#this was becoming way too long so i had to cut it

[heavyhitterheaux]

Wifey Shiesty (Slight NSFW)

See Me Through You Series

Synopsis: After giving her husband a much needed pep talk, we get Wifey's version of mic'd up during the Bengals vs. Broncos game

Pairing: Husband!Joe Burrow x Wife!Reader

Requested by: @mirrorballgirlie25 and an anon 💕

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The level of excitement that you had when you woke up around eleven in the morning was unmatched as you sat up against the headboard for confirmation.

One of the few days that you didn't have any morning sickness.

It was evident that Joe was already awake seeing as he wasn't lying next to you and could faintly hear the shower running in the bathroom signaling that he was getting ready to head to Paycor to take on the Denver Broncos.

There was a lot riding on this game, but you had done your usual routine with making his favorite foods and giving him pep talks. Joe's bag that he would be carrying when he left was sitting on the bed and you quickly pulled out your stationary set and wrote a small note to stick in there.

You got this, Shiesty.

I love you,

Wifey

You did this before every game whether it was at home or away and Joe kept every single one and had it organized by season.

You would usually also get up early and go into the bathroom and also write notes for him on the mirror so that way he would also wake up and see them.

When you were finished, you closed his bag and was caught off guard by arms wrapping around you and a kiss being placed on your cheek.

“Good morning Mr. Shiesty.” You told him as you turned around to properly hug him.

“Good morning baby girl. No morning sickness? Did my baby actually get to sleep? I didn't hear you get up at all.”

“I actually slept for once so hopefully I'll have energy for the game.” You replied as he then leaned down to kiss you.

Joe let out a deep sigh and you immediately knew what to do.

“Okay, baby. We got this. I know how important this game is and that we want to make the playoffs, but just get through each quarter and take your time. Either way it goes today, I am so fucking proud of you. This has truly been your best season and you keep silencing the people who hate on you every single time. Like breaking records and breaking some of your own too? You were drafted number one for a reason. Now go out there today and show them why. I love you and as promised I will be in your suite cheering you on.”

The smile that broke out on Joe’s face was huge as he leaned down to kiss you once more in response.

“I just… it’s so much pressure on my shoulders. But at the same time it is what it is.”

“Baby, you’re the quarterback if you didn’t realize it until just now.” You joked with him and he let out a small laugh.

“I hadn’t noticed and I love you too. Thank you for the pep talks that you always give me. It may not seem like a big deal, but it is.”

“Of course, my love. Always going to be in your corner rooting for you.”

“And the same goes for you, it’s just in a different way now.” Joe replied as he glanced down at your leg and saw the surgical scars staring back at him as he lightly ran his fingers over them.

He couldn't think about it for too long since it would make him upset, but every day, he woke up grateful that you were still here able to do life with him. He couldn't have imagined what happened if you weren't. Becoming a widow a few months after you get married was something that was constantly running through his thoughts when you had gotten hurt.

The pain was still evident even if you didn't talk about it much, not wanting to make your husband worry. He did enough of that when he thought he would be planning your funeral.

Being pregnant, the only thing that you were able to take for pain was tylenol and some days that just wasn’t cutting it. But the last thing you were about to do was risk the health of your twins.

“Is it bothering you today?”

“So far, so good.”

“Just remember to bring some medicine with you. Don't want you sitting there in pain.”

“I'll put some in my bag, promise.”

“Good, pack some heat packs too just in case.”

“Oh, and I have a little surprise. Ja’Marr actually came up with it so you can thank him for it.”

“And what’s that?” Joe asked as he was starting to get dressed.

“I’m going to be mic’d up during the game for me and Taylor’s podcast so do your best to not give your wife a panic attack or send her into labor because it is way too early.”

Joe threw his head back in laughter because he knew how you would get during the games.

“I’ll try my best, but no promises. I can’t wait to watch it later.”

“But for now, I'll go make you some food while you get ready.”

“No need, baby. I got up early and ate.” Joe told you and in response you made a face at him.

“Baby doll, your morning sickness has been horrible lately. I wanted you to sleep. I have the ability to make myself something to eat and not burn down the kitchen in the process. Give me credit where credit is due.”

“But I ALWAYS make you food on game days when you play at home and sometimes you have dessert and eat me out before you leave. It's our thing!”

“I know, but you can make us something later when we win and I can eat you out later. That can definitely be arranged.”

“Fine, I'm holding you to that.”

“Good, now give me kisses.” Joe told you as he was now sitting down on the bed and pulled you onto his lap.

You gave him a few kisses before kissing the side of his mouth and laying your head on his shoulder.

“You're lucky you just took a shower and need to get ready because I want to bite you so bad right now.”

“AHT AHT! Baby do not start, as much as I want to, I can't rearrange your guts all day.”

“But you can do it all night.” You replied while smirking as you picked your head up to look at him.

“See? This is why you're pregnant now.”

“Don't blame it on me, you had something to do with it too.” You scolded him as he kissed the tip of your nose.

Suddenly Joe’s phone went off and he turned around to grab it and saw it was Ja'Marr calling and quickly answered.

“Stop swapping spit with my sister and let's go.”

“Damn, good morning to you too uno.” Joe replied as he rolled his eyes.

“And how do you even know what I was doing?” Joe asked and even though he couldn't see him, he knew that he was rolling his eyes.

“Joe, don't piss me off before we even get in the locker room on this nice Saturday. Yall can’t keep your hands to yourself for thirty seconds. I'll be at your front door in 15 minutes. Bye.”

After Joe hung up all he did was toss his phone to the side before kissing you once more.

“See you at 4:30?”

“See you at 4:30.”

—

Arriving at Paycor, security quickly escorted you as well as Erin to Joe's suite where you would meet up with Jim and Robin. Robin had already sent a text letting you know that they had just gotten there and the only thing on your mind was food and watching Joe and your baby brother play.

The entire episode of you being mic'd up would be recorded on your phone and you would upload it after the game was over whether the Bengals walked away with a win or not.

Once you had gotten settled and got everything set up how you wanted it, you set your phone to record.

“Hello my Woman Cave listeners. Wifey Shiesty here and you’re in for a little treat today. As you can see, I'm in my husband's suite at the game with my in-laws, and my best friend Erin and you guys are getting my version of mic'd up! I did tell Joe prior to him leaving the house this morning and I told him to do his best not to give me a panic attack, so let's see how this goes.”

First quarter

“Okay, yall have to do better than this if we want a playoff spot. Because what are we even doing right now?”

–

“Did you really just get sacked twice in a row?! O-line protect my husband, please! It is LITERALLY YOUR JOB.”

–

“Uh oh baby brother is making faces. He's getting annoyed. I am too Bam Bam, I am too.”

–

“WHAT!? The first quarter can't be over already. We have literally done nothing.”

–

Second quarter

“Baby! What are….? I gave you a pep talk this morning and this is NOT how this was supposed to go.”

–

“The babies are hungry again. Erin, can you get me more mozzarella sticks? Cheese has been my main food group since I got pregnant.”

–

“AHHH TOUCHDOWN! YEAH TEE! I guess he didn't want his mom cussing him out again. She really let him have it.”

–

“Okay, we got something going, feeling a little better. Oh, are those buffalo wings? I needed those like 6 hours ago. I don't care about the heartburn that I'm about to have after. The babies are getting some spice today. I have tums in my purse.”

–

Third quarter

“And, we're back. The babies were playing kickball with my bladder. I'm definitely going to drink this lemonade though.”

–

“Ehh, okay we're kicking. Fine, that'll get us ten.”

–

“NO! HE CAUGHT IT! NOW IT'S TIED.”

–

“Okay, we still have time. We got this. Can I have a milkshake delivered to the stadium? I want one. Never mind. Joe will get me one on the way home.”

–

“Erin, did you see Joe’s and Ja'marr's outfits today? Like WHO ARE THESE DIVAS? But I picked out Joey's last night. I wanted to bite him before he left, but he told me no.”

–

Fourth quarter

“Tee again with the touchdown!”

–

“Damn it! It's tied again. I literally told Joe NOT to give me a panic attack or make my water break and it's clear and evident that he in fact did not listen.”

–

“Oh! Is he in!? IS HE IN!? My husband is the shit yall. Get it baby! TOUCHDOWN!”

–

“Wait a minute… is he…? Is he doing the griddy? See that's the black wife effect for you. And of course Ja'Marr co-signed it. He got more rhythm when he married me.”

–

“Okay, clock is winding down. We can do this. Not that much longer to go.”

–

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!? Oops, babies don't repeat that. It's tied again!”

–

“Overtime it is. I need to pee again and I'm hungry. These children need to chill out with the food requests.”

–

Overtime

“Okay dad got me nachos. I'm okay now, we're back in business. Shoutout to Paycor. Yall have the good cheese.”

–

“I can't watch anymore and need to close my eyes.”

–

“Well that lasted for a total of thirty seconds.”

–

“OH! OKAY HE’S AT THE TWO! TEE'S AT THE TWO! Yall better not fuck this up.”

–

“HE GOT IT!”

–

“I'm happy we won, but I need to sit here for a minute before I go to the tunnel. Bottom line is put some respect on my husband's name. As of now he is literally the only person in the history of the NFL to have 250 pass yards but 3 pass touchdowns in 8 straight games. So unless you can do that, don't talk to me. And, I rest my case. Now it's time for my milkshake and to hug my husband and baby brother.”

When Joe spotted you in the tunnel, he was all smiles and quickly made his way over to you as he leaned down to kiss you.

“Proud of you, babe.” You told him as you reached up to pinch his cheek.

“Your pep talk definitely helped this morning. Just took us a minute to find our rhythm.” Joe replied as he started to play with the ends of your hair, something that he did more often than not.

“Speaking of rhythm, that griddy was too clean. You should have heard me and Erin yelling.” You told him and he couldn't help but to laugh.

“It's the black wife effect. Can't be around you and your family all the time and walk away with nothing.” He casually said as he shrugged and you busted out laughing.

“And just wait until you hear my mic'd up episode.”

“Please tell me you're kept it somewhat appropriate. I never know with you.”

“Well, babe, I didn't say anything about me turning you every way but loose once we leave here if that's what you mean.” You sweetly said while batting your eyelashes at him.

“I… I guess I'll take it then.”

“BIG SIS!” You heard Ja'Marr yell and quickly yelled back at him as he was running towards you.

“LIL BRO!”

Ja'Marr promptly picked you up and hugged you before setting your back down on your feet.

“You see your husband's griddy?” He asked and Joe simply smirked at the both of you.

“He just told me that it's the black wife effect.”

“I have to agree, this man has a grill now, seasons his food, still holding onto the pumpkin pie, but I'll let it slide today. Maybe one day he'll accept that it honestly tastes like sweet potato pie with low self-esteem.” He replied and you couldn't help but laugh.

“Bye Ja'Marr!”

“What!? Did I lie!?”

“No, but I need a milkshake babe. Go do your presser so I can get one on the way home.”

“I need another kiss before I do.” He told you as Ja'Marr made a gagging noise.

“Yall make me sick.”

“Then look away.” Joe told him as he leaned down to kiss you.

“You would think that it's been forty days and forty nights since the two of you saw each other last.”

“And we're ignoring you.”

–

“Fuck! That's it, pretty girl.” Joe whispered in your ear as he had wrapped his arms around you as you continued to ride him.

The ride home honestly felt like torture with you both trying to keep your hands off one another and forget the bedroom. The two of you barely made it through the front door as clothes were thrown off and left in a pile as you were now on the couch riding him.

The two of you learned pretty quickly that ever since you had gotten pregnant and you were now obviously showing since there wasn't just one in there, but two, the most comfortable positions for you were either riding him or laying down on your side and Joe was not complaining in the slightest.

However Joe was then abruptly confused when you had suddenly stopped and proceeded to swing your legs off of him and his protests were quickly heard.

“Babe, I was close. What the hell?” He asked as you had now spread his legs to make room and got down on your knees in front of him.

“Then how about you shut up and stop complaining? I got down here so you could face fuck me, but I will gladly get back up.”

“You're going to regret getting smart with me before the night is over.”

“Mm hmm, sure Burrow.” You responded as you rolled your eyes. You had done that on purpose because the adrenaline from winning the game mixed with him getting annoyed by your smart mouth would lead to him not showing you any mercy and that was exactly what you wanted.

Doing as he was told, Joe moved closer to the end of the couch as you took him in your mouth. Your hair kept ending up getting in the way, and he decided to help you as he put it into a makeshift ponytail which also led to him being able to have a better hold on you as he sped up his pace of him moving in and out of your mouth.

“You're doing such a good job, princess.”

A mix of sweat, tears, and drool was running down your face as he kept hitting the back of your throat. Your jaw was definitely sore, but you weren't quitting any time soon and was determined to see it all the way through until Joe got his release.

Being able to finally come up for air, Joe moved your head all the way back making you lose contact with him when he leaned forward to kiss you before sliding back into your mouth.

“Come on, baby. You gonna make me cum?” Joe asked as he finally released his hold on you.

Once he did, between the use of your mouth along with your hand it was only a matter of time.

You felt the first drop hit the back of your throat and was soon followed by a string of curse words from his mouth as you were trying to swallow the full load.

“You better swallow it. The entire thing.” He told you as he lightly tapped your cheek. It took you a minute but once you did, you also ran your finger along your cheek and chin to get what had dribbled out and sucked on your fingers.

“Good girl.”

Joe then picked you back up to sit in his lap and kissed you before turning to the side and laying down while taking you by your hips to move you up so you would be right above his face.

“I promised to eat you out, didn't I?” Joe asked you as he kissed all along your thighs.

“Yes.”

“Now stay still.”

--

Liked by joeyb_9, thewomancave, taylorrooks, lahjay10_, cincinattibengals, and 867,254 others

wifeyshiesty: the black wife effect lol now put some respect on my baby's name! so proud of you pookie!

My mic'd up episode will be released at midnight!

lahjay10_: I taught him that at the cookout. they grow up so fast. taylorrooks: I can't wait to hear the episode and talk about it! erinthegymnast: when he hit that griddy, me and wifey screamed so loud we're surprised they didn't hear us out on the field joeybfanatic: OMG not wifey being mic'd up lmao I absolutely love her on the woman cave so I'm excited for the unhinged shit that I know she's about to say joeyb_9: she's been unhinged since I met her, but I wouldn't have it any other way lahjay10_: joeyb_9 bruh I warned your ass and you still married her wifeyshiesty: lahjay10_ I know where you live (3 houses down) so get yourself together before I bust through your front door lahjay10_: wifeyshiesty if you can reach the handle to get in joeyb_9: pause, let me grab a snack to watch this go down joeburrowupdates: lmaooo not joe wanting his wife to beat her little brother's ass lahjay10_: she's all talk, she won't do anything joeyb_9: uh ja'marr she just put on her slides and grabbed her keys, I would make a run for it if I were you 👀

[twooftheluckyones]

Fountain Splashies

Narinder sat quietly in his office, feeling the warmth of the setting summer sun on his back as he wrote. Report after report, edict after edict. Many followers did not know it, but he wrote his own speeches and sermons. Una may have preferred to improvise, but the god of death always went in with a plan. A sudden crash sounded to his side, and the cat's knees slammed into the desk as he jumped in fright, tail fluffed and claws unsheathed. His crown looked at him expectantly, silently asking if he desired a weapon. But the noise did not come from some intruding assassin or dissident. Narinder groaned and rose to his feet, rubbing his eyes wearily. "Dolly!" He snapped, looming over the small lambcat hybrid. Her single open eye looked up at him blankly, clutching a broken bauble in her hands. Narinder idly recalled it as some meaningless trinket gifted by a groveling merchant, but that wasn't the reason he now simmered with irritation. The child had been a constant disruption to his evening ever since Una dropped her off at lunch, frantically bleating about how she needed to make a quick hike into Anchordeep. Narinder was more than happy to tend to his daughter, dropping her off with Baal to doodle, but as the evening wore on and his disciple went home, the child had become... restless. Perhaps being part cat was to blame. Nobody had ever recorded the mingling of two gods and thus their offspring. It had been strange enough for his old family to unite against other gods, but to get married and have a child was unheard of. The little godling had been bizarre in many ways, from her mixed features and fledgling powers. Normally a mortal was well into adulthood before they could even begin to study blessings and curses, yet Dolly cast small divinities seemingly on accident. Which was probably how she had managed to climb to the top shelf of Narinder's trophy case, where he'd hidden the shiny little bauble, now broken on the floor. With a grumbling sigh he leaned down, taking the shattered crystal from her hands before the little godling somehow cut herself. Thankfully she did not protest, and as Narinder tossed the rubbish into the trash, he felt his irritation flare. His jaw set, brow furrowing as he loomed over the little sheepcat and prepared to unveil a godly reprimand. Dolly looked up at him with a guilty wide eye, frowning pitifully. "Sohwy daddy," she mumbled, fidgeting with the hem of her fleece. Narinder set his jaw, feeling the storm brew in his mind as words and anger thrashed on his tongue. A thousand years ago, an interruption to his work would elicit punishment beyond measure.

But that was not him. Not anymore. So instead Narinder sighed, doing his best to relax his shoulders and stifle the swishing of his tail, and leaned down to pull Dolly into a gentle hug.

"It's ok, my little cottonball," he murmured softly. "Mistakes happen. Things break. Please just be careful next time. I do not want you to cut yourself on something sharp." The little godling wrapped her tiny arms around the cat, clenching to him tight. With a soft grunt, Narinder lifted her up and held her in his arms, stroking her wool to calm both of them down.

The day had gone on far too long.

"Let me propose something to you," he said, looking down at Dolly's curious face. "Would you care to go play in the fountain? We can get a honeybun from auntie Heket after." The little godling's eye widened in shock.

"Kwaynke says its agwainst the rhules to pway in da fwountain..."

"Nonsense. I decide what the rules are, and today I say you're getting dunked. Let's get going!"

And thus with a whirlwind of discarded paperwork, the two gods made their giggle filled escape.

[yamumsyadadd]

We meet again

a/n: talks of homophobia, ignore this if that isn’t your thing.

happy New Year’s Eve, it’s 9pm where I live so this will be my last fic of 2024 ;) stay safe, have fun!

It was a warm evening in Barcelona when I saw you again. I still loved you, not that you ever really knew, or maybe you did. 

You were sitting there in the restaurant with your friends. I was there too, waiting for a guy I barely knew but was giving a chance because my father had begged me to. 

It was the same routine. Giving them a ‘chance’ knowing I’d stopped talking to them. I started to realise that I was waiting for you. A forbidden love. 

You hadn’t noticed me yet, I of course noticed you, I always did. My date arrived and we sat down. He was different to you, they all were. Blonde, clean cut, men. I tried not to glance over at you. 

I engaged in conversation, I smiled, I laughed. I did everything you’re supposed to do on a date. But I couldn’t help stealing glancing at you. 

You got up to use the bathroom and as you walked by my table, that’s when you finally saw me. You stopped dead in your tracks, then slowly made your way to me. 

“Hey I’m sorry for interrupting, I didn’t see you walk in. How are you?” You asked, eyes genuine, truly curious. 

“Oh I’m good. I didn’t see you either!” I laughed even though it was a lie, somehow I find you in every room, every stadium. 

You look at my date and introduce yourself, you never need an introduction, everyone knows who you are but you do it anyway. “I was just heading to the restroom but let’s catch up soon.” You smiled, the kind of smile that isn’t real, just polite. 

“Yeah let’s.” You walk away, and I allow myself to breathe again. I smile at my date and we continue on. I keep thinking about you, I must be a horrible person. A good looking, well educated man sitting in front of me and all I can think about is you, you with the tattoos, the long black hair and cocky smile. The fingers that can make me forget my name. 

When you get back to your seat, we make eye contact, you smile then turn back to your friends. I recognise them all, how could I not. Alexia sits with Olga, Irene with Lucia, Patri and Claudia huddled together listening to whatever drama Maria and Leila have to share. 

There’s this weird thing about loving someone who you never got to love openly. A frightening feeling that your feelings won’t be shared. And a harbouring desire to scream them at you. 

