#this thought has been running around my head like a rat in a maze literally since that very first tweet

[pansexualandscared]

I personally think tma 2 is going to be the boys starting a podcast about everything that happened to them and then (because this universe has technically been canonized in the magnus world) getting sued for copyright

[littlemisspascal]

Death and an Angel part 9

Helmetless + Death!Din x Cupid F!Reader

Summary:  You make a promise to Din before you leave to meet with your superiors, but will you be able to keep it?

Rating: T

Word Count: 2,976

Warnings: fluff, the angst is back people, protective and possessive Din, your superiors are assholes, overuse of italics, swearing, plot plot plot

Author Note: All the love to every single supporter out there! Don’t hate me too much for this segment please.

Links to Part 1 and Part 8 and Part 10

Cross-posted on AO3.

Photo Inspiration:

“I’m going with you, angel.”

In exactly one hour, you’re due to report back to headquarters. You’ve been loathing this meeting from the get-go, but now, after being matched with Din, the mere thought of leaving him is as painful as a physical blow. You wish you had more time to revel in his heated kisses, the touch of his hands against your skin, the low growls he elicits when you run your nails through his curls.

Deep down, you know as immortal beings you will have an eternity to experience all of these thrills together. But right now the bond you two share as soulmates doesn’t care about the future, only the present. In your mind, it resembles a sapling soaking up every ounce of affection it can from you and Din, craving more and more intimacy in order to become stronger. Just thinking about being separated from him, even for only a short while, makes your chest hurt something fierce, as if a bundle of thorns has become wrapped around your heart.

Din is not immune to the effects of the soulmate bond either. Since his return to Arvala-7 he has not let you out of his sight for longer than thirty seconds. Anyone else, you would have been annoyed by the incessant staring, but with Din you only feel desired and, as sappy as it sounds, cherished in a way you’ve never felt before.

Which makes it all the harder to meet his gaze right now, frowning as you shake your head at him.

“Din, you can’t,” you say quietly, praying your voice doesn’t break because you know it will trigger his overprotectiveness and then you’ll helplessly melt into a puddle of warm emotions. “Only Cupids are allowed at headquarters. No outsiders allowed, not even Death.”

His jaw clenches, displeased by your rebuttal, but his fingers are gentle as they trail across your cheeks. That’s another thing you’ve noticed since he’s reunited with you: his gloves have yet to make a reappearance. It’s like now that you and the universe have assured him of your requited feelings, his iron walls of self-control have crumbled to dust, revealing a lonely, touch-starved soul who has long been told he could never physically connect with someone without the risk of killing them and is now desperate to make up for the lost time.

With this in mind, each time he initiates contact, you always make sure to return the gesture with as much affection as you can muster, whether that be by deepening his kisses or by intertwining your fingers tightly with his when he reaches for your hand. Or, such as in this instance where the two of you are lying together and cuddling on Kuiil’s bed, you take advantage of him having removed his full suit of armor to curl closer against his chest, nuzzling your head beneath his chin.

The Ugnaught had taken Din’s return in stride when he and IG-11 had paused their farmwork outside to check up on you about twenty minutes ago. Upon seeing them, Din had started to untangle himself from you so he could stand to greet them. His lack of urgency to conceal his face surprised you initially, but then you recalled Kuiil already knew Din resembled a human male, meaning at some point during their friendship Din had become comfortable enough to not wear his helmet around him. Petty jealousy swirls inside of you, upset you’re not the only one who knows Death’s true face, but you squash the ridiculous emotion not even a second later. If anyone is worthy enough of seeing Din’s true self, it’s Kuiil.

Before Din could get to his feet, Kuiil had merely shaken his head, saying he didn’t want to interrupt your time together when he knew you had to leave soon. Which is what prompted Din to insist upon himself accompanying you to headquarters.

“I don’t want you anywhere near those bastards,” he mutters darkly, lines of frustration forming ridges along his forehead. He still hasn't forgiven Hess for causing you to have a panic attack.

You wrap your fingers around his wrist, not with the intention of stopping his soothing ministrations, but instead grounding yourself in the moment using the skin-on-skin contact. Perhaps, you acknowledge privately to yourself, he’s not the only touch-starved soul in the room. I don’t want to be near them either, you want to tell him. Let’s fly away together on the Crest, somewhere far, far away...

Instead, you force yourself to say with the same carefully even tone, “The meeting should just be an hour or two, then they’ll make me take a reassessment test about Cupid regulations which I’ll pass easily.” You lift your head to peck the bridge of his prominent nose before holding up your pinky finger. “And by later this evening, I’ll be right back here in your arms. Pinky promise.”

Din stares at you for several heartbeats, stubbornness lingering in his gaze before at last he exhales a quiet sigh of surrender. He wraps his pinky around yours, squeezing tightly.

“I thought leaving you behind here was the hardest thing I’d ever have to do, but this—letting you go face them alone and knowing I can’t intervene—it’s a pain I’d only wish upon my worst enemies.”

You want to say something lighthearted, a teasing remark to ease the heavy tension in the room and make that stunning smile of his light up the space instead. Maybe, if you’re funny enough, you can make his precious and lone dimple appear in his cheek so you can press your lips to it. But your words get trapped in your throat, forming a lump that won’t go down no matter how hard you swallow.

You are equally as surprised as you are grateful when Din continues to speak.

