#this shirt makes me look like a fucking weaboo

[hetare-hetalia]

[softly] 

Goddamnit

[yeet-man]

One’s Rebirth (Christmas Special)

A/N: Ayo, I know this is kinda weird to upload since it ain’t Christmas but some parts are canon and etc so uh ye. Reblog asking what’s canon and anything else ya wanna know and I’ll be sure to answer it. Hope y’all enjoy this chapter!

As Christmas neared and school let out for the holidays, all the students, at least in class 1-A including Mei, were going to J'me's house since dorms didn't exist yet. It would be their first holiday together, and they planned to make it memorable.

Everyone went directly to J'me's house on Christmas Eve. He opened the door to let everyone in, he was nervous, to say the least. The house was decorated as best he could do by himself, his mother went out for the night so they could have the house for themselves. Everyone from class 1-A would be there including Mei. The only person that was absent would be Kairo.

Ryan would walk in and look around at the decorations before walking over to J'me. "So.. everyone's here right?" He had a relaxed smile resting on his face as he asked this.

"Yeah, though I don't see Kairo. Who cares, man can go fuck himself for all we know." He said jokingly and simply shrugged at Kairo not being there. "How have you and Mina been? Seems like you got a crush on her."

"Uhh... Well, we're good friends." He'd kinda lean in a little so that he was at J'me's level. "Also how'd you know that?"

J'me just looked at Ryan and chuckled slightly. "It's not that difficult to tell plus didn't you say you had a crush on Mina in the real world?" He said with a small smug face.

Ryan would shrug a small bit. "You're right...I did...I was hoping I could use this party to ask her out."

"Nice, I planned on asking Mei out during our 'secret santa' stuff. Though we all know I rigged it so you got everyone and I got Mei."

Before Ryan could respond a huge box and then a small box came crashing through the window. It broke the window and landed on the floor, the boxes had a tag that read 'To the dumb fucks that are my friends.' Kairo was, of course, talking about J'me and Ryan. The gift for Ryan was a red and black scythe, Kairo didn't care what Ryan thought about it, he just hoped he wouldn't be questioned about it. J'me's gift was in the small box, it was sharingan contacts with the tag reading 'fucking weaboo'.

Hearing the crash, J'me immediately opened the door to see no one in the snow. He let out a sigh and had an annoyed look on his face. "I swear to god Kairo..." He turned to look at Momo, she noticed the broken window and simply nodded. She made a new windowpane, J'me smashed the old one and replaced it with the new one. "Ryan, can you pick up the glass while I put the presents under the tree?"

A rock came through the new fucking windowpane because Kairo was being a bitch.

He'd nod a little as his tendrils picked up the shards and dense purple flames shot towards the rock and glass, causing the glass to melt back to its normal shape.

"I hope Kai-" J'me made a clone to go after Kairo. He put the presents under the tree. "It's fucking Christmas, why does Kairo have to pull his dumb pranks?"

He'd shrugged a little as he looked around, seeing the small Mineta walking around looking at the girls. "Hmm.."

Mineta would try to flirt with the girls before Iida smacked him and waved his arms in multiple directions at once. "Mineta! It's Christmas, this isn't a time to flirt with girls!" 

J'me chuckled and looked at Ryan. "By the way man, enjoy yourself... Just don't pull a Kairo."

He would smile a little before walking towards Mina. "Sure thing mate."

Mina would turn to look at Ryan. "Oh hey Ryan! How are you enjoying the party? I'm surprised J'me had a house this big, it looks so pretty!" She looked around in excitement before looking back at Ryan with a smile.

He'd let out a small chuckle as she said that, and looked around. "Yeah, his house is pretty nice... Also, the party seems alright so far. Are ya having fun?"

"Who wouldn't be having fun! Well except for Kairo since he broke J'me's window..." If Kairo was in the room, let's just say he would be dead.

"Yeah." He'd smile a little, "Kairos being a little rude is all." He'd then glance back towards Mineta as he saw him start walking in their direction.

"Agreed..." 

Mineta would walk up to both of them not caring if they were trying to have a conversation. "Hey acid girl, how about we go somewhere else?" Mineta would have a small smug expression on his face. He would also be staring at Mina's boobs.

Ryan's gaze would change as he looked at Mineta. His expression would change to that of annoyance and aggravation. His expression made him seem like a real life demon. "Mineta… stop," he'd deliver a swift kick to Mineta, which would send him flying.

Mineta would fly into the wall, that's when J'me looked at Ryan. "What did I say about pulling a Kairo? Next time kick his ass into the ground." Mineta would be out for the next few minutes.

He'd glance at the wall, which had no damage. "I didn't pull a Kairo, J'me." 

Ryan would then turn back towards Mina with a smile. "So… how about we move to somewhere else... maybe a place that Mineta won't find us."

J'me just rolled his eyes and walked over to Mei.

Mina would start to blush after she heard the question. "What do you mean by that Ryan?"

Ryan would think about his words for a second before a slight blush went over his face. "Uhh... what do you want me to mean?"

"Something that isn't inappropriate you pervert." She was playing of course...or was she?

Mineta woke up with a confused look. He was wondering what he got kicked for asking a question.

He'd smile a little more as he grabbed her hand and slightly pulled her away from the group "It doesn't have to be inappropriate…" Ryan would then pause for a second as his blush deepened in color a bit and mumbled quietly, "unless you want it to be..."

J'me would notice Ryan dragging Mina and got a basic idea of what was gonna happen. "Ryan, there's a mini log house in the back for reasons ya know!"

He'd glance back with a large smile on his face as his face got even redder. "Uhh.. yeah, thanks J'me."

J'me just smirked seeing Ryan turn red. He knew they weren't gonna do it but just in case. Who knows what the hell Ryan would do. "No problem man." He started hanging with Mei, that was till Mineta walked over. 

"Hey momma, how about we get our own room?" 

J'me's eye twitched just hearing that question. He picked up Mineta by his shirt. "Who the fuck said you could come over here you little shit?" Before Mineta had time to respond J'me already slammed him into the ground.

Ryan could be heard from somewhere in the house. "You pulled a fuckin Kairo."

The ground wouldn't be damaged, just the fuck boy knocked out. "Naw chief just knocked his ass out for a while."

Even though he wasn't seen he'd nod before pulling Mina into a room "Sure mate."

