#this was a cultural reset / the outfit the hair the performance

[yibo-wang]

Yibo's performance for Street Dance Of China S3

[ficsforeren]

Kana, what are all the MBTI personalities of all your Erens?

Why stop there? Let's go all the way, baby 😏

Rockstar Eren from The Last Song and In Another Life:

Age: 25-years-old

Smells like: Oud Wood by Tom Ford or Sauvage by Dior (woodsy but also warm with spice, like vanilla)

Favorite outfits: band tee (Nirvana, Metallica), dark ripped jeans, combat boots and black leather jacket

Height: 183 cm (same as canon)

Hairstyle: he has shoulder-length hair, ties it up in a bun 90% percent of the time (but in a very messy way) 'cause he hates it when he has his hair sticking to his nape from sweat. he has short hair (cabin eren style) when he proposed and got married but he grows it out again when he becomes a dad 'cause he knows his daughter likes to braid his hair.

Appearance: His face was always porcelain-smooth in The Last Song but In Another Life he embraces his facial hair (not too much, just like the perfect amount of hotness and he rubs his stubbles against his wife's cheek whenever he kisses her because she hates it)

Personality type: Advocate (INFJ)

Favorite color: black (yes, he hasn't moved on from his emo stage), but now he likes red better because his wife always look 100000 times hotter in red (that lingerie she wore on the day he came back from his tour? that was a cultural reset for him)

Favorite food: dark chocolate caramel pudding

Favorite drink: coffee that's just as bitter as his soul

Favorite things to do: cooking breakfast together with irene, having an hour long bubble bath with Jace, performing on the stage, and having his wife sit on his face the first thing in the morning and having kinky sex after he read his child's bedtime story (crying over his unrequited love used to be his favorite past time too but thank god we've moved past that)

Dick size: solid 8-inches

Knight Eren from The Secrets Between Us:

Age: 19 years-old

Smells like: Florentine Iris by Ermenegildo Zegna Essenze (jasmine, bergamot, and violet, smells like spring, it's like florals for men)

Favorite outfits: whatever the hell it is that hot men wear during medieval times lmao oh and he carries a dagger around his hips.

Height: 183 cm

Hairstyle: at the beginning of the story he has mid-length hair and he tied it up into a cute ponytail during sword training. later on, he grows it out until it reaches down to his shoulders and ties it up in a bun but he often wears it loose whenever he's alone with his princess (cause he knows she loves to card her fingers through his hair)

Appearance: his cheeks are just as smooth as a baby's ass. he can't grow out facial hair even if he tries.

Personality type: Defender (ISFJ)

Favorite color: the color of whatever water lilies that bloom that day

Favorite food: princess' ***** (BREAD, YOU PERVERT, SHE BAKED SOME BREAD FOR HIM ONE TIME AND HE LOVED IT)

Favorite drink: ale, probably? like beer, but in medieval times

Favorite things to do: eating princess' ***** (definitely not bread this time 😏), sword training with Levi and hunting wild boars

Dick size: 7.2 inches (he's still growing)

Zombie Fighter/Himbo Eren from Never Let Me Go:

Age: 21-years-old

Smells like: sweat and dirt and blood Gucci's Last Day of Summer (because he smells like summer duh)

Favorite outfits: cargo pants, black sleeveless shirt/wifebeater, red leather jacket, fingerless gloves, combat boots, thigh harnesses (the world is ending and he's hotter than a metal slide in the summer)

Height: 193 cm (yep, taller than jean even. on your knees, bitches)

Hairstyle: he has paths eren's hair but always ties it up in a bun when he goes out cause he can't risk getting his hair in his eyes when he's facing flesh-eating zombies

Appearance: His facial hair grows so fast that he can probably grow out a damn beard within like ten days or something. he shaves often though.

Personality type: Campaigner (ENFP)

Favorite color: Always says black cause he's embarrassed to admit that his favorite color is actually pink light red (because that was his mother's fav color. he's a mama's boy what can I say?)

Favorite food: Carla's poached eggs (I'm gonna fucking cry)

Favorite drink: hazelnut coffee or Corona (the beer, not the virus. himbo has had enough with viruses)

Favorite things to do: he used to love playing games so much (Overwatch, The Witcher 3, Days Gone) and binging TV shows. Now, his most favorite thing to do is tucking his girlfriend's hair behind her ear and having her ride his abs but sshhhh.

