#this was actually so adorable to imagine omg

[cuteniaarts]

2 hour rough drawing of Ehuang, my precious Green Opal child who I don’t draw nearly enough <3

[dollsuguru]

writing fluff is so hard esp for a character you haven’t written for before + other characters in the fic 😭

[greedbent]

If there was one thing the little girl actually admired (That's right) about the bro, it was his way with words. And so one day, seemingly out of nowhere... Itsuki just clears her throat gently, as she allows the following words to escape her as if it were her first Shakeaspearean recital (... whatever that is): "Uwaaaaa, such is the... FREH-GEE-LEE-TEA of life itself." There was a long, almost dramatic pause, before she whirls towards him with a smile, "... did ah use dat word right, bro? ouo"

@yukikorogashi || i'm squishing this snow child's cheeks in kaz's stead ;; <3

“Who let you on the floor?”

She'd barely even reached his side before the words crept through his teeth, and Kaz's ever-vigilant leer didn't falter from a sweep of the club surrounding them. Glasses clanked. Cards shuffled. Chips rattled. Wheels clicked. Nevertheless, Itsuki's voice still found a way to cut clear through the commotion. Try as Kaz did, he failed to fully ignore her.

At first, little more than a passing glance, a crack in his demeanor giving him away. But by the time Itsuki spun toward him with a beaming smile (What, expecting praise?), Kaz's focus had been pinned. He blinked slowly. A barely perceptible exhale skirted past his lips.

“Oh, now that depends,” he crooned, at that moment allowing the inklings of a smirk to cross his face. “Whose fragile life are we discussing? If it's that of a girl wandering places she shouldn't, then congratulations: you're absolutely right.”

[soapsdish]

my love for linden ashby is so, so real and encompassing that I have started watching RE: Extinction with MK (97) in the queue to play after. I may even break down and watch a few episodes of TW...

this man just does it for me and I feel no shame objectifying him like the degenerate I am :D

[kajibunny]

@stunie (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡ thought abt you!!

ume’s morning hair routine !

note. vv short. just got inspired by nii satoru’s recent artwork of ume. i’m so in love w this man 🦋

The morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a gentle glow across the room. You sat on the edge of the bed, watching as Umemiya finished his shower, his hair damp and unruly. He always took great care of his hair, meticulously styling it every morning, but today you offered to help.

"Let me do your hair today," you said, smiling as you picked up the hairdryer and flat iron.

Umemiya paused, slightly surprised, then smiled back. "Alright, but don't mess it up," he teased, sitting down in front of you.

You chuckled, feeling a flutter of warmth in your chest. "I promise I won't."

As you carefully dried his hair, you couldn't help but admire the way it shone under the light. His hair had always been soft and silky, and you loved the way it framed his face when it was styled just right.

Once his hair was dry, you picked up the flat iron, gently running it through each section of his hair. Umemiya closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of your hands working through his locks. It was a rare moment of intimacy, one that made your heart swell with affection.

"There," you said softly, smoothing down the last strand. "Perfect."

Umemiya opened his eyes and turned to look at you, a playful grin on his lips. "How do I look?”

"Handsome as always," you replied, leaning in to plant a kiss on his forehead.

He chuckled, reaching up to cup your cheek. "Thank you, my love." he said, his voice soft and sincere.

As he stood up to get dressed, you felt a sense of contentment wash over you. These simple moments, these quiet mornings spent together, were what made your relationship with Umemiya so special.

And as he turned to leave for the day, you couldn't resist calling out, "Don't forget to come back home looking just as handsome, okay?"

Umemiya laughed, waving as he headed out the door. "I'll try my best!"

As the door closed behind him, you found yourself smiling, already looking forward to the next morning you could spend together.

© slerrix 2024. all rights reserved. please do not copy, modify, or repost any work as your own.

[wethotcrazy]

NEVER GO HUNGRY EVER AGAIN

pairing: Lando Norris x Reader

word count: 1727

hii it's been a while since my last fic and im stll on a high since the abu dabi gp, so heres a cute little lando fic. also just finished my first semester of uni hopefully i can be more active.

The soft glow of the monitors illuminated Lando’s face as he leaned forward, laser-focused on his game. His fingers danced across the controller, jaw set in determination. Voices of his friends buzzed through his headset, a mix of banter, callouts, and the occasional burst of laughter.

“Lando, mate, you’re absolutely throwing right now,” Max’s voice rang out, feigned frustration clear in his tone.

“I’m not throwing! I’m playing the long game,” Lando shot back with a grin, eyes still glued to the screen. “It’s called strategy, ever heard of it?”

“Yeah, the strategy of losing,” Ria quipped, drawing a chorus of laughter from the team.

“Alright, alright, just watch this,” Lando said, leaning even closer to the screen. His tongue poked out in concentration, the telltale sign he was locked in.

Time slipped away unnoticed as he navigated the game’s twists and turns. The familiar rhythm of the stream chat’s messages scrolled rapidly on his second monitor, but he was too deep into the game to glance over. Hours must have passed, but Lando’s mind was too preoccupied to register the growling in his stomach.

Then, a knock.

“One sec,” Lando muttered, sliding one earcup off his head. He glanced toward the door, his brows furrowing in confusion before realization dawned. He leaned back in his chair, eyes softening. “Come in!”

There was a brief sound of shuffling, the slight thud of a hip bumping the door before it slowly creaked open. Y/N stepped in, balancing a plate of food in her hands with the focus of someone carrying a national treasure. The chat’s speed doubled as her side profile came into frame, and messages like "OMG it’s Y/N!" and "Wifey alert 😍" flooded the chat box.

“Brought you dinner,” she said softly, walking toward him with careful steps. The aroma hit him before she even reached his desk, and his heart swelled with warmth.

“Oh, you’re a legend, babe,” Lando said, quickly sitting upright and scooting his chair back to give her space. He took the plate from her, eyes wide with admiration as he gazed at the meal she’d prepared. “This looks amazing.”

“I was worried you’d forget to eat,” she teased, brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Her smile was soft but knowing—she’d seen him get lost in games like this before.

Lando’s eyes didn’t leave her face for a second. His gaze flickered to the chat, catching sight of the flood of adoring messages. "The way he’s looking at her, I’m sick 🩸" and "That’s the look of a man in love" filled the stream.

“She’s literally the best ever, chat,” Lando said, his voice warm and unwavering. He reached up with his free hand to gently squeeze Y/N’s wrist before letting her go. “I’m the luckiest guy in the world, I swear.”

“I’ll get you a drink,” Y/N said, already turning to leave. “Wait here.”

“I—” Lando started, but she’d already slipped out of the room. He let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head before glancing at the camera. “Chat, I’m telling you, I’ve won the lottery. She’s just…” He trailed off, unable to find a word that felt big enough to encompass it all. “Yeah. She’s perfect.”

“Bro, you’re down so bad,” Max’s voice cackled through the headset. “Not even hiding it anymore.”

“Why would I?” Lando shot back, eyes sparkling with pride. He lifted a piece of the dinner—some kind of stuffed pasta—and popped it into his mouth. His eyes widened as soon as he tasted it. “Okay, wait, hold on.” He covered his mouth as he chewed, glancing at the camera like he’d just uncovered a world-class secret. “This is actually insane. I’m eating like royalty right now.”

