#this was my pnf secret santa gift | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

animationnut · 1 month ago

Text

Holiday Sweater Exchange

My PnF Secret Santa gift for @danvillecheese

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!! Hope you enjoy your gift!

...

When Isabella stepped out of her house, it was to be greeted by her favourite kind of snow—thick, puffy snowflakes that drifted lazily to the frozen ground. She paused for a moment to admire it, holding out her mitten-covered hand to catch one. The snowflake was about the size of a nickel, the crystals glinting in the thin rays of sun that peeked from amongst the grey clouds.

There was a slight nip in the air, sharp enough that she had to tug up her purple scarf so it would cover her face. It was only a short walk across the street, but she hated when her cheeks were numb with cold.

She looked both ways before she crossed the freshly-salted street. The driveway to the Flynn-Fletcher residence was just as pristine, not a chip of ice or clump of snow to be seen. She ducked through the backyard gate and followed the path to the sliding glass door, which she wrenched open with one hand.

“Happy holidays!” she chirped, kicking the slush from her boots before stepping onto the Santa Claus mat.

“Happy holidays!” Phineas returned with enthusiasm. He grabbed a mug of hot chocolate from the tray sitting on the coffee table, and once Isabella was free of her winter gear, passed it to her. “We’ve got the works, so jazz it up however you want.”

The coffee table had been turned into a hot chocolate bar, with glass canisters of sprinkles, gingerbread, candy canes, and chocolate shavings lined up beside cans of whipped cream. Isabella added a squirt of whipped cream to her hot chocolate and a healthy dose of red and green sprinkles.

Baljeet and Buford arrived a few minutes later. Buford took enough time to kick off his boots before beelining for the hot chocolate, wrapping his fingers around the warm ceramic mug. “Oh yeah, that’s the stuff,” he said with a sigh, dropping with a heavy plop beside Isabella on the couch.

“I told you fingerless gloves were completely impractical,” Baljeet chided, taking more care in shedding his winter coat and accessories. “But no, you had to wear them, because they are ‘cool’.”

“Shut up,” Buford growled. He added a tower of whipped cream to his drink, and when he tilted his head back to spray some directly into his mouth, Ferb snatched the canister from his hands.

“Don’t even think about it.”

Once his friends were settled with their drinks, Phineas clapped his hands together, his eyes glinting with excitement. “Okay! Who wants to kick off the homemade holiday sweater exchange?”

“I do!” said Isabella brightly. She thrust out a shiny, red-wrapped package. “Merry Christmas, Buford.”

Buford set his candy-cane striped mug down and took the gift, eyeing it warily. “If this has something adorable on it—”

“Open it and find out.”

“Because I swear, Princess, I explicitly said nothing cute or fluffy or—”

“Buford, just open it!”

Grumbling under his breath, Buford ripped off the paper, revealing a beige wool sweater. He unfurled it and, when his eyes caught sight of the design, he let out a disbelieving snort. “This is so stupid.”

Buford flipped the sweater so everyone could see the front, which displayed three fuzzy white kittens wearing reindeer antlers. Each kitten was wearing a black sweater featuring a skull wearing a Santa Claus hat.

“Those are certainly two things I did not expect to see together,” remarked Baljeet.

“It’s clever,” said Phineas with a laugh. “It suits Buford. Appears hard on the outside, but super soft on the inside.”

Buford narrowed his eyes. “If Ferb wasn’t sittin’ right there, I’d smack ya for that.”

“I know. That’s why I said it.”

Shaking his head, Buford refolded his sweater, sending Isabella a raised brow. “You think you’re clever, huh?”

“Pretty clever,” Isabella said with a nod. Her lips turned downwards slightly. “You don’t completely hate it, right?”

Features softening, Buford reached out to ruffle Isabella’s hair, causing her to squeak. “I’d hate it if you didn’t try to mess with me somehow.” He picked up a rumpled, blue snowman-wrapped gift. “Ferb, you better like this.”

Smirking, Ferb took his gift and peeled off the paper. He held out a dark green sweater, which was covered with Christmas-themed patches; festive Stumpleberry Finkbat characters from the harshly-panned Christmas special, red candles in brass holders, vintage Santa Clauses, nutcrackers, and mice wearing tiny mittens.

“I didn’t knit the sweater, but I sewed on the patches. That counts, right?”

“Sure does,” confirmed Phineas. “It looks awesome, Buford.”

Ferb nodded in agreement, lightly running his fingers over the patches. He sent Buford a curious look.

“Your parents helped me out,” Buford said. “Turns out they had a whole bin of old patches at their store. They tracked down the Stumpleberry Finkbat ones for me, too.”

“Thank you,” said Ferb with a soft smile.

“You’re welcome,” mumbled Buford.

Ferb twisted slightly, so he was facing the armchair. He smiled as he handed Phineas a teal-wrapped present. Phineas laughed. “This doesn’t count as my Christmas present, right?” he joked.

“You’ll see,” Ferb said simply.

Phineas eagerly ripped away the paper, revealing a knitted sweater that was the same colour as the wrapping paper. He gave a delighted whoop, excitedly displaying the sweater for his friends to see. Perry’s silhouette, including reindeer antlers, was stitched on the front with white thread. Above, in delicate cursive stitch, read ‘We Wish You a Perry Christmas’.

“Okay, that’s perfection,” declared Isabella.

“I kinda want it,” spoke Buford. “Wanna trade?”

“Not at all.” Phineas happily wrangled the sweater over his head. “This is mine forever.”

“I’m taking a picture of you and Perry later,” said Isabella.

“That would be awesome! Good idea, Is.” Phineas picked up a lumpy package wrapped in sparkling blue paper. “Merry Christmas, Baljeet!”