Dick size: 8.3 inches (prayer circle for y/n's coochie)

CEO Eren from A Little Too Personal:

Age: 30-years-old

Smells like: Men In Black by Bvlgari (warm spice, woods, leather, rum, vanilla, its sooo sexy)

Favorite outfits: Simple clothes. Plain t-shirts. Black jeans. Plain black hoodies or leather jacket if he’s riding his bike. Wears necklaces, earrings, and other jewelry when he’s not working. Hates wearing his stuffy suits to work.

Personality type: Adventurer (ISFP)

Height: 189 cm

Hairstyle: depends. At work its pulled back into a bun. Otherwise it’s usually loose. When he’s cooking he tends to tie it back into a ponytail or a bun.

Appearance: Wears contacts and hates to be seen wearing glasses (key word: gets embarrassed being seen wearing glasses). Clean shaven.

Favorite color: definitely black.

Favorite food: Korean food. And danishes (lets pretend its not carla's danishes uwu).

Favorite drink: secretly loves strawberry shakes. Pretends his favorite drink is coffee.

Favorite things to do: absolute foodie. Loves exploring new foods/places, but also loves cooking and spending the night in when he wants to recharge. He’s spent an entire weekend in a hotel room with his lady and he didn’t regret a thing, so he most definitely wouldn’t mind being glued to his bed, either.

Dick size: solid 8-inches

Idol Eren from Keep It Between Us

Age: 24-years-old

Smells like: K by Dolce and Gabbana (It smells like fruits and a bit of woodsy 'cause he's fruity the bottle even has a crown cap that serves as a daily reminder who's the fucking boss in this town except ceo he can be the boss of him)

Favorite outfits: crop tops with chains umm well since he usually wears crazy outfits on stage, I think he would love to just dress himself up in an oversized hoodie or sweaters preferably ones that belong to CEO Eren and sweat pants.

Personality type: a slut Entertainer (ESFP)

Height: 179 cm (he's a shorty!!!)

Hairstyle: he has mid-length hair but his stylist always ties it up in a tiny bun/ponytail whenever he's on stage to give him an iconic look. he usually just wears it down with a hairclip on the side to stop his bangs from falling over his eyes.

Appearance: has the softest, smoothest, brightest skin out of all the erens bitch drop your skincare routine cause he's pampered 24/7. has a lean body with a curvy waist and hips AND A FAT-ASS (sandra requested it). he's much more feminine looking than everyone else no wonder ceo is clapping dem cheeks.

Favorite color: whatever color that suits his mood that day

Favorite food: Korean food

Favorite drink: An iced Ristretto, ten shot, venti, with breve, five pump vanilla, seven pump caramel, four Splenda, and poured, not shaken. Yep.

Favorite things to do: having sex in public without getting caught, doing livestream videos on his onlyfans account as he fucks dancing (he used to do ballet when he was younger). his songs always have powerful choreographies with intense dance breaks and forceful hip thrusts lmao but he's actually a contemporary dancer who is so graceful with his steps and he's very expressive with his face and gestures. he might be a little fucking shit but he dances like an angel.

Dick size: 7.7 inches

College Eren from You, Me, and Your Stupid Man-Bun:

Age: 20-years-old

Smells like: Luna Rossa Sport by Prada cause I imagine he works out a lot and this is a mix of spices and fruits for post-workout. sometimes smells like weeds and cigarettes too.

Favorite outfits: denim button-down (completely unbuttoned with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows) with a black/white shirt underneath, dark blue jeans, high-top sneakers or combat boots.

Personality type: Virtuoso (ISTP)

Height: 183 cm

Hairstyle: man-bun, man-bun, man-bun

Appearance: has dark circles under his eyes sometimes from playing games all night. wears aviator sunglasses every time he drives.

Favorite color: navy blue

Favorite food: chicken wings and chinese takeouts

Favorite drink: Bud Light

Favorite things to do: tying his girlfriend's hands behind her back with his belt as he fucks her from behind, just chilling in the back of his car with his girlfriend, talking nonsense. smoking joints while having sex, or just do a movie marathon in his dorm

Dick size: 7.8 inches

Vampire Eren from Midnight Bite:

Age: 845-years-old

Smells like: Grand Soir by Maison Francis (this cologne is supposed to be like... what a night out in paris smells like)

Favorite outfits: he used to dress impeccably like a prince, you know? those outfits that those hot men wore in Reign? yeah he used to wear them too. now he just wears sweatpants and a shirt that's two sizes too big for him cause he no longer gives a fuck. he dresses like a model when he goes out at night though.

