#this whole post is like /hj so dont worry too much about me

[addystuffs]

let me tell you all a story. (it is a tragic one) one day, my lovely friend introduced me to the game clangen. i had a lot of fun playing it and streaming it to my friends over discord. one fateful day this cat walked into my clan.

rizz. he was a trans male kittypet that walked into my clan, timberclan.

the rest of the story under the cut cuz this is a long story (but i promise it will be worth your time)

it was great. rizz sat in the background for a while, before eventually retiring and finding a mate.

then, one day, rizz became pregnant. i was elated. but when i went on with the moons, rizz died giving birth to 2 kits. both male. i was devastated. i hated those children. but then, i realized, no, thats silly, and named his children after him. rizzkit (to become rizz jr) and wkit (to becom w rizz)

and thus, the rizz bloodline was born. it was awesome. unfortunately, wpaw died before becoming a warrior, but i gave him his full warrior name, w rizz, in starclan.

soon, rizz jr found a mate and had more kits, rizzkit, (to become rizz the third) wkit, (to honor his lost brother) and also 2 female kits, named supporting and aiding kit respectively (to become supporting and aiding the rizz bloodline)

soon, my original leader, whirlstar, died of old age, and was replaced by waspflood. and who did i make deputy you ask?

rizz jr.

i made up my mind that day. from now on, this clan would be a monarchy of the rizz bloodline. i killed off waspstar after a while, to make way for rizz jr, and he became rizz jr star.

and so it went for a long time. rizz the third had rizz the fourth, and rizz the fourth had rizz the fifth. the rizz bloodline spanned the whole clan, with all distant relatives having the suffix of rizz. there was actually also up to w rizz the fourth. we lost many along the way but we were happy.

then i made the gravest mistake i could have made.

my clan was growing to huge numbers, around 140 cats in the clan. so, i decided to turn on mass extinction events for the heck of it. that was the gravest mistake i ever made in my entire life.

within moons, almost half my cats got taken by twolegs, including rizz the third, who was deputy. i definitely freaked out, but i wasnt entirely distraught yet. i made rizz the fourth deputy, and moved on with clan life.

but soon, another mass extinction event happened, this time killing the cats instead of just taking them away.

rizz the fourth and rizz the fifth died. rizz the fifth had not yet bore children either. the only direct descendant remaining was rizz jr star.

i desperately hit the timeskip button, hoping that rizz the third would come back to me.

but in my haste, i didnt notice that rizz jr star died until i got the message "timberclan has no leader"

at that point, i gave up.

i had vowed a while ago that, and i quote, "if the rizz bloodline ends i am deleting this clan"

so i did.

timberclan was no more.

the rizz bloodline was over.

there was nothing left.

i failed him.

i will never forget my journey with the rizz bloodline.

[antis-hell]

Hi! This is B from mycringethoughtsandcreations! It’s not my main blog so I don’t have the ability to ask questions from it, but I saw your reblog on my post and I’m so happy that you’re willing to talk about your experiences!

So my question is basically what is the correct way to validate a system? To tell them you’ll support them and all their alters? As a singular/singlet I don’t really understand the viewpoints of systems, and thus don’t know what is the best way to approach or talk to systems.

And if you could give some information on common system terminology that would be great!

Hey! Happy yall took up our offer:] any chance to talk about ourselves and we're all over it lmao/hj

The best way to validate a system really depends on the person (that's such a shit answer, but yeah;-;) For us, it's really just treating us like a normal person in one on one casual conversation, this is mostly cus we switch at pretty random times so to introduce yourself every hour can get a bit annoying, so we'd rather you just treat us like one(ish) person to save us the trouble.

In a more public space, like tumblr, we don't mind being treated as separate people (for example, asking, "Hey [Alter xyz], what's your favourite movie?" Becasue to us it shows you find us interesting rather than the whole bunch of us (think of it like asking one of your friends a question rather than your whole friend group at once, it shows you want to know that person on a more personal level) and tbh that also really makes our npd go brrrr/pos/lh

Although again as annoying as it is, not all systems are gonna be like this. Really, the best and quickest way is to ask! Most people in the community are more than willing to talk to singlets about how they prefer to be treated, so dont worry too much about negative responses:] or just follow their boundaries if they have those publicly posted that's also just the simplest way to support support anyone system or not

And for system terms I can do a few rapid fire ones I cam remember off the top of my head:] if there's any specific ones you'd like to know feel free to ask and I can tell ya what I know or what I can find about it:] (I'll put these under the cut because this post is already getting long god damm)

Introject: an alter that is based off an external thing like a character from a TV show or a song:] and also sometimes just physical objects in everyday life (we for example have an introject of a teddy bear we had as a child)

Fictive/Factive/Songtive: a more specific term for the type of media an introject is from, if it is fictional media like a TV character, they are a fictive. If they are sourced from a real person like an actor or youtuber, they are a factive. And if they are sourced from a song, like an alter that embodies teenagers by mcr (it's the first song that came to my head lol) or has memories of some of the things described in the song they can be considered a songtive

Singlet: a common one:] the medical term for anyone who dosent have DID or OSDD

Persecutor: a kind of role an alter in a system might have, I chose to do this one out of all kinds of roles since I've seen it be the most questioned/asked about, a persecutor is an alter that harms the body in some way, this may be by cutting off close friends or by physically harming the body in some way, this is mostly because they believe it is the right thing to do (for example cutting off friends because they think everyone will hurt them eventually) typically they are also hold trauma to some extent

Blurry: used mostly to describe a system that doesn't know who's fronting at the time. This might be because of heavy dissociation, or it could be because there are too many people in font to recognise every alter (there are other reasons, i think, but this is what happens most of the time)

This is all I could really think of at the moment;-; if there's anything else you want me to talk about, feel free to send another ask, and we'll be happy to help:] I apologise for any spelling/grammar mistakes we wrote this in a very hazy state so there might be some spelling errors

[sunlightsshadow]

Heal What Has Been Hurt Liveblog

hello and welcome to the first of 5 initial (but probably not Only) posts recounting my liveblogging of Heal What Has Been Hurt by @sunlitmcgee

ch1: and the universe said "I Love You"

c! tech did one (1) good thing and it was burning the egg

gogy mention/pos

its only ch1 and they've already gone DadMode. hasnt even even , talked to the boy yet/lh

