#this post brought to you by being at the point in my replay where you find septimus signus and he tells you abt mzark

[ludinusdaleth]

it always makes me sad hearing the quests "discerning the transmundane" & "touching the sky" (and their respective zones, blackreach & the forgotten vale) are generally hated for being long & ardous, because for me, they are skyrim at its best. exploring a massive unique area you'll never truly find every corner of with a questline drenched in lore that is at times peak deliciously incomprehensible & pretentious, standing in an absolutely beautiful land with air choking you alive with history your character was destined to be a part of, thats what tes is ABOUT for me

[telanadasvhenan]

thinking more about the psychological aspect of solavellan, and before I start, I'd like to stress that this is NOT CRITICAL of it, I actually think it's what makes part of the dynamic interesting. My word isn't the be all and end all, however, this is just my musings on the topic :] Also, REALLY long post! so, more under the read more lol

From Lavellan's point of view, I would personally struggle to see her trusting another lover or close one again for a long time, if ever again. I don't really think people ever talk about the real impact of the things she goes through, or what solas put her through, and the hurt as a result of it. The relationship is never defined between the two of them, it's always spoken about in vague undetermined words from their companions and poetic elvish between the two of them. Are they lovers? companions? partners? it's really up to the player. Leliana says that "you were close", Sera says Lavellan is "in it." Vhenan means home, heart, it's not a word said lightly imo and he tells you he loves her by their second kiss. It's never an official thing, so how secure can Lavellan truly feel?

This could go both ways when it comes to the break up. Crestwood, as a scene, is so interesting to me because the first portion seems like a man brought to his knees by weakness for the woman he loves. The two of them never cease to touch, fingers entwined, shoulders brushing, skin to skin. It's so reminiscent of how Lavellan matches his Hallelujah cadence. They're two parts of a song singing together. It's a gorgeous scene and it's understandable how so many are angry at how it ends because the whiplash between how it starts and what it leaves you with is severe. Imagine this from lavellan's shoes.

You're desperately in love with someone at odds with your people, who is wonderful and enticing and smart. Loving solas feels like loving the whole world, like being free and connected with the stars. But you don't know what this is. And, if you thought you did, how far can you presume? Is Lavellan always on edge, scared to love him deeper and richer than he loves her? or is she in a false sense of security, assuming his affection is forever hers. So when he not only breaks away your faith and trust in your history, plus potentially the vallaslin, she is clearly deeply upset. This isn't a minor fact that simply can be swept aside. The vallaslin is important. And Solas, even with the best intentions, has hurt her. He knows it and there's a reason why he apologises (bc he wimped out on the real truth). How much more does he know about her people that he has refused to tell her or kept from her by omission? Can you imagine the embarrassment, the utter humiliation of that secret? how many memories of them together where she replays his distaste for her people in her mind, knowing that he has access to knowledge that could change her perception of her past? Its ALOT. and thats even before the breakup.

Solas is not kind about the break up. It's rushed (impulsive to me) and doesn't do their connection justice. His composure cracks in places and it's very unlike him. It absolutely blindsides the player, so imagine being in Lavellan's place, AFTER THE VALLASLIN? personally, I wouldn't have been able to function. I half suspect that a sad, calm Lavellan is also in shock or disassociation. Because how else do you cope? The lack of communication between them alone is enough to raise my eyebrows. He promises answers. He confides that she saw through his mask and doesn't tell her what was real, and what was fake. He has given her a kernel truth whilst keeping her in the dark. Everything he told her could be a false, imaginary polite mask or it could be the truth. Where does it end? Where does he begin? Where does she stand?

I don't know if everyone has experienced what it's like to be ghosted or for a friend to simply disappear one day, but it changes you. I say this as someone who has both been avoidant as well as anxious, but you never recover. Someone disappearing like that makes you doubt any reassurance that people won't just evaporate from your life. So when Solas just disappears, the game's single conversation with Leliana feels a little lacking to me. I understand that they can't really dedicate a lot to it, I get that, so I'd like to fill it in. At first, it's search parties. Solas wouldn't just leave her like that. He promised her answers. He started another mural just before they left for corypheus. He didn't intend to just leave, surely.

Days, weeks and months pass. The question is worse than the truth. Is he dead? Did he use them? Was he being truthful when he spoke to her in those ruins, or another polite mask he could hide behind? Is it better if he's dead or better than he didn't deem her worthy enough to even say goodbye? We, as the players, obviously know this isn't true, but she doesn't know that. Does your lavellan assume the worst and be overcome with grief that her one love, her heart, her home, was nothing more than a lie of omission? or is there anger there at his betrayal of her trust once more? I seriously doubt it was easy to forget or dismiss. That kind of disappearance ruins your trust with people. Something. Anything would have been enough.

Again, this is all my opinion on how these emotions would play out and DEFINITELY NOT canon nor do they have to be! But I seriously struggle to see how Lavellan could even come to heal from these wounds within even a two year time skip. By the time of trespasser, almost everyone has left her side. She's almost entirely alone again, save Cullen and Josie (and leliana if she's not divine). And thats okay: they all have rich lives to return to. But that must just reaffirm to her that no one will stay. She is alone. How does she trust again?

And then there is Fen'harel. Lavellan's reaction to fen'harel has always lacked the fear I kind of hoped would be there? I mean this isn't just a minor deity, this IS THE antagonist of her entire faith. I'm assuming that she's lost hope in the gods, even though it's confirmed to her that they're real, but that message has been a part of her since childhood. So learning that he is the dreadwolf, again not from him, but from the fragments of his past must cut her deeply.

Her love was never who he said he was, she knows this, but who is the real man? She's never known him in a context where he can truly show her. Her love is fragmented between each identity he holds. Her trust that he is who he said he is fragments with it. The knowledge that not only has he been watching the inquisition, her, for years without a single hint that he lives or is okay must destroy her. Could you imagine how insignificant you must feel to him? And he essentially affirms to her that yes, in the greater scheme of things, his love and hers are inconsequential. They cannot matter to him because he cannot strive from his path. His indulgence was a mistake. And it's undeniably cruel. I love solas and I cannot argue that he was kind to Lavellan because he wasn't. To me, there is no way to see his actions as kind. Understandable, absolutely and definitely without malicious intent.

Lavellan learns that he loved her just as deeply, if not more. He loved her with all his heart and it did not matter. She changed him and it has only brought him more pain. He loves her too much to even allow her near him, to even give himself that weakness. They are apart from each other in an endless distance, only the two of them in the world. No one else.

Obviously, each Lavellan is different, and I've made a lot of assumptions, but I think it's worth considering. How do you love someone again after all of that? How much can you rebuild your faith after what you have learnt. Lavellan has loved a "god" (I know he's not a god, but for all intents and purposes, he has the power of a god and wears an evanuris crown.) and in turn, a god has loved her. And he left her with one last embrace that will leave its mark on her forever, then he leaves once more. Lavellan is alone.

Each love after is met with suspicion, distrust and comparison. Lavellan is entirely changed. How many pieces of her can be taken away until she is no longer herself? Each person wears a new mask she cannot determine. Where do they begin? Where can she find herself?

How lonely it must be to love someone like Solas and be at the other side of an endless distance.

[beomiracles]

Hi bby Serene 🤭

For kinktober I’d like to request taehyun + voyeurism maybe also some kind of camera usage too so he’ll use it to stalk (?) or film them, reader being a girlie girl too tehee

𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

DAY 19 : KANG TAEHYUN + VOYEURISM / CAMERA USAGE — Your face is the star of the show, and he always saves it for last. Wanting to catch you right on the edge, teetering on the brink of climax as your face flushes with pleasure. His hand cups your cheek and you nuzzle into his palm, sighing as he brings the recorder closer. — “Smile for the camera, angel.” And you do.

Voyeurism is the practice of gaining sexual pleasure from watching others (or oneself) when they are naked or engaged in sexual activity.

pairings taehyun x fem!reader warnings porn-making kind of, camera usage, scratching, unprotected sex + pullout, tiniest bit of nipple play, mentions of masturbation (m), softdom!taehyun.

#serene adds ✎ I also really really like this one heh. pt.2 of my moms birthday gift :3

EVENT POST

“Come on angel, look at the camera.” 

He urges as a pair of slender fingers hook around your chin, pulling your cheek to rest on the side of the soft pillow; your eyes easily falling on the small and red blinking dot, indicating that the device was recording. — With a shaky exhale you swallow as you will your gaze to stay trained to the camera as he’d instructed. Taehyun liked it the best when he could see your expression clearly, to rewind his favorite moments as your face scrunched up in pleasure. 

The room is dark, but not enough to where the outline of your perky tits couldn’t be made out on the recorder. They bounced with each thrust of Taehyun’s thick cock as he shoves himself deep inside of you; drawing as many high-pitched and strained moans from you as possible. — The pad of his thumb swipes across your bottom lip, gently tugging it down, making sure not to smudge your makeup. Red and bold lipstick, shining under the faint glow of the moon. You had picked it out carefully, knowing what he liked and what he didn’t, and most importantly; what showed the best on camera. 

