#this was made with sonny carisi in mind

[sematarygirls]

no bc i fr want to give this man the nastiest, sloppiest, most unholy, sheet gripping, toe curling, eye rolling, jaw clenching, mouth watering, breathtaking, leg trembling, heart attack inducing, exorcism causing, sweat pouring, mortifying, paralyzing, beastly, foul, electrifying, earth shattering head known to mankind

[cathrrrine]

Perfect / Love Won’t Die

Dominick “Sonny” Carisi x Reader • Law and Order SVU • Domestic Fluff, AFAB!Reader

Summary: Sonny happily holds the bouquet of flowers he bought for his girlfriend only for her to open the door and start crying. He immediately panics, but soon finds himself amused when she reveals the true reason for her tears. AO3

A/N: I’ve never posted any of my SVU imagines, but I had to with this one :) Happy 2024! My resolution is to post more of my work so I’m digging through all my drafts and posting them lol. Enjoy husband material Carisi <3

In all the six months you had been dating Sonny, there were never many problems that couldn’t be resolved with a simple conversation or a hug and a kiss on the cheek. As far as Sonny was concerned, it was the perfect relationship. He had gotten to know all your little habits; likes and dislikes, pet peeves, niche obsessions. Six months wasn’t exactly a super long time but it wasn’t short either. After only half a year of dating each other, he’d confidently testify that he had fallen in love with you deeply, enough to want to spend the rest of his life with you. He was happy to get married, have babies, grow old together…the whole shebang.

Things were going steady with you. He couldn’t imagine himself being with anybody else, and he was over the moon to know that you felt the samw way. Long late-night conversations about the future the two of you dreamed of revealed that you wanted him to be a part of it as much as he wanted you. Sure, Sonny was aware of how much of a (hopeless) romantic he could be sometimes, but that was in the past, and all of those relationships weren’t with the right people. His sisters had been talking his ear off ever since high school, warning him about women that would only break his heart. It made him wince just to think about all the red flags they ticked off angrily; gold-diggers, manipulators, emotionally unstable women, emotionally unavailable women…and the likes of it. That and their own broken-heart experiences that prompted very fuelled lectures of examples of men Sonny shouldn’t follow always rang in his mind, even until now.

He’d also been made well aware of how right they were about his exes with a bunch of ‘I told you so’s’ and narrowed eyes, but those relationships were in the past and he was much, much younger (and dumber) than he is now. He only had a couple of serious relationships in his adulthood, which ended up not being the right fit for either parties. Then, his love life got buried under the heavy, heavy load of police work and law school and he never found the time to make himself available in the dating pool. He was always too tired, too beat, too mentally drained. It was never a priority.

Then everything came to a stop and his whole world wouldn’t do anything but revolve around you. Sonny was smitten, like a lovesick puppy who got shot by cupid’s nuclear-powered bazooka as fate would have it.

He never felt this way about anyone in his life before, it was a feeling he relished in and was adamant on not letting go.

You were perfect.

Obviously, you had your flaws, but all only human, none of them fatal. Like how you had a habit of ordering too much food but he ends up being the one to finish it up when you realised your eyes had been bigger than your appetite — but he didn’t mind that at all, in fact he secretly loved being able to feast like a King — or how sometimes, you would arrive 10 minutes late to your dates on one of your busiest weeks, which he never complained about because he had his fair share of being unpunctual as well. Plus, you always made it up to him one way or another.

You were absolutely perfect, inside and out. Sonny thanked God everyday for sending a woman as smart, beautiful and kind as you his way. He’s never felt so lucky.

Sonny knew and loved everything about you, down to your weirdest quirks. If there was a Jeopardy! game where the topic was You, he’d be waving around his trophy like a mad man. What you didn’t tell him, he learned. It was the same way you got to know him. The two of you were always honest with each other, trust being the pillar of your relationship, it was why you got along so well. You knew how to make him happy, as he did for you.

So, why is it that you were crying as he handed you a bouquet of your favourite flowers as soon as you opened the door to your apartment?

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” His sweet smile dropped to a concerned frown, uncomfortable and nervous at your sudden reaction.

There you were in front of him, dressed in your most comfortable pair of pyjama pants and an oversized tee that he was sure once belonged to him, messy hair up that he found extremely adorable. Nothing seemed out of place, except for the fact that…well, you were crying.

He always brought you flowers. Was he late? He glanced at the clock on your wall. No…was it something he said? Something he did? Something…he totally forgot about?

“Nothing- no, everything’s fine, nothing’s wrong.” You sniffed, hugging the fresh bouquet close to your chest, dipping your nose into the floral fragrance to smell it only to find that the tears had triggered an onslaught of snot. That only made you cry more.

The bubble of nerves in Sonny’s chest was bursting at this point, he was almost worried he was having a heart attack. “Doll, you’re crying, something’s wrong.”

He held out an arm to pull you into a hug and you eagerly sunk into his embrace. You buried your face into the fabric of his suit jacket, breathing in what you could of his faded perfume. His calloused hands stroked your hair, softly caressing your head as he cradled it. He gently peeled you off of him to get a better look of your face, now red and eyes puffy from sobbing.

He held your cheeks between his palms and you pouted, looking up at him with sad doe-like eyes, and if that didn’t break his heart that he must not have one because the look on your face was shattering him in every possible way right now. One of his thumbs swiped a fresh tear off your cheek, he felt you nuzzle into his hand.

The tall blond gently led you to your couch and set the flowers down on the coffee table before cuddling up with you close to his chest. You wrapped your arms around him desperately, wanting nothing more than to be absolutely engulfed by everything Sonny — scent, skin and biceps.

“You’re killing me sweetheart, you gotta tell me what’s gotten you all upset like this.” You felt him kiss the top of your head and love bloomed in your chest immediately. “Come on, doll, what’s up?”

You sighed, big and loud, huffing away all the choked up tears with one big breath. “I swear it’s nothing. I’m so stupid.”

He was quiet for a while until you felt his voice vibrate from his chest again, “Was it…me? Did I do something wrong?”

You whipped your head to look at him, only to be greeted with a very worried expression.

Oh, Sonny. Oh, sweet heavenly innocent Sonny. How could you not love this man with every fibre of your being when he’s got that look in his eyes? The one where his pupils are so dilated, you could see your reflection in his big, blue puppy eyes.

How could you have been so careless?! Of course he’d think you were crying because of him, the sweet stupid man — God, you loved him so much. The thought only made you more emotional…and just like that the waterworks came rushing back in.

“Oh, God, Sonny-“ you hiccuped, pulling yourself away from him to put your face in your hands. “I’m so sorry- it’s not your fault at all,”

The lovesick, worried-sick man shot up next to you to pull you into his arms once again, stomach churning at the wave of emotions you were going through. He couldn’t even detective his way through this, his mind going haywire with every sniff that came from you.

“Then what is it?” He tried to keep the panic out of his voice, “Did something happen at work? Is it that asshole again?”

With what he dealt with at his job, it wasn’t out of the question for his mind to be going down that dark path, but he shoved his anger and panic down to focus on your well-being, remaining rational until you were calm.

That made you shoot up to look at him again, words tumbling out of your mouth hurriedly to curb his worries. “No, no! I’m okay, I’m absolutely fine, Todd — that ass — didn’t do anything to me, I promise you, I swear to God. And it’s not you, it’s not anything even remotely related to anything sane at all. I don’t even know why I’m getting all worked up over a bunch of random things, it’s just so—“

“Doll.” Your boyfriend’s voice pulled you out of your rambling. The loving concern that radiated off of him was enough to bring you back to your senses. Gently, he asked again. “What is it?”

You melted immediately, both embarrassed and exhausted from all the sobbing you had been doing. “I’m on my period.”

Oh.

Oh!

“I know, I’m not usually this emotionally affected but my hormones are all over the place and my TV decided to autoplay The Notebook, now I’m a mess.” You sniffed. “I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have seen me like this, much less deal with me.”

It was only then that the detective noticed the TV screen, paused on Ryan Gosling’s frowning face.

He tried to stifle his amusement, but it came out in a fit of giggles, much to your dismay.

“It’s not funny.” You pouted.

“I just— I thought—“ His laughter consumed him, shoulders shaking as he held up his palms to his face and ran his fingers through his hair, uncaring of how it would mess it up. Sonny leaned back into the couch and continued to laugh with his hands over his face.

“I’m sorry.” Your voice was so quiet it came out like a squeak, ashamed of how you cried like a baby in front of him. Although the two of you spent plenty times over at each other’s places and hanging out with each other, over the six months he knew you, you never had your hormones hit you this hard. It wasn’t uncommon to you, but it wasn’t a regular occurrence either, and it certainly wasn’t an event Sonny had the pleasure of experiencing…until today.

“It’s okay if you’d prefer to be at your own place right now, I totally get it. I won’t be offended in the least, okay? I’ll call you in the morning.” Some men in the past have been weirded out when this happened to you, so you weren’t lying when you said you wouldn’t be offended — it was ‘your fault’ anyway, that was what you had grown accustomed to.

But Sonny, the ever-loving and understanding guy, did not share the same view. Of course not! Raised-with-sisters, loves-his-mother, thoroughly Italian, good-Catholic-man-who-respects-women Sonny, would never in a million years ever even think about being upset with you just because your period messed with your emotions. And that’s why you weren’t sure why you were so surprised when he responded to your offer with a kiss.

This was Sonny. He would never think lowly of you because of something you couldn’t control.

“That’s crazy talk, doll.” He mumbled into the kiss, smiling as he continued to love on your lips. “I’d never leave you alone like this.”

You pulled away a bit to properly look at his face, “Really?”

This was the man your heart belonged to. You don’t know how you didn’t explode when he gave you the most charming smile that ever graced his lips.

“Really.”

Everything you were worried about solved itself into place, like sentient puzzle pieces figuring themselves out with confidence.

“You’re too good for me.”

Unabashedly, you continued to make out with your boyfriend on your couch, a newfound appreciation driving you mad with love.

“I’m only for you, babe. Don’t need anyone or anything else but you.”

———

Now that the two of you were freshened up and settled down with mugs of hot cocoa in your hands, you and Sonny were much more at ease.

There was nothing better to Sonny than to be cuddled up with his girlfriend with her head laying on his chest. You practically clung to the arm draped over your shoulder, making a nest out of his bicep for your face — which reminded him of a koala bear, but he kept that thought to himself. He was so comfortable, so happy that this was his life. His nose pressed against your hair, the scent of your shampoo reminding him of a holiday well-spent together in Mexico. Deja Vu hit him the minute he kissed your head, laughing through his nose when he remembered the events that happened just a few hours prior.

“Hey,” he nudged you with the arm you were glued to. You pulled your focus from the movie you were watching — a comedy, nothing that would make the ‘bloody demon hormones possess me’ as you put it — and raised your eyebrows curiously in response. “I’m just wonderin’…”

“Hmm?”

“Why did you cry when I gave you the flowers?”

You groaned, still somewhat embarrassed at the flurry of emotions you attacked the innocent man with. But you humoured the question anyway, “I opened the door and you were standing there, so handsome and so sickeningly charming, holding up flowers that you brought for me. You should be worried if I didn’t cry.”

“Wow,” he whistled. “I’m really that handsome, huh?”

You playfully hit him in the chest with your fist as you resumed your initial position, “Shut up.” A smirk managed to rip it’s way through your lips. “But mostly, I was crying because I was so sad that the flowers were going to die. I don’t know, just weird how my brain works on my period.”

It was a nonchalant mention, nothing big to you, but it stuck to his mind. Flowers dying made you upset. How precious was that? He catalogued the thought, filing it away for the future. The inkling of humour tempted him, though.

“So, not so much on the handsome part?”

You snorted, “Eh, I’ll give it a 60/40.”

“It should be in the news or something. ‘Guy So Handsome, Makes A Grown Woman Cry’” he gestured in the air as if there was a banner.

“How about, ‘Girl So Hormonal, Makes A Grown Man Cry With Her’?”

“Psh, I didn’t cry.”

“You so were.”

“Was not.”

You laughed, thinking he’d given it up when the sound of the movie began to fade into your hearing again.

“You should come over the precinct, tell the guys how I can make the ladies cry just by showing up at their door.”

He wore that goofy, toothy grin you were so accustomed to whenever he was joking around.

You rolled your eyes. Then decided to mess with him. “Excuse me? Ladies? Plural?”

The grin immediately wiped off of his face. “No- I meant lady, as in singular.”

“Mhmm.”

“I mean— no, that’s not what—“

“Sure, Son.” The monotonous voice you used made him sweat.

“You know you’re the only gal for me! I was just joking…hey, baby, come on, look at me…”

———

Months passed by and relationship milestones came and went. You finally met his family on month eight, and him yours. Month ten, you got a promotion at work and thankfully — not by your doing — Todd left the company. Sonny and the rest of the SVU team made a breakthrough on a case, you met his coworkers you heard so much about for the first time when he brought you along for their celebratory dinner. He was teased relentlessly for ‘keeping such a wonderful woman from us all this time’. You enjoyed the camaraderie that they shared with each other, and felt like you won a prize when they extended it to you.

Time passed by you so fast that you barely noticed it was almost a full year since you and Sonny made it official.

The day of your anniversary, he made reservations for the two of you at a fancy restaurant — Italian, of course. You reminisced the journey of your relationship together over some fine dining and a delightful bottle of wine. The ambiance, mixed with the light-headed feeling from one too many glasses of wine, only made the love you had for Sonny so much more emphasised. It was a dream, to be loved by such an amazing man, to have found your soulmate. If you weren’t at such busy points of your career, you’d literally have his babies right then and there. A couple of mini Sonny’s would do the world good, you pondered. Unbeknownst to you, the subject of your thoughts was thinking the exact same thing, only he was dreaming up a babble of mini You’s instead.

Sonny and you walked home together — he had basically moved into your apartment by now, he was finding it harder and harder to be separated from you at night. Having you next to him made him sleep better, and just generally being around you made him feel better — the two of you never made his move-in an official thing, but there was no need to. It was almost like you shared a telepathic connection. Although, Sonny being Sonny, will make the moving in an official thing whether you needed to or not. Maybe into an actual house, with a backyard and a huge kitchen and a family to raise in to make it a home. One day. Maybe even tomorrow. He’d do anything, anytime with you.

“Got you something, by the way.” He grinned, keys jangling on the doorknob as he swung it open for you.

“Sonny, you didn’t have to.” You blushed. One year together and he still had that effect on you.

“Well, I wanted to.”

While you were taking off your shoes, he used it as a distraction to take it out of the hiding spot he so carefully planned — his height being an advantage to said plan — and waddled over in his socks to where you were sitting on the couch, handing it to you once he was sat as well.

It was a daintily patterned gift bag, not too big and not too small either, with a card attached to it on the front. You carefully removed it to read his words in neat handwriting.

Happy 1 year anniversary, doll. I love you so much. You make me the luckiest man alive. My love for you will never die.

You wanted to cry, so touched by his short but undeniably sweet words. He saw how your bottom lip jutted out, the way it usually did when emotions got the best of you, and smiled to himself with a bit of pride in getting his words right.

Slowly, you pried the top of the bag open, only discovering a plastic dome. “Careful.” Your boyfriend noted.

You wondered what it was, going over all the possibilities in your head as you took it out of the bag; lava lamp, necklace, tiny bottle, lantern…only to gasp when you saw what it really was inside.

A small sphere-shaped cactus with a crown of pink flowers, placed inside a white ceramic pot with the words, ‘My love for you will never die’ engraved in cursive writing around it.

Ahhhh, here come the waterworks.

“Sonny,” your eyebrows scrunched up, lips fully pouting now. “This is the sweetest fucking gift ever.”

Your use of words didn’t go unnoticed by the smiling man, earning you a chuckle out of him. “I remember the time you cried when I brought you flowers, and you told me it was because you were sad ‘bout them dying…it’s cheesy, I know. Corny, a bit. But I thought you’d like it.”

The rising inflection of his voice gave away his nerves, but you were quick to make your appreciation known. “I do, I do! It’s just the most beautiful and thoughtful gift anyone’s ever given me. Thank you, baby. I’m- Aw…“

You choked up and he took that as his cue to pull you into his arms, careful to set the prickly plant down so you wouldn’t accidentally get hurt.

“It’s true though, my love will never die. You’re stuck with me for as long as you want me.”

“You know I’m shit at keeping plants alive, Son!” You couldn’t help the wavering in your voice, “Oh, but this is just so, so sweet. You’re just too cute for your own good.”

“Well, I was cute enough for you to accept the babbling guy who asked you out a year ago.” The giggling that followed made his blue eyes seem brighter.

“Yeah, I couldn’t say no to that face.”

You took the comfortable silence that ensued as a segue to your own offering to him, “Speaking of this cactus being put at the risk of dying, I’m gonna have to appoint someone to remind me it needs water every now and then.”

“I’m assuming that would be me?”

“Yup.” You shifted around to look through your purse. “So, I was thinking…”

Sonny narrowed his eyes at you, “Thinking…?”

You held out your palm and reached out for his, dropping a familiar weight into his hands. As soon as you pulled your hands away, the object revealed itself to be a single silver key with a brown leather strap keychain attached to the ring, ‘Det. Carisi’ engraved on one side and ‘Sonny’ on the other.

He looked up at you, meeting eager eyes that matched his own. You were practically bouncing with giddiness, excited to reach yet another milestone.

“Move in with me? Officially?”

God, you were so perfect.

“Abso-fucking-lutely.”

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Hi lovely 😊 Wanted to offer a story idea that popped into my head in case it inspired you. Otherwise feel free to ignore!

The reader has never had an orgasm. She’s had sex before, just has never come. It’s her first time sleeping with Sonny, and he almost effortlessly gets her to come with just his hands. Her mind is blown, Sonny’s shocked that you'd never had one before, and his ego is boosted sky high knowing that he was able to give you your first 😆

Sonny Carisi: Pursuit Of Pleasure NSFW 

I’m so sorry this took so long to get out. I have been in such a funk and have been having a really hard time getting words down on paper. I really liked this idea so I hope I did it justice as I’m coming out of my writer's block.  