XD :D

ch2:Flower Gleam and Glow

"weirdo mother hen guardian angel nanny thing." hehehe

moths moths moths moths moths

Clara :D

ch3: I've Been Ghosting Your Dreams

i wonder how tommy feels about warm rain

my browser crashed god dad is too powerful/j

ghostbur :DDD

oh i have so many feelings about ghobur

ch4:Come, My Child

not lots of thoughts just enjoying the domesticity of the bois

did enjoy the star freckles tho

ch5:Like A Busy Bee Taking Flight

"large purple man" thanos/neg

compass compass compass compass (im wearing my Your Tommy compass my bf bought me <3)

heheh dad said pogchamp

ch6:Flying Like a Bee, Black and Yellow Energy

hehe derivikat lyrics

xd dad god. why is that form even still in your rotation/lh

ranboo/pos. i love all Ranboos

hehehe time to sin!

c! techno/neg

xd having several children who are gods and can take care of themselves and having to focus your attention on the whole of creation is different than abandoning your litteral tiny children to go adventuring w a gladiator who hears voices

xd you could have shifted forms dont yell at them/lh

ch7:Cold. Why You Gotta Treat Me So Cold?

weird schlatt tubbo/neg nightmare tubbo/neg

GOD I hate exile

I am so emotional over them GODS

I need someone to be proud of me like xd is proud of tommy

I want a god dad. the yearning is strong

ch8: sweet like honey

any time someone writes tommy saying the phrase "ill be good" istg i feel my heart break

back sore, clue #1

micha 🥺

ch9: I Think You're All Insane

_beloved family/pos

PUFFY!!

every time i manage to forget the captain is dreams mom someone reminds me :/(/hj/nm/lh)

no more memory broke :D

am i using that emoji to much? i do not care<3

god enderman lore/pos

ch10: Deep In The Meadow

i also feel Okay. this is a good place to be

there is something so personal about tommy wanting to end the cycle of abuse and worrying he'll end up like the people who hurt him

good people have intrusive thoughts tommy:(

ch11:Here it's Safe, and Here it's Warm

hehehehe Wings also toms XD would never leave you :(

"you'll instinctively know" its not instincts if it hurts Philza

god i fucking love the personification of instincts. so much. its such a cool thing

ch12:Why, Tell Me, Father?

tommy has a perfect comfy bed and doesnt wanna move. mood

tommy is starting to heal and i love that for him/gen

how DID xd figure that out?

ive just decided just now while rereading that xd was too nice to phil

"you're still here" im gonna SOB

heal! emerald duo/neg

I wanna hug tommy :(

ch13:It's a Promise for Life Between Father and Child

what if i just [takes a white out pen to tommys trauma] look now hes just a lil guy! (someone do this to me)

[beats the doomsday bitches over the head with a stick] i will actually never be normal abt c!tommy

mmmm i should play omori

tinyboo. itty bitty

i dont wana read the interaction w technoooo [reads it anyways] its important

Ghobur! he back!

i think more people should let ghostbur get angry

ch14:How Would You Know?

idk how phil cant sense the Pissed Off aura xd must be giving off rn

in which xd is my spirit animal

:D(malicious)-XD

i like his hat :(

somebody please do this w my dad

ch15: Remember to be Patient

i am obsessed w instinct stuff. lil baby birb go peep peep

i was so lost in the euphoria of birb i forgot to have thoughts

ch16:Fold Up Your Wings, Close Your Eyes

WING TIME WING TIME WING TIME

"it's beautiful… except of course for the unholy screams"

xd " claws" and " adorable" are not generally words that go together

he is SAD the baby is SAD :(

what would xd do if tommy turned into an actual baby?

"its me?" AWWWW🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

hes a baby

i will kill any god for him

baby boy

precious

oh boo even *mentions* agere how did I miss that the first time? tommy is simply baby

ch17: See the Sunset

cant see glass<3

i want a cool space blanket (I have a non-binary flag space blanket tho :3)

I also like when things make click clack noises… am i birb?

I love hiiiiimmmmm

ch18:Nothing Could Tear Us Apart

they can both be clingy it's okay

i almost forgot to open my document when I started reading again

[wilbur voice] quackityyyyy

hes not even actually here but I'm lobe himb

hehehe lovey dovey qpps/pos

i adore my qpps and my bf

GOD i am not NORMAL about platonic soulmate clingyduo there is nothing normal abt my mind state towards them!

"You were worth more than L'manburg ever was…" grrrrrr growl hiss its so GOOD

more baby birb🥺

ch19:Come out and Play

is he a demigod now?

bird time again!

i love instinct shit have i mentioned that?/hj

baby baby boy/pos

i was reading this the first time and I was just like. hes so small

i fuckin love my comfort chara using my coping mechanisms

And with that it's back to reading<3

[unholyxvoid]

that’s sweet of you to say! i’m just some guy at the end of the day though, i’m not going anything special. but i am glad it means something to you. <3

that’s makes sense! for us having pdid, it’s funny that we have 100+ headmates. we have some who are on the nonverbal spectrum, but none who don’t use words at all. i think it would be really frustrating for us, because i, maw, get super frustrated when i go nonverbal from overstimulation and such. i think it’s best we don’t have nonverbal headmates, but i also can’t control it if we ever do. also funny story that when i was in the questioning phase of if we had vessel or not, that i thought bite would be nonverbal? it’s really funny it turned to be the opposite lol. brain really said switcheroo.

i wish you luck with the new headmate though, it’s stressful to find out about new additions. let me know if you need help or anything. i turned on post notifications for you guys if that isn’t weird? i just thought it was better than to keep checking for answered asks, you know? so i’ll see if you post anything about me or something.

yeah, me too! would be fun and a nice bonding experience. i don’t know if i actually know anyone with pdid. i think my ex had pdid but we obviously don’t talk anymore as they are my ex, and even then i was new to discovering our system compared to now. therefore i didn’t really think too much of us possibly having the same back then.

i think the whole darkness thing makes sense for us overall as a collective. because our headspace is exactly as you’ve described yours. it’s just a black fuckin void of nothingness that is shaped but you can’t tell it’s shaped since it’s just pitch black. if this makes sense! we’ve always had a complicated way of trying to get it across. i think black hole makes sense for me though with bpd, like feeling like i’m just a thing like that. i dunno! weird stuff. it’s also funny to me for us that the further i figure out stuff about myself as the main fronter, that our system is very leaning towards aroace and nonhuman. we’ve had an influx of nonhuman headmates recently since i’ve realized i’m more nonhuman than i thought before. it’s been a weird one!

and, too, i would like to figure out more ways that i am nonhuman but i have no idea how to go about that as just a whole of itself. i can describe one way i’ve figured out something for me if that’s of any interest to you.

that’s okay! we also do that, it was just an offer that you can take at any time, and an open invitation to do so, you know? just an established thing! no worries about it at all if you never think of anything. promise.

that’s also okay!!! don’t apologize for things like that, i get it. we’ve been really dissociated for the past few days, so i understand. i hope it gets better soon.

