#this totally wasn't a vent drawing or anything

[allyheart707]

*walks into Room /w the turtles* me: I come baring gifts!!

*walks up to Donnie* “I got you noise canceling headphones and a weighted blanket! I.. I tried my best to get you a book, but they wouldn’t let me.” I kneel down and whisper “you’re doing great. I know it’s a scary situation and there a lot happening right now, but I believe in you. I’m so proud of how well you’ve been handling this change. Please remember it’s ok to be different and feel big emotions or no emotions at all. Don’t let anyone down you for who you are.”

*walks up to Leo* “I got you a wooden-play sword (for some reason that was ok for me to give you-) and a unicorn plush!” I whisper “you’re going to be just fine. Just know that you’re enough. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I’m so so SO proud of you. You’re the best fighter I’ve ever seen, you’re amazing! I adore your fighting skills. You’re not worthless. You shouldn’t have to earn people’s love. You’re deserving of all the love in the world.”

*walks up to mikey* “I got you finger paints and glitter!” I whisper “thank you for helping people. Your heart is so so big and beautiful!” *hug*

*walks up to Raph* “and last but never least, I got you a heart-shaped pillow and a friendship bracelet!” I whisper “you can do it. I love your kindness. I appreciate your want to help. You’re doing a great job bringing people and yourself together. Thank you for looking out for your brothers. Don’t worry too much big man.” *hug*

I would have drawn this all, but I’m in a motivation burn out rn :,) At least I was able to draw the gifts :D!

You are totally fine not being able to draw everything- I super get it! I also didn't end up drawing a lot for your response- but hopefully you still like it! It's more my retelling of events rather than continuing the story? Also- sorry in advance for how long it got, I was just very excited about all the adorable words you told each of them and how they would respond to it ;v;

Your ask was such a joy to read- tysm for sending it! :DD

Donnie stares at the large assortment of items in the person's hands, wondering which were for him, and for some of them.... what they even were. The human comes to him first and he tenses, confused as the stranger kneels down to his level. Odd, but Carol does it enough that he isn't completely lost.

“I got you noise canceling headphones and a weighted blanket! I.. I tried my best to get you a book, but they wouldn’t let me.” He stares at the items offered for a moment, then takes them with a small nod. He doesn't really know how to feel about them yet.

He holds the blanket that was covered in small glittering stars in his hands, the weight oddly comforting- Like when his brother hugs him, or the times he would hide under their bean bag. It was familiar. And, after inspecting the other grey object in his hand and connecting it to the words she spoke about "noise canceling", he assumes the soft cushions were meant for his ears. He slowly tested them out- pressing one against his right ear. Determining the effect wasn't painful or uncomfortable, he slid them all the way on.

The sound of Raph and Heishis whispered conversation, of Mikey's excited squealing, and of the humming of the vents was suddenly dulled.

It was.... nice.

He knew he should thank the person, he should be as excited as Mikey who was still squealing by her side.. but he didn't know the human. With the new room, his new "brothers", and everything else that had been happening.... he couldn't bring himself to force a smile or even muster a thank you, though he knew he should.

“you’re doing great. I know it’s a scary situation and there a lot happening right now, but I believe in you. I’m so proud of how well you’ve been handling this change. Please remember it’s ok to be different and feel big emotions or no emotions at all. Don’t let anyone down you for who you are.” She whispers to him.

He still didn't want to talk to the new lady, or smile at her, or thank her. But now he felt a swell of relief flood through him, because that was okay. So, he took the gifts with another nod and found his way to the corner of the room, watching with silent awe as she began to pass out the rest of the gifts.

Heishi watches tensely as the enemy first approaches Donnie, claiming that they had gifts for them. Right, like he would fall for that. This was clearly some scheme to lower their guard- but he was a warrior, not some child who could be so easily swayed.

He noted as Donnie made his way to the corner, blanket and headphones in hand. That left the strange viles, the sword (it was wooden, but with enough force maybe he could.... hmmm no, not yet. Not while still stuck in a locked room...), and a few other softer objects that he couldn't quite make out.

Then, it was with dread he realized that the enemy was approaching him next. His shoulders raised and he showed his teeth, hoping to scare her off. Thankfully, it seemed to work as she stopped a few feet away, bending down and offering the sword to him

“I got you a wooden-play sword (for some reason that was ok for me to give you-) and a unicorn plush!”

... Why would she give him a sword of any kind? UGH! Was he really that unthreatening? Was he really so bad at his one purpose that they would mock him by giving him weapons knowing they could beat him?!

... well he would show HER! He will take that silly play sword and-

“you’re going to be just fine. Just know that you’re enough. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I’m so so SO proud of you. You’re the best fighter I’ve ever seen, you’re amazing! I adore your fighting skills. You’re not worthless. You shouldn’t have to earn people’s love. You’re deserving of all the love in the world.”

... well, now it didn't really feel like she was mocking him- maybe she was just crazy.

"Yeah... well, I am the bestest warrior... I don't gotta earn anyone's love, cuz I'm... I'm just that cool. Heh." He stammers, rushing to grab the sword and the other item he hadn't really noticed before.

When he got a safe distance from the enemy, he wasn't exactly sure why he turned his back to the enemy but he just.... couldn't face her. His whole chest felt warm and oozy in a way he wasn't sure was normal.

He shook his head and focused back on the items in his hand.

The sword...

and...

Mikey was bouncing on his feet as he followed the new scientist around the new room. She was so nice- he hoped she would stay forever and ever! Maybe she could convince the scientist to let Carol come back and they could all play together? He squeaked again a the thought.

“I got you finger paints and glitter!” It took a moment for Mikey to realize she was talking to him, to absorbed in his daydreams of introducing her to Carol and George.

He claps his hands together and looks up at the sparkly tubes and jars of color that she held out for him. It felt like Christmas all over again!!

“thank you for helping people. Your heart is so so big and beautiful!”

He was hugging her before she could even finish the sentence, and he couldn't help but chirp with glee as she hugged back!

"Thank you! Ohmigosh!" He pulled away after a moment, taking the jars from her hands and spreading them out around him on the boring brown floor.

After a few moments of struggling against the lids, the vibrant colored jars were now open. He let out a mischievous giggle that turned into a cackle as he made up his mind:

These floors were not going to be boring brown any longer-

Raph stood awkwardly at the table, watching as one by one his brothers were distracted by the humans gifts. Finally, she turned to him.

“and last but never least, I got you a heart-shaped pillow and a friendship bracelet!”

His tail lightly twitched behind him, unsure if he should be excited or nervous. Pops told him that humans were dangerous to mutants like him but... this one seemed okay... maybe if he asked her nice enough she would take him home?

...no, no... he couldn't tell her where his home was. Dad said he could never, ever, EVER tell anyone where they lived.