“Thank you.” Baljeet took his gift and carefully pulled apart the paper. His eyes went wide at the red dashes and dots pressed to a green sweater. “Does this…does this say Merry Christmas in morse code?”

“It sure does!”

Baljeet hugged the sweater to his chest. “This is the best sweater ever.”

“The best nerd sweater, maybe,” said Buford with a scoff. “Jeet, not a single person is gonna know what those dots and dashes mean.”

“Someone will,” Baljeet countered. “And when someone comments on it, I will know they are my kind of people. Thank you, Phineas.”

“You’re welcome! I’m so glad you like it.”

Baljeet nervously picked up a small, pink bag with pastel purple trees printed on the plastic. “Okay, this is really bad,” he said weakly. “Very terrible. I am not adept at arts and crafts, so I am very sorry if this disappoints you.”

“It’s not going to disappoint me, Baljeet,” said Isabella gently, leaning over Buford to rest her hand against Baljeet’s knee. “You put your heart into it, and that’s what matters the most.”

“If you say so,” said Baljeet dubiously.

Isabella removed the white tissue paper and pulled out a scrap of blue fabric about the size of a tea towel. A menorah had been stitched with thin gold thread, and ‘Spoiled For 8 Days’ was spelled out in clumsy stitching.

“Is…is this a sweater for Pinky?” Isabella asked slowly.

“Yes,” Baljeet said anxiously. “I could not do a human sweater, so I thought—”

He recoiled as Isabella let out a shriek of delight. She sprang to her feet and dashed to the door, sparing enough time to shove on her boots. She vanished into the snowy afternoon, leaving her friends to gape after her.

“Does she like it?” asked Baljeet frantically. “That was a sound of joy, yes?”

“Pretty sure she just ran off to get Pinky, so yes, I think she likes it,” said Phineas in amusement.

Phineas was correct, for three minutes later Isabella returned, holding Pinky aloft with a beaming grin. “Look at him!” she cooed. “It fits perfectly!”

The sweater did not seem to do much to calm Pinky’s shaking, but the dog did not seem to mind his new item of clothing. Isabella hugged him against her chest as she took off her boots, once more settling down on the couch.

She plopped Pinky into Buford’s lap before embracing Baljeet tightly. “I love it so much, Baljeet. Thank you.”

“You are welcome,” said Baljeet with relief.

As the others changed into their new sweaters, Phineas set up the television for their annual Elf viewing. Ferb came down with Perry, and neither boys noticed the way his eyes softened with affection when he spotted Phineas’ sweater.

The group of friends clustered together on the couch, elbows digging into sides and legs splaying over laps, but no one minded. Pinky stayed in Buford’s lap, sneaking licks of his whipped cream when he wasn’t looking. Isabella tucked her chin against Phineas’ shoulder, her feet resting in Ferb’s lap. Baljeet was sandwiched between Ferb and Buford, the former’s arm stretched leisurely over his shoulders. Buford pressed his socked feet beneath Baljeet’s thighs, carefully balancing Pinky in his lap.

Bathed in the multicoloured glow of the Christmas tree, the warmth that filled them had nothing to do with their newly acquired sweaters.

#phineas and ferb #pnf #pnfsecretsanta #holiday fic #phineas and ferb fanfiction #holiday sweaters #friendship #fluff #I work all day tomorrow so I figured I'd post early

23 notes · View notes

warriors-wyrms-writing · 1 month ago

Text

merry christmas to @popcornfairy28 who is my recipient for the Phineas and Ferb secret santa event this year! this was my first pnf fic venture, and I hope you like it

(also this is not on ao3 due to personal reasons but if anyone wants to put it there so long as you link back I’d die)

It was the first week of winter, and the first snow of the season had coated Danville in a soft white blanket. The last few fat flakes were still drifting lazily down from the cloudy sky when Phineas and Ferb emerged from the house, bundled up against the cold. Simultaneously, the gate swung open and Buford walked in, still clad in his t-shirt, but with Baljeet tucked under one arm.

“Hey, Dinnerbell,” Buford grunted, and Baljeet squeaked out a greeting.

Dainty footsteps crunched through the snow behind them, and Isabella peeked through the gate, black hair held back by a pair of earmuffs topped with a bow. “What’cha doin’?”

“Isabella, hey!” Phineas called. “We were actually just deciding that.”

Isabella stepped further into the backyard, her smile white as the glittering snow.

“Do you like my new scarf?” she asked, wrapping the end of it around her hand.

“Oh, yes,” Baljeet told her. “Is that aurora borealis or aurora australis?”

Buford promptly dropped him in the snow. “Speak English, nerd.”

Baljeet rose, sputtering, and brushed the snow from his overalls before turning back to the others. “Is that meant to be a depiction of the Northern Lights?” The scarf was patterned in beautiful striating waves of pink and green as Isabella held it out, and she nodded.

“Yeah! I’ve always wanted to see them for real,” she sighed dreamily.

Phineas turned to his brother. “Ferb, I know what we’re going to do today.”

“Where’s Perry?”

– – –

Perry the Platypus was shivering hard as he slid down the ice-cold slide to his secret lair. Icicles hung from the bottom of the monitor, and it was evident that snowdrifts had found their way through several of the secret entrances, piled up against the walls. His teeth clattered as he slid into his red chair, and Major Monogram appeared on the screen.

“Good morning, Agent P. I apologize for the cold, but our heater has broken, and Carl hasn’t fixed it yet.”

Carl’s voice came from offscreen. “I’m working on it!”

Major Monogram continued as if uninterrupted. “Unfortunately, our telephone lines have frozen as well, so we don’t know what Doof is up to. However, we know it’s something evil. Go out there and stop him.”

