#this picture is still altering my brain chemistry

[snowddeong]

Taking a short break from writing and I'm back here

Genuinely why is she like this? Like actually why????? Thirst trapping is in her dna atp istg she could have shown us this tangerine IN LITERALLY ANY OTHER WAY. It's like she knows and enjoys that her stans are a coalition of deranged gays

[l8ncestroll]

This is MY blog and I’m sick of pretending I don’t have a big fat crush on this man

He’s actually SO yum, SO boyfriend material and so criminally underrated, neither god nor satan can stop me from thirsting over this man!!! So anyway I’ve dumped all my insanity under the cut

- HIS HAIR!!! It’s so fluffy and it has so much volume that I’m JEALOUS

- And it still looks good when he’s all sweaty post race and it’s all messy and he looks all disheveled and skrunkly

- I would sell my left kidney to have him put his head in my lap and let me play with his hair

- I WANT TO PULL IT

- listen if he was hovering over you or had his face between your legs you can’t convince me you wouldn’t want to be pulling on his luscious locks while he ruined you and that is that.

- And you could look into his big chocolatey eyes all the time, like can you imagine standing chest to chest with that man and looking up and seeing those big hypnotic eyes? I think I’d melt

- he would give the best puppy eyes ever if he wanted something from you, eyes all wide and needy, just to switch up and look at you all smug and smirking when you do exactly what he asked of you

- I just KNOW when that man makes out with you it’s FILTHY, please tell me other people have noticed his big pouty lips and how goddamn long his tounge is??? Otherwise I might just sound insane but IVE SEEN PICTURES OKAY

- ANYWAYS, I’m talking holding you close for dear life, him taking your face in his big hands, starting with small gentle pecks all over your face but quickly turning into the most disgusting make out ever, biting each other lips and sucking each others tounges, licking each others faces, him fucking up your neck so bad you’ll be in turtlenecks for the next three weeks and you nibbling on his jaw, all rational thinking out the window and no concept of time.

- piggybacking off that last thought, he just knows that his facial hair makes you feel some kind of way

- “hey babe do you think I should shave?”

- JUST to tease you and have you panic, to watch you try and come up with any serious good reason that he shouldn’t, whilst he really knows you’re only worried about the beard burn on your thighs being a thing of the past.

- A while back I saw someone on here call him beefy and I think that altered my brain chemistry

- because YES

- He IS beefy, he’s tall and broad and muscular, you just know that he’s strong enough to snap your neck if he wanted to but he hasn’t!!! And you’re still alive!!! So obviously he likes you!!!

- He’s so sporty too, out of formula one he’s definitely the sportiest of all the drivers, always skiing, or playing padel, doing all of his little side quests

- The videos that float around of him playing ice hockey????

- So hot I wish Canada was real

- He looks so confident and aggressive and in his element when he’s playing. I feel like creating an ice hockey x figure skater AU may be in order because the potential of that is endless

- I have so many thoughts about him in the big scary hockey outfit, stood next to his girl in her figure skating dress

- Now he KNEW, about the contrast between him and his girlfriend’s looks, size, aesthetic, or whatever you want to call it. But he’d never seen it displayed so clearly, him looking all big and burly and ready to play ice hockey versus his sweet little girl, looking all cute and delicate ready to figure skate? Definitely fucked with his head, also definitely turned him on, which you definitely noticed and definitely poked fun at him for, while secretly being just as turned on if not more.

- He’s definitely the possessive protective type, he insists he doesn’t get jealous but it’s only because he doesn’t let himself be put in that position

- Why should you go up to the bar alone? What if a guy tried to hit on his girl and he got jealous? He wouldn’t be having that, so he walks you up to the bar himself and cages you in, hands either side of you while you order, and while you’re looking in your bag for your purse to pay, he’s already swiped his card.

- Even if he was too tired or drunk to keep getting up with you he’s not letting his girl go on her own, he’d rather spend a small fortune on bottle service than send his girl to the cesspit that is the bar in a club

- I see him as the type to love a bit of cliché flirting too, weather it’s the first time you’ve met or you’ve been married for 10 years? That man is GOING to flirt with you, countless little compliments, always pulling out your chair or opening doors for you.

- DEFINITELY the type of guy to do the hand thing, because yeah he wants you too see how much bigger his hands are, but mainly he does it for selfish reasons, it sets alight something carnal and animalistic inside of him to see your feminine little hand against his, it just does something to him when he gets to watch the surprise on your face at how big his hands are (because let’s be fr that man has BEAR PAWS), him looking at you, watching your thought process

- which would probably be something like: aww this is so cute and cliche, okay let’s do it, woah, his hands are huge, or are mine just small?, no I think it’s definitely him, maybe it’s a mix of both, DAMN his hands are huge, damn, hmnnn, he could fit both of my wrists in one hand, 🤭, his fingers are so big…, they’d feel so good on my…, shit he’s watching me😧

- and even though you never said a word he read every thought you had from your face.

- I don’t know if anyone other than me finds this super sexy but he’s so quick witted, in challenge videos he just seems to think for a few seconds and then have some weird solution, or when people ask and uncomfortable hard to answer question, he just takes a second and then comes out with the perfect response, weather it’s a joke or a distraction or a tactful answer, he’s good at using his words

- He seems to like talking a lot too, don’t get me wrong in press conferences and most media things he’s a brick wall (understandably tbh) but in other situations when he’s comfortable and happy he seems to have a lot too say

- do you guys see what I’m getting at?

- he definitely talks you through it.

- I mean just think of him sat up on his knees between your spread legs, “you look so pretty right now, wish you could see what I’m seeing”, and then leaning over you to slap his tip on your clit, “you gonna take it for me like a good girl darling?”, then running it up and down your slit, spreading you’re wetness all over himself, “you’re fucking soaked already, I’m flattered baby”. Him just repeating “fuck fuck fuck” over and over like a mantra when he finally presses into you, “fuck you take me so well”

- idk i just can’t see him being quiet at all, if he’s not running his mouth then he’s groaning breathily right in your ear, enjoying how he can feel you clench around him every time he makes a particularly desperate noise.

- Also he has a praise kink I don’t make the rules, this could definitely make a cute fic actually, reader not knowing about him having an absolutely desperate need for her praise, and rather than just asking for it (because then in his mind it doesn’t count) , he goes above and beyond all the time in every aspect of life desperately chasing after slivers of praise from you to get his fix, and maybe as a prank or a joke or a TikTok trend one time you call him a good boy and he just goes absolutely feral and then you put the puzzle pieces together

-okay I’ll stfu now but before I go I have pictures that relate to this to share to really prove my point that I’ll leave at the bottom of this, (in order, beard, hands, eyes, sexy asf, why he pulling that face? ,And hair)

- anywho I’m so deeply sorry for bringing my depraved obsession to the internet, BUT if you fuck with it at all or wanna talk to me or add anything my ask box is OPEN and my anons are ON

- also I’m considering starting to write again so if you have any tips or inspiration I’m totally open to that even if it’s criticism or whatever

[loki-cees-all]

Space Oddity {Avengers!Loki x Female Reader One-shot}

Cee's Loki Fic Masterlist / AO3 Link

Pairing : Avengers!Loki x Female Reader

Summary : While preparing for Stark Tower’s Halloween party, Loki misunderstands the point of a Halloween Costume. Luckily he has you to help him navigate such tricky waters. 

W/c : 10k words

Content / Warnings : Established Relationship, Fluff, Smut, Loki being a little massive shit and also a silly goose.

Author's Note : Last year a certain LIFE-RUINER (affectionate) dressed up as Ziggy Stardust/David Bowie/Aladdin Sane for Halloween, and it permanently altered my brain chemistry. Because of (or in spite of?) the ensuing brain rot, it took 11 months of me staring at that picture to finally come up with an idea to include Loki in that delicious little mix.

P.S. I do recommend listening to Space Oddity by David Bowie while you read this. If you start the song at "Humanity’s wide variety of music..." then depending on your reading speed, the song's first Verse should start right at the big reveal 🤭

18+ Only - Minors DNI

⊱ ─ ༓ ── ⋅•⋅⊰ ─ ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ∙ ⋅ ─ ⊱⋅•⋅ ── ༓ ─ ⊰

A crisp, hazy mist obscured your view of the ground from the 22nd floor of Stark Tower. Sunrise was yet to fully finish, and the Earth below was quiet, still adjusting to the uneasy transition from slumber to consciousness. Within that ambiguity, it was easy to believe that you’d somehow awoken on an entirely new planet. 

You often wondered what that was like, to feel the soil from an uncharted world give way underneath your boots. To feel a breeze coming off an ocean no other human had ever seen before, or to look up into the night sky and see the stars of a brand new galaxy. How colossal, how surreal, how inferior it must make someone feel. 

On lazy mornings such as this one, you’d often ask your partner what it was like to be an astronaut. He’d hand you a steaming cup of coffee as he rejoined you in bed, and with a contemplative expression, he’d always respond with a brand new answer. 

You suspected the change in response was just due to him recalling his first trip to a different realm, and each time you always listened very carefully. You always closed your eyes and tried to lose yourself in the picturesque descriptions of fantasy worlds you’d probably never be able to see personally. 

Sometimes, if you focused hard enough, you could almost smell the forests of a brand new planet. You could almost taste its fresh water and its different fruit, and feel the immaculate breezes of its unstudied seasons. But then you’d open your eyes again, and when you looked through the skyscraper’s window, the few dapples of orange and yellow leaves breaking through the dense fog would let you know this was still planet Earth. 

But that wasn’t always so bad. Occasionally, there would be several weeks without a world-ending threat breathing down the Avenger’s necks, and that meant you could pretend you were all just regular people. You could sleep in or get up extra early to watch the world come to life, you could rush around and do any of the million things that needed to be done, or you could simply lay there and bask in that sweet silence. 

Today, after having coffee in bed, your only concrete plan was a shopping trip in the West Village with Wanda and Nat. Your only solid goal was to finally settle on the perfect costumes for the Halloween party happening just a few days from now. 

It was no secret that the Avengers had acquired a sizable contingency of cynics over the years, ones who weren’t shy about openly criticizing the entire team. From the collateral damage incurred during battle, to the individual actions of its members both on and off the team - anything they did was suspect, and absolutely nothing was beyond complaint. Thus, Pepper Potts had made it her personal mission to finally correct the planet’s opinions of its heroes. 

In addition to the team’s assistance towards rebuilding efforts after their battles were won and having its members performing very public charity work, Stark Tower was starting to host more “fun” events in order to further boost the team’s positive image. 

“To get your names in the papers without a rising death toll immediately afterwards,” was specifically how Pepper had explained her initiative. And naturally, that meant a Halloween Party was deemed absolutely necessary. 

Anyone who was even tertiarily related to the Avengers was going to be there: from the low-level, but still notable, world government leaders, to the honorary members from all corners of the globe. And of course, plenty of reporters and photographers would be in attendance, all of them ready to document every single fun moment. It was set to become an impressive party, and knowing Pepper, a very classy event - so it shouldn’t have been at all surprising that most of the team had become hyper-focused on winning the party’s costume contest. 

Initially, everyone kept their costumes a secret from one another, and the trash-talking was of a mostly friendly nature. But then rumors started flying around, and gradually, some members of the team started taking the competition far too seriously. Alliances were formed, and subsequently broken. The taunting soon became serious, and then reached devastating levels, which ultimately escalated into a four-day period where Tony and Steve couldn’t even be in the same room together without a physical fight breaking out. 

Thankfully, the girls were far more casual about it, and that afternoon’s shopping trip was planned to be one of mutual support. Wanda was hoping to finalize her couple’s costume with Vision, and even though she hadn’t mentioned it directly, you knew that Nat was attempting a similar endeavor with Bruce, despite his timid insistence that he wasn’t a “costume guy”. It was so adorably endearing that it almost gave you a toothache. 

Unfortunately, things were not so cut and dry with Loki. 

He had yet to mention the Halloween party on his own, nor had he participated in any group discussions on the subject - he even ignored Tony's attempts to goad him into verbal sparring matches, something Loki ordinarily enjoyed. Not that anyone should be genuinely excited about performative media relations disguised as a fun party, but nonetheless, you were starting to become concerned about his lack of interest.

Private conversations with him about finding a costume had gone nowhere. He didn’t understand why he needed to dress up at all, or why you cared so much about it. And while he wasn’t saying it out loud, you didn’t need to be a genius to guess why he had reservations: everyone else already believed he was an actual monster, so shouldn’t he just be himself on Halloween? 

Only a few weeks had passed since you’d moved in together, but it was going really well, all things considered. The otherworldly being you’d fallen in love with still didn’t understand most Earthly customs, and you very much enjoyed being his Midgardian teacher. But coming to terms with what he’d done while under the influence of the Mind Stone was still an ongoing struggle for him. 

Loki had good days, but he also had very, very bad days. He still had nightmares about his past, and frequently his worries about the future kept him helplessly trapped in bed. It broke your heart to witness, and even though he’d probably never reveal the full details about his time with The Black Order and Thanos, he at least never stopped you from offering him comfort in the middle of the night. 

Because he wasn’t the monster his critics or inner demons claimed he was, no matter how convincing they were. He deserved a good and peaceful life just as much as everyone else did, and you wanted nothing more than to help him finally have one. 

When you’d left the apartment later that morning, Loki was lounging peacefully on the living room couch, his nose buried in the oldest book you’d ever seen. A gentle smile had tugged at his lips while you kissed his forehead on your way out, and with tremendous love in his eyes, he said that he’d miss you terribly while you were gone. 

After an early lunch at The Coppola Cafe, the three of you spent the afternoon browsing what felt like every single vintage clothing shop in the West End. It didn’t take long for Wanda and Nat to finalize their costumes, and eventually you did manage to find something for yourself, but deciding on your partner’s costume was another story entirely. A terribly complicated task, one that was impossible to accomplish and rotten with trap doors and landmines hiding within the deceptive labyrinth that was Loki. 

The girls did their best to make helpful suggestions during the shopping trip, offering such innocent and guiltless ideas like a mailman, or a stuffy professor - or perhaps he could dress up as Shakespeare so he could spend the entire party wandering around quoting Hamlet. Or maybe instead, he should just wear a Ghostface mask and a long black cloak, so he had a good excuse to stay concealed and silent all night long. 

You appreciated their efforts, but none of those ideas were quite right for him. You couldn’t really explain why, but they just weren’t…Loki. 

By late afternoon, your mind had turned into a jumbled mess. Unable to think clearly anymore, you resorted to aimless purchases of extra things neither of you probably wouldn’t ever use - cheap makeup sets, bottles of fake blood, a set of vampire fangs, a pair of cat ears. Several brightly colored wigs, a second-hand cape, and a large bag of Halloween candy to stress eat later finally completed your purchases for the day. 

The group came back to the Tower just before dusk, and the living room of your apartment was quiet when you walked inside. A few lamps illuminated on the end tables gave the space a dark, brooding mood, which was greatly appreciated after such a busy and disappointing day. But unfortunately, Loki was no longer on the couch where you’d left him, and that old book was nowhere to be seen. 

“Hey! I’m home!” you called out while setting your shopping bags down by the front door. 

An odd silence was the only thing that greeted you. 

Usually, Loki would be at the front door, ready to sweep you up in his arms whenever you returned home. But the apartment remained unmoving, even as you called out a second time. When he still didn’t appear, you poked your head into the kitchen while shrugging off your jacket and slipping off your shoes. But that room was also completely vacant, with no evidence of dinner being started or already had. 

Loki preferred spending most of his time alone, but occasionally he’d allow an enticing bribe from Bruce or Thor to drag him out of the apartment; maybe he was just studying something interesting up in Bruce’s lab, or perhaps he’d agreed to help his brother play a prank on someone. Grateful for the opportunity to wallow in solitude for a bit, you pulled the giant bag of Halloween candy from a shopping bag and made your way towards the back of the apartment. 

You padded down the empty hallway where there was still no sign of Loki. Everything in the entire apartment was clean, and in its place. There was absolutely nothing wrong, and yet it felt like the weight of the entire world was resting heavily on your shoulders. You tried to reassure yourself that it was nothing that a coma-inducing amount of candy couldn’t fix, but even that was becoming less believable with each step forward. 

As you approached the bedroom, you thought you could hear the very faint sounds of guitar strumming through the closed door. That gave you pause; certain that you hadn’t left anything on before leaving that morning, you cautiously moved closer, until your ear was pressed against the door. 

