#this was what i was thinking of when i saw his mom's bday wish snapchat

[press-f1-to-grieve]

mama's boy <3

[btssavedmylifeblr]

I forgot to send on my voting story. Ok so my brother and I both got mail in ballots, and let me tell you how we both forgot to mail it in so we just thought to bring them to our voting location. The lady there kinda yelled at us? She was confused and didn't know how to go about it. And honestly I just took it because we were the idiots who didn't mail in our ballots. We had to rip them up and they just us new ones to fill out in person and submit. Not exciting, but a story for void snippet. 👀

Anonymous said: Hi!! I'm so excited for void! I voted today around 30 minutes before the polls closed in my neighborhood because I had to wait for my dad and brother to get home from work since they wanted to go all together hehe. It was a pretty fast process! We just pressed buttons on screens (compared to last election where we had to bubble in everything by hand) plus, I got to keep the stylus that they gave us and it works on phones too! 🥰🥰 Thank you! I love your writing so much 💜💜💜

Anonymous said: I did mine through mail me and my husband did and we went to the post office a little while back and then he took us on a nice little date afterward and we got ice cream! Also I love void💖 keep up the good work

Anonymous said: VOTES FOR VOID??? I love democracy and I love VOID! So since May I've (temporarily) moved back home from New York to Indiana RE: covid; I've voted absentee for the both the primaries and presidential election (I'm still in IN rn...blah). I voted early and mailed in my ballot for the presidential election (about 3 weeks ago). Made sure my family was voting (brother mailed it in, mom dropped off a ballot, and dad did early voting) and encourage them to put up a Biden sign in our yard <3

Anonymous said: HI BEE! I ALSO VOTED TODAY! IM 21 SO THIS IS MY FIRST TIME VOTING FOR THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION (my 18th bday didnt make the cutoff since im a december bday) im so happy to have done my part! I made sure to study up on the judges and policies and everything! Luckily the polling place didn't have a line so i was able to get in, get my ballot, and fill it in right away! I even dragged my mom and cousin to come with me. I made a joke on snapchat to encourage my friends to vote too. It was a pic of my "i voted" sticker with a caption saying "omg youre so sexy when you vote aHaha" -🦙

Anonymous said: this is my first time doing this so, so i hope i’m sending this correctly! i voted early in late september by mail! i live in a swing state, so it’s really important for me to vote and not waste time!! bc of my age, this is my first time voting so i’m really nervous 😅

Anonymous said: I voted by email! I'm overseas so I wasn't sure if my ballot would actually make it through in time, so I decided to go electronically. Had to sign a waiver saying I understand that my vote won't be anonymous but I haven't been given a reason to suspect voter suppression/fraud in my state, so I'm happy I think...!

Anonymous said: hi, i voted early on oct 24th. my absentee ballot didn't come in, so i had to travel back home to vote (~3 hour drive). when we got there, there was a ton of people outside the polling place, but no lines, so i was in and out pretty quick. it was my first time voting, so i had all the candidates i was voting for written down on a tiny receipt so i wouldn't forget 😅. my mom was with me, so she voted too. took a pic with my sticker (mask on for extra covid-ness) and went home. drove back the next afternoon!

whippedforkook said: Hi Bee. 💕 I voted in early October - nearly a month ago! 😱 It’s been really weird with all the lead up to the election because it felt like it should have been done once I cast my ballot! A lot of my friends have volunteered to get out the vote: writing postcards to voters, texting, phone banking, working the polls, curing ballots. I didn’t volunteer at all this year, but I hope that all of my friends’ hard work and everyone else’s is enough. I’m also hoping and praying that I will be in a better place mentally for 2022 so that I too can volunteer. Our work starts with 2020 not ends. 💕 Wishing you well. 💕

begineuphoria said: I went and voted last Friday as it was our last early voting day. No way was I going to wait until today with the crowds of people in my area that still act as if masks are somehow infringing on their rights. 🙄 It was a rather normal experience for the most part. Other than having to use a coffee stir stick to press the buttons on the machine to vote. In and out within five minutes.

Anonymous said: I voted down the street at this pretty park this morning. I got up at 5:30 and it was freezing. Luckily I wore like 30 layers and stood outside for 2 hours. Some nasty orange man supporters were rude but everyone else was pretty nice. A really cute older couple was playing soccer with pine cones and kicked it towards me to play too. Not the worst time tbh.

Anonymous said: Did mail-in voting in California! Extremely exhausting and took forever to research all the propositions - they are notoriously tricky in hiding their flaws and one side tends to outrageously outspend the other. But in the end I felt really good about my research and decisions! No need for you to post a snippet for this story - would like to save that to read sometime in the future ;) Thank you so much for doing this!

joonsgotthejuice said: Votes for void??? I am here! I went last Thursday and it was chaotic bc I kept going past the poll place but the line was soooo long so my mom called me and woke me up like "its pouring rain and the line is super short get up I'm gonna pick you up" so thats the story of how I got dressed in 5 minutes and dragged my ass to vote in the rain <3

Anonymous said: i voted early on thursday it was cold and rainy but i went in the late afternoon and thankfully the only waiting i did was a few minutes for an elevator i got very lucky and while waiting for the results is awful the relief that came from voting in general was just great

Anonymous said: Wheeew the polls just closed and I finally got to cast my ballot yayyy ( I was the one working the polls from earlier) it’s been a really really long day and we actually had surprisingly good turnout. I saw a woman try to vote for someone else who claimed to be “helping” and I saw a woman who I’m pretty sure was on some typa something 👀 Overall though I really I’m really thankful for people like you who encouraged people to get out and vote. I hope the odds are in our favor❤️🤞🏼

chelsea-chee said: Hello Bee! Today surprisingly my elderly father wanted to vote so I brought him out with me. He only cared about voting for Biden, which meant I got to help decide who he should vote for with the rest of the candidates and amendments! Say hello to baby bee for me as well! 💖

Anonymous said: Okay I gonna got a chance to vote today and the process wasn’t that bad actually. I went in just now and it wasn’t that busy( thankfully) so no lines. I’m from Texas and it’s gonna be almost impossible to turn this state blue, but every vote counts! I love that you are getting people to vote and also sharing your experiences as well!

owl-orgy said: Dropped off my mail in ballot at a polling location! I originally wanted to vote early in person because I was worried my signature wouldn’t match closely enough but ended up just turning it in and double checked today to make it said “ballot accepted and counted”!

Anonymous said: I voted in person this afternoon, better late than never I guess. I was gonna go last week but then I got cramps from hell. There was no one in line in front of me, I think my county early voted because it was packed everyday the last few weeks

Anonymous said: I voted early a couple weeks ago. Exciting thing though that did happen was I got both my parents to vote for their first time ever.

