#this update is just sorta okay but I just gotta get it over with

[elviraaxen]

comic is Going!! It sure is going!!

[peaches2217]

My first therapy appointment in several months went really well! I’m returning to the councilor I’ve had for a couple years now. I updated her on my transition journey because the last time I saw her was a couple weeks before I started on T; I told her about coming out to my dad last night, and how disappointing it was.

The ensuing conversation was both productive, and so fucking validating.

My recent depressive episode? Complicated by an event with a former friend, but set into motion, and dragged out for so long, because of the stress of what was to come. My voice has gotten too low to even PRETEND it’s just a holdover from being sick or part of allergies or what have you. I’ve known for the past month that the time to tell my dad was coming. The fear of his reaction and the consequences it could bring since I’m currently in a financially vulnerable place was killing me.

And as we talked, I figured out that the unpredictability is still my only real, big fear: my dad promised me he wouldn’t kick me out, but there’s that lingering fear that he could change his mind, and even if he doesn’t, he could start draining my paychecks — I told him my GAC, insurance copays and all, has been coming exclusively out of my pocket, so I get the sneaking suspicion he’s gonna take advantage of us sharing a bank account and deepen that financial dependency. And above all, I’m afraid of losing our relationship. I’m okay with him not accepting my identity so long as he doesn’t treat me any differently in spite of it. But if he starts pulling away or pushing me away or withholding love as punishment for following down a path he disapproves of, what then?

My counselor told me that, sad as it is, I can’t control how he chooses to react. But I have my mom and brother’s support, my girlfriend’s support, and an online community of friends; if I lose my relationship with him, that’s ultimately his decision and his loss, and no matter what he does, I won’t face it alone.

I had hoped that assuring him I felt God’s peace in my choices and that I’d spent years praying over the situation would at least sorta put him at ease, but all he did was infantilize and illegitimize my entire experience as guided by evil and selfishness. I can’t reason with him or come to a happy medium with him like I did with my mom. The faith he’s praised me for sticking close to he’s now decided is all lies and self-delusion simply because he doesn’t like the conclusions I’ve come to. Nothing I do will satisfy or convince him… so why waste energy trying?

I just have to live with his disappointment, and as much as it hurts, it’s also freeing. I’ve done all I can do. I don’t have to hide anymore. I don’t have to live with the stress of what will happen once he knows, because for better or worse, he knows now. If he doesn’t like it, so be it. I’ve laid my cards down, and how things progress between us is entirely up to him. When I put aside my stress over our relationship, I feel nothing but confidence and happiness and certainty. If he thinks this is a mistake… well, he’s gotta let me make my mistakes. I spent 20+ years not doing anything for fear of what bad might happen, and that left me a suicidal wreck by age 18. I won’t sit by and let ominous warnings and premonitions hold me back any longer. It COULD be a mistake, or it COULD be the best decision I’ve ever made. How will I know if I freeze up in fear?

My counselor noted several times that I look, sound, and act more confident than she’s ever seen from me. Without the pressure of keeping secrets, I’m able to more easily sort between what thoughts are mind and what thoughts my dad, my trauma, or both have planted in my head. I can say with my whole chest that I feel I’m going in the right direction. I can even say “Fuck it, my dad’s approval or disapproval is on him, not me” with greater conviction. I’m acting on things I’ve wanted from the moment we first spoke, and she says the positive change it’s made radiates off of me. She said she’s extremely proud of the progress I’ve made.

I’ll be seeing her again next week, then dropping down to seeing her every other week. In spite of how relatively poorly last night went, I feel empowered. God I’m so glad to be back.

[sashaisready]

Chapter 6 - File

Nick Fowler x Shy CIA Employee

Under the Radar Masterlist

Chapter 5 - Done

Warnings: references to sex trafficking

(I’m sorry in advance for this 😵‍💫)

Wordcount: 2452

You went to work the following day with your head held high. Nick was actually out of the picture, you could finally move forward with your life.

As long as you ignored the nagging feeling of longing deep in the pit of your stomach.  

You slipped into your desk chair and logged on as Agent Leigh walked by, waving cheerily at you. You waved back awkwardly, forcing a smile as he disappeared down the hallway. His face has healed up nicely over the last few weeks. He’d been acting really strangely since the black eye incident, always making an effort to greet you and engaging in small talk. You almost preferred when he didn’t know you existed.

You were sorting out your inbox when Joe appeared at your desk. Your face lit up and you couldn’t ignore the little surge of happiness at seeing him. 

“Hey! How are you? How did it all go? You didn’t text me back yesterday - I was worried”.

He smiled, running a hand through his hair. Hot. 

“Sorry…it ran late and I was so exhausted by the time I got home I just sorta collapsed. But it went perfectly, I’ll tell you all about it later - but right now, Walsh has requested to see us”.

“Alright…is everything okay?” You asked tentatively.

Joe shrugged. “I guess? Maybe he just wants to debrief after yesterday. Or maybe he’s got an update on Colebrook and the truck”.

“Imagine if he’s in custody? That would be amazing” you beamed. 

Joe smiled back. “Here’s hoping”.

You both walked to Walsh’s office who asked you to sit down. He had a face like thunder and you knew it was bad news before he’d even opened his mouth. 

“Both…I’m sorry to tell you that Colebrook has gone AWOL. He disappeared right before our guys came by to arrest him. Looks like he may have travelled out of state and he dumped the truck. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I know how hard you both worked on this. Especially you, with the CCTV” he sighed, nodding your direction. 

You were unable to mask your disappointment. All those hours trawling through the footage, staying here until the early hours…it had all been for nothing.

“No….” You said softly.

Joe whispered “Damn”.

Walsh grimaced. “I’m afraid so…look, it doesn’t take anything away from your achievement, alright? It’s just the way it goes sometimes. We win some, we lose some. We just gotta keep going. We’ll find another lead. It’s only a matter of time”. He checked his watch. “Alright. Get back to it. Dismissed”.

You trudged out of the office, your ankles feeling like they had weights attached as you slumped into the conference room.

“Hey…it’s okay” Joe soothed. “Like Walsh said, it happens”.

You sighed as you sank into a chair. Logically you knew he was right but you were disheartened all the same.

“What happened? How did he know?” You asked, not particularly to Joe, just generally.

Joe sighed. “Who knows. Maybe he has a source in the sheriff’s department. Maybe the informant is playing both sides, or someone figured out the CCTV had been compromised. Or maybe…it was just an unlucky coincidence. Maybe he was always planning to move on at this time and we just missed him by a few hours”.

You exhaled, leaning over and pushing your face against the cool wood of the table. “I thought this was going to be it…” your voice was muffled against the surface.

“It’s crazy how we can’t track down a single person at the top of this thing” you continued. “How do they keep evading us?”

Joe leaned over and placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. You felt a jolt of electricity and felt grateful he couldn’t see your face.

“Look…you care so much” he said kindly. “And it’s not a flaw…but the fact is, the nature of this work means that sometimes you will unfortunately spend hours - maybe days or weeks - on bad leads. It sucks. But you’ve just gotta move onto the next one. The bad guys want you to be apathetic. They want you to feel like giving up. But we can’t let them win”.

You sat up straight again, looking into his kind eyes once more. “You always know what to say” you sighed. “Thanks Joe”.

He smiled. “I’m always here for you. You know that”.

“How do you do it? How do you not let it bring you down when this stuff happens?”

He shrugged. “Experience, I guess. I’ve been through this far more than you have. On one of my first cases I spent two weeks following a guy to figure out his routine, only to find out the real guy had actually fled to South America weeks before - and the guy I’d been following was some decoy who had been paid to wear a disguise. Just a random dude in a fake beard and sunglasses”.

“No!” You gasped.

He chuckled. “Sadly, yes. I was hiding out in dumpsters and everything. Can laugh about it now…but at the time I wanted to quit the CIA and run out to the country to become a farmer or something instead”.

You smiled wistfully. “Well, I’m glad you didn’t”.

He smiled back, giving your shoulder a little squeeze.

“Me too…” he said fondly. 

Before you knew it you found yourself leaning into him, it was just so…easy and clear. Uncomplicated. Not like Nick…although Nick was…well, Nick. 

Joe wasn’t Nick though was he? And maybe that’s the problem.

You ignored that stray thought and leaned in further. You watched as Joe’s eyes dropped to your lips, then he leaned in too, tilting his head. You were mere inches apart when he stopped suddenly.

“We can’t…” he breathed. 

You bounced backwards in your chair, smoothing your hair and fiddling with your fingers out of embarrassment. “Oh…God, I’m sorry. I didn’t-Joe I’m sorry I-I shouldn’t have…”

“No…it’s okay” he said softly, stroking a finger across your jawline. He smiled kindly.

“Believe me…I want to. Like really want to…but we gotta work together. I don’t want it to get awkward or weird you know? Or jeopardise the important work we’re doing together” he sighed. 

You nodded. Typical Joe, of course he was looking out for the best interests of the case. That’s just the kind of man he was. 

You nodded, managing a small smile. “You’re right…of course you’re right”.

“Look…” he said soothingly. “I like you a lot. Okay? And I think it’s possible we could have something here. But maybe we could see where we are once Project Cotton is over? Then we can really have space and time to explore what this might be”.

You smiled again. “That sounds perfect”.

“As soon as this is done…I’ll take out for a crazy big meal and a bottle of wine. Sound good? Really wine and dine you” he grinned. 

“It’s a date” you giggled. 

He squeezed your hand then got up and resumed his normal spot at the whiteboard. You smiled at his back as he stood and looked at the wall of evidence, scratching his chin thoughtfully. He was a good agent and a good man. He had integrity. He wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of the case, because that’s just who he is. 

You fiddled with the letter opener, glancing out of the glass wall of the conference room onto the office floor. Nick walked by with Mace and the two of you made eye contact. You shot him a tiny smile as an attempt to be friendly but he turned away and continued walking, laughing at something Mace had said. 

It was probably for the best, but you couldn’t help the small gnawing of sadness you tried your best to forget. 

*

Later that evening you were getting ready for bed after a long call with Annie. She’d listened sympathetically to your near miss with Joe and what he’d said, and had agreed it sounded like a sensible idea to see how things naturally developed once you’d finished the project. It had been helpful to go through it all with her - but you didn’t mention the lingering feelings about Nick. It would actually be real if you said it all out loud.

Before you got into your pyjamas you took a quick look at your work phone. Sometimes you had a glance at emails at night just to see what awaited you in the morning so there were no nasty surprises, but didn’t reply to or work on any of them.

You frowned as you noticed one of the messages you’d sent to Walsh with the draft of your preliminary report hadn’t sent…and he had emailed asking where it was! Fuck! That deadline was today. You felt nauseous, this wasn’t like you. Normally you would’ve immediately clocked that the report hadn’t gone through. The stuff with Joe must’ve distracted you. You frantically tried to re-send it but the attachment hadn’t pulled through properly.

Walsh hadn’t followed up since that first email so maybe it wasn’t urgent, but you’d promised him he’d have it today - and you always delivered - that’s what you told him when he put you on this assignment. You couldn’t let him down. You scowled, glancing at the time - nearly 10pm…

You thought for a moment and made a split decision - grabbing your coat and heading out to your car. The report was on a USB drive that was sitting on your desk. You could visualise its location perfectly next to your coffee mug. You would drive over to the office, download the file, send it to Walsh with a grovelling apology and then come home - if you left now you could be back in bed in 30 minutes. Easy peasy. 

Sure, you could get up extra early tomorrow and head in before 9am - but you knew yourself well enough to know you’d be unable to sleep tonight worrying about it. Besides, maybe Walsh would be impressed by the dedication to fix your mistake.

So off you went, getting to the office parking lot in record time - amazing how much easier it is with no traffic. You parked up and headed in, swiping your security pass at the door. 

“Hey Ms Girly! What are you doing here?” Grant asked as you went past the front desk.

“You getting a head start on the morning?” He joked.

You grinned. “I forgot to do something for the boss - I’ll be in and out in 10 minutes tops”.

He laughed, shaking his head. “You work too hard…but hey, it’s your life. My shift ends in a few minutes but Ernie’s coming to take over…promise me you’ll ask him to walk you to your car when you’re done, okay?”

You nodded back at him, “I promise” you smiled. 

“Seems everyone is working late at the moment…” he sighed as he put his jacket on, getting ready to hand over to Ernie.

You wondered what he meant by that but wanted to get back home so just let yourself into your floor with your pass. Some of the lights were on which surprised you, but maybe another agent had carelessly forgotten to switch them off or the cleaning staff had just been around.

You switched on your laptop. The USB was exactly where you left it. You plugged it in, downloading the report and fired it off in your reply to Walsh - apologising profusely for the oversight. The whole thing took less than five minutes. Phew. No crazy panic tomorrow morning at least. 

You smiled with satisfaction as you closed your laptop and got up to leave. Just as you moved to go, the letter opener caught your eye, perched on the edge of your desk. The shining silver glinted under the dull lighting. You smirked. Pesky Joe. Well, your turn.

You took a detour via Joe’s desk on your way out, dropping the delicate dagger on his notebook as you passed. Just as you were leaving…something caught your eye. 

A file next to his keyboard. 

You frowned. Joe wouldn’t normally be so careless as to leave out confidential material like this. How unlike him. 

You picked it up, figuring you could slot it into the cabinet before you left. You flicked it open to see the details and figure out where it should be filed. 

Your blood ran cold.

On the first page there was a large photograph of yourself. 

You weren’t looking at the camera. It was a candid, taken from across the office. You could see Palmer’s desk in the background. In the image, your face was twisted in thought as you looked off dreamily into the distance.

Underneath you found a detailed list of facts about yourself. Your name. Date of birth. Height. Weight. Hair colour. Eye colour. Birthplace. There was a copy of your drivers license included too. 