Taehyun liked having you prettied up whenever he brought his recorder along. Getting ready was part of the foreplay; the way his hands would sneak down your sparkly skirt as you applied blush in the mirror. His eyes locking with yours as he presses wet kisses to your exposed shoulder and neck. The subtle point of his finger, indicating which eyeshadow he wanted you to use; and who were you to deny him. 

“Show me how good you feel, angel.” His voice is raspy, breathless, and you fervently nod, one of your hands cupping your tits as you pinch your nipples between your thumb and index finger. A whine passes your lips as your back arches off the mattress and Taehyun leans back to make sure the camera catches all of you. — “Fuck, you look gorgeous, angel.” 

He especially liked how you sounded on the recordings, the slight modification of your voice that came with the old device, the way it sounded when he increased the volume, when he replayed the sequence over and over. — The footage was for him to see, for him to use. It was sacred, it was his and no one else's. He would use them to get off, sometimes just to watch when he missed you, or when he was bored. 

With his hand on his cock, the other gripping the camera tightly, he would replay the scenes of your previous night together. Finishing all over himself when you turn toward the screen, watching him through the lens with lidded eyes as you tell him how much you love him. — Just thinking about what he would do with the tapes the next day got his mind reeling as he snapped his hips against yours, making you choke on your moans as your hands reached for his shoulders; pulling him down on you. 

Your nails scrape across his back, leaving red marks in their wake. Tilting your head to the side, you watch the way he looks on top of you through the small recorder. Even better is it when he sits up, one hand on your hip to keep you in place as he leans over to grab the small device in his hand, plucking it off its stand as he prepares to get close-up shots of your fucked-out expression. 

He starts where your bodies join, focusing on the way his thick cock slipped past your folds, wet cunt engulfing him like it was made for him only. His thumb circles your clit, the action makes you shudder, a hoarse whine escaping from deep within your throat as your thigh twitches. — “Such a pretty pussy”, he sighs, getting as many shots of your legs spread for him as possible. 

When he’s satisfied he moves to your tits, pinching and rolling your hardened nipples between his fingers, letting the recorder capture it all, every rhythmic bounce; the way his hand gropes at the soft flesh. He makes sure to highlight the splotchy red marks his lips and teeth had left, the pads of his thumb tracing across them as he tells you how beautiful you are. 

Your face is the star of the show, and he always saves it for last. Wanting to catch you right on the edge, teetering on the brink of climax as your face flushes with pleasure. His hand cups your cheek and you nuzzle into his palm, sighing as he brings the recorder closer. — “Smile for the camera, angel.” And you do. 

Lips pulling into a shy smile before they part, eyebrows drawing together as you finish on his cock with soft cry; one that undoubtedly sounded heavenly on tape. Taehyun’s gaze flits from your face through the small screen and that of the one before him, torn between the two enticing sights as he feels you clench around him. 

“Fuck angel”, he grunts, hips jerking forward one last time before he pulls out. He tilts the camera down, making sure to capture himself spurting his release all over you throbbing cunt, coating you in a shiny layer of cum. — He drags it out for as long as possible, not until his cock has fully softened in his hand does he pan out, getting a full shot of your spent body. 

From your spread legs to the mess between them, your bruised tits and neck, your disheveled hair but so perfectly put together face, shiny lipstick sparkling as you smile for the camera one last time. — “Fuck you’d be famous like this”, he murmurs, leaning down to plant a soft kiss to your inner thigh and you giggle. 

But Taehyun wasn’t planning on sharing you, not now, not ever.

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© all rights reserved ─ @beomiracles 2024

[floylia]

# MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE ⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾

04. I’m so wet tonight 💌

Destiny and fate are liken to strings you can’t untangle with ease. Two simple words with inexplainable concepts. A belief split into millions of definition.

But this might be fate—a doomed fate.

Cerulean eyes meet yours upon striding inside the store. The contact lasts longer than necessary. But within those few seconds, recognition is acknowledged on both sides.

That fateful day when a guy embarrassed himself and you watched it unfold.

You thought that was the last of it. Perhaps not.

You scan the small dairy isle, searching for an energy drink and a bucket of ice cream, while ignoring the pleads in the back of your head—constantly screeching about the humiliating past.

But who are you to feel embarrassed for him?

Why do you feel shame in the first place?

“Cash or card?”

“Cash.” You pass him the total amount, grabbing the wrinkled change you had in your wallet.

He takes it hesitantly, “By the way, about last time...”

Here we go.

“There was a rat in the locker room so I ran out like that. As for what I said… I don’t remember why I did that. But I promise, I’m not… a pervert,” The last phrase was faint as he whispers it in a breath.

You chuckle, “It made me laugh, don’t worry.”

One moment ago he was a grey cutout, now colors are back in his face as a grin reaches the wrinkles of his eyes, “So we’re cool?”

He looks like a dog wagging his tail after seeing a treat.

You nod, “Was that bothering you for a while?”

He breathes a sigh of relief—staring at you as if he had been derived of oxygen, “Yes! I was tossing my body back and forth that night, because my head refused to stop replaying the scene every time I closed my eyes. Can you imagine yourself doing that? Here I thought I was being mysterious.”

Not a single bone in his body was mysterious.

“People remember their own embarrassing moments more than other people’s, don’t stress about it.”

He shows his paper white teeth, “You have a way with words.”

“And you don’t,” You blurt out, recalling that moment.

Laughter engulfs the tense atmosphere.

“Fair enough. Fair enough. I’ll never live that down. My friends tease me enough already,” he hands you your change and the plastic bag worth of snacks.

The pit-a-patter outside makes your head swerve towards the window. Rain droplets fall from the heavens, gearing up as you spend minutes inside the establishment.

Checking the weather today slipped your mind, otherwise you would have brought an umbrella. Even though your dorm is nearby, running through the heavy downpour is not something you enjoy doing on a school night.

Navia would jerk her head in disapproval.

The ginger must have realized your conundrum.

“Here,” He offers you a small black umbrella, “You can use this.”

“No, no it’s alright. You might need to use that later.”

He shakes his head, “The store owns it. We have extra. Just borrow it for tonight. Then you can come back and return it. Think of this as an apology.”

“Thank you. I didn’t want to be drenched today. I’ll return this, I promise!”

A gentle smile pervades his face as he waves a goodbye. He observes you, crossing the street from the foggy window until your silhouette fades with the night sky.

In truth, the store didn’t own the umbrella. They don’t have an extra. It was his — but that is his little secret.

No harm done with a white lie.

NOTES:

kinda rushed (wrote the written parts in one night, i dont usually finish fics in one sitting)

ig he gained aura points?

was gonna post this later but fuck it 🤷‍♀️

SYNOPSIS: There’s a line Childe knows he shouldn’t cross; A line built on years of friendship; A line that happens to cross you, his best friend’s younger sister, grieving her first love; A line where he plays savior, wears a halo, then feign ignorance, because love is a game for fools—and he happens to be the biggest idiot when it comes to love.

When a new stranger invades your life and an old poet writes back.

CHILDE x FEM!READER

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[grotesquedarling]

All Yours.

Toby Rodgers x Werewolf!Fem!Reader

Summary: You are assumed dead, after going on a walk and not coming back. Toby finds evidence of the 'death' and thinks the worst. You return hours later, your ability to heal not working well. Toby helps you clean up, which leads to much more.

A/N: This is a one-shot for a story I am writing for Toby, where reader is a werewolf. If anything is confusing in this one-shot, God I pray not, it is connected to my story and things will fall in place as I post it! Divider made by cafekitsune! Please go easy on me, this my first time writing smut, or anything really, in about 2 years, due to writer's block, so things may be clunky.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI!, P in V, descriptions of violence and murder, no protection. (If I have forgotten one, please let me know!)

Word count: 3k

“Wh- What now?” Toby yelled. “Sh-she is d-dead!” He was getting worked up, stuttering more than usual.

Tim and Brian couldn’t do anything, nothing that would be helpful anyway, so they listened. They listened for so long they were to the point of ‘listening’. Which consisted of sitting in the room and dissociating while looking interested.

Toby was getting louder, pacing faster, unsure of how to handle the situation. “Are y-you even li-listening to m-me? SHE’S GONE!”

Before Tim or Brian could say anything, there was a loud bang on the cabin’s front door. As soon as all their eyes shot in the direction of the sound, the doorknob was ripped from the door, leaving a gaping hole where it once was. A few bloody fingers could be seen going into the hole to open the door.

The door swung open and there you stood, bloody and bruised. The three men looked at you in awe and confusion. 

“How-?”

“Don’t fucking speak to me,” you growled, “I am going to take a shower.”

