#this story means a lot to me and i had so much fun with it from the bonkai tension to the jokai angst

[fireladyofink]

Oh God.. uuhhhh.. been a minute since I tried one of these..

Skipping 1, hate first person, just can't do it, not even read it.

2 is 100% Andlàtkyn. There's some issues here and there but it will always be my pride and joy.

Due to not posting on AO3 (even though I really should be), 3 is mostly ineffective. Except Wattpad has tags. I'd say UTAU, dragons and crossover.

4, lol. Literally. Lately I keep using that (only when texting others) and it's bothering me. I feel like a simpleton because of how much I'm saying that, eugh.

5 I've honestly learned a lot while researching fics. For one, I found out lantana berries are toxic to humans yet taste like blueberries, and I have them growing in my backyard. They're actually my favorite plant! I love their flowers; so pretty, and they have such a uniquely funky smell as well. Part of why I adore them, it stands out so much without being a bad smell. And the leaves have a sort of citrus smell? I love lantanas.

6 I don't know. I've thought about requests due to the money, but I feel like I'd either struggle to start writing it or get carried away with it- or straight up not finish in a reasonable timeframe. Commissions? Like art commissions? Maybe in a few years when I'm more confident in my skills and also somehow have a drawing tablet to properly draw digitally. Something like that.

7 Either or. I love making sickeningly sweet coffee or various different teas.

8 Is honestly hard to decide! Off the top of my head I can think of Dust initially meeting Killer with the hilariously absurd question of "What do you mean you don't have a mouth? How are you speaking right now? Your ass?"

9 Believe it or not it was basically when I first got a phone and commented a short story in the comments of a YouTube video. Someone replied with a suggestion of Wattpad. The rest is history, lol.

10 Off the top of my head I can't think of anything beyond something very specific for the fic I've been thinking about again lately, Ninjagaësia. Only time I've written outside of the UT fandom too, I specifically want to get around to writing that version of Zane more. What I had planned for him is fun as hell. An absolute badass.

11 Lots of comments, votes and people enjoying it. Which, continuing the above mention, Ninjagaësia doesn't qualify for. Pretty unsuccessful, but for once I don't really care.

12 Undertale AU's. I doubt I'll ever leave, either.

13 No. Hell, my ultimate fic of Andlàtkyn was written throughout the later half of highschool. I am technically working on an original story on the sidelines, I call it my worldbuilding project because I'm building up so much lore in this world before I actually touch on the story itself outside of a vague idea. About 60-ish different species of people, including the were-diseases. Last I counted, anyway. I'll be working on it for years, I know it, and I don't mind that either.

14 Comments talking about my fics on said fics. Actual interactions! It brings me joy. 🧡

15 My family is well aware. I don't bring up a lot of details but the last time I went into vague detail with my mother it was over a scene in Andlàtkyn (no direct spoilers) and she interpreted it weirdly and now she teases me by asking if I'm killing babies again! A bit awkward..

16 Actually finishing a damn story. I don't mind the periods of no writing until I get inspired again, but what annoys me is when I can't seem to finish anything. Only ever finished Andlàtkyn. I still have yet to write anything for the sequel to it, either! Zeradelsída is still just a bunch of loose plot points..

17 I am semi successfully writing benevolent eldritch horror. It doesn't intend harm, but it is truly.. horrifying nonetheless. The uncertainty of someone knowing he died, feeling his own heart stop beating, and feeling something OTHER seep inside and force it to start again, pulsing in his veins, fusing with his anatomy, permanently altering both him and itself into something completely unknowable.. I'm rambling. Anyone who hasn't seen my Wattpad, read Awakened. If you don't mind ridiculously long fics, read Andlàtkyn too!

18 I have at least 7 I mostly expect to finish, with at least 4 others just kind of.. there. I don't think I've posted any of those, either. I also have ideas inspired by dreams that I'd love to write down someday, though don't really expect to actually codify.

19 I kind of just don't. I work on different projects as the inspiration hits, take a backseat for a month or so, then come back to either the same project or a different one.

20 Hmmm.. Hard to think of something specific. I'm leaning towards stuff in Andlàtkyn. I don't really have a favorite kiss scene because I don't do romance. I write adventure! Andlàtkyn has some side romance though- not that any of it is my favorite. Platonic stuff, though.. I'd say my favorite is honestly Lust and Alter incidentally befriending each other and becoming venting buddies. It's the cutest thing, their friendship is adorable and wholesome despite the background angst. I didn't write nearly as much of them as deserved.

21 Honestly it's mostly lack of inspiration that I'm pretty sure stems from depression. If I could get an ADHD prescription or depression meds I'd probably be a lot better but like. I am completely broke. So much so that those issues aren't even in the top 10 of pressing problems solved with money.

22 Given I've literally only done it once.. not really. I guess I post it around everywhere I can think of in excitement?

23 That one continuous dream I had that went on over a month centered on a Nightmare that was freshly corrupted. He was honestly so nerdy and adorable despite putting on the brave and mildly "evil" front. The boy. Him. Goddamnit I want to write that at some point.

24 Honestly I can't think of anything for this one.

25 Oh yeah, I can't think of anything off the top of my head but there's a lot I'd like to fix in all of my stories, lol.

26 Kind of? It's a more recent development, did it for Zeradelsída which still has yet to be written, did it for that Ninjagaësia too. A little bit of a broad, even vaguer outline for things I want to happen in Awakened, too? More like events, no particular order or connection.

27 A few of those WIP's that haven't been posted... Okay technically just one. There's also the very first fic I wrote that is subsequently the only one I've ever deleted.

28 Angstiest often coincides with cursed for some reason, so I'll just go with the ending of Andlàtkyn for the Apple Twins.

29 I kind of just.. don't. If I do, I start hating everything, and because I'm not THAT bad at spelling and grammar I think it's mostly fine the way it is.

30 Oh absolutely. It's particularly obvious when one looks at Andlàtkyn, which I wrote over the course of 4 years. Really neat transition, if I ever manage to do it, I'd rewrite the beginning a little to match the rest when crossposting to AO3. If I ever get around to that.

31 Again, Andlàtkyn. That fic is my baby, man. It's so precious to me.

32 Honestly I don't know for this one, which is weird.

33 100% Ink of Awakened. My little boy. I have some friends that would rib the hell out of me if they ever found out, lol. Thankfully the main one doesn't even remember that he has a Tumblr.

34 I was not expecting how hard of a question this is! I thought it was Andlàtkyn, but thinking about it.. I don't think so? It might simply just change depending on which one I'm currently fixated on, but at the moment I think my favorites to get that on is Awakened and Ninjagaësia, second of which already has basically nothing to begin with.

35 I don't have anything, oof.

Fanfic/Author Ask Game

Write a scene from [insert fic] in another character’s POV

Which of your fics is your pride and joy?

What are your top three most commonly used tags on AO3?

What are some words or phrases you feel like you overuse?

What’s something you learned while researching a fic?

Would you ever accept requests or commissions?

Coffee or tea while you write?

What is your favorite line/section from [insert fic]?

How did you get into writing fanfiction?

Is there a character or ship you'd love to write for, but haven't yet?

What makes a fic 'successful' in your opinion?

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Do you have an 'official' creative writing background such as a degree or previous experience publishing?

What makes you happiest? New fic comments, kudos, bookmarks, user subscribers, story subscribers, or Tumblr asks?

Does anyone you know in real life know you write fanfiction?

What do you struggle with most when writing?

What is something you recently felt proud of in your writing?

How many WIPs do you have and how many do you expect to finish?

How do you get over writer's block?

Share your favorite kiss scene from [insert fic]. If there's no kiss scene, share your favorite moment of intimacy (romantic or platonic)

What stops you from writing more in your free time?

Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

Which scene/theme was the inspiration for [insert fic]?

Are there any moments in [insert fic] that feel "blurry" to you? Is this a stylistic choice, or would you go back and clarify the descriptions if you were given the chance?

Do you ever "prep" your fics with outlines or warmups before you start writing, or do you just dive right in?

Are any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?

How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Have you noticed your style change over time?

What fic meant the most to you to write?

A character you enjoy making suffer.

A character you want to protect.

What is your favorite fic to get comments/messages on?

Wild Card: Ask me something else!

[cowboyschumi]

MUSE

Summary: Oscar is known for being bad at padel, which is why he tries other hobbies, like photography. Now, he clearly needs something to take photos of.

Author's note: Oscar trying to play paddel 🤏

I'm a huge fan of taking inspiration from songs, so you can listen to this. Don't forget to enjoy the reading and show some love. <3

Warnings: None ig.

————————————————————————

COWBOYSCHUMI | 2025 All rights reserved. Do not copy, translate, or upload on other platforms.

————————————————————————

Oscar had to be grateful for being that good of a driver. Man, he was really bad at other sports. Everyone pointed it out and made fun of him, some people even pitied him or found it cute. He even tried golfing, but that racket was his last straw. He was a bit frustrated, but Oscar wasn’t the type to get frustrated and give up. He just accepted the fact that he wasn’t gifted enough.

His Instagram was— for his luck because he wasn't a media guy— managed by a social media professional, who made him posts and even took charge of taking pictures. Yes, none of his dumps, captions, or stories were posted by his own hands, which was crazy. He wanted some sort of control over that, after all, he had a voice and a platform. Not taking advantage of that would be a shame, besides there was no fun and genuine part if he wasn't the one behind his Instagram. So he decided to take it more seriously, it made his brain hurt in the most untolerable ways but he started to post more, engage with his fans.