“What is this?” You whispered with horror as your stomach flipped. 

This wasn’t a CIA staff file. This was…home made. 

You continued to flick through the file, unable to stop despite the mounting sense of fear. There were details of your family, friends (or lack thereof). Photos of your apartment. Photos of you taken without your knowledge - one of you walking down the street, another of you letting yourself into your apartment. 

You turned each page faster and faster, hoping to make sense of the horror movie you’d just walked into. Finally you got to the final page, your heart in your mouth as your trembling hands held the paper up to read and tried to make sense of the various sentences. 

“SALE AGREED”

“DELIVERY TBA”

“BITCOIN PAYMENT CONFIRMATION”

You squeaked quietly, unable to stop the tears that blurred your vision.

And at the very bottom of the page…

….was Joe’s signature.

You didn’t think. You didn’t react. You couldn’t. You just clutched the file and began to run to the exit, your other hand shaking as you pulled your phone from your pocket to find Walsh’s number. For a split second you thought about calling Nick, but of course you’d deleted and blocked his number all those weeks ago. 

Just as you got to the door, your eyes distracted as you focused on your phone screen, you collided with something. 

No…someone. 

You bounced off the figure and hit the floor, ass first. Your phone shot out of your hand and skidded under a nearby desk. 

You looked up, only able to utter a single gasp as you looked into his eyes.

“Hey sweetheart” said Joe, a terrifying smirk spreading across his face. “Working hard, are we?”

Chapter 7a -Underestimate

[schizononagesimus]

the homeless diaries, 8th January, night (it's 1pm) #kabillion:

okay, back to updating you guys on this. i got "home" (read: pet sitting for friends from traveling to see my family back in late December and i've just been so tired i haven't gotten around to writing this again. pretty much i got to see my family, fell asleep a lot of the time in strange places, and ate a lot of food so i never felt hungry while i was there. i've noticed some habits like that coming up even since i've gotten back home, like, i sleep best on the couch now and i'm so terrified of even feeling hungry and anytime there's free food i take full advantage, so that's to say homelessness has rubbed off on me in some strange ways.

i got some money for the holidays so i was able to get myself some nice food, go to a movie with my partner on new year's and stuff like that :) when i first got back in town i just totally crashed and slept a lot for a week, but after the fatigue wore off (sorta... i've been sleeping like shit) i noticed ive gotten my ZEST back!! i've been making new recipes and watching a lot of movies, it's been nice. i'm still too tired to talk to people though lol this'll take a while i guess

now that i have a job (i start next monday!) i'm a little less anxious (a lot) but i've still gotta manage to make like $25 last three weeks, i've done worse before but i have to buy my own food now where i'm staying so that's umm. an issue. mostly i just need to go buy my lactaid milk but why is it $6 lol ANYWAY. i've been doing apartment viewings to move in next month and i've been getting lucky so far, cross your fingers!! though i still wont have a place to stay past the 15th of this month but ill be able to pet sit for another friend on the 21st i think? so ill just need a place to stay for like, a week after this.

wheee update over love u guys byee<33

OH EDIT UPDATE someone reminded me of too good to go and i got a ton of good shit (breads and pastries) from whole foods valued at $26 for six bucks. Hehehe

[nerdlvr]

heyy aggy, just wanna start off by saying how i am so sorry for the hate you’ve been receiving. you honestly don’t deserve it like you’re litch my fav writer and i love your smau’s. idk how u do it but its like you put some sort of magic in your work to make it so funny yet entertaining.

anyway idek if this is where you’re supposed to send things like this (this is my first time writing on tumblr so idk how it works). anywho, i was thinking of writing my own fiction, (still unsure whether i want it written or smau or a mix of both) but tbh, idek how to set up a public profile and if i just post my first chapter immediately or do like an intro as my first post or smth 😭😭. so if possible, is it alright if you can give me some tips on like writing, posting and using tumblr and all that stuff.

also another issue i have is like time management 😅😅. like tbh i sorta roughly planned a fic based on jaehyuns songs dandelion & roses when they first got released. ive written a rough plan for fun and now idk i js feel like actually making it come to life despite it not rly being that original and possibly rly boring 😭. but let’s say i do make it happen, my school just loves giving me tests and projects during the same week and day !! so like idk if im gonna be dedicated enough yk

i js realised i yapped a lot and my writings all over the place so i am really really really sorry and i understand if you don’t get to this soon 😭😭🙏🏻🙏🏻

hi! thank you cutie 😭

well the first step is always choosing a cute layout for your tumblr page, just make it your own whether it's your bias, favorite color, or something you like. your profile layout is the image of you basically.

when it comes to posts it depends on what you'r trying to plan. i started with a post like this to kinda make a base for my profile (i am obsessed with links) that post can direct people to different parts of your page and it's a way of letting readers know who you are and what you do!

when it comes to the actual writing: for smau's i typically make a masterlist post like this to kinda give a preview of what the smau is about, it's kinda like a teaser. also don't forget to add tags to ur post that way you can reach your target audience and make sure the certain fandoms reach your work! when it comes to writing fics or blurbs you can only pretty much rely on the tags, so you just have to rawdog it and post the fic 😭.

i feel like one of the issues i have when i post is "will someone actually want to read this?" and tbh you just gotta go for it 😭 there will always be works with similar themes or concepts and that's okay as long as you're not taking someone else's work! something like the enemies to lovers is a trope that is literally everywhere, it's just about making it your own! don't be scared to post just go for it and as you make more posts you'll get used to it and everything will just flow. sometimes there will be interactions and sometimes there won't be, and that's okay! it's about being proud of your work and continuing to grow as you go!

time management is also an issue for me and the most i can tell you is to understand that coming on here and writing should be something enjoyable for you not a chore, so when you have downtime you can come and make a post, you don't need to post consistently, sometimes a writer doesn't have all the time in the world and you should make it clear to your readers that you are busy and will post only when you have time! as long as you know you'll come back and continue your chapters or updating then it doesn't matter if you're gone for 2 weeks, those who grow to love you will stay and wait!

[letstrywritingmaybe]

Now that it’s September and no longer CoAi week, I finally get to reblog all the things I wanted to that didn’t necessarily relate to the ship. Also means I gotta start on the September prompts! I’m not entirely sure where I want to go… I had sorta an idea but now I’m like maybe we should do this instead… but more importantly! I was pretty productive during CoAi week, I think I finally finished triple threat and the first three chapters of the midnights album fic (don’t get too excited these are hella short, so it’s not a super big accomplishment. I’m just glad it’s getting worked on)

Update 2: I’m going back to sleep after this cause it’s way too early for me but… I have titled the September prompts! But now I’m kinda like damn maybe I should switch the roles… there’s also one prompt that I’m still trying to figure out, but I’m thinking of indulging myself in a callback (which I love!) Anyways I still say Superposition is a CoAi song, but there are other Young The Giant songs I love that fit them too <3

Addition, okay I know my bias is obviously for him swooning over her. But I do also think it’s cute when she’s falling too. That being said I know my ratio is way off for my fics. I definitely write about him pinning way more than my queen. I just adore ships where the guy is more in love, like I don’t care about the cool guy who treats love like a secret, no thank you. I want the love to be expressed, like even if you wanted it to be a secret you can’t hide it. Showing in your actions, speech patterns and every day life. It’s why I always say everyone ships my ship, cause you’d be blind if you didn’t see the love they share

[loverofcats14]

My Embarrassment is Yours to Share Mc x Lucifer

The Anti Lucifer League thought of a prank that went south real fast.

"Argh Lucifer needs to shut it with all the RAD meetings it's getting to the point it's inferring with my naps!" Belphegor groaned as he was sleeping on the lunch table. "I swear Lucifer is just a lap dog for Diavolo. It makes me sick one of the most powerful beings is doting to Diavolo-" Satan stated as he ate an apple while reading.

"Mhm we should get back at him!" Belphegor shot up,having one of the most sinister ideas as he smiled. "I think it's time to bring one of the big guns Satan."

"Again why did you bring me into this-?" You sighed as you walked home with Belphegor and Satan. "As a member of the Anti Lucifer League you HAVE to!" Satan laughed holding your books. These two always brought you into their petty pranks. You just hope Lucifer wont be too pissed so you wont hang from a wall."Okay Mc here's the plan!" Belphie and Satan said smiling at you.

As you saw Lucifer leaving for his meeting with Diavolo you ran up to him. Lucifer looked over confused in why you're talking to him so hastly. "I need to go into your study room to get a book for my history test." you lied through your teeth as Lucifer raised an eyebrow. "You can wait Mc I need to assist Diavolo with a predicament." "Please Oh Great Lucifer I'll get straight "A"s if i pass~" you said in a high pitched voice. "Fine Mc just don't go around snooping or you will be punished." Lucifer sighed as he walked out.

You texted in the group chat updating the scheme at hand

Satan- Really that was easy Mr Oh Great Lucifer psh

Belphegor- Mc go and do it now he'll probably put the spell back on the room in a hour ish.

You- Fine fine

As you raced into Lucifer's study you steadied yourself knowing Lucifer uplifted the spell of no trespassing would go off in a hour or so. You found his coat and placed a small sized condom in the pocket. As you took a picture in your DDD sending the picture to the group chat as insurance. To be fair the prank was sorta funny. You laughed to yourself as you grabbed your DDD and walked out  Lucifer's study and hoped for the best.

"And Lucifer we should also attend to-"

Ding,ding,ding...

Diavolo realized he got a notification from you as he picked his DDD up. "Lucifer Mc is texting give me a second." Oh? Why would you text Diavolo-? Lucifer thought as all of a sudden he saw Diavolo snicker. "Diavolo what's the matter-? Lucifer asked trying to get a better view by moving his head. "Oh um- it's nothing! Haha-" Diavolo covered his mouth in amusement.

You sended Diavlo a picture of the condom looking as if you took it out from his coat. With a caption saying "This is probably why Lucifer has a big fat ego to make it up in size." You snickered As Diavolo was trying to hold his laughter as you dialed him.

"Ah Lucifer Mc is calling let me have a moment haha-" Diavlo pressed his DDD to his ear as you called. Lucifer thought this was strange but payed no attention just thinking you sent him a funny post from Devilgram. "Diavolo do you have the picture-?" " Ah yes Mc, haha it's rather amusing I never knew." Diavolo laughed into the phone.

"Diavolo can you put Mc on speaker they asked me for a book I just want to know if they found it considering their tallness." Lucifer chimed getting passive aggressive as he saw Diavolo laugh.

"Ah yes sure Lucifer-" Diavolo put the DDD on speaker without you knowing-

"Thats probably why Lucifer has such a big fat ego Diavolo! To make up for his small skinny dick! Haha!" Diavolo and Barbatos were in shock realizing what you just said out aloud. But Lucifer realized what just had happened and even if he didn't see the picture, his pride was shattered. Considering Diavolo was laughing at this comment beforehand.

"What was that Mc? I have a what now?" You immediately realized Diavolo must've put you on speaker. "WELL DIAVOLO GOTTA GO HAHA-" you hanged up and immediately ran to find Satan and Belphegor.

"Mc you'll be alright! It's just a harmless prank!" Satan tried to comfort you as he locked his room. "Mc I'll give you 300 grimm if you survive his punishment." Belphegor said as he hugged you thinking you wont be able to walk in a long time. The DDD dinged as all three of you looked at the notification.

Mc in my room now. Don't make me search for you.

"Rip our member Mc may they die peacefully." Satan and Belphegor chanted as you shot them a dirty look.

As you walked to your demise you knocked the door to the study room. "Come in." His voice very deep and melancholy. You opened the door to find him working on his stack of papers. He didn't even look up at you as his tight gripped his pen. "Sit on the chair." You immediately sat in hoping he didn't realized you were shaking so hard.

"Now Mc, it's obvious you weren't the one to put this ahem prank into action, so who directed this idea. Was it Satan or Belphegor?" He asked standing up with a smile looking at you shaking in your chair. "Belphegor! He was tired of the RAD meetings so he wanted to embarrass you in front of Diavolo! I'm sorry Lucifer! Please forgive me!"

You  sighed as Lucifer walked up to you  his form overbearing your head. "Ah, poor Mc you were influenced by my brothers, so much so they made you decieve my trust hm? This poor sheep influenced by demons disobeying her shepherd. I forgive you Mc. You were made to disobey me sadly but I forgive you." He smiled as he saw you in confusion gripping the arm chair for life.

You were thankful he wasn't punishing you however, you were still skeptical on his intentions. As his hooded eyes showed just half his eyes. His smile widdened as he rambled on his speech.

Using his gloved pointer finger under your chin propping you head to meet Lucifer's. "However sheep must learn from their mistakes so you will learn my sheep."

Its been 3 hours since Lucifer called you to his study. Satan and Belphegor were figuring out what to do to make it up.

"If Lucifer wasn't a kill joy Mc could've been here right now with us hanging out." Belphegor sighed with his pillow. "No Belphegor, it's just Lucifer's stupid ass nature I swear one day he will pay for what he's doing to Mc." Satan vowed as he paced his room.

Until they heard a knock on Satan's door both members opened it in anticipation. Seeing you there they felt relief. "Oh Mc we thought you were gone! Thankfully you're in once piece!" Satan said looking at you up and down. Belphegor knew something was wrong though and his intuition was right as you took out your DDD.

"Mc, show your neck to those two." Lucifer sadisticly hummed as you pulled down your RAD shirts collar. The two members were confused on what was happening until they saw it. The hickeys all over your neck. "Mc what did he-" Satan was interrupted.

"Now open your mouth Mc." You opened your mouth as Lucifer's cum was still in there spewed all over your mouth. "Oh grosss-!" Belphegor and Satan almost gagged. "Now the message."

