#this still isn't even everything lmao. but it's a lot of it

[tuptastic]

YEAHHH I GET TO TALK MORE HAHAHA

"sets" and the watcher-duos: okay so a lot of this takes inspiration from that old SMP i mentioned in the original post as well as like my own minecraft lore so i'm going to try and keep any additions from that to a minimum unless necessary LMAO. in the lore of that SMP we had two babysitting our world (one was based off me bc i was the admin and the other was one created by the server), which is where i got the concept of two of them working together to carry out various aspects of what the world would need. its not. Unheard of for a Watcher to work alone? But its more uncommon, typically because the pairs are made up of an older and a younger member with the younger learning from their elder how to do things properly. its like having a permanent assigned mentor until either they're needed for someone else, or something happens to one or the other and the cycle kind of repeats.

I haven't named the older of X's duo yet, but She's the older member who was helping guide him along and teach him everything. She's pretty old, Hermitcraft is NOT her first rodeo, and X was not the first Watcher she was ever partnered with. She's an absolute doll and an absolute powerhouse who understands her own power very well and knows how to USE it. She has this extreme respect for the worlds around her and how she manages them: While she wields the power in her hands to destroy anything at her whims, she's so fascinated by every world she's placed over and the varying ways her players behave and act and live. Even though she would have loved to have kept X with her, she was able to recognize that he was happier when he was with them and not with her - he needed the activity and the broad companionship that being among them brought, which she could not truly provide.

Appearance: Watchers have a standard appearance that most fit to some extent, but there are some adjustments (hair style, etc). But they all typically fall into the same categories of much taller than the average player, with ~two sets of wings, where typically the primaries and secondaries are the same skyscape that's seen in the end portal and it's kind of sickening if you look at them too long. A lot of them have extra sets of eyes, sometimes on their wings, sometimes on their bodies, etc. Xisuma's former partner has some on her wings and an extra on her forehead but her mask covers it. They have a standard outfit they wear, but it isn't uncommon for Watchers to adjust their outfits in small ways to mimic their players (ie adding little accessories that they see around)

Only a few players remember what X used to look like before he became admin, and occasionally he'll get poked at for it because he did Not know how to manage himself in comparison to the world because he was so much larger than it. He was always hitting things with his wings and running into things because he just couldn't quite make sense of it. However over time the exact details of his old appearance have been lost to time with the Hermits, and with his ability to adjust his base level appearance over his new body, it hasn't felt super important to remember. (I'll have to share the Admin concept from the old SMP, i'm still really proud of it and it makes a lot more make sense than just 'its a blank slate code body that frequently gets angry that he exists in the world'). His former Partner remembers, but she remembers just about everything.

your questions made my day I am thriving right now. i really need to name the Hermitcraft watcher...maybe i'll spend today after work spitballing some ideas.

oughhh i want to talk about all my old hermitcraft stuff from when I was in high school so badly, I used to have a fanfiction I was writing that I gave up on to rewrite that I've still been working on ideas for and making headcanons for for like...4 years now and it makes me go feral

anyways anyways hermitcraft fandom we go wild over watcher stuff I Know I'm One of them but like...the concept that they're not evil and just do their job and hang out and like their players?? makes my heart happy. very big very tall creatures who are not human but not exactly space either who absolutely love these little dorks they've been asked to keep an eye on. they're not all good but like. most of them are decent. xisuma is the younger of a set (i still haven't named her, i want it to be something either really elegant or something super silly and cute from the Hermits naming her), he's practically the son of the older of the pair, and they're a phenomenal set. but when they're assigned to hermitcraft everything changes.

he spends a lot of his time on the ground with the players, and he finds himself just absolutely falling in love with them and his time with them, and when they find themselves in need of an admin and a leader he makes the difficult choice and gives up his life Watching and becomes one of them - an incredibly difficult process that he wasn't even sure he would survive due to what he had to do to adapt. (It was in this process that his twin forms and its great they're great they're jerks to each other and it works for them).

I have an old adaptation from an SMP of an admin form that I'm utilizing here that he forced himself into - he couldn't become a player but he couldn't live among them in his current form, so he found a middle ground. It isnt stable, it's joints are made of fluctuating code and it doesn't like the overworld anymore than his first form liked to fit in it, but it's the closest he'll get - besides, because the admin form is a blank slate, he can create his own appearance overtop of it.

but to do this he gave up his life with the person who he'd spent his eternity with, and who he knew he would likely never truly see again. and all the love in the world he has for his expanding players and his worlds could never replace the empty place he has for the person who taught him how to love to begin with.

(she saves his life later on when he tries to be a silly self sacrificing little goof and everyone cries but he doesn't know that xoxo)

anyways I just needed to get this out of my brain I may do this for the old fanfiction as well, it was related to the s6 civil war and time travel and stuff and I kinda miss it but God idk if I'll ever actually get to write it now with adult stuff. it was originally grian centric but it definitely is now xisuma centric he's my little dude.

[squarebracketsmileyface]

Hi hi!!! Long time no ask!! I am always on my bullshit and scoured your blog for Lark content and Tim being a parent content.

So now I must ask, in the the everyone lives au, how did Lark react to Tim being pregnant? Perhaps was that what knocked her out of the stupidity and allowed them to escape? Or did they get out after the canon events of killing Alex and such?

I want to know everything!!!!

~💜

Purple heart person you don't know what you just unleashed. I fucking LOVE talking about/thinking about Tim and Lark/Jay. (I will probably keep flip flopping between what I call them cos it helps me make sense/keep track of their understanding of their gender at each point in the story)

SO

Finding out about the pregnancy.

In the 'canon' storyline of Sorry, It's Locked Tim doesn't find out he's pregnant until about early January of 2014, after Jay dies, when he's pretty far along, maybe five months ish, six at a push? With all the craziness going on around him he just doesn't think about it, and since they've been using condoms and he's on T (which has stopped his periods) he doesn't really have anything to go on to tell him he's pregnant, and the things that are there are easily brushed off as operator stuff.

Like, weird cravings? Operator probably.

Morning sickness? Operator.

Crazy emotional swings? Operator!!!

It can all be brushed off, so it is. There's so much going on already and he doesn't really have the time or energy to even think about the possibility of being pregnant. And again, if he does think about it, he can easily reassure himself that's not what's causing the things he's experiencing, and he doesn't bother bringing it up to Jay because he's "clearly not pregnant, it's just intrusive thoughts and I'm not going to dignify them with wasting my money on a pregnancy test."

So with that out of the way, the 'everyone lives' AU. I don't think they'd find out much sooner because Tim still wouldn't tell Jay about the signs, and the ones that Jay does notice he just brushes off like Tim, because they've been being careful. They'd figure it out at about 5 months, just like in 'canon' S,IL, probably. I am planning to change the date of Alex's death to being only a couple days after Jay's in 'canon' S,IL (so somewhere around December 7-9th of 2013) but in the 'everyone lives' AU he wouldn't die. He and Tim would still have that fight, but with Jay there as well, they'd manage to restrain Alex and call the police or something. Don't ask me how Jay and Tim don't also go to prison for some of the shit they've done in MH I don't know lmao, maybe even with everyone still alive no one who wasn't a part of MH believes it's real, so they just assume Alex lost it during the filming of a 'fictional' show.

Anyway, that fight happens before Tim and Jay know Tim's pregnant, but not long before, and i think after that fight the Operator would piss off just like in MH, go off and haunt Jessica because it's lost easy access to Alex/can't easily make Alex do anything to carry out its will because he's in hospital/prison/a psych unit. With the Operator out of the way, though, I don't think it would take long for Tim and Jay to figure out that Tim's pregnant, that these symptoms aren't caused by the Operator, because they're still here even though the Operator isn't anymore.

So maybe around mid-late December they realise.

And that causes a whole lot of worry, because "Oh my god Tim you're on T, that's not good for foetuses" as well as panic over what could have happened, given that that last fight with Alex was a pretty intense one. So they have a lot of feelings about it. They manage to get themselves sorted out though, calm themselves down from the panic, talk about whether they want to keep the baby or if they were going to have to figure out getting an abortion (would they need to go out of state? Etc etc etc), go to a doctor about prenatal care when they decide that they do want to keep the kid.

It's a lot of craziness for them, basically, lots of "oh god are we really ready to be parents? we've only been together for like half a year and we only just got out of a literal life or death situation a month ago" kinda stuff. They manage to figure it out though.

Birdie (their kid) is born in May of 2014, in the 'canon' S,IL storyline Tim raises her alone until she's about ten, when he finds out that Brian is in fact still alive when he just kinda shows up as a new p.e. teacher at Birdies school. He's paralysed from about the ribs down because of the fall, so he's in a wheelchair (though he is very slowly learning to walk again and can currently stand for short periods of time as long as he has something to steady him/to lean on) and has a service dog. He runs an after school club teaching disabled students to climb, and Birdie adores him (not knowing that he used to be friends with her dad) because she feels pretty similar to him in a lot of ways, because she's also physically disabled.

So one day, at parents evening or just after school when Tim comes to pick her up, i havent decided which yet lol, Tim finally gets to meet this Mr. Thomas Birdie has been talking about so much. He kinda just freezes when he sees him, because "holy shit that's Brian" and has to fight to keep it together, gets through the parents evening or whatever without breaking the fuck down in front of all the other parents, and he and Brian swap numbers and have a proper "first meeting" again where they can both cry it all out and hug and do all the things you do when you find out your best friend/one of your soulmates who you thought was dead is actually still alive.

Then they just slowly get closer again and start dating, and eventually Birdie has two dads (Tim = papa and Brian = bubah once she remembers she doesn't have to call him Mr. Thomas unless she's at school) But yeah! Anyway, sorry, back to the 'everyone lives' AU.

Birdie is born in May of 2014 to Tim and Jay who feel incredibly unprepared but are determined to look after her and make sure she has a good childhood. Tim is terrified of messing her up like his own parents messed him up, and Jay just does not feel ready to be raising a kid, but together they work it out and manage pretty well.

Birdie is about 6 or 7 when Jay's gender exploration comes to a head and 'he' becomes she, 'Jay' becomes Lark, and 'dad' becomes mum. Birdie, shocker, doesn't really care. She's a kid, she's suddenly got a mum who used to be her dad? Amazing! Her mum looks so much happier now and Birdie suddenly has a whole load of girly grown-up clothes she can try on and parade around the house in! Tim is obviously supportive, he's the one who's been helping Lark through this whole gender thing in the first place, and just over all, its a really lovely thing. Lark was happy to keep being 'dad' if the switch was too difficult for Birdie, and for a while she got called both mum and dad, but after a year or so Birdie only ever called her mum.

Getting called mum by Birdie is such a gender euphoria moment for Lark, like, it's so special to her.

It's around this time when Lark and Tim get married (so that'd be in around 2020-2021 ish) and because of covid it'd be a pretty quiet thing, just the three of them and a small part of Lark's family that she's reconnected with and who aren't queerphobic. It'd still be one of the best things that has ever happened to Lark and Tim though. Yet again, a gender euphoria moment (for both of them really) especially for Lark, getting to wear a beautiful wedding dress and all that. And of course Birdie would want to be the ring bearer and the flower girl, because who else could possibly do those two incredibly important jobs? No one. Birdie is the perfect candidate and she will not let anyone else steal her thunder!

ALSO Brian would still secretly be alive in the 'everyone lives' AU, and would probably be found out the same way as in canon, with him becoming a teacher/running an after school club at Birdie's school when Birdie is about 10 (which would be in 2024, this year, lmao) and Tim meeting him at a parents evening/when he's picking Birdie up from the climbing club. However this time, after exchanging numbers with Brian, Tim gets to go home and tell Lark about it. Instead of having to cry silently about it in his room so that he doesn't worry Birdie, he gets to cry about it to Lark. They still try and hide it from Birdie to begin with, so they don't worry her and so that they can come up with a plan for how to talk to Birdie about how they know Brian and stuff like that.

