#this post was a Lot to just find sitting in my drafts...... hello........................................................................

[thedragonagelesbian]

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the cyrus halsin parallels of rising to the occasion of overwhelming expectation, burdens imposed by others and by yourself, through meticulous self-control and repression so easily disguised by your affable, good, giving nature that you cannot even recognize your behavior and your rough treatment of yourself as performances-- it is simply who you are, or at the very least who you should be, and that impossible aspiration has been a part of your self for so long that sometimes you do not know if you are still you when the battle is over.

or, worse, that if you were to let that control slip--if you rage too long, if you succumb to the beast--you might never come back

[greynatomy]

soft launch

ona batlle x reader

had this in the drafts for so long that i forgot abt it. then remembered i only wrote it cause i want ona to myself

prequel here

———

“Ona Batlle and Lucy Bronze share an embrace after Spain’s World Cup Win”

“Lucy Bronze and Keira Walsh broke up”

“Wonze is no more”

“Luna - Lucy Bronze and Ona Batlle ship name”

“i just saw lucy and ona walking around barcelona by themselves”

“keira posted a picture with narla. they’re still together”

“Wait, wait. Look at this one. Ona Batlle seen going home with Lucy Bronze after practice. Guess it’s illegal to be in Lucy’s car.”

“Mi mundo, why are you still reading those?” Ona asks, setting a cup of tea in front of where you sat on the kitchen table.

“It’s just so funny. Me and Keira were in the backseat too.”

“I called gunshots.” She shrugged.

“Shotgun, my love.”

“It is the same.”

“Sure.” You stand up from your seat, Ona sliding in to sit, you finding your place on her lap. A familiar action.

“We should tell people now, I think. Slowly?”

“Yes! A soft launch!”

“I don’t know what that is.”

“Like, we don’t hide our relationship but we don’t make a big deal out of it.”

“I like that.”

—

Ona and Lucy are at a meet and greet with some Barcelona fans. One fan, Andrea, stepped up to the microphone.

“Hi.”

“Hello. What’s your name?”

“Andrea.”

“Hi, Andrea. What’s your question?”

“Well, I don’t know if you’ve both are aware, but there’s been a lot of rumors and speculations on the internet.”

“Oh? About what?” Lucy asks with a smirk.

“Luna or Wonze.”

The crowd cheers, also wanting to know all the information.

“Okay, okay.” Ona speaks up this time, not able to stop the smile on her face. “Me and Lucy, we are very close. Only because we don’t really have a choice.”

“Yeah, if we did, I’d stay far away from Ona. Nah, I’m kidding. I met her back in England on Holiday. Wanted to surprise my sister, but saw someone else.” She points a thumb towards Ona.

“You’re dating her sister.” Someone stated, shocked, making the audience laugh.

“Oh, yeah. They are not shy with letting people know.”

“What about all the car rides and stuff.”

“Y/N is usually in the back with Keira. They love to gossip, most of the time making fun on all the edits.”

—

liked by lucybronze, keirawalsh and 57,638 others

ona.batlle soft launch take too long

view all comments

lucybronze those hands are a bit too low for my liking

↳ keirawalsh leave them alone

↳ yourinstagram yeah! leave me alone

↳ keirawalsh @/yourinstagram don’t push her buttons

yourinstagram just couldn’t help yourself huh?

↳ ona.batlle want to show you off

↳ user1 omg that was so cute

↳ user2 i need me an ona

[takecareluv]

hello, maybe some headcanons/concepts on meeting vinnies friends🥺love your stuff so much

she’s the one || vinnie hacker x reader

word count : 873

author’s note : i thought i posted this already ?/? i’m so sorry, nonnie! i didn’t realize it was still in my drafts >.< i hope you like this! i started writing it as a short concept but then it became longer so i turned it into more of a headcanon / blurb ( idrk !) also thank you so much for your kindness <3 mwah !! <3

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

vinnie’s down bad from the moment he met you, there’s no doubt about it. he’d been practically begging the universe for a girlfriend for ages now and finally, after months of sulking and swiping left on the endless amount of l.a. girl that are basically carbon copies of each other, here you are ; everything he’s been searching for — a diamond in a sea of glass.

after just one date with you, he knew you were the one and he wasn’t shy about sharing his excitement. his friends weren’t used to this side of vin, and although most would find it annoying to hear him go on and on and on about this perfect girl he’d been seeing for only a short period of time, his friends were happy for him ; and dying to meet the mystery girl that’s got their best friend cheesin’ non stop.

it wasn’t too far along in the relationship that vinnie would bring up introducing you to his friends. they meant the world to him, and now so did you, of course he couldn’t keep you hidden for long.

you, however, were extremely nervous to meet the infamous group. knowing vinnie’s current living situation, you knew his friends would be around a lot ; so in your mind, if they didn’t approve of you, you could kiss your relationship — also known as the best thing that’s ever happened to you — goodbye.

vinnie assured you a million and one times that wasn’t the case and you had absolutely nothing to worry about. his friends would love you just as much as he did — well maybe not as much as vinnie did, that would be impossible, but a close second.

so here you were, sitting passenger side in vinnie’s mazda, on your way to his house to meet only a few of his closest friends — baby steps, as vinnie called it.

the car ride was filled with vin whispering sweet nothings to calm any and all of your nerves ; his hand on your thigh, as it was during every car ride you shared, giving gentle squeezes as to say a silent ‘i love you’ ; and short kisses pressed to your lips, cheek, forehead — anywhere vinnie could reach while the light was still red. it didn’t take long for you to become a blushing mess and forget all the worries that filled your mind only minutes prior. that was the effect vinnie had on you, and one of the many reasons you loved him — you’ve never felt more safe and happy with anyone in your life.

after a longer ride than anticipated, thanks to the constant bustling streets of l.a., you pulled into the driveway of vinnie’s gigantic home.

the anxiety you were feeling quickly came back to you once you saw just how many cars filled both the driveway and garage of the house — way more than you expected. vinnie could see you eyeing them while simultaneously doing the math in your head. he realized by the looks of it, it would seem as if there was a party going on inside when in reality, as he hurried to explain to you, most of those cars were his own — immediately causing you to let out a big sigh of relief. but wonder, how many cars does one person need?

being the gentleman that he is, vinnie opened the car door for you, holding his hand out to guide you towards the house.

before you made it to the front door, he paused, pulling you into a hug as he placed a kiss to the top of your head. “i love you and they’re going to love you, i promise. you have nothing to worry about, sweetheart.”

and vinnie was right, like always, he was quick to remind you later. his friends adored you.

jett was especially impressed with your knowledge on cars — little did he know it came from all the babbling you heard whenever vinnie visited you after just spending hours at the warehouse.

you originally planned on staying for only a little bit before heading to a dinner reservation, but the boys begged vinnie to cancel it, not wanting you to leave just yet. and how could vinnie say no to that. he was just thrilled to see his favorite people getting along.

instead, he ordered food for everyone and you spent the rest of the evening watching anime and playing games with the group — getting yourself into an intense game of mario kart with jack.

hera even joined the party and cuddled up right next to you on the couch, squishing herself between you and vinnie.

vinnie couldn’t help the smile that was glued to his face. his best friends, his favorite girl and his precious cat all together in one room — it couldn’t get better than this.

when it was time for vinnie to drive you home, the boys were already inviting you back over for a barbecue the following weekend. a barbecue vinnie didn’t even know they were having until that moment.

the following morning they were all telling vinnie how lucky his was to have found you and that you were definitely the one. even commenting on how they’d never seen him so happy.

[magics-neptunes-things]

She dares me

Hello everybody!

I had a lot of request for Lucy Bronze, so here am I trying one with her :)

I have some other writing in my draft tho, I try to decide which one I will post first but I have to admit that I write for the one who inspires me the most according to my mood of the day x)

I hope you'll like it anyway ♥

Resume : You take care of you stubborn and childlish girlfriend.

TW : None

____________________________________________________________

"Lucia Roberta Bronze, this is the worst idea you’ve ever had"

"But baby, she dared me"

You roll your eyes when you hear Lucy whine, before she gets an impressive coughing fit. Sighing, you hand her a tissue so she can blow her nose and you patiently wait for her to be able to speak again.

Sitting on her bed, in her room of her apartment, it’s been an hour now that you’re trying to take care of her. When she missed practice today because she was sick, you knew it wasn’t just a little cold. Lucy isn't the type to miss training for nothing or even to be fragile in terms of her immune system. She warned you in the morning that she was not feeling well, so after finishing your training, you hurried to find her.

After having assured you for a few minutes that it was nothing, she finally confessed to you that following a challenge from Mapi, she found herself all dressed in the Mediterranean Sea. In the middle of winter. Obviously she didn't have any spare clothes and had to make the way back wet from feet to head.

"In the meantime, Mapi only got wet to the calf, so I won."

You sigh again, looking at her with a distressed air. You are obviously in love with this woman, more than anything else in the world. But sometimes you have trouble understanding how she can be so spontaneous and childish.

"She also has a cold and I now understand better why Ingrid was giving her black looks every time she sneezed."