-maw 🪽

just some guy in my asks giving me supply by sending me asks to be fair so like . keep em coming yk lmao /nf

damn post notifications on for us ? youre making me blush /hj do what you gotta man stalk me if you must , trust me i will not complain , youre feeding me well

we dont personally know anyone with pdid i think (im very sorry if we do and just forgor) but our mates have did and theyre actually the first system we ever had contact with , so a lot of what we know and stuff comes from them , but again they have did not pdid so while theyre still very helpful its not like we can really compare our experiences too much

i honestly dont know how many there are . there could be way more than im aware of but i can only really count what i know so i say theres only a few since i only know of a few . the nonverbal thing gets somewhat frustrating for me too especially since i want to talk to iv , but thats honestly less of a problem than him not being around is bc sometimes he just . is gone for a while . and im left wondering if he ever even existed :/

well if you do realize part of darkness then hello me spawn good to know youre one of mine :) and i agree its sometimes a little difficult to explain exactly how we work as well especially with the void being my core being and everything else stemming from that , weve tried making posts about it but i feel like none of them are 100% exactly what id like to convey . and id definitely like to know more about how youve figured things out

[herofics]

Hey! Was wondering if you did suggestive content? (I was about to put slightly but this is very much out there, still not fully down and dirty though I don't think ((unless you wanna go there? 😏/hj)) so don't worry 💀💀)

So I was wondering, Dabi, Toga and Twice separately with a gn!so, right? And the s/o is like very open and expressive with everything, very important to note that it's very, very rare to actually see them like shyly flustered for this next part 💀

So basically, one day they're like in private with their s/o and like they're in the mood and whatever and it's building up to the actual thing but like when they're like just about

The *very* open and *very* expressive and *very* confident s/o just starts acting like extremely shy and flustered / embarrassed about everything... basically just a virgin... but... times... pi. Yes. Times pi.

"Oh my god naked bodies 😃😲😳😳🤯😳🤠😳🤯😳🥳"

"OH MY GOD SEX 😟🤓🙁😎😖😥😦😲🤪🤫😐🤭🤭🤗🤪🤗😝😗🥲🥰☺🥰🙃🙃🥰☺😅😝"

"OH MY GOD WE'RE *BOTH* NAKED 🤯🥳🤠🥳🤠🥳🤠🤯🥵🤠🥵🤯🤠😥🤠😥"

"STOP WHAT IF I DONT DO IT RIGHT 💀💀💀💀"

"UHH ARE YOU SURE ABOUT LIKE... DOING... *THIS*???? 😩😫🤯🥳😈😳😳😳😳"

Puts their arms around their head (kinda like deku actually! Just remembered he does that with homegirl uraraka) and just blushes at the fact that they're maybe, possibly, PERHAPS gonna go down. Honestly also just thinks about how beautiful their s/o is all the while 😇

PLS IM SORRY FOR THIS ITS BEEN ON MY MIND FOR AGES AND IF UR UNCOMFY I UNDERSTAND LIKE BEYOND CONPLETELY BUT AS THAT ONE IMAGE I SAW LIKE MONTHS AGO SAYS

"aw man! I can't find the fic that I want on tumblr! And not even the sickos on Ao3 have it, but I can't go about writing it myself!"

So I'm begging for help to my fav fic writer here 💀 I am so sorry that you had to be cursed with this ask 🙏 I truly am

I made you some HCs, since I didn’t feel like doing scenarios and I can fit more stuff into them. I’ve been meaning to add to the rules that suggestive stuff is okay, and I hope this is okay. Toga is aged up to 18 or over and the guys are with a partner of their own age too. I have this one NSFW Dabi post if you want something actually smutty, it’s older so probably not very good. If someone doesn’t want to see posts of this type, blacklist the tag: suggestive. Thank you for requesting this, it was fun to write

Minors stay away I guess?

~Twice/Jin Bubaigawara~

•Twice has not had an intimate relationship since his incident with the whole personality split thing

•He’s very much into you, but he hasn’t pressured or even really asked about if you would like to get intimate with him, because things are enough for him as they are

•Don’t get me wrong he’s totally down to fuck if you want to, but he doesn’t bring it up

•So when you’re a stammering, flustered mess and you’re muttering about how you don’t know what you should do or what you even like really, he’s telling you he’ll make sure you enjoy it and have a good first time

•When the clothes come off you’re sitting on his lap and he’s kissing your neck and his hands are traveling up and down your sides and back

•He keeps talking the whole time, praising you and telling you how good you’re doing, but there’s probably just a little bit of degradation thrown in there too, because that’s just how he talks and is

•So don’t take it badly, if you’re not into that, he tries to keep it to the praising though

•Twice makes sure to keep asking you if you like what he’s doing, because he needs the reassurance too

•You answer his questions, and ask if you’re doing things right and if he likes what you’re doing, but otherwise it’s all moaning and whimpering from you

•Twice doesn’t care about his own pleasure that much, he just wants to make sure you enjoy yourself as much as possible

~Dabi/Todoroki Touya~

•Dabi hasn’t had many relationships, at least not very permanent ones, it’s mostly been about sex for him with the people that came before you

•But it’s different now, he wants to prioritize someone else other than himself for the first time in a long time

•So when you’re getting a bit hot and heavy and he asks if it’s okay to go further, you’re really not sure what you should say or do

•You get super awkward and whisper super quietly “I’m a virgin”

•Dabi can’t make out what you’re saying, because you’re so quiet, so he asks you to repeat yourself

•You’re a bit frustrated, sexually and just normally, so you repeat it pretty loudly

•Dabi chuckles and goes “It’s okay sweetness, I’ll take care of you”

•It’s pretty slow going at first, because he wants you to be sure that you like what’s happening

•He probably kisses every inch of your body during the whole thing, and you’re very much reciprocating

•Dabi is taking the lead in  the situation, but he makes sure you enjoy everything he’s doing as much as he does

•He can get a bit rough at times, but it isn’t his intention to hurt you, unless you want him to of course

•He doesn’t talk much but when he does, he’s praising you, telling you how good you feel and how beautiful you are

•Afterwards he holds you close and makes sure you feel alright and that you enjoyed the whole thing

~Toga Himiko~

•Toga hasn’t actually really dated anyone before you, not seriously anyway, and even if she did, she would’ve most likely just ended up killing her partner before it got intimate

•So she’s never had sex either, but she is very interested and she thinks you’d be a great person to have her first time with and maybe even experiment a bit with

•So when you’re making out and you’re both starting to feel like you want to take it a step further you ask each other if you’re up for it

•Toga is more on the “taking initiative” side, so when she’s straddling your hips and kissing and biting on your neck, she notices you seem pretty frozen in place

•So she lifts her head and you’re bright red and you’ve wrapped your arm over your eyes

•She asks if you’re okay and you start stammering like “Yeah-yeah, I’m totally fine, nothing to worry about here, no sir, I so-so know what I’m doing”

