#this post is mostly for guys but if it breaks containment ill kiss others on the forehead too

[linktothefags]

What if I were to softly smooch y'all on the forehead

Just

Mwah!!♥️♥️

[norisxfics]

NCT 127′s Dorm Maid: Ch.3 - Johnny

Title: NCT 127’s Dorm Maid

Genre: smut

Chapter: 3

Characters: Johnny x OC/reader

Chapter masterlist

Previous Chapter

Contains: fingering, thigh riding, slight choking, dom johnny, squirting

Summary: When NCT’s Dorm maid falls ill, her niece takes her place and becomes NCT’s new dorm maid. NCT weren’t unfamiliar with the girl as she has substituted for her aunt many times before. But this time it was different, this time she was going to become their permanent dorm maid as her aunt was forced to retire because of her health. NCT members quickly grow fond of the girl, but little did she know this also meant that she was going to be a hell of a lot more busy than she expected.

Authors Note: It would be really nice and appreciated if you guys could reblog this if you enjoyed it so that I can get more readers. Liking a post shows me you enjoy it but no one will ever see a content creators content if all you guys do is like the post. Especially now since I’ve heard the tags are being fucked up and not all posts are showing up in the tags

When the boys found out I also play video games on my time off we would often play together online whenever we weren’t busy. We mostly played games like PUBG and other FPS games, sometimes MMO’s. Haechan was the one who most often played with me, he would thank me for playing with him and then proceed to whine about how sometimes the boys won’t play with him even if they’ve got nothing going on. It was cute.

Often times when I’m doing my job he would ask me to watch him play or join him. I would usually tell him to wait until I finish my job but then he would whine and hug my arm, trying to act cute, as he would beg me “It’s just for a few minutes!” It never did end up being only a “few minutes” but I guess you could say those moments are like a break for me. 

This time it was both Johnny and Haechan asking me to watch and play with them. I would often help Haechan out as well whenever they played games going against each other I would even lean over Haechan to show him some tricks on the keyboard he could use in the game, Johnny would call it cheating, but I would fight him back saying there was no rules against assisting. 

“Noona, you play for me, show him how hard you can beat him like you did to me the other day,” Haechan got off his chair and I chuckled “don’t mind if I do, time to get wrecked Johnny,” I took my place in the chair and started a round with Johnny, and let’s just say that I totally wrecked Johnny. When the round was over Haechan high-fived me and and Johnny let out a sigh “You only won because I let you,”

“Only a sore loser would try to claim that,” I gave a wink and smirked at him, he raised a brow at me. 

“I have to go, the dreamies wanna hang out, you guys have fun!” Haechan said as he grabbed his phone in wallet, sliding them into his pockets. 

“Bye Haechan, have fun,” I turned to Johnny when he left and smirked “one more round?” Johnny immediately sat up on his chair and we started yet another round. Guess who won? 

That’s right me. 

“Hah! Get wrecked Johnny, I just made you my bitch,” I gave him a smug smirk and dusted off the non-existent dust off my shoulders. I stood up and fixed my skirt “anyway, I should get back to work, I’ll let you cry it out while I clean,” As I turned to walk away Johnny grabbed my wrist and I turned to him. He stared at me with a brow raised “hold on just a minute, who said you’re dismissed?”

“Huh? I mean, I have to get my work done...” 

“You work for us so you answer to us, besides I have somethings to talk about with you,”

“Well, technically I work for SM, SM is the one sending me payche-”

He rolled his eyes, suddenly pulling me to sit on his thigh “First of all I’d like to talk about what you’re wearing today, it’s kind of inappropriate don’t you think? Wearing a short skirt while doing a job that requires bending over a lot,” I had forgotten about that honestly, I intentionally wore a skirt to catch their attention. Ever since that day with Mark my sexual demon that I’ve been suppressing as been slowly coming out. It was exciting, that night, the risk of getting caught, it excited me. 

I wanted to tease the boys. 

I wanted the excitement. 

But I had forgotten about all that while we were playing games, so I was now genuinely surprised. 

“Um...well, I can exp-” 

“Who said you could talk? I’m not done,” 

He gripped onto my thigh, hand slowly moving up “not to mention your actions today as well, the way you were on your knees earlier, wiping the floor in front of me, I bet you did that on purpose, you wanted me to see didn’t you?”

He was absolutely right on point, when I was cleaning the floor I lifted my ass up more when I saw Johnny enter the room, I wanted him to look at me. 

I subconsciously licked over my bottom lip, biting down on it as his hand moved up my skirt and over to my ass, while his other hand moved to caress my cheek “and what was that just now hmm? Bending over in excuse to help Haechan, your ass right in my face, you’re just asking for it aren’t you?” 

I didn’t answer, I was too distracted by his dark and firm tone of voice. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t wet right now. 

His hand soon moved to my throat, thumb caressing against my jawline before he gave a small squeeze to my throat “Answer me.”

I tried so hard not to squirm “Y-yes,”

“Yes what?”

“Yes, Sir...”

He gave my ass a squeeze, his other and moved to the back of my head, pulling me closer to him as his lips lingered over mine for a moment, half lidded eyes looking down into mine before his lips finally connected with mine. Our lips moved in unison as a it slowly get deeper, and more desperate, more desperate from my side that is. My hips involuntarily began to move, grinding against his thigh in a slow pace. 

Johnny broke the kiss and mumbled “eager little kitten aren’t you?” he gave my ass another squeeze as he encouraged me to continue riding out his thigh. I held onto his shoulders as my gaze went back to his lips, our lips soon connected again, resuming back into a heated kiss. He tightened his thigh muscle, pushing his thigh up against me, a whimper leaving my lips and into the kiss. 

“Fuck you’re so wet right now baby girl, it’s leaking through your panties,” I could feel my cheeks turn red “such a dirty little girl,” he smacked my ass and I jumped a little, biting down on my lip “you like that huh?” he smirked and I nodded.

He buried his face in the crook of my neck, kissing and softly sucking on the skin. I let out a soft quiet moan, followed by another as he spanked me again before gripping my hips, pushing my down harder against his thigh. My hips began to move more eagerly against him. 

He then held my hips in place and I let out a whimper as he stopped me. 

“Stand up,” he ordered. 

And so I did. I stood in front of him. 

“Lift your skirt up for me, baby” 

I gripped onto the hem of my skirt, lifting it up from him to see me white lace panties. He tapped my inner thigh, I took that as a signal to spread my legs more, so I did. He hooked his fingers into my panties and tug them half way down my thighs. 

“What was that you said earlier? That I’m you’ve made me your bitch?” 

His fingers slipped between my thighs, softly grazing over my wet folds. 

“I think you got it all wrong, because I just made you my bitch,”

I shuddered at his words. I was a huge sub and Johnny seemed to know that. I guess a dom will always know a sub when he sees one, right?

His middle finger slipped in between my fold as he dragged it from my entrance to my clit, teasing it a bit before he paused. 

“Want me to keep touching you? To make you feel good?” 

I nodded “Yes, sir,”

“Then tell me who’s dirty little bitch are you?”

“Yours, sir” 

“My what?”

