#this post is a bit corny but it's okay

[xia0mi-c0m]

Thats it.

GREGORY, MALLEUS AND IDIA COME HERE RN!! YOU GONNA BE THE SUBJECTS OF THE WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH ME AGAIN SONGFIC BOT THING 👹

[valleyyofthemoonnn]

sappy post but im glad i am enjoying doing things again, ive been inspired to draw and ive been sewing little dolls and ive been playing video games and ive been thinking about reading more books again and its just! wow! im doing shit!! im not just rotting on my bed on my phone all day!! i dont think that my friends hate me!!!! yay !

[mafiadad5]

cyber sex || Lee haechan

ִ ࣪𖤐.ᐟ now playing- cyber sex: doja cat

ִ ࣪𖤐.ᐟ Audioguy!haechan x fem!reader

ִ࣪𖤐.ᐟ Genre/ warnings: smut, college au, 18+ mdni!, needy sub haechan/ soft dom reader, cyber sex, unprotected sex, praising, auralism, creampie ig?, oral (fem receiving), marking (if you squint), begging. Kinda nerdy looking haechan… Lmk if I miss anything.

ִ ࣪𖤐.ᐟ Wc- 8.2k

authors note- omg… lmk what you think guys. Part 2 maybe I have some ideas…👀. No proof read cus lol. I hope you enjoy! <3

══════════════════════════

One day your friend joked to you and told you about these corny little audio guys that were on sound cloud. You were captivated to say the least, and curiosity filled your brain so that night you found yourself on sound cloud searching. Most of them were very laughable like your friend suggested, but then you came across this one profile. 

"hcillusion119." You muttered out loud, biting your lip in curiosity as you clicked on the profile. 

The first thing you noticed was instead of one of those anime boy banner things, it was just black with his username splat in the center. Ok, so far so good. The next thing that you noticed was how the profile description were just the words: "just listen, you won't regret ;)" 

You giggled to yourself from how full of himself this guy was, so you decided to listen to an audio, expecting to laugh just like the other times, but this one was different. His voice wasn't what you had expected, it was whiny, but not in a high-pitched, irritating way. There was something desperate in the way he guided the listener through every step, an intensity that hooked you in. You had to admit, this was nothing like what you heard previously.

After the first audio you thought you would be done with it, but it kept creeping on your mind, causing you to go back to the one you were most familiar with, but after a while you started exploring his other audios and soon found yourself subscribed. No one knew you were into this, and you were too embarrassed to even play his audios if anyone was in the same proximity as you, this was your little secret— he was your little secret.

"Hey guys. We're gonna be doing something a bit different today, so just sit back and listen to me, okay?"

You sat there quietly, your body relaxing as his smooth voice seeped into your ears. It felt like he was speaking directly to you, and you couldn't help but nod along as if he could see you.

"I just want to start off by saying that we've reached 20k followers up here. I'm very grateful for all of you guys and I'll make sure to put out great content. That being said, to show my gratitude I will be hosting a little giveaway, or I guess it's like that. I want to pick one of you to have a private call with me on insta. Crazy huh? Only the best for you guys. To enter, all you have to do is comment on this post what you like about my content...and please, don't be weird... joking haha. The winner will get a private message tomorrow at 8pm. Good luck."

An embarrassing smile painted your smile as you typed out your comment on the post. You knew you probably weren't gonna win, and honestly you weren't even sure you could handle it if you did win, but something in you burned at the thought of what could happen—what it would be like to hear his voice in real time, just for you.

It was impossible to focus on anything else the next day, you even made an anonymous insta account just incase you won. The time went agonizingly slow, you honestly thought you couldn't wait any longer, but finally it was time. 

You sat on your bed after a long day of class and work, checking your notification center obsessively, heart racing with both hope and dread.

8:05 came, then 8:10, and still nothing. By 8:15 you were ready to give up, the little spark of  hope you had starting to flicker out. Just as you were about to close the app, your phone buzzed, a bright orange message appearing at the top of your screen.

hcillusion119- hey, sorry for the late text, I'll make it up to you when we call, but I want to let you know that you won.

Your eyes widened as you stared at the notification, your heart leaping into your throat. No way. It had to be too good to be true. You fumbled with your phone, nearly dropping it as you jumped up in shock. After pacing around your room for a solid five minutes, trying to wrap your mind around it, you finally opened the message.

unknown825: omg tysm TT

hcillusion119: no, thank you :) 

hcillusion119: will you plz choose a date and time?

Your fingers hovered over the keyboard as you considered your options, a thousand scenarios racing through your mind. You could cancel, let someone else, someone braver, take the opportunity. Instead, you found yourself typing.

unknown825: umm, well are you available tonight at 10?

There. You've done it, now there was no turning back.

hcillusion119: yea im available tonight. you're not very patient are you lol? what's your insta so I can call?

unknown825: I just like to get things done. my insta's the same as my user on here.

hcillusion119: ok, did you get my dm?

unknown825: yes, I'll talk to you then.

You barely registered your response before throwing your phone onto the bed, adrenaline rushing through your veins. Your heart was pounding so hard you could hear it. This was real. It was actually happening. You had less than two hours before the call, and the weight of it started to settle on you. What if you said something dumb? What if your voice shook? What if you just... froze?

The minutes went by slowly, agonizingly. You checked the time over and over, becoming more and more nervous with each glance.

9:45... almost time. You laid down in bed, trying to calm your racing thoughts, your phone clutched tightly in your hand. 

9:59.

You took a deep breath, staring at the screen as you scrolled through Instagram, pretending to distract yourself, but your heart was in your throat.Any moment now, your phone would light up, and you'd hear his voice—this time just for you.

Incoming call from hcillusion119

You took a deep breath, letting it ring for a moment before picking up, the silence so intense you could almost hear a pin drop.

Then his voice broke through.

"Hey."

A chill ran down your spine, sharper than you'd expected. Hearing his voice in your ears felt different this time—more personal, more intimate.

"Hi."

Your voice came out low, almost shy. You sat the phone on your stomach, unsure of what to do with your hands. The awkward smile on your face wasn't helping you feel any less flustered.

"How are you doing today?" he asked, his tone casual but warm.

"I'm good, exhausted. What about you?"

"I'm good too," he replied. "tired as well."

"Why are you tired?" You responded. 

"Well, I just moved... like yesterday, so."

"Oh, cool. Where did you move to?"

"I can't tell you that." he said with a teasing edge to his voice.

"Oh, right... I guess I understand."

The conversation wasn't flowing like you'd imagined. It was awkward. You questioned why you were so nervous in the first place. 

"What's your name?" His voice dropped lower and softer, catching you off guard.

"I can't tell you." you mimicked, trying to match his playful tone.

"Ahh, I see what you're doing. Well unknown825, why are you so tired?"

"I had school and work, so I'm pretty worn down."

"School?" He sounded curious, his tone lighter.

"Yeah, I'm in college. You're not like... an old man right?"

He laughed, the sound soft and genuine.

"No, I'm in college too."

"Oh cool."

Silence fell between you again, the awkward kind that made your heart race for no reason. You didn't want to keep bombarding him with boring questions, but you also didn't want the conversation to just end. Still, you felt that sinking feeling that maybe you should've canceled after all.

"So, what's your favorite audio?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Stress Relief."

"Ah, who would've thought?" He chuckled, his voice dropping an octave. "So you like to be talked through it, huh?"

You hummed in response, turning onto your stomach as you clutched the phone. 

"Do you like being talked through it?" You asked, your tone slightly teasing.

The line went quiet, and for a second, you wondered if you pushed too far, but then you heard him lick his lips, a small noise you wouldn't have caught if you hadn't been listening so intently. 

"Yeah, I do." he admitted, voice deeper now. "Can't help it when I hear a pretty voice like yours."

Your cheeks flushed as a smile crept across your face. "So what are you saying? You want me to talk you through it?"

"I never said that." he interrupted quickly. "Besides, you wouldn't be able to handle it, Miss Stress Relief."

He laughed softly.

"No, you're the one who wouldn't be able to handle it." You shot back, your voice in a mocking tone.

"Are you trying to challenge me?" His tone shifted, there was an edge to it now.

You hummed again, licking your lips before replying. "I never said that,"

You could feel the tension building, the invisible line between the two of you tightening with each word exchanged. You were both teasing each other.

"but I know you want me to." you continued, voice low. "If you asked nicely... maybe I would."

Silence. 

The only thing you could hear was his breathing—slow, but heavy. Even that sounded beautiful, like every part of him was designed to captivate you. You waited, the pressure coiling tighter in the pit of your stomach. Then his voice came again, softer this time.

"Talk me through it."

But there was a command in his tone.

"I said nicely."

There was a pause, and you could almost picture him struggling with the request before he spoke again.

"Ca—Can you please talk me through it?"

"That's more like it." You whispered, smirking. "See what happens when you listen? Now... are your pants down? If they aren't, pull them down."

You waited, hearing the soft rustle of fabric on the other end. He was listening, and the thought made your pulse quicken. Thrill ran through your body, you had never done anything like this before.

"What do you want me to do next?" His voice was quieter now, the assertiveness from before completely gone.

"I want you to touch yourself, but not too fast, okay?"

You paused, waiting for his breathing to change—waiting for him to obey.

"Are you doing it?"

"Yeah." he breathed out, almost as if the word escaped him unintentionally.

"Good. Now, I want you to keep going, but don't finish until I tell you to. Can you handle that?"

There was a pause, his breath quickening. 

"I can handle it." he replied, though his voice wavered just a bit.

"We'll see."

You could feel the heat radiating through the connection, charging the atmosphere around you. His breathing was heavier now, more ragged, each inhalation betraying just how hard he was trying to please you. 

"Tell me how it feels." you encouraged, your voice silky and low. 

"It feels... so good." he stammered, his words interrupted by tiny gasps. "I want you. I want to feel you. I want you here with me." He spoke again.

A shiver ran down your spine at the vulnerability in his tone. The yearning in his voice made you only think about  him—how he sounded, how he felt.

"Touch yourself harder, let me hear you." You whispered. 

He followed your command, his voice becoming strained and desperate Each moan a mix of pleasure with restraint, and you could practically visualize—lost in passion, chasing the edge of that sweet release.

"Are you going faster?" You asked, your heart pounding with anticipation.

"No...  I- I won't until you tell me to." he responded, voice trembling, you could hear the struggle in his words.

"You're such a good boy. You can go faster." You could feel a rush of satisfaction at how he gave himself over to you.

"Fuck." He let out in a breathy moan. You could hear his hand moving faster, driving you to insanity knowing how desperate he was for you.

"Just like that." you murmured. "You want it, don't you?"

He gasped softly, almost pleadingly. "Yes, I want it so bad."

Before you could speak again, he interrupted. "I don't know how much longer I can hold back." His voice full with need.

"You can handle it, right? Well.. that's what you told me." You reminded him, your tone teasing. "Were you lying to me?

"No, but—"  You could hear the struggle in his voice, the way his breaths quickened as he fought against the sensation. 

"Please." A groan reached your ears, confirming your suspicion. "Please, I need—" His voice was whiny, but it was obvious he was trying to keep it in.

"Need what?" you interrupted, a smile on your face. "Permission?" 

"Yes." He responded immediately, his breath rigid. 

"You're close, aren't you?" you teased. "Beg for it. Use that voice and tell me how much you want it."

His breathing became frantic as he pleaded. "I want to cum so badly, please. I can't hold back anymore. I'll do anything you want... just please, let me finish."

You hummed softly, his voice seeping into your ears. His voice was a mix of desperation, coming out in broken gasps. 

"Please... I'm begging you." The urgency in his tone echoed through your mind making you give in.

"Finish for me." You said softly. 

The sound that escaped him was pure ecstasy. His voice melting into a series of gasps and whimpers— loud and desperate, sent shivers through you. 

You wanted to be there, to feel him come undone against you. 

"You did so well." 

"Thank you." he murmured softly, trying to catch his breath, coming down from his high. 

"Well... it's pretty late, I should get going." You spoke. 

"Yeah cool, I understand. Have a good night." He responded, still sounding a bit winded. 

"You too."

And with that you hung up, turning off your phone completely before closing your eyes, drifting to sleep as you thought about what just happened. 

══════════════════════════

A week had passed and you still couldn't shake that night. You didn't know whether to feel disappointed or proud of the night you had with a complete stranger on the internet. It was truly something you had never done before.

Walking into class you noticed an unfamiliar face talking to your professor as you walked to your seat. He was cute, you can admit that, but his sudden appearance already irritated you. You groaned as you saw your professor point your way, and the stranger started walking toward you. Currently you're working on a project that requires a partner. Luckily, you ended up working alone due to the odd number of students, but you could tell that was going to change as he walked towards you.

 Your eyes immediately dropped to your phone, hoping if you pretended not to see him, maybe he would just walk past, but of course you're not that lucky. 

"Hey, I'm Haechan." His voice pulled you from your thoughts. "The professor told me to partner with you for the project."

Your heart skipped a beat, and not in a good way. His voice—it was familiar, uncomfortably familiar. You felt a strange chill creep up your spine, but you quickly brushed it off. It couldn't be him, right?

"Hi, I'm Y/n." You replied, your voice coming out more clipped than you intended.

His eyes squinted ever so slightly as he looked at you in silence for a moment.

"Do you know what you're doing, or am I gonna have to teach you?" You didn't mean to speak harshly, but your words came out sharper than expected.

"I know what I'm doing." He answered, his voice low as he took a seat beside you.

You swear your blood ran cold every time you heard him speak. You listened to your fav audio guys voice a lot, you couldn't lie and say that it wasn't almost the same. It made you feel a little weirded out, only making you think of the night even more every time he spoke, but you just tried to ignore it and focus.

"So, we need to do a few things by the end of next week." You spoke. 

He nodded but remained silent, his eyes locked on you in a way that made you feel exposed. His lips parted slightly as he continued to stare. 

You cleared your throat, trying to ignore the tension. "I don't like strangers coming in my house, can I come over yours to work when we don't have class?"

"Yes, that works. Can I have your phone so I can give you my number? You know, to keep in touch." He asked.

You nodded in agreement, taking your phone and opening the phone app, handing it to him.

You looked away for one second, expecting him to quickly type in his number, but instead, you saw him swipe across the screen, heading straight for your Instagram.

"What are you doing?" You asked, irritation in your voice as you snatched your phone from him. 

"I was tryna give you my insta like I said." He answered defensively, voice cracking slightly as he stared at you offensively.

"You said number." You replied, narrowing your eyes.

"Well I meant insta." He responded hastily, putting out his hand demandingly. 

"Who do you think you are?" You snapped. "You're going to give me your number, it's way more practical." You handed him the phone again, this time watching him like a hawk as he slowly typed in his number, his eyes darting up at you now and then with that same suspicious glint. 

"See how easy it is when you listen." You grinned, Haechan looking at you with glistening, suspicious eyes as you started typing on your computer.

"Why do you have SoundCloud and Spotify?" He asked suddenly, staring at your phone screen.

"What?" You hummed, not breaking contact from your computer. 

"Why do you have SoundCloud AND Spotify. You only need one music app, right?" He asked, emphasizing his words sassily.

You turned to him, rolling your eyes, exasperated. "Why are YOU so noisy." 

At this point you were clearly irritated and just wanted to get your work done, alone.

"Do you have something to hide?" He asked, leaning a bit closer, his eyes gleaming mischievously as he stared up at you.

You looked into his annoyed before sighing and turning back to your computer.

"I just listen to unreleased music up there, happy?"  He hummed in response, not entirely convinced, but he let it go, turning his attention back to his phone.

"Are you busy tonight? I need to come over so we can discuss a new plan and get started." You didn't break any contact from your computer, typing steadily.

"You're not very patient are you?" He chuckled, scrolling through his phone. 

"I just like to get things done." You responded. 

He looked up from his phone, eyebrow raised as he stared at you suspiciously, as if he heard that line before.

"Yeah, that's fine. Come over at 6pm, I'll text you the address." He answered, looking down at his phone again.

"Ok, now get off your phone and give me your email so we can start working." You said.

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes but complied, turning off his phone as he rattled off his email address.

══════════════════════════

You stood at his apartment door, annoyed as no one came to let you in. You turned around, getting ready to leave. The day had already been stressful, and now you were almost at boiling anger.

"Where are you going?"

His voice stopped you in your tracks. You didn't want to turn around, didn't want to acknowledge him—everything in you screamed to leave, but something about his voice pulled you back.

Slowly, you turned to face him, your gaze locking onto his. Haechan stood in the doorway, his frame leaning casually against the doorframe, eyebrows raised as if he hadn't just kept you waiting. 

"What took you so long?" You walked toward him, your tone sharp as you fought to keep your composure.

"I was jerking off." He said sarcastically, a cocky smirk landing on his face as you looked at him with annoyance and disgust.

"Ah!" He yelped suddenly, launching himself toward you in mock attack, his hands making an exaggerated gesture as if he was going to grab you.

"Stop that was disgusting Haechan, what the fuck is wrong with you, seriously?" You asked, voice in obvious irritation. 

He rolled his eyes, moving out the way so you could walk in. "Learn to take a joke." 

Even though you had just got there he was already getting on your nerves. 

You walked into his studio apartment, even though it was small, he made it look quite spacious and comfortable. His room was quite dark, purple and blue led lights surrounding his desk that sat next to his messily made bed, the atmosphere felt almost... intimate.

"It's so dark and scary in here." You joked trying to shake off your earlier discomfort, setting down your belongings and taking a seat on his bed.

Haechan said nothing, his face unreadable as he sat down in his desk chair, spinning it slightly to face you.

"So, why do you have a big microphone and a gaming headset?" you asked, pointing to the equipment scattered across his desk.

He looked at you, his expression unreadable but his jaw tightening. "What do you mean?"

"I mean... why the big setup?  You recording something? Streaming? Or... something else?"

He shifted uncomfortably in his chair, his gaze darting to the microphone and then to the floor. "I just like good audio." He muttered defensively.

"Good audio for what?"

For a moment, he said nothing, only licking his lips as if buying time. 

"Huh?" You spoke in a mocking tone, raising your eyebrows as you looked at him. "You can't answer?"

"God, why are you so noisy geez." He spoke defensively,  getting up from his chair and snatching the cord from the computer, grabbing the microphone, throwing it in a drawer with more force than necessary.

"Oh, so when you ask questions I'm supposed to just answer, but when I ask you it's different?" You stood up, crossing your arms as you glared at him.

"Yes." He crossed his arms too, mimicking you with a smug expression.

"Do you have something to hide Haechan?" You asked softly, inching closer to him, his sparkling eyes looking into yours as you moved closer.

"Ha, no." He chuckled lightly, though it came out shaky, his shoulders stiffening as he backed up against the desk, knocking into it with a soft thud.

 "Shit." He whispered, turning around quickly, scrambling to pick up all the items that fell, growing startled as he turned back around to see you standing in front of him.

"Why are you so nervous Haechan?" You murmured faintly, your voice drifting into his ears, making his mind race.

"I'm- I'm not" His voice cracked, betraying him as he forced out a chuckle, but it died quickly.

"You sure about that?" you whispered, leaning in just a bit more, your eyes locked on his. You could practically feel his pulse as it quickened at the base of his neck.

His eyes flickered down to your lips before darting back up.

"You act like you're so tough, like you got everything figured out, but here you are, all jumpy and flustered." You teased.

Haechan let out a slow breath, his hands grabbing the edge of his desk, trying to hold himself up. "You think you know me?" His voice was low, barely more than a growl as he tried to regain control of the situation.

You smirked, backing up just a little, giving him space to breathe. "I'm starting to get the picture."

He stood there, silent for a moment, watching you with wary eyes. The tension between you was heavy, but before either of you could say anything more, his phone buzzed on the desk.

He glanced at the screen, then back at you, something unreadable passing over his face. "You gonna stay and work, or you leaving?"

"Let's just get this done." You said, taking a deep breath, breaking eye contact as you turned toward the bed.  

The room felt different now, charged with something unsaid. You settled back onto the bed, pulling your laptop onto your lap, feeling Haechan's gaze on you. 

"Hurry up and pull out your laptop. I don't wanna be here all night." You spoke, turning to him.

His tongue grazed the inside of his mouth as he looked at you with irritated eyes. "Ok." 

══════════════════════════

It had been over a month since you and Haechan have become friends, and you could say that he was bearable now— ok, you were kinda in love with him. How could you not be? His witty personalty, his face, his voice it was hard to not fall for him, especially when you saw him everyday. You and him were always together, hanging out mostly everyday, even after the project, so it wasn't a surprise when you got a text from him. 

hey, can you come over im boreddd? 

yeah 

doors unlocked, just come in.

ok

"Welcome home." He joked as you walked in. 

You smiled, setting down your stuff at the door, removing your shoes to join him on the bed. He was wearing his signature outfit, a black shirt and gray sweatpants—thick frames sitting on his face, his black hair messily in a middle part.

"So what do you want to do?" He asked, turning to you.

"I don't know Haechan you invited me over." You responded, scrolling on your phone. 

"Let's just watch a movie." He said.

You nodded in response, prompting him to get up to grab some snacks. 

Your eyes scanned the room, stopping at his computer. Soundcloud was wide open, the screen pretty much screaming for your attention, and there you saw a familiar banner. 

"What chips do you want." He asked, looking over to you, noticing you staring at the computer. You broke contact with the computer, looking at him, still a little taken aback. 

"Uh, it- it doesn't matter." You said, looking back at the computer subconsciously. His eyes joined yours, staring at the computer screen then back into yours. 

"Oh oops, is it too bright?" He asked, walking over to his desk and exiting out of the tab, turning down the computer brightness. 

"Yea thanks." You giggled, turning back to look at your phone. 

Your head flooded a thousand thoughts. 

Ok, you could be overreacting and he could just be a pervert like you and you both happened to listen to the same guy, or it could be something he just stumbled across, but everything lined up so perfectly. 

You turned the phone away from him, turning down your brightness as you opened Soundcloud. You went straight to his profile and the banner was obviously the same, no denying that, but you looked around the account for more hints. You couldn't find anything else, it's not like you could ask him anyways, right? 

You were about to give up, but you took another good look at the profile, his banner catching your attention. You sat examining the username that was in the center 'hcillusion119." What could that mean? 

"Hey Haechan."

"What?" He turned to look at you. 

"If you had to choose a number what would it be? Make it in the hundreds." 

"I don't know, maybe one hundred and nineteen."

Your eyes widened as you stared at your phone. No way...

"What are your initials again?" You asked, looking at your phone.

"LDH, Why?" He asked.

"Huh, where did the D come from?" You turned to him with questioning eyes. 

"That's my real name Y/n. My other initials are LHC, Why are you asking?" He answered with a snarky tone. 

You sat staring at him for a second, the user name replaying over and over again in your mind. That was it— the hc stood for Haechan. Of course he would choose a name like that: 'Haechan Illusion 119', it was right in front of your face. 

"I have to go to the bathroom, take a second to get back normal because you're acting weird." He said, interrupting your thoughts.

You turned to him nodding, going back on your phone like there wasn't a care in the world. You sat there waiting patiently for the bathroom door to shut and lock, waiting a few seconds before sprinting up, taking a seat in his computer chair. 

Thankfully, he didn't lock the computer, so you could easily access everything. You turned the brightness up and quickly typed in the website, before you even typed in the whole word it came up. You clicked on it, and there it was— that banner, those audios, and a 'edit' button. 

Your eyes widened, you always had a feeling that it was him, especially when you heard his voice, but something was telling you that it was too good to be true— this explained everything. 

The microphone, why he was persistently trying to get into your insta, why he asked about Soundcloud on your phone, everything was piecing together. You quickly typed instagram on the search bar, praying that it was logged in, and thank goodness it was. You went straight to his dms, a whole bunch of randoms of course, but then you saw it: 'unknown825'. You sat still for a second, staring at your username, clicking on it. You laughed to yourself quietly, you didn't know whether to feel relived, nervous, or...

"It's you, isn't it?" he said from behind you, startling you. 

You turned around, heart racing. "I- um-" You stuttered, locking eyes with him, still sitting in the chair as he drifted towards you.

"You know, the first day we met in class I had a feeling it was you, but I didn't wanna jump to conclusions— goodness you looked like you were about to fall apart every time I spoke though, how could I not get suspicious?" 

"I don't know what you're talking about Haechan." Your response came out a little less convincing than you thought. 

"I tried to get into your insta, but there was nothing. I looked on your computer, nothing as well. Soundcloud? logged out. God you're good at hiding this." He inched closer and closer to you, your breathing getting heavier with every step. 

"I couldn't just ask, expose what I do if it wasn't you. You thought the same thing too right, wanted to ask, but you couldn't? You had nothing to lose regardless, but I took you for one of those kind of girls— the kind that acts all innocent in front of everyone, but has a deeper, dirtier secret that you're hiding." His voice was seductive, yet mocking as well, you cant say that it didn't hurt your ego a little to spoken to like a little slut who got caught doing something they weren't supposed to be doing. 

"What, the cat got your tongue? What happened to you being so dominant?" He teased, sitting on his bed next to the chair, grabbing the arm rest and turning you to face him. 

"You know, if you're wrong then you look like a fucking idiot." You scoffed.

