#this took me 2 days to fully write and i couldn't shake off any of these thoughts at all

[qinluna]

interpreting tarot for the possible future for l&ds and its story...

My baddie hunters unite… how are we all feeling after the Caleb update? (Me personally, unsettled.)

I felt the itch to do another tarot reading after doing one for Caleb [ one / two ] months ago and I am both shocked and thrilled to hear that my predictions had ended up becoming true, especially with Zayne being a guiding light to the conflict at the center of it all. Knowing that this story is taking a darker and mature tone (as it should be), I felt my third eye twitching with some possible theory as to what might happen next. Considering the heaviness of the cliffhanger left, and the fact that this is the first time MC has failed a mission… the next course is unpredictable and anything could happen to move the story forward. And—I wanted some insight on who the sixth love interest could be (even the slightest hint would help.)

This time it felt a bit more complicated, however, because I ended up actually doing two different card spreads—one for MC and one for our sixth leading man. And just like Caleb’s return, the reading ended up feeling heavier than I had expected it to be. Please be prepared for a long read ahead. Also, SPOILERS below the cut and in tags.

*Notes before proceeding: As per my previous tarot post: please take all of this with a grain of salt. I am not a professional tarot reader, and still consider myself a beginner (I started my tarot journey in 2023). I invest in tarot for my own personal means and spiritual benefit/practice, and I’m doing this for fun. I just like merging my special interests together, especially since Love & Deepspace has various themes surrounding spirituality, astrology, etc. tysm :3

MC’s Cards:

Three of Wands (Reversed) / King of Wands (Reversed) / Ace of Swords (Upright) / The World (Upright)

The 6th L/I’s Cards:

Temperance (Reversed) / Strength (Reversed) / The Devil (Reversed)

This is the first time I’ve felt that music has been a personal communicator in what aligns with these characters and their stories. I’ve had the Season 2 Arcane soundtrack on repeat for weeks on end ever since I finished watching it, and I have to admit that it takes a more solemn tone compared to what the first season brought. Despite Love & Deepspace being a game that centers on romance and creating an intimate relationship with the love interests offered, the deeper end of its lore and character myths are devastating and unfortunately continues to get more dire for its cast. The same can be said with any other franchise that does sci-fi fantasy, questioning who truly has power over catastrophes and defying godhood for any means.

I reference the Arcane soundtrack because a couple of songs from Season 2 stand out to me that are all too familiar to Caleb’s predicament. The Line by Twenty-One Pilots, Remember Me (incl. the intro) by d4vd, and What Have They Done To Us by Mako, Grey.

Caleb’s return to the forefront of everything has revealed to us, the audience, and MC that he is integral to what is the center conflict especially as it grows more powerful. It’s a heavy burden he bears, along with other distressing occurrences that have caused his PTSD. Though, this doesn’t excuse that he has done morally reprehensible things especially under the feat of wanting to protect somebody (MC) from all danger possible. Even if there is no real danger. Yet, Caleb is in a position that makes himself dangerous and most susceptible to hurting everyone around him.

So, what comes next?

MC’s card spread was initially the reading I did with the intention of finding some hints or insight into the sixth leading man. (For the sake of writing cohesively, I’ll be calling him ‘Six’ rather than constantly writing ‘the sixth love interest’ etc.)

But when we think about every single major event that MC has been through up to this point in the modern timeline—it’s genuinely too much. Our girl’s been running around in circles over and over again only to get very little information every time she gets to the point she needs to. Yet, she continues to operate the same as a Hunter. She’s confident, bold, and self-assured in everything she does, even in her interactions with our leading men.

Until it comes down to the tragedy of her childhood home and everything that was taken from her.

Skyhaven is the first time we’ve seen MC falter by a considerable amount because, of course, Caleb is alive? How? What? Why? And of course she feels inclined to embrace him, as he did her. To try and accept this reality despite the obvious ominous air surrounding him. (He’s not even giving her clear answers to very important questions she has surrounding his fate.)

MC’s first two cards, the 3 of Wands and the King of Wands—both reversed—call to the consequences of her failed mission. Due to her empathy for the young siblings, it pushed her to investigate their case, having said so herself she didn’t want what happened to her to happen to anyone else. It was risky, and undoubtedly, personal feelings were involved in her reasons for wanting to go to Skyhaven.

The Wands-suit cards in reverse share similar themes in highlighting her haste and recklessness in wanting to resolve a conflict as quickly and efficiently as she can. Even before she dives headfirst into this situation, she is asked (by Captain Jenna) if she is capable of handling whatever’s about to come her way.

Girl, she was not.

Her plans of efficiency and wanting to move forward even with the risks at hand were interrupted in every way possible due to the emotional heavyweight surrounding Caleb and learning of his true fate. This includes how Caleb is an important hand in the operations of Skyhaven’s darkness. MC’s internal strife regarding him interrupted her focus on the mission, even if she attempted to prioritize it again.

Now… this is where Ace of Swords and the World.

Ace of Swords is an interesting card that traditionally symbolizes hope and power in a breakthrough. It still holds that same meaning in this particular reading, but doesn’t stand out strongly. There is a lot that was thrown onto MC that’s left her temporarily blindsided. Swords suited cards center around intellect that often needs to be heightened, revisited, etc, and each card is unique in its own call to action.

I take this as a sign that moving forward, MC can no longer operate as a Hunter the way she normally does. The central conflict continues to grow with all these moving pieces she learns about—but due to this, she is acting brashly. The brashness comes as a result of feeling the need to solve everything right away. This mindset will no longer benefit MC, now knowing that Caleb is heavy-handed in this situation that is no longer a simple procedure of seek and destroy. Applying the meaning of the Ace of Swords to this—she needs to take greater responsibility with her power and come to a more leveled head before making her next move.

It wasn’t necessary for me to shuffle for a fourth card but it felt necessary to find something more conclusive. I’m literally worried for MC. (LMAO) So the World serves as reassurance, that there is a proper conclusion to the bumps in the road she’ll run into. But it is more important than anything that she shouldn’t underestimate the additional hurdles that are bound to come.

Alright, so our sixth love interest.

Instantly we are dealing with an entire spread of major arcana—all in reverse.

This is the part where it gets unpredictable because for a long time coming we had been anticipating Caleb to return. Now that he’s home… this new guy could be literally anyone. I won’t go into the details of theories or attempt to piece things together in this post, since I’m going off speculation and interpreting what I know.

To keep it simple, this collective of Major Arcana is overwhelming and heavy. Temperance and Strength are similar in their messages where they are asking for reevaluation after a heavy pushback. Yes, this does call back to the 3 of Wands and Ace of Swords for the MC. Remember how she was acting out after the house explosion and acted abrasively with Sylus?

We’re about to witness that again with Six. (A literal crash out, if you will.)

Even though it’s necessary for MC to take a breather before she does something, there’s a cloud of impatience for when she does end up running into Six. I imagine he’s going to be an overwhelming surprise—but he’s going to be the most helpful asset she’ll need to move forward. His entrance into her life won’t be accepted or given a warm welcome—and he’ll be met with the most hostility we’re about to see from MC.

The Devil in reverse… Whether she likes it or not though, she needs Six. More importantly, Six wants to help her. They’re both working towards similar goals, it’s just that he’s in a position that allows him more room to be more shameless about his approaches. But even he knows she can’t be shameless because with the mind she’ll have when they meet, it won’t work and she’ll attempt to once again do things on her own.

MC can actually learn a lot from Six. Despite the differences they’ll have, despite his complicated reputation, he is literally the last piece of the puzzle to start finding real answers that will help her. We can say he’s a Devilish figure, and it’s known well that making an agreement with the Devil means giving something in return.

(Sensing that godhood and worship are going to be important concepts at the center of the next major story update.)

It’s unsure of what Six wants from MC. (Maybe just her. Lololol.) But no matter what, he is genuine about his intentions to help her get what she wants.

[its-all-or-nothing94]

Racing Hearts - Part 5 // Charles Leclerc x Reader

Summary: The relationship between you and Charles is getting more serious, but you still have some doubts. Especially with a new encounter with his ex, but then you get help from an unexpected side.

Masterlist Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Warnings: Nakedness, Fluff

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

A/N: So here we go... I'm so excited for MONZA! Forza tifosi!

Disclaimer: This story is purely fictional, and any character portrayals are just how I wrote them - hence fictional! I don't know them, except my OCs.

Tagging: @liebgotts-lovergirl, @softly-writes, @bellewintersroe, @faithm120601, @needtokeepfeelingsincheck, @bbygrllllllll

The next day, after Charles had left for some meetings in the paddock, you headed to Sofia's home. You were both still buzzing from your movie night and made plans to meet up later in the day. As you entered Sofia's apartment, you heard some commotion and laughter coming from the kitchen.

"Sof, are you here... OH MY GOD!" you exclaimed, turning around quickly and covering your eyes.

You had walked in on a surprising scene – Carlos Sainz and Sofia, completely naked, entangled with each other on the floor.

"What... What the hell are you doing?" you asked, trying to keep a straight face but couldn't help chuckling a little.

Sofia laughed mischievously. "What does it look like?"

"I know what it looks like, but... what?" you inquired, still trying to avert your gaze, but then realizing they were both still on the floor in their birthday suits. "Could you please just... cover yourselves?"

"Y/N?" Sofia asked.

"What?"

"The blankets?" Sofia pointed to the blankets on the nearby couch. You quickly pulled down two blankets and tossed them to Sofia and Carlos. You heard them rustling to cover themselves.

"Okay, you can look now," Sofia announced.

You sighed, turned around, and peeked at the almost-covered duo. Then you started laughing at the absurdity of the situation.

"Wow... I... Okay, you know what, never mind. You two are old enough," you said, trying to suppress your giggles, and walked past them toward your room. Before entering, you turned around to Carlos again, his face now as red as a tomato.

"Oh, and Carlos, shouldn't you be somewhere?" you quipped.

The Spaniard looked at his watch, realizing he was late. "Oh, fuck!" He rushed into Sofia's room, leaving you two alone.

Sofia looked at you with an amused raised eyebrow. "Oh, and so it goes," she said with a playful grin.

You shook your head but couldn't stop grinning at your best friend. Carlos hurried back into the living room, now fully dressed.

"I'm so sorry, Hermosa, but I need to go," he said, his words rushed as he took Sofia's hands in his. "He pasado una noche preciosa, hermosa. Espero verte más tarde." (*T: I had a wonderful night, darling. Hope to see you later.) He gave her a quick kiss and then left the apartment in a hurry.

Sofia turned around to you, her cheeks flushed, and simply stated, "OMG," before shaking her hands and jumping around the living room. You chuckled at your best friend's reaction.

"Jesus Christ, Y/N. I... It was... Carlos is..." Sofia struggled to find the right words to describe the whirlwind of emotions she was feeling.

"Okay, why don't you take a shower and get dressed, and then you can tell me everything, okay?" you suggested with a smile, trying to give her friend some time to compose herself. "Charles is expecting us at 1 pm at the paddock."

Sofia nodded enthusiastically and rushed into her room, still buzzing with excitement from her unexpected morning encounter. As you watched your friend bounce around, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the joy Sofia brought into your life. Your day was off to an amusing start.

As Sofia emerged from her room, freshly showered and dressed, she found you flipping through the contents of your suitcase to choose an outfit for the day.

"OMG, Y/N. I just need to tell you this. Carlos and I got so drunk yesterday, and then... well, you saw. That was actually the 5th time... Jeez, that man has his game on," Sofia said with a mixture of excitement, realization, and nervousness.

You grinned, looking over at your friend. "I'm glad you had a good time. It sounds like you two hit it off pretty well."

Sofia blushed a little, a playful smile dancing on her lips. "It was amazing, Y/N. I mean, I didn't expect it at all, but the chemistry was undeniable. And the sex, I mean... Wow!"

"I'm happy for you, Sof," you said sincerely but still amused. "You deserve to have some fun and enjoy yourself."

Sofia sat down on the edge of the bed. "So, what about you and Charles? How was last night?" she asked, eagerly wanting to hear every detail.

You blushed slightly, recalling the beautiful night you spent with Charles. "It was wonderful, Sofia. We had a movie night, cuddled on the couch, and then... well, things got a bit... heated?" you said, and Sofia lifted an eyebrow. "But I stopped it because, you know, I'm not like that," you said, looking at your best friend with a smirk.

"Hey! What is that supposed to mean?" Sofia asked playfully, knowing what you tried to say.

You shook your head and chuckled. "You know what I mean, Sof."

Sofia rolled her eyes and nodded. "Suuure. But Y/N, you guys are so good together. I can see how much he cares about you. Don't let your past experiences hold you back," she encouraged.

"I know, I know. It's just... his career and the public attention, it's a lot to handle," you replied, your brows furrowing with worry. "I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. I mean, I really, really like him!"

Sofia put a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "Look, I get that it's overwhelming, but you can't let fear stop you from being happy. Take it one step at a time. Talk to Charles about your concerns and see how he feels. You won't know unless you try."

You nodded, appreciating Sofia's supportive words. "You're right, as always. I just need to open up to him and see where it leads."

"Exactly! And remember, I'm here for you every step of the way," Sofia said with a warm smile.

You hugged her friend. "Thank you, Sofia. I don't know what I'd do without you."

The two of you finished getting ready, discussing race strategy, and joking around, just like they always did.

As you headed to the paddock to join Charles and the rest of the team, you felt a sense of excitement and comfort, knowing that you had your best friend by your side and that you could face whatever the future held, with Charles or not.

You spotted Charles immediately as you walked over to the Ferrari motorhome. He saw you as well and greeted you with a kiss on the cheek.

"You made it", he said and you smiled.

"Of course."

"Where's Sofia?", he asked, and you looked over your shoulder. Sofia was just there a second ago.

"Uh, she was just here..."

Charles smiled warmly at you. "How was your morning?"

You chuckled as you thought about it. "Oh, it was quite eventful", you grinned, and Charles looked at her, amused.

Just as he wanted to ask what it was about, a blonde woman in a Ferrari outfit came running up to you. "Charles! Riunione d'emergenza. Fred vuole vedervi subito", she said in Italian.

You didn't understand it, but you knew that it was important. Charles looked briefly at you and then at the woman.

"Arrivo subito. Gianna, puoi farmi un favore?", he asked and the woman nodded. "This is Y/N. Y/N, this is Gianna, my assistant. Gianna, could you show Y/N up to the lounge and explain everything?"

Gianna nodded again. "Sure," she answered with a thick Italian accent.

You looked at Charles, confused. You were supposed to spend some time together.

Charles looked at you apologetic. "I'm so sorry, they have an emergency meeting I need to attend. I will see you later, okay?" He pressed a quick kiss to your cheek and then left in the direction of the offices. You looked after him, nodding.

Gianna led you into the motorhome and then upstairs into a lounge. There were already a lot of people talking. You cursed and were asking yourself where Sofia is.

"Okay, this is the Ferrari lounge for family and friends. Charles has some meetings now, but he will be back soon", Gianna said, and you looked at her again before you nodded.

You stood alone on the balcony, gazing down at the bustling paddock and the picturesque views of Monaco. You hung your black blazer over the railing and took a deep breath. However, your solitude was quickly interrupted by a familiar and unwelcome voice behind you, making you roll your eyes in annoyance.

"Would you look at that? Charles brought his new pet," Isabella's sharp voice remarked, and you turned around to face her, trying your best to keep her composure.

Isabella glanced you up and down with a condescending sneer. "And look at you... You do know that this is Monaco and not some stray auction, right?" Isabella pointed at your simple blue baggy jeans, with the white crop top and the white high Converse your were wearing.

You took a deep breath, not wanting to stoop to Isabella's level. However, before you could respond, another voice interjected, coming to your defense.

"That's enough, Isabella."

Both you and Isabella turned around, and there stood a blonde-haired woman with a sense of authority that reminded you of your own mother. The woman had friendly eyes that you recognized from somewhere.

Isabella glared at the woman before tossing her hair over her shoulder and strutting away. "Whatever."

You watched Isabella leave and then turned your attention back to the blonde woman. "Thank you," you  said with genuine gratitude and a warm smile.

The woman smiled back, extending her hand to you. "Nothing to thank for, chérie. You must be Y/N. I'm Pascale Leclerc, Charles's mother."

Your heart skipped a beat as you shook Pascale's hand. This was Charles's mother – a significant figure in his life. "Uh, yes, that's me," you replied nervously.

"Charles told me a lot about you, Y/N. You've made quite the impression on my son," Pascale said, looking you over with a keen eye.

Feeling slightly self-conscious under Pascale's gaze, you knew that mothers would always be protective of their sons, especially when they were famous and wealthy. The concern of a potential gold digger was not unwarranted.

"I really care about Charles, Mrs. Leclerc," you said sincerely, wanting to reassure her that your feelings for Charles were genuine.

Pascale smiled warmly, seeming to appreciate your sincerity. "I can see that, chérie. I just want to make sure my son is happy and cared for. His career brings enough challenges, and I worry about the added pressure it might put on a relationship."

"I understand, and I assure you that my feelings for Charles are real," you replied earnestly. "I don't want anything from him other than to be there for him and support him in whatever way I can."

"I believe you, Y/N," Pascale said, her smile softening. "Charles is a wonderful young man, and I can see how much he cares about you too. Just take good care of each other, okay?"

You nodded, feeling relieved and grateful for Pascale's understanding. "I will, Mrs. Leclerc. I promise."

"I trust you, chérie," Pascale said warmly, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

"I can see you two have met", another voice popped up behind them, and walking through the crowd is Lorenzo. He smiled at his mother and gave her a kiss on each cheek before he repeated it with you. "Did you already scare the hell out of her, Maman?" Lorenzo chuckled.

Pascale looked at you and then back at her oldest son. "I don't think this one is scared easily if she is willing to take on the wrath of one Isabella Rossi. I'm impressed", Pascale said, and you chuckled.

Lorenzo put a proud arm around your shoulder. "It really is impressive, right, Maman? Every other girl would run for the hills. But I guess my brother enchanted her too much."

You laughed at Lorenzo's teasing of Charles and put a strand of your hair behind your ear. You talked to Pascale and Lorenzo for a while when suddenly an arm wrapped around your waist.

"I can see you met my Mom." It was Charles who crept up to you. He whispered in your ear and then put a quick kiss on your cheek before greeting his mother.

You smiled sheepishly at Charles. "I did. She saved me from you-know-who." You winked at Charles, and he knew exactly who you were talking about.

"I should've known that she would be here. I'm sorry", Charles apologized, but you just put a hand on his arm.

"No need to apologize. I need to learn to live with her."

You smiled and Charles was happy that you didn't take it to heart. Then he looked around. "Where is Sofia?" you averted your gaze quickly, and Charles knew that something was up immediately. "Y/N?"

Now you looked back at him. "Well..." you said innocently. "I guess she might be with Carlos..."

"With Carlos? Why would she be with... oh..." Charles raised an eyebrow, connecting the dots. "Oh, I see. Well, I hope they're having a good time," he said with a smirk, trying not to show any hint of concern.

You chuckled softly, knowing that Charles was probably feeling a mix of amusement and protective brotherly instincts. "They seemed to hit it off pretty well," you replied, nudging him playfully.

Lorenzo joined in on the teasing. "Looks like love is in the air, eh, little brother?" he said, giving Charles a friendly pat on the back.

You chuckled. "I'm not so sure about that, Lorenzo. I know Sofia, and it could be just a little fling as easily."

Charles rolled his eyes but couldn't help but smile at the playful banter. "All right, enough about Sofia and Carlos," he said, taking your hand in his. "I wanted to show you the garage and my car before FP1."

He dragged you along, and you turned around to wave at his brother and mother. "Goodbye, Mrs. Leclerc. It was really nice to meet you."

Pascale waved at you, too, and Charles and you disappeared downstairs. He led you through the paddock and then into the pitlane, where all the garages were. When they arrived at the Ferrari garage, you already saw Carlos' and Charles' garages.

People were busy working all around, updating the car and making some more adjustments, as Charles led you through the people and into a small room.

"This is my locker room in the garage. It's for preparing for the race in the last minutes and doing some last-minute workout, etc."

Just at that moment, it knocked, and a man in his thirties with black hair and dark eyes entered. "Ah, Charles. Eccoti qui! Ti stavo cercando. Oh, chi è?", the man said in Italian, and you looked at Charles.

"Andrea, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Andrea, my athletic trainer, and a good friend. He has been with me for a long time."

Andrea smiled and extended his hand for you to shake, which you did. "Nice to meet you, Y/N. Is this your first time at a Formula 1 race?"

You nodded. "Yes, it is. And it's really... overwhelming."

"I can imagine that", Andrea chuckled and turned to Charles again. "Listen, I want you to be changed and ready for the workout in 10 minutes. Gianna can take her upstairs so she can watch. FP1 starts in 45 minutes." Then he left the room, closing the door behind him.

Charles nodded and looked at you. "I hope that's okay for you?"

"Sure..." you replied and looked around. You were alone in Charles's small locker room, so you looked at him mischievously. Then you took a step closer to him, and he looked down at you with a grin on his face since he realized what you were up to.

He put his hand on your cheek and then pressed his lips lightly to yours, giving you a short but passionate kiss.

"I am so fucking happy that you are here", he whispers to your lips, and a wide smile grew on your lips before you kissed him again.

The moment between Charles and you was interrupted by Andrea clearing his throat, and you both pulled away, chuckling softly.

"Sorry to interrupt, lovebirds," Andrea said with a playful grin, "but we've got a schedule to keep."

You blushed slightly, feeling a mixture of excitement and shyness at the affectionate display in front of Charles's trainer. "Of course, I don't want to keep you from your preparations," you said with a small smile.

Charles squeezed your hand reassuringly. "Don't worry, it's all part of the experience," he replied, gazing fondly at you.

As you followed Gianna to the observation area, you felt a surge of emotions. Watching Charles and the team in action was awe-inspiring, and you couldn't help but feel proud and grateful to be a part of this unique world.

From the observation area, you watched Charles effortlessly navigate the track during FP1, pushing his car to its limits. The precision, speed, and skill displayed by the drivers were incredible. As the session came to an end, you noticed Charles exchanging nods and gestures with his teammates, communicating silently about the car's performance.

After FP1, you joined Charles and Andrea in the garage. They were busy discussing the car's setup and performance, and Charles looked focused and determined.

"You did great out there," you said, smiling warmly at him.

Charles grinned back at her. "Thanks, Y/N. It's always a thrill being on the track," he replied, a glimmer of excitement in his eyes.