An hour or two would pass before J'me would call everyone to the living room. "Alright, it's time to exchange gifts, I swear to god if anyone else pulls a Kairo you will be kicked out of this house."

A few minutes later Ryan and Mina would come back to the living room, both with slight smiles. They seemed to be holding hands.

J'me would look over at Ryan. "Man, could you not wait till it was time to exchange gifts to give Mina's hers?"

He smirked a bit, "I guess I couldn't." He'd pause as he took a wooden box out of his jacket and tossed it to J'me. "And this is your gift mate."

J'me would catch it as if it was nothing. "Hm..." He would open it to see the special kunai in it.

Ryan used his quirk to make a kunai out of dense flames that looked similar to the one in the box. "It's a special kunai that has some of my dense flames fused in with it. Also, it has your 'special' formula on it because Mei helped with it."

He would look at Mei, then Ryan. "This is really nice...I'm just mad that yo dumbass couldn't figure it out by yourself."

He'd yeet his flame kunai at J'me. "No problem mate."

J'me would catch it. "Hey hey now, let's wait till the next battle to fight man."

Ryan would let out a small sigh as the kunai he threw vanished. "Bet... so, did we miss anything while we were gone?" He'd motion to him and Mina.

He looked around for the kunai and then looked at Ryan. "Wait y'all were gone?" He said jokingly, "so why are parts of your clothes melted?"

He would glance down at where some of Mina's acid had accidentally hit and blush a little. "Uhh... She accidentally got some of her acid on me."

"Oh? How did that happen? Y'all weren't fucking were y'all?"

Ryan's face would turn to a deeper red out of embarrassment, "No…"

Mina would quickly protest. "We wouldn't do anything like that!" She exclaimed with a heavy blush on her face.

Ryan would quickly nod in agreement.

"Hm...Alright...." He motioned everyone to sit down so they could exchange presents.

Ryan would sit down as his blush faded and motioned for Mina to sit next to him, instead though she plopped right onto his lap. "Ok... uhh who gets the first present?" The red had faded now, mostly gone except for a slight pink tint.

"Shit uh...I guess let the biggest pervert get his present first."

Ryan would smile a bit as he used his foot to slide a present to Mineta "This is for you mate." 

Mineta would catch the present, which seemed to be twice as big as him and started to slowly unwrap it. "Is this what I think it is?!" Mineta would see Mt. Ladys head and tore off the rest of the wrapping paper with glee, his present was a Mt. Lady body pillow, and Mineta loved it. He had a little drool dripping out of his mouth and a slight nosebleed as he looked at it "Ahhh... Mount Lady... big boobs... big thighs..." He continued to mumble stuff like that as he played next to the pillow.

"Now that you have your present, shut the hell up and go to the corner." Mineta followed his instructions since he was very excited.

Ryan would look down before sliding a present over to Mei. "It's from J'me," he lied about that. It was from him but wanted J'me to get the credit, so she'd think more of him. It was the newest, most expensive wrench set available. Along with some brand new power tools.

As Mei was opening it, J'me looked at Ryan. 'What the fuck…' He mouthed to the boy who was taller than him.

He'd shrug with a slight smile. "What do you mean? You're the one who got it, remember?"

Mei looked at the wrench set and power tools. She then hugged J'me tightly. "Thank you so much J'me!"

He would look at Ryan and simply nodded. "Yeah, no problem Mei."

Ryan would give a slight nod before grabbing a smaller box and handing it to Mina. "This is for you."

Mina would smile lightly as she opened the box with excitement and saw the gift, a golden necklace with her name on it. The name was made of shaped gold with a single diamond where the dot for the I is. She'd see this and smile even more as she spun on Ryan's lap and hugged him while wrapping her legs around him. "THANK YOU RYAN!!" She'd give him a slight kiss before putting it on.

J'me would get a smug face on his face as he watched Mina and Ryan.

Ryan would smile a little as Mina did her thing before glancing at J'me with a smirk.

J'me stood up and helped Mei up as well. "It's time for the actual present I was going to give you." He grabbed her hand and guided her outside.

Ryan would stay where he was and smile as he started hugging Mina and tossed a gift to Midoriya. "Mate, here." 

Deku would open it nervously and see a note that read "Shoot your shot already man." Deku knew what he was talking about and continued into the gift. He soon found a new costume. It was similar to his normal design but more like All Might's "Wh--WHATTTT!! Thank you so much!!" He'd grab it and run to the back before coming back out with it on.

Bakugo would stare at him with a slight grin before muttering, "Idiot," and looked towards Ryan. "Love bird, Where's my gift?"

Ryan would laugh a little as he picked up a small box and tossed it to him, "It's right there." 

Bakugo would open it and stare at it for a second. They were a new set of drum sticks "What are these for?" He'd look to where Ryan was pointing and smile a bit. A new drum set was sitting behind the tree with an orange bow on it. "Thanks."

Once J'me and Mei were outside, they started to walk away from the house. The scenery was stunning, snow falling down on everything. It truly looked like a winter wonderland. 

J'me had a special place where he wanted to ask Mei out. As they were walking towards the place, it was clear they were cold. Their bodies shaking uncontrollably, even with the coats that were on them.

Mei reached her hand out to touch J'me's hand, but she hesitated. The girl was afraid that he wouldn't like it and think she was weird. After a few seconds she gathered up the courage and grabbed J'me's hand, blushing in the process.

J'me turned to see Mei blush as she grabbed his hand. "Mei, why are you holding my hand…?" He questioned with a gentle tone in his voice. Every time he spoke, small breaths of air could be seen in the snow.

"I'm...I'm taking measurements for your hand!" She tried to keep her energetic attitude even if the girl was extremely nervous. 

"Oh really? If you were taking measurements, why are you blushing?" He said with a slight smirk on his face. 

Mei wouldn't be able to say anything in order to counter J'me's question. She blushed even more and looked away, still holding on to his hand.

J'me smiled and kept on walking to the special place. He still held her hand because he secretly liked it.

A few minutes would pass in silent before they reached the place. It was a park with a small lake around 10 meters from it.

"Here we are…" He guided Mei to the middle of the park and turned to look at her.

She looked at the scenery before turning her attention to J'me. "This...this is really beautiful J'me…" Mei would have a light pink blush on her face.

