#this unironcially feels like coming out

[tunanoodlesoup]

I also proudly hesitantly present myself as a goober

finally made a sona?!?!? real!?!? no way

also the Fucked Up expeirnece i had the other morning (i drowned it)

[jangmo-othewarrior]

I have done the KOC (Kinda Orphans Crew), time for the Children of Omnicron! (Whom I also love) We have:

Mean Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer (who is on fire

Fenrir thought that naming his human self after a wolf would be ironic. However, it only makes him sound like an edgelord.

Will send shit up in flames to make himself laugh. Deena tries to repair affected lifeforms whenever possible. Also used to set shit on fire to piss Metta off.

Unironcially enjoys fucking with Ross. Ross was pissed at first but now he just tries to get Fenrir back via tomfoolery. This has turned into a prank war, but with more fire.

Most of the time, he chooses to switch to Fona at reasonable times and locations. Reason gets thrown out the window is Fenrir gets even slightly cold.

Boasts to the other CoO that he looks the most like the MC. He shut up when Nadine mentioned that that means that he looks the most like Deena. (Zetta wonders how a wolf would have 2 deer, 2 dragons, a bird, a ball?, and a fish as his children)

Battles Celine and Petram to relieve destructive tendencies that build up over time. Celine enjoys these bouts immensely, and Fenrir refuses to admit if he does or not. (He does)

Was intially standoffish to the MC after resurrection, but quickly became attached to them. Has literally walked into the Parum Guild as Fona to ask where they were.

A nerfed, pissed-off bird

Literally just thought that Nadine was a pretty name. Didn't give it much thought.

Likes to cause random windstorms to fuck with the guild specifically. Will not do it if KOC is nearby.

Is currently trying to get Nora to be more assertive and aggressive. Nora has used her 'newfound' assertiveness to ridicule Nadine on her previous decisions.

Honestly spends more time as Ventra than as Nadine. Lands and sleeps on Deena's airship to annoy her.

Mainly avoids the other CoO. Only really engages with the others to either suggest stupid shit to them or do stupid shit to them. (Except Grunda)

Has developed a respect for Lydia's hunts and her control of the greater drakes. Had a similar respect for Metta's Nexolord conquests.

Tries to be a cryptic, cool aunt but just comes off as overdramatic. The MC doesn't mind though.

A dolphin with bad volleyball skills

Merida sounded like 'mermaid', so she went with that. Zetta said she didn't look like one and she tried to drown him.

Only really uses her powers if she gets mad. Which is often. i.e. Volleyball matches.

Finn has been insistent on battling her for practice, which has annoyed her to no end. She eventually decided that beating him into the ground repeatedly would make her feel better. The same worked for when Metta was being annoying.

Very reasonable with switching between Arqua and Merida. However, she will switch 100% of the time if given the chance to fuck with the Guild. Block the harbor? Constantly sit or stand in the corner of Lobo's eye to fuck with him? Sleep on Deena's personal airship, as recommended by Ventra? Nothing is out of the question.

Talks to the other about life advice, surprisingly. Gets good advice from Grunda and Deena, gets bad advice from Fenrir and Nadine. Doesn't even try to ask Zetta for advice.

Nolan is the only person in the entire continent who is willing to play volleyball with her. This is because his volleyball skills are on the exact same level as Merida's.

Actually really likes the MC. Has tries to convince them to have a volleyball match with her, but they were always suddenly busy. It can't be helped, Merida supposes.

Purple, juiced Rayquaza

Tried to think of the most random name he could to piss off the rest of his siblings. Thus, Zetta. He also chose it to shit on Metta.

Shocks people at random times to fuck with them. Also causes power outages for fun, except in Cadium. The Guild does not appreciate this.

He thinks that Coco is the coolest thing since sliced bread, despite Coco's protests. Zetta has multiple scratches to show for this, but he doesn't mind. In fact, he says in makes him look cool.