Personality type: Adventurer (ISFP)

Height: 183 cm

Hairstyle: paths eren's hair but also often wears his hair up in a bun.

Appearance: has paler complexion compared to the other erens, especially when he hasn't drunk blood in a while.

Favorite color: blood red

Favorite food: blood

Favorite drink: celery juice. nah, I'm kidding. Blood ofc and his girlfriend's cum

Favorite things to do: he doesn’t need to go to the toilet but he enjoys drawing himself a warm bubble bath for hours. He puts Michael Bublé’s songs on speaker, takes a sip of his ‘red wine’ and calls it the perfect “Bublé Bath.”

Dick size: 7.6 inches

Soldier Eren from Eternity:

Age: 22-years-old

Smells like: H24 by Hermes (it's sage and rosewood, warm and sweet just like him)

Favorite outfits: he hates wearing his marleyan uniform (it's too hot, too heavy and too formal) so if he can choose an outfit, he would probably just wear a loose shirt and track pants.

Personality type: Mediator (INFP)

Height: 183 cm

Hairstyle: Cabin Eren's hair.

Appearance: He's still young, clean-shaven, probably has the most defined abs out of all the erens (himbo has bigger biceps though asdjflalsd)

Favorite color: the color of cherry blossoms in the spring

Favorite food: none

Favorite drink: none

Favorite things to do: reading love poetries to his lover until she falls asleep in his arms and kissing her forehead before he says his goodbye

Dick size: 7.3 inches

Professor Eren from Eren’s Favorite Student:

Age: 28-years-old

Smells like: Acqua de Gio by Armani (the classy shit)

Favorite outfits: he doesn’t mind his work clothes (button down shirts, slacks, the occasional tie) but prefers to be in more casual wear.

Personality type: Debater (ENTP)

Height: 187 cm

Hairstyle: Definitely rocking the manbun.

Appearance: Has the scruffy Hobo-Eren facial hair look. Wears black-framed glasses.

Favorite color: The same shade of red as his favorite student’s lipstick.

Favorite food: anything that isn’t the university cafeteria food

Favorite drink: He loves a nice glass of Pinot Noir. Overall a fan of wines.

Favorite things to do: definitely NOT grading papers. exploring new places with his favorite student perhaps?

Dick size: 9-inches (sandra you're insane for this ohmygod, I hope he doesn't fuck a lot cause I know he's gonna send a lot of people to the hospital for real)

Secret Agent Eren from Tainted:

Age: 28-years-old

Smells like: Aventus by Creed (literally the perfume for MEN, like a mix of woodsy and fruits and spices but its so sexy)

Favorite outfits: he loves wearing a fit button-down shirt 'cause he knows he looks hot in it (gotta showcase that sculpted chest am i right). Wears Tag Heuer's most expensive watch. when he's on a mission, he wears all-black attire, from his baseball cap to his combat boots with an earpiece strapped to his ear.

Personality type: Debater (ENTP)

Height: 185 cm

Hairstyle: man-bun during missions/dates, paths eren's hair when it's his day-off.

Appearance: he can grow out his facial hair if he wants to but he keeps his face porcelain-smooth so he'll appear younger

Favorite color: canvas white (cause splatters of his victim's blood always looks more amazing on white). also it reminds him of that sexy summer dress his wife wore during their first meeting.

Favorite food: something fancy that you peasants couldn't even imagine. or french foods.

Favorite drink: expensive red wine, like, Jordan Cabernet Sauvignon

Favorite things to do: shooting his victim's head while getting a blowjob at a same time lounging on his couch, sipping on his red wine, having his wife on his lap, cockwarming him while they enjoy the sunset from their five-star hotel room.

Dick size: 8.1 inches

Homewrecker Eren from How Would You Know:

Age: 25-years-old

Smells like: Eros by Versace (it smells like summer but in a sexy way)

Favorite outfits: lazy lazy lazy. Track pants, sweatshirts, sneakers, probably not wearing a shirt. Would be shirtless 24/7 if you let him. The signs at the stores that say shoes, shirts, and pants required? Because of him.