Anonymous said: I had a mail in vote. So, I filled it out and dropped it in at the ballot box at my library. (I also checked out books for the first time in years, so I had fun!)

bubblyjiminnie said: I literally just finished voting. Lucky for me, the line and wait wasn’t very long, and it was a nice enough day that the short amount of time I had to spend in line outside of the building wasn’t too bad. My social anxiety when it comes to stuff like this tends to be high but that’s what I get for waiting until Election Day instead of going the mail in route. This was only my second time voting, but I’m glad that I did 😊

Anonymous said: I turned my ballot in last week :) I’m not a big fan of crowds and I hate make spur of the moment choices but despite that the first time I was able to vote back in 08 my Mom pressured me into voting in person because “you’d have to experience it at least once in our life”. And ever since then I comfortably vote by mail. I take my time, do all of my research, listen to music, and best of all don’t have to deal with people.

Anonymous said: here in Washington state it’s super easy to vote. I dropped my ballot off in mid-October and it’s already been accounted for! Mail in voting and drop box voting is fantastic and provides equal opportunity and access. Sad to see some people in red states misinforming Americans about it! We also have a referendum for implementing mandatory sex ed, including teaching respect, empathy and consent as part of the curriculum so I was happy to vote yes on that too!

unionrox006 said: I voted about 2 weeks ago by doing a mail in ballot. The other eligible to vote members of my household did the same. We chose to vote by absentee ballot because both my mom and I have an autoimmune disorder, so we have to be careful going out in the pandemic. Tbh, the ballot layout was a bit confusing at first as was all the paperwork and required IDs and documents. But my dad explained it to me and we got them filled out and mailed off. Kinda mad I didn't get a sticker for it though

bluetostone said: Love this and so excited for the next chp of void! I early voted a few weeks ago and because I live in a pretty rural county I was in and out of my polling place in a few minutes. No sticker though 😢. I live in a swing state so it could go either way in terms of delegates. Just praying everyone is safe tonight as the results roll in...though, won't we not know for sure for a couple of days or weeks?

Anonymous said: My mom, sister, and I received our early voting ballots a while ago and I took the longest to fill mine out because it was making me anxious :,( but I did return it before it was due. I checked our ballot statuses and mine and my moms were accepted but my sister’s said they hadn’t received hers back. Then she got another ballot so she filled that one out too and I took it yesterday 👍👍 I think she got two because she changed her address late so they sent two?

vixsynsblog said: Non-interesting voter story: I'm paranoid and live in a highly divided area, so I filed mail-in ASAP, mailed it a few days after cause neighbors are nosy and don't understand boundaries. Was able to track my ballot through my credit company, which was nice. Only thing I was missing was my sticker. Never got one✊😔. So I had to improvise and write it in pen on my disposable mask. I'm working all this week so if riots break out from either side, I'll be at work. Prayers for the safety of others🙏

______

Waaah!!! Thank you all for voting!! You are all my heroes. I am so grateful and proud of you. I’m sorry I ran out of time to respond to you individually. I’m going to drop two big scenes from Chapter 7 in gratitude (one of which will be familiar to my patrons and one won’t). I’m hopeful I will have the whole next chapter out very soon. Love you all!

Void spoilers below the cut.

When you wake up in the morning, there are still no signed HR forms in your messages. Had you been a fool to think they were interested? How much time does it take to decide such a thing? Perhaps just by putting the idea out there explicitly, it had lost all of its taboo appeal. 

There is a calendar reminder waiting for you: Today is chili pepper pollinating day. At least this gives you an excuse to talk to Hoseok. 

You find the science officer in the lab as always, sitting with his knee up against his chest. Hoseok doesn’t look well. He’s got dark circles under his eyes.

“Hey, um…” You shuffle your feet. Want to fuck me? No wait…“You don’t look good. Were you here all night?” you ask.

He blinks at you, bleary-eyed. “Um, was I? Yeah.. I suppose. Lost track of time.” He rubs his eyes, before looking you up and down, then casting his gaze back to the floor. 

All you want to do is ask about the forms. Or the meeting. Or what he thinks of you now. But you don’t. “I need to pollinate the chili peppers today.” Usually Hoseok is the person who assists with that. “But I can get one of the other guys to do it if you need the sleep.”

“No!” Hoseok lurches forward, standing up a bit to rapidly and needing to put his hand back on the bench to steady himself. “I mean, I’m fine.” 

You should disgaree with him. He is exhausted. But you’d like more time to talk to him. 

Pollinating the chili peppers is both time-sensitive and time-consuming, hence why it took two of you to get the job done. There were no insects on your ship to do the job for you and if they didn’t get pollinated, they wouldn’t bear any fruit. Your chili peppers were your favorite crop. Not only a vital source of Vitamin C, but all your food benefitted from having a bit of spice added to it. 

You and Hoseok head for the greenhouse together. The intital set-up gives you something to talk about in the beginning. Hoseok gathers the pollen from one flower onto a paintbrush, then hands it over to you to paint onto the stigmas of each little flower on the next plant in the line.

Slowly the conversation dries up as you fall into a silent rhythm. Other than just enjoying the chili peppers, you must admit that this was one of your favorite tasks on the ship because of the high likelihood that the two of you would brush hands peridically. Always gave you butterflies. But today he seems extra intent on keeping his distance from you. Was he disgusted by you now? His hands are trembling.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” 

His hand twitches so hard that a little rain of yellow pollen cascades onto the floor. He curses in frustration before turning to face you. “Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Um, yes, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“This, um, plan of yours…” he gestures to the vague tension in the air. “It doesn’t feel like you.”

“I’m trying to save the mission. That has always been my top priority.”

“Yeah, I’m still not clear on how this benefits the mission.”

“Yoongi said…” you start to say, but are cut off my Hoseok’s derisive snort. 

“Look, if you’re in love with Yoongi, just go date him, okay? Don’t feel obligated to include the rest of us out of pity.” 

You frown. “I’m not… I’m not in love with him. It’s just sex. Just biology.” 

“This isn’t you!” Hoseok argues back. “You hated the idea of anyone of us ever treating you that way. And now you just want all of us to… to… use you like that?”  He splutters out the end of the sentence.

“No one is using me! This is my plan! I’m in charge!”

He sighs. “Well, I can’t be a part of it. Excuse me.”

______

Taehyung finds you in the gym. It’s good to see him up and about, even if his arm is still in a sling. 

“Hey, so I need to talk to you about this, um, ape sex thing.” He fishes awkwardly into his pockets and pulls out his tablet.  Maybe Jimin was right. Is Taehyung going to be the first to take you up on your offer?

You pause your jog on the elliptical machine. You wish you weren’t so sweaty and gross for this conversation. Taehyung is such an intimidatingly attractive man with those strong eyebrows and that perfect skin. 

