#this was very hard a lot of ethical considerations here

[lightning-kachow]

Play FMK with Mads, Reza, and Paulette lol

[nanakah]

hello hello, I took the alien stage pill. howdy fellow sufferers

Honestly, my first reaction to basically everything was "awww, they come in sets and are all without exception horribly doomed no matter their specs (loops cool music and vids)"

I'd seen some of VIVINOS' team works without realizing it was the same artist (my favorites being Beloved and Otomeroid) so it was rather shocking to learn of a "series" with a fandom as active/relatively large as Alien Stage without ever actually stumbling upon it before...

Anyways. I like the concept, and Hyuna+Luka in particular, a whole lot. In spite of all the jokes about only yuri and yaoi losing, my spider sense says they'll get their turn of crashing horribly soon and I wanna stay here to witness it burn beautifully, of course.

TL;DR OMG HYULUKA IS SO DELICIOUS

general yapping about all alien stage duos under the cut and some Hyuna/Luka considerations and theories

disclaimer: long, chaotic post ahead - i wrote most of it during revenge bedtime procrastination so I'm kinda just rambling/discussing my general impressions and vibes here instead of formatting it nicely or properly illustrating my points. good luck if you choose to stick around and make yourself comfy

alien stage impressions under read more - also SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

funny thing - I got into alien stage completely by chance after checking out some related vids to my Love and Deepspace twitter spree and avoiding my responsibilities. Ivan's Black Sorrow made a very strong impression and I loved his eyes, so I kept going deeper down the rabbit role and felt fascinated by the web of dynamics between the characters each time I took in a little more of the plot.

(His eyes are so cool and expressive.....I was already loving everything prior and was excited to continue, but Ivan was definitely the one to sell me on the concept more strongly and eat up the rest.)

It was interesting seeing "love" portrayed under such dire conditions and I kept wondering how come the aliens are so stupid they chose a 1vs1 PVP combat format with their beloved pets instead of the optimal formation of idol units and at least duos versus each other to utilize their feelings of love. Why would they do that?

That first innocent musing made me realize how clever the team behind ALNST is. The whole thing seems to be operating as a metaphor/commentary about how predatory the real idol industry is (the concept of anakt garden really sounds like the average idol trainee camp experience and the bonds they form with their group mates) and how heartless guardian (parental) figures can be in a society that is heavily utilitarian and barely gives agency to either their own children or sentient beings like animals that we keep as pets.

So in that world, the sacrifices of being an idol are literal and humans themselves are "pets" - with all the implications that come with "being dependent on a species that does not properly comprehend them". At times, the way they refer to the fandom of each character even seems to be tongue in cheek as to how "we" too are watching the story for entertainment and making fanbases for each character and reacting like some of the in-universe alien fans.

Therefore, it's no brainer that the answer to my initial question was: aliens/Segyein don't understand how to utilize human bonds and emotions to their maximum efficiency in the first place. They know interaction between humans seems to be important and produces more beautiful songs. However, they probably experience those feelings differently and most of them are likely unable to truly empathize with human pain, ethics or feelings. (And believe me, even some people have a hard time believing other species benifit from socialization, so aliens being that way is understandable). Perhaps the awful acts of the Segyein mutilating their pet human is no different from pulling a butterfly's wings to a human or injecting colored fluid into a flower. The glimpses of their buildings and tv show that they have the same sort of "do they have rights?" feelings and similar moral conflicts to what we have in the real world about species we don't understand fully.

I think it's really challenging to analyze a work attempting to guess future developments when you don't know the creator too well. In spite of looping OTOMEROID I wouldn't say I know VIVINOS and her team deeply as an admirer. But from the overall tone of the videos in her channel, I could pick up on a fascination with "extremes" of emotion and exploring the hypocrisy of society. Human/animal experimentation and materialism/religion/consumerism are topics that come up often. Love is also hardly ever portrayed as a simple or benevolent feeling alone - there's unrequited love, obsession, insanity, many facets of that feeling on the channel. Some works are more straightforward and focus on the visual presentation, others seem to have a deeper story behind it.

The technical quality of the Alien Stage MVs is extremely impressive, I had a blast looking at the patreon storyboards and feeling like "wow, a person actually made this". It seriously got me inspired to feel like drawing more to get out of my own artblock and to pick up on old OCs to show them some love. In the era of AI, this is a joy to get to feel. It all definitely feels like a well-put together labor of love. I'm super weak to things brimming with passion like this, it's contagious!!!!

Now that I've tried my best to make an eloquent opening and act like I'm not at all just a fangirl foaming at the mouth with this intense concept (I keep crying that I wanna see either Aka or Ohkawa try their hand at a death game scenario) and at the sight of a tragic toxic duo with a backstory of a deeply rooted mutual obsession/love and fall out (wiping drool out of the corner of my mouth as we speak), let's talk a little more about the story. In order to make sense out of my ramblings and projections, let me explain my thoughts on the other duos besides my bias first.

Mizi and Sua set the tone to their universe as well as serve as an explanation as to why "idols" work well to represent their conflict and struggle - I'm fresh out of Oshi no Ko here, so this feels equal parts like a comfort zone and everything but comfortable and hellish to go over again. But, to put it briefly, the adoration of someone as an entertainer that you want to support also overlaps with the word reserved for adoring "an image or representation of a god used as an object of worship" - idol.

Humans, stripped of their power and autonomy after arrogantly believing they were superior to everyone else and were the only beings in the vast universe, have been subjugated by other species. Because of the bleak, unforgiving circumstances they were faced with afterwards, the surviving ones were turned into luxury pets and stripped of their freedom. Free will made them children of God before, so people have forgotten all about the "God" who couldn't answer their prayers/save them. But, as Mizi says, the belief in God is innate to human nature. You are more likely live in this world successfuly if you have someone to look up to or a reason to survive.

When God seems so far away and so cruel...what they can do is look to each other as their "Gods". Because a belief in God is ultimately, a cry for salvation and acceptance...."The Bible makes it clear that “God is love” (1 John 4:8). He isn't just loving, but he is the very definition of love."Therefore, all characters are, in some way, looking for salvation and being constantly tested and brutally being forced to show off their humanity through the lens of how love affects them - and not at the privacy of their inner thoughts or anything. All of that in order to portray different aspects of "love", adoration and what it means to be human. To have a belief on the unseen - "what is essential is invisible to the eye".

IT'S ALIEN AMERICAN IDOL MEETS DANGANRONPA. WHOO.

(gOD I wish we could have gotten Luka vs Sua or vs Ivan in some way. That feels like it would be extremely close and entertaining to see. Am I losing my humanity? Why is my keyboard slimy? Am I becoming a Segyein ....?)

Of course, because I fell for all those deliciously doomed themes like the good CLAMP/Akasaka foolish nerd I am, I bought patreon access day one. Although some setting details were unexpected, I was pretty satisfied with my overall initial grasp on most of the characters. If you found me through the tags and didn't already follow me, my disclaimer here so you get to know me is that I easily gravitate to polarizing characters or doomed ships like a curse. There are also certain Themes that follow me like a plague and I could see some of my favorite characters' shadows on the doomed kids I liked right away. Like an itch to spot something more to what is being shown.

Therefore right away, Luka and Hyuna caught my eye big time. (literally, when I watched sweet dream I kept pausing and going - whOA WHO IS THE COOL GIRL WITH THE CIG. Wait wait wait show me more of the boy that looks dead inside overstimulated by the flashing lights!)

I don't really have any pretension to be quoted on anything here or say things verbatim (Patreon says it's fine to produce derivative content based on what's there, but as expected, it's enforced not to directly share it so I can't really go argument-evidence here by presenting it) and have only seen pictures of the artbook secondhand by a friend, so I'll have my fun here making commentary loosely based on extra content and sporadically showing off pretty MV captures.

Anyway.

We're introduced to this universe through the jarring cruelty of ROUND 1, contrasting a harmonic, beautiful, lullaby-like melody with a harsh outcome. Like Mizi, unless we got spoiled beforehand, we don't really know anything about what's about to horrifically transpire. And though she got education, it feels like the teachings about what death or the Alien Stage would be like were horribly sugar coated or distorted to her, as incentive to give their best performances - like sacrificing themselves was a good thing. The extra materials back this up with Mizi's first interview about "My Clematis" - it's like they're told they're simply going back to their "origins" entity (The Grand Ankt) and it's a pretty and peaceful thing. We're shown how bad humans have it in their society and simultaneously get a montage of a cute, healthy, heartwarming relationship between the two girls and a deep "pure" love, as well as feel the weight of Sua's sacrifice and how badly it hurts Mizi. You're told that Sua is her God, her Universe in a Godless world - only to have her ripped away and "God" basically slaughtered for cheap entertainment. Some of the extra materials put it as a certain "mutual love" between Sua and Mizi.

It's interesting how we're shown a stage and don't know what to expect at first - since the girls seem "calm" and happy to express their love, but there's an increasing sense of dread until the finality of Sua's death hits and the pretty, shining girl we see in the flashbacks becomes an empty husk. The MVs seem all to be roughly designed around creating a surprise at the end or recontextualizing something we have seen previously.

I won't discuss Till and Ivan at length at this time, because that would get too long and demands it's own post (I sure as hell rewatched Unknown, Black Sorrow and Cure many times though), but the key part for me here is - they similarly express "love", but through another facet - obsession of a one-sided love and the desire to reach salvation or a reason to endure the world because of that, too. To the point of choosing the chance of love over salvation, expressed by Till letting go of Ivan's hand when they had a chance to escape (not wanting to leave Mizi behind most likely) and Ivan's kiss and decision to strangle Till to give his own life in exchange for his/finally getting to express his "shallow emotions" he perceives as something that won't deeply scar Till (but it does, and it mattered, far more than he could ever have known). It's interesting that although Mizi calls Sua a God, they develop something closer to a balanced, mutual relationship, as much as their lack of understanding of "human relationship" allows - they connect deeply. Ivan, according to the comics, sees himself in Sua, but it's deeply frustrating how he couldn't build the same sort of connection with Till and felt like he could only maintain a bond through violence.

Mizi seems to be the only human who was raised in a "stable home" (her alien seems to actually love her closest to a mother), but that's not enough to protect her from pain - after all, the alien's reasoning was that if Mizi likes singing, she should join. Yolo! Your human baby's life is so short! Sounds like outdoor cat owners to me. Ugh. All other pet humans are going through some flavor of parental abuse, and it all reflects in how they express their emotions and what sort of decisions they tend to take.

Till, in contrast to all that, more closely resembles the definition of looking at Mizi like an oshi/idol as a comfort to run from the pains of his life - he always looks hurt or abused, but Mizi is like medicine that even watching from far away makes him feel "saved" due to nurturing that "first love" that is heavily idealized. It's interesting how his character that is first introduced as somewhat violent or wild because of the smashing guitar and "addict"/drug imagery turns out to be one of the most sensitive.

The cloaked figure of Mizi in Blink Gone seems to resemble a saint or Mary (mother) holding a child in her lap as he takes his last breaths. She rushed into the crowd in a desperate attempt to save or at least comfort him in his predicament. Till's final position even resembles that of being crucified.

All that, however, makes Till unable to see Ivan properly - who is constantly around him and yearning for his attention, protecting and loving him in desperate ways that he doesn't realize until the very last minute. He is also seemingly detaching himself from the "real" world as a very "pure" child (shown in the way he loves with full devotion and his artistic inclinations), which of course, makes Ivan painful to face - who is a grounding entity and a reminder of the real world. The one who touches his wounds, who is "there" and not unreachable like a flower at the top of a mountain. That love between Ivan and Till got expressed in a way that was painful to both, but a very human act of a clashing selfish and selfless-ness.

None of them are built for this. They're trying to survive.

So far, what I've got is...Mizi and Sua set a standard of what is closest to a mutual love that was growing together in a relatively equal and healthy way. Ivan and Till were reworked to avoid overlap with them and are chosen to portray the sense of an immature, obsessive love and clashing emotions. It's interesting to me how much the creators stress the "one-sided" and controlling nature of Ivan for behind the scenes, and I feel like this does not mean that Till couldn't possibly return his feelings - after all, the Actor AU does show great chemistry between them. It's more like, within their living conditions and because of the emotional immaturity of both of them, they literally could not see eye to eye - Till looking at an idol out of reach (Mizi), and Ivan choosing to seek out his attention through violent means that confused Till, thus he was unable to respond to the intensity of what he felt and grow into it.

NOW. TO THE MAIN COURSE THAT IS ROTTING MY BRAIN: HYULUKA.

If we've got all those bases covered so far...where does that leave Hyuna and Luka?

(This is the most Mello/Near-like I've ever seen another ship pull off. My inner 13 yo is screaming. They're both incredibly gorgeous. How is a hetero couple simultaneously so BL and yuri-like in DRAMA AND IMAGERY? CLAMP would be proud...)

You see, there's no official answer about the true nature of their bond yet.

But I have a lot of speculations. It clearly looks like a rotten, strangled-by-the-red-string-of-fate sort bond that is just up my alley. THE MOST FUN IS GETTING TO BABBLE BEFORE GETTING AN ASSERTIVE ANSWER. I'm all for making a fool of myself, so let's get down to it.

To put it simply - I believe Hyuna and Luka's role is expressing the extremes of the setting itself and what "to love" means within it, with a turn for the worse and the tragedy of "not understanding" even if there is love.

How do you conquer an oppressive world in which all odds are against you? Would you overtake it through rebellion or would you strike at it from within?

In a world in which God's teachings have become lost to time and difficult to believe, does love strengthen or weaken you? If it causes pain and destruction, can it still be called love?

I think Hyuna and Luka are standing at opposite sides of those beliefs, and cannot understand each other's mindset.

Seems simple enough to write Luka as a mere villain final boss since he seems to be enjoying himself at the evil death game and Hyuna as the nice rebel who wants to save everyone, right? But it's confirmed Hyuna wasn't really trying to rescue more people like she had an opportune moment to do for Mizi.

The artbook also says something incredibly interesting about what the "Luka Syndrome" mentioned in one of the MVs really means - Luka's prestige as a performer is raising the prestige of pet humans. He also believes "Hyuna would be safe with him" - Why is that?

I think they might actually have similar goals and a similar stubborness in which they believe themselves to be the correct one and the other to be pitiful and foolish. Hyuna is trying to overthrow a system that is well-established and has far more power or influence than them, therefore she needs to resort to drastic measures and flashy means to assert dominance over the alien society.

Luka on the other hand, feels like he is using the system against it and exercising his own humanity while at it. Rather than tackling the incredibly daunting task of being a rebel with guns blazing, Luka became a master of the stage in a way that makes humans gain influence and thus become more valuable.Even if I try to think of it as "he's just trying to survive", that doesn't feel enough - because whenever he is not on stage, Luka looks dead inside already.

Especially in the arts he looks like a younger child or teenager, except for the ones after he seems more consistently approached by Hyuna. It's hard for me to think what moves him is a survival instinct. He is also portrayed like the typical "golden kid" syndrome victim - someone so systematically beaten to satisfy their narcissist guardian figure and submitted to so much pain that they eventually absorb part of that mindset as a way to have agency and autonomy over themselves. It gives the illusion of being successful and thus that the abuse was "effective", but it's like a curse that is difficult to break from.

I think both of them are older for a thematic reason. It feels like it could represent what it feels like, as adults, to no longer be able to hold onto naive or idealistic things about the world or society due to ignorance and having to choose a path to express your ideas and reach your goals through your "work".

