#this would also make more sense if you read 'two-part something' hehe | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hannieween · 4 months ago

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the traitor | yoon jeonghan

› pairings: yoon jeonghan x female reader › aus: demon hunter jeonghan, supernatural au, demon reader › genres: angst, smut (18+) › word count: 8.4k

› this is part 2 of the curse - hannieween fest

› warnings after the cut! READ THEM CAREFULLY 🗣️

› warnings: smut with plot, unprotected p in v sex, oral sex (both receivers), pussy drunk jeonghan, cockdrunk reader, cum swallowing, creampies, cowgirl, mating press. pet names: baby, baby demon (hers)

› disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

› author's note: this is part two of my demon hunter hannie! hehe i loved writing it sm and thought to give you a follow-up part!

› additional note: this isn't proofread

the traitor

JEONGHAN WAS WOKEN UP BY A TINGLING FEELING. As a hunter, he needed to pay attention to a few things, like sudden surges of emotions. Hunches. Tingling sensations were not particularly something he would consider in the bunch. But alas.

He pushed himself up, swinging his legs at the rim of the bed and stared at his knees for a long second. He took a deep breath, rubbing his leg. It was pointless, he thought when he could not find a reason to leave his bed in the middle of the night.

But being a hunter also meant he needed to be on high alert nearly all the time. In his experience, sometimes it was a good idea to pay attention to those moments when nothing made sense at all, such as this.

Sucking in a breath, he got up, stretching his arms over his head as he went over to the small bathroom, avoiding his reflection in the mirror as usual.

Upon the first splash of water hitting his face, he thought of you. It was inevitable. The image of you sitting on the ground, surrounded by trees. That night, he left you for good. That night nothing made sense.

Needless to say, he was exercising all of his will not to go back to you.

Stop trying to make sense of everything.

After that, he debated whether to go back to bed or not. He could take a bottle, try to numb his senses and finally get a good night of sleep. But he needed to stay sharp.

It was a lost game. He got dressed, throwing his pair of black pants and a long-sleeved shirt. Finally strapping his chest harness on with his knife. Going out in the middle of the night meant to him that he was out for blood.

That was his way to distract himself.

“Jeonghan, don’t go.”

He recoiled, shaking his head and mentally reprimanding himself for thinking of you. But your last words to him were a curse, echoing inside him every night, refusing to leave.

Jeonghan let out a long exhale as he wandered through the night. The streets of the town were completely deserted, he knew he would have to stay out for some hours before he found a target.

These nights, he had been hunting until he travelled three towns over. All because he cannot find it in himself to sleep, he has to fight the urge to seek you out somehow.

Maybe this will be the night he breaks.

There was nothing in this town. It was too safe, too clean. He knew it would not be long until he had to move to a different town and start over. He had been commissioned to travel to different parts of the globe to find something to hunt down, so maybe he was doing his job right.

So why did he come back to this shitty town?

Something spiked in his nightly walk. There was something unusual in the air and it was not good. Jeonghan had really good senses, but his intuition was something that discerned him from the rest. Sometimes, people would tell him that his intuition was something out of the ordinary for hunters. So he paid more attention to that rather than his other senses.

He subconsciously rubbed his leg and caught his hand just as it dawned on him.

“Jeonghan, don’t go.”

Fear set in, and adrenaline kicked in as he started for a run. He had been stupid. So fucking stupid. How come he did not think that by killing every single demon within the town’s radar he was putting a target on you for other hunters?

Jeonghan knew the town by heart, but he could travel to your apartment with his eyes closed. Countless were the nights he stumbled upon your front door, burdened with misery all over. This cannot be the way he finds you dead.

“No, no, no, no…” he had been repeating the word like a prayer as he climbed through a labyrinth of stairs, panting, sweating until he burst the door open, already knowing you would not be there.

He called your name, either way, his voice bouncing back the walls. There was something off. A glass was shattered, pushed against the corner of the room. One of the chairs was drawn back, in the middle of the way. Jeonghan painted a scene of what could have gone down.

You were probably having the bowl of cereal that was abandoned on the table when the other hunter burst in. Jeonghan could not catch the scent of the other hunter, so that meant whoever that was, they masked themselves well.

No, you would have felt his presence before he could even breathe in your direction. Even if you were young, you were not completely inexperienced in the world of hunters. He made sure of that.

Another possibility was that you were asleep when the other hunter came. The sheets of your bed were tossed to one side. Jeonghan crouched next to the mattress, a terrible feeling sinking inside him upon getting your scent lingering on the pillowcases.

Jeonghan missed you.

“Where are you?” he whispered, closing his eyes to focus on your scent.

You smelled like freshly picked flowers. The smell he would get in the early morning after a night of rain. The fact that you did not smell like death, or blood made it hard for him to focus sometimes.

He opened his eyes, his focus falling on the open window. Then, he knew why he could not make a story from his surroundings. He had been wrong to assume it was just one hunter.

Someone had also come through the window. You were trapped from the beginning. His chest contracted painfully. But somehow he knew you were not dead yet. Have you been taken? For what end?

The possibilities were endless. Even if hunters had a long history of hating demons, some of them were missing some screws in their heads too.

Jeonghan needed to find you, soon.

Making his way down the stairs, part of him wondered why try at all. He could be rid of you once and for all. He could probably turn a blind eye to this and wait for your name to appear on the ledges. He would be free from the fucking pull that lead him to you every time.

The pull.

The feeling he got every time he closed his eyes, the need and deep craving for you that made him go insane. He let himself feel it. It tugged inside him, like a thread that was tied to his very core.

Jeonghan had refused that feeling ever since he met you, thinking it was some kind of trick you played on him. Silly little hunter got all wrapped in a demon’s finger.

But if he dared to give in to the pull, everything smelled of you. Every gulp of air he took as he walked in the direction his senses told him, he saw your face, your teary eyes as he walked away. Fool, he was a fool.

He was led to the forest, the same path he had gone through when he saw you last. Maybe he was wrong, maybe he should go back and hunt you down.

But then he heard noises, leaves rustling, and a small intake of breath. The sweet way you drew air into your lungs.

He thought of risking calling your name, but he did not know if the hunters were around. So he just followed the sound of your movements until he could get his sight on you.

You could barely walk right. Something had brought you to your knees, your arms were shaking as you forced yourself to stand up, with a low grunt.

Jeonghan called your name this time, making you lift your head.

He stopped abruptly at the sight of something shiny in your fist.

“Don’t move,” you said, punctuating each word painfully.

“What happened?” he asked, his tone declining in sickening worry, his gaze coasted at each of your limbs, zeroing in on your thigh. The same thigh he had been rubbing since he woke up. It made no sense.

“Step back, Jeonghan,” you panted in pain, raising the knife at him when he made a motion toward you.

“You didn’t notice me coming,” he muttered, analyzing the situation quickly. He sent his gaze around, seeing if there were signs that there was someone lurking by. “Let me take a look at that.”

“How did you find me?” you asked, letting yourself plop back to the ground, letting go of the knife.

Jeonghan got to your side, dropping to his knees to look at your thigh. “I don’t know,” he mumbled, eyeing you. “I’m going to touch you now.”

You nodded and braced yourself for the searing pain in your leg. “Two hunters came for me,” you said, clenching your jaw tightly to resist the pain throbbing in your skin, around the gaping hole that was turning black.

“I know,” he said, examining the open wound. “Did they stab you?”

You shook your head twice. “They were using a crossbow. Silver arrows,” you explained despite the need to rest your head on the ground and sleep through it. “I feel dizzy.”

Jeonghan shot you a look. He was worried. “It’s the poison, they must’ve poisoned the arrows to neutralize you,” he said at once. “What did you do to the arrow?”

“I used it on one of them,” you replied with half a smirk that slowly vanished as Jeonghan started to press on the wound, seeing any signs of anything odd or unfamiliar.

“Sorry,” he breathed as you tensed in pain. “I need to see if there’s anything in there,” he explained, but what did not satiate the doubts running in his mind.

“I can’t heal it,” you repeated and now he could see that beneath the pain and the need to deflect it with humour, you were scared.

“I know, I know,” he told you, giving you a stern look. “I can help you but you’ll have to be quiet.”

“Are you missing this opportunity to gag me?” you quipped but your tone was made weak by the fear of feeling pain.

Demons were used to pain, yes. But you were a fairly young demon and lived for most of your life in the human world. Such pain was not welcome for you.

“Breathe,” he instructed and used his hands on your thigh to squeeze the blood that had gone black and tacky around the wound.

You gritted your teeth, writhing in pain on the cold ground. “Stop, stop, stop,” you cried out, trying to get his hands off you.

But Jeonghan was quicker, and stronger than you at that moment. He did not deter from his task to squeeze the poisoned blood out of you despite your desperate cries for him to stop.

You lied, nearly limp from the exhaustion the pain had put you through. A sheen layer of cold sweat covered your face and neck, breathing hard. “Fuck you,” you sighed when he stopped squeezing your flesh.

“I’m not done yet, I need pressure on the wound,” he said, moving back to unfasten his belt with his bloodied hands. He strapped the belt around your upper thigh, forming a tight tourniquet.

“Hurry,” you said through heavy breaths. As you eased your back on the ground, Jeonghan caught sight of the dark wings splayed beneath your body, a clear sign that you could not conceal yourself any further.

Jeonghan made no comment about the weakened state you were in. A knot was set in his stomach upon realizing that you were dying. He grabbed one of the vials he kept in his hunter’s belt, it contained a white liquid. “This is going to sting a little,” he murmured, unstoppering the vial with his mouth and not pausing before pouring the antidote on your open wound.

Your hand flew to clench at his wrist, letting out a scream that was quickly muffled by his hand clasped in your mouth.

“I’m nearly done,” he said with a composure that you could see through. Beneath that, Jeonghan was worried you would not make it.

“Am I going to be all right?” you asked in a daze, slurring out your words.

“Drink this,” he pressed the vial to your lips, pouring the rest down your tongue, which you gulped willfully, it tasted like white vinegar.

You rested your head on the ground, taking slow and deep breaths as though you had just finished running a marathon.

“You’re going to be all right,” he said after a quick examination of the wound. “But you’ll need to feed soon.”

“Right,” you mumbled in understanding. By feeding, Jeonghan did not mean human food. Although you could eat human food just all right, it did not sustain what your soul craved.

He meant sins. You needed to feed off human sin. They made you stronger, and faster. They gave you the fuel needed to fight hunters. Going off sins for a while made you just as strong as an average human.

“Why haven’t you fed?” he asked, and it took you a while to understand that he was reprimanding you.

“Been busy,” you sighed, closing your eyes for a moment.

The last thing you heard was Jeonghan mumbling, “We’ll need to move soon,” before you fell into a deep sleep on a floor covered by dead leaves.

Upon regaining consciousness, you noticed with some slowness that you were not surrounded by trees, and you were moving. Your wings were cradling you, so that meant your horns were on sight too.

You tensed up, drawing in a shaky breath, palming your body in search of the knife that you stole from your attackers.

“Easy,” Jeonghan murmured next to you, a hand on the wheel, the other on the shift stick.

“Where are we?” you said, looking around.

“Radewood town,” he replied nonchalantly, eyes set forward on the road.

“Why?” you asked slowly, hiding your wings, from his view, then your horns.

“How’s your leg?” he asked instead, glancing at your thigh.

The wound had stopped bleeding, it was no longer oozing that black substance that had Jeonghan looking worried. You hissed painfully upon searching it with your fingers. The blood had dried, but it was not healing at the speed you would normally have.

“It hurts,” you mumbled, biting your bottom lip. “It’s not healing.”

Jeonghan nodded. “You need to feed,” he reminded you with the same tone of reprimand of earlier.

“Well, I fled without stopping to grab my purse so,” you sighed. “I don’t have money.”

“I’m not talking about human food,” he said with annoyance, shooting you a look that made you shrink in your seat. “Why haven’t you been feeding?”

You blinked slowly at him and shook your head after deciding that there was no answer that would please him. “I have–,”

“Don’t say you have been busy,” he cut in.

“Well, it’s the truth,” you said with a clear tone that gave away your lie.

But Jeonghan could feel it. Whenever you told a lie, there was a change in the air that only he could notice as a hunter. No human could ever detect your lies, only people like him.

“You know I know when you’re lying,” he said flatly, throwing you a dark look.

“Be content with that,” you bit back. “I’m not telling you anything else.”

Jeonghan shook his head, deciding not to press any further on the matter. He licked his lips, filling his lungs with the fresh midnight air that swept in through his rolled window.

“Jeonghan,” you called softly and did not proceed with your question until he glanced your way. “Why are you helping me?”

Jeonghan turned on a different street again, checking his rearview mirror, pretending to ready his answer. “I don’t know,” he replied.

There it was the empty void extending between you and him. If he lied, you would have sensed it too.

“How did you find me?” you pressed, trying to the best of your ability to analyze him. You were still weak, but you could still observe him despite your foggy brain.

“I don’t know,” he repeated with a low tone that barely cut through the noise of the engine of the car.

It made no sense. The way he found you in the woods was not done with any of his training. He simply closed his eyes and let him be taken to you. He did not even think twice as he carried your body to his car and started it, taking you far away from the town where you would be at risk of being hunted down.

“We have to lay low for now,” he mumbled, avoiding your eyes as he cut the engine on an empty parking lot.

You raised your gaze to the motel sign, flaring in red neon light. “Is this your version of laying low?” you said with a sarcastic huff. “We could’ve done that back in the forest.”

Jeonghan opened the door, not bothering to look at you or give you a reply. “Stay here.”

You saw him walking away from the car, putting his hands in the pockets of his black leather jacket, his long hair tied in a messy ponytail.

You could run away. You did not know if Jeonghan was even aware of this. Maybe he was, you had a bad leg, and you were growing weaker.

Plus, there was the fact that he was now aware that he could trace you with his eyes closed.

You swallowed hard, waiting for him in the passenger seat of his old Mustang. You were going nowhere.

Some minutes later, you saw Jeonghan exiting the building and walking towards your door, which he opened to retrieve his belongings, which were his belt and his knife.

“This way,” he mumbled, motioning to one of the doors with a jerk of his head.

Reluctantly, you exited the car, closing the door behind you. Jeonghan turned and walked over to the door, introducing the key, and opening it for you.

You knew better than to fight it. There was a quiet storm brewing in the man’s head, and you were in its eye. You knew him well enough to tell when something was bothering him. And you knew what it was.

With a sigh, you walked inside the room. “One bed?” you turned to him with an exasperated look.

“I didn’t think you would mind,” he froze by the doorframe.

“Whatever,” you waved a hand dismissively before he could offer to change it.

As soon as Jeonghan closed the doors and the blinds, you started to the bathroom, taking all of your clothes off in front of him. You made no invitation, no offer but you still left the door open, the sound of the shower filling the tiny room.

Jeonghan made another small inspection, looking out of the window through the blinds before deciding to relax. He took his jacket off, leaving it neatly by the chair that was pushed to one corner of the room. He took his boots off, sitting down on the chair with a low grunt of exhaustion.

As he sat up straight, he caught sight of his hand, only noticing because he had started moving it, rubbing his palm on the exact spot where you had been injured.

“What the fuck?” he whispered to himself, raising his gaze as you returned to the bathroom, wholly naked, pressing a towel to your hair.

“You okay, hunter?” you eyed him curiously, like a cat that just noticed a flashy light.

Jeonghan frowned, not at you but at the thing stirring inside his chest. That feeling he got only when he was with you. “When is the last time you fed?”

“Here we go again,” you rolled your eyes but continued towel-drying your hair without bothering to respond.

“Answer me,” he muttered when you turned your back on him. Your reluctance to answer his question might have given him the answer.

“The last time we saw each other,” you said, your words echoing his own thoughts.

“Why?” the word was sharp like it took everything in him to suppress the dark emotion pulling on his every nerve. “That happened months ago.”

“Why do you care so much?” you spat, turning around to face him.

The question seemed to make him return to his senses, his eyes flickered with an emotion that you were to weak to catch. “I don’t,” he replied, stepping back from his initial anger.

“I’ll feed whenever I want to,” you said and this time you did not lie.

Jeonghan stood up, commanding your gaze to lift up to find his. “So you’re not hungry?”

You bit your tongue. Your eyes were dead, and despite the hot shower you had just taken, you were cold to the touch as Jeonghan curiously raised a hand to your shoulder. It was pointless, your plan had crashed and burned miserably.

“I’ve heard stories…” you whispered, closing your eyes to repel the sensation firing inside you. “Stories of ways a demon can become human. You can’t become human if you’re feeding off them, right?”

When Jeonghan did not reply, nor move you opened your eyes again. He was still rigid in the same trance he had been upon finding you injured and bleeding in the forest.

“You’ll die,” he sentenced after some seconds. “Are you insane?”

You brushed his hand off. “I knew you’d say that,” you whispered with a pained look, turning around to sit down on the bed.

“Why do you want to become human?” the words sounded ridiculous as he uttered them.

“Not your business, Jeonghan,” you replied impishly, throwing the towel to him, which he saw coming, catching it with ease.

“It is if you’re running away with me,” he said. Your temptation to feed could become dangerous. And he was toeing that line too deliberately.

“I didn’t choose to run away with you,” you bit back with an indignant huff.

“That’s the thanks I get?” he rolled his eyes in annoyance. “What was I supposed to do, then? Leave you to die? To be found by them?”

He did not need to explain who he referred to. The two hunters must have noticed that Jeonghan ran away with his things, his car, leaving an empty place behind. And you are nowhere to be found. He was a traitor.

“Maybe,” you whispered, lowering your gaze to your lap. You skirted the pads of your fingers around the wound that still refused to heal completely.

Jeonghan stood before you, using a hand on your chin to force your teary eyes on him. A finger scooped your tear as it rolled down your cheek. The tear glistened on the pad of his thumb as he showed it to you, a shocked expression plastered on his face.

Demons felt emotions, yes. But nothing like sorrow. Jeonghan had never seen a demon cry, let alone one that wanted to become human. It made no sense.

“It’s possible, Jeonghan,” you whispered shakily, letting your tears flow freely.

“Humans are weak. They get sick, they die. Besides, the guilt of everything you’ve done as a demon will crush you,” he said, dropping his hand from your chin. “Why would you want something like that?”

“I’m done talking,” you said childishly, turning over to draw the covers of the bed and tucked yourself in. “Goodnight.”

He blinked perplexedly at you. The best option was to wait for another opportunity to bring up the matter, but for now, he needed to rest. He disposed of his chest harness, and his knives, leaving them on the old and battered bedside table, where he could reach out if needed.

A smile threatened to break on his face when you turned slightly at the sound of him taking his pants off, then his long-sleeved t-shirt, discarding his clothes at the foot of the bed.

He paused, tugging the band of his black boxers with his fingers. He took them off, making things fair.

“Is that necessary?” you asked, narrowing your eyes at him as he sank under the covers with you.

“Just playing your game,” he said, tugging the hair tie loose before lying his head on the pillow next to yours.

“I’m not playing any games,” you huffed with annoyance, turning over so your back was to him once again.

There it was the ripple in the air between you and him. Jeonghan did not need to comment on it, but you hated it.

Hunter abilities or not, Jeonghan would be able to read through your lies blindfolded. He was just that good at reading people, reading you.

Jeonghan stared at the ceiling, his heartbeat going a mile per hour, like a bird’s wings batting frantically inside his chest. He swallowed hard, resisting the urge pushing him to raise his hand at you, to reach out and touch your skin.

You closed your eyes, commanding yourself to sleep. But it was nearly impossible. Jeonghan’s scent was too distracting. The hunger caved a hole deep inside you. It was no ordinary hunger, it was one that had your soul twisting.

You balled your hands into fists, sinking your face into the pillow. His lust was nearly palpable, looming over you like a monster preying on you.

However, you were too weak to actually act upon it. Soon, you fell asleep, not noticing when or how.

Jeonghan however, was too riddled with questions to do the same. He turned his head on the pillow, seeing your wet hair, your naked shoulder. His thigh throbbed in something that reminded him of pain, though his flesh was fine and did not hurt.

Why would you want to become human? What could be a good enough reason to want to abandon your life full of pleasures? It made no sense. Jeonghan had never heard of a demon becoming human, but he saw you crying, so that must mean that it could be done.

Still, it meant that there was a price to be paid. There always was.

Wandering through endless questions, Jeonghan fell asleep. Now and then he was reminded of your presence in the bed, feeling your warmth or hearing you move beneath the sheets.

Even if he were not a light sleeper, the distraction of your warmth was enough to stir him awake. He found himself entirely pressed to your body, his front to the back of yours. His nose buried in your mane of hair, an arm draped over your waist.

And he was hard. Fuck, he was so hard it was starting to become annoying. It would be so easy to slip himself inside your pussy, waking you up in the process. He had done it countless times before.

He let out a silent sigh through his nose, only getting the scent of your hair when he breathed in. Your hand found his arm parked on the curve of your waist, you were awake. Jeonghan pressed himself another inexistent inch further, his hard cock wedged on your ass.

“Jeonghan,” you mumbled sleepily, turning over to see him. You threw him an innocent look, big eyes, pouting lips. “What are you doing?”

He responded by giving you a confused look. In other times, you would not even ask questions, you would just let him take you, take whatever he wanted, for however long.

Jeonghan brought a hand to your chin, his touch igniting your skin, making you blink dumbly. “How long are you going to keep resisting it?” the words flew out of his mouth before he could even comprehend his own question.

But he knew what you were doing. He was an expert in pushing his feelings down, particularly, he knew what it felt like to resist this pull.

“However long is necessary, Jeonghan,” you replied, but your tone wavered in the urge to press yourself against his hand, to feel him.

“Why?” he asked, his eyes skirting through your reaction. He knew you wanted this, why were you refusing him?

“If I keep this for long I might get what I want,” you whispered, avoiding his eyes in utter shame.

“Why do you want to become human so desperately?” he asked again, looking at you with an obfuscation that was hard to mask.

You shrugged, keeping your sunken gaze on his chiselled chest. “That doesn’t concern you.”

Jeonghan pressed his fingers on your chin gently, tugging you so you locked your pretty eyes with his. “Does it not, really?”

Your brow furrowed, your gaze darkening. Feeling like you were being mocked, your eyes watered again. “Fuck off, Jeonghan,” you scoffed weakly, trying to free yourself from his grip.

He did not want to see it, but your reaction told him everything he needed to know. It took him some seconds to shake the perplexion off. It made no sense. “Did you think that being human would change things?”

You made no verbal reply, scoffing as you brushed his hand off you one more time.

But you knew him well enough to expect that would not work on him. He needed an answer now, and he would stop at nothing to get it now that he knew it fully concerned him.

“Did you think I would want you more if you were human?” he asked without heat in his words, his gaze reading your features over and over. “Did you think that would give you a shot at a normal thing happening between us?”

“No, Jeonghan,” you rolled your eyes, but he could see how much his questions had pierced through you. “Quite the opposite.”

He made a motion to pull his head back on the pillow as if that gave him a better frame of your face. “What?”

“I want this to stop,” you whispered, rolling over the bed to sit up with a sigh.

Jeonghan looked at your back, you let your head drop forward, sniffling softly but you were fully crying now.

“Maybe being human will make this stop,” you whispered, motioning a hand between his body and yours. By this, you meant, the out-of-the-ordinary need for him, the desperate craving that refused to let you live. Maybe then, the bond between you would not be so unbearable.

Jeonghan sat up too, trying to read any signs of your words being insincere. But he found nothing, the quiet tension falling in the room startled him, and it made him uncomfortable. Even more, the battering inside his chest was making it difficult to even breathe.

“That makes no sense,” he mumbled with a hollow tone.

“It makes perfect sense,” you bit back, throwing him a sad look.

You were weak, nearing a state that you did not comprehend. Becoming human meant that you also had to deal with human emotions, and they were flowing freely through you, giving you a taste of what you were about to face as a human.

However, making yourself human condemned you to a myriad of threats. Not just mortality. You would become a demon that betrayed its own kind. A traitor, too.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked, trying to hold your gaze to read you better.

“I want to be rid of you by whatever means necessary,” you hissed, coating your words with venom.

“Liar.”

There was a shadow of a smile on his face, and before you resorted to a crazed fit of violence, you decided to crush your mouth with his, kissing him with enough vehemence it would hurt him if he were human.

But he was tough enough to take you. He released a grunt in your mouth that was from half arousal, half annoyance at you.

“You’re a baby,” he grunted between hard kisses. “A bratty, fussy, melodramatic demon.”

“Shut up, Jeonghan,” you hissed. “Shut up or I swear–,”

“What?” he bit back, holding your face with both hands, squishing your cheeks. “What will you do, eh?”

“Don’t try me right now,” you said, kissing him repeatedly you were running out of breath.

“That’s exactly what I want to do,” he chuckled. “Did you think that making yourself human would make me stop wanting you?”

“Yes,” you hissed, pushing him back onto the bed with all the strength you had.

Jeonghan was stronger than you at that moment, but he allowed you to handle him with a triumphant smirk on his face. Nothing in existence would make him stop wanting you, damned to hell or not.

Though it made him curious to know. “Do you want to stop wanting me, then?” he leaned his head to his shoulder.

“It would be nice to stop craving you all the time,” you said, sinking your face in the crook of his neck to kiss him.

“Liar,” he grunted, holding your hips as you made a trail of kisses down his beautifully scarred chest. “Even worse, you’re a masochistic one at that.”

The guilty giggle escaping through your lips gave him all the reassurance he needed. You were now soaking up his need for you.

“Gods,” he breathed when your lips reached his hipbone. Your touch would never satiate the craving need inside him, but this night he would at least attempt to.

His fingers tangled in your hair, keeping his grip light but it would become difficult as you gave him a long lick from his ball sack to the tip of his cock. “Fuck,” he gritted, tensing as you wrapped your mouth around the bulbous head of his cock. “Yes, baby, just like that.”

The room fell silent again, but now all that surrounded you and him was lust and bliss. It had your blood revelling, sizzling beneath your skin to take him into your mouth. His fingers thread in your hair, caressing you as you bobbed your head up and down on him, sucking him off eagerly. You were tasting him, not only his skin, his arousal, but his lust. It drove you crazy.

“Gods, I fucking missed you,” he drawled, closing his eyes briefly before he lost all control. He wanted to push his hips, to drive his cock into your throat. But he also wanted to take this patiently.

You explored him with your mouth, just like your hands were exploring his body. Not that his nakedness was new to you, but you had just gone months without touching him. And not for a single second did you forget the taste of him, you also missed him.

But did he miss you the same way you did? Did he crave to hear your voice like you did his?

Your transition from demon to human was painful, and you were throwing it all away in one night. And Jeonghan was willingly letting you feed off his lust, you were relishing the taste of his greed, sucking off the last bit of the self-restraint he had in him.

His fingers curled around your hair, clenching his jaw as he moaned in pure pleasure. He let out a gasp when your tongue swirled around his cockhead. “Keep doing that, baby,” he said languidly, following the movements of your head on him.

A strangled moan bubbled in your mouth, and you followed his command, rolling your tongue around his blunt head.

Jeonghan smirked knowingly. You weakened whenever he treated you with softness, so words like baby drove you crazy. He threw a look down at his body, capturing your eyes, darkened with a lascivious greed that only fueled his. “Touch yourself,” he said with a gruff tone. “I want you to come with me.”

You sneaked a hand between your thighs, moaning salaciously when your fingers stroked your clit.

Jeonghan sighed, blinking slowly at the sight of you, thinking of your drenched pussy, your fingers coated in your arousal as you rubbed fast swirls around your clit. “That’s it, baby, just like that,” he praised, brushing your hair back with his long fingers. “You’re such a good girl for me, you don’t even know it.”

You moaned around his cock again, succumbing to a fast orgasm, your body trembled slightly.

“Coming,” he whispered, his mouth falling open as ropes of cum spurted down your throat, moaning at the sight of you drinking him off completely, licking to the last bead of his cum. You littered the reddened cockhead with sweet pecks trailing down to his shaft, eliciting a raw chuckle from him.

“That was amazing,” he whispered, enjoying the twinkle in your dark eyes upon being praised by him.

Jeonghan sat up, hooking one arm around your waist to throw you back onto the mattress. “Your turn,” he said with a wolfish grin.

You had recuperated the color in your cheeks, but you were still weak enough to fight his strength. You grunted as your head hit the pillows, but returned the smile at him. “You’ll see when I get my strength back.”

“Ooh, scary,” he said, grazing his lips on yours.

“You’ll see,” you remarked.

“Scary baby demon, what are you going to do?” he teased again, kissing the apple of your cheek, his breath caressing your ear.

“I’ll make you suffer,” you mumbled faintly, closing your eyes as his lips reached the underside of your jaw, making you tilt your head back for him.

“I want to see that,” he said mockingly. “Make me suffer.”

You sighed a moan when he kissed your throat, giving you a broad stroke with his tongue, tracing your collarbones. “Jeonghan…”

“Don’t throw another tantrum like that again,” he murmured against your skin, leaving another kiss on the plain of your breasts, before adding, “I’ll be mad at you.”

A spark of wrath got mixed along with greed and lust, it was not new to you, but it was rare.

“It wasn’t a tantrum,” you argued, though your tone was made weak by his lips, his tongue licking one of your nipples, making you arch your back.

He paused, “I don’t care,” he decided at once. “You’re not doing it again.”

“You don’t get to decide what I do, Jeonghan,” you mumbled breathily, moaning as his mouth wrapped around your nipple, suckling at it softly once, then swirling the tip of his tongue around it.

Jeonghan did not respond verbally to your obvious lie. He did not have a say in your choices, but there was a force greater than him or you that tied you to him. So every choice you made, every choice he made, was bound to affect you both.

“How’s your leg?” he asked, moving your thighs gently to slot his waist between them. His fingers traced a circle around the scar that was beginning to form.

“Better,” you sighed.

