#this took me 3-4 days. im a slow artist now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

haechanplsacceptmylove · 5 years ago

Text

Regret pt.4 (final)

Part one 🍓 part two 🍓 part three 🍓 part four 🍓

Warning(s): smut ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

A/n: omfg finally im posting this, I couldn’t upload this from my phone so I gave up and used my laptot, guys the editing is bad cuz idk how this aMaZing app works on pc. Anyway this is the last part!!! I hope you like it omg. Now I’ll be waiting for you requests!!! I write about anyone, don’t be scared and just request uwu.

You wake up at the feeling of the sun warming your face and check the time "oh shit it's already 11pm" you get up quickly and go take a shower. You do your morning routine and prepare breakfast. "morning" your best friend Mina says walking with her eyes half open "morning lazyass" you chuckle and tell her the breakfast is ready.

You decided to put on some music from the speakers while you eat and chat. After a couple songs NCT DREAM's Ridin starts playing and you stop eating, looking emotionless at your food, flashbacks filling your head. Your friend quickly changes the song feeling guilty for not checking the playlist before putting it on play. You look at her giving her a faint smile "their new album is pretty good.." she looks at you not knowing what to say. "should I agree or change the topic" she thinks to herself looking at you confused , "Mina!" you startle her and chuckle "your food is getting cold, eat! I didn't cook it to be thrown away" you say and she nods and continues eating.

It's been almost 2 months since what happened. You both never talked after that night. After crying your eyes out everyday and night for a whole 3 weeks, you decided to get out of the sorrow you're in and get a hold of your life especially when your comeback was very near, you thought that working hard and for yourself and your members and fans was more important and so you continued on living trying to not think about the whole incident, which was obviously pretty hard. You missed each other so much but you both were too hurt, you were afraid that staying together will hurt more than letting go of each other. Your band had a comeback last month and you're more than thankful that you both didn’t have a comeback at the same time, otherwise you would've had to promote together. You congratulated the nct members for their comeback , except of course Haechan. You're still in contact with the members, and they believe that there was a misunderstanding between you two so they also were trying their best to talk to Haechan about it whenever they get the time. After that incident Mino apologised to you and promised you to make things right. Well you also feel guilty about it so you forgave him, not wanting to lose such an important person again. -meanwhile- The dreamies are all sitting in the dressing room watching their comeback performance. "yo hyuck did you make your mind?" Jaemin whispers to Haechan but of course the other members heard him and switched their attention on Haechan who's now looking at his bubble tea thinking deeply. He sighs "I don't know..." "c'mon man they did wrong but you know damn well y/n was completely not in her right mind!" Chenle says "that's right, and you know how easily y/n gets drunk and how clumsy she could be" Renjun adds and the others nod. One month ago Mino finally had the chance to meet Haechan after getting rejected numerous times, and he finally explained everything to him, from the beginning till the very end and took the blame for starting it. "I know y/n didn't understand what she was saying nor doing and i knew she didn't mean anything of it but i was just.... I just really missed her. I know that was very selfish of me but it's not her fault! I was wrong, i made a mistake, please don't hurt y/n more, she's already broken i can't see her like that" Mino says in one go afraid he'd get interrupted again and ending up in another misunderstanding. After that, Haechan had been thinking about it and he decided to forgive you, after all he loved you more than himself, you were his everything. But he was afraid he hurt you too much, not forgetting how you once told him "when someone hurts me... I usually automatically start building hate towards them so my good feelings end towards them and I can live without being or getting hurt anymore, that how my escape or fight-mode works" you told him after getting out of your toxic relationship. Haechan just couldn't stop thinking about that and kept getting more scared everyday thinking that your hate towards him is growing more and more everyday. ----------- "you look gorgeous" you stylist looks at you mouth open. You had a yellow crop top that showed your shoulders and black mini pencil skirt, with yellow and black thigh high boots. You looked gorgeous, everyone looked at you in awe, especially when it was your first time wearing yellow in such an event. You're on an award show, where basically all the artists are attending and especially the band where's also your boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend. "wait let me put this necklace, it suits your outfit very well" your stylist says going behind you, you look in the mirror and see her putting on the sunflower necklace Haechan gave you on your first date after getting officially together, long time ago. You hold the necklace and hesitate "what's wrong? You don't like it??" your stylist says and you shake your head "oh no.. Bu- nothing it's pretty" you smile and she nods putting it on around your exposed neck. Your members look at you in awe "y/n you look- wow you're really gonna be the prettiest in this event" "i know rightt! Ugh I'm jealous" your members whine and you chuckle. You were the last band to enter the hall and everyone stood up bowing to you and you doing the same to them. Your table was near NCT's and you feel yourself getting nervous. You sit down and start chatting with redvelvet members who were sitting with your band in the same table. You feel someone's gaze on you and automatically turn your gaze to meet his, Haechan's. As soon as he realises you're looking at him he looks away and you do the same. He was looking extremely handsome that night, "a whole snack" you thought to yourself. It's been already 45 min in the event and you just can't hold it in anymore. You and Haechan keep gazing at each other, until you both finally hold eye contact that lasts 5 seconds. You look away and sigh getting up and walking past NCT's table towards the backstage. Haechan's eyes follow you and see where you're going. You go backstage and walk till you reach the cafeteria that's made for idols. You buy a water bottle and drink it. Suddenly you feel someone grabbing your wrist and pulling you to the nearest empty dark room. As soon as the door closes you're pinned on it. Thanking god for the open window where the moon's light is shining through, you could see who it was. The one and only, the boy who owns your heart and your soul, the one who completely owns you; Lee Donghyuck. His face is so close to yours as you can feel his breath on your lips, he looks at your mouth and back at your eyes, then he scans your face, the face he's been missing for the past 2 months; 60 days; 1440 hours. Without words he leans in slowly, making sure to give you the time to react and stop him before he does what he's about to do, but you don't do anything, instead you grab him by his collar and pull him in for a kiss. A kiss full of emotions, sadness, hatred, happiness. Soon the slow kiss turns into a heated hungry make out, you both pull away panting and holding an eye contact. "I fucking missed you" he says leaning his forehead onto yours. "i missed you too, hyuck, so much" you say closing your eyes, you soon feel his lips back onto yours and you start another make out session wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling his hair. He moans in the kiss, damn he missed you, everything about you. Your smell, your taste, your voice, your smile, your moves, everything. Haechan's hands move from your waist to your ass, giving is a small squeeze as his hands then slide down to your thighs to pull you up. You jump and wrap your legs around his waist not breaking the kiss. Haechan places you on the nearest table and lets you sit on it, he moves from your mouth to kiss your jawline down to your neck and collarbones till he reaches your necklace. His eyes glows as he chuckles and kisses your necklace and your chest area around the necklace. He leans back and looks at you "you're gorgeous" he pulls you into another kiss but now you can feel his apologies in it, his regrets and his sorrow. You feel as tears stream down your face he pulls back and holds your cheek wiping your tears "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he says now tears streaming down his cheeks too. You hold his cheeks "Sorry Donghyuck, forgive me I was so stupi-" he interrupts you "shhhh i can't stay mad at my baby for a long time you know" he chuckles and gives you one last kiss before kissing down your chest, pulling down your top, showing your breasts and he wastes no time to attack them, sucking on them as if his life depends on it. You let out a whimper and hold pull on his hair, letting your head fall back and arching your back. His hands go down to your boots and zips them off, massaging your bare legs, not letting go of your nipples. You feel your nipples getting numb and moan loud trying to pull your chest out of Haechan's mouth and he pulls away kissing down your clothed stomach reaching your sensitive clothed clit. He pulls your legs putting them on his shoulders pulling your skirt up and taking your pants off, attacking your sensitive nerves immediately and you let out a moan putting your hand on your mouth right after. Haechan groans knowing he won't be able to hear you moan since people could be anywhere out there. He eats you out, giving you full satisfaction as you arch your back and hold his head pushing him deeper "ah fuck hyuck! I'm-im close" your back is about to break arching trying to reach your long waited climax. Just about when you reach it, Haechan pulls away and you whine at the cold feeling. Haechan looks at you smirking zipping his pants off and freeing his thick dick, you bite your lips as soon as your eyes lay on his thick member, feeling the saliva in your mouth you just want to get on your knees right now and give him the best suck but his chuckle wakes you up from your dreamland, "already feeling hungry baby?" he says. "I want to suck you" you say straightforwardly and he nods "I'll remember that and make sure you keep your promise" he says and slams into you. "Ah!" you let out a loud moan "fuck you're big" you say panting and he chuckles "it's not like it's your first time having me inside you" he kisses you jaw waiting for you to adjust but you start immediately moving your hips "needy aren't we" he smirks "just move- fuck!" he interrupts you with a harsh thrust, another and another until he's thrusting at a fast rhythmical pace. You try to keep you moans in, he pulls you closer and you put your legs around his hips, making him go deeper and hit that perfect spot making you a moaning mess "fuck it" you think and let go of your mouth hugging Haechan biting his shoulder and moaning. Haechan on the other side keeps groaning in your ear as he bites and sucks on your sensitive neck, leaving red and purple marks that will definitely cause you troubles with your stylist. "fuck babygirl you're so tight" he whispers growling sending goosebumps down your spine "only for you daddy" you say feeling yourself getting closer to your lost climax and arch your back "ah fuck im close!" you moan and his thrusts get faster if that's even possible "fuck me too baby let's do it at the same time" he kisses you swallowing each other's moans as you reach your climax and soon you feel his hot cum filling you up. You ride your orgasms and lean your foreheads on eachother's. "I love you y/n" "I love you Hyuck" you smile at each other still panting feeling him getting softer in you. "Okay are you done now? Get out it's our time to perform" you hear a knock and Jaemin's voice, and dreamies' chuckles.

"they'll never stop teasing us" hyuck says and you laugh putting your clothes on and getting out of the room hand in hand, face red. You see the dreamies smirking at you both and shaking their heads. "you hornyass nasties!" Jisung yells in disgust and they chuckle.

"Y/N!!!!!!! WHAT'S ON YOUR NECK" you hear your stylist yell and you swear under your breath. Well you both got in trouble in that event but you didn't forget your promise later that night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

272 notes · View notes

thechanbaeklibrary · 5 years ago

Text

Fic Search #32

1. anonymous asked: So guys I read this fanfic years ago I wanna read it again but I forgot the name!! I remember reading it on wattpad and I remember some of the plot it was baekhyun got a job as a stylist in sm and he went to the parking lot he caught chanyeol(who is an idol) in a scandal and I guess he took a pic or something and I guess chanyeol caught him (I forgot the rest) if anyone knows the name plz help

2. anonymous asked: Hi guys!! Can u please help me find this fic?? It’s about Baekhyun who have a twin brother (or being a clone?) who died and was Chanyeol’s boyfriend and then Chanyeol met Baekhyun and started following him and coming to his house at night but Baekhyun’s father tried to protect him from Chanyeol but baek didn’t listen and started dating Chanyeol without knowing about his brother until he eventually found out about the hole story...

3. anonymous asked: hi im looking for a chartered chanbaek fic it’s kind of like slow burn ? yixing tao and kris were in a poly relationship if that helps.

Oppa’s not my style by Vampyreunnie

4. anonymous asked: Do you know the name of this chanbaek oneshot where baek and chan are husbands, but chan pretends he’s cheating on a lover with baek posing as his “secretary”? If you can’t find it that’s fine:)

The Game by VixxsFantasyGirl

5. anonymous asked: hello!! first thank you so much for this blog!!! you guys do the lords work i swear :)) also if you could help i’m looking for a fic where chanyeol and friends are superrrrr rich and they go to a club where yeol orders a white russian. there’s lactation and its aboverse i’m pretty sure pretty please if you could help me find it i would be so grateful!!!!

may it be I’m in love with my babysitter by ExoKiss

6. anonymous asked: hi! im looking for this amazing mpreg fic that i think has been deleted but im taking a shot at finding it anyway. i don’t remember all the details but basically c and b are members of exo and b becomes pregnant... i think they try to hide it from the other members (junmyeon especially?) after the others find out and b gets a little farther along he doesn’t participate in group activities as much. to sum it up chanbaek go through a pregnancy while in exo. i hope i didn’t say too much! thank u :)

7. anonymous asked: Hye can i ask you i dont really remember the title of the fanfic but i know the plot which is baekhyun is fall from the stairs at his office cuz he had an internal fight with lay but chanyeol is his husband. PS: i think that lay is fall in love with baek but he doesnt know that baek is married

8. anonymous asked: Hi, can you help me find this fic please? I dont remember where I read the fic before. Maybe on AFF. I dont remember the details but there this part where Chanyeol and his daughter got into accident and the kid die. Baekhyun's mother blamed Chanyeol for the lost. But, Baekhyun defended him. And if i'm not mistaken, Baekhyun admitted in hospital.

9. evanzu asked: Hi! I hope you can help me find this fic. It’s a college au, and once they met, Baekhyun sees Chanyeol everywhere and starts thinking that Yeol’s stalking him, he confronts him about this and then Yeol stops hanging with their mutual friends. Yeol gets really sad and stops going out all together and dyes his hair from red to black. Then I think Yeol plays a song on the school radio for Baekhyun, then meet at a park and they go back to Baek’s room (shared with Ksoo). Thank you for your hard work!

What are the chances? by M_EXO

10. anonymous asked: Hi guys!! So i’m looking for this fic where Baekhyun was a Makeup Artist who worked with idols and one night he met a very drunk Chanyeol and did the thing right away without knowing each other... after that Baekhyun was pregnant of Yeol but Chanyeol refused to take responsibility at first but eventually came around and started taking care of Baek and get to know him... I remember him being a bit jealous of Sehun bcs he became close friend w/ baek... can u help find it please?

11. anonymous asked: Hi admins! I’m looking for a fic where I think chanyeol gets hurt or attacked and he suspects Baekhyun is the one behind it and a very memorable scene is when chanyeol notices baekhyun starts losing his hair from stress and baekhyun starts going to therapy and chanyeol looks out for him more. If anyone remembers the name it’d be very much appreciated >.<

12. anonymous asked: Hello! I’m looking for a fic where Chanyeol was heterosexual and a camboy and he and Baek were gonna sleep together while Chanyeol thought Baek was a girl and then he realized he was a boy fast forward after the whole thing he also asked Baek out? I’m pretty sure that it was on AFF if that helps! Thank you for your hardwork :)

13. anonymous asked: hii i was searching for a fic where chanyeol's from the future and he goes to the past to find baekhyun and guide him to the young chanyeol?? i think it started with baek's dog or fish idk his pet's funeral? and then young baekhyun found himself falling in love with both future chanyeol and the one during his time and he didn't know they were the same person

14. anonymous asked: About some times ago I read a fic where baekhyun was now living with his foster sister and they attend the same school. Later chanyeol attended the school, he was arrogant. He was a singer and his manager was kyuhyun. It is later revealed that they were each others former best friend, they were both half Korean. Baek was in love with him but chanyeol liked his senior Sandara. One day baek leave him after yeol sing baeks confession song to dara. I remember baeks name was earl. Tell me the name

Thanks to @hollycielo, @ icequeenchogiwa for your help!

#fic search

22 notes · View notes

binkysteebnpewter · 4 years ago

Note

All of them 😤

Ehehe 😂💗

1. What’s your middle name, and do you like it?

Grace is actually my middle name, and somewhat. I just don’t like it when my family calls me by first and middle together.

2. are you artistic?

Somewhat?

3. Have you had your first kiss?

Yes

4. What is your life goal?

It’s cheesy and a little cliche, but I want to find Home.

5. Do you have any experiences with a famous person?

Nope

6. Do you play any sports?

Not anymore but I used to play football and I was on the wrestling team in HS

7. What’s your worst fear?

I have two that are sort of equal with another but I’m afraid of losing the people I care about and people seeing me the way I see myself.

8. Who’s your biggest inspiration?

My late Nana, Gloria.

9. Do you have any cool talents?

Answered in previous ask

10. are you a morning person?

Not at all

11. How do you feel about pet names?

I love them

12. Do you like to read?

Absolutely

13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life.

NCIS, Criminal Minds, and any marvel movie

14. Do you care about your follower count?

Not really, I’ll celebrate milestones but that’s just to show everyone I appreciate them following my trash pile. I didn’t start writing to have a high following, I started writing to better my skill and also make people happy.

15. What’s the best dream you’ve had?

I don’t remember most of my happy dreams

16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender?

Yep!

17. Do you have any pets?

I have three dogs 🥺💗

18. Are you religious?

No. They only thing I actually believe in is ghosts.

19. Are you a people person?

Not really

20. Are you considered popular?

Nope, and I don’t care to be

21. What is one of your bad habits?

Overthinking

22. What’s something that makes you feel vulnerable?

Opening up my emotions to other people

23. What would you name your children?

No clue

24. Who’s your celebrity crush?

There’s a bunch ig

25. What’s your best subject?

Science and history

26. Dogs or cats?

Dogs, I love cats but I’m super allergic

27. most used social media besides tumblr?