Hyuna is guns blazing and "adult pleasures" - singing to an underground stage, trying to scrub off the wounds of her past with alcohol, and it's interesting that her guardian alien is portrayed like an "absent" parent figure - they have an interest in humans, but doesn't care about watching Hyuna when she first was eligible for Alien Stage. I wonder if they even are the one looking for her at all - seems to me it's more of an alien police thing because of her "crimes". Under that seemingly "thick" skin though, it seems clear that Hyuna is deeply affected by Luka still, and the loss of her brother. She deals with her wounds by not really dealing with them at all and guess what - it's a weak point. Her song is uplifting and refreshing, but she clearly demonstrates that closing your eyes to trauma and purely moving forward doesn't make them go away. In that sense, Mizi is a way she is trying to "mentor" someone navigate through loss.

I love outcasts and mildly autistic-coded characters, so I gravitated to Sua, Ivan and Luka right away.

(Extroverted cutie and the doomest doomer of the bunch. As a side note, their character design alone and contrast is genius and gorgeous. I'd expect 90% of the time for Luka to be the designated BL character and hardly do I ever see his archetype paired with the sort of sharp, striking beauty that Hyuna has so I definitely got giddy with them right away. She reminds me a lot of Michiko Malando and Luka reminds me of Near, two characters I love a whole lot and funnily enough have the same mbti types the artbook describes them as - ESTP and INTJ. Ankt garden Luka looks somewhat closer to the AU versions of Luka, so gotta love both his origins and his twisted post-alnst/hyuun woo self)

I believe Hyuna bundles Luka with that trauma of grief and loss, and it's still unclear what their roles are in it and after the fact. While singing all in verses "We only get one life, so I'm living mine for me/'Cause I'm the one from your wildest dreams", Luka's face flashes through Hyuna's mind before even her brothers, like it's something that's always on the back of it and barely suppressed.

See...since VIVINOS loves the "more than meets the eye"/twist concept, something I'm expecting is for Hyuna's feelings not to be as black and white as blaming Luka and actually. It obviously was dysfunctional and isn't that....delicious???

I feel like a one-sided love or obsession wouldn't make sense to repeat as themes, and because of the heavy trauma associated in the backstory, it's not like a "healthy mutual love". To bridge the themes of MiziSua and IvanTill, I think Hyuna and Luka are being told in a way to express love as something that can also destroy instead of save, and their clashing ideologies come from a place of wanting to think "-I'M- right and want to be your god", instead of ever having been able to understand each other properly.

They have a similarly "corrupt" love that has a lot of guilt and regret built into it. Even with something awful as what happened to her brother, it's curious that Hyuna's mind first thinks of Luka in an "enamored" light - the scene looks pretty tender - but that's also attached to the weight of Hyun Woo's death.

I think It's likely that the twist is Hyuna having been the one who hurt her brother, even, considering the dynamic in these comics:

Luka and Hyun Woo compete for Hyuna's attention, and it's to be expected that none of them understand the boundaries and definitions of love too well. Hyuna and Hyun Woo seem to be naive and relatively raised in a decent way, submitted to superiority tests like the rest, but not directly abused. They seem to express their love for each other in a cheerful, healthy way, Hyuna probably because of her closeness to her brother (which is unusual for other pet humans to be able to do) is extremely physical in how she shows affection. She doesn't really reprimand Luka, and that creates an unhealthy dynamic in which Luka plays the victim - in spite of starting things - to enjoy Hyuna's attention. There is a cute comic that looks silly, but encapsulates it all:

Luka is a little shit that wants to be pampered. He knows he is physically weaker - if you come across a rabbit being hurt by a wolf, you wouldn't suspect the rabbit provoked it. So Hyuna constantly seems to take Luka's side regardless of what happened, wanting to have that protector role.

Luka on the other hand, has no reference of what it's like to be "loved". He is systematically abused and treated like an object - therefore, he perceives relationships in terms of "ownership". And I don't think Hyuna truly understands just what she is enabling when she encourages Luka to act the way he does or thinks his neediness is "cute".

Honestly, I think there's strong sexual abuse imagery in Luka's art and the presentation of his stage image as someone taking charge of their objectification. His clothing for stage always shows off his body one way or another and both Hyuna and him have this sensual imagery and approach to others, as if "reclaiming one's own body". The contrast of Luka's blank expression and the red collar indicating a mental breakdown in that artwork above featuring Heperu's shadow approaching him is truly chilling.

That boy has no reference of what a familial bond or love is like. And both his introspective nature and abuse seem to make it even worse for him to connect with his peers- in the artbook his only relationships listed are Hyuna and Mizi, in very negative ways. He is also said to have retreated deeper into his own world, because "no one can understand him". Again, checks out with the imagery of "gifted son" that is treated like a narcissistic parent's doll and that becomes desensitized to many things over time.

His alien guardian Heperu even looks vaguely phallic and Luka has body language of "trying to disappear" or soothing himself when not up the stage - hugging knees, looking smaller, sucking on sleeves, stimming with toys (rubik's cube). The scars on his chest seem related to the abuse of submitting him to pain to overcome fear and I theorize the scars on the side may have been for plastic surgery like abdominoplasty or even possibly removing ribs. Normally that would be done from the back, but hey - alien science, and he already had "tainted" scarred skin on the front, so it would make sense to try preserving his back. His waist is drawn really really thin. It's also mentioned that he had a strict diet even though he is a big eater - that is, Heperu is deeply violating his agency in accordance with Lookism.

Luka has all the makings of a really tragic character and reminds me of Kamiki Hikaru's construction in Oshi no Ko. A victim turned abuser in some ways, as a way to seek autonomy, self expression and living for their ideals and love, no matter how twisted it has become.

There's a comic that has a "flashback" of anakt garden and Hyuna being asked by Luka if she likes to sing. The POV of Hyuna's face looks as soft as Luka's does from hers. She tells him that they don't have freedom for anything else, but when she is up at the stage, it's like her life is "her own", so she likes it. The image of Luka singing as an adult suggests that even now, those are the words he pictures and that is the image of Hyuna that is alive in his mind.

In a way, both of them are deeply attached to the past, and while Hyuna wants to shut it down completely and regrets it having happened, Luka's feelings are twisted.

We don't know much about the kiss. Considering the "sucking on forehead" comics, I get the feeling Hyuna was startled by the sudden escalation from Luka acting as a passive, cute pet and jumping her with so much intensity, but may not necessarily have pushed him away. The following fight could either have happened because Hyuna became withdrawn as a result of suddenly becoming aware of the effect she was having on Luka and what their feelings for each other were (since previously, she might not have been able to tell the difference between being all over her brother and all over Luka) /or/ the scenario played out like the forehead sucking. She didn't dislike it, but Luka became insistent or they got caught in a way that Hyuun Woo had no context for, thus assuming Luka was forcing her.

And there is a third option too that now I think about it, seems the /most/ likely: the growing proximity to Hyuna made Luka's feelings of "wanting ownership and exclusivity" even deeper because of love and lust, as simply being assured he is "loved" doesn't seem to be enough for Luka. It could be that Hyuna in fact disliked his attempt of kissing her and became more distant to him. Thus, he orchestrated for Hyuna to take his side once again for validation in a reckless way - but the results were "better than he thought" when it resulted in Hyuun Woo's death. Because, that is a price so heavy that it feels like "wow, you actually chose me".

This scene is super interesting, I love Luka's expression. It's joyful in a "perverse" way. He was successful in trapping his beloved Hyuna. And it seems that the emotion is so intense, like he is finally free from the mask of pitiful wounded animal with no agency over himself that the sheer ecstasy might have caused a seizure or heart attack, hence his eyes looking glassy afterwards and his fingers finally turning the blue/purple hue we see on his older design.

Skimming through the patreon posts, I was pleasantly surprised to realize my gut feeling about Ivan and Luka having a similar core wasn't wrong. Sua in comparison is the scenario of someone who doesn't go off to the deep end as the two of them. It's often stressed that the team was worried about establishing Luka and Ivan as distinguishable - their personalities are similar, but their masks are different. Ivan presents himself as the "big bro", while actually being a boy struggling with properly expressing emotions that went as far as practicing smiles and expresions at the lake. Whereas Luka is like a porcelain doll and passive - austere, even...but what about his real self?

We're cleverly prevented from seeing an introductory MV for Luka, as round 4 doesn't happen. And for the subsequent videos, Luka shows himself partially by not disclosing his POV, but showing important sides of himself - the urge to control and the attempts to "become whatever is desired of him". A blank slate.

In a sense, that's implying to me Ivan and Luka's stage presence is an expression of their "inner selves", where their feelings and thoughts become bare. Ivan does so by casting aside his big bro warmth and stepping in as the image of a serious-faced, strongly devoted man that is coming apart at the seams with the weight of his immaturity, sadness, love and obsession.

Luka's stage presence is a distant cry from his image of passiveness and class behind the scenes. On stage, he is a seasoned performer and a calculating prince that enjoys pulling the strings to reach the ideal performance as seen in his inner world. He cunningly displays a different expression between the audience and his partners to achieve the ideal results. Luka acts like both a director and an actor while performing, in order to construct his vision - He's bold, confident and invades people's personal spaces.

(What a condescending little shit. I love him. His expression seems to be saying something like..."Done already? Hmph. I expected more of you. You need to do something for me to do my part and shine, too."

A point I theorize about Ruler of My Heart - Hyuna says in the artbook, I think, that Mizi reminds her of herself. Luka would be able to pick up on that also, especially since Mizi had just been broken by the loss of the one she loved most and formerly had that spark of "hope and dreaming high" in her eyes. Luka may have chosen the song specifically to have Mizi recreate the "role of Hyuna" envisioned for it - as in, he never expected her to be obedient at all. He was riling her up to feel what Hyuna might have responded like to this song. But the Hyuna in his idealization is probably "blazing, absolute and strong" - instead of shutting down and giving up singing. Mizi lets herself get intimidated by his provocation into silence, but when she loses it to punch him in the face with no regard for the consequences - like Hyuna surely would do - is when he finally smirks. It's also a mockery of letting emotions take her over, securing his win and further reinforcing he is "in the right". )

Another interesting tidbit is that Luka's personality isn't of the ethereal "pitiful-but-nice" character, but rather something that "fits VIVINOS taste". He is also compared frequently to Ivan in personality/mindset, who is described as a "bad boy" with a possessive/manipulative streak. If the sides of Ivan we get to see that related to Till are fairly tame and the team worries so much about contrast, that seems to imply that Luka embraces the more extreme parts left out of Ivan.

Even more interesting than that is the core of Luka's character inspiration - "the little prince", which I assume most people have read before. It's a children's book about an adult meeting a little prince from space and basically sharing life lessons.

If we look a little beyond the "cute blond kid"/moon motif...the most striking aspect about the Little Prince is probably the idea of the rose and the fox. The immature prince is taught the concept of love and responsibility by a wild fox - that to tame someone is to make them unique, and it's the time spent nurturing that love that makes it precious. The prince had been frustrated by a Rose he thought he loved, but grew annoyed by because he could not understand her. He also was confused upon realizing there were many roses in the universe, but his was too selfish and flawed. So is she not as unique as he thought? He starts missing the rose, and learns that there IS a difference - none of the roses are "his" or sound like "his" - because if they have tamed each other, going forward, he isn't just any little boy to his rose anymore - he is "the" boy, and she is "the" rose, unique in the universe.

This feels extremely relevant to a character presented as a "product" of gene editing and, basically, being created in a lab. The implication to me is that there may be many other "Luka"-like humans - the vast array of congenital diseases he manifests such as heart disease, Raynaud syndrome, asthma and chronic migraine all make him sound like their universe's equivalent of a white pug dog with dubious origins to boot.

What makes that test tube baby, raised by a ruthless alien that doesn't care about him as more than a way to vicariously live a life of success and luxury, unique in that case?

Love.

And my take is that, the fox and rose to his little prince are the siblings Hyun Woo and Hyuna.

(I'm suddenly reminded of the Vanitas no Carte Louis-Domi-Noé trio. Why do those never end well?)

IMO the rift created between Hyuna's brother and Luka wasn't necessarily there from the start. Before getting more strongly attached or opening up to Hyuna, Luka looks extremely detached. Hyuna's brother looked like the picture of excitement and youth, so it feels like he could have reached out to the quiet boy first and Hyuna tagged along. The settings mention something along the lines of Hyuna not quite being the origin of the "dreamer" outlook, but being inspired by her brother, and I can picture it.

Hyuna's MV All in and her relationship with Mizi painted to me the picture of a girl that is naturally attractive - her drive and sunny disposition are simply dazzling. But, underneath, there seems to be "something" doesn't it? I think Hyuna's charm comes from a mix of strength and vulnerability. She seems like the type of person to cope with humor and being flirty in order to lift people's moods and surprise them, but Hyuna herself can have quite heavy and serious feelings. The somber look suits her, and it's overall impressive that she didn't completely break because of her brother. It's like her innate talent for performing draws people to her, but at the same time she can sustain an illusion of "closeness", her true worries and wounds are kept deep inside and she doesn't let others truly see into her.

So.

What's shown in Blink Gone to me is that Luka's not merely surviving a death game, he is enjoying the show and trying to feel alive. To someone like him that probably already feels dead inside all the time and was "abandoned" by Hyuna, there is nothing much to look forward to. We don't know what happened between Hyuun Woo's death and their first alien stage run (quite a lot, since Hyuna even lost a leg) ot the timing of their relationship fall out. Given their memories and image of eachother, it does seem to be implied they were already going separate ways right after the incident.

It's likely that what connects Luka to Hyuna's memory the most is the feeling of performing itself - the one time he gets to be free. Luka acts like he is superior to the other pet humans for having "figured out" the system and feeding into it, and looks down on them for having no control over their emotions. But does he really have total control over his own?

In spite of all the abuse he embraced as his own will or believing he could truly get any power by playing the game according to its rules and "overcoming fear", someone as unpredictable and impulsive as Till is the natural enemy of someone like Luka. He had the upper hand as long as it stayed within his plan, but Till suddenly going as far as going back to the green light indicator was worrisome. Luka's Stamina is actually rather crappy, so if Till did decide to go all out, he might have been cooked.

I think, to Luka, it's probably about more than keeping himself alive. And Till flipping the game then would have made him waste his life on a performance that was supposed to be easy -and- it must be annoying that Till strayed off-script. My hypothesis is that he wants to reach out to Hyuna, still - either by increasing the influence of humans to shift the world closer to the one she envisioned, or by putting his life in the line at the stage as many times as possible to feel the "weight" of her presence as if she still were by his side or to grow so famous that she cannot ignore or escape him.

Deliciously hypocritical of him to look down on others so much, when Hyuna's unannounced presence shook him so badly he turned his back to the stage and stared at her with an expression we'd never seen before.

My take is that her walking in like this is seriously the worst scenario to him. Luka expresses in the artbook that he pities Hyuna and that her safety would have been guaranteed with him, so - because of his influence - I think he might actually have gone to the Alien Stage again to secure his power status AND request to keep Hyuna out of it. A condescending sort of domestication we know she would hate, but would keep her safe.

But see. Even if she wasn't under his care, being out there causing a ruckus is one thing - she's alive and kicking, not really in the slaughterhouse. He can live with that. So, he sings to his heart's content. And...

His sneering that people are suuuch rookies at controlling their emotions...

Sooo weak to let their emotions and regrets dominate them and make them lose sight of the stage, compared to his Super Competent self that can overcome fear and control his own heart rate...

All came back to bite him in the ass, like an idiot.

All other characters were pitted against their worst case nightmare scenario, and I doubt the Prince will be an exception. I really don't think his type of obsessive is wanting to be superior to or beat Hyuna at performing either, even if it's his guardian's mindset (it seems Heperu feels inferior to Hyuna's guardian and adopted Luka simply as a means of beating him - so seems very possible he will push for having the two face off and prove Luka's "superiority").