"Thanks!" He looked around for a couple seconds, J'me had no clue how to start this off. All he knew was the feelings he had for Mei and that he wanted to express them somehow. He grabbed both of her hands and held them tightly. "Mei...I don't know how to express this but...I…" He was hesitant to say it, J'me was afraid Mei would reject him for some reason. "I like you...I don't mean as a friend either…" J'me could already fill the blush appearing on his face. 

Mei's face would be filled with a huge blush as she looked away and out to the lake. She felt the same way about him, but did she really want to date him? She bit her lip and thought about it for a couple seconds. "Some people say that love doesn't exist...but here I am liking you as well J'me." She had a soothing yet caring voice as she spoke.

The blush on J'me's face would only get bigger by the second. "R-really? W-would you be my girlfriend…?" He felt extremely embarrassed to ask, but he wanted Mei to be his girlfriend. He looked into her creamy coffee eyes and hoped she would say yes.

The girl finally turned her direction to the boy after the question. Mei looked J'me in his dark wooden eyes before she spoke. "Y-yes, I'll be your girlfriend J'me Falcon." She smiled after her response even with the blush Mei had on.

J'me smiled like a huge idiot but he couldn't help himself. He was truly happy for one in his depressing life. He pulled Mei into a hug and softly placed a kiss on her forehead.

Mei hugged J'me back and only blushed more as he placed a kiss on her forehead. She stuffed her head to his chest since it was very comfortable.

With the hug in front of the lake, the scene looked like it came out of a movie. It was truly beautiful and for once J'me had a reason to look forward to Christmas.

After a few minutes J'me pulled away from the hug and smiled. "Mei, I promise I'll always do my best for you."

"That's sweet J'me but just having you by my side is good enough." Mei smiled hugely as she spoke to him.

He blushed softly before grabbing her hand and taking the girl back to the house.

They held hands through the walk home which helped them stay warm somewhat. It did stop their uncontrollable shaking. 

Once they got back and J'me opened the door, everyone turned to look at the new couple. Most of them smiled for how cute the sight was, unlike Bakugo's bitch ass. 

They sat down as if nothing happened or well pretended like nothing happened.

Ryan would smile and whisper to Mina, "looks like we're not the only ones who got together." He'd give her a light kiss before pulling her closer and holding a thumbs up to J'me. 

J'me just chuckled at Ryan's thumb up. He looked to see some others that got their present. "You actually gave Bakugo a present?"

Bakugo's eye would twitch slightly as he stood up and walked over to J'me. "Is there a problem you fucking pipsqueak?!" 

J'me let go of Mei's hand and stood up as well. "Yeah there is a problem…" The boy sent a right jab straight at Bakugo's jaw. "The problem is you, you fucking bitch."

Before Bakugo could react Mari jumped in between the two boys. "J'me it's Christmas, try to be a bit nicer today okay?" The immortal then turned to face Bakugo. "Let's try our best to not cause problems Suki," she teased lightly. 

"You're right Mari, it's Christmas. I should be acting a bit nicer. My bad Bakugo, you know how I can get mad at you quickly. I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry." J'me sat back down and held Mei's hand.

"Yeah whatever you pipsqueak…" He walked back to his spot and sat down, an angry expression on his face.

Mari let out a small sigh of relief and sat down herself.

Ryan would smile and as the conversation went on. He pulled a blanket over him and Mina while continuing to cuddle with her.

"Hold up partner, the party ain't over so y'all can't cuddle 'Mr. I'm gonna buy everyone a present'." He said holding Mei's hand tightly.

Ryan would flip him off jokingly and point towards the presents, "You hand out the rest."

"Bruh don't you have a demon or some shit inside? Make that fool hand the rest out."

He'd let out a sigh as all his gifts started sliding towards their recipient's.

As each person opened their gifts, they'd all thank him since they all either helped with their quirk or was about something they liked. Ururaka got a note similar to Deku's too.

J'me looked to see if there were anymore presents under the tree. It looks like they forgot about Kairos gift. He got up and tossed Ryan's present to him. "We forgot about Kairos gift he gave us...oof."

His gift seemed to unwrap itself since he was still cuddling with Mina, "a scythe? Nice."

J'me unwrapped his gift as well. "Hell yeah, sharingan contacts. I'm bouta pull an Itachi." He said in a joking manner.

For the people who don't know, Itachi is a character in the famous Naruto series. He was basically forced to kill his entire clan to prevent a war between the clan and village.

The scythe would lift into the air and float almost like something was guarding Ryan and Mina, "bet mate."

J'me would just laugh a little before sitting back down next to Mei.

Mina would pull a small gift from her pocket. It was a box wrapped up, inside the box was a watch that had Ryan's initials on the side of it. She then gave it to Ryan, "I'm sorry it's not much but that's the best I could do."

Ryan would look at the watch then back at her, "It's perfect Mina." He'd give her another kiss before putting it on, "thank you."

Jesus Christ Ryan, the two of yall just got together. You really need to stop being a damn man thot tryna get hella kisses and shit.

Mei would smile a little as she pulled out a small box of her own and gave it to J'me, "Here, I made this for you." She'd have a slight blush on her face as she gave it to him. It was a bracelet that had a button on it. 

J'me would open the gift and hugged Mei. "It's amazing, thank you so much Mei." He put the bracelet on and touched the button to see what it would do.

The bracelet would instantly shoot out around his arm, creating a gauntlet that could shift into a shield.

J'me's eyes widened in excitement as he hugged Mei again. "This is really amazing! I can't wait to use this in battle!"

She hugged him back and blushed a bit more. "Y-you're welcome J'me…"

Ryan would glance down at Mina and see that she was now asleep, still sitting on his lap with her legs wrapped around him, and leaning on his chest with her arms around him. "So... we're staying here for the night right?"

"Yeah I guess so...except Mineta is not staying." 

Mineta looked sad for a second, "why not?!!"

Ryan would smile a bit before motioning to Mineta's pillow, "I think he'll be fine."

J'me looked at the pillow and rolled his eyes. "He does one thing and he's out in the snow for the rest of the night." 

Iida stood up and started waving his arms around. "Alright guys! Time to get into our pajamas and into the sleeping bags!"

Ryan would smile as he looked down at Mina again and saw she was already in pjs. "Umm... I'm ready."

Before J'me changed he called out to Ryan, "Yo Ryan can I talk to you outside before we had to bed?"

He'd nod and slightly/gently moved mina off of him, "Sure." He'd stand up and start walking to the door.

