#this was like long before the elections started getting serious I'm surprised at how much I predicted

[the-kaedageist]

I'm inconsistent in terms of reflecting on my writing habits, but after such a difficult year, I felt as though it was time. I've been surprised at how much exhaustion, burnout, and war has sapped my creativity and my ability to write, even though it makes total sense. I've been trying to be patient with myself anyway. In accounting for these last couple days of 2023, I've also been trying to appreciate the writing that I did accomplish in the last year.

Regrets

I really had hoped to finish posting the Tusk Love sequel this year, and alas that has not borne fruit, although I am still chugging along on revisions! Hurrah! It's somewhat disheartening, though, when the majority of it was written in February 2022, literally right up until the day the full-scale invasion began. I'm still stuck in the middle of edits for the next chapter - I last opened it in the Dublin airport three weeks ago, and I've been occupied since - but I am hoping to get that out soon. I do have faith I will finish this story…but I don't know how long it will take me.

I still have hopes to eventually finish and post the consecution fic that I also worked so hard on last year. A lot of the story has been jossed by campaign 3 canon (Ludinus is a main character) and I haven't really had the energy to retool it to fit current canon OR make the decision to just release it as-is. The truth of the matter is that I have had much more brain space for writing this year than for editing and making critical decisions about structure/plot/etc. In many ways, those are the things that I need to be able to post things to AO3, and it has meant a serious backlog.

I also struggled to stick to a steady writing routine this year, in part because my life itself was not routine. I traveled frequently and had an unpredictable work schedule. There were also just the very, very bad days that happen sometimes when your beloved former home is going through a calamity. It was so hard to work through that, and to WRITE through that, that many days I just didn't try.

Victories

Despite all these obstacles, I somehow still wrote nearly 85,000 words this year! I'm trying to celebrate those as a victory rather than seeing that number as a defeat. It's a significant decrease from the last two years (2021 I wrote 280,000 and 2022 I wrote 336,000) but it's still 85,000 more words than I used to write before I started my steady writing habit in 2021. That's the equivalent of a whole novel! And I kept up my writing from January to December, even if there were months I fell off completely!

The real thing to celebrate here is the perseverance - when writing got immensely hard, I didn't stop writing. I'm so, so proud of myself for that.

Looking Forward

So what will 2024 bring? If today is any indication, probably more of the same burnout and low word count production. I will continue to update 2 Tusk 2 Love, but likely updates will be just as slow as they were this year. I'm hoping to be able to publish my consecution fic, but I don't know if I will get the energy to do that, and it's still stuck at 50% complete (as opposed to Tusk Love, which is at 90% and just mostly needs rewrites). But these things are hard to predict. If an idea catches me, if suddenly I hyperfocus on writing again, if I get captured by a story once more - that could change.

May 2024 bring us all many things. May it bring us a not-terrible election in the United States. May it bring us victory and peace in Ukraine. May it bring us an end to war and genocide all over the world, especially in Gaza. May it bring us health and prosperity and freedom from the scourge that is covid. And may it bring us all inspiration and creativity for a brilliant future.

[nightshadeshadow123]

Jealousy: Part 2(A.M-R)-(C.G)

You lazily trailed your fingers up and down Ally's bare back as she laid against your side, still recovering from her previous orgasms and the way you've dominated her when she tried and failed to when you reminded her who's in charge.

"Do we really have to go to the academy?" Ally asked, moving her head to prop up on top of your breast, her brown eyes connecting with yours, her arm lazily wrapped around your stomach and her bare legs interwined with yours.

You smiled at her warmly, tugging a strand of her hair behind her ear before cradling her warm cheeck, admiring her beauty as her eyes flutter close for a moment before snapping them open to look at you again.

"Yes, I really miss the academy and the others. That place was my safe place before I came here and met you. And it would be good to see the others again. It's been so long." You said, a look of nostalgic crossing your face that have Ally's heart tug.

"Okay love. I just don't..." Ally frowned.

You continued rubbing her smooth back again and shot her a confused look.

"You just don't what my lover?" You questioned as you trailed your thumb softly over her cheekbone, forcing her to keep eye contact with you.

