#this only has 8k notes? wow

[jensthwa]

show & tell (SMG x reader).

part of the love's an uncharted path universe ★.

SUMMARY:

You have known Mingi since you both were fourteen. You’ve been by his side through thick and thin and you would do anything for him, really, considering he’s your other half. When he has an unfortunate bed experience and asks for your help and you say yes, he starts considering that, maybe, you’re just the best friend a guy like him can have.

PAIRING: best friend!mingi x afab reader.

GENRE: childhood best friends to ?

WORD COUNT: 8k.

WARNINGS: SMUT ☽ (MINORS DNI) attempt !!! at comedy, wooyoung being a little shit, hwa being the voice of reason, sex talk, pet names (love and also dude and bro but in a sweet way), mingi scaring the sense out of you, descriptions of female anatomy, kissing, dirty talk (sort of), teasing, a little bit of voyeurism, fingering, squirting, almost getting caught, unresolved feelings.

NOTES: had to do a lot of research for this one, so i figured nothing better to post as my first fic here! this is 100% self indulgent, as all fics should be, and i think i've re-read it so many times that if you find a typo or something that just doesn't make sense, you can blame it on english not being my first language i guess lmao. i hope you enjoy it and if you do feel free to send to my askbox/reblog/type in any feedback or thoughts! <3

POSTED: july 18th 2024.

masterlist. / part two.

“Delete her number right now!” 

“She's such a bitch for saying that to you…” 

“And over text too? Wow.” 

“Yeah, no, I didn't like her from the start.” 

Wooyoung’s living room comes to life once again that morning, voices echoing and insults flying out, all towards the girl Mingi’s seeing. 

Was seeing. You're sure she's out of his usual rotation with the lovely shit show she just caused. 

You stay silent, your eyes fixed on your best friend's expression, on his red cheeks and apologetic eyes because everyone told him that girl was bad news. 

He should've listened to you when you told him you liked her friend better. She was a sweet girl, clearly had a thing for Mingi. 

Unfortunately, Mingi has a type. And that type always ends up breaking his spirit one way or another. 

But you stay silent, letting your friends have their little rants about how much of a bitch she is for hurting Mingi's ego like that, until he covers up his face with his hands and lets out a frustrated whine. 

“That's enough, everyone. I think he got it.” You smile a little and everyone turns to you, Yunho’s chest heaving and everything but Seonghwa (who also kept his mouth shut all this time) interferes before anyone else has the chance to start again.

“You know you shouldn't feel ashamed for that, right?” he asks Mingi, who slowly lowers his hands to his lap and looks at you for a brief second. You nod, confirming what Hwa says “No one is born knowing everything and she shouldn't expect you to know how to make a girl squirt.” 

“Jesus Christ,” Mingi whines again, closing his eyes “Don't say it like that.” 

“How else should I say it?” Seonghwa is confused but he laughs a little bit and turns to you. 

Being the only girl in the room, you think everyone it's expecting you to pick your friend up and join them in their insults but you can't (for Mingi’s sake). Instead, you let out a sigh “I mean, it's hard to even make it happen on your own without any help, Mingi. I don't know what the fuck she's on but…” shrugging, you extend your arm to pat him in the shoulder two times “Hwa’s right.” 

“So you do know?” 

“Woo—” Hongjoong reprimands right away and you turn to Wooyoung, confused.

“Huh?” 

“You said that it's hard making it happen,” he explains, smiling because he just found a new target for the next few days “So you must know.” 

Talking about sex with them was never difficult, it didn't make you uncomfortable whatsoever but you know what Woo is doing. 

You look down at Mingi before answering though and his eyes are glued to the carpet, begging for the topic of his unfortunate encounter with that bitch to die on everyone's tongue. 

So you take mercy on him. 

“Oh. I mean… Yeah.” You shrug once again, leaning back against the cushions on the couch while Wooyoung claps like he just heard the most hilarious joke ever. 

“You truly are amazing.” 

Rolling your eyes, you get up from your comfy seat “Sure. But it took a lot of practice and the whole ordeal was frustrating for me, so, again, I don't know what the fuck she was on,” you say again, smiling down at Mingi before taking a few steps towards the door “It's noon already, by the way.” 

“Shit.” Woo gets up quickly from his spot on the floor and everyone else follows suit. 

“Alright, everyone out! We have a midterm to cheat on.” San calls out and everyone takes it as their sign to actually leave (not just hang around the apartment) and continue with their days. 

This reunion was a little impromptu, just because Wooyoung texted everyone begging to come over and hang out with him and San before their online philosophy midterm. 

“And by that he means that you need to stay,” Wooyoung hugs Seonghwa hard, almost begging him with his eyes “We didn't study… Don't look at me like that! Please?” 

“I'm not doing your fucking midterm for you!”

You chuckle, leaning on the door and waiting for your ride home to get his shoes on. When you look down at him again, Mingi mouths a thank you and you blow him a kiss. 

When you get downstairs, you swear you still hear Wooyoung begging his senior to take the test for him. 

Everyone is quiet in the car. You can tell they're tired from exams and life in general, so you don't press them with questions and just let the music play in the background while you look out the passenger window and, eventually, at Mingi. 

His grip on the steering wheel lets you know he's a little more affected than he let on back there. But, again, you say nothing. 

You know better than to pressure him into telling you his feelings. 

Mingi and you have been friends forever. He lived a few houses down from yours, becoming your first friend when you moved to the city. You both were fourteen when it happened, so you've known him long enough to know what happens when he gets his heart broken. 

Not that Mingi loved that girl or anything, but he never really took embarrassment well. He didn't when the first girl he liked rejected him in front of the whole ninth grade class and he didn't when his pants ripped in the middle of the stage while performing a routine with his dance team on senior year. 

You stood by his side every single time and every single time he waited to sit down and let everything out, collect his feelings and talk to you through his frustrations. You really loved that about him, because he never said anything he regretted just because he was upset at the moment. 

Maybe that's why you two have been friends for so long. Opposites attract, or whatever your mother told you one time. 

In reality, you think it's because you two complement each other well. 

He knows when to speak his mind and you're kind of impulsive, heart on your sleeve and sharp tongue ready to defend your and your loved ones honor if needed. 

That's why it takes a lot of strength for you to not pull up that girl's number from his phone and give her a piece of your mind. 

One by one, you drop your friends off in different parts of the city and when it's time to go into your own house, you circle the car and Mingi rolls his window down.

He reads the look you give him a little too well, so he opens his mouth to stop you but you shake your head. 

“Call me, come over or just let me know if you need anything,” you start before he says anything “If you need me to beat her up, I can do that too.” 

He huffs out a laugh “You don't even know how to fight, love.”

You sigh at the nickname, he's been using it since the time you told him you had a crush on his friend, way back in highschool, and that you were positive you were going to get together and he would call you love because that's what good boyfriend's do. 

Turns out, you weren't exactly his friend's type. Neither were the other girls in your school. 

“I don't give a shit, I'll do it,” You two smile to each other fondly for a few seconds and then you tap the top of the car “Thanks for the ride, dude.” 

“You’re welcome, bro.” He rolls his eyes, annoyed because he hates when you call him that, but waits for you to get inside either way. 

And in the solitude of your room, you wait. 

You distract yourself with papers that are due in a few days, you start studying for your finals even though they're months away and you even go downstairs to say goodbye to your parents when they leave for a fancy dinner with their colleagues before you hear your phone ring. 

Mingi's FaceTime comes right on time, because you were getting really anxious from the radio silence on his end. 

“I have a small query for you.” He puts on an accent that makes you grimace immediately and he laughs at you. 

“Ew. Never do that ever again,” you beg, going back upstairs to your room “Go ahead.” 

“How do you do it?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“How the fuck do you make yourself squirt, love?” 

Oh. 

Definitely not the conversation you were hoping to have with him. 

It catches you off guard and you stammer your response “Um… You— I mean, it's not really a thing I can explain.” 

“You have such a way with words, though.” 

You stare at him through the screen, annoyed, and he just laughs again “Don't make me come over and beat you up.” 

“Alright, alright,” his giggling dies out and you distract yourself from the heat you feel creeping over your cheeks while putting away your statistics prep for the quiz you have next week. There's a bit of silence and then you hear him sigh “I do really want to know, though.” 

“If you're asking me this to then go over to her house and prove her wrong, I'm not telling you shit.” 

“No! No, that's not it at all,” he defends himself quickly when you turn your head to the camera, scowl in your face “When she asked me to do it, I really did try to make her, you know…” 

“You said squirt so freely a minute ago, Mingi,” you tease, smiling, but at his expression, you give in “What exactly did you do?” 

“I tried to, you know, do it like they do it in the movies,” he demonstrates his point with his free hand, his middle and ring finger down on his sheets, pressing and moving side to side “And she was enjoying it and she came, but nothing really… came out.” 

“Wow, first of all: you make her come and she has the nerve to give you shit over text? I hate her,” you shake your head, disappointment written all over your face “and second of all, that was a terrible mistake.” 

“What? Going like this?” He does it again and you roll your eyes, laughing a second later. 

“No, dude, trying to porno your way into making her squirt.” 

“Oh.” His movements on the sheets slow down and you grimace again. 

“Please stop doing that,” you beg and he snaps out of his thoughts to look at you through the screen. You take your phone and move to the bed, resting your head against the pillows with a huff. 

You ponder for a moment. You're sure telling him what he wants to hear it's not really a threat to your friendship, but it's also something that's very personal and intimate. You can talk about sex with Mingi and the other guys, sure, what doesn't mean you tell them about your sex life. 

Maybe that's why Wooyoung was so excited earlier today, because you spilled something that involves you directly and not something vague and general like you usually do. 

“Would it give you peace of mind if I explained it to you?” You ask, your voice barely a whisper as you sit straight on the bed. 

Your best friend takes what feels like a lifetime to respond and, when does, it's in a hushed tone as well “Please.” 

You groan and you comply either way, trying to find the right words to even start “Okay, I'm going to be very technical about this.” 

“I wouldn't expect anything else from you.” 

His teasing tone makes you glare at him for a few seconds before dismissing it with a click of your tongue “The very first thing you need to make sure happens, is that you wash your hands—” 

“Yes, Y/N, I'm not a virgin,” he huffs this time, annoyed “I know all of that, just skip to the part where I make her squirt.” 

“Jesus, fine! I also want to clarify that this works on me and I'm not really sure if it'll work on anyone else, alright?” he nods and you look away from the screen because you're not sure how to look him in the eyes “The first thing that I do— The first thing that you need to do,” you correct yourself quickly “Is make sure she's comfortable. And I mean, the space. Towels, water bottles… She needs to hydrate a lot.” 

“Hydrate… a… lot…” You turn your head to the screen and your jaw goes slack at what you see. 

“Are you writing this down?!” 

“I’m making sure I don't forget anything!” 

“You're unbelievable…” You let out under your breath and take a deep one before resuming the, apparently, class “Squirting can be confused as peeing and—” 

“Shit, hold on.” He interrupts and you hear his mom’s voice at the door, asking him something you can't really catch through the shitty airpod audio “It's just Y/N… I'm not really saying anything so I don't understand how I'm being too loud for— Yes ma'am.” 

You try not to laugh because he's literally being scolded right in front of you. 

Old habits die hard, and Mingi's mom loves to put him on the spot. 

Your laugh dies hard as well, because the next words, for some reason, make your heart drop to your ass. 

“She's telling me to either cut it out or go to your house, so… I'm coming over.” 

“Oh, I�� Hello?” Your lockscreen mocks you because the call literally ended before you could tell him to go and fuck himself “Shit.” 

You don't know why you panic, but you do. You tidy up the room, you change your pajamas into something more presentable and you try to remember what you were telling him before he pulls open your bedroom door. 

“Mingi! Fuck, you scared the shit out of me “ you're panting, hand over your chest. 

He’s also panting, like he runned to get to your house, but he looks dumbfounded by your reaction “Your mom literally gave me the spare keys in your presence.”  