Personality type: Commander (ENTJ)

Height: 181 cm

Hairstyle: rocking the long hair. Probably in a half-up half-down style. Or in a bun if he’s working out.

Appearance: clean-shaven.

Favorite color: red, maybe. Something bold.

Favorite food: home cooked meals from his wifey

Favorite drink: Water. What? He has to stay in peak shape. (Can you tell he’s competitive as hell?)

Favorite things to do: spending time with his kiddos. Making more kids with his wife, probably.

Dick size: Solid 7 thicc

Mafia Eren from here and here:

Age: 26-years-old

Smells like: The Jazz Club fragrance by Maison Margiela (it literally smells like a jazz club lmao like smokey, earthy, dark sexy dungeon vibes)

Favorite outfits: expensive black suit with white button down shirt and a Jaeger LeCoultre watch around his wrist. he always has three of his top buttons unfastened (mmmm dadddyyyyyy)

Personality type: Commander (ENTJ)

Height: 186 cm

Hairstyle: always rocking the man-bun.

Appearance: clean-shaven.

Favorite color: doesn't have one

Favorite food: anything that's cooked with wine or has saffron in it cause he's expensive as fuck

Favorite drink: Diva Vodka (which costs you both of your kidneys per bottle bye)

Favorite things to do: making sex tapes with heterochromatic girls and show the world who's the fucking daddy, collecting sports cars (ford mustangs are his favorite)

Dick size: 8.2 inches and thick as fuck you're gonna feel like you have 3 cocks in your mouth when you give him a sloppy toppy

HUGE THANKS to Sandra for figuring out their scents and MBTI's personality types (doing god's work as always). You are literally my twin and I love you harder than rockstar eren loves his wife.

[femsolid]

Can you recommend any accounts or resources for someone who wants to sort of "reset" her brain's expectations to include hair on women's legs, no make-up, women dressing in ways that honor the occasion as well as their own bodies? (Like whatever a healthy, non-performative woman would wear to a wedding, for example?) I have never had what anyone would call any sense of fashion or style, and frankly friends and family are excited when I refresh my t-shirt supply. But I would like to figure out clothes that I can rely on for special occasions that aren't propping up these bizarre expectations of women.

I have a body image category on my blog with lots of posts about letting go of shaving, make-up and general feminine discomfort and also a gnc tag, I find butch lesbians to be very inspirational. Personally I stick to a rule regarding all this: don't do anything that a man doesn't feel obliged to do. This works in most situations. I got rid of all uncomfortable clothing, all things tight, revealing, that put me on display. I rarely shop but when I do I go through both the female section and the male section. Comfort is my primary focus (fun is my second one), it has to be something I can move in, bend over, raise my arms, walk without feeling any pain, something that fits with my wardrobe so I don't have to waste time picking an outfit every day and I avoid clothes that show my breasts or the shape of my butt. When buying a shirt from the woman's section you can buy a size bigger than your real size. I avoid "skinny" jeans and all that crap that makes me feel naked. Just look at what men wear really. It's always based on comfort and practicality.

I stopped shaving and wearing make-up from one day to the next. Much to my surprise, the world didn't end. It's been 8 years now that I think of it! Because I'm gender non conforming my body hair doesn't clash with artificial femininity so people don't really pay attention to it. I haven't been harassed about it the way I had been in the past when I was trying to be feminine. I've been thinking of making a blog collecting imagery of unaltered women actually. I agree with you that it's important to be exposed to it, to create a counter culture if you wish. It has certainly worked on me to the point that I now look at women with make up or shaved legs and it all seems really strange and absurd to me.

We did a fun little thread where we all posted pictures of our unshaved legs once btw :) I hope this can help you feel more comfortable with yourself too.

Anyway in terms of more formal gender non conforming outfits I would again advise you to look at what men are doing and not doing. A nice shirt and an elegant jacket with flat shoes usually suffice.

[stormblessed95]

Happy Birthday Jimin!!

To celebrate here are some of my favorite Jimin stages/performances! And yes, im going to cheat a little to leave room for more links by just linking you to my previous post as well over my favorite Serendipity stages here too.

Starting of course with our most recent and newly iconic Filter live performance. Man, he BODIED everything about this

Lie is one of my all time favorite BTS songs just in general, and his stage performance for this one is always so deep and powerful and emotional. The talent blows me away. Adding also his showdown with Taemin to this song as well because he slayed.

