#this whole movie is so.... chain-smoking-in-utter-shock bad

[freuleinanna]

KEEP OUR WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!!! (c) Dracula Daily people, probably

[your-iron-lung]

Mixed Up 16 | Take It Easy (Love Nothing)

Chapter Word Count: 3711

Pairings: Zoro/Sanji

Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance

Chapter Warning: Strong Language

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15

Next Chapter: 17

"So, how was the show? Did you enjoy it?"

Seated opposite of one another at a small window-side table, Nami smiled encouragingly at Sanji. He returned the smile and hoped it didn't look as forced as he felt it was.

At Nami's insistence, they'd gone to a small, locally owned café that Sanji was relatively familiar with. Originally, he'd wanted to take her somewhere a bit more upscale and popular; a place where he could vouch for the quality of the food they served, but she had refused and expressed an unwillingness to support any sort of non-local chain establishment.

And while Sanji knew the owner of the Mermaid Café, he didn't know much about the menu or what they served. Nami had seemed delighted, though, when he'd brought her there after picking her up from the downtown area's community parking lot.

"It was interesting, to say the least," he said, passing their waitress a charming smile as she dropped off their drinks. He drew his coffee closer towards him as Nami went to take a sip of her tea. He traced a finger around the saucer dish of his cup absentmindedly before reaching for a sugar packet nestled in a ceramic container in the middle of the table.

As he opened it and began to pour it into his coffee, Nami set her cup down and offered him another smile.

"Oh yeah?"

There was something wrong about this, Sanji thought. Something had happened to him the other day that he hadn't been able to figure out, but had affected him so greatly that he could no longer find the energy to flirt as effectively as he knew Nami deserved. He still found her to be irresistible and absolutely darling in every aspect, but something was blocking his will to express his adoration to her.

He felt awkward, stiff, and found, ultimately, that he didn't really want to be there with her. In the back of his mind, there was another person he found he wanted to be spending his time with.

"How was it putting up with Zoro that whole time? I bet that was rough, huh?"

Sanji's heart palpitated at the mention of his name and he had to advert his eyes as soon as she'd spoken it.

"It wasn't that bad, actually," Sanji replied, swallowing the feeling down with a quick drink of coffee. "The worst part was not being able to smoke throughout the whole thing."

Nami nodded solemnly and held her cup between her hands, sipping at her drink whilst pretending that the awkwardness between them wasn't there. She didn't want to try and force the conversation if he didn't want to participate in it, but she would've been lying if she'd said she was having a nice time.

"Zoro told me you met Robin," she said, trying to give the conversation some kindling to work off of. "How'd that go?"

As she spoke, she saw again the same reaction breach Sanji's face that he'd expressed before at the mention of Zoro's name. It was a sour look accompanied with a deep frown that left him looking incredibly uncomfortable.

Sighing, he nodded almost reluctantly.

"He warned me about her," he said melodramatically, slouching over the table. "I had every intention of avoiding her, but, alas, her beauty sought me out."

As he spoke, he reached a hand into his coat pocket that was draped across the back of his chair, intending on taking out his cigarettes, and paused.

"Do you mind if I do?" he asked, glancing at Nami before he withdrew his pack.

"Nope! Go ahead," she said pleasantly, amused by the start of his story.

He smiled thankfully and pulled out his pack, taking out a single cigarette and pulling the ashtray closer towards himself.

With his cigarette lit, Sanji drew in a deep, smoky breath and instantly felt a bit better. A new energy entered him that he had been lacking previously, and he wasted no time in directing it towards his date.

"In fact," he began, easily settling into the charming personality he'd spent a great many years nurturing. "I dare think she had a bit of a thing for me."

"Is that so?" Nami said, giving him a catty grin. "What makes you say that?"

"Well, for one, it was she who sought me out to begin with! What woman alive is immune to my charm?" At this, he winked at Nami and blew her a kiss, to which she responded with a roll of her eye.

"And, well, beyond that, if she didn't fancy me, then why would she have gone through the trouble of bailing us out?"

Nami shrugged, entertaining Sanji's long-winded thoughts on the matter. She knew everything about what had happened that night already, having pestered Zoro about it as soon as he let her know he was home. To be honest, she was just relieved Sanji seemed to have dug his way out of whatever slump he'd gotten himself into.

"She must have fallen in love with me at first sight," Sanj continued, smiling serenely to himself. "I can find no other explanation for her actions."

"Obviously," Nami said, taking a drink of her tea. They fell into a relaxed silence as they waited on their food, listening absentmindedly to the conversations happening around them.