You tried to make yourself sound as convincing and possible, tried to make the situation seem like it didn't bother you, but honestly you were a little uptight about it. It's all fun and games when it's on the phone and you could just block each other and not talk ever again, but in person it was so much more.

"There she is, the Y/n I know and love. You know, I've waited for this moment. The moment where you would finally be so fucking desperate to know if it was me, been waiting for you to go through my stuff. You wouldn't do it though, surprisingly, so I just gave you a little push." He smiled, placing his hand on your knee. 

You shoved his hand off of you. "What are you talking about, gave me a little push?" You asked, giving him questioning eyes.

"You think I would just keep Soundcloud wide open on my computer Y/n, be serious? I thought you were smarter than that." He smiled cockily, titling his head as you looked deeply into his eyes.

It was a setup. He set this whole thing up to catch you on purpose, and you fell right into his fucking trap. 

"You're despicable. You did it, you caught me... now what?" You asked, leaning back in the chair, crossing your arms.

He took a look at the computer that was behind you, pointing to it, prompting you to look. You can't lie and say that you and hcillusion119, well, Haechan didn't do this call thing often, and that's exactly what he was hinting at— the call that took place two days ago. 

"Remember what you said we would do if we were together, what you would do to me?" He asked, his sweet, desperate voice melting your brain like ice cream on a hot summer day. 

"No Haechan, I don't remember."

Of course, you remembered. How could you forget? Every late night conversation was carved into your mind. Each call felt like an escape, an intimate secret between just the two of you, leaving you aching for more. Now, the weight of his presence made it impossible to deny your own desires. You were curious...no, desperate to know if what you shared over the phone would be even more intoxicating in person.

"Let me remind you... please?" he whined, his voice tugging at something deep within you. He leaned down, his hand trembling slightly as he grabbed yours, guiding it to his cheek. The warmth of his skin sent shivers through your body, and without thinking, your thumb began to gently stroke his face.

His eyes closed as he leaned into your touch, his breath coming out in shaky sighs. "I'll be your good boy." he whispered, barely audible.

Your heart raced, the thrill of finally having him in front of you, not just a voice through a phone but real, and within reach. You could see the way his lips parted slightly, the rise and fall of his chest. It felt good to finally be close, to finally have him like this.

Without breaking eye contact, you slowly withdrew your hand from his cheek. His eyes snapping open, filled with need, searching your face as you got up from your seat. His gaze followed you, not wanting to  even be an inch away from you.

"Go to the headboard." You murmured softly.

Haechan reacted instantly, rushing to the head of the bed, pressing his back firmly against the headboard. He adjusted his glasses, his lips slightly parted, eyes locked onto yours.

You crawled onto the bed, your movements slow. His breath hitched as you came wanting more, needing you. You reached him, your body hovering just above his, your fingers grazing the side of his face again.

"Tell me," you whispered, leaning in close enough for your breath to ghost over his lips. "what did I say I was gonna do?"

His eyes sparkled, you could see him unraveling, caught in the web of everything you had both imagined during those late nights. You both knew that you imagined each other's faces on those calls after you met in person for the first time, and now it was all a reality. 

“You said... you'd make me beg." His voice was a trembling whisper

"So beg me." You whispered, your voice soft, lips brushing against his ear, sending a wave of heat through him.

You felt him tense under your fingertips. His eyes, wide and pleading, locked onto yours with a desperation that made your heart pound. "Can I kiss you?" he asked, voice small, almost a whimper.

You smiled at the sight of him completely undone in front of you. You slowly lifted his glasses up onto his forehead, pushing the messy strands of his hair away from his face. Your fingers lightly grazed his skin, and he closed his eyes, leaning into your touch.

"That's not how you ask." You teased, your voice low as you leaned in closer, just enough for your lips to brush his, but not meet fully.

He let out a shaky breath, his body trembling with need. "Please... Can I please kiss you Y/n? I need you," he breathed, his voice barely holding together. "I want your lips on mine so bad."

Your smile deepened as you leaned in, teasingly grazing your lips against his again, just barely. His lips parted, waiting for you to close the gap, but you pulled back, watching as frustration and longing flooded his expression. He swallowed hard, his eyes darkening with desire as he leaned closer, his forehead resting against yours.

"Please." He whispered.

You finally gave in, pressing your lips against his in a heated, passionate kiss. The moment your lips met, it was like something electric passed between you both. The kiss deepened as his lips moved urgently against yours, tongues tangling together as if you were both trying to consume each other, neither wanting to pull away. You melted into him, your body pressing closer.

The kiss broke only when you both needed air, both of you gasping as you parted. Haechan's lips were swollen, his breath shallow, his chest heaving as he stared at you, his eyes filled with lust.

"Can I touch you?" He whispered, his voice needy.

You nodded, your heart racing even faster as he shifted you higher in his lap, his hands trailing slowly, up your sides. His fingers caressed your skin through your clothes and you felt his breath hitch as he buried his face into the crook of your neck, kissing your skin softly at first, then harder.

His lips moved down, sucking and biting gently at your skin, leaving marks. His hands explored your body, grabbing, squeezing, and pulling you closer, his touch growing more possessive with every second. His hips moved beneath you, the friction of his lap against you sending waves of heat pooling in your stomach. You gasped as he rocked you back and forth, grinding you against him.

Small, breathy moans escaped your lips as his mouth moved from your neck, traveling down to your collarbone, where he kissed and nipped at your skin, his hands sliding lower, gripping your hips firmly and guiding your movements against him.

"Fuck... feels so good." He whimpered, his voice strained as he broke away from your skin, his head falling back against the headboard. His eyes were half lidded as he watched you move.

Your hands found their way into his hair, tugging lightly as he groaned, his body reacting to every touch, every movement. His grip on your waist tightened, and you felt him twitch beneath you as he pulled you even closer, his hips bucking up against you.

"God Y/n." He whispered breathlessly, lips finding yours again, the kiss hungry and desperate, his tongue exploring your mouth as if he couldn't get enough of you.

He pulled back slightly, looking into your eyes. "I wanna taste you." He desperately spoke, looking at you with begging eyes.

Your fingers slid through his hair as you watched him, his breath quickening, his hands resting on your hips. He was desperate for your permission.

"I wanna taste you." He repeated. He was looking up at you, his lips parted, pleading. "Please Y/n... I'll make you feel so good, I promise."

You let out a soft hum, your fingers tracing along his jaw, watching as his body visibly tensed, waiting for your response. You could see the hunger in his eyes, the way he couldn't tear his gaze away from you. He was completely under your control, willing to do anything you asked.

"You'll do exactly what I want?" You whispered, your thumb grazing over his cheek as you leaned closer, teasing him with the lightest touch. He swallowed hard, nodding quickly.

"Yes—yes." He breathed, his voice barely holding together. His eyes were wide, shimmering with anticipation, his grip on your hips tightening, almost as if he were afraid you'd pull away. "Please, just let me. I'll make you feel so good Y/n, I swear."

Your lips curved into a small smile as you stroked the side of his head, leaning in just enough for him to feel the warmth of your breath. "Then go ahead baby. Make me feel good."

The moment the words left your mouth, his eyes lit up. Without wasting another second, he gently pushed you onto your back, his hands moving with urgency as he pulled down your pants and underwear in one motion.

He paused for a moment, his gaze locking onto you with awe, like he was seeing something he had dreamed about for far too long. His hands traced along your thighs, and you could feel the faint trembling in his fingers as he spread your legs, positioning himself between them. His eyes grew wide as he took in the sight of you, his lips parting slightly as he let out a soft exhale, his breath warm against your skin.

"You're... perfect." He murmured, almost to himself, his voice barely above a whisper. He leaned in, his lips brushing your inner thigh, sending a jolt of pleasure up your spine. You could feel his desire, his need to please you.

Slowly, he began kissing his way up your thighs, his lips trailing delicately. Every kiss sent a spark of heat through your body, and you could feel your pulse quicken as he got closer and closer to where you wanted him most. His hands gripped your hips firmly, keeping you in place as his breath fanned over your core.

"Fuck..." he groaned, his voice low. You could feel the restraint in his body as he tried to hold himself back. His eyes flicked up to meet yours, and you saw nothing but hunger in them.

"You're so beautiful Y/n." He whispered before lowering his head between your legs, finally giving you what you'd been waiting for.

The first touch of his tongue against you was slow, he was savoring the taste of you. He let out a soft moan, the sound vibrating against your skin, sending waves of pleasure through your body. His hands held your thighs apart, his grip possessive but gentle as he worked his tongue in slow, sensual strokes.

"Oh my god." You moaned out, your hands tangling in his hair as he buried his face deeper between your legs, his tongue moving with more urgency now. He flicked his tongue against your clit, earning a gasped out of you, your back arching off the bed as he sucked lightly, sending jolts of pleasure through your entire body.

Haechan groaned against you, the vibrations from his voice adding to the sensation, and you could feel his desperation growing with every second. He was completely lost in you, every lick, every suck more intense than the last. His hands slid up your thighs, holding you steady as he devoured you, his tongue moving faster, more eagerly.

Your breaths came out in shallow gasps, your body trembling beneath his touch, and you could feel the heat building in your core, your stomach tightening with every flick of his tongue.

"Haechan... fuck." You whimpered, your grip tightening in his hair as he continued to work his mouth against you.

"Please Y/n, I want you to come for me." He groaned against your skin, his voice filled with desire. His tongue moved faster, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. "I need you."

You cried out, your entire body trembling as waves of pleasure washed over you, your grip tightening in his hair as you rode out your high, legs shaking. Haechan didn't stop, his mouth still working against you, drawing out your orgasm. 

Finally, he pulled back, his lips swollen and glistening, his eyes filled with satisfaction as he looked up at you.

"Did I do good?" He asked softly, his voice still breathless, his eyes searching yours. 

"Mhm." You hummed, your fingers gently stroking his cheek brushing away a few strands of hair. "You did so good for me." 

He smiled in response, leaning in to take your lips into a kiss.

Somehow, it was more passionate than the last. You two devoured each other, tongues tangling, your body heating up as you felt Haechan grind against you, trying to feel some type of friction.

"Fuck, I need to feel you... can I please feel you Y/n?" He whispered, his breath tickling your earlobe.

You pulled back slightly, your eyes meeting his. "Do you think you deserve it?" You asked teasingly.

His eyes locked onto yours. "I do... please, let me feel you." He pleaded.

You couldn't resist the sincerity in his eyes. With a playful smirk, you gestured for him to adjust, his back pressing against the headboard as anticipation swirled between you.

"If you think you deserve it, then take off your pants." you instructed, your voice firm yet inviting.

His eyes widened like he was in a dream.  Without hesitation, he slid down his pants, exposing his readiness to you, his eyes never leaving yours.

"Of course you're not wearing underwear." You laughed, crawling into his lap, his eyes filled with  excitement and shyness. 

"You're so fucking dirty." You whispered, threading your fingers through his hair, drawing a soft moan from him as you gave a gentle tug.

His glasses slipped to the bridge of his nose, but he seemed unconcerned, his attention solely on you. Any other time he would've voiced a rebuttal to your comment, but he needed you so bad he couldn't even find the words.

"Please." He murmured desperately.

Slowly, you adjusted yourself, guiding him to your entrance. Both of you moaned as you took him in, inch by inch, until he was fully in you.

He threw his head back against the headboard, overwhelmed by the sensation of your warmth surrounding him as you moved. "Fuck." he whimpered, his grip on your hips tightening.

"What, can you not handle it?" You teased.

"I—" He tried to speak before it was cut off by a small moan escaping as you pulled him deeper. "Can I move you?" He asked.

A soft nod was all he needed. His hands found your hips, guiding you, lifting you in a rhythm that soon had him whimpering your name, his movements becoming more desperate as your heat wrapped around him.

He had dreamed of this moment—the chance to feel you, and it was everything he'd imagined and more. "Fuck, feels so good." He whimpered.

His pace quickened, driven by your shared need, each whimper and sigh from you encouraging him to go deeper, faster.

"Fuck Haechan, you're so big." You moaned out, the words shooting straight to his pelvis. 

"Are you gonna be good for me and cum?" you whispered into his ear, your words sending a shiver of pleasure through his body.

"Yes, fuck, I'll be good for you." He moaned out, overwhelmed by the sensations pushing him closer to the edge. His glasses fogged with each heated breath.

His movements grew messy, each thrust sending him closer to the edge, you tightening around him.

"Fuck, gonna—cum.” He gasped, his body trembling beneath you.

"Cum for me, I'm almost there." You said, your stomach tightening as he hit your g-spot.

"Feels so good." He whimpered, the feeling of you clenching around him making him go almost insane. 

"Fuck— gotta pull out." He could barely get the words out, eyes squeezed shut, he felt dizzy. Even though his mouth said one thing, his hands kept moving you, keeping himself deep inside you.

"It's okay baby, fill me up." You moaned, the permission tipping him over the edge.

"Fuck I'm coming." He let out a choked whimper, finding his release, filling you full of his seed. His hands covered his mouth as he tried to hold in the cries that wanted to be let out. 

"Uncover your mouth."  You spoke, wanting to hear every precious sound he made, reaching your high shortly after. 

His hands fell away, gripping the sheets to ground himself. His moans turned into cries of pleasure as he twitched beneath you, riding out the last waves of pleasure together. 

"Shit." You said breathless, exhausted and satisfied, your head resting in the crook of his neck, your shared breath slowing to a gentle rhythm.

"Look at what you do to me." He muttered, obviously still winded.

"Look at what you do to me"  You said, gently cupping his face, smiling as you took in the mess you both became—his glasses fogged beyond use. 

He smiled lazily, resting his head on the head board as he let out a satisfied sigh, closing his eyes.

[guiltyc0nscience]

⋆˙⟡ against the board, chris sturniolo

hockeyplayer!chris x fem!reader

synopsis. in which chris' hockey game takes a turn when your ex-boyfriend makes a crude comment about you, causing chris to loose his temper and break-out an intense fight on the ice.

warnings. one weird comment (not from chris,) violence.

word count. 2.1k.

authors note. this is lowkey corny but i love this idea. ive seen it so many times from different fandoms. this is also going to be quite long because i probably won't be posting for a few weeks since i have loads of studying to do (shoot me now) so this will be the last fic of 2024.

the ice rink was alive with anticipation, the hum of the crowd growing louder with every passing minute. you sat near the glass, bundles up in your puffer coat and a scarf, the chill of the arena seeping through. your fingers tapped nervously on your thighs as you glanced at the empty rink, the zamboni making its last slow pass across the ice. tonight was a big game for his and his team--the stakes were high, and you could feel the tension hanging in the air like a storm waiting to break.

chris had been quieter than usual in the hours leading up to the game. normally, he was the kind of guy who thrived under pressure, making everyone laugh and offering his signature smirk even when the odds were staked against him. but tonight, he'd barely said a word during the drive to the arena.

"are you okay?" you'd asked softly as he adjusted his gear in the locker room hallway, is usual pre-game routine. he'd paused, meeting your eyes with a look that was equal parts determination and something else--something harder to place.

"yeah,"he'd said finally, his jaw tightening. "just...gotta focus tonight."

you hadn't pressed further. you knew chris well enough to recognize when he needed space, but you couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to his mood than just the pressure of the game.

now, as the players began to filter out onto the ice for their warm-ups, your heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. chris sturniolo, in his yellow, black and white jersey with the number 3 on the back, he looked every bit the confident athlete he was known to be. his skates cut smoothly across the ice as he joined his teammates, his focus razor-sharp.

but your gaze didn't linger on chris for long, because that's when he appeared. jason carter--your ex-boyfriend that you had completely forgotten was a forward for the opposing team--skated onto the ice with his trademark cocky grin that made a pit form in your stomach. you hadn't seen him in over a year, not since the messy breakup that left you vowing never to look back. yet here he was, every bit as insufferable as you remembered.

you sank deeper into your seat, hoping he wouldn't notice you. but you had no such luck. jason's eyes found yours almost instantly, and his smirk widened. he skated closer to the glass near where you sat, leaning just enough to make it clear he was there for you.

"looking good, y/n," jason drawled, loud enough for you to hear through the muffled sounds of the arena. he raked his gaze over you in a way that made your stomach churn. "miss me?"

your cheeks burned with anger and embarrassment, but you forced yourself to look away, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a reaction. behind jason, you caught sight of chris, who had slowed his pace, his eyes narrowing as he took in the exchange.

the buzzer sounded, signalling the start of the game, and the teams lined up for the face-off. chris and jason were positioned directly across from each other, their stances tense. from the stands, you could see the unspoken challenge in their postures. the puck dropped, and the game began.

it didn't take long for thing to escalate.

from the first shift, jason played with a kind of aggression that was impossible to ignore. every time he came near chris, he delivered an extra shove or cutting a remark, his words too low for the crowd to hear but clear enough to leave chris visibly bristling. you clenched your fists in your lap, helpless to intervene as the animosity between them grew with every passing minute.

then, it happened. midway through the second period , jason skated too close to chris after a whistle, leaning in with a smug grin.

"guess she still has a thing for hockey players," jason sneered, his voice carrying just enough to make chris stop in his tracks. "bet she thinks about me every time you're on top of her."

the words like a match to gasoline. before anyone could react, chris dropped his gloves and lunged at jason, his fist connecting with a sickening thud to jason's jaw.

the arena erupted into chaos as the two players grappled on the ice, punches flying and sticks scattering. referees rushed in to break them apart, but neither seemed willing to back down. chris' face was a mask of fury, his usual composure completely shattered as he went after jason with everything he had.

you stood frozen in your seat, heart pounding as you watched the scene unfold. the crowd on its feet, cheering and shouting, but all you could focus on was the raw anger in chris' eyes--and the way jason seemed to revel in provoking him and you were so intrigued to know what fuelled the fight.

this wasn't just a hockey game anymore. it was personal.

the referees struggled to pull chris and jason apart, their skates scraping harshly against the ice as they grappled with one another. jason's helmet had been knocked off during the scuffle, and his lip was bleeding, but he still wore that infuriating smirk, as if the chaos he'd caused was all part of his plan.

chris, on the other hand, was a storm unleashed. his usual calm demeanour was nowhere to be found as he fought against the refs holding him back. his eyes were locked on jason, pure rage flashing across his face.

"say it again, carter," chris spat, his voice carrying over the jeers of the crowd. "say it again, and see what happens."

jason wiped the blood from his lip with the back of his glove, looking far too pleased with himself. "what's the matter, sturniolo? cant handle a little truth?"

the refs managed to drag the two of them to opposite sides of the ice, but the damage was done. the tension between them had been building all game, and now it was at a boiling point. the opposing bench erupted in shouts as jason's teammates yelled for a penalty, while chris' team crowded around their captain, trying to calm him down.

from your seat, you could barely breathe. your pulse hammered in your ears as you watched chris pace the penalty box like a caged animal, his chest heaving with every breath. you wanted to reach out to him, to somehow let him know you were there, but all you could do was sit helplessly as the game resumed.

the rest of the second period was brutal.

every time jason had the puck, chris was on him like a shadow, delivering crushing hits that sent the crowd into a frenzy. jason wasn't innocent, either--he took every opportunity to jab at chris with his stick, his taunts coming thick and fast whenever they passed each other on the ice.

"man, she must've been desperate to end up with you," jason sneered during a face-off, his voice low but dripping with malice. "bet she regrets it every night."

chris' grip on his stick tightened, his knuckles turning white as he leaned in closer. "and you're gonna regret ever saying her name."

the puck dropped, and they collided instantly, neither even pretending to play the puck. the refs blew the whistle again, but this time, there was no fight--just an unspoken promise between the two players that this wasn't over.

by the time the third period began, the tension in the arena was palpable. the crow was buzzing, half-expecting another brawl to break out at any moment. chris and jason were relentless, their rivalry overshadowing the actual game. every check, every pass, every glance felt like a continuation of their battle, and you could see the frustration building in both of them.

you were on edge of your seat, your hands gripping the armrests so tightly that your knuckles ached. chris was playing harder than you'd ever seen, his focus unwavering despite the emotional weight of the situation.

but jason wasn't backing down, and with each passing minute, it became clear that this game wasn't going to end cleanly.

then, with less than two minutes left on the clock, it happened.

chris intercepted a pass near the blue line and started skating up the ice, his movements quick and precise. jason was right behind him, his stick darting out to try and trip chris up. the crowd roared as chris broke free, heading straight for the net, but just as he was about to shoot, jason slammed into him from behind, sending both of them crashing into the boards.

the whistle blew, but chris didn't wait for the refs this time. he spun around, shoving jason hard enough to send him stumbling backward.

"you're done," chris growled, his voice low and dangerous.

jason laughed, shrugging as if the whole thing was a joke. "make me."

and just like that, the gloves came off. again.

this fight was uglier than the first, both players fuelled by pure adrenaline and anger. punches were thrown, helmets flew, and the crowd was on its feet, screaming and chanting. you felt like you were in a nightmare, unable to look away as chris and jason tore into each other, their rage boiling over in a way that no amount of referees could contain.

the game didn't matter anymore. all that mattered was settling the score.

the final buzzer blared through the arena, and chris’ team secured the win, but the victory felt hollow compared to the chaos that had unfolded on the ice. you waited near the tunnel, your heart pounding as you scanned the crowd of players leaving the rink, searching for him.

when chris finally appeared, your breath caught. his jersey was wrinkled, his lip split, and a bruise was already darkening under his left eye. he looked utterly drained, but when his eyes met yours, there was a flicker of relief in his expression.

“chris,” you called out softly, stepping toward him as he dropped his bag.

without a word, he closed the distance between you, his arms wrapping around your waist as he pulled you into him. his embrace was warm, desperate, and unsteady, like he was holding onto you to keep himself grounded.

“are you okay?” you asked, your voice trembling slightly as you pulled back to look at him. your fingers instinctively reached for his face, brushing against the bruise forming near his cheekbone.

chris exhaled heavily, his hands still gripping your waist. “yeah. i’m fine. don’t worry about me.”

“don’t tell me not to worry,” you said firmly, your brow furrowing. “you got into two fights tonight, chris. that’s not like you. what happened out there?”

he hesitated, his jaw clenching as he avoided your gaze. “it’s nothing,” he said finally, his tone tense. “just… the usual trash talk. It doesn’t matter now. plus, your ex is a dickhead so he deserved it.”

“it clearly matters,” you pressed, your concern growing. “chris, talk to me.”

he sighed, his thumb brushing absentmindedly along your hip. “he crossed a line, okay? i let it get to me, and i shouldn’t have.”

you frowned, your fingers tracing the edge of his jaw. “what did he say?”

chris shook his head, his eyes finally meeting yours. “it doesn’t matter. i don’t want you thinking about it.”

you studied him for a moment, the tension in his expression, the way his grip on you hadn’t loosened. you wanted to push for answers, but something in his tone made you stop. he was protecting you, shielding you from whatever ugliness had unfolded on the ice between him and jason.

“okay,” you said softly, deciding to let it go for now. “but you didn’t have to do all this for me, you know. you didn’t have to fight him.”

chris’ eyes darkened, his grip on your waist tightening slightly. “yes, i did. i don’t care what happens to me out there. no one talks about you like that and gets away with it.”

your chest tightened at the conviction in his voice, and before you could think, you reached up and pulled him down into a kiss.

it was soft at first, tentative, but chris leaned into you, his hands sliding up to cradle your face as the kiss deepened. the noise of the arena faded into the background, and for a moment, it was just the two of you, wrapped in the warmth of each other’s presence.

when you finally pulled back, chris rested his forehead against yours, his breathing uneven. “you’re too good for me, you know that?”

you smiled, brushing a strand of hair away from his face. “maybe. but you’re stuck with me now.”

his lips quirked into a small smile, the tension in his shoulders easing for the first time all night. “i love you.”

you laced your fingers with his, giving his hand a squeeze. “i love you more. come on. let’s get you cleaned up.”

chris nodded, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer before he let you guide him toward the exit.

[millersfinest]

untethered² | e.w

00s!ellie williams & 00s!miller!reader

wc: 8.2 k

series: chapter one, chapter two (you’re here!), chapter three, chapter four, chapter five

blurb: it’s been awhile since you’ve been back home; in upstate new york where you’ve spent most of your life waking up early and tending to the animals that moo’d and meh’d. after graduation high school, and then college, the city life has stolen most of your attention. enabling you to visit only a handful of times through the years. when your lovely adoptive parents (tommy and maria miller) invite you back for a thanksgiving dinner—a troubled old flame from your childhood manages to get your attention, despite its explosive ending.

cw: lmao flip phones, r and ellie flirting/teasing each other, some vulgar language, ellie cheating on her gf, the millers, r is a writer, horndog ellie, elements of longing, ellie is #1 lesbian yearner in the world, some early 2000s references, thanksgiving, r is very jealous of cat, hella angst, rich!abby (one of r’s evil exes), emotional cheating (from ellie), repressed emotions, a little bit of mature content, eventual smut, some corny time period song drops.

note: okay, i tried to fit a lot of stuff into this but it was getting too long wink wink. i’ve introduced rich!abby, she’s literally a generational surgeon purr. when i was writing this i was listening to some early 00s music and burn from usher came on… that’s ellie’s anthem ya’ll (for cat) lmaooo. i may not post another chapter before the new year, soo happy early new years to my moots, readers and followers (pookies) <3

After spending an extra hour, or so, with Ellie in the kitchen—laughing under your hands, stuffing bread into your mouths; you set an alarm for 6am. The same time clock that sat on your bedside table from your youth. Surprisingly, it still worked—waking you up with that same traumatic sound it used to for school.

