#this playthrough is so old it started before I knew I'm a girl

[claristhegirl]

And there we have it! After 7 1/2 years, I've finally completed Birthright Lunatic difficulty!

Some backstory: When I originally played Revelation in early 2016, I had already completed Birthright and Conquest on Hard, and decided my first [and only] Revelation playthrough would be on Lunatic as I was already familiar enough with the game. After finishing Revelation, I started Lunatic playthroughs of both Birthright and Conquest, but as Birthright is the relatively easy game I added some extra restrictions:

No grinding.

No My Castle use. This meant I was limited only to items obtained during chapters as I couldn't buy anything from shops.

No statbooster use (…I think, I'm not entirely sure I didn't use any back in 2016 but I had a ton in my inventory, so).

No paralogues, though that's mainly because of how offputting I find the entire kids setup in Fates to be.

Conquest didn't get very far, only reaching Chapter 10 (I'll just start over completely eventually). Birthright made it to Chapter 16; I don't remember why exactly I stopped playing, though the opening of Ch16 is a bit overwhelming.

And so the playthrough lay dormant for nearly 7 1/2 years. But a bit over a week ago, thanks to a friend I was wanting to play some 3DS FE again, and so I picked up this playthrough again and got through the rest relatively easily with the help of over 7 years of additional FE experience.

Finishing this playthrough has really rubbed in how much it feels like Birthright doesn't stand on its own at all. Where are enemy skills? Why are the changes in difficulty level basically just "more enemies"? Why is the hyped up near endgame battle against Corrin's brother so incredibly simple with him "holding back"? Why is the final boss's position so close to the start making it an incredibly easy 1 turn with a bit of setup? The answer to all of these is "because Conquest is the opposite". The game wouldn't be designed like this if Conquest didn't exist. Birthright was basically advertised as the game for fans of Awakening, but a standalone Awakening followup likely wouldn't be like that. It makes the game not feel whole, I guess.

But regardless, it's still Fire Emblem, and Fates does have some really fun gameplay systems (albeit overly complicated at times, which is ironic in how they're all shared with the "simple" game Birthright). I'm glad I finally came back to this playthrough and had a good time with it.

Character and chapter info:

Corrin (238 Battles / 132 Victories) Girl

Oboro (206 Battles / 127 Victories) She was my best physically defensive unit, making her incredibly valuable. I'm surprised her battle count managed to barely surpass Ryoma's. Also, Girl.

Ryoma (202 Battles / 188 Victories) lol. Just… lol. What an absolutely utterly absurd unit. He did a fantastic job of being the emergency delete button for large groups of enemies.

Hinoka (156 Battles / 70 Victories) I'm surprised she's that high, but I suppose her ability to solo Magic enemies across several rounds of combat helped with that. She ended up fairly weak but good for support with her personal and Rally Speed.

Kaze (154 Battles / 99 Victories) Kaze's damage output always disappointed me, but his shuriken debuffs and massive Res ensured he got a bunch of use regardless.

Setsuna (108 Battles / 88 Victories) I had high hopes for Setsuna, as she was decently above average on Strength at promotion… but then proceeded to get only a single point of Str in the next 13 levels after that. She'll always hold a special place in my heart though, for this absurdly unlikely moment back from my 2016 portion of the playthrough:

1 / 250. She just happened to be standing adjacent while Kaze was weakening Camilla, and she got the 1 / 250 chance of finishing off Camilla instantly. This particular moment made this specific playthrough mean a lot to me, which is a big part of why I resumed it from Ch16 instead of starting over. (This picture was taken on April 5th 2016)

Orochi (105 Battles / 74 Victories) My only primary Magic user, her terrible speed meant I didn't use her as much as I would've liked to. I'm very glad I decided to promote her with my somewhat limited Master Seals before Chapter 19 though lol, I did not remember the gimmick of that map beforehand at all.

Takumi (100 Battles / 74 Victories) Fujin Yumi sure is good. He was slower than I'd like, given I almost always had to augment his speed whenever I needed him to do something.

Jakob (100 Battles / 55 Victories) Jakob was reclassed into a Paladin sometime before Chapter 16, before I resumed this playthrough. I don't know if I knew back then that, with my restrictions, it was the only Heart Seal I was gonna get lol. I didn't use him for combat much after resuming the playthrough, but he was a nice support unit thanks to Gentilhomme and Shelter.

Silas (80 Battles / 59 Victories) His main role was Pair Up and Shelter support for most of the later game. It was really funny the few times where I had him do a chip attack and he activated Luna, which I always forgot about.

Kagero (80 Battles / 57 Victories) Much stronger than Kaze, but her even worse defense and significantly worse Res meant she was too fragile a lot of the time. Her main legacy is unfortunately costing me two Chapter 25 attempts (one at the very end) due to very stupid mistakes on my part.

Scarlet (64 Battles / 47 Victories) My only axe unit, her Hammer was incredibly useful late game. She mostly was a very useful support unit thanks to Rally Defense.

Saizo (30 Battles / 17 Victories) I brought him in on Chapters 22 and 26/27 when the game gave me an extra deployment slot and I needed a filler unit for it.

Shura (17 Battles / 9 Victories) A prepromote gotten right after the game gives you another deployment slot, he had a nice role as an extra healer and a 3 range attacker with the Spy's Yumi only he could use.

Sakura (3 Battles / 0 Victories) Very useful support unit between her healing, personal skill and Rally Luck. Due to being unable to buy Staves with my restrictions, I couldn't grind experience by mindlessly healing; combined with my bad habit of never wanting to promote early, she didn't actually promote until Endgame (at Level 18) where it didn't matter anymore. She would have to be an Onmyoji to actually attack, though, as I had no E rank bows she could use as a Priestess.

Azura (2 Battles / 0 Victories) My Azura was absurdly strength blessed, capping Str and Spd pretty early. Super annoying that she was strictly a support unit who only saw combat from occasional Dual Strikes, lol. But as a support unit she sure was fantastic. Her personal was very useful for healing without using staves.

Turn counts and MVPs: Prologue: 2 (None) Chapter 1: 5 (None) Chapter 2: 6 (Corrin & Jakob) Chapter 3: 13 (Corrin & Jakob) Chapter 4: 26 (Corrin & Kaze) Chapter 5: 110 (Corrin & Azura) …I assume I did a ton of Azura grinding here. Chapter 6: 2 (Corrin & Kaze) Chapter 7: 12 (Corrin & Jakob) Chapter 8: 9 (Rinkah & Silas) Chapter 9: 10 (Jakob & Silas) Chapter 10: 17 (Corrin & Kaze) Chapter 11: 15 (Corrin & Kaze) Chapter 12: 7 (Jakob & Kagero) Chapter 13: 9 (Silas & Kagero) Chapter 14: 14 (Silas & Orochi) Chapter 15: 15 (Corrin & Jakob)

Chapter 16: 16 (Hinoka & Ryoma) The first chapter after I returned to this playthrough. The first two turns were a bit overwhelming, but the rest wasn't bad once I decided to let Ryoma do Ryoma things. It was weird having a time limit here before the thieves reach the treasure, only for this kind of objective to never come up again for the rest of the game; kinda set some false expectations as my first chapter back.

