#this self-indulgent silly thing to have a laugh & cry about

[sarumint]

pop!

[closetcasefabray]

@snowandwolves wanted a stoned ava talking to bea convo with this (us) college au i have in my head and 57295 notes and 12 misc tumblr posts.

(also will need to adjust alphabet city bc that’s like some 80s & 90s shit. definitely can’t afford that neighborhood. people can’t even afford bushwick now lol.)

it’ll happen some day. i managed to write 1 (one) chapter before my dinosaur laptop was like… dead dead. if someone wants to send me money for a functioning laptop and be my sugar momma hmu 😂

[scribere-flores]

Sabo x Reader

~Just as a hypothetical question~

Part 5. Other Parts Word count: 3,8k words Short summary: Reader is preparing her escape, slowly losing it over her confusing feelings. Sabo is in his stalker era. AN: Dear God, I don't know what took over me when writing this. Let me begin with saying I don't condone stalking irl, this is just a silly self-indulgent fic. There is also mentions of a knife at one point, more as a joke, but it's there. Still nothing graphic. Smut will come in the next one, which will also be the last part. Thank you for reading!💕

MDNI 18+

(This man is way too pretty for his own good)

___

Almost three days had passed since Y/N became aware of Sabo’s true identity. And of the real threat he posed to her. He was dangerous, not just because he probably could crush her windpipe with little to no effort.

No, the real reason Sabo was so dangerous was because of his goddamn charm. Always helpful, always making her flustered. Always making her laugh against her will. It was still impossible for her to keep it together when she was near him.

He was playing a sick, sadistic game with her feelings. He wanted to kill her for god sake! And, even though those horrid facts were clear to her, Y/N’s heart still wanted to jump out of her chest every time she saw him.

And that was probably saying more about how messed up she was. Desperately clinging to the first person that ever showed her concern, even though she knew it was fake. Pathetic.

She kept having this one recurring dream. Being alone in a dark room, until the door suddenly opens, and Sabo walks with a smug grin on his face.

He stands behind her, places her wrists behind her back, and then proceeds to let his hands travel all over her body. Cold leather from his gloves caressing her skin as he presses soft kisses down her neck and back.

His movements growing more impatient as he takes a strong grip around her hair, pulling her against him. Then, just before the dream ends, his other hand snakes around her neck, cutting the air from entering her lungs.

And it excites her! Y/N always wakes up feeling hot and tingly after that dream, which means that something must be seriously wrong with her.

The man wants to kill her and she gets excited by the thought of him choking her?! That can’t be normal, it just can’t.

Besides her internal crises that she still had the hots for her future potential murderer, everything else was going as planned. 

After spending a half-day crying over the fact that the handsome, cruel man had tricked her just for his own pleasure, Y/N finally pulled herself together and started planning her escape. She was not willingly staying in this cursed base just to later be dragged to the execution stand.

So she had made a list, things she needed to secure her safety once she left. All the things she had spent the last few days gathering. Things that now were securely kept in a bag in her closet. 

She had also visited the small library more than once, reading every book on wilderness survival she could find. Memorizing pictures of what plants were safe to eat and which ones she should avoid. It wouldn’t exactly be ideal if she ran away from torture and her own murder, just to then die of food poisoning.

Y/N had done all these things, and she was painfully aware of the fact that she had been watched. 

Sabo was always near, following her like some curious cat, trying to figure out what the mouse he was hunting was doing. She was the mouse in this scenario, and it was starting to get on her last nerve. 

He looked amused the entire time too, huge grin on his face, probably getting some twisted sense of pleasure from watching her from afar. It was annoying, and Y/N was pretty sure stalking counted as a crime. But so was trying to overthrow the World Government, so Sabo might just not care that he was breaking the law.

It didn’t matter anyways, she had already gathered everything she needed and her planned escape was happening tomorrow.

She was currently pacing back and forth in her room, trying to figure out if she had forgotten about something. 

Who was she kidding, she most definitely had.

She hadn’t stepped foot outside the castle gates her entire life before two weeks ago, and now she was planning to survive out in the wilderness all by herself. It was a recipe for disaster.

But if the choice was between dying of hypothermia in freedom, or in the hands of the Revolutionary Army and her handsome tormentor, Y/N would choose freezing cold freedom everyday of the week.

Suddenly, her dark thoughts were interrupted by a knock on her door.

“Jane Doe, you in there?” An obnoxious, honey-sweet voice could be heard on the other side.

Hate that stupid nickname.

He seriously needed to stop doing this. For the last couple of mornings, at the same time everyday, Sabo had knocked on her door, asking if she was there.

And Y/N never answered, pretending that she wasn’t in the room. He usually stayed outside for a few minutes before he left, which was probably going to be the case today too.

She heard Sabo let out a deep sigh.

“I don’t know if you’re there, but I’m coming in.” He stated, like he wasn’t about to invade the last personal space she had at this godforsaken base.

Goddamnit… She had locked the door, right?  

No, this wasn’t the time to take any chances, she needed to hide. Who knew what god awful thing he would do to her if he found her.

Y/N quickly scanned the room for a hiding spot. Under the bed was too obvious, even she knew that. As her eyes landed on the small built-in closet, she heard the doorknob starting to turn. She didn’t have the time to be picky, she needed to hide, now!

Just as she had slid the closet shut, the bedroom door flew open. The small wooden planks of the closet door barely gave her any vision of the room, but the gap was wide enough to see Sabo mindlessly walk in. Not a care in the world, like he belonged in there.

‘He wishes.’ Y/N thought as she rolled her eyes.

Then she noticed that he was looking at the closet, straight at her, with a serious look that spelled nothing but trouble. She could swear that her heart was trying to crack her ribcage open by how hard it was beating.

She put her hands over her mouth, careful to not make a sound, as Sabo’s eyes lingered on her hiding spot for a few more seconds. Then an amused grin spread over his face, before he turned around and started to look around her room.

Dear God, that had been a close call.

“Are you hiding from me, Angel?” Sabo chuckled, bending down to look under the bed.

Since his blatant fake confession he had called her that from time to time. Some new way to play tricks on her mind for sure. And Y/N always berated herself when she heard it, because it made her stupid heart flutter every time.

Seriously, what was wrong with her?

Besides studying up on how to survive on her own, she had read a few books on psychology during her visits to the library. In those she had learned about this thing called *Stockholm Syndrome*, basically when a captive believes they are in love with their capturer. 

And Y/N had let out a sigh of relief when she read that. It explained every warm feeling she had for the man that she was 95% sure wanted to chop her head off in front of a crowd. The other 5%, well… that was the dumb sliver of hope that still lingered in the back of her mind. 

A sliver of hope that she consciously ignored. She wasn’t in her right mind, she had been manipulated by that handsome devil, and the strange thoughts she had about him couldn’t be trusted.

She had to stick to what she knew, and that was that Revolutionaries hated Nobles with a burning passion. At least, that had to be the case when the revolutionary in question was their Second in Command.

The closet walls were starting to feel cramped as she continued to watch Sabo mindlessly prance around her bedroom. He picked up her pillow, brought it to his face and let out a low groan as he took a deep inhale through his nose, making Y/N really question the man’s sanity. Was he trying to memorize her scent in case he had to hunt her down? 

What was he? A goddamn bloodhound or something?

She let out a quiet scoff when he put the pillow back, seeing a satisfied look on his face. She shouldn't have done that.

His eyes zeroed in on her again, a wicked smile spreading over his lips, making Y/N forget how to breathe. 

A shiver went down her spine as she watched Sabo move closer, stopping right outside the closet. He was so close she could feel him towering over her through the door. 

“Are you in here, Angel? Please answer if you are.” 

Dear God, please don’t open it.

Someone was apparently listening to her prayer, since he abruptly turned around, when Y/N was just seconds from passing out due to the lack of air in her lungs.

“Bummer, guess she’s not here then.” Sabo said in a monotone voice, putting his hand to his cheek in a dramatic manner.

He started to walk towards the door. She couldn’t believe it, she was actually going to get through this without being found.

Then, Sabo stopped in the middle of his step, right as he walked by her dresser. He carefully opened the top draw, which wasn’t good. That wasn’t good at all.

“Hmm… I might as well since I’m already here.” He snickered as he took something out and stuffed it in his pocket, quickly leaving the room right after.

As soon as the bedroom door closed, Y/N fell out of the closet and landed on the floor. Too shocked from what she just had witnessed.

“Did- did he just steal my underwear?” She whispered to herself, as she felt a warm flush spread over her face.

Was Sabo a pervert?

Because that would explain sooo much. She laid on the floor, pondering on her theory for a few moments, before she rolled over on her back and let out a weird, nervous laugh.

“Yes, definitely a pervert… Just gonna add that to the list of reasons why he needs to be avoided at all cost.” Y/N concluded, questioning how she had gotten herself in this situation to begin with.

___

So fucking angelic.

There was no other way of describing her. Even though she had actively been avoiding him for the past few days and making him watch her from afar. 

But Sabo could forgive that. She was obviously planning something, and the most optimistic part of himself had convinced him that it was going to be a surprise.

He didn’t know what kind of surprise yet, but he looked forward to it. A little too much in fact.

He had watched his Angel gather all sorts of things, swiping snacks from the pantry when she thought no one was looking. Snatching blankets and other fabrics from the laundry, candles and matches from the storage. 

All things that were needed for a romantic date. 

Sabo still wasn’t sure why she needed all the tools she stole from the supply closet, nor did he understand what she was going to use a tarp for.

But he almost lost his shit yesterday when he saw her sneak a rope into her bag. If his, quite frankly, dirty mind was right and she wanted him to tie her up with it, he might have to marry her on the spot. 

The knife however, that was still a bit concerning… But hey, he was willing to try out whatever she had in mind at least once.

No matter what she was doing, these past few days had convinced him.

She had continued to play their little game, even though the rules had changed a bit. AND, she was planning a romantic surprise for him. That girl understood him so well.

She liked him, maybe just as much as he liked her, if that even was possible.

Sabo knew his obsession was starting to get a little out of hand. Or in all honesty, “a little” would be an understatement. 

He knew that what he was doing wasn’t exactly normal. Watching her go about her day, keeping tabs on where she was, at what time in the morning she was leaving her bedroom and when she usually returned. Putting it in a more brutal way, he was stalking her.

God- that girl brought out dark things in him he wasn’t even aware were there before. Last night he spent at least two hours convincing himself that, sneaking into her room through her window while she was sleeping, wasn’t a good idea. 

It wasn’t, he knew that. No matter how much that girl had messed with his moral compass, he knew that it would be crossing a line.

But he just wanted to hear the sweet voice he had been deprived of hearing for the last few days, even if it was her yelling at him to get out.

That’s why he went to see her this morning, to talk to her. Not about anything special, he just wanted to see her pretty mouth move, until his mind was filled with nothing but the sweet sound of her voice.

Sabo knew she had been in there, observation haki really becoming handy in these kinds of situations. But she hid in her closet when he stepped into her room.

And if she wanted to play Hide and Seek, who was he to deprive her of that fun? 

Plus, he had gotten a little prize for playing along.

Still, things had started to become a little boring for him.

At first, it had been exciting seeing her turn a corner every time he was near. Watching her look over her shoulder to see if he was there. It was twisted- but fuck- just knowing she was constantly thinking about him brought him so much joy.

Even if she was doing it in an attempt to avoid him, Sabo couldn’t be mad about it. She was obviously still trying to muster up the courage to face him after his blatant confession.

It was cute.

He had imagined her confessing her feelings for him so many times at this point. Nervous stutters leaving her mouth, a flustered blush spreading over her face.

God- Just the thought made him want to do unspeakable things to that poor girl. 

And in any normal case, Sabo was nothing but patient. With her however, not so much. 

Like previously stated, watching her had been fun for a while. But he was done with just watching now, he wanted to be with her. Being close to her, talking to her, teasing her. Seeing her smile, laugh or just resting peacefully on his chest.

So, at this moment he was in the library, hiding behind a bookshelf and going over his options on how to best approach her.

Jane Doe was sitting at a table a bit further away, reading a book in peace. Looking absolutely angelic.

Besides the two of them, the rest of the room was empty. And dammit, if there hadn’t been so many unresolved issues that needed to be sorted out first, he would probably pin her to that table right this moment.

Hitching that cute, little skirt up over her hips as he left kisses up and down her gorgeous legs. Teasing her to the brink of insanity until she begged him to touch her. Eating her out like a man starved for food-

Yeah, that was definitely not happening yet.

The second best option was to go over there, trying to make her flustered enough to at least blush. Which shouldn’t be too hard to achieve.

So Sabo did just that, walking over with a statement that was suggestive enough in mind. He stopped right behind her chair, bending down close to her ear, feeling a bit amused when he saw her flinch.

“You know, I had this dream last night- and fuck- your hands felt so soft against my skin. Like an Angel touching my very soul.” He said in a low voice, blowing a puff of hot air against her neck.

It was true, he really dreamt that last night. He had been kinda pissed off when he woke, not wanting the wonderful dream to end.

And he knew how much his little nickname affected her, she was so bad at hiding her true feelings.

“Dear God, why?” The girl asked under her breath, making Sabo chuckle as he walked over to the other side of the table, sitting down across from her.

“Why? Cause you’re cute, and funny, and ignoring me. So you’re obviously my type.” He stated, watching her mindlessly turn to the next page in her book.

“I’m sorry, what were you saying?” She answered, looking up at him for the first time.

“Perfect.” Sabo sighed, getting completely lost in her eyes.

He barely had the chance to catch the pretty blush that spread over her face, before she turned her head down.

But it was there, he saw it, and it made his chest fill with pride. No matter how hard she tried to ignore him, he could still make her flustered anytime he wanted to.

“Are you bothered by me being here?” He asked, giving her a teasing smile.

“Yes. I want to be alone.” She said curtly in response, not paying him more attention than necessary.

It was selfish, and probably a bit dumb. But Sabo wanted her attention to be on him, and not on some stupid book. What was so interesting about it anyways, for her to not look at him? He was way more interesting-

God, he really needed to seek professional help, didn't he? He was jealous over a fucking book.

“What are you reading anyway?” He scoffed, failing to keep his displeasure in.

“None of your business.” She snapped back, voice deprived of any warmth.

Shit, was she annoyed? That couldn’t be good…

“Why are you so snappy today?” Sabo asked, needing to know if all of it was just in his head.

“I’m not.” She bit out, jaw visibly clenching. 