2016 SBS Gayo when he did a contemporary stage with a bunch of other idol dancers. He nailed this. In everyday possible. I could watch this man dance forever and always

Jimin dancing with J-hope to Lie X Boy Meets Evil. POWERFUL. And he did the whole thing blindfolded. I'll never forget the GOT7 fan who was there and posted about how she was right in front and watched Hobi lead Jimin out to his spot on stage by both hands. Help position him currently since he was totally blindfolded and couldn't see anything and then kissed his forehead before running across the stage to take his place. The trust those 2 have in each other to perform these incredibly powerful dances in immense.

Predictable? Maybe. Am I adding it anyway? Absolutely. Perfect Man was a cultural reset. Jimin KNOWS it was a cultural reset too. And no lie, I Absolutely prefer their cover to the original. Jimin slayed. He slayed. And because I like pain, I'm including the cover they did for the song "As I Told You" because holy crap does Jimin shine there too.

Jimin in House of Cards. JIMIN IN HOUSE OF CARDS. Jimin in House of Cards. Jimin please. His voice, his power, his emotions, HIM. Please let us live

Fire Era Jimin is one of my favorites. That's all. That's the description. His killer moves, his voice that has both angelic tones and grit through this song. His black hair. His stage presence. I love it

WORDS NOT REQUIRED. Jimin stunning everyone with this iconic and unbelievably beautiful dance to I Need U. STUNNING

Jimins vocals and incredible moves and his flips during We are Bulletproof pt. 2. I love this song and I love him in it and I love the way he performs it

Jimin in Fake Love. This is his song, he owns it. OWNS IT. This is my favorite fancam of his Fake Love performances. He just nails it. I love it so much. I'm also including this one which the stylists made iconic in its own way too. Lol

And that's my 10 embedded links allowed 😭 but special shoutouts to Jimins iconic fan dance too. What an icon.

Another is his Butterfly solo dance opening. Just stunning and beautiful and total perfection. Both him and his dancing.

Another favorite of mine for him vocally would be Am I Wrong. Not only does he slay it with the highnotes he slays it while looking amazing and doing amazing dance moves. An angel. And you can't mention Jimin amazing moments on stage and not mention BST Jimin. Like for real for real. Whew. And you are all insane if you think I'm not including Jimin's Black Swan Solo performance because holy moly. Just Jimin in Black Swan period. That is HIS song.

I have a special attachment to this fancam of Jimin performing ON. Because he nails it plus this outfit plus the dancing plus the vocals. I have a special attachment to this fancam of Jimin performing Idol. Because he is amazing and throwing his glasses kills me. And I have a special attachment to Mic Drop Jimin. Because just oh my god his voice. Any fancam, all the fancams. I love them.

Literally I could go on FOREVER. I LOVE HIM. I love his voice. I love his artistry. I love the way he moves. I love his stage presence. He is captivating. I'll stop here otherwise I never will. There are so many more fancams that I love. So many more performances. So many songs where his voice kills me. I could talk forever.

Happy Birthday to Our Angel, Jimin. 💜💜

[mullets]

resident hyuck stan give us some underated looks of his

1. go/black on black era hyuck.... the cunty look he served is barely even talked abt now 😐 why does everybody hate the pretty girl

2. him with black hair. a cultural reset

3. this specific outfit from cherry bomb. literally where r the stages where he's wearing this 😕

4. this specific look when dream went to a basketball event to perform dunk shoot... hyuck in shorts is a Concept

5. his beautiful luscious amazing show stopping phenomenal brilliant long hair 💔 she was gone too soon

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S3 Ep20-21: Everyone's Gonna Die For Like the 3rd Time

So a few days ago I kinda tossed my phone at my bro and I was like “listen, it’s dead, don’t ask why this has happened, but I can’t get it to boot. I don’t even want to deal with it right now. I’m so over it. You fix it.” And so he fixes it by doing a factory reset and was like “so...what happened?” and I was like “I can’t say right now, it is too embarrassing.”

So, keep that story in the back of your mind as we go into this episode.

It’s a Final Threat like a Final Fantasy sort of meaning of the word Final, I see.

Anyways, a review:

Anyways, Noah has a superpower now that uses these pink balls of power. There’s only 6 of them, so it’s not quite Dragonball, unfortunately. They have some writing on them but I don’t know enough Duolingo to tell you what it is right now.

