#this quote drive me straight up bananas when i first read i Needed to make fanart of it like absolutely it still drives me to insanity

[bluetheking]

I wanted you to use me, you malign, double-crossing, corpse-obsessed bag of bones, you broken, used-up shithead! I wanted you to live and not die, you imaginary-girlfriend-having asshole! Fuck one flesh, one end, Harrow. I already gave my flesh to you, and I already gave you my end. I gave you my sword. I gave you myself. I did it while knowing I’d do it all again, without hesitation, because all I ever wanted you to do was eat me.

[macybeckham7]

Journalist- James Maddison

‘How am I supposed to get that information before it hits the media with it being a done deal?’ YN questioned her boss who was giving her a mammoth task which just wasn't reachable.

He looks at her over his glasses as he puffs away on his e-cig. ‘You are friends with the player aren't you? Use your female wit and use your assets to persuade’ he grins. 

She frowns. ‘You want me to fuck information out of him?’ 

He nods. ‘That's exactly what I want you to do. Lay back and think of the newspaper’ he smiles. 

He standing up and grabbing her things and placing it into her arms and pushing her out the door as he said tells her he cannot wait to read the finished article. 

.... 

And that is why YN finds hers in a bar in Leicester trying to get herself a little drunk before James can come and save her. She leaned over the bar and ruffled her hair and tried to look her best kind of drunk, she peered over her shoulder as she saw James walking in. She couldn't back down now. And she just hoped that she will get a promotion for doing this. 

‘YN, there you are’ he says as he puts his hands on her back. 

She cheered up and wrapped her arms around him as she gushes over him. She really hoped that this would work because if she would need to be getting a new set of friends. 

‘What you doing in Leciester? And why are you drinking alone?’ he looks at her funny. 

She giggles as she pulls a funny face at him. 

‘I dumbed the idiot, he cheated on me, can you believe that?’ she slurred as she downed another vodka shot which made him laugh as he saw her face crumble. 

He shakes his head. ‘Idiot’ he mutters. 

The two stare into each others eyes for she is looking away, she needed to play this right and was convinced they’d get this out of him. She tried to keep up her drunken act up as he wrapped his arms around her and got her outside. He got her into the car and strapped her in and started to drive home, with quick stop off at McDonald’s and a quick stop with Yn announcing she was going to puke, but nothing came of it. 

‘Ok that is disgusting’ he grimaces as he watches as she puts her fries into her banana milkshake and eats it. 

‘Your face is disgusting’ she sasses pulling a face. 

He giggles as he watches her. ‘Ahh primary school comebacks, I have truly missed you’ 

‘You’ll be closer to me again soon though right?’ she says casually as she looks at her burger. 

‘Why?’ he questions as he quietly prays she doesn't dip that into the milkshake too. 

She leans closer to him. ‘Because you are hot property and you are wanted by United’ she whispers as she bites her lip. 

He keeps a straight face, as she tries to read anything she could which would read that the move is on. 

‘Come on tell me! Tell me if I need to buy next seasons jersey’ she smiles.

‘Will you quote me? Cause I didn't realise you were working right now’ he giggles. 

You scoff. ‘I’m drunkkk I wont remember a word you say to me’ 

He leans in which she instantly does thinking he would tell her something massive but instead he tells her he is going upstairs to make up the guest bedroom, before pecking her forehead. 

She watches as he walks away and then huffs as she wasn't getting anywhere, her eyes find his two mobiles, she drops her burger she wasn't enjoying and picks up the two phones, one had a Diego as the lockscreen and the other had an Apple standard screen. She chose that one to be his business phone and tried to get into his head what the password would be, and instantly got the code as Diego’s birthday. She starts to open his emails, she looks up to check he was about, she starts biting her nails as she tries to find any email from his agent with the subject as Manchester United but nothing. She grabs his normal phone and starts looking for anything, anything from the guys but nada. 

She managed to lock them and place them back where she found when James came walking back in, she turned on her drunkenness again and smiled at him. 

‘You’ d look good in red’ she smiles goofily. 

He raised his brows at her not understanding what that has to do with it.

‘With the little United badge here’ she beams as she ran her finger over his chest. She noticed he rolled his eyes at her. ‘Oh come on James, you grew up loving Beckham and falling in love with football, if they came knocking wouldn't you jump at the chance?’ she questions. 

He leaned in with a small smirk on his face. ‘Do you ever change the record?’ 

‘I’m just saying if my club came calling and was offering me money, I'd be telling everyone around me’ she mutters, trying to see if he was giving anything away.

He giggles. ‘ I could get fined’ 

She scoffs. ‘You’d only get fined if you told me to bet on it’ she smiles. 

She decided to take a different route realising that this one that she was currently on wasn't working at all. She gently caressed his cheek as she looked deeply into his light blue eyes, she gave him a small smirk as she whispered how sexy he was before kissing him gently, he kissed back and soon enough they were in a deep make out session. He started to undress her and leave kisses all over her body. That was when she could hear her boss in her ear and she gently pushed him away. 

‘I’m sorry I cant do this..I like you and I cant have our first time be with me trying to get something out of you..’ she says suddenly fully sober which confuses James. 

‘What?’ he questions as he watches as she gets herself dressed. 

She tells him everything which leaves him mad and confused as he practically throws her out of his house. 

…..

‘Ah my favourite writer, what have you got to report back to me?’ he asked as he puffed on his e-cig as he whipped off his glasses. 

‘Well, I don't think he is moving to Manchester, he called me and I quote a money whore who would do anything for a good story and he hopes you and this whole business to wrote in hell and we can print that’ she mutters.

He started to get all political as he told her that he held the back pages for this story and how he believed she had something in her to be a good reporter, and questioned if he used her assets correctly as YN just sat there heartbroken that she actually decided to go along with this and now has lost someone she did care about. 

[5hfanfiction]

Malibu Love: Chapter 47

(three more chapters until the epilogue)

“Mom!”

Lauren lets out a tired sigh.

“What do you want now?” she calls back

“Where’s mommy?”

The green eyed girl looks up from her book into her best friend’s eyes.

“You’re annoying Mani.”