But... then how would he get home? He frowned.

“you can do it. I love your kindness. I appreciate your want to help. You’re doing a great job bringing people and yourself together. Thank you for looking out for your brothers. Don’t worry too much big man.” She ended her small speech with a hug, which he melted into.

Yeah. I'm Raph, their big brother.

He had gotten this far, had found his brothers, had brought them together- even when pops said he that it wasn't possible!

And, now he just had to bust them all out of here!!

He smiled at his new friend, and gave her a toothy grin.

Raph was going to be the best big brother they ever had!

[junosmindpalace]

Hello!!! Can I request how would Senku, Tsukasa, Ryusui and Xeno (if you're familiar with him) (separately, slightly angst??) react to finding out their s/o has self-harm scars/is self-harming? If you're not comfortable writing that, it’s totally okay!! I just thought that because I've never seen anyone do this I'd maybe try to request it before the asks close.

Don't know if you heard this but I really like your writing!! 💕

hello there!! thank you for your request! i hope that you are safe and well, and i hope i did this request justice. feedback is absolutely welcome.

warnings: implied self harm but nothing descriptive

Senku: alternatives. Senku could handle the emotional shtick pretty well, even if it wasn't his forté, but with a matter so sensitive, he opted to go for what he did best; using his knowledge of science to help you in whatever ways he can.

Senku has always been a man of action, and so that’s the way to go for him. His care and concern is expressed through his means of trying to help you cope or recover, but you can also see it in his eyes when he catches glimpses of the scars.

He has a good eye and good intuition- besides, he cares about you enough to know what makes you tick. He tries to prevent your harmful thoughts or redirect your attention away from them before they can manifest further. This usually means making some witty comment that you can resonate with, or having Senku whisk you away to aid him in a science experiment, finding ways to keep your hands and mind busy on something fun and creative that can help you relieve stress. 

His medical knowledge comes in handy when he suggests harm minimization strategies, and he knows sometimes they can feel silly or not do enough justice, but if he can do anything at all to ease the pain in your mind and keep you away from harm, he’ll absolutely be doing it, whether its physical means of relieving yourself in slightly safer and less damaging ways, such as trying to reduce how often you harm and what means you use. He teaches you about all these other methods as well, from something more mellow to drawing on skin to something a bit reminiscent of the pain, such as physical activity. 

Whatever it may be, Senku will absolutely be using it in an attempt to help you, but makes sure not to push too hard with them, and simply suggest or show you methods and let you dictate for yourself whether they were helpful or not. Whatever it is you choose, he'll always make an active effort to help support you in whatever ways he can with his knowledge of science.

Tsukasa: listens judgment free. He understands feeling isolated, and from experience, he knows how simply hearing a person out can go a long way. He understands that the subject is difficult to talk about, and so he’ll never pressure you into opening up about details you’re uncomfortable with. He lets you take your time, always making sure to be there for you in other ways to reinforce in your mind that he’s someone you could trust. 

Whether you pour out your feelings or only reveal bits and pieces in the way you’re most comfortable, he won’t once interrupt until he’s sure you’re finished talking. All his attention is fixed on you, and he doesn’t overwhelm you with questions or his own opinions either. Telling a person to stop is much easier said than done, and so he doesn’t, instead doing his best to communicate that he’s here for you if he can do anything at all to help.

Though not too familiar with alternatives himself, he remembers soothers that helped calm his sister when she was a baby, and he offers to try them on you when the urge arises. Though maybe childish, if they could distract you even for a little while, Tsukasa was glad. And even though he’ll always gently direct you to people and resources that could be of better help, if all you need sometimes is a listening ear to vent, he’ll always be right there with absolutely no exceptions. 

Ryusui: pampers. The man is treating you like royalty. But not before he gives you some sort of inspiring or emotional speech. No matter if it comes out harsh or corny sometimes, it always leaves you feeling the slightest bit lighter.

He’s distressed by this habit of yours of course, and it’s evident in his face that he’s biting back on a comment when it’s addressed. He doesn’t mean any harm or to be overbearing, and he never is. He’s not one to pressure or guilt you, he knows better than that.

He tends to intervene sometimes however, occasionally overstepping with good intention. He’d much rather have you safe and angry at him over anything else if he does tend to overstep. In general however, he just wants to look out for you and help you cope safely. 

Cue all the pampering that comes in. Cue all the projects he immerses you in to keep you busy, hands and mind preoccupied with his endless amount of enthusiasm and constant new interests because he knows from experience that working away on something has always made him feel good. Besides, it occupies his mind for weeks. He’s always thinking of you and ways to uplift you- it’s how he’s always been with you. 

He knows he can hire the best of the best medical staff to assist in helping break this habit, but he mostly has that group of staff train him to help assist you, because he knows going to other people can be stressful and difficult and he hopes he can be someone you lean on during those vulnerable moments to carefully take care of you and your wounds. 

Say the word, and he’ll buy you the world to help lessen the pain in your heart. 

Xeno: encourages medical help. He’s a scientist and an astronaut after all. He’s undergone medical training himself, and he knows quite a bit about psychology. He uses both in an attempt to try to help ease your mind and your pain. 

The very first thing he’ll suggest is seeking medical assistance. He’s a man of science, of course, and science can help you recover. But going for help isn’t easy, especially if you don’t have the means to do it. So he always makes sure to remind you that his services are open any time you need them.

He’s treating your wounds the moment they appear, and encourages you to at least see him regarding the issue. He never gets upset if you don’t, because he knows these kind of things are sensitive and hard to deal with, but he’ll always do his best to remind you in subtle and non-invasive ways that he was a person you could trust, and that he wasn’t going to shame you or let anyone else shame you.

He’ll check up on you from time to time, but won’t press for any details or emotional chats. Like Senku, Xeno is a man mainly of action, and he has good observational skills. He also does his best to try and minimize the damage before it can grow into something dangerous.

His means of looking out for you are more traditional and upfront, but they aren't any less well-intentioned, only wanting to make sure you're safe and healthy.

[mrabubu]

what happened between you and Dork? (WS) I don’t want to pry at all, but iv just been genuinely curious and also confused as to why the art all got removed and seemingly for "hateful comments?" If you don’t feel comfortable enough answering that’s totally fine, but man some context would be super helpful.

Uuuuh, okay this part is just me venting a bit...

Yeah, I get that people would like some context,

I'm just still nervous/scared? For how people interpret words.

And I've already been told (because they blocked me so I can't see for myself) dork promised that if people start to "slander" them, they will "drop receipts", despite our dialogue being kinda personal thing, I guess. So I'm just trying not to trigger/provoke them, and just trying to distance my thoughts from all this, but at the same time it's hard considering that WS had a big inspiration/mental help/influence on me and it became kinda my routine for almost half a year to read new chapters, follow other updates and do stuff, and now I can't, not only because I'm tossed out of their blog, but also because

Well

It hurts? After all that situation.

