#this was supposed to be a cute xmas book
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LUKA????????????????????????
#this was supposed to be a cute xmas book#title; lovelight farms#author; b. k. borison#status; currently reading#lovelight farms#b. k. borison
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Ok when I reblogged this last night, I picked 3rd because that’s what I’ve heard, but I also said maybe a little bit #4? Because at the time I thought ‘well something not really mattering to you = a sort of rejection” so I was a little confused as to how they were separate options?
And then when I woke up and I saw this I remembered that the ‘rejection’ idea was an antisemitic talking point. As in supposedly you saw the undeniable truth of Jesus and were like nah.
So I’m not sure how else it could’ve been worded - it was quickly visible to me after a good night’s sleep - but I wonder how many other people were thinking similarly to me when they picked #4, and how many are genuinely antisemitic. But I hope there’s just a lot of confused people.
#culturally Christian#I’m kind of agnostic but I do swear pretty religiously and kind of believe in Jesus and such just sort of out a habit. like if something#more convincing comes along I’ll go with that but currently I just have trouble with the idea the universe started spontaneously#I imagine more that there’s a higher figure and he’s been running experiments on an infinite amount of universe#like multiverse theory where every little decision splits the timeline etc#and occasionally he throws in stimulae like prophecies or small bits of him so that he can see what will happen#if something good happens to#me that I had no control over#like a free parking space or meeting a dog by chance#I send a kiss up to him just because I kind of want my thanks distributed but I don’t know to who? so I figure if he’s an honest guy#he’ll do other people favors too#also every time I see a dead animal on the side of the road I send it a kiss because i fervently wish that they died instantly and are#up in heaven and never have to worry about anything again#but otherwise yeah#my family stopped going to church when I was 4#I just remember liking to play with the holy water you were supposed to put on your forehead#and also the church had a really nice low stone wall that I liked to hold onto my mom or dad’s hands as I walked along the top#they’re divorced (not the catalyst to lack of church) so it was always either one or the other#my grandmother gave me a children’s bible and we still celebrate Christmas#so I know a lot of stories from#the kids bible I was given had a lot of bible stories in it and i enjoyed reading it but it felt like an anthology/book of fairy tales to me#more than anything. and ofc when I was little I heard lots of Christmas star#stories both secular and religious. I avoid Christmas media mostly as an adult because it’s so overblown but I figure I’ll share it with my#kids. my favorite Christmas movie of all time is about a cow who wants to become one of Santa’s reindeer and fly. it’s called#Annabelle’s wish it’s pretty cute. I think it falls under a secular Xmas movie but I haven’t watched it in a bit#we also celebrate Easter but I think that’s more because my mom really likes compiling the baskets of candy and spring themed stuff#and of course the Christian channels were always free whenever my family couldn’t afford ‘better’ tv. I enjoyed them but preferred pbs kids#because they were less preachy about their morals and I was more familiar with them.#oh also when I make I wish I address it to god out of habit.#about to run out of rags but whatever. my favorite religious swear that definitely pisses people off is ‘Jesus Christ on a pogo stick’
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Could I ask for a little Christmas special with Tachi x Fem!reader? With smut, the cherry on the cake could not be missing. Ñakañaka👀
<HAHAHA CANT BELIEVE IVE GOT A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL REQ,,, keep in mind i dont celebrate xmas so im pullin out a lot of clichés and i'm assuming it's a stereotypical northern hemisphere winter vibe just for funsies. ñakañaka to you too, dear reader>
"by the fireplace"
⫭◦⨝◦⫬
tachihara michizou x fem! reader {christmas special}
warnings: nsfw ; fingering ; cockwarming ; soft sex ; ooc tachihara bc i can ; playful cursing ; intended lowercase ; unedited as always
stupid. you are stupid.
stupid for getting so excited around the holidays. for using your day off to prepare your painfully small studio apartment with a bunch of decorations bought from the local store, anything that was cheap and shiny. you expertly coordinated the colours, the theme and the shapes, putting up zigzags of fluffy green boas on the walls of your kitchen and swirls of red streamers in your living room. you couldn't afford a christmas tree both financially and space-wise, so you took your local houseplants, covered them in random cut-out figures and makeshift ornaments, then allocated a small corner in their honour. it was cute, but there was no one to share it with.
stupid for getting your hopes up. you hadn't spoken to your boyfriend in so long, hadn't received a response to all your lovesick voice messages or texts, telling him how much you missed him and how badly you wanted him back home. chances are that the number you were contacting had gotten tossed, thrown in the garbage on a mission that was too high-risk for him to compromise your safety. it was worse when you thought about the fact that he was doing this for you; sometimes you wanted to track him down, show up to wherever he was spying and kiss him numb in front of whoever he was supposed to be infiltrating.
stupid for baking cookies. they were really good too— you picked whatever recipe online that you could find and made 2 dozen of them. you ate half, music playing on your speaker, sitting down on your sofa all alone. you wished you'd have someone to share them with.
the cold outside made this holiday season all the more unbearable, with the delicate snowflakes whisking around the frigid air outside. you were safe inside, snuggled up by the fireplace with a book and a blanket, but feeling incredibly lonely.
"you've probably tossed this burner phone by now..." you couldn't resist the temptation and pulled out your phone in order to leave him another voicemail, "but michi, baby, I miss you. I know I'm supposed to love all this me time or whatever, but... fuck, I made cookies and all I wanna do is stuff them in your beautiful face. man, I've gone crazy, haven't I? anyways... I miss you. I love you. I just hope you're safe and come home soon."
you had to get your mind off of things. you had to do something, anything to get out of your head. you were off work, but you didn't have the mind to concentrate on any activities at home by yourself, and all your friends were busy with family and loved ones.
you decided to go for a walk outside, in the freezing cold snow.
it did wonders for your head. you didn't even have your headphones in, which was odd, but instead listened to everything around. you snuggled further into your coat, told yourself that you should've worn more layers, been more prepared for the cold, but it was refreshing nonetheless. you didn't keep track of the time, instead visiting every corner of your neighborhood and just strolling around as you pleased. by the time your nose felt like it was going to freeze off, you were approaching the entrance of the building.
someone was at the door, in a familiar army-green coat with beige fur around the collar. you nearly tripped over yourself running over to the figure, excitement louder in your mind than the fear of accidentally trapping the wrong person in a bear hug.
to your surprise, you didn't hug a person at all. you were hugging a floating jacket that seemed to be carrying all its weight at four spots where small metal clips were positioned. you yanked the coat off of the clips, relishing in the faint smell of your lover, only pulled out of your happiness by a cold impact on your back.
you turned around to look at the son of a bitch who threw a snowball at you.
"aren't you cold?" you chuckled, seeing tachihara in only his v-neck long sleeved shirt you would tease him about and say looked like that of a school girl. "taking off your coat just 'cause you're dramatic as hell."
"you're spunky for someone who left me about a million sappy voicemails in the past week," he retorted in a sassy tone. despite the words exchanged, you dropped his jacket on the snow and ran over to him like you were a housewife waiting for him to come back from war, which you might as well have been. he caught you hurling your body at him and gave you a twirl around while you giggled and peppered his face in kisses.
when he finally set you down, you had your hands wrapped around the back of his neck, his on your hips, and you pulled him in to feel his lips on yours. "you really are dramatic as hell."
"and you love me." his gloved hand balanced your chin on his curled index finger and brought you back in for another kiss. "m'sorry I was gone for so long this time."
you shook your head, holding him tighter as if he would dissipate and float away if you let go. "you're here now. that's all I care about." your grip tightened and you hopped up so that you could wrap your legs around his hips. "now carry me inside and make it up to me."
"oh, she's demanding, ain't she?" he chuckled, holding you up by your thighs. "I haven't even been back more than two seconds and I'm getting ordered 'round."
"shut up, you know you love it," you giggled, trying to climb off of him so you could walk into your home but his grip was firm and he didn't seem intent on letting you go. "baby, I was joking, you can put me down now."
"hm? if ya say so."
and he tossed you onto the ground.
you weren't expecting that, but laughed in the snow as you processed what he'd just done. in retaliation, you kicked out his ankles and he collapsed right next to you. obviously, you both knew that he could've dodged it, but he let himself fall by your side and lay his arm across your waist. he shivered, his barely covered torso coming in direct contact with the cold snow while snowflakes fluttered onto his lashes and hair. he laughed again as he rolled onto you, trapping you under his weight while you looked up at him dreamily.
"I missed you," you whispered seriously, saying those words for the thousandth time today, "a lot. I'm glad you're back."
he struggled to formulate a response, blush almost as red as the tips of his frozen ears or his hair, instead letting his body drop onto you and kiss you on the forehead. "I missed you more than you could ever imagine. almost got caught daydreamin' about you a few times on the mission."
"is that so?" you perked up a brow, amused. tachihara finally got off of you, offering his hand to help you up while the other brushed off the melting wetness on his back and knees. "what kind of daydreams?"
he pulled you up once you took his hand, leading you inside the apartment building while he shook his head to loosen the water droplets at the tips of his hair— almost like a dog. he leaned into your ear and whispered, "the kind I can't say out loud."
"how 'bout a more visual description, then?" you offered innocently, and he chuckled. once you reached the front door, you'd completely forgotten all of the loneliness you'd been feeling when you'd initially left. you barely made it inside the entrance when he had your back pressed against your decorated walls, knee slotted in between your legs and lips back on yours.
you took off your jacket and other garments, trying to toss them in the closet without breaking the kiss. only, once you'd finally kicked off your boots, you remembered his jacket.
"fuck, it's still outside, my bad," you murmured against him, "should I go back down and get it?"
"no need, just open up a window."
you did as he asked while he got settled, warming up by the fireplace and munching on the now cooled-down baked goods. the place still smelled like the sugar cookies, so he commented on how incredibly festive it all seemed. you just shrugged and said you had free time, but quickly admitted you were a little lonely lately. he noticed your frown and unconsciously mimicked it.