Ally smiled before nuzzling your palm, kissing your wrist affectionately.

"I just don't like the way that woman looks at you and touch you." She finally admitted, her arm tightening around you.

You blinked confusedly for a moment before chuckling. "You mean Cordelia?"

"Yes."

"How does she look at me?" You asked, half unsure if you should actually ask that and what she would say.

Ally rolled her eyes and let out a huff before looking up at you again.

"Like you hung the moon and all the stars in the sky just for her." A hint of jealous clear in her tone.

You laid still, for a moment unsure and confused at what the older woman said.

"I'm sure you are just looking too much into this Ally. She's just being her usual self like she was with me in the Academy. And besides she knows I have you. I'm sure she won't try anything even if that's true." You assured after awhile, kissing her cheeck.

Ally smiled at the affectionate gesture before turning serious again. "I don't think I'm reading into it too much, I know how someone looks at the somebody their in love with. But if that's the case she better know that you are mine and she can't have you." She said lowly, lowering her head to your neck and began to suck at the soft skin there, making sure to leave marks there.

You let out a moan before chuckling at the older woman, digging your nails into her back with the hand on her back while digging your other hands fingers into her hair, pressing her into your neck more.

"I like it when you get all jealous." You said.

"I'm not jealous, I'm simply protective of what's mine." Ally mumbled against your neck, sucking one last hickey into your flesh before pulling away to admire her claim on you.

You let out a laugh before pushing her head downwards and crashing her lips onto yours in a bruising kiss, electing a yelp from her but she returned the kiss eagerly.

After a few minutes you break away from the kiss much to Ally's dismay and pecked her just below the ear and squeezing her as with both hands that have her jolting in surprise but before she could kiss you again you've already rolled away and have gotten up from the messy bed, smirking cheekily at the older woman as she glared at you.

"You damned tease." She mumbled and watched adoringly as you get dressed while leaning on her propped up palm.

She stuck the tip of your tongue out at her while pulling on your jeans.

"Well we should be getting packed." You said after awhile, walking over to your wardrobe.

"Now? But I thought we were going to wait before going to the academy." Ally sat up, pushing away the wine red satin bedsheets.

"Yes now. And I pretty much am excited for this trip. To see the others and also to hear out what Delia and Myrtle have to say." You pulled out some older academy robes you used to wear and some more modern clothes too, neatly putting them down on the bed next to Ally.

Ally only grumbles before getting up too, lazily walking over to a dresser to pull out two Suitcases. "Okay, if to you say so."

You took the two suitcases from her and set them on the bed, immediately starting to pack your stuff in while Ally got hers ready.

"I think you'll really love the academy. But just a early warning, try and don't take too much offence to Madison. She can be a bit bitchy, but she's my bitch sis." You said, looking at Ally for a moment before packing in your earphones and phone charger.

"Wait, you have a sister?" Ally asked and stopped packing to look at you, a confused look.

You kept your eyes focused on packing, not looking up at the older woman.

"Uh, had." You cleared your throat to distract her from that one. "But Madison isn't my real sister." You spoke quickly before walking over to the bathroom to get toothbrushes, toothpaste and body wash and other necessities.

Ally shot you another confused look as you walked away when notching your behaviour but chose to ignore it for the time being.

-Time skip-

You looked to the familiar acadmey in front of you before giving Ally a smile and squeezing her soft hand in yours softly as she looked up at the academy in awe and wonder.

"It's...It's so-." Ally tried to get more out but she was too in awe to finish that sentence, brown eyes focused on the white towering building in front of you and her.

"It's so what? Beautiful? Magnificent?" You heard a familiar warm voice question from the your side, pride in her voice.

You and Ally both whipped to the side to at the familiar voice, a smile on your face as you faced your Supreme while Ally gripped your hand tighter at being startled.

"Delia." You greeted her warmly, heart fluttering for a moment at her beaming smile, the sun's rays shining on her hair making it appear golden, you are certain people will mistake her for an angel instead of a witch, hell you did when you met for the first time when she found you all those years ago.

"(Y/N), I'm glad you decided to visit so fast. The others will be so glad to see you." The blonde stopped near you and pulled you into a tight hug, one that you eagerly returned with the arm that isn't holding onto Ally's.

