#this reads like a shitpost but no these are all things in the little room of our appartment that only I use...

[auphelia]

Thank you for the tag @boundinparchment this was fun! Uhh I don't really own anything valuable to steal so... lock into raccoon mode for this I guess?

I'm no pressure tagging @mrskreideprinz @glassrowboat

[bear-remn]

—shu headcanon's!

hi! I've been thinking a lot lately about the Sakamaki brothers and I came up with some headcanons that maybe you guys can enjoy too, the first one in this series is shu so enjoy! also a little art piece i make during maing this post.

tw: there are some nsfw headcanons!!! if you dont like that content dont read it!

his looks and selfcare

i do think that shuu is very, good looking, shu has that kind of elegant beauty, with his fine face and a straight nose, clearly his eyes are what attract the most attention when you see him for the first time, also shu has a very penetrating and fixed gaze, in addition to the fact that his blue color makes him have a captivating look and sometimes makes people nervous without realizing it, just because of his natural gaze.

even so, shu does not realize how attractive he is, at least not entirely, mostly bc he doesnt take care of his face, like he dont put any cream or special soap on his skin, he is totally the guy that barely wash his face and has a perfect skin.

but i do think that when he wants to, he definetly put sunscreen bc thats what he thinks is makeup for men.

and maybe this is a little... dirty? but i truly belive shu does'nt shower too often, maybe three times a week? or sometimes two, and he does not smell, like too bad, bc he dont sweat for some reason, but does sometimes stink with that smell, when somebody is for too long in a bed... that kind of smell.

and the times he showers he truly takes that shower like if it was his last, ofc is a bubble bath and he puts some candles and music while he just rest in hot water. is shu's private moment with himself. and he loves vanilla and chocolate candles.

and about shaving, he has a happy trail, but cant grow a hole beard, for some reason it just grow under his chin and it bothers him so he shave it right away. and about his body hair it is very thin and not so visible.

talking about skin, something shu needs, is to feel soft things to the touch, like his sheets, he makes his bed all the time and loves the smell of vanila or lavanda the bed has when its recently done, and its the same with his clothes, he needs cotton clothes, if shu feel something that is minimally rough or that makes his skin itchy, he never wears it again or throw it away.

shu does not brush his hair too often, mostly bc its not hard to control and he likes how he looks with messy hair.

i like to think that shu has a wide body, big shoulders and a thick waist, he has a prominent v line, his arms are a little thick too, and his hands are big, but his fingers are more thin and long, as he use to play piano. and he takes care of his nails, doesnt put nail polish but do cuts them and keep them clean.

random stuff

sometimes shu doesnt realize his shirt is inside out, and he realize just when somebody else point it out. but shu dont care.

shu is actually a goosip, so he puts one of his earphones bad just so he can hear what people are talking even if it had nothing to do with him.

and a little secret of him, when shu cant sleep and is alone, he looks at cute/funny (mostly shitpost) videos, memes and photos of animals, shu is totally an animal lover.

on his vacations shu loves to watch a reallity shows, he loves drama of famous people, but ofc shu doesnt talk about this with anyone. and definetly watch them when he eats. not too often tho, it has to be a really good show.

shu has a record collection in his room, next to a wall full of vinyls of his favorite music, he doesn't use them much but enjoys collecting them.

and bc of his childhood he is actually really smart but bc he is miserable and lazy he just dont show it nor in his life or in the academy. and also as a little revenge to his father (who punish him by sending shu to alaska lol).

shu actually dont like human food, he find it boring, but do enjoy eating meat, almost raw, but not too much, bc after that his stomach hurt a little. he does like coffe or hot chocolate sometimes and better when it has milk.

and my favorite little thing about shu, i think shu dont play in consoles, not play station, not xbox, not nintendo, nothing like that. so he only play games in his phone, but not anygame. shu either playes puzzles games or play subway surfers, or both, who knows. and he loves the music of that game, it always stick into his mind when he hears it.

NSFW

so, shus dick... is great, maybe too dirty of me to say but u truly belive that shu has a pretty dick, like maybe more thick than normal, with two prominent veins and heavy balls. and its a little biger than average, probably like 19 cm. i had to say it.

also, i belive shu is a switch, ofc loves to be dominant but also enjoys being dominated, with a limit.

shu loves to tease people in any chance he gets, like, when someone (specially a girl) find out that he likes to hear woman moans as music, he tease them to make them nervous like "what? would you prefer me to just hear you? want me to make you moan? hehe". or when a girl is wearing something too revealing too close to him, like he sees someone underwear or a little peak of her chest shu be such an ass "wanting to show me something? how lewd of a woman you are huh" all of that with his sly smirk.

he flirts in a very... one of a kind, like he teases but also like to make physical contact, at firts he just do it in a way to make the other person nervous but with the time he craves the physical contact, he loves feeling his skin touch another skin, what makes him sleep naked.

shu is more perverted than laito canonically, but i think that shu is more romantic about it, like put passion in it, you can feel the conection with him when having sex. specially bc he loves making eye contact and touch everything he can. he craves to melt into your skin and its really intense. he holds you with possessiveness, hard and intense. almost needy, but shu isnt like quick and fast or desesperate. he is more the kind of sloow and deep, nice and steady. kind of guy.

and bc of his intense desire, he loves foreplay, and best of it, he knows how to do it right, i just know he can read people to know what someone like to make them weak. he also loves kissing, tongue. theeth and lips, he have to kiss at every moment, and if you moan into his mouth he just gets worked up. he would definetly make you grind on his leg while kissing. clearly he does the leg thing, he know things.

shu is a big fan of 69, like he loves to get sofocated while you suck him, and he does it right, loves to play with your clit like crazy, but he isnt rough, but if you ask for him to be more rough he get into it, until youre fucking trembling. and he expect you to cum in his face, afterwards he is happy just to be there.

and his favorite position in bed is either cowgirl or spoonign, firts bc he like when you take control, and seconds, he gets to hold you and be close to you and not making too much effort.

in the case of cowgirl, he loves pushing up to go deeper, and all of that while watching you face, damn he loves it. also likes to hold you waist, and watch you support your body with your hands on his legs, that way he can see better your boobs as you move. when he is close he bites his bottom lip so hard just bc he wants to see you how you cum as well, literally make you look into his eyes while doing it. and if he can, shu will sit up just to kiss you and and look into your eyes up close. he loves to intimidate you with his gaze.

"cmon... keep looking at me... dont take your pretty eyes off mine..."

and if you refuse to lok at him, shu would hold you face to make your eyes meet his.

and in the case of spooning, he grabs you close, like if shu wants to get into your skin, would hold onto your tits or your belly with one hand while he other is in your neck, making you look back at him while he trust into you deep and nice. would kiss your shoulder, your neck, your back, any little part of your skin that is close to him, he would kiss it gently, and if shu speed up a little, you would hear his hot breaths in your ear, occacionally biting it.

"fuck... you're mine, you know that?... only mine.. say it..."

"you're my woman... hear it?... say it... i want to hear you..."

the aftercare is another story to tell, basically he would be either too lazy to get up or just by luck he has something to clean up in his drawyer. he is the kind of men, that would prefer to stay dirty for a while just to hold you a little longer, definetly tease you for another round or just kiss you softly as he carees you hair or skin.

this man craves you with passion, and its touch starved.

── more of my content here!

[secretmellowblog]

I hope tumblr doesn’t die because No other social media site is as good for long, thoughtful, nuanced analyses of media. Yeah tumblr is also full of dumb shallow hot takes and shitposts, but you can make dumb shallow hot takes and shitposts anywhere —-there are no other popular social media sites that let you easily format and share long essays on the media you enjoy, and then have conversations around those long essays.

Fandom on all the other big social websites just seems so utterly …shallow. And it’s not because people on other websites aren’t thoughtful or don’t have deep things to say, but because these sites’ formats do not allow for any kind of long nuanced conversations.

Tiktok? Things have to be crammed into a super short video with an attention grabbing headline, and you can’t hyperlink sources. Instagram? Everything has to be in an image format with strict limits on length, and nothing will be shown to your followers anyway because of how Instagram’s algorithm works, and also no hyperlinks. Twitter? Strict character limits, and if you split it into threads it means someone can retweet a part of your essay completely out of context, and also very little freedom with formatting.

It frustrates me so much. If I go into the Tumblr Les Mis fandom I’ll find really compelling long essays on the original novel (including essays being written for the ongoing book club) on the story’s historical context, or the parallels between different characters and their narrative foils, or the way the politics were defanged for certain adaptations, or the way Victor Hugo’s personal life and failings affected the novel. But on tiktok I’ll get the same five shallow stale jokes from 2013 over and over, or maybe the same “DID U KNO THAT IN THE MUSICAL JAVERT AND VALJEAN SING THE SAME LEITMOTIF” style of basic Intro To Les Mis 101 For Babies media analysis (which is what Tiktok considers deep media analysis), or stale “LOL JAVERT ACTS GAY” style jokes as if we’re living in the early 2000s and calling a character gay is still a funny punchline. And it’s impossible to have any kind of deeper thoughtful discussions than “DID U KNOW <x Kool Fact>” or “lol <shallow observational joke>” on tiktok because the platform just isn’t built for building niche communities around in depth conversations. it’s built to churn out bland generic content for as wide an audience as possible, which means pointing out a small detail like an Easter egg and calling it “cool” is deep media analysis, because you cant have longer more in depth conversations without alienating people. And I hate it. Bc like, it’s not because there aren’t smart clever thoughtful people on Tiktok— there are—it’s because Tiktok isn’t built for these conversations, and anyone who wants to have them has to really fight against the things the website encourages or prioritizes!

Or like, if I go into the LOTR fandom on Tumblr, I’ll find tons of extremely long analysis and fanfic, and analysis of queer readings of the story. On Instagram people will still shriek in terror if you suggest the characters are gay, and most of the popular lotr posts are stale memes recycled from like 2007. There’s really no room for thoughtful media analysis, and even if you did create it, instagram’s algorithm would make sure no one saw your post anyway.

And everyone’s going to say “the algorithm shows you what you’ve seen before so maybe it’s your fault ~” or whatever but i do look for things I want! I do! “The algorithm” doesn’t know me or what I want or value or care about beyond this meaningless surface level.

The only thing that was worthwhile about these sites was the great visual art people were creating, but now the websites are overwhelmed with meaningless soulless machine-generated AI glurge, and it sucks. It just really, really sucks.

I’m honestly confused about why people don’t use tumblr….There’s no character limits! You have freedom with post formatting, and can insert images throughout textposts to illustrate specific points you’re making beneath the paragraphs where they’re necessary! You can add hyperlinks, linking to your sources! People can reblog your entire essay and share it, and then add on with commentary that then becomes part of a larger conversation! People can find your stuff through the tagging system! Reblogging means posts stay in circulation for years instead of being dead 30 minutes after they’re uploaded! If you want to have genuinely interesting text conversations about a piece of media, there really isn’t a better social media website for it anywhere.

To be clear, I’m definitely not saying Tumblr media analysis is *always* clever and thoughtful or etc etc. there are shitposts and nonsense here too (plenty of which I’ve created lol.) I’m saying that Tumblr gives people the tools for in-depth insightful analysis to happen. Whether people choose to do it or not is their own decision XD. But the reason lengthy in-depth conversations and book clubs are even possible here is because Tumblr is built for allowing these conversations to happen, in a way other sites simply aren’t.

It’d really suck if it died, because it’d be a huge blow to…being able to easily find long insightful in-depth media analysis written by fans. I currently don’t think there’s anything that could replace it.

[piss-pumpkin]

🎃The Summerween special🩸

Douce amere chapter 12, Older!dipper pines x reader, ~3.8k words Prev Masterlist

The upstairs bathroom of the mystery shack had never looked so good. Clean, which was relatively unusual, and even more so, decorated with candles and flashlights. Almost midnight. 

Dipper lit the last of the candles, a small tea light, and placed it on the counter. “Alright, I think that’s all of them.” 

The counter was covered and lit, despite the overhead lights still being on. Mabel shined a flashlight under her chin, and waved her fingers in the air. “Looks perfect!” she exclaimed, nearly bouncing off the little stool she sat on. “If what I read online is true, she might grant us wishes!”

You looked up at her from where you sat on the floor, legs crossed. “What exactly did you read online?” you prodded. “Like where did you get the instructions for this?”

She puckered and popped her lips, “you know, a few places… and it’s not like Dip or Ford knew anything,” she shrugged, smile creeping onto her lips. “So if you think about, I’m the most knowledgeable person here on the subject.”

”That does not answer my question,” you said, folding your arms. 

Dipper leaned against the counter, “Yeah, I’m with Y/n on this one, I really think that if she’s real, not all the shitposts are accurate.”

”Hey, hey, my sources are trusted,” she claimed, shaking her head at his dismissal. “And if you don’t believe in the wishes, why are we even doing this?” 

Dipper paused for a moment, as if unsure she was even serious. “Dude, to find out what happens,” he said, as if it were obvious.

You smiled cheekily, “Yeah, plus, it’s Halloween, we need a little spooky time.” You looked around the brightly lit room, wincing a little bit, “or at least it will be when we start.”