No matter what he does now, it's either Hyuna against Mizi at the risk of death or Hyuna against him. Hyuna's a wanted criminal - there is absolutely no talking a way out of that one. Not only that, Hyuna's bleeding from her wound already. Luka facing against Hyuna as the second time champion would mean being forced to choose - keep rulling the stage, or chose the one who was his guiding light in the first place?

The imagery from the sweet dream opening (as well as Luka having covered that song) is "release" - Luka dying at Hyuna's hand even if it's not something she can truly do with pleasure, no matter how much she copes with her past wounds by hating him. I wonder if it's a red herring or if it will play out, I particularly want whatever will allow to explore their character, feelings and motivation the deepest.

I don't think Hyuna wandered onto the stage for his sake - it seems like it's for Mizi, who is completely frozen. Hyuna probably has up until now coped with hating Luka because he represented everything she was rebelling against - the "system" itself. A nasty cog in the engine of the aliens who, even if not directly, ultimately were the cause of the entire context that stripped her away of her freedom and lead to her precious brother's death.

However...

My guess to what's happening here isn't "wow your outfit is so slutty" or "you've grown". It's more like...Luka suddenly looks too human.

He wasn't supposed to.

...Phew. That's all for now. The ADHD gets strong when I'm talking about something that tickles my brain, so I hope that wasn't too messy/unintelligible to follow with the back and forth jumping timelines or repeating points of interest I did.

Well! I really, really wish there was more for me to keep going, but for now I'll live with overthinking with what we have. I might do separate analysis/speculation for the MVs if I have a deadline I'm procrastinating on come up the time.

Bottom line is, I think all those characters are very interesting, but Hyuluka are the ones I'm rotating like a rotisserie chicken in my mind. Plz hurt me more VIVINOS team and thanks for the good fucking food

[devouredbyflame]

On Divine Mysteries and the Art of Keeping Your Mouth Shut

One thing I learned the hard way is that the path that I’ve taken this far is not only a lonely one but it is a far-reaching one that spans over the course of millennia. That being said, it’s humbling and important knowing that I’ve been given the opportunity to know things that others may not have the chance at knowing and these things are to be shared explicitly by the Divine and not be humans.

The ethical considerations of this are also important. I believe the Gods talk to humans and not only are they capable of giving similar answers about Themselves to Their followers, but They also come down and educate Their people on who They are, as well. These things are mysteries that are given to us as a privilege and an opportunity to create rather than destroy the very fabric of our knowing by making it a TikTok or blog post.

It’s a thin line as far as I’m concerned. We live in an age where sharing the details of our lives is a common occurrence. We want to find those who know us and those who recognize each other through the internet. There’s days where I want to tell people all that I’ve learned and all that I’ve found the past couple of months and years. Unfortunately, though, that is not my place and I don’t think it’s any human’s place, either, to share the mysteries of the Gods. That’s how Christians started to destroy their religion and where a lot of people tend to get it wrong.

When humans take Divinity into their own hands, problems start to be created in regards to ethics. Talking to the Gods is something everyone should learn how to do in a proper manner, but not everyone is capable of keeping their experiences to themselves because they have trouble validating it on their own. People assert that they know the Gods because the people on Tiktok and Tumblr have a checklist for each category of Deities and the standards they need to make in order to be classified as Divinity and Divine interactions. The problem here is, we’ve completely removed the autonomy of the Gods by doing this and destroyed the trust that They have in humans by exposing Their own secrets.

You can read the rest of this post here:

[azaracyy]

Once you get this, you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly. Then you have to send this to ten of your favourite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool~) 🌈 🌈

in our tumblr ask era are we 😂😂 alright, here goes: 1) independence to be specific, my ability to keep myself company and distract myself from loneliness and boredom very, very well. when i achieve financial independence too one day, i think it'll be perfect lol 2) honesty i know when and how to sugarcoat, and i could say i'm not bad at lying. but here's the thing: i'm aware of the inconveniences that come with those, so i do try to be honest most of the time. unfortunately there's no real in-between when it comes to my truth and false, so sometimes people think i'm mean because i tend to serve it hard and cold. it keeps the fakes and BS away though, so it works for me. 3) ethics ngl, to this day i'm still a bit bitter with my upbringing. but i admit it has formed a lot of what i hold as my morals and ethics today. i have decent understanding of what's considerate and not, what's necessary and not, etc. combined with my no-BS personality, people who don't match my vibes tend to shy away if i don't take real steps back away from them first. i also don't cause and/or get into dramas as much as others around me haha 🗿 4) luck with friends i don't usually talk about this, but i am super thankful for the people i have had the opportunity to know and befriend in life. i'm more a quality than quantity type of person, so my luck does not necessarily mean i have a lot of friends, but rather having the privilege to find and be found by the "right" people, who make me learn to be a better person. or you know, simply be wonderful companions where we can share our thoughts without worry :') 5) art style not saying it in the way that "my art style is the best!!", because i do sometimes wish it was better, more complex, and more detailed like typical big artists lol. still, i like it because it's comfortable - it's me. if it changes in the future, guess it's safe to say i have undergone another character development 😂

[mdhwrites]

Here's a question I'm surprised I haven't put to you before, given how many times I've mulled it over: what do you make of "The Magic Goes Away" trope?

On paper, it's a simple thing: the magic/technology/miracle whatever that enabled fantastical things to happen (granting characters superpowers, interdimensional travel, etc) disappears by the end of the story, leaving the characters to navigate a world without it.

What's given me a lot of thought about the trope recently is the way it's often portrayed/interpreted as a metaphor for growing up. I'm kind of a sucker for metaphorical storytelling, albeit when it's subtle, very well done, or both. So I like it when the "magic" represents something bigger than itself and its departure conveys a lesson true to real life. But some argue the trope can be (unintentionally) needlessly depressing, implying that becoming an adult means you have to cast aside wonder and imagination to live in the "real world."

Any thoughts?

So the problem with the argument people make of having to abandon whimsy is that it implies an all or nothing mentality with this trope when the point is more often more nuanced than that. Because yes, the trope does say that you need to come back to reality eventually. That for as grand and whimsical as the fantasy is, the world you need to be prepared for is, you know, real.

But that doesn't mean those lessons or the impact of the magic is gone, does it?

For me, stories like this are analogous to cartoons and fairy tales in reality. Those stories which shape us, that help the world feel so big and special, and that teach us lessons that for many eventually feel quaint or too small or not close enough to the reality which we live in. After all, a kid needs dragons to understand the hugeness of reality. All an adult needs is one quick look at the trending topics on Twitter. It can be hard as an adult for many of us to look at these simple resolutions or the promise that magic can fix all of our problems when you are constantly worn down by the endless grind that is adulting.

However... Who are the common villains in stories like these? They're usually the most adult character in the room. Not the most mature, the most adult. The one who sees the world as cruel, evil and crushing all that is good. They may literally be someone who is hunting the magic, thus forcing it to leave so that it may be safe instead of exploited. These people have no morals, no ethics no consideration for others. They have no lessons to teach except those taught to them by the cruelty of the adult world...

Because they forgot the lessons they learned as a child. Because rather than inspired to be better, having been forged in pixie dust to whether the storm of life, they broke and had to pick themselves back up to face a harsh reality. Honestly, a lot of these characters have pretty sympathetic backstories for this reason. Meet the Robinsons isn't technically in this genre of fiction but the villain is. They were someone who rejected the kindness and compassion of the world and sank deeper and deeper into their misery and contempt for others. This even manifests, as it does for villains of this story who are hunting a past no longer theirs, as a need for those nostalgic elements. He lives in his old orphanage, he wears his old clothes. He has not grown up because while having become cruel, he has not recognized the actual complexity of the world. He treats adult life with the same simplicity a child does.

The kid in these stories contrasts this by not being selfish. Not being desperate for the warm blanket of better times and simple answers. They instead take what they have learned and stride forward, ready to face the world and the magic of its complexity thanks to the strength and lessons that the fantasy taught them. They do not cling to the fantasy or wish to destroy/exploit it.

This can easily be applied to Amphibia's ending. Instead of the girls breaking from losing their access to these people who changed and shaped them, those memories still exist and instead EMPOWER them. It led Anne to a career that she'd never have considered, especially since at the beginning of the series she didn't have any career aspirations. A frog that looks like Sprig doesn't make her cry, it makes her smile. It warms her heart because you don't have to discard the world entirely just because it's not there anymore. It still is, because it's in your heart, like most magic. Like that which touches us deepest and shapes who we are.

So hold on loosely, but don't let go. See you next tale.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

I always manage to miss your match ups so I'm here (and queer-) to request 😭😭😭

Not even going on anon bc I wanna know when you post.

I dunno if there's a fandom limit so I'll * the ones I want the most.

Fandom: Attack on Titan, ATLA/LOK, Blue Exorcist*, Hazbin Hotel*/Helluva Boss*, Mystic Messenger, Spy x Family*

Name: Kiana (Kiki for short)

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Demisexual & Demiromantic

Zodiac/MBTI/Ennaegram: Sagittarius, ISFJ, 2w3

Appearance: Pale as all hells, currently pink and purple dyed hair, natural blonde so a lot of my body hair is hard to see haha, chubby but makes a good pillow, overheats easily but makes for a good snuggle buddy in winter, 5'8", looks a lot younger than I am lol, have tattoos along the inner side of my arm (related to my kitties) and some paw prints on my shoulder

Personality: Overall sweet, caring, I try to help people when I can, I'm usually someone can talk to when they're having issues, I will fight people who hurt those I care about, huge love and cuddle bug, struggles with self worth, I can be a bit snarky at times, enjoys dark humor, surprises everyone with how unhinged I can be at times LOL

Likes: Animals, my cats (I have six of them-), writing, reading, watching tv/movies, video games, spending time with people I care about, snuggles, sleeping LOL, cold

Dislikes: summer, heat, people who hate on things for no reason, people who are rude to others for no reason, being told how to live my life >:(

Hobbies: reading, writing, video games, taking pictures, painting, drawing, playing with my kitties >:), cooking

Hi Kiki! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took a while. As a thank you for your patience, I decided to give you a matchup for all of the fandoms you requested. I hope you like your matchups!

In Attack on Titan, I match you with...

This was a close call between Armin and Jean but I think you and Armin would get along a bit better.

Personality wise, you’re very similar. You both like helping people but you also have low self worth. Because of this, you can be each others supporters, helping the other out when things are getting to be a bit too much.

It’s no secret that Armin has a soft spot for animals. In a modern au, he would love cat cafes and going on walks around town to stop and say hello to every animal the two of you come across.

Disliking people telling you how to live your life is something Armin can definitely relate to. Since his dream is seeing the world beyond the walls, he really hopes you can each support the dreams of the other.

Armin loves reading and he’s so glad you share that interest. He would love reading to you from his favourite books and if you are willing to do the same, he will listen attentively to your every word.

In Avatar: The Last Airbender, I match you with...

You and Aang are both good listeners and this is probably one of the things you bonded over at first. You’re both so used to people talking to you that it’s a nice change having someone willing to listen.

Definitely one of the biggest cuddle bugs in the entirety of the Avatar universe. He just likes expressing his affection that was and he’s super grateful you like that and are the same. No one’s going to be able to pry you two apart.

No need to worry about the heat when you’re around Aang. He can either freeze some water into ice for you or create a nice cool breeze. Just say the word. He’s more than happy to help.

Much like Korra, Aang is delighted that you like animals, especially since he has such a close relationship with Appa and Momo. A lot of your dates will have those two tagging along as third wheels.

In a modern au, Aang definitely plays video games. I see him as someone who would like Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley but I can also see him playing things like Undertale that have moral or ethical considerations built into them.

In Legend of Korra, I match you with...

Asami is also a very protective person when it comes to those she cares about. There’s a sense of mutual care in your relationship which makes you both feel safe and loved.

Oh, you’re both so snarky and I love it! When the two of you gang up on someone, they don’t stand a chance, both of you bouncing off the other and constantly upping the sass in the room until your opponent has no choice but to yield.

Even though they’re still relatively new, I think Asami would love going to see the latest movers. She thinks they’re fascinating and is glad you enjoy watching them as well.

She’s a reasonably creative person so I think Asami would like painting with you. Setting up your work stations next to each other and painting what you each feel like makes for an enjoyable day spent in great company.

Taking pictures is a must in your relationship. Asami loves hanging up photos from all your dates in her bedroom so she has a nice collection of memories to look at every day as a reminder of you.

In Blue Exorcist, I match you with...

You and Shiemi are probably the sweetest could anyone has ever seen. You’re both just so nice! It’s actually hard to believe sometimes.

She’s got a pretty strong protective streak herself so the protectiveness definitely goes both ways. She’s honoured you feel the same desire to keep her safe that she feels towards you.

Shiemi loves spending time with all of her friends but she especially loves spending time with you. I think one of her main love languages would be quality time (closely followed by acts of service) so whatever you two end up doing, she’s just happy to be with you.

Please give this girl as many cuddles as you can handle. She’s not touch starved but she’s not used to affection from people she’s not related to so it never fails to send pleasant butterflies through her stomach.

I definitely see Shiemi as someone who likes drawing, especially plants. She’d love to go on walks with you and a sketchpad so you can stop occasionally and make a sketch of what you see.

In Hazbin Hotel, I match you with...

When it comes to caring, you’d be hard pushed to find someone who cares more in Hell than Charlie. Your own caring nature is what drew the princess of Hell to you in the first place.

One of her main love languages is definitely quality time so she loves spending time with you. She’s very busy with the hotel and her plans of redemption but she’ll always make time to be with you.

Oh, Charlie definitely gets your dislike of hateful or rude people. We all saw how she reacted to Katie Killjoy in the pilot and Susan in the actual show. She might not always react like that but if it’s someone you both dislike, the chances of her snapping double.

One of the cuddliest people you will ever meet. She loves snuggles and is so glad she’s found someone else in Hell who likes that and lets her get her daily dose of physical affection.

Charlie definitely lives life her own way and isn’t fond of being told how she should be living. Since she knows you don’t like that either, she’ll be super supportive of whatever you do so cancel it out. If you do the same for her, she will be super grateful.

In Helluva Boss, I match you with...

Moxie definitely has a thing for slightly unhinged people. I mean, just look who he works with. The fact that you’re unhinged and also sweet and caring is just a win-win in his book.

He thinks it’s amazing that you can write. If you’re willing to share your work with him, he would love to read it. He’ll give lots of praise and gentle critique where it might be needed.

Moxie loves taking pictures, especially of you (if that’s something you’re comfortable with of course). He likes making photo albums of your dates and special moments so you can both look back on them in the years to come.

Oh my goodness, you can write and you can draw? Moxie thinks you must be one of the most creatively talented people in the world (no, he’s not biased, what do you mean?). He would be over the moon if you drew something for him but would never pressure you.

You can’t really escape hateful and rude people in Hell so Moxie can sympathise with your dislike of them. He’ll do his best to make sure you never feel that way about him or his friends though.

In Mystic Messenger, I match you with...

You and Seven would be an unstoppable snarky duo. The rest of the RFA don’t stand a chance. They thought they only had to deal with one snarky person and now there are two? And they’re in a relationship? There’s no hope for them…

Loves your dark humour. Seven definitely has that sense of humour as well so there will always be a plethora of dark jokes when you’re together. He will make sure he doesn't cross any boundaries though.

I’m very sorry to say but when your cats are around, you come second to Seven. He loves them so much and almost shuts down when they’re all around him. He just doesn't know which one to show love first.

