#this page was done with my right hand but i'm trying to improve my left hand too

[yardsards]

practicing my penmanship some more

[fetusgooseandjuice]

I Understand, It Wasn’t Your Fault

Pairings: Shuri Udaku x fem!reader

Summary: An attack on Wakanda leaves your girlfriend feeling stressed and guilty. That stress causes her to have a nightmare, and she accidentally hurts you.

Word Count: 1,617

Your POV:

"Hey beautiful," Shuri said as she walked into your shared bedroom.

She had spent a good portion of the day in her lab, working on improvements for her suit. There was a recent attack on Wakanda that had left everyone pretty shaken up. Although Shuri and the Dora Milaje had handled it phenomenally, there were still some unfortunate casualties and your girlfriend couldn't help but blame herself.

She was now the Black Panther. The protecter of Wakanda and she thought she should've been able to save them.  You of course knew that it was practically unavoidable and there wasn't really anything she could've done to change that. But, she still felt like she had let everyone down.

"Oh hey, you finally done?" you asked her looking up from your book.

She made her way into your wardrobe to get some more comfortable clothes, "Not yet. I just needed a break, so I thought I might as well be done for the day." she smiled at you while changing.

You just hummed and grabbed a bookmark from your nightstand to mark your page before setting the book down.

"What have you been up to all day, hm? I'm sorry I didn't spend much time with you today. I just really want to get this done and-" she started to say as she climbed into bed with you, but you interrupted her before she could start rambling.

"It's okay, Shuri. You don't need to apologize, I understand. I haven't been up to a lot today. Just helping out with the clean up in town and I started that book you got me." you reassured her and then answered the question.

You noticed the change in her demeanor when you said that. Her smile faltered and then faded as she looked down at her hands.

"Hey? Hey baby, what's wrong?" you asked, concerned.

"I-" she started, but hesitated.

"You know you can tell me anything." you reminded her.

"It's not fair how you have to clean up my mess. If it wasn't for me, then the town wouldn't look like it does right now. I could have prevented everything that happened, but I just wasn't good enough. You almost got hurt too. The only reason you were in the building that was bombed was because I asked you to pick up something for me. I was supposed to protect you, but instead I put you in danger. It was my fault." she admitted her bottled up feelings to you for the first time.

Hearing how she was feeling was hard for you because you didn't know how much she was effected by this. Especially how she's blaming herself for you having been involved in it.

"Shuri, none of that was your fault. You couldn't have predicated that attack. Even if you did, people were bound to get hurt. But it was all unavoidable. You and Dora Milaje did the best you could do and you kept all of these other people safe. You protected us just like you always do even if it doesn’t feel like it."

You were trying to get her to stop being so hard on herself. She sighed and nodded her head.

"I know, I'm sorry, angel. I don't mean to burden you with all of this or make you feel like I'm neglecting you while I work on my suit. I just think it'll really help me once I’m done with it.” she said.

"You could never burden me. I'm always here for you, and I understand that you need to spend a little more time in the lab. If you think that those improvements are what's best, then I'll support you while you do it. Just promise me you'll talk to me whenever you feel like this." you reasoned with her.

"I promise." she said, gently smiling down at you. She put her hand on your cheek and stroked her thumb over it.

"You know I love you so much, Y/N." she whispered.

"I know, I love you too." you told her and she leaned down to softly press her lips onto yours, giving you a loving kiss.

