#this was supposed to be a drabble but turned out a lot longer than anticipated

[motelsnleatherseats]

Sam's always been possessive of Dean, from the way a child is possessive of their parent. It made sense, considering his big brother was always his constant, always the one to take care of him and save him from the heartache of parent abandonment. He never liked when Dean would take too long talking to someone, or when his trips to the store always ran over time, but Dean thinks it's normal cause Sammy's always been a little clingy.

Things start to change once Dean's showing more interest in girls, and Sam is no longer pouting from a distance, but starting to interject, sometimes physically. It starts with him gluing himself to Dean's side, making his presence and annoyance known with little huffs of impatience. Then he starts to pull at his sleeve or bump into his side, trying to coerce him to get out of whatever company he has so he doesn't have to share.

It completely catches Dean off guard when Sam comes back from the bathroom and suddenly sits on his lap as he's chatting up the waitress. The look of surprise is evident between them both and Dean attempts to scoot back to push Sam off of him but he doesn't budge, and he doesn't stop staring down the waitress either until she walks away, and it's only then that Sam takes his spot across from Dean without another word, refusing to respond to brother's 'what the hell?'

There are nights when Dean tries to take advantage of when Sam's extra tired, knowing that he'll sleep through pretty much anything or at least be dazed enough to blur the edges of his reality. He risks bringing a girl into the motel room and having a make-out session on the couch while Sam's in the far end of the room in bed, but he feels uneasy, and with a glance back towards his little brother, he swears he can see his eyes even in the dark.

Sam says nothing about it the following day, but he watches Dean like a hawk and is quick to stand whenever he looks like he's getting ready to go somewhere. It's only when Sam literally backs himself up against the door to keep him from leaving that he calls him out on it.

"Sammy, what the hell, man. You're actin' like a yorkie with separation anxiety," he sighed, not with frustration, more so concern. Sam's been acting more out of pocket lately than usual, but he hasn't been talking about it. Then again, Dean hasn't been asking either.

"Why do you need to go and see girls?" Sam asked not even a beat afterward, straight to the point. Dean inwardly groaned. It wasn't like his little brother was a kid anymore, he was 15 and had surely gotten the sex ed thing from school at some point. Plus it's not like he wasn't a good lookin' guy. Sure, he was a little gangly, maybe a little too nerdy for some, but girls sometimes liked the bookish ones.

"Because a man has needs, little bro. Between my libido and your puberty, there's a little too much testosterone in here for my liking."

Sam doesn't appear phased but his eyes are intense, like he's looking for a sign to act. Dean's caught off guard by that look, and his expression reflects his confusion with a small tilt of his head and a furrow of his brows.

"I can take care of your needs."

"What? Sam, no. You're not getting it--"

"You want to get your dick wet, I get it. I can do that."

Dean's face drained of blood, the rest of it rushing through his body like a cold chill. Sam's suggestion, let alone choice of words, had him caught like a deer in headlights.

"I see the way you look at me sometimes, Dean. Like the way you look at girls. When you think I don't notice," Sam continued on, and Dean gave a nervous laugh, his brain scrambling to come up with some kind of rebuttal. A denial. Anything. He took a step back when Sam moved towards him, feeling like it was some kind of a trap. It had to be.

"S-Sam, you don't know what you're talking about. I don't look at you like that, you're my brother." His feet are moving back on their own accord as Sam matched his pace, like he's cornering his prey. His heart pounds, making his entire chest feel like it's vibrating.

"It's okay, Dean. I like it when you look at me like that," Sam replied, reaching a hand out towards his big brother that Dean tries to avoid, but the backs of his knees make contact with the bed and all the sudden Sam is right up against him. "It makes me feel good. I can make you feel good too."

Sam pushed Dean back to sit on the bed as the last word left his lips and he's quick to climb onto his lap, causing his brother to try and lean back and away from it, hands anchored into the sheets, white knuckling them to prevent them from doing anything stupid. Shit, shit, shit. This is really happening.

"Sam, don't--"

"Don't you want to feel good, Dean?" Sam asked with a voice all too sweet and pleading, straddling him as he moved to run a hand over his chest and Dean can swear that Sam can feel the heavy thumps of his heart against his palm. His breath is so shallow, he can't even really tell if he's breathing at all. "Don't you want to touch me?"

Dean swallowed hard, his lips parted and feeling dry all the sudden as he stared as his little brother with disbelief in his eyes. Did he? Would he admit it? All questions vanished as he felt Sam curl his fingers around the amulet he gifted him, giving it a little tug as if to tempt him further, to lure him in, and he reached up to take Sam's hand in a silent request to stop.

"Sammy, we can't, we're--"

"Brothers, I know. I don't care," he interrupted, shifting his fingers to curl around Dean's hand to prevent him from pulling away. "I want you to touch me, Dean. Please." He pulled out the big guns, his features softening; that damned puppy-dog eyed expression worked wonders on his brother. "Touch me."

Dean closed his eyes and gave a small squeeze to his little brother's hand, exhaling a defeated sigh through his nose.

"You can't ask this of me."

"I'm not asking, I'm telling," Sam replied, moving his free hand to the back of Dean's neck, leaning forward to push their chests together, doubling down on his efforts as he nuzzled against his cheek, corners of their mouth mere millimeters from each other. "Dean," he whispered and Dean tensed, his resolve a pendulum, swinging heavy in the direction of his little brother.

Much to Sam's delight, Dean caved and curled his arm around his waist, pressing their lips together in a kiss that had them surging together, any and all resistance to their sordid feelings disappeared in a millisecond. Sam gave a mix between a whimper and a moan against his brother's lips and Dean's back went rigid, nearly gasping at the sound. With things now set in motion, it was full steam ahead, and Dean twisted their forms to lay Sammy down on the bed, positioning himself above him as their lips and tongues eagerly explored new sensations until their lungs ached for air.

Dean leaned up after breaking the kiss, gazing down at his little brother with flushed cheeks and kiss-swollen lips, glossy with saliva and decorated with a smile. A genuine smile. Something Dean hadn't seen in a long time and it made his chest tighten. He watched as Sam moved his hands down to grip the hem of his shirt, lifting it off of his form to expose his slender torso, newly forming muscles under soft, unscarred skin that was just begging to be touched. Dean followed suit and remained hovering above him, the amulet swinging between them until Sam angled his chin forward to let his lips catch the adornment.

Dean shuddered. He literally felt his limbs go weak at the action, his cock suddenly throbbing as his body pulsed with heat. He leaned down to capture his lips again, letting his hands finally do as requested, touching over Sam's torso with reverence. Everything happened so quickly, yet it felt like time had suspended around them, their every sense flooded with each other.

The wet sounds of their kiss were decorated with moans and whimpers, their hands touching and exploring before buttons were being undone and the rest of their clothes were being dropped on the floor. Dean slotted between Sam's thighs and pressed their hips together, undulating and grinding, earning the prettiest sounds from his brother's mouth that rivaled even the most desperate of girls.

"Dean.. De~" Sam whined between kisses that were growing a little sloppy, his cock leaking messily against his abdomen, the rutting becoming even more slick as Dean gave heated grunts and breathy sounds. He wasn't going to last much longer, not with the way Sam was coming undone underneath him.

"Sammy, fuck, gonna cum.." Dean spoke, his voice broken, barely able to get the words out before he was shooting a hot, thick load across his little brother's tummy, Sam right behind him. His pretty pink lips fell agape, labored breaths and whimpers dripping from them like warm honey as his eyes unfocused and his lashes fluttered, his smaller form trembling as he came while panting his brother's name like a mantra or prayer.

They remained pressed together in the aftermath of their orgasms, catching their breath and letting the waves of pleasure slowly come to a dull tingle throughout their bodies. Sam enjoyed the weight of his brother pressed down on him, and Dean enjoyed the way Sam's arms stayed around him to keep him there, basking in his warmth and the scent of sweat and cum.

"Don't go out tonight," Sam requested, and Dean gave a breathless chuckle, reassuring him with a hand through his hair that those plans had long since been abandoned.

"I'm not going anywhere, Sammy. Just wanna stay right here with you."

[simjaexy]

𝘾𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙨 𝙈𝙮 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 | 𝙇.𝙃.

Pairing ⇀ Popular Bad Boy! Lee Heeseung x (F) Nerd! Reader

Synopsis ⇀ You were a nerd, always with your nose in a book, acing every test, and keeping a low profile. What comes as a normal life of yours soon takes a turn when your mom finally gets married to a man that you soon found out was Lee Heeseung dad, the school bad boy. Even though Heeseung doesn’t know you, he can’t help but want to corrupt you in every possible way. So what happens when new things start to unfold between you two that he’s never felt before with someone?

Genre ⇀ Smut, Angst

Warnings ⇀ MINORS DNI!!!, Cheating, Karina is Heeseung’s girlfriend, Cursing, Crying, Minor character death, Family issues (on Heeseungs side), Heeseung is mean and toxic to reader a lot of times, Partying, Drinking, Bullying, Jealousy, Kissing, Making out, Biting, Hickeys, Receiving (m&f), Blowjobs, Eating out, Dom! Heeseung x Sub! Reader, Name calling (nerd, princess, etc.), Grinding, Semi public sex, Overstimulation (f), Fingering, Jealous sex, Rough sex, Breeding kink

W.c ⇀ 12.4k (oops)

A/n ⇀ Hi guys :), this fic honestly was fun and long to make. I was gonna make it longer but since I’m making a Sunghoon fic soon Kndecided to just keep it simple (somewhat). If you guys want a request of another fic/drabble I would not mind at all! This fic is based off of this song so take a listen to it! None of these characters act like this in real life! Like, Comment, Reblog, etc.. Not proofread!

Second marriages were a bitch. As much as you loved seeing your mom feeling happy again, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of something missing. Your Happiness. You wouldn’t say you were exactly happy when your mom sat you down at the dining table and saying she was getting married.

You remember how nervous she sounded, her fingers fidgeting in stress. You didn’t know you could make her feel that way over marriage. You’ve always been close to your dad until he died. It was a hard time coping, which is why you bury yourself with books and studies. You were called a nerd by other people though, but that’s not the whole point why you were moving.

Moving into a new house was supposed to be a fresh start for you and your mom. After years of living alone, your mom finally found happiness with a man you didn’t know at all, and their marriage meant a new family dynamic.

You weren’t sure if the mysterious man however had a kid. You were hoping he didn’t, it would mean less problems to you and babysitting when they go out. Only if you knew who would be the person that would be with you and your happy little life from that day on.

“Is he rich?” You asked your mom who was driving you guys to the house. You noticed she was less nervous now, but still had her fidgeting habit going on.

“I didn’t marry him because he is rich sweetie. I married him because I loved him.” You mom replied.

You shrugged your shoulders, “So he is rich.” You mumbled. Your mom didn’t say anything and continued driving with the music low. You didn’t mention anything else after that.

You and your mom drove through the winding roads, the scenery gradually changing from modest homes to grand estates. Your heart raced with anticipation and curiosity.

Once your mom finally came to a stop at a big house, your mouth went agape. The mansion loomed ahead, an architectural masterpiece that seemed to stretch endlessly. The sprawling gardens were meticulously maintained, with fountains and statues dotting the landscape. You couldn't help but gape at the sheer size and opulence of it all.

"Wow," You whispered, more to yourself than anyone else.

Your mom glanced over at you with a knowing smile, "Impressive, isn't it? Mr. Lee has done very well for himself."

As you pulled up to the grand entrance, you couldn’t help but think of the last name. Lee? It’s sounded somewhat familiar to you, but you couldn’t put a finger on it.

As you guys got out the car, Mr. Lee stepped out to greet you, his smile as warm and welcoming as ever, "Welcome! I hope the drive wasn't too tiring," He said. He went over to your mom and gave her a quick peck to the lips. You mentally gag at the way they were already being loved dovey.

He then went towards you, giving you a quick handshake that you appreciated before he ushered you both inside.

The interior was just as breathtaking as the exterior, with high ceilings, elegant chandeliers, and art pieces that looked like they belonged in a museum. You tried to take it all in, but it was almost too much.

“This place is amazing," you said, still in awe. He chuckled softly, a hint of pride in his eyes.

"I'm glad you like it. Come on, let me show you around." He insisted. As you followed him through the grand halls and lavish rooms, you couldn't help but feel a little overwhelmed. It wasn’t something you were used too.

You were used to your cozy house that had a tiny garden on one side of your front yard, the claustrophobic hallway you used to run in when you were little. The small living room that only fitted up to five people. Thinking about your old house already felt nostalgic. Walking through this though, you didn’t know if you were gonna get used to it.

Mr. Lee finally came to a halt at the stairs and stared over at you, “The maid can show you your room. She knows where it’s at.”

You noticed a middle aged woman next to Mr. Lee smiling at you. You gave him a curt nod before following the maid upstairs. As you walked in the halls with the maid you couldn’t help but stare at the photos hung up.

You didn’t see any photos of a women or a kid anywhere with Mr. Lee, so maybe you really were gonna be the only child. Some part of that made you feel giddy. The maid finally stops at a door and opens it. You went inside in awe. Your room was beautiful to say the least.

The room was spacious, with high ceilings and large windows that let in streams of natural light. The walls were painted a soft pastel color, giving the room a serene and welcoming feel. A plush, king-sized bed sat in the center, adorned with fluffy pillows and a cozy duvet.

To one side of the room, there was a stylish desk with a comfortable chair, perfect for studying or writing. Shelves lined the walls, ready to be filled with your favorite books and trinkets. A beautiful vanity stood in one corner, complete with a large mirror and ample storage for all your beauty essentials.

The best part, however, was the view. Walking over to the windows, you pulled back the curtains and gasped. The room overlooked a stunning garden, filled with vibrant flowers and lush greenery. You could already imagine spending hours sitting by the window, enjoying the peaceful scenery.

You couldn't help but smile as you took it all in. This room was everything you had ever dreamed of and more. It was your own little sanctuary, a place where you could relax, unwind, and be yourself.

You turned to look over at the maid who was still smiling, “Beautiful isn’t it? It was my idea since I’m the only women in this house.” The maid chimed.

“It’s very beautiful. Thank you.” You responded. She gave you chuckle and a nod before slowly shutting the door, leaving you alone in the room.

As you started to unpack your belongings and make the room your own, you felt a sense of contentment wash over you. This was your new home, and you couldn't wait to create beautiful memories here.

The sun was setting when you finally finished unpacking a few boxes. You let out a sigh and wiped your sweat off your forehead. You checked the time and saw that it was almost time for you to head to sleep.

As you were about to move a box, you suddenly felt the random urge to use the restroom, “Now that I thought about it I haven’t you used the restroom all day.” You murmured to yourself. You opened your bedroom door and stepped out.

You wandered through the unfamiliar hallways of Mr. Lee’s mansion, trying to remember the directions he had given you to the bathroom. Every door looked the same, and you were starting to feel a bit lost.

Pushing open yet another door, you suddenly froze. There, in the middle of the room, stood a boy you knew all too well. Lee Heeseung, shirtless with only a towel wrapped around him. It seemed like he just got out of the shower since his hair was still wet. His eyes locked onto yours, and you felt your face heat up in embarrassment.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" You blurted out, quickly averting your gaze, "I was just looking for the bathroom.”

Heeseung's expression shifted to one of annoyance, "Do you always barge into rooms without knocking?" He snapped, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

"I-I didn't mean to," You stammered, feeling even more flustered. "I just got lost."

He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, making his muscles even more prominent, "Typical. Can't even follow simple directions from my dad."

You felt a mix of embarrassment and irritation at his rude comments, "Look, I said I was sorry. It was an accident. A-And your dad didn’t give me any directions!”

Heeseung scoffed, a scowl on his lips, "Whatever. Just get out of here."

You quickly backed out of the room, closing the door behind you. As you walked away, you couldn't help but feel a strange mix of emotions. Angry, embarrassed, upset, and flustered? You groaned as you entered your room again and slammed it shut. You plopped on your bed.

The thought suddenly came to you. Lee Heeseung owns this house too, and you don’t think he’s gonna be nice to you anytime soon. You sighed and rolled on your bed. You were just hoping tomorrow won’t go bad. And ignoring the fact that you still had to use the restroom.

The next morning, you groggily made your way down to the kitchen, still rubbing the sleep from your eyes. As you rounded the corner, you froze. There, standing by the kitchen island, was Heeseung, chatting casually with your mom and his dad. Your mom noticed you first and smiled warmly.

"Good morning, sweetie! Come here, I want you to meet someone," She said, beckoning you over. You walked over, feeling a bit nervous under Heeseung's gaze.

"This is Heeseung," Your mom introduced, "Mr. Lee son."

Heeseung smirked, looking you up and down. "Oh, so you're the one who lives here? I was wondering why the house felt so... ordinary."

You felt your face heat up with anger. He met you yesterday and now he’s gonna act like he doesn’t know you? The audacity! You forced a smile and replied, "Nice to meet you too, Heeseung."

Your mom looked between the two of you, clearly sensing the tension. "Well, I'm sure you'll get along just fine once you get to know each other," She said, trying to lighten the mood.

You shot Heeseung one last glare before turning on your heel and heading back to your room. You rather eat breakfast at school than in front of him.

You adjusted your glasses and gave yourself one last look in the mirror before grabbing your backpack. Today was going to be another long day at school, but you were ready for it. As you reached for the doorknob, the door swung open, and you found yourself face to face with Heeseung.

Heeseung leaned against the doorframe with a smirk playing on his lips, "Hey, nerd," He said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

You sighed, already feeling the tension, "What do you want, Heeseung?"

He stepped closer, his eyes narrowing. "Just a little reminder," He said, his tone turning serious, "When we're at school, don't act like we live together. In fact, don't act like you even know me."

You felt a pang of hurt but masked it with a cool expression, "Don't worry, Heeseung. I have no intention of ruining your reputation."

Heeseung's smirk returned, "Good. Just keep to yourself, and we'll be fine."

With that, he stepped aside, letting you pass. You walked down the hallway, feeling a mix of emotions. Living with Heeseung was already challenging, but pretending like you didn't know each other at school was going to be even harder.

As you walked out the door, you couldn't help but wonder why he cared so much about what others thought. But one thing was clear: you were determined to survive this, no matter how difficult Heeseung made it.

Classes slowly came along, you hated how tired you already were. But one thing for sure is that it was the walking this morning. You had to walk to school while Heeseung just drove right past you with his expensive car, not even offering to ask if you wanted a ride to the same damn school.

When it finally came to lunch you decided to go to the library, a place where you could immerse yourself in books and escape the chaos of high school life.

You were hunched over a thick biology textbook, diligently taking notes when you heard the familiar sound of giggles and whispers. You tried to ignore it, but the voices grew louder until they were impossible to tune out.

"Look at her, always with her nose in a book," One of the girls sneered. "Does she think she’s better than us?"

You kept your eyes on your notes, hoping they would get bored and leave. But they didn’t.

"Hey, nerd," Another girl said, leaning over your table and blocking your view, "Do you even have a life outside of studying?"

You swallowed hard, trying to keep your composure, “I’m just trying to study. Can you please leave me alone?"

The girls laughed, and one of them snatched your notebook, “Oh, look at this! She’s taking notes like a good little student."

You reached out to grab your notebook back, but they held it out of reach, teasing you. Just then, you saw Heeseung walk past the library entrance. Your heart leaped with a strange mix of hope and anxiety. Surely, he would help you. After all, you shared a house, even if he pretended you didn’t exist at school.

"Heeseung!" you called out, your voice wavering slightly.

Heeseung paused for a moment, his eyes meeting yours. But instead of coming to your aid, he simply looked away and continued walking, as if you were invisible.

The girls burst into laughter again, "Even Heeseung doesn’t care about you. How pathetic."

You felt a lump form in your throat, but you refused to cry in front of them. Summoning all your strength, you snatched your notebook back and gathered your things, leaving the library as quickly as you could.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. You couldn’t focus in class, your mind replaying the humiliating scene over and over. When the final bell rang, you headed home, determined to confront Heeseung.

You found him in the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge. "Heeseung, we need to talk," You said, your voice firm.

He glanced at you, raising an eyebrow, “What’s up, nerd?"

You took a deep breath, "Why didn’t you help me today? You saw those girls making fun of me, and you just walked away."

Heeseung shrugged, closing the fridge door, "Not my problem."

Your frustration boiled over, "How can you say that? We live together, Heeseung. You could have at least said something to them."

Heeseung leaned against the counter, crossing his arms, "Look, what happens at school stays at school. I’m not your babysitter. Deal with your own problems."

You stared at him, disbelief and hurt washing over you, "Is that really how you feel? That I’m just a problem?"

Heeseung’s expression softened for a brief moment, but he quickly masked it with indifference, "Yeah, pretty much."

You felt tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, but you refused to let them fall, "Fine. If that’s how it is, then don’t expect anything from me either."

With that, you turned and walked away, leaving Heeseung standing in the kitchen. As you retreated to your room, you couldn’t shake the feeling of betrayal.

You had always known Heeseung was a popular person but also bad at the same time, for his rebellious nature, skipping classes, and getting into trouble, but you had hoped there was more to him. Today, he had shown you exactly who he was, and it hurt more than you wanted to admit.

You were glad tomorrow was the weekend which meant you can just sleep all the embarrassment away from today. You quickly changed and went right to sleep, not even bothering to take off your glasses.

The morning sunlight gently filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the room. You stirred awake, feeling unusually refreshed. As you reached for your glasses, you noticed they were perfectly set on the nightstand. Confused, you distinctly remembered falling asleep with them on.

You slipped on your glasses and made your way downstairs, the aroma of breakfast guiding you. Entering the kitchen, you saw your mom chatting with Mr. Lee, but there was no sign of Heeseung.

“Good morning, sweetheart," Your mom greeted you with a smile.

“Morning, Mom," You replied, still puzzled, "Did you take off my glasses last night?"

She shook her head, looking just as confused, “No, I didn't. Maybe Heeseung did before he left with his friends?"

Your eyebrows furrowed more. Heeseung came into my room? You shook your head and gave your mom a tight smile. Whatever she was thinking had to be wrong. Not after what happened last night.

Your mom then got up and exscused herself to the restroom. You sat at the kitchen table, enjoying the breakfast your mom had prepared. Mr. Lee joined you, sipping his coffee and looking thoughtful.

"Did Heeseung ever get a chance to talk to you?" he asked casually.

You hesitated for a moment, the best you could do is lie after anything that’s happening between you, "No, we didn't have time to talk."

Heeseung's dad sighed, shaking his head. "That boy... He never wants to talk to anyone aside from me and his close friends. It's like he's in his own world sometimes."

Hearing this, you felt a pang of guilt for lying. You knew Heeseung was reserved, but it hurt seeing that his father noticed that too.

“I-I mean we say our hi’s and byes. We just don’t really have a full conversation.” You spoke.

His father nodded, “I’m just hoping you talk to him soon. I’m not trying to put any pressure on the two of you, but Heeseung has always done bad things after my divorce with my ex wife. He’d always go out doing bad stuff and getting in deep trouble. Then he’d go partying and drinking and come back home late. I feel like if you guys talked he’d understand on your side that it’s not just about messing up your life for the worse.”

You stared at him pitful. Maybe if you could try to talk to Heeseung about everything with his dad it could help, but then again it’s not your problem to fix.

“I understand where your coming from Mr. Lee. I’ll try to talk to Heeseung more often.” You smiled softly. Mr. Lee smiled back grateful. Your mom soon came back as you all continued eating your food.

The sun began setting when you decided to finally leave your room after studying for so long. You tiptoed downstairs and headed to the living room. There you saw Heeseung playing video games on the big TV yelling at his friends.

“Dude what the fuck? I said left dumbass!” He shouted. You rolled your eyes and went to the kitchen and grabbed a snack. You took a piece of candy bar and chewed on it while heading back upstairs while hearing Heeseung cuss out his friends.

You shut the door and grabbed your phone as you sat on your bed. You scrolled through social media for a while when all of a sudden your door slammed open. Your eyes widened when you saw Heeseung looking angrily at you.

His eyes widened when he saw you holding something, “Hey! Did you just steal my candy bar?"

You looked up, then looked down at the candy that was already almost gone. Feeling a bit guilty but also defiant, “I was hungry and it was just sitting there."

Heeseung frowned, clearly upset, "That was mine! I was saving it for later."

"I'm sorry, Heeseung. I didn't think you'd mind. I'll get you another one." You reasoned, but Heeseungs ant having any of it.

Before he was gonna rant, he suddenly stopped himself, “I don’t want another one.” He suddenly said.

Your eyebrows furrowed, “T-Then what do you want?” You stuttered. You mentally slapped yourself from how nervous you sounded. Heeseung didn’t say anything and suddenly walked to you, pushing you on your bed. You let out a gasp and stared up at him on top of you.

“Heeseung what are you-“

“Shut up.” He cut you off. You felt his breath on your face. You lay frozen underneath him, waiting for his next move. He took one of his hands and rubbed along your leg making you jolt.

“Hee-“

“I said shut up.” He snapped. You immediately shut your mouth. He then lowered his head on your neck. You felt his hot breath hitting your cold neck. Your eyes shot wide when you felt him lay a soft kiss on it.

“What if I wanna taste something sweeter?” He mumbled in your neck. You let out a whimper when he suddenly squeezed your leg tight. You shut your eyes closed when he finally lifted his head back up, staring right at you.

You waited, but nothing came. Instead you felt his weight get off of you making you slowly open your eyes. You saw him on the side of your bed, with his half eaten candy bar in his hand.

“Next time ask.” Was all he said before leaving your room, slamming it shut. You finally let go of the breath you were holding on to and held your chest.

What the fuck just happen.

After that incident you decided to stay in your room for the rest of the night. You didn’t wanna see Heeseung after what happened. You were deep into your late-night study session when a faint noise downstairs caught your attention.

Curious and a bit concerned, you quietly made your way down the stairs. The sight of Heeseung, dressed in his usual bad boy attire and slipping on his leather jacket, stopped you in your tracks.

"Heeseung, where are you going?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Heeseung glanced at you, his expression unreadable, "It's none of your business," He replied curtly.

You frowned, sensing something was off. "I know you're going to a party. You shouldn't go. What if your dad finds out?"

Heeseung scoffed, shaking his head, “I don't care what he thinks. I need to get out of here."

You stepped closer, your concern growing, "Please, Heeseung. It's not worth the trouble. You know how much your dad worries about you."

Heeseung paused, his eyes meeting yours for a brief moment. For a second, you thought he might reconsider. But then he turned away, determination in his stride, "I'll deal with it," he muttered before heading out the door.

You stood there, feeling a mix of worry and helplessness, hoping that Heeseung would stay safe and that one day he might understand how much people cared about him.

You didn’t get how he turns so fast from you. The mix emotions he gives you that leaves you a mess. Has he always had that impact on someone? You went back upstairs deciding to just leave it alone. Besides, he’ll never listen to you.

After few hours of thinking and worrying for Heeseung you finally were able to go to sleep. The house was silent and dark, when you heard the creak of your bedroom door. Groggily, you opened your eyes to see Heeseung stumbling into your room. He reeked of alcohol, and his eyes were unfocused.

"Heeseung? What are you doing here?" You asked, sitting up in bed.

Without a word, he collapsed onto the bed beside you, his head resting on your pillow, "I just... I needed to see you," He slurred, his voice thick with alcohol.

You frowned, worried about his state, "You shouldn't be here. You need to sleep it off."

Heeseung ignored your concern, his eyes half-closed, "You know, you're always so... so smart. I wish I could be like you. Those fuckers.. don’t know what their talking about," He mumbled, his words tumbling out in a disjointed stream.

Before you could respond, he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. Shocked, you froze for a moment before instinctively slapping him.

Heeseung pulled back, a hurt look in his eyes. "I... I'm sorry," he muttered, getting up and stumbling out of the room.

You sat there, your heart racing, trying to process what had just happened. You didn’t know what came over you to slap him. You then touch your lips. His faint soft lips printed on yours. It then hit you, he was your first kiss.

The next morning, you woke up feeling groggy and disoriented. The events of the previous night played on a loop in your mind, making it hard to focus on anything else. As you walked down the hallway, you saw Heeseung approaching from the other end. Your heart raced, and you felt a wave of panic wash over you.

Heeseung walked past you without a second glance, as if nothing had happened. Confused and hurt, you turned to confront him, "Heeseung, about last night..."

Heeseung stopped and looked at you, his expression blank, “What about last night?" he asked, genuinely puzzled.

“You- don’t you remember?" you said, your voice trembling slightly.

Heeseung frowned, shaking his head, "I don't remember anything from last night. I was pretty out of it."

His words felt like a punch to the gut. You had been so affected by what happened, but to him, it was just a forgotten moment in a drunken haze. Feeling a mix of frustration and sadness, you walked away to the restroom, trying to push the memory to the back of your mind.

How could he forget that? Now you're the only one to remember the mess he had made. You did your usual in the bathroom and came out. You didn’t Heeseung anywhere and went back to your room. Maybe going on a walk would be fine to clear the head. As you finished getting dressed, you opened your door and headed downstairs.

You didn’t noticed Heeseung anywhere and put on your shoes before heading out the door. As you stepped outside, you saw him playing basketball in the driveway.

Heeseung glanced up, noticing you, "Where are you going?" he asked, pausing his game.

"For a walk," You replied, trying to keep your voice steady.

He simply nodded and went back to his game, the sound of the ball bouncing echoing in the quiet morning. You continued walking, but your mind kept drifting back to the way he had kissed you. The memory was vivid, and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't shake it off.

Each step you took seemed to bring back a fragment of that moment, making it harder to move on. You felt a pang of longing mixed with the hurt of knowing he didn't remember. The walk, meant to be a distraction, only made you more aware of the emotions you were trying to escape.

You came back a few minutes later, it was just a walk around the neighborhood anyways. Heeseung was still playing, not paying any mind to you. You walked past him and went inside. You decided to do your studies in the kitchen.

You went upstairs to grab your essentials before coming back down and sitting at the kitchen table, buried in a pile of homework. Heeseung soon came inside and sauntered in the kitchen. He grabbed an apple, and sat across from you. He watched you intently, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Why do you always have your head in a book? Don't you ever do anything fun?" he asked, taking a bite of the apple.

"Studying is fun for me," you replied curtly, not looking up.

Heeseung laughed, "You really are something else."

You rolled your eyes, “At least I don’t go out partying and getting drunk and coming back and doing the unthinkable.”

Heeseung stopped chewing and stared at you with an unreadable expression. It was silent for a few minutes and that’s when you were gonna apologize but he beat you to it.

“Did I bring my girlfriend over yesterday?” He whispered. You paused and looked at him. He has a girlfriend? You felt your mouth go completely dry.

Heeseung has a girlfriend. When the hell did he had a girlfriend? That’s when it finally came to you. Heeseung has a girlfriend, and he kissed you. Heeseung noticed your shocked face and waved his hand in front of your face, “Nerd? You there?” He said.

“Y-You have a girlfriend?” You questioned.

Heeseung frowned before nodding, “Haven’t told my dad though since he would freak out, but now that I’ve brung her over it’s fine.”

He thinks he brung her over last night. He really doesn’t remember anything, you thought.

“No you didn’t bring her over Heeseung, “ You didn’t know if it was even okay to say anything at this point, “I-I was talking about what you did with me-“

“Y/n sweetie were heading out can you lock the door?” You mom yells from the living room. You gasped, completely forgetting that your mom and Mr. Lee were even home.

“Coming!” You yelled back. You ignored Heeseungs look and went to your mom in the living room. She kissed your cheek before shutting the door. You locked it and headed back to the kitchen.

You noticed Heesueng looked deep in thought. You slowly walked over to him, “Heeseung-“

"Forget about last night," He said abruptly, his voice lacking its usual edge.

You blinked, taken aback, "What do you mean?"

Heeseung's eyes shifted away from yours, "Just forget it happened," he repeated, more firmly this time. Without waiting for a response, he got up from his seat and walked away, leaving you alone with a whirlwind of emotions.

You decided to shake it off and bury yourself in your homework, but his words kept coming back. Each time you tried to focus on a math problem or a history chapter, your mind wandered back to the way he said it so causally. It was impossible to concentrate, and your frustration grew with each passing minute.

As night fell, you heard the familiar sound of Heeseung's laughter outside. You looked out the window and saw him heading out with his friends, the streetlights casting long shadows on the pavement. You didn’t even hear him leave. The sight of him leaving made your heart sink. A mix of anger and sadness welled up inside you, he really doesn’t learn.

The next morning, something felt off. You woke up and immediately went to Heeseungs room. You knocked on the door about five times before opening it, that’s when you noticed that Heeseung's bed was untouched. Panic started to creep in as you realized he hadn't come home. You tried to rationalize it, telling yourself that he might have crashed at a friend's place. But the nagging worry wouldn't go away.

As you made your way downstairs, you were greeted by Mr. Lee. His eyes were filled with concern, and you could tell he had noticed Heeseung's absence as well. "Did Heeseung mention anything to you last night? He didn’t come home last night or today." he asked, his voice tinged with worry.

You hesitated for a moment, your mind racing. You knew you should tell him the truth, that Heeseung had gone out and hadn't come back. But something held you back. Maybe it was a sense of loyalty to Heeseung you didn’t know of, or perhaps a fear of getting him into trouble, "No, nothing happened," You lied, forcing a smile, “He probably just stayed over at a friend's place."

Heeseung's dad didn't look convinced, but he nodded, seemingly accepting your explanation. You quickly grabbed your bag and headed out the door, eager to escape the tense atmosphere.

School felt like a blur. You couldn't focus on your classes, your mind constantly drifting back to Heeseung. You scanned the hallways, hoping to catch a glimpse of him, but he was nowhere in sight. Each passing hour only intensified your worry.

By lunchtime, you were a bundle of nerves. You sat alone at your usual spot in the cafeteria, poking at your food without any real appetite. The absence of Heeseung was worrying you like crazy, and you couldn't shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong.

As the day dragged on, you found yourself checking your phone repeatedly, hoping for a message or a call from him. But there was nothing. The silence was deafening, and the worry gnawed at you like a relentless beast.

You knew you had to find him, to make sure he was okay. But where to start? Heeseung was a master at keeping his whereabouts a mystery, and you had no idea where he could be. The uncertainty was suffocating, and you felt utterly helpless.

As you walked home that evening, the weight of the situation settled heavily on your shoulders. You couldn't shake the feeling that something had happened, something that had kept Heeseung from coming home.

Heeseung finally stumbled through the front door late at night, his usual nonchalant demeanor firmly in place. You had been sitting on the couch, unable to focus on anything but the worry gnawing at your insides. The moment you saw him, relief flooded through you, but it was quickly replaced by a mix of frustration and concern.

"Heeseung, where have you been?" You asked, your voice trembling slightly.

He shrugged, kicking off his shoes and heading towards the stairs, "Out with friends. I'm going to bed," He said casually.

Before he could take another step, Mr. Lee appeared, blocking his path. "Heeseung, we need to talk," Mr. Lee said sternly.

Heeseung rolled his eyes, "Not now, Dad. I'm tired."

But his dad wasn't having it, "No, we're talking now. You can't just come and go as you please without any explanation."

The tension in the room was palpable as the argument escalated, “And who are you to stop me?” Heeseung snapped. You gasped at the way Heeseung said that to Me. Lee.

Me. Lee let out a deep breath through his nose, “I am your father Heeseung.”

Heeseung scoffed, “You lost that status the second you told mom you wanted a divorce.”

Everything else just felt faint to you. Voices were raised, accusations were thrown, and you could see the hurt and anger in Heeseung's eyes. Finally, he stormed off to his room, slamming the door behind him.

You hesitated for a moment, watching as Mr. Lee went to sit on the kitchen table. You decided to follow Heesueng. You found him sitting on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands. Without a word, you sat down next to him and gently placed a hand on his back. Heeseung looked up, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice cracking.

You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into a comforting embrace, “It's okay, Heeseung. I'm here for you," you murmured.

Heeseung finally let the tears fall, his body shaking with silent sobs. You held him close, offering what comfort you could. Gradually, the tension began to ease, and the exhaustion of the day caught up with both of you.

Eventually, you both lay down on his bed, still holding each other. As the night wore on, the steady rhythm of his breathing lulled you into a peaceful sleep, the worries of the day fading away in the warmth of both of your presence.

The next morning, you woke up early, the events of the previous night still fresh in your mind. You got ready for school, the house unusually quiet. As you walked into the kitchen, you were surprised to see Mr. Lee and your mom sitting at the table, sipping coffee and chatting.

"Good morning," you greeted them, trying to keep your voice steady.

"Good morning, dear," your mom replied with a warm smile, "Heeseung's in the shower. He'll be out soon."

You nodded, feeling a mix of relief and apprehension. You quickly got dressed and gathered your things for school. Just as you were finishing up, Heeseung emerged from the bathroom, his hair still damp and a towel slung over his shoulders.

"Hey," he said, his voice softer than usual.

"Hey," you replied, trying to read his expression.

Heeseung hesitated for a moment before speaking again, "Do you want a ride to school?"

You blinked in surprise. Heeseung offering to drive you to school was unexpected, especially after the tense night before. "Uh, sure. That'd be great."

As you walked to his car, you couldn't help but notice how different he seemed. The usual edge in his demeanor was softened, and he seemed genuine. The ride to school was quiet, but it wasn't the uncomfortable silence you had feared. Instead, it felt comforting.

When you arrived at school, Heeseung turned to you, "Thanks for being there last night."

You smiled back, feeling a warmth spread through you. "Anytime, Heeseung. Anytime."

Students watched as you and Heeseung got out of his cars. Whispers and chatters were heard around you, but you didn’t seem to care. Heeseung walked you to your class and bid you goodbye.

You didn’t know why Heeseung decided to change like this, but at the same time you weren’t complaining.

The school day went by fast to you. You didn’t see Heeseung at lunch, but decided to ignore it. You stepped out of the school gates and saw Heeseung. He made eye contact with you. You slowly walked over to him confused.

“Are you waiting for someone?” You asked him. He nodded his head and tilted it.

“I was waiting for you.” He spoke. Your eyes widened.

“Me? Why?” You mumbled. It was more like a question to yourself than him.

“Cause I can? Come on I’m getting tired. Feels like I’ve been standing here for ages.” He said. You guilty got into the car.

The car ride was silent when you guys got back. You and Heeseung both got out of his car, shutting it with slam. As you were gonna go to the door Heeseung suddenly grabbed your wrist. Your eyebrows furrowed as you look at him.