“So I’ve heard. Where’s Mila?” Normani questions again

“She went to her parents’ house. Sofi said she got a mail.”

“Lauren, why didn’t she change her address yet? I mean, she’s paying the rent, well part of it.”

Lauren shrugs. “Something about this being your and mine place.”

Normani bits her lip nervously and sits on the couch next to Lauren. “What if it becomes your place?”

“What do you mean?” The green eyed girl furrows her brows.

“Aaron asked me to move in with him, like for New Year’s Eve we were talking and he asked me–”

“What did you say?”

“That I need some time to think about it. It’s been a week and although he didn’t pressure me into giving him an answer I know he wants to know.”

“Well, do you want to?” Lauren questions

“I kind of do, I really like him Lo. I know we haven’t been together but,” Normani lets out a sigh “I think I’m falling for him, hard.”

“Then go for it nugget.” Lauren offers her a smile “He obviously makes you happy Mani and this is by far your longest relationship. I’ve known him for years now and he’s been nothing but a gentleman to everyone, especially the girls he dated.”

“Did he date a lot of girls?”

“Not really, he’s a few years older than me though. I remember that he had his high school sweetheart but she moved away right after graduation an they broke up. After that I think he dated Ally’s cousin and that’s the only thing I know. He was a popular guy at school, but a nice guy.”

Normani smiled at the thought of her boyfriend as she listened to Lauren talking. 

“Okay, I’ll meet him tonight and tell him I decided.”

The door bell rang in and Lauren looked at clock. “It’s not Camz.”

“It could be Dinah.” Normani mumbled and got up to open the door

A few moments later she walked into the living room and threw a package right next to Lauren.

“What’s this?”

“A package for Miss Jauregui. Obviously.” Normani scoffed

“Yeah but–”

“Girl, just open it.”

Lauren shrugged and opened the cardboard to find a note and a what she assumed to be a book wrapped in a wrapping paper. with hearts on it.

“Who is it from?”

“I don’t know Mani, let me read.”

“Oooh, read it out loud.”

So, Lauren did.

She cleared her throat and unfolded the note.

“Dear Lauren,

I hope that you’re the person I met during summer. The beautiful young lady with emerald eyes full of love for the petite brown eyed girl next to you. Love can be a tricky thing but I hope it’s treating you right. Wherever you are in your life right now, I hope she’s next to you, holding you down on the ground and reminding you why life’s worth living, although I am pretty sure that with her by your side, you don’t need any other reason for happiness. The moment I saw you, you reminded me what real love is and brought a glimpse of hope that not everything nowadays is based on lust. The way you looked into each other left me breathless. I wanna thank you, both of you for being a part of my book, a part of my journey. May the love always be with you and guide you through tough times. Keep onto her and don’t let go.

It was lovely meeting you,

Yours truly, Evangeline Nicholas.”

“Who’s Evangeline Nicholas?” Normani questions

A smile crept onto Lauren’s face. “I think I know who she is.”

“Well, I don’t.”

Lauren chuckled and unwrapped the paper to reveal a book by none other than Evangeline Nicholas. 

“Close your eyes and listen to my heart.” Lauren read the title

She opened the first book to find an authors note to readers, Evangeline saying she hopes people will enjoy her book and fall in love with it as much as she fell in love with people who are in it. The Cuban girl skimmed through the pages of couples being in love, a short text and two pictures for every couple. And then, at the page 67, she found a picture of herself and her girlfriend.

“Is that you and Camila?” Normani leaned over to take a closer look at the picture

“Yes it is.” Lauren beamed

“What does it say?”

“It was a hot summer day and my friend and I decided to visit Spanish Village Art Center, which is where I met this lovely girls. The love in their eyes was so obvious and it warmed my heart to see them being so in love. The love so strong as the one they feel for each other is so rare and I wish to all of you that you find someone who will love you as much as they love each other.” Lauren reads the text that’s written under the first picture

“That’s so cute. What’s the quote on the other page?”

“My heart beats for her, Camila says about Lauren."  Lauren reads out loud 

"How the fuck does she know about your sickeningly cute quote?" 

"It’s what Camila told her when the woman told us to take care of each other.”

“When did that even happen, where is the village? I am so lost Lo." 

"Do you remember when Camila and I went on a date back in California? Two days date. We went to this amazing place and fell in love with it. Camila asked some woman to take a picture of us, although we already had so many.” Lauren lets out a soft laugh “She asked if she can take a picture of us for her photography book. I guess this is it.”

“You look so cute.”

“We do, don’t we?” Camila’s voice asks and both girls turn around to see her

“Hey love.” Lauren smiles at the brown eyed girl

“I’m guessing you got the book too?”

“I did. And a note.”

“Mhm, me too." 

Camila takes off her shoes and walks into the living room, immediately taking a seat on the couch and cuddling up to her pregnant girlfriend.

"You look beautiful.” The Cuban- Mexican girl says and pecks Lauren’s cheek lovingly 

“I got a note.” Lauren ignores Camila’s comment and her own blushing cheeks

“So did I. Such a lovely woman.”

“Talking about lovely people, I’m moving in with Aaron.” Normani announced to Camila

“Wait, what?”

“Look, you and Lauren, you need your own place. Soon it’s gonna be the four of you and you need a room for the twins anyway.”

“We’ll miss you.” Camila says and moves over to cuddle up to Normani

Considering they lived together, they actually became a very good friends and both of them were thankful that, and so was the certain green eyed girl. It wasn’t a secret that her high school friends started disliking Camila at one point or another, Lucy being the only exception, and Lauren was glad that this time around, her girlfriend and her best friend got along very well. To the point where Lauren actually felt left out at times.

Within a week Normani managed to move out completely and although Lauren and Camila were thankful for a bit more of privacy, it felt weird without Normani, as if something is missing.

When Thursday rolled around, Camila couldn’t wait to go back to sleep. She honestly hated Thursdays. She had classed from nine in the morning until almost four in the afternoon, and then she’d go straight to work and work from five until midnight. And of fucking course her professor decided to give her tons of homework for tomorrow which made her stay up until three in the morning. 

It felt like she just closed her eyes when she felt something– someone shaking her.