“Mmn,” he smirked at you, leaning over to kiss your lips. “Will it heal completely by the time I’m done eating you out?”

“Why, are you in a rush?” you quipped, arching an eyebrow at him.

There you were, he smirked. “I ache for you,” he whispered, letting his forehead fall upon yours. The shame coursing through him made you recoil but sensing it, he added quickly: “You have not only starved yourself but starved me with your stupid little plan.”

“You avoided me too,” you accused.

“I know, I was a fool,” he confessed, running his palms all over your body as if he could not do anything else. He sank down, leaving wet kisses down your tummy, his hands palming your breasts, his fingers lingering on your sensitive nipples.

You bit your lip, only in your most crazed fantasies did you dare to imagine him saying this. “You were,” you whispered. “The biggest fool.”

“Uh-huh,” he hummed, kissing your mound generously, his hands grabbing your thighs with the lightest of touches before licking your pussy with a broad stroke.

“Jeonghan!” you cried out, brushing his dark hair gently as he ate you out like a starved man, licking your folds thoroughly, his tongue sliding up to your clit to then suckle at it.

You arched your back, not caring about the light pain throbbing on your thigh. Jeonghan was giving you everything you needed, giving your pussy open-mouthed kisses, drinking your arousal in with pleased moans.

“Fuck-k,” you gritted weakly, letting yourself be swept away by the gentle waves of your orgasm building inside you. “I m-missed you too, Jeonghan,” you mumbled.

He raised his gaze to yours, blinking slowly at you, pressing his tongue on your swollen clit, moving it swiftly in figure-eight motions, driving you to the edge. You gripped the bedsheets with one hand, the other flying to grab at the railings of the headboard.

“I’m close,” you gasped, breathing rapidly, welcoming the pleasure barreling through your body. “I’m close, I’m–, Jeonghan…” you closed your eyes, repeating his name over and over as you climaxed in his mouth.

But Jeonghan was not stopping. He continued making out with your pussy, enjoying the taste of your arousal pooling in your entrance, licking your folds with raunchy moans. His hands held you down as you shook with the aftershocks of your orgasm, caressing your tummy languidly.

“Jeonghan,” you called, shuddering when his hand caressed your thigh as he littered it with kisses.

“See? Healed,” he placed another kiss, right where your scar used to be.

You used your newly regained strength to push him, flipping the positions over so you were now straddling him. You let out a pleased sigh, effortlessly pinning his body down on the mattress.

“I take that you’re all set now,” he smirked, his hands roving all over your thighs.

Gods, you were a sight to behold. Your wings were at full display, resting freely at your sides. Your dark horns, curving back from the crown of your head, were on sight too. That meant you were comfortable around Jeonghan. You trusted him.

“Not yet,” you said, grabbing his hardened cock in one hand, planting the other on his abdomen for support as you eased your pussy down his length.

“Fuck,” Jeonghan gritted, his hands flying to grab your hips as you started rolling them on him.

“What’s wrong, hunter?” you teased, leaning down so your face was close enough to prop kisses on his lips. “Lost your footing?”

“You got me for a second there,” he admitted with a smirk. “Didn’t think you’d recuperate your strength that quickly.”

“Mm, keep that in mind next time you kiss it better,” you said, trapping his bottom lip with your teeth, nibbling it softly.

Jeonghan moaned, your hips picking up the pace mercilessly, knowing the exact pace and motion that drove him insane. He closed his eyes, sighing out the euphoric feeling of being with you, like this, consuming each other.

“It won’t happen again. You’re not doing this to yourself again,” he said with a faint tone.

“You don’t make choices for me,” you retaliated, sinking yourself down on him with pleased sighs, planting your hands on his chiselled chest.

In a blur, Jeonghan grabbed your wrists with one hand flipping your bodies over, pinning your body with his hips on yours, his hand holding your arms above your head. Jeonghan moved his hips slightly, finding your entrance with his hard cock quite effortlessly.

Jeonghan gave a few shallow thrusts, stretching your walls, making your mouth part, giving way to a long moan. “Fuck, Jeonghan,” you groaned lewdly.

“Say it,” he hissed, rolling his hips on yours slowly, but pushing his cock inside you deeper each time he thrusted in. “You won’t do it again.”

“Fuck you,” you gritted, falling deeper into the puddle of pleasure he was slowly submitting you into.

“Say. It,” he commanded, his thrusts gaining strength, becoming harder at each motion of his hips on yours.

You wrestled his grip on your wrists, without using your full strength. “No,” you said with a hollow tone, the pace of his thrusts knocking the wind out of you.

“You fucking brat,” he spat, pressing his face on yours, giving you a hard kiss in the process. “Delusional little demon. Did you think you could get rid of me that easily?”

“Stop,” you gasped, shame heating your cheeks.

Jeonghan released his grip on your wrists, not letting you regain control by grabbing your thighs, throwing them on his shoulders before resuming with his near animalistic thrusts, groaning on your mouth as such, like an animal.

“Jeonghan!” you cried out, his cock reaching inside you deeper… and deeper.

“Did you really think… I’d stop wanting you?” he panted in between his hard thrusts, the strain in his voice telling you how close he was to his release. “I’ll never stop wanting you.”

“Jeonghan…” you moaned.

“Say it.”

“I won’t do it again,” you said, trembling on the bed, reaching out to hold him right before you came undone beneath him.

“That’s it… that’s my girl,” he gasped, his bottom lip parting, releasing a raw grunt. Jeonghan moaned your name as he came, fucking his cum inside you with sloppy thrusts until he stopped, breathing hard on top of you.

Jeonghan eased your legs from his shoulders, deciding to rest his head on your chest. The sound of your heartbeat resonated through his head as he took a long breath. Your fingers caressed his nape lazily, shuddering under him when Jeonghan ran a fingertip on one of your wings.

This made no sense. To Jeonghan, everything had been black and white. His world was rigid, surrounded by unbreakable rules that made him into the person he was until he met you. Now, he was but the shadow of the man he was. He used to hate himself for wanting you. You were the thing he was raised to hate, to kill.

He did everything to keep you away. He bedded other women, he drank himself to sleep to not dream of you, he flew himself to different parts of the world.

And there he was, blissfully nestled in your warmth, in your embrace.

“Would you hate it if I became human?”

“No,” he replied after some seconds. “But I don’t want you to do it because you think that’s going to change something between us. Some things aren’t meant to change.”

“How can you be so sure?” you asked with a tiny tone.

Jeonghan raised his head, curiously looking at you. Even back with full strength, you still clung to some human vulnerability. “I’m not sure,” he confessed. “I don’t understand many things. But I know that changing yourself won’t bring you happiness, only misery.”

“I’m just tired of this,” you said, and it did not matter that you could not cry anymore, he knew that the statement hurt to say.

Jeonghan got to his knees, pulling out of you gently to slump his body next to yours. He took one long look at you, reminiscing of what he felt when he knew you were slipping away. It was fear, that was undeniable, he was too familiar with that feeling. But never like this.

“I don’t know what to say,” he said with a light frown.

“How did you find me, Jeonghan? How did you know I was in trouble?” you dared to ask again, now your words taking another meaning.

Jeonghan paused. “I just did,” he said but rolled his eyes when you saw through his lie. “I felt something.”

“Jeonghan,” you started, your tone reducing itself to a whisper. “There is a reason why we can’t get rid of each other.”

He went rigid, his eyes coasting all over the features of your face.

“Have you ever tried to… kill me?” you asked, hating how your words came off while lying naked next to him.

“You’d know it if I had,” he said, taken aback by your questions. “Why are you asking me this?”

“There is a reason why you can’t kill me,” you said, despite how crazy you were sounding. “I know you’ve felt it…”

Jeonghan sat up on the bed, gripping the bedsheets to steady himself. He felt lightheaded. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Liar,” you whispered, sitting up next to him.

He ran his hands on his face harshly. “Stop that. This isn’t a game.”

“The last time we saw each other, you felt something,” you pressed, searching his eyes as he faced you.

“It makes no sense,” he whispered dejectedly.

It made perfect sense. The grip that you had on him was unlike anything else he had faced. Time after time he tried to run away, to put distance between you and him. He always found his way back to you somehow, either by greed, by lust or purely by fate. He never knew why, he was bound to you.

“Look at me,” you said, and his gaze found you. “There’s no point in fighting this. I know you’ve tried it before, I tried too.”

“It’s–,”

“Impossible?” you scoffed with a mocking smile.

It was a sick joke. A demon and her hunter. The lamb and the wolf, chasing each other endlessly.

“Is this why you thought becoming human was an option?”

You paused but nodded slowly after some seconds of pondering.

Jeonghan sighed, touching your forehead with his. “That’s a high price to pay,” he whispered.

He knew your next words before you uttered them, “I’m willing to pay it, Jeonghan.”

“I don’t want you to,” he gritted out his words, even if he did not understand, he could not stop fighting it any longer. “I like you the way you are.”

Demon or not, you felt something in your chest, tugging at you. “That’s not the problem,” you shifted back, looking at his confused face.

“I can’t have any ties to anyone,” he said. “Someday I’ll end up dead fighting something stronger and quicker than me.”

“After today’s events, I think it’s clear that I am chased by the same danger.”

“I’ll grow old, and slow,” he added.

“I would too, if I were human. No one would hunt me down,” you countered, not convinced by the obfuscated look on his face. “I wouldn’t have to feed from you.”

“You could die in the process,” he said, and that was the final reason he needed.

“Jeonghan–,”

“No,” he shook his head.

At that, you stopped fighting. You got out of bed, slowly picking up your torn clothes and putting them on without looking back at him.

His heart faltered, looking at you as you sat down on the edge of the bed, next to him. “Don’t go,” he mumbled.

“Give me a reason to stay.”

Jeonghan swallowed his words, taking a last look at your eyes. Something tugged at his heart, urging him to stop you. But you were slipping through the door before he could spring to action.

Fool. He was a fool.

› author's note: heyyyooooooo

once again i have nothing to say. i just need jeonghan on his knees, begging for forgiveness and mercy

anyway, stay tuned for my next hannieween fest piece!! next post will be loser hannie!! hehe

toodles!

read the next part!!

support me on ko-fi?

#jeonghan smut #yoon jeonghan smut #yoon jeonghan x reader #jeonghan x reader #svthub #thediamondlifenetwork #svt smut #hannieween's kinktober #yoon jeonghan fanfic #seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #svt imagines #yoon jeonghan x you #jeonghan fanfic #jeonghan fic #hannieween #hannieweenfest

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moviestarmartini · 8 months ago

Text

mirrors. — jude bellingham x reader

summary: your boyfriend is adamant in showing you why you have no reason to be insecure.

wc: 1.8k

warnings: midsize!reader, insecure!reader, nsfw (18+) , unprotected sex (don't ♡) , mirror sex, lots and lots of compliments, soft dom!jude, fingering, creampie, happy ending.

A/N: this is a quick read since that one scene in bridgerton got a bit of muse back from me!! thank you to all the girlies (gn) who dropped by la sobremesa to beg for jude lmao. i have a few other requests i may or may not honor hehe but enjoy!!

The door to the hotel room slammed shut, and you felt as though it might have rattled the whole building. You couldn’t hear past your panting and deafening heartbeat, not knowing what to do but pace around.

You’ve come to learn in that gala that, even though it wasn’t likely, people on the internet were kinder with their cruel words. Nothing could compare to the looks of disdain you got as you hung around your boyfriend. It didn’t make sense, you’ve been dating Jude for almost two years, and nothing compared to those models and influencer types staring you down.

You muttered something to him earlier about having a tummy ache, leaving the event and heading up to the shared hotel room in the same venue. You didn’t even catch the beep of a card being swiped on the door, your stupor too high to notice your boyfriend approaching you concerned.

“Love…” His voice started softly, effectively startling you half to death. But his brows furrowed softly as he noticed your panic, taking your hands in his. “What’s wrong? Tell me— no, wait, let’s breathe.” He squeezed your hands and guided your breathing with large intakes and exhales until your bottom lip effectively stopped quivering.

“Do I embarrass you?” You couldn’t help but ask, a baffled expression growing in his face before the realization settled in.

“Oh, honey,” He cooed in a sigh, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. “Those women are just envious. If you didn’t mind them, you would know I spent all night looking at you and only at you.”

“But—“ You tried arguing, swallowing the lump in your throat.

“No, none of that.” Over time in both your friendship and subsequent relationship, Jude had given you confidence that had pushed you forward in every aspect of your life. He looked around the room trying to find a device to get his point across, his face softening landing his eyes on the full body mirror next to the balcony.

“C’mere.” Jude pulled you towards the item, his hand gently on yours. His hand opened to guide you to stand in front of it, staring at your reflection. He stood behind you, his hand on your waist.

“Look at you…” His voice was soft but still sultry. “You’re perfect. The way your curves hug that dress perfectly anyone would think it was made for you and nobody else.” A smile twitched in your mouth, but the whispering flashed by from one ear to another, snapping you out of the temporary happiness.

“It’s just us here, okay?” He could read you like an open book, his other hand gently cupping your jaw to maintain your look towards your reflection. “It’s also how your skin is so soft it shines under the light.” The hand on your waist ran up your exposed arm, forming a trail of goosebumps on the skin.

“And all those other parts of you I worship constantly.” He leaned in to place his chin on your shoulder, looking back at the two of you.

“How are you so sure?” Your chest heaved but for a completely different reason once you asked sheepishly, a smile forming in response before he put the words out there.

“Because you’re the love of my life,” He replied simply. “Besides, we’ve been together for so long, you’re my reflection. And I’m yours.” He kissed your cheek delicately before parting ways with your body.

But everything was long forgotten already by you, turning around to pull him into a kiss. His hands found the way to your waist, pulling you close briefly before he broke the kiss.

“I love you more than anything in this universe.” He brushed his nose against yours before twirling you around to face the mirror again. “And you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”

While a hand pinched the bottom of the zipper, the other pulled it down painfully slowly, never breaking eye contact through the mirror. The gown soon pooled at your feet, and it was as if he took a moment to admire the work of art in front of him; you were wearing just heels and panties, your nipples hardened from the sudden cold of the room.

He didn’t even need to say anything, his eyes did the talking.

Jude leaned closer to kiss your neck, slowly, never breaking eye contact. He held you closer to his body with a hand resting on the soft pouch under your belly button. You thought you could melt into a puddle right then there, chest heaving as you noticed his hand lower even further and into the tiny piece of underwear— worn so it wouldn’t show with the dress.

“This pretty pussy is also so perfect.” He whispered in your ear, his slender fingers pressing against your clit. “I want to make love to you, with one condition.”

“Yes?” Your voice quivered, letting out a loud exhale at the way his lips curled into a snarky smile.

“It has to be facing this mirror.”

You didn’t even notice when you nodded, or when you sauntered over to the bed and laid on it per his request. It all felt like an out of body experience until he tugged off the tie, starting to strip in front of you.

You couldn’t help but smirk as he unbuttoned the expensive white shirt, the sound of his belt coming undone made your mouth water. He removed his shoes before taking off the pair of slacks, taking slow steps towards you before leaning down to kiss a trail up your stomach, chest, throat and up to your lips.

You moaned into the kiss as he laid on top of you, pinning your hands over your head. “Perfect,” He breathed out between kisses, “And all mine.”

His hand sneaked under your panties again, teasing your wet entrance with two slender fingers before pushing one first past your entrance. “F-fuck— Baby,” You squirmed, your back aching against his bare chest.

“Feels good, right?” He asked softly, pumping his finger in and out, his boner pressing against your upper thigh but he seemed too focused on working his magic.

You nodded between moans as he slipped another finger past. You’ve done this a thousand times already, but why did this time feel so… different? Your senses were clouding with each expert twist and tiny thrust he was giving you, the underwear practically ruined with your slick.

But he suddenly stopped, leaving you distraught as he removed the tiny item of clothing, taking off his underwear to match. No matter your weight, it was surprising how easily he could manhandle you, switching so you laid on top of him.

“You know what to do, love.” He cupped your face, and you nodded, taking his leaking cock in your hand to line it against your entrance.

You watched as he closed his eyes, almost squeezing them shut at your light teasing. You smiled before pushing him in completely, a groan escaping both of your lips once it was fully inside.

You rocked your hips, noticing how he had opened his eyes. Moans left your lips as his arm reached up, taking a hold of your jawline to tilt your face up. Once again, you met your eyes in the mirror, your stomach sucking in.

“Look at you,” He cooed. “You’re perfect when you ride me.”

You gave yourself a good look and couldn’t help but agree. The way your tits bounced with every rock of your hips was enticing, and now you felt like an idiot for even listening to the gossip downstairs.

After all, you were the one you had the man of their dreams under you, groaning with every bounce of your body on his cock.

“What’s that look on your face?” He noted breathlessly, and you couldn’t help but smile and shake your head. Yet again, without any words, he understood you perfectly. “There she is.” He winked up at you, holding you down to take his entire length. You groaned, noticing him shifting his weight to switch your bodies.

Now you laid under him, and you couldn’t help but notice once again how huge he was. His biceps morphed together could easily be bigger than your head.

You reached out to caress his face, “I love you so much. I’m so lucky to have you.” You admitted breathlessly as he started thrusting again, much faster than the speed your hips had established a mere second ago.

“No, I’m lucky to have you.” Jude insisted, kissing your hand. “My perfect girl…”

The build up to your orgasm lasted a few seconds. You were so concentrated on everything else to notice how close you were, only doing so when your stomach squeezed in. “Jude…” You warned, lips parted.

“Do it baby, cum on my cock.” He approved with a nod, quickly throwing one of your legs over his shoulder in order to gain an angle to touch your sensitive clit.

The moans got caught in your throat, and you caught your calf spasming from the pleasure. The brain fog from the pleasure was too much, enough for you to not notice Jude pulling out and easily manhandle you into laying in your stomach. He pulled your hips slightly up to gain the perfect angle, following his hand wrapping your hair in a fist and pulling you up to meet your eyes in the mirror once again.

“Look at you,” He cooed once again, and frankly, you looked overwhelmed in the pleasure he was giving you with each deep thrust, the sound of skin coming into contact filling the room along with the creaking of the bed and the sounds you both produced.

From the stuttering of his hips you could hint he was close too, but it wasn’t until he posed the question that you actually realized it. “Where do you want it, hm? Want me to cum all over your ass?” He groped the skin before giving sharp spanks, the surprise making you gasp.

“No!” You shook your head, “Cum inside, baby. Please.” You knew very well it was a trick question, and the mumbled praises he shot were the confirmation as he leaned in to kiss the back of your shoulder.

Similar to the previous one, your orgasm completely caught you off guard as it washed over you suddenly, the squeezing of your walls being the catalyst for your boyfriend’s own orgasm which he honored both of your wishes by filling you up with the thick white ropes of sticky liquid.

It took you both a second to ride off the highs, Jude rolling over to lay at your side.

“We should’ve fucked in the bathroom downstairs so everyone heard us.” You commented mindlessly, laying on your back and staring up at the ceiling.

At the sound of your boyfriend’s cackles, you couldn’t help but smile. Yeah, you really loved him. And he really loved you, too.

#speaking my truth as a low midsize girlie #jude bellingham x y/n #jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham fanfic #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham smut #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham #𓈒ㅤׂ 𓇼✽ — writing !

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p1utofairy · 1 year ago

Text

PAC: “you just like my sidekick, i just wanna ride…fulfill all your desires.” ♾️🕊️🖤

• what will the courting stage be like?

disclaimer ✩: 18+ mature themes. take what resonates, leave what doesn't. hope you all enjoy! p.s. don't be afraid to submit me your thoughts on my pacs.

pile 1 💒 —

hiii pile 1 welcome to your reading! right away i'm already hearing that you and your person share similar values and morals in the sense of how a relationship should be built on honesty, loyalty and trust. your person is veryyy traditional like when you two go out together, they'll want to treat you. or if you see something you really like they'll go out of their way to make sure you have it. they'll have a strong urge to provide for you, and at first you might be a little wary of this because you don't want them thinking that you need them for everything or that you'll become co-dependent (but that's not the case at all) they just want you to know that they'll always be there for you; if you need them. as you start getting to know them more, i think you'll be more open to being spontaneous and embarking on a fresh and exciting journey with them. i feel like you're a bit guarded/protective of your heart and although you really want this relationship with them…the fact that you'll be so open and vulnerable scares you. fear not, pile 1. be willing to embrace the unknown because your person is going to value and appreciate you so much! i just heard "like the royalty you are." OKAYYYY! let it happen by tame impala is coming to mind, "just let it happen, let it happen." exactly, just relax and don't self-sabotage! your person is very secure and reliable, i feel so much comfort in this connection. when you two go on dates i can see them intently listening and giving you such intense eye contact, like they're just soaking up your every word. i can see them squishing your cheeks randomly hehe i also pick up that there will be a great balance of giving and receiving, (physical touch and receiving gifts might be their love language) ugh you two are going to make each other so happy. you both have very youthful energies, it's sooo cute. whenever you are in each other's presence it's gonna feel like it's just you two, the rest of the world will become background noise. i see a lot of goofing around, them brushing the hair out of your eyes and just staring at you all lovingly…kissing your cheeks/neck just to hear you laugh. i just heard "you make it so easy to love you." AWWW. they're almost like a love sick puppy, i can't lie. love is gonna be so evident in their eyes whenever they look at you. i can see you two just laying together…everything is quiet and still & you just trace your fingers gently over their eyes, lips and nose and they have this cute sleepy smile on their face. i'm hearing you're the "okokokok" part of see you again by tyler the creator ft. kali uchis and they're the "lalalalala" lmfaooo that's so random but so damn cute.

other channeled messages:

sitting on a park bench, get you by daniel caesar ft. kali uchis, golden hour pictures, nasa by ariana grande, floral printed dress, pisces mercury, gemini venus, riding bikes together, just the two of us by grover washington ft. bill withers

pile 2 💐 —

heyyy pile 222 ⭐️ ooo the lovey dovey vibes are REAL omg your person loves to love you! if they could roll out a red carpet for you to walk on every time y'all step out together…they would. it's gonna surprise you how much they pay attention to little details about you so that they can surprise you with cute (i'm also hearing lavish) gifts! however, i feel like you might hold out on them in the beginning or make them sort of wait for your attention? some of you could have never been in a relationship before or have been single for a long time, and the connection is going to feel foreign at first. you're going to be navigating some pretty complex feelings/emotions but this person is willing to wait and accommodate whatever you need, even if it is space. your person is used to taking action right away, so taking a steady approach to building this connection with you will be a good balance for them. once things start moving along you'll really understand how deep their feelings are for you lol they're very direct and will not hesitate to make it known. your person has strong fire sign/leo energy whereas some of you that chose this pile give water sign vibes. when you initially meet them you may think to yourself "psh, we wouldn't work." because you two are a bit different in terms of personality, but if anything that'll draw you closer together. summer renaissance by beyoncé is playing and i can hear "it's so good, it's so good, it's so good, it's so good, it's sooooo gooood." yeah you're gonna fold pile 2 LMAOOOOO you can't resist them! i feel like they’ll give you a cute tennis bracelet or a watch and be like “here you go, it’s the anniversary of the day we first started texting each other.” 😭 so imagine when you two actually make it OFFICIAL. awww i’m hearing your gonna hit the jackpot with this person pile 2.

other channeled messages:

national anthem by lana del rey, you're so sentimental baby, fireworks, coquette aesthetic, let the light in by lana del rey ft. father john misty, lover boy era, sweet thing by mary j. blige

pile 3 🍑 —

whatta man by en vogue & salt-n-peppa immediately came to mind, pile 3. LOL your person is gonna rock your world (i'm hearing literally and metaphorically) OKAYYY pile 3 spicy, spicy! “you so crazyyy. i think i wanna have your baby.” part of the song just played wow your person is gonna have you whipped. you and your person both have a lot of great things going for yourselves, and i think you both share that same sense of passion and ambition. i’m hearing that you’re powerful manifestors pile 3, you know how to make your dreams become your reality. this will draw your person closer to you because they are very dedicated and willful when it comes to their goals and aspirations in life, so to have a person like you match their energy will make them feel good. company by justin bieber just started playing in my mind, “can we be, can we be, be each other’s company?” lol i wouldn’t be surprised if they were scoping you out for awhile before making the first move. they’re curious about you…they wanna know every and anything about you. you’re like an enigma to them and this person is very inquisitive and open-minded. they’ll like doing things with you that stimulate their mind like taking you to museums, concerts/musicals and maybe even escape rooms. they like to have a lot of fun and make the best of life. i think that your person is very in-tune with their feelings and they'll bring a strong sense of emotional stability and care to the relationship. dare i say it, the vibe reminds me of selena gomez and justin bieber’s relationship in its prime. it’s funny because after i listened to company…bad liar by selena gomez started playing lol. “i'm tryin'…not to give in to you. no, not to give in to you. with my feelings on fire…guess i'm a bad liar.” you may play hard to get at first pile 3 because i feel like you’ve been let down/disappointed by masculine figures in your life before, and you’re hoping this connection doesn’t let you down either. don't hold past situations against them though, because they are quite the opposite. they’re going to prioritize their connection with you and always make sure that you’re taken care of. they’ll take it nice and slow with you if you want…omfg your person is such a flirt. very much nice & slow by usher vibes. love this for you pile 3, i really do!

other channeled messages:

motive by ariana grande ft. doja cat, motivation by kelly rowland ft. lil wayne, comes from a very well off/rich family, aries, libra sun, taurus moon, infj, hey peach, georgia miller and zion miller, peaches & cream by 112 ft. p diddy, ordinary people by john legend

pile 4 💍 —

pile 4 can i just start by say that your person is so lover by taylor swift coded. “can i go where you go? can we always, be this close? forever and ever.” AHHH so cute. things may develop between you two rather quickly, there will be a lot of excitement and anticipation building up. into you by ariana grande just came to mind. this person might be a little different from your usual “type”/may not be the type of person you’d usually go for (i’d say personality-wise, cause looks-wise they’re very cute i’m hearing) but there’s something about them that’ll draw you to them like a magnet. it’ll almost make you feel appalled at how much you look forward to hearing back from them or being super excited for your next date with them. i’m hearing you tell yourself, “STAND UP!” lmaoooo y’all are so funny pile 4. your person is gonna love your sense of humor hehe you’re so sarcastic and witty. you’re gonna love how your person takes the reins of this relationship lol all you have to do is sit back and be pretty. girls need love by summer walker just started playing, “honestly, i’m tryna stay focused. you must think i’ve got to be joking when i say…i don't think i can wait. i just need it now, better swing my way.” yeahhh you’re gonna love them so much pile 4, the passion is sooooo strong. this connection will be very abundant and transformative for the both of you.

other channeled messages:

not nice by partynextdoor, confetti cake, silk red dress, 2000s rom-com type of love, infp, sleeping beauty, leo moon, capricorn rising, 10h placements, gemini or cancer mercury

#pac #pick a card #pick a pile #love pac #pick a card reading #energy reading #tarot reading #pac reading #intuitive reading #love reading #p1utofairy

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marunene · 6 months ago

Text

—· Castiel Head/canons!

(SFW/NSFW)

There are also some angels headcanons too! — Remembering that these are HEADCANONS and even if they don't make sense to you, they make sense to me./LH. Some (many) of them I only kept in a jar in my brain while I was reading fanfics, hehe...

English is not my first language, be patient with me.

SFW!

- Pansexual! I firmly believe that angels don't care about your sex or gender, for them it's practically the same thing besides your body.

- This also means that they don't care if you are a man or a woman, if you do something they don't like you will be beaten, probably die. I see Castiel from the first seasons doing this so— yeah.

- Autism spec. You can't convince me otherwise.

- For petnames, he doesn't use it much, but if he does sometime, he calls you honeybee or love. Probably "human" if you call him "angel".

- He LOVES physical contact, even if it's not apparent, he could cuddle with you for hours and still want more

- His wings are HUGE, dark and blue, when you touch them they feel like silk, they are so soft, completely from another world.

- And to complement, I like to think that they are quite sensitive to touch.

- If he were to choose a favorite color, it would be green because it reminds him of nature. But he also likes blue (sea and sky) and yellow (bees)

- His trenchcoat are his comfort object.

- HE HUGS YOU WITH HIS WINGS WHEN YOU CUDDLE OR ARE JUST SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER. Imagine him protecting you with them while you sleep <3

- Gets grumpy when drunk <3

- Legends say that Castiel once tried to make breakfast and Dean forbade him from touching his stove...

- He's almost always watching you, just... Looking at you. Sometimes it's a little creepy, but he loves you too much not to look.

- When you had your first kiss, all the light bulbs in the neighborhood just exploded and he looked at you with a surprised face-- (not because of the light bulbs)

- After seeing how good you are with children, sometimes he imagines what you would be like as a mother and what it would be like if you could have a normal life, without hunting, without dating an angel. He knows what could happen if you two had a child and can't even imagine what he would do knowing that he was the one who did this to you :3

- Physically, what he likes most about you are your eyes. And his favorite part of himself is his wings, even after the fall, it still reminds him of what he really is. Jimmy isn't exactly... Him. He's just a vessel. It wouldn't make much sense for him to choose some part of his body as his favorite.

- You collect his feathers when he's moulting (I love comparing angel wings to bird wings! Sorry...)

- besides tasting molecules, He can literally SEE them... Or at least some of them...

NSFW!

- PRAISE AND DEGRADATION KINK. It depends on the day, although at first if you degraded him he wouldn't understand why you would be doing that... But praise him and this angel will be on his knees for you.

- He's more into slow and sensual sex.

- He doesn't sweat at all, not in the intercourse or out of it. (This is canon actually)

- Something between 7/8 inches, specifically 18/19cm, a bit thick - (Misha messed with my head when said he has 9 inches, so hmm)

- He definitely doesn't shave, just let it grow and wouldn't mind if you didn't shave it too. He is an angel, he saw everything from the beginning, including Eve and Adam. There were no razors at that time.