Taehyung opens up the tablet and flips to the form. It’s happening. He’s going to sign the form. Shit. Then what will you do? It’s one thing to say you want to have sex with your whole crew, but what if he’s hoping to go right now? You need a shower. 

Taehyung has really nice hands. Long strong fingers delicately navigating the touch screen. It seems totally improbable that a man this attractive would be into you, even if you were the only woman in the universe. It just adds to your suspicions that hormones are driving everyone crazy. Perhaps if you slept with him once, he’d lose all interest. 

He finds the form and then turns his gaze up to you, staring you down with those eyes. It’s a good thing that Taehyung rarely turns his full gaze on you, because it is almost too much to bear. Shit, is he just going to sign it? Is he waiting for you to give him some sort of signal?

“You can’t do this to Jimin,” he says.

“What?” Not what you were expecting. “Do what to Jimin?”

“This.” He gestures over the HR form. “Signing these forms with everyone. Having sex with everyone. You’re going to destroy Jimin.”

“Jimin’s the one who suggested this whole thing in the first place.” It’s a lie. You know its a lie. Or at least a gross exaggeration. But Jimin was the one who first brought up the idea of sharing. All for the benefit of the man in front of you now. 

“No way.” Taehyung scoffs, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. “No way was it Jimin’s idea that you sleep with the whole crew.” 

“Well…” You can’t bear his gaze anymore and look down at the floor. “He wanted me to sleep with you.”

That surprises Taehyung. He puts down the tablet. “What? Why would he want that?”

This is awkward. “He, um, thinks you’re in love with me.”

“What?” There is only surprise on Taehyung’s face. It’s actually a relief to see that Taehyung is just as shocked by that idea as you were. “Why does he think that?”

“I don’t know…” You feel kind of dumb now. Of course, Taehyung doesn’t feel that way about you. Look at him. “Cause you told him you were jealous. Cause you can’t stand to be in the same room as us…”

Taehyung bites his lip. “Oh, um, shit, sorry, that’s not what I meant.”

If Taehyung isn’t jealous of Jimin... 

“Taehyung…” He looks up, biting his lip. “What did you mean? Who are you jealous of?” 

Taehyung’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead he reaches for his microphone and mutes it. Out of respect, you mute yours as well. He glances toward the camera in the corner of the room, then stands up and begins unzipping his jumpsuit. 

“Um…” You are distracted by the golden arms that peak from either side of the tank top as the zipper reaches his groin. “What are you doing?”

“Need something to block the camera.”

“We have towels,” you mutter.  But he’s already stripping out of his shirt. The musculature of his back ripples. He hangs the shirt off of the camera to block the rest of the room from view. 

“Yeah, but this way anyone watching will think we’re having sex.” His chest is just as attractive as his back and you flush at the sight of it. Mercifully, he zips back into his jumpsuit as he returns to his position in front of the exercise machine. 

“You want them to think we’re having sex?”

“Don’t you? It plays right into your whole save the mission with bonobo sex plan.”

“I suppose.” Though the plan was also supposed to be that there would be no more secrets between the crew. “What plan of yours does it play into?”

“The one where Jimin doesn’t realize I’m in love with him.”

“You’ve never tried to tell him?”

Taehyung laughs wryly and shakes his head. “How would that conversation go? Hey man, I know we’ve known each other for years and I’ve already seen you naked and that you just think of me as a friend, but I’m in love with you. I know that’s awkward but now you have to spend the next twelve years with me, knowing that I’m attracted to you when you don’t feel the same way.” Taehyung sighs. “Doesn’t sound like a good plan to me. If he doesn’t feel the same way, I’ve just ruined the friendship for nothing and then I don’t even have that.”

“Yeah… I get that.”  There’s something touching about realizing that Taehyung has been fighting the same battle as you for the last two years. 

“I couldn’t tell anyone before launch because what if they wouldn’t let me go then? You know?”

“Yeah, the director wasn’t big on sending anyone who might ‘complicate’ the mission.” The two of you share a sad knowing smile. 

“Yeah… And I thought it would be fine, you know? I like women too. I’d just date women until launch and no one would know. I wasn’t planning on falling in love with my roommate.”

“I don’t think any of us really knew what this would be like.”

“I knew it was going to be a problem. I should have pulled out…” 

Your mind flashes back to that moment of doubt when Hoseok talked you into still coming on the mission.

“But I couldn’t just let him go off into space without me. Even if he’d never feel the same way, at least he’d still be in my life.”

The emotion in Taehyung’s words makes your eyes begin to mist. “You really do love him.”

“Yeah,” Taehyung sighs again. “But he’s in love with you.”

“Well, he thinks he is.”

“What does that mean?”

“He only feels like that about me cause he thinks I’m the only option.”  You wonder if maybe he would feel differently if he knew about Taehyung’s feelings. 

Taehyung frowns and shakes his head. “You don’t give him enough credit.”

“Oh come on, you know him. How many women did he date while we were in training?”

“A few…” 

“And how many of them was he in love with before he found the next one?”  

Taehyung bites his lip. He can’t really argue with that. “So why are you with him then, if you don’t think it’s real?”

You shrug, rubbing your arm. “He wants me. It’s nice to feel wanted, I guess.”

“You know you could have that with any man on this ship right?”

You scoff. “They’re all suffering the same delusion. It’s only-available-vagina syndrome. I just want us all to fuck and get it out in the open. Maybe if we could get it out of our system, they would see I’m nothing special. And then we can get back to the mission.”

Taehyung eyes you up and down. “You don’t give yourself enough credit either.”

You shrug. “You wait and see. Jimin will get bored of me. They all will.”

The two of you both slump backwards in your seats, mulling over your shared woes.  Taehyung bends down and picks up the tablet again. “So what should I do with this?”

“Obivously, you don’t have to sign it. I should have realized that not everyone would be interested.”

“Jimin thinks I’m in love with you?”

“Yeah…”

“Is it okay if we let him think that for now? At least until I figure out how to tell him the truth?”

“Okay.”

Taehyung smiles and signs the bottom of the form, then sends it to you. Your phone lights up with a message. “Thank you,” he murmurs before he leaves. 

[hellas-himself]

Crack Ship Holidays

Christmas Pt. 1 (i guess lol)

Okay. So I know we’ve had at least 3 holidays since the last time I posted this but whatever. have some hella late christmas nonsense. It’ll be feyre’s bday, christmas and then new years. Reyes, Valentine’s day and then Cassian’s birthday which I will always write to be in the summer will go together in one until Sarah gives us his actual birthday. 

This ship is so stupid and I live for it. shout out to @bookloveaffair @crackedship for indulging me 

.