“I’m your dirty little bitch,”

“Good girl,” 

I let out a whimper when those two small words came out of his own mouth. He began to rub my clit, pressing his fingers against it, he moved his fingers in a circular motion pressing firmly against me. I gripped tightly onto my skirt, pursing my lips to muffle my moans. 

Hi moved his finger between my folds and began to tease my entrance “you’re such a little whore, getting so damn,” he pushed his finger into me, a moan escaping my lips “wet for me,” his finger pumped inside of me, pressing against my wet walls. 

“What am I gonna do with you?”

He added a second digit into me, pumping his fingers faster and harder inside of me. I let out a louder moan, covering my mouth quickly with one hand. 

“Even your moans sound so dirty,” he chuckled. He curled his fingers up against my walls, finding my sweet spot. I bit into my hand to muffle my moans and whimpers. My hips were shaking and it was becoming hard to stay on my feet. 

“Do you wanna come for me, baby?”

“Y-yes sir...”

“Then beg for it,”

His fingers began to move painfully slow, I let out a whine in protest “Please...please don’t stop, please let me cum daddy,” 

“daddy huh? I like the way it sounds coming from your dirty little whore mouth, say it again,”

“fuck, daddy please, please make me cum for you daddy,” I begged desperately, as I squirmed. 

“Good girl,” 

He inserted a third digit and began to roughly and quickly thrust his fingers into me, making to to curl them against my sweet spot, hitting it repeatedly I gripped onto his arm, moaning loudly, forgetting to keep myself quiet, as my body shook with pleasure, my walls tightening around his fingers as I reached my climax. 

My juices squirting out onto his hand and onto the floor. 

“Fuck...you’re squirter huh?”

He pulled his fingers out and I sunk down onto my knees, catching my breath. I looked up at him to see him licking his fingers clean as he grabbed his phone before pointing it at me “can I take a picture? You know, in memory of who exactly wrecked who tonight,” he smirked down at me and I blushed. 

“I’ll take your silence as a yes?” He held the phone up at and angle and took a photo. I didn’t mind of course, or I would have said no. 

“You should clean your mess up and get back to work,”

I nodded.

I had a feeling he was going to start teasing me about this, and I was right. The next time I played a game with him and Haechan online and “get wrecked” would be mentioned, he would text me the photo with a reminder “You mean like how you got wrecked the other night?”

[xspacedemonx]

i have a post request! hank evans gets jealous of the reader because their best friend is hanging out. hank doesnt know that the friend is married and although the reader and him aren’t together, he cant help getting angy.

Summary: the reader's friend stanly is in town visiting for a few days for a business trip. Stanly and the reader hang out while he is here but hank (charlie) on the other thinks its something different so he fills with rage.

Y/n was a the diner where she work waiting tables. She goes over to a table with a guy there.

"Hi welcome to- Stanly oh my god"

"Hey y/n " he gets up gives her a tight hug. Stanly and y/n have been friends since middle school. They sit down begin talking.

"So stan the man what brings you here"

"I am here on a business trip dealing with investments " he says then sips his coffee. We were there talking for fifteen minutes. In walk in Charlie for his lunch break like always. Me and stanly were laughing at a joke he told. Charlie looks over sees his lip twitch a bit but he took a deep breath walks over to them.

"Hey y/n" he says cheerful to contain his jealousy and not have his other self come out and mess up. She looks up at Charlie smiles happily

"Hi Charlie here for lunch"

"Yeah I am" she gets up

"Ill get your usual " she walks away Charlie sits down in her place. He eyes the guy a bit then speaks up.

"Charlie Baileygates nice to meet you" he holds out his hand to him. Stanly took his hand and introduced himself.

"Stanley nice to meet you too" Charlie twitch a bit. Charlie tries to calm down so Hank doesn't rear his ugly head. Y/n comes back with Charlie's lunch.

"Here you go Charlie " she smiles softly

"Thank you love" he smiles looks at her sees her blushing stanly get up

"I should get going see you later tonight" stan says hugging her tightly.

"Yeah meet at my place" she kiss his cheek softly. That was the final twich for Charlie. He started shaking hank was taking over his body. This shouldn't happen he shouldn't be getting jealous him and y/n aren't together they're just friends but hank thinks so other wise they like her no they love her they been there for them since his first wife left him and he was left alone to raise his boys and became very close when irene abandoned him.

"Well if she isn't busy sucking faces with me " he makes a kissy face y/n frowned look hank just smirks at her and stanly "or doing something else with her mouth" y/n eyes widen realize that it is not Charlie talking its hank.

"Stanley im so sorry he was just joking around ill see you later okay" Stanley nods smiles softly left the diner. Y/n sat down at the table.

"Hank why are you here?" She ask softly hank stares at her.

"Cause you were all over that douche and gonna be with him tonight you are hurt my heart and Charlie's well mostly Charlie's your our girl" she is shocked at what she heard.

"Your girl.." she says softly. Hank nods

"Yeah Charlie had the hugest crush on you he has like you for so long now" she smiles softly holds his hand.

"May I speak to Charlie please hank" hanks nods slowly sighs

"Y/n...uh im so so sorry i get it if I ruined anything" she moves sits next to him leans in kiss him softly.

"Don't be sorry its okay and you and hank shouldn't get jealous cause Stanley is a old friend of mine plus his is married and gay " she chuckles softly. Charlie smiles at her blushes feeling slightly embarrassed. He holds her hand in his.

"So will you be my girlfriend.." he says softly looks into her eyes. Y/n smiles widely.

"Yes Charlie I will be your girlfriend "

"What about me sugar" hank said. She sighs softly smiles

"Yeah hank sure " she chuckles softly kisses him softly.

[emiefaunwrites]

So a while ago, @conicalcrowd posted a part of their Transformers AU that just so happens to be one of my own headcanons (just not in the Transformers AU...in my own Ishileon world heh). And I said I was going to write it, but got caught up with Broken Arrow.

BUT! I need a break from work. So Imma write it now! So here you guys go - long distance Ishileon. Again, basing it off my UK lifestyle so sorry if University and College are all confused! (I hope you like this Conical!)

Oh - trigger warning for mild alcohol misuse under the stars(but they're in their 20s so its not underage!)

********************************

• After leaving Hope's Peak, Taka pursues his dream and starts studying Politics in University.

• Leon gets a sports scholarship as well at the same Uni so they end up seeing each other just as much as before.

• That is, until Taka's offered six months of studying in America.

• He initially wants to turn it down, worrying too much about his and Leon's relationship. But when Leon finds out, he won't let him even think of refusing.

• So after long nights discussing it over and over, Taka accepts and has to start preparing to leave in a couple of months.

• They make plans on how they'll stay in touch - online calls every other night to catch up and daily emails as well.

• It all sounds like it'll be fine. It's got to be fine, right?

• Well...

• It doesn't start so well when Leon falls ill the day before Taka leaves. And given his reaction to illnesses, they can't say goodbye.

• Taka has to ask his father to drive him to the airport, leaving Leon asleep in his bedroom with no clue that Taka has even left.

• So when Leon's mum pops in when he's starting to recover and has to break the news that Taka left early a couple of days ago, Leon feels so bad that he just cries into his pillow, clutching one of Taka's jumpers to his chest.

• Once everything has settled though, their plan stays mostly in place for a couple of months.

