#this took me like 12 hours to put together so how is your quarantine going??

[yarrowleef]

Big List of Cat Names

There’s lots of reference lists out there but none of them are exactly what I want so I made this for personal reference, and you can all look at it also if you want. Here is EVERY prefix and suffix EVER used in canon (with exception of half-kittypet names) as well as some extra ones, courtesy of the warriors wiki and Ailuronymy’s lists, plus whatever else I could find. Prefix list is organized by potential color usage. Note, some more colorful plants take a bit of artistic license in deciding their closest cat-color equivalent. In general blue/purple flowers = gray, red/magenta = ginger, pale pink/yellow = cream. Some prefixes are repeated if they can be interpreted as more than one color, or if different parts of the thing can be different colors (e.g white holly flowers, and red holly berries).  Clarifications and lesser known plants/animals have a short definition in parenthesis to avoid you having to google too much, you’re welcome (I joke, it’s mainly for me, I keep getting poplars and plovers mixed up)

Flora and fauna isn’t based on a super specific place. So far as we can tell, Warriors takes place in a fictional area resembling a combo of the USA and the UK. I favored England wildlife when making the list, but I’m assuming anything that can be found (or was previously found before dying out unnaturally, and thus plausibly could exist in such an area again, such as with wolves) in or around the UK and the east coast-ish area of the USA to be fair game. List may be updated over time, feel free to send in your own suggestions to add.

* = means this prefix has never been used in canon (by modern warriors, excluding tribe ancients)

Edit: Suffix list can be found here!

Prefix Categories

Black

Brown

Gray

Ginger/Red

Golden/Cream

White

Tortoiseshell

Nonspecific Color

Physical Aspect/Pattern

Injury Specific

Other

PREFIX LIST

 (specified if best applicable only to certain shades/patterns)

BLACK

Ant

*Avocet - (a black and white bird) bicolor 

Badger - bicolor

*Bat 

Bay - (refers to the black berries of the bay laurel)

Beetle 

Black 

*Cormorant - (refers to the great cormorant, a black waterbird)

Cricket

Crow 

Dark 

*Dipper - (a black and dark brown songbird with a white throat)

Fly 

*Grackle - (a blue-black corvid)

*Grouse - (refers to the male black grouse)

Ivy - (refers to the dark berries)

*Jackdaw - (a black corvid)

*Loon - (refers to several species of aquatic bird, also called divers) bicolor

*Magpie - bicolor

Mole 

Myrtle - (a shrub, refers to the dark purplish-black berries)

Night 

*Privet - (a shrub, refers to the black berries)

Rat 

Raven 

Rook - (a black corvid with a pale beak)

Sedge 

Shade 

Shadow

Sheep 

Sloe  

Soot 

Spider 

Starling 

Stork - (white stork or wood stork) mostly white bicolor

Swallow - (a small bird with a distinctive forked tail) bicolor

Swift - (refers to the common swift, a dark brownish-black and white bird) ideally white chest

*Tadpole

BROWN 

Acorn

Adder

Alder - reddish brown

Ant 

*Argus - (a dark brown butterfly with orange flecks)

Bark

*Barley

*Bat 

*Beaver

Bee - light tan/golden brown w/ distinctive stripes

Beech 

Beetle 

*Bittern - (a brown striped bird)

Boulder 

Bracken

Bramble 

*Brambling - (a small brown finch with black, white and reddish markings) reddish brown or brown tabby

Briar 

Brindle - tabby or brindled markings

Brown 

Buzzard 

*Carp

Cedar 

Chestnut 

*Cockroach

Cricket

*Cuckoo - (common cuckoo is blue-gray or gray-brown bird with a white belly) gray-brown tabby

*Curlew - (large wading bird) mottled or brindled markings

Cypress - (refers to the tree’s bark) reddish brown

Dark 

Deer 

*Dipper - (a black and dark brown songbird with a white throat) very dark brown

Doe

Dove - (refers to the collared dove) pale gray-brown, ticked or faint markings

Duck 

*Dunnock - (a small songbird)

Dusk 

Dust 

Eagle - (refers to the golden eagle)

Eel - (refers to European freshwater eel, a dark gray-brown fish with a lighter belly)

Elder 

Elm 

Fallow - (could refer to the fallow deer [a light brown deer with white spots], the barren land, or the color) light brown, ideally with white markings if refers to the deer

Fawn - (refers to the color) light brown, “fawn” colored

Ferret - (also known as the polecat) ideally a seal point, or creamy brown with dark markings

Flax - (refers to the seeds or flower bud) golden brown

Frog - spotted or mottled

*Gadwall - (a small gray-brown duck)

Goose - (refers to the Canada goose) gray-brown

*Grouse - (could refer to either the red or black grouse) reddish brown / or brown tabby

*Gudgeon - (a small brown freshwater fish with dark spots) spotted or mottled tabby with a light stomach

Hare 

*Harrier - (a bird of prey, could refer to montagu harrier, hen harrier, or marsh harrier) any shade of brown depending on local species

Hazel 

Hay - light brown or golden brown

Hickory

Honey - light golden brown

Hop - (refers to the tree bark) mottled gray-brown

*Hornet - light tan/golden brown w/ distinctive stripes

Ivy - (refers to the dark brown stems)

Jay - (refers to the Eurasian jay)

Kestrel - (common kestrel) mottled dark markings

Kite - (refers to the red kite, a bird of prey) reddish brown tabby

*Lamprey - (long, brown and white parasitic fish) ideally white or pale belly

Larch - (refers to the trees golden needles in autumn) light golden brown 

Lark 

Lichen - pale gray-brown or light tan/golden-brown tabby

*Linnet - (a small finch) brown or gray-brown

Lizard - (refers to the common lizard, a primarily golden-brown lizard with spots) mottled or spotted cat

*Loach - (refers to the stone loach, brown and black mottled fish) spotted or mottled

Log

*Loon - (refers to several species of aquatic bird, also called divers) gray-brown bicolor

Marsh

*Marten - (pine marten, a roughly cat sized weasel-like carnivorous mammal) dark brown or reddish brown, solid or faint markings, ideally white chest/throat

Midge - (a small brown fly that lives in wet areas)

*Mink - (a dark brown weasel-like carnivorous mammal, slightly smaller than a pine marten) dark brown, solid or faint markings

Minnow - (could refer to multiple species, but they are usually brown or silver)

*Mosquito

Moth

Mouse

Mud 

*Muntjac - (a small deer, reddish brown in the warm months, gray brown in the cold) 

*Nerite - (A striped water snail) distinctive spots or stripes

Newt - (refers to the warty newt or palmate newt) dark brown, spotted

*Nightingale - (a light brown bird)

Nut

Oak 

Oat 

*Oriole - (refers to golden oriole) light tan/golden brown w/ black markings

*Osprey - gray-brown bicolor

Otter 

Owl - (could refer to the long-eared, short-eared, tawny, or barn owl) brown spotted or tabby

*Partridge - (a ground dwelling bird, refers to gray partridge or red-legged partridge) gray brown, possibly with reddish brown patches, with distinct markings

Pebble 

Perch - (refers to the European perch, a greenish-brown fish with black stripes) golden-brown, distinctive tabby stripes

*Pheasant

Pine - (refers to the bark) gray-brown

*Pipit - (small brown speckled songbird) distinctive markings

Pike - (large fish with pale speckles or stripes) mottled gray-brown

*Pitch - dark reddish brown [note the natural substance is not black]

*Plover - (a small coastal bird) gray-brown bicolor

Puddle

Quail 

Rabbit 

*Rail - (small brown and gray waterbird)

Rat 

Reed 

*Resin - reddish brown

Robin 

Rock 

Root

*Rudd - (a silver and brown fish with reddish fins) mostly gray-brown

*Ruddy - (color) reddish brown

Rush - (a plant with yellow or brown flowers) light golden brown

Rye - light or golden brown

Sand - light or pale brown, faint markings

Sedge 

Shell 

Shrew 

*Shrike - (a small carnivorous bird that skewers mice on thorns, also known as the butcherbird. not relevant to colors just wanted you to know, it’s metal as hell google it) pale gray-brown with dark distinctive markings, bicolor

*Slug

Snail - (refers to the common garden snail)

Snake - (refers to the grass snake/water snake) light brown, ticked or mottled tabby

Sparrow 

Spider - mottled or brindled

Stag

Stoat - reddish brown, ideally bicolor or pale belly

Stone 

Swamp

Swift - (refers to the common swift, a dark brown bird with a white throat) dark brown, ideally white chest

*Tadpole - dark brown

Tawny - tan/light golden brown

*Teasel - (a flower similar to a thistle, refers to the light brown flower head)

Tiger 

Timber

Thrush - light brown and gray-brown, preferably spotted

Toad - (refers to the common toad) brown spotted or mottled

Trout - (refers to the brown trout) light brown spotted tabby 

Turtle

*Twite - (a stocky finch with brown streaks)

*Umber - (color)

Vole 

Wasp -  light tan/golden brown w/ distinctive stripes

Weasel - (refers to the least weasel) reddish brown or golden brown, ideally white belly/chest

*Weevil - (a dark beetle with a long snout-like head) very dark brown

*Whimbrel - (mottled brown wading bird)

*Whinchat - (a small brown songbird with a pale orange chest)

Wood

Wren

GRAY

Ash 

Aspen 

*Aster - (a purple flower)

Bark

Beech

*Betony - (an herb with reddish-purple flowers)

Birch 

*Bleak - (a silver fish)

Blizzard 

Blue 

Boulder 

*Bream - (a silver freshwater fish)

*Burdock - (refers to the blue-gray and purple flower heads)

Chive - (refers to the purple flowers)

Cinder 

Cloud(y) - pale gray, ideally bicolor

Creek

*Cuckoo - (common cuckoo is blue-gray or gray-brown bird with a white belly)

*Comfrey - (refers to the white or purplish flowers) 

*Crane - (refers to the common crane, a tall gray bird with a black and white head) dark markings

Cricket

*Dace - (dark blue-gray fish with white underside) ideally colorpoint, or white/pale belly

Dark - dark gray

Dawn - pale gray

Dew - pale gray, ideally spotted

Dove - (refers to the collared dove) ticked or faint markings

*Drizzle

Dusk

*Evening - pale solid gray

*Faded - pale solid gray

*Falcon - (refers to the peregrine falcon) spotted or mottled, ideally white belly/chest

*Fir

Flax - (refers to the blue flowers)

Flint

Fly - dark gray

Fog(gy) - pale gray

*Fumitory -  (refers to a plant with semi-translucent pink-purple flowers that darken at the tip, said to resemble rising smoke) ideally colorpoint

*Gadwall - (a small gray-brown duck)

Goose - (refers to the greylag goose)

Gravel

Gray 

Gull - bicolor

Hail 

Heron - (a long legged gray and white waterbird with a black crest) bicolor

Heather - warm gray or lilac

Ivy - (refers to the dark purplish berries) dark gray

Jay - (refers to the blue jay)

Juniper 

*Knot - (refers to a migratory bird with gray and white winter plumage) bicolor

Lake

Lavender 

Lichen

Maggot - very pale gray

Minnow - (could refer to multiple species, but they are usually brown or silver)

Mint 

Mist(y)

Mole 

Moon - very pale gray

Moth 

*Murk(y)

Needle - (assuming it refers to pine needles, it’s treated the same as Pine-)

Nettle - (refers to soft grayish tinge of the stinging nettle’s leaves, and the male plants small purple flowers) plain pale gray

*Orchid - warm gray or lilac

Pale - light pale gray

Pebble 

Pigeon 

Pine - (refers to the bluish colored needles of many pine species)

*Plover - (a small coastal bird) bicolor

Pool

*Poplar - (refers to trunk) light pale or bicolor

Rain 

River

*Roach - (a silvery fish with red fins)

Rock 

*Saffron - (refers to the purple flowers of meadow saffron)

Sage 

*Salmon - (refers to the Atlantic salmon, a silver fish with dark speckles) spotted cat

Shade - dark gray

Shadow - dark gray

Shell 

*Shrike - (a small carnivorous bird) bicolor

Silver 

Sky - solid or faint markings, ideally bicolor

Slate

*Sleet - pale gray, mottled

*Slug - (refers to the common gray field slug) tabby or mottled

Smoke 

Soot - dark gray, mottled or spotted

Squirrel - (refers to the gray squirrel) solid or faint markings

Stone 

Storm 

Swallow - (a small bird with a distinctive forked tail) bicolor

*Sycamore - (a tree with mottled gray and red-brown bark) spotted or mottled

*Teasel - (a flower similar to a thistle, refers to the purple flower)

*Tern - (a gray and white seabirds with a black head) bicolor

Thistle - (a spiky purple flower)

Thrift - (a round pink or purple flower)

Thrush - preferably spotted

*Thyme - (refers to the purple flowers of wild thyme)

Violet - dark gray

*Vervain - (an herb with small, pale purple flowers)

Web - pale gray

Willow 

*Wisteria

Wolf

GINGER/RED

Ant 

Alder - dark ginger

Amber - (color)

Apple 

*Betony - (an herb with reddish-purple flowers)

Blaze

*Burnet - (an herb with dark red flowers) dark ginger

*Campion - (A flower that comes in white, pink, and red)

*Chanterelle - (a bright yellow-orange fungus)

Cherry

*Copper - (color)

Cypress - (refers to the bright red autumn leaves or reddish brown bark) red or dark red

Dawn 

Ember

Fire 

Flame

Flicker

Fox 

*Fritillary - (a kind of butterfly) distinctive tabby markings

*Ginger

*Hawthorn - (refers to the red berries)

Heather 

Holly - (refers to the red berries)

*Hornet - distinctive stripes

Lion 

Maple - (refers to the bright red and orange autumn leaves)

Marigold 

Morning 

Pear - (refers reddish-gold fruit of the wild pear)

Plum - (refers to the cherry plums reddish fruit)

Poppy - (refers to the red flowers) dark ginger

Red 

Rowan - (refers to the vibrant red/orange autumn leaves and/or the bright red berries)

*Ruddy - (color) dark ginger

Russet - dark ginger

*Skipper - (a small orange and brown butterfly)

Sorrel 

Spark

Squirrel - (refers to the red squirrel)

Stoat - ideally bicolor

Sweet - (refers to sweet briar, a small, prickly, vivid pink rose)

Tawny 

Thrift - (a round pink or purple flower)

Tiger 

Tulip

*Valerian - (a herb with white, pale pink, or occasionally red flowers)

Vixen

Wasp - distinctive stripes

*Wisteria

Yarrow - (refers to the pink flowers)

*Yew

GOLDEN/CREAM

Apple 

*Arnica - (a small golden flower, also known as wolf's bane)

*Asphodel - (a white or yellow flower)

Bay - (refers to pale yellowish-white flowers of bay laurel)

Bee - distinctive stripes

Bright

*Broom - (a shrub with small yellow flowers)

*Carp

*Celandine- (an herb with yellow flowers)

*Chamomile - bicolor or colorpoint

*Chanterelle - (a bright yellow-orange fungus)

Clover 

*Daffodil

Daisy - bicolor or colorpoint

Dandelion 

Dawn 

Fennel - (an herb with yellow flowers and feathery leaves)

Flash

Flax - (refers to the seeds or flower bud)

Furze - (another word for gorse, a shrub with yellow flowers)

Gold(en) 

Gorse 

Hay

Honey 

Hop - (refers to the trees pale yellowish flowers)

*Hornet - distinctive stripes

*Laburnum - (a tree with hanging clusters of yellow flowers)

Larch - (refers to the trees golden needles in autumn)

*Laurel - (refers to the pale yellowish-white flowers of the English or cherry laurel) pale golden

Leopard - spotted

Light - light yellow, ideally bicolor

Lightning - light yellow

Lion 

*Lovage- (an herb with small yellow flowers)

Marigold 

Morning 

Nectar

Oat 

Pale - pale or sandy cream

Parsley - (refers to the small pale yellow-ish flowers)

*Parsnip - (a root vegetable with small yellow flowers)

*Poplar - (a tree with bright yellow autumn leaves)

Reed

Rose - (refers to the pale pink flower of the wild or dog rose, not the vibrant human garden variety) 

Rush - (a plant that has pale yellow or brown flowers)

Rye 

Sand(y)

*Sap

Spark

Sun(ny)

Tansy 

Tulip

*Wax - (beeswax)

Wasp 

Yellow

WHITE

*Asphodel - (a white or yellow flower)

Bay - (refers to pale yellowish-white flowers of bay laurel)

Birch

Blizzard

Bright

*Campion - (A flower that comes in white, pink, and red)

*Chamomile

Cherry 

*Chervil - (refers to the small white flowers)

Cloud 

Clover 

*Comfrey - (refers to its white or purplish flowers)

Dandelion 

Daisy 

*Egret - (wetland bird, essentially a white heron)

Flash

*Flurry

Frost 

*Garlic

*Hawthorn - (refers to the white flowers)

*Hemlock - (poisonous herb that produces small white flowers)

Holly 

Ice

*Laurel - (refers to the pale yellowish-white flowers of the English or cherry laurel)

Light 

Lightning 

Lily 

Maggot

Mallow

Meadow - (refers to the white flowers of meadowsweet) 

Milk

*Mistle(toe)

Moon

Myrtle - (refers to the white flower of the shrub)

*Parsnip - (refers to the white root)

Pale 

Pear - (refers to the wild pears white flowers)

Plum - (refers to the cherry plums white flowers)

*Privet - (a shrub, refers to the white flowers)

Shell 

Sheep 

*Shine(ing)

Sloe - (refers to the flowers)

Snow

Stoat - (refers to its white winter coat, which only occurs in particularly harsh winters)

Stork - (white stork or wood stork) mostly white with some black or dark gray

Swan 

Tulip

*Valerian - (a herb with white, pale pink, or occasionally red flowers)

White 

*Wisteria 

Yarrow - (refers to the white flowers

TORTOISESHELLS (not differentiating between torties and calicos for simplicity's sake, “dilute tortie” means it could apply to gray, lilac, or fawn torties)

*Argus - (a dark brown butterfly with orange flecks) torbie or chocolate tortie/torbie

Bee - black tortie

*Brambling - (a small brown finch with black, white and reddish markings) black or chocolate tortie/torbie

Brindle - black tortie

Dusk - gray tortie

Ember - any tortie with significant amounts of ginger

Ferret - chocolate tortie

*Fritillary - (a kind of butterfly) black tortie with significant amounts of orange

*Fumitory - (refers to a plant with semi-translucent pink-purple flowers that darken at the tip, said to resemble rising smoke) gray tortie

*Hawthorn - (refers to the red berries, since they have a blackish top) predominantly ginger black tortie

*Hornet - black tortie

Jay - (either blue or Eurasian jay) gray or lilac torbie/tortie

Kite - (refers to the red kite, a bird of prey) black tortie or torbie

Kestrel - (common kestrel) torbie

Lichen - gray tortie

*Linnet - (a small finch, refers to the male) torbie or gray tortie/torbie

Lizard - (refers to the common lizard, a primarily golden-brown lizard with spots) spotted or mottled torbie

Marsh - any kind of torbie

Morning - gray or lilac torbie/tortie

Moth - torbie

*Nerite - (A striped water snail) black tortie or torbie

Newt - (refers to the common newt or smooth newt) torbie

*Oriole - (refers to golden oriole, a yellow and black or brown and yellow songbird) black tortie or torbie

*Partridge - (a ground dwelling bird, refers to gray partridge or red-legged partridge) gray or lilac tortie/torbie

Robin - standard or chocolate torbie

*Rudd - (a silver and brown fish with reddish fins) torbie or gray torbie/tortie

*Saffron - (meadow saffron, a purple and orange flower) gray tortie/torbie

Scorch - black tortie

Swallow - (a small bird with a distinctive forked tail) a bicolor tortie or dilute tortie with only small amounts of orange

Swamp - any kind of torbie

*Sycamore - (a tree with mottled gray and red-brown bark) gray or lilac tortie/torbie

Toad - (refers to the common toad) chocolate tortie, or primarily brown spotted torbie

Trout - (refers to the brown trout) spotted torbie

Wasp - black tortie

*Whinchat - (a small brown songbird with a pale orange chest) torbie or chocolate tortie/torbie

NONSPECIFIC COLOR

Berry

Bird

Bloom

Blossom

Breeze

Cone

Fern - could refer to long fur?

Fin

Finch - (finch can come in any number of colors if you don’t specify species)

Flower

Frond

Grass - mackerel tabby

Green - (I know it’s a “specific color” but the cat sure isn’t green. could possibly stretch to include a tan or dark yellow-ish tabby [you know, green-brown] )

Hawk - (see Finch) best bet is brown/gray-brown range

Hound

*Horse

Leaf - (could depend on season the kit is born? leaf-bare- dark brown/black mottled cat, leaf-fall- ginger/golden brown torties, newleaf- cream spotted [for the abundance of flowering trees], greenleaf- N/A? Unless you’re into green-brown)

Moss(y) - mottled

Olive - (see Green)

Petal

Pod

Ripple

Rubble

Seed - probably spotted 

Splash

Thorn

Thunder

Vine

Wave

Weed

Wet

Wind(y)

PHYSICAL ASPECT/PATTERN

Arch - pattern(?)

Bristle - fur type

Curl(y) - fur type

Dapple(d) - pattern

Feather - fur type

Freckle - pattern

Fleck - pattern

Fuzzy - fur type

Mottle - pattern

Patch - pattern

Jagged - pattern(?)

Heavy - size

Kink(ed) - fur type

Little - size

Long - body

Prickle - fur type

Shimmer - fur quality? I suppose?

Sleek - body or fur type

Small - size

Soft - fur type

Speckle - pattern

Spike(y) - fur type

Spot(ted) - pattern

Stem - body (skinny)

Tall - body

Tiny - size

Twig - body (skinny)

Tangle - fur type

Whorl - pattern

Wild - fur type(?)

Woolly - fur type

INJURY SPECIFIC (paired with damaged body-part)

*Bent

Broken

Claw(ed)

Crooked

Dead

Half

Kink(ed)

Lost

*Mangled

*Missing

*No

Odd

One(?)

Ragged

*Ripped

*Scar(red)

Short

Shred(ed)

*Split

Stump(y)

*Tattered

*Three

Torn

*Twisted

VERBS and OTHERS (otherwise known as the “prefixes I will never use” but I said I’d include them all, so here they be)

Bounce

Brave

Bumble

Crouch

Down

Drift

Echo

Fallen

Fidget

Flail

Fleet

Flip

Flutter

Fringe

Hatch

Haven

Hill

Hollow

Hoot

Hop (verb)

Hope

Jump

Loud

Mumble

Pounce

Quick

Quiet

Running

Sharp

Shy

Slight

Snap

Sneeze

Snip

Song

Strike

Talon

Tumble

Whisker

Whistle

Wish

[thecagedsong]

Forgotten Light Chapter 13: Tunnels

A/N: Hey there, long time no see. Left to hyperfixate on Doctor Who for a while, but I’m back on my Fablehaven business. This is a long chapter, it probably should be two chapters in the final version, but I really wanted to get the tunnels part out. Also, let me know if Kendra’s crafting is making sense and if the dialog for this chapter is working out. Very important chapter. 