Ally narrowed her eyes, the hug happening to long for her comfort and she squeezed your hand before tugging your arm slightly until you break away from the hug and stood straight next to her.

"I hope you don't mind that I've brought Ally with me." You looked to your girlfriend, giving her a warm smile before looking at Cordelia again.

Cordelia forced a smile, her eyes briefly flicking to Ally before looking back at you with a certain warmth in her eyes, taking in every detail in of you that is absolutely perfection in her eyes. How she just wanted to treasure you forever.

"Oh, no I don't mind at all." Cordelia lied, a bit upset for not being able to spend alone time with you.

Ally could pick up the tone of disappointment in the Supreme's voice but she can only bring herself to feel pride as she tugged you closer to her, planting a kiss on your cheeck that have you smiling like a dork.

Cordelia clensed one fist at her side, trying to keep her powers and jealousy at bay as she watched the way you smile at the brunette, wishing it was her that you look at with so much adoration and love.

She watched a moment before clearing her throat, grabbing both you and Ally's attention to her.

"Let's go inside and greet the others." She walked past you and up the stairs as you and Ally followed close behind her.

Upon entering the building you took notice of Mallory and Queenie bickering over something, Zoe and Madison both on their phones while on the couch, completely ignoring the small bickering.

You quietly putted your suitcase on the floor and sneaked closer to the two on the couch before hugging Madison's shoulders from behind and saying loudly.

"Suprise bitch, bet you thought you'd never see me again!"

Madison threw her phone to the floor, eyes wide as saucers at being startled, her hands flying to your arms.

"OH MY FUCKING G!!" By that everyone's focused on you and Madison, Zoe glaring at her at the sudden yell but beaming when she saw you hugging the bitchy girl.

"(Y/N)?! What a surprise to see you!" Zoe got up from the sofa and walking around it to pull you into a welcomed hug that you returned.

"God bitch, you made me drop ma fucking phone." Madison glared at you over the couch but you pick up on the hint of a smile tugging at her lips as Queenie and Mallory rushed over to greet you eagerly.

Cordelia stood next to Ally, a adoring smile on her face as she watched the interaction between you and the girls.

"What's all this ruckus for young ladies?" Myrtle demanded as she walked down the stairs, looking around in alert for a moment until her eyes landed on you.

"My gosh. Am I seeing ghost or is this for real?" The red haired woman questioned jokingly as she walked over to you and pulled you into a hug.

"Myrtle. Am I glad to see you too." You spoke and returned the hug.

Ally could feel herself smiling at the interactions between the lot, glad to see the joy you rarely displayed.

"Just look at you. All grown up. I think I might just cry." Myrtle joked and you just rolled your eyes at her playfully.

"Hey! I was only away for six months, you make it sound like I was away for six years."

Myrtle chuckled at that. "Well, it certainly felt like you were away for six years dear."

You, Ally, Cordelia and the others sat on the sofa say to drink some coffee and catch up for awhile before Cordelia showed you to a guest bedroom that you and Ally will be sharing while Ally stayed behind to talk with the others.

"Thank you Delia." You thanked the blonde after putting your and Ally's suitcases in the room.

"It's not a problem Sweetheart." Cordelia said warmly.

You felt your heart raise at the pet name, choosing to brush it off along with the feeling of her eyes focused on you, becoming a bit tense under her gaze.

"Myrtle is still looking a bit into that earlier thing you told me about your magic. I think she's close to solving it, she was kinda excited and intrigued by it when I brought it up."

You stood there for a few moments and, your mind drifting a bit.

Cordelia walked closer to you, brown eyes focused on you intensely as she brushed a warm hand against your soft arm, noting the goosebumps appearing on your skin at her touch while you turned your head to hide the flush appearing on your cheecks.

The blonde leaned her head closer until you felt her breath against your cheeck. You could feel her eyes burning into you, thinking back to what Ally have said.

"(Y/N)." Cordelia whispered. "Look at me."

You shook your head slightly, thinking back to Ally's words, mind going on overdrive.