Yes, that was music you were hearing - familiar music, even though you couldn’t quite place it yet, and you couldn’t help but to smile to yourself. Loki was home after all, and he had been entertaining himself with music while you were out. It thoroughly warmed your heart with an unexplainable feeling of serenity, and pleased that he’d remembered how to use the record player on his own, you waited behind the door to listen for another moment. 

Humanity’s wide variety of music was one of the few things about our culture that he’d expressed genuine interest in - which of course, you happily encouraged. It was so much fun introducing him to everything from the classic composers of the 18th and 19th centuries, to the psychedelic rockers of the 20th century. From the upbeat pop groups of your middle school years, to the angsty singers that made up the soundtrack of your early twenties.

You closed your eyes to focus solely on whatever he was listening to now. The music itself was playing low, the singer’s impassive voice just barely audible to you. But you couldn’t tell if it was a really old recording, or if the sound was just distorted after passing through the door. 

Off in the distance, a punctuated drum stroke marked the countdown to some inconceivable event, and adrenaline suddenly filled your bloodstream. A low hum vibrated underneath the drum, steady until it wasn’t, and then gradually it shifted into a cosmic wail that seemed to be transmitting itself across all of time and space. A cacophony of instruments, from both the planet Earth and of the stars themselves, finally crescendoed together in a powerful array of astronomical declaration. 

A declaration that something was happening at that very moment. Breathed into life with a static kiss, that something was so astonishingly important, and it vehemently demanded immediate witness. 

Your curiosity, overwhelming to the point that you couldn’t take it any longer, forced you to carefully reach for the door handle. Its metal, both warm and cold simultaneously, felt like home. It felt unreal. 

This felt like opening the hatch to an ancient spacecraft. 

This is Ground Control to Major Tom…

You pushed open the door, and immediately let out a startled laugh. Standing in front of the bedroom mirror was a tall and lanky figure, turning himself back and forth while carefully examining his reflection. That part wasn’t surprising; but rather, it was the way he’d dressed himself that was completely unexpected. 

You’ve really made the grade…

Bright red and blue stripes lined the figure’s jumpsuit from shoulder to toe, each one evenly separated by thin lines of white. Familiar dark curls cascaded and twisted down past a pair of golden, glittering shoulder pads that only amplified his already impressive stature. Across his right eye, stretching from well below his cheekbone up to meet with his natural hairline, was a crimson lightning bolt. Its perfectly jagged edges were outlined in shimmering blue, and the leather platform boots on his feet were a brilliant, shining red. 

And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear…

You knew it wasn’t actually Ziggy Stardust standing there; logically, you knew that much to be true. David Bowie had died several years ago, and while you now believed in alien life on other planets, and magic, and superheroes - you still knew the matter of ghosts to be entirely science fiction. 

Rational thought, if you had been capable of it in that moment, would have told you that this was just your celestial partner practicing another one of his illusions. But this mirage was so much more powerful than reason, or fact, or reality could have ever hoped to be. While shoulder-strung spectral harps blared from the record player and the harmonized magnetism of flesh and blood and God stood before you, the only conclusion to be reached was that you’d finally lost your entire mind. 

Now it’s time to leave the capsule if you dare…

Other than his hair, his illusion was categorically perfect: the only hint of Loki underneath this glamour was the flicker of mischievous green hiding behind heterochromatic eyes. But those weren’t Loki’s cheekbones, or his lips, or his nose. 

They were David fucking Bowie’s. 

This is Major Tom to Ground Control…

Your jaw dropped even further when he finally noticed you. He turned someone else’s body, and he lifted someone else’s chin. The illustrious and supernal smile he flashed in your direction tugged at someone else’s lips. But the confidence that radiated out of him, like the infernal rays of an ever-bursting star, belonged to Loki, and Loki alone. 

It was different from Bowie’s, but still somehow the same; despite the oddity of both their ensembles, neither outfit had worn either man. And similar to that ethereal mortal from over 50 years ago, Loki’s aura overrode any bewildered question of why, and instead begged the eternal question of how? 

I’m stepping through the door…

How was he making this look work for him? Just like Bowie, Loki was equal parts striking and ridiculous. He was magnetic and breathtaking, he was pulling you in while simultaneously stunning the oxygen from your lungs. No thoughts, no words, no sounds could ever truly capture the true essence of this scene, and all you could manage was another stunned laugh as you looked him up and down. 

His lips finally moved, but you couldn’t hear what he was saying. A symphony of guitars and keyboards and organs and stringed instruments all crescendoed together to effectively pay tribute to the creation of this universe and drown out his voice. The sound, dizzying and disorienting, overpowered the feel of the floor beneath your feet until gravity was no longer enough to keep you tethered to the Earth. 

And I’m floating in the most peculiar way…

Your mind, completely overwhelmed by the glowing specter just ten feet away, had become entirely blank. You were rendered so totally speechless that you forgot every single detail about your past. You simply weren’t you anymore; you were an astronaut from a distant planet on the other side of the universe, and you always had been. 

You weren’t standing on the 22nd floor of Stark Tower, you were opening the hatch of an imaginary spacecraft, you were taking that first step out onto an unexplored moon. You were leaving the very first footprints upon its previously untouched surface, and you were carving your name into its virgin moondust. You were leaving your mark for future generations to someday gaze upon, in sheer awe of the audacity to wonder what else could be out there. 

And the stars look very different today… 

Without even noticing, you let go of the bag of Halloween candy; whether it also began floating or if it crashed to your bedroom floor was no longer any of your concern. All you could think about was if it felt this surreal, this mind-blowing to look upon the real David Bowie. How did anybody manage to not spontaneously combust in his presence? 

All sense of relative dimensions lost their meaning. Space was completely irrelevant, time was a fictional construct. The universe was never going to stop expanding, so would anyone ever be able to see it all? How could a numerical value ever be assigned to the entire concept of time? Why were any of us here? 

For here, am I sitting in a tin can? 

You had no way of knowing how much time had passed, but at some point, Loki must have realized that he’d broken you. Without losing his proud smile, he waved a hand in the direction of your record player. Its needle lifted, and an eerie silence immediately descended over the room. 

As soon as the music stopped, part of the spell clouding your mind vanished. A rush of oxygen suddenly filled your lungs, and your heart finally returned to its beating. Blood resumed its journey through your veins, and the floor became substantial underneath your feet again. You blinked once, twice, three times and shook your head, trying to clear it so that you might be able to ask just one of the million questions that all popped up at the exact same time. 

“Something the matter, dear?” 

Your eyes flew back open. Unfortunately, his glamour was still in place, and it was Ziggy Stardust that gingerly approached your position by the door. And when he’d spoken, it wasn’t Loki’s voice you’d heard - it was the voice of David Bowie. 

Unsure of what to do with yourself, inundated and engulfed in sensations of the most flustered manner, you squeezed your eyes shut again. Your arms crossed and uncrossed, your knees locked and unlocked as your weight shifted back and forth. You couldn’t help but laugh and shake your head again. 

“Loki, um…What the…” You had to pause to let out a deep, shaky breath, to run your hands up and down your face in a desperate attempt to wake from this very confusing dream. “What, um - are you doing, exactly?” 

The air around you warmed considerably as he stopped in front of you, and the amusement in Bowie’s voice, so smooth and so sure of himself, was more than palpable as he spoke. 

“Preparing for the masquerade, my dear. The same thing you were doing all afternoon.”

A gentle finger tilted your chin upwards, silently requesting that your eyes open again. When you did, it was Ziggy Stardust staring down at you from his impressive height, his expression curious and the unnecessarily tall boots he stood upon just making everything worse for you. 

You gasped breathlessly. Your brain almost melted entirely. The massive crush you’d had on David Bowie when you were 13 years old suddenly roared to life once more. You’d never told anyone about it, because everyone else your age was in love with the much more socially acceptable choices of Nick Carter or Justin Timberlake. Back then, admitting to a near-fatal attraction on an androgynous, bisexual and eccentric musician from the 1970s would have been akin to signing your own death warrant. 

Nowadays, such a crush was far more acceptable to have, but you thought those feelings had faded away with adolescence. There’d been no reason to bring it up, not even when you’d first introduced Loki to Bowie’s music. And now you were standing face-to-chest with the physical embodiment of your lie by omission. 

Overwhelmed once more, you backed away from him and covered your eyes. “Okay, can you - take those boots off, please? You’re already ridiculously taller than me, so you don’t need them…” 

“As you wish, darling.” 

His voice, though sincere, was still someone else’s. Admittedly, it was intoxicating to hear Bowie’s voice addressing you in such a loving, familiar tone - but it was also incredibly intimidating. You were already on the verge of collapse as it was; you didn’t need yet another reason to make a very rapid crash landing to the floor. 

Carefully, you let out a very slow breath to steady yourself. “And - can you also go back to using your voice, please?” 

There was a brief moment of silence, and a part of you wished you could see the enchanting smirk he almost certainly wore at that very moment. When he finally answered, it was in his own voice again, but it was just as amused as Bowie’s voice had been. 

“As you wish, darling.” 

You let out a shuddered sigh of relief, and your body relaxed somewhat. When you cracked open your eyelids from behind your fingers, he was still Ziggy, but the sight was a little easier to deal with now that he stood at his normal height and spoke with his actual voice. 

Now that he was closer, you took in the comforting notes of citrus and cedarwood on his skin, scents you knew to be Loki’s. You swallowed hard, your pupils dilated wildly as you finally allowed yourself to look him over. 

“You did this for the Halloween party?” you asked softly. 

Loki’s expression was much more reserved now, and he nodded earnestly. “Yes, I thought you would enjoy it. Is that not the case?” 

Your breath hitched as you reached out to touch him. Your fingertips brushed along the golden collar around his neck. The material was soft and pliable, not like the polyester you’d find on a cheap costume from a pop-up Halloween store. No, the fabric Loki wore was both real, and it wasn’t. It was the truth, but it was also a lie. He was both mortal and ethereal simultaneously. 

“And what made you choose this version of David Bowie to imitate?” 

The reimagined figure of Ziggy Stardust shrugged nonchalantly. His gaze, as intent and dedicated as ever, remained locked on your expression while your fingers drifted over to his shoulder pads, and then back down to the center of his chest. 

“Well, the other night you remarked on how much I supposedly resembled this particular mortal…” 

A shy smile pulled at your lips. “Okay, go on…” 

He reached out to caress your cheek, his thumb soft and solid against your skin. “And I was thinking about that film you showed me. The one that used music to tell its story…”

You stifled another giggle by pulling your lower lip between your teeth. Both of your hands found their way to his chest, one of them pulling the zipper of his jumpsuit until you could see just the barest hint of his chest hair. 

“A music video. The Space Oddity music video, specifically…” 

Ziggy, or Loki - whomever it was - donned a playful grin. “Yes, of course. With the oscillating, dark-green lines. I quite enjoyed that one…” 

You nodded absentmindedly. Your fingers, like they had a mind of their own, tugged the zipper down just a little bit further. Its metal teeth, crafted with the utmost precision possible, gave way and unlocked so easily to reveal even more of his skin, and your heart hammered inside your chest. 

It was impossible that Loki couldn’t see right through your expression, that he didn’t know about the salacious thoughts swirling around in your head. Like he’d expected you to have this very reaction, he gently slipped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer, until you were pressed all the way against him. 

“Darling, I know that the stress of preparing for this particular soiree has been weighing heavily on your mind as of late…” he continued with a soft murmur as he delicately spun you both around and guided you back towards the bed. “And I wanted to do something to help alleviate that burden for you…” 

Your heart leapt violently into your throat. At first, it was the surprise that he’d noticed your inner turmoil that did you in, but then it shifted towards dismay over you apparently not hiding it as well as you thought you were. 

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you replied with an innocent smile as he slowly lowered you both down to the mattress. 

But yes, of course you’d been feeling tons of pressure lately about the party. The Avengers had all known about your relationship with Loki for a while, but the rest of the Tower still didn’t - and neither did the rest of the world. They were all going to find out at the Halloween party. 

Loki chuckled and allowed his weight to fully settle on top of yours. “What have I told you about good girls who like to lie, my love?” he murmured softly, his lips brushing teasingly against yours. 

While you didn’t really care what everyone else thought about you, what they thought about Loki was many magnitudes of greater importance. He was already in a very precarious situation as it was; depending on the pundit or publication, his every scowl was interpreted as one of disdain for the human race, his every word a threat that he was just moments away from leading another alien invasion. 

They already hated him, and they’d never forgive him for New York, no matter how well he’d behaved since. 

Your breath shuddered, and your fingers couldn’t help but tangle between the dark curls that were so effortlessly Loki’s. “That they should…do it more, probably?” 

Any mistake he made in the field was grounds for his dismissal, anytime he drank a glass of wine instead of a beer was his blatant attempt to dismantle democracy itself. His every move was overanalyzed and deciphered by a bunch of people who had never even met him, who never even cared to know what he was like behind closed doors or in private, when he actually felt safe to be himself. 

They didn’t even care that he’d been corrupted by measures of torture they’d never have been able to survive themselves. Or that it had been entirely against his will, or that even while his invasion was taking place, he was subtly laying the groundwork for the Avengers to be able to stop him in the first place. 

“A valiant attempt, darling, but we both know that wasn’t what I meant…” he whispered hotly, nippling at your jaw. He adjusted the angle of his hips, and he began to roll them against yours. 

You moaned softly in response. Your mind began to melt, this time in pleasure instead of shock. The juxtaposition of Loki and Bowie and Ziggy, though confusing at first, started to make sense. It scratched an itch you couldn’t possibly have guessed that you had, and it created an intense need deep within your soul.

Unable to resist him any further, you captured his lips in a fiery kiss, and he eagerly returned it. His mouth worked hard and fast against yours, in a brand new style of coruscating and devastating passion. Hot and heavy, the kiss tasted just like Loki’s always had, but now it contained an extra dose of stardust. 

Loki's hands cupped your cheeks, thumbs brushing against your cheekbones, his hips again rolling against yours. His breath was quick against your skin, his needy groans like music to your ears. This transcendental combination of the past and present, of both the mortal plane and of the stars themselves, somehow craved you this badly and he wasn’t even afraid to show it. 

It was so strange; Loki may have come from the stars, but somehow, he was still beholden to you here on Earth. 

Within moments your legs wrapped themselves around his waist. Your tongue swiped at his bottom lip, requesting entry, and he granted it. Your hands drifted to his neck, his drifted to your thighs, and your bodies writhed together, eagerly, desperately, hungrily. 

The heat between you escalated even further - the kind of heat that usually precipitated the creation of a new star in the sky. Just as you began to yank the jumpsuit’s zipper down further, a shimmer of emerald washed down your bodies, effortlessly and fully undressing the both of you. 

You fucking loved it when he did that. 

Loki could use his magic to do anything he wanted; he could, and had already, used it to destroy, and to maim, and to control. But now he only used it to protect the ones he’d previously tried to conquer. Now he just used it to love - or when he couldn’t handle not being inside you for another second. 

His skin was hot against yours, his hands worshiped your curves. Your body stretched and arched underneath his, taking him in, making love to him like it was the very first time. It always felt that way, like you were floating one hundred thousand miles above the Earth, like the stars were finally within reach and only now could you actually reach them. 

Your fingernails dug into his hips. The sound of the creaking bed was soon drowned out by breathless moans against your ear, of prayers and curses and promises. Your toes curled, your eyelids fluttered shut. Wild movements crescendoed into the purest form of what you knew to be the truth: the Earth was blue, the moon was silver, and Loki’s love would always be with you no matter where he went. 

The orgasm ripped through you like a gravitational force collapsing the entire universe. Your muscles tensed, your body trembled underneath him. Pleasure seeped out of your pores and you cried out for him, incoherent and delirious. It felt like you had left your body entirely - remarkably disconnected from reality, but still safely anchored to him. 

Loki fell off the edge just after you did. His muscles contracted as he clung to you, his voice nothing but shameless groans and heated gasps. With parted lips and a heavy breath, he intertwined his fingers with yours, he buried his face into your neck, and together your bodies finally collapsed within that mutual satisfaction. 

An immeasurable length of time passed during the quiet contentment that followed, and by now, the sun had fully set. Unsure of whether you were just dozing or if you’d actually joined the astral plane, you allowed yourself to remain limp and boneless in his arms. Once again, gravity had no authority here, and you found peace just drifting aimlessly through the ever-growing expansion of outer space. 

“You never answered my earlier question, darling….” 

