#this world is leeching the concept of 'good' from me

[ashes-in-a-jar]

I haven't thought much about Jonathan Sims for long enough that I kinda feel like I've started thinking about him a little more divorced of the emotional attachment I might have had once. Because I just saw a post lamenting his slow descent into inhumanity and losing his identity, becoming the archivist rather than Jonathan Sims, losing his friends, his house, everything he loves.

But is that true? That put upon head archivist persona he had in the beginning, was that really him? The way I see it, real life has already leached him of any identity he might have had, he didn't really have friends, Tim and Sasha clearly weren't, as we saw in their season 5 recording. He chose to make them his subordinates over beib friends, pushed away Georgie, he became so desperate for approval that he agreed to take a job he clearly has no idea how to do, let his stress over it isolate him from everyone around him, had a desperate need to assert himself in the beginning of every recording as 'head archivist of the Magnus institute london'. Forget about even having a home, he often slept in his office for heaven's sake.

The way I see it, this story is about him finding himself, finding the perfect place for himself in this already doomed world that was already strangling him and everyone around him. He became the Archivist, no longer needing to connect himself to some godforsaken capitalistic institute to identify himself. found his role, he enjoyed its power, even admitted to it. He found love. He found purpose in trying to save the world. In the end he was surrounded with the friends he made along the way (as friendly as they could be under the circumstances). He was finally allowed to make real choices, have true responsibility over himself and not be some tired corporate worker, part of a tired pointless system. Sure his choices weren't that great, and getting there was through outside manipulation and his own ignorance and he had to suffer immensely and pay an awful price of what we like to call his "humanity" but he Became and found what we all look for - his calling.

"It's still me" he says in the last episode. Because he is. He lost nothing and gained everything. Even dying in his lover's arms.

Forget about being human. In the end Jon achieves apotheosis and truly becomes Jonathan Sims

[theorist-fox]

The concept of Bad Man Simon Riley who's aware he's a Bad Man™️ is one I hold very dear to me.

Masterlist 🦊

Simon Riley is, fully and completely, what people envision as a bad man. He's a convoluted character who carries a lot of baggage, and that same weight has crushed him into the beast he is today.

His reflection is his constant reminder of the bad things he's done and endured. And when you have such a blatant, ever-present memento of how dark you really are, it's hard to forget.

He doesn't bother putting up a facade. Won't help the lady cross the street, nor will he take a bullet for someone else. No one has ever done that for him, so it's only natural to give the world a taste of its own medicine. He doesn't even try; it just happens.

It takes him nothing to leave Soap behind in Las Almas and find shelter in an abandoned church. Sure, he'll cover for him—if the lad is fast enough, that is. Saving Alejandro afterwards is a mere ploy to make this blasted mission end sooner—true, no one fights alone, but he'd like to get out of there as soon as possible, thank you very much.

Barely brushes the concept of Price's injury when he faints due to the inhalation of some Sarin gas of sorts. Can only think that if he'd died, he would have to take the captain's place in leading the operation. A fucking bummer alright—but cap's fine, thankfully, right? One less thing to worry about now.

Won't try to start relationships, because what good can he bring when he can't even drop a kind word for himself? He's awful, inside and out, and he's aware.

What happens, then, when he's suddenly loved?

What happens, then, when you're sliding under his skin, pretending you don't see the rot and the grime?

The question of "why" is pinned to the front of his brain like an annoying leech that plagues him day and night.

On the couch, you're absolutely unbothered by his dark presence next to you. You're just munching on popcorn and watching some film he doesn't even remember the name of.

"Y'should go," he says out of the blue.

You barely spare him a glance. "Film's not over yet."

No, that isn't what he meant, but he has an inkling that you've gathered that already.

"Ain't good for ya," he insists. "Ain't good for anyone, but that's a whole 'nother story."

You side-eye him from your end of the couch. "Self-deprecating at dinner time? Could you move it up the schedule a little, like—breakfast or somethin'."

He doesn't understand. Won't get through his skull. Share a home with him, and for what? What's he giving you that you're coveting so hard, enough to find it easy to snark back at a beast like him—poking the bear while wearing flimsy cotton shorts and a band t-shirt?

"Y'don't understand," he grits out. "I ain't a good man, love."

"Oh, I know." You say, popping a handful of popcorns in your mouth. "And?"

It irks him. Wants to bite off your head, but, surprisingly, he still has morals, and he wouldn't even dare touch you with ill intent.

"Don't act stupid, now." He warns.

"Ain't acting stupid." You reply as if there is some obvious thing he isn't getting. "You've done bad things, and bad things were done to you. That it?"

He hums as a frown paints his face.

"Should I love you less?" You go on, "Or not love you at all?"

"The latter."

"Wrong." You add as soon as he responds. "Wrong, because that's what you believe, not the truth."

He cocks a brow at your apparent arrogance. A nod in your direction, "What's the truth, then?"

You place the bucket of popcorn on the coffee table. "Truth is that you're human, Simon."

Now that's a word he wouldn't associate with himself.

Monster. Beast. Bear. Wraith, or demon. Ghost.

"As a person, good and bad can coexist—there is no such thing as night and day." You go on, seemingly unaware of the turmoil you've unleashed on his poor heart.

Keep saying the word person around him this often, and he'll start believing he is one.

So, you have seen the rotten flesh and the mud coating his insides. You have buried your hands in his viscera and coated your skin with his blood and the one he's spilled.

You know, and yet you're here. You're here because you've also seen something else, something he's not aware is there.

Same thing that made his heart lurch when Price wasn't waking up. Same thing that made him hide, prone in the bell tower of a Mexican church, making sure Soap would get back in one piece.

Same thing that has him gaze at you now, with eyes that sting with clear, fresh water. No rotting liquid, no oozing pus, or sickening blood.

You shrug, "Maybe your sun is a little eclipsed, but there's that. I can still see it, y'know?"

You outstretch your leg. Press the tips of your toes against his thigh. The world is suddenly in technicolor, and his chest warms like a rekindled flame.

You wink. "And it's bright as hell, too."

[merakiui]

Hi Meraaaa, 🦈 anon here, it's been a while!! How have you been?

I've been lurking in the shadows, but haven't been feeling in the Twst mood lately... Until the Mermaid Fin cards that is 🫣🫣 Neither of them came home sadly, but oml those groovies!!! They rly decided to feed us well after making us wait so long for them,,,

How dare they censor beloved eelussy though!!! Show us the goods if you were going to put Jade in that pose!! Speaking of Jade, I couldn't stop laughing at how he views Floyd and Azul, he's such a silly eel,,

That body swap concept with him sounds really fun!! I imagine at first he really didn't view you any differently from the others, but then you show some genuine interest in what he's doing in the Mountain Lovers Club and he falls in love instantly <33

🦈 ANON, HIII!!!! (≧ᗜ≦) I'm happy to hear from you again!! I hope you're doing well! As for myself, I've just recovered from a slight flu and so I'm feeling much better!!! Seeing the new eel groovies helped to heal my ailing spirit faster!! ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ

Censoring eelussy....... (◞‸◟；) one can only imagine what lies behind those bubbles,,, aaaa Jade in that sort of position with such a callous expression!!!! I need him to drown me in the sea and eat my intestines. orz he's too perfect and so unexpectedly funny. Dream Floyd and Azul are immensely silly. To think that eel couldn't get even more amazing. AND HIS LAUGHTER!!!!! JADE LEECH, YOU ARE THE FUNNIEST EEL ON STAGE RIGHT NOW.

AAAA YES!!!! That's brilliant... Jade who sees you just like everyone else and only truly warms up when you show persistent and authentic interest in his hobbies. He is so cherished. 🥺 and then you learn just how much you light up his world when you're in his body and viewing everyone from Jade's eyes!!!

[asexualbookbird]

insert Imagine Dragons Radioactive Gasp Here

Hi. Coming up for air. I'm surrounded by yarn ends and fabric scraps I'm sweaty and covered in paint. I was a tiny bit productive this July! Made lots of progress on the Irish Lullaby Blanket, painted our balcony, started a few projects I really shouldn't have, and oh yeah! READ EIGHT BOOKS?? Who am I. I'm twelve books ahead of schedule according to goodreads, eleven by StoryGraph standards. It's wild. It helps that my library is holding an adult summer reading bingo contest and I fully intend to fill out the entire board.

