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weaselle · 6 months

Text

RECOVERY

I spent a lot of my life depressed without admitting it to myself and then i spent a year so depressed i could hardly make myself do the bare minimum to keep my body alive, and now it's about 3 years since i got up from that lowest point and while i am still struggling with myself things are objectively a lot better.

and i just want to put a couple things i've learned, both to remind myself of how far i've come, and in case any of what i've experienced helps anyone else.

You can't run from the darkness

When you're super depressed it's easy to focus on how much you don't want to be depressed. When everything is darkness you tend to wish you could escape that darkness.

but you can't. The darkness is all around you. You can't run away from it without running deeper into it.

instead, follow the light.

don't think of it as escaping depression, think of it as seeking joy. Don't run away from the darkness, walk toward any lights you can see.

At first it will be very small things. The taste of a food. The way your favorite color looks. A smell you like. For me one of the first things i could find to remind me of joy was the way a warm shower feels.

I would just stand in the shower and lean into the tiny, tiny joy of that feeling. I would describe it to myself, how it felt good, what about it felt good. It didn't cure me, it didn't make me less depressed, but it was a little point of joy to focus on, to breathe into like a tiny candle flame in my darkness.

I would memorize that feeling, so that later, when i felt like nothing ever brought me joy anymore, i could think, no, that's your depression lying to you, you felt joy, however small, right there in the shower just yesterday. And, maybe there is more somewhere else.

Even today, it's been a hard week, i'm feeling a lot of hopeless and helpless feelings clamoring away at me, but... i have spicy soup. And spicy soup is a NEW joy. I found spicy soup joy as i was following any little light i could out of the deepest part of my depression.

I never put hot sauce in soup before then. But today i am drinking the broth of a very spicy soup and as much as everything else is complicated and difficult and scary and dark, there is a bright mote of joy in this sip of spicy soup. And in the next one. And the next. I enjoy it, i love it, all the more that it is new, and if i had given up four years ago, i never would have known this small joy, this new favorite tiny thing.

Who knows what other little joys i may find?

If you have come to a place in life where you have lost the knowledge of how to feel joy, it is important to remember that feeling joy is like anything else in life. The more you practice, the better you get, the more of it you can do at higher levels.

And there are only so many minutes in the day. The more of them you spend acknowledging what feels good, the less of them will be left for feeling bad.

you can't escape the darkness by fleeing from it, but you can find the light by moving toward it.

Chop Wood Fetch Water

Another thing i learned was a truth about the exercise advice you always hear.

For where i am in my recovery now, common exercise has very little impact. I don't really get the endorphins people talk about, and i don't tend to feel better about myself after i work out unless i already feel pretty okay about myself to begin with. i don't mean to say there is no point in me exercising, but, i walk about ten miles a day holding onto 8 energetic dogs and i do a fair amount of lifting and bending and stuff for my job, and it's fine but it's not, like, doing a whole lot for me at this point in my recovery (tho i do think more recreational exercise will come back into play a stage or two on in my healing process)

HOWEVER

There was a year there where i was only getting out of bed to go to the bathroom. When i was only able to force myself to eat just enough each day to stay alive because i'd made a promise to myself, and that promise was almost all i had left.

and the right kind of exercise is what pulled me out of that.

the RIGHT kind.

See, someone close to me needed help with a physical job. That was an important part and why this method is known historically as some variation of Chop Wood Carry Water -- it's intensely physical, which is important, but also, it helps the people around you. These days our personal communities tend to not need wood copped and water carried the same way. But you can get the same effect helping someone move all their furniture, doing all the yard work for your friends and/or family, volunteering for a charity that builds housing for homeless people, SOMEthing physically taxing that helps people.

In my case, my aging father needed help re-shingling the roof. So i promised i'd help.

So i got up every morning because he was expecting me. And i climbed the ladder because he would see me if i didn't. And i lifted and carried and hammered and worked hard. It took a week of six to eight hour days.

Right away, the fact that it was helping someone else made it not matter so much that it didn't feel like it was helping me at first. I couldn't deny that i was doing something good, that my existence had positive meaning, however small.

But very soon, it changed something fundamental in my state of depression. You can't do physical labor in the sun 7 hours a day without drinking a bunch of water. Without working up an appetite. Without getting very tired at the end of the day.

See, i had been struggling to make myself drink enough water, i was fighting to make myself eat even one small meal's worth of food each day, and i couldn't get a good night's sleep to save my life. And these things all made my depression much much worse. You think you get sad or angry from skipping a meal, consider being chronically undernourished. You think your mental state is worse after pulling an all nighter, think about what never getting a good night's sleep does.

But a couple days into this job with my father, and suddenly i was hydrated, i was eating full meals, and i was sleeping soundly at night.

THAT is what pulled me out of that deepest part of my depression.

So in a way, it was exercise that saved me. But not how people often say "have you tried exercising?" More like pushing myself physically to the point that my body demanded the things that previously i couldn't get it to want for itself.

Instead of forcing myself to eat i was craving food. Instead of staying up to all hours and then tossing and turning, i was physically exhausted and slept early and hard. (and, weirdly, being physically exhausted was somehow a relief from being emotionally/mentally exhausted)

Lastly

Healing often isn't noticeable while you're doing it

"healing is a process" is something you hear a lot, but i think it's more helpful to say something like

"Healing is like growing your hair out from short to long. You can look in the mirror every day and not notice it happening. And even when you can tell for sure it's longer than it was, you still can't really do anything with it, and it may seem pointless. But then one day you can tie it back in a ponytail and you realize how much it's grown and how many options are open to you now and you're really glad you stuck with it"

Now excuse me while i go meditate on the joys of my remaining spicy soup.

#long post #my life #idk maybe this will help someone #depression

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wlntrsldler · 7 months

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another fratboy! luke installment. percy comes to visit!

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 5 (final)

tagged poseidonsfavchild and lukecastell4n.

yn_yln: baby bro came to visit so we showed him around 🏙️

poseidonsfavchild: you did not buy a single book in that bookstore stop cappin for the gram

yn_yln: 😐 go home

poseidonsfavchild: yw for the last picture

poseidonsfavchild: i couldve lived the rest of my life without seeing yall like that tho

bethchase: dont listen to him. he talks about how cute u guys are when ur gone

liked by yn_yln and lukecastell4n.

lukecastell4n: HA I KNEW YOU LIKED US TOGETHER

poseidonsfavchild: i shouldve pushed u in the water and let u drown when i had the chance

gr0verunderwood: me and bethchase gotta go with him next time!!!

yn_yln: yes!! i miss my kiddos 🥹🩵

liked by bethchase.

clarisselarue: u and luke are sickeningly cute bye

silenabeauregard: RIGHT

poseidonsfavchild posted a story!

y’all lukecastell4n and chrisr0driguez live like rats wtf is this?

location: kappa sigma house at umm.

lukecastell4n replied to this story:

lukecastell4n: PERCY DELETE THIS

lukecastell4n: we haven’t cleaned yet :(

lukecastell4n: it doesn’t always look like this trust

lukecastell4n: we haven’t had chapter yet and we usually clean then

poseidonsfavchild: “it doesn’t always look like this trust” ive been here for three days and it’s looked like this the whole time

read.

bethchase replied to this story:

bethchase: oh ew 😭😭😭

bethchase: boys are so dirty

poseidonsfavchild: don’t group me with them

bethchase: i once saw a week old pizza in your cabin that had mushrooms growing on top of the mushrooms

poseidonsfavchild: sorry i didnt have time to clean my room i was too busy SAVING OLYMPUS?!

read.

yn_yln replied to this story:

yn_yln: this is why i dont sleep over the ksig house

poseidonsfavchild: I'm gonna stop u right there

poseidonsfavchild: i dont need to know any more about ur sleepovers

read.

tagged yn_yln.

lukecastell4n: recharging on a brunch date with my fav tridelt after the weekend we just had

yn_yln: hot

yn_yln: love you 🩵 spending time with u is a blessing

lukecastell4n: you’re the biggest blessing 🤍

silenabeauregard: AWWWW SHITTTTT

bethchase: CUTE

clarisselarue: KSIG PRES IS A SOFTIE

lukecastell4n: only for my girl 🤷🏻‍♂️

liked by yn_yln.

poseidonsfavchild: im having a hard time believing that hanging out with me for ONE WEEKEND warrants a “recharge” when ur partying every weekend

lukecastell4n: percy you almost fought the chipotle staff TWICE

poseidonsfavchild: I PAID FOR GUAC SO I DESERVE MY GUAC

yn_yln: YOU paid? 🤨

poseidonsfavchild: MY SISTER PAID FOR GUAC SO I DESERVE GUAC

lukecastell4n: and the second time?

poseidonsfavchild: i didnt like their vibe idk

gr0verunderwood: percy 🤦🏾‍♂️

tagged lukecastell4n.

yn_yln: being in love is fun when u dont have ur little brother in ur ear telling u it’s gross that you’re dating his idol

poseidonsfavchild: I CALLED HIM MY IDOL ONCE

poseidonsfavchild: i’ve grown. i’m no longer young and naive.

gr0verunderwood: LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER. he always asks what we think luke's workout is. he's tryna get like him.

liked by lukecastell4n.

poseidonsfavchild: I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE

lukecastell4n: i gotchu lil bro

poseidonsfavchild: don't ever call me that again.

lukecastell4n: i love you forever and ever

liked by yn_yln.

silenabeauregard: wait the second pic!!! where is that!!!

yn_yln: the museum downtown on 6th!

silenabeauregard: ty!!! charliebeck we need to go.

liked by charliebeck.

#hehe silly post #frances writes #luke castellan #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan pjo #luke pjo #luke castellan fanfic #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan smau #luke castellan x you #luke castellan x yn #luke castellan x y/n #percy jackson smau #percy jackson fanfic #percy jackson #pjo fanfic #pjo smau

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a-hazbin-reader · 8 months

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Oooo Vox! How about Vox with a unnaturally unlucky SO? And it's always been like that and how they died as well!

(Also calling Vox their lucky charm and how he's the most luck they ever had and needed)

Man Y/N really is unlucky landing Vox as a S/O-

I'M JOKING I LOVE THIS

Vox X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Second hand embarrassment for Y/N, Valentino being harmed

Description: ☝️⬆️

Not Y/N accidentally getting placed in Hell because of some unlucky mix up-

When you first told Vox you were unlucky, he didn't really believe you and just thought you were being dramatic

And sure you've had a few bad luck incidents that he's seen but nothing that really stands out to him

It's not until he's in a relationship with you that he realizes you weren't fucking joking around when you said it

You really are unlucky

In just a day you've somehow managed to trip and ruin one of Velvette's outfits and completely disfigure her model

You caught Valentino's wings on fire while trying to make a sandwich and when you went to put it out you made it worse by throwing oil on him

Good

You broke four of Vox's cameras, five of his stage lights and broke his chair all while he was live

And all that doesn't even begin to cover the mayhem you caused just last week

Somehow you keep running into Alastor and that's a whole headache in itself

You stress him out so much that if he had hair it would be white and falling out of his head

But Vox will be damned if you aren't just the most precious thing in his life, you're too adorable to get rid of

No matter how much trouble you are to keep

You're so fucking adorable Vox isn't letting you go

Whenever he starts to feel himself getting irritated with you, he just looks at your apologetic face and melts

"Sorry Vox...I guess I just need to stick closer to my lucky charm next time, huh?"

Fuck he loves you

"Just-get over here and hold still!"

Keeps you in his lap because it's the only way to keep you from causing trouble with your horrible bad luck

Not at all because he loves having you close and because his heart skips a few beats when you lean into him or because you smell so perfect-

"Vox? Your screen is all hot and glitchy...are you alright?"

He's fine, babe

Honestly can't get enough of you and genuinely believes he can keep your unlucky nature at bay if he keeps you with him at all times

You managed to trip and toss a dozen fragile, expensive things into the air???

Don't worry, Vox is scrambling to catch them all in a hilariously cartoonish manner

You got lost and now Alastor is contacting him and telling Vox to come get his curse out of Alastor's hotel??

