#this wasn't supposed to be this long

[mareastrorum]

if essek did it, why do you think he did? i'm at a loss as to how it would benefit him to give her a shiv. (hope my tone doesn't read hostile, i'm genuinely confused)

I haven't taken any of the asks as hostile, so no worries!

The short answer is that Essek would have benefited whether the Scourger succeeded in killing Caleb or not. Longer answer:

To begin with, let's set the stage. In episode 56, the Nein had handed over the beacon, and in 57, the Bright Queen awarded them with emblems that represented their status as heroes of the Dynasty. It was only after the Bright Queen elevated their status in front of the entire court that she assigned Essek (without asking first) to be their "steward" for the time being, including the responsibility of seeing as to their lodgings.

The Bright Queen is clever. She certainly considered that maybe this was a ploy from the Empire to insert spies into her midst, especially because only one of two beacons was returned. From her perspective, assigning her most trusted spymaster to keep an eye on these idiots is exactly what she should do. If they're plants, Essek would sort it out. If not, they were highly valuable assets that could be used against the Empire or as liaisons.

So, let's orient this from Essek's POV. This bunch of chucklefucks that don't know court decorum came into the queen's throne room, intending to ask a favor in exchange for ridding Asarius of a demon infestation. Then a rival noble calls them out for attacking him and other Kryn outside of Asarius. Just before they're arrested, the human (ginger with blue eyes, a Zemnian) pulls out a beacon of the Luxon, announces that he and his friends are not friends of the Empire, and then offers it to the Bright Queen. Now they're the queen's favored, and out of all the people at court that day, she chose Essek Thelyss, the Shadowhand, in charge of the Dungeon of Penance, to keep an eye on them.

But Essek is the one that stole the beacons. He realizes the same possibilities (spies or well-intentioned rubes), but if anyone in the Dynasty knew about the Volstrucker, it'd be Essek. There is no reason whatsoever for Essek to trust the Nein because those beacons were supposed to stay in the Empire. The reason he handed them over in the first place was that he was supposed to share in the research done by incredibly powerful wizards who did not care about the religious significance. Whether Essek knew or not that one had been lost by the Assembly, the Nein's act of returning one negatively impacted the deal he made. There's the possibilities that Ikithon and the other Assembly members betrayed Essek by lying or hiding information, or perhaps they sent the Nein to expose Essek as the traitor to remove a loose end, or perhaps the Nein really are ignorant and they could gum everything up. Regardless of which situation this is, the best outcome for Essek would be neutralizing the interlopers before they come upon, intentionally or not, his involvement in the theft of the beacons.

The problem, of course, is that the Nein are Heroes of the Dynasty, and since Essek is responsible for their care in the Dynasty, failure to safeguard them would also reflect badly upon him. That could also sabotage his position and ability to do the research he pleases. So he can't just kill them. He has to get them killed in a way that would not make him look bad, preferably in a way that scapegoats someone else for the inevitable blame at failing to protect them.

The condemned Scourger attacked Caleb in episode 77. None of the events between Essek's introduction and that point provide a reason for Essek to trust the Nein regarding his personal risk as a traitor to the Dynasty. Here are his subsequent appearances and what happened:

Episode 57: Essek lets Yeza out of his prison after the interrogation yields information on DeRogna's research of the beacons (the potions Yeza made) and that she took the beacon back two days before the attack, which was shortly before the Nein arrived in Felderwin and began heading to the Dynasty. Because of the timeline of events, Essek realizes that must be the second beacon, so now both are accounted for. This also lets him know what sort of research they did with that beacon, and since Yeza only saw one, the one the Nein returned must have been used for something else. This is great intel for Essek, but not a reason to trust the Nein--only to find them useful.

Episode 61: After the Nein report back to Professor Waccoh of their completion of her mission, Essek arrives at the Inn where he lodged the Nein and escorts them to the Thelyss estate that his den has secured for them. Notably, the work they did was not for Essek; they worked for Waccoh and were paid for the trouble. That just proved they're capable mercenaries.

Episode 62: Essek visits the Xhorhaus after the Nein have settled a bit. He's rather cold: declines offer to join for dinner, declines a drink, has to be persuaded to answer why he isn't familiar with the neighborhood, doesn't want to say where he lives, repeatedly says he wants to get back to his research, etc. It's only once Caleb starts discussing magic and how he wants to learn that Essek starts the game they play about trying to get info from the other without divulging anything useful. Essek requests something impressive for the chance he might teach Caleb something. He then asks questions when Caleb shows off his familiar and giant earthen cat paw:

Essek was flat out rude to Beau, and this was before the whole "White Xhorhasian" drink faux pas. But even with an unimpressive persuasion roll, he offers Caleb a choice of the types of spells he could learn and even lets Caleb handle and read the book himself. Again, Essek has no reason to trust the Nein at this point. This wasn't because he believed or trusted Caleb--Caleb didn't persuade Essek of shit. Essek was fishing for information. He was already going to teach Caleb something, and the persuasion roll was probably to see how many spell levels he'd get. What spells does this Zemnian that stole a beacon from the Empire want to know? Would he give into the temptation to read elsewhere in the book? Caleb chose "the bending of fate, destiny" and learned Fortune's Favor and Gift of Alaracity. Essek is slightly less rude to the Nein as he leaves, probably pleased that he learned something useful in exchange for low-level dunamancy spells, plus now Caleb owes him a favor. Favors are a great way to set up the Nein for whatever scheme he intends later.