It takes a good few months of meeting up with Brian to talk about everything that's happened, getting properly reacquainted (as well as talking about their feelings for each other, because there's no way I'm getting rid of Brim in the 'everyone lives' AU, it's polyamory or nothing) and all that, before they have a solid plan for how to go about the whole "yeah so Brian is Papa's friend from all the way back in university who we all thought was dead" conversation.

Though given that I'm pretty dead set on Tim (and Lark in the 'everyone lives' AU) doing everything in their power to keep MH a secret from Birdie (they delete the youtube channel and try and scrub everything about MH from the internet. They can't delete the TTA channel because neither of them know how to get into it so that has to stay up, but everything they can get rid of they do after saving it to a hard drive, because it is a massive part of their lives that they don't want to just completely get rid of). Given that I'm dead set on that, it probably wouldn't actually be "this is papa's supposedly dead uni friend" lol, because Birdie is a very curious kid and she would ask so many questions.

She'd ask too many questions if they just told her Tim and Brian lost contact at some point too, lol. She's autistic and only 10, so can't fathom how you could possibly lose contact with your best friend in the world.

Oh yeah Birdie is autistic as well as being physically disabled. Probably EDS, because same and I like giving characters the same issues I have. Maybe even FND too, actually. And tourettes. I'll leave it there or I'll feel too mean /j

Anyway. Yeah :]

the 'everyone lives' AU :D

WAIT ALSO, sorry, more thoughts, Alex.

Because everyone lives. So does Alex. Duh. But that does leave Tim and Jay/Lark with a decision to make: do they tell Birdie about him, and if so, when? I think they would both go and visit Alex as soon as they were allowed too, though they don't go super often at first because they're told that it tends to send Alex into some really bad spirals. After a few years though, they go to visit him pretty regularly. I think that's when they'd start talking to Birdie about him. Very carefully, obviously, because they're still trying to hide MH from her as much as possible (they can't completely hide it because both of them still have nightmares about it, just like in 'canon' S,IL Tim has nightmares about it) but they do talk to her about Alex.

They tell her that he's been in hospital and can't leave because he's been very ill, but that he's been getting a lot better recently, so Tim and Jay have started going to visit him (Birdie would be maybe 5-6 at this time, so they're just at the stage where Jay is starting to realise he's Lark). Anyway, they talk about Alex very carefully and not super often, only when Birdie asks about him or asks what they did that day on days where they went to see him etc, but they do talk about him.

It's only after Brian comes back into their lives that Birdie actually meets Alex. It takes a lot of talking with Alex's doctors and all that, especially when they're worried that seeing Brian alive might send Alex spiralling again, but eventually stuff gets sorted out and Brian and Birdie meet Alex. (I like to think that at this point Alex is like, kinda living in a sort of assisted living situation? But also under police supervision? IDK if that's a real thing, but it is in this universe because I want him to not just, be in a prison/inpatient psych unit for the rest of his life, yknow?)

It's a lot for all of them, that day, Birdie is maybe 11-12 and Alex is completely different to how Brian remembers him. Alex is happy though. He's happy that what's happened didn't seem to ruin Tim, Lark and Brian's lives. They all look happy and healthy and even though things are different (i.e. Brian being in a wheelchair) all of them look really happy.

It's probably around this time that Brian, Tim and Lark all officially become a polycule, too, i think. Around when Birdie is 12-13 ish, y'know. Tim and Lark are still married and all that, but they don't really look at it as a heirarchy thing, it's just a thing, y'know. It doesn't really take long for Tim to call Brian his husband as well as Lark his wife, and it only takes a little longer for Lark to just say she has two husbands, y'know?

Also, do they still live in Alabama in this AU? God knows lol. Maybe they moved away and it's an even bigger miracle that Brian turned up as a teacher in Birdie's school. I don't know, but either way I love it.

[hoardlikegoldenirises]

some drawings of TJ as a kid and also as a Troubled Teen. He had a rebellious streak, but, you know, it's difficult to be a teenager with ADHD while also grieving and then get your medications taken away for not being well-behaved enough trying to deal with it all.

I plan to do a part 2 to this showing his 20s and 30s, including a brief buzzcut (lol) but figured i'd post the first part

[omarfor-orchestra]

.

[magentagalaxies]

1 & 2 :-p

thank you!!

"1. Song of the year" and "2. Album of the Year" are such a tossup for me bc there are so many songs i've listened to that have defined specific moments this year and also 2024 has been such a good year for new music??? like idk how so many of my favorite artists' album cycles somehow happened to sync but i'm genuinely considering making a post ranking every new release i listened to in 2024 bc i have a lot of thoughts. anyway all this to say in my attempt to choose one album and one song i accidentally chose 3 albums lmao enjoy

Song(s) of the year: "Midwest Indigo" and "Oldies Station" by twenty one pilots

i have a complicated relationship to the band twenty one pilots. they were THAT band for my angsty 13-year-old self and while i still feel a lot of nostalgia for their early work, i haven't considered anything they've done a "favorite of the year" since middle school. that is until their 2024 album "clancy"

the trouble with the angsty bands you attach to in middle school is sometimes as you grow up, the music doesn't grow along with you. but jfc if "blurryface" was the perfect album for me leaving behind my childhood and becoming a teenager, "clancy" feels tailor-made for all those complex emotions of a final semester of college.

"midwest indigo" is a song about anxiety and seasonal depression, sure, but it's told in such a mundane and relatable way (it's literally just that feeling of "FUCK it's so cold out here. FUCK why isn't my friend texting me back it's been 2 minutes. FUCK my therapist just rescheduled again." but none of these things are the end of the world, you just keep going.) also the instrumental is so tight and it's very fun to loudly sing along to in the car

"oldies station" on the other hand is the only time twenty one pilots has made me cry since i was a preteen. (or should i say "times" bc i swear i teared up the first like 20 times i heard this song). it's such a hopeful song about mental health but never in a way that feels like it's bullshitting you. it's not "everything is going to be fine and perfect forever", it's "yeah your mental illness might never go away but you learn to manage it even if your progress isn't always liner. and someday you'll be at a red light and your favorite song will be considered oldies and you'll have one of those moments like i'm so glad i stayed alive to see this" fuck i'm tearing up just writing about it lmao.

it just felt really special to see this band i kind of "outgrew" suddenly meet me exactly where i'm at, bc i've made a lot of progress on my mental health in the past 2 years and had plenty of "oldies station" moments, while also dealing with trying not to fall apart over "midwest indigo" type stress. i don't expect everyone to have the same emotional connection i do to these songs but they are some of my favorites of 2024

Album of the year: Stick Season by Noah Kahan

ok this section is gonna be shorter bc i'm being more general but basically even tho it didn't come out in 2024 i listened to stick season (specifically the "we'll all be here forever" version with the bonus tracks) in full for the first time on january 9th 2024 and i have been obsessed ever since. literally 21 of the top 22 songs on my wrapped are every track from this album. i went as "noah kahan" for my halloween costume. i went through a phase where i would sing along to the entire album at least once a day

stick season is actually pretty different than my usual music taste (i don't tend to like more acoustic production and there's a huge country influence in a lot of the songs) but its songs are each so well written, both with poetic lyrics and strong hooks, and even tho it's not a "concept album" with a specific story the whole album has such a cohesive theme and sense of place that by the end of the "we'll all be here forever" version it feels like you just watched a movie. highly recommend

also i find it very sweet that of my top 2 albums, "clancy" is an album i can bond over with my dad (he's honestly a bigger twenty one pilots fan than i am, he got into them when i was in middle school and he keeps up with their music much more than i do) and "stick season" is an album i bond over with my mom (she got into noah kahan a few months before i did and there were times when i'd call her while at college and we'd just go off on a tangent about how good the album is)

anyway honorable mention to MOUTH CONGRESS's "Valley of Song" i honestly wouldn't say it defined 2024 for me quite as much as 2023 bc so far most of my associations with it are seeing it come together before the release, but it's definitely among my top albums that released this year, give it a listen if you haven't already

anyway thank you for the ask!!

End of year ask prompt

[jewishcissiekj]

actually! idgaf about Asajj's character changing over the years and shifting directions because that's simply what happens to characters. I won't take that excuse anymore. They should have stuck with her portrayal, style, vibe, personality, and characterization from Tartakovsky's Clone Wars, and getting away from that was a downgrade and did not turn out well and doesn't hold to the character of Asajj Ventress and doesn't work at all and they should've just made up a different character and (<-just saw 10 seconds of a clip of the Anakin and Asajj fight from Clone Wars 2003)

[tartt9]

thinking about jamie's bisexuality tonight.

[laaawliet]

ive been trying to keep to myself to avoid bothering other people, and in doing so im isolating and giving the idea that i don't want people to talk to me, and ive been so lonely lately that it's making me mad at myself but i can't seem to stop isolating 💀

[itmightneverbetherighttime]

...

[mrfoox]

I'm being abnormal again fellas...

[thebibliosphere]

I'm writing a bigger post about my experience with the new PT yesterday (my head's still full of fog), but aside from being a generally positive experience where my pain was kept to a minimum and she let me guide the intensity of the session, it was also a relief to finally be around someone who understood EDS and wasn't afraid to explicitly roll her eyes at the gatekeeping that goes on with diagnosing people.

We talked briefly about how POTS isn't officially in my health partners file because I "don't meet the criteria" (diagnosis requires a change in the heartbeat of over 30bpm. Mine presented as 29 the one time they tested me while I wasn't in a flare. lol, lmao even.)

But specifically, we were talking about how I don't always present as typically EDS either because I've grown increasingly stiff in parts of my body, and without missing a beat, she said, "Of course you are; pain stiffens the body. It's an inflammatory response."

Like it was the most obvious thing to her and not something I'd need to hedge my way around explaining lest I become An Annoying Patient.

She then went on to detail how a lot of patients referred to her by rheumatology for fibromyalgia are actually hypermobile and are likely good candidates for hEDS screening, but because they're "stiff," they're being missed. But it's not like you, a lowly PT, know better than a rheumatologist (who shouldn't really be diagnosing EDS because it's not a rheumatic disorder), so the patient goes on not getting the full extent of the help they need.

And I remember how it was taking everything in me at that moment to just not to just cry with relief because oh my god. You. You get it.

[myfictionaldreams]

Seven // Mafia!Stucky x Fem!Reader

Summary: One week is all it takes for your world to come crashing down. Even though you could have everything you'd ever wanted, for some reason, something isn't right. Will your emotions and the smothering of overprotective Stucky come to an end?

Prompt: please read my 'origin' fics last hope (Ch 1) (Ch 2) for some reader backstory.

Requested by: 2 x requests mixed together. @hellsenthero for the safeword use, subdrop + lots of angst/comfort & anon with very overprotective Stucky. I hope you both enjoy, this gets quite intense so be ready!

Warnings (PLEASE READ): injuries, blood, safe word use, discussion of m*rder, severe panic attack. Not by the main characters: threats of abuse, unconsenting face touching, derogatory, misogony, slut shaming

Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, angst (!), Overprotective (!), Dom/Sub, threesome, hurt/comfort, possessive, sir kink, oral (f + m recieving), squirting, subdrop, crying, anal, double penetration, praise kink, begging, rough sex, aftercare (sorry if i've missed any lmao)

Words: 9k (it's a long one!)

my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link

One week. Seven days.

Not a significant amount of time for most in the grand scheme of a lifetime. How much could change in a single week? Everything it seemed and yet nothing at all.

A week of not acting like yourself. Days filled with conflicting thoughts between overreacting and not having the energy to emote. Excuses became your best friend. Maybe it was because you were due to start your period; perhaps it was a mental breakdown. Who knows?