I don’t use a lot of social media tbh, so tumblr is probably my most used unless you count youtube

28. best friends name

Duke

29. who does your main family consist of

My friends and my brother. Family isn’t just blood

30. Chocolate or sugar

Both

31. have you ever been on a date?

Yep

32. Do you like rollercosters?

Absolutely love them

33. Can you swim?

Yes 💗

34. What would you do in the event of an apocolypse?

Clearly, I’d do what everyone else does. Panic and try to survive.

35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder?

Yes, I struggle with anxiety and depression

36. Are your parents together?

Nope.

37. What’s your favourite colour?

Dark green and Dark Blue

38. What country are you from/do you live in?

Unfortunately, the U.S

39. Favourite singer?

Uh... there’s too many to list? But my favorite people to listen to is The Oh Hellos

40. Do you see yourself being famous some day?

Nope, I run from being the center of attention.

41. Do you like dresses?

Not really

42. Favourite song right now?

Fly Me To The Moon by Frank Sinatra

43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Sort of.

44. How old were you when you first got your period?

No clue, I don’t remember

45. Have you ever shot a gun?

Yep

46. Have you ever done yoga?

47. Are you a horror girl?

YES 😈

48. Are you good at giving advice?

I suppose I am?

49. Tell us a story about your childhood.

I don’t have a lot of happy memories but one that sticks out is: I used to go to a private Christian academy and I was in first grade when this boy in eighth grade (the entire school was k-12) came over to me during my lunch. I was super scared and shy as a kid so my schedule was tailored so I was able to eat lunch with my brother whose nine years older than me. Our mom forgot to pack our lunches so we were gonna just get some stuff from the vending machine, well my brother gave me my money to get something and this boy came over to me before I could put it in the vending machine. He hit me and took my money, buying himself something with it. My brother seen it and got into a fight with him.

50. How are you doing today?

51. Were you a cute kid?

I looked like Shirley Temple when I was a kid

52. Can you dance?

I can swing dance and slow dance, but that’s it.

53. Is there anything you do that you can’t remember ever not doing?

I always look for exits and bathrooms when I go somewhere, I’ve always done it 🤷🏻‍♀️

54. Have you ever dyed your hair?

No because I’m a ginger. I can’t just dye it back if I end up not liking the color I dyed it to.

55. What colour are your eyes?

Brown

56. What’s your favourite animal?

Answered in previous ask

57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself?

Multiple times

58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

My relationship with my dad is rocky but my relationship with my mother went up in flames a few yeaes ago 🤷🏻‍♀️

59. Do you have good friends?

I have some amazing friends🥺💗

60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group?

Yep!

61. What’s your favourite class?

My favorite class was Psychology

62. List all the tv shows you are watching.

I’m rewatching Criminal Minds right now.

63. Are you organized?

Somewhat?

64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion?

I don’t know if it counts as a movie but I just finished a Ted Bundy Tapes Documentary. I think Bundy was a little bit of an idiot.

67. Which tv character do you relate to most?

Spencer Reid

68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness?

Anxiety, Depression, overthinking

69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?

I would probably still work, I’m not a fan of sitting around and doing nothing for large amounts of time.

70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die?

Find a way to die, I don’t want to live forever. That’s just torture 👀

71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you?

Nothing. I’ll act the same as I always have because I am who I am, there’s no reason to change yourself from when someone is watching and when someone isn’t.

72. If you could start over, what would you do differently?

A lot 😂

73. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Yep

74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new?

I went to Disney with my Chorus Class in Junior Year of HS, it was my first time to Disney.

75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?

Nothing, I’m looking for Home. Home will be someone I feel safe with, someone I can be completely myself with— someone I love wholly.

76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today?

I— idk?

77. What did you want to be when you were a kid?

I wanted to be a nurse 🤦🏻‍♀️

78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking?

Im not sure

79. When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have?

Ooh... uh, something happened to me all through 7th, 8th, and 9th grade that I should’ve spoken up about but was too scared.

80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence.

I will work hard to love myself and pursue my dream job.

81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like?

No clue tbh

82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity?

I don’t want to live forever but I guess I’d find a way to take away my immortality or find someone else who is immortal to love

83. How would you spend a billion dollars?

Id put a lot into important causes and then save some with interest.

84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future?

I’m not sure, I think I wouldn’t go anywhere because I want to live in the moment. Except 2020, fuck 2020.

85. What motivates you to succeed?

Failure motivates me to succeed.

86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most?

I don’t remember most of my happy dream, I usually can only remember the nightmares 🤷🏻‍♀️

87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why?

Woods, its peaceful.

88. Do you believe in life after death?

I don’t really believe in anything 🤷🏻‍♀️

89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they?

I had a teacher named Ms Eagan and she inspired me to always be myself.

90. What’s your fondest childhood memory?

Meeting Lily

91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why?

Lily, because I really miss her.

92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy?

Anyone being nice to me makes me cry—

93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life?

Sometimes the people you call family don’t truly love you.

94. What do you think happens after we die?

Idk and idrc either tbh

95. What would you do if you would be invisible?

I’d probably scare some people

96. What’s something you can’t do no matter how hard you try?

Speak in public or ask for something at restaurants

97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring?

98. How did your first crush develop?

They were nice to me when no one else was

99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it?

Yes, I’m trying to ignore how upset some people can really make me.

100. Do you live or do you just exist?

I think I’m somewhere in between, where sometimes I’m just existing and sometimes I’m living.

#grace speaks #100 questions #@breadgenie892 #ill protect my munchkins 😌💗#my munchkins 🥺💗

6 notes · View notes

twentytwojuiceboxes · 4 years ago

Text

Beyond A Promise Playlist

Listen to it here

Ok so I wasn’t really intending to make a playlist but i kept finding the perfect songs for this story and for these two. Each song I had either sonic or shadow or both in mind and I’ll explain each song choice below. @moralitas I hope these songs help capture the feel of the fic for you and for the rest of your readers!

1. i want war (BUT I NEED PEACE) - Kali Uchis

“My mind and my soul is the weapon, and every failure was a lesson, its time to stop blocking these blessings, see i just wanna grow into my greatness, I wish i had the time that you takin”

This song is supposed to be Shadows pov, specifically for these lyrics. I feel like he’s so used to bad things happening in his life that any possibility of anything good happening (having a place to call home, having someone to call a friend) he would just not let it happen. In beyond a promise, you start to see him grow out of that.

2. This Isn't You - Kyle Dixon

........

No lyrics for this one. I wanted a song for Sonic and Shadows late night runs. They never really spoke during their runs, so I deliberately chose a song with no words.

3. Rose Colored Boy - Paramore

“I want you to stop insisting that I’m not a lost cause, ‘cause i been through a lot, really all I’ve got is just to stay pissed off, if it’s all right by you”

This one is more of a fun one from Shadows pov. Kind of self explanatory, pessimistic protagonist with a optimistic love interest. I like to imagine this song over a montage of Sonic doing things that unintentionally make shadow smile against his will lol

4. Unthinkable (I'm Ready) - Alicia Keys

"You give me a feeling that I never felt before, And I deserve it I think I deserve it, It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore, And I can't take it, I was wondering maybe, Could I make you my baby?, If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy, If you ask me I'm ready"

So this song. This song was the one that made me want to make a playlist in the first place. I was listening to it for the first time in years and the emotion and the lyrics of this song are peak sonadow and i just.....hoo buddy just listen.

5. Blue Dream - Jhene Aiko

"We were coastin' on the coast when you opened my eyes, Made me notice where the ocean was holding the sky right, I was blinded, your smile shining behind those green eyes, The horizon so enticing please say you'll be mine"

This is just a sweet song from Shadows pov. More about the feel of it than anything.

6. Enter Galactic - Kid Cudi

"Reaching out to outer space dancing to awesome sounds, This all new to you?, Reaching out to hold your close so I don't slip away, Explore a new approach, A whole new free I say"

Both Sonic and Shadow haven't ever experienced romantic feelings before, so I like this song as them experiencing something new together. (Also space hogs lmao)

7. Overstimulated - Jhene Aiko

"Who's gonna hold my hand when I'm crashing?, Took you without looking now I'm looking up the side effects, Feel like there a fire set, That I should be dying next, my regrets, Oh my regrets"

After having been alone for so long I feel like being in new relationships, whether it be a friendship or a romantic one, can get overwhelming at times for Shadow. This is that. (***Scream Warning starting at 5:00*** the singer does scream at the end of the song I didn't want to catch anyone off guard with that)

8. Je Cherche Un Homme - Eartha Kitt

“Doesn't have to be prince or movie star, A Texas oil man or a french marquis, Doesn't have to be handsome as a picture, An ordinary guy's all right with me”

Obligatory slow dance scene. Picture this: Sonic and Shadow on a warm summer day, surrounded by Shadows plants. They’re swaying side to side, having a silly conversation, just enjoying each others company. (This isn’t in the fic but I couldn’t help myself with this song lol.) Plus, I always pictured Shadow as a Eartha Kitt fan, idk why but I do.

9. Sit Next To Me - Foster The People

“Come over here sit next to me, We can see where things go naturally, Just say the word and I'll part the sea, Just come over here and sit next to me, And I'll take you high, high”

This one is from Sonics pov. He, ironically enough, seems like the kind of person to would want to take things slow in a relationship, to enjoy the process and see where things go.

10. Amor De Siempre - CUCO

“Unos cambios tomaron lugar en mi vida, Amorcito sonriente entraste sin advertirme, Pero no importa ya, tenemos nuevas historias que contar, Amanecimos bien contentos y ahora vamos a dormirnos sin dudar”

Sonic can not only speak Spanish but speaks it fluently. This is A Fact and I have made it true lol. I wanted to reflect that with this song, but also when you listen it you’ll hear in some parts the artist sings some words kinda funny and I’m not saying that this is sonic playfully serenading Shadow but also.....👀 im just sayin lol

11. See You Again - Tyler the Creator

“20/20, 20/20 vision, Cupid hit me cupid hit me with precision, I wonder if you look both ways, When you cross my mind, . . . Can I get a kiss?, And can you make it last forever?, I said I'm 'bout to go to war, I don't know if I'ma see you again”

I love this song for Sonic because it has a lot of cheesy pick up lines which alludes to his playful side but also the main chorus just...oof. Both Sonic and Shadow do a lot of dangerous adventures/missions and at the end of the day, no matter how small, there’s always gonna be that worry if they’re going to see each other again.

12. Make Me Feel - Janelle Monáe

“Baby, don't make me spell it out for you, All of the feelings that I've got for you, Can't be explained but I can try for you, Yeah baby don't make me spell it out for you”

This one is Sonic all the way. It’s fun and playful but also serious in the sense of the artist really trying to convey all these feelings for another person. I absolutely adore the video as well, the colors are just *chefs kiss* delicious darling; can you imagine sonic going crazy to this song bc I certainly can.

That’s it for now, but I’m like 1000% sure I’m gonna update this playlist as the fic updates!!! I hope ya’ll enjoy!!!!

#sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #playlist #beyond a promise #i was actively trying to not make this whole playlist jhene aiko #you could seriously follow this story with just her music i swear #but i do love these songs too #i know i added some of my own headcannons but i hope they still vibe with the fic #ioufxoufxour im just nervous rambling now lemme stop lmao

3 notes · View notes

prettywordsyouleft · 6 years ago

Text

Through His Eyes - Part 8

Summary: Losing your sight after your accident was traumatic, and Jaebum’s guilt of knowing it should have been him instead creates an intricate bond between you both, as you overcome adversity and try to find your way in life again.

Genre: angst / romance

Characters: Im Jaebum x female reader

A/N: This story is emotional and raw compared to some of the content on my blog. It is in no way an attempt to glamourise or undervalue the lives of those who suffer from something similar. This story is purely fictional.

Through His Eyes will be posted every Tuesday at 10am NZST.

Index: Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 [M] | 13 - FINAL

“I’m home,” you called out after successfully unlocking the door to your apartment within the first three attempts and stepped inside. You turned and bowed to your new minder, Suzie, and fare-welled her before closing the door.

“You’re home much earlier than I anticipated.”

You sighed heavily, stepping into your slippers and following the ramp up into the living area. You were now used to calculating your steps in the back of your mind as you did other tasks, and placed your bag down on the table before heading to the refrigerator. Feeling in the door for a bottle of water, you pulled one out and took it over to a chair at the table. “Don’t ask.”

“You seem unhappy, was your day bad?” You heard another chair pull out and your mother sat down, reaching for your hand gently. You frustrations eased with her touch, and you forgot all about your initial barrier of continuing the conversation.

“I have to do a group project.”

“On what?”

“We’re reading a classic novel called Jane Eyre at the moment and instead of doing an essay on it, which I would have much preferred, our lecturer has assigned us into groups of four to come up with a presentation on a topic within the novel. And of course, none of my partners are happy they got stuck with me.”

“I’m sure they aren’t that put-”

You placed your bottle down with more force than needed and shifted your head towards her direction. “They must think blind people are deaf as well, because they didn’t seem to realise I was nearby when they started to complain about having a disadvantage!”

“Oh.” Your Mum shifted uncomfortably in her seat, no doubt feeling angry hearing of another incident of you being singled out. You felt sorry for her having a daughter that faced so many woes within her education, when in the past you had never caused her any need to be concerned about your academics.

“And to top it off, others were very happy to not have me in their team. Do they think I can’t do the project because I’m blind?!”

“You work even harder than the average student to make sure you don’t fall behind. I’m sure when they realise that, they’ll be more accommodating towards you.”

You shook your head. “It shouldn’t be that I have to prove to them that I’m good enough though. They have no idea who I am, and how many offers I used to get from artists and galleries for my work in the past.”

“But that isn’t who you are now, Y/N,” she reminded gently, and you snapped your head towards her again, anger rising within your chest. She seemed to sense it and reached for your hand once more, which you shook off immediately. “It’s hard I-”

“IT’S ALWAYS HARD, ISN’T IT?!”

Getting up in a rush, you stumbled towards your bedroom and then slammed the door shut, panting heavily with your outburst. Soon the tears came and you sank to the ground, wrapping your arms around you for comfort. Ignoring the knocking and the calls on the other side of the door, you felt ashamed for taking your mood out on her. You hated that even when you were hurting the most, you still felt guilty towards how much she did for you every day and the sacrifices she had taken to help you.

“But for one day, I wish she would just allow me to complain without giving me the known answer,” you mumbled aloud before burying your head into your arms.

Two days went by and your mood had darkened further with the lack of faith from your fellow partners with the presentation. Since it was the weekend, your mother went to help your Aunt run her vegetable store, which you welcomed greatly.

You didn’t intend to move from bed for the entire day.

Around mid-morning, your stomach had other ideas however, so you relinquished to the hunger and went out to make some breakfast. Once fed, you stood within the middle of the living room, wrestling with your options. Bed had been your original safety zone, but now that you were up, it was tempting to go on your computer and waste your day listening to Youtube videos, catching up with online friends in the blind community, and peruse some trivial websites. After grabbing a bottle of water, you headed back into your room and opened the curtains, wincing at the same time as rejoicing in the bright light invading the room. It was an odd experience, you hated the intensity of the light at times, yet it made you feel as close to normal in your greyscale world as you could be.

“Let’s check my emails first,” you said to yourself as you set about the computer, mimicking the sounds the accessibility settings did as you navigated your way around the device. You opened your emails one after the other, listening through the message the robotic voice delivered and then discarded or replied to them as necessary. You were onto the last email when you froze, listening to the message as a cold sweat rushed over you.

“Y/N is invited to the opening of Lee Jaemin’s debut art exhibition, by the title of Expressive. The event-”

The computer started making incomprehensible sounds as you banged on the keyboard to make it stop talking, your breathing becoming erratic. You held your hands to your heaving chest as the sentence repeated over and over in your head, your body shaking at the idea of the girl opening her own exhibition. She had been your biggest competition throughout the years and had always come second to you in major events. Now with you out of the competition, not only had she been able to take your places within the local art scene, but was also offered what you had been working towards earlier this year.

For the first time since the accident, you hated Im Jaebum. For those first few moments, as you digested the information, you cursed your love of GOT7, of kpop, of even knowing the seven men existed. As your body shook all over with anger, you wanted nothing more than to return to the day you had won the exclusive pass and decline the opportunity.

You wanted your career back.

Yet, just as fast as it came, your mind travelled to that fateful moment, your once seeing eyes widening as you noticed the faulty beam first. Your instant reaction to save him, and the weight of the beam hitting you before it all went black. As the tears fell rapidly, your thoughts stopped on every gesture Jaebum had done for you since your world had turned upside down. The anger subdued for a bit, as you coped with the intense grief and guilt you suffered from wishing the beam onto him briefly instead. You rocked back and forth in the chair, unable to cope with the rapid directions your emotions were taking you, hoping your thoughts would ease off.

