#this was on my drafts legit forever

[isalabells]

[autistme]

Laura Jane Grace explaining the connection between the songs The Disco Before the Breakdown, Searching for a Former Clarity, and The Ocean in a QnA in 2008 and in her book in 2016

[ceedak]

can we get a ceedak timeline 🤔 i feel like there’s a lot idk abt them fr 😭😭

yes u absolutely can i could talk about them forever and ever 🥳🥳

disclaimer: i do wanna say this is just from what i’ve gathered because i didn’t become super fixated on nfl rpf until last year </3 one day i’ll do a legit deep dive like an insane person and update with all my findings…

second disclaimer: im delusional yes and a part of me straight up thinks that they’ve had to have hooked up at least once bc i love to psychoanalyze people i'll never meet but i’ll make sure to say when i’m being fully delusional KSDJFHSKDS

putting it under a read more because i’m sure it’ll be much longer than necessary

also i will reblog this and add links to some videos!!

SO before i get into like when ceedee was drafted and such i wanna talk about how invisible string coded they are because i love shit like this sm

both were born in louisiana only about an hour and a half apart from each other until ceedee moved to texas as a child after hurricane katrina hit (he’s said he’s moved around a couple of times as kid in interviews before)

dak went to mississippi st. in college and ceedee’s dream school was LSU (rival colleges… 🚬) but he had committed to oklahoma (also they wouldn’t have met or anything in college anyway because dak was drafted in 2016 and ceedee started playing in college in 2017 but i digress it makes my brain light up anyway lol)

when dak was drafted he was projected to go like late second round/early third round of the draft but 🗿 he got into some trouble beforehand (driving under the influence) and ended up falling to the 4th round (after the front office kept trying to trade up to get a different backup QB)

dak also had to compete for his spot as a backup and was named starter after romo was injured in 2016. this was dak’s rookie year and he led them to the playoffs - almost to the nfc championship game. after this he basically took the job from romo

okay so FAST FORWARD to the 2020 draft. ceedee was projected to go top 10 and he fell all the way to SEVENTEEN so the cowboys were able to grab him then (drafted bpa instead of for need)

idk all of this is just very <333 to me that so many things managed to fall into place just right and they managed to find each other on the same team out of THIRTY TWO teams it makes me weeeep 🤧 also just something else that i think is very cute because i truly am a little insane: ceedee was born april 8th and dak’s jersey number is 4 and ceedee’s is 88 so 4/8 ALL THE DOTS CONNECT SOMEHOW…

so we’ll go through a teensy bit about dak i suppose and then ceedee this won’t be too long

dak: baby of his family and has two brothers. his parents divorced when he was little and he was very close with his mom before she passed away in 2013 (he’s started a foundation since then for cancer research and suicide prevention/mental health). went to mississippi st, cowboys starter his rookie year, etc etc. he also lost his brother to suicide in 2020 and he’s said before he feels a responsibility to live on and carry his and his mom’s legacy throughout his life. he’s like suuuuuper underrated in the league i feel and a lot of cowboys fans are complete assholes to him all the time it makes me so mad cos they could literally never ever make me hate him - he makes me so weepy 😭😭😭 umm but yeah he’s donated a ton to children cancer funds too and donated during BLM protests and things like that - he won the walter payton man of the year award. he just had a baby and got engaged in october (remember for the yaoi LOL) ok im gonna stop here cause i don’t wanna rant too much lol

btw i know what you are dak prescott:

ceedee: MY BELOVED… my favorite my absolute favorite. he has two brothers and two little sisters. idk if he’s the eldest or not tbh i see different things all the time that he’s the second eldest whatever not that important i guess. so blah blah college blah blah - he wears 88 on the team because that’s considered really special to the cowboys franchise and is reserved for elite receivers. idk he’s the most beautiful man ever and he does a lot of donating too - i know he participates in a lot of football youth camps a lot to help kids out and he likes to provide meals to families around thanksgiving and christmas time. a loooot of cowboys fans have criticized him for not being that much of a leader and pouting a lot on the sidelines (which he does sometimes… my mimir) but i think this last season he’s reaaaaallyyy taken a step into more of a leader type position especially with dak being out and he’s proven himself more than enough. he LOOOVES spending money on clothes it’s so cute… gonna be a sad day when the class war happens and i’m faced with cedarian lamb. ummm i also legit think he’s gay and closet is made of glass but whatever

see this is the problem i never stfu but okay CEEDAK what you actually asked about ksjdksjdks

PRE-2020 SEASON: this was before ceedee was drafted (some stuff i found last night) and this is what i mean when i say i haven’t done like a deep dive into these things bc i’m sure there’s soo much more but this kinda gives the general vibes

“I was like a little kid at the playground,” CeeDee tells us. (on the first time Dak texted him to invite him over to his house, says it was surreal.) august 21, 2020

and i actually hunted the exact clip down where he says this: (will reblog with link - skip to 4:25 he talks for like a minute or so - sorry the audio’s funky it’s because of covid so all the reporters weren’t in the room i’m pretty sure) DELUSIONS: you can’t tell me ceedee wasn’t nursing a crush here idgaf

2020 SEASON:

ceedee’s rookie year

personal stuff happened with dak before the season started - this is when he lost his brother to suicide and he’s been really outspoken about mental health since then. on top of that he broke his ankle during week 5 of the season (and tried to snap it back into place by himself on the field). dak was performing on like a sort of insane level before the injury happened so </3 what could’ve been and all that… the what-ifs of it all… so that year they weren’t able to play together as much

Oct 11, 2020: “CeeDee Lamb said he texted Dak as soon as he got out of the shower. Thanked him for everything he’s done for him and they were gonna hold it down for him until they see him on the field again.” (after the game dak got hurt in)

POST 2020 SEASON:

"He came back from his second surgery about two months ago so he’s walking around, rehabbing, doing everything right," Lamb said Wednesday. "It’s great to see, especially when you seen him go down. You saw the look in his eyes and you saw how sad he was and how much this game meant to him. Just to see him smiling again, happy again, being with his guys is a great deal."

"First day he kind of caught me by surprise with his arm strength," Lamb said. "He knows the little nuances of the game to be better. He makes it easy to follow him, if you will."

2021 SEASON

ceedee’s second year, he was in a WR room with amari cooper (currently on the bills) and michael gallup (now retired) blah blah season happened whateverrrr but AFTER this season the front office (i’ll always be mad about this lol) traded amari to the browns for a 5th round pick 💀 hence THIS!!! which i consider the #Real beginning of ceedak:

“Dak Prescott asked for CeeDee Lamb’s locker to be moved next to his: ‘My two other locker mates left, so I was a little lonely. With him being young, hopefully he’s my WR until I’m done playing. Just bring him closer, more conversations, he’s right there to talk and communicate.’”

said he had no doubt ceedee could become his "main guy"

here’s some fun stuff i found from 2021 too

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3hCmIZN-YI&ab_channel=DallasCowboys (7 min mark this was after a game winning td in overtime against new england)

“CeeDee Lamb on game-winning 35-yard TD: ‘It was the best feeling ever, honestly.’”

2022 SEASON:

https://youtu.be/T73xGDsFiVo?si=Qn_dwK1yfnHPiMya talks about dak here at 7:50 “all i need is him” 🤧

he’s actually said this a couple times lol he says shit like “we’re all we got” about each other - he’s said it this most recent season too so <3

dak injured his thumb this season though so he was out for like 7 weeks i think i can’t remember off the top of my head lol but again another season where they didn’t get to play much together

fun 2022 stuff:

“Last year, Cowboys caked Dak in the face on the field for his 28th birthday. On his 29th today, CeeDee told us they planned to do the same in the locker room. Hoped Dak would think he was safe after no cake on the field, and then locker room ambush.”

“Scene here: Dak was talking to us at his locker. CeeDee walks past wearing metallic red lens sunglasses indoors and eating chicken. Says the key to following up ass-kicking is ‘keep kicking ass.’”

“Dak on CeeDee’s vibe: Yeah, cool as hell - says ‘keep kicking ass’ while he’s eating.”