Episode 63: Essek is present in the Bright Queen's throne room when the Nein report their findings from the Overcrow Apothecary to her. During this conversation, Caleb admits to the Bright Queen that he had received some training to become a Scourger, though he did not complete it. When Essek is asked if he believes them about the cult of the Angel of Irons, he says he does, and even says he trusts them, though he declines to join them on this quest. Essek has not had any reason to trust the Nein by this point. He flat out lied. Even Fjord commented "'Cause he's been checking on that shit," because he and the others felt Essek was likely keeping an eye on them via Scrying (since they discovered hovering orbs in the Xhorhaus). Maybe their strangeness and civility (even if a little racist) made them endearing, but that's a different issue from trust. Essek wants them to chase down this cult precisely because it is dangerous and could get them killed. All the better that they die in service of the Dynasty, because then he won't be blamed for something sanctioned by the Bright Queen herself.

Episode 65: Jester sends to Essek asking about the Arbor Exemplar in the Barbed Fields, and while she asked for more, he only provides the name, notes it's dangerous terrain, and says they're doing him proud.

Episode 70: When the Nein return to Rosohna and report to the Bright Queen, Essek is again in the throne room. Before Essek is singled out, Caleb requests from the Bright Queen more training from Essek and info on the newly captured Scourger (which they just learned about, and Caleb suspects is Astrid). The Bright Queen says that the Nein haven't quite earned that much trust yet. Once Caduceus explains that the Nein want to fast and safe travel to the Flotket Alps, Essek makes himself known and offers to take them there, again declining to do more than transport them. Essek does not accompany the Nein to see the Scourger, but considering it's his dungeon and he is a spymaster, he was probably Scrying or otherwise tracking what transpired. Of course, it turns out that she isn't Astrid. Later, Caleb returns to the Lucid Bastion and waits to speak to Essek. Caleb confirms he was not actually a Scourger, but knows some about them. Caleb also requests a chance to speak to the Scourger again, even if Essek is there, and that they not accelerate the execution. (He didn't even ask for a delay.) Essek says he'll see and leaves.

Sidebar: Essek absolutely wants intel from this Scourger. He would know they report to the Assembly, and he would not know whether they are aware of his deal with the Assembly. As a condemned captive, her word against his isn't going to mean anything anyway, so the potential of the Scourger outing Essek is practically nil. Thus, there isn't any real risk at letting the Scourger say whatever she wants to say to Caleb. If anything, observing undetected meant better intel.

Episode 71: Jester sends to Essek, who arrives with an armed guard (weird) to teleport the Nein to the Flotket Alps. Before they go, the Nein left ball bearings on the ground to see if Essek floats (he does) and then pretend to berate Dairon, their "housekeeper", for leaving them out. Essek seems to find the whole thing amusing, then teleports them. They got a mishap because of the roll, but then arrive in the mountains. Again, stuff that could be endearing, but why did Essek have an armed guard...? That's so weird.

Episode 72: The Nein poke a little fun at Essek for the mishap, but he leaves via a Teleportation Circle.

Episode 73: Caleb asks Jester to Send to Essek to ask about the status of the Scourger's execution date, but Jester instead requests a delay. Remember how Caleb didn't request a delay before? Now he's requesting a delay indirectly; he didn't even ask Essek himself. (Man, that would seem rude from Essek's POV.) Essek responds that he'll try, but notes his den has no further interest in keeping the Scourger alive. When Caleb asks Jester to pass on that he might be able to help because of his history, Essek responds the same, but cracks a joke since Jester ended with "You pooping?" Essek's trying to endear himself to Jester, but we can't conclude whether it's sincere or subterfuge. After all, if she told anyone he joked, he could easily deny it. That was specifically for her.

Episode 74: The Nein send to Essek and ask him to come to the Xhorhaus so he can teleport them and meet someone. They briefly discuss the Scourger, and while Essek managed to get an extension of 2 weeks on the execution, he needs more of a heads up for Caleb to visit the Scourger again. Caleb then says here is a formal request, and Essek says he'll deal with that arrangement then. They introduce him to Reani, he dispels an enchantment on a paper hiding some items, then he teleports them to Mythburrow. At the end of the episode, Matt notes they're racking up quite a debt to Essek.

Let's pause there.

Each prior time the Nein went to the Dungeon of Penance, it was impromptu. They had just been announced as Heroes of the Dynasty when Essek personally took them to the dungeon to see Yeza as their first stop. The Nein were permitted to visit the Scourger unescorted as soon as they learned about her. Now there needs to be notice? It couldn't be because of the execution because the Bright Queen mentioned to begin with that the Scourger would be executed. There was no change of plan other than the extension that the Nein requested only a day prior. Why would Essek need to give anyone notice about someone visiting a condemned prisoner held in the prison that he manages?

Probably to make sure that Scourger has a fucking shiv.