There was never a day that you EVER doubted your love for Steve Rogers and James Barnes. The term soulmates didn’t even come close to how much you loved these men. The loves of your life. Saving you from a lifetime of pain, saving you from yourself. There would never be a day that you weren’t grateful for these men, and every day, you tried to show them your appreciation with love and affection.

Yes, you were still human. There were days when you couldn’t even cope with their assertive overprotectiveness. Yes, it was for your benefit; they loved you as much as you loved them. Scared of losing you, cautious of the horrible life and background that they’d saved you from. Their job as heads of the Rogers Mafia was rifled with dangers, violence, and death. There was always a target on their backs and anyone they encountered. The list was endless as to why Steve and Bucky acted as they did.

For years, there was nothing but appreciation for this way of life. The dangers that surrounded every second were always at an arm's length away from you as you lived a comfortable, loving life with the men you loved.

Steve and Bucky were renowned for their protection of you. Going to extreme lengths to make sure you were safe. This ranged from 24/7 security, personal bodyguards always by your side unless they were there, and weapons hidden throughout your home that you had been thoroughly trained on just in case.

Next were the verbal and physical threats Steve and Bucky would give those who dared to look at you for more than 5 seconds. People died. MANY people had been killed, as a matter of fact, in the line of duty, love and a little bit of crazy. The lines that were crossed to make sure you were safe had no boundaries.

Except on these small occasions. Just one week for your patience to lose all hope.

MONDAY

It had been a calm day for you. You complete chores at home until you’re satisfied while your boyfriends are at work, making money and continuing to prove they own Brooklyn. You wanted to treat them to something special and decided to cook a hearty meal and have a romantic dinner.

The table was decorated with candles and fresh flowers from the garden. Even your dog Dodger was handsome in his blue and red bowtie around his neck. He sat his head on his paws, watching you chop vegetables.

“What do you think Dodger? Does Mama move well?” you ask him whilst shaking your hips in time with the song playing on the radio. The rottweiler’s head tilts as if to say you’re really going to ask me that?

“Fine, maybe I can’t dance, but I can cook; if you’re good, you’ll get some of the meat scraps”. Dodgers ears perk up at this, and you can’t help but grin down at your baby, “Of course, you’re going to be a good boy, you’re always my good boy- OW SHIT!”

The pain is intense, and the burn radiates from the centre of your palm. Blood, that's all you see at first. The crimson drips from the end of the knife in your hand before it clutters onto the cutting board.

“Honey, we’re home!” Bucky hollered from the front door.

You couldn’t reply. Utterly frozen and helpless as more drips continued to coat the surface. This is how you die from chopping vegetables. You’ll be the laughing stock of the infamous mafia leader’s lover dies from cutting a carrot.

Dodger, ever the inquisitive boy, began to bark hysterically, running out of the kitchen towards Steve and Bucky, jumping up at them, biting onto their clothes and pulling in the direction of the kitchen. He’d been trained for moments like this to protect and alert if you’re in danger.

“What is it, Dodger? Where is she- Fuck! Bucky, get the first aid kit. Baby, let me see.” Steve’s hand's cup yours, pressing firmly against the area that was now throbbing and you couldn’t help but hiss as the sting intensified. “I know it hurts, but I need to stop it bleeding”, he explains whilst coaxing you toward the sink.

With surprising gentleness for such a big hunk of a man, Steve washed your hand, able to inspect the wound as Bucky appeared to your other side with the first aid box opened and ready.

“It’s not deep enough to need stitches, thankfully, but I’m going to need to press on it for a couple of minutes to stop it bleeding”. Nodding your head in response to Steve, you lean against his body, finding comfort in his warmth and firm body.

“I guess that’s the last time you try and do anything romantic, huh, Doll?” Tilting your head toward Bucky, you glare hard at his joke as he sticks out his bottom lip in a pout. “Oh, I love it when you try and look angry with me; you look so damn cute”, he finishes his teasing with a bop at the end of your nose with his finger.

“Bucky, stop being a jerk”, Steve chastises as you hide your face in his chest.

“I just wanted to make you both a nice meal”, your voice muffled against Steve’s white shirt.

“As much as we appreciate the sentiment, maybe use the precut carrots next time, yeah?” Knocking your shoulder against Steve’s chest, he laughs and kisses your cheek as an apology for his joke.

Your hand is then thoroughly wrapped in a bandage, probably more than necessary, and you’re nudged to sit at the table while they continue cooking the meal you’d planned. Guilt settled uneasily in your stomach. It was meant to be a pleasant surprise for them, but now they’re left clearing up after you.

Dodger came over, licking at your uninjured hand, begging for pets you’re more than happy to give him as you contemplated how to make up for your mistake.

However, Steve and Bucky had other ideas as they took it upon themselves to ensure you were effortlessly cared for to the point that they refused to allow you to cut up your food or feed yourself, cuddling you into Bucky’s lap as he fed you. Next, they’re undressing you slowly, carefully and tenderly, bathing you, being careful of your injury, and ending the day with enough orgasms to have your mind fuzzy and body sated.

 You were treated to the care and attention you were used to, and Steve and Bucky did not complain once. In fact, they had smiles on their faces, and they enjoyed looking after you, which is where your conundrum occurs. Sometimes, the overprotective attentiveness verged on being smothering.

TUESDAY

It did not end. You’re washed, dressed, and hair combed by them. Even lifting the damn spoon for your cereal to your mouth.

“I can use a spoon; I’m not incapable of everything!”

All you’re given in response from Bucky is a soft smile, his eyes flicking across your face like he’s trying to memorise every pore, and then once more, he continues to feed you. “I like looking after you like this”.

“What, like a baby?” you ask in a monotone voice.

“You know exactly what I mean” he rolls his eyes playfully but doesn’t stop.

You knew he was trying to be innocent and caring, but for some reason, this time, it was hitting you the wrong way. One small mistake, and now you aren’t even trusted to do anything for yourself? Maybe it was because you were irritable, as they were only being nice to you, but something didn’t feel right. You need a breath or moment to be independent, but for today, you let it go, thinking it would all be back to normal by tomorrow.

WEDNESDAY

There was never a single complaint when it came to sex. They worshipped every inch of your body. Your trust in them was never-ending, especially in your most vulnerable positions. They both knew you better than you knew yourself in those intimate times.

When you need soft, they will give you love and gentleness. When you needed a more brutal, rougher fuck, they would absolutely be up for the job, which is why in the different situations and scenes played out in the bedroom, you all used the traffic light system for safe words. What might be right for one person doesn’t always suit the others.

It wasn’t even like you used the word ‘red’ often, but today, you needed it just because of your uncomfortable position. Kneeling over the back of the chair, Steve had one hand roughly gripping your hip as he fucked you from behind, blinding you with the pleasure pulsing in your cunt from his engorged cock. The other hand was in your hair, pushing you towards Bucky’s cock as he fucked your mouth.

It was perfect, hard and highly satisfying. Until Steve lifts your right leg, trying to rest your knee on the arm of the chair, giving himself more room to push his cock deeper. However, the angle at which he lifted your leg had a sharp pain shooting through your hip joint as it clicked.

Tapping your hand three times on the back of the chair, the pressure on the back of your head eased as Bucky’s cock slips out of your mouth as you rush out the word “Red”.

There’s instant relief as Steve moves away, allowing you to lower your leg and rub the sore area that had clicked. The leg wasn’t dislocated; it was just a bad angle and horrible timing.

“Did I hurt you? Christ, baby, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to”, Steve begs as he hovers behind you, looking helplessly down.

“I just- need a minute”, you say, trying to catch your breath enough to explain what had happened. The muscles around your hip ached, but nothing more as your breathing slowed enough that you could look up and try and give a reassuring smile. You hated how they both appeared terrified, glancing between your hip and face. “It’s fine; I just twinged my hip a little. Maybe if we just move positions or something so I’m not kneeling”, you suggest whilst trying to stand, but wince when the soreness returns to your hip.

Steve’s eyes are almost bulging out of his head, and he is concerned as he shakes his head, leaning down to lift you into his strong arms. “Absolutely not; I’m taking you to the hospital. I could have broken your hip; I’m not risking it”.

Gripping his cheeks, you force him to look at you while trying to remain calm and stern. “Steve, stop! It’s fine; it was just a little twinge. I’m not going to the hospital. Nothing is broken; I would have told you if it was, and you’d never break me.”

Steve didn’t look convinced as he carefully settled your body into the centre of the bed, his calloused hand lowering over your body until resting over your right side. “You don’t know that. I could have dislocated your hip or something.”

Moving your leg to emphasise that this much damage hadn’t happened to your hip, you comb your fingers through his blonde hair to soothe him. “Steve, please stop overreacting. I’m not going anywhere. I’m fine”.

Bucky suggested, “If you won’t go to the hospital, then I’m still going to call Doctor Banner to come and check you over. There could be a trapped nerve or-”

“No! You aren’t listening to me. Please, will both of you just stop? I don’t want to go to the hospital, and I don’t want the Doctor to come and see me. It was a little twinge and nothing more. I’m perfectly well.” The blonde and brunette exchanged an uncertain glance but thankfully didn’t say anymore.

It was safe to say the pleasurable mood was thoroughly out of the window as they began to tentatively and extra carefully give you aftercare. Cleaning you up, ensuring you’d had something to eat and drink and wearing comfortable clothes. One of them continued to touch you at all times, even as you fell asleep, stroking over your back and massaging any aches and pains away.

THURSDAY

Usually, after an emotional night, you’re feeling needy, but today, you’re withdrawn, potentially experiencing a subdrop where your emotions are heightened and vulnerable.

If you thought Tuesday Steve and Bucky were constantly at your side, this took smothering to a whole new meaning. Even when going to the bathroom, one was there to ensure you were okay, to the point where you stopped answering and continued with your day. It was too much, and it wasn’t like you meant to push them away, but you just needed space, a moment, a second, to catch your breath. It was like you were drowning with the want to be ok, but being constantly reminded that you weren’t made it more difficult to recover.

Your friends who had children would always speak about those moments when they’re overstimulated with touch by these kids. No matter how much they love them, it becomes too much when someone constantly needs to be on you at all times of the day. This was exactly how you felt. You love them with all your heart, but it becomes too much.

By the time the sun had set over your home, you were hardly conversing with either of your boyfriends, which had them both tense. Deep lines were imbedded between their brows; fists clenched to stop from wringing their fingers together. Some of you felt sad and guilty even for pushing them away, especially when it came to bed, and you wanted to spoon a pillow rather than one of them. 

FRIDAY

Due to their lifestyle, there were days when they could stay at home and others when they were needed at work. Today, they were needed at work and for a change of scenery, you wanted to join them, which had never been an issue before. Especially after the last few days with your emotions all over the place, you just wanted some normality with the two men you loved.

“Wait, what do you mean I have to stay here?” you ask in a state of shock, feet planted into your living room carpet.

The men share a look you’d seen multiple times this week already. Where no words are shared, but enough was said for you to read between the lines. The mafia leader stepped forward, all towering and handsome in his suit, enough to distract you momentarily. Especially as his big hands cup your face, tilting it back so that he can kiss you enough to take your breath away. As he pulls away, you’re lifting onto the tips of your toes for more.

His hands remain framing your face as he explains, “We just think it would be best for you to stay here and get some rest, that’s all. There’s also an important meeting today with some unkind people, and we’d rather you stay here where it’s safe.”

You sigh exasperatedly, holding onto his wrists to keep him in front. “But there are always meetings with those types of people. I’ve attended many, might I remind you? I’ve rested enough this week; I want to come with you both.”