It was just about to become a nice lunch outing for Nami when she felt her phone buzz against her leg. She debated on whether or not she should check it now or later, but as she looked at Sanji, still lost in his fantasy, she decided she would.

Leaning to the side a bit for leverage, she managed to weasel her phone from out of her pocket to see that she had received an email from Zoro. Here she hesitated, unsure if she wanted to see whatever it was he had to say about her date. Curiosity getting the better of her, though, she opened it.

Sender: wildslutangel22

Subject: guess what I got

Message: hows the date with the asshole. look what I got

Frowning, she noticed that there was a picture attached. She hadn't even known Zoro knew how to attach an image to an email, seeing as how he was so technologically inept. Across the table, drinking his coffee languidly, Sanji watched her expression as she opened the attachment and saw her face turn from shock to utter outrage in a matter of seconds.

"Oh my fucking God! I can't believe he did that!" she exclaimed angrily, fury boiling in her eyes as she slammed the phone down onto the table.

"What? Who?" Sanji said, startled and a little bit frightened by her sudden mood swing. Nearby patrons of the Mermaid Café had turned to look at what had disrupted their peaceful meals, making him nervous. "What happened, my sweet?"

"Zoro! That fucking prick!" Fuming, she shoved her cellphone across the table to Sanji, who gingerly picked it up to inspect the picture displayed on the screen.

The picture was a little blurry and there was part of a finger in the image, but Zoro was the clear focus. He was sticking his gross tongue out and holding out what looked to be a movie or concert ticket. He didn't understand what the big deal was, unless he was holding something Nami had wanted and was unable to obtain herself.

"Um," he began, unsure of what the appropriate response to this situation should be. "Yikes."

"He bought his own ticket to the Tralalaw show so he wouldn't have to pay me back," Nami pouted, sighing as she took her phone back when Sanji offered it to her. "To be fair, I was going to make him pay me double back for it, but still! Now I have an extra ticket, and he knows I hate dealing with scalpers."

Sanji didn't know what a Tralalaw was, nor did he know whose side he should be on regarding the issue, but the look on Nami's disheartened face told him he should at least try to make amends.

"I'll buy it off you, if you'd let me," he offered, despite not knowing anything about what it entailed. "It hurts me deeply to see how unfairly he treats you."

He reached out to touch the back of her hand in support and was taken aback by the sudden mirthful look of glee that shot across Nami's face.

"Oh my God. Oh my God, yes, that's perfect! Of course you can, Sanji! In fact, I insist."

With that, she took her hand away from under his and turned to grab her purse. He watched her root through it excitedly before she produced an envelope. The manic look in her eye frightened him to some degree.

"This is for you," she said, opening the unsealed envelope and taking out a ticket. As he took it from her and read the front, he ascertained that it must have been Zoro's ticket for whatever the hell the Tralalaws were.

Sanji took in a deep a breath to prepare to give a speech of thanks when Nami cut him short.

"Save your thanks, just- do me this one favor real quick; take a selfie with me?"

Baffled, he found he could only nod, inciting an evil grin from her as she got up from her chair, grabbing her phone and coming to stand by Sanji.

"This is going to be so good," Nami rambled excitedly, opening the camera on her phone and wrapping her arm around Sanji's shoulders, forcing them to become very close together. "Hold that ticket up, and, ready?"

Too fixated on being pressed so close to Nami's body, Sanji didn't even get a chance to see how the picture had turned out before Nami had returned to her seat. When he realized her chest was no longer pressed against the side of his face, he returned to his senses and peered at the ticket still in his hand while she began giggling menacingly, rapidly typing out an email response to Zoro.

Subject: RE: guess what I got

Message Body: Wow! I'm impressed; what'd you even use to take that picture with? That's crazy. But hey, no skin off my back, I've already got someone lined up for your ticket.

Attaching the picture she'd just taken with Sanji to the message, she hit send and could almost hear Zoro's outrage from where he sat, miles away at the work computer, smug feelings of having one-upped her transforming into abrupt horror.

"Fuck!" He shouted at the screen, face paling as he stared at the picture Nami had just sent him. "She can't do that!"

Customers of Super-Star! Guitars had long since grown accustomed to Zoro's crude outbursts, but the newer ones feigned offense when they heard his unfiltered tongue. He ignored them as he studied the picture, twisting his lips in annoyance at the idiotic expression on Sanji's ridiculous face.

"That witch!"

"Who can't do what, Zoro?"

Recognizing Tony's voice, he tore his eyes away from the screen and reluctantly stood up, gazing down over the counter to find Tony standing there, waiting for him.