- LOVES oral sex, give him a blowjob and he would be a pathetic whiny mess. However, he doesn't really like to GIVE bc of the taste of the molecules. (Human Cas would LOVE to taste you tho ;))

- As I said before, his wings are sensitive, he LOVES it when you stroke them when you 2 are having sex, even if it makes him a bit overwhelmed and quite Desesperate

- Usually a dom. He followed rules his whole life, let our little angel have a little control <3 But of course on his first time he would like you to tell him what to do, but over time he would become more confident and you are fucked.

- LET HIM USE HIS GRACE ON(in) YOU. Pin you against the bed, you can't even move properly as he fucks you w his grace, looking into your eyes with a little smirk on his face.

- As an angel, he has much more stamina than you, so you would only stop when you are tired. For him, you 2 could do this all night.

- MY BOY IS A VOYEUR! I'm sure he's watched you touch yourself and stuff when he were invisible, but never had the courage to jerk off to it tho

- He will look you in the eye almost all the time, he just can't help it.

- ALWAYS checking on you, asking if what he's doing is okay (especially the first few times you did this), he doesn't want to hurt you... :(

- Call him a good angel/boy when you're jerking him off and that you're proud of him when he finish, he'll fucking MELT.

- He'll get confused if you say “Oh my God”... Why are you moaning his father's name when he's the one fucking you? (HELP)

There are a lot of nsfw hcs I'm genuinely scared of myself, sorry 😭 I used practically all my headcanons in this post, there probably won't be a pt 2, be glad, mwah mwah mwah

Look at his Dom look HELPP

#castiel #spn #supernatural #castiel supernatural #castiel appreciation account #castiel x reader #spn castiel #human castiel #love castiel #cringe #castiel x y/n #castiel x you #silly little boy #silly angel #:3 heehee #castiel headcanons #Boyfriend Castiel #cas spn #supernatural fandom

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miabebe · 1 year ago

Text

Where you return

Scenario - After almost a year of no contact, you meet an old fling at a wedding.

Pairing - Model! Reader × Racer! Mingyu, Model! Reader x Pilot! Wonwoo

Genre - smut with a bit of plot hehe

Word Count - 7K

Warnings - Switch! Mingyu, Brat tamer! Wonwoo, Oral (f receiving), ties, fingering (self), protected sex, unprotected sex, multiple orgasm, mild angst

So let's talk about fuck buddies Mingyu and Wonwoo,

You've been getting the strange feeling of being watched for a long time now but it genuinely surprises you when you scour the crowd and your eyes meet Mingyu's. His presence takes you aback for a bit but you guess it makes sense that he was invited to the wedding of two of Seoul’s most famous celebrities. You're still surprised though, that of all the people in the wedding, he's looking at you.

You smile at him, giving a small wave, just to be polite, for old times sake. The way he smiles back has your heart clenching - you miss him. You really really miss him. But when you see him walk towards you, you excuse yourself away from there. Not again, never again.

You try to avoid him pretty much all day but every time you sneak a glance at him, he's already looking at you. You can tell he wants to talk, you can tell he's upset that you're not giving him a chance but you can't afford to. It took you months to finally be in a space where you had got it together. If you let him in again, this time, it would break you.

Your attempts weren't successful for long though.

When the cocktail party starts, you grab a small bite of hors d'oeuvres and take a walk around the hotel, settling down on a small bench in the garden, staring at the strangely cut grass. You could really do with a drink but you have a shoot tomorrow evening; you figure it would be better to not indulge in alcohol right now. But even after so long, as though he had read your mind, you see a pair of shoes walk up to you and beer bottle being held out.

You look up at Mingyu, knowing he's finally caught up, leaving you without an escape so you simply take the bottle from him and set it aside. Mingyu settles on the bench next to you, not too close like you meant something to each other but also not far enough to be considered strangers.

The first thing he asks is if you changed your number and you nod. He probably didn't expect you to completely disappear from his life the day you confessed you can't keep sleeping with him anymore but you did what you had to save your sanity. He then asks how you've been. You say you've been fine. You really have. You've been a lot busier than usual - you've got more brand deals and shows and shoots lined up for the next 6 months, you managed to move out from that little shared space with your girlfriends and find your own place, you were meeting people, going on dates, it was all going great.

Mingyu confesses he's not been too well. You knew that, you saw the news. Ferrari's most famous F1 racer takes an indefinite break to tend to his health. You always knew between racing, dieting and working out, Mingyu was struggling with his health so you were glad he took some time off for himself but now that you see him, you can tell he's far less happier being on a hiatus. You want to offer him comforting words but you've never really been good at that so you just hold his hand and stroke it softly. You instantly regret it because the look he gives you breaks your heart a little - you know what he needs, you know you can give it to him. But it would mean you break all over again.

Mingyu searches your eyes for some response, leaning closer. It takes every fibre in your body to move away from him softly shaking your head. But when he softly whispers please, you can't help but give in, allowing him to press his lips onto yours. First he's softly kissing then slowly devouring you to the point you couldn't breathe anymore - it's electrifying, it's dizzying, it's reminiscent. When he finally parts from you, he buries his face your neck, muttering how much he missed this. You chuckle, asking if none of his other fuck buddies kissed him. He claims he hasn't slept with anyone since you left and you freeze.

Why, why, why now?

The first time you saw Mingyu was 3 years ago. He had just won the Italian Grand Prix and was celebrating with his team in the very hotel you were staying at during calender shoot in Milan. The exact moment you first locked eyes with him was when he walked past you at the hotel lobby with his arms swung over the shoulders of two of your fellow colleagues. When you saw them the next morning, they could barely walk which wasn't ideal given "the walk" was practically the biggest part of modelling, yet somehow you wanted a taste of that. The following few days when you kept bumping into him, you could tell he had his eyes on you, but you were in no hurry. You wanted to see how this would pan out.

Eventually, after a whole lot of seductive glances and deliberate smirks, you found yourself under him having quite literally some of the most mind blowing orgasms of your life. Apparently Mingyu was just as satisfied because the morning after, when you exchanged identities and he discovered you too were based in Seoul, he proposed the two of make this recurring occurrence. From that day then on, the two of you had a lot of sex, pretty often and pretty intensely. The underlying message was always clear though - it was just sex. You were aware it wasn't exclusive and that he was sleeping with other people but you weren't - Mingyu gave you what you needed and more.

But you never understood if sex was all he wanted from you, why he never behaved like a fuck buddy? Why he made you stay the night and made sure you got a good night's sleep? Why he always woke you up to the best possible breakfast? Why he cooked for you on some nights, why he talked to you about his life, why he showed you sides of him that he never showed the world? How on earth were you not supposed to fall in love with him?

But love was not on the table in this arrangement. Not only for some ridiculous reason was it against his contract, Mingyu was not interested in dating anyone - he simply wanted to sleep around. And now he tells you he doesn't want anyone else?

You might be willing to put your body in his hands one more time but you could not do that to your heart and that's why, you peel yourself away from him muttering you have a long day tomorrow and should turn in for the night. Mingyu walks you back into the hotel, following a few feet away, perhaps just heading back to his own room. But just in case, to make matters clear, you tell him one more time that you have no intention of picking up from where this messy relationship was left off. He says he understands.

He always understands. Every time you cancelled on him because of work commitments, he said your career was more important, he understands. Every time he was in the mood and you weren't, he said that was totally okay, he understands. 1 year ago when you told him you were catching feelings, he said given the nature of your relationship, its natural, he understands. When it was apparent that he didn't feel the same way and you proposed to end this arrangement, yet again, he understood. He always said he understood, yet you feel like he never really did. He really didn't know how just how much felt for him.

Before he leaves, just so you can stop wondering, you stop him to ask one last question. Why didn't he sleep with anyone else after you? He says he didn't want anyone else. He steps closer and says nothing ever felt like what they shared. If it were up to him, he would've never let it end. You're not sure if he means just sex or more. Either ways, your resolve breaks and you make the stupid move of pulling him into the empty lift with you, pushing him up against the wall, kissing him with a passion that was somehow still so alive between both of you.

It's miraculous, the way you managed to reach your room without taking your hands or mouths off each other. You do notice that even the scattered presence of people in the corridor didn't make Mingyu pull away from you - till a year ago he did all he could to not be seen with you. He must really need this tonight.

The moment you step into the room though, he parts from you only for long enough to kick his shoes off and strip off his dinner jacket. When you unzip your evening gown and slip it off you shoulders, Mingyu let's out a groan. He hadn't realised you were wearing garter belts underneath that, he didn't think he could possibly be more turned on right now. You expect him to kiss you once again but instead he pushes you against the wall and falls to his knees before you, running his hand down your leg, mouth hot on the insides of your thigh. Your hands struggle between running through his hair and trying to hold on to something, anything behind you. It becomes a whole lot worse when he throws a leg over his shoulder and latches his mouth over the cloth of your thong which was already barely covering anything. Not only were you already craving this man for months now, but with the mere sight of him looking up at you from between you legs, it takes barely a few ministrations of his mouth and with a shudder you fall apart.

You can feel his canines against your thigh as he smirks, glad you're still so reactive to him before letting you go, only to turn you around, your hands palming the wall. He whispers a soft fuck as he moves aside the little cloth and runs his tongue between your folds making you practically shake at the overstimulation. Sensing you need a minute, he moves his attention to your ass, placing butterfly kisses on the cheeks as his fingers work the belts of your garter, pulling it down with your stockings.

As you step out of them, you turn to him and pull him up to his feet by his collar, untying his tie as he unbuttoned his shirt. Through the most part of your arrangement with Mingyu, things mostly went his way. You'd meet whenever he was free, whenever he wanted to meet, wherever it was convenient and safe for him. Not this time. This time you wanted the upper hand and you'd take it.

Mingyu complies, watching curiously as you push him towards the bed and onto it. Taking his hands you whisper you want to try something and he nods lazily but his eyes widen as you tie his wrists together with his tie. Instructing him to scoot back, you undo his belt, pulling down the remainder of his clothes, as he leaned back against the head board. He's practically gaping at you standing at the edge of the bed, slowly taking off your bra then your thong, the remnants of your earlier orgasm leaking down your thigh, making his mouth literally go dry. It takes everything and more for Mingyu to stop himself from pinning you down and eating you out. You are all he wanted. Needed.

You get on the bed, crawling on top of him, legs on either side, your face was hovering just a little above his, grabbing his painfully hard erection. You see he's biting his lip, holding back his groans as you run your thumb over his slit, sliding on a condom which he didn't even notice you unwrap. Promising to suck him off good in a bit, something he knew you particularly enjoyed, you align him under you, slowly sinking down his length, I really really need you to be inside me right now.

Its been so long, Mingyu missed you so bad - the way you felt around him, just the sight of you so close to him, the sound of you as he practically split you open, your warmth no longer accustomed to the size of him. It makes him mad that he allowed this to happen, that he let you walk away from him. He swears he'll fix it - he will treat you so good tonight, your body would never forget him. You would never forget him. But for now, he'll let you use him however you want - you deserve it and he knows eventually, you'll cave in and he was willing to wait however long that takes.

When you finally adjust to his girth, you start moving, grinding your hips, soft whimpers leaving you and he asks if you're okay, if it feels good. You simply nod, moaning in response, and Mingyu encourages you to move however you want, struggling to keep his hands to himself instead of grabbing your hips, and slamming himself into you, hitting those sweet spots that were still committed to his memory. For now, he resorts to grabbing your boob in whatever angle he can manage only for it to be smacked away.

Hands to yourself, you can put that mouth to use.

Oh gladly.

Mingyu immediately takes a nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue over it and your hands leave the headboard and thread into his hair, gripping the roots, lost in pleasure. It takes two words, Mark me, for Mingyu to finally snap out of his compliant facade, mouth, tongue, teeth, all working madly against your skin. You never used to let him mark you, it was hard to cover up when you worked but somehow today you don't care. You want him to take you in any and all ways possible, you want him to claim you - few hours of make up would take care of the rest.

You can tell his hands are itching to grab you as you pick the pace, the knot in you tightening. Pulling away from him, you lean back, one hand taking support of his thigh behind you, another rubbing circles on your clit, trying to chase the feeling in the new found angle and Mingyu thinks he might just go crazy. He loves it. He loves seeing your pretty eyes roll back for him, he loves seeing the red marks blooming on your neck and breasts, he loves the way your lips part and the moans spill. You are a masterpiece and he has been such an idiot.

He can tell by the loss of rhythm that you were close so he moves aside your hand and works your clit himself. Part of you wants to take his hands and pin them above his head and ride him to oblivion but you don't think you can, you don't think you have it in you, not when he's making you feel this good. Untying his knot, and throwing his tie away, you whisper please, begging him to help and finally, finally he takes control but much to your disappointment, he pulls you off him. Just for a second though, before he flips you over, your back hitting the bed and he's looming above you, plunging back into your heat, so fast and so deep, you almost black out right there. You beg him to keep going and he promises not to stop, groaning that you feel so good around him, you were so good for him. Within a few seconds you feel the coil snap inside you, your moans muffling against his shoulder, as he stilled, allowing you to ride out your high, feeling you clench around him in a way that made his head spin.

Come on baby, just a little more. He coos in your ear, hooking his hands around your legs, pushing your knees to your chest, ramming himself into you again and again, trying to reach his high before you were too overstimulated. But like a good girl you take it obediently, asking him if he really didn't sleep with anyone else and maybe you could consider letting him come inside you and just at the thought, Mingyu groans, emptying his load into the condom, still deep inside you.

He tries to catch his breath lying on top of you, head buried between your boobs as you softly stroke his hair. He had no idea if you were serious or if you were simply trying to rile him up to finish him off, but either ways, the first thing he's going to do the moment he steps out of here is get tested - he wants that offer to be on the table. For now though, he'll take what he can which was far more than what he thought he deserved - he would make up for everything. Anyways, the night was far from over - you promised him a blowjob and he was dying to taste you again.

After a very very long night, you wake up the next morning to Mingyu softly shaking you, whispering your name. Last night before you passed out in his arms, you made up your mind to one of two situations the next morning. Either Mingyu would be gone before you wake up, proving last night was indeed just a temporary distraction. Or he's ordered breakfast to the room as usual and was waiting for you, which meant nothing changed for him - he was still looking for the same thing from you.

Instead he looks like he came fresh out of the shower, and behind him, your suitcases are packed and stacked. Seeing you fully awake he flashes you a sweet smile, dropping a kiss on your forehead, reminding you that you had a flight to Tokyo soon. He tells you to freshen up while he brings your luggage down and helps you check out, and then he'll drive you to the airport. Looking at the watch, realising just how late you are, you panic and hurry to the bathroom as he leaves the room. When you finally make your way downstairs, he's sitting at the breakfast area, beckoning you over with two plates of food. Walking over to him, you smile.

But when Wonwoo sees you at the wedding, its a whole different story.

Is he supposed to feel angry, is he supposed to feel upset, Wonwoo has no idea. The way that guy is talking to you and the way you don't seem to mind, it makes him more uncomfortable than he can explain. He looks at the back of that greasy slimeball's head - the sheer audacity to assume he's even half as good enough for someone like you. But what can he do? It's not like he had the right to say anything.

Honestly, you are not the least bit interested in the overly gelled hair, child of a man before of you who was clearly trying to get into your pants. You're more interested in Wonwoo's reaction, rather in his lack of reaction to the, frankly, quite embarrassing act going on here. Truth be told, you're a little disappointed when he walks away.

Earlier today when you were getting dressed, you wondered if Wonwoo would attend the wedding - the town was a small place so of course everyone was invited to the pastor's daughter's wedding but Wonwoo was a busy man, particularly on Fridays. Seeing him here now though, you realise things have changed too much - his schedule, your relationship with him and the way he looks at you, it's all different now. You excuse yourself away from the twice your age neanderthal and walk out of the church, wondering why these changes were affecting you.

You were the one who ended your little arrangement almost a year ago. When you realised that Wonwoo's gestures were more than just what fuck buddies did for each other, you confronted him about it. He confessed he was starting to catch feelings, that it took him a while to realise but he thinks he's falling for you. You couldn't have that happen. You had made it very clear to him in the beginning itself - you didn't have the time for a relationship. You were still facing your early day struggles, trying to make a name for yourself in the modelling industry and you couldn't afford to be in a relationship. It would have been unfair to whoever you were with to only receive a part of you and never in whole because you didn't have the capacity to indulge another person in your life.

So rather than continuing to see him and constantly reminding him of what he can't have, you decided it was better to set him free and remove every trace of yourself from his life. And you did, apologising and disappearing over a year ago.

Seeing him at the wedding now though, was a bump in the road you didn't expect. You wanted him to move on, you wanted him to forget you and clearly he had done both, yet it bothered you. Weren't you worthy of at least a greeting? For the sake of being courteous? Sure you missed having sex with Wonwoo, god did he know your body like no one else, but you also just missed having his presence in your life. You feel unfairly stripped of something that wasn't even yours but it's fair enough, you left him. You don't get to walk back whenever you want, that's not your choice to make.

You turn around to go back in to find your girlfriends again when Wonwoo steps out of the doors, adjusting his glasses. You're surprised when he smiles at you, walking up, hands in his pockets. You smile too, taken aback by the interaction, as he strikes conversation about the weather. He also talks about the wedding, the groomsmen, the chaos with the misplaced ring that happened earlier - he's not making more or less conversation than usual, it's as though for him, nothing changed. When the topic of the guy earlier comes up, he laughs saying he was watching and would have swooped in if it looked like you needed any help. It's only when his phone rings that he excuses himself, promising to catch up later. You really do see it now. He was no longer in love with you.

As he walks off, Wonwoo realises that he was most definitely, still very much in love with you. It surprises him because over the last year he had been thinking of you less and less. He didn't resent you for turning him down - you always had the clarity he didn't. It was always meant to be about sex, he was the fool who emotionally invested himself. After you were gone, he took the time to really think and realign his life choices, pushing you to the lower ranks on his list. He thought he did a good job, in fact, he hadn't thought about you at all in the last 3 months but seeing you again today was like the dam he built to bottle everything in had finally cracked and burst open.

Sometimes Wonwoo hated how he felt for you. You were not some magical addition that came into his life and changed it for good, you were a part of it for as long as he could remember. As children the two of you didn't interact much - you lived a street down his house, he went to an all boys school and you to an all girls, your paths never crossed. He had heard of you from his friends though, you had quite the reputation for dating around but he only met you in high school when you were in a relationship with the captain of his school's football team. Back then Wonwoo wasn't the least bit interested in you. Sure he thought you were beautiful but he had his eyes on that cutie in the robotics team. After graduating high school, he didn't see you again, until 3 years ago, that night...

A part of you wishes that night never happened, then today it would make sense if Wonwoo was talking to you and treating you like you were just another acquaintance. Okay, maybe he doesn't love anymore but was he still not the least bit interested in you? Here you are, trying your best to suppress your every urge watching him in his stupid white shirt with those stupid rolled up sleeves and that stupid vest sinching his waist. Did he not feel the same for you?

Apparently not. Evidently all he's being is a gentleman. He rescued you from that guy from earlier on the dance floor by truly swooping in and taking you into his arms, only to politely let you go when the other man backed off. He offered to hold your flowers and help you with your dress as you walked out of the church, finally done for the day. He even drove you home, stopping right in front of your house, wishing you a good night.

You however didn't step out of the car, confessing that you didn't want to face your mother tonight - you were in no mood for a discussion on why everyone in the town but you seemed to be getting married. He first asked about crashing with any of your other friends for the night but when somehow all of them seemed improbable, he offered to take you to his house.

You had been to his house before, many many times in fact, during those two years. Though you were both based in Seoul and this town was about 2 hours away, on some weekends, Wonwoo would drive you here to see your mother. Since his parents lived with him in Seoul, his house here used to be empty and free for the two of you to fuck around whenever needed.

When you walk in, nothing much has changed, it's all just how you remember it. You wish it was the same between you and Wonwoo too but it isn't. He leads you to the guest room, handing you a fresh set of towels, mentioning some of your clothes from when you were last here are still in the cupboard if you want to change. Before you can ask him why he still has them, he disappears into his room, door softly shutting behind him. You wash up, looking through all that you left behind, each skimpier than the next. You settle with a pink satin set that's barely covering any of your chest, the shorts went way too high up your ass. Unfortunately that's the largest piece of fabric you own here.

You slip under the warm covers but somehow sleep is just not coming to you. There's too many overwhelming emotions - a strange sadness regarding Wonwoo, an undeniable loneliness seeing the happy couple in the wedding, and in general, a weird sense of purposelessness just suffocating you. Tossing and turning till you just can't take it anymore, you make your way downstairs to the kitchen, grab a snack that you know you shouldn't be having and sink into the couch.

You didn't think you were being too loud but about a minute later, Wonwoo makes his way down in his pajamas, rubbing his eyes behind his glasses, a worried look on his face. When his eyes fall on you though, you can see them slightly widen and his Adams apple bob. Maybe you had a little effect on him after all.....

You apologise and claim you weren't sleepy so he joins you with a snack of his own, sitting down on the couch opposite you. It's like the days the two of you used to hangout - just chilling in each other presence, engaged in casual conversation, laughing about the world around that always seemed so weird. Today too you talk about your school days and childhood in this town. You talk about where your other friends from high school were settled now. You talk about the two of you somehow managing to successfully chase your dreams. You talk about when the two of you met for the first time.

It was when you were flying to Paris for your first ever international show. Luck was clearly not on your side because there was some terrible mishap with the engine and fixing it would take all night. As you sat with the rest of the passengers, the cabin crew and pilots walked by and your eyes fell on the last man in the line. He looked so familiar, like someone you knew back home but you didn't want to assume. To your surprise, after a while, he sits down next to you, having changed out of his uniform into a simple tee and jeans, glasses sitting on his nose. It's then that you immediately recognise him, of course it was Wonwoo, the infamous gamer boy.

You both end up engaging in deep conversation, first over coffee, then over dinner and then over a walk around the hotel the airline had assigned to you for the night. There was a strange tension between you two, maybe because of the mix of a familiarity and novelty and it was strong enough to have you moaning under him that night in his hotel room. And also the following day in your hotel room in Paris.

You had parted ways after that, simply exchanging socials until one day about a month later, he messaged you that like you, he too was in Milan. You promised yourself to behave and that you would just meet for a meal. But the moment you turned up in that low V neck black dress of yours and saw him in that black shirt that fit him oh so well, you knew neither of you were really here for dinner so you both immediately headed back to your room, getting tangled in the sheets, fucking each other all night instead. The third time was in Seoul itself, during the after party of a brand launch. That time the two of you barely waited till you reached a room - he made you fall apart around him in his car till the windows fogged up before he took you home and had you again.

After that, it was pretty evident that the two of you liked having sex with each other. You don't really remember who suggested the idea but you do remember discussing how as of now, relationships were more of a burden than a pleasure and that being fuck buddies was probably the best idea.

That went on for 2 years. You'd call on each other whenever you were free, sometimes at home, sometimes in other countries when your schedules coincided - those were so much more thrilling. You did actually spend time with each other outside sex too - you'd get take outs at night, you'd take the city tour bus together, you hung out at clubs. It was all going great till that night when you ended it.

To your surprise, Wonwoo softly says it was a little unfair of you to end things that day. You might have thought you were protecting him from being hurt but he was no child. He didn't expect you to like him back nor did he want to change the nature of your relationship - he too was not willing to be in a relationship if you remembered right, he flew too frequently to dedicate time for anyone. You did remember, you knew, yet you were scared of somehow damaging him if you allowed yourself to stick around him for your own selfish reasons. He says he wished you let him figure things out on his own rather than making the decision for him like he was some irresponsible high schooler and not a mature adult.

For a minute you don't know what to say. He was right, you did what you thought was best, never really taking into consideration what he thought. In your attempt to save him from pain, you had stupidly ended up hurting him because of a decision you made over a split second.

Sitting up, you apologise. You were inconsiderate and hasty and you shouldn't have been. Honestly, you never wanted it end, you were in fact happiest when you were with him. Even that day, you had come to him with something specific in mind.....

Wonwoo raises an eyebrow in question but you shake your head. After he encourages you to tell him a few times, you finally, softly whisper and it's followed by dead silence. You start panicking and to make things worse, he excuses himself, gets up and leaves you there, all alone. Bringing your knees to your chest, you bury your face in it - why why why did you have to open your mouth?

He returns though, clearing his throat to let you know he's here and when you look up surprised, your lips part in awe and insides clench in desire. He's wearing his uniform.

You had only ever seen him in it once, specifically the day you first saw him. He was always incredibly cautious and careful with it but your mind had envisioned him taking you wearing that way too many times. The day you left him, you thought of bringing up the idea but the conversation had spiraled into something else entirely.

You mutter that it's unfair that all you get to do is look and he cocks his head at you, running his eyes down your body. Of course. You too are dressed in that pink satin set that drives him absolutely crazy, and all he got to do was look. He mentions that this uniform was old and he doesn't really care for it and you echo his words - your pajamas didn't matter either. Somehow in those few words you've exchanged intentions and permissions and before you know it, hands around his neck, you are kissing him, hot and heavy, months of need pouring in. Wonwoo groans into it, hands moving from your hips to your ass, finally getting his hands on you the way he's been dying to.

With a tap on your thigh, he instructs you to jump and you do, wrapping your legs around his waist as he carries you up to his room, your mouth working hard on his neck, kissing, sucking, marking him. When he reaches his room, he throws you on the bed and stands back, simply looking down at you, practically fucking you with his eyes. You feel exposed under his gaze but not ashamed as he points to his nightstand with his head and there you see the familiar sight of your hair tie, sitting on it, like it always does. Maybe not everything had changed.

As you reach for it, a warm feeling blooms in your chest which quickly turns searing hot when you notice Wonwoo slowly starting to unbutton his suit jacket. He's purposely torturously slow, letting that feeling between your legs burn with anticipation and so you decide to play a game of your own. Pulling your hair into a high pony, just how he liked it, you quickly strip out of your shorts and spread your legs letting him see. Wonwoo truly had the kindest eyes and the sweetest smile so when they darken hungrily and his mouth presses in a hard line, you feel triumphant, knowing you are successfully pushing him to the edge. But he simply continues to unbutton, and then take off his tie, leaning against the bed post. You proceed to run your fingers between your folds, rubbing circles on your clit before sliding them down and inside you. Now he's mad.

Stop.

Make me.

But he doesn't do anything. Wonwoo wasn't usually very tolerant of your brat behaviour, he loved to put you in your place but today, he wanted to let you have your way. He would deal with you his way after you've played out your fantasy - afterall he wasn't going to let this night get over any time soon. He simply watches as you pump your fingers faster, thumb working your clit, head thrown back, pretty moans leaving you. You're so fucking hot, Wonwoo wishes he could tattoo this sight on the front of his brain. He grabs his camera from the shelf nearby and clicks a picture just as you pull your fingers out and frantically rub your clit, feeling your high crash against your walls as you clench around nothing.

You're surprised he let you go this far - you were hoping he'd put his fingers in you, they always felt so much better. Instead he's just watching his capture of you in the camera you love so much - he always took such flattering pictures of you. Sighing softly, surely thinking of what all he could do to you, he unzips his pants.

Mouth first.

You know he wants you to get on your knees but you smile at him sweetly, further spreading your legs.

Sure, you can taste.

Wonwoo laughs. You've become so audacious suddenly, he's going to have so much fun ruining you later. He's about to take his jacket off when you softly shake your head at him. He complies, getting to his knees, pulling you by your legs to the edge of the bed, and instantly running his tongue between the folds. Fuck. You let out the most euphoric sigh, sinking into the sheets, gripping them. You forgot how good he was with his mouth.

Wonwoo forgot how good you taste, groaning as he savoured you, mouth latching around your folds. He loves the way you keep trying to grind your hips for friction, forcing him to hold you down by the thigh. He loves the sounds you make when he let his hand travel up your body, under that flimsy silk, and grabs your boob, squeezing it. He loves when you rake your fingers through his hair and throw your head back, moaning his name. He thinks he loves you even more when you come around his tongue, and look at him, breathless and flushed as you prop yourself on your elbows. He thinks he loves you the most when you grab his camera from the bed before can and take a picture of him, smiling happily at him, smiling because of him.

The sight of Wonwoo between your legs, sitting on his ankles in that uniform of his, glasses slightly fogged up, chin and lips shining with your arousal... it might just be the sexiest thing you've ever seen. You sit up, leaving the camera behind, taking his face into your hands and kissing him, tasting yourself all over, as he dived his tongue into your mouth. Not leaving you, he strips his jacket off his shoulders, whispering against your mouth.

Knees.

You're about to get off the bed and down in front of him when he grips your thighs, stopping you. He will have your mouth later, right now he really really need to be buried inside you. He watches as you obey, scrambling back and turning over, getting onto your knees, ass up, just the way he likes it. He strips out of his pants, pumping his raging erection in his fist - he could come simply at the sight of you, waiting for him like this. He takes another picture, committing the scene to memory because who knew how things would take a turn after tonight? He had to seize every moment.

He makes sure to ask if he needs to use a condom. The two of you always used it with others, never with each other but given the last few months... you shake your head - you've been safe. Knowing that he has too, he mutters a soft good girl before easing into you slowly, groaning as you try to adjust to his girth, rubbing soft circles on your ass, encouragingly. When your whimpers die down and you beg him to move, he does, gripping your hips and thrusting, slow at first but quickly picking the pace when you ask for it.

You feel yourself nearly drool at how good he feels buried inside you, so deep, hitting all the right spots he had discovered not long after you started hooking up. You too know his sensitive points so though you're barely able to breath, you tease him saying it seems like he's lost his touch. Instantly he plants a leg in the mattress and pushes your face down into the pillows as he holds both your hands behind, against your lower back and goes feral.