Steve’s blue eyes drill into yours as he chews on the inside of his cheek, contemplating before glancing over to his boyfriend, but it’s your turn to hold onto his face, forcing his gaze back to yours. “No!” you snap, “Don’t look at Bucky for backup. I want a genuine reason for being forced to be kept in the house. I want to stay with both of you today, and I thought that’s what you wanted over the last few days?”

It was a low blow, and you had to refrain from cringing.

“I can stay”, Bucky begins as you look over at him as Steve’s hands fall to his side.

“No. That’s not fair. I’ve been here for four days now. Please let me come with you”. It wasn’t often you had to beg either man for anything other than during an intimate moment. They were always happy for you to do anything, especially if it meant for you to remain at their side.

However, as both of their blue eyes clash in another knowing gaze, you give up. Feeling once more vulnerable and tired. It had been an odd week, to say the least. Stepping away from them, your shoulders drop in defeat. “You know what, I’ll just see you both when you get home. Please be safe”. With that, you escape up the stairs with the plan to rot in bed for the remainder of the day to catch up with your emotions.

Bucky heaves a sigh as you reach the top of the stairs. A small part of you wished that seeing you this upset, they would have chased you, but this didn’t happen. As the front door opens and closes, you can’t help but drown in the emotions of the last few days, crying into your pillow.

Later, when they return home with bags of take-out and unharmed, useless, this would be enough to pick up your spirits. However, you aren’t in the mood, unable to pull yourself out of the grump, mentally still blaming it on your impending period.

So, you ate the delicious food and climbed back into bed. It wasn’t like you were going out of your way to be distant, but the rejection from earlier still hurt, so being petty, if they wanted to be without you, they could continue that way.

SATURDAY

Wake up alone, but you know they’re somewhere still in the house. It takes you considerable time to even crawl out of bed with how groggy you feel. You’d probably spent more time in bed this week than any other time, so you decided enough was enough. You texted your friend Laura Barton.

I haven’t seen you in a while and need a distraction. Coffee date?

Five minutes passed before your phone was lighting up with a response.

Love in paradise? You know I’m always free for you; I’ve just got to bring Nate along as no babysitter, but I’m down!

My mind’s just all over the place, and I really need a friend, you respond immediately.

I can pick you up in 20, and we’ll head to a coffee shop.

Your fingers are typing before you have a moment to think about what you’re sending, and you reply, "That’s if they will let me leave the house."

The three dots on your phone appear and disappear multiple times before Laura’s text arrives. Wow, if you’re revolting against their overprotectiveness, things must be tough there. I’ll be there soon. I’m sure if you bat your pretty lashes at them, everything will be fine.

If only you thought rather than responding and taking the next 15 minutes to prepare. After getting dressed, you feel much more motivated and in better spirits; speaking to them about leaving the house is the only issue. You just needed an hour or two away to clear your thoughts from all of the protective, macho-man bullshit that seemed to surround you on the daily.

They’re both working out in the gym, and for a second, you admire them, your mouth slipping open in awe. Dressed in only their gym shorts, you’re momentarily jealous of the sweat dripping down their chests, the muscles covering their bodies flexing with each movement.

“If you want a closer look, Princess, why don’t you come here?” Bucky eyes you just as hungrily as he lowers the weight, wiping a hand over his stubbled jaw.

Taking a deep breath and trying to remain on the plan, you shake your head, straightening your posture. You can do this.

“I’m going out”, you firmly state. Usually, you ask so that they can prepare a bodyguard or security guard to patrol the area, but not today. You were a grown-ass woman who didn’t need to ask.

Steve nods, moving some strays of his wet blonde hair out of his piercing eyes. “I hope it’s somewhere fun”.

Your gaze is still flicking between them, especially Bucky as he saunters over, his eyelids lowered, and he looks like an animal on the way to pouncing on his prey. You’re like molten lava by the time he’s by your side, all but ready to jump into his arms, kissing him until you’re breathless. Your fingers slide over his firm chest, feeling his muscles, thumping heart and skimming over the scars where the metal of his arms connect with his skin. 

You mewl pathetically as he pulls back, grinning as he realizes how needy you’ve become. “If you give us a few minutes, Sam can prepare a car.”

Sam is your trusty bodyguard and best friend, and as much as you love spending time with him, today, you didn’t want to be reminded of how you always needed to be coddled.

Taking a hearty step away from him, you firmly say, “No. I don’t need Sam. I’m just going out with Laura, and she’s picking me up. It’s just coffee. I’ll be fine”. Much like the rest of the week, the atmosphere soon sours as Bucky’s grin fades until you can see his jaw tighten as he swallows.

“Ok, that’s fine”, he begins slowly, like he’s careful with what to say. “Laura can drive you, but Sam’s still coming with you, Sweetheart. It’s too dangerous out there”.

A negative heat flushes through your chest as rage slowly takes over. “No. I just need some space, I just-”. You hated how difficult it was to articulate yourself when angry. Most of the time, your instinct was to cry, but you needed to explain how you were feeling to them.

Steve enters your eyeline as he lowers his height so you’re both eye to eye. “Ok, Sam won’t go.”

“But-” Bucky tries to interrupt but stops when Steve holds up a hand to silence him.

“Take my card with you and buy yourself something nice. Have fun, baby girl”. You’re so shocked by Steve’s reaction that you hardly respond when his lips caress yours in a simple kiss.

“Really? You’re letting me go like that?” you ask suspiciously.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t we? We’re a team, right?” There’s something in how he looks at you with such uncertainty that your chest is tightening. A beat passes before your arms are locked around his neck, pulling him down to kiss him slowly and deeply. Savour the touch of his stubble against your cheeks, the softness of his tongue. You’re relieved when his fingers dig into your waist, holding on with just as much eagerness.

Your phone vibrates in your back pocket. The reminder that Laura has probably arrived outside has you taking a step back, licking your lips while looking down. Your fingertips slip over his abs, which flex as you touch them.

“I’ll see you both later, love you” Quickly pecking Bucky, you turn and leave the gym, tickling under Dodger’s chin as Steve and Bucky simultaneously shout ‘Love you’ back.

Sitting with a coffee that probably had a week's worth of caffeine and a cake the size of your head, you could finally go into detail about what was happening with Laura.

“So after all that, they really let you come out with no security? I’ve never seen that happen before”, your friend muses whilst sipping her drink and trying to entertain her toddler, Nate.

“I guess not that I’m going to complain about it. Feels rebellious to be out here by myself”. 

The time passed, and it was relieving to catch up with her, definitely needed someone to validate your feelings. You still absolutely loved them and appreciated everything they did for you, but you were smothered over the last few days.

Just as you’d taken another sip of your coffee, the fine hairs on your neck rose as you felt like someone was watching you. Keeping the coffee at your lips, your eyes darted, looking out the window to the street and the patrons in the coffee shop when you saw them. Both of them.

Sensing your change in demeanour, Laura frowns as she looks at you. “What is it?” She looks around the room, and it takes seconds before she chuckles. “You’re joking, right? Did they really think a baseball hat and aviator sunglasses would be a good enough disguise?”

The fury that had first hit you when spotting Steve and Bucky soon turned to sadness. It was like they didn’t trust you at all, feeling overwhelmed by them. Initially, you wanted to confront them, but there was no point; you just wanted to escape and go to your safe space.

“Can you take me home, please?” you quietly ask Laura, pushing away the rest of your coffee.

You try to ignore your friend's sad look as she leans across the table to hold the back of your hand. “Honey, I’m sure they’re just trying to look out for you”.

“Yes, I know, they just could have told me. It makes me feel incompetent when they sneak around behind my back.”

“It’s not that, you know it’s dangerous to be dating them-”

“Yes, I know. Please, can we just go”. You didn’t mean to snap at her, and it was clear she didn’t seem offended as she packed up her belongings and rested Nate on her hip.

Standing, you walk without stopping towards the exit, conveniently where your boyfriends are sitting. Out of the corner of your eye, they both stand, and Bucky tries to reach for you.

“Just listen, we can explain why we’re here”.

You don’t stop. Even as the tears begin to fall and you see the visible flinch from Bucky, you don’t stop.

Laura tried to comfort you in the car, but it was useless. You’re home with a brief goodbye to your friend. Weaving past the security to the entrance to your home, you finally are at your front door.

By the time Steve and Bucky return, you’re upstairs, changing into your pj’s with a tub of ice cream and Dodger at your side. “Baby, where are you?” You don’t answer, but it doesn’t matter as in a matter of seconds, Steve is standing at your bedroom door, breathless and clearly distraught. “Just give us a minute to explain. It’s too dangerous to be out by yourself. We didn’t want to make you feel crowded by having someone at your side, but you need someone close just in case”.

Allowing him to speak, you’re too much of a coward to face him, turning away as the tears continue to fall and soak your clothing. “Mmm hmm, I understand”. You feel drained of energy, and the caffeine from earlier has no effect. Moving towards your bedside cabinet, you unplug your phone charger, collect your phone and ice cream, and bundle the fluffy decorative blanket from the bed.

“Where are you going?” Bucky now asks where he appears at Steve’s side, appearing just as concerned as his boyfriend, with the hat and sunglasses gone.

“The spare room”.

You can hear the audible breath that your boyfriends suck in. It took everything in you not to change your mind immediately. It hurt them, but they also hurt you this week. It wasn’t like you were gathering all your stuff and going to stay in a hotel; it was only across the hall for the rest of the day.

 It was just a break, a place to cry without having someone watching and then consequently feeling guilty for having emotions.

One of them begs, “Why are you going there? Just let us talk,” but you’re done.

“I don’t want to talk” Your bottom lip wobbles as you hold back the sobs, threatening to burst free.

Bucky steps forward, whose metal hands are cupping the point of your chin to tilt your face up to his, “Don’t stay in the spare bedroom; if you don’t want to sleep with us, we’ll stay on the couch. Just give us a minute, please”.

Trying to ignore the pleading in his tone, you shake your head, not trusting yourself to talk. Walking around them, they let you walk past, and no word is shared as you walk across the hall to the spare room.

Locking the door, you can just turn the TV on before releasing the pent-up sob you’d held in. Nearly the entire tub of ice cream has been emotionally eaten, and eyes are sore from the crying. It also felt soul-soothing to get all your emotions out, and by the time hours passed, you were ready to speak to them both, except for one long blink, which turned into a full sleep.

SUNDAY

There was no sense of time when you began to stir, only aware that the room was mainly cast into darkness except for the glow from the TV that was still playing whatever trash TV show you’d picked on Netflix.

You’re so incredibly comfortable you have to hold back a groan of pleasure with how content you’re feeling. It was like you were in a cocoon of warmth and contentment as you nuzzled further into the firm yet soft heat beneath your cheek as the bubble surrounding you tightened.

Thump thump. Thump thump. The therapeutic beat against your cheek was something you had already memorised in your dreams.

All the memories came flooding back. The crying, the argument, the locked door, the ice cream and more crying. The locked door. Something you specifically remember doing, yet somehow, you’re wrapped in a boyfriend sandwich, and you’re pretty sure the heavy weight across your feet is Dodger.

In truth, you were happy to be there and had planned to speak to them before your eyes had closed. You’d never fallen asleep during an argument before; it felt unhealthy in a relationship to do, and god knows how stressed Steve and Bucky must have been.

Snuggling closer to Steve’s chest with your back pressed against Bucky’s, you finally feel content after a week of wobbly emotions. You’re sure you need to speak with a therapist or something with how up and down you’ve been all week. You didn’t want to move from this spot ever again.

However, the urgency and pain radiating from your bladder had you cursing. Carefully and with great difficulty, you can wiggle out of your beefy cuddle and sneak to the toilet with Dodger following closely at your side. On the way, you’re able to see the door knob to the room has been shaped like it has been gripped, assuming that Bucky’s metal hand was behind the breaking into the room whilst you’re asleep.