Honestly, he only switches now to show off in front of others. He is just slightly too big to not cause a nationwide panic when he switches to Luxa. (That doesn't stop him though.)

Ya know those younger siblings who ask about every single thing they see who have no brakes or filter whatsoever? Yeah, that's Zetta. Man hasn't been above ground for like, 800 years. Shit's changed and he's curious.

Bothers Logan constantly. Logan just wants to do unethical science without this thousands-of-years old child knocking on his window at 3 in the morning.

Overprotective of the MC, of all things. Respects their power but is also like, "That's the only(?) member of the family that is younger than me! I'm not losing this opportunity to embarrass them!" Also tries to be the cool uncle.

Old Godzilla that runs an orphanage

Had a human name once, but honestly forgot it a long time ago. The others think it's hilarious when he introduces himself as Grunda to humans.

Does not really use his powers anymore. Only really uses them to remove large rocks that the orphanage kids could injure themselves on. (lord, he has gotten soft)

All of KOC come to him when they do stupid things because they know he won't as upset with them due to Grunda witnessing their history of doing stupid things. The KOC and Metta, a long time ago, are correct.

Almost never switches anymore. When he does though, it's only because the KOC or, rarely, FRN asked him to. They like to sit on his head.

Has been using the other CoO's exploits as bedtime stories at the Orphanage for a long time now, but modifed to more kid friendly versions. The first time each of CoO came in individually the kids were all ecstatic because "Mr. Grunda's brother/sister was here and they had heard so much about them!" (The other CoO never know what to do with several tiny human children all trying to talk and play with them at once.)

Leo lives with at the Orphanage now. Nobody knows how this 13 year old child managed to move across the continent without anyone knowing, but Nora theroizes that Ross had something to do with it. Leo also doesn't know that Grunda is the Grunda, somehow.

Easily has the best relationship with the MC. It happens when you raise someone from practically birth. Grunda did have practice with literally all of the others, after all.

A deer-plant-thing that can kick your ass

Deena was just a name that felt right. Only chose it after being disowned, however. Metta was never able to figure out her human form because of this.

Mainly uses her powers to restore life to lifeless places. The others think that it is a fruitless endeavor, but Deena finds joy in the small things it produces.

Surprisingly, Riley has come to her for ass kicking lessons. Deena was initially surprised until she found out Riley was using those lessons to prevent Finn from doing stupid shit. Nolan eventually joins.

Switches the most out of all of the siblings. Mainly does it to help MC get used to their Tyrant form. Also will give rides if asked politely.

The other CoO come to her to break them out of jail. At this point, they have their own private 'Primordial Tryant Time Out' jail at the Parum Guild headquarters, courtesy of the other Guildmasters.

Fucks with Xanders constantly. Has convinced the other CoO to do so as well. Nadine was especially gun-ho about it.

Has been trying to not pressure the MC with the whole 'I'm you mom' thing. The MC is very hesitant as well, but they primarily ask her about guild things and Tyrant things, just to get used to her presence.

And a ball of ribbons out for revenge, which isn't new

Never really gave himself a human name. He never felt like it was appropriate.

Uses to power to extract revenge upon his siblings and his niece/nephew. Success... varies.

Doesn't really talk to anyone anymore. He kinda misses it after being forced to talk to people nonstop as the Nexolord.

Always Metta. The first time he switched back to 'The Nexolord' was to, predictably, fuck with his niece/nephew.

Refuses to interact with the other CoO due to their involvement with Omnisun's ascension. He refuses to admit that he misses them.

Also fucks with the N1 Protagonist when applicable. Primarily through Venefelis' existence.

Fucking hates his niece/nephew.