You efficiently got ready; as in, you put on hearty jeans, cowboy boots, and a throw-away sweater because you had an obligation to fill on the farm. Every time you came back home, it was habitual for you to resume the responsibilities you used to have when the farm was your primary residence.

Around 6:45, you met your parents downstairs to begin prepping and planning who was going to go where. There was usually only three of you, but as you hovered over the black coffee on the counter—in your favorite antique mug—the screen door pulled open to reveal a sleepy-looking Ellie Williams-Miller.

She had a thick, black headband pushing her hair back from her forehead, and a low bun. The whites of her eyes were a little irritated and low-hanging, like she was exhausted. “Mornin’, Ellie.” Tommy spoke, rasping slightly. You and Maria parroted him—you standing up straight, instead of leaning over the counter.

Ellie settled across from you, crossing her arms tightly over her chest as a comfort. She rarely ever knew where to put her hands. “Didn’t think you’d jump in so quick.” You commented, wrapping your hands around the warm coffee in your hands.

“The sooner the better.” She shrugged, a soft smile playing on her lips. “Is there any coffee left?”

Before your mother could leap to helping her out, you set down your mug. “‘Course there is. Hazelnut or Vanilla creamer?” You walk over to the pot, not forgetting to pull down a mug from the cabinet. It was offhanded, unintentional—but the ceramic mug you grabbed happened to be hers from the past. An off-white color with her initial on the front in maroon. Ellie used to come over so much, she had her own mug.

She was the first to notice, a blush blossoming on her freckled cheeks. “Hazelnut…”

Pouring the hot coffee a quarter of the way, you added the creamer and dropped a spoon inside to mix it. Ellie wasn’t the biggest fan of coffee, so it was more creamer than coffee. Behind you, your parents began explaining and refreshing the jobs they usually do in the morning. They plan to handle the cows, goats and shipments; while you and Ellie can handle the chickens, horses and garden. “Now, Bug, she’s gonna be taking over your job— so, instruct her well, please.”

“You got it, dude.” You curtly nodded, after making a cheesy Full House joke, sporting a thumbs up. The only person to chortle was Ellie, while her lips were still parted over the side of her mug.

Tommy and Maria put their hands in the middle, slapping on top of each other. “Lets break out—“

“Come on, dad, do we have to?” It was so natural for you to complain at his antics, calling him dad, that you didn’t realize who you were doing it in front of company until much later.

When you were a teenager, every morning your broke out like a team—because, basically, that’s what you were. Splitting to conquer more ground; it took teamwork. “Honey, we always break out.”

Ellie set her cup down, amused. “Don’t be such a negative Nancy, y/n.” She put her hand on top of theirs, raising her thick eyebrows. “Come on, break out.”

Rolling your eyes, you place your hand over her’s. “We’re the Miller’s on three.” You dragged, shaking your head. They all grinned around you like hyenas, and it amusingly pissed you off. One. Two. Three.

“We’re the Miller’s!” They exclaimed, along with yourself. Unable to remove the mirroring grin from your lips.

“All right, team. Let’s get to work.” Tommy asserted with a smile, drinking the rest of his coffee.

The four of you dispersed on the back porch. You scribbling on notebook paper to keep track of your duties. Ellie leaned her back against the railing, crossing her arms, with her eyes trained on your focused expression. “Okay… We’re starting off with the chicken’s— do you remember how?” You glance up, raising an eyebrow.

“Ehm,” She clears her throat, pushing off the railing. “Uhm, yeah, totally. We get the food, right? The pellets?”

“Yeah, and…” You put a hand on your hip, a teasing smirk on your lips.

She chews on her lip, averting her eyes. “Scoop it into troughs?” Ellie questioned, slowly, knowing she was incorrect. The young woman just wanted you to correct her.

“I’m afraid you’ve gotten yourself a bit mixed up, Els.” The nickname slipped from your lips sweetly, but unpredicted. You were both shocked and did a bad job of hiding it. Your lips opening and closing like a gaping fish; Ellie licking her lips, still rocking on her feet. But to be fair, you were friends before everything—it shouldn’t have been weird. “Sorry…”

“Why are you sorry? It’s my name…” Ellie shrugged.

“Let’s just get to the chicken coop.” You chuckle, hiding the nervousness by trotting off the porch. Her name was Ellie, not Els—people who were close to her called her that, and they weren’t close anymore. It was just an example of muscle memory, really.

Ellie tapped her hand against the wooden post, following in your footsteps. “Feels good to be back…” She mutters, walking with her hands behind her back.

“You’re always welcome here.” You respond, approaching the shed that held the chickens food and such. Your fingers worked at the metal latch, pushing open the door. It creaking loudly from the rusted hinges. “Help me fill the buckets?”

She nodded with tight lips, crouching down where you were in front of a large bag filled with their food. You dug for the scoop, frowning at the smell. Ellie had grabbed a bright orange bucket, placing it beside you. Her eyes watching you, intently. Taking in all of your movements while scooping the pellets into the bucket.

Feeling her eyes on you, it was easy to start conversation—transition from that pier of tension. “You looked pretty tired… I hope that wasn’t my fault.”

Ellie hummed, switching an empty bucket with the one you just filled, putting it to the side. “Oh, no, of course not. I had an idea for a sketch… So, stayed up and worked on that.”

You grinned, peering at her. “Hey, the farm’s already workin’, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” She chortled, averting her eyes.

Now, that was a clean cut lie. Ellie was a very smart girl—quick on her feet; she always has been. As she stood in that woody kitchen, munching on microwaved biscuits and giggling with her childhood ex-girlfriend… She had realized a fundamental truth. Or, more so, she was considering it. Perhaps, it wasn’t the farm she needed to sponsor her creativity.

It was you. In all of your self-made, manufactured glory. All it took was a glance for her to blossom with ideas—you were her muse.

That’s why she was up all night. She had propped herself on a stool, while her girlfriend slept, and began sketching where the both of you stood—by the shed. Ellie had drawn, scribbled, and shaded until the charcoal pencil fell from her fingers. Forcing her to rest, and by that time it was four in the morning.

Not without covering her work with a sheet, though. Your features were etched onto the canvas, that was too precious and vulnerable. Intimate. Telling.

Pulling her from her obsessive thoughts, you spoke. “Ellie, the bucket.” You bunched your eyebrows, with a tone insinuating that you’ve asked her more than once.

“Shit, my bad.” She stood up, picking one of them up by the metal handle. When she lifted it, she realized that she should consider weight lifting as a hobby—it was heavy. But, you held it in your hands as if it weighed no more than ten pounds. Ellie wasn’t right; the traits of a country girl never left you.

You began to walk out of the shed, toward the chicken coop, which was only a few steps away. “You know, I can let you off the hook if you wanna go take a nap, or something. We have, like, five more days for me to show you the ropes.”

“Really, it’s fine. You know I get a little spacey sometimes.”

“Yeah, when there’s a lot on your mind.” You pointed out, arriving at the coop. Opening the gate, you walk to another, slightly shorter gate to release the chickens. “Your breakfast has arrived!”

You set the bucket on the ground, Ellie doing the same, and you began to scoop out the pellets onto the dirt. They clucked and hopped around, pecking at the small pieces of food littered around. “Is there a lot on your mind?”

She hesitated to answer, dumping the rest of the pellets onto the ground. “Little bit…”

“Well, let this be a release from whatever you’re thinkin’ about. Not a distraction, but a release— it’ll keep you focused.”

Instead of pressing for what was on her mind, you responded with more thoughtful words. The fact that the both of you allowed your closeness to disintegrate or untether; you didn’t have much of a place to inquire. Asking too many questions could lead to fighting—if she were anything how she used to be. And you didn’t want to pry, even though a part of you assumed her exhaustion had something to do with Cat.

Ellie hummed once more, with her hands on her hips, watching you scratch their little heads. “Horses are next, right?” She questioned, blinking at you as if she were in a daze.

You chortle. “Yep. Excited to see Shimmer and Tokyo, huh?” A grin spread across your lips as you approached the gate. You paused, gasping, before you turned back to the auburn-haired woman. “Fuck, I have a surprise for you— almost forgot!” Rushing to grab her hand, you pull her out of the chicken coop. Keeping a firm grip on her palm; Ellie’s lightly holding yours as you pulled her toward the horse barn, glancing at her hand being embraced. It was a little ways so, despite the cool, morning air, sweat beaded between your palms.

But, since she was so enamored by your excited spirit, she held on.

When you arrived, that’s when you released her hand, unlocking the latch. Before your opened the door, you turned toward her faux lax expression. “Shimmer is, now, a mother…” You began, pushing open the door. Ellie gasped, grinning wide like a child before an arcade. “To a beautiful foal Tommy named Sarah.” You introduced coming up on their division.

“Holy shit,” She cursed, still grinning ear to ear. Her white teeth sparkling against the rays of the morning sun that peaked through the wooden panels in the barn. Shimmer peaked her head over the gate once she saw Ellie—like she never forgot about her. Nobody had. “Congrats, Shimmer.” She ran her hand along her strong jaw; the horse nuzzling into her touch.

Her olive eyes peered down, noticing the much smaller foal. Her coat was the same color as her mothers, but her hair had a blonder touch. “Can I?” She looked over at you.

“You don’t have to ask— she’s your horse, too.” You waved your hand. “I’ll go ahead and grab their food.” Leaving them alone, you hear Ellie marveling at Sarah. Causing a chuckle to leave your lips. You pet the other horses—Tokyo, Hamlet, and Ophelia—on the way to the other end of the barn.

Packing the buckets with differing pellets and chaffs, you filled their troughs and opened up their gates. Saving Shimmer and Sarah for last.

You walked over, leaning against the open gate. Sarah had nestled between Ellie’s crossed legs as she sat in the hay. Leaning into her gentle caresses. “I’m assuming she’s named after Joel’s daughter?” She asked, looking up at you from the ground.

“You assumed right.” You nodded, pressing your lips into a line.

“Does Joel know?”

“Not yet. It was a surprise for both of you.” You told, taking the liberty to join her on the ground. “I’m sure Tommy’ll say somethin’ by the end of the day.” Your fingers nestle through her course blonde hair. She was only about a week old, and the softness of her hair was already leaving. A sigh falls from your lips, glancing up at your old friend. Her eyes were already trained on your features, intently. Like she was trying to remember the intricacies of your face. “You think he’ll like it? Naming Shimmer’s baby after her?”

Ellie blinked, running her tongue over hr lips. “Uh, yeah— I think he’ll love it.” She chuckled, boyishly. The side of her lips curling up, as her eyes cast back toward the happy foal. “He’d probably want pictures of her everyday…”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t mind taking the pictures…”

“I sure as hell wouldn’t.” She affirmed. “If I didn’t, he’d blow up my cell.”

You laughed, backing up against the wall, leaning your head back as you peered at her. “He would wouldn’t he?”

A pair of footsteps caught your attention, and for a moment you thought it was your parents. You prepared to get up, but a new face came around the corner. Her brown eyes were sleepy, and she still was dressed in her pajamas. Hay clinging to the hem of her plaid pajama pants. “I was told that I’d find you here…” She spoke, mostly to the auburn-haired woman beside you.

“Mornin’,” You smiled, awkwardly. Standing up from where you sat. Cat smiled at you, but her eyes quickly moved back to Ellie.

“Ellie, can we talk?” She softly asked, fiddling with her fingers.

From the ground, she sighed, unmoving. “I’m kind of busy… Can it wait?” Ellie lifted her eyebrows, squinting at her girlfriend because of the sun’s rays. Her olive eyes practically glowing as the sun reflected through them.

“No. It can’t wait.”

“I can step out…” You offered, placing a hand on Shimmer. “She’s missing out on some grazing time, anyway.”

“No, it’s fine.” “Thanks,” Both Ellie and Cat spoke, causing you to pause in your steps. You bunched your eyebrows at Ellie, making an expression that read: talk to her! Ignoring the pleas of her beautiful features, you pulled Shimmer from her space. Leaving the two to talk.

It was always about saving face for you—you didn’t want to give the wrong impression to Cat. It was obvious that she knew about your past; you hoped that she did. Maybe, in a possessive way—in a way of I know her more than you. Or, in a way of context. That was something you were still trying to figure out.

Either way, your feelings for Ellie was private; something you were battling, as if it were a disease. Because it was wrong to hold onto a fragment of a memory—loving someone who was taken. It was childish. Letting them talk was putting a leash on yourself. There was nothing like some good ol’ fashioned self control.

While you contemplated, watching the horses meander around, getting their fresh air—conversation happened in the barn. Around the innocent, nuzzling foal, Sarah. “I just wanted to let you know… That I’m not mad at you.” Cat spoke, genuinely, leaning against the wooden gate. Her voice was firm and far from soft. “You know how I can get easily overwhelmed—“

“Cat, overwhelmed? You got pissed with me because I was asking her questions. That’s it.” Ellie retorted, narrowing her eyes. “I haven’t seen or spoken to her in fucking years. Do you expect me not to be interested in what she’s doing?”

“Okay, Ellie. My fucking bad!” She slapped her hands against her legs. “My bad for considering your history with each other— I’m being a jealous bitch. There. I said it for you.” Her arms crossed over her chest. “Can we just stop acting weird? I don’t wanna fight. Not here.”

Ellie allowed Sarah to stand, walking from her space to where her mother was. Around the corner, entertaining you, although your peeving ear was open to their conversation. Even though, you couldn’t hear much.

She stood up, dusting herself off. “I’d never call you a jealous bitch…” Ellie muttered, approaching her, settling her hands on her jaw. “You have nothing to worry about, kitty Cat.” She spoke like a wish, leaning into the place a chaste kiss on her lips. Cat had shut her eyes, not noticing the glance Ellie made out the open barn doors at you—the back of you. Just before her lips met hers. She tried to keep Ellie, moving her lips against hers, but she pulled away, swiftly. “I have to get back to work, all right. No hard feelings?”

She sighed, pouting. “None at all… See you later?” Cat wondered, letting her hands drift down to her belted hips.

“See you later.” She smiled, pulling away from her.

Cat left the barn, waving at you on her way out. “See you, y/n!” She waved, wiggling her fingers. Her voice was sweet, but for some reason you didn’t like how smooth your name came from her mouth. But, regardless, you smiled back.

Ellie emerged from the barn with her hands in her pockets. She stopped where you were, watching the horses—mainly Sarah. “How’d it go?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest.

“You remember Dina and Jesse, right?” She changed the subject.

You scrunched your eyebrows at the random question, peering over at her. “Uh, yeah. Why wouldn’t I?”

“They’re going to a bar later… The Tipsy Bison, If you wanna—“

“Oh, I don’t know.” You interrupt, shaking your head. Chewing on your bottom lip, keeping your eyes trained on the trotting horses. The moment the relationship between you and Ellie was severed; that severed whatever bond you had with them. Jesse tried to stay in contact passively—when MySpace came out, he friended you. However, Dina was nowhere to be found. She must’ve hated your guts, right?

“What? You don’t drink either?” She chuckled, covering her nervousness.

Pressing your lips together, you narrowed your eyes at her. “It’s been too long…” You shook your head. “I don’t know…”

“Come on,” She drawled, like a youthful plea.

“This is peer pressuring. Did we not learn about this is school?” Your feet carried you away from the horses, toward the garden. She followed after you with a sickening grin.

You pulled out your checklist, checking off the box by chickens and horses—clicking your pen with a smirk on your face. “Peer pressure… Shmeer Shressher.” Ellie rolled her eyes.

“Ellie, I don’t know. I might have something to write for my editor— let me think about it.” You made up an excuse on the spot, but it wouldn’t be a surprise if you opened up your email to see several messages from Isa Raymond.

“Don’t tell me you’re a workaholic, too?”

“I’m not.”

“Kind of seems like it.” Ellie shrugged.

You hit her arm with the back of your hand. “Whatever, Ellie. Think what you want.” The both of you arrive at the greenhouse. It smells of fresh soil and misty air—fairly comforting. When you were younger, it was the second best part of the farm for you. The horse barn being the first, of course. “This part is the simplest; just make sure all the veggies and plants are watered accordingly.”

You pick up a gallon half-full tin watering can, handing it to her. She took it from you with both hands, fingers grazing, lightly. “Oh, shit— I wasn’t paying attention with the horses. What do you feed ‘em?” Ellis began to stroll down the aisles, watering the soil.

“No worries, it seemed important.” You shrugged, mentioning the conversation between her and Cat. “I’ll just show you on the way back. It’s pretty simple— woah, not too much!” You place a hand on her wrist. She was pouring too much water into one of the potted plants. Her eyes locked onto yours, opened wide. “Sorry, I should’ve said this before… The potted plants need less water than the veggies.” She kept looking at you, the ends of her lips curling. “Carry on,” You urged, walking past her—in front of her, holding your own hands in front of you.

She couldn’t help but watch you go—hell, that’s all she’s been doing since she saw you. Watching. There was nothing wrong with that. Even if her eyes drifted to the way your hips were hugged in the jeans your wore. The sliver of skin that exposed when you bent down, or crouched, or even swayed your hips.

“So…” Ellie began, heading to your word and carefully watering. “Are you seeing anyone in Manhattan?” She asked, shamelessly with a perked eyebrow.

You pivoted, leaning your back against one of the aisles of vegetation. “Off and on…” Shrugging, you surprised yourself with how quickly you responded. “Dating in New York is like setting yourself on fire… And I don’t like getting burned.” You pursed your lips, flickering your eyes from her and the tomato’s. “Why? Is there someone you’d wanna set me up with—? I could use the help.” You joke, beginning to fiddle with the waxy leaves.

She snickered, approaching you with the tin watering can. Pouring nutrient liquid onto the carrot sprouts. “Dina, maybe?”

“Awe, you’re so funny.” You clap your hands together, sarcastically, leaning your chin on your hand.

“If you come out tonight, you can see just how funny I am.” She set the can down.

“I don’t have to go to a bar to see how funny you are. I’m laughing right now, aren’t I?” You mock a fake laugh, pointing at your mouth. Ha Ha. Ha Ha.

Wrapping your hands around the handle of the watering can, you pulled it from her to take over her job. “Just come, y/n! Wouldn’t it be nice to get the gang back together?”

A scoff fell from your lips. “It’s been a while since the gang was together, Ellie.” Occupying your attention with plants you watering. You fought to fight the frown attempting to grow on your lips, pressing them together and turning your body enough for her not to notice.

Ellie dragged her feet, following you. “It’s been eight years…”

Sighing, you slightly slam the can down, not enough to make a fuss but enough to signal your irritation. “Have you forgotten about what happened eight years ago?” You questioned, sternly.

She paused, inhaling, sharply. Ellie scratched her jaw, nodding her head. “Nope.” While she was taken aback by your sudden sternness; there was something that excited her about that pinched look on your face. The auburn-haired young woman has grown a lot since her youth.

“Okay, then.” You pouted. “Let’s just wrap this up, so we can reconvene with my parents— make sure all this stuff is done.”

And that’s exactly what the both of you did. The jokes and silly conversation ceased, and you basically finished in awkward silence. On the way back to the house, you showed her which foods to give to which horse, clinically. That playful look on your face was replaced with the one that exposed your unnerved feeling—from the horrifying mention of what happened eight years ago.

At the front porch, the pair of you separated. She waved a fiddly hand, peering over her shoulder as she walked back to the guesthouse. With a pair of shoulders that were slumped lower than they were from the morning.

Ellie didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable—she should’ve never pushed you to hang out with her later. Perhaps, she got too comfortable too fast; but that’s just the type of person you were. Easily acclimatizing. It didn’t matter how much space could be between you and another person—you always found a way with making them feel at home. However, when you pull back, it’s a cold feeling. She just wanted to look at you some more, talk to you some more; be around you some more. Ellie couldn’t deny how refreshing it was.

You met with your parents assuring them that everything was done. They asked about Ellie, but you said she took all the information fine. She’ll probably just need a few days to really lock it in—but, you couldn’t stay long to chat. It was about nine in the morning, and you had to check your email and cell for messages.

First, you showered to get the smell of animal off of you. As much as you loved them, the stench was awful and you’d rather die than let it get stuck to the comforter of your bed. Then, you hopped onto your reading nook, and began going through your emails.

Scroll, scroll, Isa Raymond. Scroll, scroll, Frank St. James… Frank St. James—that was your editor! “Fuck,” You swore under your breath, clicking the bolded words, your heart grew nervous. What if he didn’t like it? You always took criticism much harder when writing the essay’s for your book because everything comes from your experience—your spirit.

Your eyes panned over the words, seeing nothing but: phenomenal, and powerful, and effective, and most importantly, this will be the perfect addition to your bigger work. “Fuck, yeah!” You shouted, pumping your fist in the air.

A head peaked through your door, dark brown hair crowded with grays, and aged brown eyes. “Are we celebrating somethin’?”

Looking up, you smile at Joel, pushing your laptop to the side. “Yeah, actually. One of my chapters got approved by my editor.” You sighed, happily.

“Looks like that book really is comin’ along…” Joel hummed, sporting a proud look on his face. “Good thing Ellie and I made some breakfast— hot and ready! Do your parents have any champagne, so we can celebrate with some mimosa’s?”

Standing to your feet, you waved a hand. “It’s not that serious, Joel.” You chuckle, letting your hands rest on your hips.

“You think mimosa’s are serious? Whew, you need to come back home more often.” He joked, leaning on the threshold of your door.

Rolling your eyes, playfully, a chuckle leaves your throat. He was always so supportive. For a moment you though you lost the opportunity to see that side of him a long time ago. “There might be some in the fridge… And some cranberry juice.” He nodded, pumping his fist—him and Ellie were so much alike. “Give me, like, five minutes and I’ll be down. I have to respond to some messages.”

“Of course, workin’ girl. But don’t let your mimosa get warm… Or your food get cold— we worked hard on it.”

“I won’t.” You smiled, watching him leave your door. Quickly, you pulled out your cell, checking your messages. Some complaining messages from Sierra, Isa Raymond complimenting you—which she didn’t do often—and, a message from a past love interest, Abby Anderson.

Abs: I’m gonna be in your hometown for a few days, seeing some friends. We’re going to a bar later, you should come!

You hesitate to respond, but you do.

You: Oh, nice! Which bar?

There weren’t many bars where you came from, it was fairly small. But, you were getting an inkling that it was the same bar Ellie had invited you to—the Tipsy Bison.

Abs: Tipsy Bison, I believe.

You: I’m totally in. Could definitely use a drink right now.

Abs: Want me to come by and pick you up? I drove the Jaguar ;)

You: As tempting as that sounds, I already have a ride. See you then, Abby.

You slapped your phone shut to meander downstairs to the breakfast that awaited you. On a hot plate, made by Joel and Ellie themselves—which, typically, was delicious. They were both wonderful cooks.

Stepping down the stairs, you heard a sound come from your silver cell. You flipped it open with a sigh, seeing Abs highlighted by a green line.

Abs: Oh, damn… Abby. We’re not on nickname basis anymore?

You pursed your lips, shaking your head as you reached the bottom step.

You: Be normal about this, because I could’ve said no.

Shutting your phone, you slid them into the pocket of your pajama shorts. To purposefully ignore the rest of her texts until later. Everyone was still building their plates, walking to the dining table—including Cat, dressed in jeans and band t-shirt. Muse. “Joel, where’s the mimosa’s?” You arrived in the kitchen; Tommy hand you a ceramic plate was already plated with food.

“Sorry, kiddo.”

“Bug, the champagne in there has lost its bubbles— there’s no point.” He then grinned. “But that doesn’t mean we’re not gonna congratulate you for the chapter approval!” Your father clapped his hands, causing the others to join in—Maria, Joel, Cat, and Ellie.

You kiss his cheek. “Thanks, dad.” A blush frosts over your cheeks—face heating up like a furnace. “I hope we can get some by tomorrow. Thanksgiving is in two days.”

“I’m actually running downtown for a work thing…” Cat began, setting her plate at the dining table, preparing to sit. “I could grab some on the way back.”

“That’ll be perfect, Cat!” Maria exclaimed, smiling, brightly.

Why the fuck was she so nice? You almost wanted to mock your mother—even though they all just celebrated you a moment ago. Of course she’d offer to get the champagne. “Thanks, Cat.” You gave a toothless smile. A smile that plastered and could easily be noticed as fake by those around you. When you heard a snicker come from Ellie’s mouth, you knew that she noticed.

You shot her a glare, but that only made her lips spread into a wider smile. Toothy. Trying. As she settled into her chair, fork in hand.

Conversation over breakfast was light, and lovely. Slight jokes were made about Ellie’s farming skills, but nothing too much. You interacted with each other by mainly through looks and offhanded comments—enough for your mom to take notice. Nudging you under the table with her leg, but you gave her no mind.

After breakfast, you offered to clean up. And, of course, so did Ellie. You argued for a bit on who was going to wash the dishes, and who was going to dry them—settling on you washing and her drying. Cat took a taxi to wherever she needed to go, kissing the auburn-haired woman on the way out. Maria, Tommy and Joel settling in the living room, which was separated from the kitchen by a wall, catching up on sports. Your mother was oddly into that kind of stuff. Leaving you and Ellie all to yourselves, once more.