When you pulled away, she turned off the lamp on the bedside table as you both laid down and cuddled into each other, falling asleep for the night.

~~~

Second Person POV:

You've been peacefully asleep for a couple hours, the sound of the fan being the only noise in the room. That was until you were woken up by your girlfriend mumbling in her sleep.

When you opened your eyes, you were confused as to why your body had woken you up. But that confusion was topped by concern when you heard your girlfriend talking in her sleep.

Her words were incoherent and incomprehensible as she was fast asleep, but when she began to slowly thrash around, you were now aware that she was having a nightmare.

Shuri has had nightmares before, but none as recent and intense as this one. You would normally give her little taps on her shoulder to gently wake her up instead of completely startling her awake. But when you tapped on her shoulder this time, what you expected to happen was not what actually occurred.

"Shuri, baby. Come on wake up." you whispered as you nudged her shoulder.

She then suddenly shot up, sitting upright in the bed. You were startled by how quickly she moved, but your surprised reaction was interrupted when you felt a hand roughly grabbed your neck and put pressure around it, effectively cutting off your airway.

Your eyes had finally adjusted to the darkness of the room, so you were able to make out that it was Shuri who was choking you.

"Shuri-" you tried to say but it came out quiet and breathy as you were struggling to breath. You resulted in tapping and prying at her hand that was around you neck, trying to get her to release you.

But when that didn't work, you started to try to move away from her, but you were finding it very difficult to because of the grip she had on you.

Just as your eyes were about to roll back, indicating that you were going to pass out from the lack of oxygen, Shuri let go of your neck and you gasped for air.

When you were finally able to get air back into your lungs, you could focus Shuri. She still looked very tired, but she had her hand covering her mouth, speechless at what she had just done.

You were able to come to the conclusion that she was just now waking up from her nightmare. The intensity of the dream was much higher than normal, and being woken up from it had caused her to react like she was in danger. So you knew that she was not fully conscious for everything that had just happened.

"Oh my god," she whispered to herself, looking at the hand she had around your neck.

"Shuri-"

"I- I did that? I hurt you." she said in disbelief, cutting you off.

"You weren't conscious you-"

"I just choked you. I hurt you." muttered to herself, realizing what she had just done.

"Shuri you were reacting from a nightmare, you were unconscious and unaware." you told her. You knew it wasn't her fault and you admit you were still a little stunned, but right now you need Shuri to know that she wasn't to blame.

"Y/N I almost killed you! How are you not afraid of me?" she was crying now.

"Because I know that it was your body's instinct to protect itself while you were asleep. I was the one who tried to wake you up which triggered that fight or flight response. I know you would never do that if you were conscious, baby please." you told her softly, cupping her cheeks.

You didn't want her to feel guilty for it. She was already stressed from everything that had just happened a few days ago, and that stress resulted in this intense nightmare that you woke her up from.

"I- I hurt you, Y/N. I- choked you and-" you interrupted her as she began to cry harder, so she was stuttering.

"Shh its okay. I’m okay." you said as you put your arms around her neck to pull her into a hug.

She was hesitant to hug you back as she was still afraid she'd hurt you again. But she eventually put her arms around your waist and buried her face in your neck.

You spent a few minutes like that, letting her calm down and process everything she was feeling right now.

"I'm sorry." she whispered into your neck.

"I know, I know. It's okay, I don't put you at fault." you quickly reassured her.

"How about we go back to sleep, try to get a few hours of good rest, and then in the morning you can tell me about your nightmare, mkay?" you asked.

She looked dubious about going back to sleep, worried she have another dream and possibly hurt you again, but she complied, nodding her head as she was still really tired.

You laid back down and this time you held her, wanting her to know that she was safe with you and you weren't scared of her.

"I love you, darling. Don't say it back right now. I just want you to hear that I really love you." she said and you kissed her head.

The rest of the night was uninterrupted, and you let her ramble to you in the morning, wanting her to talk about her stress so that this hopefully doesn’t happen again.

[negative-ease]

earlier i joined the body. i don't think i've ever done a top-down sweater before.

[pattern: sweater no. 23; yarn: queensland kathmandu aran, peridot]

the picture is all weird cause my (iphone 8) camera could not see green at ALL. it was like a fully grayscale photo so i went wild with the sliders just to try and get it remotely accurate. it's green! but a slightly cooler (less yellow) green.

this has been an extremely enjoyable project so far. in december i was talking to my friend dea about things we want to pursue in 2024 and one of the major ones for me is... i still haven't figured out a way to articulate this that i'm happy with but... taking myself more seriously? respecting myself or time more? i mean, i DO respect myself it's more about combatting bad adhd habits using different framing... something like that.

so, the two main tangible things in the goal/philosophy were: finding a new PT and really trying to fix my shoulder pain, and being more deliberate with my knitting projects.

instead of rushing into casting on and getting started: i did a real gauge swatch, maybe for the first time ever. i changed my needle size accordingly. i measured myself and did the necessary math to choose the right size. i tested the increases to make sure i was rewriting it for left-handed knitting correctly. and when i made a very minor error, i frogged back and fixed it because the error was around the part of the sweater i most want to look perfect. (the 4st band at the top of the shoulders. if you look at the photos on the pattern page you'll see it really clearly. i saw someone wearing this sweater and that was the detail that jumped out at me and that made me want to make it.)

i think it helped that i had another project - the hats - to get done so when i wanted to 'just knit' i could work on that instead. multi-tasking win?

so it's been really satisfying and i've definitely noticed improvements based on all the projects i've finished recently, for example, i picked up the shoulder stitches perfectly on both sides on the first try. i also started a dedicated project notebook which has been very helpful and is the realization of a plan i had in mind literally since high school knitting era. never too late.!

[poupeesdecirque]

Incomings, WiPs & Plans for February

First of all, my big announcement for this month: I bought the doll base for Howard Link <3 he will be a Charmdoll LaiKa! As the boy got released I instantly knew this will be my Link, I waited almost 7 months the last time so .. I don't think I will see him before summer.

My current incomings look like this now:

No updates on the other bodies or Pallu by now, but that's okay C:

In terms of Work in Progress dolls, those are the dolls that are currently unfinished:

Yup, you see that right. That pile SHRANK down to basically the ones needing bodies and Darjeeling. And Darjeeling is just waiting for a dress to be finished then.

I *could* start on Adam's clothes as I have the pattern and fabrics here but I think i will do that once his body got shipped. For Kanda and Maple I need the bodies for measurements.

Everyone else is finished. Only small adjustments or upgrades left like swapping eyes or shoes. For bby!Allen I am still working on some little additions, like a plushy

Not done cutting parts here, I'm considering doing a scaled up version for personal fun reasons, why not having a huge Timcampy?

Other than that I will most likely spend the next day tidying up my sewing mess and organizing fabrics, buttons and materials, I.. went a bit wild the last days.

Because yeah... you maybe were able to guess it but Lavi is done. Just finished him today, I have yet to put his photos into the queue, I'm trying to sort my mind right now because the last month was a lot. All I can tell right now is that it feels like a huge burden is off my chest, I think the curse is finally broken, he lost his 'tainted' status shortly after I wrote the blog entry about those dolls but now the 'preorders from hell' finally came to an end (I ignore the one going on though I just sit here and wait that's okay) and that's just ... wow. That needs to sink in.

Inbetween I'm working on my assinged page for the redraw project, I want to give it more time than I usually take as this project is special and I draw a lot therefore improve here and there and I don't want to redo the whole thing in like 2 weeks again just because I rushed it x_x'

When Tim is done I will revert to working on Cosplay and will start on my variant of Crown Clown, which is roughly planned for the Dokomi to be finished. I tested some of the materials today and I think this will be a fun project overall as I can be more artistic this time.

While we are at 'artistic' I have an appointment on the 16th to get my 4th tattoo, this will go onto my left arm to continue my sleeve. It's just my sketch, my artist want to mash up several ideas for the border to match more with the vibe of the Manga & the rest of my shoulder.

He was also amazed how well my shoulder tattoo has healed and how great the shading came out. Dunno if I will be able to do much after getting the tattoo but I'm right handed therefore... maybe a bit less on the strenght training then.

Oh, my juggling has advanced a bit, I am now able to catch 3 balls more than once, I'm still not close to juggle 3 balls but tiny steps here.

Doll Photoshootings is the thing getting time cut though, the weather here is awful anyways :/ hope it will get better soon but the days get longer and then I have more time in the evenings.

[gilmoreblog]

𝐆𝐢𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐜

Where Rory Gilmore writes a rather destructive article about Jess Mariano, a famous author.

However, things get out of hand when Jess goes after Rory to get satisfaction. Seeming to be very, very angry.

☄︎. *. ⋆⋆·˚ ༘ *

It was a pleasant morning for Rory Gilmore. Her e-mail inbox was overflowing with countless messages about her newest article.

Hugging the hot mug of coffee in her hands, Rory smiled, lying face down on the bed. She stared at her laptop screen, reading the super positive feedback she had received from Alexa Moon.

The article had been a success. Writing about Jess Mariano had been the best thing she had ever done. Although he was a well-known author and also a New York Times bestseller, critiquing others' works was Rory's born gift. And she definitely loved it.

Rory was still smiling, surfing excitedly over her email list, when someone knocked on the door. A loud and violent and angry knock, which repeated itself countless times after the previous knock.

Rory found it strange. Who could it be?

Slowly and suspiciously, she got out of bed, left her mug on the bedside table, and walked to the door.

As soon as she opened it, however, Rory's eyes widened, taking a step back.

It was Jess. Jess Mariano. With a unique expression of anger on his face.

She watched, stunned, as he tried to control his own breathing, his lips crisp and his eyes glittering with anger. His chest rose and fell, giving away the fact that he had possibly run that far.

“H-how did you get here?”, Rory asked in desperation. “How do you know where I live? What are you doing here?”

Instead of answering, Jess let out a sarcastic laugh, running a hand through his hair.

“So you know who I am. Of course you do. You know so well that you even wrote an article defaming me, didn't you?”

Even though she knew that the neighbors must have been listening, since he was standing in the middle of the hallway, Rory just bowed her head, slightly embarrassed.

“It wasn't a slur”, she muttered, as if trying to convince herself of the fact.

Jess moved closer, tilting his head to hear better. He looked completely disbelieving.

“Wasn't it? Are you telling me this wasn't a smear?”

He rubbed the page of an article violently across Rory's face. It surprised her. Was he carrying a copy of his article? Maybe he had printed it out himself so that he could have proof of what he was saying, but still...

Rory stammered, unsure of what to say. The truth was that there was really no way to defend herself. She knew what she had done was wrong. She only went down this path because she was desperate, afraid of losing her job. Finally, realizing what she had to do, Rory swallowed and bowed her head again.

“I'm sorry”, she murmured.

Jess Mariano went back to pacing around in front of his apartment door. He seemed to be having trouble calming himself down.

“Unbelievable”, he grumbled. “Unbelievable.”

“Um... you…”, Rory began, looking back uncomfortably before turning back to face him, "would you like to come in? So we can talk about it in here?”

Jess stopped, looking at her seriously. He was still angry. She could tell right away.

When the writer didn't answer, Rory just stepped aside, inviting him in.

“Please”, she said. “I would be happy to explain why I did that.”

Finally, seeing that he didn't have much choice, Jess walked contritely inside, maintaining his rigid posture as he entered. Rory hurried to close the door, turning awkwardly toward his visitor. Not knowing what to do or say, she began running her hands through her jeans, which were already sweaty from the sudden event. She felt guilty. Especially knowing that she had enjoyed writing the article, that she had not regretted publishing it. This was the worst part.

“I... didn't mean to offend you with my publication”, Rory began. “It was just... an article, pointing out where you could improve. You... you can take it in the positive direction, you know”

She was sure that her words sounded totally uncertain and untrustworthy. Feeling exposed and embarrassed, Rory crossed her arms over her chest, as if trying to protect herself.

“Bright side?”, Jess repeated aggressively, turning to her. “Is that what you have to tell me? Take it to the positive side?”

She noticed that he had put his hands on his waist, a gesture men only do when they are really angry.

“Well... yes", Rory said. “I mean, one way or another, I publicized your work. I'm sure my article will make people interested in your book. In the end, everybody wins.”

“It's not a matter of winning or losing”, Jess said snidely, stepping closer to Rory. She took another step back, but that didn't intimidate him. “It's my image. An image that I didn't give you the right to use in an article. Even more so when you disrespect my work!”

“I was just being honest”, Rory said firmly, lifting his chin. “I didn't like your book and I wrote about it. Deal with it.”

Jess stopped walking. He half-lidded his eyes, analyzing her. Then he stepped forward. And another. Rory backed away, until she was forced to stop when her back slammed into the wall. She held her breath. Jess Mariano kept coming closer, stopping only when his face was inches from Rory's. It was then that the anger stopped.

And it was then that the anger seemed to vanish from the writer's countenance. With the rapidity of a particle of light, Jess's gaze descended to her mouth, landing there continuously. Silence invaded the place. All Rory could hear was her own heartbeat, seeming to resound against his ears. His breath beat against her face, causing her mind to clear immediately.

Suddenly, a magnetism seemed to want to join her lips to his. Rory realized that she needed that. She needed to come closer, just a little bit closer.

Taking her completely by surprise and at an astonishing speed, Jess kissed her, devouring her lips aggressively, pulling her to him, holding her in his arms. Rory found himself immediately wanting more. Longing for more. She savored Jess Mariano's soft lips, his tongue roaming her mouth, the way he seemed to desire her. Her skin burned, the energy pulsing through Rory's veins.

The feeling of happiness and desire and lust mingled inside her. So all she did was give herself up to that moment. Nothing else mattered, after all. Least of all the fact that she was just kissing Jess Mariano, the famous author that Rory had criticized.

Life really was a funny thing.

[its-short-for-jackalope]

greetings! i have made a thing! ✨️two✨️ things!

✨️ sketchboooooooooooks! ✨️

it took longer than anticipated (I've been trying to get this done since the end of last year, oops) but I finally finished putting these together today. all that's left to do is decorate the covers and start drawing in 'em!

they are slightly–moderately wonky and pretty clearly handmade, but I love them. gives em charm. these are only the second and third books I've made myself so I'm still learning.

if you're interested I'll drop a few more photos and babble a little about the process under the cut! (definitely not a tutorial if that's what you're hoping for lol i was winging it the whole time)

okay so we'll start with the little guy. this is meant to be more of a travel sketchbook.

I wanted something fairly small that I could take on the go without it being too much of a hassle, because I'm also hoping to get out more and like... go for walks to the park or the cemetery or w/e and try doing some studies and life drawing and such. or just get some fresh air and doodle while I make a valiant attempt to get some vitamin D.

THE PROCESS

both sketchbooks are made out of materials I just had lying around, but this one is even more "recycled" lmao

i took the inside pages from an old sketchbook, and about half of them had previously been used, so I went and erased my old sketches as much as I could (they were bad and low effort, so it's no loss I assure you) and that was a boring and frustrating endeavor but it was worth it because, well, I get to use the paper again! I did a very poor job the first time around, I almost never drew on both sides of the page and so many pages were just one shitty sketch and nothing else 🙈

i sorted the pages into signatures (tried to mix up the used and new paper because it'd annoy me if I had just like one big chunk of ghost drawings and then the rest of the book was good and clean lol) and stitched those together and then put just a couple layers of glue on the spine to hold it together.

I made the cover by gluing two pieces of thin cardboard together for each part (front cover, back cover, spine) to make em sturdier, and then I trimmed them down to size and glued the pieces to a paper shopping bag. I didn't have the patience to try flattening the cover under a heavy book or anything, so it's a little warped and will kind of open up on its own so I'm just using the binder clip to hold it closed. plus idk it looks cool!

once the cover was done and dry I just... glued it all together! added the end pages i cut out of construction paper to the.. chunk of book? the book brick? (is there a technical word for it when the signatures are all together....?) and then glued the other sides of the end pages to the inside covers.

now for the second book! the big boy!

this fella was intended to be the grand, improved follow-up to the first sketchbook I put together, and I started working on it right when said first book started running out of paper.

this one is the wonkier of the two but I think it's definitely a few steps up from the original, and I'm pleased with it. this is gonna be my everyday sketchbook, so I wanted it to have a ton of pages so I can use it for a good long while. I think it's at least twice as thick as my first sketchbook. 😂

THE PROCESS

...basically the same as the travel sketchbook, just bigger! the pages are sourced from a different sketchbook, one I started using in high school and promptly forgot about upon graduation.

fun fact: the end pages are covered in countless tiny little hatch lines that i drew by hand while I watched/listened to something on my computer. I don't quite remember what I was watching at this point, but it was almost certainly something from Starkid... probably VHSCC on repeat, since I did this part back in november/december. it might sound tedious but I shit you not I was thrilled to do this part and it was just a blissful neurodivergent turn the brain off and vibe kind of time.

the biggest difference in this process was doing the cover; it's not cardboard, it's some kind of particle board.. thing that was salvaged from the back of a busted picture frame. it is VERY stiff and sturdy and I did not cut the pieces out so much as score the board with my box cutter as deeply as I could, bend it back and forth, and pray it didn't break. 😅 the cover-cover is from the same bag I used on the smaller book!

most of the wonkiness comes from the fact that the cover is sliiiiiiiightly too small for the book brick inside. I had limited material for the cover so I couldn't stretch that at all, I made the cover as big as I possibly could, but I also did not feel like trimming the inside pages so that they would fit better because that would have taken FOREVER and also probably killed me. 😫 soooo the pages stick out a little bit, but that's fine and it doesn't bother me much. 🤷🏻‍♂️

and that's my two sketchbooks! finished em both up over 3 days after procrastinating for at least a month. and now that they exist I can finally draw again!!! been wanting to do that for WEEKS.

if you read all of this I hope you got something out of it, lol. whether you did or didnt, here's a skull for your troubles.

😊🤲🏻💀

enjoy!! <3

[catofadifferentcolor]

The Old Guard: Force Multiplied