Cordelia could see you were lost in your head somewhat but she wanted your attention on her.

"Please look at me Sweetheart." She urged softly, her hand gripping your arm softly and tugging you closer.

You finally snapped your head towards her, (e/c) eyes meeting with her intense brown ones, emotions you couldn't quite place dancing behind her eyes.

Cordelia leaned closer, her lips brushing against your cheeck softly for a few moments, waiting to see your reaction and scared that you'd push her away as her lips stayed on one spot, both her hands trailing up your arms before cupping your cheecks.

"Cordelia." You whispered half shocked and half in a daze, your eyes falling shut as your heartbeat sped up.

She hummed, her lips trailing closer to your lips but you snapped your eyes open and immediately pushed her away.

A look of hurt crossed her face as she watched you put as much distance as possible between you and her.

"What the fuck Delia?" You asked dazely, feeling guilty at enjoying that a little too much as you thought of Ally.

"I'm...I'm sorry. I don't...know what came over me." Cordelia apologised, trying to mask her true feelings at this.

You looked at her for a moment before muttering. "I have to go." with that said you turned and walked down the stairs.

Cordelia stood still, her mind running wild, the feeling of your soft skin still lingering on her lips along with that familiar peaches and cream scent of your body wash as she fiddle with her hands, feeling a sense of longing tearing through her in a strong wave.

'What the hell came over me. She probably hates me now. The only person that gave me meaning even when she was lost and broken.' The blonde thinks loudly in her own head, one of her hands clenching into a fist.

"Miss Goode? Are you alright?" A voice startled the blonde but she calmed down upon seeing Nan standing a few feet away.

"I'm...I'm fine." Cordelia lied.

Nan only shook her head. "You aren't. Your thoughts are really loud and all over the place."

Cordelia collected herself a bit before looking at Nan again. "It's nothing to worry about. I must go." She said before walking to her own room, not ready to be asked more questions by Nan.

Nan only watched with a knowing look as Cordelia closed her door behind her, knowing the blonde have a crush on you from all her loud thoughts that is constantly focused all around you.

"Miss Goode. You can be such a fool sometimes." Nan whispered to herself before also going down the stairs to greet you eagerly.

You sat next to Ally, not paying, much attention to the others as you are lost in thought, your hand resting on Ally's upper leg while she covered your hand with hers on her leg, answering any questions the others asked her.

-End

Sorry for the long wait and that's it's super short, was not feeling well and things are a bit hectic. Who do you guys think the reader should end up with? I'm kinda conflicted but I also have a idea I may want to use with one of them. And sorry for this crappy part but I didn't want to take too long and leave ya hanging. I've also not added Ozzy in here.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

Hmm, I'm always open for a good angsty write request with Arthur and Lewis. How about: Lewis manages to capture Arthur, takes him to his mansion and is ready to kill him, but for some reason he just can't! I don't imagine it as Lewthur stuff, but feel free to write it that way if you want to. Oh and you don't have to sccept the request if you don't want to ;)

(lewis happens to find arthur’s laptop and stumble across the record of his search, and is understandably pretty fucking confused by the whole thing. also arthur can be very scary sometimes)

“Why would you look for- him?” Lewis paces back and forth in front of the cell, glaring down at the computer in his hands instead of the man in front of him.

He hears a breathy, shaky laugh from his prisoner, a sound he recognizes as less actually amused and more vaguely hysterical. “Are you s-serious? Who the- the hell do you think you are, even?”

“Why go to all this effort?” He elects to ignore the inflammatory question. Instead, he gestures at the computer screen, finally looking up. Arthur’s now leaning against the bars, his arm propped over his head, squinting at him in disbelief. “Saying you’ll look is one thing, but this? Why put in this much work when you know-?” He looks back down at the screen, once again reviewing the map it displays. How long has he had to look? and already there’s a dozen or so locations marked off, and the sidebar shows plenty of research done into each one. It just doesn’t make sense - Arthur loves to overdo things, but even for him, going this far for a fake investigation is a lot.

Arthur stares at him for a moment longer, and then his gaze finally drops to the floor, his shoulders shaking with- laughter, probably, though he can’t actually hear it.