Toby just stood there, unable to process the fact that you were actually alive, you may have looked like shit, but there you were, covered in blood and looking hotter than ever. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

As the cold water started to run down your body, the dried blood and dirt washed away. The images of the people that had been mauled, maimed, and mutilated didn't go anywhere, though, as a matter of fact, they just lingered and kept replaying.

“Shut up! You stupid fucking cunt, just stay down. Quit fighting back, you won’t win.”

A hand grabbed your hair as you were being yelled at, dragging you over to the lake you had been brought to to be thrown in after being killed. The thought of not being able to swim crossed momentarily, it was gone as soon as it seemed to come. Staying conscious was getting harder by the minute, eyes trying to close and breathing was almost impossible.

Unsure of what to do, a last burst of adrenaline hit, right before getting dunked into the lake. Your hand wrapped itself in the hair of the woman holding you, and dragged her off the dock with you.

Fighting underwater was not as easy as one would hope for in this situation. All you could do was hold on to the throat of the woman trying to murder you. If you’re dying, so is that bitch. Time felt almost as if it was slowed, as you waited for the bitch’s partner in crime to try to help her, he never showed.

Even struggling was hard, but losing is something you were never okay with, you had to win, or not die. Finally, life seemed to have left the woman, but you weren't about to let her trick you. You pulled yourself above the water, dragging the woman with you.

Your hand scrunched a bunch of the woman's hair, and quickly, with all the strength you could muster, you smashed her head into the dock, probably a little more than what would kill her. She will not be coming back from that one, you made sure of it.

As you finished, you stood up and looked down, blood was everywhere, yours and your attacker’s. You had no time to worry about that though, there was a man, somewhere close, who also wanted you dead. Blood loss and pain seemed to start setting in as you reached the grass, knees bruising as you hit the ground.

“What the fuck did they do to me? Why am I not healing? And where the fuck is-?”

Dead. As soon as you saw something, or someone, out of your peripheral vision running off, you noticed the guy was way beyond dead. You gave the woman you left on the dock one last glance, there was absolutely no chance she was coming back, unless someone were to gorilla glue her brain back together.

With both of them dead, you took a few minutes to lay in the grass, in the hopes that regulating your heart rate would start the healing process. It did not.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Tears fell down your cheeks as you sat on the floor of the shower, the back of your head against the wall. Pain was something foreign to you, considering your healing factor, but the healing wasn’t happening, not as fast as usual anyway. The pain was almost unbearable, but the feeling of possibly being dramatic due to never having to feel pain for long seemed to cross your mind.

Unaware of how long you’d be sitting under the warm water, you realized it had been at least 20 minutes. The water started to get cold, the change in temperature wasn’t a bother, considering you run hot anyway, but that meant someone would be checking on you soon, probably Toby. You two had gotten close recently, very close. Too close, according to Tim.

Keeping your composure under the cold water was getting hard, the adrenaline had worn off and everything hurt. Suddenly, you were hyper aware of every bruise and open wound you had, your legs hurt, your body ached, and breathing started getting hard again. A panic attack hit.

A heavy knock hit the bathroom door, and the door opened. The realization of how loud you were sobbing seemed to bring you back to reality. Trying to speak to Tim, who just slung the bathroom door wide open, was impossible at the time, the only thing coming from you were sobs.

The shower curtain moved to the side ever so slightly, Tim’s eyes met yours as you looked up at him, curled into a tight ball, knees against your chest.

“He wanted me to check on you first, can he come in?” Tim seemed to be hiding the worry he had for you, hoping that if he didn’t worry, Toby wouldn’t worry as much. That didn't work. Toby peeked over Tim’s shoulder to see how fucked up you were.

“G-get out Tim,” Toby shoved Tim aside and out the door. Once the bathroom door closed, Toby just stared at you for a minute, taking in the wounds that were not healing. “Why are you st-still bleeding? I th-thought you-.”

Your eyes stayed glued to the wall in front of you, unmoving as your head rested on your knees. Words weren’t coming easy, the panic attack seemed to subside, breathing still seemed to be a big task, and you felt mentally numb.

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Toby crouching now and knew he wouldn’t go away without getting the information he wanted and making sure you were okay, and since being okay was not a thing at the moment, he would not be leaving.

“If you’re just gonna sit there and stare at me like that, you might as well get in.” You deadpan, eyes still glued to the wall. “It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked before.”

His eyes widened, “I-I,” he stuttered out, shocked by your offer. “I’ll h-have you know, I haven't ever s-seen you n-naked by ch-choice. You don’t l-lock doors.” He was flustered, but he wasn’t going to turn down the offer. He started to remove his clothes, and quickly.

While trying to stand up so Toby could get in the shower, stars filled your vision and put you right back on your ass and a little yelp left your throat. You leaned into the wall again, completely and utterly ready to give up.

Toby sat down beside you, both of you completely vulnerable, and seemed to be scanning the severity of the damage to your body. He was quiet, more quiet than usual, it was almost scary. His eyes finally made his way up to yours, tears started streaming once again. Never in your life had you wanted to be held so badly, you had always been able to be independent and take care of yourself.

With his eyes still locked on yours, the words ‘hold me,’ slipped from your lips. Without hesitation he pulled you into him, causing you to wince with how fast and rough the action was.

“S-sorry,” he whispered as he gently loosened his grip on you. His fingers started tracing the bruises on your arms, then stomach, then your thighs. Something about him having to be gentle with you for the first time, made you feel a way, you couldn’t tell what that way was, but it was nice.

Leaning into him was a lot better than leaning on that hard ass wall, as he continued looking over your body, you listened to his heart as your head rested against his chest, regulating your own breathing and heart rate.

Pain started to slowly subside, your chest was not as tight, and the anxiety had melted away. Healing still wasn’t happening, at least not fast enough, it only seemed to be slowly coming back, and being the most impatient person in the world it might as well just be not working.

“I don’t understand why I am not healing,” you thought aloud, “If you're done looking at my tits from over my shoulder, will you help me just clean up? I feel absolutely disgusting.”

Toby was flustered once more, and hid his face in your shoulder for a moment. “Y-yeah, I can,” he whispered before helping you up.

Being in such a vulnerable state with you was something he never thought would happen, at least not when you first met anyway. Something about the innocence of sitting with each other, naked in the shower, made him want more than that. He was craving you, in so many different ways.

His impulse control was in overdrive but now, he didn’t want to hurt you, he was supposed to help you clean yourself up. All he could think about, though, was having his way with you. His hands were a little shaky now, trying not to think about grabbing you and pushing you against the wall. That seemed to be the only thought his brain could manage to give him, he was getting frustrated.

“You know, as a werewolf, I can smell many different pheromones, and I-,” you were quickly interrupted before you could finish the sentence.

“Sh-shut the f-fuck up!” Toby practically shouted. “You s-stink and you need h-help showering, let me f-finish helping you.”

“How about I help you after this, then? If I’m not too sore anymore.”

The look on Toby’s face was of pure confusion, “with what?”

You shook your head, “Let’s just finish here first.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Toby caught on a lot quicker than you thought he would, you hadn’t seen him move that fast and sporadic before. He needed you though, and when you offered yourself to him, even with the state you were in, he was not going to let opportunity slip away.

Your healing seemed to be back to a semi-normal speed. All you felt were light aches and any open wound looked like a gnarly scar, but they were closed up and not bleeding. What more could someone ask for?

“What the fuck were you two doing in there?” Brian asked, but quickly took the question back. “You know, don’t actually answer that. You two share way too much information already. Pretend I never asked, I am leaving.”

As Brian walked away, Toby practically dragged you to his room. His excitement was unmatched. He has wanted to do this since you two beat the shit out of each other sparring, which was about three weeks ago. Something about you looking feral unlocked something within him.

The thought of you scraping your sharp canine teeth across his neck, bringing blood to the surface while riding his thigh was something he never knew he wanted or needed. He wanted to be buried deep in your pussy, he wanted to be between your thighs, he wanted, no he needed to have you in every way possible.

Toby couldn’t decide what to do first, his thoughts were racing as you stood behind him while he locked the door. Once it was locked, he turned to you and lost the little bit of composure he had left. He grabbed you and ripped the shirt you had just put on after the shower completely off your body, and pushed you down on his bed.

Now all that was left on you was your panties, his focus wasn’t there yet, though. His kisses were sloppy yet held so much passion. His hands seemed to wander your body as he started kissing down your jaw line and making his way to your collarbone.

A small gasp escaped you when his hands finally found their way to your breasts. The way he squeezed them made you think he’d been waiting for the moment. The way he held onto you in general made you wonder how long he’d been wanting this. You had to admit, you had also been waiting for this, the way Toby had been acting around you, the way his glances started lingering, or how you could hear his heart rate change slightly when he’d see you.

His lips were back on yours now, and he was growing more and more desperate by the second, he whined a little as he started grinding into your thigh. You smirked when you realized how needy he was. He took that as an opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth.