[calehenituseappreciation]

i hc wilbur made tommy president because he planned to go and press the button while tommy spoke and kill him along with himself

wilbur wanted end all his unfinished symphonies and as the person who raised tommy- he raised him like he raised l'manberg. he doesnt care for fundy- not since he denounced him- so he wanted to end him :)

i need a fic where tommy is the one who goes to stop wilbur and wilbur fucking stabs him before pressing the button saying "it was never meant to be" tommy loses both first and last lives to that phrase

tommys last words are it was always meant to be fucking wilbur survives the explosion and has no one to kill him and now he has to live with the consqunces tommy becomes toast- short for ghost tommy i refuse to write so many letters each time- and immeditly looks for his older brothers and he finds wilbur first :) wilbur is exiled for his crimes and also out of fear- they tried to rehabilate him! they really did but then he freaked out over seeing toast... in a bad way.... and he and toast burned georges house on toast suggest (maybe we should burn something! that always helps me calm down!) this is after wilbur is trusted enough to be not... in a prison... after phil convinced them he needs help and toast tries his best ok- (WHO LEFT WILBUR WITH TOAST!) (I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME! I WAS ONLY LEAVING FOR FIVE MINUTES! AND RANBOO WAS THERE TOO!) and toast tries to go with but everyone is like "yeah no" and toast is like "whhhhyyy i just wanna stay with wilby!" and everytime anyone tries to tell tommy about the wrongs that have happened to him he screams and clutches his head in pain and everytime he comes back he doesnt remember the convo toast,,, is the most BABY toast calls everyone cutesy nicknames unironcially he calls eret rere toast, chriping happily: TECHIE!!!! tubbo: TOMMY STAY AWAY FROM HIM! toast, in a very lost and confused voice: why? techno, freaking out: tommy? toast: hi!!!!!!! im toast!!!!!! :D techno: lowkey ab to cry toast: NOOOOOOOO DUN CRI! toast: there there techie... i know what will help! tubbo, sighing: arson? toast: ARSON! phil comes just in time to find tommys dead body and l'manberg gone hes not around for the withers neither hes there just to see the crater and wilbur in chains with blood on his hands trying to off himself phil will forever blame himself for not making it in time :> dream: taking wilbur away in boat toast, floating behind the boat: o^o dream do you have any games on your phone .///^///. looks at exileinnit hmmm spins roulette wheel who should i hurt... i picked d all of the above they dont let toast go with him but because he is baby and you can't tell him what to do tubbo: sighs finally now that the exiles done toast can you- tubbo: looks up tubbo: GOADDAMN IT

toast is promptly kidnapped back to l'manberg the next day toast keeps going back tho and no one understands why- he literally killed him! why does he keep wanting to go back! (toasts unfinished buisness keeping him tied was helping wilbur and l'manberg- he loved wilbur even at his worst)

toast vibes around everyone but he stays with wilbur- where ever wilbur goes is where he builds his home

its shitty but its an 'ome Toast, teary eyed: Dad? Why does everyone hate Wilby? Why can't I be with him... Phil, with no idea what to do: niki bakes cakes with niki whenever hes in l'manberg he keeps accidently setting her bakery on fire but hes sMOL AND GIGGLES A LOT AND HE HAS FLOUR ON HE GODDAMN SELF toast is a part of mexican l'manberg i dont make the rules mexican dream: AYYYYYYYYY HOMIE toast, giggling: 'OMIE!!!!!