“Dak Prescott walked by during our interview with CeeDee Lamb - QB1: CeeDee’s that dude! / WR1: Happy birthday, Dak!”

link posted in reblog: skip to 2:30 he almost says he loves dak lol also very

2023: THE SEASON OF CEEDAK!!!

https://youtu.be/7_WRIzb5fPA?si=R0TETc2qtW0IOP5P the infamous "was gonna take him out for dinner tonight" clip is from this aka what got me hooked on ceedak lol (this interview is just so good in general i love ceedee sm - def recommend watching! such a nice look at his personality)

this is where my delusions take over i deadass think they hooked up at LEAST once around this time lol maybe end of 2022 season maybe early 2023 season IDK but anyway during this year the offense was soo wack for a couple of weeks until the bye week and then ceedee made some noise about it bc he felt like he wasn't being as utilized (which is true i'm so serious mccarthy was SUCH an annoying coach lol) but quotes:

“Cowboys WR CeeDee Lamb said Dak Prescott approached him and said: ‘If you have a problem with anything, just come up to me and we’ll talk about it.’ Lamb said he and Dak worked on getting on the same page their first day back in the building after the 49ers loss.”

Dak: ‘I mean, a frustrated player that feels like we all could’ve done better and feels like he can change the game, I understand it. I really do. So it’s in the sense of just communicating with him… CeeDee is a guy that I’ll never lose confidence in and trust who he is and understand why he’s frustrated. But at the end of the day, he’s a leader. It’s about him leading other guys and picking other guys up and him just trying to make sure we’re all pushing our best. That’s where the frustration is, we have to remove that. And he will. He’s a young player that’s growing by the day and he’ll only get better. He’ll be better because of that.’

but after they switched the offense around dak and ceedee went craaaazyyy - ceedee was named all pro, dak was in mvp talks (should have won it to be honest i'm sorry lamar i still love you <3) but 2023 cowboys will seriously haunt me forever lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sudQu72KDXs&ab_channel=NFLonFOX

DELUSIONS: dak announced he was having a baby like two weeks after this game SO let’s just say…. maybe…. perhaps… they were hooking up… ceedee probably knew before the public did - not saying that’s why he seems a little upset at the beginning of this clip cause who knows 🤷‍♀️ like i said DELUSIONS but… i can’t help it when the timeline timelines don’t shoot the messenger

also i do wanna mention that dak’s fiance follows a loooot of cowboys players on ig but she does not follow ceedee and he doesn’t follow her AGAIN just delusions…. but… iykyk 👀

sooo they were poppin off in 2023, ceedee was breaking records and shit, won nfc east, went to the playoffs and then i DON'T wanna talk about it i have my theories about wtf happened during that playoffs packers game but 💀💀 anyway the offseason before the 2024 season was genuinely the worst of my life because BOTH ceedee and dak had to get extended and jerry jones (who is the worst) waited until after training camp to get them both signed lol so ceedee wasn't participating in training camp at all which affected them in the beginning of the 2024 season which was a complete mess A MESS but here's some fun stuff after ceedee signed his extension/during that offseason

“Remarkable. That’s who CeeDee Lamb is. … He’s special. He’s just getting going and as long as I’m here, he’s gonna keep stacking these records year after year.”

“CeeDee Lamb strongly defended Dak: No one deserves the criticism that he gets. The way he gets talked about is crazy.”

2023-2024 OFFSEASON:

worst months of my life lol ceedee was holding out for his new contract and didn’t get it signed until like… august i think? anddd dak was signed fucking three hours before kickoff the first week of the season lol i HATE this front office

but here’s some fun quotes after ceedee was signed:

CeeDee Lamb: “We were texting quite a bit. Obviously I missed being out there, competing with him… for is being so in tune together and all it takes is one text message or one conversation, one phone call… for us both… having the same passion for the game, same love for the game. I want what’s best for Dak and vice versa. Shout out to him too for getting that bag, too. We’ll be together for the next five years.”

Dak Prescott on CeeDee Lamb’s added muscle weight: “He’s wearing a lot more sleeveless shirts. As long as the speed is there, and it looks like it is (in practice), I’m fine with however big he is.” LMAO??

Dak Prescott: “I peeped the biceps. He’s wearing more sleeveless shirts now.”

Dak Prescott recently on CeeDee Lamb: “He’s talented. He works hard. He’s special. He’s the best receiver in the league for a reason. And I’ve seen Instagram videos. I know you’ve seen him. He’s working. And he works hard. So I have no angst, no worries about when he gets here that we’re not going to pick up where we left off. And when you're a stud like that and you’re smart like he is and you’re good at communicating, that makes that process that much easier. So it’s not like we’ve got to build something. We’ve got that. We just got to reignite it when he gets here.”

on how much ceedee worked with dak at the field at dak’s house even though he was staying away from the team: “Often. I would say quite often. Anytime that I’m back in town, and he’s obviously back here, I hit him and then… it’s very… good having a rich quarterback.”

Dak Prescott’s thoughts on the tandem of him and CeeDee Lamb being compared to legendary duos like Joe Montana and Jerry Rice: “I think that says a lot just cause we’ve only done it for four years and you just named some of those duos that did it for their whole careers. But then again, I feel like we can be better than all of them… so love the comparisons, they sound good and all, but hopefully one day people are saying these next duos and next tandems can be like me and CeeDee.” (i will kms over this quote one day)

i’m sure there’s things i’m missing but this is already sooooo long lol so

2024 SEASON:

WORST SEASON OF MY LIFEEEEEE / ceedak angst era

the front office set this team up to fail and let like a ton of players walk in the offseason, didn’t use free agency, injury riddled team, had a bunch of rookies starting but anyway just gonna go game by game really quick because this is when i was locked tf in and it’s more recent so ?? more detail seems alright when it's necessary also i wrote so many half-finished post-game fics this season to cope with how terrible it was i’m cryingggg it was insane

cowboys vs browns: i was at this game :) good game they won

cowboys vs saints: blocked this game out actually!!!

cowboys vs ravens: fake ass comeback also the game ceedee CRASHED OUT on the field lskdjslkdjsskjdsk which is so funny bc i literally love lamar sm and was so excited to watch but… my players wanted to make me MISERABLE

this was said a day or two after the game by ceedee (bc he fumbled during it and then wasn't there for post game media people andddd was yelling at dak on the sideline 🗿)

“Our relationship has, if anything, gotten stronger. Don’t let what, what’s out there fool you. We’re brothers to the end. We know that we all we got, and I tip my hat off to him. I got the utmost respect for him.”

“So with that being said, everything is gonna come out - the energy, the passion, the love, the fight - and then we’ll make up in the end. So no, no craziness now. Don’t.”

dak also said something about his rhythm with ceedee being a “rare feeling” which… okay internalized homophobia but i CANNOT for the life of me find the actual quote i’ve searched through my gallery but it’s not there </3 if i find i’ll add later (i’m pretty sure it was after the baltimore game but i can’t remember)

cowboys vs giants: this is a tremicah game no need to mention ceedak idt - nasty ugly win but whatever

cowboys vs steelers: dak prescott giving me a heart attack 12 fucking times during this game

cowboys vs lions: don’t wanna talk about it! i’m a hater! always will be sorry!!! ben johnson statpadding on my sorry ass terrible team i was SICKKKKK

BYE WEEK: my trials and tribulations…. my nfl rpf…

CeeDee Lamb on getting in some extra work with Dak Prescott during their bye week: “We love our bye weeks. We took advantage of it. We got right. We used every opportunity to get better and I feel like it’s going to show. We got on some routes, and obviously the timing is everything. We needed that.”

now ummm this is the week dak got engaged so. which is really funny because after the announcement post on ig ceedee went GHOST on instagramksjdjks like i went back to check because i’m crazy (these are delusions btw) and he had been posting like once a week… maybe once every two weeks PRETTY consistently like for at least a couple of months but after the engagement happened there was pretty much nothing for like… almost two months?? ummm which AGAIN i’m not saying anything i’m not insinuating anything buuuuut…… buuuuut….. also it’s really fucking funny because in this same interview ceedee dropped that he left the country during the bye week but didn’t post it on socials at all so i’m like ohhhh… you’re coping w the engagement… i see LMAO anyway

cowboys vs 49ers: sigghhhh….. lets get into it

SO this was a loss but two ceedee touchdowns.. i’m leaving with something!!!

