#this took. roughly 6 hours to make. and 4 of those hours was waiting for the videos to fucking download

[relentlessly-tired]

how do I stop myself from eating? I hate looking like a pig but I always end up eating. I've tried gum but I always run out whenever I need it. any advice? thanks

Honestly my biggest piece of advice is DON'T stop eating. Literally, NEVER start dping fasts/OMAD. Obviously everyone is different and if it works for you yay, but for me personally fasting and OMAD has messed me up. Always led to more binges and uncontrollable eating bc if just make myself wait till i was sooo fucking hungry. And also I got used to eating rlly large volumes of food which even tho it was veg and stuff probably stretched my stomach out so the times I did binge it was way worse and also just in general took ages to start feeling full w small portions again. So yeah, anyway here are my biggest tips:

1- don't fast.

2- take it slow. Your body takes a little while to adjust to being in a deficit, so only slowly up your deficit every few days.

3- don't restrict too low. I've found much better results by eating 1k-1.3k cals and then being very active and burning 2k-2.5k cals a day. So a deficit of 1k or more. Rather than eating 500cals a day and only burning 1.5k cals (I'm short af might be different for u) and still being in a deficit of 1k. It's way more sustainable, haven't binged in a while, and mentally more clear most of the time.

4- protein and fibre. Yogurt. Fruit. Eggs. Cottage cheese. Chicken. Meat. vegetables. Eat those types of food and you'll feel way fuller for longer. I hardly get the urge to snack for hours after eating a meal now.

5- snack on low cal foods. Fruit. Carrots (my personal fav). Ham slices. My snacks is where ill let myself have a biscuit or piece of chocolate (roughly 150 cals worth). It stops the cravings.

6- don't completely cut out sugar, but limit it. This works for me. I don't eat sweeteners or sugar ever unless it is given to me, then I always accept and just budget it into my daily cals. Never drink anything other than coffee, water, tea. Your body gets used to not having sm sugar and it gets sm easier.

7- dont be afraid to eat at maintenance. Every few days after being in a large deficit, I always have a maintenance day and then the next day is lower than maintenance but still not as low as I usually go.

8- get away from the kitchen. Stop thinking ab food. Get hobbies. (The hardest thing for me tbh)

9- running completely curbs my appetite.

[tallymonster]

Memories of Us Chapter 6

Chapters: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

Summary: It's party time bitches. Octavia and Gale get a little close, tell each other some things about themselves. Gross wine is involved.

Inspired by @cheesy-cryptid 's fan art that took root in my mind and continues to do so.

As always I want to give credits to my best friend @micropoe10 for reading this and helping me come up with stuff. You're the best babe 😘

Tag list: (as always thanks to those who asked to be tagged! If you'd like to join, let me know!)

@justporo @satanicspinosaurus @sleepy-timaeus @tragedybunny @davenswitcher @wayward-hel

Chapter 6

maybe you and me

Inside the museum, the crowd is evergrowing. Hundreds of people are flooding the main atrium. Not even in Octavia's childhood celebrating her hero ancestor had she seen this many people in one place. She and Gale keep walking linked arm in arm, as they step through the convention she sees the statue of Tav, her great grandmother. She feels like now is the perfect time to tell Gale.

"Uh...Gale?" She tugs a little at his sleeve, he turns to look at her quizzically. "Everything okay?" He asks, she nods reassuringly " I have something to tell you and I don't want you to freak out or anything..." She looks over at the statue and begins telling him about her childhood.

The stories her grandmother would tell her about the hero matriarch of their family, the adventures that were had with his ancestor Gale of Waterdeep, the grand wizard who also saved this town. The trials they had through with the Gith, the Sharran turned Selunite, the Tiefling with the heart of iron, and the Blade of Frontiers.

The whole story fascinated Gale and he couldn't believe that she knew what he had grown up with, to be one of the line of people they came from was no easy task. "Incredible! You somehow always have a trick up your sleeve don't you? Oh I cannot wait to tell Astarion!" His eyes are alight with renewal behind them. He shakes his head and holds on to both of Octavia's hands. "You are the key. You are the one who could help, this is why he gave you the damn book! How? How the hells did he even know?!"

Octavia's brows shot up and a cold worry quickly filled her. "He doesn't know. I don't know if you realize by how little I mention it, or by how quietly I just told you in a gigantic party, but I'm not exactly one to advertise my family lineage. People tend to get weird about it.." She slowly drops her hands out of Gale's. "I would appreciate it if we didn't tell him...not yet." She swallows nervously, "Maybe after this whole painting business is done?"

She smiles wryly and takes a pair of drinks from a tray carrying waiter passing by. "Let's just take a note from his book tonight? What does he say? 'Live a little, daaahling'." She ends with a bad impersonation of Astarion, hands Gale the glass and they clink glasses; he shakes his head with a smile and drinks.

—-------------------

It had been roughly two hours since she and Gale were separated by the guests who had a million questions about the new exhibit. She was on her third different way of wording the same answer to a halfling who kept making it very clear that their family was one of the many donors to this museum. She laughs and nods, appeasing them and excusing herself. She finds an open door to the outer balcony and swiftly walks towards it.

Thankfully there was another drink table next to it, she grabs a flight of what looks like sparkling water and quickly drinks it. To her distaste, it was more of that gross tasting champagne. As she comes out onto the balcony, she wriggles as the bubbles shoot down her throat, the sensation causing her to make an audible groan.

"Isn't it just awful? I pay for the best but get this vinegar in a champagne bottle. How utterly disappointing." Of course, as if on cue, Astarion makes his appearance. He strolls up from behind Octavia and dumps the champagne into a topiary planter. He's dressed in the most immaculate outfit she has ever seen him wear.

Black from top to bottom, his shirt was opened and his chest exposed to the moonlight, very fitted pants, and a hint of red in the lining of his jacket. His eyes are covered by his glasses, Octavia was hoping he wouldn't wear them tonight but she doesn't bring it up.

Astarion takes a red handkerchief from his coat pocket and wipes his lips in one fluid motion. "Good evening to you too, Astarion. I take it you're having a good night? Well aside from the drinks." Octavia giggles and leans back on the edge of the enclosure, her hands resting on the wall.

"I would if these people would stop making me repeat myself. Don't know how many times I was approached by the same Drow woman asking me idiotic questions about the other exhibits. Thank the Gods she got pulled away by an hors d'oeuvres tray passing by. I made my dashing escape afterwards. What about you, darling? Are you finally enjoying yourself?" He stands next to her, facing out towards the city.

"Yes, somewhat. I mean I'm right there with you about the cycle of questioning. Other than that it's been..." she pauses, looking down "it's been fine. Like I said before, I'm more of a 'work silently in the background' type. So for me to be here, under all this attention...it's intimidating. I'm just not used to it." Her lips upturn slightly, she plays with the hem of the sleeve hanging off her shoulder. "I'm sorry if that's not the answer you were looking for."

She huffs and turns her body to look out. "Growing up here, you learn a lot of things, fantastical adventures, death defying actions to save the world, magic and gods, demons, mind flayers....honestly I'm glad I didn't have to do all of that. Seems hard." She bends a little and places her elbows on the edge of the wall, there she tucks her hands under her chin.

Astarion looks down at her, his brows somewhat knitted together, a small frown on his face. "Darling, it's one thing to read about it, doing it is a completely different story." He turns to his right, looking into the patrons inside the atrium. "Those people in there would never get it. They're the elites who came up after all the shit everyone else cleaned up. They weren't the ones knee deep in it for who knows how long. Sleeping in dirt, chasing monsters, killing whomever or whatever tried to kill you first. It's exhausting."

He spoke like someone who had first hand experience with this, the way he seethed through the whole speech. Octavia sensed there was something else behind that anger, but this was not the time to pry more. She turns to him, standing close under the evening stars, she places her hand on his. Somehow this seemed like what he needed right now.

Astarion tenses a little, but Octavia can feel him relax soon after. From the corner of her eye she could swear a small smile cracked in the corner of his mouth and his ears wiggled a little. There was a small huff behind it, followed by Astarion clearing his throat. They stand there in the silence, staring out at the lights glittering in the veil of the night.

"OCTAVIA!!! FINALLY I FOUND YOU!!!" Gale comes stumbling through the door, his jacket is undone and the drink in his hand is swirling wildly with his movements. "I have been..looking EVERYWHERE for you!!!" She and Astarion break their contact, startled, and she walks towards Gale catching him in her arms. Astarion instantly disappears into the shadows. "I thought I saw 'starion here with you..?"

Gale slurs a bit, his breath smelling like the champagne that Astarion had criticized earlier. "Oh no, I was here alone. Maybe it was one of the waiters they've got wandering around?" She holds up her glass, giving him a slight smile. She links her arm with his and sits down on the bench in front of them. "Why? Were you looking for him for any particular reason?"

Gale enthusiastically nods, his whole body shaking in return. "Yes! I wanted to talk to him!! I haven't seen him all night! He's always moving around in the shadows like some sort of-" "Is there something you wish to talk about, my dear Gale? I just walked past and heard you mention me?" Astarion comes out and interrupts Gale, he walks towards the pair, and he crosses his arms and legs on the wall in front of them. "YES! I..was thinking about that book!"

Octavia quietly gasps, her whole body turning cold in an instant. Whether it was from the lack of covering on her shoulders and arms, or the fear of Gale's drunk inhibitions outing her in front of Astarion "Octavia here..." He continues, "She told me that she knows stuff! Like...real good stuff..." He leans back some, his body fully consumed by the alcohol pulling her down a little. "She was telling me..uh that she's-" before he could finish, Octavia jerks him back, his whole body turning into rubber, pulling them down onto the floor.

She lands on top of him, her arms on his chest, his wrapped around her. "Hi. I forgot what I was talking about." His face full of a drunken blush now turns into a whole body flush. Octavia seizes the opportunity to shut him up, go home, and end this whole night all at the same time.

She pulls Gale up to her and kisses him, the taste of the bitter alcohol filling her mouth. She feels his arms squeeze her down a little and he leans into it some. She pulls away instantly and Astarion lets out a scandalous laugh "Oh I see how it is...good for you Gale"

Octavia gets off, rolling onto her legs and turns up at Astarion. She puts on a somewhat convincing drunk voice, "Sorry, he pulled me down and I...I guess I just couldn't help myself?" Astarion laughs more, extending his hand to help her up, "Oh no dearest, don't worry, I'm not jealous of the walking encyclopedia. I'm happy for you, really. You should probably take him home, seems like he's had a little too much fun for one night, hmm?"

Astarion laughs and helps Octavia pull Gale up, he sways softly as he catches himself. "But..." He pouts, Astarion pats his back and straightens him up more. "Gale, whatever it is you can always tell me later. There are more pressing matters that I feel you should attend to..." He motions his head towards Octavia, she could feel the salacious glare behind the lenses he wore and it made her face go warm. "Yeah, let's go Gale."

[janetbrown711]

The Monsters Gone, He's on the Run

MK and Mei go to school and it goes the opposite of well

Tw for bullying, ableism, and (past) child abuse

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Ao3 Link

Work Text:

Pigsy and MK dug through every remaining box in the entire apartment until they found his uniform in three separate boxes: cookware, towels and books.

Look, the chef never once claimed he was good at organization. In fact, it was stated several times in the previous chapter, so… yeah.

The whole ordeal took roughly an hour, so after they all had a quick meal, Tang had to go back to his place and he parted from the trio.

“Mr. Piggy, can we watch a movie?” MK asked just as Pigsy was going to make them go to bed.

“Kid, it’ll be super late by the time it’d end and you two got school tomorrow,” Pigsy pointed at the both of them.

“Awwwww, not even a widdle iddy biddy kids movie?” Mei gave her puppy dog eyes and Pigsy forced himself to look away.

“I–” Pigsy sighed. “Fine– a short one though– and after it’s over, it’s straight to bed,” Pigsy crossed his arms and the kids saluted him.

“Yessir, Mr. Piggy Boss,” MK grinned, making the chef roll his eyes and suppress a chuckle. The kids quickly ransacked the pile of DVDs Pigsy had recently purchased, before putting on some animated Disney movie about a blue alien and a girl or something in Hawai’i. Pigsy was wiped out from all of the day’s emotions, and so set an alarm for an hour so he could wake everyone up and make them go to bed before resting his eyes on the new, incredibly comfortable couch.

.o0o.

Pigsy wanted to murder the man who made his alarm tone with his bare hands. It seemed he was always sleeping in utter peace until the alarm went off and suddenly every muscle in his body– especially his neck and back– hurt. With a grunt, the Pig demon reached into his– wait a minute–

Pigsy forced his eyes open, startled to find he was still on the couch with bright morning light glaring down, and MK curled up against him and Mei curled up against MK.

Shit shit shit shit shit—

Pigsy immediately shot up, easily waking MK before he had to shake Mei’s shoulder.

“Mmm? Wuzzup?” Mei rubbed her eyes.

“We got a half hour before we need to leave– I need to find the address again– and you two need to eat– just– yeah– go get ready,” Pigsy rubbed his face while MK and Mei got up and left for their rooms. Glad they were listening, he turned off his alarm, and the TV (God the electric bill was gonna be sky high) before he started making them toast.

Once that got started Pigsy checked his phone to see what had gone wrong when he realized he had set the alarm for AM, not PM.

Well that’s just fun.

With a sigh, the pig turned off the alarm and changed out of yesterday's chef's shirt into a fresh one and splashed water on his face before he heard the toaster ding and buttered those for MK and Mei when they finally entered the kitchen.

“Ooo, toast,” MK pulled out a bar stool from under the kitchen island to sit and eat.

Mei eyed the bread up while pulling on her long black hair curiously.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s no rice porridge or dim sum but we’re on a time crunch– and it’s just warmed bread– so– please just eat it,” Pigsy pleaded with the girl, who shrugged and ate. With a nod, Pigsy went over to his laptop and pulled up all the information on the school he had saved– most importantly the address.

Pigsy had been wise in choosing this apartment complex, as it was only three blocks away from the academy– but they still had to get an elevator in time and– ugh

Pigsy had to meet with the principal.

Great.

Perfect, even.

“You two ready yet?” Pigsy asked, still looking out at some of the paperwork.

“This bread is really good,” Mei grinned at the chef with a mouthful of toast, which Pigsy decided not to comment on.

“Alright– well hurry up– we’re gonna have to get going soon,” Pigsy said, glancing at the clock yet again.

“Mr. Piggy? Why do we have to go to school,” MK asked, taking another bite of the toast.

“Because it’s Mei’s parent’s wishes, and I’ll be damned before I get on the bad side of a heavenly monarchy,” Pigsy snorted.

“But my Mama and Baba are– gone,” Mei tilted her head.

Pigsy bit his cheek.

“Look– your parents have a lot of hopes and dreams for you kid– a whole plan and stuff that I have to try to make sense of and keep in order and stuff,” He looked at Mei. “And besides, whether or not they specifically mentioned and paid for this school, you two still legally gotta go– so there’s no escaping this for you either, MK,” Pigsy scratched the back of his neck. MK sighed dramatically.

“Okayyyyyyyy,” He accepted his fate and ate a final bite of toast.

“Alright, get your bags– they should still have everything–” Pigsy looked at the papers again, but couldn’t really read because of how frantic he was. With a sigh, he shoved all of the papers into a bag of his own before meeting the kids at the door.

“You two ready?” He asked.

“Yessir, Mr. Piggy,” MK grinned, which Mei copied.

“Alright, let’s do this then.”

.o0o.

Everyone and their mother was staring at Pigsy, MK and Mei.

The moment they stepped onto the school’s block, it was like every parent or maid or worker or whatever within a 20 foot radius immediately whipped their heads in their direction, and then turned to each other to pretend like they weren’t absolutely gossipping about them.

When he set foot beyond the gate, the stares got worse, as school children were much worse at filtering and hiding their gawking.

At least Mei was kind of having a good time, waving at friends she hadn’t seen in awhile. She was certainly doing better than MK, who grabbed Pigsy’s hand and hid behind him– which caught him off guard, but the kid clearly needed it, so he gave his hand a squeeze.

“So… uh… I guess kids ‘round these parts don’t see demons often, do they Mei?” Pigsy forced a smile on his face in a pathetic attempt to not look intimidating.

“Nope! Though I did know one boy who had a demon maid, but that was rare and she apparently didn’t last long,” Mei shrugged.

“Fun,” Pigsy sighed as they finally made it to the front door.

MK squeezed Pigsy’s hand, which made him laugh a little and squeeze right back.

Once in the building, the trio made a beeline to the front desk, and after some more gawking, they were let in and waited only a short time before they were guided to Headmaster Jiangxi.

“Ah, Mr. Zhu, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” the headmaster said, offering his hand, which Pigsy shook before they all had a seat.

“Miss Long, it’s always a pleasure to see you,” Mr. Jiangxi nodded at her, “And you must be Mister Qi.”

“I-i prefer MK,” he said, his hands fiddling with the buttons on his blazer.

“Ah, here at Megapolis City Academy, we like to make sure all of our students are treated with respect and as adults,” The principal informed, which Pigsy wasn’t sure he liked or not.

“Right– well, uhm– you got their schedule?” Pigsy decided to change the subject.

“Yes, yes, Miss Long and Mister Qi are in the same class, as per your request,” he pulled out a sheet of paper from a manilla folder and handed it to MK.

“I also have resources for tutoring services for Xiaotian, as this school is very advanced and we only want the best for our students,” He said, handing Pigsy a paper, which he took with a huff.

“How do you know he’ll struggle? MK’s a smart kid,” Pigsy gave him a look.

“Mr. Zhu, I’m sure you’re aware it’s best to be prepared for any and all future circumstances,” The headmaster gave him a look right back.

Great job, Pigsy. Way to impress.

“Anyways, in normal circumstances, I would provide a full briefing to you, Mister Qi, about all the classes you will be taking and where to find them, but I trust that Miss Long here will do a fine job of that on her own,” he nodded at the girl, who smiled.

“Yes sir, Headmaster Jiangxi!”

The principal nodded in approval. “Well then, you two are dismissed so I can talk to your… guardian alone.”

Pigsy didn’t know why he hesitated to say guardian– it was the right word. After all, it was painfully obvious he wasn’t their dad or anything– even just thinking about them or anyone else calling Pigsy ‘dad’ just felt wrong.

“O-oh– um– okay,” MK got up from his chair.

“Wait– one more thing, Mister Qi,” The principal suddenly stopped the boy.

“H-huh? What?” MK blinked.

“That bandana– that’s not part of our school uniform.”

“O-o-oh…” MK tensed, glancing at Pigsy.

“Is it really hurting anyone?” Pigsy looked at the principal.

Headmaster Jiangxi looked MK up and down a couple of times before sighing. “Perhaps for this first day or so an exception can be made– until he can get a proper haircut, that is.” Again, he gave Pigsy a look.

“T-thanks Headmaster Jiangxi,” MK bowed before smiling a little at Pigsy.

“C’mon MK– class is gonna start soon,” Mei grabbed his hand, before remembering to bow to the headmaster too and heading out of the office.

And now he was alone.

“So… Mr. Zhu… I’m sure you’re well aware that your situation is a highly unusual one here at the academy,” He said, typing something on his computer.

“Yeah, I think all of the stares and gawking made that clear,” Pigsy snorted.

“Yes, well one certainly can’t blame them– you are rather unhuman,” He said matter-of-factly.

Pigsy’s eye twitched and he dug his nails into his arm so he didn’t say something stupid.

“For safety precautions we do background checks on any and all adults that enroll children in the academy, and I must ask– how is it that Mr. and Mrs. Long knew you?” The principal lowered his reading glasses.

Oh fuck– how was he supposed to explain this–

“L-look– I– um– if you talk to their lawyer, Miss Gatita, I’m sure she can put it better than I can,” Pigsy nervously laughed.

Headmaster Jiangxi eyed him. “I supposed it would take a lawyer to explain why a pig demon with a past of misdemeanors, veteran status, and now chef would know members of the dragon clan.”

“Haha, yeah.” Pigsy knew this situation was strange, but every time someone put it into words, he was reminded of how insane it was all over again.

“And it is out of respect we allowed Xiaotian and Mei to be enrolled, but it’s important to know we have a zero tolerance policy for bullying or fighting or roughhousing or any other types of disorderly behavior– that includes bandanas,” He informed coldly.

“MK and Mei couldn’t hurt a fly even if they wanted to,” Pigsy waved off his worry. “And ‘sides– is the bandana really hurting anyone? It might be the last thing he owns from his folks.”

The principal sat and pondered that for a moment. “He still needs a proper haircut– and Miss Long should have her hair tied into either pigtails or ponytails or at the very least with a ribbon.”

“I– yeah, I’ve been meaning to get around to that… hard running a business and adopting two kids and then moving and all,” Pigsy admitted.

“Yes, yes, and we do understand that, it’s just that rules will have to be rules, and if their future with us is to be long, then both the children and you must come to understand them completely.”

“I understand rules, I just– I don’t know– is it really hurting?” The chef asked hesitantly.

The headmaster sighed. “Order and structure are the foundations of this academy, and if the boy cannot bear to part with it, then perhaps he is not a proper fit for this school.”

Pigsy hated that tone.

“Alright, alright, I get it– no headband,” He sighed in defeat while the headmaster nodded, satisfied.

“Good, we have just one more matter to be addressed and that’s our emergency contact list,” He said, opening a filing cabinet digging for the proper paper and clipboard before handing it to Pigsy. “You need to have three total backup contacts to reach in case of an emergency. Yours is already on file, of course, but three others are required.”

“Ah– um– okay,” Pigsy looked down at it, feeling deeply uncomfortable at the realization that he didn’t know if he knew three other people.

The headmaster cleared his throat, getting the chef’s attention when he realized he was handing him a pen.

So he had to do this now.

Great.

Pigsy took it with a forced smile and dug out his phone to look through his contacts.

He had a grand total of seven– Tang, Gatita, his now ex-landlord, his repair guy, his father, his mother, and Sandy.

Yeah there was no fucking way Sandy was going to be put on this list– or his parents, for that matter.

Oh god– he hadn’t even told them… had he?

Bah, they didn’t need to know– not now, anyways. In fact, a part of him hoped he’d never have to tell them– but if he knew his family, it was only a matter of time.

As Pigsy looked over the phone numbers the more he was forced to confront that in an emergency basically none of them should be contacted– except for maybe Gatita but even then what could a family lawyer do? And it wasn’t like she said anywhere in the paperwork to put her down as an emergency contact– maybe she’d be good as the 2nd backup. Like– it’s a real emergency at that point– that made sense.

His first thought for the first spot was Tang– but he hadn’t asked him about that stuff yet– and it seemed like a huge leap in their relationship to put him down– but he did say he wanted to help however he could, so…

Pigsy forced himself to write Tang’s information at the top.

And then there was the bottom spot.

Pigsy looked at the ceiling and said a quick prayer to the stars in heaven that there would never, ever be any circumstances in which the school would have to call this last number: his mother.

Pigsy loved his M’ma and all– but he was not ready to explain this to him at all�� Maybe even ever.

He handed the paper and clipboard back to the principal, who looked over it with a slight frown– or maybe that’s just his neutral expression, Pigsy didn’t know.

“Family friend, lawyer, and then grandparents?” He looked at the chef.

“Well– they aren’t blood related to ‘em– plus I’m just a guardian so it’s more like grand-guardians– plus they live in a different city– and the kids know Tang, and Gatita is again the lawyer they vaguely know and– it’s what I have, alright?” Pigsy crossed his arms.

“Very well then,” He sighed, filing away the document. “Do you have any more questions for us?”

Only a billion.

“No.”

“Good,” Headmaster Jiangxi nodded, typed a few more things, then stood to shake the demon’s hand again.

Pigsy shook it.

“Much luck to you, Mr. Zhu; it’s been a pleasure,” The headmaster smiled.

“Right. Thanks,” Pigsy nodded before heading out of the office, finally feeling like he could breathe again.

Alone again.

Wow, that was a strange feeling. Pigsy hadn’t been alone in a week at least– well this was certainly strange. He would’ve dwelled more but he had a restaurant to open, and so headed out, hoping the kids would be okay.

.o0o.

MK received strange looks the moment he and Mei set foot into the classroom, and suddenly he wished he had the monkey king’s power to turn into a bird and fly far, far away from here– or at least to Pigsy’s Noodles.

“Ah, Miss Long, it’s a pleasure to have you back,” The teacher nodded at Mei, “And you must be Qi Xiaotian.”

“J-just MK’s okay,” he said, scrunching his toes in his shoes.

“No, no, we don’t use nicknames in classrooms,” She shook her head and wrote something down. “You’ll be seated next to Mei, Xiaotian. Please take a seat.”

MK frowned, but Mei took his hand and guided him to his seat, which was just about elbow-to-elbow with another taller and bigger student who looked at him and huffed.

“Ah– sorry,” MK apologized, though he couldn’t say what for.

“Oh don’t mind Qiang, MK– he’s kind of a jerkwad,” Mei whispered, to which MK nodded.

“Just my luck,” MK whisper-laughed.

After that lovely set of interactions, the math lesson began, instantly informing the poor boy that he was already way over his head and levels behind everyone else– what even was multiplication?

Mei was doing fine though– she filled out her worksheets perfectly in less than five minutes before she slid the paper towards MK and he started copying her and her answers because of how lost he was.

After a minute of this, Mei swiped the paper a bit to get MK’s attention.

“What?” He whispered.

“Change some of your answers– I don’t wanna get caught.”.

“No whispering, Miss Long,” The teacher shot her a look from her desk.

“Sorry Mrs. Yang!” Mei loudly replied and the teacher just shook her head and sighed.

MK got the message though, and so scribbled out a few of his answers to be replaced with numbers that he figured were close enough before they were taken away and given to the teacher.

After those were collected, she wrote more equations on the blackboard and selected volunteers– but when those ran out, she selected people–

And amongst those lucky few was MK.

This was it. He was going to die today. He and Mei and Mr. Piggy tried their best, but he was toast.

“W-wait-! Can I go up instead?” Mei immediately shot up and volunteered.

“Miss Long, you know the rules of this classroom– sit down,” Again the teacher glared and Mei sighed and sat back down.

“Sorry, I tried,” His best friend gave him a look of pity which MK appreciated.

MK sucked in a breath and joined his fellow classmates at the blackboard before picking up a piece of chalk and selecting a problem to solve.

6 x 3.

What the heck did the ‘x’ even mean? Why are letters in math? Multiplication was a lot different than addition, so he knew the answer couldn’t be nine. The seven-year-old tried glancing around at other kid’s answers, startled to realize more than half had already gone back to their seats.

No biggie, MK, you just gotta figure it out– plus, it’s not like getting it wrong is the end of the world, right?

He looked around and saw a similar problem– 6 x 5, which they said was 30. That didn’t make even the slightest bit of sense to MK, but he was running out of time. With some thinking, he wrote 23, and went to sit– though froze when he heard laughter.

“Settle, class,” The teacher glared (must be her favorite expression) and the class silenced, though Qiang and a couple other boys still had mean grins on their faces, making MK really, really wish he had the Monkey King’s powers as he continued going to sit again.

“Wait, Xiaotian,” Mrs. Yang ordered, and MK was pretty sure he wanted to die now, thank you.

“Can someone explain to Xiaotian what it is he got wrong?” She said, selecting stupid Qiang as her volunteer.

“Six times three is eighteen, not twenty three– How’d you even get that number?” He crossed his arms.

“W-well, I– uh–” MK tapped his fingers against his thumb anxiously, looking back at the board.

“Mrs. Yang, he doesn’t even know,” Qiang said before MK could attempt to explain himself. “Should he even be here?”

Mei shot daggers at Qiang whereas the teacher sighed and rubbed her eyes.

“Qiang, everybody has a right to be in this classroom, even if they’re behind like Xiaotian here.”

Was that supposed to be helpful..?

“Take a seat Xiaotian,” Mrs. Yang instructed, and normally MK would’ve loved that, but now he much preferred the idea of running into the hall, down the stairs, past the office, and out of this school forever. He may not have been math smart, but he was least smart enough to know that wasn’t an option, and so walked back to his desk, his heart pounding in his ears.

“Nice going haircut,” Qiang snickered as he took his seat.

“You wanna go, Qiang?” Mei threatened as MK clasped his head between his hands.

“Like I’m scared of a girl,” Qiang rolled his eyes.

“Miss Long, do I need to make a call to the office again?” Mrs. Yang raised her voice, and Mei shriveled.

“N-no, Mrs. Yang, I-i can be quiet, I promise,” She lowered her head and folded her hands on her desk. MK glanced at Mei and the teacher as she got back to work.

“Why’s she mad at you?” he mouthed.

Mei sighed. “Loud.”

It was true, Mei was loud and chatty and most times unaware of it, but that never bothered MK. He liked hearing her chat about her family or her latest interest– it was refreshing when he was burnt out by his parents or from talking about the Monkey King or school. He didn’t see why it mattered so much– or why she had to threaten her to the office– it wasn’t like she was– well okay, she might’ve started a fight– but Qiang started it! Ugh, school was the worst.

The other subjects passed in a washed out blur, as MK found it much more interesting to examine the classroom decor or look out the window at the bustling city surrounding them than pay any bit of attention. After a couple of hours, everyone got up and headed to the locker rooms to change for gym class.

Which also meant MK and Mei were split up.

Greaaaaaaaaaaaat…

MK looked around the locker room nervously before selecting one in a secluded corner, which quickly proved itself to be a mistake, as he was quickly surrounded by Qiang and his goons.

“You’re like– really stupid, aren’t you Xiaotian?” Qiang crossed his arms.

“I– guess so?” MK shrugged, which made the others laugh.

“What’s that bandana for? It makes you look as stupid as your face,” He tried to grab it but MK stepped back.

“I-i just wear it cuz it’s cool,” he lied.

“Ooo, Xiao-naodai has secrets,” Qiang laughed.

MK suddenly missed being Xiaotian.

“He probably uses it to hide how dirty he is,” One of his friends chimed in.

“Dirty-?” MK looked at him, confused.

“Yeah, he even smells dirty– especially his hair, I mean seriously– how poor are you?” Qiang smirked.

“N-not at all! I live in a pent-apartment-house– whatever it’s called– three blocks away-! I-i go here a-and wear your fancy clothes-!” MK said, suddenly aware he was fully surrounded.

His classmates laughed at him.

“Right,” Qiang smirked. “You can wear our clothes, come to our school, but you’re nothing but a demon spawn, Xiao-naodai.”

Wait, what?

“D-do you think Mr. Piggy is my– dad?” MK scratched his head. The bullies took a step back and looked at each other.

“Doesn’t matter. Raised by a pig, smell like a pig, get treated like a pig– and pigs belong in pens,” Qiang shoved MK back into the lockers, locks hitting his shoulder blades.

“H-hey–!” MK tried to defend himself, when two of the bigger members of the group grabbed his arms, despite MK’s desperate squirms.

“Keep squealing, little piggy, nobody’ll hear,” Qiang laughed, ripping the bandana off of MK’s head.

“N-no! Give it back-!” MK screamed, kicking the bullies legs with a sudden burst of energy that caused them to fall. MK immediately booked it to Qiang to try and snatch it, but alas, he was taller and just held it above his head.

“Woah– Look at him Qiang– he’s got a scar-!” One of the boys pointed out. MK stepped back with dread and quickly ratted his fingers through his hair to try and cover it.

“No way! How’d you get that?”

“Did you crack your head open?”

“It looks so cool-!”

Voices were now swarming MK and he wanted nothing more than to pull his ears off and go back to Pigsy’s Noodles, where everything was calm and safe and he could breathe and Mr. Piggy could compliment his drawing and give him nice food and Mr. Tang could come by and tell him stories and just–

If there was one rule MK’s parents made him follow above their fifty others, it was that he wasn’t supposed to ever, ever let anyone see his scar.

“You’ll ruin us, kid. Is that what you want? You want Mama and Baba in prison?”

“Listen to your Baba, kid. You don’t want to go to that shithole– nobody would want to adopt a punk like you anyways.”