"I need your help," he said, his voice uncharacteristically soft. "My dad owes me an apology, and I think you can help me get it."

You were taken aback. Was that why he was being nice to you? You didn’t know what to feel.

“Is that why you were nice to me today?” You mumbled, feeling somewhat offended.

Heeseung shook his head confused, “Of course not. I was being nice because of what you did yesterday. No one has ever done that before.”

You hummed in acknowledgment, you began to think that maybe, just maybe, Heeseung was more than his bad boy facade.

“Okay, I’ll help you.” You said. Heeseung gave you a sweet smile that made your feel some type of way. Nonetheless, you gave him a smile back.

Over the next few days, Heeseung's behavior changed. He started doing small, nice things for you—making you coffee in the morning, helping you with your chores, and even engaging in conversations about your interests.

You couldn’t help but notice how when he listened to you, he had a look in his eyes that made your heart race. How he listened to every last detail you’d tell about anything. How he makes comments about little things about you that you’ve never mentioned to him or anyone else. You felt like Heeseung was actually making a change towards you.

On the other hand, you gave out advice for him to follow to make his dad apologize, like suggesting he have an honest conversation about his feelings. Surprisingly, Heeseung took your advice to heart.

Finally, the day came when Heeseung confronted his dad about everything. It didn’t come as easy though.

“Heeseung, I want you to understand the importance of this family. I know we all don’t understand you the way your mom did, but I’m willing to make an effort to show you to see the good side of life.” Mr. Lee said. You noticed Heeseung was a lot calmer than the last time. While on your end, you were praying to god nothing breaks out into fits of anger.

“I know, I just couldn’t stop thinking about how our family used to be. I miss how we we used to be.” Heeseung whispered the last part under his death.

You watched how Mr. Lee's face went from upset to sad. You felt bad that you couldn’t step in and comfort. The moment those two words fell out, Mr. Lee lips, for the first time you saw a glimmer of vulnerability in Heeseung's eyes. They hugged and departed from each other. Mr. Lee gave you a knowing nod with you smiling back.

Heeseung looked over at you and gave you a small smile. That was the first time he ever smiled at you. You gave a him a big smile back with a thumbs up. Just as you thought everything will finally get better, you soon found out how wrong you were.

Later that night, Heeseung, having achieved his goal, didn't stick around to celebrate with you. Instead, he grabbed his jacket and headed out to a party, leaving you standing alone in the house, feeling used and betrayed.

You sat on the couch, staring at the door he had just walked out of, wondering if any of the kindness he had shown you was real or just a means to an end. The realization stung, but it also made you stronger.

Instead of letting him leave like that, your only thought was to follow him. You knew where he was going after hearing a phone call with his friend about a party that was happening later today. You grabbed your moms keys and left the house. You knew the address since you also overheard when his friend was on speaker.

You had never been to a party before, and tonight, you decided to see for yourself what drew him away so often. The party was at a house a few blocks away, already throbbing with loud music and laughter. You hesitated at the doorway, but your determination pushed you inside.

The atmosphere was overwhelming, a stark contrast to your usual quiet evenings. You scanned the room for Heeseung, hoping to catch a glimpse of him amidst the chaos.

As you navigated through the crowd, you accidentally bumped into someone. You groaned and looked up. Your eyes widened when you saw it was one of Heeseung's friends, Park Sunghoon. He was tall, with a smug smile that made you instantly freeze, "Hey, aren't you that nerd that was with Heeseung that one day? What are you doing here?" he questioned.

You straightened your posture, trying to muster some confidence, "It's none of your business why I'm here," you replied, your voice steady despite the knot in your stomach.

Sunghoon let out a deep chuckle before leaning on the wall. You weren’t gonna lie and say he didn’t look attractive doing that, “Right. None of my business. So did you just come here to get a quick fuck?”

You gasped at his sentence, “W-What? No! I-I was here just because I can!” You stuttered. Sunghoon smug smile never left when he suddenly leaned towards you. Both of your face close to each other.

“You know, if you ever wanna have fun, you know where I’m at. Heeseung doesn’t need to know.” Sunghoon whispered. Even though the music was booming loudly, you could still hear him from how close he was to you. His breath smelling like alcohol and somewhat of a minty smell.

Just as you were about to walk away, Heeseung suddenly appeared beside him. His eyes locked onto yours, and for a moment, you thought you saw a flicker of recognition. But then, his expression turned cold.

“What are you doing Sunghoon?" He coolly asked, acting like you aren’t there. Sunghoon backed away from you and gave Heeseung a pat.

“Nothing man. Just talking to this nerd. You know her right?” Sunghoon teased. He knew the answer, but to your confusion he still asked.

Heeseung shrugged nonchalantly, "No idea who she is," he said, his voice devoid of any warmth. The words hit you like a punch to the gut.

Feeling a mix of embarrassment and hurt, you turned on your heel and pushed your way through the crowd, desperate to escape.

Thats when the tears stung your eyes as you made your way back to the apartment. The night air was cool against your flushed cheeks, but it did little to soothe the ache in your chest.

You reached your car, fumbling with the keys. You finally managed to unlock the door and slid into the driver's seat, resting your head on the steering wheel. The sound of the passenger door opening startled you. You looked up, eyes widening as Heeseung climbed in beside you.

"What are you doing?" You asked, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and confusion.

Heeseung leaned back in the seat, his expression unreadable, "Why were you at the party?" He asked, ignoring your question.

You looked away, not wanting to admit the truth, "I just wanted to see what it was like," You muttered.

Heeseung sighed, running a hand through his hair, "You don't belong in places like that," He said firmly, "Why didn't you just stay home?"

You clenched your fists, frustration boiling over, "Because I wanted to see you," You blurted out before you could stop yourself, "I wanted to understand why you always leave. How parties can make your worries disappear! Why you always switch out on me.” You voice cracking at the end.

Heeseung's eyes softened, and he reached out to gently cup your cheek, "You don't always need to know everything about me," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Before you could respond, Heeseung leaned in, capturing your lips in a tender kiss. Your heart raced as you melted into the kiss, feeling the barriers between your worlds begin to crumble. When he finally pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours, a small smirk playing on his lips.

You suddenly remembered about his girlfriend and pushed him away, “Heeseung your girlfriend-“

“I don’t wanna think about her right now.” He said. You gulped hard. You knew what you did was wrong, but seeing Heeseung so calm made you relax a bit.

He then looked at you again, “Let's go home," He said softly. You slowly nodded and started the car, exiting the driveway and leaving the loud house. The car ride was silent, with Heeseung staring out the window.

You averted your gaze to him from time to time, however not saying anything. When you guys finally got back you got out the car and headed to the door. You unlocked it, letting yourself in before Heeseung came in.

Just as you were about to say something Heeseung suddenly pinned you on the door, “Heeseung what are you-“

He cut you off and kissed you harshly. You let out a gasp when he nibbled on your bottom lip. He then entered his tongue in your mouth. You squirmed feeling his hot tongue swirling with yours. It all felt too hot. You moaned when he roughly gripped your hips.

The thought of his girlfriend completely washed away when he broke the kiss with both of your salivas connecting at your lips. He didn’t waste a second, grabbing your wrist and taking you to his room. Heeseung's eyes glinted with mischief as he led you to his room, his grip firm yet oddly gentle.

It was the second time going to his room, this time with him with you. The contrast between his tough exterior and the care he took in guiding you made your heart race. As you stepped inside, you couldn't help but notice how surprisingly neat his room was.

Your eyes wandered over the shelves lined with books, some of which you recognized from your own collection. A small, framed photo of a younger Heeseung with a genuine smile caught your eye, and you felt a pang of curiosity about the story behind it. The room was filled with little details that contradicted his bad boy image – a neatly made bed, a few potted plants, and a desk organized with precision.

Heeseung caught you staring and smirked, "Surprised?" He asked, leaning casually against the doorframe. You nodded, unable to hide your amazement. "There's more to me than meets the eye," He said, his voice softer than you'd ever heard it before.

You sat on his bed with him still standing in front of you. He then leaned down and pecked your lips before going on top of you as you lay on the sheets. He started trailing kisses along your neck. You let out a quiet moan when you felt him starting to suck on your neck.

Heeseung grinned at your sensitivity and playfully bit your neck, making you squeak. You wrapped your arms instinctively around his neck. You mewled when you felt him grind on your cloth core. Everything felt too unreal to you.

“Fuck. I can practically feel your wetness.” He groaned. He took his hand and rubbed against your leg like the last time, but this time he slowly crept towards you core.

“H-Hee.” You whimpered. Hearing you already making a nickname for him made him hard. You let out a relief sigh when he finally rubbed against your heat. The pressure of pleasure floating in your body.

Heeseung bit his lip, suppressing a groan when he finally felt your wet shorts.

“Hee please.” You groaned. Heeseung smirked and stared at your facial expression. Mouth agape, eyes rolled back, hair messy, Heeseung knew he was gonna be a goner.

“What do you want princess?” He whispered. His voice husky and filled with lust. You felt yourself already creating a pool with the way he sounded.

“I-It feels weird Hee! Please do something.” You weakly stated. Something inside lit up in Heeseung hearing you say that.

A virgin is probably his most favorite thing when it comes to sex. He didn’t waste any time taking off your shorts. He let out a breath when he saw the wet patch on your underwear and lowered his body down.

Before you could ask what he was doing you suddenly felt a wet sensation on your underwear, “Oh god Heeseung!” You let out a cry and arched your back. Heeseung hummed and licked up and down on your slit. The feeling of pleasure was too much for you.

He stopped and looked up at you, “I wanna see you begging.” He breathed out. He slid off your underwear effortlessly revealing your glistening pussy. You tried covering yourself up but Heeseungs wasn’t having none of that. He pulled your legs apart roughly making you whine. You felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. The way his hard stare was on you.

“If I would’ve know your pussy looked this good I would’ve fucked you sooner.” He said. Your eyes went wide. Now your cheeks were definitely a crimson red. He lowered once again and didn’t give you a chance to say anything before he dipped his tongue inside.

You gripped the sheets at his sudden urgency and let out a loud moan. You didn’t know if your guys parents were home, but it was too late now. He licked your folds up and down, swirling his tongue around your bud. You gripped his locks and wrapped your leg around his head.

“Hee! Oh fuck!” You squealed. He cursed in your pussy and finally dipped his tongue in your hole. You couldn’t control any of your moans anymore. The sound of slurping and moaning bounced around his room.

You felt a weird pit in your stomach and thrashed around, “H-Hee I think I’m gonna- ah!” You moaned and jerked forward. Your orgasm coming quickly and hard. Your mouth went agape as you let out hard breaths feeling Heeseung lick everything up.

You squeezed his locks, feeling overstimulated. You tapped his head weakly, “H-Heeseung no more.” You rasped out. Heeseung finally stopped and licked his lips. Your cum on his chin, his eyes hazy and unfocused.

“How am I gonna fit?” He asked you. Your eyes widened. Shit, he really wanted to have sex with you. You started stammering random words while Heeseung stared at you. If he was gonna fuck you, you have to enjoy it too.

He cut off your rant by kissing you again. You immediately kissed him back, not feeling his fingers near your hole. You let out a scream when you felt his finger slowly enter you.

“Shh it’s okay. It’ll hurt for a quick second.” He muttered. You tried to get used to it, however the pressure was too much.

“H-Heeseung I can’t! It hurts!” You sniffled. Heeseung pampered you with kisses, trying to distract you. You looked so pretty when you cry.

“I know princess. It’ll feel good. I promise.” He reasoned. You panted hard when you suddenly felt your hole slowly getting used to it. Soon enough you were a moaning mess all over again.

“Another one. P-Please.” You dictated. Heeseung grinned and added his other finger. You let out a moan in pleasure feeling his long thick fingers stretching you out.

You felt another orgasm coming again, but Heeseung took his fingers out making you whine. He ignored you, his grin never coming off his face.

He took off his shirt revealing his body. You bit your lip seeing his toned body. You felt something poking you and looked down. There was his hard dick poking out of his pants. You whimpered when he moved it towards your pussy.

“You like what you see?” He teased. You slowly nodded, unsure what to say at that moment. He chuckled at your cuteness and kissed your temple.

You reached your hand unsure if you could touch him. He didn’t seem to mind and leaned in more. You rubbed his cloth dick slowly causing him to hiss. You felt a sudden confidence coming over you and stroked his dick faster. At this point you were practically jerking him off and he seemed to like it, or even loved it.

He pulled away suddenly making you furrow your eyebrows, “Is something wrong?” You mumbled, your brain in a haze.

“I don’t wanna cum like this.” He said. You blushed when he started unbuckling his pants and taking off his pants and boxers at the same time. Your mouth went dry seeing his dick for the first time. It was big.

Is that even gonna fit?

He groaned when he touched it and stroked it slowly. You watched him stroke his dick slowly, blushing and panting. He looked down at you, “Are you ready?”

You impatiently nodded, making him chuckle darkly. He lined his dick at your entrance before slowly pushing in. You felt the air knock out your lungs and gripped him tightly on his arms. He moaned at your tightness. Your whimpers and sniffles made him want to go right at it and fuck you hard.

“Fuck, can I move now princess?” He hissed. You shut your eyes and slowly nodded. He started at a slow pace, watching your every expression to make sure you're not hurting anywhere. Once he sees your face turning from pain to pleasure he picked up his pace faster.

The sound of hard skin slapping heard in his room. You felt dizzy with pleasure with the way he pounded in your pussy, “Oh fuck.” You whimpered.

“Feel good princess?” He asked. You frantically nodded your head. He sighed feeling you clench around him.

“M’gonna cum Heeseung.” You panted out. Heeseung hummed and buried his face in your neck, the feeling making you ticklish. You felt your orgasm coming and scratched onto his back. You bit Heeseung neck feeling your orgasm hitting you. Heeseung let out a pained moan and came after you.

You both panted unevenly and hard. Heeseung slowly pulled out and fell right next to you. You stared up at the ceiling rethinking everything. You had sex with Lee Heeseung, the schools bad boy. The one who made you feel like you were worthless.

Your thoughts were cut off when you felt a strong arm wrap around you. You looked up at Heeseung and saw him also in thought. The silence was somewhat comforting while also heavy. Heeseung nuzzled against the top of your head and sighed.

You slowly felt your eyes get heavy feeling his warmth accompanying you into slumber.

Heeseung looked down when he suddenly heard little snores coming out of you. He stared at your lips and leaned down, giving them a soft peck. Besides, it was gonna be the last time he would feel them.

You woke up to the soft morning light filtering through the curtains, feeling disoriented. As you slowly sat up, you realized you were in an unfamiliar bed. Panic surged through you until you recognized the room – Heeseung's room. The events of last night hit you like a truck, but you distinctly remembered the heated moment that had led you here.

Looking around, you noticed Heeseung was nowhere in sight. Your heart pounded as you spotted a neatly folded note on the pillow beside you. With trembling hands, you picked it up and read:

Had to head to school early. See you there. - Heeseung.

You sighed, a mix of relief and frustration washing over you. Gathering your things, you quickly got ready and made your way to school, your mind racing with thoughts of what had transpired.

As you entered the school grounds, you spotted Heeseung almost immediately. He was leaning against a locker, surrounded by his usual group of friends, exuding his typical bad boy aura. His laughter echoed down the hallway, and you felt an inexplicable pang in your chest.

But what shocked you the most was the girl under his arms, giggling as she whispered something in his ear making him smile. You stood there watching the scene unfold. Your eyes met his for a fleeting moment. His expression shifted from amusement to something unreadable as he watched you.

Suddenly, the memories of last night came flooding back – the new side he shown you yesterday, the intimate moment you guys had together.

Feeling overwhelmed, you quickly looked away and walked past him, determined to ignore him. You could feel his gaze burning into your back, but you kept your head down, focusing on getting to your locker.

Throughout the day, you couldn't shake the feeling of Heeseung's eyes on you. Every time you glanced his way, he was watching, a mix of amusement and something else in his eyes. It was as if he was silently pleading for you to acknowledge him, but you couldn't bring yourself to face him.

During lunch, you found a quiet corner in the library to gather your thoughts. The events of last night played over and over in your mind. Heeseung had been so different – so real. But now, in the harsh light of day, it was easier to retreat behind your walls and pretend it hadn't happened.

As the final bell rang, you gathered your things and headed out, hoping to avoid any further encounters. But as you stepped outside, you saw Heeseung waiting by the gate, his expression serious.

"Nerd," he called out, his voice coming out more firm than usual, "We need to talk."

You hesitated, torn between your instinct to flee and the curiosity gnawing at you. Finally, you took a deep breath and walked over to him, bracing yourself for whatever came next.

“what do you wanna talk about?” You questioned, knowing full well what he wanted to talk about. He knew you weren’t stupid.

"Do you regret it?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

You took a deep breath, your heart pounding in your chest. You wanted to tell him that you didn’t and that you would do it again if you could. To tell him that you feel something for him that you’ve never felt with anyone else, but reality came to you that he still has a girlfriend, and that your parents are getting married soon, "Yes," You replied, your voice trembling, "I regret it."

Heeseung's face fell, and he looked away, running a hand through his hair, "I figured," He muttered, "I agree... I just needed to know from your point of you. No hard feelings?”

You nodded your head, holding your tears in, “Agreed.”

After that conversation, you made a conscious effort to avoid him. It wasn't easy, especially when you saw him with his girlfriend, laughing and holding hands. Each time, it felt like a knife to your heart, but you kept your distance, knowing it was for the best.

Despite your efforts, you couldn't help but notice the change in Heeseung. He seemed more distant, more withdrawn. His usual bravado was gone, replaced by a quiet facade that you couldn't ignore. He stopped speaking to you for once, walking right past you whenever you’d see him anywhere in the house. He wouldn’t add sarcastic comments towards your way anymore. He still went to parties and hang outs as usual, but he was a lot more aggressive than usual when he came home drunk.

Days turned into weeks, and you tried your best to avoid him. You buried yourself in your studies, hoping the memory would fade. But every time you saw Heeseung with his girlfriend, a pang of guilt and regret twisted in your chest.

Or when you would hang out with your mom and Mr. Lee it reminded you exactly why you’re there. Because they were getting married. How would they react when they would’ve found out there kids fucked each other? You didn’t wanna know.

It was like any other day with you reading in the living room. You were almost done with a chapter when you suddenly heard a knock at the door. You didn't think much of it until you heard voices—familiar voices. Curiosity got the better of you, and you opened the door revealing Heeseung's girlfriend, Karina, and his friends Sunghoon, Jake, and Jay.

"Hey, can we come in?" Jake asked, though it seemed more like a statement than a question. You nodded, stepping aside to let them in.

You heard footsteps coming downstairs and was greeted by Heeseung, “Baby!” Karina smiled and went to hug Heeseung. He hugged her back just as tightly.

“Hey baby, I didn’t know you were coming too.” Heeseung chuckled. Karina gave him a teasing smile in return.

“Well I haven’t seen you since yesterday so I decided to come over!” She chimed. Heeseung seemed to be ignoring you completely, his attention focused on his girlfriend.

You were cut off with your thoughts when Heeseungs friends all greeted you with a mix of politeness and indifference, but Sunghoon gave you a knowing smirk.

They made their way upstairs, laughing and chatting amongst themselves. Heeseung didn't even glance your way, and you felt a pang of something—was it disappointment? You shook it off, returning to the living room with your book.

A little while later, there was a knock on the wall. You looked up to see Sunghoon standing there, leaning casually against the wall like he did the last time at the party.

"Hey," He said, his voice smooth and friendly, "Got a minute?"

You didn’t like where this was going. You nodded, putting down your book, “What's up?"

"There's this party later tonight," Sunghoon began, stepping closer to the couch you were sitting at. "It's gonna be pretty cool. I was wondering if you'd like to come with us."

You blinked, taken aback. A party? You remembered the last time and gulped. You hesitated, unsure of how to respond.

"I don't know," you said finally, "Parties aren't really my thing, especially from last time.”

Sunghoon smiled, his eyes twinkling with mischief, "Come on, it'll be fun. You might even enjoy yourself."

You bit your lip, still uncertain, "I'll think about it.”

"Fair enough," Sunghoon said, giving you a nod, "Just let me know."

He left, and you were alone with your thoughts. A party? With Heeseung and his friends? It seemed like a bad idea, but a part of you was curious. What would it be like to step out of your comfort zone again, even just for one more night?

As the hours passed, you found yourself thinking more and more about Sunghoon's invitation. Finally, you made up your mind.

You rifled through your closet, looking for something to wear. You settled on an outfit that was a little out of the ordinary for you—something that made you feel confident and a bit daring.

When you were ready, you took a deep breath and headed downstairs. it seemed as if Sunghoon was waiting for you, his eyes widening in surprise and admiration when he saw you.

"Wow," He said, a grin spreading across his face, "You look amazing."

You felt a blush creep up your cheeks. "Thanks."

He offered you his arm, and you took it, feeling a strange mix of excitement and nervousness. As you walked out the door, you didn’t notice a certain someone watching the scene unfold in front him.

You decided to drive with Sunghoon since he insisted and made your way to the party.

The night was electric with the buzz of excitement as you stepped into the party, your heart pounding with a mix of anticipation and nerves. You adjusted your glasses and smoothed down your dress, feeling slightly out of place among the throngs of people. Sunghoon was by your side, his easy smile putting you at ease.

"Come on, let's dance," He said, taking your hand and leading you to the dance floor. The music was loud, the bass thumping through your body as you moved to the rhythm. Sunghoon's presence was comforting, his laughter infectious as he twirled you around.

As you danced, you couldn't help but notice Heeseung across the room. He was leaning against the wall, his arm draped around Karina’s shoulder. His eyes, however, were fixed on you and Sunghoon. There was a dark intensity in his gaze that sent shivers down your spine. You tried to ignore it, focusing on the fun you were having with Sunghoon.

But the more you danced, the more you felt Heeseung's eyes on you. It was unsettling, and you found yourself glancing his way more often than you intended. Karina seemed oblivious, chatting animatedly with her friends, but Heeseung's attention never wavered.

"Hey, you okay?" Sunghoon asked, noticing your distraction.

"Yeah, I'm fine," You lied, giving him a reassuring smile. "Just a bit hot in here."

"Let's get some air," He suggested, leading you outside to the patio. The cool night air was a welcome relief, and you took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart.

Sunghoon leaned against the railing, looking at you with concern, "You sure you're okay?"

You nodded, but your mind was elsewhere. You couldn't stop thinking about Heeseung. The way he looked at you, the way he seemed to be watching your every move. It was driving you crazy.

Before you knew it, you found yourself leaning in and kissing Sunghoon. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision, a desperate attempt to get Heeseung out of your mind. Sunghoon was surprised but didn't pull away, his lips soft and warm against yours.

But the kiss didn't have the desired effect. Instead of forgetting about Heeseung, you felt his gaze burning into you even more intensely. You pulled away from Sunghoon, feeling a mix of guilt and confusion.

"Sorry," you mumbled, not sure what else to say.

Sunghoon looked at you with a mix of surprise and concern, "It's okay. Are you sure you're alright?"

Before you could answer, you felt a strong hand grab your arm. You turned to see Heeseung, his expression dark and angry, “We need to talk," he said, his voice low and dangerous.

He didn't give you a chance to respond, pulling you away from Sunghoon and into the house. You stumbled after him, your heart pounding in your chest. He led you upstairs to a quiet room, closing the door behind him.

"What the hell was that?" He demanded, his eyes blazing with anger.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself, "What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," He said, stepping closer, “You and Sunghoon."

You looked away, unable to meet his intense gaze, "It's none of your business."

Heeseung grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him, "It is my business," he said, his voice low and dangerous, “You think you can just kiss him and I'll be okay with it?"

You felt a surge of defiance. "Why do you care? You have a girlfriend."

Heeseung's grip tightened, his eyes flashing with anger, “You think I care about her? The only reason I'm with her is because I can't have you."

His words took you by surprise, and you felt a mix of emotions swirling inside you. Anger, confusion, and something else you couldn't quite identify, "Then why didn't you ever say anything?"

Heeseung let go of your chin, running a hand through his hair in frustration, "Because I'm an idiot. All these fucking feelings I’ve been feeling pisses me off. Were too different for each other. Which is why I also thought you'd never be interested in someone like me."

You took a step back, trying to process everything, "And now?"

Heeseung looked at you, his expression softening, "Now I can't stand the thought of you with someone else."

You felt your resolve melting, the anger and confusion giving way to something else. You couldn’t hold it in anymore. Fuck it. "Then show me," you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

Heeseung didn't need any more encouragement. He closed the distance between you, his lips crashing against yours with a desperate intensity. You melted into the kiss, all the pent-up emotions finally finding release.

You moaned into the kiss, letting his tongue entering your mouth. You didn’t know how much you missed this when he finally lay you on the bed. He didn’t waste time stripping off his clothes, still leaving you cloth. Before he could take your clothes off you stop him, “Wait a minute.”

Heeseung frowned. Did you wanted to stop already? He didn’t have time to think before you suddenly got up and kneel down. Oh shit. Heeseung stared at you in shock.

“Are you, doing what I think you’re doing?” He said, unsure if you were actually gonna do it. You nodded and bit your lip. His hard dick leaking precum. You slowly grabbed it and stroked it slow. Heeseung threw his head back feeling you squeeze around the tip and went faster.

“Shit! Wait.” He muttered. You ignored him and put the just the tip in your mouth. You hummed finally being able to taste him. Heeseung let out a drawn moan feeling your hot wet tongue.

He grabbed your head and gently pushed your head deeper down. You obliged obediently and went back and forth. You felt his dick tense slightly, letting it rest on your tongue.

“Ah hell. Why are you so good at this?” He questioned. You took his dick out your mouth and stroked it.

“Google.” You simply said. Heeseung couldn’t help but let out a breathy chuckle. You smiled and went back to sucking his dick. He soon felt his climax coming and made you deep throat him.

You gagged a little but recomposed yourself and let him use you. You moaned when you felt his hot spurts of cum going down your throat. You made sure you swallowed every last drop before letting go with a pop.

You got back up and kissed him. He sighed into the kiss and pushed you back on the bed. He helped you take off your clothes and kissed along your chest. You whimpered when you felt him suck on one of your breast while fondling with the other.

You grabbed his hand and lead it down to your wet pussy, he rubbed it in circular motion.

“Please Heeseung put it in now. I can’t wait.” You ranted. Heeseung chuckled and slowly lined his dick at your entrance. He rubbed his dick alongside your folds making you mewl.

He finally entered inside you making you both moan in unison. He didn’t wait a second to let you get used to his size and went full speed. You moaned uncontrollably, not being able to hold back. Heeseung kissed you to make you a bit quiet.

“You’re so tight princess. Fuck, gonna breed this pussy dry.” He moaned. You nodded your head, long gone to even cooperate what he was saying. He grabbed both your legs and pushed them against you shoulders, having better access to fuck your hole.

You let out a cry when he hit your spot and arched your back. Heeseung smirked, not stopping his brutal pace on you. You felt your orgasm coming and bit your finger to stop yourself from being loud. Your orgasm came out long and drawn while Heeseung watched you unfold.

He gave out a few more thrust before cumming deep inside you. You let out pants and watched Heeseung take out his dick. He got up from the bed to the restroom and came back with a wash cloth.

He wiped the both of you off and helped you get dress. As you guys finished you finally looked at him.

“Heeseung, what are we?” You finally asked. Heeseung stared at you before giving you a small smile.

“Whatever you want us to be.” He replied. You bit your lip uncertain. He still had a girlfriend.

“Your girlfriend. What about her-“

“I broke up with her. Right when I saw you and Sunghoon leave to the balcony I knew you were the one.” He admitted. You felt your heart swell up and smiled.

“Then I want us to be together then Hee.” You whispered. Heeseung nodded and cupped your face.

“Whatever you want princess.” He said before giving you a peck. You then went back downstairs to the party and walked towards the exit. Before you left you saw Sunghoon talking to one of his friends.

You both made brief eye contact, but what surprise you was when Sunghoon gave you a smile and wink. You quickly felt yourself smiling back at him and waving bye.

You went inside Heeseungs car and buckled your seatbelt. Heeseung started the car while having his other hand on yours. You didn’t know what you guys were gonna do when you get home, but you knew you will sort things out tomorrow.

For now, you’ll enjoy this moment with his comfort surrounding you. And the love that was finally growing that you guys held out for so long.

[shadowkoo]

love me softly

→ Summary: When your long-distance boyfriend's visit falls through, you decide to make the most of your free time. But after a day out, you're in for an unexpected surprise when you get home.

↠ taeyong x f.reader | 1.9k words | 18+ ↠ genre: angst, fluff, smut, established relationship, idol au, long distance au

→ Warnings: lots of pet names, a touch of sad vibes in the beginning but that turns around pretty quickly, the sweetest softest smut i’ve written in a while, praise kink, the lightest hair pulling idk if it really counts lol, body worship (yong really really love his girl okay), creampie, unprotected & explicit sex, if i’m missing any lemme know

→ Networks: @k-vanity @ksmutsociety

→ Author Note: happy october :) this is just a lil shortie oneshot (which was supposed to be a drabble skldjfa;lksdfj) to get me back on writing track, i’ve got a big spooky fic coming in the next few weeks!! divider credit

“I know, baby, I’m sorry,” Taeyong mumbles through his phone. “It’s taking us longer to film than we anticipated, so I’m gonna be delayed another day at least.”

Your boyfriend had initially set aside time in his very busy schedule to come visit you after he finished filming his newest music video in LA; which should’ve wrapped up a few days ago. Since you live on opposite sides of the world, he wanted to take advantage of being only a few states apart instead continents apart. You’re just a quick three hour flight away and he’s been thinking about seeing you ever since he planned this break in his schedule.

Except his plans keep changing; first it was production problems and now it’s the weather. They just can’t catch a break. And all of this is cutting into the time he is supposed to spend with you.

“Is it even worth visiting now? We’ll only have a day or two left from the week we planned together."

Taeyong’s brows furrow, “It’s worth it to me, you’re worth it. I know it’s not ideal, baby, but I miss you so much. Even if we only have a couple of hours together, I’ll still come to you when this is finished.”

Hearing the film crew calling his name through the phone, you sigh, letting the welled up tears fall down your cheeks. They’re ready to start filming the next scene and he has to go, again. You won’t be seeing him today, again.

“Honey, I’m so sorry. I have to get back on set. I’ll text you later, okay?” Taeyong’s heart rips into pieces when he hears you sniffle.

“Okay, I love you,” you whisper.

“I love you so much, Y/N.” He hangs up and takes a couple of deep breathes, blinking back his own tears. He hates when you’re hurt, especially when it’s his fault. Taeyong lets out a puff of air, time to pull it together. The faster he perfects this scene and those to follow, the faster he can be on his way to you.

It’s the next day, and you wake up with swollen eyes from crying all night. You push back the blankets and force yourself to get up. Sitting at home and being sad all day won’t do you any good.

You know that it’s not Taeyong’s fault he keeps getting delayed, everything that’s happened has just been an unfortunate string of events. You’ll admit that going to see him had crossed your mind last night, but then you thought better of it.

Girlfriends at work can cause problems, you don’t want to distract him or be in the way of the crew. Plus, you two haven’t fully gone public with your relationship yet. His management team has been informed for a while now, and other NCT member’s know too.

But the millions of fans? That’s a daunting step that you two haven’t taken yet. You’re not necessarily hiding your relationship, but you’re not flaunting it out in front of the world either.

As you get dressed, you shoot a quick text to your friend Fia to confirm your plans for coffee and a trip to the bookstore. Running on little sleep, you're in serious need of caffeine, and you've been eagerly waiting for your favorite author’s new book to drop.

She replies almost instantly, saying she’s in and excited to see you. You skip your usual makeup routine and throw your hair into a loose ponytail before heading out the door.

Stepping outside onto the leaf-littered sidewalk, you can’t help but smile—it’s finally October, your favorite time of year. The air feels crisp, and everything has that warm, cozy vibe that you love, from now until the end of the year. It’s the perfect season for coffee dates, soft sweaters, and losing yourself in a good book.

Fia is saving you a window seat inside her favorite cafe, “Hi! It’s been too long, I got you an Iced Pumpkin Chai.” She cheerfully hands you the drink, “So, how have you been? I thought Taeyong would be coming with you?”

“Ahh, right,” you say, before taking your first sip. “He’s stuck in LA unfortunately, but I still wanted to catch up you.”

“Oh no, that’s a bummer,” she says, resting a hand on your arm. “How are you handling it?”

“Better than last time, but it’s still not fun.”

“I bet, well if you get lonely you’re always welcome to come stay with me. I don’t think James will mind.” James is Fia’s elderly cat, who takes his naps on the windowsill quite seriously. He’s to sleepy to care when Fia has visitors, as you’ve witnessed.

“I might take you up on that offer.”

Meeting up with Fia completely turned your day around. The two of you sipped coffee, chatted about your latest reads, and vented about the upcoming book-to-movie adaptations that are sure to fall short. Then, you made your way to the bookstore, continuing the conversation.

After each grabbing a few books, Fia convinces you to go thrift shopping with her next. By the time you finally make it home, your arms are loaded with the day’s haul.

You set down the bags so you can punch in your door key code, letting yourself in. The afternoon sunlight shines through your windows, illuminating the beautiful bouquet of marigolds on your table with a warm glow.

‘Hmm, that’s weird,’ you think to yourself as you set the bags down next to them, ‘Did I buy these earlier this week and forget about them? That would be just like me with everything that’s been on my mind.’

You think nothing of it and head to your bedroom, ready to change into comfier clothes for the rest of the night. Earlier, on the walk home you decided you’d spend the rest of your night by making your favorite soup for dinner, and then settling in for a Halloweentown movie marathon.

Just inside your bedroom door, you see a hoodie drapped over a suitcase. Your heart swells as your eyes drift over to the bed, where your boyfriend is peacefully sleeping. Not wanting to wake him, you change quietly and climb into bed and wrap yourself around him, you need to make sure this is real and not a figment of your imagination.

He rolls over and envelops you in his arms, kissing you softly. “Mmm, I was wondering when you’d get back.”

It’s really him.

“How are you here right now?” you ask, pulling back to scan his face.

“We finished filming late last night. Well technically this morning around 3am, and I got on the first available flight.”

“How long have you been here?” you ask next.

“Not long, just enough for me to change out of airport clothes and climb in bed,” he chuckles, pulling you back in for another sweet kiss. His lips gently press against yours and a hand reached around to the back of your head, letting down your hair so his fingers could run through the loose strands.

Taeyong tugs your hair with the lightest touch, but enough for you to let out a soft gasp. He uses the opportunity to push his tongue in past your parted lips.

Your hands rub up his solid chest, and you moan into his mouth as his kisses get a little more rough, a little more desperate.

“Did you like your flowers?” he asks when your lips are just barely touching.

“They’re beautiful,” you giggle, “I couldn’t figure out where they came from. I thought I might have gone crazy.”

“I saw them at the market just down the street and they reminded me of how radiant you always are.” His eyes gaze into yours and you can see that he really means that. Your heart melts.

“Ugh, I missed you,” you murmur before pulling him in for another long kiss, only separating when you need air.

He admires how swollen and wet your lips are while he hovers over you, looking down with desire-filled eyes.

“I missed you so much. I missed kissing you. I missed the way you taste. The way you mewl when I touch you right here,” he whispers, his hand slipping in between your legs, sliding them under your panties until his fingers find their way home.

Tossing your head back into the pillows, you squeeze your eyes shut as one finger, and then two, dip inside your slick heat.

“God, so wet already.” His fingers pump into you again and they curl at the right moment, lighting your body on fire. He keeps a leisurely pace, wanting to savor every second of this. He can take you from behind later. Right now he wants to prove how much he missed you. How much he loves you.

“Mmm, yes,” you moan, having longed for this so much over the past few months. He knows you so well, your body is so in tune with his. “Let me touch you too,” you breath as your fingers find his waistband. You stroke his growing length. Feeling the weight of him in your palm has always makes your mouth water for what is to come.

Rough Taeyong is devilishly hot, but soft and sensual Taeyong is a whole other breed of demon. He’ll worship you until you’re a dripping mess.

He watches intently as your eyes flutter shut, knowing very well that you’re close. He strategically presses his thumb up against your aching clit, rubbing in dangerous circles until he feels your walls start to tense. “Come for me, babe. Come all over my fingers like the good girl I know you are.”

His words are enough to send you over the edge. He swallows your loud moans while you clench around his fingers, coming beautifully undone and writhing underneath him.

Taeyong lets you ride out the waves, completely captivated by how ethereal you look in that moment. “You’re a goddess,” he breathes, bending down to meet your mouth once again. He pulls back, only to remove your clothing before removing his own.

“Love me, ‘Yongie,” you beg, needing to feel him inside you, just needing him.

“Always.” He moves a hand to cup your cheek while he slowly sinks into your wet slit. No matter how many times he’s with you, he’ll never get over how perfect you are. He bites back a moan when he hits your cervix. A perfect fucking fit, every single time.

He moves with a pace so slow it feels like divine torture. “I’ll never get tired of this,” he groans, pulling out until just his tip is held between your folds, then rolling his hips back inward.

“OH my god,” you moan, your nails digging into his bare back, “You feel so good.”

Taeyong nestles his head into your neck, bringing you closer and closer to the release that you crave.

“I’m close, baby, so close,” you whine. “Come in me,” you beg, pleading for him to release into you. 

Taeyong hisses, his movements becoming more jerky. “I love you,” he groans as the coil snaps inside you. Waves of pleasure wash over your body, the sparks tingling through your veins. He follows your suit, tensing as your inner walls writhe around his length, milking him of his creamy seed.

He collapses next to you, whispering I love you’s into your ear as you both catch your breath.

“So,” you begin once you finally remember how to speak, “Wanna help me make dinner?”

“In a bit,” he sighs, pulling your limp body on top of his to kiss you lazily, “I’m not done loving you yet.”

→ Taglist: @beomcoups @mar-lo @starsrens (join here)

©shadowkoo 2024. All rights reserved.

[throughthetwistedmirror]

The Deal with Eels ~ *Jade & Floyd Leech*

Summary: You need money which you know you can get from the Leech brothers. However, you know it'll come with strings attached. Hopefully, they won't figure it out...