“Imagine getting home-cooked meals while streaming. Must be nice,” Ria sighed dramatically.

“Couldn’t be me,” Aaron added with mock bitterness. “I’m over here eating cold leftover pizza like a peasant.”

“Jealousy’s a bad look on you, mate,” Lando grinned, taking another bite. He’d meant to savor it, but he’d already eaten half before he realized it. “Chat, she’s turned into a whole chef since moving in. Two weeks ago she’d barely step into the kitchen, and now look at this. Look at me.” He gestured toward himself with his fork. “I’m living like a king.”

The chat’s pace somehow sped up even more, hearts, fire emojis, and "Y/N for president" messages flooding in.

Y/N returned with a cold drink in hand and set it beside him on the desk. Her eyes darted to the chat for just a moment before glancing at him, eyebrows raised in suspicion. “What did you say?” she asked, hands on her hips.

“Nothing incriminating, I promise,” Lando said, eyes wide with faux innocence. “Only that you’re basically a professional chef now.”

“Mhm. Sure,” she said, rolling her eyes, but the smile on her face gave her away. “Just eat it before it gets cold.”

Lando’s face broke into a grin so wide it crinkled the corners of his eyes. He glanced once more at the chat. "Lando’s done for, he’s a goner," one person wrote, and he had to admit… they weren’t wrong.

He raised his glass to the camera in a mock toast. “To all of you wishing you had what I’ve got,” he said, eyes flicking back to Y/N as she disappeared through the door again, “I’m sorry, but it’s mine. All mine.”

A couple of months into living together, it had become a routine for Y/N to bring Lando food during his streams. It started as a simple act of kindness but quickly became a beloved ritual for both of them — and for Lando’s ever-watchful chat.

Tonight was no different.

Lando’s camera captured him in his element, leaning forward in his chair, controller in hand, eyes narrowed in sharp focus. His headset covered his curls, his tongue poking out at the corner of his mouth in classic 'concentration mode.' On his second monitor, the stream chat moved at lightning speed, viewers spamming “LAN-DOOOO”, “HE’S SWEATING”, and various emotes of fire, skulls, and crying faces.

“Lando, you’re one shot, man,” Max’s voice rang in his ear, sharp with urgency.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah—I got it, I got it,” Lando muttered, hands moving rapidly on the controller. “Just cover me for like... five seconds!”

“Five seconds too many,” Ria chimed in. “I’m not your babysitter, Norris.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Lando quipped, grinning as he slid his character behind cover.

Then, it happened — the knock on the door.

“Yo, hold on. Hold on. One sec,” Lando said, throwing a quick glance at his door. A slow grin crept onto his face as he realized what time it was. “Chat, you know what’s coming,” he said, sliding his chair back.

“It’s timeeee!” one person spammed in the chat.

“WIFEY ALERT 🚨,” another user wrote, followed by a sea of heart emojis.

The door nudged open slowly, and in came Y/N, balancing a plate with one hand and holding a drink in the other. Her expression was one of mock seriousness, eyes narrowed like she was on a high-stakes mission. The second she stepped into frame, the chat went wild.

“SHE’S HEREEEE” “THE QUEEN HAS ARRIVED” “HOLD ON, SHE’S CARRYING SNACKS??” “I’m so single it’s painful”

“Dinner delivery for one Mr. Lando Norris,” Y/N announced, placing the plate in front of him with a flourish like she was a waiter at a five-star restaurant. “Sir, your steak and garlic butter potatoes. Compliments of the chef.”

“Oh, you’re too good to me, babe,” Lando said, eyes wide with dramatic awe. He glanced at the plate like it was a priceless treasure, then looked at the camera, pointing at Y/N. “Chat, look at this. Are you seeing this? Chef Y/N at it again. Tell me I’m not the luckiest guy in the world.”

“You’re not,” Max’s voice cut in, laughing. “I’m still here eating microwave noodles, mate.”

“Skill issue,” Y/N shot back casually, leaning down to glance at Lando’s second monitor. The chat’s speed had tripled. Her lips twitched into a smile. “They’re calling you a simp, by the way.”

“I am a simp,” Lando declared without hesitation, holding a fork like it was a scepter. “And I have no regrets.” He stabbed a piece of steak and stuffed it into his mouth, eyes closing in exaggerated bliss. “Oh, my days. This is illegal. You’re ruining me.”

“Man’s got his priorities right,” Aaron’s voice chimed in through the headset.

Y/N’s laughter bubbled out, light and melodic, and she shook her head. “Don’t choke on it, simp. I’ll be in the living room if you need me.” She leaned in and tapped a quick kiss to his cheek, which sent the chat into meltdown.

“CLIP IT, CLIP IT RIGHT NOW” “THE KISS. THE KISS. WE’VE WON.” “I’m crying. They’re so in love it’s disgusting.”

Lando’s cheek flushed pink as he glanced back at the camera, his grin stretching wider than it should. “Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m done for,” he said, rubbing his cheek where her lips had been like he could still feel it. “But you’d be too if you had Y/N bringing you garlic butter potatoes, alright? Don’t be jealous. It’s not a good look.”

“You’re insufferable,” Ria sighed. “But also, I’d like to formally request a plate.”

“Tell Y/N I’ll pay her to ship it to me,” Max added.

“She’s not taking requests,” Lando shot back, grinning like a man with the world’s greatest secret. “This exclusive menu is mine and mine alone.” He held up the plate to the camera, displaying the perfectly cooked steak and crispy golden potatoes. “Look at that. The chat’s in shambles. They’re losing it. I would be too, honestly.”

He glanced toward the door, his grin softening as he caught sight of Y/N’s figure passing by in the hallway. “Yeah,” he muttered to himself, eyes trailing her for a moment longer before turning back to the camera. “I’m absolutely done for.”

“Somebody save this man,” Aaron’s voice cackled, but Lando didn’t even hear it.

“Don’t want to be saved, mate,” Lando said, mouth full of potatoes. He raised his glass toward the camera like he’d done a hundred times before. “Cheers to being a simp, yeah? I’ll happily stay down bad forever.”

[lilianne-tarot]

PICK-A-CARD: What are your Special person's true thoughts about you? ✮⋆˙

How to Pick Your Pile: Take a deep breath, clear your mind, and look at the images above. Which one pulls you in the most? Trust your gut! Once you choose the image, The number below your chosen image is your pile. If more than one catches your eye, that just means there’s extra tea for you—go ahead and read both!

If you enjoyed this reading, get your own personalized paid reading here!

For personalized 18+ readings, click here!