”Summerween,” Dipper corrected absently. “Not Halloween.” As you rolled your eyes, Dipper squinted, and started to flip through his journal. “Speaking of, Summerween has literally no spiritual or historical significance, if this works it’s because Gravity Falls is crazy, not because of the day.”

Mabel’s face contorted, “then why are we doing it today?”

You threw your hand out to hit her on the leg, “If you’re gonna get murdered by Bloody Mary, wouldn’t you rather do it on a night of horror and whimsey, and not just like, some random Tuesday?” 

Mabel nodded along, “yeah, I guess.”

”What?” Dipper asked. He looked up from his journal with his brow furrowed, “None of us are gonna die.” He was still idly reading his journal, and tapped and prodded at the counter behind him looking for his pen. When he found it, he started to chew the back end in between jotting down notes. 

You shook your head with a smile, “well, yeah, duh, but if it comes down to it,” you trailed off, waving your hand in the air. You looked up at him. He looked down at you. You smiled, and his faux annoyance faded. 

“Well I guess if I had to get murdered by Bloody Mary,” he sighed, smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Mabel kicked him as she pumped her fist and legs in the air, “That’s the spirit, Bro!”

His annoyance came back as he recoiled his shin away from her feet, “Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he said, glancing at the clock. “It’s almost midnight, we should turn off the lights.”

You stood, and started toward the switch. “What in the rules says it has to be midnight?” You asked, flicking it down. The room darkened everywhere but the mirror area, which stayed lit with burning the candles. 

The twins looked at you, then each other. When neither of them spoke, Dipper sighed. “Mabel, you looked up the ritual, why did we wait until midnight?” he sighed, head in his hand. 

She flipped her flashlight at him, and shrugged with pursed lips. 

“Turn that thing off,” you said, tapping her flashlight with your foot, “Only candle light, it’s spookier that way,” you said, wiggling your fingers.

Dipper scribbled something down in his journal, then set it and his pen down. He took one glance at his phone before shutting it off and pocketing it. “Okay, let’s start, we’ve got like a minute.”

You and Mabel gave a thumbs up, standing off to the side while he looked into the mirror with skeptical eyes. “You guys are standing way over there, huh,” he deadpanned, raising his brow at you and Mabel. 

You waved your hand in dismissal, “Dippy, don’t be scared,” you chided. You blew a kiss at him with a smile, “if she tries to get you, we’ll beat her off.”

Mabel snickered, “I mean, I’ll leave you two to that,” she said, earning a punch from you straight to the arm. 

Dipper waved his hands, “Okay, everyone shut up, it’s midnight, we’re doing the thing.” He sighed, looking at his reflection in the mirror, and started to speak. “Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary,” he said, in a rather subdued voice. 

The room was silent. You waited a beat, then two. Then the light from Mabel’s phone drew your eye. She had open a Wikihow article. Great. 

She frantically whisper yelled at Dipper, “now you have to spin three times!” 

He sighed, quietly shouting right back, “that’s stupid,” before complying with her order, and spinning in a circle where he stood. 

Mabel cheekily scrolled through the wikihow article as the three of you waited for something to happen. Dipper pursed his lips, turning to you and Mabel, “I blame Ma-“

He stopped, and side eyed the mirror with puckered lips. Slowly, he opened his mouth again as he raised his hand to point at it. “Hey, wait a second,” he said curiously. Then all of a sudden he was leaning closer to the mirror, and squinting harder. 

You tapped your foot on the ground impatiently, crossing your arms. “Dip, Buddy,” you said, raising your eyebrows. “What’cha got there?” You could vaguely remember playing this exact prank on some friends as a kid, and Dipper was a worse actor. 

He turned toward you, and your eyes widened as you saw his wide smile. He pointed a finger gun at the mirror with one hand, and steadied himself on the counter with the other. He nearly laughed, “Guys, are you seeing this shi-“

Before he could finished, you and Mabel gasped, her hands flying up to point at her brother. Worse, before either of you could say anything, it was too late for a warning. In blink, something launched out of the mirror, and in a blur of black motion, even more obscured by the darkness in the room, attacked Dipper. 

It stuck to his head like a face-hugger, but with arms. Arms with hands that held tightly. Dipper struggled and moved and writhed, and tried to pull it off, groans and screams muffled. The dim light of the candles started to fade as he put them out with his flailing. 

Well shit. Suddenly you could think enough to tear your eyes away. Lights would be good. As Mabel screamed and pointed, you raced over to the switch, and illuminated the scene. 

Mabel was swatting away the creature, which looked a lot more like a person in the light. Its arms were still wrapped around Dippers head, and its legs pressed against his chest. A long mess of wet and dripping black hair obscured any face of hers. 

The more you looked, the worse it got. Your eyes skimmed over her sickly white skeleton thin limbs on your first look in the dark. And on that skeletal frame, a small white dress with… red stains. And dripping the same. Well fuck, that’s probably bad. 

In an instant Mabel punched it, coming at a side angle to avoid hurting Dipper. Maybe she’s learning. I should help, you thought, still staring. Yeah. Let’s do that. 

Without any semblance of a thought, much less a battle plan, you dove in. With quick step you lunged, grabbing for the creature. Or… the girl. Blindly, you wrapped your arms around her chilled torso, and pulled with all your momentum. 

Suddenly Dipper’s voice returned with a desperate gasp for breath, and then a stifled groan as Mabel punched him. 

You, on the other hand, were tumbling down to the floor at rapid speeds. The sounds of Mabel and Dipper faded away as you screamed, both at the terror in your arms, and your impending impact. At least the hair was covering her face. Your eyes squeezed shut, bracing for the fall. 

And all of a sudden the wind was knocked out of you, the creature folding under your chest. “Ugh,” you groaned. You pushed with shaky arms off the ground, opening your eyes reluctantly.

As you did, you locked gaze with red eyes above you. Shit. Sunken in and white cheeks contorted as it opened an unhinged jaw to hiss and shriek. Piercing. Your hands quickly released her to fly to your ears as you winced, kicking her off of her. The wood floor hit your back hard as you rolled away. In a ditch effort to do some damage, you threw your leg out to get another kick in as you rolled and she screamed. 

Your foot never landed though. Just as you tried, something was grabbing you by the arms. You jolted away, and whipped you head around with bated breath. 

Dipper. He was trying to pull you up. You looked at him with wide eyes for a moment before he tried again to get you on your feet. “Come on, you’ve gotta get up,” he said, shifting his arms under yours to pull you. 

Legs shaking, you managed. And looked up to see Mabel doing your job for you. With a jump and a battle cry, she soccer kicked bloody Mary’s face in. 

Dipper didn’t let go of you, and you were more than glad. His arms around your shoulder was so warm compared to the chill that came over the room when the creature let out her final shrill cry. She went limp on the ground, and your mouth fell open in small shock. 

You looked behind you at Dipper, who wore a very similar expression. 

Mabel turned around to you both with a wide smile, and a thumbs up. “How crazy was that?!” She said, beaming ear to ear. Her socks were specked with red from the creatures… mouth, eyes, nose… something. 

You pointed at her, eyes darting between Mabel and bloody Mary. “Dude, Mabes,” you started, brow furrowed. “D-did you fucking kill her?”

Mabel looked at the limp skeletal body on the ground near her feet. Then back at you. Then back at the body. She shrugged silently, lips in a blank smile.

Dipper stepped forward from behind you, and caught you eye with his worried expression. He pointed hesitantly to a detail you seemed to miss on first glance. “Uh, Mabel,” he spoke, voice level and controlled. “What’s happening there?” 

You followed his finger to her socks, and the red splatters adorning them. They were starting to move. They weren’t the only one. The body started to convulse. With jolting and jittery movement, she extended an arm, you heard a bone crack, and curled into a ball, hiding her bloody face. A small red pool was forming where her shaking body laid. And it was inching its way, almost deliberately toward Mabel. 

“Oh my god, Mabel, start moving,” you stated, not really an ask, waving arms at her, still just standing there.

She looked down, and face contorted. “Augh,” she exclaimed, jumping away from the blood. She slid her socks off with her feet, kicking them across the room as the blood overtook and enveloped them. She pointed at them very aggressively, “What the fuck is that?!”

Dipper grimaced, pursing his lips as he crossed his arms. “Yeah, you tell me, you were supposed to look up the ritual.”

”Shut up,” she said simply. She narrowed her eyes at him, “I prefer fucking around and finding out,” she snickered.

You stared with raised brow and dumbfounded expression, seemingly the only one who noticed that her now bare foot was… bloody. Mary’s body was shrivelling as the shaking started to slow, and the blood was still creeping over. And a few drops of blood must have seeped through the socks before she threw them. “Fuck around and find out, huh?” You asked. Rhetorical question. Because the answer was yes. 

The few drops started to grow. And started to seep in. Her skin started to red below the ankle, and it spread like mold in spots and streaks. 

Mabel looked down, “Oh shit.”

Dippers eyes widened, “ugh, gimme your phone,” he demanded, making his way toward his sister. “I need to see the instructions on the ritual you gave us,” he sighed, hand outstretched. 

Mabel’s eyes were wide and a shaky smile crossed her pale lips. Pale? That’s not good. Her face was losing colour as fast as her feet and hands were gaining it. Dippers face was cool and calm, but his eyes started trained on his palm rather than her. Easier that way. she gingerly handed him the phone, letting out an awkward laugh as she did. “The password is 80085,” she winced. 

Dipper sighed, rolling his eyes as he typed it in. He sucked a breath in through closed teeth, “Mabel, fucking wikihow?” He breathed with barred teeth. He waved his hand in the air, gesturing at the phone, “wikihow.” 

She shook her head, “what did you want me to do?” What’s wrong with wikihow?” She asked, pointing at him accusingly. 

You sighed, shaking your head. “Well it’s not very good, for one,” you said. “Secondly, this is not a productive use our of time right now,” you pointed at… Mabel, her whole condition. She was a rich blood red from the knees and the forearms to the tips of her fingers and toes, and ghostly white on her face and chest. “Mabel, you’re getting worse.”

You turned to the limp creature on the ground, who seemed smaller than before as she huddled into herself. Dipper seemed to have similar ideas, carefully sidestepping the blood pool creeping toward his sister as he went to investigate. He knelt before the body, and looked back to you before touching it.

You did you best to nod reassuringly, and shot him a thumbs up. He pursed his lips, smiling just slightly. 

Dipper poked the body, gently on head, on the wet and plastered hair. Nothing happened. You heard a faint grumble come from him as he wiped the finger on his pants. 

You scooted over to Mabel, who was emitting cold like an ajar freezer. Side eyeing her, you could see her breath escape her lips. The closer you stood to her the more goosebumps seemed to crawl their way up your arms. You did it anyway, nearly shoulder to shoulder with her as you both watched Dippers observations. If he wants to touch it, all him. 

Dipper moved to the shoulder, brushing away the blood wet hair with a grimace on his face. 

Ugh. You sighed, crossing your arms as you stepped away from Mabel. You knelt beside Dipper, nearly falling over as you refused to uncross your arms while you sat on your heels and balanced on the balls of your feet. 

He glanced over at you, “Are you gonna touch it?” he asked, brow raised and deadpan. 

You shots him a crooked smile and Mabel came and knelt beside you. “Mayhaps?” you offered with a shrug. Mabel nodded along, giving an encouraging thumbs up to her brother with blood red hands. 

Dipper stopped just short of touching the body, eyes locked on his sister. His brow furrowed and mouth hung ajar. “Mabel…” he started, squinting at her. “Mabel you should go see Ford, he might know what’s going on with you.”

”Uh, okay,” she said. Her voice was practically a whisper, almost echoing. But the bathroom wasn’t spacious enough for that. “Yeah, I’m looking kinda off,” she winced, staring at her pale ghostly face in the mirror. She was silent as she stood. Oddly so. The moving of her bones, skin or clothes made no sound, and you had to check to see if she was still beside you. 

And as she snuck off, with a stealth a predator would envy, the room felt a little warmer. You eyed the door she closed behind her. “I think you should text Ford to want him,” you said.

Dipper sighed, nodding as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Yep,” he affirmed, starting to type. 

You crossed your arms as you stared at the body at your feet. It was… gross. Her white silk dress was stained red all over. Definitely a good thing you couldn’t see her face. You looked at the body, stared and bit the inside of your cheek. “We should probably go see Mabel.”

                                             …

Mabel was screaming. The moment you stepped out of the elevator you blocked your ears to defend from her shrill cry. Tired down to a chair, thrashing with her blood red hands, and staring you and Dipper down with her now blood red eyes. Fords basement study was askew, with books knocked off of his desk, and a few pieces of shattered glass pushed to the corner of the room. 

Ford looked at the two of you with wide eyes and furrowed brow. He pointed aggressively at Mabel, not nothing trying to speak over the haunted telling and thrashing, silently asking what the fuck happened? 

You grimaced and looked at Dipper, whose eyes were wide as he stared at his sister. You waited a moment for him to speak, but he doesn’t. You sucked a breath in through your teeth and shouted, “Bloody Mary,” with hands cupped around your lips. 