A New Mystery Woman on the F1 Grid? Charles Leclerc's Intriguing Companion Sparks Curiosity

Monaco – The Formula 1 paddock is abuzz with speculation as Charles Leclerc, the talented Ferrari driver, was seen in the company of a mysterious beauty during the Monaco Grand Prix festivities. Leclerc, known for his skill on the track and his enigmatic persona off it, was spotted sharing intimate moments with the unidentified woman, igniting a wave of curiosity among fans and media alike.

The duo's first public appearance together took place on Leclerc's luxurious yacht, where they were photographed sharing a passionate kiss. The sighting sparked a flurry of rumors, leaving many to wonder about the identity of the captivating newcomer in the F1 scene.

Adding fuel to the intrigue, the mystery woman was once again seen by Leclerc's side in the bustling paddock of the Monaco GP. While Leclerc appeared unfazed by the attention, the enigmatic beauty was photographed attempting to shield her face from the prying lenses of eager photographers.

Her discreet demeanor and attempts to avoid the spotlight have only heightened curiosity surrounding her identity. Fans and media outlets are left speculating about her background, interests, and connection to the talented Monegasque driver.

As the Monaco Grand Prix unfolds on the iconic street circuit, all eyes are on Leclerc's on-track performance, as well as the unfolding narrative of this newfound companionship. Will the identity of this captivating mystery woman be unveiled, or will she continue to remain shrouded in secrecy, leaving fans to piece together the puzzle of her connection to Charles Leclerc?

[endiecutieo6]

-Gorebruary 2023-

Week 2

Heyo! Let’s get to it so that tumblr doesn’t want me dead. Now, onto the content warning!

Day 8/Too many teeth: Body horror, blood, open wounds

Day 9/Freakshow: Body horror, blood, stitches

Day 10/Drowned: Lots of blood

Day 11/Dissected: body horror, eye strain

Day 12/So many eyes: body horror, ommetaphobia, eye strain

13/Cannibalism: Blood, open wounds, visible organs, shaking (for the video portion)

14/Love: Eye strain, visible bruising, visible self harm, blood, organs

“Hyperdontia:

Hyperdontia is the condition of having supernumerary teeth, or teeth that appear in addition to the regular number of teeth (32 in the average adult). They can appear in any area of the dental arch and can affect any dental organ”

PN: I messed up the ordering on this one. This prompt was meant to come AFTER the next one. I also am so mixed about this one. I feel like I could’ve done much better, maybe lean less on the blood and more the body horror. I guess I like the coloring?

"-and here we have our "weeping groom"! Oh? Yeah, that's a guy. Legend has it he's been waiting so long for his lover at the altar, that he kinda forgot it he was the bride or not, and-hey, stop knocking on the glass, he doesn't like that"

"How did he get like that? Well, we don't actually know, we found him like this and took him in, and he just keeps waiting, constantly. He never stops waiting. It's... actually kinda tragic... Now, this freakshow has come to an end. The exit is right behind you, please throw away your garbage in the appropriate spot, and we hope you'll visit again!"

“…um, are you gonna leave or-oh, the blood? It's just decoration, he's not in any actual pain or whatever-hey, I said to stop knocking on the glass! If you really give that much of a shit about him, you'd not do that! Now, get the fuck out before I call security."

"Fuckin' kids- had to install that window because people would throw cigarettes at him- who's the real monster, those fucks or this innocent man? Anyways, let's get you cleaned up and taken to your room, okay bud?"

PN: there’s an au behind this one I just haven’t explored it yet. I also have had a redraw of this on the backseat for fuckin’ ages. I worked really hard on this one anyway.

“No one really knows what happened, when it happened, or even who did it, but it was poor Tracy who came across his corpse first. You swore you could still hear her scream ringing in the air, petrified in a way she'd never been before. Poor girl.

Rusty, spear-like pole to the neck. That's one hell of a way to go. Probably snapped his neck in two, but the blood on his fingers seemed to indicate it didn't fully kill him. It must've been agonizing, and you couldn't help but cringe as you wrote your report.

You already suspected one of the hunters had something to do with it, but who specifically? Hell If you knew.

You knew you were going to have to skip dinner, too afraid you'd empty your guts out on the floor, when you finally noticed the poof of blood in his mouth, and you realized that he, probably in a panic and desperately trying to call for help, choked and drowned in his own blood.

You kept that out of the report. You wanted to forget about this as soon as you could, if just for the sake of your own mental health.”

PN: I both really like and really don’t like this specific image, and it’s hard to explain why. I feel like the angling is a little wonky. Also an OC is writing the report and I might show the OC later.

“Curiosity killed the cat.

Freddy had an issue at letting go, leaving stones unturned and just walking away. It was almost like an itch, maybe even a rash, and he couldn't resist it. He'd scratch and scratch till he clawed his skin open, and he wouldn't stop until he finally got the answer. He knew he'd regret it once it was over, especially if he saw something he couldn't forget, but now he could let it go.

These periods of destructive curiosity were on and off, always something new and always something that would hurt him once it was all over. He'd do it to stories, or people; over analyzing and picking apart every aspect until he was too frail from over exhaustion to continue. It was easier with stories, and it was exhausting with people. It was even worse with himself.

It was only when he looked at himself did he realize how little he thought about his actions, how little thought went into his actions, and suddenly it mattered so much he felt like he was going to fall apart. It was a frenzy; he was practically ripping himself open, claws he didn't know he had sinking into his flesh and just tearing it away. His hands shook terribly, but he couldn’t stop. He had to know.

It wasn’t until he was done dissecting everything about himself did he realize the damage, but it was too late to take anything back. He felt so fucking hollow it made him dizzy. The world seemed to spin around him, yet it was too late.

He couldn't take it back, and by god he wished he could.”

PN: not happy with this one. Even the sketch for this one was weak and I just can’t find anything good about it. I wish I tried a little harder.

“Maybe it’s a little out of line, but I can’t stop staring at you.

You’re so pretty, like a blooming rose.

I can’t let this chance pass me by.

So, I’ll say it:

I love you.

Will you be mine?”

PN: I like this one! I don’t have too much to say other than that unfortunately.

PN: this is literally just the PV for “The spider and the Kitsune-like lion” by MASA. I have super mixed feelings about this one because I feel like I didn’t try hard enough. The body is fine but the head is just iffy. If I redrew it I’d try much harder.

WARNING:

This story contains:

Depictions/ descriptions of self harm

Depictions/ descriptions of violence

Mental Breakdowns

Mental health struggles

“He couldn't do this again.

It hurt, it hurt so much. It sunk its rotten daws into his shriveled heart, and the way it tugged it down- it was too much.

He promised he wouldn’t do this again, to dare let this feeling take over him. It nearly brought him to tears every time he glanced down at the ring on his finger, a golden band that reflected his pathetic expression. Sometimes, he swore that his expression would narrow its eyes at him, disgusted. It nearly made him want to take it off but that only hurt more.

In desperation, he locked himself away. He hardly left his room, only leaving when he needed to, and praying no one noticed his puffy eyes and his red cheeks. Humiliatingly, he found himself bursting into tears at the drop of a dime. He was practically weeping his way through the day, and it was getting harder to hide.

That damned feeling stil lingered, stood at his doorway and just stared. It flexed its claws and grinned a toothy grin, eyes narrowed in a forced attempt at a smile. "You can't ignore me forever" it sang rapping its blistered knuckles against his nightstand as he tried to sleep "there's no point: I'm not leaving"

It was true, and he hated it. A reality he couldn't deny was a cruel punishment, but maybe he deserved it.

As the days went by, he only got worse. He wouldn't eat, he'd bang his head against his desk until he was too faint to continue, he'd scratch at his neck and shoulders and chest, wishing he could just rip himself open and be done with it all sometimes, he'd wrap his fingers aroundhis neck and just squeeze. It was almost cathartic when his vision started to darken, when his mind began to twirl and his heart seemed to scratch desperately at his flesh. He'd always let go, but then he'd do it again and again.

But, every action has a consequence, and his was the various marks his injuries would leave behind. Bruises and cuts on his forehead, blood smeared underneath his nose, the growing red stains where he'd been too tired to clean up his wounds and let them bleed into his shirt, and the deep, reddish prints his palms left behind. A beautiful portrait of his suffering.

The others were starting to notice; Lingering stares followed his every movement when he occasionally snuck out of his room. It made his skin crawl every time they opened their mouths, as if they wanted to say something, only to decide against it and just give him a look, almast a silent plea for him to just stop.

Every time, he'd paused in consideration. He'd look down at himself, down at the dried blood on the underside of his fingernails, and he'd want to end all of this.

Then, he'd look up and see them. His heart, his treacherous, bastard heart would dare to beat, and it was like he was pushed back into the water. And, as he drowned, he'd chuckle to himself, suddenly remembering words he would bitterly growl to himself as a pathetic method of comfort he'd turn to when the dark, lonely nights became unbearable:

“What's called romance is nothing but fooling oneself before foding others"

What a hypocrite.

With the cycle starting all over again, he'd let his mind entertain fantasies of his fingers, having finally sunk deep enough into his chest to rip it open, grasped and finally tore out that tell tale heart, and he'd smile as he imagined himself floating away into a red sea, happy.

What a terrible thing: to be in love.”

PN: Love the story, hate the image. It fails to convey the pain I wanted it to and it just doesn’t stand up on its own. It seems like a first draft, and I'm so disappointed in it. Also, the love in this story is meant to be towards Kreacher but I kept it vague enough to be anyone. I think it makes the story stronger.

Alrighty, see you guys soon!

[morimakesfanart]

Sindria's Prophet #14

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13]

[AO3]

~POV Mori~

I woke up when it was still dark out. Only the faintest light came in my windows.

I hadn't done anything yesterday. Just laid down and rested for the first time in a long time. The doctor's were convinced I needed one more day of rest, but I knew I was already better. When was the last time I had just let my body rest like that when I wasn't sick? I couldn't remember. This peace was nice.

The quiet of sunrise was only broken by the faint sound of bird calls in the distance. I sat up and closed my eyes. I focused everything on my other senses. I couldn't hear the ocean easily from here. I had wanted to use the sounds of the waves to meditate, but I would just have to do without.

It had been a few days since I last checked in with myself and really focused inward. I could still feel them, all of the Black Rukh that had merged with me back in Balbadd. They were much calmer than before. And they felt like a part of me now, like I might be incomplete if they were suddenly gone. I knew each one from the dreams too. Their lives were mine and each also now knew my life as their own.

Going through all of their lives on the ship would have been painful even without being sick. These were angry souls and they did not welcome the inner peace I was offering easily, but a person's Rukh doesn't lie. After reading this world's truth through my memories they all calmed.

All of us lived lives of loss and poverty and trauma. That must have been another part of why we were able to fully merge in such a short time.

As Black Rukh they couldn't return to the Great Flow where the rest of their loved ones were, but they at least had each other within me.

It was a very strange feeling.

And along with their lives and Rukh, their magoi was also now mine. What had felt like a small pool now felt like a large lake. I had a lot more magoi at my disposal now that they were fully integrated with me.

The Great Bell range and I grounded myself in the present.

Only then did it occur to me that I was probably sick, and suffering from the influx of Rukh separately at the same time. It had been both all along. Whatever illness I had was worsened by my situation with the Rukh. I hadn't lost my magoi manipulation during it, but it was probably learning it ahead of time that had saved me. There's no way such a large amount of Rukh entering me wouldn't have made my body unstable.

Would the doctors understand if I explained it to them? I should ask Sinbad before saying something unnecessary.

The dim light from my windows called to me. I got out of my bed, put on my glasses, and sat on the sill of one them at the encouragement of the waves.

Like this, I could look down and see the Palace court yard. On the other side of the court yard were the Silver Scorpio (martial arts training), and Black Libra (libraries & schools) Towers, behind them to the left was the Red Cancer Tower (military) and fully to the left was the Purple Leo Tower where Sinbad lived. Since I was on a high floor I could easily see all of the towers of the Palace from my windows -all except the White Capricorn Tower where Ja'far does most of his work since that building was on the other side of this one.

It was so strange. Looking at all this made it real that I was really here. How many times had I reread or rewatched scenes wondering what it would feel like to be here?

I rested my head on the window frame as I watched the growing light from the sunrise.

The guards changed.

The sun was fully risen. Ja'far would be waking up Sinbad soon if he hadn't already.

Two people walked out of the Purple Leo Tower -a guard and a woman. She wasn't wearing a uniform. In fact she was wearing less than the citizens I saw the other day.

"Oh, right."

Sinbad has a call girl see to him after Ja'far wakes him up.

I had the 3rd fan book for the anime which contains a day-in-the-life for a bunch of the main characters. It was only in Japanese, but I had learned enough (and could look up what I didn't know) to at least read his schedule.

The direct translation was for a "temporary woman" which from what I've found is the Japanese term for a fem sex worker. I've seen some translations for Magi's extra material refer to them as "call girls" so that was the term I chose to use.

The franchise used the word "harem" in a bunch of places, but purposely didn't use it here. That combined with an omake of Sinbad having a nightmare about being married and having a harem made it clear that Sinbad did not have a harem; he had the whole red-light district of his country to choose from.

Hold on... That book wasn't supposed to reach my house until after I had Isekaied so how did I know it's contents? There were barely any scans or photos of pages online-

*Knock knock*

My thoughts

were cut off when breakfast arrived -with more medicine of course.

---

~POV Sinbad~

Nearly a week had passed since King Sinbad had arrived home. There was a lot to catch up on. As much as he wanted to finally relax after everything that happened in Balbadd he didn't really have the time for it. Even after catching up he would still have to prepare for his trip to the Kou Empire. And Ja'far wasn't letting him forget either responsibility.

None of this stopped him from having his slow mornings. He at least gave himself that little slice of heaven.

This was business as usual -at least it was supposed to be- but Sinbad couldn't shake a growing feeling that he couldn't name. It was making him unsettled. The waves didn't give him any answers and drinking hadn't made it go away. It felt similar to missing important.

He wasn't missing any paperwork. There had been an issue with one of their supply ships going missing, and another being delayed, but he had already decided how to proceed. He was definitely interested in the progress the Black Libra Tower was making with testing Mori's theories, but the experiments would take time and they had already scheduled a meeting for an update. The new guests were still settling in. Alibaba was a mess and Aladdin was only marginally better the last time he had visited, but Morgiana was fine and already training with Masrur regularly. According to the doctors reports, Mori would be better in another day or so, and the reports he got from the maids said she was resting every day after giving that partial scroll.

Maybe this was impatience. Aside from his paperwork, everything interesting was either done or waiting for the next step.

Sinbad often walked his country in the evening, but there was no reason he couldn't check on things now. He didn't have time to go for a walk at that moment, but he could spare the magoi needed to use Zepar and fly around the country using the bird he had possessed with the Djinn's power. This wouldn't be the first time he'd done this while working on paperwork.

The bird was sitting on a railing in the city center when Sinbad took over. From this spot he could make some quick rounds in the city and then maybe make a stop in the Black Libra Tower to get a sneak peak at what they had found out so far.

The same old gossip filled most of the streets. Some price complaints, who just had a child, how work was going...

"You're serious? A prophet?”

"My husband saw the scrolls she made from her visions with his own two eyes."

Now that was new gossip.

Sinbad had the bird land near by the two women.

"Oh? What was in them?"

"He said it was like reading secrets of the world."

"Really???"

"Mhmm." She nodded. "Not everyone believes it though so they are all working to test her writing."

"Didn't you just say she was brought in by our King? Do they really think he'd be fooled by some false prophet?"

"I said the same thing! And you know what my husband said? He said that they need to find proof even if they believe the Prophet because otherwise we won't be able to prove it to our allied countries."

"I guess that makes sense..."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Oh! I think I might know what she looks like!”

"What? How? You only learned about her just now."

"When King Sinbad came home, there was a girl on some magical flying cloth, remember? That has to have been the Prophet!"

"I think you're right!"

To two moved on to some other gossip and King had the bird fly towards the Palace. Listening to talk about his Beautiful Prophet reminded him of his mission to peek at what was happening in the Black Libra Tower. Being able to bypass the stairs and the gates made the journey much faster.

The Sun was already in the western side of the sky. Shadows were cast onto the court yard from the Black Libra Tower. The stone of the Green Sagittarius Tower was nearly blinding white from the direct light. Color flashed in the corner of his eye as the bird flew past the upper levels of the guest tower. Before his thoughts had fully registered the familiar shade of nearly black indigo, Sinbad was guiding the bird to investigate. He landed on the railing of one of the windows and looked at the young woman resting against that same window's frame.

Mori looked just as surprised to see a bird land right in front of her as he was to be there. Sinbad had purposely been avoiding using Zepar to spy on Mori since she somehow knew that he had eavesdropped on her before. It had been days since he last saw her, so when she was suddenly an option-

"Heh hehe"

Mori's chuckle and smile took his full attention. He didn't know what had made her laugh, but he hoped she'd do it again.

"Sir, are you aware you are a bird?” After the words passed her lips she was struck by a giggle fit.

Sinbad had no idea what she was thinking or why she had said that to a bird, but he was hearing her voice for the first time in nearly a week so he'd worry about figuring it out later.

When Mori finished laughing at her own joke she leaned her head to the side and watched him. Her hair shifted and another lock spilled over her shoulder. The sight brought attention to the low neckline of the dress she was wearing. If Sinbad was there in person he would have brushed her hair out of the way just to have an excuse to touch her.

"Did you miss me that much?" Her voice was soft and a bit playful. "You didn't have to use Zepar to visit me."

Mori knew it was him! Sinbad jolted and his head hit the back of his chair in his office. How could she tell? Only magicians could see magoi and Rukh to see the spell active on the bird.

"Sin, is something wrong?-” Ja'far had just entered the room to give his afternoon report.

King Sinbad raised a hand for him to be quiet and tapped Zepar's ring to explain the situation. He didn't want to talk and miss something Mori said or did.

The General's expression turned serious and nodded as he went quiet.

When Mori didn't get a response from the bird she added, "Are you surprised that I knew it was you?" Her smile was warm as the sun. "I have read your Fate many times, so I will always recognize you, my King."

Normally, the idea that someone could see through Zepar's magic would concern him, but this didn't. It strengthened his belief that Fate had guided Mori to him.

And the affectionate way she said "my King" at the end made him smile. The waves had moved like this a few times like the last time he had seen her in person, and when he learned she could also feel the waves. The Great Flow of the Rukh was guiding them to the Fate he could see, the one where she lived the rest of her life by his side.

Ja'far sighed. "Just let me know when I can give you my report."

Mori whipped her head towards the door to her room. "They're here early."

There were the sounds of people walking in the hallway, but no voices to denounce who, or their destination. All the same, Mori got up and walked to the door. She opened it before the doctors had a chance to knock.

"How did you...?" One of the doctors asked.

"I recognized the sound of your footsteps," was her answer.

"I see.... And how are you feeling today?"

Mori walked into her room, and spared a glance at the bird still watching her from the window. "I feel fine. Just like yesterday." She turned back towards the door and sat on the edge of her bed. "So can I finally leave this room?"

The doctors were understanding but they still were going to do a full check up first.

Even without the waves it was obvious that Mori was going to be marked as full health. Sinbad would prefer to go see her immediately and give her a tour of the Palace personally, but he was still a King with responsibilities. "Ja'far, Mori has just been declared healthy. What do you think of everyone having dinner together to get everyone better aquatinted?"

"I didn't hear anything about-” Ja'far started and then cut himself when he realized. "Were you just using Zepar to spy on her??"

"Of course not." Sinbad said with all of the confidence of the King he was. "I flew directly to her and she recognized me instantly. I wasn't spying at all."

"She recognized you??" Of course he'd be shocked.

King Sinbad laughed. "She did. Though she was surprised to see me."

"I bet she was surprised to suddenly see a bird in her room. What made you think to use Zepar instead of visiting her in person? You're already getting regular reports on her condition." Ja'far always acted as a buzz kill.

It didn't stop Sinbad from laughing at the situation before finally asking for that report he postponed earlier -conveniently avoiding answering Ja'far's question.

The magician in Mori's room was talking. "Would you be interested in visiting the Black Libra Tower with us? We can show you how the experiments are going. And if possible, would you be willing to answer some questions?"

That was an understandable request, but it could wear her out.

The Prophet was facing away from the windows so Sinbad couldn't see her expression. "I'd really like that actually." But he could hear the excitement growing in her voice.

"Let me get changed real quick." Mori disappeared behind her folding wall and emerged in the outfit he met her in.

Sinbad did not drop control of the bird, but he also didn't follow Mori out of her room. Instead he waited in the window sill until he saw her enter the courtyard and then had the bird fly to the Black Libra Tower.

---

As soon as he finished whatever last minute things Ja'far was about to add to his pile, Sinbad would go to the Black Libra Tower and surprise his Beautiful Prophet in person.

~POV Mori~

In the manga and in the anime the only areas shown of the Black Libra Tower were Yamuraiha's office/lab and one of the libraries. I was more than curious about the rest of the facilities.

The first room seemed to be a reception area and had a map of the tower. I only got to glance at the separations between the libraries, offices and class rooms before a tall and lanky magician walked up to us.

"Is this her??” Her short ponytail bounced as she looked between me and my guides.

Isa, the magician who had been taking care of me the past few days, introduced me. "This is Lady Mori, the Prophet!” He acted like he was showing off the coolest toy on the playground.

The tall woman got right up in my face. "I knew she had to be the Prophet! The Rukh don't normally move this way around people."

Before I got to respond she started rambling comments and questions that covered everything in maroon and peacock blue getting sponged across a cream canvas. I stepped back and Isa cut her off. "Lady Mori will be answering everyone's questions in time. We were just on our way to see Yamuraiha so I can show her how everything has been coming along. You are welcome to join us."

She definitely joined us. As did many others who spotted us or were called over by others in our procession.

We walked through a few library areas, and up a few flights of stairs. As we passed various rooms and areas I was told what or who would be inside, but I wouldn't remember any of the specifics until I had a chance to use the space and explore on my own. What did stick was that most of the classrooms were next to the libraries and the labs were near the offices.

Yamuraiha must have heard our group from down the hall because her head popped out from one of the rooms ahead of us. "What is going on out here??” Then she made eye contact with me. "It's you!!"

That made me smile. I fought back responding 'it's me!' like I would with my friends. "I'm Mori. I'm glad I'm finally getting the chance to meet you, Yamuraiha!” I stopped walking when I got 3 yards/meters away.

She immediately pulled her staff against her chest with both hands. Her shoulders tensed but she had an enthusiastic smile. "The pleasure is all mine!"

Yamuraiha was amazing, smart, and endearing. I really wanted to be friends with her.

I out stretched my hand to shake hers. "I'm really excited to work with you, and learn more about magic even though I'm not a magician."

