#this took so long <3 but im really happy with it!! i think i couldve done better with the lighting but im very tired rn glfglskdjfg

[moonlitkilljoy]

Raiju the kaiju: category IV, and number 1 in my heart

[myheartbelongstothefandom]

about the movie, i have ... a lot of mixed feelings, and its been a very long time since i even used this blog, but i need to ramble into the void about it.

first of all, i am actually really happy that there is new material, and i cried when i knew it was on the cinemas in my country and i cried non stop for a very long time, and i was happy while watching the movie, but it was lacking, to say the least, it was a bad movie. so its a bit infuriating to see so much praise going to it, when ...

first of all, its really frustrating that after four year all we get is one movie that doesnt even reaches 90 minutes (i do not know how it went i didnt read anything about the production or whatever went backstage, and tbh i dont think i care, 4 years is a lot of time, considering that the first three seasons were released one year apart from each other, and the fourth season even though it took them 3 years there was covid and ... there were in total 24 or 25 episodes. not 86 minutes)

i know im gonna say something that has already been said, but its very odd that it was a movie and not one full season?? theres no argument that would make it make sense to me why, for the love of god, they decided to make this arc a movie. theres so much to be said about it idek where to begin

if im correct, this game goes from the chpater 249 to 322 (i did not read the manga), and i do not like being the nerd but... all the four seasons, in total, are 85 episodes, meaning they adapted 249chapters to create those 85 episodes. so the 73 (from 249 to 322) chapters couldve been adapted into a whole season of 24 episodes !! its really odd that they chose to do a movie when there was so much material that couldve, and shouldve, been adapted.

this is a game that was awaited since the first season, it was the second practice match karasuno had, and it was a goal since the beginning, to play against nakome in a national tournament. the fact that they spent the time that would be like 4 episodes on this is mind blowing. the game against shiratorizawa was 10 episodes, the game agains (the game in the first season again dateko goes on for 2 episodes!!!) THE FIRST GAME AGAINST AOBA JOHSAI STARTS SOMEWHERE ON THE 19 EPISODE AND GOES ON UNTIL 24 !!!!!!!! BE FOR REAL BE FOR REAL PLS YES IT WAS AN IMPORTANT GAME BUT THERES NO COMPARASION

the flashbacks were interesting and i was rll glad i saw them but bc everything was so rushed, it just felt like chunks that they had to put there somewhere in the middle of the game. and while throughout the series it was works wonderfully and its really fluid, in the movie every time i was about to get inti the game there was a flashback....

one of the reasons why i love haikyuu is because they dont focus just on one character or one team (one of my favorite episodes is even winners and losers, season 1, ep 16): in this anime, because its volleyball, theres no need to have a villain, the motivation is always to win, and maybe the character has a reason or maybe it doesn't, but that doesnt matter. and they could paint the other teams as villains, but that would be cheap and tbh overdone, they are not the big bad wolves trying to takee away the victory of the main character, they are just highschool students that want to play and to win to keep on playing. so the fact that they only focused on kenma, and kuroo ig, really took away some of the charm of haikyuu.

there were very few memorable moments, sure the final kenma pov was cool af, the shot of kenma and hinata with a knife was amazing, and the animation of kenma putting hinata on a cage was also cool. and i did like the way kenma looked kinda... sad?? when hinata started to be down, but ..... it just wasn't enough.

it wasn't enough to the overall quality haikyuu as as a whole, and tbh i dont even think it was a good movie

[lou-blooms-bitch]

diary entry

idk why i made the title rainbow i just remembered i could and thought why the fuck not

but today i did fuckall whats new. well no i didnt really do fuckall, i woke up at around 10 i think then took a nap at 12 until about 1:20ish then took a shower sometime at 2 then did what i needed to do like shaved my legs and whatnot, i made my bed after too (i put my bedsheet on AMAZINGLY btw. very very proud of how i did it even tho i was embarassingly out of breath afterwards...) but getting into a clean bed while clean with freshly shaved legs is FUCKING HEAVEN !!!!! if only i had more silk sheets instead of just one smh.. in fairness tho this one is still kinda silky just softer ??? idk.. cuz yk the way some bedsheets are cotton but like fuzzier cotton ?? this ones like a less fuzzy cotton in a way. but yeah i didnt really do anything else.. i never painted my nails either i couldnt have been fucked, ill have to do them tomorrow or if i cant sleep tonight do it then.

im nearly finished my game too !!! honestly a little sad about it cuz i love this game so much its so nice and calming.. oh powerwashing simulator how i love you... i also was kinda pissed off cuz i found out that i was using the second best nozzle in the game instead of the best one.. wanna know why ?? I DIDNT FUCKING KNOW THERE WAS ANOTHER ONE !!!!!! i was so pissed cuz at that point i was like halfway through the last cleaning session and i was just like sitting there thinking this couldve been 10x easier for me ??? but i was just an idiot ?!?!!? either way it doesnt really matter cuz the game is still enjoyable either way. but still fuck me.

my friend just texted me, were talking about our tattoos for tomorrow.. yk i love her, shes a great girl. sometimes i feel like she hates me and doesnt actually like being around me or shes like just plotting against me.. not like PLOTTING against me but like waiting for me to fuck up rlly bad so she can just say how much she hates me and dip. i get scared about that a lot, i get it with like everyone i know. im pretty sure thats just my mentality tho.. i think its a thing where like i hate and think so badly of myself that i cant imagine someone genuinely liking me. it fucking sucks being like this.

oh i also spilled makeup remover on my laptop today. was NOT happy at all... i covered my face in sudocream like a face mask cuz apparently it helps your skin or whatever and i got it too close to my eyes and it was burning so i got cotton buds and put makeup remover on them cuz it was easier to take the sudocream off that way and when i put makeup remover on cotton buds i like squeeze the bottle to do it quicker and get it like wetter, when i was doing that my hand slipped and sprayed my makeup remover ALL. OVER. MY. LAPTOP. the keyboard and the touchpad started having a fucking mind of their own and i was getting really scared cuz at the moment my entire life is my laptop, all my friends are here, all my games are here, like everything.. it ended up being fine tho thank all the fucking gods. some of the keys were a bit fucked up so i just took the caps off and got some tissue and rubbed the shit out of the underneaths and then got my hair dryer and blew it all over the keyboard and now its fine !!! the girl is okay !!!!!!

as im typing this my cat started scratcing the inside her little box lol, shes so cute.. i went over to look inside and catch her during the act but she stopped and purr/meowed at me it was really cute. i lifted her up and started kissing her but she didnt really like that.. i held her a little weirdly too so im scared i hurt her a little but i think shes okay, she was most likely just uncomfortable. i didnt hold her for long anyways cuz i 1. dont want her to be upset 2. dont want her to scratch me and 3. dont want her to be mad at me

im not sure if i have anything else to talk about but im really excited to get my tattoo tomorrow, really fucking nervous tho... i really feel like the guy doing it will be a creep. he just randomly texted my friend and stuff and he wass like oh ill keep the shop open for you blah blah blah, like it just seems a bit weird. i hope hes okay tho, even if hes a little weird its alright i guess. i suppose if anything ill bring something just incase i need to defend myself, i have a horrible feeling about him.. like a SICKENING feeling about him. like when i think about him i start to feel my chest and throat get heavy and it feels like my throat is closing up. i think thats just my nerves tho, cuz yk hes a man who the fuck would trust a random ass man ?????

but yeah i think im gonna go now, probs gonna paint my nails and go to bed sooooo

there is cats fighting outside the little babies :( be friends please !!!!

well im gonna go the cat fight noises are making me really sad cuz i cant help them

goodnight tumblr

[fleastinger]

Fucking christ, i think i need to move on. I keep clinging to the thought of you whenever a crisis happens. I miss talking to you even though its a fantasy at this point and not a risk id want to take. Or just looking at you, hearing from you, even though i dont want to risk the growth and happiness ive had for the last few months. Its maddening. Its evidence of how codependent i was on you, of obsessively looking at you the way you looked at me. I was constantly checking too, always knowing what you were doing and if you watched something or thought of me. I was always trying to meet you on it.

I started blue lock finally. After trying and failing to start the manga 3 times. I think ive watched probably 30 or 49 different once piece episodes, trying to think about who was your favorite and all the things you liked about one piece. I

I keep reading between too many lines just looking at your soundcloud. Its driving me crazy. I feel like you're doing it too. I never know if you repost songs intentionally, to reach me, as if you watch me change my icon every few weeks. You used to ask me to stay quiet whenever you'd play certain songs in the car, just vibing to them and hoping i would understand how you felt about things through them.

I've never been so hot potato with my soundcloud. I got too nosy. When i noticed you unblocked me on instagram, i unblocked you on soundcloud. I missed your message, and it's been hell ever since. And funny, since i was told starting antidepressants would stop me from fixtating on you.

Inever know whatever traces ive left of myself that you see or not. I really tried to wipe myself off of twitter.

Im sorry. I cant trade the amount i miss you with the peace and healing I've had in the months since. I think you're better off without me, that you would resent me for making you hope for me even though ive dated people between us getting together each time. I think i can't be with you until you fix your health and your life, something my therapist calls us codependent trauma on each other.

I havent dreamed of you in a while. But whenever life gets tough, whenever shit gets too real, i think about the feeling of holding you. The way your hair felt under my fingers, how I'd try to be gentle, knowing how sensitive your scalp was. How it felt to cry into you, hearing you tell me how much you loved me and wanted whats best for me. I miss how you loved, even as i learn to love another. I wish i wasn't so controlling and mean, and you weren't someone i was scared of, someone i wanted badly to be doing better only to see relaspe and break my trust .

You never let me into your drug addiction. If you hid that, you could hide anything from me and i would still love you for it, which made me mad.

So when i think of your sweet lips, and the happiness you made me feel, i remind myself of the day you took those muscle relaxers. How i cried and begged for you to get help. How i kept changing what i wanted because i started to believe less and less on if things could work out. How i left, just to go home, cry , and spend a week in bed mad over you.