Mabel started to squirm harder, fists balled as she tired to break free of her restraints. A closer examination enlightened you to the blood dripping from the corners of her mouth, dripping on bloodied clothes from blood red lips. You recoiled slightly, lightly grabbing the sleeve of Dippers sweater. Lucky you, he didn’t seem to notice. 

Ford was livid. He put his hands to his forehead and tiredly pushed back his hair. He gestured wildly at the two of you, and then to Mabel, and then back towards you. He shook his head. “Well, now we have to do an exorcism,” he said angrily.

You raised your brow and yelled across the room, “Those are real? Like they work?” 

Ford nodded gravely. Or maybe it was tiredly. “Yes, they work,” he sighed, gesturing for you to come closer and see his notes.  

You start to step, but there’s a pause. Not in the background noise, Mabel is still going strong, but in the conversation. Usually he’d have something to say by now. You glanced at Dipper beside you, whose eyes are fixed on his sister. It wasn’t hard to notice the way his lips were twitching, and tugged down in the corners. Other than that, completely stoic. And you knew him well enough to know that wasn’t right. Carefully, you tugged his sleeve. 

In a swift motion his head jerked to face you, mouth hung slightly open, and eyes widened as he saw you. “What?” He asked, seeming startled. You still cling to his sleeve, twiddling the fabric between your fingers.

Your voice soft, you nearly mumble, “exorcism.” You hoped he could read your lips through the noise. 

Despite he banging and assortment of odd sounds coming from Mabel, he seemed to have understood you, because he nodded, and finally saw Ford. 

The old man’s face was troubled. You probably weren’t looking amazing yourself, trying to avoid staring down Dipper to gauge his reactions. He came closer to the both of you for better speaking, and carefully explained what they had to. 

And the whole time it was done, your eyes kept wandering to Dipper, praying the clouded and distant look didn’t come back to him. But it always did. Subtle, soft, but so noticeable to you, and probably Ford. The way he twitched, on occasion, when Mabel resisted with a voice not her own. The shakiness of his hands when she thrashed. His furrowed brow and distressed eyes, even when it was done, and she was back and laughing about it. It all seemed to follow him, even as you went back upstairs, completely safe. 

Mabel joked with him, picking up on his manner. And it worked, for a time. He smiled, and you watched, perplexed. And then, her body’s energy, completely wasted by the angry spirit, she slept like a rock. 

And once again, in front of the lull of the TV, you watched it take hold of him. You were close together on the small couch. The hour was late, and despite everything, neither of you were sleep tired. More like bone tired, if anything. He was, at least. “So, are you alright?” You asked, finally. 

Dippers head turned, tipped, and toiled as his lips pursed. “I don’t like possession,” he managed, fingers running up and down the sleeve of his sweater. 

Your fingers seemed to scratch at your knuckles with a mind of their own. Ah. You glanced at him, the silhouette of his side profile. The TV running was suddenly in the background, whatever shitty reality show you were making fun of faded out. Like you couldn’t even hear it.  You nodded, lacking any worth while words. 

He let out a little nose laugh. “Yeah,” he snickered, shaking his head, “I know.” 

You sighed, shaking your arm behind him and wrapping  it around his waist, your hand gently crawling up his side. “Sucks,” you agree, pulling yourself closer to him and resting your head on his chest. You glanced up at him, seeing his soft smile. “But it’s over, at least.”

He carefully took your free hand in his, and kissed the top of your head as he spoke nearly into your hair. “It is.  I’m glad Ford got it done with quickly.” 

“Yeah, this didn’t really go according to plan,” you said, thumbing over his knuckles. 

He laughed softly, and you felt the air from his nose on your head. “Was there even a plan?” He asked, leaning into you. “I thought we were just fucking around to find out.”

You smiled, “well, yeah, but-“ you paused, thinking for a moment. “You know, I don’t think we planned for Mabel to…” you trailed off, shaking your head against his shirt as you chuckled. 

“She knows how to party,” he laughed. His grip on your hand tightened, and you looked up. Tired eyes. A little sad looking. His brow was furrowed as he looked aimlessly down at you. Past you. Through you? 

You huddled impossibly closer. “Over now. No more possession,” you said, throwing your legs across him like a seatbelt. Completely safe. 

“Yeah,” he murmured. He laughed silently through his nose, small smile returning to his lips. “Yeah.”

Next

Fun fact: I started writing this a little before Halloween and ended up finishing it in December. My procrastination is a menace. I’m doing it right now. I have math homework and a philosophy paper due tomorrow and I haven’t started either. Doing great btw (lie)

Another fun fact: me and some friends are gonna go into the woods and look for skinwalker a this weekend to prove to some friends that they aren’t real (real paranormal investigators?? Woah??) so if I stop uploading it’s cuz I’m dead

Taglist: @cipheress-to-k-pop @dead-esque

[mused-like-roses]

~ 1,000 followers ~

// Due to the length, it'll be under a read-more

I remember starting my RPing journey back in... 2014-2015 on this little place called Miiverse. It was the most inconvenient place to start RPing, but we all had to start somewhere. and boy did I had to start somewhere; I didn't know much on the whole RPing shtick, using mostly the script style of RPing (e.g. Ruby: dialogue *actions*), threads didn't go anywhere much, and Miiverse had the problem of rarely having RPers thanks to it's "30 posts a day" limit. I hung around for almost a good year I believe until it was time for Miiverse to slowly die out and close it's door.

It was around it's dying years I stumbled further into the internet's other corners. Places like Deviantart and whatnot... and then there was this little place called Tumblr. My curiosity piqued due to knowing a really really REALLY old mutual back on Miiverse and to an extent Deviantart. My start was awfully ROUGH. I didn't know anything about Tumblr and how it rolled; icons, PFPs, writing, etc. I didn't even start RPing until like... around 2016-2017 maybe? It was slightly better than MV, but it was still a bumpy ride. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't have fun learning the ropes.

My start in the platform was rough to say the least; icons weren't used all that much, I didn't really get all semi-lit - literate like I am today, hell I didn't know jack about trimming my posts! but it didn't stop me from trucking on. I slowly but surely learned the ropes, made a small group of friends, met my first love slowly turned toxic bitch of an ex-GF on here, it was going slow but smoothly. Then around the '17 - '18 period, I started fresh with all the experience in hand. Said years rolled around and I slowly transitioned over to Discord as well, making another slew of friends over there as well.

And that was when things kicked off; I was RPing like it was a casual past time of mine, made many of friends, many of foes, but most importantly I was having fun. And then 2022 came around... my self-promo came to be, and I locked in to take my hobby more serious. Now look at how it started vs. how it's going: I started out knowing nothing about RPing, I ended with years of experience under my belt and many mutuals, and with many mutuals eventually came 1,000 followers. I never thought I'd get this far into my life, let alone the RPC, but here we are. And it wouldn't have been possible without some close mutuals I know and like to give a shout-out to:

@astral-multiverse ~ I'm getting the elephant out of the room with the one I've been by their side the most since day one. What started with small interactions here and there slowly turned into full blown long-term RPs broken up by smaller RPs. We made so many ships with your OC (whom I'll say it before and say it again, is one of my faves in the RPC), and OOC you're a blessed bean that I can go to anytime for anything be it nerding out for venting. Thank you so much for being by my side 'til death does us apart, and here's to many more RPs.

@the-expatriate ~ Much like Astral above, we had tiny interactions here and there. But good gracious you are one of the most blessed muns I've had the pleasures of interacting with. Your OC is AMAZING, we were like twins nerding out about music and similar tastes in games/shows, but most importantly you knew me so well with my Autism and was always there to speak to me when needed. I gotta give you the same amount of thanks for being around this long, couldn't have done it without you.

@grayfxce ~ You are literally the SMG4 of the RPC. What started out as a silly concept of roleplaying as the titular anon soon turned into something huge; you fleshed Gray out into an OC that would fit in any place, anywhere. And boy did we nerd out about similar tastes and shitposted like there was no tomorrow! You're one of the many whose company I've enjoyed greatly, and I hope to RP with you again.

@historias-multorum ~ One of my more recent mutuals I had stumbled across after being followed by them... I made the best call I could ever make when I followed back and started interacting. Your portrayals are spot-on, and you're so understanding and to the point in and out of RPing. And shipping with you is always a treat, especially Sasuten! Thank you for being by my side, I greatly appreciate RPing and speaking with you and hope to continue this train.

@musecheerios ~ Also another recent mutual I've began to interact with, and also another call that I've made that was worth it. Our interactions have been amazing so far, both IC and OOC. You're the literal definition of "Soft Baby Hell" and will not take shit with anyone, something I can appreciate in a mun. Talking with you has been amazing, and I hope to interact more with you!

Honorable mentions for muns I've interacted with and/or yearn to interact with more: @on-dragons-wings, @divinityunleashed, @chronicparagon, @whiskeysmulti, @reddawnmultimuse, @dragvnsovl, @mz-pixie (also an old mutual of mine!), @hxroic-wxlls-rxborn, @samayo-tamashi, @wildxcardrebel, @flamesignite

Thank you all so much for being stuck with this anxiety-induce otaku of a mun, and here's to many more with you guys.

~ May your heart be your guiding key ~

[skysometric]

i didn't really click with Cohost.

i joined Cohost when it first opened registrations to the public. back then, the devs were manually activating accounts so as to not overload the servers, and the activation queue numbered in the thousands. it could take a month or two before your account would be activated for posting – but i was lucky to skip the line, through the good graces of somebody with an invite code.

that invite code came from a little community on Discord, a group of talented and interesting people that i had just joined a couple of months prior to Cohost's grand opening. keen on getting to know them better, i joined in on group conversations in their general chat, commented on their creations in the art channels, and shared my own creations, as i would with any other community. i felt pretty confident that we were getting along well, and i was excited to join them together on a new social media website, where we could all connect in new and exciting ways.

Cohost is how i figured out that i had not actually connected with them whatsoever.

——————

the first thing i did when i got my account (besides sneak in a couple of shitposts) was follow as many people as i could find from this community, considering i didn't know many other people on Cohost at the time. i found about two dozen of them to follow, and of those two dozen, a grand total of three followed me back.

that by itself isn't a terrible thing, i guess. nobody is obligated to follow me back, and not everything i post is to everyone's taste. i get that much – i'd never want to turn social media into a game of connections.

so i brushed that off and kept going. i commented on their posts, just as i was already doing with them on Discord. and as i kept at it, i eventually realized… none of them were replying back to me at all, or even so much as acknowledging that they read what i had to say.

part of this is a problem with Cohost – in the spirit of being a site without metrics, comments had no Like button. this did a great job of not turning every comments section into Reddit, but it had the dual effect of leaving no way to just acknowledge somebody's comment. maybe they were reading my comments and just didn't have anything to say?

by now i was starting to have my doubts… but i wrote this off as a minor issue with Cohost itself, and kept going anyway. their Discord was still lively enough, after all. but enough seeds of doubt had been planted that i slowly started to see my interactions with them in a new light.

i slowly realized that those same people who weren't replying to me on Cohost… weren't replying to me on Discord either, and never had been.

in the group conversations i was part of, where i would drop in messages to contribute to the conversation? none of them directly replied to me. they talked around me like i wasn't there, and kept going with their conversation.

when i posted my creations, none of them commented on them. and when i commented on their creations, none of them said "thank you" back, or even left so much as a heart reaction.

the only people who were actually talking to me in that community were the three folks who had followed me back on Cohost, and a couple of others who never made Cohost accounts. the rest practically treated me like i didn't exist.

i had completely misread the room, and in the process created a parasocial relationship with the entire community. so i left, and when i did, i unfollowed most of them on Cohost as well – save the ones who were actually interested in talking with me.

still, this soured my opinion of Cohost as a whole, and i left it alone for a few months.

——————

i resumed using Cohost when more of my own friends and mutuals started using the platform. only a few folks i know really got into it, but those who did were diehard supporters, enough to prefer it as their main platform, talking up how creative and welcoming the community is. i completely understand why they jumped on it, given the slow death of Twitter has practically forced people to rethink their relationship with social media – and Cohost made a compelling case for a healthier social environment (regardless of my own experiences on the matter).

that said, should i really support a fourth website for the sake of ten to twenty people? i counted it out, and realized that's more than the number of people i actively keep up with on Mastodon, so i gave it another shot.

and while this second attempt lasted significantly longer than the first, i did come to another slow realization: i didn't actually like reading my dashboard on Cohost for some reason?

ostensibly, it comprised a lot of the same mutuals that i've followed for years on other platforms. on a surface level, all the posts they shared (mostly shares rather than original posts) were about the same interests and ideals that i liked seeing them share in other places. but, on Cohost specifically, all of these shared posts were just annoying! i didn't want to read them at all, and every time i did, i felt burned and exhausted by the end – like i had wasted my time.

i shook it around for a few months. maybe i'm still bitter about last time? maybe i don't like Cohost's presentation? but i eventually realized that, while all the posts were similar to what i was used to on a surface level, one thing had changed: the way they were written, the "voice" of Cohost.

