#this was mostly because of the ''what are you'' in the last chapter
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Ah! I really wish I had a better set of words to reply to this reblog but I am very much short of the same. all I can say is Thank you so much for reading Slide. As I always say, this is not at all an easy story to read. But still it is getting so much love and kind reblogs like yours - I am speechless.
As you said it's always tough to anticipate what is going to happen next, mostly because I didn't myself know what would be happening next while writing it. This was truly unplanned and I only wrote what hurt me the most - crazy, I know. haha.
So, thanks a lot for bearing with me till here, for reading, loving and appreciating this little story. There are most angst and hurt to come but we have already been through the worst so I hope the upcoming chapters feel better to read.
Thank you a ton. Love you! and I will add you and everyone else who asked to be on the taglist for the last five chapters <3
Slide - The Series [Masterlist]
Pairing: Producer!Yoongi X Lyricist!Reader
Theme: Angst, smut, unplanned pregnancy. Fwb to ?.
Type: Drabble Series
Summary:
"I can see the pain in your eyes I don't wanna say that I'm God, but I'll take you to heaven if you die"
Alternatively,
You would go back in time and fall in love with Yoongi over and over and over again even after knowing that he would never once be yours in any of the timeline.
Warnings: extreme angst, unplanned pregnancy, mentions of depression, so much pining, unrequited love au, NSFW!!
Listened to Slide by Chase Atlantics
Minors do not interact!!
Masterlist | Patreon (For early access)
A/N: here is the masterlist. the story is gonna to back to the past and then come back to the present. hence, I have classified it. Hope it makes things easy to understand. also, this is gonna be very fragmented. I will not go into detailing much - as in the details of their jobs, family and stuff like that. this story will mainly revolve around Yoongi and reader's feelings towards each other and their bad decisions. That's all. AND please tell me if I have missed anyone's name in the taglist despite being requested. thanks <3
Taglist requests are closed for now
One time for the present ~
1. Slide - The Beginning
You would go back in time and fall in love with Yoongi over and over and over again even after knowing that he would never once be yours in any of the timeline.
2. Slide - The Ultimate Decision
Worst decisions are always driven by anger and alcohol; but sometimes those are also driven by Love.
3. Slide - The Other Side
No matter how much Yoongi had been trying to compile his focus and pour it all on Gyuri, his mind kept reeling back to you.
4. Slide - The Consequence
You are no different than the cigarette between his lips - half-burnt and waiting to be turned into ashes bit by bit with time.
5. Slide - The Dream
You have been so selfish and as a result - you get punished.
6. Slide - The Regret
For the first time in his 31 years of life - Min Yoongi is regretting. And the reason behind his regret circles around you.
7. Slide - The Trial (TBA) [Read now on Patreon]
You have some questions and Yoongi has no answer.
8. Slide - The Vacation (TBA) [Read now on Patreon]
Yoongi finally finds an answer to all of his questions.
9. Slide - The Realization (TBA) [Read now on Patreon]
Yoongi dreams of you... dreams of a family with you.
10. Slide - The Reconciliation (TBA) [Read now on Patreon]
“There was never a time when I wasn’t yours.”
11. Slide - The Finale (TBA) [Read now on Patreon]
Tonight when he kisses you, it’s not a goodbye, rather it’s a promise of forever.
Two times for the past ~
1. Slide - The Prequel
You would never think twice before picking Yoongi up from streets even if it means losing your own sanity in return.
2. Slide - That Night
You would give yourself up willingly again and again if it means Yoongi will stay close to you. for whatever purpose.
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UPDATE: New blog and the future of my Raph fics for those who care.
I’ve made a new blog. It’ll mostly be dedicated to Lucanis from Dragon Age: The Veilguard and Dragon Age in general. If that interests you, the name is @bitethedemon. I’ll still be running this blog. You’re not getting rid of me that easily, unfortunately.
What does this mean then?
I made a whole new blog because this one is so entrenched in Raphael, that it would feel wrong for me to start posting other stuff on here too. Instead, I made a new one to keep things separated.
Like I said, I’ll still be running this blog. I can just feel that these last couple of months I have felt a bit uninspired. It’s become more of a task to write fics, and I’m not a fan of that. I’d rather not then, instead of producing some soulless product without any heart in it. I’m not completely quitting on my Raphael fics but they are all at a slight pause for now. The hyperfixation has been fizzling out a little bit.
I still love writing analysis posts! I love the discussions and talks we have on here too. But when it comes to creative writing, I’m struggling a bit with what more to write. I’ve finally started writing creatively again in the way that I prefer it after starting to write about something else. So, I’m going to do that for a while.
I might still do prompts and I do have some half finished chapters that might come out sporadically, but I'm not trying to stress myself out about it. Who knows? Maybe it'll come naturally when I get properly into the groove again.
In conclusion:
I’m not breaking up with the Raphael fandom. I’m just taking a little pause with fic writing on here to do something else too. This sucks if you really like one of the fics I’ve just stopped in the middle of, and I’m sorry, but I can spoil tf out of it through DM’s if you want. Other than that, not much is different. The shitshow that is this blog must, and will, go on.
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Healer (Chapter Five)
Mattheo Riddle x F!Reader
Warnings: Mentions of blood and fighting, slightly angsty
It was fourth year now. Last year felt like you really made progress with Mattheo. He was opening up more, you caught a few smiles from him. Though, they were mostly at the expense of someone else, but he wasn’t so closed off anymore. He always gladly accepted the sweets you gave him when you came back from Hogsmeade, still never daring to tell you he hated them.
The fights and trouble-making didn’t seem to end, though. In fact, it seemed to get worse at times. He would never tell you about them either, you always had to find out through other people or when you’d see him covered in new injuries.
Today, you were walking to the Great Hall when you found Mattheo bloodied and injured outside in the courtyard, sitting on the ground against the tree. He was hissing in pain as he smoked, but otherwise, showed no indication that he was hurting. Everyone else either didn't notice him, or was too scared to approach him and headed to the Great Hall for dinner. You decided to check on him instead, coming up from beside him.
“What happened?” You asked, standing a few feet away from him.
He looked up at you as he exhaled some smoke. “Got into a fight.” He said simply, almost monotone.
“Are you in pain?” You asked, kneeling in front of him, ignoring the cold of the snow on the ground on your knees.
“What do you think?” He responded in a frustrated tone before sighing, closing his eyes for a moment. “Yes, I am.”
“Let's get you back to your dorm and get you cleaned up.” You said, standing up and offering a hand to help him up.
He looked at your hand for a few seconds before standing up without your help and dropping the cigarette, stepping on it to put it out. He started walking, wincing and leaning a hand on the tree to steady himself. He sighed again and clenched his jaw.
“Here. I got you.” You said, coming up to his side and wrapping an arm around his back to help steady him.
He didn't look happy, but he let you guide him back to his dorm, even if you had to stop a few times.
You finally got to his dorm and guided him over to the connected bathroom, making him sit on the toilet seat. He sat down with a heavy sigh, leaning his head back as you scoured his cabinets for a first-aid kit.
“Under the sink, behind the towels.” He said without looking at you.
You grabbed the first-aid kit and placed it on the counter beside him, grabbing the antiseptic and a cotton pad. “This is gonna sting. I’m sorry.” You said, putting antiseptic on the cotton pad before placing it gently against a cut on his cheek. He let out a wince and you apologized again. “I’m sorry. You know, we wouldn’t have to do this if you didn’t keep getting into fights.” You say with a small sigh, moving onto another cut.
“I know.” He muttered, looking down, refusing to meet your eyes this whole time.
“You’re not gonna stop, though, huh?”
“Probably not.” He shrugged.
“You’re ridiculous, you know that? You’re so stupid. It’s like you’re intentionally getting hurt. What would’ve happened if I didn’t find you?” You’ve never really gotten upset at him, never insulted him, never criticized his choices, and now here you were, ridiculing him.
He finally looked at you, silent for a moment. You were so sure he was upset at you, pulling your hand back from his face as you looked back at him, waiting for him to tell you to get out.
“You don’t have to care about me, you know? I’m aggressive, and a dick. No one really likes me. The boys barely tolerate me. I get into fights what feels like more often than not. You don’t have to take care of me.” He said, looking between your eyes.
“I know. I’m not caring about you or healing you out of obligation. I’m doing this because I want to. Also, those boys do more than tolerate you. You can be a dick, but they all do love you and care about you. You know that, right? And it’s not out of obligation either.” You didn’t look away, having a small staredown with him.
“So you just care about me out of pity or something? You have no reason to care about me. And how would you even know what those guys feel? They could hate me and hide it. They could pity me too because I have no one else but them, so they tolerate me. They could just be tolerating my bullshit.”
“They’re not friends out of pity, Mattheo. They aren’t the type to go out of their way because of pity. If they didn’t like you, you would know it. And I don’t need a reason to care about you. I don’t care about you out of pity. I just care about you.”
He shook his head, looking to the side with a sigh. “That’s such bullshit.”
You took a deep breath through your nose before cupping his face gently to turn his head back to you, making him meet your eyes. “I promise it’s not. I’m telling the truth. I care about you. Those boys care about you. We’re not just tolerating you.”
“How do I know that?” He asked quietly. You could see a hint of sadness behind his eyes.
“You don’t. You just gotta trust us.” You replied just as quietly as him.
“Yeah, trust isn’t exactly something I’m good at.” He let out a huff, pulling his head back from your hands.
“I know. But I mean it. I’m telling the truth. Have I ever lied to you?” You asked, dropping your hands to your sides.
He was quiet for a moment, looking down. “No. No, you haven’t.”
“So trust me then, please?” You asked quietly, crouching down to meet his eyes without touching him.
He sighed softly. “Alright.”
You smiled at him before standing back up. “Let’s finish getting you cleaned up, yeah?”
He just nodded and looked back up at you, letting you clean and bandage his cuts in silence other than his small winces and your quiet apologies.
“How do you feel?” You asked once you were done, packing up the first-aid kit.
“Like hell.” He said, watching you.
“Well, maybe some rest will help fix that.” You said, putting the first-aid kit back in the cabinet.
“Do you wanna go to the Yule Ball with me?” He asked suddenly and you tried getting up quickly, hitting your head on the counter.
“What?” You asked, looking at him as you rubbed the back of your head.
“Do you wanna go to the Yule Ball with me?” He repeated, keeping his normal expression.
“I, uh-” You stood up, looking at him in confusion. “Um, yeah. I’d love to.” You nodded.
“You alright? Didn’t hit your head too hard?” He asked, standing up to look at the back of your head.
“I’m fine. Just a little bump.” You said to reassure him.
“Good.”
“How’s your leg? You were limping earlier.” You asked.
“It’ll be fine before the ball if that’s what you’re asking.” He said, and it was hard to tell if that was a joke or not.
“I mean now. Is it alright?” You asked, frowning slightly as you turned your head to look at him.
You saw the faintest smile on his face. “It’ll be fine in a few days.” He said, turning to leave the bathroom. “Come on. You don’t wanna miss dinner, princess.”
“Two years later and you’re still using that pet name. Are you ever gonna drop it?” You asked with a small smile, following after him.
“Probably not.”
“Fine then. I’m calling you Matty from now on.”
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@yours-truly-5 @hpnsfwaddict @mayamonroem @brittney-121 @leovaldezsbitch
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@notavailibles-world @tantrumbaby
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Ghostly Companion-- Chapter 3
<---- Last Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter ---->
[Ao3]
So sorry for the wait! My ribs are really tender right now so I took an extra day to avoid moving my arms as much.
This is mostly a lot of introspective word-vomit (and adorable Mr. Crawling!) Have fun and enjoy!
When you woke up the next morning, bleary-eyed and limbs heavy, you didn’t quite register the weight on your stomach until it moved, long strands of hair falling directly onto your face and into your mouth.
“Pff–” You spit out, eyes blinking open to see your brand new companion looking delightful and far too energetic for whatever time in the morning it is.
“Hello!” He greeted happily. “You ∎∎∎!”
“Good morning…” You manage to groan out, gently pushing the brunt of his weight off your chest and watching as he rolls to your side.
You sigh, taking a few spare moments to fully wake up before hauling yourself up, carefully unwinding the gray arms wrapped around your body. Your morning routine was quick, methodical, and you hardly realized when you finished draping your futon on the balcony to air out until you approached your now-empty tatami mats and only saw Mr. Crawling sitting down patiently.
You… weren’t quite sure what to do now. Breakfast, maybe? Do ghosts need breakfast? You don’t recall ever seeing Mr. Crawling eat anything at all during your short amount of time together, but maybe that was because his world was a barren wasteland. You certainly saw other evidence of human-eating ghosts in his world.
Would his behaviors be similar to all those myths and legends– or at least to his fellow ghosts? Getting… human flesh to feed him wouldn’t be easy, if he liked it at all. But, you’d much rather him feast on someone else rather than on your own flesh if your hunch was right. You doubt he’d do much else than nibble at an unimportant limb, but you also never experienced a grumpy Mr. Crawling– or any version of him that wasn’t incessantly pleasant and sweet. He could go crazy, and you, the idiot who housed him and let him cuddle up against your vital organs, would be first in line to his stomach.
That won’t do. You made it out of a near death-match once already. You’re keeping yourself and your lovely prize of a companion safe and happy. Even if it means having to go elbow deep in blood. While somewhat chilling, the thought bringing up those unfortunate memories, you find it easier to think about knowing that the blood would be from someone you don’t even know.
An unimportant stranger. A stupid stranger.
Well, finding a person would still take some time. A part of your mind wanders back to the mountains where numerous people are said to have gone missing throughout the year– something to do with another ghost wearing a raincoat and umbrella. An urban legend, but one that’s pretty widely believed in these parts of the city. You don’t find it to be true– after all, you’ve been stuck there before and came out perfectly fine each and every time, so it must be other peoples’ lack of survival skills that killed them out there.
Which was great, honestly. You’d be able to chalk everything up to a nonexistent being. People wouldn’t bat an eye at a nice, young, and good-looking person such as you wandering around in cute looking clothes and ‘empty’ hands. Harmless. A naive adult who was curious and ‘stuck close to the trails.’ You could do that. Besides, it would only be for a few hours every… few weeks, maybe? You imagine harvesting human flesh to be something like cattle– one body would last a very long amount of time in the deep freezer.
Yeah. That would also fit into your schedule, so it all works out. The tedious part would be just finding a loner you could convince to take a run through the mountains to prove their bravery or some random trait like that.
Well, that part can always come later. For now, it was time to settle your needs.
You were hungry, and so you went off to your kitchen after giving Mr. Crawling a brief pat on the head, digging through your fridge for anything you could make.
Your fridge was still full of fresh foods from a grocery trip taken before your whole descent into that world that shall-not-be-named, and it was almost offensive at how nothing really seemed to care about your disappearance, but you could take it out on the food once it gets on a plate.
You fished out some eggs, rice, and random toppings, combining it into one mixed up bowl and placing it on your floor table as you turned on the television.
A quick offer of a mouthful of your food to Mr. Crawling resulted in his curious face sniffing and staring closely at it before taking the bite– and swallowing it after a few swishes in his mouth. No chewing.
Huh. So, he liked raw eggs?
You got up to grab two more, swiftly taking your seat on the floor cushion and holding one up in front of his face.
He smiled, inspecting it somewhat. “Object eat?” He asks, poking delicately at it.
You nodded. “You want?” You asked, making a move to show him how the egg was part of the stuff he had eaten.
When he nods, you crack the egg against the counter, holding it above his mouth, ready to break it open. He was briefly– and rather adorably– confused at the action, but opened his jaws wide, showcasing rows of razor sharp teeth.
You didn’t need to pass biology class to know that they indicated a very carnivorous diet.
You cracked open the egg, letting it drop into his mouth and watching, with mild repulsion, as he swallowed it whole, looking happy and satisfied as he licked his lips.
Well then– raw eggs would tide him over until an actual meal (if he even needs one). Good to know.
His mouth opened wide once again as you discarded the shell and cracked the second one open, letting it plop into his mouth and go down the hatch.
That was actually kind of fun. A few years ago, you briefly considered getting chickens of your own until you realized just how many eggs a small flock of 3 could produce in a week. Mr. Crawling seems to be an excellent excuse to get some– not after moving out, of course. Well, you doubt anyone here would care if they spot some fluffed up feathers every now and then.
After that brief breakfast, you steeled yourself to continue your normal everyday activities– as if nothing happened.
And you also needed to make an elaborate lie about where you were the past day. You had no doubts that, if you told the truth, you would be shipped off to an institution and have your companion exorcized within the next 24 hours.
___________________________
Your friends, very concerned, simply would not stop asking you questions and berating your decision to split off from the main group– as if they hadn’t dragged you to the bravery challenge against your complaints.
There were 5 people you needed to comfort. And, there will be about 15 people you’ll need to apologize to for your inability to work– paired with the cordial, expensive gifts and handwritten letter to your boss begging not to be fired.
Annoying, annoying, annoying.
You patted Mr. Crawling’s head as you searched up the nearest sales.
At least he was cute. Like a little, loyal puppy. He was so low maintenance outside of his potential human-flesh needs and his desire for attention– which you could most definitely work with. It was nice and relaxing being with him, not having to worry about all the tiny societal rules you had to follow with everyone else. And, now that you were back in your own world, it felt refreshingly nice having someone depend on you instead of it being the other way around.
You had power here. And it was nice.
“You mad?” Mr. Crawling ask, cheek pressed up against your neck as he looked over your shoulder at your laptop screen, fingers flicking through ads and discount codes with sharp tap tap tap’s that indicated your irritated mood.
“Me not mad you,” You mumbled, hand reaching up to play with his hair. It was nice and soft now, your conditioner having worked its magic.
“Humans.” You muttered, not particularly in the mood to elaborate.
“Humans?”
“Mhm,” You hum, gently rubbing soothing circles into his scalp and watching, satisfied, as he leaned more of his weight against you.
So, so cute. You couldn’t get enough of him.
<---- Last Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter ---->
[Ao3]
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a lover's redemption | chapter 3
chapter 3. the new normal
pairing ↠ mafia leader!park jimin x reader
genre ↠ mafia AU — romance/action (angst, fluff, smut)
summary ↠ Blood, business and betrayal is all that Park Jimin has ever known, but when you cross paths again, the stakes are raised even higher and he finds himself battling his conscience, and his heart.
word count ↠ 13.3k
18+ | warnings ↠ drinking, explicit sexual content, violence, all sorts of crime (please see the series masterlist for a complete list of warnings).
taglist is open – dm/comment/send an ask to be added <3
notes ↠ please enjoy and shareeeee xxoxoxox and pls share your thoughts w me as we get into it ;) also in case its not clear, jimin's birth year in the fic is 1995, same as real life, and Y/N is 2 years younger than him. I always put the year for any flashbacks so you can work out how old they are :) any confusion, please let me know (i might make a mistake!) thanks angels! <3
17th July 2009
The heavy scent of cigar smoke lingered in the room, curling around the dark oak furniture. Jimin sat quietly beside his father, his small legs barely brushing the floor. Across from them, Lee Han-Jae exhaled a long puff of his cigar, looking tired.
“They confirmed the crash?” Jihoon asked, his tone devoid of warmth.
Jimin did not know what accident his uncle and father had planned but he knew that his father had been on edge all day because of it.
Han-Jae nodded. “Mostly. But he's gone.” He downed what was left of his drink. “Did we take care of the family?”
Jihoon swirls his glass. “We’ll let them go, they have no one.”
“Except Kija and Min-Baek-hyun,” Han-jae counters.
“They mean nothing to us.”
“But they were loyal to Sehun.”
Upon hearing this, Jimin goes still, realising what’s happened.
“Their loyalty was not just to Sehun but the entire Han family. They will protect them at all costs and they’ve been in this long enough to know not to retaliate if they want to keep themselves safe.”
Han-Jae says nothing else of the matter but his face does little to mask his disapproval. He took another puff of his cigar before he spoke again. “The other two men survived. Escaped before the flames could finish the job. They’re digging through the wreckage, but the police are sniffing around."It seems dental records are proving... inconvenient.”
Jihoon’s eyes narrowed, his jaw clenching. “Inconvenient?” he echoed. “The detectives are a problem?”
Han-Jae waved a dismissive hand. “Nothing we can’t handle.”
