#this was so fun i love symon a lot

[vonlipvig]

they should let symon go to a rage room to break shit up every couple of months. either that, or kill a man. he deserves it.

symon losing his cool with the trade war while the gang stares in surprise was such a fun moment, so of course i had to doodle it (and thank you @vice-president-galade for the screenshots!).

full pics below the cut!

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

⭐ Chapter 8

This is another Yorick chapter, & it's also the final chapter before we reach "season 1, episode 1!" (yes, it took me 8 chapter to wrap up the "childhood arc")

It's weird, because I have many feelings about this chapter, but I am not sure how to articulate them? I will attempt, though! So, Yorick, like, he gets a taste of normal male interaction throughout a chunk of chapter 8. He's at Storm's End for His Boy Borros's wedding, & Borros's Boys™️are there, & they like him/accept him into the group as "Borros's weird younger cousin who he likes a lot, so we'll be nice to him." And I love Borros & His Boys™️so much. Devoid of context they are in a comedy, actually. Like, in the same way that, devoid of context, pre!Reek Theon is hilarious.

During his interactions with Borros & His Boys™️Yorick actually, like, comes out of his anxiety shell that he's been developing since he got forced to be Daemon's squire. They go on a "stag weekend" hunting trip, & just, like...they're all so regular. They're so regular. Yorick doesn't know what to do with himself because they aren't assholes to him like his dad or the City Watch, & they treat him like your average pre-teen with autonomy & opinions unlike Viserys. He gets his first sip of beer, I'm pretty sure he inadvertently gets The Talk just because all these late teens/early 20s guys are trying to Out-Chad each other. And he smiles, like, he smiles big & genuine & happy for the first time since he was, like, seven. He jokes with them! It's just...it is so wholesome & I want to live in the opening sequence of Chapter 8. I don't care that I, personally, don't like hunting: nothing can hurt you or be bad in the opening sequence of chapter 8! Don't look at the title being "Toppled Tower" or where we fall in the timeline of Alicent's life. That isn't important. And we can ignore Viserys. This isn't about him! Come back here, wholesome moments from Yorick having healthy male bonding!

Borros And His Nasty Boys (affectionate name because of events that happen surrounding later events) are absolutely delightful to me. They aren't "favorite side character" status, but they're good:

Borros Baratheon is simply, the most 20-year-old guy ever & he's taking his younger, first cousin once-removed under his wing to be a beacon of emotional safety purely because "he thinks I'm cool, & also he seems really lonely." He makes sure Yorick gets included in things & he laughs at his jokes & he's the aforementioned "giver of the first beer" (don't pay attention to the fact Yorick is 12. This is Westeros, it's fine)

Rory Dondarrion is accidentally relevant because I forgot Criston's dad worked for his family, & he's just Borros's more literate, less bombastic cousin who actually stops & things about things, but then still decides to go along with Borros for the laugh of it & also because "we are friends & you stick with your friends." And he just...he shows his love by making fun of you. Because he's just, like, a misplaced modern UK idiot boy who wears ugly street clothes & goes to the pub & unironically chants "LADS!" with his friends when he gets drunk

Symon Lonmouth is there so someone besides Laenor cares about Joffrey, & he's arguably the same archetype as Rory, but in a way more toned down way. He makes dumb jokes with his little brother, & he shows care for the people around him, & he takes things a bit too seriously because it's all fun & games until Yorick makes a dark joke & then he has no idea what to do with himself because he wants to be taken seriously so bad that it's silly.

Kevan Tarth, simply put, wants what Harwin Strong has. He wants to be chadly & universally hot, & he's not not successful at flirting, he's also just, like, 16. You are not going to be a gigachad at 16. Also, he is the cousin of Vaemond Velaryon's wife! That's not relevant to his character, but it is fun!

Not part of the regular friend group, but I also need to talk a little about the brothers of Borros's wife: the Caron brothers do not have characters, not really. The Caron brothers exist so I could name them after Peter & Edmund Pevensie, & proceed to give them that same age gap.

Chapter 8...chapter 8. I don't think it's one of my favorites (not to say I dislike it, I just have favorite chapters), but it does have a favorite sequence. A sequence of all time. I wanted to have quotes in this one, because I like when I can have quotes, but I would just be pasting the majority of the hunting trip into this ask 😅

[esther-dot]

Sansa, Rhaegar, Marillion and Symon are harp players and singers. Petyr and Tyrion considered a harp is as dangerous as sword. While Rhaegar and Sansa can enchant anyone through their singing, Marillion and Symon knew secrets. Sansa is also learning secrets of others especially LF. Symon convert the 'secret' into the song and used as weapon. Sansa also learn harp from Tyrells which her father refused to teach her. Just like singing, harp playing could be important to Sansa. Thoughts?

There are a lot of ideas wrapped up in this, so I can’t possibly do justice to all the intricacies, but you’re definitely onto something here.

I haven’t read the supplemental books, but they pop up when I’m using asearchoficeandfire and this is a fun little quote:

 As the city and its prosperity grew, so did that of the realm. This was in part due to the Conqueror's efforts to win the respect of his vassals and that of the smallfolk. In this, he was often aided by Queen Rhaenys (whilst she lived), for whom the smallfolk were of special concern. She was likewise a patron to singers and bards—something her sister, Queen Visenya, thought a waste, but those singers made songs of praise for the Targaryens and carried them throughout the realm. And if those songs also contained bold lies that made Aegon and his sisters seem all the more glorious, the queen did not rue it...although the maesters might.

The queen also did much to bring the realm together through the marriages she arranged between far-flung houses. Thus, Rhaenys's death in Dorne in 10 AC, and the wrath that followed it, was felt by much of the realm, who had loved the beautiful, kindhearted queen. (The World of Ice and Fire - The Targaryen Kings: Aegon I)

The songs aren’t just entertainment, they’re a tool to use to shape public perception, rewrite history, and while I am not sure that Sansa will use the harp to do this herself, I have thought that she might very well do something similar to the above to benefit Bran or Jon or just push certain things in the right direction because that’s what she is being taught by LF:

"Gentle, pious, good-hearted Willas Tyrell. Be grateful you were spared, he would have bored you spitless. The old woman is not boring, though, I'll grant her that. A fearsome old harridan, and not near as frail as she pretends. When I came to Highgarden to dicker for Margaery's hand, she let her lord son bluster while she asked pointed questions about Joffrey's nature. I praised him to the skies, to be sure . . . whilst my men spread disturbing tales amongst Lord Tyrell's servants. That is how the game is played.

"I also planted the notion of Ser Loras taking the white. Not that I suggested it, that would have been too crude. But men in my party supplied grisly tales about how the mob had killed Ser Preston Greenfield and raped the Lady Lollys, and slipped a few silvers to Lord Tyrell's army of singers to sing of Ryam Redwyne, Serwyn of the Mirror Shield, and Prince Aemon the Dragonknight. A harp can be as dangerous as a sword, in the right hands.

"Mace Tyrell actually thought it was his own idea to make Ser Loras's inclusion in the Kingsguard part of the marriage contract. (ASOS, Sansa VI)

The important thing in that quote isn’t the harp itself but that bigger idea of information as a means of achieving certain ends rather than brute force. Or, using songs to shape perception and motivate certain behavior. LF has finely tuned this and he’s explaining exactly how. It’s very convenient that Sansa is a good person who is learning how to use these methods for (what I am sure will be) good ends, and considering her particular connection to songs, it feels inevitable that she does just that. 

I even wrote a cracky fic in which she managed to separate Aegon Targaryen  from Jon in songs/stories so effectively that Jon was able to marry her and stay in Winterfell (link). I mean, I say cracky but then I read this:

Neither man nor dragon could have survived such an impact, the fisherfolk who saw it said. Nor did they. Caraxes lived long enough to crawl back onto the land. Gutted, with one wing torn from his body and the waters of the lake smoking about him, the Blood Wyrm found the strength to drag himself onto the lakeshore, expiring beneath the walls of Harrenhal. Vhagar’s carcass plunged to the lake floor, the hot blood from the gaping wound in her neck bringing the water to a boil over her last resting place. When she was found some years later, after the end of the Dance of the Dragons, Prince Aemond’s armored bones remained chained to her saddle, with Dark Sister thrust hilt-deep through his eye socket.         

That Prince Daemon died as well we cannot doubt. His remains were never found, but there are queer currents in that lake, and hungry fish as well. The singers tell us that the old prince survived the fall and afterward made his way back to the girl Nettles, to spend the remainder of his days at her side. Such stories make for charming songs, but poor history. (The Princess and the Queen)

Which I found very interesting.

And, now that I think about it, you might be right that Sansa will sing/play a song herself that sways an individual at a crucial point because we do have this line:

"I forgot, you've been hiding under a rock. The northern girl. Winterfell's daughter. We heard she killed the king with a spell, and afterward changed into a wolf with big leather wings like a bat, and flew out a tower window. But she left the dwarf behind and Cersei means to have his head."

That's stupid, Arya thought. Sansa only knows songs, not spells, and she'd never marry the Imp. (ASOS, Arya XIII)

Sansa already saved herself from the Hound with her singing, Rhaegar’s singing always had a very powerful effect on the people who listened to him, so the “charming” people that you mention reads almost spell-like. We know Sansa is musical, but we haven’t had a scene of someone being enchanted by her playing so maybe that’s coming.

What’s really fascinating about your observations is that bit about Ned not getting Sansa a teacher but the Tyrells eventually being how she was instructed. I thought that was just part of Ned's habit of placating Arya because she was more demanding and not inattentive to Sansa, but reading your message…it sounds symbolic. Ned who was not a great player of the game didn’t give Sansa the tools she needed, but the Tyrells taught her through their scheming…That’s such an interesting take.

Thank you so much for the message, anon!

[lesbiancolumbo]

you have somehow convinced me to become an iron chef watcher i am so intrigued. where do i start my friend

scream! anon i love you. okay well. the good thing about ICA is you can start anywhere. i always recommend starting with MY favorite episode (11.10, zakarian v. guarnaschelli - battle potato chip). i also need to note that i'm going off of the episodes that are available on the food network go platform and some of the episodes (the ones with mario batali) are "conspicuously absent".

but really the way to do it is get yourself familiar with the iron chefs so that way you know who you want to watch! it's more fun when you're watching someone whose personality is fun for you! my favorite iron chefs are alex guarnaschelli (this is obvious), geoffrey zakarian (he's so pretentious and silly he makes it fun), michael symon (he is probably THE most fun iron chef to watch because he likes to joke around), and masaharu morimoto (his food is fucking insane, he's the best iron chef). also pay attention to the challenger names. do you recognize them? watch those too! once you know who you're enjoying the most just watch all their fucking episodes and then move to the others. you can also look at the wiki list of episodes and see what the secret ingredients are to select episodes that way as well. but if you want a little list, here are the episodes that I like to watch:

my favorite episodes are ones where iron chefs battle each other. these are some of those episodes:

11.10 to 11.14 aka the tournament of champions

these are the episodes i watch a lot: 1.1 - morimoto v. donna (first episode, intro to the format, it also dares to answer a dreaded question..... what happens if you don't finish on time!) 1.2 flay v. tsai (you have to look at bobby flay but i like ming tsai and he makes a fucking peking duck in 60 minutes which is impressive) 2.6 morimoto v. symon (mike symon before he became an iron chef... morimoto does a really insane sushi roll in this battle) 5.2 cora v. guarnaschelli (alex guarnaschelli before she became an iron chef!) 7.7 flay v. freitag (amanda freitag is fun to watch) 8.11 morimoto v. zakarian (geoffrey zakarian before he becomes an iron chef (you're noticing a pattern?)! this is the first episode of iron chef that i ever watched) 8.13 symon v. fraser (this episode is insane. challenger comes in with NO SOUS CHEFS and goes against mike symon ALONE) 9.7 symon v. hearst (youngest challenger in kitchen stadium) 10.4 team flay v. team morimoto (marcella valladolid and andrew zimmern team up with the iron chefs) 10.22 symon v. izard (my wife stephanie izard!!!!!!!!!!! she becomes an iron chef in the reboot season but this battle is super fun) 11.1 guarnaschelli v. joo (ALEX G'S FIRST BATTLE!) 11.3 zakarian v. chiarello (GZ eats the dreaded scotch bonnet pepper) 12.8 grill masters (three iron chefs take on three aussie chefs) 12.9 ultimate bar food (anthony anderson and judge simon majumdar team up with iron chefs)

and honestly, ANY thanksgiving or holiday themed battle (every season from 5 onwards has them). i'm very partial to thanksgiving past and present from s11 (that's what the caps from last night are from), the holiday battle where the secret ingredient is alton brown's fruitcake (9.21 holiday battle), the thanksgiving episode where the theme is leftovers (10.27) and the holiday episode where ted allen and robert irvine show up (10.28).

i think this is a good place to start! season 13 is a reboot season and i like all those episodes as well (especially bc they heavily feature my two wives alex g and stephanie) but i'd start with the OG episodes first.

and now, with an open heart.... and an empty stomach..... i say unto you in the words of my uncle........

[artificialqueens]

Had to Give In (Couldn't Give Up) (Gottrosenali) - Writworm42, Fromthenorthernskies

A/N: Here it is, folks. Perhaps THE most iconic Franco-Anglo collab since the hit 2007 movie-I-haven't-seen Bon Cop/Bad Cop. This was incredibly fun to write, and Emerald and I had a blast bringing this fic together. We really hope you guys like it!!

Of course, it wouldn't be what it is at all without our lovely beta Holtzmanns, who single-handedly removed 43728497 commas for us. Your patience is legendary and appreciated, friend <3 <3 <3

Title from I Don't Do Drugs by Doja Cat ft Ariana Grande.

SYNOPSIS: A bad flight and surprise plans convince Denali that his birthday probably isn't going to be very happy; that is, until Mik and Rosé step in to give him the best present he could ask for.

Saying that the plane ride from Chicago to New York had been rough was, in Denali’s opinion, probably one of the biggest understatements someone could make. What was supposed to have been an hour and a half gravol-induced nap had turned into a six-hour nightmare, all thanks to an unexpected rainstorm that had turned up out of nowhere, delayed their flight, cancelled it, delayed the new one, then kept them grounded in the plane itself for an extra hour. Add a thousand gate changes, and by the time the crew had actually let them off at Kennedy, Denali had been regretting not going ham at the duty-free liquor counter back at O’Hare.

But it was all worth it when he walked into the passenger pickup area and saw Mik and Rosé waiting for him with wide smiles, birthday balloons, and lavishly-decorated WELCOME HOME signs.

He broke into the biggest grin of them all, outshining even the ones of his boyfriends, finally free after all the hurdles of the day. His pace picked up, but Denali didn’t even have time to fall into a comfortable fast walk before Mik jumped right into his arms, giggling. Denali wobbled on his feet for a moment, even though he had expected Mik to do exactly that, but he wouldn’t have changed it for anything. He was back with them, after such a long time, and for his birthday, too — nothing could top that, he was certain of it.

“Come on, let him go, he must be tired after all that happened today,” admonished Rosé, and Denali saw Mik pout but finally slide off, still refusing to let go of his hand. He didn’t mind at all, especially when Rosé gathered his long-lost forgotten luggage on one hand, and started to pick up all the things they had brought to welcome him.

He still found himself dragging down Rosé a bit, getting a soft kiss at last after his stupid stressful day. Denali also let a whiny Mik claim one as well, trying his best to keep it pretty tame since they were still in the middle of a big airport with lots of people moving past them. “I hope you two haven’t planned the biggest party of the year for tonight, because I’m exhausted,” started Denali with a chuckle, which quickly died down when he saw the sheepish looks his boyfriends shared. “Okay, what can I expect?��

“Let’s just say we might have gone a bit overboard with inviting people,” admitted Mik, rubbing the base of his neck with his free hand.

“In our defense, we didn’t know you were going to be stuck on a plane for six-ish hours.”

He barely kept in a sigh, even though Rosé was right. As they fell into their Uber, Denali was still stuck in his mind. He had wanted nothing more than to have his boyfriends for himself all evening and night; they could go celebrate his birthday with their friends in the next few days. After all, he was supposed to stay for almost a week, so what was the hurry?

That, and Denali had clearly underestimated how horny he was for them, now that he was stuck in the middle, pressed against them firmly. He knew they didn’t have too long to stay in the car, more or less thirty minutes, but it was plenty enough for him to feel the heat of them nearby — it was plenty enough time for him to go crazy with how Rosé’s hand was lingering on his thigh, and how Mik was all cuddled to him on the side, his warm breath hitting his neck.

It was a fact that didn’t slip past Mik, ever-observant as long as sex was potentially involved.

“Don’t worry, gorge,” the youngest’s whisper was low and teasing in Denali’s ear as he drawled, “Just a few hours, and then we’ll be back home to give you your real present.”

It was less reassuring than Denali was sure Mik meant to be, but at least Rosé hadn’t seemed to have heard them - if he had, Denali knew for a fact that he would have amped up his teasing by now, and Denali wasn’t sure he could survive that without damaging his Uber rating.