The situation:

We had a dialogue during which expressed different opinions on a certain topic. For them it was enough to wanting to stop associating and communicate with me. So I decided if they don't want to associate with me, then, please, take down my art. At least, it's logical. If you don't want to have anything to do with a person then you'd like to clean your work space from any reminders of them. And just in case, so no one would thought I forced dork to remove drawings they payed for, I drew those for free. Just because I wanted. It wasn't about the money.

Plus with their reaction and the "hateful comments" notes (though I don't know what was hateful about asking to take down my art. I don't believe I was rude or anything), I wanted my fanart to be gone too, because I don't want them to be taken for granted and promote work of someone who wants nothing to do with me.

I'm not encouraging any more association, just leave it be. Right now I'm just trying to distract myself.

Thanks for understanding.

[savior-of-humanity]

@hymns-across-the-stars -- continued from here!

--

Atreus was no stranger to being lost in a foreign realm, with little - if any - means of getting his bearings regarding just where exactly he was. It was something he was accustomed to, really, especially given how far he had traveled and how many sights he had seen in his journeys through the Nine Realms and beyond. It usually didn't take him long to adjust to a new situation, to learn how to navigate both geography and conversations with any local peoples that lived there. But the place he found himself in now was unlike anything he had ever seen in his entire life. In every direction that the Jotunn looked and traversed, Atreus was surrounded by a sprawling labyrinth of ancient, worn metal; expertly constructed, yet weathered from wind and time. Even beneath the plant life that seemed to grow from almost every single surface of the complex, he could tell that the architecture and craftsmanship was utterly alien to him. Not to mention, given just how far the tunnels and shafts that made up its depths went, no civilization he knew of could've made such a massive complex. And yet, there was no sign of any people living here...

...well, except for the creatures that called this maze home.

Many were just as alien as the labyrinth itself, though they held similarities to other creatures Atreus had seen before; multi-colored lizards the size of dogs, roving packs of spiders, enormous armored centipedes, and too many other little things to list off. He swore he saw a glimpse of what looked like some sort of enormous bird-like creature soaring above, but given the huge towers that reached up to the heavens and obscured the sky almost totally, it disappeared just as quickly as he'd spotted it. Survival wasn't too difficult, which was largely due to the relative abundance of both safe food and drinking water; but as the sun eventually began to approach the distant horizon, he knew he'd have to find shelter for the night. There was no telling what sort of nasty critters would come out in the dark, after all - but the abrupt noise of some distant commotion snapped Atreus out of his thoughts of finding a place to hunker down. Atreus paused and listened; normally, he'd avoid it entirely as it'd usually just be a scuffle between some big lizards, but there were no snapping jaws, guttural snarls, teeth digging into skin and flesh. What he could hear insisted solely of ghastly shrieks and what he could only describe as small explosions. Logic dictated that he should ignore it and keep looking for shelter while he still had daylight - but something about it urged him to go, to look. And look he would. It'd taken him a while given how long and winding the passages of the labyrinth's underbelly were, but eventually he'd crawl out of a vent overlooking a small ledge to spot the source of the once-distant battle. There were two creatures that were of immediate interest to Atreus; one was a huge, gaunt and avian-looking creature, much like the one he had spotted a glimpse of earlier in the day. Its hostile gaze was locked upon the other individual; a small red-furred creature resembling some strange cross between a mollusk and a cat. And, based on the way they not only held their body posture but also wielded a spear, Atreus immediately guessed that the little thing was not only intelligent, but also exhausted from a previous fight. He didn't hesitate to notch an arrow into the string of his bow, draw, and then send it flying straight at the tusked face of the bird-beast. In that moment, Atreus learned two things; the first was that the skull-like face of the "bird" was not a face but rather a mask. Through a stroke of luck, the arrow had hit at just the right angle to dislodge it from the creature's true face, sending it clattering to the overgrowth below. The second was that this also happened to piss it off. Severely.

He didn't wait for its response - already he had leapt from the ledge to the ground below, landing into a roll to minimize potential injury from the impact, before he jumped back to his feet and began to run like Hel to the closest semblance of safety. Which, coincidentally, happened to be in the general direction of the red-furred spear wielder. "GO!" He had no idea if they could understand him or if they could even speak, but he hoped that at the very least, the urgency and volume of his voice would spook the creature into fleeing as well. "RUN! RUN! I HAVE ITS ATTENTION!" He knew that because he could literally hear it coming after him with those huge beating wings. All he could really do was hope that he was faster than it was.

[kylejsugarman]

I don't ask this to be voyeuristic or anything, but do you think that Jesse was SA'd in captivity? The Nazis obviously liked to torture and humiliate him purely for sadistic reasons, I don't see them drawing a line on that. And if you also believe that, how do you think it would effect him on recovery in Alaska? I can see him developing not maybe an outright fear, but certainly an unease about being around only men.

ive had this ask in my inbox for a long time now, not because i find it offensive or anything but because i genuinely dont have a good answer for it. like do i find it realistic and definitely plausible given the onscreen and implied torture and the nazis' intensely dehumanizing treatment of jesse?? of course, and i totally understand why its such a widely accepted ""headcanon"" (i genuinely dont think ive read an aftermath fic that doesnt at least allude to sexual abuse being part of jesse's time in captivity). and for the most part this potential aspect of his enslavement is treated with gravitas and respect, at least in this corner of the "fandom", but part of me always withdraws a little when it comes to talking about this possibility because of how much of a joke it became. throughout the show, jesse is treated the same way that female characters are treated by the main male characters. he is a femme fatale, he is the helen of troy, he is the other woman. and he's maligned, abused, and uniquely exploited by the male characters for these "feminine" traits. i think for some people, this reading of his character became so prominent that they automatically presumed that jesse would be sexually terrorized by the nazis in the same way that u would assume that a vulnerable young woman kidnapped by a gang of cruel, sadistic men would be brutalized. this makes sense in the context of the story, its themes, and his characters, but some of the interpretations of this "offscreen plot point" just make me squirm. there are the people who make straight-up jokes about it, particularly about todd and his weird chummy possessiveness of jesse; these range from flat-out homophobic to just weirdly romantic, and it always sucks to see tbh. and some people don't really Joke about it and do treat it with some sobriety, but they present it as a like. Necessary component of jesse's story. like it wasn't enough that jesse was physically, emotionally, and psychologically tortured, he needed to Also be sexually tortured to fully atone for his transgressions during the show and earn his "happy" ending. there's this attitude that jesse needed to experience the absolute peak of suffering and be completely dehumanized in every sense of the word to "deserve" to escape and survive, or else he didn't "learn his lesson". people usually don't State this sentiment outright, but it is deeply implied in a lot of discussion of the presumed sexual assault and it really disturbs me. why is sexual torture, particularly sodomy (which is almost always the described method of torture), the most "dehumanizing" of the abuse catalogued and why does jesse have to pass this set rubicon of suffering to earn our sympathy and a second chance??