“Yeah, I found CeeDee,” Prescott said when reflecting back on Lamb’s breakout in the Bay Area. “He did a good job of getting open, running all of his routes hard no matter where he was, if he was the one or if he was backside on a concept. Loved his intentionality in the game. He kind of said something like that to me during the game, midway through the game, like ‘Yeah, we’re back.’ And that was before, I think, his two touchdown drives. So just him even playing with that confidence, communicating that, it gives me a lot of confidence.”

super hopeful right maybe they'll really connect again and things'll be fine LOL

cowboys vs falcons: worst game ever dak tore his hamstring off the bone like a fucking idiot and ceedee sprained his AC joint and would not stop going back out into the game i was ready to kms

cowboys vs eagles: not talking about it idc

cowboys vs texans: loss because ofc but whatever ceedak hugged before the game tho so i didn’t gaf about the loss - i can’t find the clip rn but if i do i’ll post it

cowboys vs commanders: this is when i accepted they were tanking and then they decided to just be elite for whatever reason lol made me so happy though ceedee was so happy <33

cowboys vs giants: whatever

cowboys vs bengals: worst fucking game of my life nothing to do with ceedak but one of my other fave player’s (i also ship him w ceedee idgaf) knee EXPLODED so that was so much fun to deal with

cowboys vs panthers: i still can’t believe bryce young decided to forget how to play football in this game im crying

cowboys vs tampa: again they just wanted to be elite for whatever reason

cowboys vs: eagles: don’t wanna talk about it idc

cowboys vs commanders: WHATEVER thanks for the 12th draft pick ashton jeanty you will be a cowboy

SO. that’s basically where everything's at lmfao worst season EVERRRRR with ceedak ANGST um but yeah hopefully 2025 will be better... i’m cautiously optimistic because their old coach is finally FINALLY gone because he was really limiting them and their ability you know? 2023 season was amazing and then 2024 started and it was like… mccarthy just reverted back to his old scheme that wasn’t working. it was really annoyingksdkskds. but the new coach (despite it seeming like a silly hire) had a decent press conference (that ceedee didn’t attend bc he was playing around in paris LOL) andddd he seems to be setting up a nice staff around him so hopefully hopefully hopefully 2025 is a lot better and ceedak will save me again… can’t wait for training camp omg

anyway if u read all this i’m SO sorry i hope it’s… expansive enough?? i wanted to include kind of how it’s been through the years and i had a lot more to add for 2023/2024 because that’s when my adhd was just like Yea let’s hyperfixate on this so. been stuck here for awhile and i’ll probably be stuck here for years and years and years <3

[mylittleredgirl]

m*a*s*h reaction post released from my drafts!! i don't know why i have been worried about making a Good Post when legitimately everything that could ever be said about this show has been said.

so i will SHARE MY THOUGHTS ABOUT SEASON THREE currently in progress:

ooooh war got a sweet budget increase in the off-season. pyrotechnics! helicopters! ACTIONNN BAYBEEEE

i'm falling more in love with everyone, details to follow

top of the list: trapper my bestie has been promoted to trapper my legit fictional crush 💕

don't get me wrong, in real life i would slap his face, but i'm with hot lips on this one. the hair, the smile, every time he takes off his shirt... take me to the supply tent or lose me forever

HOWEVER, i happened to notice that he is not on the header pic on hulu* and none of you talk about him so i must regretfully conclude that he will eventually leave the show

DON'T TELL ME WHEN

anyway i am cherishing him as one cherishes an old dog not long for this world

*speaking of hulu: i have now joined the henry blake appreciation society thanks to this One Weird Trick (reupping my hulu account for a month because i lost my shit after the dvds cut out at the climax of an episode AGAIN)

i went back to rewatch the episodes that didn't play on the dvds, and turns out a lot of them were henry eps (including the trial of henry blake and the one where he is waiting for news about his new baby...) (and also the one where he fell in love with a cheerleader but you can’t win ‘em all)

just in time to appreciate that scene in "o.r." where he tells hawkeye he doesn't want to be discharged so that he can keep doing real doctoring 🥺

"o.r." had so many good character bits!! even frank got some depth?? or at least an explanation for why he's Like That...

other eps i liked:

"iron guts kelly" -- felt like a follow-up to the one last season where hot lips got wasted and broke up with frank and then hawkeye and trapper had to sober her up, which i also loved! "we hate her but she's OURS to hate" is such a good character dynamic.

also lmao every time she cheats on frank, GET YOURS GIRL 😘

the frank/margaret thing is strangely compelling actually? it's like an inverse ship for real. will-they-or-won't-they but for breaking up. same energy though, like i'm glued to the screen rooting for them to fight instead of kiss.

"check-up" i was sooooo brave you guys making peace with the situation BUT THEN TRAPPER STAYED!!! i feel like my crush has been given a stay of execution

i don't know if i ship it per se but i really hope he and margaret hook up exactly once and literally everyone regrets it

i've seen some more episodes and have more thoughts but i need to lie down a lot first

oh one more thing:

i realize "m*a*s*h actors amazing" is not breaking news, but i'm specifically obsessed right now with how they are always interacting with props. i don't even mean the o.r. tools or scripted things, but how in every scene they're doing comedy while also moving crap around, pouring things, drinking, shaving, changing clothes, handing (or THROWING) things to each other, just making a mess all the time while still hitting their lines and comic beats. it's a master class in whatever that is.

anyway it's so good!!! more to come 💕

[shutupheathersorryheatherr]

Jooyeon XH smutty hcs pt.1

A/n: where to start with this man hmmm also don’t pay any mind to the pics they were done really fast

warningz/ info: obviously smutty lol, kissing, mentions of giving head, jooyeon oral fixation if you squint, this is written badly since it was in my drafts for so long, talk of marking up your partner, i think that’s it!

~this is simply a piece of fiction. My imagination onto “paper”. This is in no way is meant to be taken as an actual and real representation of anyone~

THIS IS SMUT SO PLEASE MINORS DNI

•••••••••••••••••••

firstly, I think he’d be a bottom. Honestly try to change my mind on this one, nah you can't. well, at least most of the time a bottom. So yeah a sassy kinda bratty bottom lmao

like sure he'll have his moments but they're pretty much far in between.

Hes also a complete nibbler when he hugs. Like, mostly nibbles your neck or ear lobe. Which I guess isn't really nsfw in itself buttt still do with that what you will

number 1/2 out of this group that when ya'll are making out he’ll excuse himself to the bathroom like twice. And youre like ??? like yeah of corse you understand what hes doing that its just that after yall have already broken the ice in that area/ yall have made each other cum like a multitude of other times so needless to say its kinda confusing why hes taking care of himself when you're right there?? It’s just like how he was before yall two took that step. *sigh*

He's just pretty much always gonna be a shy little baby and probably won’t initiate much

hes a little worried that you don’t want— no, need him as much as he needs you. You’ll just have to show him

and probably takes a minute to understand how you practically start fucking dripping at the sight of the tent in his pants.

how you want noting more than to run your hands down the expanse of his back

how—how—how—

speaking of his back… you scratch it and he’ll be in heaven. Wants to wear them proudly. Or like hickies???? Yeah that too. It’s like he’s telling the world that he’s yours. And my god does he love that thought.

A "Anywhere, anytime." Kinda guy. You're horny while ya'll are drving somehwer? Cool, he'lll pull over. Y’all are in the bread isle in Walmart? Great, the bathroom it is!

( don’t worry he’ll make sure to line the seat and spray it with Lysol lmao)

Low key high key likes it when you order him around. Noting too drastic like “shut up bitch.” But something along the lines of “come here.” Or “faster.” Ya know what can I say? Mans likes to be informed

i cannot stress this enough. He. Loves. Digging. His. Nails. And. Fingers. Into. Your. Hips. Not really to the point of leaving bruises but definitely to the point of leaving red marks/ crescent moon shaped indents. Kinda like you leaving marks on him. Like to look in the mirror at them and admire them. Or simply the next time yall are fucking he likes to see them to himself (if that makes sense) it serves as a little reminder of how close the two of yall are

has a thing for being close to you. Intimate or romantic. Whatever

liiikkkkeeee

the type of person to pull you to him 24/7 in general when y’all are having sex and or pull himself to your lips when he’s giving you head

1/2 of the: probably sometimes gets to the point where you can barely get any “work done” and you jokingly complain about it.

what can I say the man likes his kisses

Ya know how he’s a picky eater… well lemme just say in some ahem other regards he’s not lmao

like you cannot change my mind that Jooyeon isnt practically pussy drunk.

