#this was fueled by PURE TRANSGENDERHOMOSEXUALITY PHOLKS

[ratbastarddotfuck]

Falling as a metaphor for transition & letting go of the binary

I saw a post about this crowley & transness today (I think by @crowleysbarmitzvah ?*) who was relating it to his experience as a trans man, which I do relate to somewhat (I'm a genderfluid trans man), but I'm currently having an experience which is widening this particular metaphor for me.

I'm watching a chronological compilation of all of Aziraphale and Crowley's meetings from both seasons of the show. So we have them meeting in heaven, pre-fall, and them meeting again on the wall.

When they meet in heaven, Aziraphale introduces himself, and gives Crowley a clear chance to introduce himself. He doesn't. We don't know his deadname! The show is super intentional about this; it's hard to tell if Crowley is avoiding the question or not. Did Aziraphale find out who he was?

When they meet again on the walls, there is a very distinct moment where Aziraphale hesitates and gives Crowley a space to introduce himself. Is he doing this because, as we'd previously assumed, he doesn't know his name? Or because it's expected for a demon to have a new name? Much like your cis friend might clumsily ask you to reintroduce yourself, is Aziraphale asking Crowley?

He introduces himself as Crawly. This invokes grime, bugs, it's very Hell - the inverse of nice, spotless Heaven. He's rebelling hard against that which abandoned him. He's leaning hard into the binary opposition of heaven.

But then, he spends a few hundred years on earth, and - it's Crowley. He's let go of any desire to fit in with hell. He goes along with what's least likely to make him miserable, and that often means being around aziraphale, which means he also gets to recreationally lie to hell about what he's been up to,

And I know at this point it's like - well, yeah. All of good omens and crowley especially is about "black and white thinking sucks and makes you stupid and miserable". So you can apply the story as a metaphor to a lot of types of binaries, really. But whatever.

My POINT IS!

He changed his name again after spending more time sitting with his situation, bc he realised that the old one didn't really represent him that well.

It's like if [redacted] transitions into Roger then decides they're more of a River.

Extremely transgender behaviour. All im saying

*I'm on mobile & can't double check, I will edit this if I'm wrong lol

Ooooouuuughh im having crowley gender thoughts again