You smiled at Sonny as he laid you back onto his bed, his lips kissing and sucking at your throat and down your collarbone. You felt a heat build in your lower stomach. It was pleasant and warm. You knew it wouldn't last. If never did. 

It was his fault. It was nobody’s fault. You simply couldn’t orgasm.  

You could, however, enjoy the buildup before it inevitably faded. You sink into his hot open-mouthed kisses, enjoying the feel of his rough hands caressing your body. The delectable roll of his hips against yours, his hard cock pressing against your wet center. He had stripped you almost bare. Only your soaked panties remain. His hand snuck between your bodies rubbing you through the cotton material. You arch his mouth that is sucking at your nipple and he bites teasingly making you groan. 

Sonny moves your panties to the side pushing a finger into your wanting entrance pumping it inside of you. Another shortly follows as he picks up his pace curling his fingers deep inside you. The heat pulls tighter in your lower stomach as you unconsciously rock your hips in time with his movements. His thumb finds you clit and starts rubbing gentle but firm circles against it.  

Your nails dig into his back as you feel the pressure build and curl tighter and tighter. You wait for it to disappear. It doesn’t. “Sonny,” You feel strange and out of control as it tightens to a snapping point. You collapse against the bed as waves of white-hot pleasure echo through your body. His ministrations don’t stop and it is almost too much to take as aftershocks of pleasure shoot through you curling your toes. 

You lay there completely boneless and gasping trying to get your neurons to start firing properly again. Sonny notices your reaction and caresses your cheek comfortingly. “You still with me Doll?” You meet your boyfriend's concerned gaze. Then you scan him in disbelief. He had made you come.  

You had slept with a handful of men who had tried to get you off. The more considerate ones had spent almost an hour trying and failing. But Dominick Carisi- he could get you off in less than ten minutes, still mostly dressed using his fingers. That was insane. You could barely believe it and you had just experienced it. “You...you made come.” You were breathless and in awe. 

Sonny’s eyebrows scrunched as he chuckled, “Well yeah, that was the goal. A woman should always come first.” His words were nonchalant.

“It was first,” Sonny still looked a little confused as he nodded along with you, “No, Sonny- like my first ever.” His face went blank and then the look of disbelief took over his own features.  

“Like ever, ever?” You echoed his words in agreement. “You’re a virgin?” Your face flushed brightly with embarrassment. 

“No, I’ve had sex before. I’ve just never- you know.” You trailed off. 

“Orgasmed.” He supplied and you covered your face with your hands trying to turn into the bed. He pushed gently at your shoulder to keep you on your back. “Hey, hey, hey,” He soothed, “It’s okay, it's nothing to be embarrassed about- at least nothing you should be embarrassed about.” He brushes your hands away to press a kiss to your lips. “I’m honored to be the first.” A cocky grin takes over his face, his eyes darkening with lust. “But it won’t be your last of the night. That was just light foreplay baby. Tonight, I’m going to take you on a pursuit of pleasure that you will never forget. And I’m going to start by eating you out until your legs shake.” Your core clenches hard as the flame relights in your belly at his words.   

Taglist:

@polkadotpenguin16 

@pulparindos 

@rebeccapineapple 

[rafaslittleboy]

I need to say this anonymously because I feel so dirty for thinking this but oh my god step brother Sonny with a breeding kink (maybe his wife can’t have kids but Sonny wants some?) so he holds you down (dub-con? I suppose, maybe a slightly established relationship.) and pumps you full of his cum going on about how you’ll look so good with his babies HAHDQJFJANDNAJ I NEED TO TEAR MY SKIN OFF I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT ugh just give me your babies pls Sonny

OMFGSHSB tws: stepcest, breeding kink, consensual step-incest, sly sex, quiet sex, dirty talk, coercion, AFAB reader, no gendered pronouns or persons or names, slight religious guilt.

NSFW under the cut

@noellawrites ❤️

Sonny’s hand was pressed against your mouth, trying to keep you as quiet as possible. The carisi household was either a quiet house or a house that was a few decibels higher than it should be. And right now, there was an unnatural middle—kids running around, the adults laughing downstairs—but if you made any noise higher than a whimper or a low moan, there would be a fifty percent chance it would be heard.

Tucked away in a bedroom closet, sonny was grinding his exposed cock on your wet with arousal underwear. Propped up on a low shelf, the position was just good enough for a quick, good fuck.

But sonny liked to take his time, to tease you.

“please,” you begged. It was muffled by his hand, and you tore your eyes from the cock that was rubbing against your clothed swollen clit.

“What was that?” Sonny teased, “couldn’t hear ya, need to speak up, kiddo.”

your hips tilted to try and catch the tip of his cock, but he was more skilled than you and continued to drag his cock on your crotch.

Sonny was kind, though, and he took his hand off your mouth temporarily to hear you out.

“please put your cock in me,” you begged, lust took over your body and mind that there wasn’t any shyness behind your voice. Only need.

Sonny smirked, “depends, baby… ya gonna make me put on a condom?”

Sonny knew your thoughts on protection; you figured you were too young to have a baby, with your whole life ahead of you—you didn’t want a baby to throw your life off track. With a shitty barista cafè job, still living with your mom and step-father at twenty-one years old and in college debt; this would be the worst time to get pregnant.

“Sonny…” you closed your eyes.

“C’mon… baby, would it really be that bad? Ya could move in with me—I’ll take care ‘a ya n’ the baby,”

Sonny’s mind was lust-clouded as well, but he meant what he said. If you got pregnant with his baby? He’d step up, be the father he was born to be.

“I can’t, sonny…”

Sonny pulled your damp underwear to the side and the fat, red head of his cock kissed your clit and you let out a low moan.

“Ya ever thought ‘bout how good it’ll feel when I go in raw, baby? Ever touch ya’self to the thought of me cummin’ in ya?”

You have, and you did. The condom was always put on because sonny respected you and respected the fact you didn’t want to get knocked up—and if you did, explaining to your parents that the father of your child was your own step-brother wouldn’t go down easily, either.

Your legs spread a little wider when he started to grind his cock through your wet pussy lips, closing your eyes to focus on the delight between your legs.

“Least lemme put it in raw, doll,” Sonny asked and he placed the pad of his thumb on your clit and rubbed slowly to further convince you. And it didn’t take much to do so.

“fuck… okay,” you breathe, agreeing.

Sonny smiled, gleefully, and bit his bottom lip as he eased the tip of his fat cock inside you.

The burn was what got you first, and after so long without having your big brother inside you, it felt brand new.

The moan that left your mouth was louder than he wanted, “shh—quiet,” he warned, and he slid a hand from your thigh to your cheek, and he put his thumb in your mouth.

“Feelth’s s’tho goothd,” you slurred around his thumb, and your eyelids were half-lidded. And his tip was barely inside you.

“Feels betta’ without a condom, huh?” Sonny smirked as he eased more of himself inside your sopping, tight pussy.

You nodded repeatedly, and your eyes glanced down to his cock slipping inside you and your eyelids fluttered shut.

“‘Magine how good it’ll feel if I cum in ya, baby.. feelin’ me spill inside of ya, fillin’ ya up….”

You moaned around his digit and tipped your head back against the cramped wall. His cock started to move inside of you, and you had forgotten what he felt like inside you, and then you wondered how you went so long without him pumping inside you.

Sonny took his thumb out from your mouth and used it to rub your clit, and you had to bite your lip to keep yourself quiet. “Really wanna fill ya up, baby,” Sonny moaned, tipping his head to the side.

Your pussy was unlike anything he’s ever felt before, so tight and grips him in the best way possible—and all he thinks about is cumming deep inside of you, filling you up and knocking you up. Hell, if his own girlfriend put out a little more then he wouldn’t have to drive all the way home to fuck his step-sibling—but by god, he loves it. Addicted, almost. The way your body gripped him and never wanted to let him go, how your arousal dripped from your pussy as he fucked you—no one has reacted as you have.

Your walls fluttered around his cock, the first telltale sign that you were close to an orgasm and with the added pleasure of his thumb rubbing your clit, it was happening fast.

You never expected a nice, long, sensual fuck in a cramped bedroom closet. The top of your step-brothers head had to hunch over as not to smack against the high shelf with each hard thrust of his hips. And Sonny knew your body somehow better than yourself, playing it like an instrument for so many years now. Imagining it as he touched himself as night.

“Ya gonna cum, baby?” Sonny groaned.

You nodded, feeling your lower pelvis bubble with anticipation of the orgasm creeping up on you.

“Uh huh,” you moaned.

Sonny’s cock moved inside you harder, banging you hard against the wall as he chased his own orgasm.

“Gonna cum inside ya baby,”

Your eyes fluttered open, “n… no, sonny—can’t,”

“‘M gonna fill ya up with my baby, honey, see ya swell with my baby, fuck ya everyday til’ ya give birth.”

before you could say anything, your jaw dropped ever so slightly as sonny fucked you into a powerful orgasm—an orgasm only he could give you, you’ve come to learn. Your velvety walls sucked him in and that was just enough to tip sonny over the edge.

His back bowed over you and he stifled his groan by pressing his lips into your neck, pumping his cock somehow even deeper inside you as he came. You gasped as you felt the spurts of his cum inside you, your hands grasping at him and you didn’t know whether to push him away to pull him closer.

“Sonny,” you moaned, and your step-brother peppered kisses on your neck as he prolonged his orgasm.

“see? felt real good, didn’t it?”

What sonny didn’t expect was a hit to his solid chest, and he removed his face from your neck.

“I told you not to cum in me!” you told him in a hushed whisper, finger pointing into his chest.

“Too late now, anyway,” he said as he stood (as straight as he could in the closet) and his cock was still inside you. You couldn’t deny how good it felt, and he was totally right about that; but you told him from day one that you never wanted to even risk being knocked up.

“you’re gonna have to buy me a plan b,” you told him, “I can’t… I’ve told you i can’t get pregnant,”

“I ain’t buyin’ you plan b, sweetheart, it’s against our religion. hey, if god wants ya knocked up by me, then he’ll do it.”

Sonny only chuckled and kissed you, and you hesitated for a moment but you were always weak for him, kissing him back as he pulled out and the first thing you felt was your argument falling apart as you felt so empty, his cock filled you in the best possible way. Sonny watched in the dim light as his white cum started to drip out of you; then he took his finger and fucked it back inside you.

“Ain’t wastin’ that,” he commented.

“I hate you,” you mutter, and you don’t know if there’s any meaning behind it as he softly fingers your raw, swollen pussy; pushing his cum as deep as it could go.

“nah, ‘ya love me. or at least ‘ya pussy does,” he laughs, leaving a kiss on your cheek.

your stepbrother knew he had you hypnotized by his cock, and now his DNA was inside of you, ready to start making a baby inside you.

[polkadotpenguin16]

All the Days of My Life

A/N: Guess who's already back with another story! This one's much shorter, I promise. This was inspired by a Reddit post I once read and my friend getting married last week. Thank you, as always, to @misscharlielulu and @escapingrealtiylovinginsanity for reading my drafts and making them better.

Pairing: Sonny Carisi x female reader

Word count: 1K

Also posted on AO3

It was a chilly fall evening, so you made some soup while waiting for Sonny to come home from work. While cooking was more his thing, it made you happy to do something special for your husband. You’d only been married less than a month, but you’d already grown accustomed to your new titles, husband and wife. That magical feeling from your wedding day still hadn’t quite worn off yet. Which you knew was ridiculous since nothing really changed that day. You’d already pledged your love for each other long ago and lived together for many years before tying the knot. But nonetheless, you bore the name Mrs. Carisi with pride.

You turned around when you heard the door click, greeting Sonny with a smile. “Hey, sweetheart, how was your day?” You looked over your shoulder as you continued to stir your pot.

“Eh, you know, the usual.” He sidled up beside you and kissed your temple. You leaned into him, trying to capture some of the warmth radiating off of him. You’d always call him your own personal space heater. A blessing in the colder months, but a curse in summer due to the amount of cuddles required to keep him happy.

“Fighting crime? Saving lives?”

He groaned at your remark. “More like interviewing creeps and filing paperwork.”

Sonny went through his routine of hanging his coat, locking up his gun, and pulling his phone out of his jacket. He snapped his finger as he realized he’d almost forgotten something. He rummaged through his pocket and fished something out before walking over and handing it to you.

You opened your palm to see that he’d given you his wedding band.

You stood there puzzled, staring down at the shiny thing. Confused about why he wasn’t wearing his ring, but even more so why he handed it to you. You racked your brain for some kind of logical explanation but were coming up blank. “Um…what’s this?”

Sonny looked at you incredulously. “What do you mean? It’s my wedding ring.”

You furrowed your eyebrows at his brilliant answer. “I can see that, silly, but why is it in my hand and not on your finger?” You asked as your eyes darted between him and the ring in your hand.

Sonny made a sour face as flashes of his earlier case raced through his mind. Even the delicious aroma of your soup wasn’t strong enough to overpower the memory of the smell. “Was at a gnarly crime scene this morning. I took it off to scrub my hands when we got back to the station. Rubber gloves aren’t 100% effective, ya know.”

Your husband, the germaphobe. He held his left hand in front of you, and you finally understood what he was wanting. “Oh, you can’t be serious. You’re asking me to put your ring back on?” You knew Sonny was a sentimental sap with a heart of mush, but this was next level, even for him.

“You’re my wife. I’m pretty sure that was in our vows.” He still had his arm extended in front of you as he nodded towards his hand trying to encourage you to put it back on.

You covered your face to stifle your involuntary giggles. “I don’t remember ‘putting a grown man’s ring on whenever he takes it off’ as part of the gig.”

“Should’ve read the contract more closely, doll.” He tsked at you as he shook his head. “And I’m afraid—” He grabbed your left hand and pointed at your own ring. “There’s no returns or exchanges on this deal.”

You couldn’t help yourself but smirk at his reasoning. You humor the poor man with an overdramatic huff, returning his wedding ring back to his ring finger. “So I guess I’m gonna be doing this forever now, aren’t I?” Your voice raised sarcastically.

Sonny brought your hand to his face to kiss your matching band. “For all the days of my life.”

All the days of my life.

That was a part of your wedding vows. You internally rolled your eyes at how disgustingly cheesy this all was, but you couldn’t help but stare at this man in wonder. You couldn’t believe how lucky you were to have found someone who loved you so much, so completely, that he wouldn’t feel right if it wasn’t you who was putting on his wedding ring.

The symbol of his love and commitment to you.

Well, you did promise for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. You supposed you could live with putting Sonny’s ring back on for you the rest of your life.

And from then on, you did just that. Every single time, you slipped Sonny’s ring back on his finger each time he took it off, no matter how silly the reason. Like whenever he was mixing ground meat to make fresh meatballs for spaghetti night. Or when you were packing to move to a new apartment and he didn’t want it to get scratched. Even when he was worried about getting electrocuted while trying to fix the light switch.

“What, you wanna be a widow already, doll?”

Then there was the time Sonny had acute appendicitis and needed emergency surgery. He woke up groggily in a hospital room, not completely remembering why he was there. Through his haze, he looked around the room, trying to put the pieces together when he noticed you sitting beside his bed. You gave him a warm, familiar smile, and he immediately felt more at ease.

“Hey, tough guy. How you feeling?”

He mustered up all his strength to groan out, “Tired.”

“I bet you are.” Your 6’ tall ‘superman’ looked so fragile lying in that bed, hooked up to various wires and tubes. A brutal reminder that he wasn’t, in fact, an indestructible superhero. But a mortal human whose life could vanish in an instant. “I have something for you.” You reached behind your neck to unclasp the necklace you were wearing. You fiddled with the chain and pulled off a ring.

His wedding ring.

You’d kept it close to your heart when he was in surgery, ready to give it back to him when he woke up. You took his left hand and returned the ring to its rightful place. He looked up at you with dopey, puppy dog eyes, his heart completely filled.

“What, did you think I’d forget?” You asked with a wink.

“Thank you, doll.” He looked down at his ring and gently squeezed your hand. “For always putting it back on.”

“And always will. All the days of my life.”

[detectivesvu]

Flirtatious Fate

Rafael Barba x Fem! Detective! Reader Tags: Near smut. Lots of flirting. Barba and Reader almost get caught. Sonny being a great advice giver. Word Count: 6.5k "And what if we are? Would that be such a bad thing?"

It wasn't at all uncommon for the counselor to work overtime.

Rafael more than likely worked more overtime hours than any of the attorneys in the whole building. He lived for his work, so it was no shock that it was nearly 8:00 o'clock and he was still buried in his work with no intention of going anywhere anytime soon. Most of the building had thinned out. All the people who were much better at maintaining a work-life balance had left hours ago - leaving Rafael as practically the only one left. Not that he minded, he could always work better alone.

But he didn't mind having some company. There were a few faces that he always was always welcome to and would always make time for...especially one in particular.

His attention was stolen away from his work when there was a knock on his open door, obviously indicating that someone was there to see him. Clearly, he wasn't the only one who pulled a lot of overtime hours.

He knew exactly who was at his door just by the specific sound of the knock. He wasn't sure how he knew, but he did - and his heart fluttered at the knowledge of the person at his door.

Their relationship was complicated, although neither of them realized that the way they acted toward one another made things a gray area. They simply believe they were colleagues...friendly colleagues at best. Somehow, neither of them really realized that their dynamic came from a much more personal and emotional place.

Nonetheless, he was happy she was there...even though he didn't realize it.

"Come in, detective." He said, without even giving a glance up from what he was working on.

A genuine smile was on the detective's face at the sound of his invitation. She entered the room with a cup of coffee in each hand, her foot kicking the door closed behind her as she entered. She was alone in her entrance, and the fact that her partner wasn't with her let him know this wasn't a business visit.

“Counselor,” She greeted. “Do you have time for coffee and a chat?”

If there was any single person in the world who could outdrink Rafael Barba when it came to coffee - it was [Y/N]. She could drink coffee at any time of day and could put down at least four cups a day. That was one thing they shared - they worked a lot and ran on nothing much pure passion for their job and heavy amounts of caffeine.

Rafael looked at her then, curious and intrigued. He wondered where her partner was, considering she was still dressed in her work attire, which also let him know she wasn't done working for the day.

"Be my guest," He gestured to the chair opposite his desk, leaning back in his own seat knowing he was about to be distracted completely. "What brings you here?"