——————

so many of the posts that came across my dash were written a certain way. here is a great big title to my great big essay. i am now talking to you, dear reader, and you should listen to me. you should believe this idea that i am telling you. if you don't agree, you are mistaken, and here are all the reasons i think you're wrong.

then somebody else would chime in with a reblog, with its own title and its own essay, and by the end i had finished reading one post that was several times larger than my screen.

essentially, each post was written like a group of teachers talking down to a child for half an hour. which… doesn't make sense to me, because everybody reading the post agreed with them. all the reblogs agreed with them, all the comments agreed with them, i agreed with them – why were they talking down to the reader, when the readers already agree? it just made everything more exhausting to read!

as i was disseminating these thoughts to my partner, she taught me a new word: didactic. i asked her what the word means, and she replied, "exactly what you just said."

the vast majority of the posts i was seeing on Cohost were written in this didactic voice. i realized i was barely seeing any art, or shitposts, or CSS crimes… all while my friends were talking up Cohost for all of its art, shitposts, and CSS crimes. instead, somehow, all i got was sociopolitical essays and dry technical discussions of old computers.

so i unfollowed a bunch of people who were clogging up my dashboard with junk, even some longtime mutuals – and in the wake of my decluttering spree, i realized i was barely following anyone anymore.

——————

finally we arrive at the final nail in Cohost's coffin, one that i can actually attribute to the platform instead of my own misfortunes: a complete and total lack of discovery features.

once i had cleared out all the junk, my dashboard was very slow. i would see about seven new posts a day on average, most of them original posts from friends who didn't really use other sites. i had yet to see this creative side of Cohost that my friends were promising, and i didn't really know how to find it.

on Tumblr i would look at tags, but on Cohost people weren't really consistent with tagging things. a good piece of art might be tagged as its series, or just #art, or it might solely be tagged as #The Cohost Global Feed (which was an "if you know, you know" sort of global tag). and that's assuming it was tagged at all!

tags were a dead end because nobody used them consistently, and worse yet, nobody browsed tags either – creating a negative feedback loop of tags seeming useless. (i was very excited for tag "synonyms," a system where e.g. #gaming and #video games would count as the same tag. unfortunately, it launched a month before Cohost announced its closure, and never got the chance to take off. hey Tumblr, if you're reading this… 👀)

Cohost's stance against numbers and algorithms, while noble, also created a problem where there was no other way to discover new things. you could either browse tags for people to follow (see above), or browse shares in your dashboard for people to follow (which i just got through paring down significantly), and… that's it! there were otherwise no ways to discover new folks on the platform, not even so much as a random post button.

…i did try though! there were times that new folks would jump into my likes or replies, especially via my pet project Now U Know Gaming – so i would check in on my notifications religiously, starving for people to follow. i did follow a handful, but most folks fell into three categories:

they had "piss on the poor" reading comprehension. (this was unfortunately common.)

they shared a lot of the same dry, didactic essays that i was trying to avoid.

they shared art and shitposts!… 50 times a day, which would flood my dashboard and drown out my mutuals.

so my dashboard remained slow until the day Cohost announced its closure, whereupon it lit up with activity for one last hurrah… before closing for good.

——————

in writing all of this out i find myself making comparisons to Tumblr, whether it's reading comprehension or didactic voice or the spotty nature of discovery via tags. the trouble is, i have never once had this much issue with Tumblr on these things. on Tumblr these are occasional annoyances; on Cohost they were defining traits of my time with the platform.

what drives me up the wall is that nobody else seemed to struggle with these things as much as i did. everyone i talked to either loved Cohost, or simply didn't spend a lot of time with it. surely i'm not the only person who tried, and tried, and tried so hard, just to ram into walls at every turn. i would've loved to have seen more CSS crimes… if i didn't also have to live with didactic lectures every other post!

i know there were people out there on Cohost that i would've connected with. i know they exist! but i have no trouble finding people to click with on other social media platforms, while on Cohost it was an impossible task, soured by so many previous attempts. perhaps it is for the best that i can no longer try, even if i wanted to.

to wrap up my long story of Cohost and missed connections, here's one last memory: i made a post about Xenoblade and plurality that i ended up crossposting to several sites, including Cohost and Bluesky. one person found it on Bluesky, and since it didn't have DMs at the time, they decided to send an ask about it on Cohost… to my partner, thinking she was me.

i never once received an ask on Cohost.

[callmesel]

Things I need to draw and/or write

I normally would put this on my Percy & Oliver Related Notebook Plus Other Characters (P.O.R.N.P.O.C for short) but I don't have it and i would like to see other artists want to draw the ideas, or write the scenarios idc.

Plus I'm going to be constantly editing this as I have more ideas in mind.

Percy and Oliver dancing in their apartment's living room

On the beach play with a beach ball, Percy+Oliver vs Fred+George in a family vacation (better if P+O are winning)

Halloween, Percy as little red hood and Oliver as a bear (we all have read that fic, right?)

Them cuddling and sleeping in the same bed, (Percy as the little spoon and Oliver the big spoon)

Oliver messing up a potion that he was doing with Percy that had exploted in his face, Penny laughing in the background.

Oliver and Marcus arguing while Percy and Penny are betting on who is going to win the argument

Percy reading besides a tree with Oliver sleeping on his lap.

Oliver and his daughters (Molly ll and Lucy) baking a cake for Percy's birthday. It's burn.

Percy and Oliver's wedding, in puddlement colors (Oliver's idea)

Percy and Oliver on a date.

Oliver talking about quidditch on early Hogwarts and Percy looking all lovely dovely

Harry and Percy trying to beat Ron at chess, they lose.

FemPercy and FemOliver holding hands in the library.

Oliver jealous of the first years that Percy has to help because he doesn't pay him attention

This scene from Jealous of a Cat by Tamaha

Incorrect quotes/ Shitpost of these two

[otterlyfoolish]

Toriko Roommate HCs

A bunch of Headcanons of on being roommates with the Toriko characters. Semi-shitpost purely because I'm doing this to get a laugh out of it. Pretty platonic stuff. Not edited, I hate editing!

Word count: 2.5k

(Heavenly Kings & Komatsu)

Toriko

I could see him living with someone else if he wasn't able to live in his candy house anymore. It'll probably because they refused to keep making them.

Eats the fridge out. He also eats the ice in the freezer. Nothing is left.

Gone as soon as you step away from the vicinity of the kitchen area.

Don't worry about it too much, he'll leave enough for one serving. Just one. It's for you so you have something to eat for the next meal.

Your shopping trip for one now has to turn into shopping trip for two. If you have a list of stuff to buy hung up on the fridge somewhere, he'll start writing on it. The list of items in his handwriting is more than double of whatever you buy to eat.

He makes up for it though. Causally slams down a massive stack of cash to cover for the cost of it and then walks out to go get lunch with Komatsu or something. 

Invites you out to eat sometimes. Expensive restaurants are just as likely as chance as the local noodle joint. 

You have a pet? No. You had a pet.

Your pet would naturally gravitate towards towards him

He would probably take it on a walk even if it was a pet fish or bug. 

The worse part is that he doesn't even feed it, they just like him more than you. An natural animal's person. 

You'll find them napping together. 

He's a shedder. Blue hair everywhere, he has so much hair it blocks up the vacuum cleaner. 

His clothes are also spread about the place, but when he notices them, he'll chuck them in the washing machine. 

He probably isn't home too much. But you know when he is because you can find a pair of muddy footprints leading up to your front door. 

When he is home, he might bring some people over - he's a social guy when he isn't out hunting or eating

Sometimes might bring over Komatsu. You'll find the two of them sitting on the couch watching some cooking show. These are the best days because he usually stays until dinner and makes all three of you food to eat. 

His brothers might come over. Coco is a delight to have. Sunny is snippy, but you can tell he cares somewhat. Zebra… You're afraid that he won't stop at emptying your fridge, and will start chomping down on the metal container. 

You could probably grow used to being his roommate, there's nothing too bad, just a collection of a lot of little things.

Coco

I don't even know how you convinced him to be roommates with you - I cannot imagine a scenario where he would do this. 

But it barely even matters since you won't see him. Like at all. You'll have to live with him for a couple years before he even thinks about starting to warm up to you.

Almost always in his room. He's deathly silent too - you won't hear a single thing from him ever. The absolute most you'll hear is him talking to some sort of bird outside his window(?) You still aren't really sure who he's talking to, but you occasionally hear some bird sounds.

On the rare occasion you see him outside, he's reading a thick book about something you'll need a master's degree to fully understand. He'll simply greet you and return to reading. Don't stare too long or he'll retreat back to his room. 

You have no idea how often he's at home, purely because you have no idea if he's even home or not from how much noise he makes. The only way you could really tell is seeing if his shoes are gone or not. It's unsettling, borderline frightening. 

Extremely respectful of the shared space - no dishes in sink, the place is well-maintained, there's barely any indication that you live with another person. The only thing that's his is the massive bookcase that takes up a fair chunk of the room. 

If he likes you, he'll let you read some of the books on the shelf. Just under no circumstances do you dog-ear the pages. Your privilege will be revoked instantly. The bookshelf will be replaced with one that requires a lock, or even worse, moves to his room and you will truly never see him again. 

If you're friendly enough with him, you could possibly invite him to watch something together on the television. 

If you ask him what he wants to watch, you'll end up watching a three-hour long documentary on something - pray it's a topic you like or you might not make it out awake. 

If you fall asleep during it, he'll just turn it off, and probably won't accept any other offers to watch stuff with you. It's not that he's offended, it's more so he sees it as redundant if you're not even going to be awake.

Don't worry about it too much, if you like playing puzzle games on a console, he might come out and watch you play. He won't say anything though, even if you get stuck. If you want help, you have to ask him.

Never brings guest over. Though, guests will sometimes make their way over. 

Toriko and Komatsu are the more common ones. They usually come bringing food. It's a good day when they come to visit because they will share food with you. 

Sunny is rarer, if you see him, it's usually urgent and Coco will leave alongside him immediately. You probably won't see him for a week at least.

Once, and only once you met a man covered in blood, half naked with a ripped jaw. You fainted at the sight.

Coco later told you that that man was his 'baby brother'. You still don't know if it was fragment of your imagination.

A stickler that he seems to keep doing is showering in scalding hot water. If you forget and just jump in, your skin will burn. 

Apart from that, he's a fairly good roommate? He'll leave you alone, and won't cause any fuss unless you're doing something he really, really doesn't like.

Sunny

Passive aggressive as hell

If you shed a lot of hair, and aren't diligent on vacuuming it up in time, he'll gather all of it up and place it in front of your bedroom door.

If you leave the dishes undone for too long in the sink, he'll do the same thing  - leave it at your door to trip up on. 

You'll probably have a lot of petty arguments with him. Nothing serious. 

He's a good roommate in other ways though.

He's probably not against sharing his skin care products with you if he doesn't hate you too much. He'd probably even give you tips on how to help or maintain it.

But do not ask him to borrow any or his hair products. None. 

You will never see a bug in your living quarters ever again - he will eliminate the cause effective immediately. 

The same applies to rats, or any pests of any kind. He will not tolerate having any of these things in his home, so you'll also be safe from it.

If you watch TV, he might come in uninvited and give you running commentary on the people's appearances or the show itself.

"Really? That shirt with those pants?"

…Even though he's kind of a fashion disaster himself. The only reason he can pull it off is because he has unrivalled confidence in himself.

"…Gross. He's obviously having an affair with the girl at his workplace. The story isn't even good."

He'll still watch shitty dramas as long as you keep it on the screen.

You think that he secretly enjoys it.

"…Are you seriously watching Toriko eat absurd amounts of food for entertainment?"

Insert scoff here.

He might actually just turn the TV off for this one.

Just remember to turn down the volume if you're watching late at night - he will be very upset if you interrupt his beauty sleep.

Rin has a pair of spare keys to your place. You'll see her in and about even if Sunny isn't home at the moment. The two of you sometimes trash talk him, but she mostly just waves at you and continue doing… whatever she's doing at your place.

Sometimes when she comes over, the place smells 10x better. You're not sure what magic she works, but you swear it could be drugs.

Overall, not a bad roommate, but could certainly be better. 

Zebra

…You really wanna do this? Alright.

I'd recommend buying sound-proof headphones and sound-proofing your room.

It doesn't actually help that much, but it's really just for your own peace of mind.

Also team "Empties the fridge", but doesn't stop there. 

You're concerned he might actually just eat the fridge. Whole. Unhinge his jaw like a snake and crunch it like nothing.

Jokes about eating your pet if you have one.

He makes half threats about eating you if you don't buy food everyday.

Doesn't even matter if you do buy food every day since he probably won't be there the next day

If Toriko had muddy footprints, he has bloody ones. Do Not Ask. He'll answer you, but you won't like the answer he gives you. Just save yourself the horror. 

Police will absolutely come by a couple times a month purely because of your neighbours calling them on him.

Maybe it's the bloody footprints. Maybe it's the fact he broke the 'tiny' doorway on the way in.