Luckily, they stopped briefly at Rosé’s apartment to put away Denali’s suitcase, and Denali couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief when he kicked his shoes off, the ache in his feet soothed by the familiar feeling of Rosé’s hardwood floors under them as he headed for the bedroom. Rosé and Mik both followed, and for a moment, Denali almost thought that he’d get a little relief — a cuddle maybe, a quick handjob if he was lucky. After all, they still had about half an hour before they’d have to head out for dinner. And things actually did look like they were coming up for Denali when Rosé told him to lie down with a quick kiss on the lips, both his boyfriends allowing him to rest as they put his clothes away for him.

Unfortunately, that was as far as it went; the minute his body melted into the mattress, Denali’s eyes couldn’t help but fall closed, and he was out like a light.

When he woke up again, Rosé and Mik were laid on either side of him, the former tracing lazy patterns on his arm as the latter spooned him from behind, holding him snugly as he nuzzled into Denali’s neck.

“Did you have a good nap, baby?” Rosé’s voice was soft, his smile gentle, and despite the way Denali was kicking himself for the missed opportunity, he couldn't help but nod as he let out a yawn.

“Do we have any time left before dinner?” The thought came to him as the sleep left his brain, unfogging his mind and making him painfully aware of where he was, what his boyfriends were doing. What else they might be able to do to him, if they had any time left.

But Rosé shook his head sadly, sitting up and gesturing for Mik and Denali to do the same. “We’re already late,” he sighed. “Sorry, baby, but we have to go, the others have been waiting for a while.”

Sure enough, when Denali checked his phone, their group chat was full of messages from Kandy, Jan, Lagoona, Joey, Kahmora, Utica, Olivia, and Symone demanding to know where they were, if they were alive, and if they could go ahead and start getting drunk without them.

Figures.

“Trust me, this hurts us as much as it hurts you, gorge,” Mik teased as he helped Denali up and off the bed. “You wanna change before we go, by the way? I mean, it’s your night, so you can go in stained sweats if you want, but the restaurant isn’t exactly a McDonalds…”

“He’s trying to tell you it’s fancy,” Rosé cut in, tossing Denali a button-up and neat pair of slacks. “Come on, get changed, I’ll call us a cab.”

--

Denali didn’t know what he’d expected, but in retrospect, he really should have guessed it was going to go this way. They had barely arrived, and he had barely taken a seat between his two grinning boyfriends when he felt not one, but two hands brushing against his clothes underneath the table. He was ready to bet all the money in the world that Mik had spilled the beans about how antsy he had been in the car earlier — because that was usually how they worked, even if he was usually the one plotting with either of his lovers instead. This was wildly different, and just thinking about it wasn’t helping him in any way.

Denali turned his head just in time to catch Rosé watching him with amusement, his typical smirk clearly playing on his lips, especially as his hand squeezed his upper thigh more firmly. He barely stopped a squeak from leaving his throat at this, and he knew with certainty that Rosé had caught on — and that usually meant he would be relentless. Denali didn’t know how long they were supposed to stay here, but it would be hellish at best. It couldn’t be any other way, not when he felt Mik’s lean fingers slide right under his button-up.

And he was expected to stay calm and keep on with everyone wishing him happy birthday and giving him gifts? Yeah, Denali wasn’t too convinced about that one. He wasn’t sure he could will his body to stay rooted to his chair, instead of ignoring the very public setting they were in and pouncing on the two of them.

Which is exactly why he escaped towards the bathroom the second he had his chance - their friends had been distracting his boyfriends while they took pity on him for a moment to let him eat without having their hands on him all the way through. It may have been the best of all sufferings, but Denali wasn’t equipped to deal with it right now, not until they took care of the mess they created.

Denali looked at his reddened cheeks in the mirror, knowing it wasn’t only because of the drinks he had downed so far this evening. He could only hope that their friends hadn’t noticed too much of this. He was well aware of the reputation they had amongst their friends circle, one that they could barely keep their hands to themselves whenever they were together, as duos or all three of them.

“Ah, so that’s what you’ve been doing. You okay, baby?”

“I told you, he was gone for way too long,” replied Mik with a wicked glint shining in his ocean eyes, locking the door behind him.

“As if you two didn’t plan to get me here,” Denali snorted in response, but he couldn’t say he was mad, not when his lovers were walking towards him, grabbing his wrists and pulling him in to close the distance between them all.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t love it,” Rosé chuckled, reaching up to cradle Denali’s chin in his hand, swiping his thumb gently over Denali’s bottom lip and smirking when he swallowed hard.

“So what, my big birthday present is a romantic bathroom blowie?” Denali tried to make his voice sound sarcastic, but the waver in it betrayed that he was rapidly falling under his boyfriends’ spell, especially when Mik’s hand snaked around to grab his ass.

“Don’t be ridiculous, gorge,” Mik got up on his toes to bite at Denali’s earlobe, tugging it with his teeth as his grip on the other man’s ass got a little firmer. “We’re much meaner than that, aren’t we, Rosie?”

Rosé simply hummed, dropping his hand from Denali’s face down to his belt, undoing it swiftly and plunging a hand into his pants to palm Denali’s cock through his underwear.

“What’re you--”

“ Shh ,” Rosé cut off Denali’s question with a finger on his lips before his other hand slipped below the band of Denali’s underwear. “Why don’t we give you a little temporary relief, huh?”

“Just enough to get you through dinner,” Mik added, winking, and Denali swallowed hard, but melted into his boyfriends’ touches, unable to resist anymore.

—

As it turned out, Denali and his lovers had two very different definitions of ‘temporary relief.’ They edged him mercilessly for the next few minutes, and he came back to the table harder than he’d been when he left, struggling to act natural as he used Mik and Rosé as shields walking in front of him to hide his erection from his friends. Not that they didn’t all know exactly what had gone down; in fact, with the smug bemusement on their faces as he took his seat again, he wouldn’t be surprised if Rosé or Mik outright bragged about it before coming to torment him.

“Just think about how much better everything’ll be after we get home, baby,” Rosé comforted Denali with a wink and a hand tracing up his thigh as they took their seats again, and as much as Denali wanted to pout at the statement, his heartbeat quickened, and he found himself distracted for the rest of their outing. Luckily, his friends took pity on him after dessert was finally finished, all of them just-so-happening to decide they were ‘too tired’ to go to the club and that they should head home for the night. And not a moment too soon, either; Denali swore that Rosé wasn’t even finished telling the cab driver where to go before Mik was loosening Denali’s belt once again.

“When we get home, it’s gonna be all about you, angel,” maintaining at least a modicum of decency, Rosé slipped his hand into Denali’s pants without undoing them completely, Denali’s dick straining against the fabric of his underwear as Rosé got him worked up with deft, teasing fingers. “Anything you want, we’ll give to you.”

“That’s right, it’s your turn to use us ,” Mik threw Denali’s often-used plea back on him with a nip to his neck, smirking against Denali’s skin when the older man whimpered at the sensation.

“Just a few minutes longer, baby boy,” Rosé promised. “Can you be good for us until then?”

Denali was too far gone to do anything but hiss out a needy yes.

—

He wasn't too sure how he managed to get inside Rosé’s apartment without begging them pitifully to take care of the mess they’d created and entertained all night long.

But still, they at least made it all inside, the door duly closed and locked behind them. It was better than some of the times they’d fallen into a passionate embrace right in the middle of the hallways or in the elevator; Denali was sure they had traumatized at least half their neighbors in their respective cities.

He stopped thinking altogether when Rosé firmly pushed him against the door, and Denali felt the sheer need to wipe off his stupid smirk from his face. His wrists were pushed down, restraining his movements and he whined, trying to fight against the hold to no avail.

"Come on, what happened to giving me what I want?"

Rosé merely chuckled, gently deepening one of the marks they had left earlier in the bathroom. Denali bared his neck more, letting his boyfriend do whatever he wanted.

"Baby, I said we'd give you whatever you want, but I know this is what you want, isn't it? Don't you want to use us and guide us in whatever way you want, but only after you're turned on enough?"

Denali hated how right Rosé was, and clashed their mouths together to avoid answering. He was deeply pleased by the soft groan he got in response, finally freeing his wrists while Rosé was distracted.

But that didn't last — while they had both moved a bit farther away from their front door, still kissing, Denali felt soft hands take hold of his wrists again, a warm body pressing itself on his back. Even through his button-up, Denali could feel the heat of bare skin against his spine, shivering and breaking the kiss to turn his head over his shoulder.

He had been wondering where his other boyfriend had gone, and now he had his answer, as Denali saw the mischievousness play in Mik's darkened ocean eyes. "Whatever you want, baby," he murmured softly, relaxing his hold after a moment to let Denali decide what he wanted to do next.

Denali turned around fully, fascinated by how the youngest had taken his time away to remove most of his clothes already, his hands touching his chest almost reverently. Denali felt Rosé push himself against his back, effectively taking Mik’s previous place, and mouthed at his throat.

He sighed contently, bringing Mik closer to him, but raised an eyebrow when he felt something hard push against his thigh. "Baby, did you get all ready for little old me? Bold of you to assume that's what I'd want," Denali snarked with a breathless laugh, feeling Rosé’s hands unbuttoning his shirt with dexterity.

"It's not bold if I know that's what you want in the end, even if you play hard to get," retorted Mik simply, his hands dropping to help Rosé finish undressing their lover.

Denali has seen Mik wearing a strap-on a countless number of times at this point, witnessed firsthand the change in confidence and demeanor simply having the harness fastened onto the younger man’s hips could bring. How Mik’s jaw became set and the mischievous twinkle always in his eyes turned up just an inkling more, and how the planes of his abdomen always framed whatever cock he was wearing in a way that was so tantalizing, Denali almost couldn’t take it. But it didn’t matter how often Mik’s strap brought Denali to his knees; each time was like the first, and tonight was no exception.

“D’you like my new toy, angel?” Mik cooed, stroking along the shaft of the dick waiting between his legs.

It was one Denali felt like he’d seen before, but didn’t remember Mik having - long and thick, with more ridges and a steeper curve than most of the toys Mik had in his collection. In fact, it wasn’t the kind of strap-on Mik usually went for at all. So then…

The memory clicked in Denali’s mind suddenly, his breath catching in his throat as he thought back to about a month ago, remembering just where he’d seen Mik’s new cock before.

Michelada: bbies SOS im dying for a new dick

Michelada: help me pick?

The texts had been followed by three links, different sex stores that were usually their go-tos for toys. Denali remembered perusing each site leisurely, trying to imagine what Mik would look like with each dildo he saw, until finally reaching one that he just couldn’t move on from, one that had looked absolutely perfect and that he’d just known Mik had to have.

One which, perhaps not so coincidentally, was now right in front of him, close enough to touch. And before he could stop himself, he found himself doing just that, reaching forward to wrap his hand around it, feel over its ridges and imagine what they’ll feel like inside of him--

“No,” Rosé slapped Denali’s hand away, coming up behind him to wrap his arms around his waist as he clicked his tongue in disapproval. “What’s the rule, baby boy?”

“Come on ,” Denali groaned impatiently, unhappy with having been cockblocked for the umpteenth time tonight. “Isn’t this supposed to be my gift? Just let me--”

“Gifts can be taken away, sweetheart,” Rosé reminded Denali with a low growl, his grip around the younger queen’s waist tightening. “When you want something, what do you have to do?”

As if to hammer in his point, Rosé wrapped his other hand to rest on Denali’s throat, and Denali swore he could hear Rosé’s breath hitch when he swallowed hard against the older man’s palm.

“Please, Mik, please can I touch your cock?”

Mik smiled, taking Denali’s hand and bringing it to his lips to plant a chaste kiss on it before looking back up at Denali. “Wouldn’t you rather put something other than your hand on it, doll?”

Denali’s eyes widened at the suggestion, and before Mik or Rosé could say anything else, he found himself dropping to his knees, grabbing the toy to hold it steady as he licked his lips. “Whatever you say, daddy .”

Seeing Mik shiver at the title was worth every bit of teasing, and Denali couldn’t help but feel a flash of amusement as he finally wrapped his tongue around the head of Mik’s strap.

Denali suddenly remembered how much he enjoyed doing this when he felt his boyfriend’s hips twitch lightly underneath his fingertips, which were resting on Mik's lower body. Nothing but pleasure shot through his veins at feeling his knees press harshly to the cold floor; Mik's hand pulling on his dark hair the more he took him in; and seeing Rosé palming himself from the corner of his eyes.

He wanted a lot of things from them for his birthday, but right now he didn't want to be anywhere else. He didn't want to do anything other than please his youngest boyfriend while their lover watched them, absolutely enraptured. Rosé seemed on the edge of acting up, barely holding back, and Denali didn't want him to.

Rosé had been right earlier, not that he would admit it out loud. Denali wanted to get riled up until he couldn't think of anything else, and only then have the permission to use them without breaking any rules.

He wanted Rosé to make him beg and Denali knew exactly how to handle it so it would happen. "Daddy," he whined, "wanna feel you too…"

Rosé hummed, coming closer to them and ruffled Mik's hair softly, pulling him forward to bite down on his bottom lip. Denali revelled in the groan that Rosé got from their lover, tilting his head in curiosity when he saw the oldest whisper something in Mik's ear. Denali wasn't too sure of what the other two had talked about, but the mirth he witnessed shining in both their eyes as they turned to him was enough. He stayed still, knowing better than to disobey them so clearly.

He’d only let himself be pulled up to his feet when Rosé grabbed his hand, winked, and dragged them both towards his bedroom. Denali didn't know what he was in for, but he trusted them. He knew he'd have a good time, as long as they were all together, the three of them.

—

Denali was eager to know just how far he could stretch the lines of their rules for the sake of being a birthday boy, and that's exactly what he tried — he escaped Rosé's firm hold on his waist to push an unsuspecting Mik down the large bed, watching his ocean eyes widen. Denali knew he needed to take advantage of their position while he still had the upper hand, and shrugged off his button-up and pants in the same breath. He wasn’t surprised to have Mik’s full attention, gaze riveted on how Denali’s dick fully strained against his underwear, picture completed with the wet spot already there. It wasn't surprising with how teasing his boyfriends had been all damn evening, edging him without any care.

Denali let one thigh slide over, effectively straddling a dazed Mik and watching him intently. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rosé come closer, a warning playing on his traits, and Denali channeled all his inner strength to turn around. He wiggled his finger in what he hoped was a threatening way.

"Stop," Denali said in a rough, low voice. He was pleased to see Rosé freeze, and continued with a smirk, "Sit. Let me have my fun."

As his boyfriend did what he wished, Denali added on to it, "Y'know what? Why don't you take off your clothes, too, you're a bit overdressed between us three."

Even if Rosé’s hazel eyes narrowed dangerously, he still did what was asked of him, and Denali almost got off on that power alone. "Come here," he mumbled, just as awestruck as Mik had been watching him earlier.

To have Rosé so pliant now clearly meant that he would pay for it eventually, but he didn't mind — he barely got to play with them like this, usually more at ease with being at the entire mercy of their whims.

But it was his birthday, and he could still feel the hot shiver running down his spine when Mik had said Denali could use them. Even if his body wanted to get pushed between them as they ravaged him until the night ended, his mind still wanted to enjoy this rare opportunity.

Obsidian and hazel eyes met like a storm, and eventually, Denali won the stare-down, bringing his free hand to push Rosé down his bed too, the older man going willingly. Their eyes never broke contact, and Denali felt the same need to touch him, make him scream his name endlessly, in whichever way he could.

He had all the power now, both of his lovers down under him, with Denali straddling one and loosely pressing the other one down into the mattress. They were watching him with such love and trust, Denali knew all these weeks away were worth it in the end — just so he could be with them. His heart fluttered when Rosé covered his hand with his own warm one, and when Mik gently stroked along his thick thighs.

Now Denali just needed to get to work, having them both waiting eagerly for his next move.

“I think you should go get the lube," he leaned down until his nose was inches away from Mik’s, the urge to kiss him only spurred on by the way Mik was clearly thinking the same thing. The younger queen was angling his face up, slowly and hesitantly craning to try and close the distance between himself and Denali. But Denali wouldn’t let him, stopping him instead with a hand on his throat, a gentle reminder of the task at hand.

“Earn it,” he challenged, and it was both the right and wrong move.

A fire lit up in Mik’s eyes, and he could feel Rosé shift under his hand. He barely had to process it all--Rosé’s hand on his wrist, Mik’s hands on his shoulders, firm pushes and pulls flipping their positions entirely to pin Denali down again.

“Isn’t he cute, Rosie?” Mik chuckled as he began to work his hands over Denali’s body again, trusting Rosé to pin Denali’s wrists down firmly as he continued to tease him. “He still thinks he’s in charge.”

“Silly thing,” Rosé clicked his tongue, though his smile stayed affectionate as he leaned down to nip at Denali’s jaw. “I said we’d spoil you, baby, but that doesn’t mean you’re the boss here.”

“Please—“

“So bad with manners today,” Rosé cut off Denali's would-be protest with another bite to his jaw, a little harder this time. “Please what, baby boy?”

“Please, daddy, please fuck me, open me up for you, fuck, it’s been so long…”

“Good boy.”

With that, Mik slid away to grab lube and a condom, leaving Rosé alone to attend to Denali.

“What do you need from me?” Rosé landed one more soft bite over Denali’s pulse-point before continuing to travel along the line of his neck, kissing and sucking and teasing with little kitten-licks as Denali squirmed underneath him, savouring each and every sensation.