Ya know what scratch that he is pussy drunk

rip most of your free time cause once you let him get a taste he don’t wanna stop

legit probably always askin you if he can taste you. (“I swear it’ll be fast, baby. Just a couple licks”)

mans is bargaining lol/j

anyhow I can basically talk about this forever if I don’t stop now lol

~End~

©️2024copywrightforshutupheathersorryheatherr do not copy or translate my works even with credit to me

a/n: hope your liked it! Like I said this fic has been in my drafts since forever! So after making some edits I decided to post it for the fist fic of the new year! If you liked it, please leave some love like comments and or reblogs!

Taglist: @itz-yerin

[queer-ragnelle]

So, regarding your novels, what made you write backwards? I'm so curious about it.

TL;DR I started writing in Mordred and Galahad perspective. I then became possessed by the "older" characters and went "back" in the timeline to write their origins (starting with parentified Agravaine). I did this several times until I ended up with Ragnelle/Gawain as book 1, "the beginning," of what turned into an Epic many books long.

Let me give you a timeline...

1900s: I am born and develop Arthurian brain worms.

21st century: The worms declare Ragnelle/Gawain are my favorites and I write their Wedding multiple times for fun based off what can be gleaned from Wikipedia and retellings as I have no medieval resources at my disposal.

February 2020: I think Mordred and Galahad would make neat narrative foils and write a short story about them playing chess.

March 2020: The plague. I'm furloughed from my job. Writing becomes my full-time focus. I write 60,000 words in Mordred and Galahad perspective, plotting their story to be a trilogy.

June 2020: I'm back to work but I'm still writing. With money and curiosity at my disposal, I begin hoarding Arthurian books. Local quirky secondhand bookstore owner had an Arthurian fixation in his youth—I clear his shelves. He asks if I'm a medievalist major and I have to break it to him I'm just a High School drop out at the mercy of the Tell-Tale knights chattering in my head. I learn more lore. I splurge to buy the Vulgate cycle. I'm forever changed.

Late 2020: Reading medlit and retellings and watching all the movies super charged the brain worms. The Vulgate especially. I develop an obsession with circumventing the Orkneys/Welshmen blood feud with the power of gay sex. (Joan Wolf did it first in her 1988 book The Road to Avalon with Agravaine/Lamorak.)

January 2021: Historical research shows that Islam didn't exist yet during the 5th/6th century I'd been writing in. I order Zoroastrianism by Mary Boyce to make sure I'm depicting Ragnelle and Gromer's religion properly. But it's nbd their page time is minimal as background characters right? ....right?

2021 continued: The Agravaine/Lamorak brain worms take on a life of their own as I'm hospitalized and bedridden. Chronic pain and isolation become my themes. I write endlessly on my phone from bed. 2/3 novels are completed and readable straight through with a third book in pieces. These are currently at a combined total of nearly 140,000 words. (Plus the notes file with scenes I haven't moved yet...whoa.)

Late 2021: I rediscover old Ragnelle/Gawain stuff and decide to write about their wedding. Again. But this time with legit sources. Except Ragnelle isn't some ambiguous character of color, she's now very specifically Persian [Iranian] Zoroastrian. So the whole thing takes place in Persia and research goes crazy. Someone gives me their college log in so I can download and hoard essays and textbook PDFs. I do beta-read trades with people in facebook groups (bad bad idea) and yet...

End of 2021: I get sample edits from various editors including one guy who insulted my "lack of education" and said emulating J. R. R. Tolkien's old style didn't work anymore and I should take inspiration from The Hunger Games....for my queer romance in Persia. Right. Anyway I pay the $100 for the pages edited so he'll go away and continue searching for my unicorn editor....

2022: Ultimately facebook group scouting finally yields results as I stumble upon a fellow Ragnelle/Gawain enthusiast who would become my editor!! Editor says I have to cut the giant book into thirds, so what is now book 1 ends up chopped.

2023: I'm still revising book 1, now titled The Moonlit Knight, with my editor. All the while I'm drafting book 2, sporadically cheating to write in other books including an Elaine and Perceval book that appeared out of no where, and scouting out beta readers. One beta reader came via a tumblr mutual who connected me through instagram. A second beta reader discovered in a discord server. Another beta reader from a different discord server. So on and so forth.

Early 2024: Beta reading continues, until I have readers for every angle I require; queer people of all flavors, Zoroastrians, Arthurian enthusiasts, Jewish readers, people with DID knowledge etc! Slowly but surely I work through revising the book with all these wonderful people to a final 95,000 words!

Mid 2024: But now...it needed a cover. I commission a tumblr mutual and work for weeks with them on that, still editing/revising and having betas read book 2, Sunshine's Lady, which is currently almost 132,000 words long and half edited/beta read.

September 2024: I still haven't published. lol. But the process takes a long time and has a lot of moving parts!

So why do I actually recommend this method? Well, this has been hugely helpful to write foreshadowing. Forgetting for a second the blueprint drawn from Arthurian Legend itself, I know how my story with my version of the characters is going to go, so I can set all of that up way in advance. It's all well and good to know (spoiler) Arthur dies at the end, but it's never been about the conclusion so much as the journey there and the unique perspective of whichever character the author has chosen to focus on. I mean, Godfrey Turton's The Emperor Arthur is Pelleas point of view. He's instrumental at the battle of Camlann. It's the same with Bernard Cornwell's Warlord Chronicles and our one-handed friend Derfel, the reasoning for which isn't revealed until book 3. The world is your oyster! Fixate on your special character and set that shit up and pay it off!!!

Knowing what you're writing toward is extremely helpful during the drafting process. Even if it's only vaguely shaped it'll develop detail as you revise. Other than Derfel's missing hand, the best example of this I can think of is in Realm of the Elderlings series by Robin Hobb. It has a huge fanbase on tumblr for a reason, it's just an insane amount of set up you're not even aware of until the impact slams into you many books later and you're left going, "Whoa.....it was there the whole time." Mind blowing. I want have half as much narrative resonance as that.

Another thing that came of this is, since I wrote Agravaine/Lamorak first, and I'm obscenely Ragnelle obsessed, she pops up in their pov as a hag, only for them to not realize she's one and the same as Gawain's bombshell wife they "meet" later. I wrote this as the lads first, but it's extra funny now that, actually, the reader will experience Ragnelle's perspective first. Hottie uncursed Ragnelle does know she met them before, but feigns otherwise. So it's very fun to see the same encounters happen a second time a few books later. Agravaine is like, "Okay granny whatever. Bye... :^/" and Lamorak is like, "That granny was weird but I like her! :^)" meanwhile the reader is like, "AHHHHH! I KNOW HER!!! YOU FOOLS DON'T KNOW HOW IMPORTANT SHE'LL BE AHHH!!!" At least, that has been the beta reader reaction, which is gratifying. Even better, the books can be read out of order, so actually if you read Agravaine/Lamorak before Ragnelle/Gawain, it works in reverse, too. So if the reader knows who Agravaine is from reading his perspective, when Ragnelle or Gawain runs into him, the reader will realize who he is before it clicks for the point of view character. I had a lot of fun developing all of this across the series for multiple characters, it certainly happens more than once.

Wow that was long but I hope it makes sense and gives you an idea how it all went down. Thanks for taking an interest and I hope you enjoy my books when they're out. Take care! :^)

[sheriffgrimes-archerdixon]

The devil and I

Tw’s: blood, gore, near SA

Request: hey, I was wondering whether you could do something along the lines of where joes group hold rick at gunpoint but instead of it being michonne and Carl it’s the reader, Carl and rick? And they try to hurt y/n. If you’re comfortable with that? Thank you!

I’m so sorry this took me forever- i binged twd all over again so I’ve got inspiration to write this scene… legit my love for Rick is only growing🥲❤️ note: I am not following the scene so words will not be the same and actions will not be the same. Edit: this has been sat in my drafts for ages I forgot to post it so apologies. (Daryl not included in this version sorry!)