• But Taka's schedule starts getting tighter and tighter with more and more deadlines. And Leon has baseball games that fall on their video call nights more and more often.

• So they start to feel the strain, despite doing everything they can to keep in touch regularly.

• Leon had given up smoking for Taka but his anxiety started to sky rocket so the cigarettes returned.

• So does the drinking.

• Taka would often log onto the call to find Mondo on the receiving end, awkwardly explaining how he'd gotten a drunken call from Leon and had to come keep him company. And that Leon, more often than not, had passed out before Taka could log on.

• This triggers all of Taka's anxieties in return. He would always stay strong on the calls, be it Leon or Mondo he would talk to, only to burst into tears once it was over.

• But they manage. No matter what, neither boy gives up on their relationship and before they know it, six months has past.

• Leon can barely contain his excitement, needing his parents to drive him to the airport because they're worried he'll lose concentration at the wheel.

• Taka's flight ends up an hour delayed and poor Leon is about to explode when the board says his flight has finally landed.

• 'Where is he?!'

• 'Sweetheart, calm down, he'll be here soon...'

• 'I can't see him!'

• 'Just wait a little longer...'

• 'I can't!'

• And then he doesn't have to. Because there he is - amongst the crowd, frowing characteristically as he obviously searches for Leon.

• 'TAKA!'

• Leon's shout is wet with tears and happiness as he charges forward, unaware that his father has been filming the entire time.

• As Taka spots him, it takes everything in his power not to run forward as well. So instead, with an enormous grin, he drops his suitcase and opens his arms just in time for Leon crash right into his chest.

• All worries about appearances are out the window as they collapse to the ground, sobbing amd laughing into each other's neck and shoulders, limbs tangled in knots.

• Eventually, Taka gains his compsure just enough to stand, scoop Leon into his Koala position, spinning them around as they kiss for the first time in half a year - all of the emotions that they've struggled with meaning nothing now that they're together again.

• Leon doesn't let go of Taka for the entire journey home. Seriously - he stays firmly Koala'd until they reach the car and then plasters him with kisses and touches all the way home.

• 'We're going upstairs - leave us alone.'

• And for once, his parents listen.

[greycappedjester]

What is your take on Barbara in your Young Justice story? As in what comics or shows inspired you? Also, how is she handling(i don't know another word) her feeling for Dick? From what I can take is that she still loves him; she wants him to be happy and will do things for him to accomplish that. Idk i don't think she has time to really "move on" even if she tried because she will always be there for him... along with the other bat-family

Thank you so much! Hmmm, I love Babs a lot but I’m trying to think of where I primarily draw her character from--probably a mix of her Oracle days, Birds of Prey, some Batgirl Year One, with a bit of fandom in general, Young Justice (ofc), and the Batman animated show I watched when I was younger. Anything that shows Barbara as competent, efficient, a badass but also clearly cares about her family and the people she works with. She’s such a great example of a character that can both act marvelously and unhesitatingly in a support role without making supporting others seem lesser in any way--because really how would any of the Batfamily in the 90s-early 2000s get anything done without her--while also being a hero/ main character in her own right (with Oracle and Birds of Prey).

For how she’s dealing with her feelings--I think what you said is fair: she loves him, she wants him to be happy and is glad that he seems to be with Kory, she does have trouble moving on completely because they always work together. It’s essentially Barbara’s a wonderful person about prioritizing her goals--her top goal is to keep her loved ones (and Gotham) safe through anyway she can help them. As long as she has that, she can be happy...even if she sometimes is too selfless in that she removes herself from (or allows) situations where she thinks she’s too biased even if she thinks the situation is ill-considered.....that’ll make sense a lot more after the next year arc, promise.

Bonus very short story under break because I feel like it explains it better than my ramble.

Here is a piece of dialogue I wrote from a short story in Barbara’s POV. It’s not finished so I won’t post all of it; but, it’s called “Prom” and takes place between Year 2 and Year 3 (so post Batgirl, pre-Kory’s arrival on Earth).

-----

Barbara Gordon is in love with Dick Grayson.

She doesn’t let it affect her that much. 

There’s more important things to worry about.

Namely being Batgirl, Gotham’s newest vigilante of about a year and a really good one if she does say so herself. And with that comes other worries. Like containing Arkham breakouts. And patrolling Crime Alley. And tracking down leads on whatever new addition there is to Gotham’s ever expanding list of batshit insanity. And going through the next torture mislabled as a training exercise because “we can never be too prepared, right, Babs?”. Or, hey, speaking of which, trying to make sure neither she nor Dick die in this nightmare of a city that she adores so much.

And then, there’s the additional joy of keeping all of the above mentioned vigilante activities out of the attention of her father aka the Police Commissioner aka one of the most observant men in Gotham.

The point is Barbara doesn’t have time to be part of anyone’s unrequited teenage love story, even if it’s her own.

All of which normally works out pretty darn well except for one occasional fact.

Dick Grayson is an idiot.

Big blue eyes look up at her imploringly from across the lunch table and Babs momentarily contemplates stabbing him with her fork.

“I just thought it would be a good idea,” he explains before hurrying to add, “if you don’t already have someone you want to go with, I mean.”

“You’re asking me to prom,” she says incredulously. “Wait, you’re telling me you don’t have a date to prom?”

Dick hesitates. “Um, well, no, I don’t. Not exactly.”

Barbara blinks, narrows her eyes, and then mentally translates that through her built in Dick Grayson decodifier. The answer comes alarmingly quickly.

“In other words, people asked you and you turned them down. So now, you have to find a date if you want to go and not look like an asshole,” she concludes.

Dick blushes and she knows she’s right.

Not that there was ever really a question because, unlike her, Dick actually is popular. Insanely so considering, like her, he’s two years younger than most of their classmates and makes the absolute minimal effort to be part of any extracurricular activities besides sporadic decathlon appearances.

Then again, maybe it’s not that surprising when you factor back in the whole billionaire heir status plus the...well, okay, the unfair levels of attractiveness and grace Dick exudes as unconsciously as breathing.

Dick smiles sheepishly and Barbara swears she hears a girl two tables away actually sigh.

“I just thought it would be more fun to go with you,” Dick insists and Barbara’s traitorous little heart might have skipped if he didn’t immediately follow it with, “as friends, you know?”

Barbara continues to stare at him because dang it, she might have tripped into a bad teen movie but she still has her pride.

“If you’re just asking me because you think I don’t have a date--”

Dick’s eyes immediately widen. “No! Babs, that’s not it at all, I swear!” He sighs, checking the cafeteria before leaning in. “It’s just...you know how things can get kind of, ah, busy all of the sudden for us, right?”

Oh….

Barbara nods, feeling like an idiot. She should have known it would all come back to vigilante stuff.

Dick looks relieved. “I just don’t want to agree to go to prom with someone when I’ve got to ditch them last minute if something comes up.”

“Oh,” she says, mostly on autopilot. “And at least if we go together and something happens…”

“We won’t be letting anyone down.” Dick smiles before shrugging. “And, if nothing happens, then I still get to go to prom with one of my best friends. Win-win.”

Barbara forces herself to swallow. “Win-win.”

“So, what do you say?” Dick’s smile goes a little bit mischievous. “Barbara Gordon, will you go to prom with me?”