"anyways, are you gonna tell me why I'm opening a window when it's freezing outside?" you asked, turning towards him.
"close your eyes," he instructed. you felt a twinge of excitement as you complied.
a few moments later, you heard some clattering outside. barely resisting the urge to peek, you stole a quick look outside and saw the floating jacket, again. you rolled your eyes, placed a hand on your hip and scolded him for acting so melodramatic again. he just chuckled, but his laugh was enough to get your heart thawing out. he brought it inside and you closed the window behind it, but told him to levitate it to the closet. meanwhile, you had to drag him to the bedroom to get him to change out of his soaking wet clothes.
you watched him pull his damp shirt over his head while you got yourself comfortable on the bed. with his torso bare, you stared just a little too long at him, shamelessly, and tsked when he reached for the drawer for a replacement.
"hey, I'm still fuckin' frozen," he explained himself, but you jumped up and grabbed his wrist to stop him from putting anything on.
"we have a fireplace for that reason, love," you retorted.
that was just an excuse to get him naked for you in any way you could, and he let it happen. you cuddled with him on the sofa, his head buried in between your tits with your hands roaming all over his skin. under the covers, you got greedy and began sliding your hands under his pants. he let you take them off, but took your shirt off as well. heavy breathing into his mouth distracted you from skilled fingertips tugging off your pants next.
"I... mmm..." you hummed softly against him as you let him pull you on top of him. you sat down on him, legs parted on both sides and throbbing in between them hard to control. "haven't felt you... in so long..."
it was a request, and he knew it. your fingers couldn't do the trick, not once you had gotten used to his own, skilled and rough and so knowledgeable in understanding every spot and nook that could have you sighing on his knuckles. and he was just that; knuckle-deep in your soaking pussy as you spasmed around his fingers and felt him curl them around inside your walls.
"someone missed me a lot," he remarks with a smug grin while he looked at your eyes tightened shut and jaw slacked open as you rode his hand. you placed your hand on his neck, both steadying yourself so you could fuck yourself harder on his hand and choking him lightly so he would shut the fuck up.
you lowered your chest so you could kiss him heatedly through the fingerfucking, and whispered sweet nothings in his lips while occasionally gasping and panting for air.
"still cold?" you asked cheekily in his ear, licking around the shell and biting down on his earlobe. "or d'you want me to sit on that pretty cock of yours?"
he really was frozen; you felt his frigid skin as you pulled down his boxers and his cock sprung free, familiar pulsating as he grunted through the sensation. you lowered yourself onto him, slow and relishing in his pleasurable whimpers, and rocked into him even slower. it was just the two of you, by the fireplace, gently fucking while you smothered him in kisses.
you couldn't have asked for a better christmas present this year.
#not my best work + smut was rushed but ehh i had to rush to get it out before christmas#was this 🤏 close to publishing it after new year's and being like “erm ackshually i thought u meant orthodox christmas”#listened to christmas music to get myself in the vibe and everything too be proud of me anon who requested this 🥺#tachihara michizou#bsd tachihara#tachihara x reader#bungo stray dogs tachihara#tachihara smut#tachihara michizou x reader#bsd x reader#bungou stray dogs#bsd#tachihara x reader smut#bsd christmas#bsd christmas special#bsd x reader christmas#tachihara x reader christmas#down bad tm#tachi fics#im unwell for them
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|| have you guys thought what to give other muses as xmas gifts yet??? I've been thinking hard what Green can gift people.... he's supposed to be very good at gift giving....
that said if you wanna give him a gift but doesn't know what, here's his santa claus list:
Hair and Skin Products (preferably vegan)
Sunglasses
Fashionate clothes in general, specially white, black or green
Science/Biology books
anything with a trans flag or its colors
Masculine parfum & similar
Stuff for his pokémon, specially if he can match them
Spa tickets or similar
handmade anything!!
Mug with "BEST PROFESSOR" or other corny stuff
A good pokémon battle
Food, specially sweets, vegetarian only though
A date if you're cute <3
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yena you mentioned secret Santa and lit today someone at work suggested secret santa too and I freaking got one of my 50 year old bosses 💀 help what do I even get her lmaooo as if work hasn't been stressful enough and we're supposed to exchange the gifts during our company Christmas dinner next week. lord who allowed me to be an adult I swear 😭😭😭
I was feeling super stressed so I went to my favorite bookstore and I got myself some cute christmas books (to hopefully read during Christmas break) and I immediately felt better and then I remembered you wrote that svt with a bookworm partner so I reread that while having coffee and a sweet treat and felt even better so long story short crisis avoided 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
my asks are always a rambling mess lmao when you answer them I reread what I wrote and I sound like an enthusiastic toddler JFFJ
- 🍒
STOP OH MY GOD WORKPLACE SECRET SANTA 😭😭😭 good luck with the present for ur boss bro that's actually so difficult,,,,, honestly literally Who decided on secret santa traditions with people u barely know tho like???? literally insane????? what if i get the Wrong Thing bc i genuinely know nothing about you and you think im being an ass???????? crazy. wishing u the best cherry anon and i am Cheering You On ok
ooh cute christmas books r sooooo nice tho omg!! gonna be honest tho i don't actually own any cute christmas books,,,, the only xmas novels i own are this collection of christmas horror stories my eng lit teacher bought for me LMAO so not very cutesy at all 💀 glad that u managed to feel better after buying the books and having something sweet tho!!!! 🥰 and Ofc my hcs r always here to cheer u up no matter what you're going thru 🫡
hshfjdj i honestly love ur asks sm likeeee it's like getting weekly mail from my long distance bestie 🫶 u could be talking about the silliest most mundane things and ill punch the air and go yes!!!!!! i have mail!!!!!!!!! every time i see your asks LMAO
#fairyhaos.answers#🍒.anon <3#i am currently in. THREE different secret sabtas rn so i am feeling the pressure threefold#it's bot looking good tbh. i might judt buy candles and essential oils for everyone. hopefully bo one is allergic
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It feels kinda weird, like sacrilegious or something, to go from working on my 13 cherimaho au, which doesn’t have smut yet but will, straight to reading the CDD novel, especially when I’m reading a Mima or Hayate chapter. I mean, 13 just are soft and pure in general, even when I was writing a magical girl au that I figured would be at least somewhat crack, it ended up being like really sweet, fluffy smut (still gotta finish that), but still. Mima picked up an umbrella with a cute, pink, kitty paw cap on the end last chapter. An employee at Harinezumi Books just called Souma an angel a few pages ago. That’s, like, a whole different level of pure.
Anyway, I don’t remember how long the main part of cherimaho spanned even though I literally just watched the anime a couple weeks ago, but I figure four months for this would probably be fine? Hayate’s just started working out his non-platonic feelings for Mima and that he’s probably gay, so Mima doesn’t get any non-platonic thoughts from him for a while since it’s mostly just, like, panic/stress when they’re related to that. And then Mima himself has never really been interested in anyone and is still just thinking the right woman will simply come along someday, is completely unconcerned, has never even considered he might not be into women, and he’s used to the gals who confess to him only liking him for shallow reasons, so after he realizes Hayate actually likes him, it still takes time for him to work out whether he simply likes being properly liked or if he returns Hayate’s feelings, plus there’s the whole needing to figure out how to tell Hayate about his ability. So four months is probably fine? (What is time)
But also, you know what’s four months, one week, and one day after Mima’s birthday? Valentine’s Day. Cliché, I know, but I didn’t want to do xmas or New Year’s. Although with xmas being very much a couple’s holiday in Japan, I suppose that’s not any less cliché… (still don’t like it though)
#i've got a lot of the broad strokes worked out#and then the entire opening section (5 paragraphs; it's not that impressive)#but not much more than that#well i did just start on it#it was born bc i've been reading cherimaho fic#hmm i don't really wanna tag this…#ebw.op
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[enter sarah stage left] as prommied, thee emojis!!!!! 😈😈🥰😆i hope you are doing well mein bröth-lovied!!! 🫂💜💜 i have a fun fact for you.. i am on the PRECIPICE of starting the op anime! :3 anticipating it changing me Entire Life ngl!
rambling aside, my questions for you are!!! 🎵🙃🧸🧡🦖🔮🌿
SARAAAHHH!!!!!!! 💖💖💖 my saturday has been GREAT bc i have done nothing but hang around the house all day... truly awesome stuff, i am so relaxed <3 but NOW IM YELLING AND CLIMBING ON THE WALLS BC MY BELOVIED.... IF U START ONEPIECE... U WILL NEVER KNOW PEACE AGAIN AND THAT IS A THREAT I MAKE WITH ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD 💥💖💥💖💥💖💥💖💥💖💥
OK OK CENTERING MYSELF. OK. emojis lets GO!!!!!!!
🎵 Last song you listened to? To Someone From A Warm Climate (Uiscefhuarithe) by Hozier!!!! been blasting Unreal Unearth in anticipation of the upcoming concert hehehehe >:3 it's SUCH a gorgeous song AGH.... ngl it lowkey.. reminds me of u... literally only bc u are, in fact,,. Someone From A Warm Climate LOL 😆😆
🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know? u might already know this, but!!! sloths can, in fact, hold their breath for up to 40 minutes 😎
🧸 Favorite place to nap? honestly i nap SO rarely that i don't think i could properly claim any place as my favorite 😅 the only places i've napped have been my bed or my couch? so those i guess LMAO
🧡 A color you can’t stand? AGH... but i love so many colorss.... hmm..... i suppose, i'm not a huge fan of super bright neons? they tend to hurt my eyes... thats all i can think of ngl colors i love u!!!!!!!!!!!!