It becomes suffocating knowing it is everything you want but wanting to protect your heart because you’re tired of people not feeling them same or being ashamed. Jenni loved the same way you did, loud, unapologetic and all consuming. No man your father picks could do that. Because no man was Jenni. 

Because of that, it becomes easier to stay quiet. To love from afar, scrolling through her instagram late at night, the shared photos, the messages. To love from a distance is to play it safe. 

My date eventually comes to an end. We get up and walk out, you’re still there laughing loudly. I look back at you one more time and then leave with him. 

I say goodbye to my date, thank him for dinner. He’s a nice guy, and will make a girl happy but he isn’t you. No one is. I don’t know what I’m waiting for, I guess I’m always waiting for you, I shouldn’t though because you won’t come. You never do. 

As I continue my walk home, my phone chimes with a message. I pulled it out, expecting it to be from one of the girls asking about the date, but it’s from you. You texted me a simple ‘get home safe.’ 

I smile, eyes skimming past our last exchange. I text back a simple ‘I will thank you.’ I watch as you start to type more, then it disappears. I convince myself it’s nothing and continue on home and I think about you. I wonder if you think about me too. 

—————————————————————————

It was a tumultuous relationship. Plagued by fighting and jealousy. You were young, only 20 when you met her at some gala your parents were throwing. She was older, closer to 30 than you were to your teenage years. 

You’d seen her before, at one of the many parties your parents had through. She always excluded the same energy, she knew she was hot, and that made her cocky. Always with the same group of people, who you’d come to learn was the football team your parents loved. 

It was the third party they attended that you finally met. You were forced into conversation at the bar, you knew from that first interaction that you were doomed. 

Being gay wasn’t something that was spoken about within your family, they all knew but chose to ignore it. The phrase ‘you just haven’t met the right man’ was burned into your brain. Maybe you hadn’t, but you didn’t want to wait and find out. 

After the last party of the year, that happened to be the Christmas party, you left with her. the way her hand felt on your lower back, the grip her fingers had on your exposed skin, the way she made you chant her name like she was a god. It was addicting. 

Your friends hated her. While she was never outwardly rude to them, you’d always run to them after a fight. Telling them everything she said, leaving out how you were just as bad. But that’s what friends were for, right? 

Most of her friends discouraged the relationship, Jenni loved loudly and unapologetically, you did not. It was two different words, she was a star footballer, older and wiser. You were just some rich kid who had barely started their adult life. 

After a toxic and bitter end to the 18 month relationship, she left for Mexico. Not even bothering to say goodbye. Your heart shattered into pieces. The final words she spoke to you playing over in your mind for months. 

“I’m done loving someone who won’t love me back.” It’s not that you didn’t love her, the opposite in fact, it was that you never said it. She said it within the first few months, and every time it filled you with a sense of dread. 

How would you explain it to your family? The consequences of your love would outweigh anything else, so you kept quiet. 

The multiple parties a year continued on, the Barcelona players continued to come and you’d do everything in your power to steer clear of them. Occasionally it wouldn’t work and you’d be stuck with some of them for a photo or whatever. Alexia and Irene watched you sympathetically, you hated it. 

————————————————————————

Jenni’s pov 

The air in the restaurant was charged. Like two magnets trying to join each other but I couldn’t figure why, until I saw you. 

At first I didn’t think it was you. It had been two years since I last saw you. You were older now, more elegant, still as beautiful as ever maybe even more. But then I realised you were with someone. 

A man, who was the complete opposite of me. He was blonde, no doubt rich, clean cut and probably reached of over priced cologne.

I realised, half way to the bathroom that I’d have to walk past you to get there and took a chance. 

“Hey, I’m sorry for interrupting, I didn’t see you walk in. How are you?” I asked. 

“Oh I’m good! I didn’t see you either.” You laughed and looked down. You were lying. Anytime you lied, you would look down and fidget. It was your tell. 

I introduced myself to your date, wanting nothing more than to be polite but I couldn’t help but feel jealous. For the entire 18 months of our relationship, this is what I wanted. To take you out on dates in the fancy clothes and enjoy the overpriced wine. But he got to instead. 

“I’m just heading to the restroom but let’s catch up soon.” I said, giving a small smile. 

“Yeah let’s.” I turned around and continued on to the bathroom. Gripping the sink tightly to calm myself down. It was ridiculous that after all this time, after all the girls, I still wanted you. I still loved you. 

When I returned to the table, I couldn’t help but look over at you and to my surprise you looked back at me. As I turned back to the girls, all I could think about was you. How it would feel to love you loudly like you deserved, to show you off to everyone. It wouldn’t happen though, it couldn’t. 

Most nights, from the comfort of my apartment in Mexico, I’d scroll through your burner instagram account. The one you parents didn’t know you had, it only had a select few on it and I’d like to think you kept me there for a reason, but it was likely you just forgot. 

I watched you leave with him, his hand sprawled across the small of your back like mine used too. You looked back a final time and then you were gone. Out of sight, but not out of mind. 

I took a few minutes before pulling out my phone, rereading the last few messages we had sent each other before sending a simple ‘get home safe.’ You replied quickly, you always did. I wanted to say more, tell you everything that had happened in the last 2 years, how much I still loved you, how no one was you, but I couldn’t. 

When Leila made a joke about me texting a girl, I shook my head and put my phone away. Alexia must’ve seen, giving my shoulder a squeeze and a sad smile. 

You were the one that got away. Maybe it’s better to love you from afar, I wish you nothing but happiness, even if that means finding happiness from someone else. 

—————————————————————————

The first party of the summer had arrived. As always it was a full on affair. Your parent’s house was decked out, over the top in your opinion. The older you got, the more insufferable these parties became. 

Other businessmen bought their wives and children, both the men’s and women’s team were there, celebrating the end of the season and their spectacle winning run. 

Tuxedos and ball gowns littered the main floor and the garden but you were stuck upstairs. A heavy weight weighing on your heart. You knew, the minute you went downstairs your father would try and introduce you to a man, your mother would be making comments about your appearance and your aunts would join in. 

The sound of knuckles on the door pulled you out of your thoughts. A few seconds later she was there, leaning on the doorway. Her usual cockiness was gone and replaced with what seemed to be anxiety. 

“Thought I’d find you here.” 

“What are you doing here? I thought you’d be in Mexico already?” 

“And miss this? Absolutely not.” She studied you with ease, reading you like a book, “your father is waiting for you. He has some guy he wants to introduce you too.” 

“Of course he does.” You stood up, smoothing down your dress. 

“Why don’t they stick?” Perhaps it was a thought she meant to keep in her head or she was actually curious. 

“What?” 

“The guys your father introduces you too? Why don’t they stick? You’re smart, elegant, attractive, so why don’t they stick?” 

“I don’t know.” You looked down towards the floor again. You knew, she knew, but she wanted you to say it. 

“You’re lying. Why don’t they stick?” She cocked an eyebrow, waiting for your reply. 

“Because none of them are you.” 

It was her turn to ask, and with bated breath she did, “what?” 

“None of them are you Jenni! You think I didn’t love you but I did! I do! My father can set me up with a hundred men but that’s a hundred people that aren’t you. So that’s why they don’t stick, because they aren’t you.” 

Her long legs crossed the room in what seemed to be milliseconds. Her lips smashed onto yours, hands holding your face tightly. It took a moment to register what was happening but when it did you couldn’t help up pull her closer. 

It could’ve been seconds or minutes that you were stuck in this battle of tongues and teeth but when the door opened you shoved her away from you, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. 

Your aunt Elsa was standing there, out of all the people she was the best one to catch you. Her own family, your father, considered her the black sheep of them family. Never fitting into the mould, wild and free. Loving whoever she wanted, loudly and unapologetically. It’s what you admire the most about her. 

“Your father is about to come up here and get you. You have two options.” You stared at her, confused, “option 1, you leave this room, separately and go enjoy the party. Option 2, you leave this room together, your father would be mad, your mother disappointed, the countless men waiting to meet you too. If you chose option 2, I have a friend in Mexico who can give you a place to stay, because you’ll need it. The fall out from this won’t be good. If you chose option 1, then we can walk out together, I won’t say anything ever and we’ll just pretend.” 

“I don’t want anyone else.” You blurted out, “I’ll have nothing. If I leave I have nothing.” 

“You’ll have me.” Jenni spoke up, “I can support us both, you can live with me.” 

“What if this doesn’t work out? What if it’s too good to be true?” 

“You won’t know unless you don’t try calabaza. If it truly doesn’t work out, then I’m still here. Being the black sheep.” Your aunt winked at you. “Take care of her Jennifer. I have a lot of money and can find you very quickly.” With that she left, you could hear her in the hallway, ushering your father back downstairs. 

“I’m scared.” It came out as a whisper. 

“I know. I am too. But we can do it together. If you don’t want to come to Mexico, you can stay at my apartment in Madrid or we can figure something out. Please just give us a shot. A proper shot.” It wasn’t often that Jenni begged for anything, usually she’d flash her charismatic smile and people would do as she asked. 

“Okay.” 

You left the room, together, hand in hand ready to face whatever was going to happen. The unknown is terrifying. You didn’t know how it would work with Jenni, what the future held, but she was there in your ear calming you down. 

When your father pulled you away she followed, when he exploded saying the relationship wasn’t right, she was there. She stood up for you against your parents, that’s when you realised you shouldn’t have waited so long. 

At the end of the day, all you needed was Jenni. It didn’t matter that your parents barely spoke to you, or that you were outcasted from your family. What mattered was right in front of you. 

[nayedoll]

Hold me down

joost klein x fem!reader

rpf below, don’t read if you’re uncomfortable

description: following a christmas party at his house, joost and reader meet again after months of no contact, despite their failed attempts to overcome a complicated relationship.

warnings: 18+, nsfw, angst/smut, rpf

a/n: sort of based on the song ‘hold me down’ by daniel caesar, i #love this song so much ⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

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Your trembling hands rush to light the cigarette between your glossed lips, eager to feel the rush of the nicotine fill your lungs, to try and ease the gnawing anxiety in you. You inhale slowly, watching as the smoke drifts upward, becoming one with the snow that blankets the empty Amsterdam streets.

You hear laughter from inside the apartment, unmistakably your friends’ voices breaking the silence of the night; it’s a cheerful sound, but right now it only makes you feel like you want to leave, if you didn’t already.

You scold yourself for coming here, for thinking things would be different. Joost hadn’t reached out since your last argument, and you had moved on, or at least you thought you had. Realizing all these months of self-love, of pretending to heal, were nothing but a waste of time, a distraction before you once again found your way back to him; it makes you angry with yourself. Why is it so hard to get over someone you didn’t even date?

Things with Joost had been complicated since the beginning; neither of you ever quite knew what you wanted —or maybe you did and refused to see it— but you just couldn’t seem to let go, somehow always ending up in each other’s arms. Even after all the harsh words you’d exchanged, all the fights, all the jealous outbursts, all the blaming— it was hard to leave, for the both of you, because underneath everything, there was love; it had never been acknowledged, never been voiced, but you knew it was there, at least on your side.

But even with all the highs, you couldn’t ignore the lows. Sometime early in the year, after your last fight, you’d decided that you wouldn’t go back, that you needed time to yourself, seeing how toxic you were for each other. So you cut him off, avoiding him as much as possible, afraid that sooner or later, he’d pull you back to him, back to your old destructive ways.

And in the beginning, you were hopeful, that finally you’d manage to erase Joost from your life, forget about him and move on. But, of course, such strong feelings don’t go away that easily. And so, when your friends had told you about this gathering Joost was hosting, insisting that you should come along for once, you really couldn’t say no.

So here you were, having drunk too much for your own comfort, hiding away in the balcony, feeling a mixture of emotions.

You take another long drag of your cigarette, focusing your drunken gaze to the snowflakes falling down the sky. Your fingers, numb from the cold, press on your phone screen that lights up immediately. The time reads 2:03 A.M, and you almost gasp, realizing how badly you’ve lost track of time.

You throw your cigarette to the floor, pressing your shoe on it, before rushing inside.

Just as you’re at the door, someone else opens it first— Joost, of course. You slightly take a step back, half-lidded eyes shifting to look up at him.

“Oh,” Joost says, obviously not expecting to see you here, “Hey,”

“Hi,” You say back, your voice small.

“I thought you’d already left,”

“No- no, I was just smoking,” You explain as Joost takes a step closer, shutting the door behind him.

“Since when do you smoke so often?” He smiles, crossing his arms.

You let out a dry chuckle, “Since today, I guess,” Thinking about how many smoke breaks you’d taken, just to avoid being in the same room with Joost.

You stare at him wordlessly, not really knowing what to say. The way he eyes you, makes you become increasingly aware of yourself and the amount of alcohol in your system, your head spinning uncontrollably.

“Uh- Anyways, I should probably go.” You try to walk past him, but he stops you, getting in the way of the door.

“Wait,” He says softly, “How are you getting home?”

You glance up at him, confused. “I have a car,”

“You’re kidding right? Y/n, you reek of vodka,” Joost says firmly, taking a stern expression.

“I’ll be fine,” You sigh, hardly convincing yourself.

“No you won’t,”

“Yes, I will,” Once again, you attempt to leave but Joost puts his hand on your shoulder, making you look back at him.

“Y/n c’mon, don’t be like that,” He sounds more concerned than angry, like he truly cares for you and it catches you off guard. “I’m not letting you drive in the snow, while you’re drunk,”

“Well, what do you want me to do?” You ask in frustration.

He stays quiet for a moment, and it looks like he’s thinking about something. “Stay the night,”

You shake your head, hearing exactly what you feared he’d say. “Joost, I don’t think that’s a good id-,

“Please,” Joost cuts you off, his brows softening, “It just wouldn’t be right for me to leave you like this,”

You can’t help the smile that forms on your lips, seeing him be so caring, for what feels like the first time in forever. You look behind you, towards the snow-covered streets, realizing that driving in this state is a no-go.

“Fine,” You reply, your voice barely above a whisper.

You follow him inside to the living room; your friends are long gone by this hour, only having left behind a pile of empty beer cans.

“I can just sleep here,” You tell Joost, not wanting to burden him any further.

“No, it’s fine. You can sleep in my room,” Joost says, already making his way inside.

You stay still thinking about it for a second; not like you haven’t been in there before, you tell yourself.

The floor creaks as you walk inside the room, and you immediately get hit with all the memories in here— all the late nights, the kissing, the laughing, as well as the fighting, the yelling, the crying. It’s bittersweet, looking back on it now.

You sit down on the bed, lazily made as always, as Joost hands you a blanket.

“Thanks,” You smile at him, “And sorry for burdening you,”

Joost’s brows knit together, as if he can’t understand what you’re saying. “Don’t say that. You’re never a burden,” He sits down on the bed beside you, lightly placing his hand on your thigh; it’s more of a reassuring gesture than it is sexual, but you still feel something jolt in you.

You purse your lips, a weird feeling coming through you; you wish he’d said that more during your relationship—if you can even call it that— when you needed to hear it, when you felt insecure, unable to fully trust him.

You look away, suddenly not sure what to do with the space between you. “I didn’t ask you earlier,” You start speaking, not really sure if you should, just longing for him to stay a little longer. “How have you been?”

“Good, I guess,” His voice is charged with uncertainty, like there’s more he wishes he could say— because really, Joost loves you, maybe even more than you love him. And yet, he’s never told you, he’s never dared to acknowledge it.

And maybe that was the problem. He didn’t mean to hurt you; he just didn’t know how to be better. He wishes he could be the kind of guy to offer you the things you deserve—stability, trust, a healthy fucking relationship—but then doubts creep in; his past, his fears, the pieces of himself he’s never quite put together, always seem to get in the way.

“And you?” He asks.

“Good,” You look away, your fingers fidgeting with the fabric of your shirt. “Just… different,”

Joost’s lips form into a tight line, as he nods understandingly. “Yeah,”

“By the way,” He adds, causing you to glance at him again. “I’m sorry for how we ended things and all… I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that,”

You almost wince at the remembrance of that night, your last fight. “It’s fine. I’m sure I’ve said worse,”

You both laugh, trying to make light of the situation; it helps to soothe the tension, as you stare him, his smile with the dimples you love so much. The silence lingers, heavy with unspoken feelings.

You don’t know who moves first, but suddenly, you’re leaning in. Your lips meet his in a soft touch, kissing him slowly at first, as if to test the waters.

You pull away briefly, looking at him wordlessly, searching for a reaction.

Instead of speaking, Joost pulls you in again, this time kissing you harder, as his hand gently holds your cheek. It’s desperate and tender all at once, a mixture of regret, longing, and something deeper, something that never quite left, even in the worst moments.

Your body moves forward, overtaken by desire, as Joost’s hands on your waist guide you to sit on him. Right as you do that, you feel the rough denim of his jeans brush against your clit, the small wave of pleasure enough for you to moan into his mouth.

“Do that again,” Joost says softly in your ear, his kisses spreading to your jaw and neck; you do as you’re told, your body grinding against his thigh in small circles as Joost attempts to undo your bra, his big hands reaching over to your back, under your top.

“Let me do it,” You laugh, noticing the way he struggles, “So I guess you haven’t seen anyone else if you’re struggling this much,” You tease him, as you take off your bra and shirt altogether.

Joost grins, his eyes momentarily sweeping across your half-naked body. He firmly holds your waist, “No one’s as good as you,”

You smile at the praise, before Joost pulls you closer, pressing a wet kiss to your neck. You start to move against his leg again, this time only more upwards, until you’re full on sitting on top of him. You breathe sharply, trying to get whatever bit of pleasure you can from his clothed cock.

“Want me to take my pants off?” He asks, and you nod, desperate to feel more of him.

He gets up— visibly stimulated, considering how deep his breaths are— hands rushing to his belt. You bite your lip, impatient eyes shifting between his face and the metal clasp of his belt.

Finally, Joost unclasps the belt, his pants falling to the floor with a metal sound. He looks back at you, his gaze soft as he steps forward.

Again, he lowers his head, his lips catching yours in a hungry kiss; with his knee on the bed, stabilizing himself, he slowly pushes you backwards onto the cold covers, one of his hands wrapping itself around your tits in the meantime. You sigh in pleasure, allowing Joost to lean more forward as you instinctively open your legs. His lips move to your jaw, before he sparsely places open-mouthed kisses across your upper body.

You catch a glimpse of him as he presses a soft kiss on your stomach, his hands sliding down to your hips, over the satin fabric of your skirt.

“Please,” Is pretty much the only word you can muster, your voice laced with need.

Joost briefly looks up at you, pouting playfully— “Aw my baby’s desperate,”

“Shut up,” You lightly push your leg to hit him, quietly giggling to yourself.

Joost feigns pain, smiling widely “It’s okay. How can I ever say no to you anyways?” Reaching up to kiss you sloppily in the cheek.

As his lips once again wander off to your neck, you allow yourself to relax, stretching your neck to give him the access he needs.

You feel his hand go lower, his fingers toying with the waistband of your lace panties, before he lowers them down to your calves; if you weren’t so out of it, you’d be embarrassed at how quickly you’d grown wet, given all Joost has managed to do so far is just kiss you— But as his fingers start to rub your sensitive clit, that’s the last thing on your mind; you moan softly at each gentle use of his fingers, small waves of pleasure washing over you.

His teeth bite gently at your pulse point, as he picks up the pace of his fingers on your clit. Your breaths become shallow, pure bliss spreading throughout your body, signaling that your climax is near.

But Joost abruptly stops, now rubbing your clit in excruciatingly slow circles— once again, he’s playing with you, teasing you like he always fucking does in bed. He smirks against your neck, hearing you sigh in frustration.

“All good?” He asks, still maintaining the same slow speed.

“Are you serious?” You breathe out, attempting to, at the very least, sound a bit mad but you can’t take him seriously with the stupid grin he’s got on his face.

“What?” He knits his brows, feigning confusion.

You scoff, “Seriously Joost, you’re so mea-” Your words are cut off by a sharp moan as Joost picks up speed again, even going as far as to slide one finger in. “Mean.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about lief,” Again, he slows down.

“Joost!” You say in frustration, though you still giggle at his unserious tactics.