The City We Became by NK Jemisin ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- WAOW. I initially rated this four stars, but sitting on it and coming back to it now, it was absolutely a five star read. I would love to reread it, the world was intriguing, and the AUDIO NARRATOR WAS STUNNING! I do try not to judge the contents of a book by it's narrator, but what a performance! When library bingo is over, I'm listening to book two ASAP.

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Oh look! A Classic I actually enjoyed! I don't want to judge horror on whether or not I'm scared, because it IS kind of tough to get to me, but this was fun! I could see the spooks! Even if it wasn't spooky For Me, Personally, it was still a fun time!

The Butcher of the Forest by Premee Mohamed ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Oh. Ouchie. A shortie, but a goodie, I'm kicking myself for returning the ebook immediately because I would've liked to go back and reread bits of it if not ALL of it. A not exactly new take on fae, but an interesting one that I actually enjoyed.

Starling House by Alix E Harrow ⭐⭐⭐⭐- I did NOT intend to read this directly after Hill House but I am SO glad I did. THE PARALLELS!!!! The circular story!!!! THE STARLINGS!!!! I laughed, I cried, I yelled at Arthur, there were surprises I genuinely didn't expect, but made so much sense in hindsight. I don't exactly buy the romance, but I'll let it slide this one time.

Ghost Station by SA Barnes ⭐⭐- Two stars is Very Generous. And I'm sticking to it because the concept is still intriguing and if you squint there was some Leech stuff going on. Maybe I should just reread Leech. Sigh. Ophelia was hired to do ONE. JOB. To make sure none of the team members have Want To Murder Disease. And then Birch shows signs of Want To Murder Disease and she KEEPS IT QUIET BECAUSE *checks notes* HE KNOWS HER DAD HAD WANTS TO MURDER DISEASE. Everyone is stupid. They're scientists and everyone is fucking stupid. It wasn't scary, because EVERYONE WAS FUCKING STUPID. Biting all of them.

Thornhedge by T Kingfisher ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Oh T Kingfisher, you have never disappointed me, why do I read anything else. Another fun take on the fae! It's so hard to get me to like a fae book, so GOOD JOB KINGFISHER! I liked the new take on Girl Locked In A Tower, I liked that Toadling was surrounded by love and still encouraged to do what makes her happy. Again, I almost reread (listened. Whatever) this immediately just for funsies. Another banger from T Kingfisher.

The Sun and The Star by Rick Riordan and Mark Oshiro ⭐⭐⭐ - I've been waffling on this rating a LOT. Disclaimer that I haven't read any of Riordan's stuff since the OG Percy Jackson series, and that was ages ago so I can't compare this to that. This was a fun little book, but it felt a little heavy handed with the themes even for a middle grade. It doesn't make me want to read more, but I'm not mad I read it at all.

The Scapegracers by HA Clarke ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Okay. Listen. Look. Look at me. Was this The Perfect Book? No absolutely not. Was it a banger? Did I have fun? YES ABSOLUTELY YES! It's a book I could've needed in high school, but I wouldn't have been mature enough to appreciate it so I'm glad I have it NOW. Angry Queer Teen Girls will run the world. And I'm here for it. So looking forward to the rest of the series, I need to know what sort of mischief these girls get up to. I hope they curse another fuckboy. They deserve it.

BONUS! I also watched The Haunting of Hill House on netflix! One bingo square said "read a book then what the movie" and I really thought Mike Flanagan's Hill House was a movie but no it was ten (10) hours of spooky fucked up family dynamics. Also Nate Ford was there. Naturally. It was good! It was creepy! I wanna watch it again JUST FOR THE TREE HOUSE. I was skeptical when I first started because who the hell are you people (Steve, Shirley) but no it was fun! But also. Fuck Steven and Shirley. Congrats to Theo and moving in with her girlfriend of one week, peak lesbian stereotypes. Biggest complaint is with Mike Flanagan and his need to not only kill cats, but get close up shots of said dead cats. What's up with that my dude. What did cats ever do to you?

Plans for August (how am I saying that) are The Bone Season side by side comparison with the first edition and the tenth anniversary edition. I'm counting that as two books, I think, because it IS two books, and looking at them next to each other, there's a pretty sizable difference in page count! No clue about word count. This is part of book bingo (reread a book you didn't enjoy the first time), and this has helped me realise that I've been avoiding this for a Reason. I truly and surely did not enjoy The Bone Season and have no desire to experience that again. Don't know what to do with this information. So. I'm rereading it. Yay.

I have a few sewing projects I'm working on, and I am SO CLOSE to finishing the Irish Lullaby Blanket! It's exciting! So lets go!! Bring it on, August!!

[ryuzakemo128]

I hear the train a-comin', it's rolling 'round the bend

Pairing: Joel Miller x Hitman! Australian! Female Reader

Content warnings: Graphic deaths, established relationship (aka Joel is aware of her), swearing, betrayal, age gap? (reader is 31 and Joel is 40+ years old). No mention of y/n.

Words: 684

Masterlist

Credit for dividers (& template): @cafekitsune

Note: Female reader is read to be tall, aiming to at least 6 feet 4 inches tall, possibly taller if you wish to view it that way. Boomer is your nickname in place of y/n.

Summary:

Hands that took lives even before the collapse of the world.

You killed enough to know how to get what you want without having the notion of guilt tearing up your insides.

The human mind is truly the most, if not one of the few, the scariest things of all. You are proof of the concept. Providing, killing, taking, and giving. One murdered man here and a life saved there. All given by the same hand.

Hands that took lives even before the collapse of the world.

You killed enough to know how to get what you want without having the notion of guilt tearing up your insides.

Heartless? To some, you might be.

To others, you are selfless as they come.

Perhaps rough around the edges with a distant, cold stare.

One that couldn’t care less whether you would be alive or dead tomorrow.

Deeming yourself ‘dead’ already and everything now is a fever dream.

“You enjoy talking about things you know nothing about. Pathetic, really, it makes me wonder what self-gaslighting it took to make yourself believe you were any better off than most others. Good for you. You fucked it up, now you have blood on your hands, and where did all of that bring you?”

“Right. Where. You. Belong.” each word a stab to his senses. You weren't going to take a betrayal from your supplier lightly. A mistake to get him involved. A mistake to think you wouldn't notice the change in his demeanour.

“Back to me”

The chill in the air was subtle enough to prove she wasn't fucking around any longer.

“One thing perturbs me, though. Like a leech, it won’t stop bothering me, did you or did you not acquire help from outside the confines of your trade routes?”

“Are you the reason five of us are now dead?” your pointed questions thrown out like they were bait to throw him off guard. Likely because of your upbringing. Can’t trust someone you don’t know, can you?

He couldn’t hear the trader’s responses, his answers to your questions. He silently hopes you choose to be somewhat merciful to the trader he undoubtedly double-crossed. Yet he knows who you are. What you are capable of.

You would have been a doctor, a forensic pathologist and a hitman. Dealing with death in both aspects. But now you’re something else. Something more.

Something he doesn’t know what the name of it is or if there was a name for what you were becoming.

Monster? Perhaps.

Murderer? Depending on the context.

Paranoid? To a certain degree, everyone is. Especially now.

A guttural scream, a gurgling sound of blood, betrayal was a betrayal. The five bodies were proof of the trader’s ignorance, according to you. Plunging your thumbs into the sockets of his eyes, worming their way down to the innermost core of his skull. Twisting his neck until the snap cut off his cries and his attempts to claw his way out of your strong grip.

The man stood no chance against a woman of your stature, your looming height is enough to prove it.

The question is now: Who are you really? What are you trying to prove?

The old world is gone.

What are you trying to prove?

The words echoed in the silence that followed the trader's demise.

The room was a tableau of horror, the smell of blood thick and metallic, a stark contrast to the cold, sterile environment of your former life.

The man's lifeless body slumped to the floor, a macabre testament to your ruthless efficiency. You stared at your blood-soaked hands, feeling a strange sense of detachment from the scene you'd just orchestrated.