“Your mouth, daddy, please,” he panted breathlessly as Rosé moved to his collarbone, then down over his chest. “Need you on me.”

“You wanna fuck my face, baby?” Rosé raised his head to look up at Denali, but his teasing didn’t stop; he brought a hand to one of Denali’s nipples, tracing over it with his thumb as Denali nodded resolutely. The tension hardly lasted though; as if right on cue, Mik crawled back onto the bed, eyebrows knit in equal parts curiosity and amusement.

“Who’s fucking whose face now?”

"Well, I think Nali wants me to go down on him and use me, but I'm not sure if he’s earned it," chuckled Rosé, letting one of his hands still roam along Denali's upper chest, teasing the base of his throat. "What do you think, baby?"

"I think… and only because it's his birthday, we can entertain some of his demands. Maybe. If he remembers some manners," smirked Mik, sitting cross-legged and watching them.

"Please, I'll be good, I promise," Denali whined pitifully, trying to get back their attention to him. He watched as his boyfriends traded a gaze, and shivered helplessly underneath it.

"Okay, baby — you'll get my mouth, but if I see you trying to fuck it before you get permission, you can be damn sure it's the only thing you're gonna get tonight, birthday or not," Rosé said in a rough, stern voice. "Do you understand?" he asked, starting his descent, hazel eyes focused on Denali's face.

"Yes, daddy, I do," Denali barely managed to get out, as Rosé had started to trail his lips along his aching dick.

He bit down on his tongue, trying to avoid giving them the satisfaction of seeing how far gone he already was, especially after having them rile him up all evening. He took in a large gulp of air, willing his hips to stay down and not buck wildly, knowing Mik would easily call him out from his position. His ocean eyes were focused on them, trailing down from Denali's face to how Rosé was working him — and he knew his boyfriend. He knew Mik was enjoying the show more than he let on; Denali could see it in the tightening of his jaw and the way his fingers flexed on his own thighs.

Almost against his will, Denali let out a loud moan as he caught Mik's eyes at the same time that Rosé firmly took his cock inside his wet mouth, instantly hollowing his cheeks. He felt his hips twitch, and grasped at the blankets to avoid the temptation of guiding Rosé himself. He needed to be good if he wanted to have his rewards, after all.

"Rosie, fuck , don't stop, please, please," he blurted out, and he caught the mischievousness clear in his lover’s eyes.

Denali was sure Rosé would have been smirking if he could have, without a doubt pleased with himself. Conscient that he had slipped earlier, his self-control waning by the minute, Denali turned to Mik with dazed eyes. "Daddy, please, please , can I just guide him? I'm so close and I've been so good, please!"

He watched as Mik came closer to him, dragging his chin upwards, his fingertips lingering gently along his jaw. His boyfriend seemed deep in thought for a second, but he finally nodded after seeing his clear desperation. "You've been good, baby boy; ask him if he still wants to, but you can."

Denali was about to actually ask Rosé when his boyfriend only took Denali’s hands and brought them to his own head and shoulder, winking. Denali groaned as he felt a stronger suck, and he harshly pulled on Rosé strands of hair, his nails scraping along his scalp. His hips canted up, so close as he was, and when Denali felt Rosé's throat relax around his length, he moaned hoarsely. His head fell back on the pillows, and his back arched, absolutely drained. Denali was left a panting mess as Mik slowly stroked along his forearm. Rosé, on the other hand, was watching him with amusement, making a whole show of wiping off his mouth.

“How do you feel, gorgeous?” Rosé came up beside Denali, kissing him gently on the cheek as the other man tried to catch his breath. It was a good question, given just how much Denali was feeling in that moment--spent, happy, relieved, excited. Calm.

“Like I’m ready for more,” he finally said, unable to help the wry smile that curled at the corners of his mouth, and he could tell by the way both his boyfriends hummed in satisfaction that that was exactly what they were hoping to hear.

“Was hoping you’d say that,” Mik winked as he popped open the bottle of lube, squirting some onto his fingers to coat them. “Now scoot up the bed a little and open your legs.”

“Yes, daddy.”

Denali shivered as slick fingers started to circle his hole, then sighed contentedly when Mik finally eased his fingertips in, leaning down to kiss the discomfort away. He’d missed the warmth of Mik’s tongue against his, along with the soft moans he always let out into his mouth. He felt Rosé’s eyes lingering as he watched them make out, his fingers stroking through Denali’s hair to get him to relax even more.

“Fuck, you’re tight,” Mik pushed in a little farther, pumping in and out smoothly while he watched Denali’s face for any signs of discomfort.

But Denali was fine; in fact, he was more than fine. He felt amazing, each rock of Mik’s hand and crook of his fingers sending pleasure that’s almost electric coursing through Denali’s body. But the best part of it all, the sexiest thing Mik was doing?

“You look so pretty like this, baby,” Mik’s eyes shone with love, his voice almost reverent as he scissored his fingers, smiling when Denali let out a mewl. “Taking my fingers so well, so good for me. I love seeing you like this, Nali. Wish I could keep you like this forever.”

God, was that feeling ever mutual.

But Denali was known to be hasty, sometimes even too much for his own good — he wanted more, so much more. He had waited all night for it and yes , coming once already had helped, but not so much when there was something so tantalizing and new he couldn't wait to experience. Denali knew he was supposed to let Mik tease him and play by their rules, but he was struggling to let it play out without doing something. Rosé was far from helping his restraint, too, when he was watching them so intently and letting both his fingertips and his lips roam along their bodies wherever he could reach.

And then Mik crooked his fingers just right, making him whimper loudly, his back arching and hands trying to hold himself steady on his shoulders. "Please," he started, but finished on a breathless moan, as Mik pushed back harsher, and Rosé’s hand brushed against his cock.

"What do you think, Rosie, is he ready for this?"

Denali watched as his two boyfriends eyed each other, seemingly pondering on their next action — if they wanted to take pity on him or make him beg even more. Denali really hoped it would be the first one, because he remembered how Mik’s dick had felt earlier, on his hand and in his mouth. He felt it push against his inner thigh, causing him to tremble lightly. He wanted, no, needed to have him inside, making him see stars as he'd clench around him—

"Look at him, baby. I think he'll snap if we don't give him something soon," smirked Rosé, turning Mik's face to kiss him too, but they didn't have time to deepen it as Denali whined pitifully to get their attention back.

"So needy," cooed Mik, pulling back his fingers finally, kissing the frown off Denali when he suddenly felt empty. "Are you sure you're ready?"

"If you don't fuck me with the dick that I've thought about ever since you fucking bought it in the next thirty seconds, I will never let you touch me again," Denali threatened, hissing in warning when he heard the warm chuckle of Rosé next to him. The older one seemed quite skeptical of what he had said, too. "Don't try me," Denali warned once more, whacking at Rosé's forearm. "Else I'll extend this to you too."

"You're the worst out of us, Nali. Your love language is literally touch. You wouldn't make it," teased Rosé, with that typical smugness.

"Yeah? Wanna see me try it, starting now?!"

However, his threat fell short when he saw Mik hover above him once more, eyes sparkling with mischievousness. "I don't think you wanna start now, this is just starting to get interesting," he advised, his warm hands moving thick thighs farther apart, and Denali lost his breath for a moment. His heart was hammering in his chest with anticipation of Mik's next move.

But it wasn’t Mik who acted first - rather, Rosé reached out to graze his hand down the planes of Denali’s abdomen, fingers scratching down Denali’s stomach and stopping at his pubic bone and lingering there.

“One more time, baby,” he whispered, winking over to Mik before looking down and locking eyes with Denali again. “Be polite, take back your little threat, then we’ll make you feel good.”

There was no way around it; if Denali wanted to be taken care of, he’d have to swallow his pride and do what he was told.

“Touch me. Please ,” he whispered hoarsely, finally giving in to what he’s wanted this entire time. “Touch me. Use me. Ruin me.”

As soon as the words had left his mouth he felt the air in the room change, becoming just a little lighter.

“Let me know if I’m going too fast,” Mik’s voice was gentle, his lips soft and fingers light as he stroked Denali’s cheek, gave him one last kiss. They all knew it was just a gesture--Denali liked it rough, after all, the whole world knew that now--but it was one that meant a lot to Denali just the same.

“Don’t hold back,” he half-ordered, half-pled, and apparently it was all the permission both Mik and Rosé needed.

Denali let out a shaky sigh of relief as Mik finally eased his way in, each ridge and curve of the strap making him shiver as Mik pushed deeper. Meanwhile, Rosé’s hand continued its way down Denali’s body, finally sliding home between his legs to wrap his fingers around Denali’s already-aching cock.

“My, my,” Rosé teased when Denali bucked into the feeling of his lover’s hand on his shaft, only to gasp when Mik began to thrust into him experimentally. “Already excited, are we? Look, Mik, he’s already half-hard again!”

Denali blushed fiercely when Mik looked up and broke into a grin, the sight of his boyfriend’s semi spurring on the rhythm of his thrusts. It was too much, especially when Rosé started to stroke up and down his dick, Mik snapping his hips a little harder to go a little deeper. Denali tried to shy away, tried to hide his face in his hands so that his lovers wouldn't see, but of course neither of them were willing to make it that easy.

“No baby, no being shy,” Mik bit down hard at the juncture of Denali’s neck. “Rosie, make sure he doesn’t get too bashful, yeah?”

It was entirely too easy. Rosé didn’t even break his rhythm stroking Denali’s dick as he grabbed his wrists and brought them up over his head, pinning them down firmly and making it impossible for Denali to wriggle free.

“There we go,” Mik timed his kiss with another thrust and giggled when Denali moaned, trying to squirm for more. “So pretty like this, all blushy and helpless. Doesn’t that feel so much better, angel?”

Denali opened his mouth to answer but Mik picked up speed again, changing his angle slightly, and he found himself lost for words, unable to do anything but mewl as Mik hit up against his spot at a relentless pace.

Stuck between Rosé holding his wrists tightly while he continued stroking him without any trouble even if he squirmed around and Mik still hovering above him and smiling wickedly as he kept his rhythm steady, he wasn't too sure he could last long. Denali could feel the strength of the grasp the youngest had on his hips, knowing that if he kept it up, it would eventually bruise — not that he minded. He enjoyed it. Denali enjoyed it when they left the gentleness behind for a moment, only to rough him up.

He fought vainly against Rosé's hold on his wrist and only got a hum in return, nails digging into his skin. His chest heaved and he arched his back when both his boyfriends decided to go all out at the same time - Rosé twisting his hand just right on his length, lingering on the head to tease him more, and Mik thrusting harshly, his head falling into his neck to moan right against his ear.

"Please," Denali keened, the high-pitched sound resonating against the walls of the otherwise silent apartment.

"Are you gonna come already? Oh baby no, no, that won't do," cooed Rosé, slowing his movements much to the dismay of Denali. He looked desperately at his boyfriend, pleading silently for his cause, but he knew Rosé wouldn't relent, not right now.

"You can hold on a bit longer, no? We just started," Mik smirked, punctuating his statement with a deeper snap of his hips and Denali's head fell back to his pillow. "It will feel better if you let us build it up. Can you do that, baby boy?"

Denali inhaled sharply, trying to recenter himself and not focus entirely on them making him feel so good, on the pleasure building up, but even if he had already come once, the entire night had been enough to rile him up for a good while still.

"Yes, daddy," he answered breathlessly, and he saw the appreciation shine in both his lovers' eyes.

Mik slowed his movements enough for it to feel only teasing inside him, just short of brushing against his spot everytime, and it was driving him absolutely crazy. Added to how he couldn't move his arms, and the lazy strokes of Rosé’s hand against his dick, he just wanted to disobey for once and come now, not later like they wanted.

Denali also knew how it would please them to watch him go wild, trying to keep from misbehaving the best he could. He turned to the only solution he could think of: talking and telling them how he felt, and hopefully it would be enough to distract them from their quest of leading him right into pure madness.

"You feel so good, both of you. Don't want you to ever stop making me feel like this," he started with a hoarse voice, already seeing the effect of it on them. "You’re driving me absolutely insane, please…"

“Tell us just a couple more things,” Mik winked, not breaking his stride, and Denali swallowed hard, waiting to hear whatever idea the youngest had come up with.

“Who’s a pretty boy?”

Fuck. So they were playing this game—not only giving Denali praise but making him praise himself, adding just that touch of humiliation that always put him right on the edge. It was downright cruel, but he was too far gone to fight now. So instead, he played along.

“I am,” he whimpered, earning some faster thrusts and a few flicks of Rosé’s thumb over the head of his cock.

“And who makes the cutest sounds when he’s close?” Rosé followed up, grin positively evil as he quickened his pace a little, making Denali cry out at the overwhelming feeling.

“I do!”

“And who do you belong to, baby, who’re the only ones who can make you feel like this?” Mik was returning to his previous pace now, a fact that was so relieving, Denali almost forgot to answer.

“You, daddy, you and Rosé, only you two make me feel this good, you make me crazy, God, please let me come please—“

“Tell us what you are, sweetheart,” Mik leaned down to whisper in Denali’s ear, his voice taking on a soothing tone when Denali sobbed in response.

“I’m—I—“

Another flick of Rosé’s wrist, a change in Mik’s angle, and Denali couldn’t hold back any longer.

“I’m a good boy, your good boy, please daddy, I need to come so bad, please— oh, oh, fuck, fuck—“

Rosé and Mik must have known he was at his limit, because they didn't ask anymore of him. They just kissed him and praised him and finally, finally told him he could come. Rosé’s hand was painted white with come as Mik continued to fuck Denali through his orgasm, milking out every bit of pleasure they could possibly give him. And by the time he could finally see straight again he didn’t care how tired he was, or how sore, or how much his lovers had tormented him. He was happy and sated, high on pleasure, and he wouldn’t take the feeling back for the world.

He was ready to call it a night, especially after the hectic start of his day, but somehow Denali knew his boyfriends wouldn't stay restless for that long. He just wasn't too sure if he could handle having them all over him for the third time in such a short period, no matter how much he wanted to please them. He felt pleasantly sore all over, and he knew he'd have trouble moving in the next few minutes.

Denali was about to tell Mik and Rosé just that when he heard the rustling of the sheets on the bed, followed quickly by heavy breathing and soft groans. He opened blurry eyes, turning his head towards the side of the mattress.

He was only half surprised to see Rosé hovering above Mik, with the oldest keeping his wrists firmly pinned above his head. Unlike him before, Mik wasn't even trying to squirm underneath their boyfriend, merely trying to kiss him instead, whining when Rosé moved away slightly.

Denali's eyes widened when he caught the free hand of Rosé moving down to Mik's hips, already untying the strap with practiced ease and smirking while doing so. Denali already knew what would happen — he had witnessed it happen so often before with different variations maybe, but it still stayed the same: his boyfriends taking care of each other after he was left fully sated.

He loved to watch them play together and seeing it unfold in front of his curious eyes. They traded roles so easily according to their moods, often without even a need to actually ask out loud. Denali was always eager to know what would happen and this time wasn't an exception.

He had just started to come down to earth, slowly moving himself to sit against the headboard, now with an even better view of his lovers kissing fervently. Rosé was already making a mess out of Mik, and Denali could hear him moan, even if it was slightly muffled.

Denali's dark eyes followed the way Rosé’s arm flexed, relentless with his pacing; he watched as the oldest broke the kiss to tease Mik’s burning skin. When Rosé firmly bit down on his pulse point, Denali could hear Mik pant, finally putting some struggle to the grasp Rosé had on his wrists.

Rosé tutted gently at this, slowing his movements enough to have Mik complain, but Denali figured Rosé was already riled up enough by having taken care of him with Mik earlier, and Rosé promptly picked up back his former speed. From the wicked glint in his eyes, Denali knew Rosé wouldn't stop there and make Mik come just like this, and he sat up straighter against the headboard more than ready to watch them. He wasn't going to miss a single second of it if he had his way.

Denali could feel his body reacting to all he was seeing and hearing, and he hesitantly trailed a hand down his chest, not quite ready to have direct stimulation but also wanting to bank on the warmth he still felt lingering in his lower stomach. And it only increased when Rosé turned a hungry look towards him, licking his lips as he cocked his head towards the youngest.

“Go wild.”

Denali didn’t need to be told twice. They worked in a smooth motion, Denali taking Rosé’s place without so much as a moment gone to waste, kneeling over Mik and boxing him in.

“Can I go down on you?” Denali took his time kissing over Mik’s body, voice full of hope as he whispered the question against his skin. Mik swallowed hard in response, and Denali could practically hear the younger man’s throat as he nodded.

“Need to be opened up, but want your tongue first…”

“Why not both?” Denali winked, and Mik rolled his eyes, but laughed nonetheless.

“Just fuck me already,” he shook his head, still laughing a little.

Denali didn’t have it in him to deny his baby any longer. He began kissing his way down Mik’s body, taking time to explore the places he knew made Mik go wild. And of course it worked—by the time Denali finally made his way to the apex of Mik’s thighs he was nothing but a puddle beneath him, squirming and sighing and very clearly putting effort into keeping his arms on the bed, not grabbing at Denali and pulling his hair like Denali knew he wanted.

“Spread your legs a little wider, angel.”

Denali looked up with wide eyes to see Rosé hovering beside them, hand stroking along his cock as he watched the sight in front of him. With a wink, he tossed Denali their bottle of lube before sitting back on his heels, still stroking himself and waiting.

