#this season might have served them both better if they broke up after that revelation

[boasamishipper]

“tarlos is endgame” okay but like. Should They Be

[spencersstrawberryjello]

Revelations (Spencer Reid x fem!MC)

Summary: SPOILERS FOR SEASON TWO As everything goes down with Tobias Hankel, Aria and the BAU have to find him before it’s too late. Once they do, Aria takes Spencer home and comforts him. 

Content: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Descriptions of torture and violence (all related to Reid’s abduction in season two), swearing, kidnapping and emotional turmoil

MC’s name and pronouns: Aria (are-ee-ah) Glenn, she/her

Word Count: 5024 (it’s a long one folks so buckle up - it ended up being almost ten full pages lmao)

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“Hey,” I looked up from my phone to see Emily standing in the doorway. “Can I sit?”

I gestured to the space on the bed beside me, in the small house that made me nauseous. Thinking about the fact that the bed I was sitting on right now belonged to the man who had kidnapped Spencer made me want to both punch something and throw up. Emily came and sat beside me, turning to face me as I did the same. Her voice was soft when she spoke, studying my face. 

“How are you doing?” She asked. It was a question she already knew the answer to, and I scoffed.

“We’re both profilers, Prentiss. You tell me; how do you think I’m doing?” I snapped. Immediately afterwards, guilt flared through my chest, and I sighed, shaking my head. “I’m sorry. It’s just - well, you know. I don’t think any of us are in a good state of mind right now.”

I dropped my gaze back to my hands, resting in my lap. She took them, directing my attention back to her as she spoke. 

“Glenn. We all care about Reid, and we’re all doing everything we possibly can to get him back. But I know that your relationship with him is… different. You kind of disappeared earlier, I just wanted to check on you.”

“I just couldn’t watch that anymore,” My chest tightened just thinking about the sight of Spencer, tied to a chair, being forced to decide who lives and who dies. He looked so broken -

I forced myself away from that train of thought, taking my hands out of Emily’s to press them to my eyes in an attempt to ward away the tears I felt rising again. 

I’ve cried so much in the past two days I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to again. 

“I understand,” She moved my hands so I’d look into her eyes again. “I just wanted you to know we’re all here for you, ok? We’re all in this together, we’re all worried about him. You’re not alone in what you’re feeling.”

I nodded, and she pulled me into a tight hug, one I returned gratefully. The moment was interrupted by Derek flying into the room, with a statement that made my heart drop. 

“The live feed is back on,” He announced, clearly intending for Emily and I to come with him. I knew that watching the videos was the best way for us to figure out where the hell this guy took Spencer, but the idea of seeing him in that cabin again made me want to throw up. I immediately started to shake my head, a childlike reflex to the statement. 

“No. No, I can’t, I -” I wanted nothing more than to be curled up in his arms right now. 

This all felt like one massive nightmare. I wished I could just wake up, scared before I realized he was safe in his apartment, laying in bed with me. I would turn over and press a quick kiss to his lips, not enough to wake him up but enough that I could appreciate his presence even more after imagining the worst possibility, before burying myself back in the warmth of his embrace…  

“Aria. Hey,” Emily had her hand on my arm, pulling me out of my fantasy. My mind had started to take over, to take me into a daydream that was safer than the turmoil that had become our reality. “I know this is hard. But the more people we have working on this, the better the odds of us finding him are.”

“I hate to say it, but you guys need to hurry. We have no idea how long he’s going to be live.”

I felt like I was going to pass out when I stood up, making my way into the computer room that had become Garcia’s base for the past two days. My attention focused immediately on the screen displaying the live feed of Spencer. Emily was still standing next to me, and she reached out, giving my arm a quick squeeze to make sure I knew she was right there. I nodded my appreciation, but I couldn’t break my eyes away from the video.

He looked exhausted. Exhausted, and in pain, physically and mentally. 

I didn’t know how much more of this he could handle. 

“This ends now.” Charles Hankel’s voice was one I knew would be at the center of my nightmares for years to come; and if that was how I felt, I couldn’t imagine what Spencer was feeling right now. I didn’t think I wanted to. “Confess your sins.”

I dug my nails into my palms, trying to steady my breathing. I could tell Spencer was trying not to cry, and for a moment I thought Charles wasn’t going to do anything before he moved closer to the chair, punching him hard in the face. A sob escaped my lips, and I clamped my hand over my mouth, trying to silence myself as I watched him beat him, over and over, demanding he confess to the sins he hasn’t committed.

I looked around the room, and I knew we were all feeling a very similar set of emotions right now. It’s just a matter of what was the strongest. Garcia was trembling from her seat in front of the computers. Derek looked like he was going to genuinely kill somebody, and JJ looked like she was going to be sick. Hotch and Gideon were watching with nothing but fatherly worry, and even Emily looked like she couldn’t breathe.

“Tobias, help me,” His voice was so quiet we could hardly hear it through the camera speaker, Spencer begging for some kind of rescue. He was crying openly now, and I knew that I was silently doing the same as Charles hit him again before pushing the chair backwards, causing Spencer to fall to the ground. 

At first I thought he’d passed out. But then I noticed him convulsing. 

“Oh my god,” Garcia was the first one to say something, her voice breaking as we watched Spencer gasping for air, unable to do anything but observe from the other side of a screen, “He’s killing him.”

I felt myself starting to spiral again, unable to even speak, wanting so badly to leave but knowing I’d never forgive myself if I did. So I stood there and watched the man I love thrash on the ground while Charles Hankel just stood over him, watching him die without even blinking. It wasn’t until Spencer stopped moving that he spoke. 

“That’s the devil vacating your body.” 

Spencer wasn’t moving.

Spencer Reid was dead. 

He was lying dead on the floor in a cabin in the middle of who-the-fuck knows where and there was absolutely nothing I could do to help him. 

Suddenly I couldn’t breathe. 

“No…” Was all I was able to say. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the image of Spencer’s body on the floor, still tied to that chair, abandoned as Charles Hankel left the room, leaving the camera still rolling. Gideon stormed out of the room - I thought I heard the bathroom door slam - and everyone immediately jumped into action, leaving Garcia and I alone staring at the unchanging computer screen.

“Come on baby, wake up. Please, for the love of god, please wake up.”

It felt like my mind was speedrunning the five stages of grief as I muttered under my breath, begging to a man who couldn’t even hear me. Who had no control over whether he lived or died. 

Garcia hadn’t moved either, her breath coming in shallow gasps as she stared at the screen. I moved over to her, grabbing her hand in mine, both of us trying desperately to comfort each other after the scene we just witnessed, unable to process what happened enough to even speak. After a moment, Hotch came back into the room, opening his mouth to say something to Penelope when something finally changed on the video in front of us. 

Charles Hankel had come back into the room.

Except it wasn’t Charles this time, it was Tobias, running over to Spencer’s body and immediately starting CPR in an attempt to save his life. Hotch called everyone back into the room, all of us gathered around the screen. After what felt like years, we heard it.

Spencer finally coughed. 

He woke up, and I thought I was going to cry from relief. I might’ve actually been crying; honestly I’d spent most of the last two days in a constant state of either crying or about-to-be crying, so it wouldn’t have come as much surprise. Everyone let out varying gasps of relief before getting to work again, deducing that Hankel would have to be within a 17-mile radius of the crime scene to have killed those people and then uploaded the video in the time frame that he did. Hotch was about to leave before we noticed Hankel’s demeanor change yet again as he stood over Spencer, who was still stuck on the floor. 

“You came back to life.” 

“Raphael.” 

“There can be only one of two reasons.”

“I was given CPR.”

“There are no accidents.”

Whatever momentary relief I got from seeing Spencer alive faded the moment Raphael began to ask questions. 

Questions about us. 

“He thinks it’s Revelation,” Hotch stated, concern filling his usually even tone. “The 7 Archangels versus the 7 Angels of Death.”

“Tell me who you serve.”

“I serve you.”

“Then choose one to die.”

My hand flew back up to my mouth as I processed the command, watching Spencer’s face crumble with the realization as well. 

“Kill me.” The words made my heart break, and I found myself desperately fighting the edge of tears, yet again. 

Damn, I really hated having emotions.

“Tell me who dies.”

“No.”

Raphael reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a revolver and pointing it straight at Spencer’s forehead. It was a game of Russian Roulette, and I genuinely thought I might puke from the omnipresent anxiety making my knees weak. 

“I can’t -” I broke, turning away from the screen and into Derek’s arms as he pulled me into a hug. I hated not watching, but it was more than I could bear. It was all I could do just to listen as Spencer denied his request over and over again, each time the click of the trigger bringing him closer and closer to a bullet in the brain. 

“I choose… Aaron Hotchner.”

The sentence made me snap my gaze back to the screen, not breaking the hug but watching attentively as Spencer quoted a Bible verse. Hotch, however, left the room as soon as Spencer had finished speaking, everyone trailing out into the main room after him. 

“Hey, he’s alive. He’s alive,” Derek comforted me as everyone followed Hotch.

It’s truly a sign of how fucked up the situation is when the only comfort is that he hasn’t died yet.

Or at least, not permanently. 

I nodded, and broke the hug, following after everyone who had already found Hotch again. He was holding a Bible, quickly explaining that Spencer misquoted the verse. 

Misquoted the verse on purpose.

We’d found him.

We piled into the cars, my heart racing a mile a minute as we sped down the abandoned country roads, pulling up to an empty plantation, with nothing but trees in sight for miles aside from a small cabin and a cemetery surrounding it. 

We checked the cabin first.

Clear.

It wasn’t until we started making our way across the grounds that we heard it. 

A gunshot. 

“Oh god please don’t let that have been for Reid,” JJ echoed exactly what the rest of us were thinking. We followed the sound, Hotch calling out his name as we ran towards it. Finally, we saw him, hunched over the dying body of Tobias Hankel. 

Hotch took off in a sprint, approaching Spencer first, placing a gentle hand on his arm before Spencer pulled him into a tearful hug. He did the same to JJ, until I finally moved into view. 

He looked like he’d been to hell and back. He could hardly support his own weight, he was sweating, bruised, and there was an open wound on his forehead. But I’d never been happier to see him. 

I wasted no time pulling him into a hug, finally not trying to keep the tears at bay. For a moment, neither of us said anything, we just held each other, both of us crying in the cold night air. 

“I thought I’d lost you,” I finally said, pulling back from the hug to look at his eyes. A small smile came over his face, and I’d never seen anything more beautiful. He was still crying, and I brought my hands up to cup his face, wiping the tears from his cheeks. He was very clearly out of it, and I guided him to put his arm around my shoulders, helping him walk back to the cars, whispering reassurances the entire way there. 