Perry chattered in agreement, and soon he was flying above the streets of Danville. Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated loomed before him, a hulking purple monolith against the grey of the sky. He landed outside, slipping some change into the parking meter, before entering the elevator and making the voyage to Doof’s penthouse on the top floor.

The elevator chimed as the doors slid open with a whoosh, and Perry stepped out. Digging around for a moment, he produced a key and quietly unlocked the door. Faster than he could move, a large red gift bow shot forward and wrapped itself around Perry’s body. He chattered angrily as Doofenshmirtz approached.

“Ah, Perry the Platypus. How unanticipated. And by that, of course I mean completely anticipated!”

Perry remained silent, gazing at Doof.

“Well, Perry the Platypus,” he began, “you know I’ve always been completely ambivalent as far as Christmas. But yesterday, I figured out – why do most people hate Christmas? The awkward social gatherings, of course! So, in order to make me really and truly hate Christmas, I will host the biggest Christmas party in the entire Tri-State Area!!!!”

Perry’s eyes widened, and Doof caught onto the movement.

“Now, Perry the Platypus, I know what you’re thinking. ‘But how will he get enough lights to provide the proper festive atmosphere?’ Behold!” Doof cried. “The Light-Drainer-Inator! With this Inator I will drain every Christmas light in Danville! And there is nothing you can do to stop me!”

– – –

Phineas stepped back from the invention. “It just needs one final touch…”

On cue, Ferb dropped down from the tree, placing a large bow on the top of the machine.

“Perfect!” Phineas declared.

“Oh, Phineas, it’s wonderful,” Isabella said, a dreamy sigh in her voice.

“Indeed,” Baljeet agreed. “This shall offer unprecedented opportunities for scientific study!”

“Well, it’s almost dark,” Phineas offered. “Let’s turn it on! Isabella, would you do me the honor?”

“Oh, Phineas, of course I will…” she began, before trailing off. “Wait, what?”

“Well, since it’s your scarf that inspired us, would you do the honor of flipping the switch?”

“Oh! Yes, of course.”

As Isabella turned the machine on it let out a gentle hum, and the five friends stood back. “Here we go!” Phineas cried. “3… 2… 1…”

– – –

Meanwhile, back at Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, Perry had escaped from his trap. “Who knew you were so good with knots?” Doofenshmirtz grunted as Perry’s tail slapped him across the face.

“Krrrrkrrrkrrr,” Perry responded.

“But you are too late!” Doof crowed triumphantly. “The Light-Drain-Inator will activate in 3…2…1…”

– – –

“Mom! Mom!”

“Slow down, Candace, it’s icy!” Linda puffed.

“But Mom, you gotta believe me! Phineas and Ferb have made the Northern Lights in our backyard.”

“Well, I certainly won’t see it if I slip and break my leg. Can’t we just walk like normal people?”

Candace groaned, but slowed her pace accordingly.

– – –

“Well, that was strange,” Phineas observed.

“Yeah. It was workin’ just fine, then all the light went out! Weird.”

“I hate to say it, but I agree with Buford,” Isabella stated, an air of confusion palpable in her voice. “The machine says it’s still going, but there’s nothing coming out!”

“It seems as though there is no longer any ‘Lights’ aspect of our Northern Lights,” Baljeet voiced, and the rest of the group sighed.

“Yeah.”

“But hey, it was fun while it lasted!” Phineas said.

“It really was,” Isabella told him. “Thank you, Phineas.”

“Of course, Isabella!”

Just then, Linda appeared at the door. “You ki8ds are out late. Why don't you all come in for some hot chocolate?”

Her proposal was met with enthusiastic assent. As they trooped inside, shaking snow off their boots, Candace stood stammering. “B-b-b-but…”

Phineas reached down to pat Perry, curled up by the fireplace. “Oh, there you are, Perry.”

Ferb was the last one in. “You know,” he said, “some people have reported the aurora making sounds.”

#pnfsecretsanta #pnf fanfic #phineas and ferb #phineas flynn #ferb fletcher #isabella garcia shapiro #baljeet tjinder #buford van stomm #secret santa #fanfic #writing #perry the platypus #heinz doofenshmirtz

24 notes · View notes

archester-creations · 3 years ago

Text

lost pictures

The contact on her phone stared back at her. Not for the first time she actually kind of questioned contacting him. If her dad found out, he’d be so disappointed. But it wasn’t like she was calling him instead because she hated her dad! He could just be… Well. Embarrassing. A bit much. Over protective. Not saying he wasn’t, too. He was just less so. Maybe it was his nephew's influence vs her being her dad’s only child, but oftentimes he was simply more willing to trust that she could handle herself. He was less likely to jump in unnecessarily than her dad was. Which was exactly what she wanted for this school trip.

Hey Perry | I need a favour |

| ?

Can you pretend to be my dad for a school field trip? |

Not like it'd be hard, Vanessa thought as she tapped the side of her phone, waiting for his reply. Over the years, staying with her dad and Perry slowly went from ‘dealing with my dad and his nemesis’ to ‘dealing with my two dads and their weird career choices’. Not that she'd tell them that. No, she'd let them figure that stuff out on their own. Her hands were washed of at least that part of their insanity.

| Dr. D?

He’s fine |

But mom is busy |

And you /know/ how dad is |

He can be so embarrassing and over protective and just |

So much |

And its just for a small school trip! Were going out of danville and i know hed be so much more protective |

She could practically see Perry raise his eyebrow at her, so she tacked on a hopeful ‘Please, perry?’

| What day?

Vanessa brightened up, smiling at her phone. Thank god. Now she'd just have to tell her teachers that her other dad is coming with. And with what happened last year, they’ll probably be too relieved to question it. The small pros of having your dad swear vengeance on cows during a field trip. She quickly sent him the dates so he could ask off.