A/N: literally if Rick protected me like this I would legit fold. 😭

Safety was always something no one took for granted yet whenever you took safety for granted even for a split second everything went terribly wrong… exactly like this moment. You were now stood with your hands up in surrender Rick stood beside you and Carl in the car asleep. You listened to the cruel man as he began talking, blaming Rick— going on a tangent about how Rick was going to pay with his life. It made you feel sick to your stomach your fearful eyes locking onto Rick who was clearly watching you out of his peripheral one of his hands inches away from grabbing his pistol his other hand raised. “You think you’re all that?” His voice was sarcastic “well let me tell you somethin’ you killed our friend! That means we’ve gotta kill you! Start with the girl…” his cold eyes moved to look at you, eyes scanning up and down your body tongue lightly licking against his lower lip as he smirked “then we’ll kill you.” His eyes snapped back to Rick who looked infuriated to say the least. “It was my fault okay? Don’t- don’t get my people involved” he spat out. “Don’t? Oh you should’ve thought about that before killing my men!” He yelled making you flinch, immediately making his attention return to you as he suddenly turned his gun on you ricks eyes narrowing as he clenched his jaw,

“Hey! Keep the gun on me. On me.” Rick demanded, Joe looking at him with annoyance “you think you have fuckin’ control in this situation? Well buddy you’re wrong. You don’t tell me what I can and can’t do!” Jesus Christ this guy needed to take a chill pill. Your body trembled as the gun remained pointed at you, Rick too being held at gun point by another man as the other men in the group began searching around— the chubby one finding Carl, beginning to sniff him out in a crude horrible way your eyes wide as you watched the man do the unthinkable… this was sick! “Leave him be!” Rick yelled referring to Carl, Joe only laughing. He could’ve stopped his men from touching Carl.. pinning him down but he didn’t. He seemed to find it amusing. You watched with wide eyes until eventually you couldn’t cope anymore, making a drastic decision as you attempted to sprint over to Carl only for one of the skinner men to kick out his foot making you trip as you landed face first in the mud. “Well that was a dumb decision wasn’t it sweetheart!” You breathed heavily hearing Rick struggle slightly “don’t do anything to them— fuck! Don’t touch them! They didn’t do anything. It was all me! Leave them be!” Rick raised his voice desperately but despite that Joe didn’t listen, only mocking Rick further.

That’s when you felt a hand grab you, swiftly turning you over as you watched the tall man come down to straddle your waist— grubby hand grabbing your jaw as he got a good look at you. “Joe she’s a pretty one. Might keep her!” The man laughed out evilly Rick’s cold pale blue eyes glaring straight into the back of the man’s head his hands clenched by his side as he tried to breathe normally the fury on his face clearer than anything. He was about to snap… about to do something wrong… but these men couldn’t just do this. His eyes slid to the fat man who was now loosening his belt, ricks heart dropping into his stomach. “Don’t touch me!” You yelled averting ricks gaze back to you, watching you fight the man off attempting to push him away only for him to grab your wrists and pin them above your head “don’t touch her! Get your filthy hands off of her” he demanded, Joe taking that as a advantage more than anything knowing Rick seeing his people being hurt would cause him more pain… but unbeknownst to Joe it would also spur him on to doing something else in retaliation. “Hey— turn her around so he can see her face.” Joe laughed out, the man holding you down quickly obeying a sick grin on his lips as he forced you onto the floor— Rick now stood where you could see him but because you were laying on the ground he was upside down. Tears clung to your eyelashes as you stared at him in fear the terror clear. “You can take what you want! Just stop it. Stop this!” Rick demanded but it fell upon deaf ears. The men didn’t care. Rick watched as the man holding you began cutting your T-shirt off until you were exposed- leaving you in your bra and jeans.

“Well would you look at that… ya convinced yet?” He spoke to Joe as if asking whether they could keep you now. Joe only smirked and you watched in horror as the man began cutting your bra off, ricks eyes fleeing to look at Carl again the man pressing a knife to the young boys skin ricks head aching, his vision spinning, before he acted in complete panic and need to save you both as he abruptly head butted Joe making a bullet fly into the air— hitting one of joe’s men straight in the head knocking him unconscious immediately. The smell of gunpowder swirled in the air and you quickly kicked the man in the balls, watching him attempt to ease the pain only for him to pin you down again as you struggled barely registering what Rick had done, the familiar metallic scent of blood making you look over at him momentarily as your body continued to desperately fight…. Rick had bitten a huge chunk of flesh out of joe’s neck… clearly tearing an artery… your breath hitched as Rick stormed towards the two of you his beard coated in blood before he roughly stood the man up, shoving his gun onto his chin “give me one good fucking reason why I shouldn’t pull the trigger.” Rick growled out, but didn’t even wait as he pulled the trigger— it was violent… vicious… merciless.. you watched with wide eyes as Rick didn’t even tend to you, yet, instead moving toward the fat man who was now up hands raised attempting to desperately save his own life. You weakly scurried towards Carl, grabbing him and holding him close as the boy gripped onto you, a shadow of terror in his eyes… he was traumatised… you knew what Rick was going to do. He was going to end this man’s life in the most horrific way for touching his son and so you quickly but gently helped Carl get into the car, your head turning just in time to watch a sharp hunting knife be shoved into the man’s stomach— the jagged teeth immediately sinking into his flesh as Rick began dragging the knife upwards… literally gutting the man like a fish.

You watched with wide eyes your breath hitching, Rick keeping the man held up as he stared into his eyes watching how the life drained from him little by little and as the man slumped Rick began violently stabbing the man over and over and over again. Your eyes filled with terror. You hadn’t seen Rick like this before… never… he was so composed but obviously and rightfully so he acted like this correctly. You would too if it was your child. But you were also traumatised from also nearly being sexually assaulted. Your brain wasn’t entirely working and so you shakily got into the car and began comforting Carl your face twisted with pain and other emotions that couldn’t quite be deciphered… you were unsure with what you felt… you were confused… desperate for comfort but you knew Carl needed it more than you at the moment. You silently pulled a blanket over him in an attempt to sooth him, your fingers beginning to run through his hair gently.

—

You weren’t sure how long had passed but it was now daylight, the sun breaking through the clouds. You were sat near the car a numb expression on your face, your head bowed your body covered in blood and dirt hands trembling slightly. You were still shirtless, bra hanging on by only one strap but that was the least of your worries. You barely noticed as the familiar boots came into view, the man soon sitting beside you your eyes catching onto his hands covered in dried blood his wedding ring coated in the crimson liquid your eyes remaining locked on it momentarily before you looked away again. “Are you okay?” Those words left his lips so compassionately yet you could hear the tiredness in his voice. He didn’t need someone else to worry about.

“Fine.” You murmured back tiredly ricks eyes boring into you as he studied you carefully, he was an ex sheriff for gods sake he wasn’t dumb… he could sniff a lie out immediately. But really was anyone okay nowadays? “Hey” he reached his hand out grabbing onto your hand gently his grip tender and you slowly looked at him feeling gross. You could still feel the man’s hands on your body… groping you. “He touched me rick.” You whimpered feeling pathetic but you trusted him. Deeply. You knew you could talk to him without being judged. “I can feel his hands everywhere.” Tears stung your eyes as finally a few trailed down your cheeks leaving pale marks down your mud covered cheeks, Rick didn’t know what to say. What could he say? He however didn’t think much on it, instead giving your hand a squeeze. “I won’t let that happen ever again. Im sorry y/n.” He spoke tenderly and you glanced at him tired eyes locking with his and you only shook your head. “Not your fault.” You assured calmly yet emotionally, Rick didn’t speak for a moment or two before he eventually stood up. You believed he was going to leave but much to your surprise you watched as he removed his jacket, extending a hand out towards you as you slowly and timidly grabbed his hand. He pulled you up carefully before helping you put the jacket on, and once it was over you he leaned down slightly grabbing the ends of the jacket as he zipped it up for you until the zip dangled just below your neck before he stood back up. “We’ll get moving as soon as Carl is awake. Don’t want to risk running into anymore folk like that…” he spoke and you nodded silently, expecting him to walk off which he did at first before pausing turning to look at you “again I’m sorry.” He paused momentarily before walking back to you and much to your gratefulness and surprise he pulled you in for an abrupt hug, holding you for a solid 50 seconds before he pulled away hands resting on your shoulders “we’ll be alright.” He reassured searching your eyes that held doubt and worry and you gulped heavily before nodding. He then pulled away, “Rick” you murmured shakily making him pause as he looked back at you “pinky promise?” You held your pinky out for him watching as he glanced down at your pinky outstretched for his and he smiled slightly before nodding, stepping back towards you his pinky locking with yours “I pinky promise that we’ll be alright y/n.” He spoke whilst looking into your eyes. “I won’t let anything bad happen to you or carl ever again.” The look in his eyes saying that much… he was going to protect you and his family until his last dying breath.