“Wait!” He protested, “I have to do something first.”

He turned back towards Tobias’ body, and I let him go, giving him a moment to do whatever it was he needed as he limped over to the corpse. I turned back to the team, noticing Hotch looking at me with curiosity. Seeing as the only person who knows about Spencer and I’s relationship was Emily, it didn’t really come as a shock that I’d be getting strange looks. But honestly, I couldn’t bring myself to care.

“He’s probably going to need to go to a hospital,” Hotch said. We nodded our agreement, knowing there was an ambulance waiting back at Tobias Hankel’s house. 

Spencer rejoined the group, and I helped him the rest of the way back to the car. I wanted nothing more than to hold him in the backseat, but there wasn’t enough space and I didn’t want to draw more suspicion by asking JJ to move. So I climbed into the front seat next to Derek, who was driving. He shot me a look, and I just shrugged, not confirming or denying anything. 

The drive back felt significantly shorter now that he was safe with us, and when we got back, we followed the ambulance to the hospital. Despite the fact that they definitely didn’t need an 8-person FBI escort to take Spencer into the hospital, Gideon didn’t even ask us whether or not we wanted to go. It was just assumed. 

We’d gathered in the waiting room, everyone waiting to hear the extent of what that monster put him through. I was sitting in the chair closest to the hall, and immediately sprang to my feet when I saw the doctor round the corner. 

“What all did he do to him?” I demanded. 

“He had a pretty nasty gash on his forehead that we had to stitch up,” He started, “And his face is pretty bruised. Same with the bottom of his left foot. It’s a miracle it wasn’t broken.”

We nodded along to him speaking, and he paused for a second before revealing the worst detail.

“We also found a series of needle marks on his right arm. Traces of Dilaudid were still in his system.”

We’d assumed they’d drugged him - he wouldn’t have seized the way he did if they hadn’t, not to mention that JJ found records of Tobias Hankel’s addiction to narcotics - but hearing confirmation made my chest tight. 

“What does that mean for him?” Hotch asked. 

“Well, Dilaudid is addictive. It’s a narcotic painkiller; you’ll want to keep an eye on him in the next couple of weeks and note any strange behaviors you might see him exhibiting.”

We all nodded our understanding, and the doctor wrapped up what he was saying.

“Other than that, he just needs rest. We gave him water and something to eat, so honestly the best thing for him right now is to go home, get a shower and get some sleep. He might have some trouble putting a lot of weight on his right foot, but there’s not really anything we can do for that because it isn’t actually broken, just badly bruised. We’re going to send him home with crutches, but someone might want to stay with him for tonight, if one of you is comfortable with that.”

“I’ll stay with him,” I offered before anyone else could open their mouths. Emily’s eyes snapped to mine, and I cleared my throat, trying not to sound too eager, “If he’s ok with that, of course. I’ll have to ask him.”

The doctor just nodded. “Sounds good. Whoever is in charge here can see the front desk for further information.”

Gideon started towards the front desk, gesturing for Hotch to follow him as they went to talk to some people, leaving me standing in front of Garcia, Morgan, Prentiss, and JJ, all of whom were looking at me with varying looks of suspicion. Except Emily, who just looked vaguely amused.

“Anything you want to talk to us about, Glenn?” JJ asked. 

“Nothing at all,” I denied, trying to fight the small smile on my face. I could tell just by looking at them that they all knew, at this point it was hard not to at least assume. Not to mention they were all experts in human behavior - let’s just say it was hard to hide things from them. But JJ just shook her head with a shallow laugh, returning to her seat. However, she quickly stood back up when Spencer came around the corner, supporting his weight with a pair of plain gray crutches. 

“Spence,” She immediately crossed the room to him, looking him over with concern, “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” He offered her a small smile, but it wasn’t real. We all knew it, and she pulled

him into a hug, being careful not to make him fall. 

“I should’ve never let you go off on your own. I’m so sorry -” She started to apologize, but he cut her off. 

“JJ, stop. It’s not your fault; splitting up was my idea. No one had any way of knowing what was going to happen. I mean, there was a 50-50 shot that either of us could’ve run into him, we had no evidence he’d even left the barn at all.”

She let out a shaky breath, nodding. “I’m just glad you’re ok.”

“Me too.”

“We’re going to go back to the BAU so everyone can get their cars.”

He nodded his understanding, and he gave everyone a hug before Hotch and Gideon came back from the front desk. As much as he tried to appear normal, the events of the past two days hung heavy in the air. And we only knew what we saw on the videos, we had no idea the extent of what he’d gone through. I don’t know if we ever would. 

Even just the fact that he was hugging people was a testament to the way he was feeling. He usually didn’t even like to shake hands, but he was clinging to our friends like they were the only thing keeping him grounded. 

Hotch and Gideon rounded the corner, Hotch’s face softening the moment he saw Spencer, pulling him into another hug. 

“Alright, let’s get back to the BAU so you can go home and get some rest,” Gideon said. Spencer nodded, all of us piling back into the two vans we’d taken to Tobias Hankel’s house. JJ shot me a look before climbing into the passenger seat, allowing me to take her place in the back with Spencer, sitting shoulder to shoulder in the car. Once we started driving, I turned and whispered to him. 

“I wanted to come back home with you. Is that ok?” I asked. He gave me a small nod, and I smiled, giving his arm a squeeze. I desperately wanted to press a soft kiss to his lips, but I had already been way too physically affectionate with him today for us being at work. 

We all went our separate ways, though it was clear that everyone was reluctant to let Spencer out of their sight again. I reminded them I’d be with him, and promised that I’d update them once he fell asleep so they knew everyone was ok. It might’ve been selfish of me, but I was excited to be alone with him. I just wanted to be able to comfort him without having to worry about if everyone thought we were dating. 

To be fair, we technically weren’t dating. We’d never really defined the relationship.

We elected to take my car, since I was going to be driving. The more time we spent away from the group, the more I saw Spencer retreating. We walked to the car in silence, and he climbed in the passenger seat, zoning out staring through the windshield.

I reached over and gave his hand a light squeeze.

“I love you babe. Don’t know what I’d do without you,” I told him. He didn’t move his gaze, just squeezed my hand back in response before allowing me to return both hands to the wheel. We drove the rest of the way home with no sound but the radio turned down to a low volume. When I finally pulled into the parking lot for his apartment complex, he didn’t even blink. I turned the car off, going around to the other side to help him out of the car and into his apartment.

“Do you want me to get you something to eat? Or some water?” I offered as I unlocked the front door. He just shook his head.

“I just want to go to sleep.”

“You need to shower, Spencer.”

He nodded again, allowing me to lead him to the bathroom. 

“Do you think you can stand? Or do you want me to draw you a bath?” I asked. 

“Bath would be better,” He said, propping his crutches up against the sink. I knew he hadn’t broken his foot, but he still winced as he put more of his weight on it so that he could pull off his sweater and begin to unbutton the shirt he had on underneath it. 

“You’re ok with me being in here?” I had assumed he would be, but I wanted to clarify as he finished unbuttoning his shirt, slipping it off. He just nodded, starting to undo his pants as I filled the bath with warm water. I shut the water off when it was filled enough that he could sit comfortably in it, and I held his arm, helping him sink into the warm water. 

“Do you want my help babe?” I asked. He nodded again, still not speaking. I didn’t try to press him with any conversation, I just slipped out of my work clothes and slid into the bath next to him, grabbing the washcloth from the side of the bathtub and dipping it in the warm water, lathering up the soap and starting to gently wash along his shoulders, scrubbing away the dirt and grime. He winced when I got to his wrists, and I noticed that the skin was rubbed raw, red from where he’d been restrained. I drew in a shaky breath, unsure of whether or not I was going to cry or punch someone. Instead, I just planted a soft kiss on his lips before washing down the rest of his body. 

I put the washcloth away and moved on to his hair, moving so that my chest was pressed to his back. I lathered the shampoo through his hair, and he sunk back against me, his eyes closing from the gentle touch. 

“You’re safe with me, baby. I’ve got you,” I whispered reassurances in his ear, trying to help him relax as I finished cleaning him up. “How’s your head?”

My eyes had flashed up to the bandaged gash on his forehead, and I reached one hand up to gently brush his hair back away from it. He had opened his eyes now, just staring at the water, not really here. His voice was barely above a whisper, and it broke my heart. 

“It hurts,” He murmured.

“I’m so sorry, Spencer,” I said, holding him closer to me as if it could somehow soothe his pain, both physically and mentally. “I am so, so sorry that this happened to you. You didn’t deserve any of this.”

“Didn’t I?”

The question took me by surprise, and I didn’t even have a chance to protest before he elaborated.

“I abandoned my mother. I could’ve helped her - I mean, I could’ve learned to help her. Instead I sent her away… he told me to confess my sins. And when I thought of my sins, all I could see was her face. I left her, Aria.”

“Spencer. Look at me.” I lightly put my hand under his chin, guiding him to meet my eyes. “Your mother needed help from a medical professional, someone who was specialized in understanding her condition. You didn’t abandon her - Spencer, you helped her. It’s not a sin to get someone the help that they need.”

“I know that. Logically, I know that. But…”

He trailed off, but he didn’t need to say anymore. I just nodded.

“I know, baby. But you didn’t deserve what Hankel did to you. You’re a good person, Spencer Reid. One of the best I know, and I’m not just saying that because I’m in love with you. You really are an incredible man, and,” I bit my lip, forcing back the tears that were stinging my eyes, “And you deserved so much better than this.”

He didn’t reply, he just leaned forward, kissing me again. It was harder this time, like he was putting all his feelings into moving his lips against mine. I kissed him back with just as much emotion, trying to tell him how much I loved him without saying anything at all. 

“Thank you,” He whispered, and I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close to me for a moment.

“Spencer, you have no idea how grateful I am for you.”

“And I for you,” He replied semi-dramatically, making me grin and bringing a small smile to his face. It wasn’t much, but it was something positive. 

“Alright Shakespeare, let me get dried off and then I’ll help you out,” I teased, grabbing my towel off the hook and drying my damp hair before wrapping it around myself and grabbing his hand, helping him up and guiding him to lean up against the sink while I grabbed his towel and offered it to him. 

“I don’t even have the energy to correct the historical inaccuracy of your Shakespeare joke,” He said, drying himself off as I left the bathroom to grab pajamas from his dresser. I grabbed him one of his t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants, and I grabbed myself one of his sweaters, slipping it on before going back into the bathroom and giving him the clothes I’d grabbed, hanging my towel back up as he changed.