When he steps closer, you notice he's wearing cologne and that his hair it's a little wet, still, so you figure he took a shower before calling you tonight. 

Which means he probably wanted to sleep everything off, like he usually does, but whatever this is made him call you. 

“Yeah! But I thought you— Nevermind.” He shrugs and gives your hair a kiss before he moves to sit at your desk, the same way he usually does when he steals your laptop and notes to complete his assignments for the few classes you share. 

God. Somehow, you wish he was doing just that so it brings back some sense of normalcy. Maybe then, your heart can calm down enough for you to understand why this specific situation has your senses going insane. 

You sit back down on your bed and try to get your heart back to its place in the meantime. 

“They're not home, right? I didn't see your dad’s car.” 

“Company dinner.” 

“Ah.” He nods and you both fall in uncomfortable silence. It shouldn't be awkward, but it kind of is, even if you laugh when he pulls out the notebook he was writing on from underneath his oversized shirt and steals a pen from your pencil case, it's still a little weird. 

You gulp. 

“So, squirting can be confused as peeing.” He recalls the last thing you said with a smile and then he turns to look at you for a second “Go on.” 

You're grateful he's taking notes all of the sudden. He's turned to you, so you have a clear view of his back and you can freely take a grounding breath before continuing “It can make you feel very uncomfortable if you think you're going to pee yourself and that's really why most women don't squirt in the first place.” 

“You sound like you're reading a textbook.” He confesses with a laugh. 

“I told you, I'm being very technical about this— Besides, I did my research when I was trying to…” you gulp again “You know.” 

“You said squirt so freely a minute ago.” Mingi teases you the same way you teased him earlier and you squint your eyes in return. 

“Very funny. Anyways… Yeah, when you feel that, you usually tense up. You need to relax before even making it happen,” he nods, writing it down quickly “I also read that, depending on the person, you can confuse the liquid with, like, usual… arousal? Yeah, arousal” you sound more confident the second time you say it, unsure on how to call it because you never really explained anything related to your vagina to anyone else. 

He turns to you, confused “So… If she doesn't squirt a lot, how can I tell if she did it?” 

“I guess you'll notice it in her reaction?” You shrug and then cough a little to try and get rid of the sudden lump on your throat “I mean, it's not my case, so I wouldn't… I wouldn't know that.” 

Mingi, because -you guess- hates you, just raises a brow and looks you over one time before turning back to his notes. 

“A-anyways,” you cough again “It's all in her g-spot. It happens because it gets stimulated and that g-spot it's like…” you, once again, try to find the ideal words to explain “It's like the upper wall of the vagina? No, no, that's not right,” you see him draw a line over what he clearly wrote down on the paper and you laugh, apologetic “It's more like the, uh… Like the front wall of it.” 

“Front wall?” 

“Y-yeah?” you offer, nervous and unsure “I mean… Ugh, let me explain again. Something that you need to take into account is that you can only find it if she's really, really turned on.” 

“O… kay.” 

“Sort of like when you get hard we, uh, also get hard. Just differently,” you notice he's no longer taking notes when you turn to him again and the room is suddenly very hot. 

The AC’s on, right? 

Fuck. 

“And apparently it only really shows up when you're really aroused. The g-spot, I mean,” Quickly, you're up from your bed and walking around it, fetching your water bottle and taking a big gulp of it with your eyes closed. 

Mingi clears his throat a second later. 

“So it feels hard to the touch or…” 

“Not really, um… It kinda feels like a berry.” 

He laughs “What?” 

“Yeah, it's kind of soft but it has a texture to it too. And we, uh… have this gland that fills up with the liquid— Kind of like a prostate gland! Yeah, that's what that article said,” putting even more distance within Mingi and you, you sit back on the bed, just on the other side “If you try to do it before it fills up, you end up with nothing. That's what frustrated me the whole time I was learning how to do it.” 

“You didn't drink enough water?” 

“No, no— It fills up when you get really turned on. And when I was trying, I was trying way too hard and didn't, uh… I didn't do a lot of foreplay before trying, s-so.” You nod, finishing the explanation in a softer voice. 

Your cheeks feel hot and you swear your upper lip is sweating a bit. Why would you even say that? 

“Y-you didn't touch yourself enough or…?” 

“Exactly, I didn't, I just… Tried t-to stimulate it. Wasn't even wet enough so I used, uh, lube.” 

“Oh… Lube. Sure, okay.” He nods again, and then moves his hand over his face, looking away for a second “And then?” 

“I'm not really sure how to… Give me a second.”

What were you even telling him before exposing yourself like that? Before the tension in the room skyrocketed in a suffocating way? You're not sure. 

Oh, foreplay. Okay, what's next? 

“Fingering,” you say out loud when you remember and at the sudden word Mingi turns to you, eyes wide and you stumble over your words yet again “Y-you need to finger her to stimulate the g-spot, duh.” 

“Don't duh me, Y/N, I'm learning!” 

“Sorry!” 

“Okay! Now what do I do when… fingering.” 

That makes you frown. You're not really sure what to tell him next. So you look straight ahead and, unintentionally, move your ring and middle finger the way you do when you're touching yourself. 

In the silence of the room, you audibly hear Mingi’s breath hitching and that draws you back to reality. 

When you look at him, his eyes are solely focused on your fingers. 

“I don't really know how to explain this next part.” You sound apologetic, your lips tensing into a straight line. 

A bit passes. 

And then another one and another one where Mingi looks at you with a weird, foreign expression on his face. 

So you open your mouth to apologize to him, but he beats you to it. 

“Then show me.” 

You swear you never even heard him sound like that before. Or maybe you have, the tone of voice similar to when he just wakes up, low, grouchy, as if his throat might be dry. 

It just never affected you this way. 

“W-what?” you blink hard, a few times, trying to focus on whatever the hell is going on. 

“Show me how you do it… I-if you want to.” 

“Mingi!” 

“I just— Look, you don't have to,” he says right away “If you don't want to, you can forget I ever asked but I'm so… curious”, he says, getting up from your desk chair and planting his knee into the bed “And I'm also really butthurt over what happened. I want to learn but I don't really have anyone else to ask.” 

“What about, uh… Minseo! Yeah, what about her?” you offer quickly, also getting up. 

“San's ex?!” 

“I don't know any other woman that you also know, Mingi!” 

He gulps and breathes heavily, gathering his words, his thoughts, just like he always does and you remember: This is Mingi. Your Mingi. The Mingi you've known for years and care about more than anything. 

“I'm asking you because I trust you,” he says, looking you over once again “And because if I fail, you're not… going to make fun of me for it.”

There it is. 

You soften at that and he seems to relax at your reaction. His demeanor lets you know he's not just saying that because he wants to see you touch yourself, he's being honest. 

So you decide to be honest, as well. In a whisper, because your voice will tremble and give away how strongly you feel about his request. 

“I've never done it in front of anyone before.” 

“So no one has ever make you—” 

“No,” you confirm before he even gets it out and you sigh “I never ask for it and I haven't really… I've only slept with—” 

“Hangyeol.” He nods and scrunches his nose in disgust at the memory of your highschool boyfriend. They never really got along and it was a shame, because Han was a great guy, he just wasn't the one for you. 

“Mingi,” you walk over to him and he straightens up his spine “This could really… I mean, there's no getting rid of me in this lifetime, buddy,” reminding him makes him smile and you do as well, nervous, your body on high alert “But this could mess us up.” You finish in a whisper. 

“I'm not letting that happen.” He says back, eyes scanning your face before zeroing on your eyes “There's no getting rid of me either, love.” 

That nickname is going to be the death of you, you're sure. It makes you suck in air you very much need at this moment. 

Fuck it. 

“I'll… get the towels, then.” You smile a little even though your cheeks are burning and you feel a little dizzy while holding his gaze, but you don't back down. 

Before you move, though, he stops you with his hand holding your waist “I know where they are. Stay here.” 

You could literally melt right now. And you know it's a short trip to the downstairs hallway closet from your room, so you make sure you strip your duvet before things get messy. 

You should go to the bathroom, too, to clean yourself up a bit before Mingi finds out what you find out when you sit on your bed. 

You're so wet. 

And it's so fucking embarrassing, because you're not supposed to feel this way for him, for this.

Because, if anything, this is clearly just an educational experience.

And if Mingi’s excited look when he re-enters your bedroom tells you otherwise, you're choosing to ignore it for the clearly educational experience’s sake. 

“These will do?” 

You take the two mismatched towels and place them on the bed right away, not even looking at him. 

“Yep.” 

You think he nods but you're not sure, you just caught a glimpse of him moving towards your desk while you pretend to fix the towels in the bed to perfection. 

“Okay, so… You need to, uh, be comfy and shit. Drink water, you just did that a few minutes ago…” when you turn to him, he's reading his notes like he's actually about to conduct an experiment and you chuckle before shaking your head “The… The foreplay part should be next, right?” 

“Right…” you drag out, biting the inside of your cheek before he looks back at you. 

“You look really tense, Y/N,” he deadpans, looking down at his notes again “You need to relax so it can happen, right?” 

“You're about to see me touch myself and you think I can relax?” 

“Oh,” he frowns, immediately and then blinks a few times to refocus, you think “I'm not the one doing it?” 

“Uh… Yes? Later? I thought you wanted to see me first, y-you… You asked me to show you…” 

You can feel him think, the gears on his brain twisting and you think he's going to backpedal at any second because he's not really saying anything. Then you see it, the moment the image crosses his mind. 

And the next second you have him in front of you, towering over your form and then he's not.

Getting on his knees, he tentatively places a hand on your knee and parts your legs so you can make room for him to touch the end of the mattress with his chest and raise his chin just enough to make you think he's asking you to kiss him.

Oh God, you want to kiss him. 

His voice is a sweet murmur when he speaks again “Show me how to get you there, love,” he sounds like he's pleading, like he's begging you to instruct him and your breath catches when he moves his hand up your thigh “What do you like?” 

Your mouth moves before you can even think “Kiss me.” 

You don't even notice you're leaning forward until his breath fans against your chin and he tilts his head even more so that your noses touch. 

“How do you like being kissed?” 

You breathe out a laugh, a little annoyed by his constant questioning “Figure it out, Mingi.” And then the last thing you see is his smirk before his mouth presses against yours. 

It's not what you expect. If anything, you expected him to take the lead. Han used to do so, all the guys you've ever kissed did it as well. You don't really know why his patience surprises you, but it does and if your heart could race even more, it would. 

Because he waits for your guidance, waits for you to grab his shirt and jank him closer, waits for you to sigh against him and then returns the gesture when he feels your fingers move upwards and tangle in his dark hair. 

His mouth is complying to yours, his tongue is exploring it and wetting your lips in the process and you've never felt this good with anyone before. 

That's something you'll need to unpack later, but your brain disconnects when your best friend lets out a noise the second his hands touch your waist under your shirt and you forget, for a split second, that the point of this is to have you on your back pleasing yourself for him to learn. 

Because you want nothing more than to hear him make that noise again. 

The kisses grow needy and so do you when he trails a path with his wet lips from your chin to your neck and the next thing you know is that your back is against the towels you laid down before and his mouth is kissing the valley of your breasts over the cotton of your shirt. 

You look down and it takes a second for him to feel you staring before he looks up at you “Should we take this off?” 

Your voice gives away how gone you are when you reply a simple yes and your shirt is on the floor the next instant. 

Now, you're sure this is not the first time Mingi has seen you in your underwear. You both have gone swimming before and he has walked into your room a million times while you're getting ready. You're even sure he's seen you walk out from your bathroom in this specific bra before… But he's staring at you like it's the first time he's been able to trace the way your breasts spill a little bit over the fabric of this old bra you decided to wear today, like it's the first time he's allowed himself to enjoy it. 

Like it's the first time he's allowing himself to feel any sort of attraction for you. 

“Fuck,” you whisper, shallow breath hitting his cheek when he returns his mouth to your jaw “Let me… Come here.” 