She approached him, handing him a hot latte that was fresh and just to his liking. As coffee connoisseurs, they had entertained plenty of coffee conversations in the past. He wasn't really at all shocked that she knew his preference in coffee. He watched her from over the rim of his cup as she sat down with her own drink, clearly very comfortable in his presence.

"Carisi is upstairs talking to someone, so I figured I'd stop by and say hello." She said casually, but the sparkle in her eye let him know she had come by for more than a quick greeting.

A small smirk appeared on his face when he caught that look in her eyes. He knew her too well. She was here for a bigger reason. They were always usually very to the point with each other. They saw no reason to waste time when she was here with a purpose.

"Is that so? You came all this way just to say 'hello' to me?" He asked, a hint of playfulness in his normally dry tone.

She shrugged, a knowing grin appearing on her face as she ran her finger absentmindedly around the lid of her cup.

"Well..." She began. "I might have something interesting to tell you."

Now this made more sense. The coffee, the late visit, the giddiness. She was here to gossip - a habit that she frequently and flat out denied that she ever took part in.

"Okay," He nodded, his smirk now turning more curious. "Don't keep me in suspense."

She set her coffee down on his desk, now sitting up completely straight as she used both her hands to talk. He knew she had something big if she was this focused.

"You know how I'm kind of friends with the secretary on the fifth floor of the precinct?" She asked, jogging his memory. "Remember how I was telling you she had been acting strange?"

Rafael's eyes darted around the room as he racked his brain. mentally sorting through hundreds, if not thousands, of conversations the two of them had shared until he placed it.

"Yeah, you said she was acting secretive or something like that." He remembered, albeit vaguely.

"Right! You know I'm not one to gossip," She said, and Rafael had to fight the urge to roll his eyes at that comment. "But she's pregnant!"

Let the records show, Rafael had never met this said secretary before. The only things he knew about her were things that [Y/N] had disclosed to him, but evidently she had shared just enough with him for him to be all in on this revelation.

"No way," He tilted his head. "How do you know?"

"She told me!" She remarked. "I really couldn't believe it. I knew something was different about her. I had to come tell you when I could because you were the only person who agreed with me that something was up."

His heart fluttered again at that. It was purely just convenience that had brought her to his office that night, but it still made him shudder to think she had reserved a conversation solely for him.

"It seems we were right then," He took another sip, his eyebrows knitting together when he realized something. "Didn't you tell me she was single?"

There was a brief silence as she only shared a certain look with him. Her silence answered his question completely.

"Ah, so that's the crux of it all," He said, figuring he might as well fully emerge himself in this gossip session. "So, I'm guessing you have information on who the father is?"

"No," She shook her head. "I'm still working on that one...but I have a few guesses."

"Let's hear them." He encouraged her.

Normally, it would've been so unusual for Rafael to engage in this kind of talk. He didn't rightly care what a stranger to him had going on in their personal life...but he didn't like them the way he liked the detective sitting pretty in front of him, genuinely enjoying conversing with him on any given day.

"The rumor on the fifth floor is that it's a cop over in narcotics..." She took a quick glance over her shoulder to make sure no one was listening. "But that said cop has been gone for nearly six months. I don’t think the math adds up.”

Rafael considered her statement, nodding in agreement and urging her to continue.

"My other guess is a bit far-fetched, but not unreasonable," She said. "A few weeks ago she went home to Chicago to visit her family, and I remember her mentioning to me that she was thinking about paying an old flame of hers a visit..."

"Oh, that's interesting...and certainly a possibility, I suppose." He replied. "Is that all?"

"Yeah, that's all I got," She shrugged. "I am being unfair. I shouldn't be making a conversation out of her business."

Rafael chuckled, shaking his head.

"Well, we all indulge in a little nosy talk here and there." He said, feeling a pang of disappointment knowing this conversation was coming to an end.

“I know, I know. That’s really all I know," She reached for her coffee cup again. "But enough about me. How are things going here?”

He chuckled when she changed the subject, noticing her eyes lingering on his. He should've known she had something else locked and loaded.

"Things here are…as expected," he said, gesturing to the stacks of files on his desk. "Too many cases, too little time." He picked up his coffee, taking a sip before continuing. "But I always manage, one way or another."

“That you do, counselor.” She grinned. “This case has been a tough one…how are you holding up?”

He leaned back in his chair, a weary smile on his face.

"You know how it is." He said, and that was all he needed to say for her to completely understand.

"That I do," She sighed. "After all these years, I've never quite mastered dealing with everything we see."

"It's not easy, that's for sure," He said. "But I must say, you've handled yourself quite well in difficult situations, detective."

“I try my best,” She shrugged. “Some days I wonder if I should've stuck with my college job."

"Which was...?" He probed.

"Bartending," She confessed. "Also a stressful job, but nothing like doing police work."

This was new information to him. He actually didn't know that about her. He chuckled, imagining her in a bar apron, wiping down tables and listening to drunken rants.

"I could see that." He teased, a playful smile on his face. "But then we would be missing out on your skills as a detective."

She gave a small laugh, but didn't respond just yet. They sat in a comfortable silence, the conversation fizzling out before a new one blossomed.

"Maybe I need a vacation." She said in a way that seemed random, but this was usually how their conversations went. They would start on one topic and then end up somewhere completely different within minutes.

He took the opportunity to tease her, something that was also very common for their interactions.

"From SVU or from me?" He joked, the playful banter coming easy between them.

"Oh, never from you, Rafael." She matched his tone, his first name sliding off her tongue like it was something she said often.

He felt a brief flash of surprise when she used his first name, but he quickly recovered and played along with the banter.

"Careful, detective. That sounds almost affectionate." He teased.

She scoffed at that, an entertained smile on her face.

"We work for the law. We hardly have time to be affectionate in any regard." She said, and it was completely true.

"Yet here we are, two busy people making time for each other." He took a sip of his coffee, then looked at her with a more serious expression. "But you're right, it's not easy to balance work and personal life. Especially in our line of work."

“I can relate. Somehow you and my co-workers are the only people I really talk to,” She spoke, her voice soft. “Not…that I mind talking to you. Who else is going to tell you the neighborhood gossip?”

He smiled, genuinely flattered that she considered him one of her few friends.

"I must admit," he said, a hint of jest in his voice. "I do enjoy hearing your neighborhood gossip. It breaks up the monotony of the legal jargon."

“I imagine it does,” She returned a smile. “Maybe eventually we’ll figure out how to balance work and personal lives. Figure out how to do something other than work.”

Clearly they often toed the line between being professional, being casual, and being flirtatious. This was their norm. Everybody who knew them wouldn't even bat an eye at this conversation between them. But what Rafael said next would've raised a few brows. He wasn't sure what made him say it. Maybe it was the late hour or the moment just felt right, but he made a remark that couldn't have been confused as anything other than personal.

"Maybe we will. It's about time we started making time for ourselves." He paused, then said with a teasing smile. "And each other."

Her gaze fixed on him, her eyes slightly squinted as she smirked at him. She wasn't sure if he was being serious or not. Neither of them had ever crossed this line before. They were both aware that this was a new level of comfort with one another.

“Counselor, are you flirting with me?”

A sly smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he held her gaze.

"And if I was, detective?" He retorted.

“Mark me as surprised,” She said. “But flattered.”

They were both confident people...stubborn at times too. There would be no backing down from this. He chuckled, enjoying the back and forth banter. He leaned a bit closer in his chair, his smile growing wider.

"Is that so? You're not going to accuse me of being unprofessional?"

“That would make me a hypocrite. Me waltzing in here and gossiping about my coworker is unprofessional,” She leaned forward. “I consider this a flirtatious and pleasant conversation.”

He raised an eyebrow, intrigued by her words. He leaned closer as well, his voice a little lower now.

"Just a pleasant conversation, hm? You're not going to tell your other coworkers about this little chat?"

This situation was turning and it was turning fast. It had gone from casual to playful, and now they were trodding in a territory they had never ventured to before. This was different, but neither were backing down.

“Not at all, Counselor, if the thought of someone knowing bothers you so much.” She stood from her chair, eyes locked on him.

His smirk grew wider as she stood up, his eyes never leaving hers.

"It doesn't bother me at all." He assured her, rising to his feet as well. He moved around the desk, closing the distance between them. "In fact, I quite enjoy these little chats of ours."

“If we aren’t careful, we might become the precinct gossip.” She looked up at him, eyes sparkling.

He chuckled, finding the idea of being the source of gossip in the precinct strangely amusing. He took a step closer, his voice a low murmur as he spoke.

"And what if we are? Would that be such a bad thing?"

“Well, I would be getting a taste of my own medicine I suppose,” She said, realizing their noses were nearly touching. “Amongst other things.”

He let out a soft exhale, feeling his heart rate quicken at her close proximity. The air between them felt electrified.

"And those other things would be?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Whatever you suggest we do to ‘make time for each other’?” She said smoothly. “What did you have in mind?”

He chuckled, his gaze locked with hers. He reached out with a slow, tentative hand, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. The feel of her skin under his fingers sent a shiver down his spine.

"I have plenty of ideas," he said, his voice low and filled with promise, "but we should probably discuss them somewhere more… private."

“Are you thinking private thoughts, Counselor?” She replied.

He leaned in a little closer, his voice dropping to a sultry whisper.

"What do you think, detective?" His hand moved to her cheek, his thumb tracing a gentle line along her jawline. The proximity was intoxicating, and he couldn’t resist the urge to toy with her a bit more.

“I’m thinking a couple of drinks over dinner,” She said, her voice supple and sultry. “Dessert at my place.”

He chuckled, his eyes darkening with desire at her words. He lifted his other hand, gently cupping her face, his thumbs brushing against her cheeks. He leaned even closer, his lips grazing against her ear as he whispered.

"Sounds like a perfect plan."

“Don’t you want to know what you’ll be having for dessert?” She asked, her control getting close to wobbling.

His lips curled into a sinful smile, the double meaning behind her words and the shiver in her voice were all the invitation he needed. He moved even closer, his breath hot against her ear, his voice huskier than before.

"Show me, detective. I’m absolutely starving."

She smiled an awfully sultry grin, her teeth toying with her bottom lip as she whispered.

“You’re looking at it.”

His eyes darkened with a mixture of restraint and desire, a low growl rumbling in his chest. He was losing control, his hands gripping her face a bit tighter now.

"Careful, detective. If you keep talking like that, I'll have you right now on this desk."

Fire was burning between them. Their minds were racing and hearts were pounding with the knowledge of where this was going. Neither cared to try and figure out how this was happening so fast. Neither of them needed to. They just knew something between them was mutual and it was coming out in full force.

He backed her into the desk, the backs of her thighs pressed against the edge of the desk. Her hands came to start working on getting his tie off, his hands planted high on her thighs underneath her skirt. Her lips brushed against his as her breathing became heavy, the two of them mere milliseconds from going at it when there was a knock on his office door and it creaked open.

Both Rafael and the detective froze, the moment shattered by the intrusion. Rafael took a moment to compose himself, his face flushing with a mix of annoyance and embarrassment as he attempted to conceal the fact that they had been just seconds away from being intimate on his desk.

He cleared his throat and took a few steps back, allowing some space between them. They both were quick to readjust themselves, totally coming back to reality of what just almost happened. Her heart was hammering away in her chest, her cheeks tinted pink as she adjusted her skirt. The intruder was none other than her detective partner, Sonny Carisi, who was blissfully unaware that he was just barely seconds away from walking in on his partner and his squad's counselor going at it.

Sonny stepped into the office, his expression serious. However, he hadn’t yet noticed the tense atmosphere in the room or the telltale signs of intimacy that were still evident on Rafael and the detective’s faces. He approached Rafael, his eyes fixed on the district attorney.

"Counselor...we have an issue with one of the witnesses in the case. Can I have a word?"

She was trying to hold her composure, acting like she wasn’t just about to get down and dirty with the counselor. Rafael took a deep breath, attempting to compose himself. The interruption had cooled the heat between them a bit, but the tension in the room was still palpable. He cleared his throat and addressed Sonny, his voice slightly strained as he tried to keep it together.

"Yeah...w-what's the issue with the witness?"

She could hardly stand to be in the room anymore. She was having a hard time processing how an innocent conversation turned so hot so quickly. Rafael had never expressed that kind of feeling with her. They had never gotten that close before. Sure, they faintly flirted, but never so outright before. She was overwhelmed, and now she felt like she needed some air.

“Sonny, you finish up here,” She said, her voice a bit shaky from the adrenaline. “I’m…I’ll meet you downstairs.”

Sonny's eyes flicked between Barba and the detective, sensing that there was more going on than he was aware of. He was puzzled by her shaky voice, and something about the tension in the room felt odd, but he didn’t have time to question it. As the detective made her way out of the room, Rafael's gaze followed her, a mixture of disappointment and concern etched on his face as she left.

Rafael had never shared that kind of moment with her. To be honest, he wasn’t sure where it had come from. Sure, he liked her and favored her, but he had never made a move on her before. But in all fairness, she had never reciprocated quite like that.

Rafael couldn’t deny that the moment with her had been explosive, a spark igniting between them that he hadn’t expected. He had always liked her, but this was a whole different level of attraction. Her response to him had triggered a deep, intense desire that he couldn’t ignore. As Sonny continued to talk, Rafael struggled to focus on the conversation, his mind going back to the moment they had shared just moments before.

He just wanted to help Sonny and get him out of his office so he could handle this. But of course, Sonny always needed to know everything.

“Is…everything alright between you and her, Counselor?”

Rafael flinched, snapped out of his thoughts by Sonny's question. He blinked a couple of times and cleared his throat, trying to hide his preoccupation.

"Yeah, everything's just fine, Carisi," he said, his tone a little guarded. "Why do you ask?"

“I’ve never seen her run out like that. Especially when you’re around,” Sonny remarked.

Rafael shifted uneasily in his chair as he sat down, the observation not being lost on him. He tried to play it off as nonchalantly as possible.

"I suppose she just had something to take care of. She seemed… in a hurry." He said, his words sounding unconvincing even to him.

Sonny didn’t believe him. He knew his partner, and he could tell when someone was lying. Something had happened in this office before he came in.

Rafael realized that Sonny wasn’t buying his response, and he silently cursed himself for not being more convincing. The air in the room felt heavy, and he knew he had to change the subject or risk further questioning.

"Is there anything else you needed to discuss regarding the case, Detective Carisi?" Rafael asked, trying to sound as impassive as possible.

Sonny caught the way Rafael changed the subject. He wasn’t getting anything from Rafael, so he decided to try his partner, who was downstairs waiting for him.

“No...alright…” Sonny said. “We’ll…we’ll be in touch.”

Rafael nodded, a slight look of relief on his face as Sonny seemed to accept the change in topic. As Sonny turned to leave, Rafael couldn’t help but feel a pang of worry about what might happen once he spoke to the detective.

He took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts, but his mind was still buzzing from the encounter that had just taken place, and the uncertainty of what would happen next gnawed at him. Sonny wasted no time getting to the elevator, taking it to the ground floor. Sure enough, she was standing just outside on the sidewalk, her hand resting over her chest as she took slow deep breaths of the cold New York air.

She let the cold air of New York City fill her lungs, the chill helping to clear her mind. She tried to steady her rapid heartbeat, still shaken by the intensity of the moment she and Rafael had shared. The thought of what might have happened if Sonny hadn’t walked in sent a shudder down her spine. What was she thinking?

She was so distracted by her thoughts that she didn’t notice Sonny approaching until he was standing beside her.

“Sonny.” She nearly gasped, her heart lurching in surprise.

Sonny chuckled at her reaction and raised an eyebrow, a sly smile on his face.

"Whoa, easy there. You almost jumped out of your skin." he teased, trying to lighten the mood.

“I’m sorry, you scared me.” She sighed. “Are you ready to go?” She gestured toward the SVU car they had taken.

Sonny nodded, and as they headed toward the car, he shot her a sideways glance, curious about what had just transpired upstairs.

He wasn’t a detective for nothing, and he could sense that there was more to the story. Something was off, especially given her demeanor and the flushed look on her face.

She slid into the passenger seat, feeling a bit less shaky now that she had a few minutes to calm down. Her mind was still reeling, but she didn’t feel like she was going to pass out anymore.

Sonny walked around the car and got behind the wheel, his gaze flickering to her every now and then. As they started driving, he decided to go for it and ask the question that had been on his mind since he walked in on his partner and the Counselor.

"So, what was that all about? You left his office looking like you’d seen a ghost." He said.

She took a subtle deep breath, trying to center herself for a round of questioning that was no doubt coming.

“It was nothing really,” She responded as coolly as possible. “I’m just tired, I think. I just needed a second to gather myself.”

Sonny gave her a skeptical look, her response only adding to his suspicion. She was obviously trying to brush it off, but he was not convinced.

"Come on. You know I wasn’t born yesterday," he said, his tone laced with mild irritation. "Something happened up there."

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” She said, reaching for her phone that vibrated in her pocket.

As she checked her phone, Sonny gave her a knowing look. He could sense that she was dodging the question, and it only fueled his suspicion further.

"Oh, really? Then why won’t you look me in the eye?" he asked, his voice a bit challenging now. "Who’s sending you text messages, huh? The Counselor?”

Her heart dropped, because despite the fact that Sonny’s question was a joke — he was right. She stared at the text message that had just come in from Rafael.

A sly smile crept onto Sonny's face as he spotted the change in her expression, a clear indication that he hit a sore spot.

"Bingo," he said, his tone dripping with smugness. "That’s what I thought. What did he say?"

Sonny glanced at her, his curiosity piqued. He could tell she was reading a text message, but he couldn’t see what it said.

"So, are you planning to share that text with me, or are you just going to keep me in suspense?" he said, his voice filled with playful annoyance.

She didn't even really mean to, but she read the text out loud for herself and Sonny to hear.

Call me when you can. Please.

Sonny raised an eyebrow, a smirk spreading across his face. He couldn’t help but feel a little amused by the situation.

"‘Please?’" he repeated, a hint of mockery in his voice. "Sounds like the counselor is desperate to talk to you."