“He was my b-best friends,” he says in a low, almost toneless voice. “We loved each other. Wh- why the hell wouldn’t I- I-” and then he looks back up. His expression is different now, less confused. His hand shifts to grip the bars instead of passively resting against them.

Now he gets it, Lewis thinks. He’s realized that he knows what he did. There’s no point in keeping up this act anymore.

“Oh.”

Confess.

“I get it. I-I-I get it.” He drawls out the phrase, voice laced with something Lewis barely ever hears from his- former friend. He’s angry. “Y-you’re the one who did it, are- aren’t you? Who- who t-took him?”

What?

“Did you th-think I would just- give up?” He starts to stand - his legs shake and he has to grip the bars tighter to hold himself up, but he still does, until he’s almost at eye level with Lewis. “Y-you’d- what, kill him? And I’d just t-take it lying down? Like I wouldn’t want to fucking know wh-what happened? Fucking dumbass. Of course I looked!”

Lewis is having a hard time processing what Arthur’s saying. This cover took a turn for the kind of batshit. Why couldn’t he just give it up? “What do you think happened?”

“I. Don’t. Know!” His hand shakes the bars as he lunges forward slightly, as much as he can in the small space. “You d-didn’t leave any fucking trace! You-” His eyes scan Lewis’s face, mouth locked into something between a smile and a grimace. “Why the hell would you d-do this? You need t-to kill people? Or are you one of th-those sick fucks who thinks it’s fun?”

Lewis narrows his eyes and tosses the computer in his hands to the side. “I didn’t kill Lewis Pepper!” he snaps, lifting off the ground slightly. For a moment, fire consumes his vision as he calls forth his human guise. When it clears, Arthur’s stood back, and he takes a small amount of satisfaction from his stunned, lost expression.

“You did. And you can stop-”

Suddenly a hand shoots out from the bars and before Lewis can even process what’s going on, he’s grabbed by the tie and slammed into the front of the cell with surprising force. Fuck, he forgot how fast Arthur could be.

Their faces are inches apart now, and even though it’s little more than a shaky whisper, he can hear Arthur perfectly when he hisses something laced with more fury than he’s… ever heard in his voice. “You take that f-face off right now or I s-swear-”

“What’s the matter?” He forces himself to stay calm, even though he’s suddenly struggling with the powerful urge to light him on fire and get the fuck out of this room. “Can’t handle seeing the truth?”

“The truth?” There’s another jolt as the pressure on his neck increases. “H-hey, look, I d-don’t know what kind of fucking mess you th-think I am, but I can at least r-remember I don’t want t-to kill my friends.”

Don’t run. Don’t run. He’s still a human and you’re twenty times stronger than he is and you could incinerate him before he even laid a hand on your anchor-

“You think this is an illusion? That I’m trying to trick you? This is me, Arthur! I’m Lewis and I remember what you did!”

“If this is your gr-grand plan f-for me,” Arthur pulls harder again and Lewis is yanked down until they’re eye-to-eye again, “quite s-s-sincerely, just fucking kill me now. I- I’m not falling for your st-stupid tricks.”

That does it. Lewis shifts his weight and uses the leverage to kick Arthur back- and he really didn’t mean to do it hard, he just wanted to shove him off, but he’s also not too bothered by him slamming into the opposite wall with a smoking burn mark in his shirt.

“This isn’t over,” he says when he’s sure Arthur isn’t getting back up. “You will admit what you’ve done. And you’re not getting out of here until you do.”

And then he’s out of the room before he can respond.

[orange-waterfalls]

Say It Back (2/2)

The Host x gender neutral!reader

@thekillingjoke-haha ty for the request(still)

Part 1

A/N: ok i know i made a playlist called "songs to cry to" and listened to it while writing a sappy fic but..... I didn't think I'd actually cry??? I had no idea how to end it I'm sorry ahvsgsvs. also I feel like should point out that I do headcanon that Host is on the aromantic scale, so that's why you are the literal only person who he has fallen in love with. Because. You're special???? I guess????? But uh I hope u like this. Rated T for cursing. Enjoy???

Word Count: 2.4k

Requests are open!