My KO-FI link: HERE🫶🏻

MY MASTERLIST 🫶🏻

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｡𖦹°‧Pile I

First of all, for some of them, your sp is literally screaming mentally, “OMG, WHO IS THIS CHAOTIC ANGEL?” ✨ Your SP sees you as someone so refreshing and unpredictable, very cutesy, like a brand-new Netflix series they just started and suddenly can’t stop bingeing. You bring this lighthearted, free-spirited energy into their life, and honestly? They’re kind of obsessed. Then we have the 9 of Cups, aka the "you’re literally everything I’ve been manifesting but now I don’t know what to do with myself" card. 💀 They see you as dream person material—like you check off boxes they didn’t even know they had. You’re fun, confident, and magnetic, and you probably don’t even realize how much power you have over them. The way they think about you? Bestie, it’s giving delulu daydream montage. 🎬 They’re imagining cute dates, shared playlists, and you laughing at their (probably bad) jokes. tch tch. BUT HERE’S THE PLOT TWIST—

So, while they’re out here crushing HARD, The Devil reversed is exposing their inner demons (I was hearing positions by ariana grande here😭). You might not even realize it, but they’re fighting some deep-seated fears when it comes to you. This could be attachment issues, past heartbreak, or the fact that you make them feel vulnerable in a way they’re not used to. Like, one second they’re staring at your pictures like “😍,” and the next they’re having an existential crisis in the shower. i feel like, even though externally they might come off as really strong and brave but on an inside they are an emotional mess 24/7. And then we have the 3 of Swords, which is like the tarot version of "I want this but I’m scared of getting hurt." so here the interpretation from the devil is confirmed. Whether it’s because of past experiences or just their own insecurities, this person is lowkey terrified of catching feelings too hard. If this is a situationship or crush, they might be keeping their guard up, acting all nonchalant, but internally? They’re NOT having it easy. If y’all are together, there’s this underlying fear of messing things up, or even thoughts like, “Do I deserve this?”.

WAIT- YKW GUYS if you are thinking of dating this person, you'll cuz my cards are giving me a STRAIGHT NO. at least the first step shouldn't be yours.

although SP is so into you but doesn’t know how to handle it. It’s like they wished for their dream person (you), and the universe was like, “Bet,” and now they’re sitting there like, “Wait… I wasn’t ready.” 💀 They adore your free-spirited energy, think you’re hot, fun, and exciting, but there’s this internal battle going on where they’re both obsessed with you and terrified of their own emotions. Classic. I HATE THIS SITUATION. Expect them to act a little hot-and-cold (CUE KATY PERRY) while they figure their sh*t out. But, they think about you all the time.

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｡𖦹°‧Pile II

BEFORE I START, THIS PILE WOULD'VE BEEN MUCH BETTER AS AN 18+ READING.

Okay, first things first—your SP sees value in you. The Ace of Pentacles is big commitment energy. It’s like they’ve looked at you and thought, “Damn, this could actually be something real.” They’re not just seeing you as a casual situationship or a passing crush. Nope.

BUT The 9 of Swords here is SCREAMING late-night anxiety spiral. This person is overthinking EVERYTHING. Like, “What if I mess this up? What if I’m not good enough? What if they don’t feel the same way? What if I trip and fall in front of them and they ick forever???” 🫠 (DUDE. CHILL.) They’re self-sabotaging in their own head, thinking about worst-case scenarios that probably don’t even exist.

So while they see you as someone who could bring stability, growth, and something long-term, they’re simultaneously battling their inner demons like it’s the final boss fight. They want to go all in, but they’re terrified. Why? Because you’re not someone they can just forget if things don’t work out. (THAT'S THE ENERGY WE NEED IN OUR LIVES)

The Ace of Wands is straight-up....UHM- intense attraction YKWIM (I might as well start writing 18+ readings now because these SPs are not thinking Bible-friendly thoughts💀) . This person is super into you—and not just in a “wow, they’re cute” way, but in a “why do I suddenly want to write poetry about them at 2 a.m.?” way. The chemistry is INSANE. They think about you constantly (and yeah, in that way too—). You’re literally igniting something in them that they haven’t felt in a long time, and it’s driving them absolutely feral. Because while their brain is going “OMG, they’re so attractive, I want to risk it all”, their conscience is like… “Be serious. Think long-term. Respect yourself.” 💀 they’re genuinely torn between wanting to run wild with their feelings and doing things the “right” way, whatever that means to them.

So imagine them trying to focus on their daily life—work, school, responsibilities—and then BAM, a thought of you hits them like a truck. They could be in a meeting, at the gym, grocery shopping, whatever—and suddenly they’re blushing like an idiot thinking about you. It’s bad.

Your SP is down bad in every possible way—emotionally, mentally, PHYSICALLY and spiritually. 😵‍💫 They see you as someone they could build something REAL with, but their brain is doing the absolute most trying to figure out how to handle these feelings. They’re excited but scared, obsessed but hesitant, respectful but completely feral. Expect them to move slow but with purpose. This isn’t someone who’s gonna play games or act reckless with your feelings—they’re genuinely trying to be the best version of themselves for you. But in the meantime? Yeah, they’re definitely losing sleep over you.

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｡𖦹°‧Pile III

Alright, dear pile 3, see a place around you and sit down because I need you to understand something…

Your SP? Losing their mind. Crumbling. Rewriting their entire emotional hard drive because of you. They’re obsessing, spiraling, questioning every life choice that has led them to this exact moment. And frankly? It’s hilarious. 😭 (this SP reminds me of my fanfiction era). This person is lying awake at night staring at the ceiling, replaying every interaction with you like a Netflix series they can’t pause. The romantic tension is REAL. out of all the piles, they have them most " helplessly obsessed but want to keep it to themselves" kind of energy

Their inner monologue is something like:

“Why do I feel like this???”

“This wasn’t in my 5-year plan???”

“Am I in love or just dehydrated???”

“No, but seriously… do they like me back or am I delulu??”

It’s giving panicked rom-com protagonist, except instead of confessing their love in the rain, they’re avoiding eye contact and internally combusting every time you’re around. 😭 But here’s the tea—The Lovers is here. Meaning? They’re feeling some type of way about you, and it’s not casual. This is deep, meaningful, life-altering type of interest. You might be their “oh sh*t, this could be THE ONE” person, and that realization is SENDING them into a full existential crisis.Your SP have been through it. They’ve got this heartbreak kind of vibe and emotional walls taller than the Burj Khalifa. They weren’t even planning to catch feelings! But then you showed up radiating main character energy, and suddenly… They’re rethinking everything.

10 of Wands reversed means they’ve been carrying too much for too long, but something about you makes them want to put the emotional backpack down and breathe. Like, “Wait… I don’t have to be the strong, exhausted, emotionally unavailable person forever???” And THEN we have The World, which is literally the card of completion, wholeness, and leveling up. In short? You’re the plot twist they didn’t see coming. You make them feel like they’re stepping into a new phase of their life, and that’s both exciting and terrifying. They’re realizing they can’t just keep running from their emotions, because the way they feel about you? It’s real. It’s big. It’s undeniable.