Vox will be there and won't even start a fight, the hotel has been beaten up enough by you and your bad luck as it is

He's kinda proud of you for that one tho

He can't even be mad, it's so obvious that some supernatural force is out to get you

There's no way you're just naturally this unlucky

And he can't just dump you, no matter what Valentino says, fuck him

If he dumps you then you'll be at the mercy of your unluck and nobody will be around to save you

And Vox wants to be the one who saves you, he wants you to depend on him more than anything else

Whenever he sees the grateful look on your face after he bails you out of trouble he's reminded of how much he loves you all over again

Can't resist the urge to take you into his arms and rub his face screen on you, no he won't put you down

With him around to clean up your messes, maybe he really is your good luck charm

Vox really starts to believe it

But then your bad luck strikes again and his migraine is back

Good luck charm his ass

I REALLY REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE THIS ONE 💗

#vox x reader #vox hazbin x reader #vox hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x reader

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wriothesleybear · 8 months

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Nsfw alphabet for our bby Wriothesley

~a/n: Been holding off on doing this one for a while now but finally finished. I had a bad week so enjoy some smut. I think I plan to make another separate post explaining further about his kinks like I did with his favorite sex positions. Credit to @/multi-fandom-imagine for nsfw alphabet template. I did alter it a bit for my post though.

~warnings: mentions of sex, kinks, aftercare, fem!reader, MDNI!

A= Aftercare (what they’re like after sex): ofc the king of aftercare! This man will bring you tea, massage your muscles, pamper your body with kisses (especially the bite marks, hickeys, etc.), give you a nice warm bath, and praise you with sweet words. Literally will do anything you request of him. He is a giving lover and he wants to make sure you feel loved and are taken care of (especially if it was a long love making session or a little rough).

B= Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's): Everything (cheesy, I know). Nah, but if he had to pick one, your hands. He loves the way they feel on his skin. The way they gently trace his scars (also your lips). How they cup his face when you pull him into a kiss. How they comb through his hair strands. How they rub his back when he needs the comfort after a nightmare or bad day. His favorite body part on himself is either his arms or mouth. Arms due to his strength. Mouth due to him being good with it and making you feel intense pleasure by it.

C= Cum (anything to do with cum basically): Cums lots when he does. Warm, sticky, and a bit bitter and salty. Will kiss you even with his cum in your mouth (snowballing). He thinks its hot. Will also eat you out after cumming inside you.

D= Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): Even though his favorite body part of yours is your hands, his second favorite is your tits. Loves to grope them, suck on them (a lot), rest his head on them when relaxing, and even cumming on them. Although he usually cums inside you or on your stomach, when he came on your tits for the first time, the view of your fucked out expression, chest heaving while trying to catch your breath as his cum decorates your tits..fuck.. immediately made him hard again. If you asked him if you could give him a tit job, he'd just cum right on the spot. He secretly wishes you would ask him..

E= Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing): Im gonna go with the headcanon that he doesn't have much given he's been in prison most of his life and I feel like he is careful with who he gives himself to/who he trusts so it wouldn't be a surprise that he is careful with who he sleeps with. He takes that seriously and has to have a deep connection with someone before doing anything with them. So I could see him as not really experienced. He is a quick learner tho ;)

F= Favorite position: Made a whole post about it right here.

G= Goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.): He's chill so a little bit of both. He wouldn't mind if you were silly in bed but usually takes it somewhat seriously because it's special when you two have sex. He is likely to tease you as well and enjoys making you smile and laugh so he's okay with it.

H= Hair (grooming habits): Average. Has a bush but keeps it trimmed for you. Matches his hair color and highlights.

I= Intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect, etc.): Mostly romantic but can get a bit rough/dirty if you want him to. It can be a combination of both.

J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often): He doesn't need to since he has you but of course when either you or him are busy and can't see one another for a while, he would jack off if he really needed to. Always jacks off while imagining you touching him, using memories from previous sessions, or imagining what he wants to do with you once you see each other again. He can't help getting turned on when he thinks about you and misses you.

K= Kink (one or more of their kinks): Breeding, praising, squirting, pussyeating, some degradation, dirty talk, bondage, bdsm, blindfolding, edging, overstimulation, orgasm control, mutual masturbation, roleplay, cockwarming, doming and subbing, spanking, biting, snowballing.

L= Location (favorite place to do the deed): Usually in the privacy of his office or the safety of your home. Ngl, you both have done quickies in the dark corners of the fortress because you guys just couldn't wait. But he prefers his office or in your guys' home the most.

M= Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going): You don't have to do much. That's how much he loves you. Especially if it's been a while since you've seen each other. Just seeing you makes him want to kiss you. When you give him that soft look with that kind, gentle smile of yours. And when you do things for him, even small things that mean a lot to him, man, he just wants to pounce on you and show you how much you mean to him.

N= No (something they wouldn't do, turnoffs): Hurting you. Yes, he'll do consensual bites, the gentle hand around the neck with light squeezing (not exactly choking per say), pounding, slight degradation, etc. but if it really hurts you, he refuses to, even if you ask him. He saves the hurting for the ring or unruly prisoners who get out of line.

O= Oral (preference in receiving or giving, skill, etc.): He likes both but really likes giving. If we're talking about my Pussydrunk!Wrio, he can cum just from eating you out and can go down on you for hours. Wouldn't mind you sucking his cock but, god, just sit on his face please. Even though he may lack in experience, man is blessed and knows how to eat pussy with little practice.

P= Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.): He loves taking his time (even though it can be hard sometimes), but he has good self-control and wants to pamper you and enjoy all of you as long as he can. He will do quickies sometimes though. He can last a long time. He's got that stamina..

Q= Quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.): Usually likes taking his time, but will do quickies if you two don't have much time and he just really needs you. So quickies are okay with him, given the circumstances.

R= Risk (are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.): He's chill so he'd usually be open if you want to try something new. Unless it goes against his turnoffs.

S= Stamina (how many rounds can they go, how long do they last): Damn, strap in for a long ride. He's a boxer. Of course he's got a lot of stamina. He can't stop with just one round. At least 3 or 4, but can do more. Rounds are mostly long since he likes to take his time.

T= Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves): Wouldn't be closed to the idea of using sex toys, either for you or him. Would probably prefer on you. Just the thought of watching you come undone and lose yourself in pleasure while he holds a vibrator to your clit, making you overstimulated and squirt even (he loves making you do that).

U= Unfair (how much they like to tease): Enjoys teasing you sometimes, especially if you're busy doing something. Same goes for him. If you tease him while he's busy with paperwork, the wait will be worth it. But it does get on his nerves when you're teasing him and he's about ready to just take you, but then something comes up like a subordinate interrupts because they need his attention for something or a prisoner is acting up. He always waits for the subordinate to go on ahead and tells them that he will join them in a few, just so he can hang back and give you a few long, deep, passionate kisses while holding you close. Just a little something to keep you both satisfied in the meantime and something to look forward to later.

V= Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make): He's mostly normal volume but can be slightly loud if it feels too good and it's been a while. Especially if you like him to be more vocal, he will for you. Mostly grunts and moans. Sometimes curses, usually teases you or encourages/praises/guides you with sweet words. He just likes to hear your beautiful moans and cries so he knows how good he's making you feel. Plus it turns him on more hearing you cry in pleasure from his cock or mouth.

W= Wild card (random headcanon): Although he's usually the dominate one in bed and the one who is in control, he loves when you take the reins every once in a while. Tie him up, use his handcuffs on him, blindfold him, ride him, edge him, overstimulate him. Just take control of him and dominate him. He loves a woman in charge and a confident woman who knows what she wants.

X= X-ray (let's see what's going on in those pants): Mmm. Thick, uncut, 9' cock. A few veins covering his cock with a large one on the underside. Sensitive there and the head of his cock the most.

Y= Yearning (how high is their sex drive): Normal to low high. Has good self-control and is busy with work sometimes. But if it's been a while, it might be a little bit harder for him to hold back.

Z= Zzzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): He doesn't go to sleep until he makes sure you're taken care of. He also stays up a bit after you've fallen asleep, just admiring you and your beautiful features. He pats your hair or rubs your back as he smiles and holds you close. Sometimes peppers you with kisses or whispering sweet words to you even though you're probably asleep.

#wriothesley #wriothesley x reader #wriothesley headcanons #wriothesley smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact smut

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manicpixiefelix · 9 months

Text

head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}

Part 4.

Summary: While Oliver may struggle to fit into your group of friends as a whole, he seems to fit perfectly by you and Felix's sides. Farleigh grows more unhappy with this arrangement as the weeks go on, and finally Felix has enough of his attitude towards you, and you accidentally overhear. Upset at both Farleigh's attitude and how Felix had to fight with him on your behalf, Felix spends the rest of the night making sure you know just how much you're worth.

{ masterpost }

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: drinking/intoxication, smut but somehow i managed to still write around the reader's AGAB??? still explicit tho (reader bottoming), and 'dog' being used to demean the reader once.

A/N: 3825 words. it hasn't been even 24 hours since the last chapter. im making good time lol. i promise there will be a lot more oliver in the future (i already have part of chapter 5 that is VERY reader/oliver) but this is an especially Felix/Reader chapter. i know its kind of going slow, we're still only in the first bit of oxford, but it will pick up, i just like really getting into the character interactions. as always, this is unedited, and i'd love any feedback you may have!!

Taglist: @strangemaximoff @renaissance-mama @tsach @malscorner @xhoneymoonx134 @yelchinweasleylothbrok @tarriea @florencediet @butitsbetterifyoudoittoem @belladonnadarksshade @fandom-multiamory @snazzynacho @jubileexoxo @soocore @be-lla-vie @nightingale2124 @willow-sages @null4ndv0id @gracieluvthemoon @day2dream @marvellover98 @navixfr @bitxhinthecomments @daintylovers @alesunsets @noturningbacknow @d0llysposts @alilcloudy @callsignwidow @moviequotes23 @325575 @bonnieblue0606 @osoqueen125 @hot-dino-nuggies @darkness-falls-xo @mattymurderdocks @flowerecs @weepingwitchofthewest @ilovemydinoboi @marsmallow433 @king0flies @cashtons-wife @jessicascharacterbananza @gossvedd

TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

----

Oliver, by nature, does not appear to be an incredibly tactile individual. Getting shitfaced at your first proper meeting at the pub aside, and not counting the nights he joins you all at the club, he seems perfectly gentle and demure, always taking up as little space as possible, never really reaching out for another person unless they make the first move.

Except with you.

It's never overt, nothing about Oliver is ever overt, he's not throwing his arms around you every time he sees you like Felix, not tucking himself close to you as you all walk to the pub the way the girls of the group liked to do, nor is he leaning on you and treating you like furniture the way Farleigh liked to expression his familiarity. It was small, constant contact. Sitting too close in a booth, knees knocking under the table, shoulder checking you at the bar and staying that close as you both wait for your drinks, studying together in the library, sitting across from one another and his leg sticks out under the table, his ankle reaching yours.

For you it's normal, honestly it's a little toned-down from what you're used to, but there's always something in his eyes when he first makes contact, like he wants to memorise your reaction. Oliver is always memorising, always watching, always observing. There's something almost voyeuristic about his company in those quiet moments, but you're used to being watched, you're used to putting on a show, so you find yourself matching his energy, giving a coy smile when you meet his unreadable gaze. Underneath the table you'll press your ankle back against his, or knock your knee against his with purpose, or lean against his at the bar, acknowledge the contact, relish in it for the moment.

Felix, however, is the king of overt, and has never in his life waited for someone else to reach out for him. Every chance he has he'll pour his focus and attention onto Oliver. The more he learns about Oliver, the more insistent he seems to have him around, even if the rest of the friend group is less than enthusiastic. None of them would ever say as much to Felix, except of course Farleigh, but Felix grows ever more protective of Oliver, and Farleigh learns to keep his mouth shut in the end.

It takes you a long while to see the difference, actually it takes you a long while to realise there even was one. But there was. For all Oliver would orbit around Felix, looking at him like he hung the stars in the sky, he didn't touch Felix unless Felix touched him first. Call it reverence or respect, you just remember the way he'd shrunk away from Felix's bike when you'd first met him, how he'd shrunk away from your handshake after he'd dropped it, always weighing up every decision, never leaping without calculating the risks. He'd rather be touched than reach out and get rejected.