“B-but you–”

“HA-! We thought you’d actually be useful, but now we know you’re just a cryin’ and whinin’ little shithead– so keep your mouth shut, got it kid?”

“‘Sides, your own folks clearly didn’t want ya– leaving you naked and muddy on the street– you should be grateful we took you in– and you owe us, big time.”

“O-okay–”

A slap.

“It’s ‘Yes Mama.’”

“Y-yes Mama…”

“Very good, Xiaotian. Looks like you have some brain in there after all.”

MK tried to run, but the previous bullies had recovered and grabbed him again, shoving him in a locker and clicking it shut.

“You’ll get this back when you finally get some smarts,” Qiang waved his red bandana in front of the ventilation slits.

“L-let me go-! I-i didn’t do anything-!” MK pleaded, pushing against the door, but the boys just laughed and laughed and laughed so MK just covered his ears and rocked as best he could in such a tight space until they all left and the lights went out.

O-okay MK– not something you aren’t used to– j-just gotta wade it out.

MK shook his head. He wasn’t with his parents anymore– he was with Mr. Piggy, and Mr. Piggy wouldn’t want him like this.

MK took a breath before he started throwing himself against the locker, severely bruising his arm and sides, but after twenty or so tries, the door popped right–

Off.

MK somehow managed to break the locker door so now it was only attached to the rest of the unit by the very lock that had sealed his prison.

Huh. Weird.

Once free, the motion sensor lights turned right back on, making MK almost hiss in annoyance. He shook his head, changing back into his regular uniform and going–

Where on earth could he go? He couldn’t go to class, that was certain– but he couldn’t stay here– they’d see he escaped.

MK’s breathing was becoming very troubled, and he tried shaking his hands to rid himself of the panicked feelings. He didn’t do that for long though– as the door swung open and MK immediately leapt behind a row of lockers and shoved a hand over his mouth.

“MK-? Are you in here? I’m not allowed to look so you better answer me.”

Oh thank the great sage–

“Mei!” MK ran towards his friend, pulling her into the locker room and giving her a tight hug.

“There you are– why aren’t you dressed for gym? Where were you? Qiang said something about ditching and demons which I knew was really stupid so I got permission to look for you– where’s your bandana?!” Mei gasped.

“I-i-i–” MK sniffled. “I-i need a haircut.”

Mei blinked. “Weird, but–”

“Right now.”

“...Like– now, now?”

MK nodded.

“Okay– lemme just– Oh-! I should have some scissors in my bag,” Mei snapped and grabbed MK’s hand, leading him out of the locker room and up the stairs back to their classroom– which was empty and unlocked somehow– and grabbed a bright green pair of scissors.

“C’mon– let’s go to the bathroom– they can’t find us there,” Mei grinned, taking his hand again and leading him down the winding hall to the girls bathroom, where they plopped onto the floor of the wheelchair stall.

“So– uh– you want it short, or..?” Mei asked, examining his mop of chestnut hair.

MK shrugged, and so Mei just got to cutting it as best she could with safety scissors. He could tell it wasn’t easy with how many times she snipped the same spot and growled in frustration, but she seemed to be managing, and MK was fine with that.

“You know...You never told me you had a scar,” Mei brought up the obvious after a while of silence.

“Y-yeah, I– um– I fell on some glass once,” MK half lied.

“When?” Mei furrowed her brow and snipped some more.

“I-i dunno– a while ago,” MK shrugged.

Mei hummed a little, but didn’t say much other than that so MK just listened to the soothing sounds of the scissors sliding open and closed when his stomach rumbled.

He really, really wanted to go back to Pigsy’s Noodles.

“Lunch is soon– after you cut my hair we can eat,” Mei said, moving over to cut the right side of his hair.

“O-okay,” MK agreed, nervously tracing and retracing the brim of his blazer button with his thumb, before pausing. “Wait– why am I gonna cut your hair?”

Mei shrugged, snipping a chunk out. “I don’t want it long. I want it short, like when we met.”

“Oh, okay,” MK smiled a little, glad he wouldn’t be alone in this haircut journey.

“So why were you still in the locker room and not in your gym clothes?” Mei asked yet another question.

“O-oh– well, I– um–” MK now gripped the button tight. “I– I didn’t wanna go, so I hid in a locker.”

Mei frowned, “And you didn’t wanna tell me? Your bestest friend in the whole wide world?”

“N-no, I totally did-! I just– I can’t just go into the girls locker room,”He made up an excuse.

.

“Ohhh– yeah that makes sense,” Mei snipped another chunk. “Do you still want me to keep that floppy front piece?”

MK nodded.

“Cool cool,” She said, going to the left side to trim up there. “So… what happened to your bandana?”

MK tensed. “I– um– well, it’s against the school uniform and stuff so I figured I should just… get used to it.”

“But Headmaster Jiangxi said you could,” Mei frowned.

“Y-yeah, but Qiang and the other guys convinced me to take it off.”

Mei paused a bit, before shaking her head. “I don’t like those boys. You should put it back on.”

“I– uh– left it in the changing room.”

Mei started cutting his hair again. “That sucks. Guess we’ll get it tomorrow though.”

“Y-yeah…”

Tomorrow.

Great Sage on Flower Fruit Mountain above– how on earth was he going to survive tomorrow– or the day after that, or the day after that, or the day after–

“Aaaaaaaaand I think we’re done here!” Mei grinned, admiring her work.

“Wow– my head feels a lot lighter already, thanks Mei,” MK smiled back.

“My turn!” Mei handed MK the scissors and clapped, sitting down and MK took them hesitantly.

“How short do you want it?” MK asked, examining her long raven hair that had been her parent’s pride.

Mei snorted. “You remember how short it was when we met– do it like that.”

MK laughed. “Okie-dokie.”

He quickly raised the scissors to roughly her neck level and began chopping.

“Oh-! And also give me cool layers! I saw layers in a magazine– they look so cool,” Mei added and MK laughed and nodded, having fun watching chunks and layers of dark hair fall to the bathroom ground. As per her request, he also trimmed up her bangs a little bit– though even he noticed it was a little sloppy.

Still, by the end, they scooped up all of the hair and put in the super convenient trash cans that were in girls restrooms for some reason, and examined their new haircuts in the mirror.

“Woah! I look so cool!” Mei said, excitedly swishing her short hair around.

“What can I say? I’m an artiste,” MK said with a stupid french accent that made the best friends both erupt into laughter.

“You ready for lunch?” Mei said, holding her sides and wiping a tear.

“Yeah, let’s go,” MK grinned.

.o0o.

“I’m telling you Tang, it was like an interrogation in there– he kept askin’ me about my background and people I know and offerin’ me resources for MK’s education to help him ‘catch up’-- it was nuts,” Pigsy ranted to his favorite customer.

“That sounds almost like a lawsuit,” Tang sympathized.

“Like that’s gonna happen,” Pigsy huffed, pouring the broth into Tang’s bowl of noodles and adding the thyme as a garnish.

“Gotta stay optimistic– plus, you’ve got money and a lawyer now.”

“Gatita doesn’t specialize in discrimination– she’s just a family and financial only,” Pigsy interrupted, bringing the bowl to him.

“Bah, I’m sure she knows something about that stuff– that feels like basic law school education,” Tang said as Pigsy handed him a spoon too.

Pigsy shrugged. “She’s never mentioned it this far. ‘Sides, I don’t think ‘backhanded language’ counts for a lawsuit anyhow– and he… did make some points– I don’t know– I’m not a reliable source of info,” Pigsy shook his head and continued making a different order before his phone started ringing.

“Who’s calling?” Tang asked, mouth full of noodles.

Pigsy dug his phone from his pocket, and saw it wasn’t one of his seven contacts which–

Fuck.

“It’s gotta be the school,” Pigsy sighed, setting the stove to a simmer.

“Already?” Tang looked at the clock.

Pigsy sighed, answering with a “This is Pigsy.”

“Mr. Zhu, this is Megapolis City Academy here– Mei and Xiaotian, your– uh– ‘wards-?’ are here in the office awaiting disciplinary action.”

“Disciplinary action? On the first day? What could they’ve done?” Pigsy frowned, sharing a look with Tang.

“Ah, well– I think it’s best that you come in and see for yourself. How soon can you get here?”

Pigsy sighed. “Give me forty minutes.”

“Understood. Have a good day Mr. Zhu.”

“Yeah, you too. Bye,” Pigsy sighed and hung up.

“What’d they do?” Tang asked.

“Apparently I have to ‘be there to see it’,” Pigsy massaged his forehead.

“Oh no– are they hurt?” Tang gasped, and Pigsy was immediately regretful that he didn’t ask the same thing.

“Dunno. Just said I have to see it,” He said, looking around the kitchen and the orders that still needed to be made.

It was gonna be the lunch rush in an hour, and he was going to miss it completely.

“Sorry folks– the restaurant's closing. You can either come back after I reopen, or get your refunds now,” Pigsy announced to the handful of customers, who all looked at each other with confusion.

With a lot of grumbles and gripes some left, whereas others got their refunds and Pigsy saw them all out– except for Tang, who said he’d watch the place.

“And that should be all of ‘em,” Pigsy sighed, tossing the orders that got refunds into his waste bin. “Guess I gotta get going then.”

Tang grabbed his arm before he left though. “Don’t stress yourself too hard, alright? I’m sure whatever they did can’t be all that bad, right?”

“Right– right, you’re probably right,” Pigsy chuckled and headed out.

.o0o.

Tang was not right.

Pigsy didn’t know what he expected when he re-entered the headmaster’s office for the second time that day, but it certainly wasn’t this.

MK and Mei’s hair both looked like it was cut by a blind monkey– especially Mei, who had so many uneven layers Pigsy had to wonder how on earth such a thing could even happen.

But then he noticed Mei had a black eye and bruised fists, and that MK couldn’t lift his eyes from the floor, and was missing his bandana.

Now this was serious.

“Xiaotian? Mei? Would either of you like to explain to your guardian what happened in the cafeteria today?” Headmaster Jiangxi looked disapprovingly upon the kids, which made his blood boil as he took his seat in the middle chair.

“Wouldn’t’ve started if Qiang didn’t take MK’s bandana,” Mei crossed her arms.

“Young lady, that is not appropriate behavior,” The principal scolded.

“Hey– don’t antagonize ‘em– just tell me what happened– what happened with MK’s bandana?” Pigsy stood up for Mei.

Headmaster Jiangxi sighed. “Your wards here started a fist fight in the cafeteria over another student taking Xiaotian’s bandana in the locker room during gym– and also cut their hair in the school bathroom when they were also supposed to be in gym.”

“Yeah, I can see that they cut their hair– but why did this happen? And where’s this Qiang kid– is he gettin’ punished?” Pigsy huffed and looked around.

“Mr. Zhu, this is a serious offense of school policy,” the headmaster raised his voice.

“And stealing isn’t?” Pigsy crossed his arms.

“Well– yes, but we have a zero tolerance policy for bullying, Mr. Zhu.”

“But they were bullying MK-! He was so scared he kept lying to me– me, his bestest friend-! It was only when Qiang started waving his bandana around at the cafeteria and started teasing him from away that I knew what happened! I bet that’s why MK missed gym too! I bet they shoved him in a locker– oooooh those boys–” Mei’s eyes were flickering to emerald green and Pigsy quickly placed a hand on her shoulder to calm her before giving the principal a look.

“Miss Long, we know this, but this is also not your first instance of threatening to hurt these boys,” He warned.

Mei slumped in her chair and crossed her arms. “It’s what they deserve, the jerks,” she mumbled.

“Mei– maybe now’s not the best time for that kind of talk,” Pigsy warned and Mei sighed more, but thankfully kept quiet.

The principal huffed. “Xiaotian? Do you have anything you’d like to say?”

MK didn’t look up, didn’t talk, didn’t move– hell, it didn’t look like he was breathing.

“Well then, if you two would like to step out, I need to talk to your guardian alone,” He looked coldly at Pigsy.

Yay, more of that.

Mei left so huffy Pigsy could practically see the smoke coming out of her nose, whereas MK moved like a hybrid zombie and fawn– terrified but exhausted.

“You know, there was a phrase you used this very morning– ah– yes, ‘they couldn’t hurt a fly even if they wanted to’ – well now, isn't this something then, Mr. Zhu,” The headmaster gave Pigsy a look.

“Oh please– defending yourself and your friends from punk bullies is different than hurting flies,” Pigsy glared at the principal.

“I never said it wasn’t, Mr. Zhu, I’m just saying that you were wrong about your wards and they must face disciplinary action,” He sighed and pulled out green forms.

“So kids can’t stand up for themselves or their friends? What kind of school are you runnin’ here?” Pigsy bit.

“The best in all of Megapolis, Mr. Zhu– and the academy that I’m well aware was Mr. and Mrs. Long’s final wishes for their daughter– and Xiaotian– to attend,” He folded his hands on his desk.

Pigsy hated that the man had a point.

“Look, out of respect for Mr. and Mrs. Long and their family legacy, we won’t expel Mei. However, there must be heavy disciplinary action at home, and she will be given correctional homework on top of her regular schoolwork to ensure her mindset changes so we don’t have another repeat of this– as well as a one-day suspension,” He showed Pigsy the papers, but the demon shook his head.

“A suspension? The kids just lost their parents– surely you can get that emotions are a little on the fritz right now– I’m sure I can just talk to her and that’ll reason her enough– ‘sides MK’s never been here, he needs her,” Pigsy reasoned.

The principal took a deep breath. “Mr. Zhu, forgive me, but since you’re… new to all of this, and your background into account, we need to be certain that the children will be disciplined… properly.”

Pigsy’s hands clenched into fists but the demon bit his tongue.

“Xiaotian will face no consequences, as he had very little to do with the fight, and would be given our standard guide for his classes– though do know we will be charging you for expenses brought to the locker and lunch tables– and it’s also entirely possible Qiang’s parents will choose to press charges for the assault. Also the children’s hair will need to be fixed to apply to the school’s dress code,” He said matter-of-factly.

Pigsy ran a hand across his bald head before slowly nodding with a sigh. “Yeah, that makes enough sense– but how’s that Qiang kid gettin’ punished?” Pigsy asked.

“Similarly, including suspension– which is taking into account his broken nose.”

“Broken nose, eh?” Pigsy hid a smirk of pride.

“Yes. Say what you will, but that girl can pack quite the punch.”

“I don’t doubt it– dragon genes, and all,” Pigsy shrugged to himself.

“Yes… that, among other things,” Headmaster Jiangxi typed something into his computer.

Pigsy frowned. “I’ve had them for less than a week– and you said it wasn’t her first time yourself.”

“Yes, yes, I’m aware,” The principal eyed him. “I didn’t mention you, did I?”

Pigsy just scoffed.

“Look, Mr. Zhu, I’m going to be honest, really honest with you, if I may,” He tilted his computer away to let the demon know he was serious. Pigsy braced himself and nodded.

“You may think your situation is stable– that it was on the very will of Mr. and Mrs. Long– which of course is true. However, I guarantee you, the moment you or the children step just a bit too far past the line, this whole plan will fall apart. There’d be an investigation in which your past and present would be scrutinized to oblivion and you’dbe found an improper guardian figure. With your guardianship evaporated, Mei would then be placed with the rest of her family in the east sea, and Xiaotian into the regular foster system. Is that something that sounds like you or the children want to happen?”

Pigsy tensed.

“You’re a smart demon, Mr. Zhu, I can see that. What’s important is that you use your smarts over your heart. This society is not built for your kind, and you will have to prove yourself at every single turn, so can I trust you to take this matter and discipline seriously?” the headmaster raised an eyebrow.

“Can I trust you to judge these situations fairly?” Pigsy copied the gesture.

“I can only do so much, Mr. Zhu, but I will try my best– they do seem to be rather fond of you and all, and a child should only go through so much loss,” he sighed.

Pigsy blinked, not expecting to hear that.

“Can the kid have his bandana back?” Pigsy shifted subjects.

The headmaster slowly nodded, reaching in a drawer and pulling out the familiar red cloth. “In normal circumstances, this would simply be confiscated and not allowed on grounds for good, but seeing as the boy has a scar, we’ll allow an exception to the rules this once.”

A scar?

“Well that good, I guess…” Pigsy took the bandana and stroked it with his thumb.

“So Mr. Zhu, are we in agreement here?” The principal brought him back on track.

“Right– yeah, you have my word– I’ll talk to the kid– just– give them some time. They’re grievin’ still,” Pigsy proposed.

“I’ll do what I can, Mr. Zhu, so long as you do the same,” Headmaster Jiangxi stood.

“Yeah… makes enough sense,” Pigsy stood as well.

The men shook on the agreement, and Pigsy was free to head back to the restaurant.

Pigsy stepped out of the office, taking a good look at MK and Mei, both slumped over in the chairs and silent as ghosts.

Man, he did not like this– it was eerie, almost. They oughtta be laughing or goofing or getting into fun trouble– not fights or ‘disciplinary action’ or whatever.

They couldn’t end up like him. They deserved so much better.

“C’mon kiddos– let’s get going,” Pigsy sighed, getting MK and Mei’s attention and the trio headed out.

They made their entire way out the building, down the subway, off the subway, up the stairs, and back to the restaurant without so much as a word until Pigsy unlocked the security shield and let them in and Tang broke their silence.

“Oh my stars– what happened? Are you two alright?” The scholar gasped at the sight of them.

“Some stupid jerk faces stole MK’s bandana so I beat ‘em up,” Mei said flatly as she sat on the stool next to him at the bar.

“Did they cut your hair too?!” Tang looked at her fresh “layered bob”.

“Nope, MK said he wanted a haircut so I cut his hair then he cut mine in the girls bathroom,” Mei rested her elbows on the bar.

“You’re… quite the hairstylist, MK,” Tang smiled at the boy but his eyes were still glued to the ground.

Tang and Pigsy shared a glance.

“Hey MK– I need help with somethin’ in the back, wanna help?” Pigsy asked, and the boy hesitated, but nodded.

Again Tang and Pigsy shared a look.

“Alright– you stay there Mei– get some work done,” Pigsy instructed, and with an eye roll she got out her work.

“I’ll make sure she gets it done,” Tang mouthed and Pigsy silently thanked him before guiding MK to the back.

“W-what do you need?” MK asked once Pigsy turned on the light. Pigsy took his hand and guided him to the folding table and chairs, and gestured for him to sit, which again MK hesitated to do but obeyed.

“Are you feeling okay? Today sounded like a lot,” Pigsy said, leaning forward in his chair.

“I-i’m okay, Mr. Pigsy,” MK did that nervous laugh thing he did when he lied. Plus he actually called him Pigsy, which was a huge red flag.

“Kid, it’s okay to be scared of that kind of sh– stuff– kids can be real jerks and you can tell me all about it, it’s fine by me,” Pigsy assured him.

“I-i-i dunno,” MK looked down at the ground, his fingers running through his much shorter hair- revealing a– the scar, and wowza it looked really bad– when– how–

One thing at a time Pigsy.

“What’d they do to you? I wanna know so I can make sure we keep track of this punk if he ever tries to start anythin’ again,” Pigsy explained.

“W-well, it was in the locker room, so the only time Mei wasn’t with me, a-and him and his friends surrounded me, started calling be stupid and Xiao-naodai instead of Xiaotian– a-and they started calling me a– a pig too,” MK glanced nervously at his guardian.

Pigsy took a breath.

He knew this would happen– that the kids would learn how the world thought about him and his kind. He just hoped that maybe it wouldn’t happen for a year or two.

“I’m sorry kid,” Pigsy placed a hand on his shoulder.

“A-after I said you aren’t my dad–”

MK said that with no ill intent, of course– especially because it was fact, but Pigsy couldn’t help but feel strange when he said that out loud–

“ –’nd they said that I-I’m being raised by one so I should be treated like one a-and they threw me in a locker a-and took my bandana u-u-until I got some smarts,” MK was starting to tear up, so Pigsy handed him a tissue and allowed MK to cry a bit.

Pigsy waited until MK seemed to be calming before asking what happened after that.

“W-well Mei helped and cut my hair s-since it was bothering me– cuz he called me ‘haircut’ a-and it made me look ‘poor’ or whatever– but at lunch– he was waving my bandana around w-with pride and talkin’ about how i-it was his and then started sayin’ things about– well– y-you, which made me mad a-and made me cry, and that got Mei really mad– and they started shouting, a-and then he said somethin’ like ‘That half-wit demon pig spawn’ which was when Mei threw the first punch a-and it just got crazy from there,” MK sniffled and wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

Pigsy sat back a second to take that all in.

They basically got into that fight because of him.

…He really was gonna have to come up with a good talk for them, wasn’t he?

“I’m so sorry that happened, kiddo,” Pigsy placed a hand on his shoulder, which MK winced at.

“Ah– sorry– that hurt?” Pigsy quickly asked. MK nodded. “Did they hurt you?”

“O-oh– um– well, it was mostly me since I had to bust open the locker and stuff,” MK shrugged like it was weird but no biggie, whereas Pigsy wondered how the fuck a kid that small and scrawny was able to bust open a locker.

“I see,” The chef didn’t acknowledge that. “We can get some ice for it, if you want.”

“N-no, I’m okay– the school nurse helped me– she was really nice,” MK sniffled and wiped his eyes.

“Alright,” Pigsy nodded once before looking back at his hair and that scar.

Maybe it was too far– maybe it was nothing at all, but Pigsy hadn’t seen it before and had to ask.

“So– I hope this isn’t too personal or somethin– but do you want to tell me where you got that big old scar on your forehead?” Pigsy asked as gently as he could, but it still made panic enter MK’s eyes.

“I-i fell on glass like– over a year ago– i-it cut deep, but my parents took me to the ER right away because that’s what they’re supposed to– i-it’s nothing really– nothing at all,” MK forced a weak smile, but tears started flowing fast again.

“Kid, you don’t have to lie to me. I won’t get mad, and I won’t tell anyone, okay?” Pigsy touched his hand and stroked it with his thumb.

“W-well, i-i-it’s nothing, so it’s fine– everything’s fine– they’re dead and gone anyways s-so– you know– can’t go to prison and take me away if you’re dead, haha,” MK joked.

“Are you talking about your parents? Did they do that to you?” Pigsy tried to mask his anger for the sake of MK, but he knew he was doing a shit job.

“I-i– yes-? I-i mean, it’s my fault– I should’ve– I knew the rules, a-and I just– th-they said I can’t ever tell anyone– ever o-or else–”

“Or else what, MK?” Pigsy’s heart was sinking.

“Th-they told m-me I’d get taken– th-that they’d go to prison s-so I couldn’t– b-but they’re dead n-now– no harm, right?” MK laughed a little, two tears streaming quickly down his face, which he wiped with his sleeve.

“Yeah, they’re dead, so you can tell me anythin’ about them that you want to,” Pigsy assured, his voice soft and low. MK nodded, glancing at the tissues so Pigsy handed him the box.

“Well one night h-they were arguing in the living room like they did a lot, a-and it was really late, b-but I hadn’t had dinner, so I– you know– I wanted food, b-but it was against the rules– ‘no downstairs after five’, b-but I really was hungry– a-and I had a system– Crawl on hands and knees past their bedroom, put most body weight on hand rail and avoid the last step– that last step– I was supposed to pay attention to that last step– I always knew– I-i-i–” MK buried his head in hands, so Pigsy picked him up and held him in his lap.

“M-m-mama was d-d-drinkin’-- she drank a lot, y’know?– a-a-nd sh-she saw me a-and just started yellin’ – I-i went to go b-back to my room upstairs, b-but she threw the bottle a-at me a-and– a-and it hit m-me a-and the shards too– a-and I just bled a-and bled– a-and it hurt, Mr. Piggy, it hurt so much,” MK shook his head furiously, crumpling his tissue and burying his head into Pigsy’s chest.

PIgsy held MK as tight as he could, sorrow and indignation filling his heart.

Burning in an apartment fire wasn’t enough punishment for those monsters. They deserved to have their heads bashed in– get crushed by a mountain– be decapitated– have dogs from hell rise and eat their flesh– anything that would make them feel a fraction of the pain they had clearly caused MK.

“I’m so sorry kiddo,” Pigsy rocked ever so slightly, wishing it were possible to take away all of his pain and sorrow and make MK as happy as he so often pretended to be.

“Th-th-they s-sa-id that I-i should be grateful, Mr. Piggy– t-that even my folks d-d-didn’t want m-me– that th-they found me on the st–street, a-and that nobody’d want me– a-and I believed ‘em– i did, I did– I was so grateful, Mr. Piggy,” MK confessed more, which confused the demon.

“Wait– were your folks… not your folks?” Pigsy asked, not breaking the embrace.

MK shook his head. “Th-they found me on the street– n-not too far from here actually, accordin’ to ‘em, ha,” MK looked up at Pigsy and laughed a little pathetically, but Pigsy couldn’t hide his horror.

“How… how old were you?” The chef asked.

MK shrugged. “T-they assumed a year. Said I didn’t talk much, but that helped ‘em with their plans more.”

Jesus fucking christ…

“Oh MK, I’m so, so, so so sorry,” Pigsy wiped a tear from the boy’s cheek, despite the fact a few were rolling down his own now.

“S’okay– th-they’re gone now like you said– right?” MK smiled weakly.

“Yeah kid, they’re gone,” Pigsy smiled a little too and MK hugged him tightly.

Pigsy embraced the boy just as tight– deeply angered by just how skin and bone he was. If his “parents” weren’t already burning in hell, Pigsy would’ve called Sandy up and they would’ve destroyed them together to make sure MK never, ever had to suffer or think of them again.

If anything– Pigsy wished most of all that he could go back in time and find the kid long before those two assholes ever did– then it would’ve been him and MK and his noodles– maybe even his grandmother too. Just them together in noodle bliss.

After a long time of hugging and MK crying, he croaked out a soft, “i-is Mei in trouble?”

Pigsy slowly nodded, “Yeah– but just a one day suspension to ‘clear her head’ or whatever that packet said.”

“O-oh, okay– what about me?” MK then asked.

“You’re alright, kiddo– though you’re still gonna have to go to school tomorrow…” Pigsy sighed.

“B-but I don’t wanna go without Mei,” MK broke the hug and protested.

“I know, I know– they said they’d pair you up with someone else though– and hopefully they’d move yours and Mei’s desk– plus that Qiang kid is also suspended, so that’s also good news, right?” Pigsy tried to put an optimistic spin on things, but was unsure how well it worked since Tang was always better at that.

“O-okay. I guess that’s okay,” MK nodded slowly.

“I’m glad you’re willing to give it a shot, kid. Proud of you,” Pigsy put a hand on his shoulder.

MK blinked with wide eyes. “R-really?”

“Totally kid! Takes guts to want to go back by yourself,” Pigsy punched his non-bruised arm lightly.

“Wow– thanks Mr. Piggy,” MK beamed, which filled Pigsy with instant relief comparable to cigarettes.

“No problem, kid,” Pigsy smiled. “Now, before I make you start homework, is there anything else I need to know about school or parents or whatnot?” Pigsy asked.

MK sniffled and thought for a moment.

“I-I’m… kinda bad at math,” the boy confessed.

“I can help you with that kid– and even if I can’t, I’m sure Mr. Tang can too,” the chef assured.

“Thanks– I ‘ppreciate it,” MK sniffled and punched Pigsy’s own arm lightly.

“Anytime, kid– and I mean that; anytime you need to tell me somethin’, just say the word, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Attaboy,” Pigsy punched MK’s arm lightly again. “You feelin’ any better?”

“Y-yeah, a little,” MK chuckled, punching Pigsy again.

“Good,” Pigsy punched his arm again before they both laughed, and Pigsy ruffled MK’s hair before slightly cringing at how terribly uneven it was.

“Oh– before I forget–” Pigsy dug into his pocket and got out the kid’s bandana, which he took like it was the last lifeboat on the titanic.

“Thankyouthankyouthankyou, Mr. Piggy– I missed it so much,” he said, tying around his head- which surprisingly made his terrible haircut look a little better.

“Anytime MK,” The pig demon smiled softly, before he had a different thought that made his face fall flat.

“‘Sides I’m just glad your hair has a simple solution, cuz now I gotta figure out how the heck I’m gonna style Mei’s hair to be ‘school appropriate’ without just shaving her head, or giving her more of a ‘boys cut’ – which girls can’t have because gender binary or whatever,” Pigsy dreaded, which again made MK laugh.

“You’ll figure somethin’ out, Mr. Piggy, I’m sure of it,” MK gave the demon a thumbs up.

“Yeah, I probably will kid.”

And figure it out Pigsy did. Once the restaurant closed, he made Mei sit down on the couch at their apartment until he could figure out how to get the misshapen “bob” into either pigtails or ponytails. After many attempts, he discovered that if he just took the thick but really short parts of her hair, he could put them into high pigtails, and while it still left most of her hair down, it was probably the best they were going to get. Besides, Mei absolutely loved it, and said she was going to wear her hair like that forever, so that was good at least. Pigsy hadn’t ever thought of himself as a hairstylist and was glad that his first attempt worked out.

After that, Pigsy let the kids put on another movie, this one about a little fish girl wanting to be human and liking ham or something like that, where the exact same sequence of events happened from the previous night, passing out on the couch and all, but Pigsy had no qualms with that.

No, the kids had been through enough today– heck– they’d been through enough for life, so Pigsy would let things be a little chaotic for them tomorrow if that meant they could have some peace for today.

Besides, Pigsy had quite a few difficult conversations coming up– especially with Mei, especially tomorrow– and he needed time to mentally prepare too.

Ah, the joys of guardianship.

[beingbigbrother]

Week 1 Writeup: Big Brother feels like Big Brother again

▲ Dark days are over

Nearly five years since Big Brother UK's second "last ever" episode, the all-seeing eye returned to our screens on Sunday.

I loved - loved - Big Brother back in the Channel 4 days. Even in its darkest days (Big Brothers 8 thru 10), a properly good season was never far away (Big Brother Celebrity Hijack, Celebrity Big Brother 6, Big Brother 11).

And then Channel 5 happened to Big Brother.

The only two Channel 5 seasons I managed to get through were Big Brother 15 and Celebrity Big Brother 15, both of which were pure poison. The other ones I tried just bored me.

I've been watching Big Brother 19 - Channel 5's final season - in the run-up to ITV's reboot, and I have to admit it's a diamond in the rough. So it bodes well for this year's revival that much of the BB19 creative team is also working on BB20.

The good

There's a lot I like about this year's season.

The outdoor set is - well, it's a bit of silver MDF and a fog machine really, isn't it - but it still trumps pretty much all of Channel 4's efforts. And the House itself still blows my mind - considering this is ostensibly "just" ITV dipping its toes into the BB pool, with a six-week run on a free-to-air digital channel.

The casting is great, somehow managing to push the feelgood wokeness of BB19 even further with one of our most diverse groups of Housemates ever. Speaking of casting, one of the new hosts is great, too (AJ).

But the absolute greatest change is that the Live Stream is back for the first time in a decade! It's not on 24/7 - you'd have to go back to the Channel 4 days for that - but 23 hours a week is a big step in the right direction, and shows ITV at least has the right idea about Big Brother.

It feels so good unwinding with the Live Stream every evening, and I feel like I'm getting to know these Housemates so much better because of it. Big Brother finally feels like Big Brother again!

And, as I said before: this is ITV's inaugural toe-dipping season, so who knows what will happen in the future.

The bad

It's not all sunshine and rainbows, mind you.

What the fuck was up with those nominations, Big Brother?! They took place on Thursday, so we had to wait till Thursday's Big Brother Late & Live to find out who was up.

That gave viewers one measly day to cast their votes. For casual viewers, who aren't interested in BBLL, it would've meant finding out who was nominated, who nominated who, and who was evicted - all in the same, roughly one-hour episode.

It's quite frankly broken, and I really hope it changes in Big Brother 21. I didn't love each Housemate only giving one nomination, either - it means the obvious troublemakers will be up every week (which is exactly what happened this time) and we may well end up with bland Housemates in the final.