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13

Chapter 13: Tunnels

 When Kendra woke up the next morning, she knew Ronodin had left. The night before they had eaten dinner separately, and while Kendra focused on reading or staring at the library wall, Ronodin hadn’t come out of his room. She saw him for a moment as she went to bed, but he turned away from her.

It was confirmed by a note on the countertop.

Love,

I hate to leave while we’re fighting, but I have to go handle another errand for our host. Despite your doubts in me and what I implied, I will be back for you, and we’ll go on another little adventure. This is what we have to do until we can go on the bigger adventures together in the sunlight. At the bottom of this note is another design for an amulet you might try, and we’ll both be working to shorten your quarantine.

Ronodin

 And Kendra was back to feeling bad all over again! She went back and forth all yesterday afternoon about apologizing again, promising that Mendigo wouldn’t stop him if he tried to leave, or holding to her words. It was dangerous. He was trying. She was being difficult. She had a right to be difficult.

Sketched at the bottom of the note was a triangle amulet, with crescents open to the left. Inside the triangle was a circle inside an oval with an ‘x’ through it, bisecting in the center of the circle. Because you have to carve intent into every craft, Kendra had to go look up what the symbol meant in the dictionary he gave her.

The triangle was a curse, and the eye a symbol for blindness. Putting it within a circle, she should be able to direct it only at certain people, namely enemies. Did she want to blind her enemies? On the one hand, it was the same principal as her weakness charm. No harm, unless they intended to harm her first. On the other…

As someone who can count on her hands the number of rooms she’s seen, as someone who is alienating the single relationship she has to get a glimpse of sunlight, and as someone whose most prized possession is a landscape painting of the outside, could she take away someone else’s sight?

Maybe she could limit it to cursing people not to see her. An invisibility charm was a lot less problematic than a blinding curse. Combing through the books didn’t give her any insight on how to limit the blindness. In fact, applying Ronodin’s charm as is to a circular amulet wouldn’t even limit duration. It would blind any enemy that looked at her once, permanently.

It would take good craft and magic application to create, and a single mistake would make the magic run out halfway through the first use of the amulet, leaving a person…partially blinded? Blinded in one eye? Temporarily blinded? It didn’t say, so Kendra had to put a couple of concepts together to make a guess. Magic based on gaze was actually the most magic consuming type of enchantment. That was all it said, so Kendra went looking through her little library for more of an explanation.

She managed to clobber together answers from five different books:

All magic is reactionary, a person must interact with the spell caster or the enchanted object for the magic to be applied. The safest place from magic is away from it. Simply seeing something only activates extremely rare curses and enchantments, usually crafted from Dragon parts, because it just required that much magic. Touch is the most common type of curse conduit, and came in the variations. Presence within an enchanted area or physical contact with the item or caster were the most common. Proximity casting is rare, but technically falls between touch and sight in terms of magic usage. There was also gaseous spells, which technically also operated based on touch, but the enchanted matter expanded, so that’s also deserved a special mention.

Kendra was a limitless supply of magic. If she wore a sight-based curse, well crafted to actually create an effect, it would never run out of juice. It would fully infect others every time. It also couldn’t be used against her to the same potential.

If she made that work, there was no way Ronodin could justify keeping her locked up.

But what if…what if her brother felt like he had to harm her in order to get her to go with him? She could blind him, and not even know it. Is that what old Kendra would have wanted, after giving up her memory for him? No. Temporarily feeling too weak to chase her? Fine. Permanently blinding someone with good intentions? Not fine.

Kendra left the books open and went into the hallway.

“Mendigo?” she asked, and the puppet walked in front of her. “How many hours ago did Ronodin leave?”

Mendigo held up two fingers.

“Did he say words as he left out the front door?” she checked.

Mendigo shook his head. Ha. She knew that he had made that up to keep her from stealing the key.

“You have to follow all my orders, correct?” Kendra checked. And the puppet nodded.

“Are there things I can’t tell you to do?”

Mendigo hesitated, then nodded his head.

“Are the things you won’t do if I tell you impossible because Ronodin ordered you not to do them?”

Head shaking no. She couldn’t ask him about the things he couldn’t do, Mendigo couldn’t handle questions more complicated than yes and no.

“If I gave you a paintbrush, would you be able to write out explanations to longer questions?”

Mendigo shook his head no. Drat. Complicated magic, but not an intelligence behind it.

Could she craft a puppet like Mendigo? Probably not, not unless there was some kind of wood that wanted to become a limberjack. None of her books said anything about creating a little bit of intelligence, enough to answer questions and have memory. But maybe if she got good enough. Though why she’d want another when she already had Mendigo made it a moot question. It was probably impossible anyway.  

“Mendigo, the things I could ask you to do and you wouldn’t,” she asked, “is that because they would be impossible for you to do?”

He nodded, and pointed at the front doorknob. Right, she had told him to open the door, and he couldn’t.

“Would you be able to tell me if Ronodin is the one really giving you orders?” Kendra tried.

More hesitation, then slow nodding.

“Has Ronodin ever given you any orders that you followed?”

More nodding. That didn’t actually tell her much. Ronodin was her secret boyfriend, if she had ever once said ‘Mendigo, do what Ronodin says,’ then the answer to this question would be yes.

“Are you currently following any of Ronodin’s orders?” she said. Vigorous no.

“Right,” Kendra said, feeling a little better. “From now on, you are not to follow anyone’s orders but my own, under any circumstance. Will you be able to follow that order?”

Here came the longest pause. Was it because she was asking him a question about the future? Maybe the enchantment didn’t allow for questions like that.

Slowly, Mendigo nodded his head. That was good.

For the rest of the morning, she settled on making a stronger version of her first amulet, temporary weakening based on intent and proximity. Maybe if she made that good enough, she wouldn’t have to permanently blind someone just to be free.

Ronodin showed up in the late afternoon, but didn’t fully enter the apartment, instead choosing to stand in the doorway.

“I see you didn’t take my suggestion,” Ronodin said, nodding at the newly carved amulet in her hand. She had taken a break to grab a snack from the kitchen, and found him there.

“Is this your way of checking in on me without having to let me out?” Kendra asked, rolling her eyes.

“Well, I ran into a snag when arranging your fake death,” Ronodin explained, “A quick video of you telling the person to help me will fix all my problems. I need to go back out again right away —”

Kendra sighed, “You can come in Ronodin, Mendigo won’t stop you from leaving.” Because it felt like the properly dramatic thing to do, she leaned against the hallway wall and slid down until she was sitting. It took a small adjustment, but her current red dress was stretchy, and she managed to do it modestly.

Ronodin came and slid down beside her, and the door swung shut.

“I’m sorry for acting like a brat,” Kendra said. “it’s not fair, and there’s no excuse, but it’s just so frustrating being locked up like this.”

Ronodin smiled, “Believe me, I know more than you can guess at what that’s like. Think you’re ready to hear why my family hates me?”

Kendra nodded, sitting up straighter.

“Forever ago, I started to question why the Fairy Queen was the ultimate authority on what was good and what was bad in the world. There were five other thrones, and they all play important roles in keeping the world functioning, and they all had different ideas of what was good and right than the Fairy Queen. But mortal wizards sided with her, as did human adventurers, and every kind of mortal agreed: the Fairy kingdom is the brightest light, and we should all strive to their ideals.

“Never mind the naiads and great fairies who kill because mortality is funny. Never mind the imps and the abandoned nipsies. Never mind the philosophies of balance that demand that destruction is just as important as creation to the continuation of the world. Never mind the strength of not picking a side and acting according to your own will and conscious. It sickened me to be part of such an oppressive kingdom that claims the moral right in everything.”

Ronodin drifted into a memory. “What did you do?” Kendra asked, bringing him back.

“I corrupted my horns,” Ronodin said simply, “It took a bit of time and a lot of favors, but I was able to break myself from the Fairy Kingdom. The Queen doesn’t command me anymore. I owe allegiance only to myself, and that’s how I want it to be. Some of those favors contributed to people getting hurt, but I can’t regret it. When I saw you going through something similar, I knew I had to talk to you. And now, here we are.”

“Here we are,” Kendra echoed. Sitting in the depths of some underground labyrinth, fighting over prison keys and the greater good, Kendra with no memory of who she was, and Ronodin fighting the same battles he’s fought his entire life over freedom.

Kendra leaned over and touched Ronodin of her own volition. Nothing romantic, not really, just her head resting on his shoulder. A silent show of support.

She sat up after just a minute, because she liked sincere Ronodin much better than flirty or angry Ronodin. (Flabberghasted Ronodin still held top spot).

“Let’s get that video for you,” Kendra said, then paused. “Wait, no one is going to get hurt when faking my death, right?”

Ronodin shook his head and took out his cell phone, “I promise, no humans are going to be harmed in the faking of your death. I just need some help creating a believable fake body.”

Kendra gave a little smile, “Doesn’t it ruin my fake death if someone knows about it and is helping you set it up?”

“Be very vague,” he advised, “The vaguer the better, so that when we do fake your death, even they will be convinced.”

“Okay then, what should I say?” she asked. “Am I talking to someone specific?”

Ronodin pointed the phone camera at her, “No, I’ll probably need to use it on a couple of people. Just tell the viewer to help me. Don’t mention my name directly, if you can help it. The less they know about who you’re with, the safer you’ll be. Ready…three, two one.”

"Oh, um, hi,” Kendra waved at the camera sheepishly, “I’m not sure who is going to have see this, but this guy is actually helping me. If you could lend him a hand, that would be great and I could get out of here much faster. Thank you!”

Ronodin then changed the view of the camera so that they were both in the picture, and gave a little wave. “Anything for Kendra.” He placed a quick kiss on her cheek and caught the start of her blush before he stopped recording.

“There, that should be convincing enough,” he said, pocketing his phone.

“I assure you, that kiss was unnecessary,” she said, folding her arms, still red.

He grinned back, “And I assure you, my caterpillar, that it was completely necessary. Another one for the road?”

Kendra stood up rather than let him take another kiss. They had had a good moment, she wasn’t going to let him ruin it. He stood up as well.

“I’ll probably arrive back while you’re asleep,” he said. “Can I see how you’re doing with that amulet? You chose another weakening one?”

“I’m not ready to permanently blind my misguided family,” Kendra said, handing over the amulet.

Ronodin nodded, “Well, you’re progressing. A lot more magic took in this one than your first try. It’s well on the way to making fatigue hit anyone who lays a hand on you.”

Kendra frowned, “I was going for proximity, still not enough focus?”

Ronodin nodded, “The applied magic isn’t strong enough, nor is the craftsmanship. You accidentally cut all the way through one broken link, making one of your four chains whole, and you really oversanded the top. Don’t worry, we’ll work on it some more when I get back. This is a skill like any other, it’s going to take time. You’ll get better at this, I promise.”

Kendra nodded, sighing over the flaws he pointed out. “Is ‘have fun’ the wrong response for the task of faking my death?”

“Oh,” he said grinning, “After the stunts you pulled, I’ll be having lots of fun. Don’t go crazy.”

“You’ll be the first to know if I do.”

Mendigo stepped out of the shadow of the doorway as Ronodin approached, “It’s fine Mendigo. Ronodin can come and go as he pleases.” Kendra said.

Mendigo stepped back and Ronodin stepped past and closed the door without a backward glance.

Knowing she lost the fight, Kendra returned to the craft room. She took that feeling, and turned it into the desire to weaken those that would make her lose with every paint brush stroke.

The second medallion was certainly more than just wood and paint when Kendra was done with it. It felt…expectant. Waiting to fulfill its purpose. A spiked trap, waiting to fall. It was kind of exhilarating, knowing what she had created had force and abilities beyond her.

Kendra had wielded magic.

Kendra looked back over the amulet that Ronodin has suggested she make, then ran to one of the books she had referenced that morning about how to build in a command. A dual check, the person had to want to harm her, and she had to want to curse them. She could make that curse.

All it needed was a second circular border with a notch, and Kendra would have to hold it and intend to activate it before it would blind someone. The pattern was more complex than what she had attempted before, but after all her reading, she felt ready. She switched to a block of wood called stiltseia, because the description indicated that it’s flowers alternatively flashed darkness or bright light each time the flowers bloomed. It felt right for this project.

Kendra worked though lunch, snacking on the bread and cheese that populated their kitchen. This time she made sure that if her carving tool was touching wood, she had her magic gathered and turned towards blinding enemies. The emotions feeding this purpose were vengeance, ambition, and desire to lash out. She didn’t have strong vengeance on her own, but Lady Kuychia wrote the book on vengeance, and Kendra had read it. Towards the end of Lady Kuychia’s life, when her husband found out about her shadow charmer abilities, he accused her of being pure evil, stole their children, and put a ‘kill the witch’ order throughout the entire countryside surrounding them. Vicariously, Lady Kuychia’s burning vengeance took shape in the amulet, to permanently blind those that would harm her.

Lady Kuychia had never gotten vengeance herself, if the handwritten note in the back indicating that the conquistadors pillaging the area around her village had hung her, after she kept putting out the fires meant to burn her. They caught her when she had sacrificed herself in a distraction to give her children a chance to run away from the Portuguese raid. Her husband had spat at her on his way out with their children. The children were captured and killed the day after their mother had died by hanging. Those emotions fueled the carving.

Except the outer notched circle. Following instructions, she focused on her need for control. The battle to control her negative emotions took place outside her body for the first time, as she ordered the power of the amulet into the circle, and into where she said they should stay. There were two different types of magic under her hands, the negative emotions of the amulet and the unyielding neutral control being pushed through her tool. Building a wall around the fire pit.

Kendra added a coat of paint right away, it didn’t feel bound tightly enough without it. This time she selected a dark purple paint, phantom tears and harpy blood. She was going by instinct, but tears also came from the eyes, and harpies seemed like the kind of creature more than happy to take out your eye for taking their blood.

It came out a color so deep, it was almost black, but the purple seemed to highlight around the cuts of her design. She hung it on a hook over the fire, next to the one she had made that morning. Three amulets down. No way to safely test them.

Crafting two amulets was exhausting enough that she wanted to take a nap. First, she had to clean up the mess she had made in the library.

Unfortunately, she had to guess at the places she had taken the books from. She had a vague idea of the organization: magic books left of the fire, histories and biographies on the right, and close to the door were the reference books, but without being able to read all the languages, she was mostly guessing.

Kendra scooted a space a little wider to make room for where she thought a book was supposed to go, and a yellowed piece of paper fell from between the spines. Kendra put the book away and picked up the paper.

To the current occupant,

You’re probably like me, someone whose abilities can only be used voluntarily, so they are keeping you locked up here until they can convince you to do what they want. I have no hope for rescue, and I refuse to do what they ask. I expect to die here, but I have hidden notes written in Silvian, and hidden them around the library to pass the time. If there is nothing else to my life, maybe these notes will make the duration easier for the next occupant.

So far I have discovered a single secret tunnel going out of here. Twist the head of the goblin statue and the wall will become permeable. I won’t survive outside this room, but maybe a prisoner better suited for this environment could use it to their advantage.  

Peace,

Maykrill of Anksonling

 Not what she expected to find, but she was wide awake now. It took a little bit of digging, but the goblin statue was directly diagonal behind her favorite reading chair. What kind of prison cell has a tunnel in it?

The tunnel probably didn’t lead outside, there was no way she was that lucky, but ‘anywhere else’ still ranked pretty high on the places she wanted to be.

The statue was a little taller than her palm, and currently being used as a bookend. The goblin made an icky sound when she twisted the head, like she was killing a living thing, and the small stretch of wall between bookcases became hazy. More gas than solid, and while she had to turn sideways to fit, she made it through just fine.

Unfortunately, she could barely see in front of her face. With how good she’s gotten at hiding her light, there was practically nothing. Should she un-dim herself? It would let things know where she was when she probably didn’t want them to, but she was probably already glowing a little anyway.

Kendra reached out and touched a wall, which immediately lit torches filled with the same blue fire that haunted her own apartment. Hiding wasn’t an option. Should she go back? But what was she waiting for?  Ronodin wouldn’t be back for a couple of hours yet, it was mid-afternoon. She might not get a better chance to figure out more about where she was.

If someone asked her what she was doing, she would just head back. And she’d stay out of the dragon invested grotto. A quick check showed that the wall was completely permeable from this side, meaning she wasn’t going to be locked out. Unless the twisted head operated on a timer. But she wouldn’t be able to test that theory without it being too late to do anything about it. Her best bet would be to make the most of this current foray, but if she didn’t leave for long periods of time and she didn’t get locked out, she might be able to keep this secret until they were cleared to leave this place. She grabbed her second amulet on her way towards the tunnel.

So much for Ronodin winning their battle of wills. Ha.

Kendra crept along the corridor, her bare feet quiet along the ground. It sloped downward, and she thought there was a very subtle switchback before it opened another fuzzy wall. Fuzzy on her side, hopefully solid on the opposite side. Stepping closer, she tried to get a good view of the room before she set foot.

The room seemed large, enormous even. It was dimly lit with sporadic torches, the stone darker than in her hallway. A neutral jean blue darkened into marbled navy, made to look even colder by blue flame. Kendra glanced down at her bare feet, and really hoped the ruby necklace actually warmed her up and didn’t just shut off her perception of cold.

There were large structures scattered about the room, and Kendra narrowed her eyes, trying to figure out the nearest one through the wall.

“I know your mother taught you better manners than to skulk when you know people can sense you, Ronodin. Please do leave me be, I’m not telling you anything else, and this constant taunting is rather irritating, even for you.”

Her eyes adjusted as the boy spoke. Because he was a boy, and based on his voice, couldn’t be much older than her, probably Ronodin’s age. She could catch the outline of bars, bent in around a circle, like a bird cage. Almost appropriate, given that this boy’s voice was the most melodic she had ever heard. Beautiful as Ronodin’s, but in a different way. Clearer, somehow.

“Fine, I will simply annoy you in return. I don’t think High Sylvian has ever graced these halls, join in if you remember the words:

 Follow the wind,

The one that blows of honey and rose

A caress, a brush, steady and slow

Follow the wind to Asamelle

  Trail the stream,

Of cerulean and lily pads green

It bubbles laughter and splashes song

Trail the stream to Asamelle

  Chase the light,

It hovers and flickers at the edge of sight

Whiter than ever beheld, brighter than ever-ever lived,”

The boy’s voice cracked here, and the imperfection in the perfect song made her throat grow tight. When he started singing again, it was just a little more raw, and Kendra had to cover her mouth.

“Chase the light to Asamelle

Chase the light home.

  You followed the wind, and trailed the stream,

chased the light, found the dream,

Home, to Asamelle.

  Moonlight blossoms, viridian forest,

Wave to the naiad, dance to the Djini lyre

Unicorns race and run through the mire

You have come home to Asamelle

  Beneath the tiger sky, follow softly,

Pass tree-grown houses, and beds of petals new

The final rise gives way to Heartsworn

The crowning jewel of Asamelle

  There’s so much light, it’s too bright,

Push forward; the sun was brought to house,

The virtuous beings of Asamelle

  An orchestra of birds, winds, and strings

Elf and Phoenix dance with the grace of falling leaves,

Step forward, part of the dance, the moment, the chance

Asamelle sings you home.”

 A tear slid down her cheek. An honest tear, her payment for the song. It was so full of love and longing; it would have been a sin to not be affected.

“Hang on, Ronodin would never have listened to me sing that,” the boy said, “Who are you?”

Kendra fled back to the library. She banged her hip on her way through the secret passage, and curled up in her armchair.

Her heart was thumping, pounding, her face hot. What was wrong with her? She just…all she needed was a moment to calm down and collect herself. That prisoner revealed a lot, she just needed some space and time from his voice to be able to process it.

The prisoner was so sad. How could anyone keep him jailed away like that? Was Asamelle his home? Why did he ever leave? It sounded beautiful, in a way that looks fragile but is more solid than anything else. A sculpture that appears to be made of glass, but is actually of ice or diamond.

And the part she didn’t want to think about: Ronodin is his jailor. He seemed to know Ronodin quite well, well enough think he could tick Ronodin off. And considering Ronodin’s relationship with his home, that song probably would. The boy thought she was Ronodin, there to question him some more. What could Ronodin want with him? How many more of her schemes would Ronodin tolerate until Kendra was in a cage next to the boy?

If she was trapped down there, would he sing for her if she asked?

No. The goal was to get out to the sunlight, not end up another bird in a cage, one much more unpleasant than her current residence. Why was he in a cage? Ronodin was all about freedom, and making sure people had the space to make their choices. He seemed to hate that Kendra was in a cage, Ronodin wouldn’t imprison someone else without reason.

Things weren’t adding up. Should she wait to confront Ronodin about it? Should she go talk to the trapped boy? Kendra thought she could make another trip before Ronodin came back tonight. Who would be more likely to lie? The boy or Ronodin?

Kendra needed facts. Evidence. Mendigo was under her full control. She had a brother named Seth. She chose to give up her memory. Ronodin loved her. She was fairykind and could use magic to make enchanted objects and see in the dark. Everything else she knew came from Ronodin’s story.

Kendra wanted to talk to the boy. And when Ronodin came back, she didn’t know when he’d leave again. This could be her only chance.

The goblin’s head was back to normal, and she broke the neck again. Kendra also took her second amulet, to weaken those who would harm her, not the blinding one. If the boy had the intention of harming her while she was down there, her curse would strike. Possibly. Not that he could do much from inside a birdcage.

The hallway had darkened, but lit once again as she touched the wall. Surer than the first time, Kendra hurried down the secret tunnel to the half-there wall. Once again, Kendra stopped.

“I know you’re there,” the boy called, much softer this time.

Gathering her courage, Kendra passed through the wall, halfway. She spotted an identical goblin statue, this time part of the brace holding up a torch, and went through all the way.

She walked forward, and a light sprung from inside the cage, small and dim, it illuminated the boy.

He was handsome. Unbelievably handsome. Kendra couldn’t remember seeing the cover of a magazine, and only knew that they depicted pretty people. She felt like she wouldn’t ever need to see a magazine; the boy in front of her screamed that kind of impossible perfection. White hair, blue eyes, unblemished pale skin, cupid’s bow lips that had fallen open at the sight of her.

Too late she remembered that she was currently wearing the stretchy red dress, a ruby medallion, a white cursed amulet (luckily that eyesore was tucked under her neckline), and her hideous orange cardigan. Her hair had been brushed and tied back before she started crafting, and she certainly wasn’t wearing the makeup in her bathroom. She felt a thousand times grungier than she had before.

The boy’s face changed, hardening, and he turned to speak to the general space around them, “Nice try Ronodin. I’m not going to lie and say I expected you to send a fake Kendra,” she jumped when he said her name, “but she really needs some work. This one barely glows, much less radiates like the sun. I’m honestly more surprised you let through such a bad copy.”

“Oh, um, Ronodin didn’t send me, I’m kind of here without him knowing, so I’d appreciate it if we could keep this a secret,” Kendra said nervously, tugging at her cardigan, hoping to turn it into something less ridiculous. “And I can shine brighter, but it seems to bother people, so I dim it.”