•Toga giggles a bit, because you’re so flustered and awkward, she just asks what’s bothering you and sits on top of you still

•You kinda squirm and try to avoid the question, but Toga starts tickling you and you give in quickly because you end up barely being able to breathe

•You tell her you’re a virgin and you have no experience with this stuff, so you don’t want to disappoint her or do something wrong

•She tells you she’s not experienced either, and that you don’t know how it is until you try

•You’re both fumbling around, you more than Toga but still

•Toga is taking the lead a bit and you’re both exploring each other’s bodies, inch by inch

•Toga takes your hand and puts it on her lower belly, letting you decide where to go from there

•It’s a great time for both of you, many good times are achieved, many times in a row, by both of you

•Toga bites a lot though, so there is bound to be some blood involved, but not too much, because she is pretty much like a vampire

•In the end you’re both pretty tired, but very, very happy

[hoeforinarizaki]

Hello There! Navigate Here:

"Welcome to hoeforinarizaki's page!"

I'll make it clear i write only for haikyuu on this tumblr account, but if there are other fandoms you want me to write for just go to my main @sparklingbluerose !

At the time, my requests are open so ask away. I don't really have any restrictions so go as wild as you want. Except maybe Character x Characters, since i'm not too good at writing those types of things (though i'm an IwaOi shipper–)...

POSTING SCHEDULE!

I already thought of this beforehand...so i guess i'll write down the schedule here as it's easier to understand.

MONDAY.

TUESDAY.

THURSDAY.

FRIDAY.

SATURDAY.

I removed Wednesday and Sunday because i sometimes end up not posting something at all, and i actually want to follow this schedule so Wednesday is basically a small break to be able to get enough idea and motivation to write. My family and i usually go out to church and eat out together on Sundays, so that'll also be counted as a break somewhat.

REQUESTING PAGE!

I will write anything and everything you want, but i guess there's always going to be rules. Not to worry! I won't put too many restrictions since i want everyone to enjoy and say what they really want to read. And so, here are the do's and dont's.

DO NOT...

Request extremely kinky stuff (piss, knife play, etc.)

I am fine with kinks actually, but extreme stuff are a bit too much for me to actually write. Sorry about that.

Be rude to others in any way (racism, insulting, etc.)

I want this to be a good place for people to express themselves without any judgement! Please be mindful.

Make multiple requests at the same time.

Having people tell me too much stuff is a little overwhelming, and so maybe make another request once i finish the first.

YOU MAY...

Send me anything in my inbox, ranging from requests to questions to venting. I'm all ears and listening is what i mostly do, so please just type away.

Tell me what you want me to write whether it be triggering or just pure smut. I'll make sure to put the warnings i need to at the start. Feel free to ask to get tagged.

Chat with me and call me whatever you wish. Let's be good friends, it would be nice. Send me lots of memes since i laugh at everything and anything, though.

CHARACTERS || LIMIT:

The request limit for individual characters is 10.

However!

If you request teams, i will do all of them.

I write for everyone! From main characters to side characters, heck i'll admit i'm a simp for everyone, especially Futakuchi.

Complete Character List...

KARASUNO

Hinata, Kageyama, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Sawamura, Sugawara, Nishinoya, Ryunnosuke, Azumane, Ukai, Takeda, Hitoka, Shimizu, Kinoshita, Ennoshita, Kazuhito, Saeko

NEKOMA

Kuroo, Kozume, Morisuke, Lev, Alice, Taketora, Akane, Nobuyuki, Shibayama, Fukunaga

AOBA JOHSAI

Oikawa, Hanamaki, Iwaizumi, Matsukawa, Yahaba, Kyōtani, Watari, Kunimi, Kindaichi

FUKURODANI

Bokuto, Akaashi, Konoha, Washio, Sarukui, Komi

INARIZAKI

Shinsuke, Atsumu, Osamu, Ojiro, Rintaro, Omimi, Ginjima

SHIRATORIZAWA

Wakatoshi, Tendō, Semi, Goshiki, Shirabu, Yamagata, Ōhira

JOZENJI

Terushima, Bobata, Misaki, Futamata, Numajiri, Īzaka

DATE TECH

Futakuchi, Takanobu, Moniwa, Sakunami, Onagawa, Nametsu, Kamasaki, Fukiage

NOHEBI

Suguru, Naoyasu, Kazuma, Yoshiya, Yamaka, Isumi

Writing Forms...

SCENARIOS. Whether short or long, i'm happy to know you enjoyed thinking about this and picturing it internally XD

HEADCANONS. Got anything you want to be briefly written in these terms? Then go ask away! I'll take it on.

ANGST. My whole blog might be filled with angst tropes, because why not? I'm a little obsessed. Up to you though.

SMUT. I'm supporting all horny thoughts and my fellow lovely thirsty people out there ;) whatever it is, just ask.

FLUFF. If you need some serotonin, i'm definitely going to make my writing just diabetic as that depression /hj

PLATONIC. You wanna feel like the lovechild of a ship or be your favorite character's bestie? Then type away.

DISCORD:

I'm thirsting on haikyuu so much, and this is the only fandom i've been attracted to longer than the rest i've been. So if you have any active discord servers related to haikyuu in any way, please chat me and give me a link i'm just a simp 🤣

And also, i just want to make friends. So if you're thinking the same, don't hesitate to send me a hello 👌 (i don't bite at all lol...no but seriously i don't fr–)

Masterlists...

MAIN MASTERLIST

Thank you for visiting @hoeforinarizaki!

[scourgefrontiers]

im going insane so im going to tell you about it and by that i mean make a post to scream into the void about my troubles

this will be a rambly, stream of consciousness post so watch out. unmedicated adhd brain shenanigans are afoot

i feel like i need to draw for myself more. i try to very often, i do, but i still feel like im caught in the whole “if i dont draw for attention then whats the point” hellhole that ive been trying to get out of for years. but i feel like the reason for this is that i literally Need the attention to up my chances for commissioners??? because thats how i make a living rn???  like i literally rely on commissions as my main source of income and that pays for shit like rent and medication and appointments and food :( i barely buy shit for myself anymore b/c im putting it all towards needs and not wants

also im worried my merch wont pop off as well as it did when i first released the submas merch. i know those were in high demand, but im afraid the demand will go to single digit sales for them as well as everything else i sell.  im honestly thinking about just buying very small stock, maybe 10 of each item at most, and opening the orders that way (after i ship things out of course).  speaking of shipping my last shipment STILL hasnt come in and im a little frustrated b/c im like. bruh i need to ship out these preorders. im not gonna do preorders in the future i dont think, im waiting way too long for this stock to come in :( i dont want yall to wait forever for like..a keychain