🦖 Favorite extinct animal? ACK i can't believe i asked u this w/o having a good answer myself!!! hmm.... i'd say, any Super Big Guys that went extinct a while ago, i think it'd be SO COOL to have really giant elephants or megalodons or those big dudes from the ice age movies (Paraceratherium!!!!) still around. AND GIANT BUGS... DUDE... GIANT ISOPODS...... they're so cool and epic AGH
🔮 What’s your dream job? i want to make my own original webcomics!!!!! and write books!!!!! in like, an ideal beautiful world where i don't have debilitating adhd and also burnout doesn't exist 😅🙈🤪
🌿 Describe your favorite outfit. OH GOOD Q... hmm, probably my super-baggy jeans (they have like 6 pockets its GREAT ngl they're basically denim cargo pants) and this lovely golden-yellow sweatshirt i got for xmas, it's merch for the webtoon Muted by Miranda Mundt!!!!! it's super comfy and warm and cute <3 for warmer weather i have a fav pair of denim shorts, and honestly i love wearing a sleeveless shirt and a sports bra, it's so comfy... u will NOT catch me in sleeves unless it's below 45F 😤
#YAAYAY THESE WERE SO FUN!!!!!!!!! tysm for sending them i am firing my beam of 100000 kissies at u 💖💖💖💖💖#ask
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Advent Statement 8 - Flirting with Death
And now we get to full off the rails mode HA. This one is the one that had the most reshuffles, rewrites, full reworks of them all, and I ended up losing my full week of buffer time trying to wrangle this one into a semblance of A Shape.
So it ended up extremely indulgent OC nonsense, as you do when you’re a week before Xmas with four more statements to write and the energy of a particularly exhausted pinecone.
This one I think has the most warnings out of any of them, so please take note.
CWs: Canon Typical Violence, Canon Typical the Stranger Content, suicide (more than one), skinning, main character death, flagrant disregard for the End
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They were skinning me, you know. Rather gruesome, isn't it? Oh no no, I'm not upset about it, just, it really is something to see yourself peeled. I think they're more upset about me than I am, to be honest! They tried so hard to get me, even made this body and stuffed it all nice, but who could have expected that my years of flirting with death would end like this?
Oh you're curious. Archivists are so cute. All those questions on your tongue, I can almost taste them myself. Probably could if you gave me a kiss. I'm very good. To die for.
Haha, oh, I'm not sorry. You're kind of cute, you know? No no, I’ll behave, don’t fret.
Hm hm, how do we begin? The beginning would be a good point, yes?
I met my first Death when I was a teen.
Those years are a little hazy, what with all the depression and doom and gloom of, you know, being gay in a very Catholic family and looking forward to my eternal damnation, so it wasn't really that surprising to anyone who paid any attention when I tried to End myself. I took my first time very seriously; I was alone and I had looked up the best ways to do it, but I wasn’t fond of blood, so I went for an overdose. Really can’t recommend, I mean, who could have guessed that dying feels so miserable? I took a little comfort in the fact that at least my corpse would be pretty as I imagined laying there in the big old cathedral, desecrating it with my presence one last time, and then I saw Death.
Skeletal, dressed in, hm… Well I can’t recall it, so it must have been appropriately bland and thematic. They’ve all got terrible fashion, you know. I remember staring at them with a vague sort of interest; mostly I just hoped that Hell would be nicer than the description, since this kind of confirmed that some of the bullshit was real? I realized they were speaking, but I couldn’t quite hear them as I laid there, as the seconds stretched into an eternity as I died. They must have run out of patience and decided to off me, but when their bony hands reached for me they just passed through me - annnd then I blinked and I was in the hospital. And I was very alive, though I absolutely felt like chewed up garbage.
Maybe I should have gotten existential over seeing Death come for me, but, hahah. I figured since I’d not literally been smote walking into church, even when I did visit after my attempted suicide, I kind of wrote it and the whole Death thing up as a hallucination and forgot about it. I’d joke about it in truth or dare, that kind of thing, but mostly my friends just called me a bullshitter.
I didn’t have to deal with any of this again until I got a job at a funny, funny little place. I’d thoroughly disgraced myself by that point, or my family depending on who you asked and how much you care about boys kissing boys, so I’d ended up disowned/traveling and, aha, who could have expected such a fancy institution would be willing to take in someone like me? Oh I know why he hired me now, but at the time I was just thrilled to have an actual Income and thought taking care of ‘artifacts’ would be intimidating but relaxing. I imagined a lot of moisture controlled air and gloves and dusting, and, well, I suppose two of those were right.
Nobody had bothered to tell me about the book-that-kills-you until I’d found it outside its shelf. It wasn't in the orientation, which was really an oversight. It’s not like it was labeled ‘book-that-kills-you, do not touch!’ So I picked it up, and it killed me. Nice and straightforward like.
And there I was, laying on the floor as my heart did something Upsetting, and there came Death again! It was a different one this time and I remember it; this skeleton wore sweatpants, and it immediately reached for me. Terrible at their job. Impatient when they’ve really got all the time in the world. Their loss. I’d kind of wanted to chat this time, but I figured anyone who wore sweatpants to their big important Death job probably wasn’t someone who’d be a good conversationalist.
Then I woke up in a hospital again which surprised everyone involved, especially because I did wake up in the morgue and it was all very, very exciting. Everyone at work was also very surprised! The book-that-kills-you hadn’t managed the job, which was a first, and so my wonderful, slimy little man of a boss put me in charge of all the flavors of books-that-kill-you. And gave me a raise. That was a plus.
The first thing I did was label all the books-that-kill-you. I included methods! Not personally researched of course; I flirted with death, I didn’t call its number all day long. There were records, so I used them. It really cut down on requests for the books when people could read in nice, lovely detail exactly what it would liquefy in what order. I got them a nice, enclosed shelf, with nice little alcoves for each of them and three separate locks with three separate keys and I took very good care of all the sweet little darlings.
Such good care that when it came time for the HR suggested non-denominational holiday party, my dearest, darlingest boss got me a free weekend spa trip gift certificate. It included a massage and an exquisite skin treatment and the gift basket it came in had some wonderful lotions.
He was testing me, you know. He was curious, so, so curious, especially since the books weren’t doing a great job of killing me again, so he outsourced.
I was very excited for my weekend spa trip.
It was even in a very cute building! There was nothing off putting at all about the outside, and so the doors had already swung shut with that cheery little jingle before I felt the chill up my spine. Everyone at the desk was very nice, but also. Hm. Well, ahaha, they were a little strange, and I’d had enough time around my job that it seemed very sensible that the first thing I asked was if this was a murder spa, and they were delighted to inform me that yes, yes it was and they did so hope I would be satisfied with their services.
This was objectively a bad answer, but they all had very nice skin and I really did want to try out their treatments, so I sighed, said that sounded about right, and asked if my gift certificate was still valid since I’d, you know, mentioned the murdering.
And then I thought about it and said no, actually, could you bill my boss for the full amount?
How about, I said, I come back in and we start from the top? I won’t mention the murdering, and we can have ourselves a fun little weekend? We can upgrade to deluxe. Like an escape room where you give me a manicure and have real knives and I run from you in a cute little bathrobe.
They liked that a lot. So, that’s what we did. I walked back out, closed the door, and popped back in and complimented them on their nails, which really were very well done.
This might have been a slight miscalculation.
See, it made me fun, and made them fond of me, made them want to keep trying outside of just natural murderousness. It definitely did not stop them from killing me, but see, ahaha. I was really very bad at dying. How did they do it? This wasn’t the skinning, no. See they were rather playful with me for the first, mmm… five times? It wasn’t until we hit ten and kept counting that they got deadly serious about it; I think it was a matter of pride, then. But ah, the spa… I think I may have racked up a couple deaths honestly, but I remember having a lovely massage, if you ignored the blood and horrors - which I did not because they were putting on a show and it was only polite to be appropriately terrified - and as I lay immobilized on the table, feeling those too-stiff fingers work at my muscles, slowly, deliberately up my back and to my neck, her fingers cradled my throat so tenderly before she snapped my neck like a twig. Quite quick and polite!
It kept my skin quite flawless. They wanted it nice and whole and undamaged for one of them to wear!
But it didn’t stick.
Have you ever seen a desperately confused mannequin pretending to be a person look at you with fear? She had lovely makeup and very well done eyelashes, but when I got up from the table she’d just killed me on and thanked her for the excellent massage, she, hahah, oh, poor girl. She called her boss. They thought I was an, you used 'avatar' I think?, messing with them and got rather more murdery for a bit, including having one of the two big guys strangle me as I waited for my facial, but none of them worked for long. It was probably supposed to be very traumatizing, but after the first one I spent the weekend in a very pleasant post-death haze and really felt very relaxed and floaty. Like a pleasant dissociation?
My skin was glowing by the time I left on Sunday and I smelled of nothing but sweet lavender atop the blood and I could hear some very intense phone conversations happening behind me as I drifted on out, which I could swear got even louder and maybe even panicked as I heard a ‘thud’ right before the door closed, and then I met my Death.
His name is not Dr. Death but I really think he should consider it. He’s, ahaha, drop dead gorgeous honestly!
Anyway, I recognized the exact look on his face because he had a face and I had seen that expression many times over the weekend, and it was precisely an astonished, bewildered “why is he not dead?” and a moment, maybe, where he debated trying his hand at it.
It was kind of thrilling! I felt like someone had called the sexy manager to deal with me, and I was still rather out of it, so I laughed and held out my hand to him.
Your turn? I asked with a wink, and he went from confused to utterly bemused, and did, in fact, take my hand.
He was very cold, and the second his skin met mine, it felt like I snapped back into myself. And then he asked me, looking very intensely at our joined hands, if anyone like him had ever offered me a game?
I took this to mean any skeletons even though he wasn't one himself and told him no, but I hadn't quite heard what the first one had said, so maybe they did! He was very interested in this, and then said he’d see me ‘next time’ and walked away, looking from me to something I couldn’t see inside the spa as he left.
And, well. Then I went home! I don’t think my weekend really sank in until I got through my front door and took off my jacket and then I had myself a little breakdown, and also decided I was going to find out if my boss knew it was a murder spa and, if he did, I was going to put every book-that-kills-you related to bugs in his office and lock the door.