“Funny,” Jihoon said, leaning forward slightly. “You said the same thing about the last case they opened. And now I hear whispers about them building something bigger — trafficking charges. Another detective’s on the case, isn’t he?” His tone sharpened. “You’ve been careless, Han-Jae.”
The room tensed, the air thick with unsaid threats. Han-Jae stiffened, his smirk faltering for the briefest moment. “Watch your tongue, Jihoon.”
Jihoon’s lip curled. “You’ve been playing dirty, using our resources to fund your side business."
Han-Jae remained indifferent. "You'll be asking for a share soon. All the pieces are almost complete and this detective is nothing more than a bump in the road. I'll deal with it."
"That's besides the point. I trusted you and you're acting foolishly."
"Foolishly?"
"Is it not?" Jihoon asked, patronising.
Jimin watched as Han-Jae got up wordlessly and walked over to his cabinet. He picked up the decanter and generously poured himself some whiskey.
“I’ve given you more than enough leash,” Jihoon continued, his voice rising. “But if you think I’ll let you drag my name down with yours, think again.”
Han-Jae emptied his glass before he turned, his face a mask of fury. “We’ll talk about this later,” he spat. “We have somewhere to be.”
Jihoon didn’t bother responding. Instead, he turned his attention to Jimin, his gaze cold and commanding. “Get a gun.”
Jimin froze, his blood turning to ice. His lips parted, but no sound came out.
“Now,” Jihoon snapped, his tone sharp enough to cut. "Then meet me by the car."
Jihoon left the room and Jimin followed, his legs moving before his mind could catch up. He went towards the basement, down the stairs and past the training floor, all the way to the locked room at the back. Some of his father's men watched as he walked, but none said a word. Hands trembling, he pressed his thumb to the scanner and waited for the door to unlock, revealing an entire array of weapons lining the walls.
Jimin didn't think. He picked up the first handgun he saw, checked it was loaded and then walked out with the cold metal feeling alien in his grasp, the weight far heavier than he anticipated.
Without realising it, his feet carried him to the kitchen, where his mother stood slicing vegetables. She turned at the sound of his shaky breathing, her eyes immediately softening when she saw the gun in his hands.
“Jimin,” she whispered, crossing the room in an instant. She crouched down in front of him, pulling him into a gentle hug. The faint scent of lavender filled his nose, momentarily drowning out the suffocating reality around him.
“I can’t,” he mumbled against her shoulder. “I can’t do it.”
His mother’s embrace tightened. “I never wanted this for you, Jimin,” she murmured, her voice thick with regret. “I’m so sorry.” She pulled back, brushing his hair from his face with trembling fingers. “But this is your life now. Your father won’t wait. If you don’t go back, he’ll only get angrier.”
Jimin shook his head. “Why do you let him—” His voice broke off and a single tear rolled down his cheek.
"I'm so sorry." Her face crumpled, but she quickly composed herself and closed his fingers around the gun. “You have to go now, before he comes looking for you.”
Reluctantly, he nodded, his small frame trembling as she kissed his forehead and guided him toward the door.
The container yard smelled of damp concrete and iron, the air thick and stifling. As Jimin stepped out of the car, he immediately spotted Kwan and Duri ahead of them.
Jihoon and Han-Jae walked ahead while Taemin and Jimin followed behind. As they went further into the yard, around a dark corner, Jimin glanced at Taemin, hoping for some kind of answer. Taemin, barely older than Jimin, gave a reassuring smile of sorts when Jimin glanced his way, but it did little to make him feel better. Jimin figured he knew where they were going since he and his dad spoke often.
Duri pulled the heavy door of one of the containers open as they approached and both fathers stopped short outside of the container. Han-Jae laughed mirthlessly and they both stepped aside for Jimin and Taemin to see.
Two detectives knelt on the floor, their faces bloodied and swollen, their hands tied tightly behind their backs.
Suddenly, the dead weight of the gun in his hand felt heavy again.
Jihoon glanced over his shoulder. “Stay here,” he ordered both boys.
Taemin, barely older than Jimin, gave a solemn nod but said nothing.
Jihoon stepped into the container, and crouched in front of one of the detectives, his voice low but menacing. “I warned you to stay out of my business. But now, you’re here. What do you have to say for yourself?”
The detective spat at Jihoon’s feet, earning himself a sharp backhand. Jihoon stood, motioning to Jimin. “Come here.”
Jimin hesitated, his heart pounding in his chest.
“Now, Jimin."
Taemin looked between them and gently nudged Jimin forward. "Go on," he whispered.
Reluctantly, Jimin got closer, his eyes glued to the ground.
"This man is a threat to us,” Jihoon said, calmly. “End him.”
Jimin’s breath hitched. “I-I can’t—”
Jihoon’s hand lashed out, striking him hard enough to send him stumbling. “You’re weak,” he snarled, stepping close to Jimin and speaking low in his ear. “Your mother’s made you soft.”
Jimin’s head snapped up and he ignored the harsh stinging sensation on his cheek. “Is that why you always send her away?” he asked, teeth gritted. “To keep her away from me?”
Jihoon froze, his face darkening. For a moment, Jimin thought he might strike him again. But instead, Jihoon looked right at Jimin and spoke, his voice icy. “She chooses to leave. Every time she walks out that door, it’s her choice. And it’s time you grew up and realised that.”
Jimin’s grip on the gun tightened, his knuckles white. He didn't look at the man before him but raised his arm, finger closing around the trigger. "You're right," Jimin said, voice low. "It is time I grew up."
The gunshot echoed through the warehouse, the sound ringing in Jimin’s ears long after the man’s body hit the floor.
Jihoon’s voice cut through the haze. “Finally.”
But Jimin didn’t hear him. All he could see was the blood, pooling and spreading across the cold concrete. All he could feel was the weight of his father’s shadow, pressing down on him, suffocating him.
Jihoon glanced at Han-Jae, his lip curling in irritation. “You deal with the other one.”
Han-Jae smiled thinly, his hand settling on Taemin’s shoulder. “Go on, son.”
Taemin hesitated, his youthful face pale under the dim light of the yard's lights. He glanced at Jimin, whose expression was frozen in a mix of horror and detachment, and then back at his father.
Han-Jae’s smile faded. “Do you want to disappoint me?”
The weight of that question hung heavy in the air, and Taemin swallowed hard, but slowly, he stepped forward.
The second detective, bloodied and trembling, began to plead incoherently, his words dissolving into a sob.
Jimin’s stomach churned violently. He couldn’t bear to watch as Taemin raised the gun with far steadier hands than his own, nor could he endure the suffocating tension of the warehouse any longer. His voice was hoarse as he muttered, “I’m going to the car.”
Jihoon turned his head slightly but didn’t object. “Fine. Go.”
The indifference in his father’s voice stung more than any reprimand. Jimin moved toward the exit, his legs unsteady but quickening with each step.
The sound of the gunshot rang out just as he stepped out of the container, the echo chasing him into the night.
The air outside was still warm despite it being well past midnight. Jimin usually loved late summer nights like this but not today. As he walked around the bend, he felt more hot, and the humidity worsened the thick, suffocating tension inside.
He made it only a few steps further before his stomach betrayed him. Rushing over towards a stack of crates, he retched violently. The contents of his dinner surged upwards and all Jimin could hope was that he was far away enough from his dad.
His throat burned, and his body trembled as he leaned a hand against the cold metal for support.
When the heaving subsided, the silence around him felt deafening. His mind was a storm of guilt and revulsion. He could still see the detective’s lifeless eyes in his mind, and worse, as he still held the gun now, he kept imagining his finger was still around the trigger.
“This is your life now,” his mother’s voice echoed in his head, her words a hollow comfort against the growing ache in his chest.
His throat tightened, and for a brief moment, he felt the urge to cry. But the tears didn’t come. They couldn’t — not here, not now. He took a deep breath, forcing air into his lungs until the sharpness of it dulled his emotions. He repeated the motion over and over, steadying himself, quieting the chaos within.
Jimin wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve and straightened up. His legs felt heavier than before as he trudged toward the car, but by the time he reached it, his breaths had evened out, and his face was expressionless once more.
Sliding into the back seat, he leaned his head against the window and the chill of the glass grounded him.
As he sat there in silence, the weight of his actions settled like stones in his chest, and he knew this wouldn't be the last time.
Present day
It takes you a while to come to your senses, your fuzzy mind drifting in and out of sleep, telling yourself that you’re dreaming every time your eyes half open to see the surroundings of a room which isn’t yours. Your head sinks back into the feather filled pillow, your breathing is slow and steady and you remain completely still as you wait to wake up in your own bed, in your own home.
But it doesn’t happen.
As you start to focus on the feeling of your chest rising and falling with each breath, your eyes flutter open fully and everything comes rushing back to you. Seojun lying helplessly on your kitchen floor, Minjun and the men flooding your kitchen, Dani and Siho dying to protect you. And Jimin.
The thought of it all hurts your head, and you push the thoughts down, focusing on something else for now. You have many questions and you’ll make sure to get answers, but right now, one thing you’re sure of, is that you’re safe.
Looking around the room you’re in, you faintly recognise the large wooden doors and particular coving style on the walls. You spent more than a few days running around the halls of this estate, hiding and playing in the rooms belonging to the boy you were once friends with — now the man who saved your life…
It hasn’t escaped you, that had Jimin and his men not walked in when they did, Minjun would’ve killed you after he got whatever information he needed from you.
You’ve never forgotten him, and now it seems like an odd sort of fate that you’ve ended up entangled in some kind of mess with him, thanks to Seojun.
There’s definitely something going on, because there must’ve been a reason why Seojun was in your house, why he spent those late evenings at the cafe just trying to have a conversation with you.
Looking next to you on the nightstand, you see your phone and purse, as well as a few of the other items you had in your pocket and your first thought is to call Yoongi. Whatever’s going on, you need to tell him and he might know something too.
There’s also a small bowl of fresh fruit on the nightstand and a bottle of water — a small reminder that you’re safe here.
As you reach for your phone, you feel a mild throbbing pain in your wrist. You almost forgot that Minjun cut you, but the wound is neatly bandaged now. Pushing the sheets back, you look down at your thigh to see it’s also been bandaged and you’re almost certain you’ll find stitches under there. You’re also wearing clothes that aren’t yours — a loose tee and baggy basketball shorts. You don’t remember anything since falling unconscious but you’re sure one of the housemaids must’ve dressed you.
Reaching for your phone again, you expect to see a call from your grandma since she normally calls you every morning, but your home screen shows no notifications except the many security camera notifications which you’re sure must show the events that took place at your home – you might be able to use it to identify a few of the men who were there, Yoongi certainly would be able to help you with that.
Unlocking your phone, you open up your contacts and scroll through to find Yoongi’s name. Just before you can press call, there’s a knock at the door. Pausing, you look up and a few seconds later, the handle turns slowly.
A slim man enters the room, dressed sharply head to toe in a suit… Your eyes widen, and suddenly, everything makes sense.
“Yoongi.”
He smiles, though somewhat apologetically.”Y/N.” Walking over to your bed, he doesn’t hesitate to pull up the chair that sits in front of the dressing table and bring it beside your bed. While your thoughts race, Yoongi sits quietly and waits.
He’s been working for Jimin, of course he has – his dad was close with yours and Jimin, and after your father’s death, his dad, Min Baek-hyun, stayed close with your grandparents and still resides close to your grandma in Namwon, while Yoongi stayed in Seoul. All these years, you’ve stayed close friends with Yoongi, not knowing he was so close with Jimin too – someone you once considered a best friend.
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” you ask finally.
“I didn’t want to complicate things,” he murmurs, looking up. As soon as you meet his gaze, you know what he means by that…
You still remember that night, a few months ago, when Yoongi asked you to take out the Cheong men at the warehouse holding the drugs. For the first time, you asked for something in return – for him to help you find who killed your dad. It was the fact that he looked away as soon as you said the words that told you he already knew.
“I need something in return.”
Yoongi lifted his head calmly. “Is everything okay?”
You nodded, placing the key down on the table. “Just, promise me you’ll do it first.”
At this, Yoongi’s expression changed to one of concern and he hesitated.
Meeting his gaze, you said his name. “Please.”
“Alright.” Yoongi shifted, keeping his eyes on you. “I promise.”
There was a moment of silence as you mulled the words over in your head. It had been on your mind for a while, something you’d been considering often for the last few months, since you passed what would’ve been your father’s fifty fifth birthday. Not a day had gone by that you didn't miss him, and you’d known since his death that the last place he was called to, wasn’t a timely coincidence. You may have only been 12 at the time of his death, but your father always taught you to be aware of everything, and you’d noticed the tension between him and his friends for months before that night. Even the fact that you hadn’t seen Jimin in years, and the way Jihoon always disregarded your presence – that is before your father limited their visits to your family home. He was trying to protect you from them.
“I want to know who killed my dad.”
The words felt strange on your tongue – though your dad’s murder wasn’t a secret to you, you didn’t often speak about it so forwardly, especially not to Yoongi.
Concern returned to the lines in his face, brows furrowing as he shook his head and reached for your hand. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
You moved your hand from the table before he could hold it. “You know.”
He paused, eyes flitting down to where your hand was. Releasing a slow sigh, he closed his eyes. “And I think you already know.”
The anger and frustration you’d been holding on to for years began to surface.“It was them, wasn’t it?”
Yoongi looked up. “Y/N–”
“Lee Han-jae? And Park Jihoon?”
Yoongi gave the smallest of nods, and your fist curled in your lap.
“Do you know why?”
“Y/N, please, don’t–”
“You promised, Yoongi.”
Meeting your gaze, Yoongi sighed. “Alright, I’ll tell you what you want to know.”
“Everything.”
So he did…
Na Doyun was a corrupt prosecutor who worked for the Lee’s, keeping them out of trouble as long as they paid her well enough. It was the perfect deal until some of the DA became suspicious of Doyun’s intentions and motivations, and she panicked, demanding more money, as well as a way for her to launder all the funds she was receiving.
The Lee’s had no choice but to comply since she had enough dirt on them to put them away for life, (as well as a supposed contingency plan that would expose them should they try anything to harm her), and so Han-jae developed a nightclub under his name and added Doyun as a majority shareholder, as well as a few others under his influence. It became one of the most popular nightclubs in all of Seoul and the perfect place for any illicit activity,
“The one that closed down months ago?” you asked, vaguely remembering. You were sure you'd followed more than a few unsuspecting victims of Yoongi’s from there on one of your errands for him..
“Yes. They have a few all over Seoul but none as big as that one. And you remember Taemin?”
“Lee’s son?”
“Yes.”
You barely saw Lee Taemin growing up. Though he was close in age to Jimin and you, his father had sent him to school in the United States. There were a few occasions where you were there together but unlike Jimin, he barely spared you more than a glance.
“Closing the club was intentional on their part. Han-jae wanted Taemin to replace it with something much bigger and better.”
“The Benitoite.”
Yoongi nodded. “A clever move on his part. The nightclub was becoming a hot spot and that was risky for them. After years of illegal trading, predatory lending and more, they had to find a way to get rid of any liabilities who used to frequent the club for their own gain, and with the Benitoite, they got the DA off their backs while attracting a whole new world, as well as another way to make their money clean again.” Looking up, Yoongi carried on. “Once that was done, Doyun had nothing left to hold over them.”
“They killed her?”
Another nod.
Your hand tightened around the fob. You couldn’t say you felt bad for the woman, she was corrupt after all and served men doing worse than herself, but it still didn’t make any of this easier to hear.
Yoongi sighed, his hand moving towards yours. “You okay?”
“Fine. Tell me.”
“When that nightclub before the Benitoite first opened, your dad wasn’t opposed to it so he never said anything. But, Jihoon or Han-jae weren’t just abiding by what Doyun wanted, they both saw an opportunity and wanted to run part of the nightclub as a secret brothel for invited guests only, those who would pay enough.”
Yoongi looked up apprehensively, but he saw your expression and continued.
“They knew anyone who knew of them, or had any kind of business with them, feared them, so they used that. If there was anyone who had done them wrong, or owed them money, they offered them a way out. Hundreds and millions worth of debt in exchange for years of service, and they didn’t care who it was.
“A mother, father, son, daughter, brother or sister. Any relation to the person who owed them was good enough and as you can imagine, none of the actual offenders offered themselves so it was all innocent family members being taken in. They would kidnap them and coerce them into working there doing whatever it was that needed to be done too. The whole thing was set up as a way for them to earn honest money to pay back whatever was owed.”
You looked up, repulsed. These are the men you once regarded as your uncles, seeing them as your dad’s friends you thought of them as family while growing up. It’s true that as you got older, you started to feel a certain way towards Jihoon because of how cold he was, especially with Jimin, but this was still beyond anything you would’ve expected of them.
“So that’s why they killed my dad?”
Yoongi shook his head. “Not exactly.” Pausing, he studied your expression for a few seconds before he leaned over the table to grasp your hand. After a gentle squeeze, he let go. “There was a lot happening around that time, I don’t know the details but the way Han-jae and Jihoon saw it, is that your dad became soft. When he first found out about the nightclub he was angry and threatened both of them.”
Your stomach curled.
“They wanted to appease him so they said they would reconsider.”
“But they didn’t.”
“No. And truthfully I don’t think your dad ever believed them anyway.”
It went quiet, the distant humming of car engines along a nearby busy road carried the sound of your thoughts as they ran endlessly.
Yoongi took another sip of his milk, watching you carefully. “Y/N,” he spoke softly. “I can tell you the rest another time.”
You looked across at home, taking a slow breath. You do feel like you’ve heard enough, but you need to know. “What more is there? They killed him after that, no?”
Traces of a grimace appeared on Yoongi’s face. “Not quite.” He paused, waiting.
Wordlessly, you nodded for him to continue.
“Did you know Han-jae was married twice?”
Nodding, you remembered his step-daughter, Jiyoung. She looked after you occasionally, but like Taemin, she wasn’t always there. “Yeah, his first wife passed away but Jiyoung was from her, right?”
“Not exactly, Jiyoung wasn’t Han-jae’s daughter.”
Now, this was news to you.
“And her mom wasn’t a huge fan of Han-jae, their marriage was arranged after her first husband died, and she had plenty of reasons to dislike the man and he felt the same, except she always threatened to expose him.”
The arranged marriage wasn’t a surprise to you, as it was common amongst many of your father’s affluent friends, including your own parents, but you hadn’t known that Han-jae’s first wife despised him.
“After she died, Jiyoung got older, she looked more like her mother, acted more like her, and Han-jae didn’t like her just as much as she didn’t like him, so… he saw an opportunity to get rid of her.”
Eyes widening, you asked, “The nightclub?”
Yoongi nodded, looking down. “But your dad saved her.”
Despite the warm evening breeze, you feel your skin go cold.
Yoongi continues. “He knew something was going on and he happened to be there the night she was being taken. He killed the men and took her away to a safe place, out of the country.”
And just like that, it all made sense. “So that’s why they killed him.”
Taking your hand again, Yoongi nodded silently. “It was a means to an end for them,” he murmured. “Han-jae and Jihoon had changed. They weren’t who your dad befriended and their morals and ambitions were far from the same.”
Yoongi’s words were said to comfort you, but they only fueled your anger… your dad’s closest friends, the men who he regarded as brothers, were the ones who killed him.
That conversation felt like a lifetime ago, and as you see Yoongi sitting in front of you now, you understand why he chose not to tell you, but you can’t help but feel a tiny bit betrayed.
“Still could’ve told me,” you mumble, looking away from him.
“Would it have made a difference to anything?” he asks, leaning forward with a playful smile.
Realising he’s right, you frown indignantly. “Might’ve stopped this,” you say, knowing it’s a weak point.
Yoongi’s expression darkens. Shaking his head slowly, he meets your gaze. “Nothing could’ve stopped this.”
Seojun is the first person that comes to your mind, and you feel your stomach coil.
Reaching to hold your leg over the covers, Yoongi says your name. “You need to tell me everything you know.”
Nodding, you push the mental image of Seojun out of your mind. “I don’t actually know much,” you start, “Seojun had been coming into the cafe around once a week and would talk to me, just small talk. He must’ve known who I was but I didn’t realise until the last time. He seemed worried about something and kept asking me about grandma, and when she called, he’d left and there was a note on the table.” Looking towards the night stand where your belongings are, you see the note you pocketed then, and the drive is there too. You take them both, handing the note to Yoongi. “This is what it said.”
