#this was my first time putting effort in more detailed shading and didn't do well so I'm shamelessly reposting

[nan-estrelas]

this is so silly

[pinetrees-in-the-water]

what if ej x gn blind reader??😏

Anon your brain is so huge.... Im basically writing fanfic here but AAAAAAA

(Edit: Oh my god I noticed the smirking emoji way too late yall please be specific with wanting NSFW or SFW I was well Into fluff territory before I realized and I still can't tell what anon means, but SFW and NSFW under the cut)

Thank you for the request!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

◇EJ x GN! Blind Reader◇

• So EJ CAN see but his vision is more akin to like...cat night vision. Only sees in shades of gray.

• Basically the man is colorblind.

• He takes advantage of it and only hunts in the night, scouting out houses for possible victima to soothe his demonic hunger or or contract kills for The Operator.

• So when he's creeping around a what he thinks is an abandoned house and sees you walking around in the dark, his heart stops.

• Naturally, being blind has led to your other senses improving over time and you're barely able to hear a creak that DEFINATELY wasn't you.

• You grab the kitchen knife and reach for your phone in your pocket just in case you need to dial a neighbor or the cops.

• You hadn't turned around yet so EJ didnt notice you were blind, he tried silently moving towards you to knock you out when-

• "DON'T COME ANY CLOSER I CAN HEAR YOU!" You swung around with the knife in your hand. EJ saw your closed eyes and realized his mistake.

• "Hey hey Im sorry. Im not gonna hurt you. Ill get out right now." He pretty much bolted out the window leaving you confused.

• You DID call someone over to check and yeah...he left.

• Weeks later you found a note in braille at your door apologizing for the incident, you were shocked at the amount of effort this intruder was taking to amend his actions, he also explained that he'd been completely blind before and understood how terrifying it must have been.

• You don't know what possessed you but you wrote back and left your letter in the same place you found his. Thus started a pattern of you both writing back and forth.

• Eventually you both came to care alot for each other, you found out he was a part of a sort of task force and had killed before, but he wanted to "Spare you the gory details" so you didn't find out more for a while.

• He started helping you in small ways, fetching you groceries, running small errands since it was a hassle to get around with your condition, you aporefuated the kindess that was rare from other people. And slowly started falling for him, and maybe it was the way he wrote, soft yet deep voice or his constant compliments but it felt like he was falling for you too.

• Even though you couldn't see him, you wanted to meet him again in person (without the breaking and entering) and tell him how you felt. And so you did.

• He agreed but something was off even as you both laughed in the kitchen while baking, his hands..no his skin was ice cold. And even if he was talking and laughing with you he seemed unusually nervous, you could hear the tapping off his foot.

• When yoy asked him if somethibg was wrong he couldn't take it anymore and broke. He told you about his past and qhen he was turned in college, the ritual that put a demon inside of him and how he had no choice but to break into morgues and scout for the "morallly corrupt" so the demon had a source of food, it had turned him into a cannibal.

• At first you thought he was making fun of you and that it was some kind of joke, but before you could get mad his chilled hands took yours.

• "Do you trust me? Ill show you... I promise im not lying"

•You dont know what made you say yes but you did. He took your hands and put them on his face so you could feel his features which were definately human..and after you were done his face started to morph, skin splitting and his jaw unhinging to reveal what felt like razor-sharp teeth.

• His mouth closed as soon as it opened. He tried pulling away and running but you didn't want him to this time.

SFW:

• As said above Jack loves providing acts of service for you. Groceries? Cooking? Cleaning? call him your malewife because he's doing ALL of it.

• Of course he doesn't treat you like some helpless child and respects when you qant to do things yourself but still always offers just in case.

• After you both properly get together and you know his past hes noticibly more physically affectionate while making sure not to startle or scare you with sudden touches.

• Takes EXTRA precaution to make sure youre out of The Operator's radar since youre at a bit of a disadvantage (a tad overprotective)

• kisses you on your eyelids (kicking my legs and screaming)

NSFW:

• Regardless of who he's with he's a soft dom (Im tired of yall slandering my man's name HES A SWEET BOY.)

•Jack is so gentle. Mainly because he's terrified of doing something wrong.

•He's a big boy at 6'5 so a good chance hes taller than you, and hes somewhat muscular too so he's aware theres a huge imbalance in your relationship and checks in on you every once in a while to make sure youre okay with him doing anything.

• He has 3 tongues.....need I say more?

•Goes down on you VERY often, somwtimes gets a bit carried away and overstimulates you

•Even if you can't see him he ALWAYS ALWAYS compliments how pretty/handsome you look during sex.

• Sensory deprivation but just....always.

• Despite being majorly soft that doesn't mean hes not an absolute tease in bed. 100% makes you beg. And definately takes advantage of tue fact that you cant see what he's gonna do next.(Will feel guilty if you accuse him of bullying you for being blind)

[tolbachik-art]

How does one become good at drawing planets

Hey, thank you so much for the kind words & the question!

I'm still definitely a beginner, and have a long way to go, but it really warms my heart to hear you say that. For starters, getting over any perfectionism you may have is a big must!

I know a lot of people always say this, but practice, time, patience, doing studies, and having fun are the most important ways to get better!

I'll walk you through my progress, and what I've done to get where I am today with things! I will warn you, it did turn out to be a long winded post. If you want the jist of it, you can scroll to the bottom!

So, I've been doing digital art since say, mid 2015 or so. I didn't have much of a grasp on art, and while I grew up loving space and space exploration, I didn't quite understand how things worked.

On August 2nd, 2015 (when I was just 15), I posted my first piece on DeviantArt.

This was my first foray into space art. It may not be the best, but I remember being very excited about it, and actually making a piece like that.

This first piece is a big sign of what issues I would face with space art until very recently; a lack of detailing, leading to a soft appearance.

This would plague me for quite some time; I would put very little effort into detailing, and wouldn't even zoom in on the canvas for quite some time. I would do things from afar, not wanting to zoom in for some weird reason. This can be seen in the following paintings, as well.

This one, also of Neptune, was posted two years after the first one. The framework is kind of there, but only barely. The perspective is off, and once again, the detailing is too minimal and too soft. On top of that, the shading isn't nearly as harsh enough. Compositionally though, I was starting to get a grasp of some basics.

There would be a brief artless period in my life from 2017 to 2020; every once in awhile, I wouldn't do art for a few years. Then, suddenly, I would get back into it and put out several pieces, all before growing quiet once more.

2020, once Covid-19 started happening, would see the return of me to the world of art now that I was suddenly without a job.

Once again, Neptune will be a demonstrator of how my skills changed.

I was starting to get there; in terms of composition, much better than my older works. Coloring is a bit off, but overall, I was starting to actually understand how art works, and why things like detailing were important. One big thing here though; I was still painting with color. That would be one of the last big things for me to get over, although I didn't even know it then.

From the period of 2020-2021, I made a lot of paintings and mission patches for my one friend's KSP youtube series (seen here).

Doing what were essentially mini paintings, I learned a *lot* about composition and detailing. I think the one I spent the longest on was Heywood, in which I did my best to follow imagery from Voyager. Looking back now, however, it isn't quite accurate; that's the south pole! I still had a lot to learn in regards to doing accurate portrayals of celestial bodies, down to inclinations and the like.

Anyways, doing all that really burnt me out, on top of doing free art for people I didn't even know. That's another big lesson; only do gift art if you feel up to it, and for a friend. Do not do it for strangers.

It wasn't until late 2022, in September, that I actually finished a piece again. My illness had been pretty bad, leaving me bedbound for quite some time. However, during that time, I hadn't lost my skills thankfully.

This would be one of my first somewhat decent portrayals of Jupiter and one of his moons, using SpaceEngine for getting reference images and making sure all the parts were in the right place. This would set the groundwork for later paintings, as I always use SpaceEngine now to make sure I have the orientations and sizes of things in the sky right! It's been an invaluable tool, I quite literally don't know where I'd be without it.

Anyways; after that, it was very sparse once more, up until quite literally this year. Sickness sprung up again, and I had a rough winter due to the loss of my grandfather to Covid-19, among other things.

2024 saw, in my personal opinion, the biggest and best change to my art yet.

PAINTING IN VALUES!!!!!!!!!

I cannot stress this enough; understanding what values are, and how to see them in every day life literally changed my entire perspective on things. On life! I cannot go outside anymore without comparing and contrasting values of objects and natural phenomena.

This was before values. Not bad, but still not great. Detailing was getting there. This is from March 27th, 2024, and was part of an art trade with @dan-asd of their worldbuilding project.

And this, this is 3 months later, from July 16th, 2024. Commission for @corvidist, my very first. This was a massive leap in the way I understood and processed the world around me, and in turn, what my art looked like.

Everything is in values. Your phone, with the seemingly pure black LCD touchscreen to the blue and purple phone case. The clouds, with their bright white tops and dark bottoms. The river, with the murky green waters contrasting with the bright orange stones. All values, just differing shades of gray with color added! Everything is light! Everything is the absence of light! Light is the entirety of your piece; you just have to understand where light falls, and where it doesn't.

Apart from that, everything is just rudimentary shapes and lines. The universe is made up of different kinds of lines and shapes. Entire worlds can be reduced to light and lines, people can be too. You just need to know what to look for, and how to process that into artwork.

I cannot stress how much understanding that, and doing tiny little paintings really helped me get a much better grasp on things.

Take some time, get a small canvas out, and paint your favorite celestial body. Take as much or as little time as you need, and just have fun with it. Play with color, play with values, whatever your heart desires!

Once you're done, take a step back, and compare it to the picture. Analyze what areas you didn't enjoy, and what areas you did. Look for what doesn't line up with the picture, and think of how you could better approach it. Think of how you can change the lighting to make it seem more real, what effects are needed to bring it to life.

Art is the process of taking what you love, and putting it to paper (digital or not!). Focus on what you enjoy doing; it will all come naturally with time. You'll start to pick up on things, big and small, that will bring your pieces closer and closer to what you want it to be.

And please, for the love of everything that is holy, have fun with it and don't overthink it! You will be so disappointed in yourself if you hype yourself up for a piece, only for it to come out not the way you expected. That's ok! That's part of learning! It can be disheartening, but if you take the time to look at how and why you don't like the piece, it'll come out so much better next time around!

Talk to people, too! Talking with my dear email-pal Eduardo was my first step into understanding astronomical art, and thinking on how to improve my work. He really helped me step into the right direction when I was just starting out, which I am still eternally grateful for to this day. I think of him and his work often; he really was a massive help.

In more recent times, talking to @whirligig-girl helped me to get a better grip on realism, and how better to portray celestial bodies. She was a huge help in giving me pointers for fixing up my View From Amalthea piece, as well as the ones that followed after. Talking to artists more experienced than you and getting critiques is always a huge help; it can really show you things in a new light!

Speaking of, don't be afraid to let a piece rest and marinate for a bit. A day, a week, or even a year. It doesn't matter. You will come back to it, and you will see new things you never saw before, and think of new ways to improve upon it. I have a piece that's been in limbo for YEARS, and I still have yet to actually get to paint it (the top one, the alien one (i will never finish that Uranus piece though lol)). I have it perfectly envisioned now, so waiting really did pay off in the end.

Essentially, it all boils down to this:

Everything is light, or lack thereof.

Don't overthink it, and have fun.

Do not do free art for strangers.

Everything is shapes and lines.

Step back and look at your pieces, deconstructing them in your mind or on paper.

Examine your everyday life, and see how everything interacts in terms of values and color.

Do studies, please god, do studies they're so fun and eyeopening

Warmup! Warm! Up! WARMUP!!!!! They are critical to getting your mind in the art headspace! You will feel less interested and less focused otherwise!

Don't worry about your medium, just do what you enjoy and works best for you! There is no such thing as a perfect brush!

Talk to other artists in fields you enjoy!

I love talking about art, I really could go on for hours, but I will stop myself here.

You decide what you get out of art; it's your skill, your time, so do what you desire! These are only anecdotes about my experiences with art; they aren't universal, but I do hope they've helped. If you have any questions, any questions at all, don't hesitate to reach out!

Lastly, here are two resources for you for any future artworks you may do:

I got this book many years ago, but the lessons it gave me were invaluable. I mean it; they helped me to understand the importance of doing studies, and for detailing!

Paid membership, but an organization dedicated to doing astronomical art. I have yet to join, but I've heard lovely things about it! Hoping to join later this year, funds allowing.

I will finally end this here. Thank you so much for the ask, and I hope you have a lovely rest of your day!

[ihopesocomic]

I'm so sorry if it's too long but I just did a reread and decided to take a look at the designs on Toyhouse and it reminded me how much I love IHS.