"The feeling is mutual!” She took my hand more than matching my excitement. And when she released it said, "Since you're here, would you like to see what we've been working on from the scrolls you gave us?"

"Yes please!”

---

The lab she lead us to was a little down the hall. All of my scrolls were spread out on one table and a bunch of notes and different materials were on an other.

Yamuraiha pulled out parchment that had a complicated magic circle written on it. "We can't do much yet, and it still takes a catalyst and many magicians at once to control the amount of magoi safely but our alchemy magic has made a breakthrough from your writing."

She asked a few of the magicians that came with me to join her. They pointed their staffs and wands at the magic cycle. A large crystal in the room started glowing, and the Rukh lit up the space from within the circle. Specks were pulled out of the pile of ingredients nearby -dirt, scraps paper, a small potted plant- and gathered at the center of the circle. The light got too bright for me to look straight at it and when it faded there was a small dark grey cube in the middle of the circle. It looked like a die with no markings.

Yam explained. "After reading about 'atoms' and 'bonds' in your scrolls it was like finding the missing piece. It will still be a long time before we can perfect the process, and we still can't make anything bigger than this yet, but soon we will be able to make anything we want!"

((In the future I intend to: reference more old memes, describe more of my experience with synesthesia, and explain more basic history and science. SO you all have been warned lol))

I had to respond; I couldn't just continue staring in awe. When I tried to answer I ended up gasping since had forgotten to breathe. I chuckled at my own shock as well as the situation. I looked up at them. "You're all amazing to be able to develop this already from the little I wrote!" I looked back at the stone. "I knew I wrote the keys to Yunan's signature alchemy magic in those scrolls, but to think you've already gotten this far with it -its amazing."

With this -when developed farther- we could make certain materials without having to worry about the pollution, and break things down easily so we won't have to worry about garbage piling up everywhere.

"Did you say Yunan? The Magi, Yunan?" Yamuraiha looked at me with wide eyes.

"Yes." It was my turn to explain. "Yunan is able to use alchemy magic like this on a grand scale. In the Fates I read he will have reason to visit Sindria in about 2 years. He creates a cabin and food in the middle of the Palace court yard so he has somewhere comfortable to stay."

The bird in the window ruffled it's feathers.

"Yunan explains the basic concept of how that magic works when asked, and since I know the science of the physical world I know the details to what he was talking about." My smile widened. "I hope my notes were easy to understand. Please let me know if you have any questions."

[headinthestaticsky]

Extras for The Dusk Calls for me.

Authors Note: While I plan out the next few chapters of my story, enjoy these memories I did for the re-write I did on Wattpad.

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions and a attempt of SA

Time: This Takes place a year before the beginning of The Dusk Calls for me.

"Makes me feel like flying

Top-down backstreet driving Dusty road all alone

Tip my hat Puff of smoke, smoke

Makes me feel like flying

I just run ."

American Gurl by: Kilo Kish

I was finally out, those words of bile my mother and sister spew toward me finally pushed me over the edge. Yet those words finally got me back with my father in Forks, where I always belonged.

Flashback: One Week Ago.

"FLEUR! GET DOWN HERE NOW!" My erratic mother Renee yelled from downstairs.

My heart started beating out of my chest, what did I do this time? I walked into the dining room, Renee and Isabella were sitting at the table across from where I was sitting. Bella had a smirk on her face relishing in the tension between Renee and I.

"Yes?" I asked.

"You always have to cause trouble don't you?' She replied back, malice laced her voice.

"What? What are you even talking about?"

"Bella told me you've been saving money to go see your father in Forks." She spat at me.

My rapidly beating heart sunk down into my stomach, I had been trying to see my dad in Forks for a year now. My mother refused to get me a plane ticket herself, she always told me I reminded her too much of my father and that I didn't need to be around him anymore than I already was which wasn't often.

"Mother, it's my money I can do with it as I please," I said calmly though I could feel the rage beginning to boil in my blood.

"YOU AREN'T GOING!" She yelled demandingly.

I couldn't control myself, it was as if someone else had entered my body.

"WHAT IN THE HELL IS SO WRONG FOR WANTING TO SEE MY FATHER!?"

"I'M NOT GOING TO WASTE THAT KIND OF MONEY ON YOU!"

"Well you aren't now aren't you? It's my own money and I will use it however the hell I want to!"

"Oh don't you..." Renee started.

"Are you going to tell me you would be doing the same thing if Bella was the one wanting to go see dad?"

"She isn't a trouble maker." She snapped back.

"How am I a trouble maker? For wanting my mother to be kind and considerate? For wanting my mother to treat me with respect? To get an ounce of love from the frozen, undead heart inside your chest?" I asked, my face heated up it felt like it was burning.

"If you can't stand to be around us so much why don't you just move down there to Forks?"

"I will, just give me the rest of the money for the plane ticket and I swear to god the second I walk out that door I will NEVER come back!"

"Fine..." I turned away from her before she could say anything else. Before I reached the stairs I turned around again, looking directly at Bella.

"Get away from her while you can Isabella, or you're going to end up being just as toxic as she is." I then left before they could say anything else.

Flashback over: 2 years before the Original story begins.

I looked to the side, staring out the window. The desert plains had disappeared while I slept and now the lush green forests overtook the view. The fog wasn't heavy but the skies were covered with dark grey clouds and a downpour of rain. The cold weather was a lot more favorable in my opinion, the sun couldn't burn my skin much here. The plane had begun to shake signaling that the plane was beginning to land. I couldn't wait to see my father again, I hadn't seen him since my 12th birthday. When I got off the plane I stretched, being cramped in a small plane for an almost 3-hour flight wasn't exactly the most comfortable.

I walked through the crowded airport, scanning the area for my father. I bumped into some disgruntled couples and quickly left before I was caught in the crossfires of their mood.

"Petal?" I heard from behind me. I turned around quickly recognizing that voice, it could calm me down before I got into trouble.

"Dad..." I said fondly before running up to hug him.

My heartfelt I little more full, and the pain my mother inflicted on me was healed for the time being. We walked out together, each of us was carrying a bag. The wind was strong today and my hair was flying all of the places. Its cooling touch raised goosebumps on my skin, mom didn't buy any warmer clothes for me so I was stuck in the typical Arizona tank tops and shorts. Luckily for me, the car was already warmed up so I dethawed quickly. We drove for a few minutes in silence, the roar of the engine and other passing cars were the only sounds filling the space.

"So, how have you been? I feel like I haven't seen you in a while." Dad said.

"I've been better, you know how mom is," I mumbled.

"I don't know what happened to her, she wasn't like that in high school. If she was I wouldn't have even wasted a second on her."

"I know you would've dad...she's cruel for sure. She's just good at hiding it from people she wants to impress."

"Yeah, she is."

The drive was a giant wave of nostalgia, being 16 now and seeing all of the familiar sites and views brought back fond memories. The old ice cream shop dad use to take me to, the reservation that Sam and Leah lived on, it all brought me back. It also fueled anger, however, as my mother constantly kept me under the brutal radiation of the sun.  Dad must've seen the look on my face and put his hand on my shoulder.

"It's going to be okay Petal, you're away from her now." He comforted.

"It's not just her dad... Bella's acting like her too."

"That's a shame... it really is."

"Yeah... it is." I sighed.

"I just can't wait to get back home, the attic is calling for me."

Dad chuckled before speaking again.

"You know... I heard you just got your license... So I got you an older car."

"You did not have to do that dad."

"It doesn't get in until next week, so I'll have to drive you to school until then," Dad said as if that would balance out the fact he got me a car.

"That's fine dad. What is it?"

"It's an old Mustang, a Fastback."

"Thank you, dad..."

"No problem Petal.

When we pulled into the driveway of our small but beautiful home the nostalgia fully set in. The colors were exactly the same, and the grass was just as muddy and dead as before.

"Well I cleared off some shelves for you in the bathroom, your room was a bit dusty so I just cleaned it for you," Dad explained as he helped me take my luggage upstairs.

"Sounds good, thank you again, dad, I love you."

"Love you too Petal." He kissed my head before closing the door behind me. The room was bare, I would have to fix it later on. I collapsed on my bed, facing the ceiling.

"I'm home."

September 17th, 2004.

"Dad I have to go, I don't want to be late on my first day!" I exclaimed throwing on a leather jacket.

"Petal I am almost ready, I never knew you were so much of a bookworm." He joked, ruffling my hair.

"Dad I am an entire school year ahead of where I should be... I take my education very seriously." I said, trying to hide the growing smirk on my face.

"Alright alright let's go," Dad said, taking my arm and pulling me out the door.

We were only driving for a little bit when I decided to roll the window down, I placed my arms on where the window used to be and rested my head on them. My hair blew out of my face and the cool mist of Forks hit me. When we arrived at the school dad was scanning the parking lot looking for a place to park when he passed right by a group of people. They were all gorgeous, their faces seemingly perfectly sculpted, and they all had the same colored eyes, golden. My eyes locked with one however, they were filled with pain for a second before melting into shock. something strange filled my chest and my heart began to race. As we drove past them I gave him a smile, hoping to ease his shock.

Timeskip: September 30th, 2004

Something was up, the boy I saw outside that window, Jasper Hale was more than what he seemed. He was freezing cold all the time, and I swore I saw his eyes turn black for a split second when he saw a boy from another make a gesture toward me. It was strange really, we had been friends for a few weeks but he seemingly had a protective...energy over me. But at the same time, I still felt something... I couldn't explain it. It was as if we were connected to each other in some way. My dad had to take my car to the shop and he couldn't pick me up today so I decided to take a trip to the library, hoping to find some new material to read.

I didn't realize how long I had been in the library until I looked out of the small windows of the building. The sky was darkened and daylight was running out, I checked out a few books and left not wanting to be stuck walking in the night. I was a few blocks home when I heard 3 men talking behind me.

"Oh looks at this one..."

"She seems perfect for us."

"Come here girly... we just want to talk."

My heart raced and my pace quickened, speed walking home. I tried taking weird turns and cuts but they wouldn't fall for the bait. I decided to run for it hoping my legs would be quick enough to evade them all. I was then pushed against the wall 2 minutes into my escape again, the smell of alcohol made me want to retch.

"You aren't very good at listening to orders." One murmured, his face was inches away from me, he breathed in my scent and began to chuckle.

"Don't be too hard on her... I like ones that fight." Another said

"Make this easy on yourself girl..."

One reached down to take off my clothes when he was suddenly thrown back a few feet into the air. I just stood against the wall shocked, I saw Jasper standing over the man before making his way over to the other two men. They both took off leaving their "friend" behind but Jasper zoomed toward them. His speed was inhuman and his strength was unprecedented yet I couldn't stop myself from moving from my spot. The other two men were flown into the air and scream on impact. Jasper grabbed them both by the throats.

"If you EVER try to touch her or any woman for that matter like that again... I. will. kill. you!" He growled before releasing them down on the ground. They gasped and ran again, babbling in terror toward one another.

Jasper walked toward me with a guilty look on his face, his hand reached out for mine and I took it without even thinking.

"Come with me Darlin' I have a lot to explain to you." He said softly, his mood had completely changed with me.

We walked for a few moments in silence, I side-eyed him for any shift in behavior, when it didn't I decided to interrogate him.

"How did you do that?" My voice trembled.

He sighed before replying.

"I'm a vampire." He said blatantly.

I looked at him and laughed thinking it was a joke... when he didn't join I stopped and looked at him with shock.

"You're serious?" I said, my eyes widening again.

"Yes I am, I've been 17 for...141 years. I got changed during the Civil War."

"Damn... you're old... wait were you in the Civil War?"

"Yes, I was drafted to the Confederate Army when I was 17..."

"Yikes..."

"You're telling me, I ran away the first chance I got... I wasn't going to fight in some war that was fueled by warped and disgusting ideas just because I was forced to. I never thought the way they did... I never understood why someone could think so low of a human being just because of his skin."

"That's very brave of you."

"I had just made it to Galveston when I decided to take a break... I ended up on a beach... that's when I ran into an immortal named Maria. She was creating an army and decided that I would be a good fit for it."

"She changed you against your will?"

"I didn't even know what she was doing until I felt searing pains from my arms all the way up to my neck." He explained rolling up his sleeves and showing me his scars."

I traced the teeth marks on his forearm before looking up at him again.

"I'm sorry that happened to you..."

He looked up at me in shock.

"You... you feel sympathy for something like me? I'm a monster..." He said sincerely.

"It wasn't even your choice as to what you became... and I don't think a monster would've saved me back there. Face it, Jasper, you're a big softie who's had bad experiences in his long... long life."

He chuckled before glancing at me, we made it back to the house, dad still wasn't home yet. We walked into the backyard, sitting in patio chairs and looking up at the stars.

"There's something else I have to tell you." Jasper admitted in the darkness.

I looked at him in confusion, what else did he have to tell me? He's a werewolf too?

"You're..." He hesitated. "You're my mate." He said quickly.

"What? How... vampires have mates?" I asked in shock.

"Yes we do, and we instantly know when we've met them. Didn't you feel it, when you looked out that window at me? It was enamour... love, something I have never experienced before."

"I haven't either... but I have to admit I felt something too. I just didn't know what it was, I felt connected to you somehow though. But... I'm 16... falling deeply in love isn't exactly something I planned."

"I understand completely. I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do. I understand I am a vampire... this is a lot to take in." Jasper said lowering his head in shame, his curls covered his eyes.

I sat up and turned to him.

"Hey, hey it's not just because you're a vampire honest! I just need to think things through... we can still talk in and out of school I won't push you out." I said a bit faced-paced. I didn't want to hurt his feelings he did just save me after all.

He looked and me and grabbed my hand.

"Take all the time you need Fleur, I will accept your answer no matter what is it." He said sincerely.

"Thank you... Jasper."

"It's not any trouble." His face lit up all of the sudden, car headlights entered my line of view. I felt my hand by dropped by his cold one and a whoosh of wind flew my hair forward. I turned back around and he was gone.

Timeskip: October 16th, 2004.

It was hard, weighing the pros and cons of being with Jasper.

Pros: We were soulmates... destined to be with each other, He knew my limits and respected my boundaries, he gave me a choice, not forcing me into something I might not want to do, and he was a kind and gentle soul. We understood each other, our hearts and souls were connected and I would never find someone else I would be so close to.

Cons: He was a creature who thirsted for blood... a thirst he didn't always have the best control over, Being in a serious relationship at such a young age was a huge commitment I didn't even fully know who I was... would I ever be able to find out who I am being so committed to someone If I did become involved in a relationship two things would happen... I would die and leave him lonely for eternity, or I would be turned into a vampire... leaving my family behind.

My mulling over of the pros and cons was interrupted, a girl had cleared her throat. I looked up realizing I was still in the school library, standing in the back of the constant isles of books. I turned to the voice and my eyes were shocked to see Rosalie Hale looking at me.

"Rosalie? Is there something you need?" I asked.

"Let's go for a walk, I need to talk to you in private." She said she seemed tense about something.

I checked out the books I got before following her to the outside, we walked near the edge of the woods. The dead leaves and grass crunched underneath our feet.

"I know Jasper told you about us... and he told me that you wanted to think somethings over with him." She started.

"Hey... I just wanted to let you know I would never tell anyone about you guys... And I'm not trying to hurt Jasper with me thinking our relationship over. It's just a lot of process." By the time I finished that statement she laughed and patted my shoulder.

"Don't worry Fleur I completely understand why you want to think over some things... I would too if I were in your shoes. Besides, I trust you... I get a good vibe off of you." Rosalie replied smiling at me.

"I want to get into a relationship with Jasper I do but... I don't want to leave my father... he's all I got right now and I'm all he's got."

"Hey, I promise no one would force you into becoming a vampire in our family... I especially wouldn't force you to."

"Really?"

"Yes of course... It's nice to meet someone with a respect for mortality."

"It's just... I always to do certain things... like going to that art school in Cayon City Oregon... the Art Museums down there are amazing... and I always wanted to kid when I was older... a little boy." I explained smiling fondly at the thought.

"I did too... I always wanted a son."

"But at the same time... I wouldn't want to spend all my time with Jasper... only to leave him alone for eternity you know?" I asked her hoping she would get my point of view.

"Of course... I can tell you've been conflicted these past few weeks about it. But I wanted to vouch for Jasper... he's willing to do anything for you, and his thirst for blood has never been more controlled than when he's been with you. He won't take you away from your family either... he would never want to hurt you in any way possible." She explains turning toward me to look me in the eyes so the message could really sink in.

"Thanks, Rosalie..."

"Of course...give Jasper a chance, I promise it'll be worth it." She said.

"I will... I'll talk to him tonight, thanks for the guidance."

"No problem."

Timeskip: October 16th, 2004: 10:12 PM

Dad was gone, he had to work late down at the station tonight. My palms and legs shook nervous to tell Jasper my decision. I was sitting in the same spot I was in when Jasper told me I was his soulmate... the cool air calmed my nerves slightly before I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Fleur? You said you wanted to talk to me... are you okay?" Jasper's voice asked worryingly behind my closed lids.

"Yeah, I'm fine... I just wanted to give you an answer about... everything."

He sat down adjacent to me and nodded, wanting me to continue.

"I will get into a relationship with you... thank you for giving me the time to think about things."

He smiled before asking me if he could kiss my cheek. I said yes of course and it seemed my body melted in bliss and content. All the past weeks' tensions and worrying left me and it was replaced with love... and a sense of stability. We looked up at the stars and I pointed toward the largest one in the sky.

"You see that one?" I said.

"Yes, I do Darlin'."

"That is the star of the path I started with you..."

[logan-please-smile-speaks]

[Long, Tw food (in depth descriptions), brief references to unnamed heavenly beings of no specified religion, brief reference to hell. Not really any angst. Just good Dadza.]

[Hurt/comfort my beloved]

Me: i can't write

Also me: writes an entire fic by accident while telling my friend about an idea I had

(I'm gonna need this ask back at some point so don't keep it too long, okay? But make sure to take care of yourself (unlike Techno sksksks))

(How many words is this) (Cenn I've been writing this for like 3-4 hours. I've been hyperfixating on this)

-@2ble

I had this really cute idea where Techno gets sick after doomsday and Dadza takes care of him (for an animatic, or? How should i draw techno?)

Phil's Dadza side kicks in. He gently pushes Techno, who is in full garb back into bed. "Techno, you're sick. You can't go."

"But I haven't streamed in 2 weeks!"

"Rest."

Techno turns on his side in bed. Dadza gently pulls the blankets up and tucks them around Techno. Techno begins to cough, and the coughs rack his body. Dadza's expression is soft and concerned. He rubs his hand on Techno's back until he stops coughing. Techno closes his eyes. He's exhausted.

Dadza takes Techno's crown and places it on the bedside table.

He observes his ill friend. Techno is nothing like what he was up until Doomsday. He seemed--weak. Vulnerable. Sick.

"Have you had anything to eat, Techno?"

Techno doesn't open his eyes. He shakes his head. "I ran out of food a few days ago. I meant to get more but..." Techno doesn't want to admit that he couldn't get downstairs. He doesn't want to admit to weakness, to vulnerability. But everytime he thought of searching through chests, of trading with the villagers, they just seemed so far away.

Phil noticed a tear leaking out from Techno's eyelid. If he brushed it away, Techno would feel worse about his state because it would mean he was in fact vulnerable.

"I'll make you some stew."

Phil goes downstairs and tends to the fireplace. The fire seemed to have gone out sometime between now and the last time Phil checked on Techno.

How long has the house been this cold?

Phil builds up the fire and puts a cauldron over it. He makes mushroom stew because he doesn't know if techno can stomach rabbit stew.

When it's ready, he ladels it into a bowl and climbs the ladder.

Hanging off the ladder by one hand, he calls out. "Techno, stew's ready."

Techno's eyes flutter open. He sees his friend holding out a bowl of food and his eyes widen.

Phil notices that Techno is sweating and the blanket strewn to the side, only covering his feet.

"Are you too hot mate?" he asks.

Techno is broiling but he can't summon the strength to take off his outer clothes. His body refuses.

He's more focused on food. He's starving, and his body uses up what little resources it has left to sweat.

Phil walks over and puts the stew on the table. The heavenly aroma fills the room.

"Let's get this coat off of you." Phil reaches around Techno and unclasps the chain on his neck. He gently pulls the coat off of Techno's arm but he's still laying on it.

"Techno," Phil says.

"Whaaat," Techno drawls.

"You got to let me get this coat off ya mate."

Techno lets out a deep groan, then turns over on his stomach so his other arm is towards Phil.

Phil reaches under techno and grasps the coat. He pulls it out from under Techno and off his arm. The sleeve turns inside out. Phil fixes the sleeve and hangs up the coat.

Techno's shirt is drenched in sweat. He rolls over and starts fidddling with the button closest to his throat, looking up at Phil.

"Here, I'll get that for you." Phil undoes the button. He can't imagine how tired techno must've been after Doomsday, that he just collapsed in bed fully clothed, not even bothering to loosen them.

At least he took off his armor. Sh-t's heavy, he thinks. Phil ignores the fact that after the adrenaline and excitement wore off, the sore and tired Technoblade probably couldn't move with it on.

Phil pulls the blanket off the bed entirely, folds it, and places it on the table next to the stew. He pulls off Techno's shoes and socks and puts them near his coat.

They were also drenched with sweat, not to mention the smell--but it doesn't bother Phil all that much. He's smelled worse. He's frowns at the imprints on Techno's legs from the socks.

Phil loosens the rest of Techno's clothes. Techno seemed to were his tightest, least comfortable, most regal outfit to Doomsday.

Lucky for them both most of that was just accesories and pins, and Phil could easily remove those.

While Phil was doing this, Techno had been lying on his back, eyes closed. Though Techno tended to be stone-faced, Phil noticed the relief on Techno's face.

"How you feelin', Techno?"

"Philzaaa,"

"Yeah?"

Techno opens his eyes halfway, just enough to see Philza and the bottom of the bed.

"Do you have water?"

Phil procures a water bucket from his bag. "Thirsty mate?"

Techno looks at the water bucket and a small smile creeps over his face.

Phil smiles at his friend. He moves to the head of the bed and looped his arm and tattered wing around Techno and sits him up.

He holds the bucket up to Techno's mouth and tips it to his lips. Techno sips gratefully as the cool liquid pours over his hot, dry mouth and down his throat, cooling him from the inside.

"You've lost quite a bit of fluid, mate."

Techno lets some of the cold water slip out the sides of his mouth and drip down his face. His skin is boiling. The water dropelts running down his skin feel like heavenly beings allowing drops of mercy to fall upon him in the pit of hell.

Techno pulls back briefly to swallow and catch his breath and Phil rights the bucket. Techno leans in again for more water.