He did Know about the spa, but he did not Know about my little plan. They regrettably did not kill him, but at least the bugs wrecked his nice jacket.
Really, the murder spa was one of the nicer places. My survival only seemed to encourage whatever deal my boss and my new murderous acquaintances had, because every single work party and gift giveaway, I got a new gift certificate. I’ve probably been to every strange place in London by now; do you think they’d like it if I left reviews on them? Oh I really should. The natural history museum they have is a delight. Such life-like taxidermies. Looked just like the real thing as they hunted me down! They even let out the archaeopteryx they’d made! Absolutely terrifying and such a creative use of parts!
I saw my Death that time too! It was a messier death for me and I was quite embarrassed to be seen with my guts all over the floor, but he was a gentleman about it. He knelt down and watched with rapt fascination as my blood and organs oozed everywhere, until I said he could at least take me to dinner first, and I remember very well what he said to me, because well, now that I know, I can’t blame him.
He said, “Do you know what I see? I see the End trying to claim you. Wrapped so thickly around you I can barely see your skin, tangled around your intestines like a skein even now, but it can’t… grasp you. Somehow, you just keep slipping through, and so it…” He looked away, following the strands I couldn’t see. “And so it grasps what it can.”
I remember him smiling, and I think my heart stuttered.
“Don’t touch him when you wake up.”
It must have been enthralling to see. I can’t blame him for staring and staring and grinning until my vision got very spotty when he reached out to touch either my ripped stomach or the tendrils, and his fingers stroked my flesh. I woke up in a pool of my own blood, with my stomach only slightly sore, and his coat draped over my exposed body.
I took it as a ‘no’ on dinner. I- oh that’s right! I was very upset about this, so I did burn down that museum. Have to cross it off the review list, then. It’s fine: the curator was already dead when I found him splayed on his office floor, so nobody was hurt. I stepped very carefully around him as I poured the gasoline! After all, Dr. Death told me not to touch ‘him,’ and while I’m not 100% sure on mannequin or whatever he was gender, I think he was a he so I played it safe.
Our playdates got a little more, mm, aggressive after that! Spas, museums, a couple very impressive gymnastic and theater performances, a fair that came through a town I just happened to be visiting that weekend, and more scattered conversations with Dr. Death. He only ever showed up when I was probably supposed to be dying, and I think he said it was because he was not actually there; that this was something like a dream I entered, my brain desperately struggling against the End, and he just grew more and more fascinated as those tendrils continued to slide away from my skin to somewhere else. To someone else.
Oh yes, he told me that. He was very curious that it seemed to always land on one of the avatars that had to do with my death, and yet it appeared I had no say in exactly who they would entangle and smother. I couldn’t see them. Couldn’t interact with them in any way. As my deaths piled up though, I began to feel them.
By the seventh, they were ghosts brushing against me, light as feathers.
By the twelth, I heaved through the ethanol burning its way through my flesh and eating away at my stomach as I lay sprawled in a dark warehouse beside my kidnapping/hostage chair, but I could feel the cold, cold touch coiled tight and real around my throat. Slick and, well, terrifying! Like ice as I felt it leave residue behind on my skin, as I wretched and cried and really felt fear in a way I never had before in these dreams. I thought I really would die that time. So did he.
They were so tight. So inescapable. So much worse than ropes. I think he really enjoyed watching me struggle against that relentless thing that was so, so eager to claim me at last. His eyes were so bright, his breathing faster than usual as he brushed the hair off my clammy forehead. When the familiar cut to black didn’t happen at his touch, we both knew it. I’ll never forget the way he smiled, then. That I, this strange, slippery little thing that had dodged the inevitable for so long, would finally be properly entangled. He was enraptured, and I’d never seen him look so gorgeous.
I couldn't speak, but I could move my arms, so I did. I grabbed at my Death's fancy coat and pulled him in and he let me kiss him. We'd danced around it every time, and I thought if this was it, well. I could at least get a kiss. It was not pretty or delicate. I was actually flattered he let me do it, since, well. I was a little disgusting at the time, but when I gagged again, he just pet my hair and then, ah. Then he kissed my forehead, so softly, so tenderly.
His hands cradled my cheeks, and, mm. Then it got a little awkward, because quite suddenly, I was back in my apartment. It was morning. I had the worst hangover of my life, and could still feel the cold, lingering touch of his lips on my forehead and I felt like an absolute scumbag.
‘Hey sorry, really thought I was actually dying there, I swear I wasn’t leading you on!’
‘Hey we still cool after that fake out haha?’
I would have texted him if he’d ever thought to give me his number on any of the numerous occasions I asked, but the intense chill that closed around my body seconds after I stumbled up from the couch made me realize I wouldn’t have to. It felt like him, so I assumed it was.
“I promise I didn’t do anything,” I said to the cold air, and felt it clench around my throat. I swallowed, and kept talking. “I thought I was going to die just as much as you did.”
It just clenched harder. Hard enough for me to wheeze as I breathed through it, and a thought popped into my head.
“What if next time,” I gasped. “What if next time, you offer me a game? What if that’s the reason I can’t die right? What if that first Death offered me a game but never followed through, and something got all messed up?”
It felt like an age, but the pressure let up. He’d agreed. We both knew there’d be a next time - both knew the Strangers must have been absolutely furious, however the hell I’d managed to wriggle free, and it would be thoroughly unpleasant when they got me next. I think that’s the only reason my Death calmed down. He couldn’t kill me either, through whatever stupid rules lawyering I’d gotten tangled in, but he could be patient.
He didn’t have to wait long. I didn’t even go anywhere that time.
The Strangers came to me, and didn’t give me a single chance to run.
They lashed me down the second they dragged me through the warehouse door. In under a minute, they had my skin bared, and that horrible, crescent-shaped knife began to cut.
They began to skin me alive and conscious, and I could feel so, so many horrible glass eyes watching me as they did it. As the worst pain I’d ever felt made me scream into the gag in my mouth, as I felt them tug it off, piece by piece, and that cold swarmed in to fill the bloody holes.
When I realized the room was oddly silent, I could barely even lull my head to the side to see Dr. Death standing there, eyes bright and firm as he held out - a revolver.
An old fashioned six shooter. It matched him. The metal was cold and gray and just a little too dull in the weird half-light of this dreamy nightmare room.
“Your game,” he said. “Russian Roulette.”
Honestly all I could do was giggle. I could still very much feel the agony, and thinking was simply not going to happen. Not anymore. My muscles burned in the cold air, the scent of blood thick enough to choke on as I weakly reached up a hand for the gun, and only felt grateful he’d picked something easy.
All I had to do was point the gun to my temple and pull the trigger. He helped.
His cold hands wrapping around the bloody mess of my own, steadying my slick fingers on the trigger. I felt nothing but sweet relief as I pulled it.
I knew without a doubt that every chamber of that gun was full, but in that moment, the End would be more than welcome. I pulled the trigger and heard a deafening… click. I felt the doctor’s hand on my own go still and very, very tight. Felt him force my bloody fingers to pull the trigger again and heard that click and all I could do was laugh. Half broken with pain and disbelief, but the doctor was very quiet.
The gun had jammed. Impossible, isn’t it?
But it meant that I won, and so. The doctor sighed, long and low, and gave me my chance.
He offered for me to become part of it, like him. Said I was already so tangled in it, I just needed to wake up and kill the first thing I saw with that gun. He had a feeling, he said, that it’d be more eager once pointed somewhere else.
Ahah, oh you’ll never guess what I did. I did admit I am very vain, didn’t I? And they’d made such a nice body with my skin, and I didn’t really like the idea of one of them using it.
So I took it back! It’s a bit strange, being filled with sawdust and whatever else, but the End never said I needed to take my body back. It just said wake up, so I woke up in something a little prettier! And then I shot every Stranger in that room and watched them collapse like the awful puppets they all were and my gun had a bullet for every single one of them and the End was very, very happy. You should have seen the doctor’s face when he came in, ahaha! I think he’d thought I’d rejected him when my original body went limp and empty!
Mhmhm~
It all worked out quite well, I think! The good doctor finally gave me his number, after all. And took me out to dinner.
So! Do you want that kiss?
No? Ah, alright. Take care, little Archivist. I’m sure we’ll meet again some time.
#crowswritings#tma advent project#holds up my little ocs like puppets and makes them kiss#i like to joke he's the End's midlife crisis#lore is nowhere to be found here
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omg I never post anything but ty @littlegnoblin
Star Sign(s): Gemini !! Wasnt supposed to be if that counts for anything but idk
Favorite Holidays: im also basic, I love xmas its so cute
Last Meal: cheetos... im so healthy
Current Favorite Musician: Taytan forever
Last Music Listened To: LONDON BRIDGE LMAO I was listening to my hinata playlist
Last Movie Watched: Eras tour if it counts. If not godzilla (2014)
Last TV Show Watched: ...Haikyuu. Omg I have a problem
Last Book/Fic Finished: Monica lewinskys biography. Dont ask idk either
Last Book/Fic Abandoned: I was just reading a spiderman kghn au but I didnt like it cause it felt too one sided and like lets be fr theyre both equally obsessed
Currently Reading: Currently reading a gay version of p&p I found in my library
Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: I havent written in so long cause ive only been doing boring ass essays. But I rmb looking up one time what were the most popular curtains in the 80s LMAOOO
Favorite Online Fandom Memory: oikawa plushie deaths and everytime bangbangcon happens
Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: YOURE ACTUALLY SO REAL ABOUT STUCKY I was the same !! Honestly id say shera I miss it
Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: boy meets world of all things. I want more eps based on the shawn trans ep
Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: ugh I want to learn so many things on the piano and I just never get the motivation
oops editing cause I forgot to tag but @lovingvolleyboys @sadcodedvillain if yall want
thanks for the tag @snikkelerhq !
Star Sign(s): Virgo babyyyyyy😎
Favorite Holidays: I'm basic and love halloween and christmas
Last Meal: some leftover soup I made last night
Current Favorite Musician: Bastille forever and alwayysss
Last Music Listened To: I've been expanding my kghn playlist so I've been listening to that lmao
Last Movie Watched: I think Jab We Met?