Chapter 17: 28 (Takumi & Kagero) Pretty easy, the villages were a bit scary as I didn't know where the enemies would come from but not actually bad when I completely surrounded them with my own units first.

Chapter 18: 3 (Jakob & Orochi) Easy 1 turn but I spent a couple more turns to get the items from Odin and Niles.

Chapter 19: 14 (Corrin & Orochi) I totally forgot about this chapter's weird stat gimmick beforehand; sure made for an easy chapter though I would've had much more trouble without a promoted Orochi.

Chapter 20: 7 (Orochi & Ryoma) Another very easy map.

Chapter 21: 42 (Azura & Silas) Just about the end of the super easy maps as it's the last map where enemies don't charge at you before you're in their range.

Chapter 22: 18 (Corrin & Jakob) Had to get used to enemies coming for me unprovoked now; from this point on I started leaning on Ryoma hard.

Chapter 23: 47 (Corrin & Ryoma) Okay what the hell this chapter?? Such an absurd difficulty spike. I deployed only 8 units, then put them all in 4 pairs in the 4 tile wide hallway to the left so they all avoided Camilla's corridor attack.

Ryoma/Corrin were on the left and took out most enemies.

Kaze/Hinoka were the middle left, Hinoka there as a healer, switching to Kaze when there were bow units around; they were left unequipped to bait a magical ranged attacker that could do no damage and would block the only 1 range tile that could reach Ryoma, letting him slowly pick off every 1 range enemy that surrounded the area.

Shura/Jakob were the middle right. Shura was very nice as a healer with better defenses than my other healers so he could take a ranged attack. Jakob was there in case I needed his support skills.

Oboro/Silas were on the right, tanking anything that came that way as best as I could. Despite much fewer enemies, she had much more trouble than Ryoma did.

Once all the moving enemies and reinforcements were gone, Corrin and Ryoma cleared up the rest of the map, while a few units stayed in the right column to keep Camilla's attention there.

Chapter 24: 26 (Hinoka & Setsuna) So many enemies. So many enemies…. So many enemies………. Not that hard, just long and tedious since I was going for a full rout.

Chapter 25: 55 (Corrin & Scarlet) This chapter was super annoying as I failed two attempts due to very stupid mistakes. The first, I was near the end of the reinforcements, I carefully set up my units to bait two of the four incoming enemies at the edge of their range… And I totally forgot to move Ryoma. So he was left in range of 4 enemies, all having Weapon Triangle Advantage against him, without a pair up or any rallying. And he barely survived!! I thought that would be the end, but Ryoma is too good and Vantage came through. …..And then the VERY NEXT TURN I made the exact same mistake of forgetting to move a unit, except this time it was Kagero who got OHKO'd by a 100% hit attack. The second, I reached the very end. I set up all my units so that each of the 6 enemies in the row at the top would attack one unit each… And I didn't bother to do all of the combat math because I assumed everything would be fine, and Kagero got exactly OHKO'd. Super frustrating mistakes on my part. The beginning was pretty funny, with waves of 6 enemies attacking from the left and right each turn for the first 6 or so turns. Most of my units worked together to take out all the units on the right; Ryoma (with a pair up partner and some rallies) took out every enemy on the left. There being enemies with Entrap was scary, until I realized they couldn't actually warp me anywhere that Ryoma couldn't handle easily.

Chapter 26: 19 (Jakob & Oboro) Went for a full rout instead of the comically easy 1 turn. You don't even get anything for it aside from a Sun Festal pretty close to the start.

Chapter 27: 34 (Silas & Oboro) A large part of the map was [Enemy group moves on the left] Okay Ryoma, go to the left. [Enemy group moves on the right] Okay Ryoma, go to the right. [Enemy group moves on the left] Okay Ryoma, go to the left. I had the game crash once mid-chapter; I entered a battle animation, but the character models failed to load and several seconds later the game gave up. That was a super annoying way to fail an attempt. .-.

Endgame: 1 (Corrin & Kaze) Spent way more time than I needed to setting things up due to not wanting to redo Chapter 27 if I failed. My setup was:

Sakura tries using a Hexing Rod because lol

Corrin moves up

Azura dances Corrin

Kaze is paired with Jakob (+1 move), moves above Corrin, transfers Jakob to Corrin, then attacks the boss with the Spy's Shuriken + a Corrin Dual Strike

Oboro and Ryoma are Rescued closer to the boss

Oboro attacks to activate Seal Defense

Corrin attacks

Ryoma attack with a Corrin Dual Strike

The result was that Sakura missed with her Hexing Rod, but Ryoma wasn't even needed as Corrin finished off the boss herself.

[autopotion]

For the gaming asks: 5, 12, 21 and 40?

5. Most memorable gaming moment?

HMM.... That is such a difficult question, it's really hard to pick! I think my answer to this is going to be an emergent moment, as opposed to a scripted plot event. Also I think I'm going to pick something recent lol, because I'd really have to sit and think about it if I was flipping through my entire video game history. So, how about a couple of little memorable moments from the last month or so?

Here's one. In Gravity Rush 2, I found an NPC busking. I stopped by him and applauded, then I used the sing emote. The guy dropped his guitar and started clapping for me! My jaw dropped, I was like, that was so cute, what a reactive sequence of events! (GR2 is full of pleasant surprises like that, and is my favorite thing about the game.)

I've also had a lot of memorable moments in my current Final Fantasy Tactics challenge playthrough, too. Outside of the hat guy stealing Gafgarion's sword and teleporting everywhere with Silky, I encountered an enemy Oracle in a random battle in Grog Hill, alongside a bunch of monsters. Since this is an invitation-only run, I had my eyes peeled for job classes I didn't already have (I also have the stipulation that any unit I invited has to keep their default job), so this Oracle was very attractive to me. When I got her in my party, I discovered she actually had more levels in Mediator than Oracle--which kinda makes sense, if you think about it on a mechanical level, because Mediator is the job that allows units to talk to monsters. Grog Hill is also located right near the largest battles of the War of the Lions, and we've encountered deserters there before. Zoe and I came up with a little backstory for her that was like, she used to be a Mediator with one of the armies, but got sick of the war and ditched, befriended some monsters in the countryside, and went Buddhist. (I find I'm creating a lot of interesting tiny narratives in my head for my generics in this run.)

12. Favorite game character?

How am I supposed to pick!!! My favorite characters are almost always from video games LMAO. I'll just name a couple.