If it was one thing Sabo took pride in, it was that he was good at reading people. But not this girl apparently, making her an exception in yet another way. 

He must have fucked up big during the last couple of days for her to be this mad with him. Was it the stalking? Had he taken it too far? 

“Yes you are. Did I do something to make you upset? I’ll try to fix it if you tell me.” He said, trying to reach for her hand, but she quickly moved it away.

“I said I’m not. Just drop it.” 

Was this their first fight? 

Sabo might not have been in any real long term relationship before, but he wanted this to work. He needed this to work, because he wasn’t sure if he could recover from being rejected by her. 

He knew that communication was important in any healthy relationship, so her avoiding the topic wasn’t going to cut it.

“I will drop it, if you tell me what’s wrong. I don’t want you to be angry at me and-”

“Can you just back the fuck off and leave me alone?” She said with an irritated tone, looking up at him with fire in her eyes.

Oh fuck, she’s mad mad.

She swore… she actually swore. That was a word Sabo thought he never would hear leave his Angel's beautiful mouth.

Was this about the underwear? He knew she had been hiding in the closet when he “borrowed” them, but he didn’t think she would be this angry about it.

“Is this about what I took from your room? Because I was going to give-”

“IT’S NOT ABOUT THE FUCKING UNDERWEAR!”

“Okay, so I must have done something else then… I'm sorry?” He said, feeling his heart sink to his stomach.

She didn’t say anything more. She just let out a frustrated groan as she slammed the book shut, leaving it on the table and walked away. Leaving him alone with nothing but his own thoughts.

Goddamnit!

He messed up, this was not how he wanted things to go. Had he been wrong the entire time? Had she actually been mad at him, and was that the reason she avoided him to begin with? Had they not just been playing their usual silly game?

Fuck, maybe had he come on too strong three days ago. He did choke her, so it wouldn’t be surprising if that was the reason. But she said she liked it, right?

Sabo was about to go crazy, trying to figure out what he did wrong, when his eyes landed on the green cover of the book she had been reading.

He picked it up, curiosity getting the better of him.

“ *Outdoor Survival for Beginners*- what the actual?” He flipped through the pages, as something clicked in his brain. “Shit-”

Jane Doe was planning on running away…

It all made sense now. Why she avoided him, why she had gathered all those different things. Why she had been so defensive just moments ago.

(Why she hadn’t told him she liked him too.)

She was leaving, and she didn’t want anything left behind. It made sense, he would do the same thing if he knew he was leaving. It was plain cruel to confess your feelings to someone, just to be gone a few days later.

That’s why he had confessed to her. He wasn’t exactly planning on leaving her anytime soon, and he wanted her to know that.

Still, the only thing that didn’t make sense was her reason. Why would she want to run away?

She liked it here, Sabo saw how happy she looked whenever she helped around the base. How well she got along with Koala. How peaceful she had looked that morning when she slept on his chest.

In fact, why was she even hiding her identity to begin with? He hadn’t thought about it more than in passing, his mind usually being too preoccupied with holding his urges back around her.

Something wasn’t right…

“I might have to speed some things up.” Determination took over him.

Her plan was batshit crazy to begin with. She couldn’t even cook, how the fuck was she going to survive alone in the woods? She would die, hungry, freezing and alone, within a couple of days.

Sabo couldn’t stand the thought of losing someone he cared for again. Not after Ace-

No. This wasn’t the time to dwell on that. 

He had a few very urgent house calls to make.

___

Tag list: @nymeriiiia

[gojosnympho]

thique - s.mg

pairing: mingi x black!fem!reader

genre: smut, fluff, non-idol!au

word count: 3.1k

content warnings: established relationship, a lot of talk about healthy weight gain, body worship, pet names, mirror sex, teasing, dirty talk, daddy kink, unprotected sex (don’t), creampie, praise (fem receiving), reader has a nose piercing, multiple orgasms, they’re really in love it’s kinda gross

synopsis: after being away for a month mingi comes home to his girlfriend and shows her just how much he missed her.

playlist: THIQUE - beyoncé, body - megan thee stallion

author’s note: i’m kind of a genius for this idk! and this is also very self indulgent. enjoy! 🥰

mingi. he’d been gone for a month. he was away visiting his family in korea and in his absence, you’d been eating to try to forget that he was so far away. calls and texts and facetimes were only so efficient. there was nothing compared to having him in your arms, his big frame basically swallowing yours. you missed him. the apartment was so lonely without him. it felt so dull and not bright like it felt when he was in it. you felt so silly that him being gone affected you this much but mingi was the love of your life. you hated being away from him.

you came home from work that evening once again to a quiet, lonely apartment. with an exasperated sigh you kicked off your shoes and trudged upstairs to the bathroom to wash off your very long day. the shower water was hot and steamed filled the bathroom to the brim. lately this was the closest thing you had to a hug. maybe you should get a pet for times like these. you turned off the shower, stepping out to wrap a towel tightly around your body. skincare and slipping your pajamas on followed after. now downstairs, you rummaged through the kitchen to find something to eat while you retreated to your couch to end your night watching a movie you’d seen a hundred times. you decided on a tub of your favorite ice cream. you walked the few steps from the kitchen to the living room and plopped down on the couch, another exasperated sigh leaving your lips.

you popped the top off of the ice cream and began eating as you absentmindedly watched the movie. you missed that man so much you couldn’t even enjoy it.

“i’m gonna call him.” you said to yourself, picking up your phone from where it layed on the couch. just as you were about to press his contact, the sound of keys unlocking the door damn near startled you, until you remembered that the only other person who has keys is… mingi.

you hopped up from the couch and raced to the door to greet him, your bare feet slapping against the cold hardwood floors. the door opened and there he stood, looking so fine in his glasses and sweatsuit. he’d dyed his hair a new color since he’s been gone, you noticed. you didn’t even let him put his bags down before you all but pounced on him, wrapping your body around his. he laughed, dropping his bags in the doorway and hugging you back as tightly as he could.

“why didn’t you tell me you were on your way back?!” you asked him, face buried in his chest. you’d felt like crying but you fought the urge, swallowing the lump that had formed in your throat.

“i wanted to surprise you. are you surprised?” he asked you. his deep voice flooded your body with contentment.

“yes.” you nodded, face still buried in his chest. you didn’t want to let him go, not even for a second. afraid that if you did he’d leave again.

you had to though so he could step inside the apartment. he pulled his bags inside and shut and locked the door behind him. he pulled you in for another hug. you smelled so good, like cocoa butter and vanilla. he missed your scent just as much as you missed his. mingi placed a soft and slow kiss on your lips. you’d almost forgotten what his lips felt like against yours.

“you taste sweet.” he pointed out after you pulled away from the kiss.

“ice cream.” you explained simply. “god, i missed you so much.” that lump in your throat forming once again.

“i missed you too, princess.”

you stayed in each other’s embrace for a while longer, enjoying the closeness after being away from each other for a month. mingi was the one to pull away first but not before giving you a kiss on the top of your head. mingi was about to head upstairs to put his things away until he noticed the way you’d filled out since he’s been gone.

“wait,” he began, dropping his bags again. “let me look at you.”

“what’s wrong?” you asked him. his eyes trailed up and down your body. they were no longer full of love and affection but now lust and hunger. you felt goosebumps arise on your skin.

“you gained weight.” he pointed out and you looked down at yourself. you hadn’t noticed but you guessed that with all of the food you’d been engorging in while he was gone was the reason. you opened your mouth to speak but he beat you to it, “you look good. nice and healthy and thick.”

“i was eating a lot.” you explained to him. he was closer to you now, that hungry look still in his eyes. “you look like you’re gonna eat me.” you said.

“i might.”

“mingi.”

“you don’t understand, baby girl. i haven’t seen you or been inside you in over a month.” he walked closer to you, instinctively you backed up. he continued, “and the first thing i see when i get home is you, thicker than i’ve ever seen you. and you expect me not to want to eat you.”

“mingi.” you repeated

“then you have on these little ass shorts.” he had you backed against the wall now. you were trapped in the best way possible. he hooked his finger in the elastic band of your sleep shorts and then let it snap against your skin, but not hard enough to hurt you. just enough for you to feel the light sting. “and this little ass tank top.”

“i didn’t even know you were coming.” your voice came out as nothing but a whisper.

“oh, so you’ve been walking around in these little clothes while i’ve been gone and you didn’t send me pictures? that’s selfish, princess.”

“i’m an in person event only.”

mingi laughed at your cuteness but soon he was looking at you with that same intense stare.

“really though, baby girl. you look so fucking good. i need to touch you and fuck you right now. can i?” what a gentleman, asking before he blows your back out and gives you a limp for the next two days.

“please.”

mingi insisted on fucking you in the mirror, he wanted both of you to admire your new body. so that’s where you were. you started on the ground in front of the full body mirror you kept in the corner of your room. you sat between his legs as he caressed your body. his large hands handled you with the gentlest of care, drawing moans from your lips when he rubbed your breasts over the thin fabric of your white tank top or when he rubbed your thighs getting dangerously close to your needy pussy.

“mingi, please.” you whined, looking at him through the mirror.

“uhn uhn.” he tutted. “first you gotta look at yourself.”

“i look at myself everyday, song mingi.”

“do what i say or i’m not giving you what you want.”

you looked at yourself, per his request. you stared at yourself in the mirror while he did the same. you really hadn’t noticed the extra weight you’d put on but looking at yourself now and the way your body had changed was almost overwhelming. but you liked it. you liked the way you’d filled out since he’s been gone. you liked the way it had mingi acting just a little bit more. he was squeezing and rubbing over every inch of your body, not letting anything go untouched. you felt so beautiful. so loved. that’s why you missed him so much. he never missed an opportunity to make you feel like this.

“you’re the most gorgeous woman on this planet. you’re so perfect. everything about you is perfect. my perfect, perfect girl.”

your heart swelled at his words, “thank you mingi.”

“perfect face.” he used his index finger to gently trace the features of your face. he started with your eyes, complimenting the brown orbs. then your pierced nose, telling you how much he adored it and how cute the dainty, diamond stud is. then your pretty, plump lips, telling you how soft they were and how he loved all the sweet and funny things that slipped past them and how he loved when you covered them in gloss.

his finger trailed down your neck which made you shiver and you relaxed even more into him. he spoke again, “perfect body.” his voice had dropped an octave. his lips so close to your ear you shivered once more at the subtle contact.

“your boobs.” he grabbed one in both hands and squeezed the mounds of flesh. you moaned, squirming against him. you needed more from him. you needed to feel him. mingi wasn’t worried about that yet though. no. his only concern right now was making sure you knew how much he adored you.

“so soft.” he gave them another squeeze. he moved to your belly, “cute little tummy.” he rubbed his large palms over the pudge of your bare stomach. his hands felt so good and his words had you subject to his every whim.

“mingi, please.”

he ignored your pleas and continued his ministrations on your body. your pussy was soaked, the fresh pair of underwear you just put on now ruined thanks to him.

“let’s take these off.” he snapped your shorts against you again. you lifted your hips up and he slid the shorts down your legs and tossed them to the side. he spread your legs wider so both of you could get a peak at the wet patch on your underwear. you blushed at the sight of yourself. “beautiful. you’re so beautiful.”

“thank you, daddy.” you said, a smirk on those plump lips. you heard him moan lowly into your ear.

“stop playing like that or you won’t be walking straight after this.” he said into your ear looking at you through the mirror. you reached behind you to pull his head down towards yours and planted a wet kiss on his lips.

“i’m not playing, daddy.” you whispered. seduction oozed from your voice and went straight to mingi’s already hard dick. he pressed himself against you, so you could feel it. you gasped at the feeling of it, your pussy gushing once again.

“you see how hard you make me, baby girl?” he asked

“then fuck me. please, daddy. i’ve been good.” you grabbed his hand and placed it between your legs. you expected him to pull away but no. he wasted no time rubbing your little pussy over your cotton undies.

“so fucking wet.” he said. his deep voice had goosebumps arising on every surface of your brown skin. you threw your head back on his shoulder while he played with your pussy.

mingi wanted to see you naked, that’s why he started this whole thing in the first place. he pulled his hand from between your legs leaving behind an even bigger wet patch than before. he took off your tank top first and groaned at the sight of your breasts. he reached in front of you to toy with your nipples until they were pebbled and until you were squirming against him. he took off your panties next both of you moaning at the way your pussy was connected to them by strings of arousal.

“pretty pussy.” he said pushing your thighs apart. your pussy was on display, you could see the way your little hole was clenching helplessly around nothing begging to be filled. “thick thighs.” he squeezed the fat of your thighs in his large hands drawing yet another moan from you.

“want your dick, daddy. please.” you begged him, your cunt clenching once more at just the thought of him filling you up.

mingi, who didn’t wanna keep his baby girl waiting any longer, began to undress himself behind you. he slipped his hoodie off and then his sweats and boxers. when he settled behind you again he pulled you into his lap. you felt his dick poking you in the back while he kissed and nipped on your neck. no doubt leaving marks behind you’d have to work like hell to cover.

“ready?” he asked you rubbing his head through your folds. you nodded and mingi helped you sink down onto him until he was fully inside of you. you stood still for a moment trying to get your foggy brain to clear up. he felt so good inside of you, he always did. he started moving but slowly so you could adjust to him.

“so full, daddy.”

“i’m gonna speed up now, yeah?”

you nodded at him. he began to move faster, holding your thighs open so he could get a good look at the way your pussy swallowed his dick in the mirror. he could see the way your arousal formed a white ring around the base of his dick. he watched the way your body jiggled and gyrated every time he pounded into you. he moved his hands from your thighs and trailed them up your body to squeeze your tits in his large hands.

“did you miss me fucking you like this every night?” mingi asked, still fucking into you without faltering.

“so bad.” you replied. mingi chuckled at you before leaving a sweet kiss on your neck. “i wanna ride you.” you told him

mingi stopped moving so you could take over. you turned around so that you and mingi were face to face. you kissed him on his lips before sinking back down onto him, earning a deep moan from him. you wrapped your arms around his neck and began bouncing yourself on his dick. the feeling of his tip hitting your sweet spot had your toes curling. you craned your neck to look at yourself and mingi in the mirror and you swore you could’ve cum right there. it was erotic. the way your hair stuck to your sweaty face and the way his lip was caught between his teeth while he watched you bounce on him.

“love watching you get yourself off on my dick.” he praised you landing a smack on your ass cheek. “does it feel good, baby girl?”

“feels s’ good, daddy.” you said still working yourself on his dick, chasing after your orgasm.

