#this project can just be called 'andy is horny'

[justsome-di]

Excerpt from chapter seven of The Fairest of All Stars

“You had the chance to stab him, and you chose his hand?” Syan asked. “You assume I had the opportunity to stab his heart.” “I assumed that you wouldn’t settle for a hand. Are you a weak woman, Andy?” Something about being spoken down to made Andy’s stomach flutter and her legs feel weak. Syan looked her up and down with critical eyes, and Andy wanted to shove her against the railing and pin her hands back. No. Andy wanted to be shoved against the railing with her hands pinned behind her back. She wanted to struggle against Syan’s strong arms and the half-foot Syan stood over her. “Keep insulting me,” Andy said, desperate. “Captain,” Joseph interrupted. “Why don’t we circle around so you both can find dinner?”

[thereyvan]

pre-hiatus and post-hiatus? nah. these are the real subtypes of Fall Out Boy fans

note: this has been designed to be at least somewhat comprehensible to non-fans and new fans 

type 1: the regulars. these are the majority of FOB fans. whether they joined before, during, or after the late 2009 to early 2013 hiatus, whether they prefer the fandom nickname of Car-Crash Hearts, Overcast Kids, Youngbloods, or Fobbies, these are the fans that make up most of the fanbase. type 1s tend to like most of FOB's output, save for a few songs they're not that fond of. they probably follow the band's socials and maybe the band members' socials. overall, these are the FOB fans you're most likely to meet on the internet or irl. they can overlap with types 5 and 6, but are more on the down-low about it 

type 2: the stans. these are the really obsessive fans. they insist that they like everything FOB has put out and have probably heard the various 2001 demos. they're the fans that make it their life mission to go to as many FOB shows as possible and get barricade each time. a few of them get downright creepy with their stalking. it was a type 2/6 overlap that had a hand in causing Patrick Stump to leave social media. understandably, most other fans are not fond of these. they tend to overlap with type 5, occasionally overlapping types 3 and 4 as well 

type 3: the pre-hiatus gatekeepers(i know i said pre-hiatus ain’t a subtype, but this doesn’t refer to all pre-hiatus fans). usually, these fans joined the fandom between the band's formation in mid-2001 and the hiatus and are self-proclaimed “elder emos.” they put all of FOB's pre-hiatus work on a pedestal and degrade their post-hiatus work. they also tend to look down on anyone who joined the fandom after the hiatus. type 3s are the entitled elitists of the fandom. they tend to cross over with types 2 and 5 and occasionally 4. if they’re also a type 5, they're almost certainly horny for Pete Wentz. the one good thing about them is that the type 2 overlaps are the most likely to spread appreciation of Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley 

type 4: the smol-beanifiers. these are the annoying asses who infantilize the everliving shit out of Patrick. they noticed his adorkableness and introversion and exaggerated those traits to hell and back, justifying themselves by pointing out his endearing nature. i mean, while he is quite the cutie, these people take it way too far. they're the ones who tend to call Patrick a "smol bean" and act as if his sweetness makes him completely innocent, most just flat-out ignoring that that man canonically fucks. those that don't ignore that that man fucks almost always overlap with type 5 and are probably Peterick-loving fujoshis. type 4s were everywhere on mid-2010s Tumblr and Wattpad, but are less common now. most of them matured into type 1s, but some only worsened into type 2s. either way, there’s an all but 0% chance that they don’t overlap with type 6 

type 5: the simps. these are the fans that are down bad for at least one of the boys- some might say they're down colossal. type 5s can overlap with any other type and are the most likely to have an AO3 account. there's really not much else to say about these lil degenerates 

type 6: the Patrick lovers. yes, there's enough of these to get their own type. these fuckers- who can overlap with any other type- absolutely love Patrick. they are the #1 Soul Punk and Truant Wave defenders. notably, a decent chunk of the type 6s on the Fall Out Boy sides of Twitter and Tumblr("fobtwt" and “foblr”) are transmascs who project themselves onto him, relating to his insecurity about his body, the resulting fondness for wearing layers, and him being a measly 5'4". these features have also led a lot of generally insecure fans to attach themselves to him. there's also a lot of neurodivergent type 6s, as Patrick himself has ADHD. he also has asthma, which has led many fans to be even more in awe of his belting ability. a lot of them are also unspeakably horny for this man, seeing him as a certified DILF. i am admittedly one of these people 

EDIT: i didn’t mention the type 6 lesbians because i figured that was just a given 

[slasheru]

Announcing TENTH CIRCLE GAMES as a Real Thing TM

I wanted to wait until a Very Special Day to do this so Tenth Circle would have the coolest birthday ever (Friday the 13th of October)! Moving forward (and over time), I'll be putting games out under the Tenth Circle label!! I've been wanting to name my game dev operation for some time, and I've been loving the idea of calling it Tenth Circle (there are only 9 circles in Dante's Inferno, so guess where we're all going??) It'll still literally be just me making the games, but now that I'm getting help with the community & hiring our first ever Marketing/Pub intern (!!!) I figure just slapping "BY ANDI" on everything miiiiight be a bit reductive. :P

I *also* want to make it a project to make the Slasher U engine (which I've fondly nicknamed the Heartbeat Engine) to be usable by other devs, aka have it be a user-friendly way to make your OWN dating sims/narrative RPG games using the systems Slasher U uses. It won't have the minigames rolled in, but you'll be able to set plot triggers, feelings, character points and affinity, show NPC images and emotion animations, arrange your memories, etc, as malleable-ly as possible. It won't exactly be ren'py, but it's something I've been toying with and REALLY want to do in the future!

<333333333333333333333333333 love y'all SO MUCH, and thank you for playing!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is seriously my favorite thing in the whole fucking world to do, so thank you for making my fuckin' dreams come true, and for being the best fuckin' Student Disembody this guy could ever dream for!!!!!!!!!

You can check out the Tenth Circle website here!

xoxoxooxox, and, as I say at the end of all my devlogs - STAY HORNY!! -Professor Plutonium

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

I'm late to the Party but...🔍🔍 🔍🔍

For Andy, Zuri, Caspian and a character of your choice if that's okay?

*Whispers* what the fuck, ghost? XD I post another question sheet and not only did I get none for that, but you also scroll to find an ancient one and send that one instead?! XD (Just teasing you) S'alright though XD I can do a round more of these, thank you :D Obscure facts for:

Andy has in my head, by now a two level bedroom, of course haven't actually gotten to build it yet, cause I am so hopeless behind on my project of populating Saint Greer Islands. However, it's as mentioned in two levels/floors/call it what you wanna call it. Ground floor has his bedroom with a skylight so he can lay and look at the stars. And then there's his basement level, with tv room and a pool bathed in neon glow. But yeah, that's the rough sketch of his room after they moved to SGI.

Zuri has very ticklish feet and absolutely can't stand if anyone touches the souls of her feet. She can't even walk on sand unless it's summer and the sand is very hot. For some reason it don't tickle when it's hot, it burns instead, and she much rather burn than tickle.

Actually as his dad (Evan) have a very ticklish spot on his body as well. His left earlobe. If anyone (hint hint) touches it, it sends him almost immediately into ecstasy! It's like a direct link to horny town. Play with it and he melts beneath you, and you can do whatever you want to him. You'll fully own him. That's about the only thing that actually tames knife boi.... for a while.

For the most time he doesn't bother.... but.... for some unknown reason, even to himself.... he sometimes completely loses his shit if he touches wet sink food. It's almost an out of body experience on those rare days. The rest of the time he couldn't care at all.

[actualhumancryptid]

Taken from the wonderful @talldecafcappuccino

favorite color: Green. it varies which kind — emerald. Teal. at the moment I’m partial to the colour of Hannah Waddingham’s insanely stunning eyes.

currently reading: About to start ‘I’m glad my mom died’ by Jennette McCurdy. Currently reading ‘Respect for acting’ by Uta Hagen, which is one of those old-school standards that get recommended to actors. It’s been enjoyable, because I love hearing about different creative processes for artforms other than writing. But also, there’s a lot of useful things there to consider when it comes to developing deep, realistic characters.

last song: I’ve been listening to lots of late 90′s/early 2000′s stuff for a thing I’m writing. Can’t remember which one was last. Pink’s R&B singles from 2000, TLC Unpretty. Bomfunk MC’s Freestyler, the goddamn ‘thong song’ (not necessarily favourite songs, but ones I remember being endlessly subjected to and that are useful when setting a story in that year)

last series: I’ve been rewatching/trying to finally finish The Americans and I am on the final episode ever, I do not know what I am going to do with my brain when it’s over.Because it’s been an epic ride.  (probably start s2 of Kevin Can Fuck Himself so I don’t get it super spoiled)

last movie: Finally watched that Andy Samberg film ‘Palm Springs’ yesterday. I actually really enjoyed it, though the ending felt a little weak.

sweet/spicy/savory: Savoury. Chips, man. They’re just so good.

currently working on: Mostly original work right now. 1) A bit of a restart/revamp of an extended fiction project I shelved last year (I no longer say ‘novel’ because that word is just too fucking loaded with expectations). It’s been fun to write and seems to flow well so far. 2) Another bigger project is going well too, I’ll call it a ‘promising extended descriptive narrative project’ to avoid putting it under too much pressure, lol. For now, they’re both enjoyable to pursue.

Other than that, planning to write another romangerri Succession fic soon, when an idea hits me. What can I say. I enjoy writing witty, horny, morally bankrupt hot people right now. They spark joy.

tagging: @thisbetternotawakenanything @trying-to-get-somewhere-real @lordofseagulls @boglady and anyone else (particularly the new follows) who see this and feel like chatting about some of the things they like

[the1918]

2020 for the1918

Am I the last person to make this list? Maybe. Do I regret that? Yes. Am I making it anyways because my cognitive behavioral therapy is teaching me fix my avoidance issues? Also Yes.

Let’s do this: @The Trees In Front of Cevans’s House and @Bucky’s Arm... you da real MVPs.

But other than them...

Thank You to Everyone that Truly Made My 2020:

@cantabile-l  Jo (Daddy Dumpster™ Co-Founder) — I have to list you first. How could I not? Every friendship I’ve made in this fandom comes back to you. We literally bonded over porn lookalikes and started this craziness called the Stucky Porn Lookalikes Archive ( @stucky-lookalikes-archive ) to preserve the porn, and it now has now has 85k hits and 500 bookmarks (!!!?!!). But it’s more than that, even more than starting the Daddy Dumpster™ and bonding over culihos. Bespoke got finished because you got me excited enough to want it, just like half a dozen other fics. You were also the basis for many, many other friendships that I list below. Your nesting head canons were the inspiration for so, so many A/B/O moments in my fics. We’re so on the same length on an intellectual and spiritual level (I feel like you and me and @ixalit are three parts of one whole ❤) and I am in love with you for it. Culihos forever.

@hanitrash​ Hani (O.G. Dumpster™ Citizen) —I’m so, so damn glad you’re in my life. We share that sick sense of humor and refusal to adopt a filter. You add flavor to our Dumpster™ with your wit, and I feel so warm when you share pics and updates about the family with us. You were the first person I ran to when I “discovered” HTP and you held my hand 😂 And Jesus—your talent. I could go on and on and on about Through The Darkness I Heard Your Voice and Private Showing, but also one of my New Year’s resolutions is to start reading your work as Loralynne Summers. Thank you for making me smile every day of last year since April.

@trekchik Jini (O.G. Dumpster™ Citizen) — I can’t speak to the number of laugh-out-loud, belly-grabbing, cackling moments I have had in a year that could easily have been shit otherwise, all because of you. I feel like you’ve truly become a member of my family; like, I see you posting in the Dumpster™ when I wake up in the morning and I think to myself, “Oh, what’s the fam up to today?”. I know I’ve gone on and on about your talent (absolute queen of dialogue and pacing) before, but I don’t thank you enough for keeping the Porn Archive alive when the rest of us are slacking. Your Stucky Tumblr Drabbles (especially the meet cutes) puts a smile on half the fandom’s face regulary, and I’m excited to re-read the wonderful Anagnorsis & Peripeteia soon. Here’s to another year of weird dildo pictures.

@thegodswife Amanda (Dumpster™ Citizen) — I feel like we were literally destined to become friends. The love I feel for you and your little family is real and immense, and I feel like your victories (in life and in writing) are my victories. You have made a slow but steady convert of me to Shrinkyclinks with fics like peaches and because it's christmas, and I am in awe of your talent for writing charged dynamics with jaw-dropping moments. This fandom is lucky to have such a gem as you. 2021 is going to be the Year of Amanda (*clinks Lindeman’s Framboise glasses 🥂*)

@ixalit Max (Dumpster™ Citizen) — My relationship with you has and continues to be lifechanging for more reasons than I can even go into on tumblr. You make me laugh. You make me cry (usually in good ways). You make me horny by supplying the #porn-and-fun as the dutiful resident horny teenage boy of Dumpster™. I remember so clearly when we first messaged talking about your Evanstan thoughts and fics, and I knew your writing was special then (omg, Hiraeth?? How dare). You deserve all the success you earned in 2020 and every bit more success that you will continue to have this year. There is no one else I would rather have with me as we make this ~journey through Song of the Rolling Earth together. 