“Thanks, Cat. You’re so full of it.”

You handed her a wet, clean dish, rolling your eyes. “You have no idea what I’m full of.” A scoff falls from your lips, slightly curling at the ends. It’s not like you were upset, you were amused—you found her amusing. There was time between the scuffle from earlier and now; plus, you had a bit of a distraction for later.

You lathered the plate, running it under the hot water to rinse it off. “Your poker face is the absolute worst. Some things just never change— be okay with that.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Some things never change. You’re still so fucking annoying.”

“And, I remember you also saying… Corny?”

You drop your hands in the sink, running your tongue over your bottom lip. Frankly, you missed this so bad. Meeting her eyes was like the tide rising on a beach—it always happened in way that was intertwining and overcoming. This was how Ellie Williams flirted; she was incredibly insufferable! Her voice dropped an octave, becoming a bit raspier than it already was. You were familiar because, well, she used to be yours. And, like she said, some things never change.

The only way you could respond was by peering at her. Inspecting her. Handing over the wet dish without sparing a glance at the ceramic plate. You watched as she primed her lips to speak. “All jokes aside…” She began, wiping down the plate with a turquoise towel. “I wanna apologize for the pressure earlier— coming out with me.” Finishing up, she set the dishes on the rack, leaning her lower back against the counter. Her arms crossed over her chest, the tattoo on her forearm coming into view—something you didn’t fully notice before. “I totally get the hesitation. Dina can be a… Handful at times.”

“About that…” You dried your hands, wiping the water off the counter. “I’ve actually decided to go. I could use some hometown socializing— and Jesse’s still pretty sweet.”

Her earthy eyes sized you up, squinting her eyes. “Oh, is that who you want me to set you up with?”

“Seriously, Ellie, keep your day job.” You rolled your eyes, fixing everything around the kitchen so it could look clean. “We kind of keep in touch on MySpace.”

She gasped, deepening her eyebrows. “MySpace! I don’t even have you on MySpace—! I’m friends with Jesse, I would’ve seen this.”

“Well, my username isn’t quite my name… It’s BugsWritersRoom, and my icon is a picture of a latte— I can understand the confusion.” You shrug, nonchalantly.

Ellie subtly clenched her jaw at the idea of Jesse keeping something like this from her. It was fucked up to keep her from BugsWritersRoom—Ellie needed to be in on that. Whether she was going to friend you or not. “I’m about to start writing a bit… What’s you username, so I can stalk ‘ya?” The tone of your voice insinuated that it was a joke, but you weren’t joking at all. However, it wasn’t that you couldn’t find her before; you just didn’t want to. Twenty-four hours ago you were keen on keeping your distance—that also meant watching her online.

But, since the rekindling of this stomped out fire, you might as well catch up. And she was planning to do the same.

“StarlighterWilliams…” She muttered, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. You couldn’t help but wonder how she could shape shift from a semi-confident joker, to a bashful blusher within a few minutes—Ellie was one of a kind, certainly.

You hummed, lips curling at the sides. “Still a Savage Starlight fan, huh?”

“Yup.”

“At least all those comics and merch I bought for you didn’t go to waste.” You glance at the tall grandfather clock against the wall, huffing. Before you went out tonight, you wanted to get some words out of your head—there was plenty of time, as it was only nearing one in the afternoon. But you wanted some alone time, too.

She wanted to respond with how she’d never toss the items you bought for her—something cheesy like that—but, you spoke before her. “I guess the next time I’ll see you, I won’t be in old-as-shit pajamas. What are you thinkin’—? 9:30?”

“Yeah, 9:30s fine…” Her eyes ran over your frame. The tight strappy top that clung to your adult figure, and the loose satin shorts that hung low on your hips. A water stain had grown on the middle of your stomach from washing the dishes, and because the shirt was white your skin peeked through. If only it was a little higher—

“Cool. See you later.” You walked around the island, toward your parents and Joel. “If you guys need anything, I’ll be upstairs working. Just call me.” Ellie watched as you bent down to kiss their temples, including Joel from an old habit. She watched you laugh if off, but your pace quickened toward the stairs. Your eyes flickered to hers, a causal finger pointing in her direction. “That goes for you, too.” You winked.

It was like everything was in slow motion as she watched you. Especially, that fucking wink! Yeah, Ellie understood that wink was probably for weed—it couldn’t have been anything else. “I’m getting myself into some deep trouble.” She spoke under her breath, hanging her head low.

“Hey, guys!” She spoke to the three Miller’s on the couch, stalking toward the front. “I’ll be at the guesthouse.” She waved a few fingers, with her mind occupied completely elsewhere. In the gutter, as many called it.

Joel turned around, leaning his arm against the back of the couch. “You don’t wanna see the bets for the thanksgiving game?”

Ellie didn’t even pause at the door, she responded while walking through. “Absolutely the fuck not. You kids have fun, though!”

She basically ran to the guesthouse, leaning her back against the door once she was inside. In short, she was horny. Oh, so horny—Ellie was without a muse in many different parts of her life currently. And, don’t get her wrong; her girlfriend was smoking hot, but she wasn’t you! She couldn’t be happier that Cat was out of the house. So, she could lay her back against the bed they shared, with her pants off and her hand between her legs. Mind trailing with images of you.

Meanwhile, you sat crisscrossed on your made-up bed, searching for Ellie. StarlightWilliams, she said. You clicked and scrolled until you saw her user icon. It was a picture of her playing guitar. Her short side-bangs covered her face, arms draped over the guitar she’s had for years. At least, it looked like that one that you were familiar with. The one you carved your initials into the back when you were sixteen. Somebody had taken the picture, and you hoped to God it wasn’t Cat. That was your first thought.

You were beginning to make peace with the fact that you were an asshole. Your parents raised an asshole who’s jealousy raged in a passive manner.

With hesitation, you clicked the her name. Her account popped up and was coded to absolute hell. Did she do all of this herself? The side panels had a bunch of Savage Starlight png’s floating around. And, there was a silly picture in her bio of Kenny from South Park—of course, she liked South Park.

Her mood was recently updated: Conflicted.

Her bio was very concise: i’m ellie :3. Which is then preceded by a couple music videos: Hella Good by No Doubt and Somewhere Only We Know by Keane.

You found yourself smiling as you scrolled down her profile, causing you to click the friend button without a second thought. Skipping over the photos of her and Cat, which wasn’t that hard to do—considering there wasn’t many. There were photos of Ellie cuddled between Jesse and Dina, looking happier than ever. Some mirror photos taken with a camera in her bathroom. Her hair mussed and choppily cut, but nonetheless, she looked good. Small nerdy shirts and low-hanging jeans, accessorized with studded belts and carabiners.

Hot.

Breaking you from what felt like a spell, your roommate began ringing your cell. She caused you to shut your laptop, and roll all over your bed talking to her. You paced around your room, playing with little knickknacks, glancing out your window to see the view of the guesthouse.

Sierra demanded to know the details about being around your teenagehood ex-girlfriend, and you told her enough. Not the intrusive thoughts about being a homewrecker, but how easily they got along. How the past had only come up once, but not in the way you thought it would. You bickered and joked and teased like nothing happened.

Now, your roommate back in Manhattan, laughed at that. She claimed that she had psychic tendencies, saying: you guys are gonna fuck nasty! You refused, feigning sounds of disgust. That wasn’t the case—that could never be the case. To change the subject, you mentioned Abby being in town, and she grimaced on the other line.

It was girl talk like no other.

After the call, you decided to quit daydreaming over Ellie’s MySpace account and actually start writing.

The next chapter you were working on was following moments after the breakup—the sorry attempts at moving on, college, moving from home.

You spent hours outlining and rough drafting, cursing at yourself because nothing was coming out right. Sooner or later, eight o’clock came around—meaning it was time for you to get ready.

Sifting through your luggage, you threw clothes over your shoulder trying to piece together an outfit. You wanted to look good, but you didn’t want to appear like you were trying too hard. Abby was gonna be there, so you couldn’t slack. And, Ellie hasn’t seen you in anything other than comfortable clothes since you reconnected.

Jeans were your safety, and a black jean vest you were going to put over a white v-neck—not forgetting the leather jacket to cover your arms and a pair of boot heels to give you some height.

You were ready by 9:15, adding perfume to the pressure points on your body. Dressing your lips in a sparkling lipgloss that complimented your skin. With a baggy purse on your shoulder, you clicked your finger on the buttons in your phone, descending the staircase.

Abs: Always so feisty, babe. See you later.

Seeing her message from earlier, you puff a frustrated breath from your lips. Babe. God, that woman needed to pipe it down—it’s like she knew you were gonna give it up, or something. That was actually something you were still unsure about.

When you appeared in the living room, your heels alerted your family to your presence. Ellie leaned against the couch, coolly, swinging her keys around her finger. She wore low-hanging jeans, a plain top with a striped long-sleeve under it with a thick jacket layered on top—probably Joel’s. “You ready to go?” You raised your eyebrows, chewing on your bottom lip—nerves wracking through you.

Either because of Ellie’s soft eyes on you, or the anticipation of seeing Abby. It was hard to tell.

“Uh, y-yeah… Yeah, let’s go.” She stammered, standing to her feet.

Maria sipped on a glass of wine, eyeing your clothes. “You look cute, Bug— for any reason in particular?” She raised a blonde eyebrow.

“Mom, I’m going to a bar… Why wouldn’t I look cute?”

“She’s a single woman in her twenties, Maria—“

“Let’s not.” You wave your hand, cutting Tommy off. “Ellie,” You spoke, subtly pleading.

She nodded, catching the keys in her hand. “All right, we’re going.” Ellie opened the door for you, allowing you to push toward the screen door—the one you held for her.

“Be safe!”

“Of course!” The both of you responded, glancing at each other with semi-stern eyes.

Heels clicking on the porch, you walk down the steps into the gravel. “Where’s Cat? Is she not going out with us?”

Ellie unlocked her truck, clicking the button on the remote in her hand. “Wouldn’t you like to know…”She snickered, peering at you, unable to hide the glimmer in eyes from taking in your appearance. “Her work thing took longer than she thought. She didn’t feel like comin’ out.”

Yes!

“Ah,” You responded instead of jumping up and down, cheering. Getting into the car was a lift, hopping into the passenger seat.

Her copper truck had aged, but had that same old feel to it. Feeling the stitched seats, shamelessly, brought you back to when you were younger—sitting in her truck those first few times. It was kind of claustrophobic and intimidating being this tightly bound to Ellie.

She was less tense, shutting the door behind her. Ellie put the keys in the ignition, starting the car and turning on the radio. Blink-182, I Miss You, played low—the silence between the two of you speaking up. She scoffed under her breath, switching the radio to another station. “Too slow,” The auburn-haired woman muttered.

“I liked that song, though…” You look at her from the corner of your eye.

Hesitantly, she glanced at you, reached her hand back to the number to switch the station back to the alternative one playing Blink-182. Ellie pressed her lips into a line, putting the truck into drive.

The trip was no longer than ten minutes to the Tipsy Bison. A trip filled with radio music and glances back and forth. To occupy yourself, you played Tetris on your cell until you felt the truck slowing down in the parking lot. When she shut the car off, that’s when your nerves really picked up.

“They should already be inside.” Ellie pointed out. She inspected you the passenger seat, rigid shoulders and a clenching jaw. “You look good— great, even. It might be a little awkward, but—“

“How about this…” You run your tongue over your bottom lip, tasting the strawberry flavored gloss on your lips. “You go on ahead inside— I’ll meet you.” Pulling the handle, you hop out the truck. Your fingers rustle through your purse for the yellow pack of American Spirits and your lighter.

Ellie bunched her thick eyebrows, following you out the car. Locking the doors behind her. “What?”

“I can’t smoke inside… So, go ahead.” You popped out a cigarette, placing it between your lips.

“You sure? I feel like it’ll be easier if we walk in together.” She furrowed her eyebrows, seeing the uncomfortableness written all over your face.

“I’m sure, Ellie. Just go.” You avert your eyes, lighting the tip of the nicotine stick. Waiting for that first inhale to calm your nerves.

She stuffed her hand into her pockets, nodding her head. “I will see you inside, right?” Ellie questioned, fearing that you’d run off. Your only response was a released of smoke from your lips, and a pair of narrowed eyes. “Fuck,” She cursed. “Fine. See you inside.”

Ellie disappeared into the bar. You kicked a leg up against the wall, tapping the ash from your cigarette. Who knew what the feelings of one person could do. In your head, you played through every possible outcome of the situation—seeing Dina again. She could either be really sweet, like she used to be, or still be that grudging person that you familiarized yourself after that day.

The high beams of a shiny, black Jaguar came into your sights—blinding you. You hold up your hand, covering your eyes with arched lips. They were so bright, you didn’t realize who they belonged to until she got out. The blonde wore all black in the sleekest way possible—letting everyone know in this town that she was better than them. That was just the aura she had.

Her long blonde hair was pushed behind her ears and shifted against her black leather jacket. The high beams blinked off, as she approached you, pushing up a a pair of black sunglasses over her head.

“It’s dark out. How do you even drive with those things on?” You raise a skeptical eye, taking a drag from the cigarette between your index and middle finger.

“A hi or hello would be a preferred greeting.” Abby teased, lips spreading into a movie-star smile.

Pressing your lips into a line, ashing the rest of the cigarette out on the wall. “Hi, Abby.” You couldn’t have rolled your eyes harder, really. Her strong arms wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you into her chest. It was firm, but most importantly, warm and comforting. Your arms stretched around her back, nuzzling more into her embrace.

“I hope the cigarette’s the only reason why you’re standing out in the cold.” She pulled back just enough, to keep your bodies pressed together and to meet your eyes.

“Yeah, pretty much.” You purse your lips.

Abby’s hand massaged your tensed shoulders. “Then, let’s get inside. Let me get you a drink to warm you up.”

Ellie already had a drink in hand, and a water for you, unsure of what you wanted. Jesse and Dina had visited her many times in New York—this wasn’t a rekindling. It was just a couple of friends meeting for some beers and a few laughs. Her olive eyes kept glancing at the door waiting for you to come through in all of your glory. And, you were being timed. If you didn’t push through those doors within the next ten minutes, she was going to come out and drag you inside.

As she were about to tell them that she was going to get you, threatening Dina to be nice, you walked in. But you weren’t alone. A tall, muscular blonde had her arm around your shoulders, pulling your tight to her side. And, fucking hell, she looked so much cooler than Ellie did.

She watched as her blue eyes danced around the bar, looking for someone. They widened, and a smile spread on her lips. Hand raising to the ceiling to wave at her friends occupying a booth behind Ellie, Jessie, Dina. “Who the fuck is that?” She spoke, arching her lip in disgust—which wasn’t entirely purposely.

You noticed Ellie, standing from the table she sat at. Waving your fingers, you gave a small smile. Until your eyes landed on an obsidian-haired young woman, with a resting bitch face worse than your own. Dina was leaned back in her chair with her arms crossed. You allowed Abby to guide you to the bar, ordering your usual—a double vodka cranberry.

Something about this night was going to be very, very long. Good thing Cat didn’t come out.

taglist: @autisticintr0vert , @liasxeatt

[heartsbyani]

₊˚｡ ❆ ⌇ 용복 : HERE'S YOUR MOCHA LATTE, WITH A SIDE OF ME ? ── the usual cafe, the usual order. a simple, mocha latte. maybe there's more to your frequent visits, aside the comforting drink. perhaps, a certain blonde behind the counter, who makes your usual with the brightest smile on his face, has something to do with it?

𓍯 barista!felix ʚଓ customerfem!reader ：（ 𝒾 ） 3k ── ༯ ONESHOT, uni au, strangers to friends to lovers, lots of fluff, petnames, comfort, slow paced, idiots in love, corny flirting. ⸝⸝𓂃 LiBRARY . /ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\ྀིྀི

yani's note ˖˙ ᰋ very late lixie day post. so occupied with assigments and life.. ㅠㅠ.. gonna cry, he's so sunshine :(( comments, likes and reblogs are always appreciated ! happy late lixie day and happy reading <3

the café had always been a hidden gem—tucked between two towering bookshops and half-covered in ivy that gave it a quiet magic.

and it was here, in this little coffee haven, that two lives started to intertwine in unexpected ways.

y/n had been coming here regularly for weeks now, sliding in most mornings with a soft 'hi' and a slight smile. it was warm but polite, like she didn’t want to disrupt the calm that filled the place.

she’d always order the same thing—a mocha latte with extra foam—and settle into her favorite spot by the window. her table was something of a fortress, surrounded by stacks of books and scattered papers.

she spent hours there, immersed in her work, her gaze often drifting out the window to the trees swaying lazily in the breeze.

but lately, her eyes had been wandering elsewhere.

to the counter, to be exact. or, rather, to someone behind the counter.

felix.

the name tag on his forest green apron spelled it out clearly, though it wasn’t hard to remember. he was the type of person you didn’t easily forget.

with sandy blonde hair spilling out from beneath a slightly-too-big beige beanie and eyes that sparkled with some endless, secretive mischief, he looked like he belonged here—like he was part of the café’s unique charm. his presence was as warm as the lights strung along the walls, like a permanent fixture of the place.

felix had noticed her right away.

to be fair, he noticed everyone, quick with a smile, always ready with a friendly quip, a social butterfly in every sense. but there was something different about this regular—this girl who ordered her mocha latte each morning and tucked herself away by the window.

she seemed like one of those people you saw every day but somehow never really knew. the kind of person you wanted to ask about the story they carried, about what hid behind the small, quiet smile she kept just for herself.

it started out simple enough—a quick glance here, a little smile there, a few “good morning” greetings exchanged over the counter.

the blonde's friends and coworkers had noticed too, occasionally catching him gazing just a beat too long in her direction. they’d nudge him, teasing, and he’d brush it off with a shrug and a grin.

he’d tell himself it was nothing, just a curiosity. but each time she walked in, he found himself a little more drawn in, the pull stronger than he’d ever expected.

~

the first time they really spoke beyond a “hi” and “thank you” was an accident.

one gray afternoon, as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, y/n realized she’d forgotten her prized notebook at home.

she frowned, mildly irritated; she’d planned to spend a few hours working.

felix, who was wiping down tables near her spot, couldn’t help but notice her furrowed brows, cute, he thought.

“you okay there?” he asked, his voice low but friendly, like he was speaking in the library.

she glanced up, surprised.

“oh—uh, yeah. i just… forgot my notebook,” she admitted with a sheepish smile.

he grinned, tucking the cloth he was holding into his apron pocket. “a writer, hm? or a student?”

“both,” she laughed shyly, her cheeks warming as he leaned in just a bit, his eyes meeting hers. “i’m working on a research paper. and i think i left half my sanity in that notebook.”

felix laughed, the sound warm and easy, and it made her smile widen a bit. “research paper? let me guess. something thrilling, like organic chemistry or macroeconomics?”

“close,” she teased. “it’s actually an analysis of cultural symbolism in modern art. you know… riveting stuff.”

“oh, sounds very serious,” he replied, leaning on the back of the chair across from her. “but i think it’d be more riveting if you had some caffeine to go with it. on the house, maybe?”

“oh no, i couldn’t—”

“hey,” he raised a hand, “i insist. for the arts.” his eyes held hers, exaggerating his words with hand actions, a spark of playful sincerity in the gaze.

and so, for the first time, she watched felix bring her a mocha latte from across the counter, carefully placing it in front of her with a grin that seemed almost too charming for a place as quiet as this café.

after that day, things shifted—just slightly, but noticeably.

there were more smiles, more exchanges. she would glance up from her work sometimes, finding the blonde already looking her way, and he’d offer her a quick wink before going back to wiping down tables or taking someone else’s order.

she found herself smiling more than usual, her gaze following him whenever he moved around the café.

one chilly morning, she came in a little later than usual, wrapped up in a thick scarf and shivering slightly from the cool snowy weather outside. her brown hair, partially were sprinkled with sugar-like snowflakes, as she quickly closed the wooden-glass door behind her.

the guy, who’d been leaning against the counter waiting for her, broke into a grin as soon as he saw her.

“oh, a little cold, are we?”

she laughed, cheeks heating as soon as she heard his deep voice. “well, hello to you too, felix.”

he chuckled, unbothered. “sooo, should i take a wild guess at what you’re ordering today?”

“oh, you’re psychic now, too?” she shot back, feigning surprise, raising an eyebrow.

he gasped in mock shock. “you got me. how’d you know?” he tapped his forehead, giving her a mock-serious look. “it’s all in here.”

she laughed, like she always would, watching as he went to make her drink, still playfully speaking as he worked. and as he slid the mocha across the counter toward her, he gave her a look so warm, so familiar, that for a moment, she forgot they were strangers at all.

“you know,” he began, leaning against the counter with a thoughtful expression, “i think i should get to know the mysterious mocha drinker a little better. how else am i supposed to keep nailing your exact order?”

“oh, is that why?” she replied, biting back a smile. “for the sake of the perfect mocha?”

“exactly,” he nodded, eyes twinkling. “only for quality control, of course.”

the two fell into a soft rhythm, like an unspoken dance, each of them taking turns to ask and answer questions, uncovering little pieces of each other’s lives with every passing moment. felix learned she was studying anthropology, that she had a younger brother who’d recently started university, that her favorite book was norwegian wood by haruki murakami.

she learned he was majoring in design, that he loved baking as much as he loved making coffee, and that he could spend hours watching old animated films without getting bored.

just the perfect match, as someone would say.

eventually, the café became more than just a place for her to work; it became a place for her to find something that felt strangely like home.

and felix, the friendly barista with the smile that lit up the whole town, was slowly becoming a part of her morning ritual, someone who made her look forward to the quiet hours by the window just a little bit more.

the next morning, she noticed a little sketch on her coffee cup, a tiny doodle of a smiling sun with the words, 'good luck today!' written underneath.

she looked up, catching felix’s eye, and he smiled, giving her a casual little shrug.

“thought you could use a little good luck,” he explained, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. "you know, for the research presentation today."

"you remembered?" she felt her heart skip, surprised by the unexpected sweetness of the gesture. “thank you… really.”

felix gave her a soft smile, one that lingered with unspoken words. “anytime.”

and she left the café soon, after the moment had made her smile a little wider, a warmth blooming in her chest that she couldn’t quite put into words.

and felix, well… watched her, like he always did.

he had never felt so drawn to someone he barely knew. it was strange, exciting, and a little scary, but he couldn’t help the feeling that he wanted to know her more. a lot more.

the same day, the slightly-warmer noon, was where he found the same girl sitting in her usual spot by the window, deeply engrossed in the notes spread across her table, as he entered the café for his shift.

the soft clinking of mugs and murmuring of the café filled the air, a familiar comfort. seemed like a co-worker of his had served her today, or did he?

her eyes shot up to him entering, seeing the bell ring slightly as he closed the door behind him. he was wearing a puffy black jacket, which was now being discarded and hung onto the stand beside the door, while she stared at his figure.

as he turned around, their gazes met. he smiled, as bright as ever, sending her heart straight to a marathon.

"well, hello again," he greeted, walking towards the counter. "how did your presentation go?"

she smiled, "it actually.. went better than i thought it would. thanks to the latte earlier,"

he nodded, "that's good to hear.. seems like my wishes worked, huh?" a chuckle escaped his lips.

"it sure did," she replied with a smile, interrupted a bit as more customers started to enter the café.

felix had already returned behind the counter, called by his co-worker, seungmin.

"you're finally here, oh god," the brunet nudged felix, handing him the tray of the specific order, freshly brewed.

"i thought i would have to end up serving your little love interest her usual, thanks for being late, yeah?" he shot a glare his way, quickly pushing the dumbfounded guy, slightly to leave the kitchen.

"wait up, how long did you keep her waiti-" the elder opened his mouth to protest, only to be greeted by the soft push.

"just go serve her already, will you!"

meanwhile, today, y/n wasn’t as absorbed in her work as she seemed. she’d lift her gaze, watching felix out of the corner of her eye as he moved towards the counter, hoping he’d glance her way.

and soon enough, he did.

felix caught her looking, his lips curling into a little smirk as he walked over. “what, am i that distracting?” he teased, setting her mocha latte down with a flourish. he seemed unusually fidgety, fingers tapping against the cup as if he were holding something back.

y/n laughed, feigning a deep, thoughtful expression. “maybe. you do have a way of stealing the spotlight.”

he snorted, folding his arms and leaning against the counter. “or maybe you’re just looking for excuses to stare at me.”

“bold assumption, felix,” she replied, grinning as she took a sip. her heart did a tiny flip when he didn’t deny it, his gaze soft as he watched her with that lingering smile.

"sorry to keep you waiting with the.. latte. my fellow barista," he glanced back towards the kitchen, eyes meeting the said guy who seemed to enjoy the other two's moment through the small window. "..ran into some inconveniences."

the blonde only communicated with seungmin with his eyes, probably motioning his friend to quit being a stalker to the moment.

soon, the two fell into easy conversation, after serving other customers, his fingers still idly tapping on the counter.

finally, after a moment’s hesitation, he looked down, scratching the back of his neck.

“uh, you know,” he began, his voice suddenly quieter. “i was actually wondering if—well, if you’d maybe like to hang out outside this café sometime. like, more than just a customer and a barista thing?”

y/n blinked, caught off guard by the unexpected question. but her heart picked up speed, warmth spreading across her cheeks as she smiled up at him. “like friends?”