Yoongi takes a few seconds to read the simple words, She’s the only family you have left. You should stay with her. Frowning, Yoongi lowers it to the bed. “He must’ve known, but I don’t know how.” Looking up, he asks, “you never told him anything about your grandma?”
“No,” you shake your head. “He just knew.” Thinking of this, you suddenly remember all those conversations you had with Seojun… he had a girlfriend. “Yoongi?” You meet his gaze with worried eyes. “He had a girlfriend.”
Yoongi’s expression softens, lips pursing. “Yeona. She knows. She lives here with us, she moved in with Seojun a year ago.”
Nodding your head slowly, you look away. You don’t bother asking how she’s doing, that would be a pointless question – you could tell how much Seojun loved her and from the stories he told you, you’re certain she loved him just as much, she must be heartbroken. The thought of it reminds you of the night your dad passed away… you’d never seen your mom in so much pain.
As your emotions begin to swirl heavily again, you look up at Yoongi. “Did he not say anything at all about what he’d been doing?”
Yoongi shakes his head. “We knew he was up to something, but Jimin told us to let him be.” Again, Yoongi’s expression looks pained.
“Why?”
“A few weeks back, Jimin had one of their clubs raided by the police on the same night they were receiving a weapons shipment and there’s since been a good few detectives on their case. Taemin’s uncle got some time in prison for it and even though he’s out, they still wanted to send a message to Jimin, a way to get back at him… so they killed Seojun’s mom.”
The words wound the knot in your stomach even tighter. “So Seojun wanted to get back at them?”
Nodding, Yoongi shakes his head. “Jimin warned him not to, he promised they’d work it out together and end things for once, but Seojun was angry. Once we figured out he was up to something, Jimin told us to leave him and once Seojun had a plan, we’d join in on it.” Releasing a shaky breath, Yoongi looks down. “We never got to find out what it was, and each week we’d see him less and less. Everyone here knows how to look after themselves, but now I wish we’d taken more care.”
Seojun was a friend to everyone here, Yoongi included, you realise. You know you ought to comfort him but you don’t think you know how. “I’m sorry, Yoongi,” you murmur.
He gives a small smile. “Finish telling me what happened.”
Sitting back into the cushions again, you recall the events from that night. “I left work as normal, came home and when I went upstairs, something felt off. So I went back down, and then I saw him in my kitchen, he was bleeding, barely conscious on the floor and I ran over to him. I tried to help him but he kept apologising, and then he gave me this.” Looking down, you hand the drive to Yoongi.
Confused, Yoongi turns it over in his hand. “Did he say what’s on it?”
“No,” you shake your head. “And it’s probably protected too since the Lee’s wanted it as well. But he told me to take it and find Jimin.” At this, Yoongi looks up and meets your gaze. “He kept saying he’d keep me safe and that I should leave him and go.”
“But you didn’t.”
“I couldn’t. He needed help, but it was too late. When I was about to get out, Minjun and some of his men came in. Seojun tried to help me but in the end…” you trail off, looking down. “In the end it was Minjun questioning me, asking me who I am. I lied, of course.” You finish telling Yoongi the rest of what happened, up until when Jimin and his men came in.
When you’re done, Yoongi is cursing under his breath. “Minjun was a fucking psychopath.”
“Yeah, he seems like it,.” You remember the way he laughed when Jimin was punching him.
“He has a brother, Kwan, he’s just as crazy, if not worse.”
The thought of it leaves you shuddering. Minjun was ruthless and you can’t imagine how much worse his brother is. You hope you never have to meet him, although luck hasn’t really been on your side recently.
“Hey,” Yoongi says quietly, moving from his seat to the bed. “You okay?”
“Mhm,” you nod.
He smiles softly. “Your wrist should be better in a few days, but your leg might take two or three weeks to heal well. I got you some crutches in case you wanna use them.”
“Thanks, I probably won’t use them though.”
“Yeah, I thought you’d say that.”
Smiling at him, you push the sheets back to look at your bound leg. “It’s not deep is it?”
Yoongi shakes his head. “You got lucky. Only an inch or so. Ah, also,” he looks up at you apologetically, “you’ll need to stay here for a while until your house gets fixed.”
“Oh.” You remember how the windows were smashed in as Minjun attacked, and you’re sure there’s more damage to the property that you’re not even aware of.
“Jimin is making all the arrangements,” Yoongi continues, “but he’s trying to keep things quiet so I don’t know exactly when things will be sorted.”
“He doesn’t have to, I can do it myself.”
“He wants to,” Yoongi responds. “He blames himself for what’s happened, so just let him please.” His words appear to carry more meaning, and you can’t imagine how he must feel after seeing Seojun dead. You still remember the look on his face when he saw the body.
“Why?”
“He blames himself for a lot of things,” Yoongi murmurs with a soft sigh. “This hasn’t helped.”
Even though it’s been years since you were close with Jimin, you still find yourself feeling a familiar twinge in your chest – ever since you’ve known him, Jimin has had to suffer so much hurt, you couldn’t even count on your hand the amount of times you saw him looking so defeated and terrified in front of his father. He seemed to prefer the company of Lee Han-jae over his own father, although you don’t know how much better Han-jae was as a father since his son, Taemin, was in America most of the time to study. All you know is how he treated Jiyoung.
Now, curiosity (or care) gets the better of you, and you ask, “What happened between them? Han-jae and Jihoon?”
Yoongi looks up, grimacing. “It started with money. Han-jae got greedy and wanted the Benitoite to be only his, but Jihoon insisted it belong to them both since the nightclub was half his effort, though he never really cared for the extra money, he just needed the front. Han-jae reluctantly agreed but it was clear he wasn’t happy.
“And then Jihoon found out that Han-jae planned on going behind his back and he got angry. Han-jae was drunk one night and started threatening Jihoon, which only made him more angry. But before he could do anything, Taemin stepped in and shot him.”
“Taemin?!” you ask, surprised..
Yoongi nods. “He knew of his dad's plan for the Benitoite and he wasn’t fond of Jihoon, so he did what he had to to protect his dad. But Jimin was there.” His expression darkens. “He watched his best friend shoot his dad, who was bleeding out in front of him. I’m so grateful we were with him that day…” He trails off, exhaling as he looks down.
He doesn’t need to say anymore for you to know what he means – Taemin was going to have Jimin killed too.
Your head lowers too. You don’t allow your thoughts to wonder what would’ve happened if Jimin had been alone, you’re just glad he got out. Though you can’t imagine what he must’ve felt given his relationship with Jihoon.
“Did he get to have a funeral for his dad?”
“Yeah,’ Yoongi answers. “Han-jae had just lost another one of his friends and the blood was on his hands, so he sent the body back to Jimin and tried to make amends, but Jimin wasn’t having it. He was already against everything they were doing and now that his dad had gone and he’d lost Taemin as a friend, he had no reason to keep ties with them.”
Leaning back into the cushions, you mull over everything he’s just said. For years, you stayed away from these families who were such a big part of your life growing up, and now you learn that they’ve fallen apart as well.
After a moment, Yoongi speaks again. “I was surprised when they brought you in.” You look up at him as he continues. “I thought he might’ve recognised you, but he said nothing.”
“Do you think he does?” you ask, remembering the look on his face when he first saw you. “But he’s just not saying it?”
Yoongi shrugs. “Might be. If he does remember you though, he’ll say something.”
“Are you going to tell them?” you ask, looking at him.
“Only if you want me to.”
After a few quiet seconds, you shake your head. “At least not yet.”
Yoongi nods and it goes quiet again. You close your eyes, leaning against the headboard as you think back on everything that’s happened, and then it comes to you.
“Dani and Siho,” you say, opening your eyes again as a heavy weight settles on your chest. “Did you get them out?”
Solemnly, Yoongi nods. “I sent them back to their families and have offered to make all the necessary arrangements for anything else they need.”
“Thank you,” you murmur. “Let me know what they say, I’ll sort it out for them..”
Yoongi nods again, pursing his lips as this time he reaches forward to take your hand and comfort you. “They knew the risks, Y/N, better than anyone else.”
“I know,” you sigh. “But it’s different, they were there because of me.”
“Yeah, but they made that choice, they wanted to fight for you,” Yoongi says, shifting on the bed. When you look at him, he winces slightly. “Sorry if this isn’t helping, you know I’m shit at comforting people.”
You smile. “I know.”
“Hey, you’re not any better though,” he says defensively, “you didn’t even hug me properly when my mom passed away.”
“What?” you chuckle. “I tried to, but I know you don’t like hugs.”
Yoongi shrugs. “Not normally, but then I would've liked it.”
“Oh…” Now you feel bad. “Really?”
He nods, only looking up at you when you fail to respond. Seeing your face, he smiles. “It’s okay though, I got lots of hugs from the guys here.”
Scoffing, you absentmindedly pull the covers over your legs again, feeling cold from the aircon. “Yeah, you’re telling me Park Jimin was giving out hugs?” It comes out sarcastically and without much thought.
“Yes, actually,” Yoongi answers simply.
Pausing, you realise what you said and his response. You don’t know why you feel surprised when the Jimin you knew was nothing but caring and considerate towards others, oftentimes more than he was towards himself.
As though he can read your mind, Yoongi smiles. “Surprised?”
“Kind of.”
“You knew him though,” he says, as though that makes it so obvious.
“Knew,” you repeat. “I didn’t expect him to still be the same.”
Yoongi hums in agreement. “I wouldn’t say he’s changed, but I wouldn't exactly say he’s the same either…” looking up, he smiles again. “I guess you’ll get to see for yourself now.”
“I guess so,” you say, reaching for an apple from the bowl beside you. Seeing Jimin again has been weird, but you can’t ignore the part of you that is ready to welcome a part of your old life back, someone familiar, someone you liked very much. Like Yoongi said though, you’ll get to see for yourself if he’s anything like you remember him. Although you were both younger then, you don’t think he would’ve changed much from what Yoongi has told you so far.
“D’you want something a bit more filling than that?” Yoongi asks, nodding to the apple you’ve just bitten into. “Dinner is just about to be served so you can come down to eat or I can bring it up for you?”
“Oh, yeah, actually,” you answer, hearing your stomach growl after receiving a tiny morsel of food. “I am quite hungry, so I think I'll come down.”
“Sure,” Yoongi chuckles, “you must be hungry, you’ve been sleeping for almost three days.”
You look up at him with wide eyes. “Three days?!” When he nods, you immediately reach for your phone. “I need to call Moni, she’s probably wo–”
“I already have,” Yoongi says, interrupting you quietly.
Fingers freezing over her name, you look up at Yoongi. “What?”
“I already called her.”
A frown settles on your face. “What did you say?”
Yoongi has always been aware of your wish to keep everything hidden from your grandma, so he hesitates now, knowing this would be your response when he told you he called her. “Everything, but Y/N, she needed to know.”
“That wasn’t your decision to make.”
“I know,” Yoongi sighs. “Sorry.”
For a moment, it goes quiet and you lower your phone to the covers. Yoongi is right, she did need to know about this, and it’s not like she’s a stranger to this kind of stuff. Besides, what happened wasn’t related to any of the stuff you’ve been doing for Yoongi, which is what you always wanted to keep from her, and what’s happening now does seem to involve you, and therefore her.
“Sorry,” you say. “You’re right, I just didn’t…” you sigh, trailing off as you think about how worried she must be. Your grandma is a strong woman and you’re everything to her, just as she has been yours.
“I know,” Yoongi says, understanding what you mean without you saying it; he knows your grandma well enough too.
“What did she say?”
“First, she just wanted to know if you were safe,” Yoongi answers. “After that, she didn’t say much except that she’ll come as soon as she can.”
You nod. Knowing she’s coming brings a smile to your face, you’ve missed her a lot. Before you can respond, your stomach growls again.
“Come on,” Yoongi says smiling, getting up and pushing the covers back, “let’s get you some food.”
“You still remember it?” Yoongi asks, a tone of surprise in his voice.
Taking another step, you shrug. “I wasn’t that little when I was last here, I must’ve been, what, eleven? Twelve?”
“Hm, Yoongi hums. “Still impressive.” He keeps a hand hovering around you should you need him, but you’re doing just fine, walking slowly down the hall you recognise as being the third floor.
The Park Estate isn’t much different from what you remember. The estate sprawled across acres, is a masterfully designed blend of elegance and practicality. The entrance opens to a grand foyer, splitting into two distinct wings. The East Wing houses the biggest office which used to belong to Jihoon, and now you assume it would be Jimin’s. It’s flanked by a suite of offices, all of which are bathed in polished woods and leather tones, belonging to his closest men. The West Wing, larger and more personal, feels more like a home. It rises three floors (taking the space above the East Wing) to accommodate the family’s quarter’s on the top most floor, a lounge and other rooms on the second, and downstairs is a dining room, a sleek kitchen caters to formal gatherings and another lounge.
Yoongi points out his room as you pass it, as well as naming some of the other guys whose names you try to pay attention to as you ignore the mild pain that spreads through your leg.
As you approach the stairwell, you notice another dimly lit corridor leading off the main hallway. You can’t see anything down the corridor as you pass, only a wall with light coming from the left and you assume it continues on.
“Jimin’s room is down there,” he says, answering your unspoken question.
“Ah,” you nod, carrying on. It makes sense for his room to be separate from the rest.
The second floor has a few extra guest bedrooms which are rarely used, and a private lounge which is different to what you remember, with a huge balcony that overlooks the gardens and the furniture has changed from mostly dark colours to a much warmer colour palette.
Downstairs, the split between the East Wing, and the West Wing is much more noticeable. The entrance to the West Wing from the grand foyer is always guarded and behind is a much more private hallway with more guards at the end for extra security, and the only way to go upstairs is from the two staircases within the West Wing. The staircase you’re approaching now takes you downstairs where the kitchen is.
As you approach the stairwell, you freeze, your eyes landing on a painting hung up on the wall at the far end of the hall. Yoongi says your name as you begin to walk towards it, but you don’t respond as an old memory suddenly returns to your mind, from the night your father was murdered.
“Lightning… is it a storm?” you asked, standing next to your dad in front of the easel.
“Yes,” he said, ruffling your hair with his elbow as his hands were smudged with paint.
“What does it mean?”
“Sometimes it can mean power,” he answered, turning back to the canvas in front of him. “But sometimes it can also mean punishment.”
You looked up, frowning.
He smiled. “Sometimes, too much power isn’t a good thing. If you’re not a good person, then it can be dangerous.”
“Oh…” You looked back at the canvas, admiring the deep shades of blue and black and grey he’d used to paint the night sky. In the centre, a spear of light struck the violent waves of the sea below. “Who is it for?” you asked.
Your dad’s smile disappeared as he looked back at the canvas. “An old friend.”
The painting is just as vivid as you remember, and seeing it now brings tears to your eyes as you feel a bout of nostalgia.
“My dad painted this,” you say quietly as Yoongi joins you in front of the huge canvas.
He doesn’t say anything, but instead looks up at the painting, admiring it in its entirety as though he’s never seen it before. “It’s beautiful.”
Nodding, you blink a few times to get rid of the stinging sensation in your eyes.. You realise now that Park Jihoon was the old friend your dad mentioned; realising he called him an ‘old friend’, you know your father must’ve known in those months leading up to his death that he couldn’t trust Han-jae and Jihoon.
Just then, Yoongi’s phone vibrates in his pocket. Reading a text, he quickly excuses himself. “Come down if you can, or I’ll ask someone to come up,” he calls out as he’s already walking off towards the stairwell.
“Okay,” you answer absentmindedly, still looking at the painting.
It’s not often you allow yourself to dwell on the past, but it’s also not often that you find yourself face to face with things that remind you so much of the past. There’s a reason your grandma decided to leave Seoul all those years ago and it’s a decision you agreed with. Even when you moved back to Seoul, you knew you couldn’t return to your old home, not when all you had there was fond memories of a life that was so unfamiliar to you now. But now, standing in front of your father’s own hand painted work, a flood of memories return and you find it harder to fight the lump that settles stubbornly in your throat.
You don’t realise you’re standing there for long until you hear someone approaching behind you. Turning around, you recognise the man approaching you as one of the ones who were with Jimin that night at your home. He smiles as he comes to a stop beside you.
“Admiring the art?” he asks.
“Mhm,” you hum, still watching his face – you didn’t realise then but now you see just how handsome he is, you feel like you can’t stop staring.
He chuckles, glancing at the painting. “You know I was talking about the painting, not me?”
Shaking out of your daze, you smile. “Yes, sorry. I just recognised you from the other night.”
“Ah, yeah, sorry we had to meet in such a way,” he nods, still smiling. “I’m Seokjin, but call me Jin.” He extends his hand which you shake.
“Y/N, and it’s okay, not your fault.”
“How’s the wrist?” he asks, pointing to your wrist.
“Oh, it’s okay,” you answer, lifting your arm for him to see. You can still move your fingers fine, just the occasional stretch or twist of your wrist hurts.
“Good. And the leg?”
“It’s mostly fine,” you nod.
He smiles again. “That’s good. Your wrist will heal fast, the leg might take a few weeks but it’s looking good so far. I didn’t expect you to be up so soon though,” he adds, raising a brow as though impressed.
You shrug.
“I take it this isn’t your first time getting hurt like this?” Seokjin says casually.
“What makes you think that?”
“You didn’t flinch that night, when we all aimed our guns at you. And the way you handled your own gun…” he shakes his head, smiling. “It definitely wasn’t your first time, and no normal person would point their gun at a mafioso at that.”
Chuckling, you turn back towards the painting again. “I guess I like getting shot at.”
“Just like everyone else here,” he laughs. “Well, you must be hungry, Yoongi asked me to walk down with you.”
“Sure,” you nod, turning away from the painting. You can return to it later. “So what about you?” you ask Seokjin as you approach the stairwell.
He watches carefully as you descend the first few steps. “What about me?”
“This definitely isn’t your first time stitching someone up,” you remark.
“Ah,” he nods. “Definitely not.”
You have to pause, reaching out for the banister to continue on. “So you’re a doctor?”
He snorts, stepping along beside you. “No, but I should be. I’ve done this kind of stuff enough times.”
Smiling, you know his statement is true enough. Injuries like yours must be a regular occurrence in the Park household. Stepping onto the landing, you take a breather and sit on the bottom step for a moment before you continue on. At the same time, you hear hurried footsteps running towards you and Seokjin.
“Jin hyung!” A bubbly voice sounds from down the corridor. You look towards the source and see two men who you recognise from that night – the man bun guy and the slender brown haired one behind him. They can’t see you sitting on the bottom step but as they get closer, Jin nods in your direction, turning their attention to you.
They both smile warmly when they see you, bowing their heads.
“Oh, miss L/N,” the first one comes forward, extending a hand. “I’m Jungkook, nice to meet you.” He has an adorable bunny smile and you can’t help but return it with one of your own.
“Nice to meet you Jungkook,” you reply, shaking his hand. “And you can call me Y/N.”
“Y/N, got it,” he nods, taking a step back so his other friend can greet you properly.
“Hi, Y/N, I’m Hoseok, Hobi for short,” he grins, shaking your hand.
“Hey.” You return his handshake, feeling slightly taken aback by how relaxed these guys are compared to their stoic looks from when you first saw them. Jungkook looks like a bunny rabbit in human form, and Hoseok beams like a ray of sunshine.
“How are you feeling?” Hoseok asks, motioning towards your leg.
“Um, it’s okay,” you smile. “I can still walk at least.”
He smiles with you, helping you as you start to get up. “Will you be joining us for dinner?”
You hum in response, allowing Seokjin to continue walking beside you as Jungkook walks ahead, leading you to the extensive lounge.
Distractedly, you look around the familiar room. The coffee table you’re sitting at is still the same as it was when you used to have extra helpings of dessert with Jimin, secretly given to you by the housemaid who had a soft spot for Jimin. Being here reminds you so much of your father too, and knowing how much of a huge part of his life this family was makes you miss him dearly.