I love all the designs of your characters, they are so deliberate. Take the Golden Grove family for example. Their fur colours perfectly match the name of this pride - all characters from this place are golden/have fur that's a certain shade of gold. Just by looking at them you can tell that they're related. But that's not everything.

I looked at the designs of three sisters and their parents and I noticed how some of the traits of their parents can be found in their daughters. Vicious is almost a copy of her mother Watchful, while Clever looks so much like her father Wild. They all have respectively a similar coIours and face shapes. In all of that Careful, the middle child here, is a perfect combination of her parents - she has her father's muzzle shape and eyes shape but her colour palette is more like her mother's. All marks are placed with so much thought that they help to recognise a character. The funny thing about the similarities with parents is that you probably created sisters first and then their parents - so you actually had to take a look at the sisters and then create their parents. While making sure everything made sense.

I tried to find similarities with Hope, Adamant and Quiet but I find it a bit harder, maybe cause they're still young. But older Hope definitely reminds me of Clever and Careful, rather than Vicious. Maybe it's the fur on her cheeks. I noticed that Adamant has the same fur colour as her grandfather, Jasper the First and I find it cute. And of course, how could I not mention Breccia and her freckles that she gave to all of her grandchildren. I love them <3

What I mean to say is that I adore how much thought and effort you put into your story. Every time I reread I find something new to adore. I love the plot and world, but I really like how you also put effort into your designs. You manage to make all characters stand out and be easy to recognise but you also find a way to make sure that audience can tell who is related to who. Thank you so much <3

And tbh I really like the new schedule with a page for week.

Well first of all, I do love a good wall of text, so don't apologize haha

Second, I'm glad you like the new schedule. It's actually activated the speculation part of the fandom, which we also love LOL

Third, THIS MAKES ME HAPPY! I love when people go back and notice the details we included. I did work backwards from the sisters to the parents, just because we had no intention on showing the grandparents, but people asked and I thought they'd be fun to design too. And they were! (This is to go with a previous ask, but this is also part of why we did away with color-coding, just cuz Wildfire looked great as a blonde, but maybe he's from somewhere sandy, who knows.) And it was interesting distributing all the different characteristics of them. Still not satisfied with Careful, I wish I'd thought on her a biiiiiiiit longer. I just didn't think anyone would care about her LOL

Hope will look more like Clever when she gets older, so once I can properly elongate her face, it'll be more obvious. I'm slowwwwwly gonna show them aging, Storm's hair will get longer, Adamant will be more buff, stuff like that. Right now (and people will see this on next week's page) Hope actually looks pretty similar to Careful. Careful just has to pull some more... Hopelike faces first for it to be obvious haha

Overall I'm happy with the designs and it brings me much joy to have people analyze them. Character concept is one of my favorite things to do, and I like being creative while being limited at the same time. Lions are a good way to practice that. So thank you again! - Cat

[phantom-of-the-ruckus]

Miriam Nack

Since my friend @ericaportfolio is doing her version of Nick's dad, I decided to start the first Handeemen Parent with Nick's mom (since..I may or may not have used a wheel of names-) I'm also keeping them not too shaded due to time wise and me not loosing my sanity (i'll give themsome upgrades when I finished the whole set)

Originally I was going to put her hair on a bun, but I actually love how her hair looks this way.

Now to some details!!!

Miriam Elizabeth Nack:

She is from Toulouse, France and moved to where the Handeemen world is due to her family business. (Suit was colored referencing both Nick and the flag)

She is fluent in French, English, Italian, and Spanish

She has a major in Accounting, and helps with the Nack's boat business in that aspect as the finances CFO

She met Leighton when she was 10 due to both studying at the same prestigious school he attended

Her best friend was Nicole Nack (@dolly-royal OC), and she used to call her "Mimi"

Although it was rumored numerous times she and Leighton (owner of his family business) got married due to business reasons, they actually married due to love reasons and are very much devoted to the other.

Although Miriam often scowls and tends to show little emotion, Nick got a lot from her personality, charisma, and well his caring and emotional side (but Nick got his emotional instability and self stem issues from his dad)

Miriam tends to show her emotions off business and more around Leighton. I wouldn't say that she didn't show any love and emotion to Nick. as I do think she was the more loving and "softer" (she was strict) parent comparing to Leighton. So, Nick doesn't have too many bad memories of her, and would say, if asked, that Miriam was a better parent than Leighton

Although Miriam is in the upper class, she worked and studied hard to get where she is now, and Leighton respects the hell out that from her. He reminds the press and these employees to never refer to Miriam as simply his wife.

Miriam disapproved Nicks choices and aspirations to be an artist due to thinking he was wasting his talents and opportunities on a hobby, unlike Leighton feeling betrayed that Nick refused to take over his company. I do think Miriam came to understand Nick chose his happiness, and a tough realization that he was no businessman.

I do think if Nick and Leighton lowered down their egos, Nick would reconnect with his mother and Miriam would make the effort to understand Nick's passion

Miriam is still heartbroken about the fact that Nick left home and barely talks to his parents (mostly due to Leighton, as he is more impulsive) and she's the one that funds Nick in his projects and does send small amounts of money for his birthday and Christmas.

Although she dresses in some designer clothes, Miriam loves to appear elegant but isn't someone who particularly cares about brands of Clothing. The designer clothes are gifts from Leighton

Although Miriam was strict in Nick's education, she did not hesitate to stop or intervene when Leighton went overboard and tended to undo his worst punishments .

She has amazing abilities at the piano, but is a skill that she doesn't like to particularly talk about. Nick learned piano from her as it was the first time Nick actually wanted to learn something out of interest. She taught him everything she knew.

Out of reasons she does not like to discuss, Miriam dislikes Leighton's parents (Kristopher and Opal Nack) and often refuses to accept their gifts (specially from Kris himself). It is rumored that something bad happened within Kris and Miriam, but she refuses to talk about it. If you were wondering, Kristopher and Miriam aren't like the best grandparents as they did scar Leighton emotionally, but were more loving to Nick.

If Nick was ever genderbent, he would look a lot like Miriam

Here are some other headcannons about her in an old annon ask:

If you have questions and curiosities, feel free to reblog or ask ^^

[upn-the-sky]

This post made return to the codex and one more time!! GOW Ragnarok and Valhalla blowed out my mind!! Valhalla's codex literally illustrated by Kratos, well, there is a bunch of Atreus's drawings too, but mostly Kratos do it himself and it is very interesting to analyze. ___ First of all, if you didn't notice, there is Kratos's greek handwriting on his drawings

Actually, sometimes it seems just like compulsively written letters, but nope, his handwriting completely shows his character and how busy with thoughts is his head all the time, like FASTER, FASTER!1

Just for comparison, here is Atreus's nordic handwriting

But let's return to Kratos's art style. His drawings are not very detailed in comparison with Atreus's and lineart is rougher and bolder, but the are very accurate anyway. Also his works are obedient to the certain rules, the more thoughts or feelings about the subject he has - the more angled geometry he put into it. Generally he draws square meanders - classic antient greek patterns, and when he draws these, he is THINKING and worrying.

Whrn his mind is calm, his drawings are just sketchy. Nothing special besides lil single meanders here and there. Kratos rarely do shades, and even more rarely do hatching. And his drawing are not very dimensional. Raeb by Atreus - Dead legioneer by Kratos

Also Kratos doesn't draw faces and hands properly. But in Valhalla his mind is pushing to the edge and his drawings sometimes starts to shows unspoken emotional responses about the things he forsed to remember.

Let's look at Helios.. GEOMETRY AND SYMMETRY appears. Meanders (agressively?) "looks" outside, seems like he didn't want to take efforts over this (but still made these drawings good %)). Honestly, he put more precision in drawing Ares's dead soldiers than in these two pieces. Understandable. Ares's soldiers can't speak.

OKay, we all know what Kratos feels about the Olympians, and here you can see the difference in a mood Orkos's stone, first lining of stone is rough, but then refined over it with a more precise, hard, black line, and all trapped in a circle. It is the first fully complete circle he drew, and all meanders "looks" inside (autoagression maybe or just a need to calm himself with familiar patterns? maybe both).

There is very much anxiety and saddness here, oh, and by the way, that's how Kratos see himself - an uneven, blurry shadow with swirling darkness inside - a "ghost" in one word

More geometry. Pandora drawing in a big BIG meander depicting a "maze". Small meanders "looks" inside again (autoagression?/need to calm himself?/both?) Oh and he wrote her name here.. Πανδώρα This drawing is not so compulsive as the previous, more thoughtfull. His actual frustration can be seen in this big "dot" near her name. Like he wanted to write more, but changed his mind. And the lowest meanders are inverted upside down like he forgot the direction he drew them.

Lysandra's pendant and Calliope's flute drawings Geometry, symmetry Pendan't patterns seems more trembling, insecure as he said he feels about his wife (but I also see "heart" shapes in it). His hand is more steady at flute drawing

What else did I found... After reviewing Ragnarok codex wishing to compare their art style, I noticed this piece. The Lyngbakr drawing made by Aterus, with his handwritings, fine detail, his significant swirls and wait- MEANDERS? this square geometry looks very outcast here, like it were drawn over swirles and circles turned into squares.

If you look at the banch of Atreus's drawings, you'll that he just doesn't draw square patterns, only round ones like waves, and these pointed ones which looks like uh claws?.. and and very rarely - schematic runic patterns

Well, if we remember, Lyngbakr's story impressed(?) Kratos very much.. Maybe Kratos returned to this pages in the codex and uh thoughtfully uh intervened in his son's drawing. %) Anyway, it was the single episode in Ragnarok codex and it can be just a coincedence, BUT THEN WE LOOK AT VALHALLA CODEX AND WHAT IS IT? Kratos is messing around with his symmetric geometry and meanders on Atreus's drawing again. He just misses his son, let's forgive him. And his scribbles are so dim like he tried to erase them..

Thinking about how Angrboda asked Atreus if Kratos draws and he laughed and said "no" but we see Kratos' journal and there are beautiful drawings of things he is describing haha

[roman-cates]

The patio is large and sprawling and totally deserted. The grills are covered, most umbrellas over the tables closed. There's a trellised walkway opposite the grills that offers some shade. Roses twine up the sides and grapevines are woven into the arches.

Previous

The pet carries Roman down the stairs and out to the patio, where he takes him over to the trellised walkway and sets him down carefully in the shade before getting on the ground as well.

"Are you okay?" The words from the captive's mouth surprise Roman a little. He was going to ask that. The man looks a little scared... Now Roman understands the question. He's scared that he hurt Roman and that Bryce is going to do something about it.

Roman shakes his head. "I'm fine... you don't have to worry about it. I... don't think you could make it worse if you tried." He gives a small, nervous laugh.

The captive doesn't really seem any more relaxed at that answer. Still, he speaks again at a somewhat normal volume, not in the hushed whisper he used in the dining room. "What happened to you..? My master says you tried to run away."

Roman hesitates, not really wanting to discuss that. "... Um... yeah... I did try."

He's torn in that moment... Bryce was very lenient from what he can remember of afterwards— which isn't much. Mal, he knows, would not be. It was her people that did this to him, after all. Part of him wants to encourage this man to try and run if he gets the chance. The other part of him knows what might happen to him if he fails. In the end, he remembers that anything he says might be recorded. It's probably wiser not to encourage him to escape anyway...

"It... was stupid of me," he says, and it's true. He would have been fine if he had stayed put. By trying to leave, he brought all of his injuries on himself. Bryce wouldn't have hurt him if he stayed. And he would have protected him, more than likely. None of this had to happen. "My... my master," his stomach twists at the word, "was... very upset with me..." Also true.

The man looks at him, quiet, as if expecting more. Roman doesn't want to say more.

"... Um... I... When I tried, some of Ma... some of your master's people caught me. They, uh..." Roman closes his eyes for a moment, fidgeting with his hands.

"What did they do..?" The man asks after a long moment of silence from Roman.

Roman shakes his head, resolving to tell a slight lie to avoid going into a lot of detail. He lets his mind detach a bit from the blurry memories. "Y'know, I dont really remember anything." He does remember quite a bit before he lost his fingers, but it's all sort of hazy and takes way more effort to recall than he wants to spend on those memories. "I know they smashed my ankle and cut off two of my fingers." He glances at his hand. The man follows his gaze. When Roman looks back to the man, his expression is oddly skeptical.

There's another awkward moment of silence where the man is obviously waiting for more. Eventually, Roman speaks up and changes the topic. "Er... what's your name..? I'm... Roman. If you didn't hear at the table."

The man gives a hesitant look, not speaking still for a moment. "... My name is Pet."

Roman cringes a little at that. "No... I mean your real name. Not whatever she told you to say."

Again, the man pauses. "... I don't have any other name." He insists after a moment.