ive been trying to work here and there on both villain + school and facets (facets is completely written and scripted, v+s just recently got solidified as an outline Finally) but i kinda only had energy to do so for One Day so im not sure when those’ll be out lmfao. sorry bout that

i want to make more ocs, i havent made new ocs in a hot minute and im like :( wah. my character design brain is kaput right now.  i wanna make more cool db ocs and such like i used to. it used to bring me so much joy.  or maybe even inazuma eleven ocs idk im just wanting New Boys

i have so much to do or at least so much i could be doing. like i could make new merch art but that feels pointless if i dont have the money to buy the merch. i still need to ship out my FIRST orders, christ.  and im trying so hard to get commissions rolling so i CAN ship out my shit but :( its a struggle. im struggling. god im stressed to hell and back hi

sometimes i do be like i wanna die !  but i wont.  i’ll be ok things will be ok.  i will get commissions its only the 6th.  i have time. and im going to check out some cons that i can maybe table at in the future. thatd be wonderful. fuck i need to reprint my business cards with my updated twitter im a little mad i ended up getting my account unsuspended right after i made those cards. at least i only made 50 of them i guess

i need like an online journal or something to write this shit into instead of like, a public tumblr post LMFAO. but i cant use washi tape online so there goes that /hj

i really really need to figure out a way to let the general furry population know that i will draw their stuff for commissions. like. i Will. i Have. i Can.  just give me a chance bro i’ll draw your inflation fetish art just give me a chance to make some money to live LOL.  i would draw more furry art but i am so unmotivated and sluggish its so hard..

i kinda feel like i should try to get back into adoptables too but ive been so depressed and down and unmotivated its really really hard for me to design things for myself let alone to sell. so im like ok now what i have no income. im too brain fucky to get a “real job” so im just like. sits here on my ass doing absolutely nothing except being sad.  ok so i might have depression

anyway life is hard thanks for putting up with me

[cata-linaa]

hello hello!! my “haikyuu facts” post got WAY more notes than i expected since i wrote it in the parking lot of a wendy’s , and thank you so much! Anyway, I think Oikawa slander is my favorite thing (the jokes just write themselves, it’s so easy i dont even know how to beat around the bush about it it’s RIGHT THERE-) but yes, I do know he’s a complex character this is just for funsies ok  I try to be nice when writing him I promise. This is my first actual written out thing, so bear with me :)

Characters: Oikawa w a dash of Seijoh

Pairing: Milkbread and you 

Word Count: Enough

Grammar: All over the place, no editing, just shit out some content, the more I look at it the more i cringe so I might come back to edit it in the future. 

Tooru Oikawa is completely and hopelessly tone deaf. 

i just KNOW this mf cannot sing

you stans give him a little too much credit sometimes, seijoh is NOT a boy band

but he does all the time anyway

the funniest thing, though, was that iwa actually let him think he was good up until about his first year of high school

it’s not that he thought it was funny, that would be mean.... (but seriously, it’s just that he would say something about his voice being shitty, and he would just refute with the notion that “you’re just jealous of me hehe” so he let it go because he was sick of having the same argument every day)

and oikawa’s family was just like “oh 😬... uh, good job honey...” because he’s a kid what are you gonna say LMAO-

however, several years later when he decided to serenade the team on the bus ride to a tournament, makki and mattsun changed that opinion real quick

man couldn’t BREATHE that whole week without someone laughing about it and doing an impression of the voice cracks galore that occurred 

his voice is very nasally and off key, super loud and yikes 

very theatre kid who never got told he wasn’t the broadway-bound baby he thought he was and was in fact, just over-annunciating and screlting (if you don’t know what this means i am so jealous of you)

he’s so annoying and i hate him/hj

but you don’t seem to mind, do you?

You squinted as the sun peeked through the blinds as you woke up, tangling yourself further in several blankets after shivering from the AC unit going at full blast from across the room. Wait. I turn off the air conditioning at night, and these aren’t my blankets! And this is definitely NOT my hoodie! Glancing down at the fluffy white duvet, that was not the one you had at home. And you definitely did not play Argentinian volleyball, much less buy official team merchandise. Looking around further, you realized where you were. 

You had spent the night over your new boyfriend Tooru’s house for the first time, since the movie you guys had watched ended too late, and you had missed the last train home. Tooru had started another one, but all you remember is the opening credits. Guess I fell asleep? You thought, but where is Tooru now? 

“AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHIIIIEIEEIEIIIIIIIIIIIIIII” You got up with a start. What was that? Tooru? It didn’t sound good. Hopefully, he wasn’t hurt. His knee had been bothering him lately, and he did have a big game coming up. Throwing off the blankets, you ran to the source of the horrible scream. Panting, you scrambled to open the door and got to the kitchen. 

Tooru had his earbuds in, and he was frying eggs on the stovetop, no injury in sight. You look around concerned, wondering why he would make such a sound and then, it clicked when he opened his mouth once more.

This fucking idiot. 

“AAND I’LL ALWAYSZZZSS LOVE-” He took a deep inhale, but you yank the headphones out before he could even try to hit that note.

“Oh hey! Look who’s awake-” He tried to reach down to boop your nose, but you were not having it this morning. 

“Tooru! I thought you were hurt! This is your SINGING?!” You had never heard him sing before, but now that you have, you kind of didn’t want to anymore. He scoffed.

“I happen to be a very good singer, thank you.” You rolled your eyes at your ridiculous boyfriend. He’s certainly a lot, but you guessed breakfast could make up for it. He unplugged his earbuds and cranked the volume up on his phone. 

“You know the words, Prince(ss)*, sing with me!” 

“No.”

“You know you want to, here.” He reached out for your hand, with Whitney playing in the background. You laughed and took it, and his heart melted a little. This was so, so dumb, but what the hell.

 It was an awkward kind of swaying, as the song was slow but also so passionately singable. Simultaneously to the half-dance, half karaoke Tooru was putting his hand to his heart and just letting out those notes, however off-key he was, the attempt was there. With each passionate screlt, he pulled you towards him, as you were also holding the hands he was wildly pointing and gesturing around. Soon, the worried and disgruntled look disappeared from your face and was replaced with a smile, and maybe you sang along too. 

The rest of your morning was spent with sleepy giggles and loud singing, and he did burn those eggs, but he took you out to get something to make it up, singing the whole way to the coffee shop, ignoring the odd looks from strangers, because he did have tomorrow to wake you up to breakfast and a song, if you were willing to stay.

Needless to say, you heard a lot more of that awful for years to come, and honestly? you wouldn’t trade it for the smoothest and most beautiful of voices, because it was his, and he was yours. 

