#this sounds vain but i think the thing i'm most worried about is my hair falling out
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
elprupneerg · 24 days ago
Text
after i got diagnosed, i started lurking a bit in the r/lupus subreddit. not super often, just peaking in to get a feel for what advice people give each other. and i'd kinda kept myself from freaking out too bad about things. cuz sure i'm gonna have to take meds for the rest of my life, but at least i'm not one of those poor guys who have to go on an immune system suppressant and have to figure out how to navigate a world where people don't give a shit about spreading illnesses while being unable to get the full benefits of vaccination.
ahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa. fuck. i am poor guys now.
2 notes · View notes
ephemeral-roses · 9 months ago
Text
Since it's been months, I am now forcing myself to be a brave little boy to post my process on my version of Ares, along with some art of Aphrodite. And sorry if the post is tagged weirdly, I still am unsure how to properly tag posts. I post every blue moon, so I don't think I still have an understanding of it.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
These are my most recent and decent art of him, and I got a few notes on his design.
● His first scar is the one on his cheek, but it wasn't from any war or battle. When he was younger, he was exactly what one would imagine Ares to be, very arrogant and proud, with fighting on his mind despite having never been to any battles. He would play a game where he and someone would spar, and whoever gets the biggest scar wins. Hermes lost, only because he was so good at it.
● The tattoos he has are from Thrace, where he is said to have been born and was his favorite place. The symbol on the back of his hand is a snake, relating to them being one of his sacred animals.
And here is some art of him I made a few months ago, based on some paintings I've found of him. My favorite genre of Ares art is when he is dorned with flowers, the Erotes are playing with his weapons, and he is very happy with Aphrodite. It makes me very delighted.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Speaking of Aphrodite, this is what she looks like. I got a few notes on her personality and design.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
● Since she is Aphrodite, she is very vain, focusing on her physical appearance a lot and becoming emotional whenever someone undermines or doubts her beauty, with the ability to become wrathful.
● But, as a mother, she is able to self-love aside for her children, putting her entire attention to them. Before she gets with Ares, she has already had a handful of children with previous lovers. Ares doesn't mind, of course.
● Her design is, of course, based on her origins from the sea and her being a sea goddess.
● She emerged from seafoam but was then taken in by Dione.
● Despite valuing her appearance and the way she presents herself and encouraging others to do the same, she does have one little quirk she inherited from her years living in the ocean. She eats like a beast, especially when it comes to seafood. When it is in her sight, she is devouring it like a wildwoman. This is just being very silly and having fun. Don't worry about it.
● Her little, uh, braid thing (I guess, I don't know what you'd call it exactly, I'm not good with hair) is divided into 7 sections, for the 7 types of Greek love. I'm gonna be transparent here. This is me trying to sound clever and creative when I'm not.
● When she is upset, whether sad or angry, her body starts resorting back to water and seafoam. I still can't find out how to draw it, unfortunately, even though the visuals look cool in my mind.
I am gonna try to post more frequently, especially the designs I've come up for the other gods. So far, this is all I could bring my energy to post.
84 notes · View notes
ro-is-struggling · 2 years ago
Note
Hi!! I was thinking that 6 (song) would go amazingly with Steve like maybe he’s still hung up on Nancy but like reader is in love with him? ASDFGHJKL if you could make this possible I’d dieeeee. Thank you so much
Hi beautiful! thank you so much for participating in the celebration and I'm sorry it took me so long to get to your request, I'm going through stuff lol but despite that I had a great time writing this fic even though it's pure angst with no happy ending. I hope you're ready to cry!
One Last Time || Steve Harrington x Reader
Summary: You knew Steve was still in love with Nancy, but you didn't care. All you cared about was holding him in your arms one last time. 
Warnings: angst, unrequited love kinda, jealousy, no happy ending
English is not my first language 
Word count: 1700
This fic is part of my 600 followers celeration
Tumblr media
Sitting alone at the table with dinner served, your gaze traveled from the clock to the door passing by the phone as you waited for a signal from Steve. You were supposed to have a date. You cooked for him, put on a nice outfit and styled your hair, only to have him stand you up. Again. It wasn't the first time Steve had been late for one of your dates and you knew it wouldn't be the last, not as long as she was still in his life. 
Nancy Wheeler was the reason behind all your problems, fears and insecurities. She was everything you weren't —pretty, smart, charismatic, popular— and even though her relationship with Steve had ended a long time ago, she still held the key to his heart. He was still in love with her and it seemed there was nothing you could do to change that. No matter how hard you tried to push her out of his heart, to replace her, it was all in vain. He would never look at you the way he looked at her.
Of course Steve wouldn't admit that out loud. When he was with you he would shower you with gifts and compliments, telling you how happy he was to have you by his side and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. But you knew those were half-truths. He did love you, but not like he loved Nancy. You didn't need to hear him say it to know it, you could sense it in his kisses and the way he looked at you. That special sparkle in his eyes when he looked at her disappeared when he turned his gaze to you. 
You were his consolation prize, his second choice. He was with you because he couldn't be with her, you knew that from your first date. You knew he didn't love you but still you stayed by his side, keeping the naive illusion that someday things would change. You hoped you could make him fall in love with you over time, show him that he had nothing to miss about his relationship with Nancy. Unlike her, you did love him and you hoped that would be enough to make him forget about her.
Still, your relationship wasn't terrible. Most of the time you didn't even remember Nancy and all that she entailed since Steve didn't mention her very often. All of your friends agreed that you were a wonderful couple. You two loved each other and spent most of your free time together. Steve loved to take you on dates and give you gifts, although your favorite times with him were when you would lie on the couch and watch a movie cuddling, enjoying each other's warmth and company. You forgot all your worries when he wrapped his arms around you and held you close to his body, finding peace in the soft sound of his heart beating against his chest. The world around you ceased to exist in those moments, there were no fears or insecurities, just you and Steve.
The memory of those moments was what made situations like the one you were going through now more tolerable. You knew that Steve was with her while you were saving the leftovers from the dinner you had worked so hard to prepare. You knew that Nancy was once again the reason your boyfriend missed one of your dates, but you also knew that she didn't love him, not like you did. They didn't share those special moments you had. She didn't hug him tightly or talk to him as lovingly as you did. She didn't hold him at night, stroking his hair tenderly until he fell asleep in your arms. She didn't leave a little bit of her heart in every single thing she did for him. You did all those things. You and only you. Steve was dating you and not her. Nancy might still hold the key to his heart, but it was only a matter of time before she lost it to you.
When the phone rang you rushed to pick it up, hoping to hear your boyfriend's voice on the other end of the line. You smiled when you discovered that it was indeed him, momentarily forgetting all the pain you felt as you listened to his voice.
"I'm so sorry I'm late, I lost track of time." Steve apologized, sounding genuinely sorry. "I promise I'll make it up to you."
You were ready to forgive him and forget the whole thing, like you used to do when these things happened, but then you heard her voice in the background and jealousy took over you again. Nancy laughed in the distance, happy, while you climbed the walls of your house imagining what Steve could be doing with her for so long. It felt like she was taunting you, like she knew you were being killed slowly by uncertainty and it amused her. Your jealousy-blinded mind felt attacked by her, further aggravating your temper. 
"It's fine," you said in a dry tone that denoted the complete opposite of your words. "Just get home soon."
He told you he loved you before he cut the call short, but you were too hurt and angry at the time for his words to soften your heart. You dropped onto the couch, defeated by the storm of conflicting emotions swirling inside you. You didn't know what to do, what voice to listen to. You loved Steve, but you honestly didn't know how much longer you could go on like this, missing him even when he was by your side, dreading every time she was near, competing for his heart.
You knew that he didn't love you yet, you could live with it as long as there was a possible future for you. You needed to know that all the effort you were making now was not in vain, that you had a chance at happiness. You needed Steve to assure you that he wasn't going to leave you for Nancy at any time. You were willing to keep working on your relationship, to bet on a future together if he was too. You wanted to think that you knew he did, that asking him something like that was silly since it was obvious that Steve wanted to be with you, but the truth was that you didn't. You knew he loved you and was happy with you, but you weren't sure he was as invested in his relationship as you were. And you needed to make sure you weren't wasting your time with him. You needed to know if Steve wanted to put his past with Nancy behind him, because nothing you did would matter if he wasn't willing to forget her.
So in the heat of the moment you decided to give him an ultimatum. Steve would have to choose between Nancy or you because you couldn't go on living in doubt. Jealousy and uncertainty were eating you up inside at all hours, slowly transforming you into a version of you that you didn't recognize. You didn't want to let your insecurities get the best of you, it was time to do something about it. 
You had to put an end to your suffering, even if it meant ending your relationship with Steve. You knew it would hurt if he rejected you, but at this point you were convinced that anything was better than the damn uncertainty. 
Part of you felt bad about your decision, thinking it was unfair of you to attack Steve with an ultimatum like that. But it was also unfair to live the way you did, so you tried your best to stick to your decision. You paced back and forth as you waited for your boyfriend to arrive, your mind full of fake scenarios about what might happen. You tried to stay calm, to not let your nerves get the better of you as you imagined the worst outcome, ignoring the voice in your mind that told you this was a bad idea. You decided to focus on what you would say to him, planning your words carefully so as not to sound too harsh but still remain firm. You wanted Steve to know that you meant business without coming across as overbearing since you understood that this was a difficult situation for him as well. 
You had your speech all prepared by the time you felt the sound of the door. You jumped to your feet, approaching the entrance to greet Steve as you went over the words you had prepared over and over in your mind. ‘Stay strong, you got this' a voice in your head encouraged you, trying to calm the nerves storming inside you as the door slowly opened, revealing your boyfriend on the other side.
You tried to stand your ground, but all your anger disappeared as soon as you saw the remorseful puppy expression on Steve's face. He was looking at you with guilt in his big brown eyes and a pout on his lips, hiding part of his face behind a bouquet of red roses. He looked adorable, enough to make you forget all the words you had been memorizing for the last half hour. 
"I'm so sorry, baby. I know you had a big date planned and I fucked it up, I'm sorry." Steve apologized, the regret clear in his voice. Suddenly, the anger and jealousy you felt minutes before was replaced by fear. Fear of losing him. Fear of never hearing him call you 'baby' again. Fear of never feeling his lips on yours or his arms around your body again. You couldn't lose him, not now when he looked so adorable and apologetic, willing to do anything to make up for his mistake.
"It's fine," you said, letting out a sigh, taking the flowers he offered you and bringing them to your nose to smell the scent.
"I love you," he declared, taking your face in his hands and joining your lips in a kiss. You knew his words were not true, not entirely at least, but you decided to ignore him for the moment, allowing yourself to get lost in the kiss. You decided then that you would let the fantasy continue for one more night. You could talk to him about your feelings in the morning, but right now you didn't want to fight. All you wanted was to hold Steve in your arms as you slept for one last time.
192 notes · View notes
hexofvex · 2 years ago
Text
Sleepless Night || Kamisato Ayato x Gender Neutral! Reader
Tumblr media
Premise: Concerned by your husband's horrendous schedule, you have a late night talk with him.
CW: angst with comfort (bcs can I write anything else)
Total WC: 801 words
A/N: dropping in with some Ayato simp material before I go missing bcs of college again </3. Also I can't title my works for shit lmao
──────────────────
You'd lost count of the hours.
Two? Three? Four? You'd been tossing and turning all night, practicing different exercises to fall asleep, all in vain. The emptiness next to you was awfully heavy, together with the silence caused by the sound of only your breathing in the room.
Of course, falling asleep by yourself wasn't uncommon. And It's not as if it ever bothered you; you understood the burden of being the Yashiro Commissioner and knew why Ayato was working so hard. And yet every night, you would be awoken by the the shuffling of your husband as he laid down next to you, before falling back asleep.
Tonight was the third night in a row when that wasn't the case.
You haven't had the time to speak with him about it. Even worse, you barely saw him around these days.
With a heavy sigh, you threw your blanket aside and stepped out of bed. Slowly and as silently as you could, you made your way to Ayato's office, attempting to not alert any servants. You opened the sliding door, silghtly cringing at the loud sound of it.
"You're not sleeping?" You heard your husband's voice greeting you.
"You're not either, darling." You retorted. "I know you're not sleeping too well usually but this is a bit too much isn't it?" As you stepped closer to him, you noticed his tired eyes and disheveled hair. Small details, unnoticeable from afar, but details that told you he wasn't in his element. Despite his hectic work schedule, Ayato would never fail in looking perfectly composed. It made his current condition all the more worrying.
You sat down at the other side of his desk, throwing a stray look over his papers. As always, the wooden surface was so covered in documents and letters you could barely even see spots of it anymore. "Are you alright? Has anything happened that requires these extra hours?"
"You know, I've heard some very interesting things."
You blinked with a slight furrow of your brow. It was an obvious change of subject, a bit sloppy (which you would blame on his sleep deprived state), but you took the bait, curious of what he was referring to.
"What things exactly?"
"Certain rumours," came the reply. "About you and Thoma."
You scoffed. Of course, why were you surprised? You, a member of a less wealthy and influent clan. Thoma, a percieved outsider, because of his heritage. The more closed minded people had made their dislike for the two of you crystal clear, so something of that nature was to be expected. "Our enemies will say anything to discredit us. But you haven't payed attention to any of that nonsense, I trust?"
"Certainly." Ayato put down his brush, finally looking you in the eye. "You are among my most trusted people. A measly piece of gossip isn't enough to shake my faith in the two of you. But it has made me think."
You placed an elbow on the desk, inching closer. "I'm not sure I follow."
"Perhaps it has been my own neglect of you that has weakened our image and allowed for these rumours to come into being."
Oh you could see it now.
"You're working now so you could free up time? No, no-"
"I have a duty to this family, [Name]."
"So do I!" You reached over the desk and held his hands. "I can help you."
Ayato sighed. "The work I do is far more dangerous than what you and Ayaka do, [Name]."
"I know. But, my love, ever since we got married I only took over the cultural affairs with Ayaka. Your burden is the same. That's not how it should be, and you know that."
"And it is yours, and her safety that I must preserve. And not just the two of you, but every person that is in my care. It's a heavy burden, but it must be done."
"It must," you said, gently brushing your thumbs over his hands. "But you're not alone anymore. You're no longer young, alone, having to protect your family and stabilise a declining clan. You're allowed to let us help."
You husband closed his eyes and looked away, tightning his grip around your fingers. "I wished you'd never have to see me in a situation like this, my dear."
You left out a soft laugh. "You've seen much worse from me. If I'm allowed to be vulnerable then so are you. Lean on me, plese."
Silence.
"Ayato."
"Alright. I can attempt to."
You grinned. "Good."
Perhaps it'll turn out to be harder than you expected. But looking in your husband's lavander eyes, obscured by stray strands of light blue hair, you found it impossible to resists the incentive to do anything in your power to protect him.
161 notes · View notes
becameundone · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
(park seonghwa. cis man. he/him. homosexual.) ⇝ hey, isn’t that min kim? i think that the twenty-eight year old from london, uk works as a hair stylist (cosmetologist) for the coyote hair salon, but outside of that people describe them as neon red lights glowing in the night, candied cherries floating in a glass of bubbles, every outfit deliberate and detailed and smoky eyeshadow smeared on, the glimmer of white salon lights reflected in the blades of your scissors . i hear they are vain & pedantic, but they are also known to be supportive & individual. consider giving them a visit at their home in delilah's den gated community and get to know why they’re called the sour cherry.
TW: brief mentions of an abusive relationship, not detailed; emetophobia (one single mention)
BASICS.
Min's full legal name is Minwoo Kim. He doesn't actually mind his name at all, he has no issue with Minwoo, but he also happens to really like how Min sounds. That, and he got sick of people mispronouncing his name all the time (the W is silent!). People were already calling him Min and he found it less annoying to let it stick. However, he will not be at all upset if somebody calls him Minwoo, so long as they say it correctly.
He grew up in a fully bilingual home and speaks Korean quite naturally (although he also has a bit of a talent for picking up languages so certainly helps).
As mentioned in Tomo's intro, Min and Tomo are best friends c: i love besties! Min was also slightly infatuated with Tomo when they first met but their relationship is strictly platonic. There are no romantic feelings between them.
Also, because I like making my muses know each other, he does also know Mio (sorry that their names are spelled so similarly); although Min is by no means a professional dancer, he does have some history with it (as I'll go on to explain) and he still finds it fun so he'll hang out at the dance studio with Mio and sometimes they'll work on stuff together. Any friendships Min does have are very important to him, as he's struggled with making his friends his whole life.
He can be vain and occasionally a little shallow but it mostly comes from a fear of being ignored; he likes to stand out because he doesn't want to fade into the background. He wants to be NOTICED. Please. He's begging you. (Except don't give him too much attention because he hates that too. Good luck figuring that out!) It also comes from a place of needing to be entirely himself. Min has felt like an outcast most of his life so, instead of worrying about not fitting in, he'd rather stand out. He puts EFFORT into how he looks. Eyeliner, shimmer eyeshadow, a great smelling perfume; these are all staples for Min. His hair always looks great too. Because of course it does. Hair's kind of his thing.
Min currently lives in a cottage in Delilah's Den Gated Community with his older cousin. Because his cousin was planning on living there regardless, Min is only expected to cover his own utilities and food costs. Otherwise, he'd likely live in Seal Harbour apartment complex; when he was still in London, he was living in a shitty little flat. Living in a nice little cottage is pleasant enough but he doesn't like the gated community much, finding it too boring and isolated after having lived in city as densely populated as London.
Strictly speaking, Min is bisexual but I think he has a pretty strong preference for masc identifying people and he'd probably rather date them (if i end up deciding to write him as gay, then that'll be a matter of him coming to that conclusion abt himself bc, right now, i'm not 100% sure). He never came out to his family, with the exception of his younger sister and his cousin. He's also a little weary about getting into relationships, given that his only real relationship was pretty abusive. Min would like to trust someone like that again but it'll take some patience. (Sex, however, is not something he has any real qualms about.)
Min is autistic! (YES i'm writing another autistic muse this wasn't even planned bc most of my muses here were pre-existing muses ASDFGHGF) This was diagnosed when he was child. Growing up, he never really learned how to mask and, frankly, he still doesn't know how. However, he's developed a sort of hyperawareness of how other people might perceive him and is often far too conscious of the risk of saying things other people don't understand. It doesn't really help. He's also got OCD, although it's a specific subtype where his compulsions aren't motivated by the fear of any terrible consequences and instead by his own discomfort (and there is a name for this but I can't, for the life of me, remember it). This tends to manifest as a fixation on details like symmetry and order but also often as germaphobia, although this is a little milder.
Min has three sisters, two older and one younger. He is the only son is family. His older sisters are both a few years older than him and his sister is five years younger so there's a bit of a gap between him and the next sibling either way.
Actually drinks too much Coca Cola. This probably explains his stroppiness, as well as his awful sleeping patterns. I remember early on, I had this whole Cherry Coke aesthetic for him which is funny because he doesn’t even drink it. Just regular Coke. Not Coke Zero. DEFINITELY not Diet Coke. Only regular Coke. He hates Pepsi.
He’s not as adventurous as Tomo in general but he still likes to tag along with Tomo to parties and clubs most of the time. There’s never any pressure for him to go if he doesn’t want to. Min's not a big drinker and the drugs are only an every-now-and-again thing for him but he likes hanging out with Tomo. Despite his (not always intentional) aloof attitude towards most other people, he also doesn’t mind helping Tomo out when he’s drunk because he likes feeling reliable. Min’s used to being treated like an irresponsible child or like he’ll smash into a thousand pieces if he does something wrong so it’s almost liberating to look out for someone. (That said, it goes both ways -- Tomo has definitely punched a guy for bothering Min before.)
BACKSTORY.
EARLY YEARS.
Min's early years aren't anything remarkable. He was the third child and only son of an ordinary couple, his father was a teacher and his mother a hairdresser. He was born and raised in London, where he would continue to live most of his life through until his 20s. He was raised in a Catholic family. They weren't especially religiously involved but he was baptised and he did the whole First Holy Communion and Confirmation thing. The works. He did attend a Catholic school (in the UK, this can be largely the same as any other public school, esp in terms of actual education and curriculum, just more...uh...Catholic and repressed) which did wonders for his emotional wellbeing as a closeted gay teenager...or not. Min himself is not religious at all.
From a young age, Min found himself drawn to performance. This love was first discovered in drama classes in Primary school. In Year 6 (equivalent of 5th Grade), he was cast as Gabriel in the school's Nativity play, wherein he got a solo song to himself. This sparked something in him and what he discovered was that he liked dancing best of all. He never dared to ask for dancing lessons, too embarrassed to admit he had an interest, but he would spend hours in his bedroom, teaching himself the basics. In Secondary school, he was able to continue taking roles in school plays, even if his roles were usually smaller. He'd had to beg his parents to let him take drama, instead of focusing solely on more academic pursuits, but he was never much of a theatre kid. He was never outgoing enough to land the big roles but he was happy enough to just have something about which he could feel passionate. His eldest sister, old enough to have some money put aside from her part-time job during Uni, eventually offered to pay for some dance classes; he didn't attend them that frequently, as he was relying on his sister having enough money, but he got a lot out of them.
His parents had wanted him to study something more academic at university, given that he was a clever child with good grades, but Min had since developed a very straight forward, narrow focus on the performing arts. For him, that was the only viable option. After a few arguments and the eventual intervention of his oldest sister, who'd insisted that Min was talented, his parents relented and allowed him to pursue a degree in dance.
LONDON.