Presumably they've done it to try to speed things up in the highlights show - but they should probably have just copied BB11's editing, which made nominations the best they've ever been on BBUK.

Oh, and, to follow up on my earlier point: one of the new hosts is, um, not great (not AJ).

The ugly

Let me just finish off by saying the new opening titles, theme tune, and motion graphics are - frankly - rancid. There's the ghost of a good idea in there somewhere, but unfortunately it's almost impossible to make out behind multiple layers of inexplicable film grain(???) and "Free Glitch Effect Premiere Pro Beginner" google searches. 🤢

[jadejedi]

Fantasy Book Review: The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

JJ’s rating: 4/5 

How feral did it make me: 2.5/5

My book reviews

I read Priory of the Orange Tree early this year based on the pitch “sapphic stand-alone fantasy with dragons” and it definitely checks all of those boxes. The world building is rich and immersive; sometimes it feels like an author is just throwing out random names of places without anything behind them, but you do not feel that with this book. The romance, though not the main point of the book, is well written and easy to root for. The characters are all great (even Niclays! Fight me!), and the story and mythology are engaging. 

A quick summary: in this retelling of St. George and the Dragon, Queen Sabran of Inys must marry and bear a daughter to keep an ancient evil dragon from returning. A secret magical organization from the South doesn’t believe that Sabran is actually the force holding back the dragon, but they have sent the spy Ead Duryan, to protect her just in case. She gets promoted to lady-in-waiting and grows close to the Queen. In the East, Tané trains to ride a dragon for her nation’s army, and exiled alchemist Niclays Roos, who is totally 100% doing FINE, searches for a way to restore his good name. Also, good bean Arteloth Beck who has also been banished from court, sets off on a quest (it’s been a few months and tbh I’m a bit hazy on the details). 

The main flaw of this book, in my opinion, is that it is a bit slow in the beginning. And when the book is 252,000 words (roughly 900 pages), the beginning lasts a LONG time. I listened to it on audio book, and out of a 25 hour book (at normal listening speed), it took me at least 5-6 hours to really get into it. But, I think it is definitely worth pushing through, because when it does eventually pick up, it does not let up. The different threads of the four different POV’s start to really interconnect and draw closer and closer until they all meet during the climax of the book in a very satisfying battle. 

Ead, as the primary protagonist, is absolutely wonderful. She is stubborn and unyielding, and clings desperately to her beliefs and principles while in a foreign land. The relationship between Sabran, a queen believed to be a holy, mystical figure, and Ead, a magician from a group that doesn’t really quite believe in Sabran’s divinity, is delicious. 

This book is definitely a fantasy story with some romance sprinkled on top, so if you are looking for more of a romance heavy story this might not be for you, but there is definitely a reason this one is so popular. It is high fantasy done extremely well, in my opinion. The way the world building and the plot perfectly intertwines is *chef’s kiss*. 

If you like slow-burn sapphic romance, examinations of chosen one narratives, dragon riders destined for greatness, and asshole alcoholics, then this one's for you. Also if you just like pretty books on your shelf, because the cover of this one is SO SO PRETTY. 

[zarathesilentgamer]

Top 6 Games I Played 2022

It was going to be a top 5 of the year but I knew I had to put Kena on the list as well.

6. Kena: Bridge of Spirits -

Kena is a fun, cute but at times powerfully sad game about helping troubled spirits move on and, trying to stop the growing threat spreading through the land. Highly recommend checking it out.

5. Wavetale -

An environmental message wrapped up in high intensity water surfing, like Jesus. If you were put off by Wavetale being on stadia, it has now come to steam and certain consoles with plans to expand it’s reach and honestly, it deserves to. Roughly 4 hours of game time, and I’m more than happy to replay this game again in the future.

4. Spyro The Dragon (Reignited Trilogy) -

With the exception of Tree Tops which can suck an egg, I adore Spyro The Dragon. While it wasn’t my first introduction to Spyro, (spyro: year of the dragon on the ps1) it’s always a pleasure to come back to and Toys For Bob did the purple dragon proud. More than worth your time and money.

3. Kirby and the Forgotten Lands -

Kirby and the Forgotten Lands was a much anticipated breath of fresh air for the Kirby franchise. And the first Kirby game I played and 100% everything. All the levels, all the Waddle Dees, all the collectables. This game is an adorable package of fun, cuteness and at times gripping action. If you haven’t already, check it out. I can easily see this becoming a nintendo classic.

2. Cult of the Lamb -

Cult of the Lamb is fun and reminds me of issac in it’s gameplay but I would say a bit more heavy feeling. Create a cult in the name of The One Who Waits and take on the 4 bishops of the old faith and fulfill your destiny. Or marry your favorite cultist and feed poop to your least favorite as a prank. Poop, marriage and sacrifice - Cult of the Lamb. No but is honesty, this game is so much silly fun (I must have played in at least 8+ time since digital release). But my main reason it’s not in my #1 spot is that bloody hammer. I can’t stand having to slowly slam it into vacant earth because in the time it took to swing it, the enemy had already moved. But honestly, that’s my only main issues, everything else solid gold.

1. Stray -

Stray is everything I was expecting and more. All I wanted was to play an adorable kitty trying to make their way home and I got that and an emotional knife to the ribs at the same time. Reuniting Doc and his son, rescuing Clementine and of course  B12 (Yes, I cried). I don’t go out of my way to buy physical copies of games but when I do it’s because the game did something for me that I can’t get from any other game. And Stray is easily one of those games for me. If you haven’t already, make sure Stray is on top of your to play pile.

[mourningcrypt]

Funeral Friday: President Lincoln’s funeral process 

When the 16th President of the United States passed away on April 15, 1865 after an assassination the country went into mourning. His funeral, procession and burial was a three week long event, with his coffin being seen by millions of Americans.

Firstly, Lincoln was embalmed, which in doing so made him the first public figure to be embalmed as it was a newer concept mainly used on the soldiers during the civil war. After this, his casket was lying in state in D.C on April 18th and 19th, in the east room of the Whitehouse where hundreds flocked to say their goodbyes. His wife, First Lady Mary Todd Lincoln was too grief stricken to attend the services. Next, The casket was taken to the Capitol Rotunda on the 20th for a prayer service for his cabinet men. 

After, on April 21 at seven in the morning, the casket would arrive at the train station for Lincoln’s “Funeral Train” from Washington to Illinois, passing through 7 states along the way, with its final stop at the cemetery where he would be laid to rest. This was the first funeral procession of its kind, with millions being able to pay respects and mourn as the casket passed. This was a multi car train that held multiple guests- friends, family and officials. The train ride took from April 21st to May 4th.

The first stop was in Baltimore, Maryland on April 21st at the Merchant’s Exchange Building- where 10,000 people showed to pay their respects. The viewing was from noon to 2pm, and all businesses would be closed for those two hours giving everyone an opportunity to say their goodbyes. The train would depart at 3pm and make way to the next city, arriving at 8:30pm

In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania at the State Capitol there was actually two viewings, one on the 21st until midnight, the next day on the 22nd from 7am until 9am. Here a total of 40,000 people would bear the rain for a viewing.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania was the next stop, arriving on the 22nd at 4:50pm. The viewing would be in Independence Hall, and inside the same room the Declaration of Independence was signed in 1776. 300,00 would show up for this, waiting several hours though some would not even make it inside the building to see the casket. And, for this part, there was also a private viewing on top of the public viewing. the private viewing took place at 10 pm on the 23rd til 1pm on the 24th, and then the public was at 6am on the 23rd until 1:17am on the 24th.

Onto New York City, where the train arrived on April 24th- then the casket made way to the City hall, with the viewing from 1pm on the 24th until 11:40am on the 25th. A total of 1,000,000 would attend this viewing- and a then 6 year old Theodore Roosevelt watched from the window of his grandfathers house as the procession passed by on its way to the hall.

Arriving next in Albany, New York on the 25th at 10:55pm, the viewing was at the Old Capitol where a total of 60,000 viewed the casket from 1:15am to 2 pm. About 4,000 people would come every hour during the viewing.

Next was Buffalo, New York. Here the viewing was from 10:30 am to 8pm at St. James Hall. A grand total of 100,000 would attend. The train would then depart at 10pm to the next station and city.

Cleveland Ohio would be the next stop for the funeral train, arriving at Euclid Street train station on April 28th at around 7am. Then, the casket would be placed at Public Square in an outdoor pavilion for viewing from 10:30am to 10pm with an overall turnout of 150,000 coming to pay respects. 

Moving onto Columbus, Ohio an April 29th- here a total of 100,00 would flock to the Statehouse for the viewing which took place from 9:30am to 6pm. Many would travel from the different countrysides around Ohio, as well as Kentucky. 

The following day on April 30 in Indianapolis, Indiana- even rain couldn’t keep away the roughly 100,000 that would show up for the viewing at the state’s Capitol building. This was a bit sentimental for Lincoln history, as it’s where he spent a lot of his childhood.

Chicago, Illinois was the next stop, where 125,00 attendees viewed the remains at the Old Chicago Courthouse. This viewing began on May 1st at 5pm, and ended on may 2nd at 8pm. After the viewing, a procession by torchlight led Lincoln back to the train, where it went on to its final stop.

Arriving at 9am on May 3rd in Springfield, Illinois- here only 75,000 where there to view the former president at the Representative Hall at the states capitol. This was considered Lincoln’s hometown, so many mourners in attendance where former neighbors, colleagues and others that have knew him a bit more personally.

When it came time for burial, Lincoln was entombed in Oak Ridge Cemetery in Springfield, Illinois on May 4 1865. Over time, his remains would be moved 17 times between 1865-1901 and his coffin would be open 5 times. In 1876 there was even an attempted theft of the casket, though the plan was not fulfilled.

Sources: Lincoln's Funeral, Abraham Lincoln's Funeral Train, Funeral Train Route, Abraham Lincoln Funeral, The Lincoln Funeral Train

[yanankim]

Pentagon as banned tumblr tags

[smaptain-smerica]

Female Reader x Rooster

Time: Post-Top gun: Maverick

Y/n Blackwood - L/n, daughter of Charlotte "Charlie" Blackwood. Y/n took a strong interest in planes from a young age. Knowing her father was an esteemed pilot drew her even further into the navy. Quickly, she became one of the best solo pilots and graduating at the top of her class at Top Gun.

Her next mission? Return to Top Gun, Face certain death, romantic interests, and finally, her thought-to-be-dead, father.

This book contains strong language and sexual content that may be sensitive readers under the age of 18

This story was originally posted on Wattpad, follow me on there for faster updates. I have published a non-binary version of this story published there for those who do not identify as female or use she/her pronouns. It will follow the exact same story line. Link to Wattpad Account Link to the Non-Binary version

Master list

Secrets Don't Make Friends

The sun had gone down and it was roughly 10:30 pm when I opened the door back to the pilots sleeping areas. I made sure to stay silent on my way to my room, opening the door and shutting it behind me. I leaned on the doorway for a moment, reveling in the memories of tonight. Something in my heart felt lighter, happier.

I pushed off the door, coming around the corner from the door nook and noticing a large figure sitting in the chair of my desk. I nearly jumped out of my skin, gasping in surprise.

"Jeez Jake you scared the shit out of me." I let out a large breath of relief as I flipped the lights on. I noticed he had a stuffed animal in his hands. He lifted it up and looked at me through his brow.

"This is adorable."

"Give me that!" I demanded, snatching the stuffed wolf from his hands and bringing it closer to my body protectively.

"Don't touch him." I grumbled, gently tossing the animal onto my bed.

Hangman chuckled and shook his head at me. "I didn't take you for the stuffed animal type."

"My mom gave it to me, so forgive me for wanting to keep it." I snapped back at him. That shut him up quick, clearing his throat and swiveling back and forth awkwardly in the chair.

I sat down on my bed facing Hangman, crossing my arms over my chest. "Did you come in here to rummage through my things or is there another reason you're being a total creep." I asked sassily, tilting my head to the side to wait for him to answer.

"Rooster."

I rolled my eyes, flopping back on my bed dramatically. "Really, this?"

"Yes this, I'm worried."

"What is there to be worried about? Bradley wouldn't hurt a fly."

"There's a reason he doesn't have a girlfriend y/n. Or that he isn't engaged or married by now and he's almost 40."

I furrowed my eyebrows together in confusion, sitting back up in my bed and looking at him. I leaned my elbows on my knees. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Hangman grunted as he shifted his sitting position to the same as me, looking at me. I saw something in his eyes; Genuine concern. This made my heart beat faster, worry starting to cascade over me. "Bradley's last relationship ended very poorly. He had dated this girl for three years. Proposed to her and everything. They were engaged for a little over 6 months. And then the night before the wedding, he vanished. Blocked her number, her family, anyone who had any contact with her and he left. I don't know where he went but I'm assuming that's how he ended up here."

My heart dropped hearing this story. It was almost unbelievable, it didn't sound like Bradley at all. It didn't, seem to me at least, that he was that kind of person. "How do you know this?"

"Believe it or not I was invited. I got a call 4 hours before that the wedding was called off. A mutual friend of ours was a groomsman and he told me the rest of the information."

I stared at hangman, processing the information I was hearing very carefully. "How do I know you're not lying to me."

"Have I ever lied to you?"

"You've always had it out for me since Top Gun."

"Yeah I've pushed your buttons but have I ever lied to you?"

I sat in shocked silence. I didn't want him to be right, but he was. I can't think of a time where he has lied to me about something. My emotions were conflicted, I felt my heart torn between what to believe. Before I could say anything else, Hangman slapped his hands on his knees and pushed off to stand up.

"Listen, I just want you to know what you're signing up for." Hangman walked towards the door and opened it. He paused, turning his head over his shoulder to take one last look at me.

"I'd hate for anything bad to happen to you Wolf. Really, it would kill me."

The door closed gently. I blinked slowly, astonished by the interaction that I just had. I huffed, completely over the situation already. I would worry about it tomorrow, for now, I would sleep.

•••

The next day for our lesson we went over yesterdays flying records. 3D models on the computer appeared of each of the different scrimmages that we did with each other.

I chose to sit in the very back, as far away from other people as possible. I didn't feel like dealing with emotions right now. Not other peoples anyway, just my own. I flipped my pen around my fingers, taking down any notes that might be useful for the future.

Honestly, I had been completely zoned out. It felt like lectures back in school. Maverick had been talking for almost an hour now and we were hardly through the first half of the exercises.

I stared at the paper aimlessly, watching the lines blur and un-blur as I messed with my vision.

"Wolf." Mavericks voice brought me back to reality. I raised my eyebrows in surprise and stared at Maverick. I looked down at the rest of the aviators, who were looking at me.

"You've been quiet. Tell me your input." I licked my lips, looking down at my paper. I clicked my pen closed while holding it up by my head.

"Coyote needs better awareness of his surroundings, flys better with a wingman. Bob is too timid and sometimes makes Phoenix second guess herself. Rooster needs more confidence, Hangman needs less confidence. And Fanboy and Payback should take time to practice new maneuvers, they're too predictable."

The silence in the room laid over everyone like a weighted blanket. I clicked my pen one more time, bringing my hand down towards the paper more. Maverick crossed his arms over his chest, shifting his weight to one leg.

"What about you?"

I bounced my leg up and down, thinking of what to say. Nobody is a worse critic than yourself. I opened my mouth to speak but another voice sounded from the crowd.

"She's good. So good that she's dangerous. The maneuvers and the way she flys a plane is reckless and stupid and should get her killed." Roosters voice rang out with a pang of venom laced in it. "In Fact I'd say her flying is similar to yours."

I could feel my heart tense up, my eyebrows widening at Roosters words. He was seconds away from revealing Maverick and I. I exchanged glanced with my father and he looked just as nervous as I was. He looked back at rooster, then cleared his throat.

"Interesting observation Bradshaw."

The lesson moved on after that, Maverick seeing more monotoned throughout his observations now. I was annoyed, angered, frustrated, all my emotions building up inside me until they were able to reach their final release.

We were dismissed from the screening room. I was the first one to leave, standing outside of the door and watching as the other pilots left, excited to go and eat lunch. I spotted rooster and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

Despite his protests I dragged him around the corner into an empty hallway. "That was way too close!" I whisper yelled at him, shoving my hands into his chest.

Rooster narrowed his eyes at me, standing up straighter to tower over me. "Don't shove me."

"I trust you this this extremely important piece of information about my life. I told you what would happen if it gets out."

"I didn't say anything about Mav being-"

I quickly snapped snapped my hand over his mouth. "Shut up would you!" I hissed at him in a whisper.

"Don't make me regret my decision."

Rooster took my hand off his mouth. He gripped onto my wrist tightly and stared into my eyes. I flipped my gaze back and forth between his two green eyes, my eyebrow hardened.

"Okay. I'm sorry."

I felt confusion in the calmness of his voice. His demeanor changed, his body wasn't tense. He shifted his hand from my wrist to my palm, taking my left hand in both of his.

"Thank you." I mumbled, allowing myself to relax a little bit into the touch of his hand. A small smile was brought up to his lips as he kept looking at me.

"You're a very angry woman."

I rolled my eyes, pulling my hand away from him and turning to walk down the hallway. He chuckled and jogged to keep in pace with me. "Hey it's okay, I like 'em Feisty. Someone's gotta keep me on my toes."

"Bradley?"

"Yeah?"

"Stop talking." I looked up at him with a smile, which he reciprocated back down to me eagerly.

Next Chapter

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

Touch it for Real, Part 9

Genre: Humor / Fluff / Angst / (Eventual) Smut 18+

Warnings: OMG they were roommates / slice of life / slow burn / mutual pining / crude humor / cursing / virgin!baek / idiots to lovers / unresolved sexual tension

Characters: Baekhyun X You/Female Reader

Description: You teach Baekhyun how to date. (Basically the Get You Alone M/V)

A/N: DO NOT YELL AT ME! It is going to be okay. 

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 , Part 8  , Part 9 , Part 10

You had a secret.

For such an abstract and shapeless thing you could sure feel it sitting in there.

It was pulsing.

Your secret felt like a splinter lodged just under a single taste bud that sat in the center of your tongue. You could feel your white blood cells attacking it, trying their best to push it up and push it out, but still it clung tight with its sharp barbs lodged within your cell walls. You brushed your tongue against your teeth.

The secret did not budge.

What you knew about them though, was that secrets did not like to stay hidden forever.

Your fork slipped and clanked noisily against the ceramic plate and the bright orange carrot ball rolled across the smooth white surface nearly sliding over the edge onto the white linen. Whoever decided that your steamed vegetables needed to be shaped into spheres simply for aesthetics should be forced to come out here and explain how you were supposed to spear one of these things while also avoiding the risk of it shooting across the table and hitting your date in the face.

Ben turned out to be very nice. If you were into tall, handsome, clean-looking, and responsible guys who drove their own cars and also had things like health insurance and retirement plans. When you first saw him, you were struck by the firmness you felt when he shook your hand and smiled brightly at you. He had all of his teeth and a head full of hair. He was definitely walking around on his real legs too. He looked like the kind of guy who didn’t let the clean laundry sit in the dryer for longer than a day and changed out his toothbrush every three months. You couldn't see a single fault.

You were trying your best to make a good first impression.

Really, you were.

Well, while also keeping an eye on Baekhyun who sat beside you with his focus down on his plate as he sliced his food into bite sized bits. His control of the fork and knife felt so careful and so exacting, it neared obsession. He had not ordered the steamed vegetables. None of his food rolled.

Across from him, looking just as cute in person as her online dating profile pictures conveyed, was Mia.

Mia was fine.

She was fine.

You didn't want to get into it.

Her clothes were fine. They were exactly the kinds of clothes you had expected she would wear.

Her hair was fine.

She actually had a hairstyle that reminded you of one of the characters in an anime you watched with Baekhyun once and you wondered about the upkeep costs of that particular shade of blue that streaked through her hair. You wondered if she had to switch to blue towels and blue pillow cases or if everything in her house was just stained forever.

Baekhyun’s cheeks blushed when he shook her hand and his smile was bashful, if not a bit tight when she complimented his glasses. Your mind briefly considered the plush, expensive white towels you both owned at home and a flash of horror overcame you for a split second when you imagined those towels streaked with a blue stain from the shower.

He bought those glasses at a store. Anyone can go to the store and buy glasses. Did such a superficial compliment really warrant such a deep shade of pink on his cheeks?

You took a sip of your glass of wine and the sweet, cool liquid had a tart aftertaste that lingered on your taste buds long after you swallowed and you stabbed roughly at the runaway carrot again, impaling it with the prongs of your fork.

Finally.

“I got it,” you said out loud to yourself with a wide smile and you held your prize up in front of your face for a second. Long enough for your eyes to drift across your table to meet Ben’s and you caught the soft amused chuckle that puffed from his nose.

You’d already gotten through the backstory. Starting with the curious question from Mia about how you and Baekhyun got to know each other and you took a quick glance toward Ben as Baekhyun explained that you and he had been roommates for a couple of years. You caught the slight smile on Ben’s lips as he looked down into his water glass and you wondered if he was pleased that he already knew the answer to this question as you had been quick to tell him this important detail about your life as you chatted with him during the last week or so.

Mia on the other hand simply let her eyes drift over from Baekhyun’s face to land on yours for a moment and you offered a disarming smile by way of explanation. Not that either of you had any explaining to do. You could live with whoever you wanted to live with. It took her ten seconds to return your smile, although you didn't quite believe it, or believe that she was done with her curiosities about this topic.

You couldn't really blame her although you’d given her nothing to be suspicious about. Not in the last 20 minutes since you’d all arrived and nibbled on shared appetizers, at least.

Hell, you hadn’t even touched him all day. From before you both arrived at this fancy restaurant and just relinquished your coats to some stranger simply because she held a hand out and sported a severe enough hairdo and manic look in her eyes that was too frightening to question. From the morning when you woke up and wandered into your kitchen to make toast for one and you ignored the sound of his feet shuffling in, half-asleep to grab a yogurt from the fridge. You hadn’t even helped him style his hair; which looked stunning, by the way, with the waves and the faded brown color that absolutely looked like something the perfect boyfriend would let you play with as he laid on your lap. He hadn’t even asked for your help picking out his outfit. He’d simply done it all on his own and waited for you by the front door wearing those jeans and smelling like that familiar scent that he bought for your date with him weeks back.

When had this all become so awkward? You’d never been afraid to touch Baekhyun before but now, well, the touches hadn’t ever concealed quite so much meaning before.

By the time the entrees arrived the conversations had moved on to hobbies and interests.

Ben was a movie buff, and his favorites were mostly mainstream blockbusters of the Marvel Superhero variety. He enjoyed many of the genres of films you’d mostly seen just the previews of. His top ten contained a bit more horror than you were comfortable with. One in particular, a prolific film based on a Steven King novel, had been the kind of psychologically terrifying film that made your chest rattle and you had spent most of the second half of that movie with your face buried in Baekhyun’s arm begging him to just describe to you what was happening and to tell you when the scary parts were over.

When he asked you what your favorite movie was you hesitated for a moment before pulling the movie Forrest Gump out of basically thin air. Yes you had enjoyed the movie. Yes it was something you’d seen more than once and if it was on television right now you would sit down and watch it from start to finish and you would enjoy it. It was a respectable favorite to have. It was the kind of favorite movie you would not be embarrassed to show to your grandmother.

But it wasn’t actually your favorite and you could feel the burden of Baekhyun’s eyes as he turned his head to look at your face when you said it.

Something about naming, out loud with your own lips — the light and fun, mindless guilty pleasure of the film that was actually your favorite movie that you’d watched hundreds of times and returned to watch again and again every time you felt even a little bit upset; something about saying it out loud to this table of people with countless of hours of media consumption under their belts and opinions about things like prolific directors, production companies, hefty CGI budgets, and overused, tired tropes that absolutely should be dropped in 2021, well it just felt too vulnerable for you to say out loud.

You swallowed a sip of your wine and refused to turn your head to look at Baekhyun until you heard the sound of his throat swallowing the ice water he sipped.

When Mia changed the topic to Anime you felt Baekhyun come alive beside you and Ben slinked back in his seat a little as the two of them got to talking about something that was highly anticipated and was slated to be released next year. Rumors about artists and directors with names you could not know flew easily from their lips and Mia mentioned the name of one previous work that you recognized.

In fact you had watched the entire thing last year with Baekhyun and you remembered talking excitedly about it with Mia during one of your early text conversations.

Your face lit up and you happily joined in, excited to finally know what in the world they were talking about when you accidentally let something slip when you reminded her of what she had said about the anime before. Luckily you stopped yourself before you could admit that you had actually been the one she had been chatting with at the time.

Still, she caught it. She was very quick and sharp and you watched her face as she registered that you’d referenced something that only Baekhyun should know about. Had you just fucked up?

“Ahh, we,” you raised your index finger and waved it lightly toward where Baekhyun had stiffened up in his seat beside you, “he told me about what you said.”

There was a moment when her eyes widened and she looked at Baekhyun briefly before returning her focus to you.

“He...told you about me?” She lifted a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, straightened her back and leaned forward with her forearms rested in front of her plate on the table. Her off-the-shoulders number dipped when she leaned in and you caught a bit of black lace and the bunch up of her impressive bosom.

She smiled a coy smile aimed across the table.

You followed the smile and your eyes reached Baekhyun. He’d been hit with the smile and had been too stunned to return it. Instead, he lifted a hand and rubbed it over the back of his neck twice before reaching the same hand forward to grab the ice water he’d been sipping all night as he pulled in a mouthful and puffed his cheeks before covering his lips with his flattened palm and swallowing noisily.

“I also mentioned you to my friend,” Mia said not quietly enough for it to be just for him and you dropped your eyes down to the half finished chicken on your plate.

She was fine. Mia was fine. She’d done absolutely nothing wrong. She was nice and she was probably a good person, but you kind of wanted her to die.

“So,” Ben interjected suddenly and you looked across the table at him as you tried to conceal the surprise on your face to find him sitting there.

You noticed he was done with his food and his plate had already been cleared away by the super attentive waitstaff.

The negligence of your own date weighed heavily on you and you angled your chest forward to face him directly for whatever questions he had for you.

He was pointing toward Baekhyun and Mia with his extended finger and raised eyebrows.

“You two work in computers?” It was a work question. He’d gathered this much from the brief introductions everyone had given and while you had failed to offer any insight as to what you did for a living, Baekhyun and Mia had both mentioned computers.

“He’s a software engineer, and I’m a programmer. Similar but not the same,” Mia explained. You weren't sure of any of the details or of how they were different. You hadn’t really put much thought into it. You knew Baekhyun worked the magic with the keyboard and could fix anything that you happened to break.

“I’m in advertising. Just got scouted by Comma Entertainment and I’ve accepted.” Ben had a hand raised to his chest and his eyebrows were up. This seemed important to him and you let your lips form into an impressed O shape as you raised your eyebrows. His tone and the way he said the name of his new employer seemed to warrant the excited reaction.

You weren't familiar at all with his industry but you knew how to react like you knew what he was talking about. He certainly seemed impressed by himself. Who were you to discourage his enthusiasm.

“You’ve heard of it?” You sold it too well. Baekhyun had leaned close to you and whispered an aside question and you shot him a tense look with your eyes as a warning, but you quickly pushed your smile wide for Ben who was, deservedly, very excited about his new position.

“Of course, who doesn’t know Comma for advertising. That’s a very big deal. Is that why you were so busy last week? We hardly got to talk.”

Your subject change was so slick. If you hadn’t been the one to do it, you’d have been impressed by it. The disappointed pout on your face sold it well.

“Actually I was at the bank a lot last week. It was so weird. I had a few accounts that seemed to be hacked but then it turned out to be nothing. Had to change all my passwords though, so that was annoying.”

“That sucks. They didn't take anything did they?” Mia spoke up from beside Ben; concern written all over her face.

“No. Whoever did it just seemed to access purchase histories mostly. Some loser of a hacker. Didn't even get any money.” Ben’s lips pulled wide and he was laughing with his head thrown back at his perceived victory over the hacker that had been messing around in his bank records.

“You can learn a remarkable amount of information about a person’s bad habits from their bank history, Ben. Sure utilities and rent; that’s boring. You can find out how often someone gets hammered at bars. How many of those bars are also strip clubs. How many maxed out credit cards they make minimum payments on each month just to keep their head above water. Their gambling losses and the motel rooms they book in the bad part of town…”

Baekhyun was speaking up beside you. You turned and you looked at his profile as he spoke so candidly and with what you could only describe as a certain smugness on his voice.

The only reason he’d stopped talking was to catch his breath. It was the most he had spoken all night and you honestly felt taken aback by the suddenness of his words and more, the topic he spoke on. It felt weirdly pointed. It just felt so detailed; almost accusatory.

“What?” You hissed the question; focused it hard and as under your breath as possible to the man seated beside you.

His lips closed up before his eyes turned to look at you and you caught a quick blink of his eyes that preceded a softening of his features that had no business looking that confrontational in the first place.

“I’m not saying any of that stuff applies to Ben.” Baekhyun lifted a slim dismissive hand to wave toward your date. “It’s just an example. For all we know Ben’s only weakness is eating fried chicken every day.”

Ben’s lips were pulled into a thin line on his face and his jaw unclenched when you looked back at him. Then he was smiling at you and it was bright and convincing. You smiled back at him and shook your head at your wacky roommate’s antics.

“Actually it’s pizza. You caught me buddy, I’m a hardcore pizza addict. Every night.”

“Well, not tonight.” Baekhyun shrugged with an odd smile landing on his lips.

Ben’s tight smile flattened and the two men seemed to be staring at each other for longer than you thought was polite for a shared first double-date.

“So what is it that you do?” It was Mia who ultimately broke the tension and you looked across the table into her eyes. She had a pleasant smile on her face and was still chewing on a piece of bread, clearly unbothered by the strange standoff that had just been going on between the two men at this table.

Surely you weren't the only one to notice how odd it had been. Had you just imagined the tightness in Baekhyun’s fist that laid over his thigh and the hard glare in Ben’s eyes?

With Mia’s question though, you felt your own lips pull closed and your eyes danced around the table to the other curious parties who also were now looking at you to answer the question.

You’d prepared well for this date. You’d made sure Baekhyun had the detailed first date topics, questions and answers for perfect small talk, even the section on table etiquette. You’d made sure he knew you’d be here to steer the conversations toward topics he was comfortable discussing and you’d even set up a safety signal he would use if he wanted to bail and just go home.

You’d planned it all out, down to the detailed progression of the evening and how at the end someone might even suggest going together for drinks. And should one of the dates wish to split off, it would be completely okay as long as the corresponding person felt comfortable. You’d even promised that under no circumstances would you abandon Baekhyun to do this on his own if he didn't want to. Not even at the behest of Ben, your date.

They were looking at you and you'd gone quiet. You’d been so busy preparing for this date that it never occurred to you that you were also actively involved and that someone might possibly ask a question about you and your work.

Your work. Well…

“Uhh...I don't really do anything worth mentioning.”

You felt it. It was a warmth that had pooled in the skin around your nose. Your cheeks felt warm and you felt just insignificant enough for it to take your undeserved confidence and throw it out the window.

Ben and Mia were watching you. You pulled your bottom lip in between your teeth and bit down on the dry chapped skin on the surface.

“Nothing?” Ben said and his eyes were wide with a look of confusion on his face.

“Well, not nothing.” You were not completely unemployed. You had been quite impressive before. You’d been working with the best publicists of an entertainment company and had been in charge of crafting and perfecting the asset sheets of many of your company's highest profile artists. You’d been the best at it and at one time had been highly sought out for your expertise. You had a way with it. You could work some real magic. You could make a dud of a raw potato sound like a five star course in a Michelin star restaurant. Losing your position in the spring of 2020 had really been a huge blow to your confidence. You looked back at how far you had fallen. Boring data entry jobs to make ends meet. Taking on weird side gigs so you could afford tiny luxuries like your favorite scented lotion or the name brand tampons instead of the store brand.