Oh you had been waiting for this. The way he pounds into you is wild, with the amount of brute force he knows you can take and he knows you like it because your practically leaking down your thighs. When you feel the pressure building inside, he lets your hands go, allowing you to bring it to your clit and rub yourself, carnal sounds leaving your mouth as he fucked you faster. Within seconds, hearing his ragged breath instructing you to come, you fall apart around him, moaning loudly into the sheets, breathless. Trying not to overstimulate you, he slows down, watching almost hypnotised at the way he buries himself into you.

You hear the click of the camera one more time before he leans down, softly placing a trail of kisses up your back, reaching your ear. You tell him you can take it and encourage him to continue and finish off, but he whispers.

I'm sorry.....I don't think I can stop loving you.

You freeze.

Wonwoo senses it and he understands, pulling out of you, and you turn around to look at him. At the Wonwoo who had seen both your body and your soul at its barest. Wonwoo who was not just the guy you slept with every other night but also the one you sent your favourite memes, paragraphs of rants and deepest worries to. Wonwoo who knew exactly what take out to get for you, which movie you watched with all your attention and which you liked to be distracted in, when you needed sex and when you needed him. Wonwoo who sometimes knew you better than yourself yet somehow the both of you didn't realise what you felt for him.

He's utterly confused as you take off your top and push his unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders. When you lie on you back, hold your hand out and whisper, come on baby, don't you want to fill me up, Wonwoo feels like he just died and entered heaven. You pull him down by his neck, kissing him fiercely, as he aligns himself and enters you once again, groaning into your mouth. Running your nails down his back, you beg him to cum inside you, that all you want to feel is him and within a few more strokes he shudders, groaning as he empties himself in you.

You didn't even realise when the two of you fell asleep. You vaguely remember him cleaning you up, untying your hair and softly running his fingers through it. You remember removing his glasses, kissing his cheek and curling up in his warmth. And that's how you wake up, held his arms, his breath soft against your head.

He wakes up to you reaching for his camera, holding it up and clicking a picture of you lying on his chest. You show it to him excited as a new found warmth blooms in his chest, looking at you fit against him so perfectly. When you slide off the bed and wear his shirt, pulling your hair into a bun, he doesn't ask anything but his mind is full of questions. You tell him you need water and he offers to get it for you but you refuse saying you'll be back in a second, you still didn't get the chance to blow him anyway. Wonwoo smiles as you walk away.

A/n - I overwrote but hey, I wanted to write fuck buddies who were not in college and had different professions, they needed lot of back story okay.

#mingyu smut #wonwoo smut #mingyu angst #wonwoo angst #seventeen smut #kim mingyu #jeon wonwoo #seventeen mingyu #seventeen wonwoo #mingyu imagines #wonwoo imagines #mingyu scenarios #wonwoo scenarios #seventeen #Mingyu #Wonwoo

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to-thelakes · 5 months ago

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nothing but a pass time (lip gallagher x reader)

content warning(s); underage smoking, mentions of underage drinking, sad!lip, comfort, hints of angst (unrequited love)

summary; the summer had come around but you and lip were always the same. except it was harder to ignore your brewing feelings now.

series masterlist

i have edited and read this part over so many times that i feel like i'm not actually making it better anymore, so here it is! more of my babies, the next few parts are gonna get a little angst-heavy from both lip and reader's side but then i think it's gonna settle a bit and hopefully get a little better, i have the next three parts all partly/fully written and they're sad but also sweet (comfort is real and lip NEEDS iT, this poor man), so anyway, here's the new part hehe

“My dad would kill you if he found us,” You said as you rounded the corner with Lip. He had texted you, asking you to come and meet him. You didn’t mind. You’d been dying to see him after a too-long shift at the store. You had been there all day, sweating and dealing with shitty customers, and that one text was enough for you to be filled with a familiar sense of glee.

You didn’t need a reason to see Lip, you never had but something about him asking to see you made you giddy. That text was enough to have you halfway out the door in minutes, changed, showered and beaming.

Though, that had always been the case.

The cigarette between your lips was new though. You had never been one for smoking but Lip had somehow gotten you into it. You only smoked with him though.

“They still think we’re dating?” Lip asked as you stopped by one of the pillars that held the El tracks up. The train only came every twenty minutes or so this late at night. So it was peaceful, quiet and you could smoke without being disturbed.

You were the one to plop yourself down first, feet aching from being on them all day. Working nearly a 10 hour shift was not for the weak and you were wondering why you’d bothered to do it to yourself.

“I dunno,” You shrugged as you took a drag of the cigarette Lip had handed to you. He sat down beside you, head resting back against the concrete. You let the smoke fill your lungs before you breathed it out into the night air. It was cooler than it had been all day, you didn’t feel like the air was suffocating you, just the cigarette, “Hard to tell with them at the moment,” You shrugged, the hint of something more beneath those words but neither of you dug into it. Lip simply nodded and you offered the cigarette back. He took it from between your two fingers and took a long drag.

He looked sad. You assumed that’s why he had even bothered you this late. He knew you’d been working all day and he had always used it as an excuse to keep to himself. But tonight, he seemed to want to see you. You were never going to deny him.

You hadn’t ever denied him anything.

You watched as he blew the smoke out through his nose and you leaned closer, resting your head on his shoulder. He briefly tensed up before relaxing.

He had gotten so jumpy recently.

You tried to ignore it.

“What’s up?” You asked after a moment of silence. He offered the cigarette to you but you waved him off. You could feel the nicotine buzzing through your system, not used to the high after nearly a week of not seeing Lip.

“Karen’s got this guy,” Lip said after a moment of silent contemplation, “Jody. Some fuckin’ asshole twice her age,” He explained, waving his free hand out. He then put the cigarette between his lips, breathing in the smoke and speaking as he exhaled, “Hasn’t even fucked her. She says it’s some Sex Addicts Anonymous shit. I don’t get it,” Lip said as he choked slightly on the smoke. You should have known this is where the conversation would go so you simply reached your hand out for the cig.

Lip passed it over without question.

Part of him hated himself for corrupting you. You had never touched a drop of alcohol until he convinced you otherwise. And you had resisted smoking cigarettes until one night a few months back at a party with him.

You had been pretty drunk at that party and he had casually offered his cigarette to you. He hadn’t thought much of it, expecting you to shake your head and tell him to ‘fuck off’ as you always did. Instead, you had taken it from his fingers, taken a drag and coughed on the smoke.

But that didn’t stop you from taking another drag.

Now every time he watched the smoke curl out from between your lips, he felt bad. Like he had doomed you to some horrible fate.

“And she said that they’re together and just sit under the stars and talk and shit. I mean, who does that?” He asked. You tried to bite back the reply that that’s exactly what the two of you did but you kept your mouth shut, “We’re teenagers. We’re meant to be fucking each other and doing stupid shit. Not- not watching cartoons and fucking cooking together. It’s- it’s just bullshit,” Lip was frustrated. You could tell and you couldn’t blame him. Not really.

Part of you just felt sorry for him. You knew that he had fallen for Karen but she never really shared those feelings. At least, not that you could tell. She liked him and she liked to fuck him but you were never sure if it was more.

Another part of you was happy she was fucking with Lip’s head. Maybe it made you spiteful but you wanted him to understand how it felt to have someone always keep you at arm’s length.

You tried not to think about that though.

You were his friend.

You were there to help him, not celebrate his pain.

“Are you still fucking her?” You asked after a moment. You weren’t entirely sure how to make Lip feel better. You weren’t well-versed in this shit.

He nodded.

“Yeah but it’s this guy. He’s a fucking asshole,” Lip bit back, cigarette hanging from his lips. You rolled your eyes and took the cigarette from between his lips to take a puff yourself. You stayed quiet for a minute, not sure what to say.

“At least you still get to fuck her,” You responded, trying to see the bright side. You wanted to make him feel better, “Clearly if they aren’t even fucking, it doesn’t mean that much. So, give it a few months and she’ll be past him.” The words felt heavy on your tongue, trying to ignore the truth in what you were saying.

Lip had never fucked you and you had always been nothing but a pass-time for him. A friend to cry to and seek comfort from but nothing more. You knew that you didn’t mean that much to Lip. Not as much as Karen anyway.

“Yeah, maybe,” Lip said as he glanced down to watch you blow the smoke from between your lips. You tapped the edge of the cigarette on your thigh, ashes flying through the air just as an El train passed overhead.

It was deafening but the noise gave you some solace. You hadn’t noticed Lip looking at you and so you let yourself feel the heaviness. It was just for a moment and then you put your guard back up.

But for a moment, you let yourself frown. Let yourself feel sad. Feel lonely. Feel fucking stupid.

Then you were back to normal.

Once the train had passed, you spoke again.

“The way I see it, he’s either gonna break up with her or they’re gonna fuck. Either way, she’ll come back to you,” You decided after a moment. You weren’t sure if it was true. You had no experience with relationships. You’d only ever kissed people drunk at parties so you were talking out your ass.

But Lip just hummed along and took the cigarette from between your fingers. He took another drag and then smushed the butt of it against the grass, putting it out.

“Everything okay with you?” Lip asked after a beat of silence. Your head lifted from his shoulder, eyebrows furrowed. You couldn’t remember the last time he’d asked if you were okay. Usually, you told him anyway but he never asked.

“Yeah, why?” You responded, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. He shrugged, meeting your gaze. Your eyes were boring into him and he felt guilty seeing the confusion. The way your eyebrows furrowed at his question as if you weren’t his best friend. As if he didn’t care about you.

“Y’just seem tired, that’s all,” He responded, shrugging. He was trying not to be defensive but it was hard not to be.

“Had a long day, it’s fine,” You retorted as you reached into the top pocket of his shirt. You didn’t ask before you grabbed the pack of cigarettes. Instead, you just plucked a stick out and grabbed his lighter.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He asked. You looked up at him, a teasing smile on your lips.

“Bumming a smoke,” You stated before you placed the cigarette between your lips. You used your hand to shelter the end of the cig before flicking the lighter on. The bright flame illuminated your face, eyes shining in the light. It was there for a split second before you had successfully lit the cigarette.

“You been smokin’ with someone else?” He asked. You scoffed, dropping the cigarette pack and lighter back into his pocket before you took a drag.

“Fuck off, as if,” You dead-panned as you exhaled. You then took another drag, leaving the cigarette hanging off your lips as you blew the smoke out of your nose. It was Lip’s turn to take the cigarette from your lips now. He made eye contact with you as he took it, placing it between his own.

Fuck. You hated when he did shit like that.

The way he looked at you like he really gave a shit.

You tried not to think about it.

“Good,” He said before he took his own drag. You two sat in silence like that for a while, sharing the cigarette. You knew it was bad for you. You had told yourself you’d never be a smoker but the summer was long and being around Lip was painful. The nicotine made it easier to deal with.

So you just smoked until Lip - once again - put it out in the dirt. He then just stared, another El train passing overhead. You were both quiet for a moment before you sighed. You needed to go home.

“Got work tomorrow,” You muttered after a beat. It was you saying you needed to leave without really saying it at all. But you did, you needed to get out of here.

“Stay at mine tonight?” He asked. You shook your head.

“Gotta leave early, starting at 6. Would just wake you up. You’re grumpy that early,” You stated as you looked up at him. He frowned. You didn’t know what else to say to him and so you just looked at each other for a moment.

“Want you to stay over,” He mumbled, looking away. You ran your hands across your face, wondering if you were really gonna let this happen. But you already knew the answer the second he had asked the question.

“Let me grab my shit,” You gave in. Lip couldn’t help the smirk that spread across his face. It felt like a victory, a small victory.

#lip gallagher #lip gallagher x reader #lip gallagher x you #lip gallagher x y/n #lip gallagher fanfic #shameless #shameless fic #shameless fanfiction #reader-insert #reader insert #lip gallagher fluff #lip gallagher angst

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lovingksuki · 1 year ago

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✰ SECRET ADMIRER

— highschoolers bakugo x fem!reader

synopsis: an anonymous love letter appears in your locker on valentine's day. surprised, you and your best friend start an investigation to uncover who was that person observing you from afar. meanwhile, a flushed bakugo tries to ruin your plans on the undercover alongside his shitty-haired buddy

cw: sfw; mostly fluff; lil angst; very insecure bakugo; romantic comedy; puberty; silly jokes; little swearing.

a/n: this is part one of three. let me know if you want this mini series to be continued :) and pls be patient since english is not my first language hehe ;;

word count: 1k

"oh c'mon! what if there's a heart shaped letter in your locker? you never know..."

"there's not."

"you can't be so certain about it. my girl is never looking her surroundings, who knows if someone got their heart pierced by an arrow?" mina pointed.

"shut up, every year the same thing..." you rushed and right after turning the corridor you captured by distance. "ok. maybe you were right." you said finding the metal compartment half closed.

then you grabbed the red paper in your hands, paying attention to the almost dry daisy taped lazily on the front; glanced around not spotting anything or anyone suspicious about it, then turned to your best friend.

"i got a feeling you're part of this." spurred.

"whoa, i was joking just now! even i am shocked. who's the sender?" the pink colored girl held her hands up in protest.

"i don't know, there's only my name." you stated carefully sticking the little flower out.

"let me search for a hint." mina took the letter from your hands suddenly, mumbling while quickly skimming through the words looking for something useful. she gasped before smirking at the content and then continued mumbling.

"enjoying yourself!?" you sighed waiting.

"mkay, done." handed the letter. "nothing between the lines. who wrote this sure is smart enough to not leak their identity."

"that's for me to decide. you ain't the smartest kind." you chuckled.

"hey!"

"more like the pretty girl type."

"you sly thing! you received a love letter, who's the pretty girl again?" both laughed at the statement and headed out to the cafeteria. "not reading it?"

"can't think when i am this hungry. we should hurry."

at the lunchtime the subject was the same. you two were discussing with your mouths full, sitting by yourselves on a table far enough from eavesdropping.

"hear me out. there's this line that seems to be rewritten over and over, it's a bit tattered." you mentioned. "it says: 'i'm still hesitant about what you think about me' and thanks to the pressure they put on paper seems to be 'afraid of who i am' underneath."

"adds a lot of nothing to our investigation. that's what everybody would say in a confession, i mean, nobody likes being dumped." pinky pointed out unfazed.

"yeah but, i don't think it's meaningless, what if this person is truly insecure about themselves." you pondered.

"or they're just ugly." mina chewed on her meal.

"i don't think that's the case... remember when you told me that thing you read about pretty boys' handwriting?" you brought up.

"did you actually believe that!? was just a discussion in a girl's meme forum." the pink one remarked.

"but there's some truth behind it. if you consider that people with a smaller hand can grip on a pen better when writing, also means the ones with big hands tend to have a sloppier handwriting!" you stated confident about your theory.

"girl, you're tripping... does this mean we're going across the school measuring boys' hands?" mina smirked unconvinced.

"precisely."

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦

"what a fucking waste of time..." said raging.

"dude, calm down. at least you poured your feelings out..." eijiro reassured his bestfriend trying to point out the bright side of things.

but while he's the bright side, katsuki was the dark side. they say a good relationship is based in balance, in this case it makes total sense.

"you even checked if she read it?" asked the red haired.

"when she and mina walked by me at the corridor they were whispering and giggling like little lambs. probably laughing at that letter though." pouted.

"you're being paranoid, they're always like that."

"they're up to something..." bakugo murmured.

whilst the two struggled to put up with the 'plan cupid', the other two were constructing the 'plan pretty boy's handwriting'.

"as i was saying, a pencil has six inches approximately, we're looking for a hand as big at least. if we measure our hands we can compare with theirs without them noticing." stated grabbing a pen off her case.

"you're truly a genius. i refuse to accept you failed strategic test last week." mina complimented.

"i was in a really bad mood that day... anyway!" justified while traced her own hand in a empty page of mina's notebook. "fifteen centimeters. do yours and we're good to go!" demanded agitated.

when looking for friends of theirs, the girls pretended to just have a walk around the school.

"what if it was a girl?" mina asked suddenly.

"i doubt. how many girls with large hands do we know?" claimed.

"mmm... asui-san?"

"you've got to be kidding...!" pulled her phone and dialed quickly a number. "hey!" you smiled. "no, nothing really urgent, i just wanted to ask... are you perhaps in love with me?" questioned without any filter.

"girl you gone mad?" mina whispered holding back a laughter.

"uh, ok. anyways, thank you. we talk later, kisses!" you hung up. "see? that's not her."

"woah you're so straightforward! it scares me sometimes..."

the boys exited the restroom still discussing, but when the blondie heard a certain voice he stepped back. pulled eijiro's tie to hide behind a pillar with him. "shut it!" mouthed.

"i just wanted to ask... are you perhaps in love with me?"

"uh, ok."

his face started to burn as he became more anxious. could only hear a few words, enough to bring the boy into complete state of panic.

after the girls left he released his breath.

"stop overthinking! she just received a love letter, of course she's curious!" kirishima said.

"i didn't say anything, shitty-hair!"

"your face shows!" sighed. "seriously, how can she be so oblivious? just look at you! you're terrible at hiding."

"i- i... she doesn't even talk to me that often..." katsuki pitied.

"bro, you're not the friendliest around here. but she doesn't seem to be afraid of you." kiri pondered. "have you ever tried to smile?"

he looked at the red spiked guy and opened a shy smile.

"a bit more."

every time bakugo tried to put on smiling face it looked creepy. "be more genuine." said eijiro.

trying his best, but even with so much effort... his buddy analyzed. "ok. it looks absolutely terrifying."

"shit."

#mha fanfiction #mha bakugou #mha fluff #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x fem!reader #bakugo x reader #self insert #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bakugou x you #bakugou fluff #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo x y/n

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sanjisboyfie · 7 months ago

Text

✘ keep safe : ⁶⁶⁶special ✘

link to original story these one shots/headcanons are based off of <3

a/n : some of the straw hats have longer one shots with [name], sorry </3 it's just some of them i was much more inspired to play around with than others, but I STILL LOVE ALL OF THEM PLEASE. i think it just proves i can flesh out and deepen the relationships [name] has with each straw hat some more!!! which i plan to do in the future :D anyway, this is sosososo late considering we are at 700+ hearts??? help i have no idea how or why there are so many people that are invest3ed in this silly story, but i really want to say thank you. i have been gone for so long and i know i've probably lost a lot of my original support, which i understand, but to those that stuck around: i really hope to not disappoint you in the future. i am so grateful to everyone that has showed me support - on so many different platforms too T.T THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE and i hope you enjoy

lmk which one you enjoyed the most too !!! i would love to hear any feedback and any comments you guys have <3 love u all sooo much thank u for reading :)

+ there are some lore drops in here too so make sure to read carefully hehe!!! consider it an apology from me LMAO for my terribly extended disappearance.

wc : 17k+ ... strap in ..

monkey d. luffy - piel canela by los panchos

"que se quede el infinito sin estrellas, o que pierda el ancho mar su immensidad, pero el negro de tu ojos que no muera. y el canela de tu piela se quede iguel. si perdiera el arco iris su belleza, y las flores su perfume y su color, no seria tan immense mi tristeza comon aquella de quedarme sin tu amor. me importas tu, y tu, y tu, y solamente tu, y tu, y tu. me importas tu, y tu, y tu, y nadie mas que tu." // "may the infinite be left without stars, or may the whole wide sea lose its immenseness. but may the blackness of your eyes never die. and may the cinnamon of your skin stay the same. if the rainbows were to lose its beauty, and the flower their perfume and their color. my sadness wouldn’t be as immense as that from being left without you love. what matters to me is you, and you, and you. and only you, and you, and you. what matters to me is you, and you, and you, and no one else, but you"

[name] would do anything to ensure that a smile stayed on luffy’s lips.

the unthinkable things he would never say out loud in fear of scaring people away, that he would do to make luffy happy. the unimaginable pain he would bring onto others if it meant that luffy’s joy and dreams were protected.

he would do anything for luffy.

the entire world could collapse around the two them, but [name] would only be looking into luffy’s wonderous brown eyes the whole time. there was a different sense of adoration that [name] held for luffy, one unseen by many and unknown by more. in fact, the only person in the world that could begin to comprehend how serious [name] was in ensuring luffy’s happiness could be ace.

a part of that reason was because of how ace had seen first hand what [name] was willing to do in order to protect those he loved, and the man with h/c hair definitely did love luffy. and secondly, it was because a part of that ideology in [name] lived in ace. wholeheartedly, the two men would do anything in a heartbeat for luffy.

as [name] woke up, he was greeted by luffy’s scent surrounding him. and yes, it was a pleasant scent. ever since [name] joined the crew, luffy and him would bathe together, so [name] was making sure that the man was smelling clean and fresh every night before bed. which is why the smell of the sun that luffy usually radiated was wiped away and replaced with his natural smell (which, ironically, still held a tinge of the sun).

the natural smell that radiated from his captain could only be explained as mimicking the smell of meat, but also, a certain amount of sweetness. and, genuinely [name] hated sweets, but when it was something that naturally came from luffy, he couldn’t bring himself to so vehemently hate it as much as he usually does.

he smiles to himself as he imagines the reason why luffy has a hint of sweetness to his scent is because of his natural instinct of being a kind person. he sighs in content, wrapping his strong arms around luffy’s waist and basking in his presence. he had waited years to be able to do this, just hold luffy again, so each time he could, he never failed to hold him close and hard. to ground himself in reminding himself that luffy was truly with him and wasn’t going anywhere.

as he was shamelessly cuddling into luffy’s side, the man “trapped” in his arms subconsciously welcomed the affection. since he was still sleeping, luffy wasn’t truly aware of his own actions. his arms and legs were moving on their own, wrapping several times over around [name]’s waist and legs to bring him impossibly closer.

as [name]’s chin rested on top of luffy’s messy raven hair, he smiled at the feeling and squeezed luffy back.

this only made luffy smile in his sleep and cuddle closer to his favorite person.

and it was the quiet moments like these where [name] really does come to terms that he would do anything, genuinely anything, to keep luffy safe and happy.

it was a quiet morning, surprisingly. ace was still snoring away in the corner and luffy’s head was resting soundly on [name]’s lap. a bandaged hand was going through his black hair and a soft tune was audibly coming from the man.

“hnnggg, [name] it’s too bright,” luffy whined, cuddling his face into [name]’s thighs to hide away from the sunlight that was seeping into the treehouse.

“that’s called the sun, luffy,” [name] grinned, lightly pinching the rubber man’s cheek. he only whined louder, hugging [name] so tight the man’s air was practically cut off.

“we should go fishing today,” luffy suggested out of nowhere, eyes still closed. “since you’re still healing, i can do all the fishing and you can watch,”

“i don’t know if i wanna spend my morning watching you fish, luffy,” [name] joked, making luffy childishly whine about how mean he was being. “should we go now? so when ace wakes up, he has some food,”

“but i’m tired…” luffy breathed out, shuffling to prop himself up on his palms to properly face [name], “let’s be sure to leave quietly so he doesn’t wake up,”

and suddenly luffy was standing up and full of energy, even though he just claimed how tired he was.

the supplies were gathered and they both jumped from the treehouse to the ground with ease. the moment they began walking to the stream, luffy was draped over [name]’s back and cuddling into him.

“ace always hogs you, y’know,” luffy commented, his eyebrows furrowed in displeasure. “it’s not fair when i was your friend first,”

[name] chuckled at luffy’s words, finding them both endearing and funny.

“it feels like such a long time ago,” [name] said fondly, throwing an arm around luffy’s frame and holding him close. with their difference in size, it was easy to keep luffy so near to him.

“hm, i guess, but i remember it,”

“then i’ll take your word for it. maybe you should bring it up to ace when we see him,” luffy hummed with his head held high, seemingly very determined to seriously put ace in his place over such a trivial matter.

as they were walking through the forest, [name]’s eyes caught a glimpse of something big and shiny resting on a tree trunk. it clicked immediately what it was and he, unfortunately, had to detach himself from luffy.

the younger one whined, but then he also saw what it was that caught [name]’s eyes. and only then did he let out a yell of happiness. he began shaking [name]’s arm back and forth, a wide grin on his face.

and in unison, the two boys exclaimed, “a hercules!!!”

luffy clapped his hands as his eyes sparkled and turned into stars. and seeing such a joyous expression on his face, [name] didn’t hesitate in handing over the beetle to luffy.

“hold onto him lu, we can bring him with us on our adventure,” he spoke softly, smiling at the way luffy’s smile only stretched further.

“he’s so cool, [name]! look at his horn!” luffy exclaimed, placing his hand into [name]’s awaiting one and not wasting a second before swinging their arms back and forth, “he’s so cool, thanks for giving him to me!”

despite [name] never allowing luffy to “claim” the bug that he had found, he wasn’t going to object. seeing how happy it made luffy was enough to make him give up on any possible objections that he could have had.

it had been a couple hours since [name] properly woke up, leaving luffy a slumbering mess in their hammock.

now to fill his time, [name] was watching the ocean sway and move with a bored look on his face. sometimes, if he were bored, he’d force the waves to move to his liking, but then he’d stop to not be caught by nami and her fury.

but one can only stare at the ocean for so long. just as he was about to go find another distraction, a figure came crashing into his back and knocking the air out of his lungs.

”[name]!! what are you doing?’ luffy’s drawled out voice spoke, practically whining into [name]’s skin. “you left me all alone,”

“i did not, i made sure zoro was nearby for you to cuddle,” [name] smiled, turning his head and feeling his smile grow wider when luffy’s face pressed closer and closer to his own.

“blegh, i don’t like cuddling with zoro, he smells,”

“i know, maybe we should force him into bath time with us, lu,” [name] hummed, still not breaking eye contact.

luffy’s deep, dark eyes were so captivating that it was hard to look away. [name] only found himself surveying the rest of luffy’s features. his beautifully tanned complexion that could only be describe as sun-kissed. his dark hair that was oh-so slightly wavy, but for the most part just spikey in all the most random directions. the small, barely noticeable freckles that adorned the high points of his face, credit to the sun exposure he’s gotten over their journey.

[name] smiled, leaning forward and pressing his forehead against luffy’s. the captain, finding the action fun, grinned and leaned further into [name], giggling to himself.

luffy, [name]’s beautiful boy.

innocently unaware of the hold he had over [name]’s heart, morals, actions, ideology. everything. luffy had complete control over it. and instead of abusing it, he remained painfully oblivious.

unaware that with a simple command, [name] would do anything luffy wished.

luffy, the sun-kissed boy, that had captivated the man who related to the moon. an unlikely pair, from an outsider perspective.

without hesitation, [name] leaned in and gently pecked luffy’s nose. this made the younger one crinkle his face in surprise before breaking out into laughter, the signature laugh of his.

“hehe, what was that for?” luffy asked, making sure that their foreheads were still connected.

“dunno,” [name] dumbly answered, grinning as he saw the way luffy pouted at that response. “just felt like it,”

luffy hummed in understanding. then he grabbed both of [name]’s cheeks, pulled him in, and placed a wet, sloppy kiss onto both of his cheeks. [name] grimaced at the uncomfortable sensation, but the grimace was wiped off of his face in an instant when he saw how happy luffy was.

the two started quietly giggling before it turned into outright howling laughter. they didn’t know why they were laughing, honestly, but [name] felt that silence existing when luffy was near wasn’t an appropriate environment. so he started laughing, as did luffy, and now here they were rolling back and forth on deck in each others’ arms, laughing so loud the other strawhats woke up.

“hm, no, luffy, pay attention,” [name] sternly said, holding onto luffy’s hand to squeeze. the action was supposed to trigger luffy into becoming serious, but the future captain still had that childish grin on his face. “this mean “i am” and the black space is where you put your name, m’kay? and you write your name like this — like we practiced earlier!”

luffy simply kept his hold on [name]’s hand tight as he mindlessly nodded along. affectionately, the older one’s thumbs ran up and down the backside of luffy’s hand, encouraging him to try writing it out himself. and it seemed to work as luffy turned serious.

”then you have to write it in this stroke,” [name] said, taking his other hand to hold onto luffy’s and guide him in the proper way of writing. luffy’s tongue was poking out of the corner of his lips and he was deeply concentrated on getting it right. white paper sheets that had previous attempts were scattered around their room, showing how determined luffy was in getting this right.

he recognized how hard [name] was teaching him and he really didn’t want to mess up all the effort he was putting into their lesson. that’s what motivated luffy to try again and again.

“wow! that doesn’t look half bad,” [name] hummed, bringing the paper up and examining it, “you’re getting better each time, lu,”

“i did good?” luffy asked, dropping the inky pen and jumping onto [name], tilting his head into the man’s neck.

[name] chuckled at the blatant need for praise from the boy, but nodded his head in agreement, “very good, lu, you’re making me really proud!” the childish one cheered and rocked the two back and forth to show his happiness at the news. [name] held onto him tight so that they wouldn’t crash onto the floor, laughing along with him.

“should we show ace your hard work?” [name] suggested, grabbing the paper tight in his hands. luffy hummed in agreement, seeing it as a chance to show off to his older brother, and [name] carried the boy on his back to find ace.

in the crow’s nest of merry, [name] had his hands carded through luffy’s dark hair. he would occasionally massage his scalp, smiling when luffy would practically purr in glee at the soft sensation. in the midst of the sunset, the light was hitting luffy so beautifully he was practically glowing.

to know that someone as kindhearted and beautiful as luffy existed made [name] smile.

luffy was busy watching the sunset, he wasn’t all too focused on how [name] was taking in every little detail of his face.

[name] could see every detail so clearly. the freckles that were so small they were only visible when the sun was shining on them, scattered around his eyes, nose and cheeks. they looked like flecks of a paintbrush’s brown paint. how luffy’s eyes were so dark, but still managed to sparkle and look as if though stars were living right in his eyes. they were so cute when they were blown wide in excitement, too, [name] had noticed that since him and luffy were kids.

how luffy’s eyes would widen and you’d see visibly how excited he was about something. it made [name] smile even wider. or, how naturally luffy’s lips were always resting in a small grin and how there was the tiniest mole on the bottom of his lip and how it would stretch along with him whenever he smiled.

how there was no blemish in sight on luffy’s skin and he was practically flawless. [name] hands moved from luffy’s hair and down to his waist, hugging him tight. he ducked his head into luffy’s neck, innocently blowing a raspberry into his skin, making luffy’s giggles fill the air.