When I turned back, he’d put on the pajamas, and was in the process of grabbing his crutches. With every move, his expression changed, betraying just how much pain he was in. I put my hand on his shoulder, supporting him as he made his way back out to his room, immediately sitting down on the bed and letting the crutches fall to the ground. 

“Son of a bitch,” He muttered. I just sat down next to him, putting my arm around him so he could lean his head on my shoulder. 

“Hey. You’re alright,” I held him close to me, rubbing his shoulder in a slight comfort. 

“I’m tired,” He yawned, and I nodded. 

He stretched out on the bed behind me, and I scooted over next to him, pulling the comforter over both of us. 

“Can I hold you, baby?” I asked. He nodded, and I curled up against him, holding him tight to my chest. I tucked my head into the crook of his neck from behind, feeling his steady breathing against me. 

It didn’t really surprise me when I felt his breathing pick up - I assumed his mind would probably wander once he had quiet time to think - but it made my heart wrench when I heard him crying softly. 

“Spencer…” I pulled him closer to me, running one hand through his hair and placing soft kisses along his jawline, trailing down his neck. There was nothing sexual about it, simply gentle affection as he cried. 

He rolled over suddenly so he was facing me, immediately crushing me in a tight hug, crying openly into my shoulder. I continued to run one of my hands through his hair, the other gently tracing slow circles on his back under his shirt, trying to ground him as he attempted to process everything he’d gone through. 

“You’re safe with me baby. I’m never letting anything happen to you again, I promise.”

“You can’t make a promise like that,” He argued through his tears, “No one can make a promise like that. You know our line of work; there’s no way you can ensure my safety.”

“That’s true,” I conceded, “But as long as I have any say in it, I will protect you. And that’s a promise.”

His crying had quieted, and he sniffled, nodding into my shoulder. I kept him close to me, and eventually he drifted off to sleep, tears still staining his face. 

[douxreviews]

Game of Thrones - ‘Winterfell’ Review

Six episodes over two months to close a story the author hasn't been able to finish in 20 years.

It could work.

As 'Winterfell' kicks off the show's ultimate season, I can't imagine I've been alone in a certain trepidation that Things Might Just Go To Hell. George Martin has only delivered "sporadic verses" pertaining to the saga over the last seven years, and I couldn't help but feel certain parts of last season uninspired, as if the showrunners were treading water through key parts of the storyline, hoping against hope that George might finally get his thumb out of his... ehm, and actually deliver.

Surely after one paltry episode it's too early to tell, but my feeling is that David and Daniel have given up that hope, and the show might be better for it. While hardly a perfect installment, sometimes even a bit clumsy in execution and dialogue, what I am left with is a true sense of urgency and a driving force set in motion.

By now it's painfully clear that George has painted himself into a corner – twisting not one but two dozen knots on himself and finding it impossible to reach the end in any graceful fashion. Fortunately, the producers have not. It's always been stated that safeguarding against a disaster (as in Martin relocating six feet under,) the producers were provided with an outline of how the show must end. Some people doubted this. I was mildly skeptical. Now I'm certain.

George may be tasked with his own impossible standards. While I'm certainly no world-class author, considering my own erratic output lately... I could relate.

The writing team of Benioff, Weiss, Sandhu, and Antonucci – the second pair both young and remarkably scoring their very first writing credits at this super-heavyweight event – are not similarly burdened. They are television writers and producers; their job is to write scripts and produce, and from what it seems they're hellbent on doing it. Also, their task is to work towards a known end, and that might be a rare luxury for people in the business. The whole essence of 'Winterfell' is purposeful setup, as they are dealing the hands for the final run.

This review won't talk about the great scenery, the music, the technical aspects of the direction or any of that. You've all seen that and I may not even be qualified to say much on some of it. The main reasons being I don't watch anything for technical aspects or to count the occasional missteps or insignificant blunders. I watch for content, and 'Winterfell' serves plenty, some not even quite that obvious.

Thus this review will just focus on a few key scenes of the episode.

The first one would be the reunion of Jon and Arya. The show's been pouring these sentimental moments over us lately, to the point where there's gone inflation in the Stark hugfests, but even if they aren't really that important, this one had merit. For one, it's the one reunion scene all fans of the show have been rooting for since the very first episodes. For the other, this has to be the first time we get to see Arya smiling and happy, almost acting like a little girl again, since her father was decapitated. Even her look of awe as she first lays eyes on her brother again, heading the giant army marching into their home, is absolutely fantastic.

The second, less pleasant and more significant, involves Cersei's decision to task Bron with murdering both her brothers, veering dangerously close to putting her in comic book villain territory. Killing Tyrion? Sure, I can buy that, I'm wondering why she hasn't been harder at work on it for years.

Jaime? No. True, they did not depart on the best of terms, but this is the closest thing Cersei's had to that "one true love" in all her life. Furthermore, I can't even think of an earlier time where Jaime openly defies her will, and his motive isn't even to spite her – it's to make good on his word. One could argue that an extension of their unofficial family motto. Making sense of her reaction, one could assume she isn't capable of entering any real emotional relationship where the counterpart isn't her slave and she isn't in total control of everything.

Crossing this line strips her of all redeeming qualities as a person, and her subsequent bored hookup with Euron – arrogant and self-assured like the Jaime of old, but also a perverted and sadistic thug with no moral stature or higher calling whatsoever, but a shade or two removed from Ramsay Bolton – feels both earned and appalling.

I don't know why the show takes this step. It could be a catalyst to bond the two feuding Lannister brothers together, or maybe the writers are prepared to sacrifice some of Cersei's believability as a character for some central purpose. That doesn't make it good, and I'm left on the fence on this one.

The third scene is Jon and Dany's romantic getaway with the dragons. Like Jon and Arya, this is heavy fan-service – the kids want dragons, we got to give them dragons, and hey look, how cool, Jon's riding a dragon!

Reducing it to that would overlook the dramatic purpose of the scene, which is easy and something I've tried to hammer in for years when it comes to writing couples in conflict. Jon and Dany need a happy moment. The audience needs to be shown they're in love and know what they're fighting for as well as what they have to lose.

...shipping it.

And this brings us to the fourth scene, namely, Dany's standoff with Sam over her murder of his father and brother. Now, this was truly heartbreaking, and its importance cannot be overstated, as this may mark the beginning of her undoing.

It could be exaggerated or plain wrong as things play out – though I really don't think so – but I'd wager that dramatically, this is the episode where Daenerys the Protagonist dies. At the very least, the poison's in the wound. She started the victim, progressed the hero and is now found out the would-be tyrant.

It's true, other people considered both noble and worthy by the show have killed many men by the laws of their lands, but what Dany is guilty of is executing prisoners of war in order to scare her foes into submission, and that's hardly noble. Through this episode, circumstances cause the perfect storm to have her cruelty come back to bite her – in a rare occasion for Game of Thrones, this is the one bad deed that won't go unpunished.

Anyone who'd think this could go away – we've never seen Sam truly angry before, hurt to his very core and or using all his guns to hurt someone as he does Dany through the revelation of Jon's birthright. For such a gentle soul, this is quietly frightening. He's both clever, determined and arguably even righteous in his hatred. This will only solve through the destruction of the other party, and Sam's been Jon's best friend since the very first episodes.

Some people thought the show was sweeping Dany's flaws under the rug to keep her the shining figurehead. That was wrong. On the contrary, the way the scene plays out shows a nuanced understanding of the spirit of the source material on the part of the screenwriters. It doesn't even matter if it's the same understanding as the original author's, since it's now the show's ultimate job to succeed on its own merits.

While I guess nobody really cares, one month ago I developed a case of serious loathing of American television and cinema, their overused tropes and painting-by-numbers morality, to the point I could no longer stand to watch any.

Remarkably, Game of Thrones, the biggest American show of the decade, broke through, simply through the virtue of understanding and staying true to itself.

Thanks for that.

Thomas Ijon Tichy

[aion-rsa]

Twenty Years After Alias, TV Still Needs More Sydney Bristows

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Genre TV fans owe a lot to the spy drama Alias. Premiering twenty years ago this week (just..how??), Alias was a near-instant critical and commercial success thanks to its near-perfect pilot episode. It went on to run for five seasons full of ambitious, go-for-broke storytelling that featured rich character dynamics and wasn’t afraid to take risks, even when those risks didn’t always pay off the way we might have initially hoped.

The show launched the career of director/auteur J.J. Abrams (and you can feel however you need to feel about that in hindsight), turned star Jennifer Garner into a household name, and gave us some of the best fight sequences in television history. Alias also laid a lot of the groundwork for many of the television trends that would become commonplace in the years following its debut: Dense, confusing internal mythology, highly serialized narratve arcs, and a palpable sense that even its ostensibly one-off episodes somehow connected to a larger whole beyond themselves. (Plus, the existence of weird MacGuffins that everyone desperately just had to find or have, but that still served no real purpose in the larger story.) 

To put it another way: In many ways, Alias was doing a lot of things that Lost did, before Lost made all those things cool. 

Plenty of shows—including several of the ones Abrams himself went on to work on—copied a lot of what Alias did well. From puzzle box mysteries to twisty in-episode flashbacks (that ubiquitous 24 hours earlier card!), and cliffhangers that seamlessly led into a subsequent installment, this show is responsible for a lot of what we now see as the bones of a modern-day genre property in the age of peak TV. Yet, as we consider Alias’ legacy two decades on, perhaps the most frustrating thing is perhaps what didn’t get stolen or copied into infinity: Sydney Bristow herself. 

This isn’t, of course, to say that female-fronted spy dramas disappeared once Alias went off the air. In many ways, everything about Marvel’s Black Widow essentially feels like Alias but with superheroes, even down to the messy Russian family dynamics thrown on top. Amazon Prime’s Hanna will certainly provide a welcome balm for those with a female-led high octane thriller shaped hole in their lives. And The CW’s Nikita always felt more like Alias’ spiritual younger cousin more than it did a La Femme Nikita remake. But given just how many shows went on to copy so much of what helped make Alias popular, the fact that most of them ignored the female lead at the center of the story is incredibly disappointing. 

Read more

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Perhaps it shouldn’t surprise any of us that network television chose to prioritize stories about male characters (yet again!) when given the opportunity to do otherwise, but the thing is, Alias would never have worked without Sydney. In fact, her character—along with Garner’s dedicated and emotional performance—was the often only thing that held the show together during its later seasons, as its stories became increasingly outlandish and nonsensical. (Clones! Quasi-magical Renaissance artifacts! Sloane trying to become immortal!)