“I’m not going to deprive you,” Rosé shrugged. “Play with him as much as you’d like, darling. He’ll let us know when he’s ready for me.”

“Please,” Mik added breathlessly, and Denali decided right then and there that he couldn’t wait anymore. He coated his fingers in lube and turned his attention back to Mik, finally setting to work.

Up until then, Denali hadn’t realized just how much he’d taken eating Mik out for granted. How much he’d missed the taste of his boyfriend on his tongue, missed feeling the twitch of his thighs and the buck of his hips under his ministrations. How he’d missed the way Mik’s little sighs and moans clued Denali into exactly what he was feeling as he circled his entrance with wet fingers, easing inside of him slowly and pulling out whimpers that were music to Denali’s ears. He could do this forever, he really could--but he knew that right now, he needed to control himself. Rosé was watching and waiting for Denali’s permission to take over, and Denali wanted nothing more than to see the older man make their boyfriend come undone.

Then again, taking his time meant torture for both of the other men, and after all the shit they’d pulled this evening, didn’t they deserve it?

So he kept going relentlessly, pulling out every move he knew and even trying out some new stuff, until both his boyfriends looked like they were right on the edge of losing control.

Perfect. He had them right where he wanted them — and while he kind of wanted to continue riling them up just for the sheer pettiness of it. For how they had acted all day, Denali also wanted to see them have their moment.

He pulled himself away abruptly, watching with a smirk as his boyfriend helplessly tried to bring him back but to no avail. Denali had already moved back to his original place, easily trading his position with an overly eager Rosé, who had never seemed more ready before. He let one of his hands trail softly along the length of the older one’s arm, their eyes meeting for a few seconds. They shared everything in that simple gaze to be enough that words were unnecessary, but Denali still needed to push through in the near silence of the room, apart from heavy breathing and soft rustling of the sheets. “Take care of him.”

Denali broke into a small grin when he heard the chuckle his boyfriend let out. “You know I always do, but is he really ready?”

“Yes I am, now come on,” Mik loudly whined, grabbing Rosé’s body closer to his own. “And don’t say I’m impatient, just do something!”

Denali watched amusement unfold on Rosé’s expression but he still kept quiet, probably only because he was just as close to losing all his self-control. Denali was well aware that otherwise, Rosé would have just held back to see how much he could get away with before actually fucking him. While neither of them were the best at denying what Mik wanted, both in bed or not, Rosé usually had a better handle on it — especially if the youngest was acting up a bit.

Denali was startled out of his thoughts when he felt a hand squeeze his leg, and he caught smoldering blue eyes watching him. He held his gaze, not wavering when blunt nails dug almost painfully into his skin. Denali only dared to move his eyes away when Mik himself broke their stare down, taking the whole scene in for the first time.

It didn’t matter that he had seen similar scenes so many times before. Something was always fascinating in witnessing his two lovers move so fluidly together, both of them grunting and moaning and whispering sweet nothings at each other between kisses — only for them to enjoy; only for him to see it. Denali watched with rapt attention as one of Rosé’s hands clutched the wrinkled up sheets near Mik’s face, while the other held on to one of his thighs. He was pretty certain that it would come to bruise on his pale skin, but it wasn’t something that bothered any of them.

He watched as one of Mik’s legs hooked around Rosé’s hip, wordlessly encouraging him to continue his actions, as if he would even dare to stop like that. They both were way past the stage of teasing, having taken it out mostly on him before. Denali could see it in how Rosé’s thrusts were already wild and uncontrolled, paces away from the way Mik had controlled his own when Denali had been in his place. He could see it in the thin layer of sweat shining on both their bodies, with how they were both shaking. He could see it in how Mik’s back was arching off the bed, his nails dragging along his leg, only making him more involved in what was happening in front of him — not that Denali wasn’t already with how he was biting down on his already bruised bottom lip, dark eyes focused on them and a hand lazily touching himself.

He had been more or less trying to keep silent and not distract them from their time together, but it was difficult with the kind of show they were putting on for him. Every moan dragged out longer and sounded louder. They purposely exaggerated the deep rocking of their hips so he could clearly see what was happening. It was almost a blessing that Denali had already come twice in a row because otherwise, it would have been a problem. He was more than happy to just give himself a bit of pleasure without any pressure of coming again.

Denali barely caught the rough, low voice of Rosé saying he was close, and his eyes fell to a bright eyed and deeply flustered Mik, knowing without him saying anything that it wouldn’t take that long for him to come either. Not that he needed the indication, with how the indents of his boyfriend’s nails were littered around his leg. Denali was sure he had avoided a few scratches on Rosé’s shoulders and back because of it.

And then he got an idea, a wicked one, and smirked.

“You think you two can come just like this? No, I’m not done watching you yet — it’s still my birthday gift, yeah?”

Denali had to give it to Rosé, he did slow down once his brain caught his words, even if he groaned in displeasure at his intervention. Mik, on the other hand…

“I hate you,” the youngest grumbled, still letting his leg fall off for a second, his head falling back to the pillow now that Rosé was only slowly and shallowly pushing into him. Denali laughed at his misery and shrugged.

“What happened to the ‘we just started’ from earlier? Doesn't that apply to you two as well?”

“Come on, you’re evil,” retorted Rosé, huffing through both annoyance and the strength he needed to keep from bucking wildly as he had been doing before.

“Keep it up and you’re not coming,” he warned in a sickly sweet tone.

“You don’t make the rules —”

“It’s my birthday, I kinda do,” Denali argued, “you two had fun torturing me, so let me do it, too. I’m not that evil, I’m gonna let you come… eventually.”

While neither Mik nor Rosé looked particularly happy about the situation, they didn’t fight Denali any further. He suspected that they couldn’t, not while distracted like this. Their self-inflicted teasing was getting to them both, and Denali felt a spark of smug satisfaction as he watched both of them get closer and closer to cracking. Mik’s cheeks had practically set ablaze with effort and his hips twitched just the slightest bit, clearly unable to lie still completely. That was okay; Denali would give him that at least. After all, the clear effort the younger man was making was surprisingly cute. The fact that he wasn’t quite able to be good, and was unable to control himself completely was even better. Couple that with Rosé’s panting breaths, little whines of need just barely audible underneath that, and it was almost enough to get Denali going again too.

“You both look so precious like this,” he teased a little further as he let his hand wander down slowly between his own legs, beginning to play with himself lazily. “All needy and desperate. Bet it doesn’t feel so good when you’re on the receiving end of it, huh?”

“You like it and you know it,” Rosé retorted, but Mik’s whimper at the taunt betrayed that maybe, just maybe, Denali’s boyfriends were enjoying it just as much.

“Oh, I’m having fun, that’s for sure,” he grinned. “Tell you what, Mik, baby, you’re getting pretty vocal--tell me how you feel, and maybe I’ll let Rosé go a little faster, yeah? It’s only fair, after all.”

He knew he was going to get it the next time they did this, that neither Rosé nor Mik would forget the kind of shit he’d pulled tonight. But he could worry about that tomorrow. Right now, he was set on just enjoying the way Mik was struggling to find his words.

“What, you don’t want more?” he prodded again, grin widening. “Aw, how disappointing. I guess you really can come this way. Okay, Rosie, looks like you’re stuck like this--”

“No, please, fuck , feels so good, but I need more, please, Nali, let me have more?”

Denali couldn’t tell what was hotter--the desperation in Mik’s voice, or the way Rosé looked caught between betrayal and a plea of his own as he looked from Mik back up to Denali, checking for his next move.

“Good boy,” Denali hummed. “Alright, you can fuck for real now. But ,” he added, chest swelling with giddy excitement as he warned, “You both still need to ask to come, and if you don’t come together, then whichever of you would wind up coming last won’t be coming tonight.”

It was a false threat, in reality; Denali planned on pretending to take mercy, to enjoy hearing one of them grovel before he revealed the ruse, if it came to that. But he wasn’t going to let them know that. And in any case, the idea of them coming together?

He couldn’t help but stroke himself a little faster at the thought.

Denali didn't have to wait long to see them fall into action, Rosé instantly picked up back the speed he had from before, while Mik pulled at his hair, getting him closer, almost sobbing in relief. Rosé hummed appreciatively, leaning down even more to capture Mik's little whimpers into his mouth.

Denali let his eyes focus on his two lovers, knowing how close they still were, even when he had interrupted them for a moment. His hand brushed against the head of his cock as he picked up speed, and Denali moaned hoarsely, getting a look from Rosé, and a whimper of his name by Mik.

Denali didn't know if he was going to come once more just by watching them, but he didn't mind. It was enjoyable, and there was almost nothing more satisfying than to witness his two lovers fall off the edge.

He almost lost it himself when Rosé brought a hand down on their boyfriend’s hip, squeezing his bruised inner thigh and making him moan — and Denali might not have had the best point of view with how Mik's raised thigh was hiding it, but he knew what Rosé was doing, and it was more than enough. Especially when the sheer idea of it was mixed up with the high-pitched sounds Mik was letting out now. Denali felt a shiver running down his spine, his chest heaving. Hearing them taking pleasure was always making him crazy, and tonight was no exception. His hips canted up into his tight fist, and he fought to keep his eyes open to watch the scene in front of him unfold until the end.

Denali heard Mik’s scream first, but in his defense, Rosé's moan resonated only a few seconds after, and he stopped stroking himself instantly to the sound, wanting to take it all in without distraction. Vaguely, in the back of his mind, a voice told him they’d disobeyed, hadn’t asked like he’d told them to, but right now, he couldn’t bring himself to care. It was too satisfying to see them both in such pleasure, enjoying each other, enjoying him watching. He didn’t want it any other way.

Both Mik and Rosé were panting loudly, and Mik had his eyes firmly shut, an arm now flung across his eyes as he tried catching his breath under the strength of the orgasm. Rosé on the other hand had more or less no more strength left in his body, falling halfway on top of their boyfriend.

Denali got closer to them, gently stroking along Rosé's spine, the older one arching his back to get more of his touch. He leaned down to push back a few strands of dark hair from Mik's forehead, his boyfriend mumbling something he couldn't pick up. He dropped his body on the bed, staying slightly up on his elbow and waiting for them to come back down fully.

“Hi,” he turned a soft smile towards Mik, who was the first to look up again, the fuzzy, sated bliss in his eyes making Denali’s heart warm.

“ Fuck, that was good, ”  Mik let out a breathy laugh in response, wiping the sweat from his brow as a tired smile broke onto his face.

“You definitely put me through the works, I’ll say that,” Denali teased, stooping down to give the younger man a kiss.

“I think you still aren’t done, though.”

Denali and Mik both turn to Rosé, who in the time since Denali had shifted his focus away had pushed himself up onto his elbow, looking them both up and down with a bemused twinkle in his eye. And for a second, Denali isn’t really sure what he means, until he looks down and--

Oh .

“Huh,” Mik looks down at Denali’s semi, eyes wide with half-shock, half-satisfaction at what he and Rosé had done to their boyfriend. “I gotta say, I knew you were pent up, but three times? I’m impressed.”

Denali blushed fiercely, the heat in his face only intensifying when Mik and Rosé both tittered at his reaction.

“Don’t be embarrassed, baby,” Rosé teased, scooting closer and running a hand up Denali’s thigh. “It’s okay. Here, I know you’re tired--let us take care of you one last time, then we can relax, yeah? How does that sound?”

Denali weighed his options for a moment, but shook his head, unable to stifle a yawn as he did. The truth of the matter was, he already knew he’d be sore tomorrow, especially after everything he’d been through today. He didn’t need to add a broken dick on top of that, since he knew how relentless his boyfriends could be. He’d need to be in tip-top shape for the next week, otherwise he’d never survive.

Besides, there was a part of him that kind of felt like he didn’t actually need anything more, no matter how much his boner tried to say to the contrary. He’d been lavished with attention all evening, every need met for him, and even watching his boyfriends just now--sure, it turned him on, but his satisfaction with the display had gone beyond that. Because it wasn’t just sexy seeing Rosé and Mik fuck, it was also just plain nice for lack of a better word. Hearing Mik’s moans, seeing Rosé’s hips buck in such a wild, yet measured way--it filled Denali with a sense of contentment that was second to none. After all, there was nothing better than seeing Mik and Rosé happy, engaged with and enjoying each other as they played together. In Denali’s mind, that was the real treat of seeing them fuck, so really, did he even need anything else?

“I’m good,” he shrugged, moving up the bed to lie back against the pillow and making grabby-hands at both his boyfriends. “Now c’mere and cuddle me, will you?”

Rosé and Mik both obliged happily without another word.

[anotherescsite]

The Eurovision Song Contest we had to have

The journey from Tel Aviv to Rotterdam was an unexpectedly long one. Who knew that when Duncan Lawrence raised the trophy in May 2019 that another Eurovision Song Contest Grand Final would not take place for another 736 days? Having to wait such a long time between two Eurovision (excluding 2 x Junior contests) was excruciating, soul destroying and plainly depressing. And just like that, Eurovision 2021 has come and has now gone.

As the title says, it is The Eurovision Song Contest we had to have. It is a bold statement and I considered it for a day before putting it there. In reflection the song contest in Rotterdam was a wonderful event for many reasons which I’d like to discuss a bit. So this may take a while, but bear with me and hopefully, I’ll make it worth your while.

THE HOSTS

Four hosts was two too many, but let’s talk about them. Chantal is beautiful and the most professional of the foursome. Jan was the token male and while his performance was contained to a very small potion, it was nevertheless, fine. Edsilia was much more chilled than I expected and provided a warm presence amongst these people. Nikkie was probably the most down to earth of them all, possibly the most personable, but also somehow cold.

In actually effect, while there were four of them, they worked. No one took a lite load but they each had an equal presence in the show. As many other people have mentioned, everyone would have preferred more Edsilia and Nikkie to Jan and Chantal, but I’m not terribly fussed. They were all well practiced and very on point for the event and as a viewer I was pleased by this.

THE STAGE 

Like most Eurovision stages, they do not look like anything unless you turn on the lights. That was definitely the case for this one. The lights were on, the stage sparkled, and the stage was alive in every way that it was asked. The screens provided everything that were needed for each of the songs and other performances. The transparent screen in the middle of the venue added so much to some of the performances and was the masterstroke that made some of them visually exciting.

There was one thing about the stage that felt like they were reminiscing stages of the Dutch past. I felt a hint of the Amsterdam 1970 stage on the sides. I don’t think it was a co-incidence, but I liked the fact that the paid homage like that. Everything else was state of the art.

POSTCARDS

The postcard films were well put together to present a place in the Netherlands, a tiny house structure with items that belong or relate to the act coming up and then a green screen appearance of the act in the tiny house. 

While the postcard as a whole were well put together and cleverly created, I felt I missed out on seeing more of the Netherlands because they were focused more on what was coming and less with the airport, the canal, the lighthouse, the field, the tulips and whatever else was presented. So it’s only a small thing in a small film, but I wanted more of a Netherlands tourism experience in the films.

THE INTERVAL ACTS

It’s a funny thing about this year’s interval acts, and to be completely honest, I happy about it. If you asked a fan about Eurovision 2014, people will say that they remember ‘Love love peace peace’ and Justin Timberlake. In 1994, people remember ‘Riverdance’. In Tel Aviv, there was Madonna. I like that the intervals this year did not overshadow the entrants to the song contest. They were a time filler, a light refreshment and then it was over. For the most part well performed, entertaining and gone before you know it

I recall there was something about water in the first semi final, there was a dancer and a bike in the second, the former winners sang on Rotterdam buildings and some unifying song and dance. Nikkie did some little films about losing, and behaviour in the green room during voting. All were quality performances that were well constructed, organised and presented. They held the viewers attention while we waited for the votes to commence/announcement of the qualifiers and because they were each engaging, they seemed to go quickly.

THE OUTCOME

In most cases, things went as expected in the semi finals. Fans were disappointed with Croatia not qualifying, but I don’t think the betting had them qualifying. Romania was expected to qualify, but Roxen could not sing the song and move at the same time. Ireland suffered the same fate with an impressive staging. Semi final 2 went as expected as well; maybe Austria was expected to get through in place of Albania; i disagree.

The results/placings in the final were a bit of a surprise to me, but there was one certainty for me and that was that Italy deserved their win. There is a very simple reason for it’s success too. It’s not that it was a loud song or that the song was outlandish, or the way they were dressed. The reason that Italy won was that the performance of the song was a natural performance. I’m sure there was choreography of movement, but they were not outside of what they usually do. There was no gimmick, no dance routine, no green screen to worry about, no spinning diamond or large gimmick hanging from the roof of the stadium. It is also why the French entry was such a success and for a lesser part Iceland and Ukraine. Finland and Portugal also presented an entry that was in essence what was expected for that type of song.

Switzerland was a vast success in my eyes. They rolled the dice and they came up on top with the juries. Switzerland have rolled out a prop in the past to highlight a song, but this year they added lighting and camera work to add to the tension of the entry and it worked. Gjon looked a bit clumsy at times, but it was  excellent captivating three minutes.

There were some countries that were dependent on a large prop. Some were there to attract votes as they went with the song while others to distract from it. Russia and Cyprus had several well placed props that worked well and were relevant to the song. Greece had a large invisible prop that made what was a good song appear like a joke entry. Malta had a prop that didn’t make sense to the entry being performed. Bulgaria’s rock was both inspirational and strange to me. Moldova’s revolving diamond worked for her also, but it was just a surface to perform choreography on. 