“I do have a job.” You added lamely. “It’s just not at all interesting.”

Ben dropped his eyes from yours and Mia shrugged her shoulders and stabbed a carrot ball expertly on the first try.

“Yeah but what is it?” Mia said as she chewed daintily. The heat in your cheeks spread and you let your eyes wander away from hers over the various dinner items that covered this table.

Beside you, Baekhyun’s movement caught your eye and you turned to see him place an elbow on the table in front of him and he leaned forward.

“She’s a dating coach. She’s really good at it, but much too modest when she talks about herself.”

Oh no. He wasn't about to spill the beans was he? This was definitely not something in the approved list of first date dinner topics. Wasn't this topic too incriminating? Wouldn't Mia put two and two together and figure out that you had been coaching Baekhyun all along? Also, wasn't this new profession of yours too brand new to start talking about so freely like this? What the hell was he doing?

“A dating coach? What’s that?”

Strangely, Mia didn't seem to be looking at Baekhyun with wheels turning and sirens blaring. She was looking at you with her mouth empty and hung open with a look of genuine interest in her eyes.

“Do you like, feed them what to say in an earpiece?” Ben was speaking up from the other side of Mia and you laughed at the absurdity of such a silly rom-com movie cliche.

“Well no. I’m not a pickup artist. I am a dating coach. Think about it like a sports coach. I am teaching my clients the skills to play the game. Skills to overcome dating anxiety, or I’m teaching them to identity and move away from self-sabotaging behaviors, limiting beliefs, or preconceptions that are detrimental to a healthy relationship.

I have clients that don't even know where to begin. My goal is to strategize with them and place them effectively within the dating scene so they stand the best chance. It’s incredibly hard to be objective about your own love life, but I provide an outside viewpoint. I step in and intervene when I see something that isn't in line with their relationship goals or the vision they have for dating.

I’m not teaching manipulation or just telling them what to say. There are no love spells to make someone fall in love with you. I’m changing the way they believe in themselves so they can present themselves to someone else in the absolute best way to begin a real relationship with someone.”

You’d been leaning in as you spoke animatedly with your hands. You felt the genuine excitement building with your words. You were surprised at how much of your previous profession’s language applied to this new exciting endeavor you were embarking on, but there really were tons of overlapping similarities between the two fields. The explanations just poured out of you.

You hadn’t said any of this out loud before to anyone but the more you talked about it, the more elated you felt about what you were doing with your life. With how much you had been helping Baekhyun and how much progress you had seen in just one day of helping your clients — Baekhyun’s friends Minseok and Sehun. Sehun had finally, finally sent you his first selfie that wasn’t taken from his lap after you’d sent him many examples of good selfies taken from different angles. Minseok was already halfway through the materials you’d sent him to study and had been working hard on identifying and changing the self-defeating language he’d used in his rough draft dating profile.

“She has an app.” Baekhyun piped up from beside you. He’d leaned back in his chair as you spoke.

Both Ben and Mia’s faces mirrored each other’s. Their eyes were wide and their mouths hung in amazement and you quickly closed up your own mouth and grabbed anxiously at your wine glass, feeling a little bit embarrassed about having talked so much. You couldn't resist the chance to smash their misconceptions about what your goals actually were with helping your clients. None of these people were unlovable. They were all worthy of finding someone and you were going to give it your all to help them see their own value.

“Not at all interesting?” Mia spoke up, “that’s super interesting. That’s really, really cool. Can—Can I have your contact info? I have a friend that would be interested in your services.”

“You have an app too? This is something we could advertise online. It would do extremely well on certain kinds of reddit forums and definitely in most online gaming communities.” Even Ben sounded excited, if not a bit overly judgmental, and you heard a quiet, but hostile scoff next to you.

You ticked your head toward the sound but did not turn to look at him. You knew that scoff well enough to hear the annoyance in his voice at whatever he thought Ben might be insinuating about online gamers and the connection to the incels that haunted the forums of reddit.

“I think it’s a bit premature to think about online advertising. I’m still only one person.”

Ben smiled and shrugged off your quick dismissal of his idea to partner up and advertise your business to the desperately lonely and pathetic gamers of the world. Hell, the more you thought about it, the less inappropriate Baekhyun’s annoyance was. Ben could use some coaching on choosing less insulting words.

Thankfully the dinner was over and the check had been taken care of. You looked away from the palpable awkwardness that slapped you across the face when Baekhyun waved away Ben’s card and paid for the entire bill with his own.

“You can get me next time, buddy.” He definitely said this word sarcastically. It was out of line and you simply could not find the right moment to pinch his leg under the table to get him to behave himself in a discrete enough way that would not get you caught by the other two people at this table.

You let it slide simply because you had no way to stop it. He was ignoring the way you waved your finger frantically at him down by your calf. You knew he could see you in his peripherals.

No, Baekhyun. Stop that. Be nice. Your hand was saying. He wouldn't even look at it.

The dinner was over and the movie was starting soon. You’d picked a restaurant that was close enough to the theatre that you could walk.

You paired off. It was far from natural. You actually caught Baekhyun’s eyes as you stepped quickly and walked ahead of him, falling into step beside Ben and you left behind Baekhyun and Mia to bring up the rear. It took every ounce of self control not to turn around and look behind you to see how closely they walked to each other. To see if Baekhyun kept his hands shoved securely in his pockets or if he swung his arms at his side as he walked, inching a hand closer and closer to Mia’s swinging hand in the hopes of a back of the hand brush of his warm skin against hers.

Your steps must have stalled. You’d reached the theatre and you looked up to locate Ben, only to find him at the box office purchasing four tickets for the movie you’d all agreed to watch days ago. For the life of you, you couldn't remember what you were seeing. You merely followed where you were led and found yourself seated in a center row of a movie house sandwiched between Ben and Baekhyun. You noticed the center armrests had been lifted when you arrived and simply did not bother to lower them since everyone was too full from dinner for any movie snacks or drinks.

The house was mostly empty and then lights dimmed as the movie began. You searched your brain and nearly pulled out your phone to check your chat logs for the name of the film but decided against shining a tiny bright light in a dark room.

The movie began and you were quickly drawn into the narrative. It was a dark film and as the soundtrack began to take on more sinister sounding tones you recognized that your heart was racing and you were feeling the tension all over your body. It was not a gorey horror film, but it was leaning more toward the psychological suspense thriller genre. Not really something you watched much of.

To your left, Ben sat completely still; focused only on the movie screen. He looked so calm and nearly unaffected by the terrifying things happening on the screen. He occasionally shifted in his seat but did not react to the jump scare that flashed before your eyes and made you flinch hard in your seat. You’d reached the point in the film when the main characters were in genuine danger and you began to wonder if anyone would make it out of this movie alive. Was this one of those films where everyone was doomed?

It happened again, another jump, another loud shocking sound and another noise startled you and you dove to your right, hiding your face in the warm shoulder of the man sitting beside you.

The realization was instantaneous. The second you felt the warmth of his arm, and the smell of him hit your nose, you pulled your head up and you straightened out your spine, mumbling a quiet apology to Baekhyun for using his arm to hide behind as you removed any and all contact points you had with his body. You angled your hips and your knees away from him and even went so far as to stick your hands well under your own thighs and keep them there so you didn't grab for him again. You had been doing so well by not touching him at all today. Why did it have to be a scary movie?

Things grew more frantic on the screen. You held your breath and tried your best to keep from reacting as much as you could. How long was this movie? How much longer did you have to endure this? You should have paid more attention to the details of this part of the date. This was your own fault. You were acting like a big baby because you couldn't handle a little frightening scenes in a movie.

It was coming again. You could feel it building. You closed your eyes and terrible sounds were erupting all over. You would just not look. You could make it through if you just didn't look. With your eyes closed the sounds felt louder than ever and when you thought you couldn't take it anymore you considered committing the enormous sin of getting up during the climax of the movie to use the bathroom just so you didn't have to sit through this anymore.

There was a shift beside you then. You felt warm fingers inching down your forearm, traveling the path your hand took that led below your thigh and someone was reaching for your hand and pulling it out from where you’d been sitting on it. Someone to your right was gripping your hand with his own warm hand and you opened your eyes to look down between the hidden space between your hip and Baekhyun’s hip. There, you saw the grip of his hand that wrapped securely around yours.

He squeezed down once and you followed the length of him up to catch a glimpse of the side of his face. He was looking up at the screen. His eyes were open and he did not flinch at all. He was so still aside from the occasional movement of his lips when he moistened them with his tongue.

You could handle this if he lent you a little bit of his strength like this. Your eyes returned to the screen but your mind wandered back down to the secure comfort you felt in his hand.

You felt your own secret throb.

It made you flinch just a little bit and Baekhyun’s hand shifted then. He moved, lifting the tight grip for a moment and you wondered if he was done, would he take his hand back and leave you cold and afraid again? The lift was for the shift of his fingers and you felt the push of each digit between yours. He pushed his fingers between yours; interlocking your hands together with his and his thumb moved lightly over your own thumb, brushing comforting strokes again and again through the loud and scary and shocking scenes that played over that screen.

This time the racing you felt in your chest had nothing to do with the scary movie. He was touching you. He was holding your hand in secret. It felt forbidden with his date sitting right beside him like she was and with your date seated right beside you like he was. All of your attention was down on the slow pressure you felt from his thumb as it traced the shape of your own thumb down from the very bottom up to the tip, around again. The simple up and down had a slow and sensual rhythm to it. When he lifted his hand his thumb moved and you held your breath to feel that same very slow touching trace the outline of the palm of your hand again and again. He drew absentminded shapes into your skin with the pointed tip of his thumb and your eyes drifted closed as the longing grew within you. He followed the paths of the creases in your skin like a palm reader. He did not even need light to see them, he simply felt them and traced along the paths.

You let him.

You felt bewitched.

You loved him.

The credits rolled on the screen and the lights switched on. The change was abrupt. You were taken by surprise and shocked by it like you were from the jump scares in the film.

His warmth left you. His wandering light touch, his deliberate and careful exploration of the lines that made up the palm of your hand vanished.

Everyone was standing and everyone was walking out of the theatre house and your mind felt clouded and dazed but you followed where their steps led and you found yourself standing outside of the exit doors with the three other people who you entered with.

Baekhyun stood beside Mia and Ben occupied the space of the sidewalk square that you also stood inside.

It was the end of a night. You felt an overwhelming urge for this evening to be done so you could go home and shower and maybe eat something sweet and distracting and maybe made out of chocolate.

“Well this was fun,” it was your own voice that ultimately called it.

Mia had been looking at Baekhyun who had been looking down at his own feet as he lightly tapped his foot on the concrete below. Three taps.

Tap, tap, tap.

You felt a jolt of realization. Baekhyun had just tapped his foot thrice on the floor below him well within your sight and you recognized what that meant. He was feeling done. He was done with all of this exhausting socializing and being out in public with so many people around and he wanted to go home now. This was him asking you for help now as he wasn't sure how to end the date but wanted it to be over.

“What about...grabbing some drinks, maybe...” Mia was talking only to Baekhyun as she looked at him, “if you aren't too tired.”

“Hey Baek, isn’t your grandmother coming over early tomorrow? Do you still have to get ready for that?” You interjected suddenly and Baekhyun looked up into your face with his mouth open and you watched his eyes move slowly over your face as he recognized what you were doing. You were giving him an out. Mia had asked him to go for drinks and you were giving him an excuse, should he need it.

You both knew his grandma came every other Sunday. You both vividly remembered the wonderful visit you had at the beginning of the week with her and she wasn’t due to arrive again until next Sunday.

He could simply correct you if he really did want to go with her. He could call you a dummy and tell you that you had the wrong week again and playfully tap you on the head to jog your brain back into functioning the right way as he often did when you got something mixed up.

“Oh, yeah she is,” Baekhyun grabbed your convenient reminder from the air and smiled a rueful smile directed at Mia. His smile widened with the wince on his face, “that’s too bad.” He added and Mia took it well.

She smiled and nodded her head and there were well wishes for a safe trip home all around as you all parted ways.

Ben said he would text you later. Baekhyun told Mia the same and you waited until they both walked away to follow Baekhyun back to his car for the quiet ride home.

The silence was heavy, but it was comfortable.

Baekhyun didn't speak at all and you could tell by the way he carried himself that he was tired. He wasn’t normally an extroverted person and found it very draining to carry on a full conversation with friends he knew well. Strangers like he had been with tonight, well, you could see the fatigue in his movements and you knew he needed something warm to drink and maybe some comfort with a familiar favorite tv show to zone out in front of.

You handled it better. You were used to having to go out of your home occasionally and you even enjoyed socializing with your coworkers on the few days you went in to the office for work. You felt a bit drained but mostly you were preoccupied with watching how he was handling it and you were also burning with curiosity to know how Baekhyun felt about the whole thing.

He’d wandered into the living room and he found the sofa. You followed him close behind and grabbed the remote, flipping to a familiar and funny cartoon that you often saw him playing in the background as he worked on things. He didn't usually watch it that closely but it was comforting enough to stay on and keep his mind occupied for a while.

You didn't speak. Everything you had to ask him could wait. Even the scolding you had for him about how he acted toward Ben could also wait. You’d let the man breathe a little first.

You busied yourself in the kitchen making two cups of hot tea and when you returned you found his head leaning against the back of the couch with his eyes still glued to the screen. He had a passive smile on his face and he reacted positively to the wacky scenarios the characters found themselves in. He would occasionally speak out loud, speaking along with a funny line he knew by heart and you found it impossible to resist saying the follow up joke. You knew this show as well as he did.

He accepted the tea with a smile and had a few sips and you set your mug on the coffee table in favorable of the comfortable side of the sofa, the side with the pillows that allowed you to rest your head comfortably as you watched the big tv.

You were feeling pretty good. Baekhyun had now officially gone on his first date with a real girl who wasn’t you and he’d had a nice time. You could see from where you laid your head down how relaxed his face was as he giggled at the show.

You stretched and you felt his warm thigh with your foot. This sofa was long enough for you to stretch out completely and you only barely reached where he sat at the other side. You wiggled your toes, unable to resist the light messing with him that you often gave in to and his hand reached down to grab ahold of your foot, which he held in place as he paid attention to the tv.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you sat up a little bit to pull it out.

You saw a text message from Ben.

From the preview you got the idea of what kind of text message the man would be sending you an hour after your first, and apparently your last date with him.

-Hey you seem like a super cool girl, but...

The preview showed you enough to know that he was dumping you before you’d even gotten anything started with him.

You opened the text. Your curiosity outweighed your sense of self preservation.

-...but whatever’s going on between you and your roommate, well it doesn’t really seem like there’s much room for me. I just don't think I can start something knowing I’ve already lost. Thanks for inviting me tonight. The movie was fun. Good luck with everything. - Ben

You felt the sting.

You couldn't help it. You’d spent all evening watching Baekhyun interact with Mia with every ounce of your self control devoted to not letting your jealousy show at all. At one point you’d been so damn engrossed in them that you forgot Ben was even there. What an unfair and shitty situation to have put him in. You quickly keyed out an apology for your crappy date etiquette and thanked him for going out with you tonight.

You couldn't even blame him for anything. He had been sweet and he had tried his best to be the perfect gentleman. What had you expected?

You sent the last message you would ever send to Ben and tossed your phone roughly toward the coffee table. It bounced but landed in the middle.

The racket called Baekhyun’s attention and he turned to look at you with his eyebrows raised in question.

“Ben just rejected me.”

Somehow saying this out loud to Baekhyun felt better than hiding it from him. It felt less miserable than keeping it inside of yourself and letting yourself suffer the sting of the rejection alone.

Baekhyun’s lips pulled into a small frown and he took out his cell phone from his pocket and tossed it roughly on the coffee table beside yours. It took a similar bounce and your eyes widened in surprise at the sudden gesture.

“No way, not Mia too,” you said in genuine fear and Baekhyun shook his head with his shrug still well in place.

“Nah, I just can't lay down with my phone in my pocket,” he said as he wiggled on the sofa trying to get comfortable, “though in hindsight I can see how you would think that, sorry. Mia hasn’t texted yet.”

He was wiggling, finding no comfort in all the positions he tried and you caught his wandering eyes for a second as you lightly tapped a hand over your belly.

This…

This would be fine. This was something you both did sometimes. Baekhyun said your belly was warm and comfy and made the best noises and he liked to use you as a pillow when he was just too tired to go to his own bed.

He moved right away at your invitation and you let your legs part around his chest as he laid his head down right on top of you. He turned his head to face the tv and didn't even squirm too much before he sighed out loud. His arms laid on either side of your waist and you felt the constriction as he lightly squeezed around you.

You really hadn’t gotten to touch him all day. Your fingers found their way into his hair and you felt a low moan from the back of his throat travel though your body as you raked your nails down the back of his head to his nape.

“Peanut,” you said softly, feeling every little bit of the annoying little tickle of that stupid secret sitting inside of you.

You could feel the heaviness of his body as he gave in and relaxed his muscles on you. You felt every breath he took and they seemed to be changing as you played with his hair and he gave in to the relaxing comfort you offered him.

“Hmm?” He replied after a long while. You angled your face and could see that his eyes were closed.

“How was the date? Was it nice?”

You had so many hopes for him. You were trying your best to ignore the pangs of your own selfish jealousy and get past it all to get to something good for him. Something that would make him understand how incredible he was. How beautiful he was inside and out and how precious of a human being he was.

“Mhmm, I liked it.” He said softly and he shifted and you felt him tighten his hold around your waist briefly before he relaxed again.

“Did you really? Do you think you liked Mia?” You kept your voice strong. You did not allow your fears to overcome your voice. You were okay with this if he was okay.

He did not answer right away. You’d stopped playing with his hair and you kept your hand rested over his head. He was so warm. He was so lovely.

“Do you want me to like Mia?”

No.

Mia would be so good to him.

You did not answer. Your answer would have been no. It would have been selfish. You’d just been dumped by your date, how dare his date have gone so well. You’d both been on the same date. You could still see the way she looked at him. She found him just as lovely as you did.

You felt a thickness at the back of your throat and you swallowed it down.

“I’m trying, Bug. She’s very nice to talk to. Do you think I should like her?”

Was this because of his mistrust of people? Was this his shyness about letting someone he didn't know very well in close?

You couldn't respond. You did not trust yourself to do the right thing.

“You should go rest if you’re sleepy,” you said, you know, like a coward.

It took him a few minutes of laying on top of you before he realized that you were right and he would be much more comfortable in his own bed. He nodded and pushed up with his arms, and his eyes stayed closed and his head stayed hung down as his feet shuffled and he made his way into his bedroom, leaving his door open you merely heard the loud sound of him plopping down on his bed.

You were stuck where he left you.

Stuck in about as crappy a mood as you’d ever found yourself.

You hated everything about this. You hated how much you loved him and you hated how receptive he was to the idea of dating Mia. You hated how she looked at him and giggled at his small jokes and you hated HATED the way his cheeks blushed and the shy smiles he gave her when she talked to him.

You laid there and you stewed in your mood for longer than was good for you and the only thing that made your it up was the simultaneous buzzing that brought both of your cell phones to life on the coffee table.

You reached for yours. It’s as your dating coach app. Baekhyun had received a new message from Mia. The feelings that surged through you were taking over your sense of what was good and what was right and what was proper behavior for someone like you to participate in.

You swiped to read the message.

-Hi Baekhyun. Sorry I couldn't wait until tomorrow to text you. I had an amazing time tonight and I was wondering if you would like to meet up tomorrow after your Grandmother’s visit for coffee? I have something I’d like to ask you.

You felt as if your body was on fire.

You could feel it deep inside your chest, deeper still inside your belly where his head had been resting moments before. You felt it in the palm of your hand where his thumb had traced the patterns of lines there. You felt it in your lips that he had kissed and in your tongue ached inside of your mouth from your stupid secret.

You reached for your phone. You opened the app for the power he’d given only to you and you responded to her message as if you were Baekhyun.

-Hi, Yeah, that sounds fine. I’ll meet you at 1pm.

Your hands moved on their own. You moved to the internal commands of your app and you deleted both of the messages from the chat history. When you picked up his phone you saw the notification for Mia’s message vanish before your eyes and when you unlocked it and accessed his chat log, there was no sign of the unimaginable and unforgivable sin you had just committed against him.

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 , Part 8  , Part 9 , Part 10

Tag list: @j-pping  @blahblahblah-boo  @his-mochi-cheeks  @amyeonzing@littleflowercrown13  @baekinmylife  @insta1010  @nana-banana  @f4ncyvelvet@bbhbeth  @totallynerdstuff  @byunbabybaek @maijinki @bbyunz@theclawofaraven @kingkushdealer  @uhobob @baekswifey​ @punchmebaekhyun @xlxbaekhyuneex

[get-shiggy-with-it]

Ch. 6 - Epilogue

18+ Minors DNI

Pairing: Tomura Shigaraki x Reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: nudity, smut but make it softish, oral reader receiving, praise cause Shigs is such a good boy, but he's still an asshole, he's just your asshole, Shiggy likes to fall asleep suckin those tits

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6

Summary: In which the crusty disaster roommates both get into something much better than each other.

AO3 Mirror

Taglist: @dillybuggg @husband-to-tomura-shigaraki​ @narcolepticroses​ 

Tomura woke about an hour later, dick finally soft and tangled in a knot of limbs with you on his bed. You’d stretched and let him kiss you without asking, accepting his tongue on yours just as easily as you had before.

After detangling yourself from him, you left to take a shower and Tomura found that he couldn’t bare the notion of being apart from you for more than twenty minutes now even more than he couldn’t fucking stand showering, so he’d joined you anyway.

You didn’t talk much and neither did he, but it was that same comfortable silence you’d formed in your little study room hideout. He let you drag him under the spray just long enough to wash most of the jizz and spit from his thighs before he stepped back to lean on the tile and watch as you rinsed yourself.

Only once did you mention the rough, scaly skin on his neck and face. Your hand was gentle, roving over the cracks and asking him if he’d tried any soap for sensitive skin. That yours was like that too and you’d let him borrow some to try out. He blushed at the implication of seeing you again after this.

It was well past midnight when you toweled off and dried him as well. He lent you one of his few clean t-shirts and you wore it without any underwear. Tomura shameless stared at your bare ass when you bent over to strip the ruined blanket with his favorite character's trademark smiling face from his bed.

He thought about burying himself in you again, and because he hadn’t dressed yet—and you didn’t push him away when he pressed against you—he did. 

As naturally as anything, Tomura gripped lightly at your hips, kneeling between your legs to lap lightly at your folds. It was a new sensation but it lit a fire in his gut. You painted his face with that delicious fucking slick that spilled from your cunt and Tomura couldn't help but stand and start grinding against the cleft of your ass.

You moaned for him again when he fucked you from behind, just as rough as before—a hand in your hair, yanking your neck up so he could litter kisses and bites across your skin—but it all came easier the second time around.

You came easier too, helping him along still and cumming hard with your back to his chest and your cheeks pressed together.

While he panted against your newly dirtied skin, he breathed you in, and as that fucking familiar ass scent washed over him, he knew he’d never get tired of it. 

You told Tomura, later—when you were both exhausted again and stained with release—that he was kinda a natural at this and something about the praise really got to him.

“You’d fucking know,” he snipped at you, curled on his side with his face in your tits.

This was his new favorite position, he’d decided and he snickered at the thought of planting his head right in your chest while you were both in class. He’d pay money to see the horrified look on your prim fucking face.

“Yes I would,” you hummed into his hairline, mouthing softly at the baby curls around his crown. “So, when are you gonna take me out?”

Tomura felt the loading circle of death spinning in his brain for a moment. Like a 404 error had occurred somewhere in amongst his neural pathways.

“I thought you said you were a slut?” he asked and almost immediately wished he could quit the game, even if it meant he had to replay all the scenes before this moment.

But you didn’t pull away.

You really never do.

He thought idly that you both must have some weirdo bug making you enjoy all the disgusting bits of the other.

“Well yeah, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take me on a date if that’s something you’d like,” you chuckled and he felt your chest rise with it and the breath on his forehead.

He nestled his face deeper into your tits, “yeahsurefinewhatever.”

The lips pressed to his head smiled, but you didn’t say anything again for a long time. Not until both of you were drifting off for the second time, falling into the trap of shared body heat and the odd human craving of skin against skin.

“Your freaky roommate isn’t going to walk in right?”

Tomura grumbled, lifting your shirt to mouth at your nipple and suckling softly, “No, you’re mine now, he can’t have either of us.”

You signed contentedly for a moment, moaning lightly as he swiped his tongue over your sensitive skin before the words caught up to you.

“Wait, what?”

“Nothing, go to sleep.”

You didn’t push it any farther, or try to remove Tomura from his sucking at your tits. It was quite possibly the most peaceful night of sleep he’d ever gotten, which only ensured the fact that you would never be allowed to sleep anywhere else ever again.

This was your responsibility now, after all, and you fucking loved responsibility so he didn’t see any problems with it.

Shockingly, Tomura did let you leave the next morning to grab some things from home and change clothes. He watched you walk down the sidewalk from his window and only meandered back into the kitchen when you turned a corner out of sight and the front door slammed open.

Dabi was plopped on the couch when he ventured out, shirtless and absolutely covered in hickeys. Tomura would have commented on it, but he knew he didn’t look much better and didn't want to invite the comparison.

“What the hell got into you, creep?” Dabi asked incredulously, leering from the cushions, looking him up and down.

“I got into bitch (endearing),” he cupped his hands to form parenthesis in the air and grabbed a Monster from the fridge.

Dabi gaped, pushing himself up and not so subtly limping over to cage him against the counter, “No you fucking did not.”

“Did so,” Tomura shot back, knocking his shoulder roughly into Dabi’s chest so he could stalk back into his room. “Looks more like someone got into you.”

You’d put him in such a weirdly pleasant mood, he really didn’t want to give that up, but Dabi was persistent, the bastard.

“We got into each other,” Dabi said, flopping down on Tomura’s bed and ruining your scent on his sheets, “No fucking way you had the balls dude.”

Impulsively—in part because he really needed the ego boost of proving Dabi wrong and to convince himself as well that last night (and this morning) had really happened—Tomura whipped out his phone, flashing the pretty picture of you choking on his dick right into that smug asshole's face.

The fucking grin only grew wider.

“I’ll be fucking damned,” he stood from the bed to get a closer look, but Tomura locked the screen quickly and shoved it back in his pocket. “How much did you have to pay them?”

“I don’t know what you have to do to get some,” Tomura scoffed, “but mine was free.”

Dabi looked like he had something smart to say back to that but Tomura didn’t want to hear it.

“Get out,” he called over his shoulder as he took Dabi’s place on his bed, inhaling the little wisps of you left over on the cotton.

God he was never gonna wash these.

“Aw, don’t wanna give me all the details?”

He peaked up at Dabi, leaned against his doorframe.

“No, I have to get dressed,” he paused before the next words that left his mouth, hiding his face in the pillow so Dabi wouldn’t see the furious red of blood rushing to his cheeks. “I have a date later.”

[junicai]

i search the universe.

| order no. | 5/21

| summary | Are ‘exploring’ and ‘being hopelessly lost’ synonyms? According to Jongin, they most definitely are.

| word count | 1.9k

| warnings | mentions of kidnapping but it’s just an old lady looking out for Aria when she’s with two very suspicious looking older men, sasaengs 

| era | circa. January 2020 

a/n: this definitely took a turn from the request, but i hope you still like it! if you’re not vibing with it, you can dm me, and i’ll see what i can re-write. thank you! 

The tour was set to kick off again in San Diego, California, after a pause for the duration of December. The time off was greatly appreciated; Aria found herself sleeping for twelve hours at a time occasionally, her sleep schedule trying to right itself after having been flipped on its head too many times to count. 

The flight from Seoul to California was long, and Aria had slept for a grand total of twenty minutes by the time they touched down on the tarmac runway again. 

It had been Jongin’s idea to go exploring before their first schedule that evening, an invitation that was proposed to all the members but only accepted by Taemin. When Jongin’s deflated look was fixed on Aria, she crumbled like the weak woman that she was, and agreed to accompany the two older men on an impromptu trip around the city. 

She’d never even left Ireland prior to joining the company (bar skating competitions, but those were less of a trip and more of a airport-taxi-hotel-rink-repeat combo, if you will) so each new city was met with widened eyes and dramatic oohs and aahs.

The trio had dropped their suitcases into their hotel rooms - Jongin rooming with Taemin this time around, and Aria with Ten - and pulled out a light jacket for outerwear, in Aria’s case, before they were marching out the door, masks pulled up over their faces. 

Aria’s hoodie that she had worn on the plane lay on the bedspread in her room, her phone forgotten in it’s pocket. 

The air was cool but not biting outside, and as Aria linked her hand into Taemin’s, the sun was still above the horizon. Jongin slipped his phone back into his pocket.

“The interview is scheduled for 6, which means we need to be back at the hotel for 4, which gives us,” He checked his watch, “Roughly two hours. Maybe a little more, if we push it.”

Taemin fixed him with a look. “Let’s not do that. It’s twenty to two now, lets aim to be back for twenty to four.”

Aria tugged on Taemin’s hand where the singer had still yet to let go. “Mhm! that way, if things go skywards, then we have time to take a back route or something.” 

Jongin nodded, satisfied. “Okay! So, where first?”

Aria exchanged a look with Taemin, before starting down the street. “Let’s find out!” 

With each building, came a new attraction to stare at. Small stalls sat at the street corners, attendees calling out to them to barter their goods. The buildings seemed to climb into the sky for miles, never-ending as far as Aria’s eyes could see.

The city was bustling with noise, cars passing on the wide streets with sharp beeps! that sent Aria jumping into the air occasionally, much to the chagrin of Jongin. 

He caught her waist when she jumped backwards the first time, stopping her from flattening him onto the sidewalk. “You alright there?” He leaned forwards with a teasing grin. 

Aria had huffed, swatting his hands off her waist before fixing her shirt. “Fine.” 

The grin had stayed plastered on Jongin’s face for the next two blocks, widening further when the girl jumped again at the sound of a harsh tire squeal and a series of rapid-fire beeps following it. 

Taemin lead the two away from the commotion, and they continued their in-depth exploration of the city and it’s secrets. 

It was wonderful; Until it wasn’t.

Honestly, they probably should have realized when they started being followed. It happened regularly on the streets back home, but here, they were off-guard and so the first flash of a shutter going off send Taemin stumbling backwards slightly. 

All hell broke loose from there.

A group of fourteen or fifteen teenage girls gathered, the leader of which had her phone gripped in her hand. “KAI OPPA!” She screamed, and like a battle cry - the others joined her.

Aria felt frozen, her legs refusing to cooperate with the frantic run, run, run run run that her brain was playing on a loop. The group advanced quickly, moving around the street corner and were only a few yards away when Jongin grabbed her wrist, fingers encircling tightly, and pulled her into motion. 

They ran on autopilot, blind as to where they were going only knowing that they couldn’t stop. The pounding of feet was still deafening behind them, and Jongin speeded up, Taemin following suit. 

It wasn’t long until Aria felt like she was doing less running and rather simply being tugged along by her wrist; legs pumping as fast as she could made them, but her strides were nearly double what she’d normally take even at a flat out sprint. 

Taemin tugged them both into a small alleyway, hoping that the shade the towering buildings offered on either side was enough to shield them from the fangirls’ piercing gazes.

Aria bent over, hands on her knees, panting.

“Oh god,” Jongin coughed out. “Not a single day, huh?” 

Taemin nodded sadly in commiseration, catching his own breath. “How did they even know it was us?” 

“The hair, probably,” Aria mumbled, already pulling her hair back into her hood. The bleached blonde and sky blue streaks combination was a tell-tale sign, and she kicked herself mentally for not at least putting her hair up into a bun to hide the most dramatic parts of it.

“What do we do now?” Aria looked to the two older men. “Do we just try to make a run for it? I don’t think I can remember which way we even went, we were just running. Oh god, are we lost now? Can we even get back to the hotel?” 