When you finally realise this, that feeling from the pub hits you again, sharp, bright, and intrigued. Everything's already warm and a bit fuzzy, the two of you sitting on Felix's bed, back to the wall, sharing a bottle of orange juice that's also half vodka, pregaming for a party and waiting for Felix to get out of the shower. If this were anyone else, chatter would be flowing brightly between you both, but you'd found early on that you settle into comfortable silence well beside Oliver. The CD player is playing that pop punk CD Annabel leant Felix last week, and Oliver is focused on playing with the rips in the knees of your jeans. He's always a little more bold, a little more tactile when he's drunk, he'll dance with you, will sit with an arm around you or on your knee, but its taken you until now to realise that you've never seen him really do that by his own choice with anyone else, even while drunk.

"Ollie, Ollie, Ollie~" you practically sing his name softly, affectionately, and when he hums in acknowledgement, looking up from your jeans, you lean your chin on your shoulder with a coy little smile, almost nose to nose with him.

"Sorry should I not be -?" He glances to your knee once more, but you snort a laugh and shift your leg to lay it out across both of his. You take another long swig of the juice, and feel his hand fidgeting once more against your knee.

"You make me feel all special, Ollie," you laughed, tipping your head against his, and he once again goes still, "I don't want to treat you like a horse but you do have to stop being so skittish," comes out without you even properly meaning it to, and suddenly Ollie's half spluttering through apologies and explainations.

"I can't- I can't help it, you just kind of say things that catch me off guard, I don't mean to -" this time his fidgeting has a more nervous energy, and you carefully put your hand on his to settle him.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that," taking a deep breath, you try and organise your thoughts, "that was mean of me, I'm too used to people without much of a filter."

While Oliver is quiet, doesn't quite feel the need to speak, he does flip his hand around and lace his fingers with yours. Both of you look at your joined hands for a long moment.

"I like being next to you," you tell him with quiet sincerity, "and I like that you want to be next to me."

"Everyone wants to be next to you," Oliver says softly, and out of the corner of your eye you see him turn to look at you, "I just feel lucky that you keep saving space for me here." You give his hand a squeeze, terrified to meet his gaze, terrified of what you might see in the way he looks at you.

This moment overwhelms you, thrills you, makes your chest hurt in a way that's so unfamiliar. The idea of Oliver looking at you, seeing you for all you are outside of Felix's shadow, for wanting to be close despite that - you take another drink.

The shower turns off, and the two of you fall back into silence, sharing the drink as you hear Felix scuffle about the bathroom getting dressed. When he emerges only wearing jeans, towel drying his hair, you wolf whistle at him with the biggest grin just to see him blush. Lobbing the towel at you both, he leans across the bed to take the bottle of juice from Oliver, taking a few long chugs before passing it back.

For a moment, his eyes linger on your still-joined hands, and he smirks as he turns to his wardrobe.

"You two look cute."

"I'm stealing your new best friend," you announce with a shit-eating grin, bringing your joined hands up to your chest, and Felix throws an amused look at you over his shoulder as Oliver ducks his head, unable to his hide own abashed smile.

"Oh it's like that, is it? You'd let yourself be stolen so easily, Ollie?" Felix teased, pulling out a flattering button-down for himself to wear, turning back expectantly. Oliver flushes, looking back and forth for a long moment between yourself and Felix, who was slowly sauntering over to the bed. There's something in his eyes, that look he got when he was carefully evaluating what to say next without trying to look like he was thinking too hard, but it was gone once he settled on Felix.

"It's Y/N, can you really blame me?"

Oh, he's good. Something lights up in Felix's eyes as his gaze darts back and forth between the two of you, something adoring and amused in equal measure. Felix has always held a very high opinion of you, and just as you found joy in his happiness, so did he find joy in yours; he had never been shy about how he loved when others truly adored you, since he thought everyone should. Still, it wasn't something he tended to broadcast the way you wore your loyalty to him on your sleeve. Oliver was very good.

"I actually can't even argue with that," Felix's voice has a kind of softness to it that most people will never hear, but you know it, and there's something about how he's letting Oliver hear it to that warms your heart.

There moment breaks as the CD finishes and Felix starts hunting for his socks, declaring that he should be ready to go in only a few more minutes.

The change after that is less gradual. Of course you're still social and integrating yourself with the whole group, still playing your role in the group dynamic, offering affection and yourself without hesitation, just as Felix did too, but the two of you always make room for Oliver too. He's easing into it more, talking, laughing, reacting and seeming to live more outside of his head. Still, there's a divide in the group, there's something that makes the others hold back, something that means they can't quite understand the affection you and Felix have for the newcomer. Farleigh is a lost cause.

Farleigh can only seem to bring himself to be condescending and bitchy to you when he's sober, and outright won't speak to you while intoxicated.

"The fuck is your problem with Y/N?" You're pretty sure you weren't mean to hear Felix confront Farleigh by the bathroom of the club.

"Don't know what you're talking about," Farleigh snaps, but then you hear a scuffle and thud, and ducking your head quickly around the corner you see Felix holding Farleigh to the wall by his collar. There's a strange sensation in your gut at the sight, knowing his anger was on your behalf, but you didn't want to get caught, and pressed yourself back to the wall.

"My problem is with Oliver," Farleigh hisses, "you both know that, but you don't fucking care."

"Then treat me like dirt, not them."

"Nothing I could say would ever stop you from doing what you want, or who you want, cousin," you hear the sneer in Farleigh's voice, and feel your stomach sink, "but -"

"But what? You expected- expected what? Better from Y/N?"

Farleigh's silence speaks volumes. Once more you peak around the corner and see Felix shove himself away from Farleigh, who simply straightens his shirt, standing tall.

"The fuck do you want me to say?" Finally, Farleigh snaps, "congrats, Felix, you got your dog a dog, and now I can't look at either of you without that freak hanging around like a fruit fly."

"Fuck off," Felix sounds like he's about to be sick. Farleigh obligingly fucks off, and you have to take a long moment, head tipped back against the wall as you fight back tears in your heightened, intoxicated state. While you know you should leave, shouldn't be caught eavesdropping, you can't bring yourself to move fast enough, and Felix rounds the corner, walking almost directly into you.

"Y/N -!" He's clearly forcing a smile for the half second that it takes him to register that it's you, but then he sees your expression, the tears in your eyes, and his face falls, "you okay? What- what's-?" While you press your lips into a thin line, trying not to give anything away, he glances over his shoulders and he's quick to connect the dots, "you heard?"

"I'm sorry, Fi," your voice trembles, and immediately he's wrapping you up in a tight hug, "I don't like making Farleigh mad at you," you sniffle, clutching his sweater tightly.

"Farleigh's being an asshole, that's not on you," Felix's voice leaves no room for disagreement, but still he rubs circles into your back, "that's never your fault."

Its Felix who suggests the two of you head home for the night, but you're glad he knows you well enough to intuit that was what you'd wanted anyways. The two of you say your goodbyes for the night, putting on a happy face, thankfully obscured by the haze and neon lights and highs of your various friends. Farleigh seems to be avoiding you both, so it's only Oliver who seems to want to cling, just a little, as you say goodbye.

Somehow you know he's the only one who can see the truth of your mood in your eyes. He hugs a little longer than usual, still holding you tightly when Felix reminds him about lunch between the two of them the following day. Oliver nods before he steps back, but he doesn't entirely let go. For a moment he looks between you and Felix, you already reaching back for Felix, who takes a hold of your wrist, and then Oliver quickly takes your face and kisses your forehead quickly.

"Get back safe, alright?" He insists with a resolute nod. Both you and Felix manage a genuine smile at that, and finally head from the club.

At first, the walk back to the dorms is quiet; your own mood is low, but there's something about Felix that you don't realise until he starts to fume.

"Can you believe he'd talk about you like that?"

"What?"

"Farleigh; where the fuck does he get off talking like that? Fucking entitled." It's fury, radiating off of him in waves. His intensity surprises you, but your heart's not beating faster out of any kind of fear, "he should know better."

"Felix -"

"I don't care if he's my cousin, he -" and he stops dead, finally turning to look at you. In an instant, seeing the wide-eyed, almost awed love you were looking at him with, all his fury seemed to disappear. Still, there was intensity as he stepped up to you, wrapped one arm around your waist as he cupped your jaw, "he made you cry," the anger was faint but still audible, his thumb running gently over your cheek, where you had wiped the tears away not ten minutes ago, "I never want anyone to do that ever again."

Felix knows how to make you feel good, has had years of practice, but tonight he dedicates every ounce of focus he still has to that cause. It's been a long time since he's properly taken his time with you like this; there's been a lot of quickies, or drunk, sloppy sex when neither of you want to hook up with someone else, messy handjobs in janitor's closets between classes simply because you were bored and liked the thrill of it, or giving each other head in the bathroom of the club or pub when the other loses an arbitrary bet. But the way he worships you is something that only happens when he's feeling especially sappy.

When his mouth isn't on you - kissing, sucking, biting - he's lavishing you with praise until it almost becomes righteous, and his nails dig in and he's losing himself in you and babbling about how anyone who even got to fucking look at you should be grateful.

"Fi -" you gasp, hand coming up to muffle yourself as he's got you to the point of speechless. But he stops, cock deep inside of you, hips pressed flush to yours as you have your legs wrapped around his waist. You groan and whimper and try rolling your hips to create more friction, but his grin is wide as he leans down over you.

"Come on, no, don't do that," he practically purrs, taking your hand, pinning your wrist to the bed next to your head, pinning the other in just the same way so he was braced over you, "I want everyone to hear how you sound when someone's making you feel good." He starts to move again now, slow this time, while this new angle has your thighs splayed somehow further open, all new moans of pleasure escaping you now. Felix looks pleased, face close enough to yours that you're practically panting and moaning into his mouth as he delights at the way he's making you feel.

One of your favourite things about fucking Felix is that he is consistently Felix, which is that he very rarely shuts up, which is fantastic because you love hearing his voice. The praise and love he lays on you this night is interspersed with the way he always is during sex, chatty, always checking in, somehow making casual and curious sound like the hottest things in the world. Even when you're past the point of words and his head is between your thighs, he'll have two fingers inside of you and -

"This alright?" He knows the answer because he knows you, but you've always been endeared by it. Still, you make a breathy noise of confirmation, and you hear his voice drop to something low and firmer, "words, Y/N." God, fuck, the things that voice does to you when he uses it.

"Yes, oh god, Fi, it's good, it's good, it's good -"

You can feel his pleased chuckle as his mouth is back on your tender skin.

Dawn is breaking beyond his window, through the curtains neither of you had bothered to close all night, when you both finally concede, feeling thoroughly satisfied and spent.

"I know you don't like me getting into scraps on your behalf -" Felix, laying out on his back, easy smile on his face as he looks to you, begins.

"Or ever," you roll your eyes, but turn to lay on your side, facing him, unable to stop smiling yourself. Felix chuckles.

"Fine, sure, but," and he wets his lips, his gaze softening for a moment as his eyes meet yours, "I'm never going to sit by and let someone chat shit about you, you know that, right?"

After a long moment of deliberation, you finally admitted -

"I got a girl expelled because of how she was talking about you," you blurted out. Immediately Felix's eyes went wide. He shot up, sitting dead straight and looking back at you.

"You what?!"

"I don't get into scraps like you, but what she was saying was fucking vulgar, and I asked her to stop but she started making these awful, gross comments about how she was going to baby trap you and you'd be too stupid to know, and- and-" you flipped to lay on your back, fidgeting as you recounted the details. Felix was watching you, but you couldn't quite figure out what the look on his face meant, though perhaps he was simply processing it all, "and so I paid someone to plant a whole load of illegal shit in her room and called campus authorities."

Quiet suddenly filled the room, and slowly Felix looked away, choosing to simply stare at his hands.

"The only reason I don't like you getting into scraps is because I just don't want you to get hurt; it actually means so much to me that you care enough to defend me, you know? I'm not a hypocrite, I just worry about you," you tried to laugh, but it sounded lame in the quiet.

"You got a girl expelled for me," surprisingly, you can hear the grin in Felix's words. When he turns back with an incredulous laugh, relief floods through you. In an instant he's pitched himself practically on top of you, peppering your face, neck, and chest with kisses, "you're fucking diabolical, I'm so glad you're on my side!"