none of this is to say that believing or speculating that jesse was sexually abused in captivity is wrong or bad or like morally dubious at all. when push comes to shove, i think he probably was, but it's just not something that i personally want to discuss at length the same way i do his emotional or physical traumas because of personal experiences. and this being my response to ur ask is also in no way me condemning it or u for sending it: i really appreciate u asking in a respectful manner and genuinely just wanting to talk about this aspect of jesse's experience as it relates to his recovery. i think since i didnt feel comfortable answering ur questions on a character analysis level, i just used this opportunity to vent some frustrations about the overall presentation and perception of this specific thing. but for real, thanks for the ask and i hope my points here come across!!

[thomotomo]

Hi! Hope you're having a good day! I'm the same anon who requested the love triangle of Faker x reader x Keria, my fixation for League and T1 came stronger than ever this time, my mind only thinks about faker, I just can't help it. TT

Maybe I'm projecting myself in this one, but like...Faker with a reader who is studying arts and like, although the reader loves what he does, he can't help but feel anxiety and sadness cuz, you know, it's very difficult to live from being an artist. I just know Faker would hug and comfort us and tell us that everything will be fine. :(

This is probably too long lmao, but I just needed to get it off my chest! Have a good day/night. <3

A/N: Heya anon! Thanks for trusting me with your request again hehe 🫶 I sooo feel you on only having Faker on your mind, I totally relate lmao- I was fast to write this one hehe (it hit veeeery close from home for me too lmao) I hope you'll enjoy it~

You didn't knew why you started feeling this way. You had always been so sure about the path you wanted to take but now the only thing you could do was worry. Maybe it was the fact that this was your last year in school and after that you'd be thrown into the wild west of adulthood and job hunting and you were scared of that?

You were deeply in love with what you were studying, even if it was hard at times with all the deadlines and such but you were really interested in your domain, it had been hard to push for your parents to allow you to study in this field. After all it wasn't the most lucrative nor recognized path, even though it had became widely accepted lately it was still hard to make a proper living out of it and talking about it during meals with your family was a risk to have a ton of judgement from them. So you couldn't vent your frustration and sadness to them whenever you met up and it was weighing heavily on your mind.

You stepped inside your apartment putting down your bag at the entrance and took off your shoes. You headed into your room and laid face down on your bed, you felt very empty and very stressed. The anxiety was slowly creeping up on you. You stood up suddenly and decided to take a look at all the drawings you had made throughout your college years, your favourite photographies looming over you and an immense dread was filling you as you looked at each of these - your- art pieces. You had always loved looking back on your growth but right now, they all looked so ugly.

And so, your mind could only criticise all of the mistakes you were seeing. You couldn't help but get the urge to destroy it, after all was it really worth it? You wouldn't be guaranteed a living right out of college, you probably wouldn't make enough to live a comfortable life unlike office workers and yet it was the path that you were headed in, you were really into it but your mind was filled with doubts, what if you couldn't find anything? You still had to pay your bills somehow so most likely you'll have to find a full time job in a shitty supermarket and then you'll just be too focused on making money to try to pursue your dream and you

You were so engrossed in your downward spiral and panic that you hadn't heard Sanghyeok coming back. He stepped into your bedroom and as he saw how much you were engrossed into your panic, he sat down next to you and gently took your hand in his.

"(Y/N)-ah? Are you okay?"

You looked at him with wide eyes, his face softened as he watched your eyes filling with tears, you sniffled and put down your sketchbook. Sanghyeok picked up and put it back on your table, and seated again next to you, the two of you had already spoken about this and your feelings towards your future work area but he had never seen you in this state before.

"I'm sorry.", you chuckled between two sniffles.

"Don't be it's okay. Do you want to speak about it?"

You didn't say anything and just shook your head negatively. Your boyfriend wrapped an arm around your shoulder, trying to give you with the best of his abilities, a hug. He gently pressed kisses on the temple of you head. He knew what you felt, the uncertainty of the future and of your career, he had felt the same multiple times throughout the years and he knew that reassurances didn't always help but he was here, and support was probably the best thing he could give to you.

"Don't worry too much right now. I'll be with you every step of the way okay?"

You nodded quietly, wrapping your arms around his waist, nuzzling into his neck, trying to calm yourself down. Sanghyeok's warmth was already making you feel better, you were already quite clingy usually but when you were in this kind of mood it was even worse. The older male was gently patting your hair as your hiccuping slowed down and you got your head out of his neck, using one of your hands to swipe away the tears. Sanghyeok looked at you with a small smile on his lips, you still looked very adorable even after crying, and well, he had brought back some of your favourite meat to cook.

"I have everything to make you donkatsu, would you feel better if I do that?"

Your eyes shined in excitement as soon as you heard the word "donkatsu". Sanghyeok chuckled and stood up, bringing you with him, the two of you headed to the kitchen and you watch as your boyfriend started to work on your food. The two of you were discussing, some quiet music playing in the background, calming your nerves, you helped him into making the sauce and the rice so the two of you could eat quicker, despite Sanghyeok's protests.

When the meal was ready you took a seat on your couch and you couldn't help but admire the food and observe your favourite man bringing back chopsticks and your preferred soda. Sanghyeok looked at you curiously, his lips being turned up in a cat-like gentle smile.

"Thank you for being here for me Hyeok..."

"Of course jagi. Here eat and ease your mind."

He took a piece of the meat and fed it to you making your cheeks flush slightly, making him grin. The two of you ate in a very comfortable silence and once you finished the meal you both cleaned up the plates and Sanghyeok laid down on couch opening his arms to you. You chuckled and laid down on him, breathing in his scent.

"I know you're worried about the future but as I said I will always be here for you. I know what you feel and just as you're supporting me, I'll support you."

Your heart swelled as you listened to him talk, and your arms tightened around him. Sanghyeok gently kissed the top of your head, soothing a bit of your anxiety away. You laid there, listening to his heartbeat, which definitely helped you calming down and made you drift away into a nice sleep.

[thattimdrakeguy]

Frankly if you asked me, all of that unnecessary misdirection and twists that left poor Tim at the ‘make him angsty and edgier’ block for later writers to force upon him was the result of the whole darker and edgier train that permeated not just the Batbooks but the whole industry throughout the decade he was in.

Basically short, in my honest opinion, Tim Drake was the perfect character at the absolutely wrong time.