He pressed the button on the bracelet so it wouldn't cover his arm anymore. He grabbed his coat and tossed Ryan's to him. "Put that on dipshit." He said putting his coat on and walking outside.

He'd laugh a little before catching it and slipping it on. "Ok mate," He'd then walk out after him.

He made sure the door was closed before speaking. "So, what are we gonna do about All Might? Since I have all these powers I wanna heal him but I don't wanna fuck up the timeline."

He'd shrug as he thought about it, "I could heal him too... but I don't think we should mess up the timeline."

"I mean we already fucking up the timeline just from being here...hell even Kirishima knows I'm not originally from here."

He'd nod slightly "Same with Mina...."

"Hold up wait a fucking minute Ryan. How the fuck did that happen?" 

"It's a long story to say the least J'me."

"I don't give a damn, you better tell me."

"Well it all started at the hero vs villain part..." He'd go on to explain how they worked together and she realized that he knew the place, and so he explained to her what happened.

"I see...well shit not everyone needs to know we aren't from here."

"I know...Mina said she'll keep quiet as well."

"So did Kirishima," He would let out a small sigh. "How much of the timeline do you think is affected just from us being here?"

He'd start scratching his head a little before he responded. "Uh.. probably all of it.. considering there's that other girl.. Mari I think.."

"I don't think she's really affecting the timeline, considering it's like she's been here her entire life."

He'd nod, "Yeah...wait. What if she's the first thing that's wrong with this timeline...all because we came here."

"Ryan what the fuck are you trying to hint at?"

"Maybe she's here because we're here..."

"That could be possible but how could that even happen?"

He'd make a dense spike and start drawing in the snow, "This is their timeline." He'd draw a straight line off of their timeline "This is the timeline now, since we appeared here..." He'd then draw a line from the front of the main timeline to the tip of their timeline, "But there's always a possibility that these two timelines separated at the start of the first one because we were destined to be here.." He hoped J'me was keeping up.

"Why were the four of us destined to be here then? What use do we have here..." He then realized why. "What if we are here because of overhaul? We know they had trouble fighting him."

He shrugged a little, "Or maybe we're here for a different threat." As he said this Mina would come out and with a tired voice saying, "You left me on the couch baby."

J'me would simply nod, Mei came out with Mina as well. "J'me come on it's getting lateeeee." J'me chuckled and started walking inside, "come on Ryan."

He'd laugh some as he put his coat on Mina and picked her up, "C'mon let's go in." He'd then walk in and sit back down on the couch with Mina, who was already asleep and had her legs and arms wrapped around him, and pulled her closer before pulling a blanket over them.

J'me would grab Mei's hand and guide her to his room. "Goodnight guys!" He called out before leaving the living room.

Everyone fell asleep rather quickly, it was a quiet night. The only one who didn't get sleep that night was Iida. That was because he kept hearing weird noises in J'me's spare bedroom which beforehand, he saw Ryan and Mina go in there in the middle of the night.

Once the sun started to rise, J'me woke up and decided to make a big breakfast for everyone.

He quietly made his way into the kitchen without waking anyone up and started to cook.

After a few hours passed, the food was finally done and everyone was awake. "If you make a mess, clean it up please." Once he said that he let everyone eat. While they were eating, he went into the living room to sit down and relax. 

That's when Mari came into the living room as well. "Hey, J'me right?" She said slightly messing up his name.

"Yeah that's me, what do you want Mari?" He had a confused look on his face, normally she never even talked to J'me.

"Um...I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for throwing the party and making us breakfast, I know you didn't have to do that…" The immortal spoke with a warm tone in her voice.

"Oh, it's not a problem. I just wanted our first Christmas to be special, that's all really. Merry Christmas by the way." He said with a smile on his face. 

Mari simply smiled at the reasoning, "Merry Christmas J'me." She then walked into the kitchen.

Everyone ate breakfast and shortly left after. Of course they thanked J'me beforehand for the party and food.

Thus the end of One's Rebirth, the Christmas special. Merry Christmas everyone!

[glassedplanets]

I love your AU redesigns for Suigetsu and Jugo, particularly Jugo. I mean, Kishimoto drew all of Taka very attractive (and it was notable how much more skilled their drawing is in the manga compared to the lukewarm drawing from Pierrot) but lbh he didn't put much thought into Jugo's outfit lol All these outfits are making me butthurt abt adult Sasuke's redesign (we're not even talking about Nart cuz they changed his FACE). Do you have any ideas of what you'd have liked for adult Sasuke's outfit?

taka’s post-series designs are some of the best, honestly, and i’m 100% biased because the shaved sides look for jugo AND karin is just (chef’s kiss)

you’re opening up a can o’ worms here and i’m sorry in advance, but – as far as sasuke’s adult design goes, imo it’s the lesser of two evils between him and naruto. (naruto’s is just a fucking tragedy. i hope whoever vetoed the absolutely fantastic (logical! sensical!) tales of a gutsy ninja design steps on a lego this week.) but! but. i have bones to pick.

the first major bone i have to pick with it is that it’s.. how you say.. fucking bougie. a VEST? a fucking COLLARED SHIRT? listen, sasuke is THE drama queen of the series and i say this with as much love as possible, but honestly, truly, frankly, all of his outfits have been stunningly pragmatic. forgive me for citing tvt here (i will do this only once more in this post) but they have a point:

even with the tiddies out shirt, it’s sensible. there’s a reason. he switches to a sleeveless shirt between killing orochimaru and the fight with itachi for the same reason. he goes back to simpler a short-sleeve shirt through the end of the series, similar to what he wore as a kid. it is FLAT OUT RIDICULOUS that uchiha “says exactly as many words as necessary” sasuke would choose to wear something as superfluous as a collared vest and a shirt. imo the general spirit of the design is alright – darker colors, purples, long sleeves, cloak – but get this fucking man a sensible shirt for once in his life. for ONCE. i honest to god like his fucking hobo cloak design more than the post-series/boruto design because it is ruthlessly pragmatic. also, i’m a huge fan of those armguards he wore at the start of shippuden, because they look fantastic. those can come back any day as far as i’m concerned. (gee, i wonder why i put them on his redesign for the au.)