Joost’s free hand cups your face, caressing it with his thumb. “Alright, alright— het spijt me,”

This time he doesn’t tease you, instead now fully focusing on making you feel good; he pops two digits inside of you, the wet sound of your pussy and small moans being the only sounds in the quiet room. Your climax is unmistakably close, having you full-on whimpering now. As your legs start to tremble, you’re overcome with pleasure, Joost’s fingers insisting until the very last second before he stops.

“That’s it,” Joost affirms, getting your hair out of the way for you as you try to catch your breath.

He sits beside you, looking down at your face before he squishes it.

You chuckle, “What was that for,”

“You look pretty like that. Did you change your hair?” He asks softly, and you find his genuine curiosity cute.

“No, I don’t think so,”

He nods, “You good to keep going?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” You’re quick to reply, eager to give back to him, make him feel as good as he did you.

You reach out your hand to touch his face, as Joost leans down to kiss you. You hand slides down his chest, until you palm his cock him over his boxers, getting an idea of just how hard he is.

“Can you-” You say, cutting the kiss, “Can you sit on the bed,”

Joost nods, leaning backwards, against the headboard; you crawl over to his side before positioning yourself on top of him, his hands immediately coming to rest on your hips.

“There we go,” He smiles up at you as you trace your fingers along his face, just admiring how pretty he looks from this angle. “You drive me fucking crazy,”

“Do you say this to every girl?” You joke, narrowing your eyes— or at least, you think you’re joking, using humor as a shield to hide your buried insecurities. Constantly doubting the possibility that he could have actual feelings towards you, that you’re not just another girl to him,

“What?” He looks at you in genuine confusion, not following the joke. He’s always hinted the insecurity in your words, and really, it frustrates him. Countless times has Joost tried to convince you otherwise, to make you trust him but in the end, it always ends in a fight. “Y/n, there’s not another girl,”

Yeah right. “Yeah I know. Anyways”

You raise yourself up slightly, moving forward until you’re directly over his cock; you take the base in your hands, aligning it with your entrance— and just like that, Joost drops the topic, like he’s done a million times before, not wanting to kill the mood.

You glance at him, making sure he’s ready, before sliding onto his cock; you gasp, the pads of Joost’s fingers pressing harder into your skin, the feeling of shared pleasure overtaking the hurt and guilt in both of you.

You move slowly at first, trying to feel every inch of him, get used to his size after so long. Joost pulls you closer by your waist, placing pecks all over your collarbones, where the necklace he once got you, jingles the more you pick up the pace.

“Fu-ck,” You whisper, “It feels sso good,”

His hand glides over your hair, comforting you. “I know,” He says quietly, breathing hot against your neck.

You let soft moans fall from your lips, grabbing his shoulder for support, your nails biting into his skin. He sucks in a breath, groping your tits as you feel his wet kisses litter your neck. You try to bounce faster on him, desperate to relieve the pressure between your hips, while still holding onto him, not wanting the moment to end. You gently pull him away from where he is, buried in your neck, just craving to see his face. His blue eyes gaze back at you, soft and brimming with vulnerability, something you’ve never seen before in him, not at a moment like this, at least.

You don’t speak, overwhelmed by all the emotions you’re experiencing. You wish you could scream at him for how he treated you, blaming him for the situation you’re in, even though you’re just as bad; but then again, looking at him now, staring into his eyes, you can’t shake the inescapable feeling that you’ll always love him, that one way or another, he’ll always hold a special place in your heart.

Instead, you lean forward, wrapping him in some sort of a hug, maybe because you’re growing tired, maybe because hugging him is all you need right now, hot tears brimming in the corners of your eyes.

Joost holds you tight, taking it upon himself to continue as he senses how increasingly tired you’re getting. His first thrust into you, coaxes you to outright gasp, placing both hands on the headboard now. You can hear Joost mutter a few incoherent words under his breath, pushing his cock into you at a speed that makes your brain go numb.

Your whimpers are like music to his ears, urging him to keep going as he wants nothing more than to make you feel good. It’s moments like this when he feels like you’re meant to be with each other, like this could really work, like he can finally tell you he loves you. But later in the night, the guilt always settles back in, reminding him of who he is, of who he can never be for you.

Joost groans, holding you so firmly that his hands are sure to leave marks on your skin.

“Are you close, baby,” He says through gritted teeth, briefly glancing at you, nestled into his neck.

“Yeah,” You say sharply, at the edge of crying with the amount of pleasure you’re feeling.

Joost nods, thrusting into you sloppily yet relentlessly. You squeeze your eyes shut, letting the pleasure consume you as you feel his cock repeatedly on your sweet spot, the sensation mixed with everything else you’ve been feeling, causing tears to flow down your cheeks.

Almost simultaneously, Joost comes undone inside of you, his muttered curses and loud grunts sounding muffled against your ears.

He gives you one last kiss, just under your ear, as his movements come to a halt, his grasp on you loosening.

Exhausted, you barely even move with him still inside of you, as Joost fixes the hair that sticks to your skin. You close your eyes, breathing heavily, trying to cherish as little time as you have left before another argument begins—because the truth is, you both know what’s coming; the unresolved anger, the denial, the hurt, the disappointment; it won’t stay buried for long.

“Can I ask you something,” You ask, head rested on his chest, facing away from him.

You hear him hum, taking it as an answer to keep going,

“Did you… did you miss me at all?” Is all you can ask him, in need of some closure, to at least try and see if he feels any other emotion towards you except for lust.

Joost feels his chest hurt, hearing the pure vulnerability and doubt in your voice; “Of course I did,”

I love you, that’s what he wants to say; but he just can’t get the words out.

Your lips curve into a faint smile. You allow yourself to trust him for just a moment, believe that his words are true for once and feel the comfort that comes with that thought. His fingers gently run through your hair, and you let the silence between you linger.

For now, you can almost convince yourself that nothing is wrong, that everything is as it should be.

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a/n: if this ain’t me 😂😂😂

anyways THANK YOU if you read this far!!!!!! this is honestly one of my fav things i’ve written and i hope u enjoyed it as much as i did <3 happy new years xx

[1nthedarknessofthenight]

﴾ i drink your blood and i eat your skin, part twelve.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x f!reader

genre: vampire au

word count: 11,6K

warnings: angst ⋆ smut ⋆ dry humping!

masterlist

playlist

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Your lips were apart, mimicking those kisses he put into your hairline. They were soft, like a feather caressing and tickling your heated skin. You could feel your own blood ablaze by his touch, eyes just barely open from the feeling of his hands on you. A fog, a translucent mist blinded you and you knew it was nothing, but desire. You were far away, too deep into that dark feeling, his short and heavy breaths like a gentle, cold breeze blowing in your ears. His hands, cold yet warm from the meaning they held, followed the curve of your waist, nothing but a thin fabric separating you from feeling his blunt nails scratching you.

Your mind was empty, you only feel now. You didn’t feel anything other than him softly holding you into him and this never felt before pleasure. It was so consuming, it was too strong and you did nothing, but succumb to it. Your head rolled back, his broad, muscular shoulder letting you take a look at him. His stare was unmoving, yours hazy and you could see his eyes flickering from light blue to flaming red. He pressed his hand onto your stomach, pulling you closer to his chest that rose heavily under you. A sigh left your lips, when his fingers digged softly into your plush skin.

Coldness, coming from his other hand that found your exposed shoulder blade, made goosebumps appear all over your body. You felt yourself trembling, sighing out in short puffs as his hand traveled across you. From your shoulder to your collarbones, dipping just slightly into the place were your bone made a prominent dent, like he was trying to crawl his way into your heart. His hand caressed the neckline of your flimsy nightdress, hanging so loosely around your body, before he went a little higher. Your eyes were teary, not even questioning yourself why, because they came to you naturally. It didn’t feel like you had any control over your body — he did and he looked well aware of it. You didn’t pull away nor protested…you had become a mere puppet in his hungry hands.

His eyes changed. Red swirling around his blown out pupils that held so much longing. His lips, bitten raw by his sharp teeth were smeared with his own blood. You own lips fell apart, like trying to catch a drop of him. You wanted to taste the tangy and irony liquid on your tongue, but your next breath was taken away from you, when his fingers pressed into your neck. Your small gasp was still loud enough to cut through the fog around you. You couldn’t move, you couldn’t do anything against him, too weak to even jump away, when he tilted your head back to bare your naked neck at him.

A subtle kiss landed on to the exposed skin, his saliva that seemed to drool out of his mouth making you shiver in expectation. Just the tips of his fingers pushed into your pulse, lips nearing the marked spot. His tongue run along the length of your neck, before there was a pause in his movements. You had a feeling why — you knew why and you did nothing to stop him. His hold was strong, mouth running over you like he wanted to replace your natural scent with his. You felt the sharpness of his canines scraping you, you felt how his movements came to a full stop, mouth right on the vein pushing against your skin. And then without any word or a sound his teeth broke the thin skin of your neck.

Your body didn’t become stiff nor fought against the obvious danger that at the moment seemed like nothing, but everything. There was no pain, only this wave of pleasure crushing over you that seemed to have no end at this moment. His teeth were so deep in you, mouth sealing the spot so not even a drop could be wasted. He sucked your blood softly, lovingly. Everything seem to became more bright to you the more he drank from you, but then it all changed when your hand fell on his…

You didn’t recognize it…it felt suddenly so heavy against you, so cold it made your own freeze and you felt a sudden and unbearable pressure on your neck. You suddenly felt the painful sensation from where his lips were and your eyebrows pulled together, mewling in discomfort. Your hand pressed down on his again in hopes he would pull away, but he only pulled you more closer to his hard body. The hand on your neck wrapped around your airways, making you gasping sharply, but your own breaths were taken away from you. You started to crash against at him, screeching agony filling you. More and more you try to escape his hold and you at that realize how sharp his nails had become — how his mouth opened and his teeth started to nibble at your flesh, tearing you apart.

So cold — everything became so cold. You could only feel the sensation of your hot blood flowing down your body. A cry, small and broken left you when you felt the teeth of the vampire pushing into your pulse. You wanted to scream, plea for him to stop and spare you from the agony. Your head filled with screams of your own, but you swore you could hear every scream from all the victims of this creature latching onto you. He didn’t feel like the man you thought he was — he became a monster…a man hungry for power.

You started to fall, eyes closing and opening. It was like you could see the picture of your dismise right in front of you. Were you really that blinded by his beauty and his voice, his promises and shared whispers that you couldn’t see the truth? The painful truth that you were suddenly pulled away from, when he pulled his teeth out of you. The last drops that were left in you weren’t enough to help your senses. He took everything from you and when your heavy head tilted to glance upon him — you couldn’t even see him. He became just a blur, his features unreadable and you wondered if it even was truly him in the first place. The only thing you could feel was the agony, exhaustion and a hush whispers piercing you.

“Come to me.”

The words strike you, haunt you, lingering in you as your eyes fall shut. Your hand was outstretched, trying to catch — safe yourself from the big fall. You scratched at the last pieces of hope and sanity, but it all slipped right through your heavy hands. An agonizing and terrifying darkness filled your body, mind and all of your senses. It tasted horrible, like dirt and iron, it smelled like rotten flesh, felt freezing to the touch and in your state you couldn’t even open your eyes. You could feel yourself falling, stuck in the moment and terrified of the thing that is waiting for you at the end of the path.

Your body started to tremble wildly, fighting against it, but it all soon started feel like there was something holding you — squeezing you in hopes you would open your heavy lidded eyes. You didn’t want to, you fought against it, but it soon become so great, you couldn’t stop yourself from blinking your eyes open.

The same blur, fog that blinded your sight came back, but when you blinked more and more you soon realized it were just your tears blocking your way. Everything swirled around you, colors, textures and shapes all over the place, before you start to recognize the new light that formed before you. Him — he was the one shaking you, one of his cold hands on your shoulder and the other right on the side of your neck. You breathed heavily through your nose, staring at the man hovering over you. On his face was fright, while also relief, but when he sighed in such emotion, your ears started to ring at that familiar sound and you saw nothing else, but your vanishing memory. How he gripped onto you so tightly, teeth deep inside your neck that is still being held by him, the pain that he caused you — you had to jump away from him.

You sit up, pushing away from his hold that felt soft to the touch, but you still could remember how it so quickly became unbearable. Your own hand finds your neck, searching for any sign, anything…but there was nothing, but your jumping pulse under your finger tips. Your eyes blink rapidly, jumping around the room, lip quivering. “It’s me…” You hear his whisper, but you only shook your head in denial. Turning back to him there was nothing, but pain — he is broken by your sudden fright you held. “Y/N.” His voice started to hurt your ears. You couldn’t catch your breath, your body covered in a thin layer of sweat and goosebumps. You mind was shattered into pieces and you have hard time picking them up, when nothing, but darkness covered every corner of the room.

“Can you feel it?” You say, voice rough like from screaming, far away like it’s wasn’t your own. “I felt it…” Your eyes were looking behind him, waiting for anything to climb out of its hiding to catch you with its claws and teeth. You could still feel those cold hands gripping, you still could sense the monster eating you alive…

The man beside you came closer and you almost cry out as you began to tell him apart. It wasn’t him, it couldn’t be — then why did he remind you so much of the thing you saw? It wasn’t him…in the dream, you were just dreaming. Dreath and absolute exhaustion wraps around you and your eyes soon fill with tears. You were loosing your mind, not even few moments of joy you felt in this house could help your corrupted mind.

Hyunjin watched you — the first twitch in your features, the first irregular jump in your heartbeat. How you started to breathe heavier, how your body became hot, how your lips parted into a silent cry. He was paralyzed by how your once peaceful state formed into this. You were shaking, pleading for what you were experiencing to stop and he instantly leaped from his state of shock and fright to pull you out of yours. Now, you are looking at him so wildly, like you were still sleeping and not being able to recognize him. You had trouble recognizing the real, the truth.

He sees your hand on your neck, pinching almost at the thin skin. You jumped away from him so fast that it looked like his touch burned you, but the more he stared at you, the more your expression pulled into sadness and defeat. He couldn’t help himself from not closing the distance between you, that seemed long as mile. When he moves closer to you, you don’t move away from him again, on the other hand you are slowing falling into his awaiting embrace. His hands fall onto your shaking, slumped shoulders, pushing at you just so carefully. He pulls you to him softly, scared that you would again move away, but you only crumble against his chest. Your head falls to his shoulder, your hot tears staining him and letting him feel your pain. “I thought, I was getting better…” Your voice is broken and his own eyes sting from your state.

Hyunjin doesn’t want to say that it was again just a dream and nothing more, he started to also believe that something is happening to you — and he seems to have not a clue why. He didn’t know anything and it is hurting him so badly to see your blissed and joyful smile turn so quickly into to sorrow and pain. He has no explanation, it is like he has to know himself why, because you are his second half — person he searched for so long and you are being taken away from him so soon and right before his eyes. The rage in him wanted nothing more than to destroy everything, everyone doing this, but now the sadness overpowered everything in him.

He watches, how your hand still lingered on your neck, pressing down on one specific spot, right over your pulse. His own hand travels to yours and it shakes in his hold as he pulls it away from your red neck, marked by your own touch. You were only hurting yourself more. “There’s nothing–“ It is like he knew you were searching for something and you let him turn your head to look at the mirror beside the bed.

Your face is pale, eyes red and puffy, tears drying on your body that slowly stopped trembling the more his touch seeped through your skin. You look down at your neck and you find nothing. Not even a small mark and you at that remembered the night before. It wasn’t him, you remember his kisses — so different to those you dreamed about. Yet there wasn’t even a spot that would tell you that even the night before happened. You started to almost wonder if you also just dreamt about it…

“Nothing…” You repeat to yourself, closing your eyes briefly from the pleasurable, sweet and intimate memory, before turning to look at him. “It was nothing.” Just another dream, another nightmare that it wanted you to seen and feel. It wasn’t real…it wasn’t your own mind doing this to you.

Hyunjin held your face in his hands, thumbs going over your dried tears and he nodded in agreement to encourage you. He smiled softly, but it was subtle, because you are still holding onto that dream. He wishes, he could be the one instead of you. “Just another dream–“ Or an omen? Can you really pretend, tell yourself that it wasn’t nothing, but a dream? You would be lying to yourself and you are not sure if it would help to ease your mind.

His lips, so soft and pillowy land on your forehead and you slowly melt into it. This intimate touch, it couldn’t be mimicked, but you still fell for its tricks. You look at his face — from his lips, still stained by you, to his eyes, blue and calming. “Then why did it feel so real?” You whisper, pulling yourself closer to him, scared of the darkness behind his figure. He had to feel it, it still lingers on his lips — but to him he couldn’t taste anything, feel nothing other than your emotions. Hyunjin couldn’t sense the reason. Your hand, still in his falls onto your neck, images of its lips and teeth flashing before you — so painful and do cold. “It’s like I could still feel it — feeding from me.“

Hyunjin stare is hard, face pulled into a frown that seem almost unemotional, but you can see the questions in his eyes. His fingers replace yours, trailing over the vein in your neck, but he did not look away from your eyes. “Feeding…” The word is familiar to him and when his gaze drops finally to your neck, he suddenly looks back at your face with a knowing look. “Were you dreaming of a vampire?” He asks, back straightening so minimally you almost missed it, but you could see the anger in his eyes. The anger from realizing that a same creature like him did this to you.

You grimace, your head pounding when you go back to the dream, only finding yourself searching — you can’t even remember it correctly and again there was nothing, but pain left behind it. “Yes…it was horrible—“ You choke almost, forgetting how to breathe. “It was so strong and I couldn’t do anything, I felt everything it did to me, and then I was falling — losing…” Your eyes sting, but you have no tears left, too exhausted to cry. You look at your hand, into your palm that soon is hidden by his and it makes you glance back at him. “You saved me. I don’t know what would’ve happened if you didn’t wake me—“ The hand on your neck no longer holds pain and you sigh in relief, it was really him.

Hyunjin doesn’t let you finish, shaking his head, pulling you closer to his body. “Nothing, Y/N…” His hand on your neck comes to your face and you sigh again at the gentleness. “Nothing would’ve happened because it was just….nothing.” But was it? He pulls away from you slightly and you just catch the flash in his eyes.

Your lips fall apart. “You don’t believe me?” You ask him in small disbelief and you feel your heart cracking.

Hyunjin doesn’t answer right away, not looking at you fully and you can only look at him in shock. His hold on you suddenly becomes heavy and when you just barely indicate to pull yourself away from him, it was like your move pull him out his thoughts. You stay silent, waiting for his answer as the air around you thickens. He has to sigh, looking over your almost disappointed expression. “I do believe you, trust me…” He sighs, breath mixing with yours and his words do sound truthful. “I watched the dream happen to you, but I can’t say that isn’t just your mind.” You listen carefully, face falling just a little. “Part of me thinks it isn’t, because you still have bits of my blood in you, it should’ve helped you sleep…but we also no so little…”

You nod, looking at his eyebrows that are pulled into a frown. “You don’t know if you can trust my dreams.” You voice out the obvious and you see why and understand how he feels about these things happening to you. “I understand, but please listen to me–“ You can’t believe, it doesn’t make sense that it truly could be just your mind. You don’t know yourself — you don’t know anything, other than those emotions you experience every time something like this happens to you and it can’t come from you. “The pain, the emotions, all these things I feel in my sleep, with my eyes closed and mind open can’t be made up — they can’t.”

Your words come out choked, because you just now realize how you started to crumble again just from the lingering memory of the dream. Your eyes are red, lip trembling and his heart breaks, because how could he say such thing? You are the only thing that matters, you are everything and how could he question your own pain? He doesn’t like to show his emotions and it seem like you were once the same as him, but now you are letting him in — letting him see you like this, letting him be the person that shall hold you and whisper sweet nothings to your ears in hopes he would curse those haunting thoughts away. But he…he doesn’t know if he is ready to share with you his own pain and sadness. Because it would mean that this would be real…

He huggs you tightly, letting your head fall onto his chest and he wonders if you can hear his death heart beating as he tries to escape the pain. He has to be the strong one, but his voice betrays his cold demeanor. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, I do believe you, I really do–“ His tone of voice is so shaky, almost unrecognizable, but you do not break more, it seems like hearing such raw emotion from him makes you calmer.