“or like..” he shifted his weight, glancing away for a split second before meeting her eyes with a sheepish grin. “friends.. who, you know, maybe like each other a little?”

her heart was practically racing now. she tried to keep her cool, playfully raising an eyebrow at him. “are you asking me out, lee felix?”

he laughed, raising his hands in surrender. “only if you say yes. i mean, i’m not going to force you or anything. but, i think, it’d be nice to hang out. just us. away from coffee orders and doodles on cups.”

for a moment, she said nothing, just looked at him with a growing smile that seemed to say more than words could. “okay,” she said, her voice soft but clear. “i’d love that.”

the grin that spread across his face was instant, lighting up his eyes with a joy that made her heart do yet another little flip.

later that evening, around six, the blonde took her to a cozy, lesser-known part of town where string lights draped over cobblestone pathways, casting a soft, golden glow across small street stalls.

they wandered through rows of trinkets and vintage books, the air filled with a slight chill and the smell of freshly made pastries.

“this place is like a dream,” y/n murmured, taking it all in as they strolled side by side. “how did you even find it?”

he chuckled, hands tucked into his jacket pockets. “i have my ways. plus, i figured it’d suit you. quiet, a little hidden, full of character, kind of like our café.”

she nudged him with her shoulder, laughing. “are you implying i’m quiet and hidden?”

he feigned innocence. “hey, you’re the one who sneaks into the café all quiet every morning. and as for hidden…” he paused, looking at her with a slight tilt to his head. “i don’t know. sometimes you just look like you’re lost in your own world. it’s kinda cute, really.”

she felt warmth blossom in her chest, her cheeks flushing as she looked down, smiling to herself. “well, maybe i was just looking for a place to escape,” she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

he nodded, his tone playful yet warm. “lucky for you, i’m an expert at escaping the ordinary. follow me.”

they drifted from the stalls and found themselves near a small fountain tucked away from the main bustle of the market, framed by ivy and stone benches.

he gestured for her to sit beside him, and as she did, she noticed him fidgeting slightly, his leg bouncing in place.

“you okay?” she asked, a hint of amusement in her voice.

“me?” he shot her a nervous grin. “yeah, totally fine. just, you know, first time actually hanging out. outside the café, without, like, a counter between us.” he laughed, glancing away.

“i don’t usually get nervous around people, but you’re.. different.”

she bit her lip, trying to suppress the smile threatening to break free. “good different?”

“the best kind of different,” he murmured, his voice suddenly quiet and sincere.

for a moment, they just looked at each other, the air between them charged with a soft intimacy that felt new yet somehow familiar.

he hesitantly reached for her hand, his fingers grazing hers in a touch that felt electric, as if every nerve in her body woke up at the contact. as if he was trying to see if it was okay, and did he even know, it was so much more than okay.

they sat there, their fingers intertwined, warmth blooming from their hands into their chests. he was the first to speak, his voice soft but laced with a smile.

“you know, i always thought you were one of those people who seemed like they’d have their whole life figured out. but then, i got to know you a little, and i realized maybe…you’re just like the rest of us. trying to figure things out, one mocha latte at a time.”

she chuckled, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “guess you’re not as psychic as you thought. i’m far from having it all figured out.”

“well,” he replied, voice barely above a whisper, “maybe we can figure it out together.”

y/n felt her heart swell, warmth spreading from her chest to her cheeks, as she looked down at their joined hands, smiling softly. “i’d like that.”

they spent the rest of the night walking through the quiet streets, talking about everything and nothing—sharing stories, dreams, memories, and hopes they hadn’t even told their closest friends.

he would lean closer each time she laughed, the sound sending a thrill down his spine that he was sure she could feel.

as they reached the end of the evening, he walked her back to her apartment, the silence between them comfortable yet buzzing with something neither of them could name.

they stopped just outside her building, and he turned to face her, a hesitant smile tugging at his lips. “so.. i had a really nice time tonight.”

“me too,” she whispered, almost breathless, looking up at him as if seeing him in a new light.

they lingered in that moment, their faces close, eyes meeting in a quiet understanding that words couldn’t capture. felix lifted a hand to brush a stray strand of hair from her face, his fingers lingering just a second longer than necessary.

his voice softened, almost a whisper. “i don’t think i’ll ever look at mocha lattes the same way.”

she laughed, biting her lip as she felt her cheeks warm. “guess that makes two of us, cute, blonde, barista guy.”

he chuckled, his gaze softening as he looked at her. “maybe we should try something different next time. something a little stronger.”

she raised an eyebrow. “stronger? like, coffee?”

“yeah, or…” he hesitated, a teasing smile tugging at his lips, “like feelings?”

she blushed, feeling warmth spread through her chest as she held his gaze. “guess i’ll have to try that sometime.”

with a gentle, lingering smile, he gave her hand one last squeeze. “good night, y/n.”

“good night, lix.”

as he walked away, she stood there, watching him disappear into the street, her heart feeling fuller than it had in a long time.

and for once, she couldn’t wait for the next morning.

[pyramid-of-starrs]

Very Demure

Jongho x Fem reader

Genre: Fluff, optional smut

Summary: TikTok trends are so corny sometimes, still fun to fuck with your boyfriend with though

A/N: have 2 more stories I’m hopefully posting this week 🙂‍↕️ enjoy this cute little story with a bonus spicy scene

“Notice how my boyfriend wears brown because he’s a bear. Very cutesy, very mindful, very demure.”

“What…?” Jongho said as he looked at you recording him.

“Nothing.” You put your phone down and walked back to the kitchen of your apartment, leaving Jongho in the living room with a puzzled face.

A little later while you two were eating you pulled your phone out again.

“See how my boyfriend eats slowly but still enjoys every bite his hardworking girlfriend made for him? See how he gets a full plate because he works while I stay home and make TikTok’s ? He’s very mindful, very manly, very demure.”

Jongho watched you as he squinted in confusion once again, his button nose wrinkling.

“Y/N… why wouldn’t I enjoy my food- what are you doing ?” He questioned again, you quickly put your phone away again.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it. Enjoy your food baby sorry.”

Later you two were in the bathroom mirror getting ready for bed. Jongho wore a cute bear make up hair band you got him as he brushed his teeth with his face mask on and you just couldn’t resist. You pulled out your phone and propped it up, facing the camera towards both you.

“See how my boyfriend does his skin care while being cute and not gendering it? Very cutesy, very demure.” This time Jongho just slowly side eyed you. He knew questioning you would be pointless.

Finally you two were in bed, you sat with half your back against the headboard on your phone while Jongho was laying on your stomach with his strong arms wrapped around your waist. You looked down at how insanely adorable your boyfriend looked as he laid peacefully.

You tried to record slyly because you knew Jongho would not want to be recorded while he’s in his squishy teddy bear state but alas, you were determined to show your baby off on TikTok.

“See how my baby is the little spoon? Very modest, very mindful, very dem-“ before you could finish you looked into your camera to see Jongho giving you the strongest face of disapproval, you knew it was over from there.

“… put the phone down y/n…” he said in a stern voice.

“N-no I’d rather not.” You said knowing you were for sure in trouble.

“Y/n…” Jongho released your waist.

“Fine! Sorry Jjongie you’re just so cute, I have to show you off.”

“…okay but no more annoying trends… and ask before you record!” He said pinching your nose and returning to his comfortable position on you.

“Well I’m obviously not gonna do that but I’ll say okay for now!” You said going back to your phone, he sighed but didn’t even try to fight it.

“And don’t post that, you probably got all my bad angles.”

There was a moment of silence as you stopped typing then a swoosh could be heard.

“….what was that ?” He questioned.

“…nothing, sending last minute messages.” You said quickly.

About 15 minutes passes and Jongho’s phone buzzes. You, too busy on your phone to notice Jongho pick his phone up from the nightstand to check it.

ATZ GC:

Mingi: Jongho your girl has you all on tiktok looking crazy lol

San: I thought he looked very cute 🥺

Hongjoong: what the hell does demure mean????

Bonus scene:

Disclaimer:

Smut tags: unprotected sex, oral sex (f receiving), a bit of manhandling, teasing, fingering, fingers in mouth, drool, a little degrading ?? Dom Jongho, sub reader

You once again felt the cold stare of Jonghos eyes on you, you peeked over your phone to be met with his stone face.

“What?”

“You posted it.”

Your face immediately gave it away that you indeed did post that TikTok.

“Nooo…” you tried to look back at your phone to hide the guilt on your face.

“So why is my group chat telling me you did?” Jongho said.

“So you’re gonna believe them over me?” You said trying to escape this somehow.

“They sent me the link.” He pressed the hyperlink and your TikTok started to play.

“… you gonna believe your eyes over me-“

Jongho swiftly got up and off the bed. Before you could speak he was already pulling you towards him.

“Ah- wait Jongho okay I’m sorry I’ll delete it I promise.”

“Too late.” Jongho lifted your gown, revealing your bare pussy, before you could plead more he spread your legs, got on his knees and delivered a few licks to your cunt. He licked slow stripes up and down just drive you a bit crazy, he knew you would want him to go faster but you knew if you asked he would deny you. You bit down on your lip and used your hand to grab at his thick dark locks.

“Fuck- baby please, don’t tease me like this.”

Jongho began to lick slow circles around your clit. “Mmm tease you like what?” The vibration of his words shooting through your body. All you could do is try to ride his face as your hips began to move up and down while helpless moans left your lips.

He stuffed one of his thick fingers into your hole while he began to suck your clit, earning a louder whimpering moan from you. He slowly slid his finger in and out of your needy pussy, he knew you were going crazy and that one finger was never enough to make you feel full.

“Please, I want more.”

Finally Jongho released your ringing clit, keeping his finger pumping inside of you.

“More? Like what baby?”

“Your dick… please jjongie, want you to fuck me.”

“Oh my, that’s not very modest, or demure.”

Yeah, you deserved this.

“Please Jongho please.”

He finally added another finger to your neglected pussy and began working them faster inside of you, your moans getting louder.

“Begging for dick like a little slut, is that demure baby?”

He continued fucking his fingers into you, his eyes watched you as you slowly came undone on them.

“Please, please fuck me.”

“Aww you’re asking so nicely, how could I say no.” He abruptly stopped and removed his fingers. You groaned to complain but he positioned himself between your legs to replace his fingers. He pulled down his boxers, his thick, hard cock springing up. He aligned himself perfectly with your eager pussy and slid into you.

“Fuuuck Jjongie it’s so fucking thick.” You moaned out. Jongho didn’t reply, he instead began to slowly pick up speed inside of you. Your eyes rolled back as he pounded into you with no remorse. “Oh my fucking god” and other swears was all you could say.

“Such a dirty little mouth. That’s not very cutesy” you have to say the teasing made the whole experience a bit better for some reason. Your mouth hung open as Jongho effortlessly rearranged your guts. He took the opportunity to put his two wet fingers onto your tongue, your lips immediately closing around them. “Sucking your cum off my fingers like a good toy, so mindful, so demure”

Again, you deserve all of this.

“Now be a good little slut and cum on my dick for me okay?” He shoved his fingers deeper into your throat, causing saliva to fall from the sides of your mouth. He slowed his pace only a bit just so he could pound into you deeper, his heavy cock hitting you in the stomach. Your pussy began to squeeze around him as you felt him cumming deep into your cunt. His hot cum covered your walls as you followed behind him, covering his dick in your juices in return. His removed both his fingers and dick and went to the bathroom to get a towel to clean up the mess you to made.

He began cleaning you as you two enjoyed the silence in the room. The silence was short lived as you picked your phone back up and started to record.

“See how my boyfriend cleans up after himself? Very mo-“

“Y/N!”

“ don’t worry this is just for me.”

[heartsriki]

K-DRAMA CLICHES ⌇ 드라마

pairing ᝰ jake x fem!reader — featuring.. hanni | word count: 2800+

⌇ … warnings & genre ↺ college au, kissing, extremely corny, reader likes dramas, jealousy, tiny bit of angst.

synopsis — after a bet you and jake made on drama night, you come to the realization of how you truly feel about jake and how jake feels about you.

lee's ₊˚⊹ ᰔ comment ┊This is the corniest thing you'll read ever but ykw ima post it even though I hate it...

The night was cool and cozy as you snuggled under your blanket on the couch. It was Sunday, which meant only one thing—drama night. Ever since you started the tradition, Jake would come over after classes to watch K-dramas with you. He wasn’t exactly a fan of them, but he didn’t care. Seeing you happy made it all worth it for him.

“Another romance?” Jake asked, his laugh soft but teasing.

You side-eyed him, refusing to be swayed, and clicked on the show with the remote. “Everyone says this one’s good, so we’re watching it. Plus, it has my favorite actor. I can’t believe I haven’t seen it yet!” you said excitedly, grabbing your pillow and favorite snack.

Jake just shook his head, a fond smile tugging at his lips, before settling next to you on the couch with a bowl of popcorn. As the opening credits began to roll, he glanced at you. You were already so engrossed, your eyes sparkling with anticipation. Jake loved that about you—how much you immersed yourself in the things you enjoyed. Honestly, he could sit like this forever.

Honestly, Jake tried to focus on the screen, but it was almost impossible with you sitting so close to him. Every so often, you’d lean in to whisper something, your breath brushing against his ear, and he’d shiver despite himself. How were you so oblivious? You’d always been like this—teasing, leaning into his space—ever since you were kids. Back then, it didn’t bother him. But now? Now it was torture.

Jake glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. You were completely immersed in the show, not even noticing the effect you had on him. Typical. You had no idea what you were doing to him, and that was the problem. Oblivious as ever.

The room was soon filled with your laughter and Jake’s playful commentary as the two of you watched the show. That was, until that scene—a spicy kiss that made Jake freeze. His wide eyes stayed glued to the screen, while you sat completely unfazed, casually munching on your snack. He looked at your glowing eyes then back down to your lips and kept doing that on repeat till he snapped himself out of it. How could you not react to this? Did you not even think of him as a man? He gulped, the lump in his throat betraying his nerves, which caused him to cough lightly. That caught your attention.

You turned, your brow raised. “Too spicy for you, Jake Sim?”

Jake scoffed, shifting in his seat. “Yeah, right,” he said, crossing his arms defensively. “I don’t even get why you find him attractive. Anyone can do that.”

You smirked, your teasing nature in full force. “Mmm, I see. Someone’s jealous that he can pull all the ladies and you can’t.”

Jake’s jaw dropped as he grabbed the remote in mock indignation. “You think I can’t pull? Oh, I can pull. Trust.”

“Okay,” you said, tilting your head challengingly, “then do it.”

“What?”

“Pull a girl using K-drama cliches by the end of the week,” you said with a smirk, “and I’ll buy you lunch for a week, and if you lose vice versa.”

Jake narrowed his eyes but didn’t back down. “Make it a month, and you’ve got yourself a deal.”

You hesitated for a second, questioning if you might regret this, but ultimately shrugged. “Fine.”

Jake was screwed. Pull a girl? He couldn’t even manage a conversation with one without tripping over himself, let alone pulling one with K-drama-level charm. And it was already Tuesday—time was running out, and he hadn’t even chosen a target yet. He should’ve known better than to agree to this stupid bet.

He was sitting in the library, attempting to focus on his notes, when you crept up behind him and scared him. Jake yelped, earning a few annoyed glances from nearby students.

“Y/n, that isn’t funny…” he muttered, clutching his chest like you’d just shaved years off his life.

You laughed, clearly unbothered. “My bad. I didn’t know you were so sensitive,” you teased, pulling out a chair and crossing one leg over the other as you casually scanned his notes. “So… how’s it coming along?”

Jake blinked up at you. “How’s what?”

“Jake.”

He groaned, dropping his head onto the table. “Ugh, can’t we just forget about it? Seriously, this whole thing is dumb.”

“Sure,” you said nonchalantly.

He sat up straight, staring at you in disbelief. “Really?”

“Yeah,” you said, shrugging. “But man, I could really go for some ramen right now—”

“Alright, alright, stop it!” Jake groaned, dramatically wriggling in his chair like a kid throwing a tantrum.

Later that day, Jake finally spotted his target. And honestly, she was perfect. Hanni—pretty, popular, and friendly. She’d even shown interest in him before, so what could possibly go wrong?

You, of course, were never far behind. You smacked the back of his bookbag as you caught up to him, startling him yet again. “Did you find your target?” you asked casually, following his line of sight. Then you saw her. “Oh—”

Jake turned to you, narrowing his eyes. “Oh?”

“Oh, as in, ‘Oh, good luck!’ Haha,” you said, brushing it off with a weak laugh and playfully hitting his shoulder.

But in truth, you didn’t like her. And you weren’t sure why. Ever since her crush on Jake became public knowledge across campus, something about her rubbed you the wrong way. She just made you… uneasy. Whatever that meant.

Jake was nervous as he made his way toward Hanni, clutching his notebook as if it could somehow shield him from embarrassment. You watched from the same spot he left you, pretending to read but not processing any of the words. Your eyes kept drifting to Jake.

It was rare to see him this determined, and you couldn’t help but feel… weird about it. When he finally reached Hanni, she looked up from her book and smiled. You felt a pang in your chest, though you quickly pushed it down.

Jake scratched the back of his neck, his usual nervous habit. “Hey, Hanni,” he said, his voice a little softer than usual.

“Jake!” she said brightly, closing her book. “What’s up?”

You watched as he stumbled through his words, clearly flustered. He made some lame joke about their shared class, and Hanni laughed—like, really laughed. You couldn’t hear what they were saying after that, but you could see Hanni tuck her hair behind her ear, leaning in just slightly.

Your jaw tightened as you forced your eyes back to your book. Why do I care? You thought. This is literally what he’s supposed to be doing. I told him to do this. But no amount of logic could silence the strange twist in your stomach.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Jake laugh at something Hanni said, his usual goofy grin lighting up his face. She reached out and playfully hit his arm, and he didn’t pull away.

You clenched your fist against the pages of your book, trying to keep your expression neutral. It wasn’t like you had any right to feel this way. You weren’t his girlfriend, or even close to being more than just his best friend.

So you didn’t do anything. You sat there under the tree, acting like you didn’t notice the way Jake leaned a little closer to Hanni like you didn’t feel the pang in your chest every time she made him smile.

Eventually, Jake walked back to you, his face lit up with a mixture of pride and nerves. “Guess who has a study date?” he said, plopping down beside you.

You forced a smile, closing your book. “Wow, look at you, Mr. K-drama lead,” you teased, your voice light and casual despite the knot in your stomach. “Guess you’re going for that free ramen.”

“Hey, I told you I could pull,” Jake said, bumping your shoulder. He didn’t seem to notice the way your laugh didn’t quite reach your eyes.

The days leading up to Friday had been nothing short of torture. Jake was executing his part of the bet too well, and it was driving you insane. Love letters at Hanni’s dorm, her favorite snacks neatly placed on her desk, giving her his umbrella on a rainy day—he had perfected the role of the K-drama boyfriend. But why did it bother you so much? Was it the money you’d be losing in this bet… or was it something else entirely?

By the time Friday rolled around, you were desperate for some peace. Drama night with Jake was supposed to be your sanctuary, just the two of you like always. But as you anxiously watched the clock, waiting for him to show, a pit began to form in your stomach. Jake was never this late. After an hour of waiting, you finally gave up and started the show without him. He could catch up later.

The movie was almost over, and Jake still hadn’t shown up. You sighed, sinking deeper into the couch. What’s his deal? That’s when your phone pinged with a notification. Your heart sank as you saw his name. He had just posted a photo.

You opened it, and there it was—a picture of Jake and Hanni studying together, looking cozy. She was smiling brightly, and Jake looked… happy. You scoffed, tossing your phone aside. “Whatever,” you muttered under your breath, but the tightness in your chest said otherwise.

Hugging your pillow closer, you tried to focus on the show playing in front of you. But your mind kept wandering, Jake and Hanni invading your thoughts. Deep down, you weren’t stupid—you knew what this feeling was. Jake wasn’t just your friend, and maybe he never had been.

Your mind drifted back to when you and Jake were younger. Two older boys had been teasing you for watching “chick flicks,” making you cry. Jake had stepped in, rolling up his sleeves and attempting to fight them off—though he ended up dragging you away before things escalated.

“They’re such assholes,” he had grumbled, checking you over to make sure you were okay.

“Jake! Don’t say that!” you had scolded, sniffling but still appalled.

“They deserve it. If it makes you feel any better, I like those movies. I don’t think they’re weird,” he had said, his voice softening.

Your tears had dried instantly, replaced by a wide grin as you grabbed his hands. “Really?! You do?!”

A faint blush had crept onto his cheeks, and he looked away. He didn’t actually like them, but he would never tell you that.

The memory made you laugh, but it only made the present sting more. Without realizing it, tears began to spill from your eyes, and soon you were crying into your pillow, confusion and hurt swirling in your chest.

You didn’t even hear the jingle of the doorknob as Jake walked in. He paused when he saw your slouched figure, quickly setting his bag down. “Hey, Y/n, I’m so sorry. I forgot it was drama night, and I got caught up—wait. Y/n?”

His voice softened when he noticed the way your shoulders shook, your quiet sobs filling the room. He rushed to your side, kneeling in front of you. “Y/n, what’s wrong? Look at me,” he said gently, tilting your chin up. His heart clenched at the sight of your tear-streaked face, your puffy eyes filled with sadness.

You tried to pull away, wiping at your cheeks. “How’s your little girlfriend?” you mumbled bitterly.

“Girlfriend? What girlfriend?” Jake asked, confused.

“Hanni,” you snapped, your voice breaking. “The love of your life. The one you’ve been all over this week. The girl you ditched me for today.”

Jake winced, guilt flashing across his face. “Y/n, she’s not my—”

“And I just feel so stupid for feeling this way!” you interrupted, the words spilling out before you could stop them. “I’m supposed to be happy for you, but all I feel is… resentful.”

Jake stared at you, his brows furrowed. “Y/n, what are you saying?”

“I-I don’t know,” you stammered, your voice trembling. “I just wish I never made that stupid bet—”

You were cut off by the sudden press of Jake’s lips against yours. His hands cupped your face, pulling you close, and for a moment, the world around you disappeared. His lips moved against yours, soft yet urgent, as if he’d been holding back for years. You froze, but only for a second, before melting into the kiss, your hands gripping his shirt to steady yourself.

Jake pulled you even closer, his touch warm and grounding as the kiss deepened. His lips were slightly chapped, but they felt perfect against yours. The air around you buzzed with something electric and raw, a feeling neither of you could put into words.

When you finally pulled apart, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting against each other. Jake’s lips were swollen, his hair a little messy, and you were sure you looked just as wrecked.

“Well then…” you exhaled, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Yup,” Jake replied with a laugh, his eyes sparkling.

“That was—so you and Hanni aren’t a thing?” you asked, your voice laced with disbelief.

Jake chuckled, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Of course not. It was all a plan. I was just trying to make you jealous, but… I guess it backfired a little.”

Your eyes widened in shock. “You—absolute jerk!” you yelled, grabbing your pillow and smacking him with it.

“Hey! Wait! It was your idea, remember?” Jake said, holding his hands up in defense.

“What?” you demanded, pausing mid-swing.

“You told me to pull a girl using a K-drama cliché. And, well… I think I just did.”

BONUS 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

It all started on Tuesday a little bit after he asked Hanni out. Jake had been sitting in the library, staring blankly at his notebook, completely at a loss. The bet with you sounded simple enough in theory, but the thought of flirting with someone—anyone—that wasn’t you made his stomach churn. That’s when Hanni walked by, giving him a cheerful wave.

A lightbulb went off in Jake’s head. He waved her over, and she tilted her head curiously before walking over to his table.

“Hey, Jake! What’s up?” she asked, setting her books down.

“Hanni,” Jake said in a rush, his voice low, “I need your help. Like… seriously need your help.”

Hanni raised an eyebrow, leaning closer. “What kind of help? Are you in trouble or something?”

“Not exactly.” Jake ran a hand through his hair, sighing. “Okay, so… Y’Know how I kinda like asked you out and stuff… well, Y/n and I made this stupid bet that I could pull a girl using K-drama clichés, and now I’m completely screwed because…” He hesitated, looking down at the table. “Because the only person I actually care about is Y/n.”

Hanni blinked, her lips curling into a knowing smile. “Ah. I figured you didn’t actually ask me out, but I see where this is going. You want to make Y/n jealous like the dramas, don’t you?”

Jake nodded sheepishly. “Yeah. I mean, I hate playing games like this, but I don’t know how else to get her to realize that I…” He trailed off, his ears turning red.

“That you’re in love with her?” Hanni finished, crossing her arms.

“Okay, wow. No need to just throw it out there like that,” Jake mumbled, his cheeks burning.

Hanni laughed. “Relax, Jake. It’s kind of obvious. So, what’s the plan?”

Jake perked up, relief flooding him. “Wait, you’ll help me?”

“Of course! This sounds fun,” she said with a grin. “Plus, I like Y/n. She’s cool. But don’t screw this up, okay?”

“Never,” Jake said firmly. “I just… need her to see me differently, you know?”

And so by Friday, Hanni could tell Jake was growing antsy. “Relax,” she said when he brought her a coffee as thanks for her help. “I saw Y/n watching us earlier. She looked very bothered.”