"Did... you forget it..? Or you just really don't want to say."

"My name is Pet." He insists again, this time significantly more forcefully than before.

Roman backs off of the question. "Okay. Sorry. I didn't... didn't mean to upset you."

They lapse into silence again for a few minutes while the captive calms down, and then starts to look as if he's trying to think of something to say. Some other topic to approach, maybe? Roman speaks first, wanting to avoid more questions about his escape attempt.

"Are you okay here?" Roman looks over the long clothing the man is wearing and wonders how hot it must be... It's not a cool day by any means. "Why are you wearing long sleeves?"

"I'm wearing what my master wants me to wear," he answers, as if it should be obvious. "Aren't you?"

Roman opens his mouth to say 'no', then stops. Bryce did pick all of his clothes, didn’t he..? Thrown a bit off guard by this new revelation, Roman gives a shrug, then shakes off the thought. He can worry about that later. "Are... my master thinks your sleeves are hiding injuries. What... what are they hiding?"

The man looks taken aback and almost confused— as if he hadn't heard that said at the table. "Nothing. Just my arms." Roman doesn't have to ask to see. The man pulls up his sleeve for a moment, not very far, but far enough that Roman is at least relatively sure he's telling the truth.

"... Has she hurt you..?" Roman asks, suddenly uncertain now that he's seen the lack of injuries.

"What? No. My master takes good care of me. She hasn't hurt me because I haven't done anything wrong. She tells me I'm a good puppy."

Roman has to fight hard not to grimace. His stomach gives another sickening twist. "And... is that what you think you are? A good puppy?"

The man's expression falls a bit and he casts his eyes downward. "I... I think that my master has far, far too much patience with me. I can see it in her eyes sometimes that she's... not happy with me..." His expression lifts a little again as he meets Roman's eyes once more. "But she's kind to me. She hasn't really hurt me at all. I'll figure out what it is she's not happy with in the end and I'll fix it."

She hasn't really hurt me at all.

Hasn't really... what exactly does that mean..? Roman isn't sure and is too afraid of the answer to push. This entire conversation has just given him less and less hope. The man's answers physically pain him. It's like every shred of individuality and humanity has been stripped away. This man really does think of himself as a puppy— a pet. As long as he thinks that way, he's going to be stuck here. And Mal will hurt him eventually. Maybe Roman is taking too much of an indirect approach.

"You... know it was her people who did this to me, right? The broken ankle. The missing fingers. That doesn't scare you at all?"

"Well..." the man answers, a bit timidly, "it... was sort of your own fault, wasn't it? You shouldn't have tried to escape. What you got was deserved. I wouldn't do that."

For a moment, the world seems to freeze around Roman. There are so many ways he could respond to that... Part of him wants to lash out and tell at the man. It's not his fault— he didn't ask for this! But... another part of him— the bigger part of him— just feels shame. He shouldn't havedone that. It was stupid of him and he knows that. Maybe this man really will be 'okay'. He doesn't seem to be as prone to stupid choices...

In the end, Roman settles on a third response, although he's tense in a minor display of the first response and tears start to well up in his eyes over the shame that fills him. "Just... I just need you to know that she's not safe. She's not patient— she's cruel. And you're gonna find out the hard way, whether you do something wrong or not."

The man sets his jaw. His eyes harden and Roman knows he went too far. "You think my master is cruel? What about yours? I'd rather be with her than with him any day. How'd you say you lost your fingers?" His head tips slightly to the side, almost as if the question is a challenge. His sudden change in mannerisms alarms Roman a bit.

"I... they were cut off after my failed escape attempt. I told you— I don't really remember..."

"Mhm. It wasn't her people. It was probably your own master. He would've had every right to after you tried to run away. And he's done it before. There was another pet, apparently. He tried to run away too. My master told me about him. His name was... Philip, I think she told me. Your master cut all of his fingers off. All except for two and a thumb. And she said he took them all off in different ways. It seems to me that it's much more likely your master did that to you to punish you for trying to escape than that her people did it."

Roman is speechless and a little pale by the time the man finishes talking. He can't think— can't process. All he can respond with is a weak, "that's a lie."

The pair of them sit in silence for a long, long time. The man seems to regret what he said after a while... he looks down and fidgets with his hands. There's no more conversation to be had. All Roman can do is turn the story over and over in his head again and again...

Eventually, footsteps can be heard. Roman is... confused.

"Hey..." comes the now quiet voice of the captive sitting close by. "My..." he looks down, nervous or ashamed, Roman can't tell. "My name used to be James... when I was a kid..."

Before Roman has any kind of chance to respond, Bryce steps into view.

[raposabranca]

Okay, I'm going to talk about this on my main art account because I haven't seen this being addressed yet (there are obviously other pressing matters) but I believe it deserves to be acknowledged both by art appreciators and artists alike:

ANIMATIC ISN'T WHAT YOU MAY THINK IT IS. "Fan animation" IS NOT called "Animatic".

This is not me being a snob, it's what the words were created for, and using them wrong may be misleading at best and upsetting/unrealistic at worst. Allow me to explain in as much detail as I can right now, so watch out for a long post:

ANIMATION, ANIMATIC, AND WHY IT MATTERS: THE LONG POST

First of all, remember that every animation is a film or video. Even if it's an animation that is composed by mostly static images and it may few weird to call it "animation", it's still a realized video or film (or MV - music video -, student film, etc)

Very roughly put and with many caveats as every studio/person is different, once the pre-production stage of an animation moves into production the process goes like this:

STORYBOARD: A storyboard is a graphic portrayal of a narrative, concept, or script, divided into sequential scenes (panels). Usually, it is done based on a written or roughly drawn script, and it serves to translate the story visually so placement, movement, timing, and camera angles are better understood or articulated. It's often done even for live-action movies.

They can be as detailed or as general, as clean and shaded or as scribbly as they can. Their point is being a visual sequential reference to the script.

Examples (more here):

Batman: The Animated Series opening

This Batman storyboard puts a lot of effort in making the images very clean and readable and in high contrast, which is useful in a noir series.

Super Mario Odyssey cinematic sequence

Mario is a lively series where depth, character silhouette, and fluidity are favored, so it's okay if the storyboard is scribbled if it's coherent to the movement and characters.

ANIMATIC: An animatic is a string of storyboard images edited together with sound to illustrate how a sequence will flow in motion. (...) [It] is basically an animated storyboard. The same images you’ve already created as a storyboard are now put into a video and can include dialogue, sound effects, and music. 

TL;DR it's a storyboard, that is, those static panels that can be as detailed or as rough as they must, put into motion and with added sound.

Animatics are useful to keep track of timing, placement, acting, etc, which you can't do very well with static images. They may contain placeholder images, stock photos, live-action acting frames, and even fully animated sequences that were previously done - whatever it's needed to help. Technically, some are animation. But they are, by definition, unfinished animation.

Examples:

Coco - "Un Poco Loco" finished animation vs animatic:

This is Pixar here and the animatic is scribbles. There is fluid, expressive animation there in order to communicate the livelihood of the sequence, but no more.

This wonderful thing:

Dan Harmon recorded a real court order discussion and drew the animatic on top of it, but he didn't intend to do a finished animation from this. Therefore, those are cleaned-up simple static drawings that still convey the absurdity of the video so it can be presented to the audience, like a sketch.

Mari Flexion's "Epiphany" , from the eponymous "fluff" extra from The Magnus Archives:

Like Harmon, Flexion never intended to fully animate this piece, but unlike Harmon - whose style is simpler and more cartoony - Flexion did this with time and in an elaborated style. There are moving parts and even simple animations in there, shadows and fully conveyed details like clothes and freckles. However, by the nature of being a sketch of an animation, it's an animatic.

ANIMATION: Once you have the storyboard and (if necessary) the animatic fully realized, the "animation" stage can start - this is the refining and production of what will become the final film. This stage is composed of many other stages that characterize how close to the final product something is. Stages will vary depending on the type of film you're doing, but Ill use some of my work to show some of the most common ones in 2D animation. (you'll notice that the timing changes from one place to another; that's because I'm only one person doing that on my pace and not a studio, and also I'm a gremlin)

Rough animation: The closest to animatic; some animatic can be considered rough animations:

Cleaned-up: Rough animation that has the final lineart/style that will be used in the end (sometimes static elements are already finished; animation can be weird)

Flat colors (or flats): Where the colors without effects/shadows/lights are added.

Final: With everything else (and here, because it's a video, it contains the music I timed everything on)

Originally posted here (final video) and here (work in progress gifs)

AND THEREIN THE ISSUES BEGIN

I've been observing in the last years that a lot of people are calling near-finalized, very-into-production animations "animatics". Not only fans are saying that, but sometimes artists themselves seem to consider stuff such as the following as animatics:

Shandzii's "It's tough to be a god" (original characters)

It could be argued this is a very elaborated animatic, but the amount of finished animation, detail and cleanness would put it at rough/almost clean-up animation.

@twinkle-art 's and @worldformula `s "The Magnus Archives - villain(빌런)"

This is a finished video, despite the lack of "animation" mostly.

SprectroliteAAA's "Death by Glamour - Mettaton vs. Frisk Fight"

This one has been bothering me for years now - it's a fantastic, almost fully realized rendition of this sequence, it's called "rough animation" in the opening, but it's called "animatic" on the title hhh

"But Branca," I can almost hear you say, "why does it matter?"

Well... it's not something that is urgent, or pressing, like I said before. AI- generated stuff and N/F/T/s are actual problems, but that's beside the point. Still, it's a trend that is becoming stronger, and the immediate issues I see are:

For artists: you'll look like a fool: No one is born knowing stuff, but that's inadequate vocabulary in artistic circles - especially in animation ones. If you call an animation "animatic" because it's digital, fanart, or a music video, it may sit wrong with people in the industry. You want to know which words mean what.

For art appreciators: it may sound derogatory: If someone posts their finalized film and you call it an animatic, it may rub the artist the wrong way. What if you wrote a whole fiction book and someone called it "your notes"? It's finalized work - call it for what it is.

For people who make/hire artwork: "But that's not what I/you asked for": The idea that animatics are "supposed" to get to more and more polished levels cause potential conflict between art professionals and costumers. The terms are laid out for clarity, and if "animatic" has a double meaning, people can be upset for getting "less" of what they wanted to get. Worse, calling animation/film "animatic" creates unrealistic market expectations. "Well X artist did that kind of animatic, can't you do that?" is a very hard situation to be in, as an artist. We may sell our work for crumbs just so we get the job, being exploited to do work we're not really supposed to due to a fiction.

For everyone: it can generate confusion and conflict: "Animatic" a term from the film industry. Some terms from some places may be redefined into something better or more appropriate, but this one creates miscommunication for the reasons mentioned about. Worse, it can create miscommunication between groups of people, particularly in fandom. Knowing the right words is the most conducive course of action.

Anyway, I hope this long ramble helped! Go spread the love for animatics and animations and videos all around!

[well-its-not-human-anymore]

So this is a personal one for me to ask and if you're not comfortable with it don't mind it; how would the tmnt boys (seperate) react when the reader confesses that they're autistic after the boys got curious when she had some peculiar, behavior or stims. The reader would be stressed, because she has a crush on the tmnt boy in question and she didn't want them to find her weird or just stop interacting with her. When she's met with confusion instead, because the boys never heard of it, cue this weird conversation where reader tells them to the best of her ability what it is and the boys just keep asking questions. Also some general headcannons with it maybe?

Okay so I'm actually really happy that you asked me this because I feel like ASD isn't portrayed a lot in any type of media. My ADD and ASD have a lot of overlap so I hope I can capture what you're asking of me!

Now let's get into it!

TMNT Headcanons

The boys reacting to an autistic reader

Leonardo

he wasn't really sure what was happening the first time you reacted

one minute you were standing next to him doing dishes and the next you were attempting to claw your skin off like an angry cat

Leo tried not to look annoyed as he watched you rub your hands against your shirt until your flesh started to turn red

you looked like you were crying but he knew you weren't

but your face was starting to turn purple and your cheeks were puffy from the effort of holding your breath

"Y/N? You need to breathe."

You shot a glare at him, scathing eyes meeting his now very concerned expression

your own softened and you clutched your arms to your chest, heaving oxygen into your lungs until your face became a normal shade again

"Are you okay?"

The words were stuck in your throat and you weren't sure if you should nod or shake your head

so you gave him a half-hearted shrug

he frowned back at you but turned to finish the dishes on his own

when he questioned you about it later he couldn't help but be curious

"Well actually it's uh- it's kinda a sensory type of thing? There are certain textures that I can't stand touching do I avoid them but if I come into contact by accident my brain just kinda explodes and I shut down."

"How exactly does that work though?"