I want to spend a moment of praise on Serbia and Belgium that had very different performances, but appropriately performed. Serbia took their sexy manic, hair choreographed selves all over the stage gyrating and moving like they had drunk 15 cups of coffee. Belgium, on the other hand, was very intense and sedate in their presentation mainly because most of them were playing instruments that were unmovable. 

Of the countries that retained their choreography from a national final, other than Iceland, was Lithuania. They had varied it only very little from the national final and in their case, the performance was crazy perfection to match the theme of the song.  I was disappointed with Norway, Azerbaijan and Sweden for retaining almost identical choreography to their songs from the film clip/national final, but I wasn’t a big fan of either song in the final. They seemed tired in appearance and in formatting. Azerbaijan needs a further slap for submitting their 2020 song with a new name.

I feel some disappointment for a few of the entrants. I’m going to start with the United Kingdom. Poor James Newman. He had a thumping good song that fans liked. There was enthusiasm from the fans that the UK would do better this year and they did worse. What I find astounding is he does not appear to be a shy person, yet he allowed someone in the United Kingdom delegation to produce that choreography, that outfit and those props for that song. To my ear, James sounded sad and dejected in the final and I was unbelievably disappointed that they didn’t score something from somewhere.

I’m disappointed for San Marino too. Senhit has showed she is a class act and has spent the last year enthusiastically covering Eurovision songs. But at the song contest, she appeared to be a forgotten entrant. Even with the addition of Flo Rida did not give the song some cred. I have a recurring image of Senhit’s shoulders slump and physically shrink on hearing that her efforts accounted for 50 points.

I’m also disappointed for the Netherlands. They most likely did not want to host again and it is a sad curse that countries that host usually end near the bottom of the scoreboard (excluding Super Sweden). But to score so terribly for what was a gloriously performed entry was unconscionable. I praise the Netherlands for choosing such a wonderful cultural performance for the stage.

At the bottom end, Spain and Germany had very different entries, performed with contrasting enthusiasm and it got them both a very low level of support. Spain had the most tired song that was boring as all hell and the presentation of the entry gave the audience nothing in return but a large grey beach ball in the sky. Back to the drawing board?  Germany was destined to fail in March. The charisma and fun of their film was completely missing from the staging and it was never going to go well.

Albania had the misfortune of being ignored, given a terribly bad draw for the second year straight and not given anywhere near the appropriate amount of votes required. Anxhela gave a good stylish and appropriate performance. She was on-point vocally and in her performance on stage.

Israel, on the other hand, was a spectacle. The song was kind of meh, performed with a lot of choreography to distract from it. She did a whistle note; so? I’m sure she had to get noticed somehow with her t-shirt dress, her nude illusion reveal and the headdress she stole from reigning RuPaul Drag race winner, Symone. (Did she not no know where she was coming and who would be watching? Picked that up immediately)

IN CONCLUSION

There is one other things that I have not mentioned so far and it only occurred to me after re-reading some of the above comments. The Dutch were very time conscious. They said they were keeping the final under four hours and they pulled it in and got it done. In my opinion, it was a Eurovision that was very breezy, and very light experience because while the experience of Eurovision was 8 hours of your week watching the shows, this year did not seem like an ordeal. I felt that the shows progressed quickly without fuss or propaganda. As a package it came together well across the board.  

It was a good Eurovision year and had something to cater for the taste of everyone. Some songs were not suited to everyone, but that happens. Below is how I saw this years song’s after the three shows and believe me I have changed it a few times before settling on this list. Looking at it, I want to move them around again.

So that’s it. Next year it will be somewhere in Italy; maybe Turin, maybe Rome, Milan or Bologna. It won’t matter. Feel free to comment, complain, debate. I’m happy to back myself and for you to convince me otherwise. I haven’t got anything else to do. : )

[missjanjie]

I know it's not exactly sugar mommy but HEAR ME OUT: rich business woman Symone needs a companion for this fancy event, she's single and doesn't really bother for dating, so she offers her assistance and long time friend Gigi to join her. They know each other since Symone's career was just starting, they'd hookup sometimes while drunk in that time and are really touchy with each other, but it's just the kind of relationship good friends have. Back to the offer, Gigi obviously agrees, she's really outgoing and loves to party so why not have a good time? And a good time they have indeed, it was a really fun night so they decide to do it regularly, they're friends and it's all light heart so why not enjoy it? Eventually Symone spends a lot more time with Gigi, and within the events and the parties comes the gifts. What damage can a dress, a nice pair of earrings or some couple of shoes do? She's a big spender after all, has expensive taste and it's just to make the pair look good together (or at least that's what she tells the other to convince to accept them) Gigi doesn't really need to be told twice, she loves attention and all her life people had treated her that way, she doesn't do feelings, words or that stuff, so the only love language she knows it's through sex or material things. Symone always tell other people that their not a couple, and Gigi sometimes feels kinda boring at the serious topics their colleagues discuss with her, so she seems pretty content flirting with people that give her compliments, or accepting drinks at the bar and battling her eyelashes to older business women. However, Gigi seems to enjoy the little gestures Symone has with her, not just the material stuff but also how she cares for her, how safe she makes her feel (of course that scares the shit out of her) And Symone doesn't really like the idea of Gigi not being by her side, she founds herself starting to feel jealous of the attention Gigi receives from others and scared that one day she might want to back off the deal. What happens when they start to want more from the other? When feelings start to mix in the perfect solution they had planned?

fake dating, friends to lovers, and rich business woman symone? sign me tf up

[vonlipvig]

pairing up the cabinet members because i say so

ciara/nia: no you don't understand, they're canon to me. you know they're sharing a lot more than a passing glance and fleeting smile at a meeting. your lady ministers are having gay sex at the maroon palace and there's nothing you can do to stop them.

iosef/lileas: i cannot stand them, and they cannot stand each other OR me for that matter, which only goes to show they need to shut the fuck up about their issues and go hook up until they feel better. absolutely nightmarish scenario, but they are made for each other, unfortunately.

symon/gus: they can bond over their shared interest in Making Money, and exchange information about good possible investments while they get wine drunk in symon's villa. what if we both invested in the same football club and we're both boys.

deivid/paskal: just some chill guys having a nice time, honestly. i feel like they'd have a lot of things to talk about since they're both so knowledgeable in their fields, i'd def wanna listen in on their conversations. paskal would get concerned about deivid's health when he starts to cough, tho. take care of my man, paskal.

lucian/petr: someone's going to end up dead and i'm not exactly sure who, but you know it's gonna be entertaining. uptight man who is more punctual than Time itself, and fun-loving easy-going man who can't be on time to save himself? oh they're gonna tear each other TO SHREDS. hot.

[isabelisfun]

drag race commentary

i’m so proud of symone

i love the relationship between everyone already

ooh is nicole wearing a recreation of crystal’s michelle visage look from s12? i love it

there’s not a single queen from the losers circle that i dislike

yup the losers def have the trade-

LMAO UTICA WANTS THE WHOLE CREW

is utica’s ponytail the new crystal mullet

ooh ok we get to do this again good

gurl how do u take that long on makeup-

kahmora stop talking ab ur makeup and actually do it

i love denali there i said it

i live for tamisha’s confessionals

denali’s little “you’ll be ok baby” 🥺

KAHMORA GURL HURRY UP

runway time!! ok so “lady” looks: denali’s look is cute she looks adorable, i am...not a fan of joey’s look i am so sorry 😭, ROSÉ’S LOOK IS AMAZING LIKE REALLY REALLY GOOD, tamisha looks gorgeous and very regal it’s not super creative but it’s pretty nontheless, utica looks so cute it reminds me of some of the girls looks from the ball challenge last season i really like it, guess kahmora made it after all as if she wouldn’t it’s a really cute look tho

vamp: IM OBSESSED WITH DENALIS OMG WOW WOW LIKE JUST EVERYTHING AB IT, joey’s is a little boring i also like her better in a wig but she looks very lesbian so, i also LOVE ROSÉ’S WOAAH THATS REALLY GOOD OMG, tamisha’s is good not my fave but definitely good, kahmora looks good even tho the dress itself isn’t that extra it fits her great and i love her hair and makeup, utica’s is really really good her makeup looks amazing and i love how she took the first look and made it dark

tamisha is such an icon. literally ROYALTY

omg joey is gay? that’s crazy i never knew

the fact that there’s 3 choreographers is good but also bad like it’ll probably be a better number but also a little competing of ideas

kahmora gurl this is not hard

TAMISHA AAH THE CHILDREN ARE EXCITED

this is definitely not going great but they actually have some really good ideas for choreo like if they pull through this is gonna end up with much better choreo than team 1

i love tamisha she’s like everyone’s mom

kahmora gurl- drop this man u deserve better

HER DAUGHTER WAS TANDI? OMG

denali is really good omg-

oh my god this choreo is really good

kahmora seems a little in her head but that’s ok

rosé has a really good voice wbk

I LOVE TAMISHA’S VERSE

ok that was so good omg i hate to say it but that was like 10x better than condragulations

ooh sheer that’s fun ok looks: denali’s is good she looks beautiful and her hair and makeup take it to that level, i like joey’s look again i like her in hair but the look is good, kahmora looks super pretty, i think rosé’s is cute giving me very much rainbow fish, tamisha’s is absolutely STUNNING she looks incredible, utica’s is also really good i love it and her makeup is everything

i love nicole as a judge like a lot

i like michelle in green

tamisha’s smile 🥺

michelle lying era tamisha did great in the challenge

god i can’t get over utica’s makeup

i feel like the judges are trying to be nice because they keep getting criticized for their critiques

YUP DENALI AND ROSÉ DESERVED

THE SONG IS IF U SEEK AMY? OK THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD

ok denali ATE like no offense rosé bae but denali mopped the floor with u

idk something ab the way rosé lip syncs is off-putting to me but denali was so good and she DESERVED THAT WIN

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #444

“the monster you made is wearing the crown  /  i’ll be the king, and you’ll be the clown”

Do you take off from school, or work for your birthday? Ha, I used to try to talk Mom into letting me stay home from school... It only sometimes worked. Have you ever created ‘open when’ letters for someone? No. That'd be cute for an s/o, though. What is the best thing about being in the relationship you’re in right now or about being single? Not having to fear my partner leaving because of the struggles I'm going through. Not having to worry about not being enough for another person, because I'm not even enough for myself. Do you have a favourite painting? Not by a historical artist, no, but there is a piece by a deviantART artist called "Denialism" (by NukeRooster/Tatchit, if you're interested) that I adore so much I've actually gotten her permission to get it tattooed one day when I can afford a brilliant artist to do it. What are some of the best life hacks you know? /shrug What makes you smile without fail? MARK LAUGHING laj;sdkafjwlk;erj Do you know what you’ll be getting your loved ones for the holidays this winter? No clue. That's still a whiles off. What is your biggest short-term goal (within the next month)? Just lose a decent amount of weight for a month's time. What will your next tattoo be of? It depends on what cash I have available, really. As much as it sucks, I think my next tat is a whiles off because I just have more pressing things to pay for. Has anyone very close to you ever died? Besides pets, the closest human to me that's ever died was Jason's mom. If you were throwing your significant other/best friend a themed party, what would the theme be? Uh, Frieza-related, obviously. Do you feel prepared for the apocalypse? I don't believe in the apocalypse in the biblical sense of it being determined by an ultimate power, so this isn't something I really think about. Whenever humanity ends, it ends. I don't have a say, so I may as well not obsess over it. Do you think you will have children naturally, adopt, or forgo having children altogether? I'm not having kids, but if I did, I know that either I'd have to give birth to them or my hypothetical wife would for me to feel *properly* connected to them as a mother should. Oh, or if my male partner had a kid from a previous relationship, but I'd have to be REALLY in love with him to feel like that child is also my own. Do you take pictures of yourself on a daily basis? Oh god no. Do you believe in angels? No, but rather just spirits. Is there anything in your past that you used to regret, but now you don’t? Hm, maybe? Does your knee hurt? My knees always hurt. Has anyone ever called you sexy? Yes. Do you like raisins? omg nooooo What is your favorite bug? Butterflies! :') Do you like Scrabble? Sure, it's fun for a board game. Do you have a printer? Yes. What is your favorite food? Cheeseburgers or pizza, probably. I know, so American. Have you ever overheard a conversation you weren’t supposed to? Yes. Do you like ants? They are very fascinating when you really think about it, but I still find them incredibly annoying. Did you like the movie Antz? I loved it as a kid. Have you ever drank goat milk? No, I don't believe so. What’s your favorite video game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. Do you like cats? I love kitties!!! :') Are goldfish your favorite fish? No. I think my favorite is probably the lionfish. Do you like vanilla pudding? No. I only like chocolate pudding. What is your opinion on gay marriage? I 100% support it and would fight to the death for it. What is your opinion on gay adoption? Don't even fucking look at me if you see a problem with a parentless child finding a home with two people in love. Who was the last person you had a crush on? Sara. What’s the most expensive piece of clothing you own? I have zero clue. Why do you drive the car you have right now? I don't have my own car. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Omg yes and it sucks. Are you friends with your neighbors? No. What is your current desktop picture? One of my favorite pictures of my late pup, Teddy. What’s the coolest thing you’ve seen out the window of an airplane? Mountains! Does your neighbor have any pets? *shrug* Have you ever swam in a mountain lake? No, but that sounds VIBIN'. Has a cat/dog ever thrown up on your bed? alksdjflk;a;jdfalwe yes Have you ever had a concussion? One or two. Do you know anyone who has a pet gecko? Not currently, I think? I want a fat-tailed gecko, though. :( Would you ever go bear hunting? I wouldn't dare hunt ANY animal. Have you ever seen two movies at the theater in a row? I have not. How many teenagers do you know who have babies? I know no teen personally that has a child, but there were some pregnant students in high school. If you could keep your parents or trade them for other parents, which would you pick? I would NEVER change my parents. Is there a piggy bank in the room you’re in? It's not a "piggy" bank, per se, but my sister got me a skull one that she says is for my tattoo funds. :') How many sets of twins do you know? Two, off the very top of my head. If you have younger siblings, are you very protective of them? Yes. No one fucks with her for as long as I live. If you have older siblings, are they very protective of you? Not especially. Who is your favorite Disney Channel person? Uhhh, maybe Raven Symone? How many pets do you have? Just two. Do you think you will be successful in life? No. :/ What do you have pierced? My earlobes, twice, and my bottom lip. I have been dyinnnnggg for some new ones lately. :/ Does techno annoy you as much as it annoys me? No, I actually enjoy quite a bit of techno. What’s your comfort food? Ice cream. Do you like paranormal stuff? YES. Do you have a favorite stuffed toy? Rebel, my adorable meerkat plush from Jason, and Brownie, my moose from Cabela's. What’s the most exciting project you were given? In a way, my senior project since you got to choose your own topic, but I dreaded the presentation. Do you have a good sense of direction? Not at ALL. What are your favorite colour for a cat? Orange! If you had to live your life carrying a shield, what would its design be? This is gonna sound super, super cheesy, but probably a heart to symbolize how love should and could block the effects of hate and general evil and that we should pursue that instead of violence. Out of all the cancers, which one do you think needs to find a cure first? Oh god, they all do. If I had to pick one though, it'd be one of the inevitably fatal kinds, like pancreatic. What are your general afterthoughts when you’ve finished a book? I feel accomplished for actually reading to a story's completion. How many pairs of glasses (not sunglasses) have you owned? Two, I think? What color is your flash-drive? Hot pink. Have you ever built a sand castle? Yeah. How many houses have you lived in? Six. One I have no memory of. Do you shut off the water while you brush your teeth? Yes. What video game should everybody play at least once? Amnesia: A Machine for PIgs for the symbolism. It blows my mind how most horror fans hate it; it's like they totally miss the point. 100 years from now, what modern things will people look back on and say, “WTF?” Hopefully things like homophobia, racism, misogyny, concepts like those. What is impossible to understand until it happens to you? Mental illness, to name only one thing. What fictional food item from a television show, cartoon, movie, or video game have you always wanted to try? Hm. There's a lot that has looked super good, really. What’s something that gets much more hate than it deserves? Nickelback, lmao. What phrases or sayings drive you crazy? "Everything happens for a reason," "it could be worse/some people have it worse," "it's all part of God's plan," "just think positive"... a lot of stuff. Do you have a deviantART? I do, even though Eclipse made it fucking suck. I only really stay because I cling to the dying hope of being at least somewhat successful on there, and I enjoy keeping tabs on the artwork of the hundreds of people I watch there. Who is your favorite character in your favorite movie? Mufasa, even if he doesn't last long in the movie. :''''''( Have you ever been to Germany? No, but I'd love to! What is your favorite holiday? Christmas. Have you ever been ice skating? No. The blades on the skates scare me. Have you ever taken a karate class? No. Do you have any nieces or nephews? I have a lot, if you include my half-siblings' kids. Do you own an Xbox? Nah, I've always been a PlayStation gal. Would you date someone who’s well-known for cheating? Nope. Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of? No. I'd consider their reasons, but ultimately, it's about me loving the person. Could you be in a relationship without sex? Yeah, sure. It's not ideal, but I mean if the other person is just very opposed, I'm certainly not forcing them. Emotional intimacy is more important to me, anyway. Have you ever been “friendzoned”? Yep. :') Briefly, anyway. Jason tried for my sake, but it was VERY short-lived by no one's fault but my own because all I know how to do is fuck shit up when it comes to him. Which “famous couple” is your favorite? LOOK Mark and Amy are FUCKIN GEMS Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship? Pretty fucking much. Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship? I'm submissive by nature. Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated? No, I think it's a cute holiday. Which do you feel is worse of the two to smoke: weed or tobacco? Well, weed has more carcinogens, but at least it has actual health benefits. Who did you last see that you haven’t seen in ages? *shrug* Are you photogenic at all? God no.