moving on to my second and much pettier bone to pick, i hate. i HATE where he keeps his sword. this is one hundred percent a personal bias thing, because while the other normal kids in middle school and high school did things like band or volunteering, i was the fucking weaboo who participated in sword competitions on the weekends, and so unfortunately now i’m stuck Knowing Things about swords. (specifically katanas! even more unfortunate.) do you know how uncomfortable it is to get smacked by a sheath? get it off that goddamn fishing line so it stops bouncing around on his back because that has got to be painful and uncomfortable. even in this (early?) boruto manga outfit, it’s in a more sensible place. secondly, sensibility aside, the way sasuke keeps his sword throughout shippuden is flat-out really cool. no other character in the series who uses a sword does that! it’s unique and it stands out. it is, as you say, iconique, and it sucks to lose that. 

my third bone to pick is less petty and more just a weird personal bias thanks to a misunderstanding – here’s my second quote from tvt:

initially, when my interest in naruto got piqued again after… 10 or so years? for whatever godforsaken reason i decided to read what tv tropes had to say about sasuke, but i didn’t actually look up any visuals. so for a few months, i honest to god thought that sasuke was growing his hair out long long post-series, and i was honestly disappointed to find out that this meant he just looks even more like an emo kid of yore. long hair would be an interesting move, both to echo madara’s looks, and as a sign of movement away from having short hair as a kid/teen. 

my fourth and final bone to pick is more of a general one, but man, i wish he had scars. yes there’s magical healing, yes there’s no “need” to have scars, yes it’s mostly clearly just a stylistic thing, but i wish. give me facial scars and burn scars and little scars all over his hands from handling sharp weapons. there’s so much flavor to be added through scars. 

boy this got long but to tl;dr:

longer hair

less of a fancy cloak, more like what he wore near the end of the series

a return to how he used to carry his sword (which does have precedent, actually) 

a sensible shirt and no fucking vest

[mergays]

i’m late but here’s my contribution to @dirkjohnweek

prompt: AU

basically a quality AU involving a hypothetical fire in the building john lives in during the middle of fucking december and the weaboo neighbor that offers to let him use his jacket

enjoy!

It was thirty five degrees fahrenheit outside when the fire alarm in the apartment complex went off.

John was startled out of his bed, and he rolled off of it onto the floor in a panic to pull on a T-shirt over his pajama pants. The room was dark except for a faint blue light streaming in on his door from his window. Droning on, the alarm continued blaring, and he reluctantly dragged himself with a groan, scrambling on his bedside table for his phone and his keys before jogging out.

Once in the living room, he wasted no time tugging on his boots and running out of his apartment, glancing around at his scared neighbors as they too hurried for the stairs. Resisting the urge to push old Mrs. Jenkins down as she took her sweet time blocking the way, John just bounced on his heels, praying that the fire was at least above the third floor.

The lights of the alarms flashed in his face as the crowd hurried down, loudly talking amongst themselves as they each struggled not to be the ones to freak out. John took the stairs two at a time whenever he could, using his height to squeeze inbetween the taller escapees. He pushed out onto the street and immediately shivered, wrapping his arms around himself as he hurried away from the building. A sizeable crowd was forming by this point, most of them looking angry or scared or just plain annoyed, not unlike John himself.

He rubbed his arms frantically, watching his neighbors enviously those who had thought of bringing jackets. For a few seconds he just stood, waiting for a sign of smoke of flames to appear and show an actual fire.

“Hey.”

John didn’t think the voice was talking to him at first, and so he ignored it until he felt a light touch on the top of his shoulder. He turned around to see a taller man, with long hair hanging in his face, and sharp sunglasses sitting on the back edge of his nose. He didn’t look that much like he had rolled out of bed, but as John watched, the other shrugged out of his orange jacket and held it out in offering, revealing a purple sweater with a big knitted penis underneath.

First John looked at the sweater, and then the jacket being offered, before giving the man a look. No matter how hard he squinted, though, the other’s face didn’t deign to change.

“Is this the jacket from that anime Naruto?” John crossed his arms, refusing to give in. A single dark eyebrow arched over the others shades, and he gave a slow shrug, offering it again.

“Yeah.” Is all he finally responded. John couldn’t believe his ears.

What kind of complete lack of shame was this? But suddenly a freezing breeze blasted through his thin shirt, and he snatched the old-school weaboo jacket from the other man.

“I like your shirt.” The man commented, and John looked down, resisting the urge to let out an embarrassed groan. Out of all the shirts cast out on his floor, somehow he had grabbed the joke one Rose had gotten him for his birthday, that read the following:

BORN THIS GAY

He continued looking at the shirt for a long second before pulling on the thick orange jacket, which was surprisingly heavy and warm. The collar just barely brushed the ends of his shaggy hair, reaffirming that he needed to cut it.

“We can’t all knit dick sweaters.” He responded, giving the one in front of him a nod, and the man actually gave a quiet snort.

“My friend made this for me.” The guy explained, holding out his hand. “My name is Dirk.”

For a few seconds John didn’t respond, trying to decide if he wanted to be friends with this weird guy or not. Finally he gave in, shaking the hand in return and giving a little shrug. “John. Do you think the building is actually burning?”

If he hadn’t have been watching so closely, there’s no way he would have seen the sudden shift in Dirk’s demeanor, almost looking sheepish as he looked at all the people lining the empty street.

“Dirk…?”

“Hypothetically, I didn’t mean for the welding torch to catch the whole robot on fire.”

John stared in horror at him for a few long seconds, looking around anxiously at the people surrounding before leaning in to whisper.

“You started the fire? ...Did you put it out?!”

“Yeah, it’s all good. But I came down while they searched so that they wouldn’t find the evidence.”

At the word evidence, John looked at Dirk closely, trying to see any pieces of metal poking out of his skinny jeans or sweater.

And then it hit him.

“The jacket??” He hissed incredulously, feeling at the lumpy pockets and resisting the urge to tear it off.

“Yep.” John could have sworn that he saw the corner of Dirk’s mouth twitch up slightly in a subtle smirk once he had figured it out, and he pulled the jacket tighter to himself, stepping closer as he looked around.

“You know, you could get in a lot of trouble for this. They probably send arsonists to like, jail.”

“I’m not an arsonist,” he stated defensively. “I just like building things, and I made a mistake.” Dirk reached up to try and push up his limp, dyed bangs.