Eventually the two of you manage to get to sleep, though it's not nearly enough, as a knock comes at the door at around eleven. Both you and Felix groan, but he insists that you stay in bed.

"Be there in a sec," he calls to the door. After sourcing some boxers, he opens the door just a crack, and you can hear Farleigh on the other side.

"I was a dick."

"You were," Felix agrees.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said all that."

"No you shouldn't have."

"So are we good?"

"I don't know why you're apologising to me," you can hear the passive-aggressive lightness in Felix's tone, and Farleigh sounds confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Of course you know what I mean, Farleigh."

Then, a long sigh from Farleigh, and quietly, almost too quiet to hear it, you hear him ask if Felix knows where you are. You can almost picture the smug smile on your best friend's face as he steps aside and opens the door wide enough to reveal you, in his bed, still mostly asleep.

"Morning..." Farleigh says awkwardly.

"Morning, Farleigh," you yawned loudly.

"I..." he started, looking deeply uncomfortable; Felix had to prompt him to continue, "am sorry for treating you like shit these past few weeks. I don't like Oliver, that's," he sighed, unable to look you in the eyes, "not your fault."

"It's not my fault but you're making it my problem," you tell him bluntly, to which he scowls, "I love you, I have loved you for years, I do not love you less because of Oliver; your jealousy is childish."

"Fine," Farleigh rolls his eyes, "I'll temper my urge to vomit at the sight of him and his poor attempts to fit in whenever you're around- either of you are around."

"We appreciate the sacrifice," Felix rolls his eyes, sarcasm all but dripping from his words. Still, you accept the apology and tension between the three of you seem to ease as the conversation comes to an end. Felix throws himself back down on the bed with a grunt, half laying on you.

"What time is it?" He voice is muffled against the mattress, so you glance at his alarm clock.

"Eleven fifteen."

Another groan from Felix, but he still doesn't move. Slowly, he crawls to a more dignified position, and back under the covers beside you. He wraps am arm around you, pulling you in close so your back was flush against him, his breath warm on the back of your neck.

"Fifteen minutes and I'll leap out of bed with enthusiasm," he says in the absolutely least convincing manner, tucking himself as close to you as possible, "I got lunch with Ollie at the pub."

"That should be nice," you yawn, and rest your hand on his where it's warm against your bare stomach.

"Gotta have a shower, get dressed, figure out if I'm biking or walking," he's mumbling mostly to himself, voice drifting off.

"I'd join your shower but I plan to sleep here until Monday."

"I'll probably join you when I get back."

It's a comforting thought, and you let out a contented hum, before finally adding before you drift off.

"Give Ollie my love when you see him, won't you?" And as your asking, Felix presses a kiss to your shoulder.

"Of course."

#felix catton x reader x oliver quick #saltburn x reader #felix catton x reader #saltburn imagine #felix catton imagine #felix catton x y/n #felix catton x you #oliver quick x reader #oliver quick imagine #oliver quick x y/n #oliver quick x you #head heart hand fic #manic writer

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eumppattv · 11 months

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𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 | ot7 enha

pairing idol! enha x idol! reader genre ᩍ fluff warnings none ➜ masterlist enha permanent taglist here!! a/n: requests are open!

heeseung ☆ ⊹ ๑

this boy is actually so excited, even though he wouldn’t say it out loud. the members would find him smiling randomly through out the week. he was so excited to see you that he went to sleep early, wanting it to be the next day already. he wore his best outfit, sprayed his best cologne, and walked into the recording studio with confidence. he immediately saw you, and his cheeks got red- but he was playing it cool. he would definitely compliment you the whole time, with the biggest smirk.

jay ☆ ⊹ ๑

no one would be able to tell what he felt when they announced your collab. he was very serious, saying things like “yeah that’ll be good for us” or “they’re talented”- but with the straightest face ever. then heeseung let out a soft “they’re hot too” and jay lost it. he scolded heeseung about how he spoke about you, and how it’s disrespectful. whole time heeseung is like uhh don’t forget i’m older than you buddy. when you got to the studio, jay did not even look in your direction. he was so shy, but every time you sang he had the biggest smile on his face.

jake ☆ ⊹ ๑

he was so excited, he spent all night talking about what you would be like in person. sunghoon was so tired of him constantly talking about how amazing your voice was, and how he was so ready to meet you. jake even came up with the idea of bringing a present for you, and the members (knowing he had a crush on you), told him he should be the one to get it. so he pulled up to the studio with a nice little gift, and almost died when your hands brushed against his. he was blushing the whole time, and even had to excuse himself to the restroom to calm down.

sunghoon ☆ ⊹ ๑

similar to jay, he did not look in your direction. when he found out about the collab, he shut down on the inside. he was thinking about what to say, how to act, he was going crazy. but he kept it all inside, and decided to just be chill about it. the day of, his hands were so sweaty and he was extra quiet, to which the members took notice of. he would awkwardly greet you, then just stick around in the corner while you record. you would make a joke and he’d laugh, then he’d ask his members on the way home if he laughed too hard. just a straight up over-thinker.

sunoo ☆ ⊹ ๑

honestly seems to be the one to be able to hide it the most. i don’t think the members would even know he has a crush on you. he would definitely just strike up a conversation with you, and you’d seem like besties. while everyone else stays back, sunoo would be laughing with you, and i think you’d even exchange phone numbers by the end of the day. it’s only when they’re on the way back that he would blurt out a “y/n was so pretty right?” and he would be all red. everyone would be shocked, and immediately start questioning him.

jungwon ☆ ⊹ ๑

he had to go into leader mode when he got told, so he stayed quiet for the most part. then the night before he panicked, so he sat down with jay and basically confessed his feelings for you. jay encouraged him to just talk to you, because duh he was the leader so he’d have to anyways. then he got to the studio, and he was a little hesitant to walk in. but he did, and he shook your hand hoping you wouldn’t feel it shaking. he tried to talk to you, but he only ended up saying a couple words. before he left tho, he did tell you he would love to see you again, before he ran away.

ni-ki ☆ ⊹ ๑

he really just wants to disappear. he was so excited when he found out you’d be collabing with them, but he could not take the teasing from everyone. like jake, he would not stop talking about you, except he’s been doing it for months now. when he gets to the studio, he hides behind everyone- except he’s the tallest so you could clearly see him. he would be in awe, and forget to introduce himself. throughout the whole recording session, he’s just admiring you from afar. then jay told him it’s not polite to stare, so he didn’t look your way the rest of the day.

🝮 taglist open!

@avocarua @kpoprhia @haechansbbg @yeehawnana @lilly-bubblelops @aishigrey @gweoriz @soul-is-a-strange-kid

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thoughtsonkm · 14 days

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Hot spring buddies

It was a perfect balance of a fun episode but with a lot of domesticity and quirks and all around softness. Their day to day life when they finally found some free time is truly so peaceful and harmonious. They're just attuned to each other. Mischievousness and teasing is always present, they just can't get enough of having fun together.

Where?! Who?! You been where?! With who?!

JK was like: "Excuse me? You went with MY friends? Not ME? What am I chopped liver? 7 years ago you say? OK FINE

GODDAMMIT it's criminal to not do a original song together! It's criminal to not do an album together! Criminal offense! Judge lock em' up!

And Jimin lulling Jungkook to sleep..ah that angel voice 🥹

"This is our last moment of relaxation" - JK 😭 😭 (I know everything going on was looming on their minds obviously but their hunger to enjoy and live to the fullest until the last minute makes me emo)

NAH the damn haircut 😂 The way he has perfected the boba ball cut. The juxtaposition of his face/hair with his body is so funyyyy.

*Going to the hair stylist* JK: so.. I did a thing Stylist: fuck, okay let me think, I CAN FIX THIS

He brought his cards cause he wanted to play only with Jimin since CT. Why do they have to be so adorable about these little supposedly insignificant details 😭

Look at us. Look how far we've come. Who would've thought?

Okay testosterone calm down, OR DON'T (This was low-key hilarious af tho tbh)

I saw ppl hyperventilating because they were suddenly showing too much (Jimin I'm looking at you) but more than that I think it's nice that they were so relaxed and in their own world, so much so, that they didn't really think much about their every movement.

But also they need to stop with the moaning and grouting every 2 sec tho. Like I get it but? cmon

Sorry but I live for the little funny details like Jungkook drenching the sea urchin in soy sauce and then putting it in vegetable soup to salvage it.

As if you can deny this face anything??

Cause you know there's AYS stash but there's a personal stash too obviously.

Oh twin beds? Let us start our lights foreplay

Jungkook's semi romantic struggles continue. Feed yo man Jimin pls!

The whole ski part of the episode looked so fun. I'm sure they had a blast. This is officially the best activity they've tried during this series.

It was so adorable them continuously falling and getting up. Even the crew kept on falling. The snow must've been so thick.

Snow angel

What in the meta shit is happening next week? I'm not ready to see them react to themselves. In the last episode to the first two episodes? Oh they're out for blood. And I know they're not gonna show what we want to see (ASS SLAP) but still those 5 minutes should be fun.

I wish sapporo would last forever. Weeks passed by so quickly. Why is it only one episode left? And then we're never seeing them again until next year (at least we have hobis discharge and the bts eps)

#jikook #kookmin #jimin #jungkook #bts #bangtan #are you sure?!#jikook travel show #ep. 7 #september 2024

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eggyrocks · 2 months

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rot: h. iwaizumi

chapter five -> the move

(masterlist ; written content)

word count: 3.8k

now playing: school shooter by wych elm

warnings: this chapter is heavy with discussions of abuse, violence, other themes already discussed in this story, divided this last chapter in two parts and this is going to be the angst before the happy ending. when i say angst i mean angst. rest assured happy ending is coming tho

Her well-organized list of problems has been upended. A bright, shiny new problem has outshone all of her other ones, dimming them, displacing them, reducing their need for attention.

Problem #1: Iwaizumi Hajime, neighbor, definite arms-dealer, maybe boyfriend, has been arrested.

It’s hard to get people to listen to you in a police station. Cops sit at their little desks and they look at you like they’re pretending to pay attention to what you’re saying but really, all they can think about is how much better than you they think they are, and how little they care about your problems.

Matsukawa has a hand over her shoulder, not firm but not lose, like he’s ready to pull her back down to her feet if she leans too far over the front counter. She’s trying to appeal to the lady behind the front desk, (as if there’s anything she could actually do), voice raw and shaky, knuckles going white as she grips at the edge of the counter.

“Please,” she begs, her unhidden desperation feeling out of place in the clean station, where the smell of hand sanitizer and pine floor cleaner is heavy in the air. It’s far too bureaucratic for her to be like this; reduced to a pile of tears and snot, begging and pleading and being ignored like a small child throwing a fit. “He didn’t do anything to me. This is fucking insane, lady.”

“Honey,” she says, voice slathered in condescension, like she knows. Like she knows Iwaizumi’s been treating her like shit this whole time and she’s just been too stupid to realize it. Like she knows what’s best for her just because she sits behind the front desk at a police station for eight hours five days a week for semi-not shit pay and a pension. “If you want to help your boyfriend, the best thing you can do is get him a lawyer, okay? Yelling at me isn’t going to help. They can hold him for forty-eight hours, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

God, she wants to reach over this fucking desk and sink her nails into this lady’s face. Dig under her skin and gather evidence so they know it was her that did it. That desk lady’s sickly-sweet tone and fake pity had driven her to madness. A long-buried thirst for violence that makes her feel like a grade-school girl boils in her blood and it’s like Matsukawa can sense it because it’s then that his hand goes tight around her shoulder, and he pulls her back. “Thank you, ma’am,” he says, relaxed politeness sounding natural on him. “We appreciate your help.”

She doesn’t appreciate her help. She doesn’t appreciate shit. She wants to jump over the counter and make that known, but Matsukawa grabs at her arms and tugs, using a bit more force to get her away from that desk. But she makes a point to turn her head and shoot that lady one more rage-filled sneer.

Matsukawa doesn’t let her go until he’s pulled her out the front door, into the sidewalk of a busy city street. But he has no qualms about stopping her there, a dam in the middle of the sidewalk, foot traffic splitting and flowing around them. He grabs her by both of her shoulders. “Okay, you need to calm down. Like right now. Alright?”