[lasting-inkpressions]

I Put A Spell On You (Because You’re Mine) [4/11]

Summary: Denali is in love with her very much straight best friend, but a break up later and one drunken night together changes everything.

Prefer reading it on AO3?

“Here you go Nali, warmed up your tea for you with two spoons of honey, just the way you like it.” Denali looked down at the cup of tea that Rosé slid in front of her, looked up at the older woman and smiled weakly in return. “Thanks Rosie.” She raised the cup to her lips and blew the surface before taking a tentative sip, sighing at the familiar taste. Rosé settled in the seat next to her at the kitchen island, cradling her own cup of coffee.

After Denali’s break down, Rosé had held her for a long while before Denali had pulled away, embarrassed at being seen in her most vulnerable state. She had tried to apologise to Rosé for ruining her top with her tears, but had promptly been shushed. The older woman had pressed a comforting kiss to her forehead and told her to wash up while she warmed up their breakfast.

An hour later, they were now sitting in the kitchen with a few breakfast pastries laid out on the counter with warm cups in their hands.

Denali wasn’t sure how to approach the situation, unsure of how to talk about everything that had happened so far and instead chose to stir her cup of tea listlessly. Rosé herself was silent as she drank her coffee, and Denali could sense the older woman watching her carefully, as if afraid that she would break down again.

The longer the silence dragged on, the harder it felt for either of them to broach the topic.

Shifting uncomfortably in her seat, Denali reached out for one of the pastries on the counter and for the first time, noticed that her new favourite cinnamon rolls were there.

“You went to Paul’s to get these?” Rosé paused mid drink and smiled softly at Denali.

“Yeah, I walked past it and thought that you’d like them. A good pick me up after-“ Face flushing, Rosé cleared her throat and sipped at her coffee.

Denali’s face warmed too, but she smiled back at Rosé. She reached out to take one and bit into it, letting out a sound of appreciation at the cinnamon sweetness flooding her tastebuds. Swallowing, she leaned against Rosé.

“Thanks Rosie.”

And for now, that was enough.

———————

Rosé was packing her bag, trying to figure out how many sets of clothes she should pack when Denali flopped down onto her bed.

“How many swimsuits do you think I should bring?” Rosé raised a brow at the woman perched on her bed, her hands clutching onto a few swimsuits. The two of them were going to the Muse’s lake house for a short get away with their friends tomorrow. It had been a bit of an impromptu decision after Kandy had proudly told her friends that her family had won a boat in a raffle.

(“What the fuck kind of raffle has a boat as the first prize?”

“I don’t give a shit about that, all that matters is that I got a boat now!”

“Kandy, it’s your parent’s boat, not yours.”

“Shut up Mik, no one asked you.”)

“Nali, we’ll only be there for three days, I don’t think you’ll need that many. And besides, you only have one body.” Rosé said as she looked through the clothes she had set aside. Four sets of clothes sounded like a safe number, and now that she thought about it, maybe two swimsuits. Denali pouted at Rosé ignoring her, nudging her with her toe.

“I know, but I have so many new ones and I just can’t decide which ones to bring! Can you help me pick, Rosie?”

Sighing, Rosé turned to look at Denali as she laid out her swimsuits on the bed. She pulled the older woman closer, and Rosé zoned out a little at Denali’s touch.

It had been a few days since their second night together, and they still hadn’t addressed it, instead choosing to keep quiet and ignoring the incident once more. Rosé herself wasn’t sure how to feel about everything. She knew without a doubt that she was physically attracted to Denali, and that she cared deeply for her since they were best friends, but anything more than that? That was still up in the air, and until she knew for certain, she wasn’t exactly keen on talking about it. Besides, Denali hadn’t said anything either. Almost nothing had changed between them, except for the occasional moments when Rosé’s touches would linger longer than they should, or whenever she had to struggle against the urge to touch Denali.

Rosé still had her moments of weakness. Her dreams involving Denali were as explicit as ever, but she wasn’t willing to risk anything based on on her lusting after her best friend.

Not when Denali was so important to her.

“So? Which ones should I bring? No wait, how many are you bringing?”

Rosé cleared her throat, trying not to focus too much on the warmth of Denali’s skin. “I’m bringing two for myself. Probably will let the first one dry in the sun or something if I need to.”

Resisting the urge to rip herself away from Denali or pull her closer, Rosé instead chose to focus on the swimsuits laid before her, which caused her to groan internally. Now she was picturing Denali in each skimpy set, and that did nothing to help Rosé.

“Should I try on each of them for you to see? Would that help?”

Her eyes widened at Denali’s innocent suggestion. God did she want to say yes, and maybe she could help Denali take them off too, preferably with her teeth-

“No, it’s fine. It’ll take too long.”

She picked two at random and passed them to Denali without a second glance. “These two.” Rosé said, throat a little hoarse, before turning away and haphazardly shoving her clothes into her bag.

Denali looked at Rosé, confused for a split second at her behaviour before shrugging, oblivious to older woman’s inner turmoil as she returned to her own room to carry on with her own packing.

Maybe she’d bring an extra one, just in case.

———————

It was going to be a long drive from town to the lake house. The group of friends consisted of eight, and they were split between three cars, so thankfully there hadn’t been a problem with space.

Denali had to wake Rosé up at 5.30am to ensure that they’d be on the road by 6.30am, knowing that she would be a difficult one to rouse so early in the morning. The two had shoved their bags into the trunk after having a quick breakfast of granola bars, piled into Denali’s car and driven off, reaching the Pitstop diner mid way through their drive to meet the others at around 10.30am. The pair had arrived just as Kandy was parking, music blaring with Symone and Mik singing off key to the song. They all converged in the middle of the parking lot in hugs and entered the diner together, knowing that Utica, Olivia and Joey were already there, two adjacent booths secured for the eight of them.

Whenever the eight of them were together in one location, it was always an event. As a group they had ordered several plates of pancakes and waffles and other savoury foods, like sausages and hash browns, with tall glasses of different juices and milkshakes. Olivia had voiced concerns about them suffering a sugar crash later on, which was instantly stopped when Utica playfully kissed her on the cheek, the taller girl having been amused by her almost motherly ways.

The group had been split between two tables, with Utica, Olivia, Joey and Kandy at one table and Rosé, Denali, Symone and Mik at the other. Despite the split, they still managed to pass around the various plates and catch snatches of each other’s conversations, essentially being extremely lively in the almost empty diner. The staff had been more entertained than anything else with the life that was injected into the usually empty place.

Denali was having fun, thankful for the distraction from her own thoughts. She had been happily watching the way Kandy was flirting with Joey, who was trying to act indifferent to the Latina girl, despite the quirk at the corner of his lips. It was no secret that Kandy had the biggest crush on the boy, having drunkenly proclaimed it multiple times. Joey on the other hand had at first been perturbed by her advances, but he had soon warmed up to her, having been charmed by her vivaciousness. Denali remembered one night when Joey had confided to her that he might be catching feelings for the brash girl, but didn’t want to let her know just yet.

She remembered how envious she had felt with how their love story was panning out, and wistfully thought of her and Rosé and how theirs was a fairy tale that would never happen.

A forkful of waffle, sausage and hash brown drizzled in syrup came into view and she blinked, looking at the owner of the hand. “Hey Denali, try this!” Symone said, pushing the fork in her direction. Denali stared at the fork, then looked back at the shorter girl.

“No offence Symone, but this looks like a heart attack waiting to happen.”

Symone laughed, encouraging the other girl. “Trust me babe, you’ll love it. You like dipping your fries in your milkshake right? Think of it like that, mixing the salty and the sweet.”

Denali laughed and leaned forward, taking the forkful of food into her mouth and chewed. The sticky mix of savoury and sweet food made her beam and she nodded vigorously. “You’re right, that’s actually pretty good!”

“Yeah, the perfect combination of sweet and salty, just like how you’re the perfect mix of sweet and spicy, babe.” Denali choked a little before laughing at Symone’s line.

“Girl, where did that come from?”

“Just an observation. Anyone with two eyes would be able to appreciate a cute girl like you.” Symone leaned forward and winked at Denali, causing her to blush. Before she could respond, she felt the weight of an arm being draped around her shoulders and turned to look at Rosé, who had a stiff smile on her face.

“Now Symone, calling Denali cute doesn’t really do her justice. I’d say that she’s a beautiful woman, right Mik?” Denali’s eyes widened at the compliment, her heart skipping a beat. Where was this coming from?

“Absolutely Rosé, she’s gorgeous.” Mik winked at Denali, and she laughed, face flushing even redder at the attention she was getting. She shrugged Rosé’s arm off of her and stood up, missing the look of disappointment from the older woman’s face when she did.

“Well, this gorgeous girl is in need of the bathroom before we leave. Kandy girl, let’s go before you forget, and drive Mik and Symone up the wall with your complaints later.”

Fifteen minutes later, the group left the diner, leaving behind a huge tip to the staff for their troubles, and piled into their respective cars for the remaining drive to their destination.

———————

It was about 2pm when they had finally reached their destination, and everyone had practically rolled out of their cars in relief. After settling down and deciding who was sharing rooms with who, with just a little squabble over Kandy not being able to share a room with Joey (“Not appropriate Kandy. You’re both not even together!” “Not yet we aren’t.” “Hey!”), they decided to spend the remaining time relaxing by the shore. That’s when Mik had the idea to try jumping into the lake from the small cliff that wasn’t too far off. Immediately, Denali had been game for it and tried to pull Rosé to join in.

“Come on Rosie, let’s go! It’ll be fun.” She pleaded, trying to tug the other girl to go with her.

Rosé shook her head, not to be deterred from her position on the lounger. “I don’t know Nali, I’m quite comfortable staying here.” Denali rolled her eyes. “You mean you’re comfortable being boring.”

Rosé gasped in mock offence, clutching at her non-existent pearl necklace. “How very dare you! Now, I’m definitely not going.” The younger girl pouted, trying her best to persuade Rosé by widening her eyes and sticking out her lower lip.

“Pretty please, Rosie?”

The older girl faltered at Denali’s face, but still shook her head, laughing as she ruffled the brunette’s hair, who squawked indignantly at her. “Not a chance, baby.”

Denali pouted sulkily, and was about to drop back onto the lounger next to Rosé when Symone pulled her back up. “Girl, come on! You don’t need Rosé to have fun. Let’s go!” Rosé felt a flash of annoyance at the way Symone was touching Denali, and barely registered that she had indirectly called her boring.

Denali hesitated for a second before shrugging and following Symone and Mik as they moved off. She stopped after a few steps and turned back to Rosé.

“Last chance Rosie, come on!”

Rosé bit her lip, staring at Denali’s outstretched hand before finally conceding.

“Fine.”

Denali beamed when Rosé got up and excitedly grasped her hand, pulling the older girl along with her as they trekked up the grassy hill. Denali rambled as the group climbed up, not noticing that the higher they went, the paler Rosé got. Honestly, the older girl hadn’t actually wanted to go jumping off cliffs anytime soon, no matter how small they were, which was the main reason she had said no. She didn’t know why she had said yes in the first place when Denali had asked the second time, though it probably had something to do with Symone convincing Denali to go with her that had irked Rosé.

She didn’t know why it had annoyed her, but it just did.

When they finally reached the top, Rosé’s hands were feeling a little clammy, despite one of them being held tightly in Denali’s. The younger woman hadn’t noticed and was excitedly watching as Mik jumped off the edge and into the clear water below, followed by Symone. Turning to look at Rosé, her smile faded when she saw her nearly white face and finally realised how cold the hand she was holding felt. She took a step closer to Rosé and took hold of her other hand.

“Rosie, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

Rosé gulped and shook her head, not wanting to seem weak. “I’m fine. I want to do this.” Denali sighed, gripping her hands tighter in response. “No you don’t, you’re afraid of heights. I’m so sorry I forgot about that. I should have known better.” Looking down at how guilt ridden Denali was, Rosé took a deep breath, her mind made up.

“Well, then it’s a good thing that I have you here with me.” Denali frowned. “Are you sure?” Rosé nodded in response, her mind made up. She knew that if Denali was by her side, she could do anything.

“Yes, but can you hold my hand?”

Denali smiled, nodding, and they moved to the edge together. They stared down at the waters below, Mik and Symone shouting encouragements to them. With Rosé’s hand held tightly in Denali’s, they faced each other and counted to three before jumping together. There was a moment where all Rosé could see was Denali’s smile and dimples, her heart full of warmth instead of fear, before they crashed into the water.

———————

“Hey Nali, do you think we have enough marshmallows?”

Denali walked over to the pile of marshmallows in the large bowl that Olivia had in her hands. “Liv, if we had anymore, you and Utica could make a mini fort to sleep in tonight.” Olivia rolled her eyes at the light ribbing from Denali and tossed one at her. “Very funny coming from the one who brought them in the first place. I’m pretty sure there are still at least six unopened jumbo packs.”

“Well, you can never have too much of a good thing.” Denali shrugged, catching the marshmallow Olivia had tossed at her and popped it into her mouth.

They were preparing the snacks in the kitchen for the campfire while the others were outside attempting to make a fire at the pit. She could hear Kandy and Rosé arguing over what music to play on the boombox and giggled. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence that the two tended to butt heads when it came to music.

She turned back to Olivia and noticed how the other girl was staring at her neck.

“Denali, do you have something to tell me? Like is there a new someone in your life that I don’t know about?”

Denali frowned, confused. “Huh? What do you mean?” Olivia tapped at her neck. “It’s a little faint, but I’m pretty sure that’s a hickey right there.” Denali’s eyes widened, and she instinctively covered up the spot with her hand.

“Errr, it’s an old mosquito bite, that’s all.”

“That must have been one hell of a mosquito then.”

Denali cleared her throat and picked up the bowls of snacks on the counter. “Yeah.”

“Did the same mosquito also bite you all over your body? Or was a it swarm?”

“What?”

“When you took off your shirt earlier at the lake, I saw more of those faint marks all over your chest and stomach.”

Denali cursed under her breath, wishing that Olivia wasn’t so observant. She couldn’t exactly tell her that Rosé was the one who had left all those marks on her now, could she? That would make for an awkward conversation that she was definitely not ready to have with anyone, least of all Olivia. She loved the girl, but Olivia had a knack for giving well meaning advice that people were usually not ready to listen to.

“Just an overeager Tinder date, that’s all.” Olivia’s eyebrows shot up. “Tinder? Since when?”

“Since last month.” Exactly when Rosé and her had first slept together, but she wasn’t about to say that since it was a lie anyways.

“Oh. Good for you then. Just be careful okay? Sometimes you can’t be too careful with people you meet on that app.”

“Right, of course.” Denali smiled at Olivia, feeling a little guilty at having to lie to her close friend as they both balanced the multiple bowls of snacks and went outside.

The campfire was roaring and Kandy had clearly won the argument about what music to play by the sounds of it. They set the bowls down and sat down in the remaining empty seats, Olivia with Utica and Denali next to Rosé. As soon as she sat down, she felt the older girl pulling her to her side. Looking over, she felt her heart clench at Rosé’s warm expression, the fire casting a glow on Rosé’s face. Denali had to restrain herself from reaching out to touch her and instead distracted herself by grabbing a skewer and some marshmallows, intent on toasting them.

She listened to the happy banter around her as she roasted the marshmallows over the fire, basking in the warmth of the crackling fire and the weight of Rosé’s arm wrapped around her waist.

For now, this was enough.

———————

Finally a chapter that's a little lighter and not quite as intense or emotional as the others.

[artificialqueens]

Rollerskating Into My Life (Symone x Gigi) - Strawberry

Summary:

“You’re really pretty, too. But I don’t really know how to skate. Balancing is so hard!”

“Let me get a soda and then afterwards I can help you out?” The curly haired girl offered, and Gigi grinned.

Or, Gigi is at Jaida's birthday party and doesn't know anyone else there. Symone changes that.

A/N: Hi! I originally wrote this for the Rare Pair challenge earlier this year, but I never ended up submitting. I reread it yesterday and was like "Wait, I don't hate this!" so I decided that posting it months later was better than never!

Being at a roller rink with half of her grade was not where Gigi wanted to be.

It was her best friend Jaida’s birthday, and she wanted to go roller skating to celebrate. Being fairly popular, she ended up inviting half of their grade to the party, and Gigi, who was not popular in the slightest, knew absolutely no one well enough to want to talk to and she didn’t want to change that.

However, that meant Gigi would spend most of the night by herself as Jaida went around the rink, talking to everyone. Of course, she didn’t blame Jaida, it wouldn’t make sense to invite so many people and then only hang around the redhead. It also didn’t mean that it didn’t suck.