Marking very little change from his experiences up until that point, Min struggled to make friends at Uni. Eventually, a compulsory group activity saw him swept into the fold of an established friend group and, although he did not feel he entirely fit in, for the first time he was among people not intent on judging him. He was able to make friends in the LGBT community and finally comes to terms with his own sexuality. It was around this time that Min really started putting effort into his looks; he'd finally found the freedom to be who he wanted. To be himself. At this point, he was still living at home. The changes were certainly noticed but, because he seemed to be doing well and because he seemed happier, nobody seemed to mind anymore.
However, it didn't take long for Min to buckle under the pressure. Barely into his second year of Uni, Min found himself struggling to cope; he'd decided to move out just before the academic year started, moving into a shitty little flat with a few friends, and he couldn't quite readjust to the changes. The social expectations of the course started to get too much and he lost focus. After repeatedly failing to show up to evaluations and flunking his assessments, he was asked to leave the course. The shame ate away at him; not only had he fucked everything up, he'd wasted his parents' money and made a fool of his sister for having any faith in him.
But that same sister was exactly the person to whom he turned. His student loans ran out quickly and he wasn't able to keep paying rent for the flat with his friends but his sister agreed to take him in for a short while, until he was ready to tell his parents the truth. It took him another month to finally come clean with them. To his shock, his mother was immediately understanding and took him under her wing as a trainee hairdresser. He'd later learn that his mum had already figured out what had happened because, despite her best efforts, his eldest sister wasn't very good at lying. His mother thought he might like to work alongside her because, after all, he seemed to be interested in fashion and style. It seemed she was right.
Min seemed to have a natural knack for hairstyling and quickly settled into his new career, finally accepting there were other things in life about which he could be passionate. He was able to get a job in another salon in the centre of London, somewhere a little more sleek and modern than his mother's place of work, and, having found a new place to stay with a mutual friend, he was finally thriving.
It was around this time that Min got into his first serious relationship, going exclusive with a former-classmate from Uni who was a few years older than him. This relationship was kept a very careful secret from Min's family but that only made it harder for him to recognise when the dynamic slipped into bullying. But, because Min had lived most of his life afraid of disappointing people, wracked by an overwhelming guilt that didn't seem to come from anywhere in particular and a hyperawareness of his inability to fit in with others, it wasn't easy for him to recognise what was happening. It was easy for him to assume he deserved it.
While his relationship continued to take a turn for the worse, Min found himself being given the opportunity to do hair for a fancy fashion event. It was at this event that he first met a dazzling young actor who'd come to London from Japan; Tomo Katsumura was unlike anybody Min had ever met. Free-spirited, full of spark, so unconcerned with what anybody else thought of him. They became fast friends, thanks to Tomo's natural ability to draw people in. It was bound to be a brief friendship as they'd have to part ways as soon as the event was over but it didn't take Tomo long to take a permanent mark on Min's life, showing him things he'd never seen before and dragging him to places to fancy for him to have ever visited himself.
"Your boyfriend fucking sucks," Tomo had said, just a few nights in, "Is he abusing you?" It had been such a blunt question that Min didn't know how to respond. He thought he ought to feel angry that this near-stranger would ask such an insensitive question. He could almost feel his skin burning. But, after a long silence, he finally said, "I really want to break up with him." Tomo shrugged. "Then do it," he had said, "I'll even come along for emotional support." It was the strangest thing a person Min had only known a week could have offered him. He didn't understand at all how quickly this man had managed to wriggle his way under his skin. But, for some reason, he trusted him. The break-up came the following night, in his boyfriend's flat. It had been nasty. Unpleasant. Cruel words exchanged. But it happened, and the whole thing somehow culminated in Tomo stepping in and punching Min's now-ex square in the nose, before grabbing Min by the wrist and escaping the flat, where Min started to laugh. And then he started to cry. So hard he ended up throwing up. But Tomo had been there the whole time, waiting at Min's side like a guardian angel.
And, then, when the two weeks of the event were up, Tomo went back to Japan, leaving Min with nothing but a promise that he'd try to stay in touch. That promise clearly proved hard to keep. For Min, everything suddenly went back to normal, save for the newfound absence of his shitty ex. And, suddenly, without the distraction of an awful relationship, Min started to see how bored he'd been. He loved his job and he loved London but his life felt stagnant.
ANCHORAGE.
Moving country was never an option Min had considered. It had never been something he wanted. Not until he'd met Tomo, who'd told him that moving abroad when his life felt all screwed up and changed everything. Besides, ever since that week, Min had grown hungry for adventure, seeing for real that was a whole world outside of his own bubble. When his older cousin, a writer who focuses on the weird and unexplained and had moved to Anchorage a few years before, comes to visit over the holidays, Min does not hesitate to ask take him back to Alaska with him. Ask. Beg. Whatever, it's all the same. Min doesn't really care about the destination, he just wants out of London. He wants a fresh start, away from everything that's starting to eat him alive. His cousin finally relents and agrees to take Min away with him. Min arrives in Anchorage during the late months of 2020, at the age of twenty-four.
Starting over wasn't immediately easy; he had to sit an exam to get a US-appropriate license before he could even think of getting a job but he'd had enough experience now to better cope with the changes in his life and earned his license with little trouble. He lands himself a job at Coyote Hair Salon and everything falls into place. Anchorage isn't too exciting most of the time but it's different than home and, to be honest, it's strange enough for it to feel like an adventure. Maybe he should be careful what he's wishing for.
Shortly after getting back to work, Min was also inspired to reignite his passion for dance. He signs for adult dance classes at a studio in town and, although they aren't at quite the level of polish one might expect from a good school in London, the energy is less intense. Less competitive. Dance becomes a way for him to destress.
Then, come early 2022, a very unexpected customer walks through the doors, asking for a stylist willing to help him fix a shitty self-inflicted hair dye job. Min looks up and sees none other than Tomo fucking Katsumura. (It later turns out that this isn't the wild coincidence it seems like and it's partly Min's fault that this is where Tomo has turned up. During their time in London together, Min had mentioned his cousin and commented that Anchorage seemed like the kind of place you'd go to run away from something, a place for hiding. Apparently, this stuck with Tomo long enough that it was the first place he thought of when deciding to 'escape' Los Angeles.)
(also sidenote YES this is another muse with a dance background but min was originally written as tomo's popstar best friend in another plot and i wanted to keep SOME element of that. min's main skill as a popstar was dance so it made the most sense to keep that specifically. also i think dancers are cool. min's biggest obstacle in his original plotline was an abusive record label so i guess i condensed that into his ex. i kept these references vague bc i didn't want to be too unpleasant about it but i think a lack of control, at some point in min's life, is integral to his characterisation.)
7 notes · View notes
mindofasupernova · 4 years ago
Text
Someone you loved
Kaz Brekker x reader
Mr. Sandman Part 2
Inspired by the song "Someone you loved" by Lewis Capaldi
Tumblr media
I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me
This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy
Kaz's mind was a raging storm, an ever-shifting landscape. His heart was madly racing and he feared that if it didn't stop soon, it'll burst out of his chest.
Two days had gone by and yet there was no information about Y/N's whereabouts. No one had made an effort to contact him asking for money in exchange for her safety, no blackmail, nothing. Kaz knew the probability of Y/N being alive was shrinking as the days passed.
Kaz felt terrible, guilt crushed his heart in a vicious grip. If he hadn't kicked her out, if he had taken back his words, if he had just... No, thinking about what ifs wouldn't bring Y/N back home. If she's still alive a cruel voice whispered in the back of his mind.
His mind drifted to his darkest memories, horrible images plagued his mind. Rotting flesh beneath his fingers, icy hands grabbing at him, threatening to pull him under the waves. Water filled his lungs, consuming his oxygen and living him in the dark. His head broke the water, gasping for air, Kaz looked around, trying to find something, anything to grab to avoid drowning. Only that now instead of his brother's corpse, he saw Y/N's limp body floating above the water.
Kaz fell to his knees, the pain brought him back to reality. He was trembling, sharp gasps left his body, black dots covered his vision. Y/N would have told him to focus on reality, take in the details, count every little object he could find in the room. But Y/N wasn't here, and it was all his fault.
___________
I need somebody to heal, somebody to know
Somebody to have, somebody to hold
Y/N talked passionately about her latest read, making wild gestures with her hands as if to prove a point. Jesper's arm was slung across her shoulder, head thrown back in a laughing fit. When his cackles died down, Jesper leaned his head on Y/N's shoulder and started mocking her for being able to remember the exact place where phrases were in the book.
Kaz watched silently from his seat in the Crow Club, he knew those touches were purely friendly gestures, and still he couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy.
On many sleepless nights, Kaz thoughts had wandered down a treacherous path, always finding their way to Y/N. His mind had been invaded by images of her: the smile she always wore when she was about to make a witty comment, the way she pursed her lips whenever he asked her to memorize an important document, the furrow of her brows when paying close attention to Kaz's plans.
He snapped out of it, angry at himself for thinking about her, he couldn't afford those thoughts. Kaz's life was dangerous and he had many enemies who wouldn't hesitate to use anything or anyone against him. If he left himself feel, if he let her in, he knew there was nothing he wouldn't do for her.
He had tried. He had tried to distance himself, push her away until his feelings dissipated to nothing. However, every time Y/N appeared in his office late at night just to talk about her day, every time she called his name, every time she sent a glorious smile his way, Kaz couldn't bring himself to say no.
And now, looking at Y/N from across the room, a sense of longing clouded his vision. Thoughts of sitting next to her, no space between their bodies, with no fear of touching reminded him of how miserably he had failed.
____________
It's easy to say, but it's never the same
I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain
Since Y/N's kidnapping, Kaz had gone completely feral. He had looked for anyone who could provide information. He had kidnapped, tortured, and even killed members of any other gangs he had his suspicions on. He was unstoppable, he wouldn't rest until his Y/N was safe. She isn't even yours because you kicked her out a scornful voice reminded him.
Kaz's whole body hurt, his limp was more prominent than usual, his knuckles were bloodied and a purplish bruise contrasted against his pale skin from a blow he had taken when he was beating the life out of one of the Dime Lion's informants.
How he wished Y/N was there. No matter how many times he came back to the Slat, covered in blood and clutching at his wounds, Y/N's gaze always turned into one of horrified worry.
Y/N had always healed his wounds after a mission, wiping the blood away very carefully in order not to touch his skin. Even when he wasn't bleeding and it was just his leg giving him a bad day or a headache that refused to leave him, Y/N always brought him medicine or tea depending on the situation.
But Y/N was gone and he might not ever see her again. His thoughts lurched him back to the ocean, dead things suffocated him. He clutched his cane tighter, he couldn't have a panic attack now, he needed to find Y/N.
_______
Now the day bleeds into nightfall
And you're not here to get me through it all
The night wrapped the dirty streets of Ketterdam in its wicked hold, the moon loomed ahead casting a palish glow through Kaz's window. Another day had passed and he was no closer to finding Y/N.
He was alone in his office, clutching his cane tighter by the second, its sharp edges bruising his skin, and yet, the pain wasn't enough to keep the waters from rising, Y/N's form surrounded by corpses.
No, he couldn't think of her this way. He had to remain positive, he needed to hope Y/N was still alive somewhere, but for someone like Kaz, remaining positive wasn't something he strived on. Instead, Kaz looked inside his brain, searching for a memory of Y/N to avoid passing out and when he found it, he seized it and hung to it for dear life.
Kaz had heard people say love arrived at the most unexpected times, bloomed in the most unlikely places. People said love wasn't something you chose, something you could control, not a concept you could welcome or shut out of your life at your convenience.
Kaz deemed those people foolish, weak for not being able to control themselves, and as the cold mastermind he was, Kaz brushed off all of their comments. And he would have kept thinking that way if it hadn't been for Y/N during a warm summer evening.
The Crow Club was surprisingly empty, everyone was in a relaxed state, currently resting after a successful heist. Kaz had been working in his office, signing contracts when a soft knock sounded against his door, Y/N peered inside and after receiving Kaz's consent, stepped through the threshold.
Y/N sat in front of his desk, a small smile playing on her face, ensued by a moment of silence, Y/N started talking. Kaz's head perked up at the sound of her voice, eyes leaving the papers to direct his whole attention to her but he had been completely caught off guard by the sight before him.
Y/N's mouth was moving but Kaz's couldn't hear a thing, it was as if someone had stolen the sound so he could only focus on Y/N's heavenly form.
Y/N's hair was slightly disheveled, gusts of wind occasionally brushing lonely strands into different directions, soft locks swishing in compass with a nonexistent melody. Sunset rays filtered through the window, lighting up Y/N's features. Sunlight beams fell gently down the slope of her nose, gently caressed her long lashes, and kissed her tender lips giving them a reddish hue.
At that moment, Kaz realized how dreadfully unjust the world was. How come was the wind able to run his breezy fingers across her beautiful hair? How could the rain brush her skin lovingly without repelling at the idea of skin contact? Why could the Sun kiss her graceful lips and he couldn't?
Kaz wanted to hold her, reach for her whenever he wanted without fear of drowning. He wanted to hug her and nuzzle his nose in her hair affectionately. He wanted to know what her skin felt like under his fingertips. Kaz wanted to know the taste of her lips.
Because he was in love with her.
________
I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
Y/N laid immobile in his bed, her skin almost as pale as his sheets, soft breaths escaped her lungs. Kaz sat in a chair near her fragile body, his frown deepened every time his eyes landed on a different wound.
Kaz felt like in a déjà vu, a vision that had happened exactly three weeks ago. This was the reason why Kaz had pushed her, why he had evicted her from the Slat, the one home she had ever known. But did it matter? All his efforts to keep her safe had been in vain.
That fateful night, when she had been the distraction in a supposed easy heist, everything had come tumbling down. The nightmares had started back then, where he first saw her all bloodied and beaten and unconscious. They didn't know if she would ever wake up. Kaz had refused to visit her, images of his nine-year-old self seeing her amongst the corpses in the Reaper's Barge haunted his days.
When she had woken up he'd wanted to see her, but he couldn't bring himself to because he knew what he had to do. Kaz couldn't bear the thought of her dying, he couldn't imagine her gone, but if he gave her hope, if she saw how much he cared, she would refuse to leave. He needed her to stay away for her safety
So he had done that, he had ruthlessly yanked his heart out of his chest when he had kicked her out. The words he had said to her tortured him since that day: "Do not think that just because I have kept you around for this long you're irreplaceable." And when he thought he couldn't feel more pain, Y/N had started crying. Silent droplets fell down her cheeks and Kaz felt as if the most savage assassin had ripped his heart into shreds.
I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
Seating there, silently watching Y/N's closed eyes, he was experiencing it all again. When they had found her she had been tied to a chair, unmoving, in one of the Dime Lion's warehouses. He swore his heart had stopped beating, she couldn't be dead, when Nina had checked for her heartbeat and announced it was still there, Kaz's heart reanimated.
Nina had done her best to heal her and now the only thing there was to do was wait until she woke up. This time Kaz had refused to leave her bedside. This time he would do things differently.
He had been a coward, he now realized. He should have never let her go. He should have been braver, stronger, he should have protected her. Now he realized he wanted, no, needed her with him. He had been too scared worrying for the future that he had forgotten to enjoy the present. He wouldn't make that mistake again.
"Kaz?"
His head shot back to Y/N. She was awake, she was alive and he would never let her go.
And with such a fervent emotion, he couldn't have thought himself capable of expressing, he said "Please, don't ever leave me again. "
Thanks for the song recommendation @itsemy01
Taglist:
@getawayfrommewerewolf, @lady1505, @rika90, @thedelusionreaderbitch, @coffeewithoutcaffeine, @aleksanderwh0r3, @princessleah129, @subjecta13-thefangirl
172 notes · View notes
faulty-writes · 3 years ago
Text
This is a little different than most of my other works, but I'm trying to branch out and write for more of the secondary or minor characters. I actually adore the Todoroki family, especially Fuyumi and Natsuo. So I hope you guys enjoy this little appreciation piece featuring Natsuo who no doubt deserves more love considering he's a very interesting and complex character, at least in my opinion.
Tumblr media
[ Natsuo is known as 'the nice guy' on campus despite also being recognized as a "Todoroki" and many knowing of the relation he holds to the number one hero, Endeavor. He's had plenty of experiences where people have used him because of this, but the latest one leaves him a tad heartbroken. What other choice does he have but to run to you? ]
The sound of his abnormally thick tears landing on the tiled flooring of the hallway faintly echoed as he continued on his way. Ignoring all the looks and obvious gossip that would come with the fact he was so shamelessly crying in the middle of a school day.
A sniffle came as Natsuo reached up and with some force, wiped his right eye with the end of his signature gray hoodie sleeve which he normally wore on campus. The very campus he had grown to love over the past year and the one Fuyumi had insisted he go to in order to study medical welfare.
It was funny, he could still hear her words echoing in his head, ‘Leave our family circumstances to me and go do what you want to pursue,’ and that he did. He knew he shouldn’t have been surprised that his sister offered to take the brunt of their family problems and encourage him to do what made him happy.
But at the same time, Natsuo hadn’t originally wanted to leave his sister or youngest brother behind. He didn’t trust their well-being with ‘Endeavor’ around, despite his mother having long since recovered from the mental and physical abuse the so-called "number one hero" put her through.
Since the death of his eldest brother, Touya. He couldn't shake this protective and anxiety-ridden feeling that had been slowly growing inside of him. He'd be damned if anything happened to his remaining siblings, even if it meant he'd experience more emotional trauma in the long run.
Much like today. College was supposed to be a fun time, and while Natsuo understood that some enjoyed ‘experimenting’ and partying rather than studying. He was never much of the party type and while he knew he was attracted to other genders, he never outwardly acted on it.
Knowing how his father treated his mother was the one thing that drove him to desire a true romantic relationship and that was what he thought he had. Unfortunately, there was a cruel reality that came with being the son of Endeavor, and while he should be used to people trying to get close to him when they found this out.
He never thought they would sink so low as to try and date him on the off-chance they'd get to meet the number one hero. His fingers sunk into the front of his hoodie, twisting the fabric as a soft ache coursed through his chest.
Which he could only describe as a broken heart and despite wanting to go back to his own room, bury his face into a pillow, and hide under his covers. There was one person he wanted, no needed, to see. It wasn’t his mother or sister, not even his youngest brother. It was you.
Strangely, since the start of his first year in college. He seemed to gravitate towards you, at first he believed it was only due to the fact that you were also studying something related to the medical field. But as your friendship continued and he got to spend more time with you, he realized that he genuinely enjoyed your company.
The fact he found himself telling you things, secrets that he wouldn’t have thought of sharing outside of his family was a pleasant surprise. Maybe you were just easy to talk to? He wasn’t sure, but he did know that unlike most.
You weren’t going to use him just because of his relation to Endeavor, though he knew you were interested in hero studies. There was no worry in his mind that you’d use him for some hero-related advantage.
Another sniffle came before he reached up to once more wipe away his tears, even if his effort was in vain considering more just came. He took a deep breath, trying to both collect and center himself. ‘Man, this backpack feels heavy,’ he thought as he clenched his jaw and focused his attention on the floor.
Counting the familiar shapes in the tile that he knew would eventually lead to your room. The logical reason for his backpack feeling so heavy was due to the fact it was filled to the brim with various textbooks and a few notebooks that were scribbled with his writing.
He could feel the slight bitter sting of frost beginning to grow on his tear-stained cheeks which he ignored for the moment. Still, he wiped his eyes once more before picking up his pace. He soon began to speedwalk which turned into a jog which eventually led him to frantically running and accidentally stumbling into your door.
Once more, he seemed to get stares from the passersby. But in a way, he couldn’t blame them. He wasn’t even sure how he looked slumped against another student's door with his arms stretched above his head and his hands closed into fists.
His forehead was pressed against your door and his tears continued to slowly fall. His eyebrows came down and for a moment, he wondered what he was doing before the door suddenly opened. “Hel-” your sentence came to a stop when the white-haired boy stumbled forward and your hands instantly grasped his arms.
Your stance stiffening as you unconsciously seemed determined to stop him from falling. One of your legs was bent back, and the other bent forward. An awkward silence filled the air before you heard the soft sound of something hitting the wooden floor of your room.
It reminded you of water and a few seconds later, Natsuo lifted his head. You instantly noticed those tears and felt his hands curl into the front of your shirt, funny you hadn’t noticed or felt the pressure of his hands there before.
But in a way it made sense, Natsuo was always very gentle. Even when handling the few people who volunteered to pretend to be "patients" during his medical welfare classes. In fact, it seemed he was downright cautious when it came to others.
Never necessarily wanting to cause trouble and sometimes acting rather shy unless you happened to bring up a topic he didn’t like. You had long since learned the reason why he preferred to keep the topic of ‘family’ out of conversations.
Yet, you wondered if Natsuo was crying because of something related to just that. But you knew you shouldn’t jump to conclusions just yet. Still, you couldn’t help but look into those blue orbs of his. The look of hurt was clearly visible, not only in his eyes but also indicated by the way his face was twisted.
Then he leaned forward, allowing a soft whimper to escape in the process. Partly burying his face into the front of your shirt as he lifted his leg up. Then without warning, he slammed his foot against the floor. Which caused you to jump, but you didn’t dare release Natsuo.
Especially as his tears soaked into the fabric of your shirt, unlike most Natsuo's tears were always cold. You assumed it was due to his quirk, but before you could say anything the sound of Natsuo’s cracked and broken voice caught your attention.
“D-Damn it,” the stuttered words filled the air and you frowned, wanting nothing more than to run your fingers through that white snow-like hair of his before you glanced back up. Noticing a few people staring into your doorway, you honestly didn’t know why they were staring or why they weren’t minding their own business.