When they explain that they thought that he was going to kill you, you laugh but wonder if the police would even stand a chance if he was going to kill you. 

It doesn't help that he leaves for weeks at a time and comes stumbling in covered in gore he hasn't really bothered to clean off yet. 

You don't even really know what to do in this situation apart from explain that he's a roommate.

No, he's not trying to kill you.

No, he is not holding you hostage.

Yes, you would like for them to stop coming at this point. 

The few redeeming qualities are:

Your home is completely safe. You will never worry about a break in - he can hear anything happening for miles and miles. In fact, if anyone were break in, it would be him. 

Yes, he's done it before after losing his keys.

Yes you just woke up, walked out to see him covered in blood, waved at him then went back to sleep.

Yes, you are far too desensitised to blood now. 

Rats and other creatures are too afraid of living in your home - pests will actively avoid living there. Just be careful about your pet running away from home if they're able to. (They'll get used to him eventually)

He will sometimes bring back an absolutely massive chunk of meat - . You may eat it if he likes you enough.

But if you eat it, you have to help him cook it. No matter how good you are at it, he'll just shake his head.

…He's probably thinking that Komatsu could do better.

Komatsu

In my opinion, the best roommate on this list. Purely because he is the most normal on this list. 

Will cook for you. You will cry tears of joy. Weep. You will be grateful simply because of how tasty it is.

He'll be organised with the kitchen, it'll pretty much always be full.

Just… If you move anything, remember where it came from, because he'll get pretty upset if you keep doing this. He likes a system to his madness.

The fridge will be fairly stocked, but he'll keep a list of what he needs on a paper stuck to a magnet. It'd be appreciated if you could buy these items when he can't.

You don't get to spend a lot of time with him. Between being Toriko's partner and running his kitchen at Hotel Gourmet, he doesn't have a lot of free time.

When he comes home, it's late at night. The two of you should be asleep.

In fact, he tells you that you should be asleep at this time. Fucking hypocrite.

When you do get to spend time with him, he's probably in the kitchen tinkering around with something new he bought at the World Kitchen or something Toriko had swung by to give him.

If you really wanna spend time with him, you should just pull up a chair to the counter.

If you're close enough to him, he'll invite you to help make dinner.

Don't worry, he'd give you something really, really simple to do.

There is no room for disappointment.

If he isn't experimenting, he'll probably be watching some sort of cooking show. (A massive part of his personality is just flipping cooking and I love it so fucking much) You're welcome to join him watching the show.

Just be careful since he will be asking you what you think about contestants three's pie crust. He will not be satisfied with a half-assed answer.

He'll have a notepad on his lap, and he'll be taking notes whenever something interests him.

His notes are very neat, so you can read them, but you aren't sure if they make much sense.

Toriko is a common sight in your home. He'll just sit on the couch with a bag of food he took out of the fridge. He'll give you a nice big grin while waving at you with your lunch plans in his mouth.

Komatsu will probably scold him a bit, but you know that nothing will change. You'll probably see him in two weeks doing the same thing again.

Since he isn't home often, and he's a pretty likable, you'll probably start doing his portion of his chores after long enough. He insists you don't have to, but you'll probably end up doing it.

He also gets you to get rid of the spiders. Don't kill them though, after meeting Toriko, he'd avoid doing these things. Just put them outside.

Don't try to scare him even as a joke - he will scream his lungs out and your neighbours will think that a murder had happened.

Also… be careful you don't join his fucking harem.

[cyberphuck]

ROYAL ASSASSIN ABRIDGED: PART TWO

My friend Razz wants to understand my shitposting about Robin Hobb’s Farseer Trilogy, but they don’t want to actually have to read the books, so I’m summarizing it for them (and you)! (Check out all the other entries in the Farseer Trilogy Abridged series at the masterpost. Also if you think I’m funny you can send me a ko-fi from there.)

EDIT: added some strikethroughs where they were supposed to go and put something funny where I had just left the reminder to write something funny. Last Time on Dragon Book Z (rip Toriyama sensei), Fitz finally made it home from the mountains. He’d seen via Skill-o-Vision that Molly had been viked by Vikings, and he was desperate to see if she’d flagged herself ‘safe’ from Being Raided on Facebook…

The next day, Fitz is minding his own business being told by Cook Sara that he looks like shit when he spontaneously decides to climb sixty four flights of stairs. Considering that his tiny teenaged body is still 89% poison by volume and he just got home from the worst road trip of his life (so far!), by the time he gets to the top he's facedown on the floor, pushing himself along by his toes.

  “Hello, Lil Accident,” Verity says, putting down his binoculars. “Wow, you look like shit.”

  “So I’ve been told,” Fitz mumbles to the floor. ”You look a lot less skeletal than when I last saw you.“

  ”Thanks! I had sex.“

  Fitz tries to get up and fails. ”I didn't even know you'd be up here.”

  “Aha, but you see, I Skilled you here, and you didn't even know it. In fact I've been balls-deep in your brain for a week with you none the wiser, because this is a thing I can do with the Skill.“

  Fitz spits out a mouthful of dust. ”Wow, when do I get to learn that kind of thing?“

  ”Never,“ Verity smiles, turning back to the window. ”Come look at my ships.“

  Dragging himself up to the windowsill, Fitz peeks out. “Neat! We'll be able to defend ourselves against the Vikings with these for sure!“

  ”Yes,” Verity growls. “And I can't wait to continue the cycle of violence by going all the way to the Viking home planet and viking them back!“

  Somewhere downstairs, the Fool rubs his temples, sighing loudly.

  ”Anyway, now that I've forced you to climb all the way up here, let's go back down so I can get something to eat.” Verity picks Fitz up by the scruff of his neck. “I want to hear all about your little trip to the Big Onion.“

  They head down to Verity's man cave, and after watching 'ASSASSIN'S APPRENTICE ENDING EXPLAINED— WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO AUGUST,' Verity reads the comments, most of which point out that Regal should have totally died in a fire for plotting to kill his own brother and murdering a bunch of the wedding party.

  Fitz looks at the hay bale in the corner, where the Fool is updating his Linkedin. ”Listen, I have a way bigger part in this book than the last one,“ the Fool says without looking up. ”I'm not gonna have time to re-explain who everybody is to you whenever you want. I've got a big death scene coming up.“

  ”You're going to die?!“ Fitz cries.

  ”Someone is,“ the Fool murmurs.

  ”You're probably wondering why I haven't punished Regal for any of the stuff he did last book,“ Verity says, steepling his fingers. ”And the truth is, I'm not going to, because he'll just throw a temper tantrum about it and I don't want to deal with that.“

  ”What if he tries to kill one of us again?“

  ”Pff, don't worry about it, Lil Accident.“ Verity waves him off. ”You can take tomorrow off to go look for your dead girlfriend.“

  Fitz stands up. ”Thanks Prince Verity, I'm gonna go have a seizure before bed.“

  But as soon as he steps out of the room, Lacey jumpscares him and drags him off to go see Lady Patience, who is laying in a pile of her current hyperfixations. ”You missed the wedding,” she says accusingly.

  ”Sorry, Mrs. My Dead Dad's Wife,“ Fitz sighs. ”Regal tried to, uh, do whatever the opposite of poisoning me and trying to drown me is, and now whenever I get excited I fall over.“ He accepts a glass of wine from Lacey, then dumps it over his head. “I've gotta move on to the next plot point now.”

  Fitz is staggering up the stairs, leaving a wet smear of Rosé after him, when a Servant Girl comes to take his arm. “Here, sir,” she says sweetly. “Let me help you weave drunkenly back to your chambers. Wouldn't want you falling down the stairs and breaking your stupid lying neck.”

  “Thanks, mysterious servant girl. You can drop me off at the corner, I’ll walk from here.”

  But instead of letting him have a seizure in peace, the Servant Girl punches him in the gut and kicks him in the nads, because she's Molly!

  “Holy shit, you're alive!” Fitz sobs. “Oh man, I had a vision that you got viked, it was awful—”

  Molly kicks him in the nads again. “I did get viked, and afterwards I came here looking for you to ask you to loan me some cash, or get married to me. My dumb ass went around to all the servants going 'hey, have you seen the scribe's apprentice, he looks just like FitzChivalry Farseer,' and someone filmed me and made a TikTok titled 'tfw you find out your boyfriend is really The Bastard.'”

  “Oh,” Fitz cringes.

  “Yeah 'oh,'” Molly says. “It has sixteen million views and hashtag Cat-Fitzed is trending on Twitter.”

  “It's called X now,” Fitz squeaks. “What about the older, hotter guy I saw you walking off with?“

  ”That was my cousin,“ Molly snarls. ”Do you think I'd date someone with an earring?“

  “Gosh, it's a good thing I don't wear one of those,” Fitz says, polishing his collar.

  ”Anyway, you're gross and I hate you,“ Molly declares. ”Do not, under any circumstances, continue to attempt to woo me. Goodbye.”

  Despite Fitz's best efforts, he continues to have a seizure any time he tries to do anything except have a seizure. Even into the next day, he's still ragdolling like a character in a seventy dollar video game on release day. The Fool appears briefly to catch a glimpse of Fitz in his underwear, but before they can do any real flirting, Lacey and Patience show up again.

  “Listen, Prince Dumbass,” Patience says, “you fucked up bigtime letting Molly think she was in your league. She came here thinking you'd grown up in a double-wide same as her, drinking off-brand kool aid and saving butter containers to use as tupperware. When people found out you lied to her, they started calling her a hump-and-dump.”

  “But we never even humped,” Fitz objects.

  “And it's a good thing, too, because as royalty you're only allowed to hump at the King's pleasure. Princes are not allowed to run around sticking their dick in whoever they want, that's how we ended up with you. You'd just make a bunch more Fitzes, and we don't have enough paid extras anymore to traumatize *all* of those kids.”

  “We could drown them,” Lacey suggests, working on a cross-stitch that says 'GALS BEING PALS.'

  ”They wouldn't be Fitzes if me and miss Molly got married,“ Fitz says. ”I'll just go and do that real quick.“

  Patience whacks him in the head with a rolled up newspaper. ”No! You're going to marry whoever the King tells you to marry, and no one else. We learned our lesson with Chivalry: we can never, ever allow you to have any control over your life whatsoever, and that includes caring about anyone other than whoever is wearing a crown that day. Besides, didn't you already sign a contract to do whatever King Shrewd told you to do without question forever?”

  “I was nine, I don't really feel like that was binding—”

  Patience grabs Fitz by the front of his shirt and jerks him forward. “Do not,” she says, “have sex with Molly. Do NOT have sex with Molly. DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH MOLLY.”

  “No promises,” Fitz shrugs. “Hey, do you have a backstory other than being the ADHD widow of my deadbeat dad?”

  Patience runs away crying. As soon as she's gone, Chade shows up. “Hey,” he says gently. “Don't cry. Kettricken's dad roped her into a political marriage and now she's miserable and lonely. That can happen for you, too.”

  “This sucks,” Fitz moans.

  “Remember not to have sex with Molly,“ Chade says as he crawls back into his wall-hole.

  ”Whatever. I'm going down into town to find my soulmate.”

  Fitz, wearing his slouchiest beanie, his blackest hoodie, and his unhappiest expression of teenaged angst, stomps down the road into Buckkeep town, hands shoved in his pockets. “Stupid Farseers,” he mutters. ”Always hasslin' me and tellin' me what to do. What do they know? Man, nobody understands what it's like to be me.“

  *Oh, you you think you got it bad, little bitch boy?*

  The entire fandom erupts into cheers and applause as the character in possession of the single teaspoon of sense in the entire series arrives.

  Fitz looks up, snarling, and locks eyes with a wolf trapped in a cage labeled 'ESSENTIAL NPC'. The angry little ball of fluff is just one of many wares sold by a dude in a full body fursuit. “Good morrow, emo child,” Fursuit says, oozing greasily forward. “I see you eyeballing that young cub. You know, an animal like that could really be useful if, say, you were a royal Bastard with Doctor Doolittle magic who was sent out to fight zombies a lot.“

  ”I'll trade you a pack of gum for him,“ Fitz offers.

  ”He's worth way more than that,“ Fursuit says. ”I went through all the trouble of building a rocketship for his wolf-mother and wolf-siblings so they could return to their home planet.“

  *I'll kick your ass! I'll kick everyone's ass! I'll kick my own ass!!*

  *'Shut up, I'm negotiating!'*

  ”A pack of gum AND this cool rock I found,“ Fitz bargains expertly, then kicks Fursuit in the shin, grabs the wolf, and runs off.

  Fitz carries Wolfcub back up to Buckkeep, looking forward to the 'wrestling with a wild animal to show dominance' scene, but then realizes that the cub is too weak and tiny to put up a good fight. What was even the point of having a pet wolf if he couldn't have a badass fight with it and then stand shirtless against the sunrise? Also, Fitz has already had two canines in his life bond to him and then have to return to their home planets, and he's kind of tired of that happening.

  *'My apartment has a no pets policy, so you're gonna have to stay in the tool shed,'* he tells Wolfcub. *'Don't wit-bond to me.'*

  Then, with nothing better to do, he leaves to go do the thing Patience and Chade explicitly told him not to: Have Sex With Molly.  ”The fuck is wrong with you lately?“ Burrich asks, some days later while he and Fitz are hanging out at the bar.