Especially since I kind of stopped using Duolingo a few months back, so now all of my limited Hiragana and few scattered kanji are gone forever. Thanks brain, glad I spent like a year trying to learn that. Domo. What I tried to go and do in order to read half my twitter feed.

YEP. THAT’S RIGHT.

Yugioh broke my freakin phone.

So anyways, I tried doing a reverse image search on my PC, which is how I got Calligraphy up there. Which I realllllly don’t think is uh...the word. Then, by using a handwriting reading website I got “to fight”, but because I have pretty BAD handwriting in English even, and because I don’t know the order of strokes for really any kanji at all, that was the only one I could find.

If y’all know Japanese, I’d be very curious as to what these are. It’s probably related to something vaguely religious as that’s been Noah’s MO this whole game.

And yes, now that my phone works again, I could just try and re download Google Translate, and give it another go, but this image might actually be cursed, as is Yugioh tradition.

(read more under the cut)

But before we do anything in this upcoming duel, Pharaoh wants to make sure to immediately tell Noah he’s a freakin weirdo as quickly as possible.

Noah is not that surprised. I mean Noah is a computer brain that’s been isolated for 6 years before going cray, he does not care if Yugi thought he were the king of England. Which Yugi was once in a spinoff game, the King of England.

We get a little explanation as to why Noah has such a God Complex (without playing a single God card, ironically) in that he likes to play this rare deck that Pegasus made that I guess Kaiba and Yugi sort of forgot about? I don’t blame them, I would also try to forget about this deck.

I like that no matter where Pegasus travels, he puts on that same Banana Republic khaki white-person uniform and just marches out there. The same outfit he wears digging in Egypt is the same outfit he wears visiting Indonesia or India or Canada wherever this is.

This is probably somewhere famous, but I don’t recall it off the top of my head, forgive me. There are a lot of massive relief sculptures in Asia.

Anyways, after that one travel through the vaguely East/South East, Pegasus had a *phase.*

Now listen, I don’t really think it’s my job as a reviewer to say if shoving vaguely religious/mythical/cultural iconography into playing cards is a good idea or a bad idea, because that’s been talked to death in a million other articles you can just go and read. Every art piece has it’s own reason to exist, and every artist is their own person with their own unique life experience. I have had to sit through so much weird ass installation art and avante garde performance art, that I have learned solely one thing about art critique. I am not art Jesus. I cannot save a piece, I cannot condemn a piece. So, I will not throw down, and I will not prop up--unless of course it is weird little shorts on your main villain matched with long black golfing socks--but I am allowed to say--

...huh?...

Remember how about ten or so episodes ago I was like, low key a little confused that it appeared like Yugioh was waltzing casually into religion territory? Remember how I was like “dude do they realize this is a reference to Lazarus? Like, they’re saying Kaiba could have been THE Lazarus?” Remember when I thought that was a big deal?

Well, Yugioh turned to itself and was like “hold my beer” and then just straight up outdid itself in so many weird ways. And don’t get me wrong, most of these cards are overall fine, nothing really all that shocking, but still like...

...OK, kid’s show. I’m sure all the children in the audience understood the references in this 100%.

Also, the fact that Noah is like “I turned to somewhat religious deities from antiquity to fight your ass” is kind of funny when you recognize he’s fighting a literal Pharaoh who has like 2000 of them of them under his belt already (counting himself). Like, nice job, Noah, you got like...12 in that deck? Congrats.

Anyway, Noah and his slightly problematic deck gets thrown by a bunch of Yugi’s cards and then Noah just plops right out of this giant dude. Or dudette. I didn’t really catch the gender on the Seraphim that is actually a fairy card. But, it was like Noah was being birthed for a second time. Well, third time, if you count when he was reborn as a robot.

So long story short, now he’s a boy again.

Noah had the foresight to put his clothes back on before he fell out of this gigantic robot god thing who’s name I’ve forgotten. A shame, it would’ve been a good gag to just see how long it takes Noah to realize he’s ass naked when he’s a robot who has no sense of touch. Or...body.

Anyways, Yugi’s friends immediately start doing what they do best, which is to trashtalk the other team so badly that it would get you tossed out of most sporting events. It backfires on them not just once but...several times, and I’m telling you, it is surprising that they never actually learned in this entire episode that all they ever had to do was shut their mouth and stop backseating.