“You think so?” Jake asked nervously.

Hanni smirked. “Jake, I’m a girl. Trust me. She’s jealous. Now, go make your move before she starts overthinking everything.”

Jake hesitated. “What if she doesn’t feel the same way?”

Hanni rolled her eyes and gave him a playful shove. “Jake, please. The girl practically lights up every time you walk into the room. Just be honest with her, okay?”

Jake smiled at her, gratitude evident in his expression. “Thanks, Hanni. You’re the best.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she said, waving him off.

And with that, Jake bolted out of the library, his heart pounding as he made his way to your place. It wasn’t until he saw you crying on the couch that he realized just how deeply he had gotten under your skin—and how much he needed to make things right.

In the end, Hanni was right. Honesty was all it took. And as he kissed you for the first time that night, he made a mental note to treat Hanni to a lifetime supply of snacks for helping him finally win the heart of the only girl he’d ever really wanted.

[couragemydearheart]

៚⋆˙⟡ 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬.

# 01 — nanami kento x fem! reader # 02 — cw: fluff, soft soft nanami and soft soft reader because that man deserves all the happiness he can get # 03 — wc: 0.63k # 04 — an: so jujutsu kaisen is my latest obsession because i finished watching it just recently, and i just loved nanami so much, he didn't deserve what he got (like so many other favs T-T GEGE WHEN I CATCH YOU GEGE) so i decided to shower him with some loveee

and since i obviously needed a push, i came across this post and i loved the prompts so much, so thanks to @urfriendlywriter (i was in desperate need of writing prompts and finding your post on my dashboard was a fucking blessing) this one-shot will be based off no. 7! the prompt for reference is: "that gaze— tired, soft, their thumb gently rubbing your cheek, noses touching, silently mumbling an "i love you"."

anyways, apologies for the long ass author's note, hope y'all enjoy <3

"is that your favourite bread?"

those were your first words to nanami. and you found yourself repeating them quite often as your relationship with him evolved.

starting off as co-workers when you moved into town, you and nanami hadn't spoken a word to each other, or rather had never had a need to converse with the other until then. your co-workers were all friendly enough, but nearly all of them were older and had their own lives to be busy in. so you took it upon yourself to roam the new city on your own, finding and trying out new places, cute cafes, and of course your personal favourite: bakeries. a lover of all things sweet and savoury, you were nearly sure that you would open your own bakery after college were it not for this banking job you found. it was a shame you couldn't open your own place, but your new job paid you well enough to let you try out all the bakeries you wanted in peace. that was exactly how you came across this quaint little place a bit across town selling the most delicious bread.

so after spying the similar bread wrapping by his work desk nearly every week, you just hadn't been able to stop the words from leaving your mouth, especially since it was at the sight of a mutual interest.

it was however nanami's response that wasn't the same from the first time, and you were glad for it. when you asked him the question the very first time, he was rather indifferent, a bit surprised that someone had initiated conversation with him and slightly miffed about it interrupting his work. and now, nanami smiled at you fondly from the entrance of your shared kitchen where he leaned against the doorframe, before he took the bread from its place under his arm and placed it on the counter. "and yours, my love," he hums in reply to your question.

you couldn't help the giggle that slipped your lips at his reply as you turned the stove off and moved towards him. "mhmm." standing mere inches away from him now, you placed your hands on his chest, sliding them up until your fingers deftly undid the knot of his tie as they'd done countless times before. "that it is. a favourite just as much as you are, kento."

you could have predicted his response to your corny line in your sleep, the shaking of his shoulders with his throaty chuckle paired with the slightest eye roll. your smile widened at the light in his eyes, and you gripped his now unknotted tie and pulled him closer to you until you could feel his warm breath fan across your lips as he spoke. "really? just as much as the bread, but not more?"

he was teasing you, and you clicked your tongue at him, eyes full of mirth looking up at him. "don't get ahead of yourself now darling, we may be married but that doesn't-"

your voice dissolved into shrieks and giggles as nanami's fingers tickled and teased at your sides and his teeth nipped at your neck. "okay, okay, kento!" another little bite. "ken- okay i was kidding!," you whined at your husband, making him finally relent.

"what was it you were saying just now?" he mocked. "wanna repeat it for me, darling?"

“nooo, ken you know you’re my favourite.” you smiled up at him, eyes shining with so much love for the man before you. “more than anything else.”

and that gaze— tired, soft, his thumb gently rubbing your cheek, noses touching, silently mumbling an "i love you" before he presses a slow kiss to your lips and leans his forehead against yours. then he speaks.

"you're my favourite too, over everything else."

taglist

@luvhkit (hi, you'd asked to be tagged on a reiner fic i wrote ages ago and im writing after so long so idk if you meant just aot/reiner fics, but i tagged you just in case, so i hope this is okay and feel free to let me know otherwise <3) @nerdyfuntheorist (im backkkkk)

i hope y'all enjoy reading this as much as i loved writingg! feedback is always appreciated and feel free to send in requests <3

— © property of couragemydearheart. do not copy or post on any other site without permission.

[miowritings]

Maybe a fic of pjsk boys learning English with non-Japanese reader who’s good at it? (Feel free to ignore :D) have a nice day!

I-i-i love you!♡

Tsukasa tenma, rui kamishiro, akito shinonome, toya aoyagi x gn reader

✮a/n: sorry for being offline all of the sudden, i was thinking of quitting tumblr since i dont open it much, plus busy with school, im not gonna quit<3 more like a hiatus, ik how much it hurts to see an idol quit and i dont want yall experiencing that🙏 im more online on my ig account (@/yumi.anami) so if you want to talk, im here :DD, TRANSLATED WORDS ARE DOWN THERE!!

✮sypnosis: you, teach the boys how to speak english fluently.

✮contains: corny, sappy, love🥺

✮taglists: @akitosheart @nogenderbee

Tsukasa Tenma

-tsukasa decided that today was the day he decided to start using english! He already knew your first language wasn't Japanese, so he learns english with you, even if you speak japanese fluently

-while teaching him, he would have to ask for things in english only, yes he does know a bit of english but, its hard to communicate with such little words no?

-you introduce him to japanese and english dictionaries, flash cards, anything of the sort, even going as far as to make him listen to english songs!

-when asking for something like a ketchup or remote, he would have to say it in english

"Ah, y/n, could you please.. uh.. pass the... The.." he stutters, making some sort of movement in his hands, you know damn well he wanted that ketchup, so why not tease him? "Huh? The salt?" You ask, faking your obliviousness, tsukasa shook his head in frustration, then sighed in defeat. "The.. ケチャップ!!" He exclaims, you sigh, handing him the ketchup bottle. "Its ketchup kasa, but its okay, you got half the sentence right" you giggle.

-once he learned a bit more about the english language, he was getting the hang of it, except for his pronunciation..

-"ehem!" He clears his throat, then exhaled "i, live in a... A... Ru..ruru.." he stumbled, reading a post cards intently. "Rural, back from the top!" You stated, he groans but he knows that mistakes happen at first.

-"okay! I got this..! I, live in a ru... Rur..." He quits, groaning again, "y/n!! You picked the hard one didn't you..?!" He exclaimed dramatically, hugging you by the waist, you chuckle and carefully pushed him away. "Its a simple sentence.. i live in a rural areas ruu-raall" you exclaimed, making sure to emphasize rural "Dont push yourself okay? Theres still time.." you say, turning around to sit on the chair.

-tsukasa read the post card over and over and over until he was sure he's right! She walks up to you, reading the postcard. "I live in a... Ru...rural area! I live! In rural! Areas!!" He exclaimed in a much more louder than before, you got up and started cheering him.

-"hahaha!! Told you y/n! I dont need extra days to learn yknow?! Im like a champion!" He says playfully, you chuckle at his joke "y/n.! My dear, thank you for helping me.. ehem!" He clears his throat, making you face him "y/n! You are a.. beautiful person!" He exclaimed, making you bug eyed.

-"eh?! Since when did you know how to pronounce beautiful..?" You ask, still skeptical but impressed. "I practiced some words on my free time.. my friend said beautiful was both hard and simple.. it was challenging too.." he sighs "but i did it!!" "Yea, yea.. im proud kasa..but please dont yell in my ear.." you winced "oh.. sorry.." he chuckles.

Rui kamishiro

-rui already knew english, in fact he was good at it, so there was no need for teaching.. though he is a bit teasy with his english

-when you when you talk to him in japanese, sometimes he'll randomly speak english.

-"そしてこの犬はずっとボールに向かって吠えていた！私はただボールを取って犬に渡した" you ranted, you see rui have the mischievous grin on his face. "Oh..? At a ball? Thats very silly" he responds, in english, you sigh, knowing he would do something like this.. "really? Do you want me to speak in english or what?" You ask in english "日本人お願いします。" He stated, nodding intently.

-despite being good at english, sometimes rui has a hard time saying english words, sometimes he gets the pronounciation wrong.

-when he does get it wrong, he gets all peeved.. he knows that you'll tease him about it, but if it makes you happy, he'll laugh along.

Akito shinonome

-akito isnt that good at english, nor bad at it? Hes just there.

-ofcourse, you taught him proper english, he's still kind of pissed that he needs to study..

-"ugh.. cant i just speak to you in japanese..?" He groans, looking at the paper in his hand. "Didnt you ask me to teach you english? You cant back out now.. we went this far.." you plead to him, he sighs and reluctantly nods. "Fine.."

-even though he hates studying, he's very eager to learn, he wants to communicate well and to make you proud of him!

-akito takes alot of time when studying, so learning a new language would take wayy too long, but eventually he'll get there

-"Hmm.. say this?" You hand him a flashcard, which says "今日は天気が良さそうだと思いませんか?". "Oh..! Uh.." he clears his throat, analyzing the sentence "do..dont you.. think the.. weather looks nice today..?" He mutters, sounding unsure, his head tilting, looking at you to see your approval. "Hm.. its actually "dont you think the weather is great today?" But i'll let it pass, same meaning" you sigh.

-akito was very happy to know he translated it well.. sure it was a little.. different than the one on the flash card but it still works!

-once he knows english that much, its obvious he would tell his friends first, to flex and all.

-"Thats great shinonome-kun.!" Kohane chirped in, toya smiles proud in akito for actually studying.. an chuckles while exclaiming loudly "haha! Are you gonna speak english for the rest of your life?" She teases, smirking while waiting for a response. "Hello no.!" Akito groaned.

Toya aoyagi

-toya's already good when it comes to english speaking, hes not fluent, but its understandable.

-he would sometimes mispronounce words or get the meaning of the words mixed up, so he was glad to have you by his side.

-he would sometimes ask for you to tutor him english, the complex part of english learning.. he sometimes finds himself enjoying these study sessions..

-once he was good enough at english, he wanted to thank you so he wrote you something..

-it was a love letter, all in perfect english, he knew that it wasnt that big but he wanted you to know how youre teachings are important.

-"I know it isnt much.. but i just want you to know that our study time together paid off.." he mumbled, looking down, once he looked at you, he saw how happy, shocked and gentle you looked, he smiled at you and pulled you into a tight embrace

-"small..?! This is way too big...!!" You exclaimed, pulling hum close with a sigh.

--

!!Translated words!! (Translated by deepl!!)

"そしてこの犬はずっとボールに向かって吠えていた！私はただボールを取って犬に渡した" → "and this dog kept barking at the ball, so i simply took the vall and gave it to him.."

"日本人お願いします" → "japanese please.."

"今日は天気が良さそうだと思いませんか?" → "dont you thing the weather looks great today?"

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Father figure slender to the reader???

Tyyyyy <3

I've written so many Dad Slender posts with the reader (I made a huge post of them at one point but I couldn't find it this morning >:( sorry for that) so this just random dad Slender HCs, and I hope you enjoy <3

Incredibly involved parent in your life. Slender has a shit relationship with his dad, so he wants to make sure he can be a good dad for you. He always asks about your interests and checks in on your schooling or work. I think I said in a different Dad Slender post that he likes to have a cup of tea/coffee/whatever you'd prefer with you every day so the two of you can just sit down and talk every day, about life, about stress, about anything going on that you'd like to. He can't remember the last time he had a decent conversation with his own father, so it brings him so much joy to be able to speak to you every day. He understands some days you might not be up to it, and that's okay. He just wants to be as close to you as he can as a parent to make sure you have a good relationship. Bonus days sometimes occur when his mom or one of his brothers will stop by and join in, and those are your favorite days because they always spill tea about Slender to you to try and embarrass him, and it always works. Those are always your favorite days, and much to his chagrin, Slender is very aware of that fact.

He's the type of dad to be nervous when you start dating. He's not gonna threaten your partner when you introduce them to him for the first time (everyone else in the mansion does a good enough job at that) but he does fret and worry over if they're a good person that will treat you right. He would probably have the "What are your intentions with my child" talk with them and try and feel out their personality from that, but ultimately he does trust you to make good decisions for yourself. If your partner ends up being a bad choice, he will step in if necessary and comfort and help you in any way that he can, with lots of hugs and desserts and comforting conversations. I feel like when you experience your first break up he curls up with you on the couch with big bowls of ice cream and your favorite movies just like you would with a best friend, with a box of tissues by his side and lots of love. He's really great at comforting you and helping you feel better. If you end up dating someone in the mansion, everyone else doubles up on the threats of said creep better treat you right, but Slender almost relaxes a bit more. He trusts them to know to treat you right (otherwise Slender might just have to teach them a very, very intensive lesson). He definitely has his top picks in the mansion and he'd be happy if you ended up dating them.

Loves cooking with you. He has a lot of family recipes, and it would bring him so much joy to be able to teach them to you. He's incredibly patient with you, and a wonderful teacher, so it's a very enjoyable experience for both of you. He also gets super excited if you want to try making something new and you ask him to help you with it. He'll accompany you to the store and help you pick out ingredients, teaching you the best brands for each thing, and how to pick out the best produce. This is corny, but he totally has matching aprons to wear with you whenever you're cooking anything, and if you need it he enjoys helping to tie it for you because you'll always be his little one no matter how old you get. He always offers advice for anything if you need it, and I think he likes doing things beside you so you can watch and learn at the same time. If you need a whole onion chopped, for instance, he places two cutting boards side by side and gives you half to chop while he takes the other so you can both work on it together and you can watch what he does. He's always impressed with everything you cook, and it would seriously be the most heartwarming thing in the world to see you take on his love for cooking.

[lokischocolatefountain]

An Unexpected Present

Summary: Hope and reassurance comes from an unexpected source when Joel think there might be none.

Word count: 1.7k

A/N: Merry Christmas, pedroblr (is that a thing?) This is my little Christmas present to everyone and I hope (ba dum tss) it gives a bit of hope in terrible times in a different world. This is my present specifically to @docharleythegeekqueen as part of @pedrostories's Secret Santa event. Thank you so much for organizing this and I hope I have delivered as Santa.

People never turned up at your door at the crack of dawn. Thank goodness. It was mostly because you didn’t really have a door for the past two decades for anyone to show up at. Now you had one and apparently people—no, men— took that as an invitation to show up. Okay, it was one man. That was already one too many. 

“What the fuck?” You asked, looking at the guy holding the most god awful bouquet of dried flowers you’d ever seen. Did they do Valentine’s in Jackson? And if so, did they do it in fucking December? 

“You’re the chemistry teacher?” 

Don’t fucking say some corny line about having chemistry with me, you thought, the old pick up line getting on your nerves before it could even be uttered. 

“I am. And I won’t make you meth if that’s what you’re here to ask.” 

He laughed softly, his cheeks turning pink from the winter air. “I wasn’t. But now I’m thinking about it. No, I’m uh… Ellie told me you knew how to make paint?” 

You realized then that he was your student Ellie’s dad. Maria’s brother in law who used to be a contractor in the before times. His name had come up a few times when Maria’s husband told you about how they were fixing up the old houses in the town. 

“Yeah…?” 

“I was wonderin’ if you could make some for me. We can trade for it.” 

“Oh. Uh, I’m sorry… I don’t make that kind of paint.” 

“I didn’t even tell ya what kinda paint I’m lookin’ for.” 

“For walls?” 

“Wow. Why, cause I look like this,” he said, gesturing to himself, “I can’t be looking for watercolor to paint the next Mona Lisa?” 

“The Mona Lisa was painted with oil paints.” 

“It’ll be the watercolor Mona Lisa then. These flowers good enough to make some paint?” He asked, holding out the dried flowers and leaves. 

“Depends on the colors you want for this post apocalyptic Mona Lisa.” 

“Red, green, black and white.” 

“Doesn’t sound like the Mona Lisa to me. Sounds like Christmas.” 

“They told me you were smart, but not that you were a genius,” he mocked, making you roll your eyes. You would’ve closed the door on him and avoided him forever. It was a foolish way to spend the little resources you had on something like paint for Christmas decorations. Linseed oil for protecting wooden surfaces, alum for water clarification, and washing soda for…well, washing. So you told him as much. His face fell when you explained you won’t waste necessary resources for something as superfluous as paint. But he accepted, wished you a good day and left your doorsteps with his dried flowers. 

You thought that would be the end of it. But you didn’t know a very crucial piece of information then. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked, sounding more aggressive than you’d intended to be. 

“Didn’t think it was relevant since ya said making paint is a waste of your time,” he said, sounding a little smug.

“That was before your brother said you had coffee! Why didn’t you tell me you had coffee?” 

“You didn’t say what you’d trade for.” 

“I’ll trade for coffee.” 

Coffee it was. The next morning, he showed up at your door with a thermos full of coffee. Guilty about how you’d treated him the previous day, you invited him inside. What started as politeness became a routine. 

“Had no idea it’d turn blue.” 

“It’s because red cabbages have a chemical called anthocyanin. It’s a natural ph indicator. So when you add it to a neutral substance like water, it turns blue.” 

He nodded, his annoyance at you beginning to change seeing the excitement on your face. It was easy to forget he was also resistant to normalcy when he first arrived at Jackson. Scarcity was the biggest threat to your life outside the infected and it wasn’t easy to set aside old practices you’d built to survive. But that didn’t stop him from being annoyed at you when you told him that paint for Christmas decorations was a waste of your time. 

“Did you teach before, too?” He asked. 

“No. I uh…I worked in the pharmaceutical industry. Made medicines.” 

“Damn,” he said, his mind immediately going to Ellie. If she knew what you did for a living before… There was a real risk too, with you being her teacher and all. A bigger problem was you finding out somehow about Ellie’s immunity and deciding to do something about it. He could handle you of course. He’d handled fireflies with all their weapons. But it wouldn’t be easy to get away with in Jackson. 

“Yeah. And before you ask, no I can’t find a cure.” 

“Why did you think I’d ask that?” He squinted, his worries still not resolved. 

“Everyone does.” 

“Huh.” 

The rest of the walk to the school passed in silence as he mulled over your words. You didn’t believe there was a cure so you wouldn’t look in Jackson for one. That should be enough to calm him. But you didn’t know someone in town was immune. He would have to keep an eye on you. 

____

While the mornings were spend drinking coffee with each other, the evenings were for making paint. He’d gathered everything you needed. Even sat with you and helped you grind the ingredients with a pestle and mortar. You liked to spend your time alone after hours of dealing with loud, curious children. 

You didn’t think you would be alright with Joel intruding on that. But he was good company. He stayed silent apart from asking doubts about the process. The only sound was that of the both of you grinding the pigment source into a fine power set with cyclical movements of the pestles in the mortars. 

“You’re a big fan of Christmas?” You asked one evening. 

“I wouldn’t say so, no.” 

“So, why are you parting with your beloved coffee just for red and green paints?” 

He laughed softly as he tied a filter to the top of a bottle. “It’s for Ellie,” he said, his hand rubbing the broken watch on his wrist. “She never had a normal Christmas so…since we came here to Jackson, I try to do what the town needs for a nice Christmas.” 

“That’s nice,” you said, feeling yourself warming up to him. “How many Christmases have you had here?” You asked, not feeling it appropriate to ask when they arrived. Too personal and invasive perhaps. 

“This is the second one.” 

“Mmm. She deserves it. Ellie. She’s a good kid.” 

“She is, yeah.” 

“It’s…hopeful. Being around young people again. We are all so… Well, I am so disillusioned with the world. She seems to have hope.” 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah. Asked me if I could find a cure if there was someone immune.” 

His heart almost stopped. What else did she tell you? 

“And what did you say?” 

“The truth. That it’s not possible even if we found someone with immunity.” 

“Why is that?” 

“We didn’t have the technology for this even back in the day. Not for fungi. It took years to create a cure even when we had proper labs and researchers. It’s not likely for us to even find someone who is immune. Even if I did, how would I get to the source of their immunity? We can’t do any tests. We can’t do imaging. If there was someone immune, they should just shut up about it and be alive.” 

“Isn’t that selfish? Ruining the world’s chance to… to become…become normal?” 

“It won’t. Not in our lifetimes. Say we do find a cure. How do we manufacture this drug or vaccine? How many can we make? A hundred? A thousand? And how would we even distribute it? I don’t think a few bicycles and our horses could be as effective as planes and ships to take them around the country. And these things have an expiration date, so…”

“I never thought of that.” 

“Yeah. People are so intoxicated by hope that they fail to consider the logistics. I don’t blame them, though. It’s only natural to hope. Because if there’s no hope for the future, there’s no reason to do fucking anything.” 

“Do you have hope?” 

“Of course,” you said, giving him a smile. Not a naive one free of the burden of truth but a radical one persevering despite it all. “Jackson gives me hope. I didn’t think there could be such a place… There has to be an end to the fungus’ reign at some point in the future. When it has no one to consume. There could be people who are immune and natural selection could take its course, pass the immunity on genetically. Won’t be anytime soon of course. Maybe a few thousand years.” 

“If humanity survives until then. We could all die like the dinosaurs.” 

“We could. Or we could survive. If we’re here, who’s to say there aren’t other little towns persevering? Maybe a few will evolve and survive. They may no longer be us— homosapiens. But they’ll be here. But if not, there’s still all the animals who will look up at the same stars we see every night.” 

“That’s strangely hopeful,” he said after a moment of silence. He wanted to cross the table between the two of you and give you a hug. Tell you that you were the only one who said something optimistic to him that wasn’t a load of rubbish. 

But he went instead for an ornament just for you. Carved it out of wood how he did with all the other ornaments he made for the town’s large Christmas tree. 

When you found the wooden star painted white at your door, you were surprised but had no doubt who it was from. You would never know what you’d done for him. He never doubted he made the right decision getting Ellie out of that hospital. But it helped hearing from someone who didn’t know what happened that she would’ve died for nothing had he made the wrong decision. It was an unexpected present. One you never intended. 

And the next time he was at your door with flowers, they weren’t for making paint. 

[unformula1]

So… corny (LN4 x male!reader)

lando likes you w/c: 612 a/n: happy pride month ! (masterlist)

“Happy pride month!” Lando says as you walk into the room.

You raise an eyebrow and stare at him, confused.

“Okay, rude.” He scoffs and kicks his feet up onto the table, glaring at you.

“Thank… you?” You say, still a little unsure.

“That’s more like it!” He claps and goes back to scrolling his phone.

“I’m not…” You hesitate, not sure how to phrase this, “How did you know?”

“It’s really not that hard!” Lando shrugs, “You radiate that energy.”

“How… what?” You look at Lando, confused.

“You’re clueless!” Lando sighs, exasperated, “My gaydar is never wrong.” He smirks confidently.

“Doesn’t explain much.” You shake your head.

“The accounts you follow on basically all your socials! Your posts from 2018 onward, it’s basically an open book!” Lando says.

“So you stalked me?” 

“What!? No-” Lando’s legs drop off the table, “No, wait- well when you phrase it like that.”

You nod as Lando facepalms.

“I appreciate it.” You say as you take a seat next to Lando and pat him on the shoulder.

“It’s not like it was unprompted, it’s because-” Lando trips over his own words, “Someone asked me and I thought I’d go find out!”

You nod but slightly slower, giving Lando an awkward smile.

“Yea… okay.” You pat his shoulder slightly harder.

“You’re not like… insulted… or anything, right?” Lando asks.

“No! Not at all.” You say.

“Well, I also found a couple of gems!” He says as he holds up his phone with a screenshot of your old post.

“Oh-” You gasp, “Oh hell no!”

Lando laughs at your reaction and swipes, showing you another.

A message drops from Lando’s phone. 

you should just ask him

And another.

he might say yes

You shrug them off quickly as Lando swipes again.

“How many did you take!?” 

“Like… thirty!” He smiles proudly.

“I’m gonna beat you up.” You say.

“Hey!” Lando leans back, “You aren’t flattered?”

“What?” 

“Nothing. Pretend I never said that.” He quickly stashes away his phone.

“Well, of course I’m flattered!” You chuckle, “It’s been a while since someone has given me this much attention/”

“Oh?” He says, “Really!?” He says, but more excitedly.

“Yea, I mean-” You speak with your hands a lot more, hoping to bring across a point.

“I don’t understand.”

“You don’t need to! Just know I’m flattered.” You say and Lando smiles really wide.

You sigh.

“Usually guys get to this point and say ‘just know i’m not like into you or anything’” You say, horribly mimicking a deep voice.

“Oh well I won’t say that!” Lando says.

“Because you’re into me?” You provoke.