.

.

I smile when I see Cassian step into the gym with Az and Elain. Iliana comes running over to me and I welcome her with open arms.

“I saw your painting out front,” Lia says with a smile. “I know your signature. It’s very pretty.”

“Thank you,” I say and let her go. I greet Elain and Az with hugs and kisses. “Thank you guys for being here… I haven’t done anything like this in a long time.”

Elain playfully hits my arm.

“As if I would miss your first art show in school?”

Cassian comes to stand beside me and slides and arm around my shoulder. He presses a kiss to my temple.

“Hey, handsome.”

“You did good, bunny,” he says as he looks around the gym. With the help of my students, we set the display tables in a way to allow everyone to walk freely as well as make room for Aelin’s stage. It’s nothing more than a raised platform in the center of the room that Evangeline and I helped to decorate. She’s already there, getting her students ready. The home ec teacher has a cookie and hot chocolate station in one corner and there are arts and crafts and other things some of the parents have organized together to keep the kids busy as the parents walked around.

“There is a little contest between each grade. It wasn’t my idea but the parents apparently do this every year. Each kid who entered the art show get something regardless but the winner of each grade gets some kind of prize.”

“I wish I had known,” Cassian says playfully. I pinch his side.

After encouraging the others to look around, I make the rounds, greeting my students and their families. I refuse to vote for the contest- it isn’t hard to sing praises of these kids and their work. Aelin has her kids playing Christmas carols with their instruments while the small chorus group sings.

Evangeline stands blushing beside her oil painting of snow-capped mountains. Rowan and Elide are taking pictures of her while Lysandra and Aedion look on proudly. I catch Lorcan casting his vote for her and when he sees me, he just shrugs.

I get asked about an after-school program, if I tutor, if I take commissions. It’s slightly overwhelming but I still accept the phone numbers and business cards from the parents. I don’t need him to turn around to know that Tamlin is standing with Briar at the snack table. She’s chatting with one of the aids, wearing a matching ugly sweater with him. I’m surprised that he would be here, that he would even leave his house like that. Maybe he is capable of giving a shit, but it doesn’t matter. I see Cassian talking to one of my kindergarteners, praising their artwork with the same enthusiasm that he praises mine.

“Hi, Miss A,” Tessa says and Cassian looks up from where he’s kneeling. He smiles at me in such a way that I wish I could just kiss him in front of everyone here. But Tessa’s mom brings me from my thoughts as she thanks me and now Cassian for encouraging Tessa who was ‘not herself’ after her father left. Cassian graciously distracts Tessa while her mother and I talk quietly.

The principal calls everyone to dance and I am surprised to see Aelin at the piano. Only her older kids are playing instruments now and when she starts to sing, I want to cry. I knew she played the piano and the guitar, I’ve watched a few videos of her with a cello but she had never told me that she could sing. Cassian and I dance, Azriel and Rowan taking turns dancing with me. Elain and I dance while Cassian brings Iliana to get hot chocolate and cookies.

“I can’t believe he’s here,” she mumbles. I shrug.

“As long as he doesn’t talk to me, I really don’t care what he’s doing.”

“If he even speaks one word…”

I kiss my sister on the cheek and she sighs.

“You’ve done so good,” she says and gives me a smile. “I’m really proud of you Feyre.”

I don’t know what to say and blush, making her laugh.

The principal announces the winners of the art show while Aelin plays songs from A Charlie Brown Christmas. Goodie bags are passed around by volunteers dressed like elves and until I see his eyes, I had no idea that Aedion had disappeared to change into a santa suit to hand out presents to the kids- definitely Aelin’s work.

As the families and children leave, the school staff stay behind to clean up and talk. The principal hands out the bonuses and I’m surprised to receive one. Aelin insists we all take pictures by the tree and I try not to laugh at the sight of my sister standing between Cassian and Tamlin who are waiting for Briar and I to finish with the staff picture. Rowan throws an arm around Cassian’s shoulder and the two whisper to one another. Az has Iliana on his back and once we’re done, I make my way to them. I kiss my sleepy niece goodbye before saying my goodbyes to the others.

*

“Are you okay, bunny?”

I look up from my laptop to find Cassian walking into the bedroom.

“Mhm.”

“Work?” He looks at my laptop and I shake my head.

“No, just saving the pictures Aelin sent me. They’re cute.”

He joins me in bed and I turn the screen so he can see.

“I love you in the dress.”

I blush as I roll my eyes.

“Thank you,” I say and close the laptop. “And thank you for being there.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it for anything.”

I set the laptop on the night table and he pulls me into his arms.

“I love you,” I say to him and he smiles. I know he worries about what seeing Tamlin might do to me, he doesn’t have to say it. “If someone would have told me last Christmas that I’d be here with you like this… I wouldn’t have believed it.”

“No?”

“I wasn’t exactly the picture of hope.”

Cassian chuckles and kisses me.

“No… You weren’t.”

“But you were. You were and I made it through all of that because of you.”

“Bunny… You made it through all of that because of you and the work you put in.”

“Which I wouldn’t have done if you didn’t make me feel alive…”

“So it wasn’t just the mind blowing sex that did that?” he says playfully but I can tell he’s surprised.

“No… You did that way before I looked at you and wanted to rock your world.”

He smiles and I kiss him.

“And when did that happen?” he asks.

“Way before New Year’s Eve.”

“Really?”

“We went dancing for my birthday, remember?”

“Yeah, you wore that little red dress-”

“You remember?” I ask suddenly.

He scoffs as if the answer was obvious.

“We danced all night and even before we got shit faced you were being way more flirtatious than usual.” I could vividly remember the slow and steady way he grew more comfortable letting his hands roam while we danced. Almost everything he said that night had a double meaning, and I had been all too happy to indulge his flirting and flirt right back. I had finally felt something other than emptiness.

“It couldn’t be helped,” he says and kisses me. “You were so happy and that dress was just… Do you still have it?”

I snort. “Maybe… Why? Want me to put it on?”

I love the way he blushes at my tone. I kiss him and run my fingers through his hair.

“I love you, Cassian.”

“I love you, too, bunny.”

*

My phone is ringing and I can’t find it as I search for it blindly. I have to open my eyes and sit up. I find it at the foot of the bed, under my pajamas. With a groan, I go to answer it. I am surprised to see Nesta’s name on the screen but then I remember what day it is. I put her on speaker as I get dressed.

“Feyre?”

“Nesta.”

“Happy birthday,” she says and I sigh.

“Thanks.”

“Did I wake you up?”

I almost say yes, but Cassian had woken up me before he went to work and left the house late thanks to his idea of ‘wishing me a happy birthday’. I snort and pretend to cough.

“No.”

Silence. I go to the bathroom to wash up and I can hear her walking around.