Sonny had her cornered, and she knew it. There was no getting anything past Sonny, especially since they worked so closely every single day.

“Sonny..." She whined, knowing he was more on to her than she realized.

Sonny chuckled at her response, thoroughly enjoying the teasing. He knew he had her now.

"Come on," he said, feigning innocence. "Don’t sound so surprised. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other when you think no one’s watching."

“Now I really don’t know what you’re talking about,” She huffed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Sonny took his eyes off the road for a moment to shoot her a sidelong glance, a knowing smile on his lips.

"Oh, please. You really think you’re discreet?" he said. "The tension between you two is so thick, a blind man could see it."

She rubbed her eyes stressfully, unsure of how to respond to Sonny, and even more unsure of how to proceed with Rafael. Seeing her stressed out, Sonny’s playful tone softened slightly. While he enjoyed teasing her, he could see that the situation was weighing on her.

"Hey, relax," he said, throwing her a gentle smile. "It’s just me, alright? You can talk to me, you know?"

“No, I can’t…” She sighed. “Not about this.”

Sonny’s smile faded slightly at her response. He could tell that whatever had happened in Rafael’s office was more serious than he initially thought. It wasn’t just some harmless flirtation between her and the district attorney. He cleared his throat and spoke with a more serious tone now.

"Why not? Come on. You and I have been friends for a long time, haven’t we? You can trust me."

“I trust you,” She said. “It’s not that, it’s just…complicated.”

Sonny furrowed his brow, his interest piqued even further. The way she said ‘complicated’ made it clear that there was more to this than he initially thought. He knew there was something she was holding back, but he wasn’t going to let it go that easily.

"Complicated, huh? In what way?" he asked, his voice calm but filled with genuine curiosity.

At this point, she knew Sonny wasn’t going to let this go. Sonny could keep a secret better than anyone, so she figured she might as well give it up. She told him the story, leaving out a few graphic details, but she told him enough for him to get the picture.

Sonny listened intently as she spoke, his expression stoic as he absorbed the details of what had transpired between her and Rafael. He didn’t say a word as she recounted the encounter, his gaze steady on the road ahead of them.

When she finished her story, he was silent for a moment, considering everything that had been said. Then, he spoke up, keeping his voice neutral.

"So, let me get this straight. You and the Counselor got hot and heavy in his office, but things got interrupted, and now you don’t know what to do next?"

“That about sums it up,” She sighed again. “If we had gone all the way…I don’t even know. I don’t know where to go from here and I don’t know if I can ever work with him again…”

Sonny exhaled softly, his jaw tensing slightly. He hadn’t been expecting it to be that serious. He could sense the internal struggle she was having and understood her confusion. He knew it wasn’t easy, juggling personal feelings and professional responsibilities.

"Whoa, whoa. Hold on," he said, trying to get a grip on the situation. "First of all, it didn’t go that far. Nothing…happened, right?"

“It was close,” She admitted. “But no. Sonny, Olivia will kill me if she finds out. She would flip if she found out I got cozy with the counselor…”

Sonny nodded slowly, processing her words. The fact that she was worried about Olivia’s reaction spoke volumes about how seriously she was taking this. He respected her devotion to the job, and he knew how highly her superiors thought of her.

"Okay, first of all, Olivia’s not going to ‘kill’ you. Besides, this isn’t exactly the first time a relationship has happened between coworkers."

“Yeah, but it’s different. It’s…me. You know how she is with me. I’m the youngest on the squad,” She took a deep breath. “If she knew Rafael made a move on me…”

Sonny could see the weight of the situation pressing heavily on her. He understood her concerns.

"I get that you don’t want to disappoint her," he said in a reassuring tone. "The thing is, this whole thing with Barba…you didn’t exactly pursue him, right? He’s the one who made a move. And as far as I can tell, it sounds like it was completely out of the blue for you."

“It…wasn’t really out of the blue,” She confessed. “I mean, I didn’t go in there expecting what happened but…like you said we’re pretty…flirtatious. And I didn’t push him away.”

Sonny chuckled slightly at her confirmation that she hadn’t exactly shut down whatever had been going on between her and the Counselor. He knew they’d had a spark.

“So, let me get this straight: you and Barba have been flirty with each other for a while, and eventually, things got heated in his office. Is that about right?”

Sonny nodded when she confirmed it, the situation starting to make more sense to him now.

"And now you don’t know what to do because you’re worried about your job, your relationship with Olivia, and whatever might happen next with Barba?”

“Right,” She replied. “It happened so fast…I don’t know how I got here.”

Sonny chuckled softly as he listened to her concerns.

"You got here, because you and Barba have chemistry," he said bluntly. "The question is, what are you going to do about it?"

“I don’t know what to do about it,” She read the text from Barba again. “How do you even move forward from something like this?”

Sonny shot her a sympathetic glance, understanding her anxiety.

"Hey, it sounds like you’re feeling a bit out of your comfort zone here, and that’s alright." He said reassuringly. "You’re usually more reserved, and this situation’s a bit more intense than you’re used to. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It could mean that something about Barba really does it for you."

“Yeah, I could’ve told you that. I guess I need to respond,” She stared at her phone. "He wants me to call him later. So he will probably reject me and tell me it was a mistake and it never should’ve happened and then things will be awkward and then I’ll have to leave SVU and then I’m back to making traffic stops-“

Sonny reached over and grabbed her arm firmly, stopping her mid-rant. He chuckled slightly at her panicked ramblings.

"Slow down there," he said, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Take a deep breath. You're getting way ahead of yourself."

“Maybe…” A smile appeared on her face without realizing it. “I’ll just…tell him I’ll call him when I can.”

Sonny chuckled along with her, enjoying the lighter tone of the conversation. He was glad to see that his teasing had lifted her spirits, at least a little bit.

"Hey, you never know," He said with a shrug and a smirk. "Stranger things have happened. Maybe Barba’s completely smitten with you and can’t wait to see you again."

“Alright, alright…” She replied. “One step at a time. Let’s finish this workday.”

Sonny chuckled at her response, sensing her determination to get through the last couple hours of their long workday and not let the situation with Barba consume her. He nodded in agreement.

"You got it," he said, his tone back to business. "I've got your back, no matter what happens next."

___

They returned to the precinct, tying up their loose ends for the day so they could get the day finished. She tried to put Rafael in the back of her mind. She just needed to get through her shift and then go from there. She hoped she would feel better once she and Rafael talked, no matter what the outcome was.

Sonny shot a few glances at her, sensing her attempt to keep her mind off the situation with the Counselor. He knew she was struggling to focus on work when her mind was preoccupied.

As the day came to an end, Sonny casually looked down at his watch and spoke up.

"You know, we're just about done for the day. You…uh…have plans for the rest of the night?"

She gave him a look.

“I’m going to call him as soon as I leave,” She said. “If he’s still at his office, I might swing by.”

Sonny gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder, his eyes filled with genuine concern.

"You're gonna handle this, one way or another." he said, his voice firm and steady.

“Okay,” She nodded. “I’ll text you when it’s over.”

Sonny waved her goodbye, and she didn't waste any time getting out of the precinct. She dialed Rafael's number on the way out of the building.

The phone rang a few times before the familiar voice of Rafael Barba answered on the other end.

“Hey.” His tone was calm and composed.

“Counselor.” She greeted as calmly as she could.

There was a hint of surprise and relief in Rafael's voice as he recognized her on the other end of the line. He had been hoping she would call.

"I wasn’t sure if you’d call." He said plainly.

“Of course I did,” She let out a silent sigh. “Are you…still at your office?”

There was a slight pause before Rafael responded, the anticipation heavy in his voice.

"Yes," he replied. "Do you…want to come by?"

Her heart fluttered, there really was no turning back.

“Yeah, I figured I would come by so…we could talk. I can be there in 20 minutes…”

They sorted out the details before the call ended, and she knew this was going to either be a pleasant or brutal talk. She knew she might be losing one of her best friends by the end of the night. She had never felt more unsure, but she couldn't even deny that maybe she was curious to see how this developed...if it developed at all.

Her mind raced as she made her way to Rafael's office. She thought of every possible outcome in this scenario...the best case, the worst case, and everything in between. She felt the knot of anxiety in her stomach getting heavier by the minute. She laid eyes on her destination and knew it was now or ever. She needed to compose herself and pull it together. She wanted to walk out of this situation with him still an important part of her life.

The building was closed down for the night, all the offices dark and closed...except for his. It was now or never. If there was ever a moment where she felt like she was about to seal her fate...it was right now.

She took the elevator to the floor of his office, her brain actively controlling her breathing to be as calm and slow as possible. Her heart was pounding away, and she wasn't sure if it was the nerves or the knowledge of seeing him again after what had happened.

His office door was closed, but a glow of light was shining from behind the closed blinds on his windows and under the door. She gave a light knock on the door, a slow exhale escaping her as she waited for him to answer.

She heard some shuffling from behind the door, knowing he was undoubtedly trying to quickly straighten up his desk before he allowed her inside. A few seconds passed before he opened the door -- his tired eyes meeting hers with the same look of anxiety and curiosity of what was about to happen. There was no turning back now, and they both felt like they were prepared.

But little did they know, their night was about to get far more interesting than they planned for.

[squadmuse]

THE BLESSINGS OF HOME & LOVE

A SONNY CARISI X FEMALE READER STORY

WORD COUNT: 1.2k - ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE

It was a chilly March evening and Sonny was glad to be finished with work for the day down at the precinct.

He was glad to be not working on the night shift tonight - the weather station was warning of the possibility of snow, and with the bitter wind that was already there, Sonny was already finding himself freezing cold as he sat in his car outside the apartment building where he lived with his wife.

A broad smile brightened Sonny’s face as he thought of you, his wife. It felt so surreal yet beautifully incredible to be calling you his wife, to be your husband. You were still newlyweds, only having married at the end of February, and after a short honeymoon up in Nantucket, you and him had got back to work quickly. He planned to take you off on a Mediterranean cruise and a proper honeymoon in the summer.

Grabbing his leather briefcase, a new one that had been a gift from you for his birthday last year, Sonny switched his car off and climbed out of the vehicle, locking it and stood onto the sidewalk looking up at the building. He knew you’d be home, you had the habit of bringing your work home if it wasn’t busy in the courthouse.

That had been how he had met you, one day at the courthouse, where you had been rambling away to Rafael about some case of his that overlapped with your own, as you worked as an Assistant District Attorney within the homicide department. You were beautiful and intelligent. Sonny had been blown away from the first time he met you.

After a year and a half together, you had married and as he wandered over to the building, Sonny couldn’t wait to see you, even though he had seen you before leaving for work that morning. Gregorio, the elderly doorman opened the door for the lanky detective.

“Evening, Mr. Carisi!” chimed Gregorio, as he held the door open. Sonny felt himself blush at the title as he stood to chat with the doorman.

“Hey, Greg! What have I said? Just call me Sonny!” chuckled Sonny as he stood in the lobby. He instantly felt the heat of the building start to warm him up, and it was definitely much nicer than outside.

Now it was Gregorio’s time to chuckle. “Oh you know me, I’m an old-time gentleman and habits die hard! How is the missus doing? I didn't see her earlier,” stated the doorman with a smile, which Sonny returned.

“Ah ya know, perfect as always!” smiled Sonny as he started thinking about you again. You were always on his mind.

“Young love, as they say, tell her I was asking after her, then will you?” asked Gregorio, as he moved to open the door again. “Don’t want to keep you either, bad luck to keep a wife waiting, I know that from experience,” added the elder man.

Sonny nodded and said his farewell, and with his long limbs it didn’t take long for him to reach the second floor of the building, to the apartment that you and him called home. He was glad to see that you kept the door locked. After all he’d seen in his career (although you had also seen some sights), it had been something Sonny made sure to reiterate to you - keep the door locked, even if you’re home. He had a key, and any guests would give prior notice about a visit.

Walking through the heavy door, Sonny felt himself relax instantaneously at being home and back to you. As he locked the door, he got a delicious smell waft over to him and Sonny felt his stomach rumble.

“Doll, it’s me!” called Sonny as he took his coat off and hung it in the hallway cupboard. “I’m home, and I’m likin' the smell of whatever you’ve got cookin'!” he added loudly as he took his leather dress shoes off and placed them on the rack within the cupboard beside your own court shoes.

“Sonny?” he heard you call from the kitchen down the hall as your head stuck out the doorway, to which he stood to his full height and out of the cupboard.

“Ya, just putting everythin' away! Know you like it all tidy!” he chuckled as he wandered over to your petite self, and brought you into a tight and loving hug and kiss.

Pulling away from the kiss, you rested your hands on the broad shoulders of your husband. He must’ve taken off his suit jacket sometime, and he looked very handsome in his white shirt and grey waistcoat and red tie. “Hello to you handsome!” you giggled, kissing him softly. “I’ll have you know it’s good practice, y'know keeping tidy…”

Sonny nodded, and he pressed his lips against your own again. He couldn’t get enough of your kisses. “I love you, darlin,” murmured Sonny, as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into him some more. The smell of your strawberry mint shampoo and the scent of your vanilla and jasmine perfume seemed to intoxicate Sonny as he stood there, just hugging you, his wife and best friend. “I can’t wait for that to happen, seein' how good you are now, I know ya will be the best.”

You couldn’t help but blush at Sonny’s compliments, and you playfully whacked against his chest, which made him laugh and his eyes crinkle. “Well, I think you’ll be even better!” you replied, wrapping your arms around his neck and smiling up at him. “Anyway, do ya wanna try out what I’ve been cooking up for us?”

Sonny nodded. He had not had time to eat much at lunch, just some god awful coffee and a vending machine sandwich. Usually the two of you would meet up for lunch, but you had been busy prepping for a case, and he had been chasing down a perp in Central Park. So to say the least, Sonny was absolutely famished, and he loved that you loved to cook like he did.

“I can smell rosemary and garlic?” stated Sonny as he sniffed the area. “Chicken too?”

You nodded. “My Nonna mailed me some old family recipes, so I’ve been trying them out… I hope you like pollo al mattone, sformato and then some torta della nonna for dessert,” you smiled, bringing Sonny into the kitchen by the hand, your hands intertwined.

Sonny groaned at the sight of the dishes you had ready and awaiting. You really did spoil the gastronome within him, but he did the same right back to you. “Doll, you’ve outdone yourself here!” grinned Sonny as he wandered over to the oven. “I guess you were a tad stressed today?”

You giggled as you joined Sonny bringing out the dishes and cutlery. “That Adams murder case is a mess,” you sighed as you passed the plates to Sonny, who placed them on the kitchen table. “I don’t like badmouthing detectives, but one lost evidence pertaining to the case, and it’s got Buchanan piling pressure on all angles for a mistrial.”

Sonny sighed. He hated that you got stressed out and that your cases ending up complex or screwed by external factors. “I know ya will get justice for the victim, you’re the best ADA I know,” he replied as he picked up the pollo al mattone with oven gloves on. “Wish you had better detectives though, doll, I’d move heaven and earth for you, whether it’s a case or anything else.”

You stood there, watching your husband move the dishes over to the table. Honestly, you had no idea how you had been blessed for someone as perfect as one Dominick Carisi Jr.

[haunting-venus]

green with desire ↳ rafael barba x fem!reader

content warnings | smut ( minors dni ), canonical svu violence, jealousy, feelings of inadequacy/anxiety ( so, light angst ), dirty talk, fem!dom if you squint really hard, some begging

word count: 6241

Of all of the terrible ideas you’d had in your life, debating punching a police officer in a crowded bar was definitely top three on the list. Your rational mind knew that it would end with split knuckles and an assault charge, while the emotional side of your brain told you to throw rationale to the wind and throw your knuckles across that brown-haired bitch’s temple.

You tried to focus your gaze on anything but the woman inciting your rage, your nails biting into your thigh. Soft light flickered off of the vintage art prints hanging on the wall, reflecting the black-and-white images of famous figures in the history of New York. Pop music sounded against the walls, just loud enough that you could feel the bump in the music at the bottom of your chest. The venue was moderately sized but felt claustrophobic with the amount of casually dressed NYPD officers that teemed at all corners, sipping a variety of beers and leaning against the polished mahogany countertop of the bar.

Leaning against that mahogany bar was a tall, slender woman with tumbling brown hair and doe eyes squinted in delight at the man in front of her. A manicured, unpolished finger circled the rim of her mojito while her other hand rested closer and closer to the man’s rested elbow. Below her fitted purple top rested a gleaming gold badge, saddled on a shapely hip. Her teeth glinted just as brightly as her badge when she giggled, lightly swatting the man’s arm. None of this would necessarily be a problem, if the man the officer was inching towards was not your boyfriend.

Instead of letting your fist connect where it was itching to, your grip tightened on your margarita glass and took a heavy gulp of the sour drink. You were a guest at an unofficial NYPD get-together, surrounded by acquaintances celebrating the recent closing of a corruption case in tandem with an officer’s birthday. Somewhere in the crowd, Detective Sonny Carisi strolled with a beer in his hand and a ‘Happy Birthday Big Boy’ pin gleaming on his breast. Tensions had run so high within the precinct the last few weeks that the need to let loose was nearly oozing off of every civil servant in the bar. The last thing anyone here needed was a librarian they barely knew from Queens assaulting a police officer and disrupting a perfectly civil get-together.

You’d met Rafael Barba while waiting in a ridiculously long line for the new coffee shop that opened down the street from the library you worked at. Caught in your own world listening to a podcast, eyes downcast to adjust a seam on your cable-knit sweater, you had collided head on with the rushing attorney resulting in black coffee tipping onto each of you. The pale blue shirt under his pin-checked brown vest and jacket had suffered the most, thoroughly drenched in hot coffee with a mottled brown stain right across his chest. You’d made a horrified, choked noise and tried to apologize as you rushed across the room in search of napkins, mumbling apologies as you dabbed at his wet suit in vain.

His annoyed gaze had softened slightly as he watched you flit around the shop with pink cheeks and wild eyes, completely ignoring the mess on your own shirt in favor of making amends to a complete stranger. He had eventually chuckled, pushing your hand away from his chest and declaring the suit a lost cause. You’d finally been able to get a good luck at him as you lowered your hands, trying to reassemble some sense of pride as the patrons of the shop gazed after your neurotic display. He was hispanic, not too tall but with broad shoulders outlined pristinely by his tailored jacket, brown hair coiffed and barely out of place even with all of your fretting. His green eyes shone with a hint of amusement even behind his mostly serious expression.