The sad thing is that when it comes down to it, she doesn’t have to think about it.

“Sure, Dick.”

Dick’s face lights up, endearing in all the ways it’s not infuriating. “Really?”

Barbara shrugs, pulling up a smile. “What can I say? You know I love dancing.”

-----

Since apparently this is her life now, Barbara gives in to overdramatic impulses and throws herself onto the couch before finding a thick enough pillow to scream into.

When she finally lets the pillow slide off her face, her dad’s staring at her from over a heavy stack of case files.

“Bad day at school?”

She smiles sardonically. “I got a date for prom.”

“....Oh.” He frowns and there’s something Babs always finds oddly touching about the utter panicked confusion the hardened police commissioner shows with anything approaching the emotions of teenage girls. He shoulders through. “I thought you weren’t going to prom.”

“I wasn’t,” she agrees. Frankly, she thinks she could go her entire life without seeing classmates she barely talks to swaying awkwardly in a cramped gymnasium.

Her dad’s frown deepens. “Who’s the guy?”

She sighs, closing her eyes, already knowing how this will go. “Dick Grayson.”

“Ah...well that’s--”

“He asked me as friends,” she finishes.

Silence greets her response and Barbara shuts her eyes a bit tighter.

If there’s one thing she absolutely hates about being in love with Dick Grayson, it’s the fact that everyone else in her life already knows. Everyone except Dick.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“It’s fine, Dad.”

“You want me to shoot him?”

She chokes on a laugh, finally opening her eyes. “You can’t. You’re a cop. The police frown on things like murder.”

He gives her a look, a smile creeping in under his moustache. “It’s Gotham, Barbara.”

She stands up, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

“Don’t.” She smiles. “Gotham still needs one honest cop left.”

“Drats.” He catches her hand, smile evening out as he meets her eyes. “If he doesn’t see what’s in front of him, honey, then he doesn’t deserve you.”

Barbara squeezes his hand in lieu of answering.

That’s the thing no one ever seems to get. 

It isn’t that Dick doesn’t see her. In fact, she’s pretty sure Dick sees her better than anyone.

He’s her partner, the best friend she’s ever had, the one thing she knows she can always count on.

But, he’s not in love with her.

-------

Thanks for the ask!

[evakuality]

This one’s a double episode, mostly because our lovely boys don’t turn up too much in them.  To read the Isak and Matteo version of this series, start with this post, and to read the earlier Even and David ones, start with this one.

So.  Episodes six and seven.  Difficult ones for an analysis of these boys for a number of reasons.  Episode six and seven are obviously mostly wildernesses for us and Even and David.  They are, for the most part, absent from the screen because these episodes are very much focused on Isak and Matteo and their necessary development alone.  Of course, that leaves us in a bit of a bind here.  Neither of these characters will have been static, obviously, during this time but we have little to go on in terms of what they were doing and feeling.

David’s only ‘appearance’ in episode six is the drawing he left for Matteo.  He must have delivered it by hand since it’s totally open when Matteo receives it, so he ran some sort of risk of running into Matteo when he did that.  So some part of him must want to reconnect in person and not just in this weird message.  And it is weird.  ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ ‘maybe in eternity’ and a vampire with a toastie.  There’s a longing there, with the toastie, to want to have what Matteo had openly suggested earlier: cheese toasts again together sometime, and yet the words themselves are pushing him away.  It’s a resigned sort of thing, a need to explain himself at least minimally but still desiring to keep Matteo at arm’s length.  And I mean, this makes sense.  He still has this huge secret that he’s not willing to share with Matteo yet because he’s worried he’ll face a repeat of everything that happened before, only worse.  Because this time, it’s Matteo and he’s someone David feels a real connection to and will be more devastated if he reacts that way.  It’s interesting to wonder what made him reach out like this, though.  There are some risks here for David if he really does want to keep Matteo away as a beautiful ‘might have been’ - the most significant being the possibility of meeting him when he dropped it off.  The other being Matteo’s proven tendency to not sit back when he could just go and talk something out.  David has no way to know how Matteo took his last text, not least because until this moment Matteo has been phone-less.  So he has no way of knowing if this will push Matteo into another attempt at coming to his home.  I can only assume that David, after the time apart, is starting to regret running away and is in the beginning stages of wanting to reconnect enough that he’s willing to tell Matteo about being trans, and willing to take the risk that he will have to face Matteo sometime.  After all, sometime between now (presumably it wasn’t done earlier) and the week later he has written down whatever it is he wanted to tell Matteo about it.  He’s starting slowly to make those preparations to come out.

Even is a little more present, from the opening scene through the awkward meeting in the cafeteria to the drawing he leaves in Isak’s pocket.  His feelings are pretty evident.  He’s observant enough to see how badly Isak is affected by ‘something’ and he can make a fairly shrewd guess at what that something is.  The first scene shows him watching Isak as he walks into the school.  The bravado must be obvious even without the music we get to hear.  Isak is focused, head straight, not looking to either side, and clearly just wants to get through this gauntlet of Emma and Even and to the relative safety of the school building.  Even watches him as his focus is so tight he doesn’t even see the guy walking up to him.  At this point, though, it’s not necessarily obvious to Even what the ‘problem’ is for Isak, and so he does nothing else.  It’s only when he meets Isak in the cafeteria and Isak can’t hold it together that Even really sees just how much strain he’s under.  He’s not stupid, he must know how the text he sent would make Isak feel, and so he’s expecting some sort of cooler response.  But he doesn’t know Isak saw him kissing Sonja, and so he doesn’t know how hard that whole thing hit him.  That meeting in the cafeteria lays Isak’s feeling out all over his face no matter how casual he tries to be.  Even’s feelings are also obvious on his face, but there’s not the same sort of stark anguish that Isak is feeling.  Even’s is quieter and more contained.  His pain is older, for a start (it came in the middle of the last episode, not in multiple blows towards the end like Isak’s), and he’s had Sonja as a support in whatever way that has been.  

What is clear is that he’s missing Isak and wants to reconnect (this is an interesting contrast to David who isn’t as forthright at this point), and is willing to make inroads into a conversation.  He’s the one who approaches Isak with ‘no cardamom?’ and the attempt at a new start just before Isak brushes past him.  It feels like this meeting is what pushes Even back into wanting to pursue Isak.  It’s obvious that Isak’s not going to do much talking in person, so Even turns to something that has worked before: the drawings.  He uses the toastie as a connecting point, both to the time when they shared some together and to the meeting in the cafeteria.  It’s a way to sound out Isak and find out what he wants and how he feels.  Of course, as soon as Isak replies to him, Even must have some small moment of panic and doesn’t answer the text.  While this is frustrating to Isak, and he reads it as Even being a ‘hot and cold’ player, it’s understandable.  Even was hurt by Isak’s words about mentally ill people, and worse he’s worried about how Isak will take it when he knows about Even.  So when Isak shows signs of wanting to connect again, Even pulls away because he’s going to have to address the elephant in the room at some point.  