“What the–?” She mumbled as she rubbed her eyes

“We’re out of ice cream.” Lauren announces

“Huh?”

“I want ice cream Camz.”

“Lo, please go back to sleep. What time even is it?”

“Just a bit after six. I want ice cream Camz.” The green eyed girl repeated herself

“Of fucking course you do.” Camila mumbled and got up

She slipped on a pair of sweatpants and an oversized hoodie and hopped into her shoes.

“Anything else my princess?”

“No.”

“Okay,” Camila let out a sigh “flavor?”

“Hm, banana split. Oh, and cheesecake brownie.”

Ten minutes into Camila’s drive she heard her phone buzzing.

From Lauren: chocolate peanut buttery swirl.

A minute later followed by another text.

From Lauren: or the coffee one.

Camila rolls her eyes as she exits the car and walks into the grocery store. As of 2013 they counted that a population of Miami is approximately 418 000 people. Out of them all, Camila has a luck of running into none other than Mark James Collins. The one and only.

At first he doesn’t notice her and she’s just about to take a beeline towards the check out when her phone buzzes one more time.

Of course Lauren also wants Pringles with Sour Cream and Onion. Of course she does.

So, with a basket full of ice cream, potato chips, gummy bears, Skittles, M&M’s , Smarties and a box of Ferrero Rocher, because fuck knows what will Lauren’s next text say.

“Funny running into you.” A voice from behind says and Camila closes her eyes for a moment

She didn’t really talk with Mark since the incident at Normani’s gym and she didn’t feel like talking to him now either.

“Mark.” She replied, her tone cold and bitter

He looked into her basket and took a notice of all the candies.

“Got dumped again?” Mark smirked

“Oh no, my girlfriend is having pregnancy cravings so she sent me to buy her some stuff. Oh well, I have to go, the sooner I get back, the bigger chances I have of being there for her sexual cravings too. She has a lot of those nowadays.”

And with that, Camila turned around on her heels and made her way towards the exit.

As soon as she entered the car her phone ranged again and without even looking at he screen she picked up the call.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Dinah.”

“Oh god, what did she do now?” Camila asked as she fumbled with her keys

“No, it’s me, Dinah.”

“Ohh,” Camila nodded her head “what did you do now?”

“What the fuck Mila? Why do you-”

“Dinah it’s almost fucking seven in the morning, you obviously called with a reason.”

“Yeah, okay so, can you pick me up? I went out on a date with this girl and we ended up at her place but it turns out she has a boyfriend and I ain’t a homewrecker like you, that’s a joke in case you didn’t realize.”

“Lauren sent me to the store–”

“Lauren’s asleep. I texted her a few times before calling you, but she didn’t pick up.”

Camila rubbed her temples and let out a loud groan.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Again?”

“Wait, where are you?”

“At Walmart. Lauren had cravings and sent me to the store to buy some Ben & Jerry’s for her. So, she fell asleep.”

“Probably. Will you pick me up?”

“Just text me the fucking address, I’m on my way.”

A few moments later her phone buzzes, signaling she got a text from Dinah.

It takes her twenty minutes to pick up Dinah and another twenty to drop her off and then half an hour more until she gets to the apartment she shares with Lauren.

Lauren’s fast asleep in their bed and Camila lets out a sigh before walking into the kitchen to put the ice cream in the freezer.

It’s fifteen minutes until eight which means she has forty-five more minutes until her alarm goes off, so she does the only logical thing to do. She cuddles up close to her girlfriend and closed her eyes.

Camila isn’t the only person Lauren wakes up at night. Mostly she is, but the next time it’s not.

It was just a little bit after three hours on Monday morning when Nick’s phone goes off.

At first the man barely had any intentions of picking it up because what the fuck, who normal calls you in the middle of the night. However, after a moment he realized to whom the phone ring belongs to and for a moment his heart skipped beating.

“Lauren? Is everything okay?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Is something wrong?”

“Not really. I’ve been thinking…”

“About?”

“We need to decides on their names.”

Nick closed his eyes in frustration, he had an important meeting in the morning and she woke him up to talk about names for their kids?

“I’m listening…”

“I don’t know yet. Do you have any special wish?”

“I kind of do.” Nick bit his lower lip anxiously

“Which one?”

“Do you remember my childhood best friend? I told you about him?”

“The one…” Lauren trailed off

“Yeah, the one who died because of me.”

“He didn’t die because of you. He died because a drunk driver didn’t stop at the red light Nick. It’s not your fault.”

“But he tried to save me, and it costed him his own life.”

“And it’s still not your fault.”

“Got any middle name that fits it?”

“Rafael.” Lauren said in her Cuban accent

“Alexander Rafael.” Nick smiled into the phone

“Do you think it’d be cheesy if we give them the same name?”

“Alexandra Rafaela?”

“Not the whole name idiot. Only the first name. Not Alexandra though. Alexandria.”

“Like the city in Egypt?”

“Yeah.”

“Any specific reason?” Nick asked although he had a bit of an idea that it had something to do with that show Lauren loved to watch and a certain green eyed Australian girl

“Nope. Not really.” Lauren replied and Nick decided to just go with it 

“Okay, middle name?”

“Isabella.”

“Alexandria Isabella, okay that sounds nice.”

“It does, doesn’t it?”

“I like how you kind of kept your Latina origins in their names.”

“Gotta represent my hommies.”

“Oh my god, don’t ever say that around our children.”

Lauren smiled at his words because although they broke up, he still cared about her and she knew she’s gonna be a great dad.

“Excuse me but Alexander Rafael and Alexandria Isabella Collins will be lucky if they end up being cool like me and not as lame as you.”

“Wait, hold up. Are they gonna have my last name?”

“Well obviously. You are their father.”

“I just thought you’d give them Jauregui.”

“As if, and one day I get married and change my last name and they keep this one? And like they have one last name, their mom has another one and dad the third one?”

“Good point.”

“Hey Nick?”

“Yes Lo?”

“I’m sorry for waking you up, go back to sleep.”

“It’s okay Lauren, call whenever. Its always nice to see how you’re doing.”

“Good night Nick.”