You could tell he didn’t know what to do next, the way he moved, twitched, and whined into the kisses. Pulling away from his lips for a moment caused him to become confused, but when your hands moved down his chest and started pulling at his pants he realized you weren’t trying to get away, you were helping him. A giggle came from you when you saw the look on his face.

“Wh-what? D-did I do something wr-wrong?” He was slightly worried.

As you shook your head, your hands went to his hair and pulled back into a kiss. He seemed to melt into you. He was so rough, even while trying to not be rough, then there was you. So gentle and loving. Despite being some sort of monster, you were just so patient, it drove him crazy, he loved it.

“I, I don’t kn-know what to d-do first.” He stuttered through his kisses.

Deciding to take things in your own hands so he wouldn't have to decide, you flipped him onto his back. His eyes went wide, he forgot about your strength, he was not going to argue though. With you on top, he seemed to be in awe. The way you looked was angelic.

“Are you ready?”

All that came from Toby was a whine as you went to sit on him, but you were going slow, way too slow. His hands grabbed your hips hard enough to bruise you as he forced you down. He started grinding up into you, and moving your hips whichever way he wanted, there was no rhythm, just random thrusting.

Now it was your turn to whine. Your hands rested on his abdomen and your claws started to come out. A growl escaped you, as your hips rocked in a more rhythmic way, syncing with his.. The moans and little growls rumbling through you were almost enough to get Toby to cum then and there.

His grip tightened on your hips as he started controlling your movements again, very sporadically. You didn’t care though, you were close too.

“Toby, I’m…” was all you could manage before a warm feeling came over you and you were orgasming. Your head went back and your eyes shut tight, and with your pussy clenching around his dick as you rocked your hips through your high, Toby quickly found ecstasy after you.

A string of moans and cusses came from Toby as he rode out his high with you still on his dick. He didn't want you to move, not yet. His grip on your hips was so tight by now that his knuckles were white. It felt as if he was making sure this was real.

“F-fuck,” He managed to moan out. “That was s-so much b-better than any of the p-porn I’ve ev-ever watched.”

You giggled again as you rolled from the top of Toby to the side of him. You laid your head on his chest for a moment, just listening to his heart. You gently kissed his cheek, before throwing your legs over the side of his bed and putting on a shirt that was on his floor. You were almost certain it was not a clean shirt, you used it though, just in case Tim or Brian came in and saw you with absolutely nothing on. Not that they would ask you any questions about what you were doing though. They have learned their lesson asking that one too many times. 

“I don’t know how much longer they will be gone, but I have to pee. When I come back-”

“We’re fucking even ha-harder. I have s-so many th-things I want to try wi-with you.” Toby was very serious saying this, but laughed a little, until he heard Tim and Brian walk in through the front door. He wasn’t going to be able to do anything with you now, they would complain about the noise.

Brian was quick to speak as he walked in, “We’re back, please don’t be fucking in my line of sight.”

Tim shook his head at that statement. “I am going to bed, if you are fucking, do it quietly,”

“They are such party poopers. Looks like it’s bedtime at the old folks home. Whatever, you good if I sleep in here tonight? That couch is going to give me tetanus with those rusty springs stabbing me in my ass cheeks.”

Toby looked from you to his bed, and gave you a strange look. “Your bed is way more comfy!”

“H-how do you kn-know that?”

“I take naps in here when you’re out or whatever.” You spoke matter of factly. The two of you stared at each other, unblinking for about ten seconds. Toby sighed, and promptly made a small  space for you.

“D-don't make this a habit.”

“Sleeping in your room? We just fucked in your bed. Shut up.”

[azrielsfavoriteshadow]

Music Parallels between Feysand, Nessian, & Gwynriel

SJM has spoken about the significance of music in her personal life and the importance it holds in her books. We’ve seen it with Bryce in CC and Aelin in TOG. There was not as much of an emphasis on music in ACOTAR until Silver Flames with Nesta, but there is an important example with Feysand.

In ACOTAR, music has been used to share comfort and support from one partner to the other with both Nessian and Feysand. We got a hint of this in the BC with Gwynriel.

You can also listen to my tiktok on this here.

Feysand:

When Feyre is UTM, nearing her breaking point, she hears a faint music unlike anything she’s ever heard before. She states that she was sinking so far, it would take something extraordinary to pull her out.

Then she hears the music. She follows the music and it pulls her out of her cell and frees her in beautiful nature scenery.

It was music that filled the gaps of her soul and brought her to a place where there was no longer any pain.

This music warms her bones and bounces her away from her breaking point as she awaits the next trail. In ACOMAF, we learn that it is Rhysand who sent this music to her. She asks him why and he says it was to save her. To keep her from breaking.

Nessian:

Music is very significant in Nesta’s story. We know it is a reason why she sought out the taverns she went to. Elain tells us it is one of the only times we see the true Nesta. When she is dancing and when there is music playing.

Because of what music means to her, Cassian gifts Nesta a special orb which plays all her favorite music. He went to her favorite taverns and requested they play the music so that he could record it for her. He even got the musicians from the ball to replay the entire set so that he could save it in the orb for her.

This gift is so meaningful to Nesta that it brings her to tears. Music brings her joy and comfort and Cassian had found a way for her to have music always.

With Feysand, Rhysand sends Feyre music to rescue her from a low point.

With Nessian, Cassian gifts Nesta something that can bring her music whenever she needs since music is something she seeks out for comfort.

Gwynriel:

After Azriel’s interaction with Rhysand in the BC, Azriel is at a low. He takes himself outside into the cold so that he can feel nothing anymore. So that he can return to being nothing.

After this, we get his scene with Gwyn in which something restless begins to settle in him. On his way out of the training ring, he enters the warmth of the stairwell and he swears he can hear a faint, beautiful singing following. His shadows sang in answer.

The music is obviously indicated to have come from Gwyn. This is either literally or figuratively. Regardless, it is an exchange of music between Gwyn and Az in a time when he is in need of comfort. He goes from actively seeking out the cold to numb himself to feeling warmth as he leaves Gwyn.

E/riels use this as an example of Gwyn’s “lightsinger powers” manipulating Azriel in some capacity. But the exchange of music from one partner to another who is in need of support and comfort is a reoccurring action in ACOTAR as exemplified in this post with both Nessian and Feysand.

We also learn from his interaction with Gwyn that Azriel himself sings. This is not mentioned in 5 books, but SJM chose to make this reveal in the BC through Gwyn and Az’s interaction.

This is not just some throw away reveal. Singing is a very important part of Gwyn’s story as well and she is the one that gets Azriel to reveal this part of him to the readers. No one else has inquired about this part of him.

After this reveal, SJM gives us more of a peak at Azriel’s enjoyment of music in CC3. This is not coincidental. It is building on the reveal we got in his SF bonus chapter and the connection between him and Gwyn.

Gleeriel is coming home i fear 😌

[danganronpadedication]

DAY 3: DANGANTOBER

Day 3: Favorite THH Character Makoto Naegi is a cutie patootie. End post.

No, but in all seriousness, I love Makoto. I know I spent the majority of last post ranting about how much I love Hajime, but that doesn't mean I love Makoto any less.

I'll be real, I love the THH cast, so it was very difficult to pick a favorite from that group. I was between Celestia, Junko, Byakuya, and Makoto, but Makoto's who I went with. Like with Hajime, I was worried that Makoto would just be an self-insert character, and in-game, he kind of is? But people also misremember him in game. People characterize him all the time as non-confrontational, and just a hopeful, positive person, but he's a lot more nuanced than that.

Let's not forget that Makoto tried to throw hands with Monokuma more than once, that's pretty confrontational to me. While he puts up a front of a positive, hopeful person, he also has his moments of being affected by everything that's happened to him. Seriously, replay the game, he's got a lot more bite to him.

He's the kind of person I'd want to be friends with, he's a very sweet person, who's not afraid to throw down for the people he cares about.

I also really like his sibling relationship with Komaru. If you skipped UDG, I don't blame you, but aside from the obviously weird things happening in that game, there's also a lot of world building and substance. Maybe watch a playthrough, cringe with whoever's playing it, and get that good lore.

You can see it in the anime too, he just lights up when he sees Komaru's transmission go through, because it's confirmation that he still has her around. Up until that point, he wasn't sure if his family was still around, and now he knows he still has his sister. It's very sweet, and the way he has so much faith in her, and knows she's capable to do whatever it is she needs to do.

But it's The End of Hope's Peak anime that really does it in for me, and cements him as one of my favorite characters. I get it, I'm basic. But one of the bigger points I see get brought up about Makoto, is that they don't really explore the trauma that would go along with being in a game like that. Which is false, but it's definitely something the game doesn't really focus on for the sake of plot.

But in the anime, you can really see how much that affects him. Makoto Naegi suffers from survivor's guilt, and it's so incredibly potent. That moment made me so sad, I had to close my computer and actually GO TO SLEEP? That can't be right. Granted, I watched that episode at like, 2AM, but rewatching it in the morning hit just as hard.