Once in the bathroom, you take in your dishevelled look, showering, freshening up, rebandaging your hand, and dressing in one of Steve’s comfortable jumpers. On your way back to the boys, you pause, overhearing them awake and whispering.

“I told you we shouldn’t have broken in”, Steve groans frustratedly.

“Yeah, well, I’m not sleeping without her”, Bucky argues, his voice crackling lowly from where he’d just woken up.

There’s a momentary pause, and you’re about to go in when they continue. “You don’t think we’ve pushed her too far, do you?” Bucky asks.

“You tell me. She’s not in here now. She’s kept up at arm's length for days. I feel like I can’t do anything right. I just want to keep her safe, but I feel like we’re losing her”.

Broken. That’s how they both sounded, and you have done this. Your eyes sting as they, once again, well with tears, and you move back into the room, pulling the sleeves of your jumper down over your hands to wipe away the moisture.

“I’m sorry I made you both feel this way”.

Strong arms wrap around your body, cradling you carefully against their body as you’re moved to sit across Steve’s lap, and Bucky takes your feet into his lap so that you are facing one another. “I love you both. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know whether it’s my impending period that’s finding everything too overwhelming. I’m sorry!”

You’re hysterical as they both attempt to ground you with soothing shushes and strokes of their hands over your back and legs. “Sweetheart, it’s ok”.

“No, it’s not okay! " Reaching up, you take Steve’s face in your palms and say, “I love you! I would never leave you. EVER!” Next, you hold onto Bucky, half crawling fully into his lap to get your point across: “I love you so much; I’m sorry I wasn’t there to fall asleep in your arms.”

“Hey, hey, calm down, Mama. I’ve got you, we’ve both got you. We aren’t going anywhere”. 

Eventually, you can calm down enough, cuddled up against Bucky with Steve massaging the souls of your feet. You all discuss everything from feeling smothered by them to your up and down moods, feeling incompetent, and yet understanding why they are the way they are to keep you safe. It was like the world had tilted back to the right way up. Boundaries are set, so some understanding will be shared if you ever feel overwhelmed again.

“We just need you to know that we’re never going to stop protecting you until our last fucking breath”, Bucky promises as he kisses your temple.

“Good thing neither of you is going anywhere. Did you really think I’d ever leave either of you? Do I need to remind you of the hell hole you saved me from all those years ago?”

“Yes, and you’ll never have to live like that again. You’re mine and Bucky’s. No one will touch you again”.

If only Steve knew what was to come.

It was the early morning hours after your long chat, but it was late enough for Steve and Bucky to forgo sleeping and head to the office. Having a couple more hours of sleep after they left, you were fresh and ready to go by the time Sam was knocking on your front door.

It had been a long week, so you surprised your bodyguard by hugging him. “Did they tell you about my week?” you ask, needing to know if Sam had been updated about everything from your boyfriends.

“I don't know what you mean” Judging by his tone, he damn well knew what had happened, but nonetheless, his arms tightened around you, “as much as I love your company, the bosses will kill me for touching you”.

You pull back, alarmed to see him trying and failing to hide the smile on his face. Rolling your eyes at his jokes playfully, you climb into the waiting SUV.

“Just a warning, boss lady. There’s a meeting being held over the next 10 minutes,” Sam explains as he pulls into the parking lot that opens into the warehouse.

“Oh? Do you know who it is with?”

Sam shrugs, helping you out of the car whilst looking around at the chaos surrounding him as men and women rush around the crates and trucks. “Some hotshot guy who owns a couple of clubs wants to have the protection of the Rogers team so he can run his underground market. HEY! That’s not supposed to be in that shipment, you dickwad! Sorry, do you mind if I go kick their heads in?”

You know he’s joking, but he nods, grinning as Sam, the group's mother hen, rushes toward the offending truck. “Good luck! I’m going to head to the office. I’m sure the meeting will be over soon.”

Lost in your daydream world, you’re half paying attention as the elevator arrives at the corridor leading to the office. Stepping out and into the elevator, expecting it to be empty but stopping short when, you find a man leaning against the wall, staring at his phone.

The walls felt as if they were caving in. Everything, including your breath and heart, pauses momentarily as you know who it is. You’d know him from his voice, aftershave, and grimy hands. He was one of the many that plagued your nightmares from a past you were trying to forget. No happiness existed when your brother controlled every aspect of your miserable life until Steve bulldozed his way into it. 

Ralph Pannone, the man before you, was one of the highest individuals in your brother's gang, but over the last few months before it all came crashing down - thanks to the Rogers mafia - he had been missing on a job. It had been a relief, if not a blessing, those weeks without him and the years that followed, and it’s easy to think you’re safe from those past demons when they don’t haunt you in reality.

The wolf tattooed on his throat is ingrained into your mind. The silver of his fingers glinted in the dimmed light that was shockingly cool against your skin from all the times he had inappropriately touched your face.

Later in therapy, you would talk about your instinct to freeze when in a shocking, fearful situation. For example, on Monday, when your palm was accidentally cut, and today, staring at one of Hell’s workers in your safe space, all you could do was freeze.

He must have smelt your fear because his face slowly turned to yours, his typical devilish smirk causing your knees to shake. You wanted to scream. Scream for help for Steve and Bucky to save you.

“I was saddened to see my little kitten wasn’t on her knees and waiting for me in that meeting like I thought she would be. But, it appears she wants her own personal meeting”. He’s now walking towards you, and there’s nothing you can do except tremble with fear.

Kitten. That nickname that always had you flinching. It was his favourite thing to call you. He’d say it’s because you’re soft and cut, and whenever he decided he had the right to touch your face, you would swat him away with your ‘sharp little claws’. He was degrading, misogynistic and utterly terrifying.

The tip of his boots brushes against the front of your shoes as you breathe in his nauseating aftershave. “Come on, kitten, cat got your tongue? It’s funny how your brother gave you everything, but it wasn’t enough, was it? You still had to have my BEST friend killed and sleep your way to the top of Brooklyn.”

You finally have a visible response when you flinch away, staring at the floor as you struggle to catch your breath at his derogatory words. Your throat burns with the threat of vomiting as his fingers graze against your forehead, brushing aside a strand of hair until it's tucked behind your ear.

Leaning even closer until his lips are close to his fingers around the shell of your ear, he whispers, “Don’t worry, my sweet kitten. You’re going to be mine soon. These pretend soldiers aren’t going to stop me from getting what’s mine.”

And then he’s gone.

Like that, your world is once again tilted on its axis—the safety net you’d been cocooned in, shattering into dust. Time doesn’t seem to exist when you’re in this state of shock as the next minutes or hours flash by in brief glimpses.

Lying on the floor of the corridor, high-pitched ringing in your ears.

Sam’s face hovered above your own as he shouted, but you couldn’t hear what he said as the world felt muffled. All you could tell was that he was conflicted between being scared and furious.

Now you’re in the office, specifically Steve’s personal office on the couch, your head in Bucky’s lap as Steve paced a hole into the carpet.

Natasha was here, by your side, talking lowly to you. It feels like you’re responding, but you can’t be sure. It was like your body was in a weird limbo of sorts.

Home. At last, you were home, in your bed, with Doctor Banner lightly touching your wrist with his eyes closed. He was counting, you thought, and as he finished and glanced up at your face, he was happy to see you were awake. A bright light flashed in your eyes as you flinched away, trying to shield yourself.

“I’m glad you’re back with us.”

“What happened?” you croaked from the dryness in your throat as you tried to sit up.

“Careful, here’s some water. It appears that you had a panic attack and fainted. Luckily, there doesn’t seem to be any head injuries or lasting injuries. Maybe a bruises here and there. Do you remember what happened? What was the last thing you remember?”

Ralph.

The next thing you know, you’re breathing into a paper bag as the Doctor rubs slow circles over your shoulders, trying to reassure you to breathe slowly. It took a few minutes to calm down before you could ask, “Bucky, Steve, please, I need to see them”.

“Of course, I’ll go right and get them. I’m on call tonight, so please don’t hesitate to get them to phone me if you need anything”.  You’re hardly paying attention as he leaves, and suddenly, you’re first welcomed by a lick on the face by an excited Dodger and arms around your waist and back as Steve and Bucky are finally at your side.

They all hold you as you cry, not a single tear reaching your shirt as either Dodger licks them away or Steve and Bucky wipe them with their fingers.

“I’m not expecting you to explain what has happened, and I have never been more scared than seeing you on the floor, barely conscious, without an obvious reason for it. I want you to know you’re safe, and the threat has been eliminated”.

Turning towards Steve, you give him a questioning look so he continues explaining. “We watched the security camera from the corridor. He saw what he did, and we heard what that scumbag said to you. For some reason, a background check wasn’t completed on him so he could weasel his way into a meeting with us. We found plenty of evidence of his involvement in your brother's gang.” Steve has to take a deep breath as his anger increases again, his jaw tight.

Bucky, therefore, continues, but you can tell by the venom in his voice that his anger is just as severe as his boyfriend's. “It took me minutes to track him down whilst Natasha and Sam stayed by your side. We wanted to stay, but we needed to be the ones to end that fuckers life. I wanted to see the light leave his eyes”.

“To be honest, we killed him too quickly. I wanted to inflict as much pain mentally as he had done to you, but know that he died screaming and begging for his life”. 

Steve and Bucky held no remorse when he came to you. This was the life they lived, the protection they offered for someone they loved.

Appreciation and regret are the two words spiralling through your thoughts. Appreciation for them both, for everything they’ve ever given for you and regret for how you’ve overreacted this week. Yes, you were human; it was expected to have ups and downs days, but right now, there was nothing more you wanted than to show how much you loved them right back.

You were done being the victim.

You’re in Steve’s, thighs burning from the stretch of straddling over his, your fingers desperately clutching into his blonde hair, pulling onto it and drawing his face towards yours. You feel his body tense and then wholly break. Warm hands grip your waist, dominantly tugging your body closer until you flush against him.

“Dodger, go to bed, buddy,” Bucky instructs, clicking towards the door. The good boy that he is, your baby strolls out of the room to his bed downstairs. 

Your hands are all over Steve, combing through his locks, to the stubble on his cheeks, to the muscles over his shoulders. You needed to feel all of him, the softness of his skin, the power in his legs, the hardness of his cock.

“More, I need more”, you beg against his lips whilst trying to undo the buttons of his shirt.

“Woah, ok, hold on a moment”, Steve urges gently whilst cupping both of your hands away from his chest. “I think we need to walk about this. You’ve been through a lot, and I just need to ensure you’re alright”. 

“I can and will talk about this, but not right now. I need a distraction, and I need you to remind me that everything is alright. I need you to remind me that I am yours, and you are both mine, and no one will change that!”

“Damn right, you’re ours”, Bucky growls possessively, tugging on the strands of hair at the nape of your neck, angling your head back and devouring your mouth. At the same time, Steve’s on your throat, leaving open-mouthed kisses and nippin' in the sensitive spots. Your hips instinctively grind against Steve’s crotch, needing pressure and stimulation to your pussy.

You’re rewarded with the outline of Steve’s cock, hard and squished within the confines of his suit trousers. Bucky’s tongue enters your mouth, and he groans at your taste, his sharp teeth catching your lower lip and soothing the bites with more kisses.

“Need this off!” Steve demands as he roughly grabs the hem of your shirt, tearing it down the middle and discarding the pieces across the room. His mouth is then attached to the swell of your breasts, sucking until pain and pleasure pulses in the areas. With a simple snap of his fingers, the clasp of your bra is the next to be removed.

Topless, his bare hands are finally able to cup your breasts, his thumbs pressing on your hardened nipples. “These are mine”, he speaks against your skin before sucking a nipple into his mouth, pulsing the sensitive area until you’re crying out his name against Bucky’s lips.