'He deserved it.' you think. 'Five dead because of him.' Your heart was racing, but your mind remained eerily calm.

You took a step back, surveying the grisly scene with a cold, analytical eye. The trader's betrayal had been a mistake, one that would cost him everything.

You had no patience for traitors in this new world.

You had no patience for those who play with the lives of others.

A white sheet had been draped over the top of the body by the time Joel walked into the warehouse. Across from the body, ‘Dead men tell no tales. I'm watching. Always watching.’

[beevean]

I remembered a post I stumbled upon a while ago. It was a gifset of that moment in NFCV where Carmilla strokes Hector's hair and says "You are mine now, Forgemaster. You have nothing else but me."

But what really made my neurons go into overdrive was the way the person tagged the post.

"I am not yours. I am not anyone's. - Hector & Carmilla"

Would you believe that this one singular line made my brain fire up like fireworks? This is a brilliant way to convey the parallels between the two characters! Well. The potential parallels, since Carmilla is hardly relevant after S2 :^)

It made me think of how the story would have gone if they kept Carmilla as Hector's antagonist and Lenore and the other two were never introduced. (when you think about it, Lenore's main purpose in S3 was effectively hijacking Carmilla's place: while I prefer her concept, narratively speaking she shouldn't exist. I'm not even being mean when I say it. In a hypothetical rewrite, I'd fuse the two characters)

I found some Hectilla fics, mostly written pre-S3 when fans still believed she'd have a bigger role. Needless to say, they're mostly BDSM porn built on a generic dommy mommy/subby puppy dynamic: while Hector's attraction to Carmilla can be explained with anything from "she's hot and charming" to "she's the only one who makes sense in the court and the only one who cares about my work", no such depth is given to Carmilla. She likes Hector because... he's pathetic and breedable.

So, I propose another angle.

If the ideal Lenector that only exists in my head is built on lies, treachery, and shared misery with a hint of growing mutual empathy that nevertheless never allows them to overcome their resentment... the ideal Hectilla is built on fear. They are both afraid of each other, but need each other for their needs. They are also both afraid of the world, it's just that they react to that fear in different ways: Carmilla by attacking first, Hector by hiding and fawning.

And making Carmilla a creature of fear would make her so, so much more interesting, and allow her to be a real visceral victim of trauma and not just a flat radfem stereotype. A lot of what I say here is inspired by this brilliant post by @chumpovodir!

Carmilla sees every man as a potential threat. An old man turned her and kept her as a pet, showed her that "vampiric love" that she has internalized but despises when it comes from men, and other men attacked her kingdom to destroy everything she built, and other men wanted her to die because, well, the nerve of that woman, thinking she could be in charge. She finds Dracula disgusting for being, in her eyes, like that old man who ruined her life, an insane destructive leech good for nothing. She loathes power-hungry men, violent men, men who think they're in charge and can toy her as they please.

Hector is the opposite of that. He doesn't crave any power: he wants to be left in peace. He craves, as it becomes immediately clear to her, acceptance. He's easily swayed with a few nice words, and even when Dracula dies, he holds no malice in his heart.

He's young. He's cute. He's a useful idiot.

The broken little girl in her still sees him a threat, because one day, he might grow up and become a real man, with their fangs and claws and thirst for power.

But - and this is the important part - the threat is now curbable. Hector placed himself in her hands, and she has the power to do with him as she pleases.

Carmilla has put herself in the position of that old man enslaving a cute girl for his sick desires. However, she thinks she's justified. It's not cruelty: it's preemptive self-defense. She can make this dirty almost-man into a docile puppy who will never hurt her, and work for her, and give her pleasure, never pain.

He can be a prized possession, because he is smart and knowledgeable and has blasphemous powers and shares the same goal of turning humans into livestock. This man deserves to live, for now. As long as he never thinks of harming her. As long as he remains a puppy forever. As long as he's hers, because only she deserves to have stuff and other people.

Carmilla takes pride in not belonging to anyone, let alone a man, but she doesn't see the irony in forcing Hector to the same fate that traumatized her. She doesn't see herself in him, because she did nothing to deserve pain, but he does, for the sin of being born the same gender as all the people who hurt her.

Perhaps she refuses to see herself in him, because the thought disgusts her too much.

But what about Hector?

Well, at first he'd cling onto Carmilla, because what else is he supposed to do? Sure, she tricked him and beat him to a pulp to assert dominance, but she still needs him, and her plans still make sense to him, and part of him still wants to hope that when she praised his skills, she meant it, even if in a selfish way. For a while, she becomes his world - a cruel world, but a stable one.

But then... it will become his turn to claim that he's not hers, he's not anyone's.

Perhaps he'll use his parents as reference. He used to be afraid of them, and resentful for making him believe he should have never been born, and eventually he killed them in retailation. Carmilla, too, terrifies him, but because she swings from saccharine praise to violent rage. So there's hope to get the former, if he plays nice. And if he gets the latters, that means he deserved it, right? And besides, she finds him useful, right? Isn't that, too, appreciation? That is why, at first, he accepts his position.

When she put that collar on him, wasn't that her way of showing love? He understands that. He is still, at his core, that abused kid who looks up to authority figures who see him as dirt.

But she also hates him for something he had no control over, just like his parents. She fears him for no rational reason, and that fear clouds all judgment. She could turn on him at any moment. She's no better than Dracula in this regard. Carmilla is far less rational than she pretends to be, and eventually, as he's forced to be with her, he'll see that behind the mask of a confident predator, hides the heart of a frightful bird with a broken wing.

He'd see himself in her, and he wouldn't like it. He doesn't want to be feared at all, let alone for something he can't do anything about, and he doesn't want to belong to such a volatile person. That could set him to the thought path that'll lead him to desire freedom: most importantly, freedom from his traumatic past.

Perhaps, at some point, Hector would even hate Carmilla for what she does to him, fantasize about killing her and all. Then he'll realize that hatred, too, poisoned Carmilla to the point that she almost became pitiable. And hatred also poisoned Dracula to the point of making him irrational. He must avoid falling into the same trap.

Ideally, if Carmilla is doomed to become prey of her fear and hatred, Hector should find the strength to break free of his own, and learn to face the world.

i hate doing the showrunners' work for free :(

[deathbyoctopi]

making a rec list so I don’t forget

It’s more or less a year since I got started in the Chinese series, and I want to share Opinions with y’all!! 😁😁

I’ll place them more or less in preference order, with tiers and whatnot, so of COURSE we have to start with:

GOD TIER (aka. The absolute best) 

The Untamed. Amazing. Can’t say much without rambling for six hours, so I’ll just say this was a wonderfully addictive thing to discover. Saw the series and donghua, read the manhua and the books, got me hearing some bits of the audiobook too and I’m going insane with the fanfics and fanart. Dead evil overlord resuscitates and meets childhood classmate, they solve mysteries and go on adventures together, which both isn’t and is an euphemism. 

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DEMI-GOD TIER (because there’s really only one untamed):  

Heaven Official’s Blessing. Going with the books here, bc the gods immortal know when (If!) we’re getting a series of that one. But the story is interesting, the characters very likable, the main ship is downright adorable... And what little donghua we’ve got so far was delightful (praying for that one not to be discontinued, plzzz). Twink God with the worst luck imaginable meets piss-your-pants-scary Ghost King and they go on adventures together. Still an euphemism. 

The Dumb Husky and His White Cat Shizun: Another book/manhua rec, bc I’m looking just as forward to get the series, and who knows... This one has a base concept that comes straight from fanfic dreamland!!! In the best way possible, too! Reccomending this having read only 2 books so far, but it feels warranted. Evil overlord goes back in time to his youth and decides not to repeat the mistakes of his first life. The mistakes follow him, tho. Also, he’s so horny for his shizun, who he Hates™ very much. 

Word of honor. A series so bent on showing everything they can of the main characters relationship without showing it that it may have changed the gears in censorship ^^U I found the story a bit confusing, with a myriad sects and intrigues, but the character dynamics are so fascinating!!! (Speaking only for the series, haven’t read the book). Angsty repentant master spy with a Mysterious Past wants to go die in peace, but handsome leech with a Mysterious Past says otherwise. 