Instead, your needs narrowed onto one thing and you eventually stood up, heading out of your room as you roughly wiped the tears aside, as if the removal of them would assist in your blind search through the apartment for what you required. Feeling yourself around the walls, you found the storage closet and began using your hands and other senses to locate what you knew your mother hadn’t thrown out like you had insisted her to. It didn’t take long, your fingers falling upon the well-known texture of canvas, shifting along to find four others beside it. You yanked them all out from their hiding spot, tapping around on the ground for any of your tools. You found a bag and pulled that out as well, stopping when you banged into something as you moved the bag. You took that out too and then dragged your discoveries out around you, dropping in between it all and taking a steady breath.

You felt irrationally calm in that moment, and not because you were finally surrounded by what your life had consisted of. The need to feel each object in a slow, methodical examination outweighed anything else, letting your fingers run over every inch of each item. You became familiar all over again with how your tools felt, brushes and sculpting tools all being recognised by your hands. You soon realised the item next to the bag was the prized vase you had made earlier in the year, the ribbons awarded to it still attached. Your attention soon turned to the canvases, the bumps and textures making you think of all the Braille lessons so far, except the words were spoken in an art form, with no distinct answer as to what each piece was. For an immeasurable time, you attempted to guess what was which piece you had created. Every time you thought you had an answer, the next bump of paint would throw you off, frustrating you further. By the fifth canvas inspection, you were rigid, unable to understand anything you were touching.

The pent up emotions built until you could no longer suppress them and you got up, throwing the canvas down with a heavy thud. The sound it made seemed to provoke some kind of release in you and so you bent down, fumbling to find something else to throw, becoming fully invested in destroying everything you had just spent intricate effort in deciphering. The more noise, the more vigorous your actions became until the sound of the shattering clay hit you as if you were shattering your own heart. You crouched down in exhaustion from your emotions, crying consistently until you heard the keypad signal go off.

You didn’t have any energy to move to greet your mother, or to do anything about cleaning your mess either. You waited for her scolding to begin but the rushed feet towards you sounded too heavy to be her. You were confused and for a moment, you guarded yourself, not knowing what to expect.

“What…” You heard Jaebum utter and this was enough to make your legs give out, a cry leaving your lips as you landed on the shards of clay. “Y/N what are you doing?!”

“How did you know the passcode?” you asked tiredly, not giving him any help in lifting you away from the destruction scene. All the same, he attempted to pick you up again, your body trying to fight but had no energy left to leave any effect. He placed you down on the couch and you glared at what you hoped to be his direction. “Im Jaebum!”

“Your mother called me,” he explained, his hands ceasing in their examination of injuries. He shifted back, concerned at how you had spoken. “She told me you were having a hard time and so I said I would come and see you today in between my schedules. I was outside banging and pressing the doorbell, but you didn’t hear me at all. So I used the code I’ve seen you put in.”

You didn’t answer, unable to decide if you were angry with him for interrupting or thankful for his presence.

“Why were you doing that?” he questioned softly, his hands slowly returning to your legs. “Y/N, you’re bleeding.”

“I don’t care.” You looked away from him and tried to push his hands away. He grabbed your hand instead, his gentle nature having an effect on easing your frustrations. Even so, you attempted to hold onto the agitated emotion for as long as you could. “You should just go.”

“I’m not leaving you like this, you should see this place!”

“I wish I could!” you blurted out, and his grip on your hand eased off. You got up shakily from where he had put you and walked back down to where you had been. He grabbed you before you stepped on anything and you pointed to it desperately. “This is me, this is my world. Do you see how shattered this all is now? That is me!”

“Is it really?”

You nodded fervently. “You told me to express how I feel so I am! I’m sick of becoming something new. I am not an English Lit major, but an Art and Design student! I created all of this myself! Now… now I can’t even paint a single line across a piece of paper! Whilst people who I had worked hard to impress for years are now giving Lee Jaemin all the opportunities I was aiming for, I’m here in sweatpants and a tee with no hope of looking good to anyone, let alone impress them that I am someone to invest in. I’m here unable to do anything I want to because, because-”

“Because of me,” Jaebum concluded from behind you, lowering his head to your shoulder and his body began to shake with his own emotions. You moved around in his arms and hugged him tightly, both crying until you could no longer.

For some time you didn’t speak, not having any words to share with each other. And then you felt Jaebum move away from your side, his hands reaching for something on the ground. “This is beautiful.”

“What is?”

“This sunrise over a building top,” he mentioned and your mind went towards the artwork you had created after watching their You Are music video. “It’s captured beautifully.”

“It was inspired by you.” “It was?” You nodded and felt Jaebum move back to your side again, his hand reaching for yours and passing you the canvas. You felt the weight within your hand and sighed.

“I painted it after the You Are MV.”

“Ahh.” He was silent again, but moved back to the mess upon the floor. From his examination, three of the canvases were salvageable, whilst two remained helpless on the floor with the ceramic vase.

“I guess there is a lot of mess to clean up,” you said sadly, lowering your head and holding onto the sunrise canvas more preciously than you had all day.

“But we can clean it up and heal from it together,” he replied firmly, referring to more than the physical mess you had made.

You smiled, nodding your head. “I like the sound of that.”

_________________

[Part 9]

[GOT7 Masterlist] | [Main Masterlist] | [Request Guidelines]

134 notes · View notes

starkerforlife6969 · 6 years ago

Text

Replying to anon messages in one long post so as not to spam you guys! as always, no prompts filled here and i’m sorry for the wait x

1. Hello 👋. I just found your blog and it’s absolutely amazing. You write so beautifully it’s so fluid and graceful almost. I was wondering if you were going to do a second part on the Secretary Peter, Boss Tony fic. Or literally any of them. I’m pretty sure I’ve read through most of your blog just to marvel at the writing. And then a second time for the starker.

Oh my goodness you are the sweetest thing ever. There will be a part 2 to that fic, I promise! It’s just taking me forever hahaha, you are such a darling. Honestly, you’re the sweetest thing ever, thank you so much!

2. @tina8009 “I hope that you will continue with updating archive of our own because after the new update on Tumblr I can no longer Use it because of my eye sickness and I am really love your stories. ❤️”

girl!!! don’t you worry, i promise i will! that sucks :( x but you are so sweet

3. I already loveeeeee that step Brothers au, do you plan on continuing it at any time?

it is on the list gorgeous! It might take me a while, but a lengthier series of instalments is coming! of course, if anyone else would like to go for it in the meantime, i’d be happy to see what they came up with! the more the merrier!

4. Are you going to continue Super Size Me by any chance??? I had about ten nose bleeds the whole way through the four chapters ((especially the fourth chapter)). Totally chill if not, I just loved it

hahahahah, you’re so sweet and oh goodness!!! this question comes every time i answer questions and i feel so terrible- i promise, i will update it!!! a break from classes is coming soon and then i shall be able to get back on track! I’m so sorry, thank you for being so lovely, you stunner!

5. The kitten story was so cute!!!!!!!!! Everything you write is so so cute!!!!

YOU ARE SO CUTE

6. Wow Peter found Tony in New York and took him all the way to MIT in Massachusetts, the dedication to finding a kitten is strong

dude hahahaha i laughed so hard i almost replied to this message when i got it! sorry, i am not american :( and maybe that doesn’t excuse my awful geography but i have no idea where MIT is so let’s just say Peter was on a school trip…yeah…that makes sense. Cats are amazing and it makes perfect sense!

7. I would kill or die for a sequel to hades Stark 😭��❤️ you’re so amazing

YOU ARE SO SWEET MORE WILL COME I PROMISE! do you have any ideas for it ;)

8. Oh my godddd!!!!! I read your Flash and Peter fluff story, and now i'm soft. I love this underrated ship, we need more content like this!!!!! Keep doing what your doing!

you are so sweet thank you so much! it’s the first flash/peter i’ve ever written and i wasn’t even sure how much i liked it but i think i’m sold ;) you are such a darling!!! More to come, I promise!

9. @psychology-fanatic Oh my gosh!! Please please PLEASE give me some more of the Hades stark that stuff is right down my alley I loved it!!

MORE WILL COME YOU GORGEOUS BEAUTY

10. Omg omg omg I just read your Slytherin!Tony and Hufflepuff!Peter dribbles and I love them so much! I hope to see more in the future. You’re such a great writer, being able to flesh out a world in a couple short paragraphs, much love :)

AHHHH WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS OH MY GOSH YOU ARE SO SWEET. and i love harry potter so yes any chance to write more and i will take it

11. Your peter/flash fic was so good. It was so fuckin CUTE

NO YOU’RE CUTE thank you sm darling

12. Pleaseee if you can will you write a sequel to the short shorts drabble

YES IT IS COMING! I’m sorry i’m so slow :( but i love that au and it is in the works!

13. @that-tiny-dumb-artist HOW DO YOU WRITE SO GOOD ?????? I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING L O V E YOUR WRITING

I LOVE YOU SO WE’RE EQUAL! you are far too kind honestly you’re such a doll i don’t deserve you!

14. dont call yourself mama, it really just turned me on

I laughed so hard when i saw this, thank you so much for blessing me. MAMA LOVES IT.

15. hey hun! do you take dark prompts? i'd love to send in some kinda fucked-up shit but i don't want to trigger you or make you feel uncomfortable. x

I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO RESPOND TO YOU GORGEOUS! I SHOUDL HAVE DONE IT WHEN I FIRST SAW THIS BUT IM AWFUL. and um yes i do, nothing triggers me so go as crazy as you’d like ;) iM EXCITED XXX and you’re so sweet to ask mwah x

16. hello i just want to say that i really love your writing and hakfhksla it took me a few weeks to gather up the courage to message you :'))) bUT I JUST WANNA SAY EVERY AU YOU POSTED MAKES MY HEART GO WOAH AND IM SO HAPPY WHENEVER I SEE YOUR USERNAME ON MY TIME LINE phew and also i love you and pls take care of yourself <3

UM YOU ARE THE CUTEST THING EVER HELLO! I am so glad you came to say hi because this message made my day, my week, my month and i do not deserve you! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF HUN’ I LOVE YOU

17. @godlovesmcu hi !! i'm kinda new and i just posted my first drabble to go along with one of my moodboards ! it would be super cool if you checked it out (but you totally don't have to !)

the san-diego thing was AMAZING but i have to say i am just blown away by your moodboards honestly, just w ow

18. Your omegaverse aus (especially the one with starker on college and the one in which Steve finds homeless Peter) are my guilty. How you write omegas on those fics is so intriguing (and a little bit of creepy to me). I love them. Keep on writing!

THEYRE MY GUILTY TOO IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THEM. hahahah the creepyness is definitely me, im so thrilled you like them *blushing* more coming, i promise!

19. Do you know any starker where tony is dealing with internalised homophobia? He doesn't like that he's attracted to Peter, or when Peter comes out to him, tony isn't supportive ?

oohh! im afraid i don’t though the concept is intriguing, it sounds like there should definitely be fics out there and i’ll keep an eye out! there are many other starker blogs more knowledgable than me though, so ask around lovely, someone will be able to help you on your quest!

20. KSKSKSK BEAUTY AND THE BEAST AU PART THREE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

THERE WILL BE YOU GORGEOUS HUMAN.

#asks

18 notes · View notes

fatrainbowmermaidunicorn · 6 years ago

Text

Stay ( Jungkook x You ONESHOT)

Thankyou for this request anon! Sorry it took forever to get it done, and sorry its long (10k). But I hope you enjoy it <3 And requests are still open eventhough Im a bit slow these days. Sorry about that!

A/N: So I am currently writing a lot of stories based on cheating and it got me wondering, at what level should someone who cheats be forgiven? And at what level they shouldnt be? What are your thoughts on this? Should you forgive your partner who is cheating on you? Does the reason that leads them to cheat matter? Share with me your thoughts!

MASTERLIST

"I guess all those rumors were true," was all Y/N could managed to say while her eyes locked on Jungkook's brown ones. The eyes that used to look at her with love and adoration, now is filled with sympathy, and maybe, just maybe, a little guilt.

Rumors regarding Jungkook and another uprising girl group member has been going around for months, and being the doting girlfriend that she is, Y/N decides to trust Jungkook when he told her those were all rumors, a normal occurance for an idol like him, whenever she asks him about it. They have been together for almost six years, trusting him is just something she is so used to, and that's exactly what she did, without even a doubt in her mind.

But now...

Y/N went over to his dressing room during one of his music show although its not something that she usually do since no one other than the members and only some of the makeup artists and stylist knew about her existance as Jungkook's girlfriend. Its been six years but Jungkook still insisted to keep their relationship a secret, saying its for the sake of his career and his fans, but now she finally know the real reason why.

Jungkook left his wallet and phone that day, and after calling Jimin to asks their whereabouts, he told her that Jungkook always goes early to the venue whenever they have a show, and she should go straight there to see him. Went there she did, only to find her beloved boyfriend being straddled by the same rumored girl idol, skirt hitched up to her waist, her clothing scattered all over the floor, leaving her topless and panting on an equally shirtless Jungkook whose mouth is busy kissing her bare chest.

What's worse than seeing this is the fact that Jungkook calmly picks up her blouse that is on the floor to help her cover up, while she still stays on his lap, not even a slight remorse or guilt can be seen on his face.

"Hey babe, can you leave us alone for a while?" He turned to the girl who smile at him as she puts on her bloise and nodded. She leaned in to give him a peck on the lips, making Y/N closes her eyes as she feels her heart break into tinier pieces. The girl smirked at her as she passes by.

Jungkook sighed as he bends to pick up his own shirt and start buttoning up.

"I'm sorry you have to find out this way. Its not my intention,"

Y/N is speechless. How can the man who she had loved for the whole six years, and who she thought loves her back, be this cold and emotionless.

"I wanted to tell you soon. I just couldnt find the right time for it. But now you know," he stood up and look straight into her teary eyes. Y/N has lost all strength to yelled at him, or hit him or to just do anything. Jungkook doesnt seem to regret any of it, so whats the point for her to try scream and shout over it?

But still, there's something her broken heart needs to know.

"W-why? What did I do to make you stop loving me?"

Jungkook sighed and ran his hand through his hair before his eyes flickered back to her.

"Its nothing really. I just fall out of love," he said simply. Y/N's shoulders shakes as she tries her best to muffle her sobs when she hears his confession. Its been six long years, yes, but her love for him just gets stronger through every obstacle that they faced. She didnt think he would think the opposite. "Everything has becomes a routine for us. I want something new Y/N. I want adventures and fun. You... you just dont interest me anymore," his last sentence ends up in a whisper as the last effort to not hurt her.

Y/N cant stop her tears from flowing freely down her face anymore. She nodded weakly at Jungkook's emotionless face. She didnt know what to say. She didnt know what she should say.

"I'm sorry for thinking my love for you is enough," she whispered between choked sobs. "I love you Jungkook," Jungkook just stayed quiet as he looks at he hurt etched across the fcae of the woman he had loved for so long. "Just... just give me two days to clear up my things from the apartment... and... and I will be gone from your life,"

"Okay," he nodded before lowering his gaze. He thought he is going to be okay with this but it still hurts him to see Y/N cry. "I will give you the space you need and stay over at the dorm,"

Y/N looked over her shoulders one more time to the face that she loves and hate at the same time before exiting the now cold room. "Be happy Jungkook,"

/////

With non stop tears running down her face, Y/N threw her things inside the cardboard boxes that littered the whole apartment. It kills her to packed up every little memory she had build with Jungkook. Every single thing in the apartment reminds her of him, happy memories with him kept on replaying in her mind. The TV that she has turned on to keep her mind distracted while she packs start to play an entertainment news, and with her rotten luck, it showed a picture of Jungkook with the same girl from yesterday, now known as Yurin, finally announcing that they are officially dating.

Y/N felt her heart stops. It havent even been a day since she found out and Jungkook has already made a move. Six years their relationship was kept in the dark, always telling her he is not allowed to date and it people found out it would hurt his career. Six years of allowing herself to be fooled, always thinking and putting him first. Six years together, she had done everything with him and for him to just throw it all away... Y/N collapsed on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest as she buried her face and cry.

You can do this Y/N. You can be strong. You can let go.

After being curled up in a ball for almost an hour, she finally stood up with new determination and start to throw away every memory she had with him, picture frames, polaroids, tshirts, plushies, gifts from him, everything, into a pile as she packed up her things in a faster pace.

No more. No more Jeon Jungkook.

/////

Y/N smile as she look around the almost empty apartment. With her things gone, it looks almost unoccupied since Jungkook kept most of his things at the dorm. The movers has already brought down all her packed items and Y/N look around one last time, a small smile graced her face, along with a single tear that she quickly wiped away as she remembers for one last time the memory when she first moved in here with Jungkook. How happy they were back then.

Its over now. He has somebody new to make memories with. He dont love you anymore Y/N. Its over.