It's always easier to just ignore your sins than to confront them.

I stumbled quite by accident on The Old Guard two weeks ago, as part of a crossover with another fandom. At that point I’d only heard of the comic as the inspiration for a movie that came out on Netflix shortly after I got rid of my account, but I was intrigued enough that I went looking for more. 

Contrary to my usual order of things, I ended up reading a lot of the fanfic first - and then went looking for the movie. Unfortunately, it was only on available on Netflix - and such was my intrigue that after three days of wrestling with myself I reopened my account just to watch the movie.

I was able to get my hands on the first two installments of the graphic novel this weekend and read Opening Fire yesterday - and was largely impressed. Force Multiplied leaves me with much different feelings, mainly because it doesn't make sense.

Don't get me wrong. I understand where Noriko is coming from. I get that she feels betrayed for not being rescued and that anyone is bound to be a bit mad after endlessly drowning for the last five hundred years. What I don't get is how one goes from all of that to and so the whole of humanity has to suffer. Of which there are certainly easier and more thorough ways to go about it than human trafficking and organized crime - a war, for instance. That she'd want to get back at Andy - yes, sure. That all of humanity has to pay for it - not so much.

Honestly, it kind of makes me glad they altered her character to Quynh for the movie, because at least it gives her a reasonable expectation of being rescued and therefore a better reason to feel betrayed.

Leaving Andy at the end doesn't make sense either - unless it was a ploy to figure out what Noriko was up to. Setting aside all issues of judging the past by present standards and writing off those same issues as just the way it was then, one must acknowledge character growth. Whatever Andy might have once done, whatever she might once have believed, she is currently trying to do good by helping people. Is she perfect? No. Should she be forgiven for doing things she knew to be wrong? No. But abandoning her for not always being a beacon of modern morals seems... wrong. Especially when it's the youngest making that call.

Not everyone starts on the right side of history. If we cannot grow as people - if we cannot acknowledge we have done wrong and work to better ourselves - if we are not allowed to change and have our change acknowledged - than why bother changing at all? Just because most redemption arcs end with the redeemed dying doesn't mean we should ignore that the redemption happened. The path is hard and the past unforgivable... but if someone tries to improve, you have to let them.

I'm not sure what I'm going for here other than that the narrative seems confused. Which I suppose is understandable when you're trying to boil down deep issues of philosophy and ethics into a hundred page graphic novel. Maybe I need to do a couple rereads to find some nuance I'm missing... but mostly I'm just confused.

...and a little apprehensive about TOG2. The first movie followed the first installment fairly closely. If the second follows the same pattern, well, I hope the additional screen time can flush out the narrative that really needs about six issues of backstory and another six of context to make better sense.

Beyond that, there's much I still want to know about these characters and all the ways they touched history and slow, creeping feeling of certainty that I'll never get it. Maybe Tales Through Time will have some of the character-driven backstories I'm hoping for, but we'll have to wait and see.

A regretful three out of five, mostly just for the WTF I'm left feeling.

[frogsandfries]

Hopefully real quick

Because on the one hand it's bothering me, and on the other hand, again, I still want to get some typesetting work done.

So, I know I mentioned that I got a book. I don't think I remember mentioning or showing which book it was. It's Little Bead Boxes by Julia Pretl.

It's supposed to be an easy to follow guide. But it's not. And it's bothering me.

My granny didn't teach me beading. I am entirely self-taught when it comes to beading. My dad kind of just indulged me with a pack of beads and I had to figure it out from there. I did use some magazines from the library to learn some stuff, but of course, the magazines assume you're an adult with a tray of a variety of stuff. I only had one packet of seed beads, so maybe a lot of opportunities were lost there.

I really had to improvise and reverse engineer to figure this out for myself, like last night, digging scrabbling really, with increasing desperation and frustration, for a guide that showed how to peyote stitch a triangle in a way that made sense for me.

From there, now I'm sitting here trying to get a couple steps ahead in my mind. I don't really want to be stuck when it comes to the going into three dimensions with the beadwork, which is the whole point of acquiring the book: Finally learning something interesting to me to do with the beaded projects that I create, seeing as bracelets and necklaces give me sensory issues.

But I'm trying to continue my reverse engineering to really figure out what the hell I'm supposed to be doing, per the pattern, both to increase my skill in reading patterns, as well as to confirm that I'm doing this correctly so that I can ensure when I get to the more complicated patterns, I can actually follow them, since this book is, funny enough, not really aimed at visual learners.

I'm sitting here I wish I had some vellum and some decent quality sticky notes so that I can annotate the book for myself without messing up the book by scribbling all over it.

First, having the rows in the diagrams numbered would have been a great addition. I frogged my triangle like three times thinking I was doing it wrong. Second, some kind of page that explains like you're five how to read the damn pattern. Like, okay, A(1) means one of color A. But what the fuck is "nc"; why is this thing bolded and that thing is not. What the fuck is the ellipse for.

Oh, my third big issue is that increasing is included right there in the written instruction section, but fucking decreasing is in it's own section. What the hell! Who allowed this?? This organization makes no goddamn sense.

Again, I'm not a read the instructions person. I'm a look at the pictures person. I imagine many, many visual creatives are. A little more grace extended toward these types would have massively improved this book. It brags about step-by-step instruction and being suitable for all experience levels. Experience levels, perhaps; learning styles? Not remotely

Anyway, if I'm such a great teacher, why don't I publish my own bead-working book? This book was published in 2006 which was technologically a long, long time ago. I could easily produce a beading book full of painfully complete, step-by-step photographic instruction.

With this all said and out of my head, I'd like to focus on the project I have moved my attention to for the little time I have left till I have to go back to work.

If someone came up to me tomorrow and offered me a job working from home with four ten-hour shifts a week, I would jump ship so fast.

[prysmartin]

No Home for a Hero - Chapter 3

Man I'm really bad at posting to this, but no I haven't completely abandoned this blog; writing hard even if everyone says I'm good at it mannnn Anyways, I've got another nine-page chapter to share with you all. 3,408 words approximately. It's kinda funny that after a three-month hiatus I just. Did that in like three days. It wasn't three months for this blog, but it was three months between my YouTube readings, which are a little more accurate to when I wrote it. Speaking of YouTube, of course, here's the video for this chapter:

Annibelle shot up, woken by a sudden metallic clanging. It was as though the town’s Blacksmiths were right outside her bedroom window. She quickly glanced around the tent, trying to find the source of the noise. There wasn’t much natural light - it must have only barely been morning by now - but she could make out her surroundings inside the tent.

Not that those surroundings were reassuring - she couldn’t see a thing. Where had Phillip gone? What about his sleeping bag? His backpack? Why was the room so barren? Where even was her own bag? She spun around again, frantically grabbing at where she had left it close to the edge of the tent. Annibelle let out a sigh of relief when her hand hit the bag, the rough imprints of her tools pressed into its side.

She cautiously got up, making more noise than she wanted as she slipped out of her sleeping bag. On any normal day the slight rustle would’ve been forgotten and done with in an instant, but today, Annibelle was terrified of drawing the attention of whatever await her outside. It was a somewhat familiar noise in a horribly unfamiliar place.

To make matters worse, she could hear the crackle of the leaves as the beast skulked around. It was all she could hear aside from the wind and her own breath as she moderated every bit of air passing through her lips.

She peeked through the front flap of the tent and glanced around, expecting to see signs of a giant or some monster, or maybe even come face to face with the behemoth. Instead, she was greeted by a much warmer view, as a crackling campfire’s heat before her could be felt in just its vibrant shades of red-orange. The flames leaped upwards, reaching for a small piece of meat hoisted above the fire with a skewer. Phillip sat on a log, gnawing on something.

At least the campfire had given a source to the crackling noise. Considering Phillip’s relaxed state, the metal clanging had probably been from something he’d done. Annibelle relaxed, letting out a small sigh of relief, and stepped out of the tent.

“Oh look,” Phillip said between bites, “The child’s awake.” He glanced at her while continuing to scarf down his meal. Annibelle just sort of stood there in silence, taking in the scene. She was a bit exhausted after having such rough sleep that night.

Anni slowly stepped outside the tent, a waft of cool morning air greeting her with the smell of fresh dew, and a rugged, smokey hint of the campfire. A dim wave of sunlight leapt over the canopy’s edge, casting a glow on the campsite’s clearing. It felt… familiar. Welcoming. One of the few things Annibelle could even try to say she recognized in this weird new world.

She stepped forth, and Phillip broke the silence. “Not very talkative today, are we?” He chuckled to himself. “Well, that’s an improvement over yesterday’s stuttering, that’s for sure,” he jeered. Anni felt her hair stand up in shame. He was right. That’s not how a hero would act.

She sat herself on the log across from him. Phillip gestured towards the campfire, vaguely waving his hand in its general direction. “Breakfast,” he stated bluntly, and resumed gnawing on his own meal.

“Is it ready yet?” Annibelle Asked.

“Hmgh?” Phillip stopped eating for a second. “Uh, probably?”

She sat there for a moment, waiting for him to check the meal. He sat there, chewing on the last of his. It was an awkward minute for Annibelle as she slowly came to terms with the fact that she wasn’t getting any better of an answer unless she asked again.

“Um- Are you- Sure?” It was a shoddy question that didn’t actually get anywhere, but Annibelle was too afraid to try anything more. All she knew was this man’s name, and what little of his personality he’d shown her before was anything but promising.

“Look, kid,” he said with a mouthful before swallowing his bite. “You can play Chef all you want,” he said, glaring her down, his arm resting on his leg as he leaned forwards with a hint of frustration. The memo was clear as Anni’s heart dropped like a rock from anxiety.

She cautiously made her way towards the campfire as Phillip went back to the last of his meal. Though he wasn’t paying her any mind, she still felt as though her every move were being judged, like an actor who forgot their lines in the middle of a show.

After grabbing the Skewer, Annibelle made her way back to the stump she seated herself on. She’d had meals cooked over campfires before, but the skewer was weird. Those were usually used by festival vendors, not camping cookware, and they usually consisted of tiny pieces of exotic fruits, not one large hunk of meat.

Oh well. However strange this all was, it was still breakfast, and her morning hunger was starting to kick in. Maybe getting a little energy in her system would make her feel better.

She bit into the meat. It was… uncomfortably stringy. Like a dying worm was being puppeteered down her throat. It was undercooked. It was uncomfortable. Some water might have helped to chase it down, though she didn’t know where any was and was too afraid to ask just yet. Annibelle swallowed the bite, knowing it would be the only one she could muster.

So much for Breakfast today.

“Slow eater, eh?” Phillip noted. Anni had been trying to chew her way through her morning meal - if you could even call it that - but she had only gotten halfway through her food. She was getting used to the texture, but that didn’t make it magically easier to stomach. It was all the food Anni was going to get for now, though, so she pushed on. 

She didn’t speak, as doing so while chewing was rude, but even if she didn’t have anything in her mouth, Annibelle wasn’t sure she would have responded. Not that it seemed Phillip wanted a response, anyways, as he reached into his backpack and started rummaging for something. His arms and head dove in deep, deeper than should have been possible, before suddenly popping back out to stare Annibelle down.

“Oh yeah, before you ask, Horokai’s just out to find you a Void Pack.” He patted his backpack. “Means more storage, and less need to swindle merchants or steal from a world on the brink.”

Annibelle had never heard of a “void pack”, but it became clear to her as Phillip dived back into his bag what he really meant.  She’d heard of these portable alternate realities, and even used some in her classes - They were perfect for containing cursed or volatile items - but they were rare, often flaunted by the rich as a show of their status, and hardly used with their actual purpose. Anni, however, knew them by a different name -

“A Hemlay?” she asked.

Phillip groaned, his voice echoing from within the bag. “Oh great, Rathead’s already told you the weird way of saying it.”

“I’ve… Only ever heard them called hemlays…” Annibelle replied.

“Well, you’re weird,” he said, pulling out a book and quill from his bag. “Not that that’s news, considering the rest of your town.”

“Wh-When will Horokai be back?” Anni tried to brush the insult away.

Phillip flipped open the book. “Uhhh, I dunno. Two days if we’re lucky, next month if we’re not.”

“Um-” Annibelle was confused. Hemlays weren’t that rare, were they? Maybe the bigger ones were, since those were the real ways to flaunt implied wealth, but a small bag was common enough that almost every town had at least one for sale. “Would it really take that long to find a small hemlay?”

“Void bag,” Phillip muttered, tapping the page of the book with his quill, now inked. “Sure, a bag’s easy to come by, but Horokai wanted a pack.” He started scrawling on the page. “Yknow, like a uh, backpack or whatever. One of those. And that wasn’t enough.” He paused, turning the page. “She insisted on finding someone who could make you a custom fit.

His eyes, still focused on his writing, narrowed. “I, for one, suggested we not waste our time with that,” Phillip rolled his eyes, “but I guess she knows what the hell we’re doing, and she’s got the final say in this stupid thing.” He closed the book and tossed it back in his hemlay. “Whatever. Not MY void pack, and not my guy to hunt.”

The last statement struck Annibelle as odd. “Guy to hunt?” She took another bite of her breakfast, hoping for this one to be different, only to be met with disappointment.

“Eh, doesn’t really matter.” He stood up. “Considering this world-ending craze, I’d be surprised if the guy’s even alive at this point.”

“I- but why… Hunt him?”

Phillip sighed, slinging his backpack over his arm. “Look, kid. She knows, I don’t. You don’t. Doesn’t matter.” He started walking towards the tent. “We got camp to clean up and places to be.” He looked back at her over his shoulder, piercing into her soul with his stare. “So don’t waste my time.”

Annibelle shut up.

Beyond the campsite, the day was uneventful. Phillip led the way as they traversed the woods, trudging down the winding gravel paths, hoping to stumble across something more substantial than a lone signpost. With every step, Annibelle’s hopes of finding a town drained as the paths waltzed on through the forest, as though someone set them up specifically to spite her.

It didn’t help that breakfast was so unsubstantial, and she wasn’t used to so much walking. Her legs ached as much as her stomach, though at least she got much needed rests as Phillip occasionally stopped to take note of another thing in his book, even if only for a minute or two.

Unfortunately, the pauses didn’t do anything to help her growing appetite, nor her fear of the startling noises coming from the forest. Every falling rock, every rustled leaf, every gust of wind put Annibelle on-edge. Phillip didn’t seem to pay any mind, and considering his experience, there probably wasn’t anything to be afraid of. She tried her best to set aside her fears.

Annibelle had learned something that day. The words “uneventful” and “good” are not mutual.

As the sunset began to light the sky with its dreamy mango-like tones, Phillip ordered her to set up camp for the night, and disappeared into the woods. While it was some respite from his worryingly strict silence, and it would’ve been a great opportunity to rest, Annibelle didn’t dare to fail the job by giving in to her exhaustion. At least she knew how to do everything, having taken a survival 25s class before.

Phillip returned long before she had finished setting up camp. Good thing the 25s taught her to light the fire first, as he pulled a deer out of his Hemlay and strung it up over the fire without a single comment or complaint. In fact, he helped her finish setting up the tent, though it wasn’t clear if he was staving off boredom while the deer cooked or was frustrated with the fact she hadn’t finished already. 

The deer was fine. Could have been better if she took the time to prepare it, but Annibelle was too exhausted to push past Phillip, and even if she could, she probably wouldn’t have cooked it much better in her tired state. At least it was a filling meal, and this time, Phillip had got some water for her. It wasn’t much water, but hey, it was something.

Once dinner was done, Annibelle headed straight for bed. Her sleeping bag was uncomfortable, but it didn’t matter. She was ready for some much-needed sleep after such a long, grueling day of nothing but walking. Her aching body was grateful, but her mind wasn’t so pleasant tonight. As she fell asleep, yesterday’s nightmares returned in full force with a punch-to-the-gut kind of question her subconscious would dwell on through her dreams.

“Is mom okay?”

Annibelle knew the answer. She didn’t want to.

Annibelle shot up, woken by a sudden crashing noise. She had just been dreaming of her mother cooking breakfast, and, well, that’s sure what the crashing sounded like - a certain someone screwing up the pots and pans. She glanced around, trying to find the source of the noise. There wasn’t much natural light - it must have only barely been morning by now, if you could even call it that - but she didn’t have the time to really make out her surroundings.

Phillip’s hand clasped over her mouth. This startled her, at first for why he would do such a thing, but then for the look on his face. He wasn’t paying attention to her. He wasn’t even looking at her. He pointed vaguely towards the tent flap, but Annibelle couldn’t spot what he was so concerned by. There was nothing but the campfire’s ash pit out there.

And then she saw it. A paw. It was hard to see in the darkness, but she slowly adjusted and could barely make out the silhouette of a bear as it lumbered around the campsite, clawing the ground for… something.

Phillip silently unsheathed his sword, getting ready to strike the bear, but before he could fully get up and ready, the noises stopped, and the shadow disappeared. He still got up, and with a silent swipe, struck out into the dim campsite. It was a tense few seconds, doused in silence and shadow.

It was soon broken by Phillip’s voice as he re-entered the tent. “It’s gone, kid.” Anni let out a sigh of relief as he reached for a small storm lantern. He held it up, flameless, and looked at Annibelle expectantly. “You know magic, right?”

“Um… Yeah?” she responded.

“You light it, then.”

She didn’t know all there was to magic, but even if her survival 25s training hadn’t taught her the basics on starting a fire, she was a sparkmage. All she needed to do was focus a little bit of her electrical powers to create some concentrated heat, and bam; within around fifteen seconds, the lamp lit up the whole room with a flickering, vibrant orange.

Phillip headed outside without a word, taking the lamp with him. His silhouette painted the tent flap in a crisp, clear outline. Annibelle got out of her sleeping bag, rubbed her eyes, grabbed her belongings and headed outside after Phillip.

The campsite was a wreck, with everything thrown around like an accountant had lost their papers right as the tax collector knocked on their door. The firepit was spread out, the logs they had used as benches were overturned, and the Hemlay was wide open, with clothes, papers, and tools scattered around it. Phillip slowly approached, leaned down, and peered in.

After a few seconds, he let out a sigh. “You know, I had a second deer lined up for today’s meals,” he said, gritting his teeth in frustration, “But it looks like that thing’s changed plans for breakfast today.” He stood up and started walking for the tent again. “I hope you know how to hunt, kid.”