With that done, she let herself finally focus on the rest of the planning. Or, packing. She'd gotten her mom to sign off on this trip before she contacted Perry. Since she was her original go-to. Unfortunately she was unable to go. It'll be interesting to see Perry as a school field trip chaperone. Maybe she could get him to show her places other than the ones the school took them to. There's no way the secret agent hasn't been to Washington before.

“Mr. Perrin Fletcher?” The short, stocky teacher looked at her clipboard then up at the both of them under her glasses. “Isn't that a different last name from your father’s?”

Vanessa shrugged. “Work related reasons. With my dad being a scientist he didn't want to confuse the scientific community with a name change in case he made some big discovery or anything.” She waved her hands in a half approximation of jazz hands and rolled her eyes like she thought it was dumb.

The teacher hummed, seeming to trust the reasoning, and moved on. Vanessa sighed with relief once the teacher was mostly out of sight. That wasn't a question she'd actually planned for. It was almost weird to even have it questioned. Fletcher or Doofenshmirtz, Perry was as much a staple of her life as her dad was. To have it questioned was like being questioned if she was really related to her dad. Which… come to think of it, she has been. Huh. Suddenly some of the teachers she’s had feel a touch more rude and she narrows her eyes in annoyance. Perry sent her a questioning look that she waved away. “I'm fine, Perry.” An eyebrow was raised but he left it, which she appreciated. He grabbed her extra bag and led the way into the bus when the door opened. They ended up in the middle of the bus on the side diagonal to the door. She couldn't help but wonder if it was strategic. The second they sat, Vanessa put her headphones in. Perry looked around a moment (definitely strategic) before he got his reading glasses and a book out.

A few hours later, they were in Washington and Vanessa wanted to stretch . Also eat. Neither Perry nor her brought food with them to eat on the bus, like the other students and parents had. (Both of them knew if her dad had known, he would’ve packed something for them and they silently mourned the loss together.) The second they got off Vanessa popped her back so loudly, Perry actually looked concerned.

“Alright, let’s get some food before we head to the hotel room,” Vanessa said and Perry easily agreed. They ended up in their room with taco bell.

The first day was nice, if a little boring. Though a highlight was definitely when Lacie told her ‘your dad doesn't do much, does he?’ and she had to keep a straight face as she told her ‘no. no he doesn't’.

The second day was where it got unexpectedly (which was really on Vanessa, she should expect this by now. Perry was just as much a weird magnet as her dad was.) exciting. The class had just separated to head to different smithsonians. Vanessa and Perry made their way to the American Art Museum. For the first half Vanessa got exactly what she'd expected. She appreciated and made fun of the art in equal measures. Next to her, Perry made some disapproving expressions with a half smile before he joined as well. (Modern art apparently was a joke goldmine for him.) Then a room caught her eye. More specifically, a person in the room. They looked familiar and she nudged Perry, gesturing subtlety to him when Perry looked up. It was great having someone for once who knew how to look without drawing attention.

There was a shorter man in the room (though Perry knew with slight distaste the man was taller than him), black hair tied up in a loose bun and dark eyes highlighted by dark circles that told of a lifetime of missed sleep. Or perhaps just a few weeks. He wasn't in his normal black dress shirt and white tie but Perry recognized him easily. Years of OWCA training had him good with faces. Months of furious dislike followed by more months of much calmer dislike where they no longer tried to rip each other's throats out when they met- okay, fine, Perry can admit perhaps eight times out of ten he was the one who started those fights. Of course the times when OWCA purposely assigned them together to help them work out their issues' didn't help.- made it much easier. Peter, code name: Panda. The third agent P. He squinted, annoyance crawling up his chest. When he'd agreed to accompany Vanessa for her trip to Washington, he knew there was a chance to run into him. It was low because Peter usually worked out of Seattle, but all of them moved around occasionally. They were secret agents, they didn't only fight their scientists even if it was usually their main job. For the ones of them assigned a scientist, at least. Perry had really hoped they wouldn't run into each other.

“You know him?” Vanessa whispered and Perry realized she must've caught his split second realization. A spark of pride welled in him. There were some newer recruits he knew that wouldn't of caught that flicker of emotion cross his face. Though he tamped it down to shake his head. “Bullshit. You do . I swear I've seen him before, too.”

Perry frowned and tracked his memory. Had she seen him? Well, she'd been there for some of his own battles against Heinz. And… there were ones he didn't see. Which means she could've met him and he didn't know. Of course, if she did the lack of Heinz mentioning it at least meant that Vanessa didn't join in even if she was there. While that no doubt disappointed Heinz, Perry couldn't help but be happy by that. A light appeared in Vanessa’s eyes.

“Ooo ooh .” There was a smirk that Perry didn't like. It reminded him of himself . “It's that other agent.”

His eyebrow twitched. Like a traitor, Vanessa laughed. Made fun of by his own fake daughter. He sighed.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t see much of him but I still think you’re cooler.” Vanessa winked at him and he couldn’t deny it made him feel a bit better. “Now let’s see what he’s doing.”

Quickly, Perry shook his head. This was not around where Peter lived (all agents lived in the same city as their assigned scientist) and he doubted Peter was here to appreciate the art. Which meant it had to be a mission. A non-Mystery related one, because while Perry could believe that Peter just liked the art, Mystery absolutely did not strike him as an art guy. Also because he'd remembered Pinky mentioning a recent string of art-thefts. Not only did he not want to interact with Peter in general, he didn't think Heinz would like it if he got Vanessa involved in a more serious OWCA-related case.