Your panties feel uncomfortable and restrictive with how warm and wet you are between your legs. However, your needs are the last thing on your mind right now as you need to please your boyfriends and show them your appreciation.

Reaching between your bodies, your fingers press against the swell in Steve’s crotch, massaging the throbbing erection until he’s bucking into your palm. Undoing his buckle and zipper, you’re able to free his cock, moving your tight fist up and down his length as he groans hungrily against your breasts.

With unsteady legs, you climb off Steve’s lap and lower to your knees on the carpet; however, his hands pull up against your arms, stopping your movement. “No, this is supposed to be about you”.

Shaking your head with a reassuring smile, you move back to your knees, massaging your hands up Steve’s thigh. “No, actually. It’s supposed to be about all of us. Now, please, let me suck your cock, sir”.

The name works wonders as his cock visibly throbs against his abdomen, and his eyes darken as he licks his lips. To his side, Bucky pulls off his shirt, muscles flexing as he does so, and you continue with your plan for the rest of the evening. “I want to take you both at the same time. So why don’t you help me, sir?” you’re looking directly at Bucky now, who grins in response.

“Fuck yes, Doll”.

He helps to take off the remainder of your clothes until you’re left kneeling, back arches and ass perked up with Bucky behind you, his hands massaging your ass cheeks.

“I want your pretty little mouth on Steve’s cock whilst I make you cum. Do you think you can do that for me, Princess?” Bucky asks whilst kissing up the length of your spine.

You don’t need to verbally answer him as your mouth is instantly on the blonde’s cock, teasing at first with licks around the sensitive head before wrapping your lips around the thickness and sucking inches of it back into your mouth. You’re welcomed with a sinful gasp from the man who spreads his legs further, giving you more room to settle between them, his big hands resting on the back of your head.

Bucky watched whilst removing the rest of his clothes before delving into his own personal feast. Growling with hunger as he spreads your cheeks and licks from your clit up to your puckered back hole. Your body reacts by pushing back into his face as his tongue slips into your pussy, slurping all your juices lewdly.

His tongue played special treats against your clit, circling, sucking, pulsing whilst his finger dipped into your asshole. He knew exactly how to get you worked up as he used your wetness to lube one finger, then two, gently easing in and out, trying to stretch the area for his cock. It burned, but it was a delicious pain you’d hoped for when asking him to complete the task.

Just as he had three fingers penetrating your hole, your orgasm burst in pleasurable, mind-numbing waves as your pussy squeezed his tongue desperately. Your moan also caused your mouth to vibrate around Steve’s cock as he verbally coached you through your pleasure.

“That’s it, cum around Bucky’s tongue. Taking his fingers so well, aren’t you, baby girl? You’re made for us.”

Nodding with his cock still in your mouth, you’re suddenly pulled off by the hand on the back of your head as Steve leans down to heavily make out with you, not caring that your mouth had just been on his cock. “I need to taste you”, he demands against your mouth, and within seconds, you’re led out over the bed.

His head dips between your thighs, his mouth hungrily eating and sucking away as your back arches, fingers and nails desperately clawing into his hair. “Yes! Sir! Oh my god!”

“Damn right, I’m your god now”, he spoke the words against your clit. Your mind was rushing with the need to agree verbally and yet desperately hold on to his hair.

A cool hand cups your cheek as Bucky tilts your face in his direction, and you open your mouth, accepting his cock as you had done with Steve’s. Bucky isn’t as demanding as he’s fucking your mouth as he rolls his hips carefully so that he’s slowly fucking your throat.

It takes almost no time at all before there’s overwhelming tightness between your legs like everything down there is going to explode. Pulling away from Bucky’s cock, you cry out, “I can’t- it’s too much!”

“Yes, you can. Come for us, Baby,” Steve encouraged as he slipped two fingers into your wet pussy, curling them to hit that perfect spot within. That was all you needed to both cum and relax all your muscles between your legs, and without shame, you could feel the bed soaking beneath you as Steve and Bucky cheered you on, “That’s it, squirt for us! Damn, you’re so beautiful”.

The breath is knocked out of you by the time the waves of pleasure have subsided. However, your arousal is still at a ten as Steve’s arms circle beneath your body, and you’re now koalaed around him. Arms around his shoulders and ankles crossed behind his back.

“Steve!” your head tips back as the thick length of him slowly enters your pussy. No matter the number of times the two of you fucked, there was never a time when you weren’t shocked by how full you felt with him inside of you.

“Feels so good to be inside of you. Do you think you can still take Buck?”

“Yes, please, sir, I need you both inside of me”.

The warmth of Bucky’s chest finally surrounds your spine as he kisses the junction between your shoulder and neck. “Easy there, got to be careful when slipping this big dick in this tight little hole back here”, Bucky teases as you feel the head of his cock pressing against your asshole.

Your head tips back and rests on his shoulder, mouth gaping open with a constant string of curses and pleads. Much like with his fingers, the initial burn mixing with the pleasure is the perfect mix as the head of his cock gently breaches your warmth.

“You’re so fucking wet and tight”, Bucky moans against your neck as you take inch after inch of him until you’re stretched and full of them both.

The first orgasm with both of them fucking you at the same time is enough to nearly have you passing out again as you continue to squirt until there’s a small puddle on the floor.

The second orgasm has every nerve in your body feel as if it’s burning with pleasure. You’re entirely limp in their arms, but they’re holding you up with firm hands on your thighs and waist. By the third orgasm, you were hardly coherent as both men finally joined you in that blissful state, their cum filling your used holes and dripping into the puddle below.

It was hard for you to stay awake as they carefully cleaned you with warm wash clothes and fresh clothing. You’re thoroughly wrapped in their arms as the three of you settle into the centre of the bed.

“I’m so happy to be yours”, you admit tiredly before sleep takes you.

[yavvana]

I can't get over how fucking awful Mythal actually was.

Don't read below this if you haven't finished Veilguard, lmao.

The fact that Solas wore her vallaslin, and somehow still saw her as a friend, and trusted and loved her enough to do everything she asked of him makes me so angry/sad. Friends don't make their friends wear slave markings on their faces. Him being called her lapdog by Elgar'nan makes so much more sense.

And then Solas goes and accepts the blame for decisions that she made, and then manipulated him into agreeing to, and she fucking accepts no fault! If you confront her about the Blight when you meet her in the Crossroads, she basically just says, "not my problem."

And he blames himself for her death because he couldn't convince her to walk away from the Evanuris! But really, sorry Mythal, that's her own fucking fault?! She saw herself as above Solas, so she refused to heed his warnings, and then Elgar'nan killed her because Elgar'nan's a bitch.

And then if you pick the good ending, and Solas sees her again, you cannot tell me that his reaction to her is not one of someone who has been abused being confronted by their abuser. The way he curls around the dagger...Mythal, when I get my hands on you, Mythal...And then she says, "I release you from my service." Bitch. I wanted my Lavellan to punch her ghost with her prosthetic hand so fucking bad, lmao.

Solas was a spirit of wisdom! And she corrupted him from his purpose. If he had stayed a spirit, he would have become a pride demon because of her manipulations.

Cole has a couple of lines in DAI that I can't stop fucking thinking about.

"He didn't want a body, but she asked him to come. He left a scar when he burned her off his face."

And, "He wants to give wisdom, not orders."

Solas gets to be himself in Inquisition. He gets to return to giving wisdom. Regardless of whether or not you're romancing him, if you're not a dick to him, he offers these beautiful stories about the Fade, and GDL does a fucking incredible job of making each of them sound poetic as fuck. And he's so kind to all the companions. Even Vivienne who has so much contempt for him, and he tries to offer her advice when he notices things about her magic that he finds...unsettling, lmao. Like their interaction about her staff's aura and him being like, "Are you sure that's the aura you want your staff to have, I can cleanse it for you?" And she's just like, "Yup." And he just lets it go.

When he leaves the Inquisition, Solas forces himself to be what Mythal made him. Which makes the line, "You are Mythal's creature now!" so distressingly ironic.

People talk about how he hates the Dalish elves, and Qunari, but that's just factually inaccurate. He's frustrated by the Dalish because he spent how many years fighting to free the elves from the influence of the Evanuris, only to wake from uthenera to find that he is the villain in all their tales, and the Evanuris are regarded as gods. And when he tried to tell a clan the truth, they tried to kill him! And he doesn't hate the Qunari, he hates the Qun. He hates that under the Qun, people do not get to make their own decisions.

Iron Bull's biggest fear is becoming a rabid Tal'Vashoth, and he expresses as much to Solas. And if you play as a Qunari, Solas points out in party banter that Inky isn't rabid.

If you have Iron Bull side with the Chargers, Solas checks in on Bull several times in party banter, assuring Bull he won't become like the Tal'Vashoth that he fought in Seheron. Because Bull has the Inquisition, and his friends, and Solas. And then they play mental chess, and if that's not friendship, idk what is.

And his interactions with Sera, who doesn't think she's elfy enough, so she makes fun of elfy things as a defence mechanism, are fucking hilarious. The way he gets her to talk about the Fade by asking her about the Breach, and what she sees when she looks at it, and you kinda see that Sera is a lot more elfy than she realizes. And then when she realizes it and gets mad, he basically tells her it's payback for her filling his bedroll with lizards. And she just fucking giggles and is like, "yeah, fair." (These two are my absolute favorite characters in DAI and I would die for either of them, lmao) But he kinda makes her connect with her heritage even though she doesn't want to, and I think that's good for her.

Solas also gets angry with Blackwall, not for lying about actually being Thom Rainier, but because Blackwall led his men into fights, and to their deaths in many instances, for nothing more than his greed. And then he APOLOGIZES for that interaction. And Blackwall tells him it's fine, that Solas was right, and he deserved it. And then Solas commends him for taking the first step towards redemption by owning his past and his mistakes.

And then there's him and Varric constantly joking about having to clean up messes made by humans, and "Why are an elven apostate and a dwarf here, again?" Their interactions are some of my favorites, and it's why I firmly believe that if there had been one more wolf statuette to find, it would have been his regret over Varric's death.

Solas deserved better than having Mythal as a "friend." She manipulated and corrupted him. And then let him take the fall for things that she did. She regrets NOTHING about what they did to the Titans. Meanwhile, it's one of his biggest regrets.

Anyway, I love the Egg, and I hate Mythal. That is all. I hope Solas and my Lavellan Inky get to have plenty of Fade-ordered therapy. They both fucking need it.