"I don't really understand it much but like- you know that feeling you get when you think there's a bug on you and there's not but it really really feels like it?"

He nodded

"Yeah, it feels like that. And anytime I touch something that triggers that reaction it takes FOREVER to get the feeling off my skin. That's why I usually wear gloves when I do dishes. Guess I just forgot to grab 'em today."

He was sympathetic

and god, you were so embarrassed

lucky for you, Leo's not an asshole

"Well thank you for explaining it to me, you really freaked me out earlier. I'll talk to April and see if we can keep a pair or two at the lair just in case you forget again."

Consider your heart melted

you couldn't even find the words to thank him and holy shit was your face red

"Hey y/n?"

"Yeah Leo?"

"Why didn't you ever tell me- us that you were autistic?"

Did you rip the band aid off now or make something up? Which would ,technically speaking, be less catastrophic in the long run?

"I uh- I really like you and I really didn't want you or the other's to look at me differently..."

wow, you liked him? miss ma'am you have saved this boy a world of anxiety and damn does he thank you for it

"Thanks for telling me... and y/n? I really like you to."

Awh fuck yeah, best possible execution of band aid-ripping-off ever

Donatello

Donnie wished he could act surprised when you finally told him

he really wanted to, it would've made you feel better for sure

but he sucked at lying and he didn't want to make you feel like he thought you were an idiot

because that was so far from the truth

after going through extensive research on Mikey's behalf when he suspected he had ADHD Donnie had stumbled across many different websites that discussed the symptoms and overlaps between both disorders

to make a long story short, Donnie knew that you had ASD and he was waiting for you to tell him

it would probably come off as rude if he brought it up in conversation right?

he didn't want to risk it

but that didn't stop him from keeping an eye on you and your behaviors

he was a man of science, of course he was going to analyze you

not in a weird way or anything, just as a curious sort of precaution

but the longer you were involved in the turtle's lives the more noticeable your stims and meltdowns got, Donnie did his best to cover for you without making you suspicious of him

eventually he'd come up with something that he hoped would come across as a friendly gesture and wouldn't set you off or scare you away

it was game night at the lair and you, as always, were perched on the arm of the sofa, a large grin plastered on your face

inside your head was exploding but you were masking it pretty well if you do say so yourself

but Donnie was, well... donnie was donnie

so when he noticed you starting to rock a little more visibly he removed his attention from commentating the game and grabbed a pair of headphones from the side table

you were beyond confused when he passed them to you but your face revealed everything

"They're noise cancelling, try them on."

holy shit it was like putting your head underwater, everything was muffled

not in the way normal headphones did, you quite literally couldn't hear anything at all, just a calm amount of nothing

you nearly started crying when you realized that Donnie had figured you out on his own

but you'd never been more relieved about anything in your life

Raphael

he wouldn't admit that he was mesmerized by your presence

you practically radiated calm

his complete opposite

it was his favorite thing about you, because despite your quiet disposition and calming aura you weren't afraid to call him out or rebut any of his insults

this was not something you expected him to appreciate nor was it something you thought would make you catch feelings

but damn if you didn't

he'd been sitting in on yours and Donnie's little experiment for an hour or so now, watching you both exchange quiet whispers and inside jokes that you always seemed to lag on

then you slipped up

not bad, nothing detrimental to the project, just the same mistake that you'd already made ten times over

you might as well have exploded

"Y'N, you just have to move thi-"

"I KNOW DONATELLO. I FUCKING KNOW AND I JUST CAN'T DO THIS BULLSHIT!"

you set everything down gently enough to avoid breaking it before turning and storming out of the lab, waving your hands like they were on fire

Raph and Donnie exchanged a look that sent the larger red turtle following after you

when you calmed yourself down enough to talk you kept your gaze locked on the wall, explaining that you couldn't make eye contact when you were upset

he might not be the smartest brother, but Raph's no dummy, he put those pieces together pretty quickly after you told him that one small detail

he wasn't upset that you didn't tell him and you'd personally never been more relieved

your heart nearly splattered into the stratosphere when you finally gace him your own explanation

"yeah, I like ya too."

you grinned so wide you were sure your face would split open and your entire body rocked side to side with excitement

he thought that was pretty adorable too

And he did stick around to offer a bit of support when you apologized to Donnie for screaming at him

Michaelangelo

to be frank it probably shouldn't have taken so long for Mikey to realize that you were autistic

the similarities between your own personality and his ADHD were so in sight it was near painful

it was his turn to make dinner that night and you'd made sure that you came over early to help him set up, you knew how side-tracked he'd get and you were the poster child for solid routine

what more perfect matchup existed?

trick question, there isn't one

you were on one side of the counter cutting vegetables and he was on the other throwing said vegetables into the mixing pot

the music was at an ungodly level of loud so your only means of communication were screaming over it

"MIKEY."

"WHA?"

"YOU GOT THE-"

"YEAH."

"AND THE-"

"UH HUH."

"COOL, HAVE YOU SEEN THE-"

"TONGS? NO, THE SKEWERS. YEAH, THEY'RE IN THE OTHER DRAWER."

"THANKS."

the two of you went about your previous tasks, thinking nothing of the conversation that had just taken place

at least until you'd begun washing your knife and cutting board

that's when Casey walked in, looking both perturbed and annoyed at the same time

"Alright, which one of you knows telepathy?"

Mikey exchanged a glance with you and you returned it with a raised eyebrow

"The hell you mean brah?"

he looked at the both of you like you were the ones that had grown four extra heads before speaking again

"You literally just had a conversation with like five words and somehow just knew what the other meant? What's up with that?"

you glanced at Mikey again

"Holy shit, did we?"

"I mean, not really. You used your hands."

now all three of you were confused but it quickly became two when Casey shook his head in defeat and left the room

"You know I think he's right."

he blinked first and your staring contest ended

"But you used your hands-"

"I got autism Mikey, one does not simply not use their hands as forms of speech."

"You're-"

"Yep."

was the silence laughing at you? could it do that? it was kinda rude

"Huh, that actually makes sense, that's not mean is it?"

you shook your head no

"You're just me but fast."

Mikey agreed with that, pestered you with a few more questions, and went back about working, as did you, you saw no reason to address it further

but your cheeks burned red

"Yo- Y/N that actually explains why everyone else thinks we're a thing."

you didn't know if you could choke on air or not but you did it anyways

"Are we?"

he gave you his signature grin

"If we are then Raph owes April a hundred bucks."

you returned his smile

"Oh this oughta be good."

I'd like to preface this by apologizing for my near three week absence. Life got crazy and my writer's block hopped on a train, went through a school zone, killed seven pedestrians, and committed tax fraud before tumbling off a cliff never to be seen again.

But on the bright side- I got my SAT scores back and started some scholarship applications. Super happy with that. School's out in a few weeks so I'll be able to write more (hopefully).

Anyways, I hope I got this one down okay. I may have hyper analyzed the request so I might be a little off. But I really enjoyed doing this one and I hope you like it!

-Mars 🌠

[katsukikitten]

Warnings College AU sexual and adult themes. Yall know the drill okay

Chapter 2

Bugzapper⚡💔: i have a proposition to make. 

Jiro flashes Mina her phone as she sips iced coffee in the blessed air conditioning of the cafe.

"That's never a good sign." She comments, moon bright eyes glued to the phone as she thinks. 

"What's not a good sign?" Uraraka asks from across the table, the two girls fill her in. 

"Oh." She racks her brain on what that could be, "Okay well I'm dying to know, now." 

🎵Music to my soul 🎶 : What do you want airhead? 

Jiro's text sent a surge of excitement through Kaminari. It was exactly what he needed after three hours of begging and bribing Bakugou to allow the sorority in or at least invite them. His fingers fly across the screen setting up a date and time for a "meeting over lunch" to discuss the proposition in further detail.  

Meanwhile across campus, you huff, eyes narrowed as a rare emotion is pulled from your fingertips in the form of deadly ice. Pulling the moisture from the air to freeze it or pulling any water towards you to keep your flank safe as your opponent rushes you at breakneck speeds. 

You hated this fucking guy, cocky, brash, so God damn arrogant in the way he held himself, in the way he spoke. It made you nauseous just thinking of him.Had you known he was the male star of this university you wouldn't have transferred, yet you still needed to transfer didn't you? Anything to get out from under the shadow of a certain Todoroki. 

No one cared to admit or to notice, that your quirk was different from Shoto's. You could manipulate water towards you to freeze, and manipulate whatever was already frozen. Your ice was denser and more durable than his and dare you say it colder than his too. Yet no one gave a shit, his was ice AND fire. You were just a one trick pony and a trick they already saw. Your opponent's taunting doesn't help matters much.

"I've already seen this before Ice Brat. Did ya forget where I fucking went to high school?" His hand heats the ice as he activates his quirk before three deafening blasts ring out. 

As you allow him to break down the ice you act on pure rage, securing some revenge from the first time he signed your hair. Pointed icicles lie in wait and once the wall is fully down you give him a nasty smirk before sending the straight his way. 

You're supposed to melt your weapons before they hit your opponent, neither of you are supposed to go all out per the professor's and college's strict rules in the athletics department but Bakugou always does. Somehow his big stupid mouth spews something that eggs you on. As if someone were shoving bamboo skewers beneath your skin, under your nails, sending you into an unheard of rage. 

Normally you were as your quirk, icy, unbothered by the world but Bakugou, God you could wring his neck. Freeze his hot blood as you watch him turn into slush beneath your feet. 

He expects you to abide by the rules, to splash him with glacier water but he realizes it too late. That you won't he let's off a quick blast, shattering two of the four deadly points. One grazes his cheek as he just barely dodges while the other lodges itself into his arm. 

You have half a mind to twist it. You pull at his blood bringing it into your arsenal. Blood red needles and bullets surround Bakugou. 

"I don't think you've seen this before.." You say darkly ready to release your hold and shred him into, give him a taste of his own medicine. Maybe he would see how bitter and nauseating he was. He smirks, opening his mouth to retort but you send your ice his way aiming for non vital spots although the ice creeps closer to your heart begging it to hit something vital. The inside of your ice palace begins to reek of burning sugar and spice, he plans to let out an explosion to bring this whole place down from the inside out. 

Just as he is about to detonate and just as the blood and ice are about to pierce skin the professor bursts into the gym.  

"I step out for five minutes and this is what happens?!"

The ice and blood return to liquid splashing across Bakugou as his skin pops. The professor takes in the damage from your ice and his explosions, still better controlled than most of his other students quirks. 

"I gotta stop pairing these two together." He murmurs to himself before dismissing class. With a flick of your wrist the ice fortress melts, returning to the reservoir below the gym floor, ignoring the molten glare that is sent your way.

"You're such a bitch." Bakugou growls as you pass, flinging blood from his fingers as he wipes at his face. You offer him a fake pitying smile before heading into the women's locker room. 

"Fucking asshole." You hiss, forcing the sight of his garnet gaze out of your mind. Instead turning your attention to your buzzing phone in your locker. It's a few missed calls and some texts in the girl's group chat. Briefly you wonder if you ever should have joined that stupid sorority, it was small, non toxic, and would look good should you need to transfer again. 

Not only did you somehow get elected the president but you also became friends with the three other ladies despite your best efforts not too. 

Mins: Prez we might have a way to save the sorority...lunch after you're done with training? 

IceQueen ❄: Hope it's good, the Dean already put the house up for sale. Let me get ready and I'll be there shortly. 

Mina presents her phone to the crowd around her, Kirishima, Denki, Sero, Jiro and Uraraka do a small celebration. Denki more so than anyone else, he knows the combined car washes will be more than enough to fix up the house, he also recently learned that you had the power of negotiation on your side. Having just listened to Mina retell the story of how you got free food for a month from a bar for yourself and your friends. And not from some sleaze who wanted to sleep with you either, no it was from the owner himself. 

Denki is hopeful and so are the ladies indicating that this may be his best idea yet. 

You arrive at the small bistro early, spying your party on the front patio. The three men had seen you in person before, they knew you were easy on the eyes but up close you were breathtaking. Manicured nails but nothing gaudy, normally nude or soft shades, light makeup, mascara at most as far as they could tell and your outfit was well put together. You were what the world called plus size but everyone else called thiccc. Your confidence oozing in your light blouse tucked into your black skinny jeans, uncaring that you had a pouch. 

You needed that extra fat to keep from freezing by your own quirk. The only thing you needed society to worry about was your intelligence and your power. 

Both were SSR ranked so what did you fucking care that your body was ranked lower. They were stupid in thinking you'd skimp power in the name of vanity. 

You recognize everyone at the table and internalize the dread you're feeling. Scheming is afoot and you're the last to arrive. You can tell by their half finished drinks and picked over appetizer, still you sit and act unaware. Denki goes to hold out his hand first for a formal introduction causing a sly cat smile to settle over your glossy lips. 