Like with Nagito, Bryce Papenbrook really gives his all for Makoto, including in the anime. You hear it all the time, whether he's just giving someone a pep talk, or reacting to the newest death in the game. He's smarter than people give him credit for, like in the fight with Munakata, he figures out his forbidden action and traps him in a situation where he needs to sit down and talk with him, all on his own. I'd say he's more emotionally intelligent, but he's definitely got brains in his little noggin.

Please, I want his Nendoroid so badly. I own a plushie of him in Future Arc, I bought it at a local fair, and he's my prized possession.

On the topic of emotional intelligence, he's very forgiving and compassionate too. One thing you should know about me, is that I love the SDR2 cast, including when they're the Remnants of Despair. They're cool, their designs are cool, and they're CRIMINALLY underused. Makoto is the one who was able to see past the people they had become, and see the hurt people underneath. Most of the world had written them off as despair-laden monsters, but Makoto actually went against the wants of the Future Foundation in order to rehabilitate them.

Even if it causes him issues, Makoto is very caring and will do what's right. His sense of morality is one that is evidently difficult to skew.

And finally, he's a cutie patootie. The rest of this post will be GIFs of him looking adorable.

Lord, let me pinch his cheeks.

-Mod Tsumugi

[lpsgirl109]

This is a post for @just-allovertheplace because they brought up a point on one of my Phin posts and I wish to elaborate

So when I say some of Phin's actions should've been a result of her own ignorance, I dont mean like, all. The attacks against Roxxon should absolutely be done from a place of hate, those fuckees killed her brother and are selling off nuform as a clean energy thing despite Knowing it's harmful. Everything against Roxxon is fine to have been malicious intent

What I mean with that post is I feel there should've been an emphasis on Phin not really thinking about the damage her attacks may cause to innocent people until after the fact. She's not putting civilians in harm's way just for shits and giggles, Roxxon is her first priority and her grief sort of blinds her to how she may be hurting others in the process. The reason I like to add her warning the people at the rally to run is that the fandom Loves using that scene to call Phin a horrible person for putting Rio in danger. And in my honest opinion, some of that can be equated to bad writing, since Phin is sort of all over the place in terms of her actions. I can definitely word this better when I finish my replay of the game but like, there's moments where the narrative villainizes her a bit Too much and it leads to people hating her more than sympathizing with her, which really doesn't work when the point of her arc was to make the player feel bad for her by the end, not cheer for her death.

This is why it works better for me if she's going into these attacks clouded by her own rage and not entirely understanding the consequences until after it has been done. She doesn't want to hurt innocent people, she wants to hurt Roxxon. She just doesn't realize innocent people Did get hurt until the action is already done. And one could say I'm watering her down and making her less evil or some shit, but I also do this because I don't really like how her or the Underground are handled in the game. You have to tread carefully when playing with the "character figting worse character is Doing It Wrong and is therefore just as bad" trope, especially in the context of the 'worse character' being a corrupt rich asshole in charge of a corrupt company who is knowingly making people extremely sick with his product just so he can sell it. And the game uses this trope pretty poorly, with how horrible Phin and the Underground are portrayed. The Underground is a literal terrorist organization and Phin herself shows no care for the people she hurts in the process of taking down Roxxon. She doesn't even care that the Underground is getting sick from handling the nuform, and that's a scene that really Icks me because there are Connotations behind saying the black girl trying to fight a huge corrupt organization that killed her brother has become no better than the white man who owns said organization and just about takes Pleasure in what he's doing. I really hope this is not a hot take and I am not the only one who thinks this.

Anyway, that's largely why in my rewrite, I tone down both Phin and the Underground a bit. If they were the only villains in the game and weren't fighting any sort of higher power, I'd probably be fine with them the way they are. It's the fact that their goal is to stop a large organization from harming the city with their product, and are written as terrorists who don't care about the innocent people they hurt that makes me look at them and go Hm. This was not handled well. At all. It's why in my opinion, Phin works best if her attacks are never meant to hurt innocent people, rather she's sort of in over her head and didn't think about the damage she'd be causing until it was too late. And like this also checks out when you remember she is an 18 year old girl, yeah she's gonna fuck up. Girliepop never even made it to her 20s /ref

Anyway this has been an episode of Peg Speaks

[eastwindmlk]

For day 9 of @jilytoberfest we have another vague continuation of one of my fics! Let's call it recycling! Today we are stepping back into the world of Far Post! A Football AU.

Prompt: Word count: 549

James was very aware of the fact that his team wasn’t the best in the league. Now, they weren’t terrible but after a losing streak after the international break, he’d given up hope for promotion this year. Still, on game night he and his friends he donned his trusty Riverside red, wore the threadbare bucket hat – He was sure that it brought them luck – and settled in.

They’d instated the no phone rule when Peter started dating and subsequently became overly attached to Angie. Constantly grinning at the screen in his hand. Then it was Remus who got addicted to Words with Friends, despite all his real friends being right there in the room.

Only now, James was the one breaking it. Casting furtive glances at his screen whenever the action on the field seemed to lull. Furiously typing away during replays and at half-time. He did not even feel the need to listen to the analysts. Too busy texting.

When James almost missed a goal Peter snatched the phone from where he’d dropped it on the couch to shout and cheer while his team celebrated an equalising goal. The moment his arse hit the pillow his hand reached for the phone and found it not there.

He blinked for a moment, feeling around for it before turning his head. “Anyone seen my phone?”

The three boys looked at each other and shook their heads, blinking innocently in his direction. “Why do you need it?” Remus asked, his eyes drifting back to the screen.

“I want to check for a reply?”

Sirius tutted and he could hear from the tone that he was rolling his eyes. “You just checked your phone three seconds ago.”

James sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, eyes scanning the empty space beside him for a moment before sighing. “I was having a conversation,” he complained, his hand digging between the couch cushions and only finding that they desperately needed to vacuum there. “Lily is watching the game too,” he added, digging one nail under the other to flick the crumbs from between the pillows out from underneath.

“Lily?” Peter asked, frowning while the other two men groaned.

Sirius leaned his head back and groaned when the name was repeated. “The captain from The Broomsticks team,” he clarified in a grumble.

“The chick team?” Peter asked, his brows drawing together.

James clicked his tongue in dissatisfaction and gave his friend a stern side-eye. “I wish you wouldn’t call them that.”

“That’s what they are though.”

“That’s beside the point, Wormtail,” James told him, a sternness creeping into his voice as he said that. “But yes, I am texting Lily, the captain of the Thre Broomsticks team because she is also a Boro fan and she has no one to watch with.

Sirius snorted. “And she looks pretty decent in a bikini too,” he added just loud enough for everyone to hear.

James clenched his jaw, trying not to look as caught as he felt, “Still haven’t found my phone though,” he complained giving Peter a playful glare when he finally handed it back.

“Maybe just invite her to the next game before we have to break out the time lock again,” Peter joked, everyone laughed and James considered it as an option.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Hey I love this one, do you mind turning it into a request? It would be so cool to read something like this

Thorn At My Side

Summary: Dream could not bring himself to like humans, because their nature was cruel, greedy, unchanging, and he made it a point to show you, to take it out on you, despite himself.

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: Dark post caputure!Dream, gender neutral reader, angst, typos, etc.

A/N: 🙄 fine nonnie. the whole point of me not taking that was because idk what to do and didn't feel like writing it because Damn he has contempt for humans but freaking falls in love with one. it's going to bite him in the ass, and reader's going to suffer for it. I racked my brain for this one. enjoy suffering <3 Choochoo the angst train ive been asked to lead ig Tagging: @pinksirensong @deniixlovezelda @shadow-pancake9 Part 2 kinda "Beer"

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you."

"M- I- Why?" I turn to Matthew, face falling in concern, "did something happen to him?"

"He's in one of his moods again," he mutters, "the one where I don't think it wise for a human to be around him."

"Ah," I say, pulling the box in my hands close to my chest.

"And don't take this the wrong way, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with you."

I knit my brows, "with me? What? Why do you say that?"

"Well, a couple of things actually. I-"

I look to the door, the door Dream placed in my apartment that leads into the Dreaming, as it begins to shake. It's as though someone was banging on it from the other side.

Concern flushes all around me. "He asked me to give him this," I tell Matthew, "he must really need it."

"Yeah, but he asked me to accompany him, and yet here we both are in your dingy apartment."

"Hey!"

He flies up to my shoulder, "don't act like it isn't true."

I look at the door, the door that was practically calling out to me to be opened.

Matthew sighs, "look, I know your school girl crush on Dream makes it hard for you to resist, but he's more irritable than you've yet to see him, kid."

I take a moment to debate his words. The next thing I know my hand is on the knob.

Matthew squawks and flutters off me when I move, "hey, don't say I didn't warn ya!"

The next moment, I am in the Dreaming, standing in the middle of the throne room with my shoulders tense.

"Dream?" I call with hesitation.