“You’re my soulmate, angel, so when I swear these next words to you, I want you to have no doubt I mean them with absolute sincerity,” he says, a possessive and darkly seductive note creeping into his voice that has you instinctively biting your lip to keep yourself from moaning embarrassingly. “If anyone dares to keep you from me even a second longer than what is strictly necessary, I will stain the ground with their blood and reap their soul from their body so slowly they’ll weep for damnation.”

~~~

Headquarters is kriffing freezing.

That’s the first thing you notice when you step inside, goosebumps immediately rising along your arms and a shiver racks your spine as you navigate the maze of hallways towards the center of the building where the conference room is located. Every footstep reverberates off the black marble floors, but the sound isn’t loud enough to prevent you from overhearing the whispering voices of other Cupids watching you pass by, gossiping about your impending interrogation. You’d be angry at them, except that would make you a hypocrite since you’ve also spread a rumor or two about your coworkers in the past. You can feel an increase of anxiety rush through your bloodstream, making you stuff your hands into your pockets lest anyone sees them trembling and laughs.

Your three superiors are already seated and waiting in the conference room when you arrive. You make eye contact with each one, bowing your head as both a greeting and sign of respect. Lang, a dark-haired man who is known for shooting first and asking questions later, offers you a jaunty salute before lacing his hands behind his head as he balances his chair on its rear legs, the image of relaxation. Morgan Elsbeth, the only female of the trio, elects to ignore you in favor of boredly drumming her fingers on the glass tabletop, looking as if she’d rather be anywhere else in the galaxy than here. Hess returns the nod with a leering grin, further convincing you he was half-womp rat in his mortal life.

You reach for the chair closest to you, planning to pull it out to sit, when Hess’ low, gravelly voice has you freezing mid-motion. “Cupid 1-1-7, you are to remain standing for the duration of this meeting.”

“Yes, sir,” you say, clasping your hands behind your back.

Hess turns in his seat towards the holoprojector that is set up on the table. He presses several buttons and a holographic figure flickers into view, dressed in dark armor with a long black cape. You recognize the seraph immediately, never able to forget the first face you saw when you woke up as a Cupid. Moff Gideon is the supreme leader of all Cupids, imposing and sharp-witted with violent powers you’ve often heard described as barbarically ruthless. Everything about him terrifies you and you’ve done all you can to avoid being in his presence.

Only now there is no escaping him. You can’t even teleport to save yourself. When headquarters was initially built, Gideon infused his powers into its structure with the intent of protecting the building from being discovered or, worse, attacked. (Though who would want to battle a bunch of Cupids, you have no idea). However, to the detriment of all Cupids currently inside headquarters, Gideon’s enchantment also blocks any of you from using your abilities. According to him, it’s to prevent any power-sensitive beings from detecting your aura signatures and you’ve never wanted to risk being murdered to try and find a flaw with that logic.

To put it bluntly, you’re a regular human in every sense except you get to keep your immortal youthfulness. Which is literally the least helpful perk you could ask for right now.

“Cupid 1-1-7,” Gideon says, dark eyes peering at you with such focused intensity you feel sweat begin to form along your hairline. “You were granted forty-eight hours to determine your client’s soulmate. Tell us, were you successful in finding his match?”

“I—” you cut yourself off, noticing his use of a gender specific term.

He chuckles at your dumbfounded expression, a quiet huff of air that you quickly deem the scariest sound you’ve ever heard. “You may have been able to conceal Death’s identity as your client from my associates, but few incidents occur in the galaxy without my knowing about them.”

Your three superiors each display unique reactions to the reveal. Morgan’s drumming stops, attention now hooked by the present conversation and she gives you a once-over, clearly reconsidering her overall impression of you. Lang nearly falls backwards onto the floor, barely managing to correct the chair at the last second to balance himself. Hess props his chin on top of his interlocked fingers, observing you in a similar fashion as Morgan, but there is an eerie glint in his gaze you don’t like the look of.

You swallow thickly, feeling sick to your stomach. “What do you want from me, sir?”

“The full and honest truth.” There is a brief pause, increasing the tension in the room. “Were you successful in finding Death’s soulmate?”

You don’t understand why he’s asking you the same question twice when he’s admitted he’s practically omniscient. And the way he’d paused just now, makes you start to worry he’s baiting you into a trap, but you have no viable means of escaping to avoid giving him an answer.

Your voice comes out meeker sounding than you’ve ever heard it. “Yes, sir, I was successful.”

When it becomes apparent after a long beat of silence you are not going to admit any further information, Gideon levels you with a stern look. “I strongly urge you to reveal their identity to us, Cupid 1-1-7, so we may make note of them in our archives as is customary for all matched pairs.”

Well now that makes you definitely feel cornered. Your thoughts are a jumbled mess inside your head; half of you is convinced he already knows you are Din’s soulmate and is toying with you, while the other half believes he actually has no idea at all and is trying to scare you into revealing the truth.

Kriff. What do you do?

You stare over their heads at the far wall, uncomfortably aware of how the silence stretches on as they wait for a name. Your name. Maker, why do you keep ending up in these horrible scenarios? Who did you piss off in your mortal life?

“If your tongue has failed you,” Gideon says, tone deceptively light and airy. “Might I suggest that an alternative way of answering would be to show us your hands.”

He knows.

Kriff. Kriff. Kriff.

You continue your staring contest with the wall, refusing to let them see any indication your blood has turned to ice or that your lungs are on the verge of collapsing. Think, you rack your brain frantically. For Maker’s sake, think of something .

“You’re already in hot water, Cupid 1-1-7,” Lang says. His southern accent softens the words, but you still manage to detect the warning laced within them. “Don’t make it worse for yourself by being stubborn.”

As much as you loathe to admit it, Lang has a point. By continuing to resist, you’re only hurting yourself by increasing the time spent separated from Din. You don’t want to break your promise to him. Or, that little voice in the back of your mind chips in, cause Din to destroy Kuiil’s farm out of a panic-induced rage when you don’t show up tonight like you promised you would.

Inhaling a deep breath to steady your nerves, you hold out your marked hand, palm facing up to clearly display the soulmate marking. The little black heart almost seems to glow at being the center of attention.

“That is impossible,” Morgan murmurs, looking from your hand to her colleagues and back again. “No one can have two soulmates.”

“And yet here we have living proof contradicting that belief,” Gideon answers, gesturing towards you grandly with both arms. There is something in his voice—awe, you identify a second later—that has your body instinctively stiffening.

“That belief is the natural order of the universe.” Morgan’s voice is snappish, but outwardly she is her calm and collected self, not a single strand of hair out of place. “She is a deviation of the norm. A glitch.”

“If other Cupids find out about her,” Hess begins, pointing a finger at you like the others have no idea who he’s talking about. Like you’re not able to hear every word. “They’ll start thinking maybe there’s a second soulmate out there somewhere for them too, someone to replace the one who rejected them in their mortal life. They’ll start questioning the natural order, the foundation of our galactic society, and all those questions will only lead to one thing: unrestrained chaos.”

“In order to prevent that unfavorable outcome, I would like to encourage a moment of observation.” Gideon looks to someone out of range of the holoprojector, nodding his head once in confirmation. “Take one last long look for Cupid 1-1-7 is a unique anomaly you may never have the chance of seeing again.”

You blink, heart going still as the implication registers. “What?”

Before anyone can answer or scold you, a purple-skinned twi'lek Cupid you don’t recognize casually enters the conference room, like she isn’t guilty of intruding on a private meeting. Almost as if...someone had summoned her. Your gaze darts briefly to Gideon, suspicions confirmed when you see his smirking face, before looking back at the twi’lek drawing closer.

“It’s time for your reassessment test. I’m here to take you there,” she tells you, baring her fanged teeth in what you think is supposed to be a smile, but it lacks any warmth or friendliness. You can only stare back at her, every cell in your body screaming this isn’t right. You shouldn’t need an escort to the testing room.

“I can go by myself,” you protest, holding your ground.

She lunges forward with lightning-quick reflexes, seizing your elbow and leaning disturbingly close into your personal space. “Pity,” she says, feigning a pout. “I thought we could become friends.”

Something sharp pricks your arm. You first notice the mischievous gleam in her dark eyes, and then when you look down, you discover a needle being pulled out of you arm. The room starts to spin, fuzzy black spots appearing in the corners of your vision, and you sag against the wall, balance failing you.

Closing your eyes, you try to focus on your soulmate bond, calling out to Din as the numbing sensation spreads to your feet and you collapse onto the floor without an ounce of grace.

Then, distant and distorted, as if it is coming from somewhere underwater hundreds of miles away, you hear a responding cry, “Angel!”

Din. Oh, thank the Maker, you think hysterically. The delicate line between reality and imagination shifts and blurs, as if it also is succumbing to the drug’s influence. You feel his hands clutch at your face, then move to your shoulders, shaking you in an effort to force your eyes open. You want to see his beautiful face, even if it is merely an illusion, but your eyelids feel as if they suddenly weigh a hundred pounds each.

“Tell me where you are,” he demands, tightly gripping your arms to the point of pain. “I’ll come save you, just tell me where I can find you.”

The answer is on the tip of your tongue, only your mind starts to drift again, pulling you away from him towards unconsciousness. Your bond's strength wavers, unable to keep the connection stable across the lengthy distance separating you and him, and it begins to curl in on itself.

Din must notice this, too, screaming so loudly it verges on roaring, “Stay with me, angel! Please, just stay with—”

The last thing you think of before everything goes black is how much you hate breaking your pinky promise to him.

Tag List: @leilei-draws​, @theocatkov​, @vintagesaph​, @stardust-and-starlight​, @adrieunor​, @remmyswritings​, @gallowsjoker​, @rhiannon-russo​, @randomness501​, @sylphene​, @softly-sad​, @maytheglitter​, @melobee​, @rogertaylorsfalsettogivesmehives​, @eleinemk​, @captain-jebi​, @aerynwrites​, @promiscuoussatan​, @stilllivindue2spite​, @coaaster​, @lin-djarin​, @becauseican2, @kay2304, @odelia-d32, @nicotinebirds

[pieces-by-me]

True and Upholding

Words: 3683

Summary: Thomas deals with a mystery he can't solve, even though he really needs to.

Warnings: mention of blood, nightmares. Some angst in there. English is not my first language. 

Thomas had to hand it to the Scorch. The night sky was beautiful. Clear dark blue hues stretched over the whole horizon, not one cloud could be seen. Which also meant that he could see thousands of stars and constellations. He never imagined that he would be able to see so many stars at once, at least he couldn't remember if he ever saw so many.

He cherished these small moment of calmness. A moment to breath, sit and think instead of running for his life. The life he could remember was short. Sure he stung himself, back in the Glade, to remember the time before he went up in the box but other than him working for WICKED and helping them torment his friends, his family, nothing new and of importance came back. He couldn't remember his mother, the person who brought him into this life. All he gets when he desperately tries to come up with something he vaguely sees brown eyes, nothing more. His own mother was lost in his mind. He couldn't remember if he had siblings. He could have a brother that was still trapped within WICKED and used as a lap rat. He could have a sister that would run around in the same Scorch he sits and slowly turn into a Crank. Loosing her mind with every second that passed. Or he could simply have none. He did not know.

Sometimes he hated not knowing. He hated that he could not remember a single good moment before the Glade. He hated WICKED for taking his memories and worse of all he hated himself for working with them. How could he have done that? How could he have supported them? If you could trust Jansons words, which you normally couldn't, he didn't just work for them he worked with them and planed the Maze from the beginning. He put his friends, the people he would give his life to, through so much pain and misery that he wanted to throw up just by the thought of it. How was that possible that he himself was behind his own misery. That he himself was the reason so many of his friends morned the people they lost over the last three years.

Maybe it was better that he didn't know everything he'd done back with WICKED. It couldn't eat him up more than it already did when he thought about his past. It would kill him to know what he did exactly. And even though he hated himself for his past self, he couldn't forget the words Newt told him back in the Glade. That the people they were before the Glade didn't exist anymore. Those words gave him hope and will to become better this time. To help his friends escape the hands of WICKED. Who knows if there really was a cure to the Flare? The world was fucked and irreparable anyway.

Before his thoughts turned even darker he looked at each of his friends.

Minho laid with his head in the crook of his own elbow. His left eyebrow would twitch and his eyes would move under the lid. It was obvious that the former Runner was having a non so pleasant dream. The jerking of his left foot looked like a dog that was running when it dreamt. Maybe he even dreamed about the Maze and him being back there. But who could blame him.

Frypan was laying on his stomach and silently snoring. Drool would drop from his left corner of his mouth. Thomas thought that he probably dreamed of his favorite bacon and it made him smile just a little.