But apparently, it’s courageous to catcall your opponent. Its a sign of undying friendship as per Yugioh law.

Anyways, we’re gonna get death 169 this episode, so stop scrolling right now and then think to yourself--who’s it gonna be. Who’s gonna be death 169?

Some of you (all of you) might know this show by heart but for those who haven’t (none of you), this’ll be our little interactive portion.

OK, here we go.

YESSSSS HE FINALLY DIED.

I knew that if I kept saying “Duke will die next” that eventually the dice fall in my favor. It took like 5 or 6 deaths before this actually happened, but can I say “called it?” Is that allowed? I’m gonna say “called it” and pretend that I called this.

Although, unfortunately, I did not call everything.

Wow, Tristan won the shipping wars! All of them! He’s death 169! So NICE!

I did not predict that at all, I honestly thought that 169 would be Duke, and Bro thought it would be Kaiba. We were both so wrong.

It makes sense though. Like he is the littlest horny monkey here. He deserves 169.

Anyway, then the sad stuff starts piling up. Just like so much sadness at once. Yugioh does not pace sadness like, at all, so you never get a chance to grieve since so many deaths are back to back in this show. And by back to back I mean, they play only one round of cards in between each death.

The writing team was so excited to kill everyone off, that it was the fastest rounds of cards I’ve ever seen this show play. We should tempt them with killing off their core cast more often.

So, seeing that half of his friends have been cursed with an eternity of being brain dead and living out their existence half alive in this weird digital universe, Pharaoh starts to doubt everything about his own abilities.

How weird is it to solve your ghost’s existential crisis when you’re trapped in some VR world he shouldn’t be able to exist in anyway?

But youknow, Pharaoh does this sometimes. Sometimes Pharaoh just gets really anxious if not enough people are telling him “It’s OK, Pharaoh, you’re basically a God. You already died once even so how could it possibly be worse? You’ll probably be OK!”

It’s the typical Yugi meltdown that accompanies every Yugi duel, except Pharaoh style, so it’s lower pitched and his hair is a little bit taller.

Noah tries to take advantage of this lapse of confidence, but Pharaoh’s melt down isn’t quite enough to make him quit a game.

Again, Noah seems constantly shocked that all of Kaiba’s friends and Kaiba himself are just incapable of putting cards down and walking away. This is like the 4th time he’s begged these kids to just stop and they just kept going.

And then, it’s time for the romance of the ages that we completely forgot existed. That’s right, shippers rejoice, YugixTea is back on the table, and it’s entirely because everyone else is dead.

Show, can you even be bothered? Like I feel so bad for y’all who shipped the canon ship because they just...forgot about y’all like...a lot.

But don’t worry, it’s still very vague, and instead of giving any sort of sentimental dialogue, Tea is just going to tear into Noah like a yummy sandwich.

Also, Tea thinks that Pharaoh has control over turning people to stone, that’s a weird thing she thinks now. 

I mean for all I know, he can totally do this. Why the hell not? Go ahead, Yugioh. Surprise me.

And then...Noah just kept her alive a little longer?

I know that he was turning people into stone every turn but did I hear that wrong or did he seriously take a turn longer to freeze Tea, just to spite her?

What is it with the Kaiba’s and Tea? I make jokes that she’s the Mom of this mess of a family, but even Noah let her live way longer than anyone else here.

He got over it, though.

And then Pharaoh decided to die.

Like he wasn’t actually dead, he was just low on lifepoints, and was like....that’s it. I’m done. Goodbye world. It was a good couple of years that I haunted the Hell out of everybody through this weird, very strange child. See you next Millennium.

And then he just kind of took a nap.

Like canonically, Pharaoh just took a nap in the middle of this duel. He is out for like...kind of a while.

Pharaoh melt-downs are kind of the worst because they do seem to involve him completely shutting down. At least in this game, he isn’t lying completely flat on his face, as I have seen him do in a duel before.

PS How does this work?

I know I’m not supposed to think about it, and I’ve held back on talking about it for 20 episodes but like...Noah uploaded the mind of Yugi. Not Pharaoh.

Pharaoh’s mind is attached to Yugi through the puzzle...but the puzzle is not attached to the computer in any way. While Yugi’s brain now has a labyrinth problem, that doesn’t mean that Pharaoh would even be here. He is a magical ghost attached to Yugi’s body which is Not Actually Here.