Last TV Show Watched: ...I've been terrible about watching shows this last year I can't even remember...Probably What We Do in the Shadows??
Last Book/Fic Finished: reread peep by @snikkelerhq hee hee🤭
Last Book/Fic Abandoned: I didn't fully abandon it because I plan to get back into it but I fell off of reading Bare Faced Messiah by Russell Miller.
Currently Reading: Listening to the Howl's Moving Castle audiobook :)
Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: I think I googled what the inside of bars look like in Japan?😂
Favorite Online Fandom Memory: stealing jenna's answer and saying it’s meeting some of my closest friends (y'all know who you are😘)
Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: Tbh I'm happy to not give a shit about marvel anymore but I wish it didn't still hurt to think about stucky because they are one of my top 3 ships of all time :(
Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: ooooh it def had a bit of a fandom but In the Flesh deserved better, it was ahead of it's time. Also the Exorcist show should have been all over tumblr!!!
Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: I would love to STOP COMING UP WITH NEW FIC CONCEPTS. Like finish the ones you already have you dumb bitch????
@veggiehomosapien @starsmoonrisefall @akaashism @donestiel @bondiboysofvespucci you guys should do this :-)
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schrodinger's mistletoe (spencer reid x reader)
Request: Maybe something like Garcia’s best friend and ‘sister’ goes to the work Xmas party and she meets Reid and is wearing a nerdy jumper and it sparks a conversation and the classic mistletoe, or something from another holiday since it’s an all around party, happens? In the Xmas feels, also if you or anyone else who sees this celebrates, Happy Hanukkah, or whatever you celebrate as long as it’s happy !!!
Summary: Spencer feels out of place at Penelope’s holiday party. That is, until Reader shows up in her nerdy Christmas sweater.
Category: Fluff
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Content Warnings: Christmas
Word Count: 1.5k
A/N: Here’s a fluffy little blurb, anon!! I hope this is what you were looking for. Also, if you’re curious what Reader’s sweater looks like, it was inspired by this.
Masterlist
•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•
It took seven minutes and thirty-eight seconds for Spencer to realize that this party is not his scene. He loves Penelope, and for that reason alone he’ll stay, but it was definitely not advertised correctly.
When the tech genius said that there would be a few non-BAU friends there, Spencer assumed it would be three, maybe four. Instead, there were easily a dozen people in Penelope’s apartment that he didn’t recognize.
The others were ready to jump right in—Emily, Derek, and Rossi immediately grabbing drinks and joining conversations with ease, while JJ and Hotch stuck close by to their families. Penelope had stayed near Spencer for a little while, but eventually had gotten distracted with a few other newcomers.
That was how Spencer ended up standing toward the edge of the living room, hands wrapped around his mug of hot cider. This wasn’t the worst way to spend the holidays, he supposed. If he wasn’t here then he’d be in his apartment alone, likely reading a couple of books he had recently purchased.
“Is that a Dalek with a Santa hat?”
How hadn’t he noticed you standing there? You were gorgeous—the kind of face that let Spencer know you were a good person. Though you weren’t fully smiling, the little laugh lines proved you often did.
“It is,” he spoke, voice a little lighter now that someone had recognized where his Christmas sweater had come from. “You know Doctor Who?”
“Please, I lived with Penny for three years. It’d be impossible not to know,” you joked.
“You’re Garcia’s old roommate?”
Of course, it was impossible not to know Y/N. Penelope spoke of you often, stating that you were usually roped into Penelope’s wild schemes. You’d apparently been friends since high school, and when Penelope made the move to Quantico you weren’t too far behind. You’d been there for Penelope all through the loss of her parents, and were there to help her pick up the pieces after being caught as the Black Queen by the FBI. You seemed like an amazing person, but Penelope hadn’t ever brought you around to meet them.
Spencer was glad he was getting to meet you now.
“I guess Penny’s been talkin’ about me,” you laughed, a nervous smile pulling on your lips and eyes momentarily dropping down to glance at your shoes. “Only good things, I hope.”
“Of course, she loves you. I feel like I practically already know you from how much she talks about you,” Spencer answered honestly, “though that’s not actually possible.”
“You must be Dr. Spencer Reid.”
“You don’t have to–it’s just Spencer, you don’t have to use the doctor.”
“Noted. It’s nice to meet you, Spencer.”
“What gave it away?” he asked curiously, head tilting to the side a little.
“Well, Penny told me you two cosplayed for Doctor Who together, and you’re the first person who hasn’t asked me what my sweater means.”
It was a cute sweater. On the front was a little box with a cat poking out of it, the words ‘I’m alive, Schrodinger’s Gift’ on it. “I like it. Although, his cat thought experiment has been oversimplified traditionally.”
“That’s true,” you laughed, not even hesitating at his correction of the sweater you’d chosen. “Although, it’s easier to get the concept across to middle schoolers if you oversimply it a little.”
“You’re a teacher?”
“Middle school science. At that age, it’s best to keep them entertained with plenty of experiments and demonstrations,” you explained, and Spencer wished he could hear the sound every day. It was bright, uninhibited in the way that proved you hadn’t seen the horrors that him and the rest of the team had. You were still innocent, naive to the world in only the best ways.
“We need more good teachers,” Spencer spoke then, and it must’ve been the right words to say because you positively grinned.
“You know, I think Penny was right about you.”
Oh? Spencer could feel his cheeks heat up, knowing they’d be bright red. “What did she say about me?” He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer, but the question was already out there. Flashbacks of all the other times in his life someone had talked about him flashed through Spencer’s mind, and none of them had exactly been kind. This was Penelope Garcia though, who he was sure wasn’t capable of hating anyone. Of course she wouldn’t have a bad thing to say about him, but still he could feel the familiar anxiety bubbling up in his chest.
“That you were my type.”
“O-oh,” Spencer choked out, eyes widening at the little smirk and playful sparkle in your eyes. Her type? He didn’t think he’d ever been considered someone’s type before, and honestly he wasn’t exactly sure what that meant. “What’s your type?”
“Kind, funny, smart...super attractive in that sort of bookish way.”
Spencer wasn’t sure anyone had ever described him as ‘super attractive’ before, but he supposed he’d trust your judgement. “Really? Well, that sounds like my type too.”
“Is that so, Spencer Reid? How am I doing so far then?” you teased, sending him a little wink that sent sparks running through his body.
“You’re, ah, you’re doing great.”
“Well, in that case, I’m pretty sure we’ve been standing under some mistletoe this whole time,” you said, but just as Spencer started to look up your hand was on his chin, keeping him looking at you with wide eyes.
“Why would Penelope put a mistletoe up right here?” he asked, confusion flying through him as he noticed the amused look on your face.
“She told me she was putting them up randomly to catch unsuspecting couples,” you spoke, and it was impossible for Spencer to take his eyes off of you. “So, you could say there’s a fifty-fifty chance that there’s a mistletoe above us right now.”
And oh, he understood where you were going with this. “If we don’t look, the mistletoe is both there and not there.”
“Schrodinger’s mistletoe, of sorts.”
“I prefer to think it is there,” Spencer answered, his whole body feeling full of electricity as he watched your eyes darkened. Then your hand was moving from his chin only so your arms could circle around his neck, pulling him close enough for your lips to press to his.
There weren’t many times Spencer kissed someone simply because he wanted to. There had been Lila a couple years ago, but even then it had been during an adrenaline-filled stalking case. It was better than he ever imagined, the rest of the world slipping away for a single moment. For now, it was just you and him, kissing under the maybe-mistletoe.
The only thing that broke you apart was the cheers that started.
“Oh, I knew you two were perfect for each other!” Penelope practically squealed, causing you to pull away and look bashful at having been caught. It was only made worse when the blonde turned to Emily, a triumphant smile on her face as she said, “You owe me $10.”
“You bet on us?” you asked incredulously, while at the same time Spencer asked, “Emily, you bet against us kissing?”
“I didn’t think you’d land a kiss in the first twenty minutes of knowing someone, Reid,” she laughed, “I’m proud of you.”
“Have fun, you crazy kids,” Penelope laughed, pulling the other woman away from them.
“They bet on us,” you laughed, nervously glancing up to meet Spencer’s gaze.
“They did,” he chuckled in return, hand rubbing at the back of his neck. “It was nice, kissing you. I mean, of course it was, I don’t know wh–Do you want to go on a date? With me, sometime?”
“I’d love to,” you answered, and Spencer knew he’d lay awake that night thinking about your smile.
“You know,” he began, feeling the confidence surge through him unexpectedly, “we’re still standing under that mistletoe.”
“Maybe we are,” you teased but still you allowed his arms to wrap around you, your hands wrapping themselves in his hair.
The two of you would stand under that maybe-mistletoe all night, switching between talking about any topic you could come up with and gentle kisses.
And Spencer couldn’t help but think that maybe Penelope’s holiday party was his scene after all.
•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•
General Taglist:
@samuel-de-champagne-problems @matthewgraygublerlover @silverhetdanes @ssawonderland @safespacespence @shemarmooresfedora @reidsbookclub @alexontheinternet @katymarie @mrsobrien888 @alexxavicry @writingquillsandpainpills @fightingdragonswithreid @idfvc @lil-stark @lady-anon-x
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid one shot#my fics
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For Xmas eve my bfs mom came over and we were supposed to go to my mom's house and my nieces and nephew were going to be there and of course I didn't buy any gifts for them so literally on my way to my mom's house I beg my bf to stop at CVS so I could buy them some toys and coloring books (they're all age 9 and younger) and he and his mom waited in the parking lot and we wrapped the gifts in the car wtf is wrong with me!!! Guess what!! The kids didn't even come over!! 🤦♀️ I found good stuff for them too I was so looking forward to giving my nephew his minecraft player guide and Lego set and a cute planner and glitter gel pens and stickers for my 9 year old niece 😭 and for the baby I got cute rainbow hair clips for her and matching stick on earrings I was clearing out those shelves in that busy ass CVS full of other ppl just like me who did not have their shit together dmdmxndmsxnxnemsndsk they'll just have to pick up their gifts some other time but omg shopping last minute like that was so stressful even for little kid stuff. Idk how full time parents do this I rly don't !!! They have to hide the presents and pretend Santa broke in to leave them! Wtf. I'm a horrible aunt
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Courtiers + Christmas
Sorry, dear anon, it took me ages 😓 well at least I did it before xmas, right?