The boy raised his eyebrows in disbelief, “Kendra could never be dim.”

She unclenched the mental fist halfway, removing part of the block on her light, and immediately things became easier to see. One of the nearby cages started grumbling, so she dimmed it again.

He stared at her, and Kendra blushed and shifted under his gaze.

“Um…, I came to ask you some things,” Kendra tried, eyes drawn to the floor. This was not how she expected this to go. “But mostly, I really liked your song. Is Asamelle your home?” That was not what Kendra meant to ask him about, and blushed. Hopefully he couldn’t see in the dim light the way she could.

“Asamelle was the capital city of the old Fairy Realm,” he said, with disbelief. “Kendra, look at me.”

It clicked in her head, “Oh, you know me, don’t you?” she said, doing as he asked and looking at him. “I’m sorry, but I’m having some trouble remembering you at the moment.”

“And I’m still having trouble believing you’re the real Kendra,” he said. “Not knowing who I am isn’t doing you any favors.”

Kendra shrugged, “Don’t take it personally, I don’t know who anyone is. My oldest memory is turning a key that made me lose my memory. My brother Seth was there, and Ronodin, also an angry guy that claimed to be the King of the Dragons, and a magical dwarf. We were all fighting over a stone and my brother kind of won, I think, then I faked my own kidnapping and brought myself here. I really am sorry I don’t remember you.”

He was shaking his head slowly.  

“There are so many things wrong with what you just said, but I’m still having some trouble believing you’re Kendra and not some Ronodin knock off sent here to torture me,” he said, “Do you mind letting me confirm your story?”

“How?” she asked cautiously.

He held out a hand through the bars, “It’s not bad, just touch my hand, and give me permission to see if you are telling the truth. I can’t see anything you don’t want me to, and you won’t feel a thing.”

Kendra pulled back a little. “I don’t know your name, and I don’t know who or what you are. I’m sorry, I really don’t feel comfortable doing that.” Could all unicorns do what he said? She might be in a lot more trouble with Ronodin than she thought.

“I’m Bracken,” he said, retracting his hand and backing away, “We’ve done this before, if you really are Kendra. I’m a unicorn, and the Fairy Queen herself vouched for me.” His eyes softened, looking over her again, “I’m sorry, whatever is going on, I don’t mean to frighten you. I won’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with, though it will make trusting you a little more difficult. Please don’t be afraid of me.”

Oh, he was kind. Why would Ronodin imprison someone like him? Being a unicorn the same age as Ronodin explained the comments about Ronodin’s mother and the polite dislike. The name Bracken also sounded familiar…

“Oh no,” Kendra said, covering her mouth. It all came together. Bracken was Ronodin’s cousin, the one she was engaged to while secretly seeing Ronodin.

Bracken’s eyebrows raised, “I will admit that’s the first time my name has evoked that reaction. You remember something about me around your mysterious bout of amnesias?”

Kendra wanted to run away again. No wonder Ronodin knew it wasn’t safe for her to leave yet; people from her old life were already tracking her here. Why hadn’t Ronodin told her? Of course, he didn’t tell her, she spent so much time fighting him. Was Ronodin worried she would leave, or demand to leave until she hated him? This was all wrong and not fair, and Kendra didn’t know what to do.

“I’m so sorry for what old me did to you,” Kendra said. “I don’t know why I led you on, I’m sorry.” Kendra put her hand over his, which was suddenly gripping the bars of his cage. “I give you permission to see the truth of my words.”

Bracken closed his eyes, and his forehead creased, “It’s…blank. I can sense your memories for a time, then its just gone. You gave them up, but it is your mind,” he said with disbelief. “You are really Kendra.”

Bracken frowned, “There’s something awful here, dark, but nowhere near strong enough to block your memories. Do you remember any other curses? Or maybe you have a cursed item?”

“Oh, um, I made it today, to protect myself from people who would do me harm? It’s a little new, but it might be what you’re talking about,” Kendra said, pulling out the medallion.

“You did what? Kendra, you don’t make curses. That’s dark magic,” Bracken said, clutching the bars of his cell, “Listen to me closely, whatever you do, stay away from crafting curses. How can you even do that?” Which verified Ronodin’s words. Her crafting had been a secret, he did think she was evil, as was her art. There was just one more thing to check.

“Are you familiar with Mendigo?” Kendra asked.

“Your puppet? Kendra, I feel like you’re not listening to me. Whatever Ronodin said —”

“Does Mendigo only do what I say or not?”

“Well, yes, Mendigo, as I understand it, is keyed into the commands of you and your brother, and whoever you tell him to listen to.” Bracken said. “I don’t see why that’s important. Look, Ronodin is evil, you can’t trust anything he says —”

“What about my family?” Kendra asked, “Do they really imprison dark creatures against their will?”

Bracken’s eyebrows rose, “What? In a manner of speaking they do, because nothing else would have the chance to grow and flourish if we let them out. Demons, the unbound undead, dragons, they would destroy everyone and everything if given a single chance. You helped put so many of them away. They’ve killed your friends and family. It isn’t an unjust prison sentence if that’s what Ronodin told you. They all chose darkness and destruction, or it’s their nature and life sentences over huge tracks of land to roam seem more humane than killing everyone in an effort not to die ourselves. You and your family are the best people I know. Good people. Ronodin is twisting the truth for his own ends if he says differently. You are a good person Kendra, you don’t craft curses. You don’t chose evil, you can’t. It isn’t who you are. Don’t listen to Ronodin’s lies.”

“Ronodin said the exact same thing,” Kendra said sadly, and Bracken went quiet, “Except, he knows something you don’t, something we couldn’t share with either of our families because yours hates him and mine wouldn’t understand. I’ve been enchanting magic objects for a while now. I met up with Ronodin in secret, and fell in love with him. I ordered Mendigo to kidnap me from my home so that we could be together.”

“Wha-no, no, no. That doesn’t make sense,” Bracken said, hurt crashing through those beautiful blue eyes as he drew back. “That can’t be true…I…you let me into your mind a week ago. Please believe me. You met Ronodin for the first time this past week.”

“He’s a little rough,” she defended quietly, looking away, “We’re learning our way around each other again over my memory loss. He hates that we have to stay cooped up, but he knows who I was better than anyone else.”

“That’s a lie,” Bracken insisted, “He doesn’t know anything about you. He doesn’t know that falling rain makes you think of your friend Lena. He doesn’t know that your favorite way to travel through the air is being held by the Dragon Raxtus. He doesn’t know that your cousin Warren would die for you, after seeing you die once already and being unable to stop it. Ronodin knows you less than you know yourself right now. I get that you-you might not be able to believe me right now, but find Seth, find your grandparents, they’ll be scouring the earth for you. They love you so much, and you love them more than anything in return.”

Bracken’s voice was low and sincere. His voice had cracked again, like it had during his song, his tell that the emotion was just too much. So utterly certain he was right. But Kendra didn’t know a Lena or a Raxtus or a Warren. And she couldn’t ask Ronodin about them, because then he would know she went wandering.

Why couldn’t the old Kendra have fallen in love with Bracken instead?

“Why did Ronodin imprison you?” she asked. “Was it…was it because of me? He and Seth mentioned that we were…intended.”

“Oh, um…I mean…That’s not...we’re, um,” Bracken said, flustered. He wasn’t blushing, but unicorn blood was silver, could he blush? Did he sparkle more in the light when blushing? Pooling silver instead of red? “I would have come for you, I swear, but uh, Ronodin got to me first. I’ve been here a week-ish. Hard to tell the days, the guards aren’t regular on feeding us. I’m not sure what he wants to do with me. He was helping overthrow preserves and trying to set dragons on the world to massacre humans, so I was sent to stop him, but he got the jump on me.”

Ronodin would try to negotiate better circumstances for the dragons, and starting them from a place of freedom is something he would do. Keeping Bracken for no reason? That didn’t sound like something he would do. Bracken being sent off to stop his cousin? Bracken looked fit, but she would probably bet on Ronodin in a fight.

What was the truth in all of this? Where was it? Except she knew where it was, locked away with her memories. This was the first time she felt like she needed her memories. Kendra had missed them before, but if what Bracken said was true, then Ronodin was brainwashing her. If what Ronodin said was true, she had purposefully led Bracken to believe the way he did, and she had escaped from the consequences of the harm she caused someone who seemed so honest and sincere. Why couldn’t she just know. Like a normal person.

“Would I give up my memory so my brother wouldn’t have to?” Kendra asked.

His eyes were soft, awkwardness leaving, “In a heartbeat. Seth has suffered much, often by his own folly, much because he was a child in a world too dangerous for someone with his curiosity and kindness. He has trouble knowing who to trust. You supported him, gave him strength, pulled him out of his misery, helped clean up his mistakes, but you wished you could bear some of the burden for him. If given the chance to spare him pain, to keep him from messing up without his memory and creating new guilt, Kendra Sorenson wouldn’t hesitate to give up her memories.”

His hand raised, and she noticed a piece of hair falling in her face, he hesitated just short of her, and then pulled his hand back to the bars.

“Sorenson,” she said, fixing the loose hair on her own, because she’d start crying if she didn’t speak, “Is that my name?”

Bracken nodded, smiling, “Kendra Marie Sorenson. Your first name came from a book your father loved, your middle name is the same as your maternal Grandmother’s middle name.”

“I want to believe you,” Kendra admitted. “But from the things I know for certain, you’re probably a victim of my own lies.”

“You are goodness,” Bracken said simply, “Goodness and light. Ask yourself if what you’re doing feels right, feels good. If it makes you a better person who helps people and creates good things. Don’t listen to Ronodin, don’t craft curses. If you find a moment to escape, take it. Take it and don’t look back. Head to upstate Connecticut, ask for the Sorensons. You’ll find people who can help you.” Bracken tensed, “My jailor is coming, hurry away, don’t stop.”

Kendra rushed to the goblin statue, twisted the head, and hurried back up the hall.

Back in her little apartment, she took off the amulet and held it up. It had felt good crafting it. Honest. Part of who she was before that she had reclaimed. What was true and what was false?

[cocochannel00]

Quarantine Date

Boyfriend!Harry plans a date in the era of social distancing...

A big PSA to all of my lovely followers: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WEAR A MASK AND SOCIAL DISTANCE WHEN IN PUBLIC. DON’T PUT YOURSELF AND OTHER PEOPLE AT RISK

Harry knew how important your work was to you. You were an essential worker during the COVID pandemic and had been working rigours 12+ hour shift at the hospital. You had barely seen or talked to Harry over the last couple of months, mainly because he had been locked down in LA for the first half of quarantine and you had been basically living in the hospital lounge. You had been dating Harry for almost a year now so you knew what it was like to have him far away, but this time it felt different. This time all you wanted to was spend your day off curled up in bed with Harry and watch as he tried to imitate Heath Ledger's accent in 10 Things I Hate About You instead of watching it by yourself. I guess you’d just have to spend the day wallowing in self pity with your tub of ice cream. 

You were half way through your movie when your phone rang. Too lazy to look at who’s calling to picked up the phone and spoke a quick hello.

“You. Me. Date tonight. No excuses” the person said through the phone.

“Why Tom Holland I’m flattered, but I’m sorry, I have a boyfriend already” you replied back as a joke.

“Ha ha very funny (y/n) and besides I know you don’t have Tom’s number yet. But seriously, I’ve been home nearly a week and I haven’t seen you in person.” Harry spoke.

“Haz, 4 patients on my floor tested positive for COVID this week. I don’t want to expose you or god forbid Anne or Gemma to it”

“We can do a social distance date, I’ll plan the whole thing,” Harry practically begged.

“Harry I don’t know...” you stated with a sigh.

“I know today is your day off and you’re probably curled up in bed with some ice cream right now so hear me out. You stay in your room and relax for the rest of the day and I’ll spend the day planning our date tonight. Please, love, I really want to see you even if it’s six feet apart and with a mask” Harry pleaded.

“Ok ok fine I’ll go on a social distancing date with you but only if you promise to stay 6 ft away” you said sternly.

“I’ll bring a measuring tape so you can double check” he replied as you laughed.

“Wonderful, I can’t wait. Do I need to wear something special to this date tonight?” You asked curiously.

“That’s a surprise for later”

“Harold you know I hate surprises” you whined over the phone.

“I know that’s why I love them. Now I need to go, I have lots of planning to do for tonight. Love you”

“Love you too, H. See you tonight” you replied before hanging up the phone.

You were excited yet nervous to see Harry in person. Seeing his face through zoom was one thing but seeming all of him in person without being able to run up and hug him could very well crush you on the spot. All you knew for sure was that thinking about this date was take up your entire day. You weren’t one for grand cheesy gestures and you hated being the center of attention so you prayed that Harry didn’t go overboard on the whole evening.

You groaned quietly as you rolled over the the other side of your bed (usually Harry’s side) and checked the alarm clock to see it was only 5 pm so you had at least another 3 hours of wallowing in self pity until Harry came back. For once you just wanted the clock to move faster. Sinking back down into your sheets you ran a hand through your wet hair from your morning shower. You knew you should have brushed it earlier so that it didn’t frizz , but you hadn’t been expecting company and you didn’t really care what you looked like under all your PPE at the hospital. Just as you were beginning to detangle your hair you got a message from Harry.

Harry: Wear pajamas tonight, we’re going extra comfy. Love you - H

You smiled at the message and placed the phone back onto your lap. Nothing could ever put a smile on your face faster than Harry’s name popping up on your screen. Back when you first started dating and you had been stressed about going back to work after visiting him on tour he would send you pictures of puppies every morning just to cheer you up. Now he’s resorted to other much less innocent tactics to try and cheer you up when you’re have a bad day, but you couldn’t complain (especially during quarantine). With all that said, Harry continues to surprise you daily so to say you were excited for your date night would be an understatement. The only thing getting you through the wait was knowing you needed to take at least a 2 hour nap before he got there otherwise you would pass out during your date tonight.

——————— /// ——————— // ——————-

You woke up to the sound of “Kiwi” blasting in your ear as the timer you had set went off. Carefully, you untangled yourself from your excessively long phone charger before check the time and realizing you only had ten minutes to get ready. How many times had you pressed snooze in your sleep? You were in too much of a rush to figure it out as you raced to your closet to put on a comfy pair of pajama shorts and an old college t shirt. Even though Harry said it was going to be casual you decided to still go through the effort of putting on a bit of concealer and foundation to try and cover up the bags under your eyes. You were just rubbing in your moisturizer when you got another text from Harry.

Harry: I’m downstairs, don’t look out your window. Come to the backyard when you’re ready because our date night is about to begin. - H 

You grinned widely at the message and quickly finished putting on the rest of your make-up while also running a brush through your hair. Your hair had definitely had better days but it was too late to do anything besides put your hair in a bun to try and keep the frizz down with the growing humidity. With one last look in the mirror, you went downstairs to go meet Harry.

You carefully made your way to the door and grabbed one of your cloth masks off of the counter before putting it on and opening the door to your backyard. Your porch had been covered in fairy lights and two mountains of pillows had been placed on opposite sides of the backyard. In the middle their stood a giant sheet with a projector set up underneath it. It looked like something out of a rom-com and you were shocked that Harry was able to set all of this up without you knowing. Just as you were about to call out Harry’s name you saw him walk in through the back door with a mask on, a bottle of wine in his hands. He was wearing one of your favorite striped shirts that you said made him look like Where’s Waldo’s cousin. 

“I know it’s not exactly how I would have liked to see you on our first date in months, but I made sure to measure out the 1 meter (6 feet) for the cushions” Harry stated as he placed the bottle of wine down on a table next to a box of pizza. 

Your eyes began to water at the sight of him in front of you. It had been so long since you had seen him in person and so much had happened in your life in the last couple months that all you wanted to do was run up and wrap your arms around him. You impulsively put your arms out and took a couple of steps forward before you remembered that you couldn’t touch him and put your hands down. A tear fell down your cheek just as Harry looked up from the bottle he was attempting to open.

“Y/n what’s wrong love. Did I do something wrong?” He asked cautiously as you shook your head.

“Just missed you a lot. Wanted to give you a hug, but I don’t want to risk it” you replied softly as you took off your mask and wiped the stray tears from your face. 

Harry slowly took off his mask and gave you a sympathetic smile, “Wish I could run up and hug you too, love. Missed you so much these past couple of weeks. Thought I was going to go crazy with Jeff and all that baking in LA”.

You chuckled softly at his efforts of lightening the mood before scrunching your nose the extensive facial hair you didn’t remember seeing before.

“When did you grow that fuzz ball on your face?” you questioned sarcastically as you made your way over to one of the pillow piles. 

Harry scoffed at your remark and ran his hand across his face, “Excuse me miss [y/l/n] but this has taken me nearly four months to grow and I’d say it is much more than just a fuzz ball” 

“You’re right Har, you definitely grew it out to pornstar level. Proud of you baby” you said with a giggle as Harry glared at you. 

“I did not come here to get harassed about my new look” Harry grumbled jokingly as he gave you his cheshire smile. 

“You’re right, you’re right, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t make fun of your tremendous accomplishments. Thank you by the way, for putting all of this together. This was really sweet. Oh my god, stop, is this your fuzzy sweater” You said with a squeal as you put on his multicolored cardigan he had placed on top of a blanket. You inhaled the smell of his Tom Ford cologne and smiled.

“I figured since I can’t give you a hug yet, you could wear that” he replied back as he carefully opened the box of pizza he had placed on a small table in the middle of the porch. 

You moaned softly as you stared at the pizza just a few feet away from you. 

“Why have I never heard you moan like that for me in bed?” Harry joked as you glared at him.

“That was my foodgasm moan. You know damn well I don’t keep quiet with you so I don’t want to hear any complaints. Now, give me two slices of that delicious pizza please” 

Harry laughed at your response as he placed his mask back on and put on some hand sanitizer before placing two piece of pizza on a plate and pouring you a glass of wine. He walked over to you carefully and placed the food and the glass on a tray next to you that you hadn’t seen. You thanked him before placing the tray in your lap and taking a sip of your wine. Harry began to grab himself a slice when you shouted his name and took out your phone. 

“Wait I want to get a picture of you in person. I can’t keep stalking your fans’ accounts to get pictures of you.” you mumbled as you tapped on your camera. 

Harry nodded grudgingly before he took off his mask and began posing with the bottle of wine. 

“I think I could be one of those influencers” he joked as he nearly spilled the wine onto his shirt. 

“I think maybe we should leave that to the pros” you replied jokingly as you curled up into your pillow fort and began munching on your food. 

Harry sat down in the the pillow fort adjacent to yours on your porch. The two of you talked as you ate and tried to catch each other up on anything that you had missed on your various facetime calls. It was nice to be able to see him in person and know that he was okay. You had been so worried he would catch it while in LA and even though he wasn’t in one of the high risk categories you had witnessed several health people die of the disease and you didn’t even want to think about Harry in that situation. After you had both finished your meals Harry decided to put on “10 Things I Hate About You” and proceed to jump up next to the sheet you guys were using for a screen and act out the entire bleacher serenade live. 

You could not keep the smile off of your face that night. Harry had this way of making you forget all of your problems when you were with him and you were grateful to have found someone as caring as him. 

“ I love you H, thank you for a wonderful night” you whispered as the credits rolled onto the screen. 

“Anything for you love. Glad I got to see for a bit even if you did fall asleep on me halfway through the movie.” He replied back with a grin.

“It wasn’t my fault! You made my pillow fort to cozy, how could I resist a cat nap?” you stated as you smiled at him.

“Can’t blame you for it. Got a couple of cute pictures of you sleeping for my lock screen though.” He replied with a smirk as you groaned.

“Harry I was definitely drooling, you need to delete those” you said as Harry shook his head. 

“Can’t do that. Got to show mom our lovely date night”

“Fine, but no one else sees that picture besides Anne. I can’t have Mitch and Jeff teasing me everytime I see them like with the whole ketchup fiasco.” you mumbled as you began to fold the blanket you had wrapped around your body during the movie. 

“Leave everything there love, you need to go get some sleep before your shift tomorrow. I’ll clean all of this up, you just head inside for me” Harry stated as he turned off the projector and began taking down the sheet. 

“Are you sure?” you asked hesitantly. 

‘Yes, love, you need your rest. Go, come on. I can’t have you falling asleep while taking care of your patients.” Harry replied.

You hesitated for a minute before buttoning up the sweater Harry had given you and putting your mask back on. 

“I don’t want to leave here without giving you a hug” you stated softly as Harry looked at you with a small smile.

“(Y/n) if you want a hug all you have to do is ask, would have given you one the minute I got here. Let me grab my mask.”

“You’re sure you’re okay with this? I got tested two days ago for COVID and the last 6 have been negative but I don’t get the results till tomorrow and I don’t want you to get ill” you replied with a hesitant look. 

“Love I think with all of the hand washing and the masks we’ll be okay, but I’ll only give you one if you want it” he said as he put on his mask and adjusted the nose wire. 

“I want one” you said as Harry opened his arms up for you.

You practically jumped into his arms and nearly started sobbing from the first really physical contact you’ve had with anybody in weeks.

“God I love you so much (Y/n)” Harry stated as he tugged you closer and placed a kiss on your temple through his mask.

“I love you too H” you replied back as you closed your eyes tight and tried to hold on as long as possible.

“Good now come on, get to bed so you’re well rested for tomorrow. I’ll come back tomorrow night with some dinner after your shift so we can eat together again. Would that be ok?” he asked as he placed his hands on your hips.

“That would be lovely. I get off at 8 tomorrow”

“I’ll be waiting for you here, don’t worry” Harry stated. 

“Ok, I’ll go. I love you” you replied as you carefully untangled yourself from Harry and slowly made your way inside.

“I love you too. good night Haz” 

“Night love, see you tomorrow”

———————————————————————

@thereal(y/n) Someone tell my boyfriend that he’s not cool enough to be sponsored by this amazing wine

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Masterlist

[scone-lover]

Happy Birthday to Holding Out For a Hero!!! ❤️

art by @subparselkie

I published the first chapter of my longest and most popular fic just about a year ago! And I bet you always wanted to see some shitty outlines. Right? Just giving the people what they want. My brain is chaos and now you all have to be subject to it. Strap in, boys. 😂 Everything’s below the cut!

Read Holding Out for a Hero on AO3

This fic was born because I saw a tumblr post about a hero and villain who are roommates and I just had to Snowbazzify it. I had so many random ideas in my brain, and I’d been engaging with fan content for the CO fandom for a few months now.

So I started off by opening a blank document and writing the Prologue, featuring Shep. I had a few basic facts in mind: Shepard’s a reporter, Simon’s a hero, Baz is a villain, Mage is an evil mayor. And that’s. Literally it. I made it up as I went along. I actually still do that with fics, even though I do try to outline in more detail now—I have to write a scene or two that’s been bouncing around in my head to get a feel for the story, then I can give it a direction.

The document is 337 pages on google docs, LOL. 

Here’s the first ever set of notes I had. I wrote this on March 29, 2020, directly after typing out the Prologue! 

Like I said, absolute chaos. The third Simon bullet point originally said something like “also I’m a superhero and only Penny knows,” then the following day I changed it to “but he’s so handsome? what do???” 