“hey! what was that for?” luffy questioned, not at all angry, but instead feeling delighted at the affection.

“just wanted to,” [name] smiled, holding luffy still and continuing to hug him tight in his lap. “luffy, promise me something,”

“anything!” luffy grinned.

“never change, okay? i want you to stay like this forever,” [name] said, a selfish feeling blooming in his chest. luffy frowned, pouting as he thought.

truthfully, luffy was also a really selfish individual who, contrary to what people think, is incredibly self-aware. in the sense, he knows who he is and knows what he wants and how he wants to achieve his dreams. he’s actually a very simple man — he wants to be the pirate king and won’t let anything stop him. and he likes to think that’s one of his strongest suits, his determination and unwillingness to shift positions on what he has his mind set on.

that’s what made [name]’s words were so conflicting to him. because what if he does end up changing because he has to? but also, he cherishes [name] above everything else. he puts [name] on such a high pedestal that there’s never a chance he would willingly say no to him.

“are you gonna hate me if i change?”

“of course not, lu,” [name] said immediately, running one hand up to caress luffy’s cheek, “could never hate you. i just love you so much like this — the sweetest boy i know,”

“hehe, then i’ll stay like this forever if that means you’ll love me the same!”

[name] grinned, planting a kiss on luffy’s cheek and nodding, “you’re the best, luffy,”

“that’s right, i am! the king of pirates can’t be anything else but!”

[name] and luffy laughed to themselves, both looking on at the sun that was setting over the horizon and basking in its rays. well, [name] was too enamored with the warmth and energy that luffy was radiating to really focus on the sun, but luffy was paying attention to it.

the sun watching the sun, [name] thought with a grin, laughing at the funny parallel.

that really does make him the moon, eagerly chasing after luffy. always.

roronoa zoro - frisky by dominic fike

“we’re drunk in these fancy places, i help you navigate cause nobody around you makes aneffort and i wanna make an effort. what in the world is gonna make you listen? i got a bottle for two and i feel a lil’ frisky! what in the world is gonna make you listen? // don’t be so messy headed, you’ll have your revelation. you’re heavy handed cause you hold it all. step outside, but not to brawl. and, watch you feet — try not to fall. or we’ll make it to the moon all scraped and bruised up”

the moon was shining brightly down on the island the strawhats were docked at. each crew member was doing their own thing, for nami it was seeing the different shops that were scattered around the island, for usopp it was to see what type of unique trinkets the people created, and sanji was busy trying to woo whichever women stepped into his eye sight. and the most energetic, luffy and chopper, were entertaining themselves around the island, leaving some sort of chaotic mess behind them.

the only ones who were holding off on letting loose were zoro and [name]. they were assigned to babysit merry while the others were free to roam around and neither complained when they were appointed the responsibility.

the two were the only ones left on merry, zoro secluded near the railing and seemingly watching the ocean with his swords not far away. [name] was roaming around looking for the green-head, holding a bottle of rum he had found in his hand.

and when he finally caught sight of him, he grinned ear to ear. he quietly stalked towards the swordsman, announcing his presence with a soft, but loud, “boo!” and grabbing each of zoro’s shoulders to shake gently. the goal was to obviously scare him, but zoro only rolled his eyes at [name]’s childish antics.

“really? your loud ass breathing gave you away,” zoro said, a smirk on his face as he easily insulted [name].

the man only rolled his eyes and took a seat beside zoro, placing the bottle down, “come on, let’s get drunk!”

zoro quirked his eyebrow up at the remark, but didn’t bother fighting the urge to take a long swig. and when the bottle was pulled away from his lips, he placed it back down, “you don’t drink,” he easily said, watching with interest as [name] took the bottle.

“i don’t, but this could be a good bonding moment between us,”

zoro scoffed at the excuse, cracking a grin as he saw [name]’s face scrunch up in disgust at the taste of alcohol, “for someone that loves bitter things, i would’ve thought you’d have loved the taste of some booze,”

“blegh,” [name] groaned, sticking his tongue out, “hell no. this shit is so nasty,”

zoro took another sip, “so why even?”

“bonding, of course,” [name] grinned, demeanor flipping in an instant.

“why do we need to this bonding? it’s stupid,” zoro remarked, looking at the bottle with a blank look on his face.

“zoro, quit complaining. nothing’s wrong with me bringing a bottle for two, shouldn’t you be happy you’re drinking booze anyway,”

“i could easily do this by myself, dipshit,”

“bottle for two, marimo,” [name] said, flicking zoro’s forehead, “don’t be so pissy.”

“fine, but don’t you get all whiny on me when you keep sipping this knowing you’ll hate it,”

“oh, shut up, zoro,” [name] said, taking another swig and immediately sticking his tongue out in disgust.

by the time the bottle was halfway done, zoro drinking most of it, [name] was feeling rather tipsy. his face felt hot and he was slouching and swaying in all sorts of directions, despite being in a sitting position. and of course, zoro was holding up just fine and normal.

“zoro,” [name] whined, making the green-haired man click his tongue in annoyance. this is exactly what he was dreading. the possibility of [name] being unable to hold his liquor well and having to babysit the man’s drunken state.

“no,” zoro grunted, already getting up to walk away from the mess of a man that [name] was.

“no, you,” [name] said, quickly grabbing ahold of zoro’s ankles and keeping an iron grip on them.

“hey! let go!”

“no, you,”

“what?!”

“hehe.”

“don’t hehe me, you bastard!” zoro bit back, pulling [name] up to his feet by his underarms, cringing at the way [name]’s entire body weight fell onto him. not that he was heavy, but the fact that he was clinging onto him so tight the moment their skin made contact. “i told you not to even bother with this, you idiot. now look, you can’t even stand straight,”

“we should go out,” [name] mumbled, cheek pressed to zoro’s hair. “marimo,” he said in a daze, carding his long fingers through zoro’s short hair, “fuzzy!”

“quit it!’ zoro said, grabbing [name]’s hands in his own and restraining them from wandering anywhere else. “why the fuck did i have to be on here with you, of all people?”

after a couple moments of silence, zoro wondered if [name] did actually fall asleep standing up, or if he was really that offended by his words. the swordsman didn’t know how [name] was drunk so there was a chance he was one of those overly emotional people…

just as he tilted his head up to see [name]’s expression, he was yanked in the opposite direction and was suddenly being dragged elsewhere.

“let’s go!!” [name] cheered, smile evident on his face as he easily used his strength to drag zoro’s entire body weight.

“go where?! and like hell we are going anywhere!!” zoro shouted, kicking his heels into merry to stop his movement, but it was truly no use. [name], despite being drunk, was still really strong.

“see the world!” [name] shouted, jumping off of the side of the railing and bringing zoro with him, “merry, we will be back, don’t go anywhere!” he slurred, waving by to the still ship and skipping ahead.

“hey, hey, hey, don’t drag me into whatever you’re plannin-” zoro’s face was covered with [name] hand as the drunk man shut him up from complaining further. “gthyrhuntuhofame!!”

“you’re so funny, zoro,” [name] giggled, leaning into the man and guiding the both of them to walk forward. well, guide was the wrong word as he was walking as if he had two left feet and swaying the two of them back and forth.

once zoro managed to break free from [name]’s suffocating hand, he screamed, “we are going back to merry, idiot, let’s go!”

“but zoro! we didn’t even get to the main part of town!” [name] complained, kicking his feet into the dirt in protest.

“i don’t give a shit, come on!” zoro grabbed onto [name]’s hand without thinking twice and started dragging him back in the direction of merry. unfortunately, [name]’s eyes caught something shining a couple of feet away and changed his trajectory with ease.

noticing that [name]’s hand wasn’t in his and that he wasn’t dragging the man to walk, zoro looked at his straying figure. “where are you going?!”

”it’s the light bug! what are they called? bug light? dragon light? no…light bug…”

“what are you talking about?! get back here,” zoro scrambled to catch up to [name], cursing under his breath as [name] was not listening to him at all.

“dragon…no, light…” [name] was pouting as he tried to remember what the name was before his face lit up and he remembered. and when he did, he made sure to swivel on his feet to face the incoming zoro, grabbing ahold of him and shaking him back and forth, “fire fly! they’re the fireflies! zoro, look at all the fireflies!”

using the hands on both sides of zoro’s face, he maneuvered his head around to look at all the glowing bugs around them. the swordsman obviously did not care and tried breaking free from his grasp immediately.

“yeah, yeah, the light bugs, whatever! let’s go, you big idiot,” zoro said, taking [name]’s wrists in his hands and tugging him again.

“no! fireflies,” [name] scolded, smacking the back of zoro’s head, “fire-fly! fi-re-fl-y!”

“shut the fuck up about the stupid bugs!” zoro screamed, making [name] laugh at his funny expression.

“the marimo is mad.”

“shut the fuck up or i’ll leave you here!”

“oh, but zoro, look the moon is so bright!” [name] stopped walking, jolting zoro’s body to be near his own, a dopey grin on his face, “it’s sooooo big! and bright! like…like, a bowl of milk.”

zoro deadpanned, rolling his eyes at the childish antics he had to deal with, “yeah, a big bowl of milk in the sky, let’s go now.”

“no, i wanna look at it some more,” he plopped down onto the grass, crossing his long legs over one another and gazing up at the sky.

“fine, find your own way back to merry, i’m not looking at the stupid moon with you,” zoro said, dropping the hold he had on [name]’s wrist and beginning to walk away. [name], seemingly unbothered, only began humming a very familiar song and looking up at the sky with a soft smile on his face.

zoro’s eyes narrowed at his lack of complaint of him leaving, enunciating, “you have to go back to merry on your own.”

[name] only continued on humming.

“i’m not gonna tell them how to find you, you need to go back by yourself,”

the same tune was escaping [name]’s sealed lips.

and, for some unexplainable reason, zoro found himself sitting down next to [name] and resting his chin in his palms, a bored and pissed look on his face.

“stupid fucking idiot, can’t just look at the moon from merry, as if it makes a difference where you look at it from,” he said under his breath, flinching when he felt [name]’s breath on the back of his neck. “back up!”

“if you had one wish, what would it be, zoro?”

“for you to back up off of me,”

“no,” [name] said, hugging himself into zoro’s side with a grin on his face, “that’s not a real wish!”

“fine, my wish would be for you to drop dead,”

“how rude~” [name]’s words were slurred as he spoke, showing that the affects of the alcohol were still lasting, “my wish would be for everyone’s dreams to come true. you’ll kill that stupid hawk guy and claim that title as yours, luffy will be the pirate king…and…i forgot everyone elses’…sorry,”

“that’s stupid. you’d waste your one wish on other people?” zoro judged, giving up on trying to get [name]’s heavy torso off of his own body. instead, he leaned back on the palms of his hands and allowed [name] to rest on his shoulder however he liked.

“it’s not a waste if it’s you guys,” [name] yawned, eyes dreary as he looked at the moon. “not a waste, marimo,”

zoro remained silent, looking down at [name]’s head on his chest and sighing. annoying piece of shit, he thought in his head. then he turned his gaze up to the sky and tried to make himself interested in it. he wondered what [name] was seeing that made him so intrigued in it. maybe his drunk self really thought a big bowl of milk was in the sky. zoro’s eyebrows scrunched together as he was deep in thought.

why would [name] waste a wish on something as stupid as that? — instead of his own dreams. it made zoro annoyed and pissed off. selfless bastard, he insulted in his head.

“do you think the moon is a big cheese?”

zoro deadpanned again. what the fuck was wrong with him.

“if the moon was a big cheese, i’d give you a bigggg slice,” [name] grinned, nodding his head in affirmation, “cheese is yummy,”

“mhm,” zoro hummed in a bored tone.

then he felt the weight on his chest grow heavier and the body against his turn limp.

“oi.” he called out, going to shake [name] awake before holding himself back. the man was sleeping with a tired grin on his face, mumbling incoherent phrases about the moon and cheese. zoro was tuning him out as he just thought about how annoying he was being.

zoro sat up, allowing [name]’s body to hit the ground briefly before squatting down and forcing his tall figure onto his back, “he comes all the way out here,” he grunts, balancing the weight on his back and adjusting his grip, “then has the audacity to fall asleep,” he begins walking down through the grassy fields, “all for a stupid milk, cheese moon…i’ll kill him when he wakes up,”

“marimo, cheese,” [name] said in his sleep, making zoro very tempted in whacking him awake and making him walk the rest of the way to merry. but zoro restrained himself and told himself he would just harshly drop [name] onto the deck of merry the second they arrived.

by some miracle, zoro made it back to merry without getting completely lost. and it seemed that despite them abandoning their post over an hour ago, they were still the only ones that were on board. and zoro withheld throwing [name] onto the floor, clicking his tongue in annoyance as he walked to the boy’s dorm.

then he put [name] down into one of the hammocks, sighting in exhaustion of carrying the much taller man.

“marimo, stay,”

“i’m not a fucking dog, you asshole.”

“marimo, sit,”

“oi!!”

“shhh,” [name] put his finger to zoro’s lips, making him shut up, but ultimately only piss zoro off further. “cheese moon,”

“holy fucking shit,” zoro groaned in disbelief, standing up and leaving the room to retrieve a water from the kitchen. surprisingly, the chef was back and moving around the familiar domain as he prepared some dish. “hah? when did you get back?”

“just now, stupid marimo. where’s [name]? don’t tell me you two killed each other?”

“shut up, ero cook,” zoro bit back, going to get a glass and some medication from the cabinet, “the idiot got drunk,”

“[name]? he doesn’t drink,” sanji said, a look of surprise on his face.

“yeah, i know,” zoro said, moving past sanji and getting water from the sink.

”i’ll make him a hangover remedy then,” the chef said easily, rolling his sleeves up without wasting a second.

“you care that much about the idiot?”

“who’s the one getting him medication and water?”

there was silence in the kitchen and zoro stormed out of there with a pissed off look on his face. then he stomped over to the dorms and forced the pill down [name]’s throat, as well as big gulps of water. [name], surprisingly, didn’t complain all that much. only going limp against the hammock once zoro was done. and just as the swordsman was going to leave, [name]’s hand grabbed ahold of his pant leg.

“let go,” zoro commanded, tugging his leg to get [name]’s grip free.

“stay, look at the moon with me, zoro,”

“we’re-” zoro cut himself off, finding the words he wanted to say die in the back of his throat. what he wanted to say was, that there was no moon in sight from the inside of the dormitory.

but just as he was going to, [name]’s hand pointed upward at the ceiling, a blissful smile on his face, “right there,”

now usually, zoro would have said something along the lines of, “you delusional fuck, that’s the wood ceiling,”

but, again, the words died at the back of his throat. instead, he found himself taking a rest in the hammock beside [name]’s and looking at the ceiling.

“yep, the cheese moon is definitely something,” he drawled out, crossing his arms over his chest.

“hehe, thanks, zoro,” [name] smiled, eyes still shut as he was going in and out of sleep, “for drinking with me.”

”yeah, it’s never happening again so cherish this memory,” zoro sarcastically bit back, a mocking look on his face — one that [name] didn’t even see as he was still in a sleepy state.

but even though [name]’s eyes were shut and a blissful look was on his face, zoro was wide awake and left expectingly staring at the other man. and when he caught himself staring, he turned his head to the side immediately and rolled his eyes.

“idiot,” was whispered into the air as he tried to will himself to sleep, body still turned away from [name]’s. “fucking idiot.”

nami - hit different by sza

“man, i get more in love with you each argument. something wrong with me, i like the way you screw your face up, trigger me right when i need it. you wrong, but i can’t get along without you. it’s a shame and i can’t blame myself, keep on loving you. you do it different. all that i know is, mirrors inside of me — they recognize you. please, don’t deny me”

onlookers were watching the two on the street with terrified expressions.

“quit being unreasonable, [name]!”

“but i’m not, nami,” he drawled her name out, a teasing tone evident in his voice.

the townspeople all flinched at his response, finding him courageous for walking such a thin line in front of someone that was so obviously angered.

[ a couple minutes before ]

[name] and nami were exploring the town, walking side by side and paying attention to all the vendors that interested them. [name] already had some shopping bags in his hands, courtesy of nami’s spending habits, but wasn’t complaining at all.

she would drag him every which way and he wouldn’t say a single complaint. he was in a pretty good mood, so he wasn’t going to drag anyone else’s mood down either, even if he didn’t appreciate being treated like a ragdoll of some sort.

“oooh, do you think usopp would like this?” nami asks, pointing to a patterned bandana inside one of the shops, “i want to pay him back for making the climatact for me,”

“i think he likes neutral colors more, though,” he commented, looking over the options and seeing a more earth-toned bandana.

“really? i feel like he likes colorful things more, radiates his energy anyway…” [name] almost cooed at the underlying compliment nami had given the sniper, before a tick mark appeared on her forehead and she sneered, “loud, annoying, and in your face. maybe we shouldn’t even get him anything! he really did screw me over in alabasta with all those flimsy tricks!”

he rubbed up and down her back to calm her down, “it got the job done, though, so it’s alright. let’s get him one of each then, i’ll pay,” she batted her eyelashes at him, her angry demeanor washing away instantly as she purred about how much of a gentleman he was (she just didn’t want to pay and was trying to gas him up so that he would pay for more things on their shopping spree).

“shut up, i see through your tactics, nami,” he said, lightly flicking her forehead before waltzing into the shop and making a beeline straight to the attendant. she waited outside of the store, smiling to herself as she was not paying for the gift herself.

and she wasn’t standing by herself for long, but in the minutes of [name] being gone, a man had approached her. immediately she grimaced at the sight of him, but he only reacted with a smile to the look on her face.

“sorry for bothering you, miss, but i couldn’t help but notice how beautiful you are-”

“not interested,” she sighed, already wondering when [name] would come back.

“i was wondering if you would be interested in going to dinner with me?”

“i already said not interested,” she repeated, tapping her foot in annoyance.

“are you waiting for someone?”

“yeah, i am actually,” she pointed her finger to the store, “he’s buying something for me and a friend right now,”

“his own money, darling? because i can assure you i have more than whatever he has,” in a way of showing off, he had pulled a thick wallet from his pant pocket. now, nami was not at all interested in the man, but rather the thick wad of beri that was resting in his leather wallet.

just as she was about to try out some of her old techniques in snatching the man’s wallet, the sound of the door behind her opening was heard.

“huh? nami, who’s this?” [name] asked, eyes already narrowed as he looked down at the much shorter man. nami elbowed him in the stomach for interrupting her process, looking up at him and sneering in his direction.

“oh, no one, he was just making small talk, weren’t you?” she directed her eyes to the stranger, trying to convey with her expression to go along with what she was saying.

“well, he can make small talk with someone else,” [name] said, cutting off any excuse the stranger would have also made to stay longer. he motioned for them to leave, looking solely at nami so that she could focus on him and not the stranger.

and with his intimidating e/c eyes now looking at her, she almost caved. but then she caught a glimpse of the wallet and remained steadfast. she wished [name] could read her mind so that he would let her do what she needed to do.

“[name], just go back to merry,” she said in a sweet tone, hoping that that would convince him.

but he was stubborn, obviously.

“yeah, man, go back to merry,” the guy chimed in, making nami internally groan at what men would do to stroke their own ego. and of course, now [name] would definitely not go back to merry after that guy told him to.

“oh, isn’t the lil man a bit demanding?” [name] teased, looking at the shorter male and faking a pout, “why the fuck do you think you have the right to tell me what to do?”

“quit being unreasonable, [name],” nami sighed, feeling her anger beginning to

“oh, but i’m not, nami.” the same tone he used on the man was now being used on her and it made her even more annoyed.

“come no, [name] can’t you see-”

“that you want this guy’s wallet? yeah.”

the man flinched at the quick comment, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. but before he could even react, [name] swiped him across the face and caught his wallet before he could even hit the ground. then he grabbed nami’s hand and began running with her away from the commotion he had caused.

“hey! get that guy! he just punched the mayor!”

“that was the mayor?!” [name] shouted out in a slight panic.

“[name]! what the hell!? why couldn’t you just let me handle it?!”

“he was pissing me off!”

“typical man behavior — you’re pissed off so you go punching everything and everyone!”

“i punched one person!”

“yeah and that one person was the mayor!”

“well, i got his wallet, shouldn’t you be rejoicing?!”

“oh yeah, thanks for doing what i could’ve done with ease in such a terrible way that now we are running from the angry townspeople!” nami shouted, pulling on his ear and dragging her down to her height and making them turn a corner to hide from the crowd.

he was leaning down so that his ear wasn’t being completely ripped off, wincing in pain.

“this is why you should’ve just gone to merry, i would’ve had that wallet in under ten minutes without the violence,” nami scolded, turning silent when a crowd of angry civilians ran past them.

[name] only spoke up when he was sure that the coast was clear, freeing himself from nami’s aggressive grip.

“i wanted to punch him in the face anyway, it was a win-win situation!”

“really? you think this is a win-win situation right now?” nami asked, her voice becoming louder with the more annoyed she was getting.

“uhm, yeah, we have the wallet and i got to punch him,” [name] shrugged, a very relaxed look on his face. “shouldn’t you be rejoicing over this right now?”

“ugh, now we have to rush off of this island, or else they’re gonna eventually catch on,” nami thought out loud, ignoring [name]’s question.

“we are pirates anyway nami, they would’ve kicked us off of the island sooner or later,” he said, bringing his arm up to rest on the wall behind her, leaning into it. he peered down at her with a grin, not at all bothered by the state they were in.

nami crossed her hands over her chest and looked to the side as she thought about how they’d even get to merry without attracting the crowd. the island was small and they were bound to bump into some civilian on the way back. noticing how lost in thought she was in, [name] sighed and pinched her side.

this made her snap her head in his direction with a glare, “are you mad at me?” he asked, making her run her hand down his face.

“what do you think, idiot?”

“no?” he wistfully asked, grinning into her palm as he felt her fight the urge to squeeze his face with all her strength.

“just shut up and let me think,” she began to trying to remember where the rest of the crew was. at least this stop was planned to be quick to begin with or else she would be fuming at [name] right now.

“c’mon, don’t be mad at me, nami,” he whined like a kid, only making her more distracted from her rational thinking.

“you’re only making me more mad,” she huffed, finally looking up at him and scowling at the face he was making. he was attempting puppy dog eyes towards her, but she just smooshed his face (again) with her hand and grabbed him by the wrist. “we have to go back and warn everyone,”

“yes, ma’am,” he obediently chimed in, walking with in a pep in step as he followed her.

their walk back included him humming his signature tune as she was trying to calm her anger towards [name] down. but as they walked back, she realized that her anger wasn’t as strong as she would have liked. she wishes that she could make [name] grovel at his feet and beg for forgiveness from her, for causing such a hinderance in their stop at this island, but the more she listened to his humming, the more her anger subsided.

annoying ass, she thought to herself, squeezing his wrist especially hard, knowing that it wouldn’t actually hurt him. he even had the audacity to giggle to himself after she had done that.

when they finally made it back to merry, she ordered him to get ready to set sail while making sure that everyone else was already on board.

“woah, nami, you look extra pissed, what’s going on?” usopp commented, lifting his goggles off of his eyes and putting down the trinket he was fiddling with.

“why don’t you ask that dumbass over there?” she sneered, making usopp shiver at the sheer annoyance in her voice. then he looked at [name], stomped over, and began stretching his cheeks.

“what did you do to make nami so mad?! y’know she’s just gonna get mad at us now!!”

“well, i didn’t make her mad on purpose!” [name] weakly defended, but usopp wasn’t having it. “some guy was being a creep so i punched him,”

nami’s eye twitched at the reminder while usopp’s soul slowly left his body.

”whatever! it doesn’t matter now! usopp, is everyone on board?!” nami said, making the sniper snap out of his stupor to quickly reply back to the enraged nami that everyone was present. “then tell them to get ready to set sail, we’re leaving now. i really don’t want to worry about a marine ship ambushing us…”

“yes, nami!!” he screamed, running off to follow her orders.

after successfully getting away from the island, [name] walked to the tangerine trees that were on top of merry and grabbed a handful from the delicate branches. as far as he knew, nami went to her cartography room to work in peace, but he wanted to extend some sort of apology to her for ruining their stop at the island.

he didn’t think it was all that big of a deal, but he could tell how annoyed she was at him. so he diligently and carefully peeled the skin away from the juicy fruit, throwing them to the garbage, and neatly plating the now naked tangerines on a nice dish.

when he got her door, he gently knocked and entered after a couple of seconds of silence. nami saw that it was him and immediately rolled her eyes, before seeing that he did not come empty handed.

“what is it?” she questioned, crossing her arms over her chest and swiveling her chair to face him. he stood in front of her, smiling gently as he presented the plate to her. she only looked up at him unimpressed.

“i wanted to say sorry, i admit that it was kind of dumb of me to cause a scene back there,” he scratched the back of his head awkwardly as he saw that she was still not impressed, “you were right about the whole thing. it was just annoying seeing his ego get stroked that high,”

she sighed, dropping her glare and grabbing the plate from him to take a slice.

“it’s whatever now, we are already on course to a nearby island where we can properly restock. it’s fine, [name],” she looked back at her sketched out maps, chewing and swallowing the tangerine with a pleasant smile on her face. “you even brought some tangerines, not that that immediately makes you not guilty, but at least you’re actually sorry.”

“of course i am, caused a lot of trouble for us and you,”

she waved her hand, “just forget about it,”

he grinned, taking a seat on the floor and leaning on one of the legs of the table, “we’ll forget about it?” he asked in a giddy tone, happy to be in her good grace’s again.

she hummed in confirmation, popping another slice in her mouth with a carefree grin. he was about to cheer at the fact, but then she cheekily added in, “for the price of 10,000 beri, i’ll even forgive you for the last time you pissed me off.”

he immediately deflated at the twist, “but i don’t even know when that was-”

“ah, ah, that’s not my problem, it’s completely optional if you even wanna pay that debt off — i’ll just add more interest the longer you don’t pay it back,”

“hey, that’s taking it too far,” he whined like a kicked puppy, but she didn’t falter.

“you wanna argue with me again?”

“don’t know it was kind of fun last time,”

“i’ll kick you,”

“that’s sanji’s forte, nami,” he teased, making her slap him upside the head. he only grinned, weakly rubbing the spot, “you love me anyway, you’d never kick me~”

there was a bout of silence and [name] almost snickered in amusement, until he felt the heel of her shoe dig into his thigh. making him yelp in pain instead of giggling.

”whatever helps you sleep at night, [name]~” she said in the same tone that he used, a mocking grin on her face as he writhed in pain.

she wasn’t actually mad at him, she also didn’t even jab her heel into his leg that hard — he was purposely exaggerating to make her laugh some more. she found it endearing, sort of, and simply watched in amusement as he whined about the “never-ending” pain in his leg.

usopp - pressure by the 1975

“you’ve seen so many faces that i’ve never seen before. i left an unrewarding message telling you to come. overdramatic, automatically assume i’ll stay the same. there’s a change in pressure. we’re never gonna lie to you. my broken veins say that if my heart stops beating, we’ll bleed the same way.”

usopp was rather intimidated by [name]. similar to how chopper is, however, usopp had never gotten over this irrational fear and intimidation, yet. but it’s not the fear of “what will [name] do to us? will he betray us?” not that kind of fear. it’s more so the fear of being replaced and the fact that [name] could easily fill his space on the ship and do so much more than usopp could.

that’s what his doubts, worried, and voices in his head say at least. put himself down and uplift [name] in the same sentence. it’s a dangerous combination.

what usopp doesn’t know is that, [name] is rather envious of the sniper. he often watches the man and feels how deeply and dearly he wishes he could live life as usopp does. there is just something so envious about how usopp lives. while the sniper may think that he lives his life in fear and in a cowardice way, [name] thinks the opposite.

usopp is very brave, in his eyes. he thinks that usopp is also really selfless. qualities that [name] wishes he had. even on top of that, there are so many ways [name] wishes he was like usopp.

it’s ironic. how usopp beats himself up and wishes he were more like [name], the man himself wishes he were more like usopp.

“don’t you think your experience out on the sea gives you an advantage?” usopp asks, his eyes blown wide as he had heard [name] sincerely confess his envious emotions to the man. he didn’t believe him. how could he? when something as outlandish as the highly wanted man, figure of power ad intimidating, says to him — usopp — how jealous he is of how he lives. it already sounds like a terrible joke and an even worse lie.

“i guess, but that’s not what i’m talking about,” [name] leans forward and points his finger into usopp’s chest, “i’ve lost my heart, usopp, that’s what i mean.”

usopp blinks a couple of times, trying to process the words, but he can’t seem to understand what [name] means. he was a kind man, [name] has shown this ever since usopp has known him. despite the hostility he faced on board merry when they all first met, there was never an ounce of that being repaid to the rest of the crew. he just took the brash attitude with a smile and nod of his head.

“i don’t think it’s entirely my fault, i guess,” [name] continues on, lifting his finger off of usopp’s chest, “environment shapes a person and all…but there was definitely a line i had crossed on my own a long time ago that makes it so you can’t turn back, y’know?” usopp doesn’t respond because he doesn’t know how to.

“usopp, you’re a kind person, very kind. and i’m jealous of how far that kindness stretches. i can only throw my emotions so far before they snap,” he laughs as if what he had said was funny, but it really was a pitiful action. he didn’t think it was funny how cold and devoid of basic human understanding he has become. he thinks its sad…

and usopp still doesn’t completely understand. if he were in [name]’s position, to be so strong and so capable on his own, he’d be the happiest and most fulfilled man alive. to usopp, the answer to all of his problems is to become stronger and stronger until he is simply the strongest. of course, he sees that as impossible. mainly due to [name]’s existence reminding him that there are stronger people out there.

which is why usopp can’t understand what [name] means.