The 90s edgier nonsense (as foreshadowed by the marvelous competition’s hefty promotion of Venom, Cable and other like minded antiheroes, Early Image having a foundation built on that) made possible with the Batmania (since he’s naturally the perfect candidate for darker and edgier due to both his gothic aesthetic and his insane popularity) unfortunately gave the writers of that era and the 2000s the impression that since it’s Gotham, things in universe are just miserable and sucky

And since Tim lives in Gotham, despite meant to be the counter to that misery that permeates the city he helps defend, it was only a matter of time before that wrong impression got to him too

It’s why to this day, my preferred Tim Drake is that original Fanboy we saw in A Lonely Place of Dying since in the end, that’s what he’s meant to be, beginner or not and why I am still reluctant to get anything Dixon related on both him and Nightwing since those runs are built on that train of thought that says ‘misery in setting and edgier characters means compelling and mature storytelling, especially in Gotham’

I know, long winded, I just needed to vent. You may ignore this if you wish to

Bro, I just asked #cats what a raw potato tasted like, I don't feel like ignoring much.

And, I wouldn't say Tim was in the wrong time. He has his great successes in the 90s. The main reason he's talked about past people's obsession with one story in Red Robin, that has slowly lost popularity 'cause of people realizing it wasn't the best Tim--is 'cause of the 90s.

There was plenty of people who were sick of the big overexaggerated 90s crap even if it did infest Tim a bit when they'd draw him way buffer than he was clearly meant to be.

It's all just a matter of writers with the ability to do better either not advancing to the right places in comics, or throwing their talents down the toilet to be there.

It's all about good writing. That's it, really, that's the big secret.

Why is Dick a massive joke of a character now? 'Cause the writing got bad.

Why did Batman look like a total maniac more like usual for a while? 'Cause the writing got bad.

Why is Damian totally unrecognizable a lot of the time on nearly every single level for over a decade now(Though I have heard some aspects like art have been getting better, or so I've seen thankfully, but I'm still not trusting that all the way because now this fucking fucking hell)? 'Cause the work got bad.

Why is Jason just a fan fic edgy woobie fuck a lot of the time now? 'Cause the writing got bad.

How did Steph go from edgy, determined, "vigilante vixen", who was morally kinda questionable at times go to acting like a 12-year-old sometimes? 'Cause the writing got bad.

No matter what in the end. It's all down to the writing, and also art.

There's always been good movies in every decade no matter the taste, because people with true talent and knowledge, and know-how where out there to make so happen.

Comics being a dwindling medium that's how a down-turn in quality going on for a long time? It's just not a business worth getting into anymore. Passion or not, people just aren't good writers. And that can happen in any era.

But back to the main point, Tim was at his most popular in the 90s in an era you wouldn't think he'd fit into with all the Rob Liefeld stuff. Like he got an 80-page-giant in the late 90s over some characters you think would actually get one because he was so naturally popular.

But what made him work then isn't dated. It's timeless. They just haven't had good enough writers to make him work, and it sucks, but it's how it is.

The reason Tim really got changed so much isn't down to tastes in an era. It's down to the taste of a few people in specific positions. Things that made Tim work were still working wonders in other places.

[eerna]

(Hi i’m sorry if you respond could you post this one in stead i’d prefer it to be anon)

Hey omg i i'm the one that commented about Kinney on your IG. im so sorry i literally finished the series yesterday i didn't know people hated him

i totally agree though it was kind of lazy adding him as a love interest i was just confused since he was in this scene so he wasn't in your drawing

love your art so much though i just wanted to let you know i didn't mean any hate towards it

Oh, hi! I legit didn't think you'd ever see my reaction, I often take to tumblr to vent about replies on other sites and it 10000% wasn't anything personal. Also I was having a bad night and really really needed something to yell about and the tried-and-true topic of my Kiko hatred seemed like a good target. It's ok, now I understand why you wrote the comment, the all-caps and the fact that Kinney wasn't actually present in the scene made me think it was way more accusatory than it apparently was. Sorry for reacting to it and thank you so much for checking in, hope you enjoyed the series! :D

[erabundus]

HERE WE GO  —  the  long  awaited  ren  modernverse  post  that  i  totally  haven't  been  procrastinating  on  for  ages.  (  i  have.  )  i'm  going  to  do  a  very  general  overview  of  the  AU  here,  because  there's  a  lot  of  little  interconnecting  parts  and  headcanons and backstories ( as well as development over discord )  involving  other  muses  and  i  really  don't  want  to  step  on  any  toes  or  necessitate  a  ton  of  required  reading.  just  a  brief *  summary  to  make  interacting  easier.

( * not brief, i can never keep anything short. )

ren  was  born  very  shortly  after  makoto's  death  to  a  mother  understandably  wracked  with  grief.  though  they  had  little  family  to  speak  of,  they  were  quite  well  off  financially  —  owing  to  ei's  status  as  the  ceo  of  a  prolific  power  company.  as  a  way  to  force  some  sense  of  normalcy,  to  cope  with  both the  loss  as  well  as  her  child's  eerie  resemblance  to  her  departed  twin,  ei  threw  herself  body  and  soul  into  her  work.  this  meant  the  majority  of  ren's  childhood  was  spent  completely  alone,  and  though  he  never  had  any  reason  to  want  for  much  materially,  he  was  still  quite  miserable  and  desperate  for  affection.  he  would  do  whatever  he  could  to  possibly  gain  the  ATTENTION  he  craved  —  culminating  in  taking  up  an  interest  in  dance,  of  all  things.  he  had  believed  if  he  could  only  find  one  thing  that  he  was  really  good  at,  and  hone  that  skill  until  he  was  utterly  PERFECT,  perhaps  then  his  mother  would  be  impressed  enough  to  acknowledge  him.

unfortunately,  things  didn't  go  according  to  plan.  he  was  talented  —  incredibly  so,  and  he  certainly  wasn't  lacking  in  ENTHUSIASM  for  the  art.  though  he  received  praise  and  recognition,  he  was  never  able  to  get  it  from  the  one  person  he  was  most  desperate  to  hear  from.  (  just  say  you're  proud.  just  remember  i  EXIST.  )  ultimately  this  led  to  a  lot  of  deeply  unhealthy  resentment  towards  his  mother.  as  a  result,  ren  focused  less  on  the  individual  and  more  on  the  crowd  —  obsessing  over  gaining  the  adoration  of  the  masses.  someone  please  love  him.  someone  please  pay  attention  to  him. he moved out of his childhood home as soon as he was able, and tried to turn his talent into a genuine career.