I didn’t publish the prologue until writing 5-6 additional chapters, but I think the only major change was going from Baz being “The Vampire” to just “Vampire.”

Chapter 1 was originally called “not a bloody avenger” before I decided to do the rhyming thing. I actually decided that because I wrote “counter spray and earl grey” down for chapter 2, unintentionally rhyming it, and then @ashspren-writes was like, “you should make them all rhyme”... so I did. 😂 For 25 more chapters.

I have a section labeled “quickie backgrounds” in which I finally sat down halfway through writing Chapter 2 (the blade/vamp fight) and said to myself, okay, maybe they should have backstories or something. Or like, reasons for being the hero and villain. Right, yeah, those would be good to make this into a coherent story. In the first version of that, Simon was a sports coach on the side, not a baker, and Baz was an English teacher. LOL. 

Once I had all that, I literally just wrote for four days. There’s a weird kind of magic to your first-ever fic for a fandom. All your ideas and thoughts and wishes for these characters comes to a head as you suddenly have an outlet for the first time. It’s why I think people’s first works are often their best or most creative or most profound. The first couple chapters took some time and a couple 1am epiphanies, but once I got into a rhythm it was quick going. I wrote a lot of it in a linear manner, but after writing the first Simon/Baz scene (watching the news together in the flat), I doubled back and added Simon going to Penny’s house after meeting the Mage so that I could work her in as a character earlier.

Fast forward to April 5, I had 5-ish chapters written? I thought this fic would have like... 10 total. And be less than 20k. Haha. Ha. I asked @ashspren-writes to beta read for me - I’d been bouncing ideas off her since the beginning - and then I started brainstorming titles. 

The list actually started with that second one. It took a whole 24 hours to decide on the final title. 😂 I thought it might be too cheesy. But hey, it worked out -- now I can’t open AO3 without the damn song getting stuck in my head. 

I worked a LOT with my friend @ashspren-writes on this fic - we were friends long before fandom, and she was the only person I knew at the time who had read CO and was involved in the fandom. I didn’t even have a tumblr at this point, I interacted mostly through Instagram and AO3!

On April 6, right before I posted, I realized that if I was going to actually put this on AO3 I should probably know where the story was going. So I made sure Chapters 1-6 were complete, then I wrote one bullet point per chapter up until 12 or so -- you can read those below.

Then I texted ashspren THIS mess:

Some silly notes:

Then I have a section that says “Why do they even have roommates?” because it was a few chapters in and I hadn’t justified richboy Baz and superhero Simon... living together. Cool cool cool

I also did this cool little writing experiment I want to share. Remember that line in Fangirl that’s like—“Once Cath wrote what she thought was a swordfight, and Wren turned it into a love scene.” (Or maybe it was the other way around? LOL.) Anyway, there’s swordfights in this, AND love scenes, so I wanted to do a play on that for two alternate ways Simon might figure it out.

I have a huge Deleted Section in which I wrote an alternate version of Simon and Baz finding out about their secret identities. I have one version where Baz figures it out first—it’s a very tropey yet angsty scene where Simon comes home totally wrecked from a fight, and Baz realizes as he’s helping with the wounds that he caused them. I actually like it a lot, but it ended up not quite fitting with the vibe of the fic (and I rather like them finding out through kissing better). :) I also had an idea where Simon figures it out because Vampire smells like cedar and bergamot, but it really just wasn’t interesting enough. 😂

Now onto... Outlines. 

I say that hesitantly because I think these are literally a disgrace to outlines everywhere. These are the baby ones I wrote on April 6 right before posting. Some are more detailed than others, clearly...

Gotta live up to my username somehow. 

We do love to see it. ​

I love this next one: 😂 CHAOS, SCONEY.

THEN, I wrote this as a very long text to ashspren, when I realized no sconey, this is not going to be under 20k words. LOL. 

And then I did A Dumb Thing and I put it on AO3, having absolutely NO CLUE WHERE THE STORY WAS GOING. 😂 

This is my favorite heading on the document.

Another one of my favorite notes in there.

This next part wasn’t even divided into chapters yet, it’s just a word vomit. I’m so sorry you have to read this mess.

Hahaha, once upon a time there was angst in this story. 😂 

And then I realized my true calling: bakery fluff.

Then and only then, I actually decided to divide into those things called Chapters. This is the point where I made the admission to mr scone (boyfriend, not husband lol, we just call him that) that I write gay fanfiction, whoops, and can he please help me because he’s a HUGE DC comics fan and knows everything. And of course, he was super chill about it, and he did. He really did. He’s the genius behind Egghead!!! And also the entire Mage-Humdrum-Supercomputer/Politics plot. I’m serious. I did none of that.

I can’t even say I’m trying anymore. “Flort”??? I AM LITERALLY NOT TRYING.

Why yes sconey, so very specific. 😂 

This is what qualifies as a “good” outline for me, that heading was just for my betas. Isn’t it fabulous to see that some of this actually made it in and I’m capable of planning in advance? 😂 

Get ready for the shock of your life, though -- I actually have a SUUUUPER detailed outline for the two finale chapters. Because, well, it’s the finale. Wrapping up loose ends does actually require planning, WHO KNEW. Also I’d been writing and posting for a couple months at this point and it had been several more weeks in quarantine so maybe I’d regained some sense of reality? It’s like two pages but still shittily written, so I’ll just share a couple tidibits.

That bullet point is extraordinarily cracky BUT actually, Baz shooting up from the cloud like an awesome fucking hot dramatic person was one of the very first scenes I envisioned for this fic :D 

I hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my writing brain! It’s a terrifying place. I love all of you that say Holding Out For a Hero is a well-crafted masterpiece, but respectfully, no ❤️ 

(Though I swear I AM super, super happy with how it turned out - it’s still my favorite thing I’ve ever written. Read it here!!!)

[buckybarnesthehotshot]

quarantine (steve rogers x reader oneshot)

main masterlist

Summary: y/n and steve are left to quarantine together in their house despite their broken marriage. will being stuck together bring them together or drive them apart?

word count: 2303

warnings: coronavirus, angst, mentions of a near-fatal accident, OOC Steve

A/N: I really wanted to do an angsty quarantine fic with the subtext of holding on to your loved ones especially now that we can’t be sure how much time we have left with each other 

       It’s been four years sine Steve Rogers and Y/N L/N officially tied the knot in a small ceremony held with their closest friends. The h/c-haired girl kept memories of the day near her heart for it was the most important day of her life. It was the day she promised herself to the love of her life. The day she was finally content with life.

       Unfortunately, her days of happiness and contentment were numbered. Sooner enough, her days of happiness were stolen from her when a near-fatal lab accident took place, leaving the girl bedridden for months. Of course, her husband didn’t know about the accident. How could he when he was out on a mission taking up the best of six months.

       When Steve returned from the mission, Y/N didn’t dare tell him about the accident in fear of making him view her as weak; an incompatible partner to the great Captain America. Hell, she didn’t tell him about their missed wedding anniversary either in fear of making Steve feel suffocated in their marriage. She didn’t want him to feel bad about himself.

       However, one day Y/N found herself bringing up the topic of not working missions as often as he did. Y/N didn’t expect the night to take the turn it did, but everything fell apart more after that night.

       Y/N only wanted what was best for their relationship, but Steve was far too blinded by duty to see her intentions. He was stubborn and he felt as though he owed the world his life. Like he was supposed to save every citizen in trouble.

       Y/N didn’t want him to stop. She just wanted him to take some time off for her, but it was those intentions that left her alone in their shared king-sized bed, sobbing over the fact that she was to blame for the situation she put them in. After that night, she swore to herself never to bring up missions to Steve anymore.

       The night after their argument, the pair found themselves drifting apart. Y/N felt as though she was living with the ghost; they shared a bed yet they never came in contact with each other. Y/N felt herself getting cold at night and longing for nothing but the feeling of her husband’s arms around her as he lulled her to sleep.

       When the government announced a country-wide state of lockdown, Y/N felt her heart break over again. This time, she would be forced to see Steve on a daily basis as a reminder of her failures as a wife. She wanted the pandemic to magically end, she didn’t’ want to be constantly reminded of her broken marriage she could never seem to bring herself to end.

       “Hey, Tony, do you think there’s a chance I can relocate even with this whole pandemic? I don’t think I could cope with having to stay here for the next few months,” Y/N overheard Steve talking into his phone. She sighed; of course, he wanted to leave the house just 12 hours after he was obligated to stay indoors with her.

       After that day, Y/N threw herself more and more into work just to actively avoid having to be in Steve’s presence. She even moved her things out their shared bedroom and into the guest bedroom down the hall, allowing Steve his own space.

       She followed through with her usual routines as though Steve wasn’t in the same house with her. She relied on security cameras to monitor whether or not the coast was clear of Steve and she could leave the room to grab a snack. Besides that, she rarely ever left the guest room.

       After two weeks of the same old routine, a horrid stench ran through the house. It was almost as though something was burning. The girl tore herself from her work desk and ran out the bedroom to see a thick cloud of gray smoke coming from the house’s kitchen which resulted in her coughing madly as the thick smoke invaded her lungs.

       “Damn it!” a familiar voice yelled out. Y/N ran into the kitchen, a cold red fire extinguisher in hand as she targeted the flames burning up on their stove, threatening to burn everything it came into contact with. When the substances found their way to each other, Y/N felt her lungs open up; she was finally able to breathe again.

       “What the fuck did you do to my kitchen!” the h/c-haired girl yelled in frustration upon seeing Steve standing over the stove covered in fire extinguisher fluid.

        “Your kitchen? I think you mean our kitchen,” Steve insisted, his brows furrowing at Y/N’s words.

        “No. You started a fucking kitchen fire; I think it’s fair you stay out of the kitchen! I was trying to get some fucking work done until your stupid antics had to get in the fucking way of that too!” the girl screamed at him, pulling at her h/c hair furiously.

       Of course, there was still a part of her that cared for Steve. How could she not? He was her husband. However, just like the cloud of smoke closed off her lungs, it also brought out her frustrations with the man. Could he at least be more considerate?

       “What the hell’s so important with your work, eh? Nothing you’ve done has been relevant to anything. Not since you left S.H.I.E.L.D without even letting me know!” Steve barked at the girl, the tone of his voice earning a flinch from the girl. They’ve had arguments, yes, but Steve never raised his voice at her like he was currently doing.

        “You know what? I’m glad I fucking left. I was so fucking happy I didn’t have to see your face as much as I already did at home, Rogers! Fuck you, asshole. You have no idea what I fucking went through before I had to leave my dream job,” the e/c-eyed girl scolded him before bolting out the kitchen and back to the guest room.

       The moment the door slammed behind her, she broke down in tears. Did he really tie her worth to what job she was doing? Did his views of her lessen the day she left S.H.I.E.L.D without warning? Did he really think everything she’d done after her time with S.H.I.E.L.D was irrelevant?

       She struggled to catch her breath as she let the salty tears fall down her cheek with her crumbling relationship with Steve Rogers weighing heavy on her chest as she sobbed.

       Steve stood outside her bedroom door, unable to find his words. He heard every sob wracking through her body. He so desperately wanted to tell her he was sorry and tell her everything was going to be okay. He wanted to whisper sweet nothings into her ear as he finally held her in his arms as he used to.

       Except he couldn’t. Not when he was the reason for her tears. He sat behind her door in regret. He felt how they drifted away yet he never made an effort to fix the bridge between them, only letting it wither and burn away slowly.

       His mind wandered to the night she asked him to stop taking long missions. “It’s for the sake of our relationship,” she’d told him then. But of course, the world needed him, didn’t they?

         The echoes of her words weighed heavy on his heart. She was right. That night changed everything. It was the first night they spent apart, but it was never the last. Not anymore.

       His knees gave out, letting him drop for the floor. He sighed, letting a lone tear run down his cheek knowing he made one of the biggest mistakes of his life.

       After that day, Y/N went on with her usual routine, only inn a more cautious manner especially when it came to her leaving the room to avoid Steve. She left the room less and less as the days went by, only leaving to bring bulks of food into her room to last her days until she made her next trip to the kitchen.

       Well, that had been her routine until she found the kitchen fridge and the pantry empty. She cursed herself out knowing it would be the first time she went grocery shopping since the government announced the lockdown.

       She threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt as she adjusted the mask on her face while reaching for the doorknob, only stopping when she heard the sound of Steve clearing his throat from behind her. She spun around and there he was in all his glory. Y/N didn’t know how it was possible, but he looked worse compared to when he saw her last. The bags under his eyes became more prominent as his cheeks looked sullen as though he hadn’t eaten in a while.

       But his eyes? They were a whole different story. The usually glowing blue orbs, filled with life, were dull and red as though he’d been bawling his eyes out for weeks.

       “What do you want?” she rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed at the man standing in front of her. He was silent for a moment then shifting awkwardly before finally speaking.

       “Where are you going, doll? You could get sick,” he spoke gingerly, his voice soft and holding no negative intent against her as he even flashed her a soft smile as he spoke.

       “Stop acting like you’re actually concerned for my health,” the girl frowned, shaking her head in denial as she was unable to accept seeing this side of her husband then having him taken away from her again. She didn’t want to deal with Steve or his façade.

       “I care about you, Y/N. You’re my wife. Even after everything that’s come between us, I could never stop caring for you,” he sighed approaching her slowly. He awkwardly cupped her cheek in his hands only to frown when she averted eye contact. He could see a lone tear forming in her eye and he frowned, wiping it away with his thumb.

       “I’m going to the grocery,” she deadpanned, pulling herself away from him before walking out the front door and slamming it behind her.

       Steve stood there dumbfounded, his eyes glossing over with tears as his mind replayed the scene of her pulling away from him and walking out the door. He knew he messed up. He knew he broke her.

       He was left alone for the first time in their home to wander around. He just found his way to your room—well, at least what once was the guest room—and he saw the framed picture on the nightstand. It was a picture of them both from their wedding day. He could remember how radiant and happy she looked that day. He would kill to see her like that again.

       A good two hours passed before he heard the sound of the door unlocking. He rushed to the living room to see his wife dragging in the groceries, looking weaker than she did when she left. It seemed as though she was sick.

       She dropped the bags of groceries onto the wooden planks of the floor as she broke out in a fit of heavy coughing. Steve rushed to her side, kneeling beside her.

       “Doll, you’ll be okay. Breathe, please,” Steve begged, holding her close to him. He knew he should’ve been keeping his distance from her considering the circumstances, but he hated seeing her suffer.

       She nodded as she gasped deeply for breath. Steve frowned at the state of struggle she was going through. He was confused. It was impossible for symptoms to be showing this early, right?

       Steve did what he knew the best thing was to do and he contacted Tony Stark. A few grueling seconds later, the billionaire answered the phone.

       “Stark, I think Y/N has the virus,” he spoke shakily into the phone as Y/N was slowly stabilizing her breathing pace.

        “When did she leave the house, Steve? You shouldn’t have let her leave! Not with her condition!” Tony rambled as Y/N’s lab accident struck his mind.

       “She left the house earli—wait what condition?” Steve panicked, only now being struck with the news of his wife’s condition.

       “Her immune system? It’s shit and it’s always been that way since the lab accident. Didn’t she tell you?” Tony questioned in shock, briefly explaining why Y/N shouldn’t have been allowed to leave the house in the first place.

       “She didn’t! What do I do now?” Steve spoke frantically to the phone in fear of losing his dear wife.

       “Take her to her lab. She has a regenerative chamber there and it should be enough to fight off the virus for now,” Tony commanded, confusing Steve.

       “She doesn’t have a lab!” Steve panicked as he already began to pick up his wife’s frail figure, finding somewhere to let her rest.

       “Check the basement! Hurry, please. I don’t want to lose my friend. I’ll be on my way,” Tony begged as Steve rushed to get Y/N into the basement, not even stopping in shock when he saw the state their basement was in. It looked like another S.H.I.E.L.D base just hidden beneath their home.

       Steve rushed her into a room which looked strikingly like her old S.H.I.E.L.D lab as he found the regeneration chamber Tony spoke of. He set her inside and let out a sigh of relief as he watched her breathing normalize as she flashed him a grateful smile.

       “I’m sorry, doll. After all this, we’ll fix everything between us. I can’t lose you,” he whispered, watching Y/N finally relax in the chamber as a breath of fresh air entered her lungs. He swore to himself to make it his personal mission to fix everything between them. He couldn’t lose her in any way.

[words-for-holland]

Quarantine Series: Breaking Friendships

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Exactly how much does Tom truly love Y/N to let her win at Uno?

A/N: Let me know if you want to be in the Taglist for TSOL or Quarantine Series!

Check the Rest: Burnt Out | A New Look | Secret Cuts & Kisses |

It was Day Who-The-Bloody-Hell-Knows in Quarantine at Holland Home, and this time our favorite household members decided to focus on their own activities except for one.

Tom and Harry were busy working on their script, while Y/N was catching up on the shows her friends were begging her to watch. As for his best friend Harrison, he was completely bored out of his mind that no amount of filming crazy instagram videos could suffice the boredom. That is until he suggested a simple yet deadly game that everyone could ply. A game that could break all friendships and relationship. A game that goes by the name UNO. 

“Come on lads, and lady lad. One game, just one game.” Harrison pleaded.

Tom, Harry, and Y/N, looked at him with concern. Sure the three of them understood how bored he was, but Uno always seemed like a game only younger kids would get into. Then again, they did spend the first few months in Quarantine playing jigsaw wars. With time the group reluctantly gave in and sat around the table. Tom was on the left, Harry was on the right, while Harrison sat directly across from Y/N. Harrison shuffled and split the cards, explaining the rules. “Okay, so the rules are simple but I wanted to make it more interesting. Every time you place a 0, everyone has to give their set of cards to the person on their left. If you place a 7, you can switch your deck with anyone. One more thing, if you have cards that say draw 2 or 4, you can pile them to avoid drawing cards. Got it?”

The group nodded in agreement, and soon the game has just begun. Y/N couldn’t remember the last time a game of UNO got this intense. Each time Tom was about to call Uno, Harry would beat him to it, making him reset his hand. “Damn it Harry! Really? You always do this to me!” Tom yelled out in frustration. 

Harry had his fair shares of frustration every time Y/N drew, she made him skip his turn. “Sorry Harry, but it was the only card I had.” She chuckled, placing down a yellow skip. 

“What did I ever do to you?!” Harry squealed. 

Harrison was crying in agony as he realized that his last two cards weren’t any yellow cards.”Heart of the cards. Heart of the cards.” He muttered as he pulled a card from the deck. Harrison sighed in relief as he placed down a Draw 2 for Tom, which Tom was able to avoid as he placed down a Draw 2 for Y/N. Y/N continued the Draw 2 streak, passing it on to Harry. Yet, Harry managed to pull out a Draw 2 from his hand. All four were screaming at how intense the game was getting, praying that none of them were going to be that person, who would have to draw 8 cards. Y/N more than anyone else, knowing her hand no longer contained a Draw 2. 

She looked at Tom as he looked into her eyes. "If you love me you won't pull out a Draw 2.” Y/N thought in her head. She tried her best to show off that adorkable smile that he loved so much, and couldn’t possibly say no to. Unfortunately when it came to games, Tom gets very competitive, but that didn’t mean he loved her any less. 

He flashed back his adorkable smile in return and spoke, “Y/N. You know how much I love and how much you mean to me right?” he said trying to hold in his laughter.

“Dont--” she warned him, knowing what he was gonna do.

“I love you so much!” he sang. 

“You’re gonna make me draw 10 aren’t you?!” Y/N squeaked. 

Tom rubbed her back and tried to comfort her. “No, darling. No...I’m gonna make you draw 12.” As he pulled out a Draw 4, Y/N’s mouth dropped to the floor. After being together all this time, this is how he treats her?! By making her Draw 12 cards?!

Y/N slowly got up and walked away from the table as she headed into their shared room to scream out the frustration. Harrison and Harry looked at Tom, surprised at what he had just did. “Um, I don't know about you, but if you wanna save yourself a fight and sleep on a bed. I think you should go out get her some Oreos and flowers or something.” Harry said, stifling a laugh. 

Tom nodded as he walked out calmly and ran for the kitchen and garden, while Harrison calmly put down his last card softly calling out “UNO?”. 

Tom grabbed the an unopened box of Oreos and picked up a single rose from the garden outside as suggested by his younger brother. He really hoped Y/N wasnt that mad at him. She had to know it was a joke right?

Of course it was all silly. Y/N was never the type to become a sore loser, even if Uno was the menacing demon that sought out to break all friendships and relationships.

“Darling.” He knocked on the door as he cautiously entered the room. “Are you okay?”

Y/N jumped up from the bed as she made her way to open the door. There, Tom was greeted with a much delighted version of his girlfriend, smiled and all. “Was wondering what took you so long.” She rolled her eyes playfully, pulling him into the room. “I missed you.” Y/N says as she leans into her boyfriend intaking his scent.

Tom wrapped his arms around Y/N as best he could, given with all the stuff he grabbed for her. “We were just together half an hour ago.” He chuckled into her hair, kissing the top of her head.

“Yeah but that was a half hour too long. Plus I missed having this alone time together.” Y/N explained as she reluctantly pulled away from his embrace. “Oh my god, Im an ass I didnt even realize you brought stuff up here.” She took the Oreos and the flower from his hands setting them on the side of the bed.

“It’s okay. Actually I brought them up because I wasn’t sure if you were upset from the game or not because I didnt let you win.” He laughed grabbing her hands.

“Of course I wasnt. It sucked to lose but to be honest I was kinda releived because I was able to come up here and just watch my show in peace.” Y/N looked back at the Oreos and flowers, then looked right into to Tom eyes. “But...if losing and being upset means getting all this and you...then yeah Im mad as hell.” She laughed.

“Oh yeah...how mad?” He said, smirking as he got closer.

“Extremely...Im furious.” She whispered, continuing to close the gap between them.

As Tom continued to lean in closer he paused for a moment. “You know if it really meant that much to you I would always lets you win.” He whispered back.

“I know. I’d do the same for you.”

“No you wouldnt.” He giggled at her.

“You’re right I probably wouldnt.” She spoke out before closing the gap between them. Feeling his lips against her own, melting away into their own bliss.

Taglist:

@stan-ish230403

[leannetalksanime]

Shōnen Anime Through The Feminist Lens

During quarantine, there has been a significant rise in the popularity of Anime; this wave of new fans brought back memories of when I first started exploring anime and how I came to love this media. Anime is a confusing word: In the western world, anime a separate genre of animated shows and movies from the typical western cartoons (ie. SpongeBob, Tom and Jerry, etc.) while in Japan, it refers to any animation in general. But for the sake of simplicity, I will refer to anime as a type of animated show or movie that uses signature aspects of Japanese-style animation.

Usually, a person is recommended mainstream shows from the shōnen genre when introduced to anime. Shōnen anime and manga are marketed towards boys between the ages of 12-18, but a lot of people outside of that demographic enjoy this genre as well. I find myself watching and recommending shōnen shows because of how exceptionally written the plot, the character development, and worldbuilding are. However, problems with female representation stem from the misconception that shōnen is only for boys or that girls don’t enjoy these types of stories. It is frustrating to see how little action and development female characters are given compared to their male counterparts and how often they are sexualized for the sake of comedic relief or fan service. 