You had insisted on paying for the dry-cleaning of his suit, to which he brushed off the offer with a chuckle, promising that no grudges would be held in exchange for a new cup of coffee. He had been intrigued with your kindhearted (if strange) behavior and the way your cheeks flushed cutely when he smiled at you, prompting him to ask if you’d have time to meet for a real sit-down coffee the following week. You’d been delighted and tense at once, not one to go out on a limb with strangers, especially such handsome and well-spoken ones.

When you had met Rafael for coffee the following Thursday, the two of you had thankfully been able to avoid spilling your drinks on one another, to which Rafael had given a quick joke about in order to break the ice. You’d found yourself easily falling into conversation with Rafael, who you had learned was a prosecutor that worked nearby for the District Attorney’s office. Your nerves were quickly comforted by his easy ability to joke and his unhidden interest in getting to know you, his soft green eyes never leaving your smiling face. It didn’t take long to discover that you shared a love for historical fiction literature and high-end coffee, and you had ended the lunch with entwined fingers as he walked you to the large double doors of the library you worked at.

A few lunches quickly turned into dinners on the rare nights when Rafael was able to escape his office, where he showered you with compliments and wine expensive enough that it made you nervous to drink it. You’d quickly become accustomed to the strong feel of his hands gripping your waist as he kissed you in the entrance of his oak-furnished apartment entryway, heat rushing through your veins at the heated whispers he hissed into your neck. You treasured the quiet mornings in his kitchen almost more than the extravagant dinners. Scrambled eggs and espresso in his brightly-lit kitchen overlooking the city, his hair soft and unstyled as he swayed with you on the tile floor, that peek into this more relaxed version of your usually nothing-less-than-proper partner felt more precious than gold.

You’d never been the type of person that flaunted their relationship, especially since Rafael was such a prominent figure in the New York legal system. There was a prickling fear in the early days of your relationship that you were too plain to publicly be seen with a man associated with such prestige and power, that you would look like nothing more than a sweater-clad bookworm feigning at being worthy of a man much above her standing. When Rafael had discovered this, he’d been quick to quiet your concerns with his fingers in your hair and his head between your legs until you could think of nothing else.

After his many reassurances that he would love to show you off at any time possible, including to his coworkers, you’d become more self-confident. You’d begun to surprise Rafael at work with bagel sandwiches from an artisan bakery in between your workplaces, toting coffee and paper bags through the looming hallways of Hogan Place and barely paying attention to those who spared you a second glance for planting a kiss on the primly dressed ADA. Soon afterward, you had joined the squad of the Special Victims Unit and Rafael for the celebration of the conviction of a serial rapist. You were proud of the progress you had made with Rafael’s coworkers, forming timid friendships with the detectives that he worked so closely with on a daily basis. You were glad that you’d gained enough confidence to hold your own without using Rafael as a fallback in social situations with his coworkers, but it all felt bittersweet now that he’d been approached by another woman as soon as you had gone to chat with Detective Rollins with celebratory tequila shots.

You had gathered vaguely from Amanda that the brunette ogling your boyfriend at the bar was a recent witness in a major police corruption case that Rafael had been handling, Detective Sandra Allen from the Narcotics division. She was a hero and a villain at the same time in the eyes of her fellow cops; a snitch who ratted on her fellow officers who were spending their county-paid salary hours manipulating prostitutes into sexual favors in exchange for staying out of prison. The case made you sick, and the fact that you could feel nothing but disdain for this woman who bravely stood up and testified on behalf of those sex workers made shame burn deep in your stomach.

You didn’t need to be a police officer to notice Amanda’s sly looks between you and the scene going on at the bar, or that she was trying to hold back her laughter from the growing redness in your face that you tried to blame on the alcohol. You had hardly been listening to Fin’s rambling story about how his grandson had been inexplicably angry at the balloons he’s seen in the park because they would not stop floating, no matter how much he asked. On any other day, you would have loved to look at Fin half-drunkenly showing off his adorable lump of a grandson with a grinning smile. Right now, though, you could only hear the deep cadence of Rafael’s laugh as he finished off his scotch, and only see Detective Allen’s beautiful and flirtatious smile directed toward the man you had spent the last several months building a life with.

You were worried that the glass in your hand would shatter under your grip as you set it forcefully on the table. You knew there was no reason for you to be acting this way, feeling so scorned and bubbling with jealousy over the easy way that Allen fawned over your partner. You knew more than anyone the easy charm that Rafael brought to conversations, even when he was being a sarcastic bastard. You knew you weren’t the only woman who admired his passion and his good-looks, but having it shoved in your face like this felt much worse than just knowing it in the back of your mind.

Amanda’s mischievous expression quickly morphed to shielded concern when she noticed just how much you were bothered by the scene in front of you. Her demeanor took on the protective edge that came so easily to all the detectives you had met at the SVU, poised to talk someone down or to throw an elbow into someone’s teeth. “Hey, you want me to go do some crowd control over at the bar? I’m sure the Counselor is just waiting for the best opportunity to get out of there.”

You knew that you should just go over there and put a stop to it. You wanted so badly to have the conviction to strut over to Rafael, straddle his lap and make him moan in front of that woman, to show her just how he crumbled under your touch, how you were the one to bring him to his knees, to receive his hardships and his worship, not her. That display of power, of claim over a man that so many people wanted, would no doubt make her back off. But that wasn’t who you were. You were not the sultry-smiled woman who captured the eyes of every room she walked into, the one who could bite at a woman to back off of what was hers. So, instead, you threw back the rest of your drink, taking a moment to relish in the burn of tequila and the acidity of the lime that buzzed through your veins, and sent a tight-lipped smile to Amanda and Fin.

“I think I’m actually gonna turn in for the night. Too much tequila makes me stupid, you know.” You gave an unconvincing chuckle as you set some bills on the table to cover your drinks and a tip. Amanda opened her mouth to protest, hoping to keep you from leaving, but you were already pulling your peacoat onto your shoulders.

You had only gotten halfway down the street, heaving heavy breaths to lighten your heart rate and the burn behind your eyes, when Rafael called out your name from the direction of the bar. The street was relatively quiet for a Wednesday night, with only a few stragglers walking between the handful of establishments on the block. You steadied your expression before turning on your heel towards him with a shaky smile.

He stepped toward you with a soft look so often reserved only for you, his brows furrowed in slight worry. His black trenchcoat fell beautifully against his broad chest, green eyes accented by the specks of emerald in his patterned tie. Even after months, you still felt yourself melt a little at the kindness behind his eyes. “You ran out so quickly with no goodbye, is everything alright?”

“I’m just tired, and you seemed like you were having a good time talking to Detective Allan. Didn’t want to take you away from the fun.”

His eyebrows rose in question at the unexpected bite in your tone. You had tried to hide your rising feelings with the shit poor excuse, but Rafael hadn’t become a successful ADA by not being able to read people. It was one of the things you loved and hated about him, how he could peel back the layers of what you were feeling to gaze at the very core of you. It made you feel cared for and probed at the same time.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I was only being cordial with a witness who put a lot on the line to testify in our case.” He stepped into your space, running a thumb across your cold and flushed cheeks. His voice was steady, his eyes honest but confused. You scoffed lightly, still feeling your anger simmering but being calmed by his steadying touch. His hand dropped from your cheek at your exclamation, steadying a solid look at you. “Look, you know I am not exactly the DA’s office favorite person, much less the police department. She was worried about how her colleagues were going to see her, she wanted advice on how to deal with interoffice conflict.”

“Oh, don’t pull that. The only thing she was worried about was how quickly she could get your hands up her skirt.” The words burned your throat, emerging into the air before you could stop yourself. You knew Rafael wasn’t a stupid man, and you didn’t want him to treat you like you were either.

“Excuse me?” Rafael’s eyes hardened, a muscle in his jaw twitching as you took a step back from him. Your outburst had gained the attention of a passerby who gave the two of you a quick once over, and it only stoked your anger and shame. Rafael guided you with the motion of his hand towards the side of the sidewalk. “Look, I didn’t mean to abandon you, I’m sorry. I was only being polite to a woman who is going through what might be the worst time of her life. She needed someone to reassure her, to ask about her options-”

“So she had to wait until your girlfriend left to ask you about all of that? I’m not naive, you know. I see how women look at you, the looks they have when they realize you’re with me, like you’re settling for something that’s so beneath you. That they could give you something hotter, younger-”

“Stop! Just stop!” He ran a hand across his face, his expression softening as he saw the hurt on your face, the insecurity he thought the two of you had quelled long ago. “We’ve talked about this, I thought we had dealt with this. You are the only one I want to be with. The only one that I want to see in my bed in the mornings or bringing me coffee for lunch or watching tv in my old t-shirts. It’s only you.”

Shame and anxiety still burned deep in your blood as you felt burning behind your eyes. The anger had fizzled like a campfire under rain, replaced with humiliation settling deep into your stomach. A few tears wet the side of your face, and you avoided what you hoped wasn’t pity on Rafael’s face. “I’m sorry, I know that. I just- I just lost my temper and-”

“Look, I only want you. I want you to know that I only want you.” He brushed away the wetness from your cheekbone with a reassuring smile. He pressed a fleeting kiss to the side of your head as he pulled you into his chest, stroking a heavy hand between your shoulder blades. His woody cologne mingled with the salt of your tears, wrapping around you in comfort.“Let’s take a cab, forget about this bar. If you’re still doubting the way I feel about you, I clearly didn’t get my point across last time.”

You pulled back with a surprised laugh, tightening your grip on the sides of Rafael’s neck. A new heat flushed to your face with the intrigue in Rafael’s eyes, your ego stoked that he still found you desirable in the messy state that you were in. You leaned up, capturing his lips in an impassioned kiss, letting the feel of his stubble and the grip of his fingers wash over you like a wave. A shiver ran through your limbs to your fingertips, goosebumps rising as you felt the edge of his teeth against your lips. A heated gasp went through you as your back hit the nearby wall, feeling the solid line of Rafael’s body slot between your legs and against your chest. 

“Let me bring you home, show you exactly how much I want you. Please, hermosa, let me.” His voice was thick and had an edge of desperation that shot heat through your entire body, igniting every edge of your nerves with the brush of his lips to your neck.The lick of power that ran through you at having this man, so powerful and beautiful and respected, begging for the opportunity to bed you sent you reeling. With a nod, you pulled Rafael to the edge of the sidewalk to hail a cab, his hand gripping your waist.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You’d spent the majority of the cab ride from the bar stroking your thumb on the inside of Rafael’s knee, taking long moments to let your eyes linger on the clenching of his strong hands, the swell of his powerful chest beneath his vest, the slow darkening of his eyes with arousal as you raked your eyes over him. In the elevator ride up to your loft, his fingers trailed teasingly along the bottom of your sweater, sneaking underneath to rub at the skin of your hip with fleeting touches that ran heat up your spine and between your legs. You felt yourself wanting to push him back against the mirrored wall of the elevator, to go down to your knees and to hear your name echoing from his lips as you sucked him, but kept your face falsely neutral. This was part of the game, of him letting you know how much he wanted you, how he couldn’t keep his hands off of you. You felt your face flush with the intimacy of the touches, his eyes glinting at your suppressed smile.

By the time you’d reached the entrance of your studio apartment, the buzz of your earlier tequila drinks had worn off in favor of the thrill of Rafael’s touch skating up under your shirt, fingers trailing beneath your clothed breast. As quickly as your jacket slid to the floor, your back was pressed solidly against the entryway wall, your hair pushed to the side to let your boyfriend suck slow kisses into the column of your throat. The nick of his teeth against the cord of your throat let a soft sound rise from your chest, your head falling back to knock against the wall.

Stepping away to remove his trenchcoat, Rafael took a brief moment to admire your panting frame, your cheeks flushed high with want and warmth. His tone was breathy, but serious as he hung up his jacket and vest.“You’re sure that you’re in the mood? I can always bring out some wine, put on that Bermuda Triangle documentary you’ve been wanting to watch.”

His words were sweet, but you could still see the heat burning in his eyes, even as he stood carefully away from you as he awaited your answer. You smiled as you stepped forward, fingers stroking the bulge in his black trousers, a rush of confidence coming from the deep groan he let into the air. “As lovely as that sounds, I think I’ll save that for after I ride you until the neighbors complain about the noise.”

“Your noises or mine, cariño?” He taunted as he pulled your sweater over your head, his hands finding your breasts with a delicate squeeze as you pulled him by the tie towards your bed in the further corner of your studio. His thumbs rubbed against the ridge of your nipple through the thin bra, your bitten lip barely containing your groan. His lips found yours again quickly, swallowing up the breathy noises you made.

“Why don’t we see who makes them come knocking first?” You grinned as pulled firmly at the back of his hair, letting a groan rumble against the seam of your lips. A swell of pride rose in your chest as you pushed Rafael back against the mattress, making quick work of his buttons as you let your ass fall firmly onto the bulge in his pants. His hands gripped your thighs tightly, his fingers indenting your pants with their firm hold. He brought his left hand between your thighs, letting his thumb rub idly against you through your pants as your movements on his buttons stuttered. 

You steadied yourself against Rafael with a hand on his shoulder, rushing to remove your bra with the other hand to feel your skin against him. Your fingers stuttered over the clasp repeatedly, your head falling back at the pleasure that pooled between your legs. An easy smirk graced his handsome features at the stuttered breath you let in at the work of his fingers, sitting up at the waist to pull your breasts against his chest and rub between your legs more firmly. “Getting distracted over there, hermosa?”

The pet name brought a groan from your throat, wetness pooling in your cunt from his deep voice laced with arousal. Rafael’s pressed white button-up hung loosely off his shoulders, and you pushed the rest off with a renewed need to get your hands on his bare chest. His tan skin stretched over a strong chest and corded shoulders that held you firmly, dark chest hair brushed across your skin. You ran your hands down his pecs to run your nails across his stomach near the buckle of his belt, relishing in the shiver that ran through him.

Your tongue licked into his mouth with a moan, bringing one hand to the back of his head to thread your fingers through his salt and peppered hair while your hips moved against his covered cock. The hand over your pants faltered as he pulled away from your kiss, letting you get a look at his wide-blown pupils before he took his teeth to your neck with a moan.“Who’s distracted now, huh?”

You rolled to the side to shimmy out of your cotton pants, taking care to stretch your back to give Rafael a view of the curve of your ass as you turned. He pulled himself to the head of the bed, one hand stroking firmly against his hard cock over his trousers while he held the other near his kiss-swollen mouth. You felt a pang of wetness between your thighs at his lidded gaze, his eyes following each curve of your body like it was a melody he yearned to play. You leaned forward toward Rafael, your hair tumbling over the swell of your breasts as you climbed on top of him. His hands quickly moved back to slide along your body, one pinching your nipple while the other slid underneath the purple lace between your legs, dipping his fingers into the wetness there.

Rafael groaned as you ground your cunt against his hand, letting you seek your pleasure from his steady hand. The hand at your breast lowered to unbutton his trousers, his cock peeking from the edges of his dark briefs. “God, cariño, you're always so wet for me. You like my fingers on you?”

You stuttered out a breath as Rafael’s fingers dipped inside you, the palm of his hand rubbing gently against your clit as he stroked inside of you. The rolling pleasure from both areas of contact had sweat building on your chest, a moan coming high in your throat when you tried to answer. “F-fuck, yes, Raf, just like that. God…so good.”

Your breathy words spurred him on, adding another finger to your pussy. You gathered some composure, gripping your nails into Rafael’s shoulder with pleasure while your other hand went to stroke his thick cock. His rewarding moan was well worth the effort it took to keep a clear head as his fingers massaged inside you, bringing you rapidly to a crest of rising pleasure. Your legs shook even as you brought your hand up in a stroke, tightening your grip around the head in the way you knew made his eyes roll back. Precum dripped from the tip of his cock, slicking the way for your fingers to work faster, to make him feel as good as he was making you feel.

“Fuck, if you keep doing that, I’ll be gone before I even get to fuck you.”

He groaned out your name as he flipped you onto your back, moving your hand from his cock as he moved his thumb to rub firm circles against your clit.You threw your head back in pleasure from his show of strength, his forearms and biceps flexing enticingly each time he drove his fingers into you. The fingers of Rafael’s other hand gripped your ass, bringing your hips up to his hand as he kissed his way down your neck and breasts. He murmured praises of ‘beautiful’ and ‘mine’ that made your blood soar, pleasure cresting low in your stomach as your breath quickened. Your moans pitched, your nails digging into Rafael’s shoulder letting him know you were close. He breathed out a few words of Spanish, letting his teeth sink hard into the junction of your neck as you reached your high. His name slipped loudly from your lips before you bit down on your lip, shaking in his arms as he continued to stroke you through your orgasm.

Your gaze was blurry with pleasurable tears when you faced Rafael, bringing his lips to yours in a messy kiss before sneaking off to the washroom for a glass of water. When you re-emerged from the bathroom with a half-drunk glass of water, Rafael was on his back with a hand wrapped lazily around himself, his cock jumping when he caught sight of your flushed face and the growing bruise on your neck. You crawled atop your boyfriend, letting the wetness of your release drag teasingly over the length of his cock. Rafael’s hair was tousled, strands hanging enticingly in front of his eyes as he gazed hungrily at your body. He looked delectable, sweat edging along the edges of his brow and his cock glistening when it peaked above his fingers. He looked at you like a parched man drinking in the sight of an oasis, like you were anything and everything he needed at that moment. You wanted to see just how far he would go to have you.

Testing your luck, you edged your fingers along the edges of Rafael’s arms, guiding them above his head. His eyes were curious as he followed your lead, raising his muscled arms above his head for you to wrap a hand around his wrists. The muscles in his shoulders flexed as he readjusted himself as he raised a teasing eyebrow at you “Want to have me at your mercy, hermosa?”