But you did know that something was clearly wrong with Natsuo and whatever that something was caused this reaction. You shot the bystanders a glare before focusing back on Natsuo. You opened your mouth to speak, but were interrupted by the sound of his voice once more.
“I...am so sick of this,” his words, of course only confused you. What was he sick of and how did it relate to his current state? You managed to straighten out your legs, however, Natsuo continued to cling to you.
His tears hadn’t ceased nor those soft almost desperately gasps for breath. “I’m sorry,” he suddenly said before he turned to look over his shoulder. His hands remained curled into the front of your shirt as he looked at the many people staring at the two of you.
Some seemed curious as to what was happening and others amused to see the almost grown man crying in the arms of his friend. With more strength than he intended, he once more lifted his foot and slammed your door shut.
The noise it created echoed through your room and though Natsuo felt guilty for having treated your door in such a manner, his chest was already aching profusely. When he turned back to face you, the fact he had small bits of ice underneath his eyes and on the skin of his cheeks didn't go unnoticed by you.
Your hands left their position on Natsuo’s forearms to gently cup his face, it shouldn’t be a surprise that he was cold to the touch. You knew that was yet again another semi-harmless side effect due to his quirk, despite the fact you had never actually seen him use it.
Part of you wondered why that was. Still, you couldn’t help but allow your thumbs to run over those specs of ice stuck to his moist cold cheeks and the desire to get a warm hand towel to clean his face was strong.
You weren’t sure if you wanted to ask what happened first or calm him down enough so he would tell you with as little of a fight as possible. Your touch was welcomed as Natsuo reached up and laid one of his hands over yours.
“Do you...want to sit down?” you questioned and Natsuo looked momentarily confused before he glanced away as if he were thinking about something. Sometimes when he acted like this, it annoyed you. You knew how guilty Natsuo could feel over things that he either shouldn’t or weren’t even his fault.
He was here crying into your arms, but you knew somehow he'd make up a reason to feel guilty about it. ‘Well, that isn’t going to happen today,’ you thought as you released his face and reached down to take hold of one of his hands.
Even though they too were always cold, you couldn't help but find some odd sense of comfort when you were holding him by the hand. Despite the fact, Natsuo was significantly larger than you. But, you assumed that was only due to the fact that he physically took after his father.
The fact he went to the gym daily only added to that overall intimidating stature of his. Regardless, you squeezed his hand in reassurance as you guided him towards your bed. He made no move to resist your guidance and once you had him sitting down, you gently laid your hands on his shoulders.
Those tears were now single drops that slowly slid down his icy cheeks and you'd be lying if you stated it didn't hurt seeing Natsuo like this. You took a deep breath. “Stay here,” you instructed, “I’m going to get a warm towel, you have ice on your face,” Natsuo seemed rather surprised and reached up to touch his cheek.
Using his thumb to glide along the skin and sure enough, he could feel the smooth surface of the small patches of ice. “Oh…” he said before a sniffle came. “Sorry,” though most would know not to apologize for something beyond their control.
Still, he couldn’t help but fold his hands into his lap. Squeezing them between his thighs. His feet were nervously tapping against the floor, creating a rhythmic pattern and if one listened carefully enough, they’d recognize it was the pattern of a standard heartbeat.
In a way, it was amazing how much subconscious knowledge you could obtain. Natsuo failed to notice the rhythmic pattern, but you could hear it clear as day even from the bathroom where you proceeded to ring out the warm hand towel.
A soft groan escaped him, and his thighs were the only thing keeping his hands in place. Else he would be running them through his unusual spiky hair and possibly pulling it out. ‘What am I even doing here man?!’ he frantically thought.
‘Y/n...is always the person I run to, I keep bothering them but I’d rather be like this than…’ his jaw clenched when the thought of Endeavor entered his mind and a soft growl rumbled in his throat before he heard your footsteps which prompted him to raise his head.
You noticed he was looking at the wet towel you held with an expression only a curious and slightly confused child would make. “Mm,” once more he looked away, feeling the guilt continue to build as you sat down next to him and laughed.
"Don’t tell me you’re feeling guilty again,” you stated, and not to your surprise, Natsuo turned his head to look at you. His tears seemed to be completely dry and you wondered if that was because he was here with you or that he simply overworked his tear ducts.
“Sorry,” he muttered, still focused on the towel you held and the small amount of steam that seeped from it. “I...get it's kind of crazy for me to keep running to you but-” you shook your head, quickly interrupting him.
“But nothing,” you replied as you leaned forward, “that’s what friends do and you and I have been friends since the start of our freshman year,” that had to count for something, right? You reached over, cupping one side of Natsuo’s face.
“Now stay still, I want to get that ice off your face, and then you can tell me what’s bothering you,” the words left your mouth almost like a friendly command. But like most of the time, Natsuo didn’t seem to take offense.
He simply nodded and gave you a look that you knew meant he understood. Very gently, you pressed the towel to his face. Applying some pressure to ensure the bits of ice chipped off and sure enough, you could see the clear cold pieces slowly begin to melt.
When you began to wipe his opposite cheek, you couldn’t help but raise the question. “Hey Natsuo,” you began, effectively catching his attention and the soft, “Hm?” he responded with. “I’ve never seen you actually use your quirk,” you pointed out.
“Is there a reason for that?” a gasp came when Natsuo suddenly jerked his head away from you. “Uh…” blinking once or twice. You lowered the wet towel to your lap and grasped onto it. Twisting the fabric between your fingers to allow the now lukewarm droplets of water to soak into the pajama bottoms you were wearing.
Maybe you crossed a line? Did this have anything to do with his family? As far as you knew, his mother possessed a rather powerful ice quirk. Was that the reason he never used it? You weren’t sure, but usually, when Natsuo acted in this closed-off manner it was related to his family.
“Sorry,” you said, “I didn’t mean to pry, I was just curious,” the explanation was simple and you hoped Natsuo would believe you. He took a deep breath and let out a sigh before bringing his hand up, running his fingers through his hair.
“It’s fine,” he replied, though you could tell his voice was a little strained before he turned to you. That’s when you saw the frown on his face and his eyes looked misted over as if he were going to cry again. You really didn’t want that.
“Natsuo are you-” though the answer was obvious, he wasn’t okay if he had come running to you in tears. But even so, Natsuo nodded. “Yeah…” he reached out, grasping the wet towel that you were previously holding before he got up.
You wanted to ask where he was going, but it was clear he was only heading to the bathroom. “It’s just…” you heard the wet plop of the towel landing in the sink before Natsuo walked back out and once more took his seat on your bed.
You reached out, laying your hand on his thigh. “You don’t have to tell me,” you offered with a kind smile, but Natsuo shook his head. “It’s fine,” he repeated yet again before allowing his hand to rest by his side.
“Big bro Touya and I used to play around with our quirks, but Touya was always so serious about his,” you watched as his expression grew dark and a clear hateful glance appeared in his eyes which seemed distant at the moment.
This was more than likely due to the fact that Natsuo was picturing his late brother alongside his father. “Uh…” you glanced down and watched as the hand that laid by Natsuo’s side began to curl into a fist, though you knew he would never actually raise that fist or cause harm to you.
It was just shocking how the subject of his family brought out this side in him, but you remained quiet and continued to listen. “Because of that...bastard and I hated seeing Touya like that!” he suddenly exclaimed, leaning forward as his fists began to tremble, and without much thinking, you laid your hand on his back.
"Natsuo…” you said, hoping your voice would bring him back out of the hateful moment he was in. His jaw was clenched and a shiver ran up your spine when you felt Natsuo’s trembling hand take a grip on your upper arm.
But there was still that familiar gentleness to it which indicated to you that even when Natsuo was temporarily blinded by this hatred, he was still aware of his surroundings and those that were important to him.
This was only confirmed when he lifted his head to look at you with a smile, though it was small. It was still present and seemed to put you at ease for the moment. “I’m okay but…” he once more turned away from you and a sigh escaped him.
“I convinced big bro to have fun with our quirks instead of doing what the old man wanted him to, but since he...died. I...I couldn’t bring myself to use my quirk again and I’m sure sis feels that way too,” your frown deepened, ah so that’s why.
Maybe he fears he’ll lose the memory of his elder brother if he were to use his quirk again? “What else happened?” Natsuo looked back at you, confused for a brief moment before, “Oh...right,” he said as if he had almost forgotten he ran to you in broad daylight with tears streaming down his face.
He turned, bending down to slip his shoes off before he slid his backpack onto the floor. Then he proceeded to climb onto the bed or rather proceeded to crawl over to your pillows and plop himself down.
Being surrounded by your familiar scent eased him as did the fact he could stretch both his arms and legs out. You looked at him all sprawled out and comfortable. ‘Well...I guess if it makes him feel better,’ you thought as you watched Natsuo stare at the ceiling.
His face twisting with a variety of emotions that made you wonder just what caused him to cry in the first place. He didn’t deserve that, or at least not in your opinion. “She broke up with me,” he suddenly said, his voice somewhat quick and you barely understood what he said.
“Who?” you questioned as you got onto your knees and pressed your hands into the mattress, looming over Natsuo much like how a dog or loyal companion would. "My girlfriend…” he muttered as he once again looked to the side, you assumed it was an attempt to look away from your gaze which was a mess of confusion.
“Why did she break up with you?” It was said that getting your heart broken was hard to handle, but there had to be more behind this. You sat on your knees, placing your hand on your hip as you looked down at Natsuo who slowly turned his gaze back to you but seemed to avert it just as quickly.
Despite his overall twisted expression that laid somewhere between sad and angry, you also noticed the faint pink tint to his cheeks. Was that from anger or embarrassment? You honestly couldn’t tell. But Natsuo normally didn’t get embarrassed around you and you knew he knew he could tell you anything.
‘It must be from anger,’ you concluded as you continued to wait patiently for his answer. “I’m so tired of it,” he said in a soft voice which prompted you to lean closer. “Tired of it?” you repeated, clearly not understanding where that was coming from.
“I’m sick of being recognized just because of the old man's last name!” he exclaimed once more, though his voice wasn’t raised too high. It still caused you to jolt back, then again you should have realized this whole thing had something to do with his family.
Natsuo turned to you and impatiently pressed his hands against the mattress so he could sit up. His jaw was clenched again and his eyebrows slit in anger and the way he kept his eyes locked on you made you feel a little uncomfortable despite the fact you knew his anger wasn’t directed at you.
Then a sigh came and Natsuo’s head dropped. You saw this often when he was trying to collect or calm himself down. It honestly worried you that he was always going between emotions, trying to keep himself in check for the sake of others.
His eyes were closed, but when he opened them once more you could see the absence of anger. “I wanted to study medical welfare to actually help people…” he confessed as he brought his legs up to his chest and you watched as he wrapped his arms around them.
Those long sleeves of his hood concealing the contraction of his muscles and biceps. He seemed to stare off into the distance once more. “I wanted to make a difference in the world so the name Todoroki could actually mean something to me, unlike the tie it has to that bastard,” he hissed and like a switch, that anger was back.
You could even hear that soft rumbling of a growl threatening to admit from his throat. “I don’t want to be recognized as a Todoroki just because of him!” you opened your mouth to speak, but all thoughts and actions escaped you when Natsuo turned to look at you.
Once more sporting that angry expression which was terrifying in its own way. But then, it slowly began to fade into sadness and he lowered his arms. Allowing his hands to fall back onto the mattress, you couldn’t help but glance down when you felt his fingers brush against yours before you looked back up.
“I don’t want people trying to get close to me because of him either,” Natsuo stated and you gasped when you felt his cold hand engulf yours, taking firm grip as if he was silently gesturing to you that he needed some form of physical comfort.
“But that’s exactly what she did,” you felt that hand begin to tremble and you quickly gave it a reassuring squeeze. “She used you to get to your father?” you questioned, a little confused but still showing an effort that you wanted to get the story correct.
Natsuo nodded. “She’s an inspiring hero I guess," he said with a shrug, "and wanted to get close to me so she could have the chance to speak to my father,” his tone sounded like he had given up as he tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling.
That ache in his chest returned, but somehow your touch prevented it from growing any further. “Guess I was more interested in caring for her that I didn’t see it,” he commented before tilting his head back down. “Just tired of it,” he repeated.
"I wouldn’t introduce my father to anyone I’m with...they deserve better than to be exposed to him!” you could imagine that’s how the rest of his story went then. His ex-girlfriend trying to pressure him into introducing her to Endeavor only for Natsuo to express his concern and reasons for why he couldn’t.
Then from there she must have gotten angry and confessed the truth. The whole situation was unfair and you could feel your own anger brewing, using people was one thing. But using them for your own personal benefit, pretending to love them?
That wasn’t exactly forgivable in your book. No wonder he was crying. “I’m…” would saying you’re sorry even do anything? You knew Natsuo wouldn’t take offense, but it seemed unfitting for the current situation. Instead, you found yourself leaning over.
Releasing his hand in order to wrap your arms around him, nuzzling your head against his shoulder as you embraced him. Natsuo while not overly shocked at your friendly gesture, crossed his legs and wrapped his arms around your waist before pulling you even closer.
Though your back slightly hurt, you didn’t mind. Natsuo, while not completely touch-starved, still melted into anyone’s affection. You felt his stiff body finally relax and the cool touch of his cheek against your ear as he nuzzled the side of your head.
“Thank you,” he whispered, despite the fact, there was no one else around to hear you two. “I know I keep bothering you whenever-” you reached up to tug on the back of his hair.
“You’re not a bother,” you said in a stern tone, “and you should be happy that girl is now your ex, you didn’t deserve what she put you through,” your arms tightened around him just before you pulled back and grasped his shoulders.
Making sure he was looking at you before you continued to speak, “No one deserves that, you’re a wonderful person Natsuo and I know there are others that won’t care that you’re a Todoroki or that will help you make it into a name you can be proud of,” you assured him and watched as the faintest expression of hope washed over his face.
Just that alone meant the world to you and while you knew Natsuo didn’t need any protection, you still wanted to try your best to be there for him. “Come on,” you insisted as you crawled over him in order to reach the opposite side of your bed.
Though Natsuo took up most of the space, you managed to lay down and offered him your hand. That smile of his seemed to grow and as expected, he gently grasped onto your hand as he laid down by your side.
“You can stay here if you want, it’s still daylight and I don’t have any more classes for today,” you insisted and hoped he’d take the bait because you didn’t exactly trust he wouldn’t get emotional again later.
Natsuo always seemed to overthink things and maybe that’s where his sense of guilt came from. “Hm?” he glanced away and you were quick to speak. Taking a firm grip of his hand, you slipped your fingers between his and gave him a stern expression.
“Don’t let your guilt tell you that you’re going to be a bother, I want you to stay,” your words were accompanied with another reassuring squeeze, and once more his gaze was directed back on you.“...Okay,” he replied, you smiled and turned your attention to the ceiling.
Allowing your intertwined hands to remain nestled between you. Your mind was free of any thoughts, unlike Natsuo who was debating how he could even thank you for everything you did for him. Just listening to him was enough, but you went the extra step to dry his tears and invited him to stay for however long he wanted.
Was it that you knew he found comfort in you, your scent, your presence? Is there any way he could express his gratitude? Suddenly his own words came back, echoing like thunder inside his head. ‘I...couldn’t bring myself to use my quirk again,’ he held his breath and slowly lifted his free hand, turning it so he could gaze at his palm.
The sound of his and Touya’s laughter now softly echoed alongside his words. ‘It’s been years,’ he thought before he turned to glance at you, but ended up flinching when he realized you were already looking at him.
“Are you okay?” you questioned, now that everything was off his chest he should be, right? Then again, you have been wrong before. Natsuo almost seemed to be in a trace, though his eyes hadn’t left yours and his hand remained lifted in the air.
‘Would I even know how to control it? I can’t risk hurting Y/n but if this proves how thankful I am to them then…’ he finally seemed to make a choice and he slowly turned on his side causing the bed to shake along with his movements.
“Can I see your other hand for a moment?” he questioned, knowing that if anything did happen to go wrong with his quirk that he could use the basic knowledge he learned from his medical welfare classes to hopefully undo any damage.
“Hm?” you seemed a tad confused by his request and why he was holding his hand up, but once more you reminded yourself that Natsuo had no ill intentions. You maneuvered yourself on your side much like him and slowly held your free hand out.
Natsuo smiled and carefully connected your fingertips, then he took a deep breath. Channeling his long-forgotten quirk to the center of his palm, though he could feel the cold rush. It came as a surprise to you. In fact, the sudden drastic drop in temperature coming from Natsuo's hand was an utter shock.
Even knowing quirks existed, this almost seemed impossible. “N-Natsuo?” you worried something was very wrong when you felt it, the cold rough texture of tiny ice crystals growing across your skin. You almost wanted to pull away as there came a slight pulsing pain with the bitter coldness that was Natsuo's quirk.
But instead, you looked to your hand, your jaw was clasped closed and your eyes were wide. Too focused on those ice crystals that continued to grow and slowly frost over the top of your fingers. You stared in amazement.
“I...b-but you…” your words were all jumbled together and you almost missed the fact that Natsuo’s palm was covered in a thick lining of ice and how red the skin surrounding it was. Still, even if this brought him some minor discomfort.
He couldn’t help but smile as he watched your reaction, the small feeling of heartache numb for the moment and replaced with a small dose of happiness. Partly due to you and partly because he was relieved he could in fact control his quirk even after years of refusing to use it.
“I just wanted to say thank you for being there for me,” he stated and though still astonished, you glanced back at him. Even though the small mishaps would more than likely continue to happen as well as people that would attempt to use him for their own personal benefits. You somehow knew he was going to be just fine.
107 notes · View notes
latte-fairytaekwoon · 4 years ago
Text
𝑩𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 (𝑪𝒉𝒐𝒊 𝑱𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒉𝒐) 𝑹𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅
Tumblr media
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨 (𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳)× 𝐒𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐭! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 (𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞)
𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐒𝐦𝐮𝐭, 𝐈𝐝𝐨𝐥 𝐀𝐔, 𝐄𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠, 𝐘/𝐍 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨'𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡. 𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠....𝐢𝐟 𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐩 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐫.
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4.8K
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐤𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧, 𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐧! 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨, 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐯-𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝, 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐦! 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐛! 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨, 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐱 (𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠), 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐣𝐨𝐛, 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐮𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤, 𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐢-𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐱 (𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐥, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐬 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬.), 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭, 𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐱.
𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥��𝐬𝐭: @little-precious-baby @yunhofingers @multidreams-and-desires @yunhoiseyecandy @cometoceantrenches
𝑪𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒂 𝒃𝒚 𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 🖤
★━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★
The producer turned off the music which confused the artist that was currently inside the recording booth. Taking off the headphones, she fanned out the hair which stuck in between them and looked towards the two males which were sitting outside watching her intensely.
"Is something wrong?"
The long and frustrated sigh the producer emitted let her know something was most certainly wrong.
"It's all wrong. Everything about your singing is wrong." The producer said.
Y/N's mouth dropped open slightly, confused by the man's voice. Tilting her head, she could see the other male who currently had his arms crossed and was looking at her with a smug grin, probably celebrating that she was about to get scolded.
"What is it? Is it the lyrics? Am I off key? Do you want me to sing in a different tone." She could already feel her anxiety rising up.
"No Y/N. The pitch, the lyrics, all that is fine. It's just....there's no feeling whatsoever. This is supposed to be a love song yet it somehow feels extremely melancholic. It's like.....it's like I'm listening to an extremely talented zombie."
The younger male from behind nearly doubled over, a soft snort coming out his nose that he quickly drowned out by covering his mouth and pretended to cough. The girl in the booth blinked slowly, processing that words the producer just said to her.
"We're done for today. We'll continue recording another day. Just please Y/N, try to find some inspiration to help with the feeling of the song. Think of an idol you're crush on, your pet, your favorite food! I don't care! Just try to sound more convincing, please!"
Without so much as another word, the producer slammed the door behind him. Once the girl stepped out of the booth, her eyes darted over to the male in the couch, who could no longer contain himself and began bursting into laughter.
"Oh shut up you gorilla."
Grabbing one of the pillows, she tossed it at his face in vain as he merely caught it and stuffed it underneath his arm.
"I'm not the one who made the producer angry with that screeching of yours." He shrugged.
Letting out an offended scoff, Y/N placed her hands on her hips.
"I do not screech thank you! As if you did any better Jongho."
"Uh....last time I recall, I got through my first half of the song perfectly fine with no screw ups. You on the other hand have been recording over and over again cause you can't fix that hoarse throat of yours." He teased her.
"My voice is not hoarse!" She cried out.
"Ok sure whatever you say. It's ok, I promise I won't say anything about you sucking dick last night and that's why you can hardly talk let alone sing."
"Excuse me?" She raised an eyebrow at him, not amused with another one of his dirty jokes.
"I mean kind of unprofessional to do such things the night before a schedule, but who am I to judge a nymphomaniac?" Wiggling his eyebrows at her, he snorted loudly.
Y/N was going to retaliate the same way she usually did: strike back with a savage remark, insult him personally or even smack his head just for the fun of it. Although she couldn't deny that she probably deserved him teasing her since she was the one who started every time since they began working on the song together, she still felt like he went too far at times. Almost like an annoying brother who seemed to thrive out of making your life miserable. But this time, she wanted to turn it up a few levels, get Choi Jongho to eat his words and shut up once and for all.
"Oh? So you've heard the rumors then?"
He furrowed his eyebrows.
"What rumors?"
Giggling softly, she began to slowly walk over to him, making sure to put a little sway in her hips.
"The rumors about how I give some of the best blowjobs."
She nearly laughed when Jongho's eyes flung open, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly as he swallowed nervously at her words.
"Oh stop playing coy Jongho and just admit it." She brought her face down at eye level with him, Jongho pulling his gaze away immediately at her close proximity.