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MUST TIER (Very recommendable! I’d force-feed all those to you if I knew where you live)

Blood of youth. A series (maybe a book and manhua, idk) about a dumbass young hero that wants to prove himself in the martial art world, a mysterious youth obsessed with money and a handsome (and also mysterious) monk with almost godlike powers entangled in a conspiracy that reaches deep in the Imperial palace... Engaging story and characters, particularly the supporting roles, because even though they’re not the focus, they’re memorable enough to feel relevant. 

Scum Villain Self-Saving System. Books (NEVER mind the very short, strangely paced digital art donghua) about a man transmigrated to the martial art world from a trash webnovel he loves to complain about. He’s the villain there, and doesn’t want to be for the life of him precisely because it will kill him unless he can get in the main character’s good graces. And he does that. All too well XD

Sleuth of the Ming dynasty. A series (is there a book? I’d like to read it) about an official of the Imperial Government who solves cases. No world-breaking powers, no flying swords, just very real crime and clues and palace intrigues (the Imperial family are recurring characters). The main two characters are an absolute delight: the Detective, who is brilliant and socially clumsy, and nevertheless manages to leech off the Soldier to the point that gets in his house and manages to get a lifelong loyalty out of him. 

Thousand autumns. There’s a donghua, which is as weird and uncanny as the svsss one, but since the books got recently translated I’m going more with those. Handsome Horrible Man Extraordinaire harasses, gaslights, bullies and almost kidnaps Pretty-Faced Frail Twink, and they end up invariably together. I can barely remember the story, something something Book Of Martial Arts Awesomeness that everyone and their mother wants, but that’s irrelevant. The story is worth it just because of those two idiots. 

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OK TIER (Recommend if you’re bored and want something entertaining, but not life-changing)

Birth of the drama king. A half-serious, half-silly series about two warring sects that sic spies on each other. One might be too successful, almost getting attached to the other sect’s leader, because (presumably) they are long-lost brothers. The story is decent, but an absolute point on its favour is the (very handsome, if only a bit lackluster) role of Song Jiyang as doctor Yan. And the fact that he’s so serious, while being the Universe’s punchbag. Seriously, he gets hilariously abused in almost every episode. Love it.  

Till the end of the moon. A long, epic battle between good an evil with a romance so strong that can (well, ought to) defy destiny and the will of the gods. If it wasn’t for all the miscommunication!!!! >:3  This one was very difficult for me to place in this list, because what is good about this series is marvelous, and what is bad (boring or frustrating) is almost painful to sit through. Of the latter, the aforementioned lack of talking skills of these two endlessly suffering dumbasses and the epic battles, which do nothing for me, though might be great for other people. And the good things... if the whole series had been like the first ten or so episodes, this would be now in the demi-god tier. The premise!!! The execution!!!! The acting!!!!! Give me the whole early stage of Tantai Jin and Ye Xiwu’s marriage, up to that new year, and nothing else!!! After that, it’s a slow but sure decline.

Stick to the script. An extremely self-aware comedy sketch show with the transmigration premise and an almost surreal beat. The main point is of course Wang Haoxuan, but it also has good puns, quick humor and at least a couple scenes so absurd I had to laugh out loud. But the episodes are so short!!! I found that very distracting, they last only 2-3 minutes each. I enjoyed it MUCH MORE finding a compilation on youtube. It lasts 2 hours in total, so it’s very manageable like that :)

Be my cat. Another series with an absurd premise, and amusingly self-aware, but sweet and occasionally fun enough to be worth a watch. The plot is about a girl who receives from her cultivator brother (who’s gone missing) a sphere with a yao cat, that escapes and possesses the dying body of a young general. The resulting human-shaped cat forms a reluctant bond with her, and she enlists his help to find her brother and the other three lost animal spheres, with their respective yao that wreck havoc. 

Dance of the phoenix. A series about a young cultivator girl whose powers and memories are stolen, so she has to fend for herself while attracting an alarming number of suitors, old rivals and admirers. The plot is serviceable at best, and the characters not very interesting... but the effects are quite good, and damn my weakness, it has Wang Haoxuan too!! The ending was mightily confusing, tho. I have no idea what that was about.  

---

PASS TIER (Watching that wasn’t technically a mistake, but... ugh) 

Immortal Samsara. Yess, it’s well-made and well-acted, but the story is soooo slow!!! And soooooo boring!!!!! The character’s actions don’t make sense more often than not, she subtleties of their behaviour clashes with some very drastic and unreasonable course of action, the lack of communication in this one is downright painful to behold... Only the second third gets a bit interesting, the stakes are higher and the characters finally less stiff and more enjoyable, but bloody hell... It’s not worth it, not at all. 

[true-blue-sonic]

Good morning/ afternoon/ evening Blue :D

(for the hot take)

Honestly Sonic X is not as good as many people say. And not because of Chris (that for some reason gets a lot of hate). I just think that the concept is cool but the writing is messed up. Especially of some characters like Amy and Tails. Instead of Sonic's friends they made them his #1 fans😭 as if they wanted to make these characters annoying on purpose so that Sonic's the cool guy which really didn't make the show very enjoyable for me. But ofc it's sega

Good morning! ^-^

Strongly agree | Agree | Neutral | Disagree | Strongly disagree

I haven't watched Sonic X in ages, but I must readily admit that the first episode is one of my favourites... because Chris isn't in it for most of it, haha. (The actual most favourite is Defective Detectives and I just skip the part about the two worlds causing time to freeze or whatever lol.) I think that the whole premise inherently provides issues: naturally they'll want to give the humans attention (why else would they be created?), but that draws screentime away from the game characters, who I'm far more interested in. (Related to your statement, I think that is one of the reasons Chris is so disliked: he takes up roles that were filled by game characters, like at the end of the SA2 arc. Considering the fact X!Amy isn't the most charming of portrayals, a scene wherein she tells Shadow about how the world is good and people are inherently worth protecting could have shown a good side of her. But instead Chris got it, and I feel like people experience that as leeching a much-needed role from a character already not presented so well throughout the series.) And the incorporating of the game stories in the second season became rather messy, resulting in quite some unanswered questions (e.g. how Eggman was born on the human planet yet transported to Sonic's world and how Gerald managed to create an anthro hedgehog. Have those ever been addressed?). Furthermore, from what I remember, Sonic just spent a lot of time lazing around or doing his own thing before coming in at the end to help out. I don't think it's unfitting for him, but I agree that it feels like the other game characters thus often got the shaft to give Sonic his big hero moment.

But here I must once again reiterate that I just haven't watched it in ages and this is all from memory. I do enjoy puns and stuff and iirc the English show was riddled with them, so that's at least a point in its favour! :> But overall, I think I'd much rather have gotten an anime entirely about Sonic's world and the adventures to be had there, instead of incorporating the "real" world in it. But then also not how it was done in Season 3, with a lot of grimdarkness and stuff XD In that regard, I think the first season was "better" than the second: the stories were entirely original, whereas the second season was kind of "game plots but now with the humans put in them". I really enjoyed watching X when I first became a fan (it greatly helped with my English!) and I'd be more than happy to binge-rewatch it again one day, but in hindsight, I can also see why people dislike the show so much.

[tempobrucera]

Because I have enough and I usually don't talk about the anon asks in my inbox or anything that isn't fun on here (for reasons) but I have a limit. And this here is just ugly.

TW: Antisemitism, saying Ukraine is lead by a Zionist (yeah, Jewish people rule the world - got it), rape mention, literal death treats, ect. The list is long. Here we go, those are the highlights from about 100 asks or more, I am going to spare you the holocaust denial.

@anon - You're a clown. An antisemitic clown but you're still a goddamn clown and nothing more. I hope you're aware that I could take this to the police.

Discussing with people who feel the need to talk like this is absolutely senseless but maybe we can show someone else what the problem here is.