What had started as a fleeting idea now struck a new wave of arousal over you as you gazed down at the powerful man underneath you, his eyes soft and filled with hot desire. God, he was everything you’d ever wanted presented beautifully between your legs, gazing at you like he wanted to devour you. An idea picked at the corner of your mind, sending a coy smile across your face as you draped your body over Rafael’s chest.

“Tell me.” Rafael looked at you with confusion now, readjusting his hands above his head. His tongue came out to wet his lips. He was usually the one making demands in bed, bending you to his will for both your pleasure. You felt it might be time to turn the tables.  “Keep your hands there, and tell me you want to fuck me, only me.”

Your words were shakier than you’d wanted them to be, revealing your anxieties about taking control in this way for the first time. However, Rafael quickly relaxed under your touch, a new degree of interest entering his gaze at this undiscovered side of you. He looked you in the eyes as he groaned what you had asked. “God, I want to fuck you, more than anything.” 

“I think you can do better than that.” You teased, licking a long stripe along the side of his neck up to his ear. The words felt foreign in your mouth, but you were encouraged by the twitch of his cock against you as he gasped lightly. He looked up at you with a playful glimmer in his eye, a little smirk playing on his lips.

“Are you asking me to beg?”

The words sent a blazing heat to your cunt, swallowing heavily at his words. Rafael’s eyes lit up in a similar way as when he was cross-examining someone in court, when they gave him the inch of leverage that he could stretch a mile. The proud look he got when he had someone exactly where he wanted them.

“Oh, you like that, don’t you cariño. Me, begging for your pussy like it’s the only thing I’ve ever needed in my life.” it was a statement more than a question, and fuck, the confidence he exuded even when he was under you like this had your head spinning with heady arousal. His words rumbled in your chest, urging another movement of your hips against his cock.

“Only if you want your cock inside me at any point tonight.” The words sounded hollow in your throat, undermined by the breathiness of your voice, you pressed against him again to quell off any embarrassment you felt. He grinned like he knew exactly what his words were doing to you, but let himself play the role you’d assigned him for now. If part of you wanted to try something, all of him wanted to comply, to fulfill your every desire.

“God, you look so beautiful like this. Please, please let me inside you. Let me get you off how I know you like hermosa. Please.” Even though you had a feeling he intentionally raised the whininess in his voice, the breathy tones still sent pangs of pleasure to your cunt. You gasped as the words left his mouth, pressing a desperate kiss to Rafael’s lips as you lined up his cock.

Your eyes slipped shut as you eased onto Rafael’s cock, the ridges of the head stroking the sweetest places inside of you that caused stuttered moans to fall from your lips. You ran the flat of your palm up Rafael’s chest, cupping the side of his cheek as you drove his cock into you. Rafael cursed as you seated yourself on his lap, your head thrown back in ecstasy at being filled, at being fucked. His hands shook above his head with the desire to touch you. He keened as you shifted his full length inside you, circling your hips to adjust to him.

You looked down at him between your thighs, flushed high on his cheeks with nothing capturing his attention but your body moving above him on his cock. Each swivel of your hips pushed his cock firmly into that spot that made you see stars and pushed deep, moaning praises from his throat. You reveled in the fact that no one else could see him like this, could make him moan and beg under them like this.

“God, everyone wants you like this and it’s just me that can have you. Just me that makes you feel this good, right baby? They all wish they could have your cock stretching them like this.” You babbled as your thoughts were overwhelmed with pleasure. You knew you sounded half mad, but you were too far gone to notice, relishing in the pleasure deep in your cunt.

“Fuck!” Rafael, moaned your name, finally moving his hands from above his head to bruisingly grab your hips. He raised his knees behind your back to gain leverage to roll his hips into you deep and steady, moans stuttering from your throat with every thrust that sent his cock deep inside you.

“So sexy, keep making those pretty noises for me, please.” Rafael’s words were near ravenous and you were glad you weren’t the only one overwhelmed with pleasure, desperately voicing every dirty thought that came to your mind when you looked at the man in front of you. Rafae’s grip along the curve of your waist allowed him to get the leverage to pull you down hard onto his cock 

“Aah, fuck, please, Rafael, I-I’m gonna—d-don’t stop.” You didn’t know if you meant him pulling you down hard onto his cock or the filthy words that sent heat reeling through your body.

“God,” one of Rafael’s hands slid up to grasp your breast tightly, your nipple brushing the calloused skin of his fingers and had fire licking up your spine. His eyes were wild as he drank in the sight of you crying out on his cock, your fingers reaching to circle your clit as he pulled you against him. His tone was pinched and loud, ragged with his heavy breathing.“I want you to come, on my cock, right now. Please, cariño, give it to me.”

“Raf, God, you’re making me-fuck, yes” You felt tears brim the edge of your eyes as your pleasure climbed to something primal, each rub of your clit, every brush of Rafael’s hands against you setting you aflame until you felt yourself collapsing around him with a cry of his name. He slowed, but never stopped, his movements as he rocked you against him through your orgasm, soothing the shivers of your body with his warm hands. You panted as he came down from your second high of the night, your legs shook with the effort to remain upright. 

“God, you’re killing me. Please, let me come inside you, fill you, I need-” you cracked your eyes to capture Rafael’s expression, lips parted around a moan when you moved your hands to grip at his hair. Hardly trusting your words, you nodded in your agreement with a whispered plea to ‘do it, please, come for me’. Rafael’s body went taut for a heartbeat, driving himself hard into a last few times as he came. His eyes clenched shut, his hands gripping your hips as he mumbled out praise.

Catching your breath, you rolled off of the bed to grab a towel, taking a moment to wipe yourself off before jumping back onto the moderately clean sheets, taking a moment to admire your boyfriend in his post-sex haze. This could be one of your favorite versions of Rafael, limbless and content, pressing his lips to the crown of your head as you regained your breath together. You pressed a kiss to his chest as you wrapped your arm around him, whatever insecurities you had been feeling before was long extinguished by the solidness of Rafael underneath you, his ragged breathing and the ache between your legs as proof of your mutual want.

You lay in silence for a few moments, his fingers carding through your hair before he spoke. He pulled his head back to look you in the eyes, stroking a soft hand across the back of your head. “Will you promise me that, next time you are feeling the way you did at the bar, you’ll let me know instead of storming off. That way, we can talk it through and maybe have a repeat of this, instead of you feeling awful because your mind likes to tell you lies.”

You gave a chuckle, pressing a soft kiss to his mouth with your smiling lips. “Sounds like we’ve reached a deal, Counselor.”

He let out a rueful groan, pulling you tighter into his chest as you giggled. “Call me that again and I’ll be rescinding my offer.”

“Understood…Counselor.” you whispered, avoiding his playfully stern gaze by heading to the kitchen to get that wine he had promised you.

[motherofdogs1010]

Laurel Sickness I (Sonny Carisi x Reader)

Summary: Laurel Sickness was a case of extreme, obsessive love that has been used to describe the new phenomenon that is sweeping the globe with no explanation. Individual are becoming just as mad as Apollo once was when he first set his godly eyes on the virgin nymph, Daphne.

Warnings: 18+ only, dark!fic, toxic behavior, gaslighting, dystopian society, dark!Sonny Carisi, stalking, stalker!Sonny Carisi, the world's messed up in this story, age gap relationship, forced relationship, eventual non-con/dub-con, Stockholm Syndrome

Dividers by @firefly-graphics Banner by @vase-of-lilies

Sometimes, in the late night when she was holding herself up in her dorm, Y/N would lay there in her bed and contemplate what exactly she had done to gain the attention of her friend's uncle.

She remembered meeting Maddie Carisi at freshman orientation, the two girls having been in the same major (nursing to be exact) and having instantly clicked. She had known Maddie for exactly three years before she was invited over to the Carisi Easter Sunday Dinner, her own parents were back in her home state and unfortunately, Y/N couldn't afford to go back home at the time, but now... now, she wishes she had taken up her parents' offer of letting them buy her a ticket to visit them.

She remembers the way the whole family had been welcoming, a loud joking bunch of people who were still in the Sunday bests; Y/N having made sure to dress in a floral, pastel colored dress that was off the shoulder yet she made sure to put a cardigan on top as to not show too much cleavage since Maddie had told her that her grandmother was quite the conservative Catholic. Y/N had been enjoying herself, enjoying the conversation and activities the Carisi family had set up for the kids and cousins to do when she had bumped in Maddie's uncle.

"I'm so sorry", Y/N had said with a apologetic look on her face. "I didn't see you there."

She didn't think of anything when their eyes met, E/C meeting blue and seeing the appearance of his pupils dilate when they met. She didn't think the surge reports on the news could happen to her, how naive she had been.

"It's alright, no harm done", he had said with a tight smile.

"Uncle Sonny!" Maddie had cheerfully said, "you're here!"

"Well, luckily, I was able to take the afternoon off", he said, his accent thick. "I see you brought a friend along."

He was a handsome man, Y/N could recall; he had his hair gelled back, he had quite a bit of grey in his hair yet it had only added to how attractive she had thought he was. He was much older than them, Y/N figured he was in his late thirties or early forties and he seemed to be accompanied by a blonde haired woman who always looked like she was permanently scowling.

"Oh! This is Y/N!" Maddie said, introducing her. "Remember, I told you my friend and I both wanted to get our Masters to become NPs? This is her."

"Ah, Maddie talks a lot about you", he said, "big plans you two have, huh?"

Big plans, that's what she had. So many big plans and dreams before Sonny Carisi crossed paths with her...

"My Uncle rarely comes nowadays", Maddie had told her later. "He's the new ADA in Manhattan for the sex crimes unit."

Amanda had been mad as of late, a cunt if Sonny was being honest because of his lack of wanting to have sex with her anymore. But how could Sonny betray his little doll face like that? How could he forsake the instant connection he had felt by having sex with another woman?

The minute their eyes had met at his family's get-together, he knew it was instantaneous, they were meant to be. Sonny didn't exactly understand at first the thoughts that were in his mind about the younger woman, the intense and sexual dreams about her until he was watching the news.

The dreams he had were not always sexual, no, sometimes he saw his life with her; her cooking at the stove with five or six little Carisis ran around their legs, she would laugh as they pestered her before she'd look back at him with a grin.

"Dominick, you're home", she'd said as the bundle of children ran towards him.

Another case of that new phenomenon, Laurel Sickness was in the news; a woman arrested after killing the boyfriend of the woman she had grown to become enamored with. Laurel Sickness was something that some were saying was global hysteria, people falling in love with a uninterested third party, chasing down their loves until they were able to obtain them.

"Our eyes met and I knew we were meant to be!" the afflicted woman sobbed as she was arrested. "She showed me our future together!"

Sonny's eyes had widen as he could hear Amanda calling him from the other room.

Damn all the time he had put into the relationship with Amanda, the arguments they had over making their relationship public or how attached her daughters were to him.

Sonny looked at the photo Maddie had posted to her instagram, a photo of her and... Y/N, oh, how did just thinking her name make his stomach clench and heat spread through him. The two girls were outside at a coffee shop, it was obvious they had been studying by the notebooks and textbooks, even their laptops around them on the table.

Y/N had her hair pulled away from her face, a happy but tired smile on her face.

"Sonny, we really need to talk about this", Amanda nagged from the other room.

Yeah, they were going to talk.

He just knew it was one that Amanda wasn't going to be happy about.

[metalmonki]

Objection! Part 5

Rafael Barba x fem!Carisi!reader

2.1k word count

Summary All you wanted was to be a lawyer like your big brother Sonny. So what happens when you get a job working under the famous ADA Rafael Barba

slow-burn, colleague to friends to lovers

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

For months the days where just as busy as that first day. Some days were filled with paperwork, some days were spent entirely at the courthouse. More and more I was working independently of Rafael only crossing paths briefly to hand off files or to discuss a case. Rafael had even organised me my own office. As much as I enjoyed the newfound freedom within the DA’s office, I was also missing being so close to Rafael. We still had a little meetings, casual lunches and nights out with the SVU team, but it became less of us and more the whole team.

Finally, a case came up that allowed me to work closely with Rafael again. What started as a runaway with no connection to SVU and turned into a possible stranger abduction had become a massive manhunt for a yet unknown person who was enjoying taunting Rafael in the form of letters with clues which to places with more clues that lead to dead ends. 2 months and hundreds of mans hours had been put into finding this person and we were still no closer. No name, no witnesses, no evidence and 7 missing teenagers. We had rearranged the entire SVU pull pen pushing all tables to the sides and filling the middle of the room with drawing boards. I was currently sat staring at the clues we had been sent. The first ever letter we received from this guy told us that we would find the missing teen just by following his clues. Yet all the clues had led to dead ends. Something wasn’t adding up, something didn’t make sense.

“Y/n we have to go update the mayor” Rafael said coming to a stop next to me.

“Yeah, yeah coming”

“You’ve been staring at these notes for ages” Rafael sliding his hands into his pockets.

“Somethings bothering me about them. I feel like we’ve missed something” I say eyes not leaving the boards in front of me.

“You’ve been working for almost 40 hours, lets update the mayor then you can go home and get some sleep.” Rafael held out a hand to help me up.

I took Rafael’s hand and stood, though my eyes lingered on the boards a second longer. The sketches, cryptic letters, and scribbled coordinates seemed to mock me, each taunt from our unknown suspect ringing louder in my mind. But he was right—I needed a clear head if I was going to see whatever was lurking in the details.

As we made our way to the mayor's office, I replayed the clues in my mind, hoping a fresh perspective or a conversation might help connect the dots. This case had turned into something personal for everyone involved, especially for Rafael, whose frustration was mounting with each letter that slipped through our fingers and led to nothing.

In the elevator, he broke the silence. “You know, we’re close. I can feel it.”

I glanced at him, seeing the exhaustion mirrored in his expression. But there was something else too—a simmering determination that made me feel as if we were on the brink of a breakthrough.

“You think he’s messing with us on purpose?” I asked, voicing a theory that had been nagging me.

“Absolutely. He’s got a plan,” Rafael said, his jaw tight. “And he wants us chasing our tails.”

The elevator doors opened to reveal the marble hall leading to the mayor’s office, but before we could step out, Rafael's phone buzzed. He glanced at the screen and his face darkened.

“It’s another message.”

A chill ran down my spine as he opened the new text. Another cryptic line: "When you reach the end of the labyrinth, the prize will be in plain sight. If you just open your eyes." It was as if the perpetrator could sense our frustration, even knew that we were about to speak with the mayor.

“Another clue,” I whispered, looking over Rafael’s shoulder. But something was different this time. The tone—it wasn’t taunting. It was almost... instructional.

Rafael took a deep breath, as if steadying himself. “Looks like we’re not going home anytime soon.”

“No,” I said, a spark of determination reigniting. “But I think we’re finally starting to understand his game.”

As we turned back toward the precinct, abandoning the meeting with the mayor, my exhaustion melted into resolve. I’d follow every hint, trace every step. This time, I was determined to beat him at his own game.

…

The precinct was quiet, nearly deserted, with only the faint hum of overhead lights filling the silence. Midnight was approaching, and most of the team had taken off for a quick break. Olivia and Rafael had left to grab food for everyone, Amanda was somewhere in the break room nursing yet another coffee, and Sonny was curled up in the bunk room, catching some much-needed rest. Finn had gone out hours ago to chase down a lead.

I sat in front of the board, staring at the latest clue we’d pinned up: "When you reach the end of the labyrinth, the prize will be in plain sight. If you just open your eyes."

A familiar presence broke the silence beside me as Nick ambled over, arms crossed, eyes scanning the chaotic tangle of clues, locations, and scrawled notes we’d collected over the past two months. He’d been watching me closely for a while, occasionally throwing out theories, but mostly letting me sift through my own thoughts.

“Still chewing on that one?” he asked, tilting his head toward the new clue.

I nodded, barely looking at him. “Yeah. This one’s different. It’s… almost like he’s taunting us less, like he’s trying to lead us to something.”

Nick furrowed his brow, clearly considering it. “Or maybe he’s getting cocky, slipping up a little.”

I tapped my pen against my notebook, scanning the list of locations we’d already searched, the cryptic clues leading us from one dead-end to another. I was exhausted, but something kept gnawing at me, like an itch I couldn’t quite scratch. We’d been to all these places, followed every lead, yet somehow, I felt like I’d been staring right at the answer without seeing it.

My mind flashed back to the first letter—the one he’d sent that started this whole twisted game. "You'll find them if you look beyond the obvious."

A realization hit me, cold and electric. “Nick,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “What if we’ve been overthinking this? Maybe the answer isn’t at the end of some long, winding path—it’s been right in front of us all along.”

Nick leaned in, interest sparking in his eyes. “You think he’s hidden something we’ve overlooked?”

“Yes. Or maybe he’s been hiding in plain sight, knowing we’d miss it because we were too focused on finding something complex.” I scanned the board again, every location we’d been to flickering through my mind. Parks, subway stations, alleys, all public spaces with no clear connection other than being… central.

My eyes widened. “Nick, what if he’s been using these places to form a pattern, like a… map?”

Nick straightened, a gleam of understanding lighting his face. “So you think he’s been leading us in circles—maybe around somewhere specific?”

“Exactly.” I felt my pulse quicken. “I think he’s been taunting us by leading us right around his hiding spot, and he’s getting a thrill out of knowing we haven’t found it. But I need to check, and I can’t explain why just yet.”

I turned to Nick, urgency thickening in my voice. “Come with me. We have to go now, but don’t tell anyone. Not until we’re sure.”

He looked at me, searching my face, his jaw tightening as he weighed my request. Then, without another word, he grabbed his jacket off the back of a nearby chair. “Alright, I’m with you.”

We slipped out of the precinct, moving quickly and quietly down the stairwell and out the back exit. The chill of the night air hit me as we stepped onto the empty street, adrenaline sparking through my veins.

“You have any idea where we’re headed?” he asked as we walked.

I gave him a small smile, my confidence growing. “I do. I just hope I’m right.”

And as we headed toward our destination, a strange sense of clarity washed over me. The missing piece was within reach; I could feel it. This time, we weren’t going to let him slip through our fingers.

The streets were empty as Nick and I navigated our way through the quiet alleys, following my hunch toward one of the oldest and most forgotten parts of New York’s sewer system. With each step, the city above felt more distant, the buildings looming like silent witnesses to our descent. We slipped through an unmarked, rusted gate, making our way down a narrow, crumbling stairwell that reeked of mold and decay. Somewhere ahead of us was an answer—a clue, maybe even one of the missing teens—but right now, every instinct was screaming that this was a mistake.

