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acourtofquestions · 5 months ago

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EMPIRE OF STORMS :

— Chapter 65 - 75 —

10 Chapters left (either a little less or more than 100 pages)

*post to be added onto as I read*

Binge-reading-day-time (to finish it off😭) Tower of Dawn at the ready, bonus chapter saved & on hand

… and whatever the heck this post template is 🤷‍♀️ to add onto with rambling & insanity & quotes & emotions so we shall see what happens… this post shall live update (idk if that works here… we’ll find out… I may also just go read in a cave for a week, grieve & wear all black, & them come out eventually… mostly it’s here because I don’t want to post 80 times & flood the feed for historical fangirl purposes (if you wanna know follow this post if not skip it :-) & more so I’m too tired (it’s been a LONG week) & too far into fangirling & feels mode to edit lol) 🤦‍♀️🙃

(of course spoiler warnings cause these 10 chapters & earlier books are on the table for discussion if not already specifically the discussion itself) & of course please be aware or give spoiler warnings for me too within interactions of this post (I am only to EoS Ch. 65 rn) and now *drumroll please* the spoiler “more” bar of safety & feed spam semi-prevention🤞

Final warning: this post will probably be ridiculously long!!! So… read at your own risk… it may be rambling, artsy, incoherent, boring, filled with nothing, or like 75 pages😅 — I mostly make these posts cause it’s fun for me to look back & see when & what I thought on a first read; I love talking fandoms with y’all about it, but like plz skip these posts if you don’t like them😂 not even I know what this will be🤣

Current Pre-Read RAMBLE:

I NEED MY BRAIN TO STOP HUMMING “HOW DID IT END”😭 — It is also replaying the John Mulaney quote: “I try to stay optimistic, even though I must admit things are getting pretty sticky.”🤣 … legit don’t think any other series has had so many problems at once, like maybe the final scenes of Deathly Hallows, but I’ve still got two more VERY (thankfully) long books… so…

Current theories (just finished Chapter 64, as previous post addressed): I think Aelin & Rowan may have had a secret wedding, both based on SJM style, the fact Rowan feels like King & Aelin will not leave him (I still don’t know why the “spark died”), and random fandom knowledge that isn’t clear but has led me to believe it. I think Elena may be Manon’s ancestor as well as Aelin’s both due to the moon white hair descriptions, Yen/Yang yet the same “dyad” vibe they have, & the eye belonging to both. I’m really hopeful that everyone’s side plots will come in handy, Aelin while lost seems to have something, Rowan’s calling all his cousins, Aedion is ready for war, we have Lysandra who’s a friggin dragon, and maybe Abraxos will show up with all the 13 and Petrah’s clan and I’m going with that because I refuse to accept any other answer. I am concerned there is going to be a betrayal of some sort, a revealing of info from long ago, and some possible faked deaths. I’m intrigued by repeating lines like the terms “endure”, “yield”, “live”, “hold the line”, or plots like “time” “ash” etc.

What the heck does Maeve want (worried about the way she gets revenge), definitely don’t trust the keys or the lock (though I’ve got faith in Manon & Aelin as a team + Dorian’s smarts), & don’t trust any of these plots. Or any of their self-sacrificial tendencies. Also I need everyone to admit there mates/soulmates already because it’s pretty dang clear *coughs* I’m looking at you Elorcan, Manorian, Lysaedion (ok I’ll give yall some credit for going slow), & ROWAELIN (my gods how have you not yet?). Also Aedion dude I love you but why are you being like this but also mood. And Rowan’s sad eyes could kill me. COME ON ELIDE SMARTS SAVE US! Let’s go team, we’ve got Ansel, let’s go Grettles SOMEONE SHOW UP AND SAVE THE DAY replenish the power LETS GO!!!

Quotes I think are about to come full circle: The Queen Who Was Promised … The Threads of Fate — hoping? Nameless is my price. — I am terrified of this one … And I’ve got a feeling the answer to your first question (ghost-Queen Elena Galathynius) is no, I don’t think I’m going to be able to forgive you for whatever you’re about to do😅😂.

Wondering?: what is Maeve’s power (I think I forgot), I still wanna know more about Fenrys & how his powers work (I’m worried about his twin), trying to remember what the stone from Kaltain is & how many Wyrdkeys we have? … why do I feel like someone’s gonna break out shadow fire… or Aelin’s water powers… just something!

Worried: it’s the Valg, and they haven’t been doing their posses/mind-trip thing (did Lysandra go through it) and with Maeve I don’t see her not having some connection to Erawan & I’m worried over all of it. Also Lorcan as a character (because this entire book he’s been under a death sentence & he would die for Elide). Rowan & Aelin because they are always ready to die together. Slightly less for Aedion cause he’s determined to fight for a life with Lysandra, hoping Lysandra shares that instead of “save my friends even if I have to die for it”. Still crying over Dorian’s line & simultaneously holding onto THE FEAR OF LOSS quote cause IT IS DESTROYING ME JUST AS MUCH so I can try to take Ardions advice and hope that’s enough torture for Maas to leave my bb’s be😂

Hoping for: that⬆️ they’ll be fine (I know it won’t be but I need this) & maybe some more throwbacks LETS GET SOME SPIDERSILK GUYS

But I’m loving the character growth, interactions, and friendships; and in a small way am stupidly optimistic (because I need them to be okay) & I know-I know, something happens I just don’t know what & don’t want to but have to & aghhhhh time to read

Chapter 65:

this is giving MAJOR NIGHTFALL vibes (with a minor in HoF Aelin’s past paralells/vibes). LETS GO FIREHEART, SHOW UP ELENA, ITS GOTTA BE EROWAN IN THE TOMB—THATS GOTTA BE GOOD—WHY DOES EVERYTHING SEEM LIKE DOOM?

I can summarize this chapter by saying the tears have begun.

LOST MEMORIES… okay this is really feeling like deathly hallows

They talk about the lock like it’s a living thing?

I’ve been watching too much TVD & now I’m scared of everyone getting trapped in coffins/sarcophagi

ALWAYS WITH “THE PRICE”

Ten years

Always that word “fool”

Wait Elena was Demi-fae? — did I miss or forget this?

Anything… but not that.

The three goddesses… wait… was one Maeve??? was one hella or annieth?? too many questions!!! too much information!!! MY SOUL HURTS! AGH!

“They were as mighty and vast and eternal as a human was to a mayfly” — how does Maas make everything so poetic

So you’re telling me Erowan is one of them too — shit — why couldn’t we have killed the duke like chapter one?😭

HOLY SHIT — Did ELENA kill Aelin’s parents?? — How many plots have been running? The world’s longest long game… this is seriously… I don’t know rather to curse say wow cry or reevaluate my life and I’m only barely in… HERE WE GO INDEED

As mad as I am at Elena I kinda think this is the worst punishment, one that isn’t yours… like… I almost pity Elena. Knowing her children were raised to die. Watching for hundreds of years as everything she loved died and fell to ruin. All because she was foolish because she wanted to save them.

She and Aelin are far more alike than I knew… but she shaped Aelin to be different… to listen… those edges have been taken off by tragedy… that Elena caused…

It’s Dorian or Aelin. It has always been one or the other. Aelin the Queen they need. Or Dorian the witches soulmate. Lambs to slaughter. — MOTHERFU-NOOOOOOOOOOOOO-No-NONONO-NOPE!☠️ I WILL NOT LOSE EITHER OF THEM — ARE YOU KIDDING ME (this isn’t the cauldron😭) … wait but is Amren one of them😅🤣? But NO! These are THE MAIN characters! We are not losing them. No. No way. Nope! — IF ROWAELIN PULLS A ROMEO & JULIET I WILL LOSE IT

Nehemia knew and that’s why she made Aelin promise😭…

Also RHIANNON CROCHAN!!! — BESTIES???

Guess I’m gonna need these rants for any chance at keeping my sanity & breathing while reading😅😂

CHAPTER 66:

YES COURT OF TERRASEN — This is all there is to say.

Why is the mention on Rhoe and Evelin getting me all emotional?

“His real father” — oh that’s why — crap does that mean Gavriels gonna die?

Okay so egging on is Aedion’s style maybe that’s what’s been going on a little bit too

Also Rowan using a flair of white light? Did he pick up some Aelin tricks?

“To alter what the gods had made to her own liking” — my gods I love her GENIUS

SHE CAN TURN HERSELF INTO SPIDERSILK — HOLY WOW — okay so can she just become anything now?

“The court that could change the world” — I don’t know whether to laugh cry scream or all of the above

A promise to Aedion🥹

I LOVE LYSANDRA — this isn’t new it’s just EVERY CHAPTER👏🫰👑

Things are going so well it’s scaring me — Oh yeah I just remembered we still don’t know how to wield the locks, only that you have to die for it (so cool, no worries, only hope is the amulet still kinda worked after… but haha… yeah that’s gonna be a problem…) thanks brain for reminding me

Rowan knows how to use the rage THAT’S how he taught Aelin

“Ice coated his veins his heart” — I think it’s also cause there’s no Manon… but we knew Rowan’s training would come in handy

What is Aedion trying to say? Die so she’s pissed and kills everyone? I’m confused… like I think I get it I think he’s saying trust in her let the others fear don’t let fear get you killed but it also doesn’t quite add up to me

She might very well end the world for rage — an ongoing one that she fears… perhaps it’s just saying how powerful she and her love and consequential rage are? At least it’s not judgement cause he does say — Maybe she should. Maybe the world deserved it.

“Maybe Manon Blackbeak would help her do it. Maybe they’d rule over the ruins together.” — what was that vision again… wait where’s Dorian in it?

Dorian is giving Cassian vibes of I only regret not having more time with you

COME ON MAELIN (whatever Manon + Aelin friendship is named) I KNOW THIS WONT END WELL BUT COME ON… I get more nervous the more Maas warns

DORIAN HAS FIRE POWER??? — Will they mistake it for Aelin?

I’ve been worried/wondering this for a while but how does magic affect the humans? Like Aelin never burns herself… maybe cause she’s fae? But she has almost cooked from the inside out… what about Dorian? Does being human mean the flame could kill him?

Still they held the line

Dorian you didn’t fail😭

“BUT ROWAN WHITETHORN HAD NOT.” — oh HECK YES — REBELLION!!! BETRAY MAEVE!!! LETS GO! WAIT WHY ARE THINGS GOING THIS WELL

A SILVER BANNER WITH A SCREAMING HAWK — trade in the owls y’all — THE WHITETHORN HOUSE — YES finally not the betrayal I feared but the one I needed YES

And now we know what he meant by he knew the flags!!!

CHAPTER 67:

ROWAN LOVES AELIN AELIN LOVES ROWAN Time to go dig up the quote I keep pondering about him looking back and laughing at what that hawk watching the drunk brawling woman would think to know she became his world and happiness and changed everything: “He knew the house flags that flew beneath Maeve's own crest. Had counted and cataloged them all day, sorting through the catacombs of his memory. Rowan slid into his clothes and waited until he'd crept into the hall before buckling his sword belt. Still gripping the doorknob, he allowed himself one last look at her. For a moment, the past snared him--for a moment, he saw her as he'd first spied her on the rooftops of Varese, drunk and battered. He'd been in hawk form, assessing his new charge, and she'd noticed him--broken and reeling, she had still spotted him there. And stuck out her tongue at him. If someone had told him that the drunken, brawling, bitter woman would become the one thing he could not live without ... Rowan shut the door.”

I can summarize this chapter with the update that I have now begun to cry happy tears

… which is also scaring me … but YAY

Rowan had told Enda of Aelin🥹 he told them all… an army of ship protection squad in every sense of the words…

He had gotten on his knees to beg for her… the only man foolish/hopeful enough to beg the gods to let him stay with the woman he loves😭 MY SOULLLLLLL

“He had told his cousin about the woman he loved, the queen whose heart burned with wildfire. He had told Enda about Erawan, and the threat of the keys, and Maeve's own desire for them.” — he had hoped

ONE chance at peace

Darkness from Morath or Maeve or both??? — also like is Morath the same as (I want to say Gannan lol why do I keep thinking Zelda) Erawan! — like all these lines about the mountain alive and all that is it actually him — cause SJM loves a good creepy mountain plot

“To fight not for the queen who had enslaved him, but the one who had saved him.”

I will consider it

MY GODS THIS MAN (male? Fae? Idk just HIM)

TERRASEN CAN BECOME THE HOME FOR ALL THE LOST WONDERFUL TRAITORS

“EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. As if they had all met, all decided to risk ruination together.”

“Rowan had not possessed an army of his own to give to Aelin. To give to Terrasen. So he had won an army for her. Through the only things Aelin had claimed were all she wanted from him. His heart. His loyalty. His friendship. And Rowan wished his Fireheart were there to see it as the House of Whitethorn slammed into Maeve's fleet, and ice and wind exploded across the waves.” — I wish Aelin could see this too😭 UR HONOR — THEM!!! His Fireheart🥹😭 — So does power run in family’s? All whitethorns possess ice & wind??? — Yeah okay Maasverse I agree Rowan wins boyfriend of the verse/century/every fandom — Like talk about a testament of character they all would for him and even Lorcan knew it and I’m taking so much time cause I am shook cause wow wow wow WOW — “Whitethorn had done it for her. All of it, for Aelin.” — is this the first time Lorcan has called her by her name (and not his “nickname”)😂

Aedion shouting for his brother😭. A true king even if he’s just boyfriend consort👏. A good man, they did it for him, he did it for her🥹. And Maeve that’s called Karma🫰 — now I’m crying happy tears

“For a heartbeat, Lorcan allowed himself to ponder it — the power of the thing that had compelled Rowan to risk it all. And Lorcan wondered if it would perhaps be the one force that Maeve, that Erawan, would not see coming.” — LOVE TRUE LOVE MORE POWERFUL…

STOP REMINDING ME OF MAEVE AND SUFFERING SARAH😅😭 WHYYYYYYY — I wish the answer was sorry Maeve can’t come to the phone right now why because she’s dead but I guess we’ve got to have more books but like can’t we get down to one villain only huh?

Yay team bro! Go Dorian and Rowan! Go Aedion! MY COURT OF TERRASEN!!! (Just imagine them + the night court *👌👌) — DONT ANYONE DIE AND RUIN THIS FOR ME

Can Maeve just summon them? How? NO! — what price does Gavriel pay? — she didn’t even show COWARD!!! — NO MAEVE IS ON THE BEACH NO NO NOOO—

Yeah actually I’m with Lorcan GO TO ELIDE NOW “He had made a promise to her first.” 🥹😭🫶 finally the love she deserves but F-WHY-MAEVE-AGH-DAMMIT-WHY — the soldiers weren’t stupid enough and I actually think both Aedion and Rowan would back him up and say GO GET ELIDE NOW… wait… is that Maeve’s plan? WAS GAVRIEL TRICKING? AGHHHHHHHHH

Maeve is far from Lorcan… but not you… Elide darling please RUN or SEE or SOMETHING — I can’t have another Elain kidnapping style situation

Who are the eight guards?

Why would a goddess have to flee from a fae queen? SOMETHING IS UP WITH MAEVE

— WHAT THE —

CHAPTER 68:

IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO ELIDE I SWEAR — Calling this chapter before even starting: I feel more fear right now. — OH WAIT IT STARTED OW AGONY NEHEMIA OW — well… this is gonna be a mess!

Better yet it’s opening line: It was AGONY!

Final update on this chapter before the book ends I want to call this one: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME CAUSE REALLY LIKE ARE YOU

HERE COMES THE PAIN THERE GOES THE SUN DODODODO

“Elena had laid these plans a thousand years ago.”

“To break her, so she could walk away from the assassin and ascend her throne.”

Worse that she would go so far into the pit of rage and despair that she wouldn’t be able to get out. Not as Celaena. Nehemia had been right.

Okay so she does have a body… that’s answered😂 — “Aelin was shaking shaking in her half-invisible body, shaking so badly she thought her skin would ripple off her bones. Manon stepped closer, perhaps the only comfort the witch knew how to offer: solidarity.” — Even Manon comforting… she knows… OW!!! Trying to picture Gilmore girls haha solidarity sister for comfort but it’s not working cause — This chapter is everything not everything like EVERYTHING but everything like EVERY PIECE OF AGONY BEHIND THE SCENES. Every scene. All at once. — ONLY ONCE — I can’t even note just gotta read cause I can’t function

Well I guess I know what I’ll be talking about in therapy this week cause I am triggered and healed and crying and shocked all in one fucking hot mess of good writing and cruel plots

The only coherent note I made was Maeve you bitch😂 so there we are this is gonna take days to process onto chapter 69

Gonna go update one of my incorrect quote posts on getting stabbed cause honestly I think my reaction would be it hurts less than Empire of Storms SOOO

Yeah had to stop typing time #1 (finished the book) resuming note updates but this THIS is when I broke (the first time) 😅

“Aelin wasn't sure she could stomach another truth. Another revelation of just how thoroughly Elena had sold her and Dorian to the gods, for the fool's mistake she'd made, not understanding the Lock's true purpose, to seal Erawan in his tomb rather than let Brannon finally end it—and send the gods to wherever they called home, dragging Erawan with them.” — Yeah I don’t think I can handle another truth either … or forgive you Elena Galathynius

THIS ISNT THE FRIGGIN CAULDRON WHY MUST THEY DIE TO UNIFY — why can’t like Dorian & Aelin go halvesies??? — maybe she just has to be willing to die NOT actually — can we just resuscitate? COME ON GUYS WE HAVE IMMORTAL HEALING MAGIC

Why is the lock JUST ONCE?

NAMELESS IS MY PRICE

“The face ... it was the same. Manon's face, and Rhiannon Crochan's. The last Crochan Queens—of two separate eras.” — I think this means a lot more — maybe the gold eyes? Which btw still have the no Valg possession theory for that

“As he forged the Amulet of Orynth. As he placed a sliver of black stone within either side, then sealed it, defiance written in every line of his body.”

“For her. For his true heir, should Elena's punishment and promise to the gods hold true. The punishment and promise that had cleaved them. That Brannon could not and would not accept. Not while he had strength left. Nameless is my price. Written right there in Wyrdmarks. The one who bore Brannon's mark, the mark of the bastard-born nameless … She would be the cost to end this. The message on the back of the Amulet of Orynth was the only warning he could offer, the only apology for what his daughter had done, even as it contained a secret inside so deadly no one must know, no one could ever be told. But there would be clues. For her. To finish what they'd started. Brannon built Elena's tomb with his own hands. Carved the messages in there for Aelin, too. The riddles and the clues. The best he could offer to explain the truth while keeping those keys hidden from the world, from powers who would use them to rule, to destroy.”

I feel sorry for Brannon… he sacrificed everything, his wife, watched his daughter fade, knowing his descendants would face a horrible death for a price he cannot pay — DON’T GO SHOWING ME A MORTAL IMMORTAL COUPLE THAT ENDS LIKE THIS — Okay do we have each of these Wyrdkeys? — THE QUEEN WAS AN ALLY? Intrigue for this witch & queen combo! — She cried for him even knowing what she knew she cried too —we all feel sorry … why can’t these “gods” deal with their own problems? — “For the mortal king he hated and had barely tolerated, but he had leashed that loathing for his daughter's sake. Even if Gavin had taken his daughter, the daughter of his soul, away from him.” — he had loved his daughter & all of his children, ever “bastard” born heir was loved… but he couldn’t save them — You don’t understand Manon… but she does… She knew SHE HAD KNOWN and she couldn’t tell him😭— “It was where he had wanted to end this all along anyway.” — THIS BETTER NOT BE FORSHADOWING — Only his heir would be able to do that. Or whoever held another key. … and Maeve wants to be that…no.No.NO. — “And then he walked into that molten river, into the burning heart of his beloved. And Brannon, King of Terrasen, Lord of Fire, did not emerge again.”

Elena’s sorry & she meant it & I’m sorry too even for her

The sapphire eyes😭 … Dorian wasn’t ready …

thieving and cowardice

“I did not know darkness would fall. I did not know that your land would suffer. Suffer as I tried to keep mine from suffering. And there were so many voices ... so many voices even before Adarlan conquered. It was those voices that woke me. The voices of those wishing for an answer, for help." Elena's eyes slid to Manon, then back to hers. "They were from all kingdoms, all races. Human, witch-kind, Fae ... But they wove a tapestry of dreams, all begging for that one thing ... A better world.” — WAIT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THE WITCH WAR TOO???

This is one of the most telling chapters of the series like HoF half truths chapter level… also one of the best written ones… like as much as it broke my heart this right here was writing at its best, emotions I haven’t felt since deathly hallows, things I haven’t seen done so well in a long long time.

The courts of dreamers…

“"Then you were born. And you were an answer to the gathering darkness, with that flame. My father's flame, my mother's might-reborn at last. — she had been watching her that long — And you were strong, Aelin. So strong, and so vulnerable. Not to outside threats, but the threat of your own heart, the isolation of your power. — and yet she knew love, she had the world fall in love over and over and it broke her heart over and over yet there she was resilient — But there were those who knew you for what you were, what you could offer. Your parents, — did they know? — their court, your great-uncle ... and Aedion. Aedion knew you were the Queen Who Was Promised without knowing what it meant, without knowing anything about you, or me, or what I did to spare my own people." — Aedion had loved her for her alone even then — The words hit her like stones. "The Queen Who Was Promised," Aelin said. "But not to the world. To the gods—to the keys." To pay the price. To be their sacrifice in order to seal the keys in the gate at last.” Deanna's appearance hadn't been only to tell her how to use the mirror, but to remind her that she belonged to them. Had a debt owed to them.” — … It is not fair that Aelin has never been free… always being reminded whether Arobynn or Maeve or the gods that she is not her own… it’s cruel to never allow such a wild soul to be truly free for even a moment. She almost has been so many times. But there’s always a catch. A clause. A horrid reminder.

Elena… what happened that night??? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED THAT NIGHT?!

“Aelin made herself stand still when that familiar, frozen wood appeared, exactly as she remembered it. — literally having to live it again what a nightmare — As she appeared, so small and young, — so young, so wild, so broken — white nightgown torn and muddy, hair wild, eyes bright with terror and grief so profound it had broken her entirely. — she’s breaking again & it’s breaking me — Frantic to reach the roaring river beyond, the bridge. There were the posts, and the forest on the other side.-Her sanctuary- EVEN MANON SWORE AT THE HORROR — She had forgotten how far that fall was. — There was so much death," Elena whispered — "So much death, and so many lights extinguished," Elena said, voice breaking. "You were so small. And you fought ... you fought so hard." "You clung to that log with all your strength. Everything had been taken from you—everything—and yet you still fought. You did not yield. And they told me to hurry, because even then their power to hold me in that solid body was fading. They said to just take you and go, but ... I hesitated. I waited until you got to that riverbank." — WHAT — WHAT —

"You died," Elena whispered. "Right there, you died. You had fought so hard, and I failed you. And in that moment, I didn't care that I'd again failed the gods, or my promise to make it right, or any of it. "All I could think was how unfair it was. You had not even lived, you had not even been given a chance ... And all those people, who had wished and waited for a better world ... You would not be there to give it to them." Oh gods. "Elena," — ELENA! — SARAH — WHAT — SOBBING

"I could not allow it. I could not endure it. Not for the gods' sake, but —but for your own." — "And then I defied them."

SHE GAVE HER TO AROBYNN — her parents had known? — he lived in Terrasen??? — but who killed them — WHAT?! — “Only a few years older than she was now.”

"I knew what he was, what he'd likely do with you. What training you would receive. But 1t was better than dead. And if you could survive, if you could grow up strong, if you had the chance to reach adulthood, I thought perhaps you could give those people who had wished and dreamed of a better world ... at least give them a chance. Help them—before the debt was called in again." — WHAT. The.

"You were so young," Elena said again. "And more than the dreamers, more than the debt ... I wanted to give you time. To at least know what it was to live.

"What was the price, Elena? What did they do to you for this?" Elena wrapped her arms around herself as the image faded, Arobynn mounting his horse, Aelin in his arms. Mist swirled again. "When it is done," Elena managed to say, "I go, too. For the time I bought you, when this game is finished, my soul will be melted back into the darkness. I will not see Gavin, or my children, or my friends ... I will be gone. Forever." "Did you know that before you—" "Yes. They told me, over and over. But ... couldn't. I couldn't do it." Aelin slid to her knees before the queen. Took Elena's tearstained face between her hands. "Nameless is my price," Aelin said, her voice breaking. Elena nodded. — OH MY GODS

A mark glowed on Aelin's brow, heating her skin. The bastard mark of Brannon. The mark of the nameless. "Mala's blood must be spent-your power must be spent. Every drop, of magic, of blood. You are the cost—to make a new Lock, and seal the keys into the gate. To make the Wyrdgate whole. — NO — Aelin said softly, "I know." She had known for some time now. Had been preparing for it as best she could. Preparing things for the others. — NO —

“Will you come with me? Help me end it once and for all?" Will you come with me, so I will not be alone? Elena nodded, but whispered, "I'm sorry." — to whatever end.

"You were barely climbing out of slavery," Elena said. "Hardly holding yourself together, trying so hard to pretend that you were still strong and whole. — OW!!!

Glacier-blue eyes met hers at last. "I know. Maeve has long wished to regain possession of the keys. My father believed it was for something other than conquest. Something darker, worse. I don't know why she only began hunting for them once you arrived. — WHAT — But I sent you to Wendlyn for the healing. — WHAT — And so you — OH MY WYRD — would ... find him. — SHE SENT HER TO HEAL; with him

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“The one who had been waiting so long for you."