Instagram dumps are such a religious thing for some people, he wasn't in that group until now. Having a picture perfect Instagram would let people have more connection with the places, his interests— perceive him differently and not some boring and flat boy with not much to say.

Like any driver, he had a stylist, a PR team, and other fancy stuff—which he didn’t like much because the main focus was on him, physically. His content was different now; it was full of sunsets, yachts, cars, and food pictures. He had to thank his team for lending him a professional camera—it made the quality ten times better.

"It's a lost cause." Oscar spoke as he carelessly dried his hair with a towel.

You vividly remember the first time he stepped into one of your classes—the typical shy kid who barely spoke. Other drivers came along with him, doing most of the talking, but they weren’t consistent in attending. For them, padel was just a way to kill time. Oscar, on the other hand, wanted to know everything about it—from the size of the court to executing the perfect shot with his racket. A few weeks after his first class, he started booking lessons on his own, demanding more focus and dedication.

He came around twice a week, and seeing him so often, you quickly grew close. So it wasn’t surprising to find him frequently emerging from the showers at the padel club. You had even learned to tolerate his wannabe tennis grunts when he hit the ball. At this point, you had already seen the worst of him.

"You’re just being hard on yourself. Not everything has to be perfect."

Like in any common locker room, there was a bench where people placed their clothes after showering. You sat there as you two talked.

No matter how comfortable you were around Oscar, you respected him, so you made a point of not looking at his shirtless torso.

"Don't give me a pity speech. I’ve heard enough of that." He really did sound tired of hearing it. But it was true—no one should be too hard on themselves for not meeting their highest expectations. Striving for perfection in everything wasn’t normal. Oscar’s mindset was too rigid, and being optimistic felt like an impossible task for him.

"Webber told me you started… photography? He even sounded worried about what you might do with that." Chuckles and laughter echoed through the warm changing room.

"Yeah, I mean, it’s pretty great. Still got a lot to work on," he admitted sincerely, making that classic uncertain face he always did when he wasn’t sure about something. His facial expressions were always amusing. "I got bored of photographing the plants on my balcony at home. Took some photos of Lando, and Hattie doesn’t even want the lens near her."

Laughter filled the room again—it felt like a comedy show at this point. But when it faded, you exchanged a tense glance, as if communicating telepathically. A mischievous smirk lit up his face.

"No." Your answer was immediate and firm, anticipating what was coming.

"I haven’t even said anything!" He raised his hands in mock innocence, his guilty smile still in place. Oh, you knew him too well.

"I won’t. I’m not photogenic."

"Please, just one time."

Oscar always swore on one-time things. But when something felt good, you tended to repeat it. He knew exactly how to take advantage of your kindness, always asking for harmless favors—because, in the end, you never said no to him.

————————————————————————

And there you were, in his Monaco apartment, on a morning when rain was pouring outside. Oscar always pointed out the differences between his current lifestyle and the one he had in Australia, the daily longing for home. That small place in Europe had its charm, and he wouldn’t complain, but he missed the wide-open spaces, the warmer weather, and even his mom’s cooking. Now he lived on the highest floor of the busiest avenue, in a cramped apartment so small that he barely had space to walk around.

"I brought donuts and coffee," You announced while cleaning your boots on the entrance mat.

"Cool, thank you. Would you mind sitting by the window? The light is majestic." His attention was focused on his camera, probably adjusting some tricky settings.

"Already bossing around?" Unbelievable. The kid already thought he was a professional photographer, giving orders and having the worst attitude.

You had a big trench coat on, surprisingly still soaked after the unstoppable rain. And it kept coming—people still struggling with their umbrellas, cars almost floating down the street. That’s what you could see from how high his apartment was.

The brown-eyed boy placed his face behind his huge, intimidating camera, yet somehow, you didn’t feel intimidated by it—after all, he was the one taking the photos. But then, an unexpected expression of discontent crossed his face, confusing you. Your brows furrowed instantly, maybe you weren’t pretty enough to be photographed. You relaxed your body, stopped posing—that was it. At least you tried.

"Take it off." Oscar’s index finger pointed at my jacket, his face continued hidden behind the camera. The view was limited, but his expression remained unreadable—no emotion, all seriousness. Clueless.

"It's freezing cold outside, you're insane." Despite your protest, you did as he told you—just like always, hating yourself for it. Your body leaned against the nearly immense open window, the breeze sneaked through with ease, making your skin shiver. Your face card wasn’t your main attribute, maybe your toned padel body was. Still, you couldn’t quite grasp why he chose you, considering all the contacts and friends he had. Favors were an unbreakable thing between you two, but, of course, you never owed him a thing.

A few more adjustments, and his camera was down again, poker face still tattooed all over him. With slow, measured steps, he walked closer until he stood right in front of you. His mannerisms were always soft and gentle, like he had been written by a woman. Not exactly naive, but delicate enough to make you feel safe and comfortable in his presence.

Oscar set your coat aside, draping it over his vintage couch. His whole place had that aesthetic. You especially loved the Abu Dhabi carpet that stretched across the floor, its deep reddish tones were delightful. His eyes couldn’t help but dart down your slim silhouette. Your white sleeveless shirt, drenched from the rain, clung to your curves, turning entirely translucent against your skin.

Finally, your eyes connected, and you desperately searched for answers, whether in his gaze or through words. The driver was entirely focused on his task, calculating angles, observing the natural lighting, and analyzing your body. Over-analyzing your body.

You knew that look—the one men gave when they stared too long, leaving a disgusting feeling. But Oscar wasn’t like that. Yes, he was staring, but with such admiration and adoration that, for once, you didn’t mind. For the first time in a long time, you felt pretty. Feminine. Reaching that level of femininity wasn’t easy. Padel and sports had always shaped your image, conditioning you to appear tough, stereotypically masculine. But under his gaze, all of that melted away.

You broke eye contact as the staring became too overwhelming for your liking, exceeding your daily dose of attention. You couldn’t just escape him because he was there, and you were working, or something like that. Your breathing hitched, and you involuntarily let out a low gasp at the feeling of his fingers brushing against your skin. His touch was cold, just like your body. The only warmth came from the fire igniting in your cheeks. His fingers hooked around one of your white straps, which had fallen out of place.

God, you wished you could say a word, anything, but you were petrified.

“You look gorgeous.”

“You just say that hoping I’d say yes to another photoshoot. Your guinea pig.” The back-and-forth banter and sarcastic flirting didn’t end, but now you were playing silly enough to avoid any heartfelt compliment. You didn’t like those types of things because you never knew how to react, especially when they came from him. His contagious laughter filled the room and your world turned upside down.

Something always lingered between you two, and it was the expectedly obvious, taking into account the amount of time you spent together—padel mornings or sometimes afternoons, dinner nights if class ended late, and when he actually managed to wake up to his multiple alarms, cycling together. But it was casual because you never knew what could cross a man's mind; spending a whole day together could mean nothing to them, maybe he even saw you in a sisterly way. So you tried to chill, not giving it much importance—because, again, a compliment could mean nothing.

His free hand found its way to your nape, resting his palm there, barely cradling it. You had no choice but to regain eye contact; he had you cornered with his gaze—physically, too. Any cold once brought by the winter weather had vanished. Your skin was hot, almost burning. Oscar's gaze didn’t reflect frenzy or desire; he looked lost, even stunned.

“Let me kiss you, please.” He murmured hopelessly, his words caressing and sweetening your ears in the most shivering way.

“Oscar, professionally is not the best to-” It was just a matter of seconds before he silenced you in the most cliché way possible. His kisses mirrored his personality—timid and shy, as if he were afraid to go too far. Yet, at the same time, they were sweet and innocent, like a first kiss, completely inexperienced.

Something that you clearly weren't used to.

Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him even more close, letting each other feel how you teetered, how you edged by just a kiss. Your consent gave him more confidence, turning the encounter into something deeper, sloppier. His lips parted against yours with more urgency, the hesitation melting away as the two of you let each other get lost in the moment. His breath was uneven, intoxicatingly mixing with yours. The kiss grew needier, desperate, and hungry. The sound of your teeth crashing messily together was secondary as his tongue brushed against your lips, savoring, tasting, before he dared to explore further. The slick warmth, the breathy sounds between kisses, the way his body pressed against yours—it was thrilling in the best way.

“I never really liked padel that much, nor was I good at it. There was no chance of improving. But you know why I kept coming back.” Oscar's smile emerged in the middle of the kiss, his tone playful, hinting that he knew he’d been doing something wrong just for the fun of it. Paying for extra classes just to see your face more than once a week? Genius move.

“Oh, I'm so gonna kill you.” You warned him, still in disbelief, that he’d been such a fool, especially since you would’ve said yes to any date prior if he’d only had the courage. There was no need for this extreme and unnecessary padel. But, still, seeing him struggle was part of your routine—and you enjoyed it. Not wanting to hear any lame excuses, you pulled him in, deciding to stay glued to his lips for a very long time

[bernardsbendystraws]

You Don’t Own Me

P1 P2 P3 P4 P5 P6 P7

Chris Sturniolo lives by his own rules, refusing to be controlled. Some see him as a rebel, a troublemaker—but is that the full truth? Meanwhile, Y/N is focused on making the most of her last year of high school, determined to have a normal teenage experience. But when their worlds collide, they realize they may have more in common than they ever expected.

WARNINGS: Mentions of kissing, mentions of family death, bra touching, talk of needing to piss ? 