Lucy sneers at the news, probably playing the scene in her head. Despite yourself, you can’t help but smile too.

"But between Ingrid and me, she’s definitely the winner. Her girlfriend is not about to die of pneumonia."

"Not going to die of pneumonia" Lucy mumbles sleepily as she pulls up her sheet under her chin.

"How is it that in our both couples it's the youngest who are the most mature?" you ask rhetorically by putting your hand on her forehead, trying to find out if her temperature is starting to fall.

"Dunno. Maybe because you both aren't fun" Lucy mumbles before yawning.

"Maybe I should ask Ingrid to get in a relationship with me, at least we would be both not fun but happy and healthy?"

You pull your tongue out at her and Lucy slaps your hand, frowning at you.

"Hey! Don’t laugh with that"

"I’ll go out and get you some medicine. Try to get some rest."

Sulking, Lucy gets on her side to turn her back on you and you watch her do it with an amused smile. You kiss her shoulder covered with the sheet and slowly come out of the bedroom. You take the opportunity to tidy up some of the things that the English left behind during the day before going out towards the pharmacy.

The air is fresh and the night begins to fall, making you shiver. You make the round trip with a quick step, the face completely masked by your scarf and the hood of your jacket. It's with relief that you find the warmth of Lucy’s apartment and you decide to make both of yourself tea. You to warm up, Lucy to ease her throat.

A quick passage through Lucy’s room learn you that she sleeps deeply and you decide not to wake her. After preparing a soup in addition to tea, you sit on the couch with your hot cup of tea and your phone. After like one hour, your hear her cough again and made your way to her room.

"You ok?" you ask when you see that she’s awake.

Lucy nods and turn for her nightstand to take her bottle of water. You let her do it, making a quick trip to the kitchen to put on the tray that you prepared and the medicines. With your foot, you push the door of the room to open and you put the tray on the other night table. Then you lie down next to her, on the sheet.

"How are you feeling?"

"Terrible" she answers by dropping on her back on her cushion.

With an empathetic smile, you clear her face of the few strands of hair that block her eyes.

"I’m sorry I said you weren’t fun"

You laugh slightly before you lean over her to put a kiss on her forehead.

"I know, baby." You smile at her again before you put the tray between you two. "Your meds. And I think it would be nice if you ate a little"

You nod at the soup bowl and Lucy looks at it thoughtfully for a few moments before resigning herself to sit in the bed. Once she’s settled, you hand her the bowl and let her eat, telling her a few things that happened during training.

Then, when she’s done, you help her take her meds and drop her half-empty cup of tea on her nightstand.

"Where are you going?" she whines as you come out of the room.

"Do the dishes?"

"Fuck the dishes. I need hugs to get better, it was written on the leaflet of the medicines"

"Of course, I didn’t have to read the little sentence in the end"

You laugh and rest the tray to climb on the bed next to her.

"Exactly"

Her big smile when she answers you goes straight to your heart and you spread your arms so that she can cuddle up against you. After offering to watch something on television, you find yourself stroking her hair while watching Malcolm. When you found out it was Lucy’s favorite show, you were surprised at first, but you got used to it.

Not used to seeing Lucy so clingy, you take full advantage of having her for you in this state. Usually, you're the needy one between you two. But that's ok because Lucy never refuses you a kiss or a hug. And the best part is, you don’t have to feel guilty because the meds seem to be working and she feels better.

And her health will continue to get better, since after three days she is fully on her feet and back to training. The only thing that’s changed is that with Ingrid you promised yourself that you’d never let the two women go out by themselves again.

[hyusun]

👑 - The Noodle Arm Incident - L.JN

Pairing: gym bro!Jeno x mark sister!yn

Genre: fluff, gym ???

Warning : puddle, stumble/fall, tore ligament, gym, sweat, heart eye, concerned bigbro mark ???

Vibe : A torn ligament, a traitorous puddle, and one dramatic fall later, yn finds herself in wrist rehab, dragged to the gym by her overly concerned brother. She expected sore muscles and awkward stretching, not Jeno, the quiet, kind helper who makes healing feel like less of a chore and more like… something worth showing up for. a/n : Sorry if the gym scene sounds hella vague… I’ve never stepped foot in a gym 💀 The only gym in my life is Gym Jungkook, and even Jeno stresses me out with those arms. Sometimes I genuinely feel like taking a bite out of his bicep. Just a lil chomp. Lemme know your thoughts before I embarrass myself even more 😩🏋️‍♂️💚

Accidents can happen to anyone, anytime, anywhere. Yours just happened to be during the last week of the semester, right before summer break. Of course.

You were walking to class, avoiding a small puddle near the university’s main entrance, when somehow, physics failed you. One bad step and you stumbled over your own foot, crashed onto the pavement, and instinctively threw out your left hand to break the fall.

Wrong move.

The pain was instant and intense. A sharp, searing kind that made your vision blur for a second. You sat there on the pavement, clutching your wrist, trying not to cry. Or scream. Or both. Lucky for your dignity, no one was around to witness your ungraceful fall from grace, just you, gravity, and that one traitorous puddle.

Gritting your teeth, you pulled out your phone with your good hand and shakily tapped on Mark’s contact. Your thumb trembled. Your pride was already bruised. Your wrist? Probably worse.

He picked up on the first ring.

“Mark,” you breathed, trying to sound calm. You did not succeed. “What happened?” “I think I broke myself,” you muttered, swallowing a wince. “…Did you fall again?” “Pavement attacked me.” He sighed so loud you could practically hear his soul leaving his body. “Stay there. I’m coming.”

And he did, like he was auditioning for the next Fast & Furious movie, tires screeching and all. You didn’t even make it into the car before he started his rant.

“You’re singlehandedly aging me a decade, you know that?” “Hello to you too.” “I let you walk to class and you try to fight the sidewalk?” “It started it.” “You keep this up and I’m installing airbags on your shoes.”

By the time he got you to the hospital, he’d already named your injury: The Noodle Arm Incident.

And sadly, it stuck.

At the hospital, after a long wait and a whole lot of poking, the doctor gave you the bad news: torn ligament in your left wrist. No surgery, thank god, but at least a month of rest and light physical therapy. Your entire summer break? Canceled.

Mark, ever the problem-solver slash honorary parent, took it upon himself to personally enroll you at his friend’s gym.

Which brings us to your first day at the gym, three weeks post-injury, wrist still wrapped but starting to feel more like your own again.

You were sitting in the passenger seat of Mark’s car, nervously staring at the gym sign through the windshield like it might explode.

“I don’t wanna go in,” you mumbled.

“You’re not being drafted to war,” he deadpanned. “You're doing wrist curls, not combat training.”

“Says the guy with two functioning wrists.”

Mark sighed dramatically but softened. “Look, I wouldn’t bring you here if I didn’t trust them. And Jeno’s cool. He’s chill. Just follow his lead and don’t try to lift a car on day one.”

You scoffed. “Ha-ha. Very funny.”

But he still waited at the entrance with you, hands on your shoulders like a proud dad. “You got this. Just don’t fall in the gym, okay?”

You smacked his arm with your good hand and walked in.

The gym smelled like rubber mats and metal. Music thumped gently in the background, not loud enough to drown your thoughts. You stood there awkwardly, unsure where to go, when someone approached from the free weights section.

“You’re Mark’s sister?" he asked, voice low but kind.

You turned, and there he was. Jeno. You’d see him in passing a few times, all arms and quiet energy, the type who never skipped leg day or chest day. He looked effortlessly cool, even in a plain black tank and sweats.

You nodded. “Yeah, first time here, for wrist rehab. Also... I have no idea what I’m doing.”

He smiled, eyes soft. “That’s okay. I’ll help.”

And help he did. He adjusted your form gently, made sure you didn’t overextend your wrist, explained things patiently like he wasn’t rushing to get back to his own routine. It could’ve felt awkward, but somehow it didn’t. Not with him.

He didn’t treat you like you were fragile,just careful. Respectful. Kind.

That day marked the beginning of a slow, unexpected rhythm. You started coming in regularly. Sometimes you’d spot him already there, nodding a quiet hello. Other times, he’d show up mid-session, offer you a spare water bottle, or casually walk you through a new machine like it was no big deal.

One day, after a longer-than-usual workout, both of you sat on the floor, legs stretched out, breathing heavy.

“Want to get something to eat?” he asked.

You blinked. “Now?”

He nodded. “Yeah. You earned it.”

The post-gym meal was nothing fancy, grilled chicken rice bowls at a quiet corner shop, but somehow, it felt like the most comforting thing you’d had in a while.

Maybe it was the way Jeno listened when you spoke, genuinely and without distraction, like every word mattered. He shared stories about gymming with his best friend Jaemin, how college stress led him to find peace through lifting weights. 

In return, you told him your noodle arm origin story, how a puddle and a poor judgment of balance led to your wrist betraying you. He laughed, not mockingly, but with that low, breathy kind of laugh that made your chest flutter and your face burn a little. It felt like the beginning of something soft, and slowly unfolding.