*pet names like “princess” or “bubs” or whatever make me physically recoil and want to throw up and  i apologize for using it because it made me cringe and it might make you cringe too, but i just know he would call his s/o some bullshit corny ass name like that. 

i really hope i got that characterization right, anyways, i’ll hopefully improve with more practice, and as of Jan 2021, requests are OPEN!

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

no dearest, dont worry, ive been super busy with exams and auditions so i couldnt reply to this, super sorry ;n; but im here now so here we go!

mmm same, tasteful smut is preferable, tho rare. oh no! pls dont feel pressured to follow me on anything, i post very sporadically on that acc so you probably wont see much yet haha

hehe sometimes it just be like that. mmm real life isnt happy, so it makes sense that angst is more realistic, plus people are shitty /hj so its easier to have smth to base the characters and action off. but if angst is what you feel comfortable with, im glad you found it and you can write it so well!

yes i totally agree! they just suck you in, there is no escape. mmm indeed. i guess i just (and im sure you feel the same way) wish that they would be able to stick to what they are good at, and what they enjoy, rather than what will make them the most money and recognition

hehe i dont mind! im here if you wanna rant abt the amazingness that is he, i know the feeling of almost bursting from having to talk abt smth and not being able to :) yesss hes just so comfortable and familar even tho obviously we dont and can never truly know him. hes just like a good good friend. (albeit one whos abs we rave abt). :( ohh im sorry you were in a bad place, but its good that you were able to find something to help, im sure channie would be very happy to know he helped someone :) hehe i find myself listening for him in all their tracks, its a bit like felix in that its quite distinctive and very satisfying haha. YES seonghwa is just *wordless mouthing of amazement* mmm, its going to be super hard for them to top that, fever and drunk dazed were *chefs kiss* but hopefully theyll be better soon, ive been so worried abt all of them, with the whole covid thingo, especially nikki, hes only 15 and hes rlly sick away from his parents and his home :(( poor thing. man sunoo's immune system of absolute titanium, hopefully the rest of the boys are feeling better :(

yes i KNOW right. :((( huh i guess its strange cos i cant wait to get out of high school and ur wishing you could go back :') ahh that must be strange

oooh cool! ahuh yes, im sensing a type lol. ooh fellow jake, hyuka and lisa bias! for me, nikki and jennie are bias wreckers and im not super into txt but yES i agree, he always looks impeccable. i see what you mean with jake! hes got this kinda awkward charm from what little ive seen of him. mmm well... as a chan, seonghwa and namjoon bias, i can sympathise with having a definite postion type

no darling! they wouldnt be wasted at ALL. yes, you must tell me if you are ever going to leave here :((

but on brighter topics, i finished all my midterms and had my first therapy session this week so thats good! how are you feeling today? anything else you want to discuss? hope you're doing well :)

<3 w.a. 🐺

yoooo i was starting to worry about where you were but i remembered that you talked about exams. it's alright! take your time. also auditions o.O good luck with that!!

oh don't half joke people are shitty. they really are. funny how we talk about how we're talking about how angst is my element but i just finished writing a fluffy chan fic.

yeah :( i also hope that the money making thing wouldn't be their top priority but it's still a business industry so i get why the marketing is done that way.

i rambled to an irl about chan today so idt my head would explode from keeping chan chitchat in. chan is as safe space as an idol can get for me. i want to thank him for quite literally saving me in 2020 someday. it's the first thing i'll mention if i get to have a fancall with him.

i'm currently waiting for ateez comeback! i'm hoping deja vu won't disappoint bc the song isn't bad at all o.O it takes me back to my 2nd gen roots even. abt enhypen i heard 2 are back and posting? idt they got the worst of the symptoms + they're young and i'm sure their immune systems aren't too weak.

LMAO. it's because high school was a lot easier than uni so if i were to choose from the two evils, i'd choose the lesser one.

abt my biases? really? o.O bc i've always been told that i don't have a clear bias HAJHA. i'm glad we have a few similar biases <33 the definite position type HAJH you and my friends have the same thing going on. she's all for rappers tho.

i'll tell you if i ever choose to leave. i doubt it would be any time soon xd

congratulations on finishing all your midterms and i'm glad you got to go to your therapy session. how was it? i hope you're doing well. go and take care of yourself! reward yourself a little for finishing the exams :>

my feet and legs are sore as fuck. i've been dancing the whole day and i haven't been exercising a lot so a day full of just moving around kinda shocked me. i'll be sleeping in a few though so i hope i feel better in the morning.

[seoschangbin]

please rachel is cute!!!😭💕💞congrats on your freedom!!! i saw your text post about having to do some peer grading🥺it sounds tedious): and then people not doing it properly, gosh😤i hope you can get through them quickly n still have time to relax!💕but i’m glad next semester is gonna be full of fun classes, it’s what you deserve!!! i just know it’ll be one of your best semesters yet😌💕and graduating in april!!! omg :0 congrats!!! that’s such a huge accomplishment hehe. -🎁💫

mndjdj UR cute!! tho waking up at 2am to get to the airport aint it 😬✈️ hehe i finished the peergrade it went better than i thought im so dramatic nd mean 😭 (jk i was v nice imo) ur so sweet i dont deserve u 😭i hope 2020 is good for us both and we both have a good winter semester ❤️ (not sure yours is even called winter) scared for grad but also wouldnt be able to do another semester ahah 😥

do you plan on going to higher education or are ya just gonna chill for a bit?😌that’s true!!! almost halfway! and i’m done with my gen ed classes so now i just gotta focus on my major!!! i don’t really like the uni life so this extra year sounds like hell to me😭but i guess i should start trying to put myself out there more n make the best of my last years😭😔man😭well you tried your best rachel!!! n that’s all that matters😌💕-🎁💫

i applied for grad school! but we'll see how that goes 😣 ooh gen ed is the worst imo bc then u get the fun specialized stuff! 😊 oh noo why dont you like uni? 😔 but i hope you find smth to enjoy in the last years, thats when i started to really enjoy it anyways! 🥰

LITERALLY😭😭felix is just the softest n he’s so utterly sweet!!! he’s been making me go through it lately especially since he keeps on being the ultimate cutie and posting stuff of him being at the dog cafe🥺🤲🏼skz variety😚i saw that video where we get to see chan’s studio n he’s with bin n ji and gosh the tiny teasers we got other songs... omg😳💕i’ve been having levantar on repeat as well, i think she’s gonna dethrone i am who for me😳yeah i dance but i’m not good!!!-🎁💫

omg i KNOW rly goin thru it w felix lately 😭 the dog cafe bls mjsjjdd hes so cute 😭 omg i KNOW!! the seungbin duet bls.. for me.. release it 😭 all the songs sound so so lovely im excited for their future 🙇🏻‍♀️ omg levanter.. shes that gal taking over the world! aww its ok hehe if u have fun then thats all that matters ☺️ how did u get into it?