Because, as heroines go, Sydney Bristow was always just so refreshingly normal, despite the existence of her often over-the-top side hustle. Yes, she was improbably balancing graduate school assignments with international espionage and global jet-setting (surely this girl invested a lot of money in a top-of-the-line under-eye concealer?), but the heart of Sydney’s story was always firmly grounded in the relationships in her life.

 From her constantly evolving connection with her estranged father Jack – who was also an undercover spy master – to the revelation that her presumed dead mother was very much alive and the whole Season 2 subplot where her beloved roommate Francie was murderered and replaced by an imposter, the only reason these stories worked at all was thanks to Sydney’s human connection to the increasingly outlandish things happening around her.

Because at the end of the day, Sydney was still just a regular woman. She saved the world without any sort of special powers beyond her ability to think on her feet and fight in a series of increasingly outlandish disguises. She was often as in the dark about what the heck was actually happening as we the viewers were, yet faced everything thrown at her with bravery and determination. And despite her own fequent fear and confusion, she still chose day after day, to do what was right, even when it would have been so much easier for her to simply walk away..

And perhaps even more importantly, Sydney was a butt-kicking action heroine that was also allowed to embrace her emtions without excuse or apology. Who can forget the rawness of her reaction to Danny’s murder? The slowly dawning horror as she realized she lost two years of her life without knowing it? The emotional gut-punch of learning the man she loved had married someone else? Yet, Alias never judged Sydney for the depth of her ability to feel things – in fact, it was one of her most obvious strengths. 

Yet, after Alias’ end, we somehow didn’t see an immediate glut of new action series fronted by women pop up. We didn’t exactly see a deluge of programs fronted by emotionally complex female characters doing their best in difficult and often really bizarre circumstances either. Heck, even Abrams himself essentially abandoned the premise. Yes, he went on to give us groundbreaking genre shows like Lost and Fringe, but while both of those series featured memorable female characters—Olivia Dunham forever—their  primary narratives still revolved around their male leads. 

And in the years since, as the primetime television landscape has shifted even more firmly toward procedurals and a seemingly endless string of shows about doctors, firefighters, and police officers, there has seemed to be less space than ever for a character like Sydney or a show like Alias to flourish. 

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Would Alias even get made today? Possibly—but probably on a cable network or streaming service, where genre and female-focused properties have often found homes in the twenty years since Sydney Bristow first donned that candy red wig. But where are our butt-kicking, big hearted female leads on mainstream network TV? It seems impossible that two decades should have passed and we’re still asking this question—and yet. Here’s hoping the next twenty do better. 

The post Twenty Years After Alias, TV Still Needs More Sydney Bristows appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[restorerjourney]

Week 5 of 7 in Mazatlán

July 31, 2021

This week started with hardships for me personally but ended with victories, deeper unity with Christ and our team, and freedom. When I create my weekly reels on instagram for this week I was surprised to realize that there were so many clips of us dancing with flags which represents freedom! Freedom is not just a feeling but a revelation of who we are and what God has given us the authority over. It’s a lot to take it in and I feel that I might understand it more in hindsight what God is making us go through as a team. 

To start off, like I said before the beginning of week was really rough. One of our team members decided to start a relationship with another team member at a different DTS and they both are here in Mazatlan. The rules were clear when we signed up for DTS that during DTS we shouldn’t start dating with another DTS student because we want this season to fully focus on God. It sounds harmless to date, but now as a team we could see the repercussions. Although the leaders were lenient during our lecture phase, during outreach phase they drew the line clear that they should put their relationship on pause only until after the outreach is over. This is because we are going as a team..we are in a foreign country..our purpose is to serve the nation that we are going to..etc etc. It’s obvious why, but that couple struggled and despite them thinking it was a private matter, it affected our team’s unity and trust. Long story short, God intervened in our team..in his heart..and in mine. The old Alicia would have been apathetic about how he felt and focused more on the boundaries that we crossed, but I felt the Lord change my heart during DTS. The Lord really guided me on how to approach my fellow team member who is like my little brother and learn to not judge him but to empathize with him. God showed me how to be with him in the hurting yet teach him the effects of the choices you make and how there will always be a cause and effect in life. It took so much out of me, but I am so glad God intervened the way he did and because we all do fear the Lord, were able to come back together as one. They decided to obey the Lord, to submit to the leaders and the rules, and surrender their relationship to God. It was a fight worth fighting for and I feel like I’m learning a glimpse of what parenting could actually look like LOL ( Dear Lord have mercy). 

Literally almost every day or every other day, one of our team member would be spiritually attacked. But I see each time that it happens, we would all gather, interceded, pray, declare God’s truth, repent, and be restored. It’s so exhausting but so beautiful. This time I got attacked mid-week when I was getting impatient of not getting my period and letting doubt enter my mind. I knew God told me that I was healed and to trust in His promises just like Abraham had to trust God when he was told to sacrifice Isaac. It made no sense why I was going through this...I was feeling “God why did you even let me go through that healing process? Wouldn’t it been better if I didn’t go through it?”. and that’s when I realized I had to repent of this old habit of mine that I allow myself to think that my ways are better than God’s. God told me I was healed, he told me it was my declaration of no longer agreeing to self-hatred that restored me, and to trust in His promises that I will be a mom one day. I just was getting so tired of waiting, not knowing, so I asked a sister from a different DTS to pray for me. When she prayed for me with another friend it was pretty weird. She was shaking and screaming and although she warned me about it before, I was kind of scared. During the entire time of praying I didn’t hear much from the Lord but just focused my eyes on him. She shared that she felt so much strongholds over me and that I need to repent of any ancestral sins. I prayed about it but God didn’t really highlight anytime for me. I then shared that experience with my parents and they were pissed haha. They were like “ who told you this? What are they teaching you”..and I realize then it was their involuntary parental bear instinct that was coming out of them because they didn’t agree with what she said at all. And then that’s when I realized, did I personally hear anything from God about it...and the answer was no, but I believed her. I started to question everything and everyone who prayed over me and that I believed without going before God and confirming it. 

I realized then that I was getting too comfortable of getting prophetic words and relying on someone’s physical voice speaking over me compared to the internal voice that I hear from God which requires faith. I had to repent and was reminded by God that I hear His voice best for me and that’s because of Jesus. That usually when people pray or have a prophetic word for me, it’s to confirm what was already told to me. Just because some random person comes up to you and speaks something true about your life and it sounds good, if you don’t hear this from the Lord yourself or if he doesn’t confirm it...it’s probably not from God. They say it like this, if you get a prophetic word, just put it on a shelf, don’t just directly receive it. I knew what God said to me the day I got healed a month ago and I am given a chance again to cling on to God’s timing.

Because the pandemic is still pretty bad here we are still limited to not be able to continue our alpha course or go to Stone Island, but we’ve been doing intercessory prayer. We also got to do bible distribution at a new neighborhood. The moment we got off the trucks, a lady who works at the store told us to come and gave us free cold water! It was so encouraging to see how God was using her to refresh us before we gave out bibles. During our time there, couple team members felt a dark presence over some of the homes and it happened to be those who refused to receive the bibles. I met a lady named Olga who had right knee pain and when we prayed for her, she felt better and was so thankful for what we were doing to her community. I met another man who looked sick when he came out and I asked, he said he had COVID. We always wear our masks and kept our distance but for a split second there was fear in my heart but I felt the Lord asking me to pray for him. We socially distanced ourselves and I prayed for healing, for protection for his family, and he was so encouraged. To be honest, we have been encountering more and more people with COVID and it really is by God’s grace that there has been no outbreaks in our team or at the baes. 

We did street evangelism too which was really cool that I want to tell you guys about. I’ve never done this before with any other mission’s team in my life but we had no agenda but just asked God as a team what he wanted us to do. We asked God where, who, and what we were going to do. Each team member would share what God spoke to them and it’s like a puzzle piece that we put together of what God is trying to lead us. We felt God has highlighted to focus on children this week. He showed us doing nails and braiding hair for the kids..he showed us doing a dance routine for them ( since they love BTS here)... he showed us giving candies...he showed us doing prophetic art with them.. and he showed us playing soccer with them. We prepared as much as we could and finally we asked God where and he led us to a park close to the base. We shared with each other that even if one kid showed up, that the one kid is worth it in Jesus’s eyes. We went and everyone we met ended up being children! I met a girl named Wendy and her sister who wanted to get their nails done. We sanitized our hands of course and wore masks as I did her nails. We got to know each other and I shared the gospel with her. She accepted Christ but it is perhaps because she was Catholic. I shared with her that being a Christian is not just about being good to be accepted, that despite us not being good, we are accepted. I believe she really felt the love of God. 

The last highlighted ministry for me was Racham’s ministry which in Hebrew, Racham means “mercy”. This Christian organization is under YWAM but is also funded by the government. They focus on children from the slums who were abandoned, sexually, physically, emotionally abused, and are in need of help. We are not allowed to post any pictures on social media because of the government and for outside volunteers, we can only visit them once a week for 2 hours. The leaders there asked if we could teach them about unity. There are currently 15 children there, almost 60% boys, 40% girls all under the age of mid teens. We created a skit for them based on 1 Corinthians 12: 14-22 and although it was hard work, they loved it. We did a drawing activity, painted their nails, provided sandwiches and juice, and played soccer with them. They shared in the end how thankful they are to us and one of them shared their testimony of how God has been working in his life. I could see God’s life in his eyes and all the children were so precious. What broke my heart as we were walking back to the base was what each child has gone through. All the girls were raped, and all the boys either sold drugs or were addicted to drugs. One of the boy was found homeless and alone for 2 weeks because his father abandoned him. It hurts my heart so much right now even typing this because when I played with them before knowing, I wouldn’t have ever guessed they went through hell at such a young age. They are so precious to Jesus...and as much as I am angry against the injustice towards them, God reminds me that those offenders will get judgement from Him. He reminds me that although those children are poor on earth, theirs is the kingdom of heaven and they have such a great inheritance. I feel so privileged to get to meet them and love on God’s children.

I can’t believe I’ve been living here for over a month and this is the longest I have been in outreach. I think I am getting used to the humidity? but there are times it kicks my butt and I’m sweating like I’m in a sauna. The food has been difficult too since Mexico doesn’t have that many healthy options and almost everything is too sweet or too salty. The food tastes good don’t get me wrong, but knowing my body, it hasn’t been adjusting well, but I’m managing as best as I can. Oh I almost forgot, we had an extra $3-4,000 donation given to us as a team so after prayer, we decided as a team to pour half of it to a church plant in Stone Island, and the other half for those who are in need of oxygen tanks at Calvary Chapel which is where the pastor who is church planting in Stone Island attends. Right now, Mazatlan is doing the worst out of all of Mexico and the hospitals are at full capacity so those who need oxygen are having to buy them or wait till there is room at the hospital. 