“What- No, wait, I mean, yes?” He chokes on his words, “Probably, I don’t know- maybe? I’m confused.”

“You just said 5 different answers in 2 seconds.” You chuckle.

He buries his face.

“I don’t know.” 

You feel bad for that now. You take a deep breath.

“I didn’t know either. You’ll figure it out, eventually.” You assure him while patting his back, “Take your time.”

“You don’t…” Lando hesitates, “It’s not going to be weird right?”

“No, never.” You say, “After all, I would know all about it!”

“Right, yea.” Lando looks at you, “It’s just been a tad bit confusing lately.”

“First off, don’t say ‘tad’, it sounds silly.” You joke, “Secondly, it’s going to be confusing, just give it all a minute to make sense.”

“You’re pretty.”

“I know-” You smirk, “Thank you.”

“Is it mutual?”

“Very much.”

“Oh.”

“Cool.”

That was… a lot more casual than expected. You and Lando lock eyes for a second and you smile which fills Lando with warmth as he smiles back.

God this is absolutely corny.

[theoceansluvr]

Multi-Character x Ice Skater! Reader

warning; small injuries bc sports ! author's notes; i have a whole stockpile of fics in my drafts send help😿 also ! this is inspired by a moodboard from the lovely @/ssparksflyy bc i had to get inspo bc im uncreative at the moment😞 plus it's almost winter !

PERCY JACKSON-

despite the chronic skater boy energy he holds and his amazing coordination, he FUMBLES on ice skates.

not even in an attempt to be funny, he's just struggling to stand up.. so he grips onto the rail, your hand, or an unlucky kids assistant roller(y'all know what i mean right ??)

once he gets the hang of it he SWEARS he can out skate you

which is until you pull out a fancy trick and leave him utterly speechless for a good couple minutes !

he probably ends up taking "breaks" just to watch you all lovingly from the sides and what not

oh ! if you compete, you better believe he's showing up even though he hardly understands the scoring system !!!

all he knows is that you look graceful, pretty, and you did amazing

all in all, as long as he sees that you're having fun in your element, then he could care less about anything else

JASON GRACE-

despite his last name, i also think he'd stumble on skates for a bit before grasping it fairly quickly ! he's a fast learner afterall

definitely asks you to teach him tricks and such because he wants to get them down to impress you :(

he also considered learning to skate more often so he could be your partner in competitions !

you taught him how to do a bunny hop and he thought he was the coolest guy on EARTH for it

if you ever manage to sprain your ankle in the middle of practice or just free skating, he's on FULL panic mode

and gods forbid you get hurt during a performance.. they're dragging him off of the ice as you kinda just limp over towards the edge with a massively confused look

but ! the minute your better and able to get back on the ice, he's right there beside you till you want to take a break :3

very supportive boyfriend, but also overly concerned so try and avoid injuries when possible😓

LEO VALDEZ-

something tells me he spent a good couple hours learning how to sharpen your ice skate blades the moment he found out you skated

he also started selling a bunch of trinkets that he made to save up enough to buy you ice skates on your favorite color ! + they have both your initials embroidered onto them

doesn't even TRY to get on the ice, but he always, and i mean always, watches you practice !

he'll be tinkering with something while you do it or maybe just leaning over the rail and admiring you

likes picking out your dresses for performances even though he always picks out one with red in it so "you'll have him in mind" (he's corny.)

dare i say that he sits with you for hours while you find a song to perform to !?

like he's heard about 20+ different songs in the past 30 mins and he's bearing with it because it's you

he's more of your biggest behind the scenes supporter but STILL your #1 fan regardless !

i'm so proud to announce that i have finally posted after DECADES of swearing to myself that "okay im gonna finish this today !" and not finishing anything.. i missed my moots too so i thought id make sure they know im alive T^T

[lotusflowerbreakingthesurface]

❝Zhang Qiling's Birthday Congratulations❞

𝓗𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂 𝓫𝓲𝓻𝓽𝓱𝓭𝓪𝔂, 𝓧𝓲𝓪𝓸𝓰𝓮! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝⋆✧˚

On this special month, let's get to know 'the soul character' of Daomu Biji, the one who always gives Wu Xie a sense of security, Zhang Qiling aka Men You Ping aka Xiaoge in a deeper understanding. Who doesn't know him? He is one of the protagonists and the spiritual leader of the Iron Triangle!

©Divider by @saradika-graphics

Source: NPSS's WeChat or here

Since Daomu Biji is in Wu Xie's first person POV, it's difficult to know what Xiaoge is thinking and what kind of character Xiaoge is. Let's get to know him bit by bit through some info that I found in Chinese fandom and my meta hehe. Please note that I'm not fluent in Chinese, so this post contains a heavy amount of MTL, and people tend to have a different perception and understanding of things, so just take it easy, okay? (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

※ Contents List ※

Zhang Qiling's Appearance

Zhang Qiling's Body Type

Zhang Qiling's Personality

Zhang Qiling's Character Origin/Prototype

Zhang Qiling's Character Development (a simple meta by me)

First of all, let's take a look at the character "Zhang Qiling" according to Chinese sites and other sites as well.

Source: Baidu [I only took some parts of it, for more info about Zhang Qiling, please visit the site]

The author Nanpai Sanshu mentioned in an interview that Xiaoge is the kindest, wisest, mysterious and powerful character in the whole book. In addition, in the original text of DaoBi (Daomu Biji), Xiaoge has maintained a young appearance for decades. The author calls him "the complete body of immortality", so he will not suffer from the sequelae of immortality such as "corpse transformation", which can be said to be a perfect immortal.

❆ 𝑨𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 ❆

He has a pair of calm (indifferent) and clear eyes—Daomu Biji Vol. 2: Heavenly Palace on the Clouds (Part 1) Ch. 48 (MereBear's Translation), Wu Xie's Private Notes Ch. 9 (MereBear's Translation)

Reference: A photo of a young man appeared on the slide. He was silent, calm, and his eyes were as clear as clear water. He was carrying something on his back and walking normally. His eyes were looking in the direction of the camera. He obviously saw the person taking the photo, but he didn't care at all.—Sand Sea 3 Ch. 28 | Ch. 139 (MereBear's Translation)

Good-looking

Reference: "Why don't we just find a wife for him and marry him off to a rich woman? With his looks, I think we can make some money."—Daomu Biji Vol. 6: Ancient Building Under the Dark Mountain Ch. 1 (MereBear's Translation)

Well-proportioned, handsome, and eye-catching (wearing a suit)

Reference: Men You Ping has a well-proportioned figure and a blank expression. He looks very handsome in a suit and is extremely eye-catching."—Daomu Biji Vol. 7: Stone Shadow in Qiong Cave Ch. 5 (MereBear's Translation)

His face is quite distinctive

Reference: Xiaoge's face is actually quite distinctive. He is not someone who would be lost in the crowd.—Tibetan Sea Flower 1 Ch. 21 (MereBear's Translation)

Wu Xie is the ultimate beauty that can be seen in the world, and Zhang Qiling is invisible to the world——too corny (NPSS's interview) [I think what it means by "invisible to the world" refers to the inner beauty, his kindness perhaps? But this kind of answer should be a joke lol]

He is 180cm tall, fair-skinned, silent, with dark hair and dark pupils, his eyes half covered by his hair (NPSS's interview)

❆ 𝑩𝒐𝒅𝒚 𝑻𝒚𝒑𝒆 ❆

He has a lot of muscle mass

Reference: Xiaoge's weight is actually moderate, and he has a lot of muscle mass. So even though he looks lean and well-proportioned, his actual weight feels much heavier than the last time I helped him.—Daomu Biji Vol. 8: Finale Ch. 56 (MereBear's Translation)

He has a high muscle fiber density

Reference:

Liang Wan was able to touch patient Zhang’s arm while giving him a routine examination. Although his muscles weren’t very exaggerated, the density of the fibers was beyond comprehension.—Sand Sea 1: Introduction Part 2 (MereBear's Translation)

He [the doctor] then proceeded to squeeze Men You Ping's muscles, "Your muscle fiber density is even better than that of athletes. What kind of exercises do you do?"—Notes in Rain Village 2 Ch. 20 (MereBear's Translation)

❆ 𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 ❆

Silent, indifferent, alienated, and easily misunderstood

Reference: If you are not in the same group as Men You Ping, you will feel very uncomfortable with him, and you will feel more and more uncomfortable. People who know him know that he is just taking a nap when he leans there, but people who don't know him think that this gloomy guy is full of bad intentions and ready to torture them.—Sand Sea 4 Ch. 208 (MereBear's Translation)

Strong action, perseverance, and fearlessness

Reference: He is a man who keeps moving forward for his purpose. Even if there are countless barbs on the road he walks on, he will keep moving forward, regardless of any harm along the way, until all his flesh is scraped off by the barbs or he reaches his destination alive.—Daomu Biji Vol. 8: Finale Ch. 75 (MereBear's Translation)

Spiritual leader and give a sense of security

Reference: He often has a blank expression on his face, but once his expression changes, it usually means he is about to face a critical situation. In the ancient tomb, he acts as the spiritual leader of the team, and his companions obey his instructions, always giving those around him a sense of security.—Daomu Biji Vol. 1 (Part 2): Angry Sea, Hidden Sands

Strong heart and the king of fighting

Reference: Ma Pingchuan thought it very strange that he was having a serious conversation with a teenager, and he even felt overwhelmed by the child's aura.—Tibetan Sea Flower 1 Ch. 3 (MereBear's Translation)

Act cautiously and carefully, clear the way and lead the way

Reference: He leaped in front of the mummy without hesitation, and looked at his mouth first. Finding that there was nothing in his mouth, he put his hands under the corpse's armpits and pressed it down.—Daomu Biji 1 (Part 2): Angry Sea, Hidden Sands Ch. 62 (MereBear's Translation)

Mysterious and unique

Reference: There had to be something strange about those seven bridges-if you got on the wrong one, you'd likely encounter a disaster. In order to avoid this trouble, Poker-Face chose another way-it really was his style to never follow the path others had arranged.—Daomu Biji Vol. 8: Finale Ch. 59 (Merebear's Translation)

Calm and resilient

Reference: I remained silent. I didn't know what kind of person Menyouping was, but I could vouch for his psychological endurance. This kind of person's psychological quality has reached a certain level. It is very difficult to make him receive a great stimulus.—Daomu Biji Vol. 5: Snake Marsh Ghost City Ch. 60 (MereBear's Translation)

Selflessness, a strong sense of responsibility, saving people in distress, and silently dedicate to protect others

Reference: Men You Ping shook his head, "Your level of awareness is too low. If our theory is correct, then whatever happened is extremely dangerous. I am afraid you won’t be able to handle it. I'll keep watching all night, you should have a good rest."—Daomu Biji Vol. 5: Snake Marsh Ghost City Ch. 20 (MereBear's Translation)

Repay evil with kindness and respect life

Reference: An old man had died during our stay in the village, and Mem You Ping had also shown him a kind of attentiveness before he had died. When the old man fell asleep in the sun, Men You Ping would often stop and take a look at him.—Daomu Biji Extra: Fishing King Ch. 26 (Merebear's Translation)

[Note: I can only put one excerpt from the book as a supplement, but there are definitely many words worth your attention in the book :)]

❆ 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑶𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒊𝒏/𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒐𝒕𝒚𝒑𝒆 ❆

If we talk about Zhang Qiling's prototype, we should go back to the first draft of Daomu Biji that NPSS posted on QQ Space under the title 《阴间笔记•七星皇陵篇》 "Notes from the Underworld: The Seven-Star Imperial Tomb" and its outline setting (see here for details). Later, he posted the fanfiction of Ghost Blows Out the Light on its Post Bar under the title 《七星鲁王宫》 "Seven Stars Lu Palace" (the original post is gone now, but here is a little glimpse of it). As you may already know, Daomu Biji was started as a fanfiction of 《鬼吹灯》 "Ghost Blows Out the Light" by 天下霸唱 (Tianxia Bachang). People often regard it as the pioneer of the tomb-robbing novel due to its popularity back in its heyday and it has a huge influence on the same genre later on, Daomu Biji is no exception. In the Ghost Blows Out the Light, there are three major characters, Hu Bayi, Shirley Yang, and Wang Pangzi. Among those three characters, only Wang Pangzi shares the similarity to "Wang Pangzi" in Daomu Biji. Then, how about other characters? Is Zhang Qiling a gender-changed Shirley Yang?

According to this post by MuzzledIdealist, the answer is below:

Q: Is Zhang Qiling a gender-changed Shirley Yang?

A: I don’t know where the rumor that Zhang Qiling is a gender-changed Shirley Yang came from… His [NPSS's] first chapter was indeed a Ghost Blows Out the Light fanfiction serialized in the Ghost Blows Out the Light forum [Baidu Post Bar], but the first chapter was about the tomb-robbing in Changsha fifty years ago, and the names Zhang Qiling and Wu Xie did not appear at all. The protagonists of Xu Lei's [NPSS's] earliest writing plan were ZYN (370’s original name), "I" and "Sun Zhongwei" (see the character setting, it was later split into Pangzi, Pan Zi, and Wu Sanxing). The prototype of Zhang Qiling is 370. I never whitewash Xu Lei, although the initial story background borrowed from Ghost Blows Out the Light, Zhang Qiling and Wu Xie have always been original [characters].

In the fanfiction that was written by NPSS, there were no characters with the name "Zhang Qiling" and "Wu Xie". Zhang Qiling and Wu Xie have always been the original from DaoBi and it has nothing to do with Ghost Blows Out the Light. Even so, Zhang Qiling indeed has a real person prototype which appeared in that fanfiction, he is ZYN (I don't know if it's appropriate to put a real person's name here), he is a former classmate of NPSS.

[For more info, see 张起灵相关bot's post or here or here]

NPSS had a classmate and roommate in high school. His bed number was 370 (homonymous with Zhang Qiling), and later he was his deskmate. In [TEDxSISU Fever], Sanshu said that he was a rare person who could notice and understand him, and he was a very good friend. The author turned this "most important man" into the most important character in the novel, Zhang Qiling, and expressed his feelings for this close friend.

"Look at your current deskmate, that inconspicuous little boy back then, who has now spread the story of you and me to the whole world." ✦

ZYN who is the prototype of Zhang Qiling is a man, then how could Zhang Qiling set to be a female character? See the explanation below:

About Zhang Qiling who was supposed to be a woman disguised as a man was first mentioned in the lecture at Fudan University in 2013:

Source: 大头尸胎

However, there is a follow-up interview on March 11, 2023 which basically implied that it's actually not NPSS's idea to set him as the female lead and Zhang Qiling is a man from the beginning to the end.

Q: It has been rumored that Zhang Qiling was originally intended to be a female character? NPSS: This happened a long time ago. These were my thoughts when I was writing the first chapter, he was definitely intended to be a male character at the beginning. Many colleagues told me that he should be a female character and that I should write him as a female character. The seniors at that time were still quite traditional. The seniors in the magazines said that you need a female lead. I was wondering what to do. They said that you should just write Zhang Qiling as a female character. I hesitated at that time, but then I followed the whole process to write it. Because his prototype was my classmate, it was difficult to write him as a female character. It was hard to imagine. I also know very few female characters. In fact, I have been working hard to learn how to write a female character in recent years.

Source: Text | Video | Summary

I think NPSS has his own idea in his mind, when his senior colleague suggested adding a heroine and thought about making PingXie as an official pairing, he hesitated at first, but in the end, he did try it and even had the idea of disguising as the opposite gender (and perhaps to make it easier to write), but later he realized that Zhang Qiling can only exist as a man. He sticks to his words at this point, because I can tell that in the subsequent series, he used descriptions such as "has a lot of muscle mass", "almost inhuman speed", "incomparably strong", "weight feels much heavier", "has a high muscle fiber density", "carrying on one shoulder", "a body more perfect than an athlete", etc. Why do I feel like he works so hard to nullify the words "the body is soft as a woman's" in the earliest book? Does he feel guilty to his former classmate? ( ≖‿ ≖ )

The most interesting thing is that Zhang Qiling and his prototype share many similarities, such as being born in November, being a Scorpio, having a shoe size of 43, being 180 cm in height, and Uncle 370's (fans in Chinese fandom often called ZYN "370叔") wife's birthday is on March 5, which is also Wu Xie's birthday (˵ ¬ᴗ¬˵)

Source: MuzzledIdealist

❆ 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑫𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒑𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 ❆

This is only a simple meta of Xiaoge's character development before and after he meets Wu Xie and Pangzi, which is also purely my personal opinion and does not represent NPSS's opinion. First of all, since I think that Zhang Qiling's character development is deeply influenced and inseparable from Wu Xie's character development, I labeled this meta as a cp-oriented analysis just in case. Nevertheless, I tried my best not to see it with shipping goggles though we don't need it. It's short and may not be perfect, I only read the books from the main story to the period of Notes in Rain Village (and extra stories) once, and it was over half a year ago. If there are any mistakes, I apologize. And if it's okay with you, here you go~

⚠︎ Warning: Spoilers! Spoilers! Spoilers!

What is so unique about Zhang Qiling (and Wu Xie) is that every stage of their life shows a different temperament (though I won't talk about all of them here, it would be too long). Zhang Qiling has lived for a long time and experienced many things.

Tibetan Sea Flower Online Q&A on August 31, 2024:

Q: Universe God, I want to ask you, when Xiaoge first saw Wu Xie being so friendly and kind to him, did he find it hard to believe that there are people in the world who simply cherish and love him without any ulterior motives?

A: Zhang Qiling can see through people's hearts at a glance. It's not that he is smart, but that he has seen too much. People are very simple to Zhang Qiling.

There is a change of heart before and after Xiaoge meets Wu Xie, as well as some behavioral changes when he gets out of the Bronze Door in ten years. It's difficult to see because we rarely have a glimpse of what Xiaoge is thinking through Wu Xie's perspective. However, it's not impossible to see as long as you pay attention carefully to his various actions. In ten years, his outer appearance may not change, but the core of his personality has changed to a certain extent, and he started to put value on many aspects of his life. In other words, he is no longer indifferent to some things. His world has gained a warm color.

Let's go back to his early days. In Three Days of Silence, there are three perspectives about Xiaoge. The first one is the perspective of the little lama's senior brothers, they said that he resembles a postman without destinations. Outsiders who don't know about Xiaoge think that Xiaoge lacks human nature, so he looks out of place in the human world. However, he is not without destinations. He knows clearly what he has to do because he had those so-called missions appear in his head before he had the chance to figure out who he was. The second is the little lama's perspective, he thought that Xiaoge is like Buddha who has no desire to think about worldly affairs. And the third is how the master denied that Xiaoge is like Buddha, people who are born without desires are stones.

Since the day he was born, Xiaoge's freedom has been taken away from him. This freedom was replaced with the Zhang family missions, making his life full of purpose, and yet it was not his own purpose. No one tells him to live his own life, and he doesn't even know how to do it, because from the very beginning he has been living this way.

In the subsequent narration, the master said that Xiaoge was like a stone, but Xiaoge eventually came to meet his mother. It was proof that he was not completely a stone, it was just that his desire as a human was hidden within himself. He needs a revelation to make him realize that it exists and that it's okay to feel it.

“You have to learn to think and miss that the first and last gift your mother gives you will be your heart that was hidden by those people.”

Even so, trusting and loving someone is not an easy task. The moment he understood what the master said, he lost his mother. It was the first time he could feel his connection with the world, but also the first time he lost it. He has a strong heart and resolve, so he was searching for this "connection" again, but the only thing he could find was all about the Zhang family's missions.

He continued, "I am a person without a past and a future. All I do is to find find my connection with this world. Where did I come from and why am I here?" He looked at his hands and said calmly, "Can you imagine that if someone like me disappears from this world, no one will find out, as if I have never existed in this world, without leaving any trace? Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I often doubt whether I really exist or am just a phantom of a person."—Daomu Biji Vol. 4: Snake Marsh Ghost City (Part II) Chapter 18 | Chapter 47 (MereBear's Translation)

In the process of searching, he had seen too much and gradually understood that what has meaning today may lose its meaning tomorrow.

Tencent Video Interview in September 2024

Q: Tibetan Sea Flower is actually a process of searching for him.

A: Searching for his past is also a process of him going from a god to a human being, and Sand Sea is a process of Wu Xie going from a human to a god, and they cross paths in the middle.

"Does meaning have any meaning?" Menyouping showed a rare concern for the word "meaning". He looked at the blazing bonfire and said, "The word meaning itself has no meaning."—Daomu Biji Vol. 8: Finale (Part II) Chapter 17 | Chapter 78 (MereBear's Translation)

He once hoped, but he never dared to put so much expectation, until Wu Xie appeared.

Tibetan Sea Flower Online Q&A on September 22, 2024

Q: Has Wu Xie ever taught Zhang Qiling anything?

A: There is a person called Wu Xie in the world, and this is the first time you have seen him in a hundred years.

Then, let's take a look at this series of statements by NPSS about Zhang Qiling.

NPSS wrote about Zhang Qiling at the end of vol. 8:

Men You Ping: This is a powerful man who is like a god or Buddha. I can always write with extra ease when he is around, because as long as he is by your side, he can protect you from all disasters and pains. He has no words, he is not happy, he is not sad, he always stands there like a [Chinese] porcelain doll, watching everything indifferently [my friend said "瓷娃娃" is a symbolic sculpture without the feeling of sorrow or joy], but you know he cares about you. No one can ever bring you so much sense of security like him. However, I don't know why, when I write about the various actions of this man, I always feel a deep sadness in my heart.

As he said, he is a person without past and future. His only connection with the world seems to have little value [it was before he claimed Wu Xie as his only connection with the world, at that time he was only searching for his memories and clues about himself which actually led to his responsibility as Zhang Qiling but not his true self]. He doesn't know where he came from or where he will go. He only knows that he has something he must do in this world. "Can you imagine? One day, when you wake up from a cave, you don't know anything and look around in confusion, you already have a responsibility that you must shoulder. You have no right to see the scenery along the way, you can't enjoy [to be with] friends and lovers, and all the beautiful things in your life have lost their meaning to you the moment you regain consciousness."

Zhang Qiling is carrying his own destiny in silence. What hurts me the most is that he just carried it nonchalantly, as if it was all natural, as if it was just an insignificant matter. If you ask him, he will just shake his head silently and tell you: "It doesn't matter". This is the man I wrote. He bears the most painful fate in the world, even a thousand times more painful than death, but he is not angry or sad, neither escaping nor suffering. He is right there, telling everyone he protects that it doesn't matter.

Zhang Qiling is physically and mentally strong, if not he wouldn't have survived all alone by himself in those years. However, being strong doesn't mean he has no weakness. He is not omnipotent nor a god. Having a weakness is a sign that he is human. He is observant and cautious, he is often caught off guard when received Tianshou (which can't be predicted) or when he loses too much blood (because his wound takes longer to heal than ordinary people). Most of the time, he feels indifferent to the pain. He endures it well, but he is not immune to it, he still feels hurt.

Snake Ancestor ignored him. After he was done, he said to Men You Ping: "Your hand will hurt so much that you can't move it for three days. It will be like stone, but you won't die."

Men You Ping raised his bitten hand and took a deep breath. He saw that the blood vessels near the wound were bulging, and his stiff fingers began to move instantly.

"Can you still move? Impossible?" Snake Ancestor was surprised. "Don't you feel pain?"

"It does hurt." Menyouping shook his hands and switched the knife to his other hand. With a loud snap, the young master was knocked over and fell on his back. The entire floor arched up, and a huge claw-like insect flipped up from under the floor, and the floor fragments were scattered everywhere.—Daomu Biji Extra: Fantasy Ch. 20 | Ch. 2.24 (MereBear's Translation)

Then, he meets Wu Xie.

Tibetan Sea Flower Online Q&A on August 31, 2024:

Q: What was Zhang Qiling and Wu Xie's first impression of each other?

A: Wu: Wow, what a cocky guy. Zhang: It seems like there is an amateur in the team.

Facebook Interview on September 18, 2014:

Q: I want to know why Xiaoge takes such good care of Tianzhen throughout the whole story, because his care for Tianzhen has gone beyond the scope of friends and colleagues (personal opinion).

A: When you see people around you being as weak as tofu*, you will also think of giving them some protection so that you don't have to do the laundry [something like 'avoid unnecessary trouble'].

*豆腐 "tofu": I'm not sure if international fans know about tofu, there are many variations of tofu, but the texture of tofu is usually very soft and easily broken if you don't handle it properly.

Tibetan Sea Flower Online Q&A on August 31, 2024:

Q: When did Zhang Qiling start to feel that Wu Xie was special?

A: When Wu Xie performed impossible and inhumane miracles time and time again.

Douyin Live on 16 September, 2024:

Q: There is a line in the book "Tibetan Sea Flower" that says that Xiaoge lost his connection with the world. Do you think it was a certain turning point that made Xiaoge feel that he had some connection with the world again? Or was it not a certain moment, but the accumulation of various friendships and experiences?

A: I can give you an example. You know that there are people who can establish a connection with you, and you know that there are people who can work hard to connect you with the world. Maybe he himself is the anchor point of that connection, but you also know that this person will not always be there. Zhang Qiling knows very well that it is impossible for someone to always do this, because his destiny is to be disconnected from the world, and his entire life is to be constantly disconnected. So he knew that in his long life, there might be many people willing to do this, but who would be willing to do this all the time? Zhang Qiling had no hope for this, because he had experienced many separations and seen many such situations.