The sound of the banging on the door replays in my head, and yet it starkly contrasts the silence of the room.

I move towards the empty throne and nibble my lips at the ominous atmosphere, "Dream?"

Out of nowhere, I see him take the box in my hand. It all happens so quickly. Before I even know what's happening, Dream's dark expression fades as sand twists around me.

The next thing I know, I'm back in my apartment.

"Hey," Matthew starts as I take in my surroundings, "I gotta say, he's still got some sense in him cause just- wait- wh- no- NO DONT-"

The Raven's calls go silent once I am in the Dreaming again.

I suck in a breath as I call out, "Dream!"

He turns his dark back to look at me. He still had the box he took from me in his hand.

He is expressionless when he cranes his neck.

I release a breath, "Dream, I-"

His eyes twitches and the entire Dreaming begins to quake. He throws the box to the side, except unlike himself, he does not make it evaporate into a vacuum pocket, he lets it crash down on the floor. Its contents scatter all over with a thud.

My pulse quickens and I do not have the mind to even walk back when he storms over to me.

His form darkens the entire room and he towers over me with harshness all over his being, "insect."

Fear shoots up my spine.

"A true testament to humanity."

I manage a few backward steps.

He leans his face down towards me, "was it not painfully clear to you that I do not want your brazen existence to be near me when I took what I needed from you and brought you out of my domain? Or must I etch it in into a nightmare for you to understand?"

"Dream, please," I squeak like a mouse caught in a trap, "I... I just want to help."

"Help?!"

My body tenses with an electric fear when he grabs my arms in his hands.

"What help can a feeble earthborn, asinine and shameless, ever help the King of Dreams and Nightmares with?"

I whimper at the severity of his tone. I look away as I screw my eyes shut. I gulp, feeling my eyes water, "b-b-but, the box--I- I just helped you-"

"That was meant to distract you," he quips, releasing me, "and keep you away from me." I hear him scoff, "but you are too much of a fool to realize that your presence is not welcome around me."

My breathing is jagged when I finally look at him. Tears are streaking my face and the sight of his flaring anger finally made the fact that, even if I tried, I was powerless against him.

He was angry at me.

And, truly, I was afraid.

"Fear seems to be your best teacher," he speaks accusingly, "will you force yourself back here once I remove annoying being from my domain?"

I rapidly shake my head in disagreement, "I won't ever bother you again, I swear."

He narrows his eyes at this.

"I swear."

"Good," he speaks.

The next moment, he is alone in the middle of his hall.

"What the hell was that?!" Matthew asks as he soars down from a height.

Dream shoots him a dark look, and yet the Raven is undeterred as he croaks loudly, "you just made the only human you actually like swear never to set foot here again?!"

He growls, "I see you would like to join the banishment party."

"Dream!" Matthew grunts as the hall darkens. Quite frankly, Matthew doesn't care, he needs to hear this, "when are you going to admit that you misguided your like into anger?"

"I will never like a human."

"But you do!" Matthew blurts, "Face it! It's painful to admit, but-"

Dream is relieved by the silence. He looks down at the bird, now made of stone, and basks in the silence for a moment. He walks away. He then catches sight of the rubbish on the floor, particularly pink icing that splattered all over.

He nears and catches sight of a handwritten note: My favorite flavor for my favorite Endless.

He burns it, along with the rest of the mess. Dream notices the glittery wrapper of the desert turn into nothing.

Then all at once, he starts. He feels a pain in his chest. It doesn't take long for him to realize an entrance to the Dreaming was being severed from the other side. He grunts and pushes the feeling away.

Good riddance.

He moves about to continue with his business, but then he drops to his knees, the striking pain rendering him immobile. It's so strong that Matthew is freed from his stone trap.

"-if you don't now, you'll only do it when it's too late," Matthew finishes.

[faffreux]

can you tell us about when you fell in love with fawful? :)

Yep. In fact, I'll write a whole mini essay for you so I can add it to the FAQ section of my website coming up shortly LMAO (SINCE I NEED TO FULLY ANSWER THIS QUESTION FOR THERE ANYWAY, RIGHT???) CLICK UNDER THE READ MORE TO SEE IT BECAUSE THIS IS GOING TO BE THE LONGEST THING I'VE EVER POSTED HERE, LMAO.

To preface, I have been a fan of the M&L games going back to the early-mid 2000s when I was a kid. I had no involvement with fandom or anything of the sort back then but I used to hop on my mom's bulky computer and look up fanart and other related content as early as 2004/5 and as a result, ended up captivated by the characters long before I knew who they actually were. (As a result of this, I have the names and art styles of various old M&L fandom creators permanently ingrained in my head and often wonder where they are today since a good deal of them vanished..!) It wasn't until 2006 that I got my first handheld console (DS Lite) and of course, what did I do? Immediately begged my mom to order me a used GBA copy of Superstar Saga. 

When I finally had the game in my hands it was like coming home to a colorful world that I'd been captivated by for so long but never gotten the chance to actually explore until now. The characters felt like old friends and the Beanbean Kingdom as a location felt familiar and comforting to me. (As a side note, Popple quickly became my favorite. Shocker, right?)

I used to sketch various beans in my notebooks as well as on printer paper we had lying around the house. Long story short, I finished Superstar Saga and then a few years later in 2010 I picked up Bowser’s Inside Story and THAT’S WHEN THINGS SHIFTED–

BIS brought Fawful and his personality to life in a way that captivated my imagination like nothing else had prior. He quickly overtook Popple as my favorite character from then on forward… and that’s where it ends! Or.. is it?

Nah, that’s where it gets funky. Life got a little chaotic after that and not only did I stop playing video games altogether for many years, but I also almost completely gave up on art - the one thing I was most passionate about above all and thought I would make a career out of someday. A series of depressing events caused me to lose all hope and motivation for anything I created and the spark I’d kept inside of me for so long all but died out as a result.

We’re going to timeskip again, this time to late 2019. I’d just moved away from home permanently for the first time and had been getting settled in and no matter what I did to make my new apartment a cozy place it always felt like something was missing. My mind would keep wandering to the fact that I never made art anymore despite it having been such a key part of my life when I was younger. I so desperately wanted to change this and over the next few months the frustration only kept growing until on January 1st, 2020, I sat down in the living room with a pencil and paper in my hand and shut my eyes tightly before saying under my breath:

“I do not care what it is, I don’t care how it comes. Just please… PLEASE send me something to bring my art back. Anything… anything at all. I don’t care what I draw, I just want to be drawing again.” And with that, I placed the lead onto the paper and began to sketch…

And from there… a familiar face appeared!

(Now I could ramble to you about how much I do NOT like this drawing and how off model it is from how Fawful actually looks… but I’ll forgive myself since I hadn’t touched the M&L games in over a decade at this point and had forgotten most of Fawful’s character. And yet?? Here he was.)

How else can I explain it except that in that moment it felt like the pencil in my hand had suddenly become one of these:

A joy that I hadn’t felt in SO long suddenly filled my entire being and without wasting another second, I immediately went online and ordered both Superstar Saga and Bowser’s Inside Story to replay again. In the time waiting for the games to arrive I had started drawing daily again - sketching out various old characters of mine with dozens of doodles of the bean man stacked in between them all.

There he was… always smiling, always happy to see me, and oftentimes with his arms outstretched as if to give an encouraging hug. When the games arrived I worked through them quicker than I ever had prior - finishing up Superstar Saga in less than a week and subsequently moving onto Bowser’s Inside Story with a LOT of excitement built up for it. 

It was my first day playing and I was having the time of my life! The way Fawful looked in his little grey cloak with that enormous, charming grin of his as he bamboozled Bowser into eating the Vaccuum Shroom had me giggling with joy while words repeated in my brain over and over of: “I need to draw this later, I NEED to draw this later!!!” I WAS EXCITED ABOUT ART AGAIN… AFTER ALL THESE YEARS. I was practically hopping in my seat from the happiness I felt in my heart and chest every time Fawful appeared at this point!

This was how it felt until the moment I arrived at the Fawful Theatre and watched as he began dancing on the stage floor. THIS time.. something different came over me. If you’ve felt it before, then you’ll know what I mean when I say that it was like my entire body turned warm all at once, like some sort of flame had been lit inside. I’d never felt it for anything or anyone prior to then, and that's partly why it hit me as hard as it did. I was practically sweating.

Heck, I was so absorbed in my feelings that I had forgotten there was anyone else in the room with me! That is.. Until my roommate at the time spoke up: 

Her: Are you alright? Me: Uhhh… yeah, why? Her: You’re red as a beet. Are you sure you’re okay?

By this time I had realized what was really going on so I reassured her I was fine, grabbed my 3DS, and ran to my room to finish the playthrough on my own so I wouldn’t embarrass myself any further, hahaha.