Protagonist: Sissel (Ghost Trick) or Red & Mr. Nobody (Transistor) Party member: Aeris/th (FFVII & FFVIIR) NPC helper: Leliana (DAI) Antagonist: Tokiko Shigure (AITSF:NI) Of all time probably: Ovelia (FFT)

21. A game you thought you wouldn't like, but ended up loving?

Oh my gosh, I think the obvious answer to this one is also a recent pick, lol. I usually don't play games I'm expecting to dislike, true, but it does happen, especially if I'm just curious to test something out, or if I feel like I have to play it for whatever reason. Crimson Shroud is an example of the latter. Like, as a lover of Yasumi Matsuno and the other usual suspects he works with (like Basiscape), I felt like I owed it to myself to give Crimson Shroud a try, as the entry of his that I knew the least about, and especially because it's genuinely difficult to play it these days, so the game preservationist in me was like You Gotta.

But it seemed like everything I'd heard about it was designed to put me off. The oversexualized teenage girl. The fantasy oppressed ethnic group. The fact that the two main guys are named "Giauque" and "Lippi." The old and tired D&D tropes played completely straight. The fact that it was originally intended as a spiritual successor to Vagrant Story, a game that I admire specifically for its genre bending and cinematography, when Crimson Shroud wasn't doing the first thing, and, as for the latter, its characters are presented as static tabletop models... so I couldn't expect the kind of vibrant staging that Vagrant Story had. The dense mechanics (yes, I know that's a mainstay, but I do also have a habit of bouncing off of his games as well lol).

AND YET. While I still think it's probably Matsuno's weakest entry, it totally charmed me. I mean, you've read what I think about it already, but still. I think it was totally worth the playthrough, and it's got just as much charm as everything else he's written. I appreciated the dense mechanics much more because of the short playtime, and the tabletop figurines were genuinely interesting to look at, in the end. They were staged in amusing ways. YEAH. I DUNNO. I kinda like Crimson Shroud a lot.

Oh! I think another recent one is Misericorde. As someone who was never into visual novels growing up, I've become way more open-minded to them over the years (thanks to Zoe introducing me to Zero Escape tbh) and I was actively interested in the Nun Game, but I was admittedly frustrated when I belatedly realized that there was going to be no gameplay at all, not even basic exploration or a handful of dialogue options, outside of clicking through the text boxes. Partway through I was like "I don't think this is working for me." But after I got to the end, I found I couldn't stop thinking about it. Hedwig in particular really stuck with me. I'm actually extremely excited for the next entry, even if it's "just" reading. I know what I'm getting into this time, so I won't have any false expectations from the start, and I can enjoy it for what it is.

40. Best game cover art.

INTERESTING QUESTION..... Hmm..... I really like the cover for Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together, and had a lot of fun trying to figure out who the characters were. Vyce running away in the background is also unintentionally hilarious. Her Story's cover is extremely clever once you figure out what's going on there. Zoe rightly pointed out that the Japanese Switch cover for Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age is gorgeous. I also like the covers of Final Fantasy Tactics: The War of the Lions, Great Ace Attorney Chronicles, Pyre... I guess for the most part I really like a well-made character ensemble cover??

[junkdrawernoggin]

Decided if I'm going to talk about my baby girl more I might as well post photos. She has a little bit of a different haircut now, and I had to jump back so the photo at the top left is going to be replaced. But yeah, this is my girl Talryne - Seldarine Drow, oath of the ancients paladin. Her name theoretically means both "Pain Blooded" and "Knower of Love". How accurate that is depends on VERY old information from WotC. I call her baby girl a lot for some reason, the way one talks to a cat who is about to step onto a stove.

Backstory and randomness below cut. SLIGHT mention of sexual trauma. ALSO, spoilers for up until the end of act 2

My dad has the entire Drizzt Do'urden series that I started reading as a kid, so I was psyched to see Drow as a race option. However, that does mean all of my information about Drow Society is Menzoberranzan-based. So Talryne is about 92. She is the second-born daughter of one of the upper houses (I haven't decided which). She has an older sister and an older brother. She was fully initiated as a cleric of Lloth, but the graduation ceremony was very traumatizing to her (I won't say what it entails but TW dubious consent sex if you look it up). Her brother also accidentally cut her face after that ceremony which led to him almost being killed by their house matron. She made an oath to him to protect light where she finds it, which is how she became a paladin. After that she left, spending a year in the upper underdark. Unfortunately, she was only on the surface for something like a month before the nautiloid.

There's a photo of her dancing with Wyll and just for clarification, she is in a relationship with Astarion. I hadn't had Wyll in my group since the tiefling party, but this scene triggered randomly in Act 2. However, it was cute so I did take a couple of photos. Plus, it finally pushed her and Astarion into being official which was a big win.

To be perfectly honest, she ended up with Astarion completely on accident. I did this run almost completely blind up until getting to the town in act 2. For some reason romancing him without the guide went a lot better than using it. I've played Tally as having a pretty solid moral compass which just happens to be very okay with killing who she deems "bad". Right now, I just got back to the mindflayer colony and I'm at 92 with him. Genuinely clueless except I did purposefully go back and let him kill the monster hunter by Auntie Ethel's place and then supported his decision with Araj. Those two I knew from my playthrough with Vilara. Even before that I was at 72 though for some reason.

Her theme with him is sunlight/moonlight. Mostly because she's a drow, and if I had it my way she would have some kind of blindness in sunlight. She loves sunlight, but it does hurt her at least a little when it's very bright. Meanwhile, he hasn't stepped into sunlight until the tadpole. So for both this is a pretty fresh experience.

[samuel-the-blonde22]

spoilers for newcomers to Genshin.

I haven't played the game myself, but I've been watching playthroughs and learning about the Lore.

Spoilers for new players.

Deluc stood at his bar, waiting. His hands were busy wiping a glass, his mind lost in memory. It was late. It had long been predicated that this day, each week, was Deluc's "self day." No business was to be conducted, everyone working at the winery had a free day away. People talked about how this day was the day his father died. It was only partly the reason why.

He could faintly hear someone poking around outside. Checking to make sure there wasn't anybody listening. Deluc himself did that just a few minutes ago. Never hurt to be sure.

Finally, the door opened, and Kaeya stepped in, walking with his distinct smug stride and distinct smug smirk. His friend. His brother.

A traitor.

Kaeya sat at a barstool and gestured for a glass. Deluc rolled his eyes and poured him some wine. He took some grape juice for himself. They sat in silence for a few minutes, lost in thought.

Deluc remembered when this first started. His father had died the week before, murdered. Deluc was burdened by it. Grieved by it.

Kaeya? Kaeya was lightened by it.

Deluc was in this very spot, grieving, when Kaeya rushed in, grinning. Kaeya started talking, words spilling out. He was sorry so sorry, that this happened, but now Kaeya could tell his brother. He needed to speak with him. Kaeya outlined everything. He was in Mondstadt as a spy, a traitor, for Khaenri'ah, for the Abyss Order. They hadn't killed Father, he explained, but he needed to tell someone. Would Deluc please listen to him...