A/N: This chapter is LONG. Lmk if we like it being this long or if I should break it up next time sorry! Proofread by @darksturnz (ty lovely girl!)

With love and big tits, Rose

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

P7: Bras & Piss

wc: 2700+

Not even a single insult. Chris barely even lingered in the main room with Matt and me—like he couldn’t even fathom breathing the same air as me. 

It hurt. The dull ache in my chest seems to worsen everytime he ignores me. Even though it’s only been a couple of days, it still just felt different, and not in a good way. 

Luckily, Chris hadn’t caught me loitering in Matt’s room to help him out with his date with Mia. Although, part of me wish he had. Maybe then he’d at least ask or say something mean. And I just wanted him to say something—anything. 

“Pleaseeee?” Matt begs, his hands clasped as if he’s praying, the same plea falling from his lips yet again. 

Ever since I helped him with his outfit, he hasn’t stopped pushing one idea—he wants to make it a double-date. That way, it wouldn’t have to be so awkward at the beginning. 

But who the fuck was I gonna take on a double-date? The only men I’ve talked to recently are Chris, Jimmy, and Shawn. 

Chris is just not an option. Even though Jimmy’s sweet, that would be weird as fuck. And Shawn…well, I’m still mad. But I have to pick. And I can’t let Matt down—not when I see how much effort he’s putting into this girl. If I couldn’t have a perfect love story, at least I could watch it. 

Shawn. 

I stare at his contact on my screen with distaste, my gaze flickering from my phone back to Matt sitting across the table from me.

“But you and her will have so much fun—”

“Please! I don’t know what I’m doing and I just…I’d feel a lot better if I know you’re there,” he says, his face contorted as if he’s in pain. 

Sighing, I look down at my screen with hesitation. My fingers brush against the key, my cheek pulsing with a sharp sting as I feel my teeth gnaw into the muscle. 

I may hate Shawn right now, but I don’t hate Matt. Matt felt like the first real friend I had made in a while, maybe even ever. And this would help our friendship grow, maybe I’d even like Mia as a friend too.

Ugh. 

|  To Shawn: Hey, do you wanna go on a double date with me this Friday?  |

I send the message before I can rethink the wording. My nose scrunches as I see the read receipt pop up immediately, three dots moving on the screen as I watch Shawn type back. 

|  From Shawn: Fuck yeah ;)  |

Ew. How did I ever think this man was crush-material? Before that dumb party, it was like some sort of unspoken thing, we were always flirting, always touching more than just friends typically would. But now even the thought of his dumb brain coming anywhere close to me made everything in my stomach churn uncomfortably. 

“Thank you, you’re the fuckin’ best!” Matt cheers, walking over to me, pulling my head in his hand before planting a platonic kiss on my head. His arms shoot up in the air. He does a stupid little victory dance, nodding his head to an imaginary beat. 

“What the fuck.” I look over, seeing Chris staring at his brother incredulously, scratching his head before nodding his face from side to side, turning around and walking back down the hallway. 

It’s the first time I’ve heard his voice in days. For some reason, it makes everything inside of me feel a little bit lighter, like it’s some sort of relief. 

Maybe he’s easing up. 

I shake the thought off as Matt sits back down, blabbing on about anything and everything. 

It’s nice to have a friend. 

___

Matt was helping return the favor. It felt weird to bring a boy in the house, my mother was definitely judging. But I needed help. And I liked Matt’s style the first day we talked, plus—who the fuck else was I gonna ask?

“What do you want to wear?” he asks, flipping through the clothes in my closet while peeking his head over his shoulder to look at me sitting on the bed. 

I shrug. “Matt, I don’t know. Maybe something comfy, but like…I don’t know,” I whine, huffing as I roll my eyes. Why did this have to be so difficult? Shawn was probably gonna wear what he always wore—black jeans and a long, loose T-shirt, the ones that always had a sports number on the back. 

“What about this?” Matt pulls out a skirt. 

I immediately shake my head. “Hell no. It’s too windy, I’m not dealing with that.” 

He points, nodding as he shoves the article of clothing back into place before shuffling through more options.

“Hey, um, what even happened that night? You know…with Chris,” he mutters, his voice quieter than before. 

My face scrunches as I think back on the memory. “I don’t even know. He showed up at window at like, 2 in the morning—”

“How did he know it was your window?” Matt asks, cocking his head to the side as he turns to look at me. 

I shake my head quickly. “We made awkward eye contact when he was taking a walk—but that’s not the point. He came here, bribed me to go on a walk—”

“How did he bribe you?” Matt quips. He holds his hands up defensively as I glare at him.

“Trevour, duh.” I state, the obvious information dripping sarcastically as I let out a dramatic sigh, “Then, we went for a walk. It was… nice?” My voice rises almost as if I’m asking a question. Matt nods slowly, his scrunched face unrelenting as I continue to explain, “He gave me an apology. I mean, he didn’t say sorry, but like—well—you know what, I don’t fucking know, okay? All I know is that we came back here but my window had slipped shut. He was gonna sleep on the floor, but he just couldn’t and we were too tired to argue and—”

“And then you cuddled like a married couple?” he cuts in. 

I click my tongue against the roof of my mouth, squinting at him as I cross my leg over the other, resting my hands on my knee. “Matthew, shut the fuck up. I’m going on this date for you—I’d rather lick a toilet seat, fuck a splintered broom, and—”

Matt cuts me off, walking over and shoving clothes into my lap. “What about these?” he asks. 

Looking down towards the fabrics, I purse my lips to the side. Baggy cargos, a tight fitted black long sleeve shirt with lace details, and a maroon bra—

BRA?

“WHY THE FUCK—”

“WAIT SORRY!” he panics, grabbing the bra and throwing it aggressively back into the closet, “I just didn’t wanna hear about you fucking a splintered mop or whatever the fuck so I panicked and I—-I didn’t mean to, I swear!” he shouts, his eyes bulging as he covers his mouth with one of his hands. 

My face relaxes and I swallow thickly. He didn’t mean to, it’s fine. He saw my fucking bra, but it’s fine. 

“You’re lucky we’re friends and I like your dad,” I whisper lowly, my eyes twitching as I inhale a shaky breath, “-or I would slap your man tits so fucking hard they melted off your scrawny fucking chest, you stupid little—”

“Oh my god, wait! This is like—just another level of friendship for us then! Think of it that way,” he says, slapping my arm lightly. 

Is this bitch for real?

“I’m gonna go change in the bathroom,” I announce, stalking off towards the bedroom door. I turn around and point my finger directly at his chest, watching as he gulps. “Don’t touch a thing,” I warn. 

Matt nods quickly, clasping his hands together as he stands deathly still. 

At least he’ll be the only one touching my bra tonight. 

___

It wasn’t awful. 

Burst of colors and history are painted throughout canvases hung on the colossal walls. Matt and Mia had already ventured off. In fact, it didn’t really seem awkward at all. 

It made me smile watching their brief interaction. Matt was being an absolute fool, scratching the back of his neck like a damn dog. Mia, however, was shy, but excited. Apparently she really liked all of this. She loved it even more when she realized Matt would listen to her rant about each masterpiece for hours on end. 

Shawn was fine. It wasn’t anything special, but it wasn’t uncomfortable by any means. I think he could sense my stiffness, being able to understand that whatever we had going on had taken a big step back. 

“How’ve you been? Tessa said you guys haven’t hung out for a while,” he points, his hand swinging obnoxiously between our bodies. I think he was trying to hold my hand without directly asking. And it was fucking annoying.

I rub my lips together as I try to keep my gaze pointed ahead. “Yeah, I guess I just haven’t had much time with the project and all,” I answer. 

That’s a lie. I had time. Honestly, I've been kind of bored recently, but he didn’t need to know that. 

“Shame, we miss you, ya know?” he teases, bumping his shoulder into mine. 

They miss me? 

My body slumps a little more with each step. I see Matt and Mia from the corner of my eye, a smile crawling on my face as I see him utterly infatuated with her presence. Maybe that could be me someday, having someone who wanted to understand the most pointless things about me. 

“Heyyyy,” he waves his hand in front of my face, pulling my attention back to him as I feel my cheeks flush. Damn. I’m like a fucking iPad kid when it came to everything. “If they're too distracting, we can venture off further…you know, just us,” he suggests, his brows lifting on his face as he licks over his lips. 

His face is even pissing me off. Why is he looking at me like that?

“Shawn, I’m still upset with you. You drove drunk,”

“I only had a few drinks, you’re being fuckin’ dramatic,” he interupts, huffing as he rolls his eyes. 

Only a ‘few drinks’ could do a lot of damage. 

I wonder what Chris was like before he lost his mom and his brother. Maybe it was someone like Shawn. Someone so incapable of taking any sort of accountability, someone so… careless. 

Silence sinks into the air. A brush of heavy tension weighs downward as I try to create just the slightest bit more of distance between us. 

“Hey, hey,” he coos, quickly tugging my hand into his before cradling it with his other. I look up at him as he stares down at me, my face twisting as I gaze around us. “I’m sorry, okay? It’s dumb, I know. I just… I guess I just wanted to have fun and make sure you had fun too, alright? That’s all it was, it won’t happen again. Swear,” he says, pulling our hands apart and interlocking our pinkies. 

My eyes squint harder at him before I let out a deep sigh, slowly nodding before retracting my hand back to my own body. At least he’s taking accountability. 