Taemin extended an arm, wrapping around Aria’s back and pulling her into a hug, before subtly moving them both behind a large sign that blocked them from view.

The group of girls passed by the entrance to the alley, chattering loudly. 

“Where did they go?” 

“Did you see which way they went?” 

“Taeminnie oppa~ Saranghae, come back~”

“Who was the 

“Okay,” Taemin took a deep breath. “Okay, we’ve done this before. My phone died somewhere back there, but Aria, do you want to call Baekhyun hyung while Jongin tries to figure out where we are?” 

He received two nods in return, and Aria’s hands patted her pockets. The empty lining gave underneath her fingers, and her stomach sunk slightly in dread. 

“My phone isn’t-” She looked up to Jongin with wide eyes. “I left it in the hotel room, I think, when I changed my jumper.” 

Jongin put a hand on her shoulder, rubbing soothingly. “It’s okay, we still have mine.” 

Aria’s breath was coming in slightly labored, with a light tremor that shook her chest. 

The ringing sounded loud as it echoed down the alley, and Jongin scrambled to turn the phone on silent. 

“What?” Baekhyun’s voice was tinny through the phone’s speakers, and Jongin moved down towards the end of the alley, out of Aria and Taemin’s earshot.

“Hyung,” Jongin spoke, heavy with relief. 

“What? You’ve just woken me up-” Jongin interrupted Baekhyun before he could start yelling down the phone. 

“Hyung, we got followed.” 

“By who?” 

“Fans, we think. They spotted us a couple streets ago, we ran and now we don’t know where we are.” 

A muttered curse came down the phone line, and what sounded like Baekhyun shutting a door. “Right, find out where you are, and I’ll get the manager to come get you lot. This is why I said no to going out, you’re all tired and then things like this happen Jongin-” 

“Hyung! I know, and I’m sorry you can scold me for it later, but right now,” He tossed a glance over his shoulder to Aria, who was encircled in Taemin’s arms. “Aria’s freaking out, and I’m not sure why, but I don’t think hiding in an alley is helping.” 

Baekhyun was silent, breathing out another curse. “Taeyong, he told me - it happened a while ago, and he didn’t tell me a lot, but enough.” 

“Hyung?” 

“Aria had a bad, altercation, lets say, with a sasaeng two years ago. I don’t know what exactly happened - Yongie didn’t tell me - but I’ll bet that’s why she’s freaking right now. Maybe just-” 

The line cut out. 

Jongin shook his phone, clicking the power button. “Hyung? Hyung?”

Taemin looked over. “Is everything alright?” 

“Phone’s dead.” 

Aria’s head peeked up, wide eyed. “Really?” 

Jongin nodded. 

“So- so what do we do? Did you talk to oppa?” 

He bit his lip. “Yeah, yeah I did. We’re gonna go find another store that’ll let us use their phone okay? And we’re gonna call the manager.” He turned to Aria. “Do you think you could talk to someone right now, Ari? Is that okay?” 

Aria took a deep breath, closing her eyes and exhaling smoothly. “I can do that. I can definitely do that.” The tremor in her hands told otherwise, but she tucked them into her pockets to hide that fact.

“Okay. Okay, let’s go.” Taemin peered around the alley walls, looking and seeing no gang of girls waiting to pounce on them. 

The trio stepped out from behind the building walls, and quickly jogged their way into the nearest café - two storefronts down. 

“Miss? Miss, I’m so sorry to bother you, but could I borrow your landline for a moment? My own phone’s dead, you see.” Aria cleared her throat, peering up at the kind lady behind the counter.

Her wizened eyes took in the small stature of Aria, and the two men standing at the doorway, peering outside. They looked suspicious; hoods pulled low over their eyes, and masks hiding the bottom half of their faces, staring out the window as if they were waiting for someone to show up; and they were ready to flee.

 Slowly, an understanding dawned on her - connecting the wrong dots together and garnering a jumbled up picture of the truth.

“Oh, dear of course, just come behind here and I’ll call someone for you - do you have your mother’s number with you? Your father’s?” She began to usher Aria behind the counter.

“Oh, no, miss, that’s alright, I just need to use your phone for a moment-”

The lady leaned closer. “Dear, if those men are trying to take you somewhere, you’re absolutely welcome to stay in the back room. Do you want me to call the cops?”

Aria choked. “Oh! Oh no- oh those are my brothers miss! They’re not- I haven’t been-” 

The lady looked on with squinted eyes. “They can’t hurt you dearie, you’re safe now-”

“No, I promise you miss, they’re my brothers, they just don’t speak very good English. Can I please use your phone? Please?” Aria was begging at this point. 

Reluctantly, a phone was handed to her, and she wasted no time in inputting Baekhyun’s number. It rang once, before being picked up.

“Oppa?” 

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Here to Misbehave (Pt. 16 | S.R.)

Series Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Finale |

Summary: Reader is trying to go back to her old life, which includes the life she led before she met Spencer. Category: Angst. Couple: Spencer/Fem!Reader Content Warning: Drug mention, addiction, jealousy, arguing, death mention Word Count: 9.3k

MASTERLIST

—————————————————

“Don’t wear that tie, wear the other one.”  

Spencer turned to look at me curiously, his little grin the first signal that he saw right through me. “Why?” He asked, taking off the tie he’d only just finished putting on to swap it for the other one hanging in my closet.

It’d been a week since Spencer all but moved into my room, refusing to leave my side for even a second longer than necessary. Aside from the freshly healing bullet wounds, it had been one of the best weeks of my life.

“I don’t know.” I shrugged, trying and failing to hide my smile. “I just wanted to watch you take it off.”

My boyfriend pointed an accusing finger at me as he approached the bed, using it to poke my nose before retreating. “You, my dear, are a troublemaker. I’m going to be late.”

It was hard to believe that life could resume so quickly for everyone else when it felt like I was still on my knees on the cold tile floor of the bank. I tried not to think about it, acutely aware of the terrible things that could happen when PTSD was left unchecked.

I wanted to think about nice things, instead. Like how cute my boyfriend was, acting like it was my fault he’d be late while he took his time tying his tie over and over again. He’d say it was because it wasn’t perfect, but we both knew he didn’t care about that. He just didn’t want to leave yet.

“If you’re going to be late Dr. Reid, it’s because you refused to get out of bed until I gave you a kiss for every hour you’ll be gone today.” I reminded him, joy filling my chest at the small combination of a smile and a pout I received in response.

“You still owe me two.”

“Do I?” I responded, reaching out to grab his hand and pull him back to my place on the bed. “Then please, let me remedy that.”

Not wanting me to move any more than I already had, he quickly came down to place a chaste kiss on my lips. But I didn’t let it end there, holding onto the newly secured tie and tugging him closer.

Now it might be my fault, I thought, but I didn’t care. With one hand on the bed to steady himself and the other carefully caressing my cheek, he put all of his love into one little kiss. I felt like I was going to explode with the pent up desire that had accompanied being with him for so long without being able to show him how much I loved him in a physical way.

He insisted that he didn’t need sex, that it didn’t matter to him, but it mattered to me! I didn’t have a way with words like he did, and while he was content with curling up by my side, it left me wanting more.

The doctor kept telling me it would be soon, that the time will have passed quickly in hindsight. I didn’t understand half of what he said— he was just trying to get me to accept the narcotics in hopes that I wouldn’t end up back in his hospital.

I was doing it again. I was thinking about things I didn’t need to think about instead of the way Spencer bit down on my bottom lip when he paused to let me breathe. The smell of his cologne filled my lungs and I remembered how much I used to miss it. I’d stopped appreciating it when it was around me all the time.

It wasn’t until his phone rang that he left completely, tearing himself away from me like he wouldn’t be able to stop himself any other way.

“Hello?”

There were only a few reasons they would be calling him right now, and I didn’t like any of them.

“Oh… Alright.”

It was that exact tone, that terrified, pitiful grumble that told me what I needed to know. He had to go somewhere, and he wouldn’t be back today. He’d retreated from me, turning his back to me like I wouldn’t be able to tell what was happening just because I couldn’t see his face.

His voice was hushed. “Hotch, are you sure that I…”

The hopelessness hurt. I wanted him to go back to work; I knew he needed to. But it was so hard to let him go.

“Understood. I’ll be there soon.”

“How many more kisses do I owe you now?” I asked with a nervous laugh, fiddling with the sheets between my fingers.

“I don’t know.”

“Uh oh. I don’t like that voice.” I tried to keep my tone playful, but it wasn’t enough.

“I have to travel.”

The fact that he wasn’t looking at me made me more anxious than the fact he was now grabbing all the clothes he had in the closet and dropping them in the suitcase.

“Where to?”

Spencer paused, staring at the floor so that he could see me from his peripherals. He was torturing himself by forcing himself to see my reaction, but he wasn’t strong enough to look directly at me.

“Alaska.”

“Oh... wow.” I didn’t know how to respond, my body freezing as I tried to conceptualize just how far away that was. Far enough away that in maps of the United States, they had a separate area designated for it since it couldn’t fit.

It was too far, that’s all I knew.

“Hey, that’s fine! I can still call you.” My voice sounded foreign and the hopefulness was poorly performed. I wasn’t sure calling would be enough, but it apparently didn’t even matter.

“Not really. They don’t have service out there. Garcia is coming with us.” His packing got angrier, no matter how hard he tried to hide it from me.

“It’ll be fine, Spencer.”

His hands, unable to find any more clothing to grab, found purchase in his hair instead, running through them roughly. “What if something happens?” He asked as he finally turned to face me with a seriousness that was unbecoming.

“Nothing is going to happen. I have tons of friends who can help me. I’m just going to be sitting here on my ass all day watching bad TV.”

I gestured to the television that my friends had been nice enough to set up in my room, sighing as Spencer sulked in the other corner. It took a few waves of the hand, but eventually he dragged himself back to my side. Opening my arms to him, I took him in when his head dropped against my shoulder once more.

“I-I’m not ready to leave you yet.” The vulnerability shook in his voice, and I could feel the insistence in his grip denting my pillow.

“Well, too bad, superman.” I teased, pulling him away enough that I could show him my smile, hoping that it would be enough to calm his mounting fears. “You’ve got lives to save.”

He looked at me, his eyes still welling with tears despite the smile he now wore. He took my hand and heldit against his cheek. He closed his eyes; taking a deep breath, he mumbled, “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Make me fall more in love with you every single day.”

I had to laugh, and I cursed him for it. It hurt so badly to laugh still, but the look on his face was worth it. No matter what, Spencer Reid had to be a romantic, and I loved him for it. It was so very much unlike me.

“Don’t get all sappy on me now, old man.” I chastised him lightly, “You’re going to be late.”

He wasn’t done yet, though, that protective glimmer in his eyes returning with a vengeance. He held tighter to my hand and bit his lip.

“Promise me you’ll be safe. Don’t do anything you aren’t supposed to. Please.”

It sounded like a beg, a desperation that I wasn’t used to. Up until now, it always felt like I was the one who was seeking more information and assurance. But now he sat before me, practically broken at the thought of not seeing me for a few days, pleading for me to take my own life seriously.

I hated the attention, but couldn’t tell him that. He wouldn’t understand; it would only make him worry more.

“I promise.”

He didn’t believe me, but he accepted my answer, anyway. Lunging forward, his lips crashed into mine without any reservations. I laughed into the kiss, tangling my hands in his hair so that he’d have to fix it again before he could leave me.

It was only funny until I remembered how long it might be until I see him again. I held onto him, deepening the kiss just to drag it out. He was also looking for an excuse, still refusing to part all the way when our lungs had nothing left.

“I love you… so much.” He whispered, resting his forehead against mine for a moment longer.

“I love you, too.”

I’d said it so many times in the past few weeks, but the words still felt new on my tongue. I wanted to say them more, to shower him in my affection, but I didn’t know how. Love was just another language he was fluent in, and I decidedly wasn’t. All I could do was wait for him to translate the thoughts to me whenever I got lost.

“I’m going to try to set up something so I can talk to you, okay? I can’t promise it’ll work but I’m going to try. You remember what I said about the last time I couldn’t reach you.”

Memories of papers scattered on the floor ran through my mind. I could practically feel his hand wrapped around my neck for the first time, holding my life in his hand because I’d trusted him to keep me safe. The vision of waking up in his bed, only to have him lower himself below the sheets, pressing kisses down my stomach.

Things had been so different then. It felt like a lifetime ago.

Those thoughts were suffocating and overwhelming and painful, and I shoved them back into the deepest recesses of my mind. It was too early to be emotional.

I took a deep breath, patting Spencer’s cheek with a soft palm before I summoned all the sarcasm I could in my voice. “I’ll always be with you in your heart,” I joked, smiling as he cringed at the sound.

“I mean it, little girl. If you don’t take care of yourself, you’re in for it when I get back.”

Feigning shock and a gasp, I brought my hand to my chest just in time for him to step away from me. The absence of him was colder than it should have been. At least he appeared to be in better spirits, and I wanted to keep it going.

“Dr. Reid, has that ever worked to make me not do something?”

Spencer shook his head with a chuckle, grabbing the rest of his things with more pep in his step. The closer he got to the door, the harder my heart beat. It was deafening and mind numbing in its volume.

Was this how love was supposed to feel? Or had I just grown so spoiled and accustomed to him being here, that I was being entirely selfish? I would no doubt have days to think about it.

He returned to me one more time, running his hand gently through my hair and granting me one more soft, serene kiss in the pale morning light.

“Take care of yourself.” He whispered, the begging bleeding back into his voice. “For me.”

“I will.” I promised before closing my eyes so I wouldn’t have to see him leave. I still heard him hesitate at the door, and I felt his eyes linger on me for a few seconds longer. But then the door clicked shut, and I was alone again.

—————————————————

Nine days. I’d been gone for nine days. It might as well have been a lifetime, because that’s exactly what it felt like. Even worse, I was only able to call (y/n) a whopping three times, each one shorter than the last. We’d only talked for a total of 14 minutes and 29 seconds. And considering that nine days is 12960 minutes, that’s a pretty abysmal fraction.

But it didn’t matter, because as soon as that stupid jet landed in Virginia, I was on my way back to her. Thankfully it was still a normal hour and the sun was still out, albeit quickly setting.

She wasn’t answering my calls, and I tried not to think too much of it. During our last call, she’d told me that she started a new medication that made her sleepy. In fact, our conversation had been so short in part because she fell asleep halfway through the call.

I didn’t mind though, listening to the soft sound of her breathing until the signal went dead again. I’d played the audio over and over again in my head to help me sleep that night, knowing that she was hours away but still dreaming with me.

I was so ready to see her again, that I’d barely knocked on her door before the keys were already in the knob. I didn’t want to wait, I didn’t want to spend another second longer than necessary before I could see her.

But before I could turn the handle, the door swung open and away from my hand.

There were a few people I’d expected to see; (y/n), her roommate, or possibly one of the other female friends the girls had mentioned that I’d yet to see. Unfortunately, it was the one face that hadn’t ever crossed my mind that appeared.

On the other side of the threshold was the man I’d only seen in pictures. To be more specific, one picture, months ago, sent to me from (y/n)’s phone in an attempt to keep her from answering my call.

I recognized him immediately, but realized I’d never actually heard his name.

We stood there for a long time, staring at the other with the utmost hostility in our eyes and postures. I hated the fact that I felt the need to compete with him, but found myself acting out of instinct. I just hoped that he wasn’t as smart or perceptive as her, and wouldn’t notice the insecurity and jealousy that immediately emerged.  

“So you must be the cop.” He drawled, leaning against the doorframe to prevent my entry. The action alone pissed me off, but I bit my tongue in the hopes I could deescalate the situation, despite how much I didn’t want to. There were many things I wanted to say to him, but only a few words came out.

“I’m not a cop.”

“Yeah, she said you’d say that.” He chuckled, rubbing his chin as he recalled a memory of her. I wanted to wipe the smirk off his face.

“That makes sense. It shouldn’t be a surprise, considering it’s not my job.” I stated matter-of-factly, trying to remind myself that the two of them were friends. She’d known him for a long time, and he probably felt just as possessive of her as I did.

The only difference was that I had a reason to believe she was mine.

“Let me guess, your sense of humor is her favorite trait.” The sarcasm dripped from his tongue. Normally I’d say that was my role, but right now all that I had to spit back was venom.

Retrieving my key from the door, I contemplated barreling past him to get to her quicker, but realized he was probably hoping to provoke that exact kind of reaction.

“You’re funny.” My face steeled and my fists clenched in my pockets, I peered around his head to the empty hallway behind him. “Where is she?”

“Sleeping.” That stupid smirk was back, his eyes trailing after my every movement, waiting for me to snap. When I didn’t, he escalated his antics further.

“I was about to go join her.” He said, licking his lips and standing up in an attempt to match my height.

But it wasn’t size or age that distinguished the two of us. It was our priorities. Because while he was here, trying to prove himself to me, all I could see was a young boy standing in the way of me seeing her again.

“No need. I’m here now.” I took a step forward, unsurprised to find that he didn’t immediately move out of my way.

He narrowed his eyes, grasping at straws to try and prolong this interaction. I couldn’t understand why, really. He couldn’t honestly believe I’d try to start a fight with him or leave, could he?

“Does she know you were planning on coming by?”

“Why does it matter to you?” I responded with a bored tone, staring him down until I saw his stance falter. It wouldn’t take much longer of this standoff for him to finally recede far enough into the apartment that I could just ignore him.

“Just wondering.” He mumbled, finally taking a step backwards and to the side so that I could enter. He shut the door behind me, but clearly wasn’t done with the conversation.

“Figured she wouldn’t have asked me to come spend the night with her if she knew you were coming. So she must not have expected for you to show up.”

I turned around to face him, knowing that I was playing into his games but unable to resist the temptation.

“She told me you got jealous last time. I would hate for you two to fight again if you found us in bed together. That would be so upsetting for her.”

“Well, you’re off the hook. No miscommunication. No worries at all.” It was times like these that I was grateful for my training, because it was the only thing keeping me from lunging at the boy and slamming him against the wall. I knew he could see it in my eyes.

He clearly had an idea of me in his head, one that was honestly probably pretty accurate. He wanted me to lose control and show that side of me, to prove that he was the better man. But he wasn’t. He’d had several years with her now to prove himself, and she’d still chosen me.

She chose me— that’s all I needed to remember.

“What if I want to stay?” He teased.

“We’ll let her decide.”

That was the first thing I’d said that struck a nerve in him. He resumed his previous stance with his back straight and arms crossed over his chest. “You’re a bit full of yourself for a dude who’s never here.” He spat, puffing his chest. The longer the bravado continued, the less intimidating it became. “You barely even know her.”

I was transported back to when (y/n) and I first started dating, when Morgan had accused me of the very same thing over lunch. My heart wrenched in my chest, because so much of me knew that it was still true.

She’d only just started to share information with me about her past, and still she spoke in vague generalities and half-thoughts. There was so much she hid from me, and I just… let her. I let her hide from me because I was scared that if I pressed her, she would leave.

At least, that’s what I’d thought. But each time someone pointed out how little I knew her, I was forced to consider the possibility that she was keeping me away for a deeper reason.

“I know all the parts of her that she doesn’t want to show you.” He taunted, sensing my anxieties that were clearly written across my face.

“Are you done? I’d like to go see her now.”

He didn’t respond, shaking his head. But I only got a few steps before I heard his voice again, this time louder and angrier.

“Doesn’t it bother you? Knowing that I’m here, in bed with your girlfriend while you’re on the opposite side of the country, not even answering her calls?” He remained rooted in his position at the end of the hall.

I lost the battle of keeping my eyes on her door, ripping them away so that I could turn to face him. My breathing got heavy and my hands finally left my pockets. “No, it doesn’t bother me,” I said, my voice falling quieter instead of growing, “You want to know why?”

The grimace on his face was the only answer I needed. I brought a finger to my own chest, not trusting myself to touch him. I barely knew this guy, and I wasn’t about to start a fight with one of (y/n)’s oldest friends to prove my manhood, especially if that was exactly what he wanted.

“I’m not worried because I trust her.” I practically whispered to him, “And even if I had some reason not to, I’m not intimidated by you.”

A fire appeared in his eyes, the desire to bite back stifled by the knowledge that there was nothing he could say to make me doubt her. He’d already tried and failed every time so far.

“I don’t care what parts of her you think I haven’t seen. Because I get to have the parts of her you wish you could. And she gave them to me willingly and without regret. Over and over again.”

There was so much more I wanted to say, but I was thankfully cut off by the hoarse, familiar voice in the backroom.

“Spencer?” She called, groggy yet excited. There was no way she could hear me from the room, which told me that she’d probably just woken up to my texts and hoped I was here. It told us both that when she woke up, the first person she thought to call was me.

“Yeah.” I said, a soft, genuine smile crossing my cheeks at the thought of her. “Like I said… I’m not worried.”

He didn’t follow me then, staying in the hallway to stew in his anger over the fact that this hadn’t gone at all how he’d planned. But I couldn’t think about him any longer, because as soon as I turned into her room, my heart melted.

She was sprawled out on her bed, hugging a body pillow like her life depended on it. Her hair was a beautiful disaster across her pillow, and the blanket had fallen far enough to see that she was swamped in the same Caltech sweatshirt she wore every time I was gone.

“Hey little girl.”

She slowly shimmied her way up the pillows, clearly surprised at my appearance despite having called me in. With half shut eyes, she spoke through a yawn, “What’re you doing here? You look like you haven’t slept in a week!”

“I missed you.” I admitted quietly, finally bridging the gap between us and climbing onto her bed on top of the covers. I couldn’t even bother taking off my blazer or my shoes; I needed to be close to her now, without any other unnecessary delay.

Despite curling up against me immediately, she still found a way to whine. “You better not have skipped out on anything for me. We know I’m not doing anything worthwhile in here.”

I leaned down to kiss her forehead, my hands holding her against me so that I could breathe in the familiar scent of her hair and perfume. “I strongly disagree.” I sighed, happy to hear her hum and giggle at the way my breath tickled her face.

I didn’t even hear the door open, but she tilted her head away from me to see her friend. I stayed where I was, not wanting to take my eyes off of her again for as long as I didn’t have to.

“I’m gonna head out. Let me know if you need me again.” He said, his voice full of repressed anger and sadness that I understood but didn’t particularly care about right now.

“Thanks for coming! I’ll probably see you next week; I’ll text you!” She chirped, waving to the man who’d already left.

His absence eased away the last remaining bit of tension in my shoulders, allowing me to bury myself in her neck while she continued to laugh. I heard the soft sounds of the tv for the first time and mumbled into her skin.

“What are you watching?”

“Just a sitcom. You wouldn’t be interested.”

She sounded... defensive, if not a little ashamed for her choice in shows. I had to laugh, realizing that she was still unaware of the shows my mom and I used to watch when I was a kid. The asinine, cheesy soap operas that taught me the dorky, awkward way to love that she constantly mocked me for.

I would save that piece of information for later, though, and instead, I chose to show her my own interest in the things she loved, or in the very least found comforting. “What’s it about?”

Apparently, it was the right question to ask. Over the course of the next thirty minutes she tried to condense the entire nine season series of The Office into one barely coherent rant. Eventually, she realized that I wasn’t following along as closely as she’d hoped, and just decided to start the show over.

I didn’t mind. She chastised me a few times for not paying close enough attention after catching me monitoring her reactions more than the show itself. But eventually she fell asleep on my chest, still murmuring about Jim and Pam until the words were just gibberish.

Without her commentary, I was forced to pay attention so that when she undoubtedly woke up and quizzed me, I wouldn’t just be repeating words I’d heard in the background. Somewhat unsurprisingly, I found myself swept up in the romantic storyline of her two favorite characters. So caught up, in fact, that when she woke up, it took me a moment to notice.

“What did I miss?” She grumbled, trying to force her eyes open while she turned to see the tv that displayed the immediate results of a very poorly timed love confession. “Oh, Casino Night.” Her voice was nostalgic and a bit solemn while she spoke. “This is one of my favorite episodes.”

“Why? It’s so sad.”

Without looking up at me, she pondered the question. It was obvious she’d never really thought to question why she was drawn to it. Her answer didn’t provide any comfort or explanation.

“I guess I relate to it. Loving someone like that.” She shrugged before turning back to rest her head against me. She’d said it so easily, like it wasn’t something jarring for me to hear. I realized then that she’d never told me about her past relationships. In fact, I didn’t even know if any existed.

She sensed the anxieties that were building and brought a hand to my cheek to reroute my gaze to her. “What’s wrong?”

“You… You never really talk to me about your life.” My voice was so pathetic, the pout on my lips so childish in its sadness. Because although I told myself I was only upset she hadn’t told me about it, another part of me was also jealous at the idea that anyone else ever got to hold her.

And what a stupid thought that was, to be jealous of men who didn’t get to keep her. I should have been hoping that she had people who loved her and held her and made her happy, not wishing none had existed.

“What are you talking about? We talk about it all the time.” She chuckled, clearly unaware of my inner debate and turmoil.

“I mean your life before me.” I clarified, taking her hand into mine and watching as she carefully wound our fingers together.

“Oh, well… Who cares? It’s in the past.”

She was using that voice that warned me that she was about to try and change the subject. She hadn’t meant to get this conversation started, and now it was quickly getting away from her. But I wasn’t ready to drop it—especially now that I was aware of a huge, life altering event that she’d managed to keep hidden until now.

“I care. If it’s important to you, it matters to me.” It didn’t seem to reassure her, a lopsided smile covering her cheeks before she tried to maneuver away from the topic again.

“What time is it? Shouldn’t you be going to sleep?”

I held up the small notepad that rested on her nightstand, displaying the several timestamps that I could tell were meant to signal the last time she’d taken painkillers. “I was waiting so I could offer you medicine.”

“Ugh, yes please.” She groaned, moving herself off me so that I could grab the bottles beside her bed.

But there was something I’d noticed before, which only became more obvious once I picked them up. I looked past the orange plastic, my mind straining to count the number of pills inside. The date didn’t match the amount.

“Did you fill the narcotics?”

She didn’t answer.

“Is that why he was here?”

“No.” She responded swiftly, shaking her head and rubbing her temples.

The mention of him brought out feelings that I’d almost forgotten, and with those feelings came stupid worries and questions. “...Why was he here?” I mumbled, turning the pill bottles in my hand like I didn’t already have them memorized.

“Are you jealous?” She teased, poking her tongue out at me. It worked to turn my pout into an awkward half-smile, but I was still sulking.

“Would he have really stayed in the bed with you?”

“What? No!” She shouted, sitting up fast enough that she winced, her hand grabbing her stomach but still talking through clenched teeth. “Did he say that?!”

Her reaction alone made me laugh, easing the tension and reminding me it was stupid to worry about it in the first place. “He might have implied it.” My hands started to sort through her tangled hair, gently arranging it back to its rightful place.

“Ugh, he’s such a fucking dick.” She grumbled, wiping her face to try and get rid of the sudden anger.

Meanwhile, I was once again distracted. It was obvious in the way she struggled to keep her eyes open and preventing her hands from turning to fists. She was in way too much pain for my comfort, and it was partially my fault for getting her riled up over something so silly.

But she hadn’t told me she filled the narcotics, and she didn’t tell me where they were. I needed to respect that, if only because I was scared that it might make her doubt me. When she turned to look me in the eyes, I held her cheek that fit so perfectly in the palm of my hand.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me where they are. I understand.”  

“No, it’s fine. I trust you, Spencer. It’s…” The troubled look shifted to a shaky smile. “They’re in my bedside table. I don’t think I can get them myself.”

I tried not to look excited by the reveal in case she misinterpreted my happiness. It wasn’t the drugs I cared about – it was the fact she trusted me with the fact that they existed. That was enough to carry me through any cravings that popped up. They were few, but like always, they were there.

I funneled those feelings into my caretaking, grabbing her a water bottle and helping her ease back down onto the pillow after she’d down the pills. With a sigh, she closed her eyes, listening to soft sound of the theme song in the background.

Just as I shifted my focus back to the TV, she brought me back to her with a tiny whisper.

“You have nothing to be jealous of.”

I looked down to see she still had closed eyes, now accompanied with a genuine smile. I laughed at the sight, and her eyelids fluttered open at the sound. She narrowed her eyes into a suspicious glare.

“Yeah, I... may or may not have said that.” I admitted, wiggling my fingers between hers.

“Tsk tsk tsk. Very cocky, Dr. Reid.” She chastised, squeezing my hand tighter and bringing it up to her chest. I could feel her heart beating softly against us, her chest slowly rising and falling as she started to try to drift off again.

“What else did you guys talk about?”

“Nothing that matters. Let’s go to sleep.”

It was a suggestion that didn’t need to be made, because she was basically already asleep by the time she replied, “Okay. I love you.”

“Sweet dreams, little girl.”

—————————————————

The best part of the week was waiting for the chance to spend two uninterrupted days with (y/n). But this time it was different; when I left her house this morning, she told me she wanted some time to herself.

I tried to ignore the fifty alarm bells that rang in my head, convincing myself that she just needed a break from entertaining me. We all needed alone time sometimes, right?

No, that was a lie. I didn’t ever need a break from her, and it worried me that she needed one from me. Was I stressing her out? Were there more secrets she was keeping from me? It had to be something heavy if she didn’t want me to know, but that’s exactly the time she would need me most, right?

It was times like this when I wished that I had more experience with relationships; I was panicking and I didn’t want to ask anyone for help. I didn’t want to. I was scared that they might tell me the wrong thing, or the right thing. I was worried they might talk some sense into me and tell me that waiting outside my girlfriend’s apartment was creepy, stalkerish behavior.

I knew it was. I tried to justify it with a present that I was going to leave on her doorstep and leave. But when I got to her place, a dread filled me. I shouldn’t have come. She deserved her privacy and my trust. She’d earned it, and it wasn’t right for me to doubt her.

So, I turned my car back on and prepared to leave. But before I could, I saw her. Alone.

We’d talked about it before, and she’d promised me she wouldn’t go anywhere alone. The risks were too high – not just that she might fall or get stranded, but that something could go seriously wrong. Her stitches could tear, or she could overexert herself. She could get into a car crash and no one would know about her already existing internal damage.

She wasn’t supposed to go anywhere alone. She’d promised me. But there she was, climbing into her car after suspiciously glancing around. Her car left so quickly, I barely had time to think about the ethics of following her. After a few seconds of wrestling with myself, I decided to just do it and worry about the consequences later.

I’d admit it to her later, when she was safe and sound. Maybe it would be good, too, to see that she was fine without me. I just wished she’d told me so I could come to her aid if she needed me to.

After nearly twenty minutes of driving, I still had no idea where she was going. I was a little surprised she hadn’t noticed me yet, which just goes to show she probably shouldn’t have been driving.

Actually, was she on narcotics?

My mind was spinning, my hands shaking when she finally pulled into a small, unfamiliar cemetery parking lot off the side of the road.

For all her paranoia leading up to this point, she didn’t check the other cars in the lot when she got out. Instead, she put her hand on her stomach and slowly made her way through the gate, hobbling off into the field.

And then I felt terrible for so many reasons. I selfishly felt awful that she didn’t want to bring me here. It hurt that I was violating her trust like this, but it hurt worse to know she was going through it alone.

Leaning back in my seat, I let out a shaky breath and closed my eyes, trying to calm down the emotional disaster of my mind. I didn’t need to follow her, I thought. She would come back in a little while, and I could watch her get back in her car. She would make it home, and I could call her and ask her how her day was. Maybe she’d even tell me herself.

God, I was such an idiot. I shouldn’t have come, but now I was here, and I couldn’t leave, either. This was the time she was most likely to be in danger, since the cemetery was relatively empty.

Just as that thought occurred to me, another car pulled in. it wouldn’t have mattered much to me, but the thing that followed caught my attention.

The woman inside the car climbed out and made a beeline to (y/n)’s car, peering into the windows and taking photos of the license plate. At first, I did nothing, trying to keep track of everything that was happening, noting the unfamiliar woman’s license plate number in turn.