Her teeth grind together. “I want to pop her fucking eyes out,” she spits out, like an unrepentant child, unashamed of her outburst.

“Well, that’s not going to do anything to help, so don’t fucking do that,” Matsukawa says, a bit of a bit in his voice and slightly shaking her shoulders. The air surrounding them is suffocating, hot and humid and beads of sweat are popping up on the back of her neck already. “And she’s right. There’s nothing we can do but get him a lawyer.”

She doesn’t look at Matsukawa. She hates him right now, because he’s right, and there’s nothing her blind rage and outburst can do to make it better. She focuses her stare just past him, watching the stream of tourists and college students and burdened employees that drifts down the sidewalk, past both of them. She gnaws on the inside of her cheek. “Whatever.”

He releases her then, and her gaze falls to her shoes as Matsukawa steps back from her. A hand reaches up to push stray strands of hair away from his forehead. “Oikawa’s calling his guy. He should be down here soon. We’ve gone through this before, we know what to do. Iwa’s not an idiot, he can handle himself in there.”

The combination of rage and embarrassment tastes sour in the back of her throat. “He didn’t do it,” she asserts, for no one else other than herself.

“Course he didn’t fucking do it,” Matsukawa scoffs. “Iwa has lines. Hitting his girl is way past them.”

Her mouth furls. It’s getting hotter and hotter every second there on that sidewalk. Every emotion feels too big for her body; it paralyzes her. She hates this. She fucking hates this. Iwaizumi being locked in some holding cell with the drunken disorderly conduct leftovers from the night before. Him being in there because of her.

Matsukawa sees her standing there, stiff and clenched up, and sighs. “Look,” he starts off, more sympathetic than before, and the pity makes her twitch, “why don’t you just come back to mine and Makki’s place for now? You don’t have to go-“

And then, the call of her name. Loud enough to get the attention of everyone on that sidewalk. Commanding enough that people look, just to make sure, just to double check that it’s not their name, that they didn’t make a mistake, somehow. She looks over Matsukawa’s shoulder and sees her father. Out in the open, on the sidewalk.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” he says as he approaches, broad smile sending a new rush of rage down her spine. Matsukawa raises an eyebrow at her, but she doesn’t dare to tear her eyes away from her father, looking clean in his freshly pressed uniform. Like this is some kind of special occasion for him. “I was worried help wouldn’t get to you in time.”

She blinks. There’s no room for fear in her body. “Help?” she echoes back, voice hoarse.

He moves to reach for her. She steps back, Matsukawa places himself in front of her. “When I saw how that boyfriend of yours was treatin’ you, I had to call in a favor. I got a friend that works in this district, y’know. I got lots of friends, Bug.”

Really, she shouldn’t be surprised. She feels stupid for not thinking of it earlier.

But she didn’t think of it. She wasn’t expecting it. She was completely caught off guard by her god-awful, piece of shit father.

So she can’t be blamed for her reaction.

She reaches into her pocket and fishes out her keys. A few for the sports store. Three for her apartment building (one for the front door, one for her place, and one for Iwa’s), and one to her old home she shared with her brother. She places them each between her fingers, and without very much hesitation, she punches the end of those keys into her father’s face, with as much force is left inside of her.

Pretty immediately, there’s a reaction from the stream of people. Screams, she thinks. Matsukawa’s quick to act, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her away from her now-bleeding father. But everything around her is white noise. She's numb to it. She looks at her father and she hopes the gashes will scar. “You piece of shit!” she screams at him. “I’ll fucking kill you! You fucker! You’re fucking dead!”

★⋆. ࿐࿔

Her list is fucked now. She doesn’t know where rage issues fall in the new order. But probably higher than before, she would have to guess, because she’s sitting in an interrogation room.

Kageyama Tobio sits across from her, sleeves pushed up to his elbows and arms crossed over his chest. He’s leaned back in his seat, and she has this feeling she’s about to be scolded. “Assaulting a police officer is pretty serious.”

She feels dirty, humid air making her skin sweaty and salty, her hair frizzy and tangled. A bit of blood splattered on the skin of her forearm. They wouldn’t let her wash it off. “He’s not a police officer to me,” she says, words coming stubbornly out of the corner of her mouth. “He’s just my piece of shit father.”

Kageyama leans forward, bare forearms pressed against the cool metal of the table between them. “Can I ask you something?” He does not wait for the answer. “Is Iwaizumi worth all of this? Look at where you are, do you think this is worth it?”

“Can I ask you something instead?” She waits for confirmation from him. He gives her a slight nod. “Did you like PCD?”

He sighs, fingers tapping against the table. She wants to break them. “We can drop the charges on you, y’know. If you have something more valuable to give us, we’d be happy to do something for you in return.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Valuable?”

Kageyama leans back again. He adjusts a lot, she’s noticed. Moving and shifting and repositioning. She has stayed still in her seat. “Listen, I’ve known Iwaizumi for a while. All of them. I know what they’re like. I know how they can make you feel. You get caught up in it. Good people like you and me find themselves in shit situations without realizing it. But let me tell you this,” he says, severe, and a finger pointed in her direction, “Iwaizumi’s not going to give this up for anything. And you’re not an exception. As much as you think he cares about you, he cares about his job more.”

She can see her mother so clearly, then. For the first time in years. She can see her features, the details of her face. The ones she has in common with her brother. The ones she has in common with her. She can see the anger twisted into her brow like a permanent fixture. She can hear her voice, as if it’s in her ear now.

“Men like your father, they only care about one thing. And it’s not you and it’s not me.”

She lifts her head to meet Kageyama’s stare. His eyes are so sharp and so blue. “Kageyama?”

He leans forward. “Yeah?”

“Suck my dick.”

The sigh of defeat is, at the very least, satisfying. His shoulders slump and she watches the last bit of hope he was holding onto fade out of him. And at least she has that. “Well, in that case, you’re free to go. Your father’s not pressing charges.”

She stands at once, not immediately being hit the with realization that he had tried to trick her into snitching. “Fucking finally,” she spits out, her limbs feeling stiff and disjointed.

She’s halfway out the door when Kageyama says, “Yeah, well, see you later, I’m sure.”

★⋆. ࿐࿔

Iwaizumi is released before the forty-eight hours is up. She does not find out until four days after.

Most of those four days are spent numbly sitting through her shifts, face weathered and her limbs hanging from her body like heavy, led weights. She lies in her bed. She hardly eats. She checks her phone every five to ten minutes and she calls Oikawa and Matsukawa and Makki and gets their voicemails and she hears nothing.

And then, as she’s hanging out the window, smoking her second cigarette in a row, she sees him. Walking down the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets and his chin up. She watches, in disbelief for a moment, waiting to see if he’s going to turn into their apartment building and run straight up the stairs and into her arms and kiss her and apologize and swear that he would exact vengeance on her father. For the both of them.

But Iwaizumi just walks. He goes straight until he is out of her view.

With shaking hands, she texts him:

so when were u planning on telling me u got out?

He does not respond.

★⋆. ࿐࿔

It’s a month before he speaks to her again.

A month after no texts and no calls and no early morning coffee visits and nothing but the creaks of his floorboards from above. It’s torture. It scratches at her throat and it puts nails in her bloodstream and she spends more than one evening laid out on her bathroom floor, sobs wrecking through her frame, clawing at nothing, trying to grab onto something.

The feeling of abandonment is not entirely unfamiliar. It tastes the same as anger, and it never comes without it. And the combination can make her irrational.

“-and my friend Tanaka has a truck,” Kiyoko says into her, her voice fuzzy from the poor connection. She has her phone pressed between her ear and her shoulder, haphazardly throwing whatever belongings she can find into the cardboard box she stole from work. “He offered to help move your stuff out if you want.”

“Yeah,” she mumbles, drifting through her apartment, stopping as she settles in front of her CD player, sitting in the middle of her kitchen table. The one Iwaizumi gifted her. She makes no move to grab it. She’s sure that Kiyoko has one already. “Maybe he could come by tomorrow. I could be done packing by then. That cool?”

“Yeah, that should work. I’ll ask when he’s free.”

She hums in response, and kicks at one of the legs of her coffee table. A lot of her sidewalk trash furniture is going to right back to where it came from. “Are you sure this is okay with you?”

“Of course!” is Kiyoko’s enthusiastic confirmation. “It’s been a little lonely since my last roommate moved out. And to be honest it’ll be nice to split the rent again.”

God, rent splitting. It sounds like a dream to her. Expenses divided in half-she almost drools at the thought of it. She chuckles. “Alright, fair enough. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, then. Should probably finish packing now.”

“Alright. See you then.”

She snaps her phone shuts and pockets it.

Even as she empties it of her belongings, the apartment is a mess. Littered with forgotten belongings and things she never had the motivation to get rid of. Things she doesn’t know what to do with. Things that she doesn’t need and can’t justify keeping but she can’t bring herself to trash. The Ponkadu mug. Her pink, fuzzy journals filled with love struck passages. A dried, dead dandelion Iwaizumi ripped from the ground and placed in her hand.

Her head throbs. She looks up at the ceiling above her, like she’s waiting for something. A creak or a slam or something. A sign that he’s still there. That he’s not as far away from her as he feels. But it’s silent, and there’s nothing. And it’s like he was never even there in the first place.

She swallows the lump in throat and returns her attention to the scattered objects in front of her. She forces herself to harden and drops the Ponkadu mug in the trash. Then the journal. Then the dandelion. And she thinks to herself, bitterly, like she’s in an argument with herself, that it’s not like he was never even here in the first place. The evidence of his existence is all over her. It lingers in her lungs, in her chest, it spreads through her bloodstream. Iwaizumi’s there, causing every ache and every sting and every throb. He’s there.

Something possesses her. Everything can go in the trash, suddenly, it doesn’t matter what it is. Plates and freezer-burnt ice cream and a half-empty first aid kit. Anything with the lingering presence of Iwaizumi is getting dumped. Trashed. Left rot and fester in some landfill. And after an hour passes, her apartment is covered with bursting, heavy black trash bags of her wasted belongings.

She sits on the floor, shoulders slumped, legs crossed. She already threw out her couch. Her mattress is sitting on the floor of Kiyoko’s apartment, in the bedroom that will be hers by tomorrow. So for now, all she has is the rotted hardwood floor, where Iwaizumi told her he’d marry her.

Her throat tightens. She cannot get out of here fast enough.

Sweat droplets form on the back of her neck as she stands, ready to start hauling bag after bag out to the presumably already overflowing dumpster behind her apartment building. Her knees knock together as she stands, and she moves towards her door, ready to prop it open with one of the trash bags.

She undoes her deadbolt. Then her chain lock. Then she opens the door, and Iwaizumi is there, hand raised to knock.

At the sight of him, her throat tightens up, and she is immediately, torn split between her rage and her desperation. As much as she wants him to hold her, to make her promises and give her the comfort she’s been craving so desperately for the past month, she wants to bite his head off just as much. To make him hurt the way he hurt her. To tear him up from the inside.

Instead, she stares, blankly, somewhat horrified. Her heart beats heavy in her throat and her ears get fuzzy. He looks the same. That makes her angry. She wishes there was some change, some difference. But the Iwaizumi that said that he loved her in her kitchen and that he’d marry her on her floor is the same one that left her to rot on her own.

He steps into her apartment, right past her, like he still has the right to, and looks at the state of it. Everything packed up. Everything scattered. He looks at her like he still has the right to. “What’s going on?”

She flinches, and her anger is starting to win. “I’m moving.”

Iwaizumi pulls that face. That same one. Always looking like he’s slightly dissatisfied with something. “Why?”

Why. It’s such a stupid question. She tries to take a breath to calm herself but it makes her shudder and lock up. “I’m sure if you think about it, you can figure it out.”

She watches the air enter and exit his lungs through the rising and falling of his shoulders. He looks at her, right through her. “Don’t leave.”

In an odd way, she likes the control. She likes the feeling that, for once in her life, she’s not the one begging. “Don’t tell me what to do. Not after you left me.”

He exhales sharply. Iwaizumi takes a step towards her, and she takes a step back. “C’mon, that’s not fair. I didn’t leave you. I just needed to put some distance between us for the time being. Your dad, he’s fucked, alright? It was a liability to-“

“A liability?” she cuts him off, hands clenched into fists by her side. The heat in her blood rises. “I’m a liability?”