@becassine Bex (Dumpster™ Citizen) — What can I say about my lucky charm? 🍀 I found our friendship later in the year and I feel it was truly central to the way I finished out my year with a bang (lol). Your encouragement to finish Bespoke supercharged me, and I’m still riding that high in writing SoRE. But for every bit we talk about you being the Queen of Hype (Becassine, First of Her Name), I am also stunned by your own gorgeous writing. The Way I Feel For You is a gift to this fandom and it’s gonna keep rocking our world, along with any other creative endeavor you choose to embark on. Thank you for the treasure of your continued friendship.

@darter-blue​ Bec (Dumpster™ Citizen) — My gorgeous, gorgeous cunt of a friend. What ever am I going to do with you? I feel like you and I have clicked so perfectly and so instantly, and I feel such a strong connection to you. I have been enamored with your skill and your style since I first stumbled across your Sergeant Barnes and Colonel Rogers: A Love Story series and then rapidly gobbled up your other writing. Getting to collab with you on No Vacancies was a dream come true. You make me feel so connected to the outside world and humanity even in this bizarre time and even though you’re on the other side of the world.

@kalee60 Kel (Dumpster™ Citizen) — You flawless sass-master. You brilliant human. You tricky little bastard. What a perfect addition to the Dumpster™ you have been! And your talent, Jesus... just being around you makes me want to write. I have truly never seen someone with as much talent write so prolifically, and I am in very real awe of it. If I had to pick “Fic of the Year” for me, I would not hesitate to pick Push The Button—it turned my world upside down—but for as much as we talk about that epic, your AU Extravaganza is really miracle to behold. And I am so, so pumped for you during this exciting time coming up in your life. Here’s to magnificent year for you in 2021!

@andysmountains​ Andy Gator Lord 🐊 — You’ve changed my life. I’m sitting here and I honestly don’t know how else to put it. You’re hilarious and you’re a ball of sunshine and you have kept this breeder feeling rooted to reality (in a great way) and remembering how to smile during some of the shittiest times I can remember. Newts. You’ve helped me explore my identity, and I’m not sure what greater gift you could have given me. Also, I’ve never heard true love whispered more sincerely than when I see 🔪—and I would give you nine hundred and ninety-seven 🔪 now if not for the fact that you have literally beat me to it.  

@ceratonia-siliqua Cera — We’ve shared so much. I feel so privileged that you’ve picked me to be a person that you want to talk to during hard times because you’re such a special guy, and because you’ve got talent that the world needs to see forever and ever and ever (I continue to blown away by what you did in Sunshine, and none of us are ready for Quilt Fic™) and I hope you never stop writing your whole damn heart out. I truly love you. I do. Thank you for reminding me that there is endless humanity and prose in this world.

@howdoyousleep3​ K — I feel like 2021 couldn’t be starting off better now that you’re in my life again. Last year was largely defined for me by the time I spent with you, and I’ve truly been changed by you and your writing. You are an endless amount of inspiration for me and this whole community; I would bet real money that the number of Daddy Kink converts that owe their new *interest* to finding your Daddy Steve Rogers/Baby Bucky Barnes series numbers in the hundreds (not to mention your other AUs). But fics aside, I had so many smiles and laughter throughout 2020 because of you, and I owe such a big part of my happy heart to you and your presence in my life. You have a huge, caring heart. Cheers to Cevans continuing to be a giant, bro-ish man slut and us never stopping giving him shit for it — and here’s to Trucker Bucky and his bug.

@lullabybeauty Bee — I’m not sure I would still be writing if it weren’t for you. The interest you took in my fics and endless support you’ve provided have turned me into a real-life 🥺🥺🥺 face so many times I can’t count them. But more than the hype you provide, you are an amazing person, and I hope you never stop putting (and ceaselessly keeping) the word out in our community through your blog that Black Lives Matter and black women matter now and forever; it’s far too easy for those of us who are white to let that truth fade from our minds when there’s not something terrible happening in the news, and I’m so thankful for your posts filling up my dash with reminders I need to be a good ally and giving me information to share with others. Thank you for the gift of yourself.

@ywecanthavenicethingsanymore Caroline—You sort of swooped out of nowhere for me and boosted my confidence through the roof. Your comments and your hype and your hilarious tags remind me every day that writers are only half of the fanfiction equation; all we do without supportive friends like you is sit in the corner dreaming of stories we don’t have the confidence or feel-good to put to words. Thank you for your constant support and for being so. damn. cool.

@littlesurfergrl Heather—Oh, Heather. Queen of the A+ tags. Sender of inbox updates about what time you get off of work and why you’re vibrating to read a fic. All-around beautiful person. Your love and support is magic in my veins.

@hoeforthegays Baby J—I am so damn excited for this creative project you’ve taken on; you are so talented. I look forward to our thirst talks all the time. You make me laugh with your screaming and even your advice. Such a source of sunshine in my life.

@capbvckyrogers / @tae-withsuga Cam — You were the first person who ever reblogged a farmer daddy post. You were the first person who ever sent me a prompt. Honestly, you were the first person who ever bonded with me over a character. There zero (0) chance I would have enjoyed fandom (or certainly any kind of creative success) the way that I did in 2020 if not for you. Thank you, endlessly. 

@justice-for-plums​ Kenz — Another “late in the year” friendship find that I am so grateful for. I love our talks! I am so thankful you felt comfortable to reach out and talk about writing. Our workshopping has helped remind me of what works and what doesn’t for me, and I love the creative collaboration on head canons! Excited for more in 2021.

Shrunkyclunks Bitches®, or those not mentioned already above: @dreadlockholiday (co-founder of the Bitches® with @justice-for-plums​ and #1 reason I blushed last year), @oh-i-swear-writes​ @wayward-lives​ @allegedlyann and others I either am missing on tumblr or forgetting (but not because I don’t love you) — Here��s to Cap Steve and modern Bucky and 1,000,000+ words written during our writing sprints in 2021. [Bitches® server membership is open by the way! If you love Shrunkyclunks, contact Dready @dreadlockholiday​].

And to the endless list of others who made me smile, laugh, sometimes cry, feel proud, but always feel that incredible Stucky love — a list that includes but is certainly not limited to @fishcustardandclintbarton,​ @hawkeyeandthewintersoldier, @willbakewithstucky, @hannah-stagram​, @thewaythatwerust​, @bigbraiiin, @musette22, @luninosity​, @fandomfluffandfuck​, @maddiewritesstucky​, @hbalbat, @doctorenterprise​, @epicstuckyficrecs, @k347 and the massive important people I know I am forgetting (...like some BIG ones)

To everyone above and anyone else who has scrolled this far:

Thank you.

Let’s all have a fantastic 2021 🥂

[lia-jones]

Growing Together - Chapter Twenty-Eight - The Proof Is In the Brownie

Author's note:

Hello beautiful people! It's been such a long time since I have posted, and I'm truly sorry for the no-show, but things ahve been hectic at work and I really couldn't get myself in the right headspace to write, but now we're hopefully rolling! I struggled a lot deciding whether I should write this chapter or not. It doesn't feel like my usual narrative, some of you will find it unusual, and still I had to get it out of my head. If you can, leave me a comment or an ask with your opinion!

So, without further ado, let's get to it!

“Oh God.” I croaked, looking around. “I think we took this thing way too far.”

Victor lifted his head from my shoulder, disheveled hair still covered with flour.

“You think?” He frowned. “We destroyed the kitchen.”

Feeding Instructions

“Andy, will you come here for a second?” I heard Victor call from the hallway.

“Yeah.” I stopped beside the aquarium, running my fingers through my wet hair.

“This is how much you give him.” He showed me a small plastic spoon with lobster pellet food. “Twice a day. Once in the morning, once in the evening. No more than that.”

Here we go.

“Are you also instructing me on how many times I should feed our son, or is it just the lobster?”

“You forget you fed him, and then you feed him more than necessary.” He dropped the food into the aquarium. “He’s getting fatter, his exoskeleton doesn’t even get a chance to harden.” He paused, staring at the aquarium. “Maybe I should make you a sheet to keep track of his feeding.”

“For the last time, Victor, I am not overfeeding the lobster! I am perfectly able to remember if I have fed him or not, I’m not senile.” I walked back to our room, starting to feel annoyed.

“This from the person who forgot her phone inside the refrigerator.” I heard him follow me.

“That is different, I was getting a yogurt for Owen and I was holding the phone...”

“I would buy you some memory supplements, but you’ll probably forget to take them.” He mocked me.

“You know, if you are so worried about the lobster, don’t go.” I turned to him. “Stay and feed him yourself.”

“You know I can’t do that. I need to make sure everything is running smoothly before the inauguration.” He held me by the waist.

“Right.” I leaned my head against his chest with a heavy sigh. ”And I need to stay behind to look after LCG and help Goldman if he needs me.”

“It’s only for two weeks.” He pressed his chin on top of my head. “Then you’ll meet me in Paris, and we can make up for the lost time.”

I wrapped my arms tightly around him, like somehow my embrace could force him to stay. Although traveling was a big part of Victor’s job, since we got Owen he used to avoid it as much as he could, and I got used to having him with us all the time. I knew LFG France was a big project that demanded a lot of his attention, especially during the first months, and he had no choice but to go, yet I still resented the fact that I would have to endure two weeks without his warmth, sleeping alone in a cold bed.

“In the meantime, will you please try not to kill our pet?” He broke our embrace, pecking me in the forehead. “Twice a day. No more, no less.”

“Oh, for the love of-”

“Nevermind, I’ll just ask Owen.”

And with that, my husband left me alone in our bedroom, probably to avoid the insults I was about to throw at him.

A Brownie a Day Keeps the Sadness Away

“You’re leaving tomorrow?” Owen poked his eggs. “But I have to go to school today, I won’t have any time to be with you before we leave.”

“We have tonight.” Victor smiled at his son.

“It’s no use, it’s not enough time.” The boy pouted. “And I’ll be too sad to enjoy it anyway.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at my five-year-old drama. Victor gave me a knowing look.

“Well, that being the case, I may as well return the tickets I bought to the Insectopia exhibition.” Victor spoke casually, his eyes on his phone.

Owen dropped his fork and looked at his father, his sweet brown eyes sparkling.

“We are going to see Insectopia today?”

Victor got up from the table calmly, retrieving an orange cardboard box from the fridge.

“We were, but since you are so depressed, you may not want to do it. I even bought your favorite brownies from Hungry Hippo, but I understand if you lost your appetite.”

“I can have brownies for breakfast?!?” Owen’s eyes opened so wide I thought they were going to pop out.

“Finish your eggs first.” Victor took three more plates from the cupboard, serving us all brownies. Owen took his fork again, eating his eggs in a rush.

“Done!” He announced after what felt like 10 seconds. “I want a brownie please!”

“God, Owen, did you even chew your food?!?” I looked at my son’s plate, surprised to see it empty. But I don’t think he even heard me, already busy cutting his brownie.

“Hmmm, these are sooo goood!” Owen closed his eyes as he took a bite of his brownie. “The best brownies ever, better than all other brownies! Not even Dad can make brownies this good!”

My husband’s face fell.

“My brownies are not this good?”

“No, these are so much better!” Owen replied with his mouth full of chocolate.

Victor gave me an inquisitive look. I sipped my coffee, pretending not to notice.

“Hmm.” He frowned, cutting a piece of his brownie with the fork and bringing it to his mouth. After a moment, his frown deepened. “They are. But how?”

Playing My Brownies Right

As usual, we drove Owen to school and headed to LFG Tower to work. On a regular day, Victor and I would spend our commute time talking about our daily affairs, clients we would meet, who would cook dinner or pick Owen up. But since it was his last day at home before he flew to Paris, all of that seemed irrelevant. The whole day just felt a bit sad for me.

“I wish you could take the day off for us to spend some time together. It’s been ages since we had some time for ourselves.”

“Some other time.” He sighed. “I need to get some last-minute affairs in order before I leave.”

“Can’t you take some time and have Goldman do it?” I complained. “You’ve been working non-stop.”

“I should take care of some things myself.”

“Funny, back when I was publishing my study, you were such a firm believer in delegating.” I squinted at him.

“Different situations.”

“Because I’m me and you’re you?”

There was a moment of silence, and I smiled thinking Victor was mulling over my astonishing comeback. Turns out, he wasn’t even listening.

“Do you think those brownies are better than mine?”

“That is your main concern right now!?”

“Well, are they?” He insisted.

“Ok, consider this a lesson of tough love.” I turned to him. “Yes, they are. Happy Hippo’s brownies are vastly superior to yours. And that’s ok. You don’t have to be good at everything. Someone can’t be good at everything.”

“I beg to differ.” He frowned, watching the road. “My whole life, I worked hard to achieve perfection, and I have reached it. I believe that with consistent effort and dedication, one can be good at anything.”

I stifled a laugh.

“Not brownies, though.”

“Don’t think I can’t tell you are mocking me.”

“Oh no, I’m going to lose brownie points.” I poked him.

“Will you back off?” He poked back. “I have plenty to do today, I don’t want to catch moronitis from you.”