When i think of the future we couldve had, with our beautiful babies with curly hair and long lashes, maybe freckles and definitely brown hair, I remind myself of the past we did have. Of you feeling like i abandoned you, and always thinking i would leave.

So im sorry. I hope you moved on from me. I hope you liked that song because you met someone that made you listen to mariya takeuchi instead of my birth month being in september. I hope your emojis on your profile page is for someone else, not me. And i hope you forgot my twitter name being fleastinger, that you never find this page of my sorry ass trying to get over you.

[rqlaji2]

Immediately before the second show i am on the hotel tv switching between the film fargo and episodes of wwe rivals. Latter had ads and the former didnt though so I kinda ditched austin bret for the last 45 minutes of fargo, even though ive seen fargo two times already. One thing on austin bret before I move on is they showed that clip where bret finally comes out end of sentence no when bret finally comes out and austin and pillman are backstage and bret is like ok fine lets have a mania match 🙄 and pillman looks sooo happy and austin looks at him like he is the stupidest son of a bitch hes ever seen and pillman is like oh ok sorry . Just all in facial expressions, so good. I love pillman so much, I wish he wasnt caught up in one of the worst angles ive ever heard of before he died. Im sure there are worse ones, just that ive heard of. I’m new here, I dont fucking know anything.

I was row 3 for this show, pretty much directly in front of linnell. I need to ask him if he was smiling at me forgetting the lyrics to fucking birdhouse in your soul or something else. Conflicting reports on whether danny was playing with a broken foot (show 1) or ankle (show 2), but ive always been enamored with his stage presence on synopsis for latecomers especially, hes kinda 😳 a little bit. Birdhouse second is..bizarre, I am aching pretty bad right now and I still wish I couldve jumped to the greatest song ever written. Moonbeam rays is so nice. Bangs is kind of rhythmically complex, awesome song and awesome that they played it, tune, etc. Man its so loud in here continues to be the greatest song of all time. Mink car song is so smooth, what a cool track. Marty triangle. Oghhhghgh dont even get me started on cyclops rock, it’s like the only reason I went to these shows. I’m just kidding id see them all the time if I could, but I FUCKING LOVE CYCLOPS ROCK, IT GOES SO HARD and I relate to the lyrics a lot and I literally TOLD YOU HOW TO CYCLOPS ROCK, AND THEN YOU GO AND TURN AROUND AND BREAK MY HEART. He did the original nixon line too which is so fucking awesome, best song ever methinks. I cant believe it took this long for me to hear older live, but it was almost worth the wait, what a cool fucking song, so good live. I wasnt at a great angle to see the Damn Good Times Dan Miller Balcony Guitar Solo but after it flans said “dan miller, the peoples guitarist” or something and I laughed really hard. Also incredible that theyre calling this show the big show sometimes . WEEEEEELLL

I hate bottled water so much but a tickle in my throat kept waking me up the night before. OH MY GOD, THEY PLAYED SUBLIMINAL AGAIN. Flans was actually a little far away but he came to the right for darlings of lumberland, oh god he was so close . Of all songs! Then I got to scream THE STICK at him, how surreal and also fulfilling. Dont lets start is the best song ever. Fuck, this famous polka had someone in the crowd strumming flansys guitar 😍. St paul fucking loves join us, apparently. Doctor worm is still the best song ever. Encore 1 started with istanbul just the two of them!!!??? They make each other laugh so much, I love them i love them i love them. I know i said spy gets better every time but this was the lesser of the weekends spies. I think he did the sound of the 30s bit last time at the fitz, lol. Did i mention that the end of the tour is the best song ever. SHES ACTUAL SIZE ON THE SETLIST BUT NOT PLAYED??? Also, im beyond just a little pissed off they didnt play bills bills bills. They did at the show i didnt fucking see.

But not to end on a bad note, I love they might be giants so much, I dont even care that it feels like my calves will never not be sore.

Actually im gonna end on the episode i got back to the hotel to was rock austin, and they had the clip where austins on the titantron like when your pager says 3:16 that means im about to whoop your ass, Or whatever tf and rock takes out his pager and does his stupid giant wide eyed rock look and turns around and does indeed get his ass whooped. Possibly greatest moment in all of television

[6lost6but6trying]

In the middle

August 13, 2023

I had to choose for the better

August 3-5

The hardest days that didnt have to happen but they did

They were really well needed for me to realize and learn to choose whats best for me

Her

Or

Her

Which one?

I liked one alot since January

I liked one since late June and form to love her a month later romantically

But i formed a fear

A fear of losing both

August 3-5th

Scary days but well needed

The one that nurtures me and accepts me for me making me laugh and happy

Or

The one that makes my heart race in a happy way, the one that makes me weak to my knees because im lovesick?

Id do anything for both

But

One pushed me towards the other

While the other pushed me back to her

Im stuck in between

My heart throws a tantrum being forced to choose

My best friend

Or

My crush?

As i was stuck between the two

I needed time with the crush to talk for a few hours…

I realized she thought it over that my best friend was the right choice for me anyways

It was the push i needed from her again in order to help me leave

Even tho i didnt want the push

I wish they both were ok with eachother

Maybe it couldve worked

She took responsibility and apologized

I hugged her august 3rd just like Bri did to me back then and thats how i was reminded that she would destroy me….

For the first time ever she cracked

For the first time ever she cried in my arms

For the first time ever i hear over my shoulder

“I just want you to be happy”

“And i know its with her”

I agreed but it still hurt when i wanted her for so long yet choose not to for the best for me

She knew i would destroy myself for her because ill get lovesick again and get worse…

My best friend keep me calm and focused on where i need to be and makes me happy

I love my best friend

The words from my crush repeat over and over

“Shes a good person”

“You need her”

“Shes something i will never be”

“She makes u happier”

“She cares for you”

“Please do yourself a favor and go talk to her right now and erase every connection we have“

“Thank you for your friendship”

“You were the loyalest work husband and i appreciate it, ill hold that dearly”

“Please go to her, be with her”

“I have work to do on myself so i can be who i want to be without letting fear control me“

“I care about you but im not this selfish “

I dont think those words will ever fade out….

[honeylovecult]

ahhhhh

[furymint]

2022 Creator Reflection

1. ppt meme

the thing im happiest with this year, tbh! i put a lot of work and care into each slide—and i think it shows. at the same time, this thing i made to help my writing be more accessible just became something that required a commitment to read from its length. i hope anyone that read it found it worthwhile! i love rereading it myself.

2. free

jillian’s prophecy attacked again. new florence + the machine song, new bri edit. my motivation to create things has been really low so i tried to limit myself to only devoting an hr or so to this simple edit. i think its cute

3. goal of the century

it doesnt look like i did a lot to this edit, but i added a lot of lighting to it. it was nice editing a picture of lselle and it reminded me a bit of how fun it was to have something i wanted to badly in the game as the seagull minion

4. the loneliest

this one took a few days to complete. i listened to maneskin a lot in the car this year to keep my spirits up, so its ironic that this is the only song i made something for. i used a lot of bad pics to make it so it was a greater struggle than it couldve been, but im still happy w the way it came out even if it didnt linger in my head afterwards

5. will it snow? [nsfw]

it took me a very long time to write this and, altho its not remotely close to my usual vibe, i think its well done. mostly i think it was a v good exercise for all that never made it into the final product. i wrote three different carriage scenes to find the heart of whole piece. 

❌ impulsivity > fury > humiliation > resolve

(hoare’s outside, nol jumps out w no plan but to confront him, realizes how stupid he is when hoare a) insults him or b) escapes him, and he determines that he can do nothing until the recital in the evening)

❌ impulsivity > rationale > protectiveness > calm

(hoare’s outside, nol jumps out w no plan but to confront him, realizes how stupid he is before he moves away, so he gets back in the carriage, still mad with adrenaline, embarrassment, and the #masculine impulse of protection all manifested in possessiveness, then a gradual lowering of hackles)

✔️ ostracism > fear > rationale > calm

(looping back to the fake community at the beginning, a return to his fear of societal expectations & his lack of a community where he can be himself, the value of secrecy, the joy of secrecy)

i always loved the original carriage scene and im glad i got to actually finish it. i didnt get to do armistice day this year and i also didnt finish may other things, but at least i have this.

i have to confront more and more often that my drive to engage w ffxiv is almost depleted, and its a really really lonely feeling. i dont know what ill do in the new year about it. i know ill continue my literature work/research and keep drafting my outline for a complete transition of nol and eli into wwi austria-hungary. i want to write more!

past reflections:  2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021

[chamomilesweettea]

OMGOKGOGMGOGMOGMG YOU WRITE FOR BOB AND BOSIP OKOKOKOKOOKOKOKOK SO HOW ABOUT BOB AND BOSIP BOTH HAVE A CRUSH ON THE SAME PERSON AND KINDA FIGHT FOR THEM AND LIKE THEY TRY TO MAKE THE OTHER ONE JEALOUS AND STUFF AND CAN THE READER BE FEMALE???

Ofcourse! thank you for the request love, also im not quite sure if you want it to end in a poly type realationship, or just have 2 different endings- so soz if its not what you wanted! I can redo it if you want to! :)

F/L/N-first letter of your name

𝐁𝐨𝐛 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐩 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Y/N wasnt really the type to make friends and/or get into a relationship, but ever since she met Bob and Bosip, alot of things have changed in her life, now onto the main story

𝐘/𝐍'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕:

It was a gloomy day, it looked as if it was about to rain and so far everything went terribly, as if this day couldnt get worse i forgot my laptop at college. I was walking to a pedestrian crossing until i spotted two of my friends, Bob and Bosip, as i came walking closer to them i heard bits of the conversation they were having, "Dude! You knew i liked her!" I heard Bob say,"Well its not my fault, shes just kind and has a great sense of humor and sarcasm" Bosip spat back at Bob suprisingly calmly, and so on the arguing continued until i broke it off with a loud fake cough, "erm, sorry to ruin yall guyses argue, but who is the lucky gal that yall are fighting over" i said with a smirk while slinging my arms around their shoulder, not gonna lie, finding out that they like someone did kinda hurt, its not the fact that they love another, im happy for them for finding someone special! Its the fear of our friendship getting broken. "O..Oh!,,- uhm- well,,-" Bob started, "S..she has H/L H/C hair, beautiful E/C eyes and her name is Y-MgHmN-" Bob then gets cut off by Bosip slapping a hand over his mouth to prevent 'daydreaming Bob' from spilling information that the said gal is you. You just looked at them confused and just shrugged it off, "so her name is F/L/N? Hmm thats a unique name, i like it, might take her for myself" i said (Y/N:" BI PANIC BI PANIC BI PANI-") "W..WELL,,!- you cant technically date her,,-" Bosip said nervously thinking i would stop asking questions about the lucky girl. "Well i have to go now, my cat will be pissed at me for not feeding him in time, or he will just piss on the fucking floor lol, anyways, goodbye!" I waved to the two with a closed-eye smile, leaving them be awe-struck. The two then looked at eachother with a challenging look and then Bosip said "Who ever wins her heart, gets to keep her.", "bring it on piss coloured shark!" they then parted ways.

[𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐲]

𝐁𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐩'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕:

I was walking to Y/N's house to give her the Kandi i made for her, but soon got stopped at the sight of Bob standing at her porch with Flowers in hand, "didnt see ya there" he said, "maybe you should go back home" he then pushed me into the bush next to the stairs then rang the bell, Y/N came out of the house *cough* looking as beautiful as ever *cough* then stared at the beautiful bouqet in Bobs hands. "Here you go m'lady, a beautiful bouqet for a beautiful girl" he said flirtatiously, i could feel my blood boiling, after i few minutes i heard them send a fareawell to eachother and then the door closing, i slowly rose from the bush,glarring daggers at a smirking Bob, "what the hell are you smirking at" i said calmly, "nothing, im just thinking about how my victory will be played" he said. I just sighed and stomped away from him feeling sorrow.

[𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐲]

𝐍𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕:

It was another day, yet another fight between the two fellas who fell inlove with the same person,but this time, the shark has caught its pray in time /j (that joke was important, you can fight me)

2𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐎𝐕:

Bosip was nervously waiting in a cafe where he asked you if you two could meet up, he then looked up once the bell chimed to see you looking amongst the crowds to find him, when you spotted him you quickly ran to the table and sat down across him, "sorry for being late! My cat was being a bitch cause i didmt give him pets, anyways, wanna order now?" you looked straight into his eyes, that moment he thought he was on cloud 9, he felt his stomach churn and he began to stutter alot "w..well,,- we could g..get F/D if you want t..to!-" he said looking to the side, trying to look anywhere but you, you just smiled at him and replied with "sure!". When you guys ordered you just started a small talk, the bell chimed again implying that someone just came into the cafe, once Bosip looked at the said person the smile he had dropped a little, "is everything okay?" You asked him concerned, "yeah! everything is just fine,, heh,,-" he replied, Bob was standing at the door seemingly to look for someone, Bosip then had an idea and took your hand and started softly going over the lines on your hand, you jst stared at him cause you didnt know he had a soft side, hes usually always calm and monotone, seeing him like this made your heart melt. Bob then spotted you two sitting at a table, he felt really jealous that his FRIEND was holding his crushes hand instead of him, he just straight up left the cafe without a word. This went on for weeks and weeks until a whole month passed, you were starting to get suspicious at the two, one day you just desided to eavesdrop on the two who were having a heated argument, "Cant you see!? She clearly likes me more!" Bob yelled, "really!? Cant you just move on and accept that she likes me!? I even held her hand!" Bosip then snapped back.Bob started "Ugh, wait a minute, what if we ask her?", "ask who?" you came out from behind the door, the two then yelped at the sudden appearance of you, "N..Nobody!-" they both yelled in sync, "yeah no, im not buying it" they then both sighed, "well,Y/N, Bosip and i, from the very start we met you, we thought you were the most beautiful girl we ever saw, and well, we saw you as special, so what im trying to say is, Y/N, we like you, like like you, like a lot" Bob confessed, you then snickered at the two now confused boys, "is that what this was all about? You two trying to make each otger jealous and win my heart? Oh boys, you couldve just said that before! I also took a quite liking to you two too" you dmiled at them, they just stared wide-eyed at your confession, did you really mean what you said? "but, how are you going to choose who to date?" Bosip questioned, "dont need to, we can just be a poly realationship" you kissed their cheeks while putting your arms around their shoulders, "now this is why were called the pussy slayers" Bob joked, "BOB, YOU MOTHERFU-"

[I HAVE FINISHED THIS, IT TOOK ME 3 DAYS, SORRY THAT IT TOOK DO LONG, ANYWAYS, thank you for the request again! And yes, i headcanon that Bosip loves to make Kandi, fight me in dms, anyways, thats it for today, bye-bye! :D (ALSO TY SO MUCH FOR 6 FOLLOWERS AA)]

[hysokaz]

why did hisoka not kill gon in zevil island?

he wanted to see gon grow. he even said so himself, he wants to see gon grow into an opponent worth killing. but we all know that.

he wants to see gon grow stronger so that he will reach a level where he feels he can fight him and get a good match out of it. but thats a boring answer. i think that hisoka didnt kill gon in zevil island, despite the fact that gon was down and paralyzed, because he respected gon in that moment.

hisoka doesnt really have "respect" for a lot of people. or things. i think his respect can go hand in hand with if he wants to fight someone or not. does hisoka mind killing, or fighting? of course not, but theres a difference between him not minding and him WANTING to kill/fight. you have to impress him or at least do something that makes him reasonably think that youre "worthy" of fighting him. some people he respects include illumi, chrollo, machi, etc. anyone who he would REALLY like to fight some day. i dont think he respected gon in the beginning of the exams; i think he thought it would be fun to fight gon, but i dont think he thought it would be any time soon that the urge to fight him would pop up.

the start of his respect, and urge to fight gon grew the second that he saw gon with his own badge in hand.

so why does this matter?

because the respect gon gained from hisoka kept him alive.

i think its interesting to compare the way hisoka views targets he doesnt MIND fighting and targets he WANTS to fight, aka, respects. agon, the bird-looking guy who he kills, was nothing to hisoka. hisoka was in a trance when he killed him, gon even said that hisoka wouldve just killed anyone he saw. when hisoka killed agon it was quick, and hisoka let agons body fall without a second glance. in fact, the next thing he does is a clear indicator of the way he views the people he respects. he drops EVERYTHING, in quiet shock, to look for the person that ripped the badge of his chest. you know its shock because hisoka places his hand on his chest, where his badge had been, to see if it truly was gone. its enough of a shock for him to completely snap out of his bloodlust trance and to focus all of his attention to the person who took them down.

gon

and when he saw gon, what was his reaction? he was happy.

gon is special, in a way. hisoka saw potential in gon, but he didnt seem to care too much for him. it was enough to make an impression, though. that impression instantly grew once he saw gon was the one to take his badge; he realised that gon truly would grow into an opponent worthy of killing.

it almost seems like hisoka WAS going to kill gon at first, the way he reacted after spotting him, but i can GUARANTEE you he wasnt. hisoka was no longer in a trance once he saw gon, he was completetly calm and in his sound mind (as much as that counts). hisoka approaches gon, or at least begins to, calmly and quietly. he visibly shows himself stepping towards gon, he doesnt try to go quick before gon can react, in fact, he waits for gon to get over his startlement before approaching. gon, still scared for his life (for good reason) ran away. but i can still guarantee that he wasnt in a trance even without him not physically being on the screen-- all of it revolves around geretta. he kills geretta quietly, gon doesnt even know hisoka kills geretta until after it happens. hisoka is careful, collected, and assassinates him without a sound. had hisoka been in a trance he wouldve been running to kill gon, and that wouldve made geretta hear him and it wouldnt have been such an easy kill; when hisoka is in a trance, he doesnt care who sees him-- hes so overwhelmed by his own bloodlust to not sense the presence of others. theres no reasonable way that hisoka wouldve calmly approached geretta if he was truly in an urge to kill gon, therefore he didnt want to kill gon.

hisoka is not too... prideful. i wouldnt use the word to describe him at least. its not like he wakes up in the morning to admire himself, hes never said something that leads me to believe he even tells himself hes strong. i dont know how to explain it, but hisoka doesnt NEED to tell himself that hes strong; hes confident, but hes not vain. i would only ever call him overconfident when bloodlust gets to his head-- but when that happens, hisoka plain cant THINK, so i dont think its too far to use that. the only counterargument against this that i can think of is the way he is with chrollo, but i havent thought much about their relationship and i dont want to bring that up now. what im trying to say is that hisoka couldve honestly given less of a shit if he lost his own badge. it wouldnt mean anything to him so long he could still win. but hes not stupid, he knows the value of a badge. the knows the value that gaining an opponents badge would mean to someone, i think he wouldnt exactly KNOW know but i think he would have a hunch that it WOULD mean something to gon.

so i think that hisoka giving gon his badge would be a sign of respect, as well. he COULDVE taken all the badges he needed, he COULDVE just let gon be, but instead he went out of his way to gift gon his badge. this wasnt mockery, like gon took it. it was a sign of respect, because hisoka WANTS gon to pass. he knows hes going to be fine even if he has to get 3 more cards and gives his own to gon so that he may pass. its the thing that sparked my analysis, it was CLEAR that it was a sign of respect.

i have one more argument. believe it or not, knocking down gon was another sign of respect. while yes it brought gon to a very low point, hisoka didnt mean for that to happen. him knocking gon down was mercy, in hisokas eyes. he obviously doesnt want gon to not pass, its obvious. another sign is that geretta is killed. hisoka couldve let gon deal with it, i mean geretta didnt give a lethal dose, but hisoka didnt let that happen. he dropped his badge and left it with gon, and ran off with gerettas. if gon passed and if he passed, he was fine with that.

its all respect. he has enough respect for gon to want him to live (for now) and pass.

so why did hisoka not kill gon in zevil island when he had every chance? he had too much respect for gon to do it.