Your SP is in emotional shambles over you, bestie. 💀 They’re out here stressing, catching feelings, and trying to figure out whether to fight or surrender to this connection.So if they’re acting weird? That’s why. They’re literally experiencing an existential crisis over YOU. 😭They see you as THE person. The one who could change their life. The one who makes them feel safe, understood, and lowkey terrified because the feelings are TOO STRONG. So now they’re trying to decide whether to run away from these emotions… or risk it all. Moral of the story? Sit pretty and let them suffer. 😌✨ They’ll come to their senses eventually. Or they’ll continue panicking. Either way? You win. 💅🔥

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Thank you so much for reading all the way through! I hope my reading resonated with you and that you had a lovely time going through it. If you enjoyed it, please like and reblog—it really means a lot! Let me know which pile you chose; I absolutely love hearing your thoughts and feedback on my readings! ♡

Note: tarot cards provide guidance and possible insights into what could happen based on current energies, thoughts, and actions. the cards can highlight potential paths or outcomes, but they do not predict the future in a fixed way. this is a general reading so take what resonates!

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[meteorella]

Nerdgasmic Rhapsody

pairings: loser!dom!ellie x popular!sub!reader

cw: flufff!! ellie's an absolute cutie pie. cursing (obv), oral! (r receiving), tribbing (maybe?), nipple play, after caree!!, pet names: sweetheart, baby, princess, that's all i think!

wc: 511

a/n: (intentional lowercase!!!) first ever ficcc omg🥹 i have never ever in my life written a fanfic before so pleaseee don't judge and also feel free to point out some mistakes and stuff!! I take criticisms as i'm sure it'll help me a lot throughout my writing journey :))) can't promise I'll post consistently considering I'm insanely dumped with school works but I'll definitely find time to do so. anyways i hope u guys enjoy this one!! Feel free to hit me w some ideaaasss :3

after you had made it official with the biggest dork on campus—ellie—people would randomly come up to you in the hallways and tease you, not believing how sweet she actually is. after all of your previous relationships, ellie is the only one who genuinely cared for you. despite her shy and nerdy demeanor, she's really fun to hang out with. she'd continuously yap about space, the comic books she's read—savage starlight—and drop all of its lore to you. the whole fucking lore. although you hardly cared. she was too adorable. most of the time, you would find yourself just looking at her sparkling green eyes, topped by her matte, black glasses, her hand gestures, and the soft smile plastered on her lips while she speaks. she's even more beautiful up close. how could others not see that? whilst ellie can be a total cutie pie, you cant deny how fucking insane she can be in bed.

when eating you out, she'd flick her tongue out relentlessly on your leaking hole. firmly gripping on to your thighs, she already knows your next motive. "nuh-uh, sweetheart. keep them open for me." she shoots you a knowing glare before diving back into your drenched core, keeping eye contact all the while. her gaze roamed over your appearance, hair disheveled, eyes rolled back, and completely fucked out. "s-sorry, baby–fuck." you moaned as you clutched onto her dino-printed sheets. so fucking cute. after you'd climaxed for the 3rd time, she'd climb on top of you and slip her tongue down your throat, allowing you to taste yourself as she grinded her own throbbing cunt against yours. your soaking wet pussies rubbing, and creating the most delicious rhythm together. she absolutely loved your boobs. she adored how it just bounces up and down as she rolled her hips above you. she took your nipple in between her thumb and her index finger and pinched them, making you flinch at the feeling. her glasses were all fogged up and crooked, but she couldn't care less. she was too engrossed on drawing out more of those angelic sounds that slips past your lips as she pleases you. "doing s–so good f'me, princess... fuck–so hot." when you had both finally reached your peak, she'd lean down and gently clean up all your juices from between your thighs with her tongue.

she gives absolutely the best aftercare imaginable. the routine would start with cleaning you up with a wet towel, swiping it's soft material across your face, your breasts, your legs, your inner thighs—she had always taken care of you in the most tender and loving way. she loved hearing your soft, exhausted sighs of relief, as you watch her with a smile on your face all while savoring the chocolate she so graciously offered you. after ellie finishes cleaning you up, she would settle beside you, enveloping you in her arms as she wrapped them around your waist. her lips showering your neck with gentle kisses as she whispered heartfelt words of affection. "i'm going to marry you one day."

YAAALLLL OMG I HOPE THIS DIDN'T SUCK TOO HARD😣😣😣🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 i hope u guys enjoyed this one, i really enjoyed writing thisss!!

tags: @ellstronaut

dividers: @khaer @plutism

[hamzahsbiggestfan]

bf!hamzah x gf!reader headcannons `✦ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ:

bf!hamzah who is your #1 supporter and is soso proud of any accomplishments you make, no matter how small, he will take you out to dinner to celebrate

bf!hamzah who will carry you if you two are walking and your feet start to hurt

bf!hamzah who knows you more than you know yourself, from your favorite movie, down to your favorite pair of socks

bf!hamzah who will do everything he can to cheer you up if you’re having a bad day, imagine him running you a bubble bath and when you get out he already has a pillow fort set up with all your favorite snacks for you guys to binge watch a new tv show. omg

bf!hamzah who is so proud to be your boyfriend, trying to show you off in every way possible

bf!hamzah who could listen to you talk for hours and will stay attentive to the things you say, even if what you’re saying is half nonsense, he loves when you tell him about your day or even random lore about something you saw on tiktok, he just loves knowing that he’s the first person you come to when you need to rant

bf!hamzah who will always be down to build legos with you, even if it takes you half the day and you had to restart twice cause you kept messing up

bf!hamzah who will not shut up about you, no actually. when he’s filming with martin and you were at home or working, he will take every opportunity he gets to talk about how much he misses you

bf!hamzah who will buy everything for you even tho you can afford it yourself, don’t even try opening your wallet around this man

bf!hamzah who will show his love and adoration to you in every way possible, whether it’d be kissing every inch of your face or holding your hands when you’re in a crowd

bf!hamzah who will always give you updates and send cute little pictures of red and blue if you’re not home with him

bf!hamzah who never lets your flowers die, will get you a new bouquet every week and make sure he picks out a different variation every time (never neon flowers)

hiiii guysss! i had so much fun writing this and i still have so many more ideas so let me know if you want a part twoooo

also send fic requests cuz i’m in my writing grind :pp

[sogoodtoheritsvicious]

just let me adore you

summary: you and harry have grown closer over the last two months and he wants to take the next step, but you aren’t sure if you’re ready to give your heart to someone again.

vicious speaks: things are happening 🤭

series masterlist

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liked by harrystyles, carlossainz55 and others

yourusername 🤎

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fan1 what the fuck. i mean i knew you guys were most likely friends bc of those stories you posted a bit go but what the fuck.

oscarpiastri so you just casually decided to break the internet, huh?

⤷ yourusername 😭 i wouldn’t go that far

yourbff so much fun ♥️ let’s do it again soon!!

⤷ francisca.cgomes i second that 🤍

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux ^^

⤷ yourusername absolutely!

⤷ fan2 wait omg can someone confirm if this means harry was hanging out with the f1 guys??

⤷ francolapinto i can confirm, yes

⤷ fan3 thank you for your service, king

⤷ francolapinto 🫡

ynharrysthird WHAT THE FUCK

mitchrowland it was great to finally meet you!

⤷ yourusername ditto ☺️

⤷ fan4 oh my God

⤷ fan5 they’re meeting each others friends…i need to lie down 😵‍💫

⤷ fan6 “finally” oh harry has definitely been talking about her nonstop fkgjfjd

gemmastyles who’s the weirdo in the 2nd slide?