I also had some extra fundings sent by friends and after prayer I felt the Lord asking me to pour it all on 4 different missionaries here at the base. I’m so grateful that just as those who obeyed and financially supported me, I could do the same for someone else and bridge my friend to help those in need in Mazatlan. 

I’m also enjoying my experience in Mazatlan once a week by trying out different local restaurants, buying tourist souvenir’s for friends, and seeing the different parts of the city. We only have 2 more weekends after this so despite feeling tired and ready to go home at times, I want to look back and have no regrets that I could have done more. 

Prayer requests:

1) Grace and endurance to finish this race strong. That we would give it our all and still ask for greater things that God has in store for us to see in Mazatlan. I’m still asking God to not let me be comfortable and content for what He already has done but for even more!

2) Unity. We’ve been reading Hebrews and Psalm together as a team, and our unity held by Christ is what allows us to thrive and not just survive.

3) Health protection: We all have been feeling pretty fatigued.Yoonkyung has tendonitis on her right thumb and wrist, Esther has food poisoning, I have back, shoulder, and neck pain with no cycle still, and Sebin has back pain too. As we encounter more people with COVID during ministry, would we be protected and that we wouldn’t carry to the locals here.

Thank you amigos and amigas <3

Alicia

[elizabethrobertajones]

I just realized after Sam tells the kid about how he knew he was lying because his eyes darted to the side, we got Billie later on asking Dean what he wanted and Dean's eyes dart to the side and he says free the ghosts. Which. Okay. We knew that's not what he really wanted anyway but I just thought it was a funny little thing. Probably coincidence because he does that eye darting all the time BUT I found it interesting nevertheless :D

Yeah, it could be he’s just shifting uncomfortably given that he’s been put in such a position and he probably didn’t have a pre-decided list of demands, or he’s just thinking about what he can ask for. Or he’s thinking about what he CAN ask for, and thinking about what he WANTS, and what he needs. 

(And Jensen could have been making Dean shift around like that for any number of small reasons as silly as that’s just how you act when someone asks you a direct question with a hard answer and since you’re not going through the actual situation yourself you just act some mild discomfort to add some depth to it all… So I’m really just interested that you brought up the line to me and this happens as a bonus that other parts of the episode call out intentionally or not :P) 

Aside from that little moment to think about it he gets to his answer pretty quickly, but the hunt is on his mind and all he was trying to do - why he even got himself in this state in the first place - is because he wasn’t thinking of himself as anything more than a means to free the ghosts anyway, even if it meant using himself as a disposable tool to do it >.>

But Billie asks what he WANTS and that’s such a loaded word in the show’s language because it’s got the whole need/want thing going on with it, and just last episode Cas was being called out for saying the Winchesters NEED him. 

And the whole weight is over here on Dean who started it all by saying he needed Cas instead of that he loved him, and for some weird reason that’s spiralled into a massive seasons-long call out on him not using his words rather than just being like yeah okay good enough still shows you care… (no, i have no clue what they’re implying with that :P) 

TBH I’m kinda laughing now because I was talking about Benny calling out Dean on need/want in 10x19 in Dean’s subconscious, and saying how it was basically what Cas went through in 13x04 in terms of having that relationship questioned about what they actually want or need from each other. And how it’s affected them not to know. 

And now you point out Billie asking Dean what he WANTS, and she’s giving him all the opportunities to use his position to ask her for all the stuff he always asks for when they cut all these deals with her over and over. Which basically means she was expecting him to bargain with family, because I don’t think she was expecting him to be that nihilistic and selfless, and I think she was expecting to go several rounds of warning him about consequences and the natural order, and I think that’s what tipped her off that he’d changed. Not that he was asking for the ghosts heroically, but because he had lost all hope.

It probably isn’t a coincidence he gets asked that exact phrase right now in the middle of all this, basically. It’s a very clearly identified theme in the show which has enough repetitions that I think it’s a stock phrase by this point along with stuff like “did what I had to do” or other things. Declaring you’re “needed” basically demands the question “but are you wanted” and lines like the 10x19 one make it clear we’re meant to think of them together, and that “I need you” isn’t good enough, that “want” is a more powerful and honest word.

So Dean not “wanting” anything more than the ghosts saved is a sign for us, as well as to tip off Billie, that at the very least his true desires have taken such a pounding lately he just doesn’t know what he wants any more, and another sign of his depression that he doesn’t even have the hope to ask for anything he might want personally. 

I think asking for the ghosts is very selfless and I kind of love him for it, but there’s layers to everything and the surface level gesture is much sadder when you look below the surface and ask why he DIDN’T answer the question of what he wants with anything more personal. One of those things where Dean making deals for his family is actually more a sign of him being at least normally messed up rather than utterly hopeless and mechanically acting the part of the hero…

It also makes an interesting need/want kind of thing because if the expectation is he should ask for Cas back (and dramatic irony demands he does because if he had Billie would have told him no, like 11x17 with Sam, but again, that’s assuming he’s functioning somewhat normally - the dramatic irony is dependant on the fact Cas is back and we know it since last episode and returning at the end of the episode, not anything wider like Mary has been alive all along - that’s the dramatic irony of Billie sending him back when she does after he asks). Then we have Cas being what he “wants” back here. At the end he says he “needs” a win, and we get the framing of Cas coming back being that win. 

But of course that just frames Cas as being needed rather than wanted again… Which in this context isn’t bad because it’s supposed to be the baseline return to form and even if things look different the other side of all this nonsense for them, they have to actually address their issues and so starting with Cas still feeling like he’s needed rather than wanted, and Dean getting Cas back because he said he needed an abstract thing Cas could do for him rather than emphasising why he WANTS Cas in particular… It’s stuff for them to build on. Take them back to the start but maybe they have better tools to communicate it now or a better understanding of themselves.

Also, super tangent now but just thinking about how there’s an uneasy tension between whether Dean would ask for Cas or Mary or both (and I do think as I said this would be the Cas moment and when Dean asks about Mary at the end would be obviously the part about her, just looking at the narrative threads going into each moment and how they serve it - one about want/need and then one about Dean’s hope.) This feels kind of interesting because it’s making me muse on how Cas and Mary last season ran parallel storylines and this season they are again are being put side by side for Dean. He *could* have been asking for either of them, but Mary and Cas are running parallel lines but *mirrored* to each other, and to Dean and how he relates to them. 

Mary is a character he “needs”:

Dean, you gave me what I needed most. I want to do the same for you.

But being the parent, that’s a completely different direction and being a family relationship and they’re dealing with missing childhood connections here…

We can get it right this time. But I need you to fight.

Right now, I need you to fight.

I need you – I need you to look at me, Mom.

I need you to really look at me and see me.

Mom, I need you to see me.

That sort of need is a very different type because of the different level of emotional connection between them. That Mary has been missing all this time but it was what Dean would benefit from a relationship with her that he NEEDED, that fills all the broken bits in his psyche, and children can be dependant on parents in a different way, that it’s the one direction that this goes in that anyone actually ASKED for, aka Mary wanting children vs Dean being forced to be Sam’s parent. Dean needing Mary is okay, and the problem is that she’s not giving back to him, she’s ignoring him in this scene and it’s metaphoric for his wider feelings about her.

Not actually sure I saw anyone actually analysing the “need”s in this speech before and don’t let me get into the web of parallels between what I generally refer to as the Crypt Scene/Swan Song parallels for their most notable moments… Gah :P 

After months of musing on it since around 12x17 (which I think was the final straw for me :P) I think I’ve decided one side is revelations about feelings and the other is affirming bonds which were always there but tested… the UNCERTAINTY is the difference because no one would doubt that there ARE bonds of love between the Winchesters, they just heap great big piles of issues on top of it, while it’s more about reciprocation of feelings in the bundle of nonsense I’ve labelled crypt scenes… But I guess to say, that it’s again about need/want but in a different way where the family bonds are testing need and the others are testing want. 

Need broke through in 8x17 but it wasn’t enough to keep Cas (which was just the set up of the episode anyway regardless of the line change, but I think the core of why a lot of people agree with the change and that Dean truly wasn’t ready to say it, especially when season 8 ends up being just the beginning of this arc), and by the next cycle through it had become about need and want. In 9x22 Cas “needed” the angels more than Dean to accomplish his goals (aka redeeming himself to and fixing heaven, which had motivated him all through season 8 and 9 and was not an insignificant part of his character stuff), but picked him because of emotional connections. In 10x22 Cas’s speech comes from a place of want, not need, making clear it was eternal devotion to Dean not a need that becomes inconvenient when Dean gets too murdery and has to be flung into the sun as Dean ordered. And so on. The call out on the language begins after the themes have had time to adapt to the change in 8x17 and exploring the possibilities in the language this opens up. The 10x19 call out of need/want was serious thematic foreshadowing of a reverse crypt scene because the language is so tightly connected.

Anyway. To use Mary as the “needed” character, but in a way that is emotionally sustainable because she’s Dean’s mother and legitimately can offer that bond without it being messed up, and that’s the actual ideal character resolution, it bounces off Cas that Dean’s going through similar issues but with “want” instead… I’m going so far down this tangent now, but in 12x03 Cas backs off and lets Mary “have” the guys because he thinks they need her more, that she belongs with them because she’s more obviously NEEDED, because of the assumed possessiveness of being a mother to them, again, in a way that isn’t BAD for Mary’s dynamic with her sons, but can’t possibly compare to how Cas actually relates to them and it’s a false equivalence where he puts himself in “need” rather than “want” that makes him back out and leave… when you’re dealing with Dean’s messed up sense of want and need of the people around him, thinking he needs one more than the other is so dangerous (and probably the source of a lot of fandom fighting :P). 

Cas feels like he’s the least needed of all of Dean’s family, but he’s actually the one Dean WANTS the most.

Because “want” is also the free will choice to CHOOSE to invite someone into your life. I mean it’s the found family dynamic. They WANTED Bobby as a father figure and he had no obligation to them to be it and they didn’t have an obligation to be good sons to him but given the messed up dynamics with the father who NEEDED them to be that and they NEEDED him, being able to choose family was huge for them. Anyway, Cas understanding that he’s WANTED, that Dean is including him in the family because he wants him to be there and not because he’s useful, would be an enormous moment of understanding for Cas, since his arc has been all about feeling like they only need him for his powers, and all the offers for him to be family and to stay to not stick yet because he’s too uncertain of HOW he’s required to be there. 