Weeks passed, and gym time slowly became something more than just rehab. Your wrist healed beautifully, no longer wrapped or aching, and your routine shifted into full-body sets instead of just babying your left side. You were stronger now, not just in your wrist, but in the way you carried yourself. More confident. And through it all, Jeno was there. Most sessions, you'd find him already waiting, towel slung over his shoulder, greeting you with a soft smile like it was the best part of his day. Maybe it was. 

You’d train side by side, exchanging quiet encouragements, spotting each other during tougher sets, sharing water bottles when you forgot yours. It wasn’t just healing your body anymore, it felt like healing your spirit too. One rep, one smile, one shared silence at a time.

He’d walk you to your car sometimes, even if his session wasn’t done yet. You started to notice the way his hand would hover near your lower back when you walked through crowded spaces. The way he always knew when to push you, and when to let you rest.

And one evening, after your usual session together, both of you sweaty, tired, and sharing a quiet moment after workout for the day , you noticed something. As you were getting ready to  head toward your car, Jeno didn’t follow. Instead, he turned back toward the gym, wiping his neck with his towel.

“You’re going again?” you asked, confused.

He paused, glancing over his shoulder. “Yeah,” he said, a little sheepish. “Jaemin’s coming. I usually gym with him in the evenings.”

You blinked. “Wait… so I’m... your warm-up?”

He laughed softly, rubbing the back of his neck. “No. I mean… kind of? Not really. I just... didn’t want to stop gymming with you.”

Your brows lifted slightly, a quiet beat passing between you.

He looked at you then, more earnest than you’d ever seen him. “I like this. Us. Working out together. Even if I’ve gotta do double sessions, it’s worth it.”

There was a strange little flutter in your chest. A pause in your breath. Maybe it was the endorphins. Or maybe... it wasn’t.

You smiled, eyes soft. “You’re insane.”

He grinned back. “A little bit. But for a good reason.”

You rolled your eyes, but the smile tugging at your lips was hard to hide. “So you’d rather suffer through two gym sessions than skip one with me?”

He shrugged, casual, like he hadn’t just thrown your heart into a somersault. “I mean, yeah. Kinda hard to go back to leg day with Jaemin after laughing through planks with you.”

You laughed quietly, trying to ignore the way your heart felt too big in your chest. “You laugh through planks?”

“With you, apparently.”

There was something in his tone. Not teasing. Not playful. Just... honest. And it made the silence stretch, not awkward, but full. Full of things unspoken. Like how you’d started looking forward to gym days not for progress, but for him. Like how you caught yourself scanning the room for him before your workouts even began. Like how his presence made the air feel lighter.

You tucked your towel into your bag, suddenly very aware of how close he was standing.

“Well,” you said, gently, “don’t let Jaemin outlift me.”

He smiled, but it was softer this time. “He doesn’t stand a chance.”

You looked at him then, and he looked right back. Not rushed. Not hesitant. Just there—open and present. And in that quiet moment, with post-workout sweat still cooling on your skin and the scent of gym mats lingering faintly in the air, you knew.

“So,” you started, slinging your bag over your shoulder, trying to sound casual even though your pulse was doing jumping jacks. “Second gym session of the night. You sure your muscles won’t file a complaint?”

Jeno chuckled, falling into step beside you as you both walked toward the exit again. “They might. But Jaemin talks more than he lifts, so I’ll be fine.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t peg him for a chatterbox.”

“Oh, he narrates everything,” Jeno said with a soft grin. “Last week he gave a TED Talk about protein intake while bench pressing.”

You laughed, loud enough that a couple of gym-goers looked over. But Jeno just smiled like he didn’t care. Like maybe that laugh was the best thing he’d heard all day.

At the entrance, you paused. He stopped too.

“Hey,” he said, his voice quieter now. “Do you wanna come with us? It’s nothing serious. Just legs and Jaemin’s bad playlist.”

You hesitated, not because you didn’t want to, you want to but because your heart suddenly felt too full. Like if you said yes, you were saying yes to something more than just squats. But before you could overthink it, you saw the way he was looking at you. Not expecting. Not pushing. Just... hopeful.

You smiled. “Nah. I’ll let you suffer with Jaemin solo tonight. But maybe… after?”

He tilted his head. “After?”

“Bubble tea. If your legs still function.”

Jeno grinned, and this time, there was something different in it. Something a little giddy. “Deal.”

And then, like it was the most natural thing in the world, he reached out and gently bumped your pinky with his. Just a touch. Just a quiet promise.

“I’ll text you when I’m done,” he said, walking backward now, still smiling.

You watched him go, that flutter in your chest blooming into something steady. Something warm. You weren’t sure what this was becoming, but whatever it was, it felt good.

It felt like something that had been waiting to happen all along.

thank you so much for taking the time to read it. I’d love to hear your thoughts, so any feedback is welcome! - 🌻 📌 💭 checkout my other delulus in the masterlist

All works are copyrighted © HyuSun, 2025. Please do not repost, rewrite, or distribute without explicit permission.

[galaxymagitech]

hello!! i'm a big fan of your fic "Bleed the Poison Out" (and i'm definitely putting it on multiple fic rec lists). it has such a good portrayal of bruce and dick's relationship <3

so for the ask game: ✰ NEW SHAPES ☹ EVIL TWIN ♡ SMALL THINGS

Thank you so much!!! That is one of my favorite fics I’ve written, and probably in my top three of Bruce & Dick fics to write, so I’m really glad you enjoyed it. Sorry for taking so long :(

Bleed the Poison Out | Ask Game

♡ SMALL THINGS: pick a fic and I’ll tell you my favorite minor detail from it!

Hmm. This fic means a lot to me, so it’s difficult to find something that feels minor, but…I think I’d go with the soft rug that has the pizza sauce and blood stains. The fic can feel very isolating (to me, at least), like Bruce and Dick are the only two people in the world—even when other people come up, they’re a distraction tactic. But the rug is just there, and a sign of Dick’s connections beyond just Bruce. Even if he never talked to Bruce again (although he will talk to Bruce again), he would still have a family.

✰ NEW SHAPES: send me a fic and I’ll give you an alternate direction the fic could have gone!

Well, when I first started planning this fic (for last year's Dick Grayson Anniversary Week), I was trying to make it an actual heartwarming, complete apology that, while not fixing everything, left a very solid foundation. But every single fully sincere apology I could think of felt utterly ridiculous. I genuinely could not suspend my disbelief enough to believe that Bruce could apologize in a way that doesn’t make things worse. So, I ended up pulling out a draft that was permanently consigned to my notes. It was a personal thing, not fit for posting, but I figured I could try to fix it up.

After that, I think the main thing that nearly went differently was that I almost cut it off because I couldn’t think of an ending. Instead of getting through to Bruce, Dick would have forced down his feelings in the end, accepted Bruce’s apology (and lack of apology for the incidents they disagree on) and then Bruce would leave. And Dick would be alone.

But then I found a turning point, where Dick voices something that's just so out of place that it forces Bruce to confront how his actions are so messed up that they've created these really messed-up (but realistic, I think) thought processes. That, despite not meaning to, he hurt his son.

☹ EVIL TWIN: send me a fic or scene and I’ll give you the unhappy ending version of it!

This was really fun. My first thought was that the conversation escalated and Bruce got violent again, but I figured that's boring, and I could do better. So I challenged myself to imagine the actual worst dumpster fire of an ending possible. And then I worked back from there to light that fire.

That turning point I mentioned in the previous question? It could very easily have sent the conversation careening in the opposite direction. So I’ve started the story from there. Enjoy your dumpster fire ending!

***

“I want you to hit me again,” Dick admits. For a moment, there’s silence. And then—

“What.” Bruce’s voice is flat and cold. Dick flinches at the sound of it.

He—it made sense in his head. If Bruce just…just hit him. Now. After Spyral. Not under mind control. No Court of Owls, or dead sons, or dead friends, or justification. If Bruce just hit him, Dick would know. He would know that this is what Bruce does, that Bruce hits him, that it’s a thing, and Dick can be angry all he wants and it won’t be just stupid, childish resentment.

But sitting in the silence and listening to the words echo in his ears, Dick knows there has to be something wrong with him, something that makes him push and poke and prod and provoke until Bruce loses his patience. After all, what kind of kid—not that Dick is a kid, but he sure feels like one right now—what kind of kid wants his father to hit him? What kind of kid says that out loud?

When Bruce speaks again, his words dig their claws into Dick’s heart and scoop out the rot hiding inside. Because, as much as Dick wishes he wasn’t, Bruce is right. “If you’re looking for whatever villain you’ve built up in your head, Dick, you’re not going to get it.”

“Villain,” Dick echoes. Everything is cold, not just Bruce’s voice. The air in his apartment. The air in his lungs. The cavity Bruce has carved into his chest where his heart is supposed to beat.