To avoid the whole discourse about why the bunch of demons and one morally corrupted human are celebrating Christmas, I should say that this is based on the MC inviting the courtiers to celebrate together.
Valdemar🎄😈
Not like they usually pay attention to silly human holidays. But if it is you inviting... “how delightful” - of course Valdemar is coming. The problem is that in their millennia of existence being busy with their research they sort of missed out on what Christmas was about. “MC, don’t give me that look, this is all fairly new”, you don’t even want to what is old for them. But it’s Valdemar so they lock themselves in dungeons and put all their inhuman determination into researching Christmas.
Valdemar’s research is ...advanced. After they excitingly start telling you whether you knew that red in decorations symbolises blood, you decide it’s time to intervene, hand Valdemar list of gifts to buy and encourage them to return to their usual work (who would believe you would ever say it).
They turn to the party/dinner dressed as Santa (or whatever equivalent). Are you shocked? Erm yes... But why are other guests loving it ?! Well they did become sort of xmas expert in less than a week so you guess it’s okay. Expects lots of stories on how Christmas celebrations developed over the last centuries.
Charms your grandma or elderly auntie by being the only person capable of listening about their chronical conditions and actually engaging on the topic. Your little niece/neighbour’s kid loves them too - they expertly removed all those bits of turkey leg they don’t like to eat in less than 5 seconds. Everybody loves them. But Valdemar still spends most of the time telling what a fascinating specimen you are.
When it comes to gift exchange part, you are glad that they only added a few medical books, plague masks and antiseptics to the list, could be worse.., but where is yours present? “You, my little silly duckling, are on the naughty list this year” with this Valdemar gently throws you in their sack grabs you and excuses you both from the party. You try to protest but they only say that they played along for long enough and now it’s their turn to play little game with you. Oh well you can leave early one year, it promises to be worth it.
Valerius 🎁🍷
Every year Valerius receives plenty of invitations to winter holidays parties arranged by the nobles but this is the first time he got invitation to something that personal. Tells you that he needs to check his diary and finally reluctantly agrees only because “there was a rather unfortunate cancellation”. But really in his head he is like “Omg does it mean that I am part of the family now? Cancel all plans NOW.”
Then he learns that you plan to have Christmas dinner/party at your place. The consul of Vesuvia to go to that ...shack?? That’s unthinkable: The party will be in his estate, yes he knows that it’s incredibly generous of him to offer and no you cannot refuse.
And this is when things are getting extra. You know that crazy neighbours competitions whose Christmas lights are brighter and decorations are better? That’s Valerius, although he has nobody to compete with really. The massive xmas tree got delivered from who-knows-where and who-knows-how in 2 days, and there is no red, golden or green decoration item left in stock in entire Vesuvia, oh and some the palace’s best cooks suddenly took a sick leave for a week (no it was Valerius promising them triple wages).
You ask Valerius not to get any expensive presents, otherwise you will feel bad, he did indeed agree that it was reasonable suugestion. Everybody gets presents more expensive than life. The guests surpringly find Valerius a very good host, this might have something to do with those gifts which were definitely extra or with the fact that everybody got merry in like 20 min thanks to all the fancy wine. Valerius is gossip central, argues about politics with your annoying uncle and plays board games with children.
Insists that it would be better if you stay overnight and not travel home late. Falls asleep in chair with drink in hand like an old man. Later that chair somehow migrates to the hallway by the guest bedroom, under the strategically placed mistletoe. Wait, where did red silky robes come from? All planned. Let’s hope that the unfortunate relative of yours is not staying in the same guestwing.
Vlastomil 🎅🏻 🪱
It’s lovely of you to invite him but he is a busy worm man and cannot really leave his children alone. Maybe he can just stop by? “No, MC! Don’t get offended!!”
Then he learns that Christmas is usually about family, does it mean that his children can come as well?? Ugh while you are mumbling something about that worms may not be very comfortable at your place, Vlastomil decides that the Christmas party will be held in his garden so the worms everybody can enjoy it.
Prepare to have a ...thematic Christmas. There is white xmas tree decorated with the shimmery worms and candy canes which have worms wrapped around them. Okay, even you are not the biggest fan of worms you have to admit that the ice sculptures of worms are quite impressive. He even has little nativity scene but with the worms.
Everybody receives crystal tree decoration baubles with live worms inside. Everybody is shocked. Vlastomil explains that it’s only stocking fillers and there are more gifts. (Also crystal baublesare only for transportation, the worms need to be free range, how dare you). The actual gifts are... amazing. Somebody got a scarf that they liked but didn’t have enough money to buy on that day, another person got a album of pin up pictures of snake women even if it was supposed to be a secret interest of theirs and you got that sparkly princess teara you cried for your parents to buy at age 5 but they never did (cmon, x years later, you still like it).
Some little child says that Vlastomil is like Santa with how you he magically read people’s wishes (there there, little one, it’s just the power of gossip), but Vlastomil is vibing: wiggler gets elf outfit from somewhere and you get lots of invitations to “come to sit on Santa’s lap”. Yes you can stay there after all the guests leave (and yes you can keep your sparkly teara on).
Volta 🍪🥛
Was secretly dreaming to be invited since at least October. But is still genuinely surprised when you ask her to come. She asks tonnes of questions: who else is coming, are you sure they would like Volta, what are you going to do, will there be food?
Volta wants to help you with all the preparations. Not like she is super useful but she did dig out from the piles of stuff in her estate and bring you lots of old tree decorations and some nice tableware. She basically spends all your time with you in the build up to Christmas: you decorate the house together, make gingerbread houses (well more like you made one house from the 1000s attempt, they all got eaten before they were actually completed) and pack gifts for everybody.
You warned all the guests that there going to be lots of food this year, and no you finally don’t need to worry about what to do with the leftovers and crying “end me, I am sick of having xmas food for 10 days in a row” because they are not going to be any leftovers. But you didn’t expect Volta to turn up with even more food. “Volta does not want anybody to starve on Christmas!”. She surely eats lots but she is also looking after other people lots, passing them plates with food (just imagine her holding it with both of her tiny hands) and topping up their drinks, she wants everybody to enjoy the dinner.
Everybody at the table is talking of how adorable Volta is, and nobody can even hide tears when Volta presents little hand made gifts that she prepared herself. But Volta humming Christmas carols? How does she even know Christmas carols? This is illegal level of cuteness.
Volta wants to stay to help you to clean up when the dinner is over. It’s quite and it’s only two of you. Oh you might still have some sweet things in the cupboard.
Vulgora🔥🌟
At first super excited to be invited but the next second they ask what is Christmas about and what does it involve. You decorate, eat, chat to people and exchange gifts? That sounds awfully boring to Vulgora. Can they at least smash the tree in the end? What do you mean - NO?!?!
Eager to help too. They need to use their energy somewhere. You are not sure whether it’s the type of help you wanted. You asked them to carry the xmas tree from the market? There are 5 trees in front of the house, one of which is like is almost 10’ tall. You asked them to chop some wood for the fire? Well, there is enough to have a bonfire in the towncentre. But on the positive side, your house is lavishly decorated this year, Vulgora likes the red and golden theme.
Lots of battle stories at the dinner, some of which ...lack xmas spirit a bit. All the gifts are...war themed. Then Vulgora gets bored and wants to fight for the right to cut the turkey/ vegan nut roast, whatever you are having. Oh no. But they can smash nuts with their gauntlets - the guests are impressed and suddenly want more battle stories. On the positive side, it’s definitely not boring this year, Vulgora is load and energetic.
But then suddenly Vulgora suggests you all go outside, when you question them, they say it’s a surprise. It’s hard to believe what you see: they prepared fireworks and sparkle fountains !!! You cannot help but smile watching vulgora excitingly running around setting them all off (but hopefully not setting your house on fire).
You watch firework lighting up the sky with Vulgora hugging you from behind and then..they rugby tackle you to the ground?! Well whether there is snow or not, they want to have a fight. Luckily the fireworks are over and the guests can just...leave you two to it.
#not sure whether it was cuter in my head#the arcana courtiers#the arcana courtiers headcanons#the arcana headcanons#valdemar the arcana#Valdemar#consul valerius#Valerius#vlastomil the arcana#praetor vlastomil#volta the arcana#procurator volta#pontifex vulgora#vulgora the arcana#questor valdemar
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slowly dipping my toe into being back onmy bullshit but i did just reach an exciting achievement--- i filled out my writing notebook in less than a month. its a cute simpsons hardcover that i got for xmas& now it's completely full-- all 200pages. & the bestpart is that every single word written into this book was a commission, every word paid for
& heres bebe using it as a bed as she loves to do cos shes so disrespectful of mamas writings
& i just wanted to bring a bit more attention to this segment from birthday gift cos i think im very funny
the cute book i ordered from redbubble was supposed to be here 5days ago but its fine, im not bitter/annoyed/impatient to get it
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🎅2019 SPN J2 XMAS GIFT EXCHANGE🎅
🎁Gift for Themegalosaurs🎁
(Please do not repost or alter. At the very least, please give me credit.) |LJ community: spnj2xmas |Giftee: @themegalosaurus | LJ Post
Gifter: kirathehyrulian Title: Don’t Play With Your Food Rating: G Pairings: Gen Warnings: None
Summary: Witch!Sam isn’t playing with his food, honest.