Pairing: N/A

Genre: Fluffy Drabble

Word Count: 844

Warning: N/A

Masterlist

"Well, well, well, if it isn't our little Shrimpy!" You cringed at the obnoxious voice shouting from behind you. 

It's not that you didn't love the Leech twins, it's just that someone let it slip to them that you were in need of money. And those two always tried to lend a helping hand for a modest fee. You really weren't about to sink to their level just so you could get a loan.

A heavy arm wrapped around your shoulder and Floyd's voice whispered in your ear. "Why are you running away so fast?"

"Don't you want to say hello to your dear friends?" Jade added from your other side.

You gave them both a small smile. "Hello. Can I please go now?"

"Nonsense!" Jade shook his head. "We want to treat you at the Mostro Lounge. Please, let us escort you there."

You tried to shake your head, dig in your heels, refuse in the nicest way possible. But the twins are strong and there are two of them and only one of you. You didn't stand a chance.

Before you knew it, you were sitting in a secluded booth in the Lounge. Some fruity little drink was before you and Jade assured you that an assortment of food was on the way. However you weren't hungry and you weren't thirsty either. You were anxious and it was tying your stomach in knots. You wished they would just get to the point already.

"Look, whatever you're going to propose, I have to politely decline. It's not that I don't want to do business with you, it's just-"

"Who says we're looking to do business with you?" Jade chuckled behind his hand.

Floyd wickedly grinned and it made your stomach flip. "This is a friendly little lunch. Between dear friends."

"Forgive me for being suspicious." You muttered.

Jade shook his head, his polite smile falling into a frown. "My, my. We offer to help a friend out and this is the thanks we get? I don't know Floyd, I don't think they're our friend after all."

His brother frowned as well. "No, not at all. That's such a shame. I really enjoyed hanging out with you, Shrimpy."

You sighed. You suppose it couldn't hurt to at least hear them out. "Alright, what is it you wanted to speak to me about?"

Jade smiled once more. "That's more like it."

"We've heard through the current that you're in need of some money." Floyd explained. "And we want to help! That's what friends are for, right?"

"I guess..."

"We'll lend you all the money you need for as long as you're a student at Night Raven College, in exchange for a couple of flavors." Jade added.

There it was. The sticking point. The fee that made you wish you never took the deal in the first place. But, what you hope they didn't anticipate was you could play the friend card as well.

"A couple favors? I thought we were friends, boys." You simpered, batting your eyelashes for extra effect.

Floyd laughed out loud. "You're going to have to try harder than that, Shrimpy!"

"But couldn't we do it one favor each?" You begged a little, pouting.

The twins glanced at each other, a look exchanged between them. They turned back to you with their own special kinds of smiles. Your stomach twisted tighter and you were thankful you didn't eat because you suddenly got nauseous.

"A favor each? That sounds doable." Jade nodded. "My favor will be you are now my partner to gather mushrooms for as long as you are an NRC student."

It didn't sound so bad when he said it like that, but you knew he would make you go every weekend at the crack of dawn. Still, it could be a lot worse.

"And you have to do my homework whenever I ask you to do it." Floyd added.

Again, when he said it like that, it didn't sound like the worst punishment ever. But combine the two favors together, it was going to make your stay at NRC feel even longer. You weren't entirely sure you could accept these favors.

But you really needed the money. Ramshackle dorm was falling apart, despite your best efforts to make it at least habitable. And Grim was desperate for fancy tuna to snack on. All of that cost money you didn't have. While you loved working at Mr. S's Shop, it still didn't pay the bills. Besides, you knew that the Leech twins had more than enough to go around. They could make all of your financial troubles go away at the snap of your fingers.

"Counter offer: I do all of that until I no longer need money. Then we part ways as unlikely friends."

Again, the twins glanced at each other before turning back to you and grinning. "Deal."

As you shook their hands, you knew in the back of your mind you just made a deal with a pair of devils. Still, you supposed it could be worse…

[yandere--stuck]

(This is the anon about ur zagreus fic! sorry for sending this as an ask, your submission box is closed as far as i can tell,, either way, enjoy <3)

You’d seen the Prince of the Underworld, for the first time, on the day you set foot here.

Dying was a lot to take in, to no one’s surprise. One moment you were merely falling asleep, the next you were clawing your way to the surface of a crimson river. You were sore all over, legs trembling as you walked. (No, gods, did you even really have legs anymore? Were you walking or floating?) It all went by in a haze. The person (shade, man, god?) listing your cause of death after startling awake, and having you take your place in the line.

Your mind drifting to better times became much more difficult when you’re faced with the near obliterating gaze of Lord Hades, looking straight through you for his judgement. Maybe you wouldn’t be as eager to sink through the floor if he hadn’t shown his displeasure with the person in front of you for an ‘ignorant request’. Was it possible for shades to cry? You supposed you were about to find out.

Then, a flash of red made you jump, cutting in front of you as you were about to take another step forward. You blinked, and there was now a man. His skin gray and hair dark, he had a striking resemblance to Hades on his throne. Even the wreath matched. But his actions couldn’t be more of a stark opposite with the stern god in front of you. He cooed at the dog, the exact words he was saying lost on you, and it leaned toward him. It was such a ridiculous sight, the gigantic Cerberus sticking its tongue out and wagging his tail, craning its head for more scratches underneath its chin, that it broke you from your panic and made you muffle a laugh.

Not even Lord Hades snapping at, what you assume to be, his son to cease bothering the dog, got you nearly as scared again. You never got the chance to, in one way or another, thank him. Despite being dead, you were certain you would’ve never lived it down if you burst into tears at the moment of your judgement. Your sentence was given, and received.

Elysium is beautiful.

It’s a privilege to be here, of course you’re aware. To share these hallowed grounds with the greatest heroes of history, ones you’d only heard wild tales about, and to roam these fields of endless green is a wish for many. The reward you received for a lifetime of servitude as one of Artemis’ hunting attendants, and never falling out of your goddesses' grace while doing so. But, even in a gorgeous place such as this one, there are still things left to mull over. Besides regrets made during your life, you sometimes think back to your first day here, and to the prince that saved you from humiliation, without being aware. You had made your mind up to, if you ever encountered a second time, to pay your dues.

There are few things for the dead to indulge in. Rumours are one of them, especially ones as grand as the supposed escape attempt of the prince, Zagreus. The whispers among the shades spoke of an upcoming battle between him, Theseus and Asterius. You’re sure everyone is welcome to watch as Theseus enjoys fighting in front of as large of an audience as possible. The thought makes you giddy, too. Not only do you get to see the prince again, you can show him your appreciation in such a direct way, too. You’d used flowers for the red of your banner, at first. It took ages and wasn’t bright enough for your liking. With enough travelling through the fields however, you came across more and more puddles of dried blood. Whose it used to be, you don’t know, but you used some. They wouldn’t be needing it anymore, would they? Your clothes were still dyed with flowers, though.

When the rumours turn out true, you’re one of the first in the line. You’d expected most of the visitors to be in support of the minotaur or his friend, but you weren’t anticipating being the sole person cheering for Zagreus. There’s no time to care for it. Your shame died along with you. Either way, you’re much more enthralled by the scene unfolding in front of you. The movements are so quick they’re hard to keep track of, a flurry of attempted hits, the prince dashing around as he shoots a flurry of arrows. (You swear he catches your eyes one, and as selfish as the thought is, you think you made him smile.) A spear pierces his chest, and his body falls to the ground.

He returns, dies, returns, returns and dies. You are there for every battle. At one point, you pick up the habit of waving at him as soon as he enters the battlefield, and he returns the gesture. During the fight, you call out his name, your voice lost in the ocean of cheers. (Once again, it’s a self indulgent thought, but Zagreus always moves towards the part of the arena opposite of you, glancing in what you think might be your general direction.) To soften the ache in your heart every time he is forced to sink to his knees, you observe. He lasts longer every time, gets better at dodging, manages to hit more, and then- No longer is he the one forced to accept his losses. Just like during his fights, it’s impossible to tear your eyes away from him.