“That’s what this is about, isn’t it?” Bruce asks. “I fired you. I’m to blame for Jason’s death. I’m to blame for everything, aren’t I?” Dick’s fists clench, thumbs trapped against the wood of the table. “I made mistakes. I’ll be the first to admit that. But—”

“Mistakes?” Dick can’t keep the hysteria out of his tone. He was trying to be calm. Reasonable. He alwaystries. But something about arguing with Bruce turns him into a timebomb. And sooner or later, he explodes. And even if he calms down, even if he tries to reel himself in, he just explodes again. And again. And again. Until one of them leaves. “You want to talk about Jason’s death? Because you blamed me for that too, and then you hit me, and the first time you even thought to apologize is half a decade later! You beat me until I agreed to leave my family behind and go on that godforsaken mission and even now, you can’t even acknowledge what you did! All you can say is that you made mistakes!”

“What do you even want me to say, then?” Bruce asks. His face is contorted with something that Dick has only seen a few times before. In the cave, after Jason’s death. As Batman pulled him from Blüdhaven’s wreckage. In the cave again, after the Crime Syndicate. It’s a face Dick has only ever seen on Batman in their worst moments together. But now, Bruce is wearing it, and Dick can’t force his lungs to breathe. “You’re acting like a child, right now.”

“Maybe stop treating me like one then!” Dick screams.

He doesn’t mean it in the way he meant it at twelve, at sixteen, at nineteen. He doesn’t mean that Bruce isn’t giving him enough responsibility or independence, or that Bruce doesn’t trust him.

Dick means that he will never be able to say anything to convince Bruce that he did more than just make a mistake. No matter what, Dick’s words will always be less trustworthy, less valid, less real. Bruce will hold a court session in his head and Dick’s thoughts will never be anything other than an unreliable eyewitness testimony.

That’s unfair to Bruce. Dick has no way of proving that he’s right—about Bruce hitting him after Gordon’s supposed death, about the events before Spyral being more than just a brutal spar, about Bruce’s actions being a step above mistake and crossing over into something he doesn’t want to name. Why should Bruce trust him, when he accidentally lied about not agreeing to spar? Why should Bruce trust him, when he took the most thorough apology Bruce has ever given and pushed and prodded until he made it another argument, just like he always does?

But it still stings.

Bruce’s response stings even more.

“I tried to apologize,” Bruce says. “I sat here while you accused me of one terrible thing after the next. But—”

Dick can’t help but interrupt. (That’s wrong. He needs to take responsibility; he can help it. He just doesn’t.)“It’s not an apology if—”

“—playing the victim—”

“—you’re arguing with me—”

“—own up to my flaws but—” 

“—every other second!”

“I won’t apologize for something I never did!” Bruce roars, hands slamming into the table as he stands. The surface trembles, and Dick wonders if this will be it, and the kitchen table will finally crack. He’ll get a bigger one, this time. One with room for enough chairs for everyone.

His mind, Dick realizes, is not totally there. He can hear everything Bruce is saying. He can see the kitchen around them. But right now, the world doesn’t feel entirely real. “I didn’t ask you to!” Dick yells back. He thinks at least. He can’t really tell. His voice sounds too-loud and too-quiet at the same time. “I didn’t ask you to break into my apartment when I just wanted to sleep and try to talk about it, okay? Nothing’s stopping you from leaving!”

“I was trying to make things right!” Bruce screams, stepping forwards. Dick scrambles out of his chair and takes a step back, towards the corner of the kitchen. Away from the door. Not that Dick could reach the door anyway—Bruce is blocking the exits.

Dick remembers noticing that, when Bruce sat down. That Bruce put himself between Dick and the exits. Because he both of them appreciate being able to watch all the entrances, but he doesn’t know that right now, Dick feels like a cornered animal. Bruce would never have thought that Dick needed an exit to feel safe. “This?” Dick sweeps an arm out. “This is not making things right! This is making things worse, like you always do!”

Bruce takes another step forward. This time, Dick refuses to give any more ground. There’s not much further he can retreat in the corner anyway. Bruce opens his mouth, presumably to scream something else, before he abruptly pauses. When he speaks again, his voice is cutting, but no longer a scream. A knife, instead of a club. A knife that buries itself in Dick’s chest and twists. “That’s what this is, isn’t it? You said you want me to hit you. And so you do this.” Bruce shakes his head. “This isn’t you, Dick. There’s something wrong with you, right now, making you act like this. Have you been exposed to any—”

Bruce says more, but Dick can’t hear it over the blood rushing in his ears. All he knows is that he needs to get out. He needs to get out. He needs to get out.

He can’t get out. The exits are blocked.

He needs to—

Over the next few weeks, Dick will look back on this moment and replay it over and over again in his head. He will try to tell himself that he was just acting instinctively, that he wasn’t thinking, that his vigilante brain perceived a threat and lashed out. But he’ll know better.

Dick hand forms a practiced fist and strikes Bruce in the face.

No. Dick needs to take responsibility. Dick strikes Bruce in the face.

And for a moment, the world freezes. Bruce, with his head thrown to the side. Dick, with a fist raised, blood beginning to well from where one of his knuckles scraped against a tooth. And the room, empty, with no one to bear witness. Just like always.

Except it’s entirely different.

Dick sucks a breath of air into the vacuum of his lungs. Bruce slowly lifts his head. For a moment, they both stare at each other.

And then Dick collapses against the wall, barely remaining upright. His mind is filled with a cacophony of voices, all screaming the same thing. “I’m sorry,” Dick says. “I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I swear, I’m sorry.”

Dick hit him. Not to fight him while he was making a mistake. He just hit him. During an argument.

Bruce has never hit Dick outside costume. Even during the spar, they wore their cowl and mask.

Dick didn’t just hit Bruce, didn’t just make a horrible—a horrible mistake. He crossed a line.

“I’m sorry,” Dick repeats. It’s all he can do. He knows how it sounds. ‘I didn’t mean to’s and ‘I’m sorry’s. “I’m sorry, I’m—”

“Are you done?” Bruce asks, wiping away the blood from a cut on his lower lip. His voice isn’t warm, but it isn’t cold either. It just is. Are you done? Are you done being a problem? Are you done escalating every fucking argument you get into? Are you done playing the victim, when you just struck someone you love and made him bleed?

“Please,” Dick says. He doesn’t know what he’s pleading for. Forgiveness? That would make it worse. If Bruce forgave him. What he did— “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Bruce says quietly. “I’m sorry too.” Bruce shouldn’t be apologizing. Dick hit him. This is all wrong.

Bruce was right. Dick keeps playing the victim, when all he’s done is create the problems.

Bruce helps Dick into his chair at the table and steps back. Dick’s skin crawls the whole time, but he can’t think of anything except the impact of Bruce’s skin beneath his fist. “I’ll see you next week,” Bruce says. “There’s a case that could use another pair of hands.”

Dick looks down. When he looks back up, Bruce is gone. He doesn’t know quite how long it was between.

All this time, Dick held grievances against Bruce for, what? Treating him like an equal? Like someone he could speak to honestly? Like someone who could stand up for himself if he didn’t want to spar?

Bruce wanted to apologize. And Dick responded by hitting him.

It’s clear, now, where the poison lies. Seeping into Dick’s blood. Dripping from the cut on his knuckle. Pulsing within his very veins.

[cynical-tuba]

VTMDA summary of which I am behind on posting because I had written this once before and Tumblr decided to not save the draft

Anyway, monster hunting and Lasombra sexy times and holy grail hunting below the cut

Also I use Leo with She/Her pronouns since she genderfluid but was in girl mode this day

In which Emir, Tertius, the fleshy rotty pig named Priscilla, and Bernice the Red Order Nun biologist took a walk in the marsh she tried to conquer her fear of the outside while trying to tackle deeply repressed PTSD about a certain group of fleshy pigs. It's as if PTSD doesn't just wish itself away or something because she sure had a time.

But there was this highlight, as Bernice can now speak to animals thanks to ingesting Tertius' blood.

A badger did approach them out of the woods and this followed,

Bernice: hello (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

Badger: why do you talk???

Emir: hello my friend

Badger: ARE YOU DEMONS????

Players ooc: A CHRISTIAN BADGER!!

Leo meanwhile is finished showing off Hengist's newly vississituded on Mustache -- the man has to get to work. Leo has to finish a painting for The Order. Leo goes to see Randell to get him to sit in for a portrait but Theodosia wants to sit in and watch the artistic process. Leo is happy to oblige. Theodosia watches on, Leo sketches Randell, getting lost to the flow, noticing the way Randell looks at her.

Theodosia, being a human after all decides to head back. She has to do paper work anyway. Leo gets back to chatting with Randell. Randell, let me tell you I've been engaged before in an arranged marriage. This was ages ago in my human life. I didn't want to get married and have children and be a doctor. My dominator found me, I ran away to live in a villa and had some wild parties, that I suppose I'm not too proud of anymore. Randell thinks he was foolish for giving that up. Leo realizes he wants kids but explains he wouldn't be the same person. If he didn't have those experiences

Was Randell ever engaged? No. There was a girl from the village but he didn't get to marry her, due to his amputated arm. He couldn't do farm work. So she married someone else. This is a strange concept to Leo, who came from a fairly upper class working doctor family in Santo spirito, Florence.