Your heart hammers against your chest. The feeling of his arms caging you was something so new to you, but also so familiar. “You think a witch is doing this to me?” You wonder out loud, mouth pressed against his white, thin shirt.

You can basically feel him shaking his head, the slump in his shoulders showing a small defeat. “I can’t say, I do not know much about them, but if they would be powerfull enough then maybe, it would make sense why we didn’t find anything.” His voice is clear now as few moments pass by, you both became calmer in each other arms.

“But shouldn’t you know about them? All of them?”

“Yes, but we mainly keep track of our own species, though witches are certainly one that should be aware of by anyone…” Hyunjin sighs into your hair. “I hate that I know nothing, that I can’t do anything other than wait–“

You pull away from his chest ever so slightly, just to look up at him. He watches your lips stretch into a small smile that seem to be more broken than ever. “Then let’s just wait…” You mumble, your words piercing him.

He looks at you softly, but the pull at his eyebrows stays the same. “Please, don’t sound like that..” He pleas.

“Like what?”

“So defeated…” The smile disappears from your face, eyes dimming.

“The ball is tomorrow.” You say, stating the obvious and the painful truth that you will have to go through. Time is closing onto you, so close to the end which you don’t even know it’s goal. You can’t ignore the fact that you maybe really will die tomorrow, the sliver of hope becoming so little it seems like there wasn’t even one to begin with. Maybe if your dreams weren’t so terrible, so haunting, maybe if you would not think of the worst. But there’s him — he on the other hand tries the ignore the obvious and hope for the better.

“I know.” He says, looking down at you, with sorrow, hand twitching against your hot cheek. “But please don’t be afraid, no one will even dare to touch you with me by your side.”

“But what if they come?” Are you trying to push him away, see what would be the breaking point for him to let you go? He would never…

“Not even them.” Hyunjin states, tone hard and you fight the argue to crumble again from his determination.

Your eyes blink slowly at him, melting into the palms of his hands. You could still remember just how much you feared him before, despise him almost and now? You think you have never felt more cared for. It’s still so foreign and when you finally did succumb to your emotions again, it might be all soon gone. You do not know if you are more afraid of death or from the fact you might never feel like this again. “Hyunjin…” It’s like a prayer, lips falling apart as his thumb presses on your bottom lip. He wants you to repeat his name again.

“Y/N…I know sadly that if they do know of you that they already would try-“ He can’t finish the god forsaken word, but you do it for him.

“To kill me?” You continue, your still joined hands shaking around each other. The word for you means such a familiarity. “Because I know what you are?”

He feels your every word on his thumb that comes to caress your cupids bow. “Yes…” That answers both of your question, though the first one still lingers in the room. The oldest of his kind disappeared a long time ago, abandoning their responsibilities and appearing only to express their displeasures. Even if they don’t show themselves, they hide behind every corner so there would be not a single thing missed by them. Something tells him they do know about you and hearing that their first rule — humans can’t know of our kind, was broken…they surely would have done something about it a long time ago. Maybe they are also waiting for your enemy to reappear so they could for once take a stand — maybe they are just here for the show. Hyunjin, like everyone know their act — trying to appear uninterested, but they thrive in the drama of it all. Were they waiting for the right moment or did they already decided that killing you will do them no good? If they did that, their true enemy would win and that’s something Hyunjin knows they would not be pleased by.

So lost in his thoughts he just know sees the look on your face. “Is there something you wish to tell me?” He already knows what it is about as you look back at him.

“Can I?” You cough, wincing at your weak voice. While he became lost in his thoughts, you also started to think about all of this. You again thought of the possible future and then it led you to your friend Mia. How is she? Does she misses you as much as you miss her? You need to hear her voice if it means you might never hear again. She is your everything, a shoulder to cry on, a person that would listen to your every trouble and every dream you had for yourself before this. You miss her so much and the fact her face started to fade away made you taste bitter. “If something does happened to me, can I at least talk with my friend before I-“

Just a small anger flashes in his eyes from your words, fingers pressing into your skin more meaningfully. “You won’t, don’t you even dare finish it…” Hyunjin realizes how harsh he sounds, when you give him a look of guilt. You were asking him something, but he firstly didn’t hear anything other than you excepting your end. You were asking him for permission to talk to your friend, which you maybe might not meet again and the fact you are asking him, makes him feel awful. “You, of course you may talk to your friend.” His tone of voice is softer now, understanding.

The silence after is welcoming. In his quiet presence you gather your thoughts, take your time to calm your heart and mind. He helps you go through every thought with his thumb rubbing circles over your hand, lingering on your ring finger slightly. The darkness around you clears and you realize that again it’s sunset, orange light peaking from behind the curtains. It’s almost amusing how much your body got used to his life style. You can feel his gaze on you, not to mention his face is just few centimeters away from yours and you have to calm yourself down from the proximity. However you two were yesterday way closer to each other, so close…the memory is bright to you and finally that somehow helps you forget the pain and future. You wonder if he can hear your racing thoughts, feel and maybe see the blood under your skin rushing to your face. You always thought that being intimate with someone would be different — nerve racking, but you didn’t feel that scared of showing that side of you, that you only knew of yourself till the night before.

You see the shift in his face way before you hear the sound of the door to the bedroom opening, jumping lightly in your spot as the door slam into the wall. Your widened eyes snap to the direction, while the man before you slowly follows your movements. The sandy haired man looks instantly at you two, eyes widening just slightly like he was the one being startled, though the spark is not missed in his eyes. “I’ve been waiting…for way too long.” He says and without any further explanation he marches into the room, right to the direction of your closet.

Your confusion makes you momentarily forget about your thoughts, glancing at Hyunjin briefly, before looking back into the doorway when another man appears. The blonde right upon his arrival flashes you a dazzling smile that flatters just a little at your state. He could see right through you, even if you are now bewildered by this odd visit more than anything. “You alright?” Felix asks you, eyes going back and forth between you and Hyunjin, before they fall at your still joined hands.

You can see from the corner of your eye how Minho stops just for a moment his ramming through the closet to also glance at you. Just for a moment you don’t want to think and you do silently thank for such a distraction from their presence. “Of course.” You nod at him and you can feel all of their eyes on you, knowing, but thankfully they do not ask further. Your eyes go back to the man at the closet, looking over those dresses given to you. You can’t lie that his minor expression aren’t amusing. “What’s the rush?” You ask, looking at Felix who leans on the doorway.

You gasp, when you suddenly from the corner of your eye see Minho throwing a dress right at you, but thankfully the vampire beside you catches it before it can be smashed into your face. Hyunjin sends an unimpressed look his way, but his friend only flashes him a crooked smile. “Just joins us at the dance room, when you are ready.” He says, walking away, with a hand on Felix’s shoulder to push him out of the room. “Be quick.” He states and Hyunjin has to roll his eyes at his behavior, but it is soothed with an apologic smile from his other friend.

You only give him a small look of confusion, however not too worried about what this might be about as you look down at the sparkling light dress in your hands. The fabric is soft, like water pooling in your hands and the color stands out in the darkness. Your mind and heart betrays you — it almost looks like a wedding dress and the irony is strong on your taste buds. You don’t have to look at Hyunjin to see if the same thing is on his mind, pushing yourself out of his hold to change. Alone, because you don’t know if you could hold yourself back if he would touch you again like yesterday. Though you don’t know that’s what he was waiting for — give into your desire.

────

A big weight was put onto your shoulders the moments you stepped into the dress. The soft fabric was nothing, but burning, when you saw yourself in the mirror. You wonder if Minho gave you this dress on purpose or maybe he didn’t think that you would actually take it the wrong way. It’s beautiful, you can’t lie about that, but the light sparkle didn’t match your sorrow expression. Though when you stepped out of the bathroom, so nervously, heart jumping, when Hyunjin turned to look at you, it all became too…real.

You don’t even know if you will live long enough to see yourself in this type of dress again. Maybe and maybe the man looking at you would be standing there at the end with the same look of astonishment like right now. You know that the ball was just a plan — a plan that is only mean to provoke the people you are the most afraid of. Then why did it really feel so real?

Hyunjin will have to thank his friend for such an amazing choice. You looked nothing, but perfect as always and without even a single word whispered he knew what you wanted to say. However is it wrong to enjoy this while it lasts? While he has you by his side? He waited for so long and he will try anything in his power so it will last forever. No man, no creature would be able to steal you from him, he will not let it happen.

The silence is loud as he approaches you, taking in your beauty — every mark and every wrinkle. He hears your heart calling, jumping with his every step and just then you start to feel the sadness and pain quiver. Your lips so slightly lift up, but it was real. He took your arm, lacing it with yours and when you both went to meet his long life friends, he sees you both in the small reflection of the golden decor. The image becomes imprinted in his mind, fingers twitching, because he knows he will have to paint this memory to fully grasp it. To seal it…

The walk to the dance room is short and quiet, till the soft sounds of a piano fills it up. You ease at the soft and wonderful sound as you let the man holding you guide you. His home has so many secrets, you always become amazed by how many places there are and that you haven’t explored yet. The glass doors before you are opened, warm candle light welcoming and you are taken back by the polished floor that reflects the beautiful frescoes on the ceiling. Your eyes follow the sound of a music, falling on the short haired man sitting before a piano.

You know that he and the man behind him could sense you way before you walked into the room, but your presence doesn’t disturb Chan. Hyunjin watches you taking in the music, one of the many things that bound his family and he lets you have your moment of complete peace from his brother’s playing. Chan’s fingers move on the keys lightly, precisely and even if his movements slow down, till he eventually plays the last note, the warmness still lingers. He looks up at you, small smile on his lips and you just know he can tell how pleased you are from his playing and you can’t help, but mimicking him. You enjoy these moments with the others just as much as you do with the man next to you.

Your eyes go to the two men behind him, Minho at your stare putting down his glass filled with what you presume is blood to take a step closer to you. “The ball is tomorrow…as you know.” He says, eyes blinking away from you for a split second, but even though the fact what tomorrow leads to is bitter, he doesn’t sound like it. “There will be a dance and I thought it would be nice of you to join us right here, before tomorrow.”

You nod slowly. “Alright…” You say, watching him take another step closer to you. Were his eyes always so intense? You have to remind yourself of their alluring nature, but still Minho always looks so brooding, but not in such a bad way. The sandy blonde briefly glances at Hyunjin, before pulling your hand out of his hold to his. Your eyes dart between the pair, but you still follow the man holding you into the middle of the room. You blink as the light reflects the sparkles in your dress and you do catch Minho’s eyes lingering on you. When you both came to stop, him guiding your other hand to his upper arm, you can’t help but go back to those few times you have done this. “I-I don’t–“

You shuffle your feet a little, letting him put his hand on your upper back as he finishes your worry. “I know.” You frown a little at his words, not too offended, but still his boldness stabs a little. “I can tell by the way you stand–“ He explains and you at that stop your shuffling, bashfulness creeping up on you. However Minho isn’t too concerned about your lack of experience as he pushes you a little closer to him to gain your attention back. “Put your feet on mine.”

“I don’t know…” Your small insecurity is the thing that irritates him, but he still holds softness. Without a word you are lifted off your feet, small noise getting caught in your throat as he puts you on his shoes. Your wide eyes go to him, but his own are on the man at the piano, nodding at him. Your gaze goes to Hyunjin, who is already looking at you with an unreadable expression and you are startled a little when the man before you takes the first step.

You realize that him putting you on his feet was the right thing to do, because the spinning and twirling around is a little too quick for you. Your hands are gripping onto him, but you know he wouldn’t let you fall, with his brother staring st you so intensely. Minho is a smooth dancer and with years of experience that you lack. The music is slow yet dynamic and you have to wonder what you look like. Your skirt is heavy, separating you from his body and pushing you a little away from him. You can’t even see your feet, so you let him guide you. However he suddenly separates himself from you, pushing his arm out and you do stumble at that, skirt getting caught in your shoe.

His sigh is loud, though not too disappointed. You are embarrassed that the first move you make yourself is wrong, your hand still in his as he stares deeply into the side. “Felix, come here.” He pulls his hand away from yours, making you gather your skirt in your hands, while you watch the blonde emerge from behind the piano to join you two. “Watch.” Minho says, looking at you and you are relieved that he doesn’t sound disappointed in you. You walk away from the middle, feet dragging you to Hyunjin, who still doesn’t take his eyes off you, but too be honest you are too occupied by the dancing pair infront of you.

The music starts again, your eyes on Felix as he takes your place and you soon become hypnotized. They move so smoothly, not missing a beat, gazing into each other’s eyes and you at that just realize how important eye contact was. They form into one. The heels of their shoes click on the floor and its trully mesmerizing that even that sound blends into the music perfectly. When they depart from each other, hands joined, you can finally see where you did wrong. You can feel Minho’s eyes briefly going to you to see if you are paying attention and how could you not...

The blonde replacing your spot, twirls and twists more and more, when the sound of the piano picks up speed. You can tell that they must be following a beat of an different instrument not present in the room and you nervously wonder how much more nerve racking will it be tomorrow. You do in the moment ignore the future, the pair letting you take a small breather, before they all too soon stop.

You watch them bow to each other, before Minho goes to look back at you, without even showing any signs of exhaustion from such a dance. “Good?” He asks, eyes glimmering.

You nod slowly, twirling your fingers. “Good.” You repeat and you watch his eyes go to the man next to you.

“Hyunjin…” A silent question is being asked, the sandy blonde gesturing to your form. You look up at said man, small sparks of nervousness appearing in you. He is already looking at you and you wonder if he even stopped to glance at the pair. “We shall go now…” Your head snaps back to Minho, catching him and the other two man just in time, before they could leave. “Good luck.” His words have a hidden meaning, but you still nod in appreciation. The other two nod at you in small goodbye and your eyes go to Chan, wondering how could you dance without music, but then you realize — they are giving you privacy.

The sound of the doors closing is a heavy in the silence of the room. In your field of vision comes a hand, making you turn to its owner. The candles cast shadows on his face and it makes his small smile stand out more and you fight back the shiver going through you as you put your hand in his. The quiet between you two is so intimate and you can’t keep your eyes off him as he takes you to the the middle of the room. His hold seems to be even softer than Minho’s, but Hyunjin’s definitely is stronger in a sense that it makes you crumble.

You put your hand on his arm, his a little lower on your back, fingers just reaching your waist. It’s on purpose, he couldn’t help himself. Without even a word, he lifts you up just like his friend did, but now it makes you gasp. You can’t look away from him, faces close to each other and you let him guide you. Your moves are still a little shaky even if he is dancing for you both, but that it is mostly now because of him and not your inexperience. “I am not a good dancer, sorry.” It flies out of your mouth, before you can stop yourself, because you now depart from him to twirl, just like his friend showed you.

He shakes his hand, pulling you back to him, but now without lifting you back to step on his feet. “Don’t apologize for such thing, I will guide you.” His voice is soothing, feeling a little better, because he is not judging you at all. His eyes leave your face just to look down at your figure and how your dress beautifully draped over you. You don’t even realize how mesmerizing you are in your dress and how perfectly it twirled with your every move. “See? You are doing great.” ‘Amazing even’, he wanted to say.

With his powers he sees the blood rushing to your face and he hides his small smile behind his hair. Your dancing slows to a simple waltz and you don’t even mind it, when your dance comes to an end. Your bodies sway to the absent music, both of you listening to your heartbeat and blood rushing in your ears. You finally see the small smile on his face as you look up at him. You can feel him making soft circles with his thumb on your waist, even if there was clothing separating you from his touch. The more you look at him, the more you understand his natural twitches in his face, just like now. You watch him silently, your slow dancing coming to an end, when one of his hands leaves you to reach into the back pocket of his pants.

Your mouth falls open a little at what he reveals to you. “My phone…” You say, when he pulls the device out of his pocket to hand it to you. With your stay here you didn’t even think much about it, too caught up in too many different things.

You take it from him, thumb brushing over the slightly dirty screen. “I apologize, that I didn’t give it to you sooner.” He says, though your eyes are still staring at the screen.

“Doesn’t matter.”

The realization of why he gave it you sets in, small lump forming at the back of your throat. You switch on the screen, light shinning into your face and it burns your eyes a little, but as much as the photo on your lockscreen. It’s so weird to be holding something so modern after such a long time. You stare, completely unblinking at the photo of you and your friend and it makes you tremble. It’s like you are looking at a completely different world and your heart breaks at the sight of your friend’s face.

Your thumb hovers over her features and Hyunjin steps away from you, pulling you out of your thoughts and making you glance at him. He only gives you a small look of understanding, taking a few steps away from you. It wouldn’t matter if he would walk away into a different room, but you do honestly appreciate his presence more than anything at this moment. You click away on your phone to your contacts and waiting to press your friend’s name. You don’t know, what you are waiting for, the silence and the guilt and everything seems to only gather, so you at that press blindly at her name.

Putting your phone to your ear, you turn away from Hyunjin, though it wasn’t necessary as he can hear everything. You wonder, what time it is as you glance out of the window next to you, listening to the ringing sound, before it suddenly stops. “Mia?” Your voice is strained, eyes wide.

Your hopes are fullfilled, when you hear a sigh fanning over the speaker. “Hi, Y/N, how are you?” You close your eyes, already shaking, relief instantly washing over you.

“I am good.” You answer after few beats, not joining your friend’s happy tone, but you can’t fight your emotions. It’s all so casual, her voice and tone, it’s like nothing happened.

“How are you enjoying everything?” Mia asks and you hear small shuffling from her side. You wonder what she’s doing, what did she do and didn’t.

“It’s good…” You trail off, eyes going to the side. You don’t know what they told her. “I told you, where I was going, right?” It leaves your mouth smoothly, though it’s quiet.

“Yeah! Greece, right? You always wanted to go there, I know how much you love the sea–“ You nod, eyes closing again, hand tightening around your phone. She sounded so happy for you…

“Yes...how are you though?” You need to know everything, but you know it’s not the time for that, you know that you would crumble and tell her something you shouldn’t. You can’t — you can’t even say, that you might never see each other ever again.

“Everything is good around here, but it’s not complete without you.” Mia’s voice is filled with sadness and even if you know that it’s not so big, it doesn’t help you fight your own right now. “The Johnsons and I miss you, but I’m happy for you. Promise me, you will bring me some other time?”

Your face scrunches, mouth opening in a silent sob and you eyes start to sting at her small question. “I promise.” Your answer is so quiet you wonder if she could hear you properly through the shuffling from her side. She always had to do something, when talking on the phone…

“When are you coming home?”

The tears in your eyes and not voice out cries makes you nonverbal for a second. You press your hand to your eyes, smearing your hot tears across your face and you have to wonder, why you can’t be stronger. “I don’t know….” The strain in your voice is so clear.

There is a small silence on the other line, before the shuffling stops and your friend responds. “Are you okay?” Her voice is so sweet and you hate yourself for not being able to control yourself.

“Yeah, it’s just nice hearing your voice–“ You take a deep breath, while going through your answer, puffing air out of the away from the speaker.

You can hear her smacking her lips softly, cooing then. “Baby, if there’s something you want to tell me then you can.” You smile sadly, feeling the obvious stare at the back of your head.

“I know, I know — maybe later..”

“Okay, I’ll call you tomorrow.” Mia sounds unbothered and unknowing of the situation and even if it hurts, it is for the best. The last word is bitter, hurtfull and you dig your nails into your face.

“I can’t tomorrow…I will call you.” You can’t even promise her that.

“Okay and I’ll be waiting.”

You nod, staring out of the window with tears filling up your vision. “I love you.” Your sob almost breaks out of your mouth, making you bite down on your tongue.

“I love you too.”

Then the call ends. The beeping sound fills your ear and your arm falls back loosely to your body. You can’t — can’t breathe and you finally gasp loudly in pain. Your hand presses down on your stomach, body shaking in sobs. A cold air blows around you, before it wraps you into a tight embrace. Your phone falls to the ground, your skirt catching it just before it could shatter in pieces like your heart and you are thankful that he doesn’t stop holding you. You are so exhausted of everything — crying, shaking, knees buckling under you. His arms around your chest pull you to him and you cling onto them, gazing out of the window as the thoughts of the world beyond fill your mind.