“I dedicate this victory to you, my Good Shade!” And yet, it still comes as a surprise. To have him staring up at you, smiling widely, as if you aren’t merely one dead among many, on an entirely different, lower level than his. In your journey to show your appreciation for him, you’ve only gained his in return. (Though you’re certain that this is the most personal interaction you’ll have with him; two very separate existences, only interacting for a moment.) You lean over the railing of the arena, and give a smile of your own.

~~~

some noootes…! like i said this was inspired by your yandere!zagreus post,, i wanted to write a little something from reader’s perspective <3!! i added the attendant of artemis detail out of self indulgence,,, they wouldve been sworn to have no relationships during their life so they might not immediately realise how out of the ordinary zagreus is acting later on :P and them using zagreus’ blood for their banner for him was just ironic to me lmao,, hope u enjoyed it <33!!! thanks for ur writing <3

OH MY GOD ANON THIS SO AMAZING!!!!!!!! YOU'RE SUCH A TALENTED WRITER OMG!!!!! I love your prose and the way you write out actions! This is so creative and, using Zag's own blood for the banner?? UGH. I can't get over it. This drabble my beloved.....

I love this sm and I can't thank you enough for submitting this, this is just. Incredible!!!!! :DDDD

[feralmoonlight]

Have teaser? Based on the ‘caught in a storm and finding refuge at a pizzaplex with no power(and a moody moon)’ drabble idea from over here I did a bit ago. -- You didn’t have time to think about how you’d ended up in this storm. Not while the wind whipped around you hard enough to throw you to the ground every other gust. Or while you tried to keep your head on a swivel to dodge and dive out of the way of anything that might be hurtling towards you. You hadn’t intended to be outside right now, but you hadn’t had another choice. Trying to get somewhere else you could hunker down had turned into your top priority, pushing your usually bad luck to its limits to make sure it didn’t run out entirely as your feet pounded down wet sidewalks at as blistering a pace as you could keep up. Neighbors hadn’t been an option, and most of your usual hangouts were already closed and barricaded in anticipation of the dangerous weather. Your next closest option was somewhere halfway across town. Not impossible by foot, but even with a car it was a solid fifteen minutes at least. Not that you had a car at your disposal, but the roads were hardly safe to drive with the way the water was already starting to create rivers over the asphalt. One small favor from the powers that be came in the form of your route, while direct, still had places you could theoretically take shelter by, at risk. Large buildings that didn’t have too much outside clutter to get kicked up, heavy awnings that might make little pockets where the wind and the rain, and anything else that did manage to take flight, wouldn’t be able to reach you…

You’d already stopped once when lightning made itself very known, striking a power poll just down the street from you and plunging the rest of the road into darkness. It sent you scrambling away from the open sidewalk, a smaller strip mall giving you someplace to hide. Another gust of wind shoved back against you, funneled down along the shopfronts until you tucked yourself back against the alcove of what looked like a bakery, the door set back in the wall by just a few feet, but it was enough that the change was immediate, and the correction against the wind you’d kept up left you leaning hard to your left to shouldercheck the bricks. It howled in anger. The storm cutting across the almost dry little pocket you found for yourself. The water on the ground rippled in waves as it was pushed across the parking lot, rain sliding horizontal and turning the open ground into a thick haze where you could barely make out the street as another bolt of lightning lit up the sky. A sudden, wrenching groan of metal pulled your attention away from the ferocity of nature, straining your eyes as you saw a spark farther along the lot. A loud crash and scrape had you guessing one of the big signs that advertised the shops of this storefront had lost its battle against the breeze, now on its own journey as it was pushed farther down the sidewalk you’d been traveling along moments ago. It wouldn’t have hit you, maybe, but it did tell you one thing. The wind was just getting stronger. This storm wasn’t even supposed to hit here. Your town didn’t get hurricanes. This was stupid. You were stupid. Could have just dealt with shit at home but no, here you were, in the middle of a damn hurricane, running across town. You could see the water starting to expand its territory over the lip of the walkway, creeping closer to your refuge faster than you liked. You wouldn’t be able to stay here for much longer, especially not with the way the awning you’d thought was solid gave a horrible rattle, the clatter louder than the surrounding thunder as it made you jump. Soaking wet, heart pounding hard against your chest, it was now or never as the fight or flight instinct had you bolting back into the storm. On one hand, the more open area made you feel like you were safer, soggy shoes slamming ankle deep in your sprint across the flooded lot. On the other, it made you an easier target for all the things you could no longer see. A fact made very obvious as something thin and solid smacked hard against your shoulder. The thick, rain-heavy hoodie was enough to keep you from incurring more than a bruise from what you’re assuming was a loose branch, kicked up by the wind and flung around like a projectile, but actually getting hit by anything had you second… triple guessing the decision to brave the rain. You could see a little bit better where you were going. As the storm worsened, so did the lightning. It didn’t bother you normally but now? Now it was deadly. And concerning. The blackness of the initial power outage had lifted to a dark haze, flickering back and forth with hues of gold and teal and green. If you were inside, it might be beautiful, but as the sky roared and grumbled around you it only elevated the sense of urgency to hide. There was no warning as something huge slammed into your back. It sent you flying, feet leaving the ground for a split second as you lurched forward. A mouthful of water accompanied the sudden harsh burn that spread over your back, gasping in shock and coughing immediately after. Water pushed at you sideways, only a handful of inches deep, when had it gotten so deep, sliding you down the road slowly. Hacking and struggling to find purchase you tried to push yourself up, barely getting your elbows under you, planting your toes against the ground with little luck against the shallow river the street had become. “F-fuck.” Not really an elegant thought, but who was around to hear it. Your back was on fire, and trying to push yourself up only made it pulse in pain that much harder. You knew it was bad. There was no way it wasn’t. Farther down the road, carried by the wind, a sheet of something, solid and rolling awkwardly, made its escape. Metal siding? Part of someone's shed? Something ripped off a roof somewhere? It was anyone's guess as it finally disappeared from sight, your range of vision limited by the ever pouring sky. Your hand slipped and for a moment you found yourself washed over by the flood again, still shoving you farther down the road like nature's cruelest slip-n-slide. Luckily, maybe, it didn’t last too much longer. Something solid blocked your path, a vehicle that hadn’t been parked somewhere safe, still braving the storm just like you, finally halted your lazy river adventure. Just enough of a break to let you catch your breath, the icy cold of the water doing its own small favor of washing over your back. You didn’t have to try hard to ignore how bad that really was, all the grime of the streets and whatever else the weather had stirred up into the deluge could not have been good for what you were pretty sure was an open wound. But you really didn’t want to think about that. This was going to be a whole new problem to deal with, assuming you actually could get somewhere safe now. You weren’t sure how far down the road you’d been swept. Hopefully not far. You honestly couldn’t tell. Everything looked the same when you tried to squint against the rain. You weren’t even sure which street you’d ended up on. Another massive clap of lightning streaked across the sky, just enough to illuminate the frame of a larger building, huge against the darkened sky, but standing like a beacon of safety, if you could manage to get to it. Maybe even inside. Hell, you might even try to break in if you had to, at this rate. Consequences be damned. At least something that big wouldn’t get blown away easily, you hoped.

[zarnzarn]

Stolitz fic rec!!

||

I'm going to just drop my favorite stolitz fics here.

They run at night by @wearemisfortune

Blitzo is always moving because when his body stops, his mind races. This almost always leads to a terrible fucking idea.

Tonight is no different—but the result will be.

-lovely angst, lovely climax, and it captures Blitz's line of thinking in a serious tone but in a way still feels authentic to the character. And I'm ALWAYS a sucker for the sheer unconditional trust trope.

Junctures by @sluttycrimehat

To everything, there is a season.

-I still am in complete awe of how the author managed to fit so much in such little time. The bit at the end always fucking gets me, I love it so MUCH.

The last general by @curtailed

It's in a month after, with Stolas spent and lying on his side, that Blitzo finally musters up the courage to tell him.

-Hello??? BEAUTIFUL post-harvest moon fic, wonderful vibes, love how well they know each other in this one, the trust is amazing. Love it.

You got everything that I want by @bipridemoth

Stolas can’t recall a time where “love” wasn’t synonymous with “pain” for him.

With Blitzo, it’s not love. So, there’s no pain. Stolas doesn’t let there be pain, at least not emotionally, the physical pain is something he quite enjoys. When Blitzo leaves after their monthly night together, he doesn’t allow himself to feel pain, only anticipation of the next time. He likes that there’s always a next time, even though that’s because of his active incentive more than anything else. But that’s alright, he doesn’t want Blitzo to come see him without an incentive. He deserves favors in turn for what he’s giving Stolas.

-Stolas angst!!!! The angst really is delicious in this one, with just as nice of a happy ending. Blitz is confident about the relationship, which is Wonderful to read and the "I know where this is going" segment had me in TEARS.

Between fairy tales and realities by @coloringthegreyscale

Blitzo's a complicated imp and Striker and Stolas accept that. But what happens when the two worlds he's made for himself collide together for one night? Well...

-Okay, so yes, this is striker/blitz/stolas, but it's so good. All three of them have a lovely dynamic, managing to work out somehow, with powerful Stolas, wonderful Blitz and a HILARIOUS Striker. Go read the series, it's a lot of fun and has many cute interactions that made me smile.

The look by @seireileafy

Blitz has been noticing a change in Stolas.

-It's such a CUTE drabble, I adore when one person can tell the other is pining for them, and the LAST LINE FUCKING GETS ME EVERY TIME-

Instead I made my bed with apathy by @thebooklord15

Just like every night before this one, Blitzo glared at the form next to him, already lulled into the bliss of slumber. He had never meant for things to turn out this way-he’d gotten the grimoire already, he didn’t need this man and from the way Stolas treated him it was clear he did not need the imp either.

And yet.

-Jcjdkafj this one is so GOOD I love blitz being pissed off yet too deep in to stop, and like I've said for others already THAT LAST LINE, PLEASE-

Call and response by anon

It was a love story, maybe.

-short but deliciously angsty, with some beautiful imagery, really nice dialogue, and time-doesn't-exist-in-this-motel-room vibes. Love it.

Shovel proof by @kereea

Octavia tries to give Blitzo the shovel talk. He decides to help with that.

-FUCKING cute, love the Octavia/Blitz dynamic, and it has snappy fun dialogue!! Really sweet.

Reaching out, touching me, touching you by @allmightshipserasermic

Stolas hasn’t been able to preen sufficiently in quite awhile, since Stella refuses to do it for him anymore. Blitzo offers to help.

-PREENING FIC is there anything more I have to say?

The skin you could have by @coloringthegreyscale

Stolas catches Blitzo staring and it leads to some talk, some magic, and a little bit of fun.

-Again, BEAUTIFUL dynamic between the two, lots of angsty tenderness, and lovely body imagery.

Different shapes by @sirdust

“Before the exorcist, he taketh the image and shape of a man.”

Blitz catches a glimpse of Stolas’ human form.

-okay, practically a direct opposite of the previous fic, but SO GOOD, I can't describe it. Love the imagery and their comfortable relationship.

A helluva mess by @stratumgermanitivum

It’s not like Stolas isn’t a hot piece of ass, because he is.

And it’s not like Blitzo’s blind or anything, because he isn’t.

It’s just that there’s pleasure, and then there’s business, and never the twain shall meet. (Unless he finally gets Moxx on board with that threeway, in which case, Blitzo fully intends to christen every damn surface of the office except his precious Loony’s desk.)

-AMAZING, love the pining and denial on both sides it's so great especially since you can tell both sides know that they've messed up. Again, LAST LINE!!

Eat the whole cake (it's what you deserve) by @okoyik

"His Highness is on the phone for you, sir," Moxxie says.

Blitzo makes a face. "Who?"

"Stolas," Moxxie supplies, as if that's supposed to help Blitzo understand. His expression is surely one of complete confusion as he stares at the other imp.

"Who the fuck is Stolas?" Blitzo asks slowly, racking his brain for a face to put to the name.

-

Blitzo's memory starts to slip, and all he knows is he needs that owl that seems to haunt his nightmares to stay away.

-HELLO it's only on one out of four chapters for now but it's already SO GOOD I can't WAIT for the rest!!!

Stand tall, but your hands are shaking by @remymorton

It’s been a month since the Harvest Moon festival. Another full moon night arrived, and after that... Blitz ... He's not well.

-wordless cute comfort, truly very sweet, I love it.

Palaces and souvenirs by @cloudysonder

So Stolas is objectively. Objectively. Attractive. Kinda soft-looking, sometimes. Pretty. Whatever. Fuckin’ whatever. That’s always been a thing. Blitzo knew that, Stolas definitely knew that-- whatever.

"This is not," Blitzo thinks, sounding a little bit desperate even to himself, "some sort of revelation."

His flicks of the lighter get a little more unstable, a little more frustrated.

A clawed hand reaches over and takes hold of the lighter, lighting Blitzo’s cigarette with practiced ease, as if he’d done the same thing a thousand times before (He has, Blitzo realizes).

“Silly Blitzy,” he giggles quietly, giving Blitzo a soft pat on the head before curling up beside him, stretching one last time before closing his eyes to sleep.

Blitzo feels warm.

"This," Blitzo tells himself, and it sounds like a command, "will not be a problem."

-I saw the start of this fic on Twitter and have been following it religiously ever since. It's really a gorgeous fic, three chapters up, with the promise of a Great slow burn, fun dialogue and Octavia & Blitz bonding. The level of denial Blitz is in even as he moves comfortably around every aspect of Stolas' life cracks me tf up.

Can't by @hazbincalifornia

Blitzo realizes he feels something something that he doesn't want to feel. This was supposed to be simple.

-feelings realization fic, wonderful, amazing, lovely, also the exact same way I realized I was gay, funnily enough (girl fell asleep in my lap and I was like oh. Oh fuck.)

Too late to stop by @malkaviancake

Stolas spends some time with his thoughts, realizing that his feelings for Blitzo aren't as one sided as he presumed.

-GORGEOUS vocab, I'm truly very obsessed with it. Like most of these stories, LAST LINE!!!!

Itchy with want, thin on sleep by me

It happens in parts- both falling in love and having his eyes opened.

-I will,, finish this one day, but for now here's a few in between moments before they have The Conversation.

Heaven in hiding by me

Their nights together are good, they always are, both of their tastes lining up to be shockingly compatible, but on the days where they end early and they get to spend some extra time cleaning up in comfortable silence or playful banter- and Blitz would rather take a bullet than admit this out loud- but those nights are pretty great too.

-AFTERCARE FIC, I had to write an aftercare fic ft. Good dom Blitz, Stolas taking care of him in return and a comfortable relationship that they both know is going to cause Problems in the future :)

Love in the bones and sinews of this curse by me

Five times Stolas and Blitz needed the grimoire to break a curse + one time they didn't.

-self explanatory. I tried to make it as funny as possible, everyone bickers a lot and Blitz brings Stolas flowers and gifts, what more could you need?

Life is a curse (love makes it worse) by me

"Alright!" Blitz says, clapping his hands together, "Weapons out, and-"

Half pull out some gun or the other, but half just look at him blankly. Blitz wishes for death.

"Save me from this family," He mutters under his breath, "Okay. Take these then." He passes out the few weapons he'd brought along with him and doesn't ask if they know how to use them because if he hears a no, he's giving up and going back home. "Stick close and talk loudly so the others can hear us. Let's go."

They move out, Blitz taking the lead and the rest forming a circle close behind him, starting up a loud conversation about the neighbour's garden. It gives him enough time to wonder exactly what the fuck he's doing here, in a nightmare world with a bunch of pretentious snobs, searching for his stupid Ars Goetia boyfriend, instead of sleeping in his nice lumpy bed back at home.

-a sequel to the previous fic!!! I had to write some Octavia and Blitz bonding, and accidentally added in a bunch of teenage imps who work for Stolas who imprint on Blitz immediately. And there's Eldritch Stolas, protective boyfriends and found family!!! The whole shebang!!!

This ended up being Much longer than I'd expected, but genuinely every fic up there is really good, go check em out!!!!

[mendespideys]

rescue | t.h.

pairing: tom holland x lifeguard!reader

warnings: drowning, i guess, although it is definitely not mentioned or described but still. staying under water a lil bit longer than what’s normal?

summary: you’re a lifeguard and when tom is playing in the pool with harrison and stays under for too long, you come to his aid 

a/n: soo... apparently this was supposed to be for a writing contest hosted by  @sunshinehollandd and @naturallytom that i never finished. oops 🤭

i found it among my 92 drafts and decided to finish it - sort of. It’s more a quick drabble than anything (that i am not proud of) but oh well. at least it’s something, right? so enjoy!

With your brand new sunglasses resting on the bridge of your nose, you settle back into the chair towering above the pool guests. The sun beams down from above, toasting the back of your neck that the umbrella was unable to protect. 

The endless laughter from children, the frustrated scolds from parents, and the splashing of the water beneath you blend together into mere background noise. You shift in your seat, fishing out your bottle from your backpack. To be fair, it’s more a block of ice than water, but your throat relishes the few drops that do fall out as you tip the bottle upwards. 

While you knew your job needed the upmost level of detail, you no longer felt the constant need to pay attention to every single guest. You had been at this long enough to trust your body to react on its own accord and was nowhere near as uptight as you had been your first day. 

Relaxing back into your chair, you let your hidden gaze glide across the people that had taken the trip to your turf today. One of your favorite parts of the job, contrary to what some people might think, was the people watching. There is just something about observing people as they unknowingly go about their day.

Your eyes fall on Mina first. The fourteen year old girl is always there so it comes as no surprise. You watch proudly as she practices her butterfly stroke. Her ceaseless training had done wonders for her technique and you make a mental note to compliment her when she eventually gives up for the day. 

There are a few other regulars as well. Mr. and Mrs. Norris; the retired couple that would come every weekend to work on their tans. Sasha; the single mom that also comes every weekend with her twin boys, Adam and George. Mr. Thomas; an older gentleman who seemed to enjoy speaking with you more than the actual swimming part. And then there was Paddy, who had just recently started visiting. 

The young freckled boy (teenager, Paddy would correct) seemed to also be practicing his techniques much like Mina. There had been a fair share of conversations between the two of you and you had to admit that you enjoyed his company. 

Your eyes land on the two men next to him that he appears to be talking to. You refrain the urge to roll your eyes as you keep watching them, their water fight becoming more intense by the second. Paddy seems to be cheering them on, but you can’t make out his words. Boys. 

While water fights are definitely not unusual for you to witness, this is different as the young men look to be about your own age. For some reason unbeknownst to you, you’re unable to tear your eyes away from the two of them. Or, more specifically, the tone back muscles of the brunette with his back to you. 

They are both extremely attractive - that truth is undeniable. As their playful fighting becomes physical, you finally catch a glimpse of the brunette. The black sunglass that had been nestled in his wet curls were knocked off and long forgotten the second they came in contact with the chlorinated water. 

Your brows perked with amusement as you kept your eyes on the two. A little entertainment in an otherwise mundane work day didn’t hurt, right? The brunette almost effortlessly hops onto the blond’s back, a non-threatening chokehold around his neck. The overpowering does not last for long and before either you or him, it seemed, could anticipate it, the blond had successfully knocked him off and into the water. 

The blond surfaced rather quickly, a triumphant grin dancing on his lips. You chuckled to yourself quietly, anxiously waiting for the attractive brunette to resurface as well. You were rather curious about how he would handle his loss. However, as a few more seconds pass and still no brown locks to be seen, you’re in full lifeguard mode. 

You’re on autopilot. You had trained for years and while you rarely had to actually utilize your skills, it did happen occasionally. Your body doesn’t even react to the temperature difference as your toasted skin comes in contact with the chilled water. You make your way over to the small group in record time, grabbing ahold of the brunette’s arm just as he seems to make his way back up.

His coughs enter your ears as soon as you pull him to the surface and toward the edge of the pool. You’re well-aware of the small audience you have, feeling the burns of their curious stares, but ignore them dutifully and get back to the situation at hand. 

He seems to be conscious enough and helps you out by hoisting himself up on the ledge. You pretend not to notice the way his toned biceps tense as he does so. You quickly hoist yourself up as well, the sun immediately resuming its toasting the minute your body is out of the water. 

You offer a rather pathetic pat on the back as his ceaseless coughs continue. Eventually, he’s able to halt his coughing, his chest heaving as he tries to get enough air into his lungs without irritating his throat again. 

“Are you okay?” you question, hiding your worry behind the professionalism you had adopted summers ago. “See, this is why lifeguards typically frown upon fighting in the water. Playfully or not.”

He nods, finally turning to meet your eyes. You choke down the gasp that involuntarily made its way up your throat. His brown orbs sparkle in the sun and you are immediately mesmerized by their beauty. Still, the way the embarrassment that had been swimming within them was replaced by shock and curiosity the moment they met your gaze didn’t go unnoticed by you.

“I-I’m good,” he brown-eyed man responds, swallowing thickly. The corner of his mouth turns upward as he runs a slightly unsteady hand through his wet curls. “Thanks for coming to my rescue.”

“Well, it is my job,” you retort, a playful smile settling on your lips. “Your poor fighting technique was amusing, so I was already watching.”

“You sure that’s the only thing you were watching, darling?” He’s full-on smirking now and you, once again, refrain from rolling your eyes at his childish antics. 

“Y/N!” 

You turn toward the familiar voice, watching with curious eyes as Paddy swims toward the two of you, the older blond hot on his heel. The freckled teen looks between you and the brunette, not even bothering to hide his amusement. His gaze lands on the brunette who looks at him expectantly. 

“This is why I’m the swimmer and you’re the actor, Tom,” Paddy snorts. 

Tom. So that was his name. 

“Well, Pads, if I had known you were here hanging out with - Y/N, was it? - almost everyday then maybe I’d be here more often and would be a better swimmer.” 

thanks for reading! i haven’t been on here in forever and i don’t know if you want to be on the taglist anymore, so let me know if you want to be taken off 🤓

@tomhollanders2013 // @people-leadingcauseofstress // @lucille-lovely-blog // @twinklestqr // @big-booty-judyy // @tomshufflepuff // @all-black-darling // @whyisbuckysodelicious // @winning-raffl-ticket // @goldenmarvelgirl // @lovethyfandoms2 // @caitsymichelle13  // @itsthwippingtime  // @tony-stank3 // @lauras-collection // @iamcalledsteph // @spideyboix // @heyquackson// @ameliathackray  // @clara-licht // @sltwins // @amberboo329 // @heroes-die-young // @turtoix // @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh // @masintahin // @bbynessaxo // @greenarrowhead // @mendes-marvel //  @heycutiepatooty // @addictofharry // @simplycute-98​ // 

[curly-bangtan]

Heatwave Drabble #9: sweet night (M)

[Heatwave // Godless // Heatwave Drabbles] <- must read first!

Pairing: Taehyung x reader

Summary: After a series of miscommunications and immaturity that lead to a rip through both your friendship and ambiguous relationship, this last turn of events could be the deciding factor of whether or not you’ve lost each other from your lives forever.

Genre: angst, smut, fwb au, roommate au, f2l

Warnings: SO much angst and feels, slight slow burner and a lot of build up, unprotected sex, hot tub, oral (m&f), food play, crying, i don’t want to give too much away eeee

Word count: 23.8k a monster i know ;-;

A/N: The end is finally here!! It’s late but trust me when I say I worked all day on this and did not do an ounce of revision today because I wanted to get this done. I’ve been writing this series, and this ending in particular, for so long and have been so nervous about getting this perfect. So please enjoy~

(quite a few ppl also couldn’t be tagged from the taglist and it’s 3am so i honestly dk how to fix it ;-;)

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You used to think heartbreak was for the weak, after all you can only hurt as much as you let yourself be hurt. So... maybe you are weak. Because that ever-constricting ache in your chest has not diminished even a bit since that day you left him.

Four weeks. Not a word to each other.

It’s a hollowing feeling - someone you’ve had in your life every day for the past few years, a constant companion, suddenly completely absent in a blink of an eye. You don’t think you could put it into words even if you tried how this affected you. Life feels so foreign, your personality dulls.

The anger you felt for him dissipated quicker than you’d anticipated, but the anger at yourself only grew. No matter how you look at it now, you can only see it as being your fault.

But the decision to part ways was for the best, you have to keep reminding yourself. You shouldn’t be around each other anymore.

Whenever you see him around campus, you spin around and speed off the other way, hoping that he doesn’t see you too. Okay, you are weak, okay. But your heart twists at the sign of him, not just squeezes but twists into thorned knots. It’s the sort of pain that takes from you, makes you a different person unrecognisable to yourself.

You had moved in with Lotta. When she asked you what happened, all you had said was that you two had a massive fight and fell out. She knew better than to prod further from the telltale signs that you were close to tears from a simple question: the trembling throat, pursed lips, uncharacteristically quiet voice. And you were grateful because you knew you couldn’t afford to be asked about him without breaking.

The bed feels awfully cold in the nights of early February. And every night, you stare at his name on the screen of your phone, contemplating. One tap and you can hear his voice. One tap and your longing could be absolved. You always almost give in to this overpowering urge itching within your fingers. But you wouldn’t even know what to say to him.

Hi. How are you. I miss you like crazy and I think about you everyday but I know we should keep our distance but I’m just so sorry for everything.

You liked to think that maybe this break is just temporary, you both need space from each other because the toxicity built up so quickly that neither of you could think or breathe. But the longer time is spent away from him, the more you convince yourself that it wasn’t meant to be. It was never going to work; you knew this from the start but had been too optimistic.

And the mistakes you both made… You can’t forget them and the scars you’ve left on each other; you don’t think he’d be able to forgive you, not any time soon anyway.

You wonder if he’s doing the same, if he too is agonising over every wrong step he took to lead you two to this state, or if he’s cursing you for destroying everything. For his sake, you hope he’s moving on. Because that, for some reason, feels so much better than knowing that he’s crying over you.

The strange thing is that you had been the one to break things off. The look of lostness in his red-rimmed eyes laced with an unmissable reluctance will always be an enigma to you. Because he was furious, distraught. So why was he shocked by your ending? How was he not done with you?

That day you left, he wordlessly stood next to you as you packed your things. When you handed him his grey hoodie, the one you had gradually claimed as your own under mutual tacit agreement over your months together, it had truly felt like the end.

“Are... Are you sure? I don’t mind if you keep it.” He had said, voice raw from the arguing but also the tears he was fighting back.

You couldn’t look at him, you knew you would fall apart if you did. “I think it’s best if you take it back.” Why did he want you to keep it anyway?

Something was missing in both your voices when you spoke to each other, reflective of the heart-shaped void you had carved into the other. Everytime you think back to that moment, you want to kick yourself. You could have at least kept the hoodie - that way you could at least have a piece of him to cling onto in your lonely desperate nights.

Because now you have nothing. Nothing of his in your life, no reminder at all that he ever existed with you except the memories embedded so deeply in your heart that it hurts.

No one ever mentions him to you; you think they got the hint from Lotta not to. He’s a ghost.

Haunting you with his heartbroken eyes that shattered at the sight of Jimin. You’ll never forget that.

Sometimes, you’ll just be having dinner with her, and you’ll be crushed with this suffocating wave of missing him. It knocks the breath out of you. Because you can momentarily forget that it’s over, and mistaken Lotta as him. So when you look up and realise that it isn’t him, he’s not here, it’s as if someone is digging their nails into your scabbing wound and releasing the blood of your heartache once more.

And Lotta would look up and ask you, “What? Is the rice overcooked?” And you would want to cry because he would always overcook the rice.

And sometimes, you would just want to blurt it all out to her, right then and there. Tell her everything that had happened with you and him, because - god - keeping it inside is exhausting. But the words get trapped at your throat, unable to be enunciated. Which is just your forte, isn’t it? Not being able to say how you feel...

You are a competitive person, that has never been a secret. You are used to winning at everything you wish to win at, it is in your nature.

So losing Taehyung has been the biggest loss of your life. It had been a gamble from the start, whether it would work or not. There were so many signs pointing in the direction of yes, this is going to work, you love each other so much. Because still to this day, you believe that you are soulmates, and you were one step, three words, away from a happy ending. But then, caught up in this game you played, you hadn’t realised that he had been yours from the very start if you had only just accepted him. And that was your downfall: your failure to see his love for you in the form of his actions, rather than the words of validation you were seeking.

And thus, you had lost your lover, your best friend, your other half, completely of your own doing.

The realisation haunts you every night.

.

It’s Galentine’s Day. In this household, you don’t say the V word.

Lotta has booked a weekend trip to celebrate your mutual [forever alone] relationship status. Some strawberry farm in the countryside for friends to pick berries and make jam and bond over their mutual loneliness. Apparently that’s a thing nowadays.

It would have excited you before, a trip like this. The idea sounds much like a sweet attempt from her to cheer you up, (you haven’t been trying to hide how down you’ve been), so as much as you wanted to just wallow on this shitty holiday, you agreed to go with her.

And to be honest, this might be exactly what you need. A weekend away with your best friend away from the city could heal you. Best friend? Should you call her that? You’re not sure because that title has always referred to someone else previously, someone you shouldn’t be thinking about.

To your credit, you’ve been doing better. You think about him less and less each day; you stopped crying after the first week. You’ve always been a progressor with astounding growth. It’s not to say that you’re doing fine - that would be a reach - because small things such as a cup of hot chocolate would still remind you of him and the string of memories that come with it. But you think your heart is finally slowly starting to stitch itself back together.

Galentine’s weekend just so happened to fall on the weekend of Lotta’s Geophysics trip to Barcelona, as inconvenient as it is. But, rather than letting this disrupt her plans, Lotta had been adamant about going.

“My flight lands at 7am. That’s two hours before we are supposed to meet and depart from the coach station. That’s plenty of time.” She had waved away your concern when this topic of discussion came up last week.

“You never know with flight timings. We could just blow it off and have just as nice of a weekend at home watching movies.” Strawberry picking sounds great for the soul, but so does Netflix and ice cream. “We could have a Saw marathon like we’ve been wanting to.”

“Saw marathon on Valentine’s day?” Lotta scoffed at your suggestion

You blinked. “What’s wrong with that? We love scary films, it’s our thing.”

“It doesn’t matter, I’ve already paid for the trip and it’s non-refundable.”

“I’ll subsidise the cost, there’s no point forcing this trip if it won’t work with your schedule. You haven’t even let me pay you back for my half of the trip yet.” Lotta is like that with money, overly generous when completely unasked for. If you don’t mention paying her back, she would never have asked you to.

“It’s my treat to you, shut up. Just trust me, Y/N, I’ll make it to the coach on time, I always make it on time.” She shook you by the shoulders. “We’ll make our separate ways to the meeting point Saturday morning and everything else will go smoothly. There’s no reason to cancel the trip. Plus, V day is on Sunday, so do you really want to see all those shitty ass rom-com Netflix suggestions or would you rather be enjoying the great outdoors? Trust, we need a break in the countryside. It’s going to be an amazing weekend, you’ll thank me later.”

Right now, as you make a final check through your lightly-packed bag before you leave the house, you find yourself agreeing. You do need the fresh naturally strawberry-scented air to expel all these negativity from you. You want to feel yourself again, be happy and loud and excitable.

Collecting for your trip ticket that Lotta had left on your desk before she went to Barcelona, you decide right now that: yes, this will be an amazing weekend. Law of attraction and power of manifestation. Lotta’s flight will be punctual and you will make some fond memories together.

You’ll be okay.

You arrive at the meeting spot twenty minutes early because you are known to be prone to tardiness. The tour guide welcomes you keenly. He is a young, twenty-something you reckon, tall man, graced with dimples and honey skin. You think you would find him attractive in different circumstances, but you haven’t gotten to the stage of feeling attraction for anyone else yet.

“Your ticket with the barcode, miss?” His smile is charming, you guess. It’s more an observation than an enticing quality. You hand it over to him wordlessly and watch him scan the creased piece of paper. “Great, that’s perfect. And your partner?”

“Partner?” You frown, but realise what he means. This is a Galentine’s programme, of course he expects you not to be alone. “Oh, she should be coming, we came separately because she’s just getting off a flight right now.”

“Oh! That’s very sweet of her to rush back to spend this weekend with you.” The endearment in his smile heightens.

“Yeah… She’s the best.” There’s no particular reason for your awkwardness. You’ve always been a social butterfly, yet lately, you’re keeping more to yourself, avoiding unnecessary conversations because your mind is always too preoccupied.

“I am Jae, by the way, and I’ll be your guide for the weekend. I hope you have a wonderful time with us this Valentine's day. Hop on board.” Giving him a polite nod, you climb onto the empty bus, noting the swirly hearts beside the large red words ‘STRAWBERRY LOVE’ on the side of the big white vehicle. Kind of tacky, but the idea of this programme is kind of cute so you guess it’s suiting. After assessing row after row, you plop down at a window seat you deem worthy and settle your bag on the seat beside you, head leaning on the glass as you await your partner.

Dear partner, please don’t be late, you text her.

Soon, other participants of this trip start arriving, filing a crooked queue in front of the tour guide to register. You don’t pay much attention to them except to examine for Lotta’s face. The coach is set to leave at 9:00 on the dot in order to arrive at the farm at noon, it is now 8:56 and Lotta is still not here. You don’t want to lose faith in manifestation magic, but worry is settling in. If it comes down to it, you will beg Jae to wait for you. With your texts unread, you decide to phone her.

Come on… Just let this one weekend go smoothly for you.

Nervously playing with the ends of your hair, you exhale in relief when she picks up. “Oh thank god, Lotta. Where are you? The coach is leaving in like two minutes. You’ve landed right? I’m not sure if I can convince the people to wait for you that long but worse comes to worse, I could ask for the address of the farm and you can commute there yourself. ” A silence replies after your slur of panicked words. “Hello? Dude, hurry.”

“Wait, so he’s not there yet?” She asks hesitantly.

“Who? The tour guide? No, he’s here. Where are you?” Just then you hear a thunder of running footsteps. Expectantly, you look out the bus window for your friend’s arrival, only to find…

“Wait, Lotta… What the fuck did you do?” Something drops in your stomach.

“Look Y/N, don’t be mad. This is for your own good, you need this.” You can practically hear her stealthy smile through the phone.

An icy chill strikes down your spine. You simply cannot believe what you are seeing out the window. She-

“Lotta…”

“Trust me, okay? You have been so fucking depressed the past month. You need to fix this problem, please. I hate seeing you like this, so if not for yourself, then do it for me.” There’s some guilt in her tone, you’ll give her that. But you are in a state of utter disbelief, borderline shell-shocked, the groves of your brain tangled in itself.

“Lotta, where are you? Are you even fucking coming?” Absolute mortification fills your chest to the brim at your gradual realisation of her ploy.

This can’t be happening.

“I promise, this is all for your own good. Please have a great weekend. I love you. Bye!” And with that she hangs up, leaving you wide-eyed, jaw-dropped, staring out the window...

At a panting, slightly sweat-beaded Taehyung handing his crumpled ticket to Jae.

“Made it just in time, mate.” You can just about make out Jae’s words from the shape of his mouth as he greets Taehyung and proceeds to recite his ‘I’m your tour guide for the trip’ speech. Taehyung nods interestedly, reciprocating with that sheepish smile of his as he scratches the back of his bedhead.

What did your best friend do? Did she just… set you up…? As you hear his loud unmissable steps stomping up onto the coach, you know you’re doomed. It’s over for you. You might as well fling yourself off a cliff.

Looking around the bus, you realise that it of course is completely full except for the seat beside you.

The power of manifestation is fucking bullshit. You’re stuck with this bad luck for the rest of your life.

And this weekend, you’re going to die.

You see him as a blur at the start of the aisleway, a mere figure in swatches of peach and brown and black. You hear pounding, a booming pulse in your ear.

It’s Taehyung. Taehyung. Your, but also not your, Taehyung.

Each step he takes approaching the only available seat he sees, you shrink lower in yours and keep your eyes pressed shut, but for what reason you’re not entirely sure. There’s no hiding now.

Your confrontation is inevitable, a few steps away. Then he finally sees you.

“Y-Y/N?”

Your heart soars to your throat at the sound of his voice as everything around you vanishes. This can’t be real.

Slowly, you turn up to face him. When your eyes meet, it’s like someone has driven a sharp object into your chest and twisted. His face is exactly how you remember, but also not quite. His big brown eyes are wide with surprise in a pitiful expression of bewilderment. His sleep rumpled hair, grown out to almost cover his eyes, yet still very much permed in the style you loved. His lips are jutting out, slightly parted in confusion at your unexpected presence that reminds you of how it felt to kiss him.

And the look of disgust that you had expected - absent.

You want to throw your arms around him. There is always a warmth emitting from Taehyung - the kind of warmth you feel when you enter your house on a snow ridden day and the gust of heat accompanied by the smell of home simply swallows you like a wave. But there is also something different, unfamiliar almost, about him. He is rougher round the edges, hints of facial hair dotted below his nose, dressed in slacks that he only usually wore strictly as pyjamas and never to go outside in.

As your eyes fall to the rest of him, you notice his fists tighten around the straps of his backpack, the balls of his knuckles whitening.

“Taehyung-” Saying his name feels like a release. A rush of satisfaction at the way the syllables roll off your tongue so naturally, then a flood of emotion that comes with all the memories his name invokes.

Then you’re at a loss for words again. You are so utterly unprepared for this situation because you didn’t think you would meet him again so soon, not until you’ve moved on. You’re not ready to face him.

What do you say? How are you meant to act around him?

He looks equally as lost, though you read him easily. There’s a flash of hurt in his eyes, the same that you’re sure you had. But it dissolves much quicker with him, almost into relief and content as if he’s glad to see you.

You know from the slight downward angle his brows are pointing that he has definitely missed you. Perhaps in a completely different way from you missing him, but he’s missed you.

“If I could just have everybody's attention!” Jae’s voice booms from the speaker, startling every passenger. “Young man over there, please be seated.” You quickly snatch your bag into your lap to let Taehyung sit next to you. The seats aren’t the most spacious; despite pressing your side against the window as much as you can, Taehyung’s shoulder comes brushing past yours as he settles into his own seat. Your heart flutters. “As all our participants are now present, our ride will begin immediately. The duration of the ride will be three hours, but a pitstop will be made at around halfway for a quick snack or toilet break. Please ensure all seatbelts are fastened during the entirety of our journey...” He drones on.

Three hours, you bristle. Everything is happening all at once and your mind can’t catch up. You’re going to be stuck on this coach for three hours next to Taehyung. No, worse. You’re stuck with Taehyung for this whole weekend in a strawberry farm.

Glancing over, his lips are pressed into a thin line, no doubt with the same chaotic thoughts racing through his mind. There isn’t much leg room, and though his thighs are purposely clamped together to avoid touching you, you know he can’t keep them clamped this tightly for three hours without cramping. Your legs are going to touch at some point.

God, why are you even losing your mind over something so juvenile? You’ve been reduced to a pre-teen girl so easily flustered by the thought of touching thighs amidst this turn of events.

Everything is gonna be okay, you tell yourself. This is gonna be fine. You don’t have to speak to each other. Just put in your earphones and fall asleep against the window.

But you have so many questions, for Lotta, for Taehyung. Did she plan this? How did she know that he’d be here? Hell, did he know you’d be here? No, there’s no way. The shock on his face was genuine.

He stares ahead, though visibly extremely puzzled. You suppress the urge to glance over at him every second to check that it’s really him.

“Thank you everyone for joining us so promptly. As you already know, I am Jae and I will be the guide to your trip to our beautiful strawberry farm over this Valentine’s weekend.” You pause. Right, this is a Valentine’s weekend trip, you had momentarily forgotten. And you’re stuck with Taehyung here. Two days, two nights. You’re not sure if you could withstand his presence for that long. Will you ignore each other for the entirety of this trip? You would be fine with that, and in all honesty, you think you might prefer it over speaking to him because that would only sprinkle salt on your wound.

A sharp pain in your palm reminds you that you’ve been gripping onto the programme leaflet that was handed to you. You smooth out the creases of the paper and flip it open to skim through what you have to tackle ahead of you.

Day 1: Go strawberry picking with your partner at our scenic farm in the lovely spring weather while the sun is out. A heavenly spa awaits you afterwards to wind down and indulge together. For an amorous evening, go stargazing under our cloudless skies...

Alarm bells start ringing immediately, from the cursive font of the strangely-worded phrases, to the shades of reds and pinks of the background. You skim further down the page, the kernel of anxiety growing exponentially at your throat.

Day 2: Make delicious strawberry jam and learn our signature recipe for a splendid strawberry tart. When dusk falls, enjoy a romantic candlelit dinner with your partner amidst the symphonies of our string quartet.

Fuck. Wait, what the fuck.

You flip back to the front page.

Strawberry Love: The Perfect Couple’s Romantic Getaway Valentine’s Weekend

Strawberry… Love…

“What the fucking shit?” You can’t help but cry out loud. Lotta- She-

The passengers of the bus all turn to shoot you at look of concern at your outburst, Taehyung included. His eyes dart around the features of your face to search for an answer. “What’s wrong?”

What’s wrong… What’s wrong…? What isn’t wrong at this point?

You feel defeated, absolutely fucking defeated that you don’t even have it in your to be shocked or angry. There is no way you can ignore him for the whole weekend when the programme of your trip - a couple’s Valentine’s trip - obligates you to spend time with him. The thought of making stupid little strawberry tarts with Taehyung… Your blood can’t even boil, you’re just fucking speechless.

Lotta, that conniving genius that is your best friend. How did she manage to pull this all off? Galentine’s trip your fucking ass. She tricked you into a romantic holiday with Taehyung, fucking hell...

But that means - she knows. The mortification hammers into your stomach. There’s no reason for her to do this other than for the purpose of getting you two to make up. Lotta fucking knew about you and Taehyung.

How? For how long? And why does she think that this will benefit you in any way? You and Taehyung are over and you were slowly (fine, excruciatingly slowly) moving on. Until now.

Letting out a huff of your frustration, you turn to look at Taehyung, properly look him in the eye for the first time. You can’t stop your chest from constricting. He regards you with that confused expression of his, eyes holding your glare but barely just, bashful from your sudden undivided attention channeled towards him. “I need to know what you’re doing here first.” It comes out harsher than you mean for it to, but it stems from your desperation to stay inert while your emotional sanity is precariously threatened right now.

“Me? I… Well, Lotta told me that she had a ticket for this weekend-trip to a strawberry farm type thing that she couldn’t go to anymore, so she asked if I wanted to go in her place because she knows that I like strawberries.” He furrows his brows. “Okay, that sounds really stupid out loud but I swear I didn’t know that you were gonna be here.” He throws his hands up, nothing but honesty flooding his chocolate eyes.

But of course, Taehyung doesn’t lie, you are sure from the times you’ve witnessed him not being able to muster up an excuse to get rid of an annoying relative on the phone. What’s more convincing of his truth is that he would not be the most difficult person to fall victim to Lotta’s scheme - drizzle in mentions of food and he is completely your pawn. You almost feel bad for this unsuspecting fool; he still has no idea.

But Lotta, that sly bitch… You are going to wrangle her when you get back.

“Taehyung… She lied to you.” You sigh, watching his features slowly contort in deeper confusion.

“Wait what? So we’re not going to a strawberry farm?” He sits up in alarm, looking around the bus as if that would grant him any insight whatsoever. You almost laugh at his naivety because as much as you want to uphold your cold exterior, something about him, his ever present innocent boyishness maybe, never fails to penetrate through to you.

“No, that’s not what I meant. She lied to me too; she told me that this would be a girl’s trip because we’re both single and bitter for Valentine’s. Get it? It was just a setup. For you and me.”  As the clockwork finally turns as he processes your words, a visibly distressed grimace forms. “Look at the programme, Taehyung, it freaking says: Strawberry Love: The Perfect Couple’s Romantic Getaway Valentine’s Weekend!”

As those words resonate from your mouth and the realisation finally dawns on him, dread settles itself in the pit of your stomach, cold, dry and coarse. Saying it aloud somehow finalises it - this is actually happening, you’re going to have to spend this weekend with the one person you’d least like to be stranded with right now.

“Lotta… But why would she…?” Deep red roses effloresce across the apples of his cheeks, and you feel yourself unconsciously mirroring his reaction as your mind flashes back to the planned activities of this tour. You’ll be made to pick berries and bake pastries together. And the romantic candlelit dinner… You can’t even finish that thought. Because even now, you find your eyes roaming every inch of his face, trying to memorise his details because it’s been so long.

This isn’t healthy for your heart. You were on a path of recovery, a path of forgetting him and forgiving yourself, and now you’ve been flung back to square one.

The bus jolts. His leg lightly knocks into yours and both your attentions momentarily divert to the touch, glaring at where the thick grey material of his joggers meets the thin cotton of your trousers. A long second passes before Taehyung lifts it away from you.