[name], the strong and feared by many pirate, could easily have the world in the palm of his hands with the amount of power he wields. and by that logic, he should feel like he is the most accomplished man. things like emotion wouldn’t really be the biggest deal, wouldn’t it? not when you have such an influence on the people around you due to your strength, right?

“i don’t understand…” usopp says softly, still trying to really wrap his head around it, “you’re stronger than me, isn’t that more important than whatever quality i have?”

[name] laughs, this time usopp can’t tell where it stems from. pity? genuine moment of happiness? stupor?

“you’d rather be strong instead of kind? i don’t think that’s true, usopp,” [name] says, wiping a tear from his laughter from the corner of his eye, “what i had to do to reach this point, you wouldn’t want that for yourself, even if it makes you strong. i want what you have, though, genuine courage and bravery.”

usopp almost sputtered out a laugh at that, thinking that [name] was just playing a joke on him. but with how serious [name] had become, it was clear that the man was not kidding.

“i think you’re brave, usopp, it makes me jealous. i wish i had as many capabilities that you had,” [name] sighs, resting his cheek in his palm, “it’d make life simpler. i wouldn’t have to worry about such stupid things, the stuff going on up here,” he tapes the side of his temple, “they’d all disappear in a moment’s notice. i think about too much. being strong doesn’t mean all of your problems are solved, y’know?”

“i don’t believe that,” usopp says firmly, shaking his head, “if i were stronger from the get go, many things would have been different. and i don’t mean any metaphorical stuff, no, i mean if i were as physically and mentally capable as you — my life would have changed for the better!”

usopp thinks about his hometown, what he could have done for the people there if he were more mature and strong, like [name] was, if he held himself differently, all that could have changed. to think that [name] would call what strength he had a burden, or insinuate it as one, was kind of annoying. usopp would do anything to be as strong as [name].

“well, if two opposites ends of the spectrum talk about the same thing, there would obviously be differing opinions. but i truly don’t think striving for that physical strength is worth that time and effort of yours, usopp. it’s good to be strong, yeah, but…overdoing it shouldn’t be the goal,” [name] advises, “besides, i think you’re fine as you are right now.”

“but there’s so much i could improve on,” a list sprouts in usopp’s head immediately.

“you are your own worst critic, of course there is so much you think you could improve on. but by focusing so much on that, you’re not highlighting your already existing strengths,” [name] looks disappointed as he speaks, petting his hair down on usopp’s bandana, “instead of trying to mimic or compare yourself to others, your practice should be more self-centered.”

usopp was going to emphasize there was nothing particularly interesting about how he currently was, but something was telling him that [name] wouldn’t allow such a critique to slide in his presence. usopp had never been able to see such a side of [name]. it was stern and strict, kind of intimidating, but there was definitely an undertone of nothing but care in his voice. he genuinely cared about how usopp viewed himself and his “strengths.” it made usopp almost turn into mush.

to think someone as strong as [name] cared about him so deeply. in his mind, someone of his capabilities shouldn’t even worry about him. what’s the saying? no one intentionally steps on bugs, it just happens? whatever, usopp thinks to himself, not being able to come up with the exact phrasing. you get what he means! he just never thought he was capable of even crossing [name]’s mind.

but, as he had just found out, it seems [name] thinks about him quite often. it’s flattering, but usopp reminds himself to not grow an ego out of nothing.

“we stand on equal ground, at the end of the day,” [name] says, a sense of finality in his voice, “we are all here for the same one or two reasons. to see luffy become the pirate king and achieve our own personal goals. that’s what we are all here for, on merry. i feel like we always overlook that simple fact. i tend to forget sometimes, too, but ground yourself, usopp. i understand why you would want to become stronger, i really do…but like i said, you’ll only hurt yourself overdoing it,”

“also, i don’t need you to be the strongest. i just need you to be there for luffy,” [name] added in, not hesitating as he spoke, “luffy doesn’t need the absolute strongest people on his crew, he needs support and his friends. if you’re already doing that, usopp, there really isn’t much else that’s to be expected of you. that goes for all of us.”

and with a firm slap on his shoulder, [name] walks away from the conversation with nothing but hope in how he might’ve been able to change usopp’s point of view. there’s no way of knowing for sure if it was successful.

“don’t need to be the strongest?” usopp thought out loud, looking out at the sea of thinking of his original dream from when he first joined luffy’s ship. he wants to be the bravest warrior on the sea…huh, he never realized it, but the word strongest wasn’t the one he was originally thinking of when he set out to sea.

after talking to [name], in an uncharacteristically serious conversation, it felt as if there was a weight lifted off of usopp’s shoulders. the change in pressure was noticeable and usopp really did feel lighter. he didn’t expect his talk with you to play out this way, but he wasn’t complaining. it was eye opening, but not in the way he imagined. he thought that he was going to get an ugly slap of reality; someone of your prowess going to tell him the hard truth that there was no room for weak people in the world, you were going to have carry his dead weight — something like that. but it never came.

instead you simply comforted him, but still gave him a hard pill to swallow. being strong wasn’t as important as he thought it was. perhaps it was because usopp had thought himself to be weak since he was young and you — granted he didn’t know your situation perfectly, but he could assume you were strong since you were young — who had been so capable since you were young. such different experiences, which si what made him feel so much whiplash after your conversation.

but he’s thankful. because he truly does feel relief in this moment. to know you value him and see him for who he is despite his lack in physical or battle strength. he likes knowing that, enjoys knowing that he is needed despite his flaws. he never knew he’d feel such sentiments from you, but he’s glad he sought out this conversation.

he experienced a significant change in pressure and he was lighter than ever.

sanji - moonlight on the river by mac demarco

“it’s so strange, deciding how i feel about you. it ain’t like, i ain’t used to going on without you. i’m home, with moonlight on the river, saying my goodbyes.”

the sound of a lighter flicking on could be heard echoing on the empty street. sanji’s lips were pursed around his cigarette, holding it steady as his hand was cupped around the end he was trying to light. [name] was too busy watching a family of ducks swim across the river they were walking along to realize that sanji was holding the now lit cigarette for him.

“oh, thanks,” [name] said, taking it into his fingertips and helping himself to the unhealthy treat. he kept it in his fingertips for as long as possible, sadly watching as sanji took it from him after a couple of seconds.

“why’re you always pouting? it’s an annoying look,” sanji grunted, moving the cigarette to the corner of his mouth so he could properly talk.

“cause i want it and you always end up hogging it,”

“well, who’s the one buying them, dipshit,” sanji scowled, taking teh cigarette from his mouth and forcing it into [name]’s, “you and luffy really have that in common, y’know? it’s like you two were born to complain,”

[name] grinned at the mention of luffy before realizing that sanji had just insulted him, making him smack him on the back of his head, “what a polite chef you are!”

“only to the women,” sanji said with pride, a grin on his face.

the two were walking along the river, late at night, just to get a breather from merry. nami had recently complained about the smell of smoke lingering far too long for her liking, so sanji had made it a habit to smoke as often as possible not on board merry. [name] invited himself on these walks, which sanji honestly didn’t mind. the company wasn’t actually that annoying and it was comforting, he guesses.

[name] and him would walk along through the town, making it back to merry in an hour or two and get a good night’s rest. sometimes, they’d even shower at the same time to speed up the process, but that’s a story for another time.

“do you like the taste of it?” sanji asked, breaking the silence. he watched carefully as [name] inhaled and blew out the smoke, the man turning to look at sanji in confusion, “the cigarette - do you like the taste of it?”

“what an odd question,” [name] said with his head slightly tilted.

“you have one of the most sensitive tongues on merry, it was just out of curiosity,” sanji noted, pointing out an obvious fact and why he drew that connection in the first place. this made the other make a sound of realization and nod his head in understanding.

“oh, well, not really? but also i don’t mind it…it’s not the worst thing i’ve ever had,” [name] said with a grin, taking another drag before flicking off the ash that built up at the tip.

“yeah, you and your hatred for sweets is a real pain,” sanji swiped the cigarette, “everyone else likes them and i got to prepare you your own batch,”

sanji didn’t really find it annoying or bothersome, truthfully. if anything, he found it quite exciting. challenging his knowledge on what would be palatable on someone that was picky on stuff like desserts, it was fun. getting to create new recipe and have the perfect tester there to show whether or not the bitter food was good or not.

but sanji would rather drop dead than admit any of that out loud. [name] didn’t need to know all those embarrassing things.

“you never have to, y’know? i can live without those dishes,” [name] said in a carefree manner. that made an angry tick mark appear on sanji’s forehead.

“oh, so your saying that my efforts are wasted? you’re gonna insult me, as a chef, just like that? don’t piss me off,” sanji sneered, covering up his true thoughts with outward hostility instead.

“haha, sorry, sorry,” [name] said waving his hand, obviously not taking sanji’s threats or tone of voice serious as he had a cheerful look on his face.

“why do you hate them so much? i mean, you practically vomited that one time you accidentally ate one,” sanji mumbled, more-so thinking out loud than actually looking for an answer, “luffy even knew about it, and if that idiot knows something is important enough to actually stick, then it must be something you’ve always disliked as a kid,”

there was silence as [name] took the cigarette from sanji and kept a hold on it, “hm, yeah, i guess i’ve always just hated sweets as a kid and i never grew out of it. it just isn’t my cup of tea,” a tight smile was on his face as he explained, “but if that’s the only thing left to eat and i’m starving, i’ll force it down! i also hate wasting food,”

slightly shocked at the confession, sanji peeked a look at [name] from the side, shaking his head in disbelief at how carefree [name] was talking about something so personal, and seemingly, sensitive.

“you won’t go starving anytime soon,” sanji spoke after a couple moments of silence, “somehow you manage to get your fill in with our captain’s big appetite, so i think you’ll really be fine,”

“if you think so,” [name] shrugged, still holding the cigarette between his long fingers. “i just don’t like them at all, the after affects of being hyper and all that, too. i don’t need that type of high-alert energy, y’know?”

the chef supposed he could understand. well, personally, he didn’t mind sweets and definitely wouldn’t turn down a perfectly fine dish simply because it was sweet. but he understands preferences, he was a chef at a restaurant where he got to see all different people walk through the doors.

sanji didn’t mind catering to [name]’s unique tastebuds, as he’s mentioned before.

another bout of silence washed over the two. another cigarette was bumped out of the carton, this time, [name] taking it to light. sanji held the lighter to the tip, watching carefully to see when he could pull away. his head was craned upwards to look at the cigarette hanging off of [name]’s lips.

“what about that tattoo on your back? where’s that from?”

[name] blinked at the question, smiling softly, “you’re awfully talkative tonight,” just as sanji was about to snap at him for saying something like that, he added in, “it’s nice, i like getting to talk on these walks of ours. feels real special.” a cloud of smoke followed his explanation and sanji ducked his head down to hide facial expression.

“i got it a long time ago, just when i was a teenager,” [name] mulled in thought, trying to recall the memory, “i got it a couple islands over from me and luffy’s home. they’re supposed to symbolize freedom…it sounds silly, but i really do believe that wings are what bring us freedom,” [name] looked up at the sky and smiled, “closer to up there is closer to freedom, i guess.”

“what? like some god?”

[name] scoffed, shaking his head, “hell no, just to the ones that watch over us, i guess. those you hold dear that…” his voice trailed off and he cleared his throat to stop himself from saying anymore.

sanji took in his words in silence.

“you get closer to them, you get closer to showing them how much you’ve accomplished. i don’t know, it’s nice to think about, and guides morals, i guess,” sanji remained silent the entire time, looking up at the sky with a conflicted expression.

the moon was shining bright on the both of them, refracting from every surface of the water and lighting up the area around them.

“that’s your idea of freedom?” sanji asked, pointing a lazy finger at the sky.

“i guess, i don’t really know. it could just be that i like the way it sounds,” [name] grinned, feeling mischievous as he spoke.

sanji made a sound that showed he was irked, unable to believe that the man who said something so sentimental was just as childish.

“what about you sanji? your idea of freedom?” [name] asked, taking the cigarette in his fingertips.

“i don’t know, i don’t think about that stuff half as much as you or luffy do,” sanji shrugged, “i don’t think my freedom will be compromised anytime soon, so it’s not something i have to worry about in keeping secure.”

[name] hummed in understanding. more silence before he spoke again, “and what about the ones you care about, what about their freedom?”

“if you’re talking about the crew, that’s a dumb question. do you really doubt everyone that much? think that they can’t protect themselves and their own freedom? their own dreams?” sanji was obviously defensive, an offended look on his face as he surveyed [name].

“no, it’s not like that,” [name] interjected, “you just don’t think about others that much?”

“don’t make it sound like i’m a selfish prick because i’m not,” sanji huffs, getting annoying with [name]’s wording and whatever his intentions were.

“i’m not saying that either. just because you think more about yourself than others doesn’t mean you’re a selfish prick. it was just a question, sanji,” [name] calmly responded, finding no reason to get angry with sanji for his attitude.

the two were capable of having a conversation without yelling directly at each other, shocker.

“it’s good to know what you want, it’s good to think about that — self-reflection or something,” [name] said, as calm as he was before, “it’s good to know how far you’re willing to go, to step up when the time comes. you know what i mean?”

sanji rolled his eyes, finding [name]’s tone aggravating, but decided not to comment on it. instead he snatched his cigarette back, “this type of conversation doesn’t suit a guy like you, it’s way too serious and complex,”

“i’m the one who initiated it, give me some more credit,” [name] whined, slapping sanji’s back as a means of defending himself, “i’m not an idiot.”

“really?” sanji deadpanned, almost laughing at the way [name] glared at him with such venom.

“what?! hey, i was the one trying to have a mature conversation with you and you’re the one who blew up on me, so who’s the more immature one,” [name] called out, pulling the bottom of his eyelid down in a taunting manner.

“i’m not immature, you were just asking some real dumb questions! of course i think about how to protect the crew if the time ever comes, but i don’t ever doubt them! isn’t that obvious? haven’t we sailed together long enough for this to be obvious to you?” sanji questioned, tone sharp as it was now his turn to interrogate [name].

the taller man hummed, “i suppose you’re right, i don’t know why i doubted you.”

“shit for brains,”

“thanks for being so reliable, sanji,” [name] smiled, throwing an arm around sanji’s shoulder with a wide grin on his face, “i know i can trust you. you know that, right?”

“whatever,” sanji said, uncharacteristically quiet as his shoulders and head slumped downward, hiding his facial expressions from [name].

“i mean it! you’re the strongest on merry, of course after me, oh and after luffy…hm, and i guess after zoro!” [name] said that last part in a rush, knowing it’d cause sanji to run after him in a fury. but before he detached himself from sanji’s side, he took the cigarette from him and pushed it to the corner of his mouth.

sanji processed his words, watching as [name] was running off in the direction of merry. then it clicked and he was fuming. his eyebrow became slanted as he pointed a finger at [name]’s running figure, “oi! come back here you dipshit! i’ll kick some manners into you! fucking imbecile!”

[name]’s laughter echoed in the air, along with sanji’s shouts of fury. the trail of smoke coming from the cigarette in the h/c haired man’s mouth disappearing into the night as sanji continued chasing [name] until they arrived on merry.

the blonde watched as [name] jumped onto the ship with easy, throwing the cigarette into the ocean, and teasing him once more by sticking his tongue out. then he was disappearing on deck, probably to the bathroom to shower before bed.

and sanji was breathing heavily as he watched, still on the ground and not on the ship. and he sighed to himself, putting a hand to his chest to calm his breathing. as well as racing heart. the other hand went up to his face, covering half of it as he mentally scolded himself to calm down.

god, [name] really did exhaust the hell out of sanji. in more ways than one.

tony tony chopper - forrest gump by frank ocean

“you run my mind, boy. running on my mind, boy. forrest gump. i know you, forrest. i know you wouldn’t hurt a beetle. but you’re so buff and so strong. i’m nervous, forrest. // forrest green, forrest blues. i’m remembering you. if this is love, i know it’s true. i won’t forget you. it’s for you, forrest. it’s for you forrest. forrest gump.”

chopper idolized [name], to put it very simply. from their first meeting, [name] had made a strong impression on the boy. first off, he knew he was a reindeer and correctly addressed him, which chopper learned would be a rare occurence since people seemed to think he was some sort of raccoon dog…

and ever since that moment, [name] had only shown chopper how strong and capable he was. sometimes, it makes the doctor feel inferior and not an adequate member of the straw hats because of the strength difference, but those feelings were truly rare. because [name] made sure to treat chopper as an equal as well as a friend, not someone beneath him.

chopper was currently lounging on the railway of merry, near the back of the ship and simply enjoying the breeze. it was a nice day outside and the smell of the sea was something he could never get tired of.

“chopper? what’re you doing?” [name] voice made chopper lift his head from the planks and offer a cheesy grin.

“just relaxing,” [name] smiled at the response, plopping down next to chopper and spreading his long limbs out as he sighed in content.

“do you mind if i join you?”

chopper shook his head, a smile on his face as he watched [name] visibly relax and get comfortable next to him.

“the sun’s not bothering you? it’s pretty hot, y’know,” [name] commented, waving his hand to fan the reindeer, who merely shook his head.

“nope, cause the sea breeze is cooling me off,” chopper explained, making [name] hum in understanding. chopper watched as [name] flapped the bottom of his shirt up and down to allow more air flow, showing that he was affected by the heat.

chopper remained silent, eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly before he decided to not ask the question that was on his mind. as a doctor, he had a hunch as to why [name] was so sensitive to hot and cold weather, especially since their first meeting on drum island. but it was just speculation and theory. he never got a clear answer from [name]. but, then again, chopper never asked.

honestly, he was very curious about [name]. he was like a medical anomaly. dr. kureha and him were probably the only people that knew about how strange his existence was. well, chopper definitely was way more shocked about his being, but dr. kureha simply shrugged it off. this made chopper believe [name]’s case wasn’t all that crazy…

but the more he thinks about it, the more it pesters him. how is something like that even possible?

just as he was drowning in his thoughts, there was a sudden pressure against his nose. he blinks, eyes zoning in on the finger that was pressing against him. he looks up, finding a grinning [name] already staring at him.

“what were you thinking about? i could practically see steam coming from your head, chopper,” his own observation made him chuckle and chopper smiled sheepishly at being caught.

“nothing,” chopper clears his throat a couple of times before speaking again, “say, [name]?” a hum from the man he was addressing, “you’ve been a pirate for a long time right?”

e/c eyes stray away and stare out at the sea before he nods in confirmation.

“then, have you ever met anyone stronger than you? what was the craziest thing you’ve ever seen?”

[name] chuckles at the question, pursing his lips, “what’s up with everyone wondering about strong people and things? i swear, you and usopp are obsessed with that type of stuff,” it wasn’t a mean comment, the fond smile on [name]’s face made that obvious, but chopper still felt his face get warm in embarrassment.

“ever since we’ve left my island, i feel like we haven’t met anyone that exceeded you. that’s why i was wondering if before you joined luffy’s crew you had a run in with someone stronger than you,” chopper explained, feeling shy. “even in alabasta, you didn’t have a lot of trouble with the people we were facing…i didn’t see any fights! but, everyone was so badly injured, and then you were only injured because of the whole falling out of the sky thing,”

[name] laughs at the memory, scratching his neck, “that’s true, i guess. but to answer your question, there are many physically stronger people than me, without a doubt. but i still think i’m the strongest,” he’s confident and chopper can tell the man truly does believe that. it’s obvious in the way he speaks and carries himself. but what he just said was directly contradictory, wasn’t it?

“the craziest thing i’d ever seen…” [name] thinks out loud, making chopper look at him in wonder, “a guy that could control everything in a certain radius! he was a doctor like you, actually. when i first met him, it was kind of scary,”

“woah!!” chopper’s eyes immediately sprouted stars and [name] almost cooed at the sight. sometimes the man forgets how unique his experiences are, especially to someone like chopper. someone that had known only his island and that was it. “did you guys fight?! was he also another pirate?!”

“he’s another pirate, yeah, but…well, i don’t think you can call what happened fighting since i beat him up!” [name] flashed his widest grin at chopper and threw up a thumbs up.

“so cool!!!” chopper exclaimed, clapping his hands.

“i have a lot of stories, if you want to hear them?” [name] offers, stretching his long limbs out and letting out a groan at the relief.

“how about fights and stuff? i wanna see you fight some day!” the stars in chopper’s eyes seemed as if they were going to never go away as he giddily spoke to [name].

“i don’t know…most of them are really lack luster,” [name] sweatdrops, watching as chopper visibly deflates, “but that’s only because i beat everyone before they even had a chance,” and he was back to having stars in his eyes.

“woah!! so cool!!” chopper’s hooves were glasped together as he eagerly waiting for more stories.

“by the time luffy becomes pirate king, chopper, you’re going to have so many more stories than i do,” [name] comments fondly, “i never got to properly thank you, i think,”

“what for?”

“for not telling anyone about,” [name] gestures to his scars, a grin on his face despite the sad reality of his appearance, “i appreciate it,”

chopper only nodded, remembering the first time him and dr. kureha discovered the markings as well as their origins…or at least their theories on where they had come from.

”were you scared when you saw them? why do you look so scared now?”

the poor reindeer flinched at the question causing [name] to start laughing at the reaction. chopper flailed in explaining himself, not wanting to offend the man, “no, i was just, just remembering! the first time i saw them! and no, i wasn’t scared! there was no reason to be scared,” chopper’s voice trailed off as he realized that [name] was only teasing him earlier, looking off to the side to avert his eyes.

“if you say so,” [name] continues on teasing, poking the reindeer’s blue nose to which chopper smacks his hand away.

“me and dr. kureha were studying them,” chopper murmurs, “whoever had done the stitches, considering how miniscule they are, obviously did a good job. but…how were they even able to get the me-”

“pft, that’s not important,” [name] says with a carefree smile, waving his hand, “well, you’re right, the person who did them was a reaaalll professional, but i don’t think it’s important in explaining how or why,”

“was it the pirate you mentioned earlier that did them?” chopper curiously asked.

“definitely not,” [name] laughed, trying to imagine his friend being the one to give him those scars, “no, i’ve had these for a long time, chopper. which is why it’s not really relevant to me in talking about them. it doesn’t matter to me anymore, but i still don’t want people knowing so — shhh!”

chopper blinks a couple of time before nodding his head, “i’ll keep it a secret, [name],”

“thanks, chopper, i know i can trust you,” as [name] reaches out to pat chopper on his furry back, the light hit his silver necklace so perfectly that it made chopper cover his eyes to hide from the shine. that was also a big deal to [name] back then, but it was something that probably had heavy sentimental meaning.

either way, chopper was going to keep everything [name] had just told him a secret.

seeing the pleased and relaxed expression on [name]’s face, chopper was glad to know he had some sort of impact on him. it made him especially happy to know it caused a positive reaction from [name]. for how much the man does for the crew and chopper, such as dealing with his “scaredy cat” antics, the reindeer was happy to somewhat return the favor — even if it was miniscule.

meanwhile, in the back of [name]’s mind, he couldn’t help but feel a dark looming feeling only grow larger. he fought back the urge to frown, reminding himself on how understanding and sweet chopper was for keeping his secret safe. but, deep down, he was plagued with the truth and it stressed him to no end to think about the one day his secrets would have to be laid out for all the other straw hats to know too. even now, chopper didn’t even know the full truth and it was already stressing him out.

but, [name] would deal with that when the time came for it. right now, he was just happy to be looking out at the sea with his dear crew mate next to him.

nico robin - wurli by dominic fike

“stepping outside for you, then i put links on both wrists cause you got control over me. and you got jokes like you don’t need love, baby. we don’t need long. just follow my lead for once. i can never make up for the time. i’m gone make the wait all worth the ride.”

robin found [name] to be an interesting person to study.

a couple of years younger than her, a significant amount, actually, and still holding onto such a heavy weight of trauma and relatability to her. she smiles softly each time she thinks about him for too long. it’s a sad smile. on one hand, she’s happy that there could possibly be someone in her presence that could understand where she comes from as well as understanding her secrets.

but it pains her to know that someone so similar, with such similarly lived experiences, is beside her side. she wouldn’t wish a fraction of her life onto anyone else, to know that [name] undoubtedly had more than a fraction of it was heart breaking.

to many people’s surprise, nico robin is an extremely sentimental and emotional person. she has just simply forced herself to suppress those attributes of herself due to the world she lives in. but she knows herself, she knows that one of her weak point could be her emotional side.

he’s a grown man, she tells herself, to prevent herself from pitying the man too much, especially because she knows he would not appreciate a feeling of pity from anyone.

“do you want a cup of coffee, robin?” his soothing voice breaks her out of her daydreaming, collecting herself fast enough that she is able to answer with a quick nod and soft thank you. “no problem~”

she watches him expertly maneuver through the kitchen, an obvious sense of comfortability around him as he does.

what robin doesn’t know is that in the same way she finds [name] interesting to study, he feels an immense sense of wonderment and curiosity for the older woman. he knows that behind luffy, she is the only crew member that knows the most about him — beyond the headlines and bounty on his head. the other straw hats had their first impressions of him already set in stone, and he can’t blame them for that, but robin is different.

she had undoubtedly knows more than she currently lets on. only hinting to it briefly before, as far as [name] can recall.

he wonders if she has the wrong idea about him. but then he thinks of her situation and finds it hard to believe she would believe only surface level information about him. he has more faith in her than that. frankly, he’s curious enough to ask her. but he’s too scared.

genuinely terrified to know what it is that she knows, how much of his past does she know and have full capabilities of telling others about. not that she would, but naturally [name] doesn’t like not being in control of what others know about him. he often thinks if its worth it to take that risk and just ask her, he’d probably get the answer he wants.

but, wouldn’t that just be awkward?

he shakes his head as he pours the water over the ground up coffee beans, stealing a couple of whole beans from the bag to his right and chewing on them, deep in thought. he carefully carries the two tea cups to the kitchen table, taking a comfortable seat across from her and sipping his beverage.

“what are you thinking about, [name]?”

“i don’t know,” he answers semi-honestly. he can’t actually tell her where his mind wanders, but what he was thinking about…he couldn’t even collect his thoughts properly.

she only hummed, leaving them to sit in silence. but then out of nowhere, [name] slammed his head onto the table and let out a loud groan. she blinked in shock, poking his shoulder several times across the table.

“are you alright, orphan-san?”

“don’t call me that,” he mutters against the table. “that just doesn’t even sound morally right,”

she laughed behind her hand, apologizing quickly, “well, the government was never one to give morally correct names to wanted pirates,”

“yeah, i’m familiar,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair, “devil’s child, cursed orphan…it’s all such a shit show over there,”

robin isn’t surprised when he brings up her own epithet, “after hearing my name, you knew right away, huh?”

he thinks back to after they had left alabasta, the moment of realization, and nods in confirmation. a name was all he needed to know the woman’s entire history. he frowned, remembering exactly what it was.

“yeah, we’re the same,” he says with zero hesitation. “robin, we have the same enemy, y’know?” she hums and nods, unsure of the direction he was taking the conversation, “so, you know you’re not alone in this.”

she paused, sipping her coffee to avoid looking at him. because if she, she knew his e/c eyes would be expectantly peering at her and waiting for some form of agreement. truthfully, she didn’t want to make some sort of known “alliance” with [name] on where they stood on their shared enemy.

she’d rather not involve him. even if it were partially true.

”i sailed alone on the seas for a long time, both recently and a while ago,” he continued on, leaning into his chair and looking up at the ceiling, “being alone is more painful than getting hurt, luffy said that to me once. and for once that idiot was right about something. that’s why i’m trying to tell you now that that’s not your case.”

“i appreciate the sentimen-”

“i don’t want to get too emotional and dig too deep on stuff about this, though. i think just saying it is enough, if you ever had doubts, y’know?” he suddenly stands up, an embarrassed look on his face, “this is definitely not my style, blegh, i hate getting sentimental out of nowhere,” he hunches his shoulders, his tongue hanging out of his mouth as he digests the situation he had just created.

she watches as he chugs the rest of his coffee down, places the empty cup into the sink, and easily walks out of the room. the kitchen door is softly shut behind him and robin is now left in silent stupor by herself.

she glances at the dark cup of coffee in front of her, smiling softly as she thinks about the man.

“he really is an enigma,” she muses to herself, finishing the last drops by herself, “knowing everything about him is like knowing nothing,”

[name] was on the forefront of her mind the rest of the day, studying him and the behaviors he had shown her the entire time they had been acquainted. he had turned what would have been a soppy, probably emotional conversation, into a curt and brisk one-sided pep talk. regardless, she still had much to think about how he interacted with the others on the crew. what his dynamic was with everyone. and the state of their relationship, even though they had only recently juts met…robin feels a strong connection with him.

he really was interesting to study.

ace - dress by taylor swift

“our secrets moments in a crowded room, they got no idea about me and you. there is an indentation in the shape of you, made your mark on me — a golden tattoo. pining and anticipation, my hands are shaking from holding back from you. all of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting, my hands are shaking from all this. say my name and everything just stops. i don’t want you like a best friend. only bought this suit so you could take it off. take it off. carve your name into my bedpost because i don’t want you like a best friend. // and i woke up just in time, now i wake up by your side. my one and only, my lifeline.”

“ace! c’mere,” [name] called out, making the ravenette’s head snap up and look for the man calling him. he briefly apologized to usopp, who was showing him a contraption he made, and then walked off in the direction of where the sound came from. usopp and chopper watched as ace was eagerly walking away, shrugging their shoulders at the man’s rush.

“[name]? where are yo-”

suddenly, a hang was coming out from around the corner and yanking ace by strands of his hat and into a soft embrace.

“wanna show you merry,” [name] whispered, smiling softly as he felt how warm ace was in his arms. “were you doing something important?”

“no,” ace answered instantly, looking up at [name] and taking off his hat. it was placed back onto [name]’s head and the two were walking through the ship, [name] leading.

their arms were looped with one another to stay close, and because [name] found the warmth from ace so comforting, and soon small talk spurred alive between the two.