After drinking his fill, Techno leans back and wipes his mouth with his arm.

"All done, Techno?"

Techno swings his arms up knocks the bucket out of Phil's hand, dumping it on his head. The gush of water cools Techno, drenches the bed, and spills all over the room. Phil can't help but laugh. He picks up the bucket and scoops up the water source. He puts the bucket back in his bag.

"Had enough of the water?"

"Philza--I gotta be honest with you, Philza I haven't felt this good in weeks."

Phil laughs again even louder. The two friends are now in a good mood.

"Well now your stew is probably cold too." Phil tastes it. "Actually it's a bit warm still. Not too hot, either."

Techno scoots towards the wall and leans on it. He reaches for the bowl.

"Oh, no you don't."

"Phil, I'm a grown man-pig. I can hold a bowl."

"Maybe on a good day, Techno, but three minutes ago you couldn't sit up by yourself. No offense mate, but I don't think your arms have enough stamina right now. Now come on and eat."

Phil lifts the bowl to Techno's lips and lets him sip at his own pace. He pulls it back.

"How does it taste?"

"Pretty good but could maybe use a little salt."

"Eh, you probably need electrolytes as well after sweating through your clothes and drinking all that water."

Phil put the bowl on the downstairs counter.

Phil found salt in the downstairs chest and stirred it into the cauldron.

He heard the bowl fall to the floor behind him. It fell facedown and spilt on the floor.

Phil swore quietly.

He got a new bowl and more stew from the cauldron.

"How is it?" Techno inquired.

"Try for yourself," Phil said. He smiled as he held the bowl to Techno.

Techno looked at the bowl, then up at Phil. He took a sip.

Techno pulled back and looked at the bowl.

Phil thought he may have tainted the stew somehow. "Is it bad?" he started to say.

But he didn't quite get out anything after "Is" because Techno cut him off.

"It's delicious." Techno looked up at his friend. "Philza Minecraft, you should be a chef. This is the most wonderful thing I've ever tasted."

Phil chuckled. "All I did was add salt, what ya mean?"

"Phil, you have to sell this stew to the rest of the SMP. We could get rich!"

"Techno, I think the sickness may have gotten to your head a bit."

"Phil, I've never been more serious about anything in my entire life. We could be the the most powerful people on the server!"

"We already are. We just blew up a country. Down to bedrock."

"But we could get even more rich and powerful!"

"Well I'll be happy to listen after you eat. And rest. And bathe."

"I don't need to bathe."

"You're not getting out of it. You reek, mate."

"You can't judge me by the smell!"

"I'm not worried about the smell so much as what the smell tells me about your body. I don't know when the last time you washed was but it was definitely before Doomsday and I can't have you laying in your own sweat and filth for much longer. It's sh-t for your health, Techno."

"Philza--"

"Please just eat, Techno."

Techno leaned his head forward slightly and Phil pressed the bowl to Techno's lips.

Techno closed his eyes and savored the flavors. They were so pleasant, so soothing, so comforting. They reminded him of a time when he was safe and there was no betrayal. No war. No need for violence and bloodshed and destruction.

Phil, being a good Dadza friend, made sure that Techno ate an entire bowl. He brought Techno another bowl upon his request, of which he ate half, then left the other half bowl on the table in case Techno got hungry later.

After changing Techno's bed to clean, dry sheets and tucking his friend back into bed, he went downstairs to clean up the spill. He told Techno he would be back at sunrise to check on him. Though he might come earlier just in case. Sunrise was just the latest. Phil had decided that since Techno had gotten through the brunt of his hibernation and was now waking up sick, he should check on him at least twice a day.

Phil scrubbed the dried stew off the floor. He wondered what could've made Techno love it so much. Mere salt couldn't have made it so delicious, could it?

Phil finished cleaning the floor and the bowl and put everything away. As he was about to leave, he stopped. Eyes locked on the cauldron. There was something about it.

I can't leave that there, he reasoned. It will go to waste. If Techno like it, I can't let it waste or burn. I should freeze it outside.

Phil took out a bowl and knelt in front of the fire place. He scoop up big, full ladels into his bowl. Could it be that the soup was really that much better with something as basic as salt?

Phil dipped his finger in the bowl and sucked the stew off of it. He was instantly transported to his childhood. His mind played out feelings of safety, of healing, of comfort, of rest.

He heard his family laughing, remembered learning how to fly, the first time he soared high, feeling the wind beneath his wings. He remembered when Wilbur was born, holding the tiny baby in his arms, filled with love. "I'll always protect you. I'll always be there for you." When he met Techno, when he built the bee farm, and so on.

Phil was moved to tears. He felt loved. He felt like someone loved him no matter his flaws, his mistakes. Phil cried.

It was not out of pain but rather emotion. He wiped away his tears and drank the rest of the stew in his bowl, but it only caused more tears to stream down his face.

Techno was right.

Outside, watching through the window was the one who made the soup what it was. It wasn't Phil's salt.

He stood on his hind legs, paws pressed against the wall of the house.

He had been listening to the two friends talk, had been watching protectively as the wind ruffled his thick white fur.

He was Technoblade's guardian.

Soon he would be called Steve.

2ble this is literally amazing hello????

[mrsseverussnape]

Love Is You - chapter 3

a/n: I dunno why i am posting these literally middle of the night everytime but here we go again💁🏼‍♀️

     Tomorrow there would be the divorce suit at the Ministry. Scarlett has become worse both mentally and physically till this day. So Carina had to write Leonidas couple of days after their mum told her about the situation because she wasn’t able to help and control both of their parents and work at the same time. Leo was shaken by the news but immediately took a leave from work and came to London from New York to stay with his mum for a week. His mother was his favourite person in the whole wide world and seeing her so down broke his heart into pieces. He would not be able to fully forgive his dad ever. And after that one week, Scarlett would live with Carina at Hogwarts for a while until she was feeling better.

"Mum it is enough wine for tonight, stop please." Leo took the wine glass and the bottle away from Scarlett. "I don't want you to be hangover tomorrow."

"It's just my 5th glass, give it back Leo."

"No alcohol for you anymore, you drink too much lately but not eating anything!"

"That's how i cope! It makes my mind blurry so i stop thinking about the situation over and over again!" She covered her face with her hands and started to cry who knows how many times today.

She was crying almost all day everyday since she found out about the cheating. That was heart breaking for the twins and Scarlett's parents; Ricardus and Aurelia. The moment Ricardus found about it, he went to find Sirius before anyone could stop him and Merlin knows what he did. Sirius was like a son to him but no one could hurt his princess and if someone does, they need to pay the price.

Leo hugged his mum tightly and kissed her tear-stained cheek. He adored his mother so much and he couldn't stand to see her in this condition.

"Let’s take you to the bed mum, you should rest for tomorrow." 

She nodded lightly; she was extremely tired because of lack of sleeping so Scarlett let Leo to escort her to her bedroom without putting a fist. Leo laid her down on her bed carefully and tucked her like she did to him when he was little.

"I love you mum, have a good night. Call out to me if you need anything."

"Love you too baby, night..." She mumbled while already giving up to sleep.

      The court was going to start at 10 o'clock so they had to be at the Ministry around 9:30. Scarlett was up early in the morning since she could only sleep for only 2-3 hours. She took a hot shower and started to get ready unwillingly. She looked at herself in the mirror for the first time in days. Scarlett felt like she got older in such a short time. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying endlessly and she had dark circles around them from lack of sleeping, she has lost couple of pounds already because she was not eating at all but having alcohol nonstop. "That's not me..." She mumbled to herself and looked through her closet. Then she picked a formal black dress, did her hair, and put her signature red lipstick on. She was trying to look at least decent even she had no will to do anything at all but maybe the outfit would give her some power.

     2 hours later Scarlett and the twins were sitting at the ministry and waiting for their turn at the court. Scarlett was so nervous and scratching her hands like she always did when she was under stress; she wasn’t aware but she has made them bleed ever so slightly. After a while Sirius showed up too. He wasn't looking any better than Scarlett and maybe even worse appearance wise. He has put his hair in a messy bun and his clothes were in need of ironing. The moment he noticed them, Sirius immediately made his way to Scarlett but she was trying her best not to look at him.

"Scar we can renounce this court, i don't want to divorce. I love you..." 

He tried to fall at Scarlett's feet, but his son made him to stand still before he could do it.

"Dad, stop it please. It is already hard for her, don't make it harder." Leo said firmly.

"Do you want us to divorce, Leonidas!?"

"That's the right thing after what you have done. Maybe you should have thought before act mindlessly. Now leave mum alone."

Sirius was about to respond but Carina acted faster.

"Dad, Leo, it is not the right place or time to argue. Stop it." Carina said with a sigh.

   Couple of minutes later, the worker called out their names. Scarlett stood up and walked to the courtroom’s door, but she stopped at the doorsill. She knew if she took one more step, she wouldn't be able to change her mind anymore but she took a deep breath and walked in. Half an hour later the court has ended, they were divorced now, 26 years of marriage was ended in a heartbeat. Scarlett felt numb say the least, she was hearing her kids talking to her and seeing them moving around but couldn't react to any of them. It was like a nightmare that you cannot wake up from.

"Mum? Mum!?" Carina shook her shoulder lightly to gain her attention.

"Yes yes, let’s get out of here..." Scarlett mumbled and walked out of the Law Department.

Leo was escorting Sirius out even they had an argument before the court. It was the first time he saw his dad crying helplessly and being devastated that much. Leo was still upset with him but overall, he was his dad and he couldn't help himself but felt bad for him too. Leo knew how much he loved his wife and adored her, because of that the thing he has done was so hard to believe for anyone who knows them.

"Please tell me all of this is not real and just a bad dream son, please..."

Leo didn't answer, just rubbed Sirius's back to calm him down. Sirius took off a cigarette out of his pocket and lighted it, apparently he has started to smoke again.

"You can't smoke inside, sir. You need to get out." A security approached him immediately.

Sirius cursed and walked outside angrily, Leo followed to keep an eye on him and said to Carina "I will be waiting you outside." On his way.

Carina nodded and looked at her mum when she said something silently. But Carina was unable to understand and made her to repeat it.

"I need to pack my stuff."

"What stuff mum?"

"I resigned."

Carina looked at her with wide eyes. She wasn’t ready for another surprise.

"When did you do that mum? Why?"

"A week ago. I can't work here anymore." Scarlett was talking so emotionless, she sounded like her soul was sucked by dementors.

"Why tho? You love your job."

Scarlett just shrugged her shoulders, didn't want to tell her the real reason. She hasn’t told Carina who was the woman and that she also works at the Ministry. 15 minutes later they have packed her stuff from her room, said farewell to the Minister and now they were going down with the elevator. But on the next floor to their chance Arabelle Fullalove got on the elevator as well. Scarlett was out of her mind, didn't even notice her until Arabelle started to talk to her.

"Hello Mrs. Black, ah sorry i should call you Miss Rose now." Said smirking.

Arabelle was the last person Scarlett wanted to see right now but here she was. Scarlett ignored her but Arabelle was persistent to cause a scene and she looked like she was having the time of her life.

"Don't we talk? I think we have so many things to talk now."

"Sorry but who are you? Could you please leave my mum alone? She doesn't want to talk." Carina took a step to stand between two of them.

"You are her daughter huh?" Arabelle smiled wickedly. "Well, i am the woman that your daddy chose over your mother. But no surprise that he wanted someone new."  Sent a contemptuous look at Scarlett. Now she has managed to gain everyone’s attention in the elevator and the people has started to whisper.

Carina drew her wand at Arabelle, furiously. 

"If you say one more thing, i will hurt you!"

"How cute, little girl protecting her mummy because she is pathetic!." Arabelle let out an evil laugh, at the moment elevator stopped and she hopped out still laughing.

    Scarlett was visibly shaking and tears were collected in her eyes but she was trying not to cry in front of many people. She has already felt humiliated enough after the things Arabelle has said, now everyone at the Ministry would know about it. Carina was so angry; she couldn't believe how cruel and shameless that woman was. She couldn’t do anything to calm her mum down since she wasn’t calm herself. When they arrived the ground floor, Scarlett run out of the elevator crying her eyes out; she couldn't hold it anymore.

"Mum wait!" Carina followed her running.

"Mum…? Carry?  What is going on!?"  Leo asked worriedly and tried to hold Scarlett since he was waiting right next to the outside door. But Scarlett was having a nervous breakdown and was not listening anybody, she threw herself on the ground crying. The twins decided to take her to St. Mungo’s because they didn’t know how to handle her at this point, Scarlett was the calmest and non-problematic one in the family so no one was used to that. The healers took her to a room and gave her sedatives immediately when they arrived; the sedatives showed their effects quicky and everyone relieved a bit. While Scarlett was sleeping, Carina told everything that happened in the elevator to Leo. He couldn’t believe the things he just heard and they made him so angry that he just wanted to hurt the woman. She didn’t have any rights to act like that to their mum.

"She didn't deserve any of this, not in the slightest. It is breaking my heart to see her like that..."

“I don't know what we can do to make her happy again. I missed her smile Leo, I missed her giggles..." 

Leo hugged his sister tightly, he wanted nothing but to see their mum happy again. "We will figure it out, everything will be fine again..."

Taglist:

@snapefiction @lizlil @elizabeth-baelish @misselsbells06 @mais-e @lunnybunny12 @anfre109 @entirelymesmerising @wolvesofwinter13 @mrssnivellussnape

If you wanna be on my taglist, let me know!

[paradox-psyc-hoe-sis]

5 + 1; Bucky Barnes

(Five times Bucky Barnes almost kissed you, plus the one time that he did)

Bucky x reader, avengers x reader ,(platonic)

Warnings: a lil bit of swearing :)

Word count: 4.4 k (I'm sorry)

A/n: I LOVED WRITING THIS SO MUCH! I'm back at it again with my obsession with James Barnes, so here it is. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy it! - Aphrodite :))

(1) "C'mon James, you need to go to bed!" Bucky was sprawled out on the sofa in the Avengers common area, face pale and clammy. You had been with the avengers for a year, and Bucky was definitely the person you were closest with. You didn't know if you saw him as a brother, a best friend or even something more, but you both definitely felt connected.

"Y/n," he groaned, "I'm fine. I've survived Russian medical tests and torture, a little cold is something I can handle." He sniffed and wiped his nose on a tissue, putting it into his jumper pocket. He looked seriously in pain, his forehead sparked beads of sweat and his eyes looked tired, almost hollow.

"Firstly, it's not a cold, it's the flu." You stated, picking up a few stray tissues and throwing them into the bin a few meters away. "Secondly, if you don't go to bed now I will carry you, and God knows neither of us want that." You glared at him, expression stern with your hands on your hips.

"Good god, you're beginning to turn into Steve." He muttered, rising from the sofa. Heaving in pain, you put his arm over your shoulders and helped him to his room.

Once you got to Bucky's room, he sat on the edge of the bed. You stayed at the door, holding onto the door frame. "Right, change into your pyjamas and get comfy in bed. I'm going to the medical bay to get you some cold & flu meds, a thermometer and a glass of water. I'll be back in two secs."

Once you left, Bucky took off his jumper and sweats, to be left in a black tank top and his boxers. He flopped into bed, pulling the blanket up to his waist. You returned after a few minutes, not bothering to knock on the door. You spend more time in his room than yours, and you knew he didn't mind your presence.

Panting, you set down a small glass of water and a box of tablets, holding a small thermometer and cloth in the other hand. He looked up at you, puzzled at your breathlessness.

"Ran into Tony...on the way...had to run away...so he wouldn't ask me why...I had medicine and stuff." You took a few deep breaths and plopped onto the bed, sitting cross-legged facing Bucky. Taking the dry cloth, you gently patted at his forehead, mopping up a small bit of sweat. You continued to do this, moving a few stray pieces of hair from his face and tucking them behind his ear, until he looked a bit better. Although you were both silent, an awful lot of eye contact was held, and that was a conversation all in its self.

"Thank you, y/n." Bucky looked serious, as if there was something he really wanted to tell you. Laughing, you popped two cold & flu tablets out of a packet and placed them on the nightstand. "Jeez, don't get all soft on me now. You're not dying, Buck, I just want to make sure you're alright!" You grabbed the thermometer and held it up to his mouth. "This won't taste good, but once this is over I will definitely make you some soup. Open wide..."

Bucky smiled, shaking his head. "I have arms, y/n, I can do this mys-" you shut him up by shoving the thermometer into his mouth, laughing when he almost choked on it. As he re-adjusted the thermometer, you placed a hand on his forehead. He relaxed under your touch, closing his eyes; he was definitely burning up, his forehead was far warmer than your hands.

You took the thermometer from his mouth and brought your hand back from his head. Bucky opened his eyes, and you gave him a sigh. "Yep, you've definitely got a fever. You need to rest, I'll come and check on you soon...maybe put on a movie? Anything to distract you, really. Okay?" Bucky nodded, sitting up a bit more. You leant in and gave him a hug, and placed a kiss on his cheek. You pulled away slightly, your foreheads inches away. You leaned into his touch, his hands holding your arms, but stood up when you realised what was happening.

"I...I'll see you soon, Buck." And with that, you were gone.

(2) The clock read 6:14. The smell of marinara sauce and french cheese wandered around the avengers tower, making you grow more and more hungry by the second.

One minute. One minute, and you'd be able to stuff your face with Wanda's signature pasta. One more minute and you'd be in pasta heaven. One more minute.

You began to grow impatient, the ticking of your clock driving you insane. You paced in your room, mouth watering at the thought of the delicious dinner waiting for you. 30 seconds.

Your stomach growled like a tiger hunting it's prey. You opened your door, an even stronger whiff of Wanda's creation hitting you like a sucker punch. You turned back around to look at the clock - 5 more seconds.

It's almost time.

4 more seconds.

You couldn't wait.

3.

A month's worth of pleasure waiting for you on one plate.

2.

Anticipation bubbled inside of you.

1.

This is it.

The clock turned to 6:15, and you heard Wanada call from the floor below.

"DINNERS READY!"

Racing out of your room, you ran at the speed of light. You knew what was waiting for you, and you weren't going to waste any time getting to it.

Jogging down the stairs, you saw everybody around the kitchen, talking and laughing; you got to the 5th step from the bottom before you ankle buckled underneath you. With a yelp, you twisted and fell, trying to grab the banister for support but failing. However, you didn't fall on the floor, but fell into a pair of arms. Looking up, you saw Bucky grinning.

"You're telling me you can kill 8 Hydra agents with one bullet while fighting off three more at the same time, but when it comes to stairs you forget how to walk?" Tilting your head back in laughter, Bucky tightened his grip, holding you bridal style. Almost falling out of his arms, you threw your hands behind his neck, causing you both to laugh even more. You heard Wanda and Nat laughing with you from the kitchen, but you were only focused on Bucky. After you stopped laughing, you smiled widely, looking back at him.

"The sad part is, you know exactly why I was running down the stairs." He smiled back, eyes glistening. "Mhm," he nodded, rolling his eyes, "you are so desperate to see me that you couldn't help but run!"

Giving him a fake slap on the arm, you chuckled.

"I know, I know. You really want the pasta, don't you?" Nodding, Bucky shook his head. You felt relaxed in his arms, comfortable and secure. He could've put you down a few minutes ago, but you didn't mind. You looked into his eyes and he did the same thing, breath hitching in your throat. Only just realising that your face was particularly close to Bucky's, you felt his gentle breath on your cheek. You closed your eyes as he leaned in closer to you, his hair tickling the side of your face.

"What's up with the lovebirds!?" Tony exclaimed (loudly), walking into the kitchen. Both you and Bucky bolted upright, and you fell out of his arms. Hitting the floor with a smack, you landed face-up.

"Son of a BITCH, that hurt!" You yelled, Bucky rushing to help you up. You all laughed, but something inside you felt disappointed, almost unfulfilled.

(3) after dinner that night, you avoided Bucky for roughly a week. You felt embarrassed, awkward, so you kept your distance. You went down to the training room one day and checked the chart: Wednesday - Sam and Bucky's turn to use the sparring mat. You didn't mind being in the same room, as he'd be focused on training, so you were just going to use one of the machines. When you walked in, you found Bucky on the treadmill - Sam wasn't there. Luckily, Bucky hadn't noticed you yet, so you turned around and slowly walk away. Before you were fully out of the door, you heard Bucky call your name.

"Y/n!" Sighing, you turned back around and gave Bucky a tight smile. "I thought today was your turn to train with Sam?" You asked, placing the water bottle and small towel that you were carrying on one of the benches and crossing your arms, becoming conscious that you were only wearing shorts and a sports bra; it was summer, after all.

He smiled and wiped his forehead with his own towel, stepping off the machine. "Yeah, Sam didn't feel so good and had to cancel. Thought I'd come here on my own, but you're here now, right? D'you want to spar?" Your mind raced, you knew there was no getting out of this one.

"Sure thing. I train with Nat anyway and I definitely need a break from her Russian spy tricks." He laughed as you both stepped onto the training mat. "Is now a bad time to remind you that I'm trained in Russian spy tricks?" You smiled, genuinely relaxed. "Maybe not."

Not a second had gone by and you had already started sparring. You kicked him on his side, he punched you in the throat, you pushed him onto the floor, he took you with him with a swift move of his leg. You both jumped up and started all over again, even more vigorous. You went to punch him on the side of his face, but he grabbed your wrist before it met his cheek. "Try again."

With your free arm, you elbowed him above the shoulder and punched him in the nose. In retaliation, you recieved a blow to the stomach, but you were quick to push him up against the wall and lock him there with your arm against his throat. You leaned in close and whispered in his ear.

"I've been wanting to kick your ass all week."

He quickly flipped you over, and you pressed your back against the wall. He pinned your arms up above your head with one hand and held your waist with the other. You tried to kick him away, but his legs were pressed flatly against yours. He leaned in even closer.

"Yeah? Hit me with your best shot."

His words were a mix between whisper and a grunt, which sent a shiver down your spine. However, you knew his weakness. You pressed your forehead against his, and his grip weakened slightly. Just before your lips were about to touch his, you raised your leg and hit him in the crotch with your knee. He stumbled backwards, giving you the perfect opportunity to strike him in the chest. He went toppling to the side, falling heavily onto the floor. Calmly, you walked over and looked down at him.

"Is that the best you can do?"

(4) summer came and went in a flash, and before you knew it, the trees had lost their leaves and everything was a warm shade of red and orange. It was a late autumn evening and you had been reading in bed. It was far to cold for pyjamas, so you wore joggers and one of Bucky's knitted jumpers that you had stolen a few months ago, it smelled exactly like him. Turning your bedside light off, you glanced at your clock, which read 10:53. Laying down, you soon fell into sleepy doze, the sound of rain patterning against your window aiding your sleep.