Leo asks him if he likes Theodosia? Why not I see how you look at her. Just tell her how you feel. It's easy. For example, I like you Randell. I find you attractive. I think we have a lot in common. In fact I thought you were handsome the first time we met, while having dinner together, 80 years ago. When I was a ghoul, holding a lute in my hands and even still when you called me a whore? Do you still think I'm a whore?

No no I don't.

Leo touched by how calm Randell is, but her beast angry of why the man won't give a strong reaction, fails a control roll to go over to him and grab him by the collar. She kisses him, and using a blood point for blush of life is brought down to four hunger... So she takes a bite out of his wrist in her hair. Randell manages to kick her off (being one armed) but she gets up going back for his neck. She comes out of frenzy, Randell still very much into it "what are you doing???" Randell says like he caught someone looking in a stationary cupboard. Leo kisses him again and the scene fades to black.

Meanwhile Theodosia seeks out Emir for advice. The office of the big bad inquisition wants her to give results. The murder of a high profile Cainite? A artifact ? He gives reassurance. Maybe they can help produce results.

The next evening Leo and Randell wake up after their passionate night. Randell looks bewildered and Leo calmly gets dressed. Her clothes were torn (by herself) in the night of passion. Randell offers to take them home and repair them and let Leo wear his spare clothes back. Leo finds this sweet. But then Randell says the following:

-----

Randell: you were right・⁠_⁠・

Leo: . . .about what --Randell I made so many points last night (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)✿

Randell: I have to confess

Leo: (gently) I'm sure you can go to church and confess--

Randell: no I have to confess my feelings to Theodosia.

---

Leo snaps, throws the clothes at him, demands he leaves and she storms out, angry and ashamed. But there's no time to sulk, she goes home, changes Emir needs help.

She joins him-- although a little spiky.

They go to see Inge, a low gen Malkavian. He transports their spirits (with Auspex) to a random location of which Leo is unprepared for, but would he really be a Malkavian if he gave an inch of warning?

Leo, Emir and Inge as spirits are transported to a place where they speak old Norse. Iceland? It's unclear. They stand In front of an old Hall garden by a single guard and she calls out to come out seemingly to sense them

The three press on into the hall as spirits and entre behind a wall, into a world where they become soild. They seem to find themselves in a cave of treasure.

They sneak down into the heart of this dungeon where a monster guards a pile of riches and a single Pewter bowl. Emir still isn't going to tell Leo what all this is about

Emir obfuscates Leo and she goes after this pewter bowl. She botches a stealth roll and slips while holding the bowl and it kicks off. Emir distracts the creature and Leo takes off with Inge(who, to newcomers reading this, is very blind) they bolt up the stairs, the three barely making their way out of the dungeon, becoming souls once again as they reach the Hall.

The guard from before with her two friends reveal themselves to be garou. They disrobe and fight the monster as it bursts out of the wall behind Emir Leo and Inge.

Emir scrambles it's brains a bit with haunting to give the garou a fighting chance

And Inge yeets them back into their bodies. They are back where they belong, in Oxford. Leo has a pewter bowl in her lap.

Emir what is this anyway

It's the holy grail, Leo, (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

[moonydulac]

anon here, excited to read the essay! i asked you because i really like your takes and i see people in the more canon-adjacent parts of the marauders fanbase to complain about the extremes of the fanon one, though personally ive never really seen anything Too extreme, tho thats probably just tantamount to how well i curate my spaces i suppose (ive seen people say that fanon makes remus really “alpha” or makes sirius “bimbofied” and while ive seen hints of those extremes here and there, mostly it looks like it varies from person to person. ive just seen remus be more assertive than he probably is in canon, or sirius being more dramatic and “fem” than he probably is in canon). from what i know people like exaggerating events (the prank, etc.) or shifting some personality traits, but i dont really think thats a bad thing - i personally enjoy it. as long as they dont completely turn characters into stereotypes (though its a pitfall of every fandom, i fear), then whatever its just camp.

people are allowed to criticize stuff like that though, not taking that away from anyone, i personally just dont really care enough to be totally accurate esp since this hyperfix is kind of the bottom of the barrel for me LMAO. but i ask mostly bc im just curious to see what other peoples opinions are, and bc i think - especially in a fanbase like this - that its incredibly important to be at least a little critical with your media experience and reflect on it. saying “oh fuck canon we’re just having fun” is fine and all, i dont think anyone is stopping you, i think the personalities people have made up for characters that have zero screen time are super fun and the little ships are not everyones tea but like its fine. but even still, people should be way more aware of what characters theyre dealing with and from what franchise, and like reflect on any biases you may have. if youre making shit up for a random DE character, or retconning some sutff, okay, whatever, but be sure to not defend or like suddenly turn to really weird rhetoric. idk i think its the bare minimum in a fanbase like this

i definitely rambled way too much here, super sorry op! i hope this doesnt bother you, feel free to reply or feel free to not. i just really like hearing peoples thoughts on things, and i like your takes and your blog so i hope i didnt catch you by surprise. i really am just an outsider trying to look in LOL

hello anon, I'm sorry I lost your ask. I was writing on my laptop and saved the draft (but apparently had to press on alt, and didn't do it) so I basically lost your question and half of my initial response. Ty for sending in another ask!! Not a bother at all, i find this very lovely :D 

I was mortified to find that someone who isn't really a part of the fandom was perceiving me while I was complaining about fictional characters ahahaha. still, thank you for validating me and asking my thoughts on the mischaracterization of marauders!! I do talk about it daily, unfortunately, and without any prompt too. I'll try to gather all my thoughts here. I don't necessarily come across fanon as much as I did when I reentered the fandom and honestly, I can not be more with you about curating your space !! at the end of the day, I am just here to have fun, and really, pointing out these issues is not a good time at all! But I do post a lot about these, I can't be bothered to bottle up any thoughts lol.

I think the major issue I have with current interpretations is the underlying bigotry that comes along with it. There is a lot of unchecked problematic content that doesn't sit right with me.

Flanderizing characters in fandom interpretations is not limited to marauders fandom obviously. any popular media will face this because so many of us want to interact with one character so their traits are simplified for easier consumption and to find a common ground. this is also not limited to new marauders fandom. even in the older era, leather jacket-wearing, motorbike-driving quintessential bad boy siruis was a thing. so I won't nitpick on silly simplifications.

I just want to say that this isn't about me wanting everyone to have the same interpretations as I do about the canon. I follow so many lovely people and I don't agree with all of their posts. But, we all just simply share the love for these characters in the text and form an imaginary community. So, if we were to remove all the issues I will mention, it is still very well possible to have different personal takes.

Here are some of my issues:

Queerness, Gender roles, and misogyny:

My biggest problem is the representations of queer relationships. the fandom packages these couples in a strange and obvious heteronormative mold where the individuals fit into male and female gender roles. mlm and wlw are now an “f/m”* stereotype and characterization gets affected by the ships. Heterosexual relationships shouldn't have these limitations either, anyway. There is no one way to be a woman or a man. With queer relationships in particular, we have reclaimed the word queer now but it was used to describe the unconventional weirdness in the relationship. We didn't fit into the normal portrayal of a loving relationship. So, it really bothers me, even in fiction, that queer ships are popularly consumed in a way that represents a traditional template. (*this is not about gender itself but the gender roles! f/m can very well be queer!). 

Let's take the biggest victim in this fandom: sirius.

Sirius’ portrayal concerning his gender and sexuality has heavily changed his characterization in the fanon. We have a character who is popularly headcanonned as trans and is it a coincidence that all their traits have changed from the og material? Sirius is suddenly vain, whiny, and dumb. Canon doesn't suggest this interpretation, it has to have stemmed from somewhere. It's the implicit bias. Sirius becomes a caricature of what a woman “should be”. When we focus on sexuality, there is the suddenly short twink sirius who has the same new traits- proving the point of fulfilling gender roles. These characteristics are a stand-in for the “female” role of the traditional relationship and it becomes more clear in the example of new age wolfstar. Remus is now the big alpha stoic manly man- the obvious stand-in for the “male” role. I could go on, it is apparent in the way you can see remus becomes a caretaker and sirius is taken care of.

The point I am trying to make is not to discourage gender/sexuality hc. I love them, keep them coming. But, why is female sirius not tall suddenly? It is not inherently bad at all to have a feminine and masculine pairing! But why do we need to change the constitutions of these characters to consume their relationship?

I'll keep dropping disclaimers because I hate being misinterpreted: I don't obviously mean every single person is doing this or that doing one of the things means doing the other too. 

Race:

It is related to the point above. I was personally so excited to see the popular desi james hc. Even in fanon, I have never seen such a prevalent and encouraged brown rep, it was quite sweet to come back to that. But the problem is the change of characteristics that comes with race hc. Desi james is also a manly dude who is big and buff as opposed to the white petite and delicate regulus within jegulus ship. The melanin is directly proportional to the manliness here. 