“Are you sure about this?” Nick murmured as we approached a door at the end of the passage, barely visible in the dim light of my flashlight.

“Positive,” I whispered back, my voice tight with anticipation and dread. The door was dented and corroded, with a single piece of paper pinned to it. I lifted my flashlight, illuminating a simple, handwritten message: Welcome, Rafael Barba.

A shiver ran down my spine as I stared at the name, the ink bold and deliberate. “He was expecting Rafael,” I whispered, pulling the note down with a trembling hand.

Nick glanced around, his hand instinctively reaching for his gun. “Looks like he planned something special.”

I crumpled the note, stuffing it in my pocket. “We’re here now. Let’s see what he had in mind.”

I pushed the door open, and we stepped inside, the smell of damp concrete and rust thickening in the air. Before I could react, the door slammed shut behind us with a heavy clang, echoing through the tunnel as it locked into place. Nick spun around, yanking on the handle, but it didn’t budge.

“It’s locked,” he muttered, frustration flashing in his eyes.

I felt my stomach twist as an unsettling silence settled over us, thick and foreboding. And then, a crackle overhead—a faint hum of static that made my heart pound. Somewhere in the darkness, an intercom system buzzed to life, and a voice filled the room, low and edged with disappointment.

“Well, well,” the voice drawled, with an eerie calmness that sent chills down my spine. “I was expecting Rafael Barba. But instead, he sends his… assistant.” A pause, as if he were savoring the surprise. “Not what I had hoped for. But I suppose you’ll do.”

I clenched my fists, anger simmering beneath my fear. “If you wanted Barba, maybe you should’ve faced him directly, instead of hiding behind your little clues.”

The voice chuckled, a cold, amused sound. “You misunderstand, my dear. This was never about facing Barba—it was about creating something he couldn’t ignore. A labyrinth, an elaborate little puzzle designed just for him. I wanted to watch him sweat, watch him chase his own tail. Just like I had to do when I begged him to take my sisters case” He paused, his tone turning playful. “But now, it seems I’ll get to see you and your friend test your wits instead.”

Nick tightened his grip on his flashlight, his jaw clenched. “We’re not playing your game.”

“Oh, but you already are,” the voice purred. “In fact, you’re at the very heart of it.”

I scanned the room, my pulse racing. The walls were lined with passages, each one barely visible in the dim light, twisting and disappearing into darkness. The intercom crackled again, the voice practically dripping with satisfaction.

“I’ve left you a series of clues,” he continued, “if you can find them, that is. Each path you choose will lead you deeper into the labyrinth. Or… to a dead end.” He laughed softly, the sound echoing around us. “And who knows? Maybe you’ll even get out alive.”

Nick shot me a look, his expression deadly serious. “What’s the plan, then?”

I took a deep breath, steadying myself. “We play along. For now. But we stay sharp and look for a way to turn this back on him. He thinks he’s got us trapped, but that’s his first mistake.”

The intercom crackled again. “Tick-tock, Y/N. Time is running out. I’ll be watching—don’t disappoint me.”

The line went silent, leaving us in darkness, with only the soft, persistent drip of water echoing through the tunnels. I gritted my teeth, the weight of the situation sinking in. He wanted a game? We’d give him one he wouldn’t forget.

Tag List!

@geeksareunique @pinkladydevotee

[spiritualweapons]

Miss Missing You

Sonny Carisi x Reader WC: 974 AO3

This is my first time writing a reader fic in literally several years but this man is ruining my life and I’m here to make it everyone’s problem. This was actually going to be smut but then feelings happened and I didn't get there (lol), if anyone’s interested there will probably be a part two. Very unbeta’d and very rough don’t judge me I’m literally just a girl.

It had been nearly two weeks since you’d seen Sonny and you’d decided enough was enough.

You weren’t blameless, you’d unfortunately had your fair share of your own shit come up recently that meant you’d had to apologise on your way out of a date just a few nights ago. A sour ball of disappointment settled heavy in the pit of your stomach carrying you through the next few days and it seemed like no matter what you both did your schedules just wouldn’t line up. Sonny himself had ended up cancelling your third attempt to reschedule, voice thick with regret as he called and let you know he’d had a case come up that needed his immediate attention and instead had to spend the foreseeable future chained to his desk and whatever relevant case law he could get his hands on.

You’d only been dating for a few months, and while things had been casual for the most part you felt that the time apart was only making you realise how much you actually liked the man, leaving you with two thoughts as you set your phone down. One, you didn’t want to spend another two weeks chasing each other's voicemails and existing only on goodmorning and goodnight texts no matter how sweet they were and two, from the tone of Sonny’s voice you were sure he felt the same way.

It was with that in mind that you now found yourself standing outside of 1 Hogan Place, biting your lip as you tried to remember if Sonny had ever mentioned which floor he was on. Thankfully the security guard allowed you to fumble your way through your explanation, bag of takeout helping your cause as you mentioned you were just innocently bringing one of the ADA’s dinner. You found your way to Sonny’s office, sighing when you saw that his was the only light on this late on a Friday night. Dating someone who cared so deeply about their work was a blessing ultimately but obviously came with its drawbacks.

You took a deep breath trying to push down the panic that suddenly gripped you, that you were intruding or being a fucking weirdo just turning up out of the blue. What if he thought this was weird? What if he actually didn't want to see you at all and was just using work as a handy excuse to let things fizzle out between you both. You shifted your weight in front of his door, weighing up your options before biting your lip and knocking quietly on his door.

'Yeah?' came an uncertain reply and you pushed it open, all of the apprehension you felt melting away at the look on Sonny's face.

Shock and surprise quickly turned into a wide disarming smile, the same one that had made you very quickly fall for him in the first place and had you relaxing against the doorway now, relieved at finally being able to see each other after a monumentally shitty week.

"Oh man, are you a sight for sore eyes?" he said, sitting back in his chair and looking at you for a moment before jumping up and hurrying over to you, placing hands on either side of your face to kiss you softly. You felt a telltale swoop low in your stomach as you pulled away feeling pleased. ‘Not that I’m not happy as hell to see you but what are you doing here?’ He led you into the room, closing the door behind you.

You held out the plastic bag in his direction, ‘I know you’re too busy to leave the office but that doesn’t mean we can’t still have dinner together?’ You watched nervously as he looked at the bag and back to you, feeling that unease spread again, your face feeling suddenly very warm, ‘Uh but if you are too busy I can just leave this here and go I don’t want to get in the way it’s just-‘ you stopped at his raised hand, watching warily as he grabbed the bag from you and placed it gently on his desk.

When he turned back to you his eyes looked so bright and happy it near knocked the breath out of your chest. He moved in front of you, grabbing your face again and kissing you so tenderly you felt yourself sigh into his mouth, the tense part of you that was desperately missing him uncurling slowly with every brush of his lips and tongue. He pulled back, huffing a laugh and rubbing your cheek with his thumb, ‘I’m sorry I’ve been so busy lately.’

You shook your head, ‘Hey I’ve had my own stuff to deal with, I just missed seeing you’ you said by way of explanation, ‘I’m not above taking the subway for you.’

‘Wow how lucky am I?' Sonny looked at you for a moment and you could swear his eyes actually twinkled, 'You didn’t have to come all this way but I’m not gonna pretend like I’m not happy about it.’

Leaning up on your tippy toes you pressed another brief kiss to his lips before turning to the desk, pulling containers out of the plastic bag, ‘Well I don’t know about you but I’m starving, I got a little bit of everything’ you took a seat at his desk, grinning as he sat down in front of you, ‘And I’ve been dying to tell you about my week, you’ll never guess what happened at work.’

‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.’ He muttered, taking a bite of food with a satisfied sigh.

‘Don’t make promises your ass can’t keep Counselor.’ you said, sending him a quick smirk.

The look he gave you in return was a promise that while you'd bought dinner he was definitely going to bring dessert.

[sematarygirls]

okay but sonny showing you off infront of the squad and making Amanda jelly because he’s sooooo in love with you

need tbh, omg 🤭

                   ౨ৎ

he would be so excited to introduce you to the squad. you two had only been dating for a couple of weeks, but he talked nonstop about you. they thought he rambled enough before he met you, but after? my god, they wanted to throttle him.

he'd want to do it in a casual setting when the whole team was relaxed and not worrying about cases, so when amanda proposed that they all go out for drinks, he saw the perfect opportunity.

he asked, of course, if he could invite you. he didn't want you to just show up and have it be awkward. they all agreed, though, of course. they wanted to see who had been able to make him so happy recently (also, they weren't even entirely sure that you weren't just a figment of his imagination).

amanda had been oddly quiet when he brought up inviting you, plastering a tight smile on her face and nodding.

"of course," she said, something unreadable in her tone.

normally, sonny would have immediately picked up on her shift in demeanor. he was her, self-proclaimed, best friend after all, but he was just so excited to finally introduce you to these people that he had grown to consider his second family.

he shot you a quick text, asking if you were available to meet them at the bar, and thankfully, you were. although you would probably drop anything you were doing if he asked you to anyway.

his fingers drummed on the bar impatiently as he waited for you. he kept glancing over at the door, willing you to walk through it.

"look at him; he's like a lovesick puppy," fin teased him, noticing that he was more interested in the front door than the conversation going on.

"leave the poor boy alone, fin," olivia scolded him playfully. sonny rolled his eyes at their teasing, not paying it any mind.

"oh, here she is," he exclaimed, his eyes lighting up. he practically jumped out of his seat to greet you at the door.

"hey," you laughed, giving him a quick kiss on the lips as he appeared in front of you, seemingly out of nowhere.

"we're right over here," he said, a big, goofy grin on his face. he rested his hand on your lower back, leading you over to the squad. "everyone, this is my girlfriend," he introduced you.

you smiled, giving a little wave as you said hello and told them your name. "it's so nice to finally meet you all. sonny has told me all about you."

"he has, has he?" olivia grinned, raising an eyebrow. sonny smiled nervously, blushing as he rubbed the back of his neck with the hand that wasn't secured around your waist.

"likewise," fin nodded, giving you a warm smile. "i was beginning to think carisi here was making you up."

"nope, definitely real," you laughed nervously. everyone fell silent for a moment, an awkward tension settling. you tried not to take it too personally. you were a stranger, and they were like family. it was natural for there to be some awkwardness. sonny cleared his throat, deciding to break the awkward silence.

"here, take my seat," he insisted, ushering you to the barstool.

"thank you," you smiled brightly, your heart fluttering at your boyfriend's kindness. you didn't think there'd ever be a time when he didn't make your heart race.

"chivalry isn't dead after all," fin joked as you took a seat.

"yeah, yeah," sonny rolled his eyes, a smile playing on his lips. he was used to fin's little remarks by now. he stood behind you, one hand on your waist and the other holding his beer. he was so close that if you leaned back a little, you'd probably press against him. it made a blush rise to your cheeks.

"amanda, right?" you asked, turning your attention to the blonde sitting next to you. she'd been awfully quiet, eyeing you warily. you knew how close sonny was with her, so it was important to you that she liked you.

"yup, that's me," she says, her tone uninterested. she flashes a smile your way, one that doesn't quite meet her eyes.

your brows furrowed slightly. you got the impression that she didn't like you, and you couldn't possibly think of a reason why that may be. you'd only been here for five minutes tops. how had you already done something to put you out of her good graces?

you didn't have long to dwell on this fact, however, because fin's voice cut through your thoughts, making you turn to face him. he began telling some story about his ex-wife that had you smiling and laughing along with him.

fin was so enigmatic. it was almost impossible not to be sucked into whatever he was saying, just by the way that he was saying it.

the rest of the night was a blur of drinks and stories. in the couple hours you were with the squad, you'd learned all about their job and all the embarrassing things sonny had done at one point or another.

he kept on hand on or around you at all times, staying close. so close that you could almost feel the rumble of his laugh. he smiled and doted on you all night long, making you blush. he was so in love with you, and he didn't even try to hide it.

amanda stayed relatively quiet throughout the night, and you could practically feel her burning gaze as she stared at you. she didn't seem anything like what sonny had told you about her, but again, you tried not to take it personally. you were sure she was probably lovely once you got to know her.

really, though, amanda was jealous. she hated how nice you were because it made it hard to hate you (hard, not impossible). she tried to be cordial enough and not show her dislike for you, but to be honest, her poker face wasn't all that great.

she was happy at first when she'd heard him talking about you two, but seeing you two together stirred something inside her that she'd rather not admit.

[tropes-and-tales-archives]

More Precious Than Rubies: Part 2

This is an alternate timeline story that has a Rafael Barba track and a Sonny Carisi track. The two paths split off in part 3.

WC: 1696

TW: Angst; end of relationship drama; SVU-typical case about alleged rape.

AN: The prompt was "You Know Who to Call"

Sonny spent a long while getting over you.  Deep down, he worried that he would never really get over you.  He had messed everything up so badly, and he never realized how much you had brightened his life until you were suddenly gone.  He practically experienced auditory hallucinations, swearing he’d heard his phone chime with a new message – but there was never anything there.  No short, cute messages from you telling him that you missed him and couldn’t wait to see him again.  No forwarded emails about interesting legal cases.  No slightly risqué pictures, like the one you’d sent him the night before your anniversary…which he had ended up missing anyway.

And you were gone.  He guessed that you blocked his number because none of his texts or calls went through.  He sent you a few long, heartfelt emails that he was certain you deleted without reading.  But that was the thing about you:  no matter how badly you were probably hurting, you weren’t going to let it slow you down or derail your life.  As Sonny had remarked once, you had your life together in ways that Amanda never would.

He heard through his Fordham friends that you’d gotten a coveted internship with a firm that specialized in overturning wrongful convictions.  Sonny had always pictured the two of you as two sides of the same righteous coin:  him, punishing evil-doers and you, righting wrongs. 

He only saw you once in the months that followed.  You were standing on the other side of West 62nd street, so bundled against the cold that he almost missed that it was you.  But it was you – the same blue pea coat with the frayed cuffs, the same plaid scarf wound around your neck.  It made Sonny’s stomach drop, and he wanted nothing more than to dash across the street after you.  He wanted to fall onto his knees in front of you, bury his head against your stomach, and beg you to listen to the apologies that had choked him since he’d screwed up and lost you.  But a long line of traffic divided you, and when it was time to cross, he completely lost you in the crowd.

And then it was a solid year before he saw you again.

********

Rafael Barba stood on the other side of the glass with Olivia and Carisi, watching as Fin and Rollins interviewed their suspect.  A jittery young man, one Jeremy Michaels.  Freshman at Hudson University on a full academic scholarship, apparent hope of his family…and accused of raping a seventeen-year old classmate.

The evidence so far was nothing more than the girl’s word, but Barba knew it was in the early stages and SVU would probably find more for him.  His mind wandered to the other cases sitting on his desk, but his reverie was broken by the sound of heels clicking across the floor.  He looked up and saw some anonymous junior detective leading a young woman towards them.

“This is his public defender,” he said with a jerk of the thumb to the sweating young man on the other side of the glass.  Barba perked up and looked you over, and he while he didn’t miss Carisi’s sharp intake of breath beside him, the older man just ignored it. 

For a public defender, you were in a nicer suit than he’d expect, a well-cut jacket over a pencil skirt that hugged your curves nicely.  But you were young – so young that you looked like a child playing dress up.  Even with your hair swept up into a classic chignon and your perfectly manicured hand that you extended to him in greeting, you looked like you should be settling into your own dorm room for college instead of defending human trash.

“ADA Rafael Barba,” he said, wrapping your slim hand in his larger one.  “I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure.”

You introduced yourself.  “Newly minted public defender.”  You glanced over his shoulder at Liv and Carisi, and Barba saw you narrow your eyes a fraction before you nodded at them.  Then you pulled your hand away from his and looked through the one-way mirror.  “Is that my client?”

“It is,” Liv said after clearing her throat.  “It’s good to see you again.”

Barba’s ears pricked up at that – Liv knew you? – but you ignored the niceties. 

“I was hoping it wasn’t Mr. Michaels,” you said.  “Because it’d be a violation of his constitutional rights if you were still interrogating him after he asked for counsel.”

“Not an interrogation,” Liv started, but you cut her off.

“This ends now.  I need a moment with my client, please.”  And then Barba watched as you swept past them and barged into the interrogation room like you owned the place, hustling Fin and Rollins out with a look that he swore was nearly vengeful.  The Liv switched off the speaker, and Barba half-watched you, half-listened to the squad talk around him.

“How do you know her?” he asked conversationally, watching as you talked in earnest to the scared young man and then clasped a reassuring hand to his shoulder.

“She used to date Carisi,” Rollins finally said. 

“Huh,” Barba said.  It made sense.  You were a young public defender.  You couldn’t be that bright:  first of all, you dated Carisi.  Secondly, no one at the top of their class ever became a public defender, no matter how much of a do-gooder they were. 

After a moment, you left the conference room with your client, your chin tilted at the squad in near defiance.  “Charge him or cut him loose,” you said.  “In the meantime, if you need to bring him back in for questioning, you know who to call.” 

Then you marched out of the precinct with Michaels, your head high and your heels a steady staccato, leaving little in your wake other than a hint of some sunny perfume and a room thick with tension.

“That was awkward,” Fin said, and Barba glanced over at Carisi, noting how pale he was, how quiet.  Carisi was never quiet. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Rollins scoffed.  “We have this guy cold.  We’ll arrest him before the week is out and have him found guilty within a month.”

There was something appealing about you, the way you’d strode into that interview room, the way you’d marched back out with your head high and a fire in your eyes.  And, obviously, there were a million questions about a woman who had dated Carisi, of all people on earth. 

Barba was going to almost regret annihilating you in court.

********

You annihilated Barba in court.  You only knew about the swaggering ADA tangentially, but you knew that he relied on style points when SVU couldn’t give him solid cases. 

You always knew you wanted to be a public defender – you knew it since you were a kid who shouldn’t have to know what a public defender even was.  Let people make assumptions about your ability or tenacity.  They’d learn, eventually.