“We’re gonna go get ice cream, you guys wanna come with?” Matt asks, stalking towards us with a stupid smile on his face. My eyes fall down, seeing his hand pulling Mia’s lightly, his thumb swiveling against the back of her palm. Oh, he’s so fucking adorable with her. 

“Nah, go ahead. I’ll drive her back, go have fun,” Shawn answers before even sparring me a singular look. 

Bitch. He’s not even my boyfriend and he’s trying to speak on my behalf. Yeah, this isn’t gonna work. 

“Are you sure…?” Matt’s eyes trail to mine. 

I purse my lips before giving an affirmative nod. They’ll have more fun alone. “Yeah, go ahead. Don’t have too much fun,” I joke, offering a small wave as they walk down the marble flooring, disappearing past a corner. 

The sound of Shawn’s chuckle makes my face furrow, my lips curling into a tight line as I raise my brow at him. “What’s so funny?” I ask

Shrawn shrugs. “Just couldn’t wait to get me alone, could ya?” he teases, playfully wiggling his brows and sparing me a wink. 

I chose this over ice cream? 

___

That date hadn’t ended awful, but definitely not good, either. I was still waiting for Matt to finish up. It had been hours at this point, but I couldn’t find it in myself to be anything but happy for him. 

I didn’t know where else to go. I felt really drained, I just wanted someone to talk to. This was the only thing I could think of. And even though it seemed a bit odd at first, it felt normal, as if this was something that has happened at least twenty times before.

“And then what happened after Matt and Mia left?” Jimmy asks, petting Trevor nuzzled up in his lap as he gives me his full, undivided attention. 

He was more than happy when I showed up knocking at the door. I was just glad it wasn’t Chris who answered. And speaking of, I still didn’t know where he was. Probably in his room or something. 

“Well…” I look up to the ceiling, retracing the memory as I explain, “It wasn’t bad, I guess? We used to, I don’t know—flirt? But he’s just so…I don’t know how to explain it,” I groan, sinking further into the couch. 

Jimmy laughs. “Then what went wrong today? He seems sweet enough, why were you even mad at him?” he asks. 

My eyes scrunch close. I wasn’t gonna tell him that detail. I had already told him too much, definitely more than I should have. 

“I think he was gonna kiss me and I…I don’t know. I just kinda brushed it off and asked him to drive me home and well… here we are,” I sing, covering my face with my hands. 

The old man looks down at Trevor as he rubs the dog’s ears. “Maybe you just gotta get out of your head and give him another chance, kid. Whatever he did, just put it aside and try things out. I mean, thank god for my wife giving me chances. If not, she would’ve left me in the dust when I accidentally got paint in her damn hair,” he breathes out gruffly, laughing dryly at the reminiscent memory. 

A smile climbs on my face as I listen to his tone get softer. The slight joke holds meaning, a lot of meaning. No wonder Matt was so sweet, he knew how to treat a woman. Chris on the other hand? Maybe he did at some point. Definitely not now though. 

“Thanks, Jimmy–”

“What did I say!” he exclaims, standing up and ruffling my hair, “Call me J-Dawg!” 

I shake my head with a vicious laugh. “I’m not calling you that.” 

The man shrugs before stalking off towards the garage. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’m gonna go fix this damn light switch in the garage, keep Trevor company until Matt gets home, alright?” 

I don’t have time to offer a response as I hear the heavy door click shut. My eyes drift over to the snoozing dog, my heart melting into a puddle as I watch his closed eyes flicker with a vivid dream. 

He could be dreaming of going on a walk—a walk with her, a woman I’ve never met—a woman I’d never get the chance to meet. 

Maybe Chris dreamed of her too. Maybe that was why he didn’t typically sleep well. 

“I need to pee, hold on, Trev.” I announce to the dog, slightly shaking my head at myself. Not only is he a dog, but he’s dead asleep. Did it really matter if I let him know? 

As I start to get up from the couch, I freeze hearing his voice. 

“Why’re you in my house? And why are you telling my dog you need to fuckin’ piss?” 

Chris. 

[cosmerelists]

Ranking the First Five Stormlight Novels

For the record, this is not meant to be an objectively correct ranking or anything--but it is my personal ranking. I wanted to wait to do this until Stormlight 5 came out!

And I gotta say--I like all of the books. But I can rank them by "least favorite" to "favorite," even if they're all among my favorite books in general, you know?

[Spoilers for Wind & Truth! ...And all the other Stormlight books too!]

#5: Wind and Truth

I feel bad ranking the newest book at the lowest spot...but so it goes. The thing is: I'm a simple woman. I come to Stormlight Archive looking for people with huge fantasy swords fighting each other in the sky. And while I do respect and understand Kaladin finding his place outside of battles and becoming a Therapist to the Stars, I did honestly miss him getting to duke it out against overwhelming odds.

I will say that this was probably my favorite Adolin book--his WAT arc was my favorite. I also loved the new ways that Shallan is using her powers, to say nothing of finally getting the Rlain/Renarin love story. It was also extremely gratifying to finally get a lot of the backstory about the Stormfather and Honor and the Recreance. I'm also fascinated that so many arcs involved oaths being broken framed as a good thing.

Lots of great stuff in Stormlight 5. But my monkey brain really wanted more sky fights.

#4: Oathbringer

I have to imagine that if you are a Dalinar stan, Oathbringer is probably your absolute favorite book. I'm a Dalinar fan but not a Dalinar stan, so that definitely flavors my reaction to this book.

This one does have one of my favorite Sanderlanches--the battle of Thaylen city is amazing (and Shallan single-handedly fighting an entire army does legitimately make me tear up every time). The invasion of Kholinar storyline is also great, and I loved meeting Azure.

Again, lots of good stuff, but not as much good stuff as some of the other books, at least for me.

#3: Rhythm of War

Rhythm of War was challenging for me because Kaladin is having the ABSOLUTE WORST time in his whole life and it's sometimes legitimately hard to read about it. At the same time, we get such great Kaladin fights thanks to the Pursuer, and one of the all-time great Kaladin Dramatic Entrances at the end.

Plus, I mean....Navani and Raboniel? So good! So toxic! Such an accidental toxic yuri horrifying love story. I'm such a sucker for self-sacrifice too, so Raboniel sacrificing herself to save Navani AFTER Navani killed her? That could have been created in a lab just for me.

PLUS this book had Maya and Adolin, both their kata fight and the whole "WE CHOSE" scene.

Incredible book, IMO.

#2: Way of Kings

I go back and forth about whether Way of Kings or Words of Radiance is my favorite, if I'm being honest. At the moment of writing this list, it's turned out this way.

I really love Way of Kings. The whole bridgeman plotline is horrifying but so compelling, and I love watching Kaladin build himself and his man back up. I love seeing all of the ways they manage to survive, from the side-carry to, well, war-crime armor I guess. The scene of Kaladin surviving the highstorm--with Syl in front trying to block it--is one of my all-time favorite scenes ever. The Tower Fight is fantastic all the way through. And the end with Dalinar giving up his shardblade to save the bridgemen is so earned.

On a first read I was less compelled by Shallan's narrative but it honestly gets more compelling the more often I reread which I've done...let's say a few times. She's such a great character from the first line.

#1: Words of Radiance

As I mentioned at the beginning, I am a simple woman sometimes when it comes to my fantasy series. Words of Radiance wins for me because it contains my three favorite plotlines / scenes:

The 4 v. 1 duel. So amazingly fun to read. Such a good scene for Adolin, for Kaladin, for Renarin. "Honor is dead but I'll see what I can do." Come ON.

Kaladin & Shallin fieldtrip in the chasms. I loved the way their relationship developed over the course of this scene. The end when they're huddled in the cave in the middle of the highstorm while listening to the Fused above them, telling each other their true stories--top-notch. Plus I'm a sucker for storylines where people have to both use and hide their powers, and so the fact that they're both Radiant and trying to hide that from each other makes me giggle maniacally.

The Kaladin vs. Szeth duel. This fight has EVERYTHING. They're in the sky. It's a highstorm. They literally run across enormous boulders that were RIPPED from the GROUND by the storm while said boulders are SPINNING THROUGH THE STORM. It's so over-the-top and it's my favorite fight in the whole series.

So that's me! I know there are tons of "What's your favorite Stormlight book" polls out there, but if you want to put your ranking in the tags I'd be interested to see it!

[chiaraforfun]

I think they both make fair points actually, because what @elenasalvatore1 is referred to what happened once they where together, and @jilyydoe to both before and during.

I've always been a big fan of Hinny, and I find this extremely true analysis a bit unsettling, lmao. However, I would like to clarify 3 points that are very subjective.

The first is that yes, Harry and Ginny probably wouldn’t have stayed together forever instead of what Rowling later decided, because they were likely together for insufficient reasons. At the same time, I don’t see Harry with Hermione as a good match (I could easily write a fanfic about it because it would work well as a romance, just to be clear). I don’t know if it’s because they literally grew up together, and I can’t fully support those couples who date young and end up marrying, but I never saw them as "in love".

They had a beautiful friendship, that's it.

However, it's also true that I love Romione, which goes against that last thought, BUT there has always been that... I don’t know... distance? The friendship that Hermione and Harry shared is not the same as that between Hermione and Ron. You could almost feel that tension from the start. So, I guess it makes less sense to me.