You scoot up until your head rests against your pillows and he follows, resting his body weight on his side and chasing your mouth when you turn your face to him. 

You should speed this up. There's no way you're not going to feel like shit if tomorrow you wake up and remember you're letting yourself enjoy this more than you should. 

There’s no reason for you to lose your breath when his fingertips trace softly the skin under your breasts or for your legs to grant him access so quickly when they reach your belly and bypass every other part of your body before going straight in between them. 

And he notices it too. 

“I don't know why I asked you so many questions before,” he starts, turning his hand so that he back of it and his nails start caressing the inside of your thighs through your sweatpants “I know what you like. I pay attention to you whenever we're talking about sex with the guys.” 

You frown, about to remind him that you never speak directly about your own experiences but he continues his ministrations, giving your other thigh attention “I usually watch you closely in case any of it makes you uncomfortable, but I notice your reactions when they speak about something that you like.” 

Oh. Heart on your sleeve, your biggest flaw. 

“Like that one time Woo was going on and on about marking and you couldn't stop fidgeting on your seat…” his nose traces your jaw softly before his teeth take the skin underneath it and you gasp just enough to prove him right “Or that time Yunho said he hated teasing because he's an impatient little shit” he chuckles, his index finding the spot next to your mound and going down slowly until his knuckle graces the crevice where your leg and your hip connect “and you defended it until we had to stop you guys from yelling each other over it…” 

Your breath shakes and your eyes close at the sensation “Mingi…” 

“Am I wrong?” 

You shake your head no and you can all but hear him smile when he speaks again. 

“Of course I'm not.” 

You open your eyes and expect him to look at you the way he does when you're unable to defend yourself against his quips, but he's not. His eyes are following his own actions and his bottom lip is pulled by his teeth when he takes the fabric of your sweatpants and pulls it up, enough to give you some friction where you need it the most. 

“Can I take this off?” 

“Fuck, y-yes.” 

Joining your shirt on the ground, you're left only in your underwear while Mingi is fully clothed and it bothers you out of nowhere. 

“You're so wet already…” he observes and you blush, puffing some air and covering your eyes with your hand. He just laughs “That's a good thing, it means that I'm doing okay.” 

He's doing more than okay. Damn all the experience he has and the way he reads you so well. 

But his sweet tone gives you some clarity and you support your weight on your hand to fix your position on the bed. 

“Alright, let's… resume the lesson before my parents get home.” 

“They probably won't for now. The company dinners last until like… two in the morning, usually, right?” 

“That's when they decide to go out for drinks.” 

“Your mom always wants to go out for drinks.” 

“Let's not talk about my mom right now!” you beg and he laughs again, making you chuckle alongside him and you're glad he's talking all of this -the kissing, the teasing, the sweet-talk and the wet patch on your underwear- so well. 

The awkwardness from before dissipated the moment he got on his knees in front of you and all that followed was this lovely tension you're dying to keep between the two of you forever even though you shouldn't. 

“Show me, love,” he pleads and you sigh, his mouth finding your cheek for a quick second, encouraging you “And then you can show me how to make you feel good, too.” 

You stare at him for a few seconds “Damn, you're good,” he shakes his head and you smile, getting rid of your underwear and pushing the quick moment of embarrassment being bare with him in the room gives you “Remember that this is what works for me, okay?” 

He nods and then props himself up so he can see it better. 

You take a second before your fingers dive into your wet folds and, when you do, you gasp at the feeling. 

You've never been more wet just for kissing and teasing before. What the fuck. 

You do what you usually do when you're alone for a while and try to contain yourself from moaning because Mingi's eyes keep moving from your fingers to your face. Then, you remember you should be talking him through it, as well. 

“You see how I'm building it up?” you start, chest heaving and he hums as his reply “I'm not trying to make myself come but I'm kinda just… edging myself a little bit.” 

“Edging,” he repeats and then hisses when he sees your thumb pressing into your clit just how you like it, making you sigh heavily “I know all about that, that's good.” 

“Y-you do?” 

“You'll be surprised,” he smiles, proud of himself. 

“Okay,” you continue, taking a deep breath “Then you know about prepping, too,” he nods “So, a finger first…” you say, swallowing hard when your middle finger makes its way into your cavity without much effort. 

Dragging back and forth for a minute or so, you're incapable of containing yourself any longer. Air leaves your mouth in pants and your eyes close when you drag the pad of your finger upwards, locating your g-spot with ease because you're used to it.

“And then, two fingers.” 

“Mhm.” 

“Look at the position of my hand. I read that these two fingers work the best because they're longer than the rest, although…” you look at Mingi's hand over your belly. You didn't even notice before this that he was touching you, but he is and his thumb is tracing a pattern that both relaxes you and sends shivers down your spine “I'm sure that it won't be a problem for you, huh?” 

He sends a cocky smirk your way and you would've smacked him if you weren't so… preoccupied. 

Pressing your precious spot and then dragging back and forward, you stop the movements altogether. It felt too good, way more than good and it's a different sensation of what you're used to. 

And it's all because of him. 

You look at his side profile, his eager eyes commiting to memory what you're doing to yourself, probably taking mental notes now that his notebook is long forgotten over at your desk and… 

He deserves this. He deserves to be the one to have this, just tonight. 

You hate to leave what feels like it's about to be your best orgasm in the hands of someone who's just learning, yet alone a man.

But Mingi is not just any man. 

“Mingi,” you call and his curious eyes leave your heat a second later “your turn.” 

“Did you… Did it happen? I didn't see anythi—” 

“No,” you interrupt him, your fingers leaving you and you turn to him, your clean hand finding his face “show me what you learned.” 

His mouth parts, but you have a newfound confidence and a glint in your eyes that is new, so nothing comes out. 

“Prove that bitch wrong.” 

That seems to do it. 

His eyes go from being confused to spark with determination and want and electricity runs through you again because he seems so relieved he gets to touch you sooner than expected. 

Shyness and nervousness buried six feet under, you both smile to each other before you feel him. 

His fingers gathering your wetness, his thumb finding your clit with ease and expertise. 

“Wettest pussy I've ever touched.” You can tell he's a little lost in the heat of the moment but it's okay. So are you. 

Fuck. 

It's been way too long since someone else touched you this way, so you all but melt at the circles he draws on your clit. He paid close attention before, because he's touching you just the way you like it. 

“That feels so good…” 

“Yeah?” he asks, dark eyes finding yours before a particular stroke forces you to close them. And then he gathers enough slick to insert his ring finger inside and you can't help the moan that slips past your lips. 

You lift your hand to cover your mouth, but Mingi clicks his tongue in feign disappointment “I want to hear if I'm making you feel good, love. Don't hold back on me just because this is unconventional.” 

The worries die altogether with that. 

And now that you have free reign to stop containing yourself, you don't know how to stop. 

It's not long before his middle joins his other finger but he doesn't go for it right away. He fucks you slowly, allowing you to get used to the unfamiliar stretch of his way longer, way thicker digits until they slide in and out with little effort. 

His pace picks up after what feels like ages and your hand fists his shirt for the second time tonight, nodding and moaning in encouragement. 

“Deeper,” you instruct “curl them upwards and go deeper, you'll feel it then.” 

He obeys immediately, his chest heaving and his mouth parting in delight when he finds it. The pad of his finger presses down on it tentatively and your grasp on his shirt hardens.

“Is that it?” you nod and he does it again, which earns another moan “What do I do now?” 

Before you completely get lost in the feeling, you decide to drop the step by step bullshit aside and give him the full instruction in hopes that he'll remember it all without fucking up: “What works for me is pressing… Fuck, yeah, just like that a-and then…” you take deep breath “Just a little harder… Yeah, then rub it in a circular motion while maintaining that same pressure… Fuck, Mingi!” 

He's a little too good at following instructions, because he touches you like he's been doing this forever and soon you feel the familiar swell, the usual buildup of it all and he's taking you over the age like it's nothing. 

You forget how to speak, you forget how to tell him what he needs to do next and so, when you finally explode, you take his wrist and place his two fingers over your clit. 

When you move them side by side, he lets out a fascinated giggle but knows exactly what to do. 

A second later, your release is coating your thighs and the towels underneath you and you don't register anything else because your ears are ringing. 

Did you lose consciousness for a second? It feels like you did. 

That was the best fucking orgasm you've ever felt in your entire life. 

And when you come back down, you only register the sound of your breathing and plump lips kissing your face, his fingers stopping their pace once he realizes you're done with it. 

Opening your eyes, you stare at your popcorn ceiling for a second. Then, you look at Mingi who's already staring at you with a what the fuck just happened expression. 

It makes you laugh. Softly at the beginning, post-orgasm bliss takes over but then Mingi laughs too and your whole chest swells with inexplicable pride. 

You don't think twice before kissing him again. When you realize you did it, you pull back and blink at him like he didn't make you see stars three seconds ago. 

“That was…” his eyes do the thing he usually does. You never notice it until now, but he scans your face so frequently you've grown used to it, but now… It feels different. His teeth nip his bottom lip and he shakes his head before speaking “Come here, love.” 

And then he's kissing you again, slow, intimate, beyond the stupid lesson you just taught him. 

But you don't mind it one bit. 

You sit up, getting on your knees on the bed and basically forcing him to do the same. Ignoring the gross sensation of the wet towel underneath you, you pull him further into you until his chest presses against yours, until his hands roam your body and settle on your waist, securing the embrace. 

This time, when you pull away, there's this whole unspoken new thing between you. 

“That was…?” you press, smiling a bit, pulling both you and him back to reality. 

Right now, with you half naked and his hard-on pressing on your belly, it's not the time to discuss your feelings. 

“Possibly the coolest thing I've seen,” he starts, giggling when you roll your eyes “and the hottest thing I've seen, too,” you shrug, dismissing his stare because it's making you feel hot all over your body, again “and I'm really, really grateful you said yes, love.” 

The soft tone he uses to say the last bit relaxes you and you nod, deciding it's not the time to tell him you never even came like that on your own. 

Instead, you decide to grasp this intimate moment and extend it as much as you can. You can see Mingi is not expecting it when you reach his sweatpants and let your shaky thumb trace the outline of his cock. 

Closing his eyes, he lets out a pleased sigh before he grabs you by the back of your neck and rests his forehead against yours. 

“This is supposed to be purely educational, Y/N” 

“Is that what you want it to be?” you softly ask, pulling your hand away but then his hips buck and chase after your touch, making you smile despite the emotions swelling in your chest “Let me help you… Please…” 

“Fuck, don't beg me, love.” 

“Don't make me beg, then.” 

What the fuck are you even doing? 

“Y/N, I—” he stops suddenly and you're too lost in the moment to notice why. 

But then the sound of keys and a door closing downstairs scares the fuck out of you and you push Mingi away without thinking it through. 

He lands with a thud on your bedroom floor, next to your discarded clothes. 

“What the fuck, Y/N?” he whispers-shouts, both shocked and offended, but you're getting off your bed and picking up your clothes and the soaked towels so you don't really care about his feelings right now. 

“Bathroom. Now.” 

You're so blessed for having your bedroom right next to the upstairs bathroom. And so blessed that it is your bathroom and you don't have to share it. You’ll get on your knees and thank your gods afterwards, but right now you can only think one thing.

Don't get caught. 

Lord knows you'll never hear the end of it if Mingi walks out of here with a hard-on. Your dad will kill him, your mom will cheer because she loves the idea of you and Mingi together and you'll probably pack your bags and move away if it happens. 

When you lock the door behind you and make a quick show of putting your underwear and pants back on, you hear Mingi chuckle. 

“We can always tell them we're having a sleepover, Y/N, you didn't have to karate kick me off the damn bed!” 

“Hush!” But he just keeps giggling at your very obvious flustered state.

You're about to rip him a new one when he takes two strides, backs you against the bathroom sink, and catches your lips in a quick, sweet kiss and all your worries dissolve just like that. 

“Guess they didn't go for drinks after all..” 

