#this piece is a culmination of so many feelings in those 10 years and i hope i can show my thanks and love for it in this gesture

[broomsick]

10 simple steps to celebrating Álfablót!

Autumn is almost upon us! I hope you guys are as excited for it as I am. I have a whole bunch of fun little posts prepared concerning all things pagan and/or heathen that are of interest, this season. Álfablót is one of my personal favorites when it comes to harvest celebrations! It can pretty much be viewed as the culmination of the harvest season cycle. If, like me, you scatter offerings to the álfar and the Vanir across the summer, then this will most probably be your last harvest offering for the year (quite like Samhain, though the two are entirely different celebrations). Might as well make it count!

Depending on your beliefs and personal preferences, you may want to make your offerings to the álfar, your dísir, the landvættir or any other land spirit of your choosing for that matter, the Vanir, and even all of the above. What matters most is your gratitude! It’s the main point of this ultimate harvest offering: a last “thank you” to the deities and spirits who grant us prosperity of the land. The way I see it, however, gratitude comes in many, many shapes! For example, if you’re someone like me who likes to garden and grow your own veggies and herbs, you can express during Álfablót your gratitude for a plentiful summer, and ask for another good harvest for the next year. If you’re someone who works with a specific spirit (or spirits), you can choose to take a much more personal approach and personally thank them for their guidance throughout the year. This can also be done if you feel close to this or that Vanir deity!

The second most important aspect of the celebration to keep in mind for Álfablót is sacrifice! Scary word, I know. But it’s crucial to the very idea of blót. I’d go as far as to say that one is pretty much synonymous to the other. But it’s nothing to feel nervous about: sacrifice in the context of a mordern-day blót is really quite simple! A sacrifice is the offering of something that’s yours and which you willfully let go of in honor of this or that deity/spirit! This can be a piece of food, a drink, an object and the like. Either something you already own or something you bought for the occasion! During harvest season celebrations, my sacrifices usually consist of a few veggies or bundles of herbs harvested in my garden. It’s also possible for those who don’t garden to offer something similar, by offering seasonal products bought from local farmers! If such sacrifices are not in the cards for you, it’s also possible to save part of your dinner as an offering for the blót. It serves to represent your appreciation of the gifts of the earth! As you were given good food by the harvest spirits, you are also ready to give back to them in thanks!

But enough with the chatter, let’s jump straight to the practicalities! Once more, I’d like to say that these are all ideas and activities I personally enjoy engaging in for an Álfablót. So please feel free to custom any of these to your needs or just to use this sort of template as simple inspiration!

1. Before the sacrifice and the celebration, I usually like taking a moment to meditate on the upcoming event! I sit still and put on some music which reminds me of the season, or the Gods I will offer to. Then I close my eyes and take a quick moment to gather my thoughts concerning the blót: who am I honoring? What am I grateful to them for? What do I wish for in the upcoming seasons? Etc! It’ll clear your mind and put you in the autumn spirit for sure!

2. If you celebrate with friends or family, every one can contribute a meal or a piece of food, such as corn, soup, bread, a dessert, some beer, etc etc… Homemade and/or seasonal will further honor the gifts of the land! If you celebrate alone, why not try to prepare one such meal and save some of it for offering!

3. Before the sacrifice, put some music on, sip a drink, have some fun, get into the celebration spirit in honor of Álfheimr and of Freyr!

4. When the sun is close to setting, light a bonfire. If you don’t have access to a safe outside space in which to start a fire, lighting a hearth or a simple candle are also options.

5. Effigies or representations of the Gods/spirits honored (for example a statue, a phallic symbol, a picture or even just a symbolic object) may be anointed using your preferred method of cleansing, such as incense or ritual oil. The Gods and spirits can then be formally invited to join the celebration, for example, using an invocation.

6. In a group setting, everyone then recites something for the honored deities: something they’re grateful to them for, a prayer, a poem, a song, etc… The same can be done if you’re alone (with the option of reciting more than one of these, of course).

7. Offerings of harvested greens, flowers, written prayers and the like are cast into the fire one by one to be received by the Gods of harvest! I think I don’t need to mention how offerings of alcohol shouldn’t be cast into the fire, for obvious reasons. I usually prepare a ritual bowl and place it upon my hörgr so that libations may be poured in it instead!

8. Time to feast! A toast and a blessing are made in honor of the álfar before eating starts.

9. Seasonal foods I enjoy during Álfablót celebrations: meat pies, roasted veggies, squash, boar meat in honor of Yngvi-Freyr, spicy or creamy soups, craft beers, cold pasta salads, red and white wines, garlic buttered bread, anything pumpkin or apple, ginger flavored sodas or alcohols…

10. Bonus! If you’re a fan of journaling, it’d be fun to note down your impressions of the celebration and ideas for the next!

[mariacallous]

I’m just a defense analyst, so I’ll leave a proper critique of Ridley Scott’s new blockbuster biopic Napoleon to the many reviewers who have already disparaged it. I, for one, found it to be a lukewarm mélange of battle scenes and romantic vignettes, leaving me with neither a sense of the man Napoleon Bonaparte—the bicorne-hatted soldier-turned-emperor of the French—nor a feel for the age of upheaval he so much defined. For a grand piece of historical fiction from the director of such masterpieces as Blade Runner, Thelma & Louise, and Black Hawk Down, the film curiously fails to entertain.

My perspective on Napoleon is a different one. Scott’s film stands in a long line of movies, novels, and even history books that have given the world an entirely wrong view of how wars are fought—and even more importantly, how they are won. And that matters, because the mythical idea of war embedded in Napoleon and so many other works has become so widespread in our culture and discourse that it ends up informing actual decisions about actual wars.

Let’s call it the decisive battle myth. Napoleon, with its focus on famous battles such as those of Austerlitz and Waterloo, perpetuates the dangerous idea that wars are decided by great and bloody clashes. This obsession is as old as there have been written accounts of history, but in popular culture in the English-speaking world, the myth can be traced back to the 1851 publication of The Fifteen Decisive Battles of the World: From Marathon to Waterloo, which helped kickstart an entire genre of works focusing on battles supposed to have singlehandedly changed the course of history. In film, think of The Longest Day, Midway, and Stalingrad; in books, the list of battle histories and battle fiction is too long to contemplate. The genre even plays in counterfactuals: The 1993 movie Gettysburg, based on Michael Shaara’s novel The Killer Angels, suggests that the South could have won the U.S. Civil War had the Battle of Gettysburg gone the other way.

No matter what these works have taught us to think, the decisive battle is a myth. Wars between major powers are not decided by great battles but by attrition of soldiers and materiel, which in turn is determined by such things as force size, logistics, production, and technology. Battles, large and small, are important only to the extent to which they accelerate attrition and wear down the other side. Yet the myth of the decisive battle—the idea that an adversary can be defeated in one big and bloody but short engagement—remains powerful. It’s also dangerous, because it affects not only ordinary moviegoers but military and political leaders as well. In other words, the very people deciding whether to start and how to fight a war.

Scott’s focus on battles is hardly surprising. Napoleon fought numerous campaigns culminating in big set-piece battles, after which the defeated side sought peace; at the Battle of Austerlitz, Napoleon defeated the allied armies of Austria and Russia, forcing the former to sue for peace and the latter to retreat home. But the French emperor’s most celebrated victory—exactly 218 years ago today—was only an episode in a long war that did not end until 10 years later, after attrition and mutual exhaustion.

The focus on decisive battles orchestrated by a brilliant military leader such as Napoleon has been poisoning Western military thinking for centuries by suggesting that great power wars can be short affairs. The idea that an adversary can be decisively beaten in just one or a few engagements has incentivized political and military gambling: Think of the German Schlieffen Plan that bet on a single, decisive encirclement of French forces and their quick annihilation or capitulation in 1914, with the disastrous result of condemning much of Europe to four years of attrition with millions of soldiers killed. The idea of a quick, decisive battle inspired then-Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein to invade Iran in 1980, which led to a horrifically bloody eight years of attrition.

More recently, Russian President Vladimir Putin thought one decisive push toward Kyiv in early 2022 would quickly and painlessly conquer Ukraine. Hundreds of thousands of deaths later, the grinding war goes on. For all the emphasis on Napoleon’s quick campaigns and decisive battles, his wars tell a similar story of long and painful attrition: More than 5 million European soldiers were killed or otherwise died during the Napoleonic wars, a level of carnage, relative to total population, on par with World War I. France alone lost around 860,000 soldiers, including 38 percent of all men born between 1790 and 1795.

That Napoleon is only a movie doesn’t make it better. There are documented cases of films influencing a policymaker’s decisions to go to war. In 1970, for example, then-U.S. President Richard Nixon repeatedly watched the film Patton during the decision-making process to expand the Vietnam War into Cambodia, taking inspiration from the movie general’s willpower and single-minded belief in U.S. military power. One academic study found that popular culture, including fictional films, can frame the way we think about a multitude of issues, and there is no reason to believe that military officers and policymakers are exempt from these effects. Movies can help prevent wars, too. Former U.S. President Ronald Reagan was inspired by the television film The Day After and Tom Clancy’s novel Red Storm Rising to push for nuclear arms control. But if decision-makers and military leaders are prone to fighting the wars of their imagination, then a popular culture that reinforces the idea that wars can be short and decisive may incentivize willingness to look for a quick military solution to a political problem.

There is much more in Napoleon that made me cringe as a military analyst. What you see on the screen has absolutely nothing to do with warfare in the age of Napoleon—as a matter of fact, the clouds of gunpowder from the era’s muzzle-loaded muskets meant you would not be able to see very much on a Napoleonic battlefield to begin with. The battle scenes are a Hollywood mishmash of medieval melees, meaningless cannonades, and World War I-style infantry advances.

One scene that stands out is the apocryphal depiction of Napoleon leading a cavalry charge into what are supposed to be the Russian lines at the Battle of Borodino. As a former artillery officer, of course, Napoleon never led a cavalry charge in his life. For all of Scott’s fixation on Napoleon’s battles, he seems curiously disinterested in how the real Napoleon fought them—and just as disinterested in the changing character of Napoleonic warfare. By 1812, Napoleon’s enemies had not only learned to adapt by emulating the French style of fighting, but the battles themselves had turned into meat grinders of such a scale that no individual could control them. The battles of Wagram (in 1809), Borodino (1812), and Leipzig (1813) each involved hundreds of thousands of troops and many hundreds of cannons. The idea that the commander of his country’s armies in an 1812 battle had the liberty to lead a horse charge is so preposterous that the scene makes Mel Gibson’s Braveheart—considered one of the most historically inaccurate films in recent decades—look like a paragon of historical realism.

Napoleon’s military genius was not just about individual heroism or skilled battle tactics, but more importantly his vision for structural reforms. Napoleon helped institutionalize the corps system, dividing up large armies into smaller ones as a way to enable more effective command and control, as well as greater speed and range. Key to this new corps system were Napoleon’s marshals, distinguished military officers who sometimes remained undefeated in battle and whose deaths Napoleon mourned deeply. It was the marshals and other officers to whom Napoleon delegated authority; they proved to be a major asset contributing to his victories. In the film, these colorful independent actors are relegated to the role of footmen.

The film’s wild inventions go much farther. The British Army, led by the Duke of Wellington, features prominently, even though it played only a minor role in battle. Rather than the fighting role, the British contribution to Napoleon’s defeat lay in the sea blockade and in financing the huge standing armies of Austria, Prussia, and Russia that bore the brunt of the fighting. The duke and Napoleon never met in person, another invention of the movie that could have been omitted without loss, since it is devoid of meaningful dialogue that might have helped the audience better understand Napoleon’s volatile and ruthless character. Scott could instead have depicted the heated argument between Napoleon and Austrian diplomat Prince Klemens von Metternich during their famous eight-hour encounter in Dresden, then the capital of the Kingdom of Saxony, in 1813. The meeting convinced Metternich of the French emperor’s troubling mental state and the impossibility of making peace as long as he reigned.

There is no reason to believe that the myth of the decisive battle will lose its power any time soon. As the historian Cathal J. Nolan writes in The Allure of Battle: “The idea of decisive battle will always be more alluring than winning by attrition—morally and aesthetically; to generals and theorists, and to publics hungry for war news.” Nolan might have added film directors to his list.

Let us hope that U.S. and NATO military strategists and force planners do not draw too deep an inspiration from Scott’s depiction of Napoleonic battle. It’s bad enough that the allure of the decisive battle is already shaping U.S. deliberations over how to fight a possible future war with China over Taiwan. Disregarding the likely attritional character and extended length of such a fight—and the requirements in manpower, weapons, ammunition, production capacity, and political constancy that would entail—could spell disaster for the United States and its allies. Focusing on long attrition instead of dramatic clashes would certainly make for a boring film experience, especially since one only has to look at Ukraine to see the long slog of attrition playing out in real life. Nonetheless, stripping Napoleon of the romanticism associated with epic battles decided by the archetypal hero on horseback would be a small first step in gaining a better understanding not only of past wars, but also of how future wars will be fought.

[pointofreturn]

hello again tumblr

Here I am, back again after a very long hiatus. I've had various blogs here over the years and for some reason, I am feeling called back.

I'll tell you more about myself later (maybe). I've been writing a memoir for a long time....over 10 years. I've been through (unfortunately) a lot in my life and I've created a lot of material based on those experiences, but for one reason or another, I've shared very little of the project.

I recently received a full fellowship to a non-fiction workshop in Key West. During my time there, I was encouraged to share more of my writing, to stop hiding and start putting my voice out into the world.

I've thought about ways to do this for a while now. I am really disillusioned with the capitalist social media machine that enslaves many aspiring writers and authors. I don't want people to pay for my Substack subscription (wtf is that shit) and I don't want to pay Submittable up to 25 bucks for an impersonal rejection letter (I'm currently unemployed). I don't want to hyper-expose myself on Instagram or TikTok trying to gain meaningless followers or monetize shitty content or (gag) become an accidental "influencer." I just want to share my writing and hear what people think of it.

I recognize the power of the internet. I know that I have to share the project publicly if I ever want to see it published. I like the anonymity Tumblr provides. No one knows me here. I can share these memories and stories without fear. Eventually, I'll put my name and face to this writing, but just to start, I want to stay a ghost.

I miss the "old" internet days when text blogs thrived (livejournal, xanga). I miss reading people's random thoughts and stories. That's why I've come back here instead of trying to post my writing elsewhere. It helps too that I have full creative control, the ability to experiment, and opportunities to receive feedback.

I don't want this introductory post to be too long, but I want to end with a little bit about the memoir. Point of Return is the culmination of my childhood and adolescent experiences with a variety of complex traumas including dysfunctional family dynamics, mental and physical illness, death and spirituality, love and loss and all that jazz. The first piece I will share is the (slightly altered) piece I submitted for the workshop. It is an excerpt from the chapter about my grandmother, who cared for me as a child and whom I now care for as she struggles with dementia.

Thank you if you read any of this and please say hi!!! I am in desperate need of writer friends (really just friends in general), so I hope to make some connections here as well.

Later gators!

[victory-duo]

To the game that taught me to persevere for my dream,  to open my mind to different viewpoints, and to accept different ideas to achieve something bigger together.... 

Happy 10th anniversary, Pokemon Black and White! 