“Aelin's heart cracked. "Rowan." — mine too😭

"He was a voice in the void, a secret, silent dreamer. And so were his companions. But the Fae Prince, he was .. Aelin reined in her sob. "I know. I've known for a long time." "I wanted you to know that joy, too," Elena whispered. "However briefly." "I did," Aelin managed to say. "Thank you." … the dreamers😭😭😭 — STAB ME WHY DON’T YOU

“I will be with you. Until the very end, every step of the way, I will be with you.” — BUT WILL YOU PAY FOR THE THERAPY I NOW NEED???

And now… now I truly do feel sorry for Elena… I can forgive her for what she did… it really wasn’t, I mean it isn’t her fault? — She was young. She was trying to end a war. She didn’t know. And I think Aelin and many of them may have made the same mistakes had they not known. … And she had to live losing everything, knowing everything she loves will lose, a child would have to die for her mistake, I think she got the worst punishment one that doesn’t fit the crime. I think she almost got the truest tragedy of anyone… next to Aelin of course; the lamb to the slaughter, beautiful Aelin; honestly this chapter broke my heart the most because it is the heart of why you love Aelin. She is the beautiful bright force of light and life and you love her for it in all her fiery brutal hilarious lovely strong brave ways.

“But Aelin did not fight it as Elena leaned in to kiss her brow, where that damning mark had been her whole life. A bit of chattel, branded for the slaughterhouse. Brannon's mark. The mark of the bastard-born ... the Nameless. Nameless is my price. To buy them a future, she'd pay it.” — oh hell no to the last part

“It was the only thing she could give them, her last gift to Terrasen.” — WHAT KINDA ROWAN WHITETHORN BS IS THAT — YOU WAIT TILL HE GETS WORD OF THAT — NO WE GONNA SHUT THAT ISH DOWN

“To those she loved with her heart of wildfire.” — tattooing this on my soul

Aelin knew that laugh. And knew that somehow, perhaps they had not traveled through the mists ... But they had been placed here. By whatever forces were at work, whatever gods watching. To stand in the sandy field before the turquoise sea, dead guards in Briarcliff armor slaughtered upon the nearby dunes, still bleeding out. To stand before Queen Maeve of the Fae. Elide Lochan on her knees before her-with a Fae warrior's blade at her throat. — OH MY FUCKING GODS YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME — IF ITS LORCAN BEING CONTROLLED IM GONNA BECOME A FERAL WRAITH

CHAPTER 69:

HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO ENDURE SIX MORE CHAPTERS AND A WORSE CLIFFHANGER *apologies in advance people the language is about to get rough😂 because legit WHAT THE FUCK* … is there a word for both triggered, healed, confused, personally offended, and impressed all by one passage of writing?

Me curled up in a corner rocking back and fourth and laughing about “how sad” I thought the first ACOTAR UTM passages were THEY FEEL LIKE A SITCOM NOW and I haven’t even read the final book of TOG/KoA! But I’m scared to cause I don’t think I’m gonna get so lucky that all the (🚨 SPOILER for WINGS AND RUIN🚨 Rhys & Amrens of the world get resurrected… no this series is gonna break me isn’t it HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH) *hysterics*

HERE WE GO AGAIN *sobbing to Mamma Mia!* Alternative titles currently ranked at: AND THE PAIN CONTINUES, SURE LETS SEE HOW MUCH WORSE IT CAN GET, EVEN MY DOG IS CONCERNED NOW, HOW ARE THERE FIVE MORE CHAPTERS OF THIS AND HOW WILL ANYTHING BE OKAY, I CANT DO MATH ANYMORE HOW MANY PAGES UNTIL EVERYTHINGS OKAY, I AM DEAD INSIDE

MAASVERSE KNOWS HOW TO MAKE AN ENTERANCE

My THIRTEEN THE WITCHY ANGELS YES

Okay legit stopped typing notes because 68 broke me and they were my only solace so I just just read, have finished and now am adding notes while in shock… so… HERE WE GO AGAIN… AGAIN…

Gavriel protecting his son😭 with Golden magic again Aelin?? AND PROTECTING LYSANDRA BECAUSE THAT IS PROTECTING HIS SON

Outgunned WHAT outmanned WHAT outnumbered WHAT… come on Aelin Mastermind & Rowan!!! Don’t let us be outplanned😅😅😬🫥🫡

I wish that bitch wasn’t about to be all y’all’s problem

Why does his sword arm hurt sound so funny in the midst of chaos or am I just in hysterics

Aedion used the reprieve to whirl to Lysandra. Blood from his own wounds and ones he'd inflicted covered him, mixing with the sweat running down his skin. He said to the shifter, "I want you to run." Lysandra turned a fuzzy head toward him, pale green eyes narrowing slightly. — everytime they describe her in a different form I can’t help but giggle and feel happy, also I love her mannerisms — Aedion held that gaze. "You turn into a bird or a moth or a fish-I don't rutting care-and you go. If we're about to fall, you run. That's an order." She hissed, as if to say, You don't give me orders. "I technically outrank you," he said, slashing his sword down his shield to clear it of two protruding arrows as they again swung in toward another ship crammed full of well-rested Fae warriors. "So you'll run. Or I'll kick your ass in the Afterworld." — it’s giving my ghost won’t associate with your ghost/I’ll kill you if you die vibes 😂 — Lysandra stalked up to him. A lesser man — so a greater woman wouldn’t beg but a lesser man would’ve backed awary cool thanks Taylor & Sarah I made a note😂 — might have backed away from a predator that big prowling close. Some of his own soldiers did. But Aedion held his ground as she rose on her back legs, those huge paws settling on his shoulders, and brought her bloodied feline face up to his. Her wet whiskers twitched. Lysandra leaned in and nuzzled his cheek, his neck. Then she trotted back to her place, blood splashing beneath her silent paws. When she deigned to glance his way, spitting blood onto the deck, Aedion said softly, "The next time, do that in your human form." — HE USED THE REPRIEVE TO ASK HER TO RUN (Aedion you always make any small temporary idiocy up) also cackling that last line GLORIOUS😂

“It was the last mistake the male made.” — yeah girl (she put the grrr in girl?😂 I LOST IT OKAY)

Okay well that’s a description when you say killing THREE TIMES

The fact Dorian thinks Aedion is hurt (which btw bro why did you give me a heart attack) but because he hears Lysandra roar for him

WHEN I TELL YOU I STARTED CACKLING KICKING SCREAMING AND CRYING I AM NOT KIDDING — A wivern with shimmering wings — MY BABY — MAASVERSE KNOWS HOW TO MAKE A ENTRANCE AND I JUST KNEW IT — wicked delight — !!!

CHAPTER 70:

“I think I can finally breathe” — BECAUSE THANK GODS THE THIRTEEN AND ABRAXOS AND ASTERIN ARE OKAY

The last time I said that while reading probably😂

I CAN FINALLY BREATHE ITS ASTERIN OH THANK GODS ITS ASTERIN AND ABRAXOS AND THE TWELEVE FOR MY THRITEEN I CANT SPELL OR TYPE OR MATH JUST AGHHHH

Lysandra knowing Abraxos roar… I love her animal buddies

TWELVE RIDERS AND THE WIVERNS AND A PALE BLUE ONE AND GOLDEN HAIRED WITCH

I KNEW ABRAXOS WOULD GO GET HELP

“Then we shall clear the field for you.” — OH HELL YES

I wish I could fly with them into glorious chaos too Lysandra

HELLO LYSAEDION ;-)

Let’s just be glad the coven is on our side and not think about it😅😅

REALLY ITS NAME IS THE NIGHTINGALE REALLY

Thanks the gods Rowan knows Maeve’s style cause umm YEAH GO NOW

FIND HER

“Flame and shadow and death” FUCK NO

Rowan choosing her best chance at survival even as it’s the most triggering thing for him and going with the team but oh gods hindsight and ugh whyyyyyy

LETS GO WIVERNS! COME ON ABRAXOS!!

Hehe yeah now the rain is pouring down… did not age well!

CHAPTER 71:

“Dreams and nightmares given form.”

Yep… opening quotes said it all…

“No crown adorned her head, for all who breathed, even the dead who slumbered, would know her for what she was. Dreams and nightmares given form; the dark face of the moon.”

Ugh she reminds me of Amarantha & it’s nauseating

What does Maeve even want/need to conquer for — WHATS THE DARKER UNDERCURRENT PLOT???

Okay so it’s just some random sentry???

Manon had gone still as death at the sight of Elide, her iron nails sliding free. — thank you, they’ve got her,

“Aelin forced a half smile to her mouth, shoved her raw, bleeding heart into a box deep inside her chest.” — & somehow that line ripped mine out

And the snark shall buy time & save the day! Hooray!

"What a joy, to learn that your usual good spirits remain undimmed in such dark days." "How could they not, when so many of your pretty males are in my company?" — nice one, point Aelin for the burn (she is the heir/queen of fire after all)

How does Maeve know her face? She was there then?? What is going on with her??? THERE IS MORE THERE!!!

"Claimed by queen, and witch, and … my Second, it seems." — for once Elide is not Malone, she has people that will look out for her, she deserves to be loved so well with protective sisters (minus the horror of the situation) I just appreciate that everyone can agree to protect the precious cinnamon roll

AELIN KNEW

Does Elide know it’s beyond Lorcan’s control? Oh OW!

Graceful as a moonbeam… do you mean Fenrys because I need some comedic relief and I’m gonna believe that

OKAY BUT LORCAN ANSWERED THAT VERY SMART he says “she has them” not Elide, not Aelin, “she” because then he doesn’t have to specify which has which while still telling the truth and not clearly masking it, and yes he does give Aelin up BUT Maeve already knew it bought some trust and time and I give him points for that smart quick response/work-around

Elide does the mind reading notes of reading people so well (autocorrect her name is not Elise!)

She had been draining her for weeks… oh gods…

Hope soared in Elide's chest. — mine too

“To sacrifice her own fleet—or part of it—to gain one prize ... This was madness. The queen was utterly insane.”

DO SOMETHING — AGREED

You can tell that Elide is an innocent among madness, she doesn’t understand, she can’t, she’s not a monster, she’s in a long-game of good players, and right here it’s heartbreaking

The fact Maeve didn’t want to kill Aelin is even more terrifying

The impact shook the world — not just like Lorcan & Rowan fighting… no this is bigger

But that means Maeve knows Aelin could beat her

“fire flickering like dying embers around her” — NONONONONONONO okay but like really gods anyone do something you want the one to wield the lock STOP IT — DO SOMETHING — NOW!

Fenrys defending her🥹😭

the young QUEEN OF FIRE (the new title)

DAMN SHE KNOWS ABOUT AEDION

Can Fenrys please get to destroy Maeve like Leah with Jane in Twilight?

“No fire left in the queen. Not one ember. And the only way Aelin could face this, accept this, was to go down swinging. Like Marion had.” — OW… ya know that part of HoF when Aelin says hitting her would hurt less… YEAH that line I feel like that

Why does Maeve not want to quarrel with witches? Perhaps the gold eyes? Perhaps the fact she could beat her?? Hmm???

Please tell me Rowan can’t feel all of this

NOOOOO

“Get up”😭😭😭 nonononononono … she’s trying and she can’t & I’m sobbing … I DID NOT NEED THIS FULL CIRCLE

An assassin, Elide reminded herself. Aelin was an assassin, and if Maeve got close enough But Maeve didn't. — DAMMIT — And those invisible hands cut the tethers on Aelin's sword belts. Goldryn thunked to the ground. — Okay so the invisible hands trick is a raw magic thing?

Gathering her strength. For one last strike. One last stand. Let the queen believe her broken. "Why?" Aelin rasped. Buying herself time… — hope, no. She’s out. No. Rowan’s coming. What will Maeve do? Be fast enough! AGH! Something is wrong & unplanned something very bad.

“Because I can't very well let you sacrifice yourself to forge a new Lock, can I? Not when you already have what I want. And I have known for a very, very long time that you would give me what I seek, Aelin Galathynius, and have taken the steps toward ensuring that.” — WHAT?! She knows??? CAN WE GET ONE BREAK?!

“But all bloodlines fade. And I knew a time would come when Brannon's flames would dim to a flicker, and I'd be poised to strike.” — what *said in lethal calm voice.

No.

ONLY YOU

WHAT

NO!

“And I saw who you were, what you were. I saw who you loved I saw your mate.”

What did she do?

WHAT DID SHE DO?

"What a powerhouse you two would be you and Prince Rowan. And any offspring of that union ..." A vicious smirk. "You and Rowan could rule this continent if you wished. But your children ... your children would be powerful enough to rule an empire that could sweep the world." Aelin closed her eyes. The Fae males were shaking their heads slowly—not believing it. "I didn't know when you would be born, but when Prince Rowan Whitethorn came into this world, when he came of age and was the strongest purebred Fae male in my realm ... you were still not there. And I knew what I would have to do. To leash you. To break you to my will, to hand over those keys without thought once you were strong and trained enough to acquire them." Aelin's shoulders shook. Tears slid out past her closed eyes. "It was so easy to tug on the right psychic thread that day Rowan saw Lyria at the market. To shove him down that other path, to trick those instincts. A slight altering of fate." "Oh, gods," Fenrys breathed.” — unpopular opinion I wish they had just allowed him to have had two mates, instead of making it so singular, allowing there to be love after death, more than one love of one’s life (she still could’ve been the cause) I just personally would’ve liked it more but why it does make Maeve really crazy SO SHIT that’s REALLL BAD and I didn’t know anyone could do that so now we’ve got some new concerns also the fact Aelin’s heart broke FOR Rowan right then

“So your mate was given to another. And I let him fall in love, let him get her with child. And then I broke him. No one ever asked how those enemy forces came to pass by his mountain home." Aelin's knees gave out completely. Only the invisible hands kept her upright as she wept. "He took the blood oath without question. And I knew that whenever you were born, whenever you'd come of age ... I'd ensure that your paths crossed, and you'd take one look at each other and I'd have you by the throat. Anything I asked for, you'd give to me. Even the keys. For your mate, you could do no less. You almost did that day in Doranelle." Slowly, Aelin slid her feet under herself again, the movement so pained that Elide cringed. But Aelin lifted her head,” — this may be the worst villain confession I’ve read… this is next level evil… there are no words.

"I will kill you," Aelin snarled at the Fae Queen. — get in line sister

"That's what you said to Rowan after you met him, wasn't it?" Maeve's faint smile lingered. — UM—OW—F-YOU-MAEVE!

"I'd pushed and pushed your mother to bring you to me, so you could meet him, so I could have you at last when Rowan felt the bond, but she refused. And we know how well that turned out for her. And during those ten years afterward, I knew you were alive. Somewhere. But when you came to me ... when you and your mate looked at each other with only hate in your eyes ... I'll admit I did not anticipate it. That I had broken Rowan Whitethorn so thoroughly that he did not recognize his own mate that you were so broken by your own pain you didn't notice, either. And when the signs appeared, the carranam bond washed away any suspicion on his part that you might be his. But not you. How long has it been, Aelin, since you realized he was your mate?" — MY FUCKING SOUL — THE ROMAN EMPIRE IS FALLING — OWOWOW — I mean I knew Aelin knew, I knew why Rowan kinda-didn’t, but Maeve… she’s a monster. Also dude what was the plan? Get Evelin to bring an 8 year old for some 200 year old guy? CREEPY!!!

Aelin said nothing, her eyes churning with rage and grief and despair. Elide whispered, "Leave her alone." — THANK YOU ELIDE FOR REPRESENTING US ALL IN REACTION AND REASON —Maeve ignored her.— RUDE! And dumb… Elide is very wise, you would do well to LISTEN!

Also having Elide’s perspective is super interesting because to her Aelin’s fight was brutal where Aelin might have thought of it as minor or Manon like a warrior it’s more of a fan perspective and you feel it all in shock even more while also thankfully not having to hear what poor Fenrys is thinking etc.

“When did you know?" — THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED THIS TALK TO GO OR WHO I WANTED IT WITH — "At Temis's temple," Aelin admitted glancing to Manon. "The moment the arrow went through his shoulder. Months ago. — NO THAT LINE, Asterin, OW — "And you've hidden it from him, no doubt to save him from any guilt regarding Lyria, any sort of emotional distress ..." Maeve clicked her tongue. "What a noble little liar you are." — she loves him so much😭 — Aelin stared at nothing, her eyes going blank. — me too — "I had planned for him to be here," Maeve said, frowning at the horizon. — I wish he was here to help or protect or fight… but I’m kinda glad he isn’t… I don’t want to see him see this… also glad this is Elide’s perspective, Aelin’s would hurt too much (though Manon WHATS THE PLAN? Come on man-on with the plan-on?) — "Since letting you two go that day in Doranelle was so that you could lead me to the keys again. I even let you think you'd gotten away with it, by freeing him. — hey, we know, but hey! Let us have hope for one ding dang second! — Maeve shrugged. "If it's any consolation, Aelin, you would have had a thousand years with Prince Rowan. Longer." — OWWWWWWWW, okay it’s fine it just means when she gets out they’re both immortal, it’s fine IT WILL ALL BE JUST FINE! — "My sister Mab's line ran true. The full powers, shifting abilities, and the immortality of the Fae. You're likely about five years away from Settling." Aelin's face crumpled. This was not a draining of magic and physical strength, but of spirit. — NOPE NOT FINE NOT FINE NOT FINE

NO. Not Cairn. Not a whip. Not Elide. No.

MAEVE I BEG YOU TOO — AND HOW DARE YOU SILENCE FENRYS

CHAPTER 72:

I can’t keep calm if Aelin doesn’t have a plan

SARAH WHAT ARE YOU DOING AGAIN

Lorcan speaking softly is even more terrifying than I thought because it isn’t the lethal calm it’s a true beg and plead

“Good—Manon would get Elide out. The witch had been waiting for Aelin to make a move, not realizing that ... she had nothing left. There was no power left for a final strike.” — even Manon is worried — Aelin has no plan, so what do I keep calm in??? MANON GET THE GIRL AND RUN RIGHT NOW

They just compared him to Rourke Farran and I want to throw up because Aelin made the connection and that hurts even more

Okay yes I’m mad at Lorcan but also I really think he’s playing the long-game and trying to save Elide who he loves… I guess I’m not surprise he’d betray Aelin & I’m glad he isn’t betraying Elide (even though betraying Aelin betrayed Elide) I just am not surprised? Frustrated? But not quite furious I guess?

"She belongs to the Ironteeth. If you have no quarrel with me, then you have no quarrel with her. Leave Elide Lochan out of it." — THANK YOU MANON

FIGHT IT!

Aelin knew Elide would fight. Would not understand that Maeve had been playing this game for centuries, and had waited until this moment, until the trap was perfect, to seize her. Aelin found Maeve smiling at her. She had played, and gambled, and lost. Maeve nodded as if to say yes. — That doesn’t mean Aelin deserves this either, it’s almost worse because she knows, she knows.

The witch knew her orders. Her task. — she’d get Elide out… but the fact that’s all Aelin is thinking about NO😭

"I will bear the keys in one hand, and Aelin Fire-Bringer in the other." — No you will not — She'd have to break her first. Kill her or break…” — this is sick, legit nauseous

Why does Cairn have to sound like Cain

"I'll go with you, I'll come with you-The girl would. The girl would face Cairn, and Maeve ... But Terrasen would need that sort of courage. If it was to survive, if it was to heal, Terrasen would need Elide Lochan. — and once again this is where I began weeping and also heard Gwyn in ACOSF all over again… and Elide had feared not being needed or wanted… their sisterhood 😭 Oh sweet Elide & Aelin WHY MAEVE WHY SARAH WHY — and I would scold Manon but she’s got a hand she’s not playing I just know it she is too uncomfortable too aware not to want to help Aelin

"Tell the others," Aelin breathed, trying to find the right words. — NO. I will not listen. Don’t you dare give a final speech Aelin Galathynius. DONT YOU DO IT! ELIDE DOES NOT NEED TO CARRY LAST WORDS FOR TEN YEARS! NOPE. NOT HAPPENINGx NOT AGAIN. NOT A CHANCE! COME ON — SOMEONE — THIS CANNOT BE THE WARNINGS I WAS GIVEN! No!

“Tell the others that I am sorry. Tell Lysandra to remember her promise, and that I will never stop being grateful.” — WHAT PROMISE?! WHAT TALK DID THEY HAVE AFTER NAMELESS

Tell Aedion ... Tell him it is not his fault, — NO TOO SOON TOO CLOSE TO HOME — and that " Her voice cracked. "I wish he'd been able to take the oath, but Terrasen will look to him now, and the lines must not break." — No! She . Did. Not. — WHATS WITH THE “LINES MUST NOT BREAK & HOLD THE LINE” LINES?

And tell Rowan… — I’m gonna need 30 minutes before I finish this sentence —

"And tell Rowan," Aelin said, fighting her own sob, "that I'm sorry I lied. But tell him it was all borrowed time anyway. Even before today, I knew it was all just borrowed time, but I still wish we'd had more of it." She fought past her trembling mouth. "Tell him he has to fight. He must save Terrasen, and remember the vows he made to me. And tell him ... tell him thank you-for walking that dark path with me back to the light."

“Aelin glanced at Lorcan, whose dark eyes were fixed on her own. And gratitude shone there. For sparing the young woman he'd given his heart to, whether he knew it or not.”

"I'm glad we met. I'm proud to know you. And I think your mother would have been proud of you, too, Elide." — somebody come zap my memory

AELIN YOUR IN THE NEVER LIST TOO

No… not the tattoo… wait is there a new add on? “Rowan’s loving words, written in the Old Language.” (Hindsight: Did they get wedding tattoos? The 15 minutes😅😂😭😂)

My god it’s more than Endovier… I don’t think books have legitimately made me cry this much in a long time

TIME COME ON BE ONE HER SIDE MOVE FASTER COME ON

Manon is telling Aelin “good luck” not Maeve isn’t she?

“Time she was grateful Elena had given her that stolen time. Grateful she had met them all, that she had seen some small part of the world, had heard such lovely music, had danced and laughed and known true friendship. Grateful that she had found Rowan. She was grateful. So Aelin Galathynius dried her tears And did not fight when Maeve strapped that beautiful iron mask over her face.” — worst Aelin Galathynius ending line yet… I’m out of words… just the quote… the quote that ruined everything 10 times over again SORRY IF YOUR READING THESE CHAPTER REVIEWS TOO OR THIS BOOK CAUSE OW THE FEELS HIT DIFFERENT

CHAPTER 73:

I don’t even know what I want from the book ending… I don’t want more Aelin… I don’t want to see Rowan find out… just show me Asterin and Abraxos with Manon & then sedate me?

SHE HAS THE KEYS — I KNEW IT! YES MANON PLAN

Let that be the cost — Oh, sweet Manon😭🖤

Come on… let that be hope; they had to forge a box to contain her that’s her power level, she’ll find a way out (so many were coming for her even in Endovier) there’s no way, now. not with Rowan. not with Manon. and Elide. and Lorcan. they’ll get to her… just go fast please

Okay good Manon’s on the lookout

Same Elide Same

Pretty sure Lorcan is lying and yeah he did this for you TO DESTROY YOU

What. A. Bitch.

ABRAXOS!!! — I needed that thank you wivern bb🥹😭 — Her heart thundered in her chest, joy sparking, but—

“For her sanity, Manon prayed that Aelin wouldn't be awake the entire time she was inside. And for the sake of their world, Manon prayed the Queen of Terrasen could survive it. If only so Aelin could then die for them all.” — WHAT KIND OF LINE IS THAT

AND HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO READ TWO MORE CHAPTERS WITHOUT ANSWERS HOPE AND IDK IT WAS ALL A DREAM

CHAPTER 74:

THERES A HOLE IN ALL OF OUR SOULS NOW

Time loop? We’re repeating phrases? None of it’s real! Let’s go with that!!

Wait THE THIRTEEN ARE TOGETHER SAFE AND SOUND WITH ELIDE AND ABRAXOS AND MANON OH THANK THE WYRD MY GIRLS I NEEDED THAT OKAY THERE OKAY THEY CAN GO GET HER ITLL ALL BE FINE

“Where is Aelin.” — no. DONT MAKE ME READ THAT SARAH — NO! Why is it not even a question😭

That better not be one of Rowan’s shirts that she stole cause again OW

What. the. FUCK?! YOU. DID. NOT. JUST. SAY. WIFE. YOU ARE NOT DOING THAT TO ME?! WHAT?! THE ACTUAL?! WHAT!

“Where is Aelin. What had he done, what had he done. Rowan hissed, "Where is my wife?" Lorcan swayed where he knelt. Wife. Wife. "Oh, gods," Elide sobbed as she overheard, the words carrying the sound of Lorcan's own fractured heart. "Oh, gods..." And for the first time in centuries, Lorcan wept. Rowan dug the dagger deeper into Lorcan's neck, even as tears slid down Lorcan's face. What that woman had done ... Aelin had known. That Lorcan had betrayed her and summoned Maeve here. That she had been living on borrowed time. And she had married Whitethorn... so Terrasen could have a king. Perhaps had been spurred into action because she knew Lorcan had already betrayed her, that Maeve was coming ... And Lorcan had not helped her. Whitethorn's wife. His mate. Aelin had let them whip and chain her, had gone willingly with Maeve, so Elide didn't enter Cairn's clutches. And it had been just as much a sacrifice for Elide as it had been a gift to him. She had bowed to Maeve. For Elide. "Please," Rowan begged, his voice breaking as that calm fury fractured.” — the fact that Rowan probably knows and can smell the blood and still begs to know because he didn’t want to believe it the fact he says please — and there is no way that that is the only reason she married him — it wasn’t the lack of time it was the level of love

“Lorcan had been wrong. He had been so wrong. And he could not entirely regret it, not if Elide was safe, but ... Aelin had refused to count. Cairn had unleashed his full strength on her with that whip, and she had refused to give them the satisfaction of counting.” — I can’t tell if Lorcan admires her strength or fears it fears how far Maeve will go

Aedion trying to clean her sword 😭

When did Dorian learn to heal?