Oh, it’s a godsend that you can cook because this man lives off cup noodles and Honey Buddha Chips. He loves your cooking too so this might finally get him to have a balanced diet.

I don’t see Seven as being a huge fan of the heat either since he spends most of his time inside, likely in air conditioning. He’s more than willing to let you share the cool interior of his home though.

In Spy x Family, I match you with...

If there’s one thing Loid admires, it’s those who make it their life mission to help people. It’s his own mission after all. So he definitely finds your desire to help others admirable.

To be in a relationship with a spy, whether you’re aware of it or not, you have to have an unhinged side. In Loid’s mind, this helps you keep up with the dangers of his work and, even though he’ll still worry about you being a target, he’ll feel a bit more comfortable.

Please share your writing with Loid. He’ll carefully read every word and give you really good feedback. He pairs his criticism with praise so it never feels harsh but you also get a really clear idea of how you can improve your writing.

Enjoys watching shows and movies with you. He doesn't get a lot of downtime with his work but when he does, it’s nice just turning his mind off and watching something with you next to him.

Loud is a great cook and he would love having you in the kitchen with you, especially since you like cooking. You get to spend quality time together and enjoy some amazing food at the end as well. It’s a win-win!

[016s]

um can i get a number 0 and a number 13 and a 21 with a 44?

HI SY you may!!

0: Height

Answered in the last ask :) 6'6"

13: Biggest turn ons

In a more emotional and boring sense I definitely get very attracted to people off their voice alone. I guess everyone does but I feel like I'm definitely drawn to people more by voice than the average person. In the fun sexual sense I used to be very into cnc but that's something I've kind of drifted away from atm. Loooove woundfucking always have always will<3 has been occupying the mind more than usual as of late

21: What I love most about myself

Hard to answer in a not-mentally-ill way. I used to struggle a lot with really intense apathy and cynicism probably from undiagnosed npd or something but I think I have made a big turnaround with just.. having empathy and having more consideration towards myself & others. I don't think it's normally something I'd love so much about myself but it took a lot of internal work to get to that point and it's something I'm always proud of myself for, and I think my relationships w/ others have obviously benefitted from it too.

44: A random fact about anything

In the mid/late 90's there was a hairless mouse with a human ear grown on its back :) He was dubbed the Vacanti mouse. Obviously not very ethical but undeniably interesting to see & look at. Disappointingly, it was technically not a human ear but a bunch of tissue that sort of grew into one - it wasn't an operational ear in the sense he could hear out of it. Still neat to me though. Here he is:

I think about him a lot. Very neat little guy

[darkshrimpemotions]

@valleyg0th Like I said, answering this in a separate post because it's too long-winded for a reply and sort of off the topic of the original post. My comments and yours from that post above for reference.

Also, I'd like to preface this by saying that the ethical and moral considerations around RPS/RPF are massively nuanced and complicated, and something that I'm still working through myself. That being said, I do have some pretty hard and fast ideas about what ISN'T okay, which inform a lot of what I'm getting into below.

But first, I'd like to clarify my statement as it seems from your reply that it did not come across the way I intended. When I say "something Taylor has made it clear she doesn't want to be super public about" I'm not talking about her sexuality. I'm talking about her relationships in general.

She has made it very clear, repeatedly, over the years that she does not appreciate uninvited intrusions into her personal life. That's not really debatable at this point. She wants to be the one to choose what and when and how her personal life is shared with the world. If she has ever asked for anything, anything at all, it's that.

That's part one of why I find the constant spreading and debate and speculation over these still-unconfirmed break-up rumors so distasteful, particularly from people who claim to love Taylor.

Part two of why I find it so distasteful is the way so many people are celebrating this breakup rumor because it validates their theories about Taylor's sexuality, rejoicing that she's "gotten rid of her beard" and such. That's gross regardless of what you think her sexuality is. If people were on here going "oh yay she broke up with Joe this is how Haylor can still win" I would find that despicable, too.

I'm not particularly invested in any of Taylor's relationships beyond being happy that she's happy, but I do participate and get invested heavily in RPS/RPF in other fandoms, and the keys to respectful RPS/RPF are pretty clear, whether the ship in question is het or queer.

1. You do not demonize, villainize, or harass the real life significant others of the people your ship concerns. (It's also generally considered distasteful to float or perpetuate rumors or conspiracy theories about the relationship being fake or forced, but the bare minimum is you don't make whatever you think about the relationship that SO's problem.)

2. You do not involve or bother the children of the people your ship concerns in any way, ever.

3. You do not ever, ever, EVER put your shipping or associated material (i.e. fics, fanart, theorizing, tinhatting) where the real people it concerns are likely to see it.

And that third one is where Swifties, Gaylors in particular, are really fucking failing right now. Now, if a famous person goes onto AO3 and searches for their name, that's one thing. Or they come into any fandom space where they aren't a known presence and start poking around...they went looking for it. But bringing it up at live events or putting it on social media platforms that said celebrity openly frequents in a way they're likely to see it (i.e. by @ing them or putting it under their name's hashtag) is crossing a line.

And yet what is the Taylor Swift tag FULL OF, on tumblr where we all know Taylor has had an account for years and lurks occasionally? People calling Joe an ex-beard, celebrating the end of their relationship, and analyzing her every move and facial expression and song choice in the context of these unconfirmed break-up rumors.

This shit is gross, full stop. And on top of everything else, far too many of the fans in the Gaylor camp are quick to call anyone who has a problem with their behavior in this regard a homophobe, trivializing the very real dangers and struggles faced by queer people to win their stupid little fandom arguments. That's disgusting. It disgusts me as a queer person.

Part three of why I find all the breakup rumor speculation so distasteful is that once again, Taylor is doing the absolute most and completely killing it at her career, but many of her so-called fans only want to focus on her relationship status with some guy. It's all "she's doing so great on tour in spite of the Joe breakup!" or "she's doing so great on tour because of the Joe breakup!" How about we stop attributing anything in this woman's career to the men she's involved with? Are we capable of that? Have we fucking evolved past 2015 yet?

As for Taylor's habit of leaving clues in her albums, I find it wild that people assume because she has left fairly obvious little puzzles and easter eggs for us throughout her career ABOUT her career, i.e. background info about the music on an album or foreshadowing around what's coming next, that means that she's constantly sending us secret coded messages about her private life.

Like...capitalized letters in liner notes that spell out a detail about that song or album that you wouldn't otherwise know, or a numerical code on her instagram that reveals the vault tracks on her next TV re-recording, or even easter eggs in a music video related to very public knowledge that inspired the song and album...are all a pretty far cry from "Taylor has been sending secret, unconfirmed signals that only we can see for over a decade to tell us that she's actually queer and being forced to stay in the closet and have PR relationships with men she doesn't care about."

And finally, I actually don't have a problem with interpreting Ivy or any of Taylor's music as queer. Interpreting art is not the same thing as speculating on the artist's sexuality, and it sure as hell isn't the same thing as celebrating a breakup rumor because it validates that speculation. I myself interpret a LOT of Taylor's music as queer. But I also understand that how I interpret art is just as much about me as it is about the art.

Me finding something in Taylor's music that I resonate with as a queer person doesn't necessarily mean Taylor herself is queer. And even if she is, she hasn't chosen to share that with us, so it's simply none of my goddamn business. "A lot of Taylor Swift's music resonates with me and my queer experiences" and "Taylor Swift's sexuality is none of my business" are ideas that can and should coexist.

As are "I think she might be" and "but that's none of my business" for that matter! Hell, I can even admit that based on my own experiences of being closeted and coming out, I wouldn't be surprised at all if one day Taylor comes out as bi. But that doesn't mean she OWES me or anyone else that disclosure, or that it's okay to be on the internet endlessly speculating on unsubstantiated rumors concerning something we know she specifically likes to be private about in a place we KNOW she's likely to see it! Especially when that speculation gives way to actively celebrating the end of her relationship without knowing a) if it has actually ended, and b) how she feels about it if it has.

[nikator]

Readings, 2023

I didn’t read as much or as widely in 2023 as I had hoped, but what I did read mostly followed a through-line of free-spiritedness, pessimism, and absurdism as part of researching for a theory on the critique of everyday life I’ve been working on. This has involved reading more fiction than in the last few years, which I’ve definitely enjoyed, and finally getting around to several authors I’d been meaning to read for years. A fun reading year I’ve already begun furthering in 2024.

1. Camus, Albert. “Exile and the Kingdom.” Translated by Justin O’Brien. The Plague, The Fall, Exile and the Kingdom, and Selected Essays, by Albert Camus, Everyman’s Library, 2004 [1957], pp. 357–488

A strong collection of short stories, each full of a sense of unease, ennui, melancholy, estrangement/alienation, and even madness. I enjoyed them, though they never fully clicked with me. Above all, they felt substantial, considered, and carefully constructed; perhaps too carefully, as they all had a sense of detachment that seemed a little at odds with their subjects.

2. Machiavelli, Niccolò. The Prince. Edited by Peter Bondanella, translated by Peter Bondanella, OUP, 2008 [ca. 1513] (re-read)

Re-reading The Prince for a second time in less than six months (this time for a seminar rather than myself) was very enjoyable, which is a testament to Machiavelli’s literary skills. Some of the things which stood out to me on this reading more than on previous ones: Machiavelli’s artistic talent, the work being full of tight little sentences both beautiful and cutting; the metaphor of applied sciences (arts), above all medicine; the sheer ubiquity of his implicit republicanism; the degree to which he offers ethical maxims—in the tradition of Nietzsche or La Rochefoucauld—for life that can be more or less applied by anyone. My conviction of the centrality of this little book for all political reasoning, science, and practice only grows. An endlessly fertile work. Bondanella’s translation is tight, evocative, stylish, and still by far the best I’ve come across.

3. Anderson, Perry. Considerations on Western Marxism. Verso, 1979

An accessible and easy introductory essay for the tradition, striking a balance—mostly but not entirely successfully—between productive criticism and productive encouragement. However, Anderson fails and never properly even attempts, despite claiming he would, to establish the coherency and meaningfulness of the concept of Western Marxism itself, without which the work is a little disjointed.

4. La Rochefoucauld, François de. “Moral Reflections or Sententiae and Maxims: fifth edition, 1678”, “Maxims Finally Withdrawn by La Rochefoucauld”, “Maxims Never Published by La Rochefoucauld”. Collected Maxims and Other Reflections, by François de La Rochefoucauld, OUP, 2008 [1664–78], pp. 1–191

Technically sharp, tight, incisive; a wonderful representative of the aphoristic ethical tradition and a refreshing kind of urbane cynicism concerned with living well, i.e., with happiness. Very much begs for re-reading, especially because so much of it will inevitably go over your head on first reading, an inevitable risk of short (or even longer) aphorisms.

5. Cioran, E. M. A Short History of Decay. Translated by Richard Howard, Penguin, 2018 [1949]

Cioran is meant to be lyrically very talented, and certainly there are many aphorisms in this short work that are indeed artistically excellent, but there are also a lot (I’d say slightly more) which I found clumsy. I got the impression he was trying too hard and that where he succeeded it was as much from brute strength as learnt skill. Linked to this, philosophically speaking there were plenty of interesting ideas and themes, but they were insufficiently built upon; the aphoristic form was, I feel, misused here, and worked to undermine rather than reinforce the philosophy. The book felt underwhelming compared to his high reputation. Overall, a good book, definitely worth reading and both a notable product of its time and place and a work for the present, a more than worthwhile study of life’s groundlessness and aporias, but not the masterpiece I’d been hoping for.

6. Cioran, E. M. All Gall Is Divided. Translated by Richard Howard, Arcade, 2019 [1952]

A much stronger work than A Short History of Decay: artistically far superior, masterful in its hyper-short aphoristic form. Even through the prism of a translation, it’s clear that Cioran became much more comfortable writing in French in the three years between the two: the sentences run better, are more careful, more economical, more impactful. In terms of the philosophical content, having finished the book I feel unsure about what it was actually saying, as if it wasn’t saying much at all. I think this is a limitation of such short aphorisms when they're taken in isolation and not used as part of (perhaps prompts for) discussion, philosophy being an inherently dialogic art; I prefer the longer form used by the likes of Nietzsche and Adorno and, indeed, the Cioran of A Short History. Nevertheless, All Gall Is Divided picks up where A Short History of Decay left off, continuing the call for a moderate and moderating scepticism and rejecting fanaticism and faith. As ever, the pessimists are the more respectful and kind thinkers...

7. Althusser, Louis. Machiavelli and Us. Edited by Francois Matheron, translated by Gregory Elliott, Verso, 2011 [1962–86]

A fantastic study of Machiavelli and his materialism; an immensely strong justification of his absolute centrality for materialist analysis and politics. The reading of Machiavelli as the first theorist of political practice as such is especially strong and important, as is the closely related interpretation of his approach and practice as being one of locating specific, concrete conjunctural situations—exactly as a Leninist does—and, sub specie historiae, identifying programmatic tasks immanent in that conjuncture and establishing (and judging) means and aims only with reference to that task, not with reference to whichever subjectively-determined goals the political agent might have as he’s often thought to do (a “vulgar pragmatism”, Althusser calls it). A brilliant, short, essayistic book, strong both as an analysis of Machiavelli per se and (mostly implicitly) as a guide to how he can and must be used by communists.

8. Tartt, Donna. The Little Friend. Bloomsbury, 2002

I read this at random to try and get back into long novels after years of avoiding them, and hopefully it's succeeded because The Little Friend is a great book. Its central characters—especially the protagonist, Harriet, the best child character I’ve read in a very long time—are rich and convincing, its atmosphere and sense of place are perfect, and the sadness and misery which pervades it are excellently handled. The ending is delightfully brutal, a gorgeous flurry of violence. The social criticism that is present throughout just beneath the surface is also well used to set the mood and context, though I would say is a little underdeveloped and maybe somewhat crude, though the perspective of a child is responsible for a lot of that crudeness and so isn’t necessarily a weakness.

9. West, M. L., editor. Greek Lyric Poetry: The Poems and Fragments of the Greek Iambic, Elegiac, and Melic Poets (excluding Pindar and Bacchylides) Down to 450 BC. Translated by M. L. West, OUP, 2008

West's translation is often fairly loose in order to make the poems more comprehensible to a modern audience, and while that's usually something I don't like I have to say he's done a good job here. Arranging the poets chronologically (as much as is possible, anyway) really lets you see the cultural change that occurred over the centuries covered, as old, barbaric, Dionysian Greece gave way to a younger, more sterile, more civilised, more Apollonian regime. Throughout, however, the poets have a profound sense of intimacy and place, a true glimpse at a different way of life and the ephemeral pleasures of a long-gone world. The universal embracing of all the poets—from the oldest to the most recent—of sexual desire in general, without qualification of the sex of the target of that desire, is very stark, and a wonderful demonstration that our modern conception of sexuality is historically relative and must one day fall— we can only hope to be replaced by something much closer to the profound wisdom of the ancient erotic principle. Despite the translation's best attempts and the palpable skill of the poets, a lot of the work here does come across as quite dry, sadly, bereft as it is of its native metre and the accompanying music it was meant for, to say nothing of the social context it was written to be enjoyed in or the extremely fragmentary status of so much of it. But even so, there are throughout stunning fragments of beautiful verse, from little clusters of word combinations that seem to come out of nowhere to whole sustained works that, by some miracle, have come down to us through the millennia. I read this above all to get a better feeling for ancient Greek culture, and in this Greek Lyric Poetry succeeds: it is the collected beauty of a different way of life that can decisively inform our struggle for a new one.