NARUTO and NARUTO SHIPPUDEN

The Naruto series follows the journey of Naruto Uzumaki as he achieves his dreams to be acknowledged by the village he lives in and become the Hokage (the leader of the village). It’s a story about saving the world, protecting your loved ones, and believing in yourself.

Almost every person who has watched more than 3 years of anime has seen Naruto; those who haven’t still can recognize characters, references, and general plot points. Yes, it is THAT popular. I knew about the show but, I put off this anime for so long because of the silly reason that Naruto was an annoying brat at the beginning of the series. It took me a few months to build up my courage to pick up the series again— and wow! I was glad I did! I restarted my journey about two months ago and, as of today, I have less than 50 episodes left to watch to finish the series (keep in mind that the complete series has about 700 episodes). I got attached to the characters for their development and their compelling stories. I saw Naruto grow from being a troublemaker to a dependable hero, watched Sasuke go down a dark path for the sake of revenge, and learned about Kakashi and Itachi’s heartbreaking childhoods. But the girls? Where are the girls?

As well written as the story is, girls in Naruto are viewed as support-type characters for the boys; their stories aren’t touched upon and remain the same throughout the series. The lack of development of the girls is best highlighted by Sakura— the main female character and the most hated person from the series, and dare I say, all of anime. At the beginning of the series, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura train together to become ninjas with their teacher, Kakashi. Sasuke was a prodigy and excelled in every task, Sakura was known for her intelligence and chakra control, and Naruto lacked skill yet impulsively charged headfirst towards his enemies. As the show went on, Naruto and Sasuke’s skills have grown on par as they continuously try to learn new powers to one-up the other. But Sakura stayed the same. Even though she gained super strength and trained to become a medical ninja under the Fifth Hokage, her abilities and progress are constantly shadowed by her teammates' flashy powers (look at the picture above). This gap is even more prominent after the time skip in Shippuden where she becomes a “damsel in distress” which annoyed a lot of fans. She had so much potential to become a great character. Even if she was not the strongest ninja, the show could have taken steps to make her valuable in some way even if all they did was make her an efficient support character to Naruto and Sasuke instead of making her seem like she is always in their way. The unbalance caused by the lack of active female roles in Naruto leaves the female audience unrepresented. The female characters' underdevelopment implied that the girls are incompetent and therefore don’t get to make an impact in the story.  

ONE PIECE

I can talk about this show for hours. With 950+ anime episodes and 1000+ manga chapters, One Piece is synonymous with art; it follows the story of Monkey D. Luffy and his crew, the Straw Hat Pirates, on an adventure to find One Piece. Unlike other shōnen stories, One Piece immerses the audience into a mysterious world that is complex, dynamic, and feels real. Every single character is well developed— each of them have insanely detailed backstories, memorable personalities, and compelling motivations making them feel human. The story also tackles unconventional topics such as slavery, racism, the justice system, and classism. I could go on and on listing reasons as to why I love One Piece or why it is worth catching up to the 950 episodes, but I feel like you should let One Piece in and find that out for yourself. 

Unlike Naruto, women take on significant roles in One Piece and are often admired as role models. However, the lack of body diversity and the over-sexualization of the female characters leave a rather unpleasant aftertaste. 

As seen above, they all suffer the same-body syndrome— large breasts, impossibly tiny waists, and skimpy clothing. I get that these are common types of fanservice but, there are plenty of questionable design choices whenever fanservice is prioritized over logic (ie. the top-left girl is supposed to be a gladiator but her outfit does the very opposite of protecting her as it leaves her vital areas exposed). Another issue I have is with Sanji and his behaviour around women. He is the prime example of what the internet would call a ‘simp’ where his perverse tendencies and chivalry clash whenever he is near a female character. I feel like his overprotectiveness toward women and his willingness to die for them is counterintuitive to the powerful portrayal of women in the story. I understand that fanservice isn't going anywhere but the girls’ unrealistic designs and their treatment dilute their complex characterization to mere pretty and delicate objects.

CONCLUSION

From a feminist point of view, Naruto and One Piece have their own shortcomings when it comes to the inclusion and depiction of girls. I particularly chose to talk about them because they are the central faces of the shōnen genre, both of them depict common issues with female representation in most shōnen stories. It is understandable to a certain extent as to why the authors chose to draw/develop their characters, however, the lack of active female characters in shōnen stories fuels the ” shōnen is for boys, therefore, don’t expect female representation” narrative. It would do no harm to write stronger and more complex female characters in these stories, in fact, it would make the stories much more interesting as there is variation in perspectives and experiences— especially now because of the strong societal push toward feminism and the growing female audience consuming anime media. The fact that shounen does target boys is perhaps the most important reason to feature complex, active female characters in these stories—not only as supportive figures or dream girls, but as someone they can relate to and look up to as well.

EXTRA: NEW GENERATION SHŌNEN!

Naruto and One Piece have been in the anime scene for decades, but as societal values shift, many New Generation Shōnen are trying to tackle the inclusion of feminism in their stories. Here are some:

Boku no Hero Academia, one of the primary faces of New Gen Shōnen: A superheroes story where superpowers or quirks rule the world.  Physical advantages male characters may have during fights is insignificant as the winner is decided by their ability to use their power at its full potential and their compatibility with the opponent’s quirk. Women are shown to have different body types, breaking the skinny hourglass stereotype with healthy and muscular bodies. Read more on how BNHA is breaking the moulds here: https://www.animefeminist.com/feature-hero-academia-confronts-shonen-sexism/ 

Mob Psycho 100: A supernatural shōnen where the main character, Mob, struggles with masculinity, battles for self-improvement, and desires to just be an amiable and helpful person. His story breaks the typical toxic masculinity tropes in shonen stories and instead focuses on Mob’s emotional journey to being comfortable with who he is. Read more about this here: https://www.animefeminist.com/anime-feminists-top-25-anime-of-the-decade/

Demon Slayer, another progressive main face of the New Gen Shōnen: A historical supernatural story where women are given major roles and are never looked down upon by their male counterparts. As demon slayers, their attire is unique to each individual yet fit for their job and is not compromised for the sake of fanservice.

- Leanne.

[capricornus-rex]

A Shadow of What You Used to Be (12)

Chapter 12: Fitting Into The Mould | Cal Kestis x Irele Skywalker

Requested by Anon

Summary: There is another! Years after young Anakin Skywalker departed Tatooine, his mother Shmi delivers a second child—this time, a daughter. Whilst the circumstance of the girl’s birth remains unexplained, Irele Skywalker has yet to choose the true path between those laid out for her.

Tags: Fem! OC, Irele Skywalker, Force-sensitive! OC, Anakin’s Younger Sister, Skywalker! OC, Darth Vader’s Secret Apprentice, Long-lost Sibling

A/N: I am so sorry for the delays. A lot of things have taken toll of me. One of which is learning that one of my coworkers is positive with COVID and I just happen to be one of the few people he was with the day before he stopped going to work. So I am required to go into home quarantine, only went out once to do my testing but I haven’t gotten my results yet in the past 5 days which made me extra anxious, and my time out of work will not be paid even though it’s considered “Official Business” as per my company’s COVID policy. But so far, I’ve been fine, which is good. Then my PS4 is on the brink of death just when I started playing Ghost of Tsushima for the first time, but most of the people in my forums say it just needs a deep clean but I’m too scared to take it apart because I’ve never done that. I didn’t want to write while my head’s muddled with these thoughts, but only now did the anxiety subside. I hope you guys understand. I figured the story’s quality will go bad while I have such thoughts and feelings.

Requesting to be tagged: @heavenly1927​

Also in AO3

Chapters: Prelude – 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 | Previous: Part 11 | Next: Part 13 | Masterlist

13 of ?

Irele had a kinder three weeks in Anathema than her first week in the Fortress.

As soon as her first day started, she’s required to march her way to the training dojo—to which she got lost in finding, no thanks to the crew working in this metal maze. She’s already feeling her breakfast burning in her stomach after jogging to the dojo, after so many failed attempts and subtle peeking over doors that are ajar, and saved herself from a first-day scolding at the expense of a slight stomach cramp.

Smoke plumed and framed along the walls, colored in blood-orange as the hydraulics and power coolants flowed and hissed underneath the grated floor. At the center of the room, a lone trooper—clad in the same, onyx black armor like the previous ones she saw—stood, with a weapon at the ready; his visage standing in the heart of the dojo gave off an intimidating air around him, as if untouchable, invincible.

Unwelcoming and strict, the instructor obviously to spend every minute wisely.

“Grab a weapon.”

Irele had noticed a rack at the far end of the room; picking up his mood from the moment she saw him, she briskly walked to the weapons rack, troubled herself for a minute on what to use, took a gulp and a breath before snatching the javelin.

She kept her eyes on her faceless teacher while she walked towards him, but her hands searched for the activation switch. The weapon crackled to life, purple lightning glowed Irele’s fair, small face, and she gazed at the cracks of light dancing at the end of the lance.

“Now…” the trooper poised himself in a defensive stance, after showing off a spin with his twin batons. “We begin.”

Irele is no brawler. The only time she ever fought someone or something was a Massiff that had been loosed by its Tusken Raider owner, probably sent out to find and hunt down prey—and that was two years ago, she had shuffled her way out of that situation with a scraped forearm.

Of course, her attacks are flimsy and somewhat limp-looking to the instructor—who had been training a lifetime for combat. The trooper would retaliate with a heavier strike, tenfold from Irele’s power, and would reset his stance for another attack; whereas Irele would still be finding her footing after she’d been staggered.

“This is pathetic!” barked the trooper, relaxing his posture and twirls the left baton. “Put some back into it!”

The poor girl cannot talk back, no matter how much she wanted to. For every time she was staggered or pushed back, she could only coerce herself to poise into a somewhat satisfactory attack stance and get another shot—only to be denied.

This entire session felt like hours on end. Irele could barely notice any progress in herself, except the frustration, disappointment, and boredom all mixing together within the trooper as this day goes on. Whenever he was not satisfied, he would berate the girl—to which he thought would negatively motivate her to attack him more strongly.

Meanwhile, in the confinements of his chamber, Darth Vader watches over Irele’s performance virtually and in real-time. Hidden cameras were all over the dojo, and every feed was relayed to the Vader in his chamber. Screens panned across the half of the circular shell, he could see Irele versus the trooper exchange blows, although he kept his eyes on the girl—his young ward.

He could have sworn he feels something in her. At this time, Irele was beginning to grow exhausted and eager to finish this—she just doesn’t know how to.

“Come on, little girl, put some back into it!” her instructor growled. “I could’ve done better things than  this today!”

Thinking that he can just get this over with by defeating her in the spar, call it a day, and pick up where they’ve left off tomorrow—he charges at the girl who was still gaining her bearings after feeling the weight of the exhaustion get the best of her. At this time, Vader’s eyes remained on the girl, and secretly, he hoped something would come up.

Blinded by his lax arrogance, the trooper rushed towards Irele and raised his arms—both batons at the ready—and sprung up from the floor. Just when he thought he had landed a hit on the girl’s ribcage, Irele blocked it with her javelin at the very last minute.

Finally! The satisfaction of receiving the first step to a seemingly successful attack pattern flooded the girl with a newfound vigor. Irele pushed back the trooper while javelin and batons were still in contact with each other; little by little, her footwork was gradually becoming better, not by a lot, but it was preferable than her stumbling stupor a while ago, there was balance and there was pacing. Clearly, her strikes were not as strong as the instructor had hoped, but they were getting somewhere and that’s enough.

“Your strikes still need work!”

“Don’t…! You…! Just…! Ever…! SHUT UP!?”

For every word Irele roared, a strike would follow.

Her attacks were nothing flashy, she was only using what she knows from Tatooine—one of the few fragment of her past life still clinging into her…

And now it’s being weaponized.

Vader shuffled slightly where he sits. The anger in Irele’s voice and words found their way through his thick hide of an armor—albeit virtually—the emotion was wholly familiar to him.

Anger.

Hate.

It’s something he knows well.

Perhaps too well.

He didn’t wait for the training to finish, he’s watched enough he thinks. With the touch of a button, the screens fold back into their metal hatches within the shell of the chamber; another prompted his seat to swivel so he faces the opening. He steps onto a black circular base, a white ring of light hums alive the moment his boot stepped on it and shifted all his weight on it as he positions himself kneeling.

A bust of his master buzzes into life, shrouded in black was a rather pale face, even in the blue rendition of the hologram, one could tell that his color was sickly and white-as-bone.

“Master…” Vader greeted.

The Emperor did not linger into the niceties. He had sensed that Vader was about to give word of his ward’s progress.

“Her training has begun then.”

“Yes, my master.”

“Her anger… she weaponizes them,” observed Palpatine. He slighted his head back. “I can feel it. Truly strong she is with the dark side of the Force.”

“It is a nature that she cannot seem to outgrow.”

“Good,” croaked the Emperor. “The kin of Skywalker will have no trace of virtue but the Sith!”

“And she will be our asset, my lord.”

[demivampirew]

Keep Calm and go to London chapter 18

The story is about Henry, not Geralt (only using this gif because it fits perfectly for this chapter)

Synopsis: This is the story of (y/n), a successful actress,  musician, musical producer and songwriter. After battling depression and  breaking up a long relationship, she seeks for a change of air,  escaping LA for a while going to visit some friends in London and there  she meets Henry. -Disclaimer: some chapters are mostly smut.

Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5 (smut)

Chapter 6

Chapter 7 (smut)

Chapter 8 (smut/roleplay)

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12 (smut)

Chapter 13

Chapter 14 (smut)

Chapter 15

Chapter 16 (smut/ s&m) Chapter 17

Triggers:   Smut (I know, too much smut chapters 😁 😂 🤣 , but this chapter needed to have smut, you’ll see why 😜 ); mention of rape, sex trafficking and panic attacks (while talking about a movie; only mention those words, not describing anything them in any way)

Tag list:  Here’s the incredible people who showed me support (thank  you    so  much for that) and people who asked me to tag them too  ☺️   (I    think  I will write a few chapters of this story, if you want me to  tag     you, tell me ☺️   ) @cavillanche @mary-ann84 @henry-owns-these-tatas @yespolkadotkitty @dancingwendigo   constip8merm8     penwieldingdreamer iloveyouyen  littlefreya  wondersofdreaming    alyxkbrl solariumss  sweetybuzz25 @thethirstyarchive @agniavateira   @honeyloverogers @hell1129-blog   @lunedelorient​  @michelle-1185​  

During quarantine, Henry spend lots of time cooking delicious meals, bread and desserts for the two of you. He pretended not to be good, but low key you knew that he wanted compliments because his food was freaking fantastic and you were sure he knew that already. He was in the kitchen preparing cookies for you an afternoon snack. Meanwhile, you entertained him dancing around, there were some real dance moves there, but mostly silly things that you did intend to make him laugh. Lizzo's "Juice", Nicky Minaj's "Anaconda", Rihanna's "Bitch better have my money", Bruno Mars's "24K Magic" were some of the songs you choose to perform for him. You closed your little show with N*Sync's "Bye bye bye" which make him laughed so hard that Kal barked at him. He mentioned that in his youth he made a movie with Joey Fatone and you were green with envy because you used to be a N*Sync fangirl when you were little. - What was he like? - you asked - Oh, he's great! Cool guy. If I ever cross paths with him again, I'll invite him to hang out so you can meet him too. - he replied - Oh yeah, baby. That'd be a childhood dream come true. - Have you ever meet one of your idols? - he questioned curiously - Hmm... yeah, I met Slash, he's now a friend of mine. He gave me guitar lessons. - You learned to play the guitar with Slash from Guns n' Roses? - he repeated your words as a question due to the surprise revelation - No. I was already pretty good. He gave me lessons on how to improve my guitar solos. It was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! I've learnt so much with him and improved drastically my habilities. - you explained - I've also met Duff and he is cool too. I met Nikolaj Coster-Waldau from Game of Thrones, he's one of the sweetest people I've ever met. I met my now friend Annie (Hathaway), which you must already know because we worked together in my first acting role and she is a mentor, she truly helped me a lot to become a good actress. - you paused, thinking and after a few moments continued.- I've met Robert De Niro, he played my dad in the movie that you didn't see - previously you have had a conversation in which he confessed to having seen three on the four movies that you made in your short but successful career as an actress. You advised him not to watch the movie, because you played a woman caught in sex trafficking and there were a lot of rape scenes and you thought he may be affected to see you like that, even you had panic attacks after filming that movie and never watched again after the premiere. You couldn't even see Cillian Murphy anymore, another co-star in that movie, because he was the villain and there was a much graphic scene in which his character raped yours. "Only the twisted mind of Darren Aronofsky could come with a story dark as that one," you told Henry laughing because you liked the director, he was a good man, but with a weird taste for disaster and dark psychology-.  You talked about meeting people that you admire and he mentioned Russell Crowe, Tom Cruise and Guy Ritchie, among others. As you predicted, the cookies were delicious. Your boyfriend was, definitely, the perfect man. Not only he was the sweetest, you two never fought, but he was also an amazing lover - he even made out a rule that you that to tell him if you didn't have an orgasm (or wanted more) so he could take care of that because those moments were made so both of you could have a great time and not just him. And, on top of all of that, he cooked for you amazing dishes and desserts. He was the definition of perfection. - Someday you're going to get tired of cooking for me and that'd be my doom. - you pointed out as you ate the tasteful cookies. - Not at all. I'll never get tired of cooking for the woman I love. - he assured you smiling. You chocked with the cooking you were eating and recover a few seconds later and starred at his face with an expression of full shock in yours. - What did you say? - you demanded him to repeat his words - What? I've said that I love cooking for the woman I love.- he repeated without understanding what was wrong with his words. - "The woman you love"? Do you love me? -you asked astonished - Absolutely.- he admitted with a smile on his face- I've been in love with you practically since the time I asked you to be my girlfriend, I just thought that you were going to think I was crazy and was too soon for saying the L word. - I felt the same way. I wanted you to be the first to say it. -you confessed him. - So, we are in love with eachother.- he confirmed with happiness written on his face; the kind of happiness that a child would experience on Christmas day if he/she received exactly what was expecting. You stood up from the table and run into his arms, as he embraced you for your first kiss after knowing that you were in love. Hours later, Henry was back again in the kitchen. This time he was planning to prepare dinner for him since you told him the cookies made you feel full and you didn't want to eat anything else for the day. He was preparing everything that he needed, when you showed up in the kitchen wearing nothing but translucid bran with pastel green colour and white flowers on it. The bra was delicate and made your breasts look amazing. You also wear a white thong and white stockings and stiletto heels pumps. You left Henry speechless. You got closer to him, put your arms around his neck a started to kiss him. You could feel his hands sliding through your back reaching your ass and grabbing it. That made you laughed and he joined you. You looked at his eyes and suggested him to take things to bed. You indicated that you couldn't wait anymore to properly celebrate the fact that you loved each other. He picked you up, holding you by your thighs and walked to the bedroom. He left you on the bed as he turned to close the door and took his clothes off. He got on the bed and then slowly slid your thong and then throw it away. Grabbing you by your thighs, he began to pleasure you with his mouth. He loved to stroke your clit with his tongue, grabbing it and sucking it as well. He could do that for long periods. You were used to him putting his fingers inside your underwear and make you cum over and over. He'd do that at least three or four times per week -without counting that you had sex every single night and some mornings as well. He always wanted to take you and satisfy his desires but also wanted to make you happy. He couldn't get enough of you, and the feeling was mutual. You could feel him tasting you, after several orgasms, you were dripping wet. He climbed on top of you and kissed you, grabbing your lips with his. He grabbed a condom from the nightstand and after putting it on, he put his member inside of you, making you burned inside. It felt so good. He would go from slow movements to really fast pound. He had both of his hands on the mattress and your's were on his neck. He would separate his mouth from yours from time to time only to be able to kiss your neck and breasts. He knew how much you needed the touch of his sweet lips on yours; to feel his tongue dancing inside your mouth. You put your arms on his back and dug your fingers on his back, followed by your nails scratching his back. That made him insane. He had shaved two days before that moment, but his beard started to grow again. He also left he moustache to grow. It was still on its early stages, but still made you tingle and it felt so amazing, especially when he was with his head between your legs. He made you stood up from the bed and then grabbed you by your thighs once more, as you entwined your arms around his neck and he started to thrust you. Your body was on flames. The fact that he was strong enough to fuck you while holding you amazed you. For moments, you would free one of your hands just to stroke his arm, as his muscles tense. He sat on the edge of the bed and continued to pound you, buried himself inside of you deeper and deeper each time. You pushed his back against the mattress, kissed him with burning passion and then started to ride him, placing your hands on his majestic hairy chest. Then, you enlaced your hands with his while you continue to move up and down his cock. He pulled your hands into his lips, kissing both of them, one at the time. You put your chest against his and whispered on his ear "You're mine, baby. You're mine and I'm yours", he looked into your eyes. Just as he thought he couldn't want you more, you told him everything he wanted to hear, that you were his. He remembered at that moment that if he wasn't for your ex, he'd been the only man you have been with. That thought made him feel both jealous and lucky at the same time. Another man had you before him, but he intended to be the only man you'll be with for the rest of his life. You were his. He wasn't the kind of man that would treat you as an object, as something that could belong to him, but you were his woman, he loved you and would make sure that you'll want him forever over anybody else because he could not stand the idea of losing you. You were his angel and he would love you and protect you and hopefully make you as happy as you made him. Life with you was a paradise. You woke up due to the need to drink some water. You had your head pressed against Henry's chest. You had sex until the sunrise. You felt so tired after that amazing night. You checked your phone to see the time and to your surprise, it was midday. You got up and decided to prepare lunch for the two of you. You starred at him for a moment before leaving the bedroom. Seeing him sleep so peaceful felt like a warm hug. You were so lucky. He was amazing and he loved you as much as you loved him.

[theycallmebecca]

How fun!! How about 5 ."…Why are your hands purple?"with Frank please?

Mornin’ y’all. Thought I’d get this posted before I signed into work for the day. Enjoy!

Title: Purple Nail Polish

Pairing: Frank Adler x reader

Rating: PG

Prompt: #5 - “…Why are your hands purple?”

Warnings: n/a

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

Because of how tumblr can be silly about links, I will reblog this post with links to the masterlist and the prompt list.

The house rattled as Frank “closed” the door after coming inside from the garage. You rolled your eyes while Mary sat next to you giggling.

“There are my two favorite ladies,” your husband greeted as he came into the kitchen where you and Mary were sitting at the table. He leaned down to give you a kiss and then kissed the top of Mary’s head.

Righting himself, Frank looked at the table and the scattered nail polish then at Mary’s fingers. “…why are your hands purple?” he asked, half seriously.

“Dad,” Mary sighed, dramatically. “My hands aren’t purple, my nails are.”

“Sorry, my mistake,” Frank replied with a grin. “But why?”