When his eyes went over Newts sleeping form Thomas's eyes stuck to his friends leg. The one that would always drag a little behind the other. He still did't know why Newt had a limb but he knew it was because of something tragic. Otherwise people would have talked about it or made a friendly joke like they would do about Frypans burnt pancakes. But every time another saw Newt struggling just a little with his leg their eyes would turn sad. Newt never accepted help and even though it made Thomas angry sometimes he could understand his friend.

His eyes stopped on the small ball of brown fabric that was on the other side of his friends. Everyone laid closer together to share heat between another but not for them. (Y/N) was not one of the Gladers. They met her together with Aris when they first came to the small compound of WICKED. Sitting together at a table only for their own. Aris told Thomas, when they were crawling through the vents, that they were the only once left. All the others from Group B were taken through the doors to be strung up as medicine source.

Ever since they all escaped WICKED Y/N was like a shadow to Aris. Never letting him out of her sight. Never being away from him more then three feet. When they would wake up her eyes would find his figure first to make sure he's still there.

She would't talk much. Not interested in exchanging stories of her maze or how they lived there. The Group would only hear her when she talked quietly to Aris. Newt thought she was just shy. Minho thought she could be dumb and simply not know how to talk. That got him a whack over the head from Teresa. “She can talk, idiot. She just doesn't want to” Silently overhearing the whole thing Y/N let the smallest of smiles slip on her lips when Minho made small huffing noises and complains over his now hurting head. While she thought no one saw Thomas did and he couldn't take his eyes from the small token of emotions that appeared on her face.

She was like a mystery to him. A mystery he desperately wanted to solve. Why? He didn't even know himself. They met literally a couple of days ago. She wouldn't share any information about her live or herself and all the things he knew he got from Aris. Who, if you would be honest, wasn't really a big help. He only knew her like four weeks longer then Thomas knew them. One thing he was for certain was that she was very protective. No one could come near Aris if she didn't let them. In the old mall she almost threw herself in front of one of the cranks to save him and almost got a heart attack when he dove towards one to break their knee with his metal bat. She would protect him and Thomas thought it was because they were both from Group B. They only had each other and their memories of their fallen friends. He understood that. He was also very protective over his friends.

“You're staring at her again.”

The voice that whispered near Thomas's ear might have been screaming it scared him so much. Turning his head with the speed of a lightning he saw Aris close to him. A little smirk grew on the younger boys face.

“I was not staring”

“Yeah you were, we both know it. And it's not the first time I caught you”

Well Thomas couldn't really deny that. Aris had caught him a couple of times and always with that stupid smirk on his face.

“Why are you always staring at her when you drift of into your own thoughts?”

“I really don't know Aris.”

Both of them were now looking at Y/N, still sound asleep. Neither one said anything for a while. Thomas was kinda glad that Aris too was awake. Come to think of it.

“Why are you awake Aris? It's not your turn for watch yet.”

The boy hiding under his hood let out a sigh that was almost shaking, but not from the cold.

“Nightmare.” Was all he answered for a time. And Thomas gave him all the time he needed. He knew or rather had an idea what kind of nightmares crawled inside the boys head.

“You want to talk about it?” His voice turned to a softness he rarely used anymore.

“We were back in our Maze. Y/N was walking me around the grounds when there was this scream. It was like nothing I ever heard before. The girl screaming sounded like she wanted to rip her own throat out.”

A sense of deja vu crawled over Thomas's skin. It sounded exactly like when he walked his first steps in the Glade and Ben screamed bloody murder. “She was stung right?”

Aris threw him a look. For a short moment forgetting that Thomas and the other boys he traveled through the scorch with had all similar experiences with their own maze.

“Yeah.... She didn't make it though. Normally they all do but with her it was just something wrong. Like her body just didn't want to be saved by the serum. She bled form everywhere. Her eyes, her ears, her nose. She even clawed at her own skin, like she wanted to escape from her own body. There was so much blood.”

Aris's voice grew more quiet with every word he said. His eyes slowly zoning on Y/N again. Like she could somehow ground him.

Thomas was shocked. He only knew that when you got stung, you get the serum and it changes you. You would be different but at least still alive. Has anyone from his maze experienced the same? He didn't even know what to say to that. But he didn't have to come up with something because Aris started talking again. Eyes still pointed on Y/N's sleeping form.

“I don't even know how the other girls felt. Rachel...” His voice broke from saying the name of a girl he couldn't save “..Rachel cried the whole day. I think the girls name was Leena. One of the Runners as you would call them. Everyone was shocked after that. Not even Harriet was ok that day. But Y/N somehow got them all back together. She gave them little things to do so everyone would get back to their work. She was also the one who dug up the grave for Leena. I helped her put the body in. I mean I didn't know the girl that died so it didn't take a tole on me than the other girls in the maze. So I figured I could help at least a little bit. When we were digging the grave she didn't say a single word to me. Just grunting when I made a mistake.”

Aris turned turned to Thomas with a little bit of a smile. It was strange seeing the distraught boy show any kind of positive emotion. “Come to think of it when you dig a grave you would think it will be easy. But no. Y/N made sure it was perfect. Directly under a tree where the sun would slowly gleam through the leafs. It was Leena's favorite place to rest after a stressful day. And then, when we were done, she sat down by the grave and cried. I did't know what to do so I just sat next to her and held her. She said 'Thank you' and left. After that we become closer than before. I mean you kinda do when you bury a body together.” It was supposed to be a little joke, but the reality made it bitter. “That was it. That was my nightmare.”

The small wind that picked up sand took Aris's words with it. What the hell were you supposed to answer to that? Thomas didn't know so the quiet spread wider the longer he thought about something to say. He looked over to the younger boy and saw that his eyes were once again trained on Y/N. She had turned in her sleep and was now facing the boys. Her features calm and peaceful. Not plagued with worry or fear. That was a facial feature that was typically found on her face.

Worry for her friend. Worry for the situation they were all in. Fear of never ending hopelessness. Fear of never finding this so called 'Save Haven' and always being on the run. Fear of ending up like Rachel or all the other girls that didn't make it. You could see it on her face. She was not one for masking it. She showed everyone what she though. A fact that made her even more intriguing to Thomas than what he already felt for the girl across from him. He admired the fact that she was true to herself and her feelings and that she wouldn't let anyone take them away. He found it out himself when they first met that she was not one for taking orders from people she didn't know or trust. And he and his friends were exactly that. Aris only told and showed him everything he knew about WICKED when she gave the ok. And Aris said it was always like it. Even back in the maze where she wasn't even the leader. That was Harriet. But she was their guidance.

Someone to talk to when you felt like shit. Someone who would give you advice if you asked. Someone caring in a world where you faced death almost every day. Someone that would do anything to make sure you were ok. She was that person to Group B. And as Thomas's gaze left her form for a second and landed on the sleeping boy closest to him, the one that was the first person to utter nice and encouraging words to him, he figured that Y/N and Newt took on the same role in the different mazes. They held everything together an never asked for something. They were the once that took care of everyone but would forget to take care of themselves in the process.

“The sun will not come up for a couple of hours Aris, why don't you try to sleep some more?” Thomas's thoughts brought him back to a place where he wanted to be alone again and Aris really needed some good sleep after his nightmare so Thomas thought: two birds with one stone.

“Yeah. Maybe that's a good idea. You ok sitting here alone? Not going to ogle on a certain someone?” There was a smirk on Aris's face again and Thomas was glad that after their not so pleasant conversation the boy could still tease him.

“Yeah I'm definitely capable of looking over a bunch of smelly boys while they sleep.” His smirk was matching Aris and after a non verbal good night nod he went back to his previous place and shut his eyes. Hoping that this time hes not plagued with dreams of dying girls.

The rest of the short night was uneventful. No one woke up, no one had anther nightmare and for once the Gladeres were well rested. Well as well rested as you could be while sleeping on sand with nothing to help keep the wind away. They all had small portions of food that they had brought with them. Water canteens where handed around and shared. And after thirty minutes of “breakfast”, and a small comment from Frypan how this was the worst breakfast he had ever seen, they packed up their things and made their way back to the mountains.

Words were few and far between because they all wanted to save their energy for walking. Here and there were murmurs from conversations of countless of meaningless things. Minoh and Newt walking together sometimes talking about their old home. Frypan whistling a song no one except him knew. Theresa and Aris walking without any contact to another person. Thomas was about to make a full circle to see where the last one of their fellowship was when someone tapped on his left shoulder. Making him spin in that direction and coming face to face with the one that was missing.

“Hey”

God even her voice was mysterious and quiet. Small but without a doubt people would listen to anything she would say. He was kind of curious what she wanted from him. She was never the one that sought out talking to anyone but Aris.

“Hey, whats up?” Really that was his answer? He couldn't come up with something better?

“What you did last night was really kind of you.”

What did she mean by that? Thomas face must have portrayed his confusion because there was a small smile growing on Y/N face. One that he wanted to stay there.

“That you helped Aris with his nightmare and listened to him.” Her eyes landed on the boy that walked a couple of meters in front of them. Making sure that he was there and ok.

“You were awake?”

“Yeah, I heard him struggling to stand up and just as I wanted to call to him he went to you. After I knew he was ok with you I fell back asleep”

“Oh....how much did you hear?” His voice wobbled a little at the end.

“Well I heard Aris walking to you and telling you about his nightmare. Caught how he told you what happened to Leena.” She paused after that for a second. Pain and loss seeped into her eyes. As to not dwell on the sad topic she pulled the best, fake, believable smile on her face and with the next words she made Thomas's face red in seconds.

“I also heard that you sometimes stare at me.”

“Well..I- that's not...” He felt like his eyes bulged out of his scull. What do you respond to that? His face was stuck in an expression of shock and dread. How the hell can he answer to that without sounding like a creep or idiot. His fumbled attempt to save his dignity was interrupted by the most beautiful sound he ever heard.

Y/N was laughing. Actually laughing. He was sure that even the others were pausing and looking at her. Well at them more precise. Her holding her stomach a little and him looking like he'd seen crank on a unicycle. It was the surrealist sound he could have ever heard in the Scorch. Not because it was out of this world or anything, no.

Because Y/N laughing, here in this deep pit of sand, was just not fitting for the scene.

But, he never wanted her to stop.

It filled him with longing for something he couldn't tell. Something warm and pure. Something whole and save. True and upholding. Something you didn't find in the Scorch.

In the short minutes her joyous sound filled the air all seemed right. Thomas looked at her again and couldn't help but laugh as well.

After a few breathers Y/N caught herself and with slightly red cheeks she turned to the boy.

“Don't worry Thomas, I sometimes stare at you too.”

WHAT? She couldn't mean it like he thought and does himself right?

“I mean we are basically all strangers, being literally thrown into a huge litter box of shit and then fighting for our lives again. It's normal to be paranoid and keeping an eye on one another. Making sure no one does something wrong”

'Oh, she did it out of distrust.' Thomas couldn't really blame her. He knew what she went through, hell he went through it himself and only for a month. She was stuck in her maze for only she knows how long. But she talked to him know. She must have seen something in him to open up even only a smidge. That was a start and he would take it.

“Well I originally wanted to talk to you because....I wanted to say thank you.”

A pause and their eyes met. Thomas could see only honesty in her and the warm feeling slowly made itself known again.

“For taking care of Aris and....and for taking us with you when we were all back at WICKED. I don't know what would have happened to Aris and I if you hadn't taken us with you. Even with all the paranoia and distrust you still did. So really.. thank you.”

He was at a loss of words. Again. The only thing he did was nod his head and letting out an almost breathy “sure”. With only a small smile on her lips, one that caught his eyes and made them stuck there for a moment longer then intended, she slowly made her took steppes away from him and made it back at the end of the group.

After processing what just happened he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Dude she talked to you and you totally made an idiot of yourself. Nice going. Next time try to use words not not catch flies with your mouth man.”

Minho, helpful as always. With his bantering words he friendly slapped Thomas on his shoulder and went back next to Frypan. 'You would look even more ridiculous with your hair sticking up in all directions.' But his buff friend was right with one thing. He really needed to use his words next time and not make himself look like a fool.