[stanharu]

beastars episode 24 thoughts!

this post got kinda long i have Many Thoughts on this one

Overall I had fun watching this ep but I could really tell it was rushed and there was so much that got cut, which makes me super sad. our fears about the finale having pacing issues due to all the added scenes & rearranging were confirmed & it rly sucks, but i'll elaborate more on that in a bit.

this week's ep covered the end of chapter 92, chapters 93-97, and included small bits of chapters 98 & 99.

so the ep starts with the ED and the latter part of the tunnel scene with ibuki and louis. i liked the visual effect they used to show that they were in the dark. louis' voice acting was also On Point. for the most part i think this scene was done pretty well but I can tell it's being rushed also. I really wish we got more buildup and narration instead of just jumping straight to ibuki telling louis to shoot him. the way it is in the anime feels less impactful imo.

also im sad we didnt get to see this in the anime

before i move on, i wanna talk a bit about louis and his relationship w/ the shishigumi and ibuki. i feel like in the anime quite a few of the lil moments that really endear you to the shishigumi and also ibuki were either cut or kinda glossed over, which is strange to me considering how much effort and care went into the ED. it's very emotional and good but i feel like maybe anime onlies are missing out only seeing the anime and the MV. but idk.

legosi and riz's fight was quite rushed as well. there's so much narration and dialogue missing from it and that really rubs me the wrong way. It wasn't all bad but compared to the manga I just don't think it's as good. I will say tho that I really liked the sequence w legosi and the moths. I thought it looked really nice and was pretty well done.

also i liked how the backgrounds had some anti-yahya graffiti, its a nice touch imo

it says "high quality horse meat"

I was happy to see legosi do the "tell me more" pose but I'm honestly disappointed that the anime took out the whole exposition about why legosi did it. like i feel like without that it's just legosi being weird when he has a reason for it!!! This is just one example of the anime taking out crucial narration during the fight.

I also think it's kinda weird how they changed how louis shows up at the fight. im not sure how i feel about riz just charging at him like that, but i liked how legosi kicked him before they ran lol.

i dont have much to say about pina's small scene but I did wanna say that during my first watch thru of the ep i was too distracted trying to read the graffiti behind him that i didn't notice him getting his phone out of the dumpster and calling the cops lmao

it says "devour yahya"

and now... here we are... the predation scene.

overall i thought it was pretty well done but, like the rest of the ep, i could tell it was also being kinda rushed. some important beats werent given enough time to really sink in, and there's a few bits of narration taken out of this part as well that i find disappointing :^(

tho i did like how the anime called back to this scene in s1 when legosi mentions utilizing his strength.

also this part where louis is remembering ibuki had me like😭

I also really liked seeing louis cry. I was crying too sjdflskjdflsjkdf. i thought that scene was really good, its prolly my favorite part of the ep tbh. getting to hear the whole predation scene voiced made me kind of a mess lol. i really liked louis' expressions throughout this whole ep too. studio orange used their whole louis expression budget on these last 2 eps lmao.

seeing legosi instantly get all beefed up was great too. he looked a little ridiculous but i kinda loved it lol. he's so huge and poofy. i love him.

big pomeranian

anyway, im also sad they took out louis' line about being reduced to a flashback character lol. instead he tells legosi "be a hero" again which... im not sure about that change. i liked the part with riz thinking back about tem tho. tho imo the way riz realizes he's in the wrong feels pretty sudden. again adding to how rushed the whole ep feels.

before i move on again i just wanna say legosi looks so cute. even all puffed up and covered in blood. how does he do that

baby boy baby. i wanna ruffle his cheek floofs.

i think one of the things im most disappointed about from this whole ep was how the fight got wrapped up. i really like how the cops show up and totally shift the tone in the manga jslkdfjskljdf. im also really sad we didnt get this interaction

tthe anime really took out most of the sillier moments from the finale, which makes me pretty sad to think about. i know the anime and manga have different tones but pls let the boys be silly sometimes!!

the next part where legosi and louis finally establish their friendship was really cute tho ❤️ even tho it was pretty different i enjoyed it a lot.

BABIESSSS 🥺😭❤️❤️

the wrap-up for this arc and this episode gave me whiplash sdjlfkjsdf. it literally speedruns thru legosi's predation conviction, being released, louis & haru's graduation, and legosi deciding he's going to drop out of school. that is SO MUCH AT ONCE. also i was holding out hope that legosi would have his new years call with haru after the fight instead but that didnt happen!! so it just got cut!!! kinda mad about that tbh. legosi and haru having a lil scene at the very end made up for it a lil bit but that's still one of haru's few moments in this arc that's just not included.

we didnt even get the part wher legosi learns he can't marry haru bc of his conviction.

ive been really hoping for a season 3 announcement once this season ended. with all the background allusions to yahya, the added plot point of someone stealing elephant tusks, and sebun and melon's lil cameos in this season, it seemed to me that studio orange was kinda teasing a 3rd season. but now, with the dismissive way the anime ended, and paru's note from earlier today, im less sure about the possibility of a 3rd season. i'd still like to see the rest of the series animated, but i guess we'll just have to wait and see if more anime is announced in the future.

if we do get another season in the future i just hope that we swing back around and actually address the things that got completely glossed over in the last couple minutes of this episode instead of charging forward w/o touching them again.

i really think the finale for this arc should've been two episodes at least. not including the tunnel scene. i think then things wouldn't have felt so rushed. people have been saying this season really would have benefitted from at least 1 extra episode and i cant help but agree. some have even suggested a whole 24 episodes just for this arc, but i think that this arc couldve been done properly with 12 or 13 episodes if there was some better prioritizing on what to include and what to cut.

like i dont mind not getting the parts about legosi's family if they can be addressed somehow in a future season (or if theres no more future anime seasons thats a plot thread that doesnt have to be worried about). i could have lived w/o seeing sheila & peach's chapter animated if it meant more time for the focus of this arc. and was the kangaroo red herring really necessary?

adaptation wise, i dont think this season was as good as the first. i still think it did fairly well, but i know that it could have been much better. ive been excited to watch this season with my friends once the dub releases, but now im wondering if i should just tell them to read the manga instead. sighs idk. perhaps it comes thru better as a bingewatch, or perhaps im being a bit too harsh. idk. at some point ill do a rewatch and see how i feel about the season as a whole, but that wont be for a while.

if you've read this far, thanks for reading my ramblings!! it's been fun to make these posts every week and im gonna miss getting new episodes every week.

[ivyuns]

love me in a year ✰❆♣♞

bang chan

genre: angst, fluff 

word count: 2.4k

warnings: kidnapping, restraints, y/n gets pregnant, grinding, drowning, weapons, a bit suggestive. if i missed anything lol oops

A/N: another shet show + from 365 dni (the ending isnt exactly like the movie btw)

for my gurlieeeee + happy birthday to @stanstraykidswoo​ <3

masterlist

mafialeader!bangchan x fem!reader

enjoying the summer breeze on the islands of hawaii, next to your friend made you feel relaxed. from all the work and stress you did, you finally earned yourself a vacation.

“babe!”

opening your eyes, you see your boyfriend (in a unhappy relationship) walks towards you. taking off your glasses and sitting up next to the pool, waiting what your boyfriend had to tell you. “i just got back from seeing the volcanoes babe! you shouldve seen it-” “we were supposed to go look at it together, dumbass” you cut your boyfriend off.

“w-wait y/n-” running away before he said anything, you got lost in a dark area. wasnt just sunny? seeing a group of guys look at you while trying to come closer. damn these outfits. your outfit consist of a short flowy, off the shoulder dress with heels. running with shaky legs, you looked around and saw everything get dark.

“are you lost babygirl?”

waking up in a soft bed, you look over and look at the unfamiliar room youre in. “where am i?” you whispered softly. walking towards a door to the hallway, the door wont budge open. shaking the door knob, it still wont burst open. giving up, you go lay back down on the bed.

closing your eyes to relax, you hear the door unlocking. quickly putting on your heels, you open the door and see nobody. following to which ever door took you, it seem endless. the endless numbers of stairs and doors you went though, you came across to a massive painting of a portrait of yourself hanging on the dinning room’s wall.

“oh my god”

continuing to follow where your legs take you, you were yanked away from seeking to your freedom. “are you lost babygirl?”. feeling someones presence behind you, you see a man. someone who you never seen.

“who are you and what do you want from me” you say and slowly back away from him. “chris is the name. you see, five years ago, i saw you on a beach. then suddenly i got shot and all i could think was you. these pass five years, ive been trying to find you and now” chris pauses his sentence and walks to a cup of ice, making you suck on it. “now i have you”

spitting the ice out, you got angry. “so what? you think kidnapping me is some kind of way to have me?” chris gets angry after your tone of your voice you gave him. he pushes you on a chair and chokes you lightly.

“i will give you 365 days to make you fall in love with me. and if that doesnt work, i will release you.” chris slowly lets go of your neck and continues talking. “i promise i will not touch you without your permission.”

chris gets interrupt by his phone. reaching his pocket, he sees his mafia friend who works with him calling him for help in the front. running to where to meet him at, you gave a few minutes before running on your feet again, trying to escape.

finally outside with a big open field in front of you, where you will be free. running, you stop midway as you see chris kill a man. witnessing what happened, you pass out due to pressure from everything.

-

the next morning, you wake up in the same room before but a whole different dress on you and a shirtless chris sitting in a chair in front of you. “let me out of here now” you shouted at him. “i need to get back to my family, my boyfriend!”. “you really think he still loves you? take a look at this” chris says and throws a small stack of pictures. pictures of him fucking another girl.

“a-are you serious?”