"No need, I'm aware of who the three of you are. Sero we share our lingual class, Denki, our chemistry class, and Kirishima we share two classes, world studies and villain hero theory. Truly a pleasure." You tell then your name before ordering something to drink from the lingering waitress. Sitting stick straight with your shoulders backs has the men mirroring you. 

"Well ladies I take it the plan to save the sorority involves these fine gentlemen." You ask coolly and they nod. After a moment of silence Mina and Denki go to speak. Awkwardly encouraging the other to speak until Minai clears her throat. 

"As you know they are a newly formed frat with Sero as their president. They moved into their house about a month ago and they say it is quite large. So they have invited us to move in." 

"How do you propose we ask the college to have a co-ed house? What does this fraternity home even look like?" They knew you would be quick to ask questions Mina answers the first while Denki provides the answer to the second. 

"Union and Diversity. Forming close relationships now to carry over into our hero careers." 

"The house needs some work but looks a lot better than what it did." Denki shows you before and after pictures as you gesture for his phone. He passes you his electric yellow case with nervous hope tingling beneath his skin. You swipe through the photos. 

"You boys did a great job on the outside. Inside needs a lot of work. Hardwoods will be easy to fix, they are original but don't seen to be damaged, a good scrub will spruce them up. Wait, are those?" You zoom in on the photo of the living room, "Are those foldable camping chairs and a VHS tv?" 

They gulp loudly as they nod, your purse your lips in disapproval. 

"I can fix that." You pass Denki back his phone, assuming that all the roommates will be present, "I see the main focus was the kitchen but some of the appliances seem to be on their last legs. I can fix that as well." 

"Soooo….So it's a yes?" Jiro asks, feeling relief for the first time in months since they received the letter of eviction. 

"Gotta get the college to agree first." You think on it a moment, "But I'm sure we can arrange that. Uraraka can you draft an email to the Dean requesting an official meeting regarding our sorority? Be sure to explain in detail our situation, how we are being forced to disband by their account and the solution we have. Make sure it's an afternoon meeting too. The dean hates to miss golf with our rival university's dean." 

With the plan set in motion all of you return to your evening classes. Jiro nudges Denki in the ribs, listening to his heart race from their closeness. 

"When are we going to tell her about Bakugou?" She throws her almost lover a look that he seems to wither beneath. His jaw tics before he retorts. 

"I think we should wait to see if this even works first." 

After a week the important meeting arrives and as you thought the Dean is already exhibiting signs of impatience. He is more than ready to wrap this up and you already know his answer is going to be no. Already trying to get it out before the four of you can even have a seat. 

Still you weren't the Ice Queen on campus for nothing. You saunter into the room, mineola folder filled with your copies of counterpoints pressed firmly to your chest, you can already see he doesn't have the copies you sent him. You place the folder down and open it, leafing through the pages as you speak. 

"This request is going to be approved and here are the reasons why. An example of sexism could be made that a new fraternity was approved housing, new housing, after a decades old sorority was deemed "too small" both parties are similar in count. Second funding and donations are easily influenced with letters to alumni and especially by attendees to this university. My transfer from YAU has brought in revenue of roughly 2.6 million dollars, increasing your diversity for women when this is normally a male dominated school. I am aware that my transfer had even encouraged other students from YAU to transfer here. Which I'm sure is one of your favorite bragging points to tell Dean Fraunk during your weekly golf trips isn't it? So it would truly be a shame if these points would come to light in the investigation of my return to YUA just months before the university sports festival. I do look amazing in Ice Blue you know. Matches my quirk a lot better than Maroon." You put the ball in his court, he is visibly upset, eyes flying to the facts that you've presented. All important, viable facts. You were right MMU was known to be a male dominated school and the media would have a field day if they uncovered a mistake he happened to look over. Not to mention you were his main bragging point, Dean Yuzi always talked about how he had stolen you, the female star of rising heroes, from YUA.  The silence in the room is amplified by the ticking of the clock, seconds accumulating into minutes as it counts down his T time with his old college buddy and rival. He gulps nervously, knowing what he has to do in order to keep both his bragging rights and a law suit under wraps. He looks up to you as you wear your stone cold face, making him think of a loan shark who hasn't been getting their payments on time. He is fearful for your future boss.  

"I believe I have no choice but to approve." 

"Correct." You respond, "Now we have a bit more to discuss. I noticed that classrooms 456 and 215 are being remodeled. Those gently used flat screens will be given to our house since it is technically college property. Common space 3 and 1 are being renovated in dorms A and B. We will accept the leather arm chairs as they are in good shape but we demand a new couch. I know it is in the budget as I help plan the budget. I also believe it is time for an allowance for our hybrid house." The Dean shrinks away from your tenacity, nodding as that is all he can do.  

"Well this is a generous offer and should cover most of the basic necessities such as a new fridge and mattress. The aesthetic we will be raising funds for. Kindly spread the word, we don't want to take up more of your time and be late with your 'meeting' with Dean Fraunk." You place a flyer on his desk as you turn on your heel. The rest of the sorority, mouth agape following suit. Yuzi looks down at the flyer, head hung in a mixture of disbelief and shame as he reads over the neon paper advertising a co-ed car wash. 

He just hopes you and Bakugou are worth the trouble. 

[stardestroyer81]

Any longtime followers of my blog will know that posts centered around sprite art that I create are relatively commonplace, and how could they not be? I am an enthusiast of all things classic, and given that one of my very first posts on this blog was indeed a pair of custom sprites, I've really begun to focus on getting better and better at spriting, and I feel like it would be reasonable to say that the improvement is obvious! For those of you that don't know, my first piece of sprite art that I've uploaded here is this one in particular— custom sprites of Shovel Knight and King Knight that I had created back around February of 2020. I liked making the sprites a whole lot, and eventually decided that I would follow suit and make resprites of the remainder of the Order of No Quarter! Looking back on the sprites, they were indeed pretty sweet for their time, but now that I've been working on improving in terms of spriting, I was convinced that I could do a lot better with a few of the knights... some way more than others. So, around July of last year, I started to create a revised version of my Order of No Quarter resprites, going as far as to respriting some members entirely to better fit their actual designs, and almost a year later...

I finally have everyone completed!

My original plan for going about showcasing each individual knight was to have three versions of each knight's sprite: their original Shovel of Hope sprite, my first remake, and my more recent remake. While it would be a good visual on how far I've come, I felt like it would be a smidge redundant, so I've decided to show each knight's original Shovel of Hope sprite with my most recent remakes, linking to the first remake for each. With that out of the way, let's steel our shovels and dive right in!

Some followers may recognize this resprite of King Knight since I've actually shown it at the end of last year, on King of Cards' first anniversary! Between then and now, there weren't a whole lot of fixes made to King Knight's resprite save for a few shading touchups here or there, but I'm still really proud of this sprite in particular simply because of how better his cape looks compared to how I sprited it in 2020!

Now we're getting to the good stuff! My initial resprite of Specter Knight was a bit all over the place— I found his hood particularly hard to recreate (Plus I wasn't too fond of it at the time, I much preferred how it looks in his campaign's artwork) so I just ended up designing his hood after how it looks in Specter of Torment, which resulted in a serious mismatch in style. Specter Knight was definitely one of the harder knights to revisit, as I was a little nervous that I wouldn't be able to get his hood to look right, but I'm more than happy with what I ended up with— even his scythe looks better!

My biggest goal when remaking Plague Knight's sprite was to pretty much redo their entire head to better fit their artwork, and while I did achieve this to a certain point in my first attempt, my second iteration of Plague Knight was more focused on fixing their hood and making their pose less static (Compared to my first version of the sprite, that is). I remember having a bit of trouble remaking Plague Knight's mask in a way to where it wouldn't be too big, but I do love the fruits of my labor!

Mole Knight is one of the few members of the Order of No Quarter that has more than two resprite iterations; with this most recent version, he has had three; the original resprite, one that fixed a few things, and the one you see above. This new version has a lot of shading fixes, as well as redrawn claws; he's certainly a whole lot shinier! Speaking of knights that had more than two resprite iterations...

Treasure Knight, too, had three resprite iterations, one of them I didn't even post to my blog. It was essentially just the previous resprite but with a redrawn head and shoulderpads, looking a whole lot closer to his Shovel of Hope sprite while being way shorter than my first version. It was just about the final version of my resprite of him, but I ended up redrawing his head again so it would look closer to how it looks in Shovel of Hope's artwork. It took a tiny bit getting used to but I'm particularly proud of Treasure Knight's resprite!

I think Tinker Knight's resprite is the one I'm the most proud of. Not only is it an immense improvement over my original resprite, but I was able to make him look closer to his actual design as well as packing in a WHOLE lot more detail— and he's only a few pixels taller than his OG sprite! You can probably imagine that it took a long while to achieve that level of detail and not have the end result be too big!

Something that always kind of off-put me was how little Propeller Knight looks in his original sprite when he's flying. I think it's unanimously agreed upon by the SK community that he's quite tall, so when I resprited him for the first time, I opted to fix that... and made him a little too tall. As a result, Propeller Knight was redrawn entirely while making sure the height wasn't as ridiculously lanky as my first attempt all while maintaining a fair level of detail and color fixes, and if I may, the end result is, as Propeller himself might say, magnifique!

And finally, Polar Knight. Really, since my first resprite of him, not a whole lot has changed save for a few color fixes and additional details. Since there isn't really a whole lot of official art of Polar Knight that doesn't depict him in a bizarre pose, I couldn't really take any pose liberties and ended up sticking with the original posture; it might look like a bigger version of Polar's SoH sprite, and while it technically is, there's still a great deal of small changes throughout! After all this time, it feels nice to finally be able to upload these new iterations of previous sprite recreations, and while this post was a long time coming, I hope you enjoyed the sprites and the readups for each one because a LOT of effort was put into every pixel of this!

[kiwikyuu]

━━━━━━━━ all the different shades of orange ; hinata shōyō

summary — whoever said that hinata shōyō is a ball of sunshine is a liar

word count — 3k

genre — imagine ; kinda enemies to lover, fluff

warning(s) — major spoilers about spring interhigh for those of you who haven't read the manga, insults thrown around, kinda out of character hinata, cursing, not edited

a/n — okay but have y'all seen e2l hinata shōyō besides kagehina lmao because i haven't and thought it'd be interesting to try out. also wow i have never put so much effort into a work like this one (hopefully it reaches a lot of people and you can all find some joy in reading!)

❝ WATCH WHERE YOU'RE FUCKING GOING NEXT TIME, YOU ROTTEN BELL PEPPER. ❞

Hate was a strong word but the flaring anger in your heart and overwhelming urge to run into a wall whenever your eyes landed on that tangerine said otherwise. It wasn't that you went out of your way to dislike someone that has everyone wrapped around their finger. It just so happened that you had no tolerance for bullshit, and Hinata Shōyō pissed you off in every way possible.

It started on the first day of high school.

Walking beside Minari, a friend from middle school, the two of you were eager to leave the building. The idea of grabbing steamed buns had unraveled itself in your mind, and what better way to enjoy food than by sharing?

"Are you going to try out for any clubs?" Your elbow bumped against hers as you two walked the slowly emptying hallway. "I think I saw the girls soccer team holding tryouts soon."

Minari shrugged, but you could already see the thoughts pinging in her mind. "I might if I can."

See, the two of you had almost reached the staircase when it happened. Minari's long hair covered her view from time to time, so you were used to looking out for her while chastising the girl about the usefulness of a hairband. But what you didn't expect as you pulled the girl aside just as a gaggle of guys rushed by was the full strength of a short orange-haired boy catching you off guard and nearly sending you tumbling down the flight of stairs.

"I'm sorry! I - I didn't see you there!" He shouted, his hand coming out to latch instinctively onto your school uniform before you could be thrown back far. "And on the first day too... I'm so sorry! Please accept my apology."

You stared at the short boy standing before you looking positively green with anxiety and guilt. Minari was already calming him down with mentions of accepting his apology, but all you could focus on was the pounding beat of your heart and the tingling feeling in your legs from your near-fatal experience.

"Watch where you're fucking going next time, you rotten bell pepper," you muttered before pushing his fingers off your now wrinkled white shirt.

You had walked away first, Minari in tow, but not before catching the shine of his name tag, 'Hinata Shōyō,' and the wide-eyed stare on his face that sent shivers down your back.

From that day forward, every flash of orange around the school seemed to be followed by a glare on your end and a roll of eyes on his.

"You're in the way, pumpkin head." Your words cut through the chattering hallway and sliced at Hinata who in turn threw you a pointed look, something that all the First Year students knew by now was reserved for only you. "I'm trying to get to the library, but somebody's walking too slow. Aren't you supposed to be on the volleyball team?"