Next time he would do it. He would talk to her like a normal human being and not blabber like a six year old. He would discover more from her past, well the things she's willing to share with him, and get to know her better. Somehow he truly needed to know her. Or know her again? All this thinking made his head a bit woozy. But then again that could be the heat and dehydration.

But one thing was for curtain. Tonight he would make a plan so he could talk to her again. He would lay under the stars, watching over his friends, hoping that the memory of her laughter would lull him to a peaceful sleep.

______

Let me know if you guys liked it and I hope you all have an amazing day/night ✨

[quidfree]

hi! hope you're well and that you're having a good day:) I absolutely adore LMV - I genuinely think it's the best fic I've ever read. anyway, the point of this ask was that I was wondering whether you had any thoughts about sirius as a godfather? like, was he suited for the job, did he actually do a good job... idk, maybe you've answered that question before, in that case, sorry! and ofc don't stress abt answering:))

this is so nice of you ty!!!

ive never talked about dogfather sirius, actually!! what an interesting pair of questions.... i would have to say a qualified yes to both?

was sirius suited for the job: personality-wise, maybe not entirely (raising a child alone in the event of jily deaths would have been Rough, and he’s not exactly a stable parental unit, not to mention he would have spoiled harry rotten), BUT he has the most important prerequisite, which is undying love and loyalty for the potters and for harry, and that means he would have done everything in his power to be a good parent figure to him, which is what really matters, so. not to mention that jily realistically weren’t contemplating he would have to be godfather alone for the majority of harry’s life- with jily around he could have been just The Coolest Godfather Ever instead of harry’s first living parental figure who didn’t treat him like shit.

did he actually do a good job? i would say a resounding yes. bearing in mind he was stuck in azkaban for twelve years (let’s not get into that), we only actively see him godparent harry for three years (plus when he was a baby). obviously baby harry was spoilt v much by his dogfather; what we see of sirius + teen harry also speaks favourably of him, i think. ok, little bit of a rough start what with the unhinged prisoner vibe, but the FIRST thing sirius does when free is go check up on harry- and he keeps tabs via crookshanks etc once at school, knows his interests well enough to send him the firebolt, and he values harry’s opinions enough to not murder peter on the spot despite his thirteen year revenge vendetta. obviously, the fact harry is the spitting image of someone sirius hasnt seen except for in his nightmares for over a decade doesn’t hurt, but he’s just so awkwardly sweet to harry afterwards- when he offers harry to come live with him, expecting him to refuse and completely understanding of it, it’s so endearing (and it always broke my heart how excited they both were about it- i bet sirius was thinking about another time a potter asked to live together). and from the start sirius ALWAYS speaks to harry like a whole person, not a child to be kept in the dark (which, if everyone else had done, looking at you dumbledore...)- the speech he gives him before he escapes is so important for harry to hear, especially from someone who knew his parents. sirius is always so careful to tell harry things about james and lily. now, it’s not that sirius treating harry like an adult would be ideal on its own, and i do think in part the issue is that he skipped his entire childhood and harry looks so much like james, but i also don’t think sirius actually treats harry too much like a grown man, apart from slipups- just like a grown teen. he advises him against threats, tells him the edgy backstories harry SHOULD know (and no other adult ever wants to tell him), looks after him as best he can (HE LIVES IN A CAVE EATING BONES TO LOOK OUT FOR HIM), listens to his teen melodrama. even when he’s fucking up by encouraging harry’s risk-taking i don’t think he’s treating him like an adult- he’s treating him like a *marauder*, because at that age, that’s what he or james would have done; being able to make informed choices is what sirius would have wanted at his age. i don’t think molly or sirius necessarily have the better argument- both make good points; sirius gets what harry wants and molly gets what harry might need even if he doesn’t want it, but that makes perfect sense- molly is an older woman who’s raised seven children, and sirius is in his early thirties and lived with kids for (1) year. james and sirius were order members by age /eighteen/ and sirius was in azkaban at /twenty-one/- he was basically a kid HIMSELF before he got put in the torture prison. i always found it so unfair that literally none of the other adults ever mention the debilitating mental issues he must be suffering from- remember the lifelong PTSD hagrid got from a MONTH there???- and that’s without even mentioning dumbledore’s purposeful exacerbating of them. not to say that mental health excuses poor parenting, but sirius both /isn’t a parent/ and really does very well at filling that role anyways, on the whole, so i think he can be cut some slack for once in his life. harry loves sirius SO MUCH and sirius loves him right back- and sirius teaches him some of the most important lessons in the whole series, even if he himself never managed to learn them- lessons that i really think shape the adult harry becomes, and the kind of lessons his parents might have taught him. so overall i’d give him kudos- and considering the absolute bullshit he’s living through, with james and lily dead, azkaban sucking the light out of him for over a decade, peter running free, and dumbledore QUARANTINING HIM IN THE HOUSE WHERE HIS ABUSIVE DEAD MOTHER IS (?!?!), i would say he does a stellar fucking job.

anyways harry & sirius’ relationship is so important to the series- even the GP was upset when sirius dies in OOTP, largely because everyone could see how bad it hit harry. that scene in dumbledore’s office? oof. they just care about each other so v much and we were robbed of a lifetime of sirius as harry’s absolute fav adult. if sirius had held onto harry that day- if dumbledore hadn’t decided to place him with abusive bigots for a plan which would only pay off by OOTP- i honestly think sirius would have outlived the series. because with harry he’d have been less unhinged by grief, able to testify properly, gotten support from other order members, not gone to azkaban- and with harry he would have had a reason to live. thirteen years of raising harry would have made harry the snarky little fucker he is at his core by age eleven, confident and happy and very good at quidditch indeed; thirteen years would have made sirius as whole as he can get. they would have patched things up with remus. there’d be no OOTP tragedy of errors. sirius would have punched dumbledore at some point. harry would have sent a pic of him and his new friends over week 1 of hogwarts and sirius would have punched through a wall and then calmly strolled over to hogwarts and taken ron’s pet rat over to minerva mcgonnagal, where unspeakable things happened to it. he would have gently butted heads with hermione (but won her over via crookshanks if nothing else) and gotten on very well with ron; snape would barely have been able to be such a dick to him because sirius would have gleefully sent him howlers for every minute of his day until he cracked. lucius on the school board terrorizing the other parents? not on sirius “billionaire heir to the toujours pur line” black’s watch- he’d happily invest even more obnoxious wealth into the school fund to get first call, not to mention lucius’ imperius excuse would not get very far with sirius around. “who’s nicholas flamel? we can’t ask adults- we’d get in trouble with the teachers and our parents are either muggles or wouldn’t know- oh wait nevermind, sirius, who’s nicholas flamel?” no more expelliarmus-ing for four years; harry Trained Duellist By Age 11 more like. dobby the house-elf? oi dobby sirius is family too- now spit it all out, won’t you? chamber of secrets? yeah, sirius knows what that is. parseltongue? yeah, sirius is familiar, and fuck those other kids for being weird to harry about it, does he want to come home for the holidays? weird creepy diary? oh, sirius’ family will have Magicke Moste Evile around somewhere. book 3 is just Harry’s Holiday: The Book because there’s no sirius subplot. you think snape would have dared treat remus the way he does with sirius hovering around paying half his checks? i think the fuck not. you bet your ass they had box seats for the whole of gryffindor house at the Quidditch World Cup. barty crouch? yeah, sirius knows THAT asshole- and remembers his son. catch harry whizzing through all the challenges minus the nerves ahead of time while sirius and remus do half the investigating for him. yule ball? no sweat, just go with ron; that’s what james and sirius would have done. if the maze went the way it goes in the books, “moody” wouldn’t even have been able to drag harry off without sirius intervening. and sirius “ptsd” black would have been The One Person who Got harry’s feelings in OOTP- not to mention sirius Skilled Legilimens black could have coopted that shit from snape and gotten harry up to scratch. sirius-raised-harry would have given umbridge twice as much shit. no kreacher lying here- and harry has sirius’ mirror anyways. so no massive drama in the ministry, and no suicidal recklessness / desperate first taste of freedom on sirius’ part means no veil incident even if they got there. hence book six through seven going Quite Differently. sirius shows up book six to be DADA teacher, why not. him and remus think it’d be funny, and besides he’s petty enough to steal the job from snape. move over firenze, new hot teacher in town. half the books are avoidable.

[shirtlesssammy]

15x1 Bullet Point Rambles

We’re BACK! Kisses!

A Bob Seger intro? Thanks for making us melancholy already, show

Welcome to the end, babes. I’d cry but I’m too busy watching this zombie fight interspersed with Jack’s empty eye sockets (yeesh)

They make for a crypt as a temporary safe haven. Good plan!

HEY look at that intro art! Was that an eyeball in there? Goo? Faaaascinating

It’s an odd mourning scene in the mausoleum with fighters outside and a body to mourn inside. Sam asks if Cas can heal Jack (Boris: Sam just…no bby)

Dean ranting about Chuck and his tendency to breaking into song is golden

Sam hears water and they plan to head underground to the sewers. Alas, there was another monster there.

Jack STANDS THE FUCK UP in the middle of the room. He’s got empty eye sockets… Cas realizes that Jack’s body is controlled by a demon. OH MAN

Belphegor the demon puts on Weekend-at-Bernie’s sunglasses to cover his empty sockets. OMG

There are newspapers in Hell? Because that’s a delightful thought. I bet they’re nothing but opinions pages.

Belphegor is a by-the-book lackey who just wants Hell to return to the way it was (Reminds me of some angels.)

“We are not twinsies” intoned in Cas’s voice is pretty much all I need

Look at Cas, always happy to bleed for the Winchesters

Belphegor’s spell…worked? It falls quiet outside and the bodies are all prone again. (What kind of spell was that really?)

Cut to Bloody Mary trying to tear her way out of cell phones and mirrors, to kill a young girl. Way to be tech savvy now, GURL

During the break we talk about Chuck’s vengeance against the Winchesters. Bringing back ghosts they’d destroyed is a way for Chuck to show how futile their efforts have been, when they usually lean on the people they saved and the baddies they defeated as a way to justify their lives

“Ghostpocalypse ™”

Contain the ghosts to buy some time. USE GHOST BUSTER PACKS and a firehouse containment system is my hot tip

They find the Woman in White murder scene. Sam flashes through it and realizes it might be the one they sent to Hell. Sam looks so stressed, poor lamb

Cut to the creepy clown hunting a mom and her child and my KID IS THIS AGE AND I FIND THIS VERY STRESSFUL

Cas is so creeped out by Belphegor wearing Jack’s body he has to leave the car. I feel for him.

People in the past worshiped a giant rock that looked like a huge penis. I can’t EVEN with this show. Everyone’s handsome, Belphegor notes. Especially Dean. IKR????

Belphegor asks who Jack was. “He was our kid. Kinda,” Dean replies. ;_;

We are appreciating Andrew Dabb setting up the dominoes in this episode

OH THANK GOODNESS the kid and mom made it

Sam gets to kill a clown so we’re pretty excited about this

Don’t worry, Cas whips out the ol’ shotgun and blasts away the clown. MMMMMMMmmmm noice

“Move your exquisite ass, please,” Rowena makes Dean say. LOL that’s our queen

Hey, is anyone else really suspicious about this demon with all these convenient spells ready to go? Demon ex machina?

HOLY SHIT Belphegor compliments Dean on his torture skills back in Hell. “It was art.”

Fuck

Emotions

Apparently Michael’s cage is open and traumatized Michael is just sitting there.

Cas heals Sam in front of these poor civilians. Sam introduces himself as “just as a guy” who, you know, “shot God.”

Oh no, Sam’s still having troubles with his equalizer gun bullet hole. There’s an energy Cas has never felt before and he can’t heal it. OH NOES

The woman in white finds the sheriff. The clown’s ghost is still around. This is….tricky business

(Does this mom remind anyone else of Jennifer Gray from Ferris Bueller? And Belphegor’s a nod to Weekend at Bernie’s? Just me?)

Sam accidentally shoots Cas while they’re fighting ghosties. “You shot me,” Cas complains about this minor inconvenience

Belphegor starts the spell while they fight off this little gang of ghosts. The barrier’s erected around the town and then it’s time to run

Sam tells the clown to shut up from the safety of the other side of the barrier. I feel that that was very cathartic to him!

HEY speaking of clown cars, there are six people in the Impala right now. Who else can we pick up and jam in there?

The little girl thanks Sam (a reason for our team to continue and not give up, mayhaps?)

Dean is SO COLD to Cas, though he DID ask how he was. Belphegor is….not helping. (Also I kind of love him? So snarky.)

Sam tells Dean that the bullet doesn’t hurt. SAM you dirty liar. Dean calls back to their childhood and tells a knock knock joke. Awww look at these brothers.

Dean questions his free will. “We were just rats in a maze.” Dean bby. He questions saving people. He no doubt remembers his past torture, the literal hell he endured

Sam thinks that Chuck is out of the picture now and that he cut ties with not only the Winchesters, but the whole universe. He thinks Chuck headed off to go make a NEW universe (which explains this whole multiverse / multiple authorial drafts concept)

Trunk closes. “We’ve got work to do.” NICE SYMMETRY we approve

[annoyedfanfiction]

Jim Kirk x fem!reader (13)