Like ADA Barba.  You saw him look you over, and you saw him make an immediate judgement about your skill.  The SVU squad knew you a bit, but they only knew you as Sonny’s sad-sack ex-girlfriend who used to linger around the precinct for a chance to see your absentee boyfriend.

Sonny knew you best of all of them, but you knew he didn’t know much.  You’d dated for over a year, and he likely couldn’t name half the things a dedicated lover should.  Did he know your favorite flower, or your favorite ice cream flavor?  Unlikely.

Did he know your family history and the preternatural zeal for competent – no, excellent – counsel for the poorest and most desperate citizens?  Even more unlikely.

You knew you’d have to defend the guilty.  You already had a full caseload, with at least three clients who not only committed the crime they were accused of, but freely admitted how much they enjoyed committing it. 

Jeremy Michaels wasn’t one of those cases.  He was innocent and never wavered from his story.  You hunkered down and built him a strong defense, and well – if revealing SVU’s slipshod practices was an outcome of the case, then it was just a happy accident.

In court, you parried every one of Barba’s thrusts, and then watched you eviscerated the state’s case.  You called in witnesses of your own.  In a move that felt so good it felt like a narcotic, you called Amanda to the stand and got her twisted in her own testimony.  Then, when she got upset, she came across as openly hostile, even when Barba tried to cross her and salvage it.  You watched at least three jury members turn on the state’s case, just like that.

And then, the coup de grace:  you exposed SVU as sloppy.  You turned in evidence after evidence of the alleged victim’s social media while the victim was on the stand.  Posts from Facebook that SVU should have found and vetted during their investigation – but didn’t.  It had taken you all of twenty minutes of idle scrolling through the young woman’s social media feed.  You had no idea how NYPD missed it.

And then you made the alleged victim read her own words for the court.  Back-and-forth threads with friends about how she, a honey-blonde white girl from the Upper East Side, was hooking up with a black scholarship kid from Biloxi, Mississippi.  And when one friend opined that the alleged victim’s father would go nuclear when he found out about his only daughter’s hook up?

“Miss Prince, can you read this last comment for the jury?” you asked, and your voice sounded so sweet and accommodating that the woman smiled before she realized what you were asking.

She stuttered, turned bright red, and then read the damning bit in a voice that was so low that you cut her off and made her repeat it. 

“What does it say, Miss Prince?”

The young woman glared at you, then read it in a steadier voice.  “It says, ‘if my dad finds out, I’ll just say he raped me.’”

And everything after that was just a formality, really.

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Sonny Carisi: Part 2 

This wasn’t requested but I had to write another part to this. Part 1 Claddagh Ring. 

Sonny's world had been a haze of pain and anger since the passing of his father. His brain had been in a fog. He hadn’t been able to stop it from swallowing him and forcing its way out. Its target had been you. He knew it wasn’t right, that it wasn’t fair. But he couldn’t completely wrap his brain around the severity of what he was doing. He didn’t see what he was doing that night- picking a fight and yelling about he couldn’t even remember what. He was stuck in his own bubble of misery.  

But when he watched you flip that ring...  

“Don’t flip unless you're sure. It means something-something you can’t take back.” You told him when he had gone to turn it when he made his intentions for you clear.    

It echoed in his ears now. The bubble popped. The world shifted beneath his feet. He could barely feel the counter holding him up. The anger and frustration that had blurred his days disappeared in a flash. It was replaced with a suffocating shock followed by an anguishing pain. A pain radiated from the center of his chest up to his fingertips and down to his toes. 

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 

He doesn’t realize he isn’t just thinking it but saying it out loud until he hears his voice fill with more and more desperation, his voice cracking. You don’t look at him, instead looking up at the ceiling, trying to blink back tears. To dissociate with what your life has become. Sonny walks the few steps over to you on numb legs. You shake your head still refusing to make eye contact with him. Even as his hands reach out to cup your cheeks you turn your face away from him holding your hands up to stop him from touching you.  

Sonny’s heart shatters to pieces and falls to the floor like he does. He sinks to his knees, unable to keep himself upright. “Please, don’t do this. I can fix it. I’m sorry. God, I’m so fucking sorry.” His arms wrap around your waist as he buries his face into your stomach. He keeps repeating those words over and over again, “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.” His accent is thick, and sobs start wrecking through his body. You can feel them vibrate through your body, the pain behind them cutting deep into your heart. 

You never saw Sonny cry when his father passed. Everyone else in his family- his mother, his sisters, his grandmother- all were in a semi-permanent state of tears. But not Dominick Carisi Jr. He seemed to be making up for that now. He was holding you so tightly it was almost painful. You hesitated but couldn’t ignore the compelling need to comfort the man that you loved. One of your hands slowly found its way to his head stroking his hair and the other to his shoulder. For the first time in so long, he leaned into your touch. Taking comfort in your support instead of spurring it.  

Sonny was a stream of thought. Telling you how much he loved you, begging you not to leave him, and repeatedly telling you how sorry he was. He holds you so long that you eventually you sit down with him. He panics misperceiving your movements trying to stop you from leaving. He is distraught. You soothe him as you kneel in front of him. Soon the two of you are both on the floor with silent tears. Sonny is leaning against you completely exhausted from his onslaught of emotions and crying. His eyes are red and swollen and his breathing is shaky.  

You are emotionally wrecked from the night, but your mind is spinning at all that has happened in just a few hours. It’s late, almost two in the morning, and both of you are supposed to work in just a few short hours. You stroke his back, “Hey, let's get you in bed, okay?”  

His bloodshot eyes go to yours and his accent is thicker than ever with exhaustion, “You coming too?” You press your lips together in a firm line. You consider him for a second, then nod. You help him to his feet and into the bedroom. He barely takes his pants and button-up off before he collapses in bed numbly. You walk into the closet to change into sweatpants and hesitate in your reach for Sonny’s Fordham sweatshirt that you had taken over. You eventually reach for one of your own instead.  

When you walk out Sonny's eyes are a dead stare at the closet. You slowly walk around to climb into your side of the bed. There had been distinct sides in the last few months. Sonny breaks that now. His arm wrapped around you spooning you. You wish the touch didn’t feel so damn good because despite it all you are still hurt. Unsure he could repair the wounds that he had inflicted.  “I’m gonna fix this, I swear.” He whispers against your hair. “I love you.” 

You can’t find it in yourself to say it back. Not now. 

Taglist @polkadotpenguin16  @pulparindos 

[polkadotpenguin16]

The Five Stages of Grief: Denial

Pairing: Sonny Carisi x female reader

Tags: more angst; language

Word count: 1,871

Previous parts: Prologue

You went from crying on your bathroom floor to your best friend’s kitchen. Floors seemed to be the best place for a mental breakdown. Your friend wasn’t much of a drinker, but she did have a couple boxes of white wine meant for cooking. She said this was a much better use.

It did the trick.

You couldn’t believe you just walked away from Sonny like that. But you felt like you had no other options. You’ve spent far too long in relationships, both romantic and platonic, being someone’s second choice. Waiting for them to choose you. You couldn’t do it again.

“And he just stood there trying to explain why he just HAD to help AMANDA tonight.” You were retelling the night’s events, a little tipsy from the shitty wine. “How could he think that was okay? Spending all night at some other woman’s house?! How can someone be so smart, and so cute, and so…fucking stupid?”

“Probably all that hair gel,” she suggested nonchalantly. “Too thick to let any commonsense in.”

That made you snort through your nose. She was always good at making heavy situations feel lighter.

“I’m really sorry, girlfriend. You deserve better.” She tenderly rubbed your shoulder, trying to soothe your broken heart. “But you know Sonny. He’s a little…thick…but he’s got a big heart. He just wants to help everyone. That’s why you fell in love with him, remember? Sonny the Superman?”

“Whatever.” You took another swig from the box. “It’s probably better this way.”

“Hey, now, you don’t mean that—”

“I DO mean that! I was never good enough for him!” You were getting animated, spilling wine everywhere. “You’re right—he’s Superman. He needs to be with somebody just as super. Someone he can fight crimes with. Or talk about his lawyer-y stuff with who actually understands him. I mean, who knows what the hell he’s talking about? He should come with a translator. And build a perfect life with them. Y’know, the two-and-a-half kids, a dog, and the white picket fence and shit!”

You started crying again. How did you have any tears left? “He deserves the best. And she’s it! Hell, he’s probably been in love with her since they met. Why he settled for a nobody like me in the first place, I’ll never know. I’m no superhero. My power is organizing spreadsheets and tripping over my own feet. He could have Wonder Woman. Why would he want to be stuck with…whoever the fuck Superman’s lame girlfriend is!”

Your friend was quiet, letting you vent and trying to find the right words. “I know it seems that way right now.” She softens her voice, forcing you to listen more intently to hear her. “That this is all doom and gloom. Just give it time. Have some grace. His love is genuine, and he never considered it settling. You’ll work everything out.”

Resting your head against the refrigerator, you sighed. “I don’t think this can be fixed, girl. Maybe…maybe it shouldn’t be.”

She leaned in for a hug, wrapping you tightly in her embrace. You sob into her shoulder, deeply leaning into her for support. You sat silently for a while, the same thought echoing over and over in your mind.

Maybe it’s better this way…

Sonny was brought out of his trance by his alarm buzzing. He hadn’t slept at all. He just kept replaying what happened last night. It was in crystal clear high-definition in his head. How heartbroken you were. How hurt you were.

Then you just disappeared.

He hoped you’d text him when you got to your friend’s place like he asked. For his peace of mind and a sign that you didn’t completely hate him. Anxiously staring at his phone for much longer than he knew it would take you to get there, it felt like his heart was going to erupt from his chest. The list of horrific things that could’ve happened to you was getting too long. Desperate, Sonny texted your friend. He just had to know where you were. It wasn’t until after 2 in the morning that he got a reply.

Yeah she’s here.

Well, at least he knew you were safe. Still uneasy, he dared to ask if you were okay. Deep down, he already knew the answer, and it was reinforced by her response.

You think she’d be here if she was okay? Give her some time. When she’s ready, you better fix this mess you made.

This disconnect was torturing him. He wanted to fix things now. But your friend was right. He resigned himself to waiting until you came back later.

He tries his best to put himself together and heads to the precinct. Dragging his feet, he stumbled into the bullpen.

“You get hit by a bus on the way?” Rollins immediately noticed his haggard appearance. “You look like crap.”

“Good morning to you, too,” he muttered sitting at his desk, head in his hands, trying to collect himself.

“What, your girlfriend kick you out or something?” Fin joked from his seat.

“Actually, she left last night.”

“Wait, really?” Rollins was surprised to hear this. He made the two of you sound like a fairytale love story. You were his favorite topic and would bring you up in every conversation he could. She wondered what could have changed.

Fin glared at him suspiciously. “Whaddya do?”

Sonny took a deep breath. “I, uh, forgot about our date last night, and I, sorta…stood her up.” He was mentally kicking himself for being such a moron. The guilt made his stomach churn and his head throb.

“Dude...” Fin sat back in his chair and leered.

“I know, I know. I was helping Rollins, and I just—I spaced it. She packed a bag and went to stay with her friend.”

“That’s a bit of an overreaction, don’t you think?” Rollins tilted her head back and forth as she weighed out his actions. “But I get why she’d be upset. You should’ve told me you had plans, Carisi.”

Sonny buried his face deeper into his hands, feeling even guiltier.

“Stood her up? She ain’t ever gonna forget that, man,’” Fin remarked, rubbing salt into his wounds.

“But it’s gonna be fine.” Sonny sat up with a newfound determination. “We’ll talk tonight when she gets back. I’ll beg for forgiveness, and it’ll all work out.”

Rollins looked at him skeptically. “You sure about that?”

“Of course, I’m sure!” He huffed, astonished she would even ask. “Couples fight, it’s natural. They kiss, they make up, and things go back to how they were.”

“Most fights don’t include the girl leaving in the middle of the night,” Fin pointed out.

“She just—she needed some time to cool down.” You’ve always been able to resolve your arguments. They’d never been this intense before, but Sonny was confident this was all going to blow over. “She’s gonna come home and we’ll talk. I’m gonna fix this, and this will all have been a horrible dream.”

“If you say so.” Sounding unconvinced, she returned to her laptop.

Luckily, it was a slow day at the station. A rarity as of late. Sonny busted his hump finishing all his paperwork so he could ask Benson if he could head out early.

“Leaving so soon?” Rollins questioned as he put on his coat.

“Gotta run to the store and grab some things for dinner. I want everything to be perfect when she gets back.”

“I’d be picking up some flowers if I were you,” Fin advised as he sipped his coffee.

“That too—the whole nine yards.”

“Well, best of luck to you,” she hollered as he sprinted toward the elevator.

He went to the store and picked up everything to make chicken marsala. It was the first dish he ever cooked for you. He bought extra ingredients so he would have enough leftovers for you to have lunch for work tomorrow.

He swung by the flower stand to pick up a bouquet of sunflowers—your favorites. He planned out his apology in his head on the way back. Thinking of all the ways he messed up and how he would rectify them.

When he got home, he called out to you, but didn’t hear a response. Setting the bags down, he looked around the apartment to see that you weren’t home yet. Concerned, he checked his watch. It was a little early. You were probably still at work. He unpacked the groceries and started preparing dinner.

After washing the produce and still no sign of you, worry started to creep in. He knew you needed some space last night, but surely, you’d come back soon. He was positive you missed him as much as he missed you. So, he decided to send you a text.

Hey doll, what time are you coming home? Getting dinner on the stove and want it to be ready when you get back.

There was no answer. Five minutes turned into ten. He chopped up the mushrooms and garlic and let them sauté in the pan before checking his phone. There was still nothing. He opened a bottle of beer to help settle his nerves. It was half-way gone when he checked again.

Still, nothing.

Not wanting to panic yet, he texted you again.

I’m sorry about last night. I really need to talk to you. I miss you.

Several more minutes passed. He could see the messages labeled as “read” on his phone. You just weren’t responding. Skipping past panic and going into full-blown hysteria, he fumbled with his phone trying to call you. He paced around the kitchen anxiously while listening to the phone ring.

Once. Twice. Three times.

He heard the call pick up after the fourth ring. But he couldn’t hear anyone on the other end. “Doll?” He asked hesitantly, wondering if you had actually answered.

He barely heard a whisper, “…yes…”

“Doll, are you okay?! When are you coming home?” He was frantic, talking a mile a minute. “Please come back! I’m really sorry and have to talk to you—I need to explain. We’ve gotta work this out. Just please—I need you to come home!”

You silently wept while listening to him ramble. You wanted to believe this could all be fixed, but your heart was telling you it would be futile. The cycle would just continue. What would happen the next time someone else needed him? Would you be enough?

“I’m sorry…” You were barely able to get your words out. “I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?!” It felt like his whole world was slipping through his fingers. Like water through a sieve. He was unable to stop it or even slow it down. “We have to fix this! Please come home!”

“I love you, but I just…” The line went quiet. He called out your name once, twice, but it was useless.

You were gone.

Sonny had never felt so defeated in his life. Slumping against the counter, he slammed his phone down. His eyes started to feel wet. He stood in the kitchen and quietly cried, taken aback by the fallout of one night. One mistake. One forgotten date.

[daddydoddsjr]

Mafia!Sonny AU

Pairing || Mafia!Sonny Carisi x Female!Reader

Contents/Warnings || Mentions of assault, mentions mafia business, stalking, obsessiveness

Part 1/?

Authors Note || i hinted i was going to do this a while back and simply forgot.. but here’s a little taste. this fic currently is nameless cause idk what to name it :’) i’ll figure it out eventually. also didn’t proofread lol

Tag List || @teddybluesclues

“Piece of shit,” Sonny mumbled to himself as he left the apartment with two other men, just having watched them nearly beat the life out of the man who lived there. The very stupid man who thought he could get away with not paying back the 5 grand he owed to the Carisi family. Sonny had been in charge of things for a while now since his father was getting older, and so far everything had been running smoothly, just with the occasional pester from his mother to get married and start having children, to carry on the family name.

Sonny’s mind was elsewhere as he walked down the hall to the elevator, waiting for its arrival, acting normal. The doors opened and revealed you, standing there quietly. You gave Sonny a small smile and moved to the side so they could come in; you were all going down to the lobby from the two top floors. Jesus christ, he thought you were the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. He made a point to stand beside you and let his men stand on the other side of them. They talked quietly about something while Sonny snuck glances at you— taking in every detail. Your hair colour, the way you held yourself, the type of clothes you were wearing, every detail.

He let you off first and waited until you were out of the building to tell one of his men, “Follow her for the day. I want to know everything.” His man, Nick, knew better than to argue with his boss and silently headed after you. You were oblivious to him the entire day as you had lunch with a few friends and went shopping before going back to your apartment. He reported back to Sonny the details; the first names of who you were with, your first name, what you ordered, what you bought, etc. Sonny was enamoured. This wasn’t the first time, though. He had a bit of a habit for seeing a pretty woman and following them for a bit, sneaking his way into their lives if he really wanted to. They never went too far, though, every time he found a new woman, something went wrong. She would freak out once she found out about the family business, or they were only in it for the money, they were too entitled, etc, etc, etc. You were his new interest now, whether you liked it or not.

It started off slow. At first, you saw him at your usual coffee shop. You remembered him from the apartment building and assumed he lived there or was visiting someone, so you didn’t think much about him being at the coffee shop so close to the building. You saw him a few days later near your work as you were leaving. You owned an antique shop and you had people that worked there for you, but you stopped by once a week to check up on things. He was just walking by, nonchalantly. The second time you saw him at the coffee shop, he struck up a conversation with you while you both waited on your coffees, saying how he remembers seeing you in the elevator and how it must be a coincidence that you ran into each other again.

You had to admit to yourself that he was attractive; his greying dirty blonde hair that was so neatly done, the piercing blue eyes that looked at you so intently, his 6 foot lanky frame, the way he called you doll in that accent of his. You ran into him a couple more times before he finally asked you on a date, saying something about it being too coincidental that you both liked so many of the same places and clearly the universe was trying to say something. Cliche, but you fell for it easily, since you already liked him. He was weaselling his way right into your world and it was working just as he wanted.