while  he  did  see  success,  it  wasn't  without  its  downsides.  immense  strain  on  his  body.  repeated  injuries.  he  hurt  himself  —  over  and  over  and  over  again, then kept going regardless.  pushing  himself  to  an  UNHEALTHY  degree  that  could  have  very  well  led  to  permanent  injury  had it  been  allowed  to  go on.

however,  a  certain  incident  when  he  was  twenty  led  to  the  death  of  nearly  everyone  he  loved  —  and  in  his  grief,  ren  could  no  longer  muster  the  will  to  continue.

he  spent  over  a  year  languishing  in  a  very  deep  DEPRESSION,  only  ever  putting forth  the  effort  to  pretend  he  isn't  completely  in  shambles  in  front  of  farrow,  taiyang  and  anhe.  in  time,  he  eventually  stumbled  upon  the  world  of  STREAMING  —  and  while  it  was  never  his  intention  to  make  a  big  deal  out  of  it,  ren  decided  to  give  it  a  go.  he  used  his  streams  mostly  as  an  opportunity  to  vent  his  frustrations  in  a  somewhat  healthy  way  —  doing  something  he  genuinely  enjoyed  (  gaming  )  while  taking  out  his  wealth  of  anger  on  the  teammates  and  enemies  alike  who  irritated  him.  it  was  more  like  an  unconventional  form  of  video  diary.  however,  by  some  strange  stroke  of  luck,  he  actually  began  cultivating  an  audience.

his  pretty  face  was  enough  to  draw  people  in  —  yet  some  decided  to  stay  for  the  entertainment  his  sharp  tongue  provided.  as  his  popularity  grew,  ren's  despair  simmered  to  a  more  manageable  state.  instead,  he  found  himself  slipping  back  into  a  familiar  (  toxic  )  mindset.  valuing  his  self-worth  entirely  on  what  other  people  thought  of  him,  how  much  of  their  attention  he  could  command,  how  much  money  he  could  earn  from  their  affection.  he's  received  a  fair  bit  of  criticism  for  his  cultivating  of  a  distinctly  PARASOCIAL  relationship  with  his  fanbase  —  but  the  truth  is,  ren  needs  the  recognition  of  his  followers  just  as  much  as  they  crave  recognition  from  him.

MISC HEADCANONS UNDER THE CUT ...

he's  twenty  four  by  default;  he's  been  streaming  for  about  three  years.

farrow is a mod on his streams.

his username is technically ❝ wanderer,  ❞ but he'll also answer to ren — and a lot of his fans do just default to calling him ren.

he  often  gets  just  as  much  hate  as  he  does  positivity,  but  he  doesn't  really  care  because  negative  publicity  is  still  publicity.  someone  once  tried  to  cancel  him  on  twitter  over  his  nasty  personality  and  he  held  an  official  #wandererisoverparty  on  stream  where  he  read  out  hate  tweets with genuine delight.

he isn't the most popular content creator, but he has enough of a following to comfortably pay his half of the apartment's rent and have a line of merch.

ren only ever really leaves the apartment to go on walks through nature or swing through his favorite coffee shop. or break into heizou's house and rearrange the furniture.

doesn't drink often, but has an absurd alcohol tolerance when he does.

he suffers from horrible insomnia and actively has to hide his dark circles with makeup. he tries to compensate by drinking massive amounts of caffeine — which, while effective, has left him with a dependency that gives him splitting headaches whenever he skips out on his tea or coffee.

swears a lot more than canon ren. which is to say, he actually swears at all. in general, the way he speaks and holds himself is more relaxed in comparison — because he has had a rough life, but not to the extent of canon ren, and not for nearly as long.

dresses differently when he's walking around casually verses when he's streaming.

he tends to prefer either pvp games where he can spin his irritation with others into a source of entertainment or calm singleplayer games like minecraft or stardew valley where he can just vibe.

his tongue and both ears are pierced — the left with an additional industrial piercing.

shares his apartment with kazuha! they are boyfriends.

he also has a number of tattoos. some resemble canon ren's markings, others look almost as though his body has been repaired with kintsugi.

[phantomswolf]

here, i answered the art questions

1. Art programs you have but don't use

aseprite, krita (nightmare to draw in), i used to have a totally 100% absolutely-not-pirated copy of photoshop but not anymore

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

depends on the day, but usually the left. i hate doing side profiles tho

3. What ideas come from when you were little

A LOT. but my story Nightfall has been a work in progress since I was 11

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

GORO AKECHI PERSONA 5

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

i hardly post most of my art on Tumblr atm, but that’s because almost all of it regards the Kirby Gemini AU and my partner and i are making a blog for that. so, as a percentage for the last few years, i’ve probably only posted maybe. less than 1% of my work?

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

honestly a lot of old emo art fksbfjfbd jhonen vasquez was a huge inspo to me for a while

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

PLUSH MAKING AND FURSUIT MAKING god i wanna learn but i don’t think sewing is my thing

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

i’ve had a lot, but i wanna keep them to myself in case I wanna salvage bits and pieces

9. What are your file name conventions

Depends on the day and the art piece but usually shit like “sorry if this looks gay”, variations of AWOO, “normal”, “k i l l”, “straight people”, etc

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

Uhhhh armor (i say like a fucking freak)

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

this nightmare of a playlist

12. Easiest part of body to draw

Uhhhhhhh depends on the day, usually the face

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

iunno, i don’t think abt that

14. Any favorite motifs

A LOT. i cant think of any specific ones rn but i guess. religious imagery is pretty baller. that and super dark palettes with bright neon highlights and accents

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

my room for digital stuff, but i usually bring a sketchbook with me if i’m going out

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

oughhh coloring and shading

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

usually water. hydration is important 👍

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

traditional, i have no clue. too many. digital supplies uhhh i didn’t break per se, but two art tablets have given out (my first one lasted years, but the second only lasted a few months coz it sucked booty hole)

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

TREES.

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

expression work!

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

my partner’s style!! i love it so fucking much

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

i do a lot of hand stretches. carpal tunnel was too much of a bitch not to

23. Do you use different layer modes

all the time! always for shading and for glowing bits. multiply and add glow layers my beloved

24. Do your references include stock images

sometimes yea lol. i don’t use refs as much as i should tho

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

Too much for me to be happy about it.

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

i drew a vent piece and people took it as me just being edgy. wild times

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

somedays i do. usually just shitposts or my sona

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

i have participated in 1 (one) collab

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

uhh ace attorney and persona

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

is it weird to say a lot of my works? like the finished ones. iunno, i feel like i get overlooked a lot and it’s a cowabummer

[btch3sluvme]

Well, this is my Stranger Things Oc! (Hope ya like her ^^)

Her name is Anne, she does have a surname but she doesn't like it!