“yeah? feels good using me to make that pretty pussy cum?” you moaned at his words, your walls fluttering around his length.

you continued to bounce on him. the more you did the more your brain fogged up. mingi started to move his hips again to help you cum faster. he reached between your bodies to rub circles into your clit and you moaned tangling your fingers in his hair. you felt that tug in your belly indicating you were nearing your orgasm. so you sped up the movements of your hips, ignoring the ache in your muscles. you were too lost in the pleasure to care. mingi began pounding into you even harder pulling your body down with every thrust. you cried out, digging your nails into his shoulders and pressing your sweaty forehead against his.

“fuck me just like that, daddy.” you mumbled almost incoherently but mingi understood you. he always did. your eyes were closed in pure bliss as you felt your orgasm come closer and closer. “i’m so close, please don’t stop daddy. please.”

“i’m not stopping until you cum all over my dick don’t worry.” mingi said

mingi looked in the mirror once more to watch the way you rode him. the way your ass jiggled with every movement. he saw the way your juices dripped down his balls and on the ground beneath you. the sight made him twitch inside of you also close to cumming, but he had to make sure you came first. mingi kept thrusting into you until he felt your tight pussy squeeze around him.

“are you gonna cum, baby girl?” he asked

“yes, daddy! fuck yes!” you screamed. “i’m cumming, mingi!” your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you creamed around his dick and gripped him like a vice. your orgasm had mingi’s about to tip over the edge.

“where do you want it?” he asked you

“inside me, please. i wanna feel you.” you whispered.

“shit.” mingi said through clenched teeth right before he spilled inside of you, painting your walls with his cum. you kissed him before dropping your head on his shoulder while you caught your breath.

“i don’t think i can feel my legs.” you said and mingi chuckled pecking you on the cheek.

“i’m sorry baby. we can take a bath together.”

“nuh uhn. we can do that later. i wanna go again.” you said grinding your hips down on him.

“i thought you said you couldn’t feel your legs?” he asked but ultimately assisted you with grinding on him, his dick hardening inside of you again.

“i’m a big girl. i can take it.”

you ended up on the bed this time, with you on your back and mingi between your legs. he rubbed himself through your folds both of you hissing from overstimulation. he pushed inside of you and immediately set a steady pace. you wrapped your legs around his waist to ensure he couldn’t pull all the way out of you. soon mingi was laid flat on top of you while he fucked his first load of cum deep into your pussy. you felt your second orgasm stir in your belly. mingi continued rutting into you until he felt his second orgasm creep up on him too.

“let’s cum together this time.” he said, peppering kisses on your neck and collarbones.

“okay.” you agreed with a dopey smile. mingi picked up his pace, fucking into you harder and harder until you were both dangerously close to cumming. he interlocked his fingers with yours as you both came together. your essence coating his dick and his essence filling you up.

he stayed on top of you, while your breathing returned to normal and he softened inside of you. but before he could pull out you locked your ankles together so he couldn’t move.

“stay inside for a little while please.” you pouted giving him those puppy dog eyes he could never say no to.

he laid back on top of you and planted another kiss on your lips, “i love you. ya know that?”

“oh i know. you just showed me. i’ll keep gaining weight if you’re gonna fuck me like this.” you said making mingi laugh. “and i love you too.”

[mono-dot-jpeg]

stop playing league - k. kenma

summary; a callout to me and my fellow league players. (not league enjoyers. players.)

genre/extra tags; one shot(?)/drabble, fluff, comedy, slight crack, kenma (kind of) slanders riot games and you, relationship unestablished and unmentioned, if you know the games cool (i hate valorant), self indulgent

[can be interpreted as romantic or platonic] [gender never mentioned] [i make many references to different games and use game terms, sorry]

word count; 489

a/n; no one except for league players can make fun of league in this post now, i make the rules and enforce them. (/hj) you ever think abt the difference between making fun of your favorite things and someone else doing it? yeah it's like that basically. i genuinely like the characters league has to offer, but people always think i like the game. (i play it but i usually end up hating most sessions)

"don't you dare hit that button."

your cursor hovers over the fated "find match" button. the button that has been torturing you for at least a few hours now. your dying urge to play "one more game" has you in a chokehold when you just want to win once.

"kenma..." you whine. the pudding head is playing a much more chill game compared to yours, which was slime rancher. it was a little bit nerve-wracking with how easily he almost slipped off ledges, deal with the occasional tarr slime, or the adorably angry slimes in certain paths. but nonetheless, it's a much healthier game to play than league. "it's not like i can even play slime rancher with you, it's not multi-player. just let me have this. i'm gonna win this time. surely. i'll switch to val after this, promise."

"you still won't be playing with me because i don't play valorant." you can imagine his cat-like glare staring at you through the screen. "and you rarely play tft and legends of runeterra."

"it gets me dizzy, alright?! and also you should know how painful it is to get those annoying people who hold my three stars from me!" you pause when he mentions the card game, "the card game isn't that bad. just not my favorite. what about overwatch?"

"isn't the new hog rework annoying?"

"that's... it's something. what about plate up?"

"you're gonna rage."

"stardew?"

"you're too lazy to update your mods."

"shut the fuck up, actually." you hissed at him as he huffs out a laugh. "i'm waiting for the next update. i think everyone is at this point."

"literally play anything but league for fucks sake, y/n."

"but cute neeko skin.." you pretend to cry, "i just want to play my sillies. maybe even win a game, dare i say." you angrily wave your mouse over your screen. kenma watches your screen share, unamused.

"you spent money on that skin."

"WRONG, I SPENT MONEY ON ONE OVERWATCH SKIN AND TWO BATTLEPASSES."

"still spent money."

"that's a lot of backtalk coming from you. you buy skins and dlc too. you're not clean either." despite kenma trying to prolong the inevitable, you click "find match" and sit back and wait as kenma groans in annoyance. "your signs can't stop me because i can't read." you read the burst of notifications in discord of kenma and your friends making fun of you for even playing league willingly. "fuck y'all. god forbid, i have a hobby." you huffed.

"it's league."

"just let me play my silly champions in peace, kenma! you don't see me judging you for picking sebastian every stardew save!"

"he's not even that bad!"

"you always steal him from me!"

"you don't deserve him!"

"fuck you!"

"fuck you!"

a blanket of silence falls over you both as you end your silly bickering.

"you wanna play a pokemon soul link run after your match?"

"fuck you, yeah i do."

[lilyrizzy]

something silly & self indulgent, set in the verse of 'in that iron ground.'

cw: parental death mention

“Daniel?” His mum says, her voice airy with the echo of laughter. “What a nice surprise.”

There’s no trace of concern in her voice, though it’s 4 AM in Rotterdam right now, something she must know. Or at least have known once upon a time. Too early for a casual catch-up.

It’s strange to be faced with the different ways his dad’s death affected them all. His mum can be fearless answering the phone, but Daniel’s palms still sweat whenever he sees his light up with the notification that her or Michelle is calling. Stranger still, maybe, that this is still something he thinks about whenever he speaks to his family on the phone.

“Sorry, you sound busy,” he apologises, but even as he says it, staring out at the inky black night, he hears the noise of background chatter recede. His mum’s muffled voice as she makes her excuses to step outside of whatever room she’s in, all the way across the world.

“No, no, Tim and I just have some friends over for our breakfast club, but I’m never too busy for you,” she says easily enough, back to talking to him now. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah Mama,” he promises, nodding though she can’t see him, “everything is- It’s good. Just wanted to hear your voice.”

There’s a pause, where he thinks she might call him out on the strangeness of the hour, but then-

“Not too long till Christmas now, darling.” 

They fall into the easy routine of catching each other up, their familiar dance perfected through more years spent living apart than together now. It’s mostly her speaking to start with, like she knows he needs it to ease himself in. He hears all about Isaac’s new job, and Izzy’s new baby. Stuff he already knows from Michelle, mostly, that he can just hum along to. The last thing is how the cold is finally ebbing from the earth long enough for her to think she can plant some new bulbs soon in her garden.

“And what’s new with you?” She prompts, enough of a tone in her voice for Daniel to know that if he could see her, he’d be getting that pointed look right about now.

Come on young man, tell your mama.

Time’s up.

“We dropped Milly at uni earlier,” he admits after a moment but then doesn’t say anything else, letting it settle between them.

“Oh,” his mum says, something knowing in her voice, and if Daniel stays as an attuned parent to Emilia, despite the new distance between them, he’ll be happy. “How did Max take it?”

That makes Daniel smile at least, looking over his shoulder towards their bedroom, though he knows he won’t be able to see the shape of Max under their duvet through the blinds covering the balcony’s glass door.

His mum hums sympathetically.

“Well, he only pretended not to cry for half of the car journey back,” Daniel says with a laugh, though at the time he’d ached watching Max try and fail to stop his bottom lip trembling as they pulled away from the University of Amsterdam’s welcome fair. “Then he gave in and asked me to pull the car over to give him a cuddle.”

“He did tell me he was nervous for her go,” she says, and nervous is the understatement of the fucking century, but her words make a thick kind of love fill his chest. The same feeling he gets when Max says, “Remind me to call your mum tomorrow, I haven’t spoken to her for a little while.” When he walks in on the two of them exchanging new recipes over Facetime.

“Yeah, she’s our baby,“ Daniel says simply, laughing just to ease the words from his throat, “he isn’t taking it so well, but- But you know Max.”

He can say that because she does.

“Poor Max,” she says with a sigh. “And how is my baby taking it?”

Daniel breathes out the breath he’s been holding in since they dropped Emilia off at her accommodation. Max pressing one hundred quick kisses to her head, making her promise to call them tomorrow to tell them all about her ‘lovely new friends’, while she tried desperately to back them out of the door so they couldn’t cramp her style any worse. Since Max touched his knee and looked at him with wet eyes in the car ride home and said, “This of course is for the best,” like he hadn’t also been right there with Daniel, agonizing over her moving a two-hour car journey away.

Nothing really, when you compare it to two planes and twenty-four hours of travel.

“I’m okay,” he says because it’s mostly true. “I just- Fuck, mum, I don’t know how you and Dad did it. Packed me up and let me move to Europe, two years younger than Milly is now.”

His mum hadn’t even cried in the airport, he remembers. She’d just kissed his cheek very hard, his dad hovering behind telling her she’d make Daniel miss his flight, then hugging Daniel afterwards for just as hard, just as long.

“Ah, well,” she says, words half gentle laughter. “This is the hard part. Welcome back to the era of sleepless nights, except this time they aren’t in the next room, needing you.”

He has to close his eyes against the harsh truth of it. The pain he put his parents through, the pain he feels now, it’s all born from too much love.

“Yeah but Milly always needs me,” he insists, laughing wetly, trying and failing to cover the way he is the one crying now. “Who else is going to teach her how to bag all the hot Dutch boys?”

His mum snorts, and for a moment the ache in his chest is soothed by giggles they dissolve into together. “Don’t let Max hear you say that.”

They lapse into a comfortable silence again once the laughter has trailed off, but Daniel still hasn’t said the thing that made him pick up the phone and call. He promised himself standing at his father’s graveside that he wouldn’t let important things so unspoken between them again, but it doesn’t make it easy.

“Thank you,” he eventually croaks, his throat aching with the words. “Mum, thank you for- For letting me go. I wish I could say the same to Dad, I- My daughter is off to study law two hours up the road and I’m a mess, and- And you guys let me move two continents away just to give my dream a try.”

His dream that never came true, not all the way at least, but that Daniel still wouldn’t trade the life he has now for.

“Oh, sweetheart.” His mum’s voice is gentle, and he wishes so badly she was here to give him a hug. “I just did what you are doing now, for Milly. It’s all a part of it. Sophie would tell you the same.”

She probably has already, to Max at least.

“Yeah,” Daniel says, wiping at his eyes and sniffing a little. “I just- I’m going to miss her, I think.”

For the last nineteen years, the bedroom opposite his and Max’s has been five different colours, has seen four different ‘best friends,’ and had posters of athletes, pop stars, Max’s maps and most recently Ruth Bader Ginsburg on the wall, but- But it’s always had his baby girl inside, sleeping in the bed every night.

“Of course, you’ll miss her. You’re a good dad, Daniel.” His mum says it like a promise, her voice cracking down the middle too. “I tell your dad all the time when I go to visit him. How proud of you he would be, my darling.”