10. Lucretius Carus, Titus. On the Nature of the Universe. Translated by Ronald Melville, OUP, 2008 [ca. 50BC]

Lucretius’ achievement in writing De rerum natura is difficult to comprehend. Simultaneously a powerful cosmology that is barely out of date and a guide to living which remains nearly peerless, it combines, as all good philosophy should, wonderful content with wonderful form, but the degree of his artistic skill is so total that it easily puts him at the summit of philosophical writing, alongside such giants as Nietzsche and Plato. This edition is very strong, with an excellent translation, a very competent introduction, and a large number of explanatory notes that are formatted in a way that doesn’t impact reading the main text at all. Why Melville has translated the title as On the Nature of the Universe, rather than the ubiquitous On the Nature of Things, I don’t know; it’s a strange choice. Maybe he wanted to emphasise the scope of the work, and the universe comes across as more magisterial than “things”? But his translation is excellent, very readable, beautiful.

The subtle, stunningly intelligent atomic physics that Lucretius communicates in such beautiful and evocative ways is amazingly prescient and perceptive. The degree to which it presaged central discoveries of modern science is exhilarating and leaves me a little speechless. To name only a few standout points from the first book: entropy (1.215); the conservation of matter/energy (1.215–25); relativism about time (1.458); molecules (1.483); subatomic particles (1.610). These are things which Lucretius hypothesises on the basis of a masterful combination of observation, experimentation, and reasoning, i.e., upon genuinely scientific grounds. The maturity and sophistication of the entire enterprise is staggering. Among the many, many things that Lucretius is, he is irrefutable evidence that the people who lived even in the distant past were not stupid, and knew how to discover fundamental truths about their world. In so doing he’s also a fantastic standard-bearer for philosophy: this is what our subject can do! See what we can achieve! See what we can know! See our triumph!

His more overtly “philosophical” principles are even more impressive, his atomism, no matter how stunning, being now (after millennia!) outdated. Among such vital and still cutting-edge principles as the causal closure of the physical (1.304) and determination in the last instance (1.546), Lucretius puts forward the genius of Epicureanism in full force: the harmlessness of death, the ubiquitous misery of fearing death, the ease and goodness of viewing death with ambivalence and contempt and carelessness; hedonism; opposition to romance as a social regime (something even Marxists haven’t fully recognised!); opposition to religion (the criticisms of religion in De rerum natura are extremely powerful and gorgeous, heartfelt and motivated by an intoxicating humanism and love and so disgust at the wound that religion is for men), and on and on.

I simply cannot lavish enough praise on De rerum natura. It comes within a hair’s breadth of perfection, being pulled down only by a brief lapse into misogyny and lazy, patriarchal thinking and the affirmation of marriage, something even more disgraceful as, paradoxically and contradictingly, it follows directly on from an unparalleled rejection of romance and the slavery it subjects us to. But even this is confined to a single page. De rerum natura is an entire philosophy for life contained in a relatively short book of poetry: it is a shining jewel of world literature and a defiant, proud demonstration of antiquity’s brilliance and bequeathment to mankind. It remains a live work, begging to be taken up and used in the critical study and critique of the world— communists could learn a great deal from it; Marx’s debt to Lucretius was a good starting point, but it has been criminally underdeveloped. Just beyond brilliant. “Masterpiece” doesn’t even begin to do it justice. Ovid gave some indication, made some attempt, when he wrote that ‘The verses of sublime Lucretius will perish only when a single day brings about destruction of the world’ (Amores 1.15).

11. Cioran, E. M. The Temptation to Exist. Translated by Richard Howard, Arcade Publishing, 2013 [1956]

A strong work of philosophical essay writing, a worthy addition to the French tradition in which Cioran is here attempting to place himself. Lots of interesting ideas skillfully expressed in easy and engaging prose. Cioran’s writing is tight, terse, and considered, and this book has confirmed my judgement from the previous two books of his I read this year that he’s a master of phrases—of little combinations or words—and that this is where his style really excels. In terms of content, The Temptation to Exist definitely has stronger and weaker parts, but rarely falls very far from “good”.

12. Amable, Bruno, and Stefano Palombarini. The Last Neoliberal: Macron and the Origins of France’s Political Crisis. Translated by David Broder and David Fernbach, Verso, 2021 [2018]

Read this in a couple of sittings over a single day, so a relatively easy read. Amable and Palombarini argue that the defining characteristic of the contemporary French social formation is the absence of a dominant social bloc (i.e. voting bloc, support for a party or coalition of parties), and that Macron and LREM are the first to have been able to capitalise on what they call the “bourgeois bloc” of the upper and middle classes who are united by “culturally left/liberal” views and support for European integration.

13. Thacker, Eugene. Infinite Resignation. Repeater, 2018

Infinite Resignation is very easy to read. I read over a hundred pages in a day multiple times, and that’s very unusual for me. I would describe Thacker’s writing style as distinctly “American”: plain, simple, best when it is saying something bluntly, and unsightly when it tries to be artistic and ape the European writers that dominate the book; he’s just not good enough an artist to sound profound when he’s writing a hyper-short aphorism full of pseudo-profound words. But for all this the book is not trivial, and Thacker’s encyclopaedic and constant reference to the long tradition of pessimism adds a huge amount to it. Overall a perhaps surprisingly effective work, one which I’m already in the process of mining for ideas and even some quotations for my main ongoing draft.

14. Lahiri, Jhumpa, editor. The Penguin Book of Italian Short Stories. Penguin, 2020

This is a wonderful anthology, full of magic, the fantastical, the strange, the sombre, the melancholy, the poor and the intelligentsia, the city and the countryside, the new and the old, the male and the female, the human and the nonhuman. The selected stories are all excellent, and together convey a really strong sense of Italy and her regionalism, and of it changing over time, with selections from across her modern history as a unified state. There are stories here which are works of unpolished social realism; there are also a large number which come across as something like a fable. All of them make you want to be in love with such an ancient, rich, cultured, and conflicted country, even and especially when you are being shown her ugly underbelly.

15. Kafka, Franz. “The Trial.” The Complete Novels, by Franz Kafka, translated by Edwin Muir and Willa Muir, Vintage Books, 1999 [1915], pp. 11–128

What can one say of Kafka, other than that he is gorgeous? The Trial is a powerful critique of liberalism and capitalist modernity, with the entire system and its well-meaning participants (we might say its bearers— Träger) undercut and subjected to a scathing demystification through the mystifying story. Some interesting things that stood out to me: Joseph K. is unusual for a protagonist in being a very unlikeable person, nothing remarkable but distinctly distasteful and offputting, as well as being the quintessential modern bourgeois; throughout the novel, its recurrent subjects/themes cover, like bullet-points, the central foci of capitalist modernity, most prominently the judiciary and legalism, general bureaucracy, landlordism, the marriage form and monogamy, misogyny/patriarchy, and the interplay between poverty and wealth and their common subjection before the social order itself. The way that Kafka combines form and content is masterful, as the two are always fully in agreement and mutually reinforcing. Even when the gruelling monotony and byzantinism of most of the novel give way without warning to the stochastic, fragmentary, disjointed ending, a product of the book’s incompleteness, it seems almost designed and deliberate, and has a strong emphatic effect.

16. Shawn, Wallace. The Fever. Revised ed., Faber & Faber, 2009 [1990] (re-read; new edition)

The Fever is a brutal work, an emotional powerhouse. It has an amazing power to make you viscerally bleed for the poor and the oppressed, for the downtrodden, for the forgotten and the exploited, and to want to give everything you are to the people and the struggle for freedom. It’s especially cutting for a middle-class reader like the protagonist, for the well-off, for those who think of themselves as good people, because it rips the edifice of money and morality and the liberal order out from under their eyes and shows how the whole regime of wealth and comfort rests upon the backbreaking humiliation and misery of the poor. It’s a cold-hearted, ideologically suffocated person who could read The Fever and not be deeply moved by it and made, even if only for a brief period, to see the world a little differently. Short, sweet like vomit, oppressive like the monsoon heat, it’s a brilliant little play.

I don’t like or agree with several of the revisions made in this edition compared to the original (which I read many years ago); maybe that’s because some of the lines of the original which have been burned into my mind have been erased or altered, but some of the central moments of the play—most of all the little church in the poor country, and the guerilla in the café—seem to me less powerful and direct.

17. Nietzsche, Friedrich. Human, All Too Human: A Book for Free Spirits. Translated by R. J. Hollingdale, CUP, 1996 [1878–80]

A fantastic work that is a brilliant life companion for the titular free spirits. It’s wonderful to see Nietzsche as a critical but sincere advocate and follower of the natural sciences and the Enlightenment. This is a somewhat short review compared to some of the others on this list, but don’t mistake that for a lacklustre attitude towards the work on my part: it’s more than anything because there is so much—and so much that is good—in these “travel books” as Nietzsche called them that I struggle to think of where to begin with describing them. They are immensely valuable, as is everything by Nietzsche, but spending half a year slowly chewing through these couple of thousand aphorisms has given me a lot, and a huge pool of ideas and references for my writing. They do exhibit marks of underdevelopment, both in content and style, compared to his later, “mature” works, but nonetheless they amount to a very valuable salvo against the world we oppose and of considerable worth irrespective of their place within Nietzsche’s oeuvre.

18. Camus, Albert. “The Myth of Sisyphus.” Translated by Justin O’Brien. The Plague, The Fall, Exile and the Kingdom, and Selected Essays, by Albert Camus, Everyman’s Library, 2004 [1942], pp. 489–605

For a work as famous as this is, I wasn’t very impressed by The Myth of Sisyphus. It seemed to me more like an extremely bloated plan for an essay rather than a finished one, complete with critical, central failures, including a failure to ever properly define or characterise vital concepts (including the absurd!) and to even attempt to justify enormous leaps of “argument” (without justification they’re not arguments, only stipulations at best) that are essential to the essay as a whole, most notably the rejection of suicide which is made with a handwaving nonentity of a segway into the rest of the work. The huge amount of space given over to the analysis of works of literature also seemed wildly misplaced and detracted from the essay; the substance of what Camus is arguing with them could be stated in two pages. I agree with a huge amount of what Camus is saying here, just not with really any of the ways in which he is stitching those things together. Reading this has sadly reinforced my preconception that Camus was a good philosophical novelist but a poor philosopher (a distinction he actually conveys well in this essay, ironically enough, including the weakness of the former group’s attempts to fulfil those of the latter— I can’t tell if he thought he was subject to those weaknesses or not, but he was). Nevertheless, the philosophy being put forward here is a strong one, a distinctly Mediterranean foil to the Germanic Nietzsche. The discussion of absurd archetypes, namely the seducer, the actor, and the conquerer, was a particular stand-out that I think offers good strategies for different free spirits. I have been utilising The Myth of Sisyphus a lot in scraps of writing towards my main ongoing piece, I want to emphasise the significance and maturity of its ideas, but as a piece of writing it’s surprisingly poor and lets down its actual position considerably.

19. Camus, Albert. “The Plague.” Translated by Justin O’Brien. The Plague, The Fall, Exile and the Kingdom, and Selected Essays, by Albert Camus, Everyman’s Library, 2004 [1947], pp. 1–272

The first chapter of this book has one of the best atmospheres I’ve ever read, a near-perfect building of tension and dread that masterfully begins a masterful story. The teaching of philosophy—and of a philosophy—through fiction is difficult, and in my experience fails more often than it succeeds, but Camus has succeeded to such a degree in The Plague that I’m left feeling like a novel was the best way to present the ideas, stronger than a nonfiction work, stronger than The Myth of Sisyphus. Beautiful and brilliant, the sort of work someone can easily pick up, be awe-struck by, and decide to adopt as their guiding document in life— and be well-chosen in doing so. Everything is as it should be, and the cumulative effect is something like perfect. A sublime book to end the year with.

[gubgam]

I’m not sure that illustration is moss, looks more like lichen (not a plant, closer to animals). If you are considering collecting moss and lichen PLEASE do not buy it online and really try not to forage it. Ethical collection or cultivation is usually self-reported and not verified or standardized. A few things to note:

Many species only have a few records of their occurrence and we don’t know what their populations are like. It is possible to wipe out a species that is tens of millions of years old by collecting one sample.

Lichens (and mosses, I’m newer to them though) can be very old! Even when they are small! One Rhizocarpon geographicum, 4 cm across can be 40yrs old. The oldest we know of is more than 8,600 yrs old. Many grow incredibly slowly, less than 1mm/year.

Even if you collect to identify and/or curate for herbariums (plant archives) we have a set of ethical considerations we run through before collecting anything.

Do not touch lichens, the oils on your skin can kill them. Some also have substances that can cause dermatitis or allergic reactions. Especially tree lichens in the PNW. Others are hyper accumulators of heavy metals including Lead and Arsenic.

It is really, really, hard to transplant lichens or mosses. You can’t just replant them outside. I have successfully done it ONCE and it may only be temporary. It’s a whole multi-year project thing. They are also very sensitive to air pollution, simply transporting them is lethal for many.

Even if you know the common names, or they appear as common in your area, they may actually be collections of 200+ species impossible to tell apart without doing intense chemical tests (I’m looking at you, sphagnum and Cladonia).

If you are interested in mosses and lichens there are things we would LOVE your help on and ways to appreciate lichens and mosses without harming them! THINGS YOU CAN DO:

Find checklists of native species in your area! Even deserts and urban areas have lichens and mosses. If you are in the northern hemisphere look on North facing features (but do not use this as a compass, it is only accurate on very very large scales!!!). Good places to look are lichenportal.com (sister site for mosses), the book Urban Lichens, waysofenlichenment.com for western NA. Also check your nearest state parks or national forests for surveys or checklists. IF YOU DON’T SEE ONE, REQUEST ONE! It may help your local lichenologist or bryologist to get a job, and is really important for conservation. Most ethnobotanical information and tons of ecology (a lot of long term science as well) comes from indigenous people, do not perform or use closed practices for yourself.

Record your observations (pictures) on i-naturalist with gps coordinates! It helps us know where they are and if they should be protected. Advocate for them! Learn species names and facts about them when you can. You could also take one of the only photos of that species in existence, which is pretty cool!

If you really want to get involved consider collecting for an herbarium! Reach out to one in your area (usually at universities) and ask. Make sure you are comfortable with the ethical rules of collecting and do not collect really rare species (photo document). Take good notes of the site etc (happy to make a bigger post about this if there’s an interest). One of the most notable lichenologists is a construction worker who never got a degree.

For those interested in mosses there is a free ebook, actually five, with links from this site. The books are posted here by the author, Janice Glime, and many are up to date as of 2022. There are gorgeous pictures and even a poem (scientists love that shit, by the way).

Finally, if you really, really want to use mosses, consider cultivating some that are already present in your yard or a community garden. I’ve only cultivated desert mosses but I have an entire pot full of trimmings from laying down a wooden walkway. (Again, with interest I’m happy to make a post on moss gardening in a desert.) I would consult Bryophyte Ecology for better advice on your location and habitat.

Disclaimer: I do not practice any spiritualism or witchcraft. However, as a person who has a tremendous amount of love and passion for the organisms I study, like every scientist I have met, I think there is more than one way to meaningfully connect to mosses and lichens. I think we also have to examine wether that interaction is harmful or helpful. Gardening my own moss has been incredible for my own mental health, especially during the winter when they are some of the only green things left actively growing. They can be left for weeks-years without tending (and many need that time to develop properly).