[crazylittlejester]

Warriors prepared himself for Twilight to die and still isn't over it, an analysis by me

I wrote a ton of analysis posts going into further detail on how uncharacteristically down Warriors was acting in nearly every update since Twilight was first injured, so I'm not going to do super in depth on the stuff prior to the most recent arc, but to recap:

(art cred @/linkeduniverse from Sunset 13)

When Twilight was talking about how he could literally feel himself dying, Wars was like the only one who wasn't horrified, he looked accepting in a way. He's a soldier, he fought in a war, he's very used to death. He tried to keep everything together and help the others as best as he could, and I'm just making an assumption that there was a lot he did behind the scenes to help care for the others when Time was with Twilight and Hyrule in Sunset 14. We see Warriors smile and joke around in Dawn 2 when he sees Twilight is okay, but it seems like followig this initial relief he's a bit more down than usual, he also seems a little tired

(Dawn 3)

The Dawn arc really brought out a much different side of him than we'd seen before, he had lower energy and while previously he'd been screwing around and cracking jokes, we saw him tell Legend and Hyrule in Dawn 7 to stop poking fun of Sky and stop interrupting, which was something he himself had literally done in Regroup

and while Warriors does go back to acting more like himself towards the end of the Dawn arc into where we are now, he sticks VERY close to Twilight in like every update since

I mean he was even the one to bring him his horse in Dawn 9

And in today's update, Central Room 2, him telling Time his whole plan really just seems like HE'S the one who desperately needs to keep an eye on Twilight:

Wars, sweetheart... "If you're that concerned, I could keep an eye on him" king it's okay to be worried about your friend, promise 😭

I just think he really really prepared himself for Twilight to die so that he'd be able to keep himself together and help the others grieve and now that Twilight's NOT dead he's a Bit worried about him, because it's probably hitting him now how terrifying the whole situation was. Like yeah he knew it was bad, that's why he's so stressed out about Wild and is being a bit overprotective of him, but I think the EMOTIONS and the stress are starting to hit him, but he can't suddenly let it slam into him so he's trying to play it off like "it's okay Time i'll watch the rancher" as if he ALSO can't leave Twi alone for two seconds. He's just as bad as Time is lmao

anyways this is all just my opinion i just wanted to share my thoughts, hes my special guy 🫶

[hannieehaee]

First of all 'closer' is one of the greatest svt fics i've ever read. I could just feel all the wild butterflies aaaaaaaaaa and I still reread it from time to time

Also I've been thinking about mean dom jeonghan a lottttt. So can I request dom jeonghan x reader with like lots of nipple play (idk how you feel abt anal but if you're uncomfortable no need to add it!)

Feel free to scrape this if you're uncomfortable or simply not interested <3

18+ / mdi

content: softdom!jeonghan cuz im really bad at writing doms oops, nipple play, smut, dry humping, anal fingering and anal penetration, afab reader, teasing, jh is an asshole lmao, etc.

wc: 1427

a/n: thank u so much!!! thats my most popular fic haha i had no idea people would like it this much but it makes me so happy<33

a/n 2: also can u tell idk anything about anal oops</3

masterlist

"told you not to argue back, baby. now look where your bad behavior got you."

every word that left his lips did so condescendingly. had it been anyone else (or even under a different context), you wouldve argued back, protected your dignity.

but this was jeonghan. and you were sitting between his legs as you suffered through every one of his touches.

maybe suffering was a bit harsh, but that's exactly how it felt at the moment. his hands had not stopped their torture in the past hour, alternating between circling your clit and finding their way north and on your nipples, liberal in the way he pulled and twisted at them.

endless whines and breaths of frustration left you (meddled in with sounds of genuine pleasure), which you were sure went straight to the length currently pressed up against your back.

"you know this isn't the worst of it, right, baby?", he taunted, "wait til i get my hands to even more fun places. or when i finally put my mouth on you," you could hear the mischief in his voice.

and soon enough, he made good on his word. before even realizing what happened, you were on your back and your gremlin of a boyfriend was smirking above you as he leaned down to kiss at your chest.

it started off slow, soft, just as everything did with jeonghan. but it evolved into teasing and eye-watering. his lips wrapped around your nipple, eyes still on your face as he sucked at it. soft wafts of air were let out against your skin as he breathed through his nose, mouth too occupied on your tits.

"you're so fucking soft, baby. so pretty," and despite the teasing, he continued to be sweet to you.

the juxtaposition between the pleasure from his words and his lack of finesse while sucking at your tits made goosebumps form on your skin. your hand found his hair, pushing him closer, wanting more of both the softness and the harshness.

"love when i play with your tits, don't you, baby? naughty thing," he chuckled, finding your other boob.

meanwhile, his hips had been grinding into your own, molding against them while he entertained himself with your boobs. one of his hands laid itself next to your head to hold himself up while the other played with your neglected tit. you were thoroughly stimulated, yet you knew jeonghan would somehow try to go even further.

and you were proven correctly when his hand left your boob to find its way between your legs. but unexpectedly to you, instead of moving to play with your clit, he bypassed it to reach lower. your body followed with his silent desire, scooting up to give him access.

it was unspoken. his mouth remained occupied with your chest, leaving it more raw and sensitive by the second. his fingers found your hole while you were distracted by his mouth nibbling and pulling at your left nipple, gasping out at both the sudden intrusion and the bite.

"like that, baby? shit, so tight for me. can't wait to see how tight you'll be around my cock," he breathed out as if picturing it.

it didn't take him long to find that spot that had your eyes rolling back. and in usual jeonghan fashion, he made liberal use of it, taking turns in stimulating it and missing it altogether just to get you to cry out in frustration.

"god, you're so easy, baby. i can touch you anywhere and you cry," he chuckled, "such a sensitive little thing."

with his lips still on your chest, he mocked your moans between flicks of his tongue. it was too much. your breasts were overriding with sensitivity, but it felt too good to tell him to stop. you couldn't make a sound anymore. all that left you were hiccuped gasps or silent whines.

at every whine leaving your lips, jeonghan hummed into your chest, encouraging the sounds you made for him and even mocking you at times. it was so frustrating, so damn annoying, but it felt too good for any words of complaint to actually leave your lips.

"you know i won't make you cum, right, baby?", and his fingers suddenly left you. you could feel a smirk and the vibration of a cackle against your tit.

your whine of complaint was only met by a bite to your nipple, making you whine even louder.

"tsk, it's so hard having such a whiny girl begging me to touch her 24/7," he feigned annoyance, "but, maybe if you get on all fours for me, i might consider fucking you," he said it with a patronizing tone that made you want to sock him in the face, but you knew your body.

and so when he distanced himself from you, you willingly turned around, using your elbows for support as you lifted your hips up for him to take into his hands, positioning you against his crotch and teasingly grinding against you.

"see what a good girl you are? you deserve a reward, angel."

instead of reaching into the drawer for the usual condom, you heard the clacking of items as he blindly pulled out a bottle. you heard him struggle to open, letting out a few very jeonghan-like sounds as he opened the lube and squirted out a generous amount on his hands.

being the annoying tease he was, he made sure to slip his fingers in once again, muttering some half-assed excuse that he wanted to check just one last time to see if you were ready for him. your complains were met by a squeeze of your hips and a childish bite to your left hip.

"be good, baby. you were being so good, don't stop now," he tsk'd, "i'll give it to you now, okay?"

it wasn't often that jeonghan made use of your other hole. it was usually saved for special occasions. something about wanting to enjoy it as an extra treat every so often. some very jeonghan reason.

it was a bit of a struggle, but you were always reminded of how worth it it was when you'd hear his moans of struggle as he attempted not to cum within the first few seconds inside you.

"always so tight through here, baby. fucking strangling my dick," he sighed, "but you're ready for me, right, pretty? need me to fuck you now?"

you wailed at him when his hand rounded you, teasing at your clit as his hips began to move behind you. the angle must've been a little awkward for him, but he made it work. he made it work far too good.

"oh god, baby, fuckin' made for me, huh?", he groaned out.

the room was filled with jeonghan's occasional whining and the rhythmic slapping of skin. you were mostly mute, only crying out when he decided to hump at you extra hard in hopes of that exact effect.

"can never last when you're this tight," he whined, "so mean to me. always making me cum so soon," he complained in between thrusts.

he became frantic then, pushing you further into the bed, resulting in your head pressing up on the comforter and drooled. you were a mess, but you were comforted in the fact that jeonghan wasn't likely to be faring any better.

"hannie ..." was all you could mumble as your words muffled. you wanted to warn him, but he knew your body so well that he already knew.

"i know, baby, me too. let go, angel," he sighed out one last time.

you might've blacked out a bit. or maybe he did. perhaps both. it wasn't long til you found yourself lying on that exact same position, except jeonghan was no longer inside you but rather doing his weak attempt at flipping you over so you could cuddle him despite the mess forming between you.

"you make this so hard for me when you pass out," he grumbled jokingly, finally getting you to nuzzle into his neck.

his lips kissed at any area available, even ending up at your arm and sternum at some point. he didn't usually care as long as he was kissing you.

"then don't fuck my ass, you idiot," you bit at his arm, earning a 'wah!" from him.

"brat."

"says you."

he chuckled, giving you a peck on your lips this time.

"i'll give you five minutes before another failed attempt at cleaning you up," he warned.

"sure, old man."

and that earned you a bite in return.

[joostsblog]

joost klein x fem!reader who has a thing for his hands? loving when his hands wander all around her body.. fingering her during a pre-party then dragging her to hus room to finish the poor girl off both of them competing in eurovision

maybe joost even whispering things in her ear.. lots of neck kisses and reader wakes up in the morning neck, thighs, collarbones basically her whole body having hickeys ☺️

tysm if u do this

here you go :)

the one about his hands and also waking up covered in hickeys ~ joost klein smut

My masterlist here ✨💌

Pairing: Joost Klein x fem!eurovision contestant!reader

Description: Only fantasising about Joost's hands just isn't enough. You need to get the fellow eurovision contestant to actually touch you where you need to be touched.

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: in this version of eurovision no drama is happening, no dq etc, everything is just nice ❣️ i'm leaving for vacation tomorrow (to the netherlands actually lmao) so i probably won't be able to write anything for two week, i'm sorry babes :( filling up my inbox with requests, thoughts, feedback etc is still encouraged tho 💌

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, SMUT, nsfw, fingering (f receiving), protected sex, piv, swearing, consumption of cigarettes, not proofread

His hands were the first thing you noticed about the man. The way he held out his hand in front of you, greeting you with a handshake (which you thought was a bit odd). His hand felt firm yet gentle in yours and you couldn't help but admire the digits tattooed on his fingers.

"Nice to meet you," he had smiled at you and your heart had fluttered just a bit.

Your quick infatuation with Joost and his hands really was poorly timed. You were at eurovision to represent your country and you were supposed to be on your best behaviour. Absolutely no distractions allowed. Too bad thoughts of the blonde dutch man doing ungodly things to you kept intruding into your mind.

So you really shouldn't be spending as much time with him as you did. Always finding an excuse to talk to him in between rehearsals or at breakfast (your favourite because it meant you saw Joost's messy hair in the morning and maybe sometimes you imagined your hands were the ones responsible for that). Your vocal coach would be furious with you if she found out that you had been starting to sneak off with Joost whenever he went for a smoke. Just talking and laughing with him as you watched him smoke. Always paying close attention to those hands when he lifted one of them to his mouth to take a drag in between sentences.

"I think I might be a bad influence on you," he said. "You need to take care of your pretty voice," he mused with a smirk and you swear you caught him eyeing you up and down.

"Don't worry about me, I'm already corrupted," you joked.

"Really, how so?" Joost asked with a grin.

You watched as Joost took another drag, his cigarette delicately placed between his fingers. Oh, what those hands could be capable of doing to you. You couldn't help but let your thoughts wander off again. You wondered how his hands would feel on your hips if you were sat on his lap, his hands guiding you to grind against him. How his hands would feel in your hair, pulling on it while his mouth would kiss along your neck. How his hands would on your throat while he would thrust into you. How his fingers would feel slowly pumping inside of you, hitting all the right spots.

Joost raised an eyebrow when he noticed your absent state.

"You will have to find out," you said smirking.

"Mysterious, I like it," Joost said and finished off his cigarette. "After you," he said after he opened the door. You walked past Joost and your hands lightly brushed against Joost's. Shivers on down your spine.

You decided that maybe the only solution to your problem was to actually get into Joost's pants. Because then all your thoughts and fantasies about the man wouldn't have to plague your mind anymore when they would become reality. So you decided you would do anything in your power to achieve your goal.

~

You were sitting across Joost in a waiting area. He was handsomely dressed in that black jacket with the dark europe tie and his glasses with the thick brims. His fingers were nervously playing with the cord of his headphones. He looked ravishing. You crossed your legs which caused your thighs to be on full display with the short skirt you were wearing. You hoped Joost would notice and maybe also think about how his hands would feel so good on your thighs (and other places also).

"Excited for tonight?" you asked Joost.

"Huh?" he asked confused.