[panelshowsource]

could you make a post about all the books from comedians you own/have ordered and which are your favorites I want to buy all of them but don't know where to start ++++++++ would love to know if you know of a way to order a signed copy of David's book if I don't live in the UK

you know, in a stroke of what may be relevant information, i'm actually an editorial director by day and even used to be a literary agent here in nyc — none of which is obvious on account of my billion rushed typos and...just...general existence :) (i promise i'm supremely carefully handed in my editing!!! and have a lot of resources, at my job hahahahaha oh god maybe i shouldn't have mentioned this!!!) — but i'm really no book critic and have no idea how my tastes stack up against what a lot of you are looking for. i'm happy to share some of my general, poorly articulated internet thoughts but it may be more worth checking out goodreads or talking with others who have more experience with autobiographies (which a majority of these types of books are)!

to begin with a disclaimer, one of my friends texted me recently, "why do you only watch sad movies?" i love sad films, sad music, i love to cry, catharsis, sentimentality which is always a little self-indulgent. it's a bit ironic, because this is a comedy blog and you guys know me as someone who loves to find things to laugh about and i fill my life with so much silliness through his huge, life-long hobby, but, all the same, that is only one side of me, i guess. i'm saying this now because you're about to hear me talk briefly about a few somewhat-to-incredibly sad books and be like "oh i didn't know this what i was getting into" 😅

books i do recommend:

just ignore him by alan davies — this isn't a book review but i am self-conscious about just how i describe this book, because it's so sensitive and i carry a lot of respect for alan. at the time of publication, alan actually didn't want any of the press to know and/or discuss the most tragic elements of the book, so readers wouldn't be influenced in any direction before confronting it themselves. (it's okay to talk about now of course, and anyone should know there are major trigger warnings for death, child abuse, sexual abuse, and pedophilia.) it is a sad book about his earliest years: the complexities and nuances of male power and manipulation, of unimaginable loneliness, of a lost child. alan said it wasn't cathartic to write—that is was indeed very painful—but the vulnerability, the commitment to shirking himself of the painful silence he endured for most of his life, is exceptionally moving. alan's writing can be quite thorough, even flowery, in creating vivid places and images, so so much of the heaviness feels piercing and even disturbing. if you read other comedians' books, a decent majority of them are written in the style of standup or, say, a ted talk — with performance in mind, specific structures and beats that mimic how they'd tell these stories on stage. i would argue this is quite different to that, that while the writing is in a style and structure that benefits being read aloud this is a very different alan to alan the performer. and, very honestly, i'm really not an audiobook person, not to mention listening is a wholly different experience to reading — but the audiobook for this is phenomenal: alan narrates and, while of course it's his story so he'll tell it best, he is a very gentle, thoughtful storyteller. this will be you by chapter 4:

moab is my washpot + fry chronicles by stephen fry — the first and second of his three autobiographies covering some of the most sensational times (stephen is willing to admit) of his childhood and teen years + his rise to fame through the cambridge footlights. these are good reads for 1) stephen fry fans duh and 2) people who can enjoy the inspiration of auden, waugh, wilde, wodehouse, quintessential english writers who inform the foundation of stephen's relationship with literature and appreciation. stephen is painfully honest — and often sorry for it, apologising for what he perceives to be his shortcomings — and you can't help but feel, even early on in the first book, that his view of his own world is somehow even more subjective than everyone else's views of their own worlds. maybe it's because he's so judgmental, maybe it's his oscillating mental health, maybe it's the shocking thrust with which he was confronted with the wideness of the world...i'm not sure, but stephen's life through stephen's eyes is so very stephen-y. i think that's why we love him‚ though i can see some people loathing the less admirable sides of him, which he does show, so don't read this if you want to maintain some image of him that helps you cope or keeps you perfectly entertained. if you're not british, the fry chronicles is an especially good read to scratch some of your anglophilic interests (lotsss of namedropping and backstage chat)!

delicacy: a memoir about cake and death by katy wix — one of my recent faves and another book that isn't thoroughly funny. told in 21 vignettes either centered around or vaguely related to cake, katy talks about her school life, grief and loss, self-esteem and body image, misogyny — in ways that are just...matter of fact...opposed to lessons learned or things she's working on through therapy. she's accepted a lot, but she's also afflicted by a lot to this day; she's capably honest about where her reality stands. for this reason, it can be a bleak and certainly very raw read. i listened to the audiobook for this one, which was nice, but i much recommend the actual written book as the vignettes are in different formats (short story prose, letters, email exchanges) that often anchor time and place, intention, even the little peeks of light of comedy. katy's writing is very lovely, both my heart and mind were touched.

back story by david mitchell — a mildly vulnerable, moderately insightful, and quite humorous exploration of david's up-and-coming years. i really appreciate the premise — due a bad back and sciatica, he begins taking very long walks every day, and these walks trigger memories and anecdotes as he passes certain places — that really doesn't come off as a gimmick. it's a very easy read (or listen) and what i'd consider an uncomplicated, unproblematic bio, but it would be difficult to enjoy if you're only a casual fan of david mitchell or only like him in his most recent dad years, as it was written in his peep show heyday and is so much about those years of his life, his relationship with robert webb, etc. a good intro-to-the-genre book and the very first britcom book i read way back in 2010!

i also really enjoy graham norton's books — especially for the goss, but he's a great writer and his debut fiction novel got quite good reviews! — and tim key's books of poetry, though you really need to be a fan of tim key to read tim key :')

books i do not recommend:

before & laughter by jimmy carr — this book is much less of an autobiography (details are scant and anecdotes are few; it's cute when he refers to karoline as "my girl") and much more a collection of 1) jimmy's interpretation of contemporary comedy and what it means to be a comedian, and 2) how that journey, and his evolving attitudes, shaped him + became advice he would offer to others. this is why he calls the book adjacent to self help & motivational speaking. i don't think it teaches you anything new about him — literally or as a writer — so i don't recommend reading it, though the audiobook (where he's truly performing the writing like a ted talk) is an easy listen. a lot of people will not understand that jimmy is overwhelmingly sincere in regards to all of the topics and personal philosophies the jimmy nearing 50 espouses. he's someone with very studied, thorough personal philosophies (if you've seen him on podcasts talking about his life and career then you'll know just what i mean) and he explains them deftly, but they can feel a bit...how should i say this...flat to people who have heard a lot of it before, in hollywood movies or from their own parents or wherever. he didn't write this just for another stream of income — he is passionate about these conversations and that counts for something. overall i already knew a bit about the guy and didn't need this.

my shit life so far by frankie boyle — i have never read one of frankie's fiction novels (crime is really not my thing, so someone needs to let me know if richard osman's book series is a smash because i'm only going to check them out if i'm convinced to), but as a long-time fan of his, knowing how much of a wordsmith he is, and how intentional he is in everything he says, i was surprised by how dull i found this. his shit life was just that — uninteresting, meandering. his anecdotes may have worked better aloud than on paper, but they didn't grab me. you learn a bit about his young adulthood, but like jimmy he's intensely private and i could feel that distance between us even while reading an autobiography. it didn't work for me, super sad about it :(

can everyone please calm down? by mae martin — instead of criticising this book, i'd rather just make a disclaimer or two. if you are already engaged in queer discourses and dialogues, you are not going to learn very much from this book. both the descriptive writing and presentation of research is "accessible" to the point i'd call it more adjacent to YA than adult literature; if you prefer more creative, complicated, and/or signature writing styles, this book is not for you. if you are a big fan of mae martin and would appreciate an overview of their journey on the identity spectrum (going so far as to even rejecting it, in some capacities) in one place, then this may be convenient — but even then, at this point, it's somewhat outdated. imo a well-intention skip.

phil wang and tom allen are two more i think don't convince me with their writing, but i'm still making my ways through a couple of books and could probably talk more about this later!

i have never made this kind of non-fiction bio a priority on my long reading list, so i still have a lot of exploring and catching up to do, but i'm finding that i do prefer the books that explore the events of comedian's past as well as those that walk the reader through experiences in the comedy & tv industries. there are a lot of books about mental health and identity, which may be more of what many of you are looking for (sara pascoe, fern brady, jon richardson, and more).

okaY PHEW SORRY i always type too much 😒

first, as for david mitchell's new book, you can order it signed from waterstones as they ship to the usa — and it's currently half off!!!!! if you want to buy it unsigned from a usa retailer amazon is cheapest and target & bookshop are the cheapest non-amazon options :) an audiobook is coming out as well, so i do believe i will be able to add that to googledrive before too long, but no guarantees on a good time frame!

you can go here to download any of the ebooks & audiobooks i have on my googledrive!

[oranjeleeuw]

fanfiction ideas master list

I will add new ideas to this on the go, and also update on the progress of each story regularly

Catboy streamer girlfriend Charles

Smut, 1-2k words at best, lestappen

Charles is doing game streams but he gets a bit more brave about acting up for the camera

He's still shit at it though

But he has a very supportive donator

It's Max

Charles doesn't know that

He got his cat ear headphones from this donator so he's responding to some commissions of this person

The fic is either description of Charles movements and thoughts or chat comments from twitch CUT description to Max pov

It's something equivalent of phone sex but through stream video/chat commands I guess

this was requested by my bf hfdhj <3

WIP state: only a draft

Toto Wolf uses Roscoe for spying (he fails)

Crack fic, all the teams on the grid mentioned, 1k words probably

Toto has this fantastic idea that Roscoe gets along with every pilot

So the dog can be used for some mischief

He sends the dog out in different silly scenarios to go off and spy on different teams, figuring out their strategies

But since Roscoe can't talk and he's not trained for this, the dog just collects pets

At the end Hamilton takes home his kinda sensory overloaded baby

WIP state: only a draft

My condolences

Lestappen one shot, hurt/comfort, more so comfort, will become sweeter in the end

Charles DNF in Zandvoort, Max is catching up with him right after the winner ceremony

Definitely more than friends (were we ever friends?), less than boyfriends relationship status

Max is praising the skills of Charles and goes on how he's wasting his talent at Ferrari

Charles ends up crying/having a breakdown bc what if it's not the car but him who's not performing any better

Max offers to take him down to the beach for a walk to clear his head (Charles stops crying and starts laughing when he thinks Max wants to take him to the nudist side of the beach)

They walk, look at the sea, enjoy the wind

It's peaceful, it is helping

They kiss, and kiss

Charles wishes he could treat everything as easy as it is with Max, even though nothing is easy with Max

But these corresponding things are what stick them to each other so it's fine

WIP state: 1/3 of it is written, rest of it is drafted out in detail

That infamous Ted and Robin pact

You know, the "let's marry each other if we are still single by 30"

Young Versainz with some added jump into their current age

“I mean it'd be fun to make a pact like that” Max prompts, which makes Carlos snort.

“Yeah, get me a home country where it's legal first” he says bitterly,

Toro Rosso days, Max and Carlos watch himym in their free time

Max fancies the thought of having someone secured for himself if things go south

Carlos is cynical

But the possibility of this pact lingers, haunting the thoughts of both of them

The emotional journey of Max Verstappen with men

Goddamn this boy is Gay™

I really want to have a self-indulgent analysis of how I see Max's relationship with the most important men in his life

Like I want to explore his feelings and flash of thoughts of sexual awakenings

Starting with Charles (as kids, young teenagers)

Jumping to Carlos which is a Very intense jump

Like losing virginity kind of a jump

Oh it was awkward but the best and most he'd wanted

Then the whole ordeal that is Danny Ricciardo for this kid

Goddamn he's so gay for him

Getting together with Carlos seemed so easy that he thinks maybe it's a sealed deal with Danny too

Like he likes him, that's obvious, isn't it?

Isn't it?

Then an older Charles enters the stage of racing (and Max’s heart) once again

Keep in mind this won't be an actual ship fic since none of the pairings will end up as couples, it's more so a study of Max emotions

[chaotic-on-main]

I love your Unspoken Words series so much! As someone who goes nonverbal from time to time when overwhelmed. This is also why i ask anonymously, I am feeling a bit too much of everything and seeing my name on your blog makes me nervous.

i just really appreciate the whole story and i just love how everyone is so understanding and supportive and nobody demands she „just talk“. Levi taking sign classes had me crying, seriously.

You posted you were open for prompts. It‘s a bit self indulgent, but I would be interested how Reiner (and maybe some others) would react when they either catch you reading smut or randomly grab one your smut books that you annotated. (I am not asking for explicit stuff, just how they would react to you reading that kind of stuff).

Oh my gosh thank you so much for saying so!! 😭 Unspoken Words has definitely been my little baby for a while and I'm really glad I portray nonverbal people to your liking! I am just obsessed with the fact that Levi's love language would be acts of services so putting in that communication barrier really puts light on their interactions instead of words, for the most part lol.

I totally know how it feels to have everything feeling like a little too much, believe me. It's overwhelming, so it's totally okay to stay anon! Though, I am sorry you're feeling like that today. But if you'd like, I'm perfectly happy to have you in my DMs. This will always stay a judgement free zone. 💕

These were really fun to think about! I'm not used to writing most of these characters tho so I'm sorry if my hcs don't line up. 😅

No actual smut is mentioned but there are some suggestive themes!

How AoT Characters React To You Reading Smut:

Reiner ->

oh he is SO shy about it

like he does a double take as he walks by you, all curled up on the couch with it wide open and you're so enraptured you don't even notice

"What are you reading?" he can't keep himself from asking but his face is so flushed and there might be a little stuttering

when you tell him about it, he's doing his best to stand straight and keep a level voice

he's also a little curious though, and will ask something along the lines of "Would you want to try this out sometime?" while he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly

Armin ->

he accidentally finds your collection when he's looking for a specific book

he thumbs through it curiously because he's just like that lol

at first, he's incredibly shocked to see that you're into that kind of stuff

but then he gets a little self-conscious because he worries that he might not be giving you what you want

you have to force it out of him because he's ruminating in silence and when he finally says something, he's all blushy and not looking you in the eye

Jean ->

HE'S SO SMUG ABOUT IT

he grabs it out of your hands and reads out some passages in a teasing manner while you're fighting to get it back

but then he comes across the filthiest thing he's ever read and it shuts him right up, turning into a mess and his words are all jumbled lmao

I also see this man looking over the top of it and is like, "C'mon, we're trying this out right now." and then grabs your hand and pulls you into the bedroom

Hange ->

they are so excited to see that you read these BECAUSE THEY READ THEM TOO.

I imagine they catch you reading it and recognize it right away, going all "OH I'VE READ THAT ONE. What do you think about _____?"

and they start overanalyzing it all out loud while fingering through the pages

it's kind of a mood killer (affectionate) but it's funny to watch them talk about these crazy scenarios and you laugh too because they are quite silly when you think about it

Levi ->

he sneaks up on you one day while you're on the couch reading and he starts reading the page you're on over your shoulder

his sudden voice makes you jump out of your skin and snap the book shut

"Is this how you spend your down time?" not accusatory tho, genuinely curious even though his voice comes out bored lol

he says nothing else as he raises an eyebrow at you then walks away

only when the next time you get down and dirty with him do you realize he must have been looking through your books and seeing what you liked and didn't like from your annotations in the margins

he's a really fast learner

Send me prompts with an AOT character and I'll write a lil something! Fill this 16 hour shift for me, I beg of you. ✌🏻

taglist: @averysmolbear @humanitys-strongest-bamf @youre-ackermine @notgoodforlife @roseofdarknessblog @missamity @levis-squishy-cheeks @icansmellsouls @dkbktk420 @elnyrae @romantichomicide95

If you'd like to join my taglist to be notified for my works and/or games, please go to the link on my pinned post! ✌🏻

[c1phyb4ra]

༺ღ༒Spoiled༒ღ༻

Pairing: König x GN!Reader

CW: None, just purely self indulgent fluff. Consists of my personal romantic fantasies. (*´꒳`*)

〖Hi, just throwing this on here because ahhh!! I love love love silly little scenarios like these that are just the most romantic forms of intimacy in my eyes. Hope y'all enjoy and feel free to spam my ask box with requests :3. Enjoy <3〗

✧༺ ♡ ༻✧

2 months.

2 long months of König being out on deployment. I sighed deeply, my thoughts wandering to when König would be back. He had estimated that he would be back by this weekend, but things could always go wrong and end up with him being gone for much longer. It was the risk of his career, and I despised it.

Yet I still loved how passionate he was about his job, and how he was excellent in his field of work. I couldn't fault him for that. My thoughts were so pleasantly surprised when I heard the door unlock and as I turned to look at the door, König was already there, scooping me up into his arms and holding me tightly. I yelped in surprise from being picked up so suddenly but once I saw the familiar sniper hood and helmet I knew I was in for a treat.