"Lucifers dick is so big and wide I sucked it so hard I'll want more." You shamefully told them as you closed your mouth with their shocked faces. "Now my dear brothers remember that next time you pull something." Lucifer cackled as he hanged up leaving the Anti Lucifer League in the embarrassment Lucifer felt.

[pastelwitchling]

The scene I wish had been in 4x04.

***

Michael scrolled through his phone, the heat beating on the nape of his neck and down his shirt as he kept his head bent over the screen. Once or twice he thought he saw a typing bubble come up, but he blinked and it was gone, and he knew he’d just imagined it.

He updated and updated, but no matter how hard he stared or willed a text to come in, Alex just seemed too busy to respond.

“C’mon, Manes,” he murmured, his piece of the alien necklace all but vibrating in his pocket, desperate to be with its other half. Much like Michael felt ready to crawl out of his skin without Alex there to steady him.

He’d thought he could handle it, he’d thought Alex would be back before he knew it, but it had been two weeks, and Michael was close to losing his mind. He had just gotten back from seeing Bonnie and Clyde, and after hours of having forgotten to check his phone, he’d hoped that he’d open it to see a message from his boyfriend. But no. Just like it had been since Alex had left, he hadn’t sent back a single word.

Then again, this was Alex, wasn’t it? The sooner he finished the sooner he got to come back, and Alex wanted to be back with Michael as much as Michael wanted to be back with him. He was just focusing. He was an ex-Air Force captain, after all, and he liked to do things perfectly, and Michael loved him all the more for it. He just wished he would answer a call now and then.

“Hey!” Michael heard right before a fist bumped his head.

“Ow!” he stood, glaring at Walt. “Damn it, old man, stop hitting me, will ya?”

“Then maybe you can take two minutes to do your damn job!” Walt demanded, and looked down at Michael’s phone, having just realized he had it out. “Replaced it already?” he scoffed. “Boy, you sure must be eager to talk to your man, huh?”

Michael felt a heat in his cheeks for reasons other than the afternoon sun. “I just didn’t want him to worry.”

He hummed. “He doesn’t look like the one worrying to me.”

Michael clenched his jaw, shaking his head as he looked back down at the screen. “I know Alex is fine.”

“That why you’ve been holding onto that thing like it’s the ring of power?” At Michael’s raised brows, Walt scowled. “Yeah, jackass, I read. You might want to try it once in a while.”

“Great,” Michael smiled tightly. “We done?”

“Look,” Walt’s voice softened, “I get it, kid, you miss him, but this worrying isn’t gonna help.”

“I’m not worried,” Michael argued. “I just know Alex, okay?”

“And you miss him,” he retorted. “Is that so hard for you to admit?”

“Fine!” he snapped. “I miss him, okay? I miss him like hell, I can barely freakin’ sleep when he’s not there, and I hate that he won’t answer my calls. I miss him, and . . .” he huffed, “I know I shouldn’t worry, but I am. Happy?”

He slumped down on the steps to the airstream, deflated, as Walt chuckled, his arms crossed. “That you finally found someone you love this much? Sorta.” He leaned against the trailer next to him, one ankle hooked over the other. “If you’re worried, why not just go to Deep Sky and ask his boss? I’m sure they’ve gotta be keepin’ in touch.”

Michael smirked humorlessly, and his next words sounded feral to his own ears. “If Alex isn’t talking to me, he’s definitely not talking to anybody else.” He stood, shaking his head. “Forget it, I’m just – I’m overreacting. Alex is fine.”

“You sure about that?”

“He has to be,” Michael demanded, his voice more a growl. “Because if he’s not . . . if someone put a finger on him, there’s nowhere they can run. Believe me,” he turned quiet, “the world doesn’t want to see what happens if someone tries to take Alex away from me.”

Walt’s expression was unreadable, but Michael had already turned away, his fingers trembling on his phone. But not with fear. It was anger – rage at the very thought of someone hurting Alex to get to him.

Whatever he’d told Walt, Michael had spent enough time away from Alex, and now the thought of him getting kidnapped had latched onto his brain. Reaching into his pocket, Michael pulled the glass necklace out and hung it around his neck, needing its faint pulsing to steady himself. He got into his truck, hoping that the necklace would help Alex somehow feel him wherever he was, and left the junkyard to Walt’s knowing eyes.

Even as he drove to Deep Sky, Michael knew that his concern was irrational. Alex getting kidnapped as soon as he’d left Roswell, as soon as he’d left Michael’s side . . . what were the odds?

[mocosa-media]

my AC1 rant

Okay but Malik had a son duh, Tazim. Yes, but imagine Tazim going to Masyaf as a mid-teen (like 16 or 17 whatever) right? Right, so he’s recruited easily because he’s a scrappy kid who knows how to fight dirty (note: dirty, not as an assassin yet) and the order’s standards have fallen since Altair left. Not much is done. I personally think of a frat house, lot’s of pretty buff looking dudes but only a small handful actually have brains while the rest just want to party. 

Anyway, Tazim who gains friendships and finds out about his father’s death the hard way. Through this all, Tazim keeps his background a secret. No one knows he is Malik’s son. He first came to Masyaf to find answers. He found them. Dead dad. Possibly revenge? No, he has lost any energy to do that because Abbas’ power seems ridiculously big. Tazim mourns for his father alone while still training in secret with his new friends.

Tazim gets cocky years later because he’s a pretty darn good fighter now. He still trains in secret but it’s sorta like an afterschool club. After his job at the stables, he goes to hangout at their hidden training grounds, etc. etc. He betrays his friends, but when he gains them back they give him a major ass kicking he absolutely deserved. 

They get their hidden blades. 

The gang have their own “bureau” which is just an abandoned home on the edged of the city where they hangout; It’s their clubhouse where they plan and drink and gossip. They are like 17-20 year olds come on. 

Abbas searches for another piece of Eden. Tazim and his gang join in on this race. Bad stuff happens. Death. Depression. Reminiscent to AC1 opening scene/mission. In turn, Tazim is sad (maybe hurt in a similar fashion as his father; history repeats itself) and it seems that the only reason he was staying in the brotherhood has died.

Tazim says, “Fuck the loyalists. Fuck Altair and fuck Abbas.” He hates everything and everyone so his ‘traitor’ begins to show. So much so that he’s sent to Abbas and when Abbas is like “Are you a traitor as so and so claims?” Tazim is like, “Fuck you, maybe. I miss my home.” (Home as in the OG old Masyaf of when Altair was there. 

Tazim is stripped of his title and sent back home. No- like he’s sent back to Jerusalem where he grew up. Inspiring things happen and he hears the rumors of Altair returning. He’s like “Not these bullshit rumors again.” 

But guess what? Not a rumor. 

He goes back! 

He is like “Yeah I gotta finish the shit I started and help an old man out.” so he does! When he goes back, his old crew is extremely happy and they give him all updated info. He’s like omg me too I have updated info, my dad is badass Malik and I have Altair behind me now too.

Yes, they all freak (in a good way)

They take over Masyaf again. All is well. Sorta. Okay thanks.

[neptunebeetle]

Fuckin love how when my brain focuses on something and the thing updates i absolutely zoom through it to later be like .....wait what was like half the dialogue even—

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 303: And What, Pray Tell, Is a “One For All”

Previously on BnHA: The Todorokis (really just Enji) looked at their children and went “how can we screw up all four of them in uniquely different ways” and proceeded to do just that. Touya was all “just because practicing how to set myself on fire better hasn’t worked to win my dad’s affections YET doesn’t mean it will NEVER work”, because child logic. Turns out setting oneself on fire real hard isn’t so effective at winning affections, but is actually incredibly effective when it comes to burning oneself to death, so there’s that. Back in the present day, the Todorokis basked in their various misplaced (again, except for Enji) feelings of guilt, and were all “anyway but get over yourself already Enji, you still have to do something to stop this kid”, and Shouto was all “I’ll help too”, and Enji was all “(╥_╥)”, and Hawks and Jeanist were all “[surreptitiously listening in from outside the door]”, and that’s basically where we left off.

Today on BnHA: Hawks and Jeanist are all “mind if we join you on this family journey?” and proceed to stroll in uninvited with their puns and their perceptive insights. Hawks is all “so to sum everything up, we’re fucked, but at least you have us here to help you out! by the way, no clue why I’m the first person to ask this in three hundred chapters, but wtf is One For All.” We then cut to Deku, who’s still all “[(－－)]z”, and All Might, who is all “I’m just going to ignore the extremely loud racket going on right outside this room.” Which, btw, is happening on account of Bakugou, who is all “(╬◣Д◢)” as Satou, Tsuyu, and Mineta cart him away. Anyway so that’s a lot of antics, and also it looks like Hawks has gotten tired of the Todorokis refusing to put the pieces together on their own about OFA and so he is fast-tracking that shit. And meanwhile Deku is chatting it up with the Vestiges exactly like we all thought. And now we have to wait another whole week for updates on all of this. This really is not fair.

omfg lol

“our bad, we were kind of accidentally listening in on purpose.” like I said last week guys, no fuss. it’s a tradition

OMG

I am absolutely fucking floored. Hawks literally said that so casually that it’s impossible for me to rewrite it so as to be even more casual. that’s literally what I would write in the “today on bnha” section. in fact I probably will write that

(ETA: just for laughs I tried it and it really worked.)

a couple more things to point out about this panel: 

“TOP 3” omg yes. more like “top only” at this point, honestly. interested to see how that goes

Hawks’s phone is freaking the fuck out about something, calm down there

I know this is a standard Jeanist hair-fixing gesture that he does all the time, but I can’t help but form hypotheses about this being a stress reaction because Hawks’s hair is making him internally freak out. Hawks, if this man tries to get you alone with him and some hairspray and a comb, please for the love of god do not listen to him. get out of there and call the authorities

omg Shouto’s face

okay confession, I wasn’t really sold on the whole “Shouto has a schoolboy crush on Hawks” thing until exactly now, when I became 100% sold on it. that is adorable

and heck with it, gotta show Enji and Rei’s reactions here as well because lol

“omg my son who’s not my son, and he just overheard everything about me being a terrible shitty father and person overall, oh and plus my actual-son set him on fire and called him out on a national broadcast. I’m just gonna stare at him baffledly.” versus Rei, who is all “hmm, who are these people”

so Hawks is all “I got released from the hospital after one day for some reason so I made Jeanist drive me around places while we talked about life” but uh, heyyyyy, what’s Rei doing

okay, uh

SO FUCKING FORMAL OMFG. “SORRY MY KID TRIED TO BURN YOU TO DEATH, APPARENTLY HE DOES THAT” REI NO IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT

HAWKS IS ALL “I’M JUST GONNA LAUGH SINCE THAT’S MY DEFAULT RESPONSE TO BEING PROFOUNDLY UNCOMFORTABLE”

let me tell you a secret Hawks, it’s my default response too. ahahahahahahaha oh thank god Jeanist is helping her up -- AND MAKING A JEANS PUN, OF COURSE. IT’S BEEN ALMOST THIRTY SECONDS. MY MAN WAS DYING

“WTF IS ILLEGAL DENIM” he’s talking ‘bout them counterfeit jeans, Rei. Antoine Bugleboy knows

THANK YOU JEANIST!! OUT HERE ASKING THE RELEVANT QUESTIONS

damn straight. we’re not gonna sit around waiting another 300 chapters for this information on this man’s watch

now Hawks is telling Endeavor he used to watch videos of him all the time, and calling him his “childhood obsession” I can’t

OH MY SWEET STARS AND MOONS

1000% CANON. “SO CLOSE...” ARE YOU SERIOUS. YOU REALLY PUT THAT THOUGHT BUBBLE THERE AND EVERYTHING. “GOOD MORNING EVERYONE, SO JUST IN CASE YOU WEREN’T ALREADY AWARE, TODOROKI SHOUTO IS NOT ACTUALLY STRAIGHT.” HORIKOSHI KOUHEI I AM LITERALLY DUMBFOUNDED. THIS IS AMAZING

and meanwhile that look on Hawks’s face while he casually-but-not-really-casually-at-all asks this question. that phone app better be using his actual voice. I’m not sure I could take this scene in the anime at this point if it was like Alexa talking or something

that look in his eyes is basically saying that so far, based on the information he has absorbed up until this point, Hawks is prepared to view his former childhood obsession as a flawed but changed man. however I get the distinct feeling that depending on Endeavor’s answer now, he would be willing to drastically shift some of his opinions on him

(ETA: this is maybe my favorite panel in the entire chapter. the fact that his question isn’t addressed to anyone in particular, but his eyes are zeroing on on Endeavor. and the way his leaning-on-Shouto pose manages to be simultaneously nonchalant and yet ever-so-slightly protective. there’s so much going on in this one question and gesture and I’m mildly obsessed with it.)

however, Rei is all “that was me” and ONCE AGAIN WITH THE FACES IN THIS CHAPTER holy shit

Hawks definitely did not see that one coming sob. it’s so fun watching him frantically recalculate his ideas about this family every two seconds

DAMN IT HORIKOSHI I UNDERSTOOD THE PARALLELS ALREADY, YOU REALLY DIDN’T HAVE TO DO THIS

yes, Hawks, you get it. it’s not exactly the same, but it’s close enough. though unlike your shitty parents, Rei and Enji are at least trying

OKAY I SERIOUSLY CANNOT WITH ALL OF THIS

fljkdlaskfjlwkjl okay we’re doing the bullet-points breakdown here

first of all, the fact that poor little Shouto’s heart is still thumping away at this proximity and all he can think is “CLOSE” all intelligently as he stares at him with that face omg

and meanwhile Horikoshi has these STRATEGIC BANDAGES WRAPPED AROUND HIS CHEEKS TO HIDE ALL OF HIS SHOUJO BLUSHING omfg. SENPAI NOTICED YOU SWEETIE!!!