“Abby’s party is tonight,” Mary replied, looking up at the clock. “It starts in ten minutes! I need to go get ready.”

“She knows it’s a zoom party, right?” Frank asked as he sank down in the chair.

“Of course she does,” you replied as you put your nail polish stuff away.

“She wasn’t sassy before you came into the picture,” Frank stated in an off hand sort of way.

“And you were a monk?” you replied in the exact same tone, returning his untrue fact with one of your own.

“Ok, so maybe she was already a little sassy,” he amended with a grin.

You’d met Frank three years ago, shortly after he had legally adopted Mary. The two of you had married a year later and Mary had quickly taken to calling the two of you mom and dad. 

“Girls these days will dress up for anything,” Frank said shaking his head. “I have a student in one of my lectures that always dresses up like she’s going out on the town for a 10 am zoom class.”

“She’s not dressing up for the lecture, professor,” you said in a knowing tone as you stood up. “She’s either trying to impress you or one of her classmates.”

While you let Frank process that loaded statement, you put the nail polish bin in the closet in the hallway.

“Maybe, she is,” Frank said, reflectively, as you came back into the kitchen. “But what’s Mary’s excuse? These are the girls she has sleepovers with, right?”

“Yes, but there will be boys in the chat too,” you told him.

“Boys?!” Frank exclaimed, his head jerking up to look at you. “Why will there be boys? She’s only 11, she’s too young to talk to boys.”

“She’s almost 12,” you reminded him as you pushed him back into his chair when he started to get up. You had to fight back the urge to laugh at his expense. “Relax. I’ve already checked with Abby’s parents, they’ll be in the group chat and they’re monitoring it closely and will shut it down if it gets out of hand.”

Frank didn’t look convinced.

“Abby’s mom works in IT at the university,” you reminded him. “There’s no way those kids know more than she does about computers.” You slid your arms around his neck from behind. “Besides, the boys are only allowed to be part of the chat for an hour tops. Then the girls are going to be watching a movie together via another group chat. No boys allowed.” You kissed his cheek. “Do you know what that means?”

“No, what?” he asked, his brain still seemingly stuck in worried dad mode.

“It means the two of us have the rest of the night to ourselves,” you replied, letting your fingers toy with the collar of his shirt. “We’ve already had dinner and she took her movie snacks up to her room earlier. She won’t need us at all.”

“It’s been a long time since we’ve had a night to ourselves,” Frank stated. “Quarantine has been rough for that.”

“Exactly,” you said, stepping back. “Why don’t you lock up the house for the night and then come join me in our room. I put snacks for us in there earlier, too.”

Locking up the house only took a minute and Frank paused at the bottom of the stairs and looked up towards where Mary’s room was.

“Boys,” he muttered under his breath. “I’m not ready for that stage of life yet.”

Then he made his way to the private suite he shared with you, locking the door behind him.

[cinesias]

You thought I was gonna make another playlist didn’t ya? Well I’m not making another playlist because a year of being with you taught me many things but most prominently that you hate my music lol

So I’m making something else to celebrate the you this time. Granted it’s still another thing you hate about me, a list of 12 films for the 12 glorious months I spent with you.

________________________________

12 Films

For 12 Months.

________________________________

Part 1:

________________________________

March 25th, 2020

About Time (2013)

6 hours.

2020 was such a crazy year and early on in it I realized I had feelings for someone, someone so special and someone so incredible. At that time I admired you so much, I liked you a lot and I knew I did yet didn’t know how to tell you. I talked to you every single day, you have been an instrumental part of my day for a long long time and I knew that my day wouldn’t be complete without you, without you talking to me, without you being there for me through thick and thin, without you telling me about your day and asking me about mine. Back then I knew I felt this way for you I felt like I wouldn’t want to spend another day without you. So one evening, around 5pm, on the fated day of March 25th, 2020, you confessed to me. You told me how you felt, and it looked like this:

“Aziz, We have a problem, I like you, we won’t talk about this” then proceeded to do this:

You said it quick, then changed the topic almost as quickly as you said it. I on the other hand, in my head was freaking out:

“THE WOMAN OF MY LITERAL DREAMS AND FANTASIES JUST CONFESSED TO ME”

“THE WOMAN I’VE HAD MY EYES AND HEART ON FOR A COUPLE MONTHS NOW JUST SAID IT”

“THE WOMAN I LIKED FOR A LONG TIME NOW TOLD ME THAT SHE FEELS ABOUT ME LIKE I FELT ABOUT HER”

My whole day I pondered, why didn’t I tell you right then and there that “Ma’am, we have another problem, I like you too” I sat there thinking I’m stupid for not saying it right away, for 6 hours. 6 very tense hours you waited. And my stupid ass waited too, as if the words were just gonna come out on their own. So we called that night and I just came out with it.

“Remember when you said you liked me earlier today?”

“Yes?”

“Well we have another problem, I like you too”

“...6 hours aziz. 6 fucking hours...”

That part I remember well, because you snapped at me, for making you wait those 6 hours and I’m so sorry for that, I’m so sorry for those 6 hours and not letting out my feelings on time. I hope I made it up for you in the past 12 months and yes I know you’ll never forget it lol.

But it was about time I came out with it,

about time I told you how I felt and about time I became yours.

This film is about a guy who has the ability to go back in time, but rather than using it to get rich or get famous. He uses it to go back for a moment that he waited, waited an entire summer to tell a girl he liked how he felt before she left. He went back to tell her sooner. I wish I had his ability to go back and tell you sooner, 6 hours from our relationship lost, I wish I had them back because the amount of love I have for you.. I cannot waste a single moment not being around you, though I only waited 6 hours I want those 6 hours back with you.. I cannot stand a minute without you. I love you so damn much it’s giving me entirely new emotions that I’ve never felt before. You’re something else.

________________________________

April 25th, 2020

In The Mood for Love (2000)

This film is an intense exploration into the feeling and emotion of love. It’s a tense film and the way it presents itself, it’s like love is its’ own character in this film. As we dated, in the harsh year of 2020, as quarantine kept us apart yet so close together. New feelings arose in me, feelings I’ve never had for anyone, feelings I’ve never felt before. I genuinely fell for you, I felt so strongly about you that a whole slew of new emotions arose as well, the first of which is the feeling of being utterly flustered whenever you sent a pic with a bit of exposé. The feeling of being completely yours without any shadow of a doubt, the feeling of having someone so utterly magnificent that I couldn’t put it into proper words just how I felt about you. You’re a force of nature and I fell for you like a leaf falls to the ground on a autumn day.

You cannot imagine the feelings of utter euphoria when you told me you felt the same way. Love was a scary thing at the start but goddamn the way I love you I’ve never loved anything in my life. The way I want you I’ve never wanted anything in my life. The way I cannot help but to stare at you an feel a certain way, just looking at you gives me warmth. Let alone kissing you, that just tantalizes my entire body. I adore you.

________________________________

May 25th, 2020

365 Days (2020)

Yep, I picked this film, I cannot believe I did. But I did. Because this film is so chaotic and May was an incredibly chaotic month. In May I saw you almost every single day, I came outside and you say in my car as we made out and had a good time, holding you in my arms is like a drug to me. I cannot get enough of it and I cannot for the life of me handle not holding you when you’re around. It’s hard to look at you from a distance and not imagine you between my arms and laying on my chest. It’s hard not to hold you incredibly tight when I have you there and harder even to not feel the warmth that you give, you literally warm up my body (yes i do realize that I heat up like an Italian pizza oven) and make me feel incredibly safe in your arms. I cannot get enough of your embrace.

And yes I do realize that I recreated one scene from this goofy film one time but damn ma’am. The way you make me feel is incredible and I really hope I make you feel the same way.

_______________________________

June 25th, 2020

High Fidelity (2000)

Okay so I’m kinda cheating with this one. It’s one of my favourite films but also has my favourite soundtrack of any film. I love all the songs in this film. But I’m not including it here because of the music. I’m including it here because its a film about a man who’s an asshole who traces back his relationships and learns to get over his past and deal with his current self. It’s a fun film and I include it here because you baby took me on that same ride. You taught me so much and one of the biggest things you helped me with is dealing with my stupid self. You taught me how to think about things from a completely different angle and showed me methods I’ve never thought of. You’ve taught me so much and pushed me to the right ends of emotional maturity.

There’s a song in this film that always comes to mind when I’m thinking of you.

(Always see your face by Love)

In my head, along with Nothing Compares To You by Sinead O’ Connor, this is your song in my head. I will owe you forever for the experience you gave me.

______________________________

End of Part 1

[anogete]

In Between

Hi, folks.  I’m sorry I have nothing to offer as far as fic goes.  Things have been... ::sigh::  You know, I don’t know what things have been.  Not good, not bad.  Just... things.  I wanted to talk--get things out of my head--this morning, but I realized I don’t have a person/outlet who can accept these things right now.  So, I will put them here for anyone who cares to read them.

1) My car blew up.  Well, the engine did.  I was on my way back home with groceries last Saturday, and I lost all ability to accelerate and brake.  So, I puttered out on the side of the road and waited to be saved.  The issue may be covered under the warranty so I had it taken to the dealership.  They’ve had it for a week and still don’t have answers for me besides an offer to lend me a car for free until they can figure out what to do with my car.

2) This deserves it’s own point, though I almost included it on the first point.  I’ve never bought a car without my grandmother.  She was under five feet tall and had a tendency to wear sweat pants and Christmas sweaters year-round.  She smoked Winston Lights and carried a purse covered in rhinestones.  The car salesmen didn’t know what hit them because she wasn’t at all the sweet old lady who would roll over and accept their first offer.  She was hard to read and she wouldn’t give an inch.  She also wouldn’t tell them what she was willing to pay.  No counter offers from her; she’d just tell you to “do better.”  Anyway, she worked her magic when I bought all three of my cars.  When I realized the problem with the engine was serious and might require me getting a new car, I went into a mental tailspin.  Yeah, yeah, I was worried about fitting it into my budget and all that, but mostly I couldn’t seem to cope with buying a car on my own without my grandma there to hold my hand.  I’m almost 39 years old and the thought of doing this without her had me sobbing in the floor.  Except, I didn’t realize my tailspin was due to my grandmother at first.  At first, I just thought I was incapable of handling stress.  Maybe that’s still accurate.

3) While we’re talking about expensive-ass shit, I knew the air conditioner and furnace on this house needed to be replaced sooner rather than later when I bought it last February.  It looks like the time has come.  I managed to find a nice man with very odd hair (think a longer version of the Prince Valiant hair-do, but bright white) through my boyfriend’s dad.  He does this for a living and said he’d give me a discount and do for $5,000 what other places were telling me would cost $9,000.  So, that’s happening next week.  I have the money, but the idea of writing a $5,000 check makes me want to puke.  Ugh.

4) The days are running together.  I’m working from home.  I can’t complain, though.  I’ve got it better than most.  I’m alone all day.  I have a library with a desk.  I can go downstairs and make tea or lunch in my own kitchen.  I’m getting paid my full salary with bonuses.  I can pretty much make my own hours.  The company I work for is taking the pandemic seriously and has told us that we can all work from home until we feel comfortable returning to the office.  Their timeline for “normal” is months.  I don’t think I’ll be back in the office until late summer, if that.  Those who want to return are permitted to, but they can’t use the public areas (kitchen, conference rooms) and have to abide by some strict safety requirements.  And they can choose when and how often they go into the office, working the remainder of the time at home.  So, better than most.

5) I’ve been doing this social distancing thing since March 19th.  It’s not difficult for me.  On good days I’ll exercise (I have a Peloton) before logging into work around 9am.  On not-good days (which seem to be more often than not), I’ll skip the exercise and just log into work early.  Work keeps me busy and I spend a decent amount of my day on the phone with clients.  I go to the grocery store once a week, but I order for pickup.  Someone else does the shopping for me and loads it into my trunk.  This is nothing new.  I’ve been shopping that way for years.  Now it’s just harder to get my usual pickup slot because everyone else has joined the party.  I do miss taking a break from work and leaving my office to grab a coffee and sit outside on a bench downtown.  I guess I could do that outside my own house, but it just doesn’t feel the same.

6) A few months ago, a husband and wife who are clients came in to meet with me at my office.  They’re in their 80s and both were having trouble walking.  They parked in the garage next door and couldn’t find the elevator to exit.  I walked over and escorted them to our office building.  They were both struggling with walking and the wife (Rose) had been fighting lung cancer for a couple years, so I suggested they wait outside and I’d valet their car once we were done.  The thought of making the trek to their car alone was painful to me because it was a monumental struggle for them to walk down a hallway.  Their daughter-in-law called me two days ago.  Rose passed away two weeks ago.  The husband, a former literature professor for a university, was in the hospital with four broken ribs because he’d fallen shortly after Rose’s passing.  He was a Jewish child in Nazi Germany during the war.  He’d told me stories about hiding from the Nazis, surviving off of tree bark and whatever he could find in the forests.  He also jokingly told me that he’d live until he was 120.  Now, it looks like he won’t survive the year.  He and Rose would tease each other all the time, but you could see all that love between them. Whenever I’d call him, he’d ask me in that wonderful accent to wait while he got “the boss” on the phone as well.  Rose thought it was silly that she was “the boss,” but she humored him.  You know, they’re shorties, too.  Five foot, nothing.  Just like my grandma.  Hearing that Rose was gone and Dr. (he’s a PhD) was likely soon to follow just broke my already fragile heart.

7) Fragile heart, huh?  Yeah.  After the car situation and the realization that one day I’m going to have to do big life things without having my grandma to help me, I was feeling pretty raw.  But I’ve been trying to be responsible and do things I’ve been putting off lately.  So, I gathered up all those medical bills from Ferguson’s illness last September.  (Ferguson was my soulmate little chihuahua mix that I had for over 13 years.)  I had pet insurance on him and hadn’t bothered to make the claim because I couldn’t handle it.  But it’s been almost a year so I pulled out the invoices, which were over $2,000, and logged into the website and starting inputting the info to file the claims.  The little box asks for a description of why I took him to the vet.  And answering that question just brought back all that shit like a wave.  I remember reading this nice description of grief and how it is like waves.  At first they’re big and they knock you around and you can’t breathe.  But over time they get smaller and you learn how to navigate them.  Still there, but manageable.  Filling in that box resulted in a bit of a tidal wave that knocked me on my ass.  My boyfriend came home to find me sobbing at my desk like a lunatic..  He’s... not so good with emotional shit.  And I usually keep it bottled up so that no one knows what’s going on inside me.  But some days...  Some days it just overflows.  So, after confirming that nothing terrible had occurred and that I was reliving September 2019, he slowly backed out of the room to leave me with my grief-wave.

8) I want to be one of those succulent people.  You know, the ones who have succulents lining their windowsills.  The dining room and kitchen windows are full of this oddball little plants.  The boyfriend hates it, but I told him he’d have to deal.  I’ll die on this hill.  I’m a succulent lady.

9) I’ve been reading memoirs or, rather, memoirs through collections of essays.  I don’t know if it’s the mental state I’m in or if social distancing has got me subconsciously reaching out for life beyond my head, but I can’t seem to read much else.  I loved Liz Phair’s Horror Stories.  I’m reading The Book of Help by Megan Griswold right now.  I’m determined to procure a signed copy of What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Blacker by Damon Young.  He did a virtual event for a local bookseller recently and they have signed copies available for purchase.  I just need to muster up the will to call them and ask them to hold one for me.  The little snippets of their life and experiences via these memoirs through essays bring me some measure of comfort.

10) I tried to watch Euphoria on HBO.  I managed to make it through the first episode, but I don’t think I can watch more.  I can’t relate, but that normally isn’t a necessity for an enjoyable story.  Maybe it’s just too depressing for me right now.

11) I binged Dollface on Hulu and wish I had more to watch.  Parts of it hit me hard.  I’ve always had trouble maintaining friendships, period.  But maintaining friendships while in a relationship has been damn near impossible for me.  Just like Jules.  Except, I’m not nearly as cool or gorgeous as Kat Dennings.  And I have no friends in this city to go back to.  Just friends at work. 

12) I haven’t worn makeup for 2 solid months.  I’m starting to miss it.  I found old selfies I’d taken in which I don’t recognize myself.  Did I ever look like that?  I must have since here is photographic evidence.  I look like shit now.  I’m forever in yoga pants and a hoodie with half-wet hair from the shower.  Maybe putting on a pair of jeans and a cute shirt and some makeup will make me feel like a human being again.  Maybe I’m not doing as well as I thought in quarantine.  Huh.

13) I hope you all are well.  If you’ve sent me a message, I’m so sorry for not responding.  My mental state has been delicate lately and the silence from me has nothing to do with your kind words.  I promise I read and treasure and appreciate anything that is sent to me.  I’m also sorry for having no offering of fic or a promise of something to come.  I haven’t written since last summer.  It’s been almost a year.  I guess I’m in a dry spell.

14) Since I’ve been struggling with loss/grief lately, I’ll leave you with a quote from Philip Pullman, taken from his novel The Amber Spyglass.  It’s about death, I suppose.  Or maybe just a transition to something else entirely.  It’s nice to think of my grandma and Rose and my sweet, sweet love of a dog falling in the raindrops and riding on the wind through tall grass.  If it wasn’t raining, I’d take my computer outside right now.

“Even if it means oblivion, friends, I'll welcome it, because it won't be nothing. We'll be alive again in a thousand blades of grass, and a million leaves; we'll be falling in the raindrops and blowing in the fresh breeze; we'll be glittering in the dew under the stars and the moon out there in the physical world, which is our true home and always was.” 

[t0ngue-tech]

Deadline | Six

“You retreated further into your seat but this only prompted Jungkook to only get closer.

‘Jungkook, I understand that y/n is your girlfriend, but can you please keep the flirting outside of my classroom?’ Your history teacher called out from his desk.

‘Sorry, teach! Couldn’t help it.’ Jungkook replied with ease.

A few of the students snickered and you easily recognized Jennie’s.

‘That was fun.’ He whispered.

↠fluff, highschoolAU, fake relationship AU↞

word count: 4.7k

↠series: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | ↞

A/N: HELLO EVERYONE IN QUARANTINE! it has been about two months since i last uploaded anything. i actually started writing two things but i got writer’s block from both of them so i decided to continue deadline and BAM i couldn’t stop writing lol. i hope you all enjoy this chapter huhuhuhu. stay safe everyone!

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It had been a long and tiring week since Jungkook came over and you both were busy as ever. You promised the math team that you would attend more meetings, which you were now doing, and you had piles of homework on top of tutoring Jimin, Taehyung, and occasionally Jennie.

Jungkook, on the other hand, was doing his best to do better in all of his classes. Plus, he had been extra tired lately due to his training in the evening. He would usually take you home after school, but he was now heading home to do some homework and nap before training while you had your own after school activities.

You soon came to realize that the last time you got to properly hang out with Jungkook was when he came over to your house.

After Jungkook left, you found the confidence to truly call him a friend. He thanked you for breaking out of your comfort zone for the sake of his own selfishness and you became aware of how caring and mindful he was. 

Fake relationship aside, Jungkook was a great friend and as friends, you missed hanging out with him on a daily basis. Sure, you saw him on campus and he was in your third period, but because you had things to do after school, you drove yourself to school for the past week. It couldn’t be helped.

“So, as a girlfriend, don’t you miss spending time with him?”

Your eyebrow twitched and it felt like you could snap your pen into two.

Jennie accompanied you to a coffee shop after school while she waited to pick up her sister from dance practice. You had your laptop open and a notebook laid out in front of you while Jennie had her textbook that remained untouched for the past hour and a half.

“Ugh, Jennie.” You groaned.

“Come on, y/n. It’s just a question. You even said it yourself, it’s been a while since you hung out with Jungkook.” Jennie took a long sip from her drink and fiddled with the zipper of your pencil case.

“Alright, if I was his actual girlfriend, of course I’d miss him. But we’re just friends with an unusual contract so it’s fine.” You explained.

“Just ask him to hang out with you! Friends are allowed to do that.”

“Jennie Kim. Just drop the subject and open your textbook, you said you’d at least try to study.” You reached over and tapped her closed book with your pen. “Plus, we’re both busy these days, so really, it’s fine.” 

Jennie did have a point. Asking Jungkook to hang out with you as a friend shouldn’t be a problem however, it felt like you would be overstepping your boundaries.

An hour flew by of Jennie complaining, studying for five minutes and taking a fifteen minute break. She may not always be the best study buddy, but she was your favorite companion. Eventually she had to take her leave, leaving you in a cold coffee shop with much regret because you left your earphones at home.

I guess I’ll just stay for a while.

Your phone buzzed in your lap.

[4:12] jungkookie♡: How about now? Is it correct?

While studying with Jennie, you were going over Jungkook’s book report corrections via text message. Attached to his text was a photo of a newly put together paragraph with less grammatical errors.

[4:15] You: you can replace one of your commas with a semicolon. guess whereeeeee

[4:17] jungkookie♡: Alaslskslsks hint pls

You chuckled thinking about how Jungkook probably didn’t even try to look for the comma replacement on his own. Before sending him a sarcastic hint, you stared at his contact name.

It was agreed that you were both going to change each other’s contact name to something more couple-esque just in case someone happened to see their texts. The heart beside his name was something you were still getting used to.

“Y/n?”

You looked up from your phone, already recognizing the voice, and forced your face muscles to stop from frowning.

“Hm?”

Sehun stood in front of your table dressed in his varsity jacket over a white t-shirt, sweats, and his wallet and phone in one hand. The tips of his bangs were plastered against his forehead, probably sweaty after working out; you were familiar with the sight.

“Uh, um, may I sit?” He asked nervously.

You pondered over your answer and replied quietly, “sure.”

He sat down and tapped his fingers against the side of the table. You paid no mind to Sehun and continued to work on your math packet. He barely said a word for five minutes which only made you uncomfortable considering he was your ex-boyfriend and you were currently in a “relationship.”

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Sehun finally questioned.

You hummed, not even batting him an eye. 

“I heard something from Jongin today and he said that Jungkook is using you.”

This statement immediately broke your concentration. You scrunched your eyebrows together, giving Sehun a what the fuck type of look.

“And why the hell did he tell you that?” You were irritated. Sehun was poking around in your business and even if you had the intention of making him jealous, using the words “using you” was a bit much.

“I—I don’t know. He heard it from Jeongyeon and Mina. They were talking about it and Jongin just passed it along to me.” Sehun brought his hands down to his lap and averted his eyes.

“So, basically, the cheerleaders were talking about this?” You waited until he nodded. “For your information, Sehun, Jungkook isn’t using me.”

“And how do you know that?” He answered rather quickly.

There was no way you could tell Sehun that you were in a fake relationship with Jungkook and it frustrated you because you knew for sure that he wasn’t using you without consent.

“Why do you even care? My relationship with Jungkook doesn’t concern you.” You had to tone down with the annoyance in your voice before it attracted any attention from other bystanders.

“I—Well,” Sehun gnawed at his bottom lip. “Jungkook and Chaeyoung broke up months ago and maybe he’s just using you to get over her. Maybe he still loves her.”

Maybe. Maybe he was right. Who knows? Jungkook could possibly still love her deep, deep, deep down and was having trouble getting over her. But you remembered that he only misses the good times, that was it.