“Good night Lauren. Night babies. I love you guys.” Nick said before hanging up, not realizing Lauren is a crying mess by now

Two days later Nick gets a phone call from Lauren, again.

“What is it now?”

“That’s a rude way to greet someone.”

Nick lets out a laugh. “I’m sorry Lo, how are you?”

“Tired. Heavy. Bored.”

“Mhm, where’s Camila?”

“At work.”

“Mani?”

“With Aaron.”

“What about your siblings?”

“They are all busy.” Lauren huffs “Everyone is too busy to spend time with me.”

“Laur, people can’t always be available. You know that.”

“But I’m bored.”

“Read a book.”

“I’ve read every book Camila and I own Nick. All of them. ”

“Then watch a movie, there’s plenty of them on Netflix.”

“I don’t want to watch a movie, I wanna talk to someone.”

“Lauren please–”

“It’s your fault I’m bored.”

“What? How?”

“If you just used the damn condom, I wouldn’t be knocked up-”

“Oh my gosh.” Nick lets out a groan before laughing “Are you serious?”

“Totally.”

“Hey, what about Ally?”

“What about her?”

“Is she at work? You can visit her at work–”

“Oh yes, I could do that, thanks Nick, bye.”

Nick laughs to herself as he puts the phone away. Lauren truly is something else. Kudos to Camila for dealing with pregnant Lauren.

It’s just a few hours later when Lauren comes back from visiting Ally at work(and eating so many cupcakes) that she finds two pairs of Converse near the door.

“Camz?!” She calls out

“She’s in the guest room.” Sofi replies as she walks out of the kitchen

“That’s my ice-cream.” Lauren points out

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. So, what are you two doing?”

“We did something. Well, she did. I was just there.”

“Oh god, what did she do?”

Sofi lets out a loud laugh. 

“You’ll see.”

Lauren nods and takes off her own shoes before waling into the guest room. Nothing’s much different.

“What are you doing in the guest room?”

“Well, um… I did something today.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“And well… Remember what we talked about on Lucy’s party?”

“I wasn’t the one who was drunk, so I do, yes.”

“And you said we can’t have kittens because Mani is allergic and Mani moved out and Sofi and I were driving by the shelter today and-”

“You got a us a cat?”

“It’s a kitten Lauren.” Camila corrects her

“A kitten, okay, where is it?”

Camila lifts up the cover to show the tiny kitten that’s situated on her lap.

“I called him Cottonball.” Camila adds shyly

“What am I gonna do with you?” Lauren chuckles as she walks over to give Camila a peck on the lips before taking Cottonball into her hands

“He’s so tiny.”

“Mhm. Are you mad?”

“Because you got us a kitten?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, not mad, but next time talk to me about things like that before you do it.”

“I did!” Camila tries to protest

“When you’re sober I mean.”

Camila huffs and follows Lauren out of the guest room and into the living room.

“But you like him.”

“I do. He’s such a cutie.”

“Unlike Camila.” Sofi mumbles

“Rude.” Camila crosses her arms across her chest

“Deal with it.” Sofi sticks out her tongue

“So, how’s the situation at home?”

“Same old. Dad’s still trying to bring Jackson home, although he knows neither Camila nor I want him near us. Mom’s still not doing a thing about it.”

“You know you’re welcome to stay here whenever it gets too much, right?” Camila offers

“Yeah, can I actually stay tonight? There’s no school tomorrow and–”

“Of course. We can gang up on Camila.”

“Wow, lovely.” Camila huffs

“Talking bout lovely, get your lovely ass up and make us some dinner babe.”

Camila looks at Lauren and raises her eyebrow.

“Excuse me?”

“Please?” Lauren looks at her with her best puppy eyes

“Fine, fine. What do you want?”

“Whipped.” Sofi whispers and Lauren laughs

“You have no idea.” Camila replies before kissing Lauren and walking into the kitchen

“How about pasta?” Lauren yells 

“Oh look, a normal idea that doesn’t include ice-cream or pickles.”

“You’ll be pregnant too one day my love, we’ll see how you’ll react.”

“I will torture you so hard Jauregui.”

“Looking forward to it.” Lauren smiled

“I’m glad you two are back together.” Sofi says after a few moments of silence

Lauren looks up from Cottonball and smiles at the younger Cabello.

“Me too bug, me too.”

[arcadeidea]

Death Race [1976]

(Content warning: Vehicular homicide.)

Cliche when it comes to the game is to sensibly chuckle at the quaint moral outrage that made it infamous: all this over some crudely-drawn stick figures! This condescending ahistorical reaction doesn't just sell short humanity's ability to read abstraction and process media, and thus really the medium of video games as a whole, even the ones with Good Graphics, but Death Race in particular. Death Race is ooky-spooky, a power that I think has only been accentuated with time as its graphics age and it gets removed from the hustle and bustle of an arcade. It feels downright haunted. Something is wrong, not with its morality so much as it feels jarringly like it shouldn't exist in playable form. It should be an urban legend like Polybius, or a creepypasta like sonic.exe, or a plot point in a horror movie like the cursed TV broadcast in Halloween III [1982].

The sound design is perhaps the most vital part of evoking this atmosphere. There's a constant low hum straight out of Eraserhead [1977], which clashes with the mid-range overtones provided by the car engine's revving when you move. The high end is filled out with the piercing cry of distress that follows every thud as you ram into people, littering the playing field with the cross-marked graves of innocence and persecution. These pedestrians are absolutely defenseless against the grill of your automobile, and they scramble around frantically changing directions at random, so terrified out of clear thinking are they. This time, it's not the game world that is hostile: it's YOU. You're the villain, animate raw malice in car form, the Heavy Metal cabinet depicting the driver character as nothing shy of the gleeful Angel of Death that you will become for the low price of a quarter and your eternal soul. It's Hatred [2015] [1976], stripped of all pretension. There's not a win state, only a score and a time limit. It's engrossing and addictive and emotionally-involving and and even cathartic. There's a fanmade port out I recommend, keep in mind though that it changes the graphics a bit, such as replacing the stick figure sprites with something that looks more like gremlins, and I'm not sure if the original had its wraparound canvas or not.