“I can trap rabbits, sir.” It was a skill she barely remembered by now - and wasn’t sure if she knew the right order of every step - but it was what she did know, and was worth a shot nonetheless.

Phillip glared at her as he marched past her to get to the tent. “We’ve got two mouths to feed, kid. Rabbit ain’t gonna cut it.”

Anni had no further ideas. “Um… What do we do, then?”

Phillip stopped in the tent flap. “Well, there’s a bear with our breakfast out there. Why don’t we go… Persuade him to give it back?”

She should’ve protested. She really should’ve. But the time had come and gone, and they were far too deep into the trail to give up now. It had been, what, fifteen minutes since they started? Phillip was doing a good job of tracking down the bear; at least, based on what little Annibelle remembered on tracking animals, and what little she could see in the rising dawn.

But a bear? Really? Sure, it had stolen their food, but why not go after something… safer? Simpler? Another deer, perhaps? Hell, even trapping rabbits would have been easier, even if they needed to trap twenty for the day and even if she didn’t remember how to do it.

It was a long shot, but maybe he would still listen?

“You know, I think-”

Before she could finish her sentence, Phillip shushed her, peering through the bushes. “There it is,” he whispered, gesturing for Annibelle to approach and look for herself. Lo and behold, there it was, chewing away on the deer’s lifeless body.

“I’ll deal with him,” Phillip said, standing up. “You cause a distraction if things go south.”

“I could-” Annibelle started instinctively saying something, but stopped herself. She didn’t need to complicate the situation any further. Phillip had it under control.

But he took notice, crouching back down. “Could what, kid?”

“I-” there was no backing down now. “I could kill it, sir,” she said softly, trying not to alert the bear.

Phillip’s face said it all: unamused doubt. “Considering your last tussle with one of these, kid… You know what? I’d love to see your best go at it.” He sat back down, expectantly looking at her.

Annibelle wasn’t ready for this. She shouldn’t have said anything. It would have been done in a moment had she just let Phillip do his thing. It wasn’t raining, making her plan much harder, but there was at least a cloud in the sky so she wouldn’t completely exhaust herself. It definitely wouldn’t be a pleasant experience either way, but with Phillip breathing down her neck she had to do it.

The bear was hardly moving. The cloud was in position. It was time to act. Closing her eyes as to not blind herself, Anni cast herself into the earth and into the sky. She couldn’t see it, but she could sure hear it. The roaring thunder rolled over her like a dust storm on an open field, echoing off the distant hills as she channeled lightning through bear and into the heavens.

Or, well, the sounds echoed through her, as Annibelle’s body ached from top to bottom and a painful ringing took over her ears. Maybe that was from the lightning. Maybe the thunder. Maybe from overexerting herself. She had remembered to close her eyes, but her failure to cover her ears and stand back from the blast hurt far more than she first planned.

Her head was violently spinning as she opened her eyes. There was some good news; the bear was lying on its side. It was hard to tell if it was truly dead or not, as the movements could be some last pulses through its muscles, a hallucination, or a big problem, but Phillip’s sword being stuck through its head made its fate pretty clear. He stood there, one hand on his hilt, the other on his head as though to keep a migraine at bay.

Annibelle lay down, looking at the canopy, waiting for it to stop shifting about so much. “Water,” she said instinctively, not hearing her own voice. Lightning requires something to help it connect with the ground, and the best way is raindrops. On a bad day, though, the human body happens to have more than enough water to conduct such strong electricity, but any caster needs to stay well hydrated after exhausting themselves from a lightning strike, whether successful or not.

Phillip obliged, handing her his water bottle. She was able to mutter a quick “thank you” before chugging down as much as she could. Her lack of breakfast and any drink that would come with it compounded her thirst. Once the ringing subsided, the world finished spinning, and her thirst was quenched, Phillip addressed her.

“I got two things to tell ya, kid.” He pulled his sword out of the bear and turned towards her. “One, that was pretty damn impressive.” He kneeled down, getting face to face with Annibelle. “Two, don’t you dare do that again so close.”

[writteninkat]

Heyy🦙 I'm writing fanfiction for Hinata (form Haikyuu) and I'm gonna post it once I'm done but that's besides the point..

actually request: Any of the MHA/BNHA boys catch you writing/reading/drawing fanfiction/fan art

the characters are your pick

um- I never tell you this but dont stress yourself either🥰😚

BNHA GUYS CATCHING YOU WITH FANFICTION/FANART

w/ Bakugou, Iida, Kirishima, Denki, Shoto

warnings: suggestive themes

a/n: i'm having trouble falling asleep these days and it's taking a toll on my daily activities but i'm sure i'll manage, thank you :")

navigation

KATSUKI BAKUGOU

catches you reading fanfiction

blond bb knows you love to read, as a matter of fact, he's aware you read more than you spend time with him. and he's alright with that cause he'd rather chill with you in silence than listen to you talk his ear out lol

just because he doesn't mind you with your hobby doesn't mean he isn't curious about it

what kind of books are you reading that have your eyes glued to your screen the whole day every day?

he never does this and really doesn't want to do it but curiosity killed the cat. as you bake cookies with Mina downstairs, you left your phone in your room to charge

Katsuki takes this as his chance to snoop. He won't go to any other app, he'll head straight to your reading apps and sites.

Jujutsu Kaisen x Reader?

Haikyuu x Reader?

Naruto x Reader?

and what the fuck is 'lemon' and 'smut'?

he puts your phone back, discreetly leaving your room to do some research in his room

ah, so you've been reading 2k-10k worth of words of fanfiction about Jujustu Kaisen, Haikyuu and Naruto characters pleasing you...

he shall now delete his search history and pretend he never found out about this part of you

TENYA IIDA

catches you drawing fanart

everyone in 1A knows you draw and that you're amazing at it

Class press never forgets/fails to compliment your drawings, even if you the pieces are half down

but that's the thing. you always let him see and sometimes you even let him watch as you draw, so why are you hiding this particular piece from him?

he guesses it's a surprise for him- but hold on, he doesn't have tattoos or pink hair. so who is it?

while you're in the bathroom, he sneakily takes a peak at your work and thinks he should regret it but honestly, the art is so good he can't even find it anything remotely negative

it's a fanart of who he remembers is Sukuna, the kind of curses from the TV show Jujutsu Kaisen. he's on a throne with a mountain of skulls underneath it, a corner of his lips tugged up into a smile as a woman's head rests in between his thighs

he probably should regret ever taking a peek but the details, holy shit. the shading, the hand- everything just sends shivers down his spine

EIJIRO KIRISHIMA

catches you writing fan fiction

red boi always loves listening to you type as you study or do your homework, he uses it as a sleeping aid. as you work diligently on your desk, he lays on your bed, slowly drifting to sleep land

today, however, your typing sounds different. it's much faster, more rushed and he can't help his curiosity from growing at how you're biting on your lip, smiling as you typed

from what he knows, you absolutely hate typing essays so why do you look so excited right now?

he lets it slide, sleeping to the sound of your rushed typing.

the next day, you ask Eijiro to bring your laptop with him cause you're about to watch a movie with the whole class and the files are in your comouter

it's not even his fault, your laptop was left open and on and when he moved to turn it off, he catches a glimpse of "Tsukishima runs a hand down your thigh, his hot breath rising goosebumps all over your body." and suddenly he's reading the whole chapter

you barge in your room, yelling and asking what took him so long only to catch him glued to your computer screen, mouth left ajar.

you quickly snatch the PC from him, earning a whine. "Give it back! I need to know if Tsukki likes me back!" He pouts.

"This isn't for you to read, Eij! Leave it alone!"

"Oh sure, so your ten thousand followers in tumblr can read it but I, your boyfriend, can't. Okay, yeah. I see just how Eijirophobic you are."

he's pouting the whole day until you finally give in and let him read your drafts. allowing him to correct your grammar and spelling errors along the way

SHOTO TODOROKI

catches you reading fan fiction

this man is utterly confused why you're suddenly reading so much and how your vocabulary is slowly expanding but he's happy for you

as the both of you are in his room, silent as the both of you read your own books, Shoto can't help but get curious

so as you fall asleep with your phone still turned on, he takes his chance to get a peek

he also wants to read the books you're reading, he wants to learn more and improve himself. if your english grades had risen up from reading what you read, surely he'll also learn from how "Toji places your leg on his shoulder as he continues to pound in"-

as a matter of fact maybe he is okay with what he knows now. sometimes ignorance is bliss after all

DENKI KAMINARI

catches you watching fanart

you've forgotten about the wall of mirrors behind you and you're scrolling down your current favorite artist's twitter page, flood liking their posts

mind you their fanarts are 18+ so you thought it'd be best to face your boyfriend so he won't be able to see what you're looking at.

no, yeah you're a complete idiot.

Denki presses his lips together, trying to contain his laughter as he videotapes your reflection. you're zooming into the intricate details of a Gojo fanart with his blue polo shirt completely unbuttoned and sweat glistens over his sculpted abs

"Babe what are you doing?" Denki asks, now zooming into your face after showing to the camera what you're zooming in to

"There's a mirror behind me, is there?" You ask, now feeling like a complete idiot as your boyfriend laughs, absolutely no sound coming out of his mouth as his mouth stretches widely

You face your phone screen at him, showing the fanart. "I'd cheat on you with Gojo."

Denki continues laughing, now out of breath. "And of course I'd be pissed cause why the hell did Gojo pick you and not me?"

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

the shrooms cafe

part 1- watermelon tea with strawberry boba

hello everyone 🥺 this is the first series i've ever done so i'm a little nervous but i'm so excited because I really like this story!!!

this is the first part, and I have literally no idea how long it will be because I don't have a solid plan/outline yet! so feel free to send little concepts or things you would like to see included 🥺 i can't guarantee they will be added but i'll definitely try my best :)

shrooms cafe masterlist

my masterlist

warnings: none

word count: 2k

"Stella, we have to leave in 10 minutes!" You called up the stairs. "Come down so you can eat breakfast!" "Yeah Stella, hurry up!" Seraphina yelled from her spot at the dining table. She was finishing up her fruit loops with a grin on her face. "You're going to make us late!" As the youngest, she often liked to bother her sisters. She was only five, just starting kindergarten, but she was already a master at getting under their skin.

"Sera, don't antagonize your sister, please," you reminded her. "She's not going to make us late." Sophie rolled her eyes. "Seraphina, you're so immature." Despite only being 11, Sophie was clearly the mother hen. You sometimes joked that the girls didn't even need you; Sophie would take on the role of their mother with no problem. "Besides, you were the one who made us late yesterday." "It's not my fault I couldn't find my purple socks. What was I supposed to do?" "Maybe wear different socks?" Sophie suggested smugly. "You know I need my purple socks, otherwise I can't write my words!" Sophie rolled her eyes again. "You don't need a certain color socks to write." "Yes I do!" You smiled to yourself, turning back to the fridge as the two bickered. You pulled out the ingredients you would need to make their lunches, then reached up on your tiptoes to get their lunch bags from the top of fridge. "Okay girls, what kind of sandwiches do you want today?" "Peanut butter and jelly!" Seraphina said excitedly. "Why did I even ask?" You smiled. "And Sophie?" "Turkey please, but I can make it myself," She said, sliding off her chair and bringing the breakfast dishes to the sink. "Thank you, love," you said, leaning over to kiss the top of her head. "You are such a big help in the mornings, I don't know what I would do without you." "You would have a real handful dealing with those two," She said matter-of-factly. "That I would," you laughed, handing her a butter knife. "Stella!" you called again. The 8 year old came running down the stairs, carrying her backpack and another bag. "Did you forget I have dance today?" "I did not forget," you reassured her. She liked to plan things, and got worried quickly if she wasn't kept in the loop. "I'll pick you up at the door by the playground, does that work?" "Actually, I was wondering if I could walk today? A bunch of my friends do, and I feel kind of weird having my mom drop me off." "That should be fine," You nodded. "But stay with the group, don't go off by yourself." "I won't," she groaned, rolling her eyes. "You're so overprotective." "Oh yes, I'm so sorry for trying to keep you safe," you laughed. "Now what do you want for lunch?" Once everything was ready, the four of you made your way out to the car. Stella climbed into the back, and Sophie helped Seraphina get buckled. Even though the three of them bickered a lot (as sisters often do) it wasn't hard to see how much they loved each other. "Everybody buckled?" You asked, looking behind you. When you heard a chorus of confirmation, you started your playlist and smiled when the opening notes of Adore You filtered through the speakers. It was easily one of your favorite songs, and the girls liked it just as much as you did. It wasn't a long drive to the cafe; it took about 15 minutes if traffic was good. The girls' school bus stopped about a block away, so they walked there together every morning. Then after school, they would come back to the shop and read books or finish homework until it was time to close up and go home. You parked in the lot behind the shop, helping the girls out of the car and making sure they had all their things. Seraphina held out her hand, and Stella grabbed it to help her jump over a puddle on the sidewalk. Sophie gasped excitedly. "I think that was the biggest jump you've ever done!" The girls promptly launched into a discussion about who could jump farther as you unlocked the door. As soon as it was open, they made their way over to the mushrooms to find some books for the day. Their voices filled the shop as they chatted about school and the cute boy Stella liked and the kitten they had seen outside their house the other day. You went about your morning duties, flipping on the lights and starting up the coffee machine. You also turned on the oven, preparing to bake the muffins. (They were frozen- who has the time to bake them fresh? Certainly not a mother of 3.) Once the kitchen was ready, you went over to the radio and tuned it to a familiar station, the soft

music adding some pleasant background noise. "Okay girls, it's time to get to the bus stop," you said, leaning over the counter to speak to them. "Don't forget, I'm walking to dance," Stella said, pointing at you as she walked to the door. "I won't forget," you said, pointing back at her. "Have a good day!" "Bye mom," Seraphina waved her small hand at you. "Bye honey, bye Sophia," You smiled, blowing a kiss to the three of them. "See you later!" Once the three of them were gone, you went around to the shelves and straightened up, getting ready for your first customers.

-----

After the lunch rush had dwindled down and the shop was nearly empty again, you were getting ready to go on your lunch break. You had just leaned down to grab a sandwich from the deli case when the bell above the door jingled, alerting you that a new customer had come in. You straightened up, your eyes going wide when you realized who it was, but you quickly fixed your face and smiled. "Welcome to the Shrooms Cafe!" "Hello," the man smiled back, speaking in a deep British accent. "I saw your sign for boba tea, and I've been looking everywhere to find some. You're the third shop I've been to today, so I'm really hoping you're not sold out like everywhere else," he grinned, coming closer to the counter. "No, we're not out! What kind did you want?" You asked. "Um... probably should have thought about that before I came in," he laughed nervously, looking at the menu above your head. "Oh, don't worry about it, we're not busy right now," you said reassuringly. “Take all the time you need.” He smiled gratefully, stepping off to the side while he read the menu. Meanwhile, you fidgeted with towels and wiped off the work surfaces and tried to pretend you weren’t staring at him. Who could blame you, really? Harry Styles had just walked into your coffee shop. Who wouldn’t stare? “I think…” he spoke again, breaking you out of your trance. “I’ll do the watermelon tea, with strawberry boba, please.” You nodded, laughing lightly. He quirked one eyebrow, smiling along with you. “What’s funny?” “Oh, no, it’s just… of course you would order the one with watermelon.” “Oh,” he smiled, and you thought you detected a hint of a blush on his cheeks. “I guess I do have a bit of a reputation with fruit, don’t I?” “Just a little,” you grinned. “One watermelon tea with strawberry boba, coming right up.” After ringing up the order, you quickly got to work. Instead of his real name, you wrote “watermelon man” on the sticker on the cup. Hopefully he would appreciate your little joke. “Here you are,” you smiled. “I hope it’s good, seeing as you worked so hard to find some.” “I’m sure it’ll be amazing,” he laughed, grabbing a straw from beside the cash register. You also noticed he had dropped a generous tip into the jar, probably while you had been busy making the drink. “Have a nice day,” you smiled. “You as well,” he said with a small wave before he made his way out the door, sipping his drink as he went. You sighed, shaking your head with a small grin as you grabbed the sandwich from earlier and went to a table for your lunch break.

-----

“Hi mom!” Sophie yelled, holding open the door for Seraphina. “Hi girls!” You called from the back corner of the shop. “I’m by the mushrooms!” The girls quickly found you, Seraphia hugging you and Sophie situating herself on one of the short stools. “How was your day?” You asked. “Good! I gave my report on monarch butterflies and guess what Mrs. Wilson said?” Sophie asked, leaning forward. “What did she say?” “She said it was the best report she had heard all day. She waited until the other kids left so they wouldn’t feel bad, but still,” she said proudly. “Oh wow! I’m so proud of you,” you said, moving over to hug her. “What did I tell you? You can do anything you put your mind to,” you smiled. “Including writing the best report in the whole class, hmm?” She nodded happily before turning away from you to pull a book off the shelf closest to her. “Which one are you starting now?” You asked, leaning over her shoulder to see the book she had. “Anne of Green Gables,” she said. “Oh, I loved those books when I was your age,” you smiled. “I think you’ll really like them.”

She nodded, already immersed in the book. You turned back to Seraphina, who was pulling her folder out of her backpack. “And how was your day, miss Seraphina?” “It was so good, look!” She handed you a paper with two gold stars at the top. “My teacher gave me two gold stars. She said my writing was very good!"

"All that practicing we did must have worked, then!" you said, beaming as you looked at her letters. They were still wobbly, but a huge improvement over how they had been at the beginning of the school year.

She nodded. "And then I colored this picture for you!” She handed you another page. This one had a drawing of you holding hands with her, Sophie, and Stella. The three of you had big smiles and lots of adorable little details. Stella had her hair in a bun and was wearing ballet shoes. Sophie was holding a book in her free hand. Seraphina had drawn herself wearing a shirt with a cat (her favorite animal) on it, and she was wearing her purple socks. Lastly, there was you, holding a cup of coffee and wearing a shirt with a big red heart on it. “Since you like coffee so much,” she explained. “It's beautiful,” you smiled, hugging her. “We’ll hang it on the fridge when we get home, okay?” “Okay,” she agreed. “Why don’t you find a book and read with Sophie for a little bit? We have just over an hour, then we have to go get Stella from dance.” She nodded, handing you the papers and her backpack before running over to the shelves. She grabbed a picture book, settling into the red cushion in the tree and beginning to flip through the pages.

----- “Alright girls, it’s time to pick up Stella,” you said as you wiped off the counter one last time. You had already turned off all the machines and packed up everything else for the day. You flipped the lights off on the way out, smiling a bit when you saw the hand painted sign for boba tea in the window. Harry came into your mind again, with his easy smile, his kind words, and his blushing laugh. You really hoped you would see him again, even though you knew you probably wouldn't. Your shop wasn't very big or well known. How likely was it for him to come to the same little shop in the middle of London again? Still, it didn’t hurt to hope. Maybe he would decide to try the other flavors and stop in again. Your smile spread even further when you started your playlist and Lights Up was the first song to come on. Apparently, it was going to be hard to forget about him.