TLDR: don’t purchase or collect lichens & mosses without understanding the harm it does and the ethics behind collection. Consider interacting with mosses in ways that are more beneficial to them. Know the species in your area, do not touch, and never collect a rare species. Reach out to an herbarium, photo document them on sites like inaturalist, and learn about them. Instead of foraging, cultivate the mosses and lichens already present in your yard or community garden. They are very good for increasing soil water retention, microbial diversity, N-fixation (indirectly), even interacting with mycorrhizal networks! If you get a nice mat going I have had less problems with invasive grasses/weeds compared to mulch and ground cover.

Bonus: it looks like the ivy depicted is English Ivy, Hedera helix. This plant is a noxious invasive in North America. Do not plant it, but DO COLLECT and remove ENGLISH IVY!!! just be careful to avoid disturbing any bird nests or other plants.

Any lichenologists or bryologists feel free to add!

Source

[alignminds]

The Impact of AI on Web Development and Branding

Artificial Intelligence (AI) is revolutionizing how businesses create and maintain online presence. By combining technology and creativity, AI enables web developers to design and build more engaging, responsive, and user-friendly websites.

According to a Statista report, the revenue generation from AI is expected to reach $126 billion in 2025. AI has become an essential tool for web development and online branding, as it offers various benefits such as personalization, optimization, and automation.

Artificial Intelligence has transcended science fiction and become an integral part of our digital lives. When it comes to web development, it is not just about creating functional websites anymore; it’s about delivering an immersive, personalized, and efficient experience to users.

The AI revolution in web development has been driven by the need to cater to an ever-demanding user base. Today’s users expect websites to not only load swiftly but also adapt to their preferences seamlessly.

Important Factors to Consider That Influence Online Branding

Several factors in website development influence online branding and have revolutionized because of Artificial Intelligence!

AI-Driven Design for Better User Experience

In web development, making sure users have a great experience is super important. AI-powered design is leading the way in this effort. It is like having a smart assistant that watches what users do on a website and then changes things like the layout, menus, and content to match what each person likes. This personalized touch makes the website enjoyable to use and keeps people coming back.

AI-Powered Content: Creating More with Less Effort

Content, like articles and videos, is what makes the internet interesting. AI is like a powerful helper that can create top-quality content quickly. It is not just about text; AI can even make audio, video, and interactive stuff like chatbots and virtual assistants. This means less work for human creators and consistent quality across different parts of a website. AI is unlocking creative possibilities to engage users in exciting new ways.

Personalization is very important for online success. AI helps websites show you what you like based on your past behavior and some basic info. This makes you feel like the website is made for you. You are more likely to stay, interact, and buy. AI helps websites get you hooked.

Making Web Development Easier with AI

Creating websites used to be hard and slow. People had to write and test lots of code by hand. But now, AI helps by doing most of the work. AI tools can make and fix the code for websites without human help. This lets web developers be more creative and less bored.

AI and SEO: A Dynamic Duo

Having a great website is not enough; people need to find it online. That is what SEO does—it makes sure your website appears in search results. AI-powered SEO tools have changed how businesses do this. They can analyze data, find the right words, and keep your website visible and relevant.

The Ethical Considerations

While the potential of AI in web development and online branding is immense, it also raises ethical considerations. Privacy concerns, algorithmic bias, and transparency issues need to be addressed as AI continues to shape these domains. It’s crucial for businesses to navigate these ethical challenges responsibly while harnessing the power of AI.

Case Studies: Real-World Applications

To truly understand the impact of AI, it is essential to examine real-world applications. Across various industries, businesses have harnessed AI to transform their web development and branding strategies. From e-commerce giants using AI for product recommendations to healthcare organizations improving user experiences, case studies showcase the versatility and effectiveness of AI in different contexts.

Here are a few references that can further help comprehend the concept:

1. Netflix: Personalization Through AI

Background: Netflix, the world’s leading streaming platform, relies heavily on AI to enhance user experience and retain subscribers.

AI Implementation: Netflix employs AI algorithms to analyze user viewing habits, preferences, and historical data. This data-driven approach enables them to recommend personalized content to viewers, increasing user engagement and retention.

Results: By leveraging AI-driven recommendations, Netflix has seen a significant boost in user satisfaction and subscription retention rates. According to a report by McKinsey, Netflix’s recommendation system, powered by AI, is estimated to save the company $1 billion per year by reducing churn.

2. Spotify: AI-Powered Music Recommendations>

Background: Spotify, a popular music streaming service, uses AI to deliver personalized playlists and recommendations to its users.

AI Implementation: Spotify’s AI algorithms analyze user behavior, such as the songs they listen to, the time of day, and their mood, to curate personalized playlists like “Discover Weekly” and “Release Radar.” They also use AI for audio analysis to categorize songs based on characteristics like tempo and mood.

Results: Spotify’s personalized playlists have significantly increased user engagement. As of 2020, Spotify reported that over 60% of their streams come from personalized playlists, showcasing the power of AI in keeping users engaged and satisfied.

3. IBM Watson: AI in Website Development

Background: IBM Watson, IBM’s AI-powered platform, offers a suite of tools for businesses, including web development.

AI Implementation: IBM Watson’s AI capabilities extend to web development through AI-powered chatbots, content generation, and user experience optimization. It allows businesses to create websites with personalized content and responsive designs using AI.

Results: Multiple businesses have used IBM Watson to streamline their web development processes and improve user experience. For example, a travel booking website used Watson’s chatbot to assist customers in real time, resulting in a 30% increase in bookings and a 20% reduction in customer service response times.

4. Coca-Cola: AI-Driven Content Creation

Background: Coca-Cola, one of the world’s most recognizable brands, adopted AI for content creation.

AI Implementation: Coca-Cola employed AI algorithms to generate thousands of unique product descriptions for their e-commerce website. The AI analyzed product features and customer preferences to create compelling and personalized descriptions for each product.

Results: By using AI to enhance their website content, Coca-Cola experienced a 28% increase in online sales and a 20% reduction in bounce rates. The AI-generated descriptions resonated better with customers, leading to higher conversion rates.

These case studies demonstrate the versatile applications of AI in web development and online branding. From personalized content recommendations to streamlined web development processes, AI is reshaping the digital landscape and delivering tangible results for businesses across various sectors.

As AI continues to advance, its impact on these domains is poised to grow further, offering exciting possibilities for businesses seeking to thrive in the digital age.

Future Trends in AI-Driven Web Development & Online Branding

The future holds exciting prospects for AI in web development and online branding. One of the most promising areas is augmented and virtual reality experiences. AI can enhance these immersive technologies by personalizing user experiences, creating lifelike simulations, and improving real-time interactions.

The result is a more engaging and captivating online world!

Even for businesses, investing in futuristic AI is a strategic move! Businesses need to understand the tangible benefits of AI adoption. From increased conversion rates and improved user satisfaction to cost savings through automation, the ROI of AI investments is measurable and significant.

Get Ready to Embrace the AI Revolution with AlignMinds

In conclusion, Artificial Intelligence is a transformative force reshaping the landscape of web development and online branding.

Embracing this revolution is not an option but a necessity for businesses looking to stay competitive in the digital age. As technology continues to advance, staying ahead of the curve will be the key to success.

Make the leap with AlignMinds !

AlignMinds is a prominent Website Development and Software Development company with a global presence, including operations in India, Kenya, and the United States. This company has established itself as a valuable partner for businesses seeking to enhance their web development and online branding strategies.

Here is how AlignMinds is making a significant impact in these regions:

1. Expertise in Website Development:

As a renowned website development company in India – AlignMinds boasts a highly skilled and experienced web developer proficient in creating user-friendly, responsive, and visually appealing websites. Their expertise covers various industries and technologies, including Artificial Intelligence. By offering custom website development solutions, AlignMinds ensures that each client’s unique needs and brand identity are reflected in their online presence.

2.Robust Software Development Services:

In addition to website development, AlignMinds excels as a software development company in India and other parts of the world! They create customized software solutions that are AI-driven that help streamline business operations, improve efficiency, and enhance customer experiences. Their software development services cater to various domains, including healthcare, finance, e-commerce, and more.

3. Global Reach:

AlignMinds’ presence in India, Kenya, and the US allows them to serve clients from diverse locations. This global reach enables them to understand and adapt to market dynamics and customer preferences.

4. Online Branding and Digital Transformation:

AlignMinds understands that a website’s role extends beyond design and functionality. They offer comprehensive services to help clients establish and strengthen their online branding.

5. Emphasis on User Experience:

AlignMinds places a strong emphasis on user experience (UX) design. Being a website development company in Kenya, they ensure that websites and software applications are intuitive and easy to navigate, resulting in higher user satisfaction and more extended visitor engagement.

6. Innovative Solutions:

AlignMinds keeps pace with the latest technological trends and innovations. They offer cutting-edge solutions, such as progressive web apps (PWAs) and AI-driven applications, to keep clients ahead of the curve.

7. Client-Centric Approach:

AlignMinds takes a client-centric approach to every project. They collaborate closely with clients, understanding their goals and challenges to deliver tailor-made solutions that align with their objectives.

8. Measuring Success:

AlignMinds believes in data-driven decision-making. They provide clients with analytics and performance metrics, enabling them to continuously measure their websites and software applications’ success.

9. Security and Trust:

AlignMinds prioritizes security in all their projects in the era of increasing cyber threats. As a software development company in Kenya, they implement robust security measures to protect websites and software applications, building user trust and safeguarding sensitive data.

AlignMinds’ website and software development expertise positions them as a valuable partner for businesses looking to enhance their online branding efforts. Their commitment to quality, innovation, and client satisfaction makes them a reliable choice in the competitive web and software development world.

Book a free consultation today!

[mi5018-abbiesmith]

deep fakes and ‘fake news’

During this weeks lecture we looked at deep fakes briefly and how this can be, ethically, concerning for the future of compositing. Extreme video manipulation like this can have a lot of harmful effects and I think deep fakes first brought attention to this to a wider audience. 

A while ago I read a book called ‘The Misinformation Age’ which talked about how fake news can spread. Generally, this book states that it isn’t intelligence level that determines how much you believe but rather it’s more a social process. What I find interesting then, in relation to deep fakes, is that whether you can instantly spot it as fake or not may have little to do with the effect it has. Just hearing a trusted source, a friend not even a news outlet, talk about it could be enough to skew your perception of whichever celebrity or political figure has been deep faked. 

The best example is the video where Jordan Peele mimics Obama and with the help of deep fakes, does it pretty convincingly. 

There are a lot of ethical considerations here. Even if the real person hasn’t said whatever the fake version said, and this can be proven, is there a lasting impression that lingers on despite knowing it is fake. I feel like there could be this association that could never be fully removed. 

Deep fakes are a very hard topic to debate as they seem to get harder and harder to spot as compositing software develops. 

[stop-entropy-lie-down]

If we assume that plants have feelings and are just as morally relevant as sentient beings, that gives us even more reason not to eat animals. Those animals eat plants - more calories of plant than we get out of them. We can eat/kill a lot fewer plants by not eating animals. This also helps with exploited labour and environmental concerns - cutting out the middle man results in much less consumption over all (as well as the appalling labour practices and emissions of the animal agriculture industry compared to other food industries).

(And yes, individual consumption changes aren't going to change the world - but a collective movement can.)(And while I'm on the topic, if there is ever political will to massively curtail fossil fuel production or animal agriculture, as is needed to stop total climate catastrophe, all of those lifestyle choices will very suddenly become mandatory for everyone who isn't a billionaire. It's worth practice and proof-of-concept in order to generate that political will, and to stave off despair until big changes are made - as always, the best antidote to doomerism is getting involved!)

We're here to talk about plants though. I love that! I love plants and the amazing things they can do. I love that we're expanding the circle of our compassion to include everyone we possibly can. I don't think, though, that plant sentience would be a good reason not to go vegan - and not just because of my first reason.

The implication of the post so far is that: 1) plants fit definitions of sentience, so 2) including all sentient beings in our ethics is impossible, and 3) we should therefore draw an arbitrary line at whoever we can empathise with. OP cites the emotional relatability of a pig as their reason for not killing them.

I'm not going to argue against 1, but I trust you to spot the flaws in the other two. I've written them out anyway:

2) This is an appeal to futility. We shouldn't stop trying to be good just because it's difficult, and the difficulty of doing something completely doesn't mean we should do none of it. The second half post is a stirring argument in favour of the ethical consideration of plants, so as people who want to do good and reduce our harm (as proved by the fact we're not eating humans or supporting patriarchy etc), we should act ethically here and reduce our consumption of both animals and plants, as part of a collective action (and ideally other activism) to bring about cultural and political change.

3) Inability to sympathise with people we don't understand is one of the key drivers of xenophobia and other bigotries. Regardless of the bigot's thought, their conclusion is still wrong - we shouldn't have to be able to relate to someone to acknowledge that their interests are as valid as our own. Allistic people can have a hard time relating to autistic people, but that doesn't give them the right to murder them. English people had a hard time relating to indigenous peoples, but colonialism and genocide are still wrong. My personal similarity or dissimilarity to someone else does not let them abuse me or me abuse them. The species distinction is no different than any other distinction between groups in this respect. Every human is genetically different from every other human (except twins etc). Every human has a different degree of intelligence to every other. Many human couples can't have children. All of these are morally irrelevant distinctions. Non-human animals are deemed vaguely 'different enough' that the othering and the killing is justified. We learned all this is don't-be-a-bigot class.

As always, if you think I've misrepresented your position or missed a key point, don't hesitate to reply or send an ask.

okay, i have no one else to say this to, and ARAs make me feel rabid. Sorry for this, lol. I get constantly frustrated by vegans using specism as a reason for their choice,,, outside of the irony that most of the ones i’ve seen online are super racist and ableist with more care for animals than the people who farm their food. I just think the argument is incredibly hollow. There is constantly more evidence that plants have sentience, so why are animal lives prioritized over plants? with this knowledge wouldn’t an omnivorous and sustainable diet be the most ethical from an anti-specist perspective?

They will never care about plants because many of them go by the “I don’t eat it if it has a face” mantra despite that being quite reductive and not even inclusive of most animals let alone plants or fungi which function on such a high level humans can’t even fully perceive its scope.

They’ll say omnivores only eat animals because we see them as “less than” which they acknowledge as being wrong but if you mention plants they go on about how OBVIOUSLY that’s different because a plant doesn’t have REAL feelings because they don’t have brains or even a basic central nervous system, which, is arguable, but more to the point is really not any different from saying a pig doesn’t have REAL value since it can’t read and doesn’t even have opposable thumbs.

They will flaunt that it’s difficult to argue that speciesism is fake without using an argument a white supremacist would make about poc, but it’s difficult for them to argue for the life of a plant or fungus not mattering without it sounding like something a filthy carnist would say about steak.

Point being, the tactic they use to claim comparing black people to livestock as not being racist is a very easy tactic to redirect at them because the fact of the matter is that humans have a very limited perspective. No matter what you do, you’ll always see the world through the lens of a human being.

It’s easy for a human to sympathize with something they can relate to. A pig? One of the closest genetic relatives to humans and express a lot of human-like opinions through their actions. That’s actually why I don’t personally eat pork. It’s easy to sympathize with a pig. Many people are more okay with eating fish because they’re cold blooded, slimy, don’t have arms or lungs or legs or anything a human can easily relate to, they don’t even have eyelids or a complex heart, so of course they don’t bat an eye to fishing in comparison to hunting because a fish is more primal and feels less human. Then there’s invertebrates, very few people feel guilt eating a crab, they’ll even justify boiling lobsters alive if you tell them it tastes better! After all, is that even REALLY a face? Which part is their mouth? What are those creepy antennae? Perhaps it isn’t even fit to eat since it looks so alien to humans.