She is 15 years old in season 4 (that making her the youngest of the group without counting Ericka) and spend practically all her evenings inside the walls of her bedroom drawing and listening to her fathers favourite rock bands

She is a Lesbian! 🏳‍🌈♥

She has mixed skin and aquamarine eyes full of eyelaces. Her hair is somewhat curly and is the same color as almonds (medium lenght). She wears girly clothes, she just can't help but feel so pretty in such pieces of clothing! Her outfit is like this:

She is a very sweet teenager, she cares for everyone that made their way into her heart (in a platonic or romantic way) and is a rock music fan! Spanish bands like: -La Frontera. -Siniestro Total. -Tequila. -Seguridad Social. and -The Refrescos Are her deaydream at school!

She has mommy issues, but anyways Nancy makes the role of a mother to her so... problem solved!!

She loves when Steve babies her and her friends like they were naive 6-year-old kids. She thinks it's adorable!

She has a very good relationship with her father, he cares for her heatlh and well-being (and about his too!) and isn't too protective although he gets kinda worried when Anne disappears for 2-3 days without warning (*cough* *cough* that's the upside down world's fault *cough* * cough*)

She is in deep love with Eleven, her heart fluthers everytime she smiles at her or talks to her and she can't help but want more about her! But she is aware that El loves Mike and that Mike loves her back, so she just watches from afar how the two of them look so happy... It hurts her so much to see how deeply El's love for Mike is! But she won't do anything to try and make them break up, she knows that El is Straight and even if she made the two of them break up there is 0 chance of Eleven loving her back and it would be a lose-lose for everyone, so instead of that she decided that if two people were happy one could stay with her heart broken.

Later on (in the ends of season 3), Anne finded out that Will was gay and had a crush on Mike, so one night the two of them had a deep talk in Will's room and vented to each other about how much it hurted them to see the person they loved with another!!

They both cried so much that they fell asleep on Will's bed that night. Jonathan entered to turn off the lights and to throw a blanket over the two of them.

Anne laid eyes on Eddie (platonically) the first time she saw him, and later on that day Dustin introduced them to eachother and they both clicked in a way that only sibilings could do!

After that Anne began to get attached to the black haired boy. She wasn't in love with him, that's for sure, but since Will left to California she felt very lonely, and Eddie made her feel like the huge hole that Will's heading to California left it was finally complete!

When all of the upside down dimension/world in season 4 happened she sometimes felt like she could die any were any moment and that lead to her search for protection by clinging onto any friend of her that was near when she felt that way. That lead on Steve carrying her piggyback style in more than one occasion, on Nancy hugging her, on Robin ruffling her hair or on Eddie taking her hand by walking.

All of the group knew that she was the youngest of the group and that she only wanted to feel safe, so everyone in the band incluiding kids (Dustin, Max, Lucas) moms (Nancy and Robin) , the cool uncle (Eddie) and the babysitter (do I even have to explain this-? Steve Supremacy 😌) cared for her and tried to give her the protection she was searching for so desesperattly.

Im not really into ST but she seens so nice :) also IVLOVE HER OUTFIT, IM GONNA STEAL IT, also La Frontera is so good omg, my mom loves it

[fuzziekins]

Story time!

Had a best friend growing up. We were so close that not only did our moms become friends but she had Christmas or Easter at her mom's my parents and i were invited to celebrate even though we're Jewish. She was more like a sister to me than anything. She's the one who got me into most of the animes i watched back then, primarily Pokémon and Digimon (she tried Yu-Gi-Oh as well but i ended up getting there on my own). She was also the person who really got me into drawing and made me want to create more. We were best friends for 10 years until she randomly stopped when we were 16-17. My other two best friends who knew her, when we all get together she's one of the names that comes up and you know what i learned? Even before she randomly cut me off, she was never really a good friend. Or person. But did i stop enjoying these things?

Well, yeah, art for a while, but that was for a totally different, personal, and more traumatic reason and that didn't happen for another 8-9 years.

I continued to play Pokémon games. I still buy Pokémon plushies. I think back on Digimon and my response is, "i loved that show when i was a kid" (even though yes, the dub probably wasn't that great). And even though she may have influenced my art style back then, styles grow and change. It's been 18 years since i've officially been friends with her, and in that time i only randomly saw her once or twice and had less than a minute interaction with her both times. When i'm with my friends and we complain/vent about the people in high school, yeah her name comes up and i have many feelings and frustrations. But when i'm watching these animes i enjoy? When i'm going on a virtual Pokémon journey? When i'm creating my headcannons of what Disney characters would have which Pokémon or Digimon partners? When i watch any of those things? She's the last thing on my mind.

20 years ago i absolutely credited her with getting me into art and considered her the reason i loved to draw. But that was wrong. When anyone asks me where my creativity comes from? Why i art or love to write? The person who really started it all? It was my dad. He went to school for art (even though he never got to pursue it as a career). He enjoyed writing. He passed those onto me. He encouraged my creativity. He may be gone now and it may have taken time to enjoy those things again, and maybe for reasons i didn't quite expect and in ways i couldn't imagine. Now i create for queer representation. For something to give people. Sometimes for venting. And, hopefully, to make people happy (or, at the very least, feel something).

Because these are my things now. And that ex-friend can go screw herself.

get revenge on those who wronged you by continuing to like the things you used to enjoy together, then re-contextualize and re-interpret them to suit your own personal enjoyment without worrying about what they might think. it’s yours now. reclaim your joy

[rindragon-from-twewy]

This week bouta be a rough one lads-

So this is just a big long rambly vent, nothing important or interesting unless you want some epic (boring) Rindude lore lol

I got no one else to text it to so- slap it on the internet I'm sure this won't bite me in like 10 years time or something-

So anyways, my physical and mental health have been at their worst these last 2 years. Thought it reached rock bottom in like 2016-2017? But nah turns out I hadn't even downloaded all the secret awful emotions expansion pack dlc back then so- whoops.

Anyways so that's kinda why I joined tumblr? Like I'd been meaning to for a while cuz I like watching post reading videos on yt and I can't really talk to my friends about certain things cuz they're not mutual interests- (like twewy, rain code, basically anything post about fandom wise lol-) And on top of that I've kinda lost the person I used to say all my random thoughts to and share my art and ocs and writing with so... I guess I'm replacing them with the internet? It's the best I got for now. But that's all a story for another time ig-

I suppose it's funny though cuz in retrospect, my health being awful gave me a taste of a lot of experiences I wouldn't have properly understood otherwise like being in a wheelchair, coping with bouts of being mute and re-learning a lot of otherwise ordinary things like how to eat and even how to use stairs! (Gosh it sounds like I was in some tragic accident lol- I promise, I wasn't, I've never broken a bone before!) But it's just kinda... odd... how only I really notice the ways the physical side of my health issues has impacted me long term? Those around me think I want to learn sign language now on a whim and not because I now understand how hard it is to communicate when audible or written words aren't options. I see eating and food in a way I just didn't before. It's much more of a necessity then a joy compared to how things were before. Though don't get me wrong, I still love snacks!