[matthew5016512]

Week 1 - Constructing Shapes by Hand

This exercise really impressed upon me the importance of construction lines in hand drawing - loathe though I am to use them.

I'm used to using construction lines a lot in AutoCAD and Rhino - it makes it easier to align and reproduce shapes, and provided you use layers properly they can be hidden or turned off with a single click.

When it comes to hand-drawing though I have mostly avoided or tried to minimise them as I hate having to rub them out. I recognised through doing these drawings that it would have made it far harder for myself to have attempted to draw them without construction lines, and luckily there was no requirement to erase them (provided they are done lightly) and the fine-liner pens cover the lead marks well.

I completed the constructions in class, but left going over it in pen to do at home so I didn't have to rush. Having the reference material to work off and annotate really helped as well and saved me from making terrible mistakes.

I practiced with a spare page, the compass and some pens to ensure I got a feel for drawing with the pens on the bond paper and to figure out how far I had to offset the ruler from a line in order to hit it dead-centre with the pen. I also practiced using the compass to try and achieve even and consistent line weights and avoid blotches (in this I was mostly successful, but there is definitely some room for improvement still.

Getting the curves to connect tangentially proved to be a right pain, but having the circle-tool was really helpful, even though it kind of felt like cheating - to not have to work out the tangent points with a compass as I was taught to do in engineering studies - but it saves a great deal of time, and would have been incredibly impractical given the size of the radii I was working with.

The Final Product:

Learnings: Consistency of pen pressure and speed is incredibly important to avoid inconsistent thickness or waver in the lines - you need to draw deliberately and not allow the pen to dwell on the page.

It is best to lift the pen while still moving to avoid thicker ends to lines - you can always go back over carefully with a finer pen to adjust the line thickness.

Using a finer pen allows for multiple passes to more cleanly join lines together.

TASK 2.

Using the squares and a ruler it is easy to make a grid of diamonds or equilateral triangles from which the shapes prescribed for task 2 can be cut. It took a bit of experimentation to dial in where to cut but I managed to get 1 complete shape from my first attempt - the rest was scrapped as I cut too far.

Having the first shape meant I could use it to more effectively plan and produce 3 from the second A4 sheet.

By cutting down the middle of the lines it was easier to produce shapes which fit together well with reasonable tight tolerances (shown pulled slightly apart in the photos to make it easier to see where one shape ends and the next begins. Finished product:

[hajimeiwaswife]

THE WAY I LOVED YOU

Word count: 4,2K

Wanings: angst (but fluff, too)

Summary: You weren't over the love Childe provided you, even when you were engaged to Albedo years later.

A blue, pink and mauve sky garnished the surroundings of the Stormbearer Mountains. The summery breeze, warm as the light of the bright sun, comforted those who walked along the path of fallen leaves, wild flowers and the smell of mint. A beautiful landscape presented itself for sore eyes to see.

A certain Alchemist was working on his new masterpiece, relaxing under the few rays of light that came with dusk, painting the one he considered the most beautiful person to ever put a foot on Teyvat. Mixing the colours of nature, he portraited on the sketch book the view he had of his fiancée and the scenery, all of it worthy of a cheesy romance novel and a fantasy book.

"How much time do you need?" Y/N asked in a tired tone, trying not to shift her position, "I'm getting crumps on my face from smiling."

The man didn't answer at the moment, considering for a brief time her question and filling a space on the page that still needed his attention. At last, he looked at her and smiled at the image he had the honour of witnessing. The girl, dressed in a summer white and blue dress, was slightly pouting at the lack of talking from his part. Her hair danced with the wind and he thanked Barbatos for letting him see her golden locks fly around her face.

"Just a little more, my love," he answered, his attention shifting back to the drawing in front of him.

"You said that an hour ago," the girl sighed, putting a smile again on her face so she didn't disrupt her lover from painting her, "I thought you wanted to go see Sucrose before the sun came down. Oh! And also, you promised Klee you'd visit her."

He hummed, immersed in the way her features took a hardened expression when she tried to remember something that needed to be done. Brows furrowed and fore finger on her right cheek, she looked at him in search of a comment from the Alchemist.

"Albedo! Are you listening to me?"

"You're so beautiful." mumbled the man, lost in her and the blush that was forming on her visage.

Shameless and, at the same time, honest and shy. That was Albedo, the one she was engaged to. Such an honourable and good man, someone who loved her as much as the Sea loved its waves, as much as the birds loved the Wind, as much as a Dwelling loved the warmth of the fire. He gave her his everything and from the bottom of his own person, and she was grateful for it.

"I'm sorry" he promptly said, coughing on his palm to hide the evident embarrassment he felt, "It wasn't my intention to make you uncomfortable."

At that, she couldn't help but laugh. He was such a beautiful person, always searching her comfort and well-being before anyone else's, always taking care of her and looking for her. A pure soul, she would venture to affirm.

"Don't be silly, sweetheart," Y/N chuckled, positioning once again for him to portray her, "you know I love it when you compliment me. Now, c'mon, finish before the sun falls."

"As you wish."

One more hour of dirtying their hands in paint and observing the marvellous dusk that came upon them, they left to visit Sucrose, who was willing to tell Albedo about her advances in the research they both were working on.

"That's impressive, Sucrose," Albedo praised the girl, reading the documents and correcting those things he found could be improved.

Y/N turned off the conversation, not really interested in the depths of the Alchemy. She respected what the husband to be and her friend did for a life and she couldn't be prouder, but that didn't mean she wanted to hear the endless conversations about properties a flower could have.

After saying goodbye to the little Alchemist, they both headed to say hello to little Klee, who was mad at them for coming so late, it was already her time for bed and, as she said, 'We can't go bomb fishing!', followed by a 'Do you not love Klee?' Reassuring the little bomb crazy kid was more draining than she could imagine, but she did it for Albedo, nonetheless.

The afternoon turned into the late hours of the night, lilac sky was now dark and adorned with stars. The Alchemist had intertwined his fingers with Y/N's, sighing in content, allowing himself to relax at the warmth of her hand and the serenity reigning in Mondstadt.

"Maybe we should head home, you seem exhausted," commented Albedo after watching his fiancée yawn for the third time in ten minutes.

"That would be great, actually." Y/N yawned again, gaining a quiet chuckle from the man next to her.

No one talked again, everything already said until the moment to bid goodnight when they laid in bed. Albedo, being the reserved man he was, kept himself in his side of the bed, not too confident to spoon his girl still.

The silence was only accompanied by Albedo's soft snores. Darkness decorated the walls of the room in the AM. The sense of being trapped growing inside Y/N as she thought of the implications of her new life. She was engaged to an incredible man, who told her how beautiful she was and how much he loved her every single day; who went with her on strolls and made her laugh; who could teach her more than she could ever imagine; who appreciated her as she was.

Still, she felt nothing. At all.

She liked Albedo, that was clear. Who wouldn't like Albedo? He was the perfect man. On more than one occasion, Y/N had Amber and Barbara drooling about how lucky she was to be with someone like him. She knew she was the luckiest girl in Teyvat, most women simped over Diluc or Albedo. But, at the same time, she only felt guilt for being with him without actually loving him.

Anxiety growing on her, she decided to stand up. She walked out of the room, being careful not to disrupt Albedo's sleep, and headed to the transport point, she needed to be away from any form of human activity, she felt like shouting and hitting the first thing she could see. Breathing becoming a very tedious task as she approached the device, opting to go to Mt. Aocang. If she was going to wake someone up, she preferred an Adeptus who wouldn't ask more than any nosy human.

The wind, colder than that afternoon, calmed her to the point her lungs could take the oxygen she had been trying to get for minutes. The orange leaves obscured by the night reminded her of the hair she used to love so much. The hair of that man she had once despised, then loved, and then lost.

He, who claimed to be brave enough to enter her heart, had been the one to take it and keep it even until those days. Y/N noticed how her breathing became irregular again, she was used to it, every time she thought about the Harbinger. That repulsive, irresponsible, dishonest, cunning, intelligent and breath-taking man she couldn't forget. How had she let it come so far?

Albedo gave her everything, yet her heart yearned Childe's love. How pathetic.

"Fuck you, Childe!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, not caring for the Adepti, not caring for those who could hear her cursing the Harbinger Tartaglia at 2 a.m. a Thursday night. "You ruined me, you motherfucker!"

So many fights, so many make outs, so much love making, so many nights under the stars trying to comprehend their feelings for the other. All of that for nothing. Like the bitter cold of Snezhnaya they froze, their hearts on their sleeves, light that came from the satellite above turned off.

"You know, sometimes I feel like you don't like me that much." she remembered him saying, his characteristic smirk on his face, "It's true we had our... abrasions, but girlie, c'mon, don't be so stiff."

She could clearly see in her mind how his hands came to her waist, grabbing her in a gentle but at the same time rough grip. A shivered down her spine, in the present and in the pass, and she was sure she would feel it in the future, too.

"How am I supposed to trust you, Harbinger?" she had said, crossing her arms after pulling away from him.

"Easy, trusting me."

And she did. She felt like a fool for allowing him to be so near, to had felt love from him, for loving him.

"Are you feeling okay? You look pale, my love," Albedo commented, a hand of his on the forehead of his lover, a worried expression on his face.

"Yes, Albedo, don't worry, I didn't sleep too well last night," Y/N reassured him, smiling slightly at her fiancé.

The Alchemist hummed, nodding to himself and returning to his work. The girl had returned to their room after a couple of hours in Mt. Aocang, praying for Albedo to not had noticed her absence. Apparently, he didn't. Had he noticed he would had already asked about it, or so she thought.

"I was thinking about visiting Liyue today, there are some materials there I need for my research," Albedo said after some minutes, looking at her, "I was wondering if you'd like to come."

Y/N's heart dropped. She had to say yes, how could she say no to Albedo? He wanted to spend time with her while still working, an effort she really appreciated. But, going to Liyue? What if he was there? Strolling those streets the two of them had travelled a thousand times.

But his gaze was still on her, waiting patiently for a reply. Doubtfully, she considered all her options: not going and upsetting Albedo; going and crossing him; going and being unable to continue due to the memories. No option was good, she had to choose between her fiancé's well-being and hers. 'He's made so any sacrifices for me'.

"I would love to, love."

Merchants selling, people buying, contracts being signed. That was Liyue in all its glory. Red, green and blue being the most recurrent colour themes on the walls, roofs and gardens, a gift to anyone who wanted to visit a paradise.

Albedo was buying some materials while Y/N stood next to him, not looking at anyone's face in case Childe decided to make one of his classic appearances. She grabbed Albedo's sleeve as a way to comfort herself, reassuring one time and one time again that she didn't have that much of bad luck to cross him in such a huge city.

She turned her head to look around at last, brave to see the stores and Liyue's people. Many of them knew who she was, having helped most of them at least in one occasion, great people with beautiful and peaceful lives. She had that now, at Albedo's side. But why did she feel like it wasn't what she wanted?

The red mask in one of the stalls froze her in her place, it looked identical to Childe's. She knew it wasn't his, of course, he was too involved in the Fatui and too wealthy to pledge his mask, but it made her remember him and one of the many memories she had with him in Liyue, again.

"Girlie, don't be like that" Childe exclaimed, smiling at her with bravado, "You don't have to feign you don't want that bracelet."

"I don't want it," repeated her for the third time, growing irritated.

"I have enough money to buy it for you, darling," the Harbinger insisted, taking her left hand in one of his and kissing her knuckles.

"How charming," she murmured ironically, rolling her eyes and pulling her hand out of his grasp.

"I know," he smirked, going after her, "and I also know how much you love when I act like a gentleman."

"How would you know that if you've never acted like one?" she snorted, watching his expression turn into an offended one.

"I'm a gentleman, you just can't appreciate my efforts to woo you," he replied with a pout.

"Aw, little Childe can't take a no for an answer," Y/N continued to tease him, smiling slightly at his spoiled brat's act.

"Very well, little lady, you're not having that bracelet," he stamped and turn away from her, walking without a real direction.

"Not that I wanted it!" she shouted at the distance.

Needless to say, she found the bracelet in her purse that night with a cheesy note that claimed 'To my favourite and stubborn traveller, with love, Childe'.

She still had it in her wrist, accompanying her wherever she went, reminding her of the stupid man that gifted it to her. Golden with Snezhnaya patterns, orange jewelry decorating the surface of the material. Albedo never said anything about it, never asked, and she was grateful for it, he knew to respect her space.

Her fiancé had just finished purchasing what he needed, looking at her with a loving gaze. She felt nothing, only appreciation, and she felt awful for not returning his feelings at their best, he deserved to be loved and spoiled. However, she missed him, she missed what they had.

The grey sky announced the storm that was coming, thunder and lightning appearing to give a performance of nature power. She had fought, walked, ran and danced in rain. She had danced, kissed and loved. But nothing of it with Albedo.

"Now a step to the left" instructed Childe, grabbing her waist with his left hand and her hand with his right one, "and now turn around... That's it! Perfect! You're a natural."

"Stop lying," she laughed, following what he was saying and dancing with him in a forgotten valley in some old ruins, "I can't dance for the love of Barbatos."

"I think you're really good, almost seductive," he purred, kissing her jaw and going down her neck, "seeing you move your hips like that just" an animalistic growl came from the back of his throat.

"Okay, calm down big guy, we're not fucking here."

The sound of thunder interrupted his reply, confusing them both for a moment. Suddenly, rain poured and soaked them wet. Y/N looked for somewhere they could go to shelter from the storm, but Childe just laughed and started making her dance again.

"What the hell are you doing, pee-brain!" she exclaimed, desperate.

"Dancing with you under the rain. Isn't it romantic?" he asked, smug as always.

"Romantic until we catch a hypothermia."

He didn't budge. Swaying them both with the dark landscape behind them, leaves flying around, wind aggressive. But nothing mattered as they looked at each other; love, affection and lust hidden in their souls, wanting nothing more than to indulge to the other and become one. How can anyone love this much? How can feelings root that deep? Childe was the only answer to those questions.

With nothing but a soft caress to her cheek, he smashed his lips on hers, kissing her while the rain accentuated the wet sounds. Everything with him was wild, but so addictive she couldn't help but coming undone, indulging to everything he asked silently from her. A kiss in the rain never felt so good.

"I'll be right back, I just need to drop this at Mingxing Jewelry," Albedo said, giving her a peck before leaving.

She stood there for a few moments, wondering what she could do white she waited for her lover. The rain was nearing Liyue Harbor, Albedo had told her he needed to do a couple of things more before going to the transport point to return home. She felt like throwing up, not a single spot in the city did not remind her of the love of her life, including their ugliest moments as a couple.

"How could you!?" Y/N screamed, feeling completely devastated and deceived.

"I had to! I'm sorry, okay?"

"No! It's not okay!" his indifference was breaking her heart, looking at him with disappointment, "Again! You did it again!"

"I was ordered to!" he shouted, his voice the same tone as hers, wrath in his eyes, "I have a job and you knew about it when you decided to fuck me!"

"What the hell, Childe!" she cried, "First of all, you nearly destroy Liyue! Again! Not only once but twice!" she was tired, everything was going down in front of her and she didn't want to watch it come to ruins, "And fuck you? You mean love you?"

"Love, sex, everything's the same, isn't it?" he replied, calmer and returning to his indifferent tone.

"W-what do you mean?" the fuming storm stopped to bring an eye of the hurricane, waiting patiently to unleash the tsunami over them.

"What you heard; I don't find a difference between the two concepts."

"You're lying," she murmured, unbelieving. How could he say that when an hour ago he was looking at her with so much love? Was it all an act? No, you can't feign feelings so deep.

"You're just too fool to see it, girlie," his smirk appeared, making her shake in fear, fear of losing what she cared about, "confusing terms and assuming things without asking."

"You're lying." she repeated, more to herself than for him to hear. He sighed, as if he was done with her.

"Think what you want. Now, there are people waiting for me. Until next time, girlie."

The shattering of her heart served up as the soundtrack of his departure. The leaves that had been once so vibrant and full of colour now danced around her in muted tones, mocking her. That was it, the end of their love. The palace the resembled their union fell into pieces, she needed to let go of him. The words he said cut deeper than a knife, made her feel cold. But how could she let go if she still loved him?

"So now you're with the Alchemist," a familiar voice interrupted her thoughts, making her turn to the source of it.

There he was. Orange hair and piercing blue eyes. His smirk wasn't present in the portray he displayed of himself, walking as the noble man he said he was. Her heart raced for the first time in years, asking her for indulgence, for permission to feel.

"Yes," was the first thing she said after some minutes processing what was happening. Childe was there, in front of her, "yes, I'm with Albedo."

"I see," he commented, uninterested. She thought that was all the interaction they would have, that he would go away again and leave her live her life, but she had to know better, "even if you can't forget me, you allow yourself to be with someone else?"

"What is it to you?" Y/N felt offended, who did he think he was to reprimand her in such a dirty way? He couldn't know she wasn't over him, could he?

"It's unfair for both of you. You see, love shouldn't feel like you owe something to someone just because they love you." Childe said, his gaze falling at the bracelet for a couple of seconds before looking at the landscape, "You're fooling him and yourself."

"And what would you know about love?" the question came in a bitter tone. She was angry, how dare he talk about love when he did her so wrong? When he hurt her so much?

"Touché." Childe gave her a sincere smile that reached his eyes, it was breath-taking. Y/N felt her stomach twirl and her heart jump at the sight of such a beautiful scenario, "Glad to see you well, Y/N. See ya!"

And like that, he left the place as if he hadn't turned her world around again. She missed him, she admitted to herself that she missed him. She missed his wild nature, his odd conversations, the mystery wrapping around him. She couldn't forgive him, but she couldn't live without him, either. That's the way she loved him.

Once Albedo returned from his errands, they both went to the transport point to return to Mondstadt. The way back was silent, but not a comfortable one as they always had, there was some tension lingering in between them. She wanted to attribute it to the tension she had been carrying since her encounter with Childe, but deep down she knew there was something else.