Even for the plight of an insect most ARAs can stand by their principle, but what is it that makes plants and mushrooms different? No, they don’t have a face, but they still respond to different stimuli, plants and fungi can even send messages to others in their colony to warn of danger and more that we don’t really understand yet.

The average person doesn’t care about squashing a bug because they don’t see enough of themselves in it to care about its life, so why do ARAs see no issue in harming plants and fungi just because they don’t see enough similarity between them and animals?

To live, you have to take away from the life of another. That’s how life works. You can adjust your diet to suit your ethics, I certainly do, but if you’re going to try to guilt and force it on others then you could at least try to be less hypocritical.

[that-gay-jedi]

Sometimes I have to remind myself that the entire reason I like Anakin is bc he represents the wounded, hungry, untameable parts of me that I've spent years learning to work with & if I can see him as redeemable then I can love myself too. That's practically the first thing I ever wrote when I joined this hellsite, but I forget sometimes because I see the goodness he was capable of.

I have thought many times (and wrote once) that "that's not just darkness, that's MY darkness" and that his worst moments remind me of things I work very hard not to do (although I should revise that, because it isn't as difficult as it used to be).

This isn't to say Anakin is pure anti-example. He has many genuinely admirable qualities. Thing is, so do the fucked up, starved, out of control etc parts of ourselves when they're integrated in healthy ways. That's why we all have them! This applies to traits I would not necessarily assign to Anakin either, of course.

My fundamental experience of healing from trauma has been learning that thoughts and feelings are never inherently corrosive things that need to be contained, restrained or nullified. They are more like species of animals that serve an indispensable purpose in their proper habitat, but become troublesome and destructive when taken into an environment not their own.

To cultivate a mindset that's both rational and compassionate, to be tranquil and warm, one would metaphorically fish the cow out of the aquarium, stop feeding the tiger vegetables, clear invasive species out of one's emotional ecosystem and provide enrichment to anything one chooses to cage.

Villains and their foils provide an arena in which to experiment with how (and how not to) do this without direct impact on the real world, and in a much richer and more evocative way than trolly problems.

Selfish You is an injured and/or misdirected expression of the part of you that knows you deserve life and happiness just as much as anyone else, and that the person whose wellbeing you're most ethically obligated to keep in mind is your own- "don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm" lives here, but so does "don't make anyone else responsible for your happiness." With time and practice we eventually find that we're most considerate and kind to others when we stand up for ourselves.

Angry You exists to protect you (and everyone you love, and everything you value including concepts/principles/ideals) from various threats. So does Frightened You. These are survival emotions and they serve an evolutionary purpose, we only need to be open to examine when and how they're appropriate to act on and when the Survival Brain is taking you somewhere you don't want to go.

Envious You tells you when your situation is unsuitable to you in some way, and/or when you're being treated unfairly. Like Selfish You, it both urges you to value yourself enough to stand up to cruel or exploitative treatment, and to take responsibility for your own wellbeing and your relationship to yourself.

Jealous You not only shows you who and what you're afraid of losing, but highlights the unique qualities in yourself that you might worry are not enough for the world or your loved ones (you are enough, and if you love someone who doesn't think so, perhaps they don't deserve you). It also shows us the admirable qualities in others that we can appreciate if we can get past the initial protective reactions- which is to say, the strength to be found in community.

Those are just some examples, but you can extrapolate this to pretty much any quality a villain redeemed or otherwise in media is going to have, and quite a lot of the unpleasantness you'll run into irl too.

Basically all of life is in one way or another about allowing emotions to be what they are appropriately. Because it sucks ass to just let your cow sink in the aquarium, but we also cannot make our feelings anything they're not.

[witch-hazels-musings]

LESBIAN ASS COMING IN ok maybe all the girls because last i checked there were only three and thats your max SO them with a super affectionate s/o?? like they are constantly holding their hand or leaning against them?? or maybe even koala hugging them with the tall ladies 🍓

Affections TM

( I hope this display of incredibly soft, hard working woman getting some affection warms your heart!! <3 ) 

Warning -> Fluff / SFW

Character X FM Reader | Anthology 

Includes: Beidou, Jean, Ningguang

Beidou

It doesn’t matter how close or far apart you are from her, she will still find herself drawn to you -- luckily she never has to look very hard because most of the time you are right by her side 

She might turn to see you gazing at her, the smile on your face so telling of the affections in your heart -- she’ll be standing at the side of her massive ship and feel the sweet embrace of your arms around her, the comfort of your chest against her back and no matter how chilly the water seems, you’ll always make her warm

She doesn’t mind the close contact, oftentimes she welcomes it, the only thing she worries about is your safety when things start to get unsteady on the choppy seas - but you’ve proven to her how capable you can be in all your skills 

The sea was calm, the steady dip and sway of the Crux a constant reminder of the mysteries below. How deep did the water go - what lay just out of her sight and would she ever see the secrets of the depths. Her hands pressed against the deck railing, shoulders locking into place as she leaned against the boat. It was a test to see if your legs could handle the bobbing of the unsteady and, at times, unpredictable ocean temperament but after years of journeying these vast waters, she had no issues. 

She closed her eyes and took in the smell of salt mixed with pitch and tar. She’d grown accustomed to the combination but recalled the days where the scent made her retch. Breathing in again, she took in a new scent. Roses and lavender, with a hint of mischief. 

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” Beidou asked, her eyes opening to see you standing in between her arms. 

“I couldn’t -- I missed you.” Your smile was as bright as the moon, your fingers as soft as flower petals, voice as delicious as a good bottle of wine. As your fingers ran over her lips she allowed herself to divulge into the taste. “Shouldn’t you also be asleep, captain?” Your tone was playful, experiencing the residual effects of the giggle she coaxed out of your moments before. 

“I wanted to check on things, my duties never rest even if I must.” Beidou stepped forward, her hands remaining on the railing even though her body drifted closer to you. The distance didn’t seem to bother you as your arms quickly wrapped around her waist to hold her even closer. 

“Then I will check on things with you.” 

“Will you now?” She asked, laughing. 

“Mhm, you can count on me.” 

She adored you and it was easy to see that you returned her feelings -- you always found ways to shower her in your attention, in your affection, and she found herself expecting great things every day 

Tonight though, under the light of the moon she took you in her arms and swayed with the help of the ship and the constant, drifting waves 

Jean

There are times when she wishes that she can be more available to you, but with all the duties on her plate, she finds it hard to spend more than a few moments here and there. She hopes you understand that her distance isn’t directed at you -- she promises to take every moment that she can to spend it with you 

It’s the quick embraces in her office that fill her battery, it’s the soft touches and reassuring gestures that remind her you are happy being with someone so busy, it’s the tender kisses on the cheek when no other eyes can see where she finds herself the most thankful

She never imagined that she’d have someone so incredible as you in her life -- sometimes she wonders if divulging in your generosity, your kindness, your love isn’t selfish … but how could she let anyone else see what you give her every day 

Pacing her office was a habit of hers. It helped keep the blood in her legs flowing as she worked longer hours than those around her would like. It wasn’t often that she was able to leave, who knows what might happen if she did. Who might need her advice, support, or solution, so this was the best thing she could get to be physical at times. 

Every once in a while she had conversations with Lisa, maybe even finding the chance to stalk Kaeya if only to collect the work he was supposed to return -- though he frequently evaded her. More often than not, she dealt with Klee and her own restless habit. At least Jean’s pacing wouldn’t blow a hole in one of the walls of Mondstadt. 

Her mind drifted, her finger pressing against her lips as she worked through the problems outlined in front of her. It was up to her to figure them all out, how exhausting. Jean jumped when she felt something slide around her stomach, her head twisting to see who was entering her space but, when she saw you, her demeanor relaxed substantially. 

“You looked stressed.” Your head rested against her, chin finding ground against her shoulder as you looked at her with a tender expression. 

“There is a lot to do, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.” She placed her hands onto yours, her thumbs rubbing over your skin. 

“Maybe you don’t need to handle them at all?” Jean’s brows furrowed, her eyes shifting as she tried to understand your comment. “I mean, you could give them to someone else you know, delegate.” 

“A-ah … then that would just pass the workload onto another, I couldn’t do that.” 

“You are quite an impressive woman, Jean, but you can’t do it all alone.” 

“It’s my duty …” 

“I know, I know.” You pressed a kiss to her neck, the tightness of your embrace increasing as you showed her you understood her position. “How about taking a break then? You need to rest.” You didn’t wait for her to argue. Slowly you brought her to the couch in the corner of her office, making sure she settled into the seat next to you. 

“You can keep working if you want, but I’m not letting you get up from here, not for a while anyway.” Jean sighed and resigned herself to your win. 

It was easier to give in than try and fight against you anyway, this is why you always won. She had a soft spot for you -- your consideration of her, your patience, your strong will to get her to take some time. You helped her more than she could ever say, and far more than she could ever repay 

There was a stir, a shift that pulled Jean from her sleep and when she analyzed her surroundings, she found you resting peacefully on her shoulder. Your hand wrapped around her arm, a blanket draped over the both of you. You looked so peaceful, content -- she smiled and couldn’t deny this was the first time in weeks she felt fully rested 

Ningguang

She’s a woman who knows what she wants - the determination, strictness, focus that she has for everything that she does is so incredible there are few that think she must be more than human 

Reservation, Composure, Proper - all of these describe how she interacts with others, and when it comes to you she is no different 

In the light of the public eye, she treats you with respect -- behind closed doors, she behaves much more attached for she prefers to have you by her side if at all possible - to bathe in your company is like basking in the gaze of Morax himself 

Ningguang surrounded herself with documents. Her desk was nearly littered with them, leaving only enough room for a few spare items here and there. It seemed that there was more work to be done after the fall of the Jade Palace and, while she wished to start working on plans for the future, it seemed all her attention was shackled to the present. 

Knocking out her pipe into the ashtray, she let it rest so she could stand and organize the current state of work orders piling up behind her. Attendants came and went, their proper work ethic motivating her to continue - how could she expect those around her to keep working hard if she let herself slack. There would be plenty of time to rest once these were through … when that would be though was a question she didn’t have the answers to. 

There was a knock at the door, her attention drawn to the soft rapping of knuckles on the rich wooden frame and, when she saw you standing there patiently, she grew more at ease. 

“Come in.” She beckons, resting the documents on the table before making her way toward you. 

“Are you busy?” You asked, looking over her shoulder at the pile of documents on her desk. While it may appear to others that her duties were smothering, it was common practice for Ningguang to keep records of nearly anything she did. 

“There are still many tasks ahead, which we will get to when the time comes. To what do I owe the pleasure?” She felt your fingers wrap around hers and with a soft smile, she let you take them. 

“Would you object to me just … hang around for a while?” Your expression was nervous, it was as if you were never fully confident in your standing with her. 

“I wouldn’t object, besides, having something nice to look at while one works is good for the heart.” She pushed your chin up as if to remind you to always be yourself around her and when your lips stretched into a smile she knew, once again, that she was right in choosing you. 

How could another be allowed to look at your face? How could she handle the thought of you being taken by another -- she often looked at you with eyes you’d swore knew all the answers but love often makes one unsure -- and she was still surprised that you choose a woman like her 

A woman who came from nothing, who fought and crawled her way to the place she was today - yet, she couldn’t help but feel that when you looked at her, when your hand rested in hers, when your fingers ran across her skin, that you saw her for the woman she was - nothing more, nothing less - she could be completely herself in your presence 

As she continued to work and you offered your input where you could, the two of you never let go of the other hand 

--

tag list: 

@clemmywrites @sufzku @plenilunegazes @lucacandy @marianadibenea @nonniechan @jaemjenjam @softlybeloved @excitedlysuffering

[itsuki-minamy]

RED CASE FILES: HOMRA IN LAS VEGAS

CHAPTER 3: SNAKE HUNTER

* List of Chapters

Translation: Naru-kun Raws: Ridia

He woke up to a regular screeching sound.

The man lifted his sweat-soaked upper body. He felt that he had a terrible nightmare, but he did not remember it well. He was thirsty. While trying to find the water, he noticed something unusual.

The room was completely dark. He couldn't even see a bit ahead. He thought about the light and soon realized that it was a misunderstanding.

The room was not dark, but his eyes did not see.

"What is this?"

The sweat that broke out was mixed with cold things. It was astonishing. The sound of metal screeching echoed and his body trembled.

"Where I am?"

The man put his hand on his head and tried to remember why he was there.

At that moment, he heard the sound of the door opening from somewhere, and then, someone spoke.

"Hello, Mr. Mizuchi. Are you awake?"

She was a woman and she spoke English. As he made some guesses, Mizuchi asked in a firm voice.

"Who are you?"

"Me? Yes, call me Jane."

Mizuchi laughed with his nose.

"Anonymous woman, Jane? Do you mean you are not going to reveal your identity?"

"I don't care what the name is. The question is what the contents are."

So it was. Mizuchi fell silent and waited for the next action from the woman, Jane.

In the dark, there was the sound of a chair being dragged. He believed that she sat down. The sound of screeching metal echoed again, and his body trembled. Jane began to speak.

"Koushi Mizuchi. Former "Seven Kamado Chemotherapy Research Center Director" and Former "Gold Clan Member, Tokijikuin". I read your dissertation on the study of different abilities. It is a very original point of view. However, there is one slight lack of ethics."

Mizuchi remained silent and listened to the words.

"Your defeat was, after all, due to that lack of ethics. An incompetent person who doesn't belong to the clan who collects Strains and repeats human experimentation, creating things that were close to human weapons. It was not good that you were caught by the "Golden King". That adult is the type to swallow everything along with the voice, but he is angry enough not to forgive such outrages."

"It is scandalous?"

Mizuchi bit down hard on his back teeth and scratched his temple. The memory evoked by the words turned into a stabbing pain that grated at the back of his brain.

"My experiment was to artificially create a "King". If that happened, humanity would have made great strides! Before that innovation, is it scandalous and inhumane? The history of human beings has shown that there is no progress without sacrifice."

As if to beat the pain, Mizuchi slammed his fist into the sleeper. Over and over, as the sleeper shrieked and thrashed, Mizuchi's eyes began to heat up and water.

"That! That man! Mikoto Suoh! The violent "King" who can only rampage! Why did the 'Slate' empower such a primitive man?! Is that also the power of the "King"?" There's a lot of stupidity!"

If he could see, he should have known that they were not tears, but blood vomited from emotion. However, Mizuchi didn't realize that. He continued to spew anger and curses, hitting the sleeper.

Jane, who was watching him, leaked out a voice saying "Hmm."

"As reported. There seems to be a slight change in personality."

"What?!"

"Mr. Mizuchi. Do you remember why you are here?"

Saying that, Mizuchi tried to trace his memory.

After being arrested as a criminal involved in a different skill, Mizuchi was imprisoned in a detention center owned by "Tokijikuin". After being deprived of the investigation site and spending days in disappointment, he was finally sent to the trial site. He was pushed into the transfer vehicle while immobilized, and the engine started.

He did not remember from that moment.

"We were the ones who rescued you from "Tokijikuin". However, the security there was considerable and we had to use some violent means. There were no deaths, but there were some injuries. One of them is you."

"......"

"The doctor told me that the shock of the "rescue" caused a slight damage to your brain. It was said that it was that effect that made you blind, and that it might have affected your personality as well. What do you think of yourself?"

It was a messy story. He didn't know who they were, but he understood that they were causing him a terrible experience.

Still, for some reason it was crazy.

"Fufufufufufufu... Yes. Did you help me? I have to thank you. Thank you very much, Anonymous."

It was difficult to control the emotions that suddenly arose. Mizuchi calmly analyzed his state. Was it the effect of the "brain damage" that Jane said? Either one was fine. The situation was more important than the condition.