---

This was originally planned to be a two-part piece, but I couldn't finish James (Hilbert) and Fluffy (Reshiram) in time haha. They will be followed up on this week as a week-long celebration!

[Unova/Gen V lovemail ahead!]

----

Gen 5 was the very first time I was able to catch the pre-release hype of a Pokemon game online.

At the time, I was 13, a freshman highschooler who caught the intrigue of the very first Unova Pokemon in silhouettes, the starters and the Tao Duo.... wow, there's gonna be new mons!

I witnessed everything that unfolded during Gen 5 from start to finish: heck, I was even one of those bandwagon haters from back then, I knew too well how they thought.  

"Wow this dex SUCKS they try too hard to copy kanto" "pokemon went downhill this year" "wth they changed so much?? this isn’t even pokemon"

I feel like these days people have been undermining how it was negatively received, so I want to share what I've seen firsthand.

Everyone was so angry at how the dex didn't have any old mons, and that the designs we're stuck with are tryhard expies of the original 151. That's beside the overused "ice cream and garbage pokemon UGLY" argument which rooted from that sentiment with the designs. Surprisingly I actually bought this thinking at first (YES, I started out as a Unova hater) and tried hard to lift up the then-latest Digimon season (Xros Wars) by saying the designs are ugly lol

Hate aside, younger me still wanted to see the game anyway and pirated a JP copy of the game release day.... but I couldn't understand anything, so I got stuck at Nacrene City and just waited for the English version haha.

Fast-forward to March the next year, it was a happy time of the year for me because school years used to end in March in my country! School was heavily winding down and I get to play a new Pokemon game fresh, wow!! I was still in denial but I really liked the new story focus. During that time, then-Unova hater me was in a denial stage, trying to water down what I liked about the game and being bitter about it breaking the mold too much.... but over the months I tried to engage with it more, and the biggest gateway for me was Spe BW.

At the time it was still in its earliest chapters (I think it was before the Nimbasa stuff?), and I thought hey, why not try to follow it while it's ongoing? (RIP) I just got really endeared with Black and especially White at the time! You can see where that led to today LOL

So now you probably guessed this is the start of my Hilda fan backstory, and yes, it is HAHAHA. I didn't pay it much mind at first but 14 y/o me was like, WOW.... wait.... her design really speaks to me, this is the aesthetic I want for myself?? She's so boyish compared to the others!

I started veering away from Spe White, taking aspects of her and projecting (HAHA) onto the actual player, and protagverse White was made! She isn't actually made for the verse, but someone I've been treating as an avatar for a while now since 2012. I was so happy with her that I even restarted White and made a new file playing as her character! 

For this anniversary piece, it was meant to be a culmination of my personal feelings with the games:

My 1st G5 game was White 'cause I loved Zekrom, protagverse White was my comfort character that helped me cope so much as a teen, and they just influenced me in so many ways.

I wouldn't know how I would be today if teen me didn't find comfort and inspiration in the Unova games. It was a big part of my art journey.

Since 2012, every 4 years, I've made a small tradition to redraw my 1st White art.  This art is redraw #2.

In 2012, I was in my 3rd year of high school. In 2016, I was in my 3rd year of college (and 1st year of art school). Today, in 2020, I've graduated and now working as a freelance artist.

White, and Unova as a whole, grew up with me, and I'm so thankful they exist.

If you've read this far, thank you for reading, and I hope that I've imparted how much I love Unova, and how much it's helped me over the years. It's had a rough start, but I will never regret sticking for it until it got out of the spotlight now as the appreciated sets of games it is.

Thank you so much, Unova!

Love, A fan since 2010 <3

[jojolightningfingers]

fic rec list

Because I’ve never done one of these, and I would really like to shout-out some stories that reduce me to a pile of ash every time I so much as think about them. So here, my 10 favorite fics in no particular order:

ideny’s Dirty Sympathy (Ace Attorney; klapollo)

“I do not know that I believe in fate. But I believe in helplessness, and that is almost the same.”

Coming as absolutely no fucking shock to anybody who’s known me or followed this blog for the past two years or so. The premise: Klavier and Apollo are in abusive relationships with Daryan and Kristoph respectively, meet by chance, and frame each other’s tormentors for murder. What follows is AA4, told with this undercurrent, culminating in a third act that had me in my best friend’s dms wailing incomprehensibly. This fic runs the full spectrum of human emotion. This fic redefined fic for me. Some day in the future I’m going to sit down and dissect this fic’s narrative structure just so I can maybe attain half the power and cohesion of it. Every single one of ideny’s characters is so powerfully written--not just the main players, but the side cast. The characters that appear for like, one scene and are never seen again. So much thought and care is put into each line and it really, really shows.

The revised first 74 chapters are on Ao3 here; the LiveJournal thread with the full original version is here. The revision leaves off at the end of 149c/some (you’ll have to scroll down really far to see it). If you’re making the jump you’ll know you’ve gotten the right starting point if the post opens with ‘The sounds his feet make on the dark wooden stairs in the front hall [...]’.

hatsuna’s I wish to live in a world (Haikyuu!!; sakuatsu)

Guarantees were foolish things, so hope was all Motoya had to brave the world, and the wings of that were too frail to build futures upon.

The sakuatsu, if you can believe it, is not the important part of this fic. The lens the sakuatsu is viewed through is. This fic is a fabulous example of a study on a relationship viewed from the outside: in this case, Komori’s efforts to reconcile the cousin he knows with the cousin who has somehow entered a relationship with someone like Atsumu--undeniably the same person, and somehow not at all. The way this story makes me feel is very difficult to put into words, mainly because I haven’t seen a fic that handles all the strange, uncomfortable, pieces-missing emotions surrounding how you see people and how other people see the same person, intertwined with the wistfulness involved in growing up, as well as this one does. It’s soft and squidgy and somehow presents itself such that the reader can see the contradictions in how Komori sees the world, but Komori himself cannot. There isn’t much that’s more human than that.

@glassedplanets’ quema (Bleach; grimmichi)

So he opens his mouth, not to devour but to welcome, and marks this down in some immutable corner of his being: first of many, first of many, first of many.

Where lies the line between want and obligation? What happens when the borders between the three worlds come down? This list would of course not be complete without me pointing furiously at this fic and making completely incoherent noises. Nailing the neverending nature of something in writing is really, really hard to do and this delivers in spades (hah). There is a simplicity to the way Grimmjow and Ichigo view and navigate each other that is paradoxically complex and alien and fascinating to witness. Highly recommended for those of you that like exploring relationships that are very much atypical in their love languages (what is yearning but another form of hunger, after all?) and also have a soft spot for incredibly well-written fight sequences and prose that hits like a hammer. And also Reishi Theory.

@kanthia‘s Life Goes On (Dragon Ball; vegebul and hanvi)

She likes it on Mount Paozu, where gods visit for tea and dinner, and love is the quiet between words.

Fine I’m cheating a little bit with this one since it’s a collection and not one fic, but self-imposed limitations say I can only use an author once, otherwise this list would have maybe three people on it.

Dragon Ball is a series full of patent ridiculousness, we all know this about it, but it is also a series full of these very grounded, soft moments that shine all the more because of the ridiculousness surrounding them. That they’ve got a quality of ambiguity makes them magnetic: We see and know as fact that Vegeta and Bulma eventually marry and have children, but we know next to nothing about the specifics involved in how they got there, even though the trajectory throughout the canon is believable. Kanthia’s specialty is in weaving together plausible extrapolation with what few things canon does give us to pull the mundane parts of Dragon Ball to the fore, and they do it heartbreakingly well. Of this collection, The Gods Themselves is probably my favorite, but all of them get me deep in my feelings one way or another.

Quiddity’s A Fair Exchange (Fire Emblem: Three Houses; ferdibert)

Goddess, Hubert thinks, he looks like he belongs there, and it infuriates him that he is so drawn to something so intent against heeding him.

Who doesn’t love a good merman/human romance? I know I do. Quid’s punchy, playful style gives the tale of Hubert struggling to cling to his dignity in the face of the siren song of an exceptionally bratty and beautiful mer!Ferdinand (merdinand, if you will) a delightfully colorful tone. Join them as they work out what they feel for each other--as well as the intentions of a suspicious character that’s turned up in the capital.

@transversely’s the butterfly stance (Attack on Titan; annie/eren)

She could have lived aeons without knowing what she knows now: that someone can have the disposition that she does, can face what she faces, and still choose what she couldn’t.

Though this piece was written quite a while before Attack on Titan got really in depth on Annie’s story, I find that it still holds up as a melancholy look into her head--particularly where it concerns her connection with Eren, and through Eren with herself and her mission. As much as I hate to leave this recommendation hanging vague, it does by its nature contain a lot of really pertinent spoilers, so I advise holding off on this one until you’ve gotten through the canon covered through the end of the first anime season (I don’t off the top of my head remember what that translates to in manga chapters). Trust me, it’s worth the restraint.

@queenieofaces’ linear time is fake; you can only trust your fists (JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure; jotaro character study)

Jotaro just persists. There’s nothing laudable about outliving everyone around him.

If you’re in the market for a dealing-(badly)-with-trauma narrative that does unsettling things with the concept of time, here’s your story. I’m a personal fan of exploring the inner workings of ‘stoic’ characters, especially when those inner workings are a total, possibly-spirit-possessed disaster, and this one’s fantastic. 

@isozyme’s we are the reckless (Homestuck; vriska/aradia space au)

“What the fuck is your deal?” she asked. “I’m Vriska fucking Serket, traitor to the New Crown, the one and only Two Faced Bitch, the Scourge, and I am old as balls and I have killed shit twice your size, and I am ordering you to get us into space without exploding our sorry meatsacks in the process, because I am the boss of you!”

The helmsman’s pupils were narrow slits and she was breathing hard, but her gaze tracked Vriska across the small room. She was beautiful and dangerous, like a pit viper or a lieutenant with a soft heart. Vriska had put down a lot of beautiful and dangerous things. “I’m Aradia,” the helmsman said. “And I don’t care.”

Sometimes a fic is a fragment of a much larger story that will never be told in its entirety, but in truth the fragment is all you need. Vriska is a fugitive from justice. Aradia is the helmsman of the ship she steals to flee on. Their flight is dogged by misfortune and ghosts from both of their pasts, which somehow is soil fertile enough for trust--however tentative--to germinate. This story draws you in (if you’re like me) with curiosity about the setting, and keeps you along for the ride with beautiful turns of phrase. And at the end you’ll wonder: what comes next? Ultimately, that’s for you to daydream about.

@thornescratch’s How to Succeed in Sexual Blackmail Without Really Trying (Final Fantasy VII; reno/cloud)

“My life,” Cloud said slowly, “is sometimes indescribably strange.”

Rufus looked at him and there was nothing but sincerity in his eyes. “Oh, Strife, you have no idea.”

And then, sometimes a fic is one of those ones you reread whenever you need a laugh. Thorne excels at tart, deadpan anecdotal humor and describing the totally-insane-when-you-step-back-and-think-about-it mess that is Cloud Strife and the people he knows. One of whom is Reno, whose knowledge of what blackmail actually is is debatable, who is freakishly persistent, and who is--to the detriment of the possibility of a headacheless existence--utterly irreverent and inappropriate. And somehow, it’s charming. Who knew.

AlienYak’s I’m a fucking genius, and I can’t stop contradicting myself (Eyeshield 21; agon/hiruma)

The expression on Hiruma’s face when he turns away is the defeated one Agon had once wanted to see, once coveted and ruined three lives to get near. And now that it’s right there in front of him, he doesn’t know what to do with it, except to walk away.

Agon mourns for his genius and sanity whilst trying to solve the problem of Hiruma. That is: Hiruma’s presence, his draw, and why the fresh hell he feels the way he feels about him. Because he’s an asshole, he has a lot of trouble with it. Because Hiruma’s also an asshole, he doesn’t make it easy on either of them. Sometimes the relationship is just not very healthy and sometimes that’s why it’s fascinating.

So concludes my list! I highly recommend checking out other works from all the authors listed here, every one of them have multiple incredibly good stories to tell and it would be a shame to only let one or two of them see the light of day. Hope I did an adequate job selling all these!

[mrmrswales]

Exclusive: the ‘profoundly powerful’ moments that shaped Duchess of Cambridge’s children’s charity work by Camilla Tominey

It all started with secret visits the public never got to see. Newly married, and with the world’s press chronicling her every move – down to the details of her designer dresses – the Duchess of Cambridge resolved to go "below radar".

Acting as Prince William’s "plus one", rather than a fully fledged solo royal in those early days, the newest addition to the Royal family knew that she wanted to find a cause she could champion as impactfully as Diana, the Princess of Wales’s landmine campaign; it was simply a question of where to find it.

Having already announced her first patronage of Action on Addiction, a charity working with people with drug and alcohol problems, Hope House, a women-only rehabilitation centre in Clapham, south London, seemed as good a place as any to start.

It was October 2011 when the then 29-year-old Duchess paid the first of several, incognito visits in a bid to find out what had sent its clients on a downward spiral of self-destruction.

According to Rebecca Priestley, who accompanied the Duchess on the visit and would go on to spend five years as her private secretary, it played a pivotal role in her decision to put childhood at the heart of her philanthropic endeavours.

Speaking on the record for the first time, Mrs Priestley, who is now an executive coach, recalled:  "I remember going up to Anglesey, where they were living after the wedding, to have a conversation with the Duchess about her royal life."

At that point, she had the philanthropic world at her feet. She could have done anything she wanted in the charitable arena. Typically, she had put a lot of thought into it already. Addiction was an issue she was instinctively thinking about – but she was also genuinely interested in understanding what support was there and what role that played in the bigger picture of mainstream societal issues."

With the Duke having flown to the Falklands for a six–week tour of duty with his RAF search and rescue squadron, Mrs Priestley put a programme together to support the Duchess’s desire to "listen and learn"."A lot of it was behind the scenes, just talking to people and hearing where it was that they needed more help.  The one thing that united all of the women at Hope House was that the derailing had started so early on. They could trace the problems in their adult lives back to childhood."

A subsequent private visit in February 2012 to Clouds House, a treatment centre in East Knoyle in Wiltshire, served as further confirmation that the early years should be a key area of focus. But it was during a later meeting with female inmates at a detox unit at Send Prison in Woking when the penny well and truly dropped.

"It was a profoundly powerful moment,” recalled Mrs Priestley. "You go in there with this preconceived idea that these women have done things wrong, that it was their fault. Then one woman started speaking to the Duchess about her earliest memories of seeing needles on the floor of her home."

She had always thought addiction was a misunderstood issue, but after this, she became concerned that there was a pre-destiny about those affected – an inevitability about it. These women were born into it and there was very little chance of escape."

The experience set in train a sequence of events that will next week culminate in the Duchess, 39, stepping up her ambition in driving awareness and action on the impact that early childhood can have on society at large.

She will launch a new initiative through the couple’s Royal Foundation to further explore the science around early childhood, raise awareness of the issue and foster collaboration and partnerships across relevant groups.

According to Lord Hague, who became chairman of the Royal Foundation last September, the "ambitious" new project will be equal in stature to William’s £50 million Earthshot Prize, launched last year with Sir David Attenborough to find workable solutions to climate change and environmental problems.

"The Duchess truly believes this is one of the great issues of our time," said the former Tory leader. "This is the central plank of her work in the way conservation issues are for the Duke. It’s a hugely significant moment."