"The semifinals preparty," you reminded him.

"Oh, yeah," he nodded as he remembered. "Are you gonna be there?" he asked.

"Only if you're there," you said and Joost smiled.

"Then I'll be there, anything for you," he said.

"Anything?" you asked cheekily. Joost narrowed his eyes at you and gave you a grin.

"You will have to find out."

~

Joost's eyes immediately landed on you as you saw him enter the party. You were swaying your hips to the beat, hands up in the air as you enjoyed yourself on the dancefloor. You grinned at Joost and he didn't need to be told twice as he made his way over to you. You wrapped your arms around Joost's neck to hug him hello, still swaying to the music. Instead of hugging you, Joost put his hands on your hips and smiled at you as he probably assumed you wanted to dance with him. You didn't complain. The thin fabric of your skirt didn't serve much as a barrier between your skin and Joost's grip and still you wished the skirt was gone. Your fingertips cautiously dipped into the hair at the nape of Joost's neck and Joost responded by pulling you closer to him. It still wasn't close enough. Joost leaned down to whisper into your ear.

"You look very nice," his breath ghosted over the skin on your neck and your breath hitched.

"You do too," you said and it was almost sweet. You needed to get him out of here as fast as possible. "You wanna go for a smoke?" you proposed.

"I don't have any cigs left," Joost said.

"I think I saw a cigarette vending machine in the lady's restroom," you said and took Joost's hand in yours to lead him through the crowd. As you reached the door to the restroom you could feel Joost hesitating. "Don't worry, there's no one inside," you said and scurried through the door frame. The door closed behind Joost and the music was reduced to some sounds in the distance. Beside the vanity was the vending machine you had spoken of.

"This is a condom vending machine," Joost stated.

"Oh," you giggled. You took out a euro from your purse and proceeded to buy one condom. "Well," you said as you took the condom from the slot. "There's always other vices you could indulge in instead," you smirked at him.

"What are you proposing?" Joost asked, his hand leaning against the wall beside you.

"What does it sound like I'm proposing?" you looked up at him, condom in hand.

Joost took the condom from your fingers and put it in his pocket before he leaned down and his lips crashed into yours. His right hand held the back of your head, the other grabbed you by your hips. Your lips hungrily moved in sync with each other before they opened and your tongues met. Your arms wrapped around Joost to pull his body closer to yours. You wanted him to feel your breasts pressed against his chest. You sighed into the kiss as you could tell that this kiss alone wouldn't satiate either of you. You blindly reached for the door of one of the stalls and pushed it open before you both stumbled into it.

You broke off the kiss briefly to lock the door of the stall, Joost's mouth eagerly kissing along your neck instead. His hands were resting on your waist, slowly pushing up the fabric of your top to reveal your stomach. You were pressed against the wall of the bathroom stall, not an inch left between you. Joost's lips found yours again. You opened your legs slightly so Joost's leg could slip in between yours. His right hand trailed down your hip until it rested on your upper thigh. You couldn't stop yourself from grinding your hip against Joost's thigh as vivid images of him fucking into you flickered through your mind. You moaned against Joost's lips as you desperately needed to make your wants known.

"I- I- I need," you tried to get out in between kisses. "I need you."

"You got me," Joost murmured against your skin as he kissed down your neck again. "Don't worry, m’en meisje."

His hand ghosted up your thigh and pushed up the hem of your skirt. Your arousal was hot with anticipation. As his hand reached your panties his fingers softly grazed over the fabric right where your clit was. Your hips bucked lightly and Joost grinned against the skin of your neck.

"So eager," Joost tutted.

His fingers carefully pushed your panties to the side until his fingers could dip into your folds. Your head fell back and you bit into your lip to stifle any moans you otherwise would have let out if you two were in private.

Your folds were slick with arousal eliminating any friction as Joost's fingers started circling your clit.

"You're so wet for me," Joost whispered against your ear. Your hands were desperately grabbing onto his shoulders, keeping yourself upright as your knees buckled. Joost's other hand was resting by your side, keeping you close to him. "So ready for me," he said, voice as soft as ever.

Joost stopped circling your clit and you almost let out a groan in frustration. His fingers inched closer to your entrance until they slipped inside of you. Your mouth slacked open, eyes tightly squeezed shut and Joost's hand caressing your side. Your nails dug into Joost's skin as his fingers slowly pumped in and out of you.

"You feel so good," Joost murmured against your ear. "I bet you would feel so good around my cock." You let out a loud moan as his words triggered your vivid fantasy. "Would you like that?" Joost grinned against your skin. "Me fucking you properly?"

"God, Joost," you could only whimper.

"God, you're barely holding it together," Joost whispered. "You're so good for me," he said as he continued pumping his fingers in and out of you.

Suddenly you could hear the restroom door fling open and the voices of two women enter. Joost swiftly pressed his hand on top of your mouth but still continued moving his fingers inside of you. Your mind didn't even register what the voices outside the bathroom stall were talking about as all your mind was occupied with was Joost. Your body was trembling and you did everything in your power to keep yourself from orgasming right then and there as you knew that you would not be able to keep quiet through it. Joost pressed gentle kisses to the skin on your neck as your heavy breathing only intensified.

A few moments later the door closed and you were alone again. Just as you were about to allow yourself to climax Joost withdrew his fingers from you, leaving you trembling uncontrollably.

"Pleaseplease, Joost please," you could only press out. Joost's hand caressed your side and his lips trailed along your neck.

"Sshhh, mijn lieverd," Joost shushed, slowly brushing your hair behind your ear. "I need you to be a little bit more patient," he looked at you fondly. "I'm gonna take you back to my room and we're gonna do this properly." You let out a frustrated groan. You could feel your slick arousal almost dripping down your legs. Joost smoothed down your skirt and top (and his own pants that hid his raging boner) and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips. "Come on," Joost said with a grin, his hand held out for you to take as you still stood there dumbfounded.

Reluctantly you took Joost's hand and let yourself be led outside the restroom. You didn't take too many steps before you noticed Mona, one of the stylists on your delegation come up to you.

"(Y/N)!" she hugged you. "How are you?" Mona asked and you just stared at her blankly for a few seconds.

"Yeah, I'm good," you managed to sound out. Mona raised her eyebrows amused.

"Are you drunk? I thought they didn't serve alcohol here," she laughed. Joost looked at you with a knowing smirk.

"Aaaww, she's just a little exhausted," Joost saved you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders playfully. "I was just gonna walk her to her room."

"Oh yeah, she probably just needs some rest," Mona agreed. "We need her on her best game tomorrow," she joked and squeezed your shoulder lightly. "See you tomorrow!"

"See you," you smiled weakly as Mona walked away. Joost giggled beside you. "Shut up," you said and rammed your elbow into his ribs.

"Alright, let's get out of here."

Joost could barely close the hotel room door behind him before your lips were attacking each other again. Hands quickly roaming each other's bodies, grabbing onto any piece of clothing you could get a hold of to get rid of it. Joost's t-shirt was the first to go, swiftly followed by your top and bra. Your fingers fiddled with Joost's belt as the back of your knees hit the bed and you fell on it. You lay on top of it, only your short skirt covering you. Joost grinned down at you, observing your body spread out in front of him as he unbuckled his belt and took off his pants before he joined you on the bed.

You anticipated his lips to press onto yours again but instead, they found your neck again. His hands held onto your waist as you wrapped your arms around his neck and buried them in his hair, softly massaging his scalp. As Joost situationed himself in between your legs you could feel his hard-on press against your vulva through the fabric of your clothes. You let out a moan and Joost hummed approvingly against your skin as you could finally voice your lust for him.

Joost's mouth slowly moved down to your collarbones, alternating between peppering your skin with kisses and sucking at it. His fingers found the hem of your skirt and as he kissed along down your body he pulled the skirt down as well until you were only left in your panties. Your chest was heaving with how heavy your breathing was, anticipating Joost's next move. You let out a groan as his lips connected with the skin of your inner thighs.

"Stop being such a tease," you groaned and Joost grinned against your skin. Joost's fingers hooked in your panties before he finally pulled them down.

"What is it that you want, mijn lieverd?" Joost asked innocently.

"Jesus fucking Christ," you moaned frustrated. "I want you to fuck me finally."

"With pleasure."

Joost got up from the bed and you watched as he got rid of his underwear and you admired his length.

"Hurry," you nagged and Joost rolled his eyes with a soft laugh before he put on the condom you had bought earlier and got back in bed.

"So needy," he tutted, his lips just softly grazing yours. You held onto Joost's shoulders, his hand holding the side of your face before he slowly pushed into you. Your eyes momentarily blacked out as the pleasure spread throughout your body. Joost grunted against your skin also being lost to the pleasure. "So good for me," he praised and you wondered how much longer you would be able to keep it together.

He started slowly moving in and out of you. The slow rhythm, your hands in his hair and his lips pressed to your neck made all of this almost romantic. You wrapped your legs around Joost's hips to help him penetrate into you even deeper. With your hands in his hair, you grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled his head from where he was still kissing your neck until his lips found yours again. You moaned into the messy open-mouthed kiss before you softly pulled his hair again to make him look at you.

"Harder," you begged and Joost grinned at you.

Joost snaked his arm around your body to keep you in place, your bodies almost pressed against each other before he started pounding into you. Your nails dug into the skin on Joost's back as the moans tumbled out of your mouth uncontrollably. With each thrust, you were edging closer to your orgasm as Joost hit all the right spots inside of you. The sounds Joost was letting out of his mouth were heavenly, his grip on you dominant yet caring.

"You feel so good," Joost grunted and the sound of his voice pushed you over the edge.

Your back arched off the bed, your breath hitched and your muscles clenched until the wave of pleasure crashed down over you and you came with a series of obscene moans. As you were still riding out your high you noticed Joost's thrust becoming slopier and his moans louder until he came with stuttering hips and plopped down beside you.

You looked at each other breathing heavily and both let out a soft laugh. Joost lifted his arm to invite you to cuddle up to him. You rested your head on Joost's shoulder, your fingers softly drawing along the lines of Joost's tattoo on the side of his stomach.

"Was this okay?" Joost asked. "Are you okay?"

"Of course," you smiled. "This was perfect."

~

The ringing of your alarm on your phone woke you two up in the morning. Your limbs were entangled with Joost's, his heartbeat steady where your hand was laid on his chest. Joost rubbed his eyes, his hair messy and you never saw him look any cuter.

"What's this?" he complained before you got out of bed to turn off your alarm. As you turned around to face Joost again you noticed his eyes widen in shock. You stopped.

"What's up?" you asked blushing as Joost stared at your naked body. Confused you looked down your body and let out a gasp. "Fuck fuck fuck," you whispered, your hand in front of your lips. "This is bad." You sat down on the edge of the bed and you could feel Joost shift behind you to get closer to you. You looked down at your thighs which were littered in pink and purple hickeys. You desperately rubbed your fingers over them as if doing that could help you get rid of them.

"Oh, liefde," Joost said, his hand cautiously resting on your waist. "I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," you laughed unconvincingly, trying to calm yourself down. Joost's fingers softly grazed your collarbones and you looked down only to discover even more hickeys. "Oh god," you groaned.

"On your neck as well," Joost said meekly.

You put your face into your hands and cursed yourself for having chosen a very revealing stage outfit. "It's fine," you actually laughed this time.

"Are you sure?" Joost looked at you like a puppy who had just been caught breaking an expensive vase.

"Yes," you said and wrapped your arms around his neck. "Nothing some good foundation and an impromptu costume change can fix," you said although you already dreaded what you would have to tell your delegation about those hickeys. You leaned forward to gently kiss Joost's lips. "It was worth it," you said after pulling back and Joost gave you the proudest sweetest smile you had ever seen. Definitely worth it.