In the days, weeks, and months following that moment I became dedicated to drawing the best art of Fawful I could possibly create! What started as a challenge to myself to ‘give back’ to the person who’d given me back the ability to create again turned into someone I genuinely could not stop drawing for how much fun I was having doing it. The desire to make better and better art in order to honor him drove me to improve at a speed I never had prior, and soon thereafter I created Jolligig as a way for me to be in this colorful world with him and to express the deepening affection I was feeling for him with every day that passed by.

By some miracle, my prayer had been answered and here it was in the form of a grinning lima bean.

[End of Part 1. Interested in the rest? Yes… there’s more, I’m sorry. Please let me know in the comments. This took a while to write so I thought splitting it up would be best if folks are interested, LOL.]

[rachelsnotebook]

Wishes wrapped in Red String

Intertwine by Crescence Studio

Two souls, and an eternity to endlessly intersect. Intertwine lovingly takes the player's hand and leads them through glimpses of these souls' many lives.

You'd be hard pressed to find another game that feels uniquely special from the second the title screen pops up! It wasn't long before I felt a strong wave of emotion wash over, as noted during my first playthrough:

And it was gentle. Van and the player character's stories were worth every minute I spent playing (and replaying, and replaying...). How could anyone not latch onto that hope of finding your soulmate?

Intertwine is broken up into four short sections. Each one gives the player a satisfying taste, but it will leave you feeling greedy for so much more!

I love this game exactly how it exists, but I'd be lying if I didn't selfishly wish there were several more tales. For now, I'll just happily leave things to my wild imagination.

Reasons to Love:

- The writing reads like your new favorite book. The stories you'll find are charming, hopeful, laugh out loud funny, and romantic.

- Van might be my soulmate trapped in a visual novel for this lifetime...

I swiftly fell for his charm, and felt like a clown when the game called me out on my own cheesiness.

- I can't praise the voice acting enough! The subtle differences to each lifetime's Van was always filled with personality. The performance brought him to life and transformed these stories into very real feeling conversations.

- The replay loop mechanic was exciting. Each time back at the title screen felt like a treat. Where would Van and the playable character meet next?

- I adored the visual design of Intertwine's title screen from the start. As I learned the flow of the game it became clear that it also held a fun secret. That mechanic was delightful and unexpected. And also incredibly fun!

- As Van once said... "Fuck, this is embarrassing."

So, I think every CG scene got a surprised gasp out of me. The artwork is so lovely to stare at. There wasn't a single moment where I wasn't impressed!

- I know I already pointed out how special the writing is, but I need to throw extra confetti praise over the banter. This is probably my personal favorite aspect of Intertwine. The banter is so well done!

There's a lifetime where the player and Van are coworkers who hate each other, and then briefly worm their way into each other's hearts. I adored this change, and the chance at being a bit mean. There's something thrilling about a love that bloomed from a seed planted in frustration.