Deluc listened, aghast. It had come to blows, swords drawn. Kaeya lost an eye. Deluc lost a brother.

Fingers tapping on the table interrupted Deluc's thoughts. He looked up to see Kaeya grinning at him. "Still up, or are you asleep?"

Deluc just grunted. "Do you have news for me?"

"As a matter of fact, I do."

Deluc sat up straighter. The smile faded from Kaeya's face a bit as he went on.

"My old friends have new management, it seems."

Deluc nodded. "That's what I heard. A princess, of some kind."

"My, you have good ears." Kaeya took another sip of his drink. "Yes, a princess."

"I'm assuming you've met them?" Deluc asked quietly.

"This morning." Kaeya took a piece of paper from his pocket and put it on the bar. Deluc raised an eyebrow and picked it up. He had to hide a grin. Kaeya's drawing skills were as bad as he remembered.

His smile faded as he looked at the drawing. A girl, with light hair and a style of clothes that he had seen once before.

He looked up at a missing persons sign on the far wall. One set up for the new person, who had requested it after saving Mondstadt. He turned back to Kaeya.

"You're serious?"

Kaeya nodded. "She was quite clear on her relationship to our new Honorary Knight."

He stretched, leaning back far enough that it took Deluc's restraint not to pull him back. Kaeya sat back up with a sly grin, seeing Deluc's concern.

"it appears I have new orders." The words came out casually, but they made Deluc tense, reaching for his greatsword.

This, this is why Deluc couldn't trust the Knights of Favonius. It wasn't that Deluc thought of them as "inefficient" or what he always complained about. Those that knew of Deluc's "pastimes" thought he was moody, angry, maybe a bit insane. It wasn't that.

It was because he knew that at any point, this man in front of him, one of the highest-ranking people that protects Mondstadt, could turn traitor. Kaeya could turn from one of their best members into their worst enemy.

Deluc had decided beforehand, each and every secret meeting, that he would do what it took to keep Mondstadt free. It... hurt.

Kaeya was watching him, face grim, most likely reading what was going on his once-brother's mind. He reached into his coat...

And tossed an envelope on the table.

Deluc blinked, but picked it up and read it. The orders were clear: keep track of the Traveler, make sure he doesn't interfere with the Abyss Order's plans, and keep him safe. Signed, the Princess.

"That's it?" He asked Kaeya. He nodded.

"That's all."

Deluc walked over to the fireplace, and in full view of Kaeya, tore the sketch of the Abyss Order's leader and her plans to shreds and tossed them into the fire. Treasonous? Maybe. Most likely.

Kaeya nodded and walked over to the door.

"What would you do if those orders came?" Kaeya froze, hand on the doorknob. They both knew what he was talking about. He turned to Deluc, expression frightened. Anguished. A man pulled in two directions at once.

"When that time comes..." Kaeya whispered. Then he breathed in deeply, and the smug Kaeya facade came back. "If that time comes, we'll deal with it." He all but ran out the door.

Deluc sat in his corner, thinking.

[misdre]

was tagged by @bellaelizabethsmith <3 thank you! love blasting random facts about myself into the abyss

[ 1 ] Three ships i'm a simple girl with simple joys, i'll go with rei/max, takao/kai, and giancarlo/olivier. i feel like all my non-bey ships are either obscure or just a bit weird. except maybe katekyo hitman reborn ships because those i've actually talked about with people here

[ 2 ] First ship there were some i liked before i knew what shipping was (like... rei and usagi from sailor moon..... i was wildly into their tsundere relationship as a, what, 11-year-old) but my first real OTP was takuya/kouji from digimon frontier which. funnily. is not even my fave digimon OR frontier ship anymore

[ 3 ] Last song this is the embarrassing part where i admit i don't really listen to music. not because i don't like it but because there just isn't any moment in my day when i'd listen. but it was almost certainly käärijä's cha cha cha

[ 4 ] Last movie i re-watched inception a couple weeks ago. still slaps

[ 5 ] Currently reading about a boy by nick hornby

[ 6 ] Currently watching does it count that i started watching a playthrough of the dead space remake on youtube over the weekend. i'm really lazy with watching series these days, i'd need someone to watch with. it's so boring alone

[ 7 ] Currently consuming like food? umm. water? i feel like it's me who's being consumed, by 4kingdoms

[ 8 ] Currently craving these days i'm always craving cauliflower nuggies. for some reason. they're better than chicken nuggets ok

[mel-the-pirate-writeblr]

M(T)PJ: Characters

This is just a thing I figured I should write, to introduce my characters. First up, my Pokémon characters (shocker)! This is still a work in progress!

Blog Masterlist

Crystal Fairway/Pearl

Crystal's backstory is really my own history with Gen III up to Gen V games - LeafGreen, Pearl/Platinum, HeartGold, and Black. That being said, she starts out as a sixteen year old in these stories, having gone through the events of LG, P/Pt, and B but not the Team Plasma plot. They are largely underground while she wanders half of Unova. Things I deviated from my own playthrough of LG is that "Kevin," my real-life sibling, beat the Elite Four and Blue (Gary) literal years before me. In the story, Crystal beat them first, but Kevin came and usurped her and has been the reigning Champion ever since. I wanted Crystal to have that record in her history, but I wanted Kevin to hold the title of Indigo Champion.

So, who is Crystal? Physically, she is a girl with long brown hair and hazel eyes - guess why? She usually wears a grey vest over weather/season appropriate clothing - so, think tank tops in the sumer, T-shirts in the warmer halves of spring and fall with long-sleeves in the colder halves. I'm never really consistent with her pants/shorts, it depends on what I like in the moment. But the style is the same: black, with a yellow line down the side, and a Team Instinct patch/embroidered insignia located around the outside mid-thigh. Once Black came out, I really liked the look that the girl Trainer character had, and largely simplified the mental design I had for her off of things I actually own/owned (not including Instinct shorts, sadly).

Kevin Fairway

Kevin, while based on my brother in existing and history, is probably not very accurate to my own brother. I'm very bad at portraying people in my life into my stories, so Kevin is heavily inspired by my "Kevin" but is not necessarily based off of him. He played the counterpart games to mine, FireRed, Diamond, we both did Platinum, SoulSilver, and White. He also got a glitched Crystal cartridge, though it could not save it's game. I had imagined that Kevin and Crystal mostly travelled together, up until Unova, since really, when I think about it, that kind of accidentally mirrors what happened in real life. I don't know if he ever finished White past Zekrom - I never finished Black past Reshiram.