“yes im serious. oh and we’ll be leaving this place tomorrow. be ready” chris says and exits the room. “where are we going?” you quickly grab his wrist and stops. “to australia”

landing and going to the hotel. chris stops you and gives you the keycard to your room. “my room is next to yours if you need me”. nodding your head a yes, you enter your room and place your bags down and sighed. what is happening right now.

chris walks out of his room to see you look like a goddess. “y/n” chris calls out. turning around, chris grins with his dimples showing and grabbing your hand to head to the place you two are meeting with. chris opens the passenger door for you and makes his way to the drivers seat after youre in. while driving, he places his hands on your thigh, making you want more of him. avoiding his hand, you close your eyes.

arriving at your destination, it turns out to a bar. entering the bar, chris leads you to a room. seeing people, you hide behind chris bc youre antisocial as fuck

“y/n, this is aeyeong. ayeong meet-” “y/n. yes i know her name” aeyeong says, looking at you then back to chris, seducing him. “you know y/n, me and chris used to talk.” walking up to you. “and fucked each other” aeyeongs whispers into your ear. feeling chris wrap his hands around yours, you push him away and left the room.

“this happened a long time ago-” feeling tense, chris was about to turn and find you til aeyeong grabbed his wrist. “i thought you said we would last forever hm? took you long enough to find her. even of all our messages.” aeyeong grabs her phone and pulls up their naked bodies in photos. sexting.

“enough aeyeong.” chris grabs her phone and throws it onto the floor. running out of the room to look for you, leaving aeyeong to laugh.

-

“mr bang!”

chris turns around and sees his partner running to him. “y-y/n. shes with aeyeongs boss. i just got a call from him-” “shut the fuck up and tell me which room” “room 325.”

chris runs to room 325 and sees you grind on the boss. “y/n” chris growls. not paying attention to chris, you feel aeyeong’s boss grope your ass and suddenly putting a knife towards your neck.

suddenly feeling someone pull you away from the man and unable seeing things, chris and the rest of his members pulls out their weapon.

opening your eyes and see yourself on a yacht, you walk around and find chris. seeing chris talk shit about you to his other partner. “she just really had to run away-”

“im sorry chris” you spoke out. chris turns around and tells his partner to leave for a moment. “this is all your fault. youre the one who left the room and potentially tried to seduce him. do you not know what he couldve done?”

arguing on the boat and heading to the railings, you slip off and fall into the water. panicking, chris falls into the water and saves you. taking you out of the water and goes to lay you down on the bed and stands by your side.

a few minutes later, you wake up with water coming out of your mouth, coughing. chris turns around and goes to you with worried eyes. “y/n, i-im sorry. please dont leave me, i need you” chris softly says and strokes your hair with tears starting to fall down his cheeks.

lifting your weak hands up to caress his cheeks, you pushed him down and began kissing him roughly. regretting as soon as you saw the red in his eyes. “so now you want it?” chris growls and begins to attack you with kisses and hickies. feeling your clothes ripped away from you.

a few weeks later, youre back in korea. chris leaves you for the day, saying he has business to attend to and will call you later. but hours flew by and still didnt have any calls. sighing, you call your best friend, minyeong who yells at you though the speakers after the first ring.

“are you kidding me y/n? you cant just leave me behind at hawaii?!”

“i know i know, ill explain if you come over”

after she hears you say the sentence, she hangs up and runs to your place. opening the door for her, she starts speaking nonsense and you just laughing at her.

“y/n, this is serious. stop laughing and tell me what happened.”

sitting down next to her, you tell her everything. even when you love him back. minyeong at first didnt like what chris did to you and what his job it, but you beg her for you to have happiness atlas. with minyeong wanting you to be the happiest, you two go to the bar.

feeling someones eyes on you, you told minyeong you were going to the restrooms as she continues dancing. almost at the door, someone slams you onto the wall. “y/n, baby. i missed you so much. im sorry-” feeling tears streaming as you remember the past events and pictures. you forced him to let go of you and run back to your place.

he follows you back to your apartment without you noticing and as you take a seat with his loud voice scares you. “baby please” he goes closer to you and tries to kiss you until a voice rang.

“im pretty sure she wants you to leave”

he looks at chris then back to you then slaps you. “you fucking whore. youve been cheating on me when you left me didnt you” shaking your head a no and the tears uncontrollably falling as you try to shield yourself from another slap.

receiving nothing, you look up and see chris holding his wrist to prevent him from hitting you. “if theres someone else who was cheating is you. now leave you fucker” chris whispers in his ears and runs away.

chris looks down and sees your shaking figure. he goes next to you and wraps his arms around you so you can start feel calm. reaching to that point, chris picks you up and lays you on the bed.

slowly kissing you from your lips to your chest. chris begins undressing you til you stop him. unbuttoning his top, you see the semi open wound from his business. grazing your fingers over it as you hear chris slightly whimper.

“chris, im in love with you”

chris smiles widely. “im in love with you too”. you two continue the heavy make out which turns into a passionate sex for you both.

waking up with you on chris’ chest, you feel him showing a smile. he turns to the nightstand and grabs something small but worthy.

“y/n l/n, would you please marry me?”

nodding your head yes a bunch of times, you kiss chris on the lips.

-

heading back to hawaii, youre back into the palace where chris kept you in. waking up from your slumber, you go outside and talk to chris. chris sees you and tells his partner that he’ll be right back.

“hey hey babygirl, what happened? you alright?” chris leaves his seat to go to you as you start feeling shitty. “chris, i dont feel goo-” your eyes are shut closed and almost falls on the hard concrete til chris caught you.

“c-changbin! help!” chris yells out to whoever is out. your lips are slowly turning pale. changbin runs to chris with a blanket to cover your cold body and helps him carry you to the car. changbin speeds to the hospital with chris’ tears falling onto you, holding your hands and kissing the back of it. “please be okay, please please” chris whispers.

changbin parks at the emergency lot and chris grabs your body and puts you on the stretcher as the nurses sees you two. “please save her” the nurses all nodded their head and disappeared into the doors with a chris on the floor, sobbing his heart out, praying for you to be okay.

-

finally hours passed by and chris was left alone as he told changbin to go back to the palace. eyes all red and puffy with his legs shaking, full of anxiety. “mr bang?” the doctors call out chris. he stands up too quickly, making him almost loose his balance but the doctor helps him balance for a few seconds. thanking him, he follows the doctor to your room.

chris runs to your side as he sees your eyes open, with all type of wires attached to you. “y/n baby are you okay?”. nodding yes with a small smile, chris looks at the doctor.

“it looks like miss y/n was 1 month pregnant. and also looks like she wasnt taking care of herself either so mr bang, do y/n a favor and help not only her, but the baby”

you and chris nod your head, understanding as the doctor leaves you two. chris turns into his soft self. “i love you” he giggles. “i love you too chris”. scooting further away from him, you pat on the empty spot on the bed for him. chris smiles widely and goes to lay down next to you. you fall asleep from the warmth of your fiance as he hugs you. “and i love you too baby” he whispers and puts his free hand on your growing stomach. kissing your head and falling asleep next to the love of his life.

END <3

[wychive]

𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨

summary // you found your pile of ‘letters’ to hyunjin that contain thoughts that have never been said and decided to write to him one last time.

pairing(s) // hyunjin x gn!reader, hyunjin x oc, slight minho x reader

genre(s) // angst, letter fic 

warning(s) // mentions of food, themes of being forgotten, vulgar wording, humiliation, overthinking

word count // 2.0k

author's note // happy birthday @noya-sannnn​ !! im sorry this was so late hhh you know how i am irl,, but i hope you enjoy this! i love you so much, jane <3 i apologize for the many grammar mistakes gn. i recommend listening to iu’s ending scene while reading this! btw y/n/n means your nickname.

[10/01/14, 3:55am]

dear jinnie,

hi there! it's y/n <3 i hope you're doing okay - i mean of course you are pfft anyways, just writing this short letter (more like paragraph)  sort of as a venting mechanism? for things i cant tell you about lol  im not so sure how you would call it, since you're so much better at words than i am. basically were like:

hyunjin: ow a brain freeze!

me: haha brain go brrrr

anyways haha yea <3 it's 4am so like,, ill see you at school!

signed,

your loser,

y/n/n

[15/02/14, 12:34am]

yo heartthrob!

im back with this kinda stuff haha it's been a whole? week? since ive written one of these so like yes..hi! i just wanted to say thanks, for today. you really know how to cheer me up huh? you really outdid yourself by setting up that little picnic for us. congrats on making the strawberry cake so perfectly <3 this day will always stay as a core memory in the back of my brain. you're too caring sometimes,,, istg you'll pay for this [maybe hugs?] >:) 

signed,

your partner in crime,

y/n/n

[30/02/15, 01:29am]

jinnie-senpai~~

LMAO you hate me calling you that, doesn't change a thing though. hehe,, nways i hope you enjoyed your birthday present :) i got you that really cool skateboard that you wanted. i worked my ass off for that in my mother's garden so like,, you gotta thank me for that a thousand times :D nah jk, its a sincere gift, from me to you. i rarely do this for ANYONE so consider yourself lucky to have a best friend like me -3- also, seungmin is like….kinda the cutest person ever. introduce me to him pls, thank!

signed,

<your bestest friend3,

y/n

(p.s. you're kinda cute too,,,, ig,,, still stinkee tho)

[13/04/15, 9:04pm]

hey 'baby' (HAHAHA ihy for this)

i hope your day was okay! i didn't see much of you today (which was sort of a bummer but wtv) so like…. uh yea. you told me you were doing okay over text, which kinda surprised me because like?? we always video call lol this is kinda the first time,, but its okay, i trust you! (i really hope youre doing alright tho, i'll beat anyone up if they make you sad >:( ) you also called me 'sweetheart' today which was like…. omg wtf haha????????? that was so weird to me for some reason… a good kind of weird :D we haven't done those kinds of nicknames in a while so…. happy to know that they're back in session <3 i talked to the new girl today, she's really cool! like she knows the bean song on tiktok so like its a total win heh, ill introduce you to her tomorrow! you'll love her a lot

signed,

your 'lover',

y/n/n

[08/06/16, 10:23pm]

hey howl (hehe go back to that movie night we had)

this spring break sucks so much,, esp because youre not here (you still couldve brought me along :'[ ) but wtv i hope youre enjoying yourself. ive been hanging out with yeonnie lately and i found out she likes conan grey too like pls i love her sm. can we adopt her?? please???? she told me you guys have been video calling too and that makes me so happy!! you two are getting along so well aaa my precious babies </3 

what if you developed a crush on her? haha…..jk unless?? (no jk dont shes all mine, stay away >:) ) anyways, i hope the three of us hang out soon. maybe go to that ice cream parlour where they serve the best cookies and cream?  