John just shook his head. He took note of the dark circles under the other’s eyes, as well as the chipped off nailpolish he wore. They stood in silence for a few moments together before John half heartedly nudged his fist against Dirk’s shoulder. The other looked up in confusion.

“That’s for waking me up, asshole. And scaring everybody in the building half to death.”

This time Dirk really was smiling slightly, and John felt his face heat up slightly, looking back at the main entrance.

He punched Dirk’s arm harder, and this time the other really did wince.

“And for trying to fucking frame me with the jacket. Who does that? You’re lucky I’m warm.”

Dirk gave him a look.

“The odds of the police actually searching anyone would be incredibly low. But I guess it kind of slipped my mind when I offered it to you.”

John pulls the shitty orange fabric tighter to his body, squinting intently through his large black frames.

“Bullshit.”

A huff of air escaped Dirk as he chuckled silently, making little white puffs in the freezing, lamp-lit air. John felt the small tickle of butterflies alight in his chest at making the asshole laugh, and he shook his head hard, trying to ignore the persistent fluttery feeling.

“You know, if you’re really so ready to pay me back for my crimes, you should come bother me at work sometime. The Walmart off the closest highway, I’m assuming you know which one it is?”

“You work at a Walmart?” John felt stupid for clarifying, but he couldn’t help but eye Dirk in a mix of admiration and disgust.

If anything he had expected some kind of gaming store, or maybe a Hot Topic type place. Spencers? John shuddered to himself, stiffening up when he felt a very awkward and unwelcome hand placing itself on his shoulder.

Quickly he shrugged it off, stepping about a yard away to watch a blank-faced Dirk drop his sympathetic (and warm) hand back down to his leg.

“Yeah.” Dirk replied after a few seconds, seemingly oblivious to the awkward preceding silence. John held back a groan and just wrinkled his nose up, not even trying to hide his obvious discomfort and distaste.

Dirk opened his mouth after a few seconds, likely to weird John out with something else, but just then their landlord stepped out of the building, calling out the massive all-clear.

Feeling his shoulders sag in relief, John moved forwards with the rest of the crowd, trying to escape the uncomfortable situation behind him. Surprisingly, Dirk didn’t seem to follow him, and it wasn’t until he was upstairs at his door that John remembered that he was still wearing the other’s jacket.

With a sigh, he pulled it off, eyeing the now obvious grease-stains on the sleeves with annoyance. What a weirdo.

The pocket clinked again, announcing the presence of the ‘robot parts’ which had caused the whole fiasco, and John found himself instinctively reaching inside to pull them out, determined to witness the root of the problem himself.

His hand closed around a few metal plates that held no significance to him, but as he tugged them from the soft pocket, an inked wisp of paper fluttered out, landing face-down on the floor. John let go of the metal and knelt to pick it up, flipping the tiny scrap over and just staring.

Apartment 32B.

Aka: John’s place.

Silently, John pulled out his phone, and began to pull up Google Maps. It appeared that tomorrow he was going to have to stop by a certain Walmart.

Tapping the button for bookmarks, John shrugged off the jacket and set it down on his table, with his phone on top. He slunk from the living room to his own room, sliding off his pants and into his sheets, sighing at how cool they had become in his short-absence. Tossing his glasses on his bedstand, John snuggled his face into his pillow, finally settling down to sleep.

It was then, of course, that for the second time that night, the piercing wail of a fire alarm went off.

Turning his head, John pressed his mouth into his pillow and screamed.

[krashtheremnant]

Chicken Sliders (Pyro x Reader) SMUT

Don’t read this unless you’re a Pyro furfag like me. WARNING: Rated 18 for very sexual themes and actions, cursing, and furries. (Not really)

Please don’t read if you’re under 18. If you do then u nasty. Sorry Pyro. —–

It was past midnight and it was raining; usual weather for London, but no matter how often it rained she always enjoyed it. Storms relaxed her and gave her the perfect atmosphere to unwind. Her eyes illuminated with the light of her phone as she scrolled down recent uploads on YouTube. One of her friends Niall, also known online as ‘Pyrocynical’, had just uploaded a video about his Twitter being banned. She chuckled at the thumbnail, and clicked on the video. She had been curious as to why it had been taken down, and who better to explain then Pyro himself. It opened with some dude dressed in one of those inflatable T-rex costumes with some weaboo trash music in the background. She smiled and shook her head, laying against her cold window as she watched. “Wassup my fellow Harambe fans…” Niall’s deep voice echoed in the silence of her dark room, making her heart skip for a second. The weirdness of her body’s reaction made her pause the video and blink. “Strange…” She mumbled. Noticing the time, she decided that this would be the last video she watched before going to bed. She brushed off the bodily revolution, and pressed play.

Once the video ended, the (h/c) haired girl started to get ready for bed. She got into her pj’s and crawled onto her soft mattress, then plugged in her phone and rested her head on her pillow. Her eyes closed, the sound of rain helping to lull her to sleep, her last thoughts remained on Niall. Although strange, she didn’t seem to mind.

The next morning she was awoken by the sound of her phone vibrating against the wood of her nightstand. She grumbled and reached over to retrieve it, her tangled hair sticking out wildly. She turned on the screen, and saw that she had gotten a text from Niall. A smile creeped up on her lips as she unlocked her phone to read it. /Hey, (y/n) are u doing anything for lunch?/ She squinted to read the time in the corner of her screen. It was already 11:30 am. “Oh wow…” She scoffed, realizing she was actually hungry… and had to pee. /I haven’t planned anything. Did u wanna go get something?/ She replied hastily, then looked out the window. It was sunny for once. Within a few seconds, Niall responded. /I dunno I had this new recipe for these chicken slider things and I knew u liked chicken so I thought u’d be down to meme./ (Y/n) chuckled and texted back. /I’ll be over in a few just gotta get dressed n’ shit. Don’t start without me./ /I’ll try not to ;D/ /Weirdo/ /I’ll take that as a compliment/ /;p/ (Y/n) put her phone back on her nightstand and quickly got dressed. She threw on a t-shirt without a bra and then pulled a hoodie over that, not really bothered with her lazy appearance. She and Niall were good friends, there really wasn’t a reason to get all dressy. After sliding on a pair of worn jeans and her boots, she grabbed her wallet, keys, and phone, and headed out of her apartment.