"König!" I shrieked excitedly as I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist and arms around his neck. I press my body against his, the thick canvas material of his uniform scratching my skin. I gently pulled off the heavy helmet and tossed it on the couch where I had been sitting previously. I also tugged off his sniper hood, the ratty material being discarded as I took König's face in my hands, my fingers tracing his strong handsome features. I pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose as I let out an excited laugh.

"You're back early! I missed you so much, did everything go well?" I ask as I hug him back tightly I feel his lips on my neck as he responds, the Austrian accent in his voice very prevalent as he spoke.

"Ja, meine Liebe... I had to come back early, I missed you too much, we will discuss the mission at another time. Right now, I believe I have something more important to do." He spoke, as he peppered my neck with gentle kisses. His stubble scratched my neck and tickled me as he kept gently kissing my neck.

"And that is?" I ask him with a giggle as I soak in his affection.

"This," he says as he shifts his lips to my mouth. I melt into his arms as our lips melt together in a dance of pure love and passion. I let out a happy groan as I let his tongue enter my mouth. My fingers traced his jawline and neck as we kissed, my heart pounding with excitement and love. One of his hands reaches around to support my body in his arms while his other arm holds me close by my waist. He pulls away for a bit of air as he lets out a shaky breath, his pretty blue eyes looking into my own. My legs instinctively squeeze the muscles of his back as I hold onto him, not letting go. I feel happy tears escape my eyes as I look at König, overwhelmed with emotions.

"I'm so happy your back. This was the longest mission yet, and it hurt to wake up without you by my side." I murmured as I peppered his face with kisses. Before I even finish his hands move to my face, cupping your cheeks. I feel his smile against my lips as he leans in slowly for another kiss.

"Do not cry, vögelchen. I am here now and will be staying for longer. I missed you far too much and needed to spend more time home with you." He spoke softly as he kissed away my tears, his lightly chapped lips feeling comforting as he did so. I sighed as he put me back down on the ground, yet still keeping a strong grip on me.

"It's late darling. Let me run you a bath and help you get cleaned up then we can cuddle for the rest of the night." I said as I took his hand and led him to the bathroom, humming as turned the tap on and began to fill the tub with warm water.

As I hummed, König had his arms wrapped around my waist, clumsily following me as I took various bottles of product out from the cabinet and placed them on the shelf next to the porcelain tub. He took a few deep inhales, his nose in my hair as he took in the scent of my shampoo. I chuckle at this as I close the tap and check the water temperature. Once I deemed the water perfect, I added a few calming scents to the water, some bath salts, and a bubble solution.

I turned to König and helped him get out of his thick military uniform, the heavy fabric dragging across his skin as I helped him undress. I smiled as I traced the scars across his skin lovingly, his battle scars showing how much he's been through as a soldier.

I felt König shiver under my touch, my fingers tracing the puckered scar tissue from years of bullet wounds, cuts, and knife fights he's gone through. His years of service left his flesh covered in keloid scars that I loved to pepper with kisses after nights of pure love and passion.

"I'll help you wash your hair, just get in and relax, okay my dear?" I spoke tenderly. His hand comes up to caress my cheek. The simple action of tracing the scars on his body was both soothing and arousing for König. He steps into the bath and sighs, the hot water and its calming scents filling the room with its humid warmth. He sinks down, submerging his body into the scented bubble bath. I got on my knees at the head of the tub and my chest presses against the back of König's head.

"It feels good, Liebling." His voice is low and soothing as he looks up at me. I took a cup of water and gently poured it over his hair, the short choppy ginger tufts flattening against his scalp. I squeezed shampoo onto my palm and lathered the soap into his hair, my fingers massaging his scalp as I thoroughly scrubbed his hair. I quietly hummed as I washed his hair.

I watch König lean into my touch, my mere touch and presence getting him to fall into a deep relaxed state. The gentle lathering, the massaging, the warmth of the water. Even my humming lulls him to a trance-like state.

I see his muscles relax, and I feel him take a deep breath and let go. His shoulders drop a bit as I wash his hair and hum. He relaxes as he gazes up at me. I smile at him and give his forehead a quick peck as he leans his head on the rim of the tub.

I finished washing his hair and rinsed it, pressing another kiss to the top of his head. I then began to massage his tense shoulders, my fingers expertly massaging the knots out of his back.

The tension drains from his muscles. I can feel his entire body completely relax under my fingertips. He lets out a slow exhale, his breath becoming deep and calm as he listens to both my voice and the water around him lapping at his body all around him.

As you near the end of your massage of his shoulders, he begins to pull me towards him. His large hands rested on my own, which were still resting on his now relaxed shoulders.

"You're... How you say...spoiling me too much, Liebling." His voice drops low again as he lifts one of my arms and places it so my forearm is resting on his collarbone/chest. I smiled as I stood behind him, my arms wrapped around him while my chin rested on his head.

"You've just been away so long, I figured you needed something to relax and unwind after this deployment," I said as I sighed, his finger tracing the back of my hand. The steam from the water lazily flowed up and fogged the mirror as I continued to hold him, the front of my shirt becoming soaked from König's head resting against my chest.

"I really did, maus. It's been so hard being away, not only physically but emotionally. Just knowing that you've been here all alone while I have been on duty makes me feel guilty. You've done so much for me, for us, and I couldn't even be there with you at all times." He speaks sadly, his body tensing up again. I press my cheek to the top of his head as my nails slowly scratch the side of it.

"König darling, it's your job. I understand that your career is risky and sends you away from me for long periods of time. It's okay. I still love you, even if you're not always here." I said with a sad smile as I pressed another kiss to the top of his head. I feel the muscles in his back soften once more, his breathing growing slow and relaxed.

"You are right, I know you understand, but I think about it quite often." He turns his head slightly to look at me, his hand reaches out and caresses my cheek.

"How do you cope with me being gone so long? It must be as hard for you as it is for me." He asked. I let out a nervous chuckle, my cheeks growing pink as I think about it.

"It's ah, a bit embarrassing to admit... but I tend to use your shirts as...um...pillowcases. It's just something that makes me feel closer to you, no matter which part of the world you're in." I said with an embarrassed chuckle. König lets out a small laugh as he shakes his head.

"It's silly, I know. I just find comfort in your smell." I say quietly. He looks back at me with a big smile.

"I am not sure which is better, your confession or the fact that you think I'm not doing the same with your clothes. I might have also taken a few of your things with me when I leave so I could smell them when I miss you. You have a very sweet smell." He says kindly. I sigh happily as he takes my hand and presses a kiss to it.

"Hehe, I'm glad I'm not the only weirdo who likes sniffing clothing. You just have a very relaxing scent." I said bashfully. I feel a faint chuckle and his lips continue to wander from the back of my hand and up my forearm, his hand squeezing mine.

"Ich liebe dich, vögelchen." He murmurs softly. I smile and move from behind him to next to him so I could press a kiss to his lips.

"Heh, ich liebe dich auch," I replied, my German sounding clumsy but still got the message across. König chuckled at my attempt.

"Your pronunciation is getting better, maus." He said with a big grin on his face. I blush and laugh.

"I've been practicing," I reply playfully. König smiles and sits up rinsing his body off, getting ready to exit the bath.

"There is something else, I want to tell you. Something I thought you'd appreciate to hear." He says as he kisses my hand again.

"Go on dear," I say as I lean into his touch, my free hand grabbing a towel and began drying off his hair. I hear him take a deep breath before he speaks again, the words slow and measured.

"My darling... There is no one else in the world that I could be with. I feel so at home with you. I think... I am not proposing just yet, because it has to be perfect. But.. Do you think that you would be open to the idea of marriage?" König asks nervously.

I hand him a towel for him to dry himself off. He stands up and wraps it around his waist, the fabric hanging loosely off his hips, a strawberry blonde happy trail creeping up his muscular torso. I try to hide the huge grin on my face as I place a change of clothes on the bathroom counter.

"Yes, König. I would be very much open to that." I said with a tender smile. I stand up on my tip toes and wrap my arms around his neck, his bare torso pressed against my clothed one. I lean in and kissed König, our lips fitting together perfectly. I pull away for air and giggle happily, my face pressing into the crook of his neck.

His lips now find the nape of your neck, giving you soft and tender kisses, his words almost a whisper between each kiss.

"You are my family, you are my home. I love you." He whispered in my ear, while playfully nibbling on my earlobe. I smile.

"I love you too. Now come on, ya big sap. It's late, we need to head to bed." I playfully flicked his forehead as I pulled away. I took the fresh set of clothes and handed them to him.

"Get changed, I want to cuddle so badly and I can't wait any longer." I jokingly demanded. König let out a laugh, his shoulders shaking.

"As you wish, meine Liebe."

〖Hope you enjoyed! Please do leave a like/comment/reblog. It shows me how much you enjoyed my work. Thank you, luv u <3〗

[mod-kyoko]

"Shatter Me" kirumi tojo angst fic

info: gn!reader, established relationship, tw: pstd, scars, mentions of execution, around 3,200 words

type: angst with hurt/comfort, oneshot, post-game AU

a/n: this is a completely indulgent kirumi angst I had cooking up, basically this is set after post-game where everything was a simulation and the damage done to the 'characters' is done to them irl title is a reference to this song which I personally think suits Kirumi well but who knows lmfao

⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡

it was all like a horrible nightmare, a nightmare you weren’t even sure you could ever wake from. all the death, the pain and the misery would never be something you could shake from. every single trial, each passing moment your life was on the line… yet each time someone dies, you just wished you took their place. you survived, at what cost? only to be told that your talent and memories were nothing more than a fabrication to appease an audience? you never really found out if those interview videos were real or not…  you saw yourself, clear as day; “if I were in Danganronpa…I would love to be an Ultimate !3$5&*+...I would kill in a way no one has ever seen!”

did you really say that? was that even you, looking up at the camera with wide, child-like eyes declaring you’d… kill? In some ways, you wished you were the first to go out… so you didn’t have to witness the death of your own lover.

kirumi tojo… the “Ultimate Maid” or so they wanted them to all believe. you instantly connected with her; her calm, composed and almost motherly demeanour sucked you in like a moth to a flame. even from the beginning it seemed like she felt it too, she treated you differently than the others. she kept her ‘devoted’ maid self but she checked on you more often, she always asked if you needed anything unprompted, and poured you more tea when you were finished with a cup. you spent many moments alone with her, she enjoyed your company and laughed at your stupid jokes. the first time you kissed her; it was in the spur of the moment, you weren’t thinking. she was just so beautiful, up close to you and asking you in a soft whisper if you wanted sugar with your tea. yet when your lips connected to hers, she was shocked of course but she didn’t pull herself away from you.

what things you would do just to go back to those days, where the worries of murder and despair weren’t constantly plaguing your mind. nights upon nights you sat in your room, staring up at the ceiling asking yourself why kirumi went to the extremes that she did. It was sickeningly twisted what the motive that was created for her was, the prime minister of japan… it sounded silly now you thought of it outloud, if you knew about the truth behind it all you would definitely have thought that it was some poorly written story by a teenage girl. However, you couldn’t even fathom that thought as you were screaming and crying at kirumi that she was a traitor and betrayed your trust. you regretted those words deeply… as those were the last words you ever said to her before she was executed. you barely watched it and the little moments you did watch were enough to make you heave up. the last memory you thought of kirumi was her lifeless body on the floor, splattered and unrecognisable.

…

you looked up. your eyes just met with pure sterile white walls. after the events of the killing game, the simulation… waking up with wires around your body, you never loved the colour white so much. you were currently sat in the recovery centre, where the various victims and… culprits were recovering from their in-game injuries. it made your skin crawl to think that the simulated deaths acted as if they existed in real life too; it broke your heart to think how everyone else was handling it. However, your mind was entirely focused on one person and one person alone.

how long have you been standing here? staring at the door that led to kirumi’s recovery room? an hour? more than that? it’s not the idea that you didn’t want to see her, you were jumping off the walls in happiness to find out that your partner was alive but not unscathed. you were afraid - afraid of what was on the other side of that door, what condition kirumi would be in. would she be happy to see you?

you swallowed a thick lump in your throat, a shaky hand grasping the doorknob and you already felt the bead of sweat going down your forehead. you knew that you couldn’t just back away from this. bad outcome or not, you were going to see her, you just wanted to see her again.

with a gentle click the door opened and you peered in. there she was, dressed in a patient gown and sat in a wheelchair by the window, her eyes vacant yet staring at the courtyard of the facility. your heart skipped a beat as you held your breath, seeing her alive like this… you had to hold yourself to make sure that you weren’t dreaming and the nightmare would come back all over again.

“kirumi…” you called for her and your voice reverberated off the walls despite the fact you spoke in a whisper. her eyes widened, turning herself as fast as her condition would allow her to. you just wanted to run over to her, hug her tight and swing her around in utter joy. however, stepping closer you really started to see how serious her condition may be. minus the fact she was in a wheelchair it looked like her entire body was wrapped in bandages, at least, based on what you could see outside of the gown. her warm green eyes stared at you like if you were a ghost, hell… to her, you probably were as much as a ghost she is to you she didn’t say anything which worried you, you slowly sat down on a chair that was near the window as well. you looked out the window awkwardly, trying to think on what to even say. you looked back at her to find she was still looking at you.

“uhm… how are you feeling?” that was the only words you could even think of to say, there were a thousand questions running through your mind but you wouldn’t want to overwhelm her. she took a deep breath, it sounded uneven like if she had trouble getting air. finally, she spoke. “I feel pain all over. my head… it hurts.” hearing her voice was a relief even though it had a shake to it. “yeah… I can imagine it does hurt…” your mind flashes to her execution; from the small parts you saw through the cracks in your fingers, she fell head first. the thought made you cringed. “you… understand what’s going on, right?” you asked her. you were told that the others had been given information when they woke up… which was two days ago if you weren’t mistaken.

she gently nods her head in a twitchy sort of motion. come to think of it, her head seemed to wobble slightly even when sitting still. jesus. “all of… that… was fake? a simulation..? our… memories were toyed with…” you saw her bandage-wrapped hands clench which caused you to grit your teeth. you hated this so much.