[exo-raskreia]

you'll probably won't see this message but i'll send it anyway lol.. i love you speak your mind about how the ichihime ship isn't that great and has all the facts to bring it show that you're right. i always felt scared to say i don't ship ichihime cuz they're are alot of shippers that can get so intense about it. i always say that ichihime is a cute ship and they have their moments(i don't feel that way at all lol) cuz i don't want to be attacked for not liking how their story played out. twitter is a scary place oml💀 and they made me sorta believe that ichiruki doesn't have any chemistry and they're just siblings when i knew in my heart like yes they do have chemistry and are the superior ship. like ichigo cares more for chad and uryuu then orihime. but since their canon, i guess their love for each other is supposed to be legit. apparently ichigo sees his mother in orihime so i don't understand why that's not a turn-off for the shippers😭so yeah thanks for making me go back in my bleach fangirl era and making my 10-year old self to not feel guilty and stupid shipping ichiruki

Wow, thanks so much, anon! And ur welcome! I will forever be on IchiRuki's side no matter what anyone says 😤.

You don't have to be scared to support what was, and still is, the most popular ship in Bleach (and rightfully so). There was no real ship war during its run (despite what the antis try to claim now), as IR was shipped by most of the fanbase. IR had everything you could hope a M/F ship to have in a battle shounen, the most solid basis for becoming canon with just one more step...and yet... (Kubo fumbled 🙄). The theories on that are interesting...

While more than half the IR fandom is no longer active after that disastrous ending, it doesn't mean they're not still out there. I've seen even non-shippers still praise IR & see it as wasted potential & whatnot (triggering antis in the process 🤭). Not being canon doesn't take away from the fact that it is still the superior ship. Anyone with reading comprehension who reads the manga will see it & wonder why they didn't end up together.

IH was never popular in Japan. It was always far below IchiRuki & UlquiHime (Ori's most popular ship 👀. Kubo achieved in ONE arc what he couldn't achieve for IH the entire manga, like-). To this day, those 2 ships get more content than the canon ships 😌.

The antis are just triggered that despite becoming canon, their ship is still. not. popular. IH doesn't have nearly as much content (both canon AND fanon) as IR & UH despite being canon for almost 10 years. Yes, Kubo himself doesn't care enough to give them even one family sketch 🫢.

Compare that to the Naruto endgame ships (mainly NaruHina & SasuSaku), which have way more official AND fan content. Those were always popular, & still are, 10 years later since becoming canon. Pro-Bleach ED fans love to compare their ships with Naruto's yet are nowhere near as popular.

The IH's really thought they would get the NaruHina royal treatment after the ending (you know, like a movie, official drawings from the creator, interviews saying they were meant to be, merch, etc.), but instead only got a novel that wasn't even focused on them (Ren/Ruki is more popular than IH but mainly because of Rukia 🤣), which vaguely went over their so-called "development" & had chicken scratches a rough draft of a sketch for their ship 🫢. Kubo also said in an interview that IH tried dating in college once but then broke up, later getting back together at some point. Super vague. And mind you, all this happened AFTER Rukia's wedding 🫢👀. So, we can only guess what was going through Ichigo's mind- Doesn't sound like Ichigo was all that interested, huh? Yet the IH's claim he was madly in love with her & "came back to life for her" & whatnot. Almost 10 years later & Kubo still can't be clear on when Ichigo supposedly started to "fall" for Ori despite being his "intended" endgame 💀.

The WDKALY novel has such OOC content on there, like it can't be taken seriously. Apparently, Kubo barely had any involvement with it anyway? Those sketches he drew sure are telling, esp if he calls his drawings here as a "rough draft" 💀

"Chicken scratches" for the canon ships, fr 😭.

RR is another dumpster fire but also more meh for me so I don't have to delve into that one, however, here's a post I once made where I go over why I don't truly believe Renji had feelings for Rukia. Meanwhile, Rukia's sad expression on the novel cover & the sketch of heading to the altar with a scared expression (not even when she was headed to her own execution did she look like THAT) say it all anyway 🫢.

Oh, man, there's just so much to make fun of for the canon ships. Even when we lose, we still win. IH's have no content, so maybe that's why they're so bitter & IR & its shippers still live in their minds rent-free despite them calling it a "dead ship". You would think they'd happily enjoy their canon ship & yet... They get triggered whenever IR fanart garners thousands of likes on Twitter 😩...

So, anon, I suggest not to engage with antis, esp on platforms like Twitter & Reddit. They're cesspools full of dudebros & loud IH's. Ignore, block, &/or mute them. No need to try arguing with them & please do NOT cater to them. Do NOT give them the validation they don't even get from Kubo himself, nor his affiliates (LMFAO). Use that energy to look for other fellow IR's & enjoy IR content (and maybe anti-IH content in the right places; you can explore that tag on my blog if u wish 🤪).

As an old saying in this fandom went, "Keep Calm & Ship IchiRuki."

[your-ne1ghbor]

I don't know if you take drawing requests or not (seriously, I forgot, lol.) But I kind of want to see how your Starboy would interact with WG!Star.

Like would he be excited or scared cause WG!Star can get wild when he meets other Starboys. He'd be zipping around all over the place, I'm not sure if yours can handle it. 😅

P.S my Star is a hugger, so take that however you want. 😆

(I do take requests, I love drawing/answering your guy's questions even if it takes forever 💀)

AND ONG RASCAL I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER THIS-

This took me a while to think about/draw since I saw them having a similar relationship to TKORAT Star with Orion, but still different enough from that. SOOO after long while of deep thinking, I figured out on how I would see them interact :3

So when they first meet, well, WG! Star ofc would get excited and start zipping around a lot to his potentially new friend. TKORAT Star starts asking a bunch of questions, starts pacing and moving around a lot, and starts talking so fast that you have no idea what the hell he is saying. Like buddy slow down 😭

Ofc besides that, I would see them relate on some personal levels with each other. First of all, on the lonely factor of their lives and confronting Magnus/Magnifico.

I thought that they would relate on the loneliness part of their lives in a way. From what I know about WG! Stars, is that they are basically like nomads, floating in the vast void of space and time. Ofc they would meet other stars, but it really looks more like a co-worker relationship than a long term friendship from my pov. I mean, what is the chance the star you just met is someone you will see again? Honestly kind of depressing. Poor guy 😢

For TKORAT! Star, (though I'm still figuring out the overall culture and lore of the stars) I also viewed it pretty much the same (though it could change after I figure out the star lore lmao). I mean sure, the other stars kinda treat Star Boy like their little sibling (i mean he technically is), but they aren't around enough to where someone could consider a friend. It is more like Teacher to Student type of situation.

Next it is confronting Magnus/Magnifico. Ngl, reading Chapter 7 and 8 was legit insane, hands up to Rascal 🙌

Although how I see TKORAT Star confronting Magnus being VASTLY different from what WG Star went though, the outcome is somewhat the same. Both through their rage later realize that they can't defeat Magnus/Magnifico. Even with their somewhat devine power that have (ie. Able to shapeshift, create objects out of thin air), it isn't enough to defeat him. They both basically got humbled by a guy who probably eats hair gel for breakfeast (aint no way he got his hair like that without proper hair treatment)💀🙏

Needless to say, they both can relate to that sort of pain they felt in those moments (I doodled them in their cosmic forms, though it is techically TKORAT Star's true form and it is also a draft)

Ok enough agnst 🙄, this duo would cause havok on Rosas.

Between them, there would be explosions....lots of explosions. And probably turning breads into talking cake creatures that beg you not to eat them. HORRIFYING...

Honestly imagine a whole group of pranksters showing up at your door (looking at the star boy gang for this). You're a goner man.

Cant draw WG! Star without hugging someone, am I right?

(And yes, my star boy doesn't know what a hug is. Like he has seen it, since he has seen mortals do that, he just doesn't understand why or know what it is called. Plus it is so infrequent of mortals doing that, which basically makes him forget hugging is a thing lol SUCH A UNCULTERED SWINE(srry couldnt resist lol) )

Anyways thanks for the ask Rascal! Again, sorry if it took so long, I was busy with school and also thinking deeply on their interactions with each other 🐀🐀

. . . . .. .