Episode 75: At the beginning of the episode, before returning to Rosohna, Essek notes the Nein are ridiculous, tells them to have fun, and even calls them "friends." Again, that makes him seem endearing and less formal, but it's done out in the boonies. If any of them tried to tell someone from the Dynasty that he had done any of those things, he could probably deny it. So his reputation is safe, and it makes it seem like he likes them.

That's twice now he's been nice without any reason to trust them. Hmmm, sure seems like building some plausible deniability to me.

Episode 77: Jester summons Essek to the Xhorhaus. They discuss that the Bright Queen would like the Nein to find where the remaining beacon is in the Empire. Caleb attempts to fish for whether any particular Assembly members come to mind that Essek wants investigated, but he replies that he could list all of them if Caleb likes. Beau's insight check to see if Essek is sincere about ending the conflict fails. Caleb attempts to fish for a last known location of the beacon, and Essek gives an unhelpful answer that it must certainly be moved frequently. That's Essek being rude; they already know the beacon was last seen in Felderwin because Yeza said DeRogna took it from there 2 days before his capture by the Kryn. Essek is being intentionally and obviously obtuse. Fjord asks if others are on this quest, and Essek answers yes, but declines to give the Nein a way to identify them. Then they bring up the condemned Scourger, and Essek only recommends speaking to her soon; no specified date. Caleb asks if that day works, then Essek assents and offers to escort him.

That sure is a suspicious moment to suddenly decide to be helpful, isn't it? Sure is weird that he went back to being rude after being openly amiable and even joking with them, isn't it?

Then, when they arrive at the prison:

That is a really weird thing to say after the Nein were permitted to visit this same prisoner unescorted without notice as soon as they learned about her. Of course, then the attack happens. Matt doesn't mention whether Essek entered the cell before, during, or after Caleb starts talking to the Scourger, but Essek kills the Scourger after the attack.

Looking back at all the events that occurred leading to this point, Essek has not had any reason not to think that the Nein are somehow working for the Assembly or otherwise would expose him to the Bright Queen if they discovered what he had done. The key issue is that if the Nein placed their loyalties to either the Empire or the Dynasty over their loyalty to him, they could ruin him. That circumstance hasn't changed by this point, so the only reason to keep any of them alive is that they're cute. There's his entire life in the balance if he keeps letting them run around, especially if they search for the other beacon.

With that in mind, setting up the Scourger to be able to attack Caleb only puts his reputation at risk, and Essek has already taken steps to minimize that problem. Caleb was the one that requested a delay. Caleb was the one that wanted to speak to the Scourger. Caleb was the one that volunteered he had been training to be one. Caleb was the one that offered to fish for information useful to the Dynasty. Each was a push on the Dynasty's normal procedure and/or a personal risk to himself.

And what does Essek have to gain? It would be easy for Essek to frame this as the Assembly's pet Zemnians putting themselves at risk for small gains, and they're so devious even the best prison in the Dynasty was not enough to secure them perfectly. All the more reason to demonize the Empire and the Scourgers. It wouldn't matter if Caleb died or not; the attack was simply fuel for propaganda. Remember, Essek did not want peace. He wanted war. That bolstered his position as a spymaster, distracted the Dynasty from anything he was up to, and provided cover for the Assembly's research. In the long-term, it would just be one more incident to point to if Essek ever needed to sow dissent about Caleb's mental or emotional stability or the risk posed to the Dynasty by the Assembly.

And if Caleb died? One less member of the Nein to worry about. They'd gotten Essek some decent intel about the beacons, about DeRogna's research, and about the Scourgers. But that's it. They've done him no favors, they aren't directly useful for his research, and they're a massive liability.

Either of those outcomes specifically required violence. It wouldn't be enough for the Scourger to just rage in her chains. She needed to somehow get loose and have a weapon. Spells wouldn't have been a sufficient/sensible threat; she wouldn't have possibly been able to prepare spells from a book, and cantrips wouldn't have done much on their own against someone as strong as Caleb. But getting the Empire-trained assassin a shiv sure would have been a threat to a wizard made of soggy paper, and no matter how it played out, it only made the Empire look more monstrous.

So, yeah, I absolutely believe Essek went out of his way to make sure the Scourger would have an opportunity and weapon to attack Caleb. Risking some human's life for one more justification to prolong a war he started? That's the sort of shit I would expect from a neutral evil Shadowhand.

[strqyr]

choice. destiny. worthiness. i'll take her. i will take... what is mine. and take... what is mine.

pyrrha asks cinder if she believes in destiny. cinder says yes. and despite everything that has happened since, she still does. the fall maiden. the maiden of choice.

"so... the destiny i chose for you has arrived." "you chose nothing. this... was a gift."

did cinder choose her own destiny, or was it chosen for her? it was not a gift—not a direct one, at least—, that was something else: "if ruby rose has learned to harness her gift, then you must take care to protect yours. there's only so much i can do to aid you."

"so i will take... what is mine..." gifts are not taken, they're given.

"you can't just be deserving, you have to be worthy!" "you're not just worthy of such power. but i am." except vernal never was the spring maiden. hm.