While politicians are often in a rush to make a difference during the comparatively short time they have in office, royals are there for life, which perhaps explains why Kate has taken 10 years to get to this point.Having been instrumental in launching the Heads Together campaign with William and Prince Harry in 2016, designed at tackling the stigma and changing the conversation on mental health, it was not until 2018 that she convened a steering group of experts to look at how cross-sector collaboration could bring about lasting change.

In January, she delivered a landmark speech after her Five Big Questions on the Under Fives survey garnered over 500,000 responses.

"People often ask why I care so passionately about the early years," the mother-of-three said.

"Many mistakenly believe that my interest stems from having children of my own. While of course I care hugely about their start in life, this ultimately sells the issue short. If we only expect people to take an interest in the early years when they have children, we are not only too late for them, we are underestimating the huge role others can play in shaping our most formative years, too."

Pointing out that the social cost of late intervention has been estimated to be over £17 billion a year, she added: "The early years are therefore not simply just about how we raise our children. They are in fact about how we raise the next generation of adults. They are about the society we will become."

According to Eamon McCrory, Professor of Developmental Neuroscience and Psychopathology at University College London, the Duchess "has a vision of how she can help transform how we as a society view and invest in the early years for the benefit of society".

Describing her interest in "the role the brain shapes our early experiences and how that sets us on a path to adult life", he explained: "When you look at very young babies and infants, on the surface they don’t appear to be engaging in complex emotions so there's a tendency to underestimate the millions of synapses that are being formed every minute. But science is telling us we have to look under the bonnet.

"There’s no question that for the Duchess, this is a lifetime piece of work. The last five years laid the foundations, now we are entering a more proactive phase.” Described by one source as “thoughtful, professional and determined to do a good job,” there is a sense that Kate has never been in it for the early wins, but the long haul.

As one well-placed insider put it: "She took the job very seriously right from the very beginning. She continues to want to get it right and do her very best - for the institution, for William and the importance of the work she’s doing.

"She doesn't just want to rock up for a picture opportunity, which is why she used to get quite frustrated with all the early focus on what she was wearing. She really cares about this stuff."

Another source said she was "much more fun" than people give her credit for, pointing out how she has grown in confidence having found a cause that she is not only passionate about - but also well informed.

As Lord Hague put it: "She’s been reading the books and had trustees reading the books. People assume her interest in the early years is because she has children – actually it comes from all the adults she’s met." The other key influence has been Kate’s own idyllic childhood.

Brought up in leafy Bucklebury in West Berkshire by her entrepreneur parents Michael and Carole Middleton, pictured below with the royal family, the Duchess has never made any secret of how fortunate she has been to be brought up in a loving and supportive family.

"She always recognised that she benefited from such a great start in life," added Mrs Priestley.

"That’s why sport and the outdoors has always been a key theme for her. She was always asking how those sorts of experiences could be made accessible to others."

For Dame Benny Refson, president of the children’s mental health charity Place2Be, where the Duchess has been patron since 2013, Kate’s grounded upbringing has proved an asset.

“The Duchess listens and people feel heard and valued. It’s nothing to do with privilege. The groups she meets in challenging areas in London don't look at what she's wearing. What makes a difference is that an important person has shown a genuine interest in them. She can relate without passing judgement, which is so important."

Having started out as a reticent public speaker, the Duchess has finally found her voice – and next week she will have a lot more to say.

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. I'm going to put my money on Persephone reuniting with Hades in less than a month. Imagine a few chapters equating a day or two of being sad, then around 25 chapters of those two determined to do something about the "punishment" for maybe a week, then something big and dramatic (possibly Kronos related) interrupts for around 50 chapters, with only like three hours passing, soon culminating in the two seeing each other, running over, and making out.

2. Lore Olympus fans use “it’s a retelling” to defend it but do they realize that by their logic they can’t complain when a piece of media portrays Hades as bad or *gasp* not in a loving relationship with Persephone because it’s also a retelling

Of course I’m not saying it’s ok for Hades to be portrayed as Satan 2.0 but I’m just saying that LO fan can be very hypocritical 

3. I follow a pretty prolific fanartist and they posted a picture of a stern looking man with blue skin, red eyes, and dressed in a military uniform, and saw LO fans claiming they "didn't draw Hades right" because he was wearing white and had dark hair (mind you, the artist doesn't even follow webcomics, much less LO) so they were confused over these fans getting mad at them and how they "stole" from Rachel. It turns character was Thrawn from Star Wars, a character that has existed since /1991/.

4. I'm sorry but PURGATORY???? Rachel can't even pretend to try and be remotely accurate, she's literally just doing her standard WASP viewpoint and slapping Greek names on it and claiming it's researched. The Ancient Greeks' view of the afterlife and death was not how Christianity viewed it, but god forbid Rachel show this in her "super researched" GREEK MYTHOLOGY comic.

5. Man, RS didn't even do slavery how the ancient greeks did (which regardless is bad no matter what) but rather how the american south did it, which is objectively even worse/more cruel than a lot of ancient systems' use of slavery. like how did she pick a bad system and pick the worst possible option in that system to base it around?? rachel we know youre white but this is so??? gross???

6. im just focusing on the fact hxp in this had a NORMAL height difference at one point and rachel was like nah that makes her look too much like an adult, better make her like 3 feet tall in heels while he's a skyscraper and start overemphasizing how childish and tiny she is in comparison. rachel stop being weird challenge (impossible difficulty)

7. idk if it's a just a random conciendence but there is something so ... off in how it seems so many of the LO designs are either ripped from Disney (Hades, Persephone, Demeter, Eros, Apollo) or DC's version of the gods (Eris especially seems like a direct rip off).

8. It's kind of disturbing Rachel seems to think Hades actually looks good for thinking the only thing he can do with the Shades is just suffering, worse suffering, or the worst suffering. The afterlife in ancient greece was not seen as a cruel place, yet Rachels seems to think he's looking cool and charming for it?? Even if it's a "Persephone can fix him" idea (which is so awful to be promoting as "romance") how are we supposed to buy he's "changed" from being a violent torturer and slaver?

9. Even if the "unpaid labor" is supposed to be a joke that's gross to joke about?? I'm all for dark humor but there's a big difference in the "comedy" when it's coming from a literal king who prides himself on always having all the power and wealth for himself and is known for his  physical violence against against anyone he feels slighted by/doesn't care for. Also, it really doesn't seem like a joke, it seemed like him bragging and being upset Persephone wasn't hanging off his every word.

10. Hades also doesn't pay his interns too, which even the worst companies have been paying their interns for years now. He literally makes sure he gets as much money as possible while the rest rot away for his benefit and yet we're supposed to find it charming. Rachel must be a staunch capitalist because I have never seen someone so into fawning over corrupted wealth and power like she does.

[kachuusha]

culmination of a 10 year old bond.

note: this became a lot shorter than I had originally planned. I omitted some parts because they had been talked about by other shippers as well so I just included parts that I thought were important to the point I was trying to make. english is not my first language so I apologize if there are grammatical errors. 

looking back at all the levihan moments from the very beginning of the series, you would notice how isayama laid down the foundations of levi and hanji's relationship and those said foundations played a big part on levi and hanji's decisions in the final arc that involved the other.

remember how in the scene when they where first introduced, levi was being hyped by the townspeople for being humanity's strongest and then there is hanji who comments on how surprised they would be if they found out his clean freak tendencies?

right from the start it was shown that hanji sees a part of levi that doesn't reduce him to simply a weapon. they don't place him on a pedestal because they see levi as a friend first and foremost.

that comes to play in 115. I've seen people say that hanji being the one to find levi had no bearing but I disagree.

levi got injured to the extent where he couldn't move anymore. in that moment it was made clear that levi was not the invincible human weapon people saw him as. if just some random character saw him do you think they would easily risk their all to save him? if you think about it, others might see levi as a lost cause—a soldier who wouldn't be able to fight anymore. that is exactly why hanji being the one who finds levi was imperative—because hanji saw way past levi's humanity's strongest persona. hanji also knows how terrible the repercussions of being hit by a thunder spear are because it was their invention. but of course that did not matter to hanji.

hanji that time was already in big trouble being held hostage and outnumbered by the yeagerists. escaping by themself was already difficult enough but they still rescued a man who is on the brink of death.

hanji saved levi without any hesitation because to them he wasn't merely a weapon to be discarded but rather a person that is precious to them.

another is the way isayama had portrayed how comfortable they are around each other. we've seen their playful banters in the form of shit jokes and the iconic hair grab scene in the anime. the level of trust and teamwork? when they got to walls of shiganshina they were seen to be protecting each other's backs. when they got into eren's basement did you notice now they quickly fell into routine and how insync they were?

and we again see just exactly how comfortable they are around each other in 126. they can both easily let their guard down in each other's presence. hanji voicing out their desire to live in peace with levi. levi admitting his failure to kill zeke. they didn't have to be the perfect commander and captain that moment—they were just hanji and levi who has personal desires and weaknesses.

levi and hanji's way of understanding each other was also heavily enforced by isayama. if you ask me I think this was the very highlight of their dynamic.

in the beginning of uprising arc levi noticed right away hanji's discomfort and then he assured them that pastor nick's death was not their fault. he also encouraged and brought hanji's spirits back into continuing the experiments with eren. I've seen people complain about how levi was being harsh to hanji but was he really? levi just has this tendency to get crass with his words but he means well. when levi was giving eren a pep talk, mikasa commented on how he didn't have to be harsh on eren. he was also getting roundabout with his words and eren couldn't grasp what levi was trying to say so hanji swoops in and interprets what levi truly meant.

isayama even threw in this scene in chapter 106 where the two are seen communicating telepathy. correct me if I am wrong but I think this was the only time we saw something like this happen in the series.

and that deep level of understanding is what we saw in 126. levi asks hanji what will running get them? (pertaining to hanji saying that they should just live there in the forest together) I've seen some consider that as levi rejecting hanji but looking at his words—did he really? he never gave an answer—it was a question. hanji was the one who admitted that they cannot stay there and levi just gave them the push they needed. it was actually very similar to when levi encouraged hanji on how they should proceed with the titan experiments in the uprising arc.

in 132 it is likely that hanji had already anticipated that levi was going to attempt to stop them because instead of saying a statement like "I'm going now" hanji asks him as question—"you understand?" "so just let me go will you?"

despite being obviously pained and against the idea, levi chooses to accept hanji's decision because he respects and understands them too well. because just like what levi himself said in the forest—he knows hanji isn't someone who would like being kept in the dark. that understanding is what enabled levi to be able to let go despite of the pain.

levi conveys his farewell and feelings through a phrase that has a very significant meaning for the two of them—words that he has never spoken before and through a gesture that feels very personal. a fitting farewell for the two remaining veterans of the survey corps who had survived countless tragedies together.

the farewell was very brief and yet powerful. they never needed too many words. was it only a goodbye? or maybe there was something more behind it? whatever it was, it’s evident that hanji understood it. 

the vagueness of it all was so like them because they had always been able to understand each other on a deep level—better than anyone else could.  that final moment between levi and hanji was the culmination of their 10 year old bond.

it was so beautiful how isayama had wonderfully placed these foundations throughout the series and have them fall into pieces at the end. whether you see their relationship as romantic or purely platonic, it is undeniable that their bond was so strong and isayama had carefully written it out.

[ugh-againwiththenames]

So Many Fanfics So Little Time

This is just my list, I have seen so many (but if you want to use it it’s all yours too!).  I’m not a writer.  But I am a hell of a reader. Voracious one might argue. I just wanted to track my progress through the weeds of the absolutely never ending supply of Destiel and Cockles fanfic. 

Read on if you want to see what I’ve read, and what I’ve thought. I am but one person with opinions - some of them may be unpopular - some of them you might agree with, but if you find something you haven’t read here, I encourage you to do so. 

Honestly, this is just so I can track what I have read already, and when my friends ask, I can reference something easily. I have found some different fics on all kinds of ‘best of’ lists all over the interwebs. And I love recs - so rec away friends. 

As someone who reads a solid 40 novels a year typically, I don’t come by the “I read a lot” innocently. I do actually read a LOT.  When not reading fanfic (a new obsession, all things being fair), I usually read a lot of Fantasy/high fantasy, romance/erotica, and or YA (yeah, that was a bit of a ride no?).  So from this one might digress that I like fluffy, cute stories, complicated and supernatural/paranormal type stories, and I sure do not shy away from violence or smut (or maybe violence with smut? *smirk*). 

I have read all of these in the last 2-3 months (I will continue to add as I go). I had never read a fanfic until 2-3 months ago.  A lot of these wonderful people are on here, and I mean you no offence by not directly tagging you - I’m still learning how to actually properly use this site. Links to AO3 are included (and I love you all). 

These aren’t necessarily in any real order - I did read T&S first, followed by 91W, and 4LW...after that it’s just a shit show of Long or Short, Destiel or Cockles - smorgasbord. Some of these are the most popular Fics out there, and others I’ve never seen recc’d anywhere (just sort of accidentally happened upon them).  So let’s get to it, shall we? 

Twist and Shout - ok look. I understand the stigma associated with this one, but it was the FIRST one I read. It was the ball that shot me down the hill, and I haven’t stopped since. So. I loved it. I CRIED like a baby. SOBBED. It was not the quality of the writing but the way the story was developed and delivered. I have Never Cried Like This Reading a Story IN MY LIFE. It’s a rite of passage. Read It and have an opinion - it doesn’t need to be mine.  

Author(s): gabriel, standbyme   https://archiveofourown.org/works/537876/chapters/955188

Ninety-One Whiskey - aka 91W, it is mentioned so much, and is SO worth the read.  I continued my dive into the war fics (not typically my bag really and here I was reading 2 in a row).  There are a couple of followup stories as well to this series (and yes, I’ve read them all).  Although I’ll say that the original is my favourite. I often got lost in a bit of the War/Tactical descriptions, but would recommend it to anyone anyway. Ugh...the “stolen moments”...they were at the same time tragic and the most amazing things ever.  You feel me? no? go read it. 

Author:  komodobits   https://archiveofourown.org/works/2362190/chapters/5214500

Four Letter Word for Intercourse - aka 4LW.  OMG just, OMG. I loved this story. I loved it so much. I think I read it in a day.  Devoured it. It’s so HOT. Just read it. If you haven’t you’re missing out.  LEMME AT IT. I loved “knowing the secret”, and had some major anxiety about that realization dawning (I had to take a breath, and be like, no, no, this is gonna be a mess, but it’s gonna be SO GOOD - I was not disappointed).  There’s more than one work here too - read them all. PLEASE. 

Author: bendingsignpost  https://archiveofourown.org/works/16086839/chapters/37568591

Memories Bring Back Memories (Bring Back You) - This was the first Sobs one I read, but it sent me on a spree.  this is the Memory Loss one.  I have one piece of advice here - read everything by Sobsicles. You can thank me later...just go to her page, and fucking sort to supernatural (or not, read it all!) I’d list them but I’d fucking seriously be here all day.  Also, her tags make me laugh so hard.