“You think?” cocking your head to the side, the smile on your lips can't be fought at this point. 

He returns it and leans in for another kiss, longer this time and you sigh against his mouth before pulling away because you really, really shouldn't be doing this right now. 

You hear your mother calling your name and then footsteps up the stairs. A murmured she must be sleeping and a hum from your father before they pass the bathroom door. You truly only relax when you hear their door closing at the end of the hallway. 

“Okay, we're safe now.” 

“When were we ever not safe?” 

“When I was half naked on my bed, Mingi!” 

He shakes his head with a smile and takes a step back. 

You clear your throat. 

“I really did want to help you out but—” 

“Raincheck?” he asks and at your hesitation to say yes, he continues “If you want to. If you don't, it's okay. We… We'll figure it out, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

He smiles again “Good, uh…” 

Mingi seems unsure on what to do next. Feeling the same, you decide the best thing to do is to get him out of here. 

Opening the bathroom door, you carefully peek into the hallway, taking his hand in yours and beckoning him to follow you down the stairs, trying to make as little noise as possible. 

“Shit, your shoes…” you whisper. 

“I don't think they noticed if they didn't barge into the bedroom to check on us like they usually do, love.” He returns, in the same tone. 

That does nothing to ease your mind, but he makes sure to put them on quickly and then grabs your shoulders, shaking you in a teasing manner. 

“Quit worrying, Y/N. I can feel you thinking.” 

Of course he does. There's no one, in this world, that knows you better than him. 

It makes your heart flutter and it shouldn't. But you're getting on your tippy toes and stealing a parting kiss before you think about it too much. 

It's irresponsible for you to do so, but Mingi grabs your waist and extends the duration of the kiss and suddenly you don't give a fuck about your parents or anyone else finding out about this… shift in your dynamic. 

“See you tomorrow?” he asks against your lips and you nod. 

“See you tomorrow.” 

And with that, he leaves. 

You lock the door and practically run to your room after. 

What the fuck have you done?

If you read all the way down here: THANK YOU SO MUCH. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated and since it’s an open ending (sort of), let me know if you want a second part! 

© jensthwa, 2024.

[agustdiv1ne]

telepathy (m) — cbg [TEASER]

OUT NOW! READ HERE!

pairing: choi beomgyu x fem!reader

genre: smut, strangers to ???, mind reader/telepathist!beomgyu, funeral home employee!beomgyu (it's for the plot ok??)

wc: tbd (projected to be around 7-8k)

synopsis: most people would abhor a packed subway car — but beomgyu, telepathist extraordinaire, relishes in it. with a career in the funeral business, he finds his morning commute to be the only thing that keeps him relatively sane. reading the mundane thoughts of mundane people maintains his tether to his humanity, but when he goes to read your mind...oh, things get a whole lot more interesting.

warnings: mdni!! 18+ only, there isn't much in this teaser, but here are the warnings for the rest of the fic so far: mentions of dead bodies, embalming, and funerals (though not very descriptive — it's only bc of gyu's profession), reader is a freak that listens to nsfw audios on her way to work!, gyu is a perv so it's a match made in heaven (hell?), explicit consent is given before anything happens bc consent is sexy <3, mind manipulation (he makes it feel like he's touching her), exhibitionism in a way...it will all make sense, trust 🙏

note: this is inspired by a p*rn audio LMAO,,, lmk if you'd like to be tagged via an ask, or just drop a comment below ^^

masterlist

☆ TEASER ☆

the rest of the weekend passes without fanfare, and monday returns to rear its ugly head once again. monday is beomgyu’s least favorite day of the week; it brings a raging headache from his 5 a.m. alarm, a bone-deep fatigue that lingers for the rest of the day. it brings grumpy commuters whose knees and elbows uncomfortably bump against his own. it brings people who think that he should give up his seat, and silently tell him so with narrowed eyes and furrowed eyebrows. how selfish, they all think whenever he actually bothers to read their thoughts. what a fucking dick, some of them even snarl within the so-called impenetrable walls of their minds, walls he so easily breaks down. he levels those ones with a half-awake glare, pupils gloomy and lifeless. internally, their uneasy reactions make him want to laugh, hysterically cackle in their faces because wow, is he really that scary? he shouldn’t be, but maybe the dark under eyes are doing something for him.

surprisingly, the subway car he frequents is less crowded than usual. not as many people stand in front of him, and he’s actually able to see directly across the car for the first time in a while. doors shut, and he’s left to look around at the regulars and the new patrons that often don’t show up again. they’re easily less interesting than the regulars. really, what can he say? the daily life updates satisfy his nosy tendencies. 

still, he hates mondays. mondays suck. mondays make him want to crawl into a hole and eventually join the bodies at his workplace. they bring out the worst in his mind. all they do is remind him of the neverending cycle that he has trapped himself in — wake up, work, go to sleep, and do it all over again the next day.

mondays bring a lot of things he fundamentally dislikes, but this particular monday also brings you. 

it’s split-second eye contact. nothing more, nothing less. your eyes grow wide, your lips parting just the slightest bit in surprise. though he has not invaded your mind (yet), he can already tell what you are thinking. fuck, he isn’t blind — he knows that he is handsome.

your eyes shoot downward, your head hanging low with your phone clenched between your fingers. one of his eyebrows raises while a small smirk plays on his lips — you’re new, and even better, you’re cute. his dark, seemingly bored gaze trails over to the earbuds nestled in your ears, then to your crossed legs. you glance up at him again, eyes blowing wide again as your thighs press together just enough for him to notice the movement. his own eyes narrow slightly, evaluating the sight. 

you seem...interesting. prim, proper, sitting in a modest-length skirt and a plain blouse and coat that paint you as an unassuming character, just another random person in this sardine can of a train car. yet there’s this glint in your eyes that tells him there is so, so much more to you than what meets the eye — that the innocent, put-together little front that you display to the world is a complete and utter lie. it’s intriguing. new patrons come and go from this particular subway car every day, but you and your fresh face have caught his interest — and so has your odd behavior. 

then, without warning, realization punches him square in the gut.

you were there the other night, with those girls at the bar. the one sitting at the end of the table with the small glass of water as you scrolled through your phone. the one who shot a piercing glare at him as you looked out for your inebriated friends. your current behavior is a far cry from the strong front he first encountered that night, small and oh-so meek and lacking the sharp, piercing edge to your gaze that initially piqued his interest in you. the change, for some reason, intrigues him more. what happened to that feisty glare, that confident air to your posture? he wants to know why you seem so meek, so he taps in to your mind and—

“you’re my dumb little slut, aren’t you? fuckin’ say it—”

beomgyu flinches in his seat, the door to your mind slamming shut as he sits there in shock. did he really just hear that? are you listening to fucking porn on the subway? what the fuck?

he’s never had this happen to him before. he’s accidentally stumbled upon the occasional horny thought before, sure, but listening to porn on the subway? that’s a new one. he decides to give you another glance; your lips are pressed together now, eyes pointed towards the floor as you further shrink into yourself. fuck, you’re so cute, but now he knows you’re also awfully perverted — and for some reason, he feels himself getting hard in his trousers at the thought of entering your mind again.

he should do something about this little development, shouldn't he?

again, if you would like to be tagged, shoot me an ask or comment down below!! and if you'd like to join my permanent taglist, please do so through this form!

© to agustdiv1ne. do not copy, repost, steal, and/or translate.

[royal-ruin]

other genshin fic recs here genshin fic recs by pairing here personal favorites are starred, by the way. everything is complete unless stated otherwise.

misc. genshin romantic fics

kujou sara / yoimiya

daylight star by Anonymous (~5k)

a hand around her vision / a hand around her throat

Yoimiya breaks into a prison. It begins there.

hu tao / yanfei

*plum blossoms in winter by arsonide (~15k)

“I just think she’s beautiful,” Hu Tao stated certainly.

“The most alluring flowers tend to have the deepest thorns, Hu Tao,” Zhongli warned, though his voice was still light.

Hu Tao wasn’t listening to him. She waved at him lightly, dispelling whatever lecture he had for her on his tongue. Yanfei was stunning, that much was true, and her grandfather had always told her to appreciate anything she found half as beautiful.

Or, Hu Tao thought that the flowers she threw up paled in comparison to the way Yanfei made her feel.

hanahaki au. one of the best genshin fics i’ve read

kojou sara / kokomi

*kin-mokusei (where it is sweeter) by daiicraaa (~10k)

In battle, you cannot hesitate. Sara knows this as well as she knows her own name, engrained into the fibers of her soul. But then, when the time is finally right to strike down her enemy, she hesitates, and Sangonomiya Kokomi smiles back at her.

She is beautiful.

Do not tell the Shogun; I am a traitor.

it’s so good. enemies to lovers.

amber / eula

but i can’t help, falling in love with you by doriangraysbitch (~5k)

“What do you mean?” Lisa asks, spinning around, face bewildered. “You and Amber aren’t dating?”

Eula clears her throat, feeling heat on her cheeks. She lowers her eyes to the floor so her blush won’t be so noticeable. “No,” she says. “We aren’t.”

There is such a long stretch of silence that Eula looks back up at Lisa in confusion and a little bit of challenge. “…Oh,” Lisa says finally. “I’m sorry, dear, I just assumed.”

And Eula would gladly leave that topic alone forever, but there’s something bothering her about how Lisa says it, how certain she was that she was right.

“Does everyone think that?” she asks, fighting to keep her voice level, even though her heart is racing and she feels slightly faint.

Lisa hesitates just long enough to confirm Eula’s fears.

“Oh, archons,” she says, absolutely horrified. “Oh, no.”

or, everyone thinks eula and amber are dating. gay panic ensues.

kamisato ayaka / kujou sara

*colour me by sambharsobs (~8k)

[It is symbolic. From the nine sips of sake to the political weight of their alliance, all of it is symbolic. And, perhaps most important of all, is the meaning behind Ayaka’s white wedding kimono.

She is a blank canvas, chaste and pure, for her future spouse to colour as she deems fit.

But Sara has not looked at her once since the ceremony began.]

OR: The Kujou Clan’s adopted daughter and Kamisato Clan’s second sibling are wed in a desperate attempt to salvage political images, and Ayaka does not know how to reach for Sara.

wow, just wow. i absolutely loved this fic.

albedo / venti

Of Wind and Chalk by sparklinglabyrinth (~15k)

Albedo suspects a certain bard is more than meets the eye. Numerous developments occur that only continue to fuel his suspicion until the truth is inevitably disclosed. (Or Albedo musing on multiple in game events related to Venti, Mondstadt and Durin)

arataki itto / gorou

bringing a bouquet to battle by wormkinnie (~7k)

Arataki Itto is a lot of things: Very strong, very fast, very handsome, cunning, charming, talented, good at fighting— hey, you’re getting all this, right?

He is not, however, that good with dogs (or guys who have the features of dogs. or guys at all).

[Excerpt from That’s Life Issue #107 (Note: For the anonymity of the asker and Ms. Hina, personal details may be removed or edited.)

Ms. Hina! How do I block my mind from someone?! When I talk to this person they seem to be finding my weaknesses! It makes my head feel very strange. This is bad! I can’t let my focus fail me, because then I will be bested in competition, and this is unthinkable. Reply soon. Your biggest fan.]

something a bit more lighthearted for a change.

Commission: Who Is Ms. Hina Dating? by underthethousandstars (~3k)

[“You want us to find out who Ms. Hina is dating?” Paimon cried, bringing Lumine back to reality.

“Why is this a commission?” Lumine asked, raising a brow in suspicion.

“Her fans have noticed a change in quality concerning her love advice and have come to the conclusion that she must be dating someone.”]

Lumine is commissioned to find out who Ms. Hina is dating.

diluc ragnvindr / zhongli | morax

*what cannot be said (will be wept) by muichirou (~15k; Warning: MCD)

[When he spotted red hair — much like flames, blaring and vibrant — amidst grassland, only punctuated by the lone glaze lilies, he felt intrigued. The human’s red locks were falling out of his dark hood, barely hidden, like a tempered storm.