It had been a simple mission. But then, most missions began that way and changed quickly. If it began difficult, you were really in trouble. You still weren’t sure exactly how and why you’d ended up creeping around some kind of underground lair. “(L/N) to Enterprise.” Wind echoed around you as you crouched in a small niche in the dirt walls, ignoring the protests of the gash in your leg. “Enterprise, Palamis here. We were unable to contact the Captain.” Well, you’d gathered that. “Yeah, they’re a little bit indisposed being dragged off somewhere,” you replied, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I’m alone. Prepare transporter bay to beam all landing party members up immediately on order.” “Understood.” The line clicked away, before Spock’s voice came over. “Situation report, Ambassador.” His tone was brusque as always. “How were you separated from the rest of the landing party?” “We were attacked by a large mammal,” you answered, still wondering how your life came to this. “Think giant mole rat. Uhura and the Captain were taken. Lieutenant Cameron was killed. I have been unable to locate Petty Officer Stable, however the loud screaming noises I’ve been following don’t make me hopeful.” “Understood. We will expect a check in within the hour. If you have been unable to locate the rest of the party at that time, we will be forced to reassess our options. You will likely be beamed up.” Spock wasn’t someone you argued with, no matter how much you wanted to point out that this is a literal maze, sir, can I at least have some leeway? “Aye sir.” 

“If you don’t keep talking to me, James Tiberius Kirk, I swear I will shave that perfect hair of yours and see how much fun Scotty has with that.” A weak gasp sounded in response, and you heard an awkward scuffing as Jim obviously tried to scoot away. “You wouldn’t dare!” His voice was alarmingly quiet. “You planning on testing that theory?” Uhura tested, but you could hear the worry in her voice. “Besides, lover boy, we still need to find (Y/N).” “D’you think she’s okay?” Jim asked, miserably. “I can’t believe we lost her. What if she’s hurt?” You rounded the corner, revealing no sign of either of the two voices. “I lost you, actually,” you gambled, staying back from the rest of the dark corridor. You heard both of them call your name. “Seriously, where are you? I can hear you both.” “In a hole,” Nyota replied, dryly. “Don’t take too many steps forward.” You edged forward, testing the ground in front of you for inconsistencies, finally reaching the edge of the pit. “Wow, that’s just great.” You looked down at the two of them, crouched on the floor. “Can you try jumping to my hands, Ny?” Nyota stood up and jumped, barely missing your fingertips. “That won’t work anyway.” She pointed at the suspiciously silent Jim. “He can’t jump.” “He’s unconscious,” you assessed, as he failed to protest. She nodded grimly. “That rat got him pretty bad around the ribs.” You stepped back from the pit, looking for anything that could help you get down. You spotted two large rocks in the wall. “Alright, I’ve got an idea but neither of us are going to like it.”

You finished tying the two dresses to each end of Jim’s shirt, and crouched down, the mud squelching unpleasantly against the bare skin between your bra and undershorts as you tied one end of the makeshift rope to the rocks and one around your thighs. “I was not planning on finishing the day half-naked in a pit of mud,” Nyota grumbled your thoughts aloud, and you laughed, pressing forward until you dangling over the edge of the pit. “And I didn’t think I’d be testing my core strength so much when I skipped my sit ups yesterday,” you grinned back, earning wry laughter as she hoisted Jim’s limp form above her head, so you could grab him. You caught him bridal style, pushing your whole body weight backwards until your knees pressed back into the mud, then folding yourself back, inch by inch, as quickly as you could. You flopped victoriously backwards into the mud at the top, groaning a loud curse. “I can’t believe that worked,” Ny laughed, breathily. “We’re going to have to find a god to thank that your mother was Romulan.” “I never thought I’d thank her for tying me biologically to one of the most broadly hated species in the galaxy, but hey.” You bent back over the pit, leaning down again. “I guess that extra strength comes in handy. I’m just glad I took after my father’s looks.” Nyota jumped, catching your hands, and you pulled her up as she kicked off the wall. 

You both collapsed on the edge of the pit, sighing, and you worked at untangling yourself from the rope until a familiar screech interrupted you. The mole rat appeared on the other side of the pit as you both scrambled to your feet, it’s mouth red with shreds of the security uniform and blood. “Run,” you suggested, scooping Jim up from the floor. Nyota nodded, and you both took off, mole rat breathing down your necks. “Left, right, left, left, right!” You chanted, trying to arrange Jim over your shoulders without hurting him to free your hands for brief moments to get at your comm. “Ny!” you shouted, and she turned to face you, just in time for you to throw the comm to her. “Uhura to Enterprise!” she demanded, not slowing her pace. “Standby to beam up the landing party as soon as you lock on our signals. We’ll be moving. Med team to the transporter bay, the captain’s injured.” You broke out into the open, sprinting down the hill, away from the tunnel entrance, towards the lush forest below. Your leg buckled slightly beneath you, but managed to keep your footing despite barely recognising the pained scream the movement ripped from your throat. “Enterprise, beam us up!” 

“We can’t get a lock!” the transporter chief answered, desperately. “You’re too obscured, we can’t tell who we’re going to get.” “Oh for fuck’s– Ny!” You caught up to her, limping a little, but still running, as the mole rat stopped to adjust to the bright light of the surface. “Get up a tree!” “What?” She queried, even as she jumped to grab the lowest branch of a nearby tree. “Why?” She scrambled up onto it, and you hoisted Jim up to her. “It’s blind as a bat,” you answered, as she settled Jim carefully against the trunk, holding him upright. “I’m gonna bolt, you get them to beam you up, then scan for me.” She opened her mouth to protest, but the mole rat interrupted her, screeching loudly, and you bolted away. “See you back on the ship!” 

“Spock, I need you, Scotty or Chekov in here!” Nyota snapped, watching the petty officer fiddle uselessly with the controls. “Here, Lieutenant,” Chekov answered, popping through the door, flustered. “Sorry!” He brushed the other officer away, and tapped purposefully at the console, closing in on the smaller of the two red dots. “Materialising in 3, 2, 1!” You sprinted off the transporter pad, slamming yourself to a stop, clutching onto the transport console. Then you slumped against it, panting. “I hate running.” The doors swished open and Bones bustled in, followed closely by Christine and a crew of nurses. As Bones and one of the nurses worked to hoist Jim onto a gurney, Christine and her companion hurried over to you and Nyota. “I’m never running again, Chris,” you insisted, following her and Nyota towards the medbay, half-leaning on the nurse beside you. “Ever.”

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S2 Ep 26-27: Marik Also Tries Mind-Crushing, Except Literal and With A Very Large Storage Unit

Ah, Yugioh, where two children are possessed by ghosts and two other children are possessed by just some guy named Marik.

He’s still pretty sure he has a plan. To be honest, at this point it just seems like he’s desperate, but I have to hand it to Marik, that he’s doing more than just relying on a spooky golden maraca thing he keeps in the side pocket of his cargo pants. Something that a lot of shows do really wrong with villains (pointing fingers directly at My Hero Academia while I’m typing this) is that they rely too much on their fancy looking superpowers to show they’re a bad guy. It’s fine to have super powers but you gotta back it up with making sure you’re throwing your heroes into a psychological nightmare--at least once.

At least once, MHA, it is Season 3. Please. You have such a huge budget and the best animators in the world. Please. I beg of you.

Yugioh, on the other hand is like...when WON’T we be in a psychological nightmare?

And so Marik has decided, after the bandsaw murder clown incident, the blown up skyscraper 100 story fall to your death incident, and the spooky mime incident, that he was ready to just really go to town on effed up villain stuff today. It’s time to pull all the stops. He’s got Yugi’s BFF’s all ready to turn on Yugi, he’s got an abandoned shipyard...for some reason...

All in all, as much as I rat on Marik, I very much appreciate that he didn’t monologue in some Mahjong bar for twelve episodes about all the reasons he wants to do evil stuff, he just goes out and does it. Let me rephrase, he just goes out and makes other people do it, but at least someone is doing something in every episode. Can’t say that about all the TV I watch.

You do have to hand it to him he never does the same plan twice.

(read more after the cut)

So, spotting Joey from afar, Kaiba lands his helicopter dangerously close to him, and just walks out unarmed, his smallest brother standing next to him. Mokuba is still taking everything in from last episode apparently and he’s just really confused most of the time as Joey starts going off about himself in the third person to Yugi.

And Seto decides to just watch? He doesn’t call for help, he doesn’t use his crazy amount of leverage, and he doesn’t do the smart thing which would be to run the hell away, he just kinda soaks this all in and has decided that he lives here now.

So, Marik, who can do a lot of the dark magic stuff Pegasus and Bakura have showed us, decides to instead go old school and forgo magic for most of this fight (other than some possession of course.)

Like I said before, if you’re gonna write a villain, they gotta get in your hero’s head a bit. It’s villain 101. Should it ever go as far as a Yugioh villain on kid’s TV? I mean proooobably not necessary? But something this episode does is show that a villain does not need superpowers. All they need, is to test your hero’s greatest insecurities to the breaking point, which is something Marik does really well, and surprisingly a lot of shows I don’t need to mention, because I already have, don’t do. They kinda rely on “well he’s got evil powers, so he’s evil and they punch a lot” while not understanding that it was never the powers that gives a show that tension that villains bring.

Like, Yugioh does a lot of things wrong, but surprisingly, they know how to write a clearly evil villain who’s just overheard that Yugi’s big thing is this bond of friendship--which is really childish--but he goes with it anyway. So he makes this bizarre Joker-like card game scenario that is based on breaking those friendship connections. But leave it to Yugioh to have something really pure in theory but in practice turn into this screwball nightmare. Yugioh is kind of like a really simple chocolate cake but there’s a tire on it and it’s on fire.

I will say, it is odd that Seto got dragged here into the friendship battle, as he is the worst friend. So now he also gets to go through friend torture with some school mates he occasionally has class with. TBH, I don’t think Seto has even realized yet that he has also been 100% abducted since the moment he walked off that helicopter. Seto lives in a nice denial place.

So lets go over Marik’s Big Plan #7.

First, off you gotta put on these shackles, seen here:

I feel like Shackles are this seasons Maze Labyrinth. I mean I guess Yugi’s shackled to his destiny? Or at least the destiny of the ghost he’s attached to? Anyway, so many shackles this season.

And then these shackles and chains are connected to Joey as well as this anchor we see here:

What nice symbolism to illustrate that Yugi’s friendship will drag everyone he knows along with him--as it has for the past 2 seasons. Not really a big spoiler for everyone involved in this battle.

And then this was a thing Marik added just for kicks, which can be symbolic, too, but I don’t feel like diving into it:

I actually never thought these two would actually cancel a game. Mokuba decided against blowing his whistle at it though, he decided it was probably too late for that. Aaaaaand it was:

Yo, how do you sneak up on people with a 70 ft crane?

Honestly I was surprised that Seto cared enough about Tea to not move, but I guess he couldn’t kill Tea in front of Mokuba. And I dunno, Seto and Tea never really talk to eachother, so I guess I’ve never noticed that he thinks she’s decent enough to continue existing. He might like her better than anyone else on this show other than Mokuba. And I’m not saying that to ship them, although I’m sure it’s a fine ship sailing around out there, I’m just saying that it is notable when Kaiba accepts that someone else besides a Kaiba deserves to live.

And then one last touch:

I guess no one told Marik that Tea and Yugi aren’t actually dating? I mean how much would it suck to go on one date with a guy and then all of a sudden you’re dealing with all of his villains?

Accurate, actually, that is exactly how dating works. You go one date and then you casually run into him in an elevator and then all of a sudden he’s like “So my ex fiance took me to court over the engagement ring and it’s so unfair that I can’t get that money back when she’s gonna marry this other guy she’s only known for a month anyway.” and it’s like “You were engaged?”

But, for his credit, 2 weeks later I needed a date, called him up, and he was like “Sorry, I’m in the hospital because I got an ulcer removed because apparently there’s too much stress in my life pulling these allnighters for my classes, and my car died and it’s gonna cost 2k to fix it, and then my ex fiance visited me in the hospital which was hella weird because my Dad is here. Anyway I got a tube down my pee hole and it was the worst pain I’ve felt in my life including the ulcer they removed from my gut. But I dunno. When’s the date?” and I just assumed he was pranking me but turns out, the next day, my teacher confirmed the kid was in the hospital and as high as balls.

Anyway, Pharaoh isn’t the worst person in the world to date, I guess.

It’s nice that Yugi was able to find all of his accessories in blue leather and silver rivets.

The duel begins, everyone cries, except for Tea who’s just screaming from the sidelines that Joey needs to remember how much he loves Yugi. She reminds him to think of the experiences they’ve shared and it was like oh boy maybe skip the part where you bullied Yugi to to hell and then he got cursed with a ghost that lives in his body.

TBH, I feel like it would be bad to introduce Serenity to the fray? Like if I were Marik I’d be like “woah get Joey’s sister out of here, that’s gonna snap him out of it.” but it’s not like Marik gets the whole family love thing anyway, living with Ishizu.

In case you were wondering, yes Mokuba actually tried to explain to Tea what was going on, so the show went over what the hell was going on I want to say like 3 times. Which is something you kinda have to do when you’ve turned your card game into Mousetrap.

And so this is where the episode ended, and I was capping along and felt like this could be a two parter post for this weekend, so why not? Lets continue.