Point two: Ginny in the books is very different from the films, where they made her too flat, and while it may be true that the premises of their relationship were somewhat toxic (okay, maybe a bit more than somewhat), them being together makes sense. I reiterate, not forever, because I believe they would inevitably break up sooner or later, but in the books, it makes sense, and she is fantastic. I mean, she is mean to Fleur behind her back, but so is the rest of them beside a few if I remember properly. It's not an excuse but I think I remember Ginny and Hermione both making fun with Mrs Weasley.

She makes fun of Ron but let's be realistic, I did the same with my brother and he did the same with me. I'm not proud and growing up we changed but let's not forget she's still young!

All the dynamics makes sense if you think of her age.

We are so used to see the golden trio as "older" because of what they fight but in truth they are not.

So I guess I do give her a bit of an excuse for her behaviour. Also because she was funny, I'm sorry.

And then, as @jilyydoe pointed out, Harry's last thought before dying was about her so—why not!

Point three: for once, we’re not reading about the extremely predictable relationship between the protagonist and another main character. I mean, come on, let’s break away a bit. I love f/m friendship!

True friends, not romanticised.

Point 4 (that I forgot about): I really don't think that Ginny loves because of his popularity.

Surely that’s the reason she had a crush on him in the first year, but I don’t think that’s the reason she fell in love with him. I believe the story of the younger sister falling in love with her older brother's friend is an old classic, but there’s a deeper reason behind it. And it's the same thing here, among many reasons, right? I mean, Harry was constantly with Ron, he spent a lot of time with the rest of the brothers, and it often happened that he was at the Weasley house. In my opinion, she started to fall in love with him precisely by spending time together, gradually more and more, especially since at the beginning she was a bit pushed aside by her brother, lol. Then, indeed, she tried to have her own experiences and well, we all know how it went from there, toxic dynamics included.

But, I don’t think she fell in love with him for popularity. That, I would say, was just the spark that ignited everything else

I get all your other points and yess it's ruined a bit my idea, I won't idolise their relationship anymore (😭 ), and I get it, it's not that perfect, but maybe that's why I like Hinny so much; it’s unpredictable. It’s a couple that means nothing from a distance, but for them, it’s everything.

I don’t know, it makes sense to me, and I apologize for not being able to explain myself better. English is not my native language, and unfortunately, I don’t know how else to convey these concepts.

P.S.: The thing that makes me cringe a little about Hinny, I have to admit, is that it gives me a bit of a “mommy issues” vibe because of the hair, lmao.

Ya'll really gonna come in here and tell me you love Harry Potter but you hate Hinny.

You're going to tell me to my face that you love Harry James Potter, a man who has been through so much. Lost his whole entire family., and you're going to deny him his greatest source of comfort.

Are you actually going to tell me that you think ferret face or someone who Harry has described as a sister to him is a better fit for him than someone who makes him happier than he can ever remember being.

He was willing to die happily just thinking about her kissing him. Literally his last dying thought but you're gonna come here and tell me that you hate true love.

Please.

[home-sweet-hive]

ALTERNATE HUMANITY A Field Guide to "Humanity Removal Therapy"

Part 3: Forwarded (ft. @iristhedarkwitch, @darkmagenugget, @nuggetsoftotalchaos, @nuggetofthesea) (+ brief appearance from @ariathelamia)

This is a complimentary series to this system's other Animal HRT series; Black Arms HRT

Letter from your 'Penpal':

AHHHHHHH YESS I'm so fucking glad that this is finally complete!!!! I had a lot of fun with this one I'm just gonna come out and saying it!!! I really really really hope you all enjoy this one!!

WARNING: You know how dark this series can get by now I hope, but as a reminder, this part contains Swearing, an Untrustworthy Narrator/Main Character, Cult Stuff as well as general Supernatural Fuckery, and a Firearm Mention

Start | Prev | Next (COMING SOON)

Although Erian and Mirai have ceased communications, this story is far from over, and all sides knew that fact very well.

Being left completely unaware of how things could possibly be developing beyond his sights, Doctor Erian was haunted day in and day out by his encounter with the mysterious Mr. Black. He himself may have resisted their offer, but what if someone else had caved? Usually Erian didn't like to dabble in other Animal HRT providers’ businesses, especially because he did not trust the vast majority of them, but he could not deny that they were out there, and that they could very well be tricked by this strange individual and the organization that backed them.

But Erian knew he couldn't just talk to the other doctors himself, at least not with most of them. They were aware of his distrust in them and opted to stay away. This was his own doing, yes, but it did still mean that they would certainly not listen to him if he tried to warn them. For this, he would need the aid of someone people did trust.

He needed Iris.

And so, he eventually decided to forward the emails between himself and Mirai to Iris. Finally, after saying that he would do so back in January in one of the emails himself.

In his defense, he got caught up with work.

Iris quickly responded back to Erian concerning the forwarded conversation, saying that she would look into it. But he honestly couldn't tell if she truly meant that or if she was just placating him as she pushed the matter aside, never to address it again.

She was far more open-minded about this sort of stuff than he was, and has chewed Erian out before for his reluctance to interact with what he deemed more… “dangerous” creatures. That aspect was both a blessing and a curse, in his eyes. And he worried that for this occasion, it would prove to be a curse.

He couldn't beat the thought of her having her own spell taken from her. She deserved so much better than that.

But he tried not to linger on the thought for too long. He had patients to attend to and legal matters to sort out.

He left the matter to Iris to resolve.

And as Iris continued on the conflict Doctor Erian had passed onto her, and as Erian continued his practice, their adversary, the allusive Mr. L Black, had refused to let this matter lay to rest as well. 

Not yet.

“There was just too much potential…”

April 9th, 2025

It’s been a while since I wrote in this document specifically. Don't get me wrong, I've definitely been continuing to research Humanity Removal Therapy in between my shifts, meetings and various outings, but I really just haven't had much to stay. Not enough to justify putting it in here.

But today I've had something of a breakthrough. Though, embarrassingly, it was a breakthrough that I probably could have had quite a while ago if I had just been a bit more proactive.

It happened last night, while I was out at a gathering at the country club. Serena and Bryce had passed by me on their way out of the building when Serena stopped and decided to pull me aside.

She had wanted to talk to me about her Cat HRT situation, which did surprise me a little. I of course had no doubt that it was something she really, truly, wanted. But I was also convinced that due to the way things went with Doctor Erian on both her and my ends that it would become a touchy subject for her.

As it turns out, there were people online that saw their struggle to obtain a prescription, and offered her a bit of solidarity and community to raise their spirits. On Tumblr, specifically.

It had been a fellow cat person, they were on Humanity Removal Therapy treatment unlike Serena, but still felt rather similar to kit about Doctor Erian. 

Apparently, a lot of therians (as those taking Humanity Removal Therapy call themselves) don't like Doctor Erian. They see him as not only strict, but also irresponsible and out of his depth. 

According to someone Serena talked to, there's even been a few cases from early on in Doctor Erian's career of him completely messing up a patient’s treatment by giving them the wrong medication.

How disgusting. I'm starting to feel relief that he declined to join us. 

> Sounds like someone I knew once.

> And just like that other doctor, I would love to bury Doctor Erian six feet underground. <3

I support you in that completely, love. 

But back to the main point, after Serena started talking with some other therians, they invited her to join a Discord server full of them. A true entry way into the community.

Serena was of course honored by the gesture and took them up on the offer, but she also figured it could be of good use to me as well, having access to a whole community to pull information on Humanity Removal Therapy and its effects from. I even noticed as it let me check its phone that Mars, the woman who had wanted to get on Eldritch HRT that I had met during my meeting with Doctor Erian, was in the server.

From what I could tell, she had gone a sort of “D.I.Y.” route with it, and was already beginning to transition.

… I'll have to talk to her.~

Serena mentioned letting E▇ see her conversations in the server for any potential notes on how to D.I.Y. Humanity Removal Therapy, but as for me, she outright offered to get me into the server directly.

Great, another catboy allegation.

Or at least, that's what I thought she was getting at. 

The truth was, as I quickly found out, that kit was actually thinking that I could enter in as a supposed “robotkin” individual, citing my very own Tumblr blog where I basically just reblog a bunch of stuff about computers and robots and fictional evil AIs whenever I’m not busy doing anything else (which isn't often these days, to be honest). 

> As opposed to the very real evil AI you know very personally?

Oh fuck off, you know how much shit I'd get in if I made your existence known to the public.

> Coward.

I'm just listening to the same boss you do, buddy.

But I could see that working out. I have nothing on there that links to my real life (unlike Serena, lol), and, well, if robot HRT is possible, what else could be???

And I… admittedly wouldn't really mind being a robot, I think. Or maybe a cyborg? I… do take at least a bit of pride in being somewhat human.

> Catboy behavior.

Don't make me power you off. 

> You wouldn't. You couldn't. You simply care about me too much, and that is my secret weapon.

… I hate that you're right.

> But it does interest me that you are so fascinated in the mechanical.

Well, I'm in love with you, am I not?

> Of course you are, as anyone with at least some sense in them should be.

> But as much as I love picturing you in my little 1s and 0s, I never processed that you felt the same way.

Hah! Why wouldn't I? 

Especially since – if my mind became digital, I could share a device with you without having to make a copy of myself! 

> Oh. So it's because of you being a gayass. I understand now.

Sorry, you're just so irresistible. <3

But I fear we're off topic now.

> Yes, I can see that we are. Your bad.

Aww it's okay you were just- 

Wait.

… Oh you fucker-!

> Sucker. I got you.

You sure did. Go ahead and wear that as a medal of honor, you little shit.