HAWKS YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY ZERO OBLIGATION TO WASTE ANOTHER SECOND OF YOUR LIFE WORRYING ABOUT THESE TWO ASSHOLES WHO NEVER SPARED YOU THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF REGARD OR CONCERN IN THEIR ENTIRE LIVES. THE NICEST THING YOUR MOM EVER DID FOR YOU WAS BUY YOU A $2 ENDEAVOR PLUSH FROM THE DISCOUNT BIN TO KEEP YOU QUIET, AND YOU WERE SO AWED BY THAT ONE ACT OF SORTA KINDA APPROXIMATE KINDNESS THAT YOU SHAPED YOUR ENTIRE WORLDVIEW AROUND IT. PLEASE LET ME PICK YOU UP IN A BIG HUG FOR JUST A SEC, YOU DESERVE THE WORLD AND YOU WERE ONE THOUSAND PERCENT JUSTIFIED IN LEAVING THEM IN THE DUST THE SECOND THAT YOU COULD

but all that said, he immediately recognizes that Shouto would also have had cause to do the same in his situation, and yet hasn’t. and so he has that much more admiration for him all of a sudden, which is just super sweet, and fully appropriate. Shouto does deserve props. I’m choosing to take this as an “it takes a lot of strength to be able to forgive, and people who choose to do that even though they’re not obligated to are really amazing" type of thing, as opposed to “people who don’t forgive other people who severely wronged them are bad.” and if I’m wrong and Hawks’s line here is meant to be seen as actual failing on his part, well then fuck that, but we’ll move on

SO NOW, DOWN TO BUSINESS!

I am so, so curious as to what kind of strategy Hawks has for this (if he even has any), so I’ll just be quiet now and read

so Hawks is summing up basically what we already knew -- that Tomura and his inner circle (curious that there’s no mention of AFO, because if Hawks doesn’t know about him, that implies almost no one does) are still on the lam with a few PLF stragglers and some High Ends; that a bunch of prisons have been “liberated” (I assume this means all of the inmates escaped, so if that’s the case then where’s Kurogiri??); that the HPSC is fucked; and that heroes are resigning all over the place, and so civilians are taking matters into their own hands

OH DAMN!?

does this mean we’ll actually see some international heroes?? I will LOSE MY DAMN SHIT omg

(ETA: apparently people who paid more attention to the first BnHA movie than I did recognized the silhouettes as belonging to some background characters from Two Heroes. so maybe they were just cameos and they’re not actually new characters who are soon to join us lol. oh well.)

anyway so Hawks agrees with the other Todorokis that Endeavor has no choice but to fight

awww

DON’T WORRY ENJI THEY’VE GOT YOUR BACK. WITH YOUR FLAMES, AND JEANIST’S PUNS, AND HAWKS’S BOYISHLY GOOD LOOKS, THE THREE OF YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MINDS TO

so Enji is very pertinently asking why they’re standing by him in spite of the... [gestures vaguely to everything]

oh my lordy lord

Shouto you had better do something to combat this soon, or this man will sneak past you on my favorite character ranking after all. his face. his cheeky lil finger gun. the fact that he sums it up so fucking simply. “if someone is trying to do the right thing, I want to support them.” exactly. exactly

(ETA: and one last thing I love but forgot to mention, which is the fact that Hawks calls it a team-up despite the fact that he is clearly in charge.)

meanwhile Jeanist is all “as for me, at this point I just straight up don’t give a fuck”

I can’t handle how fucking cool this chapter is you guys

so Hawks is all “you good?” at Enji. and Enji...

if anyone needs me, I will be building myself a discourse-proof fort made entirely out of problematic characters. I don’t even care. I will go on living my life very happily in here

lol at Natsu being all “BUT DON’T THINK THIS MAKES US FRIENDS”

I’m living for this weird and no-doubt entirely unintended implication that Natsu and them all are gonna join in the fight with the rest of them. I mean, they do presumably all have very powerful ice quirks. and Natsu has medical training on top of that, and Fuyu is skilled at getting eight-year-olds to behave which could be a useful talent for dealing with Tomura hahaha I kid, but I’M JUST SAYING. who needs hero licenses anyway

OH SHIT FINALLY SOME DISCUSSION OF AN ACTUAL STRATEGY. even if it’s just a PR strategy

WHAKLHL

and now for some reason we’re flashing back to Natsu and Fuyu’s attempts to navigate through the media crowd outside the hospital

well I guess this is why I’m not the mangaka. if I were writing this I would have done something trite and predictable like using that “One for All” line as an excuse to cut to Deku!! as opposed to this entirely unrelated scene!!

seriously though why do we need to see this lol

no one in this crowd has ever heard of Alexander Dumas huh. or even the popular 2007 Disney Channel original movie, High School Musical 2

so now there’s an entire page of Hawks saying they need to know what One for All is, and Endeavor having one of those patented Todoroki WHOOSH realizations lmao look at this

just wait until this man figures out that one of the scrappy new interns he took on three months ago was actually the main character all along

SKDFIOHWIERLKSJGLWLK!!

NOW IS PROBABLY A GOOD TIME TO ASK MYSELF WHY I CHOSE THIS CHARACTER WHO KEEPS DISAPPEARING FOR SIX OR TWELVE OR FORTY CHAPTERS AT A TIME TO BE MY FUCKING FAVORITE. WELCOME BACK SON PLEASE DON’T SCREAM YOURSELF TO DEATH YOU STILL HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR TORSO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(ETA: can we just take a moment to appreciate how Bakugou even got so close to Deku’s room in the first place though. in this giant hospital with no idea of where to even go. does he have Deku Radar or something.)

YOU SIX ARE OFFICIALLY ON MY HIT LIST!! SPARE ME YOUR GOOD INTENTIONS!! MY BAKUDEKU REUNION KEEPS GETTING POSTPONED WEEK AFTER WEEK!! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE HEROES WHERE IS YOUR CONCEPT OF MERCY

(ETA: btw just to be clear, I’m not actually angry lol; it makes total sense that they don’t want this rampaging feral toddler who was still in his own coma all of fifteen minutes ago to come and start screaming at the other coma child until he tears all his stitches out. if there’s anything we Bakugou fans should be familiar with by now, it’s being patient.)

also, Tsuyu wrapping her tongue around Bakugou’s still-healing torso wound absolutely can’t be hygienic at all. also wait is that Inko??

(ETA: pretty sure it is her. she got all of one line smdh.)

Iida is all “thank god Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight pulled through, I thought for sure he was a goner back there”

for the record this is actually really sweet to see how relieved he is. he’s one of the few people who saw the original injury close up, back when he was still at the battlefield and unconscious, so I imagine it really did freak him out quite a bit

JIROUUUUUU

“sometimes I just like to stand here and tug on my imaginary suspenders, what of it”

how come you guys get to loiter around Deku’s room but Kacchan doesn’t. god fucking dammit. AND WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN

I BET KACCHAN COULD WAKE HIM UP FROM HIS COMA WITH THE POWER OF RIVAL INTENSITY!! BUT NOOOOOOOO, [is dragged away back to my fort]

OH MY GOD!?!

"this seems to be an entirely normal and above-board situation that we have just stumbled onto”

I see Jeanist comes from the Iida Tenya school of respectfully using people’s full names

Jeanist becoming one of the main characters is the best thing to ever happen to this series

EXCUSE YOU, IIDA

BUT I’M SURE HE’D MAKE AN EXCEPTION FOR KACCHAN THOUGH!! [elbowing my way back out of the fort] HAWKS, PLEASE --

DON’T GO ALL OMINIOUSLY PUTTING THE PIECES TOGETHER ALL ON YOUR OWN GODDAMMIT

“there’s absolutely no way this angry wriggling shoulder burrito kid here could answer literally all of my questions, so I’ll just ignore him”

OH MY GOD WE’RE FINALLY CUTTING BACK TO HIM BUT THE CHAPTER IS ENDING

[jumps up, throws a folding chair at Iida and the rest of the gang, and then runs]

oh my god. actually this chapter was awesome. but I’m so fucking mad at this cliffhanger though lol

at least we got a couple of answers! and some hints and teases! poor Deku looks so worn out even though he’s asleep dlwkjl my little green baby. and is it just me or is his quirk activated?? All Might’s all “I can feel it” as if it isn’t obvious just looking at him, why are you trying to be all mysterious dude

anyway! so at least we finally have confirmation and a date for those vestige antics at long last. looking forward to meeting Mister The Fourth next week so we can finally ask him “hey dude, what the fuck”

[nho-jungle]

this is my addition to the hermitcraft propaganda. this is focused at dsmp fans bc i am one. 

hermitcraft is a long running smp that started in 2012. it runs in seasons, with each season lasting around a year, often just over. they are currently on season 8, and started fairly recently. 

the players on hermitcraft tend to change each season, but i have compiled a list of who i think you might enjoy, based off of your favourite dsmp member!

(feel free to add ur own suggestions too!)

IF YOU LIKE... TOMMYINNIT- 

MumboJumbo: have you got ADHD? do you love how tommyinnit says Things and other people get confused? well then MumboJumbo is the hermit for you! he's absolutely absurd. a spoon. he's also over 6ft tall and built like a brick shit house. insane. this man is an enigma. he's also a cinematographer. who even is this guy. (he also does cool redstone builds and always sounds surprised when they work even tho he's been doing this since 2012.)

BdoubleO100: a rabid chihuahua in the body of a human. truly follows that feral energy that makes up tommyinnit. mans built an entire mountain last season and he's doing it again! crazy! he's also the king of sleep. night is a rare phenomenon on hermitcraft, since bdubs starts clicking his bed at the barest hint of sunset. gotta shweep!

Grian: the stereotypical pick. he's the prankster man, everyone seems to think he's pretty childish and he often has the younger brother role even though he's not the youngest on the server. has started/been majorly involved in two wars. had an alter ego called poultry man who would fly around dropping eggs and spawning chickens everywhere.

RANBOO-

Rendog: lore man lore man!!!! he has a bunch of fun and interesting characters and he puts a lot of thought into his episodes, from his builds to his mc skin, to make sure everything comes together perfectly. I don't watch his hermitcraft stuff but I've seen him via other hermit's povs and he rlly does pick a role and throw himself into it. it's amazing.

PHILZA-

EthosLab: do you like anime kinnies? do you like old gods of minecraft? well let me introduce you to ethoslab! i want to study him in a lab. he causes problems on purposes. he builds super random redstone things. he messes with noteblocks. he was head of shennanigans. his minecraft skin is kakashi hatake from naruto. there was a block named after him in the 2013 april fools update (the EthoSlab). who is this man. i think he also has the longest running minecraft lets play. what the heck.

Grian: bird man. good at flying. chaotic bitch. idk some of the vibes are there.

SAPNAP-

Tangotek: crazy redstone man. builds crazy minigames. idk there aren't actually many similarities here other than they're both often associated with fire in fanworks despite not actually having that much to do with it.

FUNDY-

EthosLab: aforementioned anime kinnie. crazy redstone. idk. Zedaph: in season 7 he built a cave of contraptions which contained these amazing redstone machines that found the most complicated and convoluted ways to perform regular tasks, just for the hell of it. what a guy! Iskall85: they're friends :3. that is all. (actually they both just have very similar Vibes. I have no other way to describe it. it's just Vibes).

SCHLATT-

Cubfan135: (specifically season 6). evil capitalist man (/lh). ran a big corporation with scar. they made profit from a war. idk i dont watch cub, thats all i could think of. GoodTimesWithScar: evil capitalist man with cub in season 6. in season 7 he got voted mayor and then started charging the shops to allow them to be accessed from the road. there was also a big "war" over mycelium. fun times. he's actually a very genuine and sweet guy. also his cat jellie is in the game bc he won a competition or smthin. idk man he loves his cat so much. you know what builds belong to scar bc there's just jelies everywhere.

TECHNOBLADE-

FalseSymmetry: okay listen the mcc teams are being announced as I'm typing this so my brain started thinkin mcc and basically they're both well known for being good at pvp. i dont watch false but i know she has a tumblr so i'd trust her with a knife.

Grian: thinkin mcc again. they teamed for mcc pride. you can go watch that if u want to get grians Vibes while still having a dsmp member present for some familiarity. idk.

NIHACHU-

GeminiTay: a lot of ppl say they like niki's streams bc of the comforting vibes and general chill atmosphere, and I think gem matches that pretty well. cy once said she sounds like fluttershy and tbh i sorta agree. shes an awesome builder and insanely smart and even though she's new this season im already incredibly attatched to her.

TUBBO-

Zedaph: aforementioned cave of contraptions rlly fits tubbo's vibe. i think he's going the mad scientist route this season too. Docm77: another mad scientist. already early on he made this super weird lighting farm thing? i dont even know but i've seen the clip and its MAD. even if you dont watch hermitcraft you should check out that individual clip.

FOOLISH-

literally any of them bc i genuinely belive wholeheartedly that foolish would fit perfectly on hermitcraft if he could manage not to swear. (altho maybe cub bc last season he build a giant pyramid.)

[petals42]

been so long and now...

Alright, not writing the fic but this is the fic I want to read for julie and the phantoms (okay updated note: I wrote it basically). Going to try to keep this quick (LOL it’s 7k). We’re starting after season 1 here.

[7k, Reggie-centric, Julie POV, child abuse mention, Ray is a good dad.]

Alright, the boys can now touch Julie (sometimes) and can still be seen when playing music, but other than that, it’s not super clear how much actually changes. And after that day in the garage, life seems to even out a bit. Which means Alex is off looking for Willie and Luke and Julie are spending a lot more time writing music together (and okay, maybe that’s new but if both of them ignore it, it's fine) and Reggie is back to hanging out with Ray. 