Of course, as we can tell from the way the reunions happen in episode seven, Even makes a decision to come back to Isak and try to hide his illness from him while David recognises that if he is to reconnect with Matteo he’s going to have to come out.  Even, on reflection, comes up with a plan to hide his illness but David doesn’t have this luxury.  To be with Matteo means having to be open with him.  So, let’s look at how the episodes look for these two boys shall we?  Even first approaches Isak with the next drawing, the one that answers his neglected text.  Interestingly, he doesn’t only draw and entire phone twice, but he also very deliberately writes out ‘miss you’ by hand.  There’s no possibility for this to be a situation where you type something and send it by reflex without thinking and then regret it later.  No.  This specific admission to Isak had to have been done with purpose - he drew it, he walked to the locker with it and he put it in the locker.  There’s no regret here.  Of course, we still don’t have an Even who is willing to try face to face again.  He’s still holding a small distance.  David, by contrast, is still metaphorically running away in the piece he sends to Matteo.  But he’s also making strides in the whole business because this time he’s taking Matteo with him.  They’re both reaching out, but also not reaching out and for both of them it’s not working too well because both Isak and Matteo are not about to let that slide, at least not after they’ve had some coaching from their friends.

For Even, he has obviously been waiting for a message or something from Isak.  The fact that he texted back immediately, and then turns up to Isak’s home so fast, is testament to that.  As much as Isak’s boys are telling him that Even must be trying to just play with him, it’s obvious even now before we know why Even has been so hot and cold that he’s not chill about this at all either.  His extraness is hugely apparent in this scene even before he arrives; he’s making the big gestures again to try to win over his boy again.  It’s obvious that by this time he’s made his decision about what he wants and all he needs is for isak to pick up some of the messages he’s been sending.  Luckily for him, Isak has this group of friends and they talk him into doing exactly what Even needs to see in order to do this one next gesture to win his boy back.  

For David, he doesn’t even bother to ask if they can talk he just makes his way immediately to Matteo’s home.  Unlike Even, I don’t think this is a case of making a big gesture to win the boy.  This is a recognition of how seriously he’s taking Matteo’s words.  That if he doesn’t actually commit he’s about to lose Matteo forever.  Isak’s text (‘call me when you’ve broken up with your girlfriend’) puts a certain condition on the whole thing: Even has to break up before Isak will accept anything more from him.  But this condition comes after a whole lot of preamble.  The drawing was cool etc etc, so there’s more of a connection there.  Matteo sends ‘stop sending drawings if you don’t want to be with me’ - the tone is more uncompromising here.  There’s no ‘cute drawing’ or whatever, it’s straight and to the point (both Jonases would be proud).  While there’s still room for hope for David with the ‘if’ it’s very much an ultimatum.  Isak’s is like the opening of a negotiation: if you do this then we’ll talk and we’ll see where it will go.  Matteo’s is: unless you’re willing to go all-in then you have to stop contacting me.  Obviously the result is the same for both of them as both Even and David (who have both presumably been lurking dramatically around their crushes’ homes) turn up almost immediately to face the music.  For Even, this is a time to consolidate what he’s had with Isak and to do more work to hide his secret.  For David it’s a time to make that final decision.  It’s now or never and he has to come out or lose Matteo.  

Clearly, this results in two very different reunions.  Even and Isak don’t hesitate; they’ve said it all through the slow conversations with the drawings and the texts and so for them it’s more important to reconnect in this very physical way.  Conversation about anything else can come later; all that matters for Even in this moment is making sure they’re both on the same page again so he gives into the reckless passion of it all.  For David, he has to work himself up to what he needs to do.  He needs the embrace because he has a much more difficult job right now than Even does: there’s no giving in to passion for him because he still has a job to do, and it’s a very scary one.  This soft affection and the comfort they both clearly get from this hug is really important in terms of the task David has ahead of him.  I’m not even sure that he knows for sure what he wants to do at this point.  He’s still clearly conflicted in the shot at the end, and how hard it is for him is right there on his face.  What is really clear for both of these boys, though, is how much Isak and Matteo mean to them.  They’re both having to put something scary on the line in order to be with their chosen partner.  Each of them is having to stop running and try to move forward with someone else and that’s a really terrifying thing to have to do.  That Even chooses to deal with it by trying to hide it more, even while he’s not running away anymore, and David has to deal with by facing up to it is irrelevant.  They’re both here in this position because the thought of being without Isak or Matteo isn’t a thought they’re willing to bear.  They’ve both decided the other boy is worth the terror they’re having to face.

Episode eight can be found here

[lost-along-the-wave]