“Come on, Perry, please ?” And Vanessa took a step toward the mostly-empty-room with Peter inside it. “Don't you want to see what your rival is up to?” ‘Rival’ felt like it held the weight of multiple meanings; the way it was light and teasing but formed around a knowing smile with emphasis. Platonic- rival at work, during training, in the field. Romantic- rival in love. She continued her way backward until she turned on her heel and entered the room. Perry sighed and begrudgingly followed.

“ Hey , Peter,” Vanessa whispered before she got too close to Peter. She'd already seen her dad surprise Perry once before. If Peter actually was half as good as Perry, she wanted to announce her presence before his reflexes kicked in. The agent turned to her with an eyebrow raise. Only one swipe of his eyes and he let recognition show.

“Dr. Doofenshmirtz?”

“Not here.” Vanessa shook her head. A half-smile curled her lip. “I have a different chaperone.”

Peter looked at her questioningly, no doubt concerned with her expression. The moment he noticed Perry behind her was clear. Annoyance flashed along dark eyes. The corner of his lip twitched downward for the barest second. It kinda reminded her of Lacie whenever she had to interact with someone she didn't like in class. Except Lacie wasn't an agent who professionally wiped those emotions off their face the second they occurred. Though she wondered if Peter ever complained about interacting with Perry to anyone. Maybe the Professor Mystery her dad had mentioned?

“Perry,” Peter said tartly. It sounded like cold professionalism and it kind of made Vanessa want to laugh. Especially when Perry nodded in the same way. She wondered if this was how they interacted at work.

“What are you doing here?” Peter asked.

Perry nodded slightly toward Vanessa. “ School trip ,” he signed, then pointed at Peter, his head tilted and an eyebrow raised.

Peter raised both eyebrows. “Mission. Classified.” It was easy to catch the smug ‘need to know basis’ undertone. Red-brown eyes narrowed in annoyance.

There was definitely a fight brewing between the agents. In the corner of her eye, Vanessa caught sight of a pair of twins she recognized. Unlike Perry and her, who decided on just walking around, it looked like their parents had gotten an actual tour guide. Some young adult who looked tired and definitely worked there. Who had the power to kick them out if they made a scene. While she had led them here, that wasn't something she wanted. There were still sections she wanted to be able to look at. Plus, she'd gotten the information she wanted. She grabbed Perry’s hand to pull him away. “Come on dad, let's get back.”

A moment of confusion appeared on Peter before he smiled and let out half a laugh. “Have a good tour,” he said and turned away to leave through the door at the far end of the room, heading deeper into the museum.

“Hey Perry.” Perry looked over at her. “I know what we’re gonna do today.”

Perry shook his head. No, whatever it was it was dangerous, much as he did want to know what his supposed ‘classified’ mission was.

“I’m pretty sure Peter’ll hate it. Especially if we complete whatever mission it is first.”

… Vanessa was right. Peter would absolutely hate that. Fuck. “ Safely ,” Perry signed firmly.

“Of course ,” Vanessa said with a smile and maybe had she not been Dr. D’s daughter and clearly influenced by both the doctor and himself , he’d be more inclined to believe her. At least he knew just who to text for information. The second agent P.

The second he texted Pinky, asking what Peter’s mission was, the videocall rang. He frowned at the phone and answered. Immediately Pinky came into view, their long hair tied up in a ponytail and a tanktop on. Which meant Pinky was home and not at OWCA. Their laptop was in view, though the screen wasn’t.

“Why do you want to know?” Pinky leaned on a hand, half turned away from the laptop.

“We want to beat him to it,” Vanessa answered from behind him and he could see her popping into frame through the tiny box in the corner that showed him his own side of the call.

“Wait. Are you- Why are you even in Washington right now?”

For the second time that day, Perry signed “ School trip.”

Pinky’s eyebrow raised. “Is that your daughter?” There was no way Pinky didn't know the answer to that. Their families were neighbors, after all. And close on top of that. Plus Perry had told Pinky enough about her that he knew they knew exactly who she was. He almost rolled his eyes at the question.

“Yep,” Vanessa said and Pinky smiled. Apparently the agent approved. On the other hand, Perry felt his face grow hot. It was one thing to pretend to be her dad for the school. It was another to have two people who knew he wasn't her dad refer to him that way anyhow while they were fully alone. And even speaking on a secure channel. (Any electronic communication with Pinky was secure. The other agent had the of scrambling any and all lines- and doing it double when they were in contact with Perry. It was something he greatly appreciated about his friend.)

“ Mission ,” Perry cut in.

“Right,” Pinky gave him a shit-eating grin and he had the feeling Vanessa’s expression would be similar if he looked. He refrained. “I'll look that up now. You remember my price?” Perry nodded with a sigh. He'd have to ask Linda to make another pie.

“Price?” Vanessa questioned.

“Of course,” Pinky flashed a smile toward Vanessa, only taking their eyes off the laptop for a moment. “I don't normally do non-work related hacking and information gathering pro bono.”

Vanessa’s eyes widened and she glanced at Perry who didn't even flinch. Hacking ? As far as she knew, Perry did some hacking. But if he was going to this agent they must be even better. And if they did work outside the OWCA, they were definitely better. “What's your price? Do you teach?”

They looked over at her. “It depends on the job. Though Perry’s a friend, so I just get him to bring me food. I've taught my sobrina some but I've never taught anyone else. Why, looking for lessons?”

“ Absolutely ,” Vanessa said and Perry wasn't very surprised. It wasn't exactly a secret to him that Vanessa was interested in OWCA. From everything he’s seen from her over the years and everything he’s heard from Dr. D, he knew she’d be a good agent too. Though she hadn’t talked to Dr. D about it yet. That was one of those things Perry knew would lead to a discussion between them. Since that hasn’t happened, he knew she hadn’t told him yet. He looked from Vanessa to Pinky hacking into mission files beyond the screen. No doubt this would lead to that talk. Until then he’d be keeping a closer eye on Vanessa. There was no doubt in his mind she could do it and he’d be there for anything she needed. It kind of reminded him of training the new recruits. Except more important, somehow. Probably because it was Vanessa. Pinky said something, and Vanessa’s face lit up with interest. Perry wished Dr. D was here to see it.