“y…yeah… we were… fictional characters created for some.. dumb show or… whatever…” you didn’t tell her that there was the possibility that you all signed up for it. you weren’t sure what was true or not. “we are real now, of course… I’m… here.” you reached a hand to gently place it over hers, she flinched and you looked at her with apologetic eyes. “my purpose… was… just an illusion then…” she muttered with her brows wrinkling. “I… I thought I did what was right… for… my people. those people didn’t even exist…”

you grimaced. she meant her ‘fake’ past, right? the people of Japan was what made her murder another, her selfless devotion. “am I a monster?” those very words made your eyes widened and you shook your head vigorously. “no… no, of course not...  if I was in your shoes I would’ve done the same thing.” you said rather seriously and she looked at you, searching for a lie of some kind. she sighed softly. “you do not seem the type to do such a thing at all… you don’t have to try and make me feel better about myself. I see the person I am now.” “but you’re not a monster, kirumi… and I’m not just saying it to make you feel better. you’re not the only one to have motives to kill… the ones after were… much worse than yours…”

you saw the way her eyes darted around in shock, realising that the killings had continued after her death. she looked away and covered her mouth with her hand. she looked like she was going to be sick. “however, I had… betrayed you..”

hearing your own words echo from her lips made a deep guilt sink into your stomach. to think that was the last thing you ever said to her before she met her demise… because you were so damn angry, angry at her and… angry at yourself, angry at the sick twisted minds that constructed  the killing game. 

“I’m sorry.” was all you could say. kirumi looked at you completely shocked. why were you apologising…? she was the one that had killed, betrayed you and threw away everything you created together. despite her feelings, she relaxed into her wheelchair and breathed out, like if she had been holding her breath for some time. “I… I am sorry too…” 

god you wanted to cry right then and there as she said that. she was not innocent at all but something within you just wanted to hold her in your arms and never let go, you never want to lose her ever again. “are you… considering to go through the treatment…?” you asked, hoping to change the topic a bit even if it was still morbid. she nods her head gently. “yes… they said I should partake in small exercises like catching a ball… and… relearning how to walk.” 

you bit your bottom lip at that news. it could be much worse… at least it sounded like she had a chance to get a normal life at some point. “but… until then I will need assistance in basic needs…” she said with disappointment in her voice. it made you ache… simulation or not you know she feels useless right now. “I’ll be there to help you.” you were quite blunt in your words - but you meant it. you would be there for kirumi every step of the way, everything she needed you will provide. she looked at you shocked as she thought you hated her for the acts she did… she nods her head, however. “...thank you, dear.”

…

it had been a full month ever since you reunited with kirumi again, you supported her and helped her through the process of readjusting to this life, like you were. you were there for her exercises and treatment, watching her try to walk again was a heartbreaking but determination increasing experience. she wouldn’t be able to take full steps without assistance for awhile, however for right now she could at least stand from her chair and move to another quickly. it was only just at the start of this month that kirumi was out of the recovery centre and now sharing a ground-floor apartment with you. it certainly made things feel more ‘normal’ and no doubt a lot more comfortable for kirumi as she didn’t need to stare at blinding white walls anymore. you admittedly did everything for your girlfriend as it just became second nature to you at this point; you could see how desperately she wanted to clean or even wipe down a surface to feel like she was doing something. she knows that she was never supposed to be the ‘Ultimate Maid’ yet the yearning to do something, anything was still there. 

as for right now, you were cleaning the bathroom and kirumi sat at the dining table with a book. reading was now one of her popular pastimes, she greatly appreciated that you bought her so many books to read… books that she enjoyed quite a lot. hearing you scrub the tiles in the bathroom made for some interesting background noise, although she found your presence anywhere in the apartment to be relaxing. she would’ve indulged it some more if she didn’t just gain the most head-splitting headache possible that nearly made her drop her book as she gripped her head. no matter what, it didn’t seem like these headaches were ever going to go away. she sighed softly, putting her book on the table as she wheels over to the kitchen counter and opens the medicine cabinet which she could reach for obvious reasons. she grabbed her painkillers and quickly downed them with a swig of water. she closed the cabinet and was about to go back to her book until her eyes spied the set of kitchen knives.

her jaw clenched, looking down at the floor. she just wanted to be like… like herself again, like in the killing game. she was useful in it. everyone needed her, wanted her. she could service everyone and be the perfect girl she wanted to be. she leaned up slightly and grabbed the biggest kitchen knife, wheeling to the fridge and grabbing out a tomato. she just wanted to prove herself… that she could do something. she went back to the dining table, swallowing a lump in her throat as she stared at the red fruit, knife in hand as she positioned it just like how she remembers.

slowly, she attempted to cut slices of tomato as if she was preparing a salad of some kind. the cuts were irregular in size and certainly not perfect at all. kirumi clenched her jaw, trying to focus harder, she had to.try harder. no matter how hard she gripped the knife her hand would shake, becoming increasingly the more frustrating that she couldn’t cut a fucking perfect slice-

she flinched as the knife’s blade grazed her finger, nicking it and making it bleed. she dropped the knife quickly, looking down at her finger as the blood oozed out. she sucked in a loud gasp which you heard clearly. “kirumi? you okay?-” you walked into the dining room and your jaw went slack. “kirumi!” you rushed to her side, looking down at the little injury on her hand then at face. she looked absolutely shellshocked. “what were you doing…?” you asked, eyes darting around at the scene. “I… I just wanted to… show I’m useful…” her voice was no more than a whisper as she brought her finger to her mouth to suck on the cut with her brows furrowed. you frowned, putting your hand on her back and rubbing it slowly. “you don’t have to prove anything, rumi… you’re still recovering and adjusting… please don’t force yourself to do things like this, it needs to be taken slowly…” you massaged the back of her neck with your thumb, feeling her relaxed in your touch she wobbled her head in a nod. It seems she understood you. you hated treating her like she was a vulnerable child… but at this stage that was what she was at the moment. 

“I’ve finished cleaning the bathroom… would you like a shower?” you gently asked her. she didn’t like taking showers or even baths, something about the water made her want to shake all over. she especially disliked getting water on her hands although she couldn’t really tell you why just yet.

she stiffens for a moment, thinking about it for far longer than she needed to. however, she nodded her head and moved herself into the bathroom as you watched with a worried face. you were seriously getting concerned for her… it was like every day was complete pain for her, although that wasn’t far from the truth at all… what you would do just to feel her pain instead.

following kirumi into the bathroom, you closed the door and flashed a friendly smile at your girlfriend. “arms up, please!” she lifted her arms at your request, they were twitching a little but it was fine. you carefully but briskly took off her top, following up with her skirt and then undergarments. “can you get into the seat yourself?” you asked her, gesturing to the little bench inside the shower. she pondered for a few moments but ultimately nodded her head and began to lift herself out of her chair. you looked at her in awe, seeing her gain her strength each day always warmed your heart. you clapped your hands and smiled. “amazing! you’re doing so well, dear... I think you’ll be able to take steps soon!” you giggled softly to keep the air light, rolling up your sleeves as you grab the showerhead and turning it on. “Hmm… you think so? thank you, dear…” kirumi smiled softly. even when she felt useless, or feeling low, you always knew how to make her feel supported. she promised to herself that she would be able to walk properly one day for you, so you could walk along the beach together or even be able to walk into your arms like you used to. you hummed gently as you brought the shower head directly over her, the warm water falling over her severely scarred body. her entire body flinched and she felt like she was getting attacked at the moment. when your fingers combed through her sandy-sage locks to run the water through properly she started to relax into your touch. she was so glad that you were here for her, that you were looking after her and giving everything she needed, even if it embarrassed her or made her feel… incomplete. despite everything she’s done, the pain and misery she felt in her heart knowing that what she worked for wasn’t real - she could forget all of that when you were here for her.

you put the shower to the side and squirted kirumi’s favourite shampoo onto your hands. it was lavender scented and it often helped her fall asleep with the smell of her own hair. you massaged it into her scalp and you could see the moment her entire body relaxed and that she was completely at your mercy. it made you smile so much to see her content and not worrying about everything… you pushed her bang out of the way of her eye and slicked her hair back. her eyes opened to look at yours and the slightest tint of red went over her face. you giggled softly at this, leaning down to press a soft kiss against her forehead. “beautiful…” you whispered to her which caused her to blush more. she? beautiful? how can you say that to her face, when you were right there being perfect? “I love you.” she said it so suddenly that it caught herself off guard however she didn’t back down and stared confidently at you. you smiled, heart melting at such a cute confession. tilting your head to the side, you uttered back. “I love you too…”

perhaps, things will be better.

⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡

-Mod Kirumi

[teddybeartoji]

sooooo i heard someone mention selfship asks >:3…. i have one for mitoru n one for moji hehe

1) i can’t resist the hurt/comfort SO . how does toru cheer you up when you’re having a bad day?? and vice versa !!!!!

2) i alr asked this for mitoru but !!!! between you n toji ….. who is ”falls first” and who is ”falls harder”?? :3

OK THAT’S ALL (for now >:3)…… gl w work mickey!!!! 🫂🫂 i hope that you see this tmrw when you’re well rested!!! and that you have the coziest sleep in the meantime <33 smooching you gently on the bridge of your nose

HELLO ARI MY SWEETEST LITTLE ANGEL<333333333333 THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FOR INDULGING ME ON MY SILLY LITTLE SELFSHIPS HEHEHEHHE

mitoru comfort..... wahh this is such a sweet question ari:(((( when i'm having a bad day it's all about quiet time and touch. he knows that words will have very little effect, so he just slings himself over me like a koala:((((((((( i'm talking like full body weight and we've definitely uhh almost fallen over like a million times lmao. doesn't matter whether i'm getting something to eat or i'm gaming or i'm already full-time rotting in bed - he's just gonna Envelop me<333 he will whisper ridiculous jokes in my ear and i will always laugh bc i am not immune to his stupidity<3333333

and when he's sad:(((((((((((((((((((((((pls i don't even wanna think abt it he's my baby:((((((((((((((((((((((( i hold him tight and i will play with his hair as i whisper praise and reassurance into his ears. he hides his face in my neck or chest or lap (this guy is a cat fr) and i keep him safe and sound, away from the world:((((((he's mine:(((((( you know he tries to hide whenever he's feeling bad but he can't escape me i will always be there. i'll trace his face and tell him how much he means to me just so he knows that it's okay to open up, that it's okay to let me in:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( ari i love him sm:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

omggggg moji hehehehehe nowwwwwww i haven't actually delved too into this so this is veryvery exciting. i will be first to fall though there's no question here. but it still wouldn't be a love at first sight thing. this is also a slowburn but a different kind from the mitoru one. it's even slower i think😭😭😭😭

ok but i think the moji dynamic is literally just him meeting a weird cat and picking it up by the scruff and going🤨🤨🤨🤨what the fuck kind of a creature are you🤨🤨🤨🤨but then i manage to woo him with my straightforward and snarky personality and he goes🤨🤨🤨🤨again bc what the fuck is happening to him🤨🤨🤨🤨i think i can entertain him so much that he has no other way to just fall in love with me

anywayy.................... as for who falls harder............................ how self-indulgent am i when i say toji............................................. it's gonna take him a while to do it but when he finds his person he's All In you know?? like there's just no going back... when it finally clicks in his head i think he feels a bit sick. happy and sick and nervous and giddy and aaaaahhh everything is too much!!!!! feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but luckily i'm right there with him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i will bring him down to earth (to me) and then i'll welcome his shy love with open arms!!!!!!!!!!! ari i love him so much too i wanna cry:((((((((((((((((((((

wahhhhhhhhhhhhthey're both my babygirls i would do everything and anything for them<3333333 once again thank u so much for indulging me with this i'm having so much fun thinking abt the dynamic and the Lore hehehehe i love you so much and i am kissing every single one of your freckles rn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lillylvjy]

I want you (I need you)

a/n//hi! So this is a small angst blurb, not edited, written in like 20 minutes but it’s ok! My minds everywhere right now! Um… enjoy! Also if this doesn’t make sense, I’m sorry.

warnings// crying, overthinking, bad decisions, happy ending?? Maybe. Hopeful ending? Yes! Um- just all over self indulgent.

edited: absolutely not.

Wilma x reader, Wilma x gn!reader

p.s I’m running out of Wilma photos so I will reuse some

You didn’t think it’d happen.

The day you’d break up with the only person you’ve known to be the love of your life. The person you made plans with and planned a whole wedding with. Had a lost of baby names with. Had silly little nicknames with each other, and had a secret language that you only knew so you seemed cool, when in reality you looked so stupid. The one you could, laugh with, cry with, rant with, do everything with. And that’s all gone.

You think it’d be easy to avoid her since you did it so often before you both got together, but she’s everywhere. You guys both got so used to going to the same places together, having a routine, that you bumped into each other quite a bit. Yet neither of you said anything.

Sometimes you’d catch her with her brother, sometimes your own, and get you wouldn’t blink an eye at either of them. Only worried about her and how your heart slowly withered away as she looked at you and she looked just as bad as you.

You never really knew why you broke up. You guessed it was a mutual feeling, but, you didn’t want this. You didn’t want to be away from her.

But it’s already happened. So all you can do is wait for her.

That thought became reality quicker than you thought when you were closing up the bakery and locking the door, turning around and yelping as you saw a tall person in front of you. Taking a closer look, you finally saw those chocolate brown eyes you fell in love with all those years ago, surrounded by purple bags and red eyes.

“Hi.” Her voiced croaked out as she took off the hood of her jacket and looked around, anywhere but your sunken eyes.

“Hi Wilm. What do you want?” You asked in a whisper as you played with your hands, waiting for her reply as dreadful silence filled the air.

“Um-“ her voice cracked as she started, quickly shaking her head and letting tears fall as she did. “I’m sorry. You deserve an apology.” She said as she sniffed and looked at her shoes with her hands in her pockets.

Your eyes fell even more as your frown turned deeper, looking up at her and shaking your head, slowly realizing that she couldn’t see you. “No. No you don’t need to apologize. You didn’t do anything.”

“But, I didn’t want to break up. I just, my mind, my thoughts wouldn’t shut up about everything. About how you’d be better off without me, about how you were unhappy and how I should just let you go. So I did. And I hate myself for it. And I know you hate me for it too. And I’m sorry about that.” Wilma stated as she looked up at you, glossy eyes staring back at yours.

Your lips wobbled as you shook your head up at her, hating every word that came out of her mouth. “You should’ve told me. You should’ve said something instead of just, doing this. I, i’m in hell because of this. I’m unhappy without you. I’m not better off without you. You’re my second half Wilm. And you took that away from me. Away from us. I don’t hate you for it, I’m just upset. Remember what I told you? That day you tried to call of the date?” You asked her as you stepped closer to her.