Author:  sobsicles https://archiveofourown.org/works/24022945/chapters/57796885

Orpheus - I love this one too, Tattooed!Cas, my LOVE. paired with Mechanic!Dean, my HEART, #help.  Read this one in one evening as well. (I was on a roll).  It’s a one night stand that turns into more (much like my last relationship)....hmm...maybe this is why I was pulled in - although to be fair that is the last similarity to my shitty love life! I do not remember how I stumbled onto this one (tattooed Cas may have been the draw...tbh). Read the warnings though, there is some triggering stuff in this one - but if you can handle it, it’s definitely worth the read. 

Author: sysrae       https://archiveofourown.org/works/2364347/chapters/5220227

Have Love, Will Travel - Can you say no to Stripper!Dean? Cause I sure as hell cannot. Typical sort of character development here with Dean having trust issues, and Cas being painfully awkward...(but in like a super cute way?).  Would Recommend. 

Author: squeemonster   https://archiveofourown.org/works/565455/chapters/1011747

The Inexhaustible Silence of Houses - Change of pace here...It’s got a nice twist.  I didn’t actually clue into how it was going to end until very near the end (maybe I was being oblivious), when the realization came over me and I was...man. I was DONE IN.  I hope that doesn’t spoil (I need some kind of way of remembering them). Voiceless!Cas Hunter!Dean

Author: Askance (doomcountry)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/560268/chapters/1000755

Adagio - This is super short, and super cute. Honestly, I would read the whole thing just for the last line. It’ll take you less than an hour if I remember correctly. Go, I’ll wait. I squeeed. did you? 

Author: noangelsinthegarrison   https://archiveofourown.org/works/1397248/chapters/2928145

Any Little Heartache - super easy read (not in a bad way, but in a ‘you’ll fly through it’ way).  It’s mid-length, not graphic, but really fun hospital AU. HeartSurgeon!Dean / Nurse!Cas - enemies to lovers anyone? Fuck you to Fuck me? yeah. YUM. 

Author: followthattardis https://archiveofourown.org/works/5143376/chapters/11838311

Ad Astra - This is another short(ish) one, just one chapter.  And by that I mean that this is written like a very long poem. Cas as a star who has visited Dean many times over the years of his life, that culminates in 4x01 barn scene. It’s ‘awe’ sad. ‘puppy dog eyes’ sad. The writing format took me a bit to understand what was happening - it’s my lack of poetry knowledge, not the writing.  

Author: nhixxie https://archiveofourown.org/works/1013491

Ad Astra Per Aspera - This is a cute story.  ESL writer, no judgement.  I found this while looking for the one above, and thought the premise looked cute - and it was. Misunderstanding leading to Dean realizing he’s actually Bi.  Miscommunication leading to realization.  

Author: Riverchester https://archiveofourown.org/works/12354336/chapters/28101816

Psalm 40:2 - Time travel post-canon Cas and Pre-series Dean.  If you’re wondering how that works, strap in for this ride, it’s well worth it. 

Author: unicornpoe https://archiveofourown.org/works/30786425/chapters/75992444

Addicted to You - Warlock!Dean/Incubus!Cas - accidental ‘mating’ (I actually really don’t like that word, but there’s sort of no avoiding it in this situation). Cute story.  When you drunk dial a succubus and get an incubus instead...Whatever will we do? 

Author: Ltleflrt https://archiveofourown.org/works/4387346/chapters/9959288 

A Glimpse Beyond - End Fix-it. Not yet complete, 10 chapters so far...I want MORE! Reliving memories Dean/Cas & Sam/Eileen.   

Author: NorthernSparrow https://archiveofourown.org/works/27731689/chapters/67875925

Cas-ti-el - Please I want more...It’s like the story just started. Please write more of this story!! 1 chapter, it’s a trope prompt challenge, but I want it to be a full on story of its own. Imprinted names of their soul mates, Dean doesn’t understand his (because it’s in a different language)...I’m frustrated by wanting this story to keep going. 

Author:  Valinde (Valyria)  https://archiveofourown.org/works/1941591

Our Bodies, Posessed by Light - another short one. Not going to lie, this one took a little getting used to, and I can’t say that I enjoyed it too much for the sole purpose that the premise gave me the willies.  Cas has to vessel jump - ends up in Sam...I got through it, it had a good ending, but yeah, sorry. This just wasn’t for me. 

Author:  obstinatrix  https://archiveofourown.org/works/260289

Peanut Butter Pumpkin Wedding Cake - Waiter!Dean / Writer!Cas - This is so effing cute, just misunderstanding after misunderstanding bumbling around like the couple of dorks that they are. It’s only one chapter. 100% would recommend. 

Author:  Sparseparsley https://archiveofourown.org/works/223962

Destiel, Actually - This is another super cute story, 5 chapters. Gabriel playing a singular role in putting Dean and Cas in awkward positions to push them together.  I fucking DIED at “oh, I am the sub” - needs context, but I guarantee you that you’ll laugh out loud...

Author:  Bexism  https://archiveofourown.org/works/399934/chapters/658398

The Smell Before the Rain - This was my first A/B/O - a big apology to all those who are into mpreg and whatnot, this was my lesson that I am not. this was not for me. Also - I’m a firm Cas (Alpha/Dom) believer, and i’m good with switch Cas, but it’s hard for me to take him being the full Omega here, when paired with the rest I just couldn’t do it. I finished it, but, not my thing. I know now. 

Author: jscribbles https://archiveofourown.org/works/22355230/chapters/53406127

Crazy Diamonds - This is another short one, only 3 chapters - it’s a body swap for Dean, 4x02 him and 2018 him swap places (assumption that 2018 him is “with” Cas).  It’s a super cute little story. 

Author:  pantheon_of_discord https://archiveofourown.org/works/16151642/chapters/37738631

The Breath of All Things - Wheelchair!Dean / Volunteer!Cas.  This is a lovely story, typical Dean self-hatred etc. Triggering for those with suicide warnings. It had me in tears at the end. There’s a really spectacular quote near the end that I found so romantic I screen grabbed it. 

Author:  KismetJeska https://archiveofourown.org/works/994750/chapters/1967519

Kind of a Forever Deal - SummerCamp!AU This is just a really cute and fluffy summer camp AU.  Which is so different from 91W (That’s right, check the author)! I was a little disappointed with the ending, but otherwise really enjoyed this all the way through and was loving all the discovery and young characterizations of all the characters. 

Author: komodobits https://archiveofourown.org/works/999291/chapters/1978478

Everytown, USA - Best way I can break this one down? Wanderer!Dean (listless and without a place in the world, he ends up in a small town...), Twin!Cas (that leads to some fun things). There are a number of points where you’re gonna yell at Dean for doing stupid shit (that are very much in character for him to do), you think, well, yes, obviously you’re going to do that you silly fucking boy [affectionate]; but whyyy? (but we know). 

Author: aileenrose https://archiveofourown.org/works/1797559/chapters/3854836

Chalk and Chainmail - HighSchool!AU, Cas is an artist, Dean LARP’s - it’s cute and angsty. 

Author:  lemonsorbae https://archiveofourown.org/works/804704/chapters/1517551

A Little Patience - Ok. you want smut? This is your story. You want Kink? This is your story.  I actually did not finish this. It got a little carried away in my opinion. It was VERY panty kink oriented (which, while essentially canon isn’t really my kink) so, if you want that Panty Kink on full display? Go forth and enjoy! it  is thirty something chapters, I got to the mid-twenties I Think. 

Author: riseofthefallenone https://archiveofourown.org/works/1750058/chapters/3739232

Control - I REALLY ENJOYED THIS. Which is saying a lot for someone who has already admitted that a Subby Cas isn’t really my HC - so to so thoroughly enjoy a Sub!Cas story? (maybe it’s the tattooes...*wink*). It’s an AU where Cas is the head of a company - Dean is a callboy I guess, for lack of a better term. Just read it.

Author: dothraki_shieldmaiden  https://archiveofourown.org/works/31156601/chapters/76993217

More (I copy pasted the next lot from my google doc, I’ll flush them out later - no i wont...)

Teach Me (short) - movie night in the bunker, things get a little carried away   Author:  Chiyume  https://archiveofourown.org/works/5961327

You Light the Spark (in my bonfire heart) (short) - when cas doesn't realize that dean is unaware of his feelings, super short, super cute                      Author: noangelsinthegarrison https://archiveofourown.org/works/1193910 

Communication Breakdown (short/cockles) - dean ends up in Jensen's head while he films the confession scene, no sexual content Author: jujubiest   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29669601/chapters/72951339

Look What You Made Me Do (short/cockles) -      -  Vegas Con 2020 / jensen comes out with a song     - cute short - no sexual content Author:  green_blue_heller https://archiveofourown.org/works/30251592 Full House (short/cockles) - reimagined version of the rented house story - putting it in order (so to speak). funny / cute / fluffy not explicit   Author: n_nami  https://archiveofourown.org/works/30855827

Cyber Sex (short/cockles) - anastiel https://archiveofourown.org/works/31467086      - shameless post GISH Fest zoom call porn      - Short (very short)

It's Complicated (cockles) - gail_morgan https://archiveofourown.org/works/31434938/chapters/77747519       The GISHtake (short/cockles) - MellyCrazyCoconut https://archiveofourown.org/works/31508099     - cute short post GISH zoom     - oops "babe, really?"  

(10.02.2021 updated) Since last update: New reads - Fuck i’m gonna be here all day - there’s not gonna be as much gonna be NO detail in these breakdowns...sorry! This has now just become a “what i’ve read list” as opposed to a Rec list...

Love, All Alike (Pt. 1 Love, All Alike) - Phantoms_and_Foxgloves   https://archiveofourown.org/works/4555599/chapters/10370646                             - Though The Stars Walk Backward (pt 2 Love, All alike) - Phantoms_and_Foxgloves

And this, your living kiss - opal_bullets   https://archiveofourown.org/works/18083927/chapters/42744872

Come On, Let's Strike a Match (Domination and Submission: a love story pt 1) - anyrei & queerwerewolf ***   https://archiveofourown.org/works/25722478/chapters/62458810    - Playing With Fire (D&S: a love story pt 2)    - We Kiss and the Flames Get Higher (D&S: a love story pt 3)     - Sparking That Old Flame (D&S: a love story pt 4) 

Cinderwings - bendingsignpost Cinderella!AU**   https://archiveofourown.org/works/12847041/chapters/29336421

Linden - fleeceframe Swan!AU**   https://archiveofourown.org/works/33126730/chapters/82236118

No Netflix, No Chill (short) - dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/28764966

Can't Drink You Away (short) - dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/28785792 

Jensen Totally (Does Not!) Snore (short RPF) - Dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/30315717

Dean Ships It (short) - dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/30349434

All about control - wingless   https://archiveofourown.org/works/9151930/chapters/20791243

Aesthetics in Autoerotica (pt 1 Aesthetics in Autoerotica) - relucant   https://archiveofourown.org/works/3885544                                                             - The Ties that Bind (pt 2 Aesthetics in Autoerotica) - relucant

Let's take a drive - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32581027/chapters/80819581 

Enchanted ink - castielslostwings TattooArtist!Dean TattooArtist!Castiel AU ***   https://archiveofourown.org/works/23043622/chapters/55109530

The bones beneath our skin - darknessbound   https://archiveofourown.org/works/24633754/chapters/59515804

The Plot (RPF) - Castiel_Left_His_Mark_On_Me   https://archiveofourown.org/works/2795588/chapters/6274970

The Gentle Force with which you Take Me (RPF) - Phoenix_Ascended   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32110120/chapters/79549183

According to all known laws of Life (Pt. 1 Cursed Metaphors) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29207901                                                          - and he's back (with a mind of his own) (pt. 2 Cursed Metaphors) - sobsicles

Six hundred sundays (and many more) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31158776

Aching in the Absence of you - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31832977/chapters/78811378

gorging myself on you, still can’t get full (insatiable) (Short) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32203291

memories bring back memories (bring back you) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/24022945/chapters/57796885

Dream Come True (short) - bendingsignpost   https://archiveofourown.org/works/28071159

tall grass - aeli_kindara   https://archiveofourown.org/works/13127040/chapters/30030726

asunder (Short) - rageprufrock https://archiveofourown.org/works/62115

Apheresis - bendingsignpost BloodDonor!AU **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32674783/chapters/81056680

we always were but never knew it - frightfullyrude   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32698324/chapters/81119503

In this Louisiana Bar (Short) - fleeceframe   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31764487

The Hitchhiker's Guide to Alternate Universes - n_nami   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32687929/chapters/81092785

my heart a compass - lagaudiere https://archiveofourown.org/works/28629951

Unsound Inverses - sp8ce (not complete)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29836881/chapters/73413300

The Jensen Mistake (RPFish) - fellshish   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31950169

tell me about the dream (Pt. 1 Kids are coming home) - playedwright   https://archiveofourown.org/works/27984813/chapters/68544450

It's handy to know (FIMMF Themed ;)) - RosaMarloes   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31761322

So Says The Sword - komodobits AngelTrueform!AU**   https://archiveofourown.org/works/12597892/chapters/28695592

Communication Breakdown (RPFish)- darkshrimpemotions (jujubiest)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29669601/chapters/72951339

Carry You Home - Casloveshisfreckles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/26982637/chapters/65862916

In the Shadow of your Wings - Enochian Things (Salr323)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/7531294/chapters/17121655

When Harry Met Sally (RPF) (Pt. 1 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood   https://archiveofourown.org/works/7622347/chapters/17351845    - Eight Dildos (RPF) (Pt. 2 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood    - Attention, Please (RPF) (Pt. 3 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood             - Boat Trip (RPF) (Pt. 4 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood

A Winter's Tale - NorthernSparrow   https://archiveofourown.org/works/2654327/chapters/5930561

A Close Shave - NorthernSparrow https://archiveofourown.org/works/3090167

r/supernatural - renrub (short) https://archiveofourown.org/works/27626783

sam reads destiel fics - rebshome (short - funny!)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/33721624

Angel Cookies - noxsoulmate Chirstmas!AU **  https://archiveofourown.org/works/11729640/chapters/26427765

Under The Midnight Sun - NorthernSparrow Arctic!AU **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/16690645/chapters/39143677

Bron-Yr-Aur - mrbluesky (Short) https://archiveofourown.org/works/28225335

The Dean Winchester Beat Sheet - saltyfeathers   https://archiveofourown.org/works/19258594/chapters/45800209

The Meaning On My Skin - saltnhalo   https://archiveofourown.org/works/18005378/chapters/42538133

Red Right Hand (Pt. 1 Murder Ballads)  - Duckyboos   https://archiveofourown.org/works/4306110/chapters/9760008    - Are you the One that I've been waiting for? (pt. 2 Murder Ballads) - Duckyboos   

Riptides - sharkfish   https://archiveofourown.org/works/13230426/chapters/30263556

Damn Fine Ride - Cimorene105 (pt 1 - rodeo) Cowboy!AU** (I’m a horse girl, sue me...)  https://archiveofourown.org/works/14342340    - My Face Just Does This, Sometimes - Cimorene105 (pt. 2 rodeo)    - The Kinkiest Thing I've Ever Done- Cimorene105 (pt 3 rodeo)    - All Signs Point to Love - Cimorene105 (pt. 4 rodeo)    - Monster Love - Cimorene105 (pt. 5 rodeo)    - My Man, The Siren - Cimorene105 (pt. 6 rodeo)    - A Pain in My Ass - Cimorene105 (pt. 7 rodeo)

Astrolabe (terra incognita pt 1) - reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent   https://archiveofourown.org/works/3348812/chapters/7326794    - Drollery (terra incognita pt 2) - reluctantabandon Winter_of_our_Discontent    - Rubrication (terra incognita pt 3) - reluctantabandon Winter_of_our_Discontent

Go Down With This Ship - PorcupineGirl   https://archiveofourown.org/works/8023642/chapters/18370474

Fire and Ice - Castielslostwings (Firefighter/Paramedic AU!) **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/23286295/chapters/55768486

The Structural Similarities of Hunters and Onions - Faster_Than_the_Speed_of_Sound (Short)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/33383101

Castiel Novak's Office, This is Dean - emmbrancsxx0   https://archiveofourown.org/works/22411336/chapters/53545840

Out of the Deep (out of the deep pt. 1) - riseofthefallenone - MERMAID AU! **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/548878/chapters/977676

Dean (and Cas') Top 13 Zepp Traxx - pantheon_of_discord   https://archiveofourown.org/works/10909440/chapters/24256989

I'll Be Good - LittleAngelCassie   https://archiveofourown.org/works/4118334/chapters/9282234

Kenosis - CastielsCarma (Short - part of Destiel ABC collection)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/30411720

[cina-full-moon-xanadium]

Yesterday, I watched the final episode of Saber; and when I was talking about how I felt about the show, I mentioned that I wished it could have pulled off a Blade. Where it had an ending that was so forcefully, energizingly emotional; so beautiful and poignant in so many ways that it recontextualised the entire show for me into something I loved and put all the pieces together. For me, that unfortunately didn’t happen with Saber.