Its time for a new beginning. Y/N whispered to herself as she looks down at her flight ticket and the acceptance letter that she almost rejected at first because of Jungkook.

A new beginning without Jeon Jungkook.

/////

Jungkook lay down on his bed, tossing his phone around, something feels unsettled in his chest, when it dings, indicating a text from Yurin just came in.

"Another party Yurin? Really?" Jungkook sighed. Yurin is an uprising idol who is labelled as the IT party girl. For the weeks he had cheated with her behind Y/N's back, Jungkook felt alive. Going out to new restaurants, clubs and attending exclusive parties with a beautiful girl on his arms, but he's sick of it now.

Yurin loves showing whatever she does to the public. Its only been a day since they went public and she already showed millions of intimate moments of their relationship to the world. Private selfies, voice clips that Jungkook sang to her at nights, cute videos of their dates, everything. Jungkook knows his life as an idol was never going to be kept private anyway, but cant he just have a private moment with his girlfriend? Just cuddling and talking all night until the sun rises without it being posted on social media the next day?

Yes, Yurin is something fresh. Something new. Adventures and fun. But he didnt want that. He didnt want parties every weekends. He didnt want new suits and dresses everyday, just to attend another snobbish event. He didnt want rough nights together between the sheets but ended up sleeping with their backs facing each other. Those wasnt adventures.

Adventures are hiking up the hill at 4 am just to watch the sunrise together. Cooking home made meals that they never tried before together instead of dressing up and eating at these fine dining places that doesnt even taste good. Wasting his free day watching back to back superhero marathons, cuddled up in blankets, limbs tangling with each other. Passionate nights together that leads to pillowtalk, exploring their dreams and fears with one another. Dancing and singing to old pop songs while trying to clean the apartment but ended up only making it messier. Running around in the rain instead of waiting it out, only to be sick the next day. Sneaking out together to some run down diner in the middle of the night, meeting up with his hyungs, eating multiple burgers and ice cream, laughing the night away, only to work extra hard the next day to burn it all off.

Jungkook blinked as he realizes, those are the things he miss.

Those are things he used to do with Y/N.

He said he wanted new things. He wanted adventures. Something fun. That is what he said to Y/N when she asks him why. That is what he thought he wanted in Yurin. But Jungkook never realized that Y/N is everything he had ever wanted. She is the combination of familiarity and new memories. She is new experiences and familiar warmth.

Y/N is his home.

"What the fuck am I doing? What the fuck did I do to Y/N?!" Jungkook yelled to himself, surprising Jimin who passed by his room. "I need to go. I need to talk to her before its too late!" He grabbed his jacket and ran out, leaving a puzzled Jimin who didnt get a chance to ask him anything.

With panting breath Jungkook slammed the door opened only to be greeted with a cold and empty apartment. It doesnt smell like home. It doesnt feel like home. Not anymore. He stood in the middle of the empty apartment, realizing he's too late and Y/N is no longer here.

Jungkook noticed every single thing that is different. How the coffee table is no longer littered with her books, how there are no more fresh flowers in the vase beside the window, empty walls that's used to be filled with pictures of them, the smell of home cooked food that usually fills the air the moment he open the door, her favorite cartoon character cups in the kitchen shelf, the magnets that littered the fridge which she always bought when they went travelling together... everything is gone. And Jungkook has never felt more lonely.

He didnt know where else to go, so he ran to the only place he could think off; her office. The receptionist was shocked when she recognized who he is, but he doesnt care. If Y/N takes him back, he will tell everybody that will listen that they are together. That he loves her. That he's never going to let her go ever again.

"L/N Y/N. I need to see her," Jungkook asks still panting. The still shocked receptionist scrolled on her computer and after a few seconds, she looks up at him.

"Im sorry sir. There is no one that works here under that name," Jungkook furrowed his brows. He is pretty sure this is where Y/N works. He himself has dropped her here a few times before.

"Are you sure? This is XXX Enterprise right? Is there another one?" The receptionist shakes her head.

"No. This is the only one,"

"Then she must be here!" Jungkook slammed his clenched fist on the counter, making the receptionist jumped. "I need to see L/N Y/N!"

"But Sir. I.. I-"

"Did you say L/N Y/N?" Their conversation was interrupted by a girl who just came down from the building. Jungkook immediately rushed to her.

"Yes. Do you know her? Can you take me to see her?"

"I do know her but... I'm sorry. Y/N doesnt work here anymore. She quit with a 24 hours notice yesterday. I heard she moved somewhere out of the country," the girl explained, giving him a sad smile before walking away. Jungkook felt his knees wobbled as he hold on to the wall. It cant be true. It just cant be.What has he done? Did he really make her ran out of the country?

Where did you go baby? Please come back to me. Please stay. Please.

Jungkook walked out from the building, steps unpurposeful and defeated and unknowingly his feet brought him back to their shared apartment.

He was about to slumped himself on the sofa and just drowned in self pity when his eyes caught a box in the corner of the room. He walked over and saw its a box filled with their memories together

Did Y/N forget to bring this with her? Or did she intended to throw it out but forgot?

Jungkook sit cross legged in front of the box and start to take out the things inside. He automatically smile as his hand touched the first item. His white tshirt. Y/N loves to sleep in those. She says its comfortable and it smells like him, it helps her sleep better on the nights when he is away on tour. He sniffed the shirt and her scent start to filled his nose. He inhale and close his eyes as he starts to feel an ache inside his heart. He continues to rummaged through and found plushies he had won her on their first date from the claw machine, picture frames of them, the bracelet he bought her on their first anniversary. Every inch of their memory, Y/N has discarded and left it behind. The thought hurts him so much he feels suffocated.

The last item that is shoved to the bottom of the box is a scrap book that Y/N made for their six years anniversary. Its filled with pictures and momentos dated back from their very first date to their last one, which is almost months ago, making Jungkook realized how long he has been neglecting her. And yet, she had never once complained.

He flipped through the pages and saw pictures of him and his group winning awards, photos of their performances. Events that he never allow Y/N to attend under the false pretense that he is not allowed to date. Y/N never asks why, never once argued or demand anything from their relationship. Quietly watching her own boyfriend from behind a screen instead of being there with him celebrating.

Jungkook sighed and placed the scrap book down. Y/N never questioned any of his move. She trusts him and he broke that trust. For six years, all she wanted was for him to be happy. She's always there when Jungkook is stressed out over work, releasing his anger on her instead, but she always takes it with a smile. She's there when he's sick, always attending to him, making sure he and his group mates have enough to eat, bringing them lunchboxes during practice. Its not a question that his hyungs adores her. She's always considerate, understanding and consistantly asking what Jungkook needs and want.Even on the verge of breaking up, she didnt make a scene, agreeing quietly, respecting Jungkook's decision to stop loving her.

After six years, Jungkook only now realized he had never once asks her how she's doing. If school and work is hard on her, if she has a problem, if she's sick. Never once has he told her that she's already a perfect girlfruend for him and he loves her just for who she is. Jungkook starts to shake as his body try to hold in the hurt and tears he's feeling. The memory of her starts to haunt every inch of him, making him collapsed to the floor.

Where are you Y/N? Please come back to me. I need to tell you Im sorry. I need to tell you I love you. Come back. Please come back. Jungkook whispered repeatedly as he finally fall asleep with the shirt that still smell like her clutch tightly in his grasp.

/////

Jungkook immediately went to see Yurin the next day, explaning that their whole relationship is a mistake, consumed with lust and not love. He had expected her wrath but to his surprised, she was calm and agreed to his request to break up. Her only request is to wait a month before officially announcing it as it would damage her image if the news came out only a day after going public.

Months passed by and the two of them still maintained a great friendship, hanging out and still contacting one another. If only Y/N is back in his arms, then everything would be perfect.

"Good job everyone, see you tomorrow!" The cheographer clapped his hands, indicating the end of their practice for the day. Jungkook slide himself down on the floor and take out his phone as he gulped down from his water bottle. He scrolled through the pictures of him and Y/N and smile to himself.

"What's up with you? Do you have like a secret girlfriemd or something?" Jin elbowed him as he slide down beside him and take a swift of water. Jungkook just smile at his hyung. Without anybody's knowledge, Jungkook tried to find her everyday since she left, texting and calling her number, but never once received a reply. But it gives him hope when no one ever text him back saying he got the wrong number or the number is no longer in used. He is sure its still Y/N's and she is just ignoring him.

"Seriously, are you keeping something from us?" Jimin pouts.

He looked up at Jimin, almost opening his mouth and stop when he remembers that nobody knows the truth except for Taehyung. Jungkook came back to an empty dorm the next day with tears still evident on his face, only to be found by Taehyung who is actually sleeping and decided to stay home. Emotionally hurt and unstable, Jungkook let out everything to his hyung and makes Taehyung promise to never tell anyone about it.

"I-"

"Okay guys. Go shower. We have a meeting about the new variety show in 30," Namjoon announced making the boys groaned.

Freshly showered, the seven boys dragged their tired feet to the meeting room which is already filled with the production team and their own management team. Seating himself in the corner, Jungkook slumped down on his chair, tired. He dont really participate in these meetings anyways so maybe he can just dozed off. Namjoon and Jin can always fill him up later. After a while his manager clapped his hands.

"Okay. Its settled then. Take a look around guys, these are the faces you are going to be working with for the next one year or so," he told the room and everyone start to smile and busy themselves to look around, making themselves familiar with their new colleagues. Jungkook straighten up and scanned around the room too before his eyes fall on a girl seated way back on the opposite side, her hair and cap pulled low to cover her face. Jungkook continues to stare as there's just something familiar about her, but it seems she's trying hard to avoid looking at him or his hyungs.

Maybe she's a fan and she's starstruck?

To his luck, someone went over to greet her, and having no other choice, the girl raised her head to smile and greet the person back, revealing her face, making Jungkook's heart beat faster and eyes turned wide.

"Wait...Y/N?"

/////

Ahhh shit. Why do my first project has to involved Bangtan? Why does life hate me so much?

Y/N cursed herself as she walked alongside her team into the meeting room. After a year of studying abroad in broadcasting and production, she finally came back and was immediately hired by one of the big company in the field. Impressed by her skill, she was immediately assigned to her first project, which is an ongoing variety show which will take up to a year or more. Y/N is excited until she read the project paper and realized with who she will be working with.

Very soon after her departure, she starts to receive daily calls and texts from Jungkook. Texts that says he miss her and he loves her, asking for forgiveness. She ignored each and every one of it. Her heart almost gives in at first, but when she remembers the image of Jungkook and Yurin, the memory of how he told her he dont love her anymore, her heart starts to harden again. She still remembers the lain and its never going away.

Y/N thought she was doing well in hiding herself. None of the boys seems to recognized her. Until the manager asks them to look around and she saw Jungkook's curious eyes keeps on staring at her. She pulled her cap low, hoping she can make it until the meeting ends. She almost made it when one of the senior calls out to her and she has no other choice but to look up, and that's when she heard it.

"Wait...Y/N?"

Y/N ignores it. Hoping Jungkook would think he got the wrong person if she just stayed quiet. But the relentless boy stood up and walked closer, giving her no other place to hide.

"Y/N? Y/N, its really you!" You take a deep breath and turned to face him. It would be weird if you didnt since Jungkook is calling your name in the middle of a crowded meeting room. Still, you thank god the room is noisy with people greeting each other so no one is really focusing on the two of you. You turned, only to be faced with Jungkook smiling wide at you, bunny teeth showing and all, the smile so wide it stretch across his face. He took a step closer and reached out for your hand but you flinched away.

"Im not dreaming am I?" He asks more to himself rather than to you. "Y/N... its you. It really is you..." his voice coming out almost a whisper, she can see his eyes glisten. You look around, hoping something will save you from this awkward situation.

"He... hello, Jungkook-ssi,"

Jungkook's brows furrowed, confused. "Y/N. Its me. Why are you-"

"Okay, that's it for today! We shall meet again on the first day of recording. Thankyou everyone!" Someone said above the noise and everybody start to exit the room, Y/N being the first to grabbed her things and ran, leaving Jungkook standing there alone.

"Hey Kook. You okay?" Taehyung patted his back, confused by the maknae's weird behavior.

"She's back hyung. Y/N's back," he whispered, eyes still locked on the door.

"What?"

"Y/N is back. And I'm going to make her mine again,"

/////

"Okay, so let me get this straight," Namjoon huffed. "You cheated on Y/N with Yurin. Then she found out, and then you say all these nasty things to her. Y/N moved to another country before your stupid ass can figured out that you actually love her and made a mistake. And again your stupid ass have been pining on her since then, and now a year later she's back as a part of the production team and you want her back?"

Jungkook nodded eagerly, disregarding all the insults thrown at him. Namjoon give the back of his head a hard smack.

"Owh hyung!"

"You deserve it you idiot!" Namjoon snarled. "How can you do that?"

"Yes. You do. You do deserve it. In fact, give him another smack Joon," Jin said as he continue to eat his food from the takeout box. All seven of them are now gathered around the living room, eating their takeout after the meeting when Jungkook, after being coaxed by Taehyung, decides to tell everything to his hyungs. Its better if they know anyway. Namjoon land another smack on the side of his head as per Jin's request.

"Oww hyung. That really hurts!" Jungkook groaned as he rubbed his head.

"Good. It should hurt. Its nothing compared to the hurt Y/N felt. Why would she loves an idiot like you I will never know," Jungkook lowered his gaze.

"I know I hurt her hyung. But I was stupid," he mumbled. "I'm still stupid. But... I want her back. Please help me. I have waited for a year to see her again. Now she's right here. I will die if I lose her again," Jungkook begged. Yoongi rolled his eyes.

"Oh stop being so dramatic! This happened because of your own stupidity anyway,"

Taehyung chuckle while Jungkook pouts. "I think he really will hyung. I have known about this for almost a year now and he does look like he is dying sometimes," Taehyung backed him up.

"Yoongi hyung is just pissed because he likes Y/N. We all like Y/N. She's great! He is still angry at Kook for breaking up with her," Jimin helps to explain something that everybody already knew.

"Of course I am. She the only one who understand the importance of sleep when you imbecile starts to make ridiculous amount of noise and she feeds me too. Jungkook is an asshole," he growled, making Jungkook ducked his head. Its no secret that Yoongi adores Y/N. She is the only girl he has ever brought to his studio and even share some of his unfinished songs. His hyung adoration towards his girlfriend sometimes ignites his own jealousy. Yoongi is extremely pissed off when Jungkook dumped her for Yurin, but now that he know he actually cheated on her... he's fuming. "I should have just dated her instead," he added, although teasingly, but it makes Jungkook tense up.

"Hyung, no! Y/N is mine!"

"No she's not yours idiot," Jin stood up and gave him another smack in the head. "At least not anymore," Jungkook grumbled as he rubbed his head again as he decides to ignore what Jin said.

"So are you all going to help me?"

"Of course we are! We like Y/N," Hoseok cheerfully answered.

"But Jungkook, remember. We want her to be happy. If she decides she doesnt want to be with you anymore, then promise us that you will let her go," Namjoon warned sternly.

"But hyung..."

"Promise us,".

Jungkook ponders for a while. Letting her go? How can he ever do that? But Namjoon is right. Y/N deserves to be happy and if Jungkook is not what makes her happy, the right thing should be letting her go.

"Okay... I promise,"

/////

"Damn maknae, can you at least pretend that you are interested in the show?" Namjoon hissed at Jungkook, making the latter smile sheepishly and concerntrate to what the PD is explaning about the game they are going to play. How can he focus on some silly game when Y/N is right in front of him? Although she's trying to hide herself between the cameras and crew, Jungkook's eyes followed her like a radar. Its only the first day and he already cant control the urged to grab her and hug her tight. How is he going to make it through the whole year if Y/N decides she doesnt want him back?

"Hey Y/N," Jungkook smile at her, flashing his bunny teeth and turned to the crew she is talking to. "Can you excuse us for a while?" The crew bowed and leave, finally giving him a chance to talk to her alone.

"Hi Y/N," he tries again, still smiling. God, why am I smiling so much? Why do I sound like a love struck teenager? Jungkook scold himself and clear his throat to look cool. Y/N bowed and gave him a small smile.

"Hello Jungkook-ssi," Jungkook's smile dissappeared into a frown at her reply.

"Dont call me that. Dont act like you dont know me," his warm brown eyes looks sad as he stares into hers. "Please..."

"Im not doing anything," Y/N shakes her head. "We are just colleagues now Jungkook-ssi, I think its proper for us to keep our formalities," Jungkook sighed.

"Fine. Then can we be friends?"

"Its too early for that. We just got to know each other again," Y/N smile, making Jungkook's heart skipped a beat.

"Okay. Then I will make sure we will become friends," he smiled back. He is thankful enough that Y/N is atleast willing to talk to him after the shit he has done. "How are you? Im glad you are back," he said slowly. "I really miss you..." his voice is barely above a whisper.