Before any of the guys notice you’re not tuned into the conversation, you return your attention to what they’re saying. It hasn’t escaped you that none of them have said anything about your identity, and you reckon it must be because Jimin hasn’t recognised you – if he did, surely he would’ve told these guys since they were there too. You’re not sure if they know anything at all about you – perhaps you should’ve asked Yoongi about that before you came down.
Whether they know anything or not though, they keep the conversation away from anything that would involve you from sharing too much, and you realise now, how their warm smiles and easy conversation is a stark contrast to the tense memory you have of first meeting them the other day. However, there’s some missing.
“Are there more of you?”
Jin, in the middle of swallowing a big sip of water, nods and hums.
Hoseok answers for him. “There’s Yoongi, who you saw already, and Taehyung, Namjoon and Jimin.”
“They were there the other day,” Jungkook says, his tone dimming slightly.
“Namjoon and Taehyung will be joining us,” Jin adds, ignoring the last comment and keeping up his chipper attitude. “We always eat together whenever we can and they’re about somewhere.”
It doesn’t escape you that he didn’t mention Jimin’s name though.
“Taehyung is probably in the wine cellar,” Hoseok says.
“Ah, yes, Taehyung loves to pick out the wine for dinner.”
Jungkook snorts. “He thinks he’s a sommelier.”
You smile. “Well, does he make a good choice?”
“I can never tell,” Jungkook shrugs.
Hoseok jerks a thumb in his direction. “He’s not matured enough.”
“Hey!” Jungkook starts, but is interrupted by Jin, glancing toward the doorway.
“Ah, speak of the devil!”
You look up and see two more men entering. One has dark curls and sharp features, his posture relaxed but his gaze calculating as it sweeps over the room. The other one has dark grey hair and broad shoulders, wearing glasses that give him a sophisticated air. You recognise both of them from the other day.
“Yoongi said you’d come down,” the man with dark curls remarks as he approaches. His tone is calm, and a slight smile plays on his lips. “I’m Taehyung. Nice to meet you, Y/N.”
“Hi, Taehyung,” you reply, shaking his hand. His grip is firm but not overbearing. He’s undeniably striking, and there’s something about his presence that feels both inviting and enigmatic.
The broad man steps closer, adjusting his glasses as he nods at you. “I’m Namjoon. I handle most of the boring work around here.” His smile is disarming, and his voice carries a hint of dry humour. “Finances, logistics, making sure this place doesn’t fall apart.”
“Nice to meet you, Namjoon,” you say, shaking his hand. His words make you curious about just how much he handles behind the scenes.
Namjoon takes a seat in the armchair across from you and sinks into it comfortably. “How are you? I imagine this isn’t how you thought your day would go.”
You smile wryly, keeping your responses guarded. “Not exactly, no.”
Taehyung sits down next to Jungkook and returns his attention to you immediately. “Yeah, you put up quite the fight. Most people would’ve frozen in your position.”
“Not the first time I’ve had to defend myself,” you reply simply, not offering much else.
There’s a beat of silence as they all exchange glances, clearly intrigued but not pressing further. You appreciate the lack of prying.
“So,” Hoseok pipes up with an ever-cheerful tone. “Yoongi mentioned you might like spicy food. We had the chef prepare something special just in case.”
“Spicy works for me,” you say, grateful for the change in subject.
Jungkook claps his hands together. “Great! That makes two of us. The food here is amazing – you’ll love it.”
As the conversation shifts to lighter topics, you glance around the room again. The faces around the table are new, but the setting is steeped in nostalgia. Flashes of your childhood in this house flit through your mind – running down these halls, playing games late into the night, and the quiet presence of your father when he was here.
You force yourself to focus, tuning back into the conversation just as Seokjin asks, “So, Y/N, what’s your impression of the estate so far?”
“It’s... different,” you reply honestly, but keep your tone light. “Bigger than I remember.”
Seokjin tilts his head. “You’ve been here before?”
You curse yourself for slipping up but recover quickly. “Not this one exactly. Just a similar setup.”
Namjoon raises a brow but doesn’t say anything else, and you’re thankful for the reprieve.
The door from the far end of the room opens, and an older woman with an apron tied around her waist steps in, carrying a pitcher of water. Her hair is neatly pinned back, and her face is composed but kind. You immediately recognize her – Ara, one of the housemaids from your childhood.
Your eyes meet for a brief moment, and something flickers in her expression. She knows who you are. You’re certain of it. But to your surprise, she doesn’t say a word. Instead, she places the pitcher on the coffee table and begins pouring water into the glasses.
“Thanks, Ara,” Jungkook says warmly, and she nods with a small smile.
When she reaches you, she hesitates ever so slightly before pouring the water, her gaze lingering on you. You hold her gaze for a beat, searching her face for any sign that she might say something, but she doesn’t. Instead, she finishes and steps back, her expression carefully neutral.
“If you need anything, let me know,” Ara says softly, glancing at the rest of the table before leaving the room.
Namjoon watches her leave, then turns back to you with a faint smile. “She’s been here for a long time. Reliable, like everyone else here.”
You nod, trying to mask the unease and nostalgia that her presence has stirred up.
On the opposite side of the room, Yoongi comes in from the corridor you came through. With a smile at you, he then nods at everyone. “Dinner’s ready. Let’s eat before Jungkook inhales the entire table.”
Jungkook laughs, not bothering to deny the accusation. Everyone rises from their seats, and Yoongi gestures for you to follow them to the adjoining dining room.
"Taeheyung, did you choose a bottle for dinner then?" Hoseok asks.
"Of course. It’s spicy food so I brought up a Riesling."
"Nice one," Yoongi murmurs in approval.
"I want a beer," Jungkook says, with no regards to Taehyung's expression.
"More for us then."
As you walk, Namjoon falls into step beside you. “You’ll find this place can be both a refuge and a maze,” he says softly. “It’s easy to get lost, but it has its charms.”
You glance at him, wondering if there’s a deeper meaning to his words. “I’ll try not to get lost, then.”
He smiles faintly. “If you do, just call out. Someone will find you.”
Returning the smile, you find that any uneasiness you'd been feeling, begins to dissipate. It’s clear these men, while different in personality, share a bond that goes beyond mere loyalty to Jimin. You can see why they’ve been by his side for so long – they feel like a family in their own right.
Once everyone is seated at the table, conversation flows more freely and the atmosphere is surprisingly warm. Jin sits at one end of the table, serving himself a generous helping of the roasted chicken and rice dish.
“Jin-hyung, don’t hog all the drumsticks,” Jungkook whines as he watches Jin’s plate pile up.
“Then grab faster,” Jin quips with a smirk, not slowing his pace.
Taehyung leans back with an amused grin, observing the chaos. “I’m telling you, Jungkook, he does this every time. You should know better by now.”
“Should I?” Jungkook huffs dramatically. “Maybe next time I’ll just take the whole plate first.”
“Do it, and I’ll poison your portion,” Jin deadpans, but with a twinkle in his eye.
Hoseok chuckles as he passes you the salad bowl. “Don’t worry, Y/N. They act like this every meal. You get used to it.”
You smile faintly, watching them banter. It’s strange to see these men, who just days ago were all sharp glares and deadly precision, behaving like siblings teasing each other.
“Y/N,” Taehyung’s deep voice pulls you out of your thoughts. “Do you always eat so quietly? Or are you just plotting something?”
You blink at him, caught off guard. His face is serious, but his lips twitch with suppressed amusement.
“Maybe I’m just afraid to get between Jin and his drumsticks,” you reply lightly.
Laughter ripples around the table, and Taehyung raises his glass in salute. “Smart answer.”
Jungkook grins at you between bites of food. “Yeah, but next time, you should at least try to grab a piece before Jin wipes out the whole plate.”
“I heard that,” Jin retorts, mock-offended. “I’m ensuring quality control.”
“You’re ensuring there’s nothing left for the rest of us,” Hoseok counters, sipping his water.
As the banter continues, you allow yourself to relax a little. It’s a stark contrast to what you expected when you first woke up in the Park estate.
“By the way, hyung,” Namjoon says, turning to Jin. “Have you checked the medical inventory reports? They were due yesterday.”
“Oh, are we doing shop talk at the table now?” Jin sighs dramatically. “Can’t a guy just eat in peace?”
“It’s your own fault for procrastinating,” Namjoon replies smoothly, adjusting his glasses.
“Don’t drag me into your world of schedules,” Jin retorts. “I’m a free spirit.”
“You’re just lazy,” Jungkook interjects, earning a flick of a bread roll from Jin.
“Enough guys,” Hoseok says, raising his hands in mock exasperation.
Namjoon’s phone buzzes on the table, followed immediately by Hoseok’s. They both glance at their screens, and their smiles fade slightly. Exchanging a look, they nod in unison before standing up.
“Sorry, something’s come up,” Namjoon says, sliding his phone into his pocket. “We’ll catch up later.”
“Don’t eat all the dessert without us,” Hoseok adds with a wink as they head out.
“Like we’d wait for you,” Jin calls after them before turning his attention back to the table.
“Do they always leave like that?” you ask, genuinely curious.
“Pretty much,” Taehyung replies, leaning back in his chair. “They’ve got the busiest jobs out of all of us. It’s a miracle they even sit down for meals sometimes.”
“Or they just like to be mysterious,” Jin adds, rolling his eyes. “Half the time, it’s probably nothing.”
You smile, but you feel the weight behind it all. These men might act carefree, but there’s no denying the underlying layers to their lives.
After a while, another two housemaids quietly enter to clear some of the empty dishes.
“You okay?” Taehyung asks, drawing your attention back to the table. “You’ve been pretty quiet.”
You nod, brushing it off. “Just tired, I guess.”
“Understandable,” Jin says, rising from his seat. “You should rest. Recovering from an injury takes time.”
The others murmur in agreement as they begin to disperse, leaving you with a mix of gratitude and uncertainty. The warmth of their camaraderie is undeniable, but beneath it all, you can’t shake the feeling of what’s happened, and what is undoubtedly yet to come.
Only Yoongi remains at the table. He sits across from you and smiles. “It’s bringing back memories, huh?” He asks, seeing right through you.
“Yep.” You look around. “Loads. I don’t know how this might sound, but it feels like I missed it.” You look across at Yoongi, expecting to see a puzzled expression but he just smiles.
“I think it’s normal. You were young when you came here and I don’t think you have many bad memories associated with the place. Only good ones, right?”
He’s right. Back then, coming here usually meant evenings filled with laughter, hiding in closets with Jimin, and Jiyoung’s occasional teasing if she was here. Your dad was still alive, and this house, in a strange way, felt like an extension of home. Now, it’s like walking through a memory you can’t decide if you’re grateful for or aching to forget.
You smile softly at Yoongi and nod, letting the silence stretch as you stand. He doesn’t press you further, only watching as you cross the room to the wide, cushioned window seat at the far end. The large pane of glass offered a view of the front of the house. Settling into the seat, you lean against the frame, your gaze drifting outward.
Outside, the estate is alive with movement. Men are stationed around the house, their presence a constant reminder of the life you’re now steeped in. From the East Wing, you spot four men climbing into a sleek black Escalade. Then your attention shifts to the house’s front steps, where Namjoon and Hoseok emerge, walking with purpose.
Behind them, another figure appears and you recognise him instantly.
Jimin, dressed sharply from head to toe, walks across the front drive. He pauses briefly in front of his Porsche, glancing back toward Hoseok, who says something you couldn’t hear. A moment later, Hoseok and Jin climb into the car, and Jimin gets into the driver’s seat. The engine roars softly to life, and within moments, his Porsche is gliding down the private lane, the Escalade following closely behind.
Your gaze lingers on the lane until the cars disappear into the distance. Though you can’t see the estate’s gate from here, you can picture it clearly in your mind – a familiar marker from years ago.
“Where are they going?” you ask without turning, your voice quiet but curious.
“Something’s wrong with one of the shipments we received from the Takahashis. They’ve been a bit of a pain these past few months. Jimin reckons they’re now involved with the Lees and are trying to keep us distracted.”
You hum in response, saying nothing more, but your eyes stay fixed on the far-off trees that bordered the estate. Centred in front of the west wing, a fountain catches your attention, its centrepiece intricate and elegant. It reminds you of the one in Jimin’s mother’s garden and absently, you wonder if that fountain was still there.
As you shift, a sharp pang shoots through your leg, where the knife wound throbs dully. Your wrist isn’t much better, but the pain in your leg is what makes you wince audibly.
Yoongi notices immediately, his gaze darting toward you. “I think you’re due for your meds again.”
You exhale softly, nodding. “Yeah, I think so.”
“You wanna stay here or go back up?”
You push yourself to stand, biting back a groan as the strain makes your voice tight. “Mm, I know I slept for days, but I’m actually still exhausted.”
Yoongi chuckles, rising to help steady you. “That’s to be expected. Don’t worry.” He gestures toward the far end of the room. “We’ll go up, but this time we’re taking the lift.”
You can’t help but smile faintly at his consideration. “Appreciate that,” you murmur as he slides a steadying arm under yours.
The dim light of the ensuite glows behind you as you step into the bedroom, a towel draped over your head. You had just woken up after another long nap, your internal clock utterly thrown off by the days of rest. It's late now, just past midnight and the night is quiet, broken only by the faint rustle of fabric and the soft padding of your feet on the carpet.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, you absentmindedly rub the towel through your damp hair.
Your gaze drifts to the shelves by the dresser table, now stocked with an array of skin and hair care products. A small smile tugs at your lips as you stand to examine them, fingers lightly trailing over the meticulously arranged items. Appreciatively, you sit and carry out a full skin and hair care routine – after three days without it, you definitely need it. You wonder if it was Ara who must have put them here. You're certain she recognised you at dinner and when you think about it now, you think it would be nice to speak with someone familiar.
Your thoughts are interrupted by the buzz of your phone on the bed. Turning, you see the screen light up with an incoming FaceTime call. The name on the screen sends a swell of emotion through you.
“Moni?” you answer, settling back on the bed as your grandmother’s face appeared.
The sight of her brings a pang of guilt and relief all at once. Her tired eyes search your face and you can tell she must have been worrying nonstop. “Y/N,” she says softly, her voice warm. “How are you?”
“I’m fine,” you reassure her quickly, though your heart aches knowing she must have been so anxious. “Really.”
She gives you a sharp look, the kind only she can manage, and her tone turns brisk. “Good. Stay safe there, you hear me? We're figuring out what's going on and Yoongi will tell you more when he can."
You nod, knowing better than to argue. Her expression softened just a little as she continued. “Tell me about Jimin.”
“He hasn’t said anything.”
“About recognizing you?” she asks, her brow lifting slightly.
You nod. “Nothing.”
She sighs, a mixture of fondness and exasperation crossing her features. “I don’t imagine he would. But I have no doubt he does. You haven’t changed much. He, however... he’s different.”
Her words hang in the air, and you find yourself looking up, your thoughts turning to Jimin.
“Life hasn’t been kind to him,” she continues, her voice tinged with melancholy. “When I last saw him, I didn’t see the same little boy I knew.”
A bittersweet smile crosses your lips. “Life hasn’t been kind to any of us.”
Your grandmother purses her lips, acknowledging the truth of your words. “Do you remember his father?”
“Of course I do,” you say without hesitation. “It’s hard to forget a man as cold as him.”
“And Mr. Lee?” she asks, her tone cautious.
You nod, already anticipating where this was headed. “I know, Moni,” you say quietly, cutting her off.
She looks up at you, her expression briefly surprised, but it fades just as quickly. "Of course, I should have expected you would piece it together."
“I know it was them,” you say, the words tasting bitter on your tongue. “They did it. They killed Dad.”
She lets out a slow breath, her gaze steady on yours. “They were his best friends,” she says softly. “And then, all of a sudden…” She trails off.
You nod. You can only imagine that the sting of betrayal is still fresh even after all these years. Your grandmother's gaze remains on you, sharp and searching. “You’re there now, though… so, do you trust Jimin?”
You pause, memories of the night at your house flashing through your mind -- seeing Jimin in your kitchen with your gun aimed at him and he didn't retaliate in the slightest.
“I didn’t, at first,” you admit. “But I think I do. Besides, I trust Yoongi, and Yoongi trusts him."
She exhales slowly, relief evident on her face and a small smilw touches her lips. “You’re safe there, Y/N.”
You tilt your head slightly, meeting her gaze. “You trust Jimin?”
“I do,” she says without hesitation. “I trust him with you, and you’re my everything.”
The words wrap around your heart, and you wish you could reach through the screen to hug her. Instead, you nod and smile.
“You need to rest,” she instructs, her tone turning firm again. “I’ll call you later. Baek-hyun and I might come to see you. I think he wanted to see Yoongi too.”
Your lips quirk up at the thought. “That would be nice.”
"Good," she nods, and you eventually exchange goodbyes.
As the screen goes dark, you set the phone down, feeling a renewed sense of comfort. The thought of her visiting makes you smile softly as you sit in the quiet of the room.
Still restless though, you wander to the window, gazing out at the sprawling grounds bathed in the moonlight. You spot three men stationed at the back of the house, conversing together as they keep watch. The gardens stretch endlessly, just as you remembered. You can’t see the part of the grounds where Jimin’s mother’s garden would have been as it's hidden beyond the trees, but it would be nice to visit it tomorrow when the light returned.
As you shift, you feel your leg still aches, but it's different this time, more like the dull stiffness of inactivity than pain. Restless energy courses through you, and you decide a walk would do you good. The house is big enough and you need to keep your legs moving.
Stepping out of your room, you close the door quietly behind yourself and hear the faint hum of distant voices and sounds that tells you that not everyone is asleep yet.
As you move through the corridors, memories of Jimin filtered into your mind -- moments you hadn’t thought of in years now rising to the surface with startling clarity and they give you a strange sense of familiarity.
Eventually, your wandering brings you to your dad's painting again. You stop in front of it, the vivid strokes of lightning and sea send a wave of nostalgia over you, gratitude mingling with sadness. You remember you have a few of your father's paintings hanging up at home too and you make a mental note to ensure they're safely retrieved.
“Can’t you sleep, little bear?”
The voice, familiar and gentle, pulls you from your reverie. You turn to see Jimin standing a few feet away.
Dressed casually now, his white shirt unbuttoned at the top and his sleeves rolled up, he looks markedly different from the composed figure you saw earlier. There’s a softness to him now, something that reminds you of the boy you once knew. His smile, small and tentative, feels as though it might disappear if the silence breaks too loudly.
You smile back, and the corners of his lips lift a little more.
Realising what he just said, his words stop you short – it’s the name of the book you gave to him the first time you met him, so many years ago.
Jimin steps closer, the lamp’s dim light casting soft shadows on his features. As he nears, the subtle scent of his cologne reaches you – a delicate blend of cedarwood and something faintly sweet, familiar yet grounding. It lingers in the air between you, quietly drawing your attention to his presence. Despite the weariness evident in his eyes, there’s a steadiness about him, a calmness that feels both reassuring and disarming.
“Y/N,” he says, your name leaving his lips quietly, as though testing how it feels after all these years. “Did you think I wouldn’t recognise you?”
“I wasn’t counting on it,” you admit, your voice soft. “I’m surprised you remember the book.”
Jimin’s smile grows, faint but genuine. “How could I not? I never got to thank you for it properly.”
“Thank me?” you ask, tilting your head slightly.
He nods, shifting as if the memory is a tender one. “It was a comfort to me for a long time. I wasn’t allowed picture books of my own, so… thank you.”
You remember then how he once told you about his father’s strict rules. A cold man, his father likely saw no value in picture books – if they didn’t teach something useful, they weren’t worth having.
“You’re welcome,” you say softly.
Jimin’s gaze lingers on your face, and you feel a warmth creeping into your cheeks. Turning back to the painting, you focus on the familiar strokes of your father’s work.
“He was talented,” Jimin says quietly, standing beside you.
You smile faintly. “He was.”
After a moment, he adds, “I can have it moved to your room, if you like.”
You shake your head. “No, no. It’s okay. This is where it belongs.”
Jimin laughs softly, the sound low and soothing. “It’s actually covering up a stain we couldn’t remove. You might remember it since it was you who put it there.”
“Me?” you ask, eyebrows rising in surprise as you look at him.
He nods, a playful glint in his eyes. “Yep. One of the nights our fathers were away, and you had to stay over. Jiyoung was babysitting us, and we were painting. When it was time for bed, you didn’t want to sleep, so you ran away from her – with all the paints.”