Loki’s demulcent voice gently pulled you back down to Earth. Your eyelids struggled to open underneath the pressure of the planet’s immense gravity, and suddenly you couldn’t remember anything that had transpired beforehand. 

“No, I’m...pretty sure I answered it already,” you replied with a false confidence, stretching your body against his in an obvious attempt to distract him. 

He chuckled and shifted with you, propping himself up on one elbow. His other hand traced a swirling pattern along your hip. “And I’m quite certain that you didn’t, love…”

For someone called the God of Mischief, he was surely determined to never let you get away with anything. You let out a laughing groan of frustration, and as your eyes opened, as you looked up into his, your breath vanished from your lungs. 

The stars looked so different now. They weren’t Ziggy’s, nor Bowie’s, anymore - they were Loki’s. His glamour had started to fail while you were making love, and now the large constellations of the deepest greens and blues, of Loki himself, were all that stared lovingly back at you. 

Loki grinned when he noticed the awe in your expression. His brow arched in a curious and teasing fashion when you couldn’t answer him. 

“My goodness, she’s turned into a cosmonaut and floated away, hasn’t she…?” he murmured softly, pretending to talk to himself. He took his fingers and made them dance against the sensitive skin of your neck to get your attention. “Hello, darling? Are you still there?” 

Almost immediately you were drowning in a fit of giggles. You scrunched up your shoulders and tried to squirm away, laughing and cursing at him while Loki continued his teasing. But his fingers, tender yet relentless on your sensitive skin, made it impossible to keep your eyes open or coordinate your muscles enough to put a stop to his attack. 

“Yes, hello? I was wondering if you’ve seen a beautiful girl in there?” he continued in that same vexatious tone, his hold on you tightening as he nuzzled his face to yours. “She’s my darling companion, and I’ve been missing her terribly. Can you tell her to come back to me, please?” 

You let out more breathless laughs, you made more desperate wriggles in his grasp. If you’d been able to see anything, you would have seen his cheeky grin and sparkling eyes, all lit up with mirth and devilry. There was absolutely nothing Loki loved more than play, and perhaps that was the true meaning of life anyway. 

But when you finally cried out for mercy, he instantly relented, granting you more benevolence within a single moment of play than he’d ever been given in centuries. And all things considered, Loki was still quite delicate in his handling of you. After all, he had gentleness woven deep within him - the kind that had developed out of defiance, not because it was taught, and that just made him all the more genuine. 

Dutifully, like it was an honor, he shifted your bodies so that he was on his back and you were nestled safely to his chest. Your leg curled around his, and after his fingers completed their soothing motions over the skin he’d just attacked, they moved in wide swoops along your back. 

“I suppose I should repeat my question then?” he murmured softly after kissing your temple. 

His skin, soft and smooth and pale, now smelled like an ancient fire that could burn his way through anything, if he’d wanted it to. It was intoxicating. You wondered if that was the same scent that had once filled the air of Asgard, if you’d ever get to experience it yourself someday. 

“Mmm, yeah. I think you should…” 

Loki cleared his throat, hesitating. His fingertips drifted up to the divot of your shoulder. “Did you truly not enjoy the costume I chose?” 

His voice was so quiet, so tender that it made your heart ache a little bit. You shifted on the bed, leaning up to look him in the eyes. 

“No, I did love it, Loki! It was really thoughtful of you, and for a second, I…” You smiled fondly, recalling the moment you first saw him, while one of your favorite songs ever blasted from your record player. “I really thought it was actually David Bowie, back from the dead…” 

Loki quirked an eyebrow. “And so naturally, your first reaction was to…laugh at it?” 

Your lips pursed together, trying to suppress another one. “Okay, I’m sorry about that. But I wasn’t laughing at the costume, it was honestly just…really overwhelming to walk in and see so unexpectedly…”

“Oh, you found it to be overwhelming, did you?” Loki grinned again, apparently possessing an infinite supply of them. “My poor little dearest, I’m afraid you only have yourself to blame for that.”

“Me?!” you laughed incredulously. “But I’m the victim here!”

So sure of himself, Loki gave a teasing nod. “Yes, you see, darling - I was in the process of choosing the appropriate level of detail for the illusion when you so rudely interrupted me…”

You maintained a playful, sarcastic expression as he explained himself. “Sure, sure. Or you could have just, you know…locked the bedroom door if you didn’t want to be interrupted…” 

Loki chucked and playfully swatted at your hip. “So then tell me, what about it was too much for you? I had already decided that the red hair was a bit excessive, but should I alter the clothing as well? The voice?” he asked, his hand now softly soothing the skin he’d just swatted. 

You silently thanked whatever it was other there that Loki had decided to keep his actual hair; it was one of his best features. Almost automatically, your fingers drifted through those gorgeous strands of caliginous curls, relishing in their strength and fluidity. He let out a tranquil hum when your touch grazed his scalp, and the sound was so effortless, so real, that nothing else could ever compare. 

Unfortunately, your thoughts then drifted towards far less pleasant topics. 

No one in their right mind could ever bring Loki’s capabilities as a sorcerer into question, especially not during battle. In fact, Wanda had previously expressed feelings of inadequacy when comparing her talents to his. But he had spent entire centuries perfecting his craft, he’d dedicated entire human lifetimes to his studies - to the point where most people remained completely unaware of its full extent once an illusion had been cast. 

A large part of that was because he preferred to remain an unanswerable question to everyone else, especially after the attack on New York. He’d rather they looked at his daggers instead of at his soul, or at the black heart he worried was the true source of his seidr. He didn’t want anyone to know what he was truly capable of, lest they fear him even more - or try to use his own knowledge against him. 

But if he wore the illusion of one of Bowie’s personas to the party - not dressed as, but if he actually was the physical embodiment of Ziggy Stardust come back to life - then everyone would know just how afraid of him they should be. You could see the fear-mongering op-ed headlines already - Former Alien Invader Transforms Himself into a Dead Rocker. What’s to Stop Him from Imitating the President Next? 

And the critics who didn’t make that massive jump towards an impossible conclusion? You already knew that if he wore the wrong costume to the party, they’d have even more reason to pick him apart; if they secretly loved his costume, they’d simply accuse him of pandering. There was literally no direction for him to go that wouldn’t result in more needless hatred being spewed at him. 

Even more pressing than all of that, what if they accused him of corrupting an innocent human when they learned about your relationship? You desperately didn’t want to make his life harder than it needed to be, but neither could you face bringing that concern up to him; what if he secretly agreed with them? What if he decided he was defiling your entire life just by existing within it?

What if he decided to leave you, in order to correct that grievous mistake? 

Your fingertips gently traced the angle of his jaw. His eyes drifted closed as he clearly savored your touch, and his expression was just so serene, so peaceful. You couldn’t let him sacrifice that tranquility for the sake of a party; Loki may not have needed your protection on the battlefield, but you sure as hell weren’t going to let him wander into danger back at home. 

“Well, maybe the issue is that you were using an illusion, instead of a costume…” 

His eyes fluttered open beneath a furrowed brow. His pupils widened before fixating on you. “I don’t understand. The goal is to become the subject in question, is it not?” 

You couldn’t help but laugh again; sometimes he surprised you with how human he was, and other times it was because of how alien he was. Letting out a slow breath, you pushed yourself up to sitting next to him. Your legs curled over to the side, and you draped yourself across his chest. 

“I think the real issue is that you might be slightly misunderstanding the point of a costume contest,” you began with a gentle smile. “Using magic to alter your appearance for a contest could be considered…cheating, by some people.” 

His expression was tender, but unrelenting. “I’m still not seeing the problem, darling. If I’m to become someone else in order to participate, then I’m going to become someone else…” 

“But the whole point is how much effort you put into the costume,” you explained with a gentle head tilt. “It’s about how creative you can be with either a limited skill set, or a small budget, or shortened time constraints…” 

You paused for a moment to let your words sink in before continuing.

“And I’m so sorry, but using magic just…isn’t that much effort for you. No matter how amazing or lifelike the illusion is.” 

He nodded, and his eyes flickered with understanding. For a very brief moment, he seemed to be taking your words to heart. But when his lips curved into a cheeky grin, you knew he was about to make another snarky comment. 

“You’re saying Stark will have a conniption if I win the costume contest at his own party? Is that it?” 

You sighed and rolled your eyes while matching his smile. It was actually incredible that he still had this much energy to devote towards acting like a total menace. “Yes, if it helps you to think about it like that, then that is exactly what I’m trying to say…” 

Loki continued thinking about your explanation for another moment, his gaze distant while his hand ran along the length of your arm. Eventually, the grin on his face slowly shifted towards one of true sincerity. 

“Alright then. What would you suggest I do instead?” 

You met his gaze with an even bigger smile of your own. All that remained of his illusion was a jagged, crimson lightning bolt stretching down his cheek, and you brought your fingertips down to gently trace along the bolt’s edges. His skin was so very soft, the transition between alabaster and crimson so seamless. It was only then that you remembered one of the purchases made earlier that day with Wanda and Nat. 

“Well, for starters…I think we ought to actually paint this design on your face.” 

Before he could even respond, you had already hopped out of bed - not that you would have responded to him anyway. And while wearing nothing but a scheming grin, you practically soared across the room, stopping just long enough to grab a few clothes from the bedroom floor on your way to the living room. 

“We ought to do what, darling?” Loki’s incredulous voice called out after you disappeared through the doorway. 

As you hurried into the living room, you bounced on one foot, and then the other, while pulling the pair of panties up to your hips. After clumsily slipping the t-shirt over your head and guiding your arms through its sleeves, you lowered down to your knees next to the shopping bags left by the front door. 

Did you have any experience with painting faces? None whatsoever.

Was that going to stop you now? Absolutely not. His illusion may have been overwhelming, but Loki’s inspiration of picking a David Bowie character for his Halloween costume was beyond perfect, and you were going to do whatever it took to make that idea a more feasible reality. 

Rummaging past the bright pink wig and the fringed flapper dress and the vampire fangs purchased earlier that day, you finally found it: a palette of Halloween make-up. The flat, rectangular box contained a few small brushes and a row of circular discs, each one filled with a different and very bright shade of creamy, metallic make-up. 

It was definitely a very cheap make-up set, and probably had way too many questionable ingredients that you’d never be able to fully investigate, but it should work just fine for this little trial - as long as Loki let you anywhere near him with it. You were sure that he would after batting your pretty little eyelashes at him. 

Back in the bedroom, you could hear him shifting on the bed. You shot back up to your feet. “Don’t get up! Just stay right there, Loki, I’m coming back!”

You carefully ripped into the package as you padded across the living room. Not only was this your first time painting someone’s face, but it might be the first time Loki’d ever had his face painted as well. A twinge of excitement, laced with a hint of unease, swam freely inside your veins; there was a good reason why your skillset had led you towards a career of getting beat up on a professional level, instead of towards a quieter, peaceful career of make-up artistry or hair-styling. 

Complicating matters even more was the fact that Loki was quite particular about his appearance. The last thing you wanted to do was ruin this newfound interest in the Halloween party. 

When you returned to the doorway of your bedroom, Loki was seated on the edge of your shared bed. His long legs were spread wide, with delicious expanses of thigh peeking out between the tousled sheets. His expression was dreamy and brooding as he ran a large hand through his midnight curls, like his thoughts were a hundred thousand miles away while he smoothed and detangled. 

His face lit up when he finally noticed you, but then it dropped when he saw what you were holding. “Please tell me that’s a joke. You’re joking with that, yes?” 

You grinned and shook your head like you were trying to fling your nervous energy into a nearby galaxy. “Not a chance. Scoot!” you laughed, waving your hand to get him to make room for you. 

He complied, but still let out a frustrated groan as he shifted to the middle of the bed and leaned back against the headboard. “Darling, be reasonable. I’m already getting a rash just looking at that preposterous concoction…” 

“Oh, come on! ” you whined, fluttering your eyelashes in a way you know he both loved and hated. “I know it’s not Armani, but you’ll survive a test run with it, right?” 

Loki sighed, and then he softly patted the mattress next to him. “You’re lucky you’re so damn adorable…” 

“I know. It’s a blessing and a curse for you, isn’t it?” 

Having won the first battle, you settled next to him on the bed. Your legs curled up underneath you, and with an innocent smile, you blinked at him once more, a silent request that he drop the final remainder of his illusion. The lightning bolt on his face disappeared with an emerald glimmer, and a playful smirk replaced it. 

“Yes, it is. And you’re going to be so very embarrassed if this folderol does actually kill me…” 

You carefully pried open the palette and dragged a brush through the creamy, red substance on the palette. “Oh, please. Of all the things that could kill you, it’s not going to be drug-store brand holiday make-up…” 

Starting at his forehead, you made gentle strokes against his skin, testing to see how well it absorbed the cream. As expected, it didn’t smear very well, the edges were smudged and uneven. But there was no need to panic just yet - it was still completely fixable. That is, as long as you avoided direct eye contact with him, or else you might become even more flustered than you already were. 

Loki’s gaze shifted as you worked, watching either your hands or your face depending on whether you were gathering color or painting his skin. His features were soft, his eyes still dreamy as he watched you work, but you carefully kept your attention towards the task at hand; his attention was like a black hole of colossal proportions, and once you were caught in it, the only thing keeping you from splitting into a million different strands of yourself was Loki himself. 

When he realized his alluring good-looks weren’t enough to distract you this time, he switched to a different tactic.

“Darling, do you really expect me to believe that Stark is allowing Miss Potts to paint his face for the party?” 

You snorted, expecting nothing less from someone called the God of Mischief. “If Tony knows what’s good for him, he is.”

As you pulled the brush across the bridge of his nose, Loki let out a chuckle and titled his head. “Is that some sort of veiled threat, darling? What happens if I refuse to cooperate with you?” 

That little movement was just enough to ruin what might have been a decent brush stroke, and it made you smear crimson down the length of his nose instead of diagonally across his cheek. 

“Hey, stop moving!” you gasped and laughed at the same time. “Or you’re gonna wind up looking even more ridiculous!” 

“Would it be rude to say that I find that difficult to believe, my love?” 

Ignoring his comment, you licked the tips of your finger and swiped it along the edges of the lightning bolt, trying to smooth it out. When the makeup just smeared instead of erasing neatly, a new rush of panic settled in your chest. You licked your finger again and rubbed it harder over his skin, and then you tried using your other, untainted fingers - but all that resulted in was the tips of those digits, and now your tongue, turning the brightest red to have ever existed. 

“Something the matter, darling?” Loki asked knowingly, repeating his earlier question. He pursed his lips together, just barely attempting to suppress a vindicated smile as he watched you struggle. “Is the inferior product you insisted upon ruining the homemade look you’d imagined for me?” 

Forcing your expression into one of neutrality required a tremendous amount of effort. “Nope. Everything’s going perfectly, my love,” you lied, switching the makeup palette to your other hand. Within seconds, the fingertips of both hands were traitorously stained with the truth. 

“Really? You’re absolutely sure about that, darling?” Loki asked, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he glanced at the make-up palette. “Please correct me if I’m mistaken, but there seems to be more tint on your fingers than what’s left in the container…” 

Your face scrunched up in amused frustration, and the unpleasant taste of chemicals and oils now completely coated your tongue. “Mmhmm, this is a…totally normal part of the process.” 

His comments were just making everything worse, but you were still determined to see this attempt through to the end. At that point, the makeup palette was discarded entirely and soon became lost within the bed sheets as you pushed yourself up to your knees and shifted closer to him. You took the hem of your t-shirt and pulled it up in a desperate attempt to finally fix the bolt’s outline and salvage your work. 

You swiped the soft fabric down the length of his nose, but the make-up must have believed your t-shirt to be a brush, and all you did was push the red deeper into his skin. Silently cursing yourself, you pulled your t-shirt up further and tried to focus on gathering as much color as possible. Secretly though, you prayed that effectively flashing him like this would distract him from making more teasing comments at your expense. 

But that didn’t quite work either, and Loki’s chuckle from behind your t-shirt was both leery and leering. 

“And now you’ve resorted to seduction as a means of distraction from your lies…” he purred, the sound almost a growl as he brought his hands to your waist. “I’d say our relationship might be having a negative effect on your morality, darling, but you’d be much better at this if it was…” 

You were still determined not to let him win, even as a shuddered breath tumbled from your lips. Your heart beat faster in your chest as the entire front of your t-shirt became tinted with red, and your face warmed from the feel of his hands gliding down to your hips. 

“It’s fine! It’s fine, Loki. Trust me, I’ve done this a million - ” 

“Sweetheart.” 