"Nothing, don't worry about it," Zoro grumbled angrily, rubbing at his forehead that had begun to ache. Coming around the desk, he looked up and around alertly. "Where's your grandma?"

"Trying to find parking," Tony said pleasantly, hefting up his guitar case.

"Alright, quick, let's go to the back before she does."

Together, subtly trying to hurry, they made their way into the lesson room they used. Tony fell into their routine easily, unpacking his guitar and plugging it into the nearby floor amp. Zoro still looked pissed, despite his assurances to Tony that he wasn't, and took a while to find his groove.

How was it that Sanji kept finding ways to interfere with his life? If Zoro had known that giving a ride to him a week ago would have resulted in all this meddling, he wouldn't have done it. He could handle taking him to the art show (at Nami's absolute insistence); didn't even mind getting high with him, but, guitar lessons? The Tralalaw show? Sanji was getting far too involved in the aspects of Zoro's life that actually meant something to him.

There was nothing for it now, however, and Zoro knew he'd have to come to terms with that. If Sanji kept finding ways to get mixed up in his life then he'd either have to learn to adjust or cut the idiot out completely, no matter how attached Nami got to him. Caught up in his thoughts, Zoro almost ignored Tony when he spoke.

"Um, Zoro, about the Solstice show…"

"What, not having second thoughts again, are you?" Zoro mumbled, coming out of his thoughts. The downtrodden expression on Tony's face betrayed that he was. "Aw, c'mon Tony, how many times do I have to go over this with you? I've told you plenty of times that you are good enough to perform-"

"No, it's not like that this time! I just- just wanted to know if you'd sing the song while we play it!"

Zoro blanched at his request.

"No, absolutely not."

"But-!"

"No, Tony," Zoro said with a sigh, explaining his logic as patiently as he could. "It'd take way too much away from your playing. The recital is supposed to show off your talents, not mine."

"Yeah, I know, but, I was just thinking, the song's not really recognizable on its own, you know? With just the guitars? If you sang it, people might recognize it better!"

Tony looked so expectant and hopeful that Zoro felt a little bad turning him down.

"I can't, Tony-"

"What if I did a solo!" Tony suddenly blurt out, holding his guitar tightly in hand. "If- if I do a solo, will you sing for me then?!"

Zoro frowned; he'd been on Tony's case about improvising guitar solos for a while now. The kid was so shy though that he never would, despite having the skills to perform them. As much as he didn't want to agree to it, he found that this was a deal that he could get behind, if only because it would improve Tony's capabilities.

"I don't know, Tony," Zoro said slowly, mulling it over in his head. "It'd have to be 15 seconds long, at least."

"I can do that!" Tony said, though he appeared scared and unsure of himself.

"And you'll use chords?"

"Yeah!"

Zoro sighed again slowly before agreeing to Tony's request. He didn't want to do it; didn't really sing much anymore, though he figured his voice would be a good match for the song Tony had picked to play, even if it didn't really fit in with his usual genre.

"Alright, well, let's get to working on some structure then," he began, plucking out the tune to the song on the guitar in his hand, trying to remember the lyrics to The Prettiest Waitress in Memphis.

However, Tony, who had been looking positively jubilant a few moments ago, now appeared downcast again, prompting a comically bad chord from Zoro, who groaned and set his acoustic aside.

"Oh my God, Tony, what is it now?"

Fidgeting in his seat, Tony's face turned slightly red in embarrassment.

"W-well, it's just, I was thinking that…"

"That…?" Zoro prompted impatiently.

"That… that if you agreed to sing, then maybe you'd get Nami to play the drums for us, too! We'd have a full band!"

Zoro could hardly believe his ears. He stared long and hard at his pupil, taken aback by the demands he was being hit with.

"Are you serious? Tony, that is absolutely-"

"Absolutely a great idea!"

Standing in the doorway to their lessons room was Brook, looking jovial and positively enthused about the proposition at hand.

"What?" Tony and Zoro said in unison, both turning to stare at the tall anemic-looking man.

"How long have you been standing there?" Zoro asked suspiciously, squinting hard at him.

"Long enough to know that young Tony could gain some valuable insight on what it's like to play in a full band from this! Especially if he chooses to pursue a professional career in music! We would have to have you all play last, of course, so as not to outshine and deter our other performers, but it could work!"

Zoro had been about to retort and defend his stance on the matter, but when Brook explained his reasoning, he found that Tony's idea wasn't actually half bad. The kid didn't have much friends; all the ramblings from his grandmother told Zoro that much, so joining a band with his social presence would be hard for him to do under normal circumstances. This really could be a valuable learning experience for him.