--

“Host, what the fuck are we doing?” Illinois asks with his hands on his hips.

Host sighs and stops pacing the floor. He turns to the egos- excluding Bim, who is behind him- who he has lined up in the living room. A day has passed since you went on that date with that guy. Host has no idea who he is, but he doesn’t like him.

“Host needs you all to help him,” Host states, his voice managing to stay flat though he was experiencing many emotions at the moment. Not all of the egos were present. The more serious/dangerous ones(i.e. The Googles, Darkiplier, Yandere, etc.) were not there. He’d also kicked out the ones he didn’t trust with something this important(i.e. Ed, Silver Shepard, King of the Squirrels, etc.). There is still a fair amount of them, however.

“Help? Wit what?” Yancy asks. The Host takes a deep breath.

“Host… wants to tell Y/N he’s in love with them…” A series of cheers, groans, and sounds of money being passed follow his statement.

“Okay, but what do we have to do with this?” Dr. Iplier gestures to himself and the nearly identical people next to him.

“Host… is not the most familiar with romantic relationships…” Host explains softly, “He does not know what to do… he needs help…” The room is silent and the Host’s heart beats softly in his ears.

“Oh, hell yeah!” Bing cheers. The other egos join and agree to help. Host swells with joy. These people are maniacs but, dammit, they’re family. Basically, anyways. “So, what do we do?”

“Hm?” Host is snapped out of his thoughts.

“Well, what are we supposed to do? Is there a plan or something?” Host stares at Bing. He… hadn’t thought of that. A plan… would be useful… in this specific situation… hm…

“Uh…” Host scratches his neck while he thinks. Bim rolls his eyes.

“Oh, Christ. Fine,” he pulls a chair up to the coffee table in front of them while the others sit across from him on the couch and in the seats.

“Does… Does Bim have a plan?” Host’s eyebrows raise in surprise.

“I have a lot of free time and believe you me, I knew you wouldn’t be able to do this yourself,” Bim explains. Some of the egos chuckle while Host blushes.

“Now,” He leans forward, as do the rest of them, “Here’s what we’ll do…”

--

Host does not know how he let himself get into this situation.

He is holding a bouquet of flowers, standing in the middle of your house, wearing a bowtie, of all things, waiting for you to get back. And when you got back, he’d take you to the movies, then to dinner, then the park and he’d finally confess his everlasting love for you while you watched the sunset. And then he’d go in for the kiss. Perfect.

Except… not perfect. Bim neglected to explain what he was supposed to do while all these activities were taking place. He didn’t do romance! He didn’t know how to talk to people! What is he supposed to talk about? The weather? His job? The goddamn election? What?!

Host took a deep breath to slow his beating heart. He could feel the blood threatening to drip from his eyes. He squared his shoulders and faced your door. You should be here soon. Bim said you’d be here soon.

Bim had a plan. Like, a plan plan. An “I have been waiting for this moment for so long that I already have every single detail planned down to the letter” plan. Illinois and Yancy would pretend to get in a fight outside your work. You’d go outside and break it up. You’d ask them what the fight was about, they’d give a stupid answer and you’d tell them to go home. Then Eric would show up, tell you that he thought he left something at your house the last time he was there and he really, really needed it. You’d tell your boss you needed to go home. You’d go home, open your door, and boom! Host takes you out. On a date.

Bim, King, and Dr. Iplier would take care of the rest. Bim would make sure the theater was clear… by doing whatever he does… Dr. Iplier would call the people who reserved a table at a fancy restaurant that they’re dying and need to get to the hospital immediately. King would make sure the park was clear by getting his squirrels to scare people away. It was perfect.

...

What the hell is he doing? He isn’t… like this. This is false advertising for what would actually happen if you two are to date. He’d probably spend a whole day writing and then hug you when you went to bed. Maybe a kiss.

But this? Movies(that he can’t watch)? Fancy restaurants? Watching the sunset? This isn’t him. Is it too late to cancel?

Host stiffens when he hears your car pull into the driveway.

30 seconds to make a decision. A) He can stay and go through with the plan or B) he can throw himself out the window.