She nodded as she sobbed, trying her hardest to keep everything in as the scene played in her mind. “Tell you what I’m thinking when things get too hard and we’ll walk through it together.”

You nodded as you cupped her cheek, stroking it as you wiped her tears. “Mhm. That still applies. It’ll take time, but we’ll fix it. I know we will. Just have to keep pushing through, yeah? We’ll make it.” You whispered to her as she wrapped her arms around you and burried her face in your neck.

“I- I love you.” She sobbed out as you rubbed her head.

“I know. I love you too.” You said as you pulled back from the embrace you never wanted to leave.

“How about you crash at Wil and Aidan’s yeah? We can talk more while we’re there.” You offered as you started walking in the direction of the lodge house.

“Sounds good.”

Taglist: @mysticalsoot @saccharinesunset @maxx-is-dumb12

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

Sorry sorry but I can't help myself, the power this man holds I swear. I feel like aaron and brian just fit them so right??

Sorry for the angst, I actually wanted to save it for when you're requests are open but I thought it's too sad and you might not want to write it. Is it ok if I extend it a little and send it a few days later? (Apologies if it's too much but you've just awoken something in me that I didn't know I had)

But I'm so in love wirh the idea that you'd be that one unfathomably cool trio that is just so reckless and chaotic. We'd be the brain of the group (if that makes sense) and the only one who thinks before we act. Feel like we would be able to handle ourself in small fights, so he sometimes just stands there, awe struck, watching you like, yep, that's my girl. But god forbid someone manages to lay a finger on you, he'll see red. He WILL choke the man to death, no questions asked.

In the novel it is mentioned that he likes to read while on missions (when he has the time that is) so I can just imagine him grabbing two books for both of you as you sit and read like the classy couple that you two are. ("Killed 12 people and y'all are over here reading." lem, probably)

This is so self indulgent so I apologize but if you're first language isn't english, he WILL learn a few things just for you. He adores the surprised look on your face, followed by that pretty smile and laugh of yours.

In an interview with aaron and brian, aaron looked confused at the word "simp" and I can just picture that with tan and lem. He doesn't spend that much time on the internet so when lem hits him with the "You're whipped." or "Man's got it down bad." he'd look so confused.

Ok but imagine you trim his moustache, omg, he'll have you sit on his lap, his hands gently placed on your waist, you'd be too focused to notice the soft look in his eyes. "Darlin' stop smiling, I'll mess up." he mutter a sorry but the smile still remains present on his face.

Rewatched the movie, love the way this man looks in his full suit. Gotta ask, what's your fav scene of him? Or maybe your fav line of his? I'm in love with the way he explains the white death's backstory, he looks so good in that scene too. Also like the way he says tickety-boo, it's just so silly. Again, I'm so sorry, I said I'll wait a few days but I just couldn't. Just when I send in the ideas I get new ones, no thoughts, head empty, only tan. If you want I'll write them in my notes and save them for few days later.

💺 anon

hii!

1. not to worry, he still has me in one too. and right?!?

2. don’t worry about it!! was a beautifully sad idea. yes yes!! you’re more than welcome to expand it

3. YES!!! like the brainy/ maybe techy one. I feel like he’d let you have your moment/ revenge/ fighting time etc until it gets too close, like he knows you can handle yourself and don’t need a guy to defend/ protect, but tan wouldn’t risk it. like after a few minutes if you’re still fighting, he’ll come and help (he knows you could’ve done it, but again he didn’t wanna risk you getting killed/ really badly injured) you’re like “I nearly had him” and he’s like “yeah, I know” but he’s grinning and checking you over for cuts/ wounds etc

4. UGHH I LOVE THAT!! very classy, sitting in first class, legs crossed reading the same book😩 that lem moment😭😭perfect

5. omg yes!!! even more cute and perfect if it’s broken and the verbs and tenses are wrong and he says something in different language and you’re like “you said, ‘I am very beautiful’” 😭😭😭 and you’re trying not to laugh or embarrass him

6. AHAHAHA yes!! I feel like lem knows lots of the lingo, and tan is at a loss, “peng? what the fuck is peng” “what the fuck does that mean?” so lem is always educating him on the words. I feel like he sounds old when he asks about it, like “when did people stop saying …” “what’s wrong with saying …”

7. 🫠🫠🫠🫠 that’s all I gotta say about that one, omg!!?! melting and crying at that thought. WANT THAT

8. well… I haven’t watched it in a while, but I have many memorable moments. so I love when he walks off the train and lighting his cig (for obvious reasons) when he’s punching the back train window (again, for obvious reasons) when he and lem are debating the 16/17 kill count. and quotes … “you following me? stop… arsehole” and something along the lines of “story about when gordon met percy and how percy’s bleeding from his fucking eye sockets” “not particularly, no” “some 80s dance off, innit” AAAAHH NEED TO REWATCH IT AGAIN SO BAD

don’t worry about it bby, if and evenever you get ideas, keep them in your notes and then like this time and last send them over. don’t worry about sending in a few days, if you wanna, send them when you want. I said send too many times😭😭 hope you catch my drift

[blissfullyapillow]

It's okay to make mistakes

It’s okay to make mistakes

Genshin Impact

Alhaitham x gn reader

wc: 1,309

Notes: Self indulgent hurt/comfort, fluff, a personal favorite (*´ω｀*)

Back to Masterlist A

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ 

“If you have time to cry you have time to write.” Alhaitham’s words strike a chord in me, and I can’t help but wince as I quickly subdue my sniffles.

“..Sorry.” Is all I manage to murmur without my voice breaking.

I resume writing the hopefully eloquent academic essay I want him to critique. Although I asked Alhaitham to critique my paper, I’ve already heard others’ opinions on my work. The responses were… not what I was hoping for. I’m only getting started and I have minimal experience, but from the feedback I’ve received it feels like my actions are often misunderstood and my best efforts are in vain.

As I recall an encounter I had with a scholar earlier, I wince and internally scold myself for my foolish behavior.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ 

“Why are you laughing?” The scholar asks me. “S..Sorry! I was laughing at myself for making such a silly mistake and-“ “I don’t care. Pay attention and don’t laugh in a situation like this. Laughing can be taken the wrong way.” I sheepishly nod knowing the scholar isn’t wrong, so I quickly quieted down and finished the task.

It irks me that the scholar is scolding me for laughing when I originally overheard the scholar laughing at me when I made a foolish mistake. Realizing what I did wrong, I joined in on the laughter and laughed at myself. So suddenly my behavior is wrong when you were the one originally laughing at me? I make sure to mask my frustration and continue listening to the other critiques the scholar has about my work. Figures, most of it seems to be due to something I lack.

I try not to get too down and finish hearing out the scholar before I’m excused. Although the critiques weren’t incorrect in any way and I’m only a beginner in my field of expertise, it still stings to know I missed so many things. I shake it off and take my leave. Hopefully Alhaitham can help me improve my work.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   ♡　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ 

Just remembering the scene makes me cringe at my own misgivings. Even so, it’s a learning process and it’s okay for me to make mistakes. I just wish my mistakes didn’t make me feel worthless and unworthy of anyone’s time.

To make matters worse, it’s hard to tell which criticism I receive is constructive or not. It’s hard to tell due to the tone the Scholar used when they gave me information on areas I can improve in. I’m grateful for the critiques the scholar offered; of course I need to make sure I’m open to criticism in order to improve, but everything’s just… hard. 

Despite the hours I’ve dedicated to my studies and learning, my lack of experience continues to remind me that I have a long way to go. It’s not as if I’m not improving, but it’s a slow improvement.

It's frustrating. 

It’s like I’m stagnating while the grass continues to grow greener in other’s meadows.

I know I shouldn’t feel this way; I’m doing just fine for where I am now, and slow improvement is better than no improvement at all. Still, I can’t help but beat myself up and feel discouraged over the little errors I’ve made. Am I even making a contribution? Do my words matter? Is this the right career field for me? Maybe I should quit while I’m ahead and-

“Ow!” I rub the back of my head and turn around to glare at the offending rolled up stack of papers in Alhaitham’s hand. “I told you to stay focused. What’s with the dazed out look? It’s irritating me.” Alhaitham scoffs as he leans over me, his chest hovering over my back.

“This is all you’ve written in the past five minutes?” Alhaitham chastises me. As much as I appreciate Alhaitham’s straightforward attitude, I can’t handle it at the moment. “My apologies. I just need a moment.” I quickly splutter out a reason to leave.

I abruptly stand up, my chair scraping against the floor. The scribe of the Akademiya says nothing as I leave the room. As soon as the door shuts I look around to confirm I’m alone.

Of course I am. I was in Alhaithams’ private study.

I let myself slide down to the floor and curl in on myself.

I will not cry. I will not cry.

Thankfully I don’t full on bawl, but all it takes is a measly tear to escape my eye before I’m silently crying.

Okay, great. Yay me, crying! Right outside Alhaitham’s private study no less! Woohoo!

I release a frustrated sigh and allow a few more tears to escape before I viscously rub my cheeks and puffy eyes. I stand up and take a deep, albeit shaky, breath and re-enter Alhaitham’s study.

Alhaitham keeps his eyes trained on me as I walk back over to him. When I move to sit down however, he quickly pulls me back by my arm. I open my mouth to ask him what’s wrong, but he lifts my chin and looks into my eyes before I can say anything.

Dammit. He’ll know that I was crying, it’s obvious when I do. My eyes get a little red if you pay attention, and I’m sure my cheeks are still wet with my previous salty tears.

“I-It’s not what you think I I really just needed a break and…” I trail off when Alhaitham pulls me against his chest. His hand smooths my hair back as he gently scolds me. “I told you not to push yourself. You can’t improve if you hold yourself back. We all make mistakes, but it’s important that we reflect on them and learn. It may not make it easier to accept and acknowledge that you made the mistake, but it becomes easier with time. It’s okay, we’re not perfect. And we don’t have to be.” His tender words carry my sorrow with them.

I’m embarrassed by the choked out sob I let out before I’m weeping against his chest, but Alhaitham remains silent as he lets me cry against him.

I hate showing my emotions like this and being vulnerable, especially in front of a man like Alhaitham, but…

For once I don’t feel ashamed.

In the embrace of Alhaitham’s strong arms I feel loved and cherished for who I am, with all of my faults and all of my strengths.

Once I regain my composure and no longer feel the need to cry I quietly thank Alhaitham for being there for me. “Of course, it’s not only my duty as your boyfriend to be there for you but.. I also want to be someone you can come to and confide in. I know I’m not the best at this stuff but.. you can rely on me. Now, tell me who made you cry so I can kick their ass.” I guffaw at his sudden change in demeanor and his bold tone, and I burst into laughter when I catch the murderous glare in his stern eyes.

It’s this freeing kind of laughter that you only feel after you’ve cried your eyes out until you’re satisfied. No, nothing has changed after I’ve cried, but it will. With time. I will continue to work hard, and through my hard work and efforts I will see gradual self improvement and growth though the marching of time.

“Oh, Alhaitham. I love you.” I giggle as I wipe a tear from my eye, but this time the tear isn’t full of self doubt and worry. “Of course you do. I love me too… and I love you, I guess.” He complains when I smack his chest at his sassy remark, but I don’t miss the looks of relief in his eyes and the small smile on his lips.

[the-blind-geisha]

It's Subliminal - Chapter 1

Desc: The worlds feel familiar, but they are vast—empty. Not a single soul is within these halls. Minus her.

Hand in hand, she takes this new being through the worlds that seem to go on forever.

Where are they? What is this endless place?

Pairing: Angel x NB Reader

Words: 3860

|| AO3 || Ko-fi || Patreon || Links carrd ||

A/N: A monster story that has been battling around in my brain for awhile now, and like all things that don’t leave me, I just see it as a means to write about it. So I will.

The reader is NB with no born as or set gender reference. I really wanted this to be open to anybody for any gender, as this story is more focused on relationship building and emotional discovery than anything.

And while the age isn't specified, it is kind of hinted the year in which they were born given the memories that they go through. I will confess, this story is a bit self-indulgent. I just need it to feel at least. And to cry a bit, just like this story kind of made me do on and off as I wrote it. x’D

I also know trying to tailor every reader insert to be for everyone is a bit hard and silly, and I feel a majority of people have come to the conclusion that inserts are just OCs anybody can craft visually and the like. ♥ It doesn't just have to be about you, but a character you want to see make it through OK in the end. ♥

The sound of a train’s wheels grinding upon the harsh metal of a track woke them from their slumber. Eyes adjusting to the dim lighting about them, it was there they were met with a nearly empty train car. It was dark out, the forest just beyond the windows whirling past at such a speed they couldn't say they could catch anything of interest.

But it didn't feel like it was going that fast.

Rubbing their eyes with a nasally sigh, they found the silence to be a bit deafening—the wide, empty space to be equally so. Before they could even think of moving to another car, it was there they saw her.

A woman with a decorative hood hanging about her face, making it a bit challenging for anybody to take note of her features right away. She was holding a single container in her lap, the oval glass allowed for them to see that there was a beautiful star just floating there in the center of a small terrarium that housed a few fake plants and mushrooms.

It was gorgeous.

Her light-blue painted nails gently caressed the object, as if it were sacred to her. But as if sensing their eyes upon her, she looked to the other that was there in the train car with her.

They caught their breath as the woman’s sky-blue eyes looked to them. Her eyes were almost enchanted, brightly staring out from the shadow of her hood. She smiled as bits of their golden blonde hair trickled into view.

“You’re awake.” Her voice was soothing, almost like a lullaby. “I was beginning to worry I’d be the only one on this journey.”

They gave a brief, crooked grin. Talking to strangers wasn't their strong suit. “Heh. Yeah. I don't remember when I drifted off.”

It was there she took to her feet, coming closer to motion to the empty space beside them. “May I join you?”

To say the seat was taken would have been an obvious lie if ever there was one. They nodded nervously.

“Thank you.” She sat down, keeping her focus on the star she continued to hold.

They hummed to themselves, looking about the train to feel as though the space was only smaller once more, even with just the two of them. “I wonder when my stop is.”

“Oh?” she cooed, peering at them from under her hood. “You know where to get off?”

“Well, not really.” They stifled a nervous laugh in their throat. “I mean…” Their eyes took in the scene of the nearly empty car once more. “...I want to say this is all just a dream. I never know the train I take to be this empty.”