Manon told them everything (as she should) but I didn’t think she would… and now they had to hear it… from her

“But it was Elide who then took up the thread, leaning against Lysandra, who was staring at that blood and that shirt as if it were a corpse, telling them what had happened on these dunes. What Aelin had sacrificed She told Rowan that he was Aelin's mate. Told him about Lyria. She told them about the whipping, and the mask, and the box. When Elide finished, they were silent.” — I MEAN WHAT IS THERE TO SAY — something about Elide taking up the thread — and no Aedion not what you said… man Ashryvers have TEMPERS (but fair😅)

Lysandra was going to play as Aelin… that’s what the vision told her… did she think she could trick Rowan into believing she never died? — Aedion she obviously loves you that’s not the reason why — Okay fair point bro — Even fairer point girlie — "I will not apologize to you. I serve her. And I am willing to spend the rest of my life pretending to be her so that her sacrifice isn't in vain- — WOAH REACTION UNCALLED FOR but except under the circumstances (child’s play back in school is forgiven under my rule cause ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE)

It’s hurting her changing her it’s uncaged — Endure — like lines like that that I must … how did so much change in one book… that’s part of the sad part I know they’ll get Aelin back but things won’t ever be the same

“entering a sanctuary of wings and claws and teeth.” — oh how I missed and needed them back

“I will never forget that” — no one will unfortunately, not even Lorcan… yet once again if Aelin can forgive why can’t we? It’s like Feyre with fam stuff…

Umm can someone go check on Rowan please

Asterin was alive. The Thirteen were alive. And it was joy in Manon's heart—joy, she realized, as she beheld those smiling faces and smiled back. — so happy like this is the last shred of sanity

But Abraxos found us and seemed to know where you were, so we followed him." She scratched at some dried blood on her cheek. "And saved your ass, apparently." I KNEW HE WOULD — he’s the bestest boy (is what I would say, but he feels smarter than your average pet sidekick and would probably hate that, so let’s just wish him a vacation in flower fields while manon tans and everyone’s happy for once and Aelin is not in a coffin cool? Cool. Ps oh Asterin how I missed you, man if only Fenrys and the 13 could hang out more

Not soon enough to stop this. To save Aelin Galathynius. — BUT YOU WILL

They all looked to Manon … still …

A child not of war ... but of peace.

"And will you follow me?" Manon asked them quietly. "To do what needs to be done before we can return to the Wastes?" Aelin Galathynius had not beseeched Elena for another fate. She had only asked for one thing, one request of the ancient queen: Will you come with me? For the same reason Manon had now asked them. As one, the Thirteen lifted their fingers to their brows. As one, they lowered them. Manon looked toward the sea, her throat tight. — YEAH IM NOT CRYING EITHER TOTALLY JUST THE SALT WATER (legit I don’t know at this point what’s joy sadness fear anger sleep deprivation etc. lol)

GO SAVE THE QUEEN YALL

"Aelin Galathynius willingly handed over her freedom (she did give up her freedom😭) so an Ironteeth witch could walk free," Manon said. Elide straightened, pulling from Asterin's arms. — she’s one of them🥹 — But Manon continued, "We owe her a life debt. And more than that ... It is time that we became better than our foremothers. — YAS QUEEN — We are all children of this land." — why can’t more people be like Manon — no longer just dealing in life debts but honor — "What are you going to do?" Asterin breathed, her eyes so bright. Manon looked behind them. To the north. "I am going to find the Crochans. — like the opposite same of past centuries so she’s good at it I guess — And I am going to raise an army with them. For Aelin Galathynius. And her people. And for ours." "They'll never trust us," Sorrel said. Asterin drawled, "Then we'll have to just be our charming selves." Some of them smirked; some of them shifted on their feet. Manon said again to her Thirteen, "Will you follow me?" And when they all touched their fingers to their brows again, Manon returned the gesture.”

“What Aelin had done ... what she'd lied about … Some of the blood on the ground had dried. If Aelin was gone, if her life would indeed be the cost if she ever got free …Oh, Aelin. Aelin. She'd worked Maeve into such a frenzy, made the queen so focused on capturing her that she hadn't thought to confirm if Aelin held the keys before she vanished. She'd been dealt such a wicked, impossible hand-and yet Aelin had made it count. One last time, she'd made it count.” “I am sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't help.”— the way Aedion is speaking oh beautiful buddies and Aelin oh and ugh it just feels so trapping with fate but at least we know Manon has wanted to help (as I knew she would have) but also this won’t be the last — now Dorian trust yourself as she trusts you (but ugh both houses NEITHER OF YOU DIE) but she knew but aww he would for her but good he’s got Manon protection — "Elena said Mala's bloodline can stop this. It runs in both your houses." — I like that Manon gives options not just her wishes but the full truth to decide — The golden eyes were weary-heavy. He realized what Manon was asking.

Aelin had never planned to see Terrasen again. She had married Rowan knowing she would have months at best, days at the worst, with him. But she would give Terrasen a legal king. To hold her territory together. She had made plans for all of them—and none for herself. "The quest does not end here," Dorian said softly. Manon shook her head. And he knew she meant more than the keys, than the war, as she said, "No, it does not." He took the keys from her. They throbbed and flickered, warming his palm. A foreign, horrible presence, and yet ... all that stood between them and destruction. No, the quest did not end here. Not even close. Dorian slid the keys into his pocket. And the road that now sprawled away before him, curving into unknown, awaiting shadow ... it did not frighten him. — here we go then … I mean she had to know they wouldn’t be that smart lol

I can’t even edit this post or work on autocorrects. How does this always happen? How? BREAK PART I LOST COUNT NO MORE MATH OR BRAIN CELLS TO GIVE

… *2 hours later voice* I feel like a mother-in-law learning her child eloped in Vegas and didn’t invite her for the second time

CHAPTER 75:

“Rowan had married Aelin before dawn barely two days ago.” — The first time we hear Rowan and it absolutely gutted me the hardest it could

“Rowan had known. Part of him had known that Aelin was his mate. And had turned away from that knowledge, again and again, out of respect for Lyria, out of terror for what it'd mean. He'd leapt in front of her at Skull's Bay knowing it, deep down. Knowing mates aware of the bond could not bear to harm each other, and that it might be the only force to compel her to regain control from Deanna. And even when she had proved him right ... He had turned from that”— my heart — she’d proved him right — he know AHHHH — it just hurts more — she’d known too though Ro — “Proof, still unready, pushing it from his mind even as he claimed her in every other way. Aelin had known, though. That he was her mate. And she had not pushed it, or demanded he face it, because she loved him, and he knew she'd rather carve out her own heart than cause him pain or distress.”

His Fireheart.

His equal, his friend, his lover. His wife.

His mate.

That gods-damned bitch had put her in an iron box. — yep that’s how I feel too

“His Fireheart, locked in the dark.” — NO NOT THAT LINE LIKE THIS OH OH NO😭

He’d known she was trying to tell him💔

Her IMMORTAL life (what about the mortal one?)

“It was all borrowed time anyway. Aelin did not expect them to come for her. She, who had come for them, who had found them all. She had arranged for everything to fall into place when she yielded her life. When she gave up a thousand years to save them. And Rowan knew she believed they'd make the right choice, the wise choice, and remain here. Lead their armies to victory-the armies she'd secured for them, guessing that she wouldn't be there to see it through. She did not think she'd ever see him again.” — the fact she doesn’t, she doesn’t want them to, even now she’s surprised to learn people tried on Endovier but hon they are coming just hold on and what was that final parting and the next line same dude same UTTERLY UNNACEPTABLE

“He did not accept that. He would not accept that. And he would not accept that he had found her, and she had found him, and they had survived such sorrow and pain and despair together, only to be cleaved apart. He would not accept the fate that had been dealt to her, would not accept that her life was the asking price for saving this world. Her life, or Dorian's. He would not accept it for one heartbeat.” — then don’t. Go get her. ALSO props for having Dorian on there this isn’t a kill one for the other no it’s a save both THANK YOU

Him and his cadre now… and hers…

“The sea rolled away, undulating under the clearing blue sky. He speared that bond into the world, casting it wide as a net. Flinging it out with his magic, his soul, his cracked heart. Searching for her. Fight it, he willed her, sending the words down the bond—the mating bond, which perhaps had settled into place that first moment they'd become carranam, hidden beneath flame and ice and hope for a better future. Fight her. I am coming for you. Even if it takes me thousand years. I will find you, I will find you, will find you. Only salt and wind and water answered him.” — A THOUSAND YEARS, their heart I WILL RESCUE YOU till the stars are dust

Memory? HE KNOWS EVERY STORY

Their all so numb😭

Where is she? THEY HAD COME (they didn’t abandon Terrasen) all her plans — But the young man was now close enough that Rowan could see the color of his eyes. Turquoise with a core of gold. Aedion breathed as if in a trance, "Galan." Galan Ashryver, Crown Prince of Wendlyn. The young man's eyes widened as he took in the warrior-prince. "Aedion," he said hoarsely, something like awe and grief in his face. But he blinked it away, self-assured and steady, and again asked, "Where is she?" None of them answered. Aedion demanded, "What are you doing here?" — those too telling eyes

It still smells like her😭 — OH MY WORD THE LETTER — TERRASEN REMEMBERS EVALIN ASHRYVER. DO YOU? I FOUGHT AT MISTWARD FOR YOUR PEOPLE. RETURN THE GODS-DAMNED FAVOR. — I FUCKING LOVE HER — Clever girl she knew when and who to ask

Lysandra has her MY HEART

ROWAN KNEW CAUSE HE KNEW HER TALE

Okay but legit how long can Lysandra fake it was she told all the stories

The fact he chose to be quiet like his dad I love the irony of knowing and all of them every thing she called in for them for him

WHY IS ILIAS MAKING ME CRY SO MUCH (also is it Ilias like “Iliad” with an s & no d or or like ELLE-EYE-Az or like Ill-eee—iss?)

“The Queen of the Wastes whispered, "Ilias." Ilias, son of the Mute Master of the Silent Assassins, gaped at Ansel, his back stiffening. But Rowan stepped toward the man, drawing his attention. Ilias's eyes narrowed in assessment. And he, like Galan, scanned them all, searching for a golden-haired woman who was not there. His eyes returned to Rowan as if he'd marked him as the axis of this group. In a voice hoarse from disuse, Ilias asked him, "We have come to fulfill our life debt to Celaena Sardothien—to Aelin Galathynius. "Where is she?" "You are the sessiz suikast," Dorian said, shaking his head. "The Silent Assassins of the Red Desert." Ilias nodded. And glanced at Ansel, who still seemed near vomiting, before saying to Rowan, "It seems my friend has called in many debts in addition to ours." As if the words themselves were a signal, more white-clad figures filled the dunes behind them. Dozens. Hundreds. Rowan wondered if every single assassin from that desert Keep had come to honor their debt to the young woman. A lethal legion in themselves. — They knew Rowan was the closest to her and how did Dorian know who they were

“"Tell Aelin Galathynius that Wendlyn has never forgotten Evalin Ashryver," Galan said to him, to Aedion. "Or Terrasen." I promise you that no matter how far I go, no matter the cost, when you call for my aid, I will come, Aelin had told him she'd sworn to Darrow. I'm going to call in old debts and promises. To raise an army of assassins and thieves and exiles and commoners. And she had. She had meant and accomplished every word of it.” — she doesn’t break her word… their are still many wars left

“Tears slid down Aedion's face as he silently sobbed. Where are our allies, Aelin? Where are our armies? She had taken the criticism-taken it, because he knew she hadn't wanted to disappoint them if she failed. Rowan put a hand on Aedion's shoulder.” — good job Rowan, Aedion it’s not your fault… both oh sweet AELIN😭 YALL I will defend this woman at all costs lol

“For Terrasen. For them. For a better world. Aelin Galathynius had raised an army not just to challenge Morath ... but to rattle the stars.” — now I’m sobbing on my metaphorical knees with very real non metaphor tears — if only you dared — what is it with Maas and good star quotes?

“She'd known that she would not get to lead it. But she would still hold true to her promise to Darrow: I promise you on my blood, on my family's name, that I will not turn my back on Terrasen as you have turned your back on me. And the last piece of it ... if Chaol Westfall and Nesryn Faliq could rally forces from the southern continent ... Aedion at last looked up at him, eyes wide as he came to the same realization. A chance. His wife, his mate, had bought them a fool's shot at this war. And she did not believe that they would come for her.” — they are coming, but my heart is breaking (come on Chaol, especially as I keep thinking it’s you😂or Yrene… this list is already long and that’s without all those lol) also I keep hearing Kingsley “they are coming” lol and also EVERY-TIME HE SAYS HIS WIFE

That smile ... It punched a hole through his heart. Lysandra had taught herself Aelin's smile, that bit of wickedness and delight, honed with that razor edge of cruelty. Lysandra's acting, honed in the same hellhole Aelin had learned hers, was flawless as she spoke to Galan.

“Their allies, their enemies, could not know that the immortal fire of Mala had been stolen. Leashed.”

She kept her word, FIND HER, king consort, give them a chance, TOO MUCH HAPPENING

Good job Lorcan. I love you Elide. — Healing therapy boat time! —

"I will go with you. I will help you get her back." — "Together. We'll go together."

To WHATEVER end😭

I love when they call her “Lady of Perranth”

HE CALLED HIM BROTHER🥹😭

“eyes burning bright. Rowan knew how much it killed him. But if the world believed Aelin was returning north, then one of her generals had to be at her side to lead her armies. And since Aedion commanded the loyalty of the Bane ... "Bring her back, Prince," Aedion said, voice cracking. "Bring her home." Rowan held his brother's stare and nodded. "We will see you again. All of you." — everyone come home plus ships gotta sail plus the home part ow okay and let’s take the promise as foreshadowing

Hopefully they knew in the plan Rowan would notice😅 but yeah you were probably king

"The witches fly north," Dorian said. "And I will go with them. To see if I can do what needs to be done." "Stay with us," Rowan offered. "We'll find a way to deal with the keys and the Lock and the gods—all of it." Dorian shook his head. "If you go after Maeve, the keys should be kept far away. If I can help by doing this, by finding the third will serve you better that way." — he will help … and stay with his Witchling

Rally like Aelin had said

Dorian again looked to Manon, who now smiled faintly at him. It was a smile that softened her face, made it come alive. "He won't die if I can help it," the witch said, then surveyed them all.

Hope-precious, fragile hope—stirred in Rowan's blood. — I feel it too.

BOTH of you

And then Aedion forgave him😭

THE SWORD

And we get more Sorrel and Asterin time!

THANK MANON

Red haired queen with a wolf’s smile

“Felt something stir in him-felt the bond flicker. He let the shirt drop, let the wind carry it far out to sea, far away from this blood-drenched place that reeked of pain. I will find you.” — the bond is STILL there

Chaining the wind to him, swiftly catching up with his companions now flying down the coast, he committed her scent to memory, committed that flicker in the bond to memory.

Is this the first time she hasn’t ended the book?And in paralell it’s still her but his lens? Ow?

HIS WIFE & War cry time & HER last name

“That flicker he could have sworn he felt in answer, like the fluttering heart of an ember. Unleashing a cry that set the world trembling, Prince Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius, Consort of the Queen of Terrasen, began the hunt to find his wife.”

Hope? & I WILL FIND YOU …

Final weird opinion: this was somehow both worse and better than I thought it would be? Like no one died. And there’s hope. And so many awesome things. But also Ow! Why? wtf? It made sense but also it didn’t? And WHAT?! But also it was so well done? I don’t know… perhaps pondering is needed.

Bonus chapter then back to life for me! With ToD.

(possible) BONUS chapter(s?):

Bonus Chapter 1. “Aelin & magic in Terrasen in EoS Beginning:

Why are the pages always so pretty?😂

Nice to see everyone together again for one moment (esp. now😅😬)

So was this cut cause they don’t go to Orynth?🤷‍♀️

I thought only Ellywe was burning?

Are the scars a reference to Evangeline?

So two days isn’t the book like three so this is right beginning or pre-begining? Is that what the ToD one is then too? Also any KoA?

I WANNA SEE SQUIRREL STEALING SUPPLIES LYSANDRA

“Aelin stuck out her tongue at the Fae Prince. Evangeline giggled— then quickly hid the grin when Rowan shot a look at her. The girl darted to Lysandra-wholly missing the crinkling in Rowan's eyes as she took over pampering Fleetfoot. Something tightened in Aelin's chest at Rowan's quiet amusement. He and Aedion had both been kind to the girl-knowing when to tease, when to comfort. Two bossy, overbearing older brothers-and trained, lethal killers. Gods help Evangeline when she was old enough to be interested in anyone romantically.” — why do they delete this stuff it tends to be my favorite🥹

I LOVE THEIR LITTLE FAMILY

Represent!!

Oh Aelin jsur wait till you meet Elide & you and Manon try to out-big-sister each other

“They’d have a fire-breathing bitch-queen and a shape-shifter capable of turning into the face of their nightmares waiting to have a little chat.”

“If you turn into a squirrel," Evangeline said into Lysandra's road-dusty white shirt, "will you travel on my shoulder and let me make an acorn hat for you to wear?" Aelin bit her lip, striding toward Rowan and the water before she could make the mistake of meeting Lysandra's gaze and howling. Rowan was indeed clamping his lips together, eyes dazzlingly bright.” — His eyes are so happy for once in these moments😭

Off to the woods again

Oh Oakwald

WAIT THIS SCENE😂

“Indeed, they all were inclined to make the girl happy. Evangeline had suffered enough-seen far more than a child should ever witness. Aelin and Lysandra had as well. As had Aedion, she supposed. But out of all of them... "You had a fairly happy childhood," she said, more musing than question. Rowan nodded nonetheless. "Yes— my parents faded when I was still young. But in all honesty, my uncle's house was much more... fun.” — I can appreciate the cousins more now too … so did Elena fade or is that different?

So can all Whitethorns fly? — Would that mean Aedion can shift? — okay wait it’s being addressed and the golden eagle is cool

"Would they have sided with you—against her?" "It's been so long since I bothered to spend more than a few minutes with them that I honestly don't know. I was not kind to them for a great while. I was worried that they might add more obstacles for you and me." — FORSHADOWING

That explains the cadre even more

Even with Lyria as not his mate he still loved her as did she him (she might not even have felt the bond… it explains disagreements) and the grief is still heavy … he very well might have found her anyway since so long passed and finding mates is so rare

I’d love to see the Whitethorns places like let’s see where he grew up and the houses and stuff… or just build a home together

SHE MADE A BIRD JOKE

When did he officially get banished?

"If I weren't banished from Doranelle for the rest of eternity, I'd invite you to come play house. And I'd give you two days before you were bored out of your mind and grousing to me about it." "I happen to love playing house. Nesting is an art form for me." Her lips twitched. "Don't you dare turn that into some joke about birds."

Ah yes Lysandra & Aedion’s many odd strolls😂

"You looked at me while we were running through the trees, and you smiled." She swallowed. "And you looked... you looked so alive, so wild and alive, and." She traced the contours of his mouth. "I think that was the moment when I began to want you. I didn't know it at the time, but ....I think it was then. You were real and wicked and as savage as I was, and when you saw my speed and the Fae heritage and you didn't balk ... When you only smiled at me... No one had ever done that before. You saw all of me, yet you still smiled." Rowan brushed her unbound hair out of her face. "I think we both tried for a damn long time to convince ourselves of our ... neutrality." He kissed one of her cheekbones, then the other. "I find I prefer this much more." Her toes curled inside her boots. "Likewise, Prince," — why do they cut these moments I’m so glad they at least have bonus chapter

How Rowan had wandered the wilds for ten years ... Aelin didn't like to think about it. Him alone for that long, or the grief and guilt and rage that had thrown him so far into that abyss. That even when he'd returned to civilization a decade later, he hadn't really ... lived. Yes, he'd gone off to war, gone on a thousand adventures, but ... Aelin kept close to Rowan as they made their way into the little village, hooded and cloaked.

So the king had ordered the executions even if he was trying to stop Valg he still did it

That’s why she was learning how to make water butterflies

Same age as Aelin was

Rowan really is a good magic teacher

“A laugh of joy lodged in Aelin's throat as she surveyed the fine details up close. The girl wasn't just strong. She was creative. She'd used different currents to shape patterns into the wings, the entire butterfly in constant motion within its form.” — this is just lovely, Aelin so happy, just a moment of peace

"You're like me?" The accent—the Terrasen accent, the lilt to the words ... She had not spoken to one of her people, in her own land, in ... a very long time. — once again I wish we knew the accent but I’m starting to think Scottish? Irish?

"Not as talented, but yes." And the sound of her accent, the mix of Terrasen and Adarlan... The girls chin lifted. Mistrust—a bit of fear. But courage. A great well of cour-age. The girl did not back down.

So can water magic always heal?

Aelin knew who she meant, but she still looked over her shoulder to Evangeline, who stood between Aedion and Rowan, each warrior with a hand on her shoulder. — protecting her — In the bright sun, the girl's scars were stark—-brutal. "Bad people tried to hurt her," Aelin said. "Mama says that with my magic, I could be a great healer." "You indeed could," Aelin replied, flicking her attention over to where the woman now monitored them with a stone face. "I could heal her scars one day, maybe." Aelin considered. "That is very generous of you. I suppose it would be up to my friend, though—whether she wishes to remove them." With magic-based healing, it'd still be a brutal process, but ... perhaps it was possible. "I could fix yours, too." Clever-eyed little thing. "You could do that, and a great many more things," Aelin said. She went on a bit louder, just so the adults could hear, "You could ensure your fields and farms get proper water. You could keep the fountain's well safe. And yes, you could learn to heal and tend to the sick and injured." "Where?" said a low female voice. Aelin looked to the older woman seated on the cracked fountain lip-the town's matron. "Where does she learn such things?" the woman pushed. Aelin paused. She didn't know. Had no idea. "They burned the magic academy," the woman said. "There's no place left to learn." "I know," Aelin said. "Then don't put dreams in her head," the woman snapped. Aelin's cheeks heated. But Aedion said behind her, still hidden beneath his hood, "Terrasen will be rebuilt. Give it a few years, and there will be a place."

"If war comes, if we survive, wait a year after it ends. Then come to Orynth, and find Celaena Sardothien. Go to the castle and tell them you're looking for her, and have come at last for magic lessons." — I really want this full circle (and ugh that means Aelin still believed she’d see it back then) and also so many peoples she’s helped and then all showing up in EoS

"Do not be afraid of what makes you shine brightly." — how in the world did that line get cut?

The double sided gold coin (is her head/picture on it)

Eyes so bright from Fireheart

The water butterfly followed🥹

Is the next day where we resume then?

"There is nothing to fix"

I wish they all blamed themselves less

"You don't need it, Evangeline. You're perfect as you are." — reason 5013 why I love Aedion — Lysandra was just staring at her young ward, devastation in those pale green eyes. Devastation and yet... Lysandra glanced at Aedion, who had moved to sit beside Evangeline and was showing her how to make a proper daisy chain. Aelin didn't miss the change in Lysandra's expression, even in ghost leopard form, as she took in the warrior.

Rowan knew she told the girl

“The pride in his eyes made her throat tighten. "It is an honor to serve you.” — yeah I needed that chapter after this cliffhanger ending — “But Aelin shook her head, looking at him, at Aedion, at Evangeline, and Lysandra, watching over them all. "The honor is all mine," she said softly.”

AHHHH ITS SQUIRREL LYSANDRA I AM LIVING FOR THIS — Lysandra remained in squirrel form throughout the day, and the next one after that, and wore her acorn hat as proudly as any fine lady while she rode atop Evangeline's shoulder.

Bonus Chapter 2: Chaol & Nesryn travel (pre ToD)

Actually looking forward to this I needed it and I missed them

Well I had notes but tumblr deleted them and now I’m just disappointed

Where’s the fan art and how to tell special editions / get them?

It’s chaol all in one, every side, the one I loved, the one I hated, the one he was, the one he will be

SARTAQ sounds familiar

Brutal upbringing by the sounds of that cheery deacription

Can’t wait for the map; please tell me there’s a new one

Even he knew about Rowan; that they were soulmates

Needing an additional Aedion your not style broken moment

Adventure to save and risk what they love most

She on fleek

Terrin please be in terrasin

Someone please tell them so they don’t worry when they hear and actually have letters this time pre Rifthold falls so they don’t see all that

So do they already know then about the witches?

Endure — that word again!

Old king hatred line sneak peek for tower of dawn my how much has changed

Aelin’s negotiations lol yeah it fits her vibe

He tried everyday CHAOL WESTFALL YALL

Dorian sent them with books🥹

From the moment Nehemia died OW AGAIN NO WHY AN I ALREADY CRYING

This is the HoF for Chaol? isn’t it? His healing? Taking me back to Chaolaena to break me again? — cause I’m back there again

No verbal wars😭 I miss the days of sparring and no one dying

He would beat this he would fight it YES HE WOULD

Come on with the army HURRY NOW PLEASE

How about empress??? Hmm??