“Remember those art thefts I’d told you about, Perry? The hired ones. Looks like our friend got assigned the mission to stop them,” Pinky said, phone already repositioned so they could look at their phone and laptop at the same time. “And the next painting is scheduled to be stolen tomorrow night. Before you ask, I found it. Among the Sierra Nevada, California .” The camera turned to show a painting. Large clouds and mist swirled over mountains. Multiple waterfalls spilled into a lake with deer at its grassy shore. Perry looked over to the painting they’d found Peter at, Vanessa doing the same. They were identical. According to the label it was made in London before touring through Europe, to St. Petersburg, and ultimately to America.

“Well, we don’t have to find it,” Vanessa said. Taking it as a cue, Perry turned the camera to show Pinky.

“Oh good. You guys got lucky, too. It was in storage last month,” Pinky said. “Now if you’ll excuse me.” Perry nodded his goodbye and Pinky hung up.

“So what now?” Vanessa asked. “Do we talk to the museum? Stake out the painting? Swap it with a fake?”

“ Wait .” At this point, that was their best bet. They couldn’t talk to the museum. If asked, they couldn’t reveal where they’d gotten the knowledge and it could interfere with whatever Peter planned. While he was okay with having a one-sided competition with Peter, he wasn’t okay with compromising another agent’s mission. And he was certain Peter hadn’t told the museum either. “ Plan .”

“Hey, Monobrow,” Heinz tapped the screen and Monogram looked over. “Do you know where Perry the Platypus is?”

Monogram raised his monobrow. He didn’t even ask how the evil scientist acquired access to the screen. Later he’d have to get Carl to fix that. “He requested a few vacation days recently. As far as I know he left yesterday morning.” He narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

“... no real reason,” Heinz said, eyes briefly looking off screen. “When do you think he’ll be back ?”

“In a few days, Heinz. No evil till then,” Monogram said.

“Yeah, yeah,” Heinz waved toward the screen. Then he shut it off. Apparently he’d have to find a way to entertain himself for a few days. Since Vanessa said she couldn’t come over and Perry was on vacation . Which was fine, the agent needed the rest. Hopefully he’d get some sleep . Something he’d love to get too, but he knew he was too wired for that. There was some cleaning he’d been putting off that he could get done today. And maybe tomorrow he could head to Washington. It’d been a while since he’d last had tea with Peter the Panda. He wondered how things were going with him and Mystery . He’d have to remember to call Peter later. Secret agent’s schedules could be so busy .

The next day after the smithsonian was interesting, if not very eventful. Though it was definitely fun. Even with Vanessa getting distracted occasionally, wondering how they'd deal with the theft set up for the night. Their class went to the zoo and broke into groups. Lacie and her aunt went with them. They walked around for hours. It was a bigger zoo than the one in Danville. Vanessa didn't think they could see it all even if they had the full day. But they did see the ‘important’ exhibits.

(“Dad, platypi! Do you think you're related to any of them?” Vanessa whispered at the platypus enclosure and Perry shot her an annoyed look that made her smile.)

(Perry nudged her with his elbow and when she looked, he pointed to her eyes and then one of the ocelots. She frowned at him. It was easy to translate- you have their eyes .

“I do not,” Vanessa said, glaring at his smirk.)

Eventually the day ended, though. Her classmates all went back to their small hotel rooms with their parents. And Vanessa and Perry snuck out for the museum.

It was dark inside. The museum had closed two hours ago. Perry took out his grappling hook and handed it to Vanessa to use. Since he only had one, one of them would have to climb the rope and he'd prefer it be him. She weighed it in her hand and smiled at him. Again, Perry wished Dr. D was here. It may not have been evil, but he knew his nemesis would've loved to see the light in his daughter’s eyes. When they got back he'd have to tell Dr. D about it. Of course, a few details would have to be left out but-

But he wouldn't be able to tell Heinz anything. Because he'd feel terrible knowing that he missed a trip with his little girl. Perry didn't regret going with Vanessa. Knowing that Dr. D didn't get to go too hurt, though. How many pictures could Perry feasibly take to make it better? To make it like Dr. D had been there himself? He knew Dr. D wouldn't complain or say it hurt, but could be take the edge off? He blinked and shook the thoughts away. Right now, they had a thief to stop. They had a plan to follow. Vanessa looked at him and when he nodded, she shot.

The grappling hook moved in a near perfect arc, up and up until it disappeared over the edge of the roof. Vanessa tightened it to make sure it stuck. Then she pressed the button and the rope pulled her up. Perry kept an eye on her as she went, ready to catch her in case anything happened. Thankfully nothing did. The rope came back down and he tested it before he shimmied his way up. They entered the museum through a vent and landed in the Lunder Conservation Center on the fourth floor, in the west wing. Down two floors in the east wing sat the painting. They'd have to go through at least three security locked doors to get there. Luckily, Perry had an all access badge. A badge that feasibly opened any and all doors that could be opened with a badge. There were two of them in existence. He'd helped Pinky make the badges a while back, when Pinky had been on their own non-owca mission. The Fireside Girls and Isabella had been in trouble then. Though they didn't know it then nor would they ever. They'd managed to get the badges to work in under two hours.