It was bewitching.

Rex Lapis wondered what someone like him was doing in Liyue— someone as entrancing as him.]

(or: zhongli and diluc have met before, many moons ago.)

zhongli | morax / venti | barbatos

the anemo archon is dead (long live the anemo archon) by heavymoons (~6k)

The Tyrant of the Winds, Decarabian is no more. As the newly minted Anemo Archon, Barbatos wishes he had read the fine print before crossing paths with the implacable God of Contracts.

(In which, Venti accidentally trespasses, gets arrested, and tries to broker the grandest alliance in all of Teyvat, in that order.)

[“I owe you an apology,” is what Morax says, unexpectedly.

“An apology?” Venti parrots, his gaze unconsciously drifting down to his shackled hands and then to the thick bars on his cell. He wonders if the people of Liyue just have very strange ways of apologizing.]

*such impossible bliss by nyabatos (~2.5k)

[there’s a breath of warm air against his cheek, a huff of laughter, “you know, you don’t have to look at me like that.”

morax blinks. “like what?”

“like you’ve never seen a winged god before.”]

takes place when the original seven were alive.

diluc ragnvindr / venti | barbatos

pointing at the moon by ohwickedsoul (~2.5k)

[“Do you still love the crystalflies?” Venti asks, runs a finger around edge of his wine.

Diluc goes very still. “What?”

“They haunt your vines,” Venti says, smiles into his glass, soft and a little melancholic. “I thought you liked them?]

ganyu / keqing

*heartbeat of the world by Sephirron (~7k)

To Ganyu, a thousand years isn’t very long at all. She watches Liyue rise and fall, build and rebuild. But never in all her years has she met anyone like Keqing, the single mortal that didn’t believe in gods.

But Keqing cares about others, that much is clear. They stand worlds apart and Keqing barely looks her way. Ganyu is convinced she is the one human that Keqing didn’t care about. Her fingers brush against her horns. Or maybe, she is convinced that Keqing could never care for a god, even if it was human.

[lostheretics]

PLOT TWIST (4)

▸ chapter 4; the art of learning and overthinking

pt. 1 || pt. 2 || pt. 3 || pt. 4

✵ cast : jung wooyoung x fem!reader, kim hongjoong, lee juyeon, kim younghoon, ateez, mentioned oc and many kpop artists name or group

✵ genre : romance, marriage life, eventual angst, smut, mafia!au, non idol!au

✵ summary : there was a saying that learning is a lifelong process. what will you learn about the underworld, the first time you stepped into it? you might have what they call a beginner's luck, but will that be enough for the things you'll be facing soon?

✵ notes : 8k-ish. wow. thanks for waiting, to those whoever awaits i guess. i was thinking of making a taglist for this fic. taglist will be used for updates; ANY updates regarding PT. just drop ur @ in my askbox (here). also, PLS REBLOG.

WARNINGS BELOW CUT.

☒ warnings: smut... like a wholeass breeding kink i laid it all there, once more. marriage talk, maybe a swear word(s) here and there, do remind me if i missed anything

☒ i do not condone mafia acts nor any acts that goes against the law at all. everything mentioned are just purely fiction, made to entertain myself and fellow readers in this particular platforms.

☒ do not repost this on any other platform without my permission!

✓ reblogging, liking, and commenting this post in tumblr (through comment or askbox) are very much appreciated.

"what's happening?"

"i think they're fighting."

"over what?"

"dunno."

"guys, why are you standing like that?"

"like what?"

"like clearly, fucking eavesdropping. who—"

"—ssshh! they're at it again. can you hear what he said to her?"

"not a single word."

seven men stood in front of hongjoong's office with their ears flat against the door, hoping they could get a hint of anything that happened inside. however nothing was heard, no clear words exchanged between you and hongjoong got out of the door, courtesy of his soundproof room. that was besides from hongjoong's screams alongside your own. your two voices went against each other, each time getting louder and louder.

hongjoong was livid upon your actions before.

yet you stood your ground still. 

"—we just had this opportunity, y/n, and the one time, the one fucking time i trusted you to stand under the light, you fucking threw everything that we worked hard for away just like that!" he screamed, clearly driven by anger upon your actions back at the lee mansion. to the lee juyeon.

"i threw no one and nothing! i did what i was supposed to do, i was trying to save ateez!" you screamed back defending yourself.

to your words he almost laughed maniacally. ”save ateez? by putting us in jeopardy?”

closing your eyes, you sighed. the atmosphere was tense between you and hongjoong, and it was not something that you imagined would happen in the first months of officially being a part of ateez. as a part of ateez, of course it was your goal to make ateez better and powerful. yet hongjoong couldn’t seem to see it from your point of view.

exasperatedly, you sighed. ”have some trust in me. am i not a part of ateez?"

"precisely.” 

he pressed, before continuing. “because you're a part of ateez, y/n, that's precisely why you should be more careful! anything that's gonna happen to you, gonna happen to us and it's all on you. you risk not only your life or mine, but our brothers. your husband. our allies. everyone that worked under and with us, can't you see it?"

"did i not secure our place in the gala? on my first night introduced to the underworld?"

hongjoong was immediately silenced. on that note, you were right. you secured ateez’ place in the gala.

on a special note, that is.

“hongjoong?”

turning to juyeon, hongjoong stuttered his words out, “mr. lee, please forgive y/n’s boldness, she only worked in the shadow before a-and never ha-“

“make sure you all come to my gala. the whole week, i expect you all to be there. i’ll introduce you to some of my friends.” juyeon cut his words. looking back, hongjoong caught juyeon’s eyes wandering to the corner where he just had his conversations with you, but to no avail when he didn’t caught you in his line of sight.

juyeon drew a small smile which surprised hongjoong, before looking back to him, “she’s intriguing. i should have more time to know her, and i insist it.” he then straightened his hand out for hongjoong to take,

“i should hope to see ateez more in the future.”

“what did you two talk about?”

it was a question, but you know hongjoong would demand an answer from you.

a shadow brought into the light, and not even in one night, was able to reach a place even hongjoong has never reached before. a higher league. anyone in their right mind would question it the way hongjoong did. 

“what did he say to you?” you countered.

“don’t answer a question with another, and i asked first.” 

with the staring contest the both of you were having and hongjoong’s stubborness, you know you wouldn’t win against your captain. 

you sighed, “i just said something about admiring his father’s work, that he was a winner, then he just said i fascinate him and made sure i came to the gala. that’s all, i promise.” you explained.

“joong, i don’t know what else to say but i just wish you could see that i’m on your side. i want ateez to win, the way you want it. nothing else.”

silence took over as hongjoong’s thoughts done the same to his head. 

"okay." he sighed after a few moments. "but i'm warning you, y/n. no more bold moves that i don't know of. behave." he pressed. he moved towards his table and sat down. 

"you're dismissed."

and so you left the room.

it takes time. 

it takes time, was the sentence you say to yourself repeatedly on daily basis. ever since you got tangled with ateez, married to one of its member. ever since you knew hongjoong and worked your hardest for his trust. that it would take time for hongjoong to fully trust you. 

your intentions haven't faded still. 

midnight strikes. the kitchen was cold and empty. sitting on the island, the bourbon in your hand had melted the ice as you hold it, just staring at it blankly. you chugged it in one go and filled your cup once again. a sigh slipped through your lips unconsciously. 

were you too much? 

the events that happened the last weeks played in your mind, as you go through it one by one, moment by moment, correcting yourself in your mind. 

the first time hongjoong unofficially accepted you into ateez. 

babel. 

lee juyeon and the conversation you had. 

it most definitely was the unexpected outcome, how you crossed the boundary, how, weirdly enough, he was intrigued by you instead of angered by your statements. how you secured ateez's place in the gala all because of he insisted you'd be there. based on that thoughts alone, you couldn't help but wonder what will happen at the gala soon. 

and that man in the garden, with his piercing brown eyes. 

strikingly handsome man. 

it was quite an embarrassing scene, yet all through it he only showed his concerns. even after he picked you up and moved you to a quiet hall. even after you just said a quick thank you and hurriedly ran away from him, not wanting to cause another scene any further. 

you didn't get to know his name. 

not that you needed it, it was just for formality. he saved you, after all. 

raising your cup, you sipped your bourbon again. you were just reaching the bottle to pour another, when wooyoung's voice halted you. "how many have you had?" 

turning your head, you saw him standing near the arch with a disapproving look on his face. 

"five... this would've been the sixth," you answered truthfully, chuckling to ease the air. 

"you know i hate it when you drink. i don't want you to bring back that awful drinking habit of yours." he scowled. "i don't want you to get sick, baby. you know that, right?"

by bad habit, he might be referring to your habit of drinking those poisons like water. you'd drink when you're happy. when you're sad. when you got problems. for lunch, for dinner. any time you could drink you'd drink, and it had became a part of your life so much that you didn't think much of it. though you always stay sober instead of drunk. 

and wooyoung hated it so much he cut off all access to alcohol after the first few months of becoming your boyfriend. it was a weird feeling, the withdrawal you had. yet you weren't being fussy about it, only coming back to alcohol on certain occasion like parties, dinner, and now, just casually thinking of life on a slightly deeper level. 

you smiled, "you're worried. i understand." you put down your cup on the sink, and put away the bottle back on its rack. you sat back on the chair as wooyoung walked towards you. he positioned himself between your thighs. your hands instinctively circled his neck, as he caressed your thighs softly. a peck landed on your chin. 

"a penny for your thoughts?"

the dreading question left his lips. the one question which has no definite answer, at least for the night. too much thing going around in your head with little to no way to explain it. you shook your head, only answering to him with that smile from before. 

"was it hongjoong hyung? what did you guys talk about? he seemed mad." he urged still. 

"you asked as if it was bad and you were ready to land a punch on him."

"that's because i might."

chuckling, you circled your hands tightly around him, assuring him. "i'm okay. we're okay. he's just concerned and he voiced it all so well. as he's supposed to do, as our captain." you assured him, adding a peck on his cheek to secure your statement. "don't worry, woo. it was just about the gala."

"you sure?"

"yeah."

"then there's no reason for you to stay up late anymore..." he pulled on your waist, "come to bed then? i hate sleeping without you." he whined. 

he offered you his hand, which you took happily. hand in hand the both of you walked towards your room, ending the night. safely tucked underneath the warm blanket, protected by the arms of none other than your lovely husband.

there were papers scattered around the wooden table, the computer screen was on but untouched, and a half cup of coffee that turned cold by then. 

messy table, messy head they say. 

yet it was far from how juyeon looked standing by his windowsill. his shirt were still unchanged from last morning, but still fits him well with no crinkles. his tie was loose, with his sleeves rolled up. the clock on his table was the only reminder the day had changed and the sun will soon be up, yet there he was still. 

lacking sleep and deep in his thoughts. 

a knock arrived on his office door yet he didn't bother to look up, only doing so when his butler called his name. 

"sir juyeon," he called. 

breaking his train of thoughts, juyeon looked to the elderly man standing near his desk. "ah, park jipsa*." 

"sir, the sun is almost up and you haven't had any sleep. you're not doing any of your job either. you're risking your health, sir." the elderly butler reminded him, which juyeon only replied with a chuckle. 

"you sound like you actually care about me." he mused with a chuckle, not forgetting to give him a side look. 

"that's because it's my job, sir. to make sure the lee family line goes on. it's always been a park's job to make sure of it, since years ago and for years to come," he countered back, face straight yet his eyes still hold a hard look in them. 

"not to mention it was your father's dying wish for me to keep you safe." 

ah, the lee minhyuk. dearest father. melancholy hit him, juyeon gazed to the purplish orange sky sitting outside his window. the sun was starting to show itself, welcoming itself to the morning. 

"never thought i'd be here without him." juyeon murmured to himself. 