At that time, Mizuchi analyzed that situation as follows.

"So? Is it because of the idea of ​​retiring to the United States that you helped me?"

Jane seemed a bit shocked, and Mizuchi laughed again.

"What surprises you? It is a well-known fact that each country targets different talented technologies. If you assure me even using hard means, it is overwhelming to think that it is the work of intelligence agencies in other countries."

"Why is United States?"

"Your English, it's a beautiful English accent. If you're a first class intelligence agent, you probably have both. There are many intelligence agencies in the world, but the number is limited when it comes to "first class". Among them, The United States is particularly excited about research on different skills."

Mizuchi smiled and leaned forward.

"In the last World War, the United States led the war against Germany and won a spectacular victory. However, the miraculous relic that was supposed to be obtained there, the "Dresden Slate", was kidnapped by Kokujoji Daikaku at the tip of our noses. If the research on the different abilities obtained from the "Slate" brought unprecedented prosperity to Japan, which should have been a defeated country, it would be a disappointment for the United States not to have that."

"......"

"Of course, the United States also started to research different abilities in a hurry, but unfortunately, both "King" and Strain basically occur only around the "Slate". Research cannot proceed in such an environment. All they can do is to kidnap a talented investigator and give them a small Slate."

Mizuchi lowered his unseen eyes. Metal screeched and his body trembled. He was slowly beginning to understand where he was.

"For now, is this place on a ship you own? Is it still in Japan's territorial waters or has it already gone out to sea? In any case, you are in control of my death. If I don't accept your "suggestion", will I be a food for fish?"

Mizuchi doesn't know what Jane is like. However, there was a small laugh.

"We don't do such savagery to our precious investigators. Fortunately, we are long-suffering. Let's have a good discussion."

Mizuchi laughed.

"In short, I'm not letting go until you nod."

"It costs a fair amount of money too. First, you probably didn't want it. What if you could go back to Japan? You'd be connected to the detention center again, and that's it."

That fact could not be denied by Mizuchi.

Mizuchi was an unmistakable criminal. A villain who had abused the power of "Tokijikuin" and repeated human experimentation. "Tokijikuin" will be following his whereabouts. That is, the very nation of Japan was persecuting him.

Japan was definitely Mizuchi's homeland. There was a certain amount of attachment. But if he didn't have a place to study, it was just a barren desert for Mizuchi.

Jane said, as if she had seen through the idea.

"Let's stop the confusing negotiations. We will provide you with a new place for investigation, and you will provide us with the results of your investigation. Is that enough?"

That was exactly correct. This was Mizuchi's "second life" that was about to end. His knowledge, technique and "talent" were once again in the open, which was more important than anything else.

The joy that welled up could not be suppressed. Mizuchi shook his shoulders and started laughing. He could continue with his investigation. He could look beyond other possibilities. It was the best gospel for Mizuchi. If that were the case, it wouldn't be a problem if the brain was slightly damaged, the personality was transformed, or the sight was lost.

And, in fact, they were not lost.

Mizuchi spread her arms in the direction Jane would be facing and yelled.

"Okay. I accept your transaction. First of all, let's give him a lecture on what the different skills are! Fufufufufufufufufu!"

Of course, he didn't realize that Jane looked creepy to Mizuchi's uncontrollable laughter.

++++++++++

"Something like that happened half a year ago."

Fushimi gave a stagnant look to the man who said it with a smile.

Hairstyle parted seventy-three, silver-rimmed glasses, masked smile, and navy blue three-piece suit. He was a man who looked like an elite office worker or a bank clerk somewhere, and of course he wasn't the kind of person who would come to the "Scepter 4" camp.

The only one apart from the golden seal of "Tokijikuin".

This man who showed up without an appointment arrived at Munakata's office without any hindrance because he was wearing the seal. There is no doubt that the "Tokijikuin" Golden Clan is the most influential organization in Japan today. Even in front of Reisi Munakata, the "Blue King", the man did not try to break the attitude worthy of him, albeit in a humorous manner.

"It was our fault that Mizuchi was kidnapped. There are various kinds of interference from other countries, but I didn't expect to take such direct action. There is a "Usagi" in the escort. Not having it was one of the reasons for the failure."

"That's it."

Munakata looked at the business card placed on the office desk and read the characters written on it.

"Tanaka Hitoshi, a special diplomat from the "Ministry of Foreign Affairs"...?"

"Of course, it's a pseudonym."

With a smile, Tanaka simply said that.

"We have no name. We are "Usagis", just terminals to become your limbs and fulfill your wishes. But when it comes to working abroad, that look is too flashy. I decided to dress up a bit."

Munakata heard him and laughed.

"As expected, "Tokijikuin", do you mean that you can create or delete humans who don't care? It's a word that we who belong to the family registry section can't easily ignore."

"Covert operations are common sense in this world. We recognize that the people of the Blue clan may understand that they contribute to the national interest just as we do."

The roundabout interchange seemed to let the tongue slip. Barely holding himself back, Fushimi urged the story first.

"So? What is the Golden clan to us?"

Tanaka looked at Fushimi. A smile like a mask gave off a strange feeling that he would never know what he was thinking.

"That's right, let's explain step by step."

As Tanaka operated the PDA, a window emerged into thin air. A map of Tokyo and a close-up photo of part of it. A convoy and a suspected car overturned and debris was scattered.

"The means by which the thief secured Mizuchi was nonviolent. He pushed a large truck from the side into a convoy car that was stopped at a traffic light, and when it overturned, it burned out the rear seat lock and packed Mizuchi's body in the truck. Well, it was smart to take such a step."

"It's bold, but it's effective."

Tanaka nodded at Munakata's impression.

"In fact, although it was violent, their performance was perfect. The personnel in charge of the escort could not do anything and shot them down, and no one noticed the thief. Further investigation found traces of someone's work in the surrounding surveillance cameras and traffic lights that stopped the convoy. It is definitely a professional job. "

"How about tracking down the truck that secured Mizuchi?"

Tanaka operated his PDA. The red dotted line, which appeared to have moved the truck, extended from the point of the accident to the western part of Tokyo.

"Since the truck itself wasn't visible, it took a while to narrow it down, but we managed to figure out the route of travel. However, where they headed was…"

Munakata narrowed his eyes at the place where the dotted line stopped.

"Is it Zoshuku Kurayado Station? I see."

"The number of daily users at Zoshuku station is 3.5 million. It is the largest number of people in the world, which is also listed in the Guinness Book of Records. They got lost there and disappeared. The truck was found in the parking lot on the sixth floor of the basement connected to this station, but of course it was a hollow shell."

"What is the identity of the truck?"

"A shipping company in Tokyo was robbed the day before the incident. The driver was also found in the toilet at Zoshuku station. He was blindfolded and had earplugs and testified that he did not remember anything."

Fushimi sighed and summarized the story.

"In short, you have been frank. That is not the answer to this question at all. What does that have to do with us?"

"It is from here that we can have a relationship."

Tanaka smiled and operated his PDA. The map of Tokyo immediately disappeared and became a world map. Among them, Japan was marked with a large red cross.

"An organization that is so audacious and capable of committing such detailed crimes cannot be considered a national one. Public institutions are under our control, and private organizations are unlikely to make an enemy of "Tokijikuin". If so, they are organizations abroad."

A number of red circles appeared on the world map in the window. United States, United Kingdom, China, Russia. Munakata muttered as looked it.

"Koushi Mizuchi was indeed a talented investigator."

"That's right. Until now, Japan, which has the "Slate", is at the forefront of research on different skills. Excellent researchers are what every country wants more than anything else."

"A foreign intelligence agency stole Mizuchi?"

Tanaka nodded and said the names one by one.

"Central Intelligence Agency CIA, Confidential Information Department SIS, Federal Security Service FSB, Ministry of State Security, after investigating various foreign intelligence departments, we finally got a "hit". That's it..."

One of the dots on the world map was highlighted. A huge entertainment city that shines like a resplendent jewel while surrounded by deserts in the navel of the North American continent.

"Las Vegas, Nevada, USA. Mizuchi's appearance was confirmed here."

More photos appeared on the Las Vegas map. The man was holding a cup and laughing in front of a table with red carpets, gold chandeliers, luxurious dishes and numerous sakes.

Although his eyes were covered with something like goggles, Fushimi was still familiar with that man's face. Sledding and mumbling.

" Mizuchi."

"This is a photo taken three days ago. Koushi Mizuchi is in Las Vegas. Perhaps he is backed by a powerful intelligence agency. And even more troublesome: now the "Red King" is also heading to Las Vegas."

Munakata's eyebrows twitched.

"His departure was recently confirmed. It is true that the "King" is not prohibited from going abroad, but fate is a problem. The "Red King" is also heading to Las Vegas. In Las Vegas, where Koushi Mizuchi is waiting for them, who has many ties to them."

The flow of history came into view. Munakata's words made that clear.

"It can't be a coincidence."

"Yes. We believe that Mikoto Suoh's trip to Las Vegas was due to Mizuchi's work. The purpose is unknown, but I don't think I invited him to warm up the old relationship."

Munakata leaned back in the chair and put his finger to his lips.

"Revenge or experiment? Either way, Mizuchi will interfere with Mikoto Suoh. What will happen then? I wish we could have a skirmish."

"Assuming the worst case scenario, there is a possibility of a royal blowup happening in Las Vegas. If that happens, it's not a diplomatic issue. It will look like the start of a war between Japan and the United States."

"Would it be World War III? It's definitely a world crisis."

As he smiled coldly, Munakata looked at Fushimi.

"Fushimi-kun. When you were in the Red Clan, did you ever interact with Mizuchi's camp? I remember seeing a race like that."

Tanaka nodded with a smile like a mask.

"Yes. I came here because there are qualified personnel. A person who knows Mizuchi, has a connection to the Red Clan, and belongs to "Scepter 4". We, before going to Las Vegas, definitely want to borrow Saruhiko Fushimi."

Fushimi didn't answer and just stared at his toes. It was as if he could make his existence transparent.

Of course, that didn't happen. Once manifested, Fushimi's body was tightly entwined and he was about to be dragged to Las Vegas, far beyond the sea.

"Then Fushimi-kun, it's a business order. Go save the world."

Munakata said that lightly, Fushimi clicked his tongue at least in resistance.

++++++++++

"I see. You are too harsh, there are several things."

Shaking the cocktail glass, Kusanagi laughed. Fushimi didn't try to hide his grumpy expression, instead he stood up with his hand in his pocket.

Maroon Hotel, 1st Floor, Casino Floor. This place, which is directly connected to the reception hall, was packed with many tourists. Most hotels in Las Vegas have a casino, which is open to non-guests. The minimum bet was also a welcome casino floor for the light class, starting at $1.

In such a place, the appearance of Fushimi standing instead of sitting on his seat was unpleasantly noticeable. The poker dealer where Kusanagi sat also looked suspicious. Kusanagi pointed to the seat next to him with his chin and said.

"Well, sit down."

Fushimi thought for a bit and then sat down on the stool. Kusanagi stops the bunny-shaped waitress and picks up the gimlet from the tray. The drink they serve is a service drink, but as a courtesy, the waitress smiled dazzlingly as he put the dollar bills on the tray.

"Thank you, Mister."

"My Pleasure, Lady."

With a giggle, the waitress pats Kusanagi's chest, a card with contact information in his pocket. Kusanagi lowered his gaze and then looked at the back of the departing waitress.

Fushimi called out in a sulky tone.

"Have you heard of those people?"

"Hmm? Well..."

Kusanagi put the gimlet in front of Fushimi as if to blur.

"It's Mizuchi. It's a name I haven't heard. Sake tastes bad."

"......"

Fushimi pursed his lips awkwardly. When Kusanagi visually showed him the gimlet, he reluctantly picked it up. Kusanagi met him there with his cocktail glass.

"Cheers."

Fushimi apologized for wetting his lips with alcohol and then complained.

"I mean, please tell the answering machine the name of the hotel you're staying at."

"Haha, sorry. Sorry... No, did you bring them? I will, travel expenses weren't cheap either."

"The cost is financed by "Tokijikuin". It seems that there is a crisis in the world, so it is better to have more manpower."

"Suddenly it became important."

Kusanagi laughed, there was a call from the vendor as if he couldn't cash it.

"Mister?"

"Oh, sorry."

After apologizing lightly, Kusanagi paid a tip for the entry fee and the first round began. He tipped Fushimi in the same way, and he looked at Kusanagi annoyed. However, Kusanagi calmly dismissed his gaze and confirmed the cards dealt.

"Well? Won't you tell me?"

"Mikoto-san... Talk to Mikoto Suoh, please return to Japan immediately. Now I have a backup of "Tokijikuin"."

Kusanagi laughed with his nose. Of the three participants, one got off and two stayed. He looks at Fushimi and ask.

"Why don't you go? Leave or retire?"

"Kusanagi-san..."

"Tell me about the betting player at the table."

Fushimi clicked his tongue at him and spoke.

The dealer collected all the chips in play in front of him and the second round began. Of the five community cards lined up in the center, three had been revealed. 4 of spades, 7 of clubs, 9 of diamonds. Kusanagi gasped as he looked at the cards laid out.

"You can tell from the fact that you were in "Homura". It's dangerous, so pack your bags and run away. Is that so? Do you think we'll obey?"

"I do not believe that."

Fushimi bet $5 of his chips. One of the participants withdrew and the other called. Kusanagi laughed and proceeded in the same way.

"Well, that's the correct answer for me. If it's about Mikoto, please ask me. I wonder if she remembers Mizuchi?"

"......"

"But, Fushimi. I also belong to "Homura"."

Third round. The fourth community card was revealed. Three of Diamond. Fushimi looked at him and said a bit.

"That's fine with you, but what about Anna?"

Kusanagi turned his gaze from the card to Fushimi.

"Mizuchi targets "Homura". It should include Anna. What if he tries to use Anna again as experimental material? There is also a backup of the intelligence agencies there. Can you protect her in a foreign country where you don't understand the language and culture?"

Another customer wagered a $5 chip. Kusanagi glared at him and raised a $10 chip.

"Don't get me wrong. Fushimi."

Silent anger was hidden in the murmuring voice. Fushimi was impressed at that voice.

"Did you forget what Mizuchi did? He killed Anna's parents. Thanks to him, Anna couldn't live a normal life."

"......"

Fushimi called without saying anything. The other guest withdrew, leaving only two people, Kusanagi and Fushimi, on the field.

The final round. The last card revealed: The King of Diamonds.

"Why should we run away from Mizuchi? Is the one who ran away from us out there? When Mizuchi ran away for a bit, I only regretted that he was locked in a cage from the bottom of my heart."

Kusanagi took a sip of the cocktail and laid out all the cards he had.

Fushimi sighed deeply. It was a reaction that said a job that was known to fail from the start had failed.

"Well then, at least..."

While meeting Kusanagi's eyes, Fushimi also slid all the tiles on the table forward.

"If I win this, promise me you won't stand out. I won't tell you to run away. Listen seriously to me and the "Tokijikuin" council."

Huh, Kusanagi laughed. He expected Fushimi to go down there, but why was he so tenacious? As a former senior, he couldn't run away.

"Yes. I'll take it."

Confrontation.

Fushimi revealed his hand. 5 of spades and 6 of hearts. 34567 straight.

And Kusanagi also turned his hand to the front.

"I'm sorry, Fushimi."

Ace of Diamonds and Q of Diamonds. It is a role higher than a ladder.

"The "Red King" is like my ally."

Saying that, Kusanagi hit Fushimi's gimlet with his cocktail glass.