Loki’s voice was kind but firm when he interrupted. He leaned back as he pulled your shirt down, revealing the devastation on his face that your attempts to fix had caused. “Please just admit that you’re not very good at this…” 

You gasped and clamped a hand over your mouth. There was red everywhere - in his eyebrows and his eyelashes, across his right cheek and somehow, underneath his chin. The combination of mess on his both serious and amused expression was a horrifying, delightful sight, and you only barely managed to swallow the giggle bubbling in your throat. 

Loki arched a suspicious eyebrow. He flicked his wrist and produced a small, handheld mirror with his seidr, and he stared at you expectantly - granting you one final opportunity to come clean, as it were. 

“Come on, darling. I will love you no less if you just admit it.” 

But you couldn’t; all you could manage was to laugh, cover your eyes and brace for the inevitable as he finally looked at his reflection. 

“This is absolutely marvelous, darling,” he finally replied in a wry tone of voice. 

You shook while trying to suppress another laugh, but it was all over now. He’d seen the abominable, unskilled attempt at facial decoration you’d left on his skin, and you knew he was never going to let you hear the end of it despite the fact that he was laughing too. 

“And you were absolutely right, this is so much better than using magic. Perhaps I should go into battle like this. I could simply frighten our enemies to death…” 

You let out a heavy laugh of defeat and let your hands fall to your thighs. You were sure there was probably red make-up smudged all over your own face as well now, but you didn’t care anymore. “Alright, so. Maybe I’m not that great at painting faces…” 

“Oh, on the contrary, sweet girl…” Loki chuckled as he tossed the mirror away and pulled you closer, settling you over his lap. He leaned up and nuzzled his nose to yours. “This is impeccable work. Stunning, even…” 

“No, stop it! You’re making a mess!” you laughed and tried to look away, but his face followed yours, no doubt just smearing even more make-up all over each other. “Loki! You’re ruining all of my hard work!” 

His arms tightened around you. He began to kiss and nip at your jaw, your nose, your neck. “Or am I making it more authentic? Did you ever think about that, darling?” 

Resigning yourself to retaliation at Loki’s level, you matched his every kiss and nip with another to his jaw, his nose, his neck. He let out an encouraging chuckle and cupped your jaw with his hands, angling your face properly to his. When your lips finally met, he let out a soft hum, and then his kiss shifted into one of reassurance. 

Your arms slid around his neck as he leaned back against the headboard. His lips moved slowly and tenderly as he held you close to his chest, and they said everything that you needed to know. This was okay, he was okay. Aside from a few errant, washable streaks of crimson on his face, nothing real was actually amiss here. 

He may have been teasing you before, but he was also loving you. The experiment had yielded far less than stellar results, but that was still okay. A suitable ensemble for the party would be found eventually - or perhaps just better make-up products - and the two of you were still going to have as much fun as someone could have at a corporate holiday party, even if there were a few extra pairs of wandering eyes there. 

After another moment or two, the kiss broke naturally. You let out a slow breath and pressed your forehead to his. “Alright, I fully admit that I completely suck at face-painting. We don’t have to go down that route…” 

Loki smiled and nodded. A glimmering wash of emerald erased any evidence of red from all skin and clothing. “Yes, I’m quite certain that we can come up with something else…” 

By revealing his mortal partner to the world, you’d hoped it would soften the rough edges of Loki that his detractors wanted to keep illuminated underneath a hateful microscope. You’d wanted to protect him, to make his life simpler, to possibly ease his troubled integration on the planet he’d once tried to subjugate. 

But the relaxed smile on his lips told you that he didn’t need you to do any of those things. Loki was from the stars, yes, but he only ever clung to one specific thing. He may have come from on high, his perspective and past experiences originating from a millennia away from yours, but he was still here, looking at you. Loving only you.

You were his, and he was yours. No amount of criticism, or any blades held to his throat, or cruel darts thrown at his loving eyes were ever going to avert his gaze. They could make him climb mountains on mountains to get to you, but as long as there were sunbirds to soar back down with, then it was all worth it, wasn’t it? 

Your hands slid into his hair, gently tangling themselves within his dark curls. Your eyes roamed slowly over his angular features and icy blue eyes, admiring the planes of his cheekbones and the true depth of his gaze that simultaneously showcased both the wide expanse of outer space and your own reflection within his irises. 

Loki was timeless. He was broken and hopeful, grateful and almost too intelligent to not know better. He was pensive, and he understood light and dark better than anyone else you’d ever met. The noir shadows of his heart were what had initially drawn you in, but the hidden brilliance of his glowing soul was what had made you stay. 

A new idea coalesced inside your heart, and you settled your hips to his with a sly grin. “Are you by any chance familiar with my favorite David Bowie persona?” 

Loki smiled again, but this time he shook his head. “Are you really only telling me now that the Space Oddity himself is not your favorite persona of his?” he murmured curiously. 

You bit your lip and reached for your laptop on the nightstand, eager to introduce him to something brand new once more.

⊱ ── ༓ ── ⋅•⋅⊰ ── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ∙ ⋅ ── ⊱⋅•⋅ ── ༓ ── ⊰

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[mostotherthings]

某某's novel

I finished the novel, and these are the lines in it that altered my brain chemistry. (SPOILERS FROM THE NOVEL)

他找不��理由，也找不到证据，但他就是知道。(59 章， 换班)

He couldn't find a reason, or find any proof, but he knew. (Chapter 59, Changing Class)

小时候把江鸥的袖带绑在手指上，睁眼却从没见到过人。后来把自己的名字和照片做成纸条，绑在外婆手腕上，老人家也依然记不住他。再后来给团长拍过很多照片和视频，那只陪了他很长时间的猫还是埋进了地下。

他始终不擅长挽留，也从没留住过什么。(59 章， 换班)

When he was young, he would entwine his mother's sleeve band upon his fingers, but when he opened his eyes, she would be gone. After, he put his name and picture into a slip of paper and tied it on his grandmother's wrist, but she was old and could not remember him. Later on, he took lots of pictures and videos of Captain, but the cat who had been with him for a long time in the end, was buried into the ground.

In the end, he was not good at keeping things, and has never kept anything at all. (Chapter 59, Changing Class)

他只是喜欢盛望而已，早就喜欢了。（66章 假期）

He just liked Sheng Wang, and has liked him from the beginning. (Chapter 66, Holiday)

他那时候犹豫又混乱，胡言乱语了一些什么已经记不清了，只记得他攥着江添说：“我这次没松手。”

江添沉默了很久说：“我的错，我先松的。” (93章， 苦夏）

He was confused and hesitated, whatever he said during that time he could not remember it well anymore, but he remembered holding tightly on to Jiang Tian and saying, "I didn't let go this time."

Jiang Tian was quiet for a long time before he said, "It's my fault. I let go first." (Chapter 93, Bitter Summer)

他知道江添的性格，也知道对方决定的松手意味着什么——江添把他的学���、老街、长巷、同学、朋友……所有尘世热闹都留给了盛望，自己带着一只猫走得干干净净。（95章，重逢）

He knew Jiang Tian's personality, and knew what it meant by him "letting go" -- Jiang Tian left his school, old neighbourhood, long walled streets, classmate, friends...... his crowded busy world, left everything to Sheng Wang, and departed cleanly, taking just a cat with him. (Chapter 95, Reunion)

“你干嘛绕这么大一个圈子让我去旁敲侧击？自己问啊。”赵曦作为过来人，一方面有点微妙的感同身受，一方面又恨不得把他俩怼一起算了：“就说来个地址,我去找你。他还能不给么？”

没等江添开口，赵曦又自顾自地下了总结：“哦对，忘了，你闷骚。”

江添：“……”

“不是。”他默然片刻，语气变得有点头疼：“他会跑。” （98章， 开口)

“Why are you asking me to find out and going around in circles? Ask him yourself," Zhao Xi, as someone who had gone through this before, at one end felt a certain kinship with him, but at the other end felt that he just wanted to force the two of them together. "Just tell him, 'Give me your address, I'll come look for you.' How can he refuse you then?"

Without waiting for Jiang Tian's response, Zhao Xi concluded on his own, "Oh yes, I forgot. You're the (tsundere) sort."

Jiang Tian: "........"

"No," he said after a moment of silence, his tone of voice strained: "He will run." (Chapter 98, Starting the conversation)

江添沉默良久：“我早说过我不欠谁的。” （98章， 开口)

Jiang Tian, after a long silence: "I said it earlier- I don't owe anyone anything." (Chapter 98, Starting the conversation)

就算他喝了酒、反应迟钝、不知所措，也会有肌肉记忆带着他像十七八岁时候一样，追逐回应着他喜欢的那个人，就像深入骨髓的本能。

我的骨骼说，我还是爱你。

“望仔。”江添微微分离开，眸光从半睁的眼里落下来，迷乱中透着微亮。他嗓音很低，响在安静的夜里，听得人心里酸软一片，“我们和好好不好？” (99章， 融化）

Even if he had drank a bit and his reflexes slowed down, even though he was at a loss, his muscle memory brought him, like when he was 17/18, chasing to respond to the person that he liked, like an ability that was deep in his bones.

His bones (soul) told him, I still love you.

"Wang Zai," Jiang Tian let him go a little, looking down at him with half-hooded eyes, eyes bright even in confusion. His voice was low, and in the quiet night, it left a bittersweet feeling in one's heart, "Let's get back together, okay?" (Chapter 99, Melt)

[loulou-land]

So uh that Priest Lou picture altered my brain chemistry…again. And I’ve just spent the past 4 hours?! feverishly writing a bucktommy smutty fic 🫠

But since it’s really past my bedtime and I still need to edit it (really I need to read it in the light of day and decide if it’s actually worth posting lol. Plus @fuselsstuff needs to read it first too 🫶🏻✨), I’m not gonna share it until tomorrow.

I’ll share a lil snippet tho | warning - explicit:

Already, his cock was straining painfully against the front of his jeans—and they’d barely just begun the scene.

“I—I uh, I want to make a confession,” he stammered, the words spilling out awkwardly. His voice cracked, and he felt his cheeks flush red. He could only imagine what he looked like—all flushed, panting and wanting—a visible bulge in his pants. He must have looked downright indecent.

The priest, Tommy, hummed kindly, the sound light but carrying just enough condescension to make Buck squirm.

“Why don’t we make ourselves comfortable, then?” Tommy said, his tone kind but firm. He turned, moving to the armchair in the corner of the room. He sat down and proceeded to spread his legs obscenely wide, leaving just enough space for someone to kneel between them.

[fandomroulette]

Multishipper Madness pt 4

Next up in listing my favourite aftg ships for individual characters.

Jean-Yves Moreau

1. Jean/Renee (something something this is the only universe where they stood a chance and the fact that the timing was still wrong breaks my freakin' heart, I just really love the idea of them finding their way back to each other later in life when they're both ready to trust that they deserve good things)

2. Jean/Neil (Love me some misplaced forever partners. I think this works best in Raven AUs but I like lots of versions of them, doesn't have to be romantic to melt by brain.)

3. Jean/Jeremy (the potential is there and I'm sure by the time the next two books are out these two will have altered by brain chemistry but I feel disappointedly normal about them so far)

4. Jean/Kevin/Jeremy (feels indulgent in a way that I enjoy but find hard to picture as a real thing. Still Jean deserves the world so he would only need to openly express a desire to be with both of them for me to get on board right quick)

5. Jean/Renee + Jean/Jeremy (for obv reasons I do not ship Renee and Jeremy but I do think they're a more realistic "Jean has two hands" outcome than most.

6. Jean/Neil/Andrew (I just think it could be neat)

7. Jean/Andrew (no idea how this would realistically occur but I love the idea anyway)

8. Jean/Aaron (I've seen a couple interpretations of these two getting together that were really cool. It would be way higher on the list if imagining Aaron not being with Katelyn didn't make me itchy)

9. Jean/Kevin (ngl I think Jean deserves to move on from Kevin, that being said I am not above being taken in by the tragedy of the two of them and I have a soft spot for Kevin realizing he returns Jean's feelings a little too late)

[mcrololo]

pitch perfect headcanons that came back to haunt me

I know autistic!beca lives in everyone's heart rent-free, but I can never quite shake adhd!chloe either tbh. she's such a fucking puppy, puts her whole being into everything, and rejection is such a brick to the face. plus, I like to think that she lets aubrey walk all over her in the first movie not just because of rejection sensitivity but because people always tell her she's too much, so to keep aubrey's stress to a low she becomes just enough. (and in the second movie she takes aubrey's role because she thinks that's what the bellas need, beca being her chloe from the first year, and how do you even function as a normal human being?) (please I have so many reasons for adhd!chloe)

trans!aubrey. like, in my brain it makes so much sense because this girl has got EVERYTHING to prove, from the former bellas to her strict military father. what if he always wanted a son and aubrey wants to prove she can still be enough while being a woman? it explains why they're a little estranged TO ME. also why she's so fucking nervous all the time.

sometimes I remember the time I watched the first movie for the 24956849th time and noticed amy hovers near aubrey constantly, almost like she wants to impress her all the time, and yeah that's probably because aubrey is the captain who wears the pants in the chaubrey relationship, but also............... amy/aubrey

though, as much as I love to ship everything and anything, I also can't shake aroace aubrey. it explains her hate for the trebles in the first movie (fuck society's expectations of boy meets girl) and a part of why she's so anti-beca. because she can see she's losing chloe (no that's not because she's pushing chloe away herself, wdym). (please i NEED queerplatonic chaubrey. inject that directly into my veins)

personally I like to believe chloe knows she's queer from the first movie on. she's just too afraid to act on it because it might scare everyone she cares about off. she's dipping her toes in that pool when she tells beca about experimenting, thinking maybe their friendship is strong enough to survive it.

beca mitchell is a dweeb to ME. i picture her sneaking into the library to read the latest manga volume they added. but only the psychological ones. she'd definitely be a death note girly.

speaking of beca mitchell, she mostly listens to punk and alternative artists, idc what the movies try to tell me. she went to a my chemical romance concert without her parents knowing, and it altered her brain chemistry forever. this will never mean that beca intensely dislikes pop music, it's just that punk is her comfort genre.

[musicalmoritz]

Can we get a list of all the tbhk ships you can think of ranked in order of how much you like them? I'm just curious! Leave out anything you flat-out don't like of course!