"Ad-admit what exactly?" He stuttered cutely.
Smirking down at him, she startled him when she suddenly straddled his lap, his hands clutching the leather material under him.
"Admit that you brought it up cause you want to experience that yourself." She ran her fingers through his soft black hair.
"Experience what exactly?" He shifted uncomfortably underneath her, face reddening as he began to feel a small tent begin to form in his jeans, prompting him to stop moving before she felt it.
But Y/N felt it, she could definitely feel his bulge poking at her ass. Unable to stop herself, she rolled her hips against Jongho's, who had a shocked expression on his face.
"Y/N!" He exclaimed, words caught in his throat as he thought about a way to get out of the situation.
"What? Isn't this what you wanted? All those times you made all those sex jokes, wasn't it just to get me like this? On top of you? Ready to sink myself on your cock and ride you as I want?"
Jongho stumbled over his words, small frustrated whimpers spilling out of his lips as his erection grew harder inside his pants due to the incessant roll off her hips. And the way he was involuntarily bucking his hips up at her wasn't helping at all. Leaning down, she grazed her lips over his, her warm breath ghosting over his mouth.
"Just tell me how you want me Jongho. On my knees, on all fours, on the wall? I bet you'd love showing off your strength as you pound my soaking cunt against the-"
"I'm a virgin!"
Once he yelled out those words, Y/N's movements halted. Her eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets as she looked down with extreme surprise at Jongho, whose flushed face and teary eyes told her he wasn't lying to her.
"You're what?!" She quickly got off him, afraid to even be closer than 6 feet from him after his revelation.
"I'm a virgin ok!? I've never done anything with anyone, I haven't even had my first kiss."
He looked utterly ashamed and humiliated having to admit all that, especially when he had a huge problem in between his legs, that Y/N felt really bad for him. She knew she probably took it too far, but how was she supposed to know that he was practically a saint?
"Then why would you always tease me with overly sexual jokes?" She demands to know.
"Because nothing else worked to get you mad. Everything else slid off like butter on you. Besides I had to get back at you for all the times you messed with me. You were the one who started being mean out of nowhere and for no reason."
She definitely couldn't deny that statement. Sighing softly, she leaned back on the chair behind her.
"Ok, I guess I'm sorry about it. I guess I can..... stop pestering you or whatever." She offered.
Jongho's eyes immediately lit up at her words, unable to contain that gummy smile of his.
"Really?"
Y/N didn't know what it was, but seeing him smile like that, looking so adorably innocent and naive, it sparked something in her. She looked him up and down, Jongho was certainly very attractive and she'd be lying if she said she had never thought about what he'd look like without clothes on, his physique was astounding to say the least. She didn't know what it was, but she knew she had to have him.
"If........you give me something in return."
Jongho looked at her in confusion wondering what on earth she could possibly want from him.
"And that is?"
Smiling fondly at him she answered:
"I want to take your virginity."
Jongho widened his eyes, his hand trembling softly.
"You want to what?"
"You heard me Jongho. I want to take your virginity."
He looked so appalled and frightened by her words, his eyes looking down at the floor that she immediately regretted having such thought in the first place. How could she possibly ask him to give up something which was possibly important and sacred to him.
"Look Jongho, I was only kidding. Don't worry about-"
"Ok fine."
Now it was her turn to be shocked.
"Wait. Are you serious?" She looked at him in disbelief.
He nodded, all fear and doubt from before gone.
"But I'm holding you to your word. You better start being nice or so help me I'll ruin your career."
She chuckled dryly at his threat.
"Don't worry, I promise I won't annoy you anymore."
They stood quiet for a few moments, unable to think of something else to say. Jongho was the first to speak up.
"So....should I take off my pants then?"
Y/N cringed at his words.
"Not right here right now Jongho. Maybe in a less public place, like I don't know, my apartment." She suggested.
"Oh right....." Jongho realized how dumb he probably sounded right at that moment.
"Let me know when you don't have any schedules, I'm going to be on break anyways for the next weeks after I finish my goodbye stage tomorrow at Music Bank, so I'll be free any day after that."
Jongho nodded.
"So we're really doing this?" He asked more to himself than to her.
"You can always back out at any point if you want." She reminded him.
"No! It's fine. I'll let you know when I'm available."
Getting up, Jongho grabbed his jacket and phone. Before leaving, he scared Y/N when he suddenly cupped her chin with one hand and kissed the top of her head.
"I'll see you soon Y/N. Take care."
★━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★
Y/N paced back and forth. One minute she was sitting quietly on her couch then suddenly she got up and grabbed a glass of water in the kitchen. Why was she so nervous? It's not like she wasn't experienced in sex, but for some reason she felt antsy about what was about to happen.
"Calm down. Just get it over with and try not to scare him to much." She mentally told herself.
She couldn't help but stare at her reflection in the mirror she had in the hallway. She looked at her attire consisting of plain black shorts and a dark grey oversized shirt. Should she change into something more cute? Or was she overdressed? She mentally face palmed herself for thinking that.
"I'm going to end up naked in the end, who the fuck cares about what I'm wearing?" She shook her head at her stupidity.
Hearing the doorbell ring, she actually jumped slightly and let out a small shriek. She took a deep breath and sped over to the front door, hesitating for a second or two as her hand hovered over the handle. Wanting to get it over with, she turned it and opened the door in a rather hasty manner.
"Hey." Jongho shyly greeted her, mask still covering his face, his hat pulled down to hide his forehead.
"Hey you." She moved out of the way to let him inside.
Taking off his mask, hat and jacket, Jongho neatly put them on the rack Y/N had on the front door, making sure to also take off his shoes. Turning around, he looked around everywhere but at her, his hands in his pockets as he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet.
"How was your day?" She asked him.
"Ummm tiring. I spent most of the day filming with the Hyungs for the new drama we're going to be in. So yeah....." He answered softly.
"Oh I see. Yeah I remember how acting schedules were. Are you hungry? I can whip up some ramen for you fast."
Not giving him time to answer, she took his hand and led him into the kitchen. She began rummaging through her cabinets, taking out a few packets of ramen, thinking Jongho was no doubt hungry.
"Would you like some water? Juice? I made lemonade this morning that-"
She instantly shut up and dropped the ramen packets on the floor when Jongho's hand gripped her wrist and turned her around to face him. He looked nervous, she could feel how his hand trembled against her wrist, and she knew she was probably also mirroring the same expression as he was. Nevertheless, he was determined in what he was going to do. His eyes were fixed firmly on her lips which looked so soft and delicate. Before he and she knew it, he was leaning down and pressing his lips against hers, giving her a faint whisper of a kiss. If Y/N could she would have giggled at how cute he was being, giving her the exact kiss she expected from someone who was having his first kiss. But she held herself back, letting him enjoy himself.
Pulling back, Jongho pressed his forehead against hers, eyes scanning to see her reaction.
"Was it terrible?"
She shook her head and smiled at him with a warm expression.
"No, on the contrary, I enjoyed it."
Unable to help herself, she wrapped her arms up his neck and began pecking his lips.
"Have I told you you're absolutely adorable?"
Now it was his turn to smile as he began to reciprocate her kisses.
"No. You usually called me a bother, gorilla, oversized panda or something like that."
Y/N hummed softly as she slowly began to deepen their kisses, enclosing her lips over Jongho's, her tongue running itself on his upper lip.
"Open your mouth." She gently told him when he didn't get the hint.
Parting his lips slightly, Jongho let out a tiny muffled whine when he felt her tongue poke against his, swirling around his mouth in slow and slimy movements. He felt so awkward having her practically devour his mouth, pulling his tongue between her lips and giving them a slight suck. Feeling him get really awkward, Y/N pulled back.
"Not a fan so far?" She nuzzled her nose against his.
He let out a groan.
"How can you people enjoy it? Feels like an eel is trying to attack me."
Y/N laughed softly at his comparison, not offended but understanding it would take time for him to get used to certain things.
"Hmmm ok. Then let's try something else."
Starting at his jaw, Y/N placed tiny butterfly kisses across it, lowering them down onto his neck. She concentrated on the way his breath would hitch when she'd kiss a certain place, tongue poking out to test the waters and so far he seemed to be ok with it. But he still hardly made any reaction. Did he also not like neck kisses? Or had she not found the right-
"Oh-oh.." Jongho inhaled sharply, his hands coming over to cling onto her hips when she had placed a lick on top of his neck mole.
"So that's where it was."
She mentally smiled before latching her mouth back on top of the patch of skin, suckling on his sensitive spot which had Jongho mumbling something incoherent.
"...feels good.." She made out a few words.
"Yeah? You like this?"
Letting out a tiny gasp when he felt her bite down on his neck, Jongho's head tilted back so she could have more access, eyes shut tight while his bottom lip was caught between his teeth. He didn't think he'd be that receptive to her suckling, yet here he found himself, pressed against her kitchen counter, barely able to keep his hands away from her as they were now sliding down to cup her ass. Kneading at the soft skin, he didn't notice he had begun to rut himself on her thigh which was currently between his legs until she had pulled back and told him about it.
"You're already this turned on by just a hickey?" She gazed down in between their bodies.
"Oh?......I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"
Shutting him up with a kiss, she linked their hands together before pulling him out of the kitchen.
"Don't apologize."
Jongho allowed himself to be lead into her room, letting her guide him to the bed where he obediently layed down on. He was unsure of what to do when he felt her tug at his shirt.
"Off."
It was a simple command yet he found it hard to bring himself to do it. He began to feel self conscious. Although he was proud of his body, would she think the same way? What if she preferred less bulky men? Or what if she didn't think he was that fit? It seemed Y/N knew what he was thinking about since she slipped her hands underneath his shirt, lightly caressing his bare torso.
"Don't be shy. I bet you look fine."
Raising his arms over his head so it'd be easier for her to help him slip his shirt off, he looked at her and blushed slightly when her eyes raked over his arms, his muscles flexing unconsciously.
"Ok well, bet lost. You look better than fine." She fought hard to keep herself from drooling over his large built. Jongho truly was one of the most mesmerizing idols she had ever seen, and she had seen a lot of them since she debuted.
"So think my body looks ok?"
Instead of replying, Y/N opted for hunching over and start giving his chest open mouth kisses. She didn't break eye contact whatsoever as she dragged her tongue down his abs, further flustering the poor boy who was eyeing her every movements very carefully. The further down she got, the more needy he seemed to be getting. Suddenly his jeans felt too confining, too restricting. He got an urgent need in between his legs that he had never felt so intensely as he felt at that moment.
"Y/N....." He called out to her, fingertips grazing her hair.
Retracting her mouth from his stomach, which now had a purple mark forming, Y/N looked up at him with concern.
"Do you want me to stop?"
Jongho shook his head. Bucking his hips up against her body, he licked his lower lip.
"Please do something."
When she still didn't understand what he meant, he took hold of her hand and placed it on his crotch, making her subtly squeeze at the hardness. Getting the hint, Y/N thought it would be a little fun to tease him just once more.
"What? Want me to take you out of these pants?" With a roll of her palm, she had Jongho hissing lightly as she groped at his hard on.
"Yes please. Touch me." He urged her to continue.
Wanting to please him, she began undoing his zipper, opening up his pants before dragging them down his thick thighs along with his underwear. She had to flinch her head back when his girthy cock sprang free and nearly hit against her chin. She had her mouth agape as she took in his size, resting on top of his stomach.
"Jesus, I knew you'd be big but I didn't think you'd be..... that big."
Jongho giggled nervously at her comment.
"Well thanks for that."
Pretty soon, his pants were also discarded on the floor. Y/N took in the sight of Jongho fully naked on her bed, chest slowly rising up and lowering back down, anxious to find out what she was going to do next. Settling herself between his legs, she hummed softly before taking a hold of his base, that action alone making him tense up.
"Just relax ok? I know it'll probably feel awkward for you at first but just try not to think too much." She encouraged him.
Jongho nodded and decided to not look down at her, instead choosing to gaze up at the ceiling above him. He grimaced slightly when he heard and felt her spit on his dick, feeling odd about having her saliva ooze down his length. But soon after, he let out a sighed softly as he felt what he assumed was her hand running up and down his shaft. He couldn't help but close his eyes as he began to get lost in the euphoric feeling. He would occasionally inhale sharply everytime her thumb would run itself along his slit, hips rolling up to match the strokes she placed on his cock. Jongho already felt a blissful sensation that he thought couldn't get any better.....and then he felt something warm wrap around his head.
"Oh- fuck!" Jongho's eyes shot up as he stared down to find Y/N giving his tip the most subtle of sucks yet it was more than enough to make him go wild.
"Sorry. You just looked too irresistible that I just had to. Hope you don't mind." She winked at him before sinking more of him into her mouth.
His cock twitched when he felt himself hit the back of her throat, the gagging sound she made making him worry momentarily, but it was obvious it didn't bother her as she just dragged her tongue down to his base before coming back up and taking all of him inside her mouth once more. Her head began bobbing up and down as lewd slurping noises spilled from her mouth. Sloppily, she'd swirl her tongue around him, sometimes even dipping it into his slit when she would pull back before going back down until her nose touched his pubic bone. Meanwhile Jongho had his hands fisting the blanket underneath him, his hips trying to hold back from grinding up against Y/N's mouth in fear of accidentally hurting her. When she gave him a particularly harsh suck, his hips jerked up and he was immediately pushing her face away.
"Stop! T-too much!" He gasped out, already looking out of breath with sweat beads forming along his hairline.
"I'm sorry, guess I got a little carried away." She wiped some of the drool and precum that collected around her chin.
While he layed there trying to collect himself, Y/N took the opportunity to begin stripping herself out of her clothes. Throwing her shirt over her head, Jongho whimpered when he saw that she had worn no bra underneath her garment, her bare chest greeting him out of nowhere. He couldn't peel his eyes from her, looking up at her in amazement and admiration as she sat on top of him completely nude.
"You're beautiful..." He didn't realize he said it out loud.
"Really? You think so? I was a little worried since I gained a bit of weight during my hiatus." She pouted slightly.
"Oh trust me, you have nothing to be worried about. You're gorgeous." He couldn't help himself but praise her, feeling himself fall deeper into her charms.
Pulling him up, Y/N wrapped her arms around him, lips coming down to kiss him tenderly, making sure not to slip any tongue in his mouth since he obviously didn't enjoy it very much. Jongho seemed to have gained a little more confidence, his hands coming up to caress her back, before fully embracing her with his arms, pulling her closer against him. As he shifted underneath her, his cock made contact with her wet core, making them both moan into each other's mouths before pulling away, their breaths getting caught in their throats.
Looking at him one last time, Y/N had to ask.
"Are you completely sure you still wanna go through with this?"
Jongho didn't hesitate, instead laying back down as he looked up at her.
"Yes I'm sure. Just please.....be gentle." He begged her.
Fighting back her urges to just ruin him completely, Y/N took a hold of his base and lined him up against her opening. Wanting to take it slow, she first slipped his head inside.
"You doing ok so far?"
He nodded reassuringly.
"Yeah....feels kinda like having your mouth around it, only it's a lot warmer and more tighter."
Slowly and slowly, Y/N began to sink lower onto his length before fully sitting on top of him. Jongho let out a choked out gasp as her hole covered him entirely, squeezing him all around.
"H-holy!" He cried out in a raspy tone, fingers reaching out to grip at her thighs to help him stabilize himself.
Y/N waited a few seconds to let him adjust to the newfound feeling, smiling to herself whenever she felt his cock twitch inside of her.
"I'm going to pull back out now ok?" She explained.
Pushing herself off him she then lowered herself back onto him, moaning softly as he stretched her walls out deliciously. She kept a steady pace, making sure to slow back down whenever he seemed to get agitated or overwhelmed her strokes which she noticed by the way his breathing became more erratic or how his nails began digging into her flesh. Taking his hands off her thighs, she held them in her own, bringing one of them up to place a kiss on the back of it.
"You're doing great so far Jongho."
Hearing her praise him sent his heart fluttering, his eyes locked on where their bodies were connected, breathing and panting heavily everytime he watched himself disappear inside her folds before reappearing again, only to be safely enveloped once more by her velvet like walls. He felt an unfamiliar feeling begin to build up in his core, it felt like one of the many times he had secretly jerked off back in the dorms, but this one felt stronger and more intense. He couldn't keep himself from squirming as he began to shudder against his will underneath Y/N.
"Y/N! It's- oh my!" He couldn't fully comprehend what was happening to him, he just felt himself spiraling down into some hazy state.
"It's ok baby, just let it go. You're about to cum, it's ok. Just cum for me, show me how good you're feeling." She cooed at him lovingly.
Through shivering and stuttered whimpers, Jongho came inside her, his cum spurting out in heavy pumps as he coated her insides entirely. Y/N made sure to slow down so as to not overstimulate him, the orgasm he was going through probably already being too much for him. She just watched as his eyebrows were furrowed, a tiny vein protruding out from his forehead, mouth hanging open as his entire features were illuminated by extreme pleasure and euphoria. Her movements completely stilled after a while, taking a minute or two before pulling out of him entirely, a tiny trail of his cum leaking out and dripping down one of her thighs. Brushing some of his hair out of his face, she kissed his cute button nose.
"How are you feeling?" She studied his features.
Through hooded eyes, he smiled shyly up at her.
"Like I'm in heaven."
She chuckled at his answer, her hand stroking his cheek in a gentle motion, making him melt even further into her touch.
"I wish we could spend more time like this....just cuddled up together like this. Touching each other like this." He confessed, eyes staring deeply into hers.
"Who says we can't?" She arched an eyebrow.
"I mean...... but like.... you don't like me in that way do you?" He braced himself for what he expected to be rejection, but surprisingly Y/N simply kissed his cheek.
"I'm actually growing quite fond of you Jongho... I think I would really enjoy spending more time alone like this with you."
Once again his gummy smile overtook his features, making him look even more handsome than what he already was. Jongho felt absolutely happy to hold her in his arms, have her smile at him with that breathtaking smile of hers. Then suddenly he realized something.
"Ummm.... you didn't cum did you?"
He felt so bad when she shook her head, his head slumping back on the pillow as he let out a dissatisfied groan. Y/N however didn't seemed too bothered by it.
"Jongho, it was your first time. I knew you were probably going to cum before me. It's perfectly normal."
Her words didn't give him much assurance.
"Still, I feel bad. Do you want me to do something?" He offered.
"Well actually...."
With a mischievous grin, she spread his legs and ran her hands along his firm and toned thighs, eyeing them as if they were some exotic dessert. Jongho gave her a puzzled look when she straddled one of them, her juices already soaking his bare skin.
"Just stay still and let me introduce you to a little something called thigh riding."
301 notes · View notes
killerskillercaptain · 4 years ago
Text
Forget Me Not - part I
Tumblr media
this work is based on this request
pairing : levi ackerman x reader
wc 1,8 k +
themes : reincarnation au, canonverse to modern au, Levi and Reader both reincarnate in modern au, Levi remembers his past life, reader does not.
warnings : lots of angst, death of reader, cursing.
You dragged your blades along the flesh of another titan's neck, tearing through it just enough to kill the giant. You watched the titan fall and crash while you landed on the ground using your ODM gear.
"Shit !" you muttered a bit panicked
Those were your last usable blades, all of the others already broke and the remaining ones were too damaged, weathered by the long and repetitive moves.
You looked around you, there were so many soldiers dead, their bodies lying flat on the ground, but you couldn't spot a single blade fit for use near any of the corpses, all of their swords had either been snapped in half, crushed or are still planted on the giant bodies trying to eat you alive.
Never had a battle been so demanding and tiresome, you don't recall seing a mission this gruesome, and you were a vet ! If there was a hell on earth, this would be it. Even the weather wasn't in your favor; it was raining blood, the air was filled with a repugnant smell that you soldiers were all too familiar with, the smell of titans body fluids and body parts rotting not far away from you. All of this was bearable you thought, grown accustomed to, what was never tolerable was the cries of your comrades getting eaten alive. The sound of their bodies crushed or getting bitten sounded new each time. It was strange, there was all this killing going on, all these horrible deaths happening right now, the rain and the muffled sounds of bones being crushed at the palms of faith, and some last words you could barely comprehend, but strangely enough, time seemed to stop for you, everything around you began to become distant and you could feel what resembled a calmness inside the turmoil inside of you. What was this odd feeling you thought, looking down at your hands, you observed the spoilt blades of your two swords, your hands weren't shaking anymore, and you found yourself in a bizarre state of apathy.
Did you accept your nearing death ? Were you going to stop fighting and let today be your last ? What could you do ? There were still more titans than soldiers, you were on your knees, incapable of making them move, even if there was a blade you could use on a body somewhere, you wouldn't be able to reach it without getting in the visual field of a titan, it would be like rushing to your death. You were stuck, your years of experience had taught you to assess quickly and effectively situations, and you knew you couldn't kill or save now, you could only run for your life, an option you couldn't bring yourself to do, maybe someone will come, someone with reinforcement and equipment.
You couldn't desert a battlefield. Looking up at the sky, you closed your eyes, cancealing the horrors of your surroundings, you prayed for one person to show up, only one person could make a way out of this hopeless situation.
Eyes still closed, you thought about Levi Ackerman, you wondered where he could be right now, you thought about the way he methodically does his job, nice and clean, no one being able to match his skills, you thought about how much he hated casualties and pointless deaths. As foolish and frivolous it was, you thought about his jet black hair and the way it would fall on his face while he escapes from a titan's grip, how his jaw clenches when he's faced with a particularly bothersome specimen, you weren't aware you picked up on those things until now, not to forget how his body spins, like a dancer in a deadly ballet. You also thought about how he always kept an eye on you every time you were together on a field, his eyes always trying to locate you somehow, you caught him so many times throwing worried glances at you, especially in dangerous situations, more than any other of his comrades. Did it mean anything ? You never thought about it that way, come to think of it, you never knew what Levi Ackerman thought of you, were you just a another comrade to him or someone more important ? Those questions were going to stay unanswered. All those times you caught him eyeing you, overprotecting you, asking you if you ate, slept, rested at the most random of occasions.