Ah, and it starts out with Marik on a boat.

That boat gets mysteriously bigger and bigger every time it shows up. How many Rare Hunters are there? Like 10? And do they have to rent an apartment on this boat, like how does this all work? And if they do rent an apartment on the boat, who’s cooking? Like Marik, obviously is not a cook since he’s a living disaster, but I want to know more about boat life. Did Bandit Keith ever make them a crunchwrap supreme? Is one of the Rare Hunters always playing Wonderwall? Do they tan on the bow? Why would this boat ever need to be this big?

And I know this isn’t any of the Yugioh spinoff shows, but if I were to write one it would absolutely be Marik’s Boat Life. That would be the name.

Anyway, Yugi decides to fly over Pharaoh’s shoulder like a little angel. It’s been kind of a while.

So like it’s foreshadowed pretty strongly that Yugi’s decided “why even bother, Pharaoh, we don’t need your card talent today. At least my life will end as I lived, short and very awkward”

On the other side of town, Tristan has to go up a group of these Rare Hunters, and from everything we know about Tristan, this shouldn’t be so difficult? Like he punched out Bakura and threw Double Spike Mullet over his shoulder at one point, but unfortunately, punches don’t seem to work. But do you know what does?

I completely forgot Duke Devlin was a character in this show. Surprised he’s not in this competition, but apparently his game he’s making alongside Pegasus is really panning out--which is kind of effed up because Pegasus is a murderer. But youknow...I guess that everyone in the show decided to overlook that?

Whatever, I spent an entire episode trying to understand that, lets get back to the friendship plot line. Yugi decided to play a card that lets Joey take a card from Yugi’s hand, which gives him an opportunity to show Joey’s dragon. But will Joey overcome Marik and take this very good card to use on Yugi? (bro just corrected me and told me this card is actually not good but wtv)

He takes a different card. Friendship triumphs over...this card that I should know more about but I don’t watch the card games so I’m just gonna wing it here.

And then Yugi plays it anyway, and the music swells and it’s meaningful again.

Because the Red Eyes is connected with his heart now. Not sure when that happened exactly but it apparently happened at some point.

Seriously, when did this happen? I ask a lot of questions rhetorically but feel free to answer that one. Did I miss something? S1 this card was just kinda there.

Pharaoh, sensing that Yugi has very well lost his mind and will be absolutely hit by a fireball, decides to take over. Remember that the last time Yugi got hit with a fireball, he passed out pretty much before it hit him. And then he died. Yugi died last time a fireball hit him (I’m pretty sure that was a fireball in the Pegasus fight? It feels like years ago). Mind, that was a shadow duel, but apparently that doesn't matter this season because all the cards are real and no one cares that this is a very big problem.

Pharaohs legs are either three times the size of his torso OR they’re wearing extremely high waisted pants. Both scenarios are good.

And he gets hit in the face with a fireball.

And doesn’t pass out. Good for him. He is about 15% alive though, Yugi is basically going to die if he gets hit with another fireball. Like his lifepoints still say 1000 but it takes him like ten minutes to walk all the way around this pier and give Joey this:

Luckily, Marik as Joey plays cards so slowly, that the ten minute walk was still shorter than a single turn in Yugioh.

Also this is a thing? Just anyone can put that on?

so this whole time anyone could have been wearing the ring to Mordor? Just anyone? OK then.

Anyway, next week, on Yugioh:

Does Marik have any lag on that superpower of his, because I feel like it would make this show make some more sense on his part? Did the mime just walk home? If they all did die this way--not saying the will or won’t because they’ve died so many times now, but if they DID--weirdest way to die, amiright?

And if you’ve stumbled onto this blog which is halfway through S2, let me direct you to this handy link, which gives you all the recaps in chronological order from S1

[ghostmartyr]

SnK 106 Thoughts

PATION

What a mess.

In Yu Yu Hakusho, the antagonist of one arc is a man who used to have the protagonist’s job. He’s described as a character who sees things in black and white. When he’s confronted with the grey of the world, he snaps and ends up with a lot of new voices in his head. One of the descriptions of him and his journey is that such a pure soul, once touched by corruption, is destined to turn entirely dark.

The individual describing this finds it enthralling.

Eren’s friends appear a touch more against it.

I’m really tempted to just say, “and then Eren ruined everything,” and stop typing, because every time I try to form deeper thoughts, it feels like that summary would save everyone a lot of time. Mostly me. It’s also more amusing than addressing exactly how he’s ruined everything, because yikes.

As a deep appreciator of the themes I believe this series holds most dear, I like this chapter.

As a deep appreciator of Eren pre-timeskip... ahaha tfw Armin is an audience surrogate. Geez.

This is a sad chapter. Yes, that gets its own sentence. It will possibly get its own sentence multiple times, because it is the most accurate statement I can make about what’s going on in this awful world.

I think I said once or twice (a month) that my problem with the Marley chapters is that there was no hope for the stars of it. The Warriors, even if they were to succeed, are pawns in a system that doesn’t care about anything but bleeding them dry of every use it can before it cannibalizes them. Month after month, we saw good people growing up in an evil world that would corrupt even the best of their intentions.

That is a depressing setting to spend a year in. Everything about it makes you start seeing nothing but trains in each glimmer of hope down the pit. Part of why I wanted to get back to Paradis so badly, besides cast preference, was that Paradis still has the concept of hope.

Yeah, it’s a concept that is largely built on sacrificing many, many lives, but when they think that they’re dying to leave a better world behind, where less of them are eaten alive, they’re not wrong. Their view of the world is horribly incomplete, and deliberately so until they dismantle the worst of their government, but the lies that build the foundation of their world are not self-perpetuating.

People on Paradis can move forward, and make the decision to try to blow up the brick wall they run straight into. In Marley, those brick walls have been arranged as a rat maze for Eldians to run.

Now we’re back with people trying to change the world for the better. And the odds are bleak. The first conversation Hange and Yelena has lays it out nicely: Paradis is not built for the kind of war waiting on their doorstep.

The wonder in Yelena’s eyes at these professional titan slayers is a beautiful sight to behold. No other group on the planet has fought these monsters so successfully, and other countries are still a few technology upgrades away from being able to say the same.

Human v human combat on a large scale, though? That is the one thing they’ve never really dealt with. They’ve lived in fear of it at times, when their walls started feeling like the cage they were, but it’s not a thing they’ve concentrated on.

Compare that to literally the entire rest of the world.

Paradis fights giants.

But like. Non-figurative ones.

This applies that same fundamental to a very different environment, and it’s no surprise that the enormity of that ask has led to some sad places. There’s a reason not everyone joins the Survey Corps. There’s a reason, before RAB show up, people wonder why they even need the Survey Corps.

Fighting impossible odds is a fruitless endeavor, from many perspectives. The will to keep with it is hard to harness. A lot of the people we have still fighting have been given some very rough shoves into it.

Wanting better for a world that doesn’t think it needs to change is challenging. It’s been challenging from the beginning, but with the setting expansion, we’re back to fighting giants.

What this chapter illustrates fantastically is which members of our cast are still dreamers. From the start, the Scouts have been full of crazy outcasts who shoot for the moon. Even Erwin, the guy thought to be the most rational of them, starts out as a starry-eyed kid. These people don’t just believe in eventual victory; they believe in the world that victory can create.

There’s an entire ocean out there. Volcanoes. Glaciers. Armin makes this point really, really easy.

There are trains. Zeppelins. You can fly through the air without 3DMG. Guns that fires multiple shots are commonplace. Ports. More foods than you could ever imagine.

You can see so many soldiers light up this chapter. For a year, they’ve known about the outside world. They’ve known they’re hated. They’ve known this is a serious fucking problem and oh no.

Then they hear about what else is out there, and it’s like they’re all little kids reading illegal library books. Yelena looks at Titans and the Scouts with awe. Hange is thrilled by every new word Onyankopon and Yelena share. Sasha experiences seafood. Nicolo’s first understanding of the demons of Paradis as people comes from experiencing Sasha. Armin and Mikasa can talk about the Marley soldiers they’ve come to know with a smile.

Enter the Eren of it all.

His name is Eeyore now.

In the beginning there was darkness. Eren, he of ferocity and indignation, brought a spark to everyone he met. Before Trost, he inspires an entire squad to ditch their original reasons for joining the army and follow the insane dreamers. He brings Mikasa a reason to fight. Just by being a good friend, he helps his country find its true ruler. After the serum bowl, he has no trouble believing that Armin, his best friend, is worth every bit as much and more as Erwin.

He vows to become humanity’s hope. Again and again, he confronts challenges no one’s ready for, and he removes the question of his ability in favor of always taking the next step forward. Do or do not, there is no try, and he always chooses to do.

They’re surrounded by all sides. Walls have been replaced by ocean. There are enemies out there. They aren’t ready for them. They need to be ready.

Eren’s only moment of hope this chapter is when Zeke’s plan is proposed. The plan to scare the world into leaving them alone long enough to live. Eren talks about a destructive force smashing everything underfoot, and his eyes light up.

It isn’t a seashell. It isn’t a train. It isn’t lobster tail. It’s power.

When Yelena’s boat comes in, he’s angry. They can’t do anything. They’re helpless. He wants to be able to do something before they’re all wiped out.

Zeke brings him that.

Everywhere in this damn chapter, Eren’s eventual isolation on Marley is illuminated. He’s kept marching forward, just like they all have, but unlike the rest of them, he does it without faith.

“If we don’t fight... we can’t win.”

“If we win... we live.”

Mikasa’s side comes first. Eren doesn’t bother reaching that point.

I don’t know that Eren knows what living means anymore. For Mikasa, it’s her family. For Connie, it’s his friends. Plenty of characters have things or people that light up their world, and they dream of the day when they’ll be able to enjoy that light without danger encroaching.

Eren’s powers start out as a symbol of hope. It’s appropriate, then, that he’s lost his. Fight, fight, fight, but what for?

Heck, even his decision to hide Historia’s possibly significance originally came from a human place. A day or so after watching Armin die, he can’t do anything but reject the possibility of sacrificing another friend.

A year later, Eren doesn’t even flinch when he discusses that motivation. “I will admit that it was a thoughtless decision.”

(Sidebar:

Am I seeing things, or does Eren look a lot like Frieda there? I mean yes, the hair length, but the way the framing is done, his bangs are cut off, letting it match up more closely to Frieda’s style, and their pupil/iris style has always been similar. I ask rhetorically because Eren has Frieda’s memories, and on the topic of Historia, that feels very relevant. Please be intentional and not an optical illusion.

Let Eren be Historia’s big sister 2k18. He has at least two voices in his head who adore their baby sisters, give me this.)

Historia might not be Armin-Mikasa tier of friendship, but she doesn’t need to be (and hell, she’s the one witness to him begging for death; I’d call that a bonding experience (...actually, based on where things were left on Historia’s side, Eren is her best friend, and wow is that not a good spot to be in (go find Connie, Historia; he’s down a bestie))). Eren loves his friends. That is perhaps on a top three list of important Eren traits. Trost is basically a giant introduction arc, and a primary point is Eren’s rock-solid faith in Armin, his bestie.

Eren loves his damn friends. It was not a thoughtless decision to hide the risk to Historia; it was him being at the end of his tolerance for anything coming even close to hurting one of his people. It was a bad decision, and everyone should be very annoyed with him for not letting it enter the think tank for a whole year, because hey, maybe we don’t want to turn the reigning monarch into a titan, but experimenting with blood magic might be useful just a little don’t you think kind of.

Dumb decisions do not equal baseless ones. Eren being comfortable writing off his concern is a very bloody red flag.

At one point, the threat to Historia mattered to him (which, again: Eren, they were not going to turn the reigning monarch into a fucking titan on a whim).

At one point, working together with his friends as a team mattered to him.

At one point, the ocean could bring a light to his eyes.

Now, everyone around him is on board with chasing freedom. He isn’t chasing it with them. He’s chasing the win. What comes after that, who knows, but he can’t find out until he wins. That’s what matters. His buddies can talk all they want about making friends and life being better, he’ll be busy practicing his aim.

Eren.

You and Reiner need therapy.

Seek. Help. Stop murdering children and go find Mikasa and ask for a hug, because she’s probably the only one who might go for that at the moment and you need one. Well, maybe your brother might too. You know, that guy who will spend the last year of his life receiving death threats from Levi every single day.

This is a very nicely constructed chapter, and for once it makes me happy that Armin likes playing narrator. ...Even if I think I’m supposed to care that he’s addressing his narration to someone. And I don’t. I really don’t. Please don’t ask me to.

But yeah, coming back to Armin, who gives birth to Eren’s dream, at the obvious death of it, is a great format. Eren was right during serum bowl. Armin’s never lost sight of the ocean. Armin has always dropped into moodiness fast, but he doesn’t get lost in it. He’s sensitive, but nowhere close to fragile.