────

Your eyes are plastered on the ceiling of the bedroom, hands clasped and fingers tugging loosely at the duvet. There isn’t for once a single thought in your head, only expectation in your body as you lay there in the bed alone. Your ears twitch, the low hum of your blood filling up the silence as you wait. Hyunjin is quiet also, the slightly open door to the bathroom creaking loudly. The age of his home only gives him away. It’s cold in the room as always, but it isn’t uncomfortable, though it certainly isn’t the cold you crave.

Hyunjin hand wraps around the doorway, eyes shining in the dark and drawn to your figure. The fall and rise of your chest is even, not even a single miss of irregularly in your heartbeat. It scares him a little, how calm you seem to be. His eyes fall from you to the couch, feet ready to drag himself to it, but with the first creak of the floor under him makes your lips part. “Join me.” You say and finally at that your heart stop for a split moment, blood rushing under your skin from your own words.

He doesn’t speak, doesn’t ask, following your almost demand and walking up to your layed out body. He stops at the side of the bed and he wonders if you now that the side you are laying on is his, but that no longer is important as your scent fills his nose. Your head falls to the side, glancing at him, him watching you pull away the duvet for him. Such a simple act, but so meaningful. He almost feels bad from the cold his body brings as he sits on the spot you made for him, but that’s exactly what you need to cool down your body.

Your hands touch as he takes the duvet from you to lay down, your figure slightly dipping to him closer as he joins your side. You don’t move away, nor your gaze and he is for the first time the one not looking. His eyes are on the trees, twisting around the wind blowing outside. Your scent is stronger than ever and he has to close his eyes in delight. He hears your lips falling apart before you even have a chance to speak and he instantly opens his eyes to look up at the ceiling. He could almost feel your stare through it. “Remember the first time we met?” You ask, voice soft and you grow to love how you can speak so softly and still be heard.

He humms lowly at the question, mind flashing with memories of the night. He doesn’t see anything other than the memory of your gaze meeting his for the first time at the bridge. His chest vibrates, purring almost, though his mind goes to the part of the night that caused all of this to happen. Your trembling body, covered in blood and tears, eyes wide in fear and staring right into his. “You were scared of me.” Hyunjin says.

He hears your shuffling and then your eyes on the side of his face. “You were scary…now you are not…not so much.” You mumble the last part and the hidden tone is obvious to him, so he can’t help but smile.

“I thought, I only made you nervous.” His teasing is light and you sigh softly, while looking at him.

“It’s both.” You say firstly and he at that tilts his head at you. “But not in a wrong way however.” His eyes are shining, predatory, but you do not fear them as much. It takes you back to yesterday — the loving yet rough touches, heavy breathing and sounds of pleasure, your lips and tongue coated with his blood…You don’t wait no more, the question unbearable and need to be spoken. “What did it mean to you?” What did it mean to you that you were the first that I shared my pleasure with? “Yesterday?”

He does feel the shift in you, how your chest rose and fell more in deep breaths and how your nose flared. His eyes go to your figure, your moving making the duvet slip down your body slightly, showing him the top of your chest. The nightgown, he realizes is the first one he had ever given to you and he can’t help, but let his gaze linger on your exposed shoulders. Hyunjin can still remember where he put each of his kiss and small bites. “Everything…” He whispers, your body visibly shivering from his voice and he hopes you know you are everything. You watch him, eyes brighting like he just remembered something and you found yourself to be correct at his next words. “I want to give you something.”

He sits up, hand trailing over the sheets to your naked shoulder, goosebumps immediately awaking. You let him guide you, his hand wrapping around your upper arm to push you to follow him. You sit up at that, heart racing suddenly as you watch him turn him away from you to open the nightstand beside the bed. Your eyebrows are furrowed slightly, sitting just a little straighter as he turns back to you. Your mouth falls open, eyes widening, because in his hand is a small box, opened, revealing a ring. You don’t need no light to see its beauty and you are so stunned by his gesture you only look at him in complete shock.

You think you have never seen him this nervous before — his bottom lip is caged between his teeth, looking at you from beneath his eyelashes and you don’t even realize how much your silence is killing him right now. You are just…speechless, you don’t know what to say, because you fear you don’t understand him clearly. “Are you asking me–“ No, you can’t be so stupid. His words from few days ago ring in your ears. He can’t be asking you to…

You are breathing heavily and Hyunjin’s hand holding the box almost shakes. “You mean so much to me…” His head falls to his chest, air getting stuck in his throat. “I know that it is all so quick and I wish we could have more time, more freedom, but I want to give this ring to you. I want you to wear it with my name on my mind that maybe in the future could be yours as well–“

Your hand fall on top of his, pushing at it just slightly to gain his attention. It works, looking at you so wildly you feel your lower tummy rumbling. “Put it on for me…” You say, head tilting to catch his gaze fully. He doesn’t show it, but he feels almost sick from how much this one feeling starts to creep up onto him. He pulls the ring out of the box, deep, red ruby glimmering in the moonlight as he wraps his hand around your wrist. You are shaking, fingers almost fidgeting too wildly in his hold, but it all stops the second he puts the ring slowly down your finger. The metal is cool, but it burns just the same as the fire rising in you. “It’s beautiful.” You don’t know what to say, your minor expressions talking for you as the meaning sits down on you.

It’s a perfect fit, like made for you and you are almost scared to look up from the ring to him. “You remember, when I was in the dungeons?” The question leaves you confused, but you only nod, eyes falling on his hand still around your wrist. “I was there because of this…when I was turned, I couldn’t go back to my home. I never saw my mother again, but I never left.” Your expression softens, looking up at him, but he is not looking back at you, his eyes are still set on your hand. “I send them everything — everything I stole from those innocent people, I gave my family. I felt horrible, I knew it wasn’t right to stole and this ring—“ His index finger, touches the stone slightly. “The stone in it was the last thing I gave my mother, nothing else. I remember her saying she always wanted a ruby rig and my father, like he knew it was a gift from me made it into a ring, with just a few pieces of metal, nothing more. After my mother died, my father took the ring and wore it around his neck till his last breath—“ He is shaking, hand gripping your wrist tightly and you soothed his pain by clasping your hand around his trembling one. “I couldn’t bear to look at it for a long time, because it reminded me how much time had passed — time I hadn’t spent with them. I was hiding in shadows, waiting to finally gain control over my hunger, but it was far too little time to truly overcome it. But I did kept it, hidden, but not forgotten and that day when I finally had the courage to go and get it, you appeared right in front of me…”

Your heart aches, eyes blinking away your tears at his words, but when he finally looks up at you, they pool down your cheeks. Words can’t describe how sorry you feel for him, for what those monsters and his creator did to him, so you pull him to you, just like he did to you. His head falls on your chest, ear pressing where your heart beats and he never felt more at home. Not when he and his brothers build this house together, but here in your arms. His fingers tear at your nightgown, mind slowly clearing as you caress his soft hair. Your kiss into his hair line makes him sigh, cold breath fanning over your collarbones and he presses his lips to you.

It’s a light, fatherly kiss, but he doesn’t stop at that. He puts a kiss where your heart is, trying to get closer to it more than he already is. Your fingers tangle in his hair at the quick change in him, when he more and more presses his mouth to your skin. They soon are open mouth kisses, wet and quick, like he has to cover every inch of your body. You squeeze his hand, your other tightening around his strands as he starts to breath shakily under you. His lips follow the veins under your skin, kissing and almost licking his way up your chest to your neck.

You gasp as he wraps his lips around you, sucking lightly and sighing out with you, when you tug at his hair. “I want…I want to-“ Your words are taken away from you with his hungry mouth and you at that take action.

Your inexperience is showing as your hands come to push at his chest lightly, sitting up in your spot. Your moves are shaky and not just by his doings. He looks so drunk on you and you are shocked by how much you seem to be having control over him. He waits for you, watching you closely as you slowly climb up his body. “Y/N…” Hyunjin must be dreaming, because you are looking at him so dearly, while also dripping in absolute sin.

“Is this–“ You are trying to catch your breath, but how when you are on top of him like this, how when he is looking up at you like that? “Do you want to–“

“Yes…so badly.” His hands find your waist, groaning from your words and everything that you are. Your body is so warm under his hands, pushing down at you and you at that crumble, falling onto him as he lays you down onto the bed.

Your legs part, letting him in between them as his head falls to your neck again. Your hands find his shoulders, gripping him tightly to you, head rolling back as he mouths at you again. It’s all so much for you right now, but not enough. The position he has you in is almost like a dream — a dream you once had, but this…this was unimaginable. Hyunjin doesn’t graze you with his teeth, lips and tongue lazily marking you, because he is more occupied by the feeling of your body under him.

You are delirious, looking at him as he tilts his head to catch your gaze, hands not stopping in their exploring. It is like he is trying to see if there is any hint of regret in you. His hands travel from your waist to your stomach, going up, before stopping under your breast. You push into him in reflex, flushtered by your own neediness, too blind to see it being mirrored by him. Your little permission, makes his hands shift higher, before wrapping them around you.

The moan ripping out of you is almost embarrassing as only just that makes you drip. He can feel your nipples under his palms, hands squeezing lightly at you and you suddenly at that push your hips against his. Now, he is the one groaning, his own hips pushing instantly against yours and you can’t stop yourself from grazing against him again. “Oh…Y/N. Like that, just like that-“ Your hand finds his wrist, frown of pleasure on your face as he starts to rub against you.

You can feel all of him and you shiver from the sheer length pressing to your center. Your hips shutter, not too confident in your moves, but he thankfully takes over. The first roll of his hips is hard and delicious. A whimper gets stuck in your throat, because you can already feel your underwear sticking to you, the material of his pants getting caught on your clit. Everything seem to be more clearer, more pleasurable than the night before, even if there isn’t any of his blood in your system no more. You realize that seeing his face controlling into the same amount of pleasure is just better.

A spike of insecurity strikes you, when Hyunjin suddenly sits up to kneel before you, eyes wide and glistening at you. His nose flares, taking in your scent, hands trailing over you to grip the underside of your thighs. You just realize how much you are exposed, how your nightgown doesn’t leave anything to the imagination and how it gathered around your waist. Your legs shake, closing just a little as his eyes fall right at your center and you just know he can see the growing wet spot of your arousal. You come to realize that it wasn’t something to be overly concern about, because he takes your literal breath away, when his fingers grab the meat of your thighs.

You let him lift your hips and pull you by your legs, so your bottom half is right in his lap, because the pleasure he gives you right after makes all of your insecurities melt away. Hyunjin breaths heavily just so he can smell you and you become bashful from it even if he starts to thrust his hips against yours. You bite your lip, arm falling over your eyes, but you still don’t look away from him. It’s so hot — everything. His plump lips are apart, soft noises — moans, groans and hisses leaving him as he moves harder and faster. His hair is in his face, but you can see his eyes going everywhere — from your face, to your moving breast and tummy, before they become fixated at the spot where your bodies met. You can’t lie that if he would be naked, pressing himself into you that it wouldn’t be better…but this is all you can handle right now. The pleasure, the emotions, everything is becoming too much for you. You try to be more quiet in your state, knowing that the others can hear you and it is like he knew you were thinking just that.

A breathless laugh leaves him, wide smile stretching across his face. That expression only gets you more mad as his moves are unwavering, even if lans closer to hover over your body. “Let them hear you–“ The words are whispered to you, his breath fanning over your ear, before he nips at your earlobe.

You whimper almost unwillingly, because you don’t know how to control your sounds anymore after his words. You are still quiet, but to a vampire’s ears it is enough as they probably can even hear your wetness staining you. Hyunjin hovers above you, face so close to yours you want to shove him back into your neck, because his stare is too much. His tongue pokes out of his mouth, your eyes staring at the pink muscle. The tug at your nipple is almost mean as it takes you by surprise, small pain that very quickly changes into pleasure striking you. You can see the silent question in his eyes again, when his hand finds your breast again, fingers playing with the hem of your nightgown and you only give him a look of expectation.

Hyunjin hunger is big and strong, tugging at the restrains of his sanity as he pushes your nightgown down to expose your chest. You are soft, beautiful enough to eat and he doesn’t think further, before his lips are on you again. His kisses, though they held a sense of neediness, are also becoming so desperate and he immediately takes his chance to wrap his lips around your hardened nipple. He can feel your heart drumming, blood rushing to the surface of your skin and it’s enough to tease him senselessly. Your sounds are shorter, almost like trying to catch your breath as he suck at your bud, other hand squeezing your other breast that is still covered.

You are so so soft and delicate here and he would feel sorry for ruining you like this if you wouldn’t be so responsive to his every touch. His cock is leaking, no doubt that his arousal is now mixing with yours through the thin layers of clothing. He thinks he has never felt so much pleasure in his life. It’s everything to him, but for you now it’s…too much — everything suddenly becomes too much for you to handle. The quiet, broken sound of your first sob, breaks him out of his trance, body freezing on top you. He pulls his mouth away from you, going blank as he lifts his head to look at you.

Tears are brimming in your eyes, before rolling down your hot cheeks, puffy lips apart and letting out small cries. Hyunjin hips shutter at your state and he thinks he died right there, but you don’t plea to the heavens as he slows his hips, you do the complete opposite. “Don’t stop…please don’t-“ Your voice is shaky, head titling to look at him. You hand goes to his lower back, pressing down to make him move again, but he only gazes at you in shock. “Please, Hyunjin.” Your cry mixes into a gasp as you pull him up with your hands on his face.

Your emotions are all over the place and you couldn’t hold back the sadness in you no more. It’s bittersweet as it is mixed with so much pleasure and you are thankful that he listen to your words when you look into his eyes. He understands — everything. You sigh in relief, pain and pleasure, when he puts his arms around you to hold you to his body, slowly picking up the delicious speed again.

He is hiding his face in your neck, soft whimper echoing around you as he so desperately chases yours and his pleasure so it would be the only thing left behind. “You are everything — you are my everything–“ It’s breaking your heart more. His voice is so quiet and soft you almost don’t hear him, but his hand finding yours tells you everything you need.

You lace your fingers with his, squeezing tightly, your nails digging into his alabaster skin and he lets you dig into him deeper so it would last. The small drips of his blood are ignored, when he feels your heart jumping, hips bumping against his. Your head rolls back, small sobs filling the room, when you feel yourself falling over the edge. Feeling and hearing your pleasure leads him to his own and he snaps his hips against yours hard, stilling as he cums right after you.

He doesn’t stop hugging you, even when he rides out yours and his pleasure, milking every last bits of it as he for the first time feels exhaustion taking over him. Hyunjin lets you cry, listening to your every sound, reading your every emotion without moving away from you. He caresses you, maping every dip and curve on your body, like it would be the last time he would be able do that. It won’t — he will make sure of that, but this night, he lets you express your own feelings that became so dear to him. Tomorrow won’t be your doom…it won’t be…

──────────────────────

taglist (still open);

@babrieeee @akaligogrrr @hyuninslutbbgirl @satosugu4l @lovemeorleavemetonight @dandelions-143 @skzfelixlove @syedazarintasnim @rylea08 @ahluvisyou @oddracha @annairacheyenne @dabiscrustyfeet @blankdyean @chartrucewhore @shuporangporang @palindrome969 @vv-us @reignessance @koalanacho @skz1-4-3 @hanonlymeuu @mlink64 @hopefulrascalstatesmantoad @ilprofumodeifiori @amanstiles @sofiadaputa @luvehhj @stayytthenight @eastjonowhere @black-sunshine-00 @lailac13

[cconfusedkat]

For another few decent weeks, I had been thinking abt Wilt's bishops,, and how I wanted them to look. Soooo over the past week, as well as pmv planning, I came up with a few things for the rest of the four :>ccc

This would be pre-betrayal, way before Wilt killed their siblings rather than,, just injuring them! No good deed! Ouch

Wilt had slowly become a spider everyone learned to fear by instinct. They had more members in their war cult compared to the other four—speeeaaaaking of cults, the only cult that didn't exist in Goat's world is the death cult! Instead, the purple crown of wisdom was given to Thanatos (a.k.a Narinder , puprinder if you will :>c for months i wanted to make a german spitz lol-)

Nowwww obligatory warning image ；

Hi! Hi. We good. Are we good now. Are you still okay with suicide and graphic death details . Let's continue 🎊

Their deaths were erased off the og two images up- but yeah, instead of leaving the four with injuries, they went with the full kill option,,, attempting to prove their worth as a god of war? Which? They SHOULDNT have since being a god AND monarch was already plentiful for them???? But hey i guess thats just how mental illness operates and passes down onto you

Ive yet to draw a proper thing for how thanatos. like. Laid there on his wooden bed with a carved skull. That was when i kept him as a cat but i changed my mind two days ago, and, well, here we are- hes a dog now-

Im about 50 seconds into the pmv so i dont have All the things i want to share from my brain! However without spoiling too much-

Wilt clearly did regret murdering their siblings after a while in Purgatory. This isnt them in Purgatory to clarify, as purgatory is a bright & neon orange and full of clouds,, plus we're missing the chain in the head if thats the case ^v^;;

Thanatos was the last planned one to die. Wilt was angry at how long he hid from them, and thanatos ... thanatos didnt know what else to do , especially considering he had a status to mantain and it was rather foolish of him to continue hiding.

Hours before Wilt would arrive to Thanato's palace, thanatos told his guards about framing wilt for murder. The guards looked at him like a crazed man (which, to be fair, he had a right to be going crazy cuz his siblings werent just dead but the other important gods were dying alongside,, he didnt wanna die under the wrath of the god of war. That'd make him look even more foolish than he already saw himself as)

Wilt busted down Thanato's door in his bedroom. Every other room in the palace of his was empty. They opened the curtains to only find his body laying flat—diagonally—on the wooden bed, his bishop clothes still on with a carved off head. His whole skull was visible and still had some blood left on the sockets and bone.

^ Forgot to mention, Wilt wasn't just freaked out at Thanato's still body on the bed. They freaked out because his "ichor" was red. Gods had black, blue, or golden ichor: mortals had just red blood. Wilt realized Thanatos felt every single second of pain from his own suicide.

Causing a panic response in Wilt as planned, they fell to their knees only crying more ichor,, Thanato's guards captured Wilt. It wasn't likely of them to go down without a fight. Areem, one of Thanto's main guards, knew this about Wilt; he prepared a step further, secretly being all the way on the top of the bed, plunging his sword into Wilt's head to go down through their whole body

UMMM. SO. That was what sent Wilt to Purgatory, can also be be referred to as The Above- Areem was the one to then guard Wilt usually in Purgatory. He gave them a change of robes, just not the ones they Actually wanted (the dark gray-purple robes with the gray-purple shall) WHIIIICH EXPLAINS THIS IMAGE FROM OCTOBER

Currently not too sure on what else to mention about these bishops! I did switch the evil's around, though :o) another little fact about Wilt is that their other four legs were cut off so that's why in Purgatory + Follower form they have two legs rather than their original spider form pre-betrayal.

I do wanna add that their actions are inexcusable so ,, even as a follower in goat's cult they're still like. Pretty rude and blunt. Sometimes it's on purpose, but lesser times its not on purpose. I like to believe they grew desensitized to death over time as well as lacking empathy due to social isolation for three millenia, so that explains their behavior much better rather than excusing it? They are the villain of their own history so- lmao-

The goat genocide happened simultaneously before and after Wilt's death! It took three millenia to eradicate all the goat's left of the warlands, perfect timing for Goat & Ram to die ++ showing up in Wilt's realm (which was another perfect convenience for two siblings to appear, since Thanatos died long ago and his wisdom crown was inactive,, the only crowns Wilt had access to were the crown of famine & the crown of wisdom! (Another thing that explained their changed title after giving goat & ram the crowns of war++wisdom, the god of fear and famine)

ER OK YEAH THAT MIGHT BE ALL I HAVE TO SHARE FOR NOW!! YAYYYYYY I just gotta continue working on the pmv :-3cc

[aychama]

OKAY BUT DOES LAMBERT GROW THEIR HAIR OUT AFTER DEFEATING NARINDER TO REMIND THEMSELF OF HIM??? CAUSE HE HAD LONG HAIR BUT NOW HE'S GONE SO MAYBE ITS LIKE KEEPING A PIECE OF HIM WITH THEM?! (gotta ask for analysis and symbolism purposes xD Am I reading too deeply into things?? Probably lmao)

Ehehehehheh

It seems like no matter how much they despise him, they still cant hate him.