Iwaizumi shakes his head and reaches towards her. She jerks away from him. “No, not that you’re a liability, it was just a risk to be around you while-“

“So, what, you couldn’t get one of your little errand boys to tell me about it?” she says, and it comes out like a bark. “You had to leave me in the dark for a month while you dicked off doing god knows what? Too risky to send a text? After I lied to the cops for you and risked getting arrested for you and became a fucking on-call nurse for you, you couldn’t send me a fucking text?”

Her breath is ragged. Iwaizumi stares down at her like he’s seeing for the first time. “I thought you wouldn’t care. I thought you don’t care about anything.”

And it’s too much for her. It’s too big for her body. It’s too much for her to carry and she can’t hold onto it anymore. “I care about everything! I care about everything so fucking much it makes me sick!” she erupts, tears in her voice and rolling down her face. Her skin feels hot. The air feels hot. “Is that what you liked about me so much? You thought I was some kind of apathetic ragdoll you could toss around and do whatever you want with?”

“I thought you would understand!” he eventually bites back at her, his own voice rising. “I thought you knew what kind of life I live and what that meant! God, you fucking act like nothing bothers you and you pretend to not see the world around you and you just expect me to read your mind?”

“What fucking person would be okay with being abandoned for a month?” she screams. “You knocked on my door and asked me for a favor and you hovered around me and you said you loved me and said you’d marry me and then you just fucking disappeared! That’s so fucked, Iwa. That’s so fucking cruel.”

He steps towards her, and before she can say anything his arms are around her shoulders, pulling her into his chest. Like one simple embrace will end it all. Like he can just take her in his arms and suddenly she’ll stay, suddenly it’ll fix everything. She wants it to. She wants it to so badly. But she places her palms on her chest and pushes him away. She stumbles back and looks at him with wet eyes. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

“I do love you,” he tells her, voice lower now. “I meant what I said and I still do. You’re my girl. You’re everything to me.”

She shakes her head, trembling. She can’t let it be true. “No, I’m not,” she asserts, backing up into her kitchen table. Her hands go around the edge of it. “I don’t mean anything to you. You wouldn’t have left me if I did.”

“I had a reason-“

“I don’t fucking care what your reason was! I don’t fucking care, Iwa! I don’t care about your stupid job or your stupid fucking guns or whatever! I care that you were here, and then you weren’t! You left me like my mom did and you left me like my brother did and then you come back here and you have the fucking audacity to not even be sorry about it. I fucking hate you!”

She knows that she doesn’t mean it, when she says it. Iwaizumi probably knows too. He probably knows she doesn’t mean it when she swipes the CD player he got her off the kitchen table and it goes flying. Soaring across the room until it slams into the opposite wall, breaking and crumpling against the pressure. Bits of it snap off.

Iwaizumi looks at it, and then he looks at her. She’s shaking. She wants to get on her knees and do everything she can to fix it the second it breaks. But it’s on the floor, broken and shattered. Iwaizumi nods, and then he leaves. He turns around and walks out the door and slams it shut behind him.

an: huge huge huge huge thank u to wyr and ness and honee and molly and dodger who all had to suffer thru me trying to get this chapter out u guys are the best

taglist: @wyrcan @thechaosoflonging @bedeater @deluluforcarlos55 @localgaytrainwreck @cherrypieyourface @eclecticeggknightpsychic @httpakkeiji @does-directions @needtoloveoutloud @causenessus @kawaii-angelanne @thatonecroc @v1oletfury @lonesomedrive @nnnyxie @pinkiscool @michivrse @cannibalsrider @kmwife @k8nicole @oikasenpai @fennecnco @riousluvs @bellamsby @rinheartshyunlix @bae-ashlynn @ephemeralninon @fangsbb @plumarbre @v-e-r-t21 @snail-squasher @seroh @mfcherry @canthavetoomuchchaos @ange1icarch1ve @applepi25 @wqnsho @19calicos @girlkissersco @Lisoozi @bailey-reeds @kitskasoboring @iluvaquaphor @lllaw @kinsies-blog @1lovestrawberrymilk

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu #hq x you #hq #iwaizumi hajime fanfiction #hq iwaizumi #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi fanfiction #iwaizumi fic #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi angst #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu iwaizumi #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi x y/n #iwaizumi hajime x you

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leclvrc · 2 years

Text

from crush to girlfriend ♡ cl x reader

summary: charles manifested himself a gf with one (1) interview

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, zendaya, vogue and 281.289 others

yourusername in my 'just killed my sugar daddy' era 🖤

view all 31.973 comments

zendaya the era we all aspire to have 💖

liked by yourusername

ynhottie ugh it's the all black aesthetic and black heart for me

yourbestie pop OFF girl

charleslechair not me innocently scrolling through the account of my fave actress only to see charles lurk here 🤕

honeybadger i noticed too and ???

yourusername

liked by f1, mercedesamgf1, pierregasly and 187.297 others

yourusername racing movie starring me when @.f1?

view all 17.483 comments

f1 visit us again and we will make it happen!

liked by yourusername

pierregasly who did you root for?

yourusername not alphatauri that's for sure 🤣

gaslytsunoda not pierre shooting his shot and she shutting him down 😭😭

yourbestie you were awfully focussed on a certain red car 👀

liked by scuderiaferrari

ynfan YOU'RE SO GORGEOUS!!!!

enews 👀👀

f1gossip have we found another tifosi?

charleslechair

liked by f1gossip, ynfan, fe44ari and 3.287 others

charleslechair EXCUSE THE SHITTY ASS QUALITY BUT HELLO??? HE DID THAT WITH HIS WHOLE CHEST??? AND HE DIDN'T SOUND DISTRACTED BY THE SIM???

view all 563 comments

ynfan losing my entire fucking MIND he did not just say this and expects us to be normal???

tifosi55 now im just imagining him going through all her movies, kicking his feet and twirling his hair as he watches her be GIFTED on screen

honeybadger that's all I'll be thinking about from now on 😭

f1gossip which movie was his fave place yalls bets. the one where she is in a wet dress almost the entire time or the one where she gets rid of her husband to get together with the hot french pool boy

ynfan ten bucks he saw himself in the french pool boy even tho he's not even french 😭😭

yourusername

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, florencepugh and 233.298 others

yourusername monaco you have been brilliant but it feels good being back home on set 💞

view all 21.289 comments

yourbestie living THE life and leaving all of us in the dust 😔

yourusername you're so dramatic babe

landonorris drinks? without any of us?

yourusername next time if I feel generous 😌

ynhottie humbled his ass 😭😭

charleslechair the way he's just. out here liking posts. not caring what he does to my mental health.

liked by charles_leclerc

charleslechair HELLO??

charles_leclerc

liked by scuderiaferrari, carlossainz55, yourusername and 217.298 others

charles_leclerc this weekend wasn't quite as well as monaco has been, but we keep pushing 👊🏼

view all 33.287 comments

scuderiaferrari onto the next one!

calamar16 we will get them next week charles!! keep your head up!!

yourusername maybe all you need is a lucky charm? 😉 (you were still impressive on track today)

honeybadger y/n flirting with him and simultaneously praising him... we love a queen that can do both

pierregasly looking forward to racing you next week mon ami

yourusername added to their story

f1gossip

liked by charleslechair, mercmaids, y/ngoddess and 12.281 others

f1gossip with @.yourusername in Italy, posting a story about a date night and charles being spotted kissing someone that many fans thought to be the actress, we for one cannot wait to see how this story unfolds! what are your thoughts on it? is it a fling or something more?

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charleslechair on my knees begging them to be the real deal because i CANNOT take any hot insta baddie being linked to charles anymore

y/nfan her last relationship went down in flames with someone that wasn't half as busy as he is. it's not going to last 😒

honeybadger trying not to let the parasocial relationship get to me but they'd be sooo cute. yes I'm basing that assumption off of two blurry pics and half a story no i don't take criticism

liked by f1gossip

charleslechair girl you're so real 😭😭😭 I thought I was the only one

yourbestie 👁👄👁

tifosi16 now THIS is an interesting development

mercmaids y/n suddenly appearing at charles' home race... charles saying she is his celebrity crush... the lucky charm comment.... date night.... stalker pics... connecting the dots but fr fr

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yourusername

liked by scuderiaferrari, alexademie, charles_leclerc and 387.281 others

yourusername on sunday's we wear red ❤ thank you for having me @.scuderiaferrari!

view all 23.837 comments

scuderiaferrari we still have to talk about that movie @.f1 😉

liked by f1

yourusername you got it!

f1gossip all I'm saying is that the next pics of them kissing aren't far away...

charleslechair stalker behaviour off the charts

charles_leclerc pierre is still not over the alphatauri comment

yourusername the comment still holds true 🤣🤣

honeybadger trying so hard not to fangirl rn

yourbestie the jacket and comment and everything ugh

yourusername you're too much girl 😭💖

y/nfan she's SO pretty oh my god

y/nhottie the banter is giving besties so now I'm confused

y/ngoddess biggest mood... y/n still in her single era would be hot tho

mercmaids they also never addressed the alleged kissing pics I'm SO confused

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charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, yourusername, f1 and 299.281 others

charles_leclerc winning in formula 1 is always an incredible feeling, but winning in front of the tifosi in monza is one I will chase year in and out! grazie to the team and tifosi and everyone that rooted for us this weekend 💪

view all 28.271 comments

f1 🔥👊🏼

pierregasly next year is my turn again then 😁

carlossainz55 in your dreams mate

liked by charles_leclerc

tifosi16 YES CHARLES THAT LAST OVERTAKE WAS SO 🔥🔥🔥

charleslechair i was at the edge of my seat!!! you know how to keep us hooked

yourusername incredible race, charles. I was rooting for you the entire time 💖

liked by charles_leclerc

yourbestie so you're really his lucky charm huh

yourusername text me rn 😒

honeybadger i was so caught up in the euphoria of charles winning that for a moment i lived in a world where you confirmed a relationship

charles_leclerc added to their story

yourusername

liked by zendaya, florencepugh, charles_leclerc and 217.291 others

yourusername from italy to france! award season is getting kicked off in the city of love and lights <3

view all 27.281 comments

y/nfan THAT DRESS

y/ngoddess we will get so fed with content!!!!

zendaya we need to hang more

yourusername you decided not to show up 🙄😉

charleslechair charles’ story and now this I’ve had ENOUGH (jk never stop)

yourbestie I spy with my little eye... a hot girl off the market after this weekend :/

honeybadger the bestie of y/n being the real mvp was not on my bingo card

yourusername

liked by alexademie, pierregasly, charles_leclerc and 483.291 others

yourusername from celebrity crush to girlfriend in six months <3 @.charles_leclerc

view all 11.281 comments

charles_leclerc mon amour 💖

liked by yourusername

honeybadger SJAKJSKAKSKAKSKAKKSKAKKSJAJSKKW ?????

charleslechair I feel you girl

yourbestie my reaction when I found out

liked by charles_leclerc

pierregasly finally

yourusername says you 😒

alexademie 🖤

f1gossip this was only possible in parts to us 😁

mercmaids he manifested himself a girlfriend in six months meanwhile I'm over here struggling to manifest an iced coffee 😭

tifosi16 I'm not jealous I'm not jealous I'm not jealous I'm not jealous I'm not jealous I'm not jealous I'm--

y/nfan pretends to be shocked 😶😶

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#f1 instagram au #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc image #**mine #if the last few posts look funky look away 😭😭😭 the formatting is so little on tablet

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sc0tters · 1 year

Text

Pent Up | Adam Fantilli

summary: being Adam’s roommate comes with its perks, and a whole load of sexual tension.

request: yes/no

warnings: sexual themes, face riding, p in v, swearing.

word count: 2.39k

authors note: don’t think I’ve ever brought Gavin into one of these before so here he is. I behaved even tho kei told me not to 😝 and yeah, wrote this like hella late so you’re getting one thought carried on. And let’s hope that this meets faithlynn’s expectations cause we don’t know when she’s gonna read one of these again 🫶

When Gavin tasked you with being the friendly face in Columbus that Adam needed you swore it wouldn’t be hard.