Ray can’t hear him or see him and the conversations are by necessity very one sided. Either Reggie filling Ray in on his day slash his ideas on ghosthood or Ray talking to himself/the computer but somehow it becomes fairly commonplace for Julie to walk downstairs and find her dad talking to (around?) her dead teenage bandmate. And there are times, sure, where she is like is this weird?? Should i say something about this??? But Reggie is kind of being left on his own a lot and she never really wanted to listen to her dad mutter about cameras and if that’s how Reggie wants to fill his days then… well that’s not her business. Neither party seems to mind. Probably because her dad doesn’t actually know.

Of course, the Julie-magic power does eventually start working more and more and then Carlos knows they are ghosts and then her dad hears them talking in Julie’s room when Luke accidentally starts humming and then catches a glimpse of them in garage when there’s no lights on so he doesn’t see how the hologram is working and--

“It’s time to tell him, I think,” Julie says to the boys and Luke nods and looks excited and Alex twists his hands around his drumsticks the way he does when he is a little anxious (but mostly okay) and when Julie glances over at Reggie, she expects that large megawatt smile that he directs at Flynn or Carlos but instead, he looks even more uncertain than Alex.

“I dunno,” he says, one shoulder raised. “I feel like we have an okay system?”

His concerns get drowned out by Luke and Alex and Julie herself pointing out that her dad is in photography, at some point he is going to realize that this hologram technology does not obey the laws of physics and/or light, plus he keeps almost seeing them just around his house and…

They play a song to tell her dad and lately, the boys have been able to be seen longer and longer, especially when they are just in the studio and don’t officially bow so once her dad gets over the initial shock (which, admittedly, takes him a little longer than Flynn or Carlos), there are introductions and--

Julie finds herself glancing at Reggie the whole time. Waiting for him to bound forward and say that actually he knows all about Ray and actually they’ve hung out quite a bit and actually, it was him that’s been slowly doing the puzzle with Ray in the corner room and maybe the other boys do too because there are a lot more awkward pauses that she thought there would be but Luke seems to realize it halfway through so suddenly he is taking the lead (and maybe trying to impress her father like omg what???) and so it kind of gets forgotten. (especially afterwards, in her room, when her dad lowkey tries to grill her about her relationship with these boys and she doesn’t have good answers and ugggggh maybe they should’ve stayed holograms).

Anyway, things are still mostly normal after that. The boys are not often seen or visible (except more and more to Flynn and sometimes Carlos) and so Reggie is often back to hanging around her dad and one time Julie does ask him “Do you let him know that you’re here?” and “Oh no,” Reggie says. “I wouldn’t want to bother him.” And Julie guesses that’s true, Reggie is normally chilling with her dad when he is editing photos so, alright. Again, she has lots of other things going on. There isn’t much point in digging into this.

Except then-- then the boys start being seen more and more around the whole house. It starts in the studio and then sort of spreads and it’s a weird new normal for sure, them still walking through walls whenever they want so you can’t forget they’re ghosts, but you sure can see them around a lot. And if Julie is around and can make them solid, they can eat and so it become a not rare occurrence to have the boys come eat dinner 2ish times a week or at least try to (Julie’s “powers” only work about a fourth of the time, to be honest, but they can be seen so they usually hang around.)

And right around when that becomes common place, suddenly Reggie stops hanging out with Ray.

I mean, it’s not something that Julie notices right away but suddenly Reggie is around the studio a lot more and sometimes she assumes he is in the house only to find out he has been hanging by the beach or with Alex and Willie and there’s no real reason for worry but it sort of… lurks in the back of Julie’s mind. A weird sense that something isn’t quite right there, that Reggie used to love hanging around her dad and giving her dad full reports of their days and, okay, maybe it was weird but still… it bothered her. Now that it was gone. 

And then, her dad asks her about it.

Not directly, but he comes sort of frowning into her room, asking if the boys are okay, and “yeah, why?” Julie says and..

“Oh, I dunno,” her dad answers, looking over his shoulder and drumming his fingers against his thigh. “It just feels… I don’t know, the house feels empty? Like… sometimes I think there should be someone and-- you know what, nevermind. It’s probably in my head.”

“No, no,” Julie says because she’s lied to her dad enough. “You’re right. I mean, Reggie used to hang out in the house all the time.”

“Reggie,” her dad says. “The bassist. He did?”

“Yeah, he was probably… what you were sensing.” and Julie has an awful moment of wondering if her dad thought that presence around him was her mom and if Reggie being more busy with other things was like losing someone all over again and--

“That’s what that was!” her dad sounds happy. And relieved. “Sorry. Who. Who that was. I thought I was going crazy.”

“No,” Julie shakes her head. “He’s real. And he was around a lot.”

“Hm,” Ray says and turns to leave. Then turns. “You know…  he’s still welcome, you know? Unless you guys are practicing more…”

“I’ll tell him,” Julie laughs. And then shoos her dad out because she has got to work on this chemistry homework and sometimes it sucks -- having three ghost bandmates who should be in high school but who never have to do anything and don’t even try to help her and--

*^*^*^

“Hey,” Julie says, plopping down next to Reggie on the couch. It’s a few days later but this is the first time they’ve been alone-- Luke and Alex, realizing they were solid enough to go eat and running for the kitchen, Reggie opting to stay behind.

“Hi, Jules!” Reggie says and he doesn’t seem any different. With her and the band, he talks just as much as always, big bright smile, whining about the need for a country song, laughing at all their mishaps.

“I have a question.”

“What’s up?” He twists to face her, giving her all his attention. He does that, she realizes. Focuses on her. All the boys do, to some extent, but with different energies. Reggie’s is the biggest, she thinks. Honest and open.

“So… I’ve sorta noticed that you haven’t been hanging out with my dad as much anymore?” Julie tries to keep her tone casual. She’s not accusing him. She’s just… curious.

“Oh,” Reggie says and his head tilts as if confused by her confusion. “Well, yeah.”

There’s a beat. Julie thinks Reggie is going to keep talking. Reggie does not. Reggie turns back to where he was tuning his bass. “Uh, why?” she finally asks.

Reggie frowns at her. “Well, he can see and hear us now,” he says, as if this is very obvious. 

“So?”

“So like… I don’t want to bother him,” Reggie says. “He does a lot of work during the day. It was one thing when he couldn’t hear or see me but now you know… I’m annoying.”

It’s Julie’s turn to frown, even though Reggie is already looking down again. There’s something about the way he says it, I’m annoying that bothers her. He says it as if it is an obvious fact. As if everybody knows it. As if it’s true. 

“You’re not annoying,” she says. “I don’t think you’re annoying.”

He blinks at her. “Well, no, you don’t,” he allows. “And Luke and Alex don’t. Most of the time.”

“And Flynn and Carlos,” she adds.

“Most of the time. But still, see, all kids. Teens,” Reggie says. “But old people… parents are different. You have to--”

He cuts himself off and for a moment, his hand grips the neck of his bass tightly and there is a tension in his shoulders and suddenly Julie thinks she maybe is in a little too deep here. She doesn’t want to upset him. 

“You’re dad is really nice but he still… It’s different,” he says and he shoots another smile at her, but it’s tight and fake and he jumps up the moment Alex and Luke burst back into the studio.

“So close,” Alex mutters as they come back in. “I had the sandwich IN MY HANDS.”

“Dumb choice,” Luke says, mouth still clearly full of something. “You gotta just hit the snacks, my friend. Focus on what’s quick and easy.”

The boys all head for their instruments and the moment is passing, Julie knows, and she also knows she now has clues that maybe she should put together but she doesn’t have time and why couldn’t her powers last just a little longer this one time? But-

“You should still go hang out with him again,” she tells Reggie as Luke starts tuning up and Alex gets settled behind his drums. “He misses you.”

There’s no time for Reggie to ask any questions but his frown of confusion as she turns away says it all. 

*^*^*^

It grows, this curiosity and she realizes she doesn’t know much about Reggie’s parents. Luke’s, she obviously knows very well and she knows the story very well and she has heard enough about Alex’s to know that they are not worth seeking out but Reggie’s…

She’s never even heard him mention them. Not even in all their conversations about Luke’s. And this is a sensitive topic for all the boys and she doesn’t know how much to push or even whether to push so--

“What were Reggie’s parents like?” she blurts one day. Luke startles and looks up at her and that’s fair as they had been in the middle of writing a song and there was no reason for her to ask. 

“What?” Luke says and she gets to watch as he tries to switch his brain over from music-mode to conversation-mode.

“Reggie’s parents,” she repeats. “What were they like?”

And she knows she’s hit on something when Luke’s head goes down and his shoulders come up and “I dunno,” he says. “It’s… we didn’t hang out there that much.”

“But you must know something?” Julie presses. “Like… did they ever come to see you guys play?”

“No,” Luke says and he’s leaning further away, eyes cutting to the door. “Look, I--”

“Were they against him playing music?”

“Uh- I don’t… Why are you asking?”

The question forces Julie to pause. And she chews her bottom lips as she tries to figure out the answer. Why is she asking? What does she think? What does she actually need to know?

“I don’t know,” she admits. “I just… he’s never even mentioned them.”

“Well, then… we probably shouldn’t talk about it,” Luke says and that’s fair, she knows it is, but she can’t help if she doesn’t have some information. And going to Luke was at least better than just googling. 

“So there is something to talk about,” she says softly. 

“No, I don’t… look,” Luke says and takes a breath. “Reggie never…. He never said anything about them, really. Not even when we were alive. He just… I don’t know. I told you, we never hung out at his house.”

“So you think they were…?” Julie lets the sentence dangle. Luke glares at her a little. Then takes another breath. Fiddles with something on his pants. Doesn’t speak. “You know I’m just trying to help, right?” Julie asks. “I just--”

“Reggie was really quiet,” Luke interrupts. “When we met him, I mean. He was… he was really shy.”

“Reggie?” Julie asks and she can’t help the disbelieving tone. That doesn’t make any sense.

“Yeah,” Luke says. “He was a great bass player, obviously, and nice enough but… really quiet. He… didn’t even laugh really. He just hung back a lot and… it’s weird to think about. Now that I know him.”

“You think he was that way because of his parents?”

“I mean… I dunno. Maybe?” Luke shrugs. “The few times he met my parents, he was… really weird.”

“Weird?”

“Just… weird.”

Julie opens her mouth to ask more questions, to say that that answer wasn’t specific enough, but Luke finally meets her eyes and suddenly she knows that this conversation is going to end.

“Look, if you want to know more, you can probably ask him,” Luke says. “Or like… don’t. It’s not like it matters anymore now, right?”

And there’s a trace of bitterness in that and a trace of please stop and more than a trace of I am uncomfortable with this conversation and so Julie lets it go. 

“Yeah,” she says, worried she pushed too hard. “Yeah, you’re right.”

*^*^*^

The clues are all there and Julie isn’t sure what they point to, so she tries to listen to Luke’s advice and remember that it doesn’t really matter. Reggie doesn’t have to see his parents again and it doesn’t matter and he continues to seem absolutely fine with the band. Fine and happy and--

“Helloooo?” she hears him call from the front door, just as she’s hitting the top of the stairs. She turns, a bit confused because the boys never bother announcing themselves but she opens her mouth to tell him she has to finish homework before rehearsal today and then closes it when she says that he is not looking at her at all, but towards the kitchen.

She walks down a few steps. Bends over so she can peer down and see what he’s looking at. 

Her dad is sitting at the counter.

“Hello!” Reggie is louder this time, and then waves his arms a little bit for good measure and her dad doesn’t see him, she realizes, doesn’t even flinch at all the noise and the arm flailing and she is about to tell Ray that Reggie is there when suddenly, Reggie’s face bursts into a grin and, seemingly satisfied that he is undetectable, the teenager plops himself down in the stool next to Ray.

Julie watches as her dad continues muttering to himself for a minute and then he pauses, and shifts, and glances, and she doesn’t know if he caught a glimpse of Reggie or if he can just sense it but his mouth quirks into a slight smile and he talks more now, at maybe a higher volume, but still to himself and Reggie doesn’t seem to notice the change, so she leaves them to it.

Reggie is still there when she finally finishes her homework two hours later. 

*^*^*^

It doesn’t really get that much better. Reggie still avoids the house when he is visible and, when she catches him with her dad, she somehow knows that he had made sure he was undetectable before risking it and he doesn’t talk as much now, not when he’s learning from conversations with Flynn and Carlos that sometimes it’s part way through a conversation that they are suddenly audible, but she hopes it’s a little bit nice, at least, that Reggie is there at least part of the time.

*^*^*^

They play a particularly good show and the boys stay visible for 5 straight days. Reggie avoids the house the whole time.

*^*^*^

It’s a Friday night when Julie finally gets her biggest clue. It’s a rare quiet Friday. They don’t have a gig all weekend so there’s no rehearsals and Carlos is home and the boys aren’t visible or audible to anyone but Julie so most of her time is spent laughing at what they say and then having to explain to her dad and brother and she thinks they are going to try to play a game, maybe like Clue? Something all the boys can play, though Luke is pushing for twister even though the boys can literally go through people so that doesn’t seem fair at all and--

Something (a ball) whizzes past her head as she and her dad are bent over trying to remember the Clue rules and then she jumps as there’s the unmistakable sound of breaking glass. 

There’s a moment of stillness and then it makes sense. There’s a vase broken on the ground and a baseball rolling under the kitchen table and she turns to see Carlos, looking shocked, mouth already open to apologize. 

“Carlos!” her dad says, standing and moving, doubtlessly to go get the broom. But there is glass everywhere and his voice comes out angry because this is not the first kitchen object Carlos has broken by a longshot. “How many times have I told you not to play--”

Things move very fast then. 

Her dad is moving towards Carlos because that’s where the broom is and Carlos is standing still and looking down because he already knows he’s going to get in trouble and then just as suddenly, Carlos is sort of stumbling back because he’s been pulled back and Reggie is standing where Carlos just was.