“Elain said she’s taking you to breakfast.”

“Yeah, she is.”

“Did she tell you I was coming?”

“She mentioned something like that.”

Nesta sighs. “Do you think I can pick you up?”

I want to tell her that I was driving myself to meet Elain and Iliana but I recognize the hesitance in her voice.

“I have to let Val out first though.”

“Great! That gives me time to finish up.”

An hour later, I am locking the front door of the house. Nesta is parked outside, nervously tapping her fingers against the steering wheel. When I make it halfway down the driveway, Nesta gets out of the car and opens the passenger side door. She’s dressed casually for once- blue jeans and boots instead of a dress suit and heels. Her hair is down, too, straight where mine is wavy.

“Happy birthday,” she says again and gives me a tentative hug.

“Thanks, Nes.”

“Coffee?” she asks and I nod.

She drives us to the nearest Starbucks and insists I find us a seat while she orders. I answer texts while I wait, most of them from Rhysand and Elain. Aelin and Rowan sent me a ridiculous snapchat video and Lucien wrote me a long, heart felt message on an Instagram post with a bunch of pictures of us throughout the last year- except of course, one of them is of us as kids. I always hated my birthday, my parents had never really given it much importance. It was so close to Christmas and I had to wait the extra week or so to get a present. Never a party. Never anything more than a forced ‘happy birthday’. But Adela and Vinny… Those two threw me a birthday party every year until we were old enough to host our own. I remember the first year when we all met, I had not mentioned my birthday out of habit but Rhysand had told his mother and on Christmas Eve, they picked me up and took me to their house to celebrate. I still had the doll they’d bought me, tucked safely in a box in the attic.

“I don’t know you to drink anything else but this,” Nesta says and I look away from the Adela’s text to find my sister setting an iced caramel coffee before me.

“Perfect.”

Even better, she brought me cake pops. Nesta doesn’t touch her latte and instead is watching me tear into the cake pops as if I hadn’t eaten breakfast.

“Elain told me that Tamlin was at your work event,” she begins. “Are you okay? Did he say anything to you?”

With food in my mouth, I just shake my head. She waits for me to finish, to drink from my coffee.

“He kept his distance.”

She sighs.

“I feel… I should have been there.”

“His girlfriend works there, Nesta. I can’t exactly tell him to leave without reason.”

“He hurt you, that’s reason enough.”

“It’s fine. Elain was with me and you know Az and Cassian would never let him near me.”

“I know but… If I hadn’t upset you, I would have been there and I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry. I had no right to speak to you that way. I didn’t give you a reason to feel comfortable telling me about Cassian or your job or anything.”

I feel my face getting warm and I take a long sip of my coffee.

“I know your birthday is terrible timing for this but I didn’t know when else you’d be okay with talking to me… I haven’t been the greatest sister. I’ve been… awful.”

“You don’t have to wait for birthdays or anything to talk to me,” I say, finding it really hard to meet her eyes. I’m used to angry, irritated Nesta. Not… this. “You know I can’t be mad at you forever.”

“And that’s the thing… You’re too forgiving Feyre.”

I laugh and roll my eyes.

“Only you would complain about that.”

“I’m not complaining… I just mean that I don’t want anyone taking advantage of that.”

“Cassian isn’t going to do that.”

“I know he isn’t.”

When I raise a brow, she sighs.

“Just because you’re another year older doesn’t mean you stop being my baby sister.”

“Even if I wanted you to kill him, you can’t go to prison, Nesta.”

She laughs. “Shut up, Feyre.”

“I think I understand,” I say which seems to surprise her. I push the other cake pop to her. “I know you have one in your bag, but have this one.”

“A peace offering?” she asks.

“More or less. But if you really want to make it up to me, buy me drinks at the club tonight.”

Nesta grimaces at this and I laugh.

“I’m kidding.”

“No, it’s not that. I can’t say anything,” she says and looks at her watch. “We should go. Elain is almost there.”

*

“We’re going where?” I ask, looking at my stupidly handsome boyfriend who I want to strangle. “I look like you just picked me up off the corner!”

Cassian laughs at this and when I smack his arm he laughs even more.

“You look beautiful. Though I have to admit, this is going to be torture for me.”

“Torture? You’re not the one who has to worry about their ass hanging out of their dress in front of their boyfriend’s parents!”

I’d found the dress I wore for my birthday last year. I put it on thinking we were going dancing, not having dinner with his family at some fancy ass restaurant.

“Bunny, it’ll be fine. I swear.”

I groan and Cas puts his hand over my thigh.

“We can turn around.”

“No… Just. I’ll survive.”

Everyone is dolled up when we arrive, even Nesta is there.

“Now I know why she wouldn’t buy me drinks,” I mutter and Cassian laughs.

He kisses my cheek before letting my hand go as our friends and family come to greet us. I don’t feel too bad about my dress once I see the way Elain and Mor are dressed- even Aelin in her gold romper covered in sequins. Adela and Vinny are just as affectionate as always and I have to laugh when she hands me my present before I even sit down. I sit between Cassian and Rhys- both men encouraging me to open the small box as if it were for them. Children, really.

The waiter takes our drink orders and only then do I open the present- It’s a necklace, much like the one Elain has, but instead of a blue stone, it’s red. Cassian happily puts it on me before I go and thank his parents.

Conversation is easy going and I’m surprised that Nesta has lasted this long around us. She seems… content. I eat just as much as Cassian does, and by the time my cake is carried to the table, I don’t know how the hell I’m going to eat that, too. It’s a gorgeous cake, designed to look like a mash up of Van Gogh, Dali and Degas. And the inside- it’s the mojadito cake that Adela always made for us.

I get more presents; books from Aelin and Rowan, a sketchbook with my favorite pencils from Elain and Az, a pair of heels from Mor. Iliana made me a birthday card and got me a mug that says ‘not paint water’. Then there is the set of crazy expensive markers from Rhys and Lucien and a black pajama set from Amren that I did not show everyone because once I saw the label, I knew just what kind of set it was. She gave me a devil’s smile. Cassian gets up from his chair and walks over to Adela who hands him a very large box from somewhere under the table.

“Happy birthday, bunny,” he says as he sits down with it. The table is cleared to make room for the damn thing and I stand up to unwrap it. And it’s a fucking tablet. For digital art.

“Cas…”

He shrugs as if this is no big deal. I throw my arms around him and cover his face in kisses which leaves him laughing. I smack his arm.

“I can’t believe you!”

“Do you like it?”

“Are you kidding! I’m already thinking of all the things I’m going to make with it.”

Cassian smiles and kisses me properly.

*

When I turn away from the newly lit candles, Cassian is standing at the entry way of the living room, rolling up the sleeves to his shirt. He has a knowing smirk on his face and I can’t help but smile.