"you can't just be strong, you have to be smart!"—you need to be both; "you know, i've heard so many stories about you, raven. they say you're a cunning leader, that you're strong, that you're clever... it's a shame that they're wrong." they weren't so wrong, though. deserving, maybe raven doesn't think that, but... maybe she's worthy of them, still.

the maiden powers... they're a gift. something to be worthy of. two for two. can they be your destiny? or is that a foolish endeavor: it's not destiny, it would be a grave mistake to think so. every choice is ours and ours alone. this hasn't all been mapped by fate, this is the future we create.

no. destiny doesn't play a role here, i think. for cinder, it's a concept centered around getting all the maiden powers, but. cinder answers pyrrha's question after she's fully the fall maiden. a choice she made, to become the maiden of choice. a future she created for herself.

a gift. being worthy. a choice. three for three.

[foryoupeko]

I saw someone asking why I labeled something as Peko/Buki even tho I'm a Kuzu/Peko shipper. Other then the fact multishippers exist, I didn't consider that as a Kuzu/Peko comic. Ibuki expressed more interest in Peko than Fuyuhiko.

Call me asexual but I don't think just because Fuyuhiko was close to Peko's hip, it should be considered explicit shipping.

So just to be clear on my stance, I am okay with you ppl labeling my art as any ship but there are some boundaries.

Don't label it with problematic ships like incest or age gap.

If the art is clearly about one couple, don't make it about another. But if it's just a group of ppl chilling then you can find whatever couple you like.

I personally hate Mahi/Peko but I know I'm gonna draw things exploring Mahiru's crush on Peko so that's on me if ppl interpret it that way. Just don't be weird, because I have no quams with never drawing Peko and Mahiru within 5 feet of each other. I've drawn Case 2 ten times and I've only drawn Mahiru once.

I made a list of Peko's relationship with others if you wanna know my stance on her ships.

Hajime -I will never let people forget Hajime has a canon crush on Peko. Besides that, Hajime is Peko's first true friend. Outside of Fuyuhiko, Hajime is the only person Peko feels comfortable confiding in her secrets. He doesn't judge and is very kind. Meanwhile Hajime goes to Peko when he needs a cool headed and rational opinion.

Chiaki - Queerplatonic, they snuggle a lot. Chiaki is chill and her games makes it easier for Peko who has no experience talking to people have things to relate to. Peko understands when Chiaki is emotionless for the most part and then burst into excitement when it's something she's passionate about. They developed their own little language in those situations.

Nagito - Nagito likes to take advantage of Peko’s kindness and clings to her. Peko doesn’t mind hanging out with Nagito but stares dagger into him when he’s being too forward with others (he doesn’t read social cues so he’s not gonna catch it). Nagito thinks of himself as a diet Fuyuhiko. As long as Peko provides support, he'll look out for her.

Teruteru - He's super turned on by Peko but gets flustered when she genuinely cares about him (turns out he does not have a mommy kink). Peko enjoys Teruteru teaching her about cooking so the two eventually bond over that.

Imposter - Peko’s best friend on the island. They both relate to not knowing who they’re supposed to be. At the same time, they don’t see each other as just victims. They’re both people trying to grow and become better. When these two are together some say they're TOO COOL (actually Ibuki is the only one that said this)

Mahiru - Mahiru has a giant crush on Peko. At first she believe she knows what’s best for her and tries to takes her away from Fuyuhiko. Once she accepts Peko doesn’t want her help, she tries to be happy for Peko and Fuyuhiko.

Hiyoko: Is jealous of Peko so she lashes out at her a lot. Originally it was for looking mature/sexy and gardening Mahiru’s attraction. But after she learned of Peko’s past, she’s jealous that she didn’t have her own bodyguard to protect her from the multiple assassination attacks she went through.

Ibuki: Queerplatonic, they kiss A LOT. Ibuki loves seeing Peko awkwardly cheer for her at concerts (imagine Pearl from Steven Universe type of awkward) Peko made Ibuki realize that quiet is okay. Because only when it’s quiet, she can hear Peko’s heart beat speed up. I think they would be a cute fling but these two come from two different worlds. Ibuki is a party rocking planet and Peko is a silent moon. Maybe if the stars aligned they could've made it work. But that doesn't mean you can't appreciate eclipses.

Mikan: Mikan’s ability to read micro facial expressions helps her interpret a lot of Peko’s hidden emotions. Peko likes Mikan but Mikan mistaken Peko’s quietness with secret resentment (she can read that Peko isn’t mad but sometimes mental illness makes you ignore facts). Mikan is had to get close to and Peko doesn't have the social understanding to truly know her.

Gundham: He has adopted her as his own. He feels the need to protect this person on par with his traumatic backstory. She must realize this too, that’s why she keeps flocking to him and his four dark devas. Meanwhile Peko only understands 50% of what he’s saying but she’s trying. Sonia (and Gonta in non despair AU) has to interpret sometimes. Giant Big Brother and Little Sister energy.