They arent aware of the significance tho, they just get too stuck up in their mind thinking if they shortened their hair, they would look like their naive self again.

And they cant go back, the dead stay dead, right?

Also to get things out of the way, Narinder cuts his hair after being revived because he thinks he can just run away and become a nobody, living his new life in peace.

Unfortunately for him tho, leaving his old habits is way too hard, he sees the weaknesses in the way Lambert is ruling, its an eye sore for him really. He was raised as a king after all, Lambert wasnt.

Also Lambert liked his long hair, no way is he keeping it after being betrayed and killed!

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

tagged by @butchdiaz to do a 2024 fic roundup, muah! ily <3

apparently i wrote 10 fics and a total of 383,612 words what the fuck asdfghjkl my brain is so rotted

January

baby it's okay if we both end up afraid - 28k, mature, buddie & bathena, cruise ship disaster spec

Buck hadn’t forgotten how cold the ocean is. He hadn’t forgotten the bite of it or how the crest of a wave can feel like the edge of a knife or how the water stings and cuts and carves and settles in the bottom of your lungs and the pit of your stomach like a handful of broken glass. But he had forgotten the water’s weight. He had forgotten how heavy it is as it clings to you and refuses to let go, something he supposes he has in common with this powerful, almost undefeatable force of nature. Letting go has never been something he is good at, in any capacity, in any situation, always clinging clinging clinging like his very life depends on how well he can hold on to all the things that want him to release them. or, buck and bobby battle their past traumas in the middle of a shipwreck. eddie pines in the aftermath. and somehow, for all of them, love endures and overcomes.

February

you fill my head with you - 22k, mature, buddie, drunk confessions

And then everything winded down, their friends decided to turn in and head home. Him and Eddie were the last to leave, and he– He stumbled out of the bar right beside Eddie. He–Oh god, he threw himself all over Eddie. He flirted. He–he told Eddie that– Buck’s hand stills, the toothbrush lying on his tongue with dead weight, uncomfortable and somewhat annoying, but Buck can’t even think about that because he fucking told Eddie that he dreams about them kissing. What the fuck? What the actual, horrible, unholy fuck? Buck has to leave. He needs to find a deep, dark hole to climb inside. Bury himself so that he can never come out. He can never see Eddie again for as long as he lives and that’s such a terrifying, heartbreaking, impossible thought, but that’s the way it has to be. He told Eddie he dreams about them kissing. or, a night of drinking leads to buck confessing his feelings to eddie and they are both very stupid about it

April

the mouth is the thing that craves - 11k, explicit, buddie, cockwarming

Buck’s free hand comes up to Eddie’s face, fingertips brushing over Eddie’s mouth which is hanging open. Eddie isn’t sure when it started doing that but it is and his tongue twitches involuntarily when Buck slips the tips of his first three fingers past the row of Eddie’s bottom teeth. “Oh,” Buck murmurs, like he’s confirmed something to himself. “Yeah. Okay.” There’s no room in Eddie for anything that’s not grateful or warm or good, his heart spreading out wide in his chest, full and fat and working overtime as Buck smiles to himself, all small and lopsided and boyishly charming, and says, “You need something in your mouth, sweetheart? Need to hold me close, don’t you?”

or, eddie loves buck and he really loves buck's cock

June

except everything - 26k, explicit, buddie, fwb/getting high

Like most things with Eddie are, the regular sex is good. Fun. A fucking delight to be honest. Buck may be a bit lovesick and forced to hide needy whines like he is some dog trying not to be too cumbersome so his owner lets him stay, but he’s also more relaxed than he’s ever been, no matter the tension of his heavy love that only grows and grows and grows. It’s fine. Eddie bends Buck over the kitchen table and fucks him until he’s screaming, and it’s fine. Buck rides Eddie until he’s a babbling mess and his fingernails cut into Buck’s hip bones leaving marks Buck will trace later with a wretched wistfulness, and it’s fine. Eddie kisses Buck sweetly, finely, softly, as if that alone is enough, and it’s fine. Buck fingers Eddie until he comes all over himself, the sensation of his heartbeat basically in the palm of Buck’s hand, and it’s fine. It’s all so very fine. Buck is fine. or, buck and eddie become friends with benefits, get high, and confess their love in the stupidest and most endearing way possible.

August

i'm here with the door wide open - 24k, teen & up, buddie, post s6

Eddie eats and showers and puts on clothes. He goes to work, does his job, acts as fine as he can around his friends, attends therapy twice a week, and goes back home. Day after day after day. And it’s so fucking quiet. or, eddie copes with the absence of chris but also the presence of buck

cursed romantics//fataliatic collison - 16k, explicit, andrew blur/sam halse, post ending smut

Andrew just wants. He was afraid he wouldn’t remember how to without Eddie. All of Andrew’s wanting was always so intrinsically tied up in the pathways of Eddie’s veins, seemingly born and cradled in Eddie’s blood, held within him so tightly, Andrew thought it would die right along with him. It didn’t. Oh, how it didn’t. It burns brightly in him for Sam Halse, his want. It flows through him easier than anything, more intoxicating than any drug. or, after the ending of summer sons andrew and sam figure some things out and fuck nasty about it

October

sweet sunbursts of flesh pink magic - 5k, explicit, buddie, magic!buck

Buck’s magic has always been a bit volatile. Jittery. Fluctuating. A touch reckless. Messy and bright and loud. Maddie says that a person’s magic is supposed to match the person themselves, that the form it takes isn’t happenstance or random, that it’s a reflection of your purest self, an extension of your soul that you can manipulate. Safe to say, Buck’s never cared for that assessment. or, buck has magic and eddie gets doused with sex pollen

still the bone remembers, still it wants - 148k, explicit, buddie, s5 eddie & therapy

The thing is, wanting has always been easy. The thing is, wanting has always been so hard. or, eddie goes to therapy and learns how to want. buck helps.

November

death wish love - 15k, explicit, buddie, post 8x06

Eddie opening the door, casual and filled with a type of swagger Buck didn’t understand. Pantsless. Thighs on display. Flushed and sweaty in his thin button up. Buck isn’t sure why the memory of that image makes his throat go tight. It didn’t faze him all that much at the time because he had other things on his mind and was sad enough that a true act of divinity probably wouldn’t have gotten a reaction out of him. But now– Well, now Buck looks at Eddie. Bare legs and a hint of his thighs. That dark mark on the back of his right leg peeking out from the hem of his shorts. Hair mussed and a little damp, curling behind his ears. The image of the Eddie in front of him now and the Eddie in front of him last night flicker back and forth on top of each other like some kind of montage or old movie reel. And Buck feels…pink. Caught. Stomach all fizzy and turning. or, after getting dumped by tommy and going to eddie's, buck wakes up the next morning only to be pummeled by his hangover and his attraction to eddie

December

a ghost in my lungs, a ghost in my mouth - 84k, explicit, buddie, eddie and buck can see ghosts

Buck is soaked to the bone. Skin puffy. Neck and chest lacerated by the cruel touch of lightning, as if it’s still contained within him and not eager to let him go. His curls are matted. Eyes charged but also vacant, like he is looking through two planes of reality and can’t focus. Awful. Beautiful. Eddie wants him to go away. Eddie wants him to stay. Eddie wants to shout at him until he wakes up. Eddie wants to forget this horrifying, pale version of his best friend, the man he loves. Eddie wants to touch him, make him real and whole. Buck takes a single step forward and Eddie’s breath collapses in his chest. He thinks Maddie is saying something, his name maybe, but it’s so muffled and distorted, and it doesn’t matter, not when Buck with his sad sad eyes is opening his mouth and saying, “I’m trying.” or, in the aftermath of the lightning strike eddie is haunted by buck's ghost

tagging @spaceprincessem @shitouttabuck @try-set-me-on-fire @lemonzestywrites @chronicowboy @colonoscopys @devirnis @sibylsleaves @absolutelybifurious @spotsandsocks @queerdiazs @shyaudacity @elvensorceress @lonelychicago @bi-buckrights @bigfootsmom @honestlydarkprincess @hippolotamus and whoever else wants to do this!

[coldhndss]

Wedding blues p.1

Reo Mikage

@sailorstar9 (haven’t seen you in ages! + I always end up kinda changing the plots of requests i receive somehow)

Throughout her life, she had always assumed that the feeling of reliance on someone else was akin to the longing that comes with love. She was comfortable around him; he  made her happy, smile, and laugh.

He also made her sad, tear up, and sob.

“I’ve been seeing an old friend…” His voice rang through the speaker, hitting her ears like nails on a chalkboard. At first, she thought he might not mean what she was thinking. When she questioned him, he floated around the reason awkwardly.

She pushed for an answer, becoming more agitated. That was when he reciprocated her anger, calling her an idiot for not understanding him.

“I don’t want the ring.”

“Lose my number.”

“Call everyone and cancel tomorrow. I wasn’t planning on showing up anyway.”

His voice begun to feel like loose sound, and at some point he hung up.

She glanced over at the beautiful dress in front of her mirror. It dazzled in the light of the early morning sun, sequins and pearls refracting beautiful colours all over her room. Gently grasping the satin sleeve, it slipped out of her hand like a piece of silk, carrying her gaze towards the trail behind it. Falling to her knees, a rush of tears ran down her cheeks as she squeezed the skirt in her hands, pressing her face into it. She was a complete emotional wreck, not knowing what to even feel. Someone who had been with her for so much time, just picking up and leaving.

Her phone sounded from the bed where she had left it. Drowning in the melody of her sobs, she fell asleep as it rang out.

She awoke on the floor with the hem of the dress skirt clenched in her hands. Glancing in the mirror, she caught a glimpse of her tear stained face and puffy eyes.

It wasn’t that she loved him. But over time it began to feel like he understood her emotions, and she grew attached to him as time went on, unable to leave his side.

Though throughout all this, there was one person who remained by her side.

Slumping back down on her bed with her phone, she noticed a missed call and a few messages.

‘Just got reservations for this really nice restaurant by the sea.’

‘I know you and him are probably busy, but do you guys wanna come with?’

She stared at her screen blankly, the words slowly turning into mush as her vision blurred once more. Out of everyone, he’d always reach out to her, being the one person who made sure she was okay. He did things that her ex never even considered. With a few swipes, she dialled his number.

“You called back! What’s up?”

“Hey Reo…” Her voice was still coarse from all the sobbing.

“You don’t sound too good.. What’s wrong?”

“He cut me off..”

“Huh? What do you mean ‘cut me off?’”

Her shaky voice broke, sobs sounding through the phone. “He said he’s been seeing his old crush..”

“What!? What about tomorrow!?”

“We already told everyone… What do I do?”

A few seconds passed, and a sigh sounded through to her end of the call. “Look I can’t leave you crying in your room alone. Are you free later today?”

“..Yeah” She sniffed.

“Be ready by six, alright? And wipe those tears.” The warmth in his voice told her he was smiling.

Slipping on a simple dress, she did as much as she could to hide her breakdown with makeup.

Shutting the door to her apartment, she received a message from Reo letting her know he was waiting outside. Opening the door to his car as she’d done many times before, he greeted her with a smile, asking her if she felt any better.

In any case, breathing the fresh air outside her room would help her feel way better than staring at the dress for the rest of the day.

Upon arrival, he opened the door of her passenger seat, walking together into the restaurant. After a worker guided them to their table by a large window with a scenic view of the water, they were handed the menu to place their order.

He noticed her faint smile and distant expression, doing what he could to make sure she could feel better. He attempted to crack jokes here and there, mentioning things that he knew usually got a laugh out of her. By the end of the dinner, she seemed to have loosened up a little.

As the two of them left the restaurant, they walked back to his car together. She was expecting to be driven home immediately, but Reo had something else in mind. The two of them sat inside, and he placed his keys in the cupholder instead of starting up the car.

“Are you feeling okay?” He turned to face her. She nodded in response.

“So… what’s the plan for tomorrow?” He asked in a soft voice, treading carefully. She looked down at her hands, fidgeting with the ring on her finger before removing it. “To be honest with you..” Her eyes peered at the engraving of their initials inside the band. “I don’t know..”

She wound down the window and with an arm outstretched as far as she could manage, hurled the ring into the sea. “I guess I never did love him. Maybe I just get attached too easily.”

Slumping back into the seat, she turned to look at him. It was then when she began to wonder how she had overlooked his actions in the first place. Someone like him who paid so much attention to her, who was always there to listen to her worries. What kept him beside her for so long?

At this distance, he could see how red her eyes were, although she seemed to have covered up the evidence using makeup, still looking beautiful to him as always. With a deep breath, he reached out and took her hand in his right. Lacing his fingers into hers. He cupped over her hand with his left, rubbing her palm with his thumb.

“Reo..?” Her eyes widened, glistening with emotion.

“I’m here for you.. you know that, right?” His tone was gentle and his gaze upon her was tender. A warmth she hadn’t ever felt until now. It didn’t exactly come as a surprise; he had always been there for her, knowing when she was about to burst from stress and having a solution. Something no one had ever done for her before.

“Every time…” her voice hitched, a lump forming in her throat. “It’s always been you… You were always there, waiting for me…”

Slipping his fingers under hers, he lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss against her knuckles. “…and I don’t plan on leaving. Not today..” His voice softened as he looked up her, his gaze peering through his eyelashes. “And not tomorrow”.

[youknowwho-mustnotbenamed]

December 25 - Cozy | word count: 418 | @wolfstarmicrofic

One of Remus’ favorite things to do is curl up under a blanket by the fire with his current book. One of Sirius’ favorite things to do is turn into Padfoot and run in frenzied circles out in the snow before coming in and trying to cuddle up against Remus. Even his mannerisms are the same as if he were still a dog. Clamoring up onto the couch, flopping himself against Remus’ side, and burrowing his freezing cold nose against Remus’ side, somehow always managing to find the small slip of skin where his jumper has risen to press his nose against.

But even as he hears the door squeaking open, and Sirius’ familiar footsteps across the creaky floor, he doesn’t have it in him to reject Sirius. Not when he spent so long waiting to have this.

As predicted, Sirius comes slinking over, shimmying under the blanket and not-so-gently nudging the book from Remus’ lap so his head can rest there instead. His ice-cold skin is a brand against the warmth of Remus’, even permeating the thick wool of his jumper. Knowing what comes next, he removes one hand from the book to rest in Sirius’ hair, then slowly begins massaging his scalp, silky smooth locks twisting through his fingers.

“Have fun?”

Sirius hums. “I would rather be in here with you.” He nuzzles closer. “You’re so cozy.”

“Why don’t you then?”

“Sometimes it gets to be too much. Like how the wolf becomes more restless around the Full, you know? Padfoot gets restless if I don’t let him out enough.”

“Huh. I never thought about it that way.”

They lapse into comfortable silence. Remus isn’t sure he has ever been able to find that with anybody else. He always felt the urge to fill the silence with words lest they loose interest and leave him alone. But with Sirius, for some inexplicable reason, Remus feels comfortable with the silence, like it isn’t a sharp blade steadily cutting into him until a word is uttered to break it.

This is what he has been searching for his whole life. The thing he didn’t know he wanted so badly until he had it. To have somebody to hold you when things are tough without looking with pity or disgust. To have somebody to be there on the slow and quiet days. To have somebody willing to cozy up by the fire with nothing but your company as an excuse. To have domesticity. To have somebody. To have… love.

[daenysthedreamersblog]

SECRET OF US - VI

us.

that night you were talkin' false prophets and profits

they make in the margins of poetry sonnets

you never read up on it shame, could've learned something

Robert Bly on my nightstand, gifts from you, how ironic

masterlist // previous chapter // next chapter

summary: you promised him a date, a date without mistrust and contention...you should have never made that promise as you're dragged deeper towards an admission you can't face

pairings: modern!coriolanus snow x reader

warnings: MDNI! swearing, drinking, smut, oral (f receiving), fingering, p in v sex, unprotected sex (yk what hell ya)

notes: omg i meant to have this out friday but i rewrote the whole middle and with the holidays it set me back so much. legit spent 20min on my phone the whole past week

You don't dare tell Arachne or Clem as you swipe the lipgloss along your lips. You wished you could, wished your friends were helping you get ready, laughing about silly things. You frowned at your reflection, what were you so ashamed of, why were you hiding?

He finally bested you huh? Arachne's voice snaked through your head rattling a metaphorical tail. Don't be so surprised when he breaks your little heart. A small laugh. Or you break his.

Clemensia looked disappointed, He's using you. Soft hands landed on your shoulders. He's as selfish and manipulative as they come, let this go before you're in too far. Let this go before he looks too deep.

You sighed placing your head in your hands; no they couldn't know, not yet at least, not until you could figure out his intentions, or yours for that matter. There's a knock on your door and you slowly make your way over to it, to him.

"Hi." He looks so handsome in a well pressed button up and slick coat to ward away the lingering winter and you're sure he could take over the world looking like that. "These are for you." He holds out the bouquet of white roses.

You take them, backing up to allow him inside. "Thank you." You say digging through cabinets for a vase. 

"You...uh...You look nice." 

You smirk over at him cutting the stems, "Geez was that truly so difficult for you."

"No." He glared as you placed the roses in water.

"Do I make you nervous Snow?"

He scoffed, "Shut up let's go."

"Wow skip the pleasantries huh?" You joke sliding on heels, grabbing your own coat, and following him out. 

"You know me too well." But he helped you slip into your coat once the door was locked behind you, hands lingering too long in all the right places. 

You glanced over your shoulder at him, "Do I?" Because sometimes you felt like you barely knew him at all beneath hidden layers neither of you should dig up. He doesn't answer only tugs at your waist to keep you walking. "Did you call an Uber?"

"No." His jaw ticked as cold air blew your hair back. He walked a few steps forward to the sleek black car and pulled the door open for you. "Get in." He said tightly before you could even ask and got in quickly behind you. You raised a brow, "Don't even say it."

You shoved it all down, relaxing into the car's leather seat. "I was just gunna ask where we're going."

He turned his head away to hide the little grin, "No you weren't." The car is filled with silence, the slight tapping of your foot against the car floor the only annoying noise. "Fine. Ask."

"The car?"

He sighed, "The Plinth's."

"I thought..." You chewed on your cheek knowing this was not the subject to be breeched right now. "Never mind." Later, you'd ask later, or never you weren't sure when they were involved if you even wanted to know truly. He had become so upset when you had thrown their names back at him, and he obviously hadn't spent time with them during the holidays. You tuck it away readjusting yourself into the seat as you drove towards your date. You wanted to laugh at how ridiculous this all was; Coriolanus Snow taking you out on some date. "Hey, since we agreed on the no feuding and armor...let's try to be...nice to one another." It was a rule you're sure neither one of you could stick to.

"No snide remarks? No japes?" He came closer until his leg pressed into yours.

You nodded, "No glaring."

Two fingers tilt your chin up towards his face, "My sword is at your feet." His lips brush against yours. Your breath halts in your lungs waiting on bated breath for his kiss, "Will you surrender yours?" He whispers into your mouth his fingers running up your thigh, you let him, let him inch ever closer to the heat pulsing out of you.

Your rigid as his finger dip into your inner thigh feeling them part involuntarily. Yes. You want to say, want him to sprawl you over these leather seats to take you right here, right now. He smiles along your lips knowing it all too well; it was a trick to have you admit defeat all the same, to see if you were sticking true to your word about trying to be open to him. You pull back, "That's a tall ask."

"I'm a tall man." You glare at the him and his laughter is felt deep within your body. His fingers disappear under the hem of your dress, "There she is, never too far. I adore your glare, your claws, kitten." With the faintest feather light touch the pad of his finger ghost over the front of your underwear as you take in a sharp breath from his mouth. "Come on," His drags his knuckles up until the push gently into your clit. "Don't you want me to touch you? To make the driver take us back to my place while I make you whimper out my name from that wicked mouth."

You think you just might say anything, do anything to make him keep touching you, it had been your ask after all and you did want it, want him. But to be nice and to give over to him completely were two different things and you couldn't trust him; his sword may be down but he could just as easily take a hidden dagger to your back. You jut your bottom lip out to try and capture his, the submission a pathetic breath away when theres a knock on the window.