“You know, if you were so good at everything, I’m sure you would have no trouble delegating your tasks to Goldman and spending the day with me.” I gave him a daring look. “In fact, I bet you can’t.”

“You bet?” He smiled mischievously at me. There was nothing Victor loved more than a good challenge. Unfortunately for him, I was well aware of that.

“Want to make it official?”

“It depends. What are the terms of this bet?”

“For today, until Owen arrives from school, if I dare you to do something, you’ll need to do it, and you need to do it perfectly. If I win, you’ll have to admit you are not good at everything. Also, you can’t nag me about anything for a whole month. Not about lobster food, not about the mess I make in the bathroom, nothing.”

“Fair enough. So if I win, you’ll have to always agree with what I say and act accordingly for a month. During that time, what I say goes, and you can’t go against it. And you will have to acknowledge my prowess as well.”

“I always have to agree? So I can never tell you that you’re wrong?” I frowned.

“Not for thirty days, you can’t.”

“Not even if you are talking your way into sleeping on the couch?”

“That won’t happen because you’ll always agree with me.” He smiled. “See? It’s a foolproof plan.”

“You have to win first.” I dared.

“I’m confident about my chances.” Keeping a cautious eye on the road, he pressed the screen of his phone. “And to show you I mean it, I will complete the first challenge.”

“You’re taking the day off?” I smiled, surprised to see my teasing work so well.

“I was already planning to, you idiot.” He pretended to be angry, although I could see him suppressing a smile. “I only had a short meeting to attend and then I would whisk you away from the office for some time for two. Sadly, you had to act childishly and ruin the surprise.”

Awww, soft Victor. I leaned against his bicep, my heart filled with love for this man. It almost made me feel bad for planning to make his day a living hell. Almost.

Put Your Mouth Where Your Brownie Is

“A supermarket? That’s your idea of time for two?”

“It’s been a while since we’ve had a quiet day at home, just the two of us.” Victor replied, filling our cart with several items. “And cooking together seems like a nice activity.”

“Well, since you’ll be gone for so long, I thought we could use some more…” I batted my eyelids at him. “... intimate time.”

“Fear not, I will not leave my wife unsatisfied.” He smiled.

That smile was enough to leave me a babbling horny mess. Get it together, Andrea.

It wasn’t until we stopped by the dairy fridge that I paid close attention to the contents of our cart: chocolate, sugar, flour, and a stick of unsalted butter Victor had just put there.

“We’re going to bake brownies.” My good mood was gone at that exact second. We were supposed to be taking time for us, how could he even think about brownies?

“We are going to try and recreate that recipe, perhaps even improve it.”

“Well, don’t use that butter then. Use this one instead.” I retrieved a stick of regular butter from the fridge.

“I will not use cheap butter to bake.” He put the salted butter in its original place. “It alters the consistency and flavor. It belongs on warm bread, not brownies.”

I could say I was disappointed that Victor was more concerned about his pride than the short time we had to be together before his trip. I could even say that it upset me how condescending he would sound sometimes, always telling me how to do things, like I was Owen’s age. All of these were true, but that wasn’t what was bothering me the most. Victor would leave soon, and we wouldn’t see each other for two weeks, and I knew I would be a needy insecure mess during the time he would be away, barely able to sleep on that giant bed by myself, missing his loving whispers in the morning, his huge sweaty body making love to me. To add insult to injury, this distance didn’t seem to affect Victor at all. He was cool as a cucumber, like this long trip away from his family was just another Tuesday.

I felt entitled to some pettiness.

“You know what? Forget about the old bet.” I took the stick of butter and placed it again in our cart. “Let’s make a new one. Same consequences, different challenge.”

“What do you have in mind?” He came closer, looking me in the eye.

“Simple.” I stared back defiantly. “The best brownie wins.”

All is Fair in Love and Brownies

The terms were pretty straightforward: we had fifteen minutes to prepare the batter, after which we would put both trays in the oven, simultaneously, and bake them for the exact same time. If we couldn’t decide on which brownie was the best, Owen would have the final say. The winner would have absolute power over the household for a month, and could not be defied during that time, unless in dire circumstances.

We placed the ingredients on the counter, along with the bowls and pans we would need. Victor started the timer on his phone.

“Ready?” He glanced at me.

“Let’s get this party started.” I smiled.

It was showtime.

Victor and I loved cooking together, but our cooking methods couldn’t be more different. I was more of a messy cooker, leaving eggshells on the counter, and flour everywhere, and most times my clothes would also become victims of my culinary endeavors, while Victor was methodical and clean, neatly arranging his ingredients on the counter, carefully measuring each one of them. Surprisingly, we worked pretty well together: Victor quickly embraced my spontaneous side and I obviously benefited immensely from his methodic one. Side by side, as competitors, not so much. That became clear when I grabbed the flour and placed it absentmindedly on the counter, the bag still open.

“Close the bag after you use it.” Victor paused his mixing to close the flour bag. “Clumsy as you are, you’ll spill flour all over the counter.”

“So what?” I shrugged, busy mixing my batter. “It’s just flour, we’ll clean it afterward.”

“Have you noticed how filthy your side of the counter is? How can you work in such chaos?” He scolded. “Eggshells everywhere, flour and sugar on the floor…” He wiped my forehead. “How did you even get flour on your face?”

And there he was again, talking to me like I was five. Oh boy.

“I’m sorry, is my mess making you uncomfortable?”

“Just stay on your side of the counter, I don’t want to get stains on my shirt.”

That was enough. If Victor was so adamant about treating me like a child, I would act like one.

“Oops!” I tilted the sugar jar over the counter, sugar spilling all over Victor’s side. “You are right, I can be really messy.”

“What’s the matter with you?” He quickly grabbed a cloth. “Are you trying to aggravate me on purpose?”

“Maybe I am.” I shrugged. “I mean, I’m sure a perfect man like you must be prepared to deal with all challenges life throws at him, including a messy wife.”

“A little sugar isn’t going to stop me, if that's what you think.” He gave me a smug look, returning to his work. “I’ll still win.”

“Is that so?” I paused my mixing, wondering what I could do to get him pissed.

“Easy now, don’t go doing things you might regret.” Victor raised an eyebrow at me, like he somehow had read my mind.

“I think my batter is ready. Tell me what you think.” I grabbed the spoon I was using to mix and whipped it towards Victor, a bunch of brownie batter landing on his neck and face. “Yummy, right?”

Victor paused, his eyes closed, taking a deep breath as he wiped the chocolate from his face. For a moment I thought he would just scream at me and storm away. I had something quite different.

“Not quite ready yet.” He took the flour bag and dumped it all over me. “It needs more flour."

“Are you sure?” I gave him a defying look, after wiping some of the flour off me. “Have another taste.”

And I did the unthinkable. I took my mixing bowl and poured it all over his shirt and pants.

“For the record,” Victor said after recovering from the initial shock, “you were the one who started this.”

I really can’t tell who threw what next, but the next thing I know is we were in full battle mode, ingredients flying everywhere. Victor got a clear advantage when he remembered he had some eggs close by. Thankfully, I was quick to react and managed to avoid being bombarded by opening the fridge door and hiding behind it. And that’s when I saw it. The can of whipped cream I had bought to garnish the other brownies, and that Victor had refused to use because food in a can is unacceptable. Well, I would put it to good use now. I emerged from behind my improvised shelter, shaking the can vigorously.

“Now, if you’re smart,” I pointed the nozzle at him, “you’ll admit defeat and walk away.”

“If you were smart”, he walked confidently towards me, “you’d know it takes a lot more than whipped cream for me to fold.” Before I could react, he grabbed both my wrists and made me twirl, holding my arms behind my back, the can forgotten on the floor. “Now admit defeat.” He whispered in my ear, from behind me.

“Oh, bite me.” I scoffed.

He didn’t waste a second. He took my earlobe in his mouth and bit it hard.

“Satisfied?”

I gave him a daring look.

“Harder.”

Bigger Brownies to Bake

My defiance was like a trigger in Victor’s mind. He didn’t give me any time to think or react, turning me effortlessly in his arms, his mouth taking mine in a passionate kiss. And just like that, our food fight turned into a steamy make-out session.

Yes, the kitchen was a mess, and Victor would be leaving soon, but none of the things that bothered us before seemed to matter at that moment, as we focused solely on each other and the way we felt, the world a blurry notion in the back of our minds. We simply gave in to our lust, kissing, touching, teasing, hands ripping clothes apart and throwing them on the ground. Victor was far from cold, despite popular belief, he was a very intense man, and loving him was just as intense. Every time we gave in to our feelings like this, it was like being swallowed by a gigantic yet pleasurable wave, only hoping we would come out whole in the end. We made love right then and there, on our kitchen island, too entranced to think of anything else. It was only when we came down from our high, landing in each other’s arms with a wide grin on our faces, that we minded the real world again.

“Oh God.” I croaked, looking around. “I think we took this thing way too far.”

Victor lifted his head from my shoulder, his hair covered with flour.

“You think?” He frowned. “We destroyed the kitchen.”

Our eyes met for a second before we both burst into laughter. Problems like a dirty kitchen seem so silly when we’re happy.

“Will you tell me why you have been so moody with me lately?” He pulled me closer to his chest.

“I haven’t…” I started defending myself, but gave up when I noticed him glaring at me. “I have been moody, yes, you are right.” I sighed. “I know this is stupid and you’ll probably make fun of me, but the idea of having you away for so long… it’s unsettling.”

“Idiot, it’s only for a few weeks.” He chuckled. “Before you know it, you’ll be taking the jet to meet me.”

“See? And that infuriates me too!” I pushed away from his arms. “Here I am, pouring my heart out, and you laugh! Like this is a joke, like there is no reason for me to be feeling that way, especially when it’s clear you won’t-”

He pressed his lips against mine, and as usual, my thoughts evaded me completely. His kiss was sweet and soothing, taking away all my anxiety. He took my face in his hands and broke the kiss to look into my eyes, his voice with a sweeter yet vulnerable tone now.

“You are usually so good at reading me.” He smiled. “How can you think I don’t care?”

His eyes were filled with such honesty that I began to question my reasoning as well. That man did nothing but love me, deeply, every day. How could I possibly question that? I watched as he lifted my wrist, holding the red ruby charm between these fingers.

“I carry your heart with me.” He whispered.

“I carry it in my heart.” I returned.

“I may not say much, but my word is biding. You never need to worry about these things, you have the answer to them already. Here.” He pointed at my bracelet. “Here.” He took my left hand, kissing my ring finger. “And hopefully, here.” His hand rested on my chest. “Even when this gets you in trouble.” He tapped my forehead with a smile. “I give all these reminders and still you forget? You are in dire need of those memory supplements.”

“Damn it.” I shook my head. “You won.”

“No, the terms were that the best brownie would win. We didn’t get to bake them.”

“You wanted to prove to me that you are perfect.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. “And you did. You are absolutely perfect. At least for me.”

“Well, that being the case…” He came closer, brushing his lips against mine. “I think we have a tie.”

The kitchen was pristine clean when Owen came from school, and our little adventure became our secret, a private joke we shared in our moments of intimacy. Another proof that, even in chaos and uncertainty, we would always find each other.

This project has been going for a year now (it started in February 2020) and it won't be over any time soon, so I would like to ask you, as much as possible, for your support, because we still have a very long way to go. So, if you enjoy the work, don't forget to comment and reblog. It gives it traction and enables other people to learn about it, and for me to get more excited about what I do.

[rosethehat]

DOCTOR SLEEP SPOILER REVIEW

WARNING! THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS AND IS FULL OF SPOILERS!!! DO NOT READ IT YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE SPOILED!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!! 

SPOILER REVIEW

Okay this will be less eloquent than my spoiler-free review and I’m just trying to dump my thoughts. I love that they started the movie with Rose / Violet (Violet McGraw) which was shown in a teaser. So lovely to hear Rebecca Ferguson’s beautiful singing voice even though it was brief. Plus that one scene of Ewan McGregor singing with a hospice patient…can we call Doctor Sleep a musical? I love love love Rebecca and Rose that much is obvious she is so good I don’t even have to say. I could just go on about her gorgeous face and all that charm. Rebecca’s decision to make the accent a diluted Irish that became American is clever because then it won’t sound unnatural cause at first I was worried the American wouldn’t sound American, or the Irish wouldn’t sound Irish. Her alluring and signature “Hi there”’s are so good but I didn’t expect her to say it that many times and I was afraid that if she kept saying it, it would be overdone. By the way, Rose astral projecting across the galaxy and the weird sci-fi flying stuff was a nice touch, and it was cool that RWBY actually had a significant part for Abra.

Hospice stuff was pretty faithful to the book. Azzie! Best cinematic cat since Goose the Cat. John Dalton didn’t really get a significant role but again, didn’t impact too much. Neither did Momo/Concetta, I almost thought they wouldn’t include her in the book at all. This also means that Dan is never revealed to be Lucy’s half brother, but Abra still calls him Uncle Dan anyway.

Baseball boy scene was talked about a lot in interviews, and they were right! Jacob Tremblay is brilliant.