Sonia: Sonia is the extrovert who adopts an introvert. Sonia wants to hang out with all her classmates and one of the few who doesn't see Peko cool demeanor as disinterest. Sonia is the only one who can relate to Peko's isolation and only she knows the kind of loneliness that can come with being around others. Peko doesn't realize this on her part and it hurts Sonia. But Sonia doesn't stop trying.

Kazuichi: Scared and aroused by Peko. I head anon one time his trash picking robot accidentally took Peko’s sword and it exploded. Kazuichi was so scared to admit it to Peko but once he did - Peko was more concerned about him than her sword. He’s convinced she’s in love with him and begs Fuyuhiko to ask her out for him. Peko bluntly declines.

Nekomaru - Nekomaru passionately talks with Peko about a lot of things. At first it was Kendo, then it was training, proper diet, and it spiraled into Nekomaru talking excitably about his day. Peko is a good listener but even she can go deaf from all the yelling. Ibuki bails her out sometimes. I think Nekomaru and Sonia are the only people who know how to push Peko out of her comfort zone without overstepping. Ibuki can be too excited in getting Peko to do new things. Hajime and Chiaki doesn't see a problem with Peko doing her own thing.

Akane - The girls bond over being asexual together. No talk about love or mushy stuff. They talk with battle! At least according to Akane. Peko is hesitant to train with Akane because she believes only someone strong like Sakura could handle her blade. Akane takes that as an open challenge and tries to blindside Peko until she takes her seriously. Akane does have to learn boundaries at one point. Maybe the person who grew up in constant danger doesn't want to keep looking over her shoulders in case her classmates attack her.

Fuyuhiko - Ultimately, though everything, this blog will always be a Kuzu/Peko blog. Growing up, Fuyuhiko developed a crush on Peko but never acted on it. Only after a chance conversation with Sakura about what being in love is like, Peko realized in middle school she is in love with Fuyuhiko. By that point their relationship is strained. Fuyuhiko is constantly telling Peko he doesn't need a tool and pretend they don't know each other. Peko doesn't want to be forgotten by Fuyuhiko, this person she spent everyday with. She planned on asking him out, as equals, but then Twilight Syndrome Murder happened. There was no time for love when there was so much hate in his heart. Eventually after everything, the two realizes they need each other. Fuyuhiko only pushed Peko away because he thought she couldn't grow as a person if she was constantly worried about him. Peko realizes she can still care and protect Fuyuhiko as a fellow warrior by his side. These two understand each other so well that they don't need to talk. But this also leads to terrible miscommunications.

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

ALSO I think that

Wigfrid and Wendy could work as a duo. Both are very eloquent in a Shakespearean way, both have some level of obsession with death (wendy's obvious, wigfrid has her death seeking behavior), both have their eloquence masking Something (there's lines where Wendy's shown to have more childish interests that she tends to hide like arts and crafts, and wigfrid i don't think i need to explain). Do you see my vision

Copycat Gumi with Wigfrid. You get it

i had a writing WIP once somewhat surrounding this subject that i wanted to tackle, but i never really got around to it. inevitably the concept was abandoned and i used the same drive for Access Denied, which- while it's old and i'm not as happy as i used to be with it anymore- i feel like fills a niche for wigfrid and wendy friendships that i don't really see anywhere else.

they both romanticize death, they both have a habit of waxing poetic. i also do think that there's an argument made for wigfrid being very similar to what we know about abigail, and what something like that might possibly do to someone like wendy.

they're both loud and boisterous and act without thinking. they're incredibly defensive of the people they hold dear, and retaliative violence is just about the first thing they'll jump to. they both often find themselves in dangerous situations without really thinking them through. abigail doesn't have a mouth anymore, so she can't really smile, but wigfrid is the only other character in the game with a gap teeth that mimic's her own.

i don't know. i think there's something to reacting to wigfrid's toothy smile with a blood chilling shudder that kind of does something to me

[jacky-rubou]

HOW DID I WRITE 10K WORDS FOR THIS FIC ALREADY AAAAAAAAAAAAA

[ro-sham-no]

(ok sorry, I'm adding this out loud here because doing it in the tags was getting ridiculous LOL)

I feel like Lucifer knows Sam to an EXTREMELY high degree, but only in certain facets.

Lucifer knows Sam's anger, pain & fear better than anyone ever could, obviously. And he might PERCIEVE that he knows Sam's love, happiness, & desires better than anyone else, too, because he's seen all his memories (through possession). But I don't think anyone knows Sam's love & devotion better than Dean, not even Sam himself or, by proxy, Lucifer. Ultimately, Lucifer only knows those parts of Sam through Sam's own lens of memories, or, through how Sam acts during hallucinations/alternate realities. But we know Sam was able to see through those at least to an extent, because he has the instinct to question things when he gets caught up in the is-it-real headspace when he's hallucinating. I personally feel like Lucifer was never able to truly experience and gain knowledge of those emotions from Sam, even if he was dressed up as Dean. Because even if he imitated Dean perfectly, that still means that Sam's love isn't REALLY directed at him, thus removing him to a degree from getting the full knowledge of Sam in that way.