You let out a rough sigh and rubbed the spot in between your eyebrows.

“Are you having trouble getting over me?” Sehun asked boldly.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” You quipped.

“We also only broke up months ago. After a year of being together, you really have no feelings for me anymore?”

Your jaw dropped a little. Was he serious?

“Well, if you put it that way, since you’re so concerned about Jungkook and I, do you still have feelings for me? Oh, but you did break up with me because you lost feelings.” You held your eye contact with him and waited for an answer. Despite how strong your retort was, your heartbeat was working overtime. You were grateful to be sitting down because if you were standing, you would probably wobble down onto the floor from being so nervous.

“I—”

“Huh, if it isn’t my two favorite people, y/n and Sehun.”

You snapped your attention to Jungkook who had remarkable timing. You were so engrossed in your heated conversation with Sehun that you didn’t even notice Jungkook walk in.

Startled, Sehun harshly stood up from the chair, slightly bumping into Jungkook.

“I was just leaving.” Sehun mumbled and escaped towards the register of the coffee shop.

Jungkook was dressed in an all black tracksuit and had his duffle bag slung over his shoulder. He pulled back the seat and sat down with a cheeky smile on his face.

“Hi.” He proudly greeted you.

“What brings you here?” You moved around some of your supplies to make room for Jungkook’s laptop and the printed copy of his book report.

“First of all, you didn’t reply to my text when I asked for a hint and you mentioned that you were at this coffee shop so I decided to drop by for you to check out my paper face to face.” He answered.

You took the book report and flipped it over page by page. “Mhm, and secondly?”

“Oh, I don’t know, I guess we just haven’t seen each other much besides in school. I figured you were probably suffocating from missing me too much—hey, ah!” You cut him off by reaching over to playfully smack him a couple of times with his report. 

“On a serious note though,” he continued. “We really haven’t seen each other that much. Sorry about that.”

You smiled softly. “Hey, it’s not your fault. We’re both busy.”

Jungkook returned the smile and tapped away at his keyboard. “So, what kind of bullshit was Sehun saying this time?” Jungkook turned his body and captured the sight of Sehun finally leaving the coffee shop.

You blew out a breath of air not wanting to remember the frustrating conversation you had with Sehun. Since it was about your relationship, Jungkook had to know.

You explained to him that the cheerleaders stirred up the idea of Jungkook using you to get over Chaeyoung. It was pretty obvious that Chaeyoung was the starting point of that piece of information. He reacted just as you did, irritation seeping out of every pore. You then added the part where Sehun mentioned that Jungkook probably still loved Chaeyoung.

“Geez…” Jungkook hissed. “With the way she’s behaving, it’s making me feel more relieved that I broke it off with her. Even if we’re not together anymore, she’s still possessive.”

“Sorry you’re going through this.”

“I’m sorry to rope you in this.”

You both snickered, understanding that this was the grave that the two of you had dug and had no other choice but to lie in it.

“I think we should get back to our usual routine.” Jungkook suggested.

Your routine with Jungkook consisted of him picking you up from your house at around 7:15 to go to school together. Jungkook would then take you to your first period and hang out with you outside of the classroom until the first bell would ring. Lunchtime was usually spent with him, his friends, and Jennie, then third period, fourth, and the school day would be over. If you had matters to attend to after school, Jungkook would wait on campus or sit in his car until you were finished and then he would take you home. This routine was put on hold due to both of your busy schedules.

“I think you’re right. Maybe we’re starting to look more like friends than a couple these days.” You lightly chuckled and quickly skimmed through one page of Jungkook’s report. “And I also think the semi colon belongs here.”

“Where?!” He scrambled around to look where you were looking.

“Somewhere—here.” You took one of your red pens and circled the same paragraph he sent you.

Just as you playfully hit him with his papers, Jungkook grabbed your red pen and drew jagged semicolons all over your hand as you struggled to free yourself. In that moment, you felt at ease knowing things were going to go back as normal as possible.

↠↞

“The two of you look disgustingly happy today. I feel like vomiting.” Jennie shuddered and opened her bag of chips.

You turned your gaze over to the lunch line where Jungkook and Jimin were standing. Jimin was shaking Jungkook by the collar, probably begging Jungkook to accompany him to the mall tomorrow; you remembered Jungkook sighing about it at the coffee shop. 

Jennie was right and you refused to vocalize it. When you walked out your front door in the morning and found Jungkook leaning against his car, waiting for you, your heart thumped inside of your chest. He acted like he normally did, teasing you about the dust of sleep that was still settled in your eyes. 

There was a moment in time where you realized that the routine you had with Jungkook was now the norm and you were experiencing that same feeling all over again. It made you feel giddy, almost like a kid waking up on Christmas morning.

“I think you’re imagining it.” You dismissed the topic and pierced your juicebox with a straw.

“And I think I know you too well.” Jennie smirked and stole the first sip of your juice.

Well, she wasn’t wrong.

Third period physically suffocated you.

Your teacher had given the last half of class time to work on the history project and Jungkook sat a lot closer to you than normal. The entire class—pretty much the whole school—knew that you two were a couple, but the cheerleaders in your class constantly shot icy glares at you.

For an entire week, there was some distance between you and Jungkook and the constant stares from any of the cheerleaders began to subside until now. With the way Jungkook was acting, you knew it had to do with your “looking more like friends than a couple” comment from yesterday. Pulling off a couple’s aura was obviously a good thing, but shaking off the glares of Chaeyoung’s posse always proved rather difficult.

“Hey. Could you, I don’t know, maybe scoot over just a teensy bit?” You whispered.

Jungkook looked towards the cheerleaders who quickly turned away and then did the exact opposite of what you requested. 

To sit even closer to you, he pushed his desk aside and grabbed one of the vacant chairs that sat on the outskirts of the classroom. He sat close enough to the point where both your knee and shoulder bumped against Jungkook’s own.

“I like this a bit better.” He chuckled.

Li-Like?!

You retreated further into your seat but this only prompted Jungkook to only get closer.

“Jungkook, I understand that y/n is your girlfriend, but can you please keep the flirting outside of my classroom?” Your history teacher called out from his desk.

“Sorry, teach! Couldn’t help it.” Jungkook replied with ease.

A few of the students snickered and you easily recognized Jennie’s.

“That was fun.” He whispered.

“You’re impossible!” You harshly whispered back, face flushed with embarrassment.

After that, the rest of the school day seemed to have passed by in a blur.

You had a math team meeting after school to prepare for the competition and you tried to convince Jungkook to head home so he could rest before his training, but he refused.

“It’s fine. I have my duffle bag in my trunk, so I can just drop you off home and head off to practice.” Jungkook patted the top of your head.

The two of you stood outside of the practice room and you greeted your teammates as they walked in.

“B-But, aren’t you tired? I don’t know what time I’ll finish.”

You noticed that Jungkook’s eyes were focused inside the classroom before he leaned down and gently tugged at your face towards him. There was a short moment of panic inside of you thinking that he was going to kiss you in front of your teammates.

The first and only time he kissed you was the first day your fake relationship was established and kissing you now, when you definitely weren’t ready, was too much.

“Jung—” you croaked and screwed your eyes shut.

Instead of a kiss, he bumped his forehead against yours and lightly brushed the tip of your nose with his own. He probably did this to create the illusion of you two kissing and you were confused, he never did this before.

“I’ll take a nap in my car. Just call me when you’re done so I get a heads up.” Jungkook took a quick step back before enveloping you in a hug. “Work hard. I’ll see you later.”

He left shortly after the hug, leaving you in a daze. Chanyeol had to go out and collect you because you were too shocked to move.

Did that happen just now?

↠↞

“Okay, this meeting is adjourned until next week Monday. Tomorrow is Friday, so I think we all take a break so that your weekend can start much earlier.” Chanyeol announced.

The math team cheered as if they just won the lottery. Your brain had been overcooked with math problems for the entire week and you couldn’t wait to finally relax after school.

While you were packing your bag, you scrolled through the text messages you received during the meeting.

[4:02] momomom: Thai for dinner tonight? Text me your order! I finish at 7 tonight xo

Yes! Chicken pad thai, my body is ready!

[3:40] jenniekim: Lmk if youre free after school tmrw

[3:40] jenniekim: The mall awaits us!

[3:41] jenniekim: And that outfit I showed u before also awaits u!!!!!!

You smiled to yourself.

Sigh, Jennie. You’re not going to let it go, huh?

The next cluster of messages were from Jungkook who also attached a bunch of pictures to the texts. Majority of the pictures were of the sky, his feet on the dashboard, the ceiling of his car along with his face from the eyes up, and his empty passenger seat.

[2:52] jungkookie♡: It’s the perfect day for a nap

[3:05] jungkookie♡: Okay I’m going to nap forreal this time

[3:26] jungkookie♡: Nvm turns out

[3:26] jungkookie♡: I cant sleeeeeep

He’s gonna regret not napping later.

[3:47] jungkookie♡: When youre done gotta show u a youtube vid lol funny af

[3:56] jungkookie♡: Dont forget to call me when youre on your way

“This kid.” you mumbled to yourself.

“Good work today, y/n.” Chanyeol’s voice startled you. “Oh, s-sorry!”

You brushed it off with a laugh and slipped on your backpack.

“It’s fine, Chan. I’ll see you on Monday!”

“Wa-Wait, y/n! This isn’t homework or anything, but I compiled some problems and formulas that you can study and practice with to help prepare you for the final part of the competition.” Chanyeol held out a thin packet.

You smile softly at him. “Thank you so much! I really appreciate this, Chan. I owe you one.”

Chanyeol opened his mouth and a squeak of some sort of syllable left his lips, but he shook his head. “You’re welcome. I’ll see you, y/n.”

He turned his back to you to clean up the classroom and you raised an eyebrow.

Weird.

You didn’t want to dwell on the moment any second longer. It was still a bit awkward around Chanyeol, especially because Jennie always made side comments whenever they would run into him in the hallways.

Since the meeting ended earlier than you expected, this gave Jungkook a bit more time to rest after taking you home. Knowing that he would have the time to relax made you feel satisfied. The quicker you arrived at his car, the quicker he could nap.

“Tsk. He told me to call and yet he’s not answering.” You mumbled to yourself as you picked up your pace in your steps.

Jungkook parked near the second entrance in the student parking lot and you took a shortcut behind the locker rooms and the football field to get there faster.

The sun beat down on you, but the autumn air made it much easier to bear. You noticed it on the way to school, but the weather seemed more beautiful than normal.

“—fuck did you say?!”

You didn’t realize how deep in thought you were until you heard a voice dripping in anger coming up near the boys locker room. The voice was recognizable, but you refused to believe it until you saw the owner with your own eyes.

You ran, almost tripping over your own feet as you turned the corner and found Jungkook in an altercation with none other than Sehun.

Jungkook had the collar of Sehun’s shirt balled up in his fists with Sehun’s back pressed against the wire fence. Your feet felt glued to the ground, but you knew you had to do something before things got out of hand.

“Jeon Jungkook!” Your voice pierced through the air and the two boys whipped their heads to find you trudging towards them.

You ripped Jungkook away from Sehun, dropping your phone to hold his wrists in your hands.

“What the hell are you two doing?!” You first looked to Jungkook for an answer, but his eyes weren’t meeting yours. So, you turned to Sehun and he was reacting the same way.

“Hello?!” You questioned loudly.

“We were just—” Sehun began.

“Talking. Just talking.” Jungkook completed the sentence still avoiding your eyes.

You screwed your eyes shut, blood boiling with anger.

“I’m gonna take a stab in the dark here, but since my ex boyfriend and current boyfriend were in that situation, I’m going to assume that you two were talking about me?” Neither of the boys answered you and you sighed roughly. “I’m going to take the silence as a yes.”

It had only been a day and here was Jungkook and Sehun, once again, sharing the same breathing space. Not only that, the scene you stumbled upon would have probably turned violent if you arrived a minute later.

“Oh Sehun, Jeon Jungkook, you two realize that you both are student athletes, right?” Neither of them dared to look at you. “If a teacher walked in instead of me, who knows what would’ve happened! Sehun, coach would have probably kicked you off the team and you have a match at the end of this month, Jungkook. Your coach probably wouldn’t let you compete!”

You felt as if you were scolding two kindergarteners who refused to share a toy. Unlike an elementary school teacher, you didn’t make them hug and apologize. Instead, you gave Jungkook a light push to keep them at distance. You scooped up your phone and tightened your hand around Jungkook’s.

“I don’t ever want to see the two of you making any sort of contact again and I mean it.” You threatened. “Let’s go, Jungkook. You have practice.”

You couldn’t be bothered to check on Sehun. If you showed an ounce of concern, Jungkook’s mood would probably worsen. So, the two of you marched to his car in a heavy silence.

“I’ll drive. You can cool off in the passenger seat.” You stuck your hand out for the keys, but Jungkook beat you to it and held open the passenger side door for you to get in.

“It’s fine. I’ll cool off at practice.” Jungkook said plainly.

It was weird. You were pissed off about how he would have got into a fight and if you could, you would much rather not talk to him at the moment. But you never saw Jungkook this angry before and it terrified you.

He was always so easy going; anger never seemed to be a part of his vocabulary. It made you wonder what the hell were those two idiots specifically talking about. You made an inference that the topic was you; it seemed to be the likely candidate because they were never friends to begin with. The only thing they had in common was having a relationship with you.

Maybe they talked about what Mina and Jeongyeon said?

The car ride was deafening and what made it even worse was that Jungkook had the air conditioning on and no music playing. You could feel a streak of cold sweat fall at the back of your neck.

Something. I have to say something!

“I—I understand that we’re pretending to be a couple, but you really didn’t have to take it that far.” You blurted out. “You’ve been training hard for this fight, you can’t risk it because of me, you know.”

While you spoke, it took a lot of courage for you to take a peek at Jungkook. You could see his jaw clench and his eyes remained focused on the road. His left hand held the steering wheel and his right hand gripped tightly around the gear shift.

You sighed. Ugh, no. I’m just making him feel even worse.

You almost made yourself dizzy by thinking about what to say to Jungkook. In your eyes, you didn’t seem to do anything wrong back at the school but at the moment, you were nagging at him. The last thing you wanted was for Jungkook to be angry or upset with you.

The suffocating atmosphere wasn’t getting any better. Before slumping lower into the seat, you noticed how tight Jungkook was holding the gear shift. His knuckles ghosted white from how hard he was squeezing the handle.

This made you nervous. What if Jungkook continued to stay angry and ended up hurting himself during practice from trying to “cool off”? What if he couldn’t compete?

No. No. I need to do something. Ah—um—

With trembling fingers, you reached out and peeled Jungkook’s hand off the shift. His entire arm flinched as you gently interlaced your fingers between his own and rested your held hands in your lap.

“If Sehun said something bad about me that made you angry, thank you for defending me. But I don’t want you using violence to solve anything.” Your voice was much softer and much more composed this time. “I don’t want you getting hurt because I’m going to start worrying and I can get pretty annoying when I start worrying!”

You looked over at Jungkook whose facial expression still hasn’t changed.

“Jungkook.” You sighed. “Please don’t be angry.”

Just when you thought things were going to take another wrong turn because you couldn’t stop spewing nonsense, you felt Jungkook’s hand relax in yours. He still kept his eyes on the road, but he used his thumb to gently graze your skin as you held on. Before you could ruin the mood by running your mouth, you smiled to yourself thinking you succeeded in making him relax. You used your free hand to softly draw mindless patterns on the back of his hand.

Not another word was said, but the heavy fog in the car seemed to have been lifted.

Before you knew it, Jungkook was pulling up to the curb in front of your house. You were still holding hands with him, so he had no way of putting the car in park. But he didn’t move an inch to do so.

“Jungkook?” You called out, but there was no reaction. “Jeon Jungkook!” This time, you shook your hand and it woke him up out of his daze.

“Huh?”

“I’m home.”

“O—Oh! Sorry.” He retracted his hand back and finally put his car in park. 

“It’s fine.” You snickered. “Um, get some rest okay? Don’t get hurt during practice.”

You shuffled around and gathered your things to exit as quickly as possible.

“Y—Y/n..!” Jungkook tugged at your sleeve just before you could open the door. “Uh, I—I—I’ll...do my best tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The crack in his voice startled you. It wasn’t like Jungkook to sound or look this flustered. It was quite the sight to see, but you were getting nervous all over again.

“Yeah. Drive safe.” You replied and finally made your escape. You wanted to run into your house right away, but your compulsion to turn back around weighed heavier. So, when you reached your front door, you did just that.

You saw Jungkook already looking at you, so you waved. For the first time since he dropped you off at your math team meeting, he smiled at you. He then waved back and drove out of your street.

It seemed to take forever to get your front door open and once you did, you plopped yourself down on your couch. You shut your eyes and your head spun as you looked back on the events that took place.

The angered expression Jungkook had when he was with Sehun continued to pop into your head. As well as the way Jungkook held your hand and affectionately grazed your skin with his thumb.

Your cheeks flared up.

Geez, what a day.

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♡ rae jagi

[secretobsessionstuff]

Hi, I don't know if you're still taking prompts, but after reading your adorable carsickness fic for Madix I had an idea. Maybe the 4 of them (dakota, blair, riley, madix) are all stuck in a house together because of a storm (or quarantine lol) or something and madix is coming down with the stomach flu but he's trying to hard not to throw up for Riley's sake but eventually he does and dakota goes after him so riley doesn't have to but then riley sucks it up and does anyway

Oh my gosh thank you for this lovely request! I hope you like it! 

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Time: 19:00

It’s been 5 hours, 34 minutes, and 6 seconds since Madix and Riley had planned to leave Dakota and Blair’s place. It’s also been 5 hours, 35 minutes, and 6 seconds since the weather network issued a formal warning urging everybody to stay off the roads.

Madix looked out the window at the so-called dangerous driving conditions and was blinded by the moonlight bouncing off the snow. He squinted and let out a sigh. It looked like they wouldn’t be going home anytime soon.

“It’s your turn, Madix,” Riley called from the kitchen table.

Madix let the curtain drop, obscuring his view of the sweet outside world. His car was right there! They were 12 kilometers from their home! But a pile of snow was in the way. Though it had only been five hours, Madix felt like they had been prisoners in Dakota’s home for three weeks already. Of course, Dakota’s place was fine. It was warm and had all the food they could possibly need, but Madix wanted to go home.

He swallowed down a wave of nausea and rejoined his friends at the table. It’s been 5 hours, 21 minutes, and 22 seconds since Madix’s stomach-ache turned into more than a stomach-ache. When he realized that he probably wouldn’t be going home that night, his uneasy feeling grew into something worse. All day, he felt kind of achy and weird. It was only when the prospect of not sleeping in his own bed had sunk in that Madix started to feel sick to his stomach. He shivered, not because of the cold – the house was actually too warm – no, he shivered because he felt his stomach churn beneath his palm.

Sitting back down at the table, Madix gathered up the pile of obscenely offensive cards and watched as the words swam before his eyes. Only one of his friends’ cards could win and it was a choice between an insulting joke about religion, an insulting joke bout race, or an insulting joke about religion and race. Obviously, the latter won, but honestly, Madix wasn’t even paying attention anymore. He put his cards down on the table and rubbed his forehead.

Riley grinned and collected his winning card. He was sitting beside Madix with his hand on his boyfriend’s thigh under the table. As Madix let out a long exhale, he gave him a curious glance.

“Everything okay?”

“Mhm,” Madix nodded without lifting his head. “Who’s next?”

For a while, the game distracted his friends from realizing that Madix was slowly getting worse. He was talking less, burping into his fist, and generally feeling like a pile of crap. Unfortunately, no game or conversation could distract him from the way his body felt like it was being poisoned.

Eventually, the game ended. Blair had won, which prompted Dakota to wonder how she got so good at such a bad game. There wasn’t much else to do after that, so Dakota poured everyone a glass of wine and they just talked. As expected, Madix’s drink sat untouched for the next hour. At least now, he could excuse himself from the table without worrying that his turn would be coming up.

Time: 20:28

Madix had been in the bathroom for far too long; his friends were no doubt getting suspicious. But he needed the time to be alone. He leaned against the sink and allowed the pain to show on his face. He looked grey and exhausted. For the tenth time in the past five hours, he wished he were at home. Actually, if his wish could have come true, he would wish for his belly to stop hurting. He didn’t want to throw up, but as the night went on and the snow kept falling, that was looking more and more like a fantasy.

As Madix left the bathroom and turned the corner, he almost ran into Dakota.

“There you are,” Dakota said. His face was hard to see because the hallway was dark, but he looked concerned. “Are you okay?”

Madix didn’t know what his face looked like in the dim lighting, but he bet it wasn’t great. “I’m fine,” came his automatic reply, then he remembered he was talking to Dakota. “…sorta.”

“Sorta?”

Madix crumpled. He let his shoulder fall against the wall, too tired to hold himself. “I don’t feel well,” he breathed out.

Dakota put his hand on Madix’s shoulder. “Why didn’t you say anything? I have Advil or Tylenol or –”

“It’s my stomach.”

“Oh.”

“But I don’t want Riley to know.”

Dakota frowned and got closer to his friend so he could hear better. Madix did look quite pale and shaky.

Madix carried on. “It’ll freak him out if I’m sick while we’re all stuck here.”

“Do you think you caught a bug?”

Madix groaned and hugged his stomach. “I don’t know, but please don’t tell him.” He started walking back to the bathroom, hoping Dakota would follow. “I’ll just take some nausea meds and ride it out.”

“If you’re sure…” Dakota said hesitantly as he pushed pills out of a blister pack. He handed them to Madix who took them gratefully. In the proper light, Dakota could see that his friend looked horrible. His cheeks flushed, and his collar was rimmed with sweat. “I’m sorry you can’t go home. Let me know how else I can help.”

“Just don’t tell Riley.”

The boys returned to the living room where the four of them were now sitting. Throughout the conversation, Dakota kept looking at his friend. Madix was next to Riley, but looked very uncomfortable. His fists were clenched around the fabric of his shirt. Each time he blinked, he kept his eyes shut for ten seconds.

It was nice that Riley seemed relaxed, Madix thought. Part of him wanted to curl up next to his boyfriend, and another part wanted to stay as far away as possible for multiple reasons. For starters, his stomach was making all these sick noises every few minutes. The pills weren’t helping much and now all he could feel was water sloshing around inside him. Also, thanks to the heat in his cheeks and heaviness in his head, Madix was almost certain he had a fever. He certainly didn’t want anyone else to catch whatever he had, but he felt like a bomb. It was only a matter of when.

During one of those ten second blinks, Madix suddenly needed to snap his eyes open as he heard his name being said. “What?” he looked around as if in a daze.

Riley had taken Madix’s hand to get his attention. “You sleepy, babe? You haven’t said anything in a while.”

“Just tired.” He smiled sleepily, hoping that he seemed fine.

“You look a bit pale,” Blair said. She was lying against Dakota but leaned forward to get a better look at Madix. “Doesn’t he?”

Riley cocked his head to the side and looked at Madix. “Yeah, kinda. Are you feeling okay?”