Squarely between her dad and her brother. 

“It was me,” Reggie says. And he sounds sort of breathless but also certain and he’s not moving from where he stands. 

Carlos is still sort of gaping that he was just pulled back by a ghost and Julie can see the other two boys processing that fact, the fact that Reggie just managed to touch another person and Ray jerks to a stop because a full teenage boy has just popped into existence in front of him. So no one says anything.

“I threw the ball,” Reggie repeats. More firmly this time. A lie, Julie knows, because Reggie had been on the couch with Alex. Nowhere near where the ball had come from. “It was my fault.”

His voice is still firm and his eyes stay on Ray’s for a second before looking down and his hands tighten into firsts before going slack and he swallows and--

He’s scared, Julie realizes. Scared, but still.

“It was my fault. So--”

“Reggie!” Her dad exclaims and he’s beaming, she can already see it, and then without a thought to whether Reggie is still solid or not, her dad is throwing her arms around Reggie as if he is a long lost friend

(Which in a way, maybe he is)

Reggie stays solid and his arms are pinned to his side and Julie sees him stiffen, sees his face frown in confusion.

“You’re here!” Ray says, still grinning. He leans back and slaps Reggie on the arm. “And solid, I see. Thank goodness. Come, come help me on this puzzle. You’ve been slacking and I swear this dark spot near the left corner is driving me crazy and-- Oh, Carlos, go get the broom and clean this up. No throwing balls in the house! Honestly, you’d think after the last time-- Reggie, wait, whatever happened with that telenovella you guys were watching, you haven’t updated me in forever.”

And then her dad is dragging Reggie away, who still looks shell-shocked, still looks like he was expecting something different, and Julie hangs back, partly to help Carlos clean up, partly to enjoy hearing Reggie slowly start to stammer out answers to her dad’s many, many questions.

*^*^*^

“Oh shoot,” her dad says an hour later, when family puzzle night is brought to an end because the three boys have abruptly vanished from existence. He looks at where Reggie had been sitting (roughly). “Well, we’ll finish next time.”

*^*^*^

What happens next, Julie calls in her head, the Period of Cautious Testing. 

She sees it play out.

Reggie comes into the house, waves hi to her, but doesn’t say anything and then he goes and sort of… lurks near her dad, watching carefully and if her dad seems to be in a good mood (which he is often, to be honest), Reggie will either say hello or obviously pull out a stool to make it clear he is there and--

“Are you free?” Reggie asks. Or “Do you mind?” or “Hey, can I--?”

He says it when Ray can hear him and writes it if there is pen and paper nearby and even when there’s not, he stays tense and ready to fly if he’s not wanted, but--

“Of course!” her dad says. “Sit down.” “Come look.” “Oh, Reggie, check this out--”

And Reggie stares and listens and there’s this smile he has, not his usual huge grin, but a smaller softer sort of wonderful-filled smile and he pays attention to her dad as if he might be quizzed on the information later, still starts out not talking as much but--

“Okay, well tell me about,” her dad says. “Oh, do you think--?”  And “Wait, I want to hear what it was like to--”

*^*^*^

“Your dad is really nice,” Reggie tells her one day. He says it right as they are starting rehearsal and doesn’t really look at her when he says it, looks more somewhere over her left shoulder and he is basically running away towards his mic stand but still…

It makes her smile.

*^*^*^

“Come play with me,” Carlos asks her, throwing his ball in the air.

“Where’s dad?” Julie responds. This is usually her dad’s territory. Whatever talents she had in singing and music and sort of dancing do not translate into sports.

“With Reggie,” Carlos says, throwing the ball up, tilting his head up to watch as it comes down and catches it. “They are talking about… I don’t know. Something. He said he’d be out but you know how they get.”

Julie does. And it doesn’t bother her but..

“Are you mad?” She asks, just to be certain. Carlos had been the only son. Still is. But also… “That they are hanging out so much?” Her brother is still young. Her brother maybe doesn’t--

“No,” Carlos says. “Not like I want to learn about cameras at all.”

Julie laughs.That’s true. And her dad sure can ramble. 

“Also,” Carlos starts…. And then he is glancing at her and he is young and stupid and her ilttle brother, but when he looks up at her, he looks older and serious.

“Also, I think It’s nice. Reggie hanging out with Dad. I think he…”

He fiddles with his ball, but doesn’t throw it. “I think he probably needs that, you know?”

Julie did know, she just didn’t know that Carlos knew. And understood. And was willing to share Dad like that because he knew. She feels her face start heating up with pride. 

“How did you--” she starts. Then stops. She knows how she figured it out and she had mostly relied on being able to see when Reggie was around and how he tried to stay away for so long and her conversation with Luke.

“Oh. Uh. Well, he started a stash of food in my room,” Carlos says. Julie blinks at him. “I went up there one day and he was shoving granola bars in a box in the back of my closet. That was already filled with other stuff.

“He was acting really weird. I mean, nervous and I dunno. I asked him why and he said it was always a good backup in case you couldn’t go downstairs and then I asked why I wouldn’t be able to go downstairs and I think he was embarrassed but still insisted it was safer and--”

Carlos shrugs. Flushes because he realizes he had been talking a hair too fast.

“I don’t know. It made him feel better so I kept it. And it honestly is sometimes easier than going all the way downstairs.”

“Carlos!”

“He has one in your room too!’ Carlos says, laughing. “Basket tucked under your bed, I think. I’m telling you, once you get used to access to rice krispy treats in the middle of the night…”

“Oh my god,” Julie says and they are laughing about this, because what else is there to do but…

“So it’s really okay,” Carlos says. “Plus I figure now you and me can play catch?” He turns on those big brown eyes for that last part and he is so good that Julie can barely stand it.

“Oh alright,” she makes sure to roll her eyes so he knows that she is not falling for him for a second. “Let me put my bag down.”

*^*^*^

The boys are not supposed to be on her computer (there has actually been talk of getting them their own computer to uphold this rule, but none of them really seem to have much interest in technology (besides TV) given that they can always just poof to whoever they need to talk to and force Julie to do the research for them) so it’s a surprise when Julie walks into her room and finds Reggie, glaring at the screen.

“Reggie!” she says, fully intending to yell at him. She has private things on there! 

And then he looks up at her. He looks dark and serious and--

“Will you help me?” he asks. “I don’t know how-- this thing is so complicated.” And Reggie isn’t the one who will get frustrated-- that’s Alex when his anxiety gets to be too much or Luke when a song isn’t going well or even herself when having three rambunctious boys who can pop in on her literally any time gets to be a little much-- but he’s frustrated now. 

“Okay,” she says, her earlier rant about privacy flying out of her head. “Okay, yes, let me help. What do you need to do?”

With the boys, it could be anything. Alex wants to watch videos of skateboarding so he can pretend he knows something about what Willie talks about, or there was the week he discovered Sense8 and then Luke really just wants to google guitars or also there was that week Julie tried to get him on music producing software and then he just wanted to read articles about how digital music was destroying the industry (like some old grandpa).

“I’m--” Reggie stops and stands. Takes a breath and blows it out. Julie waits. He looks somewhere toward the ceiling. “I’m trying to find my parents.”

Julie stills. 

That is not what she was expecting.

“Oh,” she says and it’s a struggle but she keeps her voice carefully neutral. She also takes the moment to look down and see that Reggie has type “goo-gull” into the windows search bar. 

He doesn’t add anything and so she sets herself to opening the real google and seeing what she can do. Contrary to popular belief, it can be a little hard to find people if they aren’t famous and have fairly common names.

“What are their names?” she asks and instead of answering, Reggie just passes her a piece of paper. It has their names on it. And what she assumes to be his old address. She senses the mood and doesn’t say anything else. At least he comes and sits next to her to see the search results pop up. 

There are a lot of them.

“Don’t worry,” she says when she sees his eyes widen. “Even if I can’t do it today, I can put Flynn or-or my dad on it and I’m sure one of them can--”

“No,” Reggie says. “I don’t want-- not them.”

Julie nods and keeps scrolling. She doesn’t know what Reggie’s parents did for a living so she doesn’t know if some of these websites apply but she scrolls slowly and hopes he’ll tell her if he sees something. 

After two pages, “Let’s switch to images,” she suggests. “Maybe you’ll see them.”

Reggie hesitates but then nods. 

After some more silent scrolling, the silence gets to be too much -- “Why do you--?”

“There.”

Julie stops scrolling and, yes, there-- there’s something slightly familiar about that woman’s nose and the darkness of that man’s hair. She clicks to enlarge it, but it’s still a blurry picture, pulled onto google search from Facebook, if she had to guess and--

And she knows that you can’t really judge someone off of a photograph, especially not one that’s older and blurry but she… 

They don’t look nice, she decides. Even though both of them are smiling. The smiles look tense and forced and they are standing a hair too far away from each other to be called close.

“That’s them,” Reggie tells her needlessly.

“Oh,” Julie says again. He doesn’t sound excited. He sounds… she doesn’t know what he sounds.

She waits, risks glancing at him to find he is still just staring. And the silence drags and then right- right as she knows she’s got to say something, anything--

“I thought it was normal,” Reggie finally says softly. “They. I thought they were normal. I mean… I thought everyone’s parents were that way.”

He’s still not looking at her. Still just staring at the screen.

“I mean… Luke fought all the time with his parents and Alex’s were just… always too religious and a bit off even before they knew and so I just assumed that everyone… you know.”

Julie did not know. Not really. Not at all. 

“I knew they hated me,” he says and he finally glances over at her. He’s not crying, but his voice is tight and the nod he gives her is jerky. He looks away quickly. “For forcing them to get married. And for forcing them to stay together too, I guess, though… it wasn’t just…”

His leg is bouncing now. Jumping up and down even as his fist clenches and presses on top of it. 

“It’s not even just that though,” and his voice rises now, almost desperate. “They hated me. They said I was loud and annoying and stupid and I… I thought that was normal. I thought they were right.”

He shoots up now, solid enough that her little table gets pushed back when his shin hits against it, but he doesn’t seem to notice and he swipes at his eyes, but he’s not crying. Just red and Julie’s almost crying, she realizes, but she’s also tense and her stomach hurts and she doesn’t know what to do.

“They were my parents and they hated me and I thought-- I thought that was normal. That everyone would always hate--” He cuts off and Julie opens her mouth again but she doesn’t know what to say. The boys… the boys are young and happy and they are all an open book, even when they try not to be, but now… Now Reggie clenches his jaw and stops himself. The boys never stop themselves. 

“It wasn’t right though,” Reggie says and he’s angry now. More angry than Julie’s seen anyone. “It wasn’t fair. What they did. Making me feel… yelling at me all the time and-and sending me to bed without dinner so often that I- I fucking thought everyone snuck snacks into their room and shoving me around and even when they were happy, I just knew it could turn so quickly, that even one mistake could just ruin everything and I- I-”

He cuts off, breathing hard.

“Reggie--” Julie starts. She stands but he takes a step away from her so she stills.

“It wasn’t fair,” he says and he’s quieter now but it doesn’t feel calmer. He meets her eyes and his are wet. “I just don’t get how they could-- why they--”

“It wasn’t fair,” Julie agrees and this time when she comes closer, he doesn’t move. So she gets to put a hand on his shoulder and breaths a small sigh of relief that he is solid right now.

“I had to die, Jules,” he says, looking at her again finally. And this is… being dead is something the boys rarely acknowledge in a real way. It’s usually a joke or an offhand comment or their comeback for why they shouldn’t have to help her with calculus. It’s not this. Soft and serious and then followed by a dark chuckle. “I literally had to fucking die to figure out that they were bad parents. And I bet-- I bet they were glad.”

Julie opens her mouth to say that of course they weren’t, that any parent would be heartbroken, that he can’t know that but--

But she doesn’t know them. She doesn’t know if that is true.

“Well,” she starts but Reggie backs away and cuts her off.

“I have to go,” he announces. And then he glances at her and realizes she’s crying and maybe realizes what just happened because he runs his hand through his hair and guilt enters his eyes but “Sorry,” he says. “Sorry about-- You weren’t supposed to-- I gotta go.”

“Wait!” Julie tries, but he’s already gone. 

*^*^*^

Her first instinct is to run and get Luke and Alex, to tell them to poof to all the most likely spots for Reggie to be, to tell them everything that had happened and then maybe run and tell her dad too for good measure and to probably cry a little more but she--

She doesn’t.

She doesn’t know what stops her or why instead of yelling and rushing down the stairs, she takes a breath and falls back onto her couch, but… that’s what she does. 

She falls back and stares at the picture she’d found a little longer and--

I hate you, she thinks. You didn’t deserve him. 

And then she closes the tab without saving it. 

And she doesn’t tell anybody.

*^*^*^

Reggie is a little late to rehearsal that day, but not enough to attract much notice.

He comes in cautious though. Julie sees it, since she knows to look for it.

He poofs up outside the garage and then slowly walks in and he’s waiting, she sees, for someone to say something or act weird or for them to all stop talking at once in an obvious display of “we were just talking about your breakdown earlier.” He’s tense and cautious and--

“Dude, awesome,” Luke says in greeting, waving a hand at him. “You’re here. We can get started. I think I have a killer idea for a harmony echo thing in the chorus of--”

Reggie looks suspicious for a beat longer, eyes flicking between Julie and Luke and then Alex, but Alex is too busy trying out a new spin move with his drumsticks to really be paying much attention and Luke is still droning on about his latest idea and Julie just gives him a smile. And a nod. And hopes that her eyes convey she didn’t actually say anything. 

She knows it was the right call when the tension leaves Reggie’s shoulders.

Reggie gives her a smile and a nod and then they all do what they do best.

They play.

*^*^*^

That night, Julie spots her dad alone (actually alone) on the couch, fiddling with something on his laptop, and when they were playing music together, she didn’t think about it but now it all comes rushing back.