i used to dance when i was younger but i went through a i’m shy phase n gave it up🚶🏻‍♀️recently i’ve been trying to get back into tho!!! my only source of lessons atm is felix’s dance to😚honestly that’s so valid bc skz titles are always so so so good n leave you with vastly different feelings🥺🤲🏼who knows😭😭😭chan does n says the weirdest stuff sometimes but it’s okay he’s still a cutie🥺right!!! i’m really glad they got a win! they're accomplishing so much n i am so!!! proud😭💞-🎁💫

omg felix nd his dance lessons hes so awkward but endearing bro  is there any dances ur looking forward to learning or currently learning?  i agree skz kings of versatility! i know!! they did so much this yr good job skz ️

i wonder if they’re gonna do more stages n if there’s possible for them to get more wins... i think they’re done right? just fansigns left? hmmm. changbin always gotta play hard to get i guess😤and omg yeah i guess so!!! bc i’ve realized that i listen to mostly jype artists :0 sometimes jype is ya kno... Yeah but i can’t deny that i love most of their groups🏃🏻‍♀️-🎁💫

i think they r done! but im honestly so hazy on their schedule i just take what im given LOL 😭 i love looking at fantakens from their fansigns though i hope they have more! mjdjf mood about jype... but their groups.. pure nd good! not rly relates but did u ticket this past week for skz hehe?

i’d like to file a complaint… 😭😭😭hyunjin is just so powerful, i always think how lucky jinnie stans are bc he just loooooves spoiling stays😚💓ooo i’ve heard of victon but i’ve never watched their variety! there’s so many groups i want to eventually listen n learn about tho and victon is one of em!!! i watched a few eps of that mx variety where they’re with PUPPIES😭i still need to finish it but so far… jooheon can get it and by get it i mean n my heart😞🤲🏼-🎁💫

omg i KNOW hj be like bf vibes always spoiling... omg victon is the CUTEST and theyre always on vlive itll be my mission to get you into them! 😉 omg i havent seen the whole puppy one yet but theyre so pure nd cute! i also recommend mx ray hehe! and hes jooheon must be protected hes the sweetest bab!

oh my goodness please i’ve seen clips of that moment!!!! changbin looks ULTRA teeny tiny i couldn’t believe!!!! so much cuteness in such a tiny body😭💞right!!! i love their friendship so much i just love how attentive they are with each other n how they always play around too hehe, its adorable!!! i will never get over felix whipping out that damn egg, king of comedic timing!!! yes!!! chan n changbin!!💕chan is a mega libra n as a fellow libra i couldnt resist! n changbin is changbin🥺-🎁💫

hes the teeniest i always go back to him on the zipline hes my babyyy 😔❤️ he looks scary but hes. baby.. his muscles r made of love.. mjsjd i KNOW feliz out of nowhere: 🥚 cute.. changbin n chan r a good bias pair! just the sweetest

being a changbin stans can never catch a break bc binnie's whole existence is just utter cuteness most times i can’t handle it, i blame his mega leo energy😭i’m into mostly nintendo n indie games! also its super cheesy but i love chill games like farming games or animal crossing! you too rachel! get plenty of rest n omg i hope you enjoy your vacation!!! being at the beach is the best🥰💞gotta apply buckets of sunscreen then!!! i burn so easily too so i feel your pain😔-🎁💫

omg i KNOW bin is just the epitome of cuteness i never thought id ever stan the aegyo boy 😭 ooh! do u have a fav game? and i hear animal crossing is super fun nd i love chill games so not cheesy at all!! im sure when im back the first thing ill say is damn.. never seen my skin peel like That ⚠️

and no worries!!! please take your time n enjoy your vacation😚💞but goodness you’re so sweet! i’m glad i was able to finish the thing i made for You hehe, i’m excited for you to see!!!🥰💞its been lots of fun chatting!!! even tho i feel so bad for rambling on n on at times😭but i hope this week treats you well rachel n you have the loveliest n bestest holiday!!! -🎁💫

i decided not to bring my laptop this time so i wont be able to finish what i had in mind until january i hope u dont mind! but omg stoP u made me smth 😭 ive enjoyed talking to u sm too thank u for being the sweetest 🥰 i hope u enjoy the week as well and take lots of time to rest!

[mybabbbbee]

The firsts

First meetup: 7th July 2019. I was pissed off already abt alot of things and didnt at all wanna marry a doctor. Our conversation was very casual. I was the one who talked for the most part.

First time we sat together on one couch: 21st July 19 when it was our baat pakki ki rasm. I tried my best not to touch him.

First time i met him in niqab/on duty: 31st Aug 19 i was in my gynae OT and telling a friend abt how he is in anesthesia nowadays and yikes! There i saw him. He was soo focused on work. So i had to approach him and have a confused conversation. Later worry for 2 days doubting if he liked me or nah.

First gift: 11th Aug 19, we went to their place a day before Eid ul Azha. He had brought gucci perfume for me from Dubai. Mom also gifted him some clothes and a perfume.

First time i heard him play guitar: 11th Aug 19 everyone insisted him to do so. He played alot of songs out of which i knew some. GOT theme song, ab tou aadat si he, bachana were my fav.

First time he held my hand: 24th Aug 19 on our engagement when he held my hand to put the ring on. Lasted for barely 10 seconds and my hands were cold af.

First time he served me food: that too on our engagement. Served me rice.

First time he texted me on my number: 26th Aug 19 i asked aunty for more pictures and he texted me the link. And also asked me to thank ma pa for the watch. Also he made a laughing emoji at the end and i wanted to ask him does he laugh too 😯

First time i added him on snapchat: 28th Aug 19 cuz i was worried he isnt texting me. So he viewed all my stories hehe. And also posted his two days later. He has a score of 65 and i have 44k 🙄

First time i fantasized about him: 4th Sept 19 i was depresses bcs of messed up clg routine so i worked out and took a shower at midnight and afterwards just laid down naked in bed. And then i started thinking abt him and well that was my first orgasm right there.

First time we had a proper conversation: 5th Sept he was sick so i texted to wish him speedy recovery. Dont know if he was in a good mood or if he is always like this. We were talking abt our engagement and he said "tbh there was a lot to compliment" and afterwards he sent me a picture of us and said he liked it. He also asked me to meet him at clg. Not bad right? Couldnt stop smiling the whole time tho.

First time we added each other on facebook: 6th Sept. I set a condition that he'd put an engaged status. I thought he wouldnt but he did. He asked me to do the same too.

First time he made a heart in our conversation: 6th Sept when he called me Ms. SuperSweet. I havent made one yet.