signed,

your daisy,

y/n/n

[19/07/15, 01:23am]

peepee poopoo hello

heyheyhey!! (heh, haikyuu thingz) i hope youre doing okay! i mean sure you are, with everything going so well. also i feel like you're not telling me something. maybe it's just me? is it? i hope it is because you tell me everything,, we've been talking less these days but its okay! i know how busy you are, especially with your dad always bugging you,,

also, i think yeonbin likes you :0,, she keeps talking about you whenever we hang out. don't get me wrong, its not bad that she likes you but...something doesn't feel right. i feel like i'm being the third wheeler here and like ugh idk. haha laughs yea i think its just me.. im sorry, i didnt mean to do you like this,, anyways, ill see you soon + her too ofc- yall are inseparable lmao

signed,

your moonlight,

y/n/n

[23/07/15, 01:56am]

greetings, kind sir

lol more like mean sir but like aight KSKSK,, anyways,, how have you been? we haven't really talked in a while,, our convos are always so short with it being one-sided :/ i wish you were online more. yeonnie is ignoring me,, do you know why? i think you do,,, but when i asked you just said you didnt know. did i do something wrong? pls tell me.. 

she blocked my contact the other day and she won't even smile at me when i pass her in the hallways. its,, sad and stressful especially because she was the only one that would genuinely talk to me. i hate to say this,, but i miss you. us, hanging out like the best trio we are, yknow? but i dont think you miss me the same way. sorry, im getting out of hand. i know im just overreacting. im just gonna sleep ig,, good night! sweet dreams,,

signed,

your pink lemonade,

y/n/n

[25/07/15, 03:25am]

hi there

i heard you and her got together?? congrats, jinnie! im so proud of you,, especially because you never had even considered getting a girlfriend a few months earlier lmaO you really woo the ladies huh? anyways,, i hope you've been well since we last talked,, how many days has it been?? i would say nearly a week or so but honestly it feels like a hundred years,, considering you and i used to talk every day. but you have her now to keep you company.

keep this a secret but can you possibly tell me why it hurts when i see her? or when i mention her or even think of her?? is it because she's connected to you? but.. you're my best friend, so why? is it because i miss you? is it because im alone now? is it because you left me with a simple 'i have to go now,, bye y/n/n.'? im not sure either. im being silly, i apologize. ill figure it out sooner or later. sweet dreams, jinnie

signed,

your asswipe,

y/n

[25/07/15, 04:30am]

jinnie

it's because i love you. 

signed,

your butterfly,

y/n

[??/08/??, 05:??am]

you

i miss your lame jokes. i miss your smile. i miss your laughs. i miss your funny faces. i miss the way your eyes twinkle. i miss th way you would make me happy just by doing the bare minimum. i miss the disaster you made when cooking breakfast. i miss the night when you snuck me out just to go to that pretty lantern event. i miss when you would call out my name everytime we met. i miss when we would share earbuds in train rides. dont you get it, hyunjin? i miss you.

[??/??/15, ??:??am]

asshole.

please tell me that isn't true, please. you're too kind to do these kinds of things, right? + i was your best friend,, then, why, why did you hurt me like this. i didnt do anything wrong.. you couldve just told me you didnt like me,,, why did she have to tell me? out of all people. 

youre so pathetic for this,, i thought you were brave, bold - but youre just a fucking coward. i loved you, i really did. and i realised too late… im sorry. she,, i shouldn't have talked to her in the first place, right? i bet you knew she humiliated me, in front of everyone. of course you did, you were the only one that knew. you told her. fuck, i hate you so much (yet why do i long for you on a night like this?). you know how much that'll affect me and yet, there you are, laughing about it with her.

signed,

fuck off,

you know who i am.

[31/08/15, 03:41am]

ah, jinnie

please tell me this is just a nightmare. please, please. stop just reading my texts, please answer them. jinnie. i miss you so much. i dont care bout her, please just let me be in your arms. i dont care if you love me back, please just talk to me at least. tell me what i did wrong,, jinnie,, please,,, clear these tear stains on my cheek with kisses.

signed,

your fuck-up,

y/n

[15/09/15, 04:59am]

jinnie

why do i keep crying because of you? its been a few weeks since everything has happened. please, nothing has changed. i still love you the same even with all the hatred i have pent up in this stupid brain of mine. i wish i could just walk back in time, to where it all began.

when i first met you in third grade and you pushed me while playing soccer or maybe when we took those ridiculous prom pictures, remember those? i hope you still have them,, because i do too. i hope the pictures of us on your wall still hang there,, it'll remind you of the happy times. hm,, maybe you don't need them. 

you already have millions of pictures with you and her,, i bet you printed some and replaced those with ours right? sly dog. 

signed,

friend,

y/n/n

[04/02/16, 12:57am]

hey

i went to the park today and saw both of you being happy. it's nice to see your smile again. im sorry i didnt go up to you,, i just thought it would be awkward. when i heard that adorable laugh of yours, it made me realise that i lost something special. but it's okay isnt it? as your happiness matters more than mine. 

signed,

y/n

[06/01/20, 08:00pm]

dear hyunjin,

im doing fine here. how about you? gosh,, how long has it been? years? since we last talked to each other. i havent heard from you since. i would just like to say i still think of you sometimes, when watering the plants or dancing while making pancakes. sometimes i think you're here with me too, just being the pals we were. 

sometimes i'd see you out, just reading a book in the park or buying pasta sauce at the grocery store. it's nice to see you having a stable life. im not sure if you're still with her or not, but its good to know that you still have that large friend group. also! you're never gonna guess who im dating--

it's minho! do you remember him? the one that i used to hate,, uh yeah. he asked me out the other day- you may wonder how tf,,, i too do not know how tf but he gives the best hugs ever. he gave me the love i wanted from you. he stitched my heart back together after it broke,, i love him so much, jinnie..

it's snowing,, do you remember when we would skate on the frozen lake in front of your house? are your parents well? i wonder if your mother still has those earrings i bought for her birthday. i never told you this but your laugh and hers sound so similar. 

i would just like to say thank you, for everything. you were a big part of my life, up until now. when we see each other after this, we would just be strangers. maybe flash a little smile or give a little wave whenever we greet each other but nothing more. some memories of us would flow in every now and then but it'll just be a short teaser. well, i'll be going now. smile for me, okay?

signed,

the one that loved you the most,

y/n.

taglist // @/noya-sannnn, @crvgio​ , @neo-shitty​

reply to be in my gen taglist!

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[labetalol]

paradise kiss... i enjoyed it a lot!! thoughts:

-right off the bad i did not like george. i understand he is so passionate about his work and of course will always choose that way of life over love. i understand that yukari has never had the sort of passion and drive and commitment, because she never was handed the opportunity to do so. she grew to be that way, just as he grew to be boisterous and outgoing and energetic- he had a rich dad, fun friends, a carefree mom. but he made it his mission to blame every problem the two had in their relationship on her- her unwillingness to be great, her complaining, her parents, everything was always on her. just as, she demanded him to be the ideal boyfriend, who calls first and doesn’t flake on dinner plans, but he is anything but a normal boyfriend- hes a lover. he’ll sleep with you make you feel like royalty and then ghost you for weeks until he wants to suck out inspiration from your collarbone. like, how yukari was his muse, he treated her as such. she wasn’t someone to be with long-term. he helped her grow as a person, but that’s all he couldve done. honestly, im not sure how he grew as a person. yukari gained a sense of individualism and passion, whereas george, i guess he was influenced so much by someone that he continued to keep them in mind for the rest of his career. id love to hear anyones thoughts on him, i honestly think he just acted as a catalyst to yukari’s own development, although he didn’t mature at all or get anything out of their relationship except newfound inspiration

-i love isabelle and her little plotline. although i dont like george, she remained wholly devoted to him because he alone made her truly feel listened to as a woman, giving her strength to come out. i love that, and the ending where them two sail off to paris so she can work for him, i mean, although george is weird, their relationship was good as friends, so i think it works out!

-akashi... he was weird. i didn’t like his overuse of british slang LOL but ok seriously it hinted how he sexually abused miwako, which worried me... i lvoe miwako and i don’t like the idea that she only can hold onto him if she offers her body. she did that a lot throughout the anime, to which he normally declined- i mean, they obviously love each other, but his temper flares up erratically and can result in him hurting miwako. when he broke her phone because she texted hiro and she had to lie to yukari saying she dropped it- it oculdve been he hit her and she had to lie saying she fell down the stairs. but obviously.. he grew and they married and had kids and miwako was happy. he learned to accept miwakos love for her childhood crush and that people are bits and pieces of others they were close to and thats FINE. she still loves him and chose him, so... his development was good, i just don’t like him in the beginning. i just hope he grew to really understand the harm he caused to miwako and apologized!

-i am so glad yukari got with hiro. the two were the same, having no aim in life, no motivations, no fire igniting their lives, but then came a love that changed who they were drastically inside. yukari gained a willingness to be great by dating george, hiro gained a willingness to help others/interest in psych by loving miwako. the two accept that they loved others before they found each other, and they talk about it chalantly, but they still look very happy. i love their relationship, ebcause hiro noticed how toxic yukair and george’s relationship was, but rather than trying to snatch her away or steal her or whatever (like what he couldve done with miwako but didnt), he let her live her life and come to terms with what she eneded to on her own. i think thats why hes better than george, because he doesnt impose so much on her. but i am sooo biased because right off the bat i thought hiro was ADORABLE and george was ugly as fuck. his ugly little cowboy hat and toxic tendencies. hiro <3 ok.