As he speaks, the memory surfaces, vivid and sheepishly embarrassing. “Oh gosh, I remember. I tripped, and the paint went everywhere.”
Jimin smiles wider now, clearly suppressing a laugh. “We tried to paint over it a few times, but the colours were too bright. Eventually, my dad decided to put this up.”
You shake your head, laughing softly, though you still feel a twinge of embarrassment. “I can’t believe that’s still here.”
Jimin’s smile lingers, and the space between you feels quieter, weighted by an unspoken familiarity. His eyes flicker back to the painting, then to you. “It’s been a long time since then,” he says, his voice gentle, almost reflective.
You glance at him, catching the subtle shift in his tone, something deeper beneath the surface. “Yes,” you reply, turning your gaze back to the painting. “Though being here again… it almost feels like no time at all.”
Jimin studies you for a moment, his expression softening. “I imagine it feels different,” he says, “without your father?”
“Exactly,” you answer, the memory stirring a pang of longing. “It felt safe wherever he was.”
“And now?” His question is soft, careful, as though he’s weighing each word before speaking.
You hesitate before answering, meeting his gaze. “I want to say yes,” you admit honestly, “but experience tells me not to feel safe anywhere.”
Jimin nods, his expression contemplative, and something about his calm presence makes your honesty feel less vulnerable. “You’ve learned not to trust anyone,” he say, his voice carrying a quiet understanding.
You look at him, searching his face, but his steady gaze gives nothing away except an openness that feels disarming. “You’re right to think that,” he continues, his tone neither judgmental nor apologetic, as if he understands the walls you’ve built all too well.
The words sit between you for a moment before you ask, carefully, “Can I trust you?”
His eyes meet yours, and for a moment, silence fills the space between you.
“Yes,” he says, his voice quiet but certain. “But you’ll make that decision on your own.”
You nod slowly, his answer settling something inside you. There’s no urgency in his response, just a quiet assurance that feels like a small but solid anchor. It’s not a promise – it’s an invitation.
“Until then,” he continues, his voice softening, “please, make yourself at home. You’re safe here.”
The sincerity in his words lingers, and while they aren’t a guarantee, they feel real.
Jimin doesn’t say anything else, but you catch the way he watches you, something unspoken but soft in his expression. You feel it yourself too – after so many years there is so much to say, to ask, but for now you take the peaceful quiet for what it is.
His presence feels closer now and you let out a faint smile, glancing back at the painting.
It occurs to you now, how strange it is, that this time, there is something familiar that Jimin’s presence stirs in you – a reminder of what it feels like to trust, even if only a little.
note. thank you all so much for reading! please don’t be a silent reader :’) this fic takes me forever to write and I’d love for you to share your thoughts w me -- i really wanna know what you guys think! and rb toooo <3333
#jimin x reader#pjm#park jimin#park jimin x reader#jimin fanfic#jimin series#bts series#bts fanfiction#bts imagines#jimin imagines#jimin fluff#jimin angst#jimin smut#jimin x you#jimin x y/n#bts mafia#park jimin x you#jimin masterlist#bts masterlist
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HAUNTED
Chapter 5: Purely platonic
You barely got finished getting ready when you heard a knock at your door. You opened it to see Xiao standing in the hallway. He looked nicely put together and you can smell a faint scent of his signature cologne. It wasn’t anything too overpowering and it smelled nice.
At least it wasn’t the Dior Sauvage that Heizou always wears.
“See? You got ready in time,” Xiao commented in an amused tone.
You shut the door behind you, “Yeah whatever. Where is this place anyways?”
“It’s down the street. We can walk there,” He stated as you both began walking down the hall.
It was a silent walk to the elevator and the ride down. Every time you were with Xiao, there was always a lingering silence. It wasn’t anything awkward but rather comforting. He wasn’t one with many words and you were okay with that.
As you both made your ways outdoors, you winced at the bright sunlight. You do go outside but you spent most of last night silently crying in your bed. The sun didn’t do any good for your puffy eyes.
“I’m pretty sure it’s this way,” Xiao pointed straight ahead of you guys.
He began to cross the street and you followed after him.
“Do you even know where you’re going?” You looked at him strangely.
“Yes.”
“Right. Well have you been to this place before?”
“No but I heard some girls talk about it in my class.”
The two of you looked at each other and stifled a laugh.
“If the place doesn’t exist then what?” You questioned.
“It does because we’re already here.”
You looked up and saw an ice cream parlor in front of you. You were surprised you haven’t noticed it earlier. Considering it’s right in front of the university.
“Did you know it was an ice cream shop?” You glanced over at Xiao.
“Yup,” He muttered as he opened the door for you. He didn’t sound too convincing.
From the moment you two entered, you were hit with the sweet scents. It was occupied by mostly students so you didn’t feel out of place. The soft music playing made it feel cozy. You and Xiao stood in line and looked at all the ice cream on display.
The two of you ordered and paid. You then found a small corner where you two could sit.
Once you sat down, Xiao began to talk, “How are your classes?”
“They’re alright. Psychology is a cool subject and Professor Lisa is a good teacher,” You took a bite of your ice cream. “What about you?”
“Classes are fine but I don’t think I’ll do much with a computer science degree,” Xiao lightly chuckled. “My classmates are a bit weird. I never thought I’d see a guy pull up to class with an anime girl body pillow.”
You almost choked, “I’m sorry what?”
Xiao nodded and leaned back in his seat, “He kinda smells bad too.”
“Yeah I wonder why,” You giggled.
Xiao smiled softly at you. Despite being in the same friend group, the two of you never hung out one on one like this. You mostly stuck by your close friends in the group and he stuck by his.
You also never realized how good looking he is. You didn’t think he was ugly but you never appreciated his good looks. His parents definitely high five every time they see him.
It’s a pity you two are in the same friend group. You think it’d ruin the dynamic if you and Xiao became a thing.
“Y/n are you okay?” Xiao waved his hand in front of your face.
However, it’s not a bad thing to secretly admire him.
“Huh?” You snapped out of your thoughts.
“You’ve been zoning out a lot lately. Are you sure everything is fine?” He looked at you with concern in his eyes.
Of course he’s concerned. He is your friend after all.
So why do you feel flustered?
“I guess I still feel guilty about everything but you already know that,” You waved off his concerns. “Why did you choose computer science anyways? I always thought you’d choose economics like Hu Tao.” You tried changing the subject.
Xiao shrugged before responding, “Because Professor Zhongli teaches the class.”
“You don’t like him?”
“It’s not that. He’s a family friend. It’d feel weird to be in his class because he knew me since I was a kid.”
“Oh I get it! You got accepted through nepotism!” You replied, stifling a laugh.
“Shouldn’t Scara and Navia be considered nepo babies as well?” Xiao deadpanned.
“Oh yeah Scara’s mom and her wife did go here. Huh. I wonder if they’ve experienced anything-”
Xiao shoved a spoonful of his ice cream into your mouth before you could finish your sentence, “Don’t worry about that for now.” He quietly muttered.
.
The two of you were talking for a couple of hours. It seemed like it was only you guys in the room. It wasn’t until you heard commotion that caused you to lose to focus.
“I can’t believe you would do this!” A voice screamed in the corner.
You and Xiao turned to see an angry lady yelling at a man and another woman.
“Babe it’s not what it looks like!” Explained the man.
“Oh really? You said you were going to work but here you are with her!”
The shop went quiet and you could hear people gasping. You and Xiao gave each other glances as the scene unfolded.
“What a cheater,” You whispered to Xiao.
“I knew you two were fucking! I saw the texts! I can’t believe you would throw away our marriage to go have a fling with MY SISTER!” The lady made sure to emphasize the sister part.
“Hold on. Sister?” Your jaw dropped.
The poor workers tried to intervene but had no luck.
“Wait-” The man got cut off by his wife punching him in the face.
You almost let out a laugh. You silently gave her praise for beating her cheating husband.
“What the fuck is happening?” Xiao whispered to you.
Before you could even respond, the lady’s sister tried pushing her. This led to the woman slapping the absolute shit out of her. Which in turn, started an all out brawl between the two sisters. The husband was silently watching.
“Fight! Fight! Fight!” The entire ice cream shop was now recording and cheering on.
You and Xiao were too stunned to speak. Hair was being pulled and punches were being thrown. It was more exciting than the Jake Paul and Mike Tyson fight.
However, you weren’t trying to be caught in the middle. Therefore, you both silently left and laughed about it while walking back to campus.
As you were walking, he made sure he was on the side where the road was. You weren’t sure if he knew about the sidewalk rule but the tiny detail didn’t go unnoticed.
Eventually when the two of you got back to your dorm.
“I’m sure Lumine is already back,” You began to speak. “But thank you for trying to make me feel better. I had fun today.” You smiled to him.
Xiao faintly smiled back, “Just call me or anyone in the group if you need anything. You’re a good friend to us.”
Ouch.
“How desperate can I be? I can’t be pining over a friend like this,” You thought to yourself.
Xiao gave you a farewell side hug. You went inside and immediately threw yourself onto your bed.
“Um hello?” Lumine was sitting on her bed reading a book. “I heard you talking with someone outside.” She gave you a puzzling look.
You turned over to your side to face her, “I was hanging out with Xiao today. He wanted to comfort me I guess.”
Lumine raised her eyebrow, “Just the two of you?”
You nodded.
“How was it?” She asked, not looking up from her book.
“It was pretty chill. We just ate ice cream and talked for hours. I think it’s the most I ever talked to him.”
“He is pretty quiet I guess. He’s close with my brother and Kazuha anyways.”
“I wish I gotten to know him sooner. He’s not a bad person.”
“It’s good to hang out with your friends.”
There was a slight pause, “What if it could be more than friends?”
That statement caused Lumine to close her book and fully pay attention, “Y/n. Please don’t tell me-”
You cut her off, “Listen! Hear me out-”
“You have a crush on Xiao?!” Lumine fully interrupted you.
You tried shushing her, afraid he might still be lingering outside.
“I don’t have a crush on him!” You began to explain. “I just think he’s attractive that’s all. He has always been a friend but we only hung out in group settings. This time it was different and we talked for a while.”
Lumine sighed, “At least he’s a good guy. If you want I can have Aether help you.”
“No!” You blurted out. “I’m sure Aether could be a good wingman but I don’t want anyone else finding out about this. It’s only a small attraction nothing too crazy.” You tried reassuring her.
“You’re hopeless,” Lumine rolled her eyes and started reading again.
You were now staring at the ceiling. Silently contemplating what you should do. Your thoughts began to drift, wondering if Xiao would ever think of you being more than friends.
Masterlist II Previous II Next
A/N: What’s your fav ice cream flavor? Mine’s mint chocolate. Also mb if you’re lactose intolerant for the sake of the story lets just say you don’t shit when you have dairy. Also i went to the sabrina carpenter concert and it felt like a full circle moment for me listening to espresso live 😭
Synopsis: Friends start their first year at Teyvat University. The school that is known for its paranormal activity. The group doesn’t truly believe the rumors until they start to experience how frightening the school can be. What happens when the friend group investigates the truth of the hauntings?
Taglist: @morgyyyyyyy @state-of-grac3 @trulyylee @jellichuu @practicoi @yuminako @eyshamuun @kuniz-darlingg @heartsforni-ki @lalalaloveallmydays @animeobsessed56 @samyayaya @lloovvv @adepticiaoo @cherrysnows @miisamores @strayharmony943 @xionri @kazumiku @bethleeham @sukisprettyface @jayzioxx @kaikaidenkai @js-a-silly-little-guy @jiminscarmex @i-am-me-and-you @crimxeorcremeexistspeacefully @brideofbriar @floweringanna @miy-svz @vitanye
#genshin impact#genshin impact smau#genshin impact x you#genshin impact x y/n#genshin impact x reader#genshin smau#genshin x you#genshin x y/n#genshin x reader#xiao smau#xiao fanfic#xiao x you#xiao x y/n#xiao x reader#haunted smau#chuusheartattck
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YOU'RE ALIVE??? - my reaction upon seeing your most recent reblog
Anyway, your fic and blog single-handedly kickstarted my U.S. military history obsession <3
im alive!!!! yeah I've been away for a while. it, ah... has not been a grrrreat time to be a military historian or a Big Fan of military propaganda pieces like Top Gun for the last year or so...
lmfao I just saw that the second trump admin plans to haul up all the commanders in charge of the Afghanistan withdrawal (which HE negotiated btw) in front of congress with the plan to charge them all with TREASON per the UCMJ (good fucking luck dude)
but um in my timeline... that includes navy secretary 2021-2022 tom iceman kazansky, bro... so in case you're wondering what these characters are up to in the present day apparently the answer is "getting investigated for treason." sorry to bring down the mood. my happy ending's a little sour now.
mostly I've been insanely busy. I graduate university in may & have to have a journalism capstone, an English research thesis (my paper on military commanding officers in fiction inspired by my top gun fics tbh) and a creative writing capstone (novel) done by march. plus job applications, work for the place where im currently freelancing, apartment hunting... so im a wee bit crunched lately.
some minor updates for anyone who still cares: I am, extremely slowly, still editing WWGATTAI & the other stories. I've finished a complete overhaul of the Carole-dies chapter, chapter 7, but have yet to post it because I'd like to sync a logistical change in the story across the other pieces. and I'm mostly done with a COMPLETE overhaul of chapter 6 (aka "the nineties" chapter where ice & mav move in together & build their family) which goes into much more detail about how... emotionally and logistically... they could pull that off. + a lot more baseball stuff + the Clinton sex scandal. which leaves just chapter 10 left to do. ugh, my least favorite, which is why im putting it off... and then debriefing etc. which won't take as long because I don't honestly care about debriefing at all and I just have very minor changes to make to it. slider doesn't need editing and idgaf about the other pieces.
once I finish with the edits, which will happen eventually I swear because more than anything I just want to hold the updated edited final thing in my hands the way I did with the first draft, I'll upload my pdf (with meta analysis and notes that go back to mid-2022) for u guys to do with as you wish
also for the m:i doubleheaders I am planning on editing my m:i fic pre-m:i8 next year and pending ilsa life status will write much much more
#have I missed anything big in the fandom orrrr...#also I am on bsky at compacflt (tho I don't post about top gun)#if u wanna come say hi & see what im up to (politics and aerospacepoasting mainly)#'but Lia!' I hear you complain wrt this post. 'you promised all this before! you promised a final edit like literally over a year ago!'#yeah im continually asking for patience here lol#a lots going on in the world in case you weren't aware#trying to be cool and normal about this new administration purging the military of 'woke' and 'disloyalists'#but it is really a five alarm fire along with every other fucking thing this clown and his clown posse want to bring to the country I love#thinking of bringing back my boring march 2023 new-yorker-style tom kazansky interview to talk about some of this stuff in a fandom space#regardless of how you feel about 1980s Reagan neocon politics or 2010s neoliberal politics...#what we're about to see in the near foreign policy/defense policy future is a repudiation of both schools of thought for the WORSE#sorry let me go back to being cool and normal#and not posting on here#miss you guys
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There Is Beauty In The Pain
Chapter 6 Part 2
18+ below the cut
Tag list: @philomenie @supersquirrel1996 @foliosgirl @angelmarie89 @fadingintothegrey @thisbicc @lma1986 @dominuslunae @shayzillaaaa @mrsnoahsebastian @flowery-mess @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @stardustsirenmelody @romanreigns-supreme @anything-more-than-human @into-the-grey @rumoured-whispers @myownthoughts12 @sister-sebastian @nyxthedestroyerofworlds-deactiv @missduffsblog @bngurngheart @somebodyllelse @xxkittenkissesxx @fadingangelwisp
Sophie:
I brushed my teeth, placing my brush in the holder once finished and turned out the bathroom light. Climbing into bed, I sat for a moment, thinking about the day and all that had happened. I was still in a whirlwind of emotions about it, feeling like it was a first time thing, even though it certainly wasn’t.
Noah’s hands on me, exploring places only one other man had ever gone, was the last thing I ever expected, especially after the fight we had the other day.
To start with, Perry’s texts came out of nowhere, blindsiding me to the point that it made me panic. It had been almost three months since I’d last seen him, since those last horrible, fucked-up texts and video (which were still on my phone), were sent to me.
I’d blocked his number, but he must have gotten another number, because that morning, a text came through that said “I miss you and I’m sorry” from a random number I didn’t recognize, automatically thinking they had the wrong number.
I wrote back and said such, but another text came through quickly that read:
“No, I don’t. But I have yours memorized, Baby.”
I knew then I was screwed. The conversation with Perry was brief, but the things he told me were different than the other times before. Even his tone sounded different. I wanted to believe him, but after the night before with Noah, I just couldn’t.
I told Perry to go away and leave me alone, instantly blocking the number, but keeping the texts just in case. And then it happened. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t control the corrupted thoughts running through my head, and that morning, Noah could tell how wrecked I was. He thought it was his fault and it crushed me that he felt that way.
I just couldn’t explain it the right way to him, yet, because none of it made sense in my head yet. Then I made the mistake of calling him Perry, and man, that made things go south real fast.
I stayed to myself for a few days, eventually opening the prison gates in mind and allowing myself some freedom. Noah was there, waiting for me with a smile, a hug, and an apology which I accepted gratefully, ready to put the past behind me and move on.
The moment Noah touched me for the first time, my skin screamed. It wasn’t enough to just have his hands on me. I wanted him in me, molding me to him and allowing him to evade every single crack, corner and crevice of my body. And he did; mostly.
His finger inside me was something I never thought would be so addictive. He knew what he was doing when he twisted or hooked, or inserted another finger, almost filling me.
The way he softly yet confidently circled my clit, making me say things I’d never said before because I was never allowed to speak during sex with Perry. He said it broke his concentration, when really, now I knew he was probably thinking about somebody else.
Then came the moment when Noah went fully down on me, holding nothing back as he licked, sucked, and kissed my center like it had always belonged to him. In reality I guess it did because Perry, never once, did even a quarter of what Noah was doing. Even though I was forced to pleasure him and make him happy and content, Perry said that sort of thing wasn’t for him.
Noah brought me to such an unreal climax, that the way I came for him was out of this world. It gave me such a high, I was literally seeing stars, even making him cum in his jeans.
All of these little things Noah did to me earlier in the day attached themselves to my memory, refusing to forget any detail. They would stay there forever, buried deep in a secret place. But the best part of it all was how Noah made my heart feel through it all.
He was sweet and gentle and made me feel completely worthy of everything he did to and for me
I had never experienced an orgasm like that, nor being praised and worshiped in the way Noah had. The entire experience was euphoric, almost ethereal, and I hoped it wasn’t just a one time thing.
The subtle knock on the door brought me out from reminiscing and it opened slowly. Noah stood in the entrance, looking so fucking delicious that I had to squeeze my legs together, trying to suppress the strong sensual, wet feeling cascading between them. I knew Noah noticed because of the way he smiled at me.
“I just came to check on you and see if you were okay?”
“Well, that was sweet of you,” I answered, patting the spot next to me on the bed. Noah’s eyes met mine as he made his way over to the bed, dropping on the mattress next to me.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” I replied.
I wasn’t oblivious to the way Noah’s eyes raked over me. I was in my sleepy pants and a tank top and didn’t have the chance to grab my hoodie before he walked in. I was chilly, goosebumps spreading over my skin for proof and making my nipples harden. Noah’s eyes lingered on my breasts a little longer than I think he meant to because when he looked up at me, a slight reddish hue graced his cheeks.
I reached out and caressed his cheek, feeling the weight of his head leaning into my palm. He looked at me again, this time a little sleepier.
Noah had a face that could fit anywhere. Sometimes he was hot as hell, other times cute. Right now, he was absolutely adorable, but then other times, I’ve seen him look so angry that it scared me. But I knew I was safe with him. I knew Noah would never, ever hurt me.
“Sleepy?”
He nodded slowly.
“Did Matt mention anything about earlier,” I asked, quietly. Noah shook his head, slipping his hand between my knees.
“I think he was too embarrassed to,” he chuckled, letting his hand slide down my thigh. Even through the light fabric of my pants I could feel the heaviness of his touch, sparking a sudden need inside me. I sighed, indulging myself in the feeling of Noah’s hands on me again.