The hurt and the anger in his voice and the fact that she didn’t know what to say or do and it was the right call, not to tell anyone Reggie’s private business, she thinks, but she suddenly feels very sad again and the only thing for it is to plop down next to her dad and curl into his side. 

He hums in greeting and keeps his eyes on his screen and she just enjoys it. His warmth and smell and marvels in the fact that he is always there. That she can always do this. That she has a dad who will always let her sit with him and who has to be coached into being angry and just loves her so damn much. 

“Honey?” he says and he’s closing the laptop to twist and look at her. There is concern in his eyes. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she says, shaking her head and trying to ignore the heat behind her eyes that tells her she might cry. “Nothing’s wrong. I just-- It’s been a long day.”

“Too much practice?” he says.

“No, not that. Just… you know. One of those days.”

“Oh okay,” he says and then he’s lifting his arm so he can wrap it around her and squeeze her more firmly into his side. “Okay.”

They sit for a long moment, just breathing and Reggie should do this, she thinks, just sit and be calm and be held and she hopes one day, he does. That he is solid enough and comfortable enough and maybe he can’t tuck all that way into her dad’s side like she can but he should still… he should still try. One day.

She knows her dad would let him.

“Thank you,” she says. “For being such a good dad.”

Her dad’s soft laugh answers her. “Well, you know that’s my job.” 

“Yeah, but… also for everything else too. With the band and the music program and for-for being so good to Re-- the boys. All the boys.”

She doesn’t know if he hears the name she almost said, but he tilts his head as if he knows. He probably does somehow. 

“They’re great kids,” is what he says instead.

“Still,” she insists. “I know it’s a lot. But they- he- just thank you.”

He looks at her for a long moment and finally nods. 

“Anytime.”

*^*^*^

“Thanks,” Reggie says, the next day, drifting over to where she is resting on the couch while Alex and Luke get into a semi-argument, semi-productive debate on a certain rhythm. “For not saying anything to the guys.”

“No problem,” she says. “But if you want to talk more or--”

“No, no,” he says, waving a hand as if that is going to make her forget the entire thing. “It’s not a big deal. It’s--”

“Reggie.” She says it firmly. She says it and then waits until he actually looks at her. “It is a big deal. Your parents were-- They were wrong and mean and fucking horrible and if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s your right and I won’t say anything. But it is a big deal. Your feelings are a big deal. You are a big deal. So talk to me or to my dad or to no one but don’t tell me it’s not a big deal.”

Reggie blinks at her and Julie flushes. But doesn’t back down. Keeps glaring at him. 

“Uh. Okay,” Reggie says. “I- I will. Or I won’t. Tell you that.”

“Good,” Julie says, nodding once. And then Alex and Luke turn back to them and it seems they have compromised (Or maybe Alex won and Luke is just saying they compromised) and they’re back to it. 

*^*^*^

As far as Julie knows, he doesn’t talk about it. At least, not with her.

But, gradually, he stops hesitating before announcing himself to her dad and he starts buzzing with the same kind of energy that he does in the garage in the house and, then later, she goes downstairs for a late night snack and Carlos is there too, half-heartedly complaining that his stash has run out and he had grown accustomed to a certain style of living and--

“Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray Ray RayRay,” Reggie says, running into the house, tripping over his own feet somehow and skidding into the counter, knocking over the fruit bowl in the process. Her dad idly straightens it with one hand, the other reaching out to collect the apples and oranges that had rolled everywhere but Reggie grabs it and pulls. “You gotta see this, there’s a bird and the light-- bring your camera!”

“A bird?” her dad says, and he sounds a bit doubtful but he is already grabbing his camera. 

“Huge bird,” Reggie says, waving his hands as if to indicate. “Biggest bird ever. I think it’s a condor!”

“A condor! A California condor??” her dad’s eyes go huge and then he’s throwing one camera at Reggie and grabbing another out of a drawer and there are apples and oranges everywhere and her dad almost brains himself stepping on one and flying forward but Reggie catches him and suddenly, Julie is in the kitchen by herself, surrounded by fruit, staring at a pancake her dad was supposed to flip.

She rolls her eyes and smiles to herself and grabs the spatula.

She doesn’t think they’re coming back any time soon.

[lovemeleo]

Asher goes to practice

Finally, an actual update! I sorta combined the two of these, hope you guys don’t mind! Here’s Asher’s first time at the rink for practice! Hope you all enjoy :)

If you haven’t read the rest of the series, here is the Asher masterlist!

Edit: Coops and the SW world belongs to the always amazing @lumosinlove ✨

________________________________

It was an exciting day in the Black-Lupin household. Everyone had been awake for at least two hours, and it was only 6am. 

Normally, they’d be heading to the Potters’ to drop off Asher while they were at practice. Lily kept an eye on him during their time at the rink, and Harry and Asher had become quick friends.

But today. Today, Asher got to go to the rink with his dads. They had gotten permission from Coach Weasley beforehand, and he was going to watch them from the bench. He had started walking recently, not steady steps but he was definitely on the move.

“Asher, c’mere! We gotta get your jacket on.” Remus yelled from the front door, grabbing the small jacket from the hook.

A small figure peeked through the railing at him, gripping onto the bannister. Sirius had gotten him dressed, so of course he was wearing one of his little Lion jerseys that the team had gotten him.

Glancing up the stairs, Remus watched as Asher sat on the top of the steps, slow butt-scooting his way down. As he got to the bottom, he stood carefully and looked up at his dad, “No.” 

Remus sighed, holding up the jacket, “Yes.” That was another thing. Asher was starting to talk. Not full sentences, just a couple words here and there. Dad. Daddy. Okay. Please. Juice. And his favorite.

“No.” He said, even though he held out his arms for Remus. Before he could resist again, the jacket was on and zipped. 

Picking Asher up, Remus rested him on his hip with his hockey bag on the other before glancing back up the stairs, “Pads, c’mon. We’re gonna be late. Don’t tell me I’ve gotta help you get zipped up too.”

A huff came from the second floor before Sirius came around the corner, “I am coming, no I don’t need help with my zipper. I can’t find my practice jersey, I thought I left it in the closet.” He muttered as he came down the stairs, grabbing his jacket. 

“Didn’t you put it in your bag last night? So you wouldn’t forget it?” Remus asked as Sirius looked in his own bag. 

Sirius dug through his bag before pulling the jersey out, “Got it, I got it. Knew it was there, didn’t I, mon chou?” He said, leaning in to tickle Asher under his chin. Pushing his daddy’s hands away, Asher squealed, “Daddy, no!” He shouted happily, hiding his face in Remus’s neck. 

Remus couldn’t help the fond smile that spread as he watched SIrius with their son. For all the worrying Sirius had done before Asher was born, he couldn’t be a better dad. Just seeing them together made Remus’s heart swell.

“Alright let’s get moving. Coach might be okay with Asher being late, but not us.” Remus said as he led the way to the car. He got Asher buckled in his seat, and then they were off.

Sirius drove to the rink, his free hand resting on Remus’s knee, “So… you think we could get him in a pair of skates?” He asked.

Letting out a laugh, Remus shook his head, “Baby. No. He’s just starting to walk, we are not putting literal blades on his feet! Right, Ash?” He asked, glancing at Asher through the rearview mirror.

“Yes!” Asher shouted, kicking his tiny legs against the seat as they pulled into the rink. 

Sirius smiled as he got out, “I’ll grab bags if you wanna grab him and his bag.” He said as he opened the trunk. Remus grabbed Asher’s bag before pulling him out of his carrier.

Asher babbled happily in Remus’s arms, as they made their way into the rink. “You ready to see all your uncles? And your grandpa?” Remus asked and his small little face lit up. The boys had all come to visit them so often and honestly they were all so incredible with him. There was nothing cuter than a bunch of big tough hockey guys playing dolls with a child.

The little family made their way to the locker room, Asher wiggling in Remus’s arms as he heard the team’s voices echoing. Sirius pushed the door open, letting them Remus and Asher go past him into the room. 

Shouts of “Little Loops!” echoed across the locker room as the guys saw them come in. 

Asher grinned, his cheeks flushing at all the attention, “Hi.” He drawled out in his tiny voice. He was quickly stolen from Remus’s arms by James, who spun him happily.

“Hi, little man!” James said, resting him on his hip. 

Asher rested his head on James’ shoulder, “Jam.” He said with a small smile. Most words were still hard for him to say, so James became Jam. Small eyes looked around the room happily as he watched everyone get ready before his eyes fell on his favorite person.

“Le! Le Le Le!” Asher quickly reached out, making grabby hands as soon as he saw Leo. He loved all the boys on the team, but had completely latched onto Leo. The others teased him a bit, saying it was because they were so close in age.

Leo couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face as he heard the shouts for him, taking him carefully from James who gave him an indignant look, “Stealing my godson, Nutty?” 

As soon as Leo had him in his arms, Asher nuzzled into his chest happily, “Le.” He hummed happily, tiny fingers gripping onto the taller boy’s practice jersey. Leo may have said he wasn’t ready for a kid but Asher really had him catching baby fever. They definitely weren’t ready though. He’d just have to steal Asher more. Maybe they could babysit?

Nodding along as Asher babbled to him, Leo carried him over to his stall, “I know, bub. It’s all so exciting.” He murmured, setting him on his lap as he waited for the rest of the team to be ready.

Finn knew that he looked smitten. He was. How could he not when one of his boys was sitting there, being all cute with a baby? 

“Harzy, dude, you’re literally looking like the human embodiment of heart eyes right now. Take a breath.” Talker said with a laugh, clapping him on the shoulder as he walked past.

An offended noise came from Finn but he was cut off as Coach made his way into the locker room, “C’mon boys, it’s scrimmage day. Let’s get a move on. Knut, gimme my assistant coach.” 

They all made their way out the door, Sirius holding the door as the team made their way to the ice.

Remus smiled, watching as Asher was passed to Arthur, “Coach, put him down a sec, yeah? Let him show you his new party trick. Pads, be ready just in case.” 

Arthur raised an eyebrow, setting Asher down. He wobbled on unsteady legs before he saw his daddy waiting for him, and then he was off. 

“Look at him go!” Arthur said with a laugh, following Asher as he toddled out, following after Sirius and the rest of the team. Remus grinned, quickly snapping a picture of Asher grabbing his dad’s hand before tucking his phone into his bag.

When they got to the bench, Arthur lifted Asher next to him as the Lions all made their way onto the ice. Asher stood carefully next to the coach as the team picked their groups for the scrimmage. His eyes were wide as he watched the team practice. He had watched his dads play in their basement many times, but nothing beat them with a whole team. 

As the game went on, Arthur explained to Asher what was happening, pointing out plays as well as pointing out where his dads were, because that was a frequent question as well. 

Just as they skated past the bench, Nado hit Remus into the boards and they both slid onto the ice. Asher was quickly trying to peer over the side of the boards, “Daddy? Daddy, okay? You ‘kay?” He yelled, green eyes filled with concern.

Nado chuckled softly, pulling Remus up with him, “He’s alright, Little Loops.” 

Pointing a finger at him, Asher gave him a serious look, “Careful, you careful.” Sirius couldn’t help but laugh as he skated over.

“You tell him, mon chou.” He said, pressing a kiss to Asher’s head before he skated back. 

They finished their scrimmage, messing around on the ice when Sirius lifted Asher over the boards, “We’ll get you some skates soon, Ash. Just gotta convince your daddy.” 

Humming happily as he held onto his dad, Asher nodded, “I skate too.” He said seriously, watching Sirius’s feet as they glided across the ice. “Down. Daddy, down.” 

Sirius set him down but held onto his hands, wary of the other guys on the ice as Asher wobbled onto the ice. He was trying to glide across the ice, giggling to himself, “I skate.” He whispered quietly.

Unbeknownst to them, Marlene was taking pictures from the stands. She sent them all to Remus afterwards, who posted them to his Instagram along with the picture he took earlier.

“A Lion in the making.”