What I haven’t mentioned is that it’s very much what happened with OOO.

Kamen Rider OOO is a messy show. I want to get that out of the way and I want to make that clear. It’s not exactly the messiest one out there given Kamen Rider’s history but it’s certainly far from perfect; you’ve got what I consider a very good, very well-rounded first third; but the middle is a bit... middling? There’s some great ideas and episodes in there but a lot of it gets jumbled up and lost in a sea of conflicting concepts. In particular I found it hard to get attached to much of what was going on; it was decent episodic Tokusatsu but it was missing that spark, that little bit of extra oomph to really sell me on the characters. I’m maybe not putting this as best I can, but I just don’t find a lot of that middle section totally engaging and it did make me reconsider a lot of my feelings towards this show, especially as Ghost right alongside it was nailing the format.

But then Eiji gets the Putotyra medals. And while it gets off to a slightly rough start, you’re suddenly thrown right back into a whirlwind of excitement and emotion with all of OOO’s themes coming to the fore; all of these ideas of desire for one thing, but most importantly the connections forged between all of these characters and especially Ankh and Eiji. Ankh’s turn against Eiji is one of the highlights of the show in a way that we all knew it was always coming, just not how it would happen or what would happen next: how would it resolve? Where would his relationship with Eiji be by the end of the show?

Given this culminates in one of the most beloved, most well-remembered endings in Kamen Rider history; I probably don’t need to tell you that where it ended up tugs super tight at the heartstrings, do I?

It’s the episode and relationship that broke many a person’s heart; that still has people wishing sorely for a follow up 10 years later; that sold about a billion Tajador figures and Taka medals. A relationship so beloved that this very ending was changed in advance as the writer got piles of letters from kids writing in to say how much they wish Ankh got a happy ending. And y’know, when I hear that little story... it’s so on point for what OOO is about? A man who meets a monster and strikes a deal for power; but in doing so, grants the monster a life and soul he could never have dreamed of. Where the monster becomes more like the man and the man becomes more like the monster. Where the monster saves the man with every bit of life he has left, and that’s fine, that satisfies him -- because finally, instead of just existing, he was able to live. 

A story where the monster teaches the man that he can live for himself; that others are there for him; that he can accept help. It’s not a lesson he meant to teach at first, but how could it not happen? This is the big part that resonated for me when I initially watched Kamen Rider OOO a few years ago. It’s a great thing that Tokusatsu is able to do -- it takes morals and ideas that are simple and basic, but understands why those simple basics are important; and crafts wonderful stories around them. Sometimes I did get so lost in the complex world I found myself in in the days following 2016, and watching Tokusatsu helped bring me some sense of normalcy and grounding. Kamen Rider OOO is a show that just... that just made me realise it’s okay to ask for help, and that while putting yourself through so much to help others may come from noble intentions; you need to step back and look after yourself. And those are obvious lessons, but again; the draw of Tokusatsu here to me is how well it teaches these lessons and how well it re-teaches them! Eiji Hino is a character I saw a lot of myself in back then and had such an impact on me emotionally; and watching this ending again really had me crying. I don’t often literally shed tears at media but this moment where Ankh’s disappeared, but everyone else Ankh has touched throughout the show and forged bonds with, become a family with? It got me. It got me all over again.

Through this rewatch, I do feel like my eyes have been opened to the flaws of this show. That it’s not the perfect series I built it up to be in my memories, where every little thing came together and every character was a masterpiece. There’s a lot of things that just don’t work about the show and don’t go as smoothly as they could. But ultimately, OOO is a show that I adored at the time three years ago; that all this time has been such an important story to me and has gotten me through a lot, and it’s difficult to think of many better ways to celebrate its 10th anniversary and Kamen Rider’s 50th anniversary by watching this show, which used to be my favourite - and still ranks very high! - and seeing what I think of it years later. Because I’ve changed a lot, and part of that is down to this show... and again, while it has its problems; it’s Kamen Rider OOO. It’s a beautiful, wonderful show about two men slowly finding themselves in each other with one of the most emotionally striking endings in Kamen Rider history. 

Life goes on!

Anything goes!

The journey goes on!

[minijenn]

And now, because I’m insane, here’s every line of out of context Grandpa Twist foreshadowing I can find in Keys: 

“How remarkable,” the master speaks, but still the boy doesn’t stir. With a smile, the master descends down to his level. He slides several gloved fingers under his chin, tilting it upward to get a better view of the child’s unconscious face. “You really do look so much like him. And even more like her …” (ch. 1)

The master fully turns to face the boy again, a dark, twisted Keyblade flashing into his grip. “Do not think I am trying to derail your destiny,” he says, closing his eyes in cool contemplation. “If anything, my aim is to put you on the proper path. You could say… it's the path that’s always meant to be …” (ch. 1)

“At long last, here you are…” Xehanort proclaims as he extends his arms out wide to welcome his vessel. As he sets the most important piece in place for the game he’s been eagerly waiting to play for 15 years straight. (ch. 1)

Tears have only barely started brimming in his mother’s eyes as she steals a glance at the family photo on the far wall, one taken before her beloved husband had been lost to the sea. Sora does everything in his power to hold those same sort of tears back as he stares at that photo, practically feeling his father’s warm, cheerful smile falling upon him. At the same time, he feels that strange pang of pain, the same one from both the tower and the beach, tugging at his heart once more. Whether it's out of grief, regret, or something else entirely, he has no idea; but the feeling is far from a welcome one all the same. Which is why he does all he can to pull himself away from that feeling altogether. (ch. 2)

(more under the cut bc there are just... so fucking many)

“How are you going to protect me from the darkness...” He stops, only for a second to open his eyes. And when he does, Riku is stunned, horrified to see that they’re no longer the shade of vibrant, welcoming blue he’s always known them to be. They’re a bright, bitter shade of glowing gold instead. “When darkness has always been a part of me all along...?” (ch. 6)

“You are ours…” they urge, an edge of hostility slipping into their otherwise calm tone. “And we are yours… Come back to where you’ve always belonged… Come home to us, Sora… Come home…” (Ch. 7)

“Let me guide you home , Sora … ” one voice rises above the others, a voice some part of his mind almost recognizes, almost knows. He finally stops just a few feet shy of the owner of that voice, his own hand starting to raise to meet theirs. (Ch. 8)

“A valiant effort, that was ultimately for nothing,” Ansem counters. “He was already ours long before you rushed to his ‘rescue’. Long before you ever met him, before he was even born.”  (ch. 8)

“We have been waiting for such a long time…” Xehanort concurs as Sora feels yet another wave of searing anguish rip its way across his heart. (Ch. 10)

The young master lets out a genuine laugh at this, at the mere icy sound of it is enough to unnerve Sora far more than he already is. “Oh, Sora, you already are just like me. In far more ways than you could ever even know.”

“Y-you’re wrong,” Sora calls his bluff before he can even let such a horrifying thought fully sink in. The thought that he has anything in common with his most dangerous, darkness-driven foe.

“I’m not,” Young Xehanort counters without skipping a beat. “But you’ll come to realize why I’m not before it’s all said and done, I’m sure. And until then, that rich, untapped darkness flowing through your body, your blood, your very heart itself, will be an asset that the Organization will be certain to make good use of” (Ch. 11)

“Then, when the time has come and his heart is ready for the taking, we will strip him of that hope, along with anything and anyone he believes he is fighting for,” Xehanort assures his upper vessels with a cold, malicious smile, rallying them to a treacherous, twisted plot that will all culminate in a victory that he’s been carefully planning for decades. A victory that depends on the complete cooperation of his chosen thirteenth vessel, regardless of what cruel methods he might have to resort to in order to get that vessel to comply. “We will tear the boy away from all he knows and loves, and by the time he has nothing left to lose, then, and only then will Sora finally be ready to answer our call to guide him to become what he is truly meant to be…” (Ch. 31)

Xemnas’ cold scowl lifts into an amused smirk upon hearing this as he properly picks himself up to stand once more. “Then it's such a shame that your own heart doesn’t bear that same kind of strength, Sora,” he says, forcing more palpable pain upon Sora from afar. He shudders when it hits him, but otherwise shakes it off, resolved to resist it, to resist any further attempts Xemnas, or anyone else from the Organization, even Xehanort himself, might make at subjugating him. “Now that you’ve willingly hallowed it out from each of the hearts that had once inhabited it, more room remains for the master’s power to take root without any irksome interference interrupting it. There’s no point in delaying your inevitable destiny any longer; it’s time for you to finally take your place among your true family, Number Thirteen…” (ch. 44)

“You both still believe you can save him? Then be my guest to try,” Xemnas scoffs condescendingly. Even so, a dark corridor appears behind him, a relieving sight to Sora, Roxas, and Xion as Saïx steps through it first. “But in the end, you’ll see; there’s no changing a heart that already belonged to darkness long before the life that’s tied to it even began… Sooner or later, Sora, you’ll find your way to your true purpose. And when you do, there we’ll be, waiting in the wings to welcome you home ...” (ch. 44)

“My dad?” Sora repeats as a warm, nostalgic smile fills his features. “My dad was awesome! He always gave the best advice--and the best hugs. He also told the funniest jokes, though he always said me and my mom were way funnier than he was. He used to take me out on his boat and we’d swim in the ocean and build sandcastles together until sunset and…” he trails off with a small, wistful sigh. His smile fades slightly as he grips his crown necklace, a charm gifted to him by his father at a time when his life had been so much simpler, so much calmer than the constant storm it’s turned into now. And as he thinks back on those long-gone days off his innocent youth, Sora can’t help but briefly wonder what his father, who he still respects and admires so much even years after his untimely death, might think if he could see just how far his son has fallen now. “And… yeah… it was great...”

A beat of solemn, saddened silence passes after this, until Aladdin voices the question that the others are all largely thinking. “So… what happened to him?”

“He… he went on a fishing trip one day back when I was 8,” Sora closes his eyes, fighting back the pain that always trails along with this unpleasant memory. “There was a really bad storm and… he just never came back.” ((ch. 45)

“Sure is, kiddo,” his father chuckled, ruffling his hair lightly. “Just like you’re getting to be someday. You know, someone once told me that each and every one of those stars up there is an entirely different world. Isn’t that cool?”

“Yeah, it is!” Sora exclaimed, his eyes wide with immense fascination. “Can we go see another world someday, Daddy?”

His father’s smile finally faltered a bit at this, and it’s only as it does that Sora realizes he can’t see his face, at least not clearly, thanks to the odd shadows concealing it. (ch. 46)

He was all but asleep by the time the lullaby reached its end. Yet right before he could slip into peaceful dreams, his father’s face suddenly shifts into someone else’s entirely. A face that Sora recognizes all too well, but has no time to even be scared of as he drifts off into the dark void of slumber. Though not without his father’s voice--or someone else’s-- bidding him toward it.

“Good night… Sora..” (ch. 46)

Xehanort merely raises a knowing eyebrow at this, giving Sora his unspoken permission to continue. Yet even when he does, the rest of his question comes out quiet and broken, a testament to just how terrified he truly is of whatever answer he might receive. “Why are you doing this to me?” he asks morosely, miserably. “What made you choose me to be your vessel?” “What did I do to deserve any of this?” he almost asks, but doesn’t. Mostly because that’s the one question he already knows the answer to all too well.

The master’s grin widens as he ponders this inquiry, and the initial answer he gives is one that does little to set Sora’s worried wondering to ease. “Sora, I chose you because you were the only choice I could make.” (Ch. 46)

“Isn’t it ironic, how both you and I got our start on a world as small and insignificant as this?” Young Xehanort asks, keeping up a conversation that Sora wants no parts of. “Then again, perhaps it isn’t irony at all that our point of origin would be one and the same. Perhaps, like what this very island is named for, it’s destiny .” (Ch. 47)

Young Xehanort stands by, smiling in muted satisfaction as Sora runs past him, plunging into the portal and leaving his home behind in the process. “Until we meet again, my thirteenth,” he bids him farewell as the dark corridor closes up behind him. As soon as he’s gone, the young master turns back toward the sea, still standing on the shores of his own youth as well as his thirteenth and final vessel’s. Though even then, he knows that this shore is far from the only thing the two of them have in common. “How destined indeed, that you and I would have the same beginning, Sora.” His smile deepens as he pulls something out of his coat pocket and holds it aloft: a small, crown-shaped charm bound by a silver chain, glistening in the dying rays of the setting sun. “The same beginning… and the same end…” (Ch. 47)

At this, both Riku and Kairi step aside, revealing some sort of reflective surface behind them. At first, Sora doesn’t know it’s a mirror as he stares at Young Xehanort, caught off guard by the strangely distressed look on his usually collected face. It’s only as he spots the silver chains keeping the young master bound, notices the way he moves in perfect preciseness along with him, hears him draw in a horrified gasp that only comes out of his own mouth that Sora realizes exactly what’s going on here.