But then she took off in the same direction my girlfriend had left in, and I realized that I couldn’t just wait here. This woman clearly knew her, and from the looks of it, it was not going to be a friendly encounter.  

This is why, I thought. This is why I made her promise.

I couldn’t just run out after her yet, so I followed as closely as I could without being clearly visible, relying on sounds, instead. But what I heard was somehow even more distressing than when I could see.

“What are you doing here?! You aren’t allowed to be here!” A scratchy, unfamiliar voice rang through the air. Even if I didn’t already know, her tone alone told me that a fight was about to follow.

I bit down on my tongue, trusting that (y/n) could handle herself. She’d done it before me, and she could do it now. The only thing worse than revealing my presence would be doing it while also discrediting her.

“Mrs. Loughton! I can explain!”

At least I finally had a name for the face, but that was about as far as my thoughts went before they turned to red. Because the only thing I could hear after that was the sound of skin against skin, and the gentle thud of someone hitting the ground.

“Get the hell out of here, you bitch!” The woman screeched, and by the time I came into view, I saw my girlfriend on her hands and knees, holding the very visible red mark on her face. Neither of them saw me, too caught up in each other to notice.

It was the panic on her face, the way she lifted both hands to cover her head when the woman grabbed a fistful of her hair that broke my silence.  

“Hey! Get away from her!” I shouted, running over to the two women. Mrs. Loughton released (y/n)’s hair, causing her to drop back onto her hands and knees while she looked up at me with an angry, frazzled stare.

“Spencer?!”

“Who the hell are you?” The woman spat, redirecting her anger towards me. I much preferred it this way.

“I’m a law enforcement agent, and you just assaulted someone.”

“Assault? Ha!” She laughed, talking over me as if she’d heard the speech a million times before. I got the impression this wasn’t the first time the two have had a showdown. “That’s funny, considering.”

“Spencer, please leave.” The fear overtook any other emotion, and the tears welled so quickly in her eyes it hurt my chest. I couldn’t leave. There was no way I could leave her on her knees in front of this woman.  

“Let me guess, are you one of her dad’s friends?” She sneered, but all I could hear was (y/n) continuing to plead.

“Spencer. Go away.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” I couldn’t breathe, my chest heaving with unbridled rage, confusion, and something else I couldn’t even place.

“Oh I bet you are one of his friends. Always protecting her. You’re all a bunch of pathetic, power-hungry lowlifes.”

(Y/n) stood up now, neither of us paying any attention to the raving woman while I tried to help her up. “Please, I want to leave.” She pleaded, grabbing my hand so tightly that it trembled.

“Are you a murderer, too?”

“What are you talking about?!” I snapped, my arms wrapping possessively around (y/n) like I could shield her from everything that was happening. But I couldn’t, and I heard her soft sobs while she pulled on my shirt, now wet with her tears.

“That stupid, selfish little bitch knows exactly what she did, and she knows that she’s not allowed anywhere near here!” Her face was red, her arms waving and tears sprouting in her eyes while she ran out of breath. Then, deathly quiet, she pursed her lips and tried to bite her tongue. But she couldn’t, the words bursting through when she saw the way I held (y/n).

“If you really are a law enforcement agent, then get her the fuck out of here! She’s not allowed on this property!”

“She hasn’t done anything!”

It was the wrong thing to say, and she let me know swiftly and with full force.

“She’s the reason my son is dead!” She shrieked, stepping towards me with an accusing finger in my face. “It was her friends, her drugs, her horrible decisions and now my baby is gone!”

I hated this part. Because as much as I loved (y/n), it was impossible not to hear the absolute devastation in this woman’s voice. And the longer she talked, the more I understood what was happening. Not enough to argue back, but enough to feel sympathy for them both.

More than anything, I wanted to protect (y/n), but I didn’t know how. I held her tighter, trying to show her that she was safe. I’m afraid it had the opposite effect, and she started to fight my embrace.

“It should have been her! She should follow in her father’s footsteps and do the world a favor and...” She cut herself off, knowing the weight of her words and contemplating them a moment longer before making her decision. “And just fucking disappear!”

The shock of it all caused my arms to loosen – just barely. It was enough, though, and before I knew it (y/n) had burst from my arms, taking off at full speed through the headstones.

“(Y/n)!” I choked, going to run after her, but I was stopped one final time.

“Yeah, get the hell out of here.” The woman behind me softly sobbed, trembling as the fight left her. “Go protect her like you always do. They always do.”

I couldn’t stay on the thought; I’d have to come back to it later, because there were more pressing concerns for me than a stranger who’d just hurt the woman I loved. So I turned around and booked it after her just as she slipped through the gate and disappeared into the cover of the woods around the cemetery.

Naturally, she couldn’t stay on the level, manicured grass. My heart was pounding not just at the energy exerted to follow her, but from all the different things that could go wrong. She could fall, she could run into something, she could get lost.

But luckily, even the adrenaline couldn’t stop the pain in her stomach, and she’d barely gotten anywhere before I caught up to her. I loosely caught her wrist, pulling her gently back to me before she nearly collapsed in my arms.

“(Y/n), where do you think you’re going? You can’t be running like this! Especially not here; it’s way too dangerous!” I said through my labored breaths. Then we stopped, and she protested at my touch.

“Hey, are you okay?” I asked calmer now, lifting her back onto her feet. “Did she hurt you?” When I went to lift her shirt to inspect her wound, she brought her hand down in a hard slap.

“Stop, Spencer! Just fucking stop! Don’t touch me! Get away from me!”

The venom dripped from her tongue and burned my skin, my hands jumping back away from her as I took a step back. All the negative emotions that I’d just watched her go through were growing and morphing into a painful anger, and it was all aimed at me.

I deserved it.

“Why the fuck are you even here?! I told you I wanted to be alone today, a-and now you’re what, y-you’re following me?!”

I wished I could just shut up, but the words flowed out of me like I had any right to be angry with her over a promise that didn’t even seem to matter anymore. “And it’s a good thing I did. That woman could have seriously hurt you!”

“Who cares!”

“I do!” My voice strained at the volume I used to match hers. Our angry shouting disrupted the wildlife and broke through the sounds of cars traveling on the highway on the other side of the trees. “You might not care about what happens to you, (y/n), but it matters to me!”

“Why the fuck are you yelling at me?!” And then the sniffles turned to outright sobs, her whole body shaking, her hands cradling her face while she struggled under the weight of everything that had happened so quickly.

I shouldn’t have come here, but I was glad I had. I wished none of this had happened. I just wanted to hold her, but she stepped away when I got closer, defensively covering her head. My heart shattered at the thought of her being scared of me.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” I said genuinely, my voice still breaking, but now at an acceptable volume. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t be yelling, I-I just… I got scared. I thought you were going to get hurt again and I—“

“Sometimes I’m going to get hurt, Spencer. I can’t put my life on hold for your comfort. I’m only twenty years old. I’m not ready to be a housewife waiting at home for you!” She was quick, stumbling over her words and waving her arms between us in the hopes it would force me to keep my distance.

I didn’t want to hurt her, I never wanted that. And right now, it was very obvious that’s exactly what I was doing.  “Of course. I want you to have a life, but you…”

Her hand was back on her stomach, and the action caused a sudden panic that overwhelmed the logic and sense. “You were shot!” I cried, “You almost died in my arms! I thought I was going to lose you, forever.”

She couldn’t reply yet, her lungs too busy trying to take in hungry breaths without irritating the hardly healed skin.

I clenched my eyes shut, unable to look at it any longer. “It’s been barely a month, (y/n). A-And you’re already sneaking around behind my back and putting yourself in danger and I don’t know how I’m supposed to just turn a blind eye to that.”

“I don’t want to talk to you right now.” She panted; the words hardly audible. Her skin was damp with sweat from the pain that was obviously written all over her.

This time, when I stepped closer, she couldn’t move away. I didn’t hold her yet, opting instead to place one hand on her hip and the other on the side of her face. She sighed, resting her head against my hand. She said she didn’t want to talk to me, but the way she closed her eyes and her heartrate immediately calmed down with the simplest touch told me that she wanted nothing more than for me to pick her up and take her home.

“I know you’re trying to distract me from whatever the hell just happened out there, but you don’t have to do that.” I whispered, gently wiping away her tears with my thumb. “If you don’t want to talk about it, we don’t have to.”

“Oh, you’re just going to let it go?” I couldn’t decide what was more simultaneously heartbreaking and adorable, her pauses to sniffle, or the way she pouted as she spoke. “You aren’t going to ask me every night until you get an answer?”

“If that’s what it takes for you to trust me again, then yes. I’ll let it go.” I reassured her. She took the answer with an immense amount of relief, leaning forward to rest all of her body weight against me. I tried to stop her from falling too far or too hard, hoping to ease the pain that was already wrecking her.

But she didn’t even seem to notice, rubbing her face against my shirt and further soaking it with tears. I just wanted her to be okay, and I wished I could do it faster. For now, all I could do was pet the back of her head, rocking just a bit to the side in a soothing manner.

We stayed like that for a long time, and I occasionally pressed a kiss to her forehead, whispering soft apologies to her and telling her that I loved her, no matter what. Eventually, she responded, her voice filled with guilt and shame again.

“I was going to tell you eventually.”

“I believe you.” I immediately responded, pulling her back to look at me to know that I was telling her the truth. “I love you. You know that, right?”

She gave the tiniest, saddest nod back.

“I would never try to hurt you.” I promised, earning a slanted smile. I mirrored it back to her, which made her laugh.

The sounds of the highway paired with the rustling of the leaves, and the two of us shared a quiet moment of understanding. Because I knew I shouldn’t have come, but I was glad I was there, and she felt very much the same.

“I’d like to go home, please.”

“Okay.” I agreed, taking her hand and maneuvering the woods that didn’t seem nearly as dangerous when her hand was in mine. “Let’s go home.”

—————————————————

“Hotch, I need to ask you for a favor.”

The man didn’t even look up from his desk, and I could tell from his posture that he wasn’t in the mood for the conversation he expected to follow. I couldn’t blame him; I hadn’t been the easiest employee to have for the past couple of weeks.

“Reid, we’ve talked about this. You either have to come back completely or—“

“No, sorry, this… isn’t about that.” I corrected, trying to ease the tension before it got any worse. Unfortunately, he still seemed combative, although there was now a guilt mixed in the frustration.

“I need to talk to you about (y/n)’s father.” I clarified, my voice breaking mid-sentence. I cleared my throat, trying to make eye contact despite the nerves gnawing at the little self-esteem I had.

But after a brief moment of thought, Hotch waved me forward, gesturing to the seat in front of him. He shoved the papers to the side and I wondered what it was he was working so hard on. I had a feeling it had to do with her, but I wasn’t going to ask.

“Does she know you’re asking me about this?”

It was the first question, and although I fully expected him to ask it, I still choked on an answer. He sighed deeply, his hands folding on his desk. He wasn’t able to look at me, either.

“Reid…”

“I-I’m really worried about her.” I needed him to hear the desperation in my voice, to feel just how scared I really was. I didn’t want to come running to him for every little thing involving her — he’d already done so much for her just fending off the prosecutors.

I knew we were both tired, but I could see it in his eyes and hear it in his tone when he talked about her that she meant something to him, too. Even if it wasn’t nearly as much, he’d known her when she was a kid.

Well, I guess to Hotch, she still was. I hated to exploit that knowledge, but I needed answers now. Before something else went horribly wrong. So I broke into a rant, my hands running through my hair and down my legs as I tried to prevent them from turning to fists at the memory.

“The other day she did something and she got into a physical altercation with another woman a-and she told (y/n) that she should follow her father’s footsteps and…” The word caught in my throat. He narrowed his eyes, and I suspected he already knew what I was about to say.

“Disappear.”

Across from the desk, he tensed, bowing his head to look at the files lining the surface in front of him. Every single one of them contained a plethora of information about someone’s family. Someone’s everything.

“What did she mean, Hotch?”

“Reid, the information in that file is not only classified, it’s extremely personal. I’m sure she doesn’t know all the details herself. I think it’s best for you to hear it from her.” He explained it so robotically, I could tell he didn’t want to be saying it. The way his jaw clenched told me that there was a lot he wished he could discuss about whatever the hell happened.

It must be a lonely way to live, I thought. And then I thought of her, carrying the weight of uncertainty on top of whatever Hotch held. She was strong, but she was young. She had been even younger then, and she wouldn’t have had the one man who’d taught her to survive to teach her how to handle what came next.

I wrung my hands together. I didn’t mean to be manipulative, but tears stung at my eyes. They were real, and they were persuasive.

“I just need to know that she’s safe.” I begged. “But your reaction isn’t telling me that at all. In fact, it’s telling me the exact opposite.”

Now that I’d started, the words wouldn’t stop.

“If my girlfriend is in danger, I need to know. It’s not like I care about the mission or whatever her father was wrapped up in — I-I just want to know what happened to him. This woman knew, so apparently it’s not that classified!”

My voice grew in volume, and I couldn’t do anything about it. I could feel his face morph into a scowl even as I clenched my eyes tightly shut. There was so much I hated about this, but nothing more than knowing that despite everything I’ve done, I still couldn’t reach out to her and help her when she needed me.

I was still failing her, and I didn’t know how to fix it.

“Reid, stop.”

Hotch must have been able to read my mind, because something inside of him also snapped, the tension releasing from his shoulders and his jaw. I wondered if it was because he trusted me not to give it away, or if it was because he trusted her.

Either way, he spoke, his voice low and hushed.

“I need you to understand that what I’m about to tell you has never been confirmed, and should not be shared outside of this room. Even with her.”

Sitting up with a straight back and a heavy swallow, I nodded.

“I understand.”

—————————————————

| Part 17 |

[kiribaku-queen]

Unexpected [4/8]

Pairing: Dabi x reader, Hawks x reader, Touya x reader

Fluff, angst, AU

Word count: 4.1K

A/N: Happy Monday! I already have a new idea for the next series and I literally can’t wait to share it with you guys! But I really need to finish writing this series before thinking about anything else! I would love to know your thoughts so far and let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

Summary: Being quirkless wasn’t so bad. Especially when you had two badass best friends that had amazing quriks to make up for it. That is until one of them breaks your heart by disappearing in thin air. And the other breaks your heart by wanting to focus on his hero work. After coming back to Japan after studying abroad for 5 years, you were in for a whirlwind of surprises.

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

You sat in the chair for what seemed like hours. Still staying in the same position: arms and feet tied to the chair. The only thing that was different was that they took off your blindfold and the cloth that was covering your mouth. But it was dead silent in the room. You had the opportunity to look at each person in the room.

First, it was that guy that took the blindfold off you. He was casually leaning against the cold, hard, brick wall, eyes glued to the floor. Occasionally, he would glance up at you but other than that, he didn’t do or say much. Then there was a creepy guy sitting at the bar with a hand covering his face. God, you could feel the hairs on your arms stand up in fear. Could he even see behind that hand? Behind the bar, a guy? A guy or figure that had a dark purple mist around him and beaming yellow things for eyes stood. You had no idea what he was. But, at least he had a good sense of style out of everyone here. It was odd that he was the only one wearing a suit.

On the left side of the room, stood a blonde-haired girl with buns in her hair. She wore a school outfit. A high schooler? She didn’t look like she was also kidnapped. Why was she involved in this type of crime at her age? Next to her was a guy who looked like a spiderman wannabe. Colors were off and dull, but same concept. Maybe he was just inspired? And finally, leaning against the doorframe of the only hallway in sight, a lizard-like man. He had his arms crossed against his chest, eyes looking like they wanted to kill. You couldn’t help think if you were going to get out of here alive.

“I guess he’s not coming. What now, Tomura,” the girl with buns asks lazily, looking over at their leader. He grunts and starts to scratch his neck in a violent matter. The sound of his dull nails itching at his skin made you physically cringe.

“What do we do? The plan won’t work if he doesn’t show up,” he talks to himself. The scratching was getting more violent and louder by the second. You couldn’t bare to listen anymore.

“He’ll show up,” you said aloud. That grabbed everyone’s attention. It even shocked you. Shit, why did you have to say anything at all. Now everyone had their eyes on you. You bit your lower lip out of nervousness, anxiously waiting what they were going to say, or even worse, do to you. You saw movement out of the corner of your eye. Looking in that direction, you saw the guy with bruises all over him push himself off the wall. He was coming towards you.

“Yeah? How do you know that for sure?” he asks, almost in a joking way. You gained a bit of confidence to challenge him.

“Because he…” but you paused. Because he loved you? Would you even call it that? The man smirked. He walks up behind you and whispers in your ear, like he was reading your mind.

“…loves you?” he started to laugh. “Look around, doll. If he loved you, he’d be here by now to rescue you.” Was it that simple? You’ve never been kidnapped before? How long does it usually take for pro-heroes to save people? You started to get fidgety. All Might saved his student from the League of Villains within a day or two. Did you have to wait a few days? Would you even survive that long? “I don’t think your little boyfriend loves you, he’s not even here.” He continued to taunt you. But it was working. You started to believe in his words. You started to lose hope that Hawks was going to come save you.

“If you’re so sure he’s not coming, then what should we do. Kill her?” Shigaraki said that so nonchalantly.

“Tomura, let me! I miss the sight of blood,” the high schooler spoke up, looking all excited. She took out a sharp utensil and caressed it with the utmost care. Before she could take another step towards you, the tall man behind you, well now in front of you, stops her.

“Just keep her captive. If we kill her, he won’t show up. Don’t kill her, he shows up, we’ll get what we want,” he explains like it was common sense. The room was silent. No objections anywhere. It was either that they agreed with the plan or they just didn’t care. Whatever, because you were saved to live a bit longer. “Spinner, take her to the basement.”

Spinner gets up from his place and roughly grabs your arms. Without saying anything to you, he’s already dragging you to the hallway and down some stairs to the basement. While he was dragging you there in a very forceful manner, you couldn’t help but look back at that man. You couldn’t help but think of Touya.

The basement was cold. Nothing but concrete and metal all around. Your room was no different. Concrete floor with metal-like walls. It looked like a prison cell but more spacious. The only thing in the room was a bed and a desk with a chair. You were even surprised they kept you in such a nice room for a hostage. As soon as Spinner put you in that room and closed the room, tears immediately streamed down your face. And they wouldn’t stop. They couldn’t. What kind of situation were you in right now? How did you get put in this situation? Out of everyone, it had to be you. How unlucky…

You slowly walked to the bed and sat down. You felt like your life just ended. And what’s even worse, it was so fucking cold in this damn room! A knock was placed on your door. The sound rang throughout the room, causing you to jump and look at the door. The door opened and revealed the dark haired man with scars all over. Initial confusion was written on your face because why is he here? But then you quickly turned around, back facing him. You didn’t want to see anybody. And no matter how much he reminded you of your childhood friend, he was still a villain. They still kidnapped you and brought you were against your will.

Dabi entered your room with a blanket in hand. He knew it was cold down here. Hell, they never brought anyone down here because they never had any hostages stay this long. He extended his hand, offering the blanket to you.

“Here. Thought you might need it. Don’t want you freezing to death.” He stated. No reply from you. You couldn’t even look at him. That didn’t faze him at all though. You didn’t take the blanket? Fine. He tossed it on the bed behind you and was about to leave you alone. But he stared at you for a while longer. You heard his retreating footsteps and thought he had left. So you turned around to grab the blanket, only to see him staring at your every move. You made eye contact with him and every time you did that, your mind just gets lost in those familiar blue eyes. Dabi doesn’t say anything when you turn around. Instead, he finally walks out the door. When you hear the door click shut, you grabbed the blanket and fully laid out on the bed. And cried. You were like that the next day. And the day after that. You felt so alone and trapped in this small cell space. All you wanted was to go home. And you never thought you would say that so desperately. The basement was still cold. But you were… a little bit thankful that he brought down this extra blanket. Without it, you probably would have frozen your toes off.

When you think of the League of Villains, you think of terrible people. Hurting, attacking and killing others for their own enjoyment. You think of these scary people who don’t care about anyone but themselves. But were they really like that? You couldn’t help but question your entire mentality. Yes, you were intimidated and scared of these people when you were initially kidnapped. But they were nicer and more caring that you thought?

Every day for breakfast, lunch and dinner, one member of the League of Villains would bring you a plate of food. Depending on who brought you food, they would either leave it by the door for you to get whenever you want, or come inside your room and leave it by the desk. They didn’t even try to harm you. But maybe it was your imagination? Maybe they were forced to bring you food and they weren’t doing it out of the kindness of their hearts. Whatever the reason, you refused to eat any of it. You couldn’t stomach the fact that they might have poisoned it or did something with your food. No matter how delicious the food looked or how amazing it smelled, you didn’t want to eat. Either put you through torture like how villains usually are, or be nice and let you go. Like pick one! They were so bipolar in their actions.

You heard the door creak open. Was it time for lunch already? You heard someone place your food on the desk like always and you were expecting them to leave. Like always. But no. You also heard the chair come out from under the desk and someone sat in it. This left you confused and a little scared. You took a peak over your shoulder to look at the food. God it looked amazing. Like a home cooked meal. Then you looked a tad higher to come face-to-face with the same man who gave you the blanket.

“You should eat. You’re going to die if you don’t eat,” he comments. You scoff. Always talking about dying. Is there nothing else for a villain to talk about? Yet, you don’t move from your spot. The food did look tempting but you were going to keep strong and refuse their food. You heard him sigh. “Then you leave me no choice.” He scoots the chair closer enough that it’s touching the bed side and grabs the bowl of soup that was on the tray. He picks up the spoon, dips it in the soup and reaches out to you. “I’ll just have to feed you.” You look at him and then at the spoon.

“I can do it myself,” you mutter and turn your head away from him again.

“Then do it,” he demanded, but in a soft, gentle tone. Your stomach was growling and you knew he wouldn’t leave until you ate a bit of the food. So, you grabbed the spoon from his hand and started drinking the soup. The warmness of the soup traveled down your throat, leaving a nice, burning sensation. It immediately warmed you up and you went in for another bite. This time, admiring the taste. For being captured, they sure were feeding you well. Upon seeing how well you were eating, Dabi continued to watch you eat. He wanted to make sure you ate everything. You knew he was staring at you. Every time you looked up, he was looking right back at you. You couldn’t stare right back at him so you continued to eat your food in silence. Damn those blue eyes. The more you looked at him, the more you were convincing yourself that it was him. But you knew it wasn’t.

You were finishing up your last bit of food. When you had your last bite and put the spoon down, you let out a puff of satisfaction because you hadn’t eaten anything for days. You were happily satisfied. At least your stomach was. You looked up. He was leaning forward, elbows propped on his knees. He had a smirk on his face. He reached his hand out and before you had time to react to what he was doing, he pats your hair. Once. Twice. And tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. That’s when you knew.

“Touya?” you called out his name in a voice so weak, that was longing out for him. All he did was smirk. He grabbed the tray of empty dishes and walked out. Right before he could leave, he stops in his tracks.

“You’re free to roam around. It doesn’t look like you’re leaving anytime soon. Don’t try to escape though. We got eyes on you at all times,” he informs you and leaves without another word, leaving you perplexed. He neither agreed or denied the fact that he was Touya. But you were more confident than ever in your answer. Now all that’s left is all these questions. How? Why? When? Everything you thought about Touya, about his disappearance and what he was doing now was altered to this twisted reality. A reality that you couldn’t believe. But it was somewhat relieving to know that he was alive. And doing well? If you would call it that.

He said that you were free to roam around. It sounded tempting. Afterall, you were tired of your room. It was stuffy inside and it started getting claustrophobic. And you had no idea where you were. You would like to know, at least, your surroundings and what you were dealing with. But you were stuck at the door. If you left and walked through those doors, what would be waiting out there for you? Would there by villains waiting to attack? Would they harass you? Was it even worth looking around just to stretch your legs? You were scared. You were paranoid. But who wouldn’t be in this situation? You kept debating if you really wanted to leave or not. One moment, you gathered enough courage, but as soon as you touched that doorknob, you were cowering back to your bed.

You didn’t have windows but you were getting pretty good at telling the time, despite not knowing how dark or light it was outside. You decided to wait until it was the middle of the night to go out and explore, where you knew very little people would be out. Or at least you hoped. When you deemed that it was safe enough, you finally cracked open your prison cell. You peeked your head out, cautious for anyone that was around. Because once you heard someone come your way, you were going back straight to your safe space. But it was quiet. And dark. Thank god. You sighed a sigh of relief and fully opened your door. You were more likely to get caught if you didn’t leave without a mission. So, you decided to look around all while trying to get a snack and you would immediately retreat back to your room.

You slowly and stealthily moved up the stairs. No one was around. God, your heart was racing. You made it to the top of the stairs no problem and entered a familiar room. It was the bar area where you first woke up to and all those villains were surrounding you. Chills ran up your spine just thinking about it. Now wasn’t the time to reminisce about that. You were on a mission to find food!

The room had a full bar. There has to be at least something there you could bring back to your room. Alcohol, sure. But there was no point in getting drunk. You searched and searched but to no avail. There was no food at the bar. But you didn’t want to search more of the place. You had a gut feeling you were going to get caught. So you decided to just take a water bottle from the mini fridge and call it a day. You were walking down the hallway and almost made it to the stairs when you froze. Completely froze. You broke out in cold sweat and you swore your heart could leap out at any moment. A villain. A villain was right in front of you. It was that spiderman wannabe. He, too, froze in his spot, looking straight at you. Shit! What were you going to do now? You were so close to not being caught but look at you now. Stupid, you should have never left your room. As you were mentally cursing and fighting with yourself, the villain brought his hand up and you braced yourself for the worst.

“Cookie?” he asks. You look at the item in his hand and it was an individually wrapped cookie. You kind of just stared at the snack, not believing your ears. Was this a dream? A villain was offering you a snack? Was he not going to hurt you? The villain lifted his hand a bit, letting you know that you could take the snack. You did and bowed a bit to him.

“Thank you,” you softly say. He just nods his head to acknowledge you and walks past you, whistling a tune like no one was there. As soon as he past you, you darted down the stairs and ran to your room. You slammed the door and slid down as your legs gave way. Your whole body was shaking in fear and you felt so weak. You were so scared and shook so much that you just cried. It might have been a nice encounter now but who knows what would have happened if it was somebody else. They probably wouldn’t have been as nice. They could have killed you on the spot for all you know.

Leaving your room for the first time was the hard part. But, day by day, you got more confidence to leave your room. You even left your room during the day. Sure, it was uncomfortable at first and you retreated back to your room a lot of the time, but they never did anything to you. They didn’t really pay any mind to you. They saw you. And went about their own business. Although, with that being said, you could still feel their eyes on you at all times. The villains might not talk to you or necessarily follow you around, but they were keeping an eye on you. Just in case you did something that threatens them. Some of them came and went. You were guessing to do some villainish activities. But, they lived like normal people to you. You saw some play video games, one looked like she was doing school work, and the others were just hanging out. It was a sight that you wouldn’t expect from the most wanted villain group in the country.

It was dark out, you assumed. Everyone had their fair share of dinner and was going to their own rooms. As for you, you were also headed back to your room in the basement, when you saw a certain someone out of the corner of your eye. While everyone else was headed up the stairs to their rooms, he was going up a metal ladder. One that you didn’t even notice that was there. Out of all the villains present, he was the one who didn’t scare you. It was actually the opposite. So, out of curiosity, you followed him up the ladder.

The ladder led right to the rooftop where he was laying down, looking at the sky. You poked your head through the hole and was shocked to reveal the outside world. The cool, night breeze hit you by surprise but it was refreshing. It’s been so long since you got a bit of fresh air and you weren’t going to lie, if you could jump off this building to get your freedom back, you would.

“Don’t even think about it, Doll,” he suddenly said. You snapped your head in his direction. He was still looking up at the sky with his hand comfortably resting behind his head. “If you try to run, I can easily catch you.” Yeah, you knew that. No matter how much of a desire to run away you had, you already knew the outcome a mile away. Yet, you were a little shocked that he read your mind so easily. This caused you to become a little embarrassed and you just stood there on the ladder. Sensing that you were still at the entrance to the rooftop, he glances at you and then at the empty spot next to him. Did he want you to sit with him? Hesitant, but you made your way to lay down next to him.

It was silent. For a long while, neither of you spoke. You took glances once in a while at the man beside you. You wanted to ask him about his true identity so bad, but you were nervous for some reason. So you continued to look at the stars to calm you down. The way the stars blinked bright in the sky calmed your beating heart and cleared your head. Then you finally gathered the courage.

“Touya?” you called out his name and glanced up at him. Finally, he looked at you, his face expressionless. “It’s you, isn’t it Touya?” You were begging for it to be true. He looks back up with a soft smile.

“I go by Dabi now,” he says. So you were right. But Dabi?

“I don’t like that name,” you comment without thinking. Your face scrunches up in regret, but Dabi chuckles at your action.

“Always one to speak with whatever comes to mind. You haven’t changed one bit.” He comments. But you frown.

“Yeah, but you have. What happened?” you ask softly, genuine concern could be heard in your voice. You flipped over on your stomach to face him better. It takes him a while to say anything. He was thinking of where to even start and how to say it.

“My father happened.” He starts. That leaves you confused. How did his father, pro-hero Endeavor, cause his downfall? What could he have possibly done to make Touya like this? “He was so obsessed with raising the perfect son who would surpass All Might. But you know my quirk. My flames are too hot for my body to handle. But he didn’t care. He trained me and pushed me to my limits until I was literally burning myself.” Dabi lifted his arms and showed off the purple burns. Subconsciously, you also touched them and he let you. You caressed his arms, softly letting your fingers run over the rough edges of his burn.

“I always loved your quirk,” you whispered as you played with his fingers. You felt saddened by his story. All of this was happening behind the scenes. And you didn’t know anything. You were his best friend yet you were kept in the dark. If you had known this was happening, you were sure you would have done something. It didn’t matter if you were young. If you did something, maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t have turned into a villain. “So when you came to school with those bandages, that was when…” you couldn’t bare to finish that sentence.

“Yeah…” you didn’t have to say the rest for him to understand. “I hated myself for yelling at you that day. But I hated my old man even more for making me like that. I swore to myself that I would get revenge. And that’s when I met Stain. He believed in purging this society of false heroes. My father was no hero. What better way to get my revenge by joining the greatest villain alive and get rid of a father that doesn’t deserve to be a hero?” His eyes lit up when he talked about his hero, Stain. All that caused him to join the villains. Your eyebrows furrowed deeper the more you hear his story. But words couldn’t explain the pain you felt in your heart. There was a rollercoaster of emotions but you felt all the emotions he was feeling.

“We all thought you were dead.”

“I ran away. They covered it up by saying that I was dead. But they probably didn’t even care to search for me.” Your heart broke when he said that. None of it was true. You couldn’t say for his family, but you searched for him. You waited outside his house for days just to get a glimpse of him to see if he was okay. You cared for him. And you needed to show him that you cared. Right now, Dabi might look like he was okay but deep down, he was hurting. He hasn’t healed from all the pain and torture he went through. There was only one way to show him that you still cared. You grabbed his face to look at you and connected your lips in hopes to heal the pain that he was feeling in his heart.

Tagged: @superblyspeedydragon @ditu-m9 @snuckerfrcnicken @flowersgirl02 @complicatedharry @seikamuzu @elsasshole @sugarandsoft @lysawayne @bestgirlkonan

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Meant To Be: Part 8

Pairings: Machine Gun Kelly x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, drug use

Word Count: 5,139

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you have everything we need?” Colson asked as he walked off stage in Japan after his last of four shows in the country.

“It’s all waiting in the car.” You said with a nod as you popped the locks on Gage’s stroller and turned it toward the exit door. “We gotta hurry.”

“I’m there. I’m there.” He said as he ripped off the battery pack to his headphones and tossed them on top of a speaker on his way out the door.

“Here.” Ashleigh said as she ran up with a small bag that had a change of clothes, a package of body wipes that had decent reviews on Amazon, and his wallet, passport, and cellphone. “Flight leaves in three hours and it’s still on time.”