For more art from me please check out my “myart” tag here on Tumblr. 👇 (Bonus Doodle and Artist Notes down below) 👇
Artist Notes:
I’m still new to it myself, but for those that don’t know what this fandom activity is, it’s a gift exchange where instead of buying gifts you use your artistic skills to create a work based on one or more of the five prompts while keeping in mind the wants and dnw’s of the giftee. Your chosen giftee is handpicked by the mods based on your can do’s and can not do’s that you listed on your sign-up sheet. It’s a great way to encourage creativity and community in the fandom.
I signed up as a pinch-hitter. This means that in the unfortunate event someone has to drop out, I will be asked to fill in for them. I won’t participate in the main exchange, but I will be able to ensure someone will get their gift for this event. Which is a role I feel more comfortable with.
Anyways, I was asked a few days ago to fill in. I said yes and got started right away. I wanted to make it for the pitch hitter deadline, so the past few days were dedicated to this. Lol, I told the community rep that I was busy with two other projects and I couldn’t make anything complicated. But, that went out the window when I got crackin.
It’s like artist masochism or something. First, it was just going to be a simple drawing of Sam, then I wanted to add the fox, then I wanted to add a background and foreground, then shading, till finally, I decided to add color. x_x I guess I was just wanted to make a good gift worth gifting. I’m happy with how it turned out, so I think I did so, but that is truly up to the giftee to decide.
I took a literal approach to the prompt list instead of the metaphorical one that was probably supposed to be intended. I know that the giftee likes Sam and the prompt said hocus pocus. So, witch!Sam. The prompts mentioned a heart, robin eggs, hearing, a skeleton in a closet, nothing wasted, nature, and young.
So, we get recycled food, drying herbs, young witch Sam, a skeleton in a closet, a nest with robin eggs, ears and a heart in jars. Also, the likes listed cracky subjects and Sam’s hobbies. So, we get Sam experimenting with raising zombie food, keeping a bunch of books like the bibliophile he is, and drying herbs.
Sam’s known for his relationship with yellow eyes, but I’ve always thought that if Sam had a natural power/aura it would always look orange or copper. Plus, Jared has fox eyes, so instead of the typical dog, wolf, or cat familiar I gave Sam a cuddly fox instead. Lastly, I don’t really like using the child actors as references when I draw young Sam or Dean. So, I was trying to use the very few child pics of Jared I found to make a young!Sam.
Now the bonus for those that made it this far:
Witch!Sam isn’t playing with his food, honest. He was playing with Dean’s. Haha.
I really love the cute zombie food. That tomato eating the peach.^u^ The half eaten hamburger is also a fav.The grumpy banana peel is upset that he doesn’t have his banana no more. The freshly risen bread had a good sleep and is ready to feast on the flesh of his brethren. And poor orange didn’t get reanimated right so he’s a little sick.
Enjoy, if you can!♥♥♥
Musical Inspiration (Things that I listened to this time to get in the mood to draw, but not meant as an accompaniment to the fic):
I didn't listen to anything specifically for this work, but I did frequently listen to Billie Eilish- Lovely, Billie Eilish- Bury a Friend, Aquilo- Silhouette, Billie Eilish- Everything I Wanted
#supernatural#spn#sam winchester#spn fanart#spn art#young!sam#witch!sam#spn humor#sam winchester appreciation#dean winchester#in the bonus art#myart#christmas#spnj2xmas exchange#2019#spn event
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Detention In December
Request: //Hi!!! 🙋 I was curious if you would do number 17 off the Xmas promp list with Billy X chubby reader?? I think it'd be cute!! XD
17: “I can’t believe it’s Christmas Eve and I’m stuck in a snowstorm with you.” “There’s worse company.” “Doubtful.”
Summary: You and Billy end up in detention together. After arguing back and forth you both begin to feel comfortable around each other.
Warnings: Mentions of Billy’s shitty dad but other than that I think it’s just full of soft Billy really
Words: 3205
A/N: Thanks to @shewhofeelsnature for this amazing request. I had to think about this one for a bit but was inspired by the book ‘One Of Us Is Lying’ and also ‘The Breakfast Club’ so hope you enjoy this fic! I tried to make this a chubby reader fic so hopefully I did it justice! This is my last fic for a while because I’ve decided to take a break for christmas. I will be opening my requests again after christmas so if you have any requests sit on them until then!
As if your week couldn’t get any worse you were made to go to detention on Christmas Eve. It had started to snow before you left your house and by the time you made it to school it was a full-on blizzard. You knew you would get detention for what you did but you didn’t think you would be punish so harshly.
As you push the door open to the detention hall you see that it’s just you and one other person. That person being Billy Hargrove. It was well known that you hated Billy Hargrove but that was proven last week after he beat up Steve. You walked straight up to Hargrove the next day and punched him breaking his nose and giving him another black eye.
As you let the door close behind you Billy turns a full 180 in his chair to see who was joining him for detention today. His eyes lock with your and he lets out the most dramatic sigh you had ever heard. You knew it was better to sit on the other side of the room well away from Billy. You didn’t need another day in detention over the holidays.
You looked at the clock above the desk to see that is was already 12:05. The supervising teacher was late meaning you were left with Billy unsupervised and you really didn’t like the idea of that. You glance out the window and see the snow getting heavier. There was no way you were getting home easy in that. Your day couldn’t get any better.
You take out your homework from your bag as Billy continues to huff and puff from the back of the class. You begin to do some physics questions glancing at the clock every now and then. At 12:15 Billy stands up and stretches.
“As much fun as this has been Y/L/N I’m out of here” Billy walks towards the door as you continue to ignore him. You knew he wouldn’t get very far with the snow, so you expected to see him again.
As you continued on with your physics homework you could hear banging from outside the classroom. You were intrigued so you got up from where you were sitting and walked towards the door. You peak out the door to see a defeated Billy leaning against a row of lockers.
“You know punching lockers isn’t going to make your situation any better” You shout down the hallway receiving a glare from Billy. You hear him scoff as he pushes himself of the lockers and walks towards you. You turn on your heal and sit back down.
“This is all your fault Y/L/N. If you hadn’t of punched me, we wouldn’t be here no would we.” Billy walks across the classroom and sits on the teacher’s desk watching as you put away your books.
“You think I’m happy about this whole situation? I can’t believe it’s Christmas eve and I’m stuck in a snowstorm with you!” You huff as you kick your legs up onto the chair in front of you sliding down slightly trying to stay warm.
“There’s worse company.” Billy stretches his face plastered with a smug smile.
“Doubtful.” You truly meant it too. You couldn’t stand how cocky Billy was. He knew he was pretty and loved getting any sort of attention.
“Well we are going to be here for awhile so get over it princess!” Billy suddenly stands up and walks towards the radiator near you.
“Well at least we have heat…kinda” Billy jokes as the situation begins to set in. It’s Christmas eve and you were stuck in school with no other than Billy Hargrove.
“Not funny. This whole situation is not funny. I’m going to look for food because it’s a lot more serious than you think Hargrove. Grow up!” You snap at Billy as you storm out of the classroom and down the hall towards the canteen. You knew Billy was immature, but it turned out he also didn’t have a serious bone in his body. He thought everything was a joke.
“Hey Y/L/N wait up!” You continue to walk towards the canteen as you hear Billy jog after you. As you both walk silently to the canteen your steps fall in sync with Billy’s.
“You’re probably right about this whole situation. I just like to look on the plus side of things” You glance over to see Billy looking down at his feet while he talks to you.
“Alright fine well lets just hope there is food here considering it supposed to be winter break!” You push the doors open to the canteen feeling a cold breeze hit you as you both walk in. You shiver slightly as you make your way to the back of the canteen where the kitchen was.
“Jesus why is it so damn cold here” You look Billy up and down as he walks ahead of you. As per usual he is barely wearing clothes. His jacket is ripped in places and his shirt might as well be wide open he has so many of the buttons open.
“Before you say it…I know I should be wearing heavier clothes. Don’t be that person” He glances at you as he pushes the door to the kitchen open.
“What do you mean by ‘don’t be that person’” You hold up your hands making air quotes much to Billy’s dismay.
“I mean don’t be a know it all now can we find the food before I freeze in here” You nod your head as he walks to the other side of the kitchen to search for some food. You do the same. After five minutes of searching you both have handfuls of food to last you at least a day.
“So, you still think I’m the worst person to be stuck in here with?” Billy asks as you both walk though the canteen to get to the detention hall.
“Yes, Billy I really do. Just drop it” You didn’t want to talk about this now all you wanted was some warmth.
“No, I won’t drop it” It was his turn to do the air quotes now.
“You seem to forget that you were the one who punched me and gave me the black eye and almost broke my nose!” You scoff as you walk ahead of Billy.
“Really Billy? Maybe if you didn’t beat up everyone that got in the way of this ridiculous act you have going on! You might be able to fool everyone around you, but no one acts like you for no reason!” You stomp into the detention hall and head straight for the radiator. You can hear Billy’s boots hit the floor behind you as he walks towards the opposite side of the room. He kicks a chair on the way almost tripping himself up. You choke out a laugh earning you a glare.
“Enjoy your trip Hargrove?” You begin to laugh as Billy’s face begins to turn red. You can’t tell if he embarrassed, angry or both.
“Shut up Y/L/N” Billy growls from across the room. Angry. That what that face is saying.
“Relax it’s a joke…do you even know what they are Hargrove or are you that dumb that it doesn’t reach that far in your brain?” You knew you were annoying him, but you continued to rile him up see how far you could take it.
“I’m not dumb” You look up from the spot on the floor you were staring at to see a defeated Billy sit in a chair by the window.
“Really because to me anyone who hangs around with Tommy and Carol is dumb. I mean you could be friends with anyone in the school and you pick them…I mean what have they got on you ?” You are genuinely curious why he was friends with those two they just made everyone’s life hell.
“You wouldn’t get it Y/N” The way Billy says your name gets your attention.