This is a propagation of race stereotypes. Maybe jegulus was a bad example because usually there are seen as blank templates. I will raise the argument that this can't be all we can come up with for blank canvases then. Either way, my point about race still stands when you repeatedly design interracial queer relationships so they fall into heteronormative roles. Anyway, same issue with wolfstar when there is a brown remus.

Canon, JKR, and hypocrisy:

Refusing to engage with source material is funny when we are picking characters out of it. the interpretations of the characters will be from their book. otherwise, they are just original characters with the same name. you can add onto the traits and a lot of the time fandom comes to a consensus regarding a few things! This is common in every fandom but I don't think I have seen such reluctance to not only critically engage with media but also shame others who do. We are surely in special circumstances with this fandom but I really do think jkr and how we navigate the fanon should be two different things.

Most of us don't condone jkr or even remotely agree with any nonsense she spews on the daily. Most of us can see the problematic nature of even consuming this media and staying in this fandom. It is one of the reasons I even left the fandom. Most of us are simply doing our best to engage carefully while distancing ourselves from her. So, it is quite laughable when some love to take the moral high ground for rejecting canon while still engaging with the same characters. (the rejection of canon in question being sirius’ height, lol)

(Sirius' height is quite a polarising fact apparently. Unfortunately, the point about height is also discussed so disingenuously. When I talk about sirius’ height, it is not really about him being 6 or 7 feet. It will not really impact my life. It is about what it represents. He is bimbofied as he becomes short. It's an issue of "WHY" again.)

Of course, this isn't an accusation of intentional bigotry from everyone here. The problem with this fandom is that the people in it tell themselves that it is progressive and to run away from the problematic creator as much as possible. We are not progressive if all we do is co-opt queer and racially diverse identities on such a superficial level. The bias manifests in subtle forms. I just wish we check ourselves from time to time, that's all. 

There is a lot of hostility when we try to discuss issues in the fanon. Things are interpreted in the most misguided way to just win the argument. Like I said in the beginning, we all just want to have a good time. That also means creating a welcoming space for vulnerable groups (especially when the same identities are used to pat yourselves on the backs for inclusivity points). I didn't even cover everything btw, I just wrote about the issues that concern me. queer and poc also partake in biased representations, I also probably have some biases that I didn't identify yet. I just think it would be super neat if everyone tried to make an effort to unlearn and engage with media without hurting anyone. 

I have other issues but they are all just super subjective opinions and smth I can ignore when others do. ex: I really don't like giving tragic backstories to bigots in the story. Not every supremacist loser has a trauma that forced them into oppressing people! There is also "tropeyfication" of all major ships. Just an overall issue in the reading world I think, though.

Anon, I didn't mean to make it preachy in any way btw. You probably asked for a silly little rant and I went full lecture mode, so I apologize for the tone shift!! I mentioned these because every other issue can be brought down to these imo. Like you said, I also don't have any fixation on everything being canon-compliant. I only complain by asking about the thought process behind certain kinds of changes, if that makes sense! I hope this wasn't a drag really and you can see where I am coming from. If I misspoke anywhere, pls lmk. Thanks for sharing your opinions too!!

This is a long long rant, anyone who read everything, you are wonderful and patient. Thank you for taking the time. This huge post and the content can make you think, “who cares this much?” or “it's not that serious” and yaa it really isn't that serious. The characters aren't real but we all are. the identities projected are real. so, it does matter to talk about this.

Everything said this is a fun place to be once you find your own corner in the playground.

[bereft-of-frogs]

is friday have list

☁️ currently reading/watching/listening to:

☢️ [ audiobook] Midnight in Chernobyl - Adam Higginbotham: I'm thinking a lot about how I'm scared of radiation sickness in the way that I'm scared of deadly viruses. Because there should be some fanfare. There should be a collective wailing when you get hit with enough radiation to kill you (or contract a virus like ebola or rabies). And there's not. There's just a 'that's a funny taste in my mouth...oh shit.' And the concept of the latency period/incubation period where you can feel fine but already be dead. Horror. Anyway. This is where I'm at.

🤖 [ audiobook ] Network Effect - Martha Wells: HELLO???? THEY DELETE ART???????????? That is where I got last night before I had to leave for an event and today I've been slammed at work so haven't had time to listen. I am screaming. I have been screaming for like 16 hours. What. I'm so stressed. The rollercoaster from 'ART attac?????' to 'ART DELETED???' has been the most stressed out I've been reading this series oh my god I have to finish this post so I can go listen while stressfully doing my work tasks

👻 [ book ] The Haunting of Room 904 - Erica T Wurth: Possibly the worst book my horror book club has subjected me to and I'm only like 50 pages in. When I started being like 'what a second....this is really bad' I skimmed some reviews and most of them were like 'strong start, but fell apart.' So. I'm in the 'strong' part. It gets worse apparently. Fuck. It’s already devolved into me just highlighting lines I find painful, I might not make it…

🌌 [ tv ] The Expanse: Despite my whining, I'm coming around on the change I hated, mostly because it was pretty angsty fun to watch Naomi plead with Drummer not to fire on the Rocinante. This breakup is the stuff of legends. Drummer calling after her, 'I'm sorry -- if I killed them I'm sorry!' but Naomi's not having it...ok fine yeah that was good. They're really speedrunning Abaddon's Gate, so there's not a lot of time to sit with being annoyed with any changes. Amos has also been great both with the 'oh my god Holden is going crazy' arc and the hilarious way he shooed the camera crew out the airlock like 'yup, in you go, bye-bye'.

🛸 [ tv ] The X-Files: Episodes are still good but I'm really starting to miss Vancouver's gloom. The change to the atmosphere when production moved to LA is increasingly apparent, and while the writing is still good....yeah I miss the gloomy weather and dense pine forests.

🤖 [ tv ] Murderbot: I still don't like the Sanctuary Moon sections. I appear to be the only one. Everything else is fine, I'm not bothered by much else, but the Sanctuary Moon scenes are just tipped way too far into the secondhand embarrassment valley for me, so even if I like the way its being used in the narrative, every time it's actually on screen all I can do is cringe.

☁️ posting:

I'm posting stuff and stashing it here instead of making dedicated posts about it for ✨reasons✨ don't ask because the answer will just be '✨insecurity✨’

🌲 new chapter of way out there, extremely niche long!fic, stuff’s actually getting underway now

☄️ dipping my toes into not just bothering tumblr with Expanse-posting, but ao3 as well. have a book tag oneshot (in theory, first of several…I have a list. We’ll see how this one goes I’m always worried when first posting in a new fandom that either people will be like ‘wow…it’s incredible but every word you just said is wrong’ or something else insane like that the specific metaphor for loneliness I used is actually a dog whistle for the most toxic fandom discourse and I’ll be featured in a callout post within the hour. This is what it’s like being in my brain.)

☁️ to do:

Long run!

I should probably pick up the sleeves on that sweater because if I don't do it NOW it will probably sit in the project bag for another month.

I need to figure out where the draft I wrote last weekend is on the scale of 'salvageable by a deadline', 'salvageable but I need to take my time', and 'start over (for the third time)'. So. That's happening.

It is supposed to be rainy because once again someone has taught the weather what a weekend is and the weather apparently hates us and wants us to be unhappy, so I'll probably just be inside. Playing video games/watching movies/hanging out with void creature, idk maybe I'll try and blow through the 250 pages of this godawful book club book so I can be free of it. Probably going to be pretty boring but boring is okay too lol

Have a good weekend!

[space-writes]

hey! what does your writing process look like? how do you take something from an idea to a draft to Done?

hello!

my process varies a bit depending on the project, but it goes a little something like this:

have Idea

scribble notes about Idea until it starts getting unwieldy

do some form of planning or outlining - for oneshots that's usually just a bullet point rough outline of events in the writing document; for novels it's anything from a document outline to multiple documents of planning and world/character building

write a rough draft as fast as humanly possible. square brackets everywhere. literally putting every thought possible on the page

then I usually like to let it sit for a bit - for small projects that's usually like a few days to a few weeks; for bigger ones i like to let it sit for a lot longer

the second draft is always a full rewrite: literally writing the Entire Thing, Word By Word, Again. I like doing this because it helps me not just get complacent about what I wrote 'ehhh it's good enough' and also helps me figure out re-ordering of things like scenes and story beats without feeling stressed about messing up what I've already written

(usually before I do a second draft I'll write some notes on what I want to change - again, for oneshots this is a small bullet list; for novels it's a fuckoff mchuge bullet list.)

then I enter the endless phase of 'read the thing, comment mark it with things I want to fix -> fix the comments -> repeat until I can't find any more mistakes'

then I'll leave it a bit (or not, if i'm impatient), and go in and do a pass for all the crutch words I lean on - and usually i have a list of ones that i've used too much in the particular project as well - and cut the ones that aren't doing anything useful

and then the final stage is spelling, grammar, and I used to read it aloud myself but now i found a TTS program that does it for me which has been EVEN BETTER than reading aloud, because I can read the thing with my eyes closed and thus 'see' all my words in a completely new light. seriously, this is maybe the thing that helps fix awkward phrasing the MOST

then, because my final stage is normally posting on AO3, i'll throw the story up, read it through in draft form on my phone one last time to catch any last minute fuck ups before i hit post

somewhere in there i'll do research if i need to for specific things, and if my beta is free i get them to look it over (usually they're busy so i just throw things at the internet anyway)

i do a lot of passes! it's kind of a lot of work, but I know my process well enough by now to know where things are in the pipeline, and if they need an extra redraft, or more structural work, or more prose polishing or whatever

with my novels I have a big list of things to look out for gleaned from various craft books as well, along with troubleshooting methods for when i get stuck, so if the story needs those I do those

(and then there's AQoT, which i had to leave marinating for almost a year while i chewed the Big Problem over in my brain four hundred times until i had enough distance from the frustration of the third draft to actually come back and fix it)

anyway that was. a lot. i hope it's vaguely interesting!