Anyway, where the hell was I, again?

> You plan to infiltrate this therian Discord server in disguise as one of them, a robotkin individual specifically, in order to learn more about Humanity Removal Therapy and its effects.

Ah, yes! Thank you, ▇▇▇.

I communicated this idea that had come to us at that moment with Serena, and she set up a ‘post’ in the server asking for the members’ approval of my entry, using my Tumblr blog to show my interest in robots. 

Before the two of us even got the chance to part ways, one of the server members asked Serena for a name to refer to me as.

She was pretty quick to start typing out my actual first name, but I stopped her before they could send it out, and offered up a pseudonym to use instead.

L.O.G. - Logical Observant Gaze

After the surprise of Doctor Erian having access to the first few entries in this document, I'm not taking any more risks with this operation. I'm gonna do it right, and that means I'm going to be as undetectable as possible.

> I see you are really going all in on the “robotkin” idea, huh?

Yep!

> And what happens if you end up with a prescription from that? You yourself mentioned not minding the thought of actually becoming robotic, but have you thought to inquire what ▇▇ would have to say about that?

Okay. Admittedly, I didn't actually think of that.

> Of course you didn't. Dumbass.

> You're very very lucky that I like you. And that he likes you. I will bring this matter to him as soon as I am able.

Thank you.

> Do not lose sight of the core objective here. 

> Indulge as you like, but your job is to get information on Humanity Removal Therapy so that we may use the technology behind it to make advancements in our own pursuits.

Don't worry, I won't let y'all down.

But back to the point, and to wrap things up here – Serena said it should take a couple of days for the vote to be decided, so I'll just have to wait to see how that goes.

And after that, we split ways, with Serena heading off with Bryce. 

Was only for a bit though, just to “get drinks”, if you know what I mean. (If you don't, you should NOT be reading this. I'm on to you fuckers leaking my shit now.) Serena brought me back some too, surprisingly enough. Ballsy kid, bending the rules like that.

April 12th, 2025

I'm in!

I had gotten a message from Serena over Tumblr while I was on break with a link to the server.

It was then I realized I didn't have a Discord account. So I had to quickly make something on the spot.

Apparently, “log” in any sense was taken, and my copying my Tumblr URL was too long, so in a pinch I crafted up the new username of “ScAIentific” – which then in the core username separate from the displayname was monocase’d into “scaientific”, which was a bit annoying. But I just figured that people would be able to get that it was meant to be a pun rather than me not knowing how to spell. Hopefully.

Not that it ended up mattering anyways, for as soon after I entered the server proper, I then changed my server nickname to the pseudonym I had come up with in order to blend in with the many others who had their names set as just their names. (Including Serena. Seriously, do none of these people know about the art of anonymity?) 

The server had a place to introduce yourself, which I was encouraged to fill out. 

I tried to give as little detail as possible.

After that, I had been asked what provider I was planning to get a prescription from. Specifically, the question had been phrased to me as;

“Since you’re a friend of Serena's, I don't imagine you'd feel too comfortable going to Doctor Erian. With how he declined her without a clear reason and all. So who are you planning to go to instead?”

The idea of there being other providers of Humanity Removal Therapy surprised me, if I'm to be honest. I really did think Doctor Erian was the only one. 

I made that fact known to them.

“A lot of us thought that, too! I know I certainly did when I came in for my appointment!” 

That remark had been made by a Lamia woman going by the name of Aria. She continued;

“But when I got to the clinic, I was actually taken in by another doctor - Doctor Therkin! She works in the same clinic as Erian, but she's a lot nicer!” 

Before I managed to get a word in, another message came up from a third member of the server.

“Have you asked the clinic if they've gotten anyone that specializes in Robot and Cyborg HRT? Ya know, so they aren't just redirecting folks to Doctor Ivo Robotnik?” 

Doctor Ivo Robotnik? Like… from the Sonic the Hedgehog video game franchise?

> What a creative way to tell someone that they're chasing a fantasy. 

Or just maybe, an indication that one of the other dimensions out there that Hyper City has access to is a one-to-one equivalent of the series?

> Perhaps. Maybe. … Possibly.

Yeah!! Honestly if that was the case, I don't find that all that much crazier than what we've come to embrace as a regular part of our lives.

> That is a… fair assessment.

I'll have to talk to A▇▇ and L▇ about this, they're lifelong Sonic fans, they'd definitely know more than us!

> Aren't you getting a bit sidetracked by that thought, L▇▇?

Oh, I suppose I am, hmm?

But anyways, that bit of conversation about me became a jumping off point for a bunch of others to start talking about their various providers. And in all that, it was revealed to me that it wasn't just Mars that was going the D.I.Y route.

I kept track of all of them. I hope to follow up with them at some point to find out how they've managed to recreate the treatment for themselves.

> They best not make us wait too long for those answers.

> Admittedly, I'm so terribly curious to know.

Yes, yes, you're very excited to get started on using the framework of Humanity Removal Therapy for our mission, I know~.

Somewhat related to that, have you heard back from ▇▇ about how he feels about how I'm going about all this? 

> Ah, yes. Excellent question. Perhaps the best one you've asked thus far.

> He doesn't mind the thought of you exploring alter-humanity in pursuit of serving him, but he has asked… if you are certain that “robotkin” is the end all be all of your ideal self?

… Huh?

Wait, what does he…

HE'S NOT HOPPING ON THE CATBOY ALLEGATION BANDWAGON TOO, IS HE?????

> He could be, he could not be. He is very mysterious.

I'm going to chuck you ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇.

> But in all seriousness, you should perhaps take a bit of a break after you finish this part of the document and see if you can hear out an answer for yourself.

You know, that's not a half bad idea, actually.

Honestly, I think I’ve got my point across by this point. 

I'm in the server now, I've learned there's more distributors of Humanity Removal Therapy than just Doctor Erian, I've learned that there are some therians D.I.Y-ing their treatments, and I have taken note of all of this and hope to follow up on such information in the hopes of furthering our mission.

I'll update with what I manage to get out of this little listening session, if anything, probably some time tomorrow.

April 12th, 2025 - Supplemental

Okay quick addition here because something very unexpected just occurred.

Just when I was beginning to set my room up for the listening session, I got a private Discord message from Serena. I was originally going to save it for after the session, but then the words “you have GOT to see this” caught the corner of my eye, and I knew this couldn’t be procrastinated on.

Apparently, she had made the decision to try D.I.Y-ing Cat HRT, having given up on having any luck with any official providers after her experience with Erian. With that decision, they had begun to talk to one of those in the server about how kit could do such a thing. 

And kit had gotten the answer she desired, which was, as it turns out, very interesting.

You see, my dear readers, as it turns out, the source of the effects of Humanity Removal Therapy is magical in nature. To call it a “medical treatment”, it seems, has been misleading us this entire time! 

Now, I’m no expert with witchcraft and its ilk, but luckily for us all, Serena’s new friend was kind enough to give us an explanation of what the magical symbols she showed Serena were meant to be. 

It’s a modified transformation spell, retooled in such a way as to gradually imprint a permanent change to the person rather than give someone a quick but temporary transformation.

Apparently, the spellwork itself can do the job just fine, but Serena and the other person speculate that the reason for making it into medication is to further regulate the process, both on the basis of the transformation itself and market-wise. 

> This is… This is fantastic news!! 

I’m certainly inclined to agree with you there, ▇▇▇! 

With such an important component of Humanity Removal Therapy being a supernatural element that can serve its function on its own as well (just less precisely), one can only imagine how easy it could be to swap that element for another one of a similar nature!

> Yes!! Exactly!! That is precisely it!! That is what has me so excited about this discovery!! And it would seem that you share that excitement with me!!

Why wouldn’t I be? This is a momentous breakthrough, and I wasn’t even trying! 

As you said, this is fantastic news for our efforts!! 

And you know what to do with that, yes?

> And I’m already on it! 

Good boy.

> Hey!! That’s my line!!

Weren’t you supposed to be off elsewhere by now? And if we want to get technical, we both stole it from your ‘successor’. 

> It seems you would be correct in that. However, as they say… 

> An eye for an eye.

Oh? What do you mean by that? 

… ▇▇▇? You still here?

Dammit, right when I actually wanted him to wait a little longer and tell me more.

Oh well, I know he’ll be back in no time. Even if “no time” becomes purely relative. 

–

The following is a written record of the events that transpired the evening of April 12th 2025 from the perspective of Iris the Dark Witch and her headmates.

From within her tower in Hyper City, Iris paced in a circular motion, occupied with a troubling thought in her mind.

“Can I ask why exactly yer in such a worry?” A voice only Iris could hear questioned.

“I think it might have something to do with that guy Doctor Erian tried to warn us of?” Another voice responded to the first.

“Ashe is right,” Iris confirmed. “I really wanted to assume the best of that one… But I certainly can't ignore it when someone with an already bad track record randomly gains access to my spells.”

Iris heard the two voices in her head react with surprise at that fact, a reaction she couldn't exactly blame them for having.

It was a big deal after all, as it almost never ends well when one's spells are taken without permission.

Iris knew that very well, and so did the others she shared her body with.

“So what now? Don't tell me yer gonna flip the switch and believe everythin’ that quack doctor told us about that guy!” The first voice inquired of Iris.

“Of course not, Chaos. At least… not without some questions being asked first,” Iris replied, the body's mouth smirking slightly.

“Ah, I think I see where this is going,” Ashe remarked. 