Conversely, although Lucifer knows it to a more extreme degree & from a different perspective of purposefully inflicting it for so long, I think Dean knows Sam's anger, pain, and fear at a very high level, as well. He's his brother, mother, soulmate, etcetera. He's spent his whole life taking care of Sam. He was there for his first nightmare, and Lucifer will never get to experience that, not truly, because Sam doesn't have the capacity to remember it (young babies have nightmares, too!). Dean was there for Sam's first semi-serious little-kid-wound, which, considering their life on the run starting from when Sam was 6 months old, he probably got hurt way too young and subsequently is again unlikely to remember it. Dean knows the exact shape of Sam's fists, his glares, his petty kid-elbows and knees, in all their growing forms throughout the years. He intimately knows the shape of Sam's anger, directed at their father, directed at him, in its subtlest form, maybe even the most potent, as a result of living with & loving the objects of your anger - which I believe Lucifer also didn't get to experience in the same way, because Sam's anger at him is so intrinsically tied with a sickening fear, in a way that Sam has never been afraid of Dean or John.

Once again, even if Lucifer perfectly imitated someone Sam was close to (Dean or otherwise) and got to experience Sam's entire range of outward emotions from their perspective in an altered reality where Sam was COMPLETELY unaware, it still doesn't impart the same emotional knowledge, the same impact of having that directed at your actual personhood. I think this is a crutch to Lucifer's understanding of Sam, especially in terms of understanding his unconsciousness - the stuff Lucifer wouldn't get from just memories, the same things that Sam doesn't perceive on his own but that someone like Dean would know explicitly.

And I think this is where the crux lies: Lucifer doesn't understand humanity.

Dean does. Sometimes better than Sam, to an extent, in my opinion. That's not to say that he's gracious about it, of course, LOL. But he recognizes patterns in human/humanoid behavior faster than Sam, oftentimes. I believe that shows a clear, intrinsic understanding of humanity. Not to mention that he is, in fact, human.

Lucifer doesn't know humanity. We know that Lucifer can be caught off-guard by Sam (re: getting thrown in the cage) - showing that he doesn't predict human logic & capability perfectly, despite all of his knowledge & his time spent in the universe. He EXPRESSLY states that he doesn't understand humans; doesn't understand personhood - he hates humans, he thinks they're stupid and unworthy. With that mindset, I think Lucifer can never truly understand, never truly know Sam.

SUFFICE TO SAY: Lucifer knows Sam in ways that Dean never will, most certainly. But, I think Dean knows better about who Sam is as a whole entity. He knows him from the perspective of Sam himself (they lived in each other's pockets, of course Dean understands how Sam ticks, even if he misconstrues it with his own emotions), and he knows him from the outside perspective of the one person who loves Sam the most and who is loved by him the most, in return, and ultimately, he knows Sam from his perspective as a human.

[neoputo]

& it's 3am & it's 4am & it's 5am & you're still here

do you ever lay plain sad on your bed at 3am, waiting for something, maybe a text or a sign, anything that could tell you someone cares about you, yet it just won't arrive? and you know it won't, but still you wait & wait & you can't go to sleep. you feel like something's missing, like there's a void you need to fill —a void inside of you that you need somebody else to fill. & yet you keep trying to fill the void yourself, by staring at all sorts of colors through the glass screen of your phone. but it isn't enough, it isn't what you need, it isn't what you long for. so you just lie awake, coming up with different excuses as to avoid closing your eyes. & you think & think & think. your head is always so loud, so full of voices you barely recognize. even under the daylight. & then there's the buzz, the everlasting buzz that won't leave you alone. at times it gets quieter, at times it gets louder. nonetheless, it's always there. then it's 4am. it's 4am until it isn't. minutes run faster than the blood in your veins. you lose track of time so easily. one moment you're brushing your teeth & throwing into your pajamas, & the next one you're listening to the birds chirping by the window. you're not sure how you got there, not sure when you got there. you just are there. & that's all you know. & the world feels so unreal for a second. you feel like you're floating inside a black and endless vacuum. & in a way, you are, for all the lights in your bedroom are turned off & the darkness is so deep, so matte, you don't know where the walls start & where they end. it's like you're trapped inside an (redundantly) infinite black hole. & so you feel so light, so fluid, yet your surroundings feel so heavy, so dense. & just like an astronaut taking his helmet off in outer space, your head is about to explode. & you just can't help it, a soul as fragile as glass, you're a poet at heart, you're a poet at mind. & as a poet, you feel too much, you feel too closely, you feel too violently. it's devastating & still you enjoy it. you've always gotten a taste for the sorrowful. you've always been drawn to watching the blood spill out of your wounds, feeling the ache without any intention of stopping it. you're a bleeder. you're a masochist. you're a punch in the wall. there's no use changing, you've already tried. & you always fall back into the same old pit. what are you chasing, partner? what is it that you crave? i'm sure there's something hidden in all these bloody bruises & all these lost teeth that captures your eye. there must be meaning behind all this suffering you endure & embrace. so, what is it? what does your soul ache for? what makes you so scared of closing your eyes at night? what keeps you from healing all these scars? tell me, partner, what is the reason, the justification, for such an unusual response? all questions remain unanswered. you're a mystery that's left behind not one single clue. you're a secret that's never been spoken, not even whispered through any pair of lips. you're like the ocean, so familiar & still so deceitful. you don't trust anyone & so how could anyone ever trust you? you hide behind a mirror, a reflection of what other's want to see. never truly yourself, never truly somebody at all. what a lonely existence! i hope one day you're found & someone discovers what lies behind the glass. i hope you don't shatter in pieces & cut yourself & everyone around you. i hope i'm early enough to prevent you from turning into glassy dust. i hope it's not too late for you to have a happy ending. then it's 5am & all you've done was pray for something that will never belong to you. better close your eyes before you vanish like you've never set foot on this earth.