(and feel free to jump in with your process - as can anyone else reading this, i love seeing how people Work Differently. usually bc i'm looking for Methods To Steal)

[blue-thief]

Ok. Thoughts on the Itoshi Sibs / their parallels with Isagi?

HELLO this took forever for me to answer because summer school and the sadness. as you know.

also i went too crazy with tying blue lock into my fixation with japanese nationalism so it got way too complex and i got scared but now i'm just gonna make that its own post (<- said the same thing about bsd. that analysis about bsd's connection with japanese nationalism has been sitting in my docs for a year now i think)

(smh this is what happens when the japanese imperial army almost wipes out your entire bloodline /gen /srs)

anyway. all that waiting to say that rin is... just some guy to me

usually a fw anime boys named rin. esp if they're the sworn rival of the plain protagonist. not necessarily this one though

i have no clue why he doesn't scratch my brain properly. he just doesn't. i need to spend a good three hours staring at the ceiling at night to figure that out

when you first sent me this i didn't really care for sae much either. now i do

that's how long this has been sitting in my drafts 😃😃

(i've written and scrapped thousands of words for this ask sob sob)

(this answer wasn't even formatted this way originally)

i've probably told you the story of how sae grew on me before but like

i don't plan out my fics right

i do play out random scenes in my head to test out if i like them or not

(shivers because updating my fic is another thing that is taking forever.......)

and i was just fucking around with random jokes kaiser and sae could say to each other

then i imagined sae smiling

and i was like "what the fuck... why is that so endearing........"

that was the turning point but it really was a lot of sitting and contemplating sae's character honestly

to really understand him and why he'd be friends with kaiser

and sae is kinda just like me frfr

that guy can't do anything other than soccer/football. he has nothing going on beyond that

and yeah. yeah... i get that.......

it's the reason why i like a bunch of other bllk characters but it's most pronounced with sae yk

(SORRY MR. SNUFFY)

and like. just his inability to be a normal fucking person 😭😭 too real

anyway those are my general itoshi brothers thoughts

now for the parallels part.

(this is the part that killed me and i wanna go more in-depth. but i'm saving that for another post. because holy shit my original idea was so fucking ambitious)

i had other thoughts and god i wish i wrote that stuff down

but the major thing i want to get into here is dependence

isagi is independent. soo independent it's kinda crazy

this was outlined most during the second selection with bachira where he had to learn to play by himself

meanwhile there's rin who seems independent on the surface

however, rin has always been dependent on sae in one way or another

when they were younger, rin was dependent on sae to take care of and guide him

rin also depended heavily on sae on the field

now that they are older, sae's attempt to shake rin off has just made rin's dependence on sae even more intense, just in a different way

rin's only motivation to play soccer/football had been to "crush" sae

...but now he's met isagi

and his obsession has found a new object

with the recent chapters, now we know he places isagi and sae on a similar level in his personal hierarchy, and his desire to destroy sae has bled into rin's feelings toward isagi

while rin has only one rival, the same can't be said for isagi

isagi gains rivals like pokemon, and while they have all played a significant roll in isagi's development as a person and a character, his obsession doesn't consume him. in the PXG vs BM match, he's doesn't fully comprehend the effect he's had on kaiser and rin

and mannn i wish i could find this analysis, but it's gone now

but someone compared isagi's desire to "devour" to rin and nagi's desire to "kill"

I WISH I COULD REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT THEY SAID

but from what i remember, "devouring" someone is temporarily defeating them, but both parties ultimately improve so there's room for them to meet again and help each other improve even more

however, "killing" someone is defeating them completely so they're never able to play/improve ever again

which outlines the fact that while isagi can be a little bitch on the field, he wants his rivals to improve alongside him, and in the end, he wants the best for people (in terms of soccer/football)

which is why he never became overly-dependent on bachira and why he treats midfielders as actual human beings 😭😭

isagi is independent, but he pushes for the people around him to be just as independent

the itoshi brothers are different though

rin is codependent on sae, and you could say his hatred/obsession with isagi is a different type of codependency

but that thing about treating midfielders as human beings...

uh. that doesn't really apply to rin

sae is somewhat similar with how he "tamed" shidou but it's not THAT imbalanced lmao

there's also how the three of them are on different places of the striker-midfielder spectrum

in-universe and within the fandom, rin is perceived as japan's ultimate striker. his raw shooting power + metavision makes him perfect for this position.

however sae, another metavision user, is the perfect midfielder

then there's isagi who's tried emulating rin's play style at first but is ultimately most similar to sae, leading people to say that isagi is better suited to be a midfielder rather than a striker

while rin represents what the ultimate japanese striker is, something isagi is trying to reach, sae's path is one that isagi could easily fall down instead

many people have theorized that sae became a midfielder to improve rin's chances at becoming a better striker. sae may be considered to have a strong ego, but if this turns out to be true, that might not be the case lmao

errm. idk how to end this off. sorry for the wait sob sob

[cripplecharacters]

hi! i saw the ask you recently posted regarding the amount and date of asks currently in your queue, and im not sure if i understand the response fully. as you said your queue currently contains asks from early 2020, does this mean that at the moment the average time for an ask to be answered is about 4 years? this is not a complaint or anything of the sort, i understand and appreciate the massive amount of work you put into these answers - im just asking to know whether i should send in a question myself, as i usually dont work on building a character for several years, so i would just be burdening you with yet another ask that would no longer be applicable by the time of an answer. again i apologize if this comes off as rude and i really dont intend to be demanding, i just want to inform myself on how this blog works so i dont add to your workload needlessly. thanks for all the great work you do here!

Hello!

To clarify: The average time for an ask to be answered is NOT four years.

There isn't really an average wait time per ask since it differs so greatly but I'd say it's usually no more than a couple months? Somebody can correct me if I'm wrong though😅

Depending on the ask, it may be answered almost instantly and chucked into the queue or it may sit in our inbox for a while before somebody can get to it. This all depends on a few factors, including:

What's the ask about? If it's something that multiple mods can answer (Such as questions about autism, mobility aids, etc.), then it will likely be answered sooner. On the other hand, an ask about something more specific that fewer mods can answer (Such as progressive vision loss or albinism) will likely take a bit longer.

How detailed is the ask? If it's a question that's more simple and can be answered without as much effort/energy, it will usually make it's way into the queue quicker than a question that's more detailed/specific to the asker's story/characters, which will take a bit longer.

What topics does the ask deal with? Sometimes there are asks with heavier topics that can be more difficult to deal with. In my experience, I find that I have trouble spending too much time on these asks at once and I'll usually draft an answer and then go back to them after a few days.

This is by no means an official 'why your ask hasn't been answered yet' post, just some clarification and a few of my own observations but hopefully it's helpful!

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

Editing to add:

A huge part of why there’s such a big backlog is also that, for around a year or more, there was really only one active mod on the blog.

As you can imagine, this blog is kind of a lot for just one person to run. So the backlog built as it was much harder for just one person to do it.

For reference, we now have 10-11 mods, which helps us be able to do more questions.

Hope that helps for some context!

Mod Sparrow

[writingsoftarnishedsilver]

Let me preface this by saying I mean this in a genuine way because I know it could be taken differently but how are you able to write and post so much in a given week? What is your process? Do you have a lot of WIPs going at the same time? Or just a lot of free time? I feel lucky if I manage 1,000 a week 😥 is there a method to it?

Hello! Thank you for your question. I appreciate the genuine interest instead of being like this person and discrediting my work.

There are a few different aspects that go into my writing process and how I'm able to write so much and so often! I answered a similar question before, but I'm happy to elaborate and try to get into more specifics!

Before I do though, I do want to point out that the speed you write has nothing to do with how good you are as an author! Some of the most well renowned authors are FAMOUSLY slow (i.e. think George R.R. Martin), whereas Nora Roberts, for example, has written multiple full length novels in a single year.

The main things I think it comes down to are:

Experience

Genre

Who you are as a person

Personally, I tend to find that writing is sort of like... like a reflex? Or maybe like working out a muscle? It can be a bit foreign at first and take time to find your style, but when you've done enough of it, it becomes a bit like second nature, especially when you write the same genre over and over, and do a lot of reading in that genre.