She parked across the street from Niall’s building, and got out of her car. Her boots clunked against the asphalt as she paced over to the doors of his apartment complex. She walked into the building and up the stairs to Niall’s flat, and then knocked gently. She heard some rustling around from inside, then stepped back as the door opened. Niall stood in a sweatshirt and lounge pants. His strawberry blonde hair was tousled haphazardly, giving him the same kind of look as his friend. “Come on in.” He smirked and opened the door wider so (Y/n) could enter his apartment. As she walked past, her shoulder gently brushed against his chest, causing her cheeks to suddenly heat up. She swallowed, and shook the thoughts out of her head once again. “Let’s get cooking, I’m starving.” She chuckled to hide her awkwardness, kicking off her boots and placing them near the door. “That’s why I invited you over, isn’t it?” He raised an eyebrow with a sarcastic smile. “Don’t get snarky, I’ll beat your ass.” She joked and threw one if his throw pillows at him. He caught it and tossed it back on the couch. “That’s because it’s the only part of my body you can reach.” He teased, causing her to glare. “Bitch.” She chuckled. “Jerk.” He replied. “Just show me the recipe.” She rolled her eyes and walked into the kitchen. Niall’s smile grew as he followed her. He pulled out his phone and handed it to her with the recipe pulled up. “Seems doable.” Her eyebrows flexed together as she read. The device let out a sudden ding, and a text message from Roman dropped down from the top. /Hey hey hey how’s the date going furfag? xDddd/ She didn’t mean to read it, but couldn’t stop herself. The text made her blush and giggle, causing Niall to snatch the phone away from her out of embarrassment. “Stupid fucking idiot…” He growled, his cheeks growing a fierce crimson. “Sorry about that, you know Roman..” “Yeah, haha,” she chuckled and brushed a strand of hair out of her face before walking over to the counter where a deboned chicken sat. “Let’s get this started, eh?” “Please.” He sighed and grabbed some buns out of his pantry and some cheese out of the fridge. He placed the buns in a cookie pan and sprinkled the mozzarella on the bottoms then watched as (Y/n) began to spread the rotisserie chicken evenly over the bread. His eyes absently began to wander her form. Her wide hips, and her beautiful (h/c) hair. Even her (e/c) eyes made his throat tighten as they concentrated on the task at hand. He liked her. A lot. For awhile now he’d been trying to find an excuse to hang out with her, and now that he had one, he couldn’t find many words to explain his feelings. Hell, he doubted she even cared. He was just a face on YouTube, and apparently a lesbian looking one at that. He sighed, earning a glance from his friend. “Everything okay Mr. Pyrosanical?” (Y/n) asked in a mocking tone, using the Stomedy version of his name. He quickly buried all signs of his actual feelings and smiled again. “Aw hell yeah. Just can’t wait to get that meat in my mouth, boi.” He rubbed his hands together, and preheated the oven to bake the sliders. “You love my meat in your mouth don’t you, you dirty snag?” She winked as she spoke in Tracer’s squeaky voice, completely unaware of the thoughts that her words provoked in Niall’s mind. He closed the oven, then leaned against the counter to look at her with an amused expression. “I’d prefer Roadhog.” He replied. “Of course you would.” She rolled her eyes again and began to walk out of the kitchen. “Where you off to?” Niall asked. “I gotta pee, is that alright master Pyro?” She joked. “Only if you put the seat back up.” He called after her, snorting when he got a middle finger in response. A deep breath escaped his lips as he went to respond to Roman. /You dumb asshole she had my phone/ He hit send, and a few moments later his phone buzzed. /How was I supposed to know/ /Cunt/ /Have u smashd her like button yet ;O ;) / Niall pursed his lips and grumbled at Roman’s reply. /Fuck u mate we havent even eaten yet/ /Have dessert first kno what I mean Xd/ /Kill yourself/ /Gladly/ /Gtg u dumb slut/ /Kiss u later gayboy unless she beats me to it/ /Fag/ / <3 / He laughed and put his phone back in his pocket. The suggestive thoughts returned to his mind as he hear (Y/n) finish washing her hands and exit the restroom. “Aaah, much better. My bladder is happy.” She said in a giddy tone. Niall shook his head and chuckled. “What are you laughing at?” She glared. “You.” He smirked. “Well no shit, why?” She crossed her arms with a soft grin. “I dunno.” He lied. “Butthole.” She punched his arm and opened the oven to slide in the pan, then set it to bake. “Better watch your mouth, that kind of language will get your Twitter shut down.” He poked at her. “Mleh.” Her tongue stuck out. She turned around, only to be met by Niall’s chest. His mild scent brought her heart into her throat. She looked up slowly and met his mesmerizing blue-green eyes. His gaze was intense yet gentle at the same time, holding her (e/c) gaze captive. Her heartbeat sped up as one of his hands came up to her cheek. Her hand came up to rest on his chest. “(Y/n)…” He spoke softly, brushing another bit of stray hair out of her face. His confidence grew as her eyebrows began to arch with curiosity. “I need to tell you something.” “What is it, Niall?” Her voice was barely audible. This felt like one of her dreams, and any moment she’d wake up, making her want to hold on so much more. Her fingers dug gently into his hoodie. “I… I like you. A lot. More than a lot actually,” He let out a breathy laugh. “And I wanted to know if you felt the same?” (Y/n) smiled brightly and leaned her face into his palm slightly. “Yeah, I think I do, unfortunately.” She began to giggle but was suddenly stopped by a warm pressure against her lips. It felt as if the world just stopped. Her eyes snapped closed as she melted into Niall’s tall form. Their lips moved together with a new desperation neither of them had felt in some time, until they both had to break off to breathe. (Y/n)’s teeth raked against her bottom lip causing a deep, hungry groan to rumble in Niall’s throat. She could feel the hot tension between them both, and quickly acted. Her soft lips pressed against the underside of his jaw, slowly moving down to his neck. Niall’s grip shifted from her face to her lower back, and then to her ass. He gave it a rough squeeze, earning a yelp from her. He grinned with lust-filled eyes, and took advantage of her broken concentration to press his lips back to hers, pushing her back into the warm oven. He broke off, breathing heavily, before placing feverish kisses on her neck and behind her jaw. “Mmh… Niall…” She moaned gently, her grip tightening on his hoodie. Hearing his name spurred a fire deep inside him, causing him to bite down hungrily on the nape of her neck. “Niall!” She yelped out, and pressed her head into the crook of his neck and shoulder. “Fuck, I love that…” He growled and began to guide her out of the kitchen, not once allowing space to grow between their heated