Oh wait yeah!!!

Oh noooooo

How do you solve a problem like Maria but it’s Aelin lol how to describe her well maybe try 9 books

She does fall for the world, in love & apart

She’s a storm; that much is true

Empire you say??? Perhaps one of storms

Assassin queen YES

She was always her but yes it did change — He calls her Aelin now And is harsh again — then the name mix back to Celaena Aa I FELL IN LOVE WITH A FACET… so much was just said — crying again — Nesryn says Aelin’s because he knows what she meant the respect or whatever it is living there

Unfaltering THATS NESRYN

What’s her connection to SARTAQ??? Could we get a queen ally? Maybe Yrene is one of the kids of the secret assassin? Some kinda connection?

Oh Nesryn

Oh chaol

Oh the feels

Yet also needed after that ending back to the good old days and a story and I’m already hooked But also the timeline I MUSR KNOW But also so SO much and legit I’m ready to start the series now

Together.

Thank you Nesryn for that speech!!!

What conclusions? Chaol??

He’d yet to find the one that makes him want to live again 😭

See Aelin has Rowan Dorian has Chaol neither will die great we’re good then

More random thoughts out of order: so you would say he is NOT the captain now? Yay therapy ship? Did she steal another of Rolfe’s?

Quotes time cause I’m lazy & remixing:

“The beginnings of an adventure that may doom or save those they love most ...” — well that’s not concerning after this last book

“Wind Cuttor”

He wouldn't have put it past either of them to have bribed or bullied the ship's captain into yielding the room- but from the polite, cool distance with which the captain treated him and Nesryn, Chaol suspected that the Queen of Terrasen had made a point of visiting the ship before departing for her own kingdom. A suspicion that was only solidified by the handprint burned into the desk across the room.

He tried. Every day he tried to get just one of his toes to move. The empty silence that greeted him was more terrifying than those moments facing the king. — so did the king not trying to kill him?

Has a very “she never talked” “he never asked” vibe

Everything with her had been out of order from the very start. They hadn't even really become proper friends until this spring. And they certainly weren't lovers now.

“They'd vanished the moment Nehemia Ytger had died,”

Dorian appointed him the King's Hand, he was still no better than an oath-breaker, a liar, a traitor. — join the club kid

It’s interesting that Chaol’s starts acknowledging mercy as the term and Nesryn starts with merciless

"It will only get worse," — I don’t care if your talking about the sun stop it and knock on wood right this second before it comes true

“Peacefully- calmly. Not at all like the verbal sparring that had always accompanied sessions with Aelin. He wondered if it made him a bastard for not knowing what he preferred.”

“He would beat this; he would fight this.” — there’s the foreshadowing I need/want

Is there a possibility Khagan have to do with silent assassins?

Maybe Maeve’s far away place will be this continent and they can help?

The last khagan had been female a mighty empress who had made slavery illegal, paid good money to bring in artists of all kinds to enrich her cities, and opened trade routes with previous enemies, filling her empire's coffers to the point of overflowing.

Chaol wondered what it had been like to grow up in that household-to be a potential khagan heir and know your siblings might one day kill you. Though Chaol supposed it wouldn't be too different from his own upbringing. — ow lol

"How do I explain Aelin Galathynius?"

“do you still hold hope for her?" "No," he said, his voice flat and hollow. "She changed her mind; she changed—as a person. And even if she had wanted to be with me, I would not have left Dorian, and she would have gone to Terrasen, and it would never have worked. And perhaps we would have been a bit shattered by it, but whether in a year, or ten... Rowan would have been there. Waiting for her, all that time." — It’s romantic but it’s true — "That's a rather romantic view of it." But her gaze rose to his face—to the scar along his cheek, courtesy of Aelin. "She's allowed to fall in and out of love as she chooses." "And have you fallen out of love with her?" "This spring and summer was a maelstrom," he said tightly, glancing at the burned handprint peeking from beneath a stack of papers across the desk. "Between Dorian, and all that happened ... Everything fell apart. If the price of getting Dorian back was losing her, then so be it."

"Am I supposed to lie in bed and weep over it? That I was not the man she wanted? Am I supposed to mourn the fact that the dreams I had, the plans I made, were all for a woman who did not exist? Loving an assassin with no responsibilities is completely different from loving a queen with a kingdom and a world to look after. Would I have loved her if I had known from the start what she is?" He shook his head. "If I had met her now... my first instinct would have been to protect Dorian from her. I expect the hagan to feel the same." His words sank in, one by one. He added more calmly, running a hand over his face

"That's the difference. Celaena was a fraction of Aelin- both good and bad. But Aelin... She is Celaena, and she is queen, and she is the Fire-Bringer. I fell in love with a facet, and I panicked when I realized it was a fraction of the whole— when I saw that power, that heritage, and... It was not a part of my plans." He looked to the sea gleaming behind her, the wind whipping the waves. "Rowan Whitethorn saw every-thing. From the moment he met her, he saw all of Aelin. And he was not afraid. I don't blame either of them for falling in love. I don't blame her." He loosed a shuddering breath. "I was what Celaena needed after Endovier. But Rowan is who Aelin needs— forever."

"And what about what you need?" "I have never been in a position to demand the things I need. This trip... is the first." "You give and give and give," she murmured. "When will it be enough?" "It is my honor to serve." "I don't mean in that way. When have you ever been selfish?" "Stop trying to make me out to be something I'm not." She lowered her hand from his hair, the corner of her mouth tugging upward. "And what is that? A good man?" "People died because of me." — I’m glad he has her looking out for him & there it is starting weight the weight of Cain to now

“He met those dark eyes. Unfaltering will glimmered in them.” — I love that THIS is how he describes her

"You will walk again," Nesryn repeated. "And you will remember that you are a good man regardless, a brave and selfless man. You will remember that you may not have magic, but there is mighty power in the strength of ordinary people. You will remember that..." Her chest heaved, and she steadied herself with a long breath. "You will remember, Chaol," she said, "that the world needs men like you. In war, and after it. Especially after it." — well said… remembering why I fell for him & Apart over it in the first place

"I will go where I am needed most." "And if that is at my side?" "Then that is where I shall be." Her dark eyes flickered. "But I hold you to no promises, Chaol. I expect nothing." "Why?" "Because I know who I am-what I am. You turned to me last summer, after Lithaen left you for Lord Roland. You turned to me again this spring, after Aelin. I am not the first choice. But for now, it suits my own interests to be here. I enjoy your company— enjoy you." He wasn't sure how the conversation had shifted toward this. "You-you aren't some sort of consolation prize." She let out a low laugh and leaned in to kiss the top of his head. "Would you have picked me if Aelin had come running back to you? Would you have noticed my existence?" — you are NOT an eternal consolation prize Nesryn you are MORE and ooh my word Not the flashbacks, oh my old Chaolaena heart😭 — He hated words, had always preferred action. And this ... He still had nothing to say as she shut the door behind herself. — Time to learn to communicate

"You can't stop fighting. You can't stop living. Or you will never survive what's ahead."

"Says the woman who barely smiles and laughs." "Do not mistake my reserve for lack of feeling. Do not think that because I don't flash my emotions around it means that I do not have them. That I do not have hopes and fears and desires. I have had to learn to be calm, to be quiet and aloof- because growing up in a city where most people were predisposed to dislike me for my heritage, I had to be those things. And now that we are headed into war, I find that those things are gifts. But I do not shut out the world. I do not shut out life. And I think you were doing that for a long, long time before your spine was broken. Before even Aelin came along." — before celeana too — & Like Lysandra and Aelin Nesryn is always right

And he would fight like hell to keep Dorian from that fate, to save Adarlan, but ... he didn't really see the point in bothering to fall in love with the world. Not when it could be taken from him. Not with so many dangers waiting to rip them apart.

“Even with the words between them, when he awoke at dawn, Nesryn was nestled against him, her hand curled against his bare chest. Right over his heart—as if she held it gently in her palm. Chaol laid his hand over hers, listening to her steady, unfaltering breathing. He would fight-but... he wasn't quite sure how to even begin this business of living.”

Also are there any half finished or cut ones to look up? — think I got em all?

Then onto my next read ⬇️

(possible) Tower of Dawn pre-read/first start thoughts: 4 later!

Okay now it’s officially time Road here I come bright & early (hopefully) yay

#spoiler warning for fellow readers including EoS chapter 65-75 & the whole book + earlier ones #first read #currently reading #tbr list #about to read #reading reacts #read with me #read along #no spoilers please #Empire of Storms #EoS #Throne of Glass #Throne of Glass series #TOG #TOG series #Throne of Glass fandom #Maasverse #SJM #SJMaas #most quotes are probably Sarah J. Maas #bonus chapters right after Empire of Storms #Tower of Dawn is up next #KoA is last on the list but I’m excited and terrified #or utter chaos or nothing only time shall tell but here we go post template done live updates maybe to come or I’ll be back in a week lol #you’ve been warned #nonsensical ramblings probable/possible spam all the feels fangirl problems and nonsense #idk but here’s a post so we’ll see how these live updates work in one master post of all or nothing #future me sorry for what your about to read😂 idk if imma wanna remember this but here. we. go.#might be the last EoS review until re-reads as I may be bitter and ToD/KoA focused😂#also might toss some theories in for funsies

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vixionstrideriv · 1 year ago

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On one hand, I agree. I always do a roleplay playthrough of Soulsbourne games for my first run, which means I am pretty much walking everywhere. HOWEVER, where I disagree and still insist that Dark Souls II is not as good as Dark Souls is in HOW it makes you wander.

Let's start with Dark Souls. In DS1, you're given an amazing starting cutscene that shows you the final boss, three of the four Lordsoul holders, and two other important bosses (Manis, if you believe he is the furtive pigmy, and Seath the Scaleless). This, right out the gate, gives you a sense of "Okay! These guys E X I S T". When you inevitably run into them, you'll perk up and get super hyped because Holy HELL! It's THEM! From the cutscene!

This leads you to your starting cell. You're just a random nobody in a cage, given a CHANCE to escape by a random knight who drops a corpse with a key on it. You escape, find him, and he tells you that if you ring a bell somewhere in the world, you'll find out the fate of those who are like you, cursed to forever walk this land without the peace of death. When you escape the asylum, you meet the most heartbroken failure of a man just chilling in the starting hub. He tells you there's actually TWO bells. Cool. You got all the info you really need to be honest. One's up in a church in the Undead Burg, the other is down below in a place called Blightown.

Now you have two things: wanderlust to find the old souls from the cutscene and curiosity to figure out where these two bells are so you can ring em!

Right out the gate, Dark Souls knew how to give you purpose with such minimal interactivity. It was honestly beautiful. I really love how Dark Souls gives your character direction because once they tell you where to go, it's up to you to figure out how to get there.

But Dark Souls II? How do they start you off? Well, you get a cutscene showing your dude or dudette jumping down a weird hole??? Some old ladies are chatting it up. You just kinda are wandering. And that's pretty much what you'll be doing the entirety of DS2. Wandering. Without any idea why.

The old ladies in the beginning feel like they are mocking you for even being there in the first place. You don't know who the hell is in Drangleic. You don't have even a shred of promise to find out why you're wandering this world. The whole game feels almost like a big middle finger to the player for wanting to explore at all. It seems their direction ended up going from, "Here are some hints as to what to do! Now go and explore this amazing world!" to "Why the fuck are you here??? You know what? Go and wander this wretched earth you miscreant. How dare you have a sense of wanderlust. Shame on you."

It feels so disingenuous to the player. A great example is the fucking hole in Majula. I saw that hole after talking to the DS2 equivalent to the Crestfallen Soldier in DS. He states that there's no way to get down there, "not without a ladder of some sort". Cool, okay. Guess I get a ladder item later on, that's cool. Flash forward to me losing my mind while I'm slowly going crazy from the lack of clarity on where I'm supposed to go, so I end up giving up on staying spoiler free for this game, watching lore videos for it and all, and I find out I'm supposed to buy the fucking CAT FALL RING FROM THE SASSY LIL CAT IM THE SHACK RIGHT BESIDE THE HOLE. WHY WOULD HE MENTION A LADDER IF I'M SUPPOSED TO BUY A RING?????

This is why I feel like DS2's whole design philosophy is to be as player hostile as possible. It feels less like a challenge and more like self mandated torture. I love Dark Souls. I even like Dark Souls 2. But man. The difference between the two games lies in how they want the player to feel when they explore. I remeber ringing both bells, heading back to firelink to chat with my crestfallen brother, him talking about the stench, thinking to myself "I'll get rid of it king", seeing that massive primordial serpent freak, talking to him and figuring out about the lordsouls, heading to Sen's Funhouse and getting the Lordvessel, and then beginning my second journey to get those lord souls. It all felt so magical. It felt like I was truly getting more powerful.

Then in Dark Souls 2, I'm just... Wandering. I get lost so often. It's literally what the game is cursing you to do. And that's nowhere near as fun as the fantasy of getting more powerful through your skill with a blade. I remember just perusing about, finding a long walkway with water on both sides in a dark land, seeing a colosseum like building in the distance, lighting two torches on the side for some reason, only to walk in, fight a weird sinner guy, kill him pretty easily, only to find out "Hey! This guy's got a Great Soul btw 😊" LIKE WHAT??? HOW???

The game's lack of direction and clarity absolutely butchered the fun for me. I can feel every inch of my body and soul clamoring to want to be over with this game so I can play Bloodborne next. I have yet to play it or Dark Souls III. Hell, I stopped my playthrough of Elden Ring like 40% through to start from Dark Souls because of how much I loved the way Elden Ring was made, and I stand by the fact that Dark Souls is just as magical as Elden Ring is. But Dark Souls II? It's... It's ok. It's not as great, that's for sure. But it's... ok. People overhate on this game for sure. But man, it's really struggling to make me love it the same way I fell in love with Elden Ring and Dark Souls...

The thing about Dark Souls II is that people will just try to run through it while exercising zero situational or environmental awareness, suffer for it, then complain the game is bad

#dark souls #dark souls 2 #elden ring #soulsbourne #video games #roleplay #story

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clowncollectr · 2 years ago

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Arknights - Won't you look at me? (Liang Xun / Lee) - Extra

Rating: T (this chapter), E / M (whole story)

Word Count: 1326 (this chapter), 11117 (whole story)

Summary: The person he’s spent his entire life looking at has finally noticed him and returned his feelings. A lifelong dream come true. Lee should have already been satisfied with just this. There was no need to monopolize his attention. But he still wanted it.

Notes: Just a little extra scene I wrote :D Once again, thank you for reading through to the end and let me know if you liked it! In case you didn't see the link in the first chapter, you should check out these memes I made about this story. They probably all make sense now lol.

AO3 Link

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Extra

Extra Chapter

Du Yaoye groaned as she felt the splash of another puddle beneath her boots. She can’t believe she’s wasting her time on something like this. Who the hell asks to run a delivery at this time anyway? It’s way before sunrise. It’s so cold up in these mountains at this time and the location of the delivery is so far away. She knows that this is her father’s way of giving her a light punishment, after he found out about her attempts to sabotage the Escort’s mission to get the goblet awhile back. But honestly, she would have preferred if he had just chewed her out and made her take some accountability. Instead, she’s doing this. Going to these random remote places to do menial tasks that hardly matter at all. These “missions” were offensively boring. But it’s not all bad at least. Last week she ran into that Lungmenite conman on one of these pointless errands, who’s a surprisingly friendly person. Speaking of that guy, she wonders how Lee is doing now. She had made him promise to keep her updated on his love life in exchange for helping him. It was a pretty ridiculous exchange they made, but she’s learned from experience that the guy is unusually open to humoring people.

She hasn’t heard back from him yet. Well, technically she had never given him a way to contact her. But she has ties to the Escort Bureau and a person like him shouldn’t have any trouble reaching out to her if he wanted. Maybe he struck out and had to go home broken-hearted. It’s too bad. She kind of wanted to know what type of person would even catch Lee’s eye. He’s a strange one for sure, and he didn’t strike her as the type to even bother with things like love. She sure as hell didn’t think he’d actually be self-conscious enough to care that much about what another person thought about him. People that dress and act like him. They’re way too carefree. And usually, it’s because they’re competent and independent enough that they can afford to be. Anyway, she should count her blessings that she’s probably on that guy’s good side now. Putting the thought aside, Du Yaoye kicked some stones off the path as she absentmindedly climbed one of Shangshu’s many mountains. As a local, she doesn’t really find the view too interesting.

Eventually, a voice in the distance catches her attention.

I’m starting to think that he might be doing this on purpose, Du Yaoye thinks as she walks forward, her suspicions being confirmed the closer she gets.

By some twist of fate, Lee is somehow on this mountain too. He might be moping around somewhere abandoned again after his other attempts at love didn’t go well either. If that’s the case, then Du Yaoye thinks that either the girl really isn’t interested in him or she’s oblivious enough that she’s probably a lost cause anyway. Of course, if she can hear Lee’s voice, it means he’s talking to someone. Maybe he did get lucky after all? Or he brought a friend with him to complain to this time. She softens her footsteps so that her walking is silent, intending to eavesdrop for a bit to see who Lee is talking to. It would be really risky to get a good look at them without being spotted by Lee himself, so she stays a safe distance away, hiding behind a large cleft in the mountain for good measure.

“It’s so damn early. What are you going to do if I fall asleep and start rolling down this mountain?”

“It can’t be helped. You’re leaving today. It’s best to do this kind of thing at a time like this when no one is around. The atmosphere is more peaceful that way.”

So the person Lee is talking to is a man. Maybe he did bring a friend along to complain to after all. But for some reason, Du thinks that they sound really familiar. It’s not someone she knows personally or she would’ve identified them by now. But it’s at least someone she’s talked to or someone notable enough for their voice to be familiar to her.

“Can’t argue with that. Even if a part of me wants to find a warm rock to sleep on.”

“Do you still want to keep heading up? I do think the view up there is better, but this is a fine place to rest as well.”

“Ugh, let’s just stay here. I’m too old for this kind of activity. My back is already killing me. Every step I take aches.”

“You…don’t be dramatic. You’re not that old. Your back only hurts because you don’t know your limits.”

Du Yaoye still can’t tell who this second person is. But whoever they are, they seem fairly close to Lee. She feels a little guilty, but she decides to listen in a bit longer, not wanting to interrupt their conversation.

“This coming from the culprit, hm? And I suppose that you were perfectly within your limits?”

“.....”

“Thought so.”

“You know, it’s not like you made it any easier for me. What even gave you the idea to start dressing up every day the way you did?”

“Hah, curious about that? It was my own stupid idea. But I did get some advice from a friend.”

“A friend?”

“Yeah. She said she would help me win over my sweetheart.”

“Your sweetheart…”

Now that the topic’s changed to her, she definitely couldn’t reveal herself. And what were these two talking about earlier? Did Lee and his friend get into some sort of trouble recently resulting in Lee getting injured? Also is he finally going to talk about what happened with that person he likes? The questions just keep piling up. But one thing was for sure, morals be damned, she was going to keep listening. She’ll apologize to him later if she ends up hearing something she shouldn’t.

“Yes, well you see. My sweetheart was so busy running the city that he wouldn’t even eat dinner with me. So in a fit of desperation, I resorted to drastic measures. But even after that, he-”

“Enough. I get it, Lee. Please stop teasing me. I promise I’ll make it up to you the next time I visit Lungmen.”

“Well, it was my fault too for trying to be cute and surprising you. But if you’re offering to make amends, we should go to a really fancy restaurant in Lungmen and dress in those nice clothes I bought. I could even get us a private room for our table. Sounds fun, right?”

The pieces were all starting to fit together. Du Yaoye cautiously walked back down the mountain, now fairly afraid of what would happen if she actually did get caught. When she was a far enough distance that she was sure she wouldn’t be heard, she broke off into a sprint. She’s not sure what to do with the new information she’s learned. It had no real value to her. She’d be a moron to actually try to use it to gain leverage for herself or the Escort Bureau. Something tells her that making an enemy out of Lee and his lover would be a truly awful idea. But in terms of gossip, she feels like a bomb has just landed on her lap. Du decides that today, she’ll just make up some excuse to her father about why she couldn’t go up the mountain for the delivery. But worst of all, she can’t help but think about how she’s accidentally meddled with this relationship. Her outward appearance is her usual confident and tough looking self. But in her mind she thinks:

Lee…while I was giving advice and trying to comfort you…it was awfully convenient of you to leave out the fact that the person you were trying to impress was-

Mr. Liang, my city’s governor?!

#miko the clowncollectr's fic tag #LiangLee / 梁鯉 #lee arknights #liang xun arknights

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hongism · 4 years ago

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mists of celeste ➻ twenty-five

➻ pairing: ??? x fem reader ➻ genre: space au, pirate au, space pirate!ateez, angst, eventual smut ➻ Word Count: 5.5k ➻ Rating: M ➻ Warnings: language, violence, guns and weaponry, blood, future warnings tba ➻ summary: Sneaking aboard the ship of a renowned space pirate may not have been the best idea, but you’ll have to make do with what fate has handed to you

⇐ previous | next ⇒ | masterlist

act three ➻ part seven

“Sorry to interrupt, but… Hongjoong asked to see you on the bridge, Y/N.” A breath of hesitation, just long enough to cause a spike of anxiety in your gut. “Alone.”

“Of course,” San says, tone not shifting in the slightest. He nods at Seonghwa before stepping away from you. His hand lingers on your arm a breath too long, and when you meet his gaze, the eyes looking back at you are filled with… something. You can’t read it or understand it, but you don’t have much of an opportunity to do so anyway. Instead, you let San move back and head in the opposite direction, turning to face Seonghwa once San’s back is to you.

“What’s going on?” You ask before Seonghwa can say anything. He shakes his head ever so slightly.

“Just follow me first.” You do as told even though the steps are difficult to take. Dealing with Hongjoong feels like dealing with some rabid beast. You can’t understand his line of thinking or the way he operates, haven’t spent enough time with him to figure him out. He could be planning to kill you for all you know. Seonghwa’s presence at your side helps a minimal amount, but it does nothing to ease the anxiety bubbling in your gut. One thing nags at the edge of your thoughts, and you hate to think about it because you want to trust Seonghwa.

“Why does he want to see me?” You ask, voice small and quiet. “Is it — does he know about… you know?” It hurts to say even though you’re merely alluding to the bigger picture. You want to trust Seonghwa. His steps falter and come to a halt. You pause beside him, eyes searching his face for any sign of an answer that his voice won’t give. Instead, his hands find your shoulders and push you back until your back hits the wall. It isn’t rough or forceful; his touch is light, and he moves you like you’re a piece of glass on the verge of breaking.

“I promised that I would never tell Hongjoong,” Seonghwa says as he brings his chin down to look you in the eye. The gaze behind those eyes is too intense for a moment. You dip your chin and look away before it burns you. Soft fingers trail up your bare arm, leaving a path of electric shocks against your skin, and Seonghwa only stops when his fingers brush your chin. He lifts your head a little, and you’re forced to meet his gaze again. “Why do you think I did?”

You can’t come up with an answer fast enough. All you manage to do is sputter and stammer your way through incoherent thoughts and random words that attempt to explain why you don’t trust him, but Seonghwa silences you by cupping your face.

“I made you a promise, Y/N. I intend to keep it. It’s on you to believe it. Until you do, I will keep saying it, but I can’t force you to trust me more than you already have.” You nod against his touch.

“O-Okay.”

Seonghwa’s lips twist into a soft smile. His touch lingers. It isn’t uncomfortable, but you can’t understand what’s going through his mind as he continues to look over your face in silence. A small sigh slips past his mouth. Then his breath invades yours, and warmth cascades over you. It’s sudden and brief, but you find yourself chasing his lips the moment he pulls away. You couldn’t explain why even if you tried. Your hands fly up to clasp around the back of Seonghwa’s neck and tug him back down to you again. He releases a faint noise of surprise, but he meets you halfway, hands bracing on the wall behind you. He stops it too soon this time. Probably for the best, seeing as Hongjoong is apparently waiting for you. Seonghwa lets a half-hearted laugh out.

“I’m sorry for being greedy,” he murmurs, bringing a hand off the wall to thumb over your cheek again. “I just didn’t want — nevermind. You shouldn’t keep Hongjoong waiting. I’ll be in the training room if you need me. Hongjoong just has a few questions for you, nothing too serious, so don’t worry too much, okay?”

“What about? Is something wrong? Why aren’t you coming as well? Shouldn’t you be there as the lieutenant?” The questions tumble from your lips in a rush, almost slurring together as you spit them out, and Seonghwa grins at the barrage of questions.

“All he wants to talk about is some military-related things, as far as I’m aware. Nothing about Sirens, unless you choose to bring it up. He truly did ask to see you alone, and even as Lieutenant, there are some conversations I won’t intrude upon unless my captain asks me to do so.”

“Oh,” you exhale. “I’ll just get going then.” Seonghwa pulls back from the wall, letting you out from the cage his arms had around you.

“You can come by my room after if you’d like, either to talk about it or… destress.” The playfulness returns to his eyes. You release a loud scoff.

“Just say that you want to get in my pants and go.”

Seonghwa rolls his eyes a bit, but you can tell he’s not too bothered because of the smile that stretches across his face.