He chuckles slowly peeling his hand away, nearly eliciting a whine from your throat. You hated how badly you wanted him to touch you, hated how you wanted to scream his name out of these tinted windows, hated that he wouldn't give you that just yet, hated that he was making you work for it. He moves to open the door helping you outside into cool air that is welcomed against feverish skin. You're out of it, disoriented, you barely recognize where you're going until the bright cat walk comes into view. You're finally able to make sense enough of it to put the pieces together.

"Tigris." You say out loud before turning to look up at him. "She was launching a new line, this is her show." Something like a proud smile fights its way across his face as he nods; you return it. "Let's go find our seats then."

It's beautiful, filled with every color imaginable, bright fabrics of animal print you never knew even existed and feathers, tons of feathers in heavily powdered tall neon wigs. You glance over at him, an expression of comfort, but also grief written across his features as he watches the models pass. You want to reach out, grab his hand, but you can only cradle your palms in your lap.

That was the issue wasn't it? You had always promised to never let anyone in too close, to never let your guard down. It would only distract you, deter you from your goals...well your father's goals for you. So how could you ever let him in, how could you ever yield to the very man you had sworn to gut, who had made his own promise to do the same. It had always been anger, and hatred and competition. It had always been a game, and this final round would truly determine who wins.

You picked at your nails. There were new memories, new feelings; joy and sympathy and curiosity for him, with him. This passionate desire was the embodiment of all of those loathsome feelings coming through in a new way, there was no other explanation.

You glanced over at him as he clapped for the last model, you had to win, there was no other way to keep your heart safe. This passionate desire was the embodiment of all of those loathsome feelings coming through in a new way, there was no saner explanation.

"Come on," He motioned for you to take his arm. He led you away towards back stage where his cousin stood.

Her eyes brightened when she saw him. "Coryo!" She rushed over cupping his face before hugging him tightly. "I'm so glad you came."

He hugged her back. "Wouldn't miss it for the world." He pulled away from her slightly revealing you, "I want you to meet someone."

She took you in whatever joy she found in her cousin was gone as she recognized you no doubt. You held out your hand and introduced yourself anyways, "It was a wonderful show."

"Thank you." She shook your hand eyes confused as she looked to Coriolanus.

You took your hand back, "We went to school together."

She smiled, it was fake. "Yes, yes now that's where I've seen you before."

You didn't feel like explaining, he could do that later when you weren't around. "You know that play I'm in." She nodded at him while he looked at you, "She's in it with me as well it's how we became...friends."

"I can't wait to see it." She cups his face again with one gentle hand. "We're having a little after party at some shitty dive bar do you guys want to join?"

The two of you share a look before Coriolanus takes your hand shrugging. "Sure it will be better than the place I picked out."

It was everything a fancy restaurant was not; loud and gaudy, cheap and sticky, neon beer signs littering the back wall, and filled with older couples and too young college students who's fakes would never get them in anywhere else. You're overdressed, Coriolanus is too, but you didn't care, not as you carry two drinks to the pool table where he's breaking. 

"This is supposed to be a date kitten." He takes his drink from you as you grab the pool stick.

"I'm being nice."

He scoffs, "That's a first."

You roll your eyes, "Never mind then." He grabs the middle of the stick to keep you rooted urging you to continue. "That truce lasted shorter than the first one." You chuckle staring up at him, "What was the other place?"

"It was stuffy and overrated." He lets go laughing slightly. You walk around the table, "I should have known better to go to some overly priced restaurant with tiny portions that reeks of your father." He leans against the table watching you line up the cue ball. "You hate that stuff."

You knock a stripe in the hole and stand up straight. "I was being immature about all of that, there's some stuff I do enjoy." You did hate the reminder of your father, but it was a resentment you needed to face or let go.

He feigns shock, "Admitting immaturity? Am I in an alternate universe."

You shake your head to yourself and walk back around towards him holding out the stick for him. "I'm on a date with you so probably."

He wraps his hand around it, but uses it to pull you closer, "Are you enjoying it?"

"We'll see." You smile up at him biting back the honest answer. It felt nice, the banter without the hatred behind it, knowing he could kiss you, you could kiss him. The air felt lighter, sweeter, like the world had opened up to opportunities you never knew existed. You feel like your tucked away from reality until your eyes meet Tigris across the room and you recognize the worry for her cousin, you didn't blame her, she knew you, she knew him, and no amount of watered down beer would hide that.

Coriolanus takes the stick to walk around the table. "Answer me after I've beat you in pool."

"Oh please."

He does beat you, at least at that round. He orders food while you set up the next round sipping on your first drink from the night. You watch him over the table, lining up to hit the cue ball into the triangle of multicolored balls, and you're not nervous. You used to drown the anxiety in alcohol at the mere thought of being around him, using it as a crutch to excuse thoughts you didn't want to examine. 

"Do you want another?" He points the tip of his stick at your empty drink.

You shake your head, the small smile on your lips. "Maybe a soda." He raises his eyebrow at you as he hands the stick off to you. You weren't nervous anymore. You didn't want the excuses. You liked his company. You liked kissing him. It didn't need to be more complicated than that. Maybe it didn't need to be about winning or losing.

"Tell me something real about you." You sink three solids into holes before looking up at him.

"I ate paste as a child." He shrugged.

"How did it taste."

He smirked, "Pasty." He misses and the cue ball ends up in the corner hole. "Your turn."

"I know it's not a real animal." You blush, "But I love dragons, and I want one desperately."

"A fantasy creature?" He laughed at you. You whacked him, but he caught your wrist. "It's cute."

You scoff, "The dragons would disagree. They are fierce and vicious and-!"

He smiles, blue eyes alight with hidden joy. "Just like you." 

You're kissing him before you can think, soft lips and soft hands roaming bodies as you tug each other closer, as you let the dive bar disappear into the void. Your heart speeds up as his tongue dips into your mouth and every nerve ignites under his touch. 

Someone clears their throat behind you; Tigris. "I'm heading home it's been a long day." She eyes the pair of you. "I'll call you tomorrow Coryo." To discuss you no doubt, you find yourself sinking away.

He hugs her, "It really was a great show."

"What's the name of the line?" You ask to show interest, so maybe she could see some semblance of care inside of you, that you weren't the evil villain in his story. The fact that you did care what she thought of you had to mean something?

She smiled for real this time. "The Capitol." She walks away soon after leaving you two alone as some sad country song floats through the weary speakers.

"If only they could see us now." He cuts through it all turning your attention back to the game.

"See you losing." You sink another ball in when the thought crosses. "Do you...um...do you still speak to..."

"Livia?" He finishes for you grabbing the pool stick from your hands. "No, well...not like that." You continue to watch him. "She lives in the city, and we all went to school together, I run into her a lot." The striped ball he was going for bounces off the wall and misses the hole by a few inches. He sighed, "I mean...not typically, no I don't see her...like that."

You tightly smile. "It's fine, Snow. Just because we're on a date doesn't mean we are dating." You're lying. You don't want him to see Livia, see anyone for that matter, but you can't say that, can't reveal that part of yourself to him.

"Guess so."

You win the next round, but he wins the one after that. You dance to shitty music coming from the live band playing inside the bar. You even jump on stage to join in, singing along to the only song you knew they were performing while he records you making a fool of yourself. It's carefree, and fun, and plain stupid. "Delete that!" You shout at him as he pulls you from the stage wrapping his arms around your waist as the song slides into a slower one. 

"Never." He chuckled into you ear. "Was this a better time than overpriced ice cubes?"

You lay your head against his chest. "Of course." You glance up at him, "Not us."

"Not us," His voice is too soft as he says it has you spilling your unguarded guts.

"But any time with you would have been a good one."

He stares down at you sidelong the corner of his mouth turning up, "There is a heart inside of you yet, my fire breathing kitten." You roll your eyes, but don't bite back. Instead you let his hand linger to the bottom of your back, "Let's get out of here."

You chew the inside of your cheek the whole time he guides you back out into the real world, back into that black car. He doesn't take the route back to your apartment, instead it takes you towards a different side of the same town.

His side.

"Do you remember that night?" He asked watching the buildings glide by the tinted windows. The night of the party, the night he fought that man and brought you back to his apartment.

You remembered him cleaning your face, putting you to sleep in his bed, a soft finger running down your cheek. "Not really." You force yourself to break the tension coiling in your gut. "I remember you knocking me over to fight that man."

"You shouldn't have ran." It not cruel, or condescending. It was simply a fact he believed.

You leaned in close, "You shouldn't have been using me to make Livia jealous then."

"I didn't use you to make Livia jealous." His hand lands on your thigh as he breaths it back into your face. "I used Livia to make you jealous."

Your eyes widened, but then you squeeze them shut shaking your head trying to understand this new information. "But that-that means..."

The car came to a halt and suddenly he's ushering you outside into the wind whipping frigid air. He leads you into his apartment building towards the elevator to head up to his floor, you watch his fingers hit the button for the top. You glance over at him, "They're the floor below me." He answers the questions in your eyes.  

You won't allow yourself to push him any further regarding the Plinths, not as the elevator dings to let you out onto his floor. His apartment pent house was too dark to make out many details, but it was simple, not too many colors or design for his lonely one person home. You didn't remember taking in much detail the last time you were here besides the clean white countertops and soft comforter. He flicked on the lights letting you take it all in; the spacious room, the floor to ceiling windows, the long black couch in front of a flat screen hanging on the wall. "I know you didn't decorate this place." You look over at him watching you, "You don't have the taste."

"What does that say about you?" He prowled towards you.

"I am an exception and a sign of good judgment and-!" You squeal as he picks you up and throws you over his shoulder. "Coriolanus Snow!" It's not strong at all as you laugh towards the end.

He walks down a dark hall and into an even darker room before you're falling backwards into softness; his bed. "You're a pest is what you are, and a sure sign of poor judgement." 

"How so?" He climbs over your body, hands grabbing onto your waist. The light from the hallway spills into the room illuminating the side of him.

His lips hover over your neck, linger along your jaw as you barely feel the brush of his lips on your skin. "Cruel, wicked curse of mine." You need to stop him, ask him what he means because he had said that before about you but this time he wasn't obliterated. His drags his teeth along your jaw and you forget all about it, forget about everything.

He rewrites history as he kisses down your neck, tongue dragging across your carotid, lingering to feel the increase in your pulse. He smiles against the sharp intake of breath as his hand slides the strap of your dress off of your shoulder. You're happy you didn't drink, happy you could feel every nerve fraying under his touch, happy you'll remember every groove of him. He moves his head upward until his lips connect with yours and you're tracing the fabric of his shirt as his tongue delved into your mouth, slowly, exploratory, running over teeth, sucking on your bottom lip as your knees come up around him. "Coriolanus." You breathed.

He groaned pressing his forehead into yours, "Don't say it like that." He kisses your bottom lip palming your breast. "I'm holding on by a thread."

You cup his face, "Don't hold back." You brush a kiss along his jaw, "Please."

It snaps and he's slithering down your body, pushing your dress up around your waist as he yanks your underwear off. He pauses, on his knees in front of you as he stares down at your bare cunt, as he admires it. "All of this," His eyelids are hooded with lust as he drags his fingers through your soaked folds. "Just from kissing me." He pushes his fingers inside and you moan out into his bedroom. He shoves your thigh down as he curls his fingers inside of you rubbing against a sweet spot that has you fisting his sheets. "All for me." He growls down at you composure long forgotten into the past.

"Fuck," You hiss out as he dips down and runs his tongue along your clit. God fucking dammit you hated him for being so good at this as his tongue swirls around your clit, you hated yourself more for waiting so long to indulge in him, let him indulge in you. His fingers keep pumping in and out of you as his mouth devours your clit making you see stars behind your squeezed eyes. 

You're panting, you're grabbing onto his hair, you're pushing your hips up into his face more as he presses down hard, moving his hand faster. You bite down on your cheek as the orgasm washes over you with the tiniest whimper slipping through gritted teeth. He's still going, lapping you up, running his tongue along your entrance like a man starved. When you finally think you've had enough he pulls back and stands up. 

You don't even ask as you hear his belt come off, the rustle of clothing falling to the ground. He's crawling back over you, reaching behind your back to unzip your dress. He helps you tug it over your head until you're both bare, both equals.

"This okay?" He asks running his hand along your rib, thumb brushing the side of your breast.

"Yes." You whisper.

His hand shifts, thumb passing over your perked nipple. "What do you want?" He rolls your nipple between fingers kneading your breast. "What do you want kitten?"

You, Coriolanus, you.

But instead you whisper, "Fuck me."

Your head hits his pillows as his hand moves between your bodies, as he lines himself up with your wet entrance. You knew there was never any coming back from this, so you wrap your hands around his sides as he pushes inside of you.

You gasp into his mouth as he slowly pushed in deeper and deeper, your cunt throbbing around every glorious inch of him, until he finally stops, until he's buried inside of you. He's still for a moment, forehead against yours and he takes a breath like he's trying to memorize the shape of you. 

Then he pulls back to slam back into you again and again and again until he's moving at a pace that has you moaning pathetically for him. You drag your nails down his back as legs wrap around him tighter to pull him even deeper. He dips down sucking and biting along your neck as he thrust in and out of you, as you beg him for more, as he takes you to planes you'd never thought you'd see. You tilt your hips, letting his cock slide along a delicious spot. "Is it as good as you imagined?" He chuckles against your neck.

"I di-didn't."

"Don't lie." He sinks his teeth into your neck, lapping up the small wound. "I know you touched yourself to wet dreams of me."

You try to look at him as your face burns. "How do you know?"

He smirks, "Because I did it too." You moan loudly as his fingers find your clit, as he presses down while he pounds into you. "Cum for me kitten." He pants into your ear, "Cum for me baby girl."

You scream his name as you orgasm, as your body clamps down around him in one final blow of pleasure. Your head is half sideways in his pillows, feet grasping for purchase in sheets and skin, whining out for him. He cums soon after, stuttering slightly before spilling inside of you with a hard thrust.

He stayed seated inside you, head resting in the nap of your neck while you mindlessly run fingers through his hair. You search for regret, you search for apprehension, but you just feel content bliss.

You stare up at the ceiling, "You said that before." His head perks up at the sound of your voice. "That night you showed up wasted. You said 'cruel, wicked curse of mine.'"

"Oh."

"What does it mean?" You wince as he pulls out of you suddenly extremely empty without him there.

He rolls to his side next to you, "It doesn't matter."

"Why?" You glance up at him propped up onto his elbow.

"Because it doesn't." He pushes stray hair off your face. "I hated that I thought of you so often; I viewed it as a horrible curse that plagued my mind." He tucked a piece behind your ear, "But maybe it's not."

He sat up and moved off the bed, so you sat up as well. "When will you know?"

He shrugged as he picked up his clothes, "When does anyone know."

You get cleaned up, slipping on one of his t-shirts for bed and meandering around his room snooping when you know you shouldn't. You go to his desk the very same book you had been reading sitting there open; highlighted and annotated with various colors and scribbled words. The smile comes involuntarily as you trace his handwriting. It falls as quickly as it came as the picture comes in sight again. You pick up the small frame on his desk; a picture of him and Sejanus from school. You trace his face, the ambition deep in his eyes even then. "Curiosity kitten." You jump scrambling to put the frame back whirling on him standing in the doorway. He chuckles walking forward, "It's fine. It's just a picture."

"Do you miss him?" The question slips out of loose lips.

He eyed the picture. "Of course."

"Can I ask?" You voice was barely audible. "What happened that night?" You were ready for him to dismiss you, yell even, change the subject away from the death of his friend. He took in a breath before he began speaking.

"It was my fault. We snuck out, drunk after a graduation party, had a run in with one of Sejanus's old buddies from where he used to live. I started spewing out bullshit, one thing led to another and it turned into a big fight. He-Marcus knocked me out and when I woke up Sejanus was dead." He sniffed, "They tried to press charges but Marcus ran when they went after him." His fingers traced down the skin of your arm. "I'm not sure if they blamed me, but I blamed myself, sent myself away to military camp for some form of punishment, but uh..." He paused and you wanted him to stop because you knew it was hard, you didn't want to hear how badly his world had broken. "He wanted me back, said I was like a son to him too and they couldn't lose another one. They payed for this," He waved around to the dark room. "The car, my school, it was supposed to be..."

"Coryo." You squeezed back the tears. "I-I'm so sorry. I didn't...I'm sorry. It's not your fault." He didn't answer, he didn't believe you. "I wish..."

He darkly chuckled. "That you could have been there for me? You hated me." He sighed, "I've made my peace with it, no use trying to change it."

"I'm sorry." You whisper even if it didn't matter. "I've been taking all my anger for him, my father, out on you." You stare up at him, "It's blinded me for too long."

He doesn't say anything back, just tugs you back towards his bed to crawl under the blankets together. He's probably heard it all when it comes to Sejanus's death so you don't bother with over flowered sympathies, instead you tuck yourself into his chest and let his arms hold onto you tight. "Your question." Your ears perked up, heart pounding. "This isn't a game, you're not a game to me." You want to feel relief, but after everything you just feel more confused, by him, by yourself. "What did you think of it?" He mumbled into your hair and you're not sure what he's talking about until he adds, "The book."

You smile against his skin, "It was a bit pretentious." You pull back to peek up at him, "Why are you reading it again?"

He smirked to himself running a hand down your spine like you were a novel as well, "Boredom but now I must understand your analysis of pretentious."

Perhaps winning wasn't needed, maybe this was enough for you, or maybe that meant you were already losing.

next chapter coming soon!!

[foreststarflaime]

I became fixated on Sephiorth’s hair while doing my own. Will you share your Sephiorth hair headcanons with me?

It would be my pleasure!

When he was young and in the labs, Sephiroth had no say over his hair. Hojo always made sure it was kept cut short, if not entirely shaved, for convenience—he didn’t want to have to be constantly moving it away while he was operating/working and constantly be having to clean up shed strands of it.

Closer to the time of First Soldier, Hojo is ordered to ensure it grows out a little, so he’ll look better for PR. Sephiroth accepts the change as neutrally as every other thing out of his control in his life at first, but upon further inspection of his emotions he finds that he very much likes it. It’s so soft, softer than anything he’s felt before, and the color—he loves the color! It’s like the moon, or the seemingly wondrously infinite amount of stars that hang in the sky above Rhadore, where he sees them first. Lucia even remarks one time that his bangs make him look like his mother. He could have died right there with delight.

He starts letting it grow even longer—he likes how it looks, and the longer it is the more he is reminded that he is not as controlled by Hojo anymore. It’s a little act of defiance made physical, him making a choice for himself. Genesis and Angeal encourage this greatly once they discover at least the ‘making a choice for himself’ part, even if he doesn’t let them in on the true depth of Hojo’s cruelty. He keeps growing it longer and longer because, well…

Genesis continued to hold his hair back, running his hands through it soothingly ever so often, as Sephiroth alternated between breathing unevenly over the toilet and nearly turning his insides inside-out. At some point, Genesis began braiding the strands together, murmuring something Sephiroth didn’t have the presence of mind to decipher. The fingers against his scalp felt wonderful. He resolved never to cut his hair again if its longer length encouraged this sort of attention.

Valued Presence by me

Because he is a cat begging for attention by putting himself noticeably in the way. He also discovers that he can tilt his head to hide his face behind his longer bangs when he wants to, giving him slightly more privacy than previously—and he’ll take all he can get. Also, he looked in the mirror once while tying up his hair and jumped a little because the face staring back at him was his mother’s. Slightly different in the details, sure, but he looked so much like her. That was one of the rare times he found himself crying.

He is allowed to keep his hair at its longer length because the public seems to love it, and also it opens up plenty of marketing deals with hair product companies. Sephiroth dislikes the further press, but he tolerates it because it ensures Hojo is not allowed to take away something Sephiroth has become so attached to. Plus, he’s good enough at fighting now that it doesn’t post too much of a risk in combat—he moves too quickly for any opponent to have the chance to grab onto it, and even if they did they would soon find themselves lacking a hand or two. It’s more than worth the slight risk, he thinks.