He pressed the badge against the reader and for a second it flashed red before the light turned green and the lock clicked. Vanessa gave him a look as he opened the door. The badges were a secret between him and Pinky. With a wink he pressed a finger to his lips. She rolled her eyes and passed through before him. With a smile he followed. (Honestly, sometimes messing with Vanessa felt like messing with Candace. Though the pride he felt with her half annoyed reactions was often… stronger. He had a feeling he knew what that meant and he’s sure Vanessa knew too.)

The lights are off when they get to the landscape gallery and Perry gestured Vanessa to crouch as he did the same. From what Perry got last night, the security guard should still be on the first floor. But the security guard wasn't all they had to watch for. There was the thief, and he didn't know how Peter would get in. Maybe through the vents. For now, they would wait outside the door out of sight and watch and listen.

It's when Vanessa shifts because her foot was falling asleep that something happens. A door opened quietly enough Perry almost missed it. He turned around just enough to see behind them and red-brown eyes met black ones. Looked like Peter found them first. Peter’s eyebrows lowered angrily and he crouched but that didn't erase the annoyed set of his jaw or the stiffness of his spine.

“What are you doing here?” Peter hissed at him the second he was close enough to do so.

Perry gave him a thin smile and shrugged. Peter glared in return.

“This is not your mission. Leave ,” Peter said. Beside Perry, Vanessa smothered a snort. Not well enough for Peter to miss it, though, given the brief glower. Perry himself had a brief war of reactions of laughing at that and sending Vanessa a quick but pointed glare. The glare won.

“You're as bad as dad at doing what you're told to,” Vanessa said, not looking apologetic or chastised in the slightest. Perry narrowed his eyes at her. But she was kind of right. Though he'd argue he'd gotten worse in the years (suspiciously close to when he'd been assigned Heinz).

“Take your daughter and leave me to my mission,” Peter repeated like they hadn't said anything. They ignored him again, like he hadn't said anything. There were footsteps that Perry could hear now, anyway. And they were running. Like a guard had noticed something and was making their way over, except Perry highly doubted it was a guard. Even when he saw the man running in a guard uniform. From the look Peter shot him, the other agent didn't buy it either. After all, why would a night guard be running toward them? There had been no other set of footsteps. The night guard stopped, his heels skidding against the floor. Perry looked up from his spot on the floor, taking in his appearance. The man was tall- taller than average- and lanky. Though the guard’s hat obscured his eye colour, it did not obscure his monkey face or his dark sideburns.

“Fellas,” the guard said. “What are you doing here?”

Peter shared a look with Perry before answering. “Official business.”

“Oh, official, huh?” The guard said as he rocked back on his heels. Perry got the feeling that if he'd been chewing gum in that moment, he would've popped it. “Then why don’t I know about it?”

Both Perry and Peter narrowed their eyes at him. From the beginning Perry guessed he wasn’t the real guard. That just confirmed it for him. There was no way Peter wouldn’t follow proper mission protocol, especially informing the museum of the stakeout. “Because you don’t work here,” Peter said.

The guard raised his eyebrows and looked from his guard uniform- the same uniform they’d seen the guards the day before were wearing- and the three of them. Peter in his black and white suit and fedora; Perry in the darkest shirt he’d packed along with his own fedora; Vanessa in her usual all black, though she’d traded out the dress for pants. None of them dressed like they worked there. Or in clothes that would exactly denote them as doing something ‘official’. Especially for a museum. Though out of all of them, Vanessa’s probably read most as ‘possible thief’. So there was that. Apparently Peter was done talking because he shot up out of his crouch to tackle the guard. The guard who spun easily out of the way despite his lanky limbs.

“Pops has a hat like this, I wonder if you know him?” The guard spun Peter’s hat around his pointer finger. Peter’s eyes widened slightly and he put a hand to his now-hatless head before he glared darkly. That had to be the first time the other agent ever lost his hat. Except possibly to Mystery. “Probably not, he wouldn’t send someone else after me and he’s more prone to weapons.”

Peter narrowed his eyes at the guard. “Give that back.”

“Sure.” The guard shrugged. “It’s not what I’m here for, anyway.” He threw it at Peter and bolted left, toward the painting. Perry jumped diagonally toward him. But the guard spun out of the way. It was like a dance and Perry usually liked the dance, but he liked it less with Vanessa so close. Not that she couldn’t handle herself. Over the years Perry had learned just how resourceful the girl was. But she was under his charge and wasn’t actually a trainee agent. ( Yet , from the way she talked. If she could convince Dr. D. Though Dr. D loved Vanessa so much Perry was sure it wouldn’t take much.)

The guard lifted the painting from the wall, carelessly rolled it into a tube in a single movement, and tucked it under his arm. “ This is what I came for.” He bowed to them and Perry growled. Before he could use his grappling hook to lasso the guard, Vanessa shot past him. It was foolhardy and it was fully a move Perry had done as a much younger agent, back when he was barely Vanessa’s age. She moved too quickly for him to grab her. But not too quickly for the guard, who grabbed her by the wrist once she got closer and spun her toward himself. That moment was the first time Perry noticed the guard had a gun and he cursed himself for it. It was careless and he was better than that. The gun was turned to his daughter and Perry felt his heart stop for a long moment where he planned every possible action he could take– until the guard gave a lopsided, curling smile.

The monkey-faced guard danced back, pushing Vanessa forward at the same time. She stumbled slightly with it. “I’d never shoot a lady.”

There was the honk of a car horn outside, and the guard turned his head to the window, lighting up. He went to the window to look out it. Like he’d completely forgotten the three of them were there. Or that he simply didn’t care. “Jigen! Right on time as always.” The guard looked back at them. “Well, that’s my cue!” Then he shot a few bullets at the glass and jumped. Peter ran to the window. With a growl he turned to Perry.

“He landed in a convertible. I’m going to follow it, you two stay here . This is my mission,” Peter said.