The switcheroo was made a lot simpler and didn’t matter too much that it was changed except I think it would’ve been nice to have the model train since they teased it at the beginning with Teenytown and all that. David Stone and Billy Freeman’s deaths… I was not expecting that. It almost made me think of Kubrick deciding to kill of Dick Hallorann but you know what? The way I see it, I can justify it because Dave and Billy dying only give more motivation to Abra and Dan, whereas Dick showing up at the Overlook and dying immediately did absolutely nothing (yes I’m mad about that, Mr. Kubrick). Speaking of Dick I was so good to see him, and I’m glad Mike Flanagan managed to have him play a big part in helping Dan even after he died, so Kubrick’s change didn’t end up being that bad I guess.

Casablanca scene, love love love!! I love Rose and Crow at the movies, and changing from Indiana Jones to Casablanca I hope that was a nod towards Ilsa? If not, I’m just glad it was the way it was. (Side note there’s a moment when Dan and Abra say ‘Did we get it? We got it’ which made me think of Mission: Impossible too). So Rose the Hat and Crow Daddy… they were so horny in the book oh god. As an R-rated film they totally could have gotten away with including every sex scene from the book but none of it was cause I guess it wasn’t necessary to move the story forward. When Rose sits with her legs spread and then she crawls over to him… god… Also Rose is still a bisexual icon in my heart even if it’s not shown on screen. I hoped Crow Daddy’s death would be sadder for me since I felt so invested in their relationship in the book and in the book he said “Rose I love y-“ before he died which absolutely killed me but none of that was there. Still, that gif of Rose screaming is exactly what everyone speculated it to be… I wanted to see more of her pain mourning them. Grampa Flick’s death was quite impactful though. Andi’s initiation scene with Silent Sarey and Apron Annie holding her down reminded me of that one Midsommar scene. Speaking of them… the other True Knot members had literally no lines I wish they had more to do than just lounge around when they weren’t eating steam, and you wouldn’t even know their names if you didn’t a) read the book or b) look at IMDB. They kept in Abra saying Barry the Chunk but I’m glad they cut the Ch*nk slur. Also the whole measles plotline is cut and the ‘gunfight’ scene kind of felt a little ridiculous to me cause they don’t use ‘rube weapons’ and it took them out so quickly.

Some people think they went overboard with The Shining references and I only agree for some of them. Alex Essoe playing Wendy was good, but some recreations were unnecessary (like the iconic shot of Wendy screaming in the bathroom. We really didn’t need a 2019 version of that). The surprise appearance was Jack Torrance, and I get that some people might have thought it was too much but you see Dan confronting him and his demons. Alcoholism is brought up way more after Dan is sober, and you continuously see him get tempted and struggle which I don’t recall the book does. Rose even uses that as a motivator to tempt him, and I liked that touch.

Speaking of Dan and Rose, the final confrontations changed so that there was a lot of Dan fighting Rose instead of Abra handling most of it. When Abra fights Rose it was kind of baffling to me that she so easily kept cutting Rose’s legs it was a little wtf for me. I actually kind of prefer movie!Rose’s death because I always felt that book!Rose simply falling off a roof didn’t feel like a ‘good’ enough way for her to go. When Rose mentions that there are more of them out there, I really hope they’re not trying to set up more sequels cause I think it’s perfect the way it is…

Okay now for the big bold choice…. Dan… dies??? What the fuck Mike Flanagan! What the fuck! I know he likes closure but I was hoping he’d get more of a Luke ending than a Nell ending if you know what I mean, Hill House fans. He really played us… I was thinking “Wait oh my god Dan’s dead? Oh good, he’s not dead. Oh fuck, he is! Wait what? IS this open to interpretation? I have so many questions…” I can see how Stephen King was pleased with it, and I bet it was the Overlook burning up that really won him over. I just realized that literally only Abra and her mom survive 99% of the characters are dead wow. The ending ‘Shine on, Abra Stone’ was a little cheesy but you know what? I loved it.

Read my Spoiler-free review here

[idontneednofuckinhug]

My 2018 Top 15 albums of the year

2018 was a stupidly productive year in terms of music, the last time there was this much quantity and quality of great projects and artists was probably the early 2010s when a lot of the current crop of big names were only just making a name for themselves. As a wannabe music critic I figured I'd enjoy writing and sharing the albums I've enjoyed the most this year - when I started making the list I realized exactly how much dope projects there were this year and how hard would it be for me to rank anything outside of my top 5, as I knew that was my top 5 before I even started making the list, but everything else was a nightmare. A lot of great projects, from some notable artists at that, were left out and honestly people would probably throw shit at me for some of the inclusions in my list. It's a list with a lot of musical styles and with a mix of proven artists and artists only just starting to make a name for themselves. Without further ado, let's start this list - I'll keep it brief for every album, whilst still trying to give the exact reason why I loved it.

15. J. Cole - KOD Never in my life did I think I'd rate a J. Cole album as one of my favourites of the year, I always called him a corny, fake-woke nigga who I just couldn't enjoy, because of wack bars like "You can't outfart me". Well, I was proven wrong, this year the guy made a complete 180 in the rap industry and proved people like me wrong. The project included a lot of trap beats, something completely new for him and was kept very minimalistic in terms of lyrics, whilst still making a great point and making comments on social issues, especially on songs like ATM and Kevin's Heart, discussing the curse that is money and how hard it is to be faithful nowadays. Genre: Conscious trap/Conscious rap.

14. Kali Uchis - Isolation Although she's been around for a bit, Kali Uchis's music still sounds very raw and she's still trying to find her sound in my opinion - and that's what I love about her. Isolation isn't an album you can put a label on - from Spanish pop, to RnB, to neo soul and even some hip-hop and funk, this album has everything and it's beautiful. Kali shows off her sexiness, whilst at the same time she sings about still being young and unsure about where she's going in her life, and about some of the decisions she wished she didn't do. The album is beautiful from start to finish, and although there are some blips ( I honestly didn't like the song with Gorillaz too much), I absolutely loved the passion and energy in this project. Genre: Pop/Rap/Funk/Neo Soul/ RnB/ Folk?

13. Sylvan LaCue - Apologies in Advance Probably a bit forgotten by most people since it was released on the 12th of January and because Sylvan is still relatively underground, AA is a very deep and emotional project, complemented by very jazzy and mellow production. Sylvan made an amazing concept album, showcasing the emotions you'd feel in an AA(Anonymous Alcoholics meeting), even adding 12 interludes for each step you have to take in such a meeting. The album promotes opening up about your inner demons and self-love and honestly I can't get enough of it even a year later. Genre: Jazz rap

12. Sons of Kemet - Your Queen is a Reptile An album I only just found out about, but one of my favourite jazz projects of all time after listening to it tens of times in the last week. Sons of Kemet don't seem to wear any influences on this album and have a completely unique and avant-garde sound which reflects on the album as a whole. Some parts are very mellow and traditionally jazzy and out of nowhere the song just picks up speed and starts adding tradionally african sounds, creating the feeling that you're back in the 19th century, hearing the immigrants from Africa playing their instruments. Each song represents a strong black woman from history and the album has lyrics discussing black plight. Genre: Avant-garde jazz/ Experimental jazz

11. Earl Sweatshirt - Some Rap Songs It's been a really hard year for Earl. His dad died and he never managed to amend their relationship, which was the original plan for SRS. I was very used to the typical Earl sound from the early to mid 2010s, mellow beats with very dark lyrics, with him changing flows up and making the english language his bitch. Nope. This album showcased a completely new Earl, with beats you'd never think he'd use but when you listen to him, you still know it's Earl with his crazy rhyme patterns and disgusting wordplay. The album feels like an acid trip from start to finish and my favourite Odd Future member manages to open up about his inner demons once again, and once again doing it amazingly. Genre: Hip-hop

10. KIDS SEE GHOSTS - Kids see Ghosts Out of nowhere, Kanye and Kid Cudi dropped a collab project, part of Kanye's five-drop in May and June. I wasn't expecting much as Cudi had disappointed me with his last few projects and I didn't really feel Kanye's "ye" too much. I was wrong. This album was amazing. Two people struggling with mental illness and loving themselves came out with an album with a completely new concept to both of them, discussing self love and redeeming yourself, finding what you love again. The album has this inspired production, which sounds like nothing I've ever heard, best described as psychedelic hip-hop or even rock. Although only 10th on my list, you need to listen to this album, because it's absolutely remarkable. Genre: Psychedelic Hip-hop/ Psychedelic rock?

9. Playboi Carti - Die Lit A lesson in minimalism. People have been biting Carti's style the last couple of years, whilst at the same time he's been getting a lot of crap for his lack of lyricism and the simplicity in his music. Instead of listening to all of the haters, Playboi Carti came out with a project which I'd say nearly perfects his style and what he's so good at - he lets the production and beats shine, having very minimalist lyrics and employing a vibe and energy no other trapper could create. He also mocks the people hating on him on the album with lyrics such as "Bought my mom a house of that mumblin' shit", reminding everyone where he's exactly at. Genre: Trap

8. Rico Nasty - Nasty I swear people forgot about Rico Nasty this year, although she released one of the most energetic and aggressive trap projects and honestly, bodying anything Nicki or Cardi dropped, quality wise atleast. She completely embraces her "different" persona on this album, having songs titles like "Bitch I'm Nasty" and having lyrics such as "Goodness gracious, I might give a fuck on some occasion". The album is full of this angry energy, making you want to go and break a door, whilst at the same time having witty and even humorous lyrics which keep your attention. Keep an eye on this one. Genre: Trap

7. Anderson .Paak - Oxnard Honestly, not as good as Malibu or Venice for me, but considering how high it is in my list, I think you can figure out exactly how great Andy is. This album really rejuvenates the spirit of funky and soulful hip-hop, with Paak keeping his carefree persona. It's full of groovy energy which makes you want to just dance and let go, whilst at the same time having some very funny skits and powerful and even aggressive moments. Whilst in his previous projects he had a very laid-back vibe, in this one Anderson .Paak shows us he's made it, and pretty much throws the funk and blues in your face, making for a very energetic, but relaxing listen. Genre: Hip-hop/Jazz rap/RnB/Funk/Soul

6. SABA - CARE FOR ME A very emotional and deep project, the Chicago rapper finally got the attention he deserved with his 2nd album. The album is very detailed and melancholic, in it SABA discussing issues he has with himself, the lack of love he feels he receives and the need of warmth and someone beside him. The album has beautiful singy-song moments, including a song with BJ the Chicago kid, but whilst pretty, these moments are also very dark and disturbing, as SABA often slurs his speech in them. He also discusses some of his childhood memories on the project, showcasing the hardships of growing up in a city like Chicago and the roots of some of his deep trauma. Genre: Jazz rap/ Neo soul

5. Denzel Curry - TABOO/TA1300 Dark. Angry. Powerful. Beautiful. Scary. This album has everything. The rapper split the album into three parts, which although a very new concept, proved to be a genius one. The light part of the album, which he starts it off with, shows him working on his happiness and showing everyone that his life is good and he's achieving his dreams. The second part of the album, Grey, showcases him reflecting objectively on the people hating on him, the hardships and successes of his life and the reality of the industry. The album ends with the Dark part, in which Denzel shows all of his anger, metaphorically shouting at the listener about his drug issues, about the people trying to tell him what to do and wanting to even go as far as murder. Genre: Trap/Hip-hop

4. Jpegmafia - Veteran Daaaaamn Peggy. The nigga who gives no fucks about anyone's feelings got it right. Already receiving some attention for absurd songs like "I killed a cop, now I'm Horny" and "I'd vote 4 Dona Trump", Jpegmafia made an experimental hip-hop album, consisting of raw energy and aggresiveness in some parts, and mellow and thoughtful production in others. The album has absurd samples like ODB screaming, WWE's Edge's soundtrack and guns reloading. Peggy raps about topics from wanting a nigga to test him, wanting to hear Yes Julz moan, addressing the people telling him he sold out and and even saying he doesn't care that Neogaf is dead. It's a genius work of art exploring the twisted depths of an army veteran's mind. Genre: Experimental hip-hop

3. Noname - Room 25 One of the softest and most soulful hip-hop albums of recent times, Noname once again proves how genius her lyrics can be, whilst keeping a jazzy vibe. The album is full of small details, from the proudction to the poet's lines telling the story of her life, from the beautiful to the ugly. Although at some points you can call her rapping rambling, she does so in a very soft and feminine way, reeling you in to actually want to hear more of her story, instead of being annoyed she isn't stopping. Full of relaxing and mesmerizing hooks, this album really reminds of the good old-school jazz vibe, mixed with genius storytelling and lyrics and keeping a fresh and new vibe to it, very much reminding me of A Tribe Called Quest in some regards. Genre: Neo Soul/ Jazz-rap

2. Armand Hammer - Paraffin Honestly this was my album of the year until the last few weeks, when a certain other person decided to finally drop his project. Billy Woods and Elucid once again go into the dephts of being a working-class rapper, with very hard hitting production, which although minimalistic, projects a very scary and even tiring vibe a some points, portraying what it's like to live life in a regular way. Full meaningful lyrics, and having some some very memorable hooks like "You don't work, you don't eat", Paraffin is an artistic expression of how hard it is to be an artist, whilst being unable to make enough money off of your art. Genre: Experimental hip hop

My honorable mentions, which sadly didn't make the list but were amazing projects still: Jorja Smith - Lost & Found; Pusha T - Daytona; Amine - ONEPOINTFIVE; Hermit and the Recluse - Orpheus vs the Sirens; Rae Sremmund - SR3MM; Rejjie Snow - Dear Annie; Sheck Wes - MUDBOY

1. JID - DiCaprio 2 I've known JID was next up for a year and a half now. He proved it in his last album, he proved it in the XXL Freshman class and he proved it with DiCaprio 2. Having the swagger and a nasally voice of a young K-dot, whilst having his own style, an absurd ability to switch up and create flows on the go, wordplay and lyricism which could rival even Ab-Soul and one-liners that stick like glue, JID released arguably the best project this year, hitting a mark as much as projects like Section.80 for me personally. Full of amazing production, from aggressive and trappy beats, to boom-bap, to jazzy rap and even having moments in which he sings. The Atlanta rapper comletely murders every beat, outraps every feature, including guys like Joey Bada$$, J. Cole, Method Man and 6LACK and makes 2018 his own with a project which in my opinion, will age like fine wine and will be remembered as the moment a modern legend was born. Genre: Jazz-rap/Conscious rap/ Hip-hop

[jovialyouthmusic]

Together, Apart (Driam)

Part One

From the ‘Two’s Company, Three’s Allowed’ TRR AU in which Lucy is legally and happily married to both King Brad/Liam and Drake Walker. Not long ago I wrote a piece called the Kiss, in which Drake and Brad entertained Lucy - this takes things between the two men a little further. 