Hinata scoffed, but stepped aside to let you through. Dirty looks were all he had in his armory apparently as time after time after sending an insult or two his way, he held his tongue. You liked to think it was because he didn't have the proper brain cells to form a response, but sometimes you wondered if you were being too much.

Up ahead, Minari waved at you to hurry before all the seats at the library were taken. Shaking yourself of your thoughts, you walked over to her. Unbeknownst to you, while you shouldered your bag, your wallet tipped over and fell out at a certain somebody's feet.

Hinata picked up your ratty wallet, noticing it on the floor, and went to call out to you before catching himself. What did he care? Still, unable to ignore it, he pocketed your belonging making note to give it back to you later. Right now, he had a game to worry about.

Somehow you had ended up at the Karasuno vs. Aoba Johsai game during the Interhigh Preliminaries. Minari had dragged you up to the stands as discreetly as possible after convincing you that she wasn't feeling up to study. Considering she had her eyes set on a certain 5'10 blueberry, you were foolish enough to think that she'd wanted to take you some place fun.

Now as the two of you stared down at the game happening eagerly, you let out a sigh upon noticing Hinata. As if your day couldn't have gotten worse after misplacing your wallet, you were displeased to find that he was looking right back up at you with the same wide-eyed stare he had when you two had first met.

Shivers ran down your back almost as if on cue, and you tore your gaze away from him fully ready to leave the gymnasium and trudge back home. But had you turned away, you would have missed the freakish oddball combination execute their quick attack.

"Holy shit," you breathed. "What the fuck was that?"

Minari smirked. "Tobio-kun is a great setter, isn't he? Or were you too focused on Mr. Bell Pepper to notice."

You shot her a frosty look, pushing down the stuttering emotion starting to rise in your chest that most definitely did not feel like anger. "As if."

The game continued for what seemed like days but turned out to be hours at most ending at a score of 1:2 in Aoba Johsai's favor.

Deafening silence overtook your ears. Minari was quick to leave the stands, mumbling something about consoling the fallen setter while your eyes searched for some semblance of sunshine in Hinata's sullen ones.

Spotting his sunken expression, you felt yourself regret the hatred that had sparked for him for just a moment. A fleeting moment that buried itself in your heart, planting a seedling of growing doubt.

"Minari, we have to catch the bus back!" You called out to your friend as you joined her on the gymnasium floor.

She glanced your way, halting the conversation she had began with her Tobio-kun. "Two minutes, and then we can go. Please?"

You nodded despite feeling discomfort crawling up your spine at being surrounded now by those you didn't know. You settled by the door, checking your phone mindlessly to pass the short time only looking up when an outstretched hand came into view.

"You dropped this earlier." Hinata's words were short, sharp, and you were suddenly glad you had never been on the end of his scathing remarks. "On your way to the library," he continued.

"Oh," was all your malfunctioning mind could come up with as he took your open hand in his, placing your wallet gently in your palm. The warmth of his skin seemed pressed into your own even after he had started to stalk away.

Clearing your throat, you spoke before you could stop yourself. "You did well today. I - uh," you paused. What were you even saying? "I watched from the stands."

He offered you a soft smile, one that you realized could light the world aflame, before walking back to his awaiting team.

You placed your hand over your drumming heart, sedating the flustered feeling he had left behind with you, chanting in your mind over and over again that Hinata Shōyō was a menace and you had no plan to ever like him let alone fall for him.

But no one ever plans to fall in love.

The Karasuno Boys Volleyball Club seemed to practice non-stop funnily enough, rather motivated by their loss from months ago instead of despaired. Minari had become a regular face during practice as she cheered the boys on in an attempt to woo Kageyama still, and by fault, so had you.

"Y/N, Tangerine's on his way over here." Minari nudged you, stealing your attention from the workbook open in your lap.

You shrugged, trying to focus on anything other than your slowly rising heartbeat. "Why? Did the coach bench him for his subpar plays?"

"No, actually Tangerine wanted to give you something but he's currently reconsidering."

You looked up immediately, eyes narrowing upon noticing Hinata standing in front of you with a small smirk. "You're looking really fucking smug for a guy who still needs to work on his skills. Kageyama says you lack basic technique."

Hinata rolled his eyes at you. "You're being rude."

"It's because I don't like you," you answered smoothly. "So get back to practice before you lose any more volleyball brain cells."

He let out a small laugh. Turning away, for a moment you thought he'd actually leave as simple as that, but just before he took another step, he tossed something your way. It fell on top of your workbook, smacking against the thin pages, causing a couple of the boys to look your way while Hinata jogged back to the net.

Minari leaned in closer to you. "He got you—" She cocked her head in confusion. "A wallet?"

It was a deep shade of orange that almost made you laugh out in irony. Detailed with card slots and a latch with snapping buttons, the wallet was definitely an improvement from the one you had right now.

"That's sweet... right?" Minari questioned, watching your expression as you opened the wallet to reveal a note — scratchy handwriting on a scrap of notebook paper.

'thought your wallet looked ratty old. not in a mean way of course!!!!

— your favorite, Pumpkin Head Shōyō

ps. my sister picked out the color :p'

"Stupid fucking carrot," you whispered under your breath, feeling your cheeks grow warm at his message. "I don't need a new wallet."

Minari scoffed at your words, turning to face you completely and taking your hands in hers with seriousness. "Be honest with me." You stared at her blankly. "Be honest, and tell me if you actually hate Hinata as much as you say you do. Why don't you just drop the act? You two obviously like each other enough to be friends, so why keep this all up? Isn't it tiring?"

Her words echoed through the hallways of your mind minutes, hours, and days after. Sitting at your desk in school, on your walk home, lying in bed staring up at the ceiling, they were as loud as life itself.

You thumbed the straps of your bag while waiting for the bus. The sun was slowly dropping from the sky, setting on the horizon leaving you in a thoughtful orange haze.

You two obviously like each other enough to be friends, so why keep this all up? Isn't it tiring?

The weeks following were conflicting and chaotic. Exam season settled on Karasuno High School jolting the students and staff into a cloud of stress.

You spent your spare time at the library, eyes boring into material that just wouldn't stick while a certain rotten bell pepper took his seat next to you.

"I have to pass my finals or Sugawara senpai is going to nail me to a wall," Hinata explained, spreading his notebooks out on the desk and bumping his elbow against yours in the process. "You do well in your classes, right? Do you — " He looked abash. "D - Do you mind helping me?"

Against your better judgement, you nodded. Looking back now, you suppose that's where your odd friendship began.

Days on end, the two of you would stay behind to cycle through the material slowly building a tolerance of each other much to everyone's surprise.

"Do you still hate me?" The question came one night, the weekend before his exams.

Hinata looked at you from where he sat on the swings, kicking his feet at the sandy grounds. The two of you were at the park, cooling off after a long study session.

Your eyes fell to the can of convenience store coffee in your hands. The slight of the passing breeze drilled his question further in your mind.

"No, I don't think so," came your answer, words wobbly and unsure despite the thrum of your heart beating loudly against your chest and the warmth in your cheeks.

Silence filled the space between you two before Hinata finally spoke up again.

"Then do you like me?"

Your body felt lit aflame, mind jumping immediately to the way he made you feel things you hadn't much before. "As a friend," you decided after a moment of flustered emotions. "We're friends, I guess."

Hinata nodded thoughtfully. "Well, I like you." He took a deep breath. "As more than a friend, but if you feel that way then I'll wait for you. We have time."

His confession became lost among the flurry of thoughts and colliding emotions raging on inside you. Before you could say anything in response, Hinata got to his feet, shooting you that now familiar smile of his and offering you his hand.

The new year overwhelmed your senses like a storm of rain after a drought. Refreshed after the break, you returned to school with a new sense of purpose amplified by the motivation the new year always brings.

Hinata's confession had remained in your mind, pushed to the back by celebration but still bugging you every so often. The apricot haired boy had showed up, throwing ping pong balls (of all things) at your window to catch your attention over the break asking if you wanted to go grab something sweet with him. You promptly responded with a rejection, only to find yourself walking with him ten minutes later.

"How was your break?" Minari asked, bundled in a jacket, scarf, and hat. She joined you at your side, catching you on your walk from the bus stop to school.

You shrugged, pulling your puffy jacket closer to you. "It was okay. You?"

She smiled. "Hung out with Tobio-kun. We went for hot chocolate, and he taught me how to set." Her eyes seemed almost dazzling at the memory, and you laughed, pushing her lightly away.

"You and your Tobio-kun are positively gross," you said. "Absolutely—"

Your words were halted at the feeling of warm fabric settling around your neck and a known face popping up beside you with a proud smile.

"Stay warm. You can give it back to me later," Hinata said before jogging away to catch up with a pair of Second Year boys ahead.

Your hand came up to the green scarf around your neck, failing to form comprehensive sentences. Heart thundering, you ignored the funny looks others sent your way. Glancing at Minari, you caught her slipping giggles.

"What happened to Hinata Shōyō being a rotten bell pepper?"

"Shut up."

Lending you his scarf when days seemed too cold was just the beginning of it all. Days turned into weeks turned into months of Hinata pining after you and you—though obvious to everyone else—trying to decipher your feelings for him.

"Hey, I missed you," Hinata said to you lightly after you had agreed to drop something off for Kageyama on Minari's behalf. Quickly realizing the meaning of his words, however, Hinata corrected himself. "I mean—um, as in I m - missed you earlier. Like... like I didn't catch you today, you know?"

You tilted your head at him with endearment, a small smile playing across your lips at the sight of his blushing face. "Yeah, don't worry. I got it, sweet potato."

His flustered expression dropped. "You think I'm sweet?"

Your eyes widened, stuttering to form a response and correct yourself out of this situation you had suddenly been thrusted in. Luckily, Kageyama came to your rescue before you could embarrass yourself.

"Hinata, boke, stop flirting with Y/N!" The tall blueberry haired boy towered over Hinata with a menacing glare and a scoff. Kageyama turned to you with a blank look you took for an apologetic expression.

Shaking your head profusely, you put your hands up in surrender. "Ah, no worries, Kageyama. I—uh, I have something for you from Minari. She has classroom duties today, so she couldn't come herself."

Kageyama nodded, taking the wrapped bento box that Minari had prepared for him from your outstretched hands. He mumbled words of thanks before stalking off while muttering under his breath a colorful range of insults at Hinata who in turn sent him a funny face.

The Spring Interhigh was coming up, and you were sure the Karasuno Boys Volleyball Club was itching for redemption after what had happened last August. Deciding that you didn't want to interrupt their practice any further, you made move to leave only to stop at the feeling of a hand on your wrist.

Glancing back, you raised an eyebrow in surprise at Hinata's sudden action. "What are you—"

The tangerine boy had exchanged his lighthearted expression of just minutes ago with a look that you could only describe as properly motivated. "When we make it to Nationals, promise to give me a chance."

All around you, the gym seemed to fade until only Hinata was in your line of vision.

When we make it to Nationals, he had said, not if.

Unable to respond, you found yourself nodding because who were you to kid yourself at this point?

The Karasuno Boys Volleyball Club did, in fact, make it to Nationals, but unfortunately lost to Kamomedai High School in the quarter-final round while Hinata spent his time at the hospital.

Hooked up to an IV line and dressed in one of those flimsy hospital gowns, Hinata looked unusually weak laying down on the bed. The others had left not long after you had arrived though some took more convincing than others.

"Next time, you can keep your scarf to yourself," you said, cutting the silence short with a lighthearted remark.

Hinata smiled weakly at that, his hand coming to rest atop your folded ones on your lap. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

You shook your head. "Obviously, you can't take care of yourself." Slipping your hands from under his, you took the hand warmers out of your pockets and placed one in each of his hands. "Luckily, you got me."

His face lit up. "Oh, do I now?"

Warmth spread through your body as you looked away from his hopeful gaze. "Well, you did make it to Nationals."

[george5259999]

Week 5 - Sketching

This weeks activity was definitely the hardest for me mentally. The previous weeks of content were quite technique based, in the sense that once you learn the rules, the results are straightforward to replicate and ideate upon. This week's content was much more skills based than it was techniques based, and that lead to a lot of frustration and challenges - mainly around the fact that my drawing skills weren't as developed, making it harder to replicate my ideas how I initially saw them in my head.

The warmup exercises were a great start to the tutorial, they definitely brought the skillset of hand drawing into focus; immediately making me realise how reliant I was upon the tools in the previous classes. I felt like the exercises definitely increased in skills and difficulty. The lines exercises (Image 1, 2) made me realise how important grip, posture and positioning is when drawing. I played around with the speed and control of the pen, and I noticed that holding the pen further down the barrel helped reduced my shaky motions.

Along with the other exercises, the ones I enjoyed the most were the contour lines (Image 5), and the circles and ellipses (Images 3, 4). The circles exercise was really difficult, and at times I found it very frustrating when the circle would look more like an ellipse, but I think it was the most rewarding as I forced myself to complete the page. Sometimes I find that completing something is more important than refining it. As someone who can be overly critical of my own work, completing a task where the result may not be perfect is a great way to improve. The circles in perspective exercise was also difficult for the same reasons. The contour lines exercise was definitely my favourite (Image 5), because it really taught me to visualise forms on a 2D page. I think I gained the most from this exercise because it amalgamated all of the skills from line confidence, ellipses and circles into one.

Moving on from the warmup exercises, the task for this week was to redesign an Olay Moisturiser bottle. I found myself trying to consider the brand identity and constraints, as I think they are a great way to come up with inspiration. Doing some research on the Olay line, their bottles have very simplistic and curved form without many extrusions and harsh edges. When undertaking the first task (Image 6), I wanted to focus on the overall silhouette of the bottles, rather than supplying detail for each concept. This exercise allowed me to quickly iterate on ideas, and gave me immediate reactions to what I liked and disliked as I put pen to paper. There were times I drew the first line of the bottle and knew I wasn't going to like it (for example, bottom left). Not devoting too much time, and overthinking allowed me to produce bottles which I thought had a lot of potential for the next stage.

When it came to add shading to the bottles, I started to experience some issues. Having never worked with alcohol markers before, I bought a couple of Copic markers in two shades of grey (C4, C5) to try and do some shading. I quickly learned that I should have purchased some lighter shades of grey as well, as they can be layered to increase the richness of value. I found that I wasn't moving the markers across the page fast enough, and it caused some ugly bleeding, so I smoothed over the marker with some graphite pencils which were more familiar and easier to control. Eventually, I would like to not rely on pencil for correcting my mistakes, especially if I decide to buy coloured Copics in the future. My corrective efforts are definitely a bi-product of being a beginner, but it was a great lesson to learn early on.

The second exercise started off very similar to week four's content. Drawing the boundary box template using the perspective techniques worked well. When transferring the boxes to other paper, I used thin mechanical pencil to lightly place them on the page. When drawing the three forms I liked from task 1, I found that the construction of the form was relatively ok during the straight line sections. When constructing circles and ellipses, I found that I was still too shaky and lacked control, so I drew them with the mechanical pencil, and then went over them with pen. When adding marker to these concepts, I once again found that I was not happy with the results. Unfortunately, because marker is rather permanent, my mistakes were immortalised on the page. I don't regret using the Copic markers, because I know that I will develop control with practise.

I wasn't completely happy with these three concepts (Image 7), so I wanted to create a final concept which was more visually interesting. I think I set my constraints too early, and should have allowed myself to make anything that came to mind - so I could rein them in when it cam time to develop them into final drawings. With this concept I went back to sketching without considering the proper dimensions. I made annotations on what was good, and more importantly, what I didn't like (Image 8).

When it finally came time to finishing the activity, I placed dots on the corner in thin mechanical pencil so I could remove them later. I liked this technique because it still gave me guidelines to work from, but kept the page clean and legible. I focused more on the detail and creating interesting forms on the bottle, and used these guidelines to create curved shapes and lines which tapered and chamfered the bottle, which I tried to highlight with the markers (Image 9). Overall, I wasn't entirely happy with the final product (Image 10), but I could definitely see my improvement with the markers from my first and second attempts.

Confidence is definitely something I lack when drawing, particularly with ellipses and circles; and it is something that can only be developed with practise and time. If I were to redo this activity, I would really focus on the circular forms and improving them, as well as practising with the markers more before using them in my linework. Using the YouTube Channels from the Pre-Class activities, I want to keep developing these skills and create my own style. It really is the skill I look most forward to developing for concepting as an Engineer and as a Designer.

[thewolfmanslayer]

Honestly the amount of people who say artists and writers should do stuff for free, or try to rip them off on comissions still royally piss me off.

I think the worst part of it is the entitlement, I dont want to make this too much about generations but a lot of commissioners are millenial/Gen z's who grew up on the "steal and pirate everything" mentality, take everything that you can because no one else is going to hand it to you. which I can get behind, when you are screwing over MULTI BILLION DOLLAR COMPANIES. NOT THE STRUGGLING ARTISTS AND WRITERS who are trying to keep food on the table as desperately as you probably are!

It's simple, you wouldn't walk into a restaurant, order food and tell the server "sorry I don't have any money, but I've got like a few thousand followers on social media, I can get your name out there, get the restaurant some exposure" NO! They don't need "exposure" they need you to pay the damn bill!

On top of that, most of these artists and writers ALREADY HAVE FOLLOWINGS. They already have thousands of people following them, waiting for the chance to get a commission, who are willing to pay for said commission, they don't need "exposure" when they're already out there! He'll even the artists and writers with a few hundred don't need it, they'll get more followers as time goes by, their skill alone will see to it.

And what is with people trying to get free art and writing? It's not going to work! You can't harass someone until they cave, trust me, you'll be long since blocked before you even have the opportunity. I don't do comissions, online anyways, but my own friends and family, people who actually know me STILL PAY ME whenever they ask for me to do art for them because they KNOW it takes TIME AND EFFORT.

How many times do we need to have this discussion???? Like when is it going to finally click that people who need to pay their bills just as much as you do AREN'T going to do this shit for free!?

Here's the thing about art and writing, that you've heard a billion times but still aren't getting; IT. TAKES. TIME. AND. EFFORT. TO. GET. DONE. the art isn't going to magically appear and the writing isn't going to suddenly write itself, if either were so convenient YOU WOULDNT BE ASKING AN ARTIST OR WRITER IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Look at that, you see that? The first picture I did back in 2012-13, the picture beside it? I did that TWO YEARS AGO. I didn't suddenly know exactly what to do, or had anything close to a god given talent for drawing (I'm not that talented). The first picture WAS THE ABSOLUTE BEST I COULD DO AT THE TIME THAT I MADE IT. In the time between these two drawings I admittedly took a break from art, but then I got back into it four years ago. EVEN STILL that was four YEARS of starting over from the basics, relearning everything, learning new things, wanting to actually improve my art.

Which, guess what, DID NOT HAPPEN OVER NIGHT. It was HOURS UPON HOURS of my limited free time as an adult drawing over and over and over and over again, every single goddamn day to get to the point that I was able to make that redraw look as good as it does in comparison. He'll, my art now puts them both to shame! Because I spent the time improving my quality!!

Now look at these artists doing comissions, they've probably put EVEN MORE of their time to get that good! They've put in LITERAL YEARS of sweat, blood, tears, frustrations and dedicated hardwork. Some did the same as me, self teaching and lots of practice, others probably had to go to school, which definitely wasn't cheap. But all of us put in that time and effort TO REACH THESE POINTS. Of being better artists, developing our styles, getting faster at drawing.

And maybe you think that this is super easy, right? That I or every other artist can just fire some art off and boom its good and done in like an hour?

FUCK. NO.

Even now it takes me several hours a day OVER MANY DAYS to make something exceptionally good! It doesn't matter how good an artist is, it still. Takes. Time.

Maybe the issue is that you don't understand how much actually goes into art, let me break it down for you, the steps that most people follow to finish ONE drawing.

-Rough draft: general character outline, get a feel for what I want to draw.

-Rough sketch: I start doing a bit of pencil to start filling in details like mouth, nose, eyes, hair, clothes. Ect.

-Penciling: I go over the rough sketch and clean everything up, maybe do some editing, this is when you can start making out all the details.

-Ink: I trace over the finished pencil with a pen tool and actually have the line art, everything looks clean, presentable, it actually looks like a character now. I'll spend time editing this and possibly redoing the inking many times over to get to a point where I like it.

-Flat color: I decide on which colors to use for skin tone, clothes accessories. Ect.

-Shading/highlights: I figure out where my light source is and how strong it is, I then apply the correct amount of lighting and shadows to the color to give it depth, I also have determine the texture of skin, clothes and accessories to make everything look real and natural.

-Blending: I smooth out the shading and highlights so that it looks more natural and isn't too hard (noticeable difference between color) so that it looks as natural as possible.

-Finish: I go over last minute details, finish any editing or corrections that need to be done. Once it's good I call it a day.

Each process is longer in length then the previous, with the exception of the final editing (as long as everything looks good) and even the rough draft can take some time. Over all this is SEVERAL HOURS of work for a SINGLE DRAWING.

So is it sinking in yet? How much is put into doing even a single character drawing? God forbid if its done with background. This isn't a "scratch a pen around and be done with it in ten minutes" kinda deal, no, this is SEVERAL HOURS OF SOMEONES LIFE BEING PUT INTO THIS

And if you still have the AUDACITY to try and wrangle free art from an artist then there's no helping you, you're just a selfish piece of shit, no question and I want nothing to do with you.

Someone might say "But I got free art/writing from.-" look I don't give a shit if someone did something for you THAT ONE TIME, these other artists and writers? Totally seperate and different people. You're one freebie experience does not, and should not apply to other artists and writers.

"But what if I really want this commission but don't have the money right now?" Well, that's tough shit. Save up and properly commission them when you can, it's not their problem.

"But what if I'm in a really bad financial situation and really want it?" That sucks, and I'm sorry, but again, not their problem. Chances are this is their only source of income and they need to make money so that they don't end up in a similar situation.

"They have a gift! They should share it!" What kind of cheap ass- LOOK, just because someone is talented or really good at something does not automatically obligate them to do anything for total strangers in anyway shape or form. These are living, breathing people, the same as you. They need to eat, they need to pay rent/mortgages, they need to pay vet bills, send their kids to college, do their taxes and everything else that YOU YOURSELF need to do. Asking anyone to spend their time doing something for free, when that something is how THEY ARE SURVIVING is beyond asinine. Not only that, this obviously isn't a hobby to them, it is very clearly THEIR JOB. Would you want to do a job where you didn't get paid at all? Doing a shit ton of work for absolutely nothing? No? Didn't think so.

"It shouldn't be about the money!" Well unfortunately, as with almost every other job, it is. We live in a world where we desperately need to make money in order to survive. That's the painful fact of the matter. If money never had to be an issue ever again then this would be a very different story. But it's not, plain and simple as can be.

Look, these people are just like you, artists and writers who are just trying to get by in a shitty ass world, using the one thing they have that let's them have an income. Leave them be, don't try and trick them, guilt them, or cuss them out when you don't get your way. Either properly comission or leave them the hell alone, plain and simple.

[mothdrawzzz]

Before reading this, think about how you would answer this question "is digital art real art?"

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What is digital art?

Digital art is an art form or that uses digital technology instead of traditional mediums.

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Why is digital art important?

The future is digital, and with that art is changing to meet that.

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Pros of digital art!

- it is much easier to keep all your art in one place

- it's easier to share your art

- it is usually cheaper, all you need is a device! so no need to keep on buying art supplies.

- no need to erase your mistakes, thanks to the undo button

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Cons of digital art

- the chance of losing your art. programs can crash, devices could break, memory could get lost, etc

- no physical copy

- having to learn the programs you use

- your art can get stolen easily

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Pros of traditional art

- unique pieces

- more hands on experience ------------------------------------------------------------

Cons of traditional art

- more of a mess

- harder to fix mistakes (this could be both pro or con depending on how you look at it.)

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In the survey I asked if they believed if digital art was real art and they all said yes, this question was very important for me to ask because there is a negative out look on digital art.

I also asked why they believed that and here are some of the responses I got

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"In digital art you are still taking the time to make something. You're making lines, choosing colors, blending things, etc"

I was glad to see this response, when I was researching I saw that one of the main reasons they didn't see digital art as real art was because it was "cheating" and that it was less work than traditional. which I honestly don't believe, your still putting in time and effort into what your making. and I know that for a lot of digital artists it can take hours to finish a piece especially if it has a lot of detail.

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"I feel like digital art is real because it doesn't matter how art is made. If people think "real" art requires experience and skill (like painting, sculpting, etc.), digital art requires the same amount, and I feel that if you make art on a computer, tablet, phone, or whatever you use to make digital art, you're using as much skill as you would be drawing or painting something on paper. Even though digital art provides a smoother experience as opposed to art on paper, both have their upsides and downsides. While I feel like digital art can feel artificial, that's because I haven't gone into the area enough to be comfortable drawing in it. But this is definitely not the same for everyone, and I believe people are more comfortable, natural, and skilled with digital art than "real" art, which is why I believe digital art IS real art, because the artists behind those digital works have the same skill and comfort as the artists doing it on paper."

This was my favorite response I got and I think it explains itself

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"You can do the same things as traditional art with digital art and sometimes better. Same thing vice versa."

Yes! I agree, with different type of brushes and stuff you can do within programs you can almost do anything. yes it may look a bit artificial but I have seen artist make digital pieces that looked like traditional ones.

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"Art can be expressed in any shape or form. Doesn't matter how you use it, what matters is using your imagination and creating something."

What I personally believe that if you intend something to be art and it comes from your imagination and you're creating it then it's art

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I then asked which was more important to them and these were the results.

I asked this because I was genuinely curious with they would pick, these results were no surprise to me I kind of figured that traditional art was going to win but I was happy to see that digital art was only a little under half. With me asking this question I also asked why they choose what they did and here are some of their responses .

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"It's something that of course has been here for a long long time. It's something I am so accustomed to already."

I like this response because another reason that kept coming up when talking with others about this topic was that the reason people didn't like digital art is because it was newer, not around as long and that it intimidated people. My art instructor said that it was a generation thing and that older generations didn't understand it.

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"I feel like digital art has a lot of potential and can be changed any time, at ease too. I think digital art and traditional art are equally important, as both have their pros and cons, but I feel like I've had a better experience being exposed to more kinds of digital art over traditional, but that's not to belittle the power of traditional art, where you get a better sensation of life to something that's physically drawn opposed to digitally drawn. But digital art is more important to me mainly because of the experiences I've had with so far. I'm honestly thinking both are as good, but I'm choosing digital on this one."

I really like how they explained how both were important! in my opinion I see them as equal but I agree the experience thing.

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Which is important to me? tough question but I'd say digital!

Digital art taught me more and let me grow more as an artist. I didn't have anyone to help when I first started out so I had to learn it all on my own, however with traditional art, most of my friends were artist and we're able to give me tips. so my digital art journey is more significant to me than traditional art. but I'll never forget were I started.

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Here are some other questions I asked and the results.

These results were the most surprising, first I'm surprised no one said harder because I thought that some of the people who don't really do digital art regularly would think it was harder. What surprised me the most however was the fact that 80% said they were the same because I didn't even think anyone would put that and it was almost not even going to be an option. I personally think both are hard but I'd say traditional is harder because I typically sketch things out traditionally and then turn them digitally so all my planning is done in the traditional stage.

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I also asked which they thought took more time. I kept seeing while researching that people were saying digital art took less time, which I don't necessarily believe but I want to see what others thought.

I wasn't surprised with the outcome, it typically takes less time for me to complete a digital piece then a traditional one, so I thought it would be generally the same for others. Not to say that it doesn't take long to do a digital piece, especially for people who take time to do backgrounds, shading, blending, etc. I was glad to see that for some people it takes longer to do because I was unsure if people were going to put that.

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I was excited for this question! I was generally curious what other people thought because I think that digital art personally does take a different skill set than traditional art but at the same time I feel as for some people it doesn't. I feel like it depends on the person's style.

I didn't think that there would be more no than there was yes so I was glad I asked this question :)

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I wanted to know if they knew that some people saw digital art negatively.

I was surprised I didn't get all yes, but at the same time I was glad that there were people who haven't heard about how digital art is seen as negative.

I also asked what kind of stuff they heard and here are some of the responses

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"I've heard things along the lines of "digital art isn't real art", "digital artists are fake artists", and "digital art is inferior".

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"Some people say it’s harder or more confusing but when u get used to it then it’s easier than traditional."

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"its not real art" "it doesn't count as art"

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"People taking advantage of it and making disgusting art, can get stolen easily"

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Most of the things that were said I already covered however with the last one, "people taking advantage of it and making disgusting art" I feel like with any form of art that happens, it's just more common to see digital art like that because it is more shared on the internet.

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The last question I decided to ask was for fun, but I wanted to know what programs if they were a digital artist that they used so if you would like to try digital art for yourself here are some programs to start. :)

ibis paint

This is the program I use and I think it's the best free program out there.

Autodesk SketchBook

This is a program I started with and it worked well.

fire alpaca

I've never used this program but it's free and from what I heard it's a good program.

Photoshop

I'm unsure how much this cost, I've only ever really used Photoshop for class until today when I connected my tablet and I find it a fun place to sketch.

Procreate

This program is $9.99 and it is only for iOS. I know a lot of digital arts use this program. but I also heard that ibis paint was better, that's how I actually found out about ibis, however I've never used procreate so I don't know how true that statement is.

Microsoft paint

I'm pretty sure most people have used Microsoft paint once in there life's, it's free and on most laptops and I've seen people make really cool pixel art on there.

[goldenswan]

Diary #2

Sunny morning and enjoyable coffee. Today was quite relaxing. No calls to ring, no big news to be rushed to me, no person in need of training. I've received some new gifts too. The one i am the most grateful is a beautiful set of oil colors. I've played with them during the day working on beautiful sunrise. Such a productive day made have such a good mood that i started preparing for the job a bit earlier this time. The dress for tonight was a long, close-fitting, backless dress made of with a deep blue velvet. Today i hade chosen a diamond necklace as my main accessory.

The bar opened like any other evening. People came and go. Jungwoo sent me the most beautiful bouquet of flowers, again, which only meant today is friday. I wish i've could more but i can't apreciate men like him. His effort is something to be admired. But until he will be able to be more upfront with his desire for me it won't work. Come here, show yourself in front of me if you truly want me to see you as a man, do not just hide behind small gifts, like any man i've just worked with. I wish for the time you will actually be able to do it, maybe you might be able to change my heart but curently you're just one of my admirers, nothing more, nothing less.

Anyway, the day still went its own way.

From the people i chitchat with to the ones i've eavesdropped from what i learnt it seems that the new drug which showed up on the blackmarket is actually more dangerous than it looked at the first sight. It spreads like a virus, and big dossages makes people lose sense of themselves for bigger amounts of time, some actually don't recall but there have been some acts of violence because of them. The addiction grows bigger too after each usage. We need a deeper investigation. Our bussinesses might suffer but also win from it, if we play it right. We might need to get the cooking recipe from the source itself. We will need a plan.

The night passed easily this time. No callamities this time. But even if they would have appeared I have a small protector this time. It's actually a cute feeling to have someone here, but still, not healthy at all for him. He doesn't even consume alcohol but he stayed and watched me for the whole night. I do understand the loneliness he has, i had it too. Living in an orphanage will always be harsh on a young mind. I let him sleep at my place from time to time, when he wants to talk, having my couch free, but still, he has his dorm room and friends of his age now. It was cute in the past but he shouldn't always just come to me. I don't want to break him. I feel flattered by him but still that's not how he should live. He's at the age where he should hang out more with his teammates, train with them and prepare for anything that might appear, maybe it's my fault for babying him too much when he first joined. Sorry Jisung, I need to be more cold and push you for a bit. It will hurt but it has to be done, towards many people around me, i can let only one person to rely on me, even with him i have doubts. But... how many times have i already wrote this but didn't actually put it into action. I've became too soft. I wonder, how much my past self would laugh seeing me like this. I can already hear the inflexions in her voice while calling me weak. In my voice, i am still her and she is me, i need to stop from putting boundaries to myself. But... It's still sad.

In the past I proclaimed myself as a man-eater, a cold woman who would stomp on any men that would show in my way, trying to lead me, fools that have been played. Now i desire more and more to belong in the heart of somebody, to truly be loved and love him too. Who is the fool now? Maybe i played myself or maybe this was always in my heart but only now i finnaly see it and admit it.

After all, look at you, the one who in the past woudn't even give a second chance of a man to talk to her now just as easily prepares the glass of wiskey to a man even before he reaches the club, even when you know it well he might not show up, again, just to jug it yourself when you have to close.

Open relationships are strange, i loved them in the past. They were the part that build my freedom mentality, but now i feel getting myself tangled with feellings that would only boast somebody's greed and ego. Getting all the attention i want, no need to actually give it back without a price or having any responsibility on anyone's feellings, flirting easily, getting any gift i wish just by pointing to it, thrill to step on a man heart, crushing him, only to give him a drop of hope after it, feeding the hungry eyes with my love but only by my rules, having a new expensive dress each night, i was living for these in the past. Now? I'm not sure anymore if this lifestyle.

Maybe i got old or got out of shape that i don't enjoy it as before, the wiskey glasses seems too get more sweeter too each time i drink another one of his, or maybe it's cause i use his glass, a small indirect kiss. How funny, only a teen would feel so naive at heart to dream like that, but this is my first time actually experiencing, ironic. Each piece of ice melts one day, maybe yours too will happen at the right time with the right person.

Ah, the right time, when I close my eyes and just let the memomries play again and again in my head. Him coming to the bar. The hard day being seen in his tired eyes, making me want to hug him and take all that heaviness away. His hand going up to loose his tie while he takes the glass that was already waiting him with the other free hand. A small smirk taking shape on his face because of me reading his mind.

I liked that. Just to stare at him while the low soothing music plays in the background. The dim lights kinda painting his features, sculpting his face and becoming a breathtaking piece of art to my eyes. Everything dragging me closer to him, being tempted by his tainting eyes and small sparkles within them, just like losing track of the time by simply staring at the night sky, dark, silent, mysterious. I always wondered what new sercrets took place again in his heart. Making his eyes getting darker and darker each time i see him. I fear that light that keeps fading might really dissapear some day, or worse, i will just let myself be eaten by it, his own darkness, together with him, getting myself covered in his own black. Romantic but tragic too. Tempting myself to just forget and lose myself in him. I can still picture it right. My attention would fall easily on his hands. Taking his coat off, raising his shirt sleeves up. Seeing his beautiful neck and adam's apple dance each time he would take a gulp from the wiskey. A small sound leaving his beautifull lips, together with a deep breath exhaled, relieving any tension from his body. His eyes locking on mine while his hand is traveling easily through his hair. I take my time, letting myself be mesmerized by each part. Soon my eyes travel again to his hands, each small detail that is elegantly decorating them, each vein pulsating from his blood rushing, how many stories can he write on me with those.

My own hands wish they would be his while i caress myself, letting my imagination run wild. Traveling and hugging each side of my body. Wishing to melt again in his touch. Feeling a rougher grasp but also gentlier feather like glide. Hearing his growls playing sweetly in my ears while i feel each part of him tensing stronger and stronger, his chest rising and lowering in the same rythm with mine, never allowing to catch my breath, selfishly drowing each of my moan i wish to let out with his mouth. The highs and lows i fell fought until we got closer and closer, relivieng with eachother climax and getting deeper into our desire with each new session. Open towards each raw fantasy we had. Embracing each shade of color we would have had it hidden. I might have learned how to work my body the best way but it's been too long not to crave for his way of loving me. His kisses and moans, the passion and hunger that he is able to pour into me, making me forget about any other woman that shared his bed in his travels. Making me forget about any man that took out a bit of my loneliness while he was away. I crave you, i need to see you showing up late at night, to enjoy eachother's silence while we get through our work and simply sharing in each other eyes the desire that only this walls will know it after i close. To scream your name and hear you calling mine. Doyoung, i swear i hate myself for it, but after so long away, i cannot lie, i do miss you.

All of this, because of her. She changed a bit of me, she made me see the beauty of such love, whishing to have it my own, to feel through my whole, she changed all of us, and her accident even more after it. I still have sour taste in my mouth looking back at it.

The only thing i could actually do was to show my support, which i am faithfully still doing it for you, my beloved brother. Even though i know you've strayed away from the man you wanted to be. I know you are aware of it. I know you won't allow me or anyone to get you out of this hell. You only wish to be watched. You wish for everyone to see and experience the purifying fire you want to unleash. Taeyong, you might have supporters on this dream, but, why i feel this is only a mission fueled by the guilt and resentment, a guilt you should actually share it with us, so we can all grieve fully, so you can heal. Cause while i look to the story that you plan i only see an ugly ending. I know i should let you do it, but you leaving me, is a selfish thought that i would never want to happen. I will support you, but i will also be sure somebody will stop you. You need a wake up call. Has the promise you made for your grandfather been forgotten.

I need to go back to church, i can only pray for you. Pray for you that for each night you visit my place and let out all your cries of guilt and desperation burried deep indside it will be enough to just be with you. Going together through this, trying to lift a bit of your heavy cross, even if it will mean making mine push me harder to ground.

I need time, time to find the right solution to make you keep going until a new light will show at your end of tunnel. Please don't leave me so soon my dear brother. I love you too much to see you turning away. Hope my own cry will be heard one time by somebody and hope you will truly understand that what i will do, it will be for your own good. Until then, i will need to keep working and become stronger, for the two of us. I will bring it back that life, we will be like the old times, when we were together, playing family. I will keep you strong. This time i won't allow myself to be weak, to anyone, not even to the ones i love.