In some way, I kind of imagined Kevin as a mix between FireRed's Red, White's male character, and "Kevin" himself. I never really had a design in mind for Kevin, physically, other than typical Trainer gear (this is actually making me realize how little thought I put into the physical designs of characters). I might end up asking "Kevin" what his choice of outfit would be if he were to go on a Pokémon Journey, even though that's a silly thing to ask. I've also considered the Gen IV Ace Trainer design from both him and Crystal. His Pokémon that I write about are ones that he picked out for me from his own games, like I do for mine, so maybe he'll humor his weirdo sister a little further.

Lidin/???

Another character inspired by real life! Lidin is a stand-in for a good friend of both mine and "Kevin." He knew everything Pokémon, and I asked him so many questions about how to evolve certain Pokémon. This was before I was online, so he (and an incomplete pocket guide of Gen IV) was my only reliable source of Pokémon facts. In the story, he is the friendly rival of the Fairways (they were all rivals to each other). He met up with them in Cerulean City on their first trip while he had already gotten most of his Kanto Gym badges.

Like Kevin, Lidin never really had a set design in my mind. He was a kind of mix of the real-life friend of mine, but also of a few of the male player characters that I am familiar with. Unlike Kevin, he doesn't have any party Pokémon that I asked him to pick out; I know he played one of the Hoenn Gen III games, and had a Mudkip, and when he played one of the HG/SS, he had a Quilava. He does not (so far) appear in the story in any real confrontation sense where he has to use a party Pokémon, he is there for support.

Also, unlike "Kevin," "Lidin" may or may not know this character exists or that I have a Pokémon fanfiction at all. There is a chance he does, especially recently, since I had some bits and pieces up on an inactive dA, which he recently asked what the old username was for it. But I haven't ever directly told him about this.

Brandon

This is an antagonistic character I made up to help me limp through using canonical characters. Just as I have a hard time writing real people into my stories beyond inspiration, I have a hard time making canonical characters flexible and realistic and have them act in-character. He is one of Giovanni's Admins, so he has some sway and power within Team Rocket that is nothing to sneeze at.

Asked: Brandon's motivations

Pika

He is a Pikachu in the PMD: Explorers of Sky game. I have both Time and Sky, and both times, I have had Pika by my side. He is the partner Pokemon, he is an anxious little guy but he has determination enough to make up for it on occasion. He is learning to be confident and he cares about everyone being happy and doing well in life and in their goals! He's just a little guy :D

Kip

He is a Mudkip. I'll give the hint that his history is a bit of a mystery! However, he is a quiet Pokemon (not in Nature, just in general), and reserved, but also has a keen eye for details. He tries to help Pearl through some of the issues she goes through with relearning her history, and tries to keep the group more-or-less level-headed.

Ev

She is an Eevee, and she is another characetr based off of a real-life person! While I'm trying to nail down her personality a bit more, I do know that she, a) is very passionate about exploration, like Pika, b)is very knowledgeable, like Hex, and c) is very capable of handling herself. She has some insights, in the few chapters that she's been in for the PMD fic, into Pearl's situation, and some advice, and provides some questions that Pearl has to answer to herself. Like Kip, Ev is a bit more on the quiet side. Her backstory is a bit of a mystery, too! Though she isn't from the Grass Continent, where EoS is. She's from the Air Continent, if memory serves.

Hex

She is a Vulpix, and originally, she was going to be a different version of Crystal/Pearl. "Different Futures" was going to be one Crystal going back to her right dimension, and the other was her staying (but also being from a human dimension, I think that's how it went). I scrapped it early on, but I kept Hex as a character because I think she's fun!

She is the unofficial leader of Team PokeClan, made up of Pika, Kip, Pearl, Ev, and herself. She insists that no one is the leader, but she has the skills and intuition that shine really well when she leads them and takes charge. She will go to bat for her teammates, but she will also tell it how it is afterward, if it was wrong -- and she does, at one point.

Updated: April 30, 2023

[where-the-wind-travels]

a bit more about my mcs (specifically mia and moi, since i already made a full ish profile for raida a few days ago) because it's better to add a separate reblog than to edit the original post 😭

also reblogging to add: the works don't have to be about my pairings! while i do prefer it (and that's why i added the pairings in the first place), they can just be about my mcs in general or about their more platonic relationships <3

MIA —

Her personality type is Genuine (and that's how she acts most of the time), but she does have a few aggressive moments, although they're uncommon, and even then she's more emotional than outright hot headed. She also doesn't use swear words stronger than "damn" or "hell" (fun fact: that's part of why I chose the name "Euphemia" for her).

Lincoln is both her closest strictly platonic friend (ever since her relationship with Amalia took a romantic turn) and her older half-brother, although she doesn't find this out until Chapter 17 because just like him, she doesn't have a relationship with her biological father, Matthias.

← After her birth mom Esmé left the relationship (which she didn't even know was an affair until then), she went on to "platonically co-parent" Mia with her "best friend" Miranda (still deciding on a last name), although the relationship didn't stay platonic for long. Esmé and Miranda started dating when Mia turned 5 months old and then got married about 2 and a half years later.

Her canon ending route is either Shadow or Mixed (depending on the playthrough I decide to do), though most probably Mixed. She cares about both the Power and her loved ones, and while sacrificing herself to heal it is definitely a thing she'd do, she'd rather stay as herself.

In/after the Mixed route, she is the biggest third wheel/matchmaker for Lincoln and Abel. I'm talking since before they even reconciled, and when they finally did, Mia quite literally looked like 🥹. She tried to keep her intentions a secret so no one got uncomfortable, but Amalia definitely knew, and frequently joked about ratting her out to Lincoln if she did anything that got on Lia's nerves (though mostly when they were still just friends, she does it less once they become girlfriends). ← Mia definitely tells him "whose mutual pining is over now?" when he and Abel get together

MOI —

She lets Rourke win in the ending. Part of her does feel like it was a bad decision, but all she's wanted is to have a life, a family, real experiences that aren't just vague memories - and for Michelle to not go through all the heartbreak and complications of trying to date men when she knows she's not into them at all. It doesn't matter if she has to fight even harder to try and take down Rourke or get her friends to remember her - she went out of her way to do the impossible once, she'll do it again.

Her closest friends out of the main 12 (aside from Michelle) are Craig, Diego, and Quinn, and while not as close, she does also have a bond with Aleister. She had quite a bit of a falling out with Sean after finding out what he did to Michelle, but is hoping to understand him better now that she's experiencing everyone's past in person.

She's a hopeless romantic and an optimist at heart, and is in love with anything relating to romance, love, and interpretations of such. (And yes, she did get the honeymoon suite.) Because she's also into fiction and poetry, she likes writing and daydreaming about romantic scenes, she's really into shipping, and has more than once stayed up at night thinking about either Michelle or one of her ships.

While her usual clothing style is very casual and summery (with a bit of lean towards country girl/vintage Americana), Moi is also very into futuristic and/or flashy aesthetics, she just doesn't know how to pull it off on herself. When she and the group meet the time travelers in Book 3 (I don't remember the name of the tribe 😭), she's an absolute squeeing mess.