"Erm, I..." Y/N felt awkward. She really didnt know what to say. Despite the way Jungkook broke things off with her, and how he cheated on her, Y/N doesnt hate him. Instead, she blames herself everyday for making Jungkook stop loving her. She told herself that she should have take care of her appearance more, be more interesting, more fun, anything. "Im doing fine,"

"Y/N...listen. I didnt get the chance to tell you before. The moment I found out you left I went to find you Y/N, but I was too late..." Jungkook lowered his gaze. "I'm sorry. Im sorry for everything. Im sorry for-"

"Its okay!" She cut him off in a rush. She really didnt want to talk about it. She doesnt want to remember the pain she felt when Jungkook said he dont love her anymore. Her still healing heart might just break again. "Its not your fault. People fall out of love all the time. Things that happened are in the past. Lets just keep it there,"

Jungkook is surprised at the hurt he's feeling. What does she means by its not his fault? Its no one's fault but his! "But Y/N, I-"

"Kookie!" Jungkook saw Y/N's eyes widen as she looks over his shoulder at the sound that is currently calling his name.

"Oh hey! I'm Yurin," the girl flashed her a smile. Oh Y/N knows alright. She will never forget the face she found kissing and doing more intimate things with her boyfriend a year ago.

"H..hi. I'm Y/N," Jungkook chewed on his lower lips, guilt and panic all over his face.

"Oh sounds familiar. But anyway, nice to meet you!" Yurin greet cheerfully and turned to Jungkook. "Oh Kookie, I wanted to tell you that my group is joining this variety too! We are doing it together! Isnt that great?"

"Wh..what?" Jungkook flickered his gaze from Yurin to Y/N. Y/N averted her eyes as she looks down. Its all too much. The way she held his arm. The way she calls him. The way she talks to him. Its all too much.

"I...I better get going. See you Jungkook-ssi,"

"Y/N, wait! I-" He couldnt finished his sentence before she has hurried away. He sighed in frustration as his eyes followed Y/N who is stopped by Taehyung and Yoongi who finally has the chance to greet her. He saw how Taehyung hug her tight and lifted her up, swinging her petite body around in glee and Yoongi swooped in and gave her another tight hug, burying his head in her hair, that lasted a little too long for Jungkook's liking. Taehyung then stilole her away again and kissed her forehead. Jungkook turned back to Yurin who is still happily telling him the news and excuse himself.

Why does Yurin has to appear right now?

/////

Jungkook looks out the window as the van take them to their next venue for the shoot. Its the second day of shooting, and Jungkook is excited to see Y/N again. Its only been a few days and he miss her already. He's going crazy thinking of ways to get her back. But what bothers him most is what Y/N told him.

Its not your fault. People fall out of love all the time.

What does she meant by that? How is everything that happened not his fault? Does she really believes that he didnt love her anymore? How can she still be so forgiving and pure after everything he did and say to her in the midst of their breakup?

Jungkook mainly stare at her during the whole shoot and he almost cried out in frustration when its over and he still didnt have a chance to talk to her. That is until Taehyung happily told them that he managed to coaxed Y/N to join them for dinner. Despite being happy that he can get some time with her, Jungkook still feel a little jealousy seeping in when he thinks how Y/N easily agrees to Taehyung request. He calmed himself, trying to remember that Y/N and Taehyung has always been close even before she is in an official relationship with him.

Its okay. They are just very close friends. Very close friends.

Jungkook sat opposite from her, right at the end of the table, at the restaurant while Taehyung sat on her right. He keeps on looking at her as he placed pieces of grilled meat and side dishes on her plate without saying anything. She didnt say anything either, as she slowly eats whatever Jungkook placed in her plate while she softly talks and laugh with Taehyung.

"Thankyou for dinner. It was nice spending time with all of you again," she smiled at them. The truth is, she miss them so much when she was away.

"Then you should come and hang out at our dorm again. Just like before!" Jimin suggested.

"Yeah. You can be on my team when we play video games. Chim and Kookie is always ganging up on me!" Taehyung pouts. Y/N laughs and pinched his cheeks.

"Aish, you are so cute Tae. I really miss you,"

"Hear that? Y/N miss me!" He squeals at the other members making them rolled their eyes. Jungkook who is watching the whole scene start to feel the same sense of jealousy seeping through again.

Why is she calling him Tae? Why is she telling him she miss him? Why is she touching him? Is something going on with them? Jungkook cant stop all these negative thoughts from running through his mind.

"So I will get going now," Y/N motioned to the opposite way of the road. Hoseok and Jin starts to nudge Jungkook with their elbow.

"What?" He hissed. They motioned to Y/N with their eyes.

"Gosh, you are so stupid," Jin hissed back. It took a while for Jungkook to finally understand what they meant.

"Oh!" He quickly ran after Y/N. "Y/N, let me walk you home," he said between pants as he fall in steps beside her.

"Oh. Its okay Jungkook-ssi. Im used to it. The air is nice and I dont live that far from here," she smile, declining the offer.

"No. I insist. How can I let you walk home alone Y/N. You know I always worry about you," his voice turned soft as he looks at her. Y/N kept quiet as the memories came back. Its true. Through the six years they were together, Jungkook always worry about her safety. He always makes sure that she never walks alone. On nights when he is busy, he will make sure to call her a cab or an uber and check on her the minute she arrived to her destination.

"Y/N...I'm sorry," his soft voice broke through her thoughts. "I want to tell you again and again that I'm sorry. I am so so sorry for everything I did," Y/N shakes her head.

"No. Its okay. We dont have to talk about it. Its-"

"No!" Jungkook raised his voice, startling her. "Its not okay. Me cheating on you is not okay! The things I said to you that day... its not okay. Everything I did to you is not okay. Scream at me Y/N. Hit me, hate me. Do anything. I will take it all. I deserve it all," he said as she took both of her hands in his, stopping them in their tracks. "Do something. Dont pretend that I didnt hurt you... I know I did... and I'm stupid for doing it," Y/N finally hear the regret and pain in his voice, something she didnt witness when he broke up with her, making her heart ache.

"Yes Jungkook," her voice suddenly broke the silence. "It hurts so much. Is that what you wanted to hear? It hurts so much, I feel like dying," Y/N speaks up, making Jungkook's head snapped up to her face. "A part of me died when you say that you dont love me anymore. Especially when I cant think of anything else but loving you," tears starts to spilled down her cheeks. "But I know I'm the one to blame. I was too comfortable with our relationship, I let it die. I stop doing things that interest you... and its fine. You deserve better. You always do," she looked to his eyes with her teary ones.

Jungkook shakes his head as he held her hands tighter. Is that what Y/N thought all this while? She blamed herself?

God, what have I done to you baby?

"Y/N. Its nothing like that," he whispered softly. His own tears threatened to fall but he blinked them back. "I thought I wanted something new, but I was wrong. You are everything that I have always wanted I have everything I need in you but I threw it all away. I'm sorry for making you doubt yourself. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry. I'm just so so sorry for everything," Jungkook exhale. "I have never stop loving you Y/N. Im sorry for what I said. I love you Y/N. I have waited for so long for you to come back. I have waited for so long to show you again how much I love you,"

Y/N is shocked by his confession.

"Y/N, I promise to shower you with everything that you deserve. I know I dont deserve you, but please... please give me a chance to make up for my mistake,"

Y/N shrugged off her hands from Jungkook's hold, making him startled. "No! Im sorry, but I cant Jungkook," her voice shakes from too much sadness. "You cant do this to me again. It hurts so much the first time. I tried everything just to get over you. You cant just come back in my life just so you can shatter by heart to pieces again. Im sorry, but I cant Jungkook," Y/N choked out between sobs as she start to turn around to run away but Jungkook was faster, grabbing her hands.

"Let me go... please,"

"I will. But you have to listen to me first!" Jungkook cried in desperation. "I know. I know I dont deserve you, I know that Y/N. But as much as I know that, I also know that I simply cant live without you. I love you too much. Losing you... it hurts. It hurts more than anything I have ever felt," he peeks into her eyes, making her look at him. "But I promise you this. You can run from me Y/N. You can leave and ran away. But I will chase after you. I wont stop chasing you, wherever you go, I will follow you, I will be right behind you. I will be right there, until you are fully healed and realized that I wont do anything to hurt you ever again," he said with determination as he lets go of his hold on her, letting Y/N ran off without looking back to him.

/////

Jungkook tried hard to show he meant what he said after that night. He starts to talk to her more eventhough she ignores him. He will invite himself to eat with her, join her on her breaks and walk her home, even without her asking or acknowledging it. It also doesnt help that the boys are starting to pull her into getting close with them again. Inviting her to dinner and movie nights, lunches and just hanging out with them at the dorm. With time, Y/N has opened her heart to at least be friends with him again.

Yurin who eyed their growing relationship starts to be consumed with jealousy. She agreed to the breakup because its what Jungkook wants. She believes that someday he will come back to her. But with this Y/N girl around... and looking at how love struck and smitten Jungkook is with her... she sense all hope for them dying. The truth is, she loves Jungkook and she will do anything to get him back.

And that is exactly what she's going to do.

Jungkook sniffed the bouquet of sunflowers that he just bought with a smile on his face. Its Y/N's birthday today and he has everything planned out. He's going to give her the sunflowers when he sees her, then the boys are taking her out for dinner after work and after that they are going to give Jungkook some alone time with her. Jungkook has booked a private observatory just for the two of them. Maybe its a little too much for someone who are "just friends" but he feels giddy thinking about laying down on the blanket and the picnic he prepared for them, looking at the beautiful night sky together.

He look for her everywhere but couldnt seem to find Y/N. She most probably have somewhere else to be. Running late for his first scene, Jungkook just placed the flowers in one of the rooms, knowing Y/N will find it since he has attached a card to them. He smile as he makes his way to his hyungs.

"You guys are on in about 10 minutes," Y/N peeked her head inside the girls' dressing room. Yurin and her group are now also a part of the show and although it kills her to see the face that haunts her nights everyday, she have to keep it profesional. Y/N was about to turn away when she heard the girl's conversation.

"How sweet is Jungkook? Its like you two never broke up!"

"Yeah. My ex would never would have bought me flowers. Especially without an occasion," another squeal. "Maybe the two of you would get back together!"

Y/N, given in to her curiosity, peeks her head again to see Yurin smiling so bright, holding a bouquet of sunflowers close to her chest.

Jungkook gave her flowers? I guess they are still close... And he didnt even wish me a happy birthday. Y/N thought sadly as she walks away with a burning ache in her heart.

Dinner was wonderful. The boys was so much fun to be with and the food is delicious. But she was more excited after Jungkook leaned in close to her and smile, whispering something to her that make her forget about Yurin and the flowers earlier.

"I have something special planned for your birthday after dinner. Just you and me,"

Y/N was excited as all of them picked up their coats and get ready to head out from the restaurant, she is more than ready for Jungkook's surprise. Who is she kidding? She has forgiven him long ago and her heart is already falling for him again. Y/N smile as she thinks about Jungkook. She can feel he has really changed this time.

Jungkook was just about to take Y/N's hand as they head out when his phone rings.

"Yurin?" He answered making Y/N and the other boys turned their heads to him. "Yeah, yeah of course. I will be right there. Dont worry. I will always be there for you," he spoke rapidly into the phone. Hearing Jungkook saying those words makes Y/N''s heart ache even more.

"Y/N... I'm sorry... but I have to-"

"Its okay. Yurin needs you right?" She asks cocking her head. The other boys stands awkwardly, not knowing what to do.

"Its not like that. I..." Jungkook sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. Leaving her for Yurin. Again. On her birthday. He knows this doesnt look good on him. Especially when he's trying so hard to win her back. But Yurin was crying on the phone asking him to take her to the hospital. He cant just leave her alone.

But looking at Y/N who's trying to hide her dissapointed face... it kills him. "About what I said earlier... Tae-hyung will take you there," he suddenly said while looking at a surprised Taehyung.

"Me?" Taehyung points to himself. "Urm yeah, yeah. That's right. Anything for the birthday girl," he flashed her his signature smile and offer his arm to her after Jungkook mouthed a 'please' to him.

"Oh no. Its okay Tae. You dont have to. I dont want to burden you," Y/N waved her hands.

"No. I insisted. A pretty girl like you shouldnt be spending her birthday alone. And its not a burden. In fact Im the lucky one to be spending some alone time with you," he wiggle his eyebrows making her laugh. Jungkook swallowed a lump in his throat as he looks at the love of her life links her arms to his hyung's and walking away. Taehyung has always been flirty, Jungkook knows that. But he also knows how his hyung has a soft spot reserved just for Y/N and how his eyes twinkle when he looks at her.

Dont fall for Taehyung Y/N. Not when I'm right here waiting for you.

/////

"Tae, its beautiful!" Y/N exclaimed as she looks up at the stars.

"Yes, it is..." Taehyung whispered as he keeps on looking at her. He still couldnt believe how Jungkook is stupid enough to have hurt such a wonderful girl like her. If he was given the privileged to own her heart, he will do anything to keep that smile on her face.

"Cant believe Jungkook prepared all this and didnt get to see it," at the sound of his friend's name, Taehyung snapped out from his thoughts and plopped down besides Y/N who is now sitting on the blanket. "But I guess Yurin is always more important," she said in a low voice as she lay her head on his shoulder. Taehyung wrapped his arms around her. He can see how much Y/N still loves his younger friend and how being so close to Yurin hurts her. Why cant Jungkook see that?

"Hey... dont be sad. Its your birthday," he replied softly as he kissed her head. "Jungkook cares about you, you know. He still loves you," it pains him to say it but if Jungkook is what makes Y/N happy, so he held it in. Y/N kept quiet, lifting her head, staring at the stars.

"Right now, I dont want to think about him Tae," she suddenly broke the silence. "Right now, I just want to enjoy this beautiful sight with you," she whispered as she snuggle closer, laying herself on his chest. "You are wonderful Tae. I wish you are the one I had fallen for..." her voice so soft, like she didnt mean for Taehyung to hear her but he did. Taehyung wrapped his hands tighter around her, feeling his heart skipped a little faster.

"Then fall for me Y/N," he whispered softly under his breath, making sure Y/N didnt hear him.

Jungkook cursed as he make his way back to the dorms after checking up on Yurin. He didnt know why she made such a big deal. When he arrived, Yurin just actually have a little cold. With frustration, he went to get her some medicine from the drug store and went home after giving them to her. Because of her, he missed out on a romantic night with Y/N on her birthday. Because of her, his hyung is spending some time alone with Y/N, doing God knows what. What if Y/N fall for Taehyung while looking into each other eyes under the stars? Those kind of thoughts fills his mind all night, especially when he realized Taehyung is still not back hours after he was supposed to. Jungkook sighed and forced himself to sleep while thinking of the good memories he used to have with Y/N.

Jungkook tries to make up for that night the next time he sees her by asking her out for a coffee date during one of the shoots break time. Y/N agreed and told him to just wait for her at the cafe as she has things to finished up first.

Ordering her favorite drink, smiling to himself when he realizes he still remembers, he sat down at a corner by the large glass window, patiently waiting for her.

"Hey Kookie. What are you doing here?" He groans as he looks up and see a smiling Yurin.

"Im actually waiting for Y/N,"

"Oh? Maybe I should keep you company while you wait for her. I have no where to go right now anyway and its so cold outside," Yurin took a seat without bothering to wait for his permission. Although annoyed, Jungkook and Yurin still has a decent conversation with each other. He still enjoy her presence. After all, they did used to date.

She suddenly blinked rapidly and squeal.

"What's wrong?"

"There's something in my eyes. Can you help to blow it away?" She asks as she squint. Jungkook stood up and leaned across the table, first softly tucking her stray hair behind her ear and blow into her eyes.

"Is it gone now?" She shakes her head.

"No. Lean in closer. Can you check if there's anything in my eye?" Jungkook, not doubting anything leaned in closer across the table, peering into her eyes, their faces are so close she can feel his warm breath on her face, his scent making her dizzy. She suddenly bumped her head to his, making their lips touched for a second.

"Oh Im sorry. It was an accident," she smile sheepishly. Jungkook just grunted and sat back down before he turned to the window. What he saw outside almost make his heart stop. Y/N is standing there staring at them and Jungkook knows she must saw what had just happened between him and Yurin and get the wrong idea. Jungkook immediately stood up to go out to her but the moment she realized Jungkook is looking back at her, she stumbled on her feet and fell down scraping her knee. She quickly stand up and ran away.

Jungkook ran after her, figuring our she must have went back to the shoot since they still have another scene later. Reaching the set, panting and breathless, Jungkook search everywhere for Y/N. After a while he finally found her, but not in the situation he has been expecting. Y/N was perched up on a table, her face wet with tears as Taehyung kneeled in front of her, cleaning her wounded knee from the fall earlier. Jungkook can feel his body starts to be consumed wirh anger and jealousy as he marched into the room.

"What are you doing hyung?!"