Ooooh, this will be a challenge! I’ve done the teirmaker list thing twice for TBHK ships but my opinion on them keeps changing (there are some I used to not care abt that are now some of my favorites). I think I’m gonna try to break this up into sections to make it easier

The Holy Trinity

Aoinene- Obviously my all time fave. I’ll be honest I wasn’t expecting it but this one has shot into my top favorites of all time, which is a very sacred list🙏🏻 I wasn’t expecting to love them so much because I really like the canon pairings but Beecalm’s fan fictions (and many others) altered my brain chemistry. Once I started to focus on them more I couldn’t stop and now I over analyze everything they do. And ofc writing my own fics made me like them more. I really like the potential of both of them keeping secrets from each other and Nene sort of knowing there’s something up with Aoi but being totally unaware of the extent of it (yk like if they were written by an author who gaf abt them they could be so cool). Also the “best friend becomes the villain” trope is simply superior

Mitsukou- This one recently swapped with Terukane. I expected it to be my favorite bcuz canon gays usually are but Aoinene surpassed them. I still love them tho, I like how fucked up they can be with all the cannibalism and bullying as a love language. They’re all cute and angsty but they also have some serious problems, like dudes please get therapy. Mitsuba wanting someone to depend on and Kou wanting Mitsuba to only depend on him. It’s like a train wreck I can’t look away from. But also like I want them to be happy and hold hands. Maybe they can get couples counseling

Terukane- Don’t be fooled by it dropping one level, I still love them a lot!! I like the fanon concept of them helping each other heal, especially when fics have Akane taking care of Teru. Really, this is my “I just want Teru to be happy” ship lol. The shippers are so funny and good at analyses, and I like how they both thrive off of their rivalry. They have such a comedic duo thing going on too, the final exam chapter was so funny. Their relationship is built on trust, or something like that

Absolutely Fucking Love

AoiAoi- This one may come as I surprise considering Aoinene and Terukane are so high but I’m obviously a huge multishipper. The thing with their names is so funny to me, it’s the first thing I tell my friends abt TBHK every time I introduce them to it. I love how complicated they are while at the end of the day still being very dedicated to each other. They’re both so down bad, it’s cute. Despite their initial toxicity, I strongly believe this is the healthiest canon ship but I’ll hold my tongue

Terukaneaoi- I am strongly hesitating to put this one so high since it used to be more of an after thought but I simply cannot separate AoiAoi and Terukane from this ship so it feels fitting. Even if I’m shipping two of them without the other I still imagine them being very important to each other. My enjoyment of the manga increased tenfold when I started interpreting their love triangle as “Aoi and her two boyfriends.” Lowkey believe AidaIro ship them too. This is what I mean when I say we need more poly ships

Hananene- Also struggling to put this one so high but they’re the main couple, I feel like they deserve this spot. Every now and then I start to think I don’t care abt them that much but then I remember the ending of the Picture Perfect arc and I’m like oh right. They’re soulmates. Their relationship is one of the highlights of the manga for me. I mainly prefer this ship with Amane’s personality over Hanako’s but they are the same person so it’s cute either way

Sakuhiko- This was very briefly my favorite. I headcanon them as sapphics which gives them extra points lol. I love how Natsuhiko seems to know Sakura so well, and how dedicated he is to them. I like the idea of them having a less conventional relationship, they aren’t “together” but they’re still together. Very romantic and typical TBHK fucky messed up stuff. Villain couples are elite

Aoimei- This one could’ve been higher than HanaNene and Sakuhiko but I’m a coward lol. I’m happy that AidaIro gave us sapphic breadcrumbs, even if it was only in an au. To me these two just make sense, they would be perfect for each other. Mei is absolutely a lesbian in my eyes and Aoi has gotta be some type of sapphic. I like that they stayed together even after the love potion, and how Aoi was more comfortable with the idea of Mei falling in love with her than any of the guys. I am absolutely in love with this ship

Adore

Aoimei 2.0- This is the version with No.4 Mei. I am not the first to come up with it but I do believe I’ve made the most fan content for them lol. I sometimes like this more than OG Aoimei but they’ve sadly never interacted in canon so it gets docked a section. It’s such an interesting concept, the way both of them exist as a culmination of the rumors made about them. They would have such an interesting dynamic, in my mind they are enemies to lovers lol

Terukaneaoinene- This one is soooooo underrated. Terukaneaoi is great enough on its own, add Nene and you have all the best ships mixed together. You have to be deep into multishipper hell to like this one bcuz p much every combination of ships here are enemies with each other. Best solution? They all date

Akaneneaoi- Okay I’m just gonna go through every poly variation within Terukaneaoinene here, they’re all pretty interchangeable with each other. This one is great because it’s Aoi and her two favorite people

Teruaoinene- Supremely underrated!! Teru is great, he deserves two girlfriends. And instead of Aoi and Nene being pitted against each other bcuz Nene likes Teru and Teru likes Aoi, they both get to date him AND each other. So fun

Teruakanene- Their little date was so cute (technically they’ve gone on two now). Idc if it was meant to be a Terunene date, Akane was included in my heart. Not crazy abt the lack of Aoi here but this is still an elite ship (one of my mutual named them Pineapple Pals)

TeruAoi- This one is deeply controversial. Tbh it could be above the poly ones I just listed but I like them more in the context of Terukaneaoi or Terukaneaoinene. Teru’s potential crush on her in canon is very cute to me, and I like how she seems to warm up to him throughout the series. I will never understand how people headcanon that they hate each other lol, either they’re dating or they’re best friends

Meinene 2.0- No.4 Mei version ofc. This one is a bit interchangeable with OG Meinene but I like this one a teensy bit better bcuz of the hand-holding scene. Every time I listen to “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” by the Beatles I think of them. This is truly my “I just want Mei to be happy” ship. I like the idea of Nene helping her work on her mental health/self-image issues

Meinene- OG Mei version. Their pancake date lives in my head rent free. Might like it a bit better than the other Meinene but idk they swap a lot. Recently this Meinene has been consuming all my thoughts. It feels so canon, AidaIro clearly wanted Mei to have a girlfriend

Sakunene- This ship should be so much more popular than it is. Like every ship listed below Aoimei 2.0 in this section, it could be swapped with any of the others depending on my mood. This is PEAK enemies to lovers hero/villain character foil vibes. They are everything to me. Nene having a crush on Sakura is lowkey canon so I wish more people recognized their potential

Terunene- So overhated because people have no imagination smh. If Nene came to understand who Teru really is (I think she’s learning but shhh) I think they could be absolute couples goals. Unlike most fans I don’t rly want Teru to have a crush on Nene in canon, I think most people who suggest that only say it bcuz they don’t want to try to understand TeruAoi. But I digress. Super cute ship

Akanene- Another divisive one!! They seem to have this weird animosity towards each other in canon (likely due to Aoi) but whenever they team up…oh man, I love seeing these two work together. They’re both hopeless romantics so they’d be able to match each other’s energy

Aoimeinene- A fairly recent one but I’ve become obsessed. I tend to think of each of the ships separately tho so I need to figure out how the dynamic would work with all three of them. I hope to someday write a fic for them and make this ship more popular (tho I think I’m already on my way to doing that with this blog lol). There are not nearly enough femslash sapphic ships in this fandom, I need more

HakuSumi- Not really sure how to rank this one, I love love love their relationship but I’m not heavily invested in it…still, I don’t want to put it too low. My favorite husband and wife, they deserved better :( I’m glad the fandom is starting to warm up to this one, maybe they’ll have a renaissance like AoiAoi

Super Cute!

SakuMei- No.4 Mei version. We briefly saw them together in ASHK so I think AidaIro know they would be good friends. Their personalities match each other very well and the fanfics are amazing (seriously pls read SakuMei fanfics they’re so good). I lightly associate Mei with the Broadcasting Crew so I like to think she and Sakura would hang out a lot. I headcanon them as exes lmao

Natsuteru- Almost forgot about this one…I have mutuals that would sue me over that. So we all know that Natsuhiko and Teru are exes but consider them as transfem butch lesbian exes. Yes I’m right I’m so correct. I will also accept butchfemme Natsuteru

Kounene- Okay so like…I don’t really multiship a lot with Mitsukou *the crowd boos me* I know, I know. I think this ship is insanely cute as a concept but SOME of the fans are weird abt Mitsukou and HanaNene. It throws me off a bit but I have full love for the ship itself, only when it’s requited on Nene’s side tho. I’m not crazy abt one-sided pairings

HanaKou- Again with the mtsk thing…but let’s be real this ship is art. They could do Romeo and Juliet but Romeo and Juliet could not do HanaKou. I prefer them as best friends but I totally get why so many people like them romantically. They have a funny dynamic. I have a request for them so be on the lookout for that

MitsuHana- Hear me out hear me out, this one is so funny to me. Specifically the concept of Hanako having a crush on Mitsuba. I like to think they’d have the same dynamic as Richie and Eddie from It if you catch my vibe (Hanako is Richie and Mitsuba is Eddie). It pairs well with Kounene too

HanaNeneMitsuKou- Only if Mitsuba and Nene aren’t dating, I don’t fw Mits*nene. Specifically I like this ship when things center around Kou, he’s super nice and protective of everyone so all his friends crushing on him feels so realistic lmao. The four of them would bully each other so hard too, I like to picture them acting similar to the main four from South Park. Please see the vision

SakuAoi- Rumor Girlfriends!!! I love the concept of this ship and they have been shown together a lot in official art. Tbh this one could be higher, but I need a bit more for it yk?? I totally get the concept but it hasn’t completely clicked for me yet. This one may level up in the future tho, as I said the concept is very interesting. I would love to see it in an au where Aoi is with the Broadcasting Crew.

MinaMari- We know little to nothing about their characters but the concept is so cute to me. They’d probably be higher if they had more focus in the manga but alas, they are extremely minor characters😔 They give me major Chappell Roan vibes tho

Sakoo- I’m not overly invested in them but this ship is a staple so they get this category. They’re a cute background ship to Mitsukou. I could see them having some type of crazy slowburn and getting together in their 30s

LemonFuji- A ship I came up with, they are so silly to me. I was gonna put this way lower but then I remembered it’s my favorite Lemon ship. Kinda forgot abt them tho so they could technically be moved a tier down…but no, as the captain of this ship I must go down with it. LemonFuji World Domination

Lemonkane- Not really sure where to put this one in relation to the others but I like them. The fact that they dated in canon always baffles me, I love whenever AidaIro say gay rights. It’s a little funny to me that this isn’t Akane’s main mlm ship, it’s like Lemon got demoted

NagiTsuchi- Say it with me…Old Man Yaoi. Another one I’m not majorly invested in but this is my designated ship for both characters. Workplace romance is one of my favorite tropes, especially with teachers. The Yugi Twins’ dads, trust

Like

Sakuaoinene- So I guess this tier is an “I see the vision/I could get into it” category. I’ve always been aware of this poly ship but for some reason I’ve never looked too deeply into it!! I did make headcanons for them once but beyond that I just don’t think of them often enough. I’ll have to think about it more, the concept is god tier. I like all ships between them so this could be like supreme toxic yuri or smth

Natsunene- Their little door date was so silly and no one talks abt it. I feel like I’m the only person who ships this. Please let them be girlfriends

KouAoi- One of the best rarepairs fr fr but there’s so little content so them. I have a fic idea for them but I haven’t had time to write it yet. To me this is a “crush on your older brother’s best friend” ship lolol. I think it would be more of a celebrity crush on Kou’s part but it’s still adorable

Sakuaoimei- No.4 Mei version. I have a fic request for them that I swear I’ll get around to at some point (I’m trying to stick to a schedule but school has kept me busy this week). I’ll have to brainstorm more of a dynamic for them, I feel like they’d all fit really well together. Sakura and Aoi would nerd out together about horror stories while Mei watches them fondly. Aoi deserves two ghost girlfriends

YoMitsu- I like this one as an unrequited thing, like Yokoo being the typical protagonist of a teen movie and Mitsuba being the unattainable crush. And drama! His crush is dating his best friend. Very much Jesse’s Girl vibes. I made headcanons abt this on TikTok and got ppl all invested in the lore

SatoMitsu- Don’t know much about this one but it seems sweet, he protects him from Kou’s bullying

YoKou- This one is weirdly popular for a rarepair, I feel like I see it all the time. They seem cute enough

SaKou- Satou 100% had a crush on Kou at some point. So did Yokoo but we already covered him. In like 10 years he’s gonna be going about his day and randomly be like “ohhhhh so that’s what those feelings meant”

SaKooMitsuKou- Cute poly ship! Satou and Yokoo help Mitsuba and Kou keep their violence to a minimum. Actually maybe we shouldn’t drag them in to all their drama. Nvm let them be silly boyfriends

SakuMeiAoiNene- Works with either Mei tbh (I’m too tired now to rank them separately I’ve been working on this all throughout the day). Any ship between these characters is elite, I fully support it and would read a fic abt them (or write one)

Koukane- See this one has potential but in my mind they are brother-in-laws so I’m still trying to sell myself on it. I like it tho!

SumiYako- I can’t rly see Sumire with anyone but Hakubo lol but it’s femslash so ofc I like it. I need fics and edits for them, I feel like this one could really grow on me. I want to marry both of them fr fr

TsuchiYako- At first I loved it, then I hated it, now I’m warming back up to it. I could see them having a thing without ever having to discuss it yk?? Like they’re together in some sense and they both know it without having to make a big deal out of it

MitsuKane- One of my moots said they would smoke weed together and I have loved the concept ever since. Another ship I feel like I could get into

SakuTeru- Ignore the ranking for this last category btw I have lost the plot. I cannot see Sakura with a man but if it’s nb or transfem Teru then yes. Very interesting concept

SakuNatsuTeru- This ship is so funny I need to look more into it. They all give me major poly vibes so seeing them together feels biblically accurate

SakuMei 2.0- Original Mei version. I’ve not rly looked into it but I could see myself liking this one. They give me opposites attract vibes

NatsuAoi- A rarepair that only I ship (I think). It’s super chaotic to me

LemonAoi- Aesthetically pleasing, I saw an edit for them once and it was life changing. Really I love any Aoi ships, her complex character makes for very interesting dynamics (even tho she only rly cares abt 2 ppl)

Mama Yashiro x MitsuMom- People pair them together a lot so that Mitsuba and Nene can be siblings and I’m totally here for it. Another one I’ve been meaning to write a fic for bcuz there’s not a lot focused solely on them (for obvious reasons). Let the milfs kiss

MitsuLemon- Another rarepair my moots introduced me to. I’ll have to look more into it but yayyyy their colors go together

Lemonkaneaoi- The original concept for TBHK is so fascinating to me. We could’ve had it all

TeruLemon- Fun rarepair, love the overload of blonds here

TsuchiHaku- I saw fan art of them once and I have not stopped thinking abt it

KataSumiHaku- I was recently introduced to this one and I love it, I’m obsessed

Okay there are probably more I could think of but those are ones I don’t care enough about to list. If I get invested in any new rarepairs you will probably catch me yapping abt them on here. Just assume Mitsukou and SouKou are equal btw I did NOT wanna bother with listing them separately. Again, my rankings change a lot but this is probably the most accurate one I’ve done in terms of categorization. Thank you for this ask, I really enjoyed making this!!

[joocomics]

Hi hello so LISTEN TO ME, I saw a gunil edit that has altered my brain chemistry in a crazy way but this was the first shot and all I can think about is his fucking eyes, like these are the eyes of the sun of a lifetime, he would not have to beg me for anything if he looked at me like this I’m foaming at the mouth I NEED HIM (need to follow this up with saying I hope you’re having a good day because this took the life out of me in a way that may or may not be concerning to the human race)

i can listen to you go insane over gunil all day and all night tbh you don’t have to tell me

IS THIS THE FACE HE MAKES WHEN YOU’RE ON TOP BUT HE STILL HAS FULL CONTROL OVER EVERYTHING CAUSE DJDJDNDML no because writing his holiday special made me Feel something and i know it’s silly and ridiculous and weird because i wrote it lmao but with the way he’s been looking lately… sigh 😞 GUNIL STOP IT ✋

(i hope you’ve recovered from this picture and you’re doing great friend <3)

[averagewriter-inthedark]

Love Across the Galaxy 🌌 | Helmut Zemo Imagine

Contains spoilers for GOTG Vol.3

Link to my Marvel masterlist

Characters & Pairings: Baron Helmut Zemo x Roman Goddess/Guardians!reader (romantic), The Thunderbolts—Baron Zemo, Bucky Barnes, Thaddeus Ross, Valentina Alegra De Fontaine, John Walker, Ghost, Justin Hammer, Taskmaster, Yelena, & Red Hulk (platonic), The Guardians of the Galaxy—Quill, Mantis, Nebula, Drax, Rocket, Groot, Kraglin, & Cosmo (platonic)

Content Warnings: profanity, light angst, fluff, mentions of death, fighting & violence, spoilers for GOTG Vol.3 (don’t read if you haven’t seen it!) | female!reader (she/her) | wc: 4.9k

Requested 📨 yes/no (rules for requests)

Premise: In which Baron Helmut Zemo, hater of the Avengers and desire to rid the planet of enhanced beings, becomes a member of the antihero team led by General Thaddeus Ross & CIA Director Valentina Fontaine where he meets the legendary group of misfits turned Guardians of the freakin Galaxy and loses his heart to a Goddess with a love for 80s music and talent for cutting of limbs.

Note: GOTG Vol 3 has permanently altered my brain chemistry and I cannot stop thinking about it. Truly the best film since Endgame & it’s inspired me cause I’m also back to loving Zemo again. I refuse to believe Marvel would give us a Thunderbolts film w/o Zemo so I will make sure he’s in this team.

After learning about all the Gods in Thor: Love & Thunder, picture you are Minerva, the Roman Goddess of Wisdom & War (Roman equivalent to the Greek’s Athena) and has cosmic powers similar to the Eternal’s Thena and has been with the Guardians since the events of the first GOTG film.

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Fall 2023

“I don’t see why we need these people to help us,” Zemo rolled his eyes, strolling beside General Ross with the rest of the team around them. Once outside the cool breeze hit him, ruffling the lapels of his coat as his eyes squinted from the bright light.

Ross lets out a tired sigh, “Because, Zemo, as much as it galls me to admit it this threat is far beyond what we can deal with. It’s not terrestrial and chances are these…” he had trouble coming up with the word, “let’s just say they’re more experienced for this situation.”

They all stop before the flight line. It’s clear all around them with no sign of an approaching vessel.

“Who are these guys again?” Justin Hammer popped some jelly beans in his mouth. John looks down at the file in his hands, making a face as he does.