First time he told me he gets horny thinking about me: 8th Sept the day we met and later that night he told me how crazy i make him go. And that he dreamt that we had a little pillow fight and ended up kissing. Gosh its getting hot in here. Also he started making kiss emoji. I havent yet 🤷‍♀️

First call: 15th Sept he was very worried if he'll be able to talk properly or not. It went well. Loved how he laughed.

First sexting: 15th Sept after the call he was soo in the mood so couldnt say no. Felt hot aff. Also had an orgasm.

First time he said 'i love you' on call: 21st Sept when i called him to say goodmorning and he was so caught off guard. And happy. It was a two minute call and i didnt realize he said it untill we dropped it. He said it again later that night.

First time he tagged me in a meme: 21st Sept. It was about money heist.

First time he called from work: 25th Sept. He had to call the night before but he was too tired he fell asleep..i was a lil pissed off so subah he called me from OT, there was some strike going on so he was free..and we talked for like 10 mins. I loved his voice.

First time i heard him having hiccups: 28 Sept we were on call he had a sore throat and then he started having them i made him drink water and distracted him and it worked. We talked for almost three hours.

First time we exchanged some naughty snaps: 1st Oct we were sexting on sc for the first time and i knew i couldnt control myself so i sent him some snaps of me with low neck where he could see my curves. He sent one out of shower too.

First time he snapped me his boner: 5th Oct we got rlly wild, he had two orgasms at night and then i woke him up with a nice bj and he cummed twice again.

First date: 9th oct it was a formal date awkward in the start but turned out to be great. He got me flowers and held the door for me and pulled the chair out, not in the start though but lol it was cute. We talked abt silly things and some serious ones. About making vows to each other. We laughed like mad and took some pictures. He got me gajras in the end and helped me wear them and then he held my hand and we kept it like that till the end. He teased me a lil and gosh it gave me butterflies for a moment. He makes me feel like im perfect, flawless.

First time we held hands: 9th Oct he got me gajras on out way back..then he helped me wear them and held my hand all the way back home..he tease my hand a little and made me crazy. So crazy.

First time we tried call sex: 12th Oct..not entirely though. We just stayed on call and heard each other moan..i felt more closer to him and God it was hot.

First time i wore black with him: 16th Oct it was our second date. He loved the attire, complimented me the whole time.

First song we listened to together: 16th Oct when he was driving me back he played laiyan laiyan and we both were totally in the feels. He said he might play it on our wedding.

First time we made a streak: 16th Oct we decided it on our date

First kiss: 24th Oct we were in car and just madeout for like 10 mins..it was good. Got me wet. Wanted to make his bday special.

First love note: 24th Oct gave him a funny bday card and a note along with it. I hope he likes it.

First birthday celebration: 26th Oct one day after his bday we had a fam dinner after which we cut the cake and i gave him shirts and a perfume.

First time i sat on his lap: 29th Oct he picked me up from a friends place and we were in the backseat making out..i humped against him the whole time.

First time somebody walked in on us: 29th Oct while making out a guard approached us but kher we ran away just in time. He was so concerned id be worried.

First movie we watched together: 30th Oct joker.

First time he felt my boobs from inside my shirt: 30th Oct on our last date before he went to rwp. I felt his cock up too.

First time he gave me a letter: 30th Oct. It was the best day.

First video call: Nov 11. During his 48hr long urology call.

First tcs: 7 Dec. He got his first pay so sent gifts for me.

First time we went shopping: 26 Dec. Got a gift for Abdullah's engagement. And for mama's bday. We both are so easy. Non picky.

First time i made him cum with hj: 26 Dec. He got sooo hot afterwards. He fingered me too.

First event we attended as a couple: 28th Dec. Abdullah's engagement. Although he wasnt there for the most part but i loved how everyone related me to him.

First time he fed me food: 24th Jan 2020 on our nikkah when i wasnt eating and saying i wont unless he makes me..so he did infront of everyone.

First time he gave me a shoulder massage: 24th Jan on our night date hehe

First long drive: 27th Jan had to go to my to be ghar met ammi had a sitting with my mua had lunch then and went back

First halal kissing: felt soooo goood with no guilt. Damnnn i love to kiss him so much. So much sawab loool

First hickey: 27th Jan he got a little hard on me when he was close to his orgasm..and i totally loved it

First time he sucked my nipples: 27th jan 🙈

First grocery shopping: 27th Jan he bought me stuff for my new washroom 😁

First rain date: 27th jan it rained the whole day ❤

First night together: 1st feb after my rukhsati. It was the most magical night and his touch felt soo goood. Sleeping naked with each other and teasing was such a turn on.

First time he served me food: 24th jan on our nikkah hen we were on stage and i couldnt eat bcs of my nails and then he made me.

First time i felt protected with him: 1st feb while our valima shoot was going on and the sun was getting on my face so he stood between me and the sun to put me in shade.

First night at my parents: 2nd feb after our valima. We opened our gifts played ludo and had aloot of fun in bed. Also went to fun city in my desi newly wed clothes.

First meal post-sex: 1st feb he made me a whole plate of biryani at 4am.

First time we ordered food in bed: 4th feb. The burgers were yummm

First time he did my hair: 5th feb while i was getting ready to go downstairs. He just loves side parting.

First time i cried infront of him: 6th feb i just missed my homies so much so i turned away and pretended to sleep and he found out i was crying and became mama bear. It was so good to be in his arms i wont choose another place to be at ever. Then i read their letters while he caressed me all this while.

First time we had real sex: 7th feb just a day before umrah. He was kind of worried he wasnt getting hard enough to go inside so he got some pills and then we did. It was painful for me but i just wanted to get over with this and it was a happy feeling to know we’re finally not virgins.

First oral: 1st feb on our wedding night. Probably the last too

First orgasm: 2nd feb and the following week was full of it

First umra together: 8th feb it was the best time together. How we did tawwaf and saee and made each other recite duas, prayed together, taught him how to bargain,ate alot of yumm food.

First time he made me watch ertugrul: 12th feb

First time he got me jellies: 13th feb while we were going for madinah ziyarat.

First stay away from home: 1st march i went to rwp where he was doing his hj. Got an army mess arranged for me. Stay was great.

First monal date: 3rd march weather was awesome altho he was a little pissed off at me asking to take pictures again and again.

First fight: 3rd march later that night he wanted to have sex but i wasnt wet enough and he started blaming me and saying ive turned him off. It made me cry and confront him abt his behaviour earlier too. He kinda took it seriously and kept saying sorry the whole time and also said “this is the first and the last time i made u cry”. We stayed up till late sharing our thoughts talking abt our future.

First friends hangout: 4th feb his room mate invited us for dinner. Pizza was good everything was until they started talking abt the ex idk why i felt bad. Didnt talk the whole way back.

First bday together: 20th march he gave me a surprise by coming straight from his call for a day.