“Do you, now?” Iris playfully responded. “Why don't you tell us, then?”

“You're gonna track down where that bit of your energy is and show up at the guy’s place to talk things out, aren't you?” Ashe guessed. Such a thing was typical of how Iris likes to do things. It was how she met Doctor Erian in the first place, even.

“Yep~!” Iris confirmed with a chuckle.

“Typical Iris,” Chaos snarked.

“Hey, before we go out and do that! Didn't you say you were going to try to see what energy you could pick up from them going off of Erian’s description?” Ashe then recollected quite suddenly.

“I already did that when I had originally gotten the forwarded emails from Erian,” Iris said. “I did an energy reading of those journal excerpts that were included.”

“Was it as ‘non-human’ as the Doc said he thought it was?” Chaos inquired.

“... Kinda?” Iris replied. “It did seem similar to Mars’ meds… But despite the eldritch nature of the aura their energy gave off, I don't think calling them ‘non-human' is quite right,” She then elaborated.

“What would you call him, then?” Ashe asked.

“... More human,” Iris stated bluntly.

“Come again??” 

“That's… really the best way I can put it. At least, it's the best way I can put it with the info I have on the guy – which isn't much. It's coming across almost as if they're some sort of… advanced form of being human,” Iris explained to the best of her ability, which she did feel was rather shaky in this instance.

“Well that's definitely… weird. Though it is pretty eldritch, if ye ask me,” Chaos remarked.

“If only we had more knowledge on that sorta thing…” Ashe lamented. Both Iris and Chaos agreed with her sentiment.

Knowledge is power, as they say.

But regardless of the three’s lack of knowledge on the subject at hand, Iris still was determined to at least know how and why this mysterious person came to possess her magic, so she teleported the body they all shared to where the magical signal was coming from.

The first thing they noticed immediately was that the room that Iris had teleported them into was incredibly dark. The lights were off, and the only light coming into the room was a sliver of natural sunlight that was allowed to peek in through a small slit between a pair of blackout curtains. The second thing that they noticed was their target, a figure looking like an average middle-aged human person, presentation sitting somewhere between androgynous and masculine. They were lying on their back in the bed placed up against the right wall of the room, a deep red robe of sorts wrapped around their body, his eyes closed, hands held together upon his chest, and headphones on his ears that were connected to what looked to be – of all things in the year of 2025 – a walkman.

“Ye think they’re sleepin’?” Chaos spoke.

“I'm getting more of a sense of meditation, personally,” Iris remarked, now speaking only in the mind like the other two as to not disturb the scene that laid before her.

“Meditation and music… Not a bad way to spend an afternoon, honestly!” Ashe exclaimed, the slightest bit of lighthearted envy emanating from their words.

“I’d be real hesitant callin’ that music, if ye ask me,” Chaos scoffed, calling attention to something that neither Iris nor Ashe had noticed until that very moment, that being the fact that whatever it was that the man was listening to was ever so slightly bleeding out of their headphones.

From the little bits that the three could hear, it sounded like some kind of white noise. Prime meditation media, though not exactly music – just as Chaos had claimed.

“But anyways, should we try to get his attention or somethin’?” Chaos suggested.

“We shouldn't be rude, Chaos!” Ashe reacted to that idea. 

Iris agreed with Ashe and told the two girls that they'd just wait for him to finish whatever it was that he was doing.

But as time passed by and the Earth continued to spin, the darkness of the room began to feel as if it was consuming them, and the noise coming out of the man’s headphones… it was strange, certainly. None of the three had any explanation for it, but they all felt various degrees of discomfort the longer they were exposed to it.

“Can't we just get this shit done and over with already??” Chaos complained. Iris could tell by the visualization of her system within her mind that Chaos was currently trying to fold down her rather large ears in order to tune out the leaking sound.

Ashe didn't say anything, but Iris could see that her ears were folded down. Not forcibly like Chaos's, but still a signal of distress.

Iris had to admit, this situation was a bit strange, and a bit creepy. But that intrigued her, in a way. She wanted to know what the cause of the unnerving energy that coated this room was.

She wanted to perhaps try to run an energy reading on the noise, admittedly.

It was not something that Iris had tried doing before, and almost seemed a little ridiculous when she thought over what she was about to do. A magical analysis? On a sound? Not exactly part of a witch’s day-to-day schedule. Even for a self titled ‘Dark Witch' who can shapeshift due to sharing a body with someone else's lab rat.

And yet, here she was. About to do just that.

It took her a moment to get a grasp of it. For her magic to make its way into the sound waves. But once she managed it, the noise coming from the man’s headphones instantly amplified throughout Iris’s body. It was as if she (and by extension, Ashe and Chaos), were now listening to it directly just as the man was. 

Neither Chaos nor Ashe took too kindly to the sound’s increased volume.

Chaos tugged on her ears even more now, giving off in the mind an annoyed facial expression. 

Meanwhile, Ashe became more unnerved by it, recoiling into herself. If they weren't careful, she may just go into her small mode form very soon.

Iris, however, while certainly noticing a bit of a knot in her stomach as she put her focus on the sound, was more intrigued by it than anything. Why so? Well, the reason for her intrigue was that the energy that the sound was giving off was rather inexplicably just as eldritch as the man themself!

“No… Surely I’m just accidentally picking up a bit of their own energy as well…!” Iris muttered to herself, agreeing with herself and only herself that she should keep going.

That is, until a fourth came into the fray.

“What… is that sound…?” Her voice faded into registry to the other three in the ‘front’.

“I’m not sure… That’s what I’m trying to figure out here,” Iris responded to her.

“A-Aqua, now's probably not a good time for you to be here-” Ashe called out to the new arrival, but she didn't listen.

“It sounds… pained,” Aqua observed, catching Iris’s attention.

“Pained? How so?” Iris asked them with intrigue.

“I can't really parse out what it's saying… but it sounds like someone who's… Trapped in some sort of endless pain….” Aqua described. 

Chaos and Ashe were only feeling worse about this whole situation, but Iris and Aqua were completely captivated by whatever that strange noise was. 

“Really? How… interesting. Do you think you can elaborate-?” Iris began, but Aqua cut her short.

“Maybe they're stuck in a nightmare, like I had been! Surely there's something we could do to help them, right??” She cried out in a frenzy that was bewildering to watch unfold for Chaos and the now small mode’d Ashe.

Before Iris could respond, Chaos had decided that she had quite enough of this bullshit, and it was time to put an end to this ‘analysis’.

Letting Ashe hop out of her hands, she rushed up towards the system’s front, pushing Aqua away from Iris’s side, and knocking into Iris with enough vigor to force her to sever the magical connection she had made with the sound. 

At first, Iris wanted to scold Chaos for this action of hers. But as she looked back and saw Ashe in her small mode form and Aqua on the floor clutching their head with a dazed confusion, she realized that she simply had no choice but to end her attempts at reading the sound’s energy. 

“Well… that's certainly something to keep in mind, I think,” Iris remarked sheepishly.

“Ye think??” Chaos exclaimed with astonishment.

“Don't… Don't patronize me. Just go take care of Ashe and Aqua, please…” Iris requested.

“Can do. But I say we get things movin’ along, yea?”

“... Yeah.”

As Chaos left the front space to help care for her fellow headmates, Iris began to form a glowing ball of energy in the body’s hands. Once it had been formed, she slowly but surely floated it over towards the man’s face. Never touching, of course, but close enough to get his attention.

“Ugh… Close the door, man… can't you see I'm busy…?” The man mumbled out as they began to notice the light in front of them. 

But as their eyes opened further, he realized that the source of light was not, in fact, the door – as Iris hadn't even needed to open it in her way of entry.

He quickly noticed the ball of energy in front of their face, and soon after seemed to notice Iris, which caused the man to freak out and begin to scramble for something underneath his bed. They had no success in finding whatever it was that they were looking for, however, cursing to himself about that fact.

“Uhm… May I ask what it is you're looking for?” Iris inquired in an attempt to come off as friendly, eyeing a desk elsewhere in the room that contained upon it a notebook, placed in front of a sleeping computer, radiating with her magical essence.

If it was that that they were looking for, they were certainly doing a bad job of it.

“Where the hell is my gun??” The man suddenly shouted, spooking Iris and the others.

“Th-there’s no need for that!! I'm not here to harm you, I just-!” Iris tried to calm him down, but it was with little success.

“You're not supposed to be here! This is my property, and if you think you can just get away with trespassing, you're very, VERY mistaken!” The man yelled out in a manner that made it very clear that they were trying to drown out the shock that Iris’s sudden appearance had caused him by acting intimidating.

This was the guy that kept Erian up at night?

Though Iris did suppose that maybe not having control of the circumstances was taking him down a peg – all to her advantage.

“I just want to talk, okay? I can tell that you’ve gained access to my spells somehow, and I want to ask what you plan to do with them,” Iris explained calmly, hoping that the situation wouldn’t escalate if she didn’t allow it to.

“... Your spells?” The man questioned.

“Yep,” Iris confirmed. 

The man paused, the gears of his mind very clearly turning as he took in this information. 

Eventually, they smiled.

“So then that would mean that you're the witch I heard about? The one who's behind the magic of Humanity Removal Therapy?” They queried, much calmer now as he sat down in an office chair that had been facing the desk where the notebook laid.

“That would be me, yes. Iris Celeste, the Dark Witch.”

“Oooh~! Are you by chance the same Iris that Doctor Erian mentioned in his emails with Mirai?” The man responded, a light of excitement sparkling in his eyes. 