“I’ll save that for later. Right now, I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I am,” you insist with a sharp nod. Seonghwa doesn’t voice his doubts. You see them in his eyes nonetheless and turn away before the inclination to tell him anything and everything hits. If he watches you walk away, you don’t know because you’re trying your best not to look over your shoulder as you continue down the corridor, this time alone. The weight of reality sinks in when Seonghwa’s presence at your side dissipates.

Hongjoong wants to talk to you.

Alone.

About military-related things.

How much effort will you have to put in to keep from having a damn breakdown in front of him? You can’t very well grab hold of his arm to ground you, but without anyone else present, what are you supposed to do?

Your fists clench tight by your side.

Maybe this is some sort of test. Perhaps he sees you as fragile and volatile, and he wants to test you to see how bad it actually is. That could be what he’s planning. He’ll probe you for information on your past to see how long it takes for you to break.

When you step onto the bridge, Hongjoong is across the room, standing before the observation window with his arms crossed over his chest. There’s nothing out there except the darkness of the hanger around the ship, so you aren’t quite sure why he’s standing there of all places. You don’t feel the need to ask him why though, more focused on the person at his side. It’s Mingi’s tall form beside him. Broad shoulders and taut muscles rippling through his shirt that leave a bad taste in your mouth. You wonder how long it would take for him to choke you to death if you so much as breathe the wrong way.

You muster up the courage to clear your throat, only feeling secure in the action because of how far away Mingi is. Hongjoong shifts and glances back at you. Blue strands of hair fold over his forehead, parted down the middle to expose a bit of the skin underneath.

“Mingi, you’re dismissed,” he orders. The tone he uses is flat and void of emotion, much to your dismay, because you were hoping to at least pick up on his current mood to know what to expect.

“Are you certain, Captain?”

Hongjoong smiles a bit, gaze soft as he looks up at Mingi.

“Yes, yes, Mingi. You’re free to go. Get some rest. You’ve been up for a long time, yeah?”

Mingi doesn’t return the smile, but Hongjoong doesn’t seem to expect anything. The Berserker merely nods and bows at the waist a bit before turning to where you stand. He doesn’t look at you, and you’re grateful for it. There’s still an obscene amount of panic running through your body when he walks past you to leave the bridge. If Mingi picks up on it, he doesn’t show it, face and body stoic as he passes you. You keep your eyes set on Hongjoong. The captain watches Mingi, gaze almost melancholic in away, but once the man is out of sight, he shifts to look at you. He gives a quick beckoning motion, and your feet move on their own, bringing you closer until you stand right beside him at the observation window.

For a moment, there is complete and utter silence between you. Then –

“Do you know why I keep the crew so limited in size?” You offer a hesitant shake of your head in response. “I want you to reason it out for me.”

“There doesn’t seem to be any reason,” you say, eyes flitting over Hongjoong’s face as though it’ll explain his strange question. “Even though the ship is on the smaller side, it could be run so much better if you had a proper crew. Engineers, cooks, comms managers, weapon stations, people manning the mainframe and shield reactor.”

Hongjoong huffs out a laugh, air rushing through his nose.

“The Horizon was never built to be a warship or even one that could attack other ships. The original purpose was merely to be a transport ship. Before I took it, it was used to cart slaves between planets and larger cargo ships. She looks like hundreds, if not thousands of other ships out there. There are so few distinguishing features on the ship that the military would have a hard time picking her out in a crowd. That’s the way I like it. Low upkeep too. The only differences are not visible ones. She's the fastest in the universe for a reason, after all. When in danger, the crew has their assignments and stations. San and Jongho to the shield reactor, Wooyoung and Yeosang to the mainframe. Yunho stays in the medbay. Seonghwa and Mingi remain with me on the bridge. Seonghwa manages the comms stations, and Mingi mans the emergency turret. And as for me – I remain at the helm. You see, Y/N, the ship was made to be manned by a smaller crew. I could afford to have a larger crew, yes, but there are too many opportunities for mistakes there. I should have known that having seventy crew members would cause more harm than good. I was arrogant then and wanted it all.”

“What changed?” You inquire in a quiet voice. “Your arrogance and desires, I mean. What changed those?” Hongjoong responds with a small shake of his head at first.

“I was humbled and brought down a few notches.” You don’t say anything right away. Your lack of response brings another huff of laughter out of Hongjoong. “What? You’re not gonna pry for more answers? I’ve heard that you have been asking about the incident.”

“I… forgot about it for the moment,” you say, looking away from Hongjoong to stare out into the darkness outside instead. “If you want me to ask about it, then I can.”

“I’ll save you the trouble of pestering any other crew members for an explanation and do it myself. I’ve been waiting for you to come to me directly about it, but you never did. So I guess now is as good a time as any to explain what happened.” Hongjoong pauses, a small hum resounding as he lifts a hand to his chin. “Mingi killed one of the crew back when we were more in our prime. Not quite the largest the crew had been, but still large nonetheless. A woman named Cass, someone close to Yunho. Very close.”

“You shouldn’t ask about it,” he hisses out through gritted teeth. You’ve never seen this expression on his face, this gleam in his eyes. He doesn’t seem angry in the slightest, and that’s what sends your thoughts into a scramble. Merely sad. “That’s between you and Hongjoong if you want to talk about it, and it’s on him to tell you about it.”

You should have known then that it was a sensitive topic for Yunho, but you were too caught off-guard in the moment.

“She was just a Normie, no one special or out of the ordinary. Never showed any signs of disliking me as the captain or the crew. She never–” Hongjoong doesn’t finish the thought. His teeth sink into his lower lip. For a moment, you think you can see pain crossing his features, but it disappears less than a second later. “She wasn’t someone who would do what she did without outside influence. It all started because she had said that someone like me wasn’t fit to lead. I had no place being the captain. Someone else would be better, someone who was an Elitist. She was trying to encourage Mingi and Jongho to join her – their side since they were the strongest of the crew. Said that Mingi should kill me and let an Elitist take over. Cass – s-she did this out in the open in front of Mingi, Jongho, many other crew members who sided with her. And Mingi… He killed her for what she said. Jongho closed his eyes and let it happen. Put morals to the side for me.”

Hongjoong clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. It’s almost as though he can’t believe Jongho would do such a thing for him or that Mingi would either, for that matter.

“Isn’t it in Mingi’s nature to kill like that?” You ask, prodding for an answer you aren’t sure you want to have.

“No. He doesn’t want to kill. It isn’t about some maddening or sick desire to hurt people. It’s about what he’s been conditioned to do, and it is the only thing he knows.”

“How long has he been with the crew?”

“Six years. I found him at the same time and place that I found Yunho.”

“What do you mean?” You tilt your head to look at Hongjoong’s expression, and he mimics the motion as he stares back at you.

“I mean exactly that. I found Mingi with Yunho, though the two didn’t know each other at the time. Mingi’s father was Yunho’s patient. Before joining the crew, Yunho ran a small clinic here on Kebos. We happened to be passing through the system and had no medic at the time. Needed immediate medical treatment for Jongho, so Seonghwa took him to Yunho’s clinic. Yunho must have recognized Seonghwa or heard something he said because he asked after me. I came down and met him in the clinic, then he joined the crew.”

“Just like that?”

Hongjoong presses his lips together, forming a thin line then stretching them into a smile.

“It’s not necessarily my story to tell. Yunho needed – needs – me. And I needed a healer. Perhaps it was fate that brought us together.”

“How does Mingi fit into the picture then? If his father was there as a patient, then how–”

“Something happened in the backroom where Mingi’s father was,” Hongjoong says, cutting you off before you can finish the question. “Something I didn’t see and still to this day don’t know. It’s never been my place to ask. It’s between the two of them, whatever it is. All I know is that it left a deep wound on both of them, and it’s always been the root cause for the stiltedness in their relationship and attitudes towards each other. When the two of them came out of that room, they were both ready to join my crew, and I accepted it for what it was. Brought them on as they were, because I didn’t need anything else. The crew was big enough back then to allow for bringing them on without any trouble.”

“Ah, I see,” you exhale, bringing your chin forward again. “What happened after Mingi – that incident?”

“There was a mutiny,” Hongjoong states as if it’s the most normal thing in the universe. “They thought that I couldn’t lead and wasn’t suited for it. Mingi killing Cass only solidified those feelings. My highest in command after Seonghwa led the mutiny. Before he left the ship with half the crew, he swore that he would get the treasure first along with the Sirens.”

“Did he know about Seonghwa?” You aren’t sure what the hell possesses you and makes you ask that question. It’s a lapse in judgment and a mistake for certain, and you bring a hand up to cover your mouth the second it falls from your lips. Hongjoong lifts a brow, eyeing you as you rush to recover and come up with some sort of excuse. You half expect anger from Hongjoong or at least surprise in the very least, but all that falls from his lips is a deep sigh.

“I should have known that Seonghwa would tell you. He’s so strangely attached to you that it was only a matter of time.”

If you had been waiting for an opportunity to tell Hongjoong what you are, this is it. You are fully aware of that. You could tell him, and perhaps you should tell him. It would be easiest in the long run to tell him now. But what is the long run? Is the long run remaining with Hongjoong until he finds the treasure? Not what you expected your fate to be in the slightest, but an option nonetheless. Is it an option you want to take though? Spending the rest of your life as a weapon to the most dangerous pirate in the universe.

“What am I to you?” You ask all of a sudden, keeping up with your trend of being spontaneous with your questions. Hongjoong’s brows dip together.

“What do you mean?” He counters, seemingly confused by the sudden inquiry.

“Everyone on the crew is something to you, no? So what am I to you?”

Hongjoong draws his lips together, pursing them violently, before offering a shrug.

“You are whatever you want to be. It’s your choice, and I will merely respect it.”

“No,” you say through a small shake of your head. “If it wasn’t up to me, what would I be to you?” The question makes Hongjoong pause for a moment. He has an answer; the hesitation isn’t in the lack of one but rather the internal debate of whether to say it.

“You would be… a weapon to me,” he admits, maintaining the same steady and even tone.

“And what is Seonghwa to you?” Again your words throw Hongjoong off.

“Seonghwa is different.”

“Given what Seonghwa is, what is he to you?”

“I don’t just give up something so personal that easily,” Hongjoong answers quickly, sharp eyes narrowing on you.

“Is he a key to the treasure, or is he something more?”

Hongjoong exhales through his nose.

“Seonghwa always has been and always will be something more,” he whispers, tone dropping for the first time. It isn’t enough of an answer for you though. You need more than that, you need a straight answer, and you need to know what Seonghwa is to him before you even think about telling him what you are.

“If Seonghwa is a Siren, and you are hunting Sirens, and Sirens are the key to what you want most, then what is Seonghwa to you?” You think you’ve crossed the line right then. Hongjoong’s expression goes cold.

“You still don’t understand a single thing about me. The treasure itself is not what I want most. It will give me what I want most. But that’s not the point of all this, is it? This started off as me telling you a story.” Hongjoong doesn’t have to say it outright for you to know that he wants you to drop the subject. You nod quickly.

“You left off at the mutiny.”

Hongjoong hums in response and faces the observation window once more.

“Yes, my highest in command after Seonghwa led the mutiny. He did know about Seonghwa and promised to come back for him one day. Every single day is a race to the finish. I fear that at the end of it I’ll lose. The ship, the fight, the treasure, the crew – Seonghwa. People have never scared me. I grew up in a cruel world surrounded by cruel people, and the only option I had was to become cruel myself. But this man? I’m deathly afraid of him and what he’s capable of. And I’m running out of time. My clock is ticking onwards.”

“Towards what?”

“I’m not sure I know the answer to that. I just know that it won’t be long until it catches up to me.”

His words make you pause. The more you think about it, the more similar you realize you and Hongjoong are. Time has been chasing you your whole life. The past rushing to catch up with you, and it seems that Hongjoong is in a similar position. Time may be the same, but purpose? You don’t know what Hongjoong’s purpose is; however, you can confidently say that his is not the same as yours. You’ve been a weapon for as long as you can remember. The military carved you out of a broken mold and made you the weapon you know yourself to be.

You don’t want to be a weapon any longer. You don’t want to only be valued for what you can do. You want to be valued for who you are.

Seonghwa is special to Hongjoong, and maybe… maybe by telling him what you are, you can have that too. At the end of the day, you don’t know what it means – to be special to someone.

The reflection in the observation window seems to flicker for a second. It isn’t your face that looks back. A rounded smile with bright twinkling eyes. Someone precious to you, someone treasured.

“Hey, I need to ask you something.”

“Fire away, Jisung.”

“Can I hold your hand?”

“W-What?”

That cheeky grin makes an appearance again. Jisung holds his hand out to you and says nothing else. Slowly, you stretch your arm out to him, letting your fingers fold around his. It’s a foreign feeling, one you’ve never had before, but it’s comfortable. Warm.

You wonder if Seonghwa is precious to Hongjoong, if the whole crew is precious to him. It’s a foreign warmth that blossoms in your chest as you think about it, and Jisung’s face continues to smile at you in the window.

“Oh yeah? What are you gonna give me?” You roll your eyes ever so slightly. Only enough for Jisung to see it and scoff at your gesture, and he sits up to hit your arm with the back of his hand. You laugh, hair sprawled out across the ground. Jisung hesitates there. His expression melts, and his gaze is so gentle and full of emotion that you feel a deep pang in your chest. “S-Stop looking at me like that. It’s weird.”

Jisung doesn’t respond right away; instead, he leans down over you and blocks your view of the sky. All you see in that moment is him. You exhale, breath fogging in the air between you, and Jisung dips in to press his lips against yours. Soft lips. The taste of honey and vanilla. Stars hanging high in the sky. Jisung’s calloused hand reaching out and finding yours. Cherry wood and sugar on your nose. A fire crackling behind you.

Jisung was – is – precious to you. From the first hello to the last goodbye. Jisung’s face changes all of a sudden, and now it’s San before you.

“Oh, by the way, I’m sure you are wondering who I am. I’m Spectre. When you decide to talk, it would be for the best.” His voice rings in your ears. Perhaps it’s because of the increasing fever, but the volume of his voice is bringing a sharp pain to your head and adding to the already present ache in your body. “I am a spy and assassin for a reason. Finding people isn’t difficult at all for me. Especially considering that there is blood on six crates. Body heat coming from one. Tell me how that adds up for you.”

He had intimidated you so much then. Looking back, you aren’t sure why he did.

“You could repay me then,” he suggests, sending a teasing wink your way. You blink back in confusion. “A kiss, maybe?” You immediately roll your eyes at his remark, swinging an arm at his. He whines when you hit him, falling back as though you hit him with an insane amount of force. You steady him with the same arm and dip in before he can recover. You brush your lips over his cheek. He freezes under your touch within an instant. Red soars up his neck and cheeks.

“There. Maybe next time, you can get one on the lips.”

It felt easy then, even if you were still hellbent on running away and getting out of the mess you’d been thrust into. Yet San saved your life. Not once, but twice, maybe even three times if you were to count the second encounter with Cara. He opened himself up, cut his chest open, and gave you his heart. It almost makes you feel it—that sensation of being precious to someone.

“I’m scared to let you in,” you admit, bring your gaze back up to San’s eyes. He’s looking back at you with a gentleness in his eyes that catches you off-guard.

“You don’t have to let me in yet. Just try to trust me.”

“Okay… okay. I can do that.”

“Then that’s more than enough.”

San leans his head back against the pillow, but you take hold of his chin and pull him back to your face once more. It’s prompt and chaste, slightly awkward too, but you slot your lips against his in a rush. San inhales sharply at the sudden pressure. He melts into the soft kiss, pushing back with equal gentleness. He pulls away too soon for your liking, but the smile that resides on his lips as he falls asleep makes your decision to stay more than worth it.

San’s image doesn’t stay long, quickly dissolving into Seonghwa’s dark hair and delicate features.

Warm hands, warm lips against yours.

Warmth. It’s what you are desperate for, what you want more than anything else. You want what Seonghwa offers so severely that you don’t even stop to think about what sort of consequences might unfold because of this. Seonghwa’s hands find your waist and squeeze tight. He lifts you up to push you further onto the mattress, making room to climb on with you. Your lips never disconnect. The warmth spreads like wildfire through your body, every single touch leaves you hot, and when Seonghwa kneels over you on the mattress, that heat spreads further down.

Soft touches.

Your right hand seems to move on its own as it stretches in Seonghwa’s direction, fingers reaching for his. He slips his fingers through yours within a second. You hear soft skids as he moves closer to you, and before you know it, Seonghwa is flush against your side, the fire of his presence no longer overwhelming your senses.

“We’re going to keep you safe,” he whispers after a few minutes of sitting in a comfortable silence. “No matter what.”

Crossed legs on a bed and old books, then the fleeting memory of a hand draped over your waist as you slept.

You don’t push him away; you don’t slide out from under his arm, you don’t do anything except relax some of the tension in your shoulders. The sensation is comfortable; it takes away that nagging coldness and pushes the anxieties and worries surrounding San to the side. Funny how the slightest motion managed to have that impact on you. Seonghwa presses his head to the back of your neck. Hot breath fans over your skin, and you shiver at the sudden sensation.

For once, you don’t feel empty. You feel comforted, wanted, needed maybe. You’ve always felt needed, but only as a tool or a weapon. Not just as a person. And yet, as Seonghwa clings to you, you don’t feel like either of those things. You bring a hesitant hand up and drape it over Seonghwa’s, fingers finding his and lacing through the spaces between them so you can cling to him. You don’t know what time it is or if you should go back to bed, but you do anyway, clinging to Seonghwa without a care in the world.

And when the vision of Seonghwa melts away, it isn’t one person that stands in his place. Rather it’s four. Yunho with his rough hands dressing your wounds. His gentle voice chastising you for not doing your exercises. Furrowed brows and an intent stare as you opened up about yourself. Half-hearted jokes about sex and intimacy. Jongho and his strangely good abilities at playing cards. Him going easy on you in sparring practice because you’re “fragile” in his eyes. The silent yet strong comfort he provides by just being at your side. Wooyoung with the heavy metal collar around his neck. A rocky and rough start. Loud complaints about Jongho’s cooking while clinging to your arm. Yeosang and his piercing eyes. His watchful stare out the corner of his eye. Him stepping in front of you to defend you for the first time.

It’s a twisting and churning sensation in your gut, a desire to be more and have more in your life than just the notion of being a weapon and a criminal.

“I…” You have to trail off as your voice catches in your throat. “I have to tell you something.”

“Go ahead.” Even though he’s given you permission, it feels near impossible to get the words out.

“I don’t want to be a weapon anymore. I’m tired of… being that.”

“What do you want to be then? It’s still up to you, but I can’t just let you walk away while you know what Seonghwa is.” You shake your head immediately.

“I don’t want to walk away. I-I really don’t. I’m – it isn’t that. I’m not an Elitist.”

Hongjoong all but snorts.

“I’ve known that for a long time already. Is this the part where you tell me what you actually are? Unless you want me to play a guessing game, which I would fail miserably at. There are only three options, since your eyes aren’t red.”

“A S-Siren,” you blurt out, eyes meeting Hongjoong’s. His smile melts, and his face goes completely blank in an instant. “I can prove it. I can – can do something or ask Seonghwa, or I can show you my tattoos or anything you want.”

Silence greets you. Hongjoong won’t look at you. And in that moment, you think you’ve ruined everything. Then he laughs, his smile returning, but this time it’s far wider than before.

“How’s that for fate?” He laughs, shaking his head in disbelief. “I knew there was a reason our paths crossed. Why Seonghwa was so adamant about having you join the crew and why he’s so attached to you. I never expected it to be because of this though.”

“D-Don’t you want proof?”

“Of what? I’ll be calling Seonghwa to the bridge soon regardless. Besides, what reason would you have to lie to me now?”

“That’s… it?”

“Why do you sound disappointed?” Hongjoong inquires, brows rising again.

“Because you – I thought you would care more. I’m n-not sure. I was expecting you to be angry.”

Hongjoong shifts to face you head on. He places his hands on your shoulders, but his touch is gentle and light. Like Seonghwa’s. Like holding a piece of glass. When you look him in the eye, the gleam there makes you choke on air. You’ve never made a habit of making eye contact with him, but the emotion you see behind those dark eyes is not one you’ve ever seen from him before.

It’s hope.

And in that moment, warmth blooms in your chest and spreads across your whole body. He isn’t holding you as though you are something fragile or breakable. It’s something more than that, the very thing you’ve been after all this time. He’s holding you like you are something precious.

✧✧✧ a/n: hi guys 🥺 how we doing how we feeling what goes on this is a big chapter in terms of emotions and talking and what's going on finally some backstory yes! woohoo! lot's of info this chapter, but i hope you guys enjoyed it regardless feel free to gimme those theories and your fav parts! i love getting to chat about theories with you guys, yall are so smart and creative 🤧 anywho i can't wait to get into act four it's gonna be CRAZY if you thought it was a ride before just you WAIT we're going full effing throttle ((also idek if i’ve said it before the act names on the masterlist are hints 👁👁))

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lovelystay · 4 years ago

Text

𝑀𝑦 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑑𝑒 - 𝐽𝑖𝑠𝑢𝑛𝑔🍒 💣1/2

(𝑅𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡)

[Rᴇsᴜᴍᴇ : Jisung is obsessed with you so he asked his parents to arrange a wedding . Your family, on the other hand, is pretty poor so they immediately agree. You don’t like it but can't do something to stop them... there will be some smut but little fluff at the end.]

~Pᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴡᴏ ɴᴏɴ ᴄᴏɴ sᴍᴜᴛ~

Jisung finds everything about you perfect , from your head until your toes , inside like outside , you were the most perfect human he had ever seen . He believed you were his soulmate , lovely and kind with him when even his own « friends » found him weird . You acted this way around him because the little boy was very adorable and cute , but mostly by pity ...

Nobody stayed around him a lot and it looked like you were the only person he would smile and be happy with .

And it was true , Han liked you a lot , you actually think he have a crush on you , he treated you like you were his girlfriend . You weren’t against it though , he offered you a lot of stuff , and your family wasn’t really wealthy , so it was win win for both of you . He gets to be with his « crush » and you get to not pay for food and stuffs and worry about money .

But for jisung , all of this will lead to something else much important , he wasn’t buying you things and treating you like a princess for you to leave him a week later . In facts , he wanted to make you his , completely. To marry you basically. The cute boy was always spying on you by some way, because you were the only person he cared of , and you actually cared of him too . So why not , right ?

He was getting sick every time he had to leave you , jisung always wanted to be by your side , to see you . He thought that secretly taking pictures of you and stay the whole night watching them would make him feel better , but no , he wants to feel you , to hug you .

Being away from you would now bring him into a sudden episode of depression, he won’t have the strength to do anything and can’t smile at all . Seeing you became vital for him .

So he went and had a discussion with his parents . They were worried for him , every time they saw him , he looked sad , hurt and won’t talk at all . They could do anything to bring a smile on their only child’s face again .

So , as soon as jisung entered the big room his mom ran to him . « Hello jisung ~ are you okay ? Do you need anything sweetheart? » she asks in a rush , desesparated to make him happy and figure out what’s wrong .

« Actually , yes . Yes I need something » Han answers . « Can you bring dad , I need to talk to the two of you » he continued .

Han’s mother go upstairs , running to find her husband . She comes back with him still in a rush , dragging him by the arm .

Jisung sits down on the long and expensive couch , he invites his parents to do the same in front of him and starts to talk , « Mom and dad , I’ve found someone I really love » he ignores his parents surprise and big eyes and continue « I always miss her and I’m sad whenever I don’t see her . You’ve noticed too right ? »

« Yes we’ve did , everything was just because of a girl ? » his dad answers and asks .

« It’s not just a girl , I really feel empty without her , I want her to be mine... »

« We understand , but , why would you say that to us instead of asking her to be your girlfriend ? » han’s mother asks confused .

« I’m going straight to the point , I want to marry her , I want her to be my wife »

« Jisung ! She’s not even your girlfriend ! We do not even know her name... »

« Y/n , y/l/n y/n , do you accept and support it or not ? »

« Jisung , you can’t just do that »

After a long debate going on between Han jisung and his parents , they finally accept . They’ve thought of it , and , it was the only thing that could make him happy . And they were rich anyway , a wedding wouldn’t be annoying financially. Jisung gave his dad your parents number , because , of course he have those basic information, to let them call your parents and convince them .

His dad promised them money and wealth if they would let you marry their son Han jisung . Your parents thought about the offer a lot after the call , they had a debate concerning the wedding . But there wasn’t many negative point . They weren’t going to pay anything and are going to get out of the poverty they were in for years .

Your parents said it was good for you as well , so they called back and accepted.

It was now late and you came back from school , you were exhausted and tired . With the small energy you have left , you run to your room to do what you waited for all day , sleep . But as soon as you jump on your bed to get some rest , you hear the sudden voice of your mom which prevented you from doing so .

« Come down y/n , we need to tell you something ... »

You let out a long sigh , you were sensitive right now and didn’t want to talk to anyone . But it seemed to be important so you join your mom in the living room . Your mom and dad were looking strangely nervous , your mom was playing with her fingers and rings and your dad couldn’t even make an eye contact with you .

« i can’t understand what’s going on but can you please be quick , I’m very tired »

Your dad’s breath was shaky and he sighed like he was preparing to tell you something big and important , which made your heart beat a little faster and awoken you a bit . Instead of your tired eyes they had now your entire attention. They’ve never been so weird around you .

« You know we are pretty poor right ? »

You bob your head up and down agreeing with him .