It's known that Death Race is a quick-and-dirty reskin of Exidy's earlier Demolition Derby game in the face of business dealings gone awry, but they could have made it a game about, I don't know, garbage pick-up or animal control or something. Completely abstract blocks. It would have been just as much fun, the tank-control game mechanics here are tight but operating them is suitably challenging enough to engage, and every run is fresh. Instead, they put together a horror game where you are a spree killer. Bold! They backpedalled from this precipice of tastelessness, with the concept that the pedestrians you ruthlessly mow down aren't human beings, but they're gremlins, and you are the literal (not metaphorical) Grim Reaper, helpfully sending them back home. Oh, how nice! How completely vacated of any punch at all. It's a paper-thin veil, basically a condescending lie, that asks us to believe ass-covering newspaper quotes and one word on the cabinet over what is plainly obvious to everyone who looks at the game. (The concept of the gremlin, this archetypical post-hoc justification of virtual murder, could come in handy for us later down the line, say, in most any video game with aliens or demons or Nazis.) Before the controversy, Exidy even took out ads that trumpeted precisely how devoid it was of context: "Death Race 98 is what the player wants it to be: mobsters in the 30's, commandos in the 40's, dragsters in the 50's, hells angels in the 60's, street racers in the 70's."

The half-hearted feints at narrative recontextualization are completely dominated, not even by the work itself, but by the then-very-well-known grindhouse film Death Race 2000 [1975], on which it was transparently modeled (continuing the trend of games looking up to movies.) Death Race 2000 was not a horror experience, but an exploitation film, squarely focused on delivering slapstick carnage and bare skin, which was very common in the 1970s USA. It didn't flinch from its premise, where the state gamifies wanton murder, especially those it deems undesirable, like the elderly or any women, who are worth more points for killing. Critics and fans alike could clearly see such a state of affairs as depicted in the film was a satirical and comedic extension of everyday evaluations of the value of human lives. People in the film more or less up and say that the vaunted "American tradition" is but a churning engine of death and automobile worship. The controversy was over if the social commentary was but a feint, an excuse for the immoral spectacle that perhaps was inexcusable; if it was too high-minded or under-emphasized and ended up going over the heads of the literal elementary schoolers sneaking into the R-rated movie, which was very common in the 1970s USA. This familiar line of suspicion (across eras and political lines) demands satire be broad, easily-distinguished, and single-dimensionally didactic enough for a 9-year-old to grasp, even if (in a given particular instance) underestimated children are not around nor invoked. It doesn’t sound much like satire to me — it sounds more like uncut paranoia about irony, ambiguity, open questions, and interpretation as the refuge of evil.

It's hard to argue that Death Race [1976] was intended as a deft satire, but it's almost inarguable that it was meant as provocative, transgressive, and tongue-in-cheek, which for most purposes is the same thing. Keep in mind how it fits in with its arcade brethren as much as it sticks out. Last time we were in the arcade, Atari was trying out the idea that video games could be sexy, but skipping ahead to 1976, familiar notions have set in: Video games are for children. Simultaneously though, it's not as though Death Race was the first violent video game, not by a long shot — video games in the arcade circa 76 are already largely violent-themed, when not directly imitating big brother Sports and other traditional games. There's the war-themed Tank [1974], the grandparent of Counter-Strike [1999], or Sea Wolf [1976], or the western-themed Gun Fight [1975], about which one arcade proprietor had this to say:

"...that's the tradition of the Great American West, having a shootout, a duel, in the street. But deliberately running people down — that isn't an American tradition at all." [Tuscon Daily Citizen, January 14, 1977]

All too true! Intentionally mowing down pedestrians just isn't part of any American cultural tradition. That's what makes it safe. For Death Race to influence kids in the very literal way hypothesized by some at the time including professional psychiatrists, a (one-in-a-million) child who played Death Race and/or saw the film at age 9 would need to hold on to that idea, which gets its potency and appeal from its abhorrent aberrance, as what is in fact good and normal, all the way through their driver's test at age 18, in direct contradiction of every other stimulus surrounding them, like seeing thousands of real life people model non-homicidal driving. This kind of thinking from the alleged Moral Majority was dominant for about 30 years, despite being cuckoo bananas. Gamer culture is, to this day, quite noticeably and understandably once-bitten-twice-shy about talking about the possible negative effects or aspects of media because of it.

The perhaps accidental echo of the "American tradition" that the movie Death Race 2000 spoke of so glowingly is very telling. War is certainly American tradition — why, Tank came out right at the tail end of the Vietnam War! Gun Fight, like The Oregon Trail [1971], also depicts American tradition through the lens of the western! Violence in the name of justice or warfare is not just excusable, but downright wholesome and patriotic. Nevermind that colonial expansion and war are just as much displays of wanton violence against the groups who don't have as much capability with violent force as you that just happen to have been lent institutional legitimacy by the state in a way that Death Races haven't yet. (I do actually like westerns, believe it or not, but one should not mistake them for anything but a flight of complete fantasy.) What's missing from this trenchant media analysis is not just any notion of the comparable death tolls of intentional vehicular homicide versus wars and genocide, but any real concept of hegemony, the normalization of ideas. Kids aren't constantly inundated from all angles with talk of how cool and good it is to kill strangers with your car, but entire industries and large chunks of the population and culture that aren't even being paid off are committed to convincing kids and generally everyone that war is good and normal, worldwide.

Death Race is conspicuous among its peers only in its failure to provide any adequate justification, any way for your opposition to fight back on a level & fair playing field. Maybe they knew what they were doing, maybe they just honestly didn't see this difference. In succeeding as a work and as a commercial proposition, it lays bare the truth that nobody comes to the arcade to model moral behavior. That despite the pretense and illusion, violence is all ultimately just as senseless and abhorrent and and perverse and primal in a warzone as it is in in a parking lot. This is why Death Race must be singled out as both an immoral aberration and a damnation on its whole medium, as a cause of violence and sickness and not a symptom or illustration. To do anything else would be to concede to its implicit indictment, or, you know, to maybe just chill out a little bit, both of which are equally unthinkable.