And I think with Amara’s line of Mary being what Dean “needed” most, with 12x22 having Dean say he “needs” her so many times, and the need/want thing being something that ties so much into how Cas is constantly feeling like he’s ~only~ needed and that being needed is a negative thing for him, with “want” being the offered better option… When Billie asks what Dean WANTS, the language of the show deeply supports that the answer would be “Cas”. The parallel structure of Cas and Mary to Dean also means that Mary gets covered later which means the earlier moment can be about Cas. AND Cas has lived in the negative space of pretty much every question or moment Dean’s been remotely challenged about this since he died.

I’m pretty sure all these layers would hold up to scrutiny, anyway >.> 

[mittensmorgul]

I'm new to SPN and a friend turned me onto your wonderful blog. We were talking about the early seasons and imagining what characters whom we meet later on in the series were doing in their lives at the same timeframe before we meet them. For example, after John died and went to Hell, at what point do you think Heaven jumpstarted their paradise plan? Meaning parallel to what early season episodes do you think Castiel's garrison got the orders to rescue Dean from Hell instead of John?

Hi there! And WHEEE! Welcome! Glad to have you here! :)

I was almost positive I’d made a post at some point in the past laying out the timeline for all this sort of “pre-Canon” stuff, but I think I’m just conflating maybe 15 or 20 different posts I’ve made over the years into one giant lumpy mountain of how I understand the events leading up to the series, and have never actually typed it out this way specifically, so I’m gonna go ahead and give it a shot.

Sorry it took so long to get back to you, but this is gonna be An Undertaking, so here goes:

I think Heaven “jumpstarted their Paradise plan” LONG before John died and went to hell in 1.22. I mean… LOOOOOOONG before…

Granted, that’s all established through revelations made in later seasons, but it all works retroactively. I mean, even the revelations made up through s12 about Mary, revelations we got during the MoC era in s9 and s10, revelations about Chuck and Amara in s11… they all serve to stretch the root causes of the entire Apocalypse back to the beginnings of Creation.

I guess that’s taking it back a little too far for the purposes of your question, but it does serve as a barometer for just how vast the scope of these events really is in-universe. Let me try and scale it back to the Apocalypse itself, since that’s specifically what you’re asking about here.

We learn in the early seasons that the demons “have plans” for Sam. Vague, ominous plans.

We learn in s3 that they had plans for Dean, as well… sending him to Hell. Throughout s4 we learn bits and pieces of what the demons’ larger plans entail– that they intend to break Lucifer out of his cage. We also begin to learn that while many angels believe they’re working to STOP Lucifer from getting free, other angels WANT Lucifer to be freed (Uriel, Zachariah, et. al.). Then at the end of s4, oopsie, Sam accidentally breaks Lucifer out while believing he was doing the one thing that would PREVENT Lucifer from breaking out…

Enter the True Vessel storyline… because this is where we begin to understand just how far back the scheming of Heaven and Hell goes. GENERATIONS back from Sam, Dean, and John Winchester.

From 5.01:

Zachariah: What, you thought you could actually kill Lucifer? You simpering wad of insecurity and self-loathing? No. You’re just a human, Dean. And not much of one.Dean: What do you mean, I’m the sword?Zachariah: You’re Michael’s weapon. Or, rather, his… receptacle.Dean: I’m a vessel?Zachariah: You’re the vessel. Michael’s vessel.Dean: How? Why—why me?Zachariah: Because you’re chosen! It’s a great honor, Dean.Dean: Oh, yeah. Yeah, life as an angel condom. That’s real fun. I think I’ll pass, thanks.

From 5.03:

Lucifer: Sam. My heart breaks for you. The weight on your shoulders, what you’ve done, what you still have to do. It is more than anyone could bear. If there was some other way… but there isn’t. I will never lie to you. I will never trick you. But you will say yes to me.|Sam: You’re wrong.Lucifer: I’m not. I think I know you better than you know yourself.Sam: Why me?Lucifer: Because it had to be you, Sam. It always had to be you.

They’re both “chosen.” Which leads one to believe that no matter what Alistair told Dean in 4.16 about John having been tortured and never breaking in Hell– that DEAN breaking in Hell was what “broke the first seal”– was ALWAYS the plan, from long before John sold his soul for Dean. It makes John’s deal just one more push for Dean to make the same deal for Sam at the end of s2.

Sort of reminiscent of what Zachariah told Adam in 5.18:

ZACHARIAH: Hey, don’t get me wrong. You’ve been a hell of a sport, really. Good stuff. But the thing is, you’re not so much the “chosen one” as you are…a clammy scrap of bait.ADAM: No…but what about the stuff that you said? I’m supposed to fight the devil.ZACHARIAH: Mmm, not so much. Hey, if it’s any consolation, you happen to be the illegitimate half-brother of the guy we do care about. That’s not bad, is it?ADAM: So you lied…about everything.ZACHARIAH: We didn’t lie. We just avoided certain truths to manipulate you.

(and can I tell you HOW USEFUL this one simple exchange is on a meta level? how many times the show has used this exact device in order to fill in blanks and expand past canon? because they use it A LOT)

So in this metaphor, John is in Adam’s position here… he was the clammy scrap of bait, the object lesson and role model for Dean (i.e. the guy they do care about).

We also get a good bit of exposition on this from Gabriel in 5.08:

GABRIEL: You do not know my family. What you guys call the apocalypse, I used to call Sunday dinner. That’s why there’s no stopping this, because this isn’t about a war. It’s about two brothers that loved each other and betrayed each other. You’d think you’d be able to relate.SAM: What are you talking about?GABRIEL: You sorry sons of bitches. Why do you think you two are the vessels? Think about it. Michael, the big brother, loyal to an absent father, and Lucifer, the little brother, rebellious of Daddy’s plan. You were born to this, boys. It’s your destiny! It was always you! As it is in heaven, so it must be on earth. One brother has to kill the other.DEAN: What the hell are you saying?GABRIEL: Why do you think I’ve always taken such an interest in you? Because from the moment Dad flipped on the lights around here, we knew it was all gonna end with you. Always.

They always knew it was gonna end with Sam and Dean Winchester.

Hence what the cupid told them in 5.14:

Cupid: Oh, mostly they don’t. You know, certain bloodlines, certain destinies. Oh, like yours.Sam: What?Cupid: Yeah, the union of John and Mary Winchester–Very big deal upstairs, top priority arrangement. Mm.Dean: Are you saying that you fixed-up our parents?Cupid: Well, not me, but… Yeah. Well, it wasn’t easy, either. Ooh, they couldn’t stand each other at first. But when we were done with them–Perfect couple.Dean: Perfect?Cupid: Yeah.Dean: They’re dead!Cupid: I’m sorry, but… the orders were very clear. You and Sam needed to be born. Your parents were just, uh…meant to be. A match made in Heaven- Heaven!

Sam and Dean needed to be born, their parents needed to meet and fall in love. How many generations of their family had been set up by cupids in order to bring about this “destiny?” Because Michael gives some pretty chilling context on that one in 5.13:

DEAN: How’d you get in my dad, anyway?MICHAEL: I told him I could save his wife, and he said yes.DEAN: I guess they oversold me being your one and only vessel.MICHAEL: You’re my true vessel but not my only one.DEAN: What is that supposed to mean?MICHAEL: It’s a bloodline.DEAN: A bloodline?MICHAEL: Stretching back to Cain and Abel. It’s in your blood, your father’s blood, your family’s blood.

and after Michael and Dean debate about the nature of Destiny versus Free Will (guess which side of the argument Dean defends? And which side Michael inflexibly sticks to? Yeah… there’s reasons Dean will never say yes to him…):

MICHAEL: Think of a million random acts of chance that let John and Mary be born, to meet, to fall in love, to have the two of you. Think of the million random choices that you make, and yet how each and every one of them brings you closer to your destiny. Do you know why that is? Because it’s not random. It’s not chance. It’s a plan that is playing itself out perfectly. Free will’s an illusion, Dean. That’s why you’re going to say yes.

(reminder: Dean never said yes. Granted he almost did a few times, but Cas stopped him once and Sam stopped him the other time, so… that’s where free will conquered destiny)

(second reminder, this is also the episode that coined the phrase “Team Free Will,” which has recently become so important again toward the end of s12…)

So, yeah. In the context of the apocalypse, John had been a pawn in the machinations of Heaven and Hell, just as much as Mary had been. Just as much as Sam and Dean and Cas were… but it was all because they were all playing their roles in the “destiny” set out for them at the beginning of creation.

So, yeah… I think the plans were in place long before John made that deal in 1.22. The angels never had a plan to rescue John. He may have been adjacent to the guy they needed to Do The Thing, but he was definitely not the guy they needed to Do The Thing. Just like Adam serving as Michael’s vessel in 5.18 (BAIT!), and just like John having served as Michael’s vessel in 5.13 (LURE!).

I made a much shorter post recently *searches own blog for 20 minutes getting detoured down four blind alleys and a rabbit hole* that sort of touches on this as well that might be of interest to this discussion:

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/162876917140/so-do-you-think-that-the-demons-didnt-really-plan

I hope this helps! And I also feel like this post serves as an object lesson in understanding how all “retcons” aren’t terrible. Some retcons improve past canon to vast degrees. Because technically ALL of this is one huge retcon. And it’s beautiful! :P

ETA: This doesn’t even touch on the stuff we learned in s8, specifically 8.12 about Henry Winchester, how he disappeared from John’s life when he was a child, how Abaddon had nearly derailed these plans for the Apocalypse by messing with the fate of the True Vessels… how the Winchesters AND Campbells were always Men of Letters or Hunters, how they’d all had this long history of dealing with the supernatural, how they’d jumped through time on multiple occasions to interfere with the supernatural… I swear it all makes sense in my head, how this all connects up into a vast timeline stretching from Chuck locking Amara away at the beginning of creation, the choices made by Michael and Lucifer dealing with the earliest humans– and the choices made by Cain and Abel that set their family irrevocably on this path… How generations of their family had been manipulated or coerced into “playing their roles” to bring them all up to that moment when Dean broke the first seal in hell and Sam broke the last seal on Lucifer’s cage, and how they were then able to take that destiny and rip up the ending with the help of a fallen angel and an old drunk. :’) that’s honestly why I keep watching this show.

[junker-town]

Andrew Luck retired from football, which is great for him but so, so bad for the Colts

Photo by Justin Casterline/Getty Images

One of the league’s best quarterbacks is walking away from the game at 29 years old.

Andrew Luck had yet to play in the 2019 NFL preseason due to a lower leg injury. Now it looks like he won’t take the field at all this fall — or in the future.