“They call themselves…The Guardians of the Galaxy.”

“Oh God,” Bucky moans, immediately making mental notes to protect his mental arm knowing a certain talking animal was on the hunt for it. He was gonna have to sleep with one eye open.

Zemo raises his brow, “Friends of yours, James?” Bucky is not pleased by the assumption.

“I wouldn’t call them that.”

“Aren’t they part of the Avengers?” Ava’s tone is slightly disapproving. While Scott Lang and the Pym/Van Dyne’s helped her, she still got bad rep despite doing what she did to survive.

Zemo, not happy with the idea of working with Avengers, snatches the file from Walker.

“Not technically,” Ross replies while Zemo reads over the page. “They arrived with Thor in 2018 against the first battle with Thanos, remained an associate to the team while continuing whatever the hell it is they do in space, and returned in 2023 to defeat the purple bastard once and for all.”

“Did you fight with them, Bucky?” Yelena asks from beside the soldier.

“Yeah,” the memory appears in his mind. Specifically where he grabbed Rocket by the scruff and spun them in circles to cover more area as they fired off their guns. “Our interactions were brief…but memorable.”

The Baron had seen many things over the years, like the rest of humanity with the formation of the Avengers and reveal of intergalactic and enhanced beings, but to stay he wasn’t thinking, ‘what the fuck?’ by the picture in front of him would be a lie.

An earthling turned ravager, a blue mercenary, a woman with antennas, a genetically engineered raccoon, a living tree, a gray alien that could take down Thor, a man with a metal Mohawk, a telekinetic dog, and an exiled sword wielding Goddess. All misfits and outcasts, mostly space criminals turned superhero guardians of the cosmos.

Well….they were quite the bunch.

“They are not still with the Avengers, I take it?” Zemo wanders around, eyes lingering on the Goddess. White streaks adorned her natural hair color, eyes gold and lips painted with what appeared to be a permanent smirk. She wore a gold and white headpiece that had an owl extending its wings.

Name/Alias: Minerva, Goddess of War; Race: Deity; Planet of Origin: Caelum; Age: approx. 2500 yrs (39 Earth yrs); Occupation: Warrior/Mercenary/Defender of the Andromeda Galaxy; Allegiance: The High Council of Caelum (formerly), Guardians of the Galaxy, Thor, God of Thunder, The Avengers (formerly); Abilities: Cosmic manipulation, enhanced strength, agility, speed, & durability, thermal detection & mental teleportation; Specialization: artillery and battle strategy.

Ross let out a sigh, “only when the planet is about to go to shit due to an intergalactic threat. Which we’ve now got on our hands, but considering the Avengers are all on sabbatical I’m sending you in,” he checks his watch, “but I need all the extra hands and like I said, they’re experienced.”

Zemo stares at the blank sky, “How will we know they've arrived?”

“Believe me,” Ross mutters under his breath. “You’ll know.”

A loud rumbling noise caught everyone’s attention, gazes turning upward as a hexagon shaped breech in the sky revealed a very large spaceship in its wake, followed by the distinct lyrics of AC/DC’s ‘Back to Black.’

“Back in black. I hit the sack. I’ve been too long, I’m glad to be back. Yes, I’m let loose. From the noose. That’s kept me hanging about.”

“Oh my,” Yelena breathed out, hair flying back from the gust of wind. Zemo lifted a hand to cover his face from the leaves, as did the others, many wide eyed.

“I’ve been looking at the sky. ‘Cause it’s gettin’ me high. Forget the hearse ‘cause I never die. I got nine lives. Cat’s eyes. Abusin’ every one of them running wild.”

“Great song,” Justin voiced, grinning from ear to ear. The ship made its descent, music getting louder.

“‘Cause I’m back. Yes, I’m back. Well, I’m back,” it approached the tarmac, “Yes, I’m back. Well, I’m back, back.” wheels hit the tarmac, engine powering down but music still blasting, “Well, I’m back in black,” the ship doors opened, revealing steps extending to the ground, “Yes, I’m back in black.”

It was almost like a scene from a movie. Slow-motion if one will by how the Guardians exited their ship and stepped foot on the tarmac with AC/DC on full volume. All dressed in their new suits of red and blue leather with the Ravager flames on the chest.

Arriving in style.

Quill led with the rest flanking his sides. Drax munching on snacks while Nebula looked menacing and Groot towered over everyone. Cosmo had her tongue out in excitement, Rocket carrying his gun strapped to his back. Mantis’s chin held high, like she was on top of the world and Kraglin trying not to appear lost. Lastly Minerva was drinking a caprisun, Ray Bans covering her gold eyes.

Zemo tilts his head in amusement at the sight. He expected the Goddess, of war nonetheless, to have a more menacing approach like Nebula considering her reputation. But she was just as relaxed and laid back as Drax.

The Guardians walked several paces until they were directly in front of the Thunderbolts. It was then the music stopped, Ross being the first to address them. “You sure know how to make an entrance.”

Quill gave a smug grin, “We know.” Hands go to his hips, “You’re wearing a suit so you must be the boss man. Although I believe there’s also a boss lady we’re here to do business with.”

“Director Fontaine is currently occupied. She’ll be arriving in the morning.”

“I assume we won’t be knowing a damn thing until that happens, huh?”

Ross tightens his lips, “You assume correctly.”

“I told you we should’ve handled it on our own,” Minerva’s glances to Quill annoyed. Surprised by her voice, Zemo's eyebrows raised at her sudden input. Her accent was slightly Italian given her mythological origin is Roman.

Quill clicked his tongue, “We don’t have authority here, Minnie.”

“Midgard is part of the Andromeda Galaxy. Technically we should.”

Now the man was giving her a pointed look after Ross’s body language turned defensive, “I’d rather not get our asses thrown in Earth’s prison system. We go by the rules—the ones we established.”

Minerva grumbles under her breath, finishing the last remnants of her juice pouch, “Would’ve finished the job faster. They wouldn’t even know we were here.”

“Okay well, we’re doing things this way. We’re here as a team to work with a team. Right, Mr. Secretary?”

Ross’ disapproving eyes linger on Minerva, who in return rolls her own, before turning his attention back to Quill, “Yes. Now let’s move on shall we?”

He lets out a breath of relief, “Agreed.” Bidding a warning look to each of his teammates, they all wait for what the man in the suit has to say. Ross extends a hand to the people on either side of him.

“This is my team. All with different levels of skill and experience. Justin Hammer is our tech and weapons specialist,” Justin gives a wave, “Yelena Belova,” Ross points to the blonde in a white tactical suit, “former Black Widow and master assassin.” At the mention of Black Widow Rocket, Nebula, and Minerva all tense, faces becoming solemn at the memory of Natasha. They were the three remaining Guardians during the blip, becoming close with the Avenger.

“Ava Starr, she can phase through anything,” they all look impressed, finding the talent cool. “Antonia Dreykov, who we like to call Taskmaster.”

“Why’s that?” Kraglin asked intrigued.

“She has photographic reflexes and can mimic your fighting powers. Basically use your own moves against you.”

“Niceeee,” all the Guardians echo. Ross points to the two individuals in between Zemo and Yelena.

“Our super soldiers, Captain John Walker and I believe you all know Sergeant Barnes.” Bucky tightens his mouth with a curt nod.

“You still got that arm on ya?” Rocket muses, earning a nudge—well more like a kick—from Minerva. The rest of the Thunderbolts besides Bucky all become wide-eyed at the talking Raccoon…even though it said on the file he could.

But how the fuck else were they suppose to react to a talking raccoon?

All Bucky does is glare, “Don’t even think about it.” Rocket shrugs, “Worth a shot.”

“Why is that one carrying a giant frisbee?” Drax’s mouth is filled with Zargnuts. Walker, the man in question, becomes visibly offended.

“It’s a shield not a frisbee.” Zemo bites back a smirk at the soldier's tone. Not to mention the Guardians' reactions were priceless.

“A shield?” Mantis repeats confused.

“It’s a frisbee,” Drax mumbles.

“Like that circular object Minerva conjures to deflect attacks,” Nebula tiredly explains. Mantis’s mouth forms the shape of an ‘o’.

“And lastly,” Ross sounds just as exhausted as the cyborg, “Baron Helmut Zemo, former intelligence operative.”

“I am Groot,” Zemo’s attention goes to the tree alien, confused by his words. Minerva, seeing his expression, addresses it, “He says he likes your fancy cape.”

‘Cape?’ He thinks, but doesn’t comment on it and his perplexed reaction makes Minerva smirk. Instead Zemo says, “Well, I appreciate the compliment. Thank you.” Groot’s pleased, grinning wide like a child.

It’s then Quill’s turn to formally introduce the Guardians. The Thunderbolts bite back their own amusement at the nicknames and surprise of hearing the dog, Cosmo, speak through her suit with a distinct Russian accent. Afterwards Ross leads them all into the hangar, Minerva removing her sunglasses now that she was inside, allowing her gold eyes to be visible.

From there they all interact, awkwardly for the most part as they have no idea what the hell to do as they wait for further instruction. It soon becomes bickering and even challenging someone in hand-to-hand combat.

Well, what can you expect when a team of heroes meet a team of villains/anti heroes? Rivalry at its finest.

“Any day now, Quill,” Minerva groans, relaxing her stance. Across from her several feet away was Walker, confused by why she was taking so long to attack. They were standing in the middle of the squared off area with the teams surrounding them, but giving enough space to avoid being in the crossfire. Quill was scrolling through his Walkmen.

“What’s he doing?” Zemo whispers to Kraglin, eyes flicking back and forth from the human Guardian and the Goddess.

“Trying to find a good fight song. You know, get the vibes going.” Out on the square Minerva lets out a loud huff signaling her annoyance was increasing.

“Just give me another second—.”

“Quill.”

“I almost got it.”

“Pick a goddamn song!”

“Fine!” Quill shouts, randomly selecting the first one his finger hits. A second later Duran Duran’s ‘Hungry Like the Wolf,’ blasts through all the speakers attached to the Guardians arms. The antiheroes become perplexed, while also noting the song choice. Justin and Yelena started to bop their heads.

“Darken the city, night is a wire. Steam in the subway, earth is afire. (Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do)”

Minerva smirked, retaking her stance. As she lifts her hands, cosmic energy around her consorts to physical matter, taking the shape of a spear and shield in either hand. Wide eyes take over the Thunderbolts.

“Woman, you want me, give me a sign. And catch my breathing even closer behind. (Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do)”

“Wow,” Justin exhales. “In touch with the ground. I’m on the hunt, I’m after you.”

“That’s so cool,” Yelena muses, others muttering in agreement. “Smell like the sound, I'm lost in the crowd. And I’m hungry like the wolf.” Keeping his admirations to himself, Zemo watches the scene unfold in silence.

“First one to step or get thrown out of the square loses,” Bucky shouts over the music, “Ready….” Walker clutches the strap of his shield, Minerva twirling her spear once, “Fight!”

“Stalked in the forest, too close to hide,” Walker lets out a cry, charging at the Goddess. “I’ll be upon you by the moonlight side (Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do,” Minerva blocks his attack, pushing back slightly only to crouch to swipe at his legs, “High blood drumming on your skin, it’s so tight,” Walker dodges her spear, but fails to avoid her kick to his chest, sending him backward. “You feel my heat, I’m just a moment behind.” He brings his shield up in time as her spear barrels down at him. “Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.”

They continue their one-on-one for several minutes, both coming close to getting the other out of the square and the song changing to ‘Cherry Bomb’ by The Runaways—a favorite amongst the Guardians. The entire time Zemo was mesmerized to say the least. Every move she made was effortless, showcasing strengths and ability to predict Walker's moves.

He hadn’t felt such attraction to a woman in so long. And here he was experiencing a feeling that was almost unfamiliar.

Ultimately Minerva wins the battle in what one would call a divine move. At the peak of the song, Minerva’s golden eyes glow bright resulting in the eyes of the owl headpiece to also glow and become animated. It takes form, coming to life and soars straight at Walker, throwing him off by covering his face.

“What the—uuugh!!” He’s flying through the air, back meeting the harsh ground with an audible groan. The owl leaves him, returning to Minerva and consorting back into a headpiece. When it does her eyes dim back to their normal hue. Her team broke out into whistles and hollars, meanwhile Walker’s were unimpressed.

“Guardians for the win!” Rocket cheered.

“I am Groot!”

“Never underestimate the power of Duran Duran!”

Minerva helps Walker up, “Not bad, soldier.” As she turns to head off the pad, her eyes lock with Zemo’s and a wink is sent his way. Heat rises in the Baron, glancing away to hide his smirk.

Oh boy, trouble was on the horizon.

Next Yelena went against Nebula. Their fight was even more intense and nearly ended in a draw. Eventually Yelena overpowered the cyborg and got her to step out of the square. It was a tie. Groot and Rocket teamed up against Ross in the form of the Red Hulk—which took a lot of convincing—the two claiming the win after fooling the General. Taskmaster beat out Quill, handing his ass to him which had the Guardians in a heap of laughter.

“I enjoyed that more than I should have,” Minerva teases, crossing her arms as she takes a spot beside Zemo. He glances at her, mirroring her expression.

“Not a common occurrence for your friend to lose a fight?”

She scoffs, “You’d be surprised by his record.”

Lastly Bucky went toe-to-toe with Drax, and of course Rocket had to yell, “Take his arm and give it to me!” And well….it ended with them tackling each other out of the square.They didn’t know who won at that point, so the teams were tied 2-2 initiating a debate on who should be crowned the best.

“Okay, let’s call it a day,” Ross announces, ending the squabbling between the groups. “Night’s upon us and frankly I could use a drink. We’ll return here first thing in the morning—7am sharp to discuss the threat and where to go,” he turns to Quill, “we’ve got sleeping quarters arranged for you all if you please. Otherwise my guess is you’ll remain in your ship?”

About an hour later, after both teams settled for the night, Zemo decided to take a walk around the flight line. It became a habit of his since joining the Thunderbolts. A way to clear his mind after a long day of briefings and training. He basked in the peace that came with being alone, but there were times he felt lonely and longing for company to share the peace with.

Ten years since losing his family and the pain never strayed. Yet, he managed to live with it. He accomplished his goal in 2016 when he tore apart the Avengers. Likely is to blame for the loss against Thanos resulting in half of the universe’s population turning into dust for five years.

Did he feel remorse for the consequences of his actions? Possibly. Did he regret it? No. At this rate he’s accepted the reputation he painted himself to be.

“Zemo, correct?” The sudden intrusion spooked the Baron, jumping slightly by the glowing eyes in the darkness. A moment later Minerva stepped into the lighting, eyes dimming to normal. She was still in her suit, though her hair was pulled back, white streaks seeping through the natural color.

“Yes, but you may call me Helmut,” he replied, nodding in greeting to the Goddess.

“Helmut,” she tests the name, “like the headwear people use when they ride bikes or spacesuits?”

“That’s one way to look at it, but yes I suppose so.”

“Interesting. What brings you out this late in the evening?”

He shrugs, “wanted to get away from the constant complaining of my comrades,” eyes go to the sky, “and I like to admire the stars.” Minerva moves to his right, glancing up as well.

“They’re much more incredible up close.” He peers down at her, not bothering to question her judgment. She lives in space after all.

“I bet so. I’m sure the view from here is nothing compared to what you’ve witnessed.”

She shrugs, “These stars you don’t even know if they’re still alive. It took years—possibly millions—for the light to reach Earth.” Zemo looks back up, focusing on the North Star.

“For all we know they burnt out ages ago.”

Their eyes connect, Zemo feeling a weight on his chest by the intensity of her gaze. It’s followed by unease when she says, “Natasha told me about you.”

Instantly he looks away, feeling an unfamiliar wave of dread. “Ah.” Here was a discussion he was not expecting, nor willing, to have.

But Minerva didn’t show criticism. In fact, her gaze and tone resembled understanding. “How do you do it?” The question took him aback.

“Do what, exactly?”

“Align yourself with people who go against what you stand for?” Minerva’s tone wasn’t condescending at all, only curious. “Most of your team are enhanced individuals—two are super soldiers to be exact. You went to many lengths to disband the Avengers and put an end to superheroes,” there’s a slight tilt of her head, eyeing the Baron with intrigue, “but you join a group consisting of people who fall between the spectrum of hero and villain where most are the exact thing you wished to eradicate. Not to mention led by two people you wouldn’t say you share similar moral values with. Why join them?”