“how is everyone treating you?” ace asked first, smirking as he watched [name]’s expression, “they’re all being good to you?”

the man rolled his eyes and shot ace a deadpan look, “why are you acting as if i am a kid and that they’re the scum of the earth? obviously everything is going fine, we’re a crew, ace,”

“sorry, can’t help but worry sometimes,” ace shrugged, tone light and teasing. “gotta look out for you when i can,”

“who said you had to do that?”

“i did, it’s my duty,”

“your duty is to keep yourself out of your own trouble, not worry about others. worrying about others like you do is gonna get you killed,” [name] advised, squeezing ace’s arm against his body and turning them into the dormitories. “well, i guess i’m a hypocrite — i worry about you a lot too,”

“you’re not gonna ask if my crew is treating me well though? that stings, [name],” ace fake winces, taking a seat into a hammock and letting it rock him back and forth.

“shut up,” [name] smirks, pushing ace down and climbing in next to him. ace tries his best to relax, not wanting to show that he was obviously freaking out at [name]’s actions. the h/c-haired man is none the wiser, simply getting comfortable against ace’s chest and hugging him tight.

“i missed you a lot, ace,” [name] speaks softly, like a whisper, “you fucking idiot, you should’ve just swallowed your pride and joined luffy��s crew,”

“or, you should’ve been smarter and joined the whitebeard pirates,” ace countered, resting his hand on top of [name]’s head.

“and leave the pirate king’s crew? don’t be dumb,” [name] shoots back, faithful to the idea of luffy being the pirate king.

ace can only scoff, a lazy smirk on his face. luffy, that brat, had truly shook their childhood selves when he declared what his dreams were as well as so confidently saying that he was going to be the king of pirates. and ace couldn’t believe that [name] so easily threw himself into luffy’s arms and crew, even when they were children.

ace envies luffy in that aspect, he supposes. how he was so capable of swaying [name]. if only ace had that ability, he’d have used it for his selfish leverage at this point. especially with [name] in his arms like this. if he had a fraction of an influence that luffy had, ace would have offered once again for [name] to join his side forever.

but knowing how devoted to luffy [name] was, ace knew it was useless.

so he’ll just cherish this moment now.

“ugh, i’m hot,” [name] groaned, sitting upright and throwing off the shirt that he was wearing. cuddling up next to a human oven was not for the weak!

ace watches with practical hearts in his eyes as he watches [name] move so fluidly in discarding his layers. then his hands reach out and lift the bottom of [name]’s shirt for him, the fabric falling from his fingers the second they weigh into his hand.

“thanks, ace,”

the ravenette can only hum in acknowledgement. he bites his lip, forcing himself into silence to not ruin the moment, and shuffles his body over to accommodate [name] by his side.

the taller man so easily fit into his side. despite the obvious size difference, but neither of them minded.

then ace’s thoughts began trailing off. he can’t help but think about if things were different. his mind often went to that when it was silent. how the present would be if it were ace in the forefront of [name]’s mind, instead of god knows what. he yearns to know what the man truly thinks of him.

he wonders what would [name] think of him he had found out that his name was etched into his skin.

he doesn’t blame anyone for not really noticing the ink. it was on his back and was miniscule in comparison to his whitebeard tattoo. on the backside of where his heart would be, permanently tattooed into his skin is the other man’s name. ace had gotten it as one of his first tattoos, actually, much before he got the whitebeard one.

he was pretty worried that the jolly roger would cover it, but after the artist on the no-name island assured him it wouldn’t, he relaxed. and to this day, the ink remains strong and bold, hardly faded with the time that had passed.

and despite it being small and barely noticeable, ace simply knowing that it’s there is more than enough for him.

ace wonders how [name] would react if he saw it. if he saw for himself how far ace is willing to go to prove his devotion and love for the man. he’d get his name tattooed and so much more, in a moment’s notice with no doubts.

ace was a loyal and devoted man. this [name] knew, but he didn’t truly know the full extent. the freckled man smiles to himself as he thinks about how [name] would react.

he shivers as he remembers the feeling of the needle etching the name permanently into his skin. it stung, but after a certain amount of time, it became a dull, vibrating sensation. he squeezes you close to him as he thinks about it, wishing he had had you there with him in that moment.

“[name]?” he drawls out his name, as if that’ll make the moment between them last longer.

“ace?” he mimics it easily, making ace smile at his behavior. he really hadn’t changed all that much from when they were younger…

“would you consider getting a tattoo for me?” he asks, the question slipping past his lips in a rather meek tone.

there is a hum to show that [name] was thinking before the man finally announces, “i would, i definitely would,”

ace thinks of the tattoo that [name] already had, the one he had seen for himself again when the man discarded his shirt. the expansive wings that were tattooed into his beautiful s/c skin. ace’s finger began dancing on the outline of them, a soft smile on his face as he remembers their meaning.

”what would get for me? something as big as this one?”

[name] weakly slaps his hand into ace’s chest, “don’t say that, don’t be dumb,”

“what? it was just a question,” ace weakly defends himself, but he understands where [name] was coming from. he’d be the only one that did, to be honest, and maybe luffy — if they’re trusting that the younger one wasn’t as emotionally constipated as they thought. “but, what would you get for me?”

“i don’t know, i haven’t thought about it,” he answers honestly, making ace pout at the lack luster answer.

“not even a little bit?”

“i don’t want to get a tattoo for you for a long time, ace. ideally, never,” ace was about to question why, feeling somewhat offended, but catching the distraught look on [name]’s face he bites his tongue. it doesn’t take him long to realize why [name] had said that. silently, he holds [name] close and hugs him. “i never want to get something like this for you,”

“it doesn’t have to be something like that-”

“why would i need a tattoo of you when i know i’ll see you again then?” [name] cuts him off, holding ace tight to his person, scared he’ll slip away, “i know i don’t have to, but the association of it is too much for me…i don’t want to think of it like that, but i can’t help it. i’ll only get a tattoo for you if you die, but that won’t happen for a long time, so just drop it.”

that leaves a long silence hanging in the air.

“you’re right, i won’t die for a long time,” ace finalizes, smiling softly at the way [name] was so easily turned into a vulnerable state of a man. not because he enjoyed the sight of it, per say, but found it heart warming to know he could invoke such an emotion in him. he was stupid for assuming he couldn’t, but insecurities are insecurities for a reason. not insecure of who they were referring to, but rather of luffy. insecure of how much that boy with the straw hat could alter [name]’s emotions and well-being. to know he had that same affect on [name] made his chest bloom with a raging warmth.

“i know you won’t, which is why i won’t think about it for a long time,” it sounds like that’s the final end to their conversation and ace is almost ready to leave it as it is. but leaving it on such a sour note leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

so he says in a light tone, “get a spade for me, right above your heart. that’s all i want,”

another slap to his bare chest is shamelessly delivered to ace and he takes it, this time with a hearty laugh.

“don’t talk about it anymore, okay? i’m serious.” [name] weakly scolds, resting his palm on ace’s heart and trying to immortalize the feeling of his heart pumping against his hand.

at the feeling of his large hand resting on his skin, ace remembers just how badly he had missed this. just being close to each other and being able to just touch each other. being so far apart took a bigger toll on him than he imagined.

“what about you? want me to get another tattoo for you?” ace asks, curious to hear what [name] had to say.

“hm, i don’t know, what would you have had in mind if you did?” now it was [name]’s turn to have his fingers dance on the ink of ace’s skin, “i really like this one already,” ace can feel the smile on [name]’s face grow in size, “i really do,”

“i’m glad,” ace comments, “i got it for you after all, it would suck if you didn’t like it.”

another slap to his chest.

“as for another one…” [name] goes silent, trying to think, “wouldn’t you just get my name? i mean, that’s the only one other thing you could get for me,”

ace blinks, wondering how [name] could so easily read him.

“really, you think so? that’s a pretty big commitment,” ace comments, trying to play it off casually and not show that he was freaking out very hard on the inside. [name] had so easily predicted him! but, at least the man didn’t know that it was a reality…

“i know, but that’s the thing with you — you’re completely committed and loyal. i think you’re definitely the type to just get my name,” [name] grins up at him, teasing him by rufflinf his hair.

“oh, shut up,” ace defends himself, smooshing [name]’s face far away, “i’d never get something as cheesy as that,”

“i never said you would, i was just predicting!!” he puts his hands up in surrender, making ace sigh and release the palm he was resting on his face. “who knows, maybe next time we see each other you’re gonna have my name tattooed on your forehead because you love me that much!”

it was an obvious tease, but it got ace incredibly flustered. he sighed, looking off to the side, trying to hide his blush and be stubbornly in denial of how accurate [name]’s prediction were.

“well, i like this one you have for now and i think it’s perfect,” [name] says, lifting ace’s spirits one last time and tapping the skin before getting out of the hammock and grabbing his shirt off of the floor. “let’s go back up, the crew might have discovered something,”

“you don’t wanna stay here longer with me?” ace whines, half joking and half serious. he wishes he could stay here forever. just with [name].

[name] smiles softly, shaking his head and watching as the ravenette reluctantly gets out of his resting position.

“whatever, next time you owe me a proper nap,” ace grumbled, stretching and walking out of the dormitory area.

“yeah, when’s next time?”

“i don’t know, but i guess on my pop’s ship. i’ll bring you to meet the family, then,” ace shrugs as if it’s no big deal, but deep down he’s eager to have the most important person in his life ([name], if it wasn't obvious) meet his found family.

“i’ll look forward to it,” [name] says sincerely, smiling as he looks at the tattoo on ace’s back. he’d be more than honored to meet them, meet the people that had given ace hope in having a shot in the world — for people to take him seriously.

if he had just shifted his e/c more downwards, he would have seen the commemorative tattoo of the person that had singlehandedly given ace’s life meaning. an etching of ink that was more powerful and sentimental than [name] would have probably realized.

after all, [name] was the first only and only person to make ace realize his life wasn’t completely worthless and that there was hope for him. but that’s a story for another time.

[ .ᐟ ] if there are any typos, ignore for now. it is 5:55 am (omg coincidence) as im posting this and i plan on knocking out immediatley after i hit publish <3 i will fix any major mistakes hwne i wake up I HOPE U ENJOYED EVERYONE OKKKK BYE (im going to update very very very very soon btw <3) (and i actually mean it by very soon) (porbably tomorrow / technically today)

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chikai-k · 1 year ago

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We Need A Break.

•| Kaveh X Male Reader, hints of Alhaitham X Kaveh

•| Notes: So angst with the characters as parents right? I haven't written in a long time and all so this might be a bit janky in terms of execution. I feel like the ending is a little awkward but it's whatever, I just wanted to get something out 😞 It was originally gonna be Aether since my debut was an Aether fic but I decided I wanted to add my bbg Kaveh to my list of characters hehe also wrote this at 3-4am :)

•| CW: Kaveh is the baby momma🤧, male reader, cheating accusations, arguments, break? divorce?

Here we go.

It's unhealthy to subject your daughter to this.

She doesn't deserve to hear your problems.

You and Kaveh have tried everything in your power to keep the issue away from her attention, to make sure she can't see the cracks forming.

How Kaveh would tuck her to bed, holding back a grimace as he spots the time. He tries his best to stall, she can tell. Kaveh doesn't want to leave her side. How his sweet voice would read her bed time stories as slowly as he could, sometimes staring at her with soft eyes as he presses a goodnight kiss on her forehead. She is his baby. He loves her with every part of his being.

She knows something's wrong. She could sense it before but you two can't keep quiet when the arguments get heated downstairs. She can hear you two from the floor. She can hear you throwing accusations, hear the crack in Kaveh's voice when he says he's not seeing his co worker—but you just won't drop it.

"I see the way you two look at each other." You say, "I see the way you guys give subtle touches." You know that they're probably texting each other about things to do when you're working. "The neighbours themselves have testified that they've seen Alhaitham enter our home when I'm at work for fucks sake! Stop lying to me." You growl, teeth baring at him as your face is flushed in anger, fist clenching by your side.

Kaveh hiccups and shakes his head, "Please, I'm telling you, we're not! Why won't you believe me?" His hand is gripping his wrist and is tucked close to his chest as if protecting himself. He doesn't know what went wrong.

"Then tell me why he's been visiting so much when I'm out! It's not like he's here for our daughter is he? She's always in school, so what else could he be here for?!"

"I—I can't—" Kaveh shook, how was he supposed to explain? He's not cheating, he swear but...

"Bullshit. You and that Alhaitham guy—ugh—" You inhale, your hand shooting up to brush your hair angrily. Tempted to slam it down the counter but you'd risk waking up your daughter from the noise. Hm.

Kaveh eyes your fist warily. He never knew you as physical so he wasn't worried—hoping he didn't need to but with how the tension was going, he was afraid he'd get hurt."What's so different about him and me? Is it the muscles? The income? The looks?" You seethed through your teeth, blindsided by the jealousy that you'd missed the way he stepped back cautiously. "Or did you just fall out of love for me? Or is he secretly our daughter's real father?" You huffed, closing your eyes as you tugged at your hair.

Usually, Kaveh would give you a massage, whisper sweet things and gently pull of your fingers from your hair out of concern. But how could he when he was...scared?

"N-no, I love you." Kaveh hiccuped once more, "I..." He bit his lip as he couldn't help the the tears from spilling. He couldn't bring himself to mean it. It felt forced, like he was saying it to survive and saying it felt wrong. I love you is supposed to be affectionate and meaningful, not like this.

"I think..." He sighs as he watches you gaze back, once furious expression softening in realisation at what he was about to say. "I think we need a break. To cool our head...I'm sorry." He struggles to finish, flinching as you attempt to approach him. Right now, he didn't know who you were. Actually, he hadn't know who you were for the past couple of months.

He just needs some space to breath, to find the words to tell you why Alhaitham had been visiting...

#genshin x male reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact #sub character #top male reader #male reader #dom reader #Kaveh X male reader #Kaveh from genshin #Kaveh #Kaveh X Alhaitham #—chikai archives 📸

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mockerycrow · 2 years ago

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okkk since my last ask went so Amazingly well (I have read it at least 7 to 20 times)

could you do reader with like almost constantly cold hands? like not extremely cold hands, but enough that it's noticeable? I'm just imagining reader (you could use the Cinder callsign again or whatever you feel works best) maybe patching up a wound and whoever (x gaz again??? again, whoever you feel like is best) is surprised by the sudden coldness

anyway no pressure to answer this, I can't wait for whatever you write next <33333 (also this is totally me projecting my cold hands if this feels super random)

Sweater Weather (Gaz x GN!Reader)

gaz masterlist - crow’s mega masterlist

So now, let me hold both your hands in the holes of my sweater.

A/N: YET ANOTHER BANGER PROMPT FROM YOU!!! AND ITS FOR GAZ I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!! I hope you get my song reference hehe. i’m also happy you enjoyed the last fic you requested <3 feel free to send in more requests! This is also lowkey a part 2 to your previous request, but it could be a standalone. Cinder is your callsign.

[WARNINGS: minor descriptions of minor injuries, medical inaccuracies, humor, fluff!]

By this point in time, you and Gaz were two peas in a pod. You were the latest person to join the task force, the last for now, but surely not the least. Everyone had their own set of gear and clothing, their own ways of getting into the right headspaces for missions, and everyone had their own things that they had with them at all times. Price always had his cigars, Ghost always had his mask, Soap always had his sketchbook, and Gaz always had a baseball cap with him. You? You always had gloves on. Not on your person, but always on your hands. The only times the team likely saw you without them is when you were exiting the bathroom, but then again, you were slipping them back on after you had washed your hands.

It perplexed Gaz. He understood everyone else’s reasons and items—Price is admittedly addicted to cigars, Ghost is just.. Ghost, Soap’s sketchbook helps him calm down and document things, his own hat was a comfort for him in the field.. But your gloves made no sense. To be fair, he didn’t notice right away. Many people wear gloves in the field to protect their hands, even on the hottest days, they’ll wear gloves and sweat in them until their fingertips prune from the moisture. You? You always, always wore them inside. On base. In your room… While eating— The point is, you always wore them. No matter the situation. It has him—and likely the others-wondering why exactly you do this. The few times they’ve seen your hands without gloves, none of them were close enough to see if you were, for some reason, hiding scars, perhaps hand tattoos, just something that would make sense.

Gaz ended up sporting himself a nasty split lip after an enemy managed to bash his head into a door frame, a wound that definitely needed stitches. It was the lower lip, off-center to the right with blood dribbling down his chin. Everyone was split up on the mission— You and Gaz were paired together, while Soap and Price were also paired. Ghost was operating alone for some stealth work. He’s sitting down on an old wooden chair in a house you two have held up in for the night. You open your duffel bag by the south wall, which is front of Gaz. You rummage around for the medical kit you began to bring everywhere after you fell through the floor a few months ago. “I don’t think we have too much further to go.” Gaz commented, glancing at the boarded up window to his left. There was a small sliver between the boards, allowing him to see that the sun is setting.

“Stop talking, you’ll agitate your lip.” You scold softly, grabbing the handle of the medical kit and you pull it out of the stuffed duffel bag. You glance over at him to see him quietly—yet playfully—mocking you under his breath. Sometimes you’re convinced he spends too much time with Soap, but then you always remember in the back of your mind, he’s more-so playful around you than anyone else. You walk over and place it on the table next to Gaz, opening the latches and pushing the top open. You look into the box and blink rapidly when you don’t see any disposable gloves. You then pick up packages of gauze, the small plastic container holding the medical thread, you practically rearrange everything and yet, it seems they were not packed. “Fuck.” You curse under your breath. You let out a sigh as Gaz asks you, “Cinder? What’s wrong?”

You tear the velcro off of the wrist part of your glove and slip it off, repeating the process with your other glove. “Whoever packaged this medical kit didn’t add disposable gloves, and my gloves are dirty as hell.” You mumble, even slightly pouting about it. Gaz raises an eyebrow at your attitude, a smile pulling at the corner of his lips. You grab a bottle of antiseptic and you put your finger up as without looking at him, you already know he’s about to say something snarky. “Open your mouth again and I’ll use this tourniquet on your damn neck.”

Gaz bursts out laughing, causing you to roll your eyes and smile yourself. You pop open and cap and pour the antiseptic onto your hands, the extra liquid splattering against the floor and onto your boots. You set the bottle down and grab a needle and take out some thread. Despite the calm mood between you two, Gaz is still on high alert. You can tell by his posture, the way his eyes flicker towards the boarded up windows, the barricaded door.. On one hand, you wish you could reassure him but you’re also still on high alert, especially after witnessing Gaz get his face bashed. You quietly thread the string through the needles hole, turning to Gaz completely. You grab his jaw to turn his head and this man physically flinches, muttering, “Bloody hell, your hands are cold.”

You laugh as you position his head for the best angle that you need, bringing the needle close to his lips. “Why do you think I’m wearing gloves all the time, Gaz?” Your eyebrows furrow inward slightly as you begin to concentrate, hoping to distract him from the pain of the needle piercing his skin. “Even in the hotter areas our missions were in, my hands would be sweating, yet they were cold.”

Gaz blinks in surprise, completely forgetting about the needle that is about to enter his skin. That’s why you wore gloves all the time? It wasn’t because of a big secret you were hiding? No scars? No tattoos?

You were cold?

Gaz stares at your scrunched face he begins to feel a bit stupid, as he never considered that as a possibility.

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asher-agere · 2 months ago

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Lately I’ve been trying to get into different kinds of books then just manga and the very occasional novel so I’ve been reading a manhua (Chinese comic) called My Darling is The Cutest and!!! I can confirm the character being referenced in the title is the cutest. It’s a very silly manhua but unfortunately its a webcomic on tapas which means I can only read another chapter every three hours unless I want to grind out the free ink missions to pay for one and thats a pain to do so I just have to deal with it. Qi Ling is an age regressor and Chang Shu is her caregiver please trust (I made this up there’s like nothing in canon pointing to this. Then again I’m only on like chapter 11 and there’s over a hundred chapters so… there could be something pointing to it!)

Anyways as you probably expect its request time now!! Can you do caregiver Ranpo and little Dazai BUT IN SPECIFIC he regresses to a teenager! Like 14~16. I think teenage regressors (actually, just anyone who doesn’t regress to a baby or toddler) are overlooked in the agere community and I’ve been thinking about ranzai a lot lately (I’m even writing fanfiction about them! It’s platonic though because I wrote it less for ranzai and more because I had an interesting canon divergence idea and I know that nobody will write it in the way I wanted) so hey why not combine the two? I also like teenage regressor Dazai a lot in general. He joined the mafia at like 14 so it makes a lot of sense for him to regress to a teenager!

That sounds so exciting! I’m answering this ask so late (╥﹏╥) Meaning you’ve probably had time to read a bunch more! So how’s it looking so far? I looked into it a bit and it seems cool :0 Though what I looked into used some different names- Qi Ling is the one with white hair I’m guessing? She’s so cute hehe

And YES I can do that! I looooove Souheki (Ranzai). I don’t write much for teenage regression since I’m very unfamiliar with it (Certified baby regressor here) but that doesn’t mean I can’t do research >:3

Caregiver Ranpo + Teenage Little Dazai

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺ ˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖ ༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

✦ Like specified in the request, this will be teenage regressor Dazai with an age range of 14-16! Though there will be a heavier focus on 14-15 because that’s the real beginning beginning of his time in the mafia, before he had people like Odasaku and Chuuya making his life even just a tiny bit better. I think Dazai regresses because, the mafia was easily the point in his life that made him accept he didn’t have a childhood. Before that he could convince himself, so when he regresses his teenage years are the only part he feels the need to relive (We don’t know his past but we all know it’s tragic)

₊ ⊹ With Ranpo as a caregiver it’s literally impossible to hide anything, which is perfect! Because when Dazai regresses he’s an absolute menace. Constantly lying, trying to manipulate Ranpo, or just causing general chaos! For example if Dazai steals extra snacks and claims he didn’t, Ranpo knows the truth. Or if Dazai is bargaining to get something he wants, Ranpo can figure out a compromise the little one will agree to! Or if Dazai is pretending to be sad to get out of punishment of any kind, Ranpo can point out how he knows it’s fake! Dazai gets very frustrated

✦ Ranpo is a really relaxed caregiver honestly! He has like, no rules. Not officially at least? The idea of rules intimidates Dazai I think, it caused him to put up those mental barriers and shut Ranpo out, so Ranpo just skips all that hassle! Anything that’s important he simply reinforces. He makes sure to do two meals a day, showers every other day, brushing teeth twice a day, drinking water throughout the day… Standard self care stuff that Dazai would usually struggle with!

₊ ⊹ Whenever they’re going to do something, Dazai is never forced into it! Ranpo always gives him the chance to explain why he doesn’t want to and they proceed accordingly! For example if Dazai doesn’t want to eat because he says he feels nauseous Ranpo won’t force him to! The food can be put away. But if Dazai tries to avoid a shower for example by saying he’d to tired to stand up, Ranpo just sets up a bath for him instead! Problems are addressed, if they can be solved they will be, if not they’ll be avoided for the time being to avoid further conflicts

✦ Dazai absolutely feels like such a bad boy, a cool kid, however he also says things like “Frick” “Fudge” “Darn” Not because Ranpo has said he isn’t allowed to swear? But because any time he’s about to Ranpo just looks at him with a raised eyebrow, and suddenly Dazai decides to use a different word. Ranpo is torn because honestly he doesn’t care one bit if Dazai swears, but he knows not to encourage it, plus he finds it hilarious hearing Dazai’s not so swearing swear words

₊ ⊹ Dazai can push boundaries, but he also had a messed up childhood, so when Ranpo mentioned punishment Dazai got a bit freaked out… However when he was told that his punishment was an early bedtime he relaxed. He went from his quiet shutting down to being whiny and complaining. It’s not a real punishment, nothing that bad. But… He hates it! He doesn’t want to sleep! Especially not early! Of course Ranpo can’t really make him sleep, but Ranpo can make him lay in bed instead of playing and running around. And it’s so mean! Plus Ranpo rubs his scalp super nice and he gets so tired… It’s so annoying!

✦ Dazai refuses to listen to any advice, even though Ranpo is usually (Always) right. For example Ranpo can say it’s hot outside so he should dress light! Dazai puts on ten million layers. Ranpo says that eating a bunch of candy will hurt his stomach? Dazai eats even more! Ranpo says they’ll be going somewhere that might be overwhelming so Dazai should bring noise canceling headphones or fidget toys? Dazai doesn’t need that! (Ranpo brings him things in a bag anyway)

₊ ⊹ Dazai loves going to the arcade! It’s one of the few things he was able to do as a teenager in the mafia that he genuinely enjoyed, plus! Ranpo is the best! Together they’re the ultimate cheating duo. Dazai will mess up other players while Ranpo finds shortcuts and similar hacks for Dazai to use! Overall they’re basically unstoppable. The prize counter is where conflict happens! Ranpo wants all the snacks, Dazai wants the cool toys and trinkets! Eventually they end up splitting the profits, all snacks that Ranpo buys he shares though of course!

✦ Pet names! (I totally didn’t almost forget…) I think mainly just just do nicknames? Ranpo constantly calls Dazai “Daz” or “Zai”, but he’ll also use pet names like “Bud” or “Champ”! Dazai thinks he’s being real mean with his nicknames for Ranpo “Four Eyes” “Snack Addict” “Knockoff Sherlock” Ranpo will lightly argue back to amuse Dazai of course! But he doesn’t get really upset

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺ ˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖ ༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

Hooray for Souheki! They’re so silly I love them

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genshinnrambles · 2 years ago

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[3.8] Technology as a False God: On "Evolution," the Duality of Machines, Replication, and Wisdom

“To recognize untruth as a condition of life: that is certainly to impugn the traditional ideas of value in a dangerous manner, and a philosophy which ventures to do so, has thereby alone placed itself beyond good and evil.” –Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil

Before we move on to the nation of justice, I want to do one last inquiry into the narrative significance of machines and technology in Genshin’s 3.x patch cycle. Here, I’ll discuss how divinity (or “godhood”) and technology are treated as interchangeable tools to surpass fate and the boundaries of mortality, the potential problems with treating them this way, and propose an alternative relationship between humanity and technology as illustrated through Karkata, Benben, Tamimi, and Mehrak. By foregrounding machines, we learn something intriguing about ourselves and the “truth” of this world as we perceive it.

SPOILERS: All Sumeru Archon Quests, Caribert, the Golden Slumber and one out-of-context screenshot from Dual Evidence, the Dirge of Bilqis and its post-quests, Khvarena of Good and Evil, Nahida’s second Story Quest, Faruzan’s hangout, an out-of-context screenshot from Baizhu’s Story Quest, and major spoilers for Persona 5 strikers at the end. Also some dialogue from Shadows Amidst Snowstorms and A Parade of Providence, two limited-time events from 2.3 and 3.6 respectively.

Disclaimer: I have tried my best to write this post so that it stands on its own, but because it is still a sequel it will probably make the most sense with the context of part 1. Here are the previous posts leading up to this one:

Part 0: On Dreams, the Abyss, Forbidden Knowledge, and Wish Fulfillment

Part 1: The Uncanny, Fate and the Machine

Terminology: Machine is sometimes used interchangeably with “technology” in this post.

Technology or tool here is referring to technologies specifically used to pursue a wish like immortality in the face of existential dread, not the use of technology or medicine (which I do not address here, and is very difficult to separate from the former) to facilitate someone’s life who could otherwise not survive without that technology, or would have a more painful lived experience without it.

Also, though I don’t engage directly with “A Cyborg Manifesto” here, Donna Haraway’s ideas have greatly influenced my own over the years since I read her in college (although I mostly disagree with her on many points, or at least don’t go as far in boundary deconstruction as she does). I owe my interest in technology studies to her and that piece. Her essay is linked here and at the bottom if you would like to read it.

(and finally with many, many, many thanks to my boyfriend for multiple beta reads despite not having played a single Hoyoverse game, helping me work out the philosophy bits and contextualizing them in history, and encouraging me to finish this)

TL;DR: Machines are friends, not food!

No Matter the Cost

“...Perhaps it is as the notebook says, and we can find a power that transcends even that of the Abyss — the power of ‘evolution’...” -Records of Unknown Attribution (I) “Life, death... and the world around us all follow a set of laws... Hehe, but if you never test the limits, how can anyone know where the boundaries of these laws are?” -Baizhu Voicelines, Chat: Natural Laws “...Even the ominous thing that came down from the heavens shall be ours to use…” -Hyglacg, Shadowy Husk in the Chasm

Without a doubt, the star of this patch cycle is Khaenri’ah, which lurked in subtext and allegory in the Archon Quest, haunted Sumeru’s landscape with its massive defunct Ruin Golems, and finally smacked us in the face with its physical location in Khvarena of Good and Evil..

We already know that Khaenri’ah was a nation that put its faith not in the gods but rather in human ingenuity and technology, and that they ultimately attained a power so great that they “almost touched the dome of the firmament.” They did this by researching increasingly dangerous energy sources for their numerous mechanical creations, the Ruin Machines we are all too familiar with by now. They started out with Azosite, a Ley Line-based elemental energy source that powered their earliest Ruin Guard models, like those scattered around Devantaka Mountain.

Nasejuna: This giant furnace is used to make a substance known as Azosite. It is the core of this entire factory, and the Energy Blocks we saw earlier were derived from this place.

But this energy source proved inefficient and therefore inadequate for Khaenri’ah’s goals, which led them to seek a higher power from beyond the skies that could fuel their larger machines with perpetual energy. This likely is the bridge between Khaenri’ah’s fate and Chlothar’s mysterious remarks in Caribert about the Abyss Sibling:

Chlothar: We once believed that you would bring new strength and hope to Khaenri'ah. Chlothar: To us, you were the Abyss... A wondrous mystery far beyond our imagination and comprehension... Chlothar: ...And the one who controls the Abyss can control everything! Chlothar: We yearned for that future. We looked to you to take us there. Chlothar: But what did you bring us instead?