ESPN’s Adam Schefter reported Saturday night that Luck had informed the Colts he will retire rather than play this season. The 29-year-old would leave behind a seven-year NFL career that saw him named to the Pro Bowl four times. He led Indianapolis to the playoffs in all four of the seasons in which he played a full 16-game slate.

The news of Luck’s retirement is a shocker. Colts fans caught wind of his impending announcement and voiced their displeasure with the decision during Saturday night’s preseason game against the Bears. Luck took to the podium at the Colts’ post-game press conference to officially announce his retirement shortly after the news broke.

Andrew Luck announces his retirement from the @NFL. https://t.co/PK9ADYBuOX

— Indianapolis Colts (@Colts) August 25, 2019

He leaves behind a league where Tom Brady is still going strong at age 42 and Russell Wilson aims to play until he’s 45. But Luck also dealt with several serious injuries over an impressive career, including a shoulder malady that kept him from the field through the entire 2017 season. While he came back from that lost campaign to earn Comeback Player of the Year honors last winter, he decided to leave the game behind before it can rob him of any more of his health.

Luck thrived despite a mostly underwhelming cast of receivers

First things first: if this is what makes Andrew Luck happy, then it’s a good thing. He knows firsthand the extra mileage a decade-plus of high-level football (at Stanford and Indianapolis) has put on his body. If his decision is based on being mobile, active, and happy as he grows older, then good for him.

Rather than work through a calf injury that evolved into a high-ankle injury and deal with a full season of pain management, he leaves the NFL as one of its greatest “what if” scenarios. Luck’s return to the lineup saw him throw for 4,593 yards while completing 67 percent of his passes and finding the end zone 39 times. In terms of both quarterback rating and QBR it was his best season as a pro.

More importantly, he did that with a lineup of receivers whose only household name was T.Y. Hilton. Luck’s guidance elevated players like Chester Rogers, Donte Moncrief, and a 34-year-old Andre Johnson into useful WR2s. Tight end Eric Ebron realized his potential with a 13 touchdown performance in his first year with the club in 2018. He’d caught 11 touchdowns in the four seasons that preceded it. Luck was good, but his greatest skill was making everyone else around him better.

So how are the Colts going to replace that?

This sucks, sucks, suuuuuucks for the Colts

Luck’s abrupt departure makes Jacoby Brissett the team’s starting quarterback for the upcoming season. We saw how this turned out in 2017, where he went just 4-11 as the team’s starter.

Brissett was thrown into the fire as a second year quarterback that fall, taking the reins as the club’s starter just 15 days after being traded from New England to serve as Luck’s insurance policy. The Colts’ offensive line did him few favors that fall; he was sacked a league high 52 times and rarely had the opportunity to plant his feet and make plays downfield. That 2017 roster had little star power behind Hilton and its injured Pro Bowl quarterback.

The good news for Indianapolis is that Brissett should be better in 2019. His offense line got two major upgrades in 2018 thanks to All-Pro Quenton Nelson (left guard) and upper-tier starter Braden Smith (right tackle), both of whom were rookies last fall. Those two foundational pieces will clear space for a much better tailback attack as well. In 2017, Brissett relied on a 34-year-old Frank Gore (3.7 yards per carry) and a rookie Marlon Mack (3.8).

This fall he’ll have a third-year Mack — coming off a 908-yard 2018 where he averaged 4.7 yards per carry — along with the uber-efficient Jordan Wilkins and pass-catching chain-mover Nyheim Hines. That trio will provide plenty of yard-gaining support, both on the ground and in wheel routes, screens, and even lined up into the slot. Throw in a still-good Hilton, a leveled-up Ebron, plus whatever the club can get from free agent Devin Funchess and rookie Parris Campbell, and there’s reason to be optimistic about a stronger performance from Brissett.

But ...BUT

There are only a handful of quarterbacks who wouldn’t be a downgrade from Andrew Luck. Brissett isn’t one of them. Let’s say he improves marginally thanks to the improvements general manager Chris Ballard has made the past two seasons. Based on that 2017 performance, he’d throw for something like 3,500 yards and 20 touchdowns with a QB rating somewhere around the 88-92 range. That’s better, sure — but it’s still roughly what you’d get from a Jameis Winston or Andy Dalton type player.

Indianapolis can win with a passer of that caliber piloting the offense, but its ceiling just went from AFC title contender to one of the 7-7 teams working to find a backdoor Wild Card spot. Luck’s retirement shifts so much of the focus of the team’s 2019 on its defense. Darius Leonard was a revelation after joining the team as a second-round pick last spring. Now he has to lead his unit on a superhuman effort to keep the Colts together without their QB1.

It’s possible to be happy for Luck finding peace while simultaneously cursing the football gods for the impact his decision will have on the team. That’s where I imagine some Colts fans are right now.

Luck is leaving the game that dominated his life behind, calling it a career right at the time he should have been finding his peak. With injuries having taken their toll on his body and the rigors of rehab and NFL obligations weighing on his mind, he decided to play it safe and end his football career. He leaves a resume that includes four Pro Bowl appearances, a couple of collegiate All-American nods, and $97 million in contract earnings.

That’s the right decision for him, and no doubt one he didn’t take lightly. It’s also a brutal one for Indianapolis. Luck, for eight years, was the worthy heir to Peyton Manning — another quarterback who instantly pushed the Colts to relevance and served as his team’s heart and soul. Now, he’s hung up his helmet in search of a break from the grind of the gridiron and the peace of a less stressful life.

Back in early 2018, after general manager Chris Ballard saw his would-be coach Josh McDaniels renege on a contract and remain in New England at the Patriots’ offensive coordinator, he told the press the Pats-Colts rivalry was “back on.”

Without Luck, it might be time to flip that switch back down for the immediate future.

[thisgeekyteacher]

The months they go so fast, and May disappeared in a whirl of outwith the norm events. What with many comings and goings, a whole week in Cumbria and more train journeys than I’d really like to make in a month, I’ve made it to June more battered and broken than when I started.

I’ll be honest, I don’t really know what to put in here regarding the news. Brexit is a nightmare, Trump is no better, and News the world over is just miserable. So I think I’ll go with something that hit home for me.

My heart broke when I read about the sinking of the tourist boat on the Danube in Hungary. It is all the more heart wrenching as the wounds scored into the psyche of the nation as a result of the Sewol tragedy are still smarting. This has been close to the bone.

It also made me afraid. Afraid that I might know someone on that boat. True, the chances were slim, but I have met so many Koreans who have made clear their wishes to travel abroad, and many of them since have. I didn’t want any of my friends to be on the boat.

I hope that recovery operations in Hungary are swifter than they were for Sewol, and I hope everyone is found.

I’ve mentioned this book in the up-coming Reading Nook post, but it’s that good that I’m putting it here as well!

If you’re fascinated by Jack the Ripper, this isn’t necessarily a shoe-in. If you are fascinated by Victorian London in general, then this is a perfect read.

Hallie Rubenhold has clearly researched into every nook and cranny, digging up every little tit-bit of information relating to Jack the Ripper’s victims, and gives them their names and lives, immortalising them – Polly, Annie, Elizabeth, Catherine and Mary Kelly – as more than victims, as more than the prostitutes they were always assumed to be.

It’s a heart wrenching read and, and it’s very core, highlights without even having to put into words, how similar women’s situations are now. It is still an automatic assumption that a woman has fallen, that she is lesser, that she is sex worker, if she is in any way perceived to have “fallen” below society’s standards.

We have a long way to go.

I’ve still been slowly making my way through bones, and in the BF’s week of ill, a lot of of the Netflix shows were consumed. I’m now very used to the background noise of people being beaten to a pulp. That or football…

Some of the shows are great, some seem to just dole out the violence for violence’s sake, but as I’ve mostly been passively watching. The roster has been made up of Luke Cage, The Punisher and Daredevil. Luke Cage appears to have a stellar OST, and Daredevil has it’s captivating moments, but The Punisher does nothing for me!

I think we’re nearly at the end now, so hopefully there will be something less noisily violent gracing our TV screens.

More Marvel, this time Endgame.

I know I’m going to get some flack for this, but though I’m satisfied with the ending, the getting there was less gratifying. I could have done with film about half the length, or at least sped up, and I got so frustrated that I nearly left.

I am still deeply unimpressed with how a couple of the characters were dealt with; whilst I understand the point of the exercise, I feel it was handled badly and it left a sour taste. Man it’s hard to write an opinion piece on a movie you don’t want to spoil.

Whilst I would recommend seeing it, because… Endgame, I can’t sit here and say it’s going to blow your mind. It rounds out the Infinity Saga nicely, and sets up the next chapter. I’m going to miss this generation of Marvel, but I believe that what’s coming will be fantastic.

Those in the know are more than aware that I’m not remotely fussy about music genre, I will listen to anything and everything that sings to me. They will also know that I love me a good K-Pop release. What they might not know, is that of some of my favourite Korean artists, the Japanese releases outweigh the success of their Korean ones.

In May, we were treated to Seventeen’s newest Japanese release, Happy Ending. I’ve been disappointed In Seventeen’s recent Korean releases, they’ve just not quite been there. Happy Ending happily bucks this trend.

It’s a treat, being able to consume music from one group in two different national markets. Whilst there are Korean rock groups, and excellent ones at that, you will generally find this sound is more readily accepted in Japan than in Korea.

May has been changeable, weather-wise, and there has been much need for an interim jacket. I’ve not had the greatest of need for one before now – both Hong Kong and Korea are not known for their prolonged seasonal transitions. This year I acquired a second-hand Burberry trench coat that isn’t an colour of cream/beige that makes me look sick, and I have been rocking it (if I do say so myself). It’s a fast way to lift an outfit into something a little more put together.

I was rained upon immediately after this photo, however. The sunnies are a complete and utter lie. Oh, London weather! And now we’re in June and it’s chucking it down outside – a classic British summer. Why did I come back again?

Given this guy a wash, so he’s a wee bit damp!

This months revelation is not a product, but a tool! I have been into sponges for a million-and-one years, and for some reason, in recent months they’ve not been doing the job for me. Personally, I’m going to put that down to my Korean stash has finally run out and those on offer in the UK just aren’t up to par (and no, I’m not going to pay silly money for a sponge).

In light of this, I turned to the make up brushes, picked one that looked like it might be halfway decent for foundation, and gave it a whirl. I haven’t looked back since. Who knows why something that hasn’t worked before is working now,  but it does and I’m loving it.

As I slowly march through the endless collection of recipes at my disposal, there have been two of note this may:

On the right we have a smokey pork and black bean recipe from BBC Good Food, technically a taco recipe that instead had with salad to make a frankensteined buritto bowl. On the left we have a gluten free bread recipe from one of the plethora of LEON books I have. If you’re interested in them, I recommend keeping an eye on kindle prices!