“Music… candles… that dress. If I didn’t know any better, I would say it’s my birthday,” he says to me and I laugh.

“Well, this is my birthday and I want what I didn’t get last year.”

“And what is that?”

I walk towards him, having to look up now that I am without heels. I place my hands on his chest and undo some of the buttons of his shirt.

“I want to dance with my best friend,” I begin and run my hands down his chest and stomach before reaching for his hands. I place them on my waist.

“That’s all?” he whispers and I find myself blushing.

“No,” I reply and he raises a brow. “I don’t have to pretend I don’t feel anything for you. I get to show you just how much I want you.” I kiss him. “How much I love you.” I kiss him again.

[grapefruitguan-blog]

Fight!AU (Park Woojin)

- woojin was preparing for his comeback

- and they were asking a lot of time from him

- so he was coming home rlly late and leaving rlly early in the morning

- and you were supportive n he was really appreciative

- but it happened for about two weeks

- two weeks of you making dinner and watching it get cold and waking up to him and a quick kiss saying he loves you but he’s gotta go

- but you had ur last straw when he didn’t even come home on your birthday

- he actually forgot

- this time you didn’t fall asleep

- bc woojin promised to spend the day with you

- you were actually heartbroken

- he came back at 1:30 am rlly surprised you were up

- he had a terrible day daniel n the others couldn’t get the choreo down and the producer blamed him

- “babe? shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

- you didn’t answer him

- and had a small bitter smile

- “yeah. i should be. i shouldn’t have waited for you.”

- now woojin never ever snaps

- but today he was in the worst mood

- ever

- “jeez, what’s with you today?”

- and now you snapped

- “woojin, you should know what’s up with me today i’ve waited for you for now two weeks every single fucking day”

- “babe i know i’m sorry it’s just they’ve wanted a lot out of us-“

- “yeah. you want a lot of of me to wait for you. i know that. what do you think i have done?”

- “y/n i know it’s just the fans-“

- “it’s always the fans woojin, always.”

- “because they care about us. we just won at mama i don’t want to lose that streak. why can’t you understand that?”

- “woojin. i’ve been the most fucking understanding of that. i didn’t question you for shit about scandals when i sure could’ve and i always helped you when you felt stressed-“

- “people care about us, y/n. we have fans. they’re there for us.”

- oh god woojin really fucked it up now

- a small silence occurred when woojin’s eyes widened with what he said

- “babe-“

- “save it woojin.”

- “no i didn’t mean-“

- “no, i get it. i don’t have fans because i’m not an idol, so i wouldn’t get it. people care about you and the boys and not really about me. hell, they want me gone since i’m dating their bias. go date fucking lisa from blackpink or something, then!”

- “no that isn’t-“

- “save it. i’m leaving. maybe you’ll someday realize why i’m so fucking pissed after waiting for you for so damn long.”

- you walk out and slam the door

- “fine be that way!” yelled woojin

- he went to your guys’ now empty bed angry as hell

- he almost threw the picture of you two on the ground but hesitated

- you drove over to your bff’s house and slept for the night

- in the morning woojin went to practice

- and he was on snapchat

- and noticed your streak had an hourglass

- he sent you a black screen and you instantly left him on open

- he groaned

- and rolled his eyes

- and he was viewing his stories and saw daehwi’s

- it was a selfie

- “happy late birthday y/n!!!”

- woojin dropped

- wait

- it was your birthday yesterday???

- holy fuck he promised to spend the day with you

- he didn’t even get you an xmas gift cause you said that’s all you wanted

- holy fuck

- he stormed into practice

- “daehwi!!!!”

- daehwi was eating a croissant

- “woojin!!! you almost made me drop my croissant!!!”

- “dumbass bitch!!! why didn’t you tell me it was my gf’s birthday yesterday!!!!!”

- “woojin sweetie you were supposed to know this”

- “i remembered!” piped daniel holding his story too

- “shut up mr center i hope your cats die”

- “heY”

- jisung aka mom runs over

- “dUmbAsS KIDS STOP FIGHTING”

- daehwi rubbed his temples

- “y/n is soooo mad at you woojin”

- “she’s so supportive of your snaggletooth headass and you don’t see that”

- “hIs EYES ARE TOO SMALL TO SEE THAT”

- “shUT UP ONG NOBODY CARES MR I’M-28-TRYING-TO-DEBUT”

- “shUT UP YOU MAKNAE I WAS Y/N’S BIAS NOT YOURS”

- jisung blows the whistle n stops ong and woojin from fighting

- “DuMBASS WOOJIN for foRGETTING Y/N’s BDAY I’M NOT MAKING YOU FUCKIN RAMEN FOR A MONTH”

- jisung sighed

- “y/n rlly never let you see her frustrated bc you’d come home late as hell n she would always rant to me and daehwi about it and she went to (bff)’s house all night and cried”

- “how was i supposed to know!!!”

- “duMBASS biTCH I am Her SECOND COUSIN and you arE HER bOyfrieND anD I COULD TELL SHE WAS UNhAPPY BUT you COULDN’T????”

- “he has a point snaggletooth headass”

- “shut up four foot chode nobody cares sungwoon”

- “LISTEN BO-“

- “gUys shUT UP” yelled jisung

- “woojin go make up with her your dumbass fucKED UP”

- “big time!” chorused daniel holding his two cats

- woojin facepalmed

- “guys what the hell do i do i rlly did fuck up i was just so caught up on the choreo-“

- “dumbass dance machine”

- “shUT UP CAT PEDOPHILE I’M HAVING A FUCKING MOMENT”

- jisung blows his mom whistle again

- “gUYS ENOUGH FIGHTING”

- “luckily bc i’m so old and wise i have a damn plan”

- so all 11 boys shut up and crowd around

- “here’s what we are finna do bitches”

- “jisung sweetie pls don’t say finna it’s improper”

- “sorry minhyun”

- you’re at your bff’s house

- you were throwing dart’s at a pic of woojin

- until she knocks on ur door

- “hey y/n someone’s here to see you”

- “if it’s woojin i swear to-“

- “oH HI DAEHWI”

- “HI BESTIE IM HERE BITCH I GOT YOU STUFF FOR YOUR BDAY”

- “aw THANKS BITCH I SAW YOUR STORY”

- “yeAh SORRY BITCH I WAS AT PRACTICE AKDJKSD I PROMISE WE CAN EAT CHICKEN N WAFFLES SOON THO”

- “david lee ur so white”

- “i was born in LA headass”

- daehwi hands you a wrapped gift

- you coo

- “YOU REALLY ARE MY BESTIE”

- bff walks in

- “wtf y/n who’s house are you in”

- “lOVE YOU TOO (BFF’s NAME)”

- daehwi clears throat

- “anyways so”

- “get dressed”

- “we’re hanging out”

- “stop simping over the snaggletooth headass”

- “i wAS NO-“

- “bitch shut up ur listening to butterfly and spring day by bts and you’re really telling me you aren’t simping????”