« Wouldn’t it be great if we would be less poor ? Or even rich ? »

You giggle a bit and say « of course it would be great , nobody would disagree with that »

Your mom smile gently and asks « do you know Han jisung ? You like him right ? »

You were surprised and didn’t understand where they’re point and all of those question were supposed to lead .

« Continue » you didn’t want to respond to that question , you just wanted to know what your parents wanted to say .

« He said he liked you a lot , he wants to ... » your dad say hesitantly.

« To marry you » your mom finish .

« Well I’ll just tell him no , what the hell does that have to do with all of us ? »

« Listen , their parents said he is really sad when he’s away from you , his parents hated to see him like that and they promised us a lot of money if you’d marry him »

Your dad finally confess. You felt horribly disappointed and betrayed by your own family .

« So you said yes to them ?! Did you two even thought of how I feel ? If I like him ?! You don’t even know if he’s a perv or a bad person but you just agreed to literally sell your only daughter’s happiness for money ?! Seriously ? »

« Calm down y/n , it’s even beneficial for you , you’ll finally be rich and live like the princess you deserve to be , Han jisung is pretty handsome too , I don’t understand why you’re so mad » your mom dare to say.

« If I want money I’ll gain it myself , I don’t need a fucking weird rich boy like him to live happily »

You rushed into your room to cry , you hated to show your « weakness » and cry in front of your parents . You try to be quiet and ruin your pillow to muffle your cry in it .

•*•*•*•*•

The wedding is in 3 days , you are still against it , your parents are still for it .

Jisung’s parents prepared everything , you had nothing else to do but wait . They didn’t even have you the location or the instructions, they told you that a private driver was going to get you . The only time you’ll see jisung it at the actual wedding . You would try and run away before the d-day but your parents would never let you . Now you only see them as the worst person in the world , you never want to see them again , you didn’t care how poor you and your family was , how can you sell your daughter for money and force her to marry a random guy you don’t even know .

You were cleaning your room and complaining about your fate when you receive a message from jisung . You open and read them .

Han jisung

[ hi y/n ]

[did they send you the dress ? ❤️ ]

You close your phone and throw it on your bed , yes they did send the dress but you absolutely didn’t want to talk to him , everything started because of him and his obsession for you . Now your family is breaking and you’ll have to be with him for the rest of your life . You start crying again , the feeling that you can’t do anything to stop it made you angry and stressed out .

•*•*•*•*•

During those three days before the disaster , you were alive but dead at the same time . You hated your parents and wanted to make them feel bad about they’re decision by just locking yourself in your room . You know it would hurt them and you did it on purpose , you only ate two meals during those three days . You didn’t want to marry jisung but you’re forced . How could you feel happy or joyful about this .

Your mom dragged you to the expensive looking car , you were going to get prepared for the wedding . When you got there you were amazed , it is so beautiful , it felt forbidden for a poor girl like you to even be able to see such a pretty and luxury looking place . The people working looked like they already knew who you were , they were waiting for you . Many people came and after the greetings they rapidly set themselves to work . Many person were taking care of you at the same time , you felt special but uncomfortable . They helped you put on your dress and heels , made your hair , did your make up , gave you snacks , did your nails etc ...

Everything seemed to be ready and you got back to the car where the driver was waiting . You wanted to cry but held the tears in not wanting to ruin the amazing make up they did on your face . After arriving at the town hall you saw a lot of people you didn’t even recognize that were waiting for you. You were walking and walking with a bouquet of flowers in your hands . The stress made you hold them really tight you thought you were going to break them . Jisung was right in front of you , you could see in his eyes that he loved the way you looked . Everything went good until the moment arrived where you needed to say yes to jisung . You wanted to say no , but you were too scared of the consequences and the silence started to get awkward . You said yes , he kissed you , you didn’t kiss him back , and everyone clapped . The discomfort obvious on your face and the love obvious in jisung’s eyes . After the party that was thrown you didn’t saw you’re parents anymore . They’ve already packed your stuff and send them to han’s parents . Talking about them , they’ve rented a big house for you and jisung , they wanted for you two to get to know each other better . Maybe they should’ve made us do that before getting us married ...

You took off everything , showered and put on your pyjamas . During the wedding and even after , jisung was trying to talk to you , laugh with you , he was clingy . But you ignored him the whole time . So since the beginning of the wedding and a little before you did not have a proper conversation with someone who is now your spouse .

« Y/n » said jisung entering your room .

« Let’s talk »

#stray kids fanfiction #skz imagines #stray kids fanfic #jisung #han #han jisung #jisung smut #stray kids smut #Stray kids forced marriage #yandere jisung #stalker jisung #forced marriage #skz angst #jisung angst

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tsarisfanfiction · 4 years ago

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Grey

Fandom: Thunderbirds Rating: Teen Genre: Angst, Family Characters: John, Scott

So this is a response to @flashfictionfridayofficial, who I just discovered the existence of about two hours ago, and their weekly prompt “burn it down”. This clocks in at 753 words, according to MSWord.

Technically it’s related to this old random muse from about a year ago, but the main things to note are that it’s a minor AU, and while it’s never explicitly stated, one of the characters in this is majorly depressed, so take care reading it if that might be an issue for you.

It’s the first time John’s seen his brother in person since he woke up, and somehow it’s worse in the flesh than in the hologram he’s had constantly projecting in his Thunderbird, fuelling his determination and keeping his fury alight. Scott is grey – grey skin, grey eyes, grey hair. It’s as though he’s had the life completely drained out of him, and that’s an analogy that hits far too close to home.

He’ll never fly again. There are no medical miracles that can fix this, even the awe-inspiring feat Gordon pulled off so many years earlier can’t help them here. It hurts, to look into those grey, grey, eyes and remember that once upon a time they were the most vibrant blue imaginable. Until The Incident. Until Scott ended up here, in this lifeless ward in this lifeless hospital with no way out. At least the holograms tinted blue.

“John.” Even his brother’s voice is barely a shade of what it once was. Thin and raspy and lifeless.

“You wanted to see me?” he asks, because that’s why he’s here. Holographic calls weren’t enough for Scott, apparently, and even though John’s busy – too busy to come down to Earth, and the fight he’s going to have with Dad to let him go back up to Five, what with the way most major organisations in the world are being attacked right now never mind that none of the non-profit aid ones have been hit, is going to be of Global Conflict proportions – when big brother called, he answered. Of course he answered. He’ll always answer.

“Yeah.” Once upon a time there would have been a wry smile to go with the word, a brotherly acknowledgement that John’s much happier in space and how much of a trial it must be for him to deign to return to their gravity-infested planet on his brother’s request. Now, it’s flat and dead, with barely a trace of any emotion to separate it from a generic AI.

An AI’s voice would feel so much more alive. John’s thoughts flick, for a moment, to EOS, and wonders how she’s getting on with the tasks he left her.

“Promise me,” his brother carries on, as though every word’s more effort than he’s got to expend. Before, it would be typical of Scott to push too far and John would roll his eyes as he told him to shut up and rest. Now, when his brother’s so soulless he’ll spend hours staring blankly at a wall unable to even face the sky that’s been stripped from him in a fate worse than death, it’s an indication that it’s important, and John makes sure to listen closely, because if it’s so important it couldn’t be said over hologram-

His mind screeches to a halt. Does Scott suspect?

“-you won’t let… any…thing happen to th’others,” big brother drags out. It’s a sentence that sounds too much like a finality, like a goodbye to the big brother John’s always known and loved before the grey saps him away entirely, and the thrumming rage that hasn’t waned in the least since he got the original news surges beneath the surface.

He doesn’t let it show, although he’s not sure if Scott’s still here enough to notice even if he slips anymore.

Does Scott suspect? The words give nothing away, and John chooses to believe that he doesn’t; he likes to think Scott would have more of a reaction if he has any inkling about the decision John made. It’s easier to believe that this is Scott’s final hurrah for his insatiable smother hen tendencies before the grey swallows that, too, if not easier to accept. Honestly, there’s a part of him that’s agonisingly surprised that Scott even has this much left in him, with how grey he is now.

“I promise.” Regardless of Scott’s reasons for asking, it’s an easy promise to make. With Scott like this, unable to ever recover, for all intents and purposes John’s the eldest now, and he will protect his brothers from the world.

He’s already started doing it. It’s too late to protect Scott, whose physical life might not be in any danger but who’s had every spark that ever made him alive stolen and loses more of himself to this drained grey husk of a man every day despite their family’s best efforts, but to protect what’s left of his family, John will do anything.

The world itself is the threat? He’ll just have to burn it down.

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds are go fanfiction #tsari writes fanfiction #john tracy #scott tracy #drabbles #thunderangst #flashfictionfriday

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thelazyhermits · 4 years ago

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Stoking the Fire

As I mentioned in this post, I wanted to write a drabble focused on Fortune having a vision about the All Might vs AFO fight since I figured out a way to make it happen so there wouldn’t be any extra wariness among the heroes about the summer camp.

This takes place after TABF chapter 29 but before the Two Heroes fic. I hope y’all enjoy it! ^-^

Your Quirk is very troublesome in many ways.

For starters, you have no control over it when it comes to receiving visions, so they always happen at random which can be really inconvenient at times. Although, there are also times they happen just when you need them, so you suppose you shouldn’t complain too much on that end.

One of the most annoying aspects of your Quirk is the fact that it comes with so many drawbacks. It’s seriously ridiculous how much suffering your Quirk constantly puts you through.

Sure, it somewhat makes sense when you consider how powerful your Quirk is since great powers like foresight normally come with limits, but you think your Quirk has way too many.

It’d be one thing if you only had the drawback that prevented you from revealing the contents of some of your visions, but to also have a drawback that causes you to take the pain someone would have felt if you hadn’t intervened on their behalf and prevented them from getting injured? Truly ridiculous.

Not only that, when you use your Quirk for offensive purposes, you can only use it for a select period of time. Otherwise, you risk overworking your brain, which could result in seizures as well as horrible migraines and nosebleeds.

A truly troublesome Quirk indeed.

And unfortunately for you, there’s one other troublesome aspect of your Quirk that you oftentimes forget about since it doesn’t happen very often.

Sometimes, for reasons unknown to you, your Quirk gives you visions while you’re asleep.

The reason this is problematic is because sometimes it’s difficult for you to tell if you had a vision or if it was just a dream. Not only that, you never can tell when exactly the events of these particular visions occur unlike how you usually can with the visions you get when you’re awake.

While it’s not unusual for you to not be able to tell the exact date and time an event will happen, you can usually tell if it will be a few days or months away, but when it comes to visions that occur while you’re asleep, you can’t tell what the timeline is at all for whatever reason.

That’s why you hate getting those kinds of visions since it drives you crazy knowing that something is going to happen but having no idea when it will occur, especially when the events of said visions are very worrisome.

Like what you see in the vision you get a week before summer break starts.

-------------

As soon as the vision comes to an end, you wake with a loud gasp and quickly pull yourself into a seated position. While you take a moment to calm down, you brush the back of your hand against your forehead to wipe away the sweat clinging to your skin.

Once you’ve steadied your breathing and your heart is no longer pounding frantically in your chest, you mentally go over what you just witnessed while you were asleep.

It was a battle but not just any kind of battle. It was a fight between All Might and All For One himself.

There’s no way that was just a dream. It had to have been my Quirk at work.

That’s what your gut is telling you, so that’s what you’re going to believe since you can’t afford to write off something as important as this.

You drag a hand down your face. Unfortunately, that vision didn’t give me a lot to go on since it didn’t even show me the full battle, just bits and pieces of it. I couldn’t even tell where those two were since I didn’t get a good look at their surroundings. It just looked like a typical battlefield that came to be after a section of a town got torn apart thanks to the fighters’ Quirks.

So, not only do you not know when this battle will happen, you have no idea where it will happen. Great, just great.

To make matters worse, All Might didn’t appear to be looking too good in that battle. Of course, you suppose that’s to be expected, considering he no longer has OFA and is only fighting using the remaining embers of his old Quirk.

However, despite that and All For One’s taunts, the number one hero didn’t look like he had any intention to give up. No, he was still fighting hard for the sake of everyone who was counting on him to win this all important battle.

Unfortunately, All For One had a trick up his sleeve to shake All Might’s resolve.

“Shigaraki Tomura is Shimura Nana’s grandson.”

When All For One dropped that bombshell, you had first thought he was lying, but you quickly realized that that was something the villain would absolutely do. So, you’re sure he was telling the truth no matter how much you don’t want to believe it.

Poor All Might looked absolutely devastated by the news, not that you can blame him. His mentor was someone who was near and dear to him, so of course, it would hurt to hear that All For One was able to find her grandson and use him in his evil schemes.

Fortunately, that news didn’t break All Might like All For One was aiming to do, so even though your vision didn’t show you how the battle ended, you’re sure that All Might continued to fight his nemesis with all his heart and soul.

That’s why you’re not worried about the outcome of the battle, because you know All Might will win. You have complete faith in him. There’s no way he’ll lose.

Still, you do think you should tell him about your vision, so he’ll be prepared for what’s to come. A warning probably won’t do much in the grand scheme of things, especially since there isn’t much you can actually tell him that would be useful to him, but you still think you should let him know what’s in store for his future.

And maybe if you tell him the news about Shigaraki, you can give him the time he needs to come to terms with that information, so All For One can’t use it against All Might in their fated battle.

Just that alone would make telling All Might about your vision worth it since there’s nothing more you’d love to do than to throw a wrench in All For One’s plans.

Your hands clench into tight fists. I won’t allow you to hurt All Might like that and use his suffering for your gain, All For One. I won’t let you do as you please.

That’s a promise.

-----------------

After homeroom, you contact All Might and ask for him to privately meet with you, so the two of you can discuss the vision you had last night.

Briefly, you had considered asking Aizawa and Nedzu to also join the two of you, but you figured you should talk to All Might first and foremost. And you wanted to do that privately because of the matter with Shigaraki since you’re sure that’s what All Might would prefer.

That’s why you later find yourself in a private room, sipping tea with All Might who returned to his true form once the coast was clear.

“To request a meeting like this, you must have seen quite the vision.” Yagi remarks, “Is it pertaining specifically to me, or is it about Young Midoriya?”

“It’s just about you.” You answer before later adding, “And All For One.”

His expression darkens. “I see. In that case, I can only imagine that you’re here to tell me that I will fight against that man again.”

As expected of the number one hero, he’s incredibly perceptive, which is to your benefit since it saves you time explaining things. Although, ironically enough, this is the one occasion where you don’t actually need that kind of help since this vision is apparently one you can talk about without having to worry about your drawback., probably because you don’t actually have any worthwhile information that could result in changing the future.

You nod, “Unfortunately, I had this vision while I was asleep, so I can’t tell you when the two of you will have your fated battle. For some reason, I’m never able to provide a timeline for those particular visions.”

A sigh escapes you. “I also don’t know where that battle will be since my vision didn’t really show me much of your surroundings. It looked like you were in a part of a town that got destroyed by the battle, but it could literally be anywhere.”

“I can’t even tell you how the fight turns out since my vision only showed me certain parts of the battle and didn’t even let me see the end of it.” You frown, “I’m sorry, Yagi-san. I wish I could be more helpful.”

He reaches across the table to pat your shoulder. “You don’t need to apologize, Y/N-kun. It is not your fault that your Quirk picks and chooses what it shows you.”

“Even if I don’t know when or where the battle will happen, I still appreciate the confirmation that such a battle will occur within the next year since I knew it was only a matter of time.” Yagi adds.

The corners of his lips curve upwards. “Your news is actually encouraging since, if you couldn’t tell who the clear winner would be, that means that I will be able to put up a good fight despite no longer possessing OFA.”

Your eyes widen. “I see what you mean. The more time passes, the less likely you’ll be able to continue using OFA since you’re currently just using the remaining embers. So, since you were still able to hold your own against All For One, then…”

“Then, it’s likely the battle won’t be a full year from now.” Yagi picks up where you left off. “While I intend to hold out for as long as I can for the sake of the public, I know it would be foolish of me to truly believe I can continue as I am with mere embers of my former Quirk for a long period of time, even though I would like nothing more than to remain the Symbol of Peace until I can pass along my mantle to Young Midoriya.”

Remembering the state he was in in your vision, you frown, “Unfortunately, I don’t think you’ll be able to continue working as All Might after that battle, Yagi-san. It’ll push you to your very limits - to the point where you won’t even be able to maintain your muscle form.”

The blond sighs, “I can’t say I’m surprised, considering how strong All For One is and how I am not as strong as I was during our last battle.”

His expression turns determined. “But I am alright with that result as long as I can stop All For One once and for all. If my last act as a pro hero is defeating him, I will have no regrets.”

Yagi clenches his hands into fists. “I failed to stop him last time, but I won’t this time. No matter what it takes, I will put an end to his tyranny once and for all.”

For some reason, when you hear him say, “No matter what it takes”, you get an uncomfortable feeling in your chest.

Probably because, to you, it sounds like, “Even if it costs me my life.”

At that moment, you suddenly find yourself thinking back to the vision you had of the events following All Might’s last battle with All For One. You remember seeing his worn out appearance and how Nighteye had tried to get the number one hero to retire.

You recall how Nighteye foresaw All Might’s death, and that painful feeling in your chest grows stronger. What if...What if….?

What if the vision you had is of the future that Nighteye saw?

You give yourself a quick mental shake. No, there should still be some time before the events that Nighteye foresaw happen. Considering Yagi-san will be strong enough to fight All For One, it’s doubtful that a full year will pass before that battle, and Nighteye predicted that the future he saw should happen within one to two years from now. So, there’s no way he’ll die in the battle I saw.

…right?

“Y/N-kun? Are you alright?”

It’s the sound of Yagi’s concerned voice that draws you out of your worrisome thoughts.

Immediately, you lift your gaze to meet his, and as soon as you do, you ask, without thinking, “Does ‘no matter what it takes’ mean that you’re willing to die if necessary?”

Yagi freezes at your words before quickly averting his gaze. Rather than say anything, he just goes quiet as he tightly clasps his hands, but you don’t need a verbal response since that reaction is all you needed to see to know what his answer to your question is.

Of course, you’re not surprised since the number one hero is no stranger to self-sacrifice. Ever since your Quirk started showing you visions about All Might, you’ve witnessed firsthand how many times he has sacrificed his time and wellbeing for the sake of others, because he felt it was his duty as the Symbol of Peace.

It’s a trait of his that you both admire and hate, because, while he only ever has good intentions, it hurts you to see him treat himself with so little regard. Why must he constantly put such burdens on his shoulders? Why can’t he allow himself to get the rest he deserves?

Why does he have to do everything alone?

At that moment, your thoughts suddenly turn toward Midoriya who is sure to follow in his mentor’s footsteps since he’s so much like the number one hero. Honestly, you’d say your student is even worse when it comes to self-sacrifice because of all the years of bullying which led to him having such low self worth.

If Midoriya was in All Might’s shoes right now, you have no doubt that he wouldn’t hesitate to throw away his life if he thought it would be for the “better good”.

And that terrifies you more than words can describe.

That’s why you can’t let this horrible cycle continue. You have to do something for Yagi’s sake and for Midoriya’s.

So, that’s exactly what you do.

“You can’t die, Yagi-san, not when you still have so much to teach Midoriya.”

Briefly, Yagi looks at you in surprise, and then, his expression becomes pained. “The last thing I want is to leave Young Midoriya without a mentor, especially so early in his journey to become a hero, but-”

“But nothing!” You cut him off. “If you want to guide him, then do it! Don’t let anything get in the way, not even death!”

Your hands clench into fists. “Midoriya still needs you, Yagi-san, not just as his hero but as his mentor. You need to be there for him since there are things that only you can do for him. Your role in his life is irreplaceable.”

“So, please don’t accept dying so easily!” You plead with tears in your eyes. “Not when you have a successor who’s depending on you and so many people who care about you, not because you’re the number one hero but because you’re you! Please treasure yourself more!”

His eyes widen. “Y/N-kun…”

As you’re scrubbing your eyes, Yagi takes a moment to consider your words, and then, his expression softens. “I’m sorry, Y/N-kun. You’re right. Death is not an alternative that I should be so willingly to accept. That’s unfair to you, Young Midoriya, and everyone else who I have been so fortunate to receive love from.”

“I’m no longer just All Might the hero. I’m also All Might the UA teacher and Young Midoriya’s mentor.” He continues, “As Principal Nedzu has told me in the past, I cannot give one job more attention than the rest. I am equally responsible for all of them, so it would be remiss of me to forget that just for the sake of defeating All For One.”

His eyes gain a determined glint as his hands clench into fists. “That’s why, if death tries to sink its claws into me in this upcoming battle, I will fight back with everything I have. I won’t allow Young Midoriya to lose his mentor, especially when I still have so much to teach him, and I won’t cause you, my other students, or anyone else undeserved pain with my death. I’ll keep fighting no matter what.”

Relief washes over you like a tidal wave, causing you to slump back in your seat. Seeing this, Yagi gives you an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, Y/N-kun. I always seem to be causing you a lot of undeserved stress.”

“If you don’t wanna cause me stress, then take care of yourself, so I don’t have to worry about you.” You huff, “And make sure Midoriya learns how important that lesson is too. Honestly, you’re both way too self-sacrificial…”

He sheepishly rubs the back of his neck. “I suppose you make a fair point. I promise to be more careful on that end for both my sake and Young Midoriya’s since the last thing I want is to be a bad influence.”

Considering how Midoriya currently is, you think the damage has already been done, but you don’t say as much since there’s still time for things to change for the better.

Instead, you just reach for your teacup and drink the rest of your tea, which has unsurprisingly gone cold due to you completely forgetting about it during your and Yagi’s discussion.

That’s why Yagi decides to pour a fresh batch of tea for the two of you. As he’s doing this, you remember that there’s still something else that you need to tell him.

“Shigaraki Tomura is Shimura Nana’s grandson.”

You’ve been putting it off since it’s not an easy subject to bring up, and you honestly would rather talk about anything else. However, for Yagi’s sake, you need to do it.

Finding your resolve, you take a deep breath and slowly release it. “As I mentioned before, I didn’t see the whole battle, just bits and pieces, so there wasn’t much to glean from my vision. However, there is one particular moment that stood out to me.”

When Yagi’s curious gaze falls on you, you clench your hands into fists. “All For One revealed something horrible that he did, something that will only cause you pain to know about, but I thought if I told you now that he couldn’t use it against you in the battle like he did in my vision.”

A deep frown forms on his lips. “It must be quite horrible indeed for you to look so upset. Although, I can’t say I am surprised since that sounds just like something All For One would do.”

“It’s worse than anything you could imagine, Yagi-san.” You bite your lip. “All For One really hit where he knew you would be hurt the most.”

After the number one hero gestures for you to continue, you take another deep breath before quietly revealing, “Shigaraki is your mentor’s grandson.”

Just like in your vision, Yagi completely freezes as horror slowly dawns his features. “No...it can’t be…”

“I wanted to believe it was a lie just as much as you, Yagi-san,” You sadly reply, “but we both know this is just the kind of thing All For One wouldn’t hesitate to do. That’s why I think he was telling the truth.”

Yagi lets his face fall into his hands. “Yes, you’re right. That’s just the kind of diabolical thing he would do.”

“Master had hidden her son away specifically to avoid this from happening, but it would seem her efforts were for naught.” Yagi trembles. “I’m so sorry, Master. If only I had known…”

Your expression softens. “It’s not your fault, Yagi-san, and I’m sure your mentor would agree. After all, she was the one who asked you and Gran Torino not to go looking for her son, right? You were just respecting her wishes.”

“Even so, I deeply regret that decision.” He sighs, “I should have considered the possibility of All For One finding a way to track down her family and made arrangements so that they would always be protected from him. I should’ve known better than to assume that All For One wouldn’t be able to find them.”

Unfortunately, it looks like you won’t be able to absolve Yagi of this guilt despite how much you want to. No doubt this will be something that will remain with him for the rest of his life.

As you frown at that thought, Yagi pulls his hands away from his face. “Thank you for telling me about Shigaraki, Y/N-kun. I’m sure it was a subject you would have preferred to not discuss, but you did it for my sake, which I am very grateful for. Like you said, it’s far better that I learn this horrid truth here rather than on the battlefield. ”

You frown worriedly. “Will you be alright?”

He forces a smile. “Yes, you don’t need to worry about me. It’s true that this news was a horrible blow, but I won’t let myself give in, especially not after I just promised to overcome everything that’s thrown my way.”

His smile falls. “Dealing with Shigaraki from here on out will not be easy, but for my master’s sake, I won’t fold. I won’t allow him to continue down the path All For One set him on. I will do everything I can to ensure he cannot commit any more crimes.”

Hopefully, things won’t come to that since you know fighting Shigaraki would be incredibly painful for Yagi. That’s why you think it would be better if another hero was in charge of stopping Shigaraki, especially considering how much the villain hates the number one hero.

Of course, you don’t say as much. Instead, you just keep those thoughts to yourself and enjoy the fresh batch of tea that Yagi later pours for you once it’s ready.

As you’re both enjoying the tea, you provide as many details about your vision as you can that you think could be helpful, which mostly entails talking about All For One’s Quirks in hopes that that’ll help Yagi in the long run.

Once that discussion concludes, you decide to take advantage of this private time with Yagi to ask a question that’s been on your mind for a while now. “Yagi-san, do you ever intend to tell Midoriya about the future Nighteye foresaw?”