Books I'll Love Forever

I can't for the life of me remember which book caused me to fall madly in love with books but I'm very glad I did. So to spread my absolute love of books, here are some of the ones I've read a hundred times and to this day still fall in love with every single time. ( In no particular order) P. S. I have a habit of loving a book even more if it totally and completely breaks my heart. • If I Stay by Gayle Forman As the first book that ever actually made me cry, this story will always hold a special place in my heart. At first glance it seems to be nothing more than a tragic love story but it is so much more. This story is about the love of a family and it tries a new angle on the idea of loss. Mia's story is equal parts heartbreaking and heartwarming. • The Perks Of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky This book is everything. I read this for the first time in 10th grade and I'd never found a character so relatable before. This book is perfect for a coming of age novel and it is strikingly real. Despite never really being in any of the situations myself, it is written in a way that resonates. • We Were Liars by E. Lockhart This is in the running for my all time favourite book. This book is written so beautifully and so well that despite how many times I've read it, I still can't find a way to predict the twist that broke my heart. The language is also so perfect that I often find myself getting lost in it. • Away We Go by Emil Ostrovski Admittedly I only bought this book because of the colourful cover and the Peter Pan references but I've never been more thankful for my quick judgment. This book is a story of loving someone who loves someone else, who loves someone else, etc. Basically no one is loved by who they want to be loved by and that's not even the most heartbreaking thing about their lives or lack thereof. This book broke my heart in almost every chapter. • I'll Give You The Sun by Jandy Nelson This is the book that made me fall in love with the name Jude for a girl. Told in two different perspectives in two different times this book will leave you feeling both content and sad but you'll fall in love with the characters who are just trying to find their way. • The Strange And Beautiful Sorrows Of Ava Lavender by Leslye Walton When I first started reading this book my first thought was "umm…what?", but surprisingly it didn't turn out how I thought it would. This story is just as the title implies, strange and beautiful sorrows, but it is so beautifully written and the story is so mesmerizing that you'll forget about all the strangeness and fall in love with the beautiful. • Simon Vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli Full disclosure this is my favourite book that isn't heartbreakingly tragic. It is equally funny, meaningful, and sad. It shows insight into the mind of a closeted gay teenager threatened with being outed but it surprised me how subtly it was placed into the the story. Most of this book just made me laugh and towards the end it made my heart hurt but the real reason I love this book is because of the beautiful messages within it about race, sexuality, friendship, and life. • The Impossible Knife Of Memory by Laurie Halse Anderson Post traumatic stress disorder is a common diagnosis in war veterans but is often brushed aside or overlooked. This book tells the story of a daughter who's father is exactly that. It poetically describes what it is like to have a loved one live with the mental illness without sugar coating it too much. I don't know who my heart broke for more; the daughter or her father. • Me And Earl And The Dying Girl by Jesse Andrews The title pretty much gives away the whole plot of the book but what it doesn't tell you is how totally random, weird, funny and heartbreaking the story truly is. A lot of times I had to put the book down and say "what the fuck?", because a lot of this plot is questionable, but all in all it's a very good read and it's very subtle about it's heartbreak. • Me Being Me Is Exactly As Insane As You Being You by Todd Hasak-Lowry This book is definitely not for everyone, it certainly took some getting used to for me, not because of the story itself but how it's formatted. The book is written entirely in lists. Yes lists. Every "chapter" starts of with a title like "4 Things I Noticed In The Span Of 30 Seconds" and then will go on to list them. The story is a little weird but it's an interesting read. • Two Boys Kissing by David Levithan You might recognize the authors name as he co-wrote Will Grayson Will Grayson with John Green but this book is probably not what you're expecting. There are three different stories being told but they're being told by the same person, or people I guess. The narrative is in the perspective of all the people who have died from AIDS looking down at the world and watching these stories play out. It's definitely worth the read. • All The Missing Girls by Megan Miranda Honestly this book made me remember why I have a love hate relationship with mystery novels. This books starts off at the present time and the jumps to 15 days in the future. If that's not infuriating enough it then proceeds to go backwards from day 15 to day 1 in order to piece together the mystery from the present and a similar one 10 years in the past. Unfortunately I couldn't put it down. • The Rest Of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness I don't know about you but I've always wondered what happened to the people who were just kind of there for the drama but didn't play a role in it. Like in the Harry Potter books hundreds of kids attended Hogwarts but only like 10 of them were actually relevant to the plot. What about the rest of them? This book is them. Not literally them, this is not a Harry Potter book, but it is in the perspective of the other guys, well four of them at least. They're very away of everything that happens and the treat it like it's a normal occurrence, like the vampires attacking was just another day for them. • We Are All Made Of Molecules by Susin Neilsen As a child of a broken family this book was very relatable for me despite the characters being younger than me. Blended families can be a weird change and it's not always as easy as it may seem and I think this book beautifully shows how much of a struggle it really can be. • A List Of Cages by Robin Roe This book deals with abuse and some parts made me physically sick to my stomach. One of the main characters is portrayed as innocent in every way and I'm still not sure whether that makes it worse or not. There are also some very beautiful parts in this book and that's part of the reason I couldn't put it down. • Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell There are not enough words to describe how I feel about this book. It is about defying stereotypes, discovering who you are, falling in love, being set free, being comfortable with yourself, and so so much more. Many of my friends will say that this is their all time favourite book. Very strong recommendation for this breathtaking story. • Aristotle And Dante Discover The Secrets Of The Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz Of all the books I've read this is the book I can quote the most. I fell in love from the very first page and the story never let me forget it. This story is about growing up, but at the same time it's not. It's about all the things the world has to offer, you just need to find the right person to show you. I gave my whole heart to this book and I still don't regret it. • It's Kind Of A Funny Story by Ned Vizzini I committed a serious crime with this story; I watched the movie first. Thank goodness the book was 1000x better because wow that movie, while still very good, was a train wreck. Craig's story is so breathtakingly honest and pure that it helped me understand myself a little bit more. It's alright to not know what's going to happen, just focus on what's happening now. • Suicide Notes From Beautiful Girls by Lynn Weingarten Spoiler alert: to the best of my knowledge this book did not contain a single suicide note that I can remember. Mostly this book is focused on the why but not in the normal way. It's not why did she kill herself, it's why did she kill herself that way. Friendship is a blessing and a curse because you might think you know someone but you might not know them at all. Honestly this book makes me so angry because despite the many conversations I've had with my friends we still haven't come up with a solid understanding of the ending. Please help. • Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon Again this is one of those novels that sweeps me off my feet with the beautiful imagery in the language. I can practically feel myself in the story and crazy twist at the end is not something I ever could've predicted. It's an easy story to love. • Beautiful Disaster by Jamie McGuire I read this book in 7th grade which admittedly was wayyyyy to young for the type of content in this book. Unlike most of the previous books this one is a little more your normal romance book. Two college kids make a deal to be friends, fall in love, have a bunch of fights/breakups, etc. I know what you're thinking, "Why is this book even on the list?" To be honest I debated for a long time whether or not to include it but I ultimately decided that it is still one of my favourite books because Travis and Abby are just too damn cute. • Remember To Forget by Ashley Royer This is the book that got me hooked on Wattpad. For those of you who don't know it's an app/website where people can write and post stories for anyone to read as long as they have an account, don't worry it's free :). This book, like a lot of Wattpad stories, started out as a Five Seconds Of Summer fanfiction but was rewritten and edited when it actually got published. Yes I do read 5SOS fanfic every now and again and yes I was obsessed for a while but now most of the stories I read are regular teen fiction and trust there are some amazing writers out there. If you want to get the app, or already have it, and are looking for some reading suggestions feel free to ask :) This book is about moving on a letting go and realizing that it's okay to let people help you. • History Is All You Left Me By Adam Silvera As a story that broke my heart approximately 2 pages in it will always be a story I'll love. The plot focuses on Griffin and jumps between the past and present telling stories of his life with and without his ex boyfriend. Beautifully written, heartfelt, and tragic this novel is everything.

[recentnews18-blog]

New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/a-brief-comedy-history-of-the-beastie-boys/

A Brief Comedy History of the Beastie Boys

Photo: Paul Natkin/WireImage

“Our main goal was really just to crack each other up,” Mike “Mike D” Diamond writes in the new Beastie Boys Book, the massive memoir-cum-mixtape that’s bursting with seemingly every anecdote, photograph, paean, and, well, mixtape he and bandmate Adam “Ad-Rock” Horovitz could fit into its nearly 600 pages, alongside a miniature cookbook, an oral history of a fictional alien made out of ice cream, and a letter from Sasquatch. Diamond is referring specifically to the lyrics on Licensed to Ill, but he may as well have been talking about the Beastie Boys’ entire career — more than 30 years that Diamond, Horovitz, and the late Adam “MCA” Yauch spent goofing on each other, and generally behaving like the smart-assed punks they were. Comedy was always crucial to the Beastie Boys’ success, of course, as essential as their race; as novelist Jonathan Lethem articulates in one of many guest essays, it was comedy that allowed three nice Jewish boys to posture as rhyming-and-stealing street toughs, holding hip-hop at an ironic distance in a way that played off “the special cognitive dissonance of the white boy possessed by culture not possessible to him.” The Beastie Boys debuted at a time when hip-hop was already being dismissed as a fad, evident in the contemporary flurry of novelty rap singles. (Remember “Rappin’ Duke” — duh-ha, duh-ha? “Rappin’ Rodney”? Mel Brooks’s “The Hitler Rap”?) In this case, the Beasties were the novelty. They styled themselves as dopes pretending to be rock stars, which absolved them from so, so much. Comedy allowed them to sneak in the side entrance, bum-rush the whole show.