Without taking my eyes off his, I lowered my legs and let them fall open, hearing the strangled groan leave his chest as I did so, proving he wanted me, just as much as I wanted him.
“Round two,” Noah smirked, leaning over and laying his lips on me, kissing me softly. I took his hands, lacing his long, tattooed fingers with ming. My mouth fell open with his, our tongues pressing together as Noah let go of my hands and wrapped his arms around my waist, lifting and pulling me into his lap, where he continued to kiss me. I bit back and swallowed the moans that were begging to escape. I didn’t want to sound so needy and desperate.
Playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, I settled comfortably in Noah’s lap, unintentionally wiggling against the hard bulge pressed against my heated center.
It was Noah who moaned first, separating us for a moment to look at me.
“You’re so fucking beautiful, Sophie,” he said with absoluteness. I knew he was telling the truth. I could see it in his eyes.
“You’re pretty hot yourself,” I giggled, running my fingertips up and down his back, feeling his muscles relax beneath my touch.
“What are we doing?” he asked, his deep chocolate eyes searching mine.
“I don’t know,” I answered, lowering my gaze.
Noah lifted my chin and kissed me again, slipping his hands under my tank top and placing them on the skin of my back. His hands felt like fire to my icy skin, making me shiver. I welcomed his touch, though. It melted away every unwanted touch from my past every time I felt it.
His fingertips danced along my spine as memories began to unfold, images that had my eyes filling with tears. I threw my arms around his neck and rested my cheek against his shoulder.
“Are you okay?”
I nodded, unable to answer for fear he’d hear the tears in my voice.
“Hey, look at me,” Noah said, pulling me away from him.
I Didn't.
“Look at me,” he repeated, tone calm.
But I couldn't. I didn’t want him to see me feeling weak again.
His fingers were on my chin, lifting it to look at him. His eyes darted between mine and I could see the worry behind them.
“You're safe,” Noah whispered, cupping my face in his large hands, eyes boring straight into me as if penetrating my soul.
“I promise.”
That word. Promise. God how that word could break me.
He pulled me against him, wrapping his arms around me tightly.
“I'm sorry.”
“For what?”
“For not being easy,” I whimpered, wiping the loose tears that trickled down my cheeks
“Well, I don't want easy, I never asked for it. I just want you.”
I started to shake my head, but Noah stopped me by grabbing my face.
“Just the way you are,” he said, confidently.
I stared into his eyes, waiting to see that same look I would see in Perry’s eyes when he would lie to me, but I didn’t see it.
“Really?”
“Really,” Noah repeated, without missing a beat, running his thumbs over my lips. I frowned in confusion.
“Even the broken pieces?”
I wondered how that was even possible; to love someone, broken pieces and all.
Noah pecked my lips. “Especially the broken pieces,” he winked.
My heart suddenly felt ten times lighter as my head hit his chest and I laid it against it, relishing the sound of his beating heart.
Folio:
I knew the risk of it happening. I knew it was possible. I just didn’t think it would be so soon, so fast.
Sophie fell for him; Noah and all his charm. Of course she did. Why wouldn't she? After all, they shared a unique moment with each other and given everything that happened to her in the last month, Noah was the one her heart felt safe with. They weren't officially together, but all of us knew there was something there.
But there was an undeniable pull between me and her, one that came and went like a hot summer storm.
There were moments that were simple and mundane, our friendship blossoming into something I never knew I needed.
But then there were moments when the fever between us was so hot, so incredibly strong, that it felt like we could burn the world down around us.
I couldn’t explain it. I knew Sophie felt something whenever we were together. I could always see it in her eyes, especially when we touched, but neither one of us ever said anything.
So, I kept all my feelings to myself because of how worried I was about losing her for good. If I confessed the way I felt there was a chance she'd be angry with me or worse I'd scare her away and that wasn't something I was willing to risk.
There were hints, though that spoke loudly; the way she would watch me so intently and her reaction when I played my drum kit, or the way she would cuddle up close to me on our random fishing adventures.
But my favorite was when I took her out on my bike a few times while Noah spent the morning with Ash at the gym. The warm California air rushed through us both, making the space between hot and sweaty as she clung to me tightly.
Sometimes she'd rest her head on my back and I would hold her arm pressed tightly around my waist. It was magical, being with Sophie that way. It always felt right and I often thought I'd maybe stand a chance.
But each time we got home and I watched her and Noah hug and greet each other, it felt like I'd been punched in the gut or worse, had my heart ripped out of my chest. I'd pretend I didn't notice, only to hide myself away in my room for a while, sometimes getting high or just stareing at the ceiling thinking about what it would be like if it was me she had fallen for instead of Noah.
The answer was always the same, too; I'd be the happiest man in the world.
Six Months Later
Noah:
The warm liquid seeped through my shorts, creating a large grayish stain to appear. Luckily, we were the only ones home, so I didn’t risk the chance of getting shit from any of the guys before getting the chance to change.
“See what you fucking do to me,” I smiled after Sophie pulled me in between her thighs, wrapping her legs around the back of mine.
Her arousal made me aroused and right after her orgasm hit her, mine came crashing into me before I could stop it.
Sophie held my face between her hands and kissed me, slipping her tongue into my mouth and pressing it to mine. The way she kissed me fully had me wrecked. My legs were still shaking.
She ran her hands through my hair, wrapping them behind my neck.
“I fucking love it when you do that,” I moaned, lowering my head to her shoulder.
“What, this?” running her hands through my hair, her nails raking against my scalp.
“Yup. That.”
Sophie chuckled.
I raised my head and looked over her face, taking in all the sweet little imperfections I noticed: a few small scars on her cheekbones and under her eyes, proof of all the hard months of physical abuse she lived through.
“So beautiful,” I whispered to myself.
Sophie shook her head and instantly looked away, refusing to meet my eyes.
“Hey, look at me,” slipping my finger under her chin and turning her face towards me.
“You are,” I assured her. My lips formed a thin line and curved into a smile, but Sophie covered her face with her hands as if she was embarrassed. I pulled them away, and brought them to my chest instead, holding them there tightly.
‘Don't you dare cover your face, especially not from me,” I scolded. “You've spent too much of your life hiding that beautiful face because of…”
but I didn't finish my thought. I didn't want to say the asshole’s name that was responsible for all of Sophie’s trauma in the past. I didn't like bringing up the abuse either and all the shit he put her through.
“Yeah, well, you know,” I huffed, I mumbled.
I bushed the loose hair out of Sophie’s face, forcing a smile. I was fighting hard against the urge of wanting to finally be inside her, filling her and worshiping her body the way it deserved to be.
But I was the one choosing to wait for sex. I wanted to give her more time to adjust to everything that was happening in her world and all around her and not feel forced or pressured just to satisfy me.
The soft touch of her fingers as they slid down my cheek when she touched me spoke louder than words. It was refreshing and I couldn’t resist leaning into her touch.
I had so much to tell Sophie. Over the last nine and a half months, I'd learned everything about her, yet I hadn’t been fully transparent with her.
I had secrets of my own that I wasn't sure I was capable of telling her, things about my past that still haunted me, but I knew I had to try. And soon.
"I'm ready Noah, I'm ready for you to have all of me.”
Was she serious? My forehead creased and I knew Sophie could easily read the expression on my face.
“Sophie, are you sure? Don't you think,” “I have been thinking, Noah! That's all I've been doing! I want you, Noah. I need you, now.”
She stared up at me with her doleful eyes, making me weaker by the second. “I’m through with waiting.”
My hands ached to touch her, my arms to hold her. “Are you sure?” I whispered, sinking down closer to her lips. They were a mere inches apart from each other when she whispered back, “Yes.”
Fuck.
Our lips crash together in a cry of desperate eagerness. Sophie pulled me into her causing me to have to straddle her lap as my hands tangled around her face and then her hair. I wanted to devour her and suffocate beneath her kisses, consuming as much of her as I could. Her hands found my ass and I uttered a low grumble the moment I felt them attach to me, gripping and tugging on my shorts.
“Fuck, Sophie,” I breathed, almost falling into her. “Noah, I want you,” she pleaded.
The way she whined, pulling part of my shorts down and running her hand over my skin had me buckling at the knees, weak as hell.
“Sophie, baby,” I mumbled against her lips, dropping to my knees and cupping her face to kiss her better. I couldn’t resist her intoxicatingly strong need for me anymore.
I didn't want to. I wanted to give her every part of me, including every dark and dirty secret I had buried deep inside my head.
“You own me, baby. You fucking own me; body and soul,” I confessed to her, no longer caring how fast any of this was moving. She whimpered again, making my hard, throbbing cock twitch against the zipper of my shorts.
“And everyone is going to know it.”
Sophie stopped, pulling away to look at me.
“Noah, are you sure?”
I smiled at the way she seemed so worried about it. “I’m sure. I’ve never been more sure about anything before in my life.”
She threw herself back into my arms, clinging to me tightly.
“Noah, let's go upstairs, please,” she begged me, and my heart started pounding even harder than before. I pulled her to her feet, about to do just that, when my phone went off. The ringer was fucking loud, making both of us jump.
“Motherfucker,” I groaned, pulling it out of my pocket to see who it was.
“Fucking Matt.” I ignored it, and slid it back into my pocket. “He can wait,” I said, cupping Sophie’s face again, kissing her already bruised, wet lips. Picking her up bridal style, I head towards the staircase, just as my phone went off again.
“Seriously,” I growled in frustration. It was Matt again. Sophie sighed. “Just answer it. And go clean yourself up,” she laughed, pointing down at my shorts still stained with my release from earlier. “No, I'm just going to ignore it again,” I stated, taking her hand, but she pulled away from me.
“Don't. He's just going to keep calling or worse show up. Just answer it. We'll have time for us later.”
Sophie laid her hand gently on my arm, standing on her tiptoes to kiss me. I grumbled and answered the phone, knowing she was right.
“Okay, what? Someone better be dying Matt, I swear to god. You just interrupted the most significant moment in the history of me and Sophie.”
“Noah.”
The somber tone in Matt's voice made stop halfway up the stairs.
“Matt, what’s wrong?”
There was a brief pause.
“Noah, I've got some really fucked up news that you're not going to like. I only found out a little bit ago myself.”
I hadn't heard the kind of tone in Matt's voice since… fuck.”
“She's back, isn't she,” I stated, pausing halfway up the stairs. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest and I felt like I might throw up. The world around me started to become a little bury as I carefully sat down on the step below me.
“Yeah, she is, Noah. Sarah's back.
#noah sebastian#noah sebastian fanfiction#bad omens band#bad omens cult#bad omens#bad omens fanfiction
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Everyone is in full conspiracy mode since (a little before) the last chapter with the Fyodor ability theories and I'm loving that. That got me thinking:
What was Fyodor's objective again?
Disclaimer, I fully rely on translations, but I cross-checked with two of them so...
special thanks to @ticklinglady for finding these pages!
"... a world free of sin and skill users."
1. A world free of sin
He says he wants to spill the blood of the sinners like 3 times but doesn't really give an explanation of who, what or why.
His definition of "sin" is quite vague, but could be the usual christian/catholic/orthodox/etc (sorry it's been a while) stuff. The one time he identified a specific behaviour as a sin was when the Agency and Port Mafia were killing each other "even though they knew they were being set up to do so" (though he also said Ace breathing and thinking was a crime and said killing Karma was freeing him).
In the Dead Apple novelization (not written, but edited by Asagiri, who came up with the original idea for the movie and gave a whole speech on Fyodor to the writing team), Fyodor does make a speech about the post-dragon red fog surrounding the Earth, transforming it into a "dead apple" by essentially killing everyone and "washing away the original sin of man". The apple motif was a sort of poetic irony.
According to the novelization, this was his true objective at the time and he never mentions the Book, not even in the epilogue, as opposed to doing so in the movie.
This scenario is kind of a contradiction, since the fog would have erased everyone except ability users, though most would have suffered at the hands of their abilities before dying. Said abilities would have then been kept in a collection maintained by Shibusawa, an ability singularity himself, which brings us to...
2. A world free of ability users
I went through the manga and never did find an instance of Fyodor speaking ill of abilities, only ability users. That doesn't mean there is a difference to him in the first place, but it's interesting.
The Dead Apple scenario is to be taken with a grain of salt, but killing everyone doesn't seem to be a problem for him (he kills nearly everyone he interacts with anyway), and this implies that to him every single human is sinful beyond redemption and can only be saved through death. Why he is singling out ability users in that case? seems redundant.
Other instances of him talking about his objective included talking about "the will of the hand of God and Demon", doing this "for the sake of a better world", and saying the death he gives is a form of salvation by severing the influence of sins from the soul. He also talks a big game about God and his intentions (order and stuff), and Dazai likes to point and laugh at him when he does so.
As a bonus, in Dead Apple, Fyodor answered Dazai's question of why he accepted to join forces with him by saying it was "simply to see the world as it ought to be" (and because he wanted entertainment, with Dazai turning out to be that entertainment, as Fyodor was in fact using him the whole time for his own agenda).
now go and apply that knowledge to your theories
#and this is an open mic post if you have more feel free to add#i went through the entire manga and fyodor's scenes in the movie and his scenes in the novelization AND the DA prologue in mayoi#i don't know where else to look without getting ahead of myself#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd analysis#bsd meta#bsd manga spoilers#?#this was mostly because of the ''what are you'' in the last chapter#bsd fyodor#bsd fyodor dostoevsky#apparently i talk sometimes#i don't want to cut it it's not THAT long so#long post
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I’m gonna make it through the rest of Kyojuro’s backstory for this damn role swap AU even if it fucking kills me
#it’s only four chapters. two of them are posted. I haven’t touched it since March#IDK WHY BUT ITS JUST NOT FUCKIN WORKING FOR ME#like I know EXACTLY what I wanna do with the fourth chapter#but this third one is kicking my ass#I know why it’s cuz it’s a transition chapter and I HATE those things#because first two were about him being a slayer and everything with Senjuro#and the fourth one is his last little push over the deep end and officially becomes the First Kizuki and gets that special brand of crazy#but this third one where he and Senjuro are adjusting to life with Tamayo and it’s mostly the development of him starting to hate humanity#is just very. eh. eh. hard to write. like technically hard. it’s not flowing well#oh well. I’ll get there eventually#and then I’ll get to write the fourth chapter which I’m actually very excited about#it’s mostly from Shinjuro’s pov and >:) nothing goes well for him lol. lmao even#wonder how having two sons become demons and get adopted by the king of demons goes for you chief#spoilers: not well. and Kyojuro is a very hungry boy fjfjdjdk#kaz rambles
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Uh, hi. I’ve spent the last few months reading, re-reading, laughing, and shedding a frankly-embarrassing amount of tears over your works (foolproof, foolhardy—especially the most recent chapter—resonated with me so heavily I cried for a good long while).
I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your writing and am very much looking forward to the next chapters of whatever you decide to update.
Also, Happy Belated Birthday!
Thank you so much!!!
honestly foolproof foolhardy is one of those fics I didn’t expect to a) be liked so much, and b) one of those fics that was supposed to look and feel completely different
Originally, there was supposed to be much more seduction going on between padawan obi-wan and master anakin—shenanigans where he actually had to really try to get Master Skywalker’s attention and seduce his friend’s master only to be found out in the last moment when real feelings are already there for both of them
But tbh then I started writing this padawan obi-wan and he became such an interesting mix of confident and self conscious and very very unsure about himself and the galaxy around him, post war, and I was like…..No I have to give him Master Skywalker’s love from the get go….it’s what he Deserves™️
And then it became much more about waiting and hoping and betrayal and sore spots and trauma and like. A surprisingly heavy story (with hopefully an equal amount of emotional catharsis by the last chapter)
But still lovingly called my Stacy’s mom au 😎👉👉
#asks#what I mean mostly#is that the last chapter especially I can see really hitting someone where it hurts because obi-wan is hurting so much#about things that are pretty relatable imo#anyway bottom line thank you for caring enough about the story that it made you cry!!!#hope to update sooner than last time
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I knitted a lot today while listening to the heart of darkness audiobook. but this means I have not had a lot of leisure time and time alone... time to p3r
#heart of darkness... sorry to say it but kinda mid#it commits one of the cardinal sins imo that a book can commit:#nothing fucking happens like nothing happens. it's mostly vibes based.#giovanni's room was like this too it's so annoying#maybe I'm too gen z adhd low attention span pilled but like. NOTHING. HAPPENS.#and I mean beside the frame story that serves as the conceit of it#i.e. nothing's happening and the characters are just sitting listening to this guy reminisce#I mean even beyond that. tell me what happens. he goes to africa. he keeps meeting these colonial officers and secretaries and whatever#he finds out his boat got fucked up. he spends like half a chapter working on fixing his boat and complaining that there's no parts for it#he takes the boat to find the guy. he finds the guy. guy tries to escape off the boat. he drags him back. you think something interesting#might happen because he's like oh I might just kill this fucker. HE DOESN'T. he takes the guy back on the boat. Oh before that he meets the#guy that's weirdly obsessed with this other guy. and also the boat gets shot at with arrows. guy dies on the boat and leaves main character#his shit. main character doesn't give his shit away to people who hate him. main character goes to visit the guy's love interest#lies to her about guy's last words. that's it.#LITERALLY NOTHING HAPPENS#mid book#but I read it and I will slay at the seminar because I'm convinced very few if any of my colleagues will have read it
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You know, I've never been a fanfic person, and so far I've pretty much only read short one shots, I think I've read only one fic with many chapters and a bigger plot? But a few days ago I read a few Road 96 fics I bookmarked in the last few weeks, and turns out!! Two of them are unfinished. One lacks only the final chapter, and that one wasn't as interesting to me so I don't feel bad for not being able to finish it, but the other I got super invested in before I noticed it has only three chapters out of who knows how many. I understand now the hell of finding the perfect fic and having to wait for more. Ough
#and of course all of those were jarod related because obviously they would be#the shorter unfinished one was good and if it ever gets finished i will still read it#but it was mostly about a kink i dont have so like#it was good because it was well written and had some neat moments but overall im just not the target audience#but the other one. man#its definitely gonna be p long#like the three chapters barely started the plot but hooked me so bad#fortunately the last update was like a few weeks ago iirc so it doesnt seem to be abandoned#but like man the writing style was so fucking good#and based on the tags its gonna be like. mostly right up my alley#im not saying any titles tho#on one hand i wish i could recommend them but on the other. i am not saying what did i read#what happens on ao3 stays on ao3 you know what I mean#oh but i also read a sfw one that was p short and really good#the author sent me it here in dms#i can recommend that one with no hesitation#blood stained her hands#by luxedeluxe#but yeah im in hell now because i really want to continue reading the long one but. ougf#oh and btw the one long fic i mentioned that ive read in the past was flowerfell#like the undertale au where everyone is like red and evil and frisk grows flowers on them when they die#i dont know if there are multiple fics from that au but it was years ago so it was the og i think#really good#and i think the first fic ive ever read lmao#bee buzz
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Listen to your elders
So last week I posted abut the importance of downloading your fic. And then three days later AO3 went down for 24 hours. No one was more weirded out by this than I was. But while y’all were acting like the library at Alexandria was on fire I was reading my download fic and editing chapter eight of Buck, Rogers, and the 21st Century. And also thinking about what I could do to be helpful when the crisis was actually over.
So first off, I’m going to repeat that if you’re going to bookmark a fic, you really need to also download the fic and back it up in a safe place. I just do it automatically now and it’s a good habit to get into.
But let’s talk about some other scenarios. Last October I lost power for over a week after hurricane Ian. Apart from not having internet or A/C I did find plenty to do, I collect books so I had plenty to read, but maybe, unlike me, your favorite comfort reads aren’t sitting on a bookshelf. So let’s do something about that, shall we?
In olden times many long years ago around 1995 we printed off a lot of fic. It was mostly SOP to print a fic you planned to reread and stick it in a three ring binder. And that’s totally valid today too, but you can also make a very nice paperback with a minimum amount of skill and materials.
Let’s start with the download; Go to Ao3 and select your fic, we’ll be working with one of mine. This method works best with one shots, long fic tends to need a more complicated approach. Get yourself an HTML download
Open up the HTML download and select all then copy paste into any word processor. Set the page to landscape and two columns, then change the font to something you find easy to read, this is your book, no judgement. This is all you have to do for layout but I like to play a little bit. I move all the meta, summary, notes to the end and pick out a fun font for the title:
No time like the present to do a quick proofread. Congratulations, you’ve just created your first typeset. On to the fun part.