You must have been asleep for almost an hour before you were woken up. Light streamed into your room from the open door in front of you, and you saw the silhouette of somebody crouched down by the side of your bed.

"Hmm?" You sat up and rubbed your eyes, adjusting to the light. The person sat next to you on your bed and you immediately knew who it was.

Bucky.

He looked a bit guilty for waking you up, but his eyes looked sorrowful and ridden with regret.

"Nightmares again?" You tiredly asked, placing a hand on Bucky's shoulder. He nodded, avoiding your gaze; his hair was pinned back into a bun, and his hands shook slightly. Usually, when Bucky had nightmares, he'd get into your bed and cuddle you, falling asleep with you by his side. However, you wanted to do something to distract him from his memories, and not just cuddle him. He stood up, about to walk to the other side of your bed before you stopped him. Rolling out from underneath the covers, you walked over to your record player and set up a vinyl. It was a record that Buck had gotten you for your birthday, 'The Best Of The 60s'. Quietly, Elvis began singing one of his ballads as you walked over to Bucky.

Placing your arms behind his neck, you gently swayed to the beat of the music. He cautiously wrapped his arms around your waist and bent down slightly, allowing you to rest your face in his neck. You couldn't be any closer; your torsos were pressed firmly against each other, arms tightly gripping to the other person. As you both rocked back forth, Bucky raised one of his arms up and placed a hand behind your head, holding you closer. You had never felt safer in your life, and you began to think about the man holding you.

When you first met, you could honestly say that you were scared of him. You weren't intimidated by him, but you were terrified that he would snap at you or hate you as soon as you met. You could've never guessed that you'd have the sort of connection that you do, but it worked out brilliantly. After growing more mature with each other, you found it easier to empathise with him. Everything that he had been through - torture, near death experiences, kidnapping, forced murder - you felt the same pain as he did.

Tightening your grip around him, you let out a few tears. You were comfortable crying around him, he never made you feel uncomfortable, yet you really didn't want to break down in this situation. But guess what? You broke down anyway.

The few drops on your cheeks became a river of tears as you thought more about Bucky. Your shoulders heaved, and Bucky noticed instantly. He knew why you were crying, he felt the same pain. He stroked your hair, warm fingertips against your scalp. He lifted your jumper up ,slightly, with his other hand and rubbed circles on the small of your back. Your skin tingled under his burning touch.

Bucky's eyes stung with tears; there was a lingering thought between you both that hung in the air, and he hated seeing you in pain. You pulled back from him, moving your arms to his shoulders. The music stopped a while ago, but you still moved to a shared rhythm. You looked down, but Bucky used his real hand to lift your chin up. His hand was large and warm, radiating heat. He cupped your cheek, and with his thumb, brushed away a few of our tears. You tilted your head into his hand, closing your eyes. In that moment, Bucky would've kissed you. He wanted to lean down and brush your lips with his, run a hand through your hair as he kissed you. Yet he saw the sleepiness in your face, and knew it wouldn't be right.

Putting both arms around your waist, he effortlessly lifted you up, and you wrapped your legs around his hips. He walked you back over to your bed and placed you underneath the soft covers, planting a kiss on your forehead. With a small smile and a 'goodnight', you were back on your own.

(5) three months later, it was almost Christmas, and the avengers had gone all out. The group always did something ridiculously extra over the holidays, and this year Tony had rented out an ice skating rink. It was only a few blocks away from the Avengers tower, so you all took one of Tony's limos down there. You wore a red turtleneck jumper, a plaid skirt and black tights, as the group arranged that the dress code was red. Bucky wore a dark red shirt + hoodie with jeans, and everybody else wore an odd combination of christmas jumpers, cardigans, tee shirts, and (in Steve's case) a red Hawaiian shirt.

In the limo was you, Bucky, Tony, Steve, Natasha, Wanda, Sam, Bruce, Vision and Clint. Everybody was invited, but many had gone home to see their family for the holidays. You all made a pretty nice group, though.

The skating rink was huge, enough to fit hundreds of people. As you all sat outside of the rink putting on your ice skates, Tony asked a very important question.

"How many of you guys can actually skate?"

Out of all 10 of you, only three could say that you've skated before.

"I can." You stated, tying up your laces.

"Same here." Replied Wanda.

"Me too." Said Sam. Everyone looked at him, amused yet puzzled.

"What!? My mom made me go with her when I was a kid, alright?" Everyone laughed, and Sam looked slightly pissed.

Once you were ready, you carefully stood up and took Bucky's arm.

"D'you want to skate with me?" You asked, entering the rink. You flawlessly made your way around the edge, Bucky slipped quite a few times. "How did you get so good at this?" He questioned, clinging onto the barrier for dear life.

"I used to go all the time with my friends, there was a cute little skating rink next to our school." You span around on the ice, landing perfectly on your feet. Bucky tried to leave the wall but fell directly onto his bottom, making you laugh harder than you ever have.

The night went on peacefully as you skated with your friends. Nat and Wanda stayed together the entire time, hand in hand, and every time you looked over at Steve he was on the floor. You and Bucky spent your time skating around the rink together, talking about anything and everything, laughing whenever you saw Steve fall over. You all decided to leave at 9pm, and 9pm seemed to be coming closer by the second. You and Bucky were the last ones left on the rink, everybody else had gone to the limo. Steve sat on the bench outside of the barrier, putting his shoes back on.

"Should we wait for you guys?" He asked, putting his skates back on the shelf.

You glanced at Bucky who had just fallen over and giggled. "Nah, we'll get a taxi."

Steve left, and Bucky got back up. "Come over here." You beckoned him to the centre of the rink where you were stood. He laughed, shaking his head. "And sign my death certificate? No thank you."

"C'mon Buck, you haven't left the barrier all night!" You skated over to him and took his hand. "I'll help you?" He sight and gave you his other hand, and you both slowly skated over to the centre of the rink. "See how easy this is?" You asked as you let go of his hands and span around on the spot. Moments after you let go of his hands, he fell backwards. You didn't realise until too late, and fell over his leg, resulting in you on top of him. You couldn't of landed worse; your legs were straddling his hips, your chests pressed up against each other, your hands on the ice either side of Bucky's head.

Laughing nervously, you gave him an awkward smile and apologised. He sat up, you now sat, facing him, oh his lap. You both thought the exact same thing - now was the perfect time to kiss. Both of you slowly leaned in, and your lips barely brushed before the lights went out. You laughed hysterically, plunged into darkness.

"Shit," Bucky exclaimed, holding onto your hand, "how are we going to get out?"

(6) not a week had gone by before the new year came around, and Pepper had planned a new years eve party. Despite it only being the same eleven of you that spent Christmas together, Pepper told you all she wanted everybody to wear suits and party dresses, so you could have a fancy new years party. It was 8:25pm when you went to the common area. Everything was different; furniture had been moved, there was a soft orange glow from the ambience lights that lit up the room, and the large windows showed the rest of the city below ((the common area looks how it did in the party scene in age of ultron)). You were the last to arrive, and you heard music playing from the common area as you walked down the stairs.

Tony had hired chefs and bartenders, and set up a photo booth in the corner of the room. Fairy lights were strung around the large room, and you heard the sound of Steve, Bucky and Sam laughing together. You wore a floor length, red glittery dress that had a cut on the side, running from the floor to the side of your thigh. Your hair was curled and gently flowed down your shoulders, almost meeting the sweetheart neckline on your dress. Your outfit was complete with a pair of red heels, and you could admit that you looked stunning.

Once you got to the bottom of the stairs, you immediately walked over to Natasha and Wanda who were at the bar. Nat wore a knee length black bodycon dress with spaghetti straps and stilettos, whereas wanda wore a dark purple tiered dress with black wedges. As soon as they saw you, both of their jaws dropped. You blushed, your cheeks matching the red lipstick you wore. "I'm overdressed, aren't I?" You asked, feeling slightly self conscious.

"No way! You look amazing!" Wanda reassured, looking you up and down.

"Wanda's not the only one thinking it." Natasha said as she pointed a finger past your shoulder. You looked behind you and saw Sam, Steve and Bucky staring at you. Steve and Sam merely gaped at your appearance, whereas Bucky grinned at you. Turning back around, you laughed with Nat and Wanda and grabbed a bottle of water from the bartender. Once you got your drink, you walked over to Bucky who was now sat alone on one of the sofas.

"Good evening, James." You spoke in a fake posh accent which made both of you laugh, and you sat down next to him. He wore an all black suit, his hair styled nicely, falling past his jaw. You began talking, but the chit chat didn't last long before Tony arrived from the kitchen.

"Tables set guys, let's eat!"

You sat next to Natasha at the rectangular dinner table, Bucky sitting across from you. Everyone ate steak and salad, and you each went around the table saying what your new years resolution would be. When it got to your turn, you were stumped.

"I don't know...I can't really think of anything." You stated, taking a sip of your glass of white wine.

"Even though we've known you for a year and a half, there's still so much that you haven't told us about yourself." Clint opined. There was a mutual agreement between the rest of the group, but Bucky stayed silent.

"Maybe your new years resolution could be to learn a language?" Sam added, taking a bite of his dinner. Bucky snickered as you turned to face Sam.

"Non penso sia davvero necessario." (I don't think that's really necessary) Everybody looked taken aback at your bilingual secrecy, except Bucky. Instead, he just smiled at you.

After dinner, everybody went back to the common area and danced. After Tony and Steve got defensive about who could dance better, they decided to host a mini dance competition. Bucky looked around, but you were nowhere to be seen. Before anybody could notice he was leaving, he snuck out of the room and down the corridor. It took him a few minutes before he saw you out on the balcony, staring up into the night sky.

"What's up?" He asked as he stepped out into the cold breeze, placing an arm around your shoulder. You tilted your head to rest on his arm, and sighed, your breath forming a little cloud of steam. "I'm just thinking about that delicious chocolate ice cream." Bucky laughed, thinking back to the ice cream everybody had for dessert. "I don't blame you, it was very nice." He spoke, voice calm and sweet.

"Hmm" you sight contently. Bucky felt the goosebumps on your arms and pulled away.

"Here." He said, taking off his blazer and handing it to you.

"Thank you, Buck." You replied, wrapping it around your cold arms.

"Wait..." He paused, looking at your face. "Mhm, you've got a bit of chocolate ice cream in the corner of your mouth!" He laughed as you wiped around the side of you lip.

"Gone?" You asked, examining your clean finger. "Nope, try again." You breathed out, swatting at your mouth again, but your finger always came back clean. "Can you get it off for me?" You asked him, and he smirked.

"Sure thing, y/n."

He leaned in close to you and crashed his lips onto yours. His lips were dry and he kissed roughly, making your soft lips turn to jelly under his. Your hands found his neck, and his your waist as you ran a few fingers through his hair. He pulled you closer, deepening your kiss, as you sighed into his mouth. You weren't quick to pull away, making sure you savour the feeling of his lips against yours. You smiled at him as he looked at you, pure admiration in his eyes.

"You don't know how fucking long I've been waiting to do that."

[thejoshuaglenn-blog]

You're a Good Boy, Charlie Brown

The key purpose of a Tumblr blog here is really a brain dump: logging thoughts, feelings, narrative and such is easier in long form than via a brief Facebook post that generates half a dozen "oh no, what happened" comments. As I'm writing this, most of it seems like bullet points and organized timelines. If you're looking for a TL;DR or current state of thoughts, it's the last section titled The Day After, and the Day After That.

A few days ago, Niko and I said goodbye to our first dog, Charlie Brown.

I'm not keen to chat about it a lot. There's more to process than I have time to type; most of it centers around being fair to myself and to Niko, taking the time to appreciate his life without beating ourselves up, and avoiding the overwhelming mire that grief can become.

Joining the Family

CB was a rescue, a hapless victim of the 2016 Louisiana floods and a happy-go-lucky participant in a "dog for a day" event hosted by a local shelter. I fully expected to rent him out for a day, give him a few great experiences, and return him. For myriad reasons, we never did bring him back to Pet Rescue by Judy, and he's been with us ever since.

At adoption, he was estimated to be around 4-8 years old. With a kicked-in shoulder that offset his collarbone and ribcage, some assorted dental issues, and other little signs of damage (cigarette burns, what the heck is wrong with people), it was tough to really gauge his age. That means he left this world at the ripe old age of something like 9-13, which isn't terrible considering all he'd been through.

Charlie Brown was the iconic good boy. He seldom barked, he never licked or jumped, and just wanted to be in the same room as his favorite people. He had a few toys that he cherished, never ripping them up, just carrying them with him from room to room and whining a bit, unsure of where he could store them for safekeeping. Apart from some separation anxiety issues and an occasional urge to bolt out the door and book it as far as he could, CB was by all accounts an easy first dog: more like a low-effort cat than anything else.

Slowly Falling Apart

Over time, the health issues increased. Intermittent but predictably regular upset tummy. Bad gums, bad teeth. Random gooey skin lesion. Eye ulcers. Since October, we've been averaging 2-3 unplanned vet visits a month — many incurring some hefty bills. We'd take out another credit card, find another financing plan, but it adds up. So does the emotional toil on the family; so does the anxiety toll on the dog.

You start to think about quality of life for the dog, you know? He'd had a few teeth removed to sew up his gums after they kinda detached and fell apart from his jawbone — so he couldn't chew anything hard. Couldn't even chew a tennis ball, which was the only toy he took interest in anymore. Couldn't have any fun treats like peanut butter or other soft chews, as his tummy would have bad flare-ups that usually ended up with him attached to an IV bag. After finally settling in and learning to play well with Atlas, Charlie Brown started to get pretty irritable whenever Atlas got frisky.

He still loved running around outdoors, and was in otherwise great health.

I can't tell you how guilty that makes me feel, even now.

Moving to Waltham

Before we left Orlando, there were so many crisis moments in emergency vet offices where Niko and I talked about how long he could ride this roller coaster. CB obviously was not a fan of vet visits: loved the staff, but was notably anxious and panicky when separated from us, and he had grown very loathe to the process of poking, prodding, and whatnot.

Shortly after moving to Waltham (he was a champ in the U-Haul), Charlie Brown had a severe colitis flare-up. He was losing so much fluid and was growing very lethargic over the day. Vets are hard to get into these days: with the sweep of "pandemic puppy" adoptions, the vet industry as a whole is saturated with demand, and practices are responding as best they can. There were just no emergency clinics available to us within 20 miles, except one that noted "we have no availability, but you can come and wait, and we might be able to see you in 4 or 5 hours." So we did.

It was a very late night. Charlie Brown came home with us with another round of the same antibiotics he'd been taking almost regularly since December for his assorted ailments, and some probiotics. The next day, CB seemed a bit better and brighter, and Niko and I went into the city for part of the day. We came home to find he'd had an accident, but it was just... blood. So so much. And he looked so in pain, so ashamed, so guilty, so anxious.

So we went back to the vet ER. It was another very late night. I didn't know how many of these late nights we could afford; neither of us knew how many of these late nights it was fair to expect Charlie Brown to endure.

Do you plan on letting a pet go after an extended crisis visit? Do you plan on letting a pet go in a time of relative peace?

Camping Analogy, and a Best Last Day

When you're off on a long hike, and you see daylight start to fade as the sun begins to set, you begin to think about finding a good place to set up camp for the night. It's abysmal to do this after the sun has already gone down: where you could have had preparation and structure, you have chaos by flashlight.

A dog's life is in your hands. You're his whole world: all food, adventure, pampering, challenge, treatment, and care come from you. More than anything, we wanted Charlie Brown to have a peaceful, restful life. Now that we started thinking about it, we wanted to be able to give him a peaceful, restful passing as well: not as the climax of another overnight crisis with injections and yelps and beeps and cowering and anxiety and fear, but in the still quiet of familiar sounds and smells.

His very last day was a great one. Fresh Pond in Cambridge: a massive stroll around a colossal lake with an absurd bounty of new smells, kind people, happy dogs, and a brisk New England breeze. He got to swim in a little side pond — that boy lived for jumping into random lakes. He ran around the broad field that is Kingsley Bowl, chasing a thrown ball the very very farthest his sad pop could throw it — and he brought it back. We bought him a steak. We told him how much he brought to our lives.

And then we waited.

Lap of Love is a sort of home delivery service of dignified passing for pets. There's more to say on that hour than I care to pen, but throughout the procedure, we never left him. Charlie Brown passed enveloped in our arms and laps and sobs and hugs.

The Day After, and the Day After That

The rest is just thoughts. Your head starts to feel like a coffee shop where your grief comes in, sits at a table with you, and unloads. You nod, listen, and wish them well. I hope I can keep processing this way — I find it helpful, and less overwhelming.

I wish he had been able to play with his tennis ball more. Since his jaw surgery — even out on Kingsley Bowl, nearly a month and a half after he should have been fully healed — any kind of chewing would cause renewed bleeding and pain.

I wish we had hugged him more. But truth be told, he didn't like hugs. They made him uncomfortable. So we gave him a hand to lay his head on, or a knee for him to pop his head upon, as often as he liked.

There were so many times I felt inconvenienced by owning a dog at all. They weren't the majority, but... now each remembered time feels like a splinter of selfishness.

I miss how familiar the back of his neck felt under my hand, just behind the ears, where the waves of fur meet and crash and make a long cowlick of foof and fluff.

His happy smile and his stressed smile were very similar, but you could still tell which was which.

I loved being there for him in thunderstorms.

When you think about it, we sort of were hospice care for him. We weren't his original owners; we just wanted the rest of his life to be painless and fulfilling. He had so many trust issues when he first came to us. And in the end, he loved anyone he met.

I miss feeling around with my feet to make sure I don't step on him on my way to bed. I miss setting my feet on the floor as I wake, stooping down, and giving his head a good squishy rub.

He never did get to see Boston snow. I mean... thousands of dogs never get to see snow. But I was really looking forward to sharing that experience with him.

I wanted so badly to bring him to a point of health, and then say goodbye when he was feeling well. Seeing him have his Best Last Day, part of me whispered "murderer" with cold accuracy, and I have a hard time shaking it. He was so happy — but between jaw bleeding after playing with a tennis ball, seeing him scratch his eyes that were starting to ache with ulcers again... I know the unbridled happiness came with the reality of his declining health.

Atlas was the best thing that ever happened to that boy. I know Charlie Brown was at least a little disgruntled that his easy-going day-to-day had been interrupted by a chompy puppy, but Atlas brought out the young pup in CB: ripping palm fronds to shreds, playing tug, playing tag, meeting new dogs with confidence and assurance.

I used to get so mad at my mother-in-law for feeding Charlie Brown cinnamon donuts. I wish I'd given him more. Heck, I wish I'd given him more peanut butter. I'm frankly surprised he hadn't died of peanut butter overdose years ago.

Where Charlie's health had limits, we kept going with Atlas. That might mean taking Atlas out to play with a ball or a tug toy, because CB couldn't. It breaks my heart now to think of Charlie at the glass door just watching it happen, all because he physically couldn't play the same. I know he didn't understand that.

We took him out to Park Ave maybe once or twice. I wish it had been more. Truth be told, it was the same as the dog park, though: he was kind of a loner. Loads of people or dogs made him anxious. So while I might idealize the past and wish he had sat at our legs for lunch after lunch at an outdoor thoroughfare, ... I think he would have been miserable. I think he would have rather just curled up at the base of the couch and dozed while we watched a show.

He was so trusting. I could just drag him onto his back and onto my lap for cuddles and a good tummy rub. No complaints.

He looked so gaunt these past few months. I keep looking at earlier photos, and I really didn't realize just how grizzly and drawn he had become lately.

I miss seeing him randomly waiting for me outside the bathroom door — or curled up on the bath mat while I was in the shower, having sneakily nosed the door open and wanting my company while I was rinsing.

For his first few years with us, he was incredibly playful. I've been going through old videos — it's like going outside just blew his mind, and toys were either for cherishing daintily, or thrashing about and throwing to oneself and gnawing. He lost that after a time. He regained it a bit when Atlas joined the party. But it still faded. I'm sure that's inevitable, but it makes me sad to see the early vibrant puppy in those old recordings, and how different he had been in recent months.

[curiousconch]

The Moments in Between (Part 2)

Book/Pairing: Open Heart 2 / Rafael Aveiro x F!MC x Bryce Lahela

A/N: This is my shot at a love triangle, because I always found the book lacking in acknowledging the dynamics between the LIs as well as the impact to the chosen LI where others are interested in the MC. If you're reading this hoping for a full-on Bryce, my apologies, but you'll probably be disappointed. It’s supposed to be sprinkled with smut, but I ended up writing fluuuuuffff.  If you haven't read Part 1, click here.

Music Inspo: Jealous by Nick Jonas

Raphael looked on while Casey giggled against Bryce's lips.

He knew Casey was just experimenting on her curiosity. She and Bryce had a sibling-like bond. But as he couldn't stop himself from averting his gaze, he thought of how Bryce hadn't been exactly discreet about his flirtations towards the same woman Raf has just declared his love a few weeks back.

This bucket list tour around Boston was simply meant to be one last ride of the gang together. But things took a really wild turn when Aurora decided to streak across the park, and now Casey's making out with someone else as he stood close by.

He never wished for something to be so unreal as this moment in his life.

His fists clenched, very much unnerved by the feel of this heaviness in his chest. He questioned himself, wanting so much to contradict the constricting pain he felt. It was as if he wasn't the one who gave Casey the go ahead anyway.

He was never one to feel possessive. Yet the knowledge of her being wrapped around someone's arms made him shiver.

His mind wondered - was this the way Casey felt every time she saw him with Sora a few months ago? Did she feel the the same stabbing pain when he held another's hand? Did her eyes almost shined with tears when she saw how his ex kissed him?

Raf tried his best to shake off the upsetting knots beginning to form in his stomach. But he just can't.

Well, Superman has finally found his Kryptonite, he thought.

The sound of Casey's approaching nervous laughter pulled him out of his reverie. She stepped towards him, and he struggled to paste a smirk on his face. It was futile, knowing very well how she can see right through his facade.

Looking down at his shoes, he shoved his hands inside the pockets of his jacket, suddenly conscious of all of their friends staring at him.

"Well, I won't be doing that again," she mumbled as she leaned close, so that he's the only one who can hear.

"Hmm..." Raf exhaled, careful not to let slip any hint of bitterness.

Her left brow raised at him questioningly, her arm looping around his, nevertheless.

Was I too obvious? His inner voice questioned.

Instead of saying that aloud, he shook his head lightly in response, intent to dismiss her doubts. It was more of an effort to dissipate his own insecurities before it imploded. He kissed her lightly on the forehead, while his thoughts waged a silent war with his emotions.  