Despite her being born in La Huerta and never actually having been to Japan, she still misses her home country and wants to experience her culture (which is the first thing to do on her bucket list once the Rourke issue is resolved, or perhaps even before).

Choices Summer Secret Pal Exchange

What it is:

Think secret Santa but in the summer... Christmas in July?

Everyone who shows interest in participating will be given a match for whom they should create (or commission) a small work (drabble, art, edit, moodboard, etc)

How to participate below the break

How to participate:

Reblog this post stating your interest AND include your top 3 books/characters/pairings to help guide your match on what they should create for you. (reblogs that do not include a top 3 will not be considered entries for participation)[if you don't want to list 3, you can list what you're comfortable it]

or, message me here or at @lovealexhunt stating your interest and include your top picks

Note: When listing your interests, please include any preferred gender/race characteristics you may have for customizable character. If you have FCs you are welcome to list them as well.

If you want to participate but would rather not create for a particular user, feel free to message me privately and if you get that person, I'll re-spin the Wheel of Names. (no judgement)

Deadline to participate: July 14

What comes next:

On, or about, July 15, I will message you with your match and what they listed as their top 3 interests. [I use Wheel of Names to match users]

You create something for them based on their interests and post it for them on July 27—28

You do NOT have to create for all 3 pairings, one is enough. The 3 is to give you a choice for what you're comfortable with!

It would also be really nice if you could include a brief positive message of encouragement and/or support with your creation for your match

Please tag this blog and #ChoicesSummerSecretPal24 as well so I can keep track of who posted and who is missing.

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to reach out.

[queenof-literature]

I'm asking again because I absolutely adore your work! You write the Links telling stories amazingly. It truly feels that Wild was telling the stories. Could write the all Links talking about their loves. It would be mix of fluff and angst because we have Sky and Time, who are both happy with their respective partners, but we also have Wild, Twilight, and Legend who I imagine are all lost in their own ways. I have not played all the games so feel free to interpret how you wish!

Hi again! Thank you! I'm so glad you like my work! I haven’t played all the Zelda games either, but I have watched many playthroughs. I have played Skyward Sword, Twilight Princess, and BOTW, and I’m going to play Link’s Awakening after I’m done with Hollow Knight, because unfortunately that’s all I have access too with the game systems I have. But I have watched playthroughs of the rest! So thank you for letting me have my own interpretation because I see a lot of the relationships besides the ones you mentioned and more platonic. I think Wind and Tetra would be sweet but they’re twelve during the game ya know? I apologize there is less storytelling in this one, but I feel a lot of them wouldn't be quite ready to spill all the beans. Hope you enjoy!

    Time didn’t really know how it had descended this far into chaos. One moment, Warriors was telling a tale of a ‘grand exploit’ in a tavern in his Hyrule, the next, there was screaming and yelling and multiple ‘innocent young ears’ being covered. Time thinks it all started when in the middle of the story, Warriors was telling them about a beautiful young lady he had met, to which Legend groaned and rolled his eyes. Instantly Warriors’ smile grew sharp and his eyes filled with teasing and mischief. Time knew that look, that was the look that promised Warriors was about to do anything to make the other boy uncomfortable, even making up the rest of the story if he had too. 

    Yes that’s certainly what began this quick but entertaining descent into Hell. Warriors began to tell how this young woman just ‘couldn’t keep her hands to herself’ as he stared right into Legend’s soul. Of course, Legend, not one to back down from a challenge, began yelling about his experiences in the tavern, also probably made up, and started screaming about a young lady who ‘really liked his magic items’ to which led Sky to yelling at both of them to keep quiet as he covered Wind’s ears. Wind then laughed and covered Hyrule’s ears, who giggled and reached up and covered Sky’s ears to create a Triforce of protecting the innocent. Twilight, seeing this happening, smirked and covered Wild’s ears to which he fought vehemently but Twilight wouldn’t budge. Four was shifting expressions so fast it was hard to keep track, from amused, to annoyed, to horrified, to resigned, and then a weird combination of all of them. 

    Legend and Warriors continued screaming at each other, and as entertaining as it was, if Time didn’t stop them soon they would be screaming all night. 

    “Gentleman. While I’m sure many of us enjoy hearing your exploits, I think the entire forest doesn’t feel the same way.” Time voiced, causing Warriors and Legend to blush and grumble while the rest of the group laughed. 

    “Yeah, yeah we get it Old Man. You have a beautiful and loving wife at home.” Warriors teased back.

    “Your point?” Time smirked. 

    “Yeah Warriors, just cause you don’t want to settle down don’t mean we feel the same way.” Twilight called from the other side of the campfire as Wild finally fought his way out of Twi’s strong hold. 

    “Who said I never want to settle down, goat boy?” Warriors called back.

    “You called my wedding ring a shackle.” Time chuckled. 

    “Well sure it is. But who knows if I want a shackle one day.” The camp laughed at this.

    “This mean you got someone Captain? Perhaps your Zelda?” Legend teased. 

    “No, my Zelda is amazing, and badass to boot. But I don’t really feel that way about her, at least not now.” Warriors smiled. 

“Yeah, same with my Zelda. I’m not sure how she feels about me anyway.” Hyrule sighed. 

“Same here.” Legend said simply, though the group could see a haunted look in his eyes. No one mentioned it, Legend would speak up if he wanted to, and most likely not in front of the entire group. 

“You don’t have to marry Zelda. I love my Zelda but not romantically.” Time stated gently to Hyrule.

“Yeah I know. I guess I’m still kinda shocked you got married Time.” Hyrule blushed when he realized how bad that sounded as Warriors held back a laugh disguised as a cough. “I didn’t mean it like that! I just meant that I always thought heroes didn’t really settle down. They kept saving and saving.” Hyrule finished with his hands up in a placating manner, but Time wasn’t offended at all.

“I know buddy. As I said, it took me years to see through that lie. I’m happy with Malon, and I’m out here with you boys too. You can take time for yourself too, it’s not selfish.” Time smiled softly at Hyrule. Although he didn’t mean to, Time’s words sent a stab of guilt through some of the other members. He should be home with his beautiful and loving wife. Not here on another quest after he had done so much already. But they sure were grateful to have him. 

“What about you Wild?” Wind asked. “You and your Zelda seem really close from what you’ve told us.”

“Um, well I’m not sure.” Wild rubbed the back of his neck. “I love her, and I know I did before, but I don’t know if I can imagine us you know, kissing and stuff.” Wild blushed as laughter roared up.

“Very elequantly put, Wild.” Warriors cackled. 

“You got plently of time to figure that out Cub.” Twilight clapped a hand on his shoulder as the laughter died down. 

“What are you laughing for, Wind?” Warriors ruffled his hair as Wind knocked his arm away. “You always talk about Tetra.” Warriors smirked as Wind sputtered and flushed a deep pink up to his ears.