Toast is wholesome while everyone is literally willing to murder Wilbur while also trying to stop him from khs toast is just a very happy lovely child and cries whenever anyone is mean to 'his big brother wilby!' and so they all constantly glare daggers over toasts shoulder wherenever he cant see em meanwhile Phil is just dying inside because Tommy is a ghost by Wilbur's hands and Wilbur keeps trying to commit suicide and oh god what is he supposed to do- he simply avoids this struggle by avoiding them toast, waddling up to philza: papa do you have any games on your phone? all im saying is that tommy called phil papa before changing to dad or fathercraft phil,in the tired parent voice: tommy please sit down- just for five minutes- at least for 5 minutes toast: sits down and then proceeds to struggle to continue to sit but he must because dad told him to toast is just ADHD incarnate wilbur, trying to end himself: im gonna escape my consequences toast: HI!!!!! :D wilbur: FUCK ITS MY CONSEQUENCES toast,,,, is so baby Wilbur is just not allowed to have anything remotely sharp i like how theres so much angst and im just hyper focusing on ba yby dream uses toast the same way he uses ghostbur! :D toast doesnt realize of course even after wilbur tells him dream is bad but he keeps forgetting!!! Everyone: da baby Dream: how can I profit from this oh dream is manipulating wilbur btw wilbur: suffering toast: i made you a card toast trusts eret wholeheartedly and this hurts eret because she knows if toast remembered he probably wouldnt- they wanted redemption but not like this- not because of death Toast: you look cool Toast: you are friend now Eret: sobs I don't deserve this Toast: what did I do wrong Toast: how can I help friend!!!!! Eret: sobbing more toast looks at everyone says "ah! friend shaped!" if ur wondering wheres the angst toast is the angst- toast is just tommy without any bad memories and hes so different they thought he was happy before they thought he was fine tommy was hurt too but since he internalized it no one cared toast sees wilbur being sad and goes! i know what will help! n-not arson tho people dont like arson when you do it.... BUT ITS OKAY! I BROUGHT A FRIEND! shows friend, the sheep and wilbur just fucking sobs Toast is wholesome chaotic in a perfect mix- toast is tommy but without the 'asshole on purpose as a self defense mechanism" someone mentioned something about Tommy masking insecurities once Toast doesn't remember. and he's fine with that he doesn't have any insecurities toast hurts because in retrospect toast, meeting bad: WOAAAAAAH! YOU LOOK SO FUCKING COOL! bad: LANGUAGE! toast, cringing back, looking at the ground: ..sorry :( bad: ...you can swear toast: :D bad: once toast hasnt sworn since "hes saving it for special occasions" sometimes he accidently swears and immedtly gasps and looks at bad and bad just sighs and is like "its okay it was an accident" bad never would have thought itd take letting tommy swear for him to stop huh... its almost like... hes a child.... and the negetive reienforcement.... was doing more harm then good.... toast: exists in an amount of happiness no one has ever seen him in before everyone: pain how much pain was tommy in before? they thought tommy was happy- was... was he not happy? he's so unabashedly joyful and energetic looking back they can see how forced every laugh felt, every smile- He's not afraid to just talk to people, make new friends he became so much more cautious after Eret, had it really effected him that badly? He's open. He never lies about how he's feeling, never brushes anything away how much was Tommy hiding, how much pain, how much fear- It's chilling. bone chilling. There's no way to fix what's been lost. No way to apologize to who Tommy used to be, to try and make it better. None of them every bothered to see him as anything more than a nuisance, an annoying child or cannon fodder and they'll regret it for the rest of their lives everyone: having a mental crisis toast: GUYYYYSS!! I MADE ANOTHER FRIEND!!!

"Wilby?" Wilbur heard Tommys voice say in an innocent tone.

Was he hearing things? Tommy's dead. He killed him himself.

"Wilby why are you in prison?" The image of his little brother asked, "Did you commit arson without me?" it asked in a pout.

"TOMMY!" Tubbo yelled running into the cell where Wilbur was kept, going through the bars with ease, "Tommy get away from him!"

"But 'ubbo!!!! Wilby is 'ere!!!!" Tommy (?) said with a smile Wilbur hadn't seen since Tommy was a child.

"Tommy, I understand you don't remember anything right now but you need to come back over here!" Tubbo demanded and Tommy flinched

Wilbur was struck with the sudden realization that this isn't just his mind- no no it can't be- but Tubbo acknowledged him he has to- Wilbur reached his locked hands towards Tommy only for him to pass through him. What? No no it was just his imagination that makes sense.