If you do not like Poly, or men being intimate with each other, pass this by...smutty AF, NOT suitable for under 18s. Not sure how to tag, so if you are tagged and don’t like it, please let me know and I’ll remove you from the list for Part 2

@ao719 @agent-bossypants @andy-loves-corgis @sleepwalkingelite @boneandfur @blackcatkita @brightpinkpeppercorn @choicescommunity @darley1101 @drakewalkerrosenberg @debramcg1106 @fluffy-marshmallow-heart @goirishsunshine @gardeningourmet @livingthroughchoices @likethetailofacomet @mrs-nazario @mind-reader1 @ooo-barff-ooo @silviasutton1989 @speedyoperarascalparty @zaffrenotes @missevabean @mrsdrakewalkerblog @cora-nova @missameliep @tanelle83 @endlessly-searching-for-you @jlouise88 @drakenazario @annekebbphotography @tabithacarlisle @furiousherringoperatortoad @notoriouscs @classylady1234 @wickedgypsymoon @carabeth @choices-fangirl @indiana-jr @indiacater @noey718-blog @sirbeepsalot @bobasheebaby @tornbetween2loves  @katedrakeohd

Together, apart

Part One

Brad tossed and turned in his empty bed, unable to get to sleep. It felt so empty without Lucy and – heck, without Drake too. He realised that he missed his second bedmate, although not for the same reason. Being King was lonely, even with a Queen to assist. Having someone else sleeping nearby was comforting.  Since he had married Lucy he had hated sleeping alone, but she was visiting Olivia and looking into the improvement of the Cordonian orphanage and setting up a youth training project.

Which meant that the two men were left rattling around the Manor at Valtoria, having cleared their own schedules just as Lucy’s had filled up. They had elected to remain in their own bedrooms, separated by a common study.

Brad got out of bed. It was a warm night but he put on a dressing gown to leave the room to go to Lucy’s suite. The rule was that they slept alone in their own beds, or joined Lucy in her big ‘king sized’ bed in her suite, either singly or together, as she wished. Drake also had a bolthole that he shared with Lucy, to make up for Brad having an entire palace to share with her – even though Drake retained the room he had made his own as a teenager.

He made his way to Lucy’s suite, wanting at least to inhale her faint scent from the bedclothes, hoping the staff had not changed the sheets just yet. He opened the door quietly – perhaps for an extra couple of seconds he could pretend she was there and he was trying not to wake her. He padded over to the bed and shrugged out of his dressing gown, letting it fall to the floor. One last moment of pretence, getting into the bed as quietly and softly as he could so that he could scoot over and take the pillow in his arms and inhale…

‘Aaaargh!’ an unearthly male scream split the air - there was movement in the bed, and the bedside lamp went on, blinding his night vision after creeping along the dark corridors. ‘What the fuck, man?’ Drake was sitting up, dishevelled, his hair a mess, bare chested and wide eyed.

‘Drake, what are you doing here?’ he cried, his heart thudding in his chest.

‘I could ask you the same question’ Drake panted ‘You scared the crap out of me’

‘Well me too!’ he protested ‘I wasn’t expecting you to be here’

‘Are you – naked?’ asked Drake

‘I have my boxers shorts on’ he admitted ‘And I wore my dressing gown - I wanted to be decent walking the corridors in the dark, just in case I bumped into the staff’ Drake scoffed

‘Brad, you are so uptight. I couldn’t care less what they see, as long as my ‘little soldier’ isn’t standing to attention’

‘Not so little’ Brad found himself saying, hand over his mouth as soon as the words left his lips. Drake grinned

‘I’ll take compliments wherever they come from, and you’re not so little yourself, your Highness’ Brad coloured and changed the subject.

‘I presume you were missing Lucy? He asked, and Drake nodded, rubbing the back of his neck

‘Yeah – great minds think alike I guess’

‘So what now? Is there a pecking order? Do I pull rank or do you claim residency?’ Brad asked. Drake lay back down on his side, elbow bent and head resting on his  palm.

‘Well I don’t see why either of us should give way’ He said ‘As long as you stick to your side, I don’t have a problem sharing a bed with you’ Brad thought about it for a few seconds

‘Well okay, I guess it could work. Perhaps we should put a pillow between us’ Drake laughed heartily

‘Hell Brad, we’ve managed not to freak out seeing each other in flagrante so far, I think I can cope with accidentally touching you while Lucy’s away.’ Brad shrugged, not entirely convinced but unwilling to admit to it.

‘Right. I’m a grown man and confident in my sexuality.’ He pressed his lips together and nodded ‘What could go wrong?’ Drake yawned and turned to the bedside table

‘Well I’m bushed. Can I turn the lamp out or do you need a nightlight?’ Brad rolled his eyes

‘I think I can cope with being in the dark with you’ he said ‘We’ve shared a tent before so how could this be different?’

‘Don’t overthink things Brad’ The light clicked off ‘Go to sleep’

Drake woke to the morning light creeping around the edges of the heavy curtains. He was about say good morning to Lucy, feeling a heavy arm lying across his chest as he lay on his side. A little too heavy. And…

‘Fuck Brad, get that thing out of my back!’ He struggled out from under Brad’s heavy limb, the events of the previous night coming back to him.

‘Wha? Drake – what…’ Brad struggled to open his eyes at the sudden violent movement next to him. He was curled around Drake’s naked body – they were spooning, and he was the big spoon. As usual, he had woken aroused, and Drake was struggling to escape the contact between them. Again he sat upright, hair on end, horror in his eyes.

‘I told you to stay on your side’ he ‘and I wake up to find I’m the fucking little spoon!’ Drake protested. Brad looked at him sleepily.

‘Whatever happened to ‘I won’t freak if we accidentally touch?’ he asked

‘That – that was not an accidental touch. That was deliberate – spooning – with a hard on’

‘I’m sorry Drake, I had no idea what I was doing’ Brad sat up and stretched ‘I guess I thought you were Lucy’ Drake slumped.

‘Hell, I miss her’ he said glumly ‘It’s not the same rubbing one out in the shower’

‘Tell me about it’ Brad replied. Drake looked thoughtful

‘What would you do if she was here?’ He asked

‘I’d not let this’ he pointed to his groin ‘go to waste.’

‘Likewise’ said Drake, looking down at his own lap.

‘Wait, you were freaking out trying to get away from my – arousal, and you still have a hard on?’ asked Brad.

‘Well yeah, he’s pretty much ready for action this time of day unless I’ve been hitting the whiskey hard’

‘So what do you do when she’s not here?’

‘Are you kidding me?’ asked Drake ‘How about you - do you just wait for yours to go away, or go take care of things?’ Brad shrugged, embarrassed.

‘A cold shower first thing does wonders for the constitution’ Drake shook his head.

‘Were you always this virtuous?’ he asked ‘So much self denial – why don’t you make hay while the sun shines? Don’t let a good hard on go to waste’

‘Drake, you’re an animal – and I say that with respect and affection’

‘Lucy doesn’t seem to mind’ Drake looked thoughtful ‘You know, we could be a bit more adventurous, do something she’d like’ Brad looked alarmed

‘Like what? I’m not kissing you again, not unless she’s here to see’

‘Nah, that didn’t appeal to me either, but maybe we could – you know, help each other out, and be ready to give Lucy a show when she gets back?’

‘Help…?’ Brad’s eyes widened, and Drake sat on the bed next to him, looking down into his lap.

‘You know I love you Brad – like a brother. It wouldn’t be weird, I’d just be helping you out, and maybe you could return the favour.’

‘I – Drake you’re scaring me’

‘You were just saying you were comfortable with your sexuality’

‘When I was thinking of sleeping next to you, no touching was mentioned’ Drake’s hand went to his own groin, and he bit his lip.

‘Don’t you love the way she smells in the morning? Like peaches and strawberries…’ Brad sighed, a faraway look in his eyes.

‘Her skin is so soft’ his hand strayed to his groin ‘And the little noises she makes when I kiss her’

‘She gets noisy when I – when we get going’ Drake added.

‘Her breasts are the exact shape and size to rest in my palms’ Drake reached over and softly touched Brad’s hand, stroking his fingers as they curled around his erection. He moved closer and brought his mouth to Brad’s ear.

‘I love it when she wraps her legs around my waist’ Brad sighed, and leant back onto the pillows. Drake followed, tickling his ear with his lips ‘she rides me like her life depends on it’ Brad’s eyes rolled back and his hand opened and fell away, leaving Drake to replace it with his own. ‘Her eyes go so dark when she’s horny’ Drake went on, his voice husky. His strong fingers wrapped around Brad’s length, gentle but firm, and Brad groaned. It felt so good, completely different to his own hand. He lay back and relaxed. It didn’t feel weird at all – he trusted Drake, and he didn’t have romantic feelings for him, it was just – an arrangement.

‘Don’t you love it when she rides you?’ Drake went on, his hand moving slowly ‘Looking down at you, her hair loose, her breasts…’ he sighed ‘I can never get enough of her’

‘Don’t stop’ said Brad, his voice breaking ‘tell me what you like best’ Drake grinned and reached for the bedside table with his free hand , getting a tube of lube. He applied some to the hand holding Brad’s member and he continued.

‘I love tasting her, love exploring her with my tongue.’ He spoke slowly, languorously ‘When I put my fingers inside her, she feels like velvet. I love seeing you fuck her’ he watched as Brad’s eyes closed and he licked his lips ‘I love holding her and watching her come. Your dick or mine, it’s incredible.’ Brad’s breathing was becoming ragged and Drake’s hand moved faster. ‘You’re thicker than me, I love watching you stretch her.’ Brad’s hips moved to drive the rhythm and speed and a bead of precum escaped the tip of his throbbing member.

‘Have you ever fucked her against a wall?’ Drake asked, and Brad shuddered, nodding ‘Did she say your name? Did she scream it?’ His voice became firmer, louder.

‘Yes’ moaned Brad ‘Oh god yes’

‘How about in the shower, Brad? I love to fuck her in the shower, watch the water running over her body, feel how slippery she is, feel my dick sinking into her.’ Brad arched his back and shuddered.

‘Drake – Drake, don’t stop’ he said hoarsely ‘Lucy – oh god, Lucy!’ and Drake watched as Brad erupted, his thick white cum jetting out,  arcing high and falling on his belly and chest. Drake watched him intently and his hand slowed and his grip lightened. Brad lay panting and gasping, and Drake smiled at him, then went to get a cloth from the bathroom.

‘I – well I didn’t expect that this morning’ Brad said as Drake cleaned him up. He looked at Drake’s painfully obvious hard on. ‘I’m not sure I could…’

‘You don’t have to do the same. If you’re not comfortable, I can go in the shower alone’ Brad shook his head

‘No, it’s okay, I owe you – what would you like me to do?’ Drake smirked

‘How do you feel about a blow job? You don’t have to describe what you’d like to do to Lucy then, if that’s what’s bothering you.’ Brad felt odd. If he was honest with himself, he’d always been a little curious about it, though it was not something he would admit to – until now. Something had shifted between them and they had broken a barrier. Lucy would be pleased, he knew that.

‘Okay’ he said ‘I’ll give it a go’ Drake looked surprised

‘Really?’

‘Yes, I think – I think something just changed. I don’t think I’ll be calling out your name when I come, but I’m more comfortable going further’

Part two to come...