That said, the Beastie Boys weren’t really a comedy act — at least, not in the sense of someone like Weird Al, or “nerdcore” rappers like MC Chris. They wrote a lot of funny lines, but they mostly fall under the rubric of daffy wordplay over straight-up zingers. And while they were masters of the studio goof-around like “Netty’s Girl” and “Heart Attack Man,” it was usually a lot funnier to just imagine the addled, 4 a.m. context of their creation than to listen to their actual content. (Although, “Boomin’ Granny” is just funny.) Rather, where Beastie Boys intersected with comedy — the source of their quick rise to fame and their continued vitality — lives in that private space of the laugh shared between childhood pals: “We assume they’re joking, and many of us feel let in on the joke,” author Ada Calhoun writes, much more succinctly. Here are some of the most notable times they let us in.

“Cooky Puss” (1983)

The Beastie Boys officially transitioned from hardcore punks into hip-hop pranksters with this single built around a ramshackle dance beat and some rudimentary scratching — although it doesn’t feature much in the way of actual rapping. The vocals, such as they are, consist of a series of obscene prank calls placed to a local Carvel Ice Cream, with Horovitz demanding, with increasing hostility, to talk to Cookie Puss, the chain’s popular alien ice-cream character. As Horovitz explains in the book, “Cooky Puss” was conceived as a parody of Malcolm McLaren’s rap-and-punk-fusing “Buffalo Gals,” a song the group genuinely loved and therefore had to mock, as is the way of the New York hipster. Like “Buffalo Gals,” it became an underground club favorite, too, encouraging the Beastie Boys to pursue hip-hop full-time. But while “Cooky Puss” barely hints at the Beasties’ musical future, it does contain an embryonic form of the band’s doofus savant approach, not to mention kicking off the band’s venerable tradition of telephone skits and stand-up comedy samples. (That’s Steve Martin’s “Wild And Crazy Guy” getting shredded on the turntables). It was a juvenile way of getting noticed, but it worked — though Horovitz now says he feels bad about harassing that poor underpaid Carvel employee who unwittingly became part of hip-hop history, “we thought it was funny at the time”

“(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (to Party)” (1986)

“We thought it was funny at the time” ends up being a common refrain in the book, especially when it comes to the song — and video — that broke the band wide. “(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (to Party)” was conceived as a parody of “party” songs, part of the group’s general mocking of knucklehead culture. But whatever irony was lost on the listener was completely flushed with the clip, a punk slapstick masterpiece that only crystallized the group’s image as beer-swilling, porno-loving dirtbags. It’s a spoof of “cheesy pop-metal videos (Motley Crue, etc.), with a healthy dose of Blackboard Jungle,” Diamond writes, beginning with two nerds who decide to throw a get-together while their parents are gone, only to have the Beasties crash it with a gaggle of “bad people” (including producer Rick Rubin, young LL Cool J, and a pre-fame Tabitha Soren). The clip played incessantly on MTV, and while Diamond writes that “obviously, us being white had a ton to do with that,” it also helped that it was wacky and louche in all the right ways, a Three Stooges short as filtered through Porky’s. Unfortunately, its massive success meant the Beasties had to play up those stereotypes to a live audience that was increasingly filled with the kind of assholes they were mocking. Eventually the group lost sight of the irony themselves, right around when they started closing every show by inflating a giant, hydraulic dick. (Again, “it seemed funny at the time,” Horovitz writes.) It was a gag they’d spend decades trying to distance themselves from.

The Late Show Starring Joan Rivers (1987)

Although the Licensed to Ill–era Beastie Boys were stomach-scratching caricatures, they still boasted some pretty quick wits. You can see that dichotomy on this legendary appearance on the Joan Rivers–hosted Late Show, which begins with Rivers introducing them by mangling the title as Licensed to Kill, then — upon being corrected — sarcastically shooting back, “That’s a stupid name for an album!” But any potentially awkward trainwreck became accidental TV magic as soon as the trio sloppily draped themselves across Rivers’s set, taking her snarky questions in stride (“How’d you all three get together — Juilliard?”) and playing dutiful, if feisty foils, with Yauch donning Rivers’s glasses and providing snappy retorts about his age (“I’m 12”), and Horovitz insisting he’s actually Frank Zappa’s son (“It’s Dweezil, Moon Unit, and me”). Not all their jokes land, and they probably didn’t do much to dissuade audiences who saw them, to quote Rivers’s intro, as “loudmouth brats,” but it was just an early glimpse of their improv skills, which led to a long, storied tradition of the Beastie Boys hilariously fucking with interviewers.

“Hey Ladies” (1989)

“Sabotage” gets all the attention, but “Hey Ladies” was really where the Beastie Boys’ whole ’70s fetishism began — and arguably, that of the entire 1990s. Like “Sabotage,” the clip’s comedy is largely steeped in costume design, with the Beasties donning wide lapels, garish-print polyesters, neon-yellow pimp suits, and a giant fake butt to strut around a disco floor, Saturday Night Fever–style. But the laughs also come from some surreal sight gags (Vincent van Gogh sitting at the bar; a deadpan mariachi band doing the cowbell break), as well as the group’s unwavering commitment to their characters. That’s particularly true of the blowdryer-toting Horovitz, who tries out his best Travolta with the line, “I’d really love to do your hair sometime.” Cementing the comedy bona fides, “Hey Ladies” was directed by Adam Bernstein, who went on to do the pilots for 30 Rock, Scrubs, and Strangers With Candy, and who directed the similarly funny, fake-butt-adorned video for Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back.”

Roadside Prophets (1992)

Horovitz’s acting ambitions weren’t limited to just Tony Manero impressions. The same year “Hey Ladies” was released, Horovitz landed the lead in Lost Angels, playing a soulful teen delinquent whom Donald Sutherland tries to rescue. Two years later, he briefly turned up in the neo-noir A Kiss Before Dying, playing a drifter who picks up Matt Dillon. He also had an episode of The Equalizer under his belt. The book barely mentions Horovitz’s acting career, even his more recent, more dignified turns in indies like Noah Baumbach’s While We’re Young. (Of Lost Angels, he says only, “Please, if you care about me, do not look it up.”) Meanwhile, it completely ignores his foray into movie comedies, 1992’s Roadside Prophets, a relentlessly quirky, record-geek spin on Easy Rider (crossed with Straight to Hell) that finds Horowitz and X front man John Doe riding motorcycles around the desert, witnessing eccentric cameos from the likes of John Cusack, David Carradine, Timothy Leary, and Don Cheadle. It’s not a great movie; less funny ha-ha, more funny ha-Hey, is that Flea? Still, Horowitz is funny in a squirrelly sort of way — and as in his dramatic turns, Horovitz has a certain likable, sensitive stoner magnetism. Who knows? In an alternate universe, Horovitz might have been chosen to be Keanu Reeves, and Dogstar would have become huge instead of the Beasties.

“Sabotage” (1994)

As Amy Poehler writes of Spike Jonze’s addictive 1994 clip for the Ill Communication standout, “I truly believe there would be no Anchorman, no Wes Anderson, no Lonely Island videos, and no channel called Adult Swim if this video did not exist.” She may be overstating it a tad, but you can see where she’s coming from. There is a shared metamodernist streak, one that film scholar James MacDowell once identified as “a tightrope between a cynically ‘detached’ irony and an emotionally ‘engaged’ sincerity” — something that certainly describes the Beastie Boys paying loving yet ludicrous homage to 1970s cop shows. Plus, as in Anchorman, “Sabotage” gets a whole lot of comic mileage out of bad hair and silly clothes. (“Once we discovered wigs and mustaches, we just couldn’t stop, and would go out in disguises every night,” Jonze writes.) One thing it definitely did do was make Jonze’s bones, paving the way for a foray into movies that walked a similar edge between aloofness and vulnerability. “Sabotage” also significantly raised the bar for all future Beastie Boys videos, which would go on to riff similarly on kaiju (“Intergalactic”) and ’60s spy films (“Body Movin’”). But regardless of whether you consider “Sabotage” some Rosetta stone for millennial humor, it still remains as funny and badass the 1,000th time as it was the first (a hypothesis MTV certainly put to the test).