"Im cleaning Y/N's wound. Cant you see?" Taehyung replied, raising his eyebrow. Jungkook came closer and grab the hand that is touching Y/N's knee.

"Dont touch her!" His aggressive behavior surprised both himself and Taehyung, and of course Y/N herself. "I...I mean, let me do it,"

Taehyung hesitates for a moment but after looking at the two of them, he decides to give them space. "Fine. But if you hurt her again, I will kill you," he whispered to the maknae as he passes by to exit the room.

Jungkook kneeled down and start to continue cleaning the wound. Y/N shivers the moment Jungkook's warm fingers touch her cold skin and a fresh batch of tears starts to erupt.

"Y/N, its not like what you think," Jungkook srood up to level himself with her. "What you saw, its not like that,"

"I...I didnt see anything,"

"Then why are you crying?"

"Im crying because it hurts. My knee hurts," she whimpered. Jungkook smile.

"The Y/N I know didnt even bat an eye when she broke her arm. I dont think she will cry this hard because of some tiny wound on her knee," his face is so close to her, she can feel him breathing as she closes her eyes. "Y/N... I'm sorry," he leaned in closer. "Please believe me. There is nothing going on between me and Yurin. We-"

The mentioned of Yurin's name makes something snapped inside of Y/N, making her eyes opened and pushed Jungkook away, startling him. She climbed down the table and walk to further herself away from him.

"No. I cant do this anymore," she said in a shaky voice.

"Y/N, what are you talking ab-"

"This. Being this close to you. Pretending to be friends with you. I cant do it anymore. Not when the image of you and Yurin still haunt me everyday. I cant do it anymore Jungkook," she yelled. Jungkook is shocked. Y/N was never like this. She is always calm and composed. What has he done to push her to become this?

"Y/N. Please listen to me. I lov-"

"Dont say anything. Just dont," she cut him off, shaking her head. "You have hurt me enough Jungkook. Please... I dont want to hurt anymore. Please, just leave me alone!" She turned around and exited the room, living Jungkook alone, shaking to the bones trying to comprehend what just happened.

/////

Y/N avoided him and his hyungs since then. Jungkook didnt know what else to do. How can he be so dumb? How can he not see what Yurin is up to? He finally found out the scheme Yurin is planning to ensure he and Y/N will never be together when he overheard her talking to one of her groupmates. He finally found out about the flowers, about the fake sickness, how she had planned everything to always ended up wherever Jungkook and Y/N is headed and how she staged the whole accidental kiss in the coffee shop. Jungkook is furious. Furious at her for being such a bitch. Furious at himself for falling for her trap. He should have known better to stay friends with a girl like Yurin.

And now he's going to lose Y/N all over again.

"I told you I will kill you if you hurt her again!" Taehyung slammed Jungkook's bedroom door open. Jungkook looks at him with no emotions in his eyes. That's how he is since Y/N told him to stay away form her. To stop hurting her. Her words keeps replaying in his mind and it kills him to know that that's what Y/N thought of him. As someone who continuously hurts her.

"Go away hyung,"

"No! After what you did, this is how you are going to act?!"

"What do you want me to do hyung? I am not good for her. I hurt her. Thats all I do. I know Im stupid, an idiot. Whatever it is you came here to say to me, I already know it. So just get on with it and leave," Jungkook turned around in his bed, showing his back to Taehyung.

"You are really a fucking asshole Jungkook. I dont know why she loves you. I dont even know why I'm doing this when I know you will just hurt her again. But..." Taehyung's voice soften. "She's leaving again Kook. She resigned and she's boarding a train today. She's leaving,"

"What?" Jungkook immediately sat up.

"She's leaving and she's not coming back. If you truly loves her, go now. Go and fight for her now!" Jungkook, without waiting for anything else jumped out of bed and ran outside the door.

I'm coming Y/N. Dont leave. Please dont leave me.

With the information that Taehyung has texted him with, Jungkook managed to reached the platform in time, having even to buy a random ticket to get in. He searched around everywhere and finally found the person he was looking for.

"Y/N..." Y/N turned around at the sound of her name, surprised to see the man she loves standing there, looking disheveled.

"Jungkook? Wh...why are you here?"

"Please dont leave me again. Please Y/N. Please stay with me..." He walks closer to her as Y/N chuckle through her tears.

"I didnt leave you the first time Jungkook. You left me. You left our relationship remember?" She said softly. Jungkook stand in front of her, both of them facing each other, having so much to say but also nothing at the same time.

"I'm sorry Y/N. But please stay with me this time. I... I love you. I love you so much," Jungkook's voice is broken, as broken as his heart.

"I cant. I'm sorry but I cant. I dont want to hurt anymore Jungkook. Being here... with you... my heart will never heal," she said softly. Jungkook didnt get to say anything as the train speeds in, blocking all sounds. "I have to go now. I'm sorry. I'm sorry Jungkook," Y/N said one last time with tears flowing down her face as she turnd away to the train's entrance. Jungkook can feel her vision gets blurry as tears starts to flood his eyes.

This is it. This is the moment he will lose her forever.

And there's nothing more he can do to make her stay.

"Be happy Y/N. I love you," he gave her a small smile and turned away, not willing to look at the girl he loves boarding the train that will take her away from him forever.

Jungkook fell down to his knees as he hear the sound of the train drove away, taking along his heart away with it. He sat there on the floor, crying his heart out.

"Yah, Jeon Jungkook!"

Jungkook wiped his eyes. Is he dreaming? That sounds like...

He turns around to see Y/N still standing there, wind blowing her hair and face a wet mess with tears, but never looking as beautiful as she did in this moment.

"Y..Y/N?"

"How can you just let me go like that!" Y/N walks closer and hit his chest. "You promised me that night. You promised me that you wont stop chasing me Jungkook. Did you already give up on me?" She cried out. Jungkook grabbed her tiny wrists, halting her from continuosly hitting his chest. He pulled her into a hug and buried his face in her hair while her cries is muffled by his broad chest.

"N..no. I would never give up on you baby. I would never," he whispered. "But I promised you that I wont do anything to hurt you ever again. And being with me is what hurts you Y/N," he sniffled. Y/N pulled her face from his chest to look at him.

"You are an idiot. You are really an idiot Jeon Jungkook," she starts to hit his chest again. "How can you ever think for a moment that I would be happy without you? You may have broken my heart into pieces Jungkook, but without you, I wont ever be able to piece it back together. Maybe that makes me an idiot, but that is what I am. An idiot for you," her tears starts to flow again. "I love you so much Jungkook. I love you. Please. Please promise me that you will love me. You will keep on fighting for me this time. You will stop hurting me," her voice soft as she begged, breaking Jungkook's heart. Never again would he want to hear his love begged to be loved by him.

"Baby," he cupped her cheeks and wiped her tears with his thumb. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. But I promise this time I wont ever do anything to hurt you ever again. If I could turn back time, I would take away all the pain I have put you through. I will fight for you everyday. Even when you are mine, I will still fight for you. I wont ever take you for granted ever again. I will cherished you, love you, worship you,"

"Just promise me you wont hurt me ever again. Just promise me Jungkook,"

"I promise baby. I swear with my life that I will do everything I can to make you happy with me," he kissed her forehead. "Thankyou for taking me back baby. Thankyou for giving me a chance. Thankyou for staying,"

"I have never left Jungkook. Because you have taken my heart from the very first moment we met, and you never did give it back. So in here," she pokes his heart, "is where I will stay, forever,"

#bts #bts fiction #bts scenario #bangtan boys #bangtan #bangtan scenarios #BTS jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook #juungkook scenario #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #kpop #kpop fanfiction #kpop scenario

466 notes · View notes

hanniejji · 6 years ago

Text

TAGS UWU

So I was tagged three times and since I wasn't able to do it on my phone I had to do it on my computer lmao anyway I got tagged by my sweet cakes(@hyunjinsgiggle ), the sunshine (@felegs ), and this cutie (@stayuwu ) this is going to be long btw im sorry and the ending is very depressing ignore it

Bold Tag

Rules: bold the ones that apply to you!

Appearance:

I’m over 5'5 / I wear glasses/contacts / I have blonde hair / I wear sweatshirts a lot / I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing / I have one or more piercings / I have at least one tattoo / I have blue eyes / I have dyed or highlighted my hair / I have gotten plastic surgery / I have or had braces / I sunburn easily / I have freckles / I paint my nails / I typically wear makeup / I don’t often smile / I am pleased with how I look / I prefer Nike to Adidas / I wear baseball hats backwards

Hobbies and talents:

I play a sport / I can play an instrument / I am artistic / I know more than one language / I have won a trophy in some sort of competition / I can cook or bake without a recipe / I know how to swim / I enjoy writing / I can do origami / I prefer movies on TV shows / I can execute a perfect somersault / I enjoy singing / I could survive in the wild on my own / I have read a new book series this year / I enjoy spending time with friends / I travel during school or work brakes / I can do a handstand

Experiences:

I have had my first kiss / I have gotten drunk / I have told a crush I like them / I have traveled outside of the country / I have flown on an airplane / I have stayed awake for more than 48 hours / I have had a near-death experience / I have caught something on fire / I have performed in a talent show / I have shot a gun / I have been on TV / I have gone scuba diving / I have broken a bone / I have slow-danced / I have gone on a shopping spree

Relationships:

I am in a relationship / I have been single for over a year / I have a crush / I have a best friend I have known for over ten years / my parents are together / I have dated my best friend / I am adopted / my crush have confessed to me / I have had a long-distance relationship / I am an only child / I give advice to my friends / I have made an online friend / I met up with someone I have met online

Aesthetics:

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell / I have watched the sun rise / I enjoy rainy days / I have slept under the stars / I meditate outside / the sound of chirping calms me / I enjoy the smell of the beach / I know what snow tastes like / I listen to music to fall asleep / I enjoy thunderstorms / I enjoy cloud watching / I have attended a bonfire / I pay close attention to colors / I find mystery in the ocean / I enjoy hiking on nature paths / Autumn is my favorite season

Miscellaneous:

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle / I am the mom friend / I live by a certain quote / I like the smell of sharpies / I am involved in extracurricular activities/ I enjoy Mexican food / I can drive stick-shift / I have memorized an entire song in a day / I believe in true love / I dream up scenarios to fall asleep / I sing in the shower / I wish I lived in a video game / I have a canopy above my bed / I am Multi-racial / I am a redhead / I own at least three dogs / I am LGBR

I'm about to answer 33 questions wow I feel like I'm on an examination

11 questions tag

by sweet cakes:

1. what is your fashion sense?

I have a lot of styles depending on the weather or my mood. I mostly do the sweater/jacket + high waisted shorts hehe or turtle neck + shorts + cardigan/jacket. when I'm lazy, which is always, I wear an oversize hoodie and shorts and the occasional cap hihi I have a weird sense of fashion

2. what is your favourite season?

I like rainy, or windy. any is fine as long as I don't sweat like hell adfaslsja I hate summer

3. if you could go on holiday anywhere, where?

I love going to beaches but tbh anywhere with good views is fine, it doesn't matter since the most important thing for me is that I get the experience and take lots of photos if they have a lot of delicious foods then that's better oof

4. what is one quote you live by?

"learn to stand on your own feet" has a very special place in my heart

5. would you ever get a tattoo, and if so, what and where?

I would want a snowflake, because we're not alone falling down

6. what is your favourite song at the minute?

at the moment, it's nobody knows by youngjae and fine by yugyeom ✨✨

7. what is one album you would listen to for the rest of your life?

I still listen to Linkin Park songs because of the meaningful and relatable lyrics

8. what is your favourite memory from the last year?

it has to be the one time my mom said she's proud of me :')

9. what is one regret you have?

not being able to make friends easily :'( I find it hard to do

10. would you change aforementioned regret?

maybe :'(

11. if you could have any food in the world to eat right now, what would it be?

How dare you make me choose I can't possibly choose between different varieties of foods :'( fries, frappe, and shawarma w/o cucumber pls

by sunshine 🌞

1. what’s one thing that helps you relax?

probably sleeping with soft background music

2. what’s your favorite novel and author?

I'd rather poetry :') sea of strangers by lang leav is amazing

3. are you an affectionate person? if so, how do you show affection?

I'm more like the closet affectionate person hehe but when I'm tired or sleepy I get clingy a lot but I'm mostly through small actions, I'm not comfortable with saying "I miss you" or whatever unless I'm typing them

4. are you an early bird or a night owl?

totally a night owl

5. if you’re comfortable with it, do you have a song you connect to something or someone, and if so, what is it?

sorry by halsey, broken home by 5sos

6. if you could go back to a place you’ve been to before, where would it be?

the beach we went to last vacation :')

7. what does your favorite piece of clothing - that you own yourself - look like?

a very comfy oversized hoodie, it's black with front pocket, sweater paaaaws, and it has a small doodle of neptune on the back

8. who’s your bias and why?

bias? I don't know her

9. do you believe in luck and miracles?

yas, my aunt is actually a fortune teller? idk? but she knows a lot about those and spirits thing but since I have low self confidence I mostly sound like I don't believe in them

10. what’s your favorite type of decorations?

aesthetic and pastel colors ✨

11. do you prefer being outside or inside?

booooth

by cutie :

1. Are you a daydreamer? If so, what do you dream about?

sometimes I just space out without even realizing

2. What’s your favorite place in the world?

home

3. What’s home to you?

somewhere that no one can judge me, a safety place, a place where I can let loose and be comfortable and not give a care about anything

4. This is not a question but quote a vine.

"oh hell noOooOoOOoOooOooOO"

5. Grey’s anatomy or House?

what i don't watch any of these

6. Do you have any pets?

a lame excuse of a cat

7. What kind of friend are you? (You know, the mom friend, the meme friend, etc).

the mom friend, scolds you 25/8, gives advises everywhere, comforts you, takes things seriously, drops everything just to listen to you unless I'm in a very bad mood, sacrifices for you, boyfriend material (according to my friend), secretly soft, lazy but exerts effort when needed, randomly does weird things and dances to fortnite, supports you, but lowkey doesn't do the same for myself lol because I'm emo and you can hear me saying bad things about myself 27/10 and pushing you away lol

I don't share my food unless you're important lmao

8. Do you hate someone? If so, why?

fake peopleeee

9. What’s your dream job?

to be a journalism

10. What MCU character resembles you the most? (not physically, more like mentally and emotionally).

probably wanda

11. I won’t use this eleven question as an actual question, use your right to answer to this to talk about whatever the fuck you want. Rant, fangirl, talk about what you did today or yesterday or whatever. Just talk.

I just want to cry to someone but I don't have the heart to tell anyone, I don't know why but I get stressed so easily and that one time our nurse had a seminar and asked if anyone is depressed, I just want to raise my hand but I'm too scared someone will judge me and think of me as a weak person, like now, and she started this speech about how to beat depression and I just can't understand how is that going to work because it doesn't work on me. I'm getting tired of constantly getting sad for no reason and it's bothering my classmates and I hate bothering them I feel like I'm annoying so I kept these thoughts to myself. It's hard trying to avoid spacing out and being so quiet all of the sudden, I'm getting mad at myself for being pathetic and I did the "do" once because I was so desperate to feel something other than sadness and I couldn't even tell anyone and right now I feel like this rant I'm doing is bothering everyone I hate being like this :'(

I'm doooonneee hehehehe that took me like a long time and I should really sleep now :') I will reblog this with my 11 questions and tags because tumblr has limits ugh

2 notes · View notes

mellicose · 7 years ago

Text

That Woman Over There - Chapter 23

A You Me and Him Fix-it Fic

Rating: Teen, for some mature themes

Word count: 3832

Warnings: none

Summary: ~ Set after the birth of Monty, Olivia’s baby ~ A dear friend of Olivia comes to visit for a week, and she disturbs the fragile peace between her, Alex, and John.

Alex slammed into the gallery, cursing. She forgot to bring a damn umbrella, of all things. She shook herself off and threw down her bag. Rainwater dripped off it, to the parquet floor. The place was eerily dark. She wondered whether it was on purpose. She sniffed at the air. It smelled a bit like John’s house.

Her chest burned. “Fuck,” she said out loud. She wondered whether he hated her, and whether she’d ever smell his house again. She looked around and noticed pieces of art in pools of light. She walked to the closest one.

A painting. Fleshtones. Abstract, but the image began to take form in her brain almost immediately. Bodies. There was something about the sumptuous curves of the negative spaces … but she felt like she was missing something. The paint had a matte quality, a texture that fascinated her.

“It looks like living, breathing flesh, no?”

“Goddamnit!” she said, jumping aside. A lithe man in a striped t-shirt and a pair of jeans stood behind her.

He stood beside her and smiled a cheshire cat grin that was oddly nostalgic. He hugged his slim arms.

“Flesh, no?” he repeated.

“Yes, but there’s something off. I can’t tell where one body ends and the other begins,” she said. Her heart was only slowing now. He drifted the scent of cedar to her. Cedar and … violet? Her eyes drifted to him again. He wore a neat goatee and mustache, and his eyes were the color of his hair - golden brown.