[smokin-salmon]

HAPPY (very, very late) BIRTHDAY MIRABELLE!!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 4.5: Morning Period.

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5)

[tcustodisart]

Don't mind me I'm just being cringe.

[nitraash]

Imagine being hungry and waiting for your boyfriend to bring home dinner, hoping that today will be different. Maybe he's finally gotten tired of it, maybe he's going to bring home something different tonight. You hope that you and your taste buds will be safe from the taste of pizza tonight, maybe even free of it for at least the rest of the week, one can only hope. Then you hear the front door open, and you greet Guy with the usual "Hey babe how was work?" No sign of pizza, or any food really, as you greet him with a kiss. He tells you the food is in the car, and he goes back out to get it. You're a weird mix of both hopeful and worried, hoping that he didn't bring home pizza again, but worried that he did. You settle down onto the couch, watching the front door eagerly to see what he brings home. And as he opens the front door, food in hand, you slowly turn around.

It's pizza again. He's so cute that you can't be upset though, so you just cope with it. Maybe tomorrow you'll be free.

Honey after guy brings pizza home for dinner for the 16th night in a row

[inkskinned]

you have to be sexy but you have to be sexy in a way that's kind of bloody. you learn this early because you are wearing a ruffled skirt and the snow around your ankles kicks little sand particles against your calves. baby's first catcall. welcome to sexiness! welcome to the eyesore of your own body!

you have to be sexy like high heels. like sculpted eyebrows. like lean stomach and highly treated hair. you have to be sexy like youth is sexy, which means you have to be sexy like boxtox and plastic. a 30 year old can be sexy but she's not going to be bloody, and they like the bloodiness of it. a 30 year old is sexy when she is a whiskey glass and a wooden desk.

but you need to be sexy like an open mouth. you need to be sexy like a bitten apple. like plucked skin and white-knuckling the waxing kit.

so sex is a performance, not an enjoyment. for a while, you just assumed everyone else was also in on the joke - nobody actually likes sex that much, right? like, some men probably do, but why would you? it is like a gender - your gender is sexy. your gender is the performance of sex. you are thigh highs and garter belts. which, to be fair, do make you feel sexy.

part of what does make sex good is that you can tell that other people want you, which means the performance of sexiness is both bloody and wanted, which is good, which means you are winning at having a body. being wanted is the prize. being wanted is the thing you are searching for, not hope. you think you are looking for a soft grave in easy loam, but that is bloody but not sexy. to be sexy you must be bloody like a red open sign. bloody like a handprint. this will make you wanted.

any wanted or unwanted body is subject to supply and demand, which is to say that the more demand, the better you are valued. you must be highly demanded to be valued. this is stated in matter-of-fact by some men. sometimes it is a priest that says it, and sometimes it is a podcaster, and sometimes it is the 45th president of the united states of america.

(if you do not have any experience with being told your value, i want you to grab the nearest bird to you and i want you to crush it into a thin paste in your hand. spit into the center, and then hold your fingers closed tight around it for days and days, long after the rot has set in. feel bones itch inside of your fist. this is only a fraction of what it actually feels like, but it will suffice for a moment.)

good sex feels like you have earned their desperation. you have earned your own value. for a while you operated under the understanding that everyone knew about the power structure, even him. that their desire to take you - the violence of it - means that you must desire to be caught. little prince, guardian fox - you would rather have cut your own arm off. you liked the secret, cunning little voice you keep tucked into a box. you think you are fucking me. i am not even here right now. you are fucking what i conned you into perceiving. this is a painting, not a person. dominion over the body before all things.

so you bend your body like a wheat shaft and learn the steps so perfectly that it almost seems graceful. (if you do not have experience faking your own connection to your body and sexuality, cut each of your articles of clothing just a little bit incorrectly. pour fishbones into each of your meals. this way, you will experience the average noon on a tuesday.)

you have to be sexy like light spilled over a desk, but not desperate. not a noose. you can't be sexy like an electric guitar, you are the acoustic. you have to be on top of the bull but you can't have control over the animal.

okay, okay. the little rabbit of your heart went to sleep so long ago that winter has ravaged your concept of the human soul. there's something very-bad inside you, something that has taken over, a little fetid and rabid animal, angry and hurting and willing to bite first.

oh but even that's a pain that's sexy. open your mouth. be careful not to let the canines show.