“Where’s Sawyer?” You asked as you paused at the back door and turned around to look for her.

“I’m here!” She yelled as she came running from the bathroom while fixing her belt as she went. “We’re good.” She said with a nod as she pushed open the back door and stepped out of the way for you.

“Lawyer will be waiting for you at the airport in NC to go over your case.” Ashleigh continued as she followed you out to the waiting car. “I put all the paperwork you need in the diaper bag.”

“And our clothes?”

“I’ve got them in the back.” You said as you stopped at the back door of the SUV and pulled your sleeping son in his carseat off the stroller.

“Here, you don’t need to be lifting that shit.” Colson said as he took the carseat out of your hands and climbed into the back seat with it while Sawyer folded up the stroller and pushed it to the back with your bags.

“Good luck, guys.” Baze said as he stopped at the door and helped you and your slightly significant, 10 week along bump into the car. “We’ll see you in the UK.”

“Don’t kill anyone.” Slim laughed as he shot you a look. “And take care of our babies.”

“As opposed to what, leaving them on the tarmac?” You teased as you buckled in the carseat.

“You got this.” Rook said before kissing his girlfriend goodbye for a few days. “We’ll see you soon.”

“Alright, they gotta go.” Ash said as she pushed everyone back a couple steps to close the doors. You all said your goodbyes, and settled back into the seats for a moment as the driver pulled away from the venue and headed toward the airport.

“OK, check the paperwork again.” Colson said as he pulled open his bag and grabbed the body wipes to get the post concert sweat off his body without a shower.

“It’s all there.” Sawyer said as you turned in your spot and grabbed the diaper bag from the back. “And I threw copies in my bag as well. We’re gunna be…”

“Don’t say we’re gunna be fine.” You snapped as you looked up at her through your lashes as you previously calmer self completely unraveled. “Fuck, can everyone just stop saying that shit. I could lose my fucking son tomorrow and I could be signing my second child straight to my mother’s arms in the same fucking swing. Nothing’s fucking fine, here.”

“OK.” Sawyer said softly, not taking offense to your anger in that moment as you pulled out the paperwork and the outline you had meticulously written out for yourself to go over them again.

“Where are we starting?” Colson asked as he wiped his arms down roughly, to keep himself from shaking with the nervousness you had both felt for the past three weeks since you got the custody papers.

“The DCF case.” You said as you pulled the list free of the paperclip and set it on Gage’s lap between you and Colson. “I have the case notes from the investigator and our social worker and the screened out letter and copies of all of it.”

“Our social worker’s number is on there, right?” Kels asked as he pulled off his jeans and set them aside to ‘wash’ from his hips down.

“I have a copy of her card stapled to both copies of the case notes.” You said as you checked both copies to triple check that the cards were still there.

“Medical’s next?” Colson asked as he glanced at the back of Sawyer’s head to make sure her attention was elsewhere before stripping off his dirty boxers and grabbing clean ones.

“Birth certificate…” You started with a sigh as you moved the DCF paperwork to the bottom of the pile for the next group. “NICU records, hospital records, Cali pediatrician records, North Carolina pediatrician record and notes, Cali number two pediatrician records. Check, check, check, and check.”

“And the records for the new baby?”

“Got those too if the judge needs them.”

“OK.” Colson sighed with a nod as he pulled on his clean shirt and used another one of the wipes to try and get the sweat out of his hair and off his flushed face. “What’s next?”

“Next is Sawyer and her records. Then the video files, and after that is your tour schedules for last and this year, the tour photos, and the receipts for the house and the bus baby proofing.” You looked over at the father of your children as he sighed and let his hands fall into his lap.

“Fuck, man… please don’t take my fucking kids.” A sob caught in your throat and you looked out the window as he reached across to hold your hand on Gage’s stomach. You couldn’t say anything to comfort him, same as there was nothing more he could say to comfort you, and Sawyer simply stayed silent in the seat in front of you. Colson smoked a quick joint, making sure to blow his smoke out the window for you and Gage, and chain smoked two cigarettes in the few minutes it took Sawyer to check herself, you, and Kels in to your flight. With the carseat in one hand and the other on your back, he lead you through the airport behind his body guard, through security, and to the plane.

“I won’t get on another plane without him.” Colson said after nearly an hour of silence as he sat down in his first class seat with Gage in his arms. You looked over at him through stress related exhausted eyes as he brushed his thumb across his son’s cheek. “I’ll cancel the fucking tour, I’ll even fucking catch a charge for murder and live in a third world country with you for the rest of my Goddamn life. But I will not lose my family again. I won’t fucking make it.” You nodded with tears in your eyes as he looked up at you with a shake of his head.

“I’m with you.” You whispered as you put your hand on his knee with a nod. “Even if we have to Bonnie and Clyde the fuck out of this situation, I’m with you.”

“I love you.” He whispered as he shifted in his seat so you could lay your head down on his shoulder to cry yourself to sleep.

“I love you, too.”

——

“Hey, stay with me.” Colson said softly as he reached over and gently pushed on your jaw with his fingers so you would focus on him and not your mother at the next table as you waited for the judge. “Right here, baby girl.”

“I wanna just jump over this fucking table.” You growled under your breath as you held Gage on your lap as he bounced up and down on your slack covered thighs.

“And we’re not doing that because of the kids, right?” He clarified as he moved to purposely catch your eye as he himself fought his own urge to strangle your mother. You both startled the slightest bit when the bailiff told everyone to stand up, and you took a deep breath as you got to your feet for a moment.

“Be seated.” Judge Kevin Bosch said as he took a seat behind the raised bench in the corner of the small room. “We’re here today for a grandparent custodial claim?” He clarified as he looked at the court documentation your mother had submitted. 

“Yes sir.” Her lawyer, whose name you didn’t catch, said with a nod as he organized his papers at his table. “We have documentation proving that Mr. Colson Baker, aka Machine Gun Kelly, aka Kels, aka MGK and Ms. (Y/N) (Y/L/N) have severely neglected their son, Gage Michael Baker since they have left North Carolina and the safe environment my client had offered the child.”

“What evidence?” Judge Bosch asked as he looked up from the file on his desk when Gage started to ask for his juice. Sawyer, who was there to be a witness for you, jumped to her feet behind you and carefully took Gage from over the partition with a smile so that he wouldn’t disrupt the trial.

“She is their nanny, sir.” Your lawyer, Ally clarified for the judge with a smile as she sat almost perfectly still, biding her time until it was her turn to speak because she knew with all of your paperwork there was no way she was losing. The judge nodded his head and took the evidence your mother had brought with her.

“What am I looking at?” He asked as he looked away from Sawyer and Gage as they slipped out the door and down at the photos in his hand.

“Those are the living conditions of my daughter’s apartment.” Your mom said as she sat up a little more in her chair for her turn on the soap box. “Theres a few photos of a bruise on my grandson’s thigh from his father… who he lives with now. And there are a few photos that I had to find on the internet because she refused to let me see my grandson to check on his well being and instead, took him to rock show in the middle of a heat wave where there were drugs and drinking present. You can see my grandson’s father smoking marijuana in most of those photos and doing who knows what other drugs near my grandson. They are not fit parents, your honor.”

“If I may, your honor.” Ally said as she picked up your stack of paperwork. “The apartment that Mrs. (Y/L/N) is referring to is an apartment that my clients have not lived in in four years. I do, however have photographs from an unannounced DCF visit and from the professional company that installed their baby proofing in the house my clients and their son live in now. As far as the bruise Mrs. (Y/L/N) is referring to, I again, have documentation from a pediatrician here in North Carolina and a cell phone video that showed the incident happening. 

Mr. Baker was holding his son in the hotel room they had been staying in as my clients were working out some personal issues. Mr. Baker was dancing with his son and turned a little too sharply and Gage’s leg hit the edge of the bathroom door. Ms. (Y/L/N) and Mr. Baker immediately took their child to his doctor because they were both scared something bigger had happened besides just the simple bruise the child received, which wasn’t the case. We have the rest of the child’s medical records here as well for you to peruse if you so choose showing that there is no other incidents or any indication of physical abuse and that my clients have made and kept every appointment to date with their son’s pediatrician.”

“Let me see those.” Judge Bosch said as he set your moms photos to the side and held his hand out for your paperwork. Ally nodded and picked up the top two and the bottom sections of paper clipped papers to hand to the bailiff.

“The tour…” Colson tried to say but Ally shushed him softly and tapped his arm.

“Just wait.” She whispered as she pat his arm briefly. He nodded his head as you reached out and grabbed his hand when the judge started flipping quickly through your paperwork. Ally waited until he made it to the last packet before continuing. “Now, as far as Mrs. (Y/L/N)’s last point, along with the photos of the work my clients have done on their house, they have also done the same work on Mr. Bakers tour bus.”

“How often do you go on tour, Mr. Baker?” The judge asked as he looked up at Colson.

“It varies… sir.” He said as he sat up impossibly straighter beside you. “I… we actually flew here from Japan where I am on tour right now. Tours last between two and three months… I have a schedule…”

“He goes on tour once maybe twice a year.” You said for him as solidly as you could. “In between tours, occasionally, he makes an appearance at a music festival and he also sponsors his own festival in Ohio. That festival is where I assume the photos my mother found are from. But I also have photos from that weekend that I had put up on my personal Instagram account.” Judge Bosch nodded and held his hand up for the photos, which you and Colson scrambled to grab, along with the tour schedules, copies of all the checks you wrote to Sawyer for watching Gage for you so that there was a paper trail, and the USB drive you had of nearly every home video you had on your and Colson’s phones that involved your son. 

“Our son was never in harms way at that festival.” You continued as you reached for Colson’s hand under the table because you had nothing else left for your case. “Cols… Mr. Baker and I made sure that he had sunscreen applied every hour and a half like the bottle said. We made sure he had fans on him at all times if he wasn’t playing in the RV, he was given juice and water mixed so that he wouldn’t get dehydrated, when I had him in the carrier so that we could see C… Mr. Baker preform, he had noise canceling headphones on the entire time so his hearing wasn’t affected at all…”

“And we have had his hearing checked twice since we got back just to make sure and so we’d know for future shows.” Colson said as he held on to your hand as tightly as you were holding his. “Sir, we are not bad parents. Sure, we have tattoos, and we don’t work your typical nine to five gig. Yes, she used to model for Penthouse and I have a recording studio in my house that I sometimes spend a little too much time in… but Gage isn’t in any danger with us. In fact, that kid is probably safer with our crazy, over protective asses than he would be with anyone else…”

“Please watch your language, Mr. Baker.” The judge said as he set down all the papers and looked up at the two of you. Colson nodded his head and you sat forward as a single tear spilled over on your cheek.

“Sir, please. Please don’t take our son away from us. I am not the horrible mother my own mother is trying to make me out to be, and Colson is not an abusive father either. Our only fault here is we smoke a little weed after Gage goes to bed or when we know someone else is with him that can be more responsible than we can be for a few hours since it’s legal in California. But sir, we have both fought through a lot of personal shhhhh… stuff to make sure that he is a safe, healthy, loved little boy. Please… just watch the videos. Watch them and then tell me that we have not done everything we can to be the best parents we can be. Please…”

“We’re gunna take a short recess.” The judge said as he collected all of the documents you had brought him. “I have a lot to look over.” You bobbed your head in agreement and only made it part of the way out of your chair when the judge exited, before you simply collapsed back down in your chair.

“I can’t fucking do this.” You sighed, before your head whipped up at your favorite ‘Mama’ in the entire world. You forced a smile on your face and stood up as Sawyer walked down the far side of the benches in the back of the room with Gage on her hip.

“Hey baby boy.” You cooed as you took him from your friend and sat back down in your chair. “Did you have your juice? And did you get it all over your nice shirt?” You laughed as you turned your son around to face his dad. “This is all you.”

“Oh, that is so not all me.” Colson huffed as he held on to Gage’s hands so he could walk down your thighs and onto his. “Have you ever seen you eat ice cream in bed?”

“We watched the ducks.” Sawyer said with a giggle as you scowled at your boyfriend. “And we had juice and one of the ladies at the desk gave us a package of those cheese crackers he loves.”

“You mean the ones you love that you give my son so you can eat them?” You teased as you sat back in your chair and folded your hands on your bump.

“Yea, those ones.” You nodded your head slowly and slowly rocked yourself back and forth, while trying to force yourself not to look over at your mother. 

“Can I ask how it went?”

“It went.” Colson sighed as he stood up to grab a book from the diaper bag beside your friend to pass the time. 

“We gave him everything we had, shy of getting on our knees to suck his cock.” You said as you looked over at her. “And now all I can think about is what more we could have done.”

“You can’t think like that.” Ally said as she scooted her chair back and turned toward you. “We have a very strong case here. You and your lawyer did a very good job of setting it up.”

“Yea, but we’re tattooed parents that travel the world and take our clothes off for a living.” Colson said as he flipped the page so Gage could keep ‘reading’ to the pair of you.

“And that doesn’t make you bad parents.” Ally replied. “Especially with what I have seen the last couple days going over everything you sent me.”

“Guess we’ll wait and see.” You sighed as you propped your head up on your fist and moved your eyes to your son’s cherub face until they told you that you wouldn’t be able to look anymore.

——

No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t get your legs to move to bring yourself vertical. The only thing you could do was shake your head and cry, like you had been doing for nearly thirty minutes since you saw a man from the North Carolina DCF walk into the back of the court room to sit and wait.

“Be seated.” Judge Bosch said as he sat down with the stacks of papers you and your mom had given him in one hand and the USB stick in the other. “Give that back to them.” You looked up for a moment at the bailiff as he returned your flash drive while the judge looked at Gage, who was contently eating goldfish one at a time at a nearly glacial pace because he was distracted by ‘Word World’ on your old iPad to keep him calm. Colson nervously reached out and held on to your knee under the table in preparation for the worst.

“You know… I have been doing this job for thirty seven years. I have seen thousands of family walk through those doors for so many different reasons, and hundreds of them were grandparents looking to give their grandchildren a better life than the one they have. But usually, the cases that are presented to my court room are worth my time. This is not one of those cases. This…” He sighed as he held up all the paperwork in his hand. “Was easily an open and closed case in my eyes.” Your heart felt like it stopped in your chest and you buried your face in Gage’s hair while Colson’s grip tightened even more on your knee as his hands started to shake.

“Now, I may not agree with your choice of lifestyle, Mr. Baker, but after looking at all the paperwork and all the videos and photos you and Ms. (Y/L/N) have presented, I honestly had to wonder if my own children would be considered neglected by the impressive parenting style the two of you have.” Your heart started beating faster and your hand flew out to hold Colson’s wrist as you both waited for the other shoe to drop. “Mrs. (Y/L/N), I don’t know what your intention here was, but my assumption is you have successfully managed to sever any familial ties you had with your daughter and your grandson after this. Mr. Baker… Ms. (Y/L/N)… I won’t waste any more of your time here. Take your son home.” The moment the words left his mouth, you let out a strangled, choked sob and hugged your son even closer to your chest. Colson whipped around in his chair and fell over with his head on your shoulder.

“Oh, fuck.” He choked as he kissed the side of Gage’s head. “Holy fuck.”

“You can take him home.” Ally said softly as she crouched down beside you to say good bye. “Your case is closed. She can never take him from you.”

“Thank you.” Colson choked out as you started planting kisses on every inch of Gage’s face that you could reach.

“Mama!” He screeched as he tried to push your face away, annoyed with you at the moment and just wanting to watch his show.

“Hey guys, we gotta flight to catch.” Sawyer said softly behind you as she put your and her purse and the diaper bag on her shoulder. “And a crew to update.”

“OK, we’re coming.” You said with a sniffle as you finally found your feet and stood up. There was a little shuffle of putting away the goldfish container and the iPad away, which your son was not happy about.

“Hey, you’re getting fuckin’ spoiled with all this TV.” Colson huffed as he took Gage from you so he wouldn’t hurt the baby with his flailing kicks. “We gotta get you back outside… oh, you can quit with the whiny bullshit, bubba. You know Daddy ain’t playin.” He blew a raspberry on his son’s cheek, startling him mid-cry, before he tossed him up in the air a few inches. Gage squealed and forgot all about his show as you took your purse from Sawyer and headed out of the court room while wiping the tears off your face. Your mother managed to catch your eye in the main hall and she daringly took a couple steps toward you.

“Do not speak to me.” You said evenly with a shake of your head. “How fucking dare you.”

“Fuck you, Marie.” Colson said as he put Gage on his hip and stepped back to push you in front of him. “Fuck you.”

“That boy deserves to have God in his life.” She called out after you. “He doesn’t need to grow up worshipping Satan!”

“Excuse me?!” You screamed as you came to a dead stop and whipped around toward her. “I know you did not just fucking say that to me.”

“Let me raise him in the church.” She begged as Colson quickly passed off Gage and grabbed your arm. “He’s better off.”

“He’s better off with his mother.” He growled through his teeth as evenly as he could, despite the fact that he was literally shaking with rage. “He is better off as far away from you as physically possible.”

“How could you even think this would go over well for you?” You asked as Ally came running over from where she was talking to her next client about his case. “What, did you just expect that I would come running back home, that I would run away from Colson, to be with my son after you stole him from me? Bitch, you must be fucking damaged.”

“OK, let’s just walk away.” Ally said as she took a couple steps in front of you, which only made you lean to the side to keep glaring at your mother.

“Even if we had been the worst parents in the world, I would fight every fucking day for the rest of my life to get my kids away from you. And if it was just Kels that was the issue, I’m sure he would agree with me that we’d go our separate ways if it was what was best for our family. But after what you try to do to dad because of Anne and then to your own daughter?! Bitch, you are the last fucking person I would let raise my kids. I’d even let Junior’s dumb ass raise them before you did.”

“Come on, we need to go now.” Sawyer tried as she pulled back on your arm to try to turn you around.

“Expect a fucking restraining order, bitch.” You barked as you finally caved in and turned away. “Because you will never see my babies again. Fucking Satan worshipers. Are you fucking stupid?”

“I’m gunna fucking hit her.” Colson said as he shot your mother one last look before turning to follow you out of the court house.

“She ain’t even worth the charge you’d catch.” You sighed as you reached out to take Gage to calm yourself down. “Right? Say I just don’t have a grandma anymore. Simple as that. Wanna go bye bye?”

“Still wanna fucking hit her.” Colson grumbled again as he held your arm to help you down the narrow stairs in heels.

“Not if I kill her first.” You cooed in a sing song voice and turned to head toward your rental car to head to the UK for the next week.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You only lasted a week on tour, before switching time zones with a toddler while pregnant became to much to handle. So with a ‘quit while you’re ahead’ attitude, you flew back to LA with Sawyer, who was working hard to meet a strict deadline anyways. But that move was apparently not one of your smartest.

“Look, it’s Daddy!” You cooed to your son over his tears as you laid with him in your bed, trying to convince him to go to bed while he fought bed time tooth and nail through his exhaustion. You held your phone up in front of his face with the FaceTime video playing as loud as it would go, as Colson wiped the sleep from his half opened eyes to try to help.

“Main man Gage.” He croaked before clearing his throat. “Hey, buddy. What the fuck, man? It’s bed time. Hey...”

“No!!” You son screamed as he tossed on the bed beside you.

“I’m just waiting for the sleep gummy to kick in at this point.” You sighed as you whacked your son’s feet away from your stomach. “Quit, you little shit.”

“We’re such good parents.” He huffed as he propped his phone up on the pillow beside him so he didn’t have to hold it. “I think you should just come back here. I’ll get him to fucking sleep. Just knock him upside the head.”

“Is that an option now?” You joked with a tired smile. “Should I try it? My Harley Quinn bat is somewhere around here.”

“Do not knock my son upside the head.” He laughed as you reached out and pulled your child up to your chest in a vain attempt to stop his tantrum. “Or should I say don’t do it unless I’m there to witness it.”

“‘Bout to smother his ass with your pillow.” You muttered as you kissed your now simply crying son’s head. “He’s been pulling this shit since we landed three hours ago.”

“Why are you just now calling then?” He asked as you propped your phone up with a pillow so that Gage could see his dad, too now that he had stopped thrashing.

“Didn’t wanna wake you until I knew he was about to pass out. Cause we both know Daddy needs much more beauty sleep than Mommy does. With those bags, and all those wrinkles startin’.”

“Fuck you.” He laughed with a shake of his head. “Your ass is the one that’s got wrinkles.”

“My ass is perfect, thank you.” You huffed as you adjusted your head on the pillow. “And I grow people so I’ll always be more beautiful.”

“OK, so you got me there.” He conceded. “Hey little man, you ready for sleepies?” You felt your son nod slowly against your chest, and you picked up your head to look at him while Colson sat up the slightest bit. He started singing ‘Good Night, Gage’, a song he wrote specifically for your son, that was guaranteed to knock him out completely, and sure enough, he didn’t make it to the chorus before your son was finally passed out in front of you.

“You’re a miracle worker, Colson. Swear to God.”

“I try.” He sighed as he laid back down to go back to sleep. “I miss you two.”

“We miss you, too.” You said with a nod. “And we love you.”

“Love you guys, too. I’ll call you in the morning, ‘K?”

“We’ll be here. Hopefully well rested.”

“I’m sure you will be. He’s had a hell of a time switching time zones like we’ve had to.”

“I know.” You sighed with a nod. “Which is why we came home.”

“I know. Alright, I love you. I gotta get some more sleep.”

“I know, Love you, too.” You blew him a kiss, which he returned to you before taking one last look at the loves of his life and hanging up the call for the night. You lasted just long enough to plug your phone in, turn off the light, and move your son to his spot in the middle of the bed before passing out for the most glorious ten hours of sleep you thought you ever had.

Part 9

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

Touch it for Real, Part 5

Genre: Humor / Fluff / Eventual Smut

Warnings: OMG they were roommates / slice of life / slow burn / mutual pining / crude humor / cursing / virgin!baek / idiots to lovers / mention of feet

Characters: Baekhyun X You/Female Reader

Description: You teach Baekhyun how to date. (Basically the Get You Alone M/V)

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5, Part 6

Baekhyun was trembling. His hands were actually shaking so much each time he tried to type into the keyboard of his phone he hit the wrong letters and the typos rendered his message impossible for even the autocorrect to guess what he was trying to say.

“Just — ugh — just give me a regular keyboard for fuck’s sake,” he was grumbling to himself, “my hands wont stop shaking. I can’t. I can’t do this.”

He tossed the phone with force away from him and it landed face down on the carpet across the living room.

“No. I refuse,” he was staring over at the phone on the floor with a shell shocked aura about him, “just forget it. I’ve changed my mind. I can’t. I won’t!”

You’d given him a homework assignment an hour ago.

Ask a girl out on a date.

He’d been sitting on this sofa with his phone in his hands, writing, deleting, rewriting and deleting, again and again, into the text message conversation he had going with Mia.

It had been going pretty well with Mia actually. You’d been handing him the reins more and more and you both celebrated together with a single glass of wine the night he’d had his first actual phone conversation with her. Baekhyun was a lightweight and usually refused to drink more than a few sips of alcohol but he’d gone for the chilled bottle in the fridge and poured it into two glasses and handed one of them to you and lifted his own into the air. He did not wait for you to acknowledge his toast though. He just downed the contents of his glass with a wince on his face in a single go, slammed the empty glass down onto the counter roughly and stormed out of the kitchen toward his bedroom. You sipped your glass and counted it as a shared celebration.

His phone call lasted for 3 minutes and 32 seconds and he managed to tell one awkward joke that elicited audible laughter from the girl. You knew because you sat on the couch beside him with your ear pulled up as close to the phone as you could manage, trying to hear everything that happened. You’d let him know you were here to intervene if something went wrong but honestly you were sure he would do well on his own. And honestly, he was about to do well on his own, despite how awkward and very nervous his voice was.

They had gotten past the introductions at least twice when he briefly forgot what came after “hello” and simply said it a second time. She at least said it twice too and the awkward pause that came after that went on for too long when you held up the index card in your hand and pointed with your finger to the question you had written down.

“Uhh...so h-how...umm...how are — I mean, what are you up to?”

You couldn't make out her response, but whatever she said pulled an interested hum from the back of his throat and he made a quick witted remark that had her giggling in response.

You could definitely make out the sounds of her laughter and you could instantly see the change on his face when it happened. You saw the brightness form inside his eyes and he turned to look at you with a surprised expression as he lifted a finger to point at the phone he held in his hand.

His eyes were wide with something in between amazement and panic and he mouthed the words ‘she’s laughing’ at you and you nodded enthusiastically in response.

Unfortunately a few seconds after the joke he accidentally dropped the phone and it took a wild bounce, landing somewhere under the couch. He couldn’t find it for two whole minutes and when he finally found it, he made up some excuse about having to go because he smelled something burning.

He stared at the phone until the screen turned black and he didn’t move when you rubbed a soothing hand over his back.

“That went pretty good,” you offered. Baekhyun grunted and turned toward the kitchen for the celebratory toast.

Since that night, (you know the one) you’d intentionally taken on a more supportive teacher role in this project. You vowed to keep yourself involved as much as he needed and you swore you could keep your own selfishness from impeding his progress. The way you had been acting had been unfair and he was too good to you for him to deserve anything less than your very best.

You had made a promise to Baekhyun and then you made a promise to yourself to follow through on that promise. You would move Heaven and Earth to help him reach his goal because he deserved it and seeing him happy would be enough to get you through anything that came your way.

You were fine.

No really, you were completely fine.

He was moaning.

You sat on the couch beside him with your foot propped up on the coffee table as you carefully applied the second coat of polish to your toenails. You’d become quite the expert at applying polish to your nails during bumpy situations. Sitting next to the man who flailed and squirmed beside you on this sofa was commonplace and simply no big deal.

You could probably do this during an earthquake.

His moaning turned into much louder moaning and he threw himself back onto the arm of the couch dramatically and in protest of the unfairness of your assignment.

“Buuuug,” he whined through his nose, drawing it out like a little kid.

You’d just finished your pinky toe when his foot pushed up against your thigh.

Your aim was quick and you reached over and grabbed his foot by the heel as you pivoted in place.

“Be still,” you said calmly and you held his foot in place as you applied the bright red polish to his big toenail. You often did his toes to match your own because it made his toes look adorable and he wore socks everywhere he went anyway so he didn’t mind what you did to amuse yourself.

You moved quickly, dabbing carefully over each of his nails until they were all painted to match yours. You blew air over them to dry them, being thankful you’d invested in the 60 second polish.

“Buuu-hu-hu-hu-uuug,” he moaned harder, wiggling his hips into the fit he was throwing and closing his eyes to sell you on the absolute anguish he was in. “Bug, I just don't think I can do it. Can we do something else? I don't even know what to do on a date. What if she says no? Oh god, what if she says yes, I’m going to puke. Do you want to see me puke? Because I am going to puke.”

You tapped a hand lightly over the top of his finished foot and pointed to the other one and after a few moments he shifted, giving in to what you asked for right away.

But good lord, he was dramatic. The whining and the moaning intensified just when you thought you couldn't stand another volume increase he raised his voice into a shout and put actual words to his protests. Your ears were already ringing and you could feel your substantial patience — really, you were on a level with a Buddhist monk after two years living with this — beginning to shake.

“I mean, if I asked you to teach me how to swim would you chuck me into the ocean on the first day?”

You forced your focus down on his other foot, getting the polish smooth and perfect with each stroke. He had gone quiet after his question to you and you bit down on your lip as you carefully pondered the words he was saying. The last thing you wanted was to make him so uncomfortable he was unable to go about his daily life. You didn't need this project to become a source of heartache for the man.

You were not an unreasonable person. Perhaps this really had been too big of a step for him to take without having even practiced under the careful instruction of a teacher.

He’d waited in silence for you to answer for only a few seconds and when you didn’t; because you were thinking about it, dammit, he threw his whole head back and his mouth opened up and he wailed into the ceiling above his head at an even more annoying volume than you thought was possible. This was new and shocking. It was deafening. Surely the neighbors would think someone was being butchered in here.

The awful sounds were coming straight from his diaphragm. The man had power in those pipes and he was going to destroy your ear drums in order to get his way. It went on and on, changing from a moaning, groaning large-dog-with-a-bellyache sound into what you imagined it might sound like inside of an echo chamber trapped with a big sad whale, the biggest ones they made, who also happened to be on fire. He was giving you everything he had now. This was full volume and it was horrible.

“Alright!” You shouted over the wretched screaming, “Alright fine! For the love of God, Baekhyun!” You said for emphasis and the incredible relief of silence flooded and cleansed your ear drums that still vibrated from the after effects of all of that noise.

He lifted his head and closed up his mouth instantly and his eyes were wide as he cautiously watched and waited for what you would say next.

“Do you want me to teach you? Do you think you can practice with me so you learn how to do it before you have to do it for real, on your own? That’s what you mean right? You want more instruction before I throw your ass into the ocean?”

His lips were situated down into a fierce pout now and he nodded his head twice; a big ol’ up and down.

You were irked now. No amount of pathetic pouting on that face could pull you back from the edge. Even the slow careful nod of his head was just an obvious attempt at winning you over with cuteness. Well, it wouldn't work. If anyone was capable of annoying someone to death, it was this man right here and he came very close just now.

“New assignment,” you said with your finger raised and he pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth and pushed his top lip forward as he inflated his cheeks into round balloons. He sat up straighter and he waited for you to speak.

“Since I am a woman,” you began with your finger still raised and waving in his direction. His eyes glanced down at it, “you may ask me out on a date, for practice. And if I say yes, we will then—”

Your pointed finger was joined by your whole hand as you opened it up and you waved it through the air twice, a visual representation of cause and effect of such a situation. His eyeballs followed every movement you made, looking at the hand that moved instead of at you, the actual speaker.

His eyes popped up into yours when he registered the words you were saying; the requirements of his new assignment.

“...we will then — well, we will..”

Your words were sticking. He was listening very closely and he’d released the air trapped in his mouth and his lips now hung open as his eyes occasionally followed the waving of your hand in front of his face. It was silly how shifty his focus was when your hand moved in front of him.

“We...will…” he said and his face moved, mirroring the movements of your hand as he tried best to understand the new task you were trying so hard to assign to him, even repeating your words to help you get the next ones out.

“We will go on a date. A real one. A practice date. You will have to take me on a date, Baekhyun. You’ll just have to .. do your best at it.”

“A date? I’ll have to,” he said with a flinching, squinting blink of his eyes, “...do my best?”

“Yes, of course,” you said as you pointed your finger at him again, pulling a swift but deep gasp into your lungs to fight the dizziness you could feel building inside your head, “It’s an assignment. Like school. I will give you a grade on how well you do. If you fail, then it’s over and I’m a terrible teacher and clearly your problems are beyond my area of expertise.”

His polish was dry. This conversation needed to be over because you were weirdly agitated by the wide eyed, deer in the headlights expression stuck on his face.

“I’ll send you some study materials later. You better take this seriously, Byun Baekhyun. This is a real assignment from your real dating teacher.”

The entire situation made you anxious. The desire to flee was very strong. You needed a getaway and you needed it now. You felt a tremble inside that could only be attributed to just how freaked out he had been acting. It was rubbing off on you.

You wanted to make a quick escape but you were now fighting with the many bottles of nail polish scattered across the coffee table; you’d gone through so many of them as you decided on which color to use — they really were just numerous and just everywhere. You grasped at them, trying to grab huge handfuls at one time but your hands couldn't hold as many as you wanted and each attempt sent a bottle or two clattering noisily to the table below. It was really ruining the dramatically cool exit you were trying for.

After quite a bit of noise you felt the warmth of Baekhyun’s arm as he leaned against you and began to help you pick up the bottles; carefully placing each in it’s designated spot in your huge nail polish organizer.

It took a bit of effort for you to turn to look at him and when his fingertips carefully placed the final bottle in the case you clicked the lid closed and finally managed to face him.

His eyes were flighty. His face was flushed and when he met your eyes the smile on his lips was very tense. It looked like a grimace.