⤷ fan7 ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

⤷ yourusername i have no idea, he just showed up begging to be let in 🥴

⤷ harrystyles i regret introducing you

⤷ ynharrysthird this is my white whale

fan8 YOU CAN’T JUST POST HARRY AND NOT SAY ANYTHING

lilmhe still thinking about that tiramisu 😍 ♥︎ by author

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harrystyles 🤍

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fan1 YOU SICK FUCKS

fan2 IS MY LIFE A JOKE TO YOU

yourbff lovely meeting you :) ♥︎ by author

fan3 dontsayitdontsayitdontsayit…THIS IS A HARD LAUNCH

ynharrysthird I’M NEVER RECOVERING

⤷ fan4 how are you alive after this

⤷ ynharrysthird i’m not. my ghost is typing.

⤷ fan5 i fear for your life if they ever post a selfie

⤷ ynharrysthird a valid fear

fan6 yn posting harry in black & white and him posting her in color is something that can be so personal

fan7 now kiss

carlossainz55 this is so entertaining

⤷ fan8 carlos pls 😭

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itsaria before and after

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fan1 this friendship is the best thing to come out of that break up

fan2 imagine if all cheating scandals ended with the girls dumping the cheater and becoming best friends

fan3 still so bizarre 😭

yourusername ♥️

⤷ fan4 this is all clearly a desperate attempt to get lando’s attention

⤷ itsaria our friendship is only about us, actually

⤷ yourusername our lives don’t revolve around a man. shocking, i know.

fan5 fuck the gossip, their friendship is cute!

fan6 aria will we see you at yns ono show?

⤷ itsaria wouldn’t miss it for the world!

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yourusername has added to their stories

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fan1 so excited!!!!

lilymhe see you tonight 💕

yourbff you’re gonna kill it 🫶🏼 me and ‘los will be screaming the loudest!!

fan2 can’t wait to freak out later while watching you on a grainy livestream <3

fan3 rip to my sleep schedule

harrystyles cheering you on ❤️ ♥︎ by author

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hsupdates harry at yns show tonight!

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fan1 OH MY GOD OKAY IT’S HAPPENING

fan2 of course he’s there, he’s her biggest fan 😭

ynharrysthird i’m not responsible for my actions if we get a selfie or any kind of interaction tn

fan3 ik she’s a professional but i’d be so nervous if knew that thee harry styles was at my show

⤷ fan4 he actually mentioned to a fan that she doesn’t know he’s there cause it’s a surprise 🥹 can’t wait to see her reaction

fan5 GUYS what if she brings him on stage to perform something???

⤷ ynharrysthird don’t do that. don’t give me hope

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fan1 this is my 13th reason

fan2 oh my God i’m gonna pass out

yourusername best surprise ever!! i still can’t believe you actually made it 🥹🫶🏼

⤷ harrystyles i wouldn’t have missed it unless absolutely necessary x

fan3 ME AND WHO

carlossainz55 great seeing you again!

⤷ harrystyles we gotta hang out more, mate

⤷ carlossainz55 we will, i see a lot of double dates in our future

⤷ harrystyles here’s hoping 🤞🏼

ynharrysthird i am not okay

fan4 hey God it’s me again

yourbff you’re setting the bar so high, dude

⤷ harrystyles i’m just treating her the way she deserves

fan5 i swear if y’all still aren’t dating after this…

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[goingdownondaisuke]

Mouthwashing crew on aphrodisiacs

(Nsfw request 🔞)

hi ofc i love this!! >0< also im SO sorry it took me so long to get to you 😭

(gender neutral reader, nsfw under the cut!)

anya ۶ৎ

extremely clingy and touchy

is so freaking adorable ughh

her face is all red and her breaths are heavy and her nipples are hard and sdhjmow

not very good at communicating her needs so will probably just kiss you a lot to somewhat signal that she needs some

a lot more...intense during sex when it's drug-induced

like not in a bad way she's just SOOOOO into it

she'll reach orgasm faster, she'll moan a lot louder, she'll rut against you with a lot more desperation

gives sloppy kisses hnngh

will def grind on your thigh/stomach/face/WHATEVER.

she would totally love to ride your face then kiss you after she's finished

oh yes!!!

curly ۶ৎ

very touchy

like the way i like to imagine it is like the aphrodisiac takes effect for him, you're standing in the kitchen and he comes up behind you and pulls your ass to his hard-on while giving you neck kisses

then if he can tell that you're in the mood he just strip you down and fuck you in the kitchen for a few rounds before taking you to bed

roughhh

like he doesn't mean to be he's just horny as fuck 😣

while on an aphrodisiac he'd love to take you ass up face down

cherishes allll of you and your holes

getting head from you is unbelievable in that state

still carries that bit of tenderness when he handles you, you're so precious to him he'd never hurt you even whilst under the influence

please please please play with his nipples omg

daisuke ۶ৎ

he didn't need an aphro in the first place

he was bad before? oh he's horrendous now

literally will go until morning. MORNING

comes especially quicker now, give him 30 seconds - a solid minute and he's finished

before actually taking off his clothes he'll dry hump you and come in his pants twice LOL

NEEDS you to go down on him

this won't be for everyone but would love to be pegged in this state more than anything

he will fuck you like a dog if you're not topping

ride him!!!

ugh and pls degrade him and bully him for being such a needy little pup

wait is that corny

jimmy ۶ৎ

GULPPPP

would grope you almost immediately

...but in a sweet way if that makes any sense

he'd moan and whimper a lot more than he'd groan and grunt

hear me out i feel like he'd be more gentle

like he won't ease up completely but you can definitely tell the difference

he...might even engage in foreplay!!!

he'll kiss you so much more and he'll leave loving hickeys

like ewww he's kinda sweet under the influence

imagine him looking down at you with admiration while he fucking you, and telling you how beautiful you are when stuffed with his dick

leaves a lot more bite marks, drugged or not he thinks you're so hot all marked up by him

swansea

didn't even think he'd be affected 😭

100% more touchy

like imagine you're laying on his lap when it hits him and now he's squeezing and rubbing all up on your ass and waist

and then you'll sit up and all of a sudden you're making out with him

and now you're on your back!!

dirtyyyy talker, even if HE'S the one who took that fucking pill

his hands and lips never leave you

a lot louder and his stamina? phew!!

i just feel like he'd be freakier overall

and if you think im exaggerating YOU take an aphrodisiac 😭!!

[uhohbestie]

oh my god we are absolutely OBSESSED with this aaaaaAAAAA.

It was one of those things that I knew Key was busy but I still had to text her to yell about it. I LOVE how you've depicted this-- you've perfectly captured the moment. The sunlight through the trees, Grian's sweater spilling out of Scar's backpack, the blood on Grian's face and on the snow. the bullet. the BULLET!!!! I love how this is both frozen and in action. The composition is absolutely killer, too. I'm in love with it.

This is so incredibly gorgeous and we are so SO flattered that our fic inspired you to draw this! Thank you thank you THANK you. We love it and hope you can keep you on the edge of your seat even longer!!! <3 <3 :D

Some fanart I made for a fic!