He’s as lost as everyone is with this, so he does the sensible thing: he goes to someone who must have known what it’s like to bear a burden like this. Annie can’t talk back, but Armin knows her experiences well enough to go to her anyway.

When Annie’s a giant, looking down at the tiny ants of the Survey Corps, she spares his life. She kills plenty of people (funny how insignificant that feels nowadays...), but Annie, in an impossible situation, finds room to let her heart stop her from destroying everything.

Armin destroys everything. He doesn’t see a face and pause. He walks, and buildings fall, and people die.

I think Armin’s always seen something of a kindred spirit in Annie. She’s a fighter, but she’s also a thinker. Most of the things she says have an ocean of depth to them, and I think that Armin is someone who appreciates that. Now that he knows what it’s like to kill huge numbers, feeling like he has to, it’s no surprise that he’s reaching out to her.

Especially since his best friend is unrecognizable right now.

I hope it won’t stick, but... the assault on Marley was horrific, and even if the same choice would have been reached regardless, Eren’s actions guaranteed devastation. Armin’s Paradis’ most destructive weapon right now. His best friend abandoning them turns him into a mass murderer.

That is not a small thing. And part of why it hurts so much is that Armin thought he understood his best friend better than anyone. He’s known Eren for years. He’s previously been a staunch shipper of Mikasa and Eren, but he still puts his understanding of their guy over hers. Before this.

Eren’s not who he used to be. No one is, but Eren’s trials have broken him into something his friends don’t trust, and don’t know how to trust.

“I wonder if... just maybe... there could have been a different path. I keep on coming back to that.”

There’s good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for. What they’ve got to worry about is how much of that good their fight will destroy before the end.

This is a sad chapter.

[eatplantswanderoften]

EDAW 2020

February 1 marked the first day of Eating Disorder Awareness Week in Canada. The increased transparency and activity on social media this week has really made me think back on my journey and, me being me, I thought I would share this mess of thoughts with you. I also figured it was time to give you an update on how I’ve been handling life recently.

Last I rambled at you, I had started therapy, started lifting, and started being “okay” (or neutral) with the weight gain. I have still been taking my recovery one day at a time and have been having more good days then bad, but it’s not perfect. I have continued to see my therapist and really benefited from the practices and mindsets she has shared with me. I’ve thrived so well, in fact, that she provided the option of seeing her every second month, because I was barely acting on my disordered thoughts, to see how I faired with a little less supervision. At first, I was so proud of myself…but then the worry snuck in and my brain, being the arsehole that it is, immediately wanted to go back to restriction and disordered thoughts. Am I better? Does this mean I’m fat enough that I can’t possibly have an eating disorder anymore? Ridiculous thoughts to most people, but this is the shit that goes through my head. But, despite my dickhead brain, I ignored these thoughts (mostly) and trudged forward.

Speaking of weight gain, I have officially hit the +25 lb club. Do I know its what’s best for my body? Yes. Am I happy about it? Changes by the minute. I had mentioned in my last post about being disappointed when I didn’t see the scale go up. Those feelings hung around…until that scale did rise. Before this disorder, I never imagined it was possible to have such drastically different opinions on something at the same time. On one hand, a little extra weight means increased health (while, let me tell ya, has been one hell of an added benefit) and the possibility for muscle growth, which is what this aspiring powerlifter needs and wants. On the other, its literally going against every belief and aspiration I had for most of my life. When you have spend almost 30 years convincing yourself the scale should go down every time you step on it, seeing it go in the opposite direction is like a swift kick straight in your newly padded gut.  Seeing myself with the little extra padding around where my lower abs once were, seeing new stretch marks, honestly disgusts my dickhead disordered brain. If I don’t increase my lifts at the gyms, if my pants feel too tight, I instantly feel like none of this recovery and weight gain was worth it and want to fall back into my old patterns. But then I think about how far I’ve come, about how much strength I’ve gained both physically and mentally, and about how much I never fucking want to go through this again; and I stop those thoughts. If I were to relapse now, I would have to do all of this again. I take a deep breath and think about the facts:

I am SO much stronger

My health and energy has increased 10-fold

115 lbs is not huge, despite the feeling that I look like a whale

I am SO much more than my weight

These thoughts allow me to move forward, day by day, meal by meal. Is it easy? No. But is it would it? 100%. Being Eating Disorder Awareness Week, the increased feel on my social media has made the dickhead (my disordered brain) compare myself to everyone. Maybe I’ve recovered because I’ve gained too much weight. I feel like seeing all these posts make me feel like my gut is huge. If I don’t struggle quite as bad as some of these people, my struggle isn’t as important. Maybe I’m just an over eater/binge eater and should try to diet again. Insane thoughts I know, but they are there. And I feel even worse because, if I am having these thoughts, I’m letting the dickhead win and I’m failing. But, just like before I stop and think logically, everyone’s struggle is different and can not be compared. We are here to support one another, not compete.

So here I am, continuing to fight. Fight my stigma to be skinny, fight my body telling me to restrict myself and fear the weight gain, and fight this disorder not only for myself, but my loves ones who supported me along the way. I'm proud to say alot has changed over the past year. As ive said before, my progress likely resembles that of a drunk, blind mole rat running though a laboratory maze. But hey, regardless of the setbacks I'm moving forward. Taking my recovery one day at a time. Be it my amazing support system, my love of lifting and how it's transformed my body, or my ungodly stubbornness not to let this disorder win, I am slowly beginning to love this body of mine and what it can do. So if you are struggling, please know you are not alone. I have your back, and I support you. You are more than your weight, you are so much more than this disorder, and YOU ARE ENOUGH💕

Your perpetually hungry herbivore,

Nat

[tkscz]

Defining and changing the name of Metroidvania

I've wanted to do this for a while now, but I wanted to work out all of my thoughts before writing this. This is going to be a long one, but I think it's time we truly define what makes a game a MetroidVania. Lately I've been playing games that seem to get placed in that genre that never really feel like Metroid or Castlevania: Musical noun of DARK EDGE noun. If anything, they always felt like either Zelda II: The Adventure of Link or Castlevania II: Simon's Quest. It always felt like they got a few elements from the former, but most of the game played like the latter. For example, Guacamelee and Steam World Dig. I enjoyed both games, don't get me wrong, but neither felt like I was playing a MetroidVania, regardless of the former game making Metroid references. They always felt like they did something that took them out of what made the MetroidVania genre so unique to me. So, I replayed Guacamelee at the same time I played Super Metroid and kept trying to pin point what about Guacamelee (and other subsequent games placed in the genre) felt so off. As I played through I began to notice what about them felt so different, regardless of what about them were similar.

My play through of both games got me to realize what was at the core of this genre. For me, it was the exploration, more precisely, the way you explore. And I don’t just mean back tracking. I feel like I shouldn’t be mentioning that at this point, but it needs to be said, back tracking is in a lot of adventure style games. Sandboxes? Backtracking. Zelda-like games? Backtracking. Even some rouge-like and RPGs have a lot of backtracking. Backtracking is a part of Metroidvanias, but not the only genre where backtracking is a part of its core. Now that I got that out of the way, what makes its exploration feel unique is that it’s a maze, more to say, its entire world is one big maze. In Metroidvania games, and in mazes, there is a very specific path from the beginning to the end, and like with any maze, the player is not given any clue how to traverse said maze, they just have to do it. Some games gave you a way point, but found ways to maze around said way points. For example, Metroid Prime told you what room you need to get to next, but often left out how to get there, leaving the player to discover the way themselves. Metroid Zero mission went a little too far with the hints, but kept the world twisted enough to keep the feeling of a maze. We won’t talk about Other M, not at this point. However, in a game like Guacamelee, the game’s world didn’t always seem maze like. The game would tell me where to go with a map detailed enough for me to tell exactly how I get there. I didn’t quite notice it, but after the second play through it hit me, the game had a hub/overworld. While the hub felt somewhat maze like, it broke up the flow of the world, giving the game a different feel, closer to a Zelda than a Metroid. It became even more noticeable when I decided to start playing Castlevania Symphony of the Night and Aria of Sorrow.

What I then wanted to figure out was why did this hub world break up the game. Why did Guacamelee feel more like Zelda than Metroid? Hell, why didn’t Zelda and Metroid feel the same? So, I focused on the hub world and started to realize what it was pretty quickly. The hub world felt more linear. There were areas of the hub world that could be explored, but not very many. In Metroid games, there are multiple ways you can go, most wrong (although the game usually does reward you for your exploration) however, the game never felt like the world was split into two different types of worlds. Even if you take all the wrong ways, it still feels like the same world map. On the other hand, in similar games with hub worlds, it felt far more linear because the hub world isn’t a part of the maze like sub-worlds, and thus the way you explored them became different. In a Metroid game, the player went the wrong way because the player was trying to find the correct way, like any maze you do on paper. With a hub world, the player doesn’t really do that. The game doesn’t make it difficult to find the more maze like sub-areas (dungeons, temples, small off to the side rooms), but instead, gives the player hints on where to find them. They are huge and distinguishable on the overworld map. The game has obvious signs pointing to their destination (figuratively and literally). The player could go off on a tangent and explore the overworld, but the player rarely did it because they got lost, they mostly did it because, well it’s fun. It’s fun to just explore the overworld map, but the player is usually aware that they are going off on a tangent and not towards the purpose goal. In the more maze-like adventure style (Metroidvania) games, the player doesn’t know where they’re headed, they went into a room because the thought it would lead them to where they’re supposed to go, but instead, they went into a room with a new item or some other prize the game gave them, and not to go on a tangent, but that is a brilliant thing to do. The developers know the player is going to run into dead ends or just go down the wrong path, but giving the player a prize for doing so only helps the player want to keep going through the maze. You know how scientist use to lead rats through a maze by having the snack at the end and the rat goes through the entire thing with the end goal in mind? Well, people are not rats. When people go through a maze, they become tired of reaching dead ends, and will quit the maze if they kept running into them. But, if players get something for every wrong way, then they’ll feel even if they go the wrong way, they’ll at least get something, and that makes the maze worth it, and even that is a part of the Metroidvania gameplay.

So then, why are these games in the same genre? If I’m confident that these games are more Zelda-like than they are Metroid, why is it these games still get classified into that genre? Well, because they do share some similarities with Metroid. The idea of what made a game a “Metroidvania” was as follows: an adventure game that is 2D, has platforming and you need to collect items to go from one part of the game to the next. However, that’s vague. There are RPGs that play like that, but we still call them RPGs. Zelda titles play a lot like that, Zelda II in particular, but other 2D Zeldas have had platforming elements in them. Hell, I even asked before, why aren’t Zelda and Metroid in the same sub-genre of adventure games. And as I explained right afterwards, the way the player explores isn’t the same. It all comes down to the world, whether or not it has one large maze-like world, or a hub world that leads to smaller maze like sub-areas. But let’s go even further into this definition of a Metoridvania and break up what makes this type of game.

Let’s go over the item use. See, one of the things that makes a Metroidvania (which from this point on I will refer to as the “Maze-like”) is gaining an item to unlock doors that were once locked. For example, the pink doors in Metroid can only be opened by a missile. To start the player doesn’t have any, so they can’t break those doors. Once they get them, they can go back to all the pink doors they skipped. This actually goes on throughout the rest of the game. Regardless of opening these pink doors, there are even more pink doors going forward, which you already have the key to. But other games do this. Other adventure games have done this for a long time. Point and clicks, mystery games, Zelda-like games, they have all done this. To say this defines Metroid doesn’t make sense when it’s part of other genres of adventure games. So then, is there a way that Metroid does it different than these other games? Yes, it continues to use the item no matter what. In other games that have been placed under the Maze-like genre, and other adventure genre games for that matter, the player uses the item in three main places; the overworld the sub-world they found the item, and the final level. The ability is barely used elsewhere (other sub-worlds), while in Maze-likes, the ability is constantly used. This can be contributed back to the one single world aspect. It’s used everywhere because the world isn’t split up in a way where specific areas only need the item for progression. The world is an open maze where at any time, any item can be needed to progress. Whereas Zelda-like adventure games (and other games in the adventure genre) usually have one spot on the linear overworld that needs it for progression. It’s a way to let the player know they are progressing. The player gets deeper into the world, which confirms their progression, rather than beating a specific sub-area being confirmation of progression.