“I don’t know why she’d do this. All I told her was that we had a massive falling out.” You mutter. Except you do know, you know her very well. This was no mistake, but the result of careful planning. She knew exactly what she was doing.

“So maybe she’s trying to get us to reconcile?”

As soon as those words come out, you both seem to freeze in your spots, blinking in bewilderment at the slightest mention of the elephant in the room. It might be wishful thinking but you hear a sliver of hope in his question, and you think he hears how it came out too.

Reconcile.

Could the two of you reconcile after everything you put each other through in your last few days together? The thought tears you apart emotionally. Of course you want to reconcile, of course you want to be with him. But haven’t you proven enough that what you had didn’t work? Afterall, everything you had together came crumbling down at the smallest hitch in your path. What is there to reconcile but a dysfunctional relationship?

And how could either of you forget the torment you endured? The noises of Taehyung with another woman through the thin walls, your betrayal of his heart when you mistakenly slept with Jimin.

Reconciliation doesn’t seem possible in the foreseeable future.

“N-not reconcile in that way, I mean, like, for us to make up.” Taehyung stammers, hand waving about in his nervous state. “I mean- no, not make up, but like… make… peace. Yeah, make peace. Sorry.” He winces timorously at his spectacular fumble of words. It’s surprising how nervous and timid he is acting. He should be brutish to you, savage and hostile. But he isn’t.

“Yeah, I got what you mean… Don’t worry.” You can’t stop the corners of your lips from turning up, just a fraction. “But yeah, I think she wants us to make peace.” You conveniently do not bring up how you’re certain that she knows about your history and that this holiday she booked for you and Taehyung is most definitely for the purpose of reconciliation in that way.

“Right.” His bottom lip pinched between his teeth in a manner that makes it feel as though it’s a sight you shouldn’t be looking at, Taehyung’s attention shifts down to avoid your eye. Though, there’s a clear glimmer of expectation as he asks, “So… do you want to talk it out?”

The bus bounces, violently this time, as it drives over what must be a pebble. It rattles your thoughts so physically that you have to grip onto your trousers for support.

This is the deciding moment. Now is when you can choose how you go about this which will determine the rest of your weekend together.

Do you want to talk it out?

The painful memory of the last time you had tried to “talk it out” rakes its claws down your back. All the yelling, the hurtful accusations hurled both ways, the reluctance to accept blame… It haunts you so much so that your voices still ring in your mind, echoes embedding the misery you had both felt and inflicted deep in your bones.

The three stages of your fight painted clairvoyantly in your mind.

One: The Hurting Each Other.

You fuck guys without learning their names.

Two: The Guilt-Tripping.

I didn’t sleep with her. I couldn’t even kiss her for more than a minute on her bed because it felt so wrong it made me fucking sick. I stayed on her couch and thought about you all fucking night. Happy?

Three: The Falling Apart

I… I thought it was clear how I felt…

Always replaying in a loop.

“I’m not sure what there is to talk out.” You say, hating how callous you sound but knowing that it’s a necessary evil to convey your intent. That was in the past. Taehyung is your past. Talking about it would only drag you back into that perpetual cycle and there’s not much left in you to afford that. You look out the window at the open plains of grassland to avoid the hurt you know he can’t hide on his face. “I think it’s better if we keep our distance as much as possible and not make it difficult for ourselves.”

“Okay.” You hear him reply, but only a quiet mumble. From the faint reflection of the window, you see him tighten his jaw and fit his Airpods into his ears. The monster that is your guilt and bitterness sinking its fangs into your throat.

It’s better this way.

And so the bus continues to speed off to the countryside, driving you further and further from civilization and your chance of escape from this doomed weekend with the boy you’re trying to stop loving.

.

You wake up to someone gently shaking your shoulders. “Miss…” You jolt upright.

The first thing that elucidates in your sleep-fogged vision is your tour guide’s kind face smiling down at you. The second, when you come to your senses, is that you are leaning against Taehyung’s frame, his shoulders much harder than you remember them to be. The boy himself is fast asleep beside you, arm loosely linked with yours because you know he has a habit of holding things in his sleep. You hastily pull away.

“We’ve arrived, Miss.” Jae says politely, that humoured glow in his pupils eliciting a bashful blush from you.

“Oh right.” You look around to find the coach empty except for the three of you. “That’s embarrassing, I’m sorry.” The last thing you remember was the angry texts you spammed Lotta with before the songs in your playlist all blurred into one.

“No worries. Forgive me, I’m still learning names.” The heat of the sun is seeping through the glass of the windowpane, licking tenderly at your skin to rouse you awake. “I’ve tried to wake your partner, but it seems...”

“I’m Y/N. And don’t worry, he’s impossible to wake up.” You pause. There is a chance for you to rectify his misconception that you and Taehyung are a couple, except it would probably require some explaining or white-lying and now is not a great time if you’re holding up the whole group. “I’ll do it.”

Despite the conversation being had right over him, Taehyung shows no sign of his slumber being disturbed. His head is tipped back, mouth hanging open with a small dribble of drool beading at the corner of his mouth. Still the same deep-sleeping idiot.

“Oi.” You nudge his ribcage, scaring Jae with your coarseness. “Wake up, Taehyung.”

Nothing but heavy breathing.

“Dude, we’re here.” You grab his face between your harsh fingers and begin shaking vigorously.

Not even a stir. You remember how you used to like to joke that Taehyung could sleep through a burglary, and just to prove your point, you woke up in the middle of the night one time and screamed at the top of your lungs. He did not even move a toe.

“Uh-” There is a hint of worry in Jae’s face; perhaps he thinks that Taehyung has a health condition.

“It’s okay, I’ve got the trick.” This time, you pinch his nose with considerable force and clamp your palm over his mouth, ignoring the smoothness of his skin under your touch and the feeling of his lips skimming your palm. You glance up to find Jae’s eyes almost bulging out of their sockets, swaying uneasily at your method to wake him. “Don’t worry, it works every time.”

But true to your word, in a few seconds, Taehyung is sputtering for breath, eyes flying open in befuddlement, scrambling to sit up. You let go of his nose and smile at your tour guide only to find him petrified.

“What?” In disarray, Taehyung wipes at the corner of his mouth and pats his hair back down from its messy temperment. His heavy body no longer slumped against yours, you feel a weight lifted off your chest, though the fact that you had fallen asleep on each other plays at your mind, lingering to taunt you.

“We’ve arrived.” Jae winces.

You stare at the patterned seats of the coach, trying not to pay attention to Taehyung’s embarrassed apology and explanation on what a deep sleeper he is. You’re not going to think about Taehyung and sleeping. Mindlessly, you trail behind the banter men off the vehicle. You’re not going to think about how good it feels to sleep beside him.

The sun greeting you when you step foot onto ground instantly refreshes your mood, banishing away those thoughts that were slipping through the cracks. There’s something so healing about the air of the countryside, fresh and unpolluted and full of the pleasant crisp scent that one would associate with green and yellow. Staring back at you is a seemingly endless field of bushes dotted with red, the sweet berry smell already perfusing into your nose.

You ignore the crunch of gravel sounding from Taehyung’s steps not far from you and proceed to join the waiting crowd, their phones out to capture the stunning scenery.

As everyone gathers, it’s difficult to concentrate on Jae’s briefing of the weekend planned ahead, starting with an introduction to the farm which you frankly do not care to learn about. You try not to glance over at Taehyung at the corner of your eye, at how his hair is still sticking out awkwardly in the back, his eyes slightly swollen from sleep. You try not to notice his hesitancy, standing a distance from you despite everyone else standing in their couples.

It’s like a buzzing in the back of your mind, a constant tug at your consciousness, not allowing you to relax as much as you want to in this serene environment. You want to stop thinking about him but you can’t.

“In February, the weather is set to be nice and warm during the day and slightly chilly in the evenings, so I do hope that you have packed sufficiently as stated in the email. Now, if you look to your left...” Jae’s monologue drones on like white noise, because all you can focus on is not focusing on Taehyung.

Lotta has not replied to your hounding messages with anything of use, no answers to your plethora of questions. Just relax. Stop making such a big deal out of it, grow up and make up with him because you clearly aren’t over him. You wanted to tell her that things are not that simple, she doesn’t know how badly you both fucked up. Yet, you know her response would only be some pretentiously worded reply full of the condescending wisdom it always contains when she’s telling you off.

You’ll admit it, as stubborn as you are, Lotta’s advice is right 9 times out of 10. She was right when she said you shouldn’t have gone with Taehyung to Mykonos within two weeks of knowing him because he could have been a killer or psychopath. She was right when she pointed out that you act like Taehyung annoys the living shit out of you but you secretly care deeply for him.

But she’s definitely not right this time, you are adamant about it. It would be a miracle if you and Taehyung could even be friends within the next six months, let alone… And if anything were to happen, setting you two up on a romantic holiday together is certainly the wrong way to go about it. It feels so inorganic, like you’re forced to spend time with each other.

Out of habit, you steal a glance at him. It’s not a surprise to find him not paying an ounce of attention to Jae either. Taehyung is staring off into the strawberry field, face angled away from you such that the sunlight is hitting his skin in all the right places to glaze a golden aura over him.

It’s strange to see such a permanent sadness in his eyes, a melancholic nostalgia. You hate yourself - you did this to him, you broke him. Does he hate you? Resent you? You think you’d rather he did.

Soon, the group of you are whisked away down a pebbly path to a rustic looking hotel beside the farm where you will all stay in. It’s not the old run-down type of rustic, but more the luxurious kind that very evidently serves an aesthetic purpose. And that’s when you begin to notice, this “farm” is not really a farm at all, but more a boujee farm-themed resort. This trip could certainly not have been cheap. As much as you are here against your will, you can’t help but feel immense gratitude to Lotta for her willingness to spend such money on you.

You are stopped at a grand lobby, the style of which resembling a small piazza of Southern Italy - warm neutral-toned Roman concrete walls with a green flourish of vines and bushes. It’s absolutely stunning, a surreal setting that you only see in movies. It’s impossible not to feel the air of romance circulating this architecture. You glance over to find him, stood an awkwardly respectful distance away from you, gaping around at the interior of the building in awe. He is a sucker for art, especially architecture. You almost wish you were friends again only to hear him gush about the beauty of this place.

When Jae begins to hand out room keys, it suddenly occurs to you, perhaps the worst aspect of your predicament this weekend - you are sharing a room with Taehyung.

You are sharing a…

Heart sinking, you look over again to see if the same thought has dawned on him. It has. His eyes are fixed on Jae in an eerily blank way, his jaw tense, a single bead of sweat trickling down the side of his forehead which you will excuse as the heat.

When Jae approaches you, Taehyung automatically joins your side in a dazed worry. Eye contact made was brief, not enough for you two to communicate whether or not you tell Jae that this was all a mistake and you would much rather be apart.

“Here you go, Y/N.” Your guide flashes you that charming grin of his as he waves your keycards before you. Instinctively, you receive it in your palm. “You guys have got the deluxe suite - wonderful choice.”

“We-” You begin, but he doesn’t seem to take notice. You’re starting to notice that he perhaps likes the sound of his own voice a bit too much.

“As I said, strawberry-picking will start at half past so that gives you a bit of time to drop off your luggage and freshen up after the long ride.” He continues. This will probably be the only chance you get to tell him that you and Taehyung aren’t a couple before it becomes too late, and you’re going to miss this opportunity because of another one of his monologues. The desperate itch in your chest grows an uncomfortable size. “Please meet here at the reception on time. And as for your luggage - oh, I see you two are lightly-packed. Low maintenance, my favourite type of people. In that case, your room is on the ground floor, if you follow that lovely couple down that corridor over there.”

And just like that, he smiles, retracts his extended arm pointing towards the direction of your room and turns to guide another couple.

“Wai-” You call after him weakly, but he has once again launched into the same speech he’d recited to you to a new audience.

And there goes your chance of rectifying this weekend.

You stand there for a good minute, mind trying to piece together how, just how, you will manage to survive this weekend. Taehyung is quiet beside you, equally as baffled at what to do.

“Should we head to our room then…” He mutters after too long a moment of unmoving stature. “I kinda want to change into some lighter clothes and we don’t have that long.”

You nod without looking at him. Because you can’t stand looking at his face right now, the face that you’ll be stuck with for these two days, the face that you love.

Silence between you now grows more familiar as you walk wordlessly to your room, the round corner of the plastic keycard digging hard into your palm. It’s painfully awkward. Your echoing steps provide the only stable rhythm against the storm between you.

Beep. The door opens at your will with a swipe of the card.

You weren’t prepared for what exactly the deluxe room entails. Its size could easily be a tiny studio apartment: a small seating area consisting of a pearly white sofa and a glass coffee table so delicately built that you would not trust yourself near; a mini-kitchen on the left side of the room accompanied by a generously stocked beverage bar; a king-sized bed in the far right wine-red in colour and excessively buried in frivolous cushions. But the belle of the ball is really the glass panelled-wall at the back of the room that you face as you enter, spanning from ceiling to floor, opening up to the patio hand-plucked out of your dreams. Rose bushes, circular beige woven garden daybed, and not to mention the hot tub.

You are completely in awe. Your mind instantly flashes to Mykonos. This luxury is the furthest from a farm experience whatsoever. It really explains how every couple on this trip looks like the child of a wealthy politician with their finely manicured hands and sickly cologne.

“Woah.” An octave deeper than usual, Taehyung expresses his wonder as he surveys the extravagance that is your room. “This… How much must this have cost?”

“I have no idea.” You whisper, still in your state of near speechlessness while your feet take you to the glass wall.

This is a place of romantic films, a place for honeymoons. Everything is in a rose-gold tint, glistening almost mockingly under the soft February sun. Why are you here? You almost hear the slabs of sandstone ask.

Behind you, you hear him huff out the marvel that he is submerged in. His backpack slides off his shoulder, swung carelessly towards the loveseat. And plop he goes, starfished onto the bed.

Then the fear returns, reclaims its usual residence in your throat. As you pry your eyes away from the opulence of the veranda to look at Taehyung, his head lifts up at the same moment. The short-lived mist that clouded over your reality finally disperses.

You blink again at his sprawled out limbs. He blinks back.

It is as if a switch has flipped, the speed at which he jumps back onto his two feet, fright jarring his mouth agape. “I’llsleeponthesofa.” The slur of his words are unintelligible to your ears, but his display of alarm is almost comical, threatening a smile from the corners of your lips at the hysteria of your situation despite the same alarm you are experiencing.

“What?”

“I’ll sleep on the sofa.” His voice is firmer the second time he says it, tilting his chin up as if to reassure you of his confidence.

“It’s okay, I’ll sleep on the sofa.” You sigh because you know how much Taehyung is bursting to sleep in a king-sized bed. It was his first time in Mykonos, and you had not heard the end of how it was the best sleep he’s had in his lifetime. So imagine him now.

He bristles, a genuine look of offence fleets. “Of course not, I can’t allow that.”

“Why not?” Your tone with him is foreign, lacking the playfulness it once had - just an aloof callousness.

“‘Coz! I’m not gonna let you take the couch while I sleep on this massive bed.” He gestures at the couch for emphasis, letting his arm dangle afterwards. He is less different with you than you are with him, you note.

“You just answered my question with the very statement I was questioning you on.” You cross your arms and lean against the glass, allowing the warmth to bask through your shirt.

Taehyung frowns and mirrors your action, the muscle of his bicep flexing more than usual from the agitation in his motion. “‘Coz you’re a light sleeper. Just stop being stubborn and take the bed.”

You’re not quite sure why, of all things, ‘you’re a light sleeper’ is what moves you. The consideration he still holds for you inhibits any protest you wish to sound.

He cares about you, he clearly still does. Just like how you would willingly give up the bed for him.

God, you don’t want to fucking be here. You wish it didn’t have to be so painful, every single little interaction between you just reminding you again and again of how much you loved and hurt each other.

Taehyung takes your silence as compliance and begins to unpack, ruffling through his bag for a change of cooler clothes with his shoulders tense in discomfort. You know what the mature person in you should say: we can just share the bed. But you can’t think of a single reason why that would be a good idea.

With this Valentine’s trip completely planned for you two, it feels like the universe presenting you with an undeniable temptation. Everything around you is telling you to just get back with him, to give in to your inhibitions and fall back into him. You’ve got the champagne in the cooler, hot tub in the patio, rose petalled bed all laid out in front of you at your disposal. An inner voice chanting make up, make up, make up. Because what’s stopping you?

What’s stopping you is that look on his face when he saw Jimin fixing the back of his shoe beside you as you were walking him out. What’s stopping you is the sound of another girl moaning his name right down the hall from you.

So maybe some could see it as strength for resisting the yearning, for being able to put up a front and speak to him so indifferently. But you see it as weakness, because you still cannot move on.

.

Despite the sun blazing down your back, the cool gust of spring weather eases what otherwise would have been scorching heat. Never would you anticipate that you would be spending this weekend sifting through strawberry bushes to find large red ripe summer fruit, yet here you are. You don’t even think it’s strawberry season.

You’ve never been a country girl, but the dirt feels strangely comforting under your nails. Well, comforting is perhaps not the best word to describe your state of mind right now. As much tranquility as this farm is bringing you, with Taehyung always no more than two metres away from you, you don’t think you could ever relax.

In black sports shorts, plucking his own berries on the other side of the same very row of bushes, sweat trickling along the veins of his neck… Of course your attention is scattered.

Not to mention, you keep catching his shifting eyes. You thought you ought to say something, but what exactly? The awkwardness is prominent as it is.

A heavy exhale. You find a particularly large berry, leaves curling upwards to indicate its ripeness as the strawberry expert (yes, strawberry expert) had taught you. Pluck. And off it goes into your basket.

This is definitely therapeutic. You imagine every strawberry to be your feelings for Taehyung. This one over here shall symbolise his musky scent that you fall asleep to. Pluck. This one, his stupidly attractive perm, so long that even you would tell him to trim it because it’s covering his eyes. Pluck. His eyes… Especially when he’s confused as he makes that wide-eyed puppy dog face, which is very often. Pluck.

You glance up, you can’t help it.

And he’s already looking at you. Caught red-handed, literally red-handed because his hands are somehow stained with strawberry juice. Instantly he whips his head back down at his basket that is rested by his crouching knees, though there is not much in there for him to look at.

“Stop making this weirder than it already is.” He almost jumps when you speak, clearly not expecting any sort of interaction from your end.

Slowly, he glances back up at you, dark wavy fringe swaying from the slow tilt of his head. “I- Sorry, I wasn’t- Um, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

There’s something quite breathtaking about Taehyung under the sun, the way the rays reflect off his honey-tan skin to give an effulgent finish like a marble statue of some Ancient Roman God worshipped by priests and maidens. The coat of sweat gathered at his cupid’s bow could possibly be your undoing.

You love him, despite all the strawberries symbolic of his traits that you were picking.

And you hate yourself for that. You don’t want to feel like this anymore. You’re so sick of this heavily-hearted feeling of being dragged down by your emotions all the fucking time. You want to be able to look at him and feel nothing, look at him and not be intruded by the echoes of that night.

It makes you sick, the thought of him inside someone else. Physically sick to the core.

“Well, you are. So stop looking at me.” You state coldly. You just want to forget everything and let go of him, but his presence is not letting you do so. If being a bitch is what it takes, you’ll gladly be a bitch

“No, you have dirt on your face.”

Embarrassment slams into you like a wave, wielding you to shut your eyes and take a deep breath of humiliation. It’s instant karma for being a bitch. “Oh.” You say, carelessly wiping all over your cheeks with the back of your wrist, more with the intention of hiding the rush of blood to your face than to actually clean. You keep your eyes trained on a tiny pale berry in the bush, hoping that he’ll look away from you.

But he doesn’t. “You’re smearing it.” You look up to find his lips drawn in a tight line in attempt to hide his amusement. Everything is just working out wonderfully for you, isn’t it? Yet before your mind can process it, he rises from his crouch and leans over the short bushes.

When his thumb meets your cheek, it almost sears you. As his eyes are focused on the dirt on your face he’s brushing away, yours are locked on his gaze - gentle, warm, familiar. The collar of his shirt droops low, exposing his chiseled collar bones, protruding so enticingly as if for the sole purpose to catch your attention and remind you that it was one of your favourite places to bury your nose in.

Taehyung’s touch is heartbreakingly gentle; the rest of his fingers come under the side of your jaw for support, though only fleetingly. The whole exchange is brief, the dirt brushed away as swiftly as your relationship had crumpled.

You feel it in your nose first, that overwhelming wave of sadness, and then behind your eyes. You want to cry. You want to cry as he pulls away, as he realises that he has unconsciously acted out of familiarity, as a shyness reaches his eyes when he meets your glare.

It was only a mindless sweep of his thumb on your face, yet its impact is explosive under your skin, reminiscent of a time when such a touch had different implications, elicited a different response.

You quickly blink it away - the tears, but not the heartache. That wretched feeling in your throat does not permit you to thank him, so you just stare at each other, the world around you a mere blur of blues and greens. You watch his chest rise as he sucks in for air, wondering if the same memories are now visiting, no, haunting, him.

You can’t do this because you’re not strong enough. For you whole act of indifference in front of him, your constant resisting against the urge to fall back into him, you’re still not strong enough.

But to your surprise, or perhaps even gratitude, he’s the one who picks up his basket and paces away without another word. You watch the back of his calves, the slosh of his overgrown hair, as he walks away.

.

You stare out the glass door at the patio. It’s dark, you can scarcely see a thing with the lights outside switched off. It acts as a perfect canvas for your imagination, for scenes of your past together to materialise before you.

It’s not been a full day yet, and you already feel so drained. This is impossible. You want to call Lotta to pick you up, but upon deeper consideration, you don’t think you have the heart to. This must have cost her a considerable amount of money to book. She had the full intention that this will bring you and Taehyung back together, yet it is doing everything but. You don’t want to imagine her disappointment when you return in streams of tears.

After the session of strawberry-picking, your baskets were handed over for your fruits to be washed and prepared for your baking class tomorrow. Following that is your free time, when you are left to your own devices, at liberty to roam around the farm, dine at their organic restaurant by the hotel. Taehyung had taken Jae’s recommendation of visiting the spa; you opted to stroll (sulk) about, as far away from him as possible.

It’s unhealthy, this continuous bombardment of thoughts of him. Your month’s worth of progress has reduced to ashes.

Maybe you don’t even actually have feelings for him anymore. It could purely be a deception of the closeness you’ve developed for each other that you mistaken for love. You had spent almost every single day of the past two and a half years together, under the same roof, sharing a bed towards the last few months. It’s the safety and intimacy that your brain associates him with that forbids you from moving on.

Maybe you’re actually over him romantically. But the wanting, the missing him as your best friend still lingers.

The door to your room opens abruptly. Hair damp, Taehyung strolls inside in a white bathrobe and slippers, his clothes bunched up under his arm. Tiny beads of moisture dot the sparse view of his chest you have.

“Oh, you’re here.” He says, his step faltering at your clearly unanticipated presence. Or perhaps the sight of you, staring out into the dark, completely alone in this room is just awfully strange. “I thought you’d be eating at this time.” Eyes dropping to the ground as the door shuts behind him, his movements are clearly timid and weary, an rare expression on Taehyung.

“Not that hungry.” You mutter. “How was…” You ask out of habit, but immediately catch yourself. Quick eye contact before you both look away like docile animals. It’s too late for you to take back the question now anyway. “How was the spa?” And to make it appear that you don’t really care and was just asking out of courtesy, you turn back around to face out to the patio.

Completely unnecessary and petty move, whatever.

Except you see his reflection on the glass from the illuminated room all too well. Visibly easing that you’ve looked away, he plops his clothes down at the end of the bed and trails into the bathroom to fetch a towel for his hair. “Was really nice, they give good massages. You should give it a go at some point.”

“Okay.” He gives his head a good shake before drying with the towel. It feels creepy that he doesn’t know you are watching his reflection, so your eyes drop to your feet. You wonder if his masseuse was female. Not that it matters at all.

“What time are we meant to meet them for stargazing again?” He is speaking a lot - well, relatively. It saddens you that his usual tone of endearment when he would speak to you is now missing. It’s like speaking to a stranger, but worse, a stranger who takes a stab at your heart after every word.

“At 9, so that’s in…” You raise your wrist to find your watch absent from where it usually sits on your wrist. Right, you had removed it before strawberry-picking so it doesn’t get dirty and left it on the coffee table. Just as you turn around to retrieve it, you are met with Taehyung slipping his robe off. Your eyes widen.

The fluffy material glides down his shoulders like he’s made of gold, revealing the sculpture of his upper body that you scarcely recognise because he never used to be this toned. You thank any higher power there is that he is wearing his boxers, but they do nothing to conceal the faintest V at his hips and the bulk of his thighs. He isn’t bursting with muscle, but body definitely more well-defined than you remember.

“Have you been working out?” It just slips out. You wish, as the heat floods to dizzy your mind, that you had the capability of holding your tongue for once in your life.

Taehyung hesitates, Adam’s apple bobbing at his jugular. That shy awkwardness returns when your eyes meet. “Yeah. I mean a little, here and there…” Self-consciously, he brings his arm across his chest to rub at his bicep, but the gesture only flexes the muscle he has gained.

Your knees feel slightly weak. It’s the lack of dinner, you tell yourself. It’s not just your knees that feel weak though, your heart is thumping haphazardly into arrhythmia.

“But you hate exercise.” The stability in your voice surprises you.

“Yeah I did, but Seojoon said it’d help me take my mind off… things.” Lip between his teeth, Taehyung searches around for a top. Sheepishness in the form of a soft pink tint on his round cheeks turns you soft.

‘Things’, meaning you.

When you realise you’ve been staring, you immediately look down, fingers fiddling with each other like you’re some virgin freshly exposed to the spectacle of the male body. You’re anything but yourself, and so is he. Taehyung exercising? You almost scoff.

“You don’t have to… You’ve seen me naked, you know.” Taehyung mumbles, finally locating the sweatshirt he intends to wear. When you hear him pull it over himself, you sag in relief, the immense weight that his starkness strangely bestowed on you finally alleviated.

“Yeah, but it’s different now.” Now that we’re not together anymore. Not that we were ever together.

You know he feels it too, the sting of those words. The hurt in his eyes fill you with a sort of bitter self-resentment that you cannot wrap your head around. Stop looking at me like that. Stop making me feel like a bitch. Just stop hurting me.

“Yeah, it is.” But for some reason, it stings even more when he says it. His agreement should be a triumph, yet it feels more like the acknowledgement of the broken bridges between you.

When it comes from your mouth, it’s you convincing yourself more than anything. When it comes from his, it sounds like the truth.

.

Of the many things that are slowly killing Taehyung this weekend, the painfully awkward silence is among the most unbearable. It’s the loud kind of silence that he hates where there is clearly so much to say to each other yet none of it is coming out. There’s a vast ocean between you, roaring waves engulfing any sort of message he wishes to communicate.

This has to be one of the strangest experiences of his life - being set up by your friend on a couple’s trip to a resort disguised as a strawberry farm for Valentine’s day with you - and he has experienced a lot of weird shit in his life.

To be honest, he hasn’t been doing so great the past few weeks.

All the anger and bitterness had taken two days to melt away into miserable wretchedness. Two days, that’s all it took for him to not be angry with you anymore because there was one person he was angrier at - himself.

Because Taehyung was quick to realise that losing you is miles, miles, worse than what you had done to him. It was a sudden sort of realisation, the kind that hits you in the middle of doing something. What had he done?

The way he yelled at you, the things he said. His chest always sinks at the rememberance.

You didn’t know it was Jimin, you truly didn’t. But he exploded on you nonetheless, impermeable to your explanation. That wasn’t him. That raging bellowing man wasn’t him. If only he had just calmed down and talked it through with you, maybe he wouldn’t have been sleeping alone in your bed that your scent still clung on to.

And when he thinks about how you had heard him with that girl from the club, the bar, wherever his inebriated state took him that he doesn’t even remember…

Taehyung regrets everything.

How you got to this point was so extremely stupid. He should have just confessed to you, simple and easy, no complications needed. You are a commitment-phobe, he always knew he’d have to be the one to say it first. So why didn’t he? What the fuck was holding him back?

All he had to say was to not go on that date with Junho. That’s all you wanted. Why why why didn’t he just say how he felt?

Taehyung never knew himself to be a crier before this. He had shed a tear or two when he found out about Ryujin’s cheating and his friends’ betrayal; that was a stab in the back that left him gutted from the inside. Yet still, he got by, he survived because he found you. And he had naively thought, I managed to bear through this so nothing can really be worse than this now can it?

It can, and it did.

Once it starts, it won’t stop. The tears. A great tempest swallowing him whole and dragging him under until all he could hear was his own pounding heart. It is always before bed, when he would have the time to himself to truly think and reflect. But sometimes it comes during the day as well. He will be doing something as mundane as washing his hair in the shower, and he would suddenly break down because you had left him your shampoo that you would always get annoyed at him for using.

The house just feels empty. The absence of your voice, your warmth, your lips pressed on his neck every morning before his eyes even fully opened. Gone.

Yet, every corner is etched with the memories you share, your ghost lingering by the sofa that you adore whenever he’s watching TV, or curled up beside him every night in bed. It’s impossible to forget you.

Even as Seojoon moved in to fill your vacated room and help with the rent, the place was cold. It will never be the same because nothing could ever replace you. Everything he had and cherished - swept away just like that by none other than his own mistakes.

Yes, you had hurt him a lot. At the time, that pain felt insurmountable, like the worst thing you could ever do to him. But ultimately, upon the endless nights of thinking, he has realised that what hurt him the most was not you, but losing you. Not Jimin, not Junho, but how what could have been between you two fell apart so quickly by the poor choices you both made.

“Now if you look up to your left, you might be able to see one of our February constellations, the Pictor.” Jae announces, voice full of an enthusiasm that Taehyung could only envy as he guides the tour group towards the centre of a large plain field behind the hotel where you will all be stargazing. It is a lovely, breezy, cloudless night. You are several paces ahead of Taehyung, keenly reading the constellation manual leaflet lit up by your phone; he knows just how much of an astronomy geek you are. “It consists of four stars, as shown on your Star Guide, that are actually very dim and usually not easily spotted. The name Pictor means the Painter’s easel.”

Taehyung stops. Despite the darkness, he sees your shoulders tense too.

The easel you had gifted him on his birthday sits in his closet, stowed away from being a constant reminder of how much you loved him and how much he should have held on. It just sits there, collecting dust, untouched since the day you left.

The halt in Jae’s walking indicates your arrival to the intended location. “Here we are. Let’s settle down, love birds. I’ll set up this gorgeous telescope for anyone who wants to explore the sky in greater focus which I highly recommend.”

Spreading across the field, the group unrolls the picnic blankets you’ve all been given, dropping down to rest atop the covered grass.

No time is wasted from everyone else to snuggle up to their boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives. The atmosphere is sickly, even for Taehyung. The couples around him have done little to hide their affection for each other since the beginning of the trip. It is a romantic vacation after all, but is it really so necessary to display your love so publicly?

You stand static and poker-faced on the other side of the mat, clear signs of reluctance to participate plastered all over you.

Taehyung has never stargazed before, let alone in this context. The stiffness in your movement as you sink down onto your knees and lie down in discomfort makes him wince. He realises now that neither of you have a choice but to put away any ill feelings and lay beside each other.

As he gets down next to you, his head nearly tumbles out his chest at the sudden proximity that he has grown so unused to. In the dark, your scent washes up to him like a timid tide lapping at the shore, hair swaying off your shoulders as you get onto your back. The size of the mat does not permit him elsewhere other than immediately beside you, no more than five inches from touching shoulders. Five inches from touching.

Truthbetold, Taehyung feels himself going insane. It started from the moment he saw you on the bus, your wide eyes, parted lips, so pretty despite the look of terror you wore. He didn’t think he would have the chance to see you any time soon. He hadn’t truly comprehended the magnitude at which he missed you until he saw you again.

And he has been spiralling since. Every gesture making his senses scream in agony, the desire to just talk to you mangling at him. He misses you like crazy. Not necessarily in that way, but just your presence, your funny comments, your feign annoyance when he annoys you. He misses the companionship.

You are both on your back now, the blanket feeling either slightly damp or too cold for comfort. The star-speckled sky hanging above you both is endless, a panoramic painting from east to west. You stare at the sky like it’s your lover, so Taehyung does the same. Astronomy doesn’t interest him as much as the meaning and purpose behind the act of stargazing. The people he’s with and the memories he makes.

Wordless, you stare at the sky, ignorant to his presence. The soft hum of everyone else’s whispers accentuates that frustrating silence between you. Taehyung is so fucking tired of the silence because he’s bursting with things to say to you, to ask you.

“Are we just not going to speak?”

His question startles you for you almost, almost, turn to look at him. The slight angling of your head before you catch yourself does not go unmissed by him.

“What do you want to speak about?” Taehyung hates the coldness in your voice. The unfeeling sounds so real. Why are you being this way? Do you seriously want nothing to do with him? That possibility scares him above all else.

Someone giggles a few yards from you two. On this large grassland, the couples are dispersed in their own little bubble of sweet affection, but not enough for his ears to not pick up these little sounds that send courses of envy through his vessel.

“What do you think?” The four weeks you spent apart were four weeks of lamenting over all the things he should have said, and all that he shouldn’t. And Taehyung’s is done with regretting unspoken words. He just wants to get everything out in the open, out of his system, so he can move on.

“I mean-”

“Look, Y/N. This is stupid, the whole ignoring each other thing. Don’t you just want to say your piece and get that weight off your chest?” In the distance, crickets chirp faintly. The discomfort shuddering in the five-inch area between your shoulders is screaming volumes. Taehyung doesn’t turn away from the sky for the fear of the expression he would see you wear.

He expects a note of irritation in your voice, for you to start arguing with him which he truthfully doesn’t mind because that is at least progress. But instead he gets a quiet defeat. “I don’t want to reopen wounds that are already ripping open, Taehyung.”

It wrenches his soul, truly. He doesn’t recognise you when you speak anymore, both with the things you say, and the way you say it. “Talking will help it heal.” Because that’s both your final goals here - to heal, to be cured of the ailment that is heartbreak.

“How exactly is it going to change anything?”

“I don’t know. We’ve had time to calm down and think and I think we should have some closure so we end on a good note.”

It’s funny now, how Taehyung is the one pleading to speak to you when he should be the one who’s angry at you because you were the one to commit the last and biggest fault. He doesn’t see it like that though, that’s all in the past. To be friends with you again, that’s all he wishes for, he doesn’t care about anything else at this point.

“So this is about amicability to you? You want to end on good terms.” Neither of you still dare to look at the other, eyes locked on the stars but somewhere distant.

“Well, yeah. Do you not?” He asks. He hadn’t expected you to be this uneasy, he thought you would have liked the idea of peace amongst you. “Everything towards the end happened so quickly, wouldn’t you like some closure?

“I would rather take my time and heal in my own way. To be honest, I don’t have anything to say to you about that topic except that I’m sorry, but I’m sure you’re sick of hearing that. It’s pointless.”

You’re coping with this differently, Taehyung understands. But it doesn’t take much effort to be pleasant towards each other, to smile and greet each other like normal people instead of scrambling away from every eye contact. How do you suppose you’d be able to move on like that?

“So not even friends right now?” He tries one last time. A soft breeze washes over you, wafting your scent towards him.

“No, I don’t want to be friends right now.”

Your bluntness stings. Taehyung finally gives in and turns to face you. Your striking profile greets him, your eyes still stubbornly glued to the sky. Your unwillingness to budge or compromise even a little bit is frustrating.

“We were best friends for the past two and a half years. More than best friends, we were literally two peas in a pod; we lived together, ate together, studied together, slept together. And now we don’t even talk. You’re okay with losing that? You’re telling me that I’m the only one who misses it more than anything else?” His angry whisper sounds ridiculous as he tries to keep his volume down, conscious of the setting he’s in.

But then he sees you blink, hard. Then blink again. Your pursed lip trembles. Another two consecutive blinks. When you look at him, your eyes are so glassy that they reflect the entirety of the galaxy above. “How am I supposed to be your friend right now when I can’t even look at you without feeling this great pang of sadness every time?” Taehyung immediately wishes he hadn’t pushed you.

“I… just would rather have you in my life as a friend than not have you at all.” His voice softens to a tone more apologetic. He is the reason for the tears you’re holding back right now and he despises it.

“I would rather not have you in my life at all while I slowly get over you than have you as just a friend because my heart can’t take this constant torture. I just want to be over you but I can’t do that if I have to pretend to be okay around you. And I just don’t get it Taehyung. How are you so willing to be friends again? After what I did, how could you look at me and not hate me?”

Taehyung frowns at you because he doesn’t see how you can’t understand it’s not about that anymore. It’s not about the blame, the who did what to who. He doesn’t care anymore but the fact that you do is alarming. You still can’t let it go.

“Okay, so is this about you not forgiving yourself?” He prods, and watches the brief flash of confusion on your face.

“I-” You’re quick to dispute but stop. Because it’s the truth.

A long silence ensures. You stare at the collar of his sweatshirt, zoned out. Taehyung knows you’re in deep contemplation, you know his points have strong grounds. There is no reason for hostility or callousness between you because it would only hurt each other more.

“Look,” He takes a deep breath. “I just think that it’s unhealthy for you to act like this. You’re burying and burying what you’re feeling without actually facing it. Trying to be friends is a good first step in accepting that we’re not together anymore; being cold to each other isn’t. Think about it.”

Another long pause. He watches you blink, watches your chest rise and fall at every breath.

“I understand your point, I know my coping mechanism isn’t healthy but it’s all that I know right now. We’re different, we’re hurting differently and healing differently. I’m sorry for acting out on you when it’s myself who I want to punish. But I seriously don’t have the strength to be your friend right now, I wish I did but I really don’t. Just give me time.” The fact that you’re not arguing with him says a lot; you have both matured from this experience. It’s sad that this is what it took for you to do so.

“Okay. I respect that.” Taehyung says. “I’m sorry for pushing this onto you, it’s selfish of me, sorry. I just… I don’t know, I guess I’m pathetic. You were my best friend and I want to salvage it as much as I can. I just miss you, that’s all.”

You don’t say anything, but Taehyung is okay with that. Because he knows you miss him too, you miss the friendship, the having each other to lean on.

The difference between you and him is that you can’t compartmentalise your lingering feelings for him and put that aside right now, whereas he can. You need to rid those feelings before you can be his friend, and he’s okay with that.

He stares at Pictor, it’s four weak stars that dim beside much brighter constellations yet somehow call to him. And he almost smiles.

.

You stare at your own reflection in the mirror.

That conversation with Taehyung resonates with you more than you’d care to let on. You let every single word he said sink in, your inner turmoil contemplating the points he made. Because he definitely has a point.

What resonates with you most is the word closure.

He’s right, everything between you ended so quickly that there was no time to process and accept it until it was already over. Maybe that’s why you’re finding it so hard to let go. If you were to be friends again, you could at least normalise his presence and gradually move past this.

Twisting the faucet on, you splash some water on your face to clear this dilemma from your head. And after wiping yourself dry, you exit the bathroom into your room with a great sigh.

Taehyung is wearing the grey hoodie - that’s the first thing you notice. As in the grey hoodie you would always claim as your own because of how soft its material is. The grey hoodie that you regret giving back to him. The grey hoodie that he would always wear when you guys gamed at midnight and it would always end with you on his lap, his locks tangled in your fingers while his mouth explored yours.

You take it back, fuck being friends, you’re back to square one.

He glances up in the dark, eyes surveying your silhouette from head to toe as he places a pillow on one end of the couch. Ever since that conversation, there’s the most subtle difference in his permanent expression - his lips look inclined to smile, his eyes hold an understanding for you that makes you feel vulnerable.

And, god, it makes you want to try. He deserves it, to have his best friend back in his life even if that best friend is you, the person he trusted the most in the world only to turn around and impale him in the chest with those stupid decisions of yours.

The omnipresence of your awkwardness hasn’t faltered though. “Taehyung, I said I would take the couch.” You protest, though you’re starting to see that it’s futile. You may be the more stubborn one between the pair, but there are certain things that Taehyung would never back down from.

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen, Y/N.” The corner of his lip turns up properly now, like he’s silently snickering at a joke he thought of. “That’s just - not gonna happen.”

“What’s so funny?” Switching the bathroom lights off behind you, you ask. You hadn’t packed well for this trip, you are only in a flimsy camisole and a pair of sweats, the cold air coaxes goosebumps on your skin. His gaze follows you as you draw the curtains shut over the glass wall, leaving only a strip of moonlight streaming in.

“Nothing.” Taehyung places both hands on the top of his head, an action that causes his hoodie to slightly ride up his torso. You fix your eyes on the floor as you approach him and the sofa. “It’s just funny how you think I’d ever let you sleep on the couch while I sleep on the bed.”

There is a dead end down this path you’re going, neither of you would let the other win. So you simply ignore him and situate yourself on the couch, stretching your legs to span it wholly. “Good night.” Fixing the pillow he had placed, you shut your eyes.

“What, no.” You can hear the smile wipe off his face, almost making you chuckle out loud. “Y/N, get up.” Hastily he hovers over you. But when you show no sign of acknowledgement, he shuffles away. A moment later, you feel a great gust of air, then the softest silkiest duvet landing over you.

Your eyes fly open. And there Taehyung stands with his arms crossed smugly. “If you take the couch, you also take the covers.”

“No! You’ll be cold.”

“You’ll be cold. You’re not wearing enough.”

You give up. “Oh, for god’s sake, Taehyung. Fine. Let’s both sleep on the bed, okay?” His entire expression dilates. He doesn’t even blink as you get off the couch and cross your arms back at him. “Problem solved.”

Taking his wrist in one hand, dragging the plush duvet in the other, you walk to the bed and sit him down. No noise of protest emits from him, so you go back to retrieve the pillow from the couch in a huff.

“Are you sure?” His voice is suddenly timid, unsure. And he’s right to be so, because you’re quaking on the inside as well at the prospect of sleeping beside him.

It’s not going to be good for your heart, you know that definitely. But like he said, you need to face this. If you touch a paper cut enough times, it stops hurting. “It’s just sleeping, it’s no big deal.” You lie. “You want to be friends right? Well let’s start with this. Let’s stop being stupid and childish.” You can’t look him in the eye as you rearrange the bedding back to its original state before Taehyung messed it up.

His reply merely a quiet yeah… before you both hesitantly crawl under the covers and tuck in. Heat flushes to your face as you do so because the action feels so familiar, yet everything about it is different.

Absolute silence. Backs facing each other. An arm's length or two between you but it feels like more. You don’t even shut your eyes because why pretend that you’ll fall asleep?

Your own palpitation is so vigorous that it’s audible. The thoughts whizzing around in your head are unstoppable, a persistent prodding at your skull. His scent is strong, that sweet honey musk that used to seduce you to sleep now the very thing that’s keeping you up.

It must be, what, ten? twenty minutes? of just laying there as you ponder your future with Taehyung, if you want a future at all. He’s right, you miss his friendship above all else. As much as you love Lotta, there is an intangible quality missing between you, that extra spark that existed between Taehyung which boosted your dynamic up to an incomparable level. You understood each other without having to speak, care about each other more than yourselves - that love was almost familial. Losing that has been too much.

Then you hear Taehyung shift onto his back. “Y/N?” Your heart skips a beat.

“Yeah?” You answer after a pause, mind racing through all the possibilities of what he could say. You hate this permanent uncertainty of what he’s thinking.