[bjro233]

The Life of a Gay Man and His Need To Prove It

#1 The “Gay Gene”

               Although it has only been found in males, a linkage to males and homosexuality has been discovered by Dean Hamer and colleagues. On X chromosomes there is an unidentified gene that these scientists have named Xq28, which they relate directly to homosexuality. It’s a very controversial theory but ultimately purposes so many answers.            

#2 Evidence is Mounting for Homosexual Men

               “In 1993, genetic variations in a region on the X chromosome in men were linked to whether they were heterosexual or homosexual, and in 1995, a region on chromosome 8 was identified.” says Andy Coghlan from thenewscientist.com. This just proves that no, gay men don’t just wake up one morning and say “Hey, I wanna try dick today.”

#3 The Third Gender: Muxes

              In southern Mexico, the Zapotec people recognize a third gender called Muxes. In our culture, they would be known as homosexual people and transgendered people. This just makes me realize that some cultures, although so old, are so ahead of their time, open-minded, and progressive. Another reason to yell @ Donald Trump, don’t build the damn wall.  

  #4 We Are Not Alone

              Listen, science isn’t the only thing that proves this theory. Look at our environment and what isn’t directly affected by or altered by humans. “Homosexual behaviour is a natural biological feature and is common among non-human animals. In at least one species – sheep – individual animals have been known to form lasting preferences for same-sex partners.” says Australias Science Channel. Fun Fact: the oldest living tortoise who was thought to be female but was actually male only mated with males. Thus showing why no babies were being born.

#5 Should We Care About Giving Reason To Being Gay?

                Of course, being gay myself, you’re faced with a lot of harassment, questioning, judgment, and bigotry. Religion really attacks you, and you’re forced to feel like an outcast and forced into a stereotype. So, given the chance and these scientific findings, it can help explain to people who don’t believe/understand. It normalizes sexuality, it lowers being/feeling like a minority. “It adds yet more evidence that sexual orientation is not a ‘lifestyle choice’. But the real significance is that it takes us one step closer to understanding the origins of one of the most fascinating and important features of human beings.” says Dean Hammer from newscientist.com.

#6 Being A Watermelon in A Sea Full of Cacti

                      One word: Grindr. If you’re a gay male, you either gagged or hid your face in shamefulness for using the app. My need to prove myself starts here, it completely drains lives of romance and relationship oriented people. It sends a message that all gay men are they same, they’re horny and only want to bone. “The mental health professionals I spoke to are seeing problematic Grindr use in their clinics. And there is little published guidance on how to help those who are struggling.” says Jack Turban with Vox.com. This app is notorious for only being used to have sex, and it’s showing and obviously causing detrimental effects on gay men.

#7 Breaking Stereotypes One Straight @ A Time

                    Growing up, I only had girlfriends. Instead of playing basketball or throwing a football at recess, after school, in college, etc... I jumped rope. I learned how to french braid, I sang and danced. I yearned for the male on male friendship, or bromance you may say. I never got it because theres a stereotype, “I don’t have a problem with gay guys, but if he hits on me its game over.” Now, I can say once straight cis men give me a shot, they realize the stupidity behind it. I always here, “I’m not gay, but you’re one of the coolest dudes.” which isn’t ideal, but it’s progress.                    

#8 Trouble in the Workplace

                     When I bring up LGBTQ issues to acquaintances, a lot of the times i’m faced with “I don’t think gay people have a lot of issues nowadays”. But we dont, thats why I feel its so important for me to prove myself, my life, and what comes along with it. The facts, the struggles, the ugly truth. “59% said that where they live, they are less likely to be afforded employment opportunities because they are part of the LGBTQ community. One in five stated that they have had difficulty when applying for positions.” says victoryinstitute.net

#9 Let’s Prove Stats Wrong!

               Statistics can be demeaning, not all the time are they helpful or good. Sadly, for the LGBTQ+ community, the stats are disheartening. For example, LGBTQ people are 5X as likely to commit suicide than heterosexual people says thetrevorproject.org. 77% of LGBTQ youth reported are depressed, have anxiety, and/or have feelings of worthlessness says hrc.org. So, to all the heterosexual people out there wondering where their “Straight month” or “Straight parade is”, you have it, 11 months out of the year because you dont have struggles like that.

#10 Trans People are Simply, People.

                  Working with white, privileged, conservative, middle-to-upper class women, i’m forced to hear a lot of what they believe and how they think and what political decision they have recently made. Now and then, obvious and not so obvious transgendered women come into the store to shop and they outwardly treat them different or question the “real gender” of the person. I ask myself why whatever is under their clothes matter so much to them. When I tell them they are a woman, and that’s all they are, they are confused and partly agitated because I didn’t give them the answer they wanted to hear. Saddening fact? In a national study, 40% of transgender adults reported having made a suicide attempt. 92% of these individuals reported having attempted suicide before the age of 25 says thetrevorproject.org. Maybe if we stop making people feel so different, and start working toward progression instead of sticking our nose where it doesnt belong, we could actually get somewhere. Proving myself, to help the Trans community.

#11 “Gay People Can’t Naturally Reproduce”

                          I want a family, I want someone to call my husband. My son or daughter, my family. I need that in my life weather it is “natural” or not. People are so pressed about the natural way of things, but they can’t see that a majority of LGBTQ people who don’t reproduce via a man and a woman, help reduce the amount of foster children.14,000 foster children are being raised by Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual foster parents says Movement Advanced Project. Just because I am a man, married to a man, with our own children doesn’t make us any less capable for raising a family. 

#12 LG(B)TQ+

                Another group of people that are drastically hated on for being themselves. Human beings can’t grasp that someone may actually be more concerned about someones personality rather than their sexual organs. According to 2013 research by the University of Pittsburgh, 15% of people did not categorize bisexuality as a legitimate sexuality, with straight men being three times as likely to think it's "not a thing." People looking at you and just thinking you’re fake or just too horny. It’s pathetic, hence another reason to prove myself, my sexuality, for the other groups in my community.

#13 You Can Be Cured With Some Treatment & Religion - Mackelmore

                     Ever since before me, for a very long time, we were taught that there are conversion treatments, that being gay was a mental disability, a deformity. There were actually shock therapy treatments and conversion camps for LGBTQ+ people, people were killed in the midst of these treatments. But heres, *tap tap* the mutha f*ucking, *tap tap* TEA! American Psychological Association undertook a thorough review of the existing research on the efficacy of conversion therapy and their report noted that there was very little  research on sexual orientation change efforts (SOCEs) and that the "results of scientifically valid research indicate that it is unlikely that individuals will be able to reduce same-sex attractions or increase other-sex sexual attractions through SOCE." says hrc.com. Today there are still states that legalize this method!! Stop this!!

#14 The Importance of PRIDE

                   This isn’t just a time for LGBTQ+ people and allies to strut down the street in cute colorful clothing. This parade we participate in is a lesson, its teaching others about what we’re trying to do. Policies, laws, and other arguments we want and need heard. During the 2000s, battles at local, state, and national levels were being fought for marriage equality. Pride parades were utilized to educate the public, generate support, and encourage lawmakers to vote in favor of LGBT rights says thegayfamilylawmaker.com. We need to educate people on the education pride parades actually do. If it wasn’t for these parades, we wouldn’t have made the progress we have today. 

#15 The Audacity!?

                 My need to prove myself may be... borderline pathetic. HOWEVER, it’s so important and necessary in today’s society. The fact that just in 1982, it was okay to openly discriminate against LGBTQ people. IN 1996, it was BANNED to marry unless it was between a man and a women. Only in 2011 was “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” finally repealed. This may sound like good news... but then BAM! THIS YEAR, President Trump banned Transgender people from being in the military.(CNN.com) Every time we feel like we’re ahead, we get knocked back down a few steps. This is why it is important, this is why it is necessary, this is why i’m doing it. 

REFERENCES

https://australiascience.tv/science-of-sexuality/

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/cross-cultural-evidence-for-the-genetics-of-homosexuality/

https://www.newscientist.com/article/2155810-what-do-the-new-gay-genes-tell-us-about-sexual-orientation/

https://www.sciencenews.org/article/genetics-dna-homosexuality-gay-orientation-attractiveness-straight

https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2018/10/giant-study-links-dna-variants-same-sex-behavior

https://www.cnn.com/2015/06/19/us/lgbt-rights-milestones-fast-facts/index.html

https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2018/4/4/17177058/grindr-gay-men-mental-health-psychiatrist

https://victoryinstitute.org/issue-at-a-glance-lgbtq-employment-discrimination/

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/preventing-suicide/facts-about-suicide/#sm.00001tfv8n5yekdvsq5f6al6h6i7u

https://www.hrc.org/resources/2018-lgbtq-youth-report

https://justlists.wordpress.com/2012/01/18/familyequality/

[miss-m-and-her-blog]

He’s My Girl (Chapter 6)

TITLE OF STORY: He’s My Girl

CHAPTER: 6

AUTHOR: miss-m-and-her-blog

WHICH TOM/CHARACTER: AU Actor!Tom

GENRE: Romance, Action, Drama

FIC SUMMARY: He’s a guy, she’s a boy in disguise. He’s an actor, she’s a stuntman or -woman. How can it ever work when the famous Tom Hiddleston stars in an action film, with Charlie or Charlene as his stunt choreographer

RATING: T

WARNINGS/TRIGGERS/AUTHORS NOTES: Again, there would be swear words. But the readers will see interactions between Tom, Charlie, Ian, Paula, Gwen, and Julian :D I also had a part where Ian speaks Spanish

FEEDBACK/COMMENTS: Only thanks and love for the readers for their likes and reblogs that they gave the past chapters ^_^ Lovelots, dearies ^_^

A week later...

As early as  9 o’clock in the morning, the training quarters were already filled with people on a warm-up routine for the stunt training. Al headed the warm-up while all of the actors and stunt performers involved in action sequences, lined up row by row doing the exercises.

Tom stood at the back; he and Julian had Charlie in the middle of them.

“And now for the leg stretches…” Al spoke up over the gym and he lunged in so that his calves would be stretched.

All of them followed, but at the second row of the file, Ian was looking back at Charlie. At that time, Charlie has no idea that Ian was looking at him, but Tom caught Ian’s glimpse.

They both looked at each other, but even when Al had moved on to another stretching position Ian was still trying to get a glimpse of Charlie.

Tom somehow cockblocked the way Ian was looking out on Charlie. Ian almost glared back at Tom for cockblocking, but Tom shot a sharp look back at him.

Ian then turned his head forward, but also rolling his eyes at Tom.

“Prick.” Tom said under his breath.

“What?” Charlie asked him.

“Nothing.” Tom only replied as he followed also the new position that Al did.

After the last exercise, they all dispersed and went to each assigned teams. Some were assigned to the fighting choreography, while the others were on the tactical stunts. Al as the head stunt choreographer, he is in charge of each teams.

But he also trains Ian, and the reason why is that Ian and Tom's fighting style needed to be different in the film for the sake of the script and plot.

Meanwhile, Charlie was trying to blend in and also evade Dodong who was assigned in the fighting choreography team.  His Auntie Baby had told him that Dodong kept calling at home asking about her.

Charlie have responded to him in a personal text one time that he works for another studio as a production assistant but that was the last thing that he told Dodong. He can only hope that Dodong won't recognize him when they're finally face to face.

Tom and Julian on that time were having a conversation on how to execute some stunts, as Charlie is also training Julian because he is Tom's body double.

In the middle of their conversation, Ian came prancing around and he was directed for Charlie.

"Gentlemen, and Charlie Go, my man!" Ian went on to give Charlie a high-five to which Charlie responded also with a laugh.

"So, is this two giving you a hard time training them?" Ian then placed an arm around Charlie who was very surprised by that move.

"Uh... Not really." Charlie shyly replied as he can feel Ian's abs while he was being held so close to Ian's body.

Tom then narrowed his eyes, and at that time Julian noticed that Tom is projecting a Loki-ish vibe.

"Charlie is actually a good trainer. If you think we're giving him a hard time, you wouldn't even know, because your trainer is Al, isn't it?" He almost sneered but he kept it cool.

Tom's English accent was so menacing yet seducing that Charlie couldn't help but stare longer at Tom than he has permitted himself.

In the middle of it, Julian threw a look of confusion from his left to right. He didn't knew that there is a subtle rivalry going on between Tom and Ian.

Ian only gave out a Pfft and he finally let go of Charlie.

"And so it is. See you later at lunch, Charlie." Ian whispered the last part into Charlie's ear to which he only froze from where he is standing.

Ian went to Al to start his training for the day, and to not make it awkward, Charlie excused himself,

"I'll get the target pads then we'll start right after." He pointed out and then he carefully walked away.

Julian faced Tom, "What was that with Ian? Are you hating on him on purpose?"

Tom still has the malevolent look on his face when he replied, "I don't like the way he flirts with Charlie. Paula already warned me about Ian and that he's pretty much a horny bastard."

Julian's brow raised, "So what?"

Tom finally loose the Loki look and said, "So what? Look at Charlie--he looks so innocent. And Ian will just corrupt him or whatever when he finally gets him."

Julian snickered, "Tom, please. We don't even know if Charlie's also into girls or guys, for that matter; maybe you're just overreacting with Paula's warning? Maybe the two of them can be just friends?"