This is the problem: Jewish people are currently telling you that your rock icon (R*ger W*ters) on his pedestal is walking on antisemitic terrain and has done so for years. Not the first time Jewish people do so and are disregarded by people who don't know about our struggles or what we face. I told someone today that it's not good to talk over Jewish voices when it mainly concerns us, we might be few (open a history book - antisemitism didn't start during the 1930's) but we still have the right to be heard and to be threated like humans. I said this in a reply to a post and in DMs (which haven't really been answered, neither was I listened to - you can't apologize one billion time for "personal backlash" (......... you mean antisemitic hate death threats which don't have to do anything with me except for me being Jewish? Stop pretending this is "personal backlash") and was literally told, that they aren't talking over Jewish voices (you are - I'm not the first Jewish person pointing his tendecies out) and basically that it was disinformation. You're still talking over me.

So. We established that he used a pig with a Star of David on stage. People already pointed out ten years ago that this is antisemitic and he tried to weasel his way out of it with a half-assed explanation which btw doesn't make it better.

I am aware that Pigs is part of one of his bands concept albums and that they stand for wealthy, cunning people in office. He has said and claimed that it isn't the represent Jewish people. The problem is when you don't want to represent Jewish faith it is easy enough to not use the Star of David. "I have many Jewish friends" is an argument like "I'm not rassist, I have a Black friend", "I'm not a homophobe, I have gay friends". "it is almost inevitable that the symbol of the religion becomes confused with the symbol of the state" - No, you are the one who is confusing it. I have never stepped foot into Israel (while I worked for humanitarian aid in Palestine and Iraq (that's a story in itself) - when these countries where labelled active war zones), but I'm proud of my Jewish heritage. Stop confusing Israeli (government) with Jewish faith. Most Jewish people live outside of Israel. The other problem here is that "Judensau" / "Judenschwein" (Jewish pig) is used as an insult, especially by Nazis and people who are leaning towards antisemitism (you might not know that as a person who's not Jewish but I've heard this enough times growing up), so putting the symbol of Judaism (not goddamn Israel) on a pig isn't the smartest idea by default. In Germany and Europe, in churches and paintings, Jewish people were often depicted as pigs or Jewish people sucking on a sow (I can tell you, not in good faith). Furthermore have Jewish people adjectives like "wealthy", "cunning", "manipulative", "dirty" or that they "secretly run the world" associated with them for millenia. So putting the Star of David into this context is not a smart idea. Not at all, because it's heating up antisemitic rhetorics and resentments. You might not want to be associated with Nazis but I can tell you, Nazis will always be happy to associate themselves with you and they always do, I have seen them leech onto less than this.

He also claimed that the U.S. is being controlled by Jewish Republican donor Sheldon Adelson and described him as a “puppet master” who is “filling the coffers and pulling all the strings” on U.S. policies. Which brings us back to the antisemitic believe that Jewish people run the world. If you think, he said something like this only once, no he did it more than once over the years. (Also more than twice, or three times, honestly I STOPPED counting).

"Waters repeatedly promoted antisemitic conspiracies and themes, including that a nefarious “Israel lobby” prevented the election of Jeremy Corbyn in the UK" - this interview is from this year btw, not ten years ago because you all so fixated on how long some bullshit is ago.

"(Sheldon Adelson) believes that only Jews – only Jewish people – are completely human, that they are attached in some way… everybody else on Earth is there to serve them" - That is a quote out of the interview from this year. He's talking about JEWISH people, not ISRAEL. You get what the problem here is? It doesn't matter that he apologizes anymore, he does it so often, his apologies are fucking worthless at best at this point.

He also implied Israelis / Jewish people are kind of responsible for George Floyds death (yes, Jewish people run the world, it is getting boring)

He called verified reports of Beijing’s enslavement of Uyghur Muslims and massacre of Tibetan Buddhists "absolute nonsense".

I don't know how much bullshit has to come out of one single person that you might think, maybe I shouldn't support this.

All of this leads to another problem. You can always say stuff like "I don't agree with everything this person does", "I don't agree what he said about Ukraine", "I can disagree and agree with some one" (Yes, but you're automatically treating some people as lesser with this view, congratulations. One good thing doesn't make the other things better or excusable). The problem is that there's also other people who will be like "Thank you, but I agree with the view on Jewish people and I think the same on Ukraine" and in a few hours you will have a person under your post that says Ukraine is being lead by a Zionist (yes, Jewish people rule the world, we got it). And then you don't even have the balls to call this out or you think the same, who knows. And people who feel encouraged to send death threats, are denying the shoah, and so much more. This is the problem, if you think it's okay on a small scale, people will use it on a big scale. If you really don't see one problem with any of this, you're the problem, not me.

And for fucks sake: Stop getting on people's nerves who talk to me, are nice to me or reblogged my previous post.

[s1ithers]

finished da:o at last. thinking about my assortment of half-developed warden ocs who never quite gelled the way hawke did and i feel like it's partly that i never hit on a sequence of endgame choices that really felt like a payoff. da:o is a such a great build-your-own-blorbo kit, you get such juicy character concepts out of the origin choice & reactivity but i'd always get an oc to mid-late game and feel like they were a bit dressed up with nowhere to go bc the ending just doesn't... really cap their arc in a way that feels satisfying

there's some good crunchy episodic drama contained within the treaty quests but in terms of the overall structure, the warden hits their lowest point at the beginning and you spend the game powering up until you win, pretty straightforwardly depending on your choices. like yeah the dark ritual is edgy sexist bullshit but you need it, you need something there.

like the first 2/3 are a great arc. hero leaves home in exile, goes around finding friends & adventure, returns home changed by said adventures, confronts their past, wrenching emotional ordeal etc, moves on as their new actualized self to take on the big bad. which is great except everything pretty much comes up warden from there on out. you need some kind of climax crunch to test that actualized self, another pain point at the end

which they tried to do, it just falls a bit flat for me. i've heard the 'grey warden must die' twist criticized as feeling sprung out of nowhere but i don't mind that so much. between the whole 'in death, sacrifice' thing, duncan & jory, sophia dryden, etc, i think it's pretty well set up that this is an organization with dark secrets that their two bumbling junior recruits know way too little about. i do think it's a bit stock. 'will you die to save the world?' just isn't that interesting, there's a plain right answer both ethics & genre are pointing you to, which more importantly is not really tied to your character at all.

like say what you will about da2 but the ending pays the hell off bc it forces hawke to show who they are. a person could justify making either decision, so who your hawke is matters. every bit of character development is leading up to how they'll jump in that moment

and then after dropping the warden sacrifice on you, dao immediately offers you an escape hatch, which, unless your warden is really fussed about blood magic or whatever, of course you're gonna take. structurally i think this decision is leeched of a lot of potential by the fact that both options are coming as new information.

new guy we just met: wait! there's a problem! morrigan: don't worry i fixed it! okay! on we go then! thanks morrigan

(could've been cool if alistair knew a warden had to die from the start, so you're struggling to go on with this journey, knowing how it ends, really get some time to stew on that before morrigan drops her bomb. the full relief of a stay of execution, plus 'you're only telling me this now?!' gives the warden a somewhat more sympathetic reason to feel betrayed than like, self-centered dickishness)

but more than that, the options the game gives you to object don't acknowledge what's really so awful about it. like you get 1) dark magic scary. part of a pattern in how i think this franchise tends to (mis)apply blood magic etc as a narrative device, but, like, good option to have for roleplay. 2) is oldgodbaby a bad idea? valid question but doesn't really go anywhere (and is more or less locked into being an anticlimax, can't be world-shaking as a choice-dependent outcome)

but like that post that was going around. what it means for morrigan is so wrenching. is it what she wants for herself or is she still acting out her mother's will? can the warden know, or believe they know? if they ask her to go through with it, are they complicit in flemeth's abuse? or are they overriding morrigan's agency if they refuse out of concern for her? how does your warden's origin & personality frame how they see this - what they're entitled to, what they owe, what they believe about duty & autonomy & respect, they're relationship with morrigan, & with magic, & their own impending death.

these people who are so young & so traumatized flailing around hurting each other in their good intentions. the dark ritual as this awful act of desperation & mixed motivations & regret that tears this hard-won friend group apart (especially if alistair is involved). saving the world as a good clean victory over evil in the grand scope, at the cost of this cataclysmic sacrifice on the personal level - so intimate, so devastating, so small. THAT'S drama.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Have you spoken about your thoughts on jungkook using Jimin as his inspiration for his concept for seven or purposely trying to connect their concepts? Do you feel like trying to connect their solo work is too much?