The two arrived together, meaning that Jaida was her ride back home where they would have a sleepover, just the two of them. Just that made showing up to the big party worth it in Gigi’s opinion, but the minutes were dragging on so slowly. She would’ve been out skating to make the time pass faster, but Gigi was incredibly clumsy and could only stay upright for a maximum of twelve seconds. Skating was not her thing.

Sitting at the bar, Gigi’s eyes wandered from watching Jaida and Nicky skate around, to Rock making a fool of herself in front of Jackie and Jan, to two girls that Gigi didn’t think went to their school.

One was a taller brunette and the other was a slightly shorter girl who had curly black hair. Both of the girls were stunning, but Gigi couldn’t take her eyes off of the shorter girl. She was the prettiest girl the ginger had seen in a long time, and she wished they had the confidence to get up and (slowly and carefully) make her way over to her.

Gigi watched as the brunette slipped and fell after attempting to dance to the Dua Lipa song that was playing and instead of helping her friend up, the pretty girl stood there and laughed.

Her smile was so beautiful.

“Whatcha looking at, G?” Jaida’s voice scared the shit out of her, Gigi placed her hand over their heart as she turned to face her best friend.

“Those girls don’t go to our school, I was trying to figure out if they did. But they don’t!”

“Mhm. You should go talk to the one you think is cute.” Jaida always saw right through Gigi.

“Oh, fuck off. You know I won’t.” She rolled her eyes. Gigi was never one to just go up and start conversations with complete strangers, especially ones that she thought were cute.

“Anything is possible! You actually showed up even though I know you would rather be in bed right now.” Jaida reminded her.

“Of course I would go to my best friend’s birthday party! I’m not a monster.”

“I know! It just really means a lot that you showed up. I know being with large groups of people isn’t your cup of tea.”

“Anything for you, but I think Nicky is waiting for you at the soda machine.”

After trying to convince Gigi to get up and say hi to Nicky, Jaida went off to go see her friend by herself. Gigi pulled out her phone, deciding to see if any of the celebrities she followed on Instagram had posted anything within the two hours they had at the roller rink.

“Hiii,” a voice she didn’t recognize said, and Gigi looked up to see that the pretty girl with curly black hair was right in front of her.

“Oh! Hi,” Gigi let out a nervous giggle. The ginger always laughed when she was nervous and absolutely hated it.

“I saw you looking at me earlier, and my friend just ditched me for a questionable boy, so I’d thought I’d come and say hi. I’m Symone.”

What a gorgeous name.

“I’m Gigi. And where are they? The boy probably goes to my school.”

Symone pointed to where her friend was currently trying to dance with a guy Gigi had history with. “Yuck. Your friend better not hit it off with him. He’s gross.”

“Noted. Is there a school event going on or something?” She asked, looking around at the rest of Gigi’s classmates.

“Oh, it’s my best friend’s birthday. She invited like, half of our grade,” the redhead rambled on while Symone nodded, “I think you and your friend are the only people here who aren’t from school.”

Gigi was never up to talking to strangers, but they wanted to keep talking to Symone. Everything about her was perfect and they were not going to fuck it up by being cold.

Symone made her way to the empty seat next to Gigi, “It feels so nice to sit down. I’ve been on my feet all night.”

“You should definitely rest up then.”

“I haven’t seen you on the rink all night though, I’m starting to think that you don’t know how to skate.”

“So you were watching me too?” Gigi questioned, grinning.

“Yeah. You’re pretty cute, Strawberry Shortcake.”

Gigi didn’t know why, but she liked being called that. It wasn’t new or creative in the slightest, but it gave them butterflies. “You’re really pretty, too. But I don’t really know how to skate. Balancing is so hard!”

“Let me get a soda and then afterwards I can help you out?” The curly haired girl offered, and Gigi grinned.

“Sounds amazing.”

____________

Gigi and Symone did a little more than grabbing a soda. They ended up getting pizza too, and spent a little too long sitting there and chatting.

They might have only met Symone an hour prior, but they really liked her. She was kind and funny and actually seemed very interested in getting to know the redhead a little bit more. The darker girl was an extremely slow eater, so they were there for quite a while, engaging in small talk. They both were interested in fashion and hated boys, it was extremely refreshing for Gigi to meet someone that appeared to be similar to her.

When Symone finally finished up her pizza, she got up and reached out to grab the ginger’s hand. Gigi gladly accepted it, and together they made their way to the edge of the rink.

“Okay, I’m gonna let go of your hand and you’re going to try to balance.” Symone explained, and Gigi hesitantly let the girl take her manicured hand away.

They did not stay up for long. After a few seconds, they had to grab the half wall that separated the rink and cafeteria in order to stay upright. “This is hard!” Gigi yelped, blushing when she saw the amused look on Symone’s face.

“You’re not standing right. You’re putting all of your weight on your heel which is why you can’t stand up for very long.”

Gigi tried balancing their whole foot, and Symone adjusted their body so the ginger was leaning slightly forward. “Try that now. You should have an easier time balancing.”

Symone was right. Gigi had completed the first step of learning how to skate, something they probably wouldn’t have been able to figure out on their own.

“Okay, I think I’m ready to skate.”

“Hold onto me, Strawberry Shortcake. I don’t trust you to not fall quite yet,” Symone giggled, holding her hand out and waited for Gigi to grab it.

They went slow at first, carefully watching Gigi as they went around the rink. Halfway around they passed Jaida who was now skating with Dahlia, and Jaida nearly fell over seeing that Gigi had actually talked to the girl she thought was cute.

After two laps, the redhead was fairly confident in her ability to skate around without holding onto Symone; not that she would tell her that. Gigi was enjoying holding Symone’s hand and she did not want to let go anytime soon.

If the dark haired girl felt the same, she was definitely prioritizing teaching her new acquaintance (what were they? Gigi had no clue.) how to roller skate.

By their fourth lap, Symone was starting to catch on, “I don’t think you need my help anymore. I think you just want to hold my hand.”

Being called out flustered Gigi, but they were proud of what they responded, “Am I wrong for not wanting to let go of a pretty girl’s hand?”

Her new love interest pondered for a moment, “I guess you might have a point.”

____________

They ended up spending the rest of the night side by side, skating around and dancing to music. Gigi was much better at roller skating than they were a few hours prior.

Eventually, Symone’s friend made a reappearance and the people who showed up for Jaida’s party slowly started to empty the rink. Gigi knew that it was time to part ways.

“I had a lot of fun tonight. Maybe we could do it again sometime?”

“Depends. Will you pretend to be bad at skating so you have an excuse to hold my hand again?” Symone teased, getting out her phone and opening up the contacts app, pressing ‘new contact’ before handing it to the redhead.

“I’m never living that down, am I?” Gigi giggled, typing in her name and number into the phone that was now in her hand.

She shrugged, “I’m not complaining about someone as cute as you holding my hand, but I also found it amusing.”

After saying their goodbyes to Symone and her friend Rosy, Gigi made their way over to Jaida who was sitting at the bar, typing away on her phone.

“Hey, stranger.”

Their best friend looked up, smiling at them. “You had a lot of fun tonight, huh?”

“I really did. I’m really glad I came.”

Gigi couldn’t wait to see them again.

[fillingthescrapbook]

On Series Finales, Shenanigans, and Sabotage

In this post, I talk about the end of Superstore and WandaVision, the finale of Call Me Kat, the shenanigans of RuPaul's Drag Race, and what feels like sabotage to Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist.

Let's start with the good;

WandaVision delivered a great opening for Marvel's "Phase 4." While it was an amazing exploration of what it means to grieve, the series was also a great essay on what the medium of television means for so many of us who watch: an escape, and a way to process our real-life problems through characters who can have happy endings.

Of course, the show wasn't perfect. While the first half of the series took its time to set the milieu, the characters and their goals, and the tension of things not being what they seem--an impressive juggling act up until the fifth episode--the second half felt a little rushed with no room to let the supporting characters react and breathe. Which, sure, I get that the show called WandaVision would focus on characters named Wanda and Vision, but I felt like they could've given the others more to do?

Like when Wanda was fighting [redacted] and Vision tried to help out, [redacted] was just standing there. Watching. Like, [redacted] had powers too. And they didn't even attempt to do something? Really?

And that's not to mention set-ups for plots that were eventually dropped.

Although, according to interviews, the blame for some of this this falls on the pandemic. In their original timeline, the show would've finished filming and would have been editing the finale before the show premiered. In reality, by the time they started cutting the finale episode, they had already aired four episodes. Which meant they've already planted and aired a few scenes for a certain character to pay off in later episodes. Pay-off that they then decided to cut out because it ultimately felt like filler. Had the pandemic not happened, they might have had time to cut out the foreshadowing from the earlier episodes too.

But even with the faults, and the lack of accountability for certain actions done, WandaVision was ultimately a good show. One that was clearly made with love.

And speaking of shows made with love, let's talk about Superstore and its final act.

I've seen a lot of online feedback that Superstore wasn't as good with Amy gone. I don't agree. Amy (and actress America Ferrera) was the cherry on top of an ice cream sundae--or the sprinkles. She's a great part of a whole, but the product was still great without her. But I have to say: seeing her back in the last two episodes? It made the ending all the more bittersweet.

I will miss this show. I will miss its laughs, its hi-jinx, its resilience...and most of all, its heart. I've said before that if a show could survive without a proper wrap-up it would be Superstore; because it's such a perfect snapshot of real life for many of us. But I'm glad that the people behind the camera, the current show runners Jonathan Green and Gabe Miller, show creator Justin Spitzer, and returning director Ruben Fleischer, came together and gave the shows' fans a bow-tied finale that was full of hope and happiness.

I loved every single thing about the finale except the part that it was the last episode. Because even though I was satisfied with what they gave us? I still wanted more time with the staff of Cloud 9.

Now, let's move on to Call Me Kat.

I was a little iffy about the show when it started. It had some good bits, but it was also peppered with so many not-so-great ones. The pros: Mayim Bialik really made the character her own even in scenes lifted from the show it was based on; Kyla Pratt became a more and more engaging presence as the show went on; episodes that were original to Call Me Kat were both very fun and heartwarming; and it was a show that was unapologetically camp.

As the season went on, I started forgiving the show for things I didn't like (the closing goodbyes, and the imagined Brigitte) and even looked forward to new episodes. But then the season finale happened. And the show brought back one of the things I really didn't like in the first few episodes: the Kat-Max romance.

I do not have a problem with Cheyenne Jackson's acting nor his character. I think Max is great. But only as a friend. Because I just do not see any romantic chemistry between him and Mayim Bialik's Kat. I was happy that the show introduced a new love interest for Kat because I really didn't want her pining for Max the whole series. Sadly, the show switched gears and made Max pine for Kat instead.

It's still not working for me. And I really hate how it came back. Because the first time Max started to see Kat in a different way was when she started dating the new love interest, Oscar. It came off like he was threatened that his back-up plan is now desirable to someone else. And then he doubled down on his "love" for ex-girlfriend Brigitte. Which was initially played earnestly and then became a cover for Max fighting his feelings for Kat. And then the obvious deus-ex-machina in the finale where Kat had no choice but to entertain her crush on Max again.

If Call Me Kat gets a second season--which I hope it does--I hope the show runners realize that Kat and Max don't have to end up together. That they can remain friends and still have that fun dynamic with each other. Because not every friendship need to evolve into romance. (That goes for Kyla Pratt's Randi and Julian Gant's Carter too.)

Now, since we're already on the topic of plot lines being forced into being, let's talk about RuPaul's Drag Race. I started watching this show in its 8th season. It was a reality competition that was fun, funny, colorful, entertaining, and revolves around art. I got hooked. I then watched the two seasons that came after, lost interest in Season 11, and then came back for the twelfth season because of the pandemic and found it a little fun again. And then Season 13 happened. And I can't believe the show I started watching because I enjoyed the laughs became a show I now hate-watch.

I don't know what happened behind the scenes after Season 9, but there is something terribly off with how RuPaul's Drag Race has been produced since then. There's more emphasis on drama that isn't really dealt with properly, there's obvious favoritism, and there's a great disconnect between what the judges are seeing and what is being presented to television viewers. And yet I continue to watch.

Let's just say: I'm hoping either Symone or Rosé wins. But let's be honest: the producers of RuPaul's Drag Race is setting Gottmik up for the win as the first transman to compete. Which I feel is unfair. Because while Gottmik is great, Rosé has more nerve and talent while Symone has the charisma and uniqueness.

And finally: Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist and the sabotage, self-inflicted and otherwise, that's ringing the death knell for the show.

The first season was lightning in a bottle. While it was by no means perfect, it had so much heart that it didn't matter. We wanted to root for Zoey even when we knew that she couldn't realistically have it all. The core of the show was that Zoey cared. Too much as some characters would say. But because she cared, we cared. In comparison, Season two Zoey feels like a completely different person when her plot line has nothing to do with her father.

I can't help but feel that the show sabotaged itself by splitting the show into two: the one that's about Zoey, and the other one that's about Mo and Max's business venture. Zoey's plot lines, while not all stellar, still felt like it had the DNA of the first season. Mo and Max's feels like a completely different show that's airing simultaneously with Zoey's--with the occasional crossover when Zoey needs to talk with either one of them.

It didn't feel that way when it started though. But episode by episode, the business venture just started to separate more and more. And instead of drawing Mo and Max back to Zoey's show, the writers just kept pushing Zoey to visit their world instead.

The recent episode, where Zoey wanted to recapture the feeling she had when watching a celestial event with her dad, was the first time the show felt anything remotely like the one I watched last year. We see Zoey caring about other people, we see her struggling to balance her own needs with others--and we see her actually trying to process her emotions again. And it just had to happen in the first episode on a new time slot that's barely been promoted.

So after Zoey’s self-sabotaged, now it's their network's turn to sabotage the show by putting it in a time slot with stronger competition--while not bothering to promote the heck out of the move. This feels like the network has already made a decision not to renew the show for a third season, and the episodes left to air are the last ones we're getting. And that Zoey's not gonna get a second chance to go back to the show that it once was.

I can't even feel sad though. Because I feel like I already saw the show I loved last year slowly die right in front of my eyes.

[totallypathet]

Episode Seven

I am being very inconsistent with my breakdowns this season. Both with Drag Race and in general 😂

Anyway, the reading challenge! We love the reading challenge. Nearly everyone had at least 1 good roast, except for Miss Elliott. I dont know what she was trying to do, but none of it worked. On the plus side though, Gottmik was hilarious? I just wasn't expecting that from her, but I love it. Honestly though I think my favourite was Olivia Lux's "Kandy Ho...wait, I mean Kandy is a hoe" that was so funny! Rosé and Denali were also really funny, but I kind of loved everyone else's reads for Rosé, I feel like she brought out the best in people 😂

I wasn't super excited for Bossy Rossy to come back. I just think improv is *so* hard, and it's really easy to be tripped up. Having said that, I actually really enjoyed this episode. I felt like all the scenarios were just so ridiculous that actually it worked in everyone's favour.

1. Denali

Denali was so funny this week! I was not expecting physical comedy from her and Rosé, but they absolutely killed it. The outfits and the voices were properly giving me Jerry Springer, and omg PREGNANTE just killed me! They were actually genuinely funny!

And her look this week...I actually gasped when she turned the corner. It was such a beautiful look, and I really felt that like grand chandelier thing she was going for. I loved it, and I think Denali should have been top 3 this week instead of Kandy. The judges are sleeping on Denali and I don't get it. I think she's great!

2. Elliott with Two Ts

I barely even want to talk about Elliott this week. Nothing she did was funny. Nothing she did this week was enjoyable. She was bad in the sketch. The runway look was ugly and tacky. I'm bored. She wasn't even that good in the lipsync, I do not understand why she's still there.

I mean, I feel for her with her struggle with depression, that's really hard, and I know that it does isolate you from people, and I understand why she's been very detached from the rest of the cast. I feel for her, and I really hope she has a good support system around her; but her performance this week (and every other week) was still bad.

3. Gottmik

Gottmik was actually so funny this week. She really was that like soft spoken, condescending, hand gestures, "active listening" faux-psychologist; I loved it. I really bought the character, I thought she was funny, she worked really well with Olivia, and also that look? The pink suit? Amazing. Also she had so many little throwaway mime one liners that were so clever! She was kind of unfortunate in that Olivia was really the standout performer in that group, and that other groups also performed really well, because I think she was a real contender for top 3 this week.

I looooved Gottmik's runway. The big anal bead hair piece? Amazing. And the dress being all that one colour, but with the texture of the beads and the latex? Perfect. And the way she painted her face! I just loved it, it was beads in a really unconventional way, and I love that about Gottmik, she always brings her perspective. The only thing, and it is such a teeny tiny thing, is that I wish the shoes had had more of a "round" feeling? Like everything else felt like latex balls and then the shoes were just like red pumps. I wish they'd been more like those McQueen heels Gaga wore, that were really rounded? It's such a small thing though, like the look was perfect, I'm just being super picky!

4. Kandy Muse

I dont really understand why Kandy was top 3 this week. I do like that she tried something different, and I like that she was aiming for this very cold, Paris Hilton type thing, but I just don't think she went far enough with it. The sketch as a whole was funny, but for me the humour came from Symone.