Still not giving up from the argument, Tom crossed his arms on his chest and chewed his thin lips with contempt.

"Why are you even being so protective of Charlie all of a sudden?" Julian asked.

Tom didn't get to speak for a few seconds. Maybe he's just protective of Charlie because he can see that he's a gentle soul, and he's also kind though very quiet sometimes.

"I'm just concerned, that's all. And he's only 19, for fuck's sake." Tom explained.

"I see. If you want to play the big brother role, that's fine. But you don't get to judge who Charlie dates or who he doesn't." Julian declared the last statement of their argument.

"Now here comes your boy." Julian tapped his chest when Charlie came around.

Charlie arranged a mat beside them as he is going to teach them some kicking techniques and slamming the opponent.

For the time they started the routine, Tom had still an internal argument going on in his mind--he also wonders why he is protective of Charlie.

You're just concerned that's all. Tom calmly pondered.

In his view, there was nothing wrong with being concerned for someone he is acquainted with. And that's the idea that Tom would like to believe in.

It was already 11:30 am and Al had called out a lunch break for all of the actors and stuntmen.

As expected, Ian had already nabbed Charlie away into the cafeteria where a buffet will be served. Ian was not letting Tom be a cockblock again.  He even thought to himself what was Tom's deal. Then he remembered that he's dating Paula Weissman; whom he was linked to, while filming the period drama film that he had done last year.

Ian didn't really dated Paula or anything--as his memory serves him right, they were just really friends at first, but Paula assumed that he had feelings for her. She wasn't really just his type and maybe she had just underlined his name with a red marker on her list of names for people she hates.

The thought of Paula looking like Regina George made him quietly chuckle.

Charlie noticed this, "What's so funny?"

Then Ian spoke, with another answer in mind, "Nothing. I just kidnapped you from your English nanny."

"What?" Charlie cocked her head to the side, confused.

"He was being a dick, and I know you saw that." Ian pointed out.

Ian kept an arm around Charlie's shoulder as they walked side by side on their way to the cafeteria. Ian started, "You know, I thought before that Tom's quite fine. He's hot and he's British. He was my type, but then again, he's just another asshole in the show business."

Now Charlie's brows furrowed, "What? He's your type?"

Ian giggled at Charlie, but then he saw that Charlie is actually clueless of his gender. "Yeah. Well, I thought you knew that I'm..." Ian trailed off as he slowly removed his arm from Charlie's shoulder.

"You're what?" Charlie pushed to get to the final answer.

"I'm Bi--Bisexual. I like girls and I like boys."

Charlie as Charlene knew a variety of people and their personality from the past years of her life. She had gay friends and also lesbian friends; even her closest cousin is gay. But there was still a soft shock to her now that she finally can put it down that her conclusion about Ian is true--he is hitting on her but Ian likes Charlie-- not Charlene.

Charlie only nodded first, understanding him, but he had to ask Ian so it wouldn't look like he just assumed that Ian is into him.

"That's good. So, I'm just wondering, and I may sound rude or assuming--" then Ian cut him off, "If I like you?" Ian narrowed his eyes on Charlie, and he felt like a helpless prey from Ian's enticingly predatory look.

"Y-Yeah... Something like that." Charlie stammered.

Ian's chocolate-brown eyes now beheld him instead of stabbing him with a mean look, and there was a sincere tight-lipped smile that appeared on his face.

He placed his hands on Charlie's elbows and slowly pulled him close, "I know that I'm too obvious, and I'm not the one to hide my desires. But I do have a crush on you, Charlie."

As if Charlie got poured on a bucket of cold water from his head; he felt something like a cold shiver run up his spine, but then was replaced with a burn that blazed off his cheeks.

Deep inside, Charlie was trying to process the confession he just heard from Ian. Would he decide about this as Charlie Go or as Charlene Lee?

Ian booped his cheek, as Charlie had gone so quiet afterwards.

"Hey. Tell me something--anything. Just don't be silent, like that." He flashed Charlie his puppy-dog eyes and fiddled with Charlie's fingers

Finally, Charlie finally got to speak, "I-I just... I never had someone tell me that they have a crush on me."

"Or maybe this is the first time that a man had told you this kind of confession?"

Charlie looked away for a while, thinking that it is really his first time having a situation like this. But he felt worried--Ian doesn't have a crush on Charlene, but with Charlie, an identity created to get even with the asshole Andy Lockley is.

"Well, yes. I guess so." He mumbled as a reply.

"How about girls? I bet you've had a lot of confessions from girls, didn't you?" Ian teased Charlie.

Charlie tilted his head from side to side, feeling anxious, "Well... More or less."

"I hope that this doesn't change anything. Are we still friends?" Ian's voice seemed to chime and his smile was wide and bright.

Charlie nodded, "Friends."

Ian gave out a sigh as he beamed down on Charlie. But deep inside, Charlie felt trapped.

His male identity is already having more from what he bargained for. But somehow, he also thought of Tom.  He would be leading Ian on if he kept Tom the muse of his heart.

As they approached the cafeteria, Charlie finally thought; maybe he can give Ian the romantic attention, and so he could take his mind away from Tom. At least, he doesn't have to worry about a moment when he'll be caught staring longingly at Tom.

Maybe that's what's best for now.

He almost forgot that they have entered the cafeteria and that Ian opened the door for him. But he was lost in his thoughts that he almost didn't noticed this.

Maybe there's nothing wrong if I returned the crush he is having for me. I like Ian, too. He may be too coquettish sometimes, but he's fun to be with. Charlie pondered.

Ian then lead him to the queue for the buffet only intended for the actors and other execs. Charlie almost didn’t noticed this and he was going to pull himself out of the line.

However, Ian already placed his long arms at Charlie and kept him locked in it to make him fall on line.

"Ian, no! I don't get to fall in line here!" Charlie tried to get away but Ian only kept him close.

"No, I got you, Charlie. Hey, Tino!" Ian then called out the chef behind the buffet table who came out and shook hands with Ian.

"Ah, mi muchacho! Que tu quiero por la almuerzo?" Tino asked Ian.

"Es depende. Aqui es mi amigo, Charlie Go. Darle todo lo que le guste." Ian tapped Charlie's shoulder.

"Muy bien." Tino obliged happily.

Charlie only stood there, and he was amazed with the way Ian spoke Spanish.

"You're in." He winked at Charlie.

Charlie didn't get to speak back, but Ian followed up saying, "I grew up in a Bilingual home. Maybe that's why I ended up being Bisexual, too." Ian joked and that made Charlie snort then cover half of his face.

Ian and Charlie kept their banter all the while they were waiting in line. Charlie faced Ian at that time and that when they finally approached the table, filled with breakfast foods of different sorts, he didn't realized that he bumped to another person. Charlie immediately apologized but he was met with the glare of his baby-blue eyes.

There Charlie realized, it was none other than Tom himself.

Tom loosened his glare when he finally saw that it was Charlie who bumped into him that he almost spilled the soup at the next person in front of him.

"Charlie! What are you doing here?" Tom asked this because it would be unusual to see him falling in line for the buffet, but not because he wanted Charlie to get off the line.

But Ian mistook the latter meaning and protectively stood beside Charlie, "He's with me."

In that moment, Tom paused and he had a stare-down with Ian. Tom wanted to say something but he realized not to bother with it.

He left the queue but Charlie felt like he was in the middle of two boulders, being squeezed in so tight in the middle.

Fine. Charlie likes the bad company. Maybe I ought not warn him about anything, then. Tom's thoughts felt like it was pounding his head.

But there was a faint nagging feeling up inside him whenever he sees Ian together with Charlie. Tom tried to shake it all off and went to their table.

He sat next to Paula who had just her wardrobe fitting this morning; while Julian and Gwen sat side by side, to which the former ate very slowly as possible to savor the moment being close to his crush.

"Oh, look at that, Ian's pampering his target." Paula sarcastically remarked.

But Gwen, she looked like a strawberry because of her freckled cheeks blushing at the sight of Charlie. Julian immediately noticed this as he traced Gwen's line of sight, and he couldn't well believe what he was witnessing.

"I couldn't care less about them, hon." Tom tried not to sound bitter.

Paula shrugged and went on to eat her low-calorie salad. She then noticed Gwen following Charlie with her eyes.

Paula then gently stomped on Gwen’s foot under the table to get her attention. "Not too much, dear, you'll melt him." Then she winked at Gwen.

But Paula was thinking, That fucker is ruining Gwen’s chances with Charlie.

The main reason why Paula dislikes Ian this way is because of his arrogance that got them entangled in some kind of dating rumors last year. She only wanted to be friends with him because at that time she thought Ian was cool. And she wouldn’t dare cheat on her rockstar boyfriend at that time when she was still head over heels for him.

She observed the pair of Charlie and Ian sit together just a few rows away from them.

I need to make a move to get Charlie notice Gwen. and Paula was determined to help out Gwen with her crush on Charlie.

During lunch, Julian wanted to talk to Gwen but she was somehow distracted.

Tom caught Julian’s gaze and urged him to go and speak out with a nod. But, Julian could only furrow his brows and nervously glance Gwen’s way.

If there was someone watching them, it would look like they are telepathically communicating. Because the two men are so close together, they already understood even the movement of their brows to know what the other means.

Julian shrugged and thought, Here goes nothing.

Before speaking, Julian cleared his throat,

“So, Gwen... I heard that you paint.” Julian’s voice honeyed and that’s why he was met with an eye roll before she replied.

“I do still-life. I also like landscapes using watercolor. Doodles.” She disinterestedly replied.

“Wow, you are a work of art.” Julian gave his shot in giving off that pun, but Gwen instinctively dropped her fork down and sighed.

Tom could only cringed but Paula almost giggled. All of them witnessed, and it is now known as a fact; that Julian is not good in flirting.

Gwen didn’t spoke again as she looked back to where Charlie was sitting.

Her mad crush for Charlie only began when she first saw him audition for the stunt team. And ever since, she’d promised to herself to never take her eyes off of Charlie whenever she has the chance to see him.

But she can’t help feel hopeless as Ian is already making a move on Charlie.

And here I am, two or three steps losing. Gwen thought.

When she met Paula’s eyes, she was smiling and felt like there’s some shenanigans that she wanted to share with Gwen. Gwen knows Paula too well when she’s hatching a plan, and it all confirms it when she gave Gwen a wink.

Paula was sure she’d help Gwen get closer to Charlie, and maybe get even with Ian too.

----

Ian and Charlie left their table and went outside the cafeteria to go back to the gym. When they finally got out, Ian noticed that his phone was not on his pocket.

“Shit. I have to go back, I think I left my phone inside. I hope it’s still there.”

“Oh no. I’ll wait for you here.” Charlie replied.

Ian had gone inside and Charlie could only stand outside and wait. After a few moments, he heard someone call him out.

“Charlie? Charlie Go?” A woman called him out and he turned to see who it was.

He had to keep his face straight when he saw Paula standing behind him, along with another woman (Gwen) that he doesn’t know yet. Charlie was taken once again to his memory when he first met Paula as Charlene.

The memory of Paula’s beautiful and angry face had been indelibly printed into his brain that he felt his chin wobble for a moment. But this time, Paula is wearing her best and brightest smile that made her look like a blonde angel sent from heaven.

She and her companion approached Charlie and he also tried to smile and pretend that he has not met Paula ever.

“Hi there. I don’t think we’ve met?” He calmly replied.

Paula lightly chuckled and was now standing in front of Charlie.

“Tom, my boyfriend, had told me that you are his trainer.” She explained.

All the while Paula was talking, Charlie couldn’t help but be mesmerized by Paula’s beauty. She was far from the image that Charlie had remembered in his mind; an insolent and haughty woman. But when she mentioned who is Tom to her, Charlie felt insecure.

She is Tom’s girlfriend. Wow. He has high standards--and as if I would be able to reach that now I’m disguised as a guy. He pitifully thought.

“Oh. That’s how you’ve come to know me.” Charlie replied, masking his thoughts off with a jolly tone.

“Yes, and I’ve been wanting to talk to you ever since your training with Tom started.” Paula then flashed Charlie her a pleading look with her blue eyes.

“You wanted to talk to me?” Charlie couldn’t well believe it but he was curious as to why.

“Well, you know Tom that is really important to me. And I hope that you go easy on him on training, because sometimes it just breaks my heart when he comes back to me with a bruise or some sore muscle.” Paula sounded like a parent who treats her child with utmost care.

Charlie didn’t know how to answer that, and so he crossed his arms on his chest and said, “I can’t guarantee that he won’t have a sore muscle every now and then, and of course, some bruises can’t be avoided because he’s doing Taekwondo and Capoiera.”

For a while, Paula’s superficial smile faded into a tight-lipped smile. But she spoke again and took Charlie’s arm and she slowly lead him back to the girl she was with,

“Aww. Too bad. So they can’t really be avoided, huh? Well, I’m just concerned that’s all. I’m very well protective of people I really adore and love.” She gently remarked.

Protective? Or Clingy?  Charlie thought.

Before he could say anything else, Paula had lead him to the girl and he had a feeling that Paula intended this to happen.