You had to be insane to be doing this. Willingly putting yourself into a situation like this with him, a situation that was for instructional purposes only, but a situation nonetheless. Your heart was racing inside of your chest and you briefly wondered if he could hear it with him sitting so close to you.

You swallowed it away, the nerves or the uncertainty or whatever it was that had taken hold of your hands and made them unstable and you turned to look into his face head on.

“Do you understand the assignment?”

Baekhyun filled his lungs with air and straightened his shoulders, pulling them back as his eyes closed up. You recognized the self calming behavior. When he turned to look at you he held a new determination in his eyes and he nodded his head and furrowed his eyebrows.

“I was always a good student,” he said, “I will do my best with this assignment. I’ll take it seriously, so I can learn from you well.”

You reached forward and patted the back of his hand lightly and offered a reassuring smile.

“Don't be too nervous, okay? Remember it’s for class so you should learn from it. Mistakes are natural and they help us grow. And you won’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. I mean it.”

He swallowed and his lips flattened out into a thin line across his face. His head bobbed up and down and he hummed out a response that told you that yes, he did know what was expected of him for the sake of the lesson; for the sake of his future as an adult man who was entering the dating pool in search of the companionship of some lucky lady.

“Also remember, it’s just me. No pressure. Okay, Peanut? I’m here to help you. You could spill an entire cup of iced tea down my dress at dinner and I would still forgive you.”

“No pressure,” he repeated under his breath and when you were finally satisfied that he really understood, you stood, hefting your manicure supplies up with both hands and you stepped away from the living room to return them to your bathroom.

“Do I have a deadline?” He called after you and you turned back with your hand on the doorknob to your room, quietly amused by the seriousness you saw on his face. At the same time, proud of what a good student he was. He was a smart boy, he would do well in anything he was determined to do.

“Ask me out by tomorrow or else Ben might beat you to it.”

You figured a little sense of competition couldn't hurt. And yes, you were still actually speaking regularly with Ben. You were pleasantly surprised with how smart and how funny he turned out to be and he turned out to be a pretty good distraction for the evenings when you’d normally be bored and hanging around in Baekhyun’s room while he played some game on his PC and he’s toss you a remote for the screen that hung up on the wall above his head. You’d play music videos, or cooking videos from YouTube, or some drama or variety shows and he’d play his games and lean far back in his chair watching the screen when exciting things happened on screen.

A few times lately though, when you went into his room you’d find him watching some anime and you just knew he’d want to pay close attention so he could discuss it later with Mia. You’d much rather find someone to entertain you alone so you didn’t have to be ignored or shushed when you interrupted his anime with some stupid question about it, like who is that guy with the crazy eyes and why is he trying to kill everybody. Ben’s conversations were good enough to keep you occupied at least a little bit.

Back in your bedroom you got to work searching for materials for Baekhyun to study. Mostly using helpful YouTube videos with titles such as “how to ask a girl out”, “what to talk about on a first date” and a super helpful online book you found called The Gentleman’s Guide: How to be the Perfect Date. It was just a little outdated with the styles but the book was extensive and ran the gamut from hygiene to manners to confidence and conversation; it even had an entire section called The Art of Subtle Seduction and it made you just a little embarrassed to think of Baekhyun reading this part. He was an adult. He could handle this much. The Dos and Don'ts of a First Date section alone was worth the price you paid for the book.

You wrote up an email with your course materials and sent it off to the man.

Then you sat and waited alone in your bedroom until your level of boredom that in any other situation would be unremarkable, when combined with the built up anticipation inside of you, mixed into a perfect storm of swirling lunacy that was bouncing around inside of you; trying to break free and wreak havoc on something other than your chest walls.

You grabbed your cell phone, slipped by the 2 waiting text messages from Ben that you would absolutely get to later, and opened a new text message to Baekhyun.

‘peanut did you get my email ^^?’

You were sure he did. Of course he did. You wondered if there was anything he found lacking in the pages and pages of super helpful information you sent him. You wondered what he thought about it all and maybe if he needed some guidance or suggestions on how to proceed with the first step of his assignment. Did he need you to come over to his bedroom and watch the videos with him? Would that be too awkward?

Your phone vibrated.

‘yep’

He would ask for help if he needed it, you were certain. He would be fine. This wasn’t real anyway. It wasn’t like there was an actual deadline, not really. You enjoyed talking with Ben but it didn’t seem like he was close to asking you out yet. He had been a bit busy lately and you had been busy as well with work and with helping Baekhyun.

You’d seen from the notification preview on your phone that Ben’s last two messages were asking you something that would take a while to explain and you didn’t want to open them yet in case he’d been expecting you to reply quickly. You needed a bit more time to come up with an answer for the questions he had casually asked about your roommate. You’d tell Ben that Baekhyun was, yes, a guy. And no, it wasn’t awkward living with a man.

You’d get to all that later. Now, you were entirely too keyed up about a problem of your very own creation.

When.

But really...

When?

You could not relax. Because honestly it could happen at any moment. He could come barging into your room, plop his ass down unceremoniously on your bed and say “Hey Doll, hows about you and me go on a hot date this weekend, what about it? Nyeeahhh?” Like some sort of 1940s gangster. You could definitely see Baekhyun doing this accent. You were pretty sure he had a 40s gangster hat in his closet.

You’d decided that you wouldn't give him a hard time about how he asked you. You’d accept right away for the sake of his nerves, if he worked up the courage to ask you at all, then he was on the right track and he deserved an E for effort.

You still had trouble with the anticipation. Not knowing when was the hardest part to handle. You tried your very best to go about your day in as normal a way possible. Sure, you jumped every time you heard a sound, but other than that, it felt like any other day.

He spent the rest of the evening in his room and didn't even come out until you heard the doorbell ring. You peaked your head out of your bedroom door and waited for him to answer it but after a few minutes with no sight of him you stepped out. The doorbell rang a second time and you rushed from your room to answer it before the visitor gave up.

It could have been something important. This building had a doorman so it was usually someone who had a purpose ringing the bell.

The view through the camera monitor showed a run of the mill pizza delivery man, and you remembered that it was Baekhyun’s turn to make dinner tonight. He must have ordered you a pizza so he could hide in his room all night and not have to worry about walking around you in the kitchen and not asking you out on a date.

This was his way of avoiding you for the night.

You had to swallow down the flash of silly disappointment that popped up. You’d assumed correctly that he had already paid for the pizza and you received your cardboard box of loneliness with a polite smile for the weirdly cheerful delivery kid.

You gave a quick glance at the label in the front of the box to check for forbidden toppings just in case he’d forgotten who he was avoiding tonight and put something weird on it like corn and mayo or hot peppers.  

The label had four lines of ingredients listed, the first said ‘xtra cheese’ and each additional one after that said ‘xtra cheese.’ Nothing else, just ‘xtra cheese’ listed four times in succession.

What in the world?

You briefly considered a malfunction of the pizza shop’s label maker, but boy was this thing heavy. Did he sneeze while selecting toppings and accidentally hit the option four times?

You set the monster down on the counter and lifted the lid. It was steaming hot despite the trip in the car and up the elevators to your door and as soon as you opened it you noticed the odd appearance of the inside lid.

There was a message handwritten with black marker inside of the lid.

Your stomach leapt up into your throat as you recognized what this was. The message started with the word Bug.

You had to cover your mouth to get through this.

Bug,

I know this is really, really, really, really cheesy, but will you go out on a date with me this Saturday?

Knock thrice on my door for yes.

-Peanut

P.S. Did I beat Ben?

You had to hang your head to contain it. You wanted to scream. Giggles actually burst out of your mouth before you could stop them. You were highly amused. Actually reallly fucking impressed and goddammit you felt a genuine flutter of butterflies inside of your stomach. How was he this clever? He had always been very silly and good at thinking of the most ridiculous scenarios to get things done, but wow. When you lifted the lid once more to read his message again your mind spun with the logistics of that man in that bedroom sneakily ordering this thing from a real pizza shop that was probably a block from your home.

Did he call them and explain the situation? Did all of the employees gather around, chanting ‘More cheese! Give the man more cheese!’ As they loaded this pizza up with what looked to be a full inch of melted cheese on top? It compromised the edges of the crust and flowed over the cardboard below. It was absolutely ridiculous and nearly inedible too.

Did they giggle at the pet names you called each other as they selected the employee with the best handwriting to relay his message?

You were buzzing again. This time it was pride. He was brilliant at everything he put his mind to and this was clearly no exception. He would do so well in his life.

You left the kitchen and made your way toward his closed bedroom door. As you came close you heard a very soft thud; wooden door hitting wooden door frame. The movement was hardly noticeable but you could see a slow turn of the doorknob too. He probably thought he was sneaky.

You lifted your closed fist and quietly hit three times against his door and after exactly ten seconds you heard the squeak of his doorknob turning and his bedroom door opened up an inch.

You saw a single brown eyeball peeping at you through the opening.

“I’ll text you the details later,” he whispered and the door closed up again before you could respond.

The details came by text message a day later, just as he promised. It was a Thursday afternoon when your phone buzzed and you’d just put the final touches on your data entry work for the day, running it through a spell checker for mistakes as you always did. You’d expected to hear from Ben by now, he said he had something to go straighten out at the bank. He’d taken it well, finding out that your roommate was a man around your age, and he didn’t even ask too many prodding questions about him.

The message was from Baekhyun with the time he would ‘arrive’ to pick you up on Saturday and he gave you sparse details about what he actually had planned; just a quick note at the end that he would be wearing a suit. You figured this was a hint for you to dress up as well.

Was Baekhyun taking you some place fancy? Your curiosity was positively burning and Baekhyun had been acting super weird around you lately.

Whenever you’d come into a room he was already occupying he would make up some excuse why he had to leave it and vanish inside his room to carry on with his highly secretive behavior. Whenever you went into his room he would spin in his chair toward the door with what you were positive was a caught red handed look on his face. It was like you had just caught him watching porn, only you’d caught glimpses of his screen before he quickly hit a keyboard command to clear out the screen and you didn't see a single boob.

After the first time, you’d made it a point to barge into his room often, just to see the surprised look on his face; you did it all for that gasp of air, the frantic fingers of panic on the keyboard, and the trembling hand over his chest as he clutched his pearls. All you caught flashes of were just regular looking websites. Regular text and regular pictures. You saw some blues, you saw some greens. You definitely didn't see the incriminating black and yellow theme of everyone’s favorite adult website. There was nary a penetrative moan to be heard through his speakers. The entire thing brought you great joy. The man was acting so odd and honestly he was getting your hopes up for a fantastically mind blowing date on Saturday. You’d already picked out your dress, heels, and jewelry and had been having a very hard time tolerating the ever so tedious passage of time.

By the time Saturday rolled around you were a wreck of nerves; though you weren’t exactly sure why you were so anxious. It was probably his recent fretting and obsessive preparations that had rubbed off on you. You’d decided to take it easier on him today. He’d obviously been working very hard on this assignment once given the dangling carrot of a good grade to be awarded at the end and if there was one thing you knew about Baekhyun, it was how much he strived to achieve perfection in his academic performance. You’d provided the materials. He’d obviously been studying and go-time was quickly approaching.

You took your time getting ready, soaking in your bathtub to kill some of the dull waiting hours before he was due to pick you up. By the time you were scrubbed, rinsed, shaved, moisturized, plucked, preened, coiffed, and scented to your satisfaction, you had only a half an hour to slip up the straps on the fancy fitted cocktail dress and check your reflection in the full length mirror. It was fitted and had a deep plunging neckline. It accentuated the best parts of your figure and the high slit that landed over your upper thigh showed just enough skin to make you feel sexy.

With your heels you were ready to go; feeling about as pretty as you had in a long while. The silliest little fantasy swam through your head as you spun in front of the mirror and it brought just a little warmth to your cheeks as you allowed it to play out. The idea that he would find you so lovely, so irresistible, that even the iron willed man with his self control like a steel trap would lose himself in the slow blinks of your lashes and drown in the pools of your eyes for just one night.

When you lightly slapped a palm over your cheek, it was to ground yourself. This was fake. Everything that happened tonight would be the result of careful calculations and applications of behaviors modeled in text books that he had studied all week long. It was a date with Baekhyun, but it wouldn't really be an accurate representation of the Baekhyun that you know so well.

You knew he would follow a script. He would perform as a perfect gentleman and you would play along, knowing that when he brought you home you would get a gentle hug and a thanks for sharing your knowledge with him and you would close your bedroom door and he would return to his bedroom door and life as you know it would simply fall back into place as it should remain unchanged for however long it took for you to get back on your feet, perhaps get a place of your own not too far away from him; although this neighborhood was very expensive, you’d settle for one or two subways stops away if it meant you could visit your best friend often and see him living out the life he deserved with someone who was worthy of his love.

Tonight, you will enjoy. But you would not allow your emotions to betray your rational mind. You would enjoy it and then it would be over and Baekhyun would have the skill set to ask out Mia, or whoever else he set his mind on asking out.

Your quiet self assurance was interrupted by two soft knocks on your bedroom door and your hands were trembling as you grabbed your handbag that had your cell phone, a tube of lipstick for touch-ups and a few just in case items you were always taught to carry with you, you know, just in case.

You’d reached the door and swung it open with a beaming smile on your face.

Your date was here. Baekhyun was here. It was Peanut.

A smile that quickly transformed into what you were sure was a gaping opening in your face resembling some aquatic animal and you found yourself gazing upon, frankly, an expertly styled exquisitely handsome real life man, who was wearing Byun Baekhyun’s face and smile.

Despite seeing him standing before you with your own two eyes, your brain was having trouble reconciling the two; your harmless roommate and the man who stood before you wearing a crisp suit jacket that he filled out shockingly well, a fashionable collarless dress shirt that looked like it came from some fancy boutique from downtown, fitted dress slacks that you tried your best not to linger on for too long, and were his shoes Italian? You were pretty sure they were Italian. More than just the clothes, his hair was different. He’d gone and had something done to his hair! Lord, you saw slight waves and a deliberate styling by an expert hand with just a bit of his forehead visible. Oh he looked so lovely with this hair style.

You remembered to close your mouth, but only after the realization dawning on you that he hadn’t said anything to you as you silently admired how beautiful he looked standing in his fancy suit looking like at least a million bucks.

You knew...you knew he was an attractive man. You’d have plenty of glimpses of it again and again, freshly reminded of it during that photo shoot late that night. You’d even known he worked out and had had plenty of chances to ogle the muscles on his arms and chest when he just woke up and would wander out shirtless for a drink of water. You knew that the entire shape of this man was the kind of handsome that you had to make conscious decisions to ignore. You’d forced yourself to look away plenty of times in the past. Still, the Baekhyun who stood here today, the one who had his lips parted as he stared into your eyes now after what you were certain was a head to toe, slow as hell, full body appreciation of all of your preparations to get ready for tonight, this Baekhyun was, for lack of a better word, he was sexy as all hell.

For the first time since you began this project; these lessons in dating, you felt like you might actually be in some sort of trouble.

Baekhyun spoke at last and it was the softest whisper. He said your name. Not Bug, not stupid or dummy or stinky which he called you sometimes even though you knew, you fucking knew you always smelled amazing. You went out of your way to smell great. The sound of your name on his voice softened the shock in your face and you felt a smile pull at your lips.

And so you smiled at him and watched the slow but complete smile that manifested on his pretty face.  

“Hi,” he said with a blink of his bright eyes.

“Hi Baek,” you said. Your heart was racing.

He pivoted on his (Italian!) shoes and extended a bent elbow toward you and you slipped a hand around his arm.

He was doing so well. Each step you took through your shared home felt new. You had a hard time keeping from watching the side of his face and each glance you made was greeted with the light touch of his eyes as he met your eyes with his own.

Moments blurred. He ticked all the boxes, of course. He opened your door, closed it quietly behind you once you were inside. Even helped you with the seatbelt, much to the dismay of your racing heartbeat when he reached over to pull the red strap across you, careful to keep his hands well away from touching any of your actual body as he did it. The true devastation hit you when, all closed up inside the dark car in the silent moments before he started the engine and the intoxicating smell of him reached your nose.

This was a new smell. Baekhyun had gone to the salon, gone shopping for expensive new clothes, and was also wearing what had to be the best smelling cologne you had ever experienced in person.

“You smell really good,” you said without looking at him and your fingers fidgeted with the strap of your handbag to keep your mind working.

“So do you,” he said followed by an inhale that you were certain sounded just a little thready and he was steering the car through lanes and turns of a parking garage to exit the building.

His destination was the kind of fancy dream-like restaurant that you saw only in movies. The sun would be setting soon and you were led to a rooftop terrace with a view over the city and a single table set for two. You followed the pleasantly clean woman and lingering just behind you, Baekhyun silently fell behind one or two steps. A glance behind woke him up from whatever daze he’d fallen into and he closed the distance with two larger steps and a shy smile on his lips.

The waitstaff worked like ninjas. Glasses were refilled as if by magic and course after course of delicious food appeared before you as you watched the sunset over the horizon and when the light faded enough, the soft glow of twinkle lights illuminated the view around you.

The dinner was delicious and the scenery was breathtaking and that alone would have given him full marks for such a lovely evening out, but Byun Baekhyun was proving to be an overachiever as he started to talk to you. He was asking you open-ended questions, pulling conversation easily from you and you found yourself giggling and laughing as he joked in response or told you some funny anecdotes from his childhood that he knew you would love.

By the time dessert arrived you were pretty certain you were drunk despite half of the wine that remained back in your glass. Baekhyun, ever the stickler for vehicle safety had stuck to soft drinks and when he excused himself for the restrooms, you waited patiently under the glowing lights as you daydreamed about the genuine brightness you were certain you saw in his smiles. Had the twinkle in his eyes been just a reflection of this place? Everything about him tonight felt so real. You’d read through the same book he read through and you couldn’t recall him using a single recycled phrase or conversation point during dinner.

Maybe he was just that good of a student.

A noise startled you from behind and you jumped when a single red rose was laid on the table in front of you.

A rose. Baekhyun had brought you back a rose from somewhere; maybe he stole it from the elaborate flower arrangements you passed on the way in.

“Where did you get this?” You mused as you smelled his sweet offering and he shrugged and tugged at the top button of his shirt, undoing it and slipping slim fingers down to undo the second button as well. Your eyes watched the action and weirdly the fragrance from the rose smelled sweeter than the first time you smelled it.

“I just had it,” he said cryptically with another charming and blinding smile.  

“Ready to go? We have one more place to visit.”

The next place he took you was even more magical than the fancy restaurant. The parking lot was nearly empty and when he opened your door he was fussing around with a small bag in the backseat of his car.  He pulled out a pair of black ballet flats and you watched in awe as the man actually kneeled down on the pavement in front of you to carefully slip your heels off of your feet and slip on the comfortable shoes.  

While they did not look anywhere near as sexy as the heels did, you instantly understood the need for a change.

Baekhyun had brought you to an aquarium with what looked like miles and miles of indoor and outdoor paths to walk through with tunnels traveling through the biggest tanks of aquatic sea life you’d ever seen.

You were instantly hypnotized by the deep sea exhibits that seemed to take you for miles and miles below the surface of the ocean where the sea life grew weirder and the lighting grew darker and dimmer the further down you traveled. Here at depths difficult to wrap your brain around the fish and sea creatures have adapted to freezing waters and a bleak existence without any light at all. Many had their own light sources. The bioluminescent exhibits sparkled and twinkled like the stars in the sky out in the country. You saw entire universes all around you.

Baekhyun was as enraptured as you were and spent his time carefully reading each exhibit’s information card out loud as he stared with his mouth open in awe at the different creatures. There were hundreds of different species of fishes, beautiful ones and downright creepy ugly things from the very bottom of the oceans; endangered species too; the sleepy eyes of the sea turtles were your favorites and the impressions Baekhyun made of their swimming faces made you cackle with laughter. Bright lights illuminated meters of corals of all shapes, sizes, and colors, and you honestly felt like you’d entered another planet when you both walked into the jellyfish halls.

They glowed and flowed, bounced and danced, and moved like a dream. You found yourself hypnotized as you stared at the biggest tank full of them for long enough for Baekhyun to make three circles around waiting for you to follow him out of this room so he could go see the sharks.  

You knew the sharks were coming. You’d had a look at the map. And while you didn't necessarily dislike them, their huge sizes and razor sharp teeth always gave you the heebie-jeebies. The jellies were just so comfortable to look at and so relaxing.

It took some coaxing from Baekhyun, and maybe even a little tiny push at the back of your shoulders to get your feet to move and you lingered a bit long in the dark hallway that connects the two exhibits.

You just felt that maybe, the sharks could wait just a little bit longer to meet you.

He’d noticed right away and you opened up your eyes that you’d closed up for a little relaxing session when you felt the tips of his fingers running along the palm of your hand.

He gripped lightly at first, and then shifted your hand within his and he began walking forward in that dark hallway with you trailing behind him.

Baekhyun touched you sometimes. This was something that he did, on occasion. During a scary movie when you’d jumped too many times, or when you both walked through a crowded place and he didn't want you to wander off, he would occasionally hold your hand.  This wasn’t something new to you.

However your heart was beating hard in your chest and the warmth of his hand coupled with the firmness with which he held you felt so damn nice you were having trouble focusing on anything else except for your own shallow breathing and racing heartbeat — and his hand holding yours.

Sharks swam at a gentle languid pace. Clearly at ease and very well fed here in their homes, there didn't seem to be very much murder and feasting happening at all. Hammerheads, tiger sharks, something uglier than any other creature you had ever seen that came from The Midnight Zone of the deepest parts and with each creature that swam overhead, or beside you, or creeped up from somewhere behind you, Baekhyun would turn to face you and take two or three steps backwards as he pulled you through it, your hand held securely inside of his. He would smile at you that debilitating smile, and tilt his head and call you a scary cat or a big baby and you would laugh and roll your eyes and deny that you were even a little bit scared of anything at all.

All was going well. You were very well taken care of and felt very secure inside this tiny tunnel at the bottom fo the ocean and you’d noticed this time when Baekhyun had turned around to look at you with a bright smile that smile wavered just a touch and his eyes seemed to focus on something that was coming up from behind.

Your curiosity got the better of you and you turned to see what he saw.

Baekhyun moved quickly then, moving both of his hands up to reach for your face he pulled your head forward and moved his own face close to yours. You felt the warmth of his forehead lean against yours for a moment and you could not see around or behind you with his hands placed so carefully on the sides of your head like this.

You knew what it was. It had to be something huge and terrifying, maybe even something with fresh blood still on it’s teeth. A Great White. The giant monster from the movie Jaws that you had watched with him once not realizing just how scary it would be and you spent most of the film curled up under his arm wincing at the horrors you saw on the screen.

“Hey Peanut,” you said softly while looking up close into his eyes. He was so close you could feel the warmth of his breath on your face. His smell, that new smell of his smelled even better this close to his skin.

“Hey LoveBug,” he said with a gentle smile and you knew based on the use of this carefully reserved nickname for emergencies that it was exactly as you had feared. A Great White, chomping on the remains of the cutest crying baby penguin. The fluffiest one with its whole life ahead of it.

Baekhyun was safe though. Baekhyun was warm and he was here to protect you. You would be okay, you knew it.

“Is it gone yet?” You asked after what felt like the average time for a fish that size to swim away and you noticed something. It was a look, just a glance. Baekhyun’s eyes floated a bit and the warm breath you felt coming from him was delivered in quicker puffs through his parted lips.

When he licked his lips, you could not help it, your eyes caught the motion as his tongue ran over his bottom lip and left wetness behind and by the time you realized what you had done — where you had looked — you had already done it, your stubborn eyes had already looked and in your mind a vivid replay was happening. You felt too much. This was too much. This was supposed to be fake. Why did he have to smell so fucking good and why was he so aware of every tiny detail about you he knew when something would overwhelm you and ruin your mood, so he used his own body to shield you from it and protect you. You cautiously pulled your eyes back up only to find him blinking too fast and he was dropping his hands from your face as he took a step back and away from the stifling closeness.

You were dizzy. You felt it all over. Your heart was racing and the warmth you felt traveling through your body sent waves through you. You had to rub lightly over your forearms to smooth out the goosebumps and Baekhyun was no longer facing you, but was staring off into the literal depths of the cold black ocean and you took a while to recover enough to walk by him toward the exit of the aquarium and back into the darkened city streets you knew as the real world.

The walk back to the car was quiet and had an odd flavor about it. You both could feel the end coming. It had been a wonderful date. You’d spent hours, just the two of you talking and laughing and exploring literally new worlds you hadn’t before experienced. You felt a sudden but definite melancholy to see the fancy circles that made up the logo of his car.  

“Hey, you want to take a walk?” Baekhyun’s voice halted your steps and you turned back to see him standing with a hand in his pocket, fidgeting in hidden, likely with the key fob to his car, and a new sort of nervous flush on his cheeks that you hadn’t seen since he first showed up at your bedroom door looking like a dashing Prince Charming ready to sweep you off your feet.

“Sure,” you said, meaning every bit of it and secretly extremely thankful that this evening wasn’t over yet.

The walk was peaceful. It was a bit chilly tonight and you didn’t even resist when you felt the warmth of the coat jacket he placed over your shoulders. You thought you’d become used to the smell of him by now, but clearly you were incapable of ever getting used to his smell.

The streets were mostly empty now that the night had grown stale and you walked side by side passing various touristy shops that had long since closed up for the evening. Ahead you could see a small street side cafe that sold warm teas and coffees and Baekhyun was pulling out his wallet before you even had the chance to look at him with hopeful delight all over your face. He ordered two hot coffees and you danced and celebrated when he handed the first one to you.

It warmed you from the inside and you paid no mind to the smudges of lipstick all over the white lid of your cup. The hot drink made you happy and you could see your breath like a dragon in the chilly night air around you. Each puff made Baekhyun smile and when he’d taken a particularly big drink from his cup he pulled his head back and puffed out three perfectly formed rings of warm air into the color air above his head. The rings grew and then faded quickly but you were so excited to see his trick that you made him do it again and again until he was puffing and out of breath  and laughing too much for any more cool rings to form. This man was full of secrets. Absolutely full of them!

The night was winding on. You could feel the lateness in your limbs and you’d long since finished your drinks and dropped your paper cups into a street side trash can. Your feet, you found were protesting. It wasn’t that they ached or hurt or anything like that. You weren't even that tired. You were just having trouble with the idea of this ending and the night being over.

Everything had to end eventually. You didn't even pout at all when he pulled open your door. You just climbed in and sat down, fastening your own seatbelt this time with a sense of finality looming in your mind along with a wagging finger that quietly scolded you for letting your guard down during this date.

The drive back home was quiet. He didn't even turn on the radio and even though he drove with one hand, he held his other hand firm atop his thigh.

The small touches and stolen glances were over. The date was over. He had done very well. You were thoroughly swept off your feet and his grade would be an A+. You would go back to your room and go to sleep and tomorrow morning when you woke up you’d find him back to his usual antics and maybe, maybe you’d even get him to ask Mia out on a date.

You swallowed the dryness in your throat and the familiar landmarks outside your apartment building called you back home. Baekhyun pulled into the parking garage and you did not wait for him to round the hood of the car to reach your door, you simply opened it yourself and pushed through it.

Baekhyun did well. You had given him a task and he’d done it. He deserved all the praise and recognition for a job well done. He’d taken it seriously just as he said he would. This dark mood that had suddenly come over you could not show. You shouldn’t do this to him.

You cared for him too much to ruin this sweet evening.

You loved him too much. This quiet secret usually echoed around inside of your heart and you winced to hear it peaking it’s way up into your running thoughts.

The apartment was dark and you walked through it easily, knowing exactly where you could walk without bumping into anything and he didn’t turn on any lights as he walked closely behind you. He hadn’t said anything to you on the drive home, nor did he speak right now as he walked you back to your bedroom door where he had picked you up.

You turned to face him now. You pushed a smile up to your lips and his face was mostly in the darkness, barely lit with the city lights from the window.  

“Thank you for a lovely evening, Baekhyun. It was perfect. You were perfect. Seriously, you are amazing.”

You leaned before he did and you felt the staggered response from his limbs as he wrapped both of his arms around your shoulders for the hug.

“Thank you for coming with me tonight,” he whispered against your ear and when you pulled out of the hug, your small smile was not returned. You could see enough of his face to see that he did not smile at you now.

Your hand was on your door and you turned and stepped inside, thankful that you had left your small table lamp on. The room was warm and inviting and you closed the door behind you with a soft click that sounded exactly like clapperboard snapped to signal the end of a movie scene. You could almost hear a director somewhere yelling cut. Everybody clapped for the job well done. All the actors could now go home. It was over.

Your shoes were off. You’d pulled off the earrings and had taken off your necklace and the delicate tennis bracelet’s clasp was so tiny you had to try a few times to get it open so you could take it off.

When you reached up to slip the strap of your dress off your shoulders a tiny sound interrupted you. It was almost like a knocking, but it was so soft you had to listen carefully to hear if it repeated again.

It did not, but you could not shake that feeling that it had happened and out of genuine curiosity you walked across your bedroom and pulled your bedroom door open.

Someone was there; Baekhyun was there, standing in nearly the exact same position as he had been, wearing the same clothes. The only difference was the sight mess to his hair and the definite pink shade you saw on his face even in the dim lighting from the windows.

“Peanut?” You couldn’t imagine what this was. He was finished. The assignment was finished and he had done perfectly, you’d said so already...but, his eyes. You caught that same look that you’d seen on him many times before. It was a look of hard determination that propelled him forward when he dove into some new and difficult project he had to master. If you had to give it a name, you’d call it his passion. The passion he had inside of him to do things right. To be perfect.

“I said I would take it seriously,” he said in a well controlled voice and you shook your head, not understanding what he meant. Did he have some regrets about how the night went? Did he feel that he had somehow failed to live up to the requirements you’d set forth for him as his teacher?

“The date, I told you I would.” He wasn't clarifying anything with his words.

It was then that he moved.

His hands were up and Baekhyun took a step closer to where you stood confused and surprised at the threshold of your bedroom door. He reached for you with both hands and you felt the warmth of his palms on your cheeks at the same time as you felt the exhale from his parted lips against your mouth. It happened in a single moment. His lips connected with yours and you gasped in a surprised breath. Baekhyun kissed you. His lips were on yours and he held your face tightly between both of his hands as he did it. This was it. This was his goodnight kiss at your front door. This was the end of the date.

You could just make out the ultra up close view of him, his fluffed up hair, the smoothness of his forehead, his eyes closed up tight and dark eyelashes spread over his cheeks and it was all a big blur and so you closed your eyes and your heart raged noisily inside of your chest with the sudden need you felt for this to happen.

Your own lips parted and you felt the tilt of his head as his bottom lip pushed out slipping perfectly between your own and you could not stop it. You could not control the tightness with which your hands clung to the cotton of his dress shirt and pulled him toward you. You could not contain the way his tongue brushed lightly against your own and the way you reacted to it. The light moan that escaped from your throat and bounced around inside of his mouth. The light draw you felt on your lip as he pulled lightly and sucked on your lip as he did it. The final pull was him pulling away.

He ended the kiss with a step backward and a drop of his hands from your face.

He had kissed you and you most definitely had kissed him back. The labored breathing you struggled to contain did nothing for the dizziness.  

“Goodnight,” he said with a roughness on his voice; plus the blown out look in his eyes was telling you of many forbidden things that he was running from now. Things that even he knew were a very bad idea.

This had been fake. This was supposed to be a lesson.

You stood at your doorway and watched him disappear into his bedroom and after standing frozen in your doorway you had no choice but to return to the quiet glowing comfort of your own bedroom and close your door too.

Your hands were shaking and you felt the trembling all over you as you looked around at the place you called home. The place you loved more than anything in the world except for maybe that man who was likely facing a very similar struggle behind his own closed bedroom door.

The only difference was just how much you had to lose if you gave in.

You loved him. You knew it deep down inside of your soul. It had been buried for so long deep in the frozen depths of your ocean that you thought it would never surface and consume you, yet now you knew you’d been a fool.

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5, Part 6

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