How should I answer this? There is such a thing as inspiration. Artists get inspired by other artists or their work. Tarantino is such a good example (and basically every filmmaker, nothing exists in a vacuum, intertextuality/referentiality, etc). And they always make it their own. That's usually the case with art. Unless it's blatant plagiarism which is not the case for the situation we're talking about.

I think it has to do with current fashion trends right now and both Jimin and Jungkook choosing/agreeing to the latest trendy looks. Or working with similar teams? Coordinating together, talking business as colleagues too? Even Jimin took inspiration from Jungkook's hoodies when he designed his own for the merch project they had last year.

If indeed Jungkook was a lil copy cat for some concept photos, I bet Jimin teased him and did not see him as the enemy leech (I feel like puking just thinking about stupid solo stan language). I personally thought it was funny when I saw some similarities, made a few jokes and moved on. You know, like a well adjusted member of society.

I don't think the song Seven had anything to do with Like Crazy, Face or whatever other comparison was there. To me, it's all far fetched and unnecessary. Jungkook liked a song about fucking and thought this is his way of showing the world he is indeed a grown up and not some baby made to wear a bonnet at fansigns. Like, that's it. There's no endless layers of interpretation. I'm not wasting my time writing essay about mediocre songs. And I also won't force myself into believing or creating a connection between two songs if I don't believe there is one. There's plenty others who did it for their own reasons.

Not everything these people do must be about each other. It doesn't add or subtract from their personal relationship. I guess it's interpretation here and I can't argue with that, but I don't need to think that Seven is about Jimin or connected to Jimin's song just so I can add another piece to prove they might be fucking. There's plenty without, lol.

[merakiui]

The horror movie vibes from your last Jade thought… shivers. Like, I know a lot of your work is unsettling, but this one really takes the cake in how much it bothered me (in a good way!). It’s totally in character for Floyd to forget and for Jade to play along, but my gosh, poor reader is gonna have trust issues for the rest of their life, haha.

I have to ask, though, what does Floyd do when he comes back and finds the apartment empty? Is he curious and ask Jade? Or does he shrug it off and assume that the reader knows that the Leeches are well taken care of and can pay for the lease?

I know you’ve talked about Floyd coming for reader’s rescue or at the very least going again Jade in the Sk! Jade series, but would he do the same for this recent thought?

I always love reading your yandere stuff and coming to the conclusion that as usual, Floyd is actually the most sane in thr group.

Aaaa I'm so happy to hear that it was unsettling to read! I think Jade works really well in eerie plots. I have so many concepts for him: snowed in at a cabin in the mountains with an attractive stranger (Jade), falling down a steep slope in the forest and breaking your arm or leg, so you have to rely on Jade to help you (but his intentions are not so nice), mafia bosses Jade (and Floyd) subtly harassing the poor maid at the maid café they like to visit in the daytime (imagine trying to draw a cute cat on his omurice and your hands are shaking because he's so scary. T_T), etc etc!! Many ideas for Mr. Jade. <3

Knowing Floyd, he probably wouldn't think anything's immediately wrong. Since the semester has ended and his study abroad has wrapped up, it makes sense that you might have moved out or left for the extended break. Floyd probably asks Jade if everything worked out with him and you, and Jade smiles serenely and tells him that the two of you got along swimmingly. Floyd's happy to hear that. It wouldn't be very fun if his brother couldn't enjoy his time at the apartment if he didn't get along with you. He probably shrugs it off and leaves it at that. No use dwelling on something that's no longer important. Floyd is too carefree sometimes. ;;;

I think it depends on how close you are with Floyd in this concept. On one hand, this is his brother, who he's known since birth, and you're just...you. He's only known you for a year, maybe two, or maybe even less. If Jade's happy with you, then Floyd doesn't want to ruin that. Besides, kidnappings don't really faze him. The family business is not exactly the sweetest or most legal thing in the world, so he's probably been exposed to lots of bad things and has just become desensitized. Knowing Jade, he's probably taking really good care of you, both with his own funds and their family's money (which is quite the large fortune). Floyd knows Jade will take good care of the things that are his, so it's not like you're living starved and naked (though knowing Jade, that could be a punishment. orz).

I also think Floyd's views of love and affection are more rooted in his upbringing. He doesn't love like humans do. He loves like an eel merman would because that's how he was raised. He knows more about the way of life in the ocean than he does humanity, so sometimes love is a little more aggressive under the sea. But that's just his normal! All merfolk are a little predatory; they're natural-born hunters, after all. And sometimes love is scarce in the sea. Some merfolk won't ever find love or reproduce, so it's important that they find someone they can cherish forever. Floyd won't take that away from Jade, but if he likes you as well he'll definitely want to share.

[celestialholz]

ok you already know what TF is going on!!!!

tm 45 venoshock (evil). tm 146 grass pledge (gay). tm 95 leech life (divorce snail). tm 156 outrage (eviler). tm 115 dragon pulse (because if nobody else does it i will).....tm100 dragon dance (🥰). do not feel obligated to do them all these are just a compilation of the concepts we talked abt

Oh Austro, darling. I'm about to murder you in cold blood. ;) A tale in three parts for you, my good pal. The last one of these three was also requested by dear @xfriki26, and the other two here will be under a read more to respect space. Cross-posted to AO3 here as chapters five, six and seven respectively, welcome to a miniature saga of just about every genre going, which we shall begin with by killing y'all stone dead with:

TM115: Dragon Pulse

Beep.

Beep.

Brassius thinks he may be going mad. He’d thought that a multitude of times during his ice-cold, static darkness, but this is a different form of insanity: a hammering, a fractured, desolate, desperate despair.

Beep.

Beep.

He wants the beeping to shut up almost as deeply as he cherishes its rhythm, its sheer brilliance. He could wax artistic lyrical on how fervently he cherishes the machine that affixes his sun to its true orbit at his side, paint it in the yellows and oranges of joy and the purple of dragons for its remarkable cleverness – wide, tender brush-strokes, gentle gratitude poured into every trembling sweep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

How ironic, he muses darkly, that Hassel’s heart should be the thing to fail – that loyal, stalwart, core of sunshine, that is so achingly full of acceptance and understanding and vibrance, that had dragged his beloved back from the depths of the shadows.

Between them, now, they can barely make a decently functioning pulmonary system. The breath of life, the heart of the matter – both irreparably scarred, merely patched over with bandages and craft glue and hope and the most blinding, frantic adoration. They’ve operated upon his love, as though he is a mere tapestry, sown and stitched and patched -

Hassel is not meant to be fixed. He should never be broken in the first place. He’d thought they understood one another very well, after fifteen years together. You stand tall, querido; I fall, me. Not you. Never, ever you, because how am I supposed to -

He chokes back a panicked breath, squeezes dull, greyed eyes closed. He doesn’t have contingency for this – he was never supposed to make any. This isn’t his role. And perhaps that makes him the world’s most selfish bastard, perhaps he’s awful and leech-like and unworthy of such light, but perhaps he’s also saved because he would swap them, swap them every single damn time – you already have my lungs, take my wretched heart as well, it’s better than watching this –

Beep.

Beep.

… He hasn’t even gotten around to asking him to marry him, after all this time. They’d had forever - what was the rush? The gap in Hassel’s family is glaring, he doesn’t want to invoke painful memories of people who would never wish to attend, and they are husbands in all but name nevertheless, promise rings long since sculptured from crystals and worn against their hearts anyway.

He hadn’t expected this. He hadn’t expected the chance to be possibly lost for all time -

Beep.

Beep.

Gods, how the hell does he deal with this every time it happens in reverse? How many hours has his world watched his own slowly fade away?

“It doesn’t matter,” Hassel had told him once, tears glistening in warm, adoring eyes. “It simply doesn’t matter. You are worth every moment of the agony, darling. You coming back each time is the only thing that counts.”