“Anyways, all I can say to Tom is that he should also take care in training,” she paused, “By the way, have you met my assistant? This is Gwen Johnston.” then Paula took off her arm from Charlie and placed him in front of Gwen who had been blushing again.

In all seriousness, Charlie was clueless as to why Paula is introducing him to her assistant, so to look casual, he reached out to shake her hand.

“I’m Charlie Go. How do you do?” Charlie then smiled.

If only Charlie knew, Gwen’s inner self was jumping around with joy when she saw his charming boyish smile.“I’m fine. I guess, we might be seeing each other for the next few months?”

“I think so. I’m just curious, do you dye your hair red?” Charlie pointed out.

Gwen carefully tucked her hair behind her ear, “No. I’m really just a ginger.”

“Oh. That’s cool.” But actually, Charlie just like the shade of her red hair because as Charlene, he have always wanted to dye his hair red but didn’t got the chance.

As the two of them talked, Paula knew that her match-making conquest is finally bearing fruit. But behind that scene, Julian was observing them. He had made Tom go without him back to the gym when he saw that Paula and Gwen are talking to Charlie.

And his assumptions were right, Gwen does have a crush on Charlie and Paula is helping to have them get together.

I won’t accept that short-ass man as a rival to Gwen’s heart. There can only be one man in her life. And that would be me--Julian Felix Tanner. Julian thought as he made his fist into a tight ball.

But then he muttered under his breath, “But I need to flirt better.”

And Julian could only sigh and drop his shoulders. There, he decided to get back to the gym also before he could be drowned with hopelessness and jealousy.

Ian had finally found his phone and he came back only to see Paula and Gwen talking to Charlie. He came in to the scene as soon as possible with a loud entrance,

“Well, look what we have here! Our famous It-Girl, Ms. Paula Weissman.” He flamboyantly declared then he proceeded to place his arm over Charlie’s shoulder.

“Fuck off, Ian.” Paula narrowed her eyes at Ian.

“Wow, it’s just 1 o’clock, no need to be a sourpuss.” He joked but Paula was only glaring at him, but both Gwen and Charlie were just dumbfounded with these exchanges of insults.

“Excuse us, girls, this fit piece of perfect specimen and I needed to be getting back to training.” Ian took Charlie away and they started walking back to the direction of the training quarters.

Paula only crossed her arms on her chest and narrowed her eyes.

“Fucking asshole. Come on, Gwen!” Paula barked at Gwen who was still smiling at the thought of Charlie.

[mchenryjd]

2017 in Review

Necessarily incomplete, mostly for my personal record. I will probably regret this.

MOVIES

10.  mother!

Got to a screening late, had to sit in the third show, could barely tell what was happening and spent most of the movie staring at J. Law’s flared nostrils. An ideal viewing experience.

9.     Personal Shopper

Nothing captures the purposeful emptiness of spending time online like Kristen Stewart texting a ghost.

8.     Get Out

I kept telling my dad this movie was funny to get him to see it, not realizing he didn’t already know it was a horror movie. Afterwards, he texted me, “that was not a comedy!” Feels like that’s enough a metaphor. Daniel Kaluuya for best actor.

7.     Star Wars: The Last Jedi

A Star Wars movie about loving Star Wars movies, which means loving the epic, silly struggle between good and epic, loving the spiral staircase that is John Williams’s force theme, loving it when character always do the coolest possible thing followed by the next coolest possible thing, loving dumb furry creatures and sarcastic slimy ones, loving it when characters kiss when you want them to kiss, loving the hundred-million-dollar sandbox of it all. After the constricted dance steps of The Force Awakens and Rogue One, give me this bleeding freestyle any day.

6.     Phantom Thread

Finally, proof that everyone in a serious relationship has lost it.

5.     Call Me By Your Name

I refuse to believe that being stuck in rural Italy would be anything other than deadly boring and if my father insisted on turning everything into a lecture on classical art, I would run away. Also, there’s a contrast between the book (vague on the details of place and time, vividly specific on matters of sex) and the film (more contextually specific, sexier, but less horny than the original). Also, who am I kidding, I was moved and unsettled by the force of the thing. *Michael Stuhlbarg voice* Pray you get a chance to fall in love like this.

4.     Dunkirk

Having your tense, churning, clanking, thrumming, score transform into Elgar right when the beautiful, imperiled young heroes are reading a stirring speech (and Tom Hardy is heroically sacrificing himself in what looks like the middle of a Turner painting) is a level of craft so deft if feels like cheating, but it works.

3.     BPM

A film about a community in danger that acts as both a memorial to and rallying cry for that community. Uncompromising, accommodating, queer in the best way, BPM makes you want to cry and go dancing at the same time.

2.     Columbus

The kind of movie that makes you want to get in a car and keep driving until you find something beautiful, it has stuck and expanded in my memory ever since I saw it over the summer. Like the architecture that looms large in the setting, the plot can feel uncomfortably schematic – John Cho wants to leave and gets  stuck, Haley Lu Richardson is stuck and gets to leave. The question is how people live within, and blur the edges of, those confines. John Cho has a winning, curdled decency; Haley Lu Richardson gives the hardest kind of performance, in that she often seems unaware of her character’s own wants. I’d watch her quietly assemble dinner for hours on end.

1.     Lady Bird  

A movie that feels less plotted and more prefigured – every fight between Lady Bird has happened before, every high school landmark lumbers by with inevitability, every boy disappoints in the way you expect. What redeems all this? Paying attention, which is also love, in this movie’s pseudo-religious sense. Between Lady Bird and Marion, between Lady Bird and Julie, between Lady Bird and Sacramento. Watch people closely, as Greta Gerwig does, and they reveal glimmers of themselves (I know so little, and yet everything, about Stephen McKinley Henderson’s drama teacher from a few moments that feel perfect, in the sense of contained, past-tense completeness). It’ll all so ordinary. Fall in love with it.

Honorable mentions: Regina Hall’s speech about friendship in Girls Trip, Sally Hawkins tracing a droplet with her finger in The Shape of Water, Meryl Streep on the phone in The Post, Cara Delevingne in Valerian, Rihanna in Valerian, the part where the ghost jumped off the building in A Ghost Story, the fact that Power Rangers was surprisingly good, the soldier who gasps as Diana whips out her hair in the trenches in Wonder Woman, Ansel Elgort’s jacket in Baby Driver, whenever anyone tried to explain anything in Alien: Covenant, Elisabeth Moss in The Square, Anh Seo-hyun feeding Okja in Okja, Lois Smith being in movies, the kids eating ice cream in The Florida Project, the Game of Thrones joke in Logan Lucky, Vella Lovell in The Big Sick, and finally, most preciously, the moment in Home Again where Reese Witherspoon kissed Michael Sheen and someone in my theater shouted “she’s not feeling it!”

TELEVISION

10.  The Good Doctor

Listen, he’s a good doctor.

9.     Riverdale

They’re hot. They’re angsty. They do drugs that look like Pixy-Stix. They never seem to do homework. They love to hook-up in weird locations. They have terrible taste in karaoke songs. They love hair dye, and a well-defined eyebrow. They have really hot parents. They’re TV teens! I love it.

8.     Insecure

This is just to say that I am far too invested in Molly’s happiness as a person. I would also like to view a full season of Due North.

7.     American Vandal

From Alex Trimboli to Christa Carlyle, the best names on TV are on this show. Also the best reenactments, and somehow the most incisive take on what fuels, and results from TV’s true-crime obsession. Jimmy Tatro mumbling!

6.     Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

More shows should take the opportunity to explode in their third seasons, rocket forward at full speed, diagnose their main characters, and give Josh Groban wonderful, unexplainable cameos.

5.     Alias Grace

A show that conjured a performance for the ages out of Sarah Gadon and somehow made Zachary Levi palatable as a dramatic actor, this miracle of collaboration between Mary Harron and Sarah Polley is all the better for being binged. Down it in an afternoon, think of Grace under her black veil, daring you to disbelieve her, for years to come.

4.     Twin Peaks: The Return

A show that drove nostalgia into itself like a knife to the chest. Totally absurd. The best revival/exorcism yet on TV.

3.     Please Like Me

“Sorry about your life.” “I’m sorry about your life.” In a time when things tend to peter out, what a final season, in which everything goes to shit and then some. Maybe TV’s most prickly comedy, Please Like Me’s heart is of the “stumble along and keep going” sort and never does it test itself as much as it did with this bleak, pastel final statement.

2.     The Leftovers

Do you believe Nora Durst’s story? Sometimes I do. Sometimes I think it sounds ridiculous. Sometimes I relax in the comfortable, academic premise that it only matters that Kevin does. It’s a haunting idea, though, this image of world even emptier than The Leftovers’s own, where it’s possible to wander for untold time in darkness. Carrie Coon’s description of it is a kind of journey to the underworld – we’re there with her, maybe, and then we make it back, maybe. The trick of The Leftovers is the wound’s never fully healed.

1.     Halt and Catch Fire

The world changes. People sorta don’t.

Honorable mentions: the twist in The Good Place, the Taylor Swift demon character in Neo Yokio, Claire Foy on The Crown, Vanessa Kirby on The Crown, the stand-up in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Cristin Milioti in Black Mirror, the televised Academy Awards ceremony, the weeks when Netflix didn’t release new TV shows I had to watch, Girls’s “American Bitch,” the fact that Adam Driver is both in Girls and Star Wars, Keri Russell and Matthew Rhys performances on The Americans (and life in Brooklyn), the moments in Game of Thrones that were good enough to make me stop thinking about what people would write about Game of Thrones, season 2 of The Magicians’s resistance to any sort of plot logic, Jane the Virgin’s narrator, Nicole Kidman at therapy on Big Little Lies, Reese Witherspoon’s production of Avenue Q in Big Little Lies, Alexis Bledel holding things in The Handmaid’s Tale, Maggie Gyllenhaal directing porn in The Deuce, Alison Brie’s terrible Russian accent in Glow, Maya Rudolph in Big Mouth, Cush Jumbo miming oral sex with a pen in court in The Good Fight, the calming experience of watching new episodes of Superstore and Great News on Fridays, Eden Sher in The Middle, the fake books they make up for Younger, and Rihanna livestreaming herself watching Bates Motel.

THEATER

10.  Indecent

History, identity, community all mangled together in something that’s both excavation and revivification. I’m so mad I didn’t get to see it with my mom.

9.     Mary Jane

A nightmare that goes from bad to worse, which Carrie Coon performed with the endurance of a saint.

8.     SpongeBob SquarePants

Highlights: The tap number, the Fiddler on the Roof joke, the many uses of pool noodles, David Zinn’s design in general, the arms, the volcano setpiece, the fact that somehow I kept laughing for two-and-a-half hours at something SpongeBob SquarePants. Tina Landau, you’re a hero.

7.     Hello, Dolly!

I had a wonderful viewing experience like this, in that I sat alone on an aisle next to an older gay man who turned to me right when the curtain came down on the first act and said, “man, we love Bette.” (Shout out to any and all gags involving the whale.)

6.     Groundhog Day

Proof you can dig deeper into the material you’re adapting and still find more. Sometimes, the funniest gags come out of old-fashioned repetition. Andy Karl has the Rolex-like ability to make it all speed by without revealing any of the ticks, and then wallop you in the second act.  

5.     The Glass Menagerie

A lot of unconventional ideas piled onto each other that go so far into strange territory that they loop back around to being immediate. Maybe distant to some, but enough to unsettle me. I can still smell the onstage rain.

4.     The Wolves

A sign of a good play is probably that you remain invested in the characters long after you see it, and I’m going to spend so much time worrying about all the girls on the soccer team in The Wolves for the rest of my life.

3.     The Band’s Visit

Katrina Lenk has a gorgeous voice. Tony Shalhoub is restrained to the point that he could move his baton with nanometer accuracy. The songs are transporting. But most of all, The Band’s Visit manages to capture loneliness better than nearly any musical I’ve seen. Everyone, audience included, experiences something together, and then it all, slowly, both lingers and drifts apart.

2.     A Doll’s House, Part 2

What, you think I wasn’t going to include a play with a Laurie Metcalf performance? ADHP2 is perhaps clever to a fault in its set-up, but in the right hands, it turns into something both funny and moving – a story about what it takes to become a complete person, in or outside the influence of other people. Nora’s monologue about living in silence near the end is the full of the kind of simple statements that are so hard to act, and so brilliant when done just right.

1.     The Antipodes

Both an extended meditation on what it means to run out of stories and a brutal subtweet of Los Angeles, The Antipodes is my kind of play, in that it’s mostly people talking, Josh Charles is involved and very disgruntled, and everyone eats a lot of take out.

Honorable mentions: the music in Sunday in the Park With George, the pies in Sweeney Todd, the ensemble of Come From Away, seeing Dave Malloy in The Great Comet of 1812, Alex Newell’s “Mama Will Provide” in Once on This Island, Cate Blanchet having fun in The Present, Imelda Staunton in the NTLive Follies, Michael Urie in Torch Song, Patti LuPone’s accent(s) in War Paint, Ashley Park in KPOP, and Gleb.