When they entered their house, they both changed into their sleeping garments without sharing a word, waiting for the other to be the first one to break the silence. Y/N didn't have it in her to be the brave one in the situation at hand, so, finally, Albedo spoke.

"I know you're not over him," he said, calmly, but there was jealousy in his tone.

She was surprised to hear him say those words. She never mentioned Childe before, less being in a relationship with him. She wanted to feel fear, the same one she felt when her argument with Childe broke them apart, but she felt nothing at all. Why? Why couldn't she be in love with a man life him?

"What?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Y/N." Albedo sighed, sitting at the edge of their shared bed.

"B-but", she stuttered, searching for words, "H-how do you know...?"

"There were rumours... some years ago, about the 'traveller' being with one of the Eleven Fatui Harbingers. It was during your time at Liyue."

She nodded, understanding, but really not understanding anything, "Did you believe them?"

"I can't say yes, but I can't say no, either." Albedo looked at her, he didn't look angry, and that made her feel a little bit better. "I just couldn't know if it was true or not because I wasn't there."

"I see." another moment of silence followed. She took a deep breath and looked at him in the eyes, "Why do you say that I'm not over him, though?"

"There are so many signs, you aren't the subtlest person, love." he chuckled, "The bracelet has Snezhnaya patterns and you haven't taken it out in all these years. I can only assume it was a present from Tartaglia."

Y/N nodded again, impressed with how observant Albedo was and with his deduction skills. She wished for the hundredth time that day that she would have fell in love with him and not with the Harbinger.

"I'm so sorry-" she began, but was quickly interrupted by her fiancé.

"Don't." he commanded, "That's not the only thing that gave you away."

"What do you mean?"

"Your late night trips."

'He knew' she thought, searching for any clues that could tell her when he had discovered it, but there were none. 'He has known all this time.'

"Why haven't you said anything?" she asked.

"I wanted to give you space," he began, "I must admit, however, that at first I thought you were cheating on me."

"I would never-" she was interrupted again, a kind gaze on his eyes.

"I know, I know. I realized when you came home smelling like grass and mint and not with the cologne of another man."

It was silent again, Y/N tried to find anything she could say to make him feel better, but she couldn't even understand himself. Why isn't she feeling her heart shattering? She knew why, but she didn't want to indulge in that feeling.

"I'm so sorry, Albedo. I really am."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not." those words sounded identical to the ones she had directed to Childe once upon a time.

"I am aware that you don't love me the way I love you."

"Albedo-"

"But it's okay, I can love both of us enough to fill that gap."

She was at a loss of words. Had she heard it right? What did he mean? Albedo was so calm, so ethereal, looking at her fondly even when he knew she didn't feel the same. He was going to marry a woman that didn't want him the same way she wanted her. And even though he was aware of that, he was smiling.

"Why?" she wondered out loud.

"Because that's how it works, that's the way I love you, until you can return my feelings."

The leaves that danced aggressively at the other side of the window stayed still, processing the scene going on in the room of the Alchemist and the Traveller. Their colour coming back to a vibrant one, giving her hope of being able to love again, to feel something.

Her love with Childe was like the Sun and the Moon, so in love they were crazy for each other, but impossible and unworkable. But, Albedo loved her like the Sea loved its waves, like the birds loved the Wind, like a Dwelling loved the warmth of the fire, and she was going to return it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but she would. And when she did, she would love him as much as the Leaves loved their trees, as much as the Lake loved the rain that floods it, as much as the Horizon loved dusk.

She bid goodbye to Childe that night, leaving the bracelet in the drawer in her nightstand. Adorning her hand only was the ring Albedo had gifted her.

"See you, Childe," she murmured at 2 a.m. before falling in her slumber.

[guigz1-coldwar]

"Redemption": The Epilogue for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out!

Chapter Summary: A week passed in Yirina's life as she reflects on her own life & events that happened in a few months, have a talk with a few of her friends before the talk with her love to decide on the future…

To read it on AO3, click here!

Words: +3200

Taglist: @snowgoldwaylon , @clxudtea , @efingart, @chrystallenex

----------------------------------------------------------------------

A week later

9th September 1984

It's been a week now since the last main operation has been done and since that day, I could feel better even if a part of me know that the threat was not over but another part of me was sure that it will not come back until a long time and to be honest, I don't know what to feel about this...maybe that I shouldn't think too much about this and try to focus ahead of me for the moment...to say that I'm getting at the end of this book...

I wrote so much...draw so much since I got my hands by this doctor...Doctor Krimilov, I was sad to learn of his death and I feel bad about this...it's thanks to that man that I could write down every memory that my head managed to catch over the last few months...and this book is having them noted on each page with details, some sketches of the place I could remember and the faces I saw...so much in this book and it's only a part of my life I could get back...I'll need more time...and I look forward to it...

Right now, on the 9th of September 1984, the situation in Verdansk has greatly improved and if some of Perseus' fanatical soldiers were still around the city, the skirmishes were less present, and more missions of helping the civilians were made. Sadly, we had to part ways with Viktoria a day after our operation, considering that her mission in the region was done and she left to an unknown location and gave us thanks before leaving...and since that day, we were back at the CIA's HQ...wondering what's going to happen next...

Damn...I'm getting right to the end of the book, I didn't think at all that the memories I could gather until were going to take over a single diary...maybe the drawing didn't help but I couldn't help myself. However, I'm sure that once we got back to England and maybe shortly, I'll start another diary for my memories and this time, I think that it will be more clear...let's hope so...this is the end...time to close a chapter...

"Hey," One tap with the pen over the very last word of the diary from me before I could hear a voice in front of me as I'm laid against one of the nearest trees of the headquarter tent. "Hey, Yirina, head up," The voice adds, prompting me to do as it said and discover Sims, leaning towards me. "Were you sleepy while trying to write down?" He asks with his hands on his waist.

"If I slept during writing something, I'm not sure it will be good to look at," I scoff with a little laugh, checking that I didn't make a mistake before I close down the book. "I just finished that diary, no more space to write anything," I say, starting to get up before Sims moves his right hand at me, helping me to get up.

"Really? When did you start that by the way?" He demands once I was up on my feet.

"Back in March," I reply to him and his face shows signs of surprise before giving out a little laugh, the same one as me. 

"Damn, you got busy," He laughs before he gives me a head gesture away, starting to follow him to surely go inside the headquarters tent. "Do you think that one day, I would have a chance to read it?" 

"And see how I draw you?" I tell him, getting next to the entrance but he stops at my words, raising his right eyebrow to me.

"You draw me?" I nod. 

"I did...but I don't remember well," I respond with the truth, unable to remind myself when I did draw him...maybe it was in the US...impossible to put my finger on it. "You know what? I'll tell you when you'll be able to read it, okay?" I propose as a deal and hopefully, for me, he accepts that, giving me a nod but keeping a curious face about the fact I draw him. 

"Yeah, you better keep your promise," He warn me with a good tone in his voice before we finally enter the tent, nobody around except the two of us.

"And you? What about the flamethrower you promised me?" I remind him, of a thought that came back a day ago after passing next to the camp armory where an old flamethrower from the war was found and brought back here. 

"Once I got to see that face you made," He pointed his finger at me with a grin on his face while walking to the other side of the table before he stops in front of me, putting his hands on the table to look with me over the map. "Anyway, you told me earlier before you went writing to give you a little update for you & Park and...where is she by the way?" He asks me.

"She said she needed a moment alone so it's better to let her, I can tell everything," I reply, Park, telling me earlier that she wanted to get her head clear in a spot away from the camp that only me & her use to go. "So, what's the deal?" I gesture with my head to the map.

"Well, as you maybe heard from me today, Hudson took Mason, Woods & Adler to the city, you know, with those mysterious bunkers some of our teams found," Sims starts, moving his right index over a location in the downtown district of the city. "It said to be belonging to the Germans back from the war and the explosions kinda exposed some of them so, we're going to investigate them," 

"And the Russians?" I demand, not having heard anything from the KGB since yesterday.

"The KGB's pulling out, they've done here and thankfully, our mole inside will close the eyes of our presence here, we're free," Sims assumes, making a circle towards the old location where the KGB was located before, now empty. "I also heard that you, Park & your friends leave in 2 days right?" 

"We leave tomorrow in the evening, Park wanted us to be back to London and give a full report of the situation," I explain myself on that situation, remembering my relieved face when I learned of our departure to get back home in my head. "After that, I don't know what will happen but we either stay on duty and are given a new mission or have some vacations...I don't care as long as we're away from here," I add before raising my head at him. "You?" Sims looks a bit sad on his face to learn that we leave but he wasn't going to show it completely.

"I'm leaving once we got to know what those Germans bunkers are holding, I'm gonna let Hudson take the commands once he's back, I can't hold being the boss around," He says with a breath, passing his left hand on his face and then, removing his cap to let his hand pass through his hair. "Well, I think it's good now," He sighs. "I think you want to see your friend, Zasha at the infirmary, I don't want to hold you enough, you know what to do, right?"

"Yeap, I'm going with Park in the night to one of the bunkers in the city near the port, got it," I nod at him, knowing well of the order before I got ready to leave the tent to see Zasha but then, Sims moves his hand forwards, looking for a shake. 

"Thank you, Yirina," Sims mutters, a smile on his face and then, I got my right hand in front before shaking hands, also a smile on my face. 

"Thank you, Sims," I repeat on my side during our shake, me letting out a breath and giving a finger salute to him before we broke the shake and then, starting to turn around to leave the tent and move away.

The ambiance of the camp was seeming so different now from the first moment we got in days ago. The camp was no longer seeing agitated with lots of soldiers & vehicles moving around, seeming calmer than before because the numbers of soldiers here were reduced, either moving to outposts around the city or able to leave and get back to their homes, and so on...it was going to be me, Park, Zasha & Portnova's turn to pack our bags & return home...

I arrived at the infirmary after a few moments of walking, it wasn't too far from the other tent, close to the one we were using to sleep and it was looking empty with the only exception of Zasha who was one of the few still in it, laying down on a bed with their right arm covered in a bandage and a brand new black eyepatch over their right eye...

"Hey, Zed," I wave my left hand towards them to announce myself as I was arriving near them who were looking in the other way

"Yirina!" They exclaim with happiness in their voice, having let them with Portnova for the day until now. 

"Where's Portnova?" I ask, next to their bed as she's nowhere around them, an empty chair that is usually Portnova's spot when she's visiting Zasha.

"She left to get me a coffee,  she should be back in a minute," Zasha replied, giving a gesture towards the direction I just come from as I decides to sit down on the bed at their left, no one on it. 

"Didn't you suppose to not have coffee before going back to London?" I let out a joke off me.

"Yirina, I'm not sick, I'm just...I have a wounded arm and an eye behind an eyepatch," They gave out a funny sigh from their mouth, rolling their eyes around. "But I'm doing good, the arm's doing okay but the eye is surely gonna take time," They add, pointing towards their eyepatch with their free hand. "I can't wait to get back home and see my little Beans back," 

"Me too," I smiled, missing the strokes I was giving to Beans now that her name was back into my mind before the smile I got slowly disappeared at the names coming into my mind. "Shit..."

"What?" Zasha says.

"I...about Dedov..." I whisper, passing my hand through my face about this...I remember that it was hard for Zasha to accept this fact but...Dedov who wasn't here despite the promise I made...it's sad. "I'm sorry," I apologize for that, feeling that this promise was broken.

"It's okay...I tried my best but...Dedov told me..." Zasha starts to say, cutting themselves to take a deep breath. "He told me that even if he doesn't trust me...he will try to keep in contact with us...he said he will find a way..."

"Yes, I know," I murmured at this, a revelation that Zasha declared to us two days ago but still...it was hard to admit that Dedov wasn't going to get back to us easily...but there's hope. "At least, he can come back," I admit, giving myself some hope.

"Yes," Zasha nods at me, a grin on their face and looking curious. "And...your friend...Lazar?"

"They...Uhm..." I scratch my head. "Sims told me yesterday that the CIA has to make checks about him and find a way to remove the brainwashing...it's complicated but it says it will take a long time before he goes back to normal," I resume, a bit happy on the side that Lazar was found but still affected by the brainwashing, hope still in for him. "It will be good, I hope," 

"He will don't worry...I can't wait to meet him once he will be okay," They declare about Lazar with a little smile and enthusiasm, something that I could give back.

"He's a nice guy...you should watch however about his hugs, they're nice but don't get used to it," I advises them with a laugh before I could hear behind me from a few meters, some footsteps and I turn around to see Portnova coming with a cup of coffee between her hands. "Hey, Portnova," I say with the same smile.

"Hey, good to see you there," Portnova smiled back at me, arriving next to us and passing in front of me to give Zasha their coffee. "As you asked, Zeze," She whispers as the two looks each other in the eyes during the exchange.

"Thank you, Yiri," Zasha thanks her, taking the coffee in their hands before Portnova moves to sit on her usual chair.

"So, what were the two talking about?" She demands from us. 

"About the future," I speak up first, preferring to avoid the subject of Dedov with her. "We were talking about Beans," I claim at her, Zasha giving out a nod to approve of that.

"Oh nice," Portnova looked enthusiast at this, giving a glare between us. "You don't need to worry, it's a teacher friend of mine who's taking care of Beans so it will be okay, we'll have her back once we're back to London," She affirms, moving her hands on her lap as I & Zasha were looking at her. "Is the departure still for tomorrow?" She then drifts her eyes towards me.

"Yes," I nod, confirming this. "They'll give us a plane that will make a stop in Munich & then Brussels before arriving in London, the flight's tomorrow in the evening," I gave out in detail the plan of tomorrow, seeing on their face their relief of leaving that region for good...something that we all share now. "I need however to go on a small mission with Park tonight, an old bunker in the city, it should be fine," 

"Oh okay," Zasha says.

"Where is she? I didn't see her today," Portnova asks, turning her head around.

"Well...Uhm...she needs some time to think on her side...Uhm...I think that I should go and see, we didn't talk too much today," I expressed my concern while deciding to go up from the bed, looking to the tent entrance. "I'll leave you to talk...I need to check Park,"

"You'll come back later, Yirina?" Zasha demands in a worried voice.

"I will, Zasha, before we leave for the city," I respond, my eyes back on the two before giving out a small grin to them. "See you later...be positive," I advise with a small nod as I start to walk away from them out of the tent, seeing the two gettings closer while I was getting out before I was out of sight of them...leaving me to see Park.

I wasn't worried too much about Park as she was looking fine to me since our last operation but her moments of being alone were indeed getting more present over the past few days and she never told me why she was spending those moments alone in that spot I knew well along with her...I walked towards that spot by taking a small dirt path that was leading up to a cliffside overlooking the camp and walking through that path, at the beginning of the evening, a few hours before our mission was feeling a bit...weird for me in a good way.

Finally, after a short moment of thinking and walking on that path, I arrived at that spot and I found her...at the same spot she was always sitting on...sit on the ground, her back against a fallen tree, looking away at the horizon over the camp and the sea not far away from the site...she was looking to think in her head but something was telling me she was aware of my presence, soon confirmed by her left blue eye moving at me...a direct smile coming out as I was closing in towards her.

"You can sit down...I was waiting for you," She affirms, making a little tap at her left on the ground to make me sit.

"Thank you...love," I murmured, moving to the place she tapped to slowly sit, crossing my legs once I was on the ground and looking away at her same direction as her.... this view is indeed beautiful...a fresh air on my face skin... refreshing..."Refreshing, isn't it?"

"Yes, is it," Park says, soon feeling her arms wrapping themselves around myself my shoulders and then, her head on top of my right shoulder. "You know...I was thinking about us...how do you think we would have met if you...well...if no one of this happened?" She demands in a low & curious voice and this...I don't know what to answer here...

"I don't know...I don't see anything else..." I said, unable to give a proper response than that. "I don't even know if we would have met outside of anything that happened to me," I presume with a small shrug of my left shoulder while my right arm moved behind Park's back. "But I think that...we should focus on what the future will hold us now," 

"You sure?" Park whispers.

"Yes...why?" I ask.

"I...I still feel guilty about what happened, I know we...talked about this a lot but...I still have that pain," She declares with her voice that was still sounding guilty...and I needed to reassure her of one sure thing I knew.

"You don't deserve to be guilty...you were redeemed since the moment you forgive yourself...since we love each other," I admit again at her, proving my profound love of the woman whose arms are wrapped around me at the moment. "I believed in your redemption as the others did... the past is the past, things were done but it doesn't change the fact that I...love...you...you're the woman of my life and I need you," I breathed as I could see her right hand without her glove, one of its finger having the very ring of my mother around it..."You're a strong woman and I know that,"

"You too," She chuckled, feeling her hands in a better way around me as if she didn't want to lose me, something I could understand. "And...I believed in your redemption too...everything that happened from the moment you came back until now showed me that you're the person I needed the most," She tell me, and...honestly, to think about it...I think that she was truly right...for once, I could feel redeemed for good...the guilty of my past as a Perseus agent was removed..."I just need you to be there for me and...I need to be there for you," 

"I need you too," I says, moving my arms around her to affirm my words, closing my eyes for a few seconds before getting them back open, fully moved as we were both looking at the horizon. "I love you, Park,"

"I love you, Yiri," She affirms in her low voice before we look at each other, both eyes moved, and then, I softly pull her for a little kiss on the lips...feeling for the first time, real freedom...finally...a redemption...a kiss than soon ended by both us going back to look at the horizon...both of us thinking about the future, our friends, our opportunities and our redemptions we finally got...we finally got...

The Redemption of our spirits.

-------------------------------------------

Well…after more than 181 chapters…the story of Yirina Grigoriev…is done…