  Fitz sighs. ”I keep trying to have sex with Molly, but things are always getting in the way of my dick," he says mournfully.

  ”Mm. Been there,“ Burrich mutters, pulling down his sleeve to cover up his 'PATIENCE CHIVALRY BITTERNESS AND BURRICH 4 EVER' tattoo. ”Which one is Molly?“

  ”The hot one that kicks people in the nuts.“

  ”Oh, yeah. Half my age. I like that in a girl,“ Burrich says, and everybody decides to just go with it. ”Here's my advice to you: give up and move on. Get your post-rejection glow up, and your girl will go off to marry someone else.“

  ”That sounds like it sucks,“ Fitz says doubtfully. “When do I finally get to have sex with her?”

  Burrich grins. “That's the neat thing! You don't.”

  The next morning, Fitz gets out of bed, takes a big, cleansing breath, then puts his earbuds in and turns on his Montage Song.

  “Time for that glow up,” he says really loudly because he can't hear himself over the music.

  'Cause baby you're a firework

Fitz wrapping measuring tape around his bicep and frowning;

come on and show 'em what you're worth

running laps around the castle with Wolfcub chasing after him;

make 'em go oh! oh! Oh!

standing on one foot like in Karate Kid while Pat Morita decomposes nearby;

as you you shoot across the sky-ay-ay

Burrich taking away his AXE body spray and shoving him into the shower;

baby you're a firework!

carb-loading at the local Fantasy Pizzeria;

come on and let your colors burst

lifting weights while Wolfcub tries to bite him;

make 'em go oh! oh! Oh!

measuring his bicep again, and nodding in satisfaction.

you're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe

  “I'm bored,” Kettricken sighs as she and Fitz hang out with Kettricken's entourage. “I wish Verity would get me pregnant.“

  ”How can you be bored with fifty people constantly offering to play with you?“ Fitz says. ”Also, ew.“

  ”I could be back home fighting bears and lifting sacks over my head,” Kettricken whines, “but I'm stuck here in Lamesville with these boring losers and my husband is constantly off doing Skill stuff instead of having sex with me. Lady Modesty is constantly suggesting we watch the 2005 version of Pride and Prejudice,” she adds, disgusted.

  Fitz slaps her. “Your job here isn't to be butch! This castle has been a fucking sausage party for years, and the best person to Girlboss it up is you. That means making moodboards, drinking iced coffees, doing each other's nails and YES, watching the objectively worse version of Pride and Prejudice! Look at Lady Hopeful, she's unironically singing along to 'I Knew You Were Trouble'! Now suck it up, buttercup, and go watch the part where Mr. Darcy confesses his love to Elizabeth!”

  “Yes sir,” Kettricken mumbles.

  “Bastard, first name The?“ a messenger says as he clips through the wall. ”King Shrewd finally wants to see you.“

  Fitz stands up, brushes himself off, and heads up to Grandpa's house...

[chubbygrape]

Store: A case study 🔪🖤

Have such a love for the eldritch so Store and his little butchery thing are fascinating to me, like i love this awkward pool toy looking bird so much and I've decided to make it everyones problem with this shitpost

----------------------

Anyone too lazy to read all that tho, heres a quick summary of all points below that paint the picture of who Store really is:

-----------------

A businessman 👨‍💼📈

Concerned greatly about the future of his establishment < takes an active approach by engaging in production and release of new products. 💡

Monopoly: market forces are irrelevant < sole seller < niche market < great profits 💹

Great Marketing Skills < Utilises marketing techniques 🗂

Is a TV celebrity 🎥⭐️

Has a Phd 🎓

Loves Boss ❤️

Great hygiene 🫧🧼

Supports native fauna and flora 🌷🦇

-----------------

now lets get into it -

Inside his Butchery :

I literally love how he has just chucked all the devil meat into a literal bookshelf, like no fridge, no glass case, no nothing , just straight into the shelves.

But then i also noticed the sign at the top which translates to 'Old Meat' apparently , which made it even funnier to me like anything not fresh he just shoved right in there and thats just how you run an institute at the end of the day

2. We got some unintelligible posters, like what are those?? I kept squinting and turning the screen upside down, could literally not tell whatsover

3. Speaking of posters though, in a bonus curse the posters were replaced with a Chidaruma picture and honestly thats the cutest thing ever , big 'i love my boss' energy.

But I need to know the specifics now like was Chidaruma handing pictures, like where did Store get that pic from?

4. At another point also, after Asu was butchered, we had a new posted hand written talking about fresh meat?

So Store can write now??? Is my manic angel bird demon educated? its giving phd

5. Lastly on the point of posters, Store is out there promoting sales - a whole 20% off, he is running a business!!!

6. We got a little ottoman chair, dont want the waiting customer to be standing and getting tired ofc

7. Those horn like things that are all over Hell are also hanging from the ceiling and thats confusing to me cause like was this an active decor decision?

cause i know damn well it didnt come with the property - unless theyre like a sort of flora or fungus idk

[not even going to comment on the bats]

8. Hanging helps tenderise the meat, and its a common practice where butchers will hang the animal bodies in fridges and freezers and whatnot, but have you also considered you can just hang it in the middle of your shop, right in the open, over the customer's head?

9. Are these bones??

10. mysterious liquid jars??? (its blood isnt it)

11. A sink with some soap, we love hygiene ❤️ - An a kettle cause why not we know store likes tea

12. But then on the topic of meat, you also have sausages at a certain point - And im 99% sure Store only deals in Devil Meat (talk about niche market) , so hes just flat out making devil sausages?

Which actually not surprising - his pie chart literally shows how hes working on new releases, I mean we got a mince meat version now! ++ the Niku Strong K that helps with hair loss!

13. Big of him to be worried about keeping devil meat fresh when hes out there storing meat uncovered in room temperature but im not judging

14. Expandable areas -- There's extra rooms to the butchery we havent been shown and now I have to be mad and wonder cause how does this thing live!!!! I need to know!

My guess: guessing he has like an actual meat prep room, plus if hes mincing and making sausages sure he should have a space for that -- I think he also lives there (?) so guessing another extra room could be his room.

15. Extra: Store in a tshirt and a bib - love.

Outside the Butchery :

All these trash bags must be waste, but now I wonder who collects the trash? Does Hell has its own trash collection system?

Also is that a satellite?? Store watches TV? good for him. Actually no surprise there since he has his own channel he stars in (celebrity ⭐️)

Anyways 10/10 , he's doing a great job

Final author note: You know in retrospect, if i was one of the strongest beings in existence that could kill Devils and was the only one thus handlind Devil meat thats so essential to the lifecyle of devils, I also wouldnt give a fuck and a chuck all the meat raw in the shelves - either take it and pay up or leave it , idc

[lightsoutletsgo]

Congrats on 500 followers! Such an exciting milestone! Can I ask for a celebration ship (ideally 2 lol)? I’d describe myself as introverted, intellectual, and a walking shitpost lol I love music (literally all kinds), books (I have a booktube channel), coffee, video games, and touching grass. I’m plus size and I go to the gym everyday and I’ve been doing archery for almost 25 years (I’m not as old as that makes me sound; I’ve been shooting for most of my life) and I am an Olympic-style competitor (I’m not good enough for the Olympics yet, but a girl can dream). I have a degree in English lit/creative writing and I work in the legal field. My friends would describe me as the dependable one, the one who always shows up, the one who gives the beat hugs, and the one most likely to go to war on their behalf. In a partner I look for someone I can laugh A LOT with, someone who can talk about literally anything and who is interested in lots of things, and someone who REALLY likes cuddling.

Thank you so much in advance! Your work is so good and I’m so excited to keep reading. Here’s to another 500!

🏹 anon

hello love! thank you so so much for sending in your request! omg you sound so interesting and cool 😭 I really had to do a little thinking about who I was gonna put you with 👀 but I think I got it? happy reading! mimi

LEWIS HAMILTON ᝰ.ᐟ₊ ⊹ - calls you darling and love - loves, loves, LOVES your thighs! they're so cosy and comfy. he's also obsessed with your hips - his love language is physical touch and acts of service - nothing he loves more than a cuddle session with you and he is a firm believer that there's nothing a cuddle can't fix

as an athlete himself, lewis knows how much time and dedication you have to put into becoming one of the best and so he loves supporting you on your journey for that. he comes to as many practices and competitions as he can and he loves to offer up his physiotherapist for you to use too! of course now and again he loves to try things out himself and rather annoyingly it doesn't take him long to get the hang of it! of course it's always nice seeing his arms and hands flex when he tries so do you actually mind?

the two of you spend plenty of evenings listening to music together whether it's new tunes on spotify or golden oldies on vinyl. lewis loves to gently tap out the rhythms on your hands and hips as he holds them and it's easily a soothing motion that helps if you ever get overwhelmed while out with him.

lewis understands that your job can be stressful and so he loves to help you unload as much as he can at the end of the day. if he's far away he's right there on facetime, smiling at you as you cuddle with roscoe on the couch and rant to him. or if he's in person, he's offering a back massage, shoulder massage, starting to make dinner and telling you to go an shower the day away while he puts your cosy clothes in the dryer.

"love?" lewis emerges from the garden where he's been doing a light workout, "where'd you go?" he's not concerned at the lack of response, he knows you've had a lot of work you've been focusing on lately and so he surmises you've probably fallen asleep somewhere. roscoe is nowhere to be found either, having grown bored of watching lewis' workout halfway through and plodding back into the house, so lewis knows he'll find the two of you curled up either on the couch or the bed.

walking through the living room, the couch is empty and so he heads straight for the bedroom. he quietly opens the door, smiling to himself at the sound of your heavy breathing and roscoe's snoring. he closes the door and showers as fast as he possibly can. his body craving yours and needing to be close to you. once he's showered, he emerges into your shared bedroom once more, pulling his sweatpants on and carefully sliding into bed behind you. wrapping an arm around you, you shift in your sleep, nose wrinkling slightly as you're disturbed. it doesn't take more than a soft 'shhh' and kiss to the head from lewis before you're settled once more, body naturally wriggling closer to him a little more as you seek his body heat. lewis closes his eyes with a happy hum. this is his favourite place.

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

CHARLES LECLERC ᝰ.ᐟ₊ ⊹ - calls you mon amour or mon ange - charles loves your smile! whether it's your soft half-asleep smile first thing in the morning or a massive grin that greets him when he gets home after a long triple-header - his love language is quality time - he could spend hours praising you for the smallest things, just to watch the way you melt and flourish under his love and adoration. to him, you're a goddess!

charles loves that you're his shy little bookworm! he's that much in love with you that he's turned one of the big windows of his monaco apartment into your reading nook; complete with cosy chair, shelves, lighting and a small coffee table with a mug warmer to keep your coffee at the right temperature all the time! one of his favourite ways to pass the time when he's home is to sit and play piano while you read. he tells you it's a good exercise in practicing different styles and emotions of song. he'll ask you what mood the scene you're reading is and start playing accordingly.

he loves to watch you make videos for your youtube channel and often adds his opinion. your followers love it so much that it turns into a regular weekly segment on your channel! charles is in awe that your degree is in creative writing and is summoning up the courage to ask you to write a bedtime story he can gift and read to his niece for her birthday.

he knows you're the dependable friend, he sees it in the way you are with the people around you. but he also knows that that can sometimes be a little tiring and difficult when you yourself are struggling and so he becomes your dependable person. he loves being able to do the little things for you to make it easier.

the rain gently patters against the window of your apartment as grey clouds roll over the harbours of monaco. but here in your apartment with charles, it's warm and cosy and homely. it's a rare weekend that he's home and you've been spending time existing together. you've been reading while he plays piano, a new composition brewing in his head and now in his phone voice memos but now a sleepy atmosphere is settling over the apartment.

charles leans against the big L-shaped couch as you lay in-between his legs. his hands gently run up and down your sides as you lazily hum the tune he was playing barely five minutes earlier. he lets out a breath of laughter and smiles down at you, one hand coming up to stroke your head as you tilt your head up. he stares at you for a moment, just enjoying having you in his lap. his finger gently traces your face. across your cheeks, up your nose, across your bottom lip. he grins at you, completely lovesick as your eyelashes flutter shut and you sigh. leaning down he kisses you softly once, then again and once more.

[gisellelx]

Do you think Carlisle was still going to church even tho he was a vampire?

I've done a LOT of thinking and research about this, over the years, so apologies for the length here. I actually dropped most of my headcanon about this on the ole' sideblog not too long ago. But since I am 150% committed to the bit over there, there's no room for explaining why my reading leads to my writing that Carlisle thinks a particular way, since he presumably has no knowledge of the text.

A lot of misunderstandings about Carlisle's relationship with religion, IMO, come from trying to view him and his father through the lens of contemporary American evangelical Christianity. Evangelical Christians, as we know them in the US, are a very, very recent development--they date back to roughly the Regan era, and if they claim denominational affiliation (many do not), they are typically Pentecostal, Methodist, or Baptist.