He tries, physically shaking, to hold such sentiments against his core, because his dragon’s always been entirely right. He is damaged goods too, now – he can empathise, now. And later, when muted sun meets frosty moon once again, all will be harmonious in the celestial sphere. The stars do not lament; they celebrate a joyous reunion, the return of gravity to a uncertain universe, an essential dual orbit.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

His role, flipped, is now to support – to shine himself, to endure, to treasure a recovery Hassel will make. You will make it. I need you. Always have done. And I will look after you, smotheringly, achingly. Oh, you’ll hate it, even though I will see the smile in your beautiful gaze and understand that you love it.

He breathes a quivering laugh, stumbling across his own tongue.

… Well, it is night-time. It’s his shift anyway.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

He clings to his sunshine’s hand as though it’s all that tethers him to the earth, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Come back to me,” he pleads, infinitely soft. “Come back and be my husband, won’t you dearest?”

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

TM146: Grass Pledge

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

“… Br…”

Brassius snaps awake from a light doze on their fifth night in the hospital, as though bidden by hope alone, to find a weak Hassel staring straight at him. Sunlight stabs at his frozen heart, piercing its outer shell instantly, and he breaks, fragments of ice shattering down around him.

“D-dear,” he whispers, heat pooling immediately in his gaze. “You’re here, you’re back -”

“Mm,” his beloved murmurs, coughing softly. “Just… just about…”

Water is poured by trembling hands, held to lips, tipped up ever so gently even as Hassel blurs before him, rendered briefly invisible by tears and heat and relief and gods, thank you -

"Br..." Hassel clears a now lubricated throat, and Brassius immediately meets his gaze - sunshine swathed by shadows, the darker moments before sunrise. As deeply grateful as he is to see the light, he curses its lack of luminence.

"Yes, my love?"

"... You okay?" He coughs again, and despite the sun's dimness, his concern is clear as day. "You... are too pale."

Brassius stares at him for a second, aghast, before dissolving spontaneously into tearful laughter, exasperation and absolute joy, and he's trembling, and dear heavens, why would it matter what he looks like -

"The sun came back out," he tells him eventually, as a weak hand clings to his as tight as it can, as he's watched with soft worry. "I'd been beginning to think it would never stop raining. I'll... I'll be fine, now."

"Good," Hassel murmurs, reassured; even as his eyes droop closed once more, and a thread of anxiety rushes back up his lover's spine, a gentle thumb runs against his in silent promise. Alright, now. "Wouldn't do... for us both to be old and broken, d-darling."

"You are no such thing," Brassius protests immediately, heart rebelling against the mere thought. "Look at you, querido. Sunshine incarnate."

Hassel murmurs a small laugh, cherishing the water that he's once more offered.

"Funny, you say that," he whispers after a further drink, a wonder held in his gaze. "I only... see one source of light, here."

Even as he's tenderly kissed, even after he drifts back off to much-needed rest, inspiration strikes his beloved, a sparkling of genius.

Oh, you clever, wonderful, miracle of a man. You conductor of moonlight. Where the sun meets the moon...

He makes plans, as he falls asleep himself: gentle, loving, delightful schemes, tears slipping beneath closed lids as he nods off.

/////////////

He prepares quietly, when they get home; sets the stage as Hassel recovers, buys the equipment, purchases the perfect jewellery, bides his time. Doting on his beloved is by far the more pressing matter, and thus it takes him weeks, but eventually...

They finish a homemade casserole lovingly prepared, just as day begins to shift; just as it begins to turn to night, he asks his beloved to head outside with him, into the garden that overlooks the shimmering beauty of the East Paldean Sea.

"My dear, where on earth are we g -"

Hassel stops instantly at the sight before him; at the ring boxes, at the arch strung over with vines and lights, at the strands of green and purple cord that sit between it all, tearful eyes slowly drawing to his nervous partner's.

"Is that...?" he swallows a sob, utterly rapt.

"It is," Brassius confirms, eyes scanning him, gauging his thoughts, reading softly a man he knows the soul of better than his own. "Should you wish it to be, anyway -"

He gets no further for a long minute, damp kisses pressed to his lips, over and over.

"'Should I wish it,'" he repeats, laughing shakily in disbelief. "And at dusk, no less. Where the sun meets the moon, you brilliant, brilliant individual."

Brassius chuckles, similarly breaking. "You'll forgive me my poetry, I'm sure."

"I will forgive you anything, my darling." He chokes down tears, conscious of time, conscious of his lover's artistic vision. He can cry later, and he will - oh, he will. He doubts he'll stop for hours.

"So, you will, then -"

"Yes, I will," Hassel tells him clearly, fondly, adoringly, trembling hand coming to a precious, flushed cheek. "Arceus himself could drag neither of us away, despite his best efforts."

They marry, as the warmth of ambient sunset glazes over them; hands wrapped in cord of alternate colours, the draconic for the biological and vice versa; they whisper nonsense vows, straight from their cores, babbled and pure and perfect; they adopt glistening emeralds or dazzling violets as the moon takes reign, and there are tears enough to proclaim the sea that spectates them flooded.

"Why now?" Hassel asks his husband afterwards, tears still glistening in his eyes, his forehead gently pressed upon his beloved's. "All these years..."

"I thought we had forever," Brassius tells him simply, voice thoroughly raspy by this point, clinging tightly to him, as though he might fall to his doom should he ever let go.

"We do, my love," comes the replying whisper, the utter certainty. "I'm sorry, for frightening you so deeply..."

Brassius sobs into him, believing him with his whole heart, and shakes his head.

"You were worth every moment of the agony, dearest," he promises him truthfully, burying himself into soft folds of fabric, and the softest man of all.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

TM100: Dragon Dance

It’s difficult to practice for a celebration, when one’s heart or lungs have had their cracks filled in as though via liquid sunshine; an astral kintsugiri leaves one less willing than they might have been to put their beloved through physical stress.

“Well,” Hassel notes tiredly as they take seats together, “come the moment, darling husband, we could just vibe with it.”

Brassius glances at him, bewilderment strewn through his grey gaze.

“You know, as in do our collective best, dependent on our emotions at the time?” Hassel’s expression creases in thought. “I think that’s what my students mean by it, anyway…”

The pair burst into soft laughter, hands automatically finding one another’s and gripping on tight.

“Everything will be wonderful, querido,” Brassius whispers, “because you will be there, and I will be right there with you.”

Hassel takes a gentle breath, and melts into his side, stinging eyes closing as he smiles warmly.

“Indeed,” he murmurs, content. “That’s all I’ve ever needed.”

“And I.”

Hassel kisses him, swallowing his tremulous voice, assuaging his lingering anxiety.

/////////

It is beautiful if mad, their celebratory dance. They don’t say vows – they already have, the words for them and them alone, sparkling in the intimacy of the dusk. They simply host a small gathering, fairy lights strung up across their whole garden now, Grass types mingling between fauna, guests somewhere between buffet tables, wine refills and comfortable garden furniture. Lilligant develops a quiet, blushing crush on Katy’s dear Heracross, who flexes happily for his smitten acquaintance; a far too competitive Breloom attempts to spar with a far too competitive Staraptor, who promptly and triumphantly puts the bird to sleep the moment he gets too feisty; Flapple doesn’t leave the side of her fathers, chirruping happily as a laughing Hassel feeds her cake with a wink and an indulgent promise that she’s only allowed a little.

“Have a heart, kid,” Larry announces dryly, as he plucks her phone from a whining Iono, who has been attempting to livestream the event. She tries to snatch it from the air, which goes about well as such a height difference might imply.

“Awww! Just tryna share the joy!”

“Enjoy it, instead. Live in the moment. Pick up tips for the future, when someone feels like putting up with you for long enough.”

“Hey!”

He smirks down at his pseudo-daughter, his face softening. “Trust me,” he mutters, glancing warmly at Katy, who’s giggling at her Heracross. “If I can find them, anyone can.”

It’s endearingly awkward and inaccurate when their dance comes, when they take centre stage; steps misaligned at points, gentle amusement tripping from their lips. Shoes are stepped on, but the twirls are dramatic, and the audience appreciates their stars nevertheless, cheers, sobs and applause raising from their friends.