He nodded, and stretched. His shirt rode nearly to the bottom of his ribcage. His smooth belly flexed. His jeans rode low on his hips, and she saw so much happy trail it made her blush.

“You can look away at any time,” he said, giving her a half grin. She didn’t know she was staring. “Not that I mind. You’re cute.”

Her cheeks were hot. Whether it was embarrassment or something else, she didn’t care to figure out.

“You are Alex?” he said, turning to her.

“How’d they get the paint to look like that?” she said, looking back at the painting.

“I don’t know how she does it. That’s why it’s here,” he said.

“Ah,” she said. “Yeah. I’m Alex.” She held out her hand. Again, he smiled as they shook hands.

“How professional,” he said. “You’ve got a firm handshake.”

She shrugged. “Want to see my work?”

“Of course. No more flirting. Straight to business.”

“I’m not flirting,” she said, walking to her bag and digging in it for her laptop. “I’m-” she stopped. She was going to say she was gay. But it wasn’t true. At least, not all the way true. But she could still say it. She gave him a sidelong glance. She decided against it.

“You’re what?” he said. “Taken? If so, I’m sorry.”

She frowned. “No. Not taken.” She coughed.

He nodded. “Come, let’s go upstairs. There’s more light in my flat.” He walked to the far corner. He opened a door to an elevator.

“It’s one of those fancy personal ones,” she said as she entered behind him.

“Yeah. I don’t want a nosy visitor finding their way to my personal space,” he said. He punched in a code. It moved up smoothly. She caught another whiff of cedar.

“Again, you’re sniffing,” he said, smiling.

“Oh. Yeah. You smell a lot like a friend of mine,” she said, smiling bashfully.

“You close?” he said, opening the door. Beyond, was open space with islands of tasteful furniture.

“He’s my best mate,” she said. She hoped it was still true.

“He has good taste, then.”

“It’s not a perfume. It’s, uh, he works with wood, so the smell sticks to him.”

“Carpenter?” he said as he guided her to what looked like an office.

“Artist,” she said confidently. “He makes beautiful things. Precious things. You know, keepsakes.”

“Ouiai,” Alphonse said, and offered her a seat in front of his computer.

“The screen big enough for ye?” she said, and chuckled. It was at least 45 inches.

“I use this to view art,” he said.

“Sure, mate. Art.” she said, and handed him her USB with a sardonic grin she couldn’t wipe off.

His lips trembled with mirth. “You’re not terribly formal, are you?” he said.

“Should I be? This isn’t like, a proper interview, is it?” she said, and slung a leg over the arm of the office chair. “This chair’s rad, by the way. It’s ergonomic, right?”

“Maybe not how you’re using it,” he said. The screen came on and she lost her balance and fell back.

“Holy fuck! I can see colors I didn’t even know existed,” she said, crawling back up to the desk and standing up. “Sorry about the language.”

“Speak however you like. This isn’t the Vatican,” he said.

She looked over his shoulder.”There’s the folder with my work.”

She swore when he clicked on the first photo. “That’s bloody gorgeous,” she said. “Okay, you’re absolutely right. This screen is a requirement. All I’ve got is my mam’s grotty little 200 quid laptop. I can see every single brush stroke with this thing.” She leaned forward. “It’s brilliant.”

“Now you see the method to my madness,” he said.

“Yah, I do. It’s definitely not just for porn,” she said. She nodded.

He burst out laughing. “You have absolutely no filter, do you?” he said.

“Why? Should I? I have a feeling the posh art buyers might cringe at me, eh?” she said.

“Maybe you’re not the affected art school type, but it honestly doesn’t matter. Most of them don’t even know what they’re looking at anyway. They just buy to say they did. It’s very rare to find collectors with an actual eye for talent. That’s where I come in.”

“You’re an art dealer,” she said, emphasizing the last word. “You make the good shit available to ‘em.”

“Exactly,” he said.

“You scare your fancy customers down there?”

“You were in my space,” he said.

“You could’ve made noise walking up, like normal people.”

He crossed his legs, and she noticed that he was barefoot. “Again, my space.”

She smiled. “Sorry. But I almost wee’d myself.” She squirmed.

“You need the loo?” he said.

“I think so,” she said. He pointed to a frosted glass cube in a corner of the apartment. She sighed. “Seriously?”

He winked. He watched her walk away. She was a bit rough around the edges, but her honesty was refreshing. Perhaps he had been around posh art students for too long. Even her shape was more inviting – curvy in places where so many others had on-trend angles.

“This is ridiculous,” she yelled as she closed the glass door behind her. “There’s no privacy whatsoever.”

“I live alone,” he said. He felt strange yelling in his own apartment.

“And when you have … guests?” she said.

“I don’t really hold parties in this space – any guests here are usually beyond that kind of embarrassment.”

“Oh. Yeah,” she said, and flushed. She looked around. There was a large shower in front of her, also glass. It was fancy in a way that made her uncomfortable. She couldn’t imagine washing her body in a place like that. And it was a place, not just a shower. The chrome fixtures gleamed, and the bottles on the shelf were not in English. She wondered whether they smelled like wood. She washed her hands, saw no towel, and dried them on her shorts. She felt weird letting the water dry on the sink. It would get spots.

“Hey, do you wipe down the sink?” she said as she walked back up.

“Shhhhhhh,” he said. He leaned forward, looking intently at one of her blue period pieces. At least, that’s what she called it. It was not naturalistic, but also not as abstract as some of the pieces she saw downstairs. “Viens-ici,” he said, and beckoned to her. “Tell me about this.”

She took a deep breath. “It’s the last piece I painted before I stopped for a while. I just sort of … sat in front of a canvas and let the brush do the talking.”

“Yes, it speaks volumes,” he said. He hugged himself again. “What’s most striking is that although the composition hints at desolation, you did not use the stereotypical washed out palette. It’s searingly bright.”

“I couldn’t stand using muted colors.” She echoed his action, hugging herself. “She deserves better than shades of gray.” She shivered.

“She?” he said.

“Jo,” she said softly.

“An ex?” he said.

“My daughter, who died last year right before being born.”

He gasped.”Ah, petite. J'en suis désolé,” he said. He patted her hand, and for some reason, she burst into tears again. He stood and hugged her. She wrapped her arms around his narrow frame and wept into his chest.

“I’m a mess. I’ve had the worst day ever. I think I just lost everything.”

“How do you mean?” he said.

It surprised her that he even cared. She didn’t know where to start. He was a stranger, so lying wasn’t worth the effort.

“My fiancee just broke up with me. She was right to do it. And I just fucked up my relationship with my best mate. At least, if he’s got any sense.”

“Eh,” he said. He didn’t expect the full truth. She was extraordinary.

“When you say “just”, do you mean in the last month or something?” he said. He rubbed her back. Her hair smelled like cigarette smoke and satsuma.

“I mean, today. Earlier.”

He pulled her away to look at her. “Putain. And you’re here?”

“I’ve got nothing left … what’s your name again?” She wiped her face with her arm.

“Alphonse. You can call me Alfie if you like.”

“Alfie. Sounds posh,” she said. “You don’t like Alphonse?”

“I’m named after my dad. He’s as asshole,” he said.

“‘Least you know ‘im,” she said, and sniffed.” I’ll call you Alfie, then. Don’t wanna be bringing back any bad memories. I don’t usually get like this.” She finished wiping her eyes, but her lips still quivered.

“You want a beer?” he said.

“God yes,” she said. He ran to the kitchen space and opened a giant fridge built into a brick wall “Jesus, man, got enough space in there?” she said. There was actual food in it. Like John, he liked to cook.

“You peckish? I’ve got some leftover cold sesame noodles,” he said, putting two bottles of beer on the counter. She shrugged, but approached the counter, curious. He pulled out a plastic tub and opened it.

“It’s not takeaway,” she said. The noodles were glossy with oil, and dotted with toasted sesame seed and green onion. “Smells amazing.”

“I made them for dinner. As ever, I made too much. I suppose some habits die hard,” he said, and handed her a fork.

“Cooking a lot?” she said around a mouthful of noodles.

“Adjusting to cooking for one again,” he said, and sat on a stool opposite her. “Tell me more about that piece. I noticed that it’s unfinished. Or am I wrong?”

She took a sip of her beer. “That’s perceptive,” she said. “This is delicious, by the way. Better than from a restaurant.”

“Merci,” he said. “I have a mild obsession with asian cuisine.”

“Was your ex girlfriend from there?” she said, taking another generous mouthful.

“Perceptive,” he said. She winked. “No, she isn’t. She’s Portuguese. But she’s a chef who specializes in pan-asian cuisine. She got me hooked.”

“She’s a chef? If I dated a chef I’d gain two stone in a year,” she said. “I’d wear it as a point of pride.”

He laughed. “I wish, but I can’t. Genetics won’t really let me gain much of anything. Some might consider it a blessing. I guess it is.” He shrugged.

“Uhuh,” she said. “I was like that until I hit 25. After that, things started happening in this area,” she said, gesturing to her middle.

“I’m quite a few years over that, and nothing’s happened yet,” he said.

“How old are you?”

“39,” he said.

“Really? You look amazin’, bruv,” she said. She blushed at the ease with which she gave him the compliment, but she didn’t regret it. He beamed.

“I avoid sunlight whenever possible,” he said.

“Okay, Nosferatu,” she said. She looked at the sweating bottle of beer in front of her. She liked him. He seemed like a good bloke, and he hadn’t acted funny when she burst into tears. She didn’t know what she expected when she came, but definitely not him. She looked at him. His eyes were gold, with flecks of green near the iris. It was one of her favorite color combinations.

“You’re staring again,” he said. She was so zoned in she didn’t see his smile.

“Your eyes. The green is nice,” she said, then stuffed her hands in her pockets.

“Thanks. My maman has Persian blood. I get my eyes from her,” he said. “And in more ways than one. She’s the artist. My father thinks art is a hobby.”

She snorted. “My mam’s the same. She thinks I should go to school to become a nurse’s assistant. But I can’t stand the sight of blood. I’m working on being a teacher, maybe.”

“Maybe?” he said, opening another beer for her. She took it gratefully.

“Liv, my fi-my ex-fiancee, suggested it. She had a baby too, Monty. He’s the sweetest little guy you’ll ever meet. He’s gonna be one year old in a month and a half.” She took a deep swig of beer. Her eyes started to swim again. He walked beside her.

“He’s going to be one. And you said you lost Jo last year…” he said.

“It’s a hella long story, mate,” she said. “And you’re a stranger.”

“I’ve got an empty dance card and a case of beer,” he said, walking to a nearby sofa. “Let’s get acquainted.”

She stared out one of his large windows. The night was setting in, and it was pouring rain.

“I think we should wrap up the art stuff. It’s pissing outside and I’ve got to take a train back to Bristol...” her voice failed. She didn’t know where she was gonna go once she got there. She would have to speak to Olivia, then her mam. She dreaded the latter far more than the former.

“I can give you a ride to the station, if you like,” he said.

“Ah,” she said. “You that bored that you wanna listen to my long list of fuck ups?” she said. She sat on the other side of the sofa. She wished she could kick off her boots.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” he said.

“You just wait till I get into it, boyo,” she said.

“So that means you’ll stay for a bit,” he said. “I will open my ears and refrain from any possible censure until you’re done.”

“Century what?” she said, making a face.

“Censure. It means a strong or vehement expression of disapproval.”

“Huh. Whatever.” She looked down at her lap. She looked so lost. It made him want to stroke her rain-frizzy blond hair. She broke up with her fiancee just today, yet here she was, braving wind and rain to show him her worth. It was beyond his capacity to understand. He had not gotten out of bed for three weeks after Lorena left him, and it had been over two months until he was able to face the world. It was still difficult to adjust. She had been his life for six years.

“Where are you?” he said.

“I couldn’t finish it,” she said, tracing the shapes printed on her tights. She took a deep breath. He waited patiently. “At the time. It was, like…”

He moved a little closer, but made sure to give her plenty of space.

“It was like admitting she was finished. That her story was over,” she said. “I couldn’t bear it.” She hiccuped, but kept her composure. “I don’t even know why that’s in there. It’s a mess.”

“You keep saying that,” he said.

“Because it’s true. My life’s a mess. My work. My brain. They’re all one great big horrible mess.”

“You also said it’s unfinished,” he said softly.

“The painting? Yeah.”

“You don’t get me,” he said. He used his hands to speak, and it was beautiful to see. “I mean, it’s unfinished. Your life. Your brain. You. You’re young, no?”

“Old enough to know better about things, though,” she said, crossing her arms.

“You haven’t told me your unforgivable trespasses, but obviously not,” he said.

Her mouth dropped open.

He smiled. “I know you can’t see it from the inside looking out, but I have faith in you. You’ll right the wrongs of which you speak.”

“You don’t know me, bruv,” she said, taking a sip of beer. “I’m, like, the queen of fuckups.”

“That’s why it’s faith. If 2.2 billion Christians can believe in an invisible God, I can believe you’re not an incorrigible fuck up.”

She scratched her head. This bloke was something else. She rolled her eyes and gave him a half-grin.

“Alright. But you haven’t heard what I did yet,” she said.

“Will it explain the mystery of you and your ex being with child at the same time at some point? I am very rudely curious about that. Did you do it on purpose?”

“No,” she said loudly. “I didn’t.”

“Okay,” he said, and stretched his legs out. “We’re getting to the meat of the story.”

“I’ll bore you with my stupidity, but what does this have to do with my art?”

“We’ll figure it out along the way,” he said. “Talk to me.”

“Whatever. So my girlfriend got pregnant without telling me. I was really angry, and I got blind drunk and got off with our next door neighbor, John…”

“Wait. You’re gay?” he said.

She bit her lip. This was the first time she was going to say it out loud to someone she didn’t really know. But considering the stuff she was sharing, it couldn’t be that bad.

“I’m bi. I go both ways,” she said. She paused, as if waiting for peals of thunder and lightning, but the rain continued, silent and dark. “I didn’t know it at the time. But that comes later.”

“I see,” he said. “Take your time. I’m here all night.”

“Yeah. So, all it took was one night, and I was well preggers.”

“By the neighbor? Fuck,” he said. “And he was okay with it?”

“John? We became best mates during the pregnancy. He was in love with me or whatever, but we dealt with it. Now he’s in love with Connie.”

“What?” he said up. “So your ex girlfriend got pregnant without telling you. Then, you got off with your neighbor John, got pregnant after one night, and you’re still living by each other?”

“Yep,” she said.

“And now Encarnacion is with John, the father of Jo, and in love? Wasn’t she with Ella?

“Her and Ella went kaput last year. Big drama – at least, the bits I heard. Super messy.”

“I believe you now,” he said, eyes wide. He had to call Encarnacion. Her and Ella had once felt as immutable as a mountain. But Vesuvius most probably felt the same to the Pompeiians. “You remained friends?”

“Of course. Even after Jo. Like I said, he’s my absolute best mate. Or, possibly, was.”

“If you could endure that triangle, what happened to break it?”

She looked out the window again. She wondered what he was doing. Connie, most probably. He deserved happiness. She couldn’t get the indignant look on his face when she confessed. She never wanted to see that look on his face again.

“Oh,” he said softly. “Oui.”

“What?” she said, snapping out of her train of thought.

“You developed feelings for him. That’s why you broke up with your fiancee.”

She kicked off her books and started pacing the open space in front of the window.

“I’ll have you know she broke up with me,” she said. “He’s the father of my girl,” she said. “Jo was ours.”

“You said he was in love with you. What happened to change that?”

She snorted. “I’m a fool. A damn fool.” His brows rose. “He moved on. I suppose to keep his sanity, but he did. Fully.”

“With Encarnacion,” he said.

“Who is Olivia’s best friend,” she said.

He brightened up. “How is Olivia? She was a hell of a drinking buddy, back in the day.”

“Drinking buddy, huh? Of course,” she said, but she didn’t ask. It was just another story Liv hadn’t bother to tell her. “She’s fine, I hope.”

“You’ve given me only the blurb, but it already sounds like a hell of a story,” he said.

She sat on the windowsill, which was lined with silk pillows. “I think I’ll need something stronger than lager to really get into it,” she said. She held out the half-empty beer bottle.

“I’ve got vodka in a freezer,” he said, taking it.

“That’s good. Pour a drop of juice in. I’m still nursing a hangover.”

“As one does,” he said with a smile, and handed her a glass. He sat against the wall, at her feet. “So, start at the beginning.”

“At the actual beginning, or when everything got fucked?”

“At the very beginning,” he said, nursing his beer. He was a believer that you could tell a lot by a person by the kind of conversation they had. There are people who could talk your ear off for hours, but in the end, you didn’t know them any better. And there were people like Alex – open to a beautiful fault. He already knew he would be crazy about her. Whether it was romantically or not, he couldn’t ascertain now. But he’d know soon enough.