-overall i thought the story was great. nana-esque, it presented flawed characters, presented flawed relationships between them, and how they grew and overcame themselves- note, not overcame the flaws. those flaws are there but they learned to not let it bother them anymore. i love how yazawa writes stories because it is so humanly realistic. i recommend paradise kiss, only 48 chapters, it took me less than a week to finish it up in between classes and breaks!! thank you if you read this far <3

[selfcareparker]

LMAOO I WAS GONNA BRING UP FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLIDER BUT I WASNT SURE IF YOU WERE WATCHING IT HSKAJ (are you liking it? i know it’s only the first episode but ya know, another one tomorrow night- well tomorrow night for me, and did you like wandavision?? i loved it!!)

oh my goodness i’m watching lion king while writing this and i haven’t seen it in a while and i am..... emotional. but anyway, i love that streaming services think that imma pay for them while they charge $50 a month. like yes of course i have that kind of money and i am going to give it to you to watch tv 🙄 that $50 is budgeted to sims thank you. (ALSO SIMS!!! i’ll get to that in a minute) now see if i don’t google levidia right this minute LMAOO, not that i’m gonna use it.. just for the research...

AND HDKSHS SEND THAT CHAOS WALKING LINK LMAO i saw it for the third time with a different one of my friends and she wasn’t the best one to see it with? she literally was on her fucking phone and i was like ok whatever her loss not mine, and idk if you’ve read the books or if you’ve seen it by now, but by the end of the whole movie, after they’ve confirmed THE THING throughout the whole movie she asked the dumbest question and i’m like diD YOU NOT WATCH THE MOVIE, and i guess she didn’t. so. this sounds so vague but i don’t wanna spoil the movie for you just in case lol.

THE STORY LMAOO, so A DIFFERENT FRIEND LOL, like my oldest bff, we had a day together and we wanted to go see chaos walking. and i honest to God thought that no one would be seeing this movie. like NO ONE. every day, i checked the theater seating and no one was there right? plus i really wanted us to have the theater to ourselves. so we sit in the wrong seats, the row in front of us, STILL THINKING WE’RE ALONE. and then these 3 older people came in AND IM ABOUT TO SCREAM FHSJSH AND IM LIKE “are we in your seats?” and they we were like uh yeah, AND IT WAS SO BAD LMAOO , we’re moving and everything would’ve been FINE but my friend’s reclined seat was going down so slow and as it’s going shes LITERALLY SAYING ALOUD “awkward awkward awkward” so she thinks forget it, lemme just get up. HER BAG GETS CAUGHT ON HER CHAIR AND HER FRIES AND THEY SPILL ALONG WITH HER HONEY MUSTARD 😭😭 ALL OVER THE FLOOR! so i’m trying not to laugh lmao but those aren’t even our seats and we just made a mess, so naturally, i get on the floor and start cleaning it up with my napkins (this is going for too long) AND MY FRIEND IS STILL SAYING “awkward awkward awkward awkward” and i’m really abt to crack up bECAUSE LIKE SHUT UP HAHAHA and we’re cleaning it and shit and the oldest lady is gonna say “yeah you’re not gonna make an old lady get on the floor, are you?” AND I WANTED TO LAUGH AND SCREAM AT THE SAME TIME BC DID WE ASK YOU TO, NO, so then i had to get the manager and she helped us clean it, we got new fries and everything was fine, it’s just a crazy story bc LITERALLY WE COULDVE AVOIDED IT AND EVERYTHING BUT THESE ELDERLY PEOPLE HAD TO COME AND SEE THIS MOVIE😭😭 at least the gentlemen was nice.. he helped us clean. but then his wife was like “i aM nOt siTTiNg tHeRe” and at first i thought she was a teenager bc of her stink attitude but her husband was nice. and it’s not like we weren’t cleaning it up, we were!!! like i was so apologetic- anyway.

about sims! do you play console or pc? wait,, you already told me you play pc bc your computer was broken, i’m glad you can play now though :’)) litetally when i read in the tags that you’re playing sims !!!! and are you hyped for bunk beds? i have cc so i’ve had them for a bit, but they were glitchy... but i’m so excited we have them now! i should really play sims today...

GURL IM SO PROUD OF YOU 🥺🥲 i know you aren’t fluent in everything and you aren’t a linguistic genius LMAO but it’s still soooo amazing :’) here i am reading the captions while ur just going hahah, yea i tried duolingo but.... i didn’t stick to it HDJSH talking to you though makes me so interested because you know all these languages, not even studying them like that, but you have this foundation and ahh it’s just super cool. LOL YOU DONT SOUND LAME HAJA IM TELLING YOU ITS SO SO COOL, i’m loving this lesson btw oh my goodness- HSKAJS YOU THOUGHT I WOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT??? HDYSJHS MY ONLY ENGLISH SPEAKING ASS??? HAHAHAHHAH i find that word (Rindfleischetikettie- i’m not gonna write the whole thing i’m sorry) very interesting... like... wow. did you have to google that or did you just know lmao

OKAH THE WATER THING HDKDJDKS UR GONNA TERRIFY ME HAHAH OH MY LORD- first of all CROATIA 😍😍 but thinking about it like that, I WOULD FREAK OUT TOO HAHSGSG i never go that deep into the water, or if i do i have my dad with me lol and i kind of hold onto him bc ive seen/heard too many things about people being dragged into the sea. but i loveee the water (i wanted to be a mermaid soooo bad ohmigosh)

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW ONE CANNOT LIKE MUSIC ITS AWFUL !! lmao yeah i haven’t even listened to harry’s his first album, everyone says they love it more. I WAS GONNA SAY IMMA LISTEN TO ONLY ANGEL BUT THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE IT HUHAHAH also i have never listened to anything by mgk (i actually had to google who he was IM SORRY😔) i’m tempted to listen tho lol PLEASE JUSTIN BIEBER- I PROMISE IM NOT LAUGHING AT U IVE JUSY NEVER HAD SOMEONE SAY THAT B4!! like i don’t know many people who’ve liked him bUT NOW IM GONNA LISTEN & the cardboard cutout- okay. 😭😭😭

oh my goodness to see the vamps live 🤧 TO SEE ANYONE LIVE PLEASE JJDGSHAHGD and little mix is so good oh my goodness- i actually haven’t been to that many concerts.. i was at my first one, elsie fest (it’s like a broadway thing really) in uhhh october of 2019, yea i took my mom for her birthday bc she loves darren criss and i’m obsessed with glee lmao OH MY GOODNESS YOUVE BEEN TO SO MANY!!! and those are such great artists 😩😩

LMAO UR FINE, hamilton is a musical that lin manuel miranda wrote and i think generally made? i’m obsessed, but basically it was on broadway and then recorded and put on disney+ ... idk i guess it counts a film bc it’s like a movie really cuz it was recorded but in what 2018 or 2016? i don’t remembers the date that is on disney+ but it’s strange how i got into it, a lot of my friends were obsessed and i was like uhh why? and while researching it and watching it, trying to figure out why people love it... i fell in love with it LMAO but the music is FANTASTIC and lin is incredible😭 but yes yes yes i loveeeee high school musical!! my dad actually took my cousins to see it on ice or something (i absolutely forget lmao) but i don’t know how people don’t know hsm. it upsets me.

OKAY IM DOWN TO THE BOTTOM HAHAHA (it takes me so long to respond, now i’m on lion king 2 WHICH IS SO GOOD PLEASE FHHSSHHSHSH) i could respond in chunks but i kind of enjoy responding like this? it feels a bit like a letter but if this whole thing is overwhelming i’ll cut it up lol

+ yes that was me about your fic and sleep and everything lol but it was so good😭 i don’t understand how you write peter so well like you have this ability to capture his.. everything? i’m crine. all the time. over your fics. & i cannot describe my happiness for youuuu :’) i’m so happy you’re writing again 🥺🥰 the thing about how you only want to write the long peter fic but you don’t know how to continue... i feel that so so so hard, i don’t think i told you but ughh i was so blah bc of that feeling of having pent up inspiration for only one fucking thing and not being able to write it. it’s so frustrating 😭

not to add more to this but i need to vent a bit? the situation is definitely different bc with your major it obviously requires for you to ya know, know english lol, but uhm bc i’m homeschooled ive been cheating on all my work SHSHDHSJ like i google the answers but i’m still learning! it’s just..... i find it so unnecessary, like going for an audition no one is gonna say to me “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” like tf??? there’s literally no point. i’m gonna be getting into voice lessons again soon and i’m already doing dance, AND i’ll be doing this summer camp program (more hamilton lol) and thinking about school is only making me stress more, like i haven’t been able to rehearse dance at all this week bc of it...... so

hahaha reading your tags, lonely anon would still be accurate HAHAHHAHA // another add: yea i love ur current theme, i’ve gotten used to “seeing you” like this, but anything will look super pretty :)) ALSO HOW IS IT STILL SNOWING THERE, i swear it’s getting warmer and warmer by the day here 😭🤧

these long ass posts, my gosh🥲 lonely lovely anon <3

Omg yes it does feel like a letter sldkdj and then the few days of waiting also make more sense okay i love this ❣️💕❤️💓❤️💞🧡💜💘(wtf)sksjhz

Dear lovely anon,

ALSKSJVKD yes i‘m liking falcon and winter soldier dlkdh i haven‘t watched the second episode yet but i‘ll watch it tomorrow! but i didn‘t watch wandavision........ eidislskks i was going to but idk i wasn‘t that interested in it and watching series is already too much of a commitment (what can i say i‘m a Sagittarius—🤧 (no i’m joking i actually know NOTHING about starsigns)) didjj that i couldn‘t force myself to watch it, ALSO i hate (idk if this is an unpopular opinion) when every episode is like a whole hour. i‘m rewatching an old series today (it‘s german so i won‘t even get into it) and the episodes are 25 mins each and i‘ve already watched 8 episodes today ridlndjdjd,,, and i feel like if the episodes were an hour each i wouldn‘t have gotten past episode 2 today like idk.... even if series had the same length in total, i prefer when the individual episodes are shorter idk why tho tbh (so yeah i already wasn‘t 100% convinced about watching wandavision so i just couldn’t make myself watch a bunch of 1hour episodes— i‘ve heard that it‘s good tho- but i‘m not much of a series person so. Dldkk (have we talked about this already??? sorry i don‘t remember what i said lol and i couldn‘t find my own post anymore so dkdjsh) (WAIT I JUST CHECKED THE WANDAVISION EPIOSRDES ARENT EVEN THAT LONG??? Okay wait i might watch it now - did you like it? let me know if i should watch it— why did i think they were 60minutes???)