And him ? Did he know what you thought of him ?
You felt the ground tremble underneath you all of a sudden, you looked beside you and you saw a giant human-like feet, its nails extremely dirty, a long and deep cut carving an opening at its ankle, leaving the insides completely visible. When did you get accustomed to such disgusting sights ? The titan bent over, watching your form, you were looking up at him now.
He has a friendly face you thought.
You pictured Levi in your head, for maybe what you thought was your last moment. He hated futile losses.
"Don't you dare die on me" he always said.
An ear piercing sound blew out of nowhere and a black signal tore the sky apart. You saw a small figure jump from tree to tree using an ODM gear, you didn't recognize who it was until the silhouette landed next to you, only inches away. Blood and rain on his face, Levi pulled you up by your underarm.
"GET UP ! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING ?
"I don't- i don't know what had gotten into me Levi"
"I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT MOVE IT"
He let go of your arm and grabbed you by the collar of your cape and forced you to stand on your now shaky legs.
"I'm out of gas Levi"
"What ?"
If you've never seen Levi panic, you did now. His eyes darted around frenetically, from the titans to the dead bodies then back to you again. He was grabbing you by the arm again, you could feel his long fingers digging into your forearm, he was tense and panicking. Panicking because both of you didn't have horses, but mostly because he had only one gas bottle left.
Levi looked down, trying to asses the situation and come with a plan for both of you to shun the titans and get out safely while having just enough gas for one person. Feeling a hot puff on the top of your heads you both looked up just in time to see two big eyes and a large mouth ready to chop both of your heads off, Levi shot his grapple hooks and pulled you by the waist with him, you escaped this one, but he couldn't guarantee the others, this situation couldn't go one he thought. You landed far enough to be out of reach from the titan who just attacked you, but you could already spot two blonde abnormals noticing you and coming for you. Levi quickly grabbed his gas container and detached it from his gear.
"Here ! Take it ! This should be enough for you to escape far from titan territory !" Levi shouted under the heavy cascade of rain.
"What ? No !"
"Don't be fucking stupid ! Take it ! I can manage to escape without it somehow ! Forget about completing the mission ! We retreat NOW !"
You reached for the container and placed it on your own gear before standing up. One of the abnormal had come so close now you could see the veins on his ridiculously large stomach. Levi grabbed your arm one last time "I'm going to shot my hooks at the nearest tree, i'm gonna distract this one so you can escape ! You take the opposite direction"
You nodded while the ground shook harder now that the titan was in front of you, his gigantic form casting its shadow over you. You actioned your hand grips, your hooks flew right into a tree in the opposite direction of where Levi went, you prepared yourself to use the gas to speed up.
Levi thinking the titan would naturally follow him instead, landed on a giant oak before turning around. His face darkened as soon as his eyes landed on you. You were struggling to get past the titan who was still chasing you and ignoring Levi, how come you weren't moving fast, the amount of gas should have been enough.
Levi's felt his heart stop and sink down his stomach, he instinctively reached behind him and pulled up the container he still had.
It was full.
He had given you the wrong gas container.
He mixed them up and gave you the empty one.
That's why you were so slow, too slow.
Too late.
Looking up, afflicted, he launched forward screaming your name, but it was in vain and he knew it. He couldn't take his eyes off your small figure getting picked up by a giant human hand who didn't have the any struggle catching up with you.
You think you heard him scream
You think you heard him scream your name
You're not sure, but you think you heard him slash the titan's fingers and landing with you on the ground, the titan's blood pouring down on both of you, hot and sticking.
For a moment, you thought you were going to make it, but you got suddenly conscious of the grotesque laceration on your lower abdomen and knew that this was it. You weren't going to make it.
An indescribable pain, a man's cry of misery, and cold blood running through your veins, you watched your vision go black, and for a split of second, the feeling of falling down an immense pit was all you could think of, the voice of Levi's cries resonating against the walls of what you assumed was your consciousness.
"I'm sorry ! I'm so sorry !" "Forgive me !"
***
When you opened your eyes, the sunlight blasting through a nearby window blasted your vision, when your eyes adjusted to the lightening, you realized you were in a room painted with an immaculate white.
How did you get in this hospital room ?
Wait, how did you know this was a hospital room ?
Because it looks familiar
You tried to recall anything prior to this instant, but you couldn't. Your mind was blank, you grabbed your head with your two hands, how come your memory was so blank ?
Outside of the building, you could hear chanting ambulances and honking cars in the distance, making your head throb painfully. You looked at your right, a bed table was there, on top was a bottle of mineral water, your keys, and your purse with a stethoscope dangling from it. There was also flowers dipping in a small amount of water inside a glass.
Your purse ? Your keys ? You don't remember coming here by yourself ! You tried to get up and get out of bed but the thumping inside your head quickly urged you to lay back down rapidly. You closed your eyes to try and shut the pain but heard footsteps shuffling cautiously inside the room, eyes still closed you heard a familiar soft and young voice ask if you were awake.
117 notes · View notes
shera-dnd · 3 years ago
Text
So ya girl failed miserably at taking part in the frostbyte week when she promised to, so to compensate I'm joining ROSEBIRD WEEK! And of course I'm starting with the freaking angst, because this little fic is for day 3: Gried/Regret
Hope y'all enjoy it.
Of all her journeys in these past couple of years, Ruby Rose found the trek back to Patch to be the most difficult stretch. Not because she was being hunted, not because the weather was foul, not because she got lost. But because of where she was going, and why.
She was returning to the place where her journey began, that lonely gravestone overlooking the forests below, and for once the journey was peaceful. There had been no accidents, no attacks, only a quiet and all too lonely trek through the woods...just so she could say goodbye to her mom.
So when she stepped out of the treeline, she was surprised to find that she wasn’t the only one there; perched atop her mother’s grave was a single black bird with red eyes. It looked at her curiously, but made no motion to leave.
Ruby was slow and cautious in her approach, not wanting to provoke the bird. Thankfully it did not seem to mind her much, only caring to give the most minimal of glances in her direction once she had stepped close to the gravestone.
“Hey there, little guy,” she tried to greet it, to no response, “are you here to talk to her too?”
The bird cawed at her, but did not move.
“It’s just that...I was expecting to do this alone,” no response. Okay, guess she’s gonna have to do this with some extra company then.
She sighed and slumped to her knees, but tried to keep a positive attitude. A skill that she had more than mastered after these past few years.
“I guess I could use some company,” she commented casually, “so…did you know her?”
The raven looked at her funny, but did not respond.
“I guess not,” Ruby shrugged, “well, she was my mom, and she was the best mom anyone could ask for. She was sweet, and kind, and brave. She would bake us cookies, and then go fight giant monsters,” she couldn’t help but smile as those old memories came back to her, “she was incredible.”
Until other memories came flooding too.
“Even when bad people tried to take her away, even when they tried to make her as bad as them…even then she kept fighting. She fought because she wanted to make the world a safer place,” she could still hear that voice, completely distorted, but still hers, “for me, for Yang...for all of us.”
Fingernails dug into her palms, and her eyes burned with tears she refused to shed. She was just talking about her. She hadn’t even said what she needed to say, she couldn’t start crying now.
She hadn’t realized that the bird was staring at her now, studying her intently as if it could understand every word she had said.
“I…I think you’d like her,” she spoke to the raven, trying to bring back some levity.
The bird seemed to finally have realized it was intruding - or more realistically just grew bored of her - and flew away, cawing a couple of times on its way out. Leaving Ruby alone with her mother.
A hand traced over the engravings on the stone. The symbol of a rose, her mother’s emblem, and also her own. Under it was her name, Summer Rose, and the words “Thus Kindly I Scatter”. Ruby had read those words to exhaustion, ran her hand over those engravings until she worried she might cause them to fade away, she had come to this grave to speak to her mother more times than she could have counted.
She knew her mother hadn’t been buried under that stone, she knew her body had never been recovered, but she could never have dreamed of what had happened to her, even in her worst nightmares. But even though her body wasn’t there, that single stone still brought her comfort, and she still came here for a reason.
“Hey, mom, it’s been a while,” she greeted, voice weak, “a lot happened since we last talked. Been to Mistral, Atlas, Vacuo, even outside space and time for a while,” she forced herself to chuckle at that one, “we met some new people, some good, some bad...most good, and we even made some friends too.”
Her hand shifted and she fidgeted with the hem of her skirt.
“I’m a huntress now, thought you’d like to know that. I also learned about the maidens, and the relics...and Salem. I know you probably didn’t want me to get involved in any of this, but once I knew what was at stake I couldn’t just sit back and let others suffer,” she tried to breathe, tried to center herself and calm down a little, but her breath was shaky, “I guess you would know how that feels...that’s why you kept going on missions, right? You couldn’t just sit back and let it happen.”
“I hope…,” no that wasn’t the right word, “...I think you’d be proud of us, mom.”
She hadn’t noticed when the tears had started, but she could feel them now, rolling down her cheeks and landing on the stone below. She also hadn’t noticed that the bird had returned.
“I know…I know you’re not really here. I know your body is out there, getting toyed with by Salem,” she flinched at the terrible memories that assaulted her, of her mother’s eyes staring from inside a beast’s maw, “but that thing isn’t you. My mom died trying to make the world a better place, she died protecting her family. My mom…” her hands were shaking, her vision was blurry and she sobbed, “my mom isn’t a monster! No matter what Salem does.”
Behind her stood the raven, large and menacing with her red armor, and a sword hanging from her side, though her posture was far from threatening. Tears that she had refused to shed for years now streamed uncontrollably down her face. One hand covered her mouth, trying to muffle any sobs that might try to escape it, and the other reached for the girl before her, quivering barely an inch above her shoulder.
She wanted to comfort her, show her that she wasn’t alone, but she couldn’t, not after all those horrible things she had done.
“I...I have to say goodbye now, mom,” Ruby continued, wiping her tears on the back of her sleeves, “for good. We’re going to fight Salem soon, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to come back, but I promise that no matter what happens…,” trembling hands clenched into fists, and her voice found the strength it had lost, “we won’t let her win! We’ll put your body to rest, and we’ll stop her no matter what! I know how powerful she is, but I also know that we can stop her, that we can make the world a safer place. And then...and then your sacrifice won’t have been in vain!”
The wind blew through her hair, the trees rustled behind her, Ruby sniffled, but there was no response. She knew there wouldn’t be any, but the silence was still heavy on her. It dragged on and on, allowing her fears and anxieties to return, to begin to dig away at what little confidence she had left. But before she was allowed to crumble again, the raven spoke.
“You sound just like her.”
Ruby had heard those words before, spoken by that same voice. Though the first time it had been stained by disdain and mockery, now it shook and trembled under the weight of soul crushing regret.
This time it sounded like grief.
She turned around to see her, to look the raven in the eye, but she was already gone, leaving behind only the silence, and a single black feather, slowly falling to the tear stained ground.
32 notes · View notes
221bshrlocked · 4 years ago
Text
One Too Many
Pairing: Marcus Pike x Fem!Reader
Words: 1541
Warnings: Drinking. Awkward confessions. Spiraling thoughts. Cuddling.
Summary: Perhaps that last drink was one too many...
A/N: For @autumnleaves1991-blog Writer Wednesday Picture Prompt. I feel like I might just turn these prompts into little Pike oneshots. Sorry this was late I'm not myself lately for some reason. Let me know how I’m doing in the comments please and thank you. Add yourself to the taglist here.
Tumblr media
"Are you kidding me?" You throw your cards on the table and relax back into the couch, taking a long sip from the beer can in front of you before standing up and pulling off your tank top. You shake your head as you add it on top of the pile of clothes you've been losing for the past couple of turns.
"Guess I underestimated you Pike," you lay back again and tilt your head to the side to rest it on the pillow behind you, watching as Marcus does everything in his power to avoid looking at your exposed skin.
"And I thought you'd be better at this," he replies as he mirrors you and shugs down the rest of his drink, all the while refusing to acknowledge how almost naked you are.
"Go on then, deal." You point at the cards as you lean forward again and push the beer cans aside.
"Maybe we should stop..." He collects the cards and sets them on the side of the table, barely meeting your eyes for a few seconds before he feigns checking his phone.
"What? You're not getting shy on me now, are you Pike?" You smile when he blushes underneath your scrutiny and huffs in irritation.
"N-no, we just had too many drinks, and I...and you look cold so-"
"I'm sitting in front of you in nothing but my bra and panties, and you're worried about me being cold? God, who are you?" You stand up and make your way to the fridge to bring out some more beer.
"No no, that's enough for you." Marcus runs behind you immediately and shuts the door to the fridge before filling up a glass of water and handing it to you.
"Wha-"
"Drink the damn water...please," Marcus whispers, and you frown at him as you drink the cold liquid. Marcus can't look away from the way your throat bobs up and down as you drink, and he almost moans when a few drops of water escape the corner of your mouth and roll down your neck. When you put the glass back on the counter and turn to him, you find the blush from earlier much darker. As you follow his line of sight, you smile to yourself and raise an eyebrow at his shameless staring.
"See something you like, Agent?" You tease him and try not to giggle when he drags his eyes away from you and apologizes for making you uncomfortable.
"You didn't make me uncomfortable. You never do. It's why I like you so goddamn much actually. You're always so kind to everyone, even when they don't deserve it. And you're really good at your job, and you make sure everyone knows how much you rely on them to do theirs even though you probably don't need any of us because you're smart and- and...ugh, now I probably made you uncomfortable. I- I can't help it, I'm sorry. You're just so perfect. Perfect and sweet and- and pretty."
Marcus doesn't know what to do other than stand still as you continue to lean into him. His breath hitches when he feels the palms of your hands on his cheeks, and he feels bad for not shaving earlier because the last thing he wants is to cause your soft hands discomfort. He's grown even quieter somehow and shuts his eyes as soon as he feels your thumb caressing his lower lip.
"And you have the most kissable lips I've ever seen. I've wanted to kiss them for so long..s-so long." Marcus thinks you're going to do it, and he prepares himself to feel your lips against his. But then you're pulling away from him and leaning back on the counter, whispering something beneath your breath and making Marcus open his eyes. He watches as you hug yourself and try to appear smaller, and when he stretches out his hand to try and bring you into his arms, you wriggle away from him and apologize.
"I'm s-sorry, I- I think I had one too many drinks. I should go and- oh god, what did I do?" You're talking to the floor, and Marcus finally realizes the power dynamic between the two of you. Before you spiral any further, Marcus walks around until he's standing in front of you. He takes hold of your shoulder and shakes you lightly to grab your attention.
"Sweetheart, I need you to listen to me. Can you do that?" He asks calmly and waits until you nod at him before he continues.
"Here's what's going to happen. I'm going to give you some change of clothes, and you're going to stay for the night. I'll take the couch, and you can take my room alright? There's a lock on it so you don't have to worry about-"
"I'd never think you'd do anything to me, Marcus." You cut him off suddenly and Marcus feels his heart skip a beat at how angry you sounded.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. We can talk about all of this tomorrow morning, yeah? You're not in trouble sweetheart. You and I had too many drinks, and we need to discuss this with clearer heads. Does that sound like a plan?" He looks at you in a way that makes your stomach twist and you nod at him before you move across the living room. Ever the gentleman, he throws his suit jacket around you as he helps you walk to his bedroom and once you're inside, he hands you one of his pajamas and tells you to change into them. As you do, Marcus heads back to the kitchen, grabbing some Tylenol and a glass of water before returning to his room. He stops at the foot of the door when he sees you in his pajamas, gulping nervously and trying to calm himself as he approaches you.
"These are for when you wake up tomorrow. Do you need anything else?" He asks as he tucks you in, smiling when you shake your head and shut your eyes as you feel him brushing your hair aside.
"T-thank you." He barely hears your murmur and nods at you before standing up and heading out of the room.
"Good night sweetheart." Marcus calls out just as he shuts the door to his room and he clenches his fist on the knob when he hears you call after him in return.
"Good night Marcus."
He stands in the middle of his living room and looks around. Marcus begins to clean up shortly after when he realizes that there's no way he will get any rest tonight. He tried his hardest not to get attached to a colleague again but you were different. Just hearing you talk about him made his heart flutter and he hoped that it wasn't the beer talking. He wasn't sure what he'd do if you woke up tomorrow morning and told him that none of what you said was true.
So busy moving back and forth from the kitchen and the living room, Marcus didn't notice you coming up behind him and standing in the middle of the hallway. When he turns around and sees you standing there, he stops what he's doing and approaches you slowly.
"Everything okay? Do you need anything?"
"I- I don't want to be alone tonight." You break the silence and Marcus' breath hitches when he registers what you're asking of him.
"Sweetheart, I- I don't think I should- you've had a lot to drink and you probably need some space to-"
"Please," the soft whimper shakes Marcus to his core and he immediately nods before shutting off the lights and following you back into his room. You waste no time at all and slither back underneath the covers. Marcus grabs his sweatpants and moves to the bathroom to change. His nerves are eating him up, but he reminds himself that you needed him to be his usual self right now. Walking out in his white undershirt and sweatpants, Marcus moves around the bed and slips into the covers. As soon as he shuts off the nightstand lamp, you're crawling across the bed and into his arms, not bothering to say anything as you rest your hand on his chest and nuzzle into his side. It takes him a few seconds to collect his bearings before he wraps his arm around you and leans down to kiss your forehead.
"Is this okay sweetheart?" He asks and shuts his eyes when you somehow grow closer to him.
"Y-yes."
"Alright, sweet dreams baby." Marcus knows he shouldn't be calling you such intimate pet names but he can't hold himself back, not when you were touching him like he was yours. Like you were his. He doesn't have to wait for too long to hear your soft snores and against his better judgment, he turns on his side and faces you, immediately wrapping his other arm around your back to bring you into his chest.
Having you in his arms, with your hands fisting in the front of his shirt, makes Marcus realize that his previous efforts were all in vain.
He was already attached to you. And he hoped to god that the feeling was mutual.
Tumblr media
Pedro Pascal (and any of his characters):
@pastel-0-princess @feelmyroarrrr @libbymouse @its--fandom--darling @spideysimpossiblegirl @princess76179 @cheekygeek05 @miraclesoflove @purple-mango @freeshavocadoooo @metalarmsandmanbuns @acthenerd @greeneyedblondie44 @cannedsoupsucks @purplepascal042 @talesfromtheguild @f0rever15elf @vibin-hippie @onesmokinbabe @leaiorganas @words-way-of-life @kideyz @lovesickmadsadpoet @niall7inches @rosiefridayrogersunday @tati-adventures @sleep-tight1 @itsfreeekinbats @cybergroupie @vibin-hippie @marsplsstop @mouthymandalorian @diogodxlot @janebby @juletheghoul @bii-aan-ckaa @nohartandsole @djjarins @lamelyssher @giselatropicana
103 notes · View notes
local-cry-baby · 4 years ago
Text
It's A Promise (Barry x Reader)
so sinnoh remakes (and premakes?!) has been confirmed and of course the first thing I had to do was write a short fic on one of my favorite rival of all time
Sorry but I had to ten year old me had a massive crush on this character lol
writing; short story
word count; 2781
genre; friendship & hurt/comfort (very subtle romance)
reader; gender neutral
au; takes place after the events of DPPt (also Barry has freckles if that counts)
summary; your plans for summer has been hijacked by a certain hyperactive boy
Image
Tumblr media
Half asleep you heard the Starlys chirp and trill and the Kricketots chime in harmony with one another, announcing the arrival of morning. You shifted slightly in bed, pulling the covers closer to you and yawned. The best feeling in the world you believe was hearing the sound of the world rousing to the start of a new day and knowing you didn't have to wake up along with it. With a content sigh you roll on your side, slowly drifting off to sleep...
Tap! Tap! Tap!
You furrow your brows slightly at the sound but quickly relaxed, smiling softly to yourself...
TAP! TAP! TAP!
You assume it was just a Starly or two messing outside your window so you chose to ignore it, opting to pull the covers over your head. You sighed again, this time in annoyance, as you try to fall asleep...
Click! Scree!
"Psst! (Y/N), are you sleeping?"
Your eyes open in disbelief as you immediately recognize the voice and just process the fact that he happen to somehow open your bedroom window to ask the obvious. 'Say it ain't so.’ You turned to face your window to see Barry there, arms resting on top of the sill as he watched you with a curious expression which was soon beaming with excitement once he saw you. "Oh good, you're awake!" Like you weren't sleeping to begin with.
"Wha? Barry what are you doing here?" You asked groggily. "Aren't you suppose to be at Pastoria City with Wake?"
"It's summer, duh! Crasher Wake gave me the week off and since your school is closed for vacation I thought it was perfect to catch up and hang out together this week!" Barry had this lively vibe around him that practically made him glow like a ray of sun leaving you dizzy with exhaustion. You plop back in bed with a groan knowing your plans to sleep in till afternoon for the whole week was ruined. "So at first I was thinking of going to the Great Marsh like we use to for old time sake" Barry began as he climbed right in sitting at your windowsill. "But I heard today would reach the hottest temperature ever in Sinnoh history!"
"Really now?" You asked in a monotonous voice. How hot can it possibly be in the coldest region in the world.
"Get this, 72 degrees! Can you believe it?!" As someone who was born and raised in Hoenn, a region where temperatures can reach up to the high 90s during the late summer you weren't exactly impressed. "So change of plans! We're going to spend the day at Sandgem Beach so pack your things!"