Shimmy shimmy yay shimmy yay shimmy ahhhhh

drank

falalala

drank

falalala

@signed-sapphire @oh-shtars @chillwildwave @rascalentertainments

@spectator-zee @tumblingdownthefoxden @dangerousflowerpanda

(sorry for tagging you guys again, just entering the silly hour (its 12 am by the time I wrote this))

[roleplayhonestybox]

https://www.tumblr.com/roleplayhonestybox/767614808780603392/yall-i-know-that-ghosting-here-is-so-so-common?source=share

I think that some people mistake "ghosting" with "I have the best intentions of getting around to this any day now but I don't have the energy to do it." I get into bad cycles of mental health and it takes forever for me to respond back sometimes and I don't necessarily mean to do that, it just happens. And for me, part of my mental health issues are brain fog, mental fatigue and dissociation and I can't predict when these cycles will end or when they even start.

I know there are people with legit ghosting problems that don't have mental health issues, but I just wanted to put out there that some of it isn't intentional. I keep things in drafts forever wanting to get to them but I just can't for some reason or another. But then I think this is an important thing to communicate with your partner too, so they will know it's not on them.

It's not fair to string a rp partner along though, so I also understand it can be a bit frustrating, especially when you see them roleplaying a lot with everyone else. But I think there's a difference between the two and it does become obvious that they're ghosting in this case.

.

[jakeluppin]

a couple asks ago, you said "whenever I start working on my novel, the first song I listen to is Pin" and now i'm super curious about your novel!! care to share any details??

okay so i have two (well, i have like twenty i've done bits on since i started writing but two that are still somewhat being worked on now) but one of them is barely anything beyond a rough idea so i'll focus on the one that's more legit

i wrote about 90% of a first draft (about 60K) and then realized there were some fundamental issues with it so i started over

i have about 16K done of my new draft, some of which is brand new and some of which is revised from the first

it's a ya romance because that's where my heart has always been

for main characters we have (which as i'm writing these i realize i am So Bad at describing characters in this way whoops):

jake - jewish trans guys who is only out to his older sister (rachel). at this point, their parents are gone/dead (i've been back and forth on exactly what went down) so rachel's raising him. he's been in love with his best friend (caleb) since basically forever. he does stage crew for his school's theater department.

caleb - jake's best friend. he's gay. he has a crush on their mutual friend peter. he's one of those people who are just so loving that it's so easily to just get lost in. but also a total dick at the same time?

peter - he's really into theater, always in every production, which is how jake and peter met. just before the story starts peter and caleb were running lines for something and peter kisses caleb. described by other characters as being the nicest person you've ever met.

and then there's asher - his family just moved to town as his mom is the new cantor at jake's synagogue. he's also into theater and auditions for the fall musical, alongside peter. jake and caleb are there watching and jake hears him sing and is like. oh. shit. i'm in love. it's not revealed until midway through the book but asher is also a trans guy.

it's basically just a coming of age love story where jake finds himself and love and it's just really gay and jewish and probably very self indulgent but who cares?

oh also i have switched which musical they do multiple times for various reasons and right now it's Newsies but it may change again. but obviously asher, my beloved, is cast as davey jacobs so it is pretty perfect in that regard

gonna just throw some random lines/short scenes from draft two under the cut because i can. feel free to not read them haha

“You can’t seriously be doing homework now,” Caleb scoffs a moment later. 

I look up from my assignment and just shrug. “I’m simply not as invested in this as you are,” I offer.

“But you should be. For me. This is an important moment in my love life.”

I chuckle. “I love you, Caleb, but I think overall if I was as invested in your love life as you are, that would be a little weird.”

“Nope. I’m pretty sure it’s in the best friend manual that you’re supposed to care about it as much as I do. Sometimes maybe even more.”

“Can I have a copy of this best friend manual? I want to check the exact wording on that.”

“Sorry, only one copy was made and I keep it under lock and key.” Caleb smiles bright, and I roll my eyes in response.

--

“But seriously, you were amazing at your audition. I’m not just saying that or anything.”

“Thanks. I grew up singing. I think my mom might have disowned me if I didn’t end up with a good voice.”

“Really?” 

Asher laughs again. “Wow, you are gullible or I am not as funny as I think I am. But no, my mom would not have disowned me if I didn’t have a good voice.”

It’s this moment that Rabbi Finkle steps out of her office and says, “Asher, don’t lie. No self respecting cantor could stand to have unmusical children, just like I couldn’t stand to have children who do anything but read torah all day.” She smiles at us both, light in her eyes.

“Isn’t your oldest an atheist?” I ask.

“Yes, but he still reads torah ever day.” She laughs.

--

“So how was it?” I ask, sliding in Caleb’s car. He smiles wide as he turns to face me.

“Peter was amazing. Obviously. There’s something just, sexy about watching a guy dance.” He pauses, sighing, and then says, “I’m really gay.”

I laugh. “Really? I had no idea!”

“Yeah, not like I told you for the first time when we were like, nine or something.”

“Oh yeah, that definitely never happened.” 

Caleb chuckles and drives off. 

I can vividly remember when Caleb came out, the emotions so strong they stay pressed in mind. I can remember his fear, his hesitation, as he told me in a small voice that he liked boys. I can remember the confusion, not understanding what he meant, not sure what that meant for me. I can remember the happiness and his smile when I said there was nothing wrong with him “like liking” boys. I remember the ache I felt, when after telling him I like boys too, he told me “girls are supposed to like boys.” That ache I didn’t understand, that ache I couldn’t place for years, that ache that would come when Caleb would refer to me as a girl. 

“Were you scared telling me?” I ask a few minutes later, even though I know the fundamental answer.

“Of course,” he says. “I was nine. I was gay. And you were my best friend. Why wouldn’t I be afraid?” 

I nod in agreement. It’s something that, of course, I can understand. Just the thought of it causes anxiety to crawl up skin, pulling tight at my throat. It stops me from saying the things I want to say, things I know I need to say. The things I can’t imagine ever actually telling him.

Like: I’m in love with you.

Like: I’m trans.

Like: Yes. That means I’m guy. Which, if you remember the I love you part, would make me gay too. Or bi. Not totally sure about that yet.

Like: Main point being, I want to be with you and date you and I know you probably don’t or won’t ever see me as anything but your girl best friend but maybe you could. 

Yeah. Probably a good thing I’m not saying any of that.

--

“...Honestly, the challah was so good and reminded me of mom’s that I had a breakdown. Standard stuff, ya know. Who doesn’t have breakdowns over delicious Jewish foods?”

“Are you even Jewish if you don’t have breakdowns over delicious Jewish food?” Asher counters.

[giaffa]

Get to know me tag

I was tagged by @bich-the-moss, thank you! 💖 (and sorry for the late reply, I forgot this in my drafts 🙈)

Do you make your bed?

Yep, every morning.

If you could, would you go back to school?

I'm very fond of my high school memories but I wouldn't go back to waking up at 6:30 am every day. Hell world.

Can you parallel park?

Nope 🙈 I have a driver's license but I haven't driven since 2019.

A job you had that would surprise people?

I did one year of civil service to help the local associations of ex-partisans and ex-deportees digitalise their archives. I had the opportunity to interview a survivor of Auschwitz, and an old partisan who fought in the Italian Resistance during ww2.

Do you think aliens are real?

I think there's a good probability that we're not alone in an infinite universe.

Can you drive a manual car?

Theoretically? My driver's license says I can. In practice? Not driving for 5 years will make you forget everything.

What is your guilty pleasure?

You can do whatever you want forever and there's no guilty pleasures.

Tattoos?

I have a tiny treble clef tattoo on my wrist, I made it with some ink and a needle when I was 14 to match with some friends lol

I'd love to have more tattoos, but I'm always saving money for concert tickets.

Do you like puzzles?

I get easily bored with puzzles and board games, and my competitivity is almost nonexistent, so they're not all that fun to me. I enjoy them just if the shapes/colours feel interesting.

Any phobias?

I have arachnophobia but the problem isn't the spider, it's the web. With spiders in general my fight response kicks in and I usually get rid of them, but if I see a spiderweb (or something similar like processionary caterpillars) my flight response skyrockets off the charts.