"Well, that's a wrap!" Kyra finally broke the uncomfortable silence, everyone else agreeing to call it a night. Relief then coursed through him.

After saying their respective good nights, their group began to disperse in separate directions.

He let his arms fall across Casey's shoulders, guiding her to the direction of his apartment. He wanted nothing more than to settle the conflicted feelings he had with an inconspicuous night cap - they originally planned to spend the night together, after all.

Peace was beginning to calm his heart, but it was cut short by a heavy hand on his shoulder. He immediately knew who it was.

He turned as Bryce looked at him intensely, his brows furrowed.

Raf looked at Casey, and as if reading his thoughts, untangled herself from him and walked a few steps ahead before stopping at a distance, certain she was out of earshot.

Once the two guys were alone, Raf crossed his arms and waited for Bryce to speak his piece.

"Look, I mean no disrespect. You know me, bro. I didn't think much of it, and that did not mean anything." Bryce spoke with an edge in his voice, rubbing the back of his head.

He hesitated, but invoking no reaction from Raf, he continued.

"Honestly, I was really interested in Casey before she shot me down every time I asked her out.  It boggled me, man. I finally found out why when I saw how she looked at you, when we all had dinner together. I backed down and moved on ever since. I see her as nothing but a good friend, now."

Raf listened intently to Bryce's revelation. He thought back to the time before things actually started between him and Casey. Once upon a time, he stumbled upon them exchanging flirty remarks. He dismissed them as just part of his nature, a behavior he thought that Bryce commonly expressed to other girls around him.

Later on, he noticed that she was very close to him, but he attributed it as affection similar to that of siblings. He never entertained the possibility of how dangerously close she was snatched by someone else. It turns out he had more to process.

He finally mustered the strength to nod to Bryce, offering his hand. His friend took it, his posture finally relaxed. However, against Raf's better nature, he didn't say anything further.

Sensing his unease, Bryce took this as his queue to let go. With a friendly salute, he walked away, knowing that he's done his part.

Raf rubbed his temple, closing his eyes for a few moments as he wrestled with himself. He can't help being upset, uncertain as to how he should respond to these very foreign emotions rising within him. He struggled to accept the only possible reason of his unrest.

It was when Casey walked back to him, inquisitive of what just went down between the two guys. As she neared him, she immediately saw the creased lines of his forehead, the same expression he had earlier that evening.

She knew that facade, it was Rafael's contemplative frown.

His whole body jolted as arms wrapped around his waist from behind, breaking him out of his lost thoughts, the familiar scent immediately invading his senses.

"I thought brooding was Batman's thing?" muttered Casey with a playful voice, her head leaning on his back, her hands laced together. "Care to share the meaning of that frown on your face?"

This girl really knew him inside out.

Defeated, certain that Casey was giving him the chance to come clean, he pulled free from her embrace and spun her to face him. His thumb rubbing on her cheekbone, caressing her with so much gentleness, afraid he's going to break her.

He looked down at her, pausing for a few moments, then kissed her. His eyes shut close as he meditated the feel of her mouth crashing on his, her soft lips gifting him the same intoxication he always tasted every time he did this.

And as he broke the kiss, he leaned his forehead against hers, his eyes remained closed, lost in thought.

"Earth to Rafael..." her voice snapped him out of his own trance, an amused look stamped on her face as she gazed up at him, a single brow raised.

"I'm sorry, Casey." He sighed, pondering if he should express his innermost thoughts.

Is this love too fragile? Am I going to cross a line, steering them to a point of no return? Is it the right direction, wanting to let her know that he wanted so much to claim her for himself? They haven't been able to talk about that part yet, knowing that Casey's career is at a crossroads. It wasn't just the right time.

He can't ruin this, not again, he decided.

"I'm still trying to process this myself, I've been contemplating a lot of things in the past few days, and tonight seemed to push me to a tipping point," he resigned.

She cupped his face in her hands, knowing that the man she loved is currently buried in his conflicted feelings.

"It's okay, Raf," she assured him, hoping to quell the building guilt in her chest. "I'm sorry too, I didn't really think that through."

Aware of the mess that she's just made of things, she perceived how careless it was of her to choose to act on the mundane notion of kissing a brother. Well, a brother figure, at least. She thought of it as some kind of experiment, being caught up with the daring mood everyone else was in.

So selfish and so stupid, Casey, she thought, mentally punching herself.

She realized how Edenbrook closing impacted the status of their recently-renewed romance, only just fully-grasping how their relationship might now be hanging by a thread, with the possibility of her moving away from Boston.

She wondered if that's what Raf was thinking about earlier, when they were both standing in front of the hospital where they first met.

Sensing how Casey was now tormenting herself with what happened, he felt compelled to tell her his truth.

It's time I man up, bear my own weight in this relationship, he determined.

Not wanting to let go of his resolve, he took Casey's hands in his and began his admission.  

"I never thought I would be this kind of guy," he whispered, breaking free from her own thoughts. "...but when I saw you and Bryce..." He paused, contemplating the best way to continue.

He sighed as he leaned against her, his head nestling against her shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her tightly, taking in the sweet scent of her hair.

"I know I said I love you, but I just can't help myself. I feel numb just thinking about how other people will hover around you, when I'm no longer near you." He brushed through his hair, conscious of the heaviness of his confession.

"You can call me obsessed, I know I might not have the right to be... " He faltered for a bit, but with a powerful shove of willpower, he continued, "So yes, I guess, I just got jealous."

"But I've spent a long time holding back, Casey." His current sentiments echoing the very same words he told her at the gala. "It's time I own up to it, because I know you deserve nothing less than 100% of me. So this is me, facing you, facing all of my feelings for you, even the bad."

He wondered if he should stop, but decided to conclude his speech with one last statement to make it clear.

"I guess it's just that I'm so crazy about you, how much loving you changed me. I'll never be the same person without you."

There, I said it, his mind exasperated, yet instantly relieved.

Casey was stunned, her eyes widened with surprise. It wasn't with Rafael's admission of jealousy though, it was in the acknowledgment of how worried he was about her leaving Boston. It is the vulnerability that this man in front of her willfully showed her, despite the uncertainty of their future.

It was his version of telling her: I don't want you out of my life.

In a moment of clarity, she was able to comprehend that Rafael's jealousy was not coming from a place of mistrust. It was his reassurance that he intended to stay beside her, no matter what was required of them. It didn't matter which path she chooses in her career. Whether she stays or she goes, he chooses to be with her.

It may mean braving a long-distance relationship, maybe something more. What's important was he's telling her loud and clear: he's in it for the long run.

And at that moment, she was certain she wanted exactly the same.

"Aha! So the Clark Kent gets jelly too..." she exclaimed, unable to restrain her chuckle.

He smiled despite himself. Give it to Casey to always lighten up the mood.

She gave him a light pat on his back, comforting Raf.

"Thank you for being honest. But it takes a lot more than jealousy to beat down the most stubborn person you've ever met!" she declared, sticking her tongue out as she released him from her embrace, gazing him.

Rafael can't help but laugh, grateful for how easily she  figured out how to disspell the conflict between them.

She then pointed at the lamp post above them, apparently inviting him to a callback of perhaps one of the earliest fond memories they shared.

"My samba moves are a little rusty. Mind if you help me shake it off?" Casey's broad grin was infectiously bright, even in the dim light that surrounded them.

He took her hand, kissing her fingertips and twirled her once. He pulled her to him, letting his hands fall on her hips,  as she leaned back against his chest.

"Don't mind if I do, my Lois."

And as their bodies swayed, all the worries sashayed away. For in that moment, they remembered that night they once danced in the streets, and the odds that they were able to overcome since then.

It's more than enough of an assurance that they will always find a way.

Their love will.

[doctorwhoformybestie]

Anon asked,

hello, could you write something with eleven where he takes the reader to an amusement park or something of the like on another planet and they spend the day there? maybe aliens show up, I don’t know, up to you! thanks love :)

So here's my best shot! I hope you enjoy it!

11th Doctor x reader

Visiting Childhood Places

The Doctor takes y/n to his favorite place in the whole wide galaxy.

Word Count 2,018

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"Doctor, where are we going today?" You asked as you leaned your back against the railing. 

"Oh I thought, we could go somewhere fun today!" He looked over to you smiling from the control panel. 

Usually when the Doctor says, "fun" he means, "go to another planet and get accidently caught by aliens and sent to jail". So when you gave him a skeptical look he was not surprised to see it coming from you. Many times you were told places would be fun. Meeting Christopher Columbus was supposed to be fun and it was, until the doctor found out that Chris was just a clone who was part of some ancient alien race trying to take over the new colonie. Then that led to more danger and big spaceships. But in the end everyone was okay and ended up alive, and all of history was put back into place. 

The Doctor just smiled at you, "trust me this one won't be as bad as the times before." 

"I'll be the judge of that" you replied with a sly grin and a wink. 

He laughed it off and started pulling levers and twisting knobs. The Tardis started making its iconic wooshing sound. You held onto the railing and was laughing as the Doctor jumped from here to there to get the spaceship to travel to wherever you were going. 

As the Tardis settled down, the Doctor was ecstatic. He ran over to you with a happy smile, grabbed your hands and twirled you around. 

You were astounded by his giddiness over one place. The last time he was this happy was when he learned to rollerskate. You had the biggest smile on your face as he twirled you around in a few more circles. 

"Are you ready?" He asked as he stopped spinning you and took one of your hands. 

You nodded your head and his eyes lit up. You followed the Doctor to the door of the Tardis. 

"Now, when I say fun, this is what I mean. I haven't been here in hundreds of years!" 

He swung open the door and stepped out with you right behind him. 

"Welcome to the biggest amusement park on the planet Aerelia. Where all aliens can come together and have some fun!" 

You looked at the place amazed. The whole place was like a human amusement park but 10 times bigger. There were rollercoasters, some with tracks some without. Food vendors everywhere, selling treats from all sorts of different planets around the galaxies. Aliens of all sorts were walking up and down the long walkways. Some of the aliens you could recognize were the ood, slitheen, adipose, and vinvocci, but there were a lot more that you did not know. Balloons and what looked to be cotton candy were being sold by some aliens walking around the park as well.

"Doctor this place! It's just incredible!" You exclaimed.

His eyes darted from one thing to the next like a child in a candy store. He started walking and you went along with him as both of your hands were glued to each other. 

It was like walking in a wonderland filled with all sorts of delights and games, rides that you've never seen before that look quite scary. 

"I was never fond of those ones" the Doctor would say as he pointed up to the huge roller coasters that floated above and around you. Some flipping people upside down while others just flashed before you like a speed of light.

"Are you telling me you're actually scared of something Doctor?" 

"Well, not really. Just found other things around here to fill my time with." He smiled at you with eyes that were filled with kindness.

"Okay then Doctor. Show me what a normal day would be like here if you were a kid?" 

His smile got much wider and he seemed to accept the challenge.

"One must first partake in the eating of a fried zigtobno." 

"A what?" 

"A fried zigtobno. It's quite delicious really! Somewhat of a funnel cake as they would call it on Earth." 

You gave him a confused look as he led you down the aisle of food vendors, surrounding you on both sides. Many of the places had small lines, but the one the Doctor was leading you to had no line at all. 

It was a small yellow shack that had a sign above it that said 

~FRESH FRIED ZIGTOBNO~

The alien inside was a small creature with 4 tentacles running down its face. It looked like a small ood but with a shrimp like head with a human body. It had what seemed to be a thick layer of flour all over his apron, and when he moved the flour seemed to move with him like a ghost. 

"Ahh Herbert my good pal! How's it been?" The Doctor flew his hand onto the counter and Herbet flew his hand on top of the Doctors. They did a very interesting hand shake that consisted of fistbumps, finger snaps, a pinky promise and at the end the Doctor made a bird call while the Shrimp man (or whatever he was) just put his hand up to his eyes and covered them.

After the complex ritual, Herbet and the Doctor started laughing. 

"Good to see ya old pal! What can I get for you and your lovely misses today?"

You slightly blushed at the choice of words this Shrimp man had said. 

"Just one fresh fried zigtobno please!" 

Herbert smiled and whipped around to fix up a zigtobno. Although you couldn't see what exactly he was making it sure did smell good. 

"How long have you known Herbert?" You asked out of curiosity.

"Oh just around 400 years or so. Great pal. He saved me from a trash can falling on me once. That's the day I fell in love with his food stand. Never wanted any other food than fresh fried zigtobno." He stood there with his eyes closed smelling the sweet smell that was coming from the little shed. 

"One order for you Doctor." 

The Doctor was reaching inside his pocket but before he could pull out anything Herbert just said, "Don't worry about it. This one's on me." 

The Doctor smiled and patted Herbert on the arm. "Thanks friend. I owe you one!" He smiled and grabbed the zigtobno and walked over to a bench, sitting where you could look off at all the rides in the area. 

The zigtobno was not what you were expecting. It had a cinnamon roll type texture but it was in one big heaping like an elephant ear. The powder that was on top of it consisted of pastel colors that luminated in the sunshine. 

"Here you have the first bite." The Doctor said as he held the paper plate the food was on. 

You tore off a piece and it was slightly gooey on the inside. Not sure if it was completely baked or it was supposed to be like that you took a bite anyways. 

Your eyes light up like a million stars, as you tasted the pastry. The dough tasted as though a fresh warm baguette, with the powder as cool strawberries all mixed with a slight chocolate flavor hinting on the tip of your tounge. 

"This is the best food I've ever had. Like better than Aunt Cindy's raspberry tart she makes for Christmas." 

The Doctor laughed as you quickly reached for another piece and ate it quickly. He joined in as well and ate the simple pastry made by the Shrimp man Herbert.

Once you were both done eating, the Doctor continued to show you around a few more of his favorite places. Some of which were the center drama, where mini plays were put on throughout the day. The one you ended up watching was like a Romeo and Juliet spin-off. Instead of them both dying they just left Earth with some aliens and started a whole new colony. The Doctor thought it was fantastic while you on the other hand thought it could have been a little less cliche. But come on, it's Romeo and Juliet we're talking about. 

He also showed you some of his favorite rides like the flying dragons, which you could control going up and down. And let's be honest the Doctor did most of the controls himself.  Another ride was more like a simulation of whether you could get out in 10 minutes or not. And again he did most of the work for that one as well.

But as the day went on the night started to fall and it was getting quite late. You were getting slightly tired from all the fun you've been having, but the Doctor had one more thing purposefully planned put. (Apparently it's been planned for quite some time. But you know time travel and how that all works, and let's be honest he probably wandered off to run to the Tardis and do this because he just thought of it like 2 seconds ago)

The sky was almost fully dark and the stars were shining brightly. The Doctor led you to one last ride, a ferris wheel. 

He checked his watch and started mumbling under his breath. "Right. Now just wait a few more ticks and then we should be good to go." 

You kept giving him sideways glances as you walked up to the large ferris wheel. 

"Did you know that this was built only 200 years ago, and it still runs to this day!" You could tell he was getting nervous. Spilling out random facts about random things was what he did when he got nervous. Yet you had no idea why he was so scared over one ride on the ferris wheel. Didn't he want to go on it? Was he that afraid of heights?

With a slight "hmm" the Doctor seemed to settle down a bit and slowly started to relax more. 

When you reached the line the doctor handed the ticket taker 2 very old fashioned tickets. The ticket taker smiled and then winked at me as we entered the cart. 

When the Doctor walked in he turned around to see what my reaction would be. 

The cart was filled with fuzzy blankets, a tub of popcorn, and a giant zigtobno placed on the seats across from us. The Doctor smiled as he saw my eyes light up with joy. 

"Did you do all of this?" 

"Oh possibly. Maybe it was the past me, or the future me, hard to tell sometimes." He smiled and sat down on the right side of the cart. You joined him and then the wheel started turning up. 

When the wheel was at the very tippy top it stopped. You could see the whole sky from up there. Galaxies and stars could be seen from up here. 

Soon shooting stars started to light the sky. 

"Doctor this is amazing!" 

He smiled as the stars were passing the both you from up above. 

"Tonight marks the 500th year anniversary of the legend of Mika and Woo. The ones the play were about."

Ahh yes the cringy Romeo and Juliet play that you watched earlier that day. 

The Doctor slowly placed his arm around your shoulder as he continued talking. 

"Legend has it that once that Mika and Woo landed on an abandoned planet they started their own colony. Representing peace for all alien races. That's what this place represents, peace for all to come together as one."

"That's just beautiful Doctor" 

"I know isn't it?" He turned his head every so slightly to get a glimpse of your amazed face. 

You slowly put your head down on his shoulder, the Doctor tensed up a bit not knowing what to do. But as minutes went on he started to relax. 

About 10 mins later you were out asleep, from such a long day you had the Doctor did not blame you. 

He gently placed a soft kiss on top of your head and then continued to fall asleep himself. 

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A/N thanks so much for reading I hope you enjoyed it! If you have any requests please feel free to pop a question!

[needtobreathe-throughsmoke]

By James Shotwell

Love is a rebellious act. Anyone can light a fire or throw a punch, but not everyone is comfortable being vulnerable. Love requires vulnerability. More than anything else, love demands that we position ourselves to be hurt over and over again. Some would claim that such decisions are a sign of insanity, but anyone who has ever known true love will tell you that it's always worth the risk. The warmth of a loving embrace is perhaps the most comforting force on this planet. To be seen and accepted for who you are rather than what you hope others believe you to be is the most empowering experience in life.

NEEDTOBREATHE understand risk. For the better part of two decades now, the South Carolina rock band has consistently challenged themselves and their fans to be more transparent. Their songs rip open every scar and suture we use to hide our weakest moments and worst traits in hopes of bringing understanding and empathy into the world. For them, building community is everything, and the only way to forge a foundation of lasting bonds is through unwavering truth. They ask listeners to find comfort in being themselves and demand they make spaces for others to do the same. As Kurt Cobain would say, “Come as you are.”

“Into the Mystery,” the lead single off NEEDTOBREATHE's eighth studio album of the same name, finds the road-weary group recommitting themselves to their purpose. It's a love song written for anyone who needs to feel less alone. Some will undoubtedly interpret the lyrics as a cry to Christ or God or some higher power, but I don't feel such connections are necessary. A savior is anyone or anything that reaches through the fog of fear and discomfort to make you feel like you belong. It's not about some physical form that rushes into bad times and saves you as it is a feeling you get when you know you can breathe easy, even if only for a moment. As the lyrics describe:

Love is not a cage, love is not a path

Love's a steady hand waiting for the storm to pass

You loved me then when you needed me

But will you still when it's not so easy

Growing up, I always idolized my grandfather. He was a Presbyterian preacher who spent most of his life doing good deeds for the communities that welcomed him. There was no potluck, fundraiser, wedding, funeral, or graduation party he would not attend. If someone lost their spouse, he made sure they were fed and cared for as long as it took for them to process their grief. If someone needed a man of faith to oversee their wedding, he was their man. He would put the world before himself and never think twice. For him, acts of service were his purpose. He knew that making people feel like they were a part of something bigger than themselves was of the utmost importance.

I remember countless days where I watched as my grandfather welcomed a revolving door of people into his home and office for the sole purpose of offering them comfort. I never really knew what they were going through, and I got the sense that he didn't either, but it didn't matter. People were suffering. They had money problems, romantic entanglements, demanding children, and unruly relatives. Some had received news from their doctors that things were never going to get better. Others didn't even know what was wrong, but they could not shake the feeling that nothing would ever be good ever again. Maybe my grandfather couldn't always give them what they wanted, but he gave them what they needed. Sometimes, just being there is enough.

You don't need God to believe in the power of community. A shared belief in an omnipresent being certainly helps create spaces where people can gather and share, but it's not a requirement. All that you need is a willingness to be vulnerable with strangers. To find within yourself the strength to accept others as they are and to admit the things you are not. If you can shake loose from the shackles of whatever lies you tell yourself to avoid getting to the heart of what makes you tick, then you can find yourself surrounded by others who feel just as lost as you, and through that shared understanding, beautiful things can unfold.

I don't know everything the members of NEEDTOBREATHE believe, but I know they recognize the tremendous power of music. Their songs are open calls to people in need of something. They are moments in time committed to tape for the sole purpose of providing comfort in a world of endless chaos and heartache. Like a letter from someone that you haven't seen in ages, "Into The Mystery" is a reminder that we are never truly alone as long as we have songs. We are always just a few clicks or gestures on a stereo away from feeling the sonic embrace of people who, like you and I, are doing their best to make sense of something nobody in the history of humankind has been able to comprehend.

To end here without acknowledging that sometimes a song or album isn't enough would downplay the sense of longing and isolation that many of us feel. When those times arise, I recall a passage from mindfulness leader Ram Dass that I recently had tattooed onto my right arm. He believed that what often weighs us down is our obsession over everything other than what is happening right now. We are worried about what will happen next week or overthinking actions from the past. Ram Dass found that the best cure for these moments of anxiety is to reset yourself. As he wrote in his iconic work Be Here Now:

Ask yourself: Where am I?

Answer: Here.

Ask yourself: What time is it?

Answer: Now.

Say it until you can hear it.

We control so very little of our lives that it is astounding any of us make it through any given day without total catastrophe befalling us. We are infinitesimally tiny creatures on a small blue ball suspended in infinite space that is constantly expanding. There may be life beyond our planet, but it doesn't matter because most of us don't even know our neighbors. We are painfully alone in almost every way you can measure such a thing, and yet our spirits endure immeasurable hardship because that is what humans have always done. The only moments of relief we get are when we gather and connect through whatever means are available to us. In those moments, we are fully alive in the present, and that is where I want you to exist.

We are sons and daughters

We are flesh and dust

We are pulled from the wreckage

We are not alone

We are lovers broken

We are vicarious dreams

We are tumbling in space out of control

Into the mystery

Into the mystery

If you feel alone right now, please know that I, too, will follow you into the mystery. Who knows? It may be the adventure of a lifetime.

A serious question

Someone recently asked me if I had any long-term goals for my newsletter. The question honestly left me a bit speechless. As much as I may have made a career out of writing, I have never been one to know where I was going from one moment to the next. The fact I've written nearly a dozen of these over the last year is nothing short of a miracle. I like to believe that I will continue writing for as long as I have thoughts to share, but I am genuinely surprised every time a new idea strikes.

I had to tell you that quick story so that you understood the following thought. I don't know what will become of this newsletter in six months or a year, but I want the stories and perspectives I share here to exist outside these emails. My solution is to gather together every essay I've written over the last 2 to 3 years and release them in a tangible, physical form. I want you to be able to hold my words close to your heart. I want to gather dust on your bookshelf.