Nathanial Hörnblowér (1994)

Most of the world first met Nathanial Hörnblowér in 1994, when he stormed the stage at the 1994 Video Music Awards. Taking some much-needed piss out of R.E.M.’s “Everybody Hurts” beating “Sabotage” for Best Direction, Hörnblowér — dressed in lederhosen and carting an enormous pipe — railed against the entire “farce” while a baffled Michael Stipe looked on, blurting out, “I had all the ideas for Star Wars!” in his cartoonish Swiss accent before security finally carted him off. But Beastie Boys obsessives and a few unsuspecting journalists were already well familiar with Yauch’s yodeler-auteur alter ego, a filmmaker and renaissance man (he was said to have “pretty much invented snowboarding” and “built his own helicopter out of wood”) who also happened to be Yauch’s uncle. Hörnblowér was credited with directing nearly a dozen of the group’s videos as well as the artwork on Paul’s Boutique, but his greatest contribution to the Beastie Boys was as Yauch’s Tony Clifton–esque escape valve, a mythic personality he could escape into to say the most bizarre shit he could spin — like that time he wrote a letter to New York Times critic Stephanie Zacharek over her negative review of the “Ch-Check It Out” video, demanding she send him a goat. Yauch kept the joke running for years, even directing a 2006 short, A Day in the Life of Nathanial Hörnblowér, in which David Cross assumes the role to cross-country ski across Manhattan and play chess with a dog.

The Hello Nasty Infomercial (1998)

Released into the bowels of basic cable in 1998 (and today rescued on YouTube), the late-night infomercial created to promote the release of Hello Nasty took the group’s zeal for character work and bad wigs in an especially surreal direction. Tamra Davis, who’s helmed comedies like CB4 and Billy Madison (and is married to Diamond), stitched together this parody of low-rent miracle-product pitches, with each member taking a turn in the spotlight: Horovitz as an audience member freaking out over a juicer that plays Beastie Boys songs; Diamond, barely keeping it together as a braying fitness guru; Yauch as a Don Lapre–esque, get-rich-quick schemer. Although the infomercial was a joke, offering things like the all-in-one shampoo, cleaner, and spermicide called Sure Shine, viewers really could order the album via the 1-888 number on the screen, which also directed them to the just-launched website for the band’s Grand Royal record label. All in all, it was a brilliantly ahead-of-the-curve marketing scheme, one couched in a form of anti-comedy whose deadpan non sequiturs, deliberate shoddiness, and butt-ugly sweaters predated Tim and Eric Awesome Show by nearly a decade. So maybe Amy Poehler is onto something.

Futurama (1999)

Joining an esteemed list that includes Leonard Nimoy, Conan O’Brien, and Beck(’s disembodied heads), the Beastie Boys guest star as themselves in the first-season Futurama episode “Hell Is Other Robots,” still headlining arenas in the 31st century — and still doing “Intergalactic” — despite being craniums in jars. The group does a corny a cappella rendition of “Sabotage,” gamely plays along with cracks about the long wait between records (Fry: “Back in the 20th century, I had all five of your albums!” Ad-Rock: “That was a thousand years ago. Now we got seven”), and even turns up in Robot Hell, tormenting Bender with a little rap about the eternal punishment awaiting music bootleggers. The cameo reportedly came about because the Beasties were big fans of creator Matt Groening — “particularly Adam Yauch,” according to their publicist. Unfortunately, conflicts with the recording schedule meant that Yauch had to bow out; that’s Horovitz doing his best MCA impression instead.

“Triple Trouble” (2004)

In the book, Horovitz is a little down on To the 5 Boroughs, saying that the pall cast by September 11 inspired an album where “the serious ones feel a little forced, and the funny ones are a little flat” — an embodiment of a panicked and melancholy time when everyone, quite understandably, got in their own heads. Still, you’d never know it from watching the video for “Triple Trouble,” another Hörnblowér special that finds the group donning outlandish, Dave Navarro–meets–‘N Sync costumes to strut the red carpet and talk shit about Sasquatch, who then kidnaps the Beasties and forces them to play Pong and participate in a drum circle in his cave. As video concepts go, it’s kinda just one long pothead reverie, but it still gets in some decent jokes about celebrity culture and MapQuest — and at a time when dumb shit was more than welcome. Not to mention, it gave us 15 of the greatest seconds ever committed to video: Kanye West learns about Sasquatches.

30 Rock (2009)

The year 2009 was a dark one for the Beastie Boys. While readying an album and another major headlining tour, the group was forced to put everything on hold after Yauch was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor on his salivary gland. Yauch’s illness also meant that he had to sit out on this guest appearance on 30 Rock, where the group was meant to be part of a star-studded, “We Are the World”–style benefit song being put together by Alec Baldwin’s Jack Donaghy, solely to find his ailing father a kidney. Instead, Talib Kweli subbed in, joining Horovitz and Diamond — as well as Elvis Costello, Sheryl Crow, Adam Levine, Norah Jones, and too many others to name — as they rapped about how sometimes it’s better to just have one of something: heads, dogs attacking you (“There, we’ve proved our point!”). The episode ended up airing just a month before the Beastie Boys would play their final live show, a context that makes the otherwise very funny moment feel bittersweet.

Fight for Your Right Revisited (2011)

The same could be said of Yauch’s final video for the group, which brought everything full circle — its dizzying assemblage of celebrity cameos paying testament to the incredible influence the Beastie Boys had, across so many spheres, while also going back to where it literally all began. Picking up where “(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (to Party)” leaves off, the short finds Mike D, MCA, and Ad-Rock — now played by Seth Rogen, Danny McBride, and Elijah Wood — continuing to wreak drunken havoc across town, having run-ins with so many more famous people that it would be far more efficient to say who isn’t in it. (Okay, here’s a sampling anyway: Amy Poehler. Ted Danson. Rashida Jones. Steve Buscemi. Susan Sarandon. Robert Downey Jr. Maya Rudolph. Dan Aykroyd. Alicia Silverstone. Stanley Tucci. Kirsten Dunst. You get the idea.) Finally, the young Beasties come face to face with none other than their older, time-traveling selves played by Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, and Jack Black. The generational friction culminates in a dance contest, ending in everyone peeing on each other before they’re arrested by the cops (played by the actual Beastie Boys). It’s crude and sweet, ironically self-aware yet still deeply sentimental, painfully hip but also absurdly dumb — much like the Beastie Boys themselves. All in all, a fitting capper to such an accidental legacy, one created by three dudes who were always just out to make each other laugh.

Source: http://www.vulture.com/2018/11/a-brief-comedy-history-of-the-beastie-boys.html