He realizes that he’s no longer Sora at all, not anymore. Because now, he’s become what he’s always feared he’d be. He’s become Xehanort himself. (ch. 48)

“Oh, I know LOTS of things, Keyblade.” Bill’s bright yellow form suddenly changes as countless images flash across it far too quickly for Sora to make aunty of them out. “For example, I know you’ve been out on your own for, oh, roughly two weeks or so, and that you’ve been having one heck of a time living the ‘hobo’ lifestyle you’ve taken up. I also know you can’t go back to any of your friends because the minute you do, they’ll be fitting you for a nice set of shiny new chains inside a cozy prison cell. AND I know that it won’t be long now before the old man finally finishes the job in forcing you into his big happy ‘family’ and-” (Ch. 49)

“No way to stop this? Who told ya that?” Bill sneered, rolling his eye. “Oh, lemme guess! Dear ol’ gramps wanted to scare you into giving up, and from the looks of it, it worked. But you shouldn’t let him get you down, kid! Even he doesn’t know everything , not like I do…” (ch. 49)]

“Sora, please ,” he begs morosely, miserably. “You have to listen to us. If you go through with this, then-”

“Then he will be exactly where he belongs,” Xemnas interjects as he places a possessive hand on Sora’s shoulder. “Finally within the fold of darkness, where he has always been meant to be, isn’t that right, Sora?” (Ch. 50)

“When the time comes, you’ll know,” Young Xehanort says cryptically. “Until then, do as you’ve been told; find the Keys and bring them back to me.” With this, the young master conjures up a dark corridor, one that starts to engulf Sora from underneath. He gasps, terrified of being taken somewhere where he’ll be vulnerable again, where he’ll be alone again. Sora extends a distressed hand out to his master as the shadows swallow him whole, wordlessly pleading with Young Xehanort to let him stay… But just as before, his master hears his unspoken prayers… and doesn’t care in the slightest about them. “And when you do, Sora,” he only barely manages to catch his master’s coldhearted smile before the shadows whisk him somewhere far away. “Then rest assured; you will finally be a part of your Organization. Then… you will finally come home .”(Ch. 52)

As these final words fade out, he carefully draws his hands away from the piano. When he opens his eyes, a tear finally slips down his cheek, one that he’s quick to wipe away as he notices Roger looking over at him in absolute awe. “What an utterly enchanting melody…” he muses, clearly intrigued. “Tell me, where did you learn such an incredible song?”

“Oh, uh… m-my dad taught it to me,” Sora explains, looking away. “He used to sing it to me every night before he…” He trails off, drawing in a shuddering breath as he forces himself to hold back even more tears. He’s never sung that song to anyone else before or after his father’s passing, not even to Riku or Kairi. For so long, it’d only been something kept within their family, a cherished secret shared only by himself and his parents. (Ch. 54)

“It appears you stand at a crossroads, my thirteenth,” Xehanort muses, standing behind the boy as he rests a heavy hand upon his shoulder. “You can either stay here with this loving, yet oblivious family that has given you so much you have lost, only end up “thanking” them for their kindness by killing them when you inevitably lose control. Or… you can leave this world behind and continue searching for the Keys that will open the door to your real family. A family that is more than equipped to handle the kind of death and devastation you are destined to bring. The choice is entirely in your hands, Sora… Let us hope for everyone’s sake that you make the right one.” (ch. 54)

Between the two of them, they soon arrange the rest of the shells Himari had gathered in a simple, yet elegant fashion around the headstone. At first, neither of them say much as they do, wanting to pay their respects in silence. But as the last shell is settled, Himari sighs wistfully as she glances over at her son. “You know… you really are starting to look so much like him…”

“L-like Dad?” Sora asks, suddenly embarrassed as he tries to pin his antennas back a bit. “No, I… I really don’t.”

“You do,” Himari assures. “Well, I-I mean… aside from…” She trails off, knowing she doesn’t have to point out the antennas or the claws or the fangs or any of the other features that make him look less than human. “He’d be proud to see how much you’ve grown since he’s been gone.” (ch. 63)

“The time has come, my thirteenth,” Young Xehanort smiles cordially, warmly, almost. “You’re finally ready to take your place among your true family.” He extends a gloved hand out to Sora as his smile widens ever so slightly. “Come with us, Sora… and you will never be alone again…” (ch. 64)

His hand drifts toward his neck, to what he’d slipped on as soon as he got out of the shower by sheer habit alone. The crown-shaped charm on his necklace shines dully in the colorless light of the room, its metal surface cold as he gently skims his claws over it. His master had told him to remove everything that stood as a symbol of his old life, and certainly, that must include something like this. Tears find their way back to Sora’s eyes as he lightly grips the chains tethering it to his neck, his heart swelling with grief as he realizes what he has to do. But just before he can remove it, he happens to recall the first time he ever saw this necklace. A memory he can’t let go of, no matter how much his master might want him to.

“Happy birthday, kiddo , ” his father had said with a wavering smile when he gave him the charm on the day he turned eight. “I know this isn’t much, but… I hope you still like it all the same.”

“...I still do, Papa…” Sora whispers as he holds the charm close. “I still do…” (ch. 65)

“Hm,” the master hums in what Sora guesses is approval. “It suits you, my thirteenth. I believe you will settle nicely into your new life here, and into the place I have planned for you. You’ve experienced such a grave loss, but something good can still come of this. You’ve spent so long lost in the light… but now, you’ve finally found your place here within the darkness. You’ve found a family that completes you every bit as much as you completes us. You’ve found your way home , Sora. And now that you’re here, you needn’t ever wander or worry again.” (ch. 65)

“That’s right… sleep soundly, my thirteenth…” he whispers as he brushes a few white locks out of the boy’s closed eyes. He reaches down to tuck the crown charm that had slipped out from underneath Sora’s coat back into place, his smile turning a touch nostalgic as he thumbs its smooth metal surface. As he decides exactly when and how to share one final secret with the boy in a castle so very full of them. “Sleep and know that your destined day is almost here…” (ch. 65)

“Almost?” Sora asks, already figuring this is bound to be some kind of trap. But even so, he can’t help but want to know. “What was still here that almost made you stay then?”

Young Xehanort falls into silence once more as his gaze settles on his coffee mug in his hands. He grips it a bit tighter, a wave of what almost looks like nostalgia washing over his features as his voice turns earnest, perhaps even a bit sad. “...Thalassa. Her name is– was Thalassa.”

“Thalassa…” Sora repeats in sudden confusion, as if a long-forgotten memory has started to stir in the furthest reaches of his mind. “That’s weird… I feel like… I’ve heard that name before, but… I don’t remember when or how…”

Young Xehanort slips on a subtle smile when he hears this, muttering something that his vessel isn’t able to hear. “...You will …” (ch. 66)

“...I have no need to,” Young Xehanort replies. “I will see her again when I return to my own time–my elder self has already told me that much. And as strange it may seem, our reunion shall be what ultimately kicks the wheels of fate into motion to this very moment right here and now.”

“Huh?” Sora frowns, absolutely lost. “What does that mean?”

“You’ll find out in due time,” Young Xehanort’s usual sly grin is back, and Sora finds himself frustrated by it. Frustrated by how quickly anything resembling genuine emotions, genuine humanity have left his master so very quickly. (ch. 66)

“But even beyond that destiny… I see so much of myself in you, Sora.”

“Huh?” Sora his eyes and mind both turning heavy and tired.

“You and I have much in common,” Young Xehanort says that very implication aloud nonetheless. “We’re both from the shores of the very same island, both of us ventured out from those shores to the vast worlds beyond, and… we each lost the friends we thought we loved… only to gain something so much better in their place: power… and the promise of a life unending.” (ch. 66)

And then after that the grandpa reveal basically happens lol

[agentnico]

No Time To Die (2021) Review

I swear this movie came out 2 years ago?... Okay, yes, I agree, that was a cheap gag, but look, the constant postponement of this film's release is in itself a joke! Finally though, it is here.

Plot: James Bond is enjoying a tranquil life in Jamaica after leaving active service. However, his peace is short-lived as his old CIA friend, Felix Leiter, shows up and asks for help.

“I’d rather slash my wrists.” Those were the words spoken by actor Daniel Craig in 2015 for a Time Out magazine interview prior to the release of Spectre. Seemingly it felt as if Craig was done with his signature role as famed British spy James Bond, however be as it may have been, MGM managed to sway away Craig’s suicidal thoughts and cut him a cheque with a sum he simply couldn’t refuse and have him return for a proper final outing. Hollywood business at it’s finest, ladies and gentlemen! But the question is posed, was there a need for another Craig/Bond film? For the previous instalment Spectre was such a let-down that it left a sour taste, or at least I think it did. Honestly, I don’t really remember much of what happened in Spectre, it was such a shoulder-shrugging forgettable feature. The answer however is a positive one, for No Time To Die ends up being worth the wait. All this wait. Though I would’ve found it super amusing if this film came out and turned out to be an absolute stinker, as then everyone would just be sat there in the theatre wondering why the hell we’ve been waiting for this movie this entire time. But nope, it’s a good one.

No Time To Die really feels like a culmination of Daniel Craig’s time as James Bond. And with that merit this movie doesn’t actually feel like a James Bond film. Yes, it has the one-liners and the action set pieces and the typical tropes of a Bond film, however the focus here is very much more on Daniel Craig’s interpretation of the character, and how he managed to turn a weapon into a human. For James Bond at the end of the day was always a killing machine. License to kill and all that jazz was always at the centre of what made the character, however Craig’s take brought a lot of humanity and reality to what was a stereotype. And it’s shown more than ever in No Time To Die, with Daniel Craig delivering a performance of vast emotional gamut. His Bond experiences moments of general happiness and actual love (real love, not just his typical one-night stands he’s known for) to then fury and sadness. My fiancée jokingly made a remark at the beginning of this movie about how petty James Bond is acting in this movie. And I agreeably chuckled at first, for to be fair he was getting offended easily and taking everything so personally without giving it much thought, however the more the movie progressed, the more I understood why he was this way. It made him feel more human, and actually made me care for him. Additionally, the aforementioned element of love plays a big part in this film, for romance is truly at the heart of this one. Bond turns out to be a real loving sweetheart, and this all culminated in one hell of a finale, one that really surprised me with it’s emotional gut punch. Look, I see this film’s ending really dividing audiences as it’s not something you would typically expect from a James Bond movie, however I absolutely relished it and saw it as a perfect swan song for Daniel Craig.

The movie is long. In fact, it’s very long. In fact, it’s too long. It runs at nearly 3 hours and yes, there is a lot of story crammed into this but honestly there are many chunks that could have been cut down and the film would have benefitted from it. For the movie is very good, but it has chunks that drag which does cause the experience to be slightly diminished, however that being said, this is a very well directed movie. Cary Joji Fukunaga (who’s previous work I don’t know much of though I have seen his Netflix limited series Maniac with Jonah Hill and Emma Stone which I do recommend highly) exhibits some strong directing here, balancing moments of real tension using unsettling imagery with moments of levity and good character chemistry. Yes, he brings class and the right amount of epicness to the action sequences, but it was actually the quieter moments that I feel he really excelled at. The opening sequence is especially disturbing, with the way Fukunaga displays this lonely isolated house in the middle of snowy nowhere, and we see a mysterious figure creep towards it wearing a mask so creepy it reminded me of that freaky monkey mask from the horror thriller I See You. A shot from behind a sliding glass door I found especially unnerving. 

Performances across the board are all great. Daniel Craig I’ve already sing praise for, however others are to be mentioned also. Rami Malek manages to take a fairly lacklustre villain and present him in proper vile fashion. He’s truly unpleasant and horrible in this role, and I truly despised him which is what made him perfect for the role. That being said the actual character was weak. There wasn’t much meat to him so to speak. Typical Bond bad guy who wanted to see the world burn. Lea Seydoux returns as Bond’s love interest Madeleine and her chemistry with Craig is wonderful and I really enjoyed seeing her character develop more since the last movie. Returning from Spectre too is the villainous Blofeld played by Christoph Waltz, and though he isn’t in the movie much, I weirdly enjoyed him more this time around. In Spectre is was really forgettable and the script didn’t know what to do with him, whilst here is serves a specific purpose and we also get to enjoy a great scene with him in prison having a battle of wits with Bond. Real good stuff. We also have a couple of new Bond girls, with Lashana Lynch taking on the 007 mantle, and it was nice seeing a very different kind of spy in her. Her and Bond bicker quite a bit, however natural they become buddies and they are the better for it. And Lynch can be easily added to the list of powerful badass women on-screen. Ana de Armas also appears in what is a little Knives Out reunion, and unfortunately she’s only in the movie for one sequence, but it’s actually a great sequence with her putting a new spin on the Bond girl stereotype, bringing charm, swagger and humour and riffing off good banter with Craig. Shame we only see so little of her. The likes of Naomie Harris, Ben Whishaw and Ralph Fiennes also return, and even Jeffrey Wright takes a break from pondering What If? scenarios to make a little comeback. 

No Time To Die definitely stands next to the better Daniel Craig Bond films alongside Casino Royale and Skyfall, and it’s a true culmination of all of them, whilst still managing to ignore and forget the existence of Quantum of Solace, which is good, because Quantum of Solace sucks and I can’t believe I even managed to bring it up again!! Regardless, what a way to send off Daniel Craig on a proper high, and really refreshing to actually witness a Bond movie that features feelings and emotions. In fact, it’s pure Valentine’s Day essential viewing, so mark your calendars for next year, as you now know what film you have to rewatch on February 14th 2021! 

Overall score: 8/10

[charmspoint]

how was it ^-^

Let's seee. It was good, perfectly enjoyable, it reads fast and i was never really bored with it. I'd give most chapters like a 7/10 and then chapters 71-82 like 8 or 9/10 and then back to like 7/10 and the ending was weird but also kinda sweet in its own way.

Now to preface anything else: This isn't my type of manga. I can easily see it being a 10/10 for someone who really likes fight scenes and death and gore and what not. I'm not really into that, I'm a character and story driven person which is why the manga as a whole scored as just goodish to me while chapters 71-82 which kinda make a lot of emotional and psychological aspects of the chapters before them come to culmination scored a lot better. You know I don't GET fights. Chainsaw man was very gory but I didn't even really register it. Like because of all the gore I feel I heard people say it has horror aspects but I never really felt scared or off put or anything. It was just kinda like 'oh a lot of people are in pieces rn, okay, that's a thing that's happening'. So yeah that's why the score is the way it is, it simply isn't a manga that focuses on things I like and that's perfectly alright. I couldn't buy into the hype like I did with jjk and I certently didn't feel 'oh this is the best thing ever' like I felt with witch hat atelier.

With all that out of the way let me talk long and hard about Denji and sexual aspects of the series in a surprisingly positive light:

I like Denji as a character. I think he's still a bit rough around the edges but he's not a character made for introspection so that's fine, you really kinda have to take what he says and how he acts and think about it because the author won't do it for you. That being said, I think Denji is probably the most compelling shonen protagonist I've read so far. Like when I read bnha or jjk I see Izuku and Yuji and I'm like 'this is a shonen protagonist'. They are a likable character but they won't be your favorite character. They are largely made for japanese high school boys to project themselves on and I'm not a japanese high school boy. That being said, Denji feels like a character of his own and not something meant to be projected on to. Honestly if anyone projected on to Denji I'd be worried about them. But that makes him probably the most compelling shonen protagonist I've ever read. You just wanna dig a shovel into his skull and go 'man kid ur fucked up'.