I would share some of my favorite lines from that lifetime, but I'm afraid that I would end up with 80% of that section posted here. I took so many screenshots.

~~~

Intertwine came out swinging and hit a home run. Now I could be biased as a hopeless romantic, but this is my blog. It's safe to say that Intertwine leaves a lasting impression and going straight onto my Best Games of 2023 list!

This piece was originally posted on July 19th, 2023 at rachelsnotebook.wixsite.com

[boxdstars]

here's a fun question: if Amara was an NPC in the game, what kind of side quest would she have for the MC??

I’ve put much thought into this actually, so this ask was perfect timing!

Basically, as Amara wouldn’t be a werewolf during the events of the game yet, her plotline doesn’t focus on that one bit. I’ve brought it up vaguely in passing before, but I’d actually like for her to be a hidden boss post Ranrok. Because in my canon, she’s the previous Champion, seemingly MIA during your stint in the tournament. Though various NPCS would make comments about her in passing.

There are several things that irk me about this game, one being the lack of consequences and two, the difficulty. The combat is fun but by a certain point it’s mindless. So, in this hypothetical I want Amara to be an actual test of skill, no ancient magic, no curses, no items, no potions. A straight up duel, with her being at the max level cap (40) and only available to duel at normal or hard difficulty.

You’d find her post-Ranrok, in the clock tower where Lucan stands in the daytime. I’ve actually thought about her dialogue up until this point, but nothings finalized. All I know is she says “Let’s dance.” before the duel begins, all smug about it but surprisingly serious.

If you’ve played Undertale, then the best way I can put it, is that it’s a sans-esq fight, meaning it’s supposed to be hard. It’s supposed to catch the player off guard and make them go “??? wtf was that” right from the beginning. I imagine it employs the rhythm technique from the training dummy, with perfect precision.

If you win, through many valiant attempts, you a really cool outfit, which I of course, haven’t decided on yet. Maybe a dope cloak with all sorts of insignia on it, i’ll sort that out later. She also can be spoken to after that, and summoned as a companion via mods. You’d have her respect after that, though she’d still be adament to keep coming back for more, with slight variations upon repeat attempts, to increase replay value (another thing the base game sorely lacks).

In a hypothetical DLC, where I’d guess every character gets some new questlines, she could teach you a new spell. Something questionable probably. Reducto, is my personal go-to.

[breakfastteatime]

hope you don't mind the rant but argh i finally realised why i feel so disconnected to survivor in comparison to how close jfo is to me

spoilers for those who haven't played survivor

but i really dislike major decisions made and i'm gonna babble on a little (i've had like eight panadol and two sleeping meds as of the last hour n a half so if this doesn't make sense that's why)

one that's been swirling around my head ever since i played us that it really felt like they brought cordova back JUST to kill him off. this also ties into my next point that i find bode's betrayal hard to believe as well. every role he had in the story could easily be replaced by someone such as cere, and i felt like the only reason he was there was to have someone for bode to kill to show how really evil he was but respawn didn't want to kill any of the main cast off. he's such a useless character in the plot that killing him off didnt effect anything LMAO

my next major dislike is, understandably, about bode :,) yes i know this can come off as making excuses for a character i was attached to since the trailers dropped but the more i think about it the more i really cannot understand both the timeline and the motive that was behind bode's betrayal. i kind of get the idea he was lax about betraying them UNTIL cal mentioned using tanalorr for the hidden path but according to the echoes you get after the game bodenis plotting and scheming the whole time... plus, you think that his whole motive relies on creating a safe place for kata on tanalorr where no one can find them but also like. you have two (technically three) jedi, a nightsister, and a whole clan of anchorites that kick the empire's ass every day. "will you be able to protect her when the empire comes?" fuckass have you SEEN cal use a lightsaber?? kata is safer with cal then she is bode

dagan was hella underwhelming too which disappointed me tbh i was excited for this high republic jedi to show us all this cool stuff only for him to die in like three seconds 😔

ANYWAY i hope this ain't too long but i'd love to hear your thoughts/criticisms on js bc i love the game and all the little bits are amazing but some of the decisions made have me a bit hrghh

Okay, friend, you asked for it ;)

The decision to bring back Cordova was an unexpected one, but the sight of him makes me cry happy tears every damn time, so it doesn't bother me at all. I take your point re: Cere being able to do everything he does, but part of Bode’s betrayal also hinges on him betraying Cere to Vader, who clearly wants vengeance after Nur (which is SO IN CHARACTER for Vader I can only lol. Petty bitch.), so Bode killing her wouldn't have had quite the same impact.

Because I was so convinced he was dead that him *actually* being dead didn’t strike me as ‘brought back only to die’. I would argue that killing him off did put them at risk of not being able to reach Tanalorr and defintely drove Cal to Nova Garon, but yes… Cordova's character probably lacks development and definitive purpose compared to the others… Although even as I say that, I find myself thinking of the logs he left behind in the various ruins on Jedha and the words of advice and I just can’t get mad. Plus there's that teeny hint that he's been unwell when Merrin asks how he's feeling. I see your points, yes, but I'm not too fussed by any of it.

Moving onto Bode...

So, here’s my interpretation of Bode, based on the post-game echoes and the little nuances that take on a totally new light on a replay. Bode is playing Cal from the very beginning. They are never friends from Bode’s perspective, and he is a master manipulator. He’s a textbook abuser – he lovebombs Cal with compliments and praise to cement their relationship, and does the same with everyone in his family. Plus, he used his knowledge of Cere’s location to further his cause with the Empire.

There’s also a power dynamic at play here because Bode was a Jedi Knight during the war while Cal was still a Padawan. Bode is older and more experienced with the world than Cal. He knows Cal longs for friendship, and he wields that against him more effectively than any weapon. Every action, every word, every choice Bode makes is solely to dig in deeper with Cal so he can and Kata can escape the Empire. Had Cal agreed that Tanalorr would just be for them, *maybe* Bode wouldn’t have betrayed him the way he did, but Bode is well on his way to the dark side because of his attachment to Kata. And Cal very nearly follows him because of his attachments to his family.

To me, this is what the Jedi Order meant by 'no attachments'. Jedi are allowed to love, but when that love becomes all consuming, when it becomes an obsession, that’s when the attachment becomes dangerous. Bode’s story is very similar to Anakin’s, he’s just not as powerful. Hasn’t got those Skywalker genes 😉  

Bode’s motive to me is clear – he *thinks* everything is about Kata, but actually it’s all about him. It’s about his grief and rage and fear because of his wife's death the terrible choices he made. Denvik promises that if Bode gives him what he wants (Cal and Cere), he will reveal which Inquistor murdered his wife. Bode is already in it for revenge, not his daughter's wellbeing. His choices are very pre-meditated. He is a parent, yes, and I can understand that overriding love of a child, but he is also a grieving husband who is so broken by his loss that his love for Kata has become too possessive. He is terrified of losing his daughter, and it eclipses his love for her. Kata is aware of this, and her love is also turning to fear. Bode is neglectful (he's always leaving Kata behind) and bordering on abusive at the end. He trusts no one but himself, and he even asks Cal at the very end if he can protect Kata. Cal says nothing because he knows he can’t – he’s tried protecting so many people, and he’s lost nearly all of them. He won’t make a promise he can’t keep, and that’s what completely breaks Bode. Bode doesn’t believe anyone *but him* can protect Kata because he has become completely consumed with fear and anger. Cal gave him a chance to make a better choice when he disarmed him. In fact, Bode had *so many chances* to make a better choice, and he didn’t. So, when Bode responded by choosing to try and kill Cal, Merrin *and* very nearly his own daughter, Cal had no choice but to put him down – hard. That second shot took my breath away both times I played the game because Cal knows he cannot save Bode and protect the people who matter, and by showing Bode mercy, more people will die. It's also about control - Bode tries to control everyone. Cal knows he can't, so he takes the only option left - killing Bode. Honestly, the more I think about that finale, the more intense it becomes. It's an astonishing moment.

I do wonder if the reason people struggle with Bode is because he is so nice, and he fits in so well, but it’s all fake and it’s all an act. Whether you saw it coming or not, that hurts. Cal – and the player – want so badly for Bode to be better than he is, and that’s the tragedy. Bode’s not capable of that. He has suffered losses just like Cal, but he couldn’t overcome them. It’s a lot to deal with emotionally!

And as for Dagan, I quite like him! Mostly because that final battle with him incorporates my favourite Star Wars thing – WEIRD FORCE SHIT. He’s also a mirror held up to Cal – this is what you could become if your obsession takes over you. I also think his relationship with Santari Khri is meant to show Cal the potential pitfalls of his relationship with Merrin if his attachment overcomes him… but we’ll have to see what happens next…

Gosh this got long. It's always fun to see other people's perspectives and share my own! Hope you've got some rest and feel better soon :)

[strangefellows]

Okay this is gonna be a long post but I figured why the hell not throw my absolute fucking lunatic conspiracy board Limbus Company theory out there, because I’ve had four people tell me it makes sense when I’ve brought it up to them, so! Here we go. Theory: I believe that Dante is Ayin (a main character of the first ProjMoon game, Lobotomy Corp, for those who don’t know). There’s a metric asston of evidence in just the first few chapters alone that keeps making me lie on the floor and scream, so let me document it! 

We’re going under a cut for length, let’s get started! Heavy spoilers for Lobotomy Corporation and Ruina under here, be warned.

The Song: First of all, just looking at the lyrics to In Hell We Live, Lament has me absolutely losing my fucking mind. We’re looking at insane lines like “I walked down a path / Leading to the past / Stole from the tree's hands / A regretter's friend / The forbidden fruit” and “If you wanted me to speak / If you wanted me to think / If you wanted me to carry on our dreams / Each loop we live through / The standards inside me / Thе line I drew for me / Lowers to the earth” and “Why'd you make my voice stutter? / Why do truths never matter? / Why'd you curse me with "you're a natural born genius"?” and “Replayed thoughts / Forget me not / I'm inside the empathic light / I bite off your skin / Exposing the angels on your ribs” and just...the repeated mention of loops. The song basically reads literally like Ayin himself singing it to Carmen. (The ending song also feels suspicious lyrically as well, but I can’t pin that down as easily.)

The Prologue: Not as much here, but I find it extremely suspicious that they didn’t show us a damn thing of Dante until after he loses his head and his memories. And honestly, Faust and Vergilius going ‘your name is Dante’ feels very blatantly like a goddamn lie. An amnesiac is gonna accept whatever you tell him is his name, man. Not to mention that he’s explicitly someone very important (Vergilius says so in ch3), and clearly knows something the bad guys desperately want. Which ties to my next point.

The Bad Guys: First of all, they want the Golden Boughs, which as apparently ‘pieces of L Corp’s Singularity’, are a very nice way to say they’re probably literally pieces of Carmen somehow. Branches sure look like the central nervous system, huh. Second, one of the trio in the intro refers to their boss as a ‘her’, says she wants to do something that’s ‘not illegal, but has never been done before’, and IIRC, calls her the Serpent. Now, looking at that serpent reference alongside Carmen’s existing parallels to WhiteNight, as well as Adam and his constant talk of the forbidden fruit...you see what I’m getting at here? Who tempted Adam in the first place?

The Inferno: Now, you see, even if the big bad is somehow Carmen in some way -- similarly to how the Voice led Argalia in Ruina, perhaps? -- that doesn’t necessarily mean Ayin is Dante. HOWEVER! Look back at the Inferno itself, the poem we’re working off extremely heavily. What is the purpose for Dante’s trip to hell? Beatrice. Dante’s dead girlfriend who’s become a divine being. Literally, Beatrice sent Virgil to guide Dante through hell and limbo and shit to bring him to her, roughly speaking. So, uh, looks at the whole dead now divine gf thing. Hm. Yeah. And where is our own trip to hell taking us? Through the ruins of Lobcorp, grabbing what are more or less pieces of Carmen, and I can’t remember if it’s said outright or not but there is a heavy ass chance this trip is ending at the main facility. Which, coming full circle...

The Clock: I will politely resist making a Hokma joke. But you have to admit it’s funny. In all seriousness, though, the fact that Dante’s power is resetting -- something that the entire gameplay of Lobotomy Corp and a major aspect of the plot was built around, resetting and looping and bringing the dead back to life -- is a major sus factor. In fact, I’m just waiting for someone to say ‘death is meaningless’ if I’m not just blanking on dialogue and someone’s said it already. Not to mention, the aspect of Dante feeling the pain of the injuries/deaths he’s rewinding gives me a lot to say about the (fairly canon) interpretation of Ayin martyring himself using the loops to punish himself for what he did. Suffering how the people he’s tied to suffered, so to speak. In fact -- I wouldn’t be surprised if the clock is/was Ayin’s EGO like the Library is Angela’s. How else would it be immediately to hand to slap on his neck, and what else could possibly have been able to legitimately replace his goddamn head on such short notice?

Manager: LOOK, THIS ONE IS TENUOUS BUT WHEN ADDED TO THE PILE-- the simple fact that Dante is deliberately given the title of manager feels important, when looked at through the lens of the rest of the evidence. There’s a line at the beginning of Chapter 1 when the children Sinners start fighting where Dante goes “Should I step in? Is this the part where I exercise my authority as the manager with dignity and grace? A faint memory urges me to do something." and it feels significant.

Random additional note: The Mirror Dungeons Wellcheers event has Dante say it ‘feels familiar’ -- does it? Does it now, Dante? 

While I’m still going through the game myself - middle of ch2 - I’ve had the whole story told to me, so I know what’s up, and though there’s probably more small bits I’m missing, the major beats here are definitely enough to support my theory for sure. It feels very right and fitting.

I’m just sitting here with several tinfoil hats and my ConspiracyBoard.gif going GUYS I SWEAR, THIS MAKES SENSE and losing it silently. I hope I’m right. I mean if I’m not right I’m making an AU fic anyway, but I hope I’m right. What do y’all think?

[ghostingcrows]

My final thoughts on restoration is that

It was ass

Objectively bad season and I'm kinda disappointed since I was SO excited that Burnie was coming back to write

But it has its moments

I think the SMALL bits of Tucker were good and him fighting the Meta and being forced to go through The Horrors for 10 years in a simulation was neat and probably the best part because of his pained little "I'm sorry...I'm sorry"

Church and Tex continue to be a high point and idk why it took me so long to make the connection that Caboose brought Tex back instead of Church but realizing had me so excited and her being the one who decides to let go this time and finally being able to win and succeed just this once was a nice ending for her and Church

Plus them doing a replay of the scene where Church helped her move on but its her turn to do it for him and she takes his hand and walks with away with him got me

It had me feeling so many emotions

Other than that all the characters felt very rushed and out of character and it was strange

I will say as much as I don't like post season 13 stuff I think that Griffs "I...don't like you guys" getting retconned is kinda tragic

I think I like the way that plotline went with him more than this one

Overall its an objectively bad season but the nostalgia bait fucking won and it still made me feel pretty emotional

And again

Them playing Vale Deah as the song to play us out was fucking FOUL