"he loved you so much he designed everything through and through, just for you to be here," 

that old man had served the lee family since the time of juyeon's grandfather's reign. he had served lee jiyoung until her downfall, served lee minhyuk until his death, and finally lee juyeon himself. for those years, nothing about the man ever changed. 

his tongue still sharp as ever,

and his loyalty remained strong as ever. 

nothing but truth came out of his mouth. lee minhyuk was one of the fiercest man to ever live; despite his ways of usurping and his infamous act in backstabbing his own family. the world might remember him as a hero, as a villain, but to juyeon he was simply a loving father. loving enough to fulfill juyeon's need as a child even after his mother's death. 

to put everything in, he simply missed his father.

juyeon blinked a tear away, sighing before he brought back himself to reality. "you got the thing i asked for?"

"yes sir." park jipsa took out a folder and moved forward, handing it to juyeon. juyeon took it from him, opening the folder himself and screened through its pages. 

"jung y/n was an orphan. her lineage is unknown at all, our investigator asked around the orphanage and said she was just dropped there and have been there since she was a baby. the orphanage had a funding program which enabled people to fund for the children there, if they wish to help but not to adopt. that funding helped jung y/n to go to school and after that, she got a scholarship to pursue further education abroad,” the butler explained, before adding, "not much is found about her life there. after that she just went back here and took small jobs. she met ateez and jung wooyoung, courtesy of the dirty job her boss had with ateez. the rest are history, they got married and here they were."

juyeon hummed. "nothing else?"

"nothing else. nothing related to you nor the mafia world,” he answered. "may i ask who she is to you, sir? for you to look about her this way."

"that's what i'm trying to find out too, park jipsa." he grinned, closing the folder. "i just found her, and she's... enticing. i can't quite put it in words yet. like i've known her before. but alas, we haven't. but i’ll make sure we do.”

"ah, and that thing i requested?" juyeon asked once again.

his butler nodded, "it's almost ready and will be sent first thing after it's done."

juyeon let out a satisfied hum. standing up, he stretched a bit before retreating from his office. 

"i'll be resting the whole day. don't bother cleaning up my desk. i'll be available for work tomorrow." he announced as he walked out. 

the butler nodded and bowed. 

"as you wish, sir."

the lee family gala week only started a few days after chuseok. with a few days off, ateez decided that they'd visit a family for the holiday. that family happened to be wooyoung's only remaining relative; his father who lived around the rural area of the town.

it's not like the rest of the members didn't have a family. however, wooyoung's father was the only elderly figure that aligned with ateez, as in being in underworld. he was a part of a small gang who understood a little of the underworld, only stopping when he had wooyoung. some said he sort of trained wooyoung to get into the underworld. the rest of ateez's relative aren't much involved; hence the bond was better with wooyoung's father. 

jung ilwoo, but he was more famous as just mr. jung. 

the air in the countryside sure was different from the one in the city. along the fresh air  the smell of barbecued beef filled your nose. the members were preparing for dinner behind you, going back and forth. 

"food's almost ready!" seonghwa shouted, and people quickly gathered around, finishing their tasks faster. 

"guys, where's wooyoung?" you asked when you couldn't found him within the crowd. 

"try the kitchen. he was in charge of making songpyeon." one of them quipped. 

answering a quick okay, you walked into the house. you called upon your husband by his name, which he loudly answered back, telling you of his whereabouts. 

there you found him, sitting in the kitchen comfortably, skillfully molding the colorful songpyeons by hand. 

"woo, come on, dinner's almost ready," 

"hold on," he didn't even spare you a glance, "i'm trying to make the songpyeons as pretty as possible." he remarked while proudly showing you one of the songpyeons he made. 

you tsked him. "they're gonna end up ruined in our stomach anyways."

your nonchalantness had him scowling. "it's holidays, we deserve something pretty. and they say if you can make pretty songpyeons, you'll make pretty babies." he insisted. 

"you seemed to be interested in babies a lot these days." you noted, with a lighthearted chuckle. 

but it didn't set a reaction you expected out of wooyoung. rather than giving you another witty remarks or anything light to the moment like he always did, he stopped a while, stunned, before lowering his head, consumed by deep thoughts in his head. that chuckle and smile on your face was quickly wiped out as you reach for him. 

"woo?" you called, nudging him by his shoulders lightly with your fingers. 

he raised his hand, grazing your fingers before taking it in his own palm. he took a moment of silence while holding your hand, tracing every marks in there. 

"i've been thinking about making a family of our own. it's been a while," he blurted out. 

"i know. san told me," your other hand went up to his cheek, caressing him softly. "why haven't you told me this face to face?" you asked him. 

"i dropped hints. like a lot." he jokingly said. "but i guess anyone would take it as a joke as usual—"

"you're not a joke, never."

"—point is i was just afraid, i guess." he finished nervously. 

"of what?"

"that maybe you don't want kids. that maybe we'd be bad parents, or worse, if i wasn't good enough to become a dad, considering my... line of work. and many more reason." he explained, eyes still looking down at his own feet. 

there's only one jung wooyoung. 

however the times you've spent with each other had made you both realize that there are many things you don't know about each other. like how hard it was for wooyoung to voice out his thoughts, preferring acts than words. as a capo he was more used to receiving commands, listening, doing things and getting them done, despite being able to have thoughts of his own and proving it more than once. having lived with it longer than he was with you, it became something that stays with him. he might be mouthy and loud when he was clingy or showing his affections to you and others, but not when it comes to himself.

i’m okay, it’s nothing much. those were the words that most likely would came out of his mouth. all those times when he came home bruised all over his body, or even bleeding. when he could barely move without wincing in every step he took, clearly in pain. when he came out of hongjoong’s office with his head down, always the same answer.

it took you hours, even days to extract it out of him. and you’d never forget to appreciate him when he finally came clean about his problems. 

“woo, look at me.” you spoke softly, pulling up his chin softly to stare into his eyes. “i’m your wife, you’re my husband. remember? we made a vow.” which he nodded. 

“i understand that you might need time to speak up, but i don’t want us to keep anything from each other. especially things regarding our marriage, our family.” you explained. 

“and about that,” you quipped, “i’m not opposed to it. but i want us to be more ready instead of just being reckless.”

upon your words, a hopeful smile appeared on his face, his eyes turned crescent along with it. “really?” he asked, making sure which you answer with a nod. “does that mean we can start trying and preparing?”

you feigned a gasp, “i thought you’ve been trying since forever?” 

you both laughed to it. the moment was soon broken by a shout from outside, loudly calling for dinner. "c'mon, let's not make others wait."

hollers welcomed you when you and wooyoung walked out of the house, joining the rest on the veranda for dinner. 

“i hope you didn’t taint the kitchen. your dad cooks and eat there, y’know.” yeosang teased, eliciting laughs from others. 

“how about i taint your ears, shithead?” wooyoung taunted back menacingly, “i’ll gladly move next to your room, if that’s what you want.” he ended. the smile quickly wiped out of yeosang’s face as it turned pale with the imagination of restless nights caused by your nightly acts next to his room. and with wooyoung's stamina? it'd be miracle to have a 3 hours quiet time. 

after all, that's why you both got your own quarters, far from others' in the mansion. 

“i’d rather have my ears stabbed then.” he deadpanned.  

dinner started, along with chatters shared between the boys and wooyoung's father. though the old man preferred to answer shortly, being a quiet person he was. 

you didn't talk much with him, with how he answered so shortly. yet you still care for him, constantly reminding wooyoung to come home once in a while or bringing things for his father. 

"woo, aren't we gonna make offerings with the songpyeon and everything?" you quipped. dinner was done, you and wooyoung were in charge of washing dishes. 

wooyoung raised his eyebrows and returned a loud, "huh? what offerings?" 

"to your ancestors? it's a part of the holiday too, right?" you asked. 

after thinking for a while, he let out a loud 'ah'. "my dad stopped doing that when i was like... ten? i don't know." he answered nonchalantly. "besides, my dad said my grandpa and grandma passed a long time ago, when he was younger. he kinda decided it's way past the time."

"not even to your mom?"

the question left him stunned for a while. 

"right... she's dead. i don't know a thing about her though."

"i'm sorry, love." you offered an sympathetic smile. "was she bad, did she neglect you or something?"

he shrugged, "i don't know. dad never really talked about her, he was kinda dismissive about it. just said that she died not long after i was born."

he inhaled, then exhaled, seemingly deep in thoughts before speaking again. "but i don't think she's bad at all." he stated. "one time when i came home from school, i think i was around eleven or twelve... he set up an offering table. there were no photos, no name or anything. i asked him who it was for, and he said it was for my mom. he said it was an... important time and she would want to be remembered. so we prayed for her. and i asked one more time about her to my dad."

"what did he say?"

"he just said he believed that my mom would've loved me. it's just that fate didn't really allow us to be together. sounds cliche as fuck and i don't really get it even now. but i decide  to believe that she did love me. it's easier that way too. i never asked much after that."

"so you never know anything about her? at all?" you queried, invested in his back story. 

stopping his movement in wiping the plates, he leaned back and furrowed his brows, deeply thinking. then he answered, 

"dad said my eyes were like hers, and she gave me my name. he also said she was brave and i took after her, just in a reckless way." 

that conversation ended with laughs escaping from both of your mouths. and so did the night. 

midnight passed, and you were sure everyone was fast asleep when you moved to the living room. 

the songpyeons you had spared before were placed neatly on a plate, along with some other offerings like fruits. there were a bowl of rice and a soup. lighting the candles, you sat down in front of the table. 

you've decided to pay a little respect for wooyoung's mother, if he and his father decided not to. 

you thanked mrs. jung for bringing wooyoung to where he is now; as your loved one, while wondering what would she be like if she were still here. what would she see from you, and many things. you prayed that wherever she is now she'll do well, promising you'll do your best to be wooyoung's wife. 

he might be a pain in the ass sometimes but thank you, he's the sweetness everyone needed in this bitter life.

you were just sitting comfortably in the silence when you heard someone clearing their throat just behind you. turning your back, your eyes found mr. jung standing there, just staring at you blankly. 

"abeoji*..." you stuttered like a deer caught in the headlight, quickly standing up. awkwardness filled in, you knew you weren't wrong for doing it, but it feels unfair to do it yourself when wooyoung and his father didn't even do so. despite being in laws with mr. jung, you still feel like a stranger in the household. 

he raised his hand calmly, dismissing the awkwardness. then he smiled at you. he took a closer look to the offering table you made for mrs. jung. 

he then just stared at it longingly. 

not a single word slipped out of your lips when he observed you and your midnight activity. he just sighed again, retreating. 

"you really are something else." he chuckled with his deep voice. 

"i'm sorry if this offended you." you apologized, but he just shook his head. 

"you're doing something nice, how am i offended?" he said, "i trust she'll be at ease... now that you're here."

he then proceeded to speak more. "always a surprise, something else she was. i wish she could've seen wooyoung and how he grew up, what kind of man he will grown into."

"i'm sure she would've been so proud oof wooyoung and you. for raising him to the man he is today. i believe she'd do anything for you if she could." you said soothingly. 

"hmm, it shows." he quipped. “for everything to fall this way, i can see why she chose…“ he stopped himself, staring at you for a while, before moving his eyes to the offering table once more. 

“this.” 

you raised your eyebrows upon the cryptic message, confusion written all over your face. upon seeing your contorted face, instead of further explaining things, the man chose to retreat, offering you a small smile.

“good night, y/n.”

it was a weird encounter with mr. jung. 

however, you remembered wooyoung and hongjoong's words, about how cryptic and confusing the elderly man can be. and you were never in one thought anyway with mr. jung, so you decided to drop the thoughts of that night. 

but surprise, surprise, oh the thoughts you were going to have today. 