Madix didn’t like having everyone look at him at once. He knew he looked bad, and he knew his friends were just worried. He glanced at Dakota who was rather hard to read in that moment. He was actually hoping for Dakota to save him but that didn’t happen.

What did happen though is that Madix’s stomach chose that moment to gurgle. Oh God, this can’t be happening, he thought. The room was suddenly boiling hot. His skin felt all tingly and slick with sweat.

“Babe, talk to us.” Riley’s voice was like a faraway sound at this point to Madix. His head was spinning, and his vision was blurry. He knew he was in trouble when saliva flooded his mouth. If he was planning on saying anything, that plan was never going to come to fruition. Madix’s stomach lurched, causing him to gag. He shot forward, clamped a hand over his mouth and sprang up from the couch.

The three of them were left staring at Madix’s back as the poor boy ran down the hall. Riley looked confused and spooked at the same time. He was awkwardly sitting on the side of the couch, as if he wanted to get up.

Dakota actually did get up. “It’s okay, I got him.” He went after him.

In the bathroom, Dakota found his friend on his knees, heaving into the toilet. He knelt down next to Madix just as a torrent of sick gushed from his mouth.

“Alright,” Dakota said as he put a hand between Madix’s shoulder blades. “That’s it, man, you’re okay.”

There wasn’t time in between retches for Madix to acknowledge his friend’s presence; he was too busy purging his body of everything he ate that day. However, Madix liked the feeling of Dakota’s heavy hand on his back. He focused on that feeling rather than his belly that was in turmoil.

The room was swaying, and his head was fuzzy. He burped a few times before beginning the next round of vomiting. He made a strange strangled sound in his throat as his stomach sent up another mouthful of puke. A sob escaped in between gags.

“Oh Madix,” Dakota cooed. He was still rubbing his back. “I’ve got you, everything’s fine.”

With his head still hovering over the toilet bowl, Madix caught his breath and spat a glob of saliva. “I feel awful, Kota.” His voice came out sounding thick and strained.

“I’m sorry.” Dakota felt stupid saying that, as if an apology would make it all better. “It’s just a bug though, you’ll get through this.”

Madix groaned and rested his head on his arms that were crossed over the toilet. “How’s Riley?”

“I’m fine.”

Both boys looked towards the door where the new voice came from. Riley was leaning against the doorframe, looking like he was using the wall as a shield. He took a step into the bathroom. “Who cares about me, though. How are you doing, babe?”

“Not great, Ry,” Madix said before burping into his hand. It was the first honest thing he said to Riley for a while now. Seeing his boyfriend’s face, Madix suddenly felt smaller and cold. He reached his hand out towards Riley, craving a bit of contact. To his surprise, Riley joined Madix on the floor, replacing Dakota.

Riley grabbed Madix’s hand and pulled it to his chest. “I’m gonna look after you.”

That little bit of comfort made Madix melt. He instantly let out a small whimper of pain and allowed Riley to take him into a hug. With his face smothered into his boyfriend’s chest, he let the tension out of his back. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Riley said while petting Madix’s damp hair. “Now, let’s get you out of this shirt, you’re drenched in sweat.”

Madix pulled away from the hug. “I’m going to be sick again.”

Judging by Madix’s relatively calm state, Riley guessed he meant later in the night. Nonetheless, he would stay by him when it happened. “That’s fine. Let’s at least move you to a bed and get you in clean clothes.”

Again, it was as if a weight was lifted from Madix’s shoulders. “You’re the best.”

“I’m trying”

Madix resisted the urge to kiss Riley. He settled for a smile. “I know that.”

[atrixfromice]

If isn't one thing, is another!!!

Or “the odyssey of quest for the best microphone!”

I’m going to talk about this, because I promised to some folks I would. But also because I feel the need to talk about this to feel...well, maybe not better...but to feel a bit less dissapointed at least.

I was really excited about going one step further to a higher level regarding my fictional characters, but unfortunately for me, “if isn’t one thing is another” as we say in Mexico. Is an expression for when we have one and another and another misadventure or bad thing happenning succesively.

And that’s precisely what happened to me in general this year. But specially, with this animation project. First my computer started to have trouble, so I told myself “well if that’s so, I might just make the animation in traditional and I could tell my brother to lend me his computer so I can put the drawings together on movie maker”.  And my mom helped me with the traditional animation tools that are the glass desk I use as animation table, and the portable lamp. These ones!

But at the same time with my computer trouble, I had a lot of trouble too with the quality of the audio records when I found my character’s voices, since the peeps who were enthousiastic to work voicing my characters had no microphone to record, and I had no microphone to record either!

They recorded directly with their smartphone, and I with my smartphone and using an earphone as microphone. So in all the cases the voice was overcame by the sound of the street, the neighbords, people talking in the distance, etc.

Plus, one of my friends was so nice to spend an afternoon and night with me until 4 am (via chat online of course, he lives in mexico city and is far away from where I live) talking about my fictional characters and making voices so I could know if he could fit for one of my characters, because he was so excited a bout this animation, and mostly because, as I said before, he always wanted to be a voice actor for animated cartoons.

So I thought it worth the effort to help them and myself a bit, and I had the brilliant, brillant idea ( now I know it wasn’t a good idea XD) of making a tour on my town to see if I could find a good quality micro for a decent price so I could buy at least 2 or 3, and send then 2 to my friends and one for me, or send one to one of  my friends and take one for me.

But what happened I think I wouldn’t have predicted it!

Firs of all, almost all electronic stores were closed due quarantine. Except for one who was a little modest store that had recently oppened. So I bought my micro there because I had no choice.

The first “micro” I bought was actually not a micro (even if the girl who was selling there told me that is was usable to record) but just some headphones that worked via bluetooth with a micro included but they were only to talk, not to record. So yeah that day I learned that you cannot record via bluetooth. Because even if I installed an app so my smartphone could recognize the mic, the sound was horrible!! It sounded like someone who was talking to you from 3 meters away or something like that! Even the records sounded better with my earphone used as micro! And that was so much to say.

So I went to the store and I told the girl I needed to change the product or the return of my money cos this product wasn’t able to make what I needed it for, that was RECORDING AND GIVE ME A GOOD QUALITY SOUND! And then the girl said she couldn’t give me back my money because their enterprise didn’t allowed that, but yes to product changement in case of trouble. So I accepted and she gave me an earphones with microphone included, it was a generic brand but the girl told me it worked well, so I thought everything was going to be ok.

But no, actually that was worse! It got worse and worse.

I arrived home almost at dawn and I spent almost all day walking to go from store to store and come back. So as you can imagine, I was exhausted. I felt like the toothpaste you squeezed and it’s almost to get over. I wasn’t going to record my fictional character’s voice at that moment. I even didn’t ate all day! But I didn’t really cared, I felt too tired so I just I collapsed on the bed like a log.

So the next morning, I woke up and I happily proceeded to test the micro, and for my misfortune, just one of the headphones worked well, and the other didn’t, and the microphone, that was important part I needed, it didn’t worked at all!!! So there you have me, walking 2 hours to go and come back from the same store (since the transports are not doing their service due COVID) to change that micro, and then the girl gave me another brand of headphones with microphone, and I prayed God for this to the good one!  

Again, same stuff, I didn’t ate and I was tired, but this time I didn’t collapsed like a log, I tried to test the micro to know if it worked or not, and then, it happened that the headpones worked both of them, but the micro didn’t work!

So next morning I went to the store for the 3rd time and I was very upset, I told the girl to give me back my money because I didn’t wanted any other product from this store. I'm appreciative she was very understanting with me, because she treated me nicely and with calm even if I was so exasperated, pissed off and cursing in french.

No kidding on this! In retrospective...it was so embarassing because every people at the store turned their gaze at me like if I was a mad woman! LOL But you can deny after the 3rd time receiving a bad product you would probably have felt the same.

so I calmed down as well. And this time she gave me a lapel microphone, because she couldn’t give me back my money. And thanks goodness when I came home, I tested it and it worked. I I felt relieved and could eat finally.

The next morning I prepared myself a sandwich, and took care of my home duties like moping and swepping and dish washing, that stuff. And when the afternoon came and I tried to record on my new, and I realized that while it worked, the sound quality was very bad cos it picked up a lot of the background sounds and it made to some clicking and squeaking like if I was moving it but I wasn’t.

So I took my afternoon to look on google for how to record with a cheap or bad quality microphone (this one was not that cheap, but it was bad!) and I did all what people adived on on youtube and on blog articles. And I tried to record for two afternoons. like 6 and 6 hours, imagine it, I spent 12 hours voice acting!

Even I put covered my windows on aluminium paper, and I recorded on my bathroom and inside of my closet! XD But nothing worked because, while there was a bit les background noise, the recordings still had those annoying squeaking sounds, and when the voice made high notes, it sounded like someone's fingernails on a blackboard!

It was particularly hard to record on the closet, cos I was up for 6 hours and a bit more standing up trying to record something, and I had to start from the beginning because of the so annoying sounds that were made when I made emphasis on the words. So at the end my feet were numb and burining like hell! That not counting that more the time passed, the less my physical strenght to record I had.

And then after I finished, I thought it was really good, and I was so proud and satisfied with the result, then I gave the record to one of my friends, who offered as beta tester to listen my records, and he commented he heard an squeaking sound and that in the pauses when I talked, he could hear my breath! And that he couldn’t understand what was being said. And he’s an native english-speaker, soo, sooo it meant the record was not going to be able to be used!!!

So you can imagine why at the end I was so dissapointed and sad! Because I had a really exhausted body, a wounded pride, and a sore jaw and throat, because when you record voice (specially on a bad quality mic) you must exagerate a bit your voice and pronnounce well, and move your mouth a lot so you can get a good emphasis on your dialogues. And after all this effort I only got a 2 or 3 minutes recording, which was awesome, but the quality wasn’t good enough to be on an animation!!!! *sobs*

It was a dialogue between two characters, the main character from “good team guys” and the main “bad team guys”, from one of my stories. It was an epic battle between these two, and it was so...so awesome and mindblowing!

No kidding! It had all what I wanted it to have, all those delicious emphasis on the right words and phrases. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to record something THIS GOOD ever again in my life! Because I was inspired, and this doesn’t happen very often.

That without counting that I feel like a great jerk now because I feel like I failed to the peeps who were so participative offering their voices to voice my fictional characters, and who were enthusiastic and excited about voicing one of my original characters. But I think I’m smart enough to notice that right now I don’t have the tools to do neither animation nor voice acting.

So.. that’s why I dediced to not record more, not continuating animating, because I’m just I messing up my health and sleep and with this bad quality micro and computer I’ll not have any good results.

I think is better to save money to buy a good microphone for the voice, or a couple of ones, and send one to my friend. And wait until my brother could borrow me his laptop.

I think, while it makes me sad to come back to illustration and comics only...I feel a bit better by talking about my oddysey. So I thanks a lot to y’all who have been here to support my art and listen to what I write about my art projects.

[pyrewrites]

Thirteen Days

Entry number 2 into the @bechloe-week Weekley Bechloe mini-challenge. This for the prompt ‘quarantine’.

Ao3

Thirteen Days

It was only day 6 of lockdown but LA already had a death toll. The rising count statewide was actually what finally got the state government to act. It was scary as hell but Chloe was in lockdown with her favorite person in the entire world. Her roommate, up and coming musician, and the girl she had been in love with for nearly a decade, Beca Mitchell.

Chloe suspected that she would have been in a much worse state of mind if not for Beca. Chloe was suffering from information overload on a near-daily basis before lunch. Beca had on more than one occasion hidden both of their phones and laptops behind the locked door to what had originally been designated as Chloe's bedroom but quickly became a guestroom/Beca's home studio space, and removed the batteries from all the remotes except for the blu-ray player that had Netflix to keep Chloe from looking up any more doom and gloom. And Chloe was grateful. Yesterday had been especially bad. Chloe had come across a pair of reports of deaths that blew a hole the size of the 405 in the claims that 'only the elderly and immunocompromised had to worry'. The first was a college athlete without a single health problem. He was the same age Chloe had been the day she met Beca. The second was a 13-year-old girl. She had spent hours curled up in Beca's arms alternating between crying and having panic attacks as the reality of the situation set in. Beca had run a marathon of Disney movies in their shared bedroom the whole rest of the day until Chloe had drifted off to sleep.

The next morning Chloe was making a sizable breakfast of all of Beca's favorites to bring her in bed to thank her for everything she did the day before. She glanced at the clock figuring she had enough time to finish before Beca woke up. She had just finished plating the food and was turning to the fridge to get the orange juice when her entire world stopped at the sound of a violent coughing fit coming from the bedroom. Her mind immediately flashed back to the last time they had gone to the store to stock up when the rumors of the lockdown started getting serious. The store had been packed. Despite all the talk of social distancing, Chloe would have been shocked if there was a total of six feet of open space in the entire store. That had been a week before the lockdown order had been given. Thirteen days ago.

Chloe sprinted to the bedroom. She slammed the door open to find Beca doubled over, still coughing. The covers on the bed had been kicked away from her body. Her face was flushed, which could have been attributed to the coughing fit. But the sheen of sweat over every inch of exposed skin Chloe could see was not the fault of coughing.

“Oh god no,” Chloe whispered. She rushed forward nearly jumping onto the bed. “Beca!”

Her coughing continued. She tried to speak only to cough again before she could form any coherent words. Chloe placed a hand on Beca's forehead only to yank it away from her burning skin. Chloe ran into the bathroom and wet a washcloth with cold water. After a few moments of searching, she found a bottle of cough syrup and a digital thermometer. She dashed back to the bed. She opened the bottle and handed it to Beca then started running the cold washcloth over the back of Beca's neck as she tilted her head back swallowing probably more than the recommended dosage.

“Thank you.” Beca croaked as Chloe wiped over her forehead and face, then down her chest and arms.

  “I'm calling the doctor,” Chloe said. Not saying '  to find out where to get tested'   out loud. But Beca saw the panic growing in her eyes. She turned on the thermometer and waited for it to chime ready. “Open.”

Beca dutifully opened her mouth and closed it again around the annoying plastic and metal probe. As soon as it was in place she watched as Chloe tried her best not to run from the room to get her phone. After several moments she could hear Chloe's voice but couldn't make out what she was saying until she shouted.

“I know the symptoms! They are all over the news and the internet! The last time we were out in public for any reason was thirteen days ago!”

Chloe's voice dropped again but it was obvious she was coming back to the bedroom just as the thermometer beeped.

“Yes, she is running a fever,” Chloe said as she walked up to the bed and plucked it from Beca's mouth. “Shit. It's 100.8, we need to come in today. As soon as possible.”

Beca watched as the tension in Chloe's face started to relax.

“Yes. Both of us. We went to the store to stock up two weeks ago and have been in close contact with each other in our apartment since.” Chloe paused. “Ok. Thank you very much.”

Chloe took the thermometer and the cough syrup back into the bathroom. She swung the door closed behind her so she could lean against the counter and try not to burst into tears. She only managed to stay quiet when she did start crying.

“Chlo?” Came Beca's scratchy voice from the bedroom after several minutes of Chloe not returning from the bathroom.

“Yeah. Just a second.” Chloe called trying to keep her voice even. She wiped at her face and almost considered doing her makeup, but decided that would make it even more obvious since they had both stopped bothering days ago. She slowly pulled open the door and started towards the hallway. “Just stay in bed. I'm going to bring you the breakfast I was fixing.”

Beca started to shuffle pillows around so she could sit up. She had gotten herself set up by the time Chloe returned with her food. She made another trip to get her own breakfast and climbed into bed with Beca.

“What was this for?” Beca rasped.

“I was thanking you for yesterday and all those Disney movies without complaining even once.” Chloe smiled.

“You didn't have too. But I'm glad you did.” Beca said before coughing a few times.

“Our appointment is at one. They have a mini drive-up testing center set up to keep from exposing other people that have other reasons to go to the doctor right now.”

Beca just nodded, not wanting to talk much more than she had to with her throat hurting.

Chloe turned on the tv and started searching Netflix. She turned on something light and kinda mindless to watch while they ate.

After they finished breakfast Chloe went digging in their closet. At the time the lockdown order had gone into effect they hadn't had any orders about wearing masks in public yet, so Chloe hadn't gone looking since they had stocked up enough food for at least another week and a half. She found what she was looking for tucked into a side pocket of her suitcase. She and Beca had joined the Beale family ski trip last year over Christmas. Chloe had gotten them a pair of 'neck warmer ski masks' that looked like a turtleneck that had been removed from its shirt. It could be pulled all the way up over your nose to keep your face warm and Chloe figured that much fabric would be much better than cutting up a t-shirt like the internet was suggesting. But given they weren't even going to have to get out of the car to get tested they might not even need them at all.

Chloe made them some sandwiches and packed them both a lunch because she had no idea how long they might be waiting despite having an appointment. She gathered a clean change of clothes for Beca, who hadn't gotten dressed yet since waking up. All of this in-between sessions of panicked pacing in the living room.

Once Beca was dressed Chloe changed into clothes that were more acceptable to wear in public before hustling Beca out to the car. She ran back inside to grab their packed lunch and took a long slow look around the home that they had built together, fighting back tears again.

Chloe barely heard the music playing in the car as she drove. The trip took less than a quarter as long as she was planning. There were virtually no cars on the road.

  “Is it just me or does it feel like we are in the opening scenes of some post-apocalyptic movie and we are like the last people left on earth?” Beca was the one to say it, which itself said how deserted the roads were.

They pulled up outside the doctor's office at 12:15, a full half-hour earlier that Chloe had expected. She saw a small tent in one corner of the parking lot and every other parking spot around that corner blocked off. She drove over and was waved down by a person in essentially a hazmat suit holding a clipboard. Chloe opened the window less than an inch, just enough to communicate.

“Do you have an appointment?” The person said.

“Yes, we do. Mitchell and Beale for 1 o'clock. Sorry we are early, I honestly didn't give any thought to how little traffic there would be.” Chloe said.

“Don't worry about. Everybody has done the same thing. We will get you taken care of as quickly as possible. Just wait in the car and we will hold up a sign with your name when it's your turn. Go ahead and park over there.” The person pointed to the end of the row in front of them. “Should be about 10-15 minutes.”

“Thank you,” Chloe said as she put the car back in gear. “How are you doing Becs?”

Beca shrugged and reclined her seat a bit before curling up.

Chloe watched as Beca nearly dozed off then turned her attention to the team working their way through the few cars waiting. They moved with a practiced efficiency that both impressed and frightened Chloe. She zoned out watching their movements until the person with the clipboard waved to get her attention. They held up a small whiteboard with Mitchell-Beale written on it. Chloe's heart skipped a beat.

Chloe pulled up to the spot she was directed to and rolled down both windows. The workers checked their temperatures with laser thermometers, that Chloe thought were pretty cool. They had both of them stick out their tongues so they could check their throats. Then they performed the test, which was very unpleasant. Before they let them leave they did a second swabbing of their throats.

“We will call you when the results come in. Good luck.” One of the workers said as they stepped back from the car to let them leave.

Chloe could barely bring herself to smile at them as she rolled up their windows. She didn't say a word the entire drive home.

When they got home they both changed back into more comfortable clothes and Beca crawled back into bed and took a nap. Chloe wanted to climb into bed and just hold Beca, but instead, she quietly closed the door before retreating to the living room, turning on the tv for some sound, and began crying again.

Chloe jerked awake at the sound of metal clanging in the kitchen. She looked around in confusion. The sun was setting outside. A blanket slipped off of her as she sat up awkwardly trying to move with a sore back.

She shuffled out to the kitchen to find Beca setting a pot of water on a burner.

“What are you doing?” Chloe said, her voice still thick with sleep.

“I woke up from my nap and you weren't there. I found you asleep on the couch so I covered you with a blanket and watched some tv for a while. Then I was in the mood for ramen. So here we are.” Beca said. Her voice still rough but it was better than it had been that morning.

“Go sit down,” Chloe ordered. “You are sick. I'll fix your food.”

Beca looked like she was going to object right up until Chloe shot her a look that said Beca wasn't going to win this argument. She stepped away from the stove and headed for the living room.

“And thank you for the blanket,” Chloe whispered as she placed a light kiss on Beca's cheek.

The next two days went much the same. Beca slept a lot. Chloe cried a lot and tried not to think about the sore throat she was starting to develop. Beca continued to be stubborn and tried to take care of herself as often as possible. And Chloe almost as often either ordered or, on three different occasions, physically carried Beca to the couch or bed to get her to stop.

The afternoon of the third day, after an especially bad coughing fit, Chloe broke. She started crying in front of Beca for the first time since she woke up sick days ago.

“Hey hey hey. It's ok Chlo.” Beca said as she gathered Chloe into her arms and started stroking her hair.

“No. It's not ok Beca.” Chloe's voice cracked. “I can't do this without you.”

“Can't do what?”

“This! Everything. My whole life. I can't lose you.” Chloe said between sobs.

“You aren't going to lose me Chlo.”

“You don't know that! And I don't want to live the rest of my life without you.”

“What the hell Chloe?”

“Beca I am trying to tell you that I'm in love with you and I don't want you to die!”

Beca stared opening and closing her mouth for what seemed like an hour.

A phone ringing startled both of them. Beca reached over and picked up her phone from her nightstand.

  “Hello? … Speaking. … I see. … Both of us? … Ok. … Yes, the one on file. … Yes. Thank you.” Beca hung up. After she set down her phone she took a slow deep breath. “Chloe. I love you too. I'm  in   love with you too.”

  “On no. Nononononono.” Chloe started crying again. She grabbed her own phone and started furiously started typing. “Fuck!”

“What?” Beca asked as Chloe started typing again.

“Apparently the courts aren't considered 'essential services' right now. Maybe they haven't locked down Vegas yet.” Chloe said distractedly.

“What are you talking about Chlo?”

“If one or both of us is going to die in the next few weeks I want to die knowing I got to be married to the love of my life.” Chloe looked up at the sound of Beca gasping. And found tears running down her smiling face.

Beca slowly reached out and took Chloe's phone from her.

“How 'bout you take me on at least a few dates first? But first, you need to make a run to the pharmacy at the Ralph's down the street.”

“Wha...but the internet says there's no treatment yet.”

“They ran a preliminary test here, but they have to send it to the CDC to make sure.”

“And...?”

“They came back negative for both of us. The test that came back positive was for strep throat.”

“So you're going to be ok?” A smile started spreading across Chloe's lips.

“Yeah. After a few more days of this fucking sore throat. And you're probably gonna get it too so they sent prescriptions for both of us to the pharmacy.” Beca grinned. “Maybe you can pick up some pizza while you are out and we can have that first date. Unless you still want to jump right to getting married.”

“After all this time it still surprises me that I am in love with such a pain in my ass.” Chloe laughed.

“'All this time'? Just how long have you been in love with me?”

“Think I'm going to let you wonder about that for awhile. I have to make a trip to the store.” Chloe said as she hopped off the bed giggling.

“Now who's the pain in the ass?” Beca called after her as she skipped down the hall. The sound of Chloe's laughter echoed back into the bedroom and it was the most beautiful thing Beca had ever heard...so far.