“Doing well, my love?” Brassius whispers as he swept up from their bowed finale, being drawn into a gentle, loving kiss.

“Doing perfectly, my darling,” Hassel promises tearfully after a moment, nuzzling his forehead to his husband’s. “And you?”

“Can’t complain,” he teases, and they both burst out laughing until tears stream down their faces in utter joy. Breath is briefly pulled from lungs, exhaustion reigns, but nothing ruins their harmony, their victory, their perfectly imperfect wedding reception.

They may have to take tomorrow slow; they may have to take the rest of their lives at an easier pace, a gentle stroll into forever instead of a sprinting wildness - but take it together they will, every step of the way.

Got a request for The Technical Festival, which celebrates Ephemeralart and Vanillacupcakes through the medium of TMs? Take a look here; my askbox is open!

[shyuch]

This society is so goddamn utilitarian. (On an off-topic point though, the opening and ending of this anime is really good)

Immediate comments:

This concept of a crime coefficient reduces you down to your most null state: a statistic. The way you are treated by this society is not determined on your value as a person in the eyes of other people, but your value as a gear of a machine that is applied to a rubric. It does not matter whether you’re a victim or a criminal, the second you are out of line (picture above) you are out. You are no longer a good gear in this clock and you must either go to therapy or die.

To accentuate this point, by reducing you to a primitive form of what you are, combined with the painfully abundant amount of surveillance, we can see the whole structure of a Panopticism ideal play out. You are watched at all times, yet you do not know if you are being watched at this moment. You are a subject to this surveillance for all of your life, and yet it forbids you to rebel, even if there are thousands who think the same as you. The sheer hegemony of this ideal forbids any rebellion among the people, and even more it is not really a sense of Tyranny either, no one person is controlling this power. It’s a looming presence constantly pushing down upon you, making you feel the constant pressure of being watched.

Additionally, have you noticed how immediate things appear to be in this society? The numbers are trusted as gospel. It does not matter what you think; the numbers decide everything. Instead of due process, interrogation, or even asking questions, it seems as if the second you are deemed as any sort of “abnormal” you must be terminated. No questions asked, no hesitation.

Elaboration on Utilitarianism:

Using criminals to pursuit other criminals. Nothing in this society will be wasted. If you are deemed worthy enough, you are essentially recycled into something else for an objective; your bad traits turn into valuable assets for use in the future. Which reminds me of Nazi Germany’s Gleichschaltung. The difference between a utilitarian society and a more liberal society, to me at least, is that in a utilitarian one you are assigned an objective and you must follow that objective without falling out of line. You don’t have your own character development arc, again your worth is dependent on how productive you are as an individual to a machine.

Some Concerns About this Model:

I actually quite like utilitarianism. It can help a state grow a lot, and additionally prevent certain people who don’t want to work from leeching off of the state. However, Psycho-pass’ universe is too extreme.

- If you have been a good citizen since forever, and you do one thing wrong and it ruins the rest of your life, what stops certain people from just saying “f*ck it” and go on a murdering spree?

- Who determines this rubric of a crime coefficient?

The Role of the Internet & Separation of Body:

I feel the internet here conveys an escapism concept. Since you are in this extremely suppresive society, the only thing you can do to escape is journey into the metaphysical world. Notice how the murderer with glasses (Episode 5, forgot his name) would kill the owners of the avatars and possess them as an abstract being. Notice how he cites Plato in his rant right before he dies: Plato believed in a true form (souls) in which the world was run on that was separate from the body. This separation from physicality allows one to discover a truth about themselves unobtainable in the real world. However, just as quickly, it can become delusional and easily manipulated. This murderer was clearly the puppet of someone higher up (could this bring us back to Panopticism?) and he used this thought and this delusion in order to manipulate him to become perfect copies of his delusion, which, in ways, satisfies his need for something meaningful that pertains to himself.

Overall, this anime is refreshingly heavy and I’m enjoying it so far.

[xlerainn]

i've come to understand why i chose to settle here — why i linger while others fade. i was never good at leaving. i am a permanent leech in this familiar ground. but i have tried to find my way out, i did. and i was once, in fact, so close to getting out of here. but desperation is desperation. my heart, sentimental and stupid, never wanted the blissful luxury of forgetting. it will always find its way to paralyze itself to keep me firmly rooted in the clutches of things i promised not to outgrow. and the farthest i can grasp by far is only almost, like moving swiftly towards the door only to stop halfway when the knob is within reach. then i would tremble in attempts to abandon what i have always known. though i would falter as i watch you sink into another life where there is no remembering, where there holds no room for me. i'd swallow the ache for the moments we shared but now felt like less ours. and i will wonder how you do it. forget what once was, i mean. i'd wonder how you uproot yourself from the pages you've pledged not to tear off like wallpaper. but i'd try to reconstruct the pinch where all the promises weren't kept without being asked. i'd dismantle every metaphor my bones know and turn them into this and that until i've rebuilt them into something less hurtful and haunting. and i will feel compelled to express my remorse for struggling to discuss the concept of staying without talking about all the hearts i used to know but aren't with me now. bcs u see, on nights like this, i'd always find my heart tiptoeing up soundlessly like i'd be caught any moment as i try to visit them all in silence. i'd be as quiet as you used to before i started disturbing you, like a goddamn creep, you wouldn't even realize i was there. i would patiently wait for the crowds to flock around to be granted the chance to blend in and go unnoticed. i'd stay there, hold anything near me to support these flimsy legs from your presence that weighs heavier than my world. then i would dance away from there before my throat tightens and my words manage to claw their way out and call you.

i was never good at leaving. i'd linger in the exact spot you abandoned even as the world whirls. and i'd always have this hope in me that maybe all you're really doing is merely searching your way back.

07.23.23

[dangermousie]

OK, seriously, Ecevit is the most tortured Turkish show protag I have ever come across. That man has never had a genuinely fully happy stretch in his life - his childhood was spent with an abusive criminal of a father, then he went to juvie and was horrifically abused there, then he managed to leave all of it behind and become a successful lawyer (and what a feat that was, honestly!) but he still had unprocessed trauma and cut off himself from those who love him to survive and now the trauma is still there and basically, this is cosmically unfair because he is a genuinely good person and yet nothing good happens to him.

The way he remembers some of this childhood, a scene that I am sure repeated on a regular basis in that household...

It guts me that he always had a moral compass and that being a lawyer wasn’t something he fell into as a good profession or even as a result of jail trauma but his forever goal. And the thought of how much drive and determination and just inability to give up it must have taken to succeed but also to stay good - because it wasn’t just the jail that was shoving him into darkness of poverty that was an obstacle, it was the fact that he was being told from literally cradle that you should be a criminal and do violence and that is the default and that he never was surrounded by a good or nurturing environment even before jail. He managed to claw his way out of all of that as an insane success story but all that ability and that work to overcome background and trauma enough to succeed was not enough, was wasted because he ultimately is killed and despite all that goodness and brains and willpower, he cannot overcome all the tragedy and he never finds happiness and it feels so so very unfair. Because he was good and did everything right and even superhuman effort still was not enough.

And then he starts abusing Ecevit’s mom to make Ecevit take it. It’s like the whole world non-stop conspired to turn him bad and he fought and fought and earned himself a grave as a reward. That is so utterly depressing.

Ooooof. Is there any room in his head for anything but horrors?

And the fact that he has defined himself by opposition to his father and the guards/inmate and all the rest of the foul people in his life is so telling. I wonder if that is why he didn’t give into darkness/violence the way Bilal did, because it would prove them all right and would make all he thought he should be into meaningless dreams. Because of all his trauma, his sense of self is pretty ragged at the edges, so he needs at least that to hold on to - the fact that he’s leeched onto the concept of just world as his savior - he, after all that happened to him - I can’t. And the way the show itself dismantles it ultimately because in no just world would his ending be what the show gives him. But perhaps it’s not so much a just world but that regardless of whether the world is just he will hold to what he believes in for his own sanity, if the world is horror, it doesn’t mean he has to be.

This is his one way of holding on to something, in his trauma.

He really does define himself in opposition to his father.