For the first time in his life, Zemo was at a loss for words. Not a single word uttered as he tried to comprehend what Minerva had just confronted him with. How could he explain? Hell, he didn’t even know the real truth other than wanting to stay out of his cell. A big price to pay in exchange for freedom.

Minerva spoke again before he could respond, “I once committed an act similar to you,” the surprise is evident on Zemo, “Vengeance against those who were responsible for the death of my loved ones. It’s why I was exiled,” a frown appears, her attention returning to the stars. “So I understand you, probably better than anyone here. Understand why you committed those acts to destroy the Avengers. I don’t fault you for what you did—if I did it would make me a hypocrite. You’re not the villain Ross and the Avengers made you out to be.”

“How so?” His voice is strained, “what have you lost?” He didn’t mean to come off as defensive, but the conversation was bringing up emotions Zemo didn’t want to face.

“As Goddess of War all I knew was bloodshed. How to prevent it and how to fight it. Battle strategy was my domain, and the High Council knew better than to question my judgment,” she releases an exhale, “but Mars, the God of War and my brother, was my ultimate rival. He hated how much our father doted on me and agreed with plans I coordinated. It made him feel inferior. He’d do anything to prove himself.” Her tone remains neutral despite the painful memory surfacing.

Zemo remained quiet, picturing the scene as Minerva relayed it. Though stoic the Baron could see the pain and sadness lurking behind her eyes. Managing it as best she could for the sake of her friends. Who knows how many years it’d been since she lost whoever it was close to her. But the hole would always remain.

“To put it short,” she started again, bidding a glance, “Our home was under attack and his rash decision to slow down the enemy led to the death of my family—my husband and children.” Sympathy arose in the Baron, understanding her anguish, “An intentional move on Mars’ part because he believed I wouldn’t be fit to remain on the High Council after stuffing such a loss, therefore he would take my place as Head Commander of our armies and my father’s second Command.”

“He wasn’t exiled?” The question left Zemo before he could stop it. Confused by how the God avoided persecution for his crime, Minvera was shunned. “Your family was targeted.”

Minerva’s smile was bitter, “because their deaths were a result of war, the High Council viewed it as collateral. They failed to see Mars’ responsibility, believing he didn’t intend to kill them. So, I took it upon myself to bring justice. Not only to Mars but also the High Council.” Her smile fell once more, “I made sure they would pay. And they did, but it was far from over after finishing the job. Those who survived didn’t hesitate to throw me out to the wolves once I was contained.”

Zemo nods his head, “where did you go afterward if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I was imprisoned on Xandar for some time,” well they certainly had some things in common, “Once I escaped I became what your people would call a bounty hunter. Where it led me to meeting those clowns I now call my family,” she pauses before adding, “and escaping prison for a second time. Only it was to save the Galaxy.”

The laugh that escapes Zemo surprises him, “I guess it all worked out then.” Once more they lock eyes, twinkling against the stars shining down above.

“I suppose it did.”

Three Years Later

Zemo raced out the door the moment he awoke to rumbling that shook the foundation of his home. After three years he’d recognize the sound in an instant, only this time it was without warning.

An action that rarely occurred.

Throwing on his coat and house slippers, the clock read 2:30 am, flooding the Baron with worry. ‘What is she doing here at this hour?”

Usually when Minerva drops in she gives Zemo a heads up. A day or two’s notice, but recently he couldn’t get a hold of her and passed it off as the Guardians on a job. With the unexpected visit, so late at night, Zemo instantly knew something was wrong.

Hurrying out to the front lawn right as her ship landed, Zemo jogged to where the stairs extended. When they did, the doors revealed his Goddess, still wearing her suit, standing before him. Zemo noted the exhaustion painting her demeanor. Dark circles beneath her eyes, which appeared dimmer than usual, and scars indicating recently healed wounds.

His arms are around her the moment she’s within distance, her own around his neck, “This is a surprise.”

“Sorry I didn’t call,” the exhaustion was evident in her voice. Barely above a whisper causing Zemo to tighten his hold.

“It’s alright, darling. I’m just glad to see you are okay,” his hand runs along her hair, “wanna tell me what happened?” He hears her sniff, increasing his dread, “Close call?”

“Too many,” her voice cracks and there’s a pause. “We almost lost Rocket. We saved him thankfully, but then we nearly lost Peter. And I almost—,” she stops short, not wanting to relive her near death experience. “This was…it was too much for all of us, Helmut.” A kiss is pressed to her head, offering comfort.

“Let’s get you inside, mein schatz.” Zemo leads Minerva into the home, sitting her in the living room while he goes to put a kettle on the stove. Filling two cups of cherry blossom tea, Minerva’s favorite, he joins her in the living room.

After taking her first sip of the brew, Minerva removes the headpiece from her hair and makes herself comfortable before giving Zemo a play-by-play of the past three days. He stays quiet, listening intently but visibly reacts with each awful detail Minvera relays to him. From the unexpected attack from Adam Warlock, to the disgusting abuse Rocket endured at the hands of the High Evolutionary, to Quill nearly imploading in space had it not been for Adam’s change of heart.

Zemo’s knuckles turned white when Minerva spoke of what happened to her. Anger consumed him and he wished he had been there to protect her. Seeing his distress Minerva placed her hand on his, gently squeezing, “I’m okay, Helmut. I’m here now and we all made it out. There were many close calls, but we’re all alive and that’s what matters.”

Taking her hand, Zemo brought it up to brush his lips against her fingers, softly kissing her knuckles. “I don’t know what I would've done if I lost you, Minnie. I—-,” he stops himself to exhale, squeezing his eyes shut, “I would’ve found a way to fly across the galaxy to avenge you.”

“I know you would,” she murmurs, removing her hand but positioning herself in his lap. Arms snake around his neck, pulling him so they were inches apart. “I’d expect nothing less. Also I’d be a hypocrite considering I would do the same for you.” A playful smirk formed, “I was already plotting when Ross let you get captured by those bastards last year. Had it ended any other way, Ross would cease to exist.”

Zemo snickered, “I see we haven’t really changed completely despite our friends believing the opposite. Neither of us hesitating to return to old ways if it comes down to such circumstances.”

She smirks, “No, I don’t suppose we haven’t.”

“What a pair we are,” leaning in, his lips meet hers in a soft caress. Warmth seeping through his veins. That effortless high he believed he’d never have again after the loss of his family.

But he found it with a Goddess in the stars. Where love swept across the galaxy.

When they pull away after a moment, Zemo keeps his forehead against hers. Gold meeting brown. “I’m not sure I can let you go now, liebling. At least not for a while.”

“You never have to anymore,” her words have him startled, the man pulling away slightly to get a better look at her.

“What are you saying?”

Minerva’s gaze turns soft, though there’s slight nervousness, “After everything we all realized something. We found the family we were searching for, but some of us needed to find ourselves. Peter’s here on Earth to find his grandfather. Mantis is off on her own adventure. Drax and Nebula are on Knowhere to help raise the children we saved from the High Evolutionary. Rocket and Groot are leading a new era of the Guardians. And me,” she stops, emitting a gaze full of love that takes Zemo’s breath away. “I’d like to be here. With you, Helmut. If you’ll have me.”

If his heart could explode from the happiness Zemo was feeling it would. Tears were threatening to prick his eyes, the Baron willing himself to remain composed. “Oh, Schatz,” he croaked, cupping the side of her jaw. “I should be the one asking you that. Of course I’ll have you. I love you more than every star in the galaxy.” With that he kisses her, putting all his love and passion it causes her own eyes to water.

“I love you too,” she kisses him again. They remain on the couch, falling asleep eventually curled up in each other’s embrace. Their last thoughts filled with joy as they awaited the new adventure on the horizon.

An adventure just between them. A reinstated Goddess and a fully pardoned Baron opening the next chapter of their lives. Together.

[bumblequinn]

Hi! Medium time listener (I followed after slarpg altered my brain chemistry), first timer asker! What is your process when it comes to composing for games? Is it any different when the subject changes (personal, commission, etc)?

hehehe, well i hope that alteration was a positive one! 😋

so i think there's kind of two sides to this: there's the creative process, and the collaborative process.

The Creative Process

my creative process is actually pretty similar whether i'm working on contract or for personal enjoyment.

first, i consider:

the needs of the prompt in front of me (is it a save menu or a boss battle? is it a tense scene is or a tender one?)

how it should fit into the bigger picture of the whole project (mood/tone, genre, leitmotifs, instrumentation, production style, etc)

what tools i will need to use (subtractive synth or sampler or soundfont or live recording?)

then, i typically write what i call a "skeleton:" just the barest bones of a piece of music. i almost always do this on piano, dividing the bass, harmony, and melody into very distinct registers. i do it this way for several reasons learned the hard way:

first, by dividing parts into clearly delineated registers, i'm saving myself a whole lot of trouble down the line. i have long had a bad habit of over-crowded arrangements, which besides being weaker from a composition standpoint, are also notoriously difficult to mix. and mixing is already hard enough as it is! so writing a strong and well balanced composition from the outset is the best way to go.

second: when you jump into arranging or mixing before the whole piece is written, it's much easier to get stuck. where should i take this track next? i dunno, guess i'll fiddle with the mix. suddenly a week's gone by and i'm still working on a half-written track. if i require myself to write the whole piece out first, then this bottleneck is almost always eliminated.

sometimes you can get really excited about an idea, get carried away with arranging and producing a whole track, get to feeling really attached to it—only for your collaborator to say it's just not the right direction. by limiting myself to one instrument, i don't put in a disproportionate amount of work before confirming whether or not the piece is actually a good fit. and bonus, if it's not a good fit then i have a piece of music written that can serve another project later (or another part of the current project, if i'm lucky)!

of course, i'm not always perfect about this. even very recently, i got really stoked about a track i was cooking up for susan taxpayer and went BANANAS with it—only for punkitt to say she loved it but it wasn't at all the right vibe. a hard but necessary reminder of why i try not to get carried away prematurely!

(don't worry, the one i made to replace it fit like a glove, and the first attempt is gonna be used elsewhere. love wins 😌)

once i do have confirmation that i'm headed in the right direction with an idea though, that's where i really get into it with choosing instruments, designing synths, figuring out the production style, etc. and there's where the real back-and-forth with my collaborator begins, to make sure things are staying on track every step of the way. that leads us to:

The Collaborative Process

for starters, and probably most obviously, different people are different to work with. everyone has different strengths and challenges both creatively and interpersonally, so i try to meet my collaborator where they're at and tune in to their specific needs, vision, and communication style. within reason, i try not to look at these things as being "better" or "worse" with one person versus another, just different!

i think the biggest differences for me as far as how much time and energy i invest into a project are A) whether it's paid or pro bono, and B) my own level of personal excitement about the project.

if i'm doing something purely for fun, it's pretty exclusively because i'm really hyped about the project. because, well, it wouldn't be fun if i weren't, right? and in that situation, i enjoy giving it my all! susan taxpayer falls firmly into this category, and i'm having a blast with it.

SLARPG started out pretty similarly, but as the scope of the project grew, it evolved into more of a pro bono arrangement; bobby and i drafted up a contract and negotiated on how we would split earnings from the game once it released, and that's where i've gotten the vast majority of my income this year. it remained a passion project til the end, but i could not in good conscience put that much of my life into a project of that size unpaid, no matter how much i loved it! (maybe one day, if we collectively defeat capitalism and i no longer have to worry about such things... 🥲)

things get a bit different when you get into strictly contract work, though. when it's something i'm doing for a client who's paying from the start and it's not for my own enrichment, i have more hard and fast boundaries on how much of myself i put into the project. i have specific rates, and offer only so many free revisions before charging additional fees. sure, i can be horribly particular and will revise something a bazillion times to get it "just right" if i'm working on a passion project, but i'm not about to do that for like. a corporate commercial or whatever lol

whether it's for fun or all business, though, i always try to make something i'm proud of. because i want whomever i collaborate with to have something they're happy with in the end, of course! plus i'm kind of allergic to phoning it in, i'm too extra for that 😜

________________

i'm sure i could go on, but i think i'll leave it at that! pardon the slow response, it took me some time to formulate my thoughts for this one. thanks for the question, and take care ^^ 🎵

[duchessonfire]

hello! i just want to tell you how much i love your cegan stories and your writing. i had orignally found your savior!carl series first, and became completely obsessed. i COULD NOT stop thinking about it, and still cannot!!! it's so incredible, i truly think it has altered my brain chemistry. however, since then i have been reading your dead city fic and once again, obsessed. i can't believe you'd end part one on such a cliffhanger though OMG!!! NOW im so excited and invested in the AU you've recently posted.

the style of your writing, the pictures you paint in my mind, and the vibes that you create are beautiful and addictive. i saw on a previous ask, someone said no matter what AU your write them in, they always find each other and it's so true! each time, you have such unique backstories and flashbacks that build an amazing new version of the characters while still remaining true to their original selves.

anyway, thank you for your service!!! it's been so fun going insane over this ship, im sooo grateful you are currently writing about them, when it could've been a dead ship by now. have a wonderful day!!!! :)

P.S after typing this all out i realized you wrote a thing for pathetic losers, too. i had read that one early on when i first started browsing the ship on AO3 and oh my god 😭😭 it had me in my feels for days!!!! pretty much all of your fics are my absolute favorites and hold a special place in my heart. ❤️

Hello!! I was about to go to bed when I saw this and I knew I couldn't go to sleep without thanking you for the SWEETEST message ever 😭❤️❤️❤️

I'm so happy to hear you're enjoying my stories. I'm just having a blast writing different Carls and different Negans and finding new ways to make those two fall in love in every universe, apocalyptic or not.

Honestly, I'm still so grateful for all the writers and readers keeping the Cegan ship afloat when Carl has been gone for so long, but seeing all the new fics in the AO3 tag is really filling me with joy 🤗✨ the ship is more alive now than ever!!

Thank you so much for sending me this, it absolutely made my day ❤️❤️🥰

[pinkpastels113]

do you read books? if yes, do you have any recs? hope ur having a good week !

yesss and mostly romance books lmfao so look out:

she gets the girl- rachel lippincott and alyson derrick

wlw young adult romance where one helps the other be less awkward and nervous in talking to their crush but ends up falling for her instead while "helping," gasp v cutesy and scandalous and adorably cliche no?!