[wadatsumi-no-suigyoku]

03142019 _ 10:50PM

Happy Pi Day! Another questions thing ‘cause I’m bored :D 

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed? I don’t have a closet where I sleep :’) 

(2) Do You Have Freckles? nope

(3) Can You Whistle? yeppp

(4) Last Song You Listened To. Rewrite the Stars - Zac Efron & Zendaya vers. from The Greatest Showman 

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour? black or blue

(6) Relationship Status. taken

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now? 42 degrees Fahrenheit outside 

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky? always.

(9) How Many Followers? 0. we gon’ keep it that way on this side blog

(10) Zodiac Sign. eastern - dog  western - aquarius 

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour? brown

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily? nahh. not yet lol 

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower? sometimes

(14) What Books Are You Reading? none right now. I should definitely get back into that

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14. literally too lazy to do this rn lol maybe i’ll come back to this question later

(16) Favourite Anime? aaahhh I can’t decide... probably banana fish 

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of? Nick

(18) Do You Collect Anything? pokemon on pogo :D 

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch? banana, honey-roasted cashews, & cheezits

(20) Do You Dance In The Car? no way that is so dangerous while driving lol 

(21) Favourite Animal? right now, probably jellyfish 

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics? depends on the event. 

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed? like 2AM

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now? nope

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean? pool. the ocean is scary :O 

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog? mine, obviously. lol 

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water? bottled! water can definitely taste different! 

(28) What Makes You Happy? food, anime merch, and the people I love :D 

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now. insert bored.gif here 

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music? with! I need some sort of chill music in the background. silence becomes distracting with the thoughts swimming around my head 

(31) Dogs Or Cats? honestly, both. 

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be? black or some shade of ocean blue 

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox. PC bitchessss. I will never understand xbox controls for my life. 

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean? neither!! deep water is scary no matter where. 

(35) Do You Believe In Magic? nope. there is always a trick underneath. 

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing? beige 

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue? noooo. I don’t know how people do it 

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It? both. I save a majority of my paycheck & gotta spend the rest on necessities ;) 

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You? uhhh.... a french cookie wrapper (unopened, cuz i’m not a slob like that who just leaves wrappers lying around) 

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now? SHEITH. uhhh... that’s pretty much it. lol 

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly? nahhh. we took care of some in first grade tho. 

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People? depends on what the event is, but I’d hope not. 

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams? oh yes. I can’t remember most of the details when I wake up, but the details I do remember, they are fcking weeeeird. 

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes? The idea of the adventure & traveling is fun, but I hate planes just for the popping of my ears ;~; and the landing. I hate that feeling of my stomach lurching. 

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry. ohmygod. KIMI NO NA WA. ;~; 

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds? uhhhh... peanuts? I guess? I don’t really like either though... 

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be? OLDCODEX <3 

(48) Are You A Picky Eater? I wouldn’t say so. As long as it doesn’t smell repulsive, I’ll try anything once. 

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper? if I don’t have any responsibilities in the morning 

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning? nahh. I love watching & hearing storms from inside. they’re pretty calming. 

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write? oh yeaaah. I should do both more often. I used to a lot back in middle school, but I still enjoy them. 

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud? only when I’m doing chores xD 

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents? oooh carve pumpkins! I’ve never carved one before in my life. 

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up? Kaze to Hoshi ni Dakarete - Kuribayashi Minami

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather) still winter~ spring is coming up next week though! 

(56)What Are You Craving Right Now? panda express, korean fried chicken, cajun shrimp, pasta, any food. LOL 

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed. it’s just all gay anime porn & memes lol 

(58) What Is Your Gender? female 

(59) Coffee Or Tea? tea! <3 

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About? nahhh.. life of an adult, dude. 

(61) What Is Your Sexuality? ima dirty hetero lmao 

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning? hayll nah. 

(63) Favourite Pokemon? milotic! sobble is coming in hot tho LOL 

(64) Favourite Social Media? twitter 

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories? dumbbbb. tried too hard to be like snapchat 

(66) Do You Get Homesick? nopee since I’m here everyday. lol 

(67) Are You A Virgin? nah

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now? suave - the cheap drug store brand :D 

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free? i’ll rent that crappy motel room. why not? 

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life? yaaa

(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters? detective pikachu! 

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex? fuck no. I don’t wish the best for him either. 

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now? “Let justice be done, though the heavens fall.” 

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest? heterochromia :D doesn’t matter which colors

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set? LOVED swinging as a child. I don’t pass by many parks nowadays though. 

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate? sticky rice & broccoli :D 

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone? too many. lol pogo is the major one, then a bunch of idle tapping games 

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not? no, because I am not certified 

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight? oh yeah. 

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network? lol i’ve definitely tried 

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People? not really. I’m sooo antisocial and bad with people ;~;

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them. not on a regular basis. for special occasions? yes. 

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed? I don’t have a bedroom door :’) 

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today? went to work, ate, now I’m sitting on my ass. 

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed? t-shirt & shorts! 

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now. pretty much all the basic stuff. I don’t use most of it though. au natural :D 

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person? definitely a night person xD 

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc. noo that’s too many D; 

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened. I don’t remember any of them 

(90) Favourite Soda Drink? canada dry ginger ale :P 

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite? crunching leaves / crispy food 

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More? jeans 

(93) How Do You Look Right Now? comfy xD ready for bed. 

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You. laying in bed, in a warm pile of my blankets & pillows <3 

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want? I’ve only really contemplated two different ones..   first one is kinda nerdy - I want a blade of marmora insignia on the back of my neck  second one would be having cursive-calligraphy-written ‘agape’ on the inside of my left wrist 

(96) Favourite YouTuber? right now, it’s gotta be The Try Guys :D 

[junker-town]

‘Bachelorette’ Episode 3 recap: Shirts come off for Ellen Degeneres, the guys mud wrestle, Lee is truly awful

There were some lovely moments and some very troubling ones.