You glanced at the digital clock on your bedside. It read 6:22AM. "Barry it's too early! Can't we go like at 10 or something?"
"No way! We have to go now otherwise it'll be full if we go any later!"
"When is Sandgem Beach ever full!? You can barely even call it a beach!" You turned away from your friend, wrapping yourself up in your blanket. You were not getting out of this bed.
"Come on (Y/N)!" Barry whined. "We haven't hung out in so long! I literally spent all night planning this week out and you're just going to turn me down?! If Lucas and Dawn were here they would've agreed in going!" You can hear the irritation in his voice but underneath it was a hint of dejection. Shortly after your journey with the trio came to an end things changed. Dawn moved to the Kalos region a year ago to continue her study on Pokemon and just a few months afterwards Lucas left to Unova for reasons unknown though you had a hunch that it had something to do with that officer Looker. Barry spend most of his days at Pastoria’s gym, training intensely with Crasher Wake. As for you your parents never supported your dreams of becoming a Pokemon Trainer and your battling skills were left to be desired so you dropped it to continue your studies and follow a more reasonable career.
Although you didn't look at him you can feel him gazing at you, presumably with a pout or with Lillipup eyes. You groaned in defeat. "Fine."
Barry barely let you finish your sentence as he responded, "Really? Awesome! Don't forget to bring your Pokemon along with you, alright? And don't show up late otherwise I'll fine you!" With that he jump out your window and let out a yelp. "Don't worry! I'm alright!"
You sighed, wondering how anyone could have so much energy so early in the morning as you practically dragged yourself out of bed to start the day.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
Sandgem Town was quiet, the majority of the residents still asleep or just starting their day. You haven’t been in Sandgem in quite a while yet walking down the somewhat familiar road invoked a nostalgic feeling. You paused, looking at the houses on the street till you spot the familiar lab down the road. Professor Rowan’s lab. It almost felt like yesterday when you took your first step through Route 201 alongside your friends Lucas and Barry (although the latter practically raced his way there) to get here with your first Pokemon, Riolu. You couldn't help but smile at the memory before going on your way to Sandgem Beach. And, as you predicted, it was empty saved for Barry.
He stood at the edge of the boardwalk, his back facing you as he perform some stretching exercise. His team was already out of their Pokeballs, enjoying themselves. Infernape was meditating, Roserade, Snorlax, and Staraptor were sunbathing, Floatzel was swimming, and Heracross was attempting to bury itself in the sand, seeking warmth. Taking out three Pokeballs from your belt you released your team: Lucario, Lopunny, and Vaporeon. Your Pokemon looked around their surroundings before glancing up at you in surprise. When was the last time you actually brought them somewhere that wasn't home or your school’s campus? “Go on you guys. Have fun!” With that said your Pokemon went off to do their own thing.
Lucario sat beside Inferape, joining it in meditation and Lopunny bounded excitedly over to its long time crush, Roserade, the Bouquet Pokemon vastly annoyed that its peace was disrupted as it escaped from its crushing grip. Lastly, Vaporeon decided to take a swim, dipping into the ocean and blending itself into its surroundings, disappearing from sight.
The commotion between Lopunny and Roserade caught Barry's attention as he looked over to notice you. "Too slow!" He yelled running over to you. Not even giving you a chance to say something he grabs your arm and drags you over to the boardwalk. Once he lets go he begins to take off his shirt.
"Ready for what?" You asked.
“Barry!” You never saw your friend shirtless before so you couldn't help but feel flustered. Though he didn’t seem to care as he carried on anyways. As you assumed, Barry had a lean figure, what you didn't expect however was the amount of freckles he had. Although Barry had freckles dusting his cheeks and nose they were barely noticeable compared to the ones on his back and shoulders which were far more prominent. Realizing you were staring longer then normal you quickly turned away, trying to hide the awkward blush.
Luckily, Barry didn't notice. "Ready?"
"To swim!"
You look down at the blue water before dipping a bare foot in. It was ice cold. "It's freezing!" You exclaimed.
"It's not that bad!"
"Thanks but I pass" you said, waving a hand dismissively.
Barry pouted but it was soon replaced with a mischievous smile. "Alright then, suit yourself." He said, surprising you. Barry wasn't one to easily let things go without trying to convince you first. He's up to something, you know it. You were about to ask but he had already left your side as he jump right into the water, splashing you head to toe causing a sharp gasp to escape your lips from the sudden shock of being doused in icy water. Barry pop back up to the surface with a triumphant smirk, his bright eyes gleaming with playfulness.
"You suck!" You yelled causing him to laugh as he dived back underwater. Soaked to the bone there really was no point in staying out of the water in hopes of drying off soon, not with this cold breeze that made it impossible to warm up. You remove your hoodie and shorts revealing your (color) swimsuit before setting them down on the boardwalk and slipping into the water. Since you were already cold the frigid water didn't get to you, feeling more welcoming then before.
You looked around for your rival, trying to spot the blonde in the murky water but only saw his Floatzel which was lazily floating around. "Barry?” Something suddenly grabbed onto your ankle causing you to scream in surprise and flailing to get away, kicking away whatever touched you.
Barry appeared right beside you, clutching his left cheek. "Ow! Seriously?! You just kicked my face!"
"Well you shouldn't have grabbed me like that!" You said. He only stick his tongue out at you before swimming over to the boardwalk, crossing his arms and resting his head atop of it. You watched him as he stared up at the blue sky with a content expression, droplets of water clinging on to his hair as it shined in the morning light. Seeing him like this gave you the same flustered feeling from before. You couldn't quite wrap your head around as to why though. You’ve known him since kindergarten. So why all of a sudden you felt awkward around him?
"What’s up?" You didn’t even realize that he had stopped gazing up at the sky in favor of looking at you.
“What do you mean?” You said, turning elsewhere though it was in vain since he already caught you this time around.
“You were staring at me just now. It was pretty weird.” You try to think of something to say, mainly to defend yourself but to your relief he changed the subject. “So how’s school?”
You shrugged. “It’s alright. Senior year isn’t difficult compared to the other years since we’re more focused on applying for college.”
“Do you know where you want to go?” You noticed his words were a bit quiet and reserved unlike his usual chipper and noisy self.
“Well I was hoping to go to University of Unova since it’s known for having the best (career) course” you explained. “Though my parents aren’t too keen on me going that far so I might just stick to Goldenrod University.”
“I know that but...” He trailed off for a moment, thinking of what to say. “Can’t you just go to Canalave College instead?”
“Goldenrod!?” Barry’s sudden sharp tone made you flinch. “Why so far?” He was looking at you with a hurt expression that made you feel guilty despite the fact you didn’t do anything wrong. At least, you felt like you did nothing wrong.
“Well compared to Unova which is practically halfway across the world. Johto is just south of Sinnoh.”
“Barry, Canalave College doesn’t even have programs on what I’m going for.”
“Ugh, this is why I’ve always hated school” Barry grumbled, letting go of the boardwalk just to sink further into the water leaving just his eyes visible to you, glaring down at nothing in particular. He almost resembled that of a pouting child.
You didn’t understand why he was so upset about your plans or why he was trying to make you change your college decisions. Unless… “You don’t want me to leave?”
Barry barely let you finish your sentence as he quickly got up. “It’s not that!”
“Then what’s the problem?” You pressured.
At this point Barry wasn’t even looking at you, opting to just randomly glance around the area. “There is no problem! It’s just...” With a sigh he finally looked at you. Honey colored eyes stared at your (e/c) ones, his cheeks gaining a bright shade of pink. “I thought even though Lucas and Dawn left at least I still have you around.”
You couldn’t help but frown. You didn’t realize just how attached Barry was to you and the others until now. Naturally you felt bad but you certainly couldn’t change your plans for him either as much as it hurts you to see him like this. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think you would be this upset about it but it’s just how it is. Eventually we have to go our own way to live our lives. Right now you’re training with Crasher Wake to become one of the best Pokemon Trainer ever. At some point you’re going to leave Sinnoh to follow that dream, right?” He remained silent but nodded in response. “Just because we’re not going to be together like old times doesn’t mean we’re no longer friends. You’ll always be my best friend no matter what.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I guess I was being over dramatic.” You couldn’t help but smile when you saw his expression brighten. That was until he started giggling leaving you perplexed.
“Huh? What’s so funny?” You asked
“Sorry I just found the whole ‘you’ll always be my best friend’ bit kind of cheesy.”
“I was trying to cheer you up you douche!” You snapped unable to control your blush of embarrassment as Barry continued laughing. Seeking petty revenge you bought your fingers to your lips and let out a sharp whistle. Without warning your Vaporeon splashed out between you both before spouting water right in his face. He sputtered in surprise as he attempted to shield himself.
“So that’s how it’s going to be huh?” He challenged before calling for his Floatzel who immediately appeared by his side. Already getting the cue of what was going on the Pokemon retaliated by spraying sea water over you by spinning its propeller-like tails. Oh, it’s on now. Barry however was already a step ahead of you as he mounted onto his Pokemon’s back. “Good luck trying to catch me Slowpoke!” He taunted with a smirk before promptly swimming away from you. You knew Vaporeon was nowhere near as fast as Floatzel but you sure as hell weren’t going to let him get away so easily. You got on Vaporeon’s back and began swimming after the two, unable to contain the childlike excitement and determination you were getting from the chase.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
For the first time since you moved to the chilly region you truly felt the warmth of summer in Sinnoh. You and Barry sat on a bench right outside Sandgem Beach, not bothering to change out of your swimsuits as you ate popsicles and watch the afternoon go by. Residents glance at you both with odd looks since beachgoers rarely, if ever, visit their town but neither of you mind at all. After having that impromptu water fight you both decided to have a Pokemon battle, for old time sake. Of course you lost but you didn’t mind. Its been so long since you felt the fun and adrenaline that battles gave you that you completely forgot why you enjoyed them so much in the first place.
“Hey (Y/N)?” You looked at Barry who took a small bite from his orange creamsicle. “I know I said it was cheesy but is it true? I’ll always be your best friend no matter what?”
“Of course. I wouldn’t lie to you about that.” You had just finished your (flavor) popsicle, dumping the stick in the trash can beside you. He remained silent and although he said he was fine you notice still a hint of sadness in his expression as he stared off in the distance. Placing a hand on his shoulder you diverted his attention to you as you beamed at him. “It’s a promise.”
There was a sudden shimmer in his eyes and you wonder if he was tearing up when he quickly rub at them. “It better be otherwise I’ll fine you ten million PokeDollars if you replace me!” You couldn’t help but giggle, Barry joining in.
“So what’s the plan tomorrow?” You asked.
“Well I was thinking the Great Marsh maybe. If you’re fine with that.”
You nodded. “I bet I can catch more Pokemon then you.” You smirked when his smile faded into an annoyed expression.
“As if! I’m totally going to kick your ass!” He said swatting away your hand when you attempted to ruffle his hair just to irk him.
Needless to say, you were pretty glad he woke you up this morning.
64 notes · View notes
alfredosauce50 · 3 years ago
Text
What makes me human [Cyberpunk! America x reader] 16
Wordcount: 4, 869 Rating: M for strong language, moderate sexual references, violence, and gore The reader is referred to as she/her. "God knows. Maybe you have a greater purpose to serve. Why else did he make you?" Chapter synopsis: And you never considered yourself trigger-happy. But the shots have been fired. They're dead before you can interrogate them. Allen is eager to convince you it was the right thing to do, but even he can't deny the horrors that will follow. The war rages on. Alfred stays ignorant for the meantime, and you revel in his bliss of it. You share one last peaceful night with him before the fearful unknown.
16 - Nothing breaks like a heart
Tumblr media
The reader is referred to as she/her.
An ear-splitting bang echoed in the pool room. Blood and small chunks of flesh landed on the tiled floor in a splat. Tearing his hand away with a shaky gasp, he held the wrist and hunched over to writhe in agony. "Ergh... Fuck!" He spluttered, feeling a violent tremble seize his wounded hand. "Fuck, fuck, fuck..."
He lifted his head to glare at you with the utmost betrayal. "What the hell did you do that for?!"
A sizely hole formed in his palm. The exposed flesh was still oozing out blood like a full sponge, dripping onto the ground in generous puddles. A whole section of his bone was missing. And you did it. You shot Alfred. You paled in horror for a few moments, but as he panted before you with tears streaming down his red and enflamed face, it became apparent that your guilt was unfounded.
"What I did that for? You aren't Alfred!" You exasperated, raising the gun shakily to point it between his fearful eyes. "You're a clone!"
A sour flavor was left in your mouth as you spat out the word. His origins were no mystery.
Nobody else could have been responsible or capable of such a heinous crime. To grow an abomination from whatever DNA was left in their lab. You only imagined them to be created for one purpose, and one purpose only. To torment, kill, and replace Alfred. As the thoughts raced through your head, you tightened your finger around the trigger—"Wait, wait! Don't shoot!" He begged, throwing his arms up.
"I know you're freaking out right now, but I have no idea what's going on either!"
Gritting your teeth at his excuse, you were determined to not let it get to you. But it was easier said than done. "Shut up! Don't think for a second you can fool me!" Despite the cutting conviction of your voice, you took on a terrified expression at the thought of shooting him. "I'm gonna do it. You're nothing but a freak of nature! And you'll never... Never..."
As you trailed off, you realized you indeed couldn't pull the trigger.
Not when the barrel was aimed at a face that looked just like Alfred's.
It was contorted with so much fear and despair, pleading silently for you to not hurt him. The fact that he was a spitting image of him made it even harder. How he moved, talked, acted—seeing it chipped away your resolve, leaving you all but paralyzed. The gun was left juddering furiously in your hands in light clacks, holding him hostage at the moment before death.
"Please. Please don't do it." He whispered, bringing his hands down to shield himself. "You gotta help me, (F/N). I don't know how, but I woke up in this body. That's... That's all that happened."
How painfully familiar it sounded.
I woke up in this body.
The similarities were so uncanny, it was cruel. Giving your head a quick shake, your lips quivered as you uttered this.
"You're lying. You're not real."
Creases formed between his brows. "I'm not lying! And I am real! I'll prove it to you, I swear! We went through so much shit together, like uh—" He pointed at you and laughed nervously as he sifted through the scanty archives of his memories. "—I kidnapped you. Ha! See? I know something! That's how we met! And you hated my guts at first."
You swallowed thickly as uncertainty slowly overwhelmed you. If he could remember that, he had to be real, right? No. You had to fend off the feeling. "That's not good enough!" Your finger stayed on the trigger, and the barrel, on him.
He tensed up as panic caught him in a chokehold. "Okay, okay! Well, er..." His heart was pounding harder and harder with every second he failed to say something. "... Oh! Remember the time I nearly got murdered by a cult leader? He had a whole kabuki mask get-up and everything—just like, like Professor Callaghan from Big Hero 6. You know that movie right?"
You sucked in a sharp breath. The title didn't ring any bells, but what he said had you second-guessing yourself. Was he not lying after all? Lowering the gun at that, your motion was slowed by slight hesitance. "... How... How do you know those things?" You asked faintly. "What are you?"
Before he could formulate an answer, footsteps thudded down the hall. Your thoughts came to a complete standstill.
Then, you heard a voice.
"(F/N)!" They shouted. Was it Allen? Your heart sank when you realized you couldn’t tell—it sounded too similar to Alfred. Or were you just imagining things? The sheer amount of panic was too incapacitating that you couldn't think.
So you did the unthinkable.
Raising the gun once more, you fired a shot into his abdomen.
The second you let the bullet fly, you regretted it.
Both your ears rang as the next few moments occurred in silence. And they would unfold in painstakingly slow motion. Dropping the gun to the ground in a soundless clatter, you watched him stumble back a few steps with his eyes popping out of his skull. Blood was spreading around the flaps of his kimono from a new hole in his chest. But the gore couldn't compare to his look of betrayal.
Of a heartbreak so deep, it destroyed you.
"Oh my God..." You raised both hands to your mouth. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he collapsed on the ground in a bloody heap. "I just—I just killed—" Tears streamed relentlessly down to your chin as you stood frozen.
"(F/N)! I heard gunshots. What the fuck happened?!" Allen appeared in the doorway. His loud voice derailed your train of thoughts, forcing you to turn to the man. When you did, your heart clenched at the realization you made a mistake. It wasn't him. Alfred was never down the hall, and you panicked.
He never even had a chance to explain himself.
When Allen caught sight of the corpse by your feet, he dug his hands through his hair. Terror ran deep in his expression as he processed what he was seeing. "Shit, (F/N)." His nose scrunched up in shock. Never did he imagine the day would come where you would take someone's life. At least, not so soon.
But it arrived as an unwelcome surprise, unexpected and uninvited. "Did you kill that guy?"
You nodded profusely as a sob racked your body.
He scrambled over and shielded you from the grotesque scene. "Hey, hey, hey! Don’t feel bad! I’ve killed loads of people too, so welcome to the club!" The man rambled frantically, rubbing away your tears with his fingers. But who was he to tell you these things when he felt his own tears come?
"I’m sure he deserved it, and you were just protecting yourself, so don’t worry!" Allen forced a wide, manic smile.
His efforts to console you were in vain as you cried even harder. Pulling you into his chest, he rested his chin on your head that trembled to your coughs. "I'm so sorry..." Allen screwed his eyes shut and squeezed you tighter. "... I’m sorry I left you by yourself. This is my fault, not yours. It's my fault."
The string of apologies he spewed out was on your behalf, but he meant them with every fiber of his being. He had failed to protect the single most valuable thing to him.
And the blatant lie he forced you to accept was the last resort to preserve it. But it was time that stopped. "No, I killed him." You asserted shakily. He had nothing to do with this, and his eagerness to shoulder the blame only rubbed more salt into the wound. If you let him have his way, you would never live it down.
Without removing yourself from the hug, you pointed at the motionless body with your head turned away. "Look at him. I could never lie."
Allen lingered his gaze on you before obliging, albeit reluctantly. Nearing the corpse cautiously, he kicked its chest to roll it over. It revealed the dead man’s face in all its glory. Alfred’s face.
"..."
What the fuck.
When he thought he couldn’t be any more disgusted by the tyranny of technology, he was proved wrong yet again. This was clearly your father’s doing. And it was a declaration of war. But perhaps, it was just the continuation of the one that never ended.
Arthur was completely shit-faced downstairs. Slamming his beer mug down on the counter after he downed the whole thing, he gasped.
"Bwah! That hits the spot." His cheeks and ears were redder than a tomato, a stark contrast to his companion who was stone-cold sober.
Alfred raised a brow. "Sure looks like it. Dude, you gotta lay off the booze. You’re gonna regret it first thing tomorrow." Once he sighed that out, he rested his cheek on his hand. Then, he glowered at the hallway where you and Allen disappeared to.
"How long does it take to piss? They’ve been gone for ages. Twenty minutes? Thirty minutes? I don’t fucking know," The mechanic let out a low chuckle and slapped him on the back. The force made his torso bounce, much to his annoyance. "What’s your deal?"
The other hummed mischievously. "I was just thinking about what you said." Arthur squinted almost suggestively, causing Alfred to do the same, but only out of being appalled. "Maybe... Maybe they aren’t pissing. Since they’re gone for so long at the bathrooms at that—so maybe, urgh... They’re doing the nasty together." The Brit practically howled with laughter, having figured he was probably right.
It was a plausible assumption. As he humored the suggestion Alfred heated up more severely than his intoxicated friend. You having sex with Allen? His chest whirred and nostrils flared. He'd never been this enraged before, but behind the mask of anger was a deep hurt and toxic kind of jealousy.
"Shut up! You’re drunk and slurring your words. You have no idea what you’re talking about."
Arthur snorted. "Sorry to break it to you, brother. But the only time I’m this honest is when I’m drunk, so."
Alfred’s eyes went round. Without a moment’s hesitation, he shot out of his stool and made a beeline to the hall. Before he could make it far, he bumped right into the very subjects of his conversation. Much to his relief, they were in no state that indicated they did anything sexual by nature; you were in his arms and fast asleep. Not that he was happy about it. "Woah. She's out like a light."
"Yeah, so keep your voice down." The other grumbled, bouncing you lightly. "I think it's about time we head home. How drunk is he?"
The blonde blinked. He wasn't expecting him to catch on so quickly. "Off his ass. He's red as."
Allen clicked his tongue and brushed past him. "Called it." Alfred would have dismissed it as something he always did. But since he was carrying you, it made him feel like an extra. So when the man walked off, he followed with a scowl. "Can you get a cab? I'm gonna sit in the corner for a bit."
And sit in the corner he did, laying your body across his lap so you could rest. Alfred narrowed his eyes into a dark glare, lingering on the sight as the club music pounded away in his ears. And he told him to keep his voice down? "Yeah, I'll call you a damn cab."
You pretended to be asleep the whole ride back to Arthur's. It was easy with Allen's shoulder at a perfect height for your face to bury in. For half an hour, you were stuck in that position. There, you listened to the symphony of a trip home from the club: the automated voice of the taxi A.I and the drunken warbles of an intoxicated friend. Without seeing it, you could feel Alfred watching you for the whole duration of the ordeal.
Fortunately, you could escape any interaction with him as Allen carried you to the bathroom upon arriving.
"Oi, where are you taking her?"
The redhead kicked the door open. "What does it look like?"
"Shouldn't you wake her up, at least?"
"Yeah, yeah. Quit breathing down my neck, already."
"Dude—"
The door locked. Setting you down on your feet, you held onto his arms to regain your balance. Once you did, you glanced up at him with the utmost panic. "I can't face him." Digging two hands through your hair, you let out a shaky gasp—"Oh my god, I don't know what to do! I shot him, Allen. I fucking shot him! What's he gonna think of me when he finds out?"