Silence follows for a short while, the endless possibility of what he’s going to say flooding your mind. Then, “You know how I can’t sleep without holding something?”

You stop breathing.

Because you see very clearly where this is going, and it’s down a road that you don’t know if you can withstand.

He can’t sleep without holding you. Holding you.

You take a deep breath and clamp down on your lip, grateful that your back is facing him so he can’t see the pathetic weakness on your face. Can you do this?

Can you do this without wanting to cry? Can you do this without succumbing to your momentary desire to just turn around and kiss him because you won’t be able to think straight with his arms around you? You’re really not sure.

“Yes…?”

“Can I…” Something rustles the covers, perhaps his arm, or maybe he’s inching closer. In the pitch black night, every movement feels amplified, more impactful. “You know…”

“Can you what?” You’re not being difficult, you’re giving him the chance to take back on this request. To just say nevermind and turn back around. Because you’re not equipped for his touch; you don’t want it, you don’t want the pain that comes with it.

Another pause. Take the chance, please. But his deep hesitant voice sounds in the dark, “Can I hold you please?”

You shut your eyes. That feeling in your nose again, that rush. Hold it in, don’t cry, stupid emotional bitch, don’t cry. What’s there to cry about? You wonder if this torment will end, and you wonder if you could ever stop feeling this much for him.

“I swear I’m not trying anything, I genuinely can’t sleep.” His voice has a way of penetrating deep into your bones, begging you even if it’s not his intention to.

You could say no, right? Just say no.

But that isn’t facing it, that isn’t overcoming your heartbreak. If your goal of this trip is to come out of this weekend completely devoid of feelings for him, then you need to let him stop affecting you.

“Okay. Please don’t make it weird.” You whisper, not daring to move a muscle.

Taehyung sags in relief, the bed dipping with his weight. “I won’t, I promise.” The sound of him shuffling closer to you constricts your throat. You close your eyes, awaiting the warmth of his front to meet your back, counting down in your head for that dreaded moment to come. “Come closer.” He murmurs.

When his hand fits around your waist, you know it’s an act of unconscious habit rather than intent. Slowly, he drags you into the enclosure of his chest, his scent and heat enshrouding you until you are completely engulfed by him.

He exhales, the fingertips of his breath caressing your hair ever so gently.

Every fibre in your body is tensing, eyes firmly shut and toes curled inwards. His hand feels enormous on your waist, holding you the only way he has ever known how to. With a unique type of affection that is so pure and devoted, yet also with a hint of protectiveness and possession.

Taehyung lets go of your waist only to encircle his arms around you entirely, his legs curling up under yours until you’re both cocooned together.

“You okay?” The back of your neck feels tender, sensual even, from the tickling heat of his breath. You’re too keenly aware of how close your heads are positioned, of the searing sensations that his hands are causing.

No, you’re not okay. Your skin has been lit on fire. Memories that you’ve long since tried to bury are surging back at full force, slamming into you one after the other. He’s too close, he’s everywhere. There is no distance separating you right now, yet you still feel miles away from him; you can’t comprehend his intentions nor decipher his thoughts. The fit of the crook of your back into his chest is perfect, a heartbreaking kind of perfect. This feels so so familiar. This is exactly what you had yearned and dreamt for every night for the past month - to be in his arms again. So why does it hurt even more than being alone?

Instead, you nod, ��Mmm, yeah.”

A compulsion is yanking at you to lean back into him.

Taehyung exhales again and rests his cheek on the back of your shoulder where he always used to perch. If you were naked right now, he would be speckling this shoulder with soft dainty petal kisses. You hate that there is still a part of you, and mind you a very significant part, that wants it.

Your hands are inches away from touching each other; just one lift of your wrist and your fingers can clasp. The urge indunates you.

It would be so easy right now to just succumb - let your hand crawl into his because you know he would hold it, turn around and start kissing up his jaw until your tongues are tangled. You think it’s purely physical, these impulses, at least that’s what you want them to be. You just miss the intimacy, that’s all. But then why does it feel like you’ve swallowed a kaleidoscope of butterflies? Except their wings are made of glass, and everytime they flutter, you feel the shards scratch along your insides. There is desire laced in the pain. You don’t know which one is worse.

What baffles you the most is how he is alright with this, how he initiated this. He said he wants to at least be your friend, but this surely feels like a breach of friendship to anyone. Holding each other in bed is not being friends. But then again, you both have always had a warped perception of what friends should be doing.

You don’t understand how it’s so different for him. How the areas where you are touching, even if separated by layers of clothes, doesn’t tear through his sanity. If he doesn’t feel the same crack in his heart, then what does he feel?

With every heavy breath he takes, you take a silent one, eyes shut and praying to be swept away by the sleep that you don’t believe will reach you. You haven’t slept well since that night. Taehyung, on the other hand, you know is instantly sound asleep. It never used to take him more than five minutes as long as you were in his clutch.

But then, maybe there is a soothing essence in his presence with his overwhelming pleasant scent and rhythmic breathing, or maybe you’ve just exhausted your body with constant overthinking, a hazy fog drifts over your consciousness. You’re so tired, physically and mentally drained... And Taehyung feels so warm and snug around you...

The last thought you have before you drift off into reverie is that you feel his fingers slide between yours, holding not firmly but with intent. And you don’t know if it was you or him who moved it so.

You wake up from the damp heat gathered in all your crevices, the thin coat of sweat mildly irritating your skin. You are facing the glass door to the patio, and though the curtains conceal much of the windows, strips of sunlight topple past the cracks and unfurl into your room.

Taehyung’s arm is around you. Still.

After these years of living together, you know everything about Taehyung like that back of your hand. You can tell whether he’s awake or not from his breathing. And he’s most definitely asleep, though only lightly.

You look down and examine your position. In the course of the night, his forearm has travelled progressively higher until it is just about cradling your breasts. One of his legs is thrown over yours, entrapping you in his embrace. In his tangle of limbs, you slowly try to twist onto your back while prying him off.

He stirs, pulls you in tighter.

Which lands your rear in the unfortunate position of right atop his crotch. His crotch that is very much awake and way too excited.

Lethargy immediately expelled, your eyes open wide.

Morning wood is a usual occurrence for Taehyung, especially after a night of merciless teasing, but randomly a lot of the times. You shouldn’t be as surprised as you are, nor aroused. He has mentioned before how uncomfortable it can be, a blaring hard presence, a sore tension waking him up in an unforgiving manner. Which means that he can precariously wake any second n-

“Mmmm.” Voice an octave deeper than its norm, he hums, announcing his returning consciousness.

Taehyung’s morning wood and morning voice. You are being tested right now.

Your concupiscence has been gradually building up in the last few weeks from the lack of any sexual activity save for your own fingers and toys. It’s human nature, and completely goes against your will - but you feel the old friend that goes by the name lust stirring at the pit of your stomach.

At your proximity, the tip of his member digs deep between your cheeks, prodding at your entrance incontestably. Your whole body stiffens as the slowly waking Taehyung nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck habitually, arm tensing around you. Ever so slowly, you look back to steal a glance. His wildly curly hair falls over his forehead gracefully, lashes fanned out from his closed lids. He’s too beautiful for his own good.

Your core dampens and you quickly turn back around.

Fuck, please, no. You can’t be thinking about him like that. It’s so wrong. But his erection burrowed between your ass is banishing any clarity or sense from your head.

But God, you fucking miss this.

You’re going mad from deprivation. The dry spell of the past month had been voluntary, on the basis that you knew it wasn’t a healthy coping mechanism because you would only picture Taehyung over the faces of those nameless men. And because you knew no one knows you as well as he does, thus no one will succeed in satisfying you as well as him. Your sex drive was non-existent right after the break-up; sex simply didn’t cross your mind once while you were nursing your broken heart. And then it came ebbing back, though faintly and infrequently, you regained your libido and would find yourself fantasising on some lonesome nights.

But now, the situation at hand is that: you’ve allowed Taehyung to cuddle you in his sleep and you’ve consequently woken up to his undeniably hard cock poking between your legs. And he is seconds away from fully waking up as well.

So what now?

“Taehyung.” You say firmly, pushing his arm away from your breasts. It’s best if you call him out for it now rather than let it hang awkwardly in the air unsaid.

“Hmmmm..?” He rumbles sleepily. You don’t have to turn around to be able to envision his face, eyes slowly blinking open but reluctant as ever, true to his deep sleeper title.

“Taehyung.” This time you nudge back gently for emphasis. What it achieves is additional friction. Your whole lower half achse to grind back onto him, to slide over his hardened cock, to reach back and pump it in your hands.

Fuck.

You can’t.

You could, so easily, but you shouldn’t. You and Taehyung are completely over in every sense of your relationship. You can’t let this moment of weakness strip away all your efforts in moving on.

“Wha…” He mumbles, finally peeling his arm off you to stretch out. A loud yawn ensues. You take the opportunity of his loosened hold around you to twist back and pin him with a glare, hoping that your thirst is masked.

“You’re hard.”

Eyes still puffy, he stops mid-stretch at those two words. And looks down.

Did he… not notice? Or did he, in his morning hazy, momentarily get the situation confused and forget that you weren’t together?

Taehyung scrambles away from you so abruptly that he almost falls off the bed. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t- It just- I can’t control it, Y/N, you know I can’t.” His stammering is followed by his jerky movements to readjust his bulge as discreetly as one can allow in such situation. The detonation of terror on his face exacerbates your embarrassment. Because you simply don’t know what to do with yourself - with your core tingling in arousal simultaneously as your brow twitches in annoyance. When your vexed eyes meet his, you see another wave of panic crash onto him.

How did you get in this situation in the first place? If only you had just slept on the couch last night…

“Yeah, I know, stop reacting like that. Don’t make it weirder than it already is.” You berate, yanking the covers with all your strength over your shoulder and roll away from him. The distance is more for your own good. You can’t be near him right now, you can’t think about his fucking cock slipping into you.

You want to fuck. You want to fuck Taehy-

Stop that fucking thought.

“I’m sorry.” His morning voice, oh god. Burying your face into the pillow does little against the fluid pooling in your panties.

“Can you go to the toilet and… fix yourself.” When the words leave your mouth, the imagery of him fixing himself flashes before your eyes. And something pulses violently down there. Fucking fuck.

“Um, okay, sorry.” You try to not peek at him as he gets up from the bed, slightly limping as he makes his way to the toilet. But you succumb nonetheless.

His cheeks are scarlet, veins bulging on the side of his forehead, and you’re not sure if it’s from his embarrassment or the discomfort of the boner. Your eyes drop from his profile because his morning face has always been one of your weaknesses, except unfortunately for you, your eyes land on his bulge.

Another pulse down there.

You hate yourself. You feel dirty for even thinking about him like that because it’s so wrong. But then again, he’s probably thinking about you like that as well, hence the raging erection.

When the bathroom door shuts behind him, you let out a sigh. You don’t know how long you can keep hold of your sanity for like this. You’re swimming in a sea of confusing emotions: the constant melancholy you have of missing him and missing the way things were before you had fucked it up; the desperation to move on and understand that he was only a chapter of your life that is now closed; the bitter resentment that you have for yourself as a consequence of not being able to do so; and now the inescapable desire aching between your thighs because of how inherent these memories are of how he would fuck you until you cry like nobody else could.

What doesn’t help is the hint of a slow pumping rhythm from the toilet, and Taehyung’s ragged breathing.

Fuck.

You don’t want to think about how he’s jerking off on the other side of the wall right now, gripping his cock as he leans against the sink, head thrown back. But that’s exactly what you’re thinking about.

Is he thinking of you as he’s doing it? You’re not sure if you want him to, because while you wish he wouldn’t, you also hope that this lust you feel is reciprocated still, that you’re not the only one going crazy with arousal.

Your hand almost trails down to your core when his pace quickens, but his sharp inhale strikes at your inner righteousness. You stop, sit up and rush out to the patio for some fresh air.

Happy Valentine’s Sunday indeed.

.

The dough feels sticky in your hand despite the layers of flour you’ve doused your fingertips in. Baking has never been your forte, you simply don’t have the patience or precision for such a crafty hobby. You glance over to check on Taehyung’s progress at the other half of the counter.

He has the easy job. Of course, when it came to allocating roles between the pair of you in this baking session, the jam-making landed on him because there’s no way he would succeed in making the strawberry tart.

You can’t help but smile at the way his lips are puckered and brows drawn in concentration as he chops the berries as finely as he could. But the way the top half of his hair is pulled back into a little sprout of a ponytail… You gulp.

Neither of you have spoken a word of this morning’s awkward event; it had been a tacit agreement not to as soon as you made eye contact when he stepped out of the bathroom. It has set a lewd tone for the rest of your day. At every blank moment where your mind isn’t preoccupied, especially when you’re doing something as frivolous and kneading dough, your thoughts would wander to the memories of his warm rigid-

You stop yourself. You’re in public and he’s chopping strawberries right next to you.

You’ve noticed how, every time you’d have those sinful thoughts, your mood would lighten a little. The pang in your heart that used to always plague you would profoundly diminish. Of all things, of course sex is what eases your sadness the most, that’s just so characterisitic of you isn’t it?

“Is everything going well?” One of the baking assistants comes over to your counter for the seventh time now (yes you’re counting). She is a petite, rather pretty, pleasant looking girl. And you have not failed to notice how every time she checks up on you two, her attention is always solely on Taehyung. Here you are struggling with your asscheek of dough yet she only cares to ask how Taehyung, the strawberry chopper, fares?

“Yup.” Taehyung spares her a brief glance before dumping the diced pieces of fruit into the saucepan.

“Would you like some more flour?” You almost scoff out loud. You’re the one working with flour over here! Why is she asking him?

“No, thanks.” He doesn’t look up this time.

The assistant smiles to herself as if he’d said something particularly sweet to her. Until her eyes land on you. “Uh- What about you, ma’am?”

“All.” You land a punch on the buttery dough, death glare and all. “Good.” Another punch. Eyes not once wavering. She has the brains to scramble away.

You don’t have the right to assert this sort of possessiveness over Taehyung. But it’s the principle. This is a couple’s romantic holiday; she must be under the presumption that you and Taehyung are together, so how does she still dare to ogle over him like that?

“She’s flirting with you.” You rumble when she’s out of earshot.

Taehyung looks up at you from stirring his jam mixture, his lips still slightly pouted from his focus. “What? Who?”

“That baking assistant who came over just now.” You grit, trying to suppress this irrational vexation.

“Oh. Really?” Clueless, he scans across the room. “Was that the blonde or the brunette one?”

It’s a relief how truly oblivious he is that you don’t bother answering his question. It’s also completely unlike him. Since when did Kim Taehyung not notice when a girl takes interest in him? How fascinating must those strawberries be to capture his undivided attention like that?

“Would you like some flour?” You mimic, batting your lashes at him.

A wide grin spreads across his cheeks. To be honest, you don’t know what prompted you to display such friendliness to him all of a sudden. Perhaps what happened this morning, or even the fact that you slept on the same bed last night, breached one of the walls towering between you. It’s progress.

“You’ve got flour on your face.”

Fuck, again? You need to stop handling stuff like dirt and flour because they keep ending up on your face. “Ugh.” You huff, trying to let the embarrassment brush off. “Where?”

From the mischievous smirk that his grin morphed into, you should’ve known. Before you could suspect, Taehyung dabs one of his fingers into a small pile of flour and smears it down your cheek. “There.”

“You-!” You gasp, your own finger already caked in flour flying for a counter attack at his face.

But his reflexes are fast as he catches your wrist in lightning speed and tugs you towards him, his other hand simultaneously slathering another streak of white down the bridge of your nose. You tumble into him, foolish grin on your face as you twist your wrist out of his grip and manage to smear your floury thumb onto his chin.

Taehyung catches you before you could trip over your feet, smiling so wide for the first time this weekend that you can’t help but giggle. His grip on your waist feels warm. You’re close enough that you have to crane your neck to see him, close enough to see the individual hairs of his brows.

Yes, something has definitely shifted since last night.

The desire is a flame, devouring all your other senses until all you can focus on is his touch, his molten chocolate eyes, his tongue swiping out to wet his lips. You just want to…

Kiss him.

You admit it, you want to kiss him so fucking badly.

Ignition in his eyes, he stares at your lips too, smile slowly faltering. The hammering of your spastic heart cancels out all other noise in the room; you don’t see anything else except him. He doesn’t move, and neither do you. That lustful monster in your mind screams, Damn the consequences. Just kiss. Fuck being friends and fuck being strangers. Kiss him.

“Alright, lovebirds over there. These pastries won’t make themselves. Let’s get cracking!” Both of you jump and the sound of the head chef calling.

A bucket of ice cold water showers over you, extinguishing that prosperous flame. And reality materialises once again around you.

Not just the physical reality, but the reality of your situation as well - you can’t, you shouldn’t be acting like this around each other. There’s being friends, and then there’s this. The line is fine, it has always been.

It’s difficult to separate the weeds of these conglomerated emotions. You miss each other, want to kiss each other. You want the hurting to end, he wants to be friends. Your break up had been too messy for either of you to have a clear vision of what you need to do to overcome this.

Except maybe there is a cure-all solution to this.

You return to your ball of dough as Taehyung goes back to stirring his boiling jam. Yet your attention is now scattered, because a seed of an idea, most probably a very bad one, has been sown in your head.

.

It is most definitely a reckless idea, one that has the potential of going very south.

You bring it up during dinner, the supposed “romantic candlelit dinner with a string quartet” which neither of you are remotely dressed well enough for. “Taehyung, you know how you talked about closure and all that yesterday?”

Taehyung pauses, forkful of tenderloin steak stopped in midair. “Yeah..?” The hope in his voice is infused with an uncertain hesitation.

“I think we should have sex. One last time. For closure.”

The violin strikes a particularly high pitch in the background. Taehyung doesn’t move a hair for at least a good ten seconds before he blinks at you. This was definitely not what he’d anticipated from you, you can tell. But well, of course it isn’t. The idea surprised yourself.

“What? I think I heard something else, say that again?”

Oh boy. “No, you heard it right. I said I think we should sleep together for closure.” You sound unsteady to your own ears. “Release all this pent up sexual frustration we have for each other one last time and then be done with this. You said you want to be friends, right? I actually think it’s going to work for me, I’ll be able to move on afterwards, I’m almost certain.”

Frowning, Taehyung puts his fork down. “Really…? You want to have sex?”

“Yes.” You’re not even going to be shy about it at this point. You weren’t sure how this scene was going to play out but you’d envisioned it to go much smoother than this. “Do you want to?”

“I mean…” Colour of wine stains his cheeks. “Yeah… But are you sure? You were just saying last night how you can’t look at me without hurting. Do you understand why this is confusing for me?”

“I know it sounds contradictory and counterproductive, but-” You halt when you realise that there is no but. You don’t know how to verbalise the explanation that convinced you in your head. “Look at it as break up sex. It’s a common thing because it works. Like you said, we ended so quickly, in a blink of an eye. Just see this as the closing chapter of our relationship. If you don’t want to do it, just say it. I just had to throw it out there.”

Worry drips down your throat when his blank expression remains unchanged - worry that you’ve made a fatally wrong move to make things irreparably awkward now, if he so wishes not to follow through with your suggestion.

But then he nods, ponderously and maybe not entirely convinced, but you’ll take it. “I think you have a point… The thing about closure and ending this better than we did the first time round.”

“So… You’re down.”

“Down.”

So, the rest of dinner flies by with the two of you wolfing down your meal as hastily as you can. The entire time, your mind is buzzing with a strange sort of excitement for you are confident that this is necessary in accelerating your process of recovery.

You and Taehyung started with sex, so naturally, you should end with sex.

If you are eating cookies from a jar and that jar is suddenly taken away from you, you would be overcome with a surge of anger and unjust. You will always remember that awful person who took it from you. But if you are told that the jar will be taken away and the cookie in your hand is the last one you can ever have, you will cherish this last cookie and take your time eating it. It would taste different from all the other cookies you’ve had in the past - better, sweeter, because you know that it’s the last one.

Taehyung is quiet, indecipherable as you stroll back to the room. You understand his doubt, you really do. Because a night ago, if he’d have offered you the same suggestion, you would’ve thought he’s insane. But after the incident this morning, and the sparse flirtation throughout the day, there is a clear indication of unresolved sexual tension on both ends.

End this once and for all with a bang.

“Are you really up for it, Taehyung?” You check one last time, swiping the keycard at the door. “If you’re not comfortable, then we shouldn’t.”

When you look back as you push open the door, you catch his eyes, filled with purpose and trust. “No, you’re right. We need the closure.”

As the door closes behind you after you enter, it feels final - your fate is sealed, this is happening. You both stop in the middle of the room, facing each other. Shoulders tense and fists clenched. The bed has been made from this morning, a strawberry gift basket sitting on the coffee table in the corner of your eye.

Your breath feels shaky.

“So…”

“So…”

His throat is trembling too.

You break into a smile at how pathetic you’ve both become around each other, and once you do, Taehyung observably loosens up. “What are we being so nervous for?”

He smiles too, and takes a step towards you. “I don’t know.”

Bittersweet. It’s the best way to describe how you feel right now. Because this is it.

“Do you want to get in the hot tub? It feels like a waste if we don’t use it before we go. It’s our last night here.” The buzzing beneath your skin grows as you ask, and a spark lights up in his eyes at your idea.

“Say no more.” He presses a kiss on your forehead. It’s utterly out of the blue and fleeting, but enough to make your heart leap, both from the bewilderment and the knowledge that this will be one of your last acts of affection.

Taehyung walks past you towards the glass door, peeling off his shirt in the meantime to reveal the new tone of muscle on his back that he’s acquired in the past month. “I’m going to get some alcohol.” You maunder.

Your fingers are shaking as you rummage through the wine cooled for the drink you best see suitable. A strawberry champagne catches your eye. How fitting.

You can’t explain how jittery you feel as you completely strip off your clothes. This is the last time with Taehyung. The profound significance, the pressure, the emotions, tide after tide hitting you.

Two glasses of champagne in your hand, you inhale sharply, and let it all out.

This is it. This is the conclusive ending you asked for.

Warm water bubbling up to his chest, you find him seated in the hot tub awaiting you. The boxers discarded by the side implies that it was a last minute decision of his to go completely naked. And when he notices your nude form strutting out to the patio to join him, he sucks in. The way his eyes rake down your body then back up to your face sends flutters to you core, but also a nostalgic pang.

Eye contact does not break for a second as you climb into the hot tub and sit yourself adjacent to him. The chilly evening breeze with the heated effervescing water provides the perfect ambient temperature. Taehyung accepts the champagne you hand him, finger brushing over yours in a way that could only be intentional. He’s savouring every touch.

“To Mykonos, to the heatwave, to us and our last time.” You toast. The lump in your throat almost doesn’t permit the words to be said.

“To Mykonos, to the heatwave, to us and our last time.” He repeats after you. Clink. And down the drink goes.

A sigh, from both of you. The champagne is bittersweet, too. And you feel that surge behind your nose again, the sting behind your eyes.

“Isn’t it funny how the universe plays out?” Taehyung says, gaze falling to your lips, then your neck, then collar. He slides closer to you. “The first time we kissed was in water, the Mediterranean Sea. And now, the last time will be in water too.”

You don’t say anything for you need a moment to collect the tears. Then you place your glass on the edge of the tub and waddle through the water until you are perched on his lap. He receives you like you’re made of glass, gentle hands coming around your bare back to pull you down onto him. You brush away his dark untamed curls from his face, appreciating the thickness of his hair between your fingers because you don’t think you’ll get to touch it again. His hands trail low to the small of your back; you feel yourself brush up against his member, already hard and poised.

You want to tell him that you love him, that you will always always love him. But you know you would break if you say it.

So you just lean down to kiss him.

People like to describe their kisses like electricity, fire, a bolt of lightning striking down their spine. But for you, it really isn’t like that at all. When your lips meet, it feels like your first sip of cocoa on the first day of winter warm but not hot enough to burn, feels as though you’re interlocking fingers in a crowd of busy bodies and his thumb brushes over yours to tell you it’s okay, I’m right here and I won’t let go.

And you both pull away at the same time, a string of saliva between your mouths.

Because you both feel it, and it’s too much.

But this is the last time, you remind yourselves. Last time.

So your lips fall back onto him, fuelled by a passion you’ve never felt before. His mouth is velvet, fitting over yours so perfectly that it hurts. His hand finds your face, wet from being submerged, and he holds you more tenderly than he would an infant. Your chest is imploding from every ragged breath you take between hot kisses and you just let it.

Arousal pulling at your strings, your hand snakes down his front, dips into the water and wraps around his cock. “Ah…” Taehyung groans into your mouth. Your touch swipes across his tip. “Fuck, baby.”

Baby.

That is your undoing.

His teeth find your breasts, taking your nipple and teasing it until you’re whimpering in need. The roughness of his tongue tingles your sensitive bud so much that your eyes roll back and your vision is black and dotted with stars. The water providing you with a newfound ease, you pump him relentlessly, sitting up so you can slide his tip over your clit and along your folds. Because neither of you can wait, you’re cutting to the chase. Anything else can wait until subsequent rounds.

Every time his head brushes past your clit, a convulsion shoots up you. Your thighs quiver around him as he digs his fingers into the flesh of your ass. And when you inch by inch sink down onto his cock, the euphoric stretch in your walls numbs all other sensation.

You have missed this so much. It’s been so long.

“Fuck, you’re tight.” Taehyung’s voice is shaky, breath hitched.

“It’s ‘coz I haven’t…”

You don’t have to finish the sentence for him to understand and reply, “Me neither.”

The boost of reassurance and confidence that it grants you makes you roll your hips over his. From the absence of sex the past month, your cunt has grown unaccustomed to his size. Your entire core aches, but in the best way you could ask for. The water sloshes as you gain a steady rhythm. You have to bite down onto his ear to stop the volume at which you want to cry out because you remember that you are outdoors.

Taehyung’s face burrows into your neck, panting hard, but thrusting harder. You think back to every single one of your times together, from beginning to now. Your arms encircle tighter around him as you kiss the shell of his ear.

The initial pain in your walls is beginning to trickle away, leaving in its wake the claws of pleasure running up and down your body. Taehyung’s cock performs wonders on you that no one else can - it’s just a fact that you have to accept now. Nothing will compare.

Yet you can come to terms with it. You can gladly accept that Taehyung will be the best thing you’ll ever have.

But then you feel the dampness. At first, you mistaken it as droplets of water splattering onto you so you ignore it. And amidst you bouncing onto him, you don’t notice how Taehyung’s shoulders are shuddering.

You stop.

And feel the streaks of his tears running down your neck from where his face is pressed onto.

You can’t describe the shattering in your heart when you look down to find him crying into you. You can’t speak, can’t move, can’t even cry back at him.

It leaves you in wreckages, how he’s holding you close to him still, clinging on despite your how you’ve stopped, muffled sobs cracking out of this throat.

It takes a while for you to regain your voice, but his tears are still ceaseless. “Taehyung…”

When he looks up, you’re struck with another ammunition of distraught. The redness of his eyes, the sad distortion of his beautiful features, the endless endless tears...

“Y/N, I can’t. I really can’t.” His voice is hoarse, as if he’s been screaming silently.

“I-I’m sorry, you should’ve said. I’m so sorry I didn’t realise.” You’re stupefied from the horrendous sight of a completely broken Taehyung underneath you. You immediately climb off him.

“I-” He sniffs. “I love you so fucking much. I love you more than I love myself and I can only ever love you more each day.” You feel it again, the surge in your nose, the sting behind your eyes. You’re choked up, speechless, resenting yourself for putting him through this. You want to bury your head in the water and cry until you pass out. 

“Y/N, I didn’t ever want to lose you because I know I would lose myself. But then I lost you. And I lost myself.” His sobs strangle you by the throat.

“Taehyung, I’m sorry. About everything I’ve done. It’s all my fault and I will always hate myself for hurting you so much.” A single tear rolls down your face, you can’t hold it in anymore. Then a second, third. At the unstoppable oceans pouring from his eyes, you feel destroyed.

“I don’t even care about that! I’m not hurt by Junho or Jimin, I don’t care. Having to wake up every day knowing that you’re not beside me has been the most painful thing I’ve had to deal with. You are my home, Y/N. I don’t want to live in a life that you’re not a part of. I just can’t live without you and I can’t stand it. I can’t- I can’t...”

“Then don’t.”

Confusion draws his browns into a frown. “What?” His face is still warped in pain. You can’t stand it anymore either.

“Then don’t live without me.”

Your teeth dig into your lip to stop your own bawling.

All this conflict back and forth has taken such a toll on you and what for? At the end of the day, one unwavering fact stands true and untested: you love each other no matte what. So why should you let mistakes of the past keep you apart?

“What?” He says again, though understanding starts to seep through.

“I love you, Taehyung. I can’t not love you. I’m not myself if I don’t. So let’s stop this bullshit. I can’t live without you and you can’t live without me. So then let’s not leave each other again.”

You stare at each other, on this cool February night, warm water gurgling up to your collars, the cloudless night sky flaunting it’s collection of stars. And you promise to stay by each other for as long as you live.

“Okay.” That’s all Taehyung can muster.

“I’m yours, Taehyung. My heart is completely yours forever.” His violent flow of tears subside into gentle trickles.

“Okay.” He stands up in the tub, and you mirror his action. Water weeps off your skin, inviting the cold to infiltrate.

Nothing more needs to be said. Your mouths find each other the way they always do, the crashing of your lips, scraping of your teeth. A new tear rolls off Taehyung’s face and onto your fused lips, but it’s different this time. They’re tears of insuppressable joy, knowing that the taste of your tongue is entirely his, the porcelain of your skin is entirely his. You’re shivering from the temperature of the night, but you don’t feel the cold.

His hands come behind your thighs and lift you up to his face level, wrapping your legs around your torso the way he did in Mykonos. With careful steps, he carries you back into the room, past the bed, that poor couch that was collateral damage to your mutual pining, and sets you down onto the bathroom countertop.

When he finally breaks away from the kiss and takes in your beauty under the bright light of the room, there is no less than absolute adoration in his eyes. Never anything less. “I love you and I’m yours.”

Taehyung wraps the only massive white towel he can find around your wet naked body, disregarding the cold attacking his own. You frown at him, hooking him between your legs so you can fling the towel over his shoulders as well.

“I love you and I’m yours.” You say back, blotting his body dry. It’s such a simple statement, yet the meaning it holds for the two of you is so heavy. They’re the very words that you have never found the strength to say to each other, until now.

“Say that again.” You melt under his smile, not a single trace of worry to be found in your brain.

“I love you. And I’m yours.”

You twist your neck back to follow his glare at reflection in the mirror of your huddled bodies under the towel. Cheeks pushed up from glee, heads leaning against each other, and just like that - all your heartache vanishes without a trace.

“Mine?” Taehyung pecks your brow, still smiling.

“Yours.” Legs clamping around him tighter, you turn to face him. “And how are you this hard again already?” His cock’s ability to stay erect is astounding, truly.

“Don’t you know? You could breathe and my cock would be hard.” Laughter erupts both your chests and it’s the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard.

Allowing the towel to drop around you, your hand slips between your bodies to clutch onto his length. Responsiveness ripples through his toned abdomen. “I want to suck…” You nuzzle your nose to his, your breaths amalgamating.

Taehyung sighs into your mouth. “But I want to-” Your grip tightens around him as you drag out a pump, eyes wide with feign innocence. “Okay, what the fuck, that’s not fair.”

“You’ll get to do whatever you want to me after.” You trail your mouth along his jaw.

“F-Fine.”

He lets you slide off the marble counter with the skin of his neck pinched between your teeth. When he realises that you’re marking him in clouds of purple, his head falls back and gives himself up as your canvas. You understand the appeal of hickeys now. For you two, it’s an agreement, a promise, an exchange of trust. You continue down his front, teeth grazing his nipples, lower and lower, kissing along the protrusion of his pelvic bone. Until you arrive at his cock.

“Do you remember the whole ice cube thing during the heatwave?” You run your finger up his length, over his oozing slit. The heatwave feels like an eon ago, but also like just yesterday.

Stiffening, Taehyung looks down. “Yes…”

“How about I pay you back for that one?” You take his shut eyes and sparse nod as compliance because you know he’s not capable of words right now.

You dash away to collect a glass of ice from the drink cooler, but on your way find something even better. Something you’ve always wanted to try.

Taehyung is slowly touching himself when you return, mildly surprised by the second item you brought back with you. “Whipped cream? Isn’t that from the gift basket?”

“You up for it?” A smirk stretches.

“Very up and very hard.” He lets go of his member and watches you drop to your knees.

To moisten him first, you slowly lap circles around his head, applying considerable pressure and letting the tip of your tongue tease at his sensitive opening. You look up when he moans, and takes his girth into your mouth, sliding his cock further and further down your throat until he pokes the back. Then you pull up with a pop, echoing within the walls of the bathroom.

You take two ice cubes from the glass, one placed between your lips, and the other to massage over your clit. The icy sensation strikes a numbing sensation into your core when it touches your bud of nerves. The cube in your mouth, you begin to trace slowly from the base of his shaft all the way up.

A string of profanities leaves Taehyung at the temperature, and seeds a satisfaction between your legs.

The ice is melting quickly from the heat of your mouth so you waste no time to guide it down to his scrotum resting on your palm. “Fuck.” He whines, his whole length twitching.

When this cube dissolves into nothing but a puddle of your tongue, you take another, ruthlessly educing those curses from him. His tip is the most sensitive part of him, so that’s where you focus on, smearing the edges of the cube around the curve of his head. His thighs tense in euphoric spasms.

The whipped cream comes next. With a few shakes of the canister, you hold his cock pointed towards yourself and view the spiral of white untainted cream unfold onto his head.

“Ah!” Taehyung yelps.

“You good?” You glance up to check that he still has a rein on his sanity.

“It just scared me.” You chuckle and place a kiss on his shaft.

“You should be scared.”

Eyes lock on his, you watch him watch you vulgarly smear the cream all over his cock with your lips. Its sweetness oozes into your mouth and sinks into your tongue. “Mmm.” You hum at the pleasant taste. Then you start to suck, the cream providing you with a lubrication that your spit has never been able to replicate. His cock glides into your mouth with such little resistance that you gag around him.

“Oh fuck, that feels so good.” He can’t look away from you, your hollowed out cheeks and large eyes as you bob your head deeper and deeper. Ribald wet sloppy noises squeaking from your mouth. “Uh fuck.”

Taehyung’s fingers entangle in your hair, guiding your motion in and out. The cream swirls in your mouth, the taste prompting you to suck harder until your mouth adheres like a second skin to his cock. He’s soon panting, even as you come up for air and to spray more cream on him.

“Yeah, keep going. Can I come in your mouth?” His eyes are almost screwed shut, but still open to keep watching. The rise and fall of his chest, and the bulging vein down the side of his cock - he’s close.

You keep sucking, relishing in the taste of the cream, the ease at which his tip glides along your throat, your own fluid dripping from your cunt.

“Fuc- Ah!” Gripping your hair tight, he thrusts hard into you as he cums, ribbons of his own cream mixing in your mouth. Taehyung’s dick pulses violently at the shaft. You watch his jaw fall open, brows pinch together, as the liquid dribbles down your throat.

You pull his length out of you with a great gasp and swallow all the remnants. “Shit. How was that?” Out of breath, you wipe the mess around your mouth with the dropped towel.

“Give me a second to recover from that, baby.” Arms on the countertop to support him, Taehyung lets his head droop back so far that his hair touches his elbows. You wet the towel at the sink and clean his slowly limping member. “Fuck that was…”

When his eyes open again, there is a fury that you know to be afraid of. He hauls you up onto your two feet and latch onto your lips, not caring about the filthy things they’ve just done to him.

“I need to be inside you.” He grumbles. “Give me five, ten minutes and I'll be ready again.”

“Hmm.” Arms sliding around his neck, you let him walk you onto the bed, hovering over you while his hands fondle your breasts that have become lonely. The insides of your thighs are slick with your arousal - that doesn’t go unnoticed.

Scissoring your folds open with his long digits, this thumb finds your clit, bulging and throbbing with desire. The vibrations coursing into you as he starts to rub compels you to arch back. You are really just a plaything when under his touch, as malleable as dough.

“Taehyung!” And for some reason, you calling out his name flips an animalistic switch in him.

With your neck fully exposed, he ceases the opportunity to nibble all over your unmarred skin, leaving angry blotches in return of your marks on him. This thumb is working quickly, the pressure at your clit superimposing second by second.

“Wait.” He lifts his head up abruptly, though fingers still going. “Do you want to sit on my face?”

Your heart jolts in excitement at the mere mention of it. “Didn’t even have to ask.” It has always been something you’ve wanted to try but never gotten around to.

Swapping positions, Taehyung reclines onto his back while you situate your knees on either side of his face. His hands grip onto your waist, guiding your descent onto his thrill-teeming face.

An incredible shock of pleasure fires up your spine when he takes your clit between his lips and sucks. This position grants him an unobstructed access to your pussy, no awkward angle, no cramping neck. So the assail he commences is totally, and unfortunately for your lucidity, merciless. His hands grapple onto your freely hanging breasts, rolling your nipples between fingertips.

Crying aloud from the ecstatic twisting sensation, you feel your eyes water. It’s almost too much, the mind warping accumulation of tension in your cunt. “Like that, Taehyung.”

One of his hands leaves your breast only to insert his digits into your dripping slit. Your thighs are aching, close to giving way; you don’t think you can withstand this tremendous stimulation.

His tongue doesn’t stop and neither do his fingers. Breathing through his nose heavily, he continues to coil your core into loops and loops of hypertension

You’re so close, so close.

And you’re there.

The pulsing waves of your orgasm sweep you away. You don’t even hear your own moans, just the roaring of your blood in your ears. Your whole body writhes above Taehyung, but your muscles don’t permit you to move off him while so ransacked by this high.

It last long, nearing half a minute before your senses come back to you.

And finally, you sag and topple over, trusting Taehyung to catch you and roll you onto your back.

“What the fuck.” You pant, low frequency pulsations still resonating down your legs, in awe of how he never fails to tip you over the edge. And the striking difference between the male and female orgasm is that, unlike Taehyung, you immediately want more when you’re done. “Taehyung, please, I need you to fuck me.”

His reply startles you. “No.” You open your eyes and find him regarding you with such reverence that only confuses you more.

“No?”

Cupping your face in his palm as he props himself on his elbow over you, Taehyung leans down and kisses your nose. Then your mouth. “Y/N.” Your temple. “I want to.” Your ear. “Make love to you.”

He paints a constellation of wet kisses all over you.

“How does that sound, baby?”

You immediately pull him back onto your own lips, a desperate craving as you kiss him back hard. “I love you.” You really do. It’s the one thing you’re the most certain about in this world.

“Ahhh.” Readjusting over you yet still keeping the close distance between your faces, he takes his cock in his hand and pumps. “You know you do to me when you say those words?” He kisses you again, so softly that his lips feel like rose petals. As he lines his tips along your entrance, you shut your eyes and prepare for it.

“I love you.” You repeat. And he sinks in.

It feels different, so entirely different from the previous time tonight. There is not an ounce of concern, of doubt, of hesitancy. You feel safe underneath him, secure.

His tender moans unravelling into songs of vulnerability. “I love you, too.” He whispers into your ear, and you understand what he means by how much these three words have an effect because them alone are almost enough to capsize you again.

His thrust, though lacking its usual roughness, does not lack in anything else. Every time he plummets into you, his mouth finds yours. Your hands are interlocked, pinned down onto the pillow. The surprising intimacy of that act overflowing to the brim. And you swear you could see heaven right then and there.

You feel nothing but love and devotion throughout.

He makes love to you over and over again this night, Valentine’s night. And despite your usual preferences, the sensations between your legs, in your chest, in your mind, are unrivaled.

Transcendental.

When it’s all over, when you’re nothing more than sweaty skin, damp hair, and hearts full of love for each other, you spend your time taking in each other’s details. His unblemished complexion. The beauty mark under the lashes of his right eye. The perfect shape of his cupid's bow that doesn’t seem humanly possible. Everything.

“What we had didn’t work, but we’re not going to repeat those mistakes again, I won’t hurt you again, I promise.” You whisper softly as you caress his cheek. “It’s all or nothing. And you have all of me.”

The glaze over his sincere eyes hasn’t left yet, though you don’t suppose your eyes are completely dry either.

You continue, “Seeing you break down like that today was… the hardest thing for me to witness. So much worse that our stupid pointless fights, and the nights where I would cry myself to sleep. And I can’t apologise enough for causing you that much pain.”

Taehyung’s eyes trailing down bashfully, and you almost worry that he’d cry again.. “I… I can’t believe the day finally came where I cried during sex…” You let out a round of laughter at what he chooses to dwell on.

“I love you so much that it makes me sick. I’m honestly disgusted and mortified by myself.” You snicker in his hair.

“Look, what about me? I love you so much that I cried during sex. Not even just a tear either. Full on sobs. I think I’m the bigger loser here.” The fact that he can joke about the situation reassures you that he’s over it. The mood once again lightens.

“All this just because you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants during a heatwave.”

He pulls you closer into his rumbling chest, laughing to himself as he toys with your earlobe between his teeth.

You fall asleep in each other’s arms, for the first time as each other’s lovers. And for the rest of the nights that come after.

.

A/N: Alexa, play ‘Fuck it I love you’ by Lana Del Rey.

Thank you everyone for the incredible love and support you’ve unfailingly shown Heatwave. As my first fic, I am of course so very attached to these characters and ending this series is such a bittersweet feeling. It’s been such a lovely journey to write this couple and although I don’t plan on writing anything for them in the next few months, I won’t close off that possibility completely.

Love you!

- Kristy

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27/04/20

© Copyright 2020

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[suddencolds]

different anon here but omg im so happy you made a kaeya/albedo drabble.. could you write up a pt 2 where kaeya catches his cold? doesnt have to be long, anything would do if youd be so kind

😭 anon... please, have mercy. Reversed roles are my absolute ~weakness~, so just this once, I am here to deliver a fic that I didn’t spend like 300 years writing. (Thanks for the excuse to write these two!!)

[part 1] 

—

A few days pass before he sees Kaeya again.

Albedo is only at the headquarters to ask Lisa if she has any books on the medicinal uses of Liyue specialties. The meeting is a coincidence, all things considered. Kaeya is leading a group of Knights—new recruits, Albedo thinks, because he’s pretty sure those are new faces—back into the main hall.

“Captain,” one of the recruits is saying. “I’m sorry about today. I’ll do better next time.”

“Struggling with training?” Kaeya asks. “I hope you weren’t hurt.”

“I wasn’t. I just… I should have been able to dodge. Back up in Starfell Valley, when that hilichurl fired. It wasn’t hidden or anything, but I didn’t notice.”

Kaeya shakes his head. “It’s a lot to think about, right? That’s one of the tricky things about fighting with a close-range weapon. It’s not a bad thing to pay attention to whomever you’re clashing swords with. Just don’t forget to keep an eye out for enemies that are further out.”

“Got it,” the recruit says, solemn.

“Your swordsmanship has improved, though.” Kaeya adds, “I can tell you practiced. The new sword suits you.”

The recruit brightens visibly. “Thanks a lot, Captain.”

It’s not surprising, really—Kaeya has a strange talent for saying the right thing at the right time. He’s patient, too, and good at strategizing; all things considered, Albedo can’t think of someone more qualified to be training the Knights.

But Albedo isn’t here to watch. It just looks like their group is about to adjourn, and he figures he should really thank Kaeya for his help a few days ago—Kaeya is a fast learner, and an even better conversation partner. Had it not been for him, Albedo knows he would’ve been up on Dragonspine for much longer.

Currently, Kaeya is turning to address the entire group. He still hasn’t noticed Albedo’s presence, it seems.

“Great work today,” He says, then launches into a speech about strategy. It’s not a notable incident—or, it shouldn’t be—except the more he talks, the more Albedo can tell how tired he is. It’s subtle. It’s Kaeya—of course it’s subtle. But his posture looks deceptively casual—really, it looks like it’s taking all of his energy to keep himself presentable—and mid-speech, he’s actually stifling a yawn. His voice sounds slightly off, too, perhaps from overuse.

They’re all busy, Albedo knows. But he feels guilty nonetheless. He knows it had been Kaeya’s decision to help him, but still—perhaps it hadn’t been the best choice, seeing how much he still has to do.