Keep reading

[witherby]

Everyone immediately folding to mouse is adorable

Omg mousey that’s so cute

Ooooo imagine everyone’s reactions if mouse gets bullied when they’re older

-🪼

That's an excellent thought experiment! Let's play around with that scenario!

What would everyone do if you were being bullied at school?

Featuring: a black eye, a concerned/angry Batfamily, a doting Justice League, and a kid who fucked around and is about to find out.

Alfred:

He's the information collector. He's calling the school. He's asking to see the footage from the incident that sent you home with a black eye. He's firing your body guard. He's reigning in your youngest brother so he won't storm the elementary school and start throwing down with every adult in sight. He's fetching the cold compress and extra blankets. He's prepping your favorite snacks. Anything you require, Flittermouse, you just need ask. Grandpa is livid, but he's also keeping everybody's lids from blowing.

Bruce:

He's walking right out of an important meeting (like, multi-billion with a B dollar investment type of meeting) and driving straight home to assess the damage. Daddy's here, let him see, tell him what happened, Mouse. Bruce stays home for the rest of the day with you, honestly kind of overdoing it with the fussing and babying, but his arms are so secure around you and his heartbeat in your ear is so steady, which you love. In the short bursts of time he lets you go, it's to call Commissioner Gordon to pursue charges against the school and the family of the kid that gave you a shiner. He doesn't need Batman for this; Daddy's got it handled.

Dick:

No worries allowed! No tears allowed! Big Bro Dicky is all smiles and distractions. When Bruce gets too suffocating, he's there to take over and take you someplace fun. You wanna hit up the playground? Done and done, hop in his car. You want ice cream from that one vendor downtown? Sure, get the biggest size and as many flavors as your tummy can fit. Bet that nasty bruise doesn't hurt as bad with all these cool distractions, huh? It's mind over matter, Flitty. You'll be okay, pinky promise.

Tim:

Your cool brother Tim's orchestrating the narrative. What do you want, Mouse? You want that kid expelled? He can do it, say the word. You want him just suspended for a couple days? Done. Easy work. Child's play. You want him to systematically ruin his and his parents' social standings among the Gotham Elite until their names are worth little more than the dirt under the boots of this city? Because he can do that, too. If you want. No biggie. Oh, you just want to be cuddled and marathon Bluey for a while? Hell yeah, M, settle in, we're using the theater room for this. He'll whisper cool facts about the show to you in between the credits while you share the popcorn.

Jason:

Your actually cool brother is gonna ruffle your hair and give you a pep talk about bullies, conflict resolution, and the best ways to handle a situation like this if it ever happens again. He's also gonna teach you how to throw the nastiest right hook anybody's ever seen. With the right technique you could fell a grown fuckin' man, Mousey. Just cause that's your nickname doesn't mean you have to have the matching demeanor. You're gonna come back from this with your chin up and, if need be, your fists clenched. You don't have to pick up the vigilante mantle to avoid becoming a victim. Maybe he'll... also buy you a stuffie and teach you how to milk your injury for extra goodies, whatever. All his tips and tricks don't need to be based in violence!

Damian:

Oh man. This boy's got no chill when it comes to you, for real. He's spent so many years being the baby of the family and that was never a title he wanted. Now here comes you, who used to be an actual, literal baby, growing up faster than anybody wants, and you've come home hurt? Give him the name of the pathetic whelp that dared lay a hand against you, Flit. He'll make them pay dearly. He's your big brother. He's your protector. He's come to love you like a blood sibling, and he won't stand for any injustice committed against you. Damian's hands are rated E for Everyone; he'll punch out a child without hesitation and make them wish they'd never even thought about touching you.

Of course, the Justice League is your family, too! They used to look forward to seeing Bruce bring you to the Watchtower in your little car seat and portable playpen. They come to all your birthday parties. They're your aunties and uncles through and through.

Hal:

Uncle Hal (who eventually becomes your step-dad Hal, or Papa) is sympathetic. He used to get into fights at school, too. His more down-to-earth advice for dealing with the problem — ironic, considering his intergalactic occupation — is really helpful. Sometimes you just need a comforting squeeze, a kiss on the forehead, and a classic everything will be A-okay, kiddo. You just gotta take life one step at a time and don't let it keep you down. 10/10 most reasonable and normal reaction to the whole thing, honestly.

Diana:

Y'know I think she's only slightly more chill about it than Damian. She's infuriated that any mere mortal would dare harm your previous head. She's trying to convince Bruce to grant her temporary custody so she can take you to Themyscira for intensive warrior training. She's offering to end the bloodline of the soul that caused you injury. She's commending your fortitude and the fact that a black eye isn't dissuading you from going back to school tomorrow. She will go to battle about it if you just ask.

Clark:

Baffled that children are this cruel. (<- This motherfucker was getting bullied way harder than you did when he was your age, but his invulnerability made it really easy to deal with and he just pretended to be hurt by his aggressors.) He's offering to fly you to the Kent family farm to hang out with the animals for a day in a nice, quiet environment. He's gonna give you a little pep talk like Hal did, but again, he's invulnerable, so it's going to sound disingenuous coming from Uncle Clark. It's the thought that counts, though. Thanks man.

Long story short: you're getting bullied and injured. It's blown just a little out of proportion, but you feel no less loved for it, and you can rest assured that it won't happen again.

[somepsychopomp]

Not an ask but I absolutely adore your Vampire au! After the whole ep with The Star, I was just constantly imagining of a scenario where Simon is alive and well, and joins the VK's court alongside Marcy.

I was waiting for someone to make a fic about that or just an au in general (I'm not the best at writing but I do consume a lot of fics lol), and then I stumbled on your blog and I found exactly what i've been looking for!!!

I just rlly like all the little tidbits you shared already, so I made some fanart for it, if you don't mind. It's mostly just V!Simon though :>

FANTASTIC OMG IM ACTUALLY DYING TY TY TY ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I love all the outfits you made for him, I feel like they'd go really well with the ones we see Star!Marcy wearing! My favorite has to be the red one, its so regal and beautiful especially with those gloves and those ruffled cravat/sleeves/coat!

(That middle look in the second pic looks more like a survival outfit, me thinks Simon might don it during an escape attempt from the hive or maybe in the rare times he's out doing work for the king)

I also love the big fluffy braid but his BUN tho 🙏🏻. I've seen pics of Simon in the AT comics with his hair up but him w/ that & the white hair is just something else, its sooo good

I also really like his half moon glasses, a small shake up from his ordinary round ones. Its such a small difference but I really like the way they look on him!

Thank u so much for sharing your art!!

[redwinelew]

the boy is mine | lewis hamilton [3/3]

social media au. latina + singer!reader

summary — a certain formula 1 driver caught your attention, and you can't help but let the whole world know about your attraction. (read part one and two here)

face claim — rosalia

song — the boy is mine by ariana grande

warnings — none!

author's note — apologize that pt3 took so long!! i got sick lol. but here's the final part!! i love this series so much and i hope u guys enjoyed it as much as i loved making it!

all pictures taken from pinterest. credit to owners.