Yagi quickly averts his gaze. “I didn’t think that would be necessary….”

A sigh escapes you. “As I thought. Honestly, you keep way too many secrets from him. It’ll come back to bite you one day, you know.”

You wag your finger at him. “As your successor, Midoriya has a right to know about those secrets, especially the ones about your predicted death and Togata Mirio. Those are not the kinds of things he should be learning from anyone but you.”

He awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. “I suppose you make a good point, but if we can avoid him finding out at all…”

“Fat chance of that happening.” You huff, “He’ll find out everything eventually, Yagi-san. It’s only a matter of time.”

When he remains unconvinced, you add, “Just give what I said some thought. I’m not saying you have to talk to him right now, but at least, consider doing it in the near future.”

The blond reluctantly nods, “Very well. It is true that you make an excellent point, so I should, at least, try to give the matter some more thought.”

Once that matter is addressed and Yagi returns to his muscle form, the two of you decide to leave the room, so you both return to your regular duties.

As the two of you are walking, you remember one last thing you need to say to the number one hero. “All Might.”

When he turns to look at you, you smile, “I believe in you with all my heart. I know there’s nothing you can’t do if you set your mind to it, so if you say you’ll win, I know that’s exactly what will happen.” “That’s why I couldn’t bring myself to feel as worried as I should have when I saw that vision.” You add, “Because I could tell just from looking at you that you had no intention to lose despite everything All For One was putting you through.”

Your smile grows. “Someone like you could never lose to someone like him. No matter what he says, he’s no match for you. I’ve always believed that and always will.”

Surprise briefly dawns his features before that trademark grin of his that you love appears. “Thank you. I promise I will live up to those high expectations of yours.”

“I know you will.” You fondly reply, “You always do.”

#TABF #TABF missing scene #my writing #yagi toshinori #all might #it felt good to properly address this fight #in a way that wouldn't ruin the chances of the summer camp attack happening #plus it gave all might the encouragement he would need #and fortune got to give AFO a big screw you by ruining one of his plans lol #I also wanted to have fortune talk about nighteye and mirio #to reference the changes I made to chapter 41 #also I went back and edited TABF #to show fortune recognizing mirio as a previous candidate for OFA #in the chapter when fortune looks at his profile #and the chapter when tamaki brings him up while he's eating lunch with fortune #they're minor changes #but I wanted to show that fortune did know who he was #I just didn't do it when I first wrote the fic #cause that would mean including what would have been spoilers at the time #I've also edited chapter 34 to show references to this convo #they're minor but definitely there

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thunderbird-one-ai · 4 years ago

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To Be A Father

Fate was something that the Tracy family actively tried to disprove. Some say it was fate for Scott to leave the Airforce and join his father in the start-up of International Rescue. Some say it was fate for Jeff Tracy to disappear so that International Rescue became what it is today. Some say it was fate for Scott to become the natural-born leader. Statements like these were said by so many people around the brothers. Scott actively told his younger brothers to ignore them. ‘There is no such thing as fate,’ Scott would say to his brothers. ‘You make your own future, no one else, no higher power, just you. You find your path and fly true.’

Scott would eventually say this less as his brothers got older. He said it most to Alan. Even though he was the youngest, Scott was worried that these talks of ‘fate’ would make Alan stray off the path that Alan’s heart wanted to take. The eldest Tracy wanted to make sure that whatever future Alan took, it was his own, not someone else’s. As such, Scott was always there to support Alan. Whether it concerned schoolwork, International Rescue or any other issue that Alan thought was small and insignificant, Scott would make sure Alan made the decisions from his heart because that’s what their father would have done. He would have encouraged his son to be his best in whatever he wanted to be.

Because of this, Scott saw Alan grow. Saw him fly higher than most people ever could. Travelled the world and beyond for that matter. He felt a huge sense of pride for his youngest and would always remind Alan that his father would be so proud of him. Then one day, he didn’t have to keep saying that. Because dad came home. They found him, turned their back against the fate of his death and saved their father, together, as a family.

“Dad?” Scott looked over to Alan instinctively, it had been a while since Alan had called him Dad. All his younger brothers at some point had called Scott dad which didn’t hurt Scott that much, he just smiled softly and brushed it off. He could roughly remember how many times Virgil, John and Gordon called his dad. Virgil had called him Dad twice. Once not long after the Zero X incident and another time when the second eldest was suffering from a fever. John had called him Dad six times. Each time was as unique as the last, each one taking him off guard but responding with kind words of forgiveness and love. Gordon was thirty-four times. But for Alan, Scott had lost count how many times he had giving Scott the title of Dad. Scott had almost convinced himself Alan called him Dad on purpose, but he knew he never earned or deserved that title. Scott went to reply before he heard his father. “What is it, son?” Jeff said calmly. Scott noticed the glance his father gave from next to him, they were both at the desk looking over paperwork at the time. Scott also saw Alan glance between them both and it made him swallow nervously. He was so excited to finally let his father see what kind of man Alan had grown into and yet here he was, overstepping that fragile boundary. “Brains just wanted to let you know that he had some ideas he wanted to discuss with you. He said it wasn’t too urgent hence why he didn’t comm you but asked me to let you know,” he said, Scott noticed the youngest still looking between himself and their father. “Thank you, son, I’ll get down to the hangar at some point,” Jeff said, and Alan nodded before walking over to where Gordon sat, playing a game and joined in. Scott saw his father’s head turning to look at him. He lowered his head, pretending to look like he was focusing on the papers on the desk, flicking through a few random pages to make it look like he was in deep thought, which he was. Right now, Scott was trying to find a way to explain why he reacted the way he did. He also needed to show he was sorry for overstepping that fragile boundary. “So I think this the best-“ “How many times has Alan called you that?” Jeff asked. Scott swallowed again nervously, he didn’t want to raise his head to face his father, to look him in the eye. To see the look of sheer disappointment and anger coming from his father facial features. But he couldn’t lie to his father. He couldn’t run either, there was nowhere to escape to. “A few times…” Scott mumbled. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to react to Alan asking for you.” “I’m not angry, son,” Jeff said softly, and Scott felt a hand on his shoulder. Scott finally looked up to see his father smiling at him. He didn’t look angry or upset. He looked happy, proud even, which didn’t make sense in Scott’s eyes. He just assumed the role of father figure, next to his own father. A role he promised himself he never wanted to take away. He always wanted to remind his younger brothers of how amazing their father was, yet in some cases, they still called him dad. “You’re not?” Scott asked quietly and Jeff shook his head. “Why would I be angry at my son who took on the enormous task of looking after four younger brothers by himself? Why would I be angry at you for making sure that they had the best chance at life because you supported them through everything? I’m not angry Scott. I couldn’t be prouder,” The statement took Scott by surprise, he was not expecting his father to react like that at all. He didn’t know what it was like to be a father. He had a rough idea though, from seeing how his dad acted and spoke about his younger brothers. Scott always wondered if Jeff ever said the same about him when he wasn’t around. “I thought it would stop when you came home, that I wouldn’t even react like that.” “It’s been second nature for you for a while,” “You knew?” “I had my suspicions. For starters, I wouldn’t expect anything less from you. You were always so protective of your younger brothers. You’d do anything for them.” Jeff moved to face his son properly, closing the paperwork. “When I came back, I had to do a few legal changes. During those changes, I was made aware of a few things. One of which was after Alan graduated. I had to pull a few strings to get his graduation papers because I wasn’t classed as his father on the school’s systems,” Scott looked shaken and then looked guilty. He remembered what he had done all those years ago. The thought of changing those few important details were lost to time, overruled by so many other things that were deemed more important at the time. “I…dad I’m sorry I just…. Alan’s school had arranged a trip to NASA and he was desperate to go. Grandma hadn’t turned up yet and even though it was only a few days after the accident I wanted him to go. He had been so excited, but it required a parent or guardian’s consent. Since Grandma wasn’t there and neither were you I… I changed the name on the system. God, I knew I should have changed it back afterwards, but I just forgot. I was so focused on my brothers I didn’t even think. So many things piled up at that time. By the time things started to calm down I…it wasn’t even on my mind,” Scott wasn’t one to let fear and worry show itself, but the eldest found he couldn’t stop his hands from shaking. Jeff must have noticed because Scott felt his fathers hand squeeze his shoulder. “Son. I could never be angry at you for trying to do your best and help your brothers. Those times were uncertain and in truth, that was something you never should have had to do, because you shouldn’t have been in that situation. You were a grieving son, the eldest of five brothers, you became not only head of the house but the head of the company and International Rescue. I never wanted to dump that on you. I wanted you to choose your own path, but that was taken away from you the day I got sent into space. You made it your personal mission to make sure your brother had something to look forward to in what was a devastating time. You gave him a day away, to NASA. What’s to say that that was the day he wanted to be an astronaut? What if that trip allowed him to make his mind up and want to join International Rescue? What you did, Scott, helped shaped your brother’s life. Allowed him to choose his own path and become the man he is today. Because that’s what a father does. They help their child grow and support them until the very end.” Scott sat there shocked, mouth open slightly, unable to say anything. His father was right. He did want the best for Alan, he would do anything to make sure any of his younger brothers had what they needed in order to chase their future. “I just did what you would have done,” Scott said, finally finding his voice. “No son. You did so much better.”

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fanfiction #thunderbirds 2015 #Scott Tracy #alan tracy #jeff tracy #Dad!Scott

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morgana-ren · 4 years ago

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I noticed youd said that you get more shiggy requests. So, if you'll indulge me for a sec.

We've had gatos input on how strade would be if the roles were reversed. Mc somehow had him under their control with the shock collar on.

I want your input because your writing is so detailed i know id enjoy reading what a submissive little bitch he'd become.

Please and thank you Morgana.

ily :3

Oh OH You know me so well! This is one of my favorite things to daydream about when I get angry or annoyed because since Strade is such a garbage human being, it tickles me so much to think about how cathartic it would be to turn the tables.

So as well all know, Strade, while very experienced, is not the brightest bulb in the box. He’s got years of know-how behind his expertise in kidnapping and torture, but there’s some shit that just kind of evades him sometimes. Double checking your ropes after he gets a little too excited and wants a dirty basement floor romp, for example. Thanks to his overexcitement and shit-idiot brain fungus he’s got going on, it’s entirely possible for you to slip your bonds. This mistake, in canon, costs him his life.

But what if MC wasn’t so kind?

With a level head, you might be able to scrounge around his torture room for a little bit. Maybe he has a needle with some knockout liquid hanging around for “difficult” catches. Maybe you just wait around behind the door until he walks in and smash him on the head as hard as you can and knock his ass out. Either way, he’s got plenty of restraints, and now he’s the one cuffed to a rusty pole. The look on his dumb face when he comes to is priceless.

You’re not making the same mistakes he did. He’s triple tied to that thing. You know he’s strong, and you’re playing on his home field. You’ve got to be prepared for everything. At least long enough to get upstairs and find help or call the police. Right? Right?

But what if you don’t?

What if, after he comes to and is sputtering and howling and hissing things at you in German that would make Lindemann blush, you decide not to go for help? He’s mad. He’s oh so very mad. He does not like this, not one bit. But he’s panicking beyond what you’d expect, even for a serial killer who’s been two-timed by his own victim. There’s something else in those dilated eyes. Something you’ve become very acutely familiar with over the last few days. You can still smell it lingering on you the same way it’s staining his shirt now.

Fear. He’s afraid. And not of death or capture.

I mean, he very well might be terrified of those things, but whatever it is he’s feeling right now is far overshadowing that. His face is red, and you can practically see the veins in his neck popping in rhythm with his thrumming heartbeat. He’s sweating extensively, and while that’s not uncommon for him, there’s not that macabre jolly smile plastered across his face. He’s baring his teeth and snapping at you like a feral hound, swearing to end your miserable life in a manner that would make the ghosts of his past shudder in horror for you.

You don’t put it past him to snap these ropes any second and wrap his hands so tightly around your neck that your eyes pop like overinflated balloons. Even if the cops show up and try to escort you to safety, there’s an unspoken darkness in his glare, something that promises pain in your future even if they manage to subdue him. A promise that you can’t guarantee yourself that he can’t keep.

It strikes you that you know nothing about this man.

Surely someone out there knows about this. Someone knows about him and his little hobby. Monsters run in packs and even if you can’t see them, you know they must be there. Best case scenario, they can’t have him spilling their secrets so they find a way to end his life before the police can. Worst case scenario? Worst case, they come for you.

You’ve seen enough Hollywood horror movies to know just how wrong it can go if justice is left to the authorities. You haven’t seen much of it, but this looks like a pretty nice house. If he has money, he can just buy his way out. Who is to say that he doesn’t already have a deal with the cops? Kidnapping people is risky business, especially when folks begin to notice that you’re gone. Surely he has some safety net?

What if he’s part of a network of psychopaths? There’s been enough late-night conspiracy youtube binges in your existence to know that shit like that is perfectly plausible. What if he’s just one of many? What if they have the pull to see him set free even after you’ve gone through the proper avenues to get him locked away? What if, one night, when you think he’s rotting in a 6 x 6 cement cell miles away from you, you wake up back here in this basement with even more Strades with different names and faces but each one shares the desire to see you ripped apart at the seams and devoured?

No. HELL no. You’re not going to be the cliche victim. He can bark and screech at you until his throat is sore and his gums bleed, but the plain and simple fact of the matter is that you have this monster on a leash, and you’re not about to hand that leash over to someone else.

How many people has he killed? How many have met their end in this godless basement? How many unsuspecting people has he dragged here only to take them apart piece by piece until their eyes glaze and their final breath moistens his cheek as he watches the light in their eyes extinguish? Do you even want to know? Would it make you feel better or worse to know that, at least for now, you’ve narrowly escaped such a fate?

You have to know.

His screaming turns fearful as you ascend the stairs. Again, not for fear of being caught, but because he already has been. It’s so odd to hear the phrase “Don’t leave me here!” from his quivering chest when he’s apparently in the place he values most, and there’s a sick sense of catharsis that settles in your gut as you listen to him begin to whimper and whine. You don’t let yourself dwell on it but you do slam the door behind you loudly enough that he will be forced to acknowledge that his pathetic pleas mean nothing to you.

His house is painfully average, at least for someone like him. He’s even got portraits up with what must be friends or family or someone that cares enough to pose for a cheesy photo with him. If you didn’t know better, you’d say an upstanding, if a little tacky, upper-middle class man lives here. The furniture is unremarkable and well cared for but lived in enough to not raise suspicion. His kitchen is filled with expensive appliances that might as well be fresh out of the box. His fridge, as expected, is filled with beer and various quick meals. Not much of a cook, you guess.

The car sitting in the garage costs in the six digit range and looks like it’s the most beloved thing in the entire area. It reeks of Armor All and disinfectant, and you’re willing to bet that if he was so inclined, he could put it on a showroom floor right now. He’s got tools and cables of all sorts thrown about, but not the kind you’ve gotten so used to. Maybe he actually does use them for their intended purpose sometimes.

As you walk the length of his home, you notice a distinct lack of screaming. You can’t hear anything, not even a peep from the basement, and you are very certain he’s crying up a storm down there. Interesting. He’s go this place sound proofed. You’re not sure what you’d expected, but it’s good information to have regardless.

After you’ve sated your curiosity by observing the dragon’s den, you make your way to the upper level. He’s probably not foolish enough to leave any sort of evidence behind where friends and neighbors can see it, so whatever it is you’re looking for is going to be somewhere a little bit more personal. Perhaps like a bedroom?

Bingo.

His bedroom, much like the rest of his house, looks about what you’d expect. King sized bed, wooden dresser with a TV and player on top, and a desk beneath the window. Sliding closet doors with all manner of free range dad apparel inside, and honestly, it’s the closest you’ve been to laughing since you got here. He would wear cargo shorts and plaid, wouldn’t he? A scrounge through the drawers of his dresser and closet reveal nothing remarkable, but you’re willing to bet your injured thigh that there’s something special in the desk.

Just like you’d expect, the desk is locked, but you’d noticed a pair of keys sitting willy-nilly out in the living room and you’d picked them up. About 7 key changes later and the desk pops open for you like a cheap whore. He really isn’t too bright, is he? Or maybe he just wasn’t expecting this to ever be a problem. Either way, you’re grateful he’s a moron.

Inside the drawer seems to be loads of DVDs, unmarked except for dates. It feels like you’re the unprepared cop in a serial killer movie as you look down at them. You don’t need to watch them to know what they are, but you’re going to anyway. You have to know. You need to know just who you’re dealing with here.

You pick one at random and pop it into the DVD player and the scene that greets you seems all too familiar. A hunched figure, bloodied and tied to the pole you’d become so intimate with over the last week. This person was in much worse shape than you, however. You could see shadows moving off screen and the camera fuzzes and refocuses repeatedly as what you assume is Strade messes with the controls. Not long after, he emerges, practically skipping into frame. Even though most of his face is concealed behind a hideous bandana, you can tell he’s smiling. It reaches his eyes.

He says what appears to be a rehearsed greeting and you’re left wondering just how crazy is he? Is he talking to his future self? You can see him making these videos to relive his sick, sadistic fantasies but talking to himself like an absolute lunatic is just a little disconcerting. However, you also acknowledge that the only reason you’ve even thinking about this is to distract yourself from the fact that you’re watching a homemade snuff film that you almost starred in yourself.

And then he begins.

Despite the visceral horror on display before you, the urge to vomit never comes. You watch, blank faced, as this poor soul is faced with every horror a human mind can conceive. It goes on for long. Too long. And Strade never stops talking.

The realization sets in that’s because he’s not the only one watching.

He’s not talking to himself. He’s responding. This wasn’t for him. This was for them.

If you had any emotional energy to give, surely you’d be absolutely horrified, but you don’t and you can’t. You’re not even surprised. Someone like Strade, that bubbly personality and 1,000 watt smile, of course he’d find a way to utilize his talents. He’d found a market. He had a hobby and he made money from it. ‘Love your job and you’ll never work a day in your life.’ and you are just so willing to bet he loves his fucking job.

You let the video keep playing as you sit up from his bed and leave the room. You make your way down the stairs, back to the living room, and then back to the basement door. You open it and immediately are bombarded with the sounds of his screaming and hateful vitriol. It doesn’t phase you. You’re not sure anything will ever again.

Calmly, you walk into the room and stare at him. He doesn’t cease his incessant threats until he realizes you’re waiting for him to finish so that you can speak. He finally silences himself, though he continues to rip and tear at the ropes holding him hostage as you tell him you found his little home video collection.

“Let me out.” He demands, and you realize he doesn’t quite understand that he’s not the one in control anymore. Of course a dog without a tangible leash will continue to run wild. You needed to drive the point home.

You turn your back to him and begin to ruffle through his various cabinets, searching around the nooks and crannies for something that will help him understand just what position he’s found himself in. You make a very interesting discovery next to his med kit. A collar. A literal collar.

Poetic justice.

It’s thick and burdensome and more than a little hideous. It’s definitely homemade, because not even the most fucked of BDSM sites are going to offer something like this. It’s accompanied by a small remote with a large red button and not much else. You push the button and yelp in pain, the collar clattering to the floor as it slips from your fingers. It shocked you. It was so very painful, but you’re smiling.

You retrieve it from where it fell and pop it open, observing it curiously. Strade watches you through wide eyes and sniveling, trembling lips. The look on his face is a dead giveaway that you’ve found something you really shouldn’t have. The toothy grin you flash him shows him that you understand that.

Without a word, you approach him, holding the open collar in your sweating palm. His struggles begin anew and before long he’s practically yanking his arms out at the sockets trying to get away from you and your newfound toy. He’s throwing his weight around and doing whatever he can with his limited movements to make damn sure you can’t get that terrible thing around his neck, but it’s all in vain because energy is finite and he’s been expending a lot of it over the last hour.

He’s breathing heavy and you could swear he’s begging between heaves as you clap the collar around his thick neck. His flesh bulges from the side and you’re fairly certain it was made for someone much less burly than himself in mind. You get the odd urge to adjust it on him like a necklace but he’s still dangerous, even caged. You feel weirdly... proud.

“Stop-! you don’t know what you’re doing!” He hiccups, and as he pulls his head upward, you can see he is indeed crying. “Please! Don’t!”

You’ve never thought of yourself as particularly sadistic, at least in that sense, but some ghostly force pushes your thumb down on that big red button. Watching his eyes go wide and his body convulse and seize fills you with a sense of sheer euphoria that can’t properly be conveyed. The utterly satisfying clang of his head hitting the pole at mach 5 as he shakes and bumbles almost humorously while the collar sends x amount of volts through his body makes you giggle.

When you finally pull your thumb off the button, he’s still shaking from the residual shock, drool and mucus bubbling from his mouth and nose and sloping down onto his chin. He looks defeated; utterly pathetic. Is this how you looked to him all those times he stood over you grinning as he gifted you pain the likes of which had been unthinkable to you before you met him? The desire to push down again is overwhelming but you’re determined for him to understand there’s a point to this misery.

There’s a thousand thoughts going through your mind right now faster than you can comprehend them all, but they all have the same general principal. This man is a murderer. This man is a rapist. This man is contained. This man is afraid. This man is at your mercy.

And unfortunately for him, you just ran out.

‘How many’ you ask, despite already knowing. If the videos upstairs are any indication, there’s more than he can probably count. More names and faces than he can practically remember and they’re dead because of him. He looks up at you through wet lashes with a trembling lip, already caught on to the fact that there is no correct answer. Your thumb hovers over that seductive red button and he’s quick to spit out whatever he can regardless.

“I don’t know! I don’t!”

You don’t doubt that he’s being honest, but it sickens you none he less. You press that button for half a second and he jolts up off the floor as much as his restraints will allow. When he comes to, his eyes can barely focus in on you and when his slumps over, you can see the burns from the collar already settling in on his tan skin. You’re not sure how to turn down the voltage or how lethal it is, but you don’t really care at the moment. If he dies, he dies. You’ll deal with the complications of that later.

You could sit here all day and grill him, literally and figuratively, about his track record of atrocities, but it won’t bring you any peace. You’re not sure that peace is something that you’ll ever feel again, all things considered. Meeting the monsters that dwell in the dark is drastically different than simply acknowledging that they exist, and through some twist of fate, you’ve been given the opportunity to show this particular monster that he’s no longer at the top of the food chain. There’s so much you could do, so many things you want to do, and it’s at that moment you realize you’ve spent too long staring into the abyss to try and claw your way out.

You’re being offered the chance they never were. You’re holding the controls now. He’s already crying and you’ve barely touched him, barely done anything besides shock him a little. You remember that feeling well. If you recall, you were already crying before he put that knife to your thigh on your first day with him.

Truth is, you decided the second he fell unconscious what you were going to do.

Maybe a revenge like this isn’t yours to take, but you’re taking it regardless. For yourself, and for every sorry sap that’s met their end in his cement hellhole. They died for you to have this opportunity, and you’d like to think that maybe they’re there with you in this moment. Even if you never knew them, you feel a strange kinship with them. After all, it was almost you.

He continues to babble underneath his breath, various pleas for mercy or sympathy or any form of compassion you can muster from your still aching body, and though you desperately wish you did, you can’t find any. You’re certain when you look in the mirror next, it won’t be your own eyes looking back at you anymore, but something closer to his. Maybe you did die in this basement, because whoever you were before you met him is long gone and has been replaced with something so much more empty.

You explain to him, as gently as you can, that it’s your turn now, and his resistance will only make this harder. You don’t delight in seeing him in pain (whether or not that’s a lie has yet to be determined) but it’s a necessary evil for all he’s done. You don’t believe his life is yours to take, but you’d be as terrible as him if you let him loose on the world again. You can’t trust anyone but yourself, and since this situation is so delicate, you need a bit more time to think on it.

He doesn’t seem to understand, at least until you’re binding his legs and securing his head snuggly to the pole. Maybe it’s overkill considering the man looks like he belongs in a shibari magazine right now, but there’s no precautions you can’t take. You can’t have him escaping. It’s far too soon, and you have such wonderful things planned.

Were you a kinder soul, maybe you would put him to sleep because it’s so apparent he’s terrified. Being bound like this has really brought out his inner little bitch, and the way he’s looking, he’s going to piss himself. But its a price it’s only fair that he pay, all things considered. You don’t know what time it is or even where you are, but you know you’ll return to him when you’ve been rejuvenated, eager and ready to begin on him. You’re only a few steps toward the door when he begins shouting, words barely discernible between his emphatic weeping and sobbing hiccups.

“D-don’t leave me here in the dark! Let me go, let me out! You can’t! You can’t leave me here like this!” You grin softly, turning slowly to face him, and tell him that you can and you will. You ask what he’s so afraid of, but you don’t wait to hear the answer as you step through the frame and shut the door behind you, leaving him to rot in his personal dungeon. It’s only been an hour and he’s already so pliable. You wonder what you can make him do when you really make it hurt. Psychology says it takes 7 years to brainwash someone and coerce them into absolute compliance, but you’re willing to bet you can have it done in a few months.

You already know one of his fears, and are very clearly not ashamed to exploit it. How many else does he have, you might wonder, already planning tomorrow’s festivities. Maybe you were sicker in the head than you thought. Maybe Strade just brought out the worst in you, stripped away all that made you human and left you with raw hurt and despair.

It’s tempting. To give in. To sit and massage your aching body while listening to his screams as they echo through the soundproofed basement. But you’re tired, and you haven’t slept in a bed in over a week. His looked awfully nice. Maybe after that, you’d wash the dried blood from your battered body, order some food, and appreciate the niceties that civilized life had to offer. Niceties you took for granted.