- ok daehwi got you there

- so you kicked him outta ur friend’s room

- and you get dressed

- no details bc this isn’t smut

- yET

- hAHAHAHA

- anyways after twenty minutes you step out

- daehwi huffs

- “see this hair? i didn’t dye it white. it turned white waiting for your slowpoke ass”

- “shut up daehwi last time i checked i waited for you for two hours when you bumped into iu”

- “iU nOONA IS mOre IMPoRTANT”

- anyways

- daehwi flashes his signature grin

- “oK go to the living room”

- “daehwi i thought we were going out??”

- “yes going out of the room duh”

- “yOU lITTLE SHIT YOU MADE ME PUT MAKEUP FOR NOTHING WHEN IM STAYING INSIDE???”

- “y/n if you think i have money to treat you out for a day you really must be tripping”

- “daehwi stfu you deadass have tons of money after debuting don’t play with me”

- daehwi shoves you into the room anyways

- and your jaws drop

- and there you see the living room decorated

- with your favorite foods on the coffee table

- and presents

- and a chocolate cake

- and the other boys there

- besides woojin

- so daniel’s cats could be at ur bday and not your boyfriend? ok

- “HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N”

- “we’re really sorry we couldn’t celebrate with you on your actual birthday so we tried to make up for it” smiles jisung

- you almost broke down in tears

- because THAT IS SO SWEET

- “aw thanks guys i love you so much”

- “even if woojin hates me enough to not even want to celebrate my bday LOL it’s okay.”

- guanlin awkwardly coughed

- “uh look behind you”

- lo and behold

- park woojin is behind you holding 10 bouquets of red roses

- bby boy is almost falling bc he carried all of them

- you’re kind of taken aback

- because who wouldn’t be??

- “i’m sorry that i couldn’t wish you happy birthday with them i had to run to like five florists cause turns out everyone ran out of red roses”

- he hands you one bouquet and other boys scramble to help him

- “i’m really sorry that i fucked up and forgot that it was your birthday it was honestly such a dick move of me-“

- “HE ALSO CALLED ME A FOUR FOOT CHODE”

- “shUT UP SUNGWOON”

- “and i really took you for granted and i feel terrible because i need to remember that they’re fans, and though i’m in their hearts..you’re in mine. i’m scared of losing you because you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and i promise i never ever forgot about that”

- “and like roses are what i gave you on our first date and i know they can’t do too much to make you forgive me but i remembered you love them and you honestly deserve the world”

- and woojin has tears in his eyes and takes one hand and tries to wipe his tears and now he’s blubbering

- “i totally understand if you hate me and wanna break up i support your decision either way i’m so so sorry for being such a dick-“

- SEEING WOOJIN BAWL WAS TOO MUCH SO YOU JUST KISSED HIM

- he was shocked at first but he leaned down just a little bit

- “idiot i forgive you”

- “w-wait really”

- “BITCH YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO REJECT HIM”

- “shUT UP DAEHWI”

- “nO YOU SHUT YOU COYOTE LOOKING ASS I BET $10.00 ON THIS WITH ONG”

- before woojin went to go fight daehwi you laughed

- and he looked at you with a small smile

- ft his little snaggletooth

- and daniel brings out the cake and they start singing

- BUT then woojin’s eyes shoot up

- “wAIT DONT START I FORGOT SOMETHING”

- he hands you the roses and grabs a little box out of his pocket

- “here open it”

- “woojin we’re too young to get married-“

- “nonONONO NOT THAT NOT THAT”

- he turns bright red

- “i-i mean not like i don’t wanna m-marry you i-it’s just”

- you open it

- it’s a promise ring!!! the one that you told woojin how pretty it was two months ago!!!!

- “woojin!!!! this is really expensive you know i was like kidding right!!!!”

- “well like you deserve the world so i’m trying to give it to you”

- “and like it’s my promise to you to never treat you less than perfect”

- “and that i promise to put you before my career”

- all the boys coo

- and daniel is huffing bc the cake is rlly heavy and he wants to goddamn sing already so he can set it down

- so you sing!

- and all is well!

- and woojin puts an arm around your waist and kisses your forehead

- “happy late birthday babe, i love you.”

[apocalypto12related]

Do all of them!

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?

Ye! Sammy! @deziac

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

Um... My family, probably, and no.

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

Kitty! I love kitties!

4: what’s something you really want right now?

an apartment. on a less serious side, um, glasses???

5: are you afraid of falling in love?

Nope! I already have and since we’re poly im sure i will again owo

6: do you like the beach?

so/so. depends on my mood.

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

um... a pull out sofa, does that count? i have a hard time sleeping unless i can fully lie down.

8: what’s the background on your cell?

my old phone was tony my new phone is space. not sure what it’ll be soon. >w>;; considering i need to redownload all the stuff i got off tumblr. :’( i lost all my snapchat stuff, but i moved all of izaya to my computer so that’s fine.

9: name the last four beds you were sat on?

what??? O_o; um... a homeless shelter’s bed and other than that they were all my own??? (not counting the “bed” made of sheets at the one place.)

10: do you like your phone?

i just got a new one!! uwu It has 32GB with it’s own internal storage and I have a 32GB sd card. nwn;; So I have a lot of space~! plus it has a fingerprint sensor and im in love with unlocking it like that owo

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?

prolly not, but when do they?

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

sammy! bc we both got new phhones!

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?

i heard poodles have bad temperaments!! idk about rottweilers!! whichever one is nicer??/

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

emotional!! physical heals!! short time span for pain! emotional might not go away!

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

DONt mmake me chosoelk??! i love both!!! i lovemy fluffy butts and i went to the met in new york!!! it was so cool!!! swords!! armor!! egypt!! aahhhh!!! i cant choose!!

16: are you tired?

im always tired!!!

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?

um... well it’s sammy

so uh, ten years in march owo (technically december was the first time we met!! but we count it as march since that’s when he started talking rly)

18: are they a relative?

no!!

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

it depends on if they changed their personality!! if not then no!! i mean i did get back with sammy but yknow we just count that as a break since we did actually get back together lmao

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

this morning!! she is at work so she’s not too talkative rn!

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

we’re fine with what we’re at!! i don’t need to marry her to make it ‘official’!! we’ve lasted almost 9 years and through some big hardships!! both of us unmedicated and dealing with new medication changes, so i think we’re fine!!