“Oh yeah? Try me! I don’t know if you haven’t noticed but I happen to be regarded as a bit of a nerd so you know with that comes a brain…sometimes…so I think I will understand. We all have our issues. I know that all too well!” Billy looks up as you mention your own problems.
“Oh yeah what kinda problems does a nerd with perfect grades have?” Billy asks you as he leans back in his chair with a cocky grin on his face. He thinks he has you figured out, but you aren’t the person he thinks you are.
“I’m not the person people think I am. People think I’m super smart and happy all the time…Well I’m not! I’ve always been the bigger girl in my friend group. The nerd who hasn’t dated anyone. I’d been bullied in middle school and so I promised myself when I started high school, I would stick up for myself and so I did. A kid tried to push me into a locker first day of freshman year and so I pushed him back and threw the first punch except I didn’t stop. I ended up breaking the kids nose, gave him a split lip and eyebrow and two black eyes. People left me alone after that, but I was still this walking stereotype. The chubby nerd! I mean you clearly have a lot of issues but I’m willing to listen…I want to understand the real Billy Hargrove because this certainly isn’t him!” You gesture at him as you speak hoping he will let his walls down.
“You seriously think you are chubby?” You scoff and look down at the ground afraid of what he will say next.
“Not what we are talking about Hargrove” You mumble as you hear him get up off his chair.
“I’ll cut you a deal. You listen to what I have to say about your problem and then Ill let you know what my deal is yeah?” You look up to see Billy sitting on the table opposite you.
“Fine” You nod as you readjust your feet as you continue to bask in the heat from the radiator.
“Okay here’s what I think. Yeah, you’re a nerd but so what ? I had heard about your reputation from Tommy but didn’t believe. How could a pretty little think like you beat someone up that good. That was of course until you punched me and almost broke my nose. Nice punch by the way. Harrington could learn a few things from you. As for the chubby thing I really don’t think that’s accurate” You look up to see Billy standing over you.
Leaning in towards you he whispers “I think you’re far from chubby…curvy yes but not chubby…I always liked curvy girls they have more character than the dumb blondes I’m used to so when I saw you I knew I had to have you princess…nerd or not!”
He pulls away from you and sits back on the table opposite you smug grin on his face. You could feel your cheeks heating up at Billy’s words. Of course, you knew better than to believe him.
“Uhmm I’ll be back in a minute I need to use the bathroom” With that you run out of the room and down the hallway. You hated the way Billy Hargrove was making you feel. Damn snowstorm was to blame for everything. You run into the bathroom and into the cubicle. Were you having a panic attack? No, you were just out of breathe but you were experiencing butterflies. You hear the door to the bathroom open and close…he followed you.
“You know it’s creepy to follow me into the bathroom” You shout out at the boy who is leaning against the sink opposite your cubical.
“I wanted to make sure you were doing okay…you ran out pretty quickly. Something I said princess?” You can hear the genuine concern in his voice, and you realise that he may have been telling the truth the entire time. You open the door to see him leaning against the sink.
“Uhmm…” You hesitate as Billy’s eyes met yours. You notice how beautiful his eyes are. You could stare at them all day.
“I get you haven’t dated before but let me break down this wall you have built up around you and I think we may have more in common than you think…but first I promised to reveal the real me I guess…I want to stay in here though. It’s warmer in here than in that damn classroom!” You nod and sit up on the counter beside him.
“Where do I even start? I don’t want you to feel sorry because that is not what I’m looking for here. You let me in a little so that’s what I’m doing. I want you trust me Y/N because you’re right I do put on an act, but I have to. My dad’s a pretty hard man. He is never happy with anything you know. When my mother left, he began to treat me like a piece of shit. Did I deserve it? Sometimes but still it messed me up and so when I knew we were moving here I decided to make a change…like you. I wasn’t taking shit from anyone and this was also my way of rebelling against him you know. I had girls over every night just to annoy him. I gave up on wanting to be this perfect son cause I knew that wasn’t going to work. Tommy and Carol were the easiest targets, I guess. If I’m dumb, they are even dumber because they do anything as long as they are in your good books!” Billy sighs once he is finished talking. You haven’t taken your eyes off him as he explained everything to you. You never expected him to actually tell you anything let alone confess this to you.
“I’m not going to pretend to know what things are like for you but this you is a lot nicer than the one I’m used to. I can’t imagine how hard things have been for you, but I want you to know that I’m here for you if you need a friend…a proper friend not like Tommy or Carol!” You smile when you see Billy visibly relax. He was now comfortable around you and you were happy that you had managed to break down his walls. You knew what was coming next and you didn’t like it.
“Thanks, I appreciate it. Surprisingly it’s like a weight f my shoulders to let someone in you know” You nod because you do know. You felt the same way telling Billy even if your confession was far from his.
“So…are we going to talk about you running away from me or just ignore it because I would like to talk about it but if you want to ignore it we can” You let out a shaky breathe unsure on where this conversation was going to go.
“I mean what is there to talk about. You said…what you said, I freaked out and ran out and here we are. Nothing to talk about really. You know why I was spooked by what you said” Once you stop rambling Billy jumps down from the sink counter and walks to where you are sat stepping in between your legs.
“I want you to relax. I’m not going to hurt you, but you need to tell me a few things first. Have you ever kissed anyone before?” You shake your head as Billy pushes a strand of hair from your face behind your ear.
“Okay and would you like someone to guide you through it princess?” You are about to refuse but then you think back on what had told Billy earlier in the detention hall. You were a walking stereotype. You nod your head too nervous to say anything.
“Well I know someone who is pretty qualified in that area I can hook you up if you want” You laugh as Billy’s hand reaches up to your cheek. He moves towards you as you prepare yourself.
“Relax princess I’ll guide you” With that his lips are against yours. Despite the fact that they are barely touching you can feel how soft they are. You get a slight taste of cherry of his lips. Cherry coke! Billy has now deepened the kiss your lips smashing against his as things begin to heat up between the two of you. You hand goes to the back of his neck and you begin to play with the hair eliciting a moan from Billy. After what feels like hours Billy pulls away allowing you both to catch your breathes a little.
“Who knew the nerd Y/N Y/L/N was such an expert kisser” Billy says as you laugh.
“That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be” You mumble as Billy steps away from you.
“That’s cause it was with me! I’m an expert at this kind of thing!” You laugh because it was true.
“I wonder if the snow has let up any?” You ask hoping of the counter.
“Lets go check” Billy takes your hand and pull you out of the bathroom and down the hallway to the door leading outside. Once you get to the window you realise the snow has finally stopped which means you could leave.
“Yes! I’ll race you back to the room!” Before Billy even has a chance to argue you begin to run towards the detention hall to get your things. You can hear Billy’s boots hit the floor as he runs after you. As you get to the door you stop dead seeing the supervising teacher sitting at the top of the class.
“Shit” Billy almost collides with you as he skids to a stop.
“We are fucked Y/L/N” You open the door ready to hear some shouting from the supervisor.
“Where have the two of you been?” The teacher asks as he stands up and walks over to where you were standing.
“Well since you were very late and we thought we would be stuck in here we went to search for somewhere warmer than here and food and now we are leaving to go celebrate Christmas with our families because I’m not risking getting stuck here and I don’t think Hargrove is either” You brush past the supervisor and grab your things Billy right behind you. You walk out of the room and wait for Billy to follow who runs out behind you.
“Who knew you had it in you! You really don’t live up to that stereotype you know. The more I see of you the more I realise that your nothing like a typical nerd” You smile at Billy’s words feeling your confidence build in you as you both walk towards the back doors leading to the carpark.
“Do you need a lift home?” You forgot that your mom had dropped you off and you planned on walking home.
“That would be great!” Who knew detention could bring two people who hated each other together. You were surprised you even talked to Billy all things considering. Now to celebrate Christmas.
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I have deigned to answer 30 questions.
Name/Nickname: Joshua
Gender: Mail
Orientation: Northwest
Star sign: Aquarius: the slippery one
Height: 6″2
Time: 2:19 pm
Birthday: Feb
Favourite band: We’re supposed to have favourite bands?
Favourite solo artist: let’s say Johnny Mercer
Song stuck in my head: For no good reason the Taylor Swift/Andrew Lolo Baloney song from Cats was in my head this morning. It sucks but it’s there.
Last movie: Borat Subsequent Moviefilm. I liked it more than the first! Rudy Guiliani is an odious man.
Last show: The Boys. I HAD to watch Blackadders Christmas Carol on Xmas day so I got the 7-day free trial for Amazon Prime which I intend to take full advantage of and then not honour.
When did I create this blog: Thu, 03 Apr 2014 21:38:46 (< Horrifying)
What do I post: Reblog things I find funny or well-put, art I like and as of recently, unironic cute animal vids
Last thing I googled: Mr Robot (I was trying to remember the name of the german guy)
Do I get asks: I seriously don’t remember the last time I got one
Why I chose my URL: It’s a play on words, see? Though it does make everyone think my surname is Martin
Following: 206? Too many some might say.
Followers: 512!! That can’t be right. I see you pornbots.
Average amount of sleep: At least 8 hours. Or else.
Lucky number(s): 4
Instruments: Still vainly trying to learn the guitar.
What am I wearing: Tan shorts and a graphic tee of Thanos throwing Captain America (though some friends insist it’s Captain Marvel) onto the ground and it says THOOM really big. Love a giant onomatopoeia on a shirt.
Dream job: More animation, more voicework
Dream trip: Bedrock City Arizona, the abandoned Flintstones Theme Park
Favourite food: I’m gonna say, Green Curry
Nationality: Pakeha (European New Zealand)
Favorite song: At this moment, Weird Al’s Hamilton Polka (saves me listening to the whole thang ding)
Last book read: Lamb, the Gospel acorrding to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal (highly recommend! it’s very funny and imaginative but also offers an interesting backstory to Jesus arriving at his own moral conclusions that differ from his Judaic upbringing)
Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: Star Trek, Roger Rabbit and uhh... Homestar Runner? I want to hang out by the stick and go order the luncch special at Bubs concession stand.
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