"Oh sorry Wil! I'm kinda dead! I don't remember how i died... but i think im a ghostie!" Tommy said plainly, floating off the floor. Wilbur looked at him in confusion. Whats happening?

the first time toast sees the crater toast srceams in intense amount of pain- its so loud you can hear it all over the smp- and just dissapears for a few days before reappearing with no memories of what happened toast saying things tommy thought but never said- he calls eret "big brother" and eret fucking d i e s toast cals all the l'manbergians older siblings He's far too honest for anyone to handle tommy was always honest too but he learned from experince that honesty only lead to hurt Tommy was like an enderchest, you could never see beyond the exterior, everything inside was exclusive to him and him alone Toast is like when someone dies and all their fuckin items explode onto the ground. you just see everything and most of it was  pain and everyone feels bad because they thought he was the only one uneffected that nothing had ever put a damper on his happiness and energetic smile- at what point had that smile became fake? also for angst reasons the last memory toast has is before the elections toast has uwu boy vibes but more chaotic toast goes to dream smp from logstedshire purely for sam nook toast starts making his hotel since he sees nobody has a home (including dream LMAO) (and he wants to make a safe place since everyone keeps saying something about war) and wants to make one and asks sam for help since apparently hes good at building and sam lets him pay after he finishs the hotel and sam nook is there since day one because i dont think i could handle a world without sam nook toast: biting everyone tubbo: wHY DO YOU DO THAT?????? toast: once techie bit all the cupcakes and then said it was his cuz he bit it so im biting everyone to show their mine!!!!! tubbo: i- tubbo: i am both flattered and disgusted everyone, remembering how tommy used to bite everyone upon meeting and then everyone would get mad at him and yell at him until he stopped biting people on meeting: sadly whips and nae naes hes a BABY toast deserves the fucking world also i havent talked ab it but there is wilbur and fundy angst here fundy confronts wilbur also not that fundy is angry about not not not getting murdered by his father but also why does he consider tommy his unfinished sympohny and not him? he raised fundy too- maybe he just only ever loved tommy (based off his insecurity of how close wilbur and tommy are based off wilbur raising tommy and wilbur only being there for fundy by the time he was older and also using hybrid age go nyoom for this dream manipulates toast during wilburs exile along with wilbur and toast realizes both of them were being used by him and fucking screams lourder than he ever has before and dissapears for a week and then shows up at technos house (he got lost and he didnt know why he was at logsted shire- he doesnt remember the place) on the day of the excution and tries to help technoblade but keeps forgetting that everyone is trying to kill techno the butcher army is hesitant when "hey why are you all attacking big brother Techy-" "HE SPAWNED WITHERS IN L'MANBERG!" "he did?" toast asked tilting his head in confusion "YES! HE DID! AFTER YOU DIED! NOW WHERE IS HE TOAST! WE NEED TO CAPTURE HIM!" whenever tubbo talks ab how theyre planning on excuting techno or how there was no trial toast has flashbacks to tubbos excution but hes never able to hold on to the memories just leaving him feeling bad toast sees anything traumatic and just makes the blue screen noise toast has to reboot every time anything truamatic happens and when he does he doesnt remember what happens after

toast hurts on a "THE FUCKING IMPLICATIONS OF THIS" level just.. everyone trying to make up for not noticing tommys hurt and trying to be good to toast when its already too late... far too late glatt is also here because whenever ytoast dissapears after something trauamtic he bounces back to the land of the dead for the bit and sometimes he drags glatt out to the land of the living with him only works bc toast has unfinished buisness so he can freely go between and just stays in the land of the lving until he can finish his unfiinshed buisness ghostbur and toast wouldve been good friends if they ever met anyone yells at toast and he immeditly starts sobbing

basically when everything is calm and peaceful and everyone is happy together after dream is in prison and toast is like "oh... this is what ive always wanted"

"toast?" tubbo asked, confused toast smiled softly, "i think its time for me to go" "what?" wilbur asked his pitch unusually high due to the fear lacing his voice "i think... i think this was my unfinished buisness... this is the last thing i wanted when i was alive, the reason i stayed... i think its finally my time to go now" toast said smiling tearfully "no! you vcan't go! we just got you back!"

basically when everything is finally ok, when things finally calm down toast fades back to the void/afterlife thing

[vagrantblvrd]

AU where Castle buys The Old Haunt and realizes a few months down the road one of the bartenders has a side job of Solving Crimes?