"...say what?" you dumbly ask once again. 

your butler sighed, once again offering the fancy box in his hand. "it came just this morning, madam. a gift from lee juyeon for the gala, addressed to mrs. jung y/n." he explained. 

the whole people sat around the table were silent as they watched the scene unfold before them. wooyoung rose to action first, snatching the box from the butler and putting it on the table.

upon opening the box, he was met with a neatly folded fabric of what seemed to be a dress, a set of jewelry, a pair of masks, an invitation and a piece of paper. he took both the invitation and paper, observing the contents. he found the gala theme to be a masquerade party, the lee family invited ateez to be a part of the gala for a week. he then moved his eyes to the other piece of paper, reading it carefully. 

he decided to read it out loud. "dearest mrs. jung, i hope you accept this token of good friendship between us, ateez and lee family. come to the gala and— what the fuck? —and allow me to have a dance with you— what the," he seethed, "what is this royal bastard doing?! sending you these and- and a dance?! hyung didn't you tell him she was married?" he asked, voice going an octave higher. 

"well he did use 'mrs. jung', so he should've known." yeosang quipped, back to eating his breakfast. 

"hongjoong?" you asked him unsurely. he took the paper from wooyoung's hand, reading the content quickly before putting it down. 

"we need this connection." he sighed, but proceed to look up to you, "how about you? are you okay with this? i know this is important and we kinda don't have a choice, but i wanna know how you feel about this. don't do it if you're not comfortable." he made sure, eyes glimmering with hesitation. you just nod, though hesitating, you sure want to give the best. 

"we have no choice." you murmured agreeing with him. 

"uh, excuse me? i'm her husband? shouldn't i be the one saying that?" wooyoung cut in the conversation, still salty and filled with jealousy. 

"ooh, the green monster is showing." one of the boys said, inducing laughter. 

hongjoong just chuckled. "hey, no one is in fault in here. i told him she was married, y/n explained to him that you are, no doubt, her husband." he explained. 

"you do you, woo. watch on your wife, but remember," he pressed on his last word, "business is business. keep it professional. and i see there's a pair of matching masquerade mask in there. i think it speaks a lot." 

standing up, hongjoong clasped his hands together, gathering his voice before announcing, "tonights is the start of the gala week. prepare yourselves, show up all clean, be ready, and be at your best behavior. i expect the best out of all of us. we're leaving at five this evening."

he raised his cup of morning tea, proposing a toast.

"to our glory."

the whole day, wooyoung has been pouting, seething, if not drowning in jealousy over the morning shenanigans. it was bound to happen anyway, with how possessive he could be. not that you're complaining, that side of him could lead to many passionate things to your marriage life. 

passionate arguments, and even more passionate endings, fiery make ups. 

you constantly teased him, drawing even more crinkle on his face leading to you laughing. he was still upset, but it went moderate when you found that juyeon not only included a pair of matching mask, but also a matching tie to your dress for wooyoung's attire, in which wooyoung complained with a ‘tie and a dress? that’s hardly fair.’

in the end, you both had to use the gift well. 

"fuck, that royal bastard has a good taste, too." he murmured, on today's evening while waiting for you on the living room. 

he was trying his best to still look upset, keyword trying. the only thing that made him angry in the first place was the fact some other guy gave you something personal; but can he truly stay mad when you look this good? 

it was a long black dress, his favorite color. a sleeveless dress with a halter style top and a choker neckline. the piece being backless and having an absolutely low cut on the front part did not help at all, only accentuating the curves of your breasts. the only cute thing the dress provided was the frilly tulle skirt. the pair of earrings and bracelet only made you shine brighter, giving you that elegant look. 

and it didn't help you the way wooyoung look with his all black suit and a tie matching to your black dress. his usually messy hair was now tied up. the rolex he got sat nicely on his wrist, giving him that professional look. as if he wasn't ravishing enough to begin with in his usual baggy t-shirt and sweatpants, he had to rub his handsomeness to your face this way. 

"you look absolutely ravishing, wife," he couldn't help but blurt out, eyes still watching you like a hawk watching on its prey. he landed a smooth kiss on the back of your hand. 

"and so are you, husband." you smirked. you boldly reach out, pulling on his neck to land a playful kiss on his lips which he happily returned. 

"please, for the love of god, get a room." 

at this point, none of the boys' complaints got into any of your brains. hand in hand, and still stars trucked, you both got into the designed rolls royce. you thought the sunset looked nice that day, but all wooyoung see was you, all the way to the lee family mansion.

the lee family mansion, to say it was nicely decorated wouldn't do any justice. 

everything was decorated in a golden brown hue, the lights were set in a yellow tone. just from the lobby you could faintly hear a classical music played by orchestra, and you could see some art pieces here and there, the ones that were guarded and, maybe, were lent from museum. 

talking about old money. 

there are some guests chatting just around the corner of the great hall, while the rest busy themselves waltzing around in the middle of the room with their respective partners. 

"tiger in. is everybody in the room?"

hongjoong's voice came through each of your ear pieces. you and wooyoung look at each other before nodding, confirming that you hear the same thing. pressing a button, you each confirmed of your presence. 

"yeon in."

"uno in."

"mars in."

"lion in."

"howl in."

"bear in."

"fox in."

lastly, you spoke, "ocean in."

"remember. behave. dance or talk around, make new allies, and observe. dismissed." hongjoong's voice once again blasted, before a light beep came through, ending the conversation. 

from the corner of your eyes you could faintly see the members starting to scatter around the room, some in pairs, some alone. your arm was still intertwined with wooyoung, as he lead you further into the great hall. 

"i think we have some time for us." wooyoung remarked, stopping in near the dancing crowd. stepping in front of you, he offered his hand. "what do you say? shall we dance?" 

smirking, you accepted his hand. "lead the way, husband."

he hold your hand in his, while his other hand rested on your waist. you put your other hand on his shoulder. he lead you both to the middle of the dancing crowd, feet tapping to the music as he swayed you in his arms. 

wooyoung was undoubtedly a good dancer. he lead you in such a way you were easily swayed and moved, as if your muscles became his to move around. he spin you around, eliciting chuckles from the both of you when your tulle twirled with your movement. once again his hand landed on your waist, pulling you close to his body. 

"you're so beautiful." he whispered. 

"and you're so handsome. how many times more are we going to have this conversation?" you ask amusedly. 

"until i forget how beautiful you are." 

he lowered his eyes, taking your whole attire. the dress, the black with gold stripes mask similar to his adorning your eyes, the soft velvet gloves encasing your hands— you looked stunning. you looked so stunning he couldn't help his hand to go higher, resting it on your bare back, giving it a gentle squeeze. his breath went heavier as he felt your smooth skin under his palm. 

you hissed upon his touch, hot against your skin. "woo—" you warned. 

"i need you," he exhaled, "god, i need you so desperately. you're so beautiful it's driving me insane." he spoke breathily. 

"baby, we're at work." you reminded him of the reality, but it didn't seem to bother him at all as he moved his lips near your ears, his breath ghosted around as he lightly nip your earlobe. 

"it'll be quick, i promise. i'll make it good." his grip on your back went tighter, "please," he begged. 

he moved his head back, staring at your eyes and lips for a second. lust were clear in his eyes, from behind his mask. he dived for your lips, kissing you lightly, though you know he's holding himself back so much as you were both in a middle of a crowd, while at work. the kiss might be light and seemly innocent, but not with the way he bit your lower lip when he pulled back, alluring you with his lustful gaze. 

he pleaded once again. 

in which you could no longer keep your stance, nor your needs, nor your sanity. a whispered yes escaped your lips, and he was fast in pulling you away from the crowd, away from the great hall, practically running to the farthest and quietest bathroom. patience be damned, as thin as ice when he backed you up against each hallway, kissing and groping each other as if there's no tomorrow. 

thank the lees for having such a big bathroom. 

wooyoung basically pushed you inside the room, making your waist hit the cabinet as he locked the room. 

oh, the primal look in his eyes. 

he took of his mask, threw it somewhere across the room. you did the same. he stepped forward, claiming your lips with his once again, this time with no restraint as no one was around. you could hear your breaths racing, the messy smacking of your lips against his, raising heat to your face and your insides. 

"baby," you pulled, trying hard to hold him, "baby we gotta be quick," you reminded him. 

he just nodded. "turn around for me." and you obeyed him, turning around to face the huge mirror in front of you. "watch us baby. don't take your eyes off the mirror." he commanded. 

and you did.

you watched as he stared at you through the mirror, his hands busy in picking up your tulle skirt revealing your black panties. you picked your skirt from his hand, bunching some of the fabric in your hands, putting it aside. 

he slid his hand through your (already soaked) panties, and you involuntarily closed. "eyes open, baby girl." he gripped your jaw. he quickly pulled his zipper, lowering both his underwear and pants just enough to let his dick out. you couldn't see it, the anticipation of it filling you, until you could feel him putting your panties aside, teasing your other lips with his tip before he pushed his dick inside your walls, up to the brim and stilling, catching his breath. 

"stop fluttering around me," he whined feeling your walls massaging his cock nicely. "fuck, so tight."

you were already a moaning mess by the time he slowly moved. 

"faster, woo," you begged already letting the greed take over. his faint smirk was visible through the mirror. 

the snapping movement he created was so good you almost lost balance, but he caught you just in time as he brought his body closer to you, trapping you between the cabinet and himself. he put his hand near your stomach on the cabinet to save you from further unwanted pain, as he laid his head against yours, lips right beside your ears. 

"my good girl, so dirty, so in love with me she'd let me take her in someone else's bathroom, at work," he groaned into your ears. "your moans are so pretty, baby. here i thought the dress was the only pretty thing on you." 

praising or degrading, at this point you have no idea. not with how delicious his cock glided around your velvet walls. not with how his lips playfully glided across the column of neck, giving feathery kisses. 

"y-you're fucking me so good, woo," you moaned out. 

"yeah? always giving the best for my girl, no?" he asked you, and you nod obediently. 

"look at how beautiful you are now, y/n." he gripped your jaw, forcing you to keep your eyes open, "other men might give you this dress, and this dress looked so damn good on you, yes,"

so this is what it was about. partly. 

"but only i can make you moan so pretty like this. make your pretty pussy flutter, make your face contort in pleasure prettily when i give you those mind blowing orgasm," he taunted, "only my dick can please you, filling you up with my cum the way you like it."

a loud moan slipped through you agape mouth, amusing wooyoung. "you always loved my cum, don't you? filling you up to the brim. fuck, could get you all round and pregnant. would you like that?" 

"yes, yes, yes!"

"yes what, baby?"

"give me your babies, fill me up, i'll be pregnant for you, fuck!" you cried out, feeling the hot wave on your lower parts, "fuck baby, i'm—" your brain short circuited stopping your words, completely replacing it with louder moans. 

"you're gonna walk around and dance around with my cum inside you. i don't want a bit of it spilled out. want you to remember that you're carrying me inside of you while you talk and move around with other men." he seethed. he slipped his hand under your skirt, easily found your clit and pressed it with his thumb, making fast figure eights on it. 

you desperately turned your face, hand going behind you to pull him by the cheek closer to your face, wanting to kiss him so bad. he captured your lips in a messy kiss, creating strings of saliva as both tongue danced around. he fastened his movement when he felt your pussy fluttering around him and your moans getting messier, which only mean you're close. 

you came with a loud moan, your essence wetting his dick and some dripping down your thighs. wooyoung chased his high, groaning loudly when he stilled, making sure he put his cum deep inside you.

"clench baby. keep it inside." he inquired as he pulled out slowly. he quickly put your panties back, getting some tissue from the cabinet to wipe the rest of your essence on your legs as well from his overly wet dick, before putting it back to its place. 

he zipped himself up before helping you to stand properly, straightening your skirt to put it back to its proper state, then smiled as if you both didn't just sin in someone else's bathroom. you were still dazed and catching your breath. turning around, you circled your hands around his neck, pulling him for a sweet soft kiss for a cherry on top. 

a ringtone blasted from wooyoung's phone, breaking the kiss. 

"shit, it's hongjoong hyung." he cussed, but still pressing the green button, "hello?"

"where the fuck are you? and where's y/n? why aren't you both answering to your receivers?" hongjoong's voice blasted from the speaker so loud wooyoung flinched and had to put his phone away from his ears, trying not to be deaf in such a young age. 