Another aspect of the Maze-like that separates it form the Zelda-like is its choice of world structure. As I pointed out before, Maze-likes do NOT have hub worlds, as that would separate the game into two forms of exploration, exploration by choice and exploration by accident. That happens because of the way these two worlds have you travel. See, in a Maze-like, the player always has many choices in which door or way they choose to enter/go. Most are locked off until the specific item to open that way is obtained, and this causes the game to be structured different than Zelda-likes with their hub worlds. Let’s say these paths in both games are lettered, with each letter following the correct path to go, e.g. A to B, B to C, C to D and so on. Let’s also say that for other paths that can be taken, the doors are labeled in double or triple letters, like AA or DBB. Let’s then say in each genre the player starts at doorway A. In a Maze-like, the player goes through door A and then passes other doors. However, these doors may not be door B or C or D. They could be door AD, door CDB, and door Z, with Z leading to the final area of the game. As the player final gets to B and obtain the next item, after passing a few more doors after B, the item the player obtain does not open door C, but instead opens RQ, which has halls with doors CB, WZ, RRR, and D, which D can only be gotten through by getting the item at the end of C, and even after getting into door D, door E is not within that area, but instead it leads to doors O and T, while door E is behind door CDB, which was back in the area between door A and B. This creates the maze-like structure as it requires the player to have to go through each multi-letter door, before they can find each single letter door. Now with Zelda-likes, after going on path A, the player is lead directly to path B, but B is locked and the player now has to go to sub-world A, aka the first dungeon. Once sub-world A’s item has been obtained and boss defeated, the player then can unlock hub-world path B. The player then has the choice of going directly to path C, but can also travel to path AA or path AB or path AC, as the item from sub-world A also access to them. However, the player is made very well aware of how to get to path C and is aware that path AA to AC are for exploration, and not progression. They can get an item that would help from those areas, but it’s not necessary to beat the game. This creates a different play from it’s world structure. As I said before, the player doesn’t travel the wrong way on accident, but makes the choice of going in that direction, making it so the structure of the game’s world effects how the player plays the game.

Now let’s go into another aspect of the old definition of Maze-like, the dimensions part of it. There are so many people who put games into this genre because they are 2D. However, there are games that fit perfectly into the genre that are 3D (NOT OTHER M! but I’ll get to that in a bit). I’m going to start with a mind blower, Resident Evil is a Maze-like. Now I can hear people disagreeing with that, saying it’s a survival horror, and they are right. A big part of that game is based on its horror elements and the lack of resources given to the player, however, the way it has the player progress through the world is how it’s done in a Maze-like. If one re-plays the original (or Remake) Resident Evil, they’ll notice that without the fear factor, and with good skill in ammo and health conservation, that the game works like a Maze-like. The player finds specific items that they can use to access areas they could not before in order to find other items to access further into the world, without the need of a hub. The game has no platforming what-so-ever and yet still pulls it off, showing that the genre doesn’t need to be in 2D (or be a platformer) to work. Batman: Arkham Asylum (NOT City, Origins or Knight) and Luigi’s Mansion also follow this closely (though because Luigi’s Mansion uses no specific keys most of the time, the game has to tell the player what key goes with what door, or the player would have to painstakingly check every door), allowing them to also fit into the Maze-like genre.

I feel like, at this point, I’ve proven my point on what makes a maze-like what it is. Rather than it just being a 2D platform-adventure game that you gather keys in to open doors in order to progress, it’s instead an adventure game where there is no hub/overworld and the rest of the world is built on a maze-like structure where items are keys to opening doors throughout the world. But I feel I need to take this time to address two elephants in the room. One of them I’ve brought up, Metroid: Other M. This is NOT a maze-like. Other M took what made Metroid what it is, and stripped it all away for a story. The world was no longer maze-like, it was linear. Long halls with few or no branching paths, and if it did have one, it was usually something you accessed for an item to use on a door that was right in front of you and felt like a waste of time. Then it filled out your map at EVERY save spot and gave you the way point to the very next save spot to give you the next way point and so forth. How is that adventuring? How is that in anyway allowing the player to explore the world by trying to find the correct path? What’s worse, people went “YEAH THIS IS METROIDVANIA BECAUSE IT HAS PLATFORMING!” Which I’ve already pointed out isn’t a necessity of the maze-like. Which leads to the other elephant, there was an article created claiming that Metroid and Castlevania were not the same genre, but instead, Metroid is a platformer and Cstlevania was an RPG, and my rebuttal for this, how often do you redo a maze? I mean, after you get through it once, maybe twice for harder ones, how often can you keep going back through the maze knowing the exact path to do? Not that fun is it? Well developers of Metroid and Castlevania saw this and gave each of their games secondary genres in order to make them more replayable. For Metroid, the platforming allowed for a really enjoyable way to explore (and cheat the game). Speedrunners will use Metroid’s platforming to aid in their memory of the games maze. Castlevania’s RPG elements kept players coming back because of all the souls and items they can find and unlock and mess around with, while seeing what the game is like when you level up a lot. These elements aren’t the core behind the games or what puts them both into maze-likes. They are meant to be ways to keep the games interesting and replayable, and because players go back for these elements, they are often more focused on than the maze-like elements.

I think I’ve explained all I’ve needed to, and I suppose I even wrote this because of my deep love for this genre, and how tired I am of playing Zelda games with maze-like paint over them and maybe someone will read this and get a better understanding of what a maze-like is and create one closer to what Metroid is. Also so that Maze-like will start to be used because Metroidvania is not a good title for a genre.

And yes, before anyone says anything about it, I know Koji Igarashi based SotN on Zelda and not Metroid, but it still came out the way it did.

[chrissysky]

MAZE IN YOUR FACE

A "brief" explanation on this weird 90s anime that no one remembers except for the fandom comprised entirely of five people and a lab rat (I may be the lab rat--you decide) that people occasionally talk about because they found it at their used DVD store and didn't know what they were buying.

How Does One Describe Maze?

"I don't know, that's your job," you say, but the question isn't entirely rhetorical. I'm not sure if this can be described as an anime and not "This is a thing that happened to me." You sort of have to experience it.

But don't, you're probably not going to like it.

I like it because I like terrible things, as seen by continuingly letting myself be dragged back into DC Comics.

But let's talk about Maze.

To begin, let's talk about the climate in which this came out in. Sexualized, crass humor was really in vogue in Japan during the 90s, and if you think your 90s anime was exempt from it, you're wrong. (I'm looking at you, Evangelion.) Ranma ½ is actually an example of this type of humor working out in a more universal way that's not going to just appeal to the scum-licker portion of anime watchers.

Maze is more… the opposite end of that spectrum.

You know what else was still really popular in the mid-90s? Slayers. The Slayers influence oozes off on this one, down to the character designs being by the same person. But all those goofy western RPG style adventures? Boy howdey do we have those.

(If this were an RPG run by a GM who is drunk and doesn't remember his plan for the campaign.)

In fact, the only reason Maze was even brought over to the US was because it was the big anime boom. Companies were buying up cheap properties left and right, dubbing it quickly, and putting it out as fast as they could. Japanese companies hadn't made much money off them in the first place so they thought it was a chance to get some of that money back.

So you betcha the dub is mostly made up of people who used pseudonyms.

No Really, What Is This About?

Maze Bakunetsu Jikuu (Mega-Burst Space) is like Wizard of Oz, if you squint your eyes, tilt your head to the side, and are actually looking at the Tin Man Syfy miniseries.

We begin our journey with Maze waking up in her bedroom and not remembering anything about her life, apart from her name. She finds that her bedroom is all that's left of her house, and it's landed on some monsters who were trying to kill a magical princess. Maze is our real world POV character, though since she has magic amnesia, this only really comes in with exaggerated winks and nudges.

Our magical princess is Mil, who falls in love with Maze at first sight. (That's right--one great point in this series' favor is that it can't give a shit about gender or sexual orientation norms. The creator doesn't give a fuck about ANYTHING and doesn't think you should either. He's an interesting man and I kinda wish he still made anime actually…)

Mil, and there's no gentle way to put this, is a sexualized 12 year old who every canon documentation I was able to find when this came out stated she was 19. (None of which exists now because Yahoo killed Angelfire so you'll have to take my word for it, I suppose.)

To explain, we've got to sidetrack while I tell you about this little known Japanese pornography law back in the 90s. It basically stated (and I'm paraphrasing like whoa here) that it was alright for an underaged-looking character to be in a sexual act if you explicitly state that that character is not actually underaged. Due to the phrasing, the law also made it into anime and manga that wasn't necessarily explicit. As fucked up as Maze is, it's not explicit.

… This series was not marketed toward children, though having a juvenile sense of humor was probably recommended.

So Maze and Mil almost immediately are thrust into danger and adventure. Maze saves Mil, Mil turns into a giant robot, bad guys explode, Maze turns into a lecherous man at night--

--Oh Man Maze. How do you explain Man Maze.

Man Maze is what happens when you put all those lecherous anime grandpas into a young handsome anime man's body. His libido is the genie that's been stuck in a bottle for 10 thousand years. He doesn't take no for an answer and this is supposed to be funny, yes. He can have good intentions when the writing allows it but mostly he's just this on-running gag that's not that funny.

He's what the general public tend to think James T. Kirk is actually like.

Man Maze is literally the reason I tell people not to watch this series.

Along their journeys they meet and gather up an assorted group of RPG player characters: The leather-clad lesbian who flirts with Maze, kicks the most butt, and has a sad backstory (Solude), her best bro and Yu Yu Hakusho bara escapee (Aster), the horny fairy (Randy--yes, it's a pun), the chaste female knight with a tragic past who doesn't belong with these assholes (Rapier--yes, pun), a lecherous grandpa wizard (Woll), a transgirl who hits on men often (Ranchiki), and this asshole king who refuses to run his kingdom (Gold). In fact, most of these people either hit on Maze, or get hit on by Man Maze.

There are also the bad guy brothers, Gorgeous and Chic, who are my favorite just because their names are puns and Gorgeous looks like Sephiroth from FF7.

He just wanted to be beautiful, guys.

And you'd look at that line up and think, wow, it can't be that bad! Look at all that representation!

… Until you realize there's not really a plot until around episode 20-ish because the GM is drunk; it's just a bunch of random side adventures and I'm sort of surprised none of them bought a pub somewhere along the way.

But it turns out it was all about incest the whole time.

(... Sidenote #526: I watched one episode of Penguindrum, got to the end, and closed the browser tab so fast. NOT AGAIN, IKUHARA. NOT AGAIN.)

So the Mazes (Mei and Akira--it's also a pun, though a Japanese one) have come from Earth because, as brother and sister, they wouldn't be allowed to be together. So they wished really hard to live in a world where they could. Some mystical being took their wish very literally and they came to Mil's world--together. Literally. Sharing a body.

In the end, they have the choice between returning to their world (Earth) as separate beings again, or staying in Mil's world, where they can (literally) be together forever and protect Mil. They chose Mil. It's a mostly fulfilling ending to a series that is mostly based run-on gags and puns.

But you could also just watch Slayers instead.

Why Did You Like This Series?

Oh yes--all the denigrating talk is actually coming from a place of love! (Much like I talk about Star Wars.) A part of me still loves this series. (The part of me that's a fifteen year old boy.) But I'm not going to deny what it is, which is… not very good.

If anything, watch the OVA. (Preferably with understanding friends and liquor.) It still has all the "humor" with Man Maze but it has a more condensed, smoother plot, and a lot of the gags that don't involve Man Maze have much better comedic timing. There's this really good gag where the gang are suddenly in a game show answering quiz questions, but all the questions are about the anime itself, and just entirely breaks the fourth wall. I wish both the OVA and anime had had more of that.

In conclusion, Maze isn't going to make anyone's top 10 list, and there's a reason this series has all but been forgotten to the ages. Let it die with me. Bury me with the last DVD set and just forget it ever happened.

Though before I depart from this mortal coil, I'd like it to be noted that, despite what an anime reviewer is claiming on youtube right now, Maze is not just a two episode anime. It is a: two episode ova, 26 episode series, movie, light novels, and a manga. (Yes, that's what I wrote this.)

Finally, I bid you adieu.