I know when you first read csm you were off put by Denji because it felt like a manga put a pervert character as a protag which is naturally off putting and I can 100% see that. Now be it because I was warned about it first or something else, I didn't actually find fanservice jarring at all. It kinda was integrated into the world in a way that made me think 'yeah of course it's like this'. This is a very grim and rough and drty world and things in it would be just like that. It is a story about base desires and sex is one of those. These are people who expect they will die any day now and Denji is a person who's just now getting to experience a somewhat decent standard of living. Here's a thing I noticed though: even as Denji thinks many sexual things (which, he's a teenager, that's normal) he's actually very respectful. I don't think I've ever seen him touch anyone without their permission, in fact i think things like that mostly happen to him. Like example how Power comes in just as Denji is in the middle of his 'i wanna touch some boobs' phase. You would almost expect that what happens next is we see him try to grope Power as she's sleeping or something. But no, he doesn't do a thing until she asks him to help her save her cat and he gets to touch her boobs for it. And it's like this with p much every other sexual encounter through the series. Both partners are consenting and getting something out of the whole thing. Sexual aspects are used as normal bartering chips in a world where your whole body is a bartering chip. It's normal and no one is forced into it. I've told you before that my biggest misgiving with fanservice is that it's often based on embarrassment and unwilling participation of the girls. Like fanservice isn't fanservice because you saw a boob it's fanservice because you saw a boob when you weren't supposed to, when the girl didn't want you, when she's angry or scared or embarrassed because you did. A lot of fanservice feels very much like taking something from the girl, debasing and humiliating her for the sake of watchers/readers satisfaction.

Despite all it's sexual jokes and themes and everything else Chainsaw man never once made me feel like that. It never once made me feel like the author expected me to gain sexual satisfaction out of debasement of female cast. Which is why even though boobs and naked women are literally all over the manga I didn't mind it at all. It stopped being fanservice and became just a natural part of characters lives as sexuality and sex is a natural part of real world.

Back to Denji.

So I mussed a bit about Denji and Maslow before but here it is in total

Denji is 16 years old and at the beginning of the series he's just starting to have his physiological and safety needs met. Like he doesn't live like a human being at the start of the series and Makima recruiting him is A BIG CHANGE for him. Like for a good while Denji is like 'Now I have three meals a day and a place to sleep at so I'm good with whatever'. He's given reliable sources to fulfil his needs and he's given a way to keep those sources stable. He has a job, it's not a good job but he has it. He has a place to live and a theoretical safety net. He's immortal so there's nothing to fear in the death and injury department which means the otherwise unsafe job is perfectly fine for him. Now what Denji gets stuck on through most of the series is Love and Belonging. Because you can't just give someone love like you can give them food (not that Makima doesn't try). People are more complicated. Compromises need to be made and human connections are hard to establish, especially if you are someone like Denji who has no idea how to interact with others aside from obeying orders. This is why his need for love and belonging first manifests as a sexual need (that and he's an allo teenager). Human connections are hard but sexual contact doesn't have to come tied with connections so it's easier (if unsatisfactory as Denji finds out with Power) to achieve. A lot of Denji's personal growth is tied to him finding out that this need can be fulfilled by other things alongside sex. This is why I love chapters 71-82 so much because they are really a culmination of Denji's emotional journey in that category. Along the way along with sexual love he finds romantic one. He wants to spend time with girls he likes, he wants them to like him beyond the sexual. Of course sexuality is always an aspect of it but after that scene with Power it's never the only thing. Human connection, understanding the other person, knowing them, loving them, making them happy. And it all culminates in the familial love he finds with Aki and Power, taking care of someone and being taken care of for no other reason than they are your family and you love them, you care for them, you want them to be well and happy. There's this scene with Power later on when they are taking a bath together and Denji is like 'huh we are both naked but it doesn't feel naughty at all'. He's stopped seeing Power sexually because he started to see her as his sister and it's just really nice, those few chapters we get to see them as a family are really nice.

By the end of the series Denji starts checking off the esteem box too, by people accepting him and loving him and him feeling like he wants to respond to that, but I feel like that aspect and possible self actualization will be more explored in part 2.

There you have it, my essay about why Denji is the most compelling Shonen protagonist I've ever read :)

Also I really liked the girls in this series, it really isn't afraid of letting it's female characters be weird and gross and in Makima's case just plain evil and I appreciate it for that. I just wish Quanxi got more time and things to do but she's a side character and it's not her fault she's cooler than the whole main cast (Power best girl tho).

I feel like I talked a lot already about what was my most important take away from the whole thing but yeah, in general: pretty entertaining read, would probably be a complete blast for someone who's invested in fights, a little thin on psychology and emotion for my tastes but when it delivers them it delivers them good.

Also I like how it basically ended on 'you should give people more hugs' it was cute

Additionally I think the authors idea to basically release manga in seasons like you would an anime is straight up genius I hope that more mangakas start picking this up because it allows them more rest in between big arcs.

Ok now that's it for real this time.

[ilikefandom]

Hello Hello

Genre: Fluff

Synopsis: Backstory and other things

Pairing: Ahkmenrah x Fem reader

Warning: Death - non-explicit

Life at the British museum was not nearly as exciting as life in New York. Ahkmenrah was getting used to hiding, alone, in a corner, on the internet. Amunnebkettoti and Bentres had attempted to trap him back into the entitled manchild he had been before he fell in love with (Y/n).

Being a pharaoh, or even a prince allowed Ahk to have whatever he wanted. He had riches, he had women, he had everything he wanted, except for love.

That is until he went to the market to exhibit his power over some helpless peasants. At least, that was his intention when he saw a young woman drawing water from a well. With the entitlement that surged into his mind, he dismounted from his horse and began to walk over to the girl, making up his mind to take her back home as a concubine.

As he approached, he could hear the humming coming from her mouth. She picked up her two buckets of water and made her way to a small house near the river.

Ahkmenrah, shocked with being ignored, made his way to the hut, anger coursing through his veins. How dare she, how dare she ignore her future king, her god!

As he marched beside the hut, he saw her. (Y/n) was sitting with a collection of children. His eyes widened as the young woman cared for them, giving them drinks of water from one of the buckets. She had ignored him for a reason, she was caring for children. Ahkmenrah’s mouth ran dry as he felt his heart bloom for this beautiful young woman.

When he came back to the palace that night, he went straight to his room, resolving that, if he wanted to win this girl’s heart, he should be kinder to those underneath him.

The next time a servant did something for him, he thanked them, surprising the young boy, who automatically ran off. Over the next week, he found that the more kindness he spread, the more he received. 

The next time that he visited the well, he wore clothes he borrowed from another servant. He approached her meekly and spoke with the tone he had been practicing. “Hello, my name is Akh, I was,” he cleared his throat, “you’re very beautiful.”

The maiden looked at her feet and smiled, embarrassment heating the back of her neck. “Thank you.” She said, her voice quiet and her tone light, “I’m (Y/n).”

Over the course of the next few months Ahkmenrah snuck out of the palace at night, dressed in peasant’s clothes, to visit (Y/n). He learned that the children he saw with her the first time he met her were her siblings, she had 10 of them, three sisters and seven brothers, and that her father was a scribe in the temple of Sobek, which was why they lived so close to the water. 

Despite having two wives of his own, Ahk was falling in love with (Y/n) and her gentle ways. She was always so kind and honest with him. His heart felt so full and he was willing to ask her to join him in the palace, however, he didn’t know if (Y/n) felt the same.

Ahkmenrah told her about his parents and brother, omitting the fact he was a prince, he told her about his wives and how vain they were. He sat with her in the moonlight and spilled his guts about how he felt trapped inside of somebody he was not, he sat with her under the stars, near the Nile until Ra began to exit the Duat. As the sun rose, he picked a lotus flower from the water and handed it to her. “For the prettiest flower of them all.”

He fled from the river and from the warm feeling as the fog lifted from the river. He ran until he got back to the palace and slumped onto his bed, his brain buzzing, his body heavy, and his heart full. 

When Ahkmenrah woke he made his way to the main room sliding into a chair beside his father who gave him a disapproving look. Ahk caught sight of the long line of people to oversee, his heart fell. He took a deep breath and his father called forward the first person. 

With the proceedings going nicely, Merenkahre decided to let both Ahkmenrah and Kahmunrah take turns over them. 

After about an hour, Ahkmenrah caught a glimpse of somebody familiar. ‘Oh-no,’ he’d thought as (Y/n) stepped closer to the pedestal. ‘I didn’t tell her I was a prince’

When she reached the steps, (Y/n) knelt and pulled a roll of papyrus from a bag she carried. She held it out and caught sight of Ahk, her mouth falling open as she dropped the reed paper.

(Y/n) took a few deep breaths before she handed him the scroll, her hands trembling. He accepted it and unrolled the papyrus. She appeared as if she had been crying.

Inside was a detailed plea for help. The Nile had risen so high that three of the nile god temples had been washed away, Taweret, Nepthys and Sobeck, along with dozens of homes, many people had drowned. 

Ahk’s eyes widened, he didn’t realize the difficulties that (Y/n)’s family faced. He moved his eyes further down the page, he caught the glimpse of several names, including the names of three of her siblings and her father, all of her sisters drowned. 

When he tried to meet her eyes again, (Y/n)’s were lowered and he could sense her grief and betrayal. After telling her that the kingdom would copile resources to rebuild the homes and temples and dismissed her, he fled the court room. He only took the minimal time to take off his bejeweled necklace before fleeing down to the river.

He caught up with (Y/n) as she arrived at the remains of the well where they first met. As she met up with him she made a move to bow. 

Ahk caught her hand and raised her to his equal. “Don’t bother, please.” He whispered, holding her hands gently and looking in her eyes. “I love you. I love you so much, I just wanted to protect you.”

(Y/n) looked back at the man who made her heart blossom like the lotus that he gave her earlier. “I… I love you too.” (Y/n) stuttered out turning her hands over and holding his gently.

It took two more years for Ahk to gain (Y/n)’s trust and for them to go public about their relationship. It also took time for (Y/n) to heal over the loss of her siblings and father.

When she finally moved into the palace, the final step in their marriage, (Y/n) had learned the ins and outs of the palace and royal life.

Being the third and only love wife of Ahkmenrah was hard, full of disapproving parents and jealous sister wives, but it was also freeing. All of her brothers and her mother became workers in the palace, solidifying the bond between Ahkmenrah and (Y/n).

All of their love culminated in Akh, the son that they wanted so badly. 

Akh never got to see him and he and his mother did not live long under Kahmunrah’s rule. 

Alone in the British museum, Ahk sighed a breath, he would see them again, and then, an idea popped into his mind. He ran from his cover, he had to find Tilly. 

When (Y/n) moved into the museum her exhibit was busy, as expected for the sarcophagus that was supposed to hold her husband. In New York, she never came to life, (Y/n) only lay in the gold box like the corpse she was, unable to think about anything. 

It wasn’t until one night, when she heard the clicking of hooves of a horse, that consciousness reemerged in her mind.

Akh started to cry, out of fear or hunger or … (Y/n) felt a warm liquid trickle down her leg, he had to use the bathroom. Ever the gentle mother, (Y/n) had only just realized that the tablet must be in the museum. 

She sat up, hitting her head on the lid of her sarcophagus in the process, and attempting to remove the lid. She hit the case a few times with her fist before the lid was opened. As the light hit her eyes, and she unwound her bandages, she saw a group of people surrounding her.

A large smile split her face as her husband pulled her and her son up from the sarcophagus. She was safe in his arms once more.

Athour’s note: Hey my fellow fans. Hope this second instalment to the Ahkmenrah piece is to your satisfaction. Criticism and requests are always welcome. This was actually a request, my first request. Thanks guys!!! If you want to be tagged please let me know.

Tags: @ajenbyqueer2020  @decaffeinatedwerewolftraveler

[orsuliya]

Dear General, just talk to your wife!

Let it be said: any male hero who interferes in his partner’s reproductive ability without her permission and/or knowledge is usually immediately cancelled in my eyes. That is certainly the case for any piece of media set in modern times. Fantasy/historical heroes get a bit of leeway depending on the cultural context, although not always. But the thing is, just as there are no blanket excuses, there are also no blanket condemnations. And you know what?

I do have to give Xiao Qi a get-out-of-immediate-cancellation card in this case! But not before examining his motivations and all mitigating circumstances. To be clear, I’m up to episode 37 at the moment.

So prepare yourself for Five Reasons Xiao Qi Is Very Much Not Cancelled (But He Certainly Deserves A Very Stern Talking To And Then Maybe A Hug).

To recap: Xiao Qi was told that Awu’s health is fragile and while she is able to get pregnant, any pregnancy is very risky and a considerable danger to her life. Upon hearing this he is visibly moved; three months later, when Awu comes back from the temple, there is a re-do wedding at the Yuzhang Manor, during which Xiao Qi announces that Wang Xuan is going to be the only woman in his life. At some point – either at the temple or after the wedding – Awu starts taking medicine prescribed by the Imperial Physician. The medicine, as Auntie Xu later discovers, is actually a tonic, which can be used to prevent conception. Eventually, though, after a year or two of continuous use, it will render a woman infertile for life. As of episode 37 (41 if I choose to trust the raws) Awu does not know what is going on.

And now onto the list!

1. The man is probably the most panicked he has ever been in his life and his mental state is not that great at the moment.

The first thing to remember is that this whole ‘let’s make Awu infertile’ decision is not taken in a void. It is not a case of an isolated event; the choice comes at an end of a veritable Trauma Conga Line. The exact timeline is very muddled, but in the last few months (up to a year) Awu has been: kidnapped, rescued, attacked by assasins, forced to deal with a rebelling city and then a siege, sent straight into a murderous conspiracy and then recruited to deal with a coup… and only then she was put in the very centre of a second coup courtesy of Daddy Wang. Which caused her to lose her child and her mother on the same day. And let’s not forget all the broken illusions about her family and her first love. That’s a lot to deal with and she is pure steel with a spine of titanium, there is no doubt as to that. But she is not the only one who’s had a really hard year.

From the kidnapping onwards Xiao Qi has been with Awu on this road; more often that not away from her physically, true, but from the moment he declared her his wife who will share his life and death…? He’s been in 100%. And being the strong, dependable, ride or die guy has taken its toll, one way or another.

It is quite noticeable that with every Big Damn Heroes moment he pulls off he gets more and more affected. The bridge rescue and its aftermath? Cool as a cucumber; the guilt and responsibility is certainly there, no fear though. Breaking of Huizhou siege? He’s proud as hell of her accomplishments, but he really came at the very last moment – she was getting ready to be killed rather than taken hostage. And there is this noticeable undertone of relief there. The Red Wedding? By then he is panicking. Hard. Which he readily admits, so it’s not pure conjecture. This man, who has never been afraid of attacking armies and not really afraid of death either, is scared as f***. Mind you, it’s not like he’s ever had anyone to be really scared for before; his soldiers are a different case altogether. And this time he was late, which makes for a really fertile soil for various ‘what-ifs’ during those two days when Awu is unconscious. He was late despite basically pulling off a miracle and risking entering the capital with only 10 000 troops.

And then and only then Daddy Wang pulls out all the stops. Two days of watching his unconscious wife is nothing compared to what happens then. First she runs into the middle of opposing forces, completely disregarding any danger to herself. For him (and her father, but that is beside the point)! I am sure that Song Huaien relayed her words to Xiao Qi once the dust settled. Then... Princess Jinmin dies and Awu starts bleeding.

After… After he claims responsibility for Princess Jinmin’s death. There is no doubt he is feeling doubly, triply responsible for the miscarriage. He can’t really help his wife. And he is grieving for their child. Not only for Awu’s sake, but for his own too.

It all culminates with the Imperial Physician telling Xiao Qi that there is another battle to be fought, one which Awu will probably enter with minimal hesitation and in which he is not going to be able to pull a Big Damn Heroes rescue. So in that moment he clutches at his heart… And – at least I think that’s the moment - takes a split-second decision: NOT AGAIN. Everything after that? He’s only holding to a chosen course.