He sighed and gripped your shoulders firmly. With his brows furrowed in a stern expression, he corrected you. "You didn't shoot him. You shot another version of him." Allen couldn't stress that enough. But there were many things he needed to shed a light on in this emergency bathroom meeting. "And it was kinda my fault that happened. If I was there, I woulda' shot him for you."
"That's not the point, here! And it's never gonna be your fault. It's mine, and mine alone. End of story." You swiped a hand across his face for emphasis. While he groaned in dismay, a brief pause followed as you regained your breath.
At least an hour had passed, but you still couldn't wrap your head around it.
"I can't believe I did that. I don't even know how I could! I panicked. I thought Alfred was coming down the hall, but—"
"—but it was me. Doll-" Allen exasperated, dragging out the pet name. "-you can't blame yourself for what you did. Shit happens. And who says what you did was wrong, huh? You probably just saved us all from a bloodbath. And you know that!" Rocking you gently back and forth to shake some sense into you, he leaned in to peer into your wide eyes staring into space.
"That's why you shot him. You did the right thing."
As he blurted that out, the memory replayed in your head again and again like a broken record. Intrusive thoughts were a bitch. And there was one particular detail of the event that you would never forget. "Was it the right thing to do, though?" You murmured, lowering your doubtful gaze to the tiled floor. The betrayal in his eyes was so genuine, you came to regret everything you've done.
"What if he was real like he said?"
You were asking some hard-hitting questions, that was for sure. Everything else was shrouded in a fog of uncertainty.
"Well, it wouldn't matter if he was real. Cuz' he's dead."
Allen's expression morphed into a dark glower.
"But if he was still alive, there'd be two of him, and not for long. They'd kill each other, for sure. I mean, if I found out there was a second-rate version of me farting around out there, I'd kill that poser for sport. Hunt him down like game." Lifting up your chin so you'd look at him, he flashed a grin.
"So don't feel bad. You killed him and saved Alfred the trouble."
Softening your gaze at that, you pulled him into another hug. Allen was always amazing at comforting you in the direst of situations.
"... Maybe you're right."
He chuckled and patted your back. "I'm always right."
But there was still one concern he could never address.
If your father made a clone of Alfred, a real and legitimate copy, there was no saying he could make another. Hell, you even expected him to. He could keep churning him out so long as he had his DNA. The only way to end this threat was quick to cross your mind, but you didn't want to think about it.
You would have to kill your father.
Allen figured. But today suffered enough bloodshed.
Before he left the bathroom for you to use, he held onto your cheek.
Flickering his striking scarlet eyes over your troubled expression, he caught you in a quiet gaze. You could easily translate the untold fondness he watched you with. We can still run away together.
He pulled away slowly, reluctantly. Then, the door closed behind him, leaving you alone with your thoughts. It never crossed your mind the first time he brought it up earlier tonight, but you finally understood what he really meant by running away. Allen wanted to share his life with you. Heat flurried in your chest as you considered the idea.
Tears threatened to return once you realized how much you wanted to do it, just not with him. The desire was there, but it happened to be stronger for someone else.
Alfred had been waiting outside with his back against the wall, arms crossed with a frown. It only deepened when Allen walked out.
"What're you lookin' at?" The redhead mumbled.
"... Nothing. Just wondering why you two spend so much time in the bathroom together." Alfred pointed out, glancing down at the cigarette between his fingers. He would have been jumping for joy if it weren't for wanting to look serious. "What were you doing with her in the penthouse?"
The other felt a spell of irritation hit him. It was always jealousy with this one, wasn't it? But he couldn't be a hypocrite. "None a'ya business, bub." He hummed, slotting the cancer stick in between his teeth. A sly smirk widened his lips as he saw the blonde tense up. "You saw how tired she was. So don't even think about it."
Don't even think about it, he'd said. How come everything coming out of his mouth sounded like a euphemism for sex? Don't keep her up with stupid conversations would've sounded better. Alfred huffed and stormed back to the guest room. Or was it just his mind that was in the gutter? He blamed Arthur for even bringing it up.
Hanging his clothes on a chair, he curled up under the covers. His chest was whirring again, and the discomfort was akin to something you've gone through before. Separation anxiety. When you did show up ten minutes later, he rolled over to the door to watch your form. Hearing the fabric shuffle in your direction made your heart skip in panic.
He was awake.
"Arthur's puking his guts out, so if you hear coughing, it's him."
Hopefully, some light-hearted banter could keep you from acting up. But that was easier said than done.
The blanket lifted briefly so you could get under it. Once you got comfortable, he didn't hesitate to pull you in by the waist to spoon you. Ever since he saw you sleep in the club, and on Allen no less, he'd been dying to do this. "... I tried telling him." He murmured into your ear. "But I've slept through worse. You flop and roll a lot."
The feeling of his breath on your neck and the sound of his husky voice made your heart ache. Every night was spent like this, warm and snug in his arms, but tonight was different. Inside, you were still agonizing over what you had done to him, even if it wasn't exactly him. So to feel his chest rise against your back, then his legs rub against yours, you just couldn't take it—it was all too much.
Rolling over to him, you caught his neck in your arms and pulled it down for a tight squeeze. What you uttered next captured your deepest and most inexplicable desire. To truly be alone with him.
"I can't take it here anymore." You muttered furiously, hugging him around his neck to start crushing him.
He let out a shaky breath at the sudden pressure.
"Hey, hey, calm down. What's wrong?"
"I can't calm down. I need to talk to you. Alone." Sitting up at that, you pulled him along. It came especially easy as he stood up, eager to understand your spontaneity. "And in someplace that's not here. There's just... Too many people. Four is too many."
Alfred lit up, but his growing smile did his emotions no justice. He was ecstatic. Things were always simpler when it was just the two of you. Maybe you were finally getting sick of these cramped living conditions, the scrutiny. At least, he knew he was. So it was almost as if you read his mind. "Okaay. Are we going on a midnight adventure?" He piped.
But then again, you always seemed to be walking on the same wavelength as him.
He followed you around the room like a puppy as you collected some things—your jacket, then Alfred's phone to shoot Allen a text. We're off to the nearest no-tell motel to talk. We'll be back in the morning. Setting the device onto the desk, you threw him his belongings. His gun and trusty coil of tools. Catching them wordlessly, he shot you a quizzical look. "Well, aren't you mysterious? Where are we going?"
Little did he know, your decision to leave the house for the night had only so much to do with random selfish impulses. From the outside, it looked exactly like that. Up and going without a care in the world, without care for Allen, and becoming unreachable for the next several hours. But after what happened, you just needed time to recalibrate.
"Where we always used to go." You threw your jacket on. Dragging him out into the hall, he caught a brief glimpse of Arthur passed out over the toilet before he found himself in the garage.
Handing him his key, you opened the car door next to the driver's seat. "We have to be quick before Allen tries to stop us."
The said man was sitting on the roof when he heard the rumbling of the garage door. Immediately after the sound stopped, a car sped out of it with an aggressive vroom and disappeared into the night. Narrowing his eyes at the rear window, he stood up and tossed his cigarette over the edge. Where the hell were you going this late at night? And with Alfred, no less?
He could feel hot jealousy prick him all over again. But it was warped with a harrowing kind of sadness. No matter what he did or what he said, he couldn't seem to get in between you two. Allen sat back down and lit up another cigarette. Giving that a few puffs, he surrounded his head in a cloud of grey smoke. Maybe he did know you for too long.
For eight years, he'd been a brotherly figure in your life. Now, he was afraid that was all he was ever going to be.
~~~
Parking the car in the courtyard after the most thrilling joyride, you pulled Alfred into the reception to book a room. Given his inhumane strength, your efforts to drag him down the hall were to no avail. Peering down at you with a warm smile, his face contorted with an amused look as you tugged at his arm as hard as you could. "Easy there, tiger. This is a motel, not a five-star hotel."
Between two walls littered with cracks was a dimly lit interior. Everything smelt like vomit, piss, and alcohol to boot, and yet, you were bounding beside him in excitement. "I know! But doesn't this feel nostalgic? We lived in these places for ages." You exasperated, scanning a keycard to unlock the door.
Alfred didn't think he was a sentimental person, but hearing you reminisce the past so fondly was enough to change his smile into a bittersweet one. "I guess." He couldn’t remember everything like you, but for now, he could pretend he did. "Motels are economic and discrete, so where was a better place to go?"
Once you both got inside, he felt your hand let go of his. For a moment, he felt just the smallest dash of loneliness—it was the emptiness of not feeling you somewhere where you should have been. Fortunately, it faded when you gleamed at him while you explored the room with child-like curiosity.
"I think I did a pretty good job at converting you." Alfred mused.
You flopped onto the bed to lie on your back. "Converting me to what?"
The mattress dipped to your right, so you rolled over to face him. "To a commoner. Or maybe something lower than that." He grinned devilishly. And for that comment, he would earn a strong shove on his chest. Despite nearly falling off the edge, he merely scooted back in. "I've never seen someone this happy staying in a dump like this."
"Don't give yourself too much credit. I just miss it." Pausing briefly at that, a small smile spread to your lips when you saw his, wide and as endearing as ever. If there was one thing you wanted to see before you died, it was this. Alfred's warm smile. As you lingered on the thought, you realized you were completely smitten with him.
But most importantly, at peace.
This was exactly why you even dragged him here in the first place. For some quality alone time, backtracking, and a good, long talk without interruptions. "I'd know all about dumps." You murmured, reaching out to play with a lock of his sandy blonde hair. "Zao and I tend to find our best friends in them."
He chuckled airily. "Is this me?"
"... Well, sure. But I was talking about Allen."
Things got dark pretty fast.
You both laughed it off. He didn't have great memories of motels, but laying here with you reminded him of what you said about them. A lot of good things happened in these tiny rooms, apparently. And they were what you two talked about until three AM in the morning, standing together out on the balcony. From here, the heart of the city could be seen, from the aerial roads of spinners in the distance to the endless hills of skyscrapers and blinking lights.
"I was thinking," Alfred murmured quietly, turning his head to you. The right side of his face reflected the glow of the city. But it couldn't quite compare to the hope that lit up his eyes, as subtle as it was. "Is everything finally over?"
You turned to him, gaze softened. For just tonight, you would let him bask in his ignorance. And yourself, in his hold. "Not yet." You whispered. The feeling of his hand on your waist was a feeling you could get used to. Reaching out to his other one on the railing, you guided it to your side so he could hold you properly.
Alfred squeezed you eagerly, pressing closer to your body.
Taking his face into your hands, you gave him one last gesture of untold affection. It was a culmination of raw emotion free from your own better judgment. A means to communicate without talking.
You pressed your forehead against his and closed your eyes.
At that very space in time, a singular thought occurred to both of you—I wish this moment would last forever.
"But we'll make it... Just like we always do."
|
What would you do if I killed you?
Nothing, because I'd be dead.
What if you survived? Or left behind a soul?
Then I'll come back and find you.
|
The club was still pounding away, much like the headache in his skull. Sucking in a sharp breath, he suffered the worst wake-up call in his short life—he was still bleeding, and in terrible pain. He shakily felt around his wound while hyperventilating on the ground. How he hadn't kicked the bucket yet was beyond him.
"Get your ass up already. I know you're not dead." A man growled in disdain, giving the body on the ground a light kick.
"Gh—!" He let out a pained gasp and clung onto the ground for dear life. It had been years since he felt this alive—ironically, it was when he was inches away from death.
His perpetrator had their dark eyes fixated on him like a stain on the floor. Their pupils were as red as the blood his victim bathed in. But they always had a strong stomach for gore. "What am I gonna say when the owner finds out I'm the reason you even got in here? You're bleeding into the pool." They murmured, raising his leg to keep tormenting the other like a new hobby.
With a few more kicks, the body rolled onto its back.
"Ugh... Fuck... How am I not dead?" He coughed in agony.
The other shrugged, flicking their ponytail over their shoulder. "God knows. Maybe you have a greater purpose to serve." As cryptic as that sounded, it was nothing but the truth. He had more to his life than dying in a nightclub. Dying could be a part of it, but this couldn't be the location to do it, nor could it be by your hand—the closest kin to his creator.
"Why else did he make you?"
14 notes · View notes
ilovel0ki · 4 years ago
Text
Burning Light
loki x oc
warnings: blood, war, almost deaths
Writing this has been super enjoyable for me. It's based off of Safe & Sound by Taylor Swift and The Central Wars. I really like the song and it gave me a jolt of inspiration.
Some angst and fluff, with a happy ending
Word count: 3.5k
I'm looking forward to have some of you read it. I know it may not reach lots of people but I do hope it brightens up someone's day :)
Unmistakeable clashing and clanging of swords echoed through the once-peaceful city - which lay in eerie unrest. Warriors strapped in bloodstained armour, which was once a lustrous luminescent gold, rushed around with panic-stricken faces, bringing their injured colleages with them. Their faces unrecognisable - smeared with tainted, crimson blood. Eyes once filled with joy and life had become dull with exhaustion. Even the children could tell something had gone quite wrong as they were being scrambled to safety. How couldn’t they, when only hours before they had been blithely engaging in play. Now they were being dragged into the promised safety of their homes. Still, on this side of town, the situation was slightly better.
Nevertheless, the fact was painfully clear; Asgard was at war.
A war that had only just begun. A war that would wreak just as much havoc as any other, unless handled conscientiously. Currently, that wasn’t going so well. The opposing kingdom hadn’t spoken of a reason to wage this sanguinary battle. They just barged in guns-a-blazing. One could only hope it would be over soon.
In the opposite side of town, the infamous Asgardian army, known for its expertise and experience, was busy and bustling. Healers were tending to those caught in the crossfire while others were getting ready to join it. The warriors were determined; they were trained meticulously for situations like these.
One such warrior was buckling up her hefty armor on her body, following that by trying to tie back her flowing vermillion-red hair. Unsuccessful, she stood straight. Tall, dignified and regal; she was a sophisticated beauty. And she knew it.
In need of help, the girl surveyed her surroundings. Brilliant blue eyes darted to and fro to gauge someone who could possibly help. Then, gleefully, she spotted a familiar face walk by. A very familiar face indeed.
With a hastily thought out plan-of-attack, Ilaire sauntered towards the aformentioned person. Wrapping her arms around him, she sultrily whispered in his ear, “Hey, Loki. Could you help me with my tiresome hair”.
Though Ilaire couldn’t see it, a slow smirk settled upon the trickster’s face. Loki turned on his heel and susurrated, “Darling, you need not put on that act. I would help you if you simply asked, after all have we not been friends since adolescence?”.
Ilaire flippantly nodded in answer as a chesire cat grin took over her face at having succeeded in her task. She flipped around to give Loki better access to her hair. Without complaint, Loki took charge of her fiery silken hair and began to masterfully twist her hair into an elegant yet practical fashion, as if he had done it all his life. In a sort of way, he had. With a raised hand, Ilaire tried - in vain - to pass a ribbon to Loki to tie her hair back.
“Don’t bother, I have already used my seidr to place a ribbon in your hair”, Loki acknowledged, amused. “It’s emerald green, isn’t it?”,exasperated, the warrior questioned with her hand on the bridge of her nose.
Loki chuckled in response.
“Well, thank you anyway”, she said as she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek.
For a second, Loki’s mask of cold indifference slipped and gave way to something softer, akin to endearment. But it came back up just as Thor’s voice boomed across the army quarters.
“WARRIORS! The next waves must get ready to leave. Wave 32 and 33 get into position in 10 minutes, with Leaders Prince Loki and Lady Ilaire on the frontlines!”.
Centuries ago, Loki and Ilaire had trained together diligently and achieved higher ranks in the army hierarchy together. Both had now been promoted to a Leader position, the second highest position, preceded only by the Chief.
Thor’s information brought a surge of sobriety to the bantering friends as they realised what they were about to go into. They looked to each other, their eyes met and both nodded at the same time with locked jaws and unyielding glares. Synchronised, they turned to their corresponding waves and bellowed, “GET INTO POSITION WARRIORS!”.
A clangour resonated as the warriors began to put the remaining pieces of armour on. Ilaire’s usually welcoming eyes grew dark. Loki’s gaze grew steely. With a grave expression, Thor strode to their area. Without missing a beat, he trapped both Ilaire and Loki in an unwavering hug. It portrayed all of his emotions: distress; fear and concern. As he continued to not let them go, Loki’s choked voice broke out, “Brother, you must let us go”. Reluctantly, Thor pulled back and Ilaire could’ve sworn that his eyes were wetter than before. “Brother. Sister. Be careful. And most of all come back alive,” Thor spoke in a brittle voice.
Somewhere along the line, Ilaire had become an honorary Odinson family member. To Thor she was a sister and to Loki, she hoped she was something more. Still, a new wave of emotion passed over Ilaire as she heard Thor call her his sister. She fought valiantly to not be overcome with tearful sobs.
“Do not worry, Chief,” she called him in unbridled affection “We will try our best”, she replied in a hoarse manner. “Don’t miss us too much,” Loki too replied, with a rare smile and a suave salute.
The red-haired warrior clashed her sword on her shield to catch the attention of her assigned wave. “Alright, team! We’ve trained together for 150 years. We will continue to train far longer than that! We must! So go out and show those brutely creatures WHO’S BOSS!”, Ilaire’s battlecry washed over her warriors.
As the gates opened and perfectly formed formations walked out, merciless stony gazes could be seen all around. Loki and Ilaire stood at the frontlines, the wind amplifying their battle-hardened gazes. They both walked on the bloodsoaked ground, unfaltering, with a mission. As they got closer to the first of the aliens, Ilaire slashed at one, sending it accross the battleground. Beneath her feet, alien remains squelched and the air zinged with bloodshed.
The aliens were a sickly yellow with a strange slimy goo coating them. They were of a medium stature. Not too big but not too small. Ilaire had never seen such creatures.
Loki snarkily thought ‘They’re about Thor’s size. Doesn’t seem like this will be too hard’.
All around the two leaders, fights were breaking out and more yellow creatures were going down with them. Soldiers were slashing and punching with unmatched gusto. A pile of miserable dead opponents was starting to build up. Then something strange happened.
Something no one would’ve expected.
Something that shocked everyone.
Something that made perfect sense considering the earlier bloodshed.
The creatures that had been piled on top of each other started to melt and then meld together. It was a ghastly view. Bones shifting and rotting skin stretching. The creatures had melded together to become one mega-creature. A mega-creature larger than the small aliens before. Larger than Thor.
This truth dawned on the fighting forces and panic started brimming. Nothing like this had ever been faced before. It was entirely unprecedented. The Asgardian army certainly wasn’t trained for this. And judging by the drained, feeble warriors taken back to the healers, the other waves hadn’t realised this either. Alarm bells started ringing in Loki and Ilaire’s minds.
Loki’s mind started racing while simultaneously fighting off more of the alien soldiers.
Ilaire was frantically trying to think of a solution.
All thoughts seemed to evade them. The realm’s greatest minds had gone suddenly blank.
Panic was bubbling and almost tangible in the air.
One of the warriors, thankfully, came to the rescue, saving the situation like it was a damsel in distress. “SEPARATE THEM ONCE YOU KILL THEM, THAT WAY THEY CAN’T MOLD TOGETHER!”.
Ilaire let out a much-needed sigh of relief, yet she knew the real battle still remained. With a new plan, the waves started fighting with renewed vigour. After each kill, the creature was picked up and thrown on an empty space. Swords pierced and clanged, blood spattered and the beginnings of victory were starting to be seen. It was so close yet so far. Right within a hand’s reach, yet victory had not yet been snatched.
As Ilaire swerved to fight off another mega-creature, one approached from behind. WIth her eyes on the creature she was fighting, Ilaire did not notice the second creature. Loki’s mouth started to open in warning as he watched in fright. Unfortunately, his warning was a few seconds too slow. The creature grabbed a fallen sword and gashed at the sliver of skin between Ilaire’s chest and back armour with a mighty roar. Then a few things happened in succession.
A breathy gasp left Ilaire’s mouth as her hands grasped at her side, trying to gauge the situation. Her sword had unceremoniously dropped to the floor and lay lackadaisical. Her hands came away covered in her own blood, as more started to seep out. Crimson. Her breaths became raspy as she fell to her knees, head bowed. Several screams could be heard. Two of those were Loki and Thor.
Loki elbowed and slashed his way with an unmatched rage to reach his best friend. His mind was racing with denial, 'It could not end like this. It would not end like this.’
“Get out of the WAY!” he barked with barely held back anger.
Near the army quarters, Thor was making his way out to the battlefield. He would not sit by idly as his family was attacked. It was his turn.
As Thor reached his brother, he saw him kneeling beside Ilaire, undoing her armor and ripping a shred of his tunic to wrap it around her bleeding torso. “Take her to the healers, I will take care of this now,” Thor uttered quietly, yet if one looked closely, the simmering anger under his words was visible.
Then he yelled and charged towards his sorry opponents.
This left Loki. He looped his arms under her knees and shoulders and picked up Ilaire, and began to carry her towards the army quarters. “Love, look at me,” he spoke softly with a tender gaze.
It was getting harder for Ilaire to see by the minute as more blood was lost and her vision was spotting. “I can’t… I can’t,” Ilaire answered. A weak whimper escaped her lips.
“Yes, you can! Just focus on me”
Loki was starting to jog now, in desperation.
Commandingly, a shrill sound reverberated throughout the air. “LOKI ODINSON. WE ARE HERE TO COLLECT YOU. COME WITH US OR HAVE YOUR REALM FACE THE DISASTROUS CONSEQUENCES”.