“I’m sorry, what was that, Castle?”

And Castle, okay, is like.

“I was surprised too, but if you don’t believe me, just ask him.”

In which the “him” in question is the guy waiting in an interrogation room because a couple of uniforms checking out reports of gunshots found him standing over the body and also Castle got a phone call and anyway.

“Huh.”

And then shenanigans in which Kevin Ryan sort of kind of works for Castle???

(“You totally do, I sign your checks, and also there was the whole...thing about new management back when I bought the place and you call me ‘Boss’ when I walk in and - “)

He also used to be a cop until Reasons and now tends bar and the things about crime solving on the side because friends and friends of friends and also random people have heard about him, and really, you know. It’s more of a hobby.

“A hobby.”

Kevin grins, all sunshine and flowers and Esposito is slowly, so slowly, losing his shit because Kevin Ryan is sweet, polite. The kind of guy everyone likes. Beckett likes him and they just found about about him an hour ago.

(But he’s a little shit to Esposito.)

“Yeah, I mean. Some people knit, I, uh. Do this?”

Like the man doesn’t know how he got into the whole solving crime by moonlight gig.

“Well, I mean. That’s a sometimes thing. Usually I’m tending bar at night.”

>:((((((((((((((((((((((((((

And on and on and maybe, idk, there’s a whole...werewolf thing in there too because you know me and werewolves, right?

Kevin had problems adjusting after being bitten on a case – “It’s a whole story, I wouldn’t want to bore you,” but he’s got a handle on it now, and anyway.

Kevin and his life of tending bar at The Old Haunt, Solving Crimes, and the whole being a Werewolf deal, and he’s like, it is what it is, you know? (Alternatively, “Life in the big city, never a dull moment!!1!” like Kevin hasn’t lived there all his life, and also what does that even mean, and is he trying to say the werewolf thing is just something that happens in New York? Is he???)

But also the thing where he’s having the best damn time fucking with Detective Esposito and also flirting and poor Esposito just doesn’t know what the hell is going on?

And then there’s the time they have to Kiss For Great Justice – or, okay, to avoid getting caught by some baddies and anyway, such a hardship, you know?

Plus, Kevin with his werewolf strength just manhandling Esposito – totally not something Esposito would like to experience again in a different setting – and anyway.

That was a thing that happened, and no, Castle, Esposito will not go into detail so just stop taking notes.

(Kevin off to the side, though? Thinking about it.)

And then, idk, some Thinking and Kevin gets a P.I. license – makes sense to do it since he’s got all these people coming to him for help and anyway, yes.

Montgomery is like – “Not only do we have Castle helping out on cases, but now there’s a P.I.?”

And Kevin’s like “Only sometimes, though?” like that makes it better, but he’s a damn good bartender and Montgomery’s like, maybe if I drink enough I’ll forget about all of this and also it will become someone else’s problem</i> because if ever there was a reason to drink it would be Beckett and her team and anyway, shenanigans.

Castle lets Kevin turn part of The Old Haunt’s basement into space for the P.I. gig – files and such. Boring paperwork.

Sometimes he meets with clients upstairs in the bar – before the place opens up for the night or whenever, and Castle is just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ about it because what mystery writer doesn’t love a good P.I. story?

Also, also, later in the Nikki Heat series a P.I. shows up who lives to ~torment Ochoa and make his life miserable and anyway?  (Kevin’s like :DDDDDDDDDDDD about it because of course he is.)

(Plus maybe there’s some charity cause around Halloween or whatever with a short story about a werewolf P.I. - come on, Elrod’s got the vampire P.I. in prohibition-era Chicago, why shouldn’t Castle have modern day werewolf P.I.?)

ANYWAY.

Yes.