“Tetra’s awesome! I wish she were here to kick your ass for saying that!” Wind yelled as he smacked Warriors’ shoulder. 

Four elbowed Sky. “What about you lover boy. You wanna talk about your Zelda?” Four teased as Sky’s face lit up.

“Ugh don’t get him started he won’t shut up for the rest of the night.” Legend grumbled. But it was too late. Sky had already begun.

“She’s amazing. She can play the harp and sing like Hylia herself.” Sky started with a dreamy look on his face. “One time before the Wing Ceremony, she thought I was being lazy and pushed me off of Skyloft to try and get me to call my Loftwing, but he had been put in a place he couldn’t reach me. So she had to save me herself.” Sky still had that dopey look on his face as his brothers snickered at his story. 

As Sky rambled on about his Zelda, Twilight’s eyes had grown clouded, staring at the stars peeking through the warm orange glow of the coming twilight. Wild would catch him doing this sometimes, and it always looked like Twilight was having a bittersweet memory. Wild glanced over at Time, making sure he noticed too, he was Twi’s mentor afterall. Time made eye contact with Wild and gave a small nod to acknowledge he was on the same page Wild was. Before either of them could do anything, Warriors spoke up.

“What about you country boy? You have someone?” Warriors asked and the rest of camp perked up. Twilight had never talked about his love life, besides a few jokes about ‘his heart being shattered’. Hopefully he was exaggerating…

“Uhh no.” Twilight responded after snapping out of his daze to find the entire camp looking at him curiously. 

“Does this have anything to do with the princess you talked about when Wild showed us his scars?” Four asked carefully, trying to portray that he wasn’t trying to overstep any bounds. 

“Yeah I guess so…” Twilight trailed off. Legend felt something cold in his heart at this conversation. He could tell Twilight lost his love, because he had seen that same expression in the mirror for years. He wanted to help Twilight know he wasn’t alone, he wasn’t the only one that had his heart shattered by things out of his control. The boy had always been a sturdy shoulder for all of them, it was time he returned the favor. He just didn’t know how without revealing too much or making Twilight uncomfortable. 

“There was a girl once.” Legend’s voice emerged from the silence. “Hair more red than you can imagine. She lived on an island I… found but… I did something wrong. My curiosity got the best of me, and now she and the island are gone.” Legend got out as little of the story as possible as quickly as possible while still seemingly indifferent. It was one thing to open up to all of his brothers, but it was another to cry in front of them. He couldn’t. 

Twilight seemed genuinely surprised Legend had spoken up about what was haunting him. Legend was sure that the others were just as shocked but he only looked at Twilight. He wanted Twi to know he wasn’t the only one. He needed Twi to know he wasn’t the only one. Talking about it was humiliating and almost impossible and just downright painful. He needed Twi to know he had been there too. Twi gave him a gentle and understanding look, one that told Legend he understood what he was trying to do, and that he was more than grateful and supportive of him. Warriors set a gentle hand on his shoulder, slow enough that he could pull away if he needed to. Legend allowed it, but nothing more. It’s more for that idiot’s peace of mind anyway. He didn’t take any comfort in it at all…

“My companion on my quest was awful to me at first.” Twilight’s voice rang out to replace Legend’s in the silence around the campfire. “She was awful to me at first but we started to talk more along the way and we became closer. Then she just… left. I don’t know what I did wrong…” Twilight trailed off, once again looking at the quickly fading twilight above. He wanted to talk more about it, and he could tell Legend did too. They just weren’t ready yet. 

Wild bit his lip. Time was much better at comforting Twilight, but he was on the other side of the fire and making a move to be next to him would draw attention Twilight didn’t want. Wild leaned some of his weight against the older boy. He had to at least try to comfort him after all Twilight had done for Wild since they met. Twilight smiled slightly when he felt the weight and leaned back. It wasn’t much, but it was enough.  

“I don’t think you did anything wrong Twilight.” Wild spoke quietly, messing with the hem of his tunic. “I mean you talked about your companion being from the Twilight Realm right?” Twilight nodded slightly, looking pained. “Well maybe she had to go for another reason? I’m not saying you should just forget.” Wild rushed to say. “But maybe it was really complicated if both of you were growing closer to each other and she wasn’t as mean as before?” Wild finished his words with a question. Twilight never told him enough about his companion to know for sure what really happened. But he could at least try to comfort his mentor. 

Twilight looked down at Wild and smirked, but it lacked the tease it normally had, it held gratitude and love. “Thanks, Cub.” Twilight said simply, then reached out a hand to quickly ruffle the youngers’ hair. Wild yelped and slapped his hand away. Relief overwhelmed the boys in the group, thankful that the atmosphere had lifted slightly. 

“I know it’s not the same.” Warriors started once the others had settled down. “But there was this woman. She was the main one who tried to take the Triforce for herself other than Ganon. Apparently she was supposed to protect the Triforce, but she… fell in love with me.” Warriors waited for the teasing to begin. He knew he made many jokes about the women he had met, but it seemed the group could tell this sometimes plagued his mind. 

“That was one of the reasons she started the war that I fought in. I found out later that her light was driven from her to create my friend Lana, so she became completely dark. I had to fight in her temple and there were pictures of me all over the walls and…” Warriors paused. He couldn’t talk about his overconfidence yet. He couldn’t talk about his mistakes that led to Dark Link. What if the others hated him for it? “I don’t know it may sound silly. But having someone obsessed with you like that is, scary I guess. I mean, people died in those battles, because she was jealous of Zelda and me but I’m not even sure how I feel about Zelda. She died and I couldn’t help but feel guilty. I know I’m not required to have feelings for her, especially after all she had done, but it still made me feel… I don’t know.” Warriors sighed. Legend leaned slightly into Warriors’ hand on his shoulder. He never knew Warriors had that part of his story. The rest of the group felt twangs in their hearts at Warriors’ confused tone. 

“It’s not your fault Warriors.” Wind smiled up at him. “You’re right. You shouldn't force yourself to feel that way for anyone. The war wasn’t your fault.” Warriors smiled down at his small companion and nodded in thanks.

“Wind is right.” Hyrule stated quietly. “There were people after me because of the Triforce. That doesn’t mean it’s our fault.” No one mentioned that the word ‘were’ sounded a little strained. they’d have to keep an eye on him in his Hyrule it seemed. 

“Thanks guys.” Warriors grinned. It was a little more troubled than his usual grin, but it was a welcome sign nonetheless. Sky looked a little guilty at having proclaimed his love so confidently. Four pat his shoulder and shook his head. Sky shouldn’t feel guilty for being happy. None of the other boys would ever want that. 