He hears your keys in the lock and there is apparently an unforeseen third option where he walks out the back door like a sensible person. He breathes heavily once he’s in your backyard.

Okay. Bim’s plan is officially ruined. Great. What now?

He can go home and tell the other egos how he’s an absolute failure and literally cannot do a single thing right.

Or…

Or he could ask you out. His way. On his own, without any help from Bim. He heard you walk around your apartment, talking with Eric.

“So, what did you leave?” You ask. Host feels the dopamine flow through his brain at the sound of your voice. Unknowingly, he smiles.

“I-I-I don’t know. B-But it w-was i-important!” Eric stutters. He’s a really bad actor…

“Okay, it’s okay, we can look,” You respond gently. Host clutches the flowers tightly. You’re so… gentle. You’re so wonderful with Eric, so patient with the kid. You know what he’s been through, and you try to help and understand him. You did the same thing with Host. Maybe that’s why he likes you so much…

“U-Um, I-I think this is it,” Eric says after a few minutes of rustling around.

“Really? I thought this was mine…”

“O-Oh, uh… m-maybe i-it’s n-not--”

“No, no! You have it! Better safe than sorry.”

“O-Okay… um… a-are y-you sure?”

“Yeah, absolutely. I can get another one, it’s fine.”

“A-Alright… thanks!”

“No problem. Bye, Eric! Have a great day! Don’t forget to take your meds!”

“Okay… B-Bye, Y/N!”

Host bites his lip to suppress the happy chuckle that threatens to come out. He thought your interaction was the purest thing in the world. You’re… so… great.

Great? Really? That’s the best word he can come up with? Not “exceptional”, not “tremendous”, “marvelous”, “magnificent”, “stupendous”, “extraordinary”, “outstanding”...

He’s an author, for Chrissakes!

How was it that you took away all of his cognitive ability by just… being you?

Goodness, he had it bad, didn’t he?

Host jumps at the buzzing on his thigh. He takes the phone out of his pocket and answers. He hesitantly brings the phone to his ear. He has a feeling about what’s going to happen.

“Um… Hello?” He whispers.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Yancy yells. Host flinches at the volume.

“I-”

“What the hell happened to the plan? What is your problem?” Illinois interrupts.

“Well-”

“Dude, we were rooting for you!” Bing takes the phone next. Host frowned, starting to get annoyed.

“If-”

“We’re trying to help you,” Dr. Iplier said, calmer than the rest.

“Everything was ready,” King said from somewhere in the background.

“Host,” Bim finally took the phone, “What happened?” Host was silent for a minute. “Host?”

��Oh, is Host allowed to speak now?” He teases. Bim chuckles.

“Yeah, sorry… Just… what happened?” Host sighs.

“Host… realized… he wants to do this… his way. Without help. He doesn’t need it. Y/N will either like him, or they won’t. All this… fancy stuff won’t change that. Host needs to do this on his own,” Host explains. The phone is silent. He’s begun to realize that silence does not equal upset. Bim snorts.

“Well, you could’ve fucking said that before we convinced that young couple that they’re dying,” He laughs. Host flushes and he’s glad no one’s around to see it.

“Host is sorry…”

“Eh, it’s fine. I’m sure if I ask Wilford, we can do all the shit you were supposed to,” Host can hear Bim’s smile when he talks, “Good luck Host.” He hangs up, and Host is left sitting on your back porch.

Ok. New plan.

Host tears the bowtie off and throws it in your trash, along with the flowers. Hopefully, you wouldn’t mind.

He straightened his back and cleared his throat, raising his fist to knock on your door. He paused.

Wait. What if you didn’t like him? What if you were already dating the guy? Did romantic relationships work that way? He wouldn’t know.

He shook his head and knocked three times. He’d deal with that when he got to it.

The door opens to reveal… you. You’re wearing sweatpants and a Pokemon hoodie. You raise an eyebrow at him, a slightly annoyed look on your face.

God, you’re perfect.

“Host? May I help you?” Your face softens when you see who it is. The Host swallows nervously.

“Uh… may the Host come in?” You nod and step back, allowing him to step into your house. His knees would have buckled with the sheer smell of the house if he hadn’t been here before. The whole place smells like you and he nearly collapsed the first time.