Now you’re going to need some materials: 8.5x11in paper ruler one sheet of 12x12 medium card stock (60-80lb) scissors pencil pen or fine tip marker sheet of wax paper white glue two binder clips 2 heavy books or 1 brick butter knife
You’ll also need a printer, if you’re in the US there is almost a 100% chance your local library has a printer you can use if you don’t have your own. None of these materials are expensive and you can literally use cheap copy paper and Elmers glue.
Print your text block, one page per side. Fold the first page in half so that the blank side is inside and the printed side out:
use the butter knife to crease the edge. Repeat on all the sheets. When you’ve finished, stack them up with the raw edge on the left and the folded edge on the right. I used standard copy paper, because you’re only printing on one side there’s no bleed to worry about. Take the text block and line everything up. Use the binder clips to hold the raw edge in place.
Wrap the text block in the wax paper so that the raw edge and binder clips are facing out. I’m going to use my home built book press but you don’t need one, a brick or a couple of books or anything else heavy will work fine.
Once the text block is anchored down, take off he binder clips and get out the glue.
You can use a brush but you don’t need one, smear some glue on that raw edge.
Go make a margarita, watch The Mandalorian, call your mother. Don’t come back for at least an hour
In an hour smear some more glue on there and shift your brick forward so that the whole book is covered. This keeps the paper from warping. While glue part 2 is drying we’ll do the cover. Get out your 12x12 cardstock
Mark the cardstock off at 8.5 inches and cut it. Measure in 5.5 inches from the left and put in a score line with the butter knife (the back edge not the sharp edge)
Carefully fold the score line, this is your front cover. You have some options for the cover title, you can use a cutting machine like a cricut if you have one, you can print out a title on the computer and use carbon paper to transfer the text to the cardstock. I was in a mood so I just freehanded that beoch. Pencil first then in pen.
Take your text block out from under your brick. Line it up against the score mark and mark the second score on the other side of the spine
Fold the score and glue the textblock into the cover at the spine. Once the glue dries up mark the back cover with the pencil and then trim the back cover to fit with your scissors.
Voila:
I’m going to put this baby on the shelf next to the Silmarillion.
The whole process, not counting drying time, took less than an hour.
If you want to make a book of a longer fic, I recommend Renegade Publishing, they have a ton of resources for fan-binders.
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Cherry Red, Crimson Blood
Chapter 10: Treat Me Gently
Summary: You and Price take your relationship to the next level. It might be the best decision you've ever made.
Pairing: Poly 141 x reader
Warnings: NSFW, 18+, smut, p in v sex, fingering, oral, first time sex, unprotected(ish) sex, reader has an implant, creampie, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, military inaccuracies, language, the author is a bit rusty writing smut.
A/N: It's finally here. It's finally arrived, the moment we've all been waiting for! Uh, yeah, it's mostly badly written smut with just a little plot thrown in there. So...I hope you enjoy!
MASTERLIST | <- Previous | Next ->
Your attention is pulled from your book as the couch sinks on either side of you, two bodies joining you. You glance up from your book as an arm drapes itself across the back of the couch behind you. Your eyes flicker between Gaz and Johnny, mischievous grins on their faces.
“We heard you have a date this weekend.” Gaz says, leaning in closer.
Your face warms at his words. “Well, I don’t know if I’d call it a date...”
“What are you wearing?” Gaz asks.
“Do ye have anythin’ to wear?” Johnny asks.
Their questions give you pause. The most formal thing you have are jeans and, though you doubt Price would care if you showed up in sweatpants, you would like to have something nice to wear.
“Come on.” Gaz says, slapping your thigh before standing. “We’re going shopping.”
“What?” You glance between him and Johnny as they stand over you.
“Already got permission from Price.” Johnny says. “So come on.” He grabs your hands, lifting you to your feet easily. “Let’s get goin’, kitten.”
Your cheeks warm at the pet name, Johnny’s hand settling on your lower back to steer you from the rec room. You don’t have much of a choice but to follow, grabbing a couple things from your room before you leave the barracks with them to a car parked outside. It’s different from the car you and Price had taken to town last weekend. Of course, they probably all have their own vehicles, or at least a few at their disposal.
“I’m driving.” Gaz says, plucking the keys from Johnny’s hand.
“Aww, ye never let me drive!” Johnny pouts.
“Yeah, because with our luck you’ll traumatize her so badly, she’ll never want to leave again.” Gaz says, opening the driver’s side door.
You can’t help but giggle at the dejected look on Johnny’s face as you get into the back, Johnny muttering the entire way to the passenger side.
“I’m no’ that bad of a driver.” Johnny says, buckling his seatbelt.
“Yeah, but both you and Simon seem to be in agreement that the speed limit is a suggestion, not a law.” Gaz says as he turns on the car. “I’d like to make it there and back in one piece, thank you. Besides, Price would have both our heads if anything happened to our girl on our watch.”
Your cheeks warm as you meet Gaz's gaze through the rear view mirror. Your heart flutters at the look in his eyes, the dedication and protectiveness shining in them.
“I wouldnae let anything happen to ye.” Johnny says, reaching back to squeeze your knee for a moment.
You stare out the window of the car as Gaz drives towards town, half listening to the conversation in the front seat. You're beginning to recognize landmarks, buildings, areas between the base and town despite it only being your second trip. They'd be proud of you, you think. At least if something happened, you'd be able to give a landmark.
The farmlands fade into the city and soon Gaz is parking on the street in front of a shop. You take Gaz's hand as he helps you out of the car, lacing your fingers together. Soap holds the door to the shop open, letting you and Gaz walk through first.
It's a nice boutique filled with all sorts of formal wear. You wonder how they even knew about this place, or if they had done some research beforehand. Both make you feel honored that they would even go to those lengths just for you.
They are going to be your pack soon.
Packs do this sort of thing for each other. They take care of each other, spoil each other, make each other happy. It’s hard to be a good pack if one member is unhappy.
“Good afternoon.” One of the workers approaches you. “My name is Emily. Is there something I can help you find today?”
“Our omega has a date with our alpha this weekend.” Gaz says, smiling down at you. “She needs something to wear.”
The worker, Emily, smiles at you. “How exciting! Did you have anything in mind? Style, color, anything like that?”
“Probably nothing too fancy,” You say, eyeing the racks. “And, probably a dress.”
“Alright, we've got lots of options for that. Let's take a look and you can try some on.” Emily says.
Gaz keeps hold of your hand as you follow Emily through the racks, looking at some of the options. Johnny goes off on his own, perusing the racks himself.
“Is there a certain color you have in mind?” Emily asks you.
You hum in contemplation, looking at the many racks. You're not sure what color Price would like, or if he even has a favorite.
“His favorite color is blue, like a dark navy blue.” Johnny answers for you. “Though, I think he'd like you in any color.”
You can't help the way your cheeks warm a bit at Johnny's words. You realize you don't even know their favorite colors. There's still so much about them that's a mystery to you.
“What's your favorite color?” You ask, looking up at Gaz.
“I don't think I have just one.” He says, running his hand over a sequin covered dress on the rack in front of you “I like warm colors. Reds, oranges, purples.”
“Like a sunset.” You say, looking at a tag on one of the dresses, nearly choking at the price.
Gaz gently removes the tag from your hand, giving you a look as you meet his gaze. “Don't even worry about it, love.” He says quietly, leaning down to kiss your cheek.
“My favorite color is green.” Johnny says, appearing next to you suddenly.
“Let me guess, Ghost’s is black.” You say.
Johnny's mouth twitches. “Now how'd you come to guess that?”
You shrug, unable to hide your grin. “Call it intuition.”
Emily takes you to the changing rooms, the boys taking seats outside to wait for you to try on the dresses you've chosen so far. You pick a sleeveless, blue, knee-length dress first with a ruched skirt. You already don't like it, but you know the guys will want to see it regardless.
You feel nervous, strangely exposed as you step out of the dressing room and make your way to where the guys are sitting. They both straighten up as you approach, Johnny’s eyes immediately on your legs. Gaz let's out a low whistle as his eyes scan your figure, ending on your legs as well.
“What?” You ask concerned as you stare down at your own legs thinking the worst, like how you might have missed a spot shaving or something.
“Nothin’ love,” Gaz says, unable to lift his gaze from your legs. “Just never seen you in anything but long pants before.”
Your cheeks warm at his words. It's true, the climate had yet to allow for anything but long pants. Even to sleep, you found yourself too cold without long sleep pants.
“Christ, you've got gorgeous legs, kitten.” Soap says, letting his eyes trail your form. “Keepin’ those hidden from us?”
Your face feels like it's on fire as they stare at you, and quickly turn to face the large mirror across from them in an attempt to steady the butterflies in your stomach.
“What do you think?” Emily asks, stepping up next to you.
“It's a little too...churchy for a date.” You say smoothing your hands over the skirt. “Definitely need something fancier than this.”
You try on a few of the others, but none of them are right. Too short, too long, too formal, not formal enough. Johnny brings you more to try, a couple sticking out, but you're not sold on any of them.
The last dress you have yet to try on catches your eye as you pull it off the hook. It's a deep blue color, almost black. It's long sleeved and covers your front entirely, but the back is open. It's short, the skirt hem long enough to cover your ass, but you wouldn't dare bend over. It hugs your figure, accentuating the curves and lines of your body.
Your cheeks are warm as you step out of the changing room, both Gaz and Johnny going slack-jawed as they stare at you. Even Emily looks in awe as you stand in front of them.
“I think you've found the one, love.” Gaz says, his eyes trailing your form. “Give us a spin.”
You do a slow turn, not missing the way their eyes widen in the mirror when they see the back, Johnny still frozen as you turn back to face them.
“How do you feel?” Emily asks, stepping up to you.
“Good.” You say, your face still warm. “Really good.”
“Yeah,” She says, looking you over. “I think you've hit the mark with this one. Let me grab shoes and we'll put the whole look together.”
You turn to face the mirror as she steps away, your eyes meeting Gaz's as he steps up to you.
“You look fantastic, love.” He says, leaning in close over your shoulder, his breath fanning your ear. Goosebumps form on your skin as his fingers slowly trail up the line of your spine. “Price is going to want to devour you instantly as soon as he sees you in this one.”
You shiver at his words, biting your lip as his fingers splay out across your upper back. “You think so?”
There's a mischievous glint in his eyes as he holds your gaze through the mirror. “He won't be able to keep his hands off you. Gonna drive him insane, making him sit through dinner looking like a delicious dessert.”
You fear you might start smoking from how warm you feel, glad for Emily's reappearance. You try on the shoes she brings, opting for the shorter heels for the sake of your own dignity.
Johnny distracts you as Gaz pays for the items, spending far too much on you but neither will let you complain. It's what they're supposed to do.
They are your pack after all.
“What about lingerie?” Johnny asks, turning to look at you as you sit in the car.
Your face burns at his question. You hadn't thought about that bit.
“Gotta dress up the whole fit.” He wiggles his eyebrows at you.
“Lay off her, perv.” Gaz says, smacking Johnny's chest. “He's right though, gotta make sure the whole outfit matches.”
You feel like you might implode in the backseat. You might not make it to Saturday at this rate.
You wake early on Saturday. You don't have to be up early. There's nothing going on until tonight, no need for you to rise earlier than the sun. Yet, you can't help the anticipation burning in your stomach, the nervous fluttering in your chest. Tonight you're going to sleep with Price for the first time. Tonight you'll allow him closer than you've ever allowed anyone.
You have an outfit, you have fancy underwear, even new shoes. You're not sure how you want to wear your hair. You're not sure on makeup either, though Price has seen you plenty without it and has yet to offer any complaints.
You grab your phone, laying in bed and scrolling hair tutorials until the sun comes up and you start hearing movement in the hallway. You don’t bother changing, pulling on shoes before stepping out. You are hungry, even after spending half the day in town and eating dinner out with Gaz and Johnny yesterday. You slip out the door, coming face to face with Ghost. You tilt your head back, staring up at him.
“Didn’t expect to see you.” He grumbles. “Figured you’d be busy getting ready.”
“I’ve got like ten hours until I have to be ready.” You say, blinking up at him. “It doesn’t take that long.”
He lets out a huff, rolling his eyes. “Come on.”
You follow him out of the barracks, but you find yourself not having to speed walk quite as fast to keep up with him today.
“Are you upset?” You ask, kicking up your pace a bit so you can walk side by side with him.
“About what?” He asks.
“Price and I.” You say.
“Why would I be?” He sounds genuinely baffled that you’re asking him.
You shrug. “You’re an alpha in the pack too, and I didn’t really ask anyone but Price.”
“Price is your alpha.” He says, as if it’s the most straightforward thing in the world. He’s not wrong, Price is the only one that really matters when it comes to you, since he’s the pack alpha, and he’ll be the one claiming you.
“Would you ever want to be?” You ask, looking up at him.
He meets your gaze as he opens the door to the mess, not answering as you slip into the hall. He stands closer to you than he normally does as you get in line for food, tailing you like a shadow as you find Johnny among the drowsy and hungover soldiers in the mess.
You take a seat across from him, Ghost taking his spot next to Johnny. You can feel the nerves beginning to take hold as you eat, thinking about your date tonight. It’s not like you really have to impress Price much, though you suppose you could make him dislike you rather easily. You’d rather avoid that situation, as there’s no getting out of mating and being claimed by him. You’re going to be part of his pack whether he likes you or not.
What if he finds you boring? You’re not even sure what you could talk about. It’s not like you do much, and he already knows most everything he can about you. The only thing you have to talk about are things you’d rather not discuss during your first date. You’d prefer not to discuss them at all.
“You’ll be fine.” Johnny says as you walk back to the barracks. “Just get ‘im talking, and ye won’t need tae worry about gettin’ a word in yourself.”
Johnny’s words do make you giggle. You’re sure Price has so much more to talk about than you do. You barely know anything about him in general.
It’s ironic that you’re more nervous about dinner than you are about the fact Price is going to take your virginity tonight.
You did ask for this. It’ll be good, getting to know him before your heat starts. The idea of going through your heat with a virtual stranger is terrifying to you, and Price had so willingly offered to do this so that doesn’t happen, so you feel more comfortable with being mated and claimed by someone you at least somewhat know. This is your chance to get to know your pack alpha, your alpha before you’re forced to. This is your chance to make your own decision, to have some control over a life that’s been dictated for you this far.
You spend the morning in a nervous panic, looking up tips online, tutorials, possible questions he might ask and thinking up answers that will make you sound interesting at least. Answers that won’t just be parroting things that he already knows. Gaz brings you lunch, letting you continue to prepare for your date, knowing the chances of you having a breakdown if you’re forced around people are high right now.
You give yourself ample time to get ready, showering and moisturizing, making sure you smell clean and look nice. You do your hair, taking your time to make yourself look decent. You opt for minimal make up, wanting to make yourself seem like you at least put a little effort into your looks.
You're strapping on your shoes when the knock comes at the door. Six o'clock sharp, just as you expected. You take a deep breath, adjusting your dress before you open the door.
John is standing on the other side, dressed in a button up shirt and slacks. You look him over, the fresh scent of cologne reaching your nose. His eyes rake your form, his scent slipping through the cologne as his gaze darkens a bit. Gaz was right. He does look like he wants to devour you.
“You clean up nicely.” You say, looking him over again. His shirt hugs his muscles nicely, his pants obviously tailored to fit him. You haven't seen him in anything but fatigues and civilian clothes so far.
“Was going to say the same to you.” He says, lips pulling up into a smile. “You look beautiful, sweetheart.”
Your cheeks warm at the compliment. “Thank you.”
“Hungry?” He asks, offering you an arm.
“Always.” You say, taking his arm, letting him lead you towards the rec room.
The lights inside are dimmed, the table usually reserved for games set up with a tablecloth and candles, along with two plates covered with cloches, and a bottle of wine. You're not sure when he managed to procure the wine, or maybe he had it saved and decided this was as good a time as any.
“Wow.” You say, impressed by the effort he obviously put into everything.
“I bribed the boys out of here for a few hours.” He says, leading you to the table. “Wasn't easy.”
“I bet.” You say, sitting down in one of the chairs, letting him push it in for you.
He pours you both glasses of wine before taking the cloches off the plates. You blink in surprise at the meal on the plate. Spaghetti, a salad, and bread. It's so simple, yet it takes you right back to weeknight dinners at home.
“You made this?” You ask as he takes the seat across from you.
He nods. “I've amassed many skills over the years. I'm no five star chef, but I can throw things together in a pinch.”
“Well it looks good.” You say, picking up your fork.
It tastes good too. It's so simple, yet it's one of the best things you've eaten in the last month. You miss a lot of things about America, and the food is starting to be one of those.
You and John make small talk as you eat, the wine warming your body and easing your nerves.
“How long has it been,” You ask him as you clear your plate. “Since you were with an omega last?”
“Two years.” He says, taking a sip of wine.
Your eyes widen in surprise. You know they've been with omegas in the past, taking advantage of barrack bunnies and the swaths of willing omegas you know populate near military bases. You just hadn't thought it would be that far back in the past.
“Right around the time the task force was created.” He continues. “We were too busy bonding and working on the task force, by the time we had a moment long enough for anything like that, we didn't need them anymore.”
“That must have been torture.” You say, staring at him wide eyed.
“We're trained for that sort of thing.” He says with a smile. “How to fight off those urges, those needs. When you're in the field, something like that could get you killed. You don't pass selection into the SAS until you can show mastery over those skills.”
“Damn.” You say, taking a sip of your wine. “Still, it couldn't have been easy.”
“It can be hard, once you've been with an omega, to go without. But that's just part of the job.”
“Well, I suppose that's partly why I'm here.” You say, huffing out a laugh.
“Perhaps.” He says. “I'm certain we're not getting the full story.”
The double meaning isn't lost on you. There's a lot they don't know about you, things that are safer buried deep where they can't hurt anyone. Things you'd like to keep buried for the rest of time.
“It’s nothing...bad is it?” You ask, searching his gaze.
“I’d like to think not,” He says.
But...
You don’t need to hear him say it. You know it’s there, lingering at the end of that statement. You wonder how many times he’s been in these situations, forced to place blind trust in someone and hope they have the best intentions in mind. You’re all too familiar with those sorts of situations. Putting blind trust in strangers was your life purpose as soon as you presented as an omega.
“We’re not going to let anything happen to you.” He says, staring at you with such conviction you can’t help but believe him. “You’re part of our pack, which makes you part of this team, even if bureaucracy says otherwise. We take care of each other, and that includes you. You’re our omega, regardless of whatever the endgame is for this initiative.”
You feel almost breathless at his words, at his declaration of loyalty to you. You know how much loyalty means to someone like him, the kind of promise words like that uphold. They’d give their lives to defend you. You’d fight to defend them too, if it came down to it. Not that you could do much, but you’d try.
“You’re my omega.” John says, reaching across the table to take your hand in his. “I take care of what's mine.”
You nod, trying to fight the tears welling in your eyes. “I know. You've...you've been a better alpha than I could have ever hoped for. Despite everything you've been kind and caring and understanding. I know some things we learned at the institute weren’t right, but...I was expecting a lot worse.”
His thumb draws circles on the back of your hand, his fingers gently squeezing yours. “I'm glad I could prove that wrong. I know this situation is weird and less than ideal, but I fear I'll have to tell Kate she was right. She did pick a good omega.”
You smile, preening a bit under his praise. “That’s all I can try to be.”
“You can be so much more than that.” He says, lifting your hand to his lips. His beard tickles your skin as he presses a line of kisses across the back of your hand before turning it, kissing across your palm to your wrist. He presses his nose against the skin there, inhaling deeply. “You’re sure, about tonight?”
Your fingers brush his cheek as he holds your hand against his face. Your heart is thudding your throat at the proximity, those nervous flutters starting in your stomach again. He’s giving you an out, a chance to take back what you had asked for. You know he wouldn’t blame you. He was more than willing to wait for your heat to start, for when you had no choice, when it would mean less because you would be desperate and needy for him.