The woman giggled to herself. “Mm, that is fair. I am surprised your mind lets you see through such veils so easily. Most people fall prey to dream worlds, not knowing the difference between being awake or being asleep.”

It was odd this woman would talk to them like they too knew it was a dream. The mind was a weird place sometimes. “Yeah, heh. So, what’s your name?”

“Freyja.” She continued to give a warm smile. “May I have yours?”

The way she asked, however, it felt more like she was just being friendly—it was as though she knew all along what it could actually be. But they gave it, as she asked and the woman merely smiled.

That smile didn't seem to falter.

At long last, the train began to come to a slow stop till the two of them realized it was time to leave. They didn't even mention they were leaving. Something in their body just insisted they get up to do so.

Freyja followed behind them, keeping the same gentle hold on the glowing star in her possession.

On the other side of the train doors, a house stood before them that only they could recognize. It was a place where their life continued to live out but without a single person in sight. Even the cars that should have been there were not.

It almost felt and looked empty. The building bathed in a warm sunny glow. Even with it feeling vacant, it was home. That’s all that mattered. It was their home for so many years now, it was hard to even count them.

“You live here, don't you?” Freyja asked, noting a rather welcoming energy from them.

“Yeah…”

The tone shift was odd to her, making the woman give a curious yet concerned look. “Is something the matter? You sound nervous.”

They weren't sure why they were. It was their home, a place of freedom to be themselves and a lot of beautiful memories. “Dreams have a funny way of messing up the places I should be familiar with. I guess I’m a bit worried about what it’ll do.”

The woman stepped forward, making it to the front door where she grabbed the handle and opened it without any hesitation. “We can view it together, if you like?”

Their mind wasn't questioning why this woman had to follow them. It just felt natural to them either way. With a steady breath, they ventured through the front door.

The entire atmosphere of the house shifted, landing them at the foot of the steps that would guide them to the upstairs. That wasn't where the front door should have led in reality, but by now, they knew better. Emptiness echoed throughout every nook and cranny of the old building, giving an oddly unsettling sensation to them.

Their family should have been there at least, but their heart was telling them they were all gone.

It was a space void of life.

Just the two of them.

Hand reaching forward, they rested it on the twisting banister. Just up those stairs and to the right their bedroom would be. As if guided by some invisible force, they eventually reached the long hallway that consisted of many bedroom doors and a bathroom—all of them closed.

For some reason, their mind didn't care to register the layout of each one. But their bedroom door had the heaviest pull. A blink of the eye and they found themselves standing there, opening the door without much resistance that time. 

It was a paradise to them—a safe haven from the cruelty of the world and all that entailed. The computer desk, the bed, the entertainment systems… all of it was like old friends waiting for them to return home to after a long day of school or work; whichever would be the reason for their exhaustion.

As they got closer to the gaming consoles, they noted how the older ones were in sight. It felt like the scene was more back in time than what they last recalled. “I remember these old systems,” they murmured, sitting before an old SuperNES. “This old thing hasn't been plugged in for years now.”

Freyja’s fingers caressed the glass case in her grasp, her smile continuing to radiate warmth. “Oh, I remember these games! People loved the silly jumping man ones.”

“Mario, yeah,” they answered with a weak laugh. They shifted through a few of the old titles laying there for them to hunt through. “Man, I remember my friend up the street was the one who had the SEGA, and I had the Nintendo games. We’d often spend the night with one another and either play Sonic or Mario Kart together.”

“Mario Kart?” Her starry eyes glanced over the many titles laying on the floor, not finding the one they were mentioning. “That’s the one where you race, I am assuming.”

It was so weird this woman wouldn't know about Mario Kart, but they passed it off as their mind playing tricks on them. It was a dream, better to humor it.

“Yeah,” they said with a small chuckle. “We didn't play it like we should have. We liked to mess around in stages and drive backwards just to enjoy the look of the levels and everything. Hard to believe I thought games couldn't get any better than that back then.”

Freyja knelt down beside them to get a better look at the game titles. “The characters look very charming.”

They gave a brief smile. “I did find comfort in them on and off through the years. In fact…” They looked over the woman beside them. “... you kind of look like Rosalina. Almost.”

She laughed into her hand. “Oh, that star woman?”

“You know her?”

“I remember you doodling her a lot when you were older, is all.” Her chin rested on the curved dome of the terrarium she held. “I can be her if it makes you feel more comfortable. I don't mind taking on that appearance if you want.”

The way she said that so candidly made them feel a cold sweat cripple their body. “You, uh, can change appearances…?”

“Of course. I am shaped by what you find most comfortable to be around. I don't want to scare you, silly.”

Now this just made it feel more and more like a dream. But the way she spoke and acted… it made her feel more like her own person. “So, what do you look like then?”

Freyja moved her lower lip inward, eyes darting away before locking with theirs once more. “Do you really want to see that?”

They nodded.

She thought about it in silence. “How about this: I’ll show you at the end of this little journey together. How about that? Before you wake up, I’ll let you see the real me.”

If it were any other being, they probably would have found that frightening, but it felt far more gentle and motherly than they would have expected.

Looking back over the games, they felt their mind and heart gnawing at them. The truth was biting rather ravenously at them, causing them to relax on their palms as they reclined back a bit on the floor. “I remember these used to be in the basement though. Mm.. never once did I have the old Nintendo games out unless I was trying to sort memories in boxes.”

“You sound like you don't want to go down there,” Freyja whispered, her cheek nestled against the glass of the star she carried.

“It’s not been used in years, I think. It used to be a bonus room, but I’m sure it’s a mess now.”

“It seems like you’re depressed by that.”

They shook their head, steadily inhaling as if fighting back the truth. “It just kind of used to be my safe haven too in my earlier years. After I was forced out of it…”

She reached over, placing her hand upon their shoulder to squeeze it reassuringly. “But you and your friend spent a lot of time down there. I remember the endless nights of laughter and fun that echoed about those walls.”

Those memories made them want to cry for some reason. As if they were in denial that they were all in the past. “Time is so weird and cruel,” they murmured. “I hate that I can't just rewind time and go back to that specific moment to enjoy it all over again.”

Freyja could sense the pain in that statement, making her lips thin as she tried to comfort them. 

“Just like those old VHS tapes, the memories start to get worn down by how often I replay them again and again in my mind.” They lightly tossed one of the video games to the side. “Eventually, there will be nothing left on those tapes.”

She thought quietly to herself for a moment, fingers tapping upon the terrarium’s glass. “Mm, you worried about the same thing when you wrote a lot of stories and drew a lot of art growing up—you worried you’d lose the feeling of that very moment in time. But, you didn't.” She tried to look them in the eyes as she continued. “Even when you reread those old pieces of you, a part of that time resurfaces.”

“I guess so.”

It was a weary response, one she couldn't help but hum in a somber way towards hearing. “Would you really wish to live in the past and ignore the present and future?”

They went quiet, wondering how to answer that without sounding selfish. “All that awaits me is an end I might not want to see.”

“Or a beautiful one. Neither of us will know if you stay in the past.”

Their eyes looked about the room, glancing back at the door behind them that they knew would lead out to the hallway once more. With a sigh, they got to their feet and made it over towards it to open the door and find themselves staring down the staircase that would take them to the basement.

At the very end of those stairs was only darkness. It looked like the mouth of a void that would swallow them both up. But they had been down these steps before in the dark. Nothing would stop them now. Not even a dream that could possibly twist its maw in hope to frighten them.

Their body felt heavy with each step they took, finally making it past the last step to where they turned the corner and found the old basement opening up to appear as though they last remembered it years ago. When they were a teen. It was an open space with a few support pillars lining the room. Against one there was a foldout sofa and near the wall was the old CRTV.

Even when technology became more advanced over time, nobody in the family had it in them to replace that thing.

“Scary how fast technology grew,” they muttered, placing their hand upon the old device. “I still even remember reminiscing about how I wanted video games to let me explore beyond just a linear path. And now look at where we are.”

Freyja smiled, taking a seat at the old sofa with a playful kicking of her feet. “Funny indeed how life is, huh? Even technology can grow as rapidly as any human.”

For whatever reason, that caused them to smile for a brief moment. “Weirdly poetic but—yeah. I guess even time can age other things too, huh?”

She shrugged, moving her lower lip inward as if to be playful. “Even time can grow old. Just because you don't see something age before your eyes doesn’t mean it’s not experiencing the same aging process as you are. The moment the hours are done for the day and night cycle, it repeats itself as if being reborn again like a phoenix.” She rested her cheek against the curve of the terrarium she held. “In a way, you could say its lifespan is quite short compared to yours.”

They shook their head, breathing out playfully in a way as if to humor her. “I guess so.” Moving from the old TV, they joined Frejya on the sofa. “But… not everybody lives to be over 100. Hell, some people don't even make it past twenty.”

Her usual smile faltered. “You say that as though some lives should be cherished more than others just because of how long or short they live.”

Seeing her frown so somberly made them wish they could return the words they spoke. “Eh, not… exactly what I meant. I guess it’s more envy or a…” Realizing what they wanted to say would sound stupid, they held back.

When the silence of the room made the atmosphere feel thick, she did her best to break it by reaching over and taking their hand into hers. “You know it’s fine to enjoy the here and now, right?” When their eyes met, she continued, “Nothing and nobody is stopping you.”

They wanted to speak against it, but they refused to bring such a thought into their dreams. More than anything, they wanted there to be peace. Their dreams were a place of comfort, and they refused to let it all be eroded away by the pain of life.

The sofa’s felt cover changed texture suddenly, turning to that of freshly dewed grass with a beautiful sunrise blanketing the sky. Trees changed by the loving embrace of fall dotted the distance with brown, yellow and red leaves. Not a single road or house was in sight, though a part of them felt as though they would easily find a small town if they dared venture through the woods. 

It felt like a place they had been many times before, but there was something in the back of their mind telling them they had only visited this world in a dream.

It was another of those moments that made them realize their actual memories could easily be askew with vivid dreams of the past. It had happened before when they were really young, and they knew it would no doubt happen again.

Freyja’s glittering blue eyes gazed around. “It’s lovely here.” She watched as the human took to their feet and ventured through the waist high wheat field, eventually following behind them. Her fingers coiled about the glass container all the more with a bit of a smile. “This place must be somewhere you’ve been often, yes?”

They shook their head, fingers rolling through the many strands of wheat. “Mm, I just love the quiet, I guess. So my mind takes me here now and again.” As if hoping to feel something in this dream, their fingers twirled about a stem of a piece of wheat. It felt like drier grass. Maybe that was what it felt like or should feel like… they weren't sure, as they were never around wheat often. “I’m not brought here often enough though.”

The horizon felt as though it would go on forever as did the land, which outstretched before them. It was an empty world, almost feeling untouched by any and all. A paradise.

“There are some woodlands near my home but I often wonder what it would be like to just live wherever without worry. Like, live in a cabin far from humanity.”

The woman couldn't help but stifle a small laugh at the thought. “Wouldn't it get lonely with just yourself and your thoughts?”

They didn't think about that part. The net was able to bring so many like minded people to their computer screen. They shuttered to think what that would be like where their thoughts would be concerned. “And loud. Yeah.”

As if they thought that one part aloud, Freyja added, “Yeah, the mind can make the quietest of moments loud.” She swayed back and forth on her feet. “But that’s what is beautiful about the mind, yes?” She leaned a bit into their line of sight while keeping the covered star close to her chest. “You can escape anywhere by merely daydreaming, being artistic about the thought, or even just dreaming like this.” The woman closed her eyes, letting the wind toss about the hood and golden hair that could just be seen under it. “You often dreamed of painting such worlds like this, right?”

A smile pulled at the corners of their lips. “Yeah, and while I’m kind of happy where I’ve gotten in that regard… I just wish I had gotten better faster.”

The woman continued to walk forward with them, not caring where they were going. She would gladly follow. “You judge everything based on time. Sounds to me like it’s your enemy.”

Another heavy silence permeated the air before they found it within themselves to speak. “I just don't want to believe my time is nearly up, is all. Like everyone else out there, I am scared of what could await me.”

Even if it was slightly obscured by the shadow of the hood, it was easy for them to note Freyja’s eyebrows raising in curiosity. “Do you know it is?”

“Just like those around me, it sure feels like it.” Their hands took to their head as they let out a quivering sigh. They didn't want to believe it. Any of it. But at the same time, they were fighting back the negativity that was threatening to suffocate the otherwise pleasant dream.

Freyja’s hand rested gently yet firmly upon their shoulder, squeezing it as if to urge without words for them to look at her. Doing so, they saw as the woman stood up straight with the terrarium housing the star resting perfectly in her hands as one held the top of the container and the other held the bottom. “I promised you that I would show you what I looked like without this disguise. Do you want to see it now?”

It was better than the thoughts that were racing through their mind at current—no matter what this woman’s actual body could look like. They nodded.

Her eyes closed and two giant wings that sparkled like the night sky grew from her back. They engulfed her form and in one swift motion they opened once more to reveal an angel standing there looking back. Her eyes were covered by a pair of glistening, dark wings, two other sets above and below them housed eyes staring back at them. The giant wings that took them by surprise earlier also housed a few pair of eyes upon them, but the most noticeable thing beyond that was the fact that the ends of the feathers curved, almost like a hand, holding star lanterns dangling within them. 

Her hair remained the same color as when she was in her disguise, stopping about her upper back, but that’s not what mostly drew their attention. It was the giant ring of a clock that housed an hour and minute hand at the center, pointing to the Roman numerals on the device. It merely seemed to levitate behind her, not bound by anything on her. But even on the golden ring itself, multiple eyes opened and closed while gazing off in different directions.

The gown the woman wore was divided in two—only for them to take note of the open ribcage, decorated with feathers and not bone, and at the center was offered a beautiful gateway to a sea of stars, reminding them of the cosmos.

While a part of them wanted to wake up, something prevented them from doing so. It felt like a strong, reassuring presence, and it dominated the will in regards to wanting to leave.

“An… angel…?” they questioned, taking only a step backward.

The minute hand ticked, that sound almost echoing in their brain like a gentle rumbling. It was a haunting melody.

“I guess so.” Her smile upon her pallid lips broadened, head tilting to the side to subdue any fear that her transformation may have caused. “I can be whatever you need me to be. I said that before.” Her walk forward looked as though she were floating. It was seamless. “I’m here to journey with you. If you’ll allow it, of course.”

The moment her fingertips touched their cheek, an otherworldly warmth cooled their skin. It felt real. And, for whatever reason, that journey they shared with her slowly faded to black.