Everything was going wrong. How could it have gone so wrong? Too much blood spilt and too many lives being lost by the minute.
Ilaire didn’t know what to do with this new command. Loki continued walking with an unreadable look on his face.
Ilaire struggled to keep her eyes open, but she got through until they had reached the healers.
A healer began to assess her; poking and prodding at the wound. Loki’s deperate voice rose, “Do something! Help her!”.
“The salve may take too long to brew. It could be too late for her,” the healer replied with an apologetic gaze.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN! HELP HER! I AM THE PRINCE OF ASGARD AND SHE, A LADY OF THE COURT! THERE MUST BE SOMETHING YOU CAN DO!” Loki hissed.
“Prince Loki, we will try our best but there’s no guarantee”.
Loki growled and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. He was mad. He had injured himself too much to be able to use his magic. If only he fought more efficiently, if only he did more - maybe he could have healed her. If only.
After a grueling half hour, the healer gave the confirmation.
A half hour of desperate waiting for the news.
A half hour that seemed miles longer than it was.
Ilaire would make it.
'She's gonna make it'
Loki let out the breath he had been holding and slumped in a chair with relief. He had refused to let her out of his sight. A weary smile took shape on his face and he let out a breathless laugh of joy.
“Prince Loki, take her to the royal chambers and allow her to sleep. Until now she has had to stay awake until her healing was confirmed, in case of her becoming comatose,” the healer instructed Loki.
He walked to the stretcher Ilaire was laid upon and picked her up in the same style again. Ilaire wrapped her arms around Loki’s neck in a hug. “You’re alright,” Loki spoke through deep breaths with a reciprocated hug, rubbing her back to soothe her. Ilaire hugged him tightly. She almost died. She hugged him like it was her last time, because it very well could be. She didn’t want to waste this precious time.
God, Loki was grateful. Grateful she made it. He didn’t know what he would’ve done if something happened to her.
_______
Ilaire was carried to the Royal Palace adjoining to the army quarters. As she was gently dropped on her bed, she spoke for the first time since her attack. She knew Loki would go to the opposing kingdom. He would not wage a war on his own kingdom. “Don’t go Loki,” she pleaded, “I’ll never let you go”.
“Ilaire, I have to go. You know I do,” a tear ran down his face as he spoke the words that would seal his fate. A fate without her.
“Don’t leave me here alone,” Ilaire choked out as hot tears brimed in her eyes. “You’ll always have my spirit. Just think of me,” Loki smiled through the gut-wrenching pain. He really, really didn’t want to leave. But, for once, he wanted to do the right thing. For once, he wanted to earn her friendship.
“Go to sleep, Ilaire. You need it to heal,” Loki cleared his throat before speaking. A protest fought to release itself from Ilaire’s mouth but Loki raised a hand to cut it off. “You know I must do this. There is no use in arguing. I just want you to be safe”, his voice grew hoarse at his last words.
Loki spoke again, “Just close your eyes, the sun is going down. You’ll be alright, no one can hurt you now. Come morning light, you’ll be safe and sound”.
As much as she tried to fight it, Ilaire could not hold off sleep any longer. She wished she could stay awake so that she could convince the love of her life to stay. She wished he didn’t have to sacrifice himself. She wished he didn’t have to go at all. She wished to say and hear so many things that had been left unsaid. But sleep was consuming her. And time was running out. The sand in the hypothetical hourglass was falling at an ever-faster rate.
As her eyelides fluttered, she started to speak, “I lo…,” before sleep consumed her and she trailed off.
She had failed to say those three small words. Three small words. The ones that could’ve changed her life. The ones she will never get to say to him again.
Loki stood and wiped the tears off her face and kissed her cheek, before bringing up a blanket to cover her.
“I love you, Ilaire. I wish we had more time. But we do not. Maybe, one day, we’ll find each other in a another life and live peacefully. Who knows, we could have had a beautiful castle with the most magnificent grounds. Overlooking a view almost as beautiful as you. Or maybe we could’ve had a cottage. On the edge of the woods, next to a crystal clear lake", Loki spoke. He knew as he uttered those words that they will never get to do that now.
Neither heard the words of the other.
With that, he left, making his way back on to the battlefield.
__________
"IT IS I, LOKI ODINSON,” he presented himself. The alien leader made his way to the front. “Goodness, you’re a puny one. Whatever. Chain him, minions”, the yellow leader commanded. Thor watched in shocked silence. But even he knew that this had to be done. The brothers nodded to each other in farewell.
Loki was dragged, in chains, to the ostentatious spaceship of the aliens.
“You have stolen from me, Odinson,” a voice reached him. Loki struggled to remember what he had stolen. There were so many things he had recently pilfered. Then it hit him. He had stolen Maricusan. The most versatile and strong material in the nine realms. This material was used to make the Odinson family armors. And it came from Maricus. The planet known for being deceitful. This meant that their word was false. Unsurprisingly, they were also known for making false deals.
They would not only kill Loki but pillage Asgard too. At this moment, Loki realised he was in deep shit.
A minute ago, he had gone willingly. Now he would fight back. He would fight back to see his brother. He would fight back to see his beloved. With one swift motion, he pulled his hands apart, resulting in the chains snapping with an audible snap. As creatures advanced on him, he kicked and punched while using his clones to distract. Then, through the corner of his eye, he saw an opening in the door, which he managed to slip through.
As he re-entered the battlefield once again, he signaled to Thor. Thor’s eyes widened in shock at the sight of his brother. By now, he too had discovered the yellow Maricusians’ melding properties. The two brother came up with the quickest battle strategy they had ever made and got to work.
____________
In the Royal Palace, Ilaire had woken up. Her sleep was restless and a headache plagued her along with her rampant thoughts. Her beloved was going to sacrifice himself. Or maybe he had done so already. Pain stabbed her heart and tears started to collect in her eyes again. She did not want to be a whiny mess, but what else was she supposed to do? She was helpless against fate.
Sobs warcked her body. Then she saw a glint through her window. She curiously peeked towards it. Then she noticed the ongoing battle. The war was raging on. Now she was confused. Brows furrowed, she looked harder. Then. Then she saw the trademark emerald green and gold. Her heart soared in hope she dared not have.
'Was that Loki?'
She impatiently waited for the man to turn around, biting her nails in nervousness. Sand fell tantalizingly slow in the hypothetical hourglass. Time trickled by leisurely. Never had a moment seemed so long.
It was Loki.
The man was Loki.
A beaming smile broke out on her face as her tears turned to those of joy. She could hear a joyful tune playing in her head. It was a victory song. She felt victorious. She felt victorious for the first time on that horrendous day.
Their eyes met, and their smiles matched. Loki's eyes glinted with affection.
Too weak to join her warriors, Ilaire looked out at the battlefield. Nervously, waiting and hoping. And when the last blow happened, she was lost in felicity. They had done it. They had won. They got through unscathed. Sort of.
Hurriedly, Ilaire raced as fast as she could with her striking injury to get out to the battlefield. She saw Loki and he saw her. He held his arms out and she jumped into them, hugging him ferociously.
“Darling, you should be resting. That is a rather large wound,” he spoke in relief. He was glad to see her.
“You were supposed to die!” she replied.
“Good to know you like me alive,” Loki grumbled.
Like that, the two continued to banter, as Loki walked her back to her chambers, a hand around her shoulders too keep her steady.
When Ilaire entered her room, she started to speak, “Loki, there are many things I wish to say to you. One thing in particular. As I was thinking about possibly losing you, I thought of the things I never got to say”. She paused to gather her breath and to collect strength. She oh-so-very desperately hoped her words didn't come out as verbal diarrhoea.
“I love you. I love you, Loki. I have ever since you picked out that flower bouquet for me. Or when you spar with me. Or when we argue.” She chuckled, “I still keep those flowers preserved because its such a lovely memory.”
She stood with bated breath and nervousness running through her veins.
Loki's face had become softer somehow. His eyes were warm. And when Ilaire realised that this warmth was directed towards her, butterflies collected in her stomach.
“Ilaire, I adore you. I love you with the heat of a thousand suns. Yes, I know that’s cliche. But those are my feelings. You are my beacon when everything else fails. So, I wish to ask you something."
A pause.
Be mine?” he asked with a tender smile and soft blue eyes.
“Say that again,” Ilaire commanded hoarsely.
“Be mine” he smirked.
“Yes,” Ilaire whispered breathily.
Loki rushed forward and gathered Ilaire in his arms, glad to have found his love; his best friend.
“Come morning light, you and I’ll be… safe and sound”
This is what I imagine my OC to look like. Feel free to change as you please :)
Tumblr media
Let me know your thoughts and if you'd like me to write something else <3
20 notes · View notes
tranquil-space-ninja · 5 years ago
Text
The Gray (Sanders' Sides)
Six: Drift Away
Tw: breakdown, cursing
"No," Remus whispered. "No, no, not again."
"Remus?" Remus turned to see Orcus staring at him and the boxes. "Janus is gone, isn't he?" Remus shook his head quickly.
"N-no, he said he'd be back. He promised--" Orcus turned and left. "No," Remus screamed. "You promised you'd be back!" He took a few deep breaths to center himself, wiping away his tears. He summoned his phone and called Logan, hands shaking. As it rang and rang, Remus covered his mouth to keep himself from crying. Then--
"Hello. You have reached Logan Sanders. I am unable to answer your call at the moment, but leave a message and I will return it as soon as I'm able." Remus laughed humorlessly as the tone sounded.
"H-hey, Lo. Janus's room moved. You probably already knew that, but.... Orcus isn't taking it that well, and I'm worried he's going to duck out again. I just wanted to let you know in case you and Virgil.... Just in case. Call me when you get this, or if you need me, or.... Whenever, j-just call me, okay?" Remus hung up and hugged his knees to his chest, rocking himself back and forth. He closed his eyes and breathed, trying to hold himself together. After a bit, he fell asleep.
He woke up to someone shaking him gently. "..emus? Remus?" He opened his eyes to see Logan standing over him, worried. "I got your call. I'm sorry I didn't answer. Patton doesn't allow phones during meals."
"'Salright," Remus mumbled. Logan gently rested his hand on his back.
"Are you doing alright? You sounded quite distraught in your message. Do you--"
Remus burst into tears. "I can't do this anymore, Logan," he sobbed. "I can't keep losing people!" He began to tremble, his breath coming out in short gasps.
"Shh, Remus, breathe," Logan said. "I'm right here, love. I'm right here." His voice was soft and loving, the way Janus, Virgil, Roman, and even Patton, once-upon-a-time, had spoken to him. It only made Remus cry harder. He curled in on himself, resting his forehead in Logan's lap with his thighs under his chest. Logan began to rub circles on Remus' back, whispering soothing words to the vounerable side.
"Why does everyone keep leaving," Remus asked when his tears finally slowed down. "Why do you all hate me so much?"
"We don't hate you," Logan murmured.
"Really? Cause years of evidence say otherwise."
"What evidence do you have to support your claim, Remus?" Remus laughed and wiped away a couple stray tears.
"Where do I start? Roman.... Roman left first. He ran off to join you guys because he thought you'd hate him if he hung out with me. And that says he'd throw me away in a heartbeat if he had to choose again. He came back last time to comfort me, but Mr. Perfect Prince can't have anyone upset with him, can he? And then, Virgil. Do or die, my best friend, besides Janus, of course. Then you all accepted him, and he just up and left, without a warning or another word. And now that he's with you guys, I'm suddenly a common cold. It's like years of laughing and daring adventures in the imagination and bugging Janus just..... Don't exist anymore. Like he wishes he never met us. And now Janus is gone, too. I did everything he wanted for months after Virgil left. I was quiet and calm and I never said or did anything normal, or, at least normal for me. It took months of him promising not to leave, months of him letting me sleep in a sleeping bag in front of his door so he couldn't sneak out, months of walking through the imagination with me while he subtlely convinced me to create new monsters and fight old ones for me to be myself again. Even my debut episode took a bit of acting on my part. The entire time, I was scared Janus was going be disgusted with me and leave, even though he's the one who suggested I go and stir things up. And now, it looks like I was right to worry. I was so, fucking right.... Why the hell couldn't I be right about anything else? Patton was grossed out by me the moment I opened my mouth. Shit, even Orcus ducked out again." Remus rolled over so he could breathe, closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to see Logan's face. He opened them out of shock when Logan's fingers relocated themselves to his hair. After a moment, he melted into the soft touch, one of the many things he missed about Janus's friendship.
"What about me," Logan asked. Soft worry, nervousness, and affection glimmered behind the cracks of his carefully neutral expression. "What makes you think I hate you?"
"A month ago, I'd say you told the others to ignore me so I'd go away. That you calmly treated me like an insignificant inconvinience to keep Thomas from taking me seriously." Guilt permeated the softness in Logan's expression, making Remus feel its itchy presence as well.
"Ah. I apologize, Remus. I was trying to do what was best for Thomas. I should have taken your feelings into consideration." Remus sighed.
"You didn't let me finish." Logan's hand left Remus's hair.
"Sorry...." Remus laced his fingers through Logan's.
"Ask me again," he whispered.
"Remus, what makes you think I hate you?" Remus smiled up at him, tears threatening to return.
"You're the only one who cares." Then Logan did something Remus never expected him to. He laughed, then began to cry and laugh at the same time. Remus sat up and tried to wipe Logan's tears away, crying again himself. Logan tried in vain to do the same for Remus and, after a couple of minutes, they stopped and just held each other tightly. They didn't move or speak until Logan's phone buzzed. He picked it up and checked it, keeping an arm around Remus.
"Patton's wondering where I am," he said.
"You should probably head back," Remus answered, leaning his face into the crook of Logan's neck. He didn't want him to leave, but he didn't want anyone to get upset with either of them.
"No," Logan said, thankfully. "They can wait. You need me more." He then silenced his phone and pushed it away from him, wrapping both arms around Remus. They stayed there for an undetermined amount of time before Remus's stomach growled. Logan frowned at him. "Haven't you eaten yet?" Remus shook his head, too tired for words. Logan stood up, still clutching Remus close to his chest. "Let's get you food, then." Logan carried Remus to the table in the kitchen and sat him down. He went through the cabinets and the fridge before grabbing a pan, some eggs and bacon, and a few slices of bread. He cooked everything methodically, like he was following a recipe in his head. Soon, Remus had a plate of eggs, toast, and bacon in front of him. And, because he was too tired for words, he pressed a light kiss to Logan's lips, a gentle, helpless thank you.
And Logan kissed back.
He smiled gently, one of the most beautiful things Remus had ever seen. "You should eat." Remus nodded and took a bite. He then inhaled the rest of the food. He felt better than he had in a long time.
"Thanks for everything, Lo." Logan caressed Remus's cheek.
"You matter, Remus." They leaned in at the same time and shared a sweet, short kiss, then another, and a third.
After that, they heard a smooth voice clear his throat behind them.
"I hope I 'am' interrupting something."
--------------------------------------------------
Taglist:
@kawaiikat54
@ninjacremepuff
47 notes · View notes
edengarden · 4 years ago
Note
Hi! May I have a romantic heaven box BNHA matchup, please? :)
I'm Flo, a 19 years old bisexual girl.
Appearance: I'm 164 cm(~5'3) tall, with slim, kinda athletic body. I have medium long brown hair and same coloured deer-eyes(probably most attractive part on me), I also wear eyesglasses. I have thin mouth unfortunately. Also, I have a tiny little scar above my right eyebrow(I opened our car's door on my head years ago lolol), it's barely visible. I'm vain and always dress like a lady: so dresses and skirts, I have a classy, elegant or cute style, depends on my daily outfit. I wear light makeup, but not all the time.
Personality: Ambiverted, Virgo with Leo ascendant and Pisces moon. Slytherpuff. Needless to say, these already represent how confusingly dual my personality is. My behaviour constatntly changes, depending on who I am with: I try to sell myself, being two-faced, wearing a mask(sometimes I appear to be talkative, other times full-stoic), but to people I really do love, I'm quite blunt. Most of the time I'm caring and relatively kind person(but can be an asshole&harsh if tired emotionally). Highly critical, opinionated and rational-thinker, and I usually analyze everything: movies, books, other people, myself. HATE small talk, I always want to talk about some deep shit, sharing my opinions, thougts(only if you ask for it). Enjoy debating. Also, I'm the REALLY clumsy, like clumsy af and I have an invincible talent in getting myself into the most embarrassing, cringe situations. Hate appearing to be weak or crying in front of others(I never do), and generally I can get melancolic and depressed easily. I don't really trust even my loved ones, I always hide my deepest emotional(or whatever) issues, I just can't stand the fact being emotionally vulnerable. Also, I bottle up feelings well. But I can be soft sometimes which suprises people. One of my best friends said, I am suprising, always doing something unpredicted. Additionally, I stress over something all the time. About my humour, it's kinda ironic, dark, morbid, troll-ish; roasting, teasing people 24/7. Don't worry, despite my sometimes serious act, I can be a total dumb idiot. Selfish, vain, lazy,  snobbish hahah. Quite liberal, and I almost never judge people, I mind my own buisness. When I can talk about something I love or just sharing my opinion, I am passionate and be ready for a LONG rambling. Oh, I love alcohol and going out with friends, also I smoke those occassions. Plus, I have god-like hands, everyone told me that I could earn money bc of my massaging skills(I just know by instict how to touch people lol). Oh, and I daydream and zone out a lot. I love going out and drink alcohol with my friends(and sometimes somoke too), the drunken me can be a real asshole, but also hugs out of the blue, I get softer. Oh, and I curse fucking much, I have a disgustingly flithy mouth, bc of my rather innocent appearance and behavior ppl are suprised how much is... cruse.
Relationship: I don't really have a 'type' but I get bored easily: I takes a lot for me to really like in long-term a person, so I fall easier for complex and charismatic ones(but like I said, I can fall for other personalities too!!). I'm a quite difficult person to be with and to love, so I'm suprisingly flexible in a relationship. Only thing I need and without it wouldn't work at all: DEEP CONVOS AND SOME INTELLECT. Also, I have a quite roasting-bullying type humour, so my lover should understand and being able to handle that. Anyways, I'm not much of a PDA person(but I don't mid handholding, short hugs etc. if my partner really want to), and not romantic at all(also cannot flirt hehe), and for a long time I can be bit distant. Love language is words of affirmation&quality time, and if I have to express my feelings I'm best with acts of service. I love cuddling, ppl are suprised when I initiate hugs but tbh I love physical affection. I'm probably more likely the 'friend' lover. I need a lot, lot, lot alone time.
Hobbies/Likes: classical literature, theatre, politics, hiking, sightseeing, mysteries, reading about disappearances(crimes), trying out new things, yoga, running, horse riding, table tennis, listening to music, cats, thunderstorms, rainy days, cider, tequila
Music taste: Oh man, MIXED. I listen to literally everything except techno, it depends on my mood honestly. But if I had to say something, I think indie, alternative rock, electronic and psychedelic songs are the closest to me, but I've grown to listen more and more rap. Most of the songs are depressive as fuck, I mean I can be at my happiest, but I'd still listen some dark shit. But still, I enjoy pop(2000s pop at parties FUCK YEAH), jazz. Also, some occassions all my ears and mind need is some good ol' classical music. Some faves: Tame Impala, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Jack Stauber, Fink and some Hungarian bands that no one knows unfortunately. :(
Sorry if I was too long and more sorry if I've already requested before(my brain just rots lol), then just ignore me, hehe~♡
Did you,,, did you just copy paste like 3/4 of who I am
Man when I was reading your persona I was going “RinRinRinRinRinRin-“ but I decided against it UwU
ALL IN ALL you honestly sound like my type of person?? Like deadass I’d wanna befriend you. Fuck them small talks tell me what you think of the expansion of the universe and let’s talk about what if drugs are illegal bc they make us perceive true reality-
I’m going to match you up with... Shindo!
This one is a Battle of Wits, I swear. You didn’t trust him a single bit when the two of you first met, no one even thought you’d ever become friends. Shindo could practically see the gears turning in your head and quite frankly he was impressed?? You’re a highly intelligent individual who was able to keep your guard up and seclude yourself from others while not appearing TOO unapproachable? Boy was whipped and he didn’t even realize it. While others thought you were sort of cold and pragmatic, he thought you were the most well-balanced human in the world.
You guys 100% had an enemies to lovers thing going on, but it was slightly different. YOU started off completely uninterested in him, but while he made you think the feeling was mutual, I think Shindo found himself gravitating towards you. You can bet he secretly celebrated every little victory and step forward he made with you. Boy did NOT let up.
I seriously think he’s entertaining enough for you to keep interest in him. Shindo is as two-faced as you are (if not more), and he WILL change his behaviour within a second to keep your interest (somehow no one noticed his habit of doing that when he was crushing on you?? SUSPICIOUS). Also not a big fan of small talk; if he’s interested in you, he wants to know how you tick. He wants to know what you enjoy, what you like and what you dislike. And when you tell him while trying to still keep an emotional distance from him, he takes it as a challenge. No, he doesn’t think your relationship is a game, but he does think it’s highly entertaining and interesting.
When you start softening up to him, he won’t even grow bored. He’s worked so hard to get close to you and it finally pays off and he’s so happy??
But he won’t ever initiate PDA, just because he too has an image to uphold lmao if others don’t personally know you they’d never know y’all are falling for each other.
Songs!!
- One of My Turns, Pink Floyd (“don’t look so frightened this is just a passing phase one of my bad days” just hits different for the two of you?? I’m not saying your relationship is toxic bc it really isn’t but the VIBE is there)
- Do I Wanna Know?, Arctic Monkeys
- Dollar Days, David Bowie
- You Give Love A Bad Name, Bon Jovi
6 notes · View notes