So like...how is this happening?

Can you seriously trap Pharaoh here in this realm? You can’t, right? Like it isn’t possible, he’s the only one who’s not ever actually here in the first place.

Like...Pharaoh should be able to just wake up in the pod, open the door, and walk right out of there, just like he did with Bakura in Season 1 when Yugi got turned into a playing card. Mind you, in Season 1, Yugi’s soul was dislodged and not his brain, but this just seems like a little bit of a retcon.

I have already thought about this more than the people who made this kid’s show, so I’ll let it go, but this is one of those things I have to try real hard not to think about because...

...if Noah has full control of all their brain functions and projects images on to their brain via hallucinations, then how can they hallucinate anything else? How can you pass out and have dreams?

Which doesn’t matter of course--this doesn’t matter to the plot really, as this is a kid’s show and so just go with it--but I have been thinking about this in the background for 20 episodes and this is where I kind of couldn’t ignore it anymore because we’re gonna dive into some hella weird territory, get ready.

So anyways, Yugi comes down like some sort of cherubic angel and it was very hammy and legit pretty funny I mean look at this.

If this were Sailor Moon, Yugi would be ass naked and have huge, beautiful fairy wings covered in holographic glitter and cherry blossoms.

I’d normally just put in a picture of the infamous last episode of Sailor Moon I’m referring to in order to make this joke complete, but knowing Tumblr I’d be flagged in like two milla-seconds because this blog gets flagged KIND OF A LOT FOR A RECAP BLOG OF A KID’S SHOW, but just google it for yourself and bear with me here cuz like,

These two?

Same energy.

I see this image and I can immediately hear that woodwind just bounce off the back of my brain. It’s like conditioned in me although I allllways skip the intro.

So in this dream/literal brain world reality that they’re walking through, despite being in a digital world, Yugi has stuffed some hand selected hallucinations that seem to have like...a personality embedded into each.

So...Yugi can just create clones in his head that act like he remembers his friends act.

Really interesting superpower there.

And yes, this does mean that Pharaoh not only has no long term memories, he flat out refuses to check on his short term data as well. He is just acting purely on a margarita mix of impulse and anxiety. He is such a freakin mess.

I can’t believe this guy went on a date once.

And like, of course this is all a metaphor for how even if your friends can’t be with you physically, their memory is enough to push you forward when you’re feeling all alone. It’s a nice moral of the story, it’s just that it’s a little spooky when it’s literal.

So yeah, Yugi has a fake Kaiba at all times just flinging insults at him from within his own mind. It’s one thing to say you got the voice of all your rivals, friends, and parents pressuring you in the back of your mind, but to literally have them always stowed there, trapped together in the back of your mind is...that’s very Yugi.

This kid needs so much help.

PS nice little frosting on the cake that that he does not store any family members in the short term memory zoo exhibit. Sorry Gramps, you were uninvited from this show in S2 when Bakura knocked you unconscious and you fell off screen and then we just...forgot to ever check up on you ever again.

I’m sure Gramps is probably fine.

DON’T THINK ABOUT IT, GUYS.

I keep thinking about it and it never comes full circle. Just--the hearts of our dead friends are in these cards, although the friends we were just talking to were absolutely fake people that Yugi has copy-pasted into his clip board in his brain hut. Also, these cards were drawn before they would have given him these cards so they didn’t...actually give him cards. They just...lodged their hearts in there real good.

Although their minds are trapped in a weird rock state and their bodies are trapped in some pods...their hearts are good to go wherever.

It doesn’t matter, in the end, Yugi played a bunch of different moves--I want to say like all six cards in the longest and most complicated Yugioh turn in the history of the Earth--in order to finally end Noah.

I can’t have nice things.

Speaking of, I forgot to mention the most tragic death of this episode.

.

.

.

He may have been resurrected, but his soul was deffo disconnected with his body, or at least my PAD data (during Monster Hunter fest even) and all of my pictures and videos are gone. My auto correcting is also really effed up now, and it’s been auto correcting in kind of...really offensive ways...and I have no idea why because it’s only been rebooted for like...2 days. So it’s almost like my phone got resurrected as an evil person or something like it got Marik’d or something. Either way, I had a fun time explaining some texts at work that my dumbass phone decided were a cool idea.

The things I do for this side blog.

Anyway, if you just got here, this is a link where you can read these from the start in chrono order.