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f1wagsupdates YN LN supporting Lewis Hamilton at the Belgium Grand Prix today!

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user1 omg yn wag debut 🙏🏼

user2 lewis already lurking in the likes 😭😭

user3 their smiles 😭🩷

user4 bringing her to the merc garage already.... chat how serious do we think they are

user5 user4 probably just friends. personally i do not see this progressing as an actual relationship

user6 user5 i hope not cause they look so adorable together though :(

user7 user6 honestly if yn hornily wrote "bed chem" about lewis then "guess" WITH lewis and still failed to get the man it'd be so hilarious lmfao

user6 user7 it'd be HIS loss though imagine fumbling someone like yn 🙏🏼

user7 user6 fair enough

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ynln george in the back bcs that pic didn't match the aesthetic of my feed

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ynln also congrats on the win or whatever lewishamilton

lewishamilton ynln ouch

lewishamilton ynln congratulating me as a second thought? i regret inviting you already

ynln lewishamilton i would've been there either way 🙏🏼

lewishamilton ynln if i recall correctly you said showing up at the race is a bad idea and that people would talk

ynln lewishamilton i didn't say i wouldn't be there period 🙏🏼 i had to show otherwise you would have lost

lewishamilton ynln my good luck charm ❤️❤️ this is why i love you

ynln lewishamilton i know right you are soooo lucky to have me

user1 ynln lewishamilton damn should we leave????

user2 user1 FR LIKE YN ARE WE INTERRUPTING SOMETHING 😭😭

user3 ynln lewishamilton oh my god they are DATING dating i'm freaking out like crazy right now

user4 ynln lewishamilton SHE GOT THE BOY

user5 ynln lewishamilton omw to write a horny love song about my crush so he'd like me back brb 🏃🏻‍♀️🌬️

georgerussell63 i'm hurt yn and i already got dsq

user6 georgerussell63 LMFAO POOR GEORGE 😭😭

carmenmmundt loved talking to you we should hang out soon!!

ynln carmenmmundt would love to!! text me babe

user7 carmenmmundt ynln they're bffs already omg

user8 user7 mercedes wags have to stick together 🙏🏼

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lewishamilton the win might be mine but this boy is forever hers ❤️

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ynln OKAYYYY

ynln i'm putting that caption in the song btw

lewishamilton ynln you can take full credit baby

ynln lewishamilton ofc i am you wouldn't be coming up with that clever ass caption if it wasn't me 🙏🏼

user1 ynln WHAT SONG

user2 ynln DON'T IGNORE US

user3 ynln she's so 😭😭

user4 THEY ARE HARD LAUNCHING EVERYBODY STAY FUCKING CALM

user5 this is so crazy we already seen them saying i love you on this app PUBLICLY and yet i still can't believe they are actually dating rn 😭😭

user6 user5 I KNOW RIGHT and to rhink this all started bcs she was down bad for this man 😭😭

user5 user6 she's giving me the courage to confess to my crush but i just KNOW as soon as i try i'd fumble it so bad

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[adickaboutspoons]

The thing with Mother Teach is that it's SO interesting & layered, because it IS her trying to temper his expectations as a way of protecting him from a society that WILL punish a brown boy for aspiring above his "God-sanctioned station" in life, but that doesn't mean that it's not abusive. She is perpetuating the religious abuse inflicted upon her by unquestioningly accepting her assigned-by-providence caste & indoctrinating her son to believe the same. Yes, things sure do SEEM unfair, but we aren't allowed to question it, because the people in charge of disseminating the Word of God (who almost certainly also happen to be white & part of the colonial power structure) said it's right, & therefore we just have to accept that we're wrong to suppose it's not. It's using religion as a cudgel to keep people in their place, & discourage both social mobility & reasonable questioning of the status quo (&, considering that we know that Grown Ed HAS accrued the wealth his mother claimed was not for people like them & yet is still barred from the social position that should accompany it, the show gives us a beautifully subtle critique of this iteration of what is essentially the prosperity gospel). I just feel like fandom would do well to come to terms with the fact that a parent can do their very best, try to protect their child, & still be abusive. (I'm going to go a little further & throw Nana under the religious abuse bus & say her portrayal, & Ed's mom, present a more nuanced & realistic take on the abuser than the unrelenting monsters that were Ed & Stede's dads. They're complicated; loving & supportive (as long as you're Acting Correctly), often coming across to outsiders as likable & sympathetic, thus it's not immediately obvious what total shitstains they also are & what devastation they have wreaked upon their child's sense of self-worth). In re: point 3, the princessification babygirlifying of Ed has long troubled me, because it sands away &/or ignores the less acceptable parts of his personality in order to make him sufficiently demure to be palatable. Yes, he fancies a fine fabric, but he ALSO enjoys a good maim. He was visibly excited about the prospect of hobnobbing with posh knobs, but also clearly had a blast with Calico Jack's macho bullshit. It's not an either-or prospect. Focusing on one to the exclusion of the other is detrimental to the complexity & depth of his character (I'm looking at you, DJenks, & your "Ed is a soft uwu baby who can't be arsed to do any of the hard work it takes to actually run an inn" fic. While we're on the topic, I don't love how babygirlifying Ed not only perpetuates racist ideas that a MOC needs to be made completely nonthreatening to be lovable, but the princessification also perpetuates racist stereotypes of lazy POC who need a Strong (White) Hand to keep them in line). I also don't love the "Ed wearing the depression robe/painting himself as a bride is canon confirmation of his preferred gender presentation/he is canonically trans" take. Quite aside from the insipidity of the position that Ed painting himself as a bride = Ed literally wants to be a bride (OP's Doylist breakdown above is god-tier, but even from a Watsonian perspective, it's not like he had another groom doll to paint. FFS, did you expect him to whittle it down until his dolly had trousers too?), the idea that Ed wearing the depression robe is him dabbling in feminine presentation is troubling. Multiple times in S1 Stede is called a woman when he's wearing his robes, & we're ALWAYS meant to understand the person saying it was 1) wrong, & 2) a fucking bully gatekeeping the standard of masculinity. So if Stede can wear the exact same robe & we're still meant to understand him as Sufficiently Masculine, why would we be meant to understand Ed as Feminine? Are you not aligning yourself with the asshole bullies who derided Stede by thinking as much? What is different about Ed that makes him in the robe Feminine?

an incomplete list of terrible but extremely popular Our Flag Means Death takes that I would like to never see again please

(and I do mean popular, as in, lots of people seem to think they're canon, to the point where I feel slightly insane and like I was watching a different show to everyone else)

1. Ed's mum was loving and nice and supportive, if hampered by her bad situation

this comes up more in fic than analysis, to be fair, but good god, what show were some of you watching? this isn't to vilify her, because yeah, she's clearly a product of colonialism, white christian supremacy, and domestic abuse, but like. that doesn't make how she raised Ed good. clearly she was trying to keep him safe, but "we don't deserve nice things", and especially "it's not up to us, it's up to god", speaks to me of someone who squashes down any ambition on her son's part, has fully bought into the lies of christian colonialism, and tries to pass them down to her son.

as does happen in colonised communities, particularly among older generations. I know us white people like to think that every indigenous person is a perfect left-wing anti-imperial activist, but that's simply not the case, and Ed's mum is so clearly an example of an older conservative christian indigenous parent who had to believe the lies told by their coloniser in order to survive, but is now passing on that trauma to their children. and I just...

if I read one more fic where Ed's mum is a perfect loving supportive angel who always believed in her kid and always supported and protected him, I'm gonna scream. yes, it's sweet, and it's fun to sometimes veer from canon and give your blorbo nice things, but it's still veering from canon. and yet, I see very few people acknowledge that, or actually talk about the nuances of Ed's mother, and how she definitely tried to protect him, but was far from sweet, doting, and unconditionally supportive.