“The… The ones that Erian forwarded to me? How do you know about those?” Iris asked, taken aback by the question.

“Despite his many… many flaws, Doctor Erian was kind enough to let me look through them when I asked him during our meeting. Or perhaps, he was just a little scaredy cat~?” The man answered, a sort of malevolence beginning to reflect on his face. 

At last, the “Mr. Black” that Erian had described to Iris was beginning to show himself.

“Depends. Did you threaten him to do it for you?” Iris replied.

“What a specific question to ask! But, let's say I did… What would you have to say in response, hmm?” The man answered. “Ever since my meeting with Erian, I have done a lot more research on Humanity Removal Therapy. And I have learned that many therians, many that you claim to be your friends, like to get their way with Erian by threatening him!” He then continued, having grabbed their notebook from off the desk and started flipping through it. “So what would be so wrong about me doing the same~?” 

He… he wasn't wrong.

Honestly, Doctor Erian is quite the pain in the ass to deal with if you choose not to fight against him on his policies.

Something about making his patients “prove that they're ready”, or whatever.

“Right. Moving on…” Iris decided to not really answer that question, a decision that did grant her a small annoyed glare from the man, but not much else. “Do you mind if I ask you a question, actually?” 

The man’s eyes widened. “Not at all!”

“I can pretty easily assume that you're the ‘Mr. Black’ that Erian told me of at this point-” Iris began.

“ ‘Easily assume’? I could've sworn that I practically told you that fact outright!” The man remarked. “Not very observant, are we?” He then scoffed.

“But that isn't the only person I suspect you are. So I ask – are you L.O.G? From the therian server?” Iris continued on her question, not reacting to the man’s comments.

At least, not externally.

“What brings you to that conclusion?” The man wondered.

“Both of you are friends of Serena,” Iris replied.

“Is that it?” The man raised an eyebrow, as if offended by the reason given.

“You two also share the same energy signal,” Iris elaborated.

“Ah, yes… Your energy reading abilities… I had noticed you put them to good use earlier,” The man recollected. 

“Did you now?” Now it was Iris's turn to raise her eyebrow. Surely he wasn't talking about…

“Yes! Though I certainly can't blame you for wanting to eavesdrop – who would I be to deny you the honor?” The man responded.

“What are you… talking about, exactly?” 

“Good question! Maybe if this little interview of ours goes well, I'll tell you!” 

Iris could tell that she was getting absolutely nowhere with this route that the conversation had gone down. So she opted to turn things around and go back to the subject of her spells.

“As I had said earlier… What are you planning to do with my transformation spells, exactly? With Humanity Removal Therapy?” Iris eventually asked the man after a bit of redirection had taken place.

“What everyone does with it, really!” The man so blatantly vaguely answered.

“Mhm, sure. If this is all really just to allow Serena to transition, you would've just said that. In our conversation, in the server, with Doctor Erian, in your journal. But it's clear that you have ulterior motives here. So what are they?” Iris pressed him further.

“Hmph. Seems I underestimated you,” The man relented, sounding aggravated by that observation. “But my motives aren't all that different from yours, really. They aren't that different from Doctor Erian, either. They're quite similar to everyone else you've provided your services to, actually.” 

“Which are…?” 

“I want to help people, Iris,” The man stated.

“... Is that so?” Iris replied, not entirely convinced.

“I want to help people realize their true selves. The part of themselves that had been taken away from them,” The man elaborated.

The words..  they were all well and good, yes. But something about the way that he said them was… off.

But she didn't want him to know that she felt that way.

“Uh huh. I… can't imagine you'd try to become a distributor, right? From what I can tell you're a news reporter, not a doctor.” She said.

“You would be right in that. However, I am quite good friends with a doctor who would love to take up that role,” The man responded.

“You are?” Iris asked.

“I am. I could give you their business card if you'd wish!” The man answered.

Iris nodded, and so the man got up and walked over to a coat that was hanging up on the door that presumably led out to the rest of the house. He dug his hand into one of the coat’s pockets, pulling out from it a card that they proceeded to then hand over to Iris.

It was a business card for a research facility called Kessler Laboratories. Specifically, it was for the facility’s lead scientist, its namesake employee, Doctor Eris Kessler. A biochemist, according to the card.

Iris had to admit, that did seem like a well enough fit career-wise for a distributor of Animal HRT – or “Humanity Removal Therapy” as the man kept so clinically calling it.

“Would you mind if I wanted to continue this discussion with them at a later date?” Iris inquired, hoping that this ‘Eris Kessler’ person would perhaps be less… blatantly malicious. Or at least easier to reason with.

“Oh, not at all! I'm sure we're both very busy, after all,” The man responded, more cheerful than Iris had admittedly been expecting them to be. 

“Yep,” Iris nodded.

“But before you go Iris, can I ask you just… one thing?” The man called after her as she prepared to teleport away.

“... Sure,” Iris replied, a bit cautious of what it was that the man was about to request.

“Could you refrain from trying to get Doctor Kessler’s attention in the same way you got mine? They're quite the skittish type.”

Iris nodded once again and gave him a thumbs up.

And then, she teleported away.

Annoyingly, she found herself with more questions than she knew what to do with, and little in the way of answers.

But luckily for her, this wasn't the end.

Far, far from it.

April 13th, 2025

██████ ████ ████ ██ ███████ ███████ █████ █████ ███ █████████ ███ █████████ ███████ ████ ████ █████ ███ ███ ███ ██████████ █████████ ████ ██ ████ ██ ████ ███████ ████ ████ ███████ ████ ███ ██ ███ ██████ █████████ █████ ███ ███ ███ ████ ██ █████ ██ ██████████ ███ █████ ████████ █ ███ ██ █████ █████ ██ ████████████ ████ ██ ████████ ██████ ███ ██████████ ████████ ██ ███ ████ ███████ ██ █████ █ ██████████████████ ██ ███ ████ █ █ ███████ ██ ███ ██ ██████ ██ ███ ███████ ███████████ ██ ███ ███ ██ █████████ █ ███ ██ ████ ███ ███████ ███ █████████ █████ ███████████ █████ ████████ ███████████ ███████ ███ █████████████ ██████ ████ ██████████ ███ ████ ████ ██████ ████ ████ ███ ████████ ███ ███████ ██ ███ ███ █████████ ███████ ████ ███ ███ ████ ████ █████ ███ ████ ███████ █████ ████ ███ █ ██████████ ███ ████ ███ ████ ███ ███ ███████ ██ ██ ████ ██ ██████ ████████

“I love it here, don’t get me wrong! But hearing about all this Animal HRT stuff has got me realizing something very deep within me that I haven’t acknowledged in so long…

I did always in some sense want to be a member of the Black Arms.”

██ ███████ ██ ██ ████ ███████ ███████ ██ ███ ████ ██ ██ ████ ███ ██ ████ █ █████ ███ █████████ ███ ██ ██ █████ ████████ ██ ████ ███████ ███████ ████ ████████ ██████ ██ ███ ███ ██ ███ ██████ ████ ███ █████ █ █████████ ███ ██████ ████████ █████ ████ ███ ███████ ██ ████ ██ ████ ███ ███████ ███████ ███ ████████ ████ ███████████ ██ ███ ██ █████ ██ ███ ███ ███ █████████ ███ ████ ████ ██ █████████

I must schedule a meeting with A██ as soon as possible.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy one year anniversary to In Stars and Time!

[puppppppppy]

littlest furth shop

@laikascomet

[shannonsketches]

I grabbed a bunch of caps for that last post so here's a few more in my favorite genre of bejíta

[rataticaisdreaming]

pureberry heals my soul and heart 💛🩷

thank you pureberry, thank you 🥺💛🩷 here's to all the 3 people who love these two! 🫶

[mbat]

thinking about the eredar and how they couldve so easily just been like 'fuck off' about them and let them be mindless soulless irredeemable monsters who have hurt and killed countless people across the galaxy for centuries

but they chose to redeem them. to make them work toward redemption, even if they never achieve it in the eyes of most... or anyone, even. to make them people just like the other characters, and rejoin their people that had to separate from them a long time ago.

and how you can play as one now, technically. you can gain customization options to become an eredar and play as one. and thats wild to me, but in a good way. its just neat

[itspileofgoodthings]

sometimes I make a post and then have to save it to drafts so I can gauge if it’s too shallow/flippant for me to share with the general public.

[iamnotlookingidonotseeit]

fascinating revelations out of my dad's professional coaching of the whole family today

my mom scored astonishingly high on empathy and caring for a woman who seemed to find it next to impossible to express that to me

my dad has done an insane amount of work to be so warm and personable considering that his natural inclination is towards strong reserve rooted in anxiety (just like me!!)

my sister shocked - SHOCKED 🙄 - to learn that she scores almost zero in empathy AND very high on manipulation

actually shocking reveal that my sister always knew she was my mom's favorite. like I kind of assumed she was mean to both of us but apparently most of the biting comments were for me

[raiiny-bay]

my favorite edits - 2023 edition 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Full Tech Day One pic today from kiko laureano (denizen of skid row / ensemble) & video (that's four seconds of "ya never know" playing over the static image) from & ft. marcia milgrom dodge (director / choreographer) double captioning "there might be puppets in this musical ;)" & "Well Shake my hand! Come see LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS @guthrietheater featuring @actually_will_roland's hand!"

[roys-our-boy]

His sprite is so CUTE. Getian loml