You were a year and a half older than your brother and were beyond excited when your brother got drafted to the team a mere twenty minute drive from your apartment.

Having had met Adam on more than one occasion during the previous school year it was no surprise that you two clicked within weeks of him arriving in Ohio, even going as far as to give him the second bedroom in your apartment.

It was clear that Adam didn’t want to live alone and you really could have done with the money, and who really says no to a hot new roommate?

Yes you knew it was wrong to see your brothers friend in that light. But Gavin really did seem to have the skills of picking friends that all fell right into your type: tall and hot.

Much to your irritation though Adam and you kept things purely platonic. Even going as far as avoiding the apartment so that the other could get some quiet time to fuck someone.

You knew it was hypocritical because you also abused this benefit of being friends with your roommate but the few times you participated in it you brought home different guys. Adam on the other hand after two months of bringing home different girls finally settled on one, Kayla.

She seemed nice and thankfully didn’t go to your university but you couldn’t help but get frustrated each time you saw him bring her home.

That’s what brought on the plan of tonight.

Your friends invited you out to some party that a frat on campus was hosting “you are getting all dressed up for game day.” Adam pointed out letting a soft laugh fall from his lips as he watched you apply a shimmery highlighter to your nose.

Your lips pursed together at the realisation that you had let his reminder slip your mind “I’m not coming tonight.” You announced digging through your lipsticks as his hand reached out to stop you “you aren’t coming?” He repeated your words as he frowned.

Adams gaze hardened as you used your other hand to grab your lipgloss “some of the girls wanted to go to this frat for a party and when they said that Justin was gonna be there-” Justin was a guy from your creative writing course in freshman year who thought that you were cute and has since been flirting with you “who the hell is Justin?” The hockey player furrowed his eyebrows at the mention of the boy as you got up running your fingers through your hair “you better not be wearing that to see him.” It was a red dress that cut just above your breasts and ended at the middle of your thighs. A beautiful dress, but not for the Ohio November weather.

You rolled your eyes as you crossed your arms unintentionally pushing your breasts up, a gesture that didn’t go unnoticed by Adam “if you want to start commenting on what girls wear Adam.” Your face clearly showed that you were irritated “then I suggest you go and call that little girlfriend of yours, Layla was it?” Before he had a chance to respond there was a knock at the door and the all too familiar sounds of your friends voices “good luck tonight.” You mumbled pressing a kiss to his cheek before you made your way to the front door grabbing your sneakers in the process.

Adam watched with an irritated expression on his face “she knew it was Kayla.” He mumbled before he stomped into his room having to get ready to leave for the game.

If there was a word to describe how poorly Adam played tonight then it wasn’t in his direction as absolute fucking dog shit even complimented how he played. Each time he got the puck he then quickly lost it. If there was a fight he could have gotten into he did, and it got so bad that the penalty box almost felt like it was his friend.

Adam simply couldn’t help but focus on the fact that you were out with some guy who clearly wasn’t going to appreciate you.

The coaches naturally sent him home after a long talking to and even after a shower where all he could smell was that strawberry shower gel that you use, you still weren’t home.

In fact it took you another ninety minutes before you landed back at your door.

You quietly opened the door as you thought that Adam was sleeping so you got the fright of your life seeing him silently staring at the door from his seat “Jesus Adam! You scared me!” Your hand clutched your chest as you shut the door behind you make your way over to where the boy sat.

He remained silent as your hand gripped at his knee “how was the game?” It was you trying to be rude but it was the reminder of you not being there that Adam so desperately wanted to avoid “played like shit.” Adam confessed as he stared at your manicured nails that drew soft figures on his leg “how is Justin?” The distain in his voice was clear making you scoff as you got up.

A frown formed on your lips “shouldn’t you be more worried about Kayla?” You shot back making him follow your actions as he got up “you getting jealous of her or something?” The hockey player towered of you as he stood up

You rolled your eyes “why should I be jealous of someone who I know has a way worse sex life than me.” You knew that Adam had heard you with your vibrator once or twice after you heard him grunt your name in the shower.

Adam clenched his fists as you let out a laugh “good night Adam.” You went to place your hand on his shoulder but instead the boy grabbed your hand pulling you closer to him “you really think I’m a bad fuck?” Was the first thing that came out of his mouth as he sent you a glare “like I couldn’t have you coming in minutes?” He added pressing you against the wall “quicker than that pathetic vibrator of yours? The air in the room went dry as you realised that he knew about that.

You blinked repeatedly “would like to see you try.” Your mouth often got you into trouble and it seemed that today was no different when his lips captured yours.

The hockey player smiled at how your body melted against him “jump,” he ordered wrapping his arms around your legs as he brought you into your bedroom.

To the untrained eye you two looked like a couple who had been touched deprived for days as he let your body fall onto your bed “can’t believe he let you go looking like this.” Adam clicked his tongue taking in the sight that was your body “want to have you on my face.” He confessed making your eyes go wide as he pulled your dress up to the the white panties that made him lick his lips.

You whimpered feeling him hook his fingers in the material “haven’t done that before.” You mumbled as your panties ran down your legs before the boy could throw them somewhere in your room “you trust me?” Adam asked bringing his lips to yours for a quick peck as you nodded.

With one quick movement the boy was laying on your bed as you lowered your hips above his face “baby you aren’t gonna break me, I fucking bench more than you weigh.” Adam cooed watching you pull your dress off before you let your legs hover above his face making him roll his eyes as he wrapped his arms around your legs bringing your cunt to his face.

A squeal left your lips as you were surprised “shit Adam!” You moaned gripping your fingers on the head board.

His tongue found it’s home in your core as his nose hit your clit “you’re actually good at this” your surprise came from the fact that you weren’t used to college boys being good when it came to being good at eating girls out.

Adam responded with a simple smack to your ass that made you jump “behave princess.” The hockey player warned bringing his hand over to your clit “right there.” You cooed feeling the sensation of his beard between your thighs as you rode his face.

You had to admit that you were getting closer to your high as the boy locked eyes with you “I’m gonna-“ you felt your legs clench around his head but that never faltered his movements, in fact that made him quicken his actions as his thumb pressed harder on your clit.

A white cast painted over your eyes as you came, Adam continued to guide your motions as he helped you through your orgasm “too much,” you shook your head “too much.” You repeatedly grabbing ahold of his hair as you tried to stop your movements.

As much as Adam wanted to push you into another orgasm or two before he let you get off of him, he was desperate to slide his cock into your soaked cunt and that was enough for the hockey player to let you off of him.

He lay you down next to him seeing how red your thighs were “sorry,” he apologised pulling his shorts down as he watched you undo your bra.

You smiled shaking your head “just come and fuck me already.” Your vulgar words made him feel for comfortable as Adam reached into his wallet to find a condom “want to do the honours baby?” The hockey player asked handing you the silver packet.

Between a kiss you still focused on wrapping his cock in the latex before you brought it over your clit “such a needy fucking baby for someone who has already had an orgasm tonight.” Adam grunted as he let your cunt swallow his cock.

Your face screwed tight as you adjusted to his size “move, please.” You requested wanting to feel some kind of pace from the hockey player.

His cock throbbed inside your cunt as he picked your legs up so that his cock could slide deeper into your core “what would Gav say about this?” He groaned against the shell of your ear making you cry out in pleasure “bout his big sister getting fucked by his friend?” The hockey player let out a grunt as you clenched around his cock.

His lips danced over your throat leaving sloppy marks as a trail “I don’t know Adam,” your fingers grabbed at the sheet beneath you as you strangely thought back to your brothers requests when it came to how you treated Adam.

Play nice

Be his friendly face

Under no circumstances were you to sleep with him

Okay so maybe the first two were easier to do than the last one but you had lasted more than two months without that one, so surely it had to count for something?

The boy’s efforts switching between sucking and kissing up your throat pulled your attention away from your thoughts “someone is going to see Adam.” You were surprised that you could even form a coherent sentence as your mind felt like it had formed a fog over your thoughts.

He smiled as his teeth nipped at your skin “worried what fucking he might say?” Adam couldn’t even bring himself to say his name out loud as he cringed at the thought “n-no Gav.” You shook your head reminding him of the fact that you were seeing your brother for thanksgiving, a mere two days away.

That made Adam pull his focus from your neck to your lips “could just keep you in turtlenecks.” He grumbled picking your legs up so that he g could press you further into your bed “I’m not gonna last.” You confessed as his lips captured yours.

It made the boys ego grow “I know baby me too.” Adam was waiting for you to come so that he wasn’t the first one as he feared finishing before you “shit A!” You cried out as your hips jerked causing your cunt to clench around his cock as you came.

Your orgasm spurred his on as his head dropped to your shoulder as he let his teeth softly sink into the area of skin “so good baby-so good.” Adam groaned with his last thrust before he let his cock slide out of your cunt.

Adam couldn’t help it when a laugh fell from his lips as he took in your fucked out state “you’re so hot.” He blurted out causing you to look at him with a smile “you are too,” you mumbled rolling over to kiss his lips.

Not even twenty four hours later you were already feeling the consequences of sleeping with him.

The boy smirked as he watched you struggle to sit down “you okay?” Adam grinned seeing you in a vest that highlighted the hickies that marked your neck.

Your core felt tender as you tried to find a comforting position “shut up,” you grumble sending him a glare that made him laugh.

Adam held his hand out to you “think I’ve got a way to make you feel better.” The hockey players proposed as his hand ran up your thighs “how do you know that it is what I want?” You smiled finding your place on his thigh.

He rubbed his thumb over your side as he cooed “something about the way you moaned last night with my head between your thighs tells me you want it again.” Adam watched as you placed your hands on either side of his face letting him guide your hips against him “Gav is gonna kill you.” Your reminder made him laugh as your lips hovered over his “and I think that you are totally worth it.” His confession had your legs clamping down around his thigh as you turned red “what do you say about a date when you’re back?” Adam’s forwardness was not something that you were used to after sleeping with a guy.

“I’d say that it sounds great.”

#Adam Fantilli smut #Adam Fantilli imagines #hockey smut #nhl smut #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #nhl oneshot #oneshots #imagines #amber writes fics

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fallingfor-fics · 6 months

Text

Jealousy - Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Okay this is scary ... my first Melissa fic! Please let me know if yall fw it.

Warnings: minimal angst, dom!Melissa/spanking, not any straight smut tho

Word Count: 3.1k

Summary: You accidentally make Melissa too jealous in a space out of her control, so she decides to take it into her own hands and remind you of your place.

This is inspired from a scene in one of my new fav movies Secretary (2002)

This was thrown together when I got the inspo so I hope its not too shitty!

The day started out wonderful, birds were chirping and the sun was peeking in through the sheer curtains that glazed the windows in Melissa’s bedroom. You couldn't have had a better start to a Wednesday. Wednesdays were always your favorite day, no lunch duty and halfway done with the school week. Which meant you were halfway to spending all weekend tangled up in your girlfriend's arms (and legs). The traffic on the drive to work was practically non-existent and you seemed to only hit green lights. Melissa had a firm hand on your thigh as she drove and you managed to make it to work on time. So how you ended up flushed, out of breath, and bent over your desk as Melissa’s hand placed firm smacks on your ass, was a mystery. Or so you pretended it was.

“How was lunch duty yesterday Y/n?” Barbara asked from across the breakroom as she went to sit next to Melissa at a table.

“It wasn't that bad for once!” You chirped, making eye contact with the red head who smirked and turned back to her coffee allowing a small blush to grace your cheeks from the interaction. Before you could make your way to the table you heard a voice call your name from the doorway.

“Miss L/n can I talk to you for a second?” Dylan, a new fifth grade teacher like yourself, called with a smile on his face.

“Of course, and please Y/n is fine!” You smiled, setting your coffee down next to Melissa, who looked up at you with an unsatisfied glare which she allowed to follow you out of the door as you approached Dylan. You didn't enter too far in the hallway and could still be seen, and heard, by Melissa's spot at the table, and of course as nosey as she is, she didn't take her eyes off of you and Dylan.

“What's up? Have you been settling in okay?” You ask politely with a smile gracing your face.