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo- taylor jenkins reid

need i explain further??! it's a modern staple in the wlw community and i am still losing my mind over the plot twist at the end of book and how she was so in love with celia hhhhhhh and ive only read it once so far!! i think i consumed it in like the span of three or four days lmfao bc it was THAT good. i was HOOKTH. the scenes are starting to fade away in clarity in my mind tho (im a very visual reader as in, i visualize and picture scenes in my mind when i fully immerse myself in a book or fanfic) in contrast with the way the book is collecting dust in my bookshelf/nightstand rn AHHAHHA i will need to reread it again soon (and lose my psyche over it!! again!!)

scrappy little nobody- anna kendrick

reaffirmed my love for anna kendrick bc it was very entertaining, amusing, and revelatory for me to read a memoir that was entirely in her voice; it felt as if she was speaking directly to me, yknow?? she was hilarious in her choice of wording and stories and i didn't even realize that i had finished the book until it was the last page <33 she is one of those actresses that actually make you feel like you are on the same earth as them bc they are human too (unlike taylor for me sometimes adfshjhk)

heartless- marissa meyer

slowly making my way through this book rn (amidst work, writing, reading fanfic, being addicted to tumblr, playing wild rift, etc etc) and so far so good! a spin on how the queen of hearts of wonderland came to be (and yes i bought the book after watching descendants ror lolololol bc i became SUPER obsessed with the qoh and her daughter in that universe <33); how she was supposed to marry the king but wasnt really interested in him bc she just wanted an ordinary life aspiring to be a baker and how she secretly fell in love with someone else instead gasp!! forbidden affairs who??! gregory maguire, the author of wicked, had good things to say ab it too so im confident in my rec!

percy jackson and the olympians series- rick riordan

no words needed; one of the first fandoms i got into and still obsessed with percabeth to this day!! i aspire to find my own annabeth chase one day <33

the divergent triology- veronica roth

even tho i spoiled myself with the ending of allegiant this young adult book series CHANGED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY IN MIDDLE SCHOOL I TELL YOU. CHANGED. ALTERED. COMPLETELY DISMANTLED AND RECONFIGURED IT. highly recommend (the movies dont do it justice smh)

after the kiss- lauren layne

ummm so yea im embarrassed to say that i bought the ENTIRE series on kindle as well as the spinoff bc like fuckk i became too engrossed with the characters, the relationships, and their world i fear, a couple years back, and i was lapping up every single morsel of interaction btw them when the author would write them in in other books in the franchise. ever heard of how to lose a guy in 10 days?? wellll this first book in the series is basically exactly like that movie but with the roles reversed, with the guy trying to shake the girl off and the girl desperately clinging onto the relationship bc of/for an article. just with.... smut ADFDJHGHJK (i remember literally trying to search for fanfiction for the franchise bc like how can there not adafhjk. and another thing ab the smut!! it's like... actually really well written?? very emotional and not super duper explicit while still being hot, iirc, at least compared to some of the other stuff that ive read sdfshjk. like there's actually feelings involved separately and bc of the boombayah yknow? i actually wish some of the smut that i come across in fanfic sometimes can incorporate that soft/romantic/angsty aspect too haha)

what else what else hmmm

i never got to finish the fault in our stars but that is a rec too, twilight (if only it's bc it's like a huge cultural phenomenon LOLLLL; from what i have read so far it's... decent?? if a bit cringey), sense and sensibility is decent so far as well; and i just got ahold of my copy of wicked and the wednesday novel soooo yall might (ie definitely will) hear from me regarding those soon tooooo

[bobfloydsbabe]

FIC REC FRIDAY | september 22nd 2023

she calls him daddy – @ereardon ↳ bob floyd x reader

WHY I LOVE IT

When Em first teased this fic, I damn near lost my mind. Nothing could have prepared me for how much I would love it, and reading it altered my brain chemistry. Em is a master at creating atmosphere, adding details and descriptions that paint a vivid picture. She sets up the characters, the dynamic, and the situation just enough to keep readers grounded in reality for when the fantasy takes over. Dilf!Bob is one sexy motherfucker, and if I had to tell you all the reasons I love him, we’d be here all day. Packed into this fic are all the tropes and kinks that melt my brain: praise, orgasm control, possessiveness, forbidden relationship, and an age gap. Another aspect that I enjoyed was the dirty talk. It’s not the most explicit I’ve ever read, but I think it speaks to Bob’s age in this fic. He’s older and more sophisticated, but he still has a mouth on him, and what a mouth it is. The true standout moments in this fic, however, is the communication. Sure, it’s absolutely filthy smut that made so hot and bothered I couldn’t think straight, but Bob and Reader communicate. There’s consent, and check-ins throughout to make sure consent is still enthusiastically given, along with talks of safe sex, including the use of protection and birth control. It doesn’t feel awkward or misplaced, but like a natural part of the story, as it always should be. Consent is sexy. Using protection is sexy. Interwoven with the smut are moments of reality, of normalcy that could take the reader out of the story, but never do because that’s how skillful of a writer Em is. This fic made me crave Dilf!Bob and made me yearn for him to buy me lingerie and do unholy things to me. It’s a fic I keep coming back to, and it gets better with every read.

TOP 3 REASONS YOU SHOULD READ IT TOO

➛ Dilf!Bob. That's it. That's the reason.

➛ Some of the best smut you will ever read. It's not just once, but multiple times and in different ways. It's filthy and glorious.

➛ If you have a daddy kink and a praise kink, this one's for you. As a former gifted kid, it made me absolutely feral, especially coming from an older man.

A NOTE ON THE PROCESS

fics are assigned a number. i then use a random generator and recommend you the fic corresponding to the number the tool picks. all recs are my personal favorites. if there's an author whose work you think i should check out, please reach out.

JOIN THE TAGLIST (form–no personal info required)

REBLOG TO SPREAD THE WORD AND SUPPORT THE WRITER

TAGLIST: @joaquinwhorres, @blue-aconite, @sylviebell, @wkndwlff, @anniesocsandgeneralstore, @desert-fern, @callsign-magnolia, @callsignspark, @bradshawsbitch, @scarlettwidow19, @sebsxphia, @seresinsweetie, @roosterforme, @sweetwhispersofchaos, @ereardon, @yanna-banana, @laracrofted, @horseshoegirl, @teacupsandtopgun, @thedroneranger, @cherrycola27, @bradshawsweetheart, @notroosterbradshaw, @lewmagoo, @sometimesanalice, @broketraveler87, @withahappyrefrain, @seresinhangmanjake, @keyrani, @fanficfandomlove, @bobgasm, @nenelysian

[clockworkspider]

Clock's 2024 Mahoyaku Fic Rec & Review List

Here's some of the fics I've enjoyed this year. I've probably missed some but I'm going by bookmarks and memory. Most of them involves figaro. I've included some of my own fics in here cause I also enjoy reading them.

I've divided them by categories that makes sense to me. When I list a ship they're not divided by topping order.

I've highlighted the mood of each fic with colors. Mind, it's pretty subjective so I don't promise my mood is gonna be your mood or the writer's intended mood.

Kitashitei

scorched earth by erzi Relationship study on the kitashitei family dynamics. Made me feel unwell. I don't wanna reread it again cause I felt sick the first time. You should read it anyway.

—

Figaro/Oz

a chance meeting of strangers, and the end of the world unfolds by erzi For when you finished reading scorched earth and need some healing, read this one. It's a epistolary of correspondences between Figaro and Oz. The character voice is really great here and the limited pov is so charming. There's a lot of levity and a lot of heart. Truly an example of how what you don't see directly can complete the picture better. It ends on a very bittersweet note, so it's healing to me.

as confident as memory by acosmic there is a line by benothinged A Silent Landscape by Sacrifice I'm gonna put these three together, They're all childhood stories of figaoz and they all really have the je ne sais quoi... Childhood FigaOz has a lot of je ne sais quoi. A Silent Landscape in particular has a very haunting quality, while there is a line is quite bittersweet.

—

Faust/Figaro

from an ephemeral place by phuio Figafau roleswap... Faust being the teacher of Figaro. This work really explored their parallels as failed gods in a way that's far more transparent to the characters themselves than it is in canon. Also, little Figaro raised by Faust is an absolute delight and a menace. I would kill for him but I also wanna put him in my pocket. I'd say this is an exhilarating read but in the way of finishing the last puzzle piece and finally seeing the whole picture.

ripen, rot by phuio Figafau post MS2 relationship studies. Figaro visit the east and Faust visit the south. If I were to close my eyes and imagine the platonic archetype of a figafau fic this one would be it. It's just really fundamental to their character dynamic, which is like... Very soft and tender yet fraught with hopes and expectations and grief. The writing for this one is more slow simmering, good for people who likes atmospheric prose to chew on.

Sex Therapy by clockwork_spider Following Shylock's questionable advice, Faust ties Figaro to a bed and then left the room only to freak out at Shylock about it. Something that's both humorous and tugs at the heartstrings.

—

Faust/Figaro/Lennox

perpetual motion by strobelast (sacae) How the three of them becomes a throuple. This is a really good example of a character study that has a fairly low stake premise but also really digs into the core of the characters. Strobelast is good at that. Both humorous and pulls on the heartstring. Tender but fraught. To me, each pair within these three has their own dynamic, so it's very impressive to have them all on the same ground and give equal shine to each character and still have each dynamic within feel distinct. Honestly this fic has so much to chew on but it's also so light hearted. I can read it multiple times and not get tired.

—

Figaro & Mitile

Dead babies do not fuss by sonzorya I have read this fic so many times. The image of Figaro rocking extra fussy baby Mitile neurotically while having a mental breakdown from normal parenthood has permanently changed my brain chemistry. The characterization of this Figaro is very Northern! Which juxtapose with the domestic subject very well. Intense, concise, yet very down to earth.

—

Revgumi

A Firm Hand by clockwork_spider Figaro alters Alec's mind so he'd never doubt the wizards and stay friends with Faust forever. The mood I was going for for this one was devastation. But I've also been told it's quite cathartic to read.

—

Snow & White

snowhi divorce AU by clockwork_spider This is a two-parter where Snow was stopped from killing White. Instead they parted and Snow became a Western wizard. I'd say it's intense, full of love, and very cathartic to read.

—

Riquet Focus

eschaton by erzi A very satisfying Riquet focused case fic exploring his . There's a lot of where his arc is leading up to which canon will one day explore after his scene with Mitile in anni2.

—

Whumpy Guilty Pleasure

I thank these writers for my life, actually. I don't have a review for all these cause a lot of it is what it says on the tin. I like gratuitous torture porn and appreciate anyone who's willing to feed me. Occasionally i'm able to return the favor. There's some explicit descriptions in my review so just consider yourself warned.

The lower this list goes the more explicit it gets.

Buried in the Snow by UnparalleledFocus Figaro gets trapped in snow and has flashbacks to his home town. Really quite soft!

Give and Take by Enkido White invites Snow for tea and feeds him rat poison. This was written specifically for me, I feel. Very sweet and tender and sad.

Maybe we'll be okay by Enkido 100 years later, Northern wizard Mitile fights against Figaro and rips into Figaro's memories. Very satisfying. Mitile rips out Figaro's vocal cord with his teeth at some point. Actually very sweet and tender.

To drown by clockwork_spider Figaro gets waterboarded by the twins. This one actually have more aftermath/comfort than torture. Comfort that's the opposite of comforting really does it for me.

A Feast by clockwork_spider Isaac/Figaro cannibalism. Very horny but in a sad way.

Drag it Out of Him by Zerotaste Figaro and the twins torture Bradley. There's this one part where Figaro dislocates Bradley's shoulders and then slash his leg tendons so he could neither hang from his arms or try to stand... Really that's such a masterful bit I think about it in trying times. Overall this fic's a bit more on the descriptive/physical side, which I'm not actually super into. But if you're someone who wanna read all the details in a torture scene this is really good.

Dazed and confused by tamaorin_shadow Noncon Mob/Bradley So this one's in CN and I don't have the fortitude to translate it fully, but I do reread it sometimes. The premise is that the twins seals Bradley's magic and hands him to human authorities, who assaults him. It's very violent. Includes genital mutilation. Great shock value. I'm a bit obsessed.

—

Annnd I'll leave it at that for now. A lot of these writers have a pretty good repertoire and if you liked any fics here I really recommend just browsing through their stuff and filtering by your fav. (*cough* I wrote like 30 fics last year. *cough*)

If you'd like to add to this list, feel free to just add in the reblog. Or better yet, make your own!

If you see your fic in here and would like me to take it out for any reason just reach out to me and I'll do it. Thanks!

[lgbtlunaverse]

I think i need to explain why this line makes me go so feral

I think the "fine! I'll kill myself after I kill you" line from nie mingjue in chapter 49 permanently altered my brain chemistry and it has something to do with precisely how i got into the mdzs fandom space in the first place.

I've mentioned it a few times but i started watching the untamed in late 2019 right as it was blowing up everywhere and, likely due to a combination of undiagnosed adhd wrecking my ability to be interested in anything for longer than 4 seconds and me very much not being used to the specific style of acting, especially during fightscenes, i never finished it. The only concrete memory i have of it is seeing wen qing's face and meng ziyi completely short circuiting my little gay brain. I remember more of staring endlessly at pictures of her than I remember of the plot. Press F to pay respects.

Flash forward a few years and a friend recommends me a fic writer for an fma fic (the fic riter in question is metisket) and i like their stlye so much i decide to read other stuf they've written. Here we get to our prime suspect: "the one body problem" a genuinely hilarious fic where jingyi gets posessed by wei wuxian like a year before the plot happens and they become awkward brain buddies. 10/10 i loved it (and still do) even though i remember huasiang showing up in my first reading and I, having fully forgotten his name, had no fucking clue what was going on. (Little did i know...)

Anyway flash forward ANOTHER year and I decide to reread that fic, and then the other untamed fic metisket wrote, a wen qing time travel fix it that's also real fun. And then i'm like. huh. that's fun. wonder if there's anything in their bookmarks.

And then, within 20 days, I had read approximately 350 fics. Many of them 100k+ words. I cannot stress enough how much this CONSUMED my brain's ability to do or think about anything else. I now think back to the early days of getting my adhd diagnosis and insisted that while i had pretty much all other symptoms, I did not get hyperfixations. Lol. Lmao, even.

I am mainly focused on wangxian and the junior quartet becuase they are my baby ducklings and i love them. I do come across some 3zun fics and I think huh... this is interesting. But the 3zun brainrot is LIGHT at this point.

The thing about reading more than 350 fanfics is that at some point you kind of piece the plot of the source material back together backwards. Especially because my favorite genre was time travel fix its, where characters relive the whole plot and like to make allusions to all the ways everything went wrong last time.

Because I'm still squarely in my wangxian + juniors (plus a heavy dosis of yunmeng sibling reconciliation) corner here... the feelings on jin guangyao in my fandom corner are. different from where I'd end up soon after. He is my special little guy though, so I do kind of immediatley develop a fondness for him, and I approach my 3zun and early nieyao thoughts specifcially from the assumption that the widespread opinion is that nie mingjue is a fine good guy and jgy is the evil one (I have not seen the bad nmj takes yet. well... I am seeing DIFFERENT bad nmj takes but they're nice to him. In, like, the wrong way. With no solid undertanding of the inherent tragedy at the heart of him that makes him so blorbo to me. But still.) major reactions to the stairs scene as I see them on twitter are "girlboss! He should've kicked him harder 💅"

And the baby jgy apologist in me goes :/ me no likey. And at this point I am also actively seeking out metas and analysis posts so i'm seeing some better opinions than that and getting a halfway solid graps on the themes. wwx and jgy being foils becomes very obvious to me very quickly. So, with my curent understanding of the plot, I go... you know all you people who are like "god i wish nmj would have killed jgy sooner" it uhh... kinda sounds like he'd have died if he did that. If he'd killed him before meng yao had gone off to spy there is a very big chance they'd have lost the sunshot campaign and most of the main cast would be dead. If he'd killed him at the stairs that's... well that's killing your sworn brother, which by the canon's own admission is a universally reviled crime, and jin guangshan could easily take advantage of this by demanding nmj's head in retribution, since he already wanted to get rid of him anyway. He doesn't give a fuck about a-yao of course but he could pretend well enough that he does. And what leg would nmj have to stand on? The jin clan is canonically both willing and able to slaughter entire clans for the murder or attempted murder of the leader or his family, and nie mingjue is the kinda guy who'd immediately offer himself up if it meant the rest of his clan would be spared.

This combined with jin guangyao specifcally dying for his murder of nie mingjue, with huaisang basically not caring much about everything else he does and wanting to get revenge only for his brother, it gives nieyao a sort of mutual doomed soulmates feel. For either of them, killing the other would spell death for themselves. They either both die or they both live, one cannot live on without the order. That's crunchy. I like it.

The fire palace though? well, on meng yao's part there is a real argument that if he'd let nmj get killed immediatly instead of dragging it out he wouldn't have been able to get wrh alone and distracted enough to assasinate him, so that's one half of the mutual doom coin, and if nmj had killed him during their fight there he's also done for. But after? Right before Xichen intervenes? I had no answer for that yet.

(You know what's coming. I did not)

It is at this point that i realize that if this is gonna keep being A Thing then i need to read the source material before I catch fatal fanon poisoning. Yes, I can piece together the plot and themes from seeing what stays consistent across fics and what are the author's own opinons. But I know just as well that sometimes fanon just agrees on shit that didn't happen and treats it like canon, and I have no way of knowing which is which. So I start reading the novel.

And of course, eventually I get to the empathy sequence. And remember, my "nieyao both live or both die" theory is heavy on my mind at this point, and the only stickler is that nmj could sort of have killed meng yao after the confrontation with wrh, still believing meng yao was actually working for him, and not a spy, and get off... not scott-free, Xichen won't be happy, but it's not gonna cost him his life.

And then I read THIS.

Please Imagine dropping a whole block of pure elemental sodium into water. Except the sodium is this quote and the water is my poor little delicate brain. Not only is my theory right, it is ten times more unhinged than i thought it was.

And considering that Nie Mingjue does not seem like the kind of guy who'd consider something like a life debt to have an expiration date, and because after this he will link himself legally and socially to jin guangyao as family and declare that one among their brotherhood turning against the others is to be met with a painful death, I can no longer read the scene at the stairscase in jinlintai without the impression that he is still planning to die afterwards. Which, if you wanted to make that scene even more painful, this is a very efficient way of losing all your remaining hinges.

I think I'd have gone crazy about this line no matter what context I heard it in, but this one specifically? where I'm already obsessed with idea of nieyao's deaths being connected by the narrative and missing just this one piece and having it confirmed? out loud? from one of the characters himself? It's like giving cocaine to a baby.