Sometimes I also get anxious if I have a lot of physical mass over my head, like in caves or at the ground floor of a very tall building. It's not claustrophobia or speluncaphobia because I'm completely fine with tight or dark places, it's more similar to thalassophobia (which also gets to me sometimes).

Favorite childhood sport?

Fencing! I took a junior fencing class for 2 years when I was in middle school and it was super fun! I would've loved to keep attending but it was too expensive and the instructor was the most annoying person I've ever met.

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

A witch. I was convinced it was a legit career path, and tbh maybe I was right.

Do you talk to yourself?

Sometimes I do, but I usually prefer to sing or talk to my plants.

What movies do you adore?

Viktor und Viktoria, The Prestige, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Orlando, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.

Coffee or tea?

Tea <3

Favorite color?

Red + black + purple combination my beloved ❤️🖤💜

no pressure tags: @curiouscalembour @valleydoll777 @the-paisley @hurdygurdywizard @kissingmonsters @velvetlinedbox @mirillel @sleeeepy-demon

[spicyraeman]

ᴏᴄꜱ - ᴛʜᴇɴ & ɴᴏᴡ

Saw a buncha chooms doin this lil trend and remembered that I had an old draft doing this very thing! Spiffied it up with even newer shots of my babes and it really makes me realize how far both me and my OCs have come :]

March 25, 2022 || June 24, 2023

The shot on the left is legit my very first oc shot in cyberpunk. Id taken some landscape shots before this but this was where the blorbo brainrot started. Vons definitely come the farthest in terms of design, from big beefy maelstrom to like.. wet rat white boy energy I guess lol. She still got a long way to go though, probably gonna be working on her forever, she's my favorite little passion project😌

June 2, 2022 || June 2, 2023

Didn't even realize these were exactly a year apart till I checked the dates!

Luis is basically the exact same as when I first made him, just the perfect design from the moment of creation😌He's the OC that really started my VP journey, I made him just to take pretty pictures of and learn the ropes. Glad I finally have the skills to show off his full beauty!

September 12, 2022 || June 14, 2023

Lynk's design is one that feels both entirely different and very much the same to me. Same overall vibe and style, but more refined I suppose. Less scrungly mess of wires and more sleek and sharp borg. Really love their current design now, still wanna make 'em custom tattoos but it gonna be a while till i'm at that modding level!

December 12, 2022 || June 1, 2023

Dallas was a design first backstory second kinda OC. I love her old design, think all the cyberware and makeup are really cool, but as I fleshed her out it just wasn't Dallas. Found myself in a comfy spot with her now though, even ended up making her her own custom complexion!

December 5, 2022 || July 9, 2023

Technically there's an even farther back design I could use for Sunny but it's so different I can't even consider it him. His old design looks so similar yet so very different its kinda weird😅Sunny's design now is probably the one I'm most content with, I might try and add back his arm tattoos but until then he's pretty much perfect.

December 8, 2022 || April 23, 2023

When I first made Midas my main goal was a dark moody playboy, which definitely stayed the same just in a radically different way. His OG personality was a playful and dramatic womanizer which I loved but I needed a straight man in this group of idiots and he had to be it. So instead he became a mysterious and gruff guy that has ladies falling over him whether he likes it or not, also he's a vampire now.

[baddygab-bi]

Okay I read the leaked script pages (not on purpose, someone posted them on here without anything blocking them out, so thanks for that… really… super cool, dude. You suck really. You’re an asshole. Fuck off forever)

And based on my working knowledge of screenwriting and the industry, here’s what we know.

They seem legit. I have a copy of an earlier season script that was generously shared with me as a writer (no I will not be sharing any more details about that or the script), and based on the style… Yeah, it’s real. I think some of the dialogue is clunky, but not in a “it’s fake” way, but just in a “that’s a weird way to write that,” way. Like the word yes instead of yeah. The scenes though, yeah, I’d take them with 99% truth.

Whoever leaked them obviously rewrote it. All scripts will be watermarked by show, name of actor or crew member if the crew member is given a script (not all do). Also, it says pink revision without a date. They date all their scripts. Mine is a full color revision (also known as a 2nd) production draft with a date, meaning that’s when it was finalized.

Their script not having a watermark means the leaker retyped it all on their own personal writing software, my guess is Final Draft since that’s the most basic and common, and the unchanged revision line is the same formatting. Also, if this were a production draft, which it seems to be, it would say production draft. Pink is earlyyyy. According to another script I have from 911 Lone Star (again, will not be sharing any details on that), pink is their very first revision. 911 would be the same. So since this seems to be the production draft based on what we know of how it lines up with the stills, it’s incredibly likely that the leaker, when rewriting it, didn’t change their settings. Meaning that they had pink revisions turned on as their go-to for the script when typing this out... Was it because they were using a file that had previously been written in (since FD’s go-to is blue first)? Or do they always have pink turned on?

Also, weird that they used (beat) when (then) is more commonly used by professionals, especially writers in both of the 911 rooms. With there not being a single (beat) in my 911 script, which was co-written by someone who likely would’ve been training/supervising all the current writers and someone who has more intimate knowledge of 7x05. That seems like a mistake. That would not have been what it was by the actual writer of the episode. The leaker typed that wrong

Also, the page set-up on 911 scripts at the top read:

“Episode title” “Revision type” “Date”

Which means that the leaker didn’t care to make it look like the actual script, just wanted the info out. This proves they retyped it.

My guess: the leaker is or was a PA or getting the intel from a PA. Someone who would have been around full copies of the script, and has lofty ambitions for the show and their own career (which is why they or someone they know has FD), but they don’t care enough to not leak the script, meaning they don’t think they’d get caught.

They’re likely male, younger. But are they a writer’s PA or a set PA? Based on the one thing I know about this leaker, they seemed annoyed at the Buck storyline, but weren’t certain if it was actually going to happen. A PA in the writer’s room would have more access to scripts, but would also know how to format things on a software… unless they purposely didn’t format correctly to not be caught. But a writer’s PA might be more likely to have their FD settings turned to pink already, since that’s what the room would have as their first color and they’d likely be emulating them. Or they’re a set PA. They might not know how the exact scenes go if they aren’t working that set, but they’d know what was going on overall. Also a writer’s PA would be able to get their hands on a pink rev, but this script isn’t a pink rev, it’s clearly a production draft and retyped anyway since no date/watermark.

Regardless, they’re not someone high up in any crew channel. They feel confident in leaking stuff because they don’t think they’ll get caught, because they don’t think anyone would notice. So this is a person people wouldn’t expect or care about. Someone who likely keeps to themselves, a loner, someone who wanted Eddie to have Buck’s storyline. Someone who leaked through another user because they don’t want to be traced back to, but are too sloppy to not type a production draft into a non-production draft copy.

I should say, it’s illegal, and they can be sued by Fox. Each script is copyrighted and it states: “no portion of this script may be performed, published, reproduced, sold, or distributed by any means or quoted or published in any medium, including web site, without prior written consent of 20th century Fox. Disposal of this script copy does not alter any of the restrictions set forth above.” Technically by revealing this, I’m infringing on copyright, but this is educational and reveals nothing.

[meadow-roses]

do NOT trust tumblr drafts! when I read your tags i got 'Nam flashbacks from the time I spent all day on a post with links pictures and all and it just... didn't post. tumblr legit ate it, it was GONE

Oh yeah for sure! Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know 🥺

I used to write almost exclusively in tumblr drafts (all the writing I did on my phone) until I found Google Docs had a mobile app 😂 I've been working on moving those wips over to docs, but there's a few still in there.

I've experienced so many times Tumblr eating posts that took forever to draft because of internet bloops 😔😔

[gradifizz]

for the first time in so long i checked in to ka and actually got to a point where I started to look back at my old projects and comments and missing it even though everyone I knew is long, long gone and it will never be like it was and I was drafting smth for my sub thread (that I didn't post) and thinking about the accounts and people whom i can't contact and who are gone forever and on a whim i looked for something

and i found someone

guys you know who it is - my lovely dear three mutuals among the rest - you know who i'm talking about

im feeling too many emotions.

i found them. they haven't been on ka for so long and neither have I and they said they were never going back

i'm a stalker. like legit, i'm a stalker.

i messaged them

im gonna cry