I have been reading novels since I was young. I've also been reading/writing fan fiction since I was 12 or 13, so over a decade ago now, and I've always done romance. Which is to say, I've been writing a long time with the same themes! But if you asked me to write a mystery novel or true crime or something, it'd probably take me an actual eternity.

My general process for writing starts with just a loose outline/skeleton of what the story will be. So, really just basic paragraphs of what I want to happen and what the general mood or setting is. For example, I've been working on Chapter 14 for my fic Playing for Keeps, and these are the first two paragraphs of my outline/plan:

Sebastian and Chouette wake up to find that their Prefect’s Bathroom post has gone viral overnight. As they make their way to breakfast in the Great Hall, eyes follow them, and other students are whispering, giggling, and outright staring at them. The attention is something Sebastian thrives on. He leans into it as he overhears students speculating about what exactly happened that night.

Chouette, on the other hand, feels a little overwhelmed. She’s never been the center of attention like this before, not for anything good, anyway. But now, people are looking at her and seeing her as Sebastian Sallow’s girlfriend. Meanwhile, she doesn’t even know if they are official because they haven’t talked about it. But Sebastian seems to be rolling with it, which only makes her nerves tangle even more.

Second, I have a work from home tech job, so I am literally at my computer all the time. I don't have to wait for free time after work or whatever, I can write on my lunch break or whenever I have down time because the tab is literally just... open.

I also just... don't have that many hobbies. Like besides reading and writing, I... play video games or spend time with my boyfriend. I don't really watch TV or movies, nor am I very extroverted so I don't make plans with friends super often. My point is, I guess I'm just kinda lame and this is just what I do with my spare time.

And then, thirdly, yes, I have soooo maaaany WIPs. I like to write a bunch of stuff in parallel so if I get writer's block on one thing, I can just move onto another. Right now I have over 10 drafts on Tumblr alone of unfinished fics at various stages of completeness, and that doesn’t even scrape the surface of the numerous half-baked stories just sitting on my computer.

Another thing to consider is that lately I’ve been doing a lot of writing for asks which I personally find a lot easier because the plot is already given to me! Like for me one of the hardest parts of writing is coming up with the storyline, so when that’s already done for me it’s like a weight lifted from my shoulders. I also find one-shots infinitely easier than weaving together a full length novel.

Recently, like very recently, I've also had the absolute pleasure of chatting more with other writers in the fandom like @newdreamlove95 and this has also been WONDERFUL for helping with planning/revising/and writing in general.

Anyway... I hope this helps and/or answers your question Anon. Feel free to send more questions if you have them.

[pluralprompts]

Hello! I was wondering if you had any resources for reading about or writing systems?

A few of your posts have really inspired me and I wanna make sure whatever I put out as more "serious" work is a better representation than just "what this one headmate thinks plurality might be like", especially for other system types/origins!

Thanks :3

Hm... Well, I can't recommend @writing-plurals enough for advice, honestly! As for my own advice, here's three posts where I've given advice before:

Post 1 (general tips for writing plural characters)

Post 2 (general tips for writing plurality)

Post 3 (avoiding stereotypes and challenging the fears that come with creating representation)

I think the best thing to do in order to get to know a certain group better is just to talk to people of that group (or at least, read their posts and works about what their lives are like). Especially since no two lives will be exactly alike; the more people you talk and listen to, the more patterns you'll be able to notice, and the more material you'll have to use as inspiration (which is especially useful, since you never know what will or will not work for your story until you actually sit down to write it). Plus, most folks are happy to answer questions about their system and how it works! Or at the very least, most will correct common generalizations they've seen that don't actually apply to all systems. It's better to ask and risk getting rejected than not give yourself a chance to get any input at all, in my opinion.

On that note, it's alright to write things clumsily, so long as they're genuine. Plurality can be difficult to portray all the nuances and details of, as I've found through my own experience. It's alright if your work sounds clumsy or cheesy at some points – trying to talk about one's identity and personal experiences often is. As annoying as it is, such personal topics just aren't always going to translate perfectly into seamless prose, especially if you're trying to introduce the audience to new information about something that occurs in the real world. Finding that balance between informative "nonfiction" and the plot and flow of a fiction story is difficult (I think that's why a lot of language education videos have just fully embraced that awkward in-between and refuse to apologize for it, and honestly, all power to 'em for that, at least they've found a way to own it). Don't give up on a scene or idea just because it sounds clumsy, especially if it's your first few drafts. Sometimes, clumsy writing is the only way through the muck of it all (even if only on your first few attempts).

If you need references or examples, we have a lot of works on this blog under the pluralprose tag, or you could go to Ao3 and search under the Multiplicity/Plurality tag (they have longer works there than we get, so I definitely recommend it if you want an example of how a longer story could work). Reading – and giving yourself time to analyze what you're reading (what you like, how the author does something, any stylistic choices you might want to implement into your own work, etc.) – is important as a writer, after all! Especially here, where those works can double as resources for understanding other systems and how they might like to be written about.

I hope this helps!!

[7wanderingpaws]

Hello after a looong time!

It’s been a very long time since I visited this blog.

As I’ve found quite a few asks sitting in the ask box, I felt like I need to write a post, hopefully reconnecting with everyone who still pays a visit to this precious blog of mine.

I am sure it’s quite obvious I haven’t updated anything at all the past couple of years. It feels a little back-stabbing writing this as I know many are waiting for fic updates 🫠 I am terribly sorry for leaving everyone hanging like that. I am even more sorry to say again, that I haven’t had time to work on anything, nor do I think I can ever manage again. 💔

I always thought I wouldn’t be one of those but here I am. 😔 if you’d like to read more, please open the whole post. If not, I totally understand why you would be upset, sorry again.

My life has changed a lot after I found a job that has very messy schedules. I don’t (and can’t have) any routines and when I don’t work I am recovering from work 🥹. My life changed completely.

And there is something I’d like to share with you 😊

I met someone very special. I know it sounds a tad crazy, maybe even cliché, but this man is everything green flag that I have ever incorporated into my stories (whether shared here or just sitting in my drafts on my laptop). Sometimes it gets almost creepy and I get scared he read my stories. Because how can someone tick off so many things? Say the exact things? He doesn’t do social media, so I know none of my muses are true, which makes the whole thing even crazier.

And the best part, he feels completely the same as me. I feel incredibly lucky and blessed, because for many years I was quite sure I wouldn’t find anyone with whom I can feel as comfortable, as cared for and as safe as I feel with him. Looks and personality are both just perfect for me.

And I think for years that I was writing, I was imagining how I’d like to be treated in a relationship, to have a mature partner who makes me feel giddy and at the same time is intellectually challenging (in a good way!) too. With him, everything just clicked. Turns out, this feeling actually exists, it’s not a complete romance book hoax hehe.

I am not even sure why I am writing this here, but since my stories are all romantic and very relationship focused, I wanted to share this with you. I am good, I’m trying to be an independent woman, completely accountable for her life, spendings, life-style. And now someone who is in love (thought it’s impossible).

If you read all the way here, I am wishing and hoping that you are healthy and well too.

[delopsia]

Hello! Happy Christmas! I just binged all of the Rhett x reader x bob series and plz tell me if I’m wrong but I’m a girl who loooooooooves angst, so. What does my fav thruple do in the event that they have a fight? I know they have a solid foundation but with 3 people together it’s bound to happen… so lmk! Thank you!!

Hello! Happy...not...Christmas 🧍‍♂️ hi, welcome to episode 457 of me leaving things in my drafts and forgetting about them.

They all handle their anger very differently, but there's a general rule that Bobby has instilled one general law for arguments. Take time away to cool off and go into a shared room when you're ready to address what happened.

Rhett blows up all of a sudden and then runs off. It only usually happens when he's stressed; he's akin to a volcano early in the relationship. Though he's recently learned to say something along the lines of, "Hey, I'm one inconvenience away from blowing up, I'm going off on my own, and I'll come back when I don't feel like a ticking time bomb."

He's mostly just loud during times like these, slamming doors and tears off in his truck to get some air, but he's clear in the head when he finally comes back. He's either the first or the last to venture into the living room to talk things out.

Bobby tries to concede at first, give up for the sake of everyone else, but Rhett's very, very good at calling him out on it, which then dissolves into actual arguing. But then, without warning, he shuts down mid-fight. One minute he's raising his voice, the next he's realizing what he's doing and suddenly can't speak anymore. He's very prone to darting out of the room, wide-eyed, unable to speak another word.

He's generally the most upset afterward, teary eyed as he apologizes and needing a good, long snuggle to truly calm down. There was a big blowout argument that ended in Rhett and the Reader needing a lot of cooldown time. But Bob came around incredibly fast and spent hours sitting on the couch, waiting for them, and dissolved into a mess of tears. He's a little bit fragile when it comes to arguments, and it's a big reason why post-argument times are so soft and quiet.

That being said, most disagreements are just small bickering. With three, there's almost always someone around to intervene or find a solution that the other two didn't initially see. It's a bonus of being vastly different from each other; there's a variety of perspectives brought to everything.