You don’t want that, though. You want him to want you before his instincts tell him he does. You want to know he’s not just fulfilling a duty, scratching an itch that’s been tickling him for two years now. You want him to want you as you are now. You want him to choose you.
“Yes.” You say, pressing your palm flat against his cheek. “Just...be gentle with me?”
“Of course.” He says, kissing your palm again. “You change your mind at any time, you tell me, yeah?”
You nod. “Yeah.”
“Good.” He takes your hand in his again, standing from his seat.
Nerves mix with excitement as he pulls you to your feet with him, stepping up close to you. His hand lifts, tilting your chin up. Your stomach flutters as you meet his gaze, his eyes warm and soft as he stares at you. Affection shines in them as his thumb brushes your lip before he’s leaning down, pressing his lips to yours.
The kiss is short and sweet, like the ones you’ve shared with him before. Yet, at the same time it feels different. There’s warmth beginning to blossom under your skin, the kiss not just a simple sign of affection this time. It’s the overture, the appetizer, just a teasing taste of what’s to come.
You hold his hand as he leads you down the hallway, heels clacking on the tile floor. It makes your face warm, the thought that they all know what it means, they can hear it and they know what’s about to happen. They know where you’re going, what you’re about to do.
John opens his door, motioning for you to enter. You haven’t been in any of their rooms yet, you haven’t invaded their own sacred spaces. Your steps are slow and cautious as you breach that barrier, John’s scent washing over you as you step into his room.
It’s neat and tidy, just as you expected it would be. It’s not laid out all that differently from your own, though perhaps a bit more organized and clinical than yours. There’s a shelf next to his nightstand, stuffed with books and what you can assume are souvenirs from places he’s been. There’s stacks of papers on the desk, his clothes and shoes tucked away neatly in their places. His bed is slightly bigger than yours, and you wonder if that’s a perk of his status, or if he pulled some strings once he learned he was getting an omega.
The door clicking shut draws your attention back to John, the click of the handle a finality. You’re doing this. There’s no going back now.
Not that you want to.
John steps up to you, staring down at you. You stare up into his eyes as his hand comes to rest on your waist, his touch hot through the thin fabric of your dress. “You’re sure you want to do this?” He asks, voice rumbling in his chest.
You nod, your hands slowly sliding up his arms, feeling the muscle hidden beneath his dress shirt. “Yes.”
His lips meet yours, beard tickling your skin as he kisses you. You let him lead, leaning into him as he pulls you closer against his chest. He’s so warm, so firm under your hands as you grip his shoulders. His hand slides from your hip to your back, a gasp parting your lips as his calloused fingers touch the bare skin of your back. Goosebumps raise on your skin, a shiver running down your spine at his touch. He tilts his head, taking advantage of your parted lips to slip his tongue into your mouth.
He tastes like wine, a quiet sound leaving your throat as he pulls you tighter against him, pressing your body into his. You can feel all of him, the hard ridges, the strength in his body as he cages you in his arms. Your head is spinning, intoxicated purely by the smell and taste of him.
Something rumbles deep in his chest, your entire body shivering in response. Your fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt, your hips pressed flush against his. You can feel him, the bulge in his pants pressing against your stomach. You’ve been able to smell the musky tinge of arousal in his scent all evening, and you wonder how long he’s been hard. Has it been since he saw you? Or has he been thinking about this all day?
The thought thrills you, makes your omega preen in the back of your mind. You did this. Your alpha is all worked up because of you.
A whimper leaves your lips as his hand slips lower, smoothing over the curve of your ass. He mumbles a curse against your lips before they blaze a path down the line of your jaw to your neck. You tilt your head, bearing your throat for him. A low rumble of approval vibrates through his chest, his hand squeezing your ass. The sound has your omega practically belly up, the dampness between your thighs intensifying as your scent gets heavier in the air.
John groans against your throat, teeth nipping at your neck just over your scent gland. “Such a good girl for me.” He groans, his hand on your ass guiding your hips to grind against his. “Such a good omega.”
You whine at the praise, hands blindly sliding down his chest to pull at the buttons of his shirt. Your fingers are trembling slightly from excitement, fumbling as you attempt to get his shirt off. You need to feel him, his skin against yours, the warmth of him pressed against you.
“Easy pup.” His voice rumbles against your throat, teeth nipping at the delicate skin before he pulls back, hands taking over to strip him of his button up and undershirt.
You lick your lips as his skin is revealed to you, your hand automatically lifting to touch him. You hesitate for a half a second but he makes no move to stop you. Your eyes trail over his form, over the many, many scars that decorate his skin like some kind of macabre painting. Lines and jagged slices, the telltale star shaped marks of bullet wounds. Cuts and nicks from knives or bullets, you can’t tell the difference.
Your fingers settle on a rather large scar on his side, starting at the base of his ribs and curling around his side. It’s an old scar, but the skin is still rough and uneven. Whatever had caused it, it took a chunk out of him. You don’t want to think about it, about how every scar could have been a close call. How many times he’s been on the brink of death.
“I’ll tell you about them later.” He says, taking your hand in his and lifting it to his lips. He kisses your fingertips, his beard tickling your skin. “Tonight is about you.”
He pulls you close again, leaning down to press his lips to yours. His hands are warm against your back as he wraps himself around you again, trapping your hands against his bare chest. Your nails dig into his skin as his hands sink lower, grabbing handfuls of your ass. He groans, sinking his teeth into your bottom lip. He presses you backwards, and you trust him to guide you until your legs hit the side of his bed.
“Gonna be a good girl for me, yeah?” He growls, his voice rough around the edges as his alpha slips through.
“Yes, alpha!” You gasp against his lips, your head tilting back in submission.
“Always such a good omega for me.” He praises you, teeth nipping at your throat. “Good omegas kneel for their alphas.” He says, pushing you backwards so you plop down on his bed. “But a good alpha,” He slowly lowers himself before you, dropping to one knee, then the other as his hands wrap around your ankles. “Kneels for his omega.”
Your face warms as you stare down at him, unable to do anything but watch as his hands make quick work of your shoes, setting them neatly beside the bed. His skin is rough against yours as his hands drag up your legs, slowly parting them. He moves himself closer, kneeling between your parted thighs. His beard scratches the sensitive skin of your inner thigh as he reaches up, pushing on your stomach until you're laying flat on his bed. He can see up your skirt now, and you're silently glad for the lacy panties Johnny had insisted on.
“Do you trust me?” His lips brush your inner thigh as his hands pause just at the hem of your skirt where it's ridden up almost to your hips.
“Yes, alpha.” You say, lifting your head to stare down at him.
He meets your gaze as he presses a kiss to your inner thigh, his hands continuing to press upwards until your dress is hiked around your waist. Your heart is fluttering rapidly in your chest as you stare down at him, his gaze leaving your eyes to stare at the soaked lace barely covering your most private parts.
His hands leave your hips to curl around the lace, giving it a sharp tug. The fabric snaps easily, the shreds falling to the floor. Your lip part as you stare at him in shock.
“I'll buy you a new pair.” He says, his hands gripping your thighs to pull them further apart.
The cool air in the room hits your slicked folds, making you shudder. He's barely touched you and already you can feel how slick you are. His lips press against your inner thigh again, blazing a path upwards. His gaze meets yours again as his hands shift to grip your hips, adjusting your position on the bed before he leans in, dragging his tongue through your folds.
You gasp at the foreign sensation, your thighs pressing against his broad shoulders. His mouth is warm as it closes over your pussy, his tongue licking another slow stripe up your folds until he reaches the spot that has your inhale turning into a gasp.
He focuses his attention there, dragging slow lines across your clit with his tongue. You let your arms give out, laying flat on the bed again. Little whimpers leave your lips as he teases your clit, your thighs already trembling. It’s been so long since you’ve touched yourself. Not since before you left the institute four months ago.
You don’t last very long.
Your thighs squeeze around his shoulders as your orgasm is ripped from you suddenly. You let out a cry that’s probably too loud, but you don’t care who could have heard you as your back arches off the bed, pressing your hips closer to John’s face. His hands hold your thighs, keeping you still as his tongue continues to tease your clit, working you through your orgasm.
It’s not until you’re writhing in his grasp, letting out little whimpers that he relents, lifting his face from between your thighs. His beard is shiny with your juices, his tongue darting out to lick his lips. It’s obscene and yet, it has heat pulsing straight between your legs again. He lets out a chuckle, the scent of your arousal washing over him.
“Fuckin sweet as sugar, love.” He says as he pushes himself up from between your legs, his body folding over yours on the bed.
His face presses into your neck, inhaling deeply. Your pussy flutters at the thought of him claiming you now, sinking his teeth into your skin to mark you as his forever. He could. It would be so easy for him to do it. His tongue laves over the skin covering your scent gland, a shiver running through you. Your arms wrap around him, holding him against you as your scents mingle, musky with arousal.
“Alpha...” You whine, your hips pressing up against the bulge in his pants. He’s fully hard now, the fabric of his pants providing delicious friction against your folds.
He shushes you, pressing a kiss to your throat before he pushes himself up over you. “Soon, love.” He says, moving until he’s standing in front of you. “Think you’re a bit overdressed still.”
Your eyes dart down to his pants. “So are you.”
He smirks, his hands dropping to your waist, slowly pushing your dress up higher. You let him slip it over your head, lifting your arms to help him. You’re bare before him, warmth spreading through your veins as he stares down at you. Your hands lift, coming to rest on his thighs. You can feel the muscle through the fabric, the strength of him beneath your hands. How easily he could take control, pin you down and take what he wants with little regard for you or your pleasure. How easily he could hurt you, snap your bones like they’re toothpicks, bruise and batter your body without even straining a muscle.
Yet he stands here, patiently watching as your hands move closer and closer to the prominent bulge in his fitted pants. He doesn’t even twitch as your hand cups his hard length, your breath stuttering at the sheer size of him. He’s big like most alphas are, or so you’ve heard.
His eyes stare into you as you undo his belt, popping the button on his pants open. He finally moves as you pull down the zipper, helping you tug his pants and briefs down. His cock stands at attention, almost as stiff as he is. You stare at his veiny cock with wide eyes, the tip flushed almost red with how hard he is.
“Christ.” You breathe, staring at him in awe.
You did that.
“Easy, love.” He says, leaning down to wrap an arm around your waist. “I said tonight was about you.”
He moves you so you’re laid out on the bed, your head hitting his pillow. The scent of him floods your nose as he joins you on the bed, the frame creaking as he kneels between your legs. Nerves twist in your stomach as you continue to stare at his cock bobbing between his thighs as he runs his hands along your legs. It’s going to hurt, you know that. It suddenly seems daunting, this request. At least during your heat you’d be so out of it with need you wouldn’t really feel anything. And you’d have plenty of slick to help.
“None of that.” He says, squeezing your thighs gently. “I told you I’d take care of you.”
You nod, swallowing thickly.
“We’ve got more work to do before we reach that point. I’m not just going to stuff my cock into you like some needy pup.” He stares at you. “You tell me and I’ll stop, alright?”
You nod again. “Yes, alpha.”
Your breath hitches as his hands reach the junction of your thighs, one moving to your stomach, the other dragging through your folds, gathering your wetness on his fingers. They’re so much thicker than your own, your pussy clenching as he presses against the entrance.
“Relax for me, love.” He says, rubbing gentle circles on your stomach with his thumb.
His finger presses into you and your lips part at the intrusion. You clamp tight around his finger, making him groan.
“Easy.” He says, his thumb moving to circle your clit.
A breathy whine leaves your lips as his finger presses deeper into you, reaching further than you ever could. Your hand reaches up to thread through his hair, letting the short cropped strands slide through your fingers. It’s softer than you imagined, though you expect he too had spent the afternoon preparing for tonight as well. The mental image of him lathering himself in moisturizer would have made you laugh if his finger hadn’t brushed against a spot inside you that has your hips lifting off the bed.
He leans down, lips blazing a path up your stomach, between your breasts to your throat. He swallows your moans as he works you open with his fingers, the lewd sound of his fingers thrusting into your wet pussy only adding to the pleasure coursing through you. You can feel it building within you, heat burning through your veins. Price groans against your lips as your nails scratch his scalp, his cock leaking against your thigh. You want him, need him inside of you. You need to feel him, you need to be close to him.
“Alpha, please.” You whimper, tugging at his hair.
He stares down at you, eyes blown with lust. “Please, what?”
“Need you.” You whimper, grinding against his hand. “Please, sir.”
Price closes his eyes, letting out a groan. His cock twitches against your thigh, his fingers slipping from you. He breathes out a curse, shifting to open his nightstand. He pulls out a bottle of lube, sitting back on his knees to squirt some into his hand. You’re plenty slick, but you watch as he rubs the lube on his cock, tossing the bottle back into the open drawer.
He kneels between your thighs again, staring down at you as one of his hands comes to rest on your hip. You feel intoxicated, your head spinning from the intensity of his scent around you and the knowledge of what’s about to happen.
Price folds his body over yours again, the head of his cock brushing your folds. You moan into his mouth as he kisses you, parting your thighs further for him as his tip catches on your opening. Your hands grip his shoulders as he presses into you, the stretch stinging a bit as he works you open. This is it. There’s no going back now.
You don’t want to.
You whimper quietly as he pushes into you, nails biting into his skin. It’s too much, yet you can’t get enough of it as he sinks further in. You let out a shaky breath as he pulls away from your lips staring down at your face.
“Alright?” He asks, stilling where he is.
You nod. “Just need a moment. You’re really big.”
His lips twitch up into a smile, a pleased growl rumbling through his chest. “Don’t start talking like that, love.” He says, leaning down to press kisses to your face.
“Or what?” You ask, your nails digging harder into his skin.
“I might not be able to control myself.” He growls, his alpha slipping out around the edges of his voice.
Your pussy clenches at his words, walls clamping down around him. He lets out another growl, hiking your leg up over his hip. It forces him deeper into you, your breath catching at the feeling of him spreading you open.
“Fuck,” You breathe, rocking your hips to take him even deeper into you.
John’s arms frame your head as he presses his body against yours. Your arms slip around his back, legs locking around his waist as he begins to move slowly, working himself deeper and deeper into you until he’s pressed flush against you. He stills for a moment, pressing his forehead to yours as you both breathe. You’re trembling just slightly, overwhelmed with being so close to him, to your alpha. The pain and discomfort is gone, replaced by burning heat as desire pulses through your veins.
“Please, alpha.” You whimper.
He shushes you, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. “I’ve got you, omega.”
Your skin is slick with sweat already as he begins to rock his hips into you. Your hands press into his back, feeling the muscles shift and flex as he moves. It feels good, the friction of your bodies, the way he stretches you open with every thrust. Your head is spinning with pleasure at the thought of being so close to another person, being so connected with someone else.
Not just someone else, with your alpha.
The wet squelch of your pussy as he thrusts into you is loud, the mattress creaking as he picks up speed. You’re trembling, your thighs squeezing around his hips as he pushes you closer and closer to the edge. You’re not sure how he’s lasted this long, especially without any sort of release for himself yet tonight.
Perhaps it was the training he spoke about earlier.
You’re not sure how he manages it. You couldn’t have that kind of control. Not after this. Not after knowing how good it can feel, how good he can make you feel.
“Fucking feel so good.” He grunts, his breath fanning her ear. His own skin is slicked with sweat, muscles twitching under her hands. “So fucking tight and warm.”
“John!” You gasp, digging your fingers into his shoulder blades as he picks up the pace even more, his hips snapping against yours.
“Gonna cum for me? Gonna cum like a good omega? Need you to cum for me.” He grunts, staring down at you.
You let out a whine, arching against him as you seek your second high of the night. His cock brushes that spot inside of you, stars nearly erupting behind your eyes.
“Right there.” You gasp, thighs shaking around his hips. “Fuck, right there!”
You’re being loud but you don’t care, nails dragging down his back as he focuses his thrusts right at that spot inside you. You cum with a cry, pussy squeezing around him. He lets out a loud groan, his hips stilling as he twitches inside you. His muscles go lax, his body falling on top of yours. He manages to keep himself from squishing you beneath him, his face pressing against your neck.
The smell of sex, arousal, sweat, and your own combined scents are heavy in the air. You’re shaking, still wrapped tightly around John as he lays on top of you. He’s breathing heavily, warm breaths fanning against your neck. You don’t want to move, your mind buzzing with the aftershocks of your orgasm still.
“Alright?” He murmurs, lips pressing a gentle kiss against your throat.
You nod, slowly unwinding yourself from around him. “Yeah. ‘M good.”
“Fucking Christ, a man could get addicted to that.” He says, lifting his face from your neck. “Sweet little omega.”
Your face warms more than it already feels, and you lean into his touch as his fingers brush your cheek.
“Let me go get something to clean this mess up with.” He says, pushing himself up so he’s kneeling.
You can’t help but giggle as his joints pop and he lets out a groan at the effort. “Need a break, old man.”
His eyes flash playfully, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “Going with the old man insults again, huh?”
You give him a look. “You’re the one grunting while getting up.”
You let out a surprised yelp as he brings his hand down on your thigh, the skin tingling as he gets up. “I’ll show you old man.” He murmurs as he heads for his en suite.
You bite your lip as you begin to feel his release slipping out of you, the feeling causing desire to stir in your stomach once more.
John tsks as he comes back, wiping the mess between your thighs. “Needy little thing.” He practically purrs, stepping away to toss the rag into the bathroom sink before he returns, climbing back onto the bed.
You press as close to him as you can, nuzzling into his neck. Your limbs are still twitching a bit, your mind buzzing from the aftermath of what had just transpired. John wraps his arms around you, holding you close to his chest. You press a gentle kiss to his neck, earning a rumble in response. Your own rumble starts up as you purr contently, tossing a leg over his hip to allow you to get as close to him as possible.
He huffs out a laugh, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Comfortable?”
You purr louder in response, sleep beginning to fog the corners of your mind.
“Good girl.” He says, pressing another kiss to your head. “Sleep. Alpha’s got you.”
NEXT ->
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how to ask / motivate your favorite fanfic writers to post new works / update a new chapter WITHOUT rushing them or sounding entitled and rude;
don’t comment “when” or “will there be a next chapter” or “will you continue this?” quite frankly, these type of comments can sound like you’re demanding from your favorite writer, even if it may not be your intention.
if you’d love a sequel or are wondering when or if the fic will be updated, try something like “I love this so much!” *bonus if you explain why you love the fic or what you love about it* and then add something along the line of “if there’s a part 2 of this, I would be so excited / would absolutely love to read it!”
the trick is to avoid a blunt question like “will there be a part 2?” or “it’s been so long. when will you update?” etc.
honestly, DON’T ever comment something like “it’s been ___ months, ___ years” or “I don’t think the author will continue this lol” that’s one of the most effective ways to make sure your favorite author doesn’t come back to your favorite fic, and it’s just so… dishearteningly rude.
it doesn’t matter if it’s been months or years since the author’s last update, demanding and rushing them will most likely NOT give you the result you want.
reminder that fanfic authors are humans with lives and jobs outside of writing fanfiction, especially when fanfic is something they do in their free time out of love and passion, and you — the reader — get to read their works for free.
rushing and demanding will only make it sound like ‘a task that needs to get done’ for your favorite author, and it sucks out the joy of writing out of love and passion. it can be so discouraging for the authors.
fanfic authors don’t owe you anything.
even if they completely abandon the fic, it still doesn’t give you the right to be rude to them or to ask why they stopped writing or to coerce them into giving you what you want.
I can never say this enough; fanfic authors write in their free time, FOR FREE, out of love and passion. and you get to read their works FOR FREE because they’re kind enough to share their love for their comfort characters with you.
they don’t owe you anything.
it’s okay if you’re wondering when or if they’ll post something new, but it’s not okay to rush or demand from them.
comments are mostly what motivate authors into writing faster, so if you want your favorite authors to post more, comment about what you love about their works, express your gratitude to them for giving you these amazing fics for free, but don’t be an entitled reader by rushing or directly asking when they’ll update.
let’s keep fandom space safe and comforting for both writers and readers.
#comment#comments#writing#writer#ao3#archive of our own#blorbo#comfort character#fandom#fandoms#writers on ao3#writers on tumblr#fanfic#fanfiction#writeblr#whump#whumpblr#how to ao3#whump community#fanfic writing#fanfic writers#fanfic writer#angst#whump blog#writing community
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