Hello, Sports Bachelor Nation, and thank you for joining me on this Monday night as we watch Rachel Lindsay search for love. Last week, after Rachel and DeMario had a fair amount of chemistry at the basketball date, DeMario’s girlfriend, or maybe ex-girlfriend, or maybe not ex-girlfriend, showed up and claimed she was still his girlfriend. DeMario pretended not to know who she was. He literally said, “Who is this?” Which is not a smart thing to say when it quickly becomes clear that you actually know who someone is.

Rachel sent DeMario home. But because this is The Bachelorette, DeMario did not go home. No, DeMario showed up at the cocktail party.

Which is where OUR party begins this week.

RACHEL SHUTS DEMARIO ALL THE WAY DOWN

Rachel agrees to hear DeMario out. DeMario proceeds to beg Rachel to take him back, as men who realize they have made mistakes with women are wont to do. Over the course of his speech, he says his Uber driver told him, “In order to experience joy, you need pain.” Rachel nods. Then she proceeds to deliver the most fire breakup speech I have ever heard.

“What I saw what you did in the gym yesterday? That was a boy. I’m looking for a man...I’m glad this has been a life lesson. I’m glad you gave me the quote about the joy and the pain. I hope the pain you’ve gotten from this gives you joy somewhere else, it’s just not here right now. Thank you.”

THANK YOU. She ends it with “THANK YOU.”

When Rachel comes back through the gates without DeMario, the other men, who’ve all been watching, look gleeful, like a large gaggle of car salesmen who each sold a brand new Chrysler with extra bells and whistles for at least $5,000 more than the asking price.

“He’s not coming back is he?” asks one of the guys.

“Fuck no,” says Rachel.

A few other things that happen at the cocktail party:

Jonathan, who lists his profession as a Tickle Monster, shows up with gigantic, stuffed hands. They have creepy, long fingers and look like something from a cartoon horror movie, except they’re real. Rachel laughs. I shudder.

All the guys are like, “I don’t think Rachel is one to be messed with.”

Let's give Rachel a big hand for standing her ground! #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/u7Nhv1Wdps

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) June 6, 2017

BLAKE AND LUCAS ARE REALLY SOMETHING, ALRIGHT

Before the rose ceremony, Lucas, the Whaboom Guy, tells Rachel he thinks Blake has a crush on him, because he says Blake stood over his head while he was sleeping and licked a banana. Blake tells Rachel there’s no way he could’ve done this, because he doesn’t eat carbs, because he’s on a ketogenic diet. And bananas are carbs.

I’m assuming that at least one of these two asshats make it through to the next round, because that’s what always happens.

AND THEN RACHEL KICKS THEM BOTH OFF

Rachel seriously dunks on the producers by getting rid of the two guys who ham it up most for the camera. Listen, the Bachelor or Bachelorette never does this. JoJo kept Chad, his protein powder, and his meat sticks around for way too long, and Nick met Corinne’s goddamn family.

But Rachel is like, mmm, let me think about this... NOPE. And gives them the boot.

Afterwards, Lucas is talking to the camera, and if his slurred speech and half-mast eyes are any indication, he’s beyond hammered. He reminds me of guys I went to college with who’d get wasted and be like, “So, dya like t’make outwith lacrosh playrs? I played in highshhool.”

Wha-Bananas?!? #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/oGRTCSuW3g

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) June 6, 2017

As Lucas is talking to the camera, Blake goes over to him.

“Sup bro,” says Blake.

“Sup,” says Lucas.

"I just wanna say ... fuck you, you're a piece of shit,” says Blake.

“Go back to your protein shakes,” Lucas says. “Go back to your steroids. Just go back to your fucking garbage clown life, dude.”

Incredible dialogue. I wish I could write shit like this. Blake and Lucas, who are clearly acting, will go on Bachelor in Paradise, which was definitely their end game. They’re probably best friends in real life. I almost respect how Wrong their Reasons were.

THE MEN GET NAKED ON THE ELLEN SHOW AND FRED GETS SAD

Rachel takes her big boys to the Ellen Show, where they all get naked (just kidding, they keep their pants on) and dance up on giddy audience members, including someone’s grandmother. They have nice abs. I respect Rachel for finding ways to view these men without their shirts on before the first pool party. She’s a real innovator.

Ellen Degeneres then asks the men a series of questions, which includes, “Have you imagined having sex with Rachel?” That first question feels a little obvious; I operate under the assumption that most straight men imagine having sex with most women they meet, let alone one they are actively trying to eventually have sex with, if all goes well.

During this course of questioning we also learn that Alex already peed in the Bachelor pool, and that Fred had sex with a forty-year-old when he was 21. Respect.

Speaking of Fred: Rachel was his camp counselor when he was little, and he’s clearly been in love with her since then in that soul-crushing, you’re-the-first-person-I-ever-realized-could-make-me-feel-this-way way. He asks her if he can kiss her, which is awkward. She tells him it’s awkward, he kisses her anyway, and I cringe. Then she says to the camera: “It was like a little boy was kissing me.”

Oof. Not great, Bob. Rachel very graciously sends Fred home when it becomes clear she cannot reciprocate his feelings. Fred, if you’re out there: I hope you’re doing okay, buddy.

ANTHONY’S HORSE DATE

YES! ANTHONY FINALLY GETS A DATE!

We haven’t seen enough of Anthony, but he’s a very handsome Fullbright scholar, so I have high hopes for him. He’s never ridden a horse before, which is too bad, because he’s about to have to: He and Rachel mount majestic beasts and parade down Rodeo Drive in front of a school bus full of people shouting “OH MY GOD, IT’S RACHEL!!!”

Just another day on Rodeo Drive! #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/JN3H0hwKGK

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) June 6, 2017

Why horses? I don’t know, but I fear its a play on Rodeo Drive. Rachel and Anthony ride their horses into a cowboy boot store. I’ve never been to L.A., so I’m not sure if this is an L.A. thing or a We’re The Bachelorette and Can Do Whatever We Want thing. They each purchase a red pair of cowboy boots.

There doesn’t seem to be a ton of chemistry between Rachel and Anthony, but I’m hoping the night date proves me wrong. Peter really screwed everyone over with that dog date.