Genesis and Angeal are the only people he allows to touch his hair (since team Glenn is long gone…Zack eventually earns the privilege, but only after he calms down). Actually, it’s strange…when anyone else tries to touch it, even when Sephiroth is facing away and seemingly unaware, his hair seems to move out of the way of whatever creepy fan is trying to lay hands on it. Like a breeze brushed it aside at just the right time, except…the wind that day was pretty much nonexistent? And blowing the other direction whenever it did exist? Weird. Almost as if it moved by itself.

Genesis used to have long hair, and he secretly misses it a little. Not enough to grow it back, but he does. He loves playing with/taking care of Seph’s partially because of this, and Sephiroth happily obliges him. He practically melts when he gets his hair brushed (does he purr? Probably), and Genesis is wonderfully skilled at complicated braids. The more bored and/or sentimental Genesis is feeling, the more braids appear in Sephiroth’s hair.

Since he helps Sephiroth with his hair so much, Genesis has discovered some…rather odd things about it. It’s unnaturally shiny, sometimes seeming to keep its silvery glow even for a few minutes after Sephiroth has come away from a light source, especially that of the stars/moon. It doesn’t glow quite as bright as his eyes, but it’s still noticeable to the enhanced eye. It is also noticeably harder to cut than normal human hair—it’s more like clipping fingernails to trim the ends of his hair.

His hair seems grey more often than silver after Genesis leaves. It’s messy and unkempt. He finds he has much less energy to take care of it when every brush of his own hair reminds him of what he’s lost.

After Nibelheim, his hair takes on an almost purplish-grey sheen, marking him even more with Jenova’s heritage. The moving on its own thing happens much more often and noticeably now—it sways dramatically when there is no breeze, and curls towards Cloud as if it were threatening to wrap around him.

[mshinemuscat]

Hiii! Could you write for whb Satan x afab!reader where reader somehow died and go to heaven pls lol 😭

Coming back to hell, despite being an angel they still love Satan and lust for him, even be more clingy?🧍‍♀️

(i hope you accept this request and i'm sorry if i make u uncomfortable, pls lemme know even if you reject this request, luv ya) :')

quick write before i take my finals lol!

(p.s - no need to worry about weird requests, i don’t mind creative writing ideas)

follows and reblogs appreciated!

ever since you’ve become an angel, you’ve been lusting over satan like crazy!

seriously! you miss his nice voice, long hair, pretty face and basically every thing! you’ve been trying to sneak into hell, but those wings of yours keep giving you up! plus that halo is a little bit too bright to go sneaking in at night…

so, you did what you had to do! you’d rather not tell satan how you even got through the gates of hell… but! a win is a win, so you get to see your lovely demon!

as you run through the streets, receiving tons and tons of weird looks by the locals, you finally reach the bar! he should be there right?

you burst through the door and!

you watch as his eyes burst opening, realizing that you’re back now! you rush over to him, hugging satan tightly. you wrap your wings around him, pressing your head between his neck. he’s still the same as ever! you gently suckle on his neck, leaving small marks as you make your way up to his cheek. kissing him softly before going in again! a crowd surrounds the two of, cheering you two on!

maybe you’ll get a room… just for the two of you?

hi if you thought this was nsfw under the cut than uhhhhhh

holy i need to catch up with requests haha sorry (.-.)b

anyways writing for whb is always so chill, but I haven’t played in so long so like haha umm okay bye another drop this week I swear on @rensukepie life

[campbyler]

why choose to do two parts of a chapter instead of just two separate ones? like doing 10.1 and 10.2 instead of just having 10.2 be chapter 11 instead (sorry if that makes no sense)

i think what anon meant was why didnt you make 10.2 a separate chapter thematically or literature-ally (? lol) instead of just physically? so like... 9.1 could have been called 'are we going somewhere?' and finished with that gorge cliffhanger of mike saying he's gonna teach will to drive. and then chapter 9 part 2 could actually have been chapter 10 both physically and from a literary point of view - if this was a published book, it would have been the actual next chapter. so 9.2 would instead become Chapter 10: I've Got You Baby (or some other title based on lyrics etc)

basically, once you realised the word count was taking you too far, they're wondering why you didn't split the events of the fic into more chapters than you originally have planned. perhaps is there a reason you are attached to a certain amount of chapters? otherwise, i think it would have still made sense for the drive date chapter and the bonfire night chapter to be split into two chaps each - many pro writers split chapters this way even when scenes in a single event are occurring.

of course its the writers' discretion to split chapters where they feel it fits, but i agree with anon that the ending of each half chapter makes a lot of sense as the ending of an actual chapter thematically!

i hope this makes sense haha

hello!! yes what you’re saying makes sense, and we appreciate the perspective!!

i think we did it the way we did for two main reasons — one, this is not a published book, so i do feel like it’s a little bit different since we have the liberty of doing whatever we want rather than being bound to any traditional rules. the second is that the chapters alternate povs, and it was important for all of 9 to be in will’s pov and all of 10 to be in mike’s pov because they’re the realization chapters.

to that point, i don’t agree with the notion that the ending of each half chapter is what makes sense as the thematic ending of the chapter. the themes of chapters 9 and 10 are Realizations. the point of ch09 is literally to get will to his realization — are we going somewhere? is a double meaning because they’re physically going somewhere and emotionally going somewhere. so while the mustang was a big focus in ch09, it was used as a vehicle (teehee) to give will the last push he needed to admit to himself how he feels. mike’s vulnerability in part i resolved a lot of will’s longstanding issues with mike, and the driving lesson’s purpose was to show how much they trust each other: mike trusts will with his car, and will trusts mike to be there for him, and mike being there for him is Truly the One Thing that will wasn’t sure about until ch09. all of these things needed to happen in the same chapter to contextualize that realization!

for 10, the focus is still on realizations — it’s also mike actually admitting to himself that he likes will, yes, but it’s also very much about that realization at the end that will needs to be the one to vocalize his feelings! whereas 9 spends the whole chapter justifying actions to get to the feelings realization, 10 starts with it and then spends the entire chapter trying to justify feelings he is already aware of. it was still important for these to be in the same chapter because it’s all completely connected!!

that said, because word count was really the only obstacle we had, the split chapters are two halves of a whole rather than being two distinct chapters. as we’ve said, this decision was done to benefit all of us — me and suni for writing purposes and being able to get chapters out sooner/avoid as much burn out as possible, and readers for not reading 50-60k chapters in one sitting. we already have a lot of talk about how long the chapters are, and we are both aware that we could probably cut certain scenes or events out, but we also are very adamant about maintaining a pace that feels realistic and makes sense, which usually leads to those higher word counts 😙 if we were to ever convert this into a published book (which we have no plans to), there would be a loooot to cut and we recognize that!! so shout out to the local ao3 for enabling our specific breed of insanity 🤸

[roomwithanopenfire]

2024 Writing Round Up

Happy last day of 2024!! I’ve been loving seeing everyone’s writing and art and doll round ups making their way around, but I waited until the very last second because I posted chapters of fic today ahaha

Thanks for tagging me: @run-for-chamo-miles @drowninginships, @monbons @emeryhall @confused-bi-queer

@rimeswithpurple @nausikaaa @prettygoododds @artsyunderstudy @noblecorgi

@alexalexinii @ileadacharmedlife and @best--dress

Rest of the post is under the cut because it is so long. 

FIC’S I’VE POSTED

First, I’ve posted 28 fics this year! 24 for them for Carry On, and 4 of them for Stranger Things. (One of the Stranger Things ones was technically posted last year, but I posted the majority of it this year, so I’m counting it for 2024.) 21 of these fics were for the Carry On Countdown. 2 of those fics are long completed multichapter projects, and 1 is a long uncompleted multichapter project.

According to AO3, I’ve posted 219,532 words this year, but we can subtract about 14.8k from that because AO3 counts work totals based on date updated and I posted the first 2 chapters of No Sweeter Drug in 2023 (so it’s actually 204,704) . This brings my total words on ao3 up to 288,701, so you can see how I really went crazy this year.

No Sweeter Drug (than just giving you my love) - 60k, Stranger Things, Nancy/Robin. Nancy and Robin had a whirlwind summer romance before their sophomore year, but Nancy left her behind, because Nancy Wheeler doesn’t date girls. But after the Upside Down, Nancy finds herself questioning who she even is. And she has to come to terms with her feelings for one Robin Buckley. This is the first stranger things fic I ever posted and I loved writing it. Seriously, I had so much fun with this fic. I’m pretty sure some of my best prose is in this one.

Proof of Life - 80k, Carry On, Simon/Baz. Vampires attacked Watford and Baz was Turned, but this time Natasha Pitch lived. What would Baz’s life be like growing up with his mother? How would Natasha feel about her son’s… condition? And what happens when you throw the Mage’s Heir into the mix? Omggg I had the best time with this fic. I’d been working on this for so long, it was absolutely insane to finally start posting it in March of this year. Thanks to @demadogs for betaing this and hyping me up so much, this fic wouldn’t be half as good without her. Also I got to join the fandom more when I started posting this fic, and I loved meeting all of you so much <3

Just Come Along - 8k, Stranger Things, Steve/Eddie. Steve’s estranged grandfather dies, and he’s the only one in his family who cares enough to make the trip. Eddie, despite barely being friends with Steve, agrees to come with. Along the way, secrets are shared, memories are made, and Eddie and Steve become closer than ever before… I wrote this for the Steddie Summer Exchange and it was my first time doing a fandom event! I had so much fun!!

The Way We Are - WIP, 11k, Carry On, Simon/Baz. Baz and Simon meet in a coffee shop not knowing that one of them is a vampire and the other a vampire hunter. After a tense encounter, both of them are left with questions about who they are and their morality. And as if that’s not enough, neither of them can stop thinking about the other… My COBB fic with @alexalexinii!! This is the only WIP I have to carry over into the new year, and I’m hoping to finish it up soon. I’m literally obsessed with the themes I have in this fic and I want to get them right.

i want an icee and a nice girl to date - 5k, Stranger Things, Robin/Nancy. Nancy doesn't know why Robin in her 8am class gets on her nerves. Maybe it's because she talks too much for so early in the morning. Maybe it's because she didn't seem appreciative of Nancy sharing her textbook with her. Or maybe there's no good reason at all. Eddie thinks Nancy's only two options are to either become enemies with Robin or fall in love with her. Nancy thinks Eddie's full of shit. But when she ends up in a dark movie theater with Robin, Nancy starts to see her in a new way… My fic for the Stranger Things Sapphic Big Bang with @ddoonnccnn !! I loved this little college AU and the art for it is ADORABLE (seriously, click on the fic just to look at the art, trust)

we can go forever - 3k, Stranger Things, Robin/Nancy. “I came from the ocean,” she said, like she was sharing a great secret. “That’s where I live.” 12-year-old Nancy does not believe her. There's no way that this girl is actually some sort of creature... right? Gift fic for @sweetronancer !! Percy ily and I wish you the bestest new year ever <333

What to Bring to An Abandoned Planet - 12k, Carry On, Multi (Simon/Baz, Penny/Shep and like a lot of friendships) Agatha, Baz, and Trixie are a small yet mighty group of space pirates who take down a transporter ship that holds Penelope, Shepard, and Simon on their way to relocating to a new planet. But once Agatha’s mighty ship—the SC Comet—falls way to space debris, the six of them have to learn to work together to survive on an uninhabited planet. I wrote this for @agni-ashes for the Secret Snowflake Exchange and I had wayyyy too much fun with this AU.

And then I wrote all 30 prompts for the Carry On Countdown!! This ended up being 21 fics, but here are a few of my favorites.

Agatha Wellbelove and the Six Sigils - 10k, Agatha gen fic. When Agatha ends up in a study in the White Chapel, she doesn’t think it’s going to change her life forever. When she finds a bag of coins with magickal sigils on them, she certainly doesn’t think it’s going to mean anything important to her. But when she starts having visions of the future… Well, she’s got to do something about it. I love Agatha actually. I find her character so fascinating. I had so much fun exploring her here, and I hope to write more about her in the future!

Some Bright Morning - 3k, Lucy & Simon. Lucy’s baby is the Chosen One. What does that mean? Why is he taking Lucy’s magic? What will Davy do to a child like that? Not feeling safe and not knowing what to do, Lucy turns to an old friend. I loved writing this fic so much!

i wanna go outside but i’m terrified it might be cold or too hot or too radioactive - 1.6k, Simon/Baz. Simon and Baz are the only ones left at Watford during Christmas break. Therefore, when the nuclear apocalypse hits, they are trapped in a bunker with only each other as company. Will they become friends or kill each other? Only time will tell… This was SO much fun to write. I think I had the most fun with this one out of all the Countdown fics.

I’m not going to link anymore, but I also wrote a GBBO au, a Penny turns into a vampire fic, a Mordelia POV fic that I actually LOVE, a short and sad Fiona/Ebb fic, a couple Fiona & small Baz fics, a 2nd person POV humdrum fic, and several other ones that I’m really proud off. I can’t believe I was able to finish the entire countdown, I’m so proud of myself!!

WORDS I’VE WRITTEN

I’ve also kept track of how many words I wrote monthly this year! I only started using a spreadsheet to keep track in mid-March, so the early months are retroactive and are probably underestimated compared to the middle ones. I also didn’t keep as good track each day in Sept-Dec, but I still feel that’s fairly accurate overall, I just don’t know my daily totals.  So check out my chart and graph!!

That’s a total of 186,286 words!!

I like looking at this because I can see where my motivation dropped off. When school started in September there was a huge dip, but I picked back up in November with the countdown fics! April looks really low, but it was a month of editing so I still did lots! Also, I posted more words than I wrote, which seems really silly, but I wrote all of No Sweeter Drug in 2023 same with most of Proof of Life

And now, because this post isn’t long enough already…

FUN FACTS

Of the days I kept track of my daily word totals (April-August), the day I wrote the most words was August 13th. I wrote 5,856 words of a still unposted Farcille smut fic. It’s extremely nsfw and I wrote almost all of these words in the backseat of a car (my parents were in the front) after driving back home from my out-of-state doctor’s appointments. I cooked up the whole idea while in an MRI machine lolll. (I will post it one day but it turns out editing smut is a lot less fun than writing smut)

Throughout the course of this year, my favorite writing font switched from Georgia to Lora. I love Lora so much now, she’s so cunty.

When I’m writing, chances are I’m listening to one of 3 things. This absolutely perfect playlist on youtube—I do my best writing with this but sometimes I’m not in the mood; one of two albums by David Bowie (1 or 2); or my vocaloid playlist (which i’m still curating, one day when it’s perfect and like 10 hours long i’ll share it)

Google docs new tab system is a lifesaver!! I could fit all of my COC fics on the same google doc, I love it. You don’t even want to know how many different documents I’d have for one fic before this system was introduced.

(Kind of unrelated, but I also started journaling late 2024 and now I can’t stop. Does this make me cooler? Perhaps not, but offloading my thoughts onto a page is very useful. Also I put quotes and doodles in there.)

LOOKING AHEAD TO 2025

I’ll be bringing one WIP fic from this year into 2025—The Way We Are. I honestly thought I would have finished it by now, but I lost my writing motivation and then gained it only for COC, but I’m hoping to finish writing the last two chapters soon. (I’ve told myself I can’t post anymore  of it until I finish writing it, which maybe wasn’t a good idea but oh well). I genuinely love this fic and the themes I explore in it, so I hope to finish and post more soon!

My main goal for 2025 is to just keep writing. I try to have a daily goal of at least 200 words a day, and the months where I stuck to that goal are some of the ones where I wrote the most. It takes me about 200 words to get into the flow and want to keep writing, so it ends up really effective. I have a newer, sexier, writing tracker spreadsheet for 2025 and I feel very inspired to fill it up. 

If you read this whole thing, I love you! This was a yap yet so it ended up long, so I'm hiding the sappiness down here. I've had SO much fun joining the fandom this year. I love and appreciate all of you, from the first time I was tagged in a wipsday on here, to everyone who's commented on my fics. The Carry On fandom truly is the bestest ever, you guys are so encouraging and make me want to keep writing forever and ever <3

I’m pretty sure most people who’ve wanted to have done this already, but be tagged anyways (sorry if I missed you if you've already done this):

@aristocratic-otter @arthurkko @beastmonstertitan @blackberrysummerblog @bookishbroadwayandblind

@bookish-bogwitch @brendughh @brilla-brilla-estrellita @cccloudsss (tyyyy for being such a good friend and the fastest beta everrrr) @cutestkilla

@facewithoutheart @fiend-for-culture @horsesarenotdeer @hushed-chorus @iamamythologicalcreature

@larkral @meanjeansjeans @m1ndwinder @raenestee @rbkzz

@shrekgogurt @skee3000 @supercutedinosaurs @talentpiper11 @thewholelemon

@valeffelees @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @argumentativeantitheticalg

[lux-aurea-lunae]

Prompt 20 - Training

Hero felt bewildered. They would recognize that person anywhere, but they never expected to see them there.

Villain was their old friend from the hero training program. Hero remembered it well. Villain had boundless enthusiasm and passion for hero work, but, according to the instructors, they lacked natural ability. They weren’t smart or strong or fast enough to ever make it as a hero. Still, Villain’s determination seemed endless as they worked twice as hard to keep up with the other students.

Hero tried to help them in any way they could, from tutoring them to sparring with them in their free time. Villain’s persistence paid off, and they maintained passing grades in all of their assessments.

After that, things changed. The instructors started giving Hero more advanced work, a level above their other classmates’. They claimed it was because Hero showed tremendous potential, and they wanted them to be properly challenged.

Hero thought it was partly due to them helping Villain avoid failing. The instructors believed that if Villain couldn’t do it themself, then they shouldn’t be here. That Villain isn’t going to learn or grow if Hero keeps holding their hand.

The additional work made it next to impossible for Hero to find time to take a break, let alone help Villain. They tried cutting into their sleep hours, but their own performance started slipping, and the instructors all but demanded they stop.

Villain’s progress had slowed after that, and they couldn’t seem to keep up with the other students. Any attempt they made to get extra help was denied. Hero couldn’t do anything but watch as Villain grew more and more frustrated at the unfairness of their situation. They wanted to help Villain so badly.

Then, one day, Villain didn’t attend class. The teacher confirmed that they had dropped out. They didn’t answer any of Hero’s attempts to contact them, and Hero never saw them again. Until Villain. Hero wanted to see them again. To get closure, or at least some answers.

The hero agency didn’t seem to know Villain’s identity, but it was obvious to Hero, if not by their appearance, then by the fact that they were mostly targeting their old classmates. Hero was one of their old classmates. They hoped their friendship meant enough to Villain to at least hear them out before trying to kill them.

They found Villain in the aftermath of a fight. Villain smirked when they saw them. “Hey, Hero. It’s been a while, huh?”

That was a good sign, so Hero took a chance. “Why them, Villain? They weren't the ones who set you up to fail.”

Villain’s demeanour shifted to cold rage. “They treated me like I was inferior to them. They were always looking down on me, acting like they had any more right to be there than I did. You were the only one who was unconditionally kind to me, which is why you’re the only one who deserves my mercy. They shouldn’t even be heroes, with how easily they let their emotions influence their actions. They underestimated me then, so I’m showing them just how much stronger I’ve become.”

Hero already knew most of that. They’d seen it, and tried to do something about it, but nothing changed. They had been quite frustrated with just about everyone, themself. They’d promised themself that, if no one was going to be there for Villain, then they would. It was a promise they hadn’t managed to keep, despite their best efforts.

“You could join me, you know.” Villain’s casual offer snapped Hero out of their thoughts. It took a long moment for them to process the words.

“Why would I do that?” they asked, a little defensive. They didn’t like people assuming they would break someone’s trust in them so easily.

“If I recall correctly, they treated you poorly, as well. You didn’t have any other friends, either. You were an amazing person, but none of them could look past their own envy to see it.”

Hero remembered being too busy or sore or tired to ever care, but once they graduated, they were lonely. Even now, there was an ever present distance between them and their coworkers. Between them and everyone, really.

Everyone, except for Villain, who was uncharacteristically patient as they waited for Hero’s response. “So, are you going to join me or not?”