Carlisle canonically is the son of an Anglican priest. This was the 1640s-1660s, and one of his scant human memories is of the Protectorate, meaning that either his father loved Cromwell or hated Cromwell. Given that, plus the rest of what we know about his dad--that he believed in evil, and hunted demons (anachronistic btw), it seems likely that he was a Puritan. Americans are familiar with the separating Puritans as part of our country's founding mythos--the settlers who came seeking freedom to practice their religion and you know whoops just accidentally did a genocide but not before having a big meal with the Wampanoag!

But there was a second set of nonseparating Puritans who stayed in England, and tried to reform the Anglican church from within. So if we take at face value that Carlisle remembers his father as "Anglican," plus the attitudes toward evil and strong memory of Cromwell, this is likely where Carlisle landed. His church upbringing would've been heavy on the fire and brimstone in the preaching, but still based on an order of worship derived from the Catholic service, with an order of confession, weekly readings from the Old and New Testaments according to the lectionary (as opposed to the modern nondenominational practice of reading whatever the heck the pastor feels like/following a newer bible reading schedule), the recitation of the Lord's Prayer and the creed, and music of psalmodys, occasional hymns, fractions and collects. Communion would've been celebrated frequently.

I suspect, that as a vampire, Carlisle still finds a great deal of solace in that worship pattern. It is one of the few things that is very little changed in his long life. I think he pops into an Episcopal church once every couple years, and when a congregation sings the oldest collects, it moves him to what otherwise would be tears because some deep part of his mind remembers the music the same way an elderly patient with dementia would.

So yes, I think he goes on occasion. I definitely meant this kind of as a shitpost when I wrote it, but it also rings true--he still takes seriously the trappings of the faith practices he grew up with. They are meaningful to him. I loved the new canon introduced in MS that he likes popping into churches when the family are out hunting because it felt very in character and also gives him a really delightful soft side.

He doesn't go often. He doesn't feel like he has to. But he still does find meaning in it all, and to him, it still matters.

[rodanhoax]

Wow... Let me just say, before you possibly read this, this was originally just another copy pasted rwby quote shitpost thing like I usually do. Said copy pasted quote will hopefully be more obvious near the end. But then, as I was writing, I just kept going, and going, and going, and going, until a hour in I realized, I was still going. But, I had already written most of it, so I thought I may as well finish it. 

I don’t really know how many will like, or even care about this, but I hope the ones that do enjoy the read. It’s pretty rough not gonna lie, don’t got anybody to beta-read this. I’ll probably not do something this again, except possibly on a random whim out of nowhere, much like this. Either way, I stalled long enough. 

Behold what happens when an idea expands further than intended with no certainty about the quality!

Atop a lonely single tower, sat a princess. For an almost undermined amount of time, this one room was all that she knew. All that she could exist in. At one side sat her her handmaiden, currently making the room as clean and neat as she could. The girl was a cat faunus about her age, with long black hair and vibrant amber eyes, along with cute little cat ears atop her head. The two weren’t particularly close, the girl seemed to hold a quiet distain for the princess if anything. Not that the princess could blame her, seeing as her family practically enslaved her and forced her to work for the princess. On the other side were two guards, perched in front of the door to the room, her only means of leaving. Before her was but a single window, perched up to allow her at least some connection to the outside. She brushed her silky white hair as she looked out at the world, wishing longingly to be apart of it. All that she knew about the outside came from books her handmaiden leant to her occasionally. 

While many were rather fantastical, leaving her to believe them to be fiction, there were also tales of numerous knights and heroes who could certainly exist. Her favorite, certainly being the story about the Rusted Knight. While many were uncertain about his actual appearance, some accounts claimed him to be rather handsome. Others would even state to have gotten the chance bed him, claiming him to be a rather well-endowed and... virile lover. Oh, how she wished she could be part of his tales. Rescued from her lonely tower by him, giving her the chance to not only explore the world, but take back and restore her kingdom, as well as her family name, from her bastard of a father. Perhaps this would also be enough for the knight to feel he has redeemed himself, and settle down. ‘Preferably with me...’ The princess thought, a red tinge arising on her cheeks as she imagined the knight taking her, and blessing her with many heirs. A sigh left her mouth as her imagination died down, revealing her cage once more. As much as she wished she could escape into her mind and leave this world behind, she couldn’t ignore where she was. Her fantasy was just that. A fantasy. One she couldn’t hope to leave from.

However...

Just as her hope was nearly diminished, the subtle sound of a horn ran through the air. This surprised the princess out of her stupor as wondered where that sound came from. Then she heard it again. Louder this time. As she listened in closer, her head almost fully out the window, she could make out yet another sound. A sound of collective stomps upon the ground, getting louder and louder with each step. A march. And upon the third horn, she could just barely fully recognize the sound, as well as it’s significance. And her worries were confirmed, as but a minute later, she could make out a large army making their way to her tower. Knights clad in all sorts of iron armor, brandishing weapons from swords and shields, to spears, to even mases. The princess could feel her heart begin to race, wondering just what they could want. Money perhaps? Maybe they’re here just for the thrill of a battle? Art they perhaps here for... her?

The princess did her best to steady her breathing, knowing she must look at this situation calmly, and vigilantly. She looked over the army, spying out any potential weak spots she could make out from her high vantage point. What she found however, had changed the course of her approach. As she scoped through the army, she saw one knight in the front, seemingly leading the rest behind him. That alone didn’t really catch her attention. What did, was the giant jackalope he was riding. There was also the man’s armor. The white plating with gold lining alone was attention grabbing, none could ignore the clear rust that covered every inch of the armor. If that wasn’t enough, the princess could make out one more thing. His shield held a rather familiar crest, that of two crescent moons. A gasp left her mouth as she comprehended just who this man was.

“The Rusted Knight!” She exclaimed, much to the confusion of her two guards, whom seemed to have spent more time leering at her beauty than noticing the army at their doorstep.

Looking away from her however, they quickly realized the situation, fear clearly emanating off them. It appears they wouldn’t have to worry however, as a large number of the guards stationed at the tower quickly left to fend off the approaching army. The two guards let out a sigh of relief, believing themselves to be safe from the upcoming carnage. The princess however was quite horrified at the display.

“What art they doing? Do they not knoweth whom they are up against? You must telleth to them to retreat or surrender! Before they all lose their lives!” She shouted at the guards.

The however brushed this off, believing their men to be of a superiors caliber. And if they were not, they’d at least by the two guards time to escape. Hearing this disgusted the princess, not believing the audacity these two portrayed. Not only ignoring an order from their princess, but also condemning their comrades to die. And yet, considering the attitude, as well as the degenerate behavior all her guards have portrayed in her time here, she shouldn’t be surprised. A guard had suddenly burst into her chambers in a state of clear panic. The two standing by the door look at him perturbed, wondering what was the alarm. Quickly trying his best to recollect as his thoughts, he stands front and center. “One of the soldiers outside has breached the tower!” He shouted, the shock of all in the room. Looking out at the continuing battle however, something had caught her eye. Or rather, something missing.

Where had the Rusted Knight gone?

The sound of a slam had rang through the room, turning the heads of all present to the double-door entrance to the chamber. Another slam against the door could be heard, nearly knocking it off it hinges. The two had attempted to put their guard up for whoever was coming, however, they didn’t expect both doors to violently fly open smashing them into the wall. The princess gasped as she watched their broken bodies slump to ground, a trail of blood leaking onto the floor. Looking back towards the door, she was nearly blown away at the sight of their trespasser. Before her stood nonother than the Rusted Knight himself. However, his trek up there had clearly been a trying one, as his chestplate had been slashed and torn apart, revealing his rather broad and muscled chest. With scratches and slight blood sprinkled about, there was no fat or softness that could be spotted from his rippled pecs, all the way down to his tight abs. Looking even lower however, she could see a light outline of what appeared to be his... manhood bulging from his pants. The stories clearly did not do him justice.

The princess could feel her bodies temperature raise at the sight, feeling the need to cool off any way she could. She undid her bolero, dropping to the ground. A soft, sensual moan left her lips as she could feel the cold air from the snow brush up against her now bare shoulders. The coldness failed to cool her off however, it only building up.

Without a second to waste, the Rusted Knight unsheathed his fabled broken sword. Now, many would immediately brush this off as a rather foolish plan. The Rusted Knight however, had built up a legend for a reason. Quickly, he flung his blade directly toward the last guard with blinding speed. The guard didn’t even know what hit him until it was already too late. The blade pierced right through his armor and pinned him right up against the wall. The force of which had nearly blown the princess away, the princess could only moan as she felt the hem of her dress be torn off in the process. She could only imagine how flushed her face must be as she took a look at her now torn dress, making her appear to be not but a harlot.

“Lady Schnow,” A deep voice penetrated through the knight’s rusted helmet. Reaching up, he began to lift his helmet up, much to the shock and anticipation of the princess. A small breath of surprise left her as she gazed upon his face. Before her was man hardened through many battles and hardships. She didn’t know his age, but could guess he was about ten years her elder. Her eyes lingered on his soft-looking, dirty-blonde hair, a few white strands strewn about. There was also his long beard, the thought to run her fingers through it briefly passing through her mind. The most enchanting thing about him however, was his eyes. A beautiful sapphire blue, as clear and as wonderous as the sky itself. Behind them, she could feel a piercing gaze looking straight through her soul.

Dropping his helmet to the ground, the knight began to make his way over to the princess. Standing before her, she is forced to acknowledge his dominating height over her, being a full head taller. “I... am John of the Ark Clan.” Said the now revealed John, taking the princess’ hands into his own as he looked down at her. “Legend of your beauty hath traveled ‘cross the sea.” He stated as he raised a hand to her. Brushing a loose strand off her face, the knight gently caresses her cheek with back of his knuckles, the princess failing to resist shuddering at the action. The heat in her neither region was becoming too much to handle. She desperately needed to sate this desire bubbling up inside of her. The princess knew succumbing to this... brute, would most surely be unbecoming of someone of her status. As well as be something her father would most certainly disown her for. But then again...

She never was particularly a daddy’s girl.

The princess took one more good long look at the man before her, her eyes once again rest on his bulge. She subconsciously bit her lower lip as she brought a finger up to her cheek, giving the knight a rather coy look. She subtly moved her finger over to his bare chest, dragging it down teasingly slow. “And legend of your... longsword, hath traveled here~” She sensually claimed, emphasizing her sentence by grabbing ahold of his “sword”. A gasp left out of the knight, not expecting the princess to so... forward. Unsure what to think at first, the knight gazes down at the princess with growing arousal, a gaze  she happily returns.

“Lady... Thy boldness” He stated, before immediately being silenced by her pressing a finger to his lips. 

“Shusheth!” She shouted. The heat was now unbearable. It must satisfied here and now. And with the growing hardness she is now feeling in her hand, she knew exactly how to do it. There was but a moment of silence between the two, neither moving, or talking. That moment of calm was almost instantly broken however, as the princess immediately leapt into the knights arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. Holding her up by her tight and supple posterior, the two quickly came together for a deep sensual kiss. Their tongues collided in a lustful clash, neither letting up or backing down both as tried to dominate the other.

As this went on, the knight subtly steps closer and closer towards the princess’ large bed. Losing patience however, he leapt them both into the air, crashing down on top the bed, the princess now underneath him. As the two continued their competitive lust-filled kiss, they began disrobing one another, stripping the other of any possible blocks from their body. While this went on however, both neglected to realize not only was the princess’ handmaiden still in the room, but was now watching as the two continued to give in to their base, carnal desires. Completely ignoring her prescience. Instead of feeling awkward however, the faunus couldn’t help but feel her own arousal building at the display. Slowly, she subconsciously reached her hand beneath her skirt, watching them finally rip off every article of clothing they had. 

The knight and princess looked down at one another as they finally separated for a breather, both breathing heavily as they gazed into one another's eyes. The princess let out a gasp as she felt a hot object rub against her naked entrance. Looking down at said object, the blush on her face got even hotter. Gazing back into John’s eyes, she felt like the two didn’t even need words to understand one another. He knew what she wanted. She knew what he wanted. And they both knew the other knew. Princess Schnow looked up at John with a sultry smile, feeling him about to claim her womanhood for himself.

“John of the Ark Clan!-”

Weiss: Wonder me with your massive knightly-!

Yang: Woah woah! Slow your roll there!

Weiss: *Looks up from her story at her team* What’s wrong?

Ruby: Weiss, you never said your story was... f-filthy.

Weiss: Uh, because it isn’t. This is a historically accurate medieval tale... with slight erotic undertones. 

Yang: Oh, there were no slight undertones in the end there.

Weiss: Well, surely you lack the ability to look underneath the surface, as expected from someone as unrefined as you.

Yang: *Quirks an eyebrow* Ok miss refine, tell me this. Why is this story about how you wanna bang Jaune?

Weiss: Excuse me?

Yang: What, I thought that much was pretty obvious.