The frankensteined burrito bowl was a huge success, and I enjoyed it for many a packed lunch – I packed my salad and meat separately, heated the meat at work and threw it all together with a smidge of cheese and a dollop of soured cream (technical terms there).

The bread, though no unsuccessful, was odd. It’s gluten free, it was always going to be odd. It looked more cakey than any bread I’ve ever come across, but was also dense, without being heavy. I found this bread to be very enjoyable, just as long as you are of the full understanding that it is not, nor is it ever going to be, regular bread!

Stunning photo, I believe from the press performance

The boy and I managed to get tickets to see English National Opera’s production of Faust, at their home in Covent Garden. The Opera House is a stunning mixture of sleek modernity in the foyer/bar and old fashioned opulence in the theatre itself, right down to the patrons; there were some tail coats spotted, and one lady in the most fabulous, sparking red dress. Opera attendance aspirations right there!

Faust (the French version by Charles Gounod, at least I think so!) was long, funny, long some more, rousing, opulent, disturbing and a spectacle.  Méphistophélès appearance in the second half (end of Act IV or beginning of Act V, I’ll be honest I’m not sure, all the Act’s melted into one) was fabulous; the scene stealer of the evening.

After the opera, we (one of our friends was in the production) headed off to China town for a bite to eat, and had this amazing aubergine number that I can’t for the life of me remember the name or make up of. Let this post serve as a reminder to the boy that we need to go have that again (a test to see if he reads the blog, perhaps…)

This month, the best place I have been is the Garden up in Cumbria. Getting through May felt like a war of attrition. There were highs and there were really, really dark lows. Being able to get home was a saving grace, and I was lucky enough to be able to experience some amazing weather. Here’s a wee photo of Colin  the pheasant strutting about like he owns the place, to a stunning back drop. Who needs filters when you live in the countryside! 

2019 has been a good year for the family. My nephew (hereafter nephew the first) arrived in January, and he is the spitting image of my brother, so much so it’s hilarious. In May, another member of the family arrived, another wee lad, to my cousin. It’s far too convoluted to go through the whole relation nomenclature rigmarole, so I’m just going to stick with nephew the second. He is adorable, with So. Much. Hair (quite unlike nephew the first, who is so blonde he looks bald), and I’m so damn proud of my cousin I could cry. I mean I will, I’m a crier. I can’t wait to go meet the wee lad and get in some of those baby cuddles!

  Re-Cap:

So May wasn’t all bad, despite the low parts of the month. I got some in some solid hours at home, we gained another new addition to the family, the boy and I got a wee trip tp the opera and he got to enjoy some of my food aspiration experiments (though apparently not enough, according to him, which is difficult when he’s more of a savory guy and I am all about that baking!)

Here’s hoping that June is a great month for all of us!

  If you would like to support TGT, head over to my Kofi:

  Last Month Today | May 2019 The months they go so fast, and May disappeared in a whirl of outwith the norm events.

[dailybiblelessons]

Monday: Reflection on the Thirty-fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time

This week's blog post is here. It has a review of The Complete Jewish Bible (which has both testaments), and some perspective on what often seems like John the Evangelist's anti-Semitism.

More information about the complementary and semi-continuous series is here: Which Series?

Complementary Hebrew Scripture from The Writings: Daniel 7:19-27

Then I desired to know the truth concerning the fourth beast, which was different from all the rest, exceedingly terrifying, with its teeth of iron and claws of bronze, and which devoured and broke in pieces, and stamped what was left with its feet; and concerning the ten horns that were on its head, and concerning the other horn, which came up and to make room for which three of them fell out—the horn that had eyes and a mouth that spoke arrogantly, and that seemed greater than the others. As I looked, this horn made war with the holy ones and was prevailing over them, until the Ancient One came; then judgment was given for the holy ones of the Most High, and the time arrived when the holy ones gained possession of the kingdom.

This is what he said:

“As for the fourth beast, there shall be a fourth kingdom on earth  that shall be different from all the other kingdoms; it shall devour the whole earth,  and trample it down, and break it to pieces. As for the ten horns, out of this kingdom ten kings shall arise,  and another shall arise after them. This one shall be different from the former ones,  and shall put down three kings. He shall speak words against the Most High,  shall wear out the holy ones of the Most High,  and shall attempt to change the sacred seasons and the law; and they shall be given into his power  for a time, two times, and half a time. Then the court shall sit in judgment,  and his dominion shall be taken away,  to be consumed and totally destroyed. The kingship and dominion  and the greatness of the kingdoms under the whole heaven  shall be given to the people of the holy ones of the Most High; their kingdom shall be an everlasting kingdom,  and all dominions shall serve and obey them.”

Semi-continuous Hebrew Scripture from The Former Prophets: 2 Kings 23:15-25

There is a parallel passage at 2 Chronicles 34:3-5.

Moreover, the altar at Bethel, the high place erected by Jeroboam son of Nebat, who caused Israel to sin—he pulled down that altar along with the high place. He burned the high place, crushing it to dust; he also burned the sacred pole. As Josiah turned, he saw the tombs there on the mount; and he sent and took the bones out of the tombs, and burned them on the altar, and defiled it, according to the word of the Lord that the man of God proclaimed, when Jeroboam stood by the altar at the festival; he turned and looked up at the tomb of the man of God who had predicted these things. Then he said, “What is that monument that I see?” The people of the city told him, “It is the tomb of the man of God who came from Judah and predicted these things that you have done against the altar at Bethel.” He said, “Let him rest; let no one move his bones.” So they let his bones alone, with the bones of the prophet who came out of Samaria. Moreover, Josiah removed all the shrines of the high places that were in the towns of Samaria, which kings of Israel had made, provoking the Lord to anger; he did to them just as he had done at Bethel. He slaughtered on the altars all the priests of the high places who were there, and burned human bones on them. Then he returned to Jerusalem.

The king commanded all the people, “Keep the passover to the Lord your God as prescribed in this book of the covenant.” No such passover had been kept since the days of the judges who judged Israel, or during all the days of the kings of Israel or of the kings of Judah; but in the eighteenth year of King Josiah this passover was kept to the Lord in Jerusalem.

Moreover Josiah put away the mediums, wizards, teraphim, idols, and all the abominations that were seen in the land of Judah and in Jerusalem, so that he established the words of the law that were written in the book that the priest Hilkiah had found in the house of the Lord. Before him there was no king like him, who turned to the Lord with all his heart, with all his soul, and with all his might, according to all the law of Moses; nor did any like him arise after him.

Complementary Psalm 76

In Judah God is known,  his name is great in Israel. His abode has been established in Salem,  his dwelling place in Zion. There he broke the flashing arrows,  the shield, the sword, and the weapons of war.

Glorious are you, more majestic  than the everlasting mountains. The stouthearted were stripped of their spoil;  they sank into sleep; none of the troops  was able to lift a hand. At your rebuke, O God of Jacob,  both rider and horse lay stunned.

But you indeed are awesome! Who can stand before you  when once your anger is roused? From the heavens you uttered judgment;  the earth feared and was still when God rose up to establish judgment,  to save all the oppressed of the earth.

Human wrath serves only to praise you,  when you bind the last bit of your wrath around you. Make vows to the Lord your God, and perform them;  let all who are around him bring gifts  to the one who is awesome, who cuts off the spirit of princes,  who inspires fear in the kings of the earth.

Semi-continuous Psalm 63

O God, you are my God, I seek you,  my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you,  as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,  beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life,  my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live;  I will lift up my hands and call on your name.

My soul is satisfied as with a rich feast,  and my mouth praises you with joyful lips when I think of you on my bed,  and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help,  and in the shadow of your wings I sing for joy. My soul clings to you;  your right hand upholds me.

But those who seek to destroy my life  shall go down into the depths of the earth; they shall be given over to the power of the sword,  they shall be prey for jackals. But the king shall rejoice in God;  all who swear by him shall exult,  for the mouths of liars will be stopped.

New Testament Lesson: Revelation 11:1-14

Then I was given a measuring rod like a staff, and I was told, “Come and measure the temple of God and the altar and those who worship there, but do not measure the court outside the temple; leave that out, for it is given over to the nations, and they will trample over the holy city for forty-two months. And I will grant my two witnesses authority to prophesy for one thousand two hundred sixty days, wearing sackcloth.”

These are the two olive trees and the two lampstands that stand before the Lord of the earth. And if anyone wants to harm them, fire pours from their mouth and consumes their foes; anyone who wants to harm them must be killed in this manner. They have authority to shut the sky, so that no rain may fall during the days of their prophesying, and they have authority over the waters to turn them into blood, and to strike the earth with every kind of plague, as often as they desire.

When they have finished their testimony, the beast that comes up from the bottomless pit will make war on them and conquer them and kill them, and their dead bodies will lie in the street of the great city that is prophetically called Sodom and Egypt, where also their Lord was crucified. For three and a half days members of the peoples and tribes and languages and nations will gaze at their dead bodies and refuse to let them be placed in a tomb; and the inhabitants of the earth will gloat over them and celebrate and exchange presents, because these two prophets had been a torment to the inhabitants of the earth.

But after the three and a half days, the breath of life from God entered them, and they stood on their feet, and those who saw them were terrified. Then they heard a loud voice from heaven saying to them, “Come up here!” And they went up to heaven in a cloud while their enemies watched them. At that moment there was a great earthquake, and a tenth of the city fell; seven thousand people were killed in the earthquake, and the rest were terrified and gave glory to the God of heaven.

The second woe has passed. The third woe is coming very soon.

Year B Ordinary 24 Monday

Selections from Revised Common Lectionary Daily Readings copyright © 1995 by the Consultation on Common Texts. Unless otherwise indicated, Bible text is from Holy Bible New Revised Standard Version with the Apocryphal / Deuterocanonical Books (NRSV) copyright © 1989 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All right reserved. Parallel passages are as indicated in Modern English Version (MEV), copyright © 2014 by Military Bible Association. Used by permission. All rights reserved. When text is taken from the MEV, the passage ends with (MEV) and the foregoing copyright notice applies. Note: The links in the titles above take you to Amazon, where you can purchase them and benefit The Lectionary Company. Image credit: The Two Witnesses Original graphic designed electronically by Sean Mayfield for Douglas W. Krieger (http://www.the-tribulation-network.com/dougkrieger/unsealing/unsealing_by_chapter.htm), downloaded via Wimimedia.org. This image is licensed under the Creative Commons 3.0 Attribution Share Alike license.