“Yeah I have, thank you so much for all the help, you have been so kind to me and helping with the lesson plans, and oh god the projector-- has been so appreciated.” he gushed and flashed you a grin, looking you up and down, stepping closer. Melissa rolled her eyes at the remarks, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

“Oh don't mention it! I had someone do the same for me when I first started and I don't know what I would have done without her.” Your back was turned slightly to Melissa so you couldn't see the cocky grin she had on her face over-hearing that. You and her were keeping your relationship under wraps to avoid the whole school making a big deal out of it. Something you both were perfectly content with and honestly preferred. Melissa was snapped out of her daze when she heard the sweet sound of your laughter from the hall. She must have missed the joke Dylan said that was apparently so funny it had you covering your mouth as your cheeks grew red and you placed a hand on his arm, shoving it playfully. Melissa felt her own cheeks growing hot but not from laughter. She squeezed her mug tight, her knuckles turning white as she forced herself to look away. Melissa was an incredibly jealous person, but you loved that about her cause so were you. You knew the root of jealousy for you both did not come from insecurity but more so possession. When Melissa was jealous she became incredibly protective and therefore sexy. You always secretly loved when a man would flirt with you when you two were out, because it always led to Melissa giving a snarky remark to the man, and then taking out her anger on you in the bedroom. You knew Melissa was watching, and you wanted her riled up so when you got home tonight, she didn't… hold back. What you didn't know was that things weren't going to necessarily follow your pre-planned timeline.

“So what do you say? Dinner tonight?” Dylan asked, flashing dreamy eyes at you. You stopped laughing fairly quickly and was obviously caught off guard from the question.

“Wait, what?” You squinted in shock, your hand now resting on your chest to play with your necklace, one gifted to you by the redhead who was fuming a few feet behind the scene playing out.

“Dinner. To go over lesson plans.” Dylan restated confidently, moving his arm to rest up against the doorframe beside you. Your gaze followed his arm and soon realized what he was proposing.

“Oh. By lesson plans I thought you meant in my classroom like last time.” You cleared your throat, taking a step back slightly. He shook his head and moved his arm back to his side, not wanting to completely bruise his ego.

“Oh yeah we can do that then. Rain check on dinner?” he smirked.

��Uh yeah, sure.” You said with slight uncertainty, “I'll see you in my classroom after school then?” you clarified.

“Yeah I look forward to seeing you Mis- Y/n.” he corrected himself with a nod.

Before you could say a farewell of any kind so you could get back to your lunch, you felt someone roughly brush by you running into your shoulder as they walked out of the break room. You quickly noticed it was Melissa and your eyes went wide. That seemed a bit more aggressive than you were intending. You knew you couldn't follow after her immediately without looking suspicious so you watched as she disappeared down the end of the hall and you went to quickly finish your lunch. However, you didn't have time before lunch was over and you had to get back to teaching. Since you taught fifth, your students had three periods throughout the day and changed between you and two other teacher’s classes, Dylan being one of those teachers now. During the period changes Melissa would usually stop by to talk with you while her kids went on a bathroom break or were watching an educational movie. It was a short amount of time to see each other but something you had been doing since you practically started, however she didn't come today and you grew worried. You brushed it off knowing that you would at least see her at recess and continued on your day until then. But there you were, sitting on a bench watching kids run around playing, their screams growing muffled as you scanned the yard and checked the entrances continuously. No sign of Melissa, her kids were out here playing in the smaller jungle gym, but the redhead was nowhere in sight.

“Hey Barb, where is Melissa?” you yelled slightly so you could be heard over the noise.

“I don't know, I haven't seen her since lunch.” She shrugged.

You asked her to watch your kids while you ran to the bathroom and she nodded. You quickly made your way to Melissa's room, practically sprinting to get there. Crossing your fingers and praying to every god that she would be in there. Sure enough she was sitting at her desk, glasses perched on the end of her nose, a red pen in her hand as she graded papers. You walked in slowly, heels clicking on the tile as you approached her desk.

“Hey sweetie.” You greeted softly and she didn't answer. She continued to harshly mark the papers with X’s or checks.

“Do you want some help? Must be a lot to do if you're in here instead of at recess.” She still didn't answer, just grabbed a stack and a red pen and held them up for you to grab.

You grabbed them without question and sat at the desk in front of her and began grading them, every now and then glancing up at her. You could feel the heat radiating off of her and it honestly scared you a little. You were reluctant to say another word, or ask her a question in fear she would either explode or just storm out. You had played with her and her possessiveness before but she hadn't ever reacted this way, maybe you went too far. You couldn't have predicted Dylan would ask you out! You finally got the courage to speak up, hesitance present in your tone.

“Melissa?” you called and she hummed in response, that's a good sign. “Um, is everything ok-” before you could finish your sentence the bell was ringing, and you realized you left Barbara outside with the kids.

“Shit” you muttered, standing up and walking to her desk. “Um here, I'm sorry I'll see you after school?” you asked gently and she just grabbed the graded papers from your hands and nodded. One of the scariest things about this was the silence. It was thick, heavy, and suffocating. Melissa loved to argue, she loved to prove herself right, so the fact she was giving you the silent treatment was terrifying.

The rest of the day dragged on insufferably slow and you couldn't tear your eyes off of the clock, waiting for it to hit three fifteen and to hear the sweet ring of the bell. Finally the time came and you dismissed your students. You figured you wouldn't have time to see Melissa before Dylan got here so you just hoped and prayed she would come to you. Thoughts of the redhead filled your mind and caused the guilt to take over. You didn't understand what was so different about today that caused her to react this way. Maybe it was the environment. That's when it clicked, she was probably incredibly frustrated that she wasn't able to show that you were hers. She wasn't able to chew Dylan out with sarcastic yet classy insults because you were at work. That made you feel even worse at allowing Dylan to flirt for so long, and for playing into it. After a few minutes you got lost in your thoughts and didn't hear your girlfriend enter your room. You were brought out of your focus by a hand slamming a piece of paper down on your desk from behind you. You jumped in shock and quickly looked up when you felt Melissa standing close against your back with her hand around your shoulder sitting firmly on the paper on the desk. She lent down close to your ear and you felt a shiver run through you.

“You have multiple grading errors on this paper, are you trying to make me look like an idiot?” She whispered into your ear, her hot breath against your cheek. You quickly shook your head and turned to look at her, but she moved away and walked around you, causing you to turn back the other way and follow her with your eyes as she came to stand in front of you, her hands on your desk.

“I'm sorry Melissa-- I can fix it.” you stuttered out softly and she didn't offer so much as a sympathetic smile.

“Close the door.” she ordered in her deep voice, her eyes never leaving yours as her brow lifted. You quickly obeyed, getting up to shut it. As you walked back over to her you went to reach for her but she moved away, turning the paper on the desk to face away from your chair. You stood next to your desk watching her in confusion. She was acting so unusual. It wasn't like you weren't secretly enjoying this, but she hadn't behaved like this in school before. She walked over to your door and locked it, pulling the shade over the small window on it down. You felt your heart beat faster as she turned to face you again.

“Melissa, I didn't know Dylan was going to ask me out or that he even liked me. I was just trying to tease you-”

“Bend over and place your palms flat on the desk and look at the paper.” she interrupted with a monotone voice. You looked at her confused, looking around the classroom and then back at her. You and Melissa were into a lot of stuff when it came to kinks, so nothing was ever out of your comfort zone, you had just never done anything at school besides a mini makeout sesh.

“What? But- Melissa, someone could walk by.” you stated and she just walked closer to you. Her eyes scanning you up and down and her hips swaying. Her sparkling green eyes were dark and lustful now and you couldn't seem to read her as easily as you normally could.

“Y/n… Bend. Over.” She stated again and you obliged. She hardly used this tone on you and it sent a shiver up your spine. You felt like one of her students that was being scolded. Arousal and excitement was present but so was a slight sense of genuine fear. You walked to face your desk, placing your palms and elbows flat on either side of the paper, causing your ass to arch up so your back was more comfortable as you bent down fully. Looking at the paper you noticed her highlights on the errors you missed, or marked incorrectly. You soon felt her come up behind you and you forgot how to breathe. Your heart was racing, having nothing to look at but the paper before you. Your eyes darted across it, trying to use all your other senses to get an idea of what the woman was doing behind you. You heard her let out a shaky breath as her hand rested on your hip, squeezing ever so softly.

“You know how much I hate you flirting with other people, especially men like Dylan. Do you realize how much of a slut you look like when you do that at work?” Melissa scathed from behind, her grip on your hip tightening. Your breath hitched and you felt a warmth growing in your stomach.

“I wasn't flirting with him.” you quipped back, a false confidence laced in your words. Her other hand came to grip the other hip and you let your eyes shut for a brief moment.

“No man tells a joke that funny hon,” she laughed with a hidden aggression, the addition of the pet name causing you to press your ass back into her, but she stopped you with her grip, holding you into place. “And then, you do a half-ass job on my papers that I so graciously trusted you with even after the stunt you pulled at lunch.” she scoffed, one of her hands running up your back to grab ahold of your hair. She yanked it back slightly as she leaned forward to whisper in your ear earning a moan from you. “Read the paper, out loud.” she released your hair and you let out a small gasp as you looked back at the paper. You were definitely soaked and could feel the fire burning in your core, causing your vision to go blurry for a second. Before you could mutter another word, a knock came from your door and the handle jiggled.

“Y/n? Are you in there?” Dylan called from the other side. Your eyes went wide as you turned your head to the direction of the door. Then turning your head back to look at Melissa who gazed down at you with a smirk full of pity. Your mouth dropped open as you tried to think of what to say, the lights were still on so you couldn't just pretend to be gone. You felt Melissa run a hand down your thigh and your eyes fluttered, she grabbed for the hem of your skirt and you swallowed.

“I can't do lesson plans with you today Dylan! I'll see you tomorrow.” you yelled out and he muttered a response and then walked away.

“Melissa- we can't do this here anyon-”

“Read the paper Y/n.” she ordered, her voice deep and demanding, her hand leaving the hem of your skirt to meet your hip again. Your whole body filled with chills and you looked back at the paper, not wanting to disappoint the woman. You began with the first sentence, a spelling error you missed was highlighted.

“It can be hard to keep track of time when-” you were cut off by a harsh smack to your bottom. You let out a gasping breath you didn't realize you were holding in and slowly turned to look at her over your shoulder. When your eyes met with the redheads green ones they were filled with mischief and an envious lust. A small devilish smirk graced her face and she raised an eyebrow.

“Keep reading.”

You did as you were told and soon another smack was planted. She kept going as you read through the short paper. Speeding up her slaps and placing them across both sides of your ass. With every slap they grew harder and your body was pushing up against the desk. Moans escaping between sentences. You finished the paper and she moaned in disagreement breathing heavily as her own eyes threatened to shut.

“Again.”

You started again and she continued. Your ass was on fire and you loved it. Your hip bones in pain from hitting up against the desk, and your knees growing tired. You felt your arousal growing in your underwear and you began to lose your voice from your throat growing dry. Her slaps grew faster and harder and finally as you reached the end of the paper for a second time she delivered a final rough slap. She allowed herself to fall forward, her body pressed against yours and her hand coming to rest next to yours on the desk, her face inches from yours. You both breathed heavily and you allowed your eyes to shut for a moment. She moved her thumb to rub gently against your pinky in a gentle gesture to remind and reassure you of the true intentions behind her actions. As she stood back up she kissed the side of your head and straightened herself out. Fixing her hair as she used one hand to tap your hip a few times. You stood up, your back aching slightly, and your ass completely numb. You turned to face her with your cheeks red and your knees wobbling as you allowed yourself to lean back against your desk, still trying to catch your breath. She walked up to you and placed a hand to your jaw, pulling you in for a passionate kiss, her lips moving in sync with yours, slowly but deeply. She pulled away with a cocky grin, leaving your lips slightly red from her lipstick.

“Don't think your punishment is over hon, straighten yourself out and meet me in the car.” she said in a hushed and sensual tone, with a wink before letting go of your jaw and leaving your classroom.

You stood in shock for a moment before packing up your things quicker than you ever had before. Mentally preparing yourself for what is to come when you get home to Melissa’s.

#abbott elementary #melissa schemmenti #melissa x reader #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti x reader #lisa ann walter #melissa schemmenti angst

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