"hyung, chill, we were just stepping out for... a fresh air." he made up while holding back his own laugh. hongjoong might be absolutely mad over this shenanigans, but it's so worth it.

"get back here asap. juyeon's asking for y/n. and i've sent everyone out to look for yo—"

and just then, the door bursted open, revealing jongho and his face, contorting in disgust when he finally realize the scene happening in front of him. 

"in the middle of work? really?" wooyoung could only throw a sheepish smile. he sighed, before answering to his earpiece, "found the two lovebirds. in a damn bathroom so far in the east wing doing god knows what." he almost gagged. 

jongho stepped backwards, "let's go. y/n's wanted."

"never knew bathroom air could be so fresh."  someone quipped through the receiver. 

the crowd in the great hall once again welcomed you. you caught hongjoong and juyeon in the line of your sight, and you knew it was your cue to go. sharing one more quick kiss with wooyoung, you departed for the two men, leaving wooyoung and jongho behind.

you threw juyeon a sweet smile, "evening mr. lee. what a great party you have here."

"and attended by a great person, too. i see you're putting my token of goodwill to good use." he remarked, taking your hand and landing a kiss there. "and i hope this a way to say yes to a dance with me?" 

"it's a yes, sir."

juyeon smiled back, excusing you and himself to hongjoong before leading you to the dance floor. his movement was slightly stiffer than wooyoung's but he proved to still able to lead a dance. never having to stood this close to another man made you feel nervous, obvious to your awkward touch on his shoulder. 

juyeon watched your awkward body language with an amused grin on his face, "lighten up, mrs. jung.  i can promise you it's not my intention to create any problem between our relationship. especially so early like this."

"so you're planning to do it in the future, then?" you teased, in which he replied with a curt smile. 

"i hope not. i'd like to make friends more than foes." 

you followed his lead in the dance, lightening up yourself before juyeon as you both chatted. lee juyeon is as smooth as he is light with his lips, in contrast to his usual hard look and rumored harsh personality. despite you being the one who had to approach him and initiate alliance, he talked more and eased the air around, sometimes even joking around.

after a while, you finally decided to push the topic you've been dreading for the past week. "so what do you think, mr. lee? of my proposal, alliance between us?" you asked, anxiety churning in the pit of your stomach. 

juyeon went quiet upon your sudden intrusion, and you thought maybe you were too fast on confronting the issue. his eyes wandered around the room, trying to escape your gaze, you presumed. however he tightened his grip on you, bringing you closer to him. 

"i actually have considered it, and i think it's a nice proposal, but," he stopped for a while, "i must make sure that this will work, the lees and ateez. so i can't just accept you working under my family just like that," he continued. 

your heart almost dropped, and maybe so did your face behind the mask. 

"however, i have a way to do that." he spoke again, and you quickly raised your head, awaiting his next response. 

"look to your left. your nine o'clock." he commanded. you slightly turned to your left, eyeing the part of the room he mentioned. he then stated, "see the man in black and white suit, a black diamond pin on his necktie and plain black mask?" 

you nodded, confirming that you saw the same man. 

"his name is kim younghoon, from seoul kim family. ever heard of them?"

"yes. another mafia royal family. almost like your family, i think."

"not as mighty as mine, but yes." he asserted.

"what about them?" you questioned. 

juyeon took a deep breath, readying himself as he explained. "the lees and the kims have been an ally for many generations. but unfortunately, after the thing... between my dad and lee jiyoung, it sort of created a gap between us." he added, "most of their families were supporters of my aunt." you nodded. 

"their fields are similar to ateez's biggest industry at the moment. meds, drugs, et cetera. you'd found common ground with them and ateez will grow more. here's where you came in handy." he remarked, "i want you to act as a third party between our families. fix things between us. i'll introduce you to kim younghoon, pass you up for a dance. you'll work with them, and if your work is good, your bond with them will automatically be stronger, however, they won't be able to ignore the fact that i was the one that brought you to them."

"a good work to the kims means a good work for me and my family. a good work with the kims and lees means you have connections to two of the most powerful mafia families. a win-win, a perfect domino effect, don't you think?" he proposed. 

you furrowed your brows. 

truthfully, juyeon was right. it would be like hitting two birds with one stone. the lees are ruler of the south, and the kims held most part of seoul, not to mention the amount of their members that entered the politics and industries.

you’ve heard yeosang mentioning the kims more than twice. how they owned many hospitals, many other companies as well, but putting their drug company as their main family business. the kims are born from a line of doctors, professors of medicinal world, as well as businessmen dan businesswomen. some of them are even took part in the government’s ministry of health office, to maintain free passage for their own business. they don’t take much part in the dirty work within the mafia world, but they were still influential enough within it.

“taking a sweet time, aren’t we?” 

“i’ll take the offer.” you quickly blurted out.

juyeon stared at your face, your eyes, trying to find any faults, any sign of hesitation, as this was considerably a hard job for a rookie no matter how easy it sounded. yet all he was met was a pair piercing eyes staring right back at him. “i won’t pull back. just like what i said before.” 

the music stopped, just after you said your last word. you both bowed at each other, ending the first dance session perfectly. taking his offered hands to you, he led you away from the dance floor right to your awaiting guest. you walked just slightly behind him, letting juyeon take all the lead.

juyeon tapped on the said man’s shoulder when you stepped behind him.

juyeon let out a curt smile when kim younghoon turned around to face him. “kim younghoon,” he greeted shortly.

“juyeon.” younghoon replied just as short with a smile on his face. “nice party.” 

juyeon hummed, “never a boring party with the lees.”

the cold and thick atmosphere between the two were unmistakable, clear to anyone’s eyes who dared to observe. juyeon and his piercing gaze, kim younghoon as his calm demeanor, yet straight eyes and body language, keeping his dominant persona in check. 

when juyeon realized the meaningless chit-chat would lead nowhere, he pulled you forward placing you right beside him. “this is mrs. jung y/n of ateez. i told you about her just before the gala, remember?”

upon the introduction, you quickly bowed at kim younghoon out of courtesy. you wouldn’t dare to stare yet, but you could see him offering you a warm smile and a bow just from the corner of your eyes.

“i do remember.” 

“well, in my opinion you should offer her a dance. she’s a great dancer, from my short yet unforgettable experience,” juyeon had said, pulling you even further for you to stand before kim younghoon. “she follows exceptionally well.” he implied.

“then i should find out by myself.”

he offered juyeon one last bow out of courtesy, which juyeon replied back with one. juyeon stepped back, before turning around and completely disappear from both of your presence to give you a space of your own.

a counting tap was heard, indicating the start of the next dance session. younghoon offered his hand to you, “may i?”

you took his hand in you just when the music started, and he quickly led the dance, bringing you to the middle of the dancefloor between the crowd. 

it started off awkwardly, as you racked your brain, thinking hardly of what to say, of how to start a conversation at all. lifting your gaze, you were met with younghoon’s pair of soft brown eyes, already staring at you.

oh. oh. you felt something tugging in your stomach as your brain remembered and tried to recall the deja vu you just had. those brown eyes. the garden, the sound of your breath hitching.

“you…” your words were stuck, as you were stunned.

the man in the garden, your helper, your savior, was none other than kim younghoon.

younghoon smiled, you could see his eyes curved into a crescent from behind his mask making his brown eyes shine even brighter.

“miss,” he greeted softly. “i finally know your name now, y/n.”

what kind of coincidence was this?

also i almost lost my whole document (fic bits, drafts, etc) bc i stupidly brought my phone to the pool and now it's dead.

* jipsa; butler

* abeoji; father (sorta formal)

ok i think i might start aiming to write >5k for each chapter so WE. CAN. GET. IT. DONE.

also i feel like i'm gonna focus more on younghoon, juyeon, y/n and hongjoong in the next chapter bc i need to start building the plot up.

I HOPE U ENJOY

[purelyfiction]

All Fun & Games ♧♤♡♢ 3.2

Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd x F!Reader |1| 2 | 3.1

Word Count: 5,496 words

Summary: In a rather spontaneous fashion, Bob has invited you to take a glimpse into his routine - one that you don’t normally get a good look at while up in the air.

Content Warning:  This story will have TopGun: Maverick plot line elements to it and will possibly spoil the movie for you. Please be aware. This - and all of my stories - is 18+. By continuing to read you agree that you are 18 or older and that any content you come across is by your own decision. || Mild NSFW subjects

Author Note: .... don’t hate me. This has taken such a long, long time to get out because of work, life - so many things kept piling up. Thank you so so so much for your patience, I think it was early July the last time I updated, so this is long awaited. And because of that - I’ve double updated. This chapter has an extension to it, PLEASE READ THE FIRST PART BEFORE YOU READ THIS ONE!! since I am a madwoman and can’t stay under 8k words and ended up writing nearly 11k words for one part. So, please enjoy more Bob x Vegas content - and please please thank @callsignthirsty​ and @deadratio​ for being my editors, sounding boards and generally great friends. You’ll likely see them again soon. Without further adieu: All Fun & Games - Part 3.2

Attention: If you would like to be on the tag list please see the pinned post on my blog for the document. If you’re not able to access it please message me, I rarely find any tag requests in my notifications!

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Bob and Copper have stopped at the peak of the trail, and you navigate Goldrush beside them - only to witness why they’ve stopped. 

At the top of the hill is a clearing that looks over the cove that is created from the terrain surrounding the rural areas of San Diego. It’s stunning. 

“Wow…” Part of you is out of breath from the nerves of riding, the other from this view. “Have you ever seen something so pretty?”

“This isn’t my first time up here, y’know?” Bob teases, making you push his arm. 

“You know what I meant.” You grin, sitting in peace with him, both of the horses entertained with dry grass around the path. “How far from the stables are we?” 

Bob shrugs. “I think we’re five or six miles out?” 

Your eyebrows raise in surprise. “Really? I feel like we’re closer than that.” He chuckles at your confession. 

“I think you’re underestimating how fast a horse moves. C’mon, if we make it quick Casey might still be at the ranch - she always brings in these great sugar cookies.” As Bob guides Copper back the way you’d came, you can’t help but giggle at his excitement over a cookie. 

Bob was such a different person when he grew comfortable with you. There’s a part of you that wants to boast it to the others, how well you know him now, but maybe that would just fuel the rumor mill. 

Your attention is still on the view between the trees as you descend, and maybe that’s why you don’t see what it is that makes the next few minutes go by in a blur. Before you can even blink, there’s a squeal from the horse under you as she kicks her front legs in the air, gravity pulling you out of the saddle and straight onto your back. 

All of the air shoots from your lungs when your body makes contact with the ground and you cough as you try to get oxygen back into your lungs. Your head is ringing, but you swear you didn’t hit it off the ground. Despite the distortion of sound, you can hear Bob’s voice. His hand comes to your shoulder and guides you onto your side, hands gentle as the ground vibrates from Goldrush’s hooves on the path as she runs the opposite direction. 

“V… Vegas, can you hear me?” You’re rolling onto your back again, your eyes shut from the minute you hit the ground. Though, they open when you feel his hands cupping your face, gentle taps encouraging you to open your eyes. “There’s those pretty eyes. Hey... what hurts?”

You’re looking side to side, attempting to find the very thing that got you here in the first place. 

“Where… where’s Gold-”

“Don’t worry about her right now, ‘kay? Let’s focus on you.” Hands are pulling your head to look forward again, making you look directly to his own blue eyes. “What hurts? Legs good?” When you nod, he continues, “arms? Head?”

“Yeah - yeah, I’m just winded is all.” Bob seems to calm down at this. 

“Alright, careful now.” He’s cautiously helping you sit up, only to take a seat next to you in the dirt. When you’re sitting upright, you’re surprised to see Copper happily munching on grass, untethered, simply waiting for Bob to remount. 

“That’s a loyal horse,” you mumble as Bob starts to poke at common injury sites. He continues to do so until he’s convinced you’re okay. “Bo, I’m all good.”