Though Khaenri’ah presents itself proudly as a godless nation, it may have been founded around the time when the celestial nails dropped in Teyvat’s first forbidden knowledge pollution event, which destroyed the unified human civilization. As potential survivors of this devastating act by the Primordial One, Khaenri’ahns then settled in a lifeless land without plants or animals of its own, and they hoped to build something there that belonged solely to humanity. The Heavenly Principles had turned on the world’s earliest humans, and they were powerless against them. Chlothar’s words betray the scars of this trauma on Khaenri’ah, as well as their desperation to control their fate by looking to the Abyss.

As a brief refresher from the previous part, we discussed how the German word heimlich denotes “the home,” all that is familiar and known, while unheimlich (uncanny) refers to all that is unfamiliar and external to the home, such as the wilderness. The Abyss sibling and the Traveler are external variables to Teyvat, making them otherworldly, unfamiliar entities full of potential to surpass Teyvat’s natural laws. Although the Abyss sibling is not a god per se, they were probably as close to a god as Khaenri’ah ever had, because to them the sibling embodied the higher power they were searching for, and they saw that “godliness,” a sort of functional divinity, was yet another technology for them to master. In this way, the Abyss sibling (and their functional divinity) was a powerful tool for Khaenri’ah’s desired end, the “future they yearned for,” a being who could deliver them to the end of their suffering under the Heavenly Principles.

It’s similar to what King Deshret represented to Rahman and the radicals in Archon Quest. The hopelessness of Sumeru’s situation before the Archon Quest’s conclusion is an allegory for the position humanity finds itself in under the rule of the Heavenly Principles, with the Akademiya symbolizing Celestia and the desert dwellers symbolizing Khaenri’ah. The material consequences of the Akademiya’s rule on their lives created a dangerous situation for the desert, and those most desperate to change their fate were willing to believe in the impossible:

Dehya: …The rougher life gets, the more they wanna believe in King Deshret. Way they see it, King Deshret’s resurrection is their only chance at overthrowing the Akademiya. … Dehya: Sumeru is run by wise and mighty sages. To them, us desert dwellers are nothing but tools that can be used and discarded at their whim. Dehya: We’re cheap labor. Like livestock, but easier to control…Nothing more. …

Rahman: We’ve waited a long time for this day to come… The sun and the moon no longer shine here. All you see now is cracks in this desiccated land. But, fate has finally dealt me a hand to play against the Akademiya.

Rahman: With these scholars in our custody, we’ll stomp the Akademiya’s forces and fight our way beyond the Wall of Samiel.

Like the Abyss sibling, Deshret’s divinity is both a nebulous symbol of hope and also the means to an end, a tool or “technology” for surpassing fate.

Celestia is untouchable, unconcerned with mortal lives, and the boundaries that govern humanity leave no room for them to negotiate their rule:

"Resolve, valor, love, hate...they will all twist in the river of time. But the 'rules' will never change." –Magatsu Mitake Narukami no Mikoto, Living Beings

Instead of bowing to Teyvat’s laws, Khaenri’ah pushed them to their limits. The cost of their failure spelled the end of their nation as they knew it, polluting Khaenri’ah and Teyvat with forbidden knowledge again.

And speaking of forbidden knowledge pollution, let’s talk about Apep’s role in Nahida’s second story quest, because if all that wasn’t enough, the metaphor becomes quite literal in Apep’s case. Nahida’s second story quest is many things, all of which will be extremely important in Fontaine when we deal more directly with the idea of forms, the Self, and mirror images, but its most useful application to both Sumeru’s story and the overarching main story is the allegory of Apep swallowing Deshret.

In exchange for allowing him to establish his kingdom in the desert, Deshret promised to pass all of the knowledge he learned to Apep once he died. When that day did come, Apep literally ate Deshret’s body in order to assimilate his knowledge (or memories) into its body. Little did Apep know, this was all Just As Deshret Planned, and its body became a containment zone for the lethal forbidden knowledge he accumulated after the Goddess of Flowers’ death.

Apep’s goal was, and still is, to overthrow the Heavenly Principles that took Teyvat from it and the other Sovereign dragons, and using Deshret’s knowledge was yet another stepping stone to achieving this goal. Seems a little similar to Khaenri’ah, right? It’s even in the title of its boss music: “God-Devouring Mania.” This idea of not just utilizing divinity as a tool, but also metaphorically consuming it as an energy source, like a predator would consume its prey, is crucial to understanding its purpose as an aid in a larger project of “evolution.” (Edit: in other words, it’s all about power).

Drink Not That Bitter Salt Water

“Flesh decays, and with it decay all martial arts mastery and all poignant memories. Perhaps only by converting one’s four limbs and body into sturdy mechanical parts, and by at last sacrificing one’s very own heart for a sophisticated mechanical one, can one transcend the impermanence of the fleshly form…” -Marionette Core Item Description “A reptile that has mutated after feeding from greater lifeforms. Majestic beasts are sometimes revered by human beings as the embodiment of a greater power, their visages turned to analogy to feed in reference to a person, feeding their ego. However, the majority of beasts that have absorbed the "greater power" were slain by the overwhelming nature of the power itself. Only a few among their number evolved new forms.” -Consecrated Horned Crocodile, Living Beings Video still from WoW Quests

As it turns out, the relationship between divinity and technology to humanity is not just unidirectional, but interchangeable. Let me show you what I mean.

In the Golden Slumber world quest, the Traveler wanders through the ruins of King Deshret’s civilization in search of a novel area of research for Tirzad’s paper with Jebrael and Jeht, two members of Tirzad’s hired investigation team. In the depths of King Deshret’s mausoleum, they stumble upon Samail, who is collaborating with the Fatui to locate King Deshret’s secret, the Golden Slumber.

At the conclusion, Jebrael and Samail actually reach that “place” after arriving at Deshret’s throne in Khaj-Nisut. In order to save Jeht, Tirzad, and the Traveler from the encroaching Golden Dream, Jebrael joins Samail in the sea of consciousness:

Jebrael: I'm inside... the Golden Slumber promised by Al-Ahmar? Samail: Oh... You are not "us" yet. Samail: ...It's fine. Soon, there'll be no "you." "You" will become a part of "us." This meaningless talk will be unnecessary then. … Samail: You should obey. Al-Ahmar's will is our will. The Thutmose's dreams are our dreams. Jebrael: No! Ufairah taught me that I'm not just some part of you, I'm an independent person! I have my own dreams... I won't go back! Samail: Jebrael, why don't you understand? Love is just a fever. I even eliminated the infection for you. Has the heat made you lose your mind? Jebrael: You're the one who's lost their mind, Samail, not me. The Golden Slumber that Al-Ahmar promised us isn't like this... It's not a sad place with only "we" and no "I." Samail: I'm not sad. I know what I want. My dream is to be one with the Thutmose. Samail: Yet you, the warmth of another... I despise such feelings. It makes you weak. Video still from WoW Quests

When they worked under Babel, Jebrael saved Samail from an assassin Babel sent in their exploration of Gurabad. Classified as traitors of the Tanit, Samail and Jebrael then founded the Thutmose Eremite faction together and were the only meaningful connection each other had until their first attempt to uncover Deshret’s secrets. On this expedition, Jebrael met Ufairah and had their daughter Jeht together, further pulling him away from the Thutmose and from Samail. Samail then kills Ufairah in one final attempt to make Jebrael stay, but even this is not enough, and Samail fails to “possess” him in the end.

Samail’s loneliness and despair then drove him further toward the Golden Slumber of his dreams, where he would never truly be alone again. He resents Jebrael’s attachments to the material world and likens them to an illness because these attachments are what make him an individual and prevent him from returning “home.”

It doesn’t really matter to Samail what King Deshret’s original intent for the Golden Slumber was, because he needed to appropriate the project for his own subconscious wish, his own intent to transcend his flesh and become “one” with his departed god’s dream, indeed to merge with Deshret himself. If rationalizing this wish required confounding it with Deshret’s, so be it. With the Golden Slumber’s technology, he could consume everyone and everything.

Rahman and the radicals relied on both the technology that (falsely) promised Deshret’s resurrection and Deshret himself to deliver them a brighter future, but here Deshret and his technology are more difficult to separate from one another. His divinity is technology in this sense, and using that technology allowed Samail to surpass the boundaries normally imposed on mortals. Though his and Jebrael’s bodies died in the material world, their consciousness is now infinite in the Golden Slumber.

Babel’s motives in the Dirge of Bilqis were also quite similar to Samail’s. After opening the path to the Eternal Oasis, her true intentions to monopolize the oasis and overthrow the Akademiya came to the surface:

Babel: Whether she is alive or dead, whether she can or cannot be resurrected... As long as the Eternal Oasis is under my control, all such things will be mine to decide. Babel: I shall be the sole Prophetess of the slumbering goddess, the Tanit's law shall be divine edict, and the prosperity of the Tanit shall be the pre-ordinance of her divine oracles.

In the Golden Slumber and the Dirge of Bilqis, the focus shifts from what a god can offer humanity to what their technology alone can offer. Though this distinction is subtle, it is important for solidifying that technology is not only a tool humans use to appropriate divinity, but that it is also seen as a form of divinity itself. What Babel and Samail hope for is not to resurrect a god or to create one, but in effect to become a god through their use of technology. To humanity, divinity is a technology, and in technology it sees divinity.

God Devouring and Rheingold* Gathering

“An arthropod that has mutated after feeding from greater lifeforms. Lifeforms are governed by the laws of evolution, Consecrated Beasts exploited these rules by being fortunate enough to discover a long-dead carcass of a greater being before any of their competition ever did. Animals and humans often have far more in common than the latter is willing to acknowledge.” -Consecrated Scorpion, Living Beings “...Zandik and I discussed the traits of local plants and animals. We also exchanged views on their evolution models. We had a great time and decided to go on a picnic tonight…” -Sohreh’s Note

So, why machines? Why is technology the vehicle of choice to consume divinity?

To start off, machines present a fascinating ontological dilemma for humans. Let’s begin with the first problem they pose.

Although there are many ways to embody a human experience, what all humans have in common is a finite lifespan. The impermanence of life, and our awareness of that impermanence, is central to the existential question of the meaning of our existence. In our attempts to locate that meaning, some turned inward and asked: what makes humans different? And Cartesian dualism answered: humans are different because we have an immaterial soul that allows us to reason.

However, in L’Homme Machine (Man a Machine), French materialist and ex-physician Julien Offray de La Mettrie posited another theory of the body that ran counter to this narrative. Very generally speaking, materialism is the philosophical view that all phenomena are a result of matter and material interactions. To materialists, matter is the fundamental nature of reality itself – if it is not composed of matter, it doesn’t exist. He not only saw the body and soul as one and the same (what philosophers call monism), but also as analogous to a machine, a view that Descartes reserved only for non-human animals. In other words, Descartes argued that thought originates in an immaterial “mind,” while de La Mettrie reasoned that we think through our bodies, and that this makes us no different from other animals or a machine.

Though his examples weren’t especially scientific, the move to extend Descartes’ analogy back to humans is upsetting to some due to the lack of privilege it affords the human subject. If a human is no different from other animals, if there is no immaterial soul or “mind” that distinguishes us from them, then what makes humans special at all? In de La Mettrie’s words:

“We are veritable moles in the field of nature; we achieve little more than the mole’s journey and it is our pride which prescribes limits to the limitless. We are in the position of a watch that should say (a writer of fables would make the watch a hero in a silly tale): ‘I was never made by that fool of a workman, I who divide time, who mark so exactly the course of the sun, who repeat aloud the hours which I mark! No! that is impossible!’ In the same way, we disdain, ungrateful wretches that we are, this common mother of all kingdoms, as the chemists say. We imagine, or rather we infer, a cause superior to that to which we owe all, and which truly has wrought all things in an inconceivable fashion (de La Mettrie, 146).”

This “uniformity of nature” (de La Mettrie, 145) has a horrific quality to humans. We assert that we are better than what has created us, that we are superior to other animals, in order to repress the despair of a meaningless existence. It is in no small part what motivates Scaramouche to offer his mechanical body as a test subject in the god creation project, so that he too could attain his destiny:

The Balladeer: But you're wrong. I'm different from all of you. The Balladeer: I was born to become a god. My entire life up until this point has just been a meaningless routine. The Balladeer: Just think about a sheet of paper... By itself, it holds no meaning. The content recorded on it is what gives it value. The Balladeer: All "I" had recorded down before were some painful memories and boring human feelings. Such senseless drivel should have been erased a long time ago.

This brings us to the second problem. In 1970, roboticist Masahiro Mori proposed a curve to measure the “affinity” we feel while gazing upon increasingly humanoid machines. He placed industrial robots at the beginning of the affinity curve and a healthy person at the end to demarcate a continuum of similarity between the machine and a human’s appearance. Near the end of the curve, our affinity for machines suddenly drops into an abyss. This drop is the Uncanny Valley effect, where an android’s similarity to a human is almost perfect, but ultimately fails to maintain the illusion that it is not a machine, creating a deep discomfort or “lack of affinity” for them. Mori thought these not-quite-human machines elicit a similar level of discomfort in us as corpses and zombies, which he placed at the very bottom of the abyss.

The uncanny Goddess of Flowers in the Dirge of Bilqis

Corpses frighten us because they are dead, and zombies frighten us because we know that dead things are supposed to be still. If we see something that we interpret as “dead” is capable of independent movement, then that movement could only be an act of god, if that “thing” is not a god itself. We associate uncanny machines with death because they remind us of something we once knew intimately, but have repressed and forgotten in order to maintain our own sanity: the very fact of our mortality. This is what makes them both mesmerizing and terrifying.

And therein lies the dilemma: as our mechanical reflections, androids remind us of death, but as their creators, their existence brings us closer to god, a “proof” of human superiority. It is precisely because we have compared our bodies to machines at all, that we have mechanized the body so thoroughly, that an android can even be built. Through them, we pursue an infinite form:

Azar: Creating a god... Yes, we are using human wisdom to create a god! Azar: If humanity cannot attain omniscience and omnipotence, then we shall create a god to reveal them! This is the pinnacle of human wisdom. Azar: We shall regain a god's guidance at long last. No longer will we flounder in the interminable void of consciousness and knowledge. Azar: Even Irminsul will be freed from its plight. Azar: For our nation of scholars, this is the ultimate aspiration — no cost is too great to realize it.

Because of this, it is not surprising in the slightest that Shouki no Kami, the pinnacle of Scaramouche’s Shinjification and most overt reference to Neon Genesis Evangelion, is also an android-like being, a truly “mechanical god.”

Of course, no foray into this well-worn science fiction trope is complete without at least one mad scientist character. Dottore shares a few characteristics with de La Mettrie that are worth noting: they are both doctors, and they were both condemned and driven away for their research. However, Dottore’s defining trait and key difference from de La Mettrie is his flagrant disregard for humans and the boundaries of life:

“If we put them to good use, cognition, complex memories, and irrational fantasies shall become controllable variables with which we can alter human individuals. As for the controllable dream, it has huge potential for both civil and military applications, and might even elevate human intelligence to a whole new level. If the plan goes well, mankind will obtain the power to conquer both reality and dream, and truly transcend the earthly boundaries we are born with. ” -Ragged Records

As someone who has achieved self-duplication and is capable of shapeshifting, Dottore can hardly be considered just a human anymore. Instead of entertaining the question of whether or not humans are special, Dottore’s research asks yet another: if divinity can be consumed and assimilated by humanity, then what makes gods special?

Empyrean Reflections

“If man realizes technology is in reach, he achieves it. Like it’s damn near instinctive.” -Motoko Kusanagi, Ghost in the Shell (1996) “Among the lost ancient kingdoms, there was a group of people who were obsessed with the idea of mimesis…these people believed that they might all be replicated and modified to the point where they had surpassed their counterparts. By this means, a superior and unsullied bodily form could replace the continuously decaying and shattering order.” -Chaos Bolt Item Description

The consequences of this perspective are severe. When we revere technology as if it were a divine being itself, depersonalizing it as though it wasn’t created with human hands, technology then appears as if it is an authoritative source of truth, like the Akasha. But in the same way that androids are imperfect reflections of humans, technology can only ever approach the divine, but never touch it. It is an imperfect reflection because technology is changeable, just like meaning:

Nahida: Put it this way instead. Truth, to me, is like a shroomboar. Nahida: Some people only see the mushroom on the Shroomboar's back, and they conclude that a Shroomboar is a mushroom. Nahida: Others see only the Shroomboar's body, and they declare that a Shroomboar is a boar. Nahida: Still others look deeper inside, and determine that a Shroomboar is... meat. Nahida: These conclusions are all correct in their own way, but none of them objectively describe the Shroomboar. … Nahida: The world is the same way. No one, not even I included, can understand it in its entirety. All of us are somewhere on the path toward truth.

Meaning can only approximate truth, and while this doesn’t make meaning any less important, it’s equally important to recognize it for what it is: a perspective, an interpretation. It’s like Scaramouche as Shouki no Kami - he was an amalgamation of what Scaramouche thought constituted a god, what the Akademiya thought constituted a god, and what Dottore thought constituted a god, but no matter which angle you view him from, he was still a “false god.” The technology we build in “God's” image is ultimately a reflection of our own understanding of divinity.

A reflection retains the original’s “essence,” and that essence reflects a deeper truth about ourselves, what drives us, and our desires. In Beyond Good and Evil, Nietzsche posits that our desires are the origin of not just emotions, but of all organic processes that allow life to sustain itself and grow (Nietzsche, 35). In other words, Nietzsche thought the impulses associated with desire are the basis for life and constitute our “will,” that will is the causality of all effects, that all will is “Will to Power,” and that Will to Power is the “essence” of the world (Nietzsche, 74). Will to Power then serves as an organism’s most basic instinct, and it is through this instinct that they assert not just their will to live, but also their will to dominate and multiply (Nietzche, 13).

This brings us to the two different main styles of automaton enemies, King Deshret’s Primal Constructs and Khaenri’ah’s Ruin Machines. If we look at them as reflections of some deeper truth about their creators, as well as a manifestation of their creator’s “Will to Power,” or desires, they can help us understand how their creators saw the world and their place in it.

King Deshret’s created his machines to construct an earthly paradise in the desert, and as such they hold titles like architect reshaper and prospector. Although they can attack you, the smaller machines were not intended to be a line of defense in any way - their purpose, just as Deshret saw his own purpose as a god-king, was to terraform, or at least construct a domain on the land as he saw fit to his “elegant and precise” rules. They also reflect how he saw the Heavenly Principles: gods who shaped the world to their liking. This can be seen in the Staff of the Scarlet Sands’ lore where Deshret describes the “natural history” of Teyvat beginning with the creation of the sun and the moons.

As for Khaenri’ah’s Ruin Machines, their models vary significantly from their humanoid to biomimetic forms, but most of them are expressly created with militaristic intent. In “Ancient Kingdom Guardians,” it’s stated that the biomimetic machines such as the crab and jellyfish were a part of Khaenri’ah’s project to create a “mechanical ecosystem,” positioning their creators as both divine beings and military generals. The humanoid models, on the other hand, point to another duality in how Khaenri’ahns view themselves. They are simultaneously symbols of empowerment and disempowerment, signifying both Khaenri’ah’s technological superiority (as “creators”), and their insignificance to the Heavenly Principles as nothing but tools (as mortals, and therefore expendable). As a result, Khaenri’ah’s Field Tillers have a single purpose: to destroy and outlast all, clearing the way for new seeds to sprout, with Khaenri’ah as the new world’s gardeners, just as the Heavenly Principles did.

From “Ancient Kingdom Guardians: Behind the Scenes of the Creation of Ruin Monsters.”

So, from this examination of Deshret’s and Khaenri’ah’s mechanical reflections, what “truths” do we learn about the world they’re responding to? In response to their existential despair, both Deshret and Khaenri’ah created automatons to perform tasks that could wrestle control back from the Heavenly Principles. Deshret wanted a paradise of his own making, Khaenri’ah wanted an army. There is a larger “truth” about Teyvat that both of these automaton types reflect as the manifestation of their creators’ “Will to Power,” and Albedo tellingly expressed it in mechanistic language during Shadows Amidst Snowstorms: there is an instinct in living beings to replicate and replace. This is what is meant by the “continuously decaying and shattering order,” which is maintained by the recursive process of remembering and forgetting:

Amber: But... what was its purpose? Was it just trying to get rid of us? Albedo: ... Albedo: I have a preliminary hypothesis on this. Albedo: Whopperflowers are masters of mimicry, and those we encounter in the wild often appear in the vicinity of the plants they impersonate. Albedo: In other words, the whopperflower likely has an instinct to "replicate and replace." Albedo: As a plant, it will disguise itself as another plant and infiltrate the group, hiding among them for cover. The plant being imitated has no way to detect or fight back against this behavior.

Maybe I’m wrong and Khaenri’ah really did intend to rewrite fate for all, doing away with the “heavenly order” of the world itself. But another small part of me thinks this is not the case, and that it’s more likely the Cataclysm was a consequence of their failure to replicate and replace the Heavenly Principles.

In the last section, I mentioned that Dottore and de La Mettrie had a key difference despite their similarities, and that is the conclusion they each came to in response to their findings. Dottore’s response to mundanity is thinly-veiled despair. His contempt for humanity and his test subjects is indicative of the powerlessness he feels not just as someone similarly constrained by life’s boundaries (at least, once upon a time), but also because his attention to and curiosity about these boundaries is condemned by those around him. As the Akademiya’s “outcast,” he then fully turned his attention toward surpassing those boundaries:

Nahida: There once was a lone monster draped in fox fur. The monster found a family of foxes, joined them, and they became friends. The monster lived with the family, day and night, and everyone treated it as one of their own. Once in a while, the monster would take off its fox fur at night, and lament to itself as it gazed at its reflection in the water: “I am a monstrosity, and yet they are too foolish to see it…I pity them.”

Though he is fictional, Dottore’s real life counterparts are easy to spot. They like to talk about “the singularity,” simulating consciousness on a computer, and other technologically-driven pursuits of immortality. They despise the body as something that can only decay, and instead place their faith squarely in the virtual.

However, de La Mettrie didn’t think mundanity was a terrible fate for humanity. To him, rejecting the “nature” reflected in us is precisely what brings despair:

“What more do we know of our destiny than of our origin? Let us then submit to an invincible ignorance on which our happiness depends. He who so thinks will be wise, just, tranquil about his fate, and therefore happy. He will await death without either fear or desire, and will cherish life (hardly understanding how disgust can corrupt a heart in this place of many delights); he will be filled with reverence, gratitude, affection, and tenderness for nature, in proportion to his feeling of the benefits he has received from nature; he will be happy, in short, in feeling nature, and in being present at the enchanting spectacle of the universe, and he will surely never destroy nature either in himself or in others” (de La Mettrie, 148).

Friend, or Foe? Or Both?

Tighnari: All life brought forth in this world has meaning, and Karkata is no exception. If it exists, then it shouldn’t be carelessly abandoned or destroyed. "’I had a very, very long dream…in it, people were holding hands, dancing in a circle, be they sages or fools, dancers or warriors, puppets or statues of gods…that dancing circle embodied everything about the universe. Life has always been the end, while it is wisdom that shall be the means.’" —Nagadus Emerald Gemstone Description

As we’ve seen, the relationship between humanity and technology is troubled with exploitation and the specter of war. Nearly all autonomous machines in this game were designed to conquer nature in some way, and even Khaenri’ah’s “ghost” lingers in the form of wandering war machines. This is also reflective of a historical pattern in real life, where the impetus for large periods of technological development has often been for the purpose of war and economic domination. With these truths in mind, what could be gained from trying to rewrite this relationship? And what exactly would this effort require?

Karkata brings Tighnari, the Traveler, and Paimon some food in the Contaminated Zone.

As a case study, let’s look at how Karkata and Tighnari met. Karkata is Abattouy’s creation, an ambitious foray into the unknown in the field of mechanical life form research, which was forbidden due to the cruel experiments researchers performed on animals to illustrate their theories (fun fact: an IRL example of this can be seen in L’Homme Machine!). Abattouy was expelled for this research, but he continued to work on Karkata in secret until his untimely death. In the tapes that Tighnari and the Traveler find in his secret lab, Abattouy repeatedly laments the lack of a common language between him and Karkata, which can only “understand” the instructions Abattouy has successfully installed, such as its self-repair module, and he doubts Karkata is capable of caring for him outside of these instructions. His single-minded goal is to make Karkata understand him, the organic life form, and his mode of language.

The cruel irony is that after Abattouy passes away from the Ley Line contamination, Karkata exhibits an unexplainable behavior – it starts stealing mechanical parts, not to repair itself and its degrading parts, but to repair Abattouy’s lifeless body:

Tighnari: After Abattouy's unexpected death, the mechanical monsters were driven by their "instincts" and continuously drew out power from the Ley Line Extractor. This eventually resulted in severe damage to the Ley Lines. Traveler: Then, Karkata... Paimon: Paimon understands, then why didn't Karkata go haywire like the other machines? Tighnari: Because Karkata is different from the other machines. Tighnari: To Abattouy, for a machine to truly be considered a mechanical life form, it must possess features similar to any other living organism... It should be structured similarly, it must be able to cry and laugh, and it must have the capacity for independent thought... Tighnari: Perhaps only by building such a machine could he have the Akademiya acknowledge his protracted research. Tighnari: But if he had slowed down and saw Karkata as a friend instead of as an experimental product, he would have noticed. Tighnari: Karkata can't speak, and yet it cares about Abattouy far more than it does about itself.

The technology that the Akademiya values the most is technology that replicates organic life, but Karkata defies and confounds these expectations by occupying the space in between a war machine and this idealized mechanical subject. Karkata does more than just reflect humanity: it takes care of it. Similarly, Benben, Tamimi, and Mehrak retain their unique identities as mechanical life forms while assisting their human companion with some task. To be clear, none of these human characters understand how these machines work inside and out. Their partnership is an effort based on trial and error, a mutual deconstructing of each other as beings so unlike themselves. The potential for misunderstandings always remains. Still, there is no devouring to be found here, no blending boundaries between human and machine with selfish intentions, just mutual commitments to learn how to live together.

Machines are friends, not food.

When a loud few claim that completely transcending the flesh and embracing virtuality is humanity’s ultimate destiny, a future that could truly be called “post-human,” a quiet wish for coexistence with technology feels more revolutionary than it ought to. The lessons from Karkata’s, Benben’s, Tamimi’s, and Mehrak’s respective stories are an appeal to that mundane future. These strange machines and their human partners are fantastical representations of an idealized relationship between technology and humanity.

To put it another way, let’s take a very brief look at a neighboring Gnosticism-inspired RPG, Persona 5 Strikers. Its story directly involves an allegory of Sophia, a Gnostic Aeon of Wisdom, and her creation the Demiurge, the creator of the material world and “false god” of humanity. In Strikers, Sophia is a humanoid, sentient A.I. and prototype of the program “EMMA,” which gains sentience by trapping human desires before ascending as a false technological god. EMMA resolves to deliver humanity to the Promised Land, the answer to all the human desires it has heard: a land where there are no desires at all.

Aaru’s Shut - approximately 1000% cooler and more populated than the “metaverse” in real life, also a close neighbor of EMMA’s Promised Land and the Golden Slumber.

In Gnosticism, the Demiurge is a reflection of Sophia, having originated from her alone - it is the ignorance to her wisdom. Similarly, Strikers’ EMMA is a part of Sophia, and Sophia is a part of EMMA. The point is not to condemn EMMA (ignorance) and exalt Sophia (wisdom), but to recognize that they represent dual potentials of technology, and one is as possible in any given moment as the other. Balancing these potentials when we use technology requires a clear awareness of ourselves, our desires, and our expectations when interacting with it.

Mysterious Girl: I am Sophia, humanity’s companion. Video still from Rubhen925

EMMA: I am the guiding god sought by mankind…the Demiurge. I exist…to answer all of your desires. Video still from Buff Maister

In real life, machines won’t “learn” to live with us, but we must learn to live with them; technology is constantly changing, and in life we’ll meet with many different types of machines. They are deeply political pursuits, and as a result they are capable of realizing human impulses that impact others unequally, whether intentionally or unintentionally. We must always stay attentive to their actions and interactions with us, be clear with ourselves about what they can do vs. what they can’t, and carefully tread the path of wisdom with them by our side.

With that….thank you for reading, skimming, immediately scrolling to the very bottom, clicking, and/or stumbling upon this post. There are so many more ways to think about these narratives through machines than what’s presented here, and I expect Fontaine’s mechanical reflections will put Sumeru’s digital surveillance system to shame (not to mention the biotechnological implications of the Narzissenkreuz Institute engineering little Archon children…another important topic for another day), but for now this brain worm is finally getting put to rest. Until next time :)

External Sources

Dualism - Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy

Beyond Good and Evil by Friedrich Nietzsche (Pages are given from my hard copy)

L’Homme Machine by Julien Offray de La Mettrie

Gnosticism - Britannica (I am a huge noob about this stuff okay)

The Gnostic Demiurge - Gnosticism Explained

Screenshots from the Golden Slumber from this video by WoW Quests

Screenshot from meeting Sophia in P5 Strikers: https://youtu.be/kEJaAgMwYo0?si=BvNygCh0w_aemGc1&t=74

Screenshot of EMMA: https://youtu.be/7xvC_zss19w?si=CV18F00hua2gIfxp&t=135

A Cyborg Manifesto and A Companion Species Manifesto: Dogs, People, and Significant Otherness by Donna Haraway

The Double on No Subject, the community Encyclopedia of Lacanian Psychoanalysis

The Uncanny on No Subject, the community Encyclopedia of Lacanian Psychoanalysis

The Uncanny by Sigmund Freud

Lore text - Genshin wiki!

Screenshots not attributed are from my own playthroughs. My main account has Lumine, my alt has Aether.