After that? Well, after that you had a new pet to train.

#snaspants #Strade #BTD #NSFT #tw torture mention #im mean just mean lmao #IM LOVE YOU GIRL!!

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wowtobio · 5 years ago

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Hello! May I ask fall in love, confession and relationship haedcanons for Miya Atsumu please? Good luck!

of course! tysm for the request and i hope u enjoy! 💕

Fall in love

• The Inarizaki volleyball team found themselves in a minor problem. They needed a manager who actually knew what they were doing. This was the third girl this year who proved yet again they only managed (horribly) to fawn over the Miya twins. The team grew agitated at this, especially towards Atsumu as he particularly fed the fuel for these fangirl managers. To get his team off his back, Atsumu promised he would find a good, worthy manager.

• With that promise established, it was actually more difficult than he thought it would be. As proven, only fangirls volunteered to the position, however was rejected by Atsumu and his correct assumption of the girls true intentions. And then potential managers would later turn down the role due to fear of backlash from their fanclub and the volleyball team’s prestigious title within the school.

• Atsumu makes an inaudible sigh to himself, casually strolling through the halls to practice. That is until he heard a small commotion around the corner,

“You’re so stuck up and you are not worthy to tell me off like that!” Atsumu was intrigued and hid behind the lockers to eavesdrop, soon he hears a bored, monotone voice respond nonchalantly back.

“Truth hurts love, so please excuse me I am trying to go home.” He recognized the monotoned girl in his class, (y/n) (l/n). You were known to be quite cold and quiet and kept to yourself. Atsumu tried to rack his brain if you were in any clubs but his thoughts interrupted by the latter girl starting to become aggressive.

“Haha! I knew it you are scared of me! Of course you would be!” The girl then grabbed your collar and attempted to shake you, however on instinct Atsumu broke you two apart. The other girl’s eyes widened at the sight of Atsumu protectively hiding you behind his arm.

“Oi, the girl said back off so back off.” He lowly says. That was more than enough to scare the girl off. You wear the same face you’ve had for the majority of the events that unfolded and you turn your back towards the blonde twin, walking away.

“OI!” Atsumu chases after you, “Not even a thank you?” You continued to walk.

“Thank you.” You mumbled. Atsumu scoffed and stood in front of you, forcing you to stop your tracks. You sighed out

“Look, it was already annoying enough dealing with that one girl. And I definitely do not want to deal with you of all people.” You mumbled. Atsumu was taken aback at your words, I mean this was the most he has ever heard you speak.

“Okay okay, how ‘bout we make a deal,” You raised an eyebrow. “I assume yah aren’t in a club, and since I saved yah back there, wanna manage the volleyball team?” You eyed him oddly.

• It was true, you did not have many friends nor a club to confide yourself in. You thought hey screw it, what could go wrong? So you nodded your head slowly, sealing your fate. Atsumu smirked at this and grabbed a hold of your wrist and started to drag you to the gym.

“That’s great! You can start today.” You barely trail behind him, the dusting of pink on your cheeks go unnoticed by the setter.

• At first, the team was skeptical of you of course. But you quickly proved yourself worthy. By the time the first practice was done, you had already learned the terms and gameplays and quickly cleaned everything up afterwards. The next day you even went around asking the members for their names, roles and strengths.

“Miya Atsumu, setter, and the man of your dreams.” His teammates couldn’t help but cringe.

“Yeah I think you’re the one dreaming.” You casually say back, not even batting an eyelash at him. That caught him off guard as his teammates snickered. As you walked away, the members start to praise you

“You know Atsumu, she’s actually a lot better than I expected.” Aran says.

“Yeah..” Atsumu’s heart beats faster, watching your figure walk away, your hair sways along with your hips as he can’t help but have a weird feeling in his chest. A feeling that has never occurred towards anyone.

“She really is..”

Confession

• It has been a few weeks since you first became manager and now one of the games came up. You did as much research on the other team as you could and devised a game plan and a few tips and tricks for your team.

• It was game day and after warm ups you huddle the team together and state your game plan for the day. And you went ham.

“Alright, so their number 8 is quite cunning from what I’ve learned, he does not fall for predictable stunts and communicates that to his team. So, Astumu and Osamu i want you two to switch between setting and spiking at random times to catch them off guard and keep them on their toes. Suna, keep your eye on the ace, you’ll be able to block his spikes I can tell. After a few blocks their ace will feel frazzled and that will give us time to score big time. As for Kita, keep doing..”

• Not a single stutter in your words, you spoke with authority and with confidence as Atsumu lopsidedly grins at your grown determination to help the team. Everyone was somewhat caught off guard but listened to your voice tentatively.

“And that’ll be it for now, I’ll be on the sidelines cheering you guys on and taking further notes. Good luck out there I know you guys got this!” You clicked your pen and gave your team high-fives and they smile, thank you and even give you pats on the back and the head.

“Will you be cheering for me (y/n)-chan?” Atsumu flirtatiously whispers in your ear. You push him away slightly and just laugh

“You know I will idiot. Make sure not to mess up that first serve drama queen.” You wave off Atsumu’s complaints of people not knowing how to be quiet during his serves and you stand nearby the bench coach sat on.

• The game was a breeze with your game strategies as Inarizaki wins easily. You jump up and down and cheer with your team as they smother you with hugs and thank yous. You have proven your worth to the team and the coach your true intentions and what you could do for them. You felt warm being around the team and you enjoyed watching them practice, play, and especially win.

• Your attention turns to Atsumu, his casual smile on and his arms crossed as if he was expecting something from you. You playfully roll your eyes and walk towards the guy.

“Congraaaagulations oh great Miya Astumu!” You mockingly state, Atsumu couldn’t help but laugh.

“What the hell was that (y/n)?” You giggled.

“What? Did I nail the role of your fan girl?” Atsumu shakes his head and laughs.

“Besides I enjoy being on this team, so thank you for dragging me into this situation.” You smile lightly. Atsumu has never seen this side of you, he almost stutters as he says

“Well, I mean you owed me I did save yah back there.” You giggled and give him a quick peck on the cheek.

“No silly, I partly said yes because I knew I end up falling for you.” You then left it at there and went to help tear down. Atsumu feels his face getting hot and the lingering eyes of his teammates.

“W-wait. does that mean..?” He mumbles to himself.

“Idiot brother.”

“SHUT YER TRAP”

Relationship

(this won’t be as story-telling, more casual (??) idk lol)

• He’s soososo clingy to you, it’s almost like he’s glue. And he ofc doesn’t mind pda. If anything he is so for it, only if you are comfortable

• He always has to be touching you, whether it’d be hand holding, hand on the hip, arm around the shoulder. Hugging, kissing, etc. He always craves for your touch

• And if you aren’t comfortable with it, he still finds his way. Hiding your hands when holding them somehow, holding pinkies, hand on your thigh underneath the table

• Since your the manager, he stares at you a lot during practice. Both teasingly or just without even realizing it. He loves it when you notice it too and get all embarassed. And during water breaks he takes that chance to talk to you.

• Probably has had make-out sessions in the locker rooms before or after practice. He loves taking risks and throwing caution towards the wind with you. And you would never admit it, but it gets you excited and he knows it ;)

• Really cares for you though, if you’re not at school he’s texting you. Not responding? He’ll ditch school and run to your house ignoring Osamu’s yelling

• He shows you off all the time, maybe a little too much. He will never pass up the opportunity to show off you’re his amazing girlfriend by either declaring it to others or physically showing it off with hugs and kisses

• BACKHUGS he loves them. Surprising you from behind with a hug is his favorite thing in the world that he does daily, bonus points for your cute, flustered state it results in

• He’s probably tried to convince you to skip practice on days he isn’t feeling it. Most of the time you scold him. But on rare occasions you give in, and end up cuddling with him alllllll day. He doesn’t regret it one bit, feeling you encased in his big arms and hearing your soft snoring and breathing, face flush on his chest. You’re so adorable omg

• ok maybe he does regret it the next day when Kita triples his drills as punishment and you can’t help but snicker with his teammates from a distance

• Free time is literally just with him. He prioritizes you as much as you do him and you two are quite busy so when alone time does come around it won’t be long until the other joins in

• You cook for him every now and then too. Although Osamu knows how too, he preferred you cooked for Atsumu as it’s less hassle and bickering for him to deal with

• Atsumu is surprisingly a picky eater, but when it comes to what you make for him he always eats it, no complaints. As a prank you sometimes purposely burn a few things and you silently laugh at his attempts to eat them

• A loving kiss to thank you for the meal that may or may not escalate to something else ;)

• Be warned, he will spam your phone with “i miss you” texts. You’ll be gone for literally 5-10 minutes and come back with 40 new messages

“‘tsumu i was showering…”

“WITHOUT ME??”

“-_-”

• He treasures your down time together though. Cuddling while watching tv, cooking together, teasing each other, etc.

• He loves it when you sit on his lap. You two will be on the couch watching a movie, he grips your wrist and pulls you on top of his lap. Your face buries itself in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. His chin propped on your shoulder, arms wrapped around your waist pulling you impossibly closer to him

• You know how to put this annoying little brat in his place and he lowkey finds it hot. And in a way Atsumu appreciates it since you’re literally the only girl who has the balls too

• Even with his endless amounts of teasing, he truly loves and cares for you and he will do anything for you. As he kisses your neck lightly he reminds you why he loves you every single day you’re together and he plans to someday claim you once and for all with a ring. Someday

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erin-bo-berin · 5 years ago

Text

Wanna Be Bad

MASTERLIST

I’ll be honest, the idea for this fic came when I was listening to early 2000′s music from my childhood. This was inspired by the song I Wanna Be Bad by Willa Ford (hence why I titled it after the song). If you want to check out the song or listen to it while you read this (which I recommend) you can do so here. Gotta admit though that little 8 year old me had no idea what the ACTUAL meaning of the song was until much, much later. Anyway, this is a different format than I have written so far, cause I’ve included the lyrics in the story since different parts seem to actually describe what’s going on. The lyrics will be in italics between parts of the story. Hope you all enjoy!

Spencer Reid/Reader

Rating: Mature (smut)

Word Count: 3,524

Do you understand

What I need, need from you?

Just let me be the girl

To show you, you

Everything that she can be

Is everything that I can be

Fucking Spencer Reid.

Spencer Reid; aka your FBI partner and the one man that you can’t get out of your mind.

He’d been your partner for over 3 years and extremely welcoming when you joined the Behavioral Analyst Unit of the FBI. At first, he wasn’t a problem and you were friendly.

Until it slowly dawned on you just how attracted you are to him. It had hit you like a bucket of ice water had been poured over your head. That shock was bad enough.

What was worse was the no fraternization between team members rule that came from the unit chief. She was friendly and a team player but it was something that she was strict about. It had never been a problem before, since the rest of the team’s significant others were not a part of the BAU, let alone worked in the FBI.

But here you were, with a growing attraction to him. It was a crappy situation knowing that your one sided sexual tension with him could never be acted upon simply because you knew Spencer was one to follow the rules.

My turn

Let me let you know that

I can’t promise that I won’t do that

So, boy say the time and place

Cause you make me want to misbehave

The things you would do the man.

The things you wish you could do to him.

Your eyes follow him, along with the other teammates. He’s currently explaining a geographical profile he’d worked on for a current case. You’re thankful that all eyes are on him because it disguises your own staring.

You can’t lie, your partner is drop dead gorgeous. Over 6 feet tall—coming in at approximately 6’1, he’s long and lean but with some definite muscle to him. He’s not scrawny like he once was, something the team likes to playfully tease him about, once showing you pictures of the decade younger Reid.

He’s also gotten even more attractive as he aged. Not that he wasn’t cute when he was younger, but he’s aging like a fine wine. At 38, he’s even better looking than you could fathom.

His brown locks that he always changes up is now on the longer side, his curls sometimes more wild, sometimes more tamed. You’ve imagined many times running your fingers through them.

His dark eyes are as much of a wild card as he is. At times appearing green, others looking like a rich brown. You’d guess they’re hazel but you’re not exactly sure. It’s not like you can bring that up into a random conversation without sounding totally crazy.

He sported more of an unshaven look these days. After many years of being clean shaven as a young FBI profiler—again, you’d seen plenty of pictures—he had quite the scruffy look going on. Needless to say, you were a big fan.

Now, his lips, something you’d fantasized about a lot. He had lips most women would envy, plump and quite the pale shade of pink. Sometimes they’d darken a shade when he bit down on them while he was thinking.

Speaking of, he had one of the best smiles you had probably ever seen on a man. One that was sure to get any woman’s lady bits roaring.

He kinda also had this habit of licking his lips. It was definitely something he wasn’t conscious of as he did it quite often. Whether it was while he was working, when he was thinking, before saying something, everytime it happened you could feel a desire form deep within you.

Oh, the things that tongue could potentially do.

But it didn’t stop with just looks with the good doctor.

His mind was probably the sexiest thing about him.

His brain was filled with an immense amount of knowledge. At first it had surprised you at just how attractive you found it, but you quickly learned that you loved to hear him share his facts and statistics. He truly was like no other.

Sometimes you purposely mixed up your facts just so he’d correct you.

And he would. Every single time.

It’s a shame he couldn’t talk smart between your legs.

Spencer Reid was definitely a wild card alright.

To be so smart, he was hard to figure out. He always seemed to be more reserved with you than the rest of the team members. You knew it could possibly be the case that he’d known them longer, but it always felt like he held himself back.

Your eyes followed his movements, his hands gesturing wildly at his display as he talked.

His hands were large, with long slender fingers, often used to mess with a pen or pencil absently, or to push his hair back out of his eyes. You didn’t have to explain the kinds of things you’d imagined regarding them.

Today, he was in a navy blue suit, a purple button down and a matching navy tie. He looked good. Not saying there wasn’t a time that he wasn’t, but there was something about today’s attire that was better than usual.

Purple really suited him, you thought.

It’s a shame (really, a damn shame) that you knew he would never break the rules because if he ever named the time and place...well let’s just say you wouldn’t turn him down in the least.

Maybe it was time to up your game a little.

I wanna be bad

You make bad look so good

I got things on my mind

I never thought I would

In any other situation you would’ve never thought about tempting fate and ignoring a rule made by your boss. You had sense enough to know it was a bad idea, but something about Spencer was so intoxicating, it was like you could never get enough. The desire burned through you constantly like a paper set aflame.

You told yourself it wasn’t a crime to look nice for work. You had a job where it was reasonable to be a bit more dressy and make yourself look nice. But deep down, you knew you wanted to test the limits.

You went to work one day dressed in a tight black fitting skirt, one that hugged your ass perfectly along with a turquoise button down, some cleavage purposely on show. Paired with a pair of your strappy black work heels, you were prepared to face the day.

Never in a million years did you imagine doing something like this, but here you were. Wild thoughts of Spencer ran rampant in your mind, even in the middle of cases to the point you had to try twice as hard to focus. Maybe it was time for him to have a taste of his own medicine.

It puzzled you for most of the day when he seemed to ignore you more than usual. You’d figured your attraction to him was one sided, but the change in his behavior hurt a bit, knowing he was only interacting with you when he absolutely had to. At the end of the day, he was still your partner.

It was only during a briefing later on, when you were actually entirely focused on work that you felt eyes on you. Your gaze cut across the table just in time to see Spencer’s eyes rake across you, licking his lips in the process. His eyes cut away quickly when his met yours and he grabbed for his cup of coffee taking a drink, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed.

He was definitely trying to appear as if he wasn’t just staring at you moments before.

A heat stirred within you as you’d realized what had just happened.

Something was brewing.

I, I wanna be bad

You make bad feel so good

I’m losing all my cool

I’m about to break the rules

I, I wanna be bad

The tension had begun, ironically, during a raid on a case you were working on.

After working surveillance with Spencer alone, you’d caught the perp in the act and called for backup immediately. SWAT was already ahead of you, waiting for instructions.

In efforts of a surprise takeover, you both were hidden in a cramped space to try and locate his current location before you sent SWAT inside.

His breath was hot on your neck and you were pressed against him, his chest flesh with your back, all while your ass was pressed against his crotch.

You didn’t miss his sharp intake of breath even though you pretended not to hear it.

Attempting to free yourself of the small space, you happened to brush across him, more specifically his crotch. His hand immediately flew to your hip, grabbing you a little harder than necessary. Your mind was whirling enough as it was at the close proximity.

“Not yet,” he whispered, low enough for you to hear, “SWAT’s about to go in.”

A moment later you both were on the move behind them, announcing that you were FBI. But you didn’t forget the moment that was now seared into your mind.

Spencer was definitely the only one you’d break the rules for.

I want to be bad with you, baby

•

What’s up?

Tell me what to do, how to be

Teach me

All your rules from A to Z

But I don’t want your other girl to see

That you’re messing ‘round with me

You and Spencer didn’t speak about the incident.

But suddenly, his rules had seemed to change.

When it was just the two of you, he actually seemed to flirt with you.

“You not tired yet?” he’d grinned, seeing you pick up more paperwork you’d need to complete before next week.

“Oh, but what if I said that this stack was all yours Spence?”

“Oof,” he mock grimaced, putting a hand dramatically over his heart, “Why do you wound me so?”

You chuckled, plopping it down on your desk, before sitting in your chair.

“Unfortunately, that pile is all mine.”

“Well maybe I can stay late to keep you company and watch you in your misery.” A smirk ghosted over his lips.

You bit your lip, watching him.

He was definitely flirting. Wasn’t he? But you could admit you were bantering more with him, returning his own flirty comments.

Only, that is, when no one else was around.

It wasn’t a secret that things like this had to be hidden from your unit chief. If she had caught wind or even a tiny bit of suspicion what was simmering between you both, you could possibly be in trouble.

“Oh please, don’t go out of your way to ruin your evening plans with my misery,” you deadpanned, even though he knew you were kidding.

“Let me know if you need anything. A pen, food, a shoulder to cry on.”

You peer sideways at him, half grinning.

“What was that last one?”

He points to his shoulder, a faux frown on his face before chuckling.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Should I boy?

Tell me what I got is what you want

Tell, tell me do I, I turn you on?

I don’t want no one judging me

You cannot believe that the team suggested you and Spencer being the ones to go undercover to catch your current unsub. Of all the places.

You were tracking an unsub that was currently killing exotic dancers; his hunting ground being a certain strip club which is where you were currently undercover as, you guessed it, one of the dancers.

Spencer, on the other hand, was dressed as one of the many rich gentleman in the audience, playing the part of another regular man come to see the show. You both had your eyes out on the floor in search of our current unsub.

“Y/N,” came from the hidden earpiece was your boss.

“Be as coy as possible, but refuse any activities with any of the other men. We want to see if that brings our unsub out. You tell them your client is Reid, got it?”

You groan inwardly. This was your worst nightmare due to the fact that your sexual tension was at an all time high with him. You’d rather not jump him with the whole team just outside.

As part of your undercover identity, Candi, you were dressed in a tasseled, silver one piece, cut all the way down your torso to show off your stomach, your boobs practically spilling out of the small swath of fabric covering them. There was just enough fabric to cover your nether regions and it all tied in the back with two thin strings. Basically, it left little to the imagination.

“Sweetheart, how about a little dance?” came from your left.

A distinguished looking gentleman, with white hair held out a twenty in your direction, a grin on his face.

“Sorry, already promised one to that gentleman,” you motioned to Spencer, who was in character, watching some of the other dancers, his eyes roaming the room before they landed on you.

“Gotta go,” you said, with a flirtatious smile.

The man shrugged and turned his attention to another girl.

You approached Spencer, trying to calm your nerves and keep in character. You put a hand on his shoulder flirtatiously and greet him.

“Hi there, big boy.”

You walk around to face him, hands resting on the back of his chair as you lean into him, pushing your ass outwards while pressing your breasts against his chest.

“How’s it going?” you mumble lowly in his ear.

Your hands trail over his shoulders as your hips sway back and forth in front of him.

“Nothing yet. I, um, I’ve been keeping an eye out.”

You nod, continuing on. You flip your hair as you turn, your ass grazing his crotch. Your hands glide up your legs as you turn to face him again, your touch moving up your stomach reaching your boobs, beginning to rub them sensually as you bite your lip. Your eyes lock on his as your hands slide up his thighs before you settle in his lap, his hands resting on your bare sides.

His eyes haven’t left you since you began and you see his teeth scrape his bottom lip momentarily.

“Anyone look suspicious?” you whisper, leaning forward as your hips grind slowly.

His breathing sounds heavier than before and he struggles to answer your question.

“One guy in the corner hasn’t taken his eyes off you.”

Your fingertips trail down his chest. Holding on to the edge of the chair, you lean backwards slowly, in an attempt to be tantalizing and sexy like you’ve seen the other girls do, but also to see the guy Spencer was referring to. You peer to the corner towards your left quickly and see what he’s talking about.

You hum your agreement and move upright, one arm raised above your head, your fingertips trailing down the opposite arm. His fingers dig into your hips as your hips circle above his crotch.

“Y/N,” he rasped.

It’s then that your thigh brushes his crotch that you can feel he’s hard. You inhale, your eyes widening the slightest as you look at him; his eyes haven’t left you.

Suddenly a voice fills your ear and you know Spencer heard it too.

“We got him!”

I wanna be bad

You make bad look so good

I got things on my mind

I never thought I would

After a clothes change, you were back in your normal clothes post undercover job. The heat still burned inside of you hours after what happened at the club.

You all, indeed, captured the right unsub. Apparently you had caught his eye since you were “new”. Looked like Spencer had been right.

Speaking of, he had practically disappeared after the team bust in to arrest him. You hadn’t seen him until you had gotten back to the BAU and even then he was across the room discussing a closing report with one of the other agents.

You bit your thumbnail as you paced the room. You couldn’t hold out any longer and you knew you had to do something. You were in an empty office down the hall from the BAU unit, knowing he’d be down the hall at any moment.

Mere minutes later you heard footsteps and you opened the door just enough to see him coming down the hall, looking at a file as he walked. You grabbed his arm and pulled him into the room, closing the door behind him.

His back was against the door and he looked down at you, a slight squint to his eyes, his tongue moving over his lips as he—as usual—licked his lips.

“I had to do something,” you said by way of explanation before grabbing him by his tie and pulling him down towards you.

I, I wanna be bad

You make bad feel so good

I’m losing all my cool

I’m about to break the rules

I, I wanna be bad

Your lips met his in a burning kiss. You heard a plop of the file as he tosses it carelessly on the floor before pulling you closer, his lips moving quickly with yours. His hands hooked behind your thighs and he hoisted you up, carrying you towards the empty desk in the room.

“Fuck, earlier,” he breathed, kissing down your jaw, “You drove me crazy.”

“I kinda sensed that,” you chuckled, “Sorry about that.”

He nips your jaw, bending lower to kiss your neck as he sets you on the desk.

“All it took was one look at you in that outfit and I was already hard,” he groaned into your neck, sucking on a spot before flicking his tongue over the bruised skin.

“Why Spencer Reid, do I turn you on?” you smirked, pulling at his tie to undo it.

“Fuck yes. Probably as much as I turn you on, sweetheart.”

Your teeth raked over your bottom lip as the heat roils inside of you. You’re throbbing with want and need; you have an itch only he can possibly scratch.

He has your shirt over your head before you can even get his tie off. He lowers you back against the top of the desk, kissing down your torso, his hands working to remove.

“This is an unfair advantage here,” you moaned, “You’re way overdressed.”

He tosses his tie before pulling off your pants and underwear and you sit up on your elbows, watching him.

With one lick up your slit, you’re a moaning mess.

“I always imagined you talking smart between my legs,” you mumbled, anticipating his next move.

“Mm, that’s something to try another day,” Spencer smirks, unfastening his pants.

He leans over you, kissing you roughly as he slides inside you. He moans against your mouth, his teeth gently tugging your bottom lip as he pulls away and thrusts slow and deep within you.

“Damnit, Spencer you are not going to tease me now like you have for the last 3 years.”

He chuckles, standing upright again, pulling you to the edge and as closely as possible to him as his hips move faster and harder.

It’s rough and fast as if you can’t get enough of each other and he’s quickly got you writhing on the desktop.

“Fucking shit, Y/N,” your name drags from his lips in a low grown.

This was so much better than you’d even imagined, the lighting fire of ecstasy in your veins being caused by no one but him. Your hands grip the edge of the desk so hard your knuckles turn white.

“Spence!” you shrieked loudly as he hits a particular sensitive spot.

You’re so glad there’s no one else around down the hall.

“Oh my god,” he moans, his own release falling over him.

Your gaze takes in his slackened jaw and thrown back head, his throat vibrating with his groans. It’s so incredibly sexy, you almost go over the edge yourself at the sight.

His thumb circles your clit, insistent on getting you off as well. The pressure builds inside you until you can’t contain it anymore and you let go, ecstasy flowing through your veins, his name falling from your lips repeatedly.

When you finally feel like you can breathe again, you struggle to sit up, already missing the feeling of him inside of you.

“Good God, if only I knew you were as good at that as you are at profiling,” you said, half dazed, reaching for your clothes as he hands them to you.

He snickered as he pulls himself together, bending down to pick up the file on the floor and heads to the door. He stops with one hand on the doorknob and looks at you.

“You know, I kinda hope this isn’t a one time thing,” he said, almost meekly.

Your answer puts a smile on his face.

“Believe me. Next time, I’m having my way with you.”

I, I wanna be bad.

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