okay another confession i‘ve never watched the lion king????? i mean i watched it when i was a child but i was too young to actually pay attention to any kind of plot i just liked the songs lol sldkdj i‘ve been meaning to watch it for years tho 🦁 (idk it just felt appropriate to put a lion emoji lmoaoo)

OH MY GOD THE CHAIS WALKING/CINEMA STORY AHSJSKKS😭😭😭😭 NOOOOO (very fitting that there was so much chaos when you were watching a film that has chaos in the title loool) and the “awkward awkward awkward“ SAME SKSKSLSKDJ, that‘s literally me 24/7 ahajshshhshshsh. Like i was so skdjdjdkdllsldksnsnsnsb while i read what you sent me djslslsjdjdbdn why are old ladies always so grumpy btw 🥲🥲🥲 at least the man was nice tho! and wait did i read that right... you have fries (which, to me, are called chips dusuusldk) at your cinemas?? (Movie theatres sorry sksjsh) we just have popcorn and nachos and drinks i want chips too when i‘m watching a film what😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺

Also i still haven’t watched it so thanks for not spoiling it!!! (idk when i’ll watch it i’m so bad with films and even worse with series💀💀💀- same with cherry. i literally forgot all about cherry, i was SO hyped when the trailer came out like i’ve never been so excited about a movie... and then it came out... and i still haven‘t watch it like what‘s wrong with me???? Dkdjdjdjdklsl i feel like i‘m not gonna watch it anytime soon tbh, but i wanna watch chaos walking i just have to find the time

Okay and @ your other friend who wasn‘t paying attention like why are you even watching the film then???? but ok (omg this sounds so mean i‘m sure she‘s very nice but in this situation just like❔❔❔)

SIMS ahhh, BUNK BEDS, ahhhh sdljdjdjdkdkdldksj i actually haven‘t played it since the update 🤧🤧 i made both of my sims (enisa (bestselling author already, thank you) and michael (aspiring doctor)) go to university and bro it takes so long 😭😭 and you can‘t do anything else if you want them to do well so literally the last three times i played sims i was just constantly clicking their homework and computerd to write their assignments (i play it in german so idk what its called on the sims) and do their presentations and do them all over again so that they get better or whatever for HOURS, but imma play again soon

also i‘m living my fanfiction life loool, so i made my two sims neighbours (on the same plot tho but i made two small separate houses lol, i still wanted to control both of them at the same time but i made sure they didn‘t interact before i wanted them to skdjdjdk). and first they both experimented and got some experience in the love department you know (all genders, cause i have to live my sexuality even in a pc game slskdjh— wait, i‘ve never lived my sexuality irl like i‘ve done NOTHING nothing with guys nothing with girls (🥲) but maybe that’s why i want to do it even more in the sims) and then they met at uni and realised like hey we‘re neighbours and now they‘re together (but michael accidentally had an alien baby with another woman (who was an alien which i was not aware of) cause i wasn‘t paying attention like i said woohoo not try for baby like michael why is your pull out game so weak tf LSHDDHDJDJSKKDKSKDKS okay but making out and flirting and doing all the fun stuff in the sims turns me on way more than it should PFAHAHHAHSH) so idk why i told you this but I’m creating that neighbour!au in the sims lmaoooo

i did not have to google Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsübertragungsaufgabengesetz (just did it again😌 sisjshhs) but i might have mixed up the words überwachung und übertragung or i might have even forgotten a word skskks but in the end it doesn‘t matter (by linkin park- ok i‘m so sorry it‘s 2 am and i have a headache from having waveformers in my hair all day but i still wanted to reply to this now so sorry if i‘m not making any sense right nowbahahshah)

i wanted to be a mermaid too dldjdksksj like h2O and all those series convinced me i could be one like. i remember i‘d always go in the deep pool and attempt to swim like them in all the series with that wave motion i must have looked so crazy with my goggles as well dkdjsksöksj (i was like twelve but still)

so mgk has two sides one is hip hop/rap which is like ~~~~ idk he has good and bad songs, but his latest album is like punk pop snd I LOVE IT SO SO SO SO SO MUCH, so if you like punk pop I’d recommend his album tickets to my downfall (i don‘t blame yoj if you don‘t like it tho like about a year ago i would have HATED that type of music dkdkdkkd)🥴

Okay talking about music, there‘s this german rapper and he is... not a good person. he‘s literally a criminal and extremely sexist but to me he‘s still hot???????? he‘s even cute at times even tho he has tattoos everywhere and is like 6‘5 and is super aggressive but i see him and i‘m like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 my heart beats only for you💘💘💘💘and he released a new song today and i watched the video and i‘m wondering wtf is wrong with me 😃 (he did look particularly cute cause he was high so idk he wasn’t really aggressive in this one) 😭 so i thought i‘d share that LMAO IDK

(not saying tattoos aren‘t cute btw i LOVE tattoos imma get some soon, but you know he looks like someone your grandma would be afraid of (and in his case rightfully so💀)

okay wait i‘m getting so tired it‘s 2 am i think i‘ll have to do the rest tomorrow but i wanted to do it now😭🥺🥺 see you tomorrow

it is now 3:42 am and i couldn‘t sleep so here we go again

girl you can laugh at me for liking justin tho skskks i wanna laugh at myself idk, like i said i really really really liked him a few years go, basically my life was at least 50% justin and then he went on a break for a while and released an album last year which i hated 🥴 but this album is wow. (Still weird to me because it‘s literally the definition of pop and i don‘t ever listen to pop?) and it‘s so weird because i used to know so much about justin and had so many friends who loved him as well and now it‘s like I’m listening to someone new? Don‘t get me wrong i never KNEW justin and i never will and i‘m aware of that shahsh but yeah i used to be soooo used to him and it‘s like reconnecting with an old friend and you realise you don‘t know that friend anymore- like you don‘t know them anymore at all. I mean justin is weird nowadays 😂😂😂 so pls laugh at me tbh dskksjsjsh

awww it‘s so wholesome that you gave your mom tickets to the concert 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i gave my mum tickets for pink like 2 years ago and she loved it so much and i was like 🥰🥰🥰 (i went with her) AND OMG GLEE ok so unfortunately i barely remember glee, but i used to watch it too!!!! And it‘s actually on my list of series i wanna watch (again) so youre making me want to watch it even more (but like i said i‘m bad with series so 😩😩😩 who knows when i‘ll rewatch it)

When all this pandemic shit is over (let‘s be hopeful <3333) then you need to go to as many concerts as possible!!!!! i‘ve been to SO MANY and it‘s literally one of the things in my life i‘m the most grateful for, concerts are some of the best experiences i‘ve ever had in my life especially the ones that are in smaller concert halls where you can feeeel the vibe and everyone‘s energy (and that sounds awful thinking about it mid-pandemic 😐) anyway—

Okay omg you‘re absolutely making me want to watch hamilton right now like omg i WANT TO WATCH IT NOW but it‘s 4 am sodndkdldl

what you said about my peter fics🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺like omg i love these emojis they literally just describe how i felt when reading what you said so, yes, 🥰🥺 + thank you :) it really means a lot <3

and no omg i totally get the studying thing. like last year before i graduated .. was that last year? yes wtf omg okaykdjdj, so the last three months before i had my final exams we were just in a lockdown and we didn‘t even have online classes. We had nothing except one teacher who left our group chat (😭) because she was mad at us (?) and one maths teacher who did an online ““lesson““ once a week. he‘d ask: so does anyone have questions. us: . Him: okay, bye then. So. Yeah dndldldj. But we had one online test and it was in german and like i read the book wee were supposed to read? but the questions on the test were all unanswerable (is that a word?) and i had to google everything (got an A tho 🤪 but only because i googled everything so i was so scared that i wouldn‘t be able to get a good result on the final exam because what if i‘d gotten used to just googling everything and i couldn‘t do it by myself anymore? anyway it was all fine in the end but yeah at times i couldn‘t even study because i had so much anxiety about studying and yeah- like this whole annoying cycle. but you said you‘re still studying———- okay wait 👁👄👁 i forgot what i was going to say??????????????????????????????????????????????????? Like wtf. Is wrong with me? And i‘m reading what you wrote again and i just don‘t know what i was going to say? Like i get what you‘re saying obviously but i‘m like? Idk 4am brain ayeee, please vent more if you need to and elaborate further because right now i‘m???? Too dumb to respond to this right now wtf. I‘m so sorry lmao ddlkdjdjd what is even going on like i‘m sitting here open mouthed just like ? But btw the fact that you have Voice and dance lessons is like SO FUCKING COOL like oh my god that is sosososos cool wtf, i was thinking that when you first talked about it too

And “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” ODHDKSLDBDJDOFIDKDNDLDK

Yes i know about the weather dkdkdkjd but it‘s getting (a lot) warmer here too and where i live we kind of get a weird type of wind called föhn (which literally means hair dryer but idk if that‘d the reason why it‘s called that, i‘m too tired to think of whether it makes sense rn) and it gives me headachesssssss and the changing weather is also giving me headaches 😭😭😭😭 so this season right now is just headache season and i hate summer so i wish it would just snow again lmao (okay it‘s getting so late that it‘s early already snd i can hear this bird chirping so fucking loud wtf i‘m also getting a headache 🤧🤧🤧) but at least i can do my new theme soon (i hope it‘ll look good🥺 and omg thank you for what you said about my current theme- i always feel like i‘m so bad with aesthetics, i obviously like my theme but i feel like every single person on tumblr has a theme that is prettier than mine so it was very nice to hear you say that you love it👉🏼👈🏼 (i‘m so used to it by now that i actually hate it lmao so it‘s getting yeeted soon and i‘m making megan thee stallion my pfp 🤪 (if the graphics and shit works out skdjdjdj)