NIGHT DATE

After a nice dinner on a hill overlooking the city, Anthony and Rachel dance together in front of a quartet. They both seem to have a nice time, and there’s definitely more chemistry than there was during the day date. I’m not sure the fireworks are there they way they were with Peter, but who knows — maybe this love will blossom more slowly. Speaking of blossoms, Rachel gives Anthony a rose.

LEE IS TERRIBLE

Back at the house, the night before the next group date, Eric says he’s invested in Rachel, but he’s not sure she’s invested in him. Iggy says he’s been listening to Eric’s insecurities all day, so he goes over to where Eric is sitting. He’s like, so you’re worried Rachel isn’t here for the right reasons? And Eric is like, no, I’m not saying that. I’m saying that she’s doing what she has to do to get what she wants. Iggy swears at Eric, but it’s so bleeped out that I can’t understand what it was.

Then Eric says this, which I think is a reasonable thing to ask someone you’re trying to marry:

“You’re not going to give a girl you’re not going to marry your all. It’s like, do you like me, yes or no?”

Iggy asks Eric if he’s going to ask Rachel that specifically, and Eric says “[bleep] yeah.” Iggy’s like, then what’s the point of this conversation? And Eric’s like, I don’t know, dude, you’re the one who came over here. Both men raise their voices. Then Lee comes over and starts trying to goad Eric.

We have to talk about Lee.

Last week, Lee’s alleged tweets surfaced.

Gotta love how @BacheloretteABC casts Lee...wonder how @TheRachLindsay feels about it? #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/RX6lkGpgyB

— Erika (@emesola) May 31, 2017

Lee’s account is private. His bio says “pleasantly offensive.” ABC declined to comment on the veracity of the tweets to Variety, but in them, Lee says he hates Islam, supports the “inhumane torture of terrorists,” doesn’t trust female liberals or men who own cats, and endorses a video that “destroys the liberal narrative on the Alton Sterling shooting.” One reads: “What’s the difference between the NAACP and the KKK? Wait for it…One has the sense of shame to cover their racist a– faces.”

An insider told Variety that ABC didn’t know about the tweets. If they didn’t, that’s a huge oversight in the vetting process. If they did know and let him on anyway, this is straight-up unconscionable. A guy like this doesn’t set the stage for fun reality show drama, like Chad, who merely ate all the deli meat last season. It’s setting the stage real, ugly and dangerous interaction.

RACHEL’S FRIENDS FROM NICK’S SEASON SHOW UP AND THEY GO MUD WRESTLING

Raven, Corinne, Jasmine and Alexis show up from Nick’s season to tag along on the next group date. I’m embarrassingly thrilled to see them (side note: you know it’s time to reevaluate some things when the contestants of this godforsaken franchise start to feel like friends).

Could it be Cheese Pasta Wrestling? #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/mMOThXGT7b

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) June 6, 2017

It must be so nice for Rachel to have some friends along at this mud wrestling bar. The part of The Bachelorette that always seems the worst to me is when you have to go on a group date with, like, eight dudes and none of your girlfriends to whisper to when the guys inevitably start being creepy or boring. Also, ten bucks that the majority of these dudes immediately started trying to date the ex-Bachelor girls after they got kicked off. I bet Raven and Brady are, like, married now.

Kenny is very excited about the wrestling, given that he’s a professional wrestler. He yells, “TIME FOR THE PRETTY BOY PITT BULL TO GET BUSY!” And then he barks. I love Kenny.

Bryce says he considers himself the most athletic guy in the house. Meanwhile, Brady reminds me of Toad from Mario Kart — it’s not specifically looks, it’s more essence:

See what I mean?

Anyway, Bryce beats Kenny at mud wrestling, which seems like a real hit to Kenny’s pro-wrestling brand, but I’m going to just chalk it up to an off day. I’m mostly impressed by Rachel’s continued ability to find ways to get these guys to take off their shirts.

KENNY!!!!

Kenny is a bright spot this season. During the night portion of the group date, he tells Rachel he used to be a Chippendale dancer, rips his tank top off, and starts dancing up on her. She’s laughing. I’m laughing. Kenny won’t win, but Kenny is my dude so far. What a world!

Kenny, a man with layers! #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/qnIi79m0WV

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) June 6, 2017

ERIC TELLS RACHEL HE’S VULNERABLE

Eric tells Rachel in a one-on-one conversation that he’s “been running from my feelings my whole life.” She says, “I see you, and I’m happy you’re here, and I’m feeling that.” She gives him the rose for the group date.

AND THEN EVERYTHING IS BAD

So it turns out that on the bus on the way to the wrestling bar, one of Rachel’s friends started asking the guys who they think might not be there for the Right Reasons. Two of the guys said Eric wasn’t.

Well, whaddaya know, the two guys who said that were Bryce and Lee. Rachel tells Eric she’s worried that if two guys said this, maybe it’s true, and that her antenna will be up.

Eric asks Lee why he said that. Lee smiles this evil smile and launches into this cruel back-and-forth where he tells Eric that Eric isn’t ready for love, and shames him for not having had a serious girlfriend. Eric is like, “Why are you doing this?” and Lee, between mean comments, is like, “I love you to death, and think you’re an amazing individual.” It’s the creepiest, most two-faced thing I’ve seen on this show before. You can tell Eric knows what’s going on, too. At one point he asks Lee, “Are you afraid of me?”

What’s also deeply troubling is that unless viewers read an article about Lee’s alleged self-proclaimed bigotry — which ABC has not confirmed, but has not denied — before tonight, most of America probably doesn’t know about it as they watch. From what we’ve seen so far in the show, Rachel doesn’t know at this point either.

To the camera, Lee says that Eric is “One kid with a bad issue. I think there are better guys for [Rachel]. Her best friends gave her information and she goes against them.”

He also says, in an aside, that the shit-talking is fun.

UGH

One of my friends texted me during the show to ask if the season was fun. It was for the first two episodes, I said. But Lee is a huge downer — it’s impossible to watch him as the standard Bachelor villain when he’s a real one of the worst variety.

I wish Lee hadn’t been put on TV, and I hope he’s gone very soon. Rachel is doing this show with as much integrity as you possibly can, and it’s a shame that Lee casts such a shadow over it.