bodies. He waited until he felt his couch collide with the back of her knees before pushing her down onto it. Her hands stroked through his soft hair, messing it up further as she continued to kiss him. Niall’s body kept hers caged against the couch, his arms the only things keeping them from being pressed together. Their lips parted for another brief moment, allowing them both to take in the view of each other. (Y/n)’s rosy, warm face made Niall’s breath hitch. “I want you.” He said with his low, predatory voice. His accent was clouded with lust. “I want you too, Niall…” (Y/n) breathed. She ran the pad of her thumb over his defined cheekbone. Her words were enough permission for him to continue his advance. His hand drifted down her torso, stopping at the bottom of her jacket. He began to lift it off of her, leaning back onto his legs so he could use both arms. Once it was off, he threw it onto the chair across the room and then went back for her shirt. She sat, her bare chest exposed to the chilly air of the room. Her arms quickly came up to cover her breasts. Niall’s hands gently gripped her wrists and held them over her head with her consent. “Don’t hide yourself from me… I want to see you.” He kissed her gently on the forehead, a gesture she wasn’t expecting. She let out a moan as he began to kiss her collar bone, and then through the valley of her breasts. He repositioned his hands so that he could gently caress one of them. His lips covered one of her nipples and began to suck. Her wrists twisted and strained against his stern grasp, her breathing grew ragged and littered with moans of arousal. Niall nipped gently at her skin, causing her to yell out once more. “Ah!” Her back arched slightly, and her legs scissored underneath him. He smirked and kissed the mark he had made. His hand grazed the soft skin of her stomach as it made its way to the waistband of her jeans. He thumbed at the button before beginning to pull them off of her legs. She kicked them the rest of the way off. Niall looked down at her as she squirmed and groaned beneath him. Her movements made his pants even tighter than they were. Seeing how desperate she was to touch him, he finally released her. Without hesitation, she grabbed his hoodie and yanked it off of his torso. “You’re such an ass…” She smiled. “Why’s that?” He chuckled, allowing her to remove his shirt. “Making me all heated like that… Shame on you. Especially when you’re not breaking a sweat.” She teased, running her hands through his hair again. He grinned. “That was the aim.” Niall kissed her neck, pushing her back down onto the sofa. He shifted himself so that his hips nestled between hers. His hand rubbed her wetted underwear, being sure to stroke around her core, driving her insane. She pulled at his hair. “Niall please… please…” She begged, pressing her head back into the cusion. He laughed, and slid down her small body until his head was between her thighs. She was beautifully curved, with the perfect amount of weight on her hips and legs. “God you’re hot…” He said against her. She moaned and lifted her hips impatiently, unable to find any other words. “Niall please… Oh my God…” She pleaded with him, her eyes closed tightly. Niall removed her underwear, leaving her completely naked. He took in her beautiful form for a moment before kissing gently around her womanhood. He dipped his tongue into her and licked slowly at first, making it so that he covered her entire entrance. “Ah! Mmh!” (Y/n) bit down harshly on her lip as she felt Pyro slip a finger into her. The sudden pleasure made her head spin. As he began to pump his hand into her, he lifted himself back over her, and pressed their lips together. She moaned against him, unable to speak. His pace quickened a bit, pushing her closer to her peak. “Oh my God… Oh my God… Niall! Niall! I’m gonna cum…” She began to moan with a ferocity. He went harder until stopping suddenly, leaving her gasping. She struggled to keep her breath steady, only able to question him by biting at his lips. He smiled. “I’ve never seen you like this… I love it.” He said. “So vulnerable.” “Sh… Shut up… Asshole…” She sighed out heavily, and pushed her hips into his. He stood up to remove his pants and boxers, revealing his bare erection. (Y/n) gasped inwardly at his size. He was bigger than she had expected. Sitting up, she reached out and took him in her hand, leaning forward to place her lips around him, but she was stopped by a hand on her chin. Niall pulled her eyes to his. “Not now… I can’t wait any longer.” He spoke gruffly. She nodded and lay back down, watching as he pushed himself between her legs once again. She rutted her hips upward, rubbing her core against his length. He groaned and took a sharp breath at the sensation. “Oohh fuck…” He growled and stroked himself against her wet lips. “Please Niall…” She begged again gripping the couch. With a painfully slow action, he began to press his head into her tight entrance. Her muscles tensed around him as he pushed in inch by inch. “Holy shit, (Y/n)…” He gasped, and looked up into her bright (e/c) eyes. His breath quickened abruptly as she bucked her hips into him. His lip curled slightly as he tried his hardest not to slam into her. His teeth dug into her shoulder, both of them beginning to pick up their pace. Her nails dug into his shoulders. Their bodies rocked together with a mix of skin against skin and horny moans. He thrust into her with a frustrated strength, pressing her into the couch with each movement. “Oohh fuck… fuck… (Y/n)…” His groans grew more feverish as he got closer and closer to his release. “Mhm! Shit! Niall!” She moaned out, rocking her hips along with his, pushing his full length into her. “I’m cumming! Niall!” “Me… too…” Niall gasped, his thrusts growing quicker and more ravenous. Her moans filled his apartment as she began to climax. Niall put a hand over her mouth and muffled her screams. He pushed her to her release before pulling out and stroking himself to his own. He came on her stomach, breathing heavily. All the muscles in his body flexed. “Fuck!” He snarled.

(Y/n) stared up at Niall with tired eyes, and smiled. “You ass.” She sat up and smacked him on the chest. He grinned back and stood to grab a towel to help her clean off. “Sorry ‘bout that.” He snarked. “No you’re not.” She giggled, kissing his shoulder as he wiped her stomach clean. “You’re right, I’m not.” Niall winked and kissed her passionately. She lay back down on the couch and picked his hoodie off the floor to cover herself with. He returned to see her half asleep in his jacket. With a soft smile, he lay down next to her and pulled her to his chest. She grinned in return and snuggled closer. Just as they both got comfortable, the oven let out a loud beep, signaling that their food was done. Niall grumbled, and tightened his grip around (Y/n). “Hey, they were your idea…” She mumbled into his chest. “You’re the one who’s hungry.” He refuted. “Go check the damn oven.” “Fine… But I’m not happy about it.” He sighed and got up from the couch. “Love you.” “Whatever.”