With that in mind, I'm asking: Would you buy a collection of my writing? I know money is hard to come by for many of you, so I'm thinking of creating a zine or short-run paperback that will cost $10 or less. It's not about making money for me. I would probably donate the revenue to a nonprofit. As much as I want to make a career out of my creativity, part of me believes that communicating thoughts and ideas should be a pure act. If I start doing it for the money, then I've already lost my way.

So — let me know! Do you want a book of my essays in your home?

[elusive---ivory]

The Woman in Velvet pt. 7

This was tiring.., but it's here! Hooray!! I appreciate my bestfriend @princessgeekface for being my editor, please go check her out she really rules!!

Without a further ado.

PAIRING: Arthur Fleck x Oc

WARNINGS: Mentions of abuse, Self Inflicted Pain.

Taglist:

@gloomybih @princessgeekface @mijachula @memory-mortis

Masterlist

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

"Well as of right now, Mr. Wayne, I think we can close a deal." The man in the large black suit said over the telephone. "I'm sure she'd be happy to perform. How about next Tuesday? Great! I'll see you then." The man promptly hung up the phone.

The little girl sat in the far corner of the room.

"Good news, sweetheart. You're preforming for Thomas Wayne." The man said to the girl.

The girl's cheeks were red, and her eyes were puffy. Her lips were busted and bruised. She whimpered in the corner. "Great." She whispered to herself.

"You should smile, my dear. It's wonderful news." He walked closer to her. "I love you."

The girl turned away. "No, you don't." She growled.

"What was that?" The man walked up to her with a firing rage.

"You don't love me, Uncle Charlie. If you did, I won't play in these stupid shows." She got off her knees, shaking.

"You quit with this attitude, young lady." He hissed, grabbing onto her shoulders.

"I'm 16 years old, Charlie." She yelled. "Stop controlling my life."

Smack.

"Listen here, I've tried to be nice to you, but you really leave me no choice. Be a good girl, Sandy, and I'll reward you." The man gripped on tight to her large waist.

She pushed him off. "You can't do this to me. Just let me go." The girl screamed.

The man grabbed her by the throat. "Listen here, you fucking bitch. You're not going anywhere as long as I am still alive." He let go of her throat.

She fell to the ground coughing.

"Besides, Sandy, you're useless without me. Completely worthless."

'10:30 am? I guess it could be worse.' She slumped out of her bed, and headed to the kitchen. Sandy couldn't stop thinking about Arthur, and their little date. She didn't know why she was so heads over heels for this boy.

Sandy woke up in a cold sweat. 'Thank fuck that today's my day off.' She thought to herself. Sandy looked over at the clock.

Sandy smiled while stirring her coffee. She sighed dreamily like a schoolgirl, and pressed the button on her answering machine.

"You have (2) new messages." The autonomous voice said.

"Voicemail 1:

Hey, Sandy, It's me, Arthur. I'm heading to Wayne Manor today, and I've got some exciting news." His voice got closer to the phone. "Thomas Wayne is my dad."

Sandy eyes widened. She choked a little on her coffee. 'He's joking, right?' Sandy set her coffee down, and rubbed her temples. "Ugh, damn it, Art." She mumbled to herself.

Meanwhile the answering machine started playing the 2nd message.

"Voicemail 2:

Hello, is this the phone number of Sandy Dolere? I regret to inform that your uncle, Charles Paul Harris, has passed away as of last week. He was suffering from heart failure, and he was scheduled for an operation in December. Charles died in his sleep from natural causes. When you get the chance, please call us back at 467-286-7789."

Sandy looked at the machine. Her hand hovered over the delete button. Softly, she moved her hand and fell to the kitchen floor. Her loud sobs could be heard throughout the complex.

Her coffee mug was shatter with spilled brown liquid all over the floor. Sandy reached over the counter, taking a pack of cigarettes from of the counter. Gently, she placed in in her mouth, laying there on the floor. Sandy got up, finding herself a lighter. She looked over to the bottle of whiskey in the open cabinet. She turned away from it, lighting her cigarette. As Sandy took a long peaceful drag from the cigarette, she exhaled into the dreary morning. She took the cigarette out of her mouth and looked down at her bare arm. Sandy jammed the burning cigarette into her porcelain skin. Tears formed in her eyes as the ashes and blood dripped down her arm. She took the cigarette off and looked at the whole in her arm.

"Fuck." Sandy whispered, throwing her cigarette away. She went over to the bathroom to wash all the blood and sorrow away. She laid there in the bathtub. Hot water flowed out the faucet. She ducked her head under the water, holding in her breath. Whilst she was in her thoughts, she heard a knock at the door.

Quickly, she jumped out of the tub, and put on her lime green robe, usually she expected Arthur to drop by with a quick kiss or so, but to her surprise, it was two detectives in black.

"Good Afternoon, Ms. Dolere. I'm Detective Gordon, and this is my partner Detective Johnson." The detective known as "Gordon" turned to his partner.

"We're looking into the murders that happened on the subway. As you may know they were Wayne employees, and one of them just so happened to be your co-worker, Dennis Cullen." Detective Johnson said, as he stepped inside her apartment. "Nice place." He commented.

"Thanks." Sandy mumbled under her breath. "If you could give me a second, gentleman, I just got out of the tub." Sandy disappeared into the other room, struggling to find clothes.

Detective Gordon sat down on the couch.

"No worries. We'd like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind."

"No, I don't mind." Sandy reentered the room, fully dressed. She sat on the couch, taking a deep breath. She eyed the two detectives up and down.

Detective Gordon shifted in his seat, while Detective Johnson took out a notepad. Both detectives sat across from Sandy, who looked pretty annoyed at them for just being there.

"Where were you on the night the subway murders happened?" Johnson asked, eyeing her reaction.

"I was at home watching the TV. I had a long day at work, and I was unwinding." Sandy replied.

"Right." said Detective Johnson, writing down on his notepad.

"We had asked around about your relationship with Dennis, and they said that you two had a 'thing'. Is this true?" Gordon asked, putting air quotes over the word 'thing'.

"I had no relationship with him. He was just an asshole around the office. He was also the guy to make the most sales, but I saw no reason why he should die." Sandy replied with a stoic look on her face.

"I see. We've been asking around the building and we wanted to ask about your relationship with Arthur Fleck. The neighbors say they've see you get quite close these past few weeks, is that true?" Gordon took the notepad from Johnson, and looked over the notes.

Sandy froze for a second, continuing her stoic face, but with a red tint placed on her cheeks. "I'd say that yes, we've gotten closer. He's very nice to me. He's passionate about his comedy career, and I support him fully."

"Uh-huh." Johnson mumbled. "Did you two have any sexual encounters with each other?"

Sandy blushed madly, taken aback by this information. "That's none of your business." She glared at Johnson, crossing her arms.

"Alright, thank you for your time, Ms. Dolere." Gordon got off the couch, shaking Sandy's hand. Johnson followed behind him.

"Have a good evening, gentlemen." Sandy closed her door. "For sweet hell, it's already evening?" She said to herself, looking outside on the horizon. Sandy looked down at her scarred arm. She stared at it for a good long while, almost as if she was mocking it. Sandy smirked.

"Poor, poor Dennis," She mocked, lighting another cigarette. She heard a loud bang coming from the apartment downstairs. Sandy extinguished the cigarette.

She ran out of her apartment, and pressed the button on the elevator. 'What the fuck?' Sandy's thoughts ran a muck. The elevator slowly closed its doors as Sandy pressed down on Arthur's floor.

She hurried to his apartment door. As Sandy rapidly knocked on the door, she heard Arthur's mother screaming.

"NO, NO. HE'S A GOOD BOY! A HAPPY BOY!!"

Sandy's eyes got wide as she heard the screams. She slammed all her weight into the door, but as it swung open, her head hit the ground.

"Ugh. Fuck." She hissed.

Right in front of her laid Penny Fleck's collapsed body.

"Ms. Dolere, are you alright?" Detective Gordon rushed over to Sandy, while Johnson was tending Penny.

"I'm fine. What about her? Call a god damn ambulance." Sandy pushed the detective out of her way to the phone. She quickly dialed 911.

Arthur saw the scene just as he got home. Everything was a mess. He rushed over to the ambulance. As Arthur got inside the vehicle, he glanced over to Sandy.

Sandy had questions, tons of questions, but she knew that now wasn't the best time for them. She went over to Detective Gordon.

"I need a ride to the hospital." Sandy wasn't asking.

Gordon sighed. "Ok, sure."

He pointed over to a black car, parked on the side of the road.

Sandy sat in the back seat, glaring at the two detectives threw their rear view windows.

As the detectives pulled up to the hospital, Sandy noticed Arthur sitting on a bench outside the hospital, smoking a cigarette.

Sandy got out of the car, but stayed near it to observe the situation.

"Arthur Fleck, I'm Detective Gordon, and this is my partner, Detective Johnson. We wanted to ask you a few questions, but you weren't home, so we asked your mother." Detective Gordon said.

Arthur looked up at him, scornfully. "Did you do this?" Arthur asked, griping tightly on his cigarette.

"Oh no, you see she was hyperventilating and acting all hysterical." Detective Johnson interjected.

"Yeah, the doctors said she had a stroke." Arthur said, bluntly.

"We're sorry to hear that," Gordon mumbled. "We still would like to ask a few questions about the subway killings. Have you heard of them?"

Sandy watched in the distance the whole thing play out. Of course, Arthur had a lot of stuff on his plate and these detectives weren't making matters better.

"Yeah, they're awful." Arthur muttered.

"Well, we talked to your boss from your old job. He says you were fired for bringing a gun in the children's hospital." Gordon stated.

"It was a prop. I'm a party clown." Arthur said, annoyed.

"Oh, yeah? Then why were you fired?" Detective Johnson asked.

"They said I wasn't funny enough. Can you imagine that?" Arthur scoffed. He got off the bench.

"Your boss gave us this card. This condition of yours. Is it real? Or is it a clown thing?"

"A clown thing?" Arthur repeated. He tossed the cigarette to the ground. "What do you think?"

Arthur ran into the hospital door.

The two detectives walked away.

"Hey." Sandy called.

Arthur turned to Sandy. He smiled gently at her. His blue/green eyes full of admiration.

"Hey." Arthur called back to her.

"You do know it says 'Exit' on it." Sandy pointed to the letters above the door.

"Yeah." Arthur hesitantly held onto Sandy's hand as they walked into the hospital.

[harbingerofchaosandorder]

Deku Origin Story

This is the first chapter of a fanfiction I’m writing over on Wattpad it’s BakuDeku/ Villiandeku/ UA villain rehab. I hope you guys enjoy and let me know what you think?

2 years ago 7th grade....

Midoriya: "Hey Kacchan could i talk to you alone"

Bakugo: " Fine nerd"

They walked out into the hallway away from all of their classmate. Izuku was standing with his back against the wall and his head staring at the ground trying to figure out the right worlds to say, Katsuki was facing him eyes glaring.

Bakugo: "Spit it out shitty Deku"

Midoriya: " I'm in love with you Kacchan, I always have been, I wanna be with you and us both be hero's together"

A single tear rolls down Izukus face, Katsuki just stares not knowing what to say his expression seemed to soften but Izuku couldn't see he was still staring at the ground.

The spiky haired blonde thought about what he just heard from the shorter green haired boy, its true hes always loved Izuku more than anything, But since he found out Izuku would never have a quirk he knew he couldn't give in to his feelings.

Not if he wanted to be the number one hero, He saw his feelings for Izuku as a weakness.

He didn't know what to do he was happy yet at the same time hurt, angry, a flood of emotions went through him and the only way he new how to handle it was to lash out on the boy he wanted more than anything.

Bakugo: " Ha you think I could ever love a shitty quirk-less deku like you"

As he started to walk away he could hear Izuku starting to cry, it hurt him so much.

He didn't want the other boy to love him anymore, He knew how it felt to hurt like that and if he couldn't stop how he felt he at least wanted the other boy to stop hurting.

" You know if you really want to be a hero that badly, there's actually another way. Just pray that you'll be born with a quirk in your next life and take a swan, dive off the roof of the building. "

He wanted Izuku to hate him, To be free of the feelings he had for him, Even if it hurt him.

School ended and on the way home Izuku was attacked by the Sludge Villain. All might swooped in and saved him Izuku being his biggest fan and after the day he had Needed to talk to him. After holding onto All Might when he took off he was flying threw the air when the mighty Golden haired hero noticed the small child he landed on top of a building.

All Might: "Not a very smart move. Bang on the door for a while, someone will let you in. Now I have to go, see you on the flip side".

Izuku: "Wait, not yet. One second".

All Might: "No, I don't have any time".

Izuku: " Wait, I HAVE TOO KNOW...Is it possible to become a hero even if I don't have a quirk?" " I'm a normal kid without any powers. Could I ever hope to be someone like you?"

All Might: "Without a quirk?" "Pro heroes are always having to risk their lives. Some villains just can't be bitten without powers". "So no, I honestly don't think you can be a hero without a quirk".

And with that all of Izukus hopes and dreams were gone.

He felt like maybe he should just kill him self take a swan dive just like kacchan said he should. After All Might left Izuku walked to the ledge and contemplated.

He stood there for 10 minutes lost in thought but was to scared to go through with it.

He went to the door and when finally someone came he just walked past them and kept going, He didn't know where he was walking he just continued on he didn't wanna go home he felt like a burden on his poor mother, a worthless loser at school. He felt like he had nothing to live for.

He eventually made his way into an alleyway, He'd been walking for hours it was already dark outside, He leaned against the cold brick wall of a run down building and sunk down to the ground his knees in his chest with his arms wrapped around his legs.

He took his phone out of his pocket to check the time it read 11:55. 'Huh' he thought to himself its almost midnight and still not a text from mom she must be working late to help support him. He hated how useless he felt and with that he threw his phone at the wall across from him. He curled up even tighter and started to cry.

After what felt like hours of him crying when its only been around 15 minutes he heard the voice of a boy " Hey whats wrong?" and then a females voice " Is he ok? Hes crying".

Izuku looked up to see a boy maybe 14? He had turquoise eyes, scars on his face and arms, piercings and spiky black hair, He was wearing a black hoodie with the words lowlife in red on it, black jeans and purple vans.

He then looked to his left and saw the girl now crouching next to him, She looked to be the same age as him 13. She had blonde hair in two messy buns, Yellow cat like eyes, She sported a big smile her fangs fully visible, She wore a beige cardigan with a blue skirt, blue knee highs and brown shoes.

Izuku was confused why were these two complete strangers asking if he was okay?

Toga:"Hi My names Himiko Togo but you can just call me Toga" she said with a giant grin and giggling.

Izuku: "My names Izuku but most people call me Deku" He looks back down at the ground trying not to start crying again.

Toga: " Doesn't that mean useless you don't look useless?"

Dabi: " Yea it doesn't look like theirs anything wrong with you so how can you be useless?" "I'm going by Dabi right now so that's what you can call me" he said smiling with a smirk reaching out a hand to Izuku " How bout we be friends?".

Toga: "Yay Yea lets be Dekkun" she starts screeching in excitement.

Izukus a little surprised by this no ones ever wanted to be friends with him.

Izuku:" You guys wouldn't wanna be friends with me sorry " with his eyes starting to fill with tears, Finally two people seemed to show interest in him and he knew it was just going go away when they found out the truth.

Dabi: " And whys that?" he asks while looking over to Toga who just shrugs and looks back at the green haired boy crying.

Izuku: "Because i don't have a quirk" he starts to shake going into one of his panic attacks as he braces for them to start laughing but to his surprise the taller boy sat down next to him and wrapped his arm around him.

"Why would that matter?" said Dabi and Toga in unison. Izuku looked up shocked hes never had anyone act this way towards him before.

Dabi: " You have a home Izuku?" looking down at the smaller boy arm still wrapped around him but now Izuku was holding onto it for what seemed like dear life

Izuku: "Not anymore" he said not wanting to go home and be a burden to his mother or the people around him anymore.

Toga and Dabi looked at each other and silently nodded knowing what to do.

Toga: " Dekkun come with us" she smiles at him "You can be apart of our family if you'd like"

Izuku: " What family" Izuku looked up shocked.

Dabi: "A family of misfit" dabi chuckled "People that everyone else has given up on" grabbing Izukus hand.

In that moment Izuku felt safe and wanted two things he hasn't felt like that in along time. He weakly smiled at the two other teens and says "Okay" and with that the three stood up and walked down the alley.

After around 15 minutes of walking they got to what looked like a door behind an abandoned building.

Toga puts a pass code into a little number pad next to the door after a few seconds it unlocks, I follow them threw the door into what looks like a bar

There was a purple mist guy in a nice suit standing behind the bar polishing a glass, and a light blue haired guy who looked around 18 sitting at the bar watching TV.

When they noticed us walk in the Mist guy looked at Toga and Dabi and with a Serious tone said "Where Have you two been its past 1am" "That's no time for two teenagers to be running around the city what if the hero's saw you two".

" Sorry Kirigiri" The two whined in unison " We didn't mean to worry you" Toga squeals.

"Lay off them Kirigiri" the light blue hair man chuckles " It looks like they made a friend" He looks over to Izuku " Hi My names Tomura Shigaraki whats yours" he smiles lightly and tilts his head.

Izuku: "m,m,my names Iz-Izuku" the green hair boys looks down stuttering wasn't out of the ordinary for him but he didn't wanna look stupid in front of these people they where all being so kind and welcoming.

Tomura: " Nice to meet you Izuku what brings you to our home tonight, or should I say this morning"

Dabi: "He doesn't have any where to go Tomura" he answers for his new friend griping his hand knowing that the shorter boy was having a tough time.

Toga: " Yea Shigi, Dekkun said he wants to be apart of our family" she says in a hyperactive tone jumping up and down.

Tomura: " Is that right?" looking at Izuku.

Izuku: The younger boy Nods his head yes, "But i don't have a quirk, I'll understand if your don't want me. No one ever has"

Hes never felt this way around people before, Around his mom he felt like he was just burdening her even though he never said or showed that but he knew, and all the kids at school just hated him and treated him like trash.

But these people they excepted him, They wanted him. He could tell by how everyone looked that none of them where biologically related but the bond they all had looked stronger than any Biological family he's ever seen.

Tomura: " What does having a quirk have to do with being family?" He looks confused.

Toga: " Shigi we already told him that" grabbing on to Izukus other hand.

Izuku starts to tear up he doesn't know what he's done to deserve this.

Tomura: " Don't cry everything's gonna be alright"

Kirigiri: " Welcome to the family Izuku you can look at me like an uncle" "I'm Kirigir"

Tomura: " And you can look at Me and Dabi like older brothers and Toga like a sister" "You don't have to feel alone anymore"

Izukus now fully crying but these arnt tears of sadness they are tears of joy hes never has felt so cared for before.

Tomura: " Would you like to go meet the man whos like our father?"

Izuku shakes his head yes and follows Tomura threw the bar and down a few hallways until they get to a Big oak door, Tomura knocks on the door and it swings open. A mans voices comes from the door " Come in you two", As we enter the door Tomura introduces me to the man inside and then leaves so the two can talk alone.

Izuku and the man sit there for a few minutes before the man asks for Izuku to tell him is life story, Izuku gladly tells him everything that has lead him hear all the pain the suffering the heart break everything. Hes never felt cared about before and this man wanted to know everything about him it felt like he had a father finally.

After he finished telling the man everything he was shocked when the man said "Would you like to have a quirk?, If that will make you happy my quirk will let me give you one" "But even if you don't want one you will still be allowed to be apart of this family we will still get you everything you want and need" after hearing that he didn't need a second to think.

Izuku: " Yes, please Dad give me a quirk".

[morimakesfanart]

Sindria's Prophet #11

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]

[AO3]

*edited so the images are better

"... At least until we can get you to your room. You need to wake up before they ring the bell."

'What's goin' on..?' Why was my shoulder shaking?

"Is Mori okay?”

The sound of my nickname snapped me into consciousness. I pushed myself up and hummed in question. When I opened my eyes it took me a moment to adjust to the bright light. Everyone was standing in front of a gate.

"Did you sleep well?"

Why did this world have three suns? Wait. Two were Sinbad's eyes. That checks out.

I nodded with another hum. I wasn't able to form words yet, and even if I could I would have lost access from waking up to such a beautiful sight.

I missed his response since I was still half asleep, but I did hear Ja'far repeating his words from earlier.

"Please, try to stay awake for a little while. When we step through, they will ring the bell to announce Sin's arrival home. We didn't want you waking up from the shock."

I had to repeat his words in my mind to hold onto them.

"Oh. Thank you for waking me."

Even with their best efforts I didn't have enough time to get clear headed before the bell was rang to announce the return of the King. I ended up jolting anyway.

I was glad to still be on Aladdin's flying turban. I couldn't focus if my life depended on it. I had some energy since I had just been resting and I was still mostly numb from sleep so my aches and pains weren't affecting me yet. After being sick for so long, I was in serious need of serotonin, so I couldn't shake the waves of excitement building in me as I realized I really was in Sinbad's Palace. It's one thing to read about something and another to actually experience it. I knew I had said I would see a doctor as soon as I arrived, but I couldn't stop myself from going into full geek mode and just wanting to look around.

In other words, I was a weak, energetic, space cadet without a filter -prime condition to make an idiot and/or nuisance of myself- if I couldn't find something to force me to "sober" up and start masking.

---

~POV Sin~

Horns announced the King's return to his Palace as the group walked through its gate. Many of the guards and civil servants present gave their welcome. The looks of awe on his guests' faces as they walked through the entrance to the court yard boosted Sinbad's already large ego.

Alibaba's and Aladdin's excitement had started to wane after walking so long, but Mori had the same look she wore when she first got on the ship. Now that Sinbad had seen her like that before, he knew better than to try to engage her in something she wasn't already thinking about. It was a lot like dealing with Yamuraiha after the magicians made a breakthrough. But that didn't mean he wouldn't still try to tease her if he had the opportunity; he'd just have to try a different method.

It was a bit of a relief to see Mori so energetic after the previous night. He would still have the doctors sent to her asap though.

Given how important his guests were, Sinbad decided to escort them, himself, to the Green Sagittarius Tower. Placing the 3 kids in the guest tower was a given since they hadn't agreed to any partnerships yet. The Purple Leo Tower was where Sinbad and his most trusted lived; as much as he wanted to move Mori in there with them immediately, Sinbad knew it would be better to wait until the others learned to trust her, so his Prophet was going to have to stay in the Green Sagittarius Tower for now. This would also give them more time to prepare her permanent room.