So when the Iron Triangle was formed, Zhang Qiling initially thought that this might just be a short journey, a short connection. He knew that maybe it could be done. Ordinary people can always become god-like in a short period of time. Ordinary people have this light, but if you can become god-like for a lifetime, Zhang Qiling has never thought about it, but the Iron Triangle is moving towards this possibility. They will become a lifelong connection. For Wu Xie and Pangzi, they have burned up all their time.

This is a more real connection than anyone Zhang Qiling can remember.

Tencent Video Open Day Live on 9 September, 2024:

Q: It is known that Wu Xie is a magnificient scholar of Zhang Studies, but what about Zhang Qiling? How much does he know about Wu Xie? Who knows him better, him or Wu Xie?

A: I think Wu Xie is a very simple person. Wu Xie's resume is written on one A4 page. So I think Zhang Qiling knows more about Wu Xie. Moreover, Zhang Qiling has seen so many people. He may have only one question about Wu Xie, that is, among so many people, what is the difference between Wu Xie and others. Wu Xie in his long life, he would think that Wu Xie is somewhat different. What is the difference?Right, because Wu Xie wiped out the Zhang family (slip of the tongue, it should be the Wang family) by himself.

Nanjing Live Broadcast on August 16, 2023:

Q: What is the relationship between the Iron Triangle from Zhang Qiling’s perspective?

A: I think he has to go through several stages. At the beginning, he will think of two mortals, two ordinary people, and then try his best to protect them. Then slowly he discovered that these two people also had a slightly different aura. And in many cases, it is said that the behaviors and states of these people are beyond the energy range of ordinary people. For example, he may encounter very persistent people many times in his life. But those who are persistent may not be able to hold on for a year or two. In other words, his harsh life is something that others cannot keep up with. But he met someone like Wu Xie who always persistent and became stronger and stronger, constantly upgrading himself. This person is very special. He may be different from others. In such a long world, people like this are rare. This person is very special. He may be different from others. In such a long world, such people are rare. Then there is Wang Pangzi. How can this person do it? The way they do it is different. Wu Xie relies on persistence, and Pangzi relies on being heartless and shameless. So it feels that in the past, all the companions around you may disappear after walking and walking, but these two people not only did not disappear, but their presence became stronger and stronger. In the end, I feel that I will get used to it slowly.

Taobao Live Broadcast on October 30, 2022:

Q: After Zhang Qiling met Wu Xie and others from the beginning and experienced so much together now, will there be any changes in his mentality?

A: I think his world will become a warm color. His previous world was not a cold color, but a neutral color. It made no difference to him whether he had it or not. There was no concept of ownership in his life, whether I was owned by you or I owned something myself. When the world has warm tones, (although) he is essentially a person who has no meaning to him for any possession, the only thing he can have is that color. There may still be various problems with his memory in the future, but that touch of warmth will eventually belong to him, and the color of that world and that period of time cannot be washed or erased. What I mean is that even Tianshou can't erase that kind of temperature. I think this is the most core change in his mentality.

Live broadcast on June 11, 2021:

NPSS: For Zhang Qiling, Wu Xie is his only connection with the human world. He can have no connection with the human world. After so many years, Wu Xie is the opportunity for him to be willing to connect with the human world. This is also something that requires courage for him, because connecting with Wu Xie means connecting with other people. At the beginning, Wu Xie was just one of the many people he had saved, but Wu Xie reached a state of transcendence through his own qualities. He can attract another person who is not a mortal. There is such a person. When you look at him, you will have this feeling-

Host: This is that person, this is the person I am looking for.

NPSS: Yes.

It only takes less than two years to change Zhang Qiling's opinion about Wu Xie, from 'one of the people he had saved' to 'his only connection with this world'. Two years are just a small number in Xiaoge's long life, but the days when they got along together in life-and-death situations are much more meaningful than what he ever imagined. Knowing him little by little, Xiaoge feels that Wu Xie is different, a rare soul. Wu Xie cares about him without any hidden intentions. He is sincere and persistent, proving himself that he has exceeded Xiaoge's presumptions of human beings, again and again.

"Human beings are much scarier than ghosts, and it is hard to understand people's hearts," said Men You Ping, "Living people are worse than ghosts." After saying that, he glanced at Laba's hidden knife.—Tibetan Sea Flower 1 Ch. 12

Later, NPSS explained about Zhang Qiling's farewell in Hangzhou (see more here or here):

"He came to find Wu Xie, which was the biggest emotion in his life for so many years."

Xiaoge is not without emotions. For Zhang Qiling who has seen too much and experienced all sorts of things, it's not easy to cause a spark in his heart. He has his own way of dealing with his own emotions and expressing his feelings. As an analogy, his emotional state is like an ocean; vast, calm, and deep. A small ripple won't have any effect on him, and the waves were just small frictions on the surface. Despite this, that day when he came to Hangzhou to say goodbye to Wu Xie, he felt the greatest emotions after so many years of emotional numbness.

"I came to say goodbye to you." He said, "It's all over. I thought about my connection with this world, and it seems that the only one I can find now is you."—Daomu Biji Vol. 8: Finale (Part II) Ch. 25 | Ch. 76 (MereBear's Translation)

It was stated in Tibetan Sea Flower that Xiaoge also came to Pangzi and entrusted him with three things, which are related to Wu Xie's presumably future actions.

"The first thing is that you found his statue." Pangzi said, "This proves that you found the place where he began to lose connection with this world. This statue was made for him by the best craftsman in the temple at that time. It is his only projection in this world."—Tibetan Sea Flower 2 Ch. 19 | Ch. 84 (MereBear's Translation)

Each encounter has its own purpose. Pangzi didn't chase after Xiaoge, because he understood that if Xiaoge choose not to tell him everything, then so be it, and no one can stop him once he made a decision. On the other hand, Wu Xie has an intrigued temper which is different from Pangzi. If Xiaoge deliberately didn't tell him anything, Wu Xie could just go find it out by himself.

Xiaoge is someone who solves the problem right on the spot the moment he figures it out, and he will not do something unnecessary.

Tibetan Sea Flower Online Q&A on 6 September, 2024:

Q: How would Wu Xie or Xiaoge overcome difficulties when they encounter them, or what is their psychology?

A: Xiaoge overcomes the difficulties on the spot, while Wu Xie overcomes the difficulties secretly.

He came to Wu Xie, even though it had nothing to do with his mission. He could just go straight away to Changbai mountains, but he didn't. What did he expect after saying those words? He was aware of Wu Xie's temper, yet he still went to find him and said something that even Wu Xie might not know what it meant at that time; because he wanted him to know.

He had lost his connection with this world once, and he was going to experience it again. There was no need to carve his emotions on a stone, he now understood it very well; to think and miss; to have his own desire. He wanted Wu Xie to know how important he was to him. He is always selfless, but this time he found again his long-lost desire, a selfish desire.

"It's all over. I thought about my connection with this world, and it seems that the only one I can find now is you."

Those words are not just ordinary "romantic" or "insignificant" words. They can't be understood with a superficial approach, but only after reading Tibetan Sea Flower and Three Days of Silence or Zhang Qiling's story that the meaning can be conveyed properly. They carry so much meaning that speaks volumes of what Xiaoge was thinking at that time. It was the first time after he lost his mother, Baima, that he had his own "desire" again.

“Wu Xie is the opportunity for him to be willing to connect with the human world. This is also something that requires courage for him, because connecting with Wu Xie means connecting with other people.”

In other words, Wu Xie is like a "bridge" that connects Zhang Qiling's world to the human world, and leads to another lifelong companionship like Pangzi. Even to this day, a genuine and sincere relationship without any malice is rare to be found in this world. Wu Xie is an important part of Xiaoge's existence, and recognizing this strong bond won't make Zhang Qiling lose himself. On the contrary, Wu Xie helped him to find his pieces of life and finally do something he truly wants. It's not a one-sided feeling, Xiaoge sacrificed himself for Wu Xie, and it was not out of obligation or courtesy. And it was also the case with Wu Xie defeated the Wang family. Their feelings for each other have always been unconditional, they don't ask anything in return, and what they have done only shows how far they can go for the other.

Xiaoge: “I will give you my whole life in exchange for your ten years of innocence.”

Wu Xie: “I will use my ten years in exchange for your stability and peace of mind for the rest of your life”

There is so much happening after this period that it is worth talking about, but it's getting too long. Perhaps I will continue it, but I cannot guarantee anything (∩˃ω˂∩)

Thank you for reading! ^^

Source: Original picture by 刘巴布

[x3nx]

BEEET!!!!! HERE IT IS...

um also this was finished back in october or smth AND its my first writing thing so prepare for it bc it might be bad... also idk its also a bit corny and cliche and cringe so!!! yeahhaahAANAYSWAYS CLICK THE CUT FOR IT

hater and wander are stuck in a room together. the lightning horned being had been banging on the locked door for atleast 3 minutes now, yelling for somebody to get him out of the dimmed secluded room with the fuzzy small nomad. wander had been sitting there, watching silently as hater tried to get into contact with literally anyone on the other side of the door.

"GROP DARN IT SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HEEEEEREEE..."

finally giving up on banging on the door, he put his forehead against it, sliding down onto his knees in defeat. wander took this chance to be able to talk to the large boney being. he walked up to be positioned behind him, the nomads hands clasped behind his back and looking over haters shoulder.

"it'll be okay hatey... eventually some fella will come wanderin' around here and let us out..."

the small spoon-shaped figure smiled softly after pausing.

"plus that gives us time to be with each other! you know, like play games, get to know each other, talk about our feelings..."

"SHUT UP I DONT WANT TO BE IN HERE WITH YOU!!!!!"

he turned around and sat on the floor with a grumpy slump, his back against the door. hater crossed his arms and puffed his cheeks in a pouty demeanor as he saw wander standing in front of him.

the good doers smile increased at the sight of the tantrum.

"aww, come on! it wont be so bad!! cheer up a bit!!!"

he nudged the other living being with his elbow, poking hater softly.

the villian growled a bit, wanders actions getting annoying to him like always.

"no."

he scooted himself to face a corner, moving away from wander.

"i dont want to talk to you."

the nomad obviously followed him to the spot he was in. once again he was behind him.

"yet you're talking to me right now, silly!"

wander lightheartedly chuckled at hater as the latter growled quietly.

"come on just talk to me or play a little game with me and ill stop botherin' you..."

now beginning to poke at the side of the annoyed beings body, he waited until hater gave a response to him. the prodding furthered haters anger after a minute, him yelling in frustration.

"RAAGHG FINE!!! ILL PLAY YOUR DUMB GAME... OR..WHATEVER!!!!!"

wander grinned in response as hater swiftly turned around from the corner with an irritated expression.

"so! how was your day hater?!!"

he stared at the taller figure with curiosity and innocence as he patiently waited for a response.

"ruined because of being forced in here with you."

"it was good before right now? what made it good??"

"...well i dont know. it was the same..."

"how exactly was your day 'the same'?"

".....urhm... yeah. im not doing this anymore. you're too annoying and weird..."

hater turned back around as wanders expression faltered. he sighed with a bit of sadness.

"what do i gotta do to be able to talk to you?"

"nothing. i thought you were gonna stop annoying me after i did something with you..."

there was a small pause between the two.

"...well okay, if thats what you want hater!"

wander walked away from him, unfazed. he sat down nearby the skeleton as his space was limited and looked at hater for a while before sighing. he then looked at a random spot on the empty white wall in boredom.

hater, still having the front of his body turned towards the corner, sat still. he sat still and silently, his thoughts and the eerie silence of the room the only company around since he pushed wander away.

not too soon after their last interaction, the both of them heard soft buzzing coming from an unknown source in the space. hater coughed quietly in uncomfortableness due to the prolonged quietness, though he'd rather it be like this than talk to the nomad.

. . . . .

some time had passed by. the exact time? none of them knew. and none of them had made a sound. not talking to each other. it was like it was illegal to speak to one another, atleast on haters side it was. wander would gladly chat with the guy.

the silence that went on for forever was cut by the horned figure moving to lay on the ground on his side. hater sighed with boredom evident in it, feeling the coldness of the floor on his smooshed face. he closed his eyes for a bit as he began to get a bit groggy from being tired due to boredom.

wander on the other hand was knitting something while he hummed a soft tune, not loud enough for lord hater to be annoyed by it. he had his signature starred green hat on the floor as yarn came out of it. his head suddenly moved upwards, hearing shuffling from the occupied corner. he viewed hater as he did the action then exhaled softly. it looked like hater was tired. wander continued watching the resting figure, the latter beginning to move again after a minute or two.

hater went to laying on his stomach as he couldn't sleep due to the hard uncomfortable floor and began to play with his fingers. he extended his arms and put his hands in front of his face, propping them up with two fingers on each hand. he pretended one hand was him, the other being wander and began to quietly mumble to himself.

"raaah, ima destroy you wander!"

his right hand 'pointed' at his left hand, aka wander.

"oh no! please dont destroy me all mighty hater!!"

hater changed his voice to be higher as he bent his left hands fingers, pretending it was wander cowering in fear and begging for mercy.

"no! i give no mercy to those who are pesky and irritating!! muahahaha!!!"

his right hand began to glow a neon green, green electricity forming.

"now say your goodbyes to your dumb horse and your dumb friends and your dumb everything, you wandering weir- OW!!!!!"

hater suddenly yelled loudly and jumped as he accidentally shocked his hand with his own powers somehow. he frowned slightly as he held his own hand before he heard a soft but faint chuckle nearby, turning his head to the source of the sound.

wander was the one laughing with fondness, covering his smile a bit as he looked at hater admiringly.

embarrassment creeping onto his face, the reddening individual stared at the giggly soul. he stared at the soft and carefree expression plastered on his face for a few seconds before shaking his head and spoke up, finally breaking the silence of their voices not speaking.

"...what?"

he unexpectedly found himself heating up more as he asked that.

"oh, nothing..."

wander held back his giggles of amusement as he started voicing his thoughts. he spoke up again.

"it just you..you playing with your fingers is pretty charming..and a bit silly..."

he put his head in his palm, propping it up as he gazed at hater with a lovingly expression.

hater, still laying on his stomach, began to lift himself up to sit down as wander spoke. while he stared at wanders expression, he tried to turn his embarrassment into anger, it only mixing together.

"SHUT UP!!!!!"

with his heart beginning to beat fast his face just continued growing hotter and redder.

the smiling fuzzy being took notice this obviously, beginning to scoot closer to him. as wander did so hater grew nervous for an unknown reason. the latter backed himself up more into the corner with his knees curling up into his chest. wander gazed at him continuously once he got in front of him.

hater did the opposite of wander, looking everywhere but him. he sweat in nervousness as an anxious expression crept up into his face, furrowing his eyebrows.

the infatuated nomad softly continued gazing into the embarrassed and nervous skeletons eyes, sometimes taking his eyes off of his to look at other details on his face. the smile on his face grew the more he looked.

this only made haters heart beat faster. he didnt know what he was so nervous for anymore, having the weird strange feeling in his stomach rise up in him again. a feeling he practically never felt before he met wander and can never describe. using the sole of his shoe he pushed wander away, only for him to come back again.

he tried to wipe off the newfound anxious smile growing on his face with his arm, rubbing it afterwards.

"um-"

the lightning horned figure turned to face the corner, holding his heated face with both hands in hopes the other being in the room would go away. a few minutes passed and he slowly started to relax, his muscles untensing and the warmth in his face barely there. he wondered where the nomad was before he jumped from him beginning to embrace him suddenly with no reason.

feeling the warmth from wanders body on him, he immediately frowned hard as the blush stuck back on his face and his heart quickly began to pump adrenaline through him again. a war started in his head, one side wanting to be let go, the other wanting to stay like this. it made him angry and confused on why he wanted wander to continue when he knew he wanted him to stop.

with little strength, he used his elbow and tried pushing him away. wander, instead of letting go, tightened his hug and laid his head on his shoulder. hater grumbled softly, moving as close as he can to the corner, only moving atleast a centimeter closer. the two stayed like that for a few, it slowly creeping its way up to being the record for the longest hug without hater pushing wander away angrily.

hater, during the prolonged embrace from the small cuddly nomad, began to feel more comfortable by the touch, usually being uncomfortable with it. though he did start to wonder why wander hasnt let go and stopped the hug. he wasnt complaining either. it actually felt a bit nice to be hugged by him, he always thought this before the current sitch. he would never admit that out loud verbally, his actions took care of that. he relaxed his body and leaned against the wall as a not too noticeable smile appeared on haters face. he closed his eyes and quietly hummed with content, filling the silence.

wander, who was resting on haters shoulder felt the latter move, opening his eyes and seeing the other being smile softly. it wasnt until hater began humming which made wanders heart explode from how cute he thought hater was being. it hit him that hater actually stayed in his embrace and liked it, which practically told him that he really didnt hate him after all and made him smirk widely. he made a 'hm' sound.

hearing the small noise from the nomad, he snapped back to reality, stopped smiling and opened his eyes, looking to his side where wander was staring, smirking widely at him.

"you do like me, dont you hater?"

confidently teased with a low 'i knew it' tone, he persisted with his facial expression.

the skeletons face heat up a smidgen. he then scoffed and rolled his eyes, trying to cover everything up as he turned his head away from the nomad.

"pshh- no... saying i like you is a bit muuu..n-NOOOT THAT I LIKETHEHUGORANYTHINGGETOFFOFME!!!!!!!!!!"

realizing what he just said, the lord whined loudly at wander, his voice getting high pitched as he yelled, prying the furry fellow off himself. he grabbed wander and threw him across the room and grabbed his hood with both hands, hitting himself with his fists.

wander landed perfectly on his feet like a cat, staring at lord hater who was berating himself.

"hatey, its okay..."

he walked back to him cautiously.

"its okay to like hugs..."

"SHUT UP OR YOURE GONNA MAKE ME FEEL WEIRD AGAI-"

he covered his mouth before he finished his sentence, though it didnt erase what he just blurted out.

"AAAAGHHGH!!!!!!!!!! JUST SHUT UP!!!"

hater gripped his horns, his face heating up furiously as he scrunched up more in the corner he was facing.

wander, now right behind him, blinked a few times after he said that, processing what he said.

"hater..?"

he lightly touched haters shoulder, the latter jumping slightly.

"...what exactly do you feel??.."

the distressed being didnt respond, hugging his knees and turning his head a bit as he had his face faced downwards.

wander looked at hater as he waited for a response. once he knew the latter wasnt gonna respond he sighed and sat down next to him against the wall.

he continued staring at the curled up lord who hid himself and began thinking about what he meant by what he just said. wander felt it was what he thought it was, now just thinking deeply about it. that was until hater unexpectedly spoke up.

"...u-uh..."

he looked up a bit, staring at the wall in front of him. wander can see how red he was. hater tried to voice something, making small noises. he wanted to tell wander about his feelings from earlier. unfortunately for him, he lost the second war in his head that fought about telling him or not, but he wasnt able to put it in words that made it make sense. he growled and then furrowed his eyebrows.

"i-i cant..."

"cant what?"

wander put his hand on haters arm, hater looking down at it and staring at the skull ring on his finger, getting flustered a bit more.

"put it into words i-"

sighing, he laid his head down again before picking it up again.

"i dont know... your fuzzy dumbass makes me so..angry and confused."

he inhaled softly

"...and strange. i hate this weird feeling. i hate you."

his eyebrows furrowed more as he felt himself get warmer than before when he glanced at wander for a single second.

a small smile appeared when hater finally began to tell wander about his feelings, he also saw the reddening of the other being as he glanced at him.

he hummed as he began to figure out how to help hater realize his new feelings without getting him to freak out about it, already knowing what was going on with him, something he fully understood. wanders face heat up a bit as he thought about it; hater having a possible crush on him.

"well..what exactly do you feel hater?? i want to understand what you feel so i can help you."

"AGWHHG LIKE THIS I DONT KNOW!!!"

he moved his hands up and down, pointing to his anxious demeanor as he raised his voice.

"nervous, warm, sweaty- i-i dont know okay??!"

"...uh huh... so..you only felt this today, right now? any other times with similar feelings or no?? how long???"

"...uh-um. i-i guess there are a few other times..a while ago..or something. atleast a few months after meeting you. why am i even..."

hater shook his head. he sighed as he pushed wanders hand off him, criss crossing as he held his head up with his hand, looking down.

"stupid..obsession with you... i cant resist wanting to chase you and destroy you. it makes me so angry. i cant stop thinking about you either... yo-you make me..just... m-my heart beats fast and i get all warm inside."

now covering his face in embarrassment of admitting that, he turned his back to wander.

wanders face slowly heat up, smiling brightly at hater.

"you said you dont know what this feeling is..right?"

"mm"

"well..."

the nomad took a small portion of air and put it into his lungs.

"do you know what being in love is hater?"

wander eyed hater from behind, awaiting his answer. he knew he was oblivious to these type of things so he helped him with realizing, doubting he figure it out right then and there.

"yeah. its when you look at someone and think their pretty and want to kiss them..."

the happy-go-lucky fellow softly chuckled at the response, pretty much expecting it from someone like him.

"its a lot more than that hatey... its when..the person youre in love with makes you feel happy, making you feel all warm and fuzzy inside when youre around them. youd also get nervous when their around. you have an emotional connection with them..."

he spat out meanings and examples as lord hater began to process what he said. it took about a great 5-10 minutes before hater finally realized he loved wander.

wander was sitting there with his hands clasped together before he heard shuffling from the lord besides him, now looking at him. hater had his head up and was staring at the wall for a while before he got up suddenly. he inhaled sharply.

"...sooo... i uh- i forgot to c-captain tim the dishwash an-and thats impetulant..so i-i-iiiIIIII GOTTAGOBYE!!!!!!!!!"

dashing to the locked door in fear and panic he tried to open it, fumbling with the knob.

"LET ME OOOOOUUUTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!"

wander immediately got up and went to hater in alarm.

"hater??!"

"NO."

hater fell dramatically on the floor with a thump, holding his hands up in front of him, shielding himself.

"G-GET AWAY FROM ME. YOURE WANDERIZING ME, YOURE WANDERIZING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

wander took a few steps back.

"its okay to be in love!!! i-im not mad or judging you!!!!"

hater went into another corner, curling back up and banging his head on his knees. he wanted so bad to be in denial with his newfound feelings but it became increasingly hard to do so.

the worried nomad studied hater, trying to come up with something to calm him down. he then took atleast a step closer and sat in front of him.

"hater, look. its okay. im not 'wanderizing' you or anything... you feel this way all on your own."

"HOW DO YOU KNOW??!"

"...well im not sure what wanderizing exactly is but uh..youd be acting different if i did do that?"

wander shrugged in confusion.

thinking for a few seconds, what wander told hater actually helped him. hater sighed in defeat as he thought that that made 'logical sense' and slumped against the corner. he crossed his arms and looked at the floor, trying to avoid eye contact with the nomad.

sighing, he laid his hands on haters knees, looking over them and beginning to gaze at the skeletons ashamed and embarrassed expression smeared on his face.

he continued staring, before breaking the silence by speaking up in a soft, gentle tone.

"...you know, im not gonna think any less of you for feeling this way..about me... i wouldnt ever think any less."

wander stayed silent for a second. he then began to smile softly.

"im actually proud of you."

hater widened his eyes and turned his head swiftly to look at wander as his heart skipped a beat from the compliment, the first he finally accepted from the latter and acknowledged as genuine. wander was beaming with euphoria as his eyes began to get watery, beginning to shakily speak to him.

"so, so proud of you..."

he began to shed tears of joy, putting his arms criss cross on top haters knees and laid on them, the side of wanders face smooshing.

"i-i... you... youve gotten so far from when i first met you a few years back..."

wander sniffled and wiped his tears on his arms, suddenly jumping onto hater and laid on his chest as he tightly hugged him.

"im genuinely very proud of you hater..."

he spat out shakily as his voice got higher while he cried on hater.

hater jumped and raised his arms. his eyes widened more at the sudden quick action from the nomad, his heart beating once again right after. he really didnt know how to feel about the current situation; he was utterly confused, lost. he never experienced these type of things before he met wander. though the only difference now is that he accepted wanders sincere affection, which he kinda didnt know how to react to still.

hater, with a befuddled expression; furrowing his eyebrows and his mouth almost agape, looked down at the nomad, who laid on haters chest with a small smile as there were still a bit of tears in his eyes, not running.

before he knew it, he found himself getting a bit teary from the compliment, it being a late reaction as he began smiling softly with wander. his face heat up as the warm fuzzy feeling spread across his body, his smile growing bigger by the second. he looked away and slowly let his arms down, letting them rest against wander as he leisurely pat wanders head, it being a non verbal thanks and a way to comfort him aswell.

wander tightened his hug as his smile got bigger, curling up and nuzzling against haters chest. he laid there, listening to his heart beat furiously beneath his red and black outfit as his head got pat.

the two laid there for a while, it seeming like it was forever, starting to cuddle as hater wrapped his arms around wander aswell and laid his head on top of him, them falling asleep on eachother with eachother.

---

ASGHH THATS ALL anyways if u made it this far, CONGRATS HERES UR PRIZE (silly thing made by me)