Esposito is like >:(((((((((((((( whenever Kevin’s cases and theirs line up and Beckett sticks Kevin with him – “At least yours knows proper police procedure/protocol, Esposito!” and also “Do you really want to trade, Esposito?” because they love Castle, of course they do, and yet.

Doesn’t matter though, because Shenanigans still happen.

(And, okay. Kevin’s helpful and also saves his life a time or two – “I mean, I didn’t know we were keeping score?” and there are times it’s nice to have someone to talk to, like on stakeouts and such.)

Plus, it’s always kind of hilarious watching the Big, Tough Guys zero in on Kevin as the ~weak link and then running into the brick wall of his werewolf constitution?

And also Kevin and Esposito sparring together not long after they meet and Beckett keeps sticking the two of them together and Esposito is like, yeah, yeah, sure. Guy says he was in narcotics, mentioned doing a hefty stint undercover before everything went to hell, but just look at him! Definitely got bullied in school, you know?

So sparring and Kevin all “If you insist,” and Esposito being like “Wait, no, I - “ because Kevin’s smirking and he has a bad feeling about things, and also Esposito suddenly remembers how Kevin put that guy who charged him on the ground in nothing flat, didn’t even break a sweat doing it. Which. The guy in question was easily twice Kevin’s size and -

Anyway.

The sparring matches early on where Esposito learned Kevin can handle himself and also that cold showers are a lifesaver, y’know?

Also the thing with all the flirting and whatnot and at some point Esposito is like oh, no, he’s hot, but it’s a realization quickly followed by oh no, he wears sweater vests unironcially and however will he be able to reconcile the two?

And Kevin okay, standing there watching Esposito have these dual realizations – Esposito and his Night of Epiphanies brought on by too much to drink or a concussion and Kevin shows up after being drunk/concussion-dialed and anyway.

“Well, if I thought you’d remember this in the morning I’d have a suggestion that would take care of both those problems of yours, but since you are, what say you sleep it off/get that head checked.”

And then Kevin just being :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD the next day and Esposito has no idea why, but he’s rightfully distrustful of it, and anyway.

They figure it out in the end and all that good stuff.

(P.S. Castle gets Kevin a vest to wear when they’re going into Dangerous Situations that says P.I. or something along those lines? Kevin is like *eye-roll*, but not so secretly loves the thing because it makes Esposito *eye-roll* harder, and anyway, yes.)

[therealdragonnerdagain]

For all you people bitching unironcially about whiny elf fans, read this and tell me it doesn't sound like the entire premise of Dragon Age Inquisition.

This is what makes the games racist. Dragon Age does not criticize Manifest Destiny but embraces it fully. The sentiment is basically "Indigenous people are inferiors who need to be wiped our and removed to make way for Christians, and this is good for them because they were killing each other anyway." That's the summary of Manifest Destiny. And it is why Dragon Age is a racist game. Bioware doesn't hate "the elves," They hate indigenous people.

Some of the game's small codexes acknowledge MD as wrong, but these were likely written by writers who were against the overall narrative of bigotry. David Gaider is responsible for that overall narrative and yet refuses to take responsibility, telling us not to view the elves as an allegory so he can back out of having to acknowledge that they are.

But go ahead. Mock us for complaining about this. Call us whiny elf fans. Tell us to shut up. Don't bother listening or trying to understand. Insist that David Gaider is gay so he can not be racist. Make excuses for the game because it's just a game and the media we consume can not possible affect our reality. Etcetera, etcetera.

Dragon Age fandom is the most racist, bigoted fandom I've ever had the displeasure of participating in and I regret every day that I came to tumblr years ago. I regret every day that I ever found Dragon Age Origins and started playing it.

It's hard to get this game out of my life now because I keep stumbling across the racist asshats in the fandom and then I get mad again and come back here to vent.

And people wonder why I started turning off comments on my Deviantart fan fictions.

THIS IS WHY.

I'm tired of this shitty fandom but it feels like I can't escape you people.

It's enough to make me wish I could CTRL + Z the last four years.