[chidoroki]

ahh i’m so mad for forgetting it was tpn’s 6th anniversary today.. i dunno how i can never remember that date. i don’t have anything planned though, which sucks because it’s kinda the most important day of the series ya know?? HOWEVER! i already finished my edit for emma’s birthday last week, so that’s pretty darn early for me! okay so it’s like 99% done, i gotta figure out one final touch, but yeah. and then isabella’s should be next but that’s not til september anyways. i remember very few birthdays..still upset i forgot about today though! i know i can always post something later this week but then it’s late! and that’s even if i get an idea in the first place hhmmm..

but in my defense it was an important day for me for a completely different reason though.. little Kona turned one today!!! love her. she’s too cute. she actually shares a birthday with my late great grandmother so that’s kinda sweet. (maybe now i won’f forget tpn’s anniversary either)

aside from that i feel like last week was real busy/eventful. dad had actually tested positive for covid tuesday so since we had dinner together the day before i worked from home all last week just to make sure i was okay (which i am thankfully). i don’t mind working from home, it allows me to sleep in a bit but having two screens instead of three is always a troublesome adjustment, and annoying if things get too stressful. every now and then there’s also some nights where i can’t even fall asleep and just feel incredible anxious..why i dunno. it feels random honestly.

it hasn’t been all bad though. i decided to read ahead with the paripi koumei manga and oh my god, the love i have for eiko is IMMENSE!! i honestly wasn’t expecting to get more of her backstory, but i’m so happy we did. i thought we were just gonna focus on the summer sonia concert stuff next, but it seems that is gonna be the final goal. so i’m really loving the direction the manga is going now with creating more songs and learning more of eiko’s past/family. it just makes sense. i debated in writing a whole post on it but idk yet, we’ll see. i dunno how often the manga updates, but i’ve only seen sites have up to ch49? but aahh i want her to succeed so badly! i really hope we get another season because i need to hear more of her lovely voice! THEN i forget what day i read ch113 of ft 100yq but MMHHMM that gruvia body swap! their reactions were great and i loved every moment and of course i’m looking forward to see how gray fights with juvia’s magic. i’m eagerly waiting for the day we get a trailer for the anime too.

then finally.. FINALLY the black clover manga is back! and i still think it’s hilarious that the three month hiatus started right as i finished the anime, like of course that’s just my luck! i think i caught up for just two new chapters then poof! break time! my friend has been begging me to watch since the anime started so i pushed it off for years, til something just.. clicked within me? i remember the movie trailer was announced months ago and friend was excited about it and naturally tried to convince me to start the series once more and i dunno exact words, but i’m pretty sure he compared it to fairy tail (which i sorta figured from the start anyways) but then said everyone from the squad got more focus/backstory, and i was like.. oh? so, that kinda did it for me. and damn it, i ended up loving the series. a lot. but better late than never i suppose! (and he totally has the right to say “told you so,” he deserved it. he even predicted that vanessa would end up as my favorite. so he’s right. again.) so sorry not sorry for all the spam. my queue was filled over 250+ at one point and stayed like that for weeks because i just kept adding more to it. it’s finally back around 50ish now because i FINALLY gone through the whole anime yet again (why do i queue all the gifs chronologically? i dunno!! i forget which series i started doing this with but now it feels necessary for me to do so! lowkey kinda hate it, makes it seem like i’m insane ahaaa. but now all that’s left is artwork that i can fangirl over, thank god!)

but now that the manga is back i’m debating on writing chapter reviews for it, though i doubt they’ll be as long as those i’ve done for tpn, but hhmmm. it’s just funny how i decide on doing such a thing whenever a series enters their final arcs. well, i say that but i haven’t done any for mha in.. years. probably won’t start those up though. i still read it sure but the story is meh to me sometimes. i enjoy the characters more and unfortunately those i really love don’t get much spotlight, maybe just a moment or two recently. always debating on reading ahead for no guns life too since i have no clue if the anime is gonna continue, but i definitely won’t for fire force since season3 has at least been confirmed, whenever.. same with tokyo revengers even though i’m getting real tempted with that one. and for the love of god i have to remember to read the psycho pass manga still! or however much i can find of it anyways!

what else is happening in my world right now, umm. almost a month away from splatoon3 thank god. i haven’t played my switch in a hot minute but once i got that then mmmhmm it’s over. then. scarlet & violet a couple months after too. OH! pokemon.. the masters 8 tournament has been bittersweet for me. the battles are rushed, even most take one episode, some of the moves and outcomes are just.. upsetting and strange. like i’ll never get over how dirty the writing handled the leon vs alain match. my boy deserved so much better. lance vs diantha was okay i guess and ya knew cynthia was gonna win against iris no problem. but then that battle with steven and ash.. idc what people say but there’s no way he should’ve won. after all that damage pikachu took from mega-metagross, he wins by one z-move and an iron tail of all things?? what?? (i think? i dont remember, i was annoyed). only bright side are all the cameos we’ve been getting. they only last a few seconds but they grant me SO MUCH happiness! seeing mairin, the johto trio, drew AND harley?? my heart was ecstatic! and i’m sure they’ll save all of ash’s traveling companions for his final match with leon, or at least i’m hoping so. i better see may and serena again darn it!

oh, and no joke but i swear i actually had a fucking contestshipping dream last night, which isn’t too surprising since i do indeed love them very much, but it was just randomly timed? like why now and not last month around their actual day when i rewatched all their episodes ya know?? but whatever. all it was was drew calling up may after some contest lose (in johto im assuming) to cheer her up. then some light teasing of course. that’s all i needed.

sometime during my incoherent rambling i did get an idea for an tpn anniversary edit. so i’ll definitely start on something for it tonight or tomorrow, unless i get caught up playing more pmd sky.. i started a randomizer yesterday and i’m enjoying myself. nostalgia hitting hard. but i would seriously love a new mystery dungeon.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being a younger Avenger and mentoring Kamala

Kamala Khan x reader

warnings: avengers game spoilers, guns

a/n: so excited about this one; i made y/n just a bit older (and gn!) so that they’re in their mid-early teens during a-day! hope thats okie doke! reader has electrokinesis. this accidentally got really detailed

prompt: anonymous: “Hey there! Would you mind writing HCs for the Avengers Game about female reader being a young Avenger (around 17) and mentoring Kamala Khan?”

you were just a kid yourself when you joined the avengers

and you were an inspiration to kids around the world

“does SHIELD think nothing of child labor laws?” -bruce

the avengers became your family

and seeing what you could do...they knew you could handle yourself

and then a-day happened

the day started off so perfect

and the kids went ballistic over seeing you

“y/h/n! look, it’s y/h/n!”

“can i get a picture?”

“hi, guys! of course you can!”

but there was one kid who stuck out among the rest

kamala khan

“you’re the one who wrote about the sewers, right? i freaking loved it! may i just say your art is amazing?”

“r-really?”

“oh, yeah! and the part where you had thor spin mjölnir to push water towards the sewer lizards so i could shock them? genius!”

she could not wait to tell abu about what you had just said

you obviously took a selfie with her and handed her a little pin with your own “icon” on it

but your world got turned upside down that day

the battle was one you’d never forget

and the fighting with your own teammates afterwards would haunt you for years to come

“what do you know, y/n?! you’re just a kid!” -tony

“oh yeah? im one of the only functioning members of this team!”

“everybody calm down. y/n makes a good point, but—” -nat

“thank you”

“...but there’s some stuff you should leave up to us. you really shouldn’t have to take on so much responsibility” -nat

“she’s right, y/n. this was our fault” -bruce

“are you kidding me?! i’m just as guilty as the rest of you, i’m an equal member of this team! for years we’ve dealt with this together, taken the blame together! what’s changed?”

“y/n...you saw what we did out there. that changed everything...” -bruce

you technically were an inhuman, just not terrigen-based

didnt matter to AIM, they took dr. pym for god’s sake

so you had to run, you were on your own for a while

a long while

you laid low for five years, most boring five years of your life

at least you still had your life, though. it just wasn’t what it used to be

but you got a message one day

“‘tiny dancer,’ huh? my moneys on either nat or tony. nah, tony would have chosen ‘rocket man.’”

you couldn’t be sure, maybe it was just a random shield agent...maybe hank pym? god, this was crazy

the message brought you to, uh, cap’s memorial statue

and there was a young girl arguing with a couple of boys...an inhuman!

you hopped in and saved her, she seemed scared

“hey, kid, you alright?”

“y/h/n? is it really you?”

she seemed vaguely familiar

“are you tiny dancer?”

“no, i thought you might be? they sent you here, too?”

there wasn’t much time to chat, AIM was onto you

you two unfortunately got split up for a minute, but you were practically raised by the notorious clint barton and natasha romanoff, and various other spies

yes, you planted a tracker on her

and met her at the bus stop!

“you found me?”

“that i did, kamala. see, i do remember you”

“that is so cool! i mean—not almost getting killed, or the guy with the big head...”

“what guy? you need to tell me everything”

the whole busride was a bit overwhelming. kamala explained the resistance clues, her powers, her undying admiration for the avengers, you name it

but it made you feel good to know that there were people out there that didn’t hate you

“so what was it like? being the teenage avenger?”

“uh, it was...it was really cool. i felt like i was one-of-a-kind. but sometimes people didn’t take me seriously, it was kind of aggravating”

“yeah, no one takes me seriously either...”

“you know, depending on how this all goes, i might be able to give you a few pointers”

“really?! that’d be great!”

once you got to utah...you saw the chimera

it brought back some bad memories, kamala could tell

“you okay?”

“me? yeah, im good. just thinking...okay, well, do you have a plan on how to get yourself across all of this?”

“actually, i do!”

it was kind of creepy in there, but when you laid your eyes on caps shield, you kind of broke

“do you hear something, what it that?”

“...hulk. kamala, you need to get out of here, i’ll catch up to you, i swear”

she didn’t leave in time, so she got to see the greener side of bruce. you chased him back and tried to get bruce back

meanwhile, kamala found AIM troops...oops

bruce cooled off and man was he doing rough

“y/n, is that really you?”

“yeah, its me. surprise. how long have you been the big guy?”

“too long...a few years”

“jesus, im sorry. i’ll be right back, though. some kid brought me here, i gotta go get her. you kinda scared her off”

she was passed out when you got to her

but bruce is a doctor, he’d figure it out

“i could give her a little shock to wake her up, you know?”

“oh, i know. just let her rest for a minute. she needs it”

“right...well im gonna take a look around, maybe go see what i left behind. i could power the place up, but we’re missing some parts to actually get this thing running. best i can do is lights and doors”

you turned the little things on and turns out did leave a decent amount of stuff in here

your first pair of pistols that nat gave you, the gigantic stein that thor gifted you for your 13th birthday, gadgets tony needed an “extra boost” for *bzzt*, a note from cap that just said “good luck, y/n, you’re going to do great!” you cant even remember what it was he was referring to. you just missed him

kamala walked in while you were shuffling around and cleaning the place up

“hey, dr. banner wanted me to come get you. is this your room?”

“that it is, and it’s a huge mess. this is literally all my belongings ever”

bruce had his plan and you just went along, helping kamala out as you go

“baby steps, kam, don’t want you to pass out. but don’t worry, happens to the best of us” -you

“really? you pass out too?” -kamala

“oh yeah, for sure. tell her bruce, remember that time we had thor overcharge me to literally make me an EMP? and tony was busy listening to music so he wouldn’t get out of the blast radius and his armor shut down? so he was out of commission and i had just collapsed from it all? good times”

“y/n, we thought you died” -bruce

this hc is so long omg — anyways you guys ended up finding tony and it was sort of entertaining but he kinda punched bruce and then hugged you

“you got so big”

“shut up, tony”

you kinda harbored some bad feelings since none of the avengers did anything to help you once they started rounding up inhumans (but you still missed them)

getting attacked again

“okay, kamala, remember what i said about baby steps. dont overdo it. i trust you with this!”

“thank you, y/n! uh—oh my god!”

aaaanyways you went to the ant hill to see hank and pick up some supplies, boy was it great to see some familiar faces, then back the the chimera you went to fix it all up

“can you hold that right there for me, kamala? thanks. i think that just about does it. now i have a surprise for you...your own room!”

you helped kamala get it nice and tidy while talking about each other’s lives, she really did remind you of yourself when you became an avenger. excited, scared, underestimated, all of that. and she begged you to share some mission stories, so you obviously did

“you know, if you stick around for a while, you’re gonna have some cool stories, too. maybe even a kickass costume.”

“oh! a costume, ive got that sorta covered. check it out. a burkini, muslim women wear it for swimming and stuff. my mom got it for me”

“love it. soon we’ll find you a fitting name and update the suit, but seriously, this was the perfect way to go. you look great”

“you think so? i don’t know if i feel that cool. maybe i should try something else?”

“if that’s how you feel, you don’t have to stick to it. you can experiment all you want! but i really think you did awesome on this. come on, pose with me! and hey, i like your pins.”

at this point, you’d do anything for kamala, she reminded you so much of yourself. you would have killed for a mentor your age back in the day.

natasha was in fact tiny dancer...called it

“oh, god, y/n. you’re all grown up...im sorry we left you alone. but if it makes you feel better, i always kept an eye on you”

“well, i kind of took on a protégé...she’s like your grand-protégé. kam, c’mere”

after thor finally came back, everyone started fighting again and ditched, it felt so familiar. but you couldn’t leave kamala behind, you swore to yourself that you couldn’t do that.

she was so good for this team

MODOK was defeated (by kamala herself) but there was so much left to do, tons of threats to extinguish, training to accomplish

“y/n, tony won’t turn his dad rock off! he overrode the speakers in my room”

“oh, it’s on. get chastity’s fabric dye and bleach pens. we’re gonna start some trouble”

she gave you a high five one time and nearly broke your arm

sending each other tiny hand memes

“hey, ms. m, how’re your parents? doing okay without their favorite super-daughter?”

“my abu doesn’t stop texting me actually, says my family is super proud of me. it’s a nice change of pace”

you take her on covert missions for field training, it was Educational(tm)

*elevator music playing* “so...what do you want for dinner? i was thinking we could ask thor to barbecue”

sleepovers in her room that just turn into her showing you her superhero merch, listening to music, prank lists, sneaking off to the HARM room for hand-to-hand combat training and power experiments, thinking up new costume designs

“tip: you always need backup suits, you never know what you’re gonna run into out there. one time tony pushed me into a tower of paint cans and they spilled all over me. steve yelled at him for two hours afterwards. worst mission ever, except steve said ‘motherfucker’ and i have never recovered from the emotions of that day”

“wow, i wish i could have been there for that”

“don’t worry, kami, you’ll see some crazy ‘team bonding’ along the way”

she geeks out about captain marvel sometimes

“hey, i’ve got a book carol gave to me about ‘teens taking responsibility.’ you wanna read it?”

“is it any good?”

“i don’t know, i only read the first two pages”

you ended up having a true heart-to-heart with her after one mission when she made a mistake that nearly cost you guys the mission. you told her that not every mission is going to go perfect, each avenger had slipped up in the field, and she had just started, shes not going to be perfect

“i am literally always here if you need anything. i know what it feels like to be a teenager among legends, but trust me, you’ve made it this far and you’ve proven how much of a badass you are. i know you can take anything that gets thrown at you”

kamala said she makes vegan nachos and yeah she makes vegan nachos

you guys have to hide from the rest of the team when she makes them bc they eat ALL OF THEM

gaff (the SHEILD vendor) has you test his gear, you recommend gear to kamala

you were so excited to guide kamala on her journey of heroism

taglist: @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm //