#this was my first time ever writing 2003 boys i hope i did okay aaaa

[boxfullaturtles]

Not sure if you're writing specific versions of the turtles for the angst prompts, but would you be able to do 2003 Raph with 19 (beastly) or 32 (begging)?

"Tell me not to." The villain of the week orders--some new chump the Purple Dragons have on their payroll.

Raph grinds his teeth, hands clenched so hard into fists that they're shaking. The bastard's got a gun pressed against Mikey's shell. And while Raph and his brothers are tough, at that range the bullet will punch right through and then Mikey's...

"I already dropped my weapons, ya' dickweed! What more do ya' want!?" Raph snaps, letting his anger coat the terror thudding in his chest. Anger is so much easier to manage than fear.

"I want you to beg me not to shoot him," The guy's got a sneer like he's the one with all the cards. And right now, he is, "Beg me, come on, freak, I wanna hear you plead for his life."

"Raph--" Mikey chokes on whatever stupid joke he was trying to make.

They both know that Raph will do anything for his brothers. Just like any of them would do anything for him. Raph embraces all the violence and rage and bitterness so his brothers don't have to. Raph will take all the hard hits, throw all the worst punches, and do all the dirty work. If it means keeping his brothers' hands clean, he'll take it.

So it doesn't take much effort for him to bite the words out, "Don't shoot him. Don't do it. Just let him go."

"That don't sound like beggin', that sounded like an order..." There's a click of the hammer pulling back and Mikey shivers.

"Please!" Raph shouts, taking a half a step forward, "Please don't! Please, just let him go!"

"Eh, I dunno if you mean it..."

Desperation burns fuel for rage and Raph drops to his knees, "Please don't hurt him! He--he's just a kid! He's my baby brother! I'll do anything!" Everything's spilling out, he's opened a flood gate and it doesn't want to close. His voice cracks and he hates it but he can't stop, "Take me instead! Let him go and take me! Please!"

"No, Raph!"

"You wanna take the bullet for your pal?"

Raph's breath hitches and his chest is shuddering. He meets Mikey's gaze and Mikey is begging him not to do this. But Leo's always going on about responsibility and Raph is responsible for getting them in this mess. It's his burden to bear.

"Yes," He breathes and has to force his lungs to work louder, "Yes, shoot me instead. Let him go and shoot me instead! I--I can take it!" Pride means nothing in the face of potentially losing a brother, "Please! PLEASE!"

"Well, since you asked so nicely..." The chump moves pretty fast for a human. Between one blink and the next, Raph sees the barrel of the gun aimed at him.

Then there's that ear-splitting BANG and agony punches him in the chest, sending him toppling backwards. His ears are ringing but he can still hear Mikey's distant scream. The floor is spinning, the pain blistering over his other senses until he's just a throbbing beat of suffering. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts so bad. There's a flower of hurt blooming just below his collarbone, right above his plastron, and it's digging its roots deep into his chest cavity, filling him up until he can't hardly breathe.

"Raph! RAPH! RAPHIE, PLEASE!" Distantly there are familiar hands on him and Mikey's voice screeching from under a film of muddy water, "Please say something! Raph, please! Don't--don't leave me here, bro..."

His vision swims in and out of focus, darkening at the edges, and Raph squints up at Mikey's tearful face. Aw shit, he's made Mikey cry. Leo's going to lecture him for that one.

"'S 'kay, Mike..." Fuck, it's so hard to talk. Raph is nothing but a vessel of pain, pain, pain and pain doesn't have a language, "You s-safe...?"

"R-Raphie, you're bleeding...! I--I dunno what to do! Don's not--no, no, shit, please, please, Raphie, please!"

"M' t-tellin' Leo that you s-swore..." Raph wheezes and lets his eyes close because it's way too hard to keep them open.

Mikey makes a disgusting sound, all gummed up and choked like he's the one who can't breathe. There's water dripping on Raph's face, making him twitch. Did it start raining? Crap, they should get home before it starts to downpour. They were outside, right? Things are becoming slippery. Raph is sinking into a sea of fiery agony.

"M-Mikey?"

"Yeah, yeah, Raphie, I'm right here! I'm right here!"

"...you safe?"

Mikey sobs and Raph feels his baby brother press their forehead's together, "Y-yeah, I...I'm okay, Raph, I'm safe. I promise I'm safe. But--but you gotta be safe too, okay! You gotta stay here! You gotta stay safe and--and you can't go anywhere!"

"M'kay..." Raph mumbles. There's a screech like tires from beyond the veil of pain he's draped in, doors slamming, voice calling, "'M here...stayin' here...I...I'll..."

He wants to say he'll always be here. Because somebody's got to take all the hits that he won't ever let his brothers feel.

But he doesn't manage to get the words out before the roots of the flower in his chest squeeze the last of the air from his lungs. He sinks all the way to the bottom of the pain-filled trench and lets the sea wash him away into darkness.