Weiss: Clearly you thought wrong. This story is about the beautiful princess, Lady Schnow of the Atlesian Kingdom, and the her rescue by the graceful, gentle... *Blushes* skillful hands of the Rusted Knight, John of the Ark Clan. Where did you pick up that it was me and Jaune.

Yang: ... Ok, so there’s a princess?

Weiss: Yes.

Yang: With long white hair, and is called Lady Schnow?

Weiss: Uh huh.

Blake: And there is a rusted knight that has blonde hair with blue eyes?

Weiss: Right.

Ruby: And is named John?

Weiss: ... So there may be some superficial similarities.

Yang: *Rolls her eyes, deciding to give up before she gets a headache*

Blake: Why am I a handmaiden watching you two on the side?

Weiss: First of all, you think just because you both are cat faunus with long black hair, and amber eyes, and collect books must mean I based her off you? Conceited much?

Blake: I’m being conceited here?

Weiss: Second of all, it helped to add to the fiery passion built up in that scene.

Blake:  And a faunus handmaid because...?

Weiss: Historical accuracy.

Yang: Alright, I think Ruby and I had our fill for the day. *Grabs Ruby’s hood and begins dragging her out*

Weiss: But I haven’t finished yet. I was just about to get to how Lady Schnow undoes John’s pants to reveal-

Yang: Later!

Ruby: B-but I wanna-!

(Slam!)

Weiss: *Sighs in defeat and prepares to pack away her story. Only to see Blake having not moved from her seat*

Weiss: Oh, you’re still here?

Blake: Yeah. I actually want to hear where this goes. *Casually settles in her seat* Continue.

Weiss: *Smiles* Glad to see someone in this team has taste. *Clears her throat as she resumes, only just scratching the surface of her depraved tale*

[itsmeeeeegelalay]

House of Pomegranate

Here it is, take it now-

Now if you want a bit of context, keep reading then-

I am still deciding which AU this is. An outright badass noble from the beginning AU, after the dungeons and trying fuck over Le'gard after he ascended AU, or repeated lives AU but each lifetime is different flavor of trauma. Or maybe just make this into a shitpost AU-

Also, if you're wondering why her frame looks so small is because in this lifetime, she has let go of herself (i.e. she didn't become a knight, and suffered night terrors which often lead her to lose a lot of her appetite, got locked up in her room for months no end by her parents to avoid her shaming them, and gave up a lot of things that once brought her so much comfort and joy like spars, training, and horseback riding) and developed body image issues. She's gonna work on that a little later once she finally breaks away again from her family after buying her title as a baroness in a rural area.

As for the reasoning behind her fashion, Canon D'arce doesn't have much of an identity and her dominant soul would be left dormant. Or at least, she thinks she is dominating through Le'gard's ambitions. I mean, her ascended form left her bald and hairless all over. So I wanted to give her a strong sense of identity or at least she's experimenting with it; Like changing her hairstyle daily and cutting it short during the summer. She would also wear dresses but she wears masculine clothes as well. She even wears one under her dresses.

She would also fan flames of rumors so people wouldn't figure out who she really was until they met her. Some rumors call her vain and narcissistic (because of her styles changing almost daily and the fact she set a lot of trends), another calls her cold and cruel (she did take over territories), some call her an aggressive businesswoman (she bought "useless" land from the original owner then found out its true value and tried to buy it back from her but she said no), and sometimes, she would get positive rumors such as "As if the Sun was human" due to how often her smiles are so bright- It's also the smiles she makes if she kills people oop-

As for her religion, she stopped worshipping god/s-

After my word vomit, enjoy more art below-

Nth Life D'arce wishing she could tell off her past self off for wanting and even downright begging for a morsel of attention from Le'gard-

IDK how this would happen but I like the idea where Francois decided that she's the daughter he didn't know he wanted-

Eeerrrrrr- I wish I rendered this too but uuuhhh-

[zealfruity]

I gotta know more about Jedi Cutup

How does he handle his antics totally not getting under Quinlan's skin?

On a scale of 1-10, how hard does their shitposting break that scale?

Is he any good with his saber? What's his favorite form of the seven? Does Quinlan teach him any -non- Jedi forms?~

How resonant in the Force does he become/what are favored "powers"?

I’m so happy you asked me this. Mostly because i love Cutup but also because I didn’t really think beyond that? So here’s what I’ve cooked up for you:

1. He keeps upping the antics. If Quinlan is unphased or perfectly in tune with whatever's Cutup's cooking up (which is most of the time that guy gets up to so much bs)? Cutup gets more ambitious. At some point he does realise that it's not going to work, but it takes a lot of trying and failing. The only time he ever threw Quinlan off his stride was the first time Quinlan heard about him from Obi-Wan, and then maybe after Cutup catches onto a Force trick very quickly Vos didn’t expect it. Afterwards Cutup didn't have much luck, which is annoying when part of your whole Thing is that you imbalance and inconvenience authority 24/7.

2. I'm not really sure what you mean here, my reading comprehension can be iffy. The Vos and Cutup duo get into a lot of shenanigans, they're a good apprenticeship match. Shit gets done but the way it gets done always ends up being…. Out of the box. So I guess 9/10, knowing eachother def raised their individual Hijinks Magnets’ strenghts.

3. He's alright with it, just not used to close range stuff. He was trained as a grenadier, which involves a lot of aiming+throwing explosives far away and then shooting deadly blaster fire at ennemies. He's good at aiming blaster bolts when deflecting them, and he's not a very traditional fighter so that definetely helps him out. Form V is the one he's best at and likes the most, and when learning with the practice saber, it was definetely the one he had to use the most if ever he needed to (still being at war on the frontlines and all). he has the physical capabilities energy to use Form IV (he was always a little bit of a showoff, he's the kid who does sick flips on the trampoline and then probs hurts himself doing a backflip wrong). It saps him of his force strenght quickly though and he hasn't quite mastered the spatial awareness it needs, so he has to be careful.

4. Cutup's gotten good at some niche hand-to-hand techniques that Quinlan knows. He learns how to use a blaster/saber way of fighting where the saber is mostly used for defence and some close combat, and the blaster used for offence and long range. Quinlan helps him merge what he’s been taught his whole life being a trooper and the new things he’s learning from the Jedi in peacetime.

5. He's not the strongest Jedi in the room, he's pretty average and the years of uncontiously supressing something like that for self preservation reasons (kamino + war = bad mixture for an untrained force sensitive, also some story and lore stuff that I don't feel like getting into right now). He's good at the whole "something is about to happen" feeling and can manage to get decently specific with it. he's learned how to concentrate his usage of the Force in one big, short burst that can have pretty cool results (but tire him out emmediately afterwards, any further Force usage is difficult and can leave some damage to him). It's the longer lasting, consistent usage (used for say, deep meditation, holding smth up for longer than 30 seconds, and sensing larger amounts of people) that he has a lot of trouble with. Gets really good at timing when to enhance his strenght and speed with the Force in short moments, but again: keeping it consistent during a fight is not his strong suit.

Hope this helped :)) As always, my ask box is open ✨

I like how little guy he looks here.

[ramayantika]

Random free gyan for chotus here

I took time off from social media, news, everything for a while. I logged out of my main insta page. I used the internet only to watch lectures, dance and writing. I have come back but I no longer login to tumblr like I used to nor do I use my other accounts for Instagram that much. My main account is still logged out since 27th August. Hence, here are some few things I discovered/realized

1. Navigating through loneliness, FOMO, and restlessness about your work/future/friends etc

I took a drop year in 2022, gave entrance exams till July and I have now secured a college. All this while I barely talked to my school friends who themselves were busy in their courses and college activities. So it does feel sad and a little depressing seeing everyone do other stuff while you are here in a small room studying the same 11th 12th books.

Then I made a new insta account once again after my exam dates neared so I would reconnect with everyone again. Does it happen so easily? Not at all. I was still alone. I would like reels, stories and posts but apart from that nothing except a few calls from friends.

That did give me a desperation to share everything about myself. No one to talk to, no friend nearby and you have so much to talk. I remember staying late up and writing god knows what on my closed stories, ranting about my crying episodes every damn thing. Then after getting a college I was still feeling lost, thinking what to do ahead regarding my career plans. I would then chat with whoever I found from school groups or online friends groupchats late at night but a lot of it was just shallow interaction because I wanted to pass time and not utilize time. We all write about the strange cringe feeling we get after oversharing about ourselves, put up memes for it, but do we ever work on it.

Yes, you can shitpost on tumblr, reblog those relatable posts but you have to put in work to control yourself. And after a while I was fed up. I knew I needed to change it. I needed to put a line over myself which made me disable and log out social media accounts. I came back home after completing my admission related work at my college, finally deciding to find my own worth, fix my restless hopeless personality for wanting to share everything on the first online app I get. This doesn't mean that you stop posting on tumblr. I literally wrote in all caps about savitha Sastry, dance stuff, college, yes. But if you are someone who is alone preparing for exams, away from friends, do not give in to that strong desperate urge to put up everything for everyone to read; to share every bit of it to the new person you made friends online.

I have had my own share of FOMO. Not knowing what I am doing with myself while seeing others doing internships, attending competitions, fests and trips while I sit here scrolling right to left. We are all online most of the time, but it is really necessary to not attach your sense of worth to social media.

Some of you are younger to me, still in school, and maybe you all aren't at that stage now, you all can be tomorrow for preparing for entrances or other stuff that will demand you to be away from social events for a while, to have a rigorous academic schedules. It's sad, but that's how it is. Maybe some change can be brought later for young minds to still have a healthy routine that combines studies as well as other activities.

If you all ever get this dreadful feeling wondering where you are, what are you doing, is it all even worth it. I need you all to take a deep breath. Yes, it is worth it. Yes, you are at the right place, and yes you are learning at this age so you are doing good. It's okay. Your attempts, your hardwork will always get you 'success.' failure is a path to success, and all that disappointment, sadness etc will exist. You will have endless doubts over yourself but please remember that all of it was worthy. You will definitely see in some later period that whatever you underwent was all worth it.

But what about my lost time, lost friends didi?

You know little ones, friends change with age. Some stay intact for a long time while some move away and sometimes you grow out of it. Sometimes you will also reconnect with those friends from class with whom you barely had any conversation but later you see them talking with you and you realize that they are fun too.

And about lost time... I did this mistake too. You all never lose time. You aren't ahead in the race nor are you behind. You are where you have to be. You will get your desired friends, colleges and life. But to reach there, that 'lost' time teaches you patience. And to learn patience, one needs to learn how to wait through hopeless situations and endless moments of despair where you want to give up. But that's the catch, if you give up, you don't learn it anymore.

This is why for every thing that sometimes goes wrong in your life at this delicate stage where you all are growing up, I want you all to be kind to yourself. Take a deep breath, and indulge yourself in your favourite activity or close your eyes and actually meditate or just listen to music depending on your mood. Yes, the same advice everyone gives, but it works. You all, me, everyone needs discipline bacha. Wherever you see yourself, be it career, financial stuff or relationships, one needs to learn discipline and patience. You need to learn how to control the mind because it's going to be very easy to fall into a mindless scrolling session, or giving in to other distracting temptations.

The mind loves chaos. It easily jumps to doubtful thoughts. In the end, from this age you need to learn to control the mind and take steps to be your best self, best adult figure for your younger self to look upto. Jin posts ko reblog karte ho ki I want to be the woman, my 10 year self would look upto etc uske liye effort time sab lagana padega.

Meine bhi voh memes pinterest posts like reblog ki hai that were about existential crisis, the absolute dread of not doing anything in life and other stuff that are actually problematic in the long run for the mind. Kahin na kahin tum jab inko like reblog karte ho they do retain inside your head and tum vaise hi mind ko train karte ho.

Aaj jee neet cuet ke liye akele sabse durr rehna hai, kal badme masters ke liye wait karna padega ek saal ya phir baki exams. Uske liye vapas doston se durr, ek room mein padhai, phone kamm, shaadiyan trips band hoti rahegi. We all need to take life in a simple and easy way too. And sometimes these problems have solutions that you all know deep inside but choose to procrastinate or not take a step towards it.

In the end all of you chotus, just understand one thing ki life badi hai. Aaj yeh nahi hai kuch mahine baad sab milega vapas. Phir kuch pal baad tumhe vapas se akele rehna padega yeh phase sabka hota rehta hai. Rona aarha hai ro lo, akelapan lagega but iske liye jaisa meine pehle kaha tumhe hi khudko kehna hoga ki mujhe apne life mein abhi bahut kuch karna hai yeh sab usi laksh tak le jayegi. I know you all are wonderful, and capable of so many things. You all need to wait for a while, and work hard. Tumhare friends sab tumhe badme milenge humesha aisa boring akela phase zindagi bhar nahi rehta aur nahi hai humesha Bunny from yjhd types happening hogi.

Jab yeh sab permanent nahi hai toh bas mann ko samjhao ki apne kaam pe dhyan do. Tumblr pe bhadas nikaldi kabhi ek baar kisiko overshare kar diya theek hai chalta hai par isse apni personality mein pura entwine nahi kar daalo.

You all are made for so much for. There's so much in life that you all will slowly experience, good and bad everything. You all are growing up and I wish you all the best for it.