[cosmicstarlatte]

i love all your monster fucker posts. size kink makes my head go BRRRRRRR

so ok ok ok. hear me out,,,

i’ve seen some monster lucifer fan art and just ,,, HIM

monster luci pumping you full with such a huge load your belly gets all distended…. all proud and smug seeing it leaking back out

LORT HAVE MERCY IM BOUT TO BUST

lucifer is already a big dude, but like, the thought of him like 3/4/5 times my size. bruh

sorry to drop in randomly. just wanted to share these thoughts with somebody that wouldn’t think i’m weird about it LMAO

nsfw 18+ // size difference, cum, belly bulge

*crawls from out the sewer* did you say MONSTER LUCIFER???

monster lucifer that lays back in bed & sits you on top of his mouth, holding your legs wide open & listening to your soft moans as he ravishes your hole with his tongue getting you prepped. your poor hands are barely able to hold onto his horns as he makes you come rather quickly.

monster lucifer that wraps his large hands around your waist & easily lifts you off his face as you let out a small whine, he places your sloppy hole directly over the tip of his leaking cock, rubbing his slick against you before finally squeezing his tip in, breathing out a small sigh of relief.

monster lucifer that can't believe how tiny you are compared to him; proud of his little human for being able to take as much of his demon cock into that tiny body. he grunts as he feels you clench around him... always so greedy.

monster lucifer that helps his little human bounce onto his fat demon cock, falling in love harder every time he watches half of it disappear between your legs, being able to see the bulge within you. his thrusts get rougher, faster, as he tries to reach that blissful high. thinking about how much he wants to fill you to the brim.

monster lucifer that groans knowing he won't be able to take much longer of your sinfully tight hole. he continues rocking your hips onto his cock & finally let's out a low moan as he reaches his peak, his eyes stay open just enough to see his cum filling you up, your tummy expanding from the sheer amount of it. he drains his balls completely before sliding out, watching the excess spill & the little small triumphant smile on your tired face.

monster lucifer that smirks & dips his fingers between your legs, trying to shove his seed back into your completely stuffed hole, "my little lamb, what did i tell you about wasting?" ♡

[caffichai]

@praxinas warlock Harlow, for the very last day of Artfight 2023!

I love the Eliksni armor from Season of Splicer and the aesthetic, just in general

[noirhistories]

Watching attentively as the man reached for a pencil, Jen's eyes followed the smooth glide of graphite on paper as he gave her a very polite brush off and didn't move until he finished. Only then did she seek out the expression on his face, the grimace somehow the expression that seemed the most natural to him. Or maybe it was only the one she was the most used to seeing. Lucky him, Jen was very good at playing along.

"Yes." She answered dutifully, reaching out with manicured nails to touch the paper and feeling as if she was signing some sort of contract with him. "I understanding." Picking the paper up and folding it, she traced a fingertip along the flowing script and had to admit that he had nice handwriting for someone in the medical field. That was one compliment she would give him without any exaggeration, so of course it was the compliment she didn't say.

Reading over it quickly, she was pleased that there were a few things that she hadn't thought of. A copycat was something that already crossed her mind, but she was only interested in Jeff's killer, who might very well disappear with all the focus on the copycat, unless this just baited the original into another murder. Unlikely, considering how much time had passed, but still. First, passion. Second, art. She hadn't thought of it like that, hadn't thought of it as perhaps a group except for when she assumed the cult was responsible. If they were sending messages, just what kind? Chewing on her lip, she wished that there were more holes in the department so that a better leak would come out.

"Doctor Hernandez, I meant what I said. The fact that you remember my brother and care to investigate… that matters to me. It's not in my interest for you to lose your position here because I'd much rather someone I know remembers Jeff than someone that's only interested in the latest case. I don't want to jeopardize that." Meaning that his little note was safe with her, and as Jen folded it neatly back up, she paused before slipping it into her purse. She didn't need it. She'd read it, after all, and if she had a match, she would burn it for him. Instead she slid it back towards him and smiled. "Now, what should I bake for you next?"

His past was his, and no-one else's, and while he might have hated what he did before, there's no denying that it gave him skills that were sure as hell useful in Antioch. For example, he could deduce why she was coming around more than often if he was some regular man off the street, but the barefaced attempts to get in his good graces and to flatter him ring almost true. She's a good liar, a wonderful liar, even—it's always the half-truths that give people the most trouble. Jen has never lied to him, and it'd trip him up, if he didn't catch the slight bail a the end. Like the stop of a toy ballerina before it comes back down the music box, he takes note of it. He couldn't guess her true feelings exactly, but he thinks that there's a hunger in her for answers, a vague desperation that time and loss have worn away at.

Of course, he could be wrong and have brownies thrown at his face, but he can live with that. Truly.

"Legally, Miss Blume, I can't tell you anything. It's a sensitive investigation that requires me to keep the minutiae to the detectives down at the police station," he starts, his hand going for a pencil to write. Med school gave him chronic illness and a caffeine addiction, but he continues to write perfectly on ruled paper as he talks. Distinct killings. Autopsy suggests copycat killer—original unknown, need more time since I've been a year. First was passion, second was art. Either trying to send messages... or different killer. "So you understand that we are not having this conversation, are we clear?" His eyes meet hers for confirmation, fingers sliding forward the paper as he has a grimace on. "Please say yes."

[flamestar126]

Don't let the robot teach you Irken

(Click for better quality)