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

of course!! :P

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

two!! my blue sylveon bracelet (i love sylveon, i would wear umbreon but i think i packed it!!!) and my pride rainbow bracelet! i took them off when we were looking for a shelter bc i was scared we’d get denied if they saw obvious gay signs :(

24: is there a certain quote you live by?

not directly!! something along the lines of that there is no set path in life you have to choose which ways you want to twist and turn and they’ll lead you onto new and bigger things.

25: what’s on your mind?

music! stuff for my phone! i have a lot of stuff i need to add to eeet!! it’s only a day oolllddd.

26: do you have any tattoos?

yes! it’s for my kitty who passed away! Her name was luna. I’m sure i’ve posted a picture somewhere.

27: what is your favorite color?

#00C5FF

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

prolly tonight. owo

29: who are you texting?

Sammy owo

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

probably?? lol what.

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

YES ACTUALLY D: idk if it happened any other time, but when we got into the car accident when I told our one friend we were joking about her coming up and hanging with us all my brain said was ‘You shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have done that.’ and again when we went out to the car and it was pretty heavy snow fall. I was like ‘I shouldn’t go.’ my problem with that one was I didn’t want to go, but I didn’t think ‘we shouldn’t go’. but... what can you do now?

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

um. i don’t think i have a super close opposite sex friend. closest would probably be @h0bsyrup

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?

I’m sure Sammy does. >w> I’m not sure otherwise. My followers don’t tell me that stuff.

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Yes omg. Sammy was staring me in the eyes the other day and was like ‘your eyes are pretty’ and i’m like ‘omfg shut up >//

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

if they’re not dating then she’s gonna punch their lights out, so i don’t have to worry.

36: were you single on valentines day?

November 24th, 2008 is when I started dating Sammy. You tell me.

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?

... of course?? wtf is with these kiss questions.

38: what do your friends call you?

Kiki :D

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?

lil bit.

40: have you ever cried over a text?

Um... probably. I can’t remember.

41: where’s your last bruise located?

omg... um i guess undermy belly button is the latest bruise??? i have a lot atm from surgery and being motionless for four days!!

42: what is it from?

Sammy actually like harshly pushed on that area. like when you go to land somewhere with your full weight then you go ‘oh fuck’ yeah.

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

um... recently??? but i guess not as bad as with my mom.

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?

Sammy owo

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

Nah.

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

No.my hair style is like 99% bun.

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?

i dont follow trends i set them.

48: do you make supper for your family?

not recently but i would for sammy and i usually

49: does your bedroom have a door?

i don’t have a “bedroom” atm e.e

50: top 3 web-pages?

tambo.c0m (tumblr), archiveofourown.org (ao3), youtube.com (the three i use the most anyway)

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Sammy. xD at least food shopping.

52: does anything on your body hurt?

Abdomen. (:

53: are goodbyes hard for you?

it depends. if it’s unnecessary then prolly. if they’ve fucked me over idc. (i.e. my family trying to replace my mom’s abusiveness, fuck them.)

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

prolly water owo

55: how is your hair?

it’s feeling fine, thank you for asking!

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?

it depends! if it’s my “morning” i wake up and usually bathroom.

57: do you think two people can last forever?

sure but it takes work. it’s not gonna be perfect 24/7 without communication or compromise.

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?

ye. omfg why would you give me nightmares. that’s when i started the rping side of myspce and met that douche wesley. his lying ass made me start self harming. fuck him.

59: green or purple grapes?

i don’t eat grapes .w.;;

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?

sometime in the future! prolly sammy!

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

in an apartment. >w> or at the pompeii exhibit!!!

62: when will be the next time you text someone?

possibly today

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?

lying in bed. :D

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.

struggling to be alive. (eating chocolate chip muffins)

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?

oh god. w8 no. i didn’t like anyone yet. that started like october or shit. ugh my ex. he became an ass. (aside from sammy obvs)

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

sammy!!

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?

um... i don’t think so. i think we were both too tired and stressed. we didn’t get into bed until like 1 and the shelter has us be out of beds by 8:30 x3x;

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

um... ‘i should go back to sleep’ after waking up a third time and distracting myself with the phone

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

yeah,but at least i tried.

70: how many windows are open on your computer?

it’s not *my* computer, so it doesn’t count! ;D (8 but im downloading music stfu)

71: how many fingers do you have?

i have 10. my one pinky counts as a half finger sometimes though. i broke it and bc i didnt have insurance i never went to a doctor to get it fully take care of so it healed up all wrong.

72: what is your ringtone?

default at the moment!

73: how old will you be in 5 months?

oh fuck i’ll be 24. man if you asked me that back in june i’d be like ‘still 23 (;’ but no. my bday is december

74: where is your mum right now?

She passed away. :/

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

I realize that as much as I wanted to believe it was love, it never fully blossomed into that until I was with Sammy. I don’t think I’ve truly ever gotten to love anyone else, but that’s okay.

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

of course owo sammy and i are hella gay don’t u know.

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

i believe so owo we just don’t talk as much bc im a lazy sack of shit.

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

fuck. i think i had a minor crush on some dude who also liked green day but never fuckin talked to me so i never bothered. that might’ve also technically been when i started liking wesley. does billie joe from green day count?

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?

personally? uh.... i’m not totally sure o-o; fuck me man.

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

probably wait yes. sammy. spooning is our fave position.

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?

e.e no one that wasn’t a celebrity. 

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

no bc shelter e.e

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?

:P i talk to them everyday.

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

i wouldn’t get drunk! i wouldn’t scream at ppl! that’s rude! ppl usually can’t even hear you when you yell at the window! we hear ‘whoosh’ with your voice in the middle’

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?

i would be concerned since she’s said she doesn’t like them!!

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

um... oh! a conversation started and a lil girl asked if we were in a certain theatre and I said ‘no we were in theatre blah’ so I asked what they went and saw. She said “Wonder Woman” “hey we just came out of that, too!” :P

87: who was your last received call from?

.3.; sammy

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

i-i’m torn??? i needm oney but poor butter-san... ;____;

89: what is something you wish you had more of?

money. clothes maybe

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?

yeah. lmao.

91: do you sleep with your window open?

i usually do! esp in the winter/summer! need air and love cold!

92: do you get along with girls?

ye!

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

no. owo

94: does sex mean love?

no! sex is something that can bring someone closer, but it is not necessary for a relationship! 

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

>3>;;; again, no.

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

owo; indirectly. i shared a drink with someone who had one. xD

97: did you sleep alone this week?

not this week! :D last week. ;~; at the hospital.

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

yes. >3>

99: do you believe in love at first sight?

no!!! that’s not love!! you might end up loving them but you can’t love someone unless you know them!! :c otherwise it’ll lead to some bad decisions!! D:

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?

OwO Sammy I think.