“ Actually ,” Vanessa said. She held up a rolled up tube. “He doesn’t have the painting.”

“What?” Peter turned to her from the broken window. Perry raised an eyebrow. With a smile, Vanessa unrolled the paper to reveal the painting they’d just watched the guard steal.

“I grabbed this when he pushed me away,” Vanessa said. Perry whistled, impressed, and her smile turned proud. Clearing her throat, Vanessa stood up a little straighter. Obviously trying to appear unaffected. He pretended not to notice. “I traded it for a poster I’d grabbed from the gift shop.”

Perry tilted his head. He hadn’t seen her buy a poster while they were at the gift shop. The only thing she’d purchased was a blank notebook that had some art replicas on random pages. Suddenly seeming awkward, Vanessa looked away.

“I might’ve, um, stole it earlier?” Vanessa said, shifting in a way that reminded Perry of Dr. D. Peter turned offended immediately. Meanwhile, Perry just lost it laughing. At least Dr. D might get a proud chuckle out of that if he ever, gods forbide, learned about this little ‘mission’.

“Do I seriously need to get on you for encouraging your daughter’s villainous behaviour?” Peter asked in a way that Perry felt was overly serious. Though if he was being honest with himself, he would’ve felt the same a few years ago. Amazing what befriending (and practically co-parenting with) your nemesis did. Maybe that was why OWCA’d originally disuaded it. It was one of the few things OWCA had told him that Perry ignored. Not for trying, of course. He smiled fondly at the memory, then at Vanessa as she turned brittle toward Peter.

“Hey, it was either steal something fake or steal the painting, either way he was going to steal something . You should be grateful I even thought to grab something!” Vanessa said. “We can pay for it before we leave, anyway, if you’re going to be such an Agent Grumpypants.”

Perry snorted. Loudly. He couldn’t help it and even if he could, he probably wouldn’t have tried. Peter looked angry and affronted at both of them. But he decided against saying anything about it, apparently. He looked between the two of them and perhaps Perry just saw things but something softened, and Peter placed his hat back on his head and straightened his collar.

“See that you do. I’m going to report back to Monogram,” Peter said and left out through the broken window. Perry could hear the slight displacement of air as Peter activated his hang glider. Vanessa and Perry looked at each other before both of them broke down laughing. Depending on what Peter told Major Monogram, he’d probably have to write his own report later. For now, he was glad to avoid it.

“ Ice cream? ” Perry signed.

“Are any places open right now?” Vanessa asked.

Perry shrugged.

“Guess we’ll find out,” Vanessa said.

There was a place that was open. It was a little place made of panelled wood with tables outside. They ordered two cones of separate flavours and set up at one of those tables, neither of them actually sitting on a bench. Perry leaned against the table while Vanessa sat on top of it. There weren't really any stars when they looked up at the sky, but they were both used to Danville’s clear nights and looked up anyway. Both quickly looked back down when they heard their names. Vanessa is sure her neck popped.

“Vanessa? Perry ?”

“Dad?” Why was he here? And at this time of the night. Not that her dad ever exactly went to bed any time before midnight.

“ You’re the reason he went on vacation?” Her dad asked. Vanessa held back a wince. Major Monogram must’ve told him. Snitch.

Not knowing what to say, Vanessa held up her cone. “Ice cream?”

“Oh, yes!” Her dad’s eyes lit up immediately and Vanessa gave him her cone. It wasn’t like she’d eaten very much of it yet, anyway. While he was busy with that she left to buy a new one.

“Can you believe Peter is doing other agent stuff right now? While you’re on vacation? What are the odds? You think maybe he’s taking something they were gonna give to you ?” Vanessa almost snorted at that. Whether they had or not, Perry and her had helped. “I hope he did well. I mean, I’m sure he did! Peter is a talented agent. Not as talented as you are, of course, Perry the Platypus. You’re like, super talented. But Peter is pretty good too!”

“How did you know Peter was doing something else?” Vanessa asked as she retook her spot on the table. Her dad had sat down next to where Perry was leaning, his legs folded up on the bench.

“Oh, well I’m visiting Professor Mystery, sweetheart,” her dad said. She barely refrained from rolling her eyes at ‘sweetheart’. In her opinion, she was a little old for that. But she could allow it for right now. “So tell me- Don’t think I caught you trying to distract me with icecream, though it was very clever!- what are you two doing here?”

Vanessa looked at Perry, who just shrugged. She did not frame from rolling her eyes. “I had a school trip and I just… wanted to go with Perry this time.”

Her dad nodded. “I see. Understandable, Perry is very cool. And responsible, are you having fun? How much longer is the trip, can I join? Do you want me to join?” Her dad looked hesitant on the last question and Vanessa found herself nodding.

“Sure, why not,” Vanessa said. It’d be like a full family outing. It could be fun. Plus with Perry there she’d have a bit of help holding her dad back from some of the big stuff. Like planning evil. She looked to Perry who also nodded.

“Right! It’s settled then,” her dad said and Vanessa thought he attempted to not look as pleased as he was, but her dad had never been good at hiding literally any of his emotions. It would be a lie if she said she wasn’t kinda happy too. Perry gave a thumbs up and her dad stole a bite of his icecream too, despite Perry’s halfhearted sound of annoyance, and Vanessa decided that it would be fun.

At the very least, no matter what happened, it would confuse the everything out of her teachers when her dad count mysteriously ups to two come morning.

#phineas and ferb #perry the platypus #vanessa doofenshmirtz #pinky the chihuahua #peter the panda #human perry the platypus #human perry #human au #perry the human #background perryshmirtz #fluff #domestic #mission fic #this was my pnf secret santa gift #they/them pinky the chihuahua #genderfluid pinky the chihuahua #writings

84 notes · View notes