2. Ed's loving look when Stede is picking food from his beard in 1x07

like most of these things, I enjoyed it as a joke or exaggeration at first, until I realised that people were actually being serious. but every time I watch that scene, I see Ed looking absently-mindedly over Stede's shoulder, because a) that's what you do when someone leans in to pick something off you, and b) surely the point of the scene is that they're so comfortable and easy together that they don't notice the intimacy of what they're doing, but Lucius, an outside observer, thinks it's obvious. right?? I can't be the only one seeing it???

[sigh]

anyway. finally, the really really big one:

3. Ed is a soft uwu babygirl princess femme bottom sub who loves her cat collar and is teaching Stede how to dom him in the "say you're the captain" scene

I mean, there's not much to say except to link to duke's absolutely phenomenal twitter thread about "how the 'babygirlfication' and infantilization of ofmd ed teach is an extension of racist perceptions of indigenous men being inherently violent and thus needing to be emasculated to be considered sympathetic"

but especially That One Fucking Scene, good lord. talk about taking shit out of context. everyone looked at a slowed-down gif of one shot in the trailer and cried "babygirl!! he's such a simp, he just wants to be dommed!!", when actually that scene is about how a) Stede is cringefail and terrible at being a typical harsh, commanding pirate, and b) Ed is lovingly embarrassed by this. he encourages Stede to assert himself (and give Ed something to do during his probation/help him make amends with the crew), but like. normally. he's acting perfectly normal in that scene, and mostly annoyed by the outfit and embarrassed by how badly Stede fails. but just because he's sitting down while Stede is standing, and he happens to take a breath in that one shot (because, you know, people breathe sometimes), everyone's doubled down on their "submissive babygirl" bullshit, and I can't get the fuck away from it.

which - listen, it's fun for me, too! it's fun to explore exaggerated aspects of a character, it's fun to read/write/draw that angle in smut, I get it! but I keep seeing people keep claim it's literally canon, and I cannot stress enough that that is Straight Up False. for the love of god, please just watch the show without your (potentially kinda racist) bias glasses on, and remember to treat the characters with respect instead of projecting onto their every interaction a shallow dom/sub binary just because you find it hot.

Our Flag is a show very specifically about masculinity, and what it means to be a man; how assumptions about that can harm and restrict men; and how men can grow beyond them. it's a nuanced and sympathetic examination of this. the whole point is that Ed is allowed to like nice fabrics and be tired of violent piracy and still be a man. the point is that two men fall in love - equal, honest, sincere love - and are still men, still exactly who they are.

(on that note, insisting that Ed is canonically trans or femme because of these things often ends up just leaning into gendered stereotypes: men are harsh and active and dominant, and women are soft and passive and submissive, and if Ed's not the former, he must be the latter, right? it also tends to hetero-ify the central relationship, casting Stede as "the boy" and Ed as "the girl", needing one to be masc and one femme. not always, and again, I understand and have enjoyed transformative works that take those elements and run with them, and explore what the story could be like if Ed were trans/nb/etc - but it's still a transformative interpretation. it's not canon.)

relatedly: those fucking wedding toppers! it seemed blatantly obvious to me that half the point of those scenes was that Ed is distraught and blaming himself for Stede leaving because he wasn't the ideal partner. it's his entire arc for the first half of season 2! Ed hates himself and believes there's something wrong about him that makes him unlovable. so he keeps and then discards the wedding toppers, painting himself onto one of them, because he's projecting himself onto an image of ideal/successful romantic love that he thinks Stede wants, and in which he doesn't fit. he's trying to mould himself into someone else to make himself lovable, not realising that Stede already loves him for himself.

so it's important to the whole narrative that Ed's yearning for/projection onto the wedding toppers is false, and born from his insecurity. he gets drunk, and play-acts a stereotypical image of romantic happiness into which he doesn't fit, but real love looks nothing like that, because real love isn't found in stifling hegemonic cultural structures, but honest, emotional connections between people allowed to be their whole, vulnerable selves. Stede is not like the groom, and Ed is not like the bride, because they shouldn't have to be. Ed should not (and does not) have to warp himself into a demure bride in order to be worthy of love: he's already lovable and loved exactly as he is! that's the point!! of the scene!!!!!!

like, it's important that the groom figure isn't actually like Stede, either. yes, it's blond and has a nice, peach-coloured suit, but a) Stede was very specifically unhappy in the posh, heterosexual, married state the figures represent, and b) Stede by this point looks nothing like that figurine. it's directly contrasted with the image of him in the rowboat, scruffy and plain and earnestly in love, rather than fancy, cold ceramic.

[EDIT 29/12/24: I ended up writing a whole Twitter essay about the wedding cake toppers that I then gussied up for Tumblr; so if you want a clearer, more substantial, and better supported argument about those, check that out!]

but no, I have to wade through swathes of art and fic and meta about how badly Ed wants to be a sweet little demure kitty princess, how he wants a wedding night and a ring to prove he's Stede's property, and acting as if this is somehow canon, because people on the internet have zero reading comprehension and are scared of brown men.

the whole point of Our Flag is that you don't need to compress yourself into prescribed social roles, and in fact, doing so will only make you miserable; and that racist, patriarchal, colonial institutions should be resisted and dismantled at every opportunity.

so tell me again why the ultimate message is that Ed and Stede should get married under an arch in front of an altar and their lined-up friends, with flowers and rice falling around them, all dressed in white, one in a suit and one in a dress, with rings and a kiss and a honeymoon after, before they move into a detached house with a yard and a fence and re-adopt the kids that Stede abandoned? and this isn't about promises, fidelity, or even monogamy - I'm specifically talking about everyone in this fandom who seems to think that the ultimate goal is the most stereotypical 20th century cisheteropatriarchal christian wedding, but with the name "matelotage" slapped on top, as if that takes away all of the underlying baggage.

just - I know we're all meant to hate men and masculinity and yadda yadda yadda, but actually, to be earnest for a second, men deserve respect too, because all people and all genders do. and two men are allowed to be in a relationship and still both be men - complex men, with their own, layered relationships to their gender - without having to fall into neatly-arranged dom/sub masc/femme roles, or seal the deal with a hegemonically-approved ceremony.

so please, stop reducing an indigenous lead character to a caricature of a femme uwu princess bottom just because he has long hair, wore a robe once, and you're too scared of brown men to imagine him with proper agency. and then please, for the love of god, stop claiming that that interpretation is canon.