The look this week though. Kandy Muse has never looked better. She looked amazing! That big hat, with the big fur stole, and the beads just dripping off everything, it was so perfect. I just loved it.

5. Lala Ri

I actually don't think Lala was that bad this week! Was she utterly hilarious in her performance? No, but improv is hard, and she gave it her absolute best. I actually thought she was pretty funny, I loved the pregnancy belly being totally the wrong skin colour, I thought the trust fall thing was a really funny idea, I dont think she did too badly! Also, there was a moment right before the trust fall where she was counting Rosé in, and she just went "one, FALL", and that was so much funnier than they gave it credit for. For me, it was a safe performance.

I also really liked her look! It immediately gave me beads, I loved the kind of carnivale presentation she gave, I enjoyed it! Okay, the body suit had a rip in it, but sometimes shit happens when you're putting on a garment okay? I forgive the rip. I do get that, okay, it's a body suit with basically a beaded bikini, I see that. But honestly, I just don't think anything Lala did this week was THAT bad. It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. I just felt safe to me.

Lala didn't deserve to go this week. She was better than Elliott in the challenge, her runway look was better than Eliott's, and she beat Elliott in the lipsync. I do not understand the judging on this show. Bottom 2 should have been Utica and Elliott, and Elliott should have gone.

6. Olivia Lux

Olivia made me so happy this week. I mean, she makes me happy every week, I am fully an Olivia Stan, but oh my god. She killed it this week! She said like 3 words the whole time, but I could barely take my eyes off her! When they were talking through parts in the work room, I was ao worried about her, and I was so concerned that she'd fade into the background because she couldn't talk, but holy shit she was so funny! She had the energy, she went so over the top with her actions, I was not at all expecting that slapstick type funny from her but she delivered. Olivia's performance was absolutely my favourite this week, I was just so blown away by her.

Also, that runway look was amazing! I loved her interpretation of beads, it was so cute, and so fun, and she really embodied that kind of pre-teen joy and care-free spirit. I just loved it. It seems like she's worked a lot with Mondo Guerra on her runway looks this season, which I live, because I adore Mondo, and every week I can't wait to see what she's wearing!

7. Rosé

I was really impressed with Rosé! Her and Denali were so funny together, and Rosé in particular was really funny with "Jared", like she never forgot that there was meant to be an invisible boyfriend next to her; she was holding his hand, she looked at him like he was really there, it was amazing. I was genuinely really impressed with Rosé this week.

Where I felt like she fell down a little bit was with her runway. Was it cute? Absolutely. Was it amazing? No. It just didn't give me anything, I didn't get a story, or a character, or a feeling, it was just "oh, that looks good". Which is fine, but it doesn't win challenges, you know?

8. Symone

Deboooorah! I loved Symone this week. I actually loved that their sketch wasn't massive high energy and screaming and yelling, because that wasn't the characters they were given. They did such an amazing job of being the child stars crying on Oprah's sofa type characters, and I actually loved it. Also, the candle thing was hysterical, Symone holding a candle that says "desperation" and crying was just so funny to me. She absolutely sold me the character, I was really getting a Real Housewives moment where they're like "I'm starting my own business where I'm going to make my own candles!" And then they get really emotional about it. I loved it so much, she was hilarious this week.

And Symone's look! My flatmate and I were literally applauding in our front room. It was perfect. It was beautifully made, all the proportions were perfect, the colour palette was gorgeous, the attention to detail was everything, I loved it so much. AND SHE HAD HER NAME IN HER HAIR! The beads in her hair spelled out SYMONE. Everything about it was perfect.

I really couldn't pick this week whether Symone or Olivia was going to win, and honestly I didn't mind either way. They were both just so incredible.

9. Tina Burner

You guys. I am bored of Tina Burner. I can't believe I'm saying it either. But she walked in being really like campy and fun, and then just sort of flatlined. I didn't think she was that funny this week. Even next to Elliott, the least funny queen in the whole line up, she didn't seem like the funny one. I am disappointed. The only bit of their sketch that was funny was them fighting with the huge ass and tits. That was just so ridiculous that it was funny.

I'll tell you what else, I've already forgotten what she wore on the runway. I watched this episode less than 24 hours ago, and yet I've got to go back and watch it again so I remember Tina. And then I remembered why it didn't stick in my mind. I don't know what she was thinking but...she's lucky the judges liked her challenge performance. Also, it looked like a worse version of Crystal Methyd's entrance look with some beads stuck on. Didn't get it, didnt like it, still waiting for Tina to wear something good on the runway.

The one thing I will say about Tina this week is that we really saw her be a human with Elliott, and I really loved that. That was the first time this season that I've really liked Tina. I appreciate that she gave Elliott that pep talk, and that she said that thing in her confessional about being a bit judgmental and feeling guilty about it, I really appreciated that, and I feel like we saw a real person. I want more of that!

10. Utica

Utica... I don't think she's long for this competition, I'm afraid. She literally started this week saying she's a scene stealer, and she does improv regularly, and she was really excited for this challenge...what happened? I was lost, during her whole performance. First of all, she was supposed to be Olivia's mum, hadn't seen her for 20 years, but she came out looking like a 19 year old? I think she was aiming for that like "mutton dressed as lamb" type look, those mom's who are like "me and my daughter always get confused for sisters!" thing, but she didn't go far enough with it. It just didn't work. And then the Starbucks thing? Didn't get that either. The one thing I will give her is I loved that she shushed Olivia when Olivia was like copying the hand gestures in a really mocking way, I thought that was so funny. But other than that... Utica should have been lipsyncing this week, honestly. She wasn't funny. Where were the jokes??

The only things that saved her this week was the look. It was stunning. I dont really know what else to say about it, because it was just gorgeous. It was beautiful, but a bit twisted and freaky, and tragic all in one. Stunning.

The other thing I want to say about this week is that moment when they were doing makeup, and Kandy was being Maury, and Lala was running around the workroom having just been told Tina was not the father of her children, followed by Mik the camera operator and Elliott the sound tech? Hilarious. That was the funniest bit of the whole episode, I was creasing 👌👌

For me, the top 2 of the season are Olivia and Symone. I've thought that since the very first episode, and honestly, the others are great (mostly), but to me they just aren't on the same level as Olivia and Symone. They're just both amazing, they're so funny, and so talented, and incredible performers, and absolute Stars on the runway.

[prynnehesters]

i think the drag race finale was ok. i think s13 is equivalent to like...s7 in terms of my enjoyment. it's not a god tier season, but it's not absolutely horrid/super rigged. there were certain episodes i enjoyed more than others.

things i enjoyed

phenomenon

100% pure love (and chicago drag excellence)

the snatch game was honestly the best one since s7 (s12 only 2 people were funny and then s11 no one was funny...w this one 4 people were consistently funny)

it is a very quotable season (as are many drag race seasons...but i mean this one...gagatrondra...flopiana...legit anything tamisha or lala said)

the joey jay flashbacks (in general kandy having a crush on joey jay)

most of the lip syncs were pretty good (this could veer into bad/neutral because a lot of them seemed like they could go either way, but like, they were consistently good whereas s12 there were a few lipsyncs where i was very close to turning off my tv because they were boring/bad)

most of the bonus content that came out was pretty good (mik's makeup tutorials, denali's dance videos, etc.)

lala ri winning miss congeniality (tbh i fully expected olivia to win it based on how the show set her up, but like, lala deserved it for being funny and genuine and sweet)

i think crowning symone was the right choice because she is unapologetically herself and it was reflected heavily in the show. her fashion/concepts are amazing, she is naturally charismatic, and in general, i feel like she is a good representative of what the show and brand stand for

things i didn't enjoy

the first episode. it felt so mean/like a set up. there are so many reasons it didn't work. and the fact that we knew it was coming was like...kind of not helpful? idk. also there seemed to be no stakes in the lip syncs considering no one was going to immediately go home (that would've been a gag tho, but like, i think it doesn't work for a show like drag race in comparison to something like worst cooks in america)

blatant bias towards mik bcuz of tokenism/them being well known (but i mean, i did enjoy mik bcuz she was funny/had good fashion)

the fact that it was blatantly obvious that 2 queens were trying to be miss congeniality (neither of them got it so...they both also got weird/annoying edits)

there was drama, but the pacing of the drama was not good and a lot of storylines were kind of left hanging (they set up rose vs olivia/tina, but didn't really go anywhere with it. same w tamisha vs kandy...that was a one ep thing, then tamisha forgave kandy when she was eliminated but like...there was no payoff. there was even tina v elliott, but even that got a mediocre payoff. kandy mik and tina were set up as diet rolaskatox but that didn't go anywhere lol...kandy was given more of an instigator/narrator edit, mik was given a positive edit, and tina was given a relatively negative edit/it didn't seem like production liked her)

some of the edits were kind of weird/mean (olivia, kandy, utica, elliott come to mind. olivia seemed sweet but they were like "secret diva" and utica was dorky and fun in her promo but she had some issues/worries about social justice/how she'd be perceived and then that was thrown out the window. normally i like the weird quirky queens, but like, utica has an eye for style, she just seems too weird for me lmao. elliott got the "feel bad for me/underdog" edit but like, they were apparently a bigot...)

how obvious the season was set up (u knew symone was gonna win, u knew mik/kandy would make it to top 4...yeah)

the twists in general were not good

the fact that they put the covid special in the middle of the season

the roast was not that good (i think because it was legit like 3 people in the audience + the 3 congenialities)

the rusical was not good (symone honestly had the boppiest song and the fact that she didn't do it justice was upsetting...and in general, the concept was meh. russian hackers were the best part lol)

i think the first episode set up more problems than they hoped for, but it'll be some good all stars storylines (im mainly talking about rose and denali)

the reunion didn't feel like a reunion because they didn't really have a conversation. it was just all the queens talking with ru/answering fan questions. the top4 were just going to do rehearsals for the finale. they had performances from the queens, but it honestly felt more like the halloween special for the s12 people. idk. it just felt weird.

no puppet challenge

the fandom sucks and they were total assholes to kandy.

the finale felt like a parody of itself. ru did a dance number (weird, never happens, she was very stiff, it felt forced), then the top4 had like, a ball type thing where they walked in outfits that cost more than my college tuition (like...at that point, they were waaaay too fancy to be drag outfits), then they had the lip syncs and it was super obvious that rose, mik, and symone all had reveals. kandy i was not expecting it. but you can't out do sasha velour. even for the second lipsync, it was super obvious symone had a reveal and kandy surprised us with one lol. idk...based on that, kandy should've won.

yeah, it was ok. just weird pacing. we'll see where s14 goes

[thesassysausage]

Drag Race top contestant score board? Decided to try doing one to see who’d win each season if the finale contestants were judged based on a point system. I followed Wikipedia, because I dont feel like going through every season and marking down everything as I watched so my system goes like this with the award/taken points in brackets: Winner (2), High* (1), Safe (0), Low** (-1), bottom 2 (-2). Im also ignoring Lip sync for the crown, because that doesnt mesh with a point system, and not including All-stars because maybe later...also season 12 and 13 have a modification which ill note when I get there.

*High refers to getting positive critiques but not actually winning the challenge

**Low refers to getting poor critiques but not being chosen for elimination

So Season1: We see BeBe Zahara Bennet win over Nina Flowers, but because BeBe had to lip sync during the season she actually scores only 3 points to Nina’s 5. So the point based winner would have been Nina Flowers

Season 2: Tyra Sanchez wins the competition over Raven...and that also occurs in the point based system. Tyra would have earned a total of 8 points where as Raven only earned 3. Raven could always win all stars if Ru doesnt mind doing their own make up for a season.

Season 3: What’s interesting here...is that Manilla Luzon and Raja both score 7 points, which means by a point system season 3 would have had a double crowning.

Season 4: This season brought up a final 3 instead of having one queen eliminated on the episode of the crowning. Sharon Needles still wins the competition, despite how wonderful Chad may have been. Sharon earned 8 points to Chad’s 6, while Phi Phi becomes the bronze (no pun intented...but it works) medalist with 3 points.

Season 5: I honestly expected this season to have a different winner based on the point system, but I was mistaken. Jinkx Monsoon, even with having to Lip Sync for her life, managed to win with 8 points with Alaska placing 2nd with 6 points and Roxxxy Andrews gaining 4.

Season 6: Bianca won by a landslide, the bitch scored 10 points while the 2nd place contestant, Courtney Act managed 4 points, while Adore scored 2. Great Season all around

Season 7: Here’s a “fun” season, I actually checked out the last person eliminated to compare to the third place contestant and...Kennedy Davenport should not have been eliminated prior to the finale. Pearl received 0 points because of their up and down track record where as Kennedy, prior to being eliminated (which honestly is the last episode anyone could gain or lose points), had 5 points making her tie with second place contestant Ginger Minj. The winner, like in the actual series, was Violet Chachki who is so much more likable and funny off Drag Race.

Season 8: I’ll admit, I always though Kim Chi might have had a slightly better score card than Bob the Drag Queen but I was mistaken...They were even. Both Bob and Kim earned a total of 4 points which by points means a double crowning, with runner up, Naomi Smalls, earning 2 points. (it should be noted season 8 was the shortest season since season 2)

Season 9: Here we get into the Lip Sync for the crown and, again, I am ignoring those results. Points here (and for seasons 10, 11, and 12) are based on the competition prior to the finale (and the catch up with the Queens episode). I am sure it’s no surprise that Shea Coulee won the season by points, scoring a total of 9 points to Sasha Velour’s 8, Trinity’s 4, and Peppermint’s...well 0. Honestly though I am still gagging over the rose petals.

Season 10: As much as I enjoy Kameron Michaels and can’t wait for them to be on All Stars, they should not have been in the finale...Miz Cracker had 4 points before she lost the Lip Sync to Kameron...mind you Miz Cracker definitely lost to the Lip sync assassin of season 10...like Miz Cracker did great but Kameron is an insanely good performer to the point that I actually thought she might win the whole competition. Aquaria however did win, both in my make believe point setting, and in the actual show. She scored a total of 5 points, and showed they were also a lethal Lip Syncer. Following behind her was Eureka O’Hara with a score of 4 and then Asia O’Hara with 2.

Season 11: I’d like to state that I love Yvie, I think Yvie is great...but Yvie should not have been crowned. She is definitely runner up, but Yvie Oddly only scored 4 points (and I think did just slightly worse in the Lip Sync for the crown) which places her in Second. Tied for third is Silk Nutmeg Ganche (i feel like her name should be all caps to honour how loud she is) and A’keira Chanel Davenport with 3 points each. Our point based winner, and the Queen of the North, is Brooke Lynn Hytes with 6 points...but being a Canadian I am not surprised she lost since I’m sure Canada’s Drag Race was in preproduction with Brooke Lynn in talks to sit as a judge and no way is a season winner also going to sit as a judge on a new franchise.

Season 12: So this season had 2 debuts with the top queens Lip Syncing for the Win...I decided to count the top 2 as being winners but the one that won the Lip Sync gets an extra point for winning. I also switched out the queen who will not be named with Jackie Cox, which is what I hoped would happen...cuz then it would be a top 4 again and an easier Lip sync for the crown. However I then regretted my decision because Jackie was still in last places with -2 points...Sorry Jackie, can’t wait to see you win an All Stars season. In first place we see GiGi Goode over Jaida Essense Hall in the point system, score 9 points to Jaida’s 7...literally they would have been tied had Jaida not lip sank. The lovable Crystal Methyd comes in third with 3 points.

SPOILERS BELOW

Season 13: I again used the same lip sync for the win points that I did for season 12, but I added a single point addition if a Queen won that episode 1 lip sync...no points removed because, unlike Tamisha, I knew it wasnt gunna be the end for those queens...they were all safe. We are not in the finale yet but currently the challenges are done so I’m using this more to predicts and give my opinion. By points Rose is leading the pack by a synthetic wig hair with 11 points, followed by Symone with 10. Personally I think the crown should be going to one of them and I would argue for Rose considering she has had a better track record...but I’d still be happy with Symone because she is just fantastic and a character. The next highest person is Gottmik, who could potentially win. Gottmik does not have a lot of Lip sync experience but did beat out the season assassin, Utica, in the first episode. Personally I’d love it if Gottmik won because it shows that trans people have a place in drag and may even open up the competition to other trans queens, including those (like myself) that identify as a trans woman and performs as a Drag Queen. So far, she has 8 points, and would be third place in my system but, I love Gottmik. Finally we have Kandy Muse...I love her, she’s loud and funny but also has levels so its not a headache watching her (looking at you, Silky). However Kandy has -1 points...but being a fierce Lip syncer she might still win the competition...but I wouldnt be happy even though it would then, FINALLY, be a plus size winner.

TL;DR

I did a point system for RuPaul’s Drag Race and figured out who would have won based on that system.

Season 1: Nina Flowers

Season 2: Tyra Sanchez

Season 3: Raja and Manilla Luzon double crowning

Season 4: Sharon Needles

Season 5: Jinkx Monsoon

Season 6: Bianca Del Rio

Season 7: Violet Chachki

Season 8: Bob the Drag Queen and Kim Chi double crowning

Season 9: Shea Coulee

Season 10: Aquaria

Season 11: Brooke Lynn Hytes

Season 12: GiGi Goode

Season 13: Rose but I also gave my opinions since the finale hasnt happened yet.