Ja'far raised his voice slightly to get all of the guests' attention as he explained a little about the Tower. Masrur took his cue to leave. The Fanalis raised his hand in a half hearted wave as he turned away from the group and started to walk away. The King watched one General leave as he heard the other lead his guests into the Tower.

It was his time to head off too. The rest of his Generals that had been left at home would be showing up to greet him -there was a lot to catch up on. As Sinbad had started to leave, the waves encouraged him to look back at the guest tower. Mori was standing watching him instead of following Ja'far. She had her bag in her arms instead of on her back.

"Is something wrong?"

"I know I should go rest and wait for a doctor, but," she looked at him with an odd expression -like she was seeing through him, "the waves keep pointing me that way." She pointed at the direction he was going.

She was right. The waves would have her follow him

instead of Ja'far.

"It's Drakon!" Mori gasped and her eyes grew. She gave a small laugh to herself. "The first Household Member is the first to show up."

Sure enough, the only member of Sinbad's Household that had fully assimilated with his Djinn's power had entered the court yard.

If she had this much energy and the waves wanted her out here then it should be fine. "Would you like to meet him now?"

Mori looked up at him shocked and expectant. "Is that okay???” It was like he was the center of her world in that moment.

"As long as you feel up to it." This was a good feeling.

She squeezed her bag in her arms. Mori seemed to become like a clingy child when she was unwell. If he had told her to go rest would she have begged him to stay and clung to him like she had before?

Her eyes grew determined. "I will have energy for about an hour. I'll go rest when I start to wear out, and I will ask for help if I need it -you don't have to remind me." Was she this direct because she was sick?

Drakon's deep voice came from behind Sinbad. "Welcome home, my friend."

The King turned to face his General. "It's good to be back."

"How did things end in Balbadd? When we heard about you loosing your metal vessels we got a little worried but it looks like you got them back." He laughed at the end. Drakon knew better than most that his King always manages to come out on top no matter what happens to him. He stiffened slightly. "Hmm? Who's this?” The General noticed Mori before Sinbad had a chance to answer his other questions.

Time for introductions then. "Drakon, this is Mori. She's the prophet I told Yam about." The King gestured towards her.

Mori put her bag down and when she stood up she had full composure. She offered a hand to the General. "It's an honor to meet you, Drakon. I read all about you when I read Fate." If Sinbad didn't know any better he would have no idea Mori had nearly died of fever only a few hours ago -she only looked tired. She was much better at acting than he expected. How long could she hide it though?

Drakon looked more dragon than man now making most uneasy around him, yet Mori didn't seem scared of him at all. Was it because she was hiding it or because she had read Fate? Actually, there was a strange glint in her eyes he couldn't place.

"Oh?” Drakon took her up on the handshake she offered. It was rare for someone not to flinch upon seeing him for the first time; Mori was definitely making a good first impression. "I must admit that I'm curious about this ability of yours."

The glint in Mori's eye grew into a full sparkle.

Their handshake didn't sit right with King Sinbad.

When their hands released, Mori put her hands in her pockets like she often did.

"Would you like an example?" Her smile didn't give anything away. "Before you were shipped out to Baal's Dungeon you tried to be noble and charming to Serendine but she responded by talking about how you followed her around 'like a baby duck' when you were little. Then she made you promise not to die." The waves were building around Mori again.

Serendine must have really said that. Drakon might not look human anymore, but Sinbad could still read his friend's expressions plain as day. Drakon was shocked by the first thing she said, and she was only just starting. Mori really was amazing.

"I know! Let me show you what I've got copied down so far" Mori squat down to her bag. She pulled out and opened a scroll, "Yeah. This one." She stood up with the scroll in hand and swayed a bit on the way up -she couldn't hide her condition fully.

Mori stepped between the King and his General, and turned so they were all facing the same direction. She raised the scroll so it would be easier to see. "Honestly, I had some other things to write down before I could start copying down Fate. I didn't start this until getting onto the ship, so please excuse the sloppiness."

Mori's handwriting looked rushed, like she couldn't get all of this out fast enough. Sinbad had barely gotten to start reading before she continued unrolling to reveal a detailed illustration of a family of three.

"That's-!" It was Sinbad and his parents when he was little.

Drakon glanced at his King, "Sin, are those people your parents?"

"Yup." Mori responded without looking up. "He looks a lot like Badrr, doesn't he?"

Back in Balbadd, Mori had said that she had read his life from his birth to his death, but it was different seeing undeniable proof.

She scrolled past more text and past another illustration and didn't stop until she got to a drawing of child Drakon following Serendine just like she had described. Mori continued scrolling through her work, and each image brought on more comments. There was an illustration of Sinbad meeting Yunan which she gratefully skipped past, a few of inside Baal and one from when Sinbad killed the Abare Narwhal in place of-

"Is this one of me? I look so young!!" The Imuchakk towered over all of them.

Mori whipped her head up. "Hinahoho?!" She wobbled from her quick movement. Sinbad placed a hand at her back to steady her; Mori didn't even react to his hand, instead she put all of her weight on it so she could stare up at the man behind them for a moment. That excited smile spread across her face. "Hello! It's nice to meet you. Please call me Mori."

Sinbad had purposefully gestured for Hina to stay quiet when he came up behind them so as not to distract Mori, but this was fine too.

"So this is where you went!" Ja'far came back from getting the three kids settled into their room.

Mori's smile was unwavering as she stood back on her own, unrolled the scroll to the next image and flipped it around for Ja'far to see. "We just got to your entrance. Care to join us?"

"Lady Prophet, I know you slept on your way here, but you were barely able to get off the ship before you had to lay down. Did you forget you're sick??"

Both Generals that had been looking at the scroll murmured questions about Mori's condition while the Prophet said nothing. At least Ja'far's words would have explained who Mori was for Hinahoho.

Ja'far's eyes wandered to the scroll in Mori's hands; his shoulders jolted when he realized what he was looking at. "Is that me??” He stepped closer to get a better look. After studying the image he looked up at the person holding it. "Did you make this?"

"Yes and yes."

The Prophet and the youngest General present watched each other for an opening.

Mori broke their silence. "I will go rest when I finish showing this scroll. We are almost done anyway."

Ja'far sighed. "Fine." He walked up next to Sinbad to join the group. Even if he tried to deny it, he couldn't fully hide his interest. "What is this scroll you've made?"

Mori turned

the scroll back around so the rest were able to see an image of when Ja'far attacked Sinbad in his sleep back when he was still an assassin. "Since I'm Sindria's Prophet now, I am copying down Fate so it will be easier to keep in order than thinking about it. This is just a draft though. After I have everything written down I'll go back and make it better."

That explanation was perfectly timed as two more Generals had join the group from behind -not that Mori seemed to notice.

Next was an image of Hina in a cave being surrounded by insects.

"Hold on. I never told anyone about that."

Mori stopped scrolling at Hinahoho's comment.

"What is this?" Sinbad asked his General.

But it was Mori who answered. "When Hinahoho first entered Valefor's Dungeon he was swarmed by Blooderflies."

"'Blooderflies?'" All six repeated back at her.

"Butterflies that drink blood," she explained confidently. When none of them responded she tensed. Sinbad could see her turn a little pink as she said to herself, "I thought it was a clever name."

"I think it's hilarious!" Pisiti said before breaking into giggles.

Mori jolted, "It's Pisti this time!" and started to look around for the source of the voice. She spotted the Artemyran that was shorter than herself and the man standing behind her. "And Sharkkan!”

Sinbad could see Yamuraiha and Spartos in the distance. As soon as they were all introduced he'd have Mori head to bed -end of the scroll or not; the waves from earlier would be reaching their peak soon and she had almost fell over twice already. Of course, he wouldn't mind catching her again, but he didn't want her pushing herself in her current condition.

The cocky prince had his hands on his hips. "Are you really a Prophet or our biggest fan?"

"Maybe I'm both," Mori answered with a smile. Her face was a little red.

Was she flirting with Sharkkan??

"That so?" Sharkkan smirked and leaned between Drakon and Hinahoho to get a closer look at her. "When they said there was a real prophet I was expecting some old hag, not a cutie like you."

Mori's eyes dilated and she gave a small gasp. Seeing Mori get embarrassed from compliments was something that Sinbad normally enjoyed, but this time it put a bad taste in his mouth. And did Sharkkan have to get so close to her?

Mori clearly agreed since she attempted to step away from the flirtiest of the Eight Generals. She must have forgotten about her own bag though, as she tripped over it and fell backwards right into Sinbad's arms.

Mori didn't try to stand back up at all. She looked up at the King and after a moment she hid her face behind the scroll she was holding. ”I-I am not a klutz!”

"Oh?" Sinbad smiled down at her. This was much better. "Then did you intentionally fall-”

Mori clapped a hand over his mouth. "No! Shut up! I blame you for this!” She pulled the scroll into her chest, but it unrolled anyway. She was doing a poor job of hiding her enjoyment of his teasing.

He laughed into her hand and she went quiet. Her blush started traveling down her neck since her face couldn't contain it all. This was a much stronger reaction than he normally got from her. He was clearly the only one that could pull such cute expressions out of Mori. Sinbad kissed the palm hiding his lips, and when she pulled it back to herself with an "Ah!" he knew he had to tease her more.

"Are you saying you're really swooning for me then, my Beautiful Prophet?"

"I-!" Mori couldn't bring herself to deny it and pulled the scroll back up to her face. She still wasn't trying to stand on her own or leave his arms.

"That's a good atmosphere."

*Whistles*

"You don't think ...?"

"OH MY-!"

See? No one could seduce a woman better than he could.

Mori finally found her rebuttal. "Do you have any idea what it feels like to be surrounded by your waves near constantly??"

He hadn't thought about that. Mori's waves were constantly opening new paths for Fate to flow. They have felt advantageous and that they would help him reach his goals. He wanted to keep her close to see what other changes she would make. And of course he had felt that she was going to live out the rest of her life in Sindria. But what did his waves feel like to her?

She looked up at him as angry as she was embarrassed. "I only slipped on the ramp and just now, and-and fell off of the bowsprit last night, because your waves crashed into me!”

That caught him off guard. "You knew it was me last night?"

"YES!" Mori's voice cracked at the end; she was still recovering so all this talking must have been wearing her out. "You're the only one who's waves feel like this." She broke eye as she got to the end.

Mori could identify him from his waves? There were certain people who's waves stood out to him as well -like hers-, but Sinbad was still not used to anyone else being able to feel the waves. This meant that he had kept quiet for nothing. It also meant that Mori had clung to him knowing who he was -maybe she wouldn't have accepted comfort from just anyone.

Her voice was almost inaudible. "When I realized it was you I was relieved. I've gotten hurt in the past when I was sick because I was alone so, ... thank you for taking care of me."

Just like when he had first learned that Mori could feels the waves, he was happy he was already holding her. He wanted to pull her closer like he had last time as well.

Yam let out a gasp while landing.

"WAIT!" Ja'far had been about to cut in to stop their antics anyway, but this was a completely different issue. "Mori, can you feel the waves of Fate like Sin??"

The King and the Prophet both stared at Ja'far for a few moments before answering in unison, "Yes."

((Hey everybody. Pretty sure you can guess why this chapter took so long. I just really wanted to draw so much of this chapter in comic form UwU Also, a bunch of life things got in the way. Now that everything is opening back up I can't work from home anymore. I'm very sensitive to the heat so I have to rest and cool down after each drive which really cuts into the time I have each day. -_-

Ja'far stared in disbelief at his King. "Sin, you knew?? Are you sure?"

With the mood completely ruined Sinbad helped Mori stand up properly. She grabbed his sleeve to keep herself steady and he left his arm around her waist just in case.

All of Sinbad's Generals -sans Masrur who had already left- were watching him. Mori had many abilities that made her extremely valuable, but they also made her a prime target to any of their enemies. The more her value is known the bigger the target on her will be, and Mori wasn't a fighter. Sinbad had already told all of them that Mori was a Prophet since she had already made that skill known to others, and it was something he wanted to use -there was no way he could hide it. His Generals had kept the fact that he could feel the waves a secret this whole time, so they would be able to keep her secret as well.

"Mori can definitely feel the waves of Fate. But you should know it is different from her ability as a prophet." He figured he should clear that up before they asked. Sinbad didn't know how they were different, but he had enough information to know they were.

Mori's voice was a little horse and on the weak side. "Since King Sinbad and Ja'far eavesdropped on my conversation with Aladdin there's no reason to hide it."

The King and his partner in crime froze. SHE KNEW HE HAD SPIED ON HER. Did his waves give him away?

Mori continued, "I can only read the Fates of realities that I am not currently in. It's not the same as different planets; It's a different universe with different rules." She rolled up the scroll while explaining. "The one I came from doesn't have Rukh, magoi, magic, or Djinn, but we did have 1500 to 2000 more years of scientific development compared to this world-" She was cut off by a short coughing fit.

Sinbad looked down at Mori. She was getting worse by the second. It was most likely fever and not embarrassment making her cheeks red in this moment. "It seems I've pushed you too hard while you are still recovering. My apologies." It was time to send the prophet to bed. He pulled at her waist lightly. "Let's get you to your room so you can rest."

Mori shook her head. "I have one more thing I want to say first."

"Fine." If it wasn't for the look in her eyes he would have refused her.

Mori's voice was getting worse so she had to take breaks in her speech. "I don't know what caused me to slip from my reality into this one, but I'm here now ... I fully intend to use my knowledge to help this world... But since I can't read this world's Fates anymore, I don't know how my changes will affect things..." She gripped the scroll like a life line. "As much as I'd like to answer the questions you all must have now... my voice is really starting to hurt, so I'd like to go rest."

Sinbad sighed. "Of course." It was a tough note to leave on, but her health came first. They'd have plenty of time to talk once she was better.

On a side note, I will be drawing Storpas (lol) in the next chapter. Don't worry, I didn't forget him.

It will probably be another 2 weeks or so before I finish the next chapter since I have less time to work on it now.))

[seungminty]

For granted //Jisung

words: 2.1k

genre: a n g s t 

It’s 1am and I’m trash for angst and Jisung, enjoy.

-mads <3

part 2

Friday, 11:54pm

I sighed when I saw the time as I checked my phone yet again. Struggling to keep my eyes open, I mindlessly clicked on another episode of Brooklyn 99, snuggling deeper into my blanket in an attempt to distract myself from the tears that were slowly gathering at the corners of my eyes. Jisung had said he would facetime me after rehearsals, but after 4 hours of radio silence, I was quickly losing hope. 

Not like I should be surprised.

This had become a regular occurrence in our relationship throughout the past few months; I’d plan dates, he’d cancel them. We’d hang out, he’d work the whole time. We’d argue, he’d come back a few days later, full of flowers and apologies, and I’d fall for him all over again. 

Don’t get me wrong, of course I knew that dating an idol would bring challenges, especially since Stray Kids were so well-known, as well as being self-producing. And for a while, we actually made it work. Yeah, Jisung worked most of the time, but I was also busy with college and my waitressing job. However, we always found time for each other, even if it was just Jisung popping into the cafe to give me lunch, or a pizza night with the boys. 

So yeah, I knew it would be hard, just not... not this hard. 

It wasn't like he’d gotten busier, he was always busy, so was I, but he just didn't make the effort anymore. Every time he cancelled on me to hang with the boys or ignored my good morning texts, my heart broke just a little bit more. We’d argue about his newfound attitude often, but it seemed to tear me apart far more than it did him. Before I could fully explain the extent of the loneliness I felt inside, he would cut me off and accuse me of being too clingy, with many insults thrown in too. He would later blame his foul words on stress, but I had heard that excuse so many times I didn't know what to believe anymore. One thing was certain, though, Jisung had changed. We had changed. I wasn't a priority anymore, and it was destroying me. 

 There had always been a small part of me that still believed this was just a phase, that we could go back to the old us. But I soon realized that that was impossible. I knew that Jisung still loved me, and I knew that he still had a heart of gold, but I couldn't figure out for the life of me why he didn't want to invest time in us anymore.

I guess we're just on different paths now. 

I was suddenly pulled from my depressing train of thought by my phone. Jisung’s name on my phone screen had become such a rare sight that I stared at my lock screen for several seconds before actually reading the text.

Sorry went to the studio after practice and lost track of time.

The studio. That damn studio. 

It was once a place filled up with happy memories, memories of Jisung giddily showing me a hook he’d finally perfected, or lyrics that he’d say I inspired him to write, which always caused both our cheeks to tint pink.

But now, it was the place my boyfriend chose over me, time and time again. I always admired his passion for music, and the last thing I wanted was to be one of those annoying girlfriends who want their boyfriend to only ever spend time with her, but was it really so bad that I wanted my boyfriend to make me feel important every once in a while?

These were the thoughts circulating in my head as I quickly pulled on my shoes and walked out the door towards the studio. By this point, I was so hurt and confused, I didn't have the faintest idea of what I was going to say to Jisung, I just knew that I had to see him. I had to make the pain stop.

I arrived at the studio sooner than I had expected, and a quick glance at the clock above the desk in the darkened reception area revealed that it was a little past 1am.

Wow, what a fun way to be spending your Friday night, y/n.

I sighed as I stood outside his studio door, doing my best to prepare myself for what was to come, whatever the hell that was.

Eventually, I plucked up the courage to open the door, and it creaked open agonisingly slowly to reveal a mop of tangled blonde hair, slumped at a mixing board. I walked up to him, thinking he was asleep, and was about to wake him up when he suddenly spun around towards me, eyes wide and mouth agape, clearly startled by my visit.

“Hey” he stated, his voice deep with exhaustion.

“Oh, hey” I managed to breathe out, my mouth had become dry the moment I walked in, like my subconscious knew that something big was going to go down tonight. 

We remained in an awkward silence for a while, none of us knowing how to react to this new dynamic. Life was Jisung was never quiet, ever. 

“I’m sorry.” He said suddenly. 

I looked him properly in the eyes for the first time that night, and I couldn't hide the puzzled expression on my face.

“Oh...uh, what for? It was just a facetime call, no biggie.”

No biggie? Really? Not like you wallowed in your sadness while finishing off a whole damn tub of ice cream, y/n.

Jisung looked even more shocked than me now, shaking his head and laughing lightly before speaking again.

“Oh, ok that’s fine then. Thought I missed a date or something like that. So how come you’re here then, shouldn’t you be asleep?”.

Even though I had played it off as nothing earlier, I still felt my heart sink at his statement. There was a time when Jisung would've apologised a hundred times over for forgetting to text me goodnight, now he’s so distant he doesn’t even really know what he’s apologising for.

“I, I uh, I just wanted to see you, and I don’t know, have a chat about stuff?” My words came out more like a question, and I cringed at how awkward it sounded. Jisung sighed, running his hands down his face.

“I guess, but I’ve still got this guide track to finish and its getting late, maybe some other time yeah?” He said, already turning back round in his chair.

“No, Jisung, I need to talk, and you need to listen to me,” I stated, my voice so loud that it startled both of us. 

“Right... Y-yeah sure y/n, um... what’s up?” He gulped, wide-eyed and still taken aback by my tone. I was never really one to raise my voice, but I was desperate now, trying to stitch up our fractured love before it disappeared forever.

But then, I realised. I don't think there’s any love left to fix.

I took a deep breath, trying my hardest to steel my nerves before saying the words I vowed I never would.

“Ji, this isn’t working. We... we aren’t working anymore.”

Those words hung Over the silent room like a thick black veil, suffocating me, and as I hesitantly looked at Jisung, it seemed like they were suffocating him too. He was frozen, staring at the ground in shock, before jerking his head up to search my face with panicked eyes as his hands began to shake.

“I-I... no, you can’t... we’re not, it’s fine-” He spluttered, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. I watched with pained eyes as the man I loved unravelled before me, and it was all my fault.

His mouth opened and closed like a goldfish, and when it became clear that he wasn’t going to actually say anything, I began to speak, doing my best not to burst into tears.

“Things are just different now. You’re always so busy and that’s great, I'm so so proud of you, but there just isn't enough room for me in your life anymore. We never hang out, and when we do we just argue. And I'm sorry, but I just can't take it anymore, I can't take anymore cancelled dates or ignored messages, because it's destroying me, Jisung. And yes, maybe I am just weak and clingy, but I've got to put myself first for once because god-fucking-damn it Jisung, I've been so sad for so fucking long, and my own boyfriend has no idea!” By the end of my speech, I was nearly screaming, and I quickly realised that the dampness on my cheeks was from the many tears that were now uncontrollably cascading down my face. 

Now, the only sounds in the room were my slight panting and the occasional sniffle. Jisung remained unblinking, still frozen in the same position. It wasn't until I shook my head and turned towards the door that he reached forward and grabbed my arm.

“No!” he shouted, panic clear in his voice. I looked at him, he too, had tears streaming down now, the sight making what was left of my poor heart shatter.

“No... you can’t leave, I’m sorry ok? Really sorry. I-I took you for granted. You were always by my side so I guess I thought you’d stay there forever, because I honestly can’t imagine my world without you in it y/n, standing right next to me. I know I’m a shit boyfriend, and hearing how hurt you are because... because of me, kills me more than you’ll ever know. Honestly, this comeback had me feeling stressed out and down I didn't know what to do, but now I realise, that the only thing that could've made me feel happy again.. was you. Of course it was you. You are my heaven y/n, and I swear I’ll never desert you again. I’m such a fucking idiot, I was so sad that I pushed you away, even though you're the only one who can make me happy.” He laughed bitterly, but his expression quickly reverted to fear as he saw me shaking my head, tears still endlessly falling. 

“I’m sorry Jisung... but I just can’t fall for your apologies again. My heart can’t take any more of this, but I'm sure you'll find a-a nice girl... maybe an idol, someone who’s pretty and isn't so weak that they fall apart like me.” I began to walk away again, determined not to turn back again, in fear that I’d break down even further. 

Behind me, Jisung was really panicking now. He couldn't believe this was actually happening. He knew hed been a shitty boyfriend. But he thought that soon he’d feel less stressed and everything would go back to normal. They were Jisung and y/n, they were madly in love and everyone knew it, they couldn’t just break up like this. It was only when I had reached for the door handle did he react. 

“Angel, please.”

I hesitated at those words. 

 Angel. Even thinking of his pet name for me made me want to break down. It reminded me of happier times, when we were so in love we felt we were invincible, a feeling that was all but a distant memory now. 

Against my better judgment, I turned round to see Jisung slumped on the floor on his knees, head bowed and body shaking with sobs. 

I knew what I had to do. I knew what was best, for both of us. 

“I love you Jisung, and know that I’ll always be cheering you on, always.”

I took one last look at the boy who held my heart so tightly that he’d crushed it, before moving to the door, shutting it quietly behind me.

 FIN.