2. He is feeling guilty as all hell and is overcompensating hard.

Xiao Qi is the epitome of a hyper-responsible hero. And not in the ‘Woe is me, everything is my fault!’ way that brooding heroes tend to veer to. No empty anguish or dramatic self-flagellation there! He is very matter of fact about both his responsibility and perceived guilt. Soldiers die under his command? He will honour their memory and take care of their families. Awu gets kidnapped by his personal enemy? He will admit his guilt without any excuses and offer recompense. Princess Jinmin becomes a victim of a stand-off that he did not even provoke? He will take the blame and then redeem himself by swearing an oath that he will not fail to protect Awu. And he takes his oaths very, very seriously, otherwise the Ma family would have a Really Big Problem.

All that responsibility comes from both his own character and the force of habit. Nobody ever worries about me, he says. To his soldiers he is the strong, infallible one and so he keeps this facade intact despite knowing it’s a load of bull.

So this hyper-responsible man has unwittingly sent his wife into danger, into battle (!) three times already (kidnapping, rebellion in Huizhou, Zilu’s coup) and was part of the reason she entered the fourth one. And while she has acquitted herself brilliantly every time, she paid a very steep price for saving him/the Empire. In his mind, he owes it to her and to Princess Jinmin for it to never ever happen again. And so he is not going to send her into the battle of childbirth for anything under the sun! The thing is, Awu is brave as hell and would enter it willingly in a blink of an eye. So he is arranging things so that she can never do that in the first place.

3. Xiao Qi is trying to spare Awu from mental and emotional anguish. It’s a pattern and one wildly spiraling out of control.

It’s really, really starting to show that Xiao Qi is used to being regarded as the infallible one, the one who must always find a solution and save as many people as he can. And while it is not a problem in Ningshuo, when he needs to tell Awu the truth about her father (and still he hesitates!), it tends to come through quite strongly in moments of stress and/or danger. Which is understandable, I think. In Ningshuo the stakes are not as high, everybody is safe and they are in the middle of Xiao Qi’s fortress, the very centre of his power. If there is any place he feels safe and at home, it’s right there. The capital is a wholly different kettle of fish; even on his first visit Xiao Qi is – quite reasonably – wary and on guard. For him the capital is behind enemy lines. So he reverts to his Infallible General mindset more and more: he keeps telling Awu things, but not all of them (money) and not always immediately (Hulans asking for a bride). Which is really stupid of him since Awu is in many areas just as smart - if not smarter - than him.

It’s not only the Infallible General mindset, though. In fact, that is the least of the problems there. By this point the panic is really setting in and so is the guilt. There is one more thing, though. Xiao Qi has this tendency towards self-deprecation. He does not wallow in it, but the undercurrent of his perceived social inferiority emerges from time to time, moreso in the capital. And it does factor in his behaviour; I sense that he has this need to keep deserving her. Coupled with devotion, it pushes him into a very touching, but also potentially dangerous single-mindedness.

Saving Daddy Wang by kneeling all night long clearly shows that Xiao Qi will stop at nothing to spare Awu’s heart, life and health. Personal pride? Enmity towards Daddy Wang? Political expedience? Disregarded completely. So what’s a year or two of lying if it means Awu lives? He’s set himself a Goal: protect Awu, just as he promised before Princess Jinmin’s grave. And it’s really been blinding him since.

Notice that he did not tell her about saving Daddy Wang either. She had to find out from His Imperial Spudness! True, it all worked out fine then, but whatever his reasons, he still did not tell her. And yes, I get that his reasons were really noble, but! But it is still a pattern, one that I hope she will break him out of rather sooner than later.

4. He is making a great sacrifice too; hear me out! And he does not leave himself an out.

This is the kind of argument that launches a flaming discussion, so please, be gentle. Anyway, we are not going to speak of whether any man has the right to make unilateral decisions about his wife’s body, that’s neither here nor there in this case, since it does not really enter into consideration in the drama itself.

What is clearly very important in the drama is the idea of family lines. The Wang and Xie families are all about this idea of legacy and bloodlines. Bloodlines are Important: propagating the bloodline is Wang Su’s main duty and both families fight over whose blood will sit on the throne. This clan mentality is clearly a Very Serious Business. Admittedly, Xiao Qi is an outsider to the clan-based society of upper classes. But even though his primary social group consists of his brothers-in-arms, he is very acutely attuned to the idea of family being the most important thing. It shows in many aspects of his life: in the care he gives to his soldiers’ families, in the consideration he gives Awu when she encounters another heartbreaking truth about her relatives and in the way he seems to take for granted that she will not stop caring for Daddy Wang no matter what. Also, he clearly likes kids, the mysterious shadow child gave us this much.

So it is not out of the realm of possibility that he would really like to have a child of his own. And why wouldn’t he? Awu may have trouble bearing him children, but there is nothing stopping him from taking a concubine or a dozen for this very purpose. Any other man in this drama would have (maybe except Zilu…?). And the society would not judge him, especially if the truth about Awu’s condition came out. It really is not a monogamistic society. Moreover, since Daddy Wang is not in the picture any more, nobody can even try to force Xiao Qi to keep to one bed (or poison his concubine…), not with his current position and power.

And what is the very first thing he does after Awu comes home? He declares – in public and with great pomp! - that Awu will be his only woman, thus staking his honor and reputation on all his children being hers. Which with the tonic in play means that there will be no children. It is a decision he takes very deliberately and in direct response to the previous events and the Wangs’ fall from grace. In fact, I wager this whole monogamy clause is a way not only to quell the rumours and stop any scheming families in their tracks, but also to keep things fair as much as it is even possible. Awu will not have children, well, neither will he.  

5. He is setting himself up and preemptively hogging all the guilt and blame.

The short yet very poignant exchange with Pang Gui in episode 37 makes it clear that Xiao Qi knows quite well he is going to be found out sooner or later. Sure, he would rather that Pang Gui kept mum about everything, but in reality he leaves it wholly up to his judgment. Which tells me that Xiao Qi is not willing to ‘kill’ for this secret. In fact, it might suit his plans if it were to come out… though not at the moment. Maybe after the requisite year or two, once Awu is no longer in any danger. Relying on what we know about his character, I think he is wholly prepared for the truth to eventually come out and then to take all the blame. And I mean ALL the blame. As in: Awu will have no reason to blame herself for her fragile health and thus inability to bear children, if it’s actually Xiao Qi’s fault. He will have gotten her infertile, so her actual ability to give birth safely will be immaterial. She will put all her anger on him and not on herself, and anger he can take, it’s her getting quiet that he can’t cope with. And to hell with what it does to their marriage, she will be alive. Is it stupid, stupid thinking? Sure. But quite probable when you’re dealing with a man this hyper-responsible and clearly unused to family dynamics.

And that’s that. Do I think he is being a single-minded fool? Sure. The man is not perfect after all! Does he need to talk to Awu? Of course, but I get where his unwillingness to do just that comes from. Is it going to bite him in the ass really, really hard? Oooooh, is it! But Xiao Qi is not cancelled and if Awu forgives him, then so should we all.

[jckelly]

updated intro / jack 101

Is that JACK KELLY? Wow, they do look a lot like VAN MCCANN. I hear HE is an NINETEEN year old FRESHMEN who are studying AEROSPACE ENGINEERING  at Luxor University. Word is they are an ARISTOCRAT student. You should watch out because they can be PHILOPHOBIC and INSINCERE, but on the bright side they can also be WITTY and IMAGINATIVE. Ultimately, you’ll get to see it all for yourself. [YUNI, 21, GMT, SHE/HER]

 the other two got updated intros n rat man felt left out

basics

full name: jackson noel kelly 

nicknames: jack (does not answer to jackson)

date of birth: december 25, 2001

zodiac: capricorn sun, leo ascendant, sagittarius moon

nationality: dual uk and us citizenship

sexual orientation: straight but will try anything once

course: aerospace engineering

appearance

faceclaim: van mccann 

voiceclaim: van mccann

ethnicity: white (english, irish)

height: 5′8 / 173cm

weight: 58kg / 127lbs

eye colour: blue

hair colour: brown

distinctive features: freckles (many), left ear pierced, scars on his wrists usually covered by long sleeves, northern english accent

clothing preferences: jack prefers to only wear black, or at a push grey, although he’s slowly improving and will Occasionally mix it up with ... navy. his style is pretty basic, usually just a sweater, jeans, and beat up black converse or doc martens depending on how emo he’s feeling. the sheffield united hoodie makes an appearance every time someone forgets precisely which uk city jack is from. 

personality

overview

positive traits: witty, imaginative, perseverant, passionate

negative traits: philophobic, disloyal, insincere, callous

mbti: entp

religious beliefs: atheist

description

the first side most people see of jack is the side he wants you to see. a total asshole. it’s not an exaggeration - he’s pretty much infamous for flirting with everyone, dating anyone and as a serial cheater. he’ll actively try to worm his way into your life, and then just when you start to care, he does something to hurt you. he’s strangely persistent, probably helping him to push people even further, until they snap. there is nothing which satisfies him more than managing to wind people up to the extreme, get them to the point where they give up. adopted parents, friends, nobody is immune to this side - he even tries it on the people he genuinely cares about, as if just to see if he’ll still be able to push them away.

the second side, which most people don’t see, is that at heart jack is a kid. he’s the type of person to ask if owls have ears at 3am, or get some childlike joy out of dumb jokes. of course, this is the side nobody but a very small number of people see. and even if you do see it, it never lasts long. he keeps his true personality under wraps even amongst those he does like, and it only slips out if he’s extremely comfortable with you. otherwise, he’ll go straight back to being a sarcastic, flirty piece of shit.

biography

jackson noel kelly was born in hell on ironically christmas day to his father satan......

jk

jack and his older half brother finn were born in sheffield, united kingdom, to a single mother. a drug addict, she was notorious among social workers for neglecting her children and as a result jack shuffled between foster homes and his mother’s home during his first ten years of life, with finn, less than four years older than him, being his primary carer even when he was back with his birth family. this cycle finally ended when jack was ten and he was permanently removed from his mother’s care, and placed in the first of a series of foster homes which didn’t last particularly long.

the thing was, jack’s remarkably good at pushing people away when he wants to, and as he got older his talents only increased. running away, wreaking havoc, insulting anyone who tried to get close and anything else he could possibly think of meant that for three years he lasted no longer than eight months in any one place. in fact, he frequently took himself back to live with his birth family until social services came to drag him out again. this lifestyle continued until he was fostered by his now adopted parents, claire and george, at thirteen.

much to jack’s dismay, no matter of hell raising would push these newest set of parents away. in fact, they seemed absolutely set on raising him as Their Son, even as his attempts to get them off his back got more and more extravagant. they removed him from his previous school, transferred him to a fancy private school, put him in therapy and tried their best to help him get through all of the issues developed through his slightly fucked up childhood.

the thing was, jack loves his mother. he still refuses to see her as being in the wrong, no matter what people tell him or what he himself recalls, in his mind he has one mother and that’s his birth mother. so he did not take kindly to attempts by his foster parents to become his “new” family, because in jack’s mind? he already had a family. and even though they were actively encouraging him to continue contact with his brother, he couldn’t help but see them as trying to replace his birth family.

jack’s fifteenth year pretty much became the year when all of these issues finally came to a head. he was adopted legally by his foster parents, who had now been fostering him for two years - which should have been a happy occasion, but for jack represented the final loss, the final betrayal to his birth mother and brother. then shortly after his fifteenth birthday his brother went to prison at eighteen for grievous bodily harm, having glassed another boy after an argument.

of course, it would later be revealed that in actuality the assault had been committed by jack. and that finn was simply covering for him. (they looked alike enough that questions were not raised, it had happened so fast.) but in the eyes of jack’s adopted parents, finn was now a dangerous offender and jack had to be protected from him. so he was then isolated from his brother, his mother had relapsed and his continuous guilt over being adopted played on his mind, culminating in a suicide attempt in march 2017. 

of course, he wasn’t successful, but this was the final straw in the minds of his adopted parents. they felt jack needed a fresh start, away from the people who had defined his life prior to that point. so by his sixteenth birthday, jack had been moved to the united states to be near the family of his adopted mother, and subsequently enrolled in luxor academy. 

where he continued to be a menace :))

although it did appear, for some time, that jack was showing signs of improvement. sure, he was still wreaking havoc at luxor. but at home, he had calmed, even showing signs of affection to his adopted family. until his mother overdosed suddenly and died when jack was eighteen and things started to immediately go straight downhill again.

he can’t help but blame himself, for allowing himself to be moved. for the move being his fault, if he’s being honest. and if the honesty continues, jack’s got a whole lot of other stuff to blame on himself. (see: ruining his brother’s life.) so now he’s just taking shit out on everyone to try and make them a fraction as miserable as him. 

npc connections

birth fam

finn kelly / fc: jake bugg / b. may 10 1998 / taurus sun, gemini ascendant, pisces moon

finley, who also refuses to use his full name, is jack’s older brother - same mother, different father.  jack thinks he’s boring because he doesn’t raise hell with every opportunity. finn calls this “being a sane person.” went to prison for jack and regrets it. pastimes include crying over murakami books and trying to look shocked when jack tells him about the newest crisis he’s having. 

lauren kelly / fc: elena tonra / b. february 20 1983 - d. april 1 2020 / pisces sun, aries ascendant, leo moon

jack’s birth mother, who was still a teenager when he and finn were born. she was an on again, off again drug addict and had jack removed from her care when he was ten due to continued neglect. instilled in him a love for oasis and a hefty number of mental health issues. looked pretty much exactly like jack. 

jordan taylor / fc: alex turner / b. october 12 1984 / libra sun, leo ascendant, virgo moon

jack’s birth father, who he knows little about. not for lack of trying on his father’s part, who was prevented from seeing jack as a child by his birth mother and blocked from trying to make contact by jack’s refusal to interact. he keeps trying to message jack and jack is running out of daddy issues memes to respond with. finn thinks jack should give him a chance to redeem himself. jack thinks finn should fuck off. 

adopted fam

claire fielding / fc: julia roberts / b. may 12 1964 / taurus sun, cancer ascendant, leo moon

jack’s adopted mother. loves him very much and is convinced he is a sweet boy who just needs love and help. has written a memoir about adopting jack. jack is mad at her constantly. when he is not mad at her, he is embarrassed by her existence. honestly deserves better.

george fielding / fc: timothy olyphant / b. november 6, 1963 / scorpio sun, capricorn ascendant, virgo moon

is proud of jack, but very deep down underneath a strong layer of calling jack out on his bullshit. has some loud ass shouting matches with jack. also really wishes jack would sort his hair out and maybe not look like a cheap liam gallagher. jack honestly just winds him up constantly and he knows jack is doing it but goddamnit it’s so hard to not be mad at the little rat. 

other

maisie adeyemi / fc: yewande biala / b. january 6, 1997 / capricorn sun, sagittarius ascendant, aries moon

finn’s fiancee. her goal in life is to try to get jack to ruin finn’s life at least 70% less often. she has yet to achieve this goal. her love language is setting finn’s phone to silent when he goes to bed to stop jack from phoning in with some sort of random crisis at four in the morning because the little shit forgot timezones exist. finn will never find out. maisie is grateful that men have no brains.