“Look at all of us.” Legend teased with a wry smile. The rest of the group chuckled slightly. The atmosphere wasn’t as happy as it had been, but there was an odd relief, like the relief after crying. A bittersweet acceptance that hearts had been broken, but they still had brothers to fall back on. The group could tell no one else was ready to talk about anything else for the night, so they began to settle in. Surprisingly, Twilight laid his bedroll near Legend that night. While no tears were shed, the group was still exhausted from a long day of travel. After the other heroes had settled down, Twilight laid awake, looking at the stars. He knew Legend would be up too, the hero never seemed to sleep right away. And now Twilight had suspicions why after his tale.

“Hey Legend?” Twilight whispered after he was positive everyone was asleep, save Four, who was on the outskirts of camp keeping watch, too far away to hear their whispers.

“What?” Legend pretended to look annoyed but Twilight could see the curiosity in his eyes.

“What was her name?” Twilight asked quietly, praying that he hadn’t crossed a line. When Legend didn’t answer, he figured he would apologize and awkwardly turn over in his bedroll and pretend to sleep.

“Marin…” Legend whispered the name with such sadness, but such awe that it threw Twilight for a loop. “Your companion?” Legend questioned back.

“Midna.”  

[ratqueennnn]

i just had an awesome playthrough of choice of games' affairs of the court where after catching the king's blatant attentions (he sent my ass a whole entire HORSE, some gaudy jewels, a hand written poem like whew) i started a whisper campaign that actually got the queen consort executed for treason ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ BUT THEN i got to marry the king like before her body was even cold so i did not feel TOO bad about it. SO, since i was quite suddenly queen consort, i realized that i needed to have a legitimate life mage child that could take up the throne if the king were to die suddenly y'know ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) despite the odds, i actually succeeded by telling some trick ass bitch life mage that he was going to do what i wanted or else i'd kill him (i was bluffing... maybe...) but like i'd already killed his cronies – i literally set them ON FIRE like my head bitch in charge valencia does not play around. they did try to attack me so... it was self defense ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ANYWAYS, FYI, all the while this is happening i am also fucking the king's closest advisor luis de vega because he totally got into my pants with this line:

LIKE, whew, the man charmed me. so, we're having this like passionate, sexy affair that i refuse to give up even though my reputation suffered a bit because of it. also, the king totally would have had my ass executed had he discovered it.

SO, you see, for now all is well! UNTIL, some ASSASSINS turned up to try and murder me and my like 3 month old son?? and OF COURSE they decided to show up in the castle while i was enjoying a sweet stolen moment with the love of my fucking life luis de vega. i had a couple of options like do i hide in luis' room? do i grab my kids and run to the stables where the king and his guards are? NO, i rushed out into the fray and started fucking blasting lightning bolts and fire from every orifice of my body like those assassins were well beyond overcooked by the end of THAT vicious exhange. to sum it up, no one fucks with valencia de rivera + her two kids and lives to tell the tale.

carrying on, a bit later there's this bit like "[the king's] lovemaking with you is as passionate as it ever was, and he does not call out any name but yours." ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) like WHEW my girl valencia was really out here fucking to survive wasn't she!! the king liked them young but valencia's pussy was just too good to pass up it seems.

THEN, just when i thought i could catch my breath, the king's bastard son came to court working some kind of mind control bullshit which was handled rather quickly, actually. like, he tried to get me to reveal my secrets but boo fucking hoo motherfucker i was too magically powerful to be tricked into revealing my affair with the foxy luis de vega or the sketch ass (illegal) magic that i used to conceive a life mage heir OR that i played a part in the last queen consort's death. so, i cured the king of mind control. a piece of cake. then, he had his bastard's tongue ripped out and the bones in his hands broken. just a day like any other.

so, to wrap all this up, luis de vega came to me telling me that people were starting to conspire against me after the king had been on some execution binge that was already making me sweat a little. so, once again, i have a few options. i knew immediately i was NOT going to run away. initially, i did not even let myself turn to something such as killing the king but then things were clearly turning dire so, i'm like, i've made it this far and i'm not about to lose my head or put my kids in danger. so. i decided to poison him. i even poisoned MY OWN DAMN SELF some at the same time to alleviate suspicion like the absolutely metal motherfucker i am. i did not even really lose sleep over it in fact like i dare say valencia slept better than she had in years after that whole ordeal.

THEN, at last, i became queen regent and i lived happily ever after with luis de vega:

[thornsent]

Especially the ending, and the way it makes me feel.

I first played this game when I was around 9 years old after negligent parenting led me down an internet rabbit hole with this game on the other end. To say it was influential is an understatement, but this isn't about how this game changed my life so I'll save that. The first time I played it wasn't even in English.

I had to teach myself how to change the locale of my family computer to Japan and learn some other skills just for it to run, and then, I used way too much ink printing out a full walkthrough someone had written, complete with the ASCII-stylized title screen up top. There were things this guide missed, though, so I supplemented through early Youtube LPs like Loudman, 4chan & uboachan posts, and the fantastic fansite, Madotsuki's Closet, which I'm happy to say is still up today!

Methodically, I planned out my trips into Madotsuki's dreams, noting what effects were nearby which events, and prioritizing the effects needed for navigating. I would play after school, slowly chipping away at effect after effect until I had all of them. And then I sought out every event, and even broke open the game in RPG 2k3 just to make sure I wasn't missing anything.

I wasn't. I'd gotten every effect, seen every event, explored every world with a fine-toothed comb.

I knew how the game ended before I ever started my own playthrough, but I still had some hope of finding a secret way out that wasn't off the side of her balcony. Even as I walked into the Nexus for the last time. Even as I went through my effects one by one, playing with each one last time before laying them down on the ground. Even as the somber credit music played.

I was, at the time anyway, a young girl with brown hair in braids who was terribly alone and traumatized. I barely had any friends, and rarely left my room. My only escape, like Madotsuki's, was in my head. Speaking as an adult who has gone through some shit, the ending of the game really does feel like a suicide... But perhaps that's not what it is.

I used to think of that sequence as a person nearing their own death going through their things and organizing them to make it "easier" on their loved ones. Reliving the memories, holding that sweater one last time before you let it go for good. I think this interpretation still holds water, but maybe it doesn't have to be like that.

Maybe the dreams were a way for her to work through her past trauma. After all, she's empowered, even in her worst dreams: She can always pinch herself to wake up. If it becomes too much, too scary, or she just gets stuck she can leave.

And think of the other effects! While they clearly show struggles & themes of trauma they are things she chooses to engage with, on her own terms. The player, as Mado, chooses to wear these effects, and often they are necessary tools to navigate her dreams.

So at the end of the game, she's putting away all of these effects because she does not need them anymore. Not because she's really going to die, but because she no longer needs to escape from the real world in her dreams. They've served their purposes. She's explored every inch of the dreamlands. She's processed things, reclaimed things, empowered herself-- It's time to leave the room.

What if Madotsuki's suicide isn't really a suicide? What if the dreamer is just finally waking up?

I'm thinking about Yume Nikki again