“Captain Kaeya,” one of the other recruits interjects, after Kaeya finishes his speech. Most of the other Knights have already started to leave. “If you are free later, could I stay late to train with you today?”

And Kaeya—

—Kaeya, for some reason, hesitates. He shuts his eyes for just a second, as if he’s at war with himself, before he opens them again. This time, his smile is a little less effortless, a little more strained. “Of course. I need to get some paperwork filled out first, but I’ll meet you after.”

“Alright, thanks! I’ll wait for you outside?”

“Sure. I won’t be long.”

The recruit—oblivious to the fact that something’s wrong—turns to head towards the exit. Kaeya sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, his eyebrows furrowed. He really looks exhausted.

Albedo wants to call out to him. He’ll say thanks, and then he’ll get out of Kaeya’s way. But then Kaeya starts off towards Jean’s office—to pick up paperwork, presumably—and stops halfway down the hall, tensing, one hand hovering over his face—

“hiiH… hiiH’ESSCH’ew!”

It sounds… rough, and tired, as if he’s been doing that all day. He sniffles, shivering, and continues walking, and Albedo knows.

He feels bad immediately. Kaeya had been kind enough to help out—of course he had, he’s selfless like that—even though he must have been busy. Meanwhile, Albedo hadn’t thought to tell him to sit further away, hadn’t been careful enough about not touching what he’d touched, hadn’t stepped away when Kaeya had insisted on walking back with him, hadn’t protested when Kaeya had lent him his scarf for the walk back through Dragonspine’s freezing weather…

...All things considered, this is most certainly Albedo’s fault.

—

“I got it, Jean,” Kaeya says, taking the pile of paperwork from her desk.

“Take it easy,” she says. “You should go straight home after this.”

Kaeya smiles tiredly at her. “Oh? I thought you didn’t want me slacking off. I can do more today, really.”

Jean rolls her eyes. “You look like you’re about to fall asleep standing. Please, for the love of Barbatos, get some rest.”

Kaeya can’t say he feels very differently than Jean says he looks. Still, even if Jean won’t ask him to stick around, the new recruits will—he likes them, but they’re still new to combat, which makes things harder on him. In between scouting domains, looking out for the younger knights, and trying to cover for the mistakes they make, perhaps he’s pushed himself just a bit.

“It’s just a cold,” he says, turning as far away from her as possible to cough into his elbow. “No one’s ever taken off work for a cold.”

“For now it is,” Jean says. “I don’t want it to turn into something worse because you won’t rest.”

“It won’t. It’s just paperwork, right? I could do that in my sleep.” And one-on-one training with a recruit. And after that, another meeting with the Knights, and a domain East of here to scout out on his own, but Jean can find out about that later when she’s reading his reports.

It’s very unfortunate that he has to sneeze.

He takes another step away from her, lifting his hand to cover.

“hiIH’EESCH’-ew!” he winces. The sneeze is loud, and it sounds almost as miserable as he feels, which means it feels far too transparent. “Hiih… hIIH… snf… hiiih’IiDDZScsh’ew! hIIIH’EZSCHh’-iu! ugh… snf…”

“Bless you,” Jean says, sighing as she passes him the tissue box on her desk. He takes a generous handful of them and before handing it back. “You sound awful.”

Kaeya laughs, pocketing the tissues. “You never fail to flatter me, Acting Grandmaster.”

“Forgive me for being worried,” Jean says flatly. “At least tell me you’ll take care of yourself.” “Of course. When do I not?”

She gives him a significant look, which is fair.

He takes the chance to leave her office. His head hurts, more than it would if he’d just had a bit too much to drink, and it’s the kind of headache that he knows is going to get much, much worse if he doesn’t take it easy. Maybe if he rushes, he can get the paperwork done before then.

The recruit he’d spoken to is waiting for him outside, he recalls. He rubs his nose, shivering, and heads for the door.

Someone is waiting for him, but it’s not the person he expects.

Kaeya musters the energy to smile. “Albedo! Did you need something?” He probably shouldn’t be taking on additional responsibilities after Jean’s already told him to take him easy, but then again, this is Albedo—whatever he needs, it must be  worth staying late for.

“I just happened to be stopping by,” Albedo starts. “I, err, wanted to ask Lisa about my research.”

“I take it that you didn’t find what you needed?”

“I did.” “Is that so?” Kaeya says, faltering—if that’s the case, he’s not sure why Albedo is still here. “Were you waiting for me, then?”

It’s supposed to be a joke, except Albedo hesitates, and Kaeya feels bad for suggesting it.

“Actually, I was,” Albedo says, which is a surprise.

Kaeya’s breath has gone unsteady again, and he rubs his nose, sniffling. Albedo, who seems not to have noticed, keeps talking.

“I wanted to tell you—”

Kaeya doesn’t want to interrupt, but colds tend to make his sneezes so jarringly unavoidable. He turns away, lifting up a hand to shield his face. “Hiiih… hiih’EESCHh’ew!” He gasps, and with a muffled sniffle, presses his hand closer to his face. “HIIH… hiiIH’IIZSCHH-uu! hIIIH’NGKT-Sshew! snf…!”

—His shoulders untense as he finally lowers his hand, fishing through his pocket for tissues. How embarrassing, he thinks, blowing his nose as softly as he can. He doesn’t exactly want to look over to Albedo to see the expression on his face—disgust, probably, or worse, pity—

“I’m sorry,” Albedo says instead.

Kaeya’s glance snaps upwards in surprise. “What?” “I was hoping you wouldn’t catch this,” he frowns, looking away. “I wasn’t careful enough. I did not intend for you to feel miserable because of me.”

What is that supposed to mean? “This isn’t because of you.”

“Captain,” Albedo starts, completely serious. “Whose cold do you think you have?”

Kaeya blinks. It’s true—he’s probably caught this from Albedo, given that he can’t think of anyone else who’s been sick lately—but that doesn’t mean that Albedo should feel guilty over it. “Colds spread. It happens, it’s not your fault.”

“I should have been more careful,” Albedo shakes his head dejectedly. “Or perhaps I should not have accepted your help at all when you offered to stay. I knew you must have had a lot of work. It was selfish of me.”

“I told you, I wanted to help,” Kaeya insists.

Albedo sighs. “You are selfless to the extent that it is detrimental sometimes.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I sent the recruit home, by the way. Really, you couldn’t have told him to wait a couple days?”

“He asked for my help.” Kaeya holds a hand up, veering away again. “I wasn’t going to deny him just because of… a… hiIH… c-cold… HIIih’EESSCHh’ew! HIIIH’GKTt!-shew!” His head throbs in protest, and he sniffles, tilting his head upwards, a fresh tissue in hand, in ticklish anticipation. “hiIIH… hiIIH’IIIZZSCH’ew!”

It takes everything in him not to slump against the wall.

“Bless you,” Albedo says. “You sound—”

“—awful?” He lowers the tissue with a laugh. “I know. Jean informed me.”

“I was going to say tired,” Albedo says, shifting forward to feel Kaeya’s forehead. His hand shifts to Kaeya’s cheek, studying him with a look of such intense concentration, Kaeya tries not to smile. “I don’t think you have a fever, but you’re warm. Allow me to walk you home?”

As enticing as the offer sounds, he shouldn’t. Everyone else is working hard—he knows if he does less work than usual, it will be Jean and Amber picking up the slack, which is the last thing he wants. “I still have lots to do.”

“It can wait until you’re well. The Knights will survive if you take a day off.” Albedo drops his hand, but he’s still looking at Kaeya with the same intensity. “I will talk to Jean, if it’s an issue.”

“Please don’t talk to Jean,” Kaeya says sheepishly. He’s sure she wouldn’t exactly be thrilled to find out about his plans to stay and work late.

Albedo raises an eyebrow. “Will you listen to me, then?”

Maybe it’s not such a bad idea, after all—he can head home, sleep this headache away, and come back in the evening. “Well,” he starts. “If… hiIIH… hiiIH’ESSCH’ew! snf-! If you insist…”

“I do.”

“...I guess I could head home early.”

It’s worth it, for the way Albedo smiles softly in response. He looks... relieved, Kaeya realizes, which is strange, too—he hadn’t expected Albedo to be so worried about him.

Kaeya starts off in the direction of his house. It’s not a long walk from the headquarters—certainly closer than the manor was, back when he’d lived there. Admittedly, it’s lonelier sometimes, living on his own.

Unexpectedly, Albedo follows him.

“You’re really walking me back,” Kaeya says, slightly disbelieving.

“Yes,” Albedo says. “Would you prefer if I didn’t?”

“It’s nice.” Kaeya sniffles, stifling a cough into a raised hand. “I hope you’re not just doing this because you feel bad about this.”

Albedo hums. “I’m not. I am quite free this afternoon, thanks to your help. I do feel bad, though.”

“Doing alchemy with you was the most exciting part of my week,” Kaeya says honestly, flashing him a grin. “I’d say it was worth catching a cold over.”

Albedo stares back at him. Then he smiles back, so brightly that Kaeya feels warmer, just looking at him. “You could come visit more often, then. I enjoy having company if it’s you.”

[ifonlyweknewwhatiwasdoing]

For the two-part drabble game, how about 6 - In bed at 2am, blissfully drowsy, and 28 - “If I kissed you right now, what would you do?” :)

Hi Friend!

Thank you for the ask!

It turns out drabble isn't in my vocabulary so this went sideways faster than one footed duck (who are surprisingly bad at balancing for birds) and ended up over 2.5k. So enjoy the ficlet? The oneshot? I don't know what acceptable lengths are.

Also this is super duper NSFW so you've all been warned.

They’d won. They’d actually won.

The thought sent a jolt of excitement through Anakin as he made his way to his quarters for the first time in months.

The treaty had been signed and the last of the deployed troops were being recalled. Sure, there was still a lot of mediation to do, the clones right’s bill to get passed through the senate, and probably what would amount to a lifetime of therapy to begin but this was it.

The war was over.

Anakin spent the last three hours trying to outdrink Rex, which had been a mistake because the man had drunk the equivalent of paint thinner for the last five years and Anakin was a lightweight, and the next two sobering up as much as he could when he realized that the war was over.

Tonight, was the night. Or morning. Time had definitely gotten away from Anakin.

He rushed towards the quarters that he shared with Obi-Wan faster, so excited that he’d almost tripped over himself at least four times. He arrived there, putting the code in wrong a few times until his fingers decided to cooperate and the door opened with a hiss. He hurried to Obi-Wan’s room, letting the doors open and stepping in and-.

He wasn’t there.

Anakin blinked and then started to look around as if his master could somehow be hiding in the closet or underneath his desk but the man was nowhere to be found. He sat down on Obi-Wan’s bed, drunk mind still kind of fuzzy as he tried to figure out where his wayward master could have gone at three in the morning. Today was the day. Wasn’t it? Had Obi-Wan changed his mind? With a stab of pain in his gut, he realized his master had probably decided to do some celebrating of his own. A different kind of celebrating than Anakin had been doing. After all, it’d been nearly four months since they’d been temple side and Obi-Wan was only human.

Anakin swallowed around the lump in his throat and laid back on the bed, letting the smell of beard oil and spiced tea fill his lungs as the lingering ghost of Obi-Wan’s force presence wrapped around him.

Tonight, wasn’t the night, he realized, his stomach hurting at the thought. It might already be too late. It was probably too late, and Anakin didn’t even know why he’d thought that it would happen anyway.

He sat up, wiping angry tears off of his face and standing unsteadily.

Fine then. If Obi-Wan wasn’t here, if he wanted to spend the night in someone else’s bed instead of seeing what was right in front of him, then Anakin wouldn’t do the disservice to the both of them by being in his when he returned.

He let the door open and shut behind him, blinking away the stinging in his eyes as he started over to his room, angrily letting the door open and stomping in, deciding that he’d sleep in his bed and then in the morning he’d put in the request to move quarters like he should have after his knighting ceremony. He was a Jedi Master now. He couldn’t continue to share quarters anyway, without it raising questions and he’d just tell Obi-Wan that. Yeah, that’s what he’d do, he’d crawl into his bed and-.

He stopped short, hand still reached out to pull back the covers.

Obi-Wan was curled up into a small ball in the middle of the bed and Anakin didn’t quite remember his master ever being that small. But he supposed it been a while since he’d seen anyone other than The Negotiator.

His auburn hair was fluffy like he’d just taken a shower and let it air dry, freckles dotting across his face from the sun he’d gotten during his month-long campaign in the Outer Rim. He was breathing deeply, His face was shoved into a pillow- Anakin’s pillow, his mind supplied- but he could still see his full lips, mouth slightly open in his sleep. Anakin pulled the blanket down a bit and looked to see his shoulders were bare, the skin lighter than his face from constantly being covered, but no less beautiful. The creamy white skin was still decorated with light dots and a few cuts that he must have gotten while fighting Grievous.

Anakin let his hand brush across Obi-Wan’s shoulder and Obi-Wan shuttered slightly in his sleep, body unconsciously moving towards Anakin.

All of Anakin’s anger had immediately been zapped from him, the tension falling from his body as he looked at the beautiful man in his bed.

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin whispered, kicking off his shoes and crawling up onto the bed to shake him gently. Obi-Wan shuffled a bit and then stilled again.

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin said a little louder, letting his hand slip down across Obi-Wan’s clavicle.

He twitched again, eyes blinking open sleepily as he tried to get his bearings.

“Anakin,” he sighed when he saw him, letting his eyes close and opening his arms, “Mm there you are. Come lay down. It’s late.”

“You’re in my bed,” Anakin told him, trying to keep the smile out of his face.

“So I am,” Obi-Wan told him, voice giving nothing away.

“Does this mean what I think it means?” Anakin asked him, shucking off his shirt as he climbed under the sheets with Obi-Wan and wrapping an arm around his waist to pull him closer.

“I guess that depends on what you think it means,” Obi-Wan replied.

“You’re not answering my question,” Anakin told him, ducking his head so their foreheads were almost touching.

“You haven’t asked me a question I can answer,” Obi-Wan explained, “I may need a bit more context than that.”

He wanted Anakin to be specific? Anakin could be specific.

“If I kissed you right now, what would you do?” Anakin asked.

Obi-Wan opened his eyes and Anakin relaxed as he was the mirth behind his expression.

“I’m not sure,” he said, as if they were having a conversation about the weather, “I guess you’ll have to find out.”

Anakin closed the space between them, taking Obi-Wan into his arm and kissing him with everything that he had, sucking on his bottom lip and licking along the crease of his lips until he opened his mouth to Anakin’s assault.

Anakin shifted, pulling Obi-Wan on top of him, grasping at his hips as he started to grind up into his. Obi-Wan let out a loud moan, pressing his own hips to meet Anakin’s thrusts and Anakin felt dizzy with the heat that was between them, the desperation for something they’d been waiting for, for too long.

They broke apart, both panting heavily and Obi-Wan started to drag his fingertips across Anakin’s chest. Goosebumps started to break out against his skin and Obi-Wan grinned at him.

“The war is officially over today,” he told Anakin.

“It is,” Anakin agreed, still breathing heavily.

“That means I’m officially no longer your superior officer, council member,” Obi-Wan told him, and then he bent down so that his lips brushed against Anakin’s ear, “We’re officially equals.”

“Yeah?” Anakin asked him, brain fuzzy with pleasure and anticipation at his words.

“Yeah,” Obi-Wan replied, kissing down his neck and then his chest, hands roaming down the vee of his abs.

“Does this mean you can officially fuck me?” Anakin asked him, gasping as Obi-Wan sat up, hands trailing down this inside of his thighs.

“If that’s what you want,” Obi-Wan told him, blue-green eyes dark as his breath hitched.

“That’s what I want,” Anakin assured him, squirming under the man, “Please?”

“Well, how can I say no to that?” Obi-Wan mused, lifting his hips to start tugging at Anakin’s pants.

“Oh kark,” Anakin groaned as the cold air hit his cock. Obi-Wan started to pull of his own sleep pants and Anakin couldn’t help but watch, mouth going dry at the sight of him.

“If you keep looking at me like that, this isn’t going to last long,” Obi-Wan warned him.

“We’ve got the rest of our lives and if you don’t kriff me right now I’m going to die,” Anakin breathed out, moaning as Obi-Wan sat back down on his hips and leaned down to press another kiss to his mouth, this time an open-mouthed, rough kiss, teeth clashing together almost painfully.

“Then we’d better get moving,” Obi-Wan gave him a smirk, giving him a kiss before climbing off of him to spread his legs. Anakin eagerly let him, the weight of what was happening not settling in until Obi-Wan was between his spread legs, putting one of his feet against the bed and then sliding it back so that Anakin was exposed for him.

Anakin’s breath hitched and Obi-Wan looked up sharply, fingers brushing over his face.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked him softly, “I won’t be mad if you want to wait.”

“I’ve been waiting for years,” Anakin argued, “I’m just a little nervous is all.”

Obi-Wan gave him a soft smile, kissing him as he shifted to dig between the mattress and the frame, pulling out a bottle of lube.

“How did you know that was there?” Anakin asked, face heating in embarrassment.

Obi-Wan hummed noncommittedly as he popped the cap and squeezed some out on his fingers.

“Obi-Wan?” Anakin squeaked.

“You’re not as quiet as you think you are,” Obi-Wan told him as he started to circle his entrance, “And these walls aren’t that thick.”

Anakin was mortified, even as he started to pant harder when Obi-Wan slid a finger into him up to the first knuckle.

“You could hear me?” Anakin asked and then feeling as if he would die, “All of it?”

“Do you know how hard it was to stay on the right side of the door when you’re calling my name?” Obi-Wan asked him, voice thick with lust as he started thrusting one finger in and out of Anakin, “While you’re begging for me? When you come you leave the bond wide open and it’s like I’m in your body for a second, watching you shove your fingers in and out of yourself while you cry for me.”

“I didn’t know,” Anakin told him, head thrashing as Obi-Wan slides a second finger inside of him. His blood was boiling, and he felt like he’s being cooked from the inside out when Obi-Wan curled his fingers and hit his prostate straight on.

He won’t ever admit to the sound that comes out of his throat at the sensation.

“You look even more beautiful when it’s my fingers inside of you,” Obi-Wan told him huskily, “You’re flushed from your face to your cock while you squirm on my fingers.”

Anakin let out an impossibly high keen and pushed his hips back down onto Obi-Wan’s fingers harder. He feels like one point of concentrated heat and need and he almost sobbed when Obi-Wan slid a third finger into him.

“I want you; I want you, please,” Anakin mindlessly babbled. His cock was impossibly hard and Obi-Wan’s fingers felt amazing, but it wasn’t enough. He needed to be split open on Obi-Wan’s cock like he’d been dreaming of since he was his padawan. He pushed the mental image towards him, not trusting his mouth to be able to get the words out.

“Oh force,” Obi-Wan said breathlessly, “You’re so desperate for it.”

“Please,” Anakin begged, “Please.”

Obi-Wan’s fingers slid from him, and he whined at the empty feeling but then he opened his eyes at the snick of a bottle opening, watching with rapt attention as Obi-Wan started to spread the slick on his cock and then he was adding more against Anakin’s hole.

“Please,” Anakin sobbed out.

“It’s okay darling,” Obi-Wan shushed him, “I’ve got you. I promise.”

And then the head of his cock was pressed against Anakin’s hole and Anakin was taking a deep breath as Obi-Wan breached him, his body trying to resist the intrusion.

He felt as Obi-Wan pet at his hips, throwing Anakin’s bent leg over his shoulder.

“You’re doing so good dear one,” he told him, “Just relax and let me in.”

“Please, oh,” Anakin moaned, forcing his body to relax as Obi-Wan continued to press in.

It felt like forever before he was fully seated in Anakin, the pressure of being open so wide sending an ache through his spine.

“That’s it,” Obi-Wan told him, panting as he shook with the effort of staying still, “Oh you’re so tight. You’re so tight, kriff.”

Anakin waited until the ache in his spine lessened and nodded at Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan pulled his hips back slightly, pressing into him and then repeating it over and over, each time letting his cock slide out a little more until he was thrusting eagerly, pulling out until only the tip remained in Anakin and then pressing back in, in one solid motion, fucking the breath out of him.

The pain in his spine gave way to pleasure and he could feel his orgasm building in his gut, whimpers, and moans escaping his lips as Obi-Wan began to fuck him earnestly, the headboard of the bed shaking with every thrust.

“You’re so perfect,” Obi-Wan told him as he fucked him, “You’re so beautiful like this, split open on my cock. Look how good you take it.”

“Please, please, please,” Anakin babbled, his mind unable to come up with anything else as pressure started building in his balls and he desperately wrapped a hand around his cock, only for his hand to be pushed away, replaced with Obi-Wan’s calloused, tight grip. He stroked him once and then twice and Anakin was gone, letting out a wail as he came, back arching up as he painted his own stomach his cum.

His legs shook as Obi-Wan continued fucking him through the aftershocks, pressing against his over-sensitized prostate.

“I’m almost there,” Obi-Wan promised him, “You’re so good. You’re squeezing so tightly around me. Kriff, you feel so good. I’m so close- oh!”

Anakin felt Obi-Wan pulsing inside of him as he shoved into him one last time, something warm and wet splashing inside of him and filling him up.

Obi-Wan collapsed on him, panting heavily. They laid like that until Anakin started to squirm underneath of him, thighs beginning to cramp from the way Obi-Wan had him bent in half. Obi-Wan propped himself up on his elbows, pulling out and letting Anakin’s leg slip off of his shoulder before sliding into bed next to him and pulling their bodies together.

“We should probably shower,” Anakin told him sleepily.

Obi-Wan made a noncommittal noise, tucking Anakin’s head under his chin and tangling their legs together.

“Your cum is leaking out of me,” Anakin tried again and Obi-Wan’s grip tightened on him.

“Exactly how it should be,” Obi-Wan told him, “You’re mine and now you can’t forget it.”

“I’ve always been yours,” Anakin whispered into his chest, “I’ve waited for you for ten years Obi-Wan. While everyone else was out experimenting I knew exactly what I wanted.”

Obi-Wan clutched Anakin tighter to his chest, breathing out hard.

“I love you,” he whispered into Anakin’s hair.

“I love you too,” Anakin whispered into his chest.

[simsadventures]

Teach Me

Summary: Bucky might have been a confident ladies-man before the war, but now, he is just a shy boy in a body made of steel. All he needs is a nudge, and a few directions as to how to make a woman scream his name again. And Bucky is a fast student.

Warnings: fluff, shy!Bucky, smut, like… so much smut (MUST BE 18+ TO READ THIS STORY)

Pairing: Bucky x Female Reader

Word Count: 2829

A/N: This is a story for @this-kitten-is-smitten​ ’s writing challenge, my song prompt being Strangers like Me from Tarzan. I used the whole idea of the song and a few sentences of it, those will be in italics. Also, it ws supposed to be a drabble challenge and here we are, so… ups? Obviously I’m unable to write short things.  #this-kitten-is-smitten-challenge

I know I incorporate a lot of books in my fics, and if it annoys some of you, please, let me know. It’s just… I’m and English Major and I have to read a shit-ton of books, and I’m trying to use it somewhere :D Here I used Native Son by Richard Wright xx

Anyway, hope you’ll enjoy it, and as always, tell me what you thought, feedback is gold :) xx

Bucky Barnes Masterlist __ Masterlist

Sitting in your room, trying to read Native Son to get your mind off of the last mission, which was all too close to comfort for you. Nobody got really hurt in Tokyo, just a few bruises here and there, but it was one of the more difficult missions, and so it stuck with you for a bit longer.

It also didn’t help that despite your relationship with Bucky was blooming, and everything seemed to have been going in the right direction, even after 5 months of a relationship, you two still hadn’t done it. Not that you were one of those people building a relationship on sex, not at all. But you were extremely attracted to Bucky, and you just wanted to explore things with him. Sooo many things.

But whenever you tried and talk about it with him, Bucky would always steer the conversation in another direction, suddenly being interested in what mission would come, or if you two would have dinner at this new Indian restaurant in the city. And after a few conversations like these, you just gave up on meek questions and letting him get away without actually answering you.

No, you would cut straight to the point, and you wouldn’t let him leave the room without actually talking things out. You would be ok if he told you he wasn’t ready for sex with you, you’d totally accept that. But you just needed to know where the two of you stood. If it had some kind of a future together, or if you two should just move on.

Bucky didn’t even know what awaited him. He came to your room, oblivious to the plan you had constructed in your mind, and he was just happy to spend some time with you. And when he came into the room, he still thought you two would have just a nice evening together. But oh boy, was he wrong.

You were in the middle of Superman vs Batman when you touched his biceps in a way he knew you weren’t just getting comfortable.

“Can I ask you something, Bucky? And this time, you will actually answer me?”

Even in the darkened room, you could see his Adam’s apple bob heavily, as if he was facing the worst kind of interrogation. You could feel him fidgeting under your fingers, his muscles tightening and loosening, as stress hit his body.

You didn’t want to make him feel that way. It wasn’t your intention, but you knew this was the only way to go about it.

“I know you don’t wanna talk about it, but just, please. One small conversation and we’ll both know what’s going on,” you looked at him, expectation written all over your face, and even though Bucky really didn’t want to delve into this, he couldn’t avoid the topic forever.

“Alright,” he barely whispered, and a relief spread through your body.

You sat up straighter and paused the movie, making Bucky repeat your movements so that the two of you could sit opposite of each other.

“I know you don’t wanna talk about it, and I’m gonna make it quick, Buck. I gotta know if you’re uncomfortable with the idea of sex as such, or if it’s me, or if-“

“It’s definitely not you, Y/N! I hate myself for making you feel that this had anything to do with you at all. No, baby! You’re perfect, just the way you are, and I’m a douche for not showing you. It’s just… This is something I’m not proud of, and that’s why I didn’t tell you anything.”

You nodded and took his right hand in both yours, squeezing it tightly and letting him know that it was a safe space, and he could tell you anything in the world. You two could get past it, you were sure of it.

He sighed and squeezed back, getting to the point.

“I’ve been with quite a few ladies back in a day, and just like any other man, I enjoyed it thoroughly. But ever since I was the Winter Soldier, I wasn’t with anyone, except few rare kisses or make-out sessions, and I’m just not sure if I got it anymore. I’m afraid I’d disappoint you, and I really don’t wanna do that. So I just chose to not do anything at all.”

He ended his little speech, staring at the blankets underneath you, not ready to see your expression.

But you wanted him to see it. You put two of your fingers underneath his chin, lifting it up gently so that your eyes could meet. And what he saw took his breath away.

There was no hate nor disappointment in your eyes, not at all. You were looking at him like he was someone important like you were in awe he was really sitting there in front of you, and the love you radiated made him feel dizzy.

“I could never be disappointed in you, love! Never! If anything, this makes me love you even more. I wanna explore with you, Bucky, I wanna show you so many things. Can you feel what I feel, right now?” You asked him, guiding his hand to your chest, where your heart was beating strongly.

“I wanna know, Y/N. Can you show me? Everything I’ve been missing, I wanna feel it all,” He whispered to your ear, biting your earlobe in the process. It made goosebumps erupt on your skin. You’ve been touch-deprived, and that was an understatement of the year.

“I will gladly be your guide, my love! But I think sex is like riding a bicycle, you can never really forget it. You just have to trust me.”

He didn’t give you an answer in words. Instead, he leaned in and captured your lips with his, revealing at the feeling of being so close to you. He kissed, just like that for a while, before he slipped his arm around your waist, squeezing your hip on the way.

It made you gasp into his mouth and gave him the perfect access to your mouth. You two made-out many times before, so he was fairly familiar with your mouth, and he knew his way around. There was still a certain amount of nerves from what was to come, but a determination was the more growing feeling in him. He wanted to make you feel good because you deserved it, for all those months he gave up on the intimacy between the two of you.

 The hand resting on your hip travelled north underneath your shirt, lifting it up as it went, and Bucky could feel your warm skin underneath his fingertips, making him shudder in anticipation.

He ended up right under your bra, caressing the silky material in his hand, letting the feeling of the soft material travel right to his groin. It didn’t take much for Bucky after such a long wait, and he could feel himself growing hard.

Whenever he’d got to this point with you, feeling his cock growing stiff, he would push you away and go to his own room, either breathing it out in a cold shower or just jack off to the idea of you writhing underneath him.

But to finally have you there, even if no clothes had been shed yet, it was already better than his imagination. And he suddenly wanted to do so much more with you.

He swiftly pulled the shirt over your head, his eyes roaming the newly freed skin, and anticipation grew inside him. But as soon as his confidence rose, it also subsided, remembering that he didn’t have any practice in 70 years.

But fortunately, you saw right through him, and the second his grip on you loosened, you took over. Not that you were a sex-goddess, but you weren’t scared of little touching, and the horniness and determination combined to create a deadly mix.

You also freed him of the confines of his shirt, letting your hands explore his skin. You started on his neck, caressing it from both sides before you slid further down to his collarbones, which you swiped with your thumbs. Meanwhile, your mouth sucked on his pulse-point, making it really difficult for Bucky to think about anything, let alone his nerves.

While you pinched his nipples between your fingers, you licked his collarbone, earning a shudder from Bucky. Your hands were then splayed on his stomach, scratching it lightly with your fingers only so hard that you left the pinkish lines behind your fingernails. You mouth worked each of his nipples, biting it ever so slightly and making circles with your tongue around them.

By the time you reached his waistband, Bucky was a panting mess with his fists clenching around the sheets.

But before you could pull his pants and boxer-briefs down, Bucky grabbed your hips and threw you back on the bed, laying you down and rushing to lay himself on top of you.

“My turn,” Bucky mumbled to your ear, and while his left hand was grabbing your hip and squeezing it, his right hand was fighting the clasp of your bra, trying to get the damn thing off of you. And though he might have been rusty, he managed to do it reasonably quickly. What you didn’t know at the moment was that he didn’t unclasp the pins, but he tore them with his fingers. He would buy you a new bra, hell, he’d buy you a full Victoria Secret store if he could do this with you for the rest of his life.

He threw the bra somewhere behind him, not really caring where it landed, before he latched onto your breasts, sucking and licking like a madman. While his mouth was working on your left nipple, his hand was kneading your right breasts.

You never had anyone playing with your tits so passionately nor for so long, and so when he finally ceased his actions, you were ready to come. Your thighs were rubbing against each other, trying to relieve you in some way.

Bucky’s attack continued as he travelled further south licking stripes along your abdomen, circling your navel, and licking a line along the ridge of your pants. Before you even knew what was happening, you were completely bare in front of Bucky. His strength never ceased to amaze you.

Bucky stopped moving, just watching your naked form, splayed on top of the white sheets like a goddess. He could swear he has never seen anything sexier than you, there.

His head got in the way again, telling him that he forgot how to pleasure a woman with both his fingers and his tongue, and so he was just sitting there, staring at your welcoming pussy, not trusting himself to move.

You sensed his hesitation and took the first step.

You lifted your own hand, and hill one played with your nipple, the other went straight for the target, spreading your lips and gathering the slick on your fingers before you touched your clit and moaned out loud.

Bucky felt like he was in a wet dream. The very likely love of his life was touching herself in from of him, putting a show specifically for him. You had your eyes closed, your fingers moving on muscle memory. It was when you slipped a finger inside you, and your back arched that Bucky was finally able to move.

“Every gesture, every move that she makes, makes me feel like never before”, Bucky thought for himself as he finally gathered enough courage to pleasure you himself. He slipped from his seating position to lay on his stomach between your legs, and without as much as a word, he dived in.

You released a loud moan, unable to contain yourself anymore. It was all too much. Just being close to Bucky would always make your blood run faster, but this? This was from another world. He was playing with you, you could tell.

He tried to discover which moves made you sigh, which made your tremble and which made you scream his name. He combined sucking, tongue and finger fucking with clit sucking, and in no time, you were squeezing your thighs around his head, chanting his name like a prayer when you reached your climax.

Bucky almost licked you dry, revealing at the sudden power he had, never wanting to give it up. He loved the idea of making you feel this good, because when he looked up, you look thoroughly fucked, with your hair all over the pillow, your cheeks flushed red, and your lips slightly parted, breathing heavily from the intensity of your orgasm.

And Bucky was no longer afraid. His cock was aching in his pants, and when he finally pulled down his pants, it sprang right up against his abdomen. Bucky couldn’t even remember when was the last time he was this hard.

You watched him with hooded eyes, and when you tried to sit up to reciprocate the pleasure, he pushed one of your shoulders back, letting you know he wanted to lay still.

“I’ve waited too long, doll. There will be enough time for you to suck me off like the good girl you are, maybe in the second round, but right now, I need to be inside you. This pussy is calling for me,” he growled the last part and guided his cock between your folds.

He bumped into your clit with the head of his cock several times, which already had you gasping again.

“Are you gonna be my god girl and take my cock in this tight pussy?”

You stared at Bucky, and you weren’t sure when did your sweet, shy boyfriend turned into a dirty talking sex master, but you weren’t the one to complain.

You just nodded your head, and stretched your arms, bringing Bucky down to kiss him with all you had. His tongue was licking inside your mouth like it was the most natural thing for him to do, and you never wanted to leave that bed. You saw before you a new horizon.

Still kissing you, Bucky guided his cock inside you, and thanks to your slicked pussy, he could slide right in.

You gasped, holding onto him for dear life, and from the pants and gasps, you could tell Bucky was doing the same. He stilled inside you, trying to let you get used to his girth, but you didn’t want to wait any longer.

You moved your hips upwards, rutting your pelvis against his, creating friction needed for your clit, and it made your pussy squeeze Bucky inside you.

He moaned like a wounded animal and bit your shoulder before he started thrusting into you with all he had. He delivered short but powerfully strokes, bottoming out every time, and you were 100% sure you’d feel him inside you for days to come.

You were both covered in sweat in a few minutes, but neither of you cared. The only thing that mattered at the moment was to make each other come. And when Bucky put his thumb against your bundle of nerves, putting pressure against it while still hitting your deepest spots, you opened your mouth in a silent cry, raking your fingers down Bucky’s back, squeezing his cock inside you as your climax took over your body.

Bucky hissed at both the sensation of slight pain caused by your nails and by the way your pussy was trying to milk him off everything he had to offer. It took only a few more stuttered thrusts before he pushed deep inside you and came with the sexiest groan you’ve ever heard.

You could feel the warmth spreading through your pussy as his seed painted your walls and leaked out of you, with Bucky’s cock still pushed deep inside of you.

You were both panting messes, trying to gather your thoughts and will your muscles to move one last time that night.

Bucky pulled away from you, which cause you to white from the lack of contact between the two of you, but he only rolled on his back, bringing you with him.

You could feel his cum still oozing out of you, but you couldn’t care less at that moment.

“We’re never getting out of this bed,” Bucky mumbled against your hair, and you had to giggle at his exclamation.

“What if we’re hungry, huh?” You asked with a smirk, feeling Bucky’s chest rumble with a deep laugh.

“Give me a minute, and I’ll feed you, alright.”

You swatted his chest playfully and kissed his now puffy lips.

“You’re an idiot!”

He pulled you impossibly close to his body and whispered, “Yeah, I am. But I’m your idiot, and that means something.”

That sure did mean something. You smiled and let the exhaustion of your body take over your mind as well, the idea of having this breathtaking sex all the time now lulling you to sleep.

Bucky Taglist

@this-kitten-is-smitten​ @paradisiacalsparks​ @crazybutconfidentaf​ @owlyannah​ @lassini​ @s-trawberryv-eins​ @reniescarlett​

Marvel Taglist

@voltage-my2dlove​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @lumar014​ @ptrs-prkrs​

Forever Tag:

@eileenalone​ @sasbb23​ @p8tn0lish​ @coffeebooksandfandom​ @waiting4inspiration​ @caswinchester2000​ @mogaruke​ @justthatfangirloverthere​ @mushyjellybeans​ @livsheph​ @sebbbystaaan​ @notyourtypicalrose​ @itsunclebucky​

[amysteriousmessenger]

‘Arcade Antics’ - Saeyoung Choi x Reader Drabble

My part of a trade with @dis-gorl who was kind enough to let me post it here!! I hope you guys like it! <3 <3 It’s an arcade date with Seven!  Implied female reader but it doesn’t play a huge part in the story, it’s just fluffy and fun <3

Word Count: 3.5k Rating: SFW

----------------------

To say you were nervous would be an understatement. You’d never been on a date before. Of course, you were very excited to be there, but the butterflies in your stomach where threatening to fly up into your throat and suffocate you at any given moment. You’d gotten there early just to give yourself a chance to calm down, but it seemed to be having the opposite effect as it had just provided extra time for your mind to race. Why had Seven asked you out anyway? Could he see the private messages between you and Jaehee where you had subtly mentioned liking him? No, he couldn’t have. Actually, he probably could if he wanted to but Seven wouldn’t invade your privacy like that unless he absolutely had to. And yet, what if he did know? Is that why he had asked you out? Well, he hadn’t asked you Out out, the word ‘date’ had never been said explicitly, but he hadn’t denied it when Zen asked what his ‘intentions’ were. He didn’t say it was a date, but he also didn’t say it wasn’t a date, so what were you supposed to believe? As always, Seven loved to confuse people with his antics, almost to the point of difficulty, it seemed to thrill him somewhat. Regardless, it was your first time alone with the redhead and you were both excited and nervous about it.

You sipped at the little waterbottle in your hands, trying to look casual as you turned your head from side to side, anything to keep yourself distracted. You kept looking to see which direction he’d be coming from, since he really hadn’t given you any details aside from the general ‘You wanna meet me at 2pm to hang out?’ so you weren’t even sure if you were dressed for the right occasion. After a lot of deliberation, you’d chosen nice but comfy clothes, since you didn’t want to be overdressed.

You anxiously checked your phone, it was a few minutes past 2pm, but maybe he had just been caught up in traffic. There were several chatroom notifications popping up on your phone and it was rather apparent that Jumin and Zen had gotten into some sort of disagreement. Right as you were about to open the chatroom to see what the drama had been, a cherry red Ferrari pulled up beside you. Wow. You weren’t a car person, but you could tell that it looked expensive, far too expensive. Nothing you’d be able to afford, even if your wildest dreams. You were sure that the person who owned it must be an asshole or overcompensating for something to be driving around in such a flashy car. That’s why you were so surprised when an equally cherry-red sprout of hair popped out from the drivers seat and ushered you over with a goofy grin. Your heart raced at the sight of him.

‘Seven! Wait- this is your car?’ You knew he was a fan of cars, and pricey ones at that, but God. This was something else, especially given that it was Seven and he lived in the same clothes day in day out because he didn’t know how to use the washing machine.

‘Yep!’ He replied, stroking the roof and whistling slightly in awe at the car, ‘One of my babies, ain’t she a beauty?’

‘I mean, yeah, sure. It’s very nice but isn’t it expensive?’

Without even missing a beat, he replied ‘My babies are investments; you look after them! Not that I could ever part with them, anyway. Fancy a spin? It’ll be much quicker than walking.’ Seven asked, moving around the hood of the car to open the door for you, dramatically bowing and calling you ‘My Lady’. You laughed, tentatively climbing into the pristine car. It was much lower down that you were expecting, and you were terrified of getting even the slightest speck of dirt of the floor. Just for good measure, you tightened the lid on your waterbottle.

‘Where are we going?’ You asked, but he only grinned back at you before pulling his own seatbelt on and waiting for you to do the same.

‘Shhh, it’s a surprise. A true magician never reveals his tricks.’ Seven said proudly as he turned the car radio on and began pulling out of the parking space. You were impressed, he was a much safer driver than you had anticipated him to be, given his personality and general procrastinatory nature.

‘Oh, so you’re a magician now?’ You joked back.

‘Basically. I know how to make balloon animals.’ He said with all the confidence in the world, as though that was the only specification required to become a magician.

‘And where did you learn how to do that?’

‘That’s classified information! Although, since I am a kind and merciful God Seven, I’ll make you a balloon poodle.’

‘How kind.’ You said, half-heartedly rolling your eyes at him and looking out of the window, trying to figure out where he was taking you.

‘I’m always kind!’ He joked as he continued to drive. He wasn’t wrong. Seven was always kind to you, even when he wasn’t in the greatest of moods, he’d always tried to shoulder your own pain too and cheer you up. He had a good heart, anyone could see that, even if he couldn’t.

The car ride wasn’t particularly long, only around twenty or thirty minutes. You watched people as they stared at Seven’s car in shock and awe, and most definitely some jealously. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel like a bit of a celebrity sitting in such a fancy car, but it was something you didn’t feel like you could get used to. Being in Seven’s company, on the other hand, was something you could quickly melt in to. That anxiety you had felt before he’d arrived had quickly dissipated with his stupid jokes and cheesy grin, however the butterflies were most definitely there to stay.

He told you to close your eyes as you started to get closer and closer to the destination and insisted that you kept them closed even when the car stopped. Seven got out, walked around to the passenger side of the car and offered you his hand to help you up, since the car was very low down and you were unable to see. Perhaps it was the fact you couldn’t see that heightened your senses, but Seven’s hand was so warm and strong in your own that you almost gasped at his touch. He squeezed your hand slightly as he helped you out of his car, repeating once again that you were not allowed to open your eyes. There was something about his grip that felt so safe and secure that you missed his touch as soon as he released you.

‘Noooo peeking~’ He sang, turning you around as he did so. ‘I’m not looking!’ You replied, gesturing that your eyes were squeezed shut. ‘Okay, okay!! Just a few more steps and… We’re here! On the count of three, open your eyes. One!’ ‘Two…’ You added, someone tentatively. ‘Three!’ He piped up again, clearly overcome with his own excitement and being unable to wait any longer.

You opened your eyes, finding yourself standing before a huge arcade. He’d parked far away enough that you weren’t able to hear the sounds of the machines as they would have spoiled the surprise, but close enough that you could catch a glimpse of the colourful lights and flashing games. How on Earth had you lived this close to such a big arcade and never knew it was there, you couldn’t believe. You were so excited! You looked at Seven, who was matching your excitement. Of course he would have chosen a place like this, it was so fun and excitable, so him. So very, very Seven. Plus, he probably knew all of the cheats for different games, or at the very least, the skill to win at them effortlessly.

‘You like it?’ He asked, hoping that he had chosen the right location.

‘Yes! How did you find this place? I never knew something like this was so close!’

‘Let’s just say I have some connections~ Let’s go!’ He grabbed your hand tightly, pulling you alongside him in a childish glee. You were trying, desperately, to not let the blush rise to your face at the fact he grabbed your hand once again. The thoughts ran through your head at top speed, surely, he didn’t need to hold your hand again, so maybe it was a date? Maybe he did just want to hold your hand? Your heart was fluttering throughout your chest, almost to the point of light-headedness. No, no, you couldn’t think about that right now. You just wanted to enjoy the time with Seven regardless of whether he considered it a date or not.

‘After you, my lady~’ He opened the door for you, bowing slightly as he had done when he opened the cardoor. Laughing, you curtsied as you walked into the arcade before stopping almost dead in your tracks only a few steps in. You gasped and heard Seven chuckle in response. It was alive. So many colours and sounds and excitement all in one place. There were kids running around with coins and candy in hand, high off of whatever sugary snack they had won with their tickets. The sound of coin pushers and claw-machines whirred heavy in the air, making you feel just like a kid in a candy shop once again. Well, a kid in an arcade to be more precise. You weren’t sure what you wanted to go on first, but the choice was vast. You could understand why Seven chose it and you were grateful that he had.

‘Oh, wow. It’s wonderful. This is kind of what I imagine the inside of your head is like.’ You looked on in whimsy.

‘The mind of God Seven is a weird and wonderful place, you wouldn’t want to venture in too deep, who knows what you’ll find? Maybe something like this-‘ He started, before immediately running down one specific section of the arcade. Oh no, you could see where he was headed.

‘Seven! Come back!’ You called as the redhead ran down the Nerf gun aisle. This could only end so well, and by that, you meant not well at all. Not for you, at least. He was a much faster runner than you had anticipated, so by the time you caught up with him, Seven was already putting some coins into giant arcade game where you shot nerf bullets into clown faces, with the goal of knocking them down. While you initially tried to insist that you had no aim at all, Seven was already handing you the matching Nerf gun and assuring you that having no aim was part of the fun!

You picked up the gun, waiting for the countdown to end before a spray of foam bullets erupted from Seven’s Nerf gun, taking down the top row of clowns in quick succession. You barely even had time to comment on it before he was trying to shout over the game’s booming music to encourage you to keep trying to hit the clowns and that the goal wasn’t to aim perfectly, it was just to knock them down! You held down the trigger, trying to mimic the hacker’s actions and managed to, surprisingly, knock down a clown head or two yourself. Still, it was very obvious that Seven was doing far better as the tickets that spouted from his machine just kept pooling on the floor beside him. It was over in about a minute or two, and you were ever so slightly winded from the excitement, but you were too happy to really care. Seven walked to fetch a bucket that the two of you combined your arcade tickets in and carried it on his arm like a little picnic basket.

‘Okay! Where to next?’

‘Can we go on the claw-machines?’ You asked, rooting around in your pockets for some change.

‘Don’t worry, I can cover it. I didn’t tell you where we were going in the first place so I’m not expecting you to have much cash on you anyway. Besides, my last job paid me entirely in coins so I have plenty to spare.’

‘Are they allowed to do that?’ You threw a tentative side eye at him. You knew they didn’t particularly treat Seven very well, but you would have thought that they would at the very least pay him properly for all of the work that he did for them.

‘I mean… They’re allowed to do whatever they like, I guess. But let’s not get into that!’ He started and then shrugged, quickly finding means to change the conversation, ‘That one has a Shrek plushie!’

You raised your eyebrow, partially in disbelief, but turned to see where Seven was pointing ‘In the year 2021?’

‘Shrek is Love, Shrek is life, and most importantly, Shrek is timeless.’ He said, grabbing a handful of coins from his pocket and putting a few of them into the machine. The claw-grabber burst to life,

‘You can do it! Do it for Shrek!’ You yelled behind him.

‘I have to! Gah! This machine is such a cheat!’ He cried as the weak claw dropped Shrek onto his head. Immediately, Seven pushed several more coins into the slot, moving the claw once again and picking Shrek up by the ass. You waited with excited, but bated breath as you watched the plushie rise from the bed of his brethren into the air, slowly dangling over them as he moved closer and closer to the drop box. It fell, causing the winning buzzer to explode out of the machine.

‘Yes! You got him!’ You gave a little jump and a clap, congratulating Seven for his prize.