“I met Olivia online, on a dating site. I’d joined as a gag, but in less that 24 hours, I had over 30 messages…”

They talked until dawn, and in the interim, he figured it out.

Next Chapter

#That Woman Over There #you me and him #fan fiction #alex deserves the world #we're almost at the end #It's gonna be so hard to let these characters go

5 notes · View notes

bujo-ie · 7 years ago

Text

yet another tag

doing a lot of these recently! this past week has been light and i’m ending it on a good note (career day + half day) so :))

Rules: answer 30 questions and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better.

tagged by @codexerstudies, thanks! tagging: @lillysleepilystudying @bluehighlights @studyradiant @honeylangs @nichestudyblr @berlincitylights @olivestudyign @excelsiorstudies @munsnotes @ristudy

Gender: female Star sign: scorpio Height: 153 cm Time: 11:53, i should probably go to bed early for once lmao Favourite bands: absolutely in l o v e with oh wonder, and i have stanned seventeen and bigbang for a long time each. also pentatonix <33 Favourite solo artists: in love with a ghost, matthew koma, g-dragon, ludovico einaudi, andrea bocelli, troye sivan, lauv, allie x, halsey, kanto Song stuck in my head: paris in the rain - lauv (i could die listening to this and be perfectly okay with that) Last movie I watched: murder on the orient express on thanksgiving!! haven’t watched a movie since lmao,,,but do documentaries count? bc in that case a couple of yuzuru hanyu documentaries aha Last tv show I watched: criminal minds (which i regret bc the new clown episode has me scarred) When did I create this blog: september 2017! third blog to be made (2nd blog in june 2017 and 1st blog in may 2015) What do I post: nothing the few post that i have put out that are not updates and me screaming about the olympics or tags are a couple of photos of my work [x] [x] [x] and also some nice sunrises that i woke up to [x] and also some adventures in the city (the most aesthetic) [x] but the stuff i reblog is all studyblr or figure skating or motivation or writing Last thing I googled: bronx science waves practice problems (the bronx science site a really good place to go to for science regents practice!!) Do I have other blogs: my first blog is @virtualbrownie which is a complete disaster of fandoms and basically deserted, my second blog is @court-ships which is my ace attorney blog (if anyone actually knows and plays the game pls hmu that fandom is p dry bc tis smol) and the third one is this one!! as of yet i have no sideblogs because i cant commit to not sending asks from that blog tbh Do I get asks: i do!! and im super thankful ^o^ i love answering asks Why did I choose my url: combination of my name + bujo (bullet journal) Following: 4439 Followers: 6081 (tysm for breaking 6k before my 5k celebration is over!) Favourite colours: black Average hours of sleep: 3-4 Lucky numbers: 3, 5, 8, 0 Instruments: piano (i’m retaking an exam that i failed T^T got a 28/100 on my royal test LMAO but i’m taking it slow bc of school) and i know a lick of violin from the mandated course of arts i took last year (wanted to continue it but i have sacrificed my soul to social science research and ap capstone) What am I wearing: grey t-shirt with stains on it, comfy thin pants with psychedelic pattern and also some wrap thing from mexico i got from a friend? don’t know how to wear it properly so its on me like a blanket How many blankets I sleep with: one Dream job: author!! really want to be successful doing something i love b!! Dream trip: Tokyo, Reykjavik, everywhere Favourite food: don’t have one because i love food so much that i could not possibly know...but i really like lamb chops, sushi, and royce chocolate Nationality: chinese-american Favourite song right now: ultralife - oh wonder, also valse triste by paul mottram (ricky goldsworth’s theme ;D)

#yet another tag #tag game

4 notes · View notes

survivor-tierradelfuego · 4 years ago

Text

Ep. 6: “I hate this slow death” - Pedro

Pedro A

im ready for revenge

Ryan

Everything about that tribal was... not great. I am not a fan of my new tribe, Amy betrayed me and Alan's mullet is starting to annoy me lmao. Might have to go with the hanuha peeps

Najwah

I was looking forward to a tribe swap because I was on the outs of my last tribe but this is literally my worst nightmare. We are outnumbered. So automatically if we went to tribal either James or I would be voted out. Also, the ONE person on my old tribe that I've never spoken to. James. I have zero relationship with him at all. In fact, I don't trust him at all. So this is going to be difficult. Best I can do is get to know the other people. Awesome plus is that two other members are from other parts of the world too so I can talk to people during day hours. Haha. Urgh hopefully we win our next challenge and the ones after that. James isn't really a good team player. He's very technical and I suspect he has the jewelery box. So yeah, let's se how this goes. I only have one goal right now and that is to make it to merge. That's it. Pedro A

i honestly will tell all the alliences kalle has..if we lose the challenge

Alan B

I lost all my friends in the swap!!! Im so scared

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOoHPa38woQ&feature=youtu.be

James Hayden

Ryan messaged Naj and I saying he and Amy had a falling out, but reconnected with her and is iffy about Alan. Based on old Maola’s round 5 tribal, it appears that Alan is on the outs. Amy messaged Naj saying that she’s happy someone from Africa is also on the tribe. If Naj can pull in Amy and I can pull Ryan then we have a 4-1 over Alan. But I don’t know if that’s the best move. If we vote Alan out, then Palena consists of 2 original Hanuha and 2 original Maola. If we go back to tribal, then we probably deadlock and I’m NOT letting a challenge decide my fate in this game. If we bring in Alan, then we have their vote the three of us can vote out Amy and Ryan, have the numbers on the tribe, and go into the merge three strong. I can offer Alan a spot in F6 w/ Jess or they can be voted out pre-merge because it seems that Ryan, and maybe Amy, are willing to vote them out. In the words of Rory Freeman," I think I found my little crack.” I just need to talk to Naj and see what she thinks about this.

Ryan

I’m bitter as hell. I really wanna make my teammates regret not getting rid of me over John

Zack M

oop- i should have confessed earlier but like i decided to drink and watch the strangers with my roommates because we don't have a challenge tomorrow. love a night off. but i remembered just now so let me try to recap what happened today..... WE SWITCHED TRIBES. thank god i stepped up as the hanuha (i never know if i'm spelling that correctly and i'm too lazy to check) leader. yes, i volunteered but let's be honest i was the leader regardless. maddison from the other tribe and i did a school yard pick for new tribes. i was really hoping that maddison was going to be available because najwah was hardcore online stalking the other tribe and found out she is a big katy perry fan. i happened to have met katy at a party and she took my phone to take a photo of us. i was totally going to lie and say she was one of my artists and i would get maddison a personalized signed record of her upcoming album if she kept me safe. soooooooooooo if maddison sticks around keep an eye out for that move. putting it in my back pocket for now. no one is safe with me. lol. anyways, this couldn't have worked out better for me. i got ben and cody which are each my final 2 but also we're in a final 3 together. what? i know! i needed this good luck. i feel bad because i don't have sarah and james but i couldn't get everyone from my top 5 alliance. i also feel bad because i had a really great conversation with najwah today and i absolutely love her. however, she was ready to work with new people so i hope she finds peace with the new tribe she is on. i also hope she works with james and doesn't fuck him over so we can all be reunited at the merge. praying for you james because i know she is ready to switch it up. i chose pedro and kalle from the other tribes for specific reasons. pedro beat me at the flag challenge. i felt like this would give us common ground to create a relationship. i also chose kalle because she was the one that ben was talking to last night when we struck a deal with the immunity challenge. RELATIONSHIPS. i'm playing a very social game so i want to make sure i'm in everyone's head. side note: can i say how happy i am that john was voted off tonight. i know he wasn't on my tribe but that bio / the way he acted last night when i was trying to strike a deal was so cocky. he would have been my #1 target if we moved into this round with him. like i was debating getting him on my team and purposefully losing to vote him out and get the numbers up for my original tribe. kind of bummed when i didn't see his name on the list. sorry dude ... but not really. easier for me. things at the new hanuha are weird. obviously ben, cody, and i are close. as far as i know none of us have messaged the others individually and none of them have messaged us. again, cody is a wild card. i love him but i just do not trust that kid. hopefully everyone is telling the truth. i want to reach out to pedro but i don't want to come off too strong yet. not making the same mistakes as you john. my goal this entire time (well since i decided this was a legit game and i would stick around) was just to make it to the merge and now i see the finish line. i don't know if i'm going to have the ability to stay after. i'm a huge threat. let's be honest. i don't know the other tribe but if they are playing the quiet game that i think they are then i'm the last person in this game SO FAR who has made big moves and gotten away with it. i think it is obvious to everyone. pedro even mentioned neil tonight which was HELLA strange. like did neil reach out to him? were they close before? WTF IS NEILS REACH?! this is why i will not allow another pisces in this game. if they have the numbers at the merge and they don't vote me out then they are really playing the worst game possible. im READY to really play and i'm sooooooo ready to stop playing a game for the tribe and start playing the game for me. HERE FOR SOLO IMMUNITY CHALLENGES. i've shown that i'm a comp beast ... once i understand the rules. but our tribe has been quiet tonight. i'm not sure what to do to spark conversation with the newbies. one day at a time. i would suggest throwing this challenge to get one of them out but ben is in school for tv / film and feels confident in his editing skills. i would like him to have a moment to shine and i would never take that away from him. i do have to say out of everyone i've met in this game so far that i appreciate ben the most. he is definitely stiff competition and if one person is going to beat me then he absolutely deserves it! everyone else i've met is floating in my opinion. that's all she wrote.

Pedro A

im honestly sooo doneeeeee.....first John......now im on the bottom.....im honestly so done....if the idol hunt doesnt work, ...idk what will happen

Pedro A

the 3 people that are in the tribe with me and kalle are inseparable...there is no cracks what so ever..lets just hope we win every challenge

Pedro A

honestly im just gonna try to be nº4 on this tribe...and hope we just lose once

Pedro A

guess what bitchessss.....my unlucky ass got nothing in the idol search....WE LOVE TO SEE IT..........honestly not suprised..luck hasnt been on my side...i hate this slow death

Pedro A

But if you close your eyes

Does it almost feel like Nothing changed at all? And if you close your eyes Does it almost feel like You've been here before? How am I gonna be an optimist about this?

Pedro A

okay so im creating a graphic ..that explains the routes in the idol search...that me and kalle have done..so we can know where not to go. I also completed it with the info that john once told...rip john....lets hope we find something

Ryan

Ultimately, I am very sad hearing about what Alan is going through. But I am only slightly thankful for them making this decision, as it means I wouldn't have had to blindside Amy next time we go to tribal

Sarah

This new Maola tribe is like night and day difference compared to my old Hanuha tribe. This tribe is so quiet! I’m not used to not having over 100 unread messages in a day... Aimee and I are definitely down in numbers on this tribe and I get the feeling that the three former Maola tribe members are pretty tight so I am hoping we win this immunity! Ideally, if we did go to tribal I would want to work with Aimee and pull someone else in but if that won’t work then I could vote out Aimee since ya know she wrote my name down. But Aimee really is a great human and I would be down to work with her.

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dbm4Ei7thuo&feature=youtu.be

AMY A

Tribe swap! I was unfortunately put in the tribe of people no one chose and that bummed me out for a few hot seconds but I also realized that out of a tribe of five, there's three internationals and one gender non-conforming person so maybe its just that people just cannot relate with us as well as with Americans. That asiude, this tribe seems to be the right mix. I feel like this challenge was MADE for us cos we can totally milk the culture thing. If Najwah is able to put the videos together well, there is no way we wouldn't win outright. In the event of us losing, Alan has already suggested wanting to get out for mental health reasons so that would be an easy vote. All in all, I feel safe (knock on wood) for this round.

Ryan

I feel like I'm really settling into my groove in this new tribe. We really get on and we really all try our best (my last tribe did too but this one's just kinda special idk)

Zack M

i can't remember if i've confessed or not. i wish there was a way that i could read what i previously wrote. well i'm on a team with cody and ben with pedro and kalle from the other tribe. pedro is a little hard to read but i like him. kalle says he is hardcore searching for the idol though. she also shared that she believe grae and alan have the idol from the other tribe. so if they haven't used it by merge, they will be my #1 targets. i don't really have much to say. we made a video for the music video challenge. i sent a few notes to ben. hopefully he listens and corrects them because i don't know how tough the judges are going to be but there were definitely moments that could be cleaned up / better footage that could have been used. look it's hard for me to put my game in someone else's hands and that's what i feel like i'm doing right now. i wish i would have volunteered to edit but this is what he wanted to do so i'm going to respect that. i did get a reward because i was chosen as team leader. i was able to talk to past players who drafted me. i was honestly so stoked to chat with them and tell them what's been going on in my game. however, it seemed to be an inside joke reunion for them and i didn't really get anything out of it to be honest. it's like cool, you've sat on Skype for a crazy amount of time as well. love that for you. NOW HELP ME. but whatever. if i lose, they lose also. i guess i'll probably update again when i find out if we won the music video challenge or not. party.

Pedro A

Omg I hope we win this challenge.....I'm so scared...chilllleee..if we lose ..I already lost my one life lol

Ryan

We are not mad at Alan sending themself home. It'll be sad to see them gone, but it means I can get rid of them without having to worry about souring my relationships with old Maora

Olivia A

I feel really good about this new tribe and am really glad that we were able to keep 3/4 of my original alliance (Maddison, Grae, and me). Since we didn’t lose this challenge I think the 3 (and hopefully 4 if Kalle doesn’t get voted out) of us can stay strong to the merge and through the rest of the game. :)

Maddison

Tribe swap played out as well as I could have hoped. I hope my original alliance members stay strong and we can make the merge as a strong three.

Aimee

Oh! I am having so much fun with my new Maola tribe! I think we vibe really well together. 😘🌈💜

Zack M

WE WON. omg thank god. the other videos were cute. reality: all three videos were tragic in my opinion but i'm a perfectionist. it's a win i'll gladly take. the scores were all positive except from ellie. ellie is really not a fan of the music video challenge and it shows from the bio / scores. we were better than 6 7 8 and 9s. shout out to the person that gave us straight 10s. WHAT WE DESERVED. tribal has also happened. super sad to see that alan asked to leave the game. i do find it wild because kalle shared that she believed alan had the immunity idol. this gives james and najwah a chance to continue on though and i'm so happy for them! low key hope they lose again because i feel like it would be easier for them to convince one person to vote with them. idk. also, i just think james has the idol so i don't mind him taking a hit if he can come back from it. we are currently waiting on a new challenge. not excited. was ready for a night off! but LETS GO.

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsBK4PSENrQ

Najwah

Soooo last time I did this I don't think I was aware, that the tribe swap was a school yard pick. Dunno can't remember. Tbh I am re-annoyed that when Jay asked who volunteers, I was busy typing, but Zack once again took it. Do I feel bad about not being chosen by Zack when he was decompressing with me for a whole half an hour before it all happened? He was venting and anxious. He probably had his reasons. Well done for choosing a videograoher on his team too. Does it feel weird being part of the leftovers? Sure. As a POC it's difficult not to see that the non white people, person who stutters and young guy were not chosen by the leaders. I'm not sure why Alan wasn't chosen, probably because they were the hosts sibling? But yes, the innate racism, ableism and ageism was definitely apparent. Personally, I think a randomizer should be used. And people would call this exaggeration or trying to play the victim/being salty but if you're a POC and have experienced this kind of thing for 30+ years, you just see things for what they are. Anyway, on the plus side being on a group of misfits means that no one has alliances. Everyone is just genuinely nice. Wow. What a breeze. I started bonding with James more. I like this tribe. I feel less stressed on this tribe. Perhaps it's that we are all on different timezones so we all talk at different times, which I like. Perhaps it's because there are way less people lol. Do I feel discouraged though? Yes. I don't think we will win immunity. We are all too out of sync.

Najwah

The music video challenge was fun. Not the best song choice tbh. I wanted to do Journeys don't stop believing because we were a bunch of misfits and I've been binge rewatching Glee again after Naya's death. Being a POC bi woman, that death affected me a lot last week. And Mr Shue is right. Journey is great. Anyway. I loved all the snippets and how much effort everyone put into the videos. It took me a long time. Like 8 hours to edit all of THAT, coz I did it in Vegas Pro instead of TikTok or a phone app like we should have done ugh why am I stupid. so I was sad when we didn't even place, but also Alan gifted me an immunity idol before they left and I was so overwhelmed I literally CRIED. I miss Cody. I miss Leanne. People I could actually talk to about these things lollll. I guess we just have to try our best to win tonight. Our team is so out of sync though I don't see that happening. But we will try our best I guess. Last time we won an immunity challenge I prayed to God that we win. I think i will do that again. I think God likes survivor.

Najwah

I need to make a disclaimer. I'm not unhappy about anything. I'm not salty about anything. I'm not upset or being complain-y. I'm just making observations. I am still really happy about this game, being able to play in it and being able to get to know people I wouldn't have crossed paths with in my wildest dreams.

#episodes

0 notes