“Would you… like a drink?”

“No, thank you.”

“Okay, well…” You both stand across from each other, a few feet apart. “What would you-”

“The Host likes Y/N,” Host blurts out. You blink at him, hand in mid-gesture.

“What?” You ask quietly. The Host takes a shaky breath and grounds himself. He is going to get through this, no matter how embarrassing or traumatizing it may be.

“The Host… I… I like you. I love you. I am… in love… with you…” He says slowly, not fully comprehending what’s coming out of his mouth. “I like you. Say it back, please.”

“Say it back, please”? Really?! Could you sound any more desperate?

He looks up to see your head tilted slightly. Why were you so cute?

“Okay…” You furrow your eyebrows, “Elaborate?” Host takes another breath and swallows. His throat is very dry. Maybe he should’ve said yes to the drink…

“Host… is in love with you. He has been for a while. He’s not sure when it started, but he knows it’s a very strong feeling. He loves to hear Y/N talk and laugh and… walk around and… do anything. And… he thinks they are such a wonderful person and he wants to be the one to make them happy… he wants to be the one they go on dates with and come home to… because… he loves them…” Host holds his breath while he waits for the response. The suspense might actually kill him at this point.

“I… like you,” You finally say. Host knits his eyebrows together.

“What?” He asks.

“You… you said to say it back…” you whisper, “And… if it happens to be true… that’s not my fault…” Hosts eyebrows raise as high as they can go.

“What?” He repeats, barely louder than a whisper. He hears the floor creak as you walk over to him and he breathes heavily in response. What’s happening? What are you doing? What’s going on?

His breath hitches when you take his hand and intertwine your fingers with his.

“I love you too, Host.” You whisper. The Host feels extremely light headed. You love him? You love him? No, no, no… but…

“But… date… with… guy…” Host murmurs. There goes the brain function.

“I went out with him to try and get over you…” you admitted, “I didn’t think you actually liked me…”

“Why… not?”

“I’m not… anything special--”

“Yes! Yes, you are!” He raises his voice, “You are… exceptional! And tremendous! And marvelous, magnificent, stupendous, extraordinary, outstanding… and… so much more!” You stifle a laugh.

“You really think so?”

“Yes!” You chuckle. You shift your hand so that you’re holding his fingers in your hand. You rub your thumb over his knuckles. He begins to shake slightly. Too much. He was going to pass out.

“So… what now?”

“Hm?” Host turns his head from your hand holding his to your face.

“What do we do now?”

“Host is not sure, he didn’t think he would get this far…” You laugh out loud this time and a smile appears on the Host’s face.

“Well… do you want to awkwardly kiss?”

“That… It would be nice…”

You shuffle forward a bit so you’re very close to the Host. He stands completely still, not exactly sure what to do with himself. You lay a gentle hand on his cheek and kiss him. Not deep, not… sensual, just… a small kiss. Host still gets very flushed by it and his cheek is very hot on your hand. You pull back after a few seconds.

“How… was that?” You squeak.

“Good… it was… it was good…” He pants. You both stand there, unmoving. Then, you start to giggle.

“We… are adults… and we’re acting like teenagers…” You laugh. Host smiles.

“That… we are…” Host starts laughing as well. You laugh at each other and how ridiculous you’re being before you remove your hand from the Host’s. He immediately misses the contact. You wrap your arms around him and hold him tightly in a hug. Host hesitantly wrapped his around you. You stood, swaying a bit, feeling very comfortable.

“This is nice,” you sigh.

“It is.”

“What do you wanna do now?”

“Host is… a bit hungry…” You snicker.

“Alright. I’ll make something.” You pull away and Host chases after your warmth. You lead him to the living room and sit him down on the couch. You go to the kitchen, leaving the Host alone with his thoughts.

You… like him. You… love him. How long have you loved him? Why didn’t he know? Is he really just that stupid around you?

He sighs and traces his knuckles with a finger.

He loves you… you love him…

He couldn’t remember the last time he was this happy...

[dragontidess]

Throwback to when I had a dream that I saw Trump at a restaurant and he was loudly making fun of me and my family from the table over