"Alright, fine," he said finally, relenting. Tony actually jumped up from his chair to cheer, nearly throwing his guitar to the floor in the process. "But! The solo has to be 30 seconds."

Some of Tony's enthusiasm waned, but there was a strong look of determination on his face as he rose to the challenge.

"I can do it!" he exclaimed. "I think."

"Yes, that's the spirit," Brook said with a laugh. "Well, I'll leave you two to it then! Good luck, dear Tony, and practice hard!"

"Yes sir, I will!"

Brook gave a mock salute before he departed, walking with a light spring in his step and leaving Zoro alone to deal with the aftermath of his visit.

"How the hell does he always know when to come and fuck with with my shit?" Zoro wondered aloud, making Tony laugh before getting serious. "Alright though, for real, we've got a lot of practicing to do with only a week left to do it."

"Right!"

Zoro picked up his guitar and quickly went through a set of scales. He stared at Tony, who immediately hurried to do the same.

"So let's do it," Zoro announced as they launched into different scales.

As they resumed their practice in earnest, Nami and Sanji concluded their date. They'd both had light meals that left the bill small enough for Sanji to cover completely so that Nami only had to pay the tip, and as they stood on the sidewalk outside the café, he couldn't help but think that maybe his Saturday curse had somehow been lifted. The date had been nice.

He helped Nami into her coat before putting on his own, and together they walked towards where Nami had parked.

"You know, I'm actually glad you made this a lunch date instead of a dinner one," Nami said, making conversation as she took Sanji's arm. "I actually have a party to go to tonight that I'd totally forgotten about."

"A party, you say?" Sanji replied, hoping she was about to invite him to accompany her.

"Yeah, it's a fetish party, though; I don't think you'd be interested," she said, laughing at the look of disbelief that had appeared on Sanji's face. "Don't judge me! I'm only going because a friend of mine is performing, that's all!"

"I would cut off both my hands before I dare judge you, my darling," Sanji said in all seriousness. "I think it's wonderful of you to support your friends."

"Thanks."

A million images and imagined scenarios were manifesting themselves in Sanji's head about what Nami would be doing at a fetish party as they continued the rest of the short walk in silence. He missed the forlorn look on Nami's face as they stopped by her small, white pickup-truck and she separated herself from him, reaching into her purse for her keys to unlock the doors.

"I'm afraid this is goodbye, my sweet Nami."

Looking as pitiable and sad as he possibly could, he closed the door for her after she'd started the engine and taken the driver's seat. She looked sad as well, he thought, as she suddenly turned to him, biting her lip. He cocked his head as she rolled the window down and leaned out a little bit.

"Can I ask you something?" she questioned, speaking urgently.

"Of course," he replied, though he was a little wary about what she had to ask, her tone intimidating him.

A moment passed between them with neither of them saying anything before Nami finally spoke, abruptly asking, "Do you like Zoro?"

The warmth he'd felt during his lunch date was suddenly consumed and replaced by a chilled sort of dread he didn't want to focus on.

"What?" he asked, trying to force a slight chuckle but feeling his body lock up. "I mean, I guess I see him as a friend?"

"No, not like that. Do you like him?" she repeated, staring him dead in the eye.

The distant sounds of the downtown area disappeared as he both felt and heard his heartrate increasing, hating the way it felt. The idling engine of Nami's truck rumbled steadily on, even as Sanji's thoughts raced away from him.

"Where is this coming from?" he asked, ignoring the way his voice shook a little.

Nami broke eye contact and looked away guiltily.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I wasn't going to tell you this, but the fetish party thing I'm going to tonight is actually another date."

"What?" he asked, beyond confused. Of all the ways he'd pictured his date with Nami ending, this was not even remotely close to what he had imagined.

"I don't want to date you, Sanji. I'm sorry if I've led you on; I don't mean to be a bitch about it, but whatever you're feeling for him is getting to be a little obvious."

"What?"

"Just tell it to me straight, okay?" she said, turning back to him with a soft smile. "Do you like him?"

"I- I don't know." Stuttering slightly, he answered honestly, becoming distraught by the conversation and the line of questioning she was grilling him with. "I've only known him a week; is that even enough? What does any of this have to do with… anything?"

"Because, I can help you."

"Help me?" His eyebrows drew tightly together as he stared at her, unsure of what anything they had been saying meant.

"If you want it."

"With what?"

"With Zoro."