I guess the point in tryna make is. I may have lost a friend. I may have - and will continue to - lose a lot of the stability in my life that I need. But it won't be this way forever. I hope. Enough people have proven that they're in this for the ling haul. They're going to stay. And I should focus on them and making sure they know I appreciate it!!! But... also... I'm totally down for making new friends too, any day of the week. I'm just a lil guy tho so... it's hard to keep new people interested cuz I tend to be either too much or too little... uh. Things. Will be better. They will be. I just need to keep going. Keep drawing. Keep writing. Keep eating. Keep walking. I can stagnate for a while, when I need. Dare I say it's healthy to do so sometimes!

Progress isn't a straight line. Neither is the road to recovery or even grief. I'm low now but I've already gotten a lot better then even just a month ago!

I'll feel awful sometimes.

But even just... existing... being alive. That means I'm winning. :>

[nolan-chance]

Sorry if I talk way too much about this ship nobody but me creates things of/cares about, I just love them so much.

Dumb rant under the cut. Don't pity me, I hate that (?)

I know my IRL friends (who knows nothing about FN) would listen to me but they wouldn't understand, my one (1) online friend knows less than nothing about FN and she doesn't understand a thing, people in the fandom doesn't understand, either because they prefer other ships or because they simply don't see them as couple. I get it, I also find hard seeing certain characters as couple, that's totally valid. Posting here is what I feel is the best, despite being like talking to a wall (?) but it's my Diamondchance place. I've tried to make more self indulgent things about this ship, but at the same time I'm not really inspired. I know, I could comission artists, I know because I've been doing so (not much, like 8 times, including some nasties (?)) , but it getting way too expensive, and that's no problem, but I don't even know what to ask them for. I have zero ideas because I'm not very creative, neither good at drawing. Right now I'm just expecting a piece I comiisioned, the "poster" I posted last week, but well made with the models. I wasn't sure about comision that particular piece, I wanted it to be something bigger, something more special and related with the fic, but I couldn't came up with anything good. I know it will be great, not because my idea is great, but because the artist is great and they know what they're doing (I love their art work, they're the best. I wish I could throw money at them just because).

I just feel like to vent from time to time (like three times per day (?)). I just wish I had someone who loved them as much as I do, but I guess it's a pretty common thing in this fandom, since there are SOOOOO many characters, the possibilities are endless! And you know I'm aware Nolan is not the best for Monty (he looks way better with Mydas, with Baleria, with Lorenso, even Ozcar, Nolan is at the end of the line when it comes to pick someone to pair Monty with (?). And yes, I'm misspelling their names for a reason) .

Despite all my love for this ship I don't really feel like to finish the fic. I know I'm always saying I'm getting there, that I'm excited about it and all that but, as I'm getting to the closure, I'm not feeling like that anymore. Sometimes I wish I could simply post what I have as I have it (In Spanish without checking grammar) and call it a day. I mean, nothing would be lost, except for the one person reading it. But I'd give you a summary of I do that, don't worry, is not even that good after all (?).

I've been thinking about some scenarios, but of course, I can't write, I'm so bad at it, and despite me encouraging people to "write it bad but write it", I know it doesn't applies to me because I KNOW what I write is bad bad (?). Yes I have fun thinking about that, but I think it's for the best not making the same mistake I did with the fic, which wasn't supposed to be posted. It was supposed to be a silly little thing for me to me, and it should've stayed that way.

Anyway. I'm wonder what's gonna be left for my soul once DiamondChance is over for good (?)

Related Nolan pic because I'm always posting dumb shit and this time would not be the exception /?

[selfawerew0lfsart]

A Small Confession

Putting this under cut because it's a vent confession.

For a while now art hasn't been fun for me. I've been putting so much strain trying to improve technically and to succeed in getting better in order to find work that I just sort of ruined it for myself. If it weren't for watercolor being a liberating output where I wasn't putting stress on myself I'd probably be burnt 100%. I'm kind of about to cry admitting all this because there was a time when art was an experimental game for me. That disappeared and has been struggling to return to me since I've been trying to "make it". Whatever that fuckin means at this point.

I kind of realized this watching Kim Jung Gi lectures and just watching him be free drawing without fear. I was watching this one lecture in particular where he says "Drawing should be 2nd nature to you" (not exact phrasing but whatever lol). The other thing he said was "You shouldn't feel pressured about your drawing or inferior about your level. Put that aside. Don't worry." I totally forgot about that. He just DRAWS. He draws what he sees. He doesn't worry about grids or technical language or anything like that. He just intuitively draws the world like I used to at one point.

I've been so hell bent on technicality and other things like that I forgot I LIKE to draw. And that over analyzing things in the technical terms just absorbed any enjoyment that I might have had just DRAWING.

Sorry if this rambled or I repeated myself any lol. But this is what's been going on in my head for today and it feels like something has dislodged for the better. I'm in art rehab basically trying to rediscover the simple joy I had for drawing once again. I just had to get it off my chest.

[argiopi]

oh my fucking god I am sick of doing commissions I just want to draw the things I want to draw.

Advice to anyone thinking of supporting themselves entirely from commissions - be seriously careful about work-life balance & monetizing your hobbies. I supported myself entirely with commissions during quarantine and I’m grateful it was an option, I’m glad I tried it, but I fucking hated it. I already knew I work poorly with no structure but having no schedule and also having my primary hobby be my job? Very very very bad! I wanted to be drawing most of the time because I love drawing, but whenever I was drawing something for me there was the pressing thought in the back of my mind that you should be working! And whenever I was working I just thought I want to be drawing a material study or fanart or anything I actually want! There was no peace. I felt like I had to be working all the time, because I was always at home and able to draw and often already drawing, and sometimes the pressure was too much so I just didn’t draw at all, which made me feel guiltier, and I wasn’t enjoying art. I never tried imposing a schedule on myself, except for feeling that my (sometimes nightly) 4 AM bursts of fervent inspiration were mine alone and not my customers’, but I think maybe that would have helped? To have some sense of which time is mine. Or go the original content route, selling prints or merch or making a comic (not to mention that those are more passive incomes - comm pay is crap I only made minimum wage a couple times, most was below! and for one of those I had to stay up all night into the next day because there was a deadline). Anything that lets you do what you want to do, avoid anything that puts you in an unhealthy mindset it will damage your relationship with art. I was being hired for high-detail fully-rendered pieces because that’s my niche, and now I’m burnt out on painting. So I’m really enjoying the quicker stuff I post here (I wonder if any of you would guess I’m primarily a painter?). Nature is healing~