‘Shrek!’ Seven yelled as he bent down to reach into the drop-box. It was by no means an expensive looking plushie, he was definitely poorly made and a bit ugly in the face, but it was a handsome prize nonetheless. Seven certainly seemed happy with it. He grinned at it, before pulling out his phone and telling you to get into the selfie with him and Shrek to send to the RFA Chatroom. You smiled, putting up a peace sign so your hands didn’t look awkward as Seven took the picture. He clicked his phone a couple of times before proudly presenting you with the Shrek plushie, ‘as an offering.’

Oh god, were you blushing? Was it obvious? At first, you tried to tell Seven that he should keep his prize, since he was the one that won it in the first place, but he insisted that he won it for you. He handed you the stuffed toy, and you gave it a little squeeze.

‘Thank you…’ You said, looking up at him with a smile. His golden eyes widened slightly before he looked away, unusually embarrassed. He scratched the back of his head and laughed a little.

‘Ah-! What next? You wanna go on the coin pusher?’ He rushed out, ‘You can lead the way!’

Trying to focus your eyes between all the bright electric colours, what you couldn’t see was Seven glancing between you and the pictures he had taken on his phone, softly smiling to himself. He had constantly stolen glances at you all day, he’d trembled slightly when he had taken your hand outside, and then couldn’t stop himself from wanting to hold it a second time too. He’d chosen the arcade because you had mentioned wanting to feel like a kid again, just having a fun time with no worries. He’d wanted to tell you how cute you looked, but it was so different trying to compliment someone in person. He wanted to be the 707 that you spoke to so frequently over the phone and in the chatrooms, but he suddenly found himself a little bit shy. Saeyoung was much shyer than Seven, but that was just one thing out of the list of stuff he wanted to tell you but couldn’t.

Ahead, you found yourself at the coin pushers and selected one that had a little plastic car keychain right on the edge, so you wanted to win it for Seven as a thank you for the plushie than you had under your arm.

Seven disappeared for a few moments before promptly returning with some cotton candy on a stick that one of the food vendors had been selling. He wiped his hands with some antibacterial spray before pulling small tufts of pink cotton candy away from the stink and feeding them to you. You both laughed as he missed your lips completely, causing the pale strands to stick to your cheek before he finally managed to aim the treat properly. He fed some to himself, since your hands were preoccupied with the coin machine, and thought it was both intriguing and endearing that you were desperately attempting to cover his view with your jacket so that he could not see what you were trying to win for him.

Eventually, the car dropped. You told him he had to close his eyes and place one of his hands out in anticipation. It was only when Seven closed his eyes, that you realised how tired he looked. Sigh. You didn’t know much about his job, but they really did work Seven to the bone and then even more. Had he stayed up all night to finish his work just for this? You shook your head, not wanting to make yourself upset and worry him and end up ruining the day. You looked at him again. He was practically vibrating with excitement, you supposed that he probably did not receive gifts often. Or at all. You placed the little keychain in the palm of his hand.

‘Tada!~’ You sang.

‘OOOOOOO! I love it, this will make a fine addition to my car keys, 606!’ Seven played with the little car, thoroughly inspecting it with sparkles in his eyes. Yeah, he definitely didn’t receive gifts very often.

‘606?’

‘That’s my codename for you.’ He replied with the same cheesy grin you had seen earlier.

‘Okay! I’m 606 now.’ You joked, watching him hook the little car onto his keys. If it weren’t for the loud music, you would almost be certain that he would be able to hear your heart thudding against your ribcage. And yet, what you didn’t know was that he felt the exact same way.

‘Where do you wanna go nex- Ah!’ He had begun to ask, but suddenly something bumped into him. Someone. Well, two little ‘someones’ actually. Two brunette boys, twins probably, bounced off the side of Seven’s leg. Neither one was hurt, but they were worried that Seven would be angry with them. One started to cry a little bit, and the other stood in front of him to talk to Seven.

‘Wah! Sorry, mister!’ The bolder twin said, before helping the other one up.

‘It’s okay~ Watch where you’re going, you don’t want to bump into a meanie!’ Seven melted at the sight of the two boys, only around seven or eight in age. It made sense to you that Seven liked kids, since he was such a big kid himself, and you adored the warm smile he had for them. There was an emotion in his eyes that you weren’t quite sure you could explain, but it was definitely a sentimental one. ‘Actually, would the two of you like these? You could probably make better use for them than I would.’

The two boys looked into the bucket of machine tickets that Seven presented them with, crouching down slightly to talk to them. The shyer boy, who was now as equally excited as his brother shouted, ‘Woah! There are so many!

‘Are you sure, Mister?’ The first twin asked.

‘Yep! Here you go! Have fun, don’t stray too far from your parents!’ He ruffled his hands into their heads as he sent them on their way.

‘Thank you!’ The boys said in sync, holding the bucket between them as they waved goodbye to you and Seven. He stood back up, sheepishly apologising for giving away your ticket tokens.

‘You did a nice thing for them.’ You smiled, placing your hand on his arm. A blush erupted over his cheeks, to the point where they were almost the same colour as his hair.

‘A-ah! I should drop you back home before Zen threatens to break down my door or something, he’s been calling non-stop to make sure I haven’t kidnapped you.’ Seven rushed out each word in quick succession in a frantic tone, clearly flustered.

‘Thank you for arcade trip, Seven.’ You replied, a rush of affection falling over you. It was now or never. You had to do it.  In a moment of uncharacteristic courage, you pressed a kiss against his warm cheek.

[bbugyu]

a knight's honor + choi seungcheol

he hadn't expected rescuing you to be so simple, and you had been waiting for him in more ways than one.

part one | part two

wc.5868 | smut, flangst, royal au, princess!reader and knight!cheol, its like tangled meets shrek, i recognize that thats awful but i cant help it, this is (again) some soft dirty shit, title kinks, begging, overstim, kinda edging?, unprotected sex (its like ye olden times ok pregnancy was magic and stds were curses), pls have safe sex irl, cream pie, unrealistic representation of how virgins have sex but thats why its erotica, vague mention of sexual harrassment of minors (wanted to include this just in case), cursing (this should be a given at this point)

this was originally meant to be a goofy drabble based off of this post from @hansols-yoda-boxers and then i predictably got extremely carried away and wrote something way too angsty, only carried a couple of comedic elements, and then doused it all in porn with too much plot. thanks for the inspo, mercy!

*

seungcheol swiftly rode through the oversized halls of the castle, leading the dragon further from the living quarters. further from the tower. further from you. he knew you had waited for someone like him to arrive, and he felt awful for making you wait even longer, but dragons were far too long living to be slain. they were meant to be outsmarted.

his trusty steed galloped, only slowing to turn sharp corners, causing the dragon to crash into the walls as it tried to follow. the halls got narrower, and seungcheol said a word of encouragement to his horse as it neared a closed wooden door.

the door burst open with an explosion of splinter and hooves into a nearly empty dining hall, and the dragon crashed into the doorway and clawed desperately at the floor as it tried to fit its too large body through the narrow opening. as it realized its folly, it tried to back out, but the force at which it was chasing seungcheol had wedged its body further into the doorway than expected. he grinned victoriously, patting his steed's neck and urging it towards the other hall entrance as the dragon roared in his wake.

and again, he rode, as fast as his horse would take him back to you, his almost too long hair blown back by the speed. a smile creeped onto his face. had it really been that easy? they could be back to the royal castle by sundown. he was never one to brag, but he wondered how so many could have failed before him if all he had to do to succeed was lead the dragon away until it trapped itself.

he was a well revered knight at home. he was smart, strong, and he knew how to speak diplomatically. he had climbed ranks young, younger than any before him. the king had taken a liking to him years earlier, so much so that he had delayed seungcheol's mission to save his daughter in fear that he would fail. not because he didn't believe in him, no, seungcheol had always been their best bet by far, and he had argued to be sent sooner, but the king had always denied his requests. because no one in eight years had ever succeeded. because he saw seungcheol as the son he had never been given. because he refused to lose yet another child to the foul beast. 

he flew off his horse at the base of the stairwell, giving her a reassuring pat and eyeing the stone walls that were stroked with bright colors and patterns. his fingers followed the painted seam of a leaf before he hopped up the first few steps, hand landing on the hilt of his sword, unsure if he would truly be able to save you without a fight. the stairs wound upwards, and seungcheol lost track of how many steps he had taken less than halfway. even still, the discomfort of the hike dissipated as he approached a large wooden door, and he took the last few steps quickly in anticipation.

he almost tested the handle, then thought better. he leaned against the door with a hand instead, listening. "princess?"

he heard wood shift against stone. "who goes there?"

your voice even sounded beautiful though the thick wood of the door, with a lilt that he almost recognized. "my princess, i am sir seungcheol, a knight of your father's table, and i've come to rescue you from this abandoned castle."

there was a pause, then he hurriedly backed away from the door as he heard approaching footsteps. the door swung open inwards, and he was doused in the sunlight that streamed from the room you lived in.

you were beautiful, he thought. even more beautiful than the legends said. perhaps they had tried their best, but seungcheol knew they hadn't seen you like he could now. he remembered when he was lucky enough to have met you briefly at a spring festival, back when such things happened in the kingdom. before you were taken and the happiness had left. he remembered the way you smiled and danced with him as only a child, but being viewed through his wide, curious eyes, wondering why the kingdom's only princess had held his hand and swung him around her in the plaza. his heart felt light as he saw the same features upon your face, matured and even more lovely than ever. he wondered if you remembered him, too, despite knowing that you had danced with likely a hundred others, though only some of them as young as he had been. he was so caught up in thinking about how he may be the first in the kingdom to see you since your taking, he hardly noticed the look you were giving him, one hand on the door and the other on your hip.

"you didn't kill her, did you?"

seungcheol blinked. "k-kill her?"

"penelope. the dragon," you specified, despite feeling as though you truly shouldn't have to. "you didn't kill her?"

his hand left the hilt of his sword, and he kneeled, bowing his head as he remembered who you were to him. "no, my princess. slaying dragons is not something i would do willingly."

you stared at him, his dark hair grazing over his eyes as he looked back at you in awe, and your gaze softened at his words of respect to the powerful race. no one had ever made it this far, not the entire time you had lived in this castle. when he had arrived, you were with penelope in the garden, and she spotted the horse riding dutifully towards the castle. you questioned her noises, then watched her gaze, quickly mounted her back and allowed her to take you back to your tower as the horse neared. you had heard penelope when she roared in the distance - the same roar she gave when you had to help her untangle from a chained chandelier last week - and you had wondered how he trapped her. how he outsmarted her. although, you thought. it was before midday, and penelope had always been slightly slower in the mornings.

nevertheless, there was a handsome man kneeling before you, with a proven heart of gold and a penchant for calling you his princess, and you had been feeling particularly lonely as the recent weeks dragged on.

you reached down for his hand, which he extended to meet yours. he kissed the back of your hand briefly before rising to his feet again, his eyes never leaving your face. "princess, if i may speak freely-"

"you may," you said, looking up to him expectantly.

"you are the most beautiful being i have ever laid my eyes upon. are you sure you're not a goddess?"

you felt your chest set aflame at the compliment. "sir seungcheol, if i didn't know you were a knight, i would say you were courting me."

you smiled when his eyes got big, realizing his mistake. "milady, i apologize, i did not mean to-"

"hush, my brave knight." his jaw clenched when you purred the words to him, pulling him by the hand into your living quarters.

he looked about the round room, taking in as much of it as he could. the ornate canopy bed opposite the door, against the only flat wall in the tower. where the walls jointed on one side, there was a steep staircase leading up to a lofted area, and on the other, a door. the windows were large and let in lots of light, one of which was pushed open to allow a breeze to waft through the room. large bookshelves curved along one side, with a ladder expertly positioned under the section you were currently reading through. the tall walls were covered in paintings, some old and sunwashed, while others were as vibrant as the blue sky, and many that fell somewhere between. a hobby you had picked up with time, he supposed, before he remembered the similar paintings he had seen at the base of the stairwell. had you been brave enough to venture down there, as well, when you had run out of space here? he noticed a table to his right, at which there was an askew wooden chair. that must have been where you were sat when he arrived, and he moved towards it, finding a notebook and a quill. he looked away from your neat handwriting, not wishing to invade your privacy, before hearing you shut the door. 

"i've never had visitors."

he stared at you as you closed the small gap between the two of you. "i-"

"you didn't mean to visit, i know," you said, fingers running up the chainmail on his forearm. "you meant to rescue. but alas, sir seungcheol, i may have once been prisoner here, but the fearsome penelope has grown fond of me. i have been free to go for years."

he watched your face, his fingers itching to reach for you. "my princess, what keeps you here, then? so far from the kingdom that loves you?"

you exhaled lightly, realizing you hadn't spoken to anyone but a dragon about anything for far too long, much less these feelings. perhaps sir seungcheol wasn't the worst person to confide in, if he had made it past your tenacious penelope. "i was still so young when i was taken, but even then, my parents only ever spoke of me as a pawn for the kingdom." your voice was quieter than you intended, and you noticed seungcheol's shoulders tense, not wanting to react poorly to his king's action, but unable to not empathize with you. "i was a disappointment from birth for not being a son. all they wanted me for was to marry someone from a powerful family. that was my role to them, and the sooner the better. when i was taken, i was almost thankful." you thought a moment, and seungcheol watched you like he was on the edge of his seat. "fate bought me some time."

"my princess, i'm sorry," he paused, hesitating. "i didn't realize the hardship-"

"how old were you?" you asked, interrupting him before he could claim you had a hard life. you didn't. you knew that. you were luckier than most. "were you a knight before i left?"

he looked down at you, your eyes large as you questioned him. "n-no, i pledged because of your taking."

you smiled vaguely. "you joined to save me?"

seungcheol's eyes hid from yours suddenly. "yes, i suppose that is why," he said, adjusting his belt and the equipment that hung from it. your eyes flicked downwards as he cleared his throat. "it happened a week before my sixteenth birthday. i volunteered as soon as i could."

you watched his adam's apple bob as he swallowed, still avoiding your gaze and instead staring at the paintings adorning the walls. sixteen was the youngest anyone was allowed to enlist, but none that joined that young ever got knighted. you thought of the dedication he must have had at such a young age, but you remembered that you had befriended a dragon at the same age. "you're not much older than i, then."

his lip folded under his teeth, eyes on a deep purple painting of the dragon - penelope, you had called her. "i know."

just then, the floor shook with a low grumbling roar. your eyes went to the window. "sounds like penelope escaped your trap."

seungcheol's hand went to his sword immediately, and you pushed his hand away from the hilt.

"please, sir seungcheol," you gave him a teasing look. "she only bites if i want her to."

he looked at you, hearing the gust of strong flapping wings approaching. "do you want her to?"

you smiled. "not at all."

you went to the window as the dragon approached, the tower being cast in darkness as her wings obscured the windows and shaking as she gingerly gripped it, her head poking in through the opening. he wondered how often she did that. if the tower was at risk of collapsing from her visits.

"are you okay?" you asked, placing a hand on her snout. "he didn't hurt you, did he?"

seungcheol swallowed hard as he watched you, doing his best to not show fear. he had spent six years training to, against his better judgement, slay the so-called "ruthless" dragon that had killed many knights before him, yet here you were, baby talking to it. and it was chirping in response. he allowed the two of you to exchange words and grunts for longer than he felt comfortable, but he truly wasn't in much of a state to stop you.

"well, go on, then," you said finally. "go take a nap, you had a hard morning, we shouldn't get any more visitors for a few weeks."

the dragon let out a gentle roar, and sunlight flooded back into the room as it left, flapping away. he approached you as you watched her, and he wondered if you intended to stay here forever.

"she only kills people with wicked hearts," you said quietly.

seungcheol stood beside you by the window, watching your profile. "she can sense them?"

you nodded, and he thought of all the brave men that had come before him only to never return. he had idolized them, once, when he was too young to understand, but he knew she was right. they only dreamt of the riches saving her would bring them. men the age of your father bragging that they would bring you back for you to be made their queen, giving them the kingdom. you would be indebted to them, they had said. he wondered how the men that had sworn to protect the kingdom and its inhabitants could speak such vulgar words about the one and only princess, especially when you had been only a child when you were taken. seungcheol was the youngest knight among them, the youngest to be accepted of any trainees, even to this day. bottom of the pecking order. he knew if he said something, he would never get the chance to save you for the right reasons. to try. to succeed. so he had kept his mouth shut for far too long. now, he thought, they had gotten what they had deserved.

"i've been waiting," you sighed, turning to look up at him, his gaze shooting away from yours on instinct. "for a man with a good heart. a man smart enough to be worthy of my hand."

seungcheol stared at the open window as you walked behind him, trying to understand your words in a way that did not mean him. "p-princess, i don't think i under-"

you tugged at the ties of his armor, remembering well the way your home army built it. he jumped, grasping at the metal chest plate before it clattered against the ground. "sir seungcheol, why don't you stay a while?"

he leaned the chestplate against the wall and spun to face you, brows furrowed. he had sworn to protect and serve you blindly, giving up any family he may have dreamed of having in the past. he had rejected courtship in favor of being fully prepared to die in an attempt to save you from your prison. and when he found you, my god, he couldn't have been more blown away. you were more stunning than he could have ever imagined, a radiance to you that was indescribable. he wanted to take you home, to the kingdom he called home. to your parents, the king and queen, and to reunite the royal family for the first time in nearly a decade. he wanted to see the way he had imagined your face would light up at the reunion. but you…

your hands landed on his chest, now only covered by a cotton tunic, your fingers splayed across the toned muscle beneath the fabric. "i've… never had visitors…"

your repeated phrase read like a plea, and his hands instinctively went up to hold you in comfort. your eyes met his again, and he begged to any god that would listen for a way to say no. but the way your gaze held his, your small hands against his pounding chest, the way your teeth briefly pulled back your lower lip…

he prayed for forgiveness for breaking oath before he raised a hand to your jaw, leaning down into you.

your fingers gripped at his tunic in anticipation as your lips met, and you sighed happily at the contact. his lips were soft and plush against yours, and you considered how lucky you were that the knight smart enough to reach you was also incredibly beautiful. his eyelashes brushed against your cheek before he pulled away, and he held your face near his.

"my princess, why me?" he searched your eyes. "i've already sworn my life to serve you. you could have any prince in th-"

"oh, hush," you smiled briefly. "my dear, sweet, noble seungcheol. you being the one to reach me has been service enough."

though seungcheol would never desire to oppose you, he disagreed. he had so much more to do for you. he pulled your waist into him, kissing you deeper. you moaned into his mouth, and he thought you sounded more angellic than any choir he had ever heard. his fingers dug into the fabric of your dress, and he wondered briefly how much you wanted from him. how horribly would he desecrate the oath of knightship for your sake? everything in him yearned for you, a feeling he had never fathomed before. how could he possibly say no, when your body was against his, begging for him to say yes?

you pulled at the strings holding his armguards, letting the chainmail and leather clatter to the floor on either side of you, and seungcheol watched you, swollen lips parted slightly, as you unthreaded the corset of your dress.

"seungcheol?"

his dark eyes met yours, an involuntary reaction to you calling him casually shooting straight to his groin. his hands were on your waist when his tongue shot out to wet his suddenly dry lips. "how can i serve you better, princess?"

you smiled slowly, pulling your hair away from your nape as you spun in his grip. "help me out?"

seungcheol's voice may have wavered slightly when he said "of course," but his motions were anything but hesitant. you briefly wondered if he had done this for any women before you, taking down their dress ties and coaxing the material off their shoulders like he did yours. or, perhaps, you thought excitedly. perhaps he just had a sister at home, or he had aided his mother in the past, and this would be something new for him, as well.

the tunic and corset fell from your form, leaving you in a thin slip and your undergarments, and you turned again, stepping out of the fabric around your ankles to push into seungcheol's chest, pushing him towards the bed in which you spent every night alone for far too long, your lips desperately seeking his. his fingers gripped around your waist, and he felt the warmth of your beautiful skin on his fingertips through the cotton material that kept him from seeing all of you, and it ignited something in him.

seungcheol slipped an arm below your hips to lift you slightly, swinging you over and walking you to your neatly made bed. his clothes, he thought. he had ridden through mud that morning. he sank to his knees as he placed you at the foot of the bed, not wanting to bring the taint of the outside world into the sheets you dreamt upon. you held him, down on one knee between your split legs, as his lips trailed down your neck, and his hands ran down the curve of your hip in a hurry. your hands never left his neck, his nape, his shoulders. you felt him tense at your vocal reaction to his touch. you adored the way he touched you. like you were a sculpture. a beautiful form in clay, and he had to swipe the pads of his fingers over every inch to make sure it was right. you were nothing less than perfection to him, and he had to make sure his sculpture represented the curve of your waist well, and the way it met your breasts, then down your spine and over your hip, feeling around your ass before running down your thighs. you sighed and moaned, making his fingers tense on whatever flesh he was grasping at those moments, and you wondered if all of it would feel this good.

"seungcheol," you said suddenly, hands cradling his skull as he paused his hushed praises of your collarbones to look up at you. "i'm not asking this of you as your princess."

a small smile tugged at his cheeks, dimpling them, understanding what you wished to clarify. "princess," he addressed, but with a dark tonal change that had you tingling for contact. "i'm not doing this as your knight."

you only managed to smile at him briefly before he dug his hands under your slip, pulling the cotton over your head. he tossed it somewhere behind you, but it didn't matter, because you didn't even have time to be annoyed that he was severely more dressed than you before his mouth dipped to your core.

you gasped, hard, the feeling of his tongue on your clit through your panties, and you grasped at his hair desperately. seungcheol only grunted when you stuttered out his name, and he only looked up at you, still tasting at you through the fabric. "christ, seungcheol, i'm sensitive."

he nodded, lulling you into a false sense of reprieve as he pulled away, but it almost felt like pity when all he said was "you taste too good," and all he did was pull your panties down your thighs. you didn't see where those got discarded, either, because you were too distracted by the stars that danced across your canopy, you back arcing over your bed at the feeling of seungcheol's tongue pressing into you, his lips latching around your sensitive hood and making you squeal out repetitions of his name, gripping at anything you could. his hands held your thighs up, out of his way, but in a position comfortable for you, letting you settle your legs where it felt best. he could feel your walls tensing around his languid muscle, and your grip on his hair, right at the crown of his skull, made him throb in need. you cried out loud, and if you were capable of coherent thought as you came hard, and directly on his tongue, you would have been asking why it never felt this good when you had gotten yourself off. maybe seungcheol was the answers to your prayers after all.

his eyes met yours again when you finally managed to open them, and he licked a wide stripe up your pussy. you could almost focus on his pupils, dilated in lust, and he tugged at the ties around his riding boots. he pulled you to sit up as he stood, pressing your lips together again. you moaned, tasting yourself on him, your arms instinctively draping themselves around his shoulders as he hurriedly undid his belt buckle. you adjusted your posture, and you were tugging at where his tunic was tucked into the belt he was stripping away from his body, pulling it over his head as soon as he dropped his equipment on the ground. you were on your knees at the foot of your bed, your hands skating up his gorgeous torso, still not over how insanely lucky you felt to have been found by possibly the most perfect man in existence.

then, when he shoved his pants down his hips and his undergarments went with it, you were absolutely positive he was the most perfect man in existence.

his member was hot and heavy, and you had to swallow to stop yourself from drooling onto yourself as you sat back. you reached for it, and seungcheol hissed at the contact as your fingers wrapped around the shaft. his lips chased yours, hips inadvertently thrusting into your hand while he kicked off his boots. when he stopped, so did you, and his eyes opened to look your face up and down.

"princess, this would likely be punishable by death if i were any other knight."

you knew he was right, but you now knew that the two of you held all the cards. the tiniest detail he had implied - only punishable if he were any other knight. your father liked him. and he had saved his beautiful daughter and heiress to the throne. anything could happen from here, and you two would end up on top. you smiled, only enough for him to barely catch it as he caught his breath, then kissed him briefly. "let's make it worth while, then, shall we?"

seungcheol's stomach clenched at your words, his grip on your hips tight. he gave you a need filled kiss before flipping you onto your stomach, lifting your hips until your knees settled at an angle on either side of his legs. he held himself at your entrance, gathering your leaking juices on the head of his already red hot cock as you moaned helplessly into your blankets, your full chest pushing into the mattress. your hand skated down to him, brushing over his fingers on your hip before he grabbed it and pushed your hand against your back. you whined, trying your hardest to push back onto him despite him holding you off.

"you'll hurt yourself, princess," seungcheol warned, eyebrows crinkling as he tried to stave off his want to snap full into your velvety cushioned walls, only dipping himself into you a centimeter at a time. you could only whine again, then gasped once when his full head popped into you.

"please, seungcheol, please please," you begged, tears threatening your eyes as they stinged with want. your fingernails dug into his hand. "i need you. all of it. please."

he groaned at your pleas, his hips jerking ever so slightly as you moaned in response. he let go of your hand to grip your hips with both hands, and you scrambled, using your newly recovered limb to push yourself back into his hips. you screamed into your blanket as seungcheol let out a choked moan, suddenly fully sheathed in your warmth. you were breathing heavily, mind swimming at the feeling of him stretching you out wide, and all the incredible places he was hitting. it hurt, slightly, but god it hurt good. he paused, praying to god he didn't cum just from the feeling of you around him - he needed this, and he needed a lot of it. he would never forgive himself for cutting it off early.

you were gasping as you pushed your palms into the bed, moving your body forward and pushing back again, really savoring the way his thick cock fit snugly in you, the way it fucked into a sweet spot you had never reached before. your babbling became less coherent as seungcheol recovered his ability to move, pulling you back into his thrusting hips with a pleasantly tight grip around your waist. he leaned forward over you, pinching at your nipples before letting one hand roam down your stomach to your core. you yelped, your elbows buckling as his finger brushed against your clit. you collapsed into the mattress, though he was holding your hips up to where his met them repeatedly, and you moaned, desperately trying to lift yourself off of your own face. his other hand pulled your hair away from your neck, gripping it in a loose ponytail as he kissed your shoulder blade.

"you're the most perfect thing i've ever seen," seungcheol said breathlessly. "the most perfect thing i've ever felt."

you pressed your neck into the blanket, desperately twisting and trying to see him as you were steadily climbing towards a second release. you wanted to say something equally as poetic and sensual, but when his dark eyes found yours, and you moaned in the same moment, you had already said the most sensual thing you could have. and then, you swore you saw a dark smirk on his lips before they hungrily mouthed at yours.

you squirmed beneath him gasping and curling your toes as he pounded into you, the sound of his hips against your ass echoing off the far wall vaguely. your release came fast and hard, the same way he fucked you through it, and seungcheol used every ounce of discipline he had to keep himself away from ending this as you pleaded for him to cum with you, voice cracking as he snapped into you.

you were somewhere between babbling and crying, your vision blurred from a combination of the way his cock felt like heaven and the moisture that had accumulated in your eyes from the orgasm, and your hand grasped at his as it clumsily rubbed against your nearly spent clit. you laced your fingers with his, pulling it up to your breast, and he rolled a nipple between a finger and a thumb until you were pushing yourself back onto him again, desperate for more of what only he could give you.

you could only gasp when he pulled from you completely, your pussy aching as it stopped accommodating for seungcheol's considerable girth. your hands gripped at his shoulders as he rolled you over again, and you easily aided him in repositioning you on the bed, giving him ample space to toss you around as much as he wanted.

you attached your lips to his neck, starting to crave him deep in you again, if only he would just let go. you wanted to feel him chase after his high with no concern for you. you needed to feel his cum stain your walls. your open mouthed kisses down his pulse as you begged for him to just lose himself in you, and god did that sound delightful, but he didn't want to be done yet.

his still slick cock bumped into your clit, making you squeal against his shoulder, biting down briefly. his arm nearly buckled, and you registered the reaction just in time to bite down on his pulse as he pushed into you again.

with his knees on either side of your hips, he was curled over you, pulling your thighs down to sink you onto his cock. you wiped at his hair, slick with sweat now, and you imagined how lovely he would look in your mosaic wash tub in the room behind your bed, lit by the moonlight streaming through the window as you sat on his lap, taking in as much of him as you were now. you hoped he would be okay with staying long enough to fulfill some of your wandering youthful fantasies. his lips landed on yours again as you gripped at his hair, noises falling out of you as he split you in half.

he sat up, making his member curve into you addictively, and your back arched slightly in reaction. he ran his hands up your torso, curving around your breasts, playing with your nipples, rolling his hips gently into yours as you let out some of the most explicit and seductive moans seungcheol could have ever hoped to hear. you rolled your hips over his and he grunted, brow twitching inwards as he stared down at you. you looked back up at him, then rolled them again, making him drop his head. you pulled a deep moan from him with another roll, and as you continued your motions, his cock bulging into all your pressure points, you were whining for release as he was letting out short gasps, brows knit together. he suddenly laced his fingers with yours, then pulled your hips onto his abruptly with his palm on your thigh, and you shook with pleasure as you felt hot rope after hot rope make a complete mess of your cunt, your walls pulling him deeper, cum seeping out around the dick that took up too much space in you.

"fuck," he groaned, wiping back his damp hair as your nails scraped down his chest. "i didn't want to cum."

your mouth was hanging open and your eyes were only half lidded, and seungcheol thought he had never seen a more appealing expression in his life. "i needed you to."

his soul returned to his body as your words sent a rush of arousal into his body again, and he briefly wondered if he would ever stop wanting to be in you. he pulled one of your hands from his chest to place too gentle kisses across your knuckles, and he pumped into you slowly, white streaks leaking out as his cock steadily refilled the space. he pulled out, using a hand on his cock to collect some of the leaking cum and pushing it back into you. you practically wailed, fingers digging into his thighs as your messy cunt pulsed around him.

"s-s-" you whined, the name unable to be vocalised as he pumped deeper into you. "sss- s-!"

"yes, princess," he panted, a hand wrapping gently around your throat. despite there being no pressure, the warmth of his hand on you made you groan. his voice was low and harsh, like gravel. "am i serving you well?"

"s-sir," you gasped, finding the title easier to force out than his name in that moment. "i'm-m gon- god, s-seungcheol, i'm gonna-"

the hand on your throat slipped between your neck and the plush pillow, lifting your face up to be directly under his, and you watched him glower at you with a gap between your lips. "then cum, baby."

and with his chocolate eyes on yours, you quaked below him, clawing at his back and squeezing him tight. soon his lips were a comforting presence on yours, and your toes curled aimlessly with the backdrop of your ceiling as your face burned red, embarrassed by his ability to egg you on so successfully.

"you are incredible," seungcheol said finally, kissing at your squeezed shut eyelids. "how lucky am i that you saw something in me."

your eyes opened slowly, heat still radiating off your cheeks from your orgasm. "sir seungcheol, i think we may have been destined to cross paths."

he thought of the brief time you had danced with him at festival. the reason he dreamt of being a knight. the way your father took favor of him. the way his entire adolescence had been spent training to rescue you. perhaps, he thought. perhaps you were right.

and whether you were or not, when his lips met yours again and his hand caressed your cheek, you were once again nothing but putty in his hands. his fingers felt like they were designed to specifically hold your body, and he was that much closer to believing you were his destiny.

[battlinghurricanes]

What You Did

Read here or on Ao3!

Summary: Words come easier and kinder in the peace of night, beyond the heat of battle, safe in the heat of a humid summer breeze. Hektor offers some. Paris listens. (for the last time.)

[ The Iliad, Hektor & Paris ]

[ Rated G, 1147 words, Drabble, Missing scene, Mentions of canon character death ]

-

Paris nearly fumbles the wax for his bowstring when he notices Hektor has managed to steal up behind him from out of the dark. He sets the jar aside for the moment, temporarily abandoning the maintenance of his bow when his brother stops beside him with intention.

“Paris,” Hektor begins from under his curious gaze before he can inquire after the reason for his visit. “I heard what you did.”

Paris jolts, then smiles immediately, better to disarm what might come next. He’s done a lot of things. He’s not sure what this one is. Very carefully and deliberately mild, he risks no more than a simple “Oh?” in reply.

“That you shot Diomedes,” Hektor continues. “That you drove him from the battlefield.”

A loud, crass sound escapes Paris’s chest, half aggravated, half relieved. “By the gods-! Hektor!” he wails dramatically, earning a startled recoil and a concerned stare. “You can not start with ‘Paris, I heard what you did’- I was ready to cry! You menace! You ass!”

Corners of his eyes crinkled, Hektor laughs with a roll of his head, hearty and unburdened and infectious and Paris is beaming in return before he even knows it. Paris’s heart flutters right up to weightlessness in the swell of his laughter, such a precious sound he'd been denied so long. Tiny glints of torch light reflect off the edges of Hektor’s teeth; the leftmost incisor is a little crooked. He’d forgotten. It’s been so long that he’d forgotten that.

It fades with a gentle chuckle and Paris’s smile does not wane. "Yeah, I suppose that put you on your toes, didn't it? Sorry. Force of habit?” Hektor offers with a sideways glance and grin, a little sheepishness within the humor there.

Paris opens his mouth, then sets aside an instinctual response that would land heavier than he wants. The night is nice, if balmy. Let it remain such.

“Then cut it out,” Paris retorts blithely instead. “What if next time I have a heart attack?” His brother just blows out a breath in response.

“But truly,” Hektor redirects, seriousness returning to his voice, “A few of the men told me that you shot him through foot. And I heard Diomedes made quite the scene and quite the speech, but then turned around with his tail between his legs the next moment anyways.”

Paris sweeps his tongue over the grin he can’t fully suppress, but when Hektor sees and catches his eye, there’s an indulgent quirk to his own lips. Paris has to look away, hot and flush with unfamiliar pride, drunk on the sudden rush of Hektor’s recognition.

He feels he can allow himself, “Well, no boast in the world can make it any easier to fight with a hole through your foot, though Diomedes seemed convinced he’d find one if he yapped long enough.” Hektor snorts softly.

Shit- that really did happen today, didn’t it? Just this morning. He can scarcely wrap his mind around it; it feels like a lifetime passed between then and now. Gods, Paris hates fighting.

Hektor wears a thoughtful expression when Paris musters the courage to look back at him again. “He’s been a plague on our forces as of late. I was worried. It’s crucial that you were able to drive him back. I hope it lasts a while yet.”

Paris doesn’t know what to say, but Hektor doesn’t seem finished regardless, even though he pauses. He deliberates. Paris tries to squash a rueful flare of feeling at the thought that this will be the proof that he cannot shrink from the fight, that he should be out here every day, doing more, being more.

But when Hektor’s voice rises in the night air again, slow and deliberate, it says, “And I appreciate that you stepped in when he forced me to retreat.” Paris’s heart had stopped when he saw the spear go glancing off Hektor’s gleaming helmet, driving home a fearsome dent. “It’s good to protect your own. I’m grateful.”

Although he knows Hektor is thinking of the soldiers he was forced to abandon, Paris had just been thinking of Hektor, of biting back in his defence. He cares not for the discrepancy. Paris will look after Hektor where Hektor doesn’t.

“See if he takes aim at you again,” is all Paris can think to say, a little breathy, even though he knows the battle hungry Achaean wouldn’t hesitate if given another chance.

“Even it out and shoot the other foot next time,” Hektor quips. Paris huffs a laugh.

Wetting his lips and shifting from foot to foot, he searches for what to say now. Without thought, out spilling from his lips comes, “So, on to burn the Argive ships tomorrow, then?” and an underlying sliver of intensity he can’t place belies his casual words.

Hektor’s brow twitches faintly and he takes in and releases a breath. “Gods allowing,” is all he says.

A shiver of anticipation runs through Paris, awaiting the battles yet to come. He hardly knows what to do with the feeling, unsettling to him given that he never looks forward to fights. But something thrills him now nonetheless. It sits strange in his chest, but maybe it’s because Hektor had a point, they’d gotten closer to driving out the Achaeans today than they ever have...

“Rest, Paris. It won’t be an easy day,” Hektor instructs him. And you earned it,” he adds simply and Paris has to resist a wobbly smile at the notion.

Hektor casts a glance to the distant lights of Troy, his mind seeming elsewhere now, but before departing he steps in suddenly and shoves his broad hand down on the crown of his head and ruins his hair.

Paris yowls like a cat rubbed backwards and tries to dance away, smacking at Hektor’s scarred arm sharply. “Menace! Arhh!” Retreating only once the damage has been done, Hektor grins at him, a rare indulgence of mischief within the curl of his lips.

Paris sticks up his nose with a huff as he quickly rearranges his victimized curls and refuses to let his brother see anything but his offence. He’s not sure it works. He knows he’s pouting.

Hektor’s eyes linger on him a moment longer, made more gentle in the ease of night, then he turns and walks away. Paris turns back to where he set his bow and supplies and tosses a “Goodnight,” back over his shoulder.

He thinks it goes unheard for a moment, until Hektor’s “‘Night,” reaches his ears.

Paris finishes tending to his bow before returning to the comfort of his tent, though it pales in comparison to his lavish room in Troy. Still, it suits for the night and Paris settles on his cot to sleep.

It is the last time he claims more than a fitful doze until Hektor’s body returns to Troy, thirteen days later.

[sailor-manga]

“Caught” Part Two- a Shouta Aizawa [drabble?]

A/N: This whole thing was honestly supposed to be pure raunchy filth, but I’ve been dealing with my own issues lately and it turned into sad bitch hours. Part Three is on the way, hopefully you enjoy it! It made me feel a lot better about my own crap that I’m dealing with right now. 

Warnings: Mentions of Anxiety, Angst, Mentions of Smut, Swearing. 

Word Count: 1,427

It had been a few days since your encounter with your former homeroom teacher, Shouta Aizawa in the library. You did what he said, once classes were done, you went to the room where he did tutoring for other college students who needed the extra help- But he wasn’t there. You couldn’t hide your disappointment as you walked away from the empty room, and now days later.. It still hung on your mind. You felt kind of used. 

Sitting at your favorite cafe down the street from your apartment, you’d idly play with that straw that poked out of your drink. You were in such a depressed mood, it seemed like such a wild concept to you, almost too good to be true. An older teacher returning your feelings once you got out? It was like a sappy teen movie. At least the movies had a happy ending, here you were sitting alone with no one to confide too. 

You always had problems with socializing, you were never labeled as popular nor did you ever really have any friends in high school. That was probably why you took such a liking to Mr. Aizawa. He paid attention to what you had to say, helped you through some struggles that you had in his class, and always encouraged you to try your best, even if it was in his own disinterested way. 

Lifting your cup to your mouth, you’d finally take a sip of your coffee and look out to the window, people watching silently. That was when you’d feel your phone buzz. Setting your drink down and retrieving your phone, you would unlock it and blink a few times- It was a number that you didn’t have saved in your phone. Opening up the text you would tense up and bite your lip. 

“You have every right to be pissed at me, but let me explain my side. Come over tonight.” -Shouta.

Staring at the text, your phone would buzz again, a second text from Aizawa with his address. At first you just wanted to text back a nice big “FUCK YOU”, but there was something about going to his house that made you shudder in anticipation. You honestly should be mad at him, what he did was kind of shitty, but he did say he just wanted to explain his side. You could at least give him that, and if you didn’t like the answer? You could go on your merry way. 

Sucking in a breath, you would text back a swift “Fine” and save his number in your phone. Biting the inside of your cheek, you would grab your coffee and bag, leaving the coffee shop and heading back home. Your mind would swarm with ideas of why he bailed on you.Could have been because he didn’t want to get in trouble? No.. that couldn’t be it, or else you wouldn’t have suked his cock in the fucking library. 

Maybe he was running late for something? That couldn’t be either, he wouldn’t have waited two fucking days to tell you if it was as simple as that. 

These thoughts swarmed your head the rest of the day, you found yourself zoning out more while you were at home. You had intended to get ready at least a little bit, deep down, you still had feelings for him, you wanted to look nice. 

You settled on something simple, black leggings and plain black hoodie. Boring, but at least it looked like you tried somewhat. Brushing your hair out, you would reapply the makeup you had on for the day to make it look more fresh before grabbing your bag and heading out. You chose to walk to his place, it wasn’t super far and honestly? You just needed to get your thoughts in check before you saw him. 

At this point, you really didn’t know what to expect with this encounter. Honestly, just an apology would suffice for you. 

What went from taking it slow to gather your thoughts, to quickly pacing down the street and wanting to get it over with. You couldn’t shake the gut feeling that something bad was going to happen. What exactly? Your heart is broken into a million pieces. 

Nearing the address, you would swallow your worries and take a deep breath and near the door, giving it two firm knocks before stepping back. Biting your lip, you checked your phone, he didn’t really give you a time, so you figured this was okay, right? 

The door opening snapped you out of your thoughts, looking up you’d see a tired face staring back at you. It was weird seeing Mr. Aizawa in casual clothing.. The male wore simple black sweats, and a black v-neck tee. The shoulder length raven locks that usually caressed his face were tied back into a half bun. Honestly, you liked this look better, he looked content and comfortable. “Come in, Y/N” he would say, stepping aside for you. 

Swallowing dryly, you would nod your head and walk inside, just stopping past the door so he could direct you where to go, but he didn’t. Rubbing the back of his neck, he seemed on edge “Listen” he stated quietly before meeting your gaze “I know you’ve of age now, and I’m no longer your teacher, but what happened in the library was a mistake” he said out in a stern tone. 

You would stare at him for a long moment before shuddering and glancing downwards “You.. decided that after you face fucked me?” you’d say in a hoarse tone, you were seconds away from choking out a sob, but you tried your best to keep a straight face, trying to seem like it didn’t matter to you. 

“Y/N.. I am your former teacher, I’m not a good man- Look what I’ve already done to you. It would never work” he admitted. That alone finally made a few tears escape and start to run down your cheek, carrying a tint of black because of your makeup “You.. came to me, there is no denying that you feel something for me” you’d mutter out, knowing very well that if you looked up and spoke at a normal tone, you would completely break down. 

You didn’t notice his face soften, but it did “I feel nothing for you, Y/N.. I’m sorry, what I did to you was extremely shitty and that’s why I wanted to call you over here. To apologize in person and be forward with you that there will never be an ‘us’” he said, stepping forward, causing you to immediately step back to keep that distance. You had no words right now, you didn’t think that Shouta would be capable of doing something so scummy. Finally looking up, you would let out a loud sob “Back in highschool, you were the only one that I trusted.. The only one I felt cared about me” you said in between your large gasps.

Aizawa looked so distant, like he had emotionally shut himself off “I-.. I’m sorry again, Y/N” he said one last time. 

Wrapping your arm around your own waist, you would hold it and gasp for air.. Out of all the time to have an anxiety attack, it had to be now. “Y/N? Are you okay?..” Shouta was quick to ask, reaching his arm out in case you were to fall forward. Rather than answering, you would quickly push past him and open the door and stumble out. As soon as you cleared the stairs, you would break out into a run, your legs threatening to give out, but you’d power through it. “Y/N!” the deep voice called behind you, and before you could process what happened, you’d feel a firm grip on your wrist. Spinning around your eyes would meet with Shouta’s that was now filled with concern “Please let me take you home, it’s late and you are not in the right mind-” he was cut off when you roughly pushed him away, causing both of you to stumble. 

Staring at you with wide eyes, he would reach out once more in attempts to calm you down, but you would once again quickly turn and start to run, and you didn’t intend on stopping until you were home. 

Black was messily running down your face as you sobbed, getting in your eyes and blurring your vision worse.

Shouta stood in place, staring at your body as it got smaller the further it got. 

“Fuck..”