I can't really believe that I did so much for Yirina…and I can't really believe too that the story came to an end after so long…more than a year after this story was launched as a reboot of an old CW story I did…a year…more than 620000 words…181 chapters. Honestly, I didn't think at all that I was going to make a story this long and that's what I did…

It's getting me very emotional that the story of my OC Bell is arriving at its end. A page of my writing story is closing down and a new one is opening…I learned so much from writing this story, meeting a lot & lot of new friends coming from the community…this story is & will always stay inside of my heart as the longest but as the one I put all of my heart into it…

I did this story to give to you all, Yirina Grigoriev and her love story with Helen Park who was for me, the second main character of this fic and the most important one alongside Yirina. Park is the COD character I appreciate the most in the franchise now and it was obliged from me to make Yirina go with her…their story is maybe done for the moment but maybe for the next Black Ops, their story will continue…but the future will tell us what's happening…

So…I already said this but it's sad & emotional for me to arrive at the end of this fic…not believing again that I finished after a year of work…a year and a lot of chapters…I wasn't believing it when I arrived at the 100th chapter and now…it just made me all happy and sad to get this story concluded after 181 chapters…

Now, it's time for me to….shit…to close this long story once & for all and move on to write new fan fictions in the future…Yirina Grigoriev's story came to an end but she will surely come back in the future too. For the moment, I wish you all a big, big thank you for having follow her story from the cliff of Solovetsky until that moment with Park in Verdansk…you're all amazing and your support means a lot for me…you're all the best people I met in years and I hope that our story will continue for a long time…

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Cordially

GuiGZ1

[becausethathappens]

Will you please write a super angsty fic where Link is freaking out because he thinks the wedding vows he has written aren't good enough and Rhett helps him go over them and make corrections and says they're perfect but also, just says the vows he would say for Link if it was them like it should've been because he's heartbroken and Link can tell but their hands are tied and they don't know what to do so they soldier on without saying a word, but wordlessly communicating lifelong love and misery and everything, maybe comfort as well?

i'm really really sad and i can't shake it off and i really want some good angst and hurt/comfort and i really love you, maura, you're awesome

I don't do unhappy endings, anon. I'm confident you don't either. In fiction or otherwise. So, pardon this if it’s not what you expected.

Please enjoy? This was done a little hastily to share it with you (and I should be writing other things per usual) but I've had a rough week and I want to hopefully make someone smile. (I have way angstier stuff in the drafts and I will be sure to get those out eventually, too.) You’ll feel better soon.  🤞  Thank you! 💞

-———————-

now or forever

4k - Rhett writes Link vows.

If you were my boy, Blue

I’d bathe you in honeys (sp?)

I’d sing write you a love song

I’d shoot you a star**

If you were my boy, Blue

There ain’t nothing in this life I wouldn’t give

From my heart, to my toes, to my fingers, my nose (**)

Whatever it takes just to watch you live 

continue to ‘ ’ grow with you like a vine ‘round a rose 

If you were my boy, Bue

I wouldn’t want you all for myself

There’s no star bright enough to match your lightin’

In sickness, blue, so certainly while we have health

Hand in hand, no longer fightin’

What’s destiny (**)

You and & me

If you were my boy, Blue

I'd marry you

&

Thank God for Rhett. Giving him, delivering him, blessing him with Rhett.

Link is in the middle of a spiral (what he’ll later recognize as a panic attack) when Rhett arrives, the eve of his wedding. Bailing him out of this with pen, paper, and a smile.

Link has always been good at improv.

Though Rhett tended to find the words to start. These were his own vows and Link has been putting time to sit and start them off for weeks. Now that he has to, he’s dumbfounded, despite being deeply in love.

Amidst all the planning and chaos, writing his vows was such a given that Link left it as priority sixty-seven on a list of many more.

Unfortunately, even as busy as they’ve been, that list was shredded with the “who gifted what” tracking sheet (both literally, accidentally, and figuratively) back around the bridal shower and it’s been anarchy ever since.

So he thanks God for Rhett, who’s here, to stop another needless disaster from happening.

That same generous God, however, watches him plagued with thoughts of utter devotion at Rhett’s willingness to drop everything on a weeknight and rush over to help Link find his words.

His lyrics, really, is what Link has in mind. Since they used to write songs together and this felt much the same. He’s been floundering all night and now that Rhett’s here, he knows he’ll at least get what he needs done. Even if it’s not all he wants, right now.

That same God seeks judgment on his every decision or flinch against His will, for any reason, to spite him.

For this reason.

He wants to smush Rhett’s face and kiss him. Deeply. He doesn’t.

Even if there were sometime in the past that he could get away with a platonic smooch, now he can’t. He simply could not prevent that from escalating.

So, he merely tightens his grip on the wrinkled scrap paper in his hand and scrunches his eyes.

“Why can’t it be you up there…” Link bemoans, loudly, in his frustration.

Rhett’s eyes widen, in horror, and Link slams his other hand at his mouth, rolling his eyes. “Not like - I mean - why can’t you go say my lines for me. You’re so much better at this kinda thing.”

“Let me read what you’ve got,” Rhett says.

After some review, Rhett sighs, not unkindly and sits down next to Link. “Let’s just talk through what you’re trying to say because, yeah, this reads like liturgy.”

“Ain’t is supposed to? It’s in a chapel!”

“What do you like about her?” Rhett asks, ignoring his nitpicking. “Christy?” Rhett stares at him, waiting, too upset for Link to chastise but clearly wanting to.

“She’s patient,” Link says, reminded by the similar. Rhett folds over the book to an open page and clicks the pen in his hand, writing that down. “A-And she’s kind. Like considerate, ‘specially with babies and little animals. Sh-She does this thing where she immediately drops to their eye-level to make sure they don’t feel unheard or seen. Probably ‘cause she’s always been so tall…”

Rhett’s still writing.

“Then when I’m sick, she forces me to rest. You know I hate that,” Link says, voice rising a little, at the memory. “But you know I need that. You won’t be the last to make me stop and smell the roses or take a break, once in a while.”

“Her hair, write, her hair - the way it looks in the sunshine. Like warm caramel with flecks of gold. She’s a vision, an angel. Especially when she’s wearing all white, like,” Link says, pausing to point to Rhett’s undershirt and pale grey sweats. “Makes blondes look ethereal-like, always has.”

“Oh, and her voice. Sometimes, the way her accent catches, well, you know she don’t like to sing like us, never has, but when she says certain things, asks a question the right way - it’s music. The way it harmonizes with my answer, reminds me of singing, reminds me of us.”

Rhett keeps writing, quiet, and focused.

After a short time, Link can’t stop and wants to crane over to see what he’s come up with. Rhett hands it over after crossing a final “t” somewhere on the page.

“Those’re good, Link, but I think you need to keep closer to what I wrote, leave out the stuff about me.”

“Stuff about you?” Link asks, having spoken in a stream-of-conscious style, Link forgets most of what he even said

Rhett looks away, shakes his head.

Distracted by the desire to read the rest, Link abandons the lingering questions he has about Rhett’s suggestion and response.

“These are great, man, thanks,” Links says, pushing a soft hand into Rhett’s side.

His eyes scan to the bottom where Rhett’s added a few lines about the journey, the marriage, all the ceremonial aspects of the day for him to close with, but then something more.

Something about him.

Rhett catches him catch it and looks further away. “I know Christy pretty well, too, y’know. Y’all are just alike, in that way. She might need some back-up vows, to have and hold.”

Link reads them.

“You know, just in case.”

Link looks up and tries to laugh.

He doesn’t laugh.

He goes back to reading them.

Rhett shifts uncomfortably, touches the back of his neck, and shuts his eyes.

“Rhett, these ’re…”

“I know, bo, you can forget ‘em,” Rhett excuses, still not meeting Link’s gaze. “You want me to… I can rewrite the others on a different - I can turn the page and write ‘em there so you can just…”

“Hey, hey,” Link interrupts him, mad at Rhett putting down his best friend, and eager to explain his actual thoughts. “Rhett, these are perfect. These are… I’m sad I can’t say anything as nice in return to you.”

Rhett finally looks up to acknowledge that and their gaze heats and lingers.

“Not that I…” Link stutters to clarify. “Y-You’d have to be a - if that’s something that was gonna - you know - if that was gonna work…”

His mind does it’s usual jump to a visual for the worst case scenario depicting the implication he stumbled across. Him out eight grand on the wedding. Not to mention a wife, a family, a future, a faith -

a friend -

Link gulps, pushing that back away, pushing them both forward, in his estimation.

It’s too much to bear to think about for another second. When he glances at Rhett, he can’t get a read on his face what he thinks about it, and that’s scary enough for him to want to abandon the concept altogether.

“Christy’s gonna love them.”

It’s enough, saying his fiancée's name, to ground him again. Enough to make it okay for him to grab Rhett’s palm and squeeze it in thanks, between them.

Rhett’s made his choice to give up on film school.

Link’s made his choice to give up on whatever schoolboy obsession he has with monopolizing all of Rhett’s days and nights. 

He’ll stick to the days or every other weekend, however they can still fit time together, is fine by him. This ceremony, tomorrow, feels as much about his graduation from friend to husband, and all that that entails.

They’re adults.

They both know there’s a lot of sacrifices to be made and this feels like the first time he’s really acknowledging how hard they’re going to be to make. He hopes they’ll still see each other.

He hopes their kids will get along.

He has a lot of hopes.

All of them involve Rhett.

There’s a lot he should write down for when Rhett finds his own bride to wed.

Link notices, suddenly, that Rhett is crying. The same part of him that's nearly broken the headwind of these conflicting emotions turns back to comfort him.

“Hey, don’t cry,” Link soothes, realizing he’s also still holding Rhett’s hand.

“‘M sorry,” Rhett intones, the words bubble up and out of him simultaneously, sounding like water draining in a filled sink. “And the night before your wedding, good Heavens.”

“Hey, I’ve been crying all week,” Link says, waving a hand at the stress that planning a wedding has kept put on him. “Nothing I haven’t seen in the mirror.”

Rhett laughs, rubbing a thumb over his own thigh in a way that brushes upwards against the place Link’s clasping his hand. Link nearly pulls his hand back, thinking Rhett’s trying to get him to sense his want for space, but when he meets his eye it’s clear he’d like nothing less.

“I think I’m just -” Rhett starts to say, trailing off. The light from the lamp on the far coffee table is the only thing on in the room. Link drops his gaze a few inches to try and see more of Rhett’s downturned eyes as he hems and haws. He squeezes their hands together, again, this time clasping it more firmly, still pressing Rhett’s large palm down from above. “I think I’m just a li’l jealous, is all.”

It’s the quietest admission he’s heard from Rhett since he told him he failed their chemistry mid-term in eleventh grade.

Link is also so lost at the innocence of the admission that he can only think of follow-up questions. “Of me?”

Rhett looks at him for a long, long minute and finally, when Link’s gaze remains confused for the whole length of the pause, he shakes his head, no.

Then he waits. 

He waits for Link to realize what he means.

But he’s still waiting when Link, oblivious, moves onward trying to comfort Rhett, instead of understanding him fully.

The tension in the room is palpable as Link talks, but only to Rhett, it seems. Only Rhett pictures air bags being deployed in a car safety video as metal hits cinder block. Only Rhett moves his hand, though it’s all it takes to dislodge them from each other completely.

“I know you’re gonna make an amazing husband some day.” Link is saying.

Rhett’s hand aches where cool air now surrounds it.

“I know your wife is gonna get to hear you say such wonderful things about her.”

Rhett wipes his hand of the misunderstanding on the cotton of his pants.

“I know she’s gonna say the same kind of things about you, when it’s your turn up there.”

Rhett mourns the idea that this would ever be requited.

“I know she’s gonna love you, just as much as I do, so she’ll have plenty to say.”

Rhett looks away, wiping the last of his tears from his eyes. 

 “I’ll make sure she has plenty of ideas where to start.”

Rhett pats Link’s leg, in camaraderie, and nods.

And that’s it. They shoot the shit, they make a plan to meet up at a donut place for the groomsmen’s breakfast to thank them for their help, before the ceremony, and they’ll talk things through if Link’s feeling jittery still. Then Rhett’s gone.

It’s not until the next day at eleven on the dot (everyone has an agenda to follow and every moment is accounted for) that Link understands Rhett’s pain.

His mother straightens his tie and flattens the edges of his suit. “You’ll wanna know I heard Christy looks like an angel in her dress, from the girls upstairs.”

“Those actual angels you been talkin’ to, Sue?” Rhett jokes, where he’s twisting his cummerbund around every so often, bored.

“Very funny, honey,” Sue ribs back. “From the cousins, Beth and Hailee Sue. Remember they’re friends with the hairstylist you got to do the curls for Christy’s hair, today? She was over last night getting Christy ready for bed with how to wash and dry it a special kind of way. They were there, too.”

Link starts to tune her out, since there’s a lot on his mind, but then she says more.

“She says the hairstylist was talking about how jealous she was of Christy, all night, getting to marry you,” Sue relays.

“Oh, mama, please,” Link dismisses. The compliments he’s been getting have felt faker than the toupee on his uncle Bruce. That girl has never even met him. “I’m the only person here people should be jealous of, who would be jealous of Christy,” he says, trailing off, muttering his reasoning as he did. “Marrying a trainwreck like me.”

Link looks up in the mirror where some of his friends continue to mingle in various states of undress. Rhett is already dressed, however, and staring straight at Link like he’s been caught with a hand in a cookie jar.

Link’s about to ask what’s wrong when he remembers his words. Then looks again over the planes of Rhett’s face.

Last night’s words slam back into his mind and Link’s mouth drops open.

The church organ belts out an opening flurry of notes before Canon in D begins playing loudly through the sound system built into the rafters above them. Link looks up to see one of the church staff at the door instructing them to join the bridal party to line-up.

Link’s mom dashes off to where she’s paired with her nephew, Link’s favorite cousin, to be escorted down the aisle.

Rhett sees Link’s face rushing through a wash of emotions from a distance, he nods to the staffer in silent understanding that he’ll handle it, and then they’re alone.

He walks up to Link and takes his hand. He squeezes it.

“Hey, you gotta go. We gotta go. It’s showtime,” Rhett insists.

Link looks around like a bomb went off, since in some ways it did, and he doesn’t know what to do.

Rhett seems to pick up on that. He squeezes Link’s hand again.

“I’ll get over it, Link, it’s okay,” Rhett whispers, on the verge of desperation.

That confirmation is enough to fully shatter Link.

Only for a moment. 

The music continues and Rhett keeps his hand hold.

They are adults. They are in love. They have to marry. 

None of these things can be helped.

“I’m gonna be so jealous of Her, too,” Link whispers back. He squeezes Rhett’s hand one last time, as they part.

They leave.

They walk straight.

They part again.

Until later.

They move houses and cities and states.

They move mountains, inside and out.

They move together.

Much later.

They join again.

They run crooked.

They return.

To one another.

Link has spent years worrying a ring that means too much to too few people.

In the beginning, when he cries himself to sleep at what he thinks has been the mistake of a lifetime, it’s His talisman. It reminds him of the expectations upon this life he’s made.

As the years pass, however, the adherence to the bogeymen of their childhood’s rules wears thin. It starts to strictly represent love and patience.

Sacrifice.

It begins to feel like a burden. A representation of what’s been lost, not what’s been found.

He contemplates taking it off, but believes that to be a betrayal of all that it stands for to the people he stands for. 

Then, one day, (surely mid-spin) he hears Rhett tell a story about wanting to change his ring.

He watches the silver twirl as Rhett explains.

He believes he was rushed into a certain type of marriage and a certain type of life by a certain type of person.

It’s a life that he’s grown to love but the ring represents a union forced by custom and not one that’s grown through devotion. 

His ring reminds him of that too often to be good for him.

Link twists his again at the admission.

So, Rhett’s thinking about replacing the ring.

Link returns home that night in a stupor. He’s sure he said one too many things to Rhett to emphasize how wild it felt to hear him talk about changing rings.

Any memories of that day, their wedding, bring up a rush of emotions that he’s never been good at sorting through.

Today’s admission makes him feel the same spur to make use of idle, betrothed hands he feels when he cleans the fridge.

He wants to clean the slate.

He finds an old DVD copy of their wedding ceremony that he paid to have converted from miniDV some years ago. Now he struggles to find a place to watch that DVD. How quickly time has flown by.

Eventually, he ends up in his son’s room - no one’s home for the remainder of the night but he and Christy - now, he’s sitting on a bean bag, squinting at the game console’s controller trying to get the joysticks to move to “play” on screen.

The ceremony bursts to life and, like it was yesterday, Link’s nerves fizzle awake.

About halfway through the video, Christy finds him like that and sits down next to him in a thwump absorbed mostly by the stuffing of the chair.

They watch themselves smile happily at each other and Christy takes his hand.

“Should I be happy or scared to find you alone watching this on a Saturday night?” she asks, wryly, squeezing his palm.

Link doesn’t know what to say. He’s caught up in Rhett’s bygone script being spoken on screen. Words about Christy and about Link that were not their own, declared loudly in front of the congregation.

“I don’t know,” Link admits, shrugging. He doesn’t. He squeezes her hand back.

“You wanna tell me what’s eating you?”

Link hesitates, but relents. He wants that clean slate, after all. “Rhett’s getting his wedding ring replaced.”

“Replaced?” Christy asks, balking.

“Replaced, yeah,” Link responds, sure he didn’t misspeak.

“With what?” she asks.

“Oh, some new one. Fancy thing, very cool, made of trees or something. Honestly he wears the other one, the slick black one more than his wedding band half the time. He says it feels like the old one? It’s the kind of ring you get in a bauble at a vending machine crank. So, he wants a new one.”

“Jeesh,” Christy says, making a face at the screen. The camera catches Rhett stealing glances at the couple, then at the crowd, beaming at all with unbridled pride.

“Wouldn’t you be mad if I did that?” Link inquires, still baffled at the idea.

“Well, no, but don’t you love your ring? Heirloom and all that,” she says.

Link cringes. “Yeah, yeah. Honestly, I do.”

“So?”

“So, I still kind of want to and I’m not sure what that means.”

They watch the screen together.

“Do you wanna stay married?” she asks, in a small voice.

“Yes,” he breathes out.

There’s a long pause.

“To me?” she asks, her voice even smaller.

“Yes,” he breathes in.

She squeezes his hand, her confidence built back up. She begs him to join her.

“And him?” Christy whispers.

They both look the screen, the lens centered on the two of them, but their gaze is mutually torn to where Rhett stands wiping a tear from his eye at Christy reciting the last of the vows that he wrote her. Wrote him. Wrote them both.

She squeezes his hand again.

“Yes,” he breathes out.

She leans her head on his shoulder.

“You should probably get another ring, then,” she jests. “We shouldn’t have to share everything.”

The slate is clean.

There’s a lot he wants to say to Rhett about it, but just as before, he’s relied on Rhett to give him the right words to say. So, instead of words, he starts wearing Rhett’s ring.

Then, a new one, when he realizes he can match him separate from the other, all told. Have something of Rhett’s, all to himself.

In his unspoken push towards something more, their hands now match along with their steps, as they walk forward.

On the last week in July, they get ice cream at the fifth place that month to mistake them for husbands, but the first one he hears Link crow an affirmative in response.

Rhett waits for him while he triple-tips the cashier (for the guess) and pays for their cones.

“Bad joke,” Rhett says, softly, but firm.

“Who’s kidding?” Link parries back, a smirk dancing it’s way across his lips.

Rhett watches him with a wistful look of disbelief.

“Link, we’re married,” Rhett warns him.

Link shrugs. “I know. I’m just waiting for you to figure that out and minding my ice cream here, all right?”

He’s got a mouthful of vanilla bean and extra cookie crumble, the next second, so his vow ends there.

Later, at home, Rhett startles Jessie awake when he fully realizes Link’s words.

He shakes her awake. He shakes them both awake.

“I’m in love with Link,” he says, like it’s a confession.

She kisses him because so is she. So are most people.

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

Rhett repeats himself.

So does she.

They stare at each other under the cover of silk and moonlight.

“We’re married,” Rhett whispers, touching his hand to hers. Their rings clink, new and shiny.

“Yeah, and so are we,” she whispers back.

They fall asleep smiling.

The next day, Rhett sneaks up behind Link while he’s working and causes him to spill his cup of coffee. He gets the stink eye for only a minute because it’s the same length of time he can stand Link’s grumpy mug before he has to swoop down and kiss him on the lips.

“You figured it out,” Link says, grinning.

“I did,” Rhett chirps as he kisses Link more.

They take a car to their house. It’s filled with their love and the history of it; before, during, and after.

“What’s this?” Link asks, dazed in their post-sex glow, naked and alive.

He spots an old chord book of theirs from last time they wrote music.

“Oh,” Rhett says, bashful. “I came looking for you here this morning, hoping you slept over again, but, uh,” Rhett stalls, looks away and tries to take the songbook from Link’s hand. Link pulls it far enough he can’t reach. “You were already at the job.”

“And?” Link asks, using his spry, sinewy body as an advantage to slink away from the bed out of Rhett’s grip. He still has the book in hand.

“Those are your vows,” Rhett explains.

Link looks down and squints, confused. These aren’t the vows that Christy read at their wedding. He’s seen that video only a few months back and is sure of it.

“Our vows,” Rhett whispers, explaining further, at Link’s puzzled look.

“It’s a love song,” Link notes, marveling at the gesture. What it means to a young version of himself that once felt like they had surely cut out and mourned the possibility of this - all of this - ever happening. To have that thought coexist with the image of a nude, hulking tree trunk of a husband laid before him smiling up adoringly felt panoptic.

“So are you.”

Link begins to cry.

“Play it for me.”

Rhett wipes his cheek.

“Get my guitar.”

They sing twice more that night, always in harmony (not always in lyric), then spend the rest of their lives together doing much the same.

[addictofsupernatural]

Summer Love

Kei Tsukishima x reader

Summary: Kuroo and Bokuto try to push Tsukki together with his crush, the assistant manager, on the summer retreat.

Word Count: 3.4k

"Hey Tsukki, I—" The tall blonde turned to you and let his guard down, completely forgetting what he was doing. He was drawn to the sound of your voice, which caused him to be hit with a spike from Bokuto on the cheek.

"I still win!" Bokuto declared with his fists raised.

"At the cost of his face you horned owl bastard!" Kuroo barked.

You ran over to Tsukishima, who was bent slightly and holding his face. His whole body was turned from you but you ran around him. His cheeks were slightly tinted with red.

"I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" You grabbed his cheeks and turned his face so that you could see the red mark.

"I'm fine." He grabbed your wrists away from his face and straightened up. "What did you need?"

"Oh, I was going to say that I saved some food for you and your friends." You let him keep his hands on your wrists, and rather liked that he didn't just smack your hands away. Not that you'd have the courage to tell him that. You nervously smiled. "I'm sorry for distracting you."

"You already apologized."

"But I thought I should say it again."

"Don't. You didn't have any bad intent, and I said I was fine."

You grinned. "Okay, well I'll see you at the cafeteria!" You gently pulled your hands back and patted his arm. You then respectfully bowed at the other three before jogging out of the gym. "Bye for now!"

"Bye." He quietly said.

He suddenly felt an arm drape around his shoulder. "Well well Tsukki," Kuroo said. "I didn't think you'd even look at any girls, let alone crush on them."

He let out a tch and looked away. "I'm not crushing on anyone."

Bokuto put his arm around the other side of Tsukishima. "Are you sure about that four eyes? You wouldn't let go of her hands."

"She didn't seem to mind it though." Akaashi quietly added.

"And she called you Tsukki." Kuroo reminded. "You don't let just anyone call you that."

Tsukishima scoffed. "Are you two done? You're both talking about her when she's not in the room, even though she said she saved food for you." They both laughed and stepped back.

"Woah!"

"Hey hey hey!" He tched again, beginning to walk out, with the other three trailing behind.

When the four of them got into the cafeteria you were at a table with a few other managers. You noticed them staring at you as they sat down at a far away table. You perked up, saying something to the girls and leaving to the back room for a second before returned with plates that were wrapped in tinfoil. You quickly gave it to them and bowed, about to leave when Kuroo stopped you.

"Wait." You turned to him. "Sit down with us. We wanted to get to know you, as a thank you." You nervously nodded and sat next to the tall and also nervous blonde. "I'm sure Tsukishima would be okay with sharing his food with you."

"Oh, it's..." Your voice faded as you watched him silently slide his plate a little towards you. You chuckled. "Okay then."

He gave you a fork, and both quietly ate together. Bokuto was grinning while Kuroo smirked. "What's your name?" Kuroo asked.

"Y/n y/l/n."

You always felt nervous talking to upperclassmen, yet was comfortable with all of those in your grade. Tsukishima noticed this right away. You didn't have anything to prove to your fellow first years, and he felt like he could relate to you on that. While he was stone faced to everyone though, you always had a comfortable smile on.

Bokuto leaned across the table, right into your face. You nervously leaned away. "Do you have a boyfriend?" Your faced heated up as you quickly shook your head. You scooted towards Tsukishima as a feeble effort to get away from Bokuto's face, turning your face to try and hide your embarrassment. "Do you want one?"

Tsukishima scooted closer to you to attempt to help hide your red face as a scowl was placed on his own face. There they go again, talking to and about you as if you didn't have your own feelings.

Kuroo smacked the back of Bokuto's head before looking at you with a smile. "What this arrogant bastard" he yells it to his face before turning to you, "meant was, could you see yourself with anyone here? Maybe in your year, or school perhaps?"

You looked down and fiddled with your hands in your lap, leaning away from Tsukishima. "Stop asking her questions like that." He demanded. "She's uncomfortable."

You whispered a hoarse thank you before clearing your voice. You then said, clearly, "Y'know I never see you two around any women. How are your love lives?"

It took you and everyone else a second to register what you had just said. You then quickly shook your head and raised it to look at the two third years.

"Um, that was very rude of me! I'm sorry, sometimes I don't think about who I'm talking to before I say things. My apologies!"

They only blankly stared at you for a second before laughing. "It's okay y/l/n!" Bokuto said. "That was really funny to hear from you. I think Tsukishima might be rubbing off on you though."

"We have to go now." Akaashi said, trying to save you from more embarrassment.

The other two nodded. Kuroo then said, "Again, thank you for the food."

They stood up as you nodded with your heated face. "You'll be talking with us more!" Bokuto shouted as they then left.

You leaned your head on to Tsukishima's arm. "That was so stupid of me to say." You muttered.

He smirked down at you. "It was, but they're a lot more stupid than you are, so you'll be fine."

You giggled. "Even when you insult me, you still say the right thing." You looked up and smiled at him. The two of you stared at each other for a few seconds before you realized how close you were. You leaned back and looked away. "I think I'll go to bed now."

His smile went away. "Okay."

"You should sleep soon too. You've worked so hard today." You then looked at him and patted the cheek where he got hit. "Goodnight."

"Night."

The next day you were brought out of your thoughts and note takings when Fukurodani had it's turn to play against Karasuno. Before the game started Bokuto pointed right at you and yelled, "Hey, y/l/n!" You flinched and looked up, awkwardly waving at him. "Practice with us later!"

You nodded and went back to your notes with a flushed face. Bokuto smugly stared at Tsukishima with his hands on his hips. He glared back when Tanaka playfully smacked him on the back. "Hey, you must feel really jealous that a third year is talking to y/n! It's okay, I feel the same with Kiyoko-chan!"

Nishinoya ran up to him when he heard this. He jumped up, exclaiming, "Don't give up! You can win!"

He glanced over to you and saw you writing in your notebook. You didn't hear anything. He sighed, though he didn't know whether it was in relief or frustration. "Why are you two always yelling?"

"Oh!" They both yelled. They put their index fingers to their mouths. "Shh!"

Later on you trudged over to the gym where the three third years and the tall blonde were practicing. You had spent the whole day taking notes on everyone's flaws and ways to improve on their weak points, then discussed what to add and take out of the list you made with Ukai.

You put your hand over your mouth as you yawned, taking a step inside and rubbing your eyes. "I'm here." They stopped what they were doing and greeted you back. "So what did you need me for?"

"We need eyes." Kuroo stated as walked over to you and guided you to a seat by holding your shoulders. "You need to let us know what we're doing wrong. Remember," he pointed to Bokuto. "Don't hold back on that owl airhead!"

Bokuto grinned at Akaashi and wacked him on the back. He sighed, saying, "Since this is to help Tsukishima with his techniques, you should focus on observing mainly him."

You smiled and nodded, getting a new page ready as you sat down. Tsukishima felt a twinge of both irritation and nervousness to have your focused attention. You tried your best not to forget everyone else and to take the best notes possible for everyone. You did good for a while, but once you wrote what you needed you eventually dozed off.

When they were done they realized you were asleep, the four of them staring at you and feeling bad once they realized how long they went on for. Kuroo nudged Tsukishima. "Carry her."

He looked at him like he was crazy. "What?"

"Oohh! That's not a bad idea!" Bokuto nodded.

Kuroo smirked. "If you want you could just wake her up. But then she'd have to walk into the cold night all the way over to the girl's rooms, which is a descent length walk. Then she'll be fully awake from the cold by the time she gets there, and then she'll have trouble sleeping. All because you weren't committed to helping her." He shrugged. "Who know you were this lazy? Especially when it comes to y/l/n. Maybe someone a little more open minded like Kageyama would be better for her."

He glared at the ground, with the statement clearly getting to him. Kageyama? Really? Why not someone actually kind like Yamaguchi, or even Hinata? He was an idiot but at least he wasn't Kageyama. It was almost like Kuroo was putting him below Kageyama.

He then bent down and carefully scooped you up, holding you close to try and not let the cold get to you once you two were outside. He was blushing madly at the situation. You were lighter than he thought.

Kuroo helped Tsukishima put his bag over his shoulder while trying not to disturb you. He only stared at you as he said, "Put my jacket over her."

Bokuto was about to say something, but Akaashi put his hand on his shoulder to stop him. Kuroo grinned and did what he was told. As soon as he stepped out and the cold hit, you nuzzled yourself into his shirt. His face felt hot and he inwardly sighed that nobody was out here to see him.

He was also glad that there wasn't anyone in the girl's cabin who was awake to see him, or so he thought. He didn't notice that Kiyoko was still awake. He set you down, taking his jacket away and putting the covers over you. He then left.

Tsukishima ate his breakfast a little faster than usual. He knew he'd be stiff and suspicious when he saw you, and he didn't want you asking questions about it. He was successful for a while until it was time for warm ups. Everyone was walking into the gym when you pulled him aside by gripping his hand. You waited until you were the only two outside.

"I have to go ins—"

He went dead silent when you quickly hugged his waist. "Thank you."

You stayed there for a few seconds before you gave him a gentle squeeze and went inside. He noticed that you didn't look at him at all and was grateful that you saved him the embarrassment.

While Karasuno was running one of their penalty laps, Kuroo, Bokuto, and Akaashi walked up to you with your notebook. "Oh, I left it in the gym! Thank you!"

You bowed respectfully. "We all took pictures of the notes you took of us." Akaashi said.

You smiled. "I hope it was helpful."

"You're very observant and can take good notes." Kuroo said. You grinned and blushed a bit.

"Hey!" Bokuto said. "You only noticed the bad things! Did you see all the awesome things about my techniques?"

You giggled and nodded. "I can tell you've built up your strength for a long time and everything about your hit shows dedication."

He grinned and put up his fists. "All right! I'm awesome! Hey hey hey!"

Kuroo looked at the Karasuno boys coming back, and he cupped his hand as if to be inconspicuous. "Hey, I'm not usually one to gossip, but I thought you should know what Tsukishima did for you last night."

Your face flushed once more. "Oh, Kiyoko senpai told me about it. Tsukki has his sweet moments."

"I wonder how many more sweet moments there would there be with him as a boyfriend." He smirked. Tsukishima never turned his head around so quickly. Some people from the team turned their heads as well.

Your face felt extremely hot as you cleared your throat. "Well then, I think you should just go for it and ask him out, since your so interested. Then maybe you could get some sweet moments yourself."

He did a loud and hardy laugh, crossing his arms. "I'll keep it in mind."

You jogged over to Kiyoko and started helping her lower the nets, and you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around but immediately backed up against the pole, quietly gasping as you did, when Tsukishima was bent and his face was right in front of you. "Um, hi."

He smirked. "You're welcome." He straightened up and left. You knew you had a goofy grin on, but you didn't care. You were smitten.

The next few days you were there with them at their nightly practice to jot down how they were improving and in what ways to improve. You did notice that Tsukishima has seemed sore, especially in his arms.

Hinata was eagerly discussing something with Bokuto and Kuroo when you pulled Tsukishima off to the side. He silently watched as you sat him down and disappeared for a bit before returning with an icepack. You wrapped it in a paper towel and sat down next to him.

"Give me an arm." He gave you his right arm and flinched when you put the ice pack on it.

"What are you doing?"

"Helping you." You rubbed the icepack on his arm for a bit. "Y'know, professional baseball players take ice baths so their whole bodies won't be sore. I can tell your arms are sore. So, I'm helping."

You set it down and began rubbing his arm, pressing down harder on the sore spots for it to rub them out. You then did the same on his other arm. He looked between you and what you were doing, though he made sure not to stare for too long.

He didn't want this time to go to waste, so he asked you questions about yourself. "Why do you care about the volleyball team?"

You comfortably smiled. "Why do you ask?"

He shrugged. "Nobody knows much about you, and you're not stupid like Hinata, who blurt their whole life story out about being short."

You chuckled. "At first I figured it'd look good on a resume if it said that I was a manager of something. Then when I started actually attending I got invested. It's got it's ups and downs. I met you."

He scoffed and smirked. "Is that part of the ups or the downs?"

"That's a secret. Can't be making enemies in a club where I'll be staying." You teased. "It'll be awkward."

When the three third years in the gym noticed the two of you talking, they had Lev substitute for the practice game Tsukishima was supposed to be a part of to give you two more time.

The next day was the day off. Students were allowed to go out to the block next to the camp in groups of at least 3 people. You, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi went out together to get away from the place of constant work.

When two certain third years saw the three of you, they looked at each other and nodded. Kuroo whispered something to Kenma, who called Hinata over to their group. Bokuto then said something to Hinata, and Tsukishima noticed that they were all staring. He hoped in annoyance it wasn't something stupid they were planning.

"Yamaguchi~!" Hinata yelled. "Come over here! We need to talk!"

He turned to you two for silent permission. "Go ahead, we can text you later." You said.

Right when Yamaguchi left, the tall blonde suddenly said, "C'mon." He already began walking, and you jogged up and followed him.

There was comfortable silence while you two walked together, with you only speaking until you both stopped at a frozen yogurt shop. He tugged on your wrist and practically dragged you inside from the tight grip he had. "Why'd we come here?"

"You said you liked frozen yogurt. Get a small cup so you don't ruin your dinner." He sounded very nonchalant as you both stepped inside.

You chuckled and grabbed two small cups, handing one to him. "Well thank you for listening."

While you happily piled on toppings, Tsukishima simply stuck with just vanilla. He looked disturbingly at your cup. "That's so overly sweet."

"That's so overly plain." You got to the front and took out your wallet, but by the time you got out your money he had beaten you in paying. "You're being extra nice to me today."

He looked away. "Is that a problem?"

"Nope. I'm just curious about the reason why."

"Grab your cup, there's a line." You nodded and decided to just let him ignore the question. When you turned around you flinched, staring at Kuroo, Bokuto and the other four seated in the shop. You nudged your tall friend and heard him sigh when he himself turned around. "C'mon."

You both went around to the back of the building and sat on the ground together. "Thank you for this."

"Since you helped me with my arms yesterday, I figured I should repay you." It was a white lie, one that he didn't think would hurt your feelings a bit.

"Oh." Your face went blank as you stared into your cup. "I wonder if anyone would do this for me if there was no reason to."

You continued to eat your gift as he looked at you with an almost offended expression. He was being nice to you, and you fantasize about romances with other people?

He heard you sigh. You then looked at him and smiled. "Hey Tsukki, can I do something?"

"What?"

"I wanna see how you look without your glasses."

He gave you a dirty look. "Why?"

"Just cause. Please?" You grinned and scooted closer to him.

He stared at you for a second. "I guess that's okay."

You grinned and quickly set down your cup, shifting your body towards him. Your faces were inches apart as it was, but you ignored that fact, curiosity taking over your rationality. Tsukishima's eyes fluttered shut for a moment as you took them off.

"Wow." Was all you said, in a lighthearted tone.

He furrowed his eyebrows. Since you were at such a close proximity to him, he could see your smile and face clearly, though everything else was blurry. "What?"

"You're still just as handsome without the glasses."

You couldn't tell if it was the close proximity, or the sugar, or his kindness today, or that fact that he was hot without his glasses, but you leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. You both stayed in silence for a few seconds, and the lack of a response from him caused embarrassment and anxiety to creep up.

"I'm sorry! I should've known you didn't feel the same way and—"

He grabbed your cheek and kissed you back passionately. You put your arms around his neck and held onto his glasses. You had to pull back to catch your breath as Tsukishima stared at you. He resisted the urge to chuckle at your dorky smile. "You taste sweet."

"You taste like vanilla." You put the glasses back on him, Tsukishima giving you a small smile as you put your hands back around his neck. "So would this be like our first date?"

He rolled his eyes before smirking. "Of course not. Our first date isn't going to have any idiots trying to spy on us, and it won't be on the ground behind a building. You should take the start of our relationship more seriously."

You giggled, pressing a little peck to his nose. "I'm sorry. I'm kinda new at having a relationship, so I guess I'm just gonna have to blindly follow your lead."

You chuckled at your own joke as your partner brought you into another passionate kiss.

---

Author's Note: I'm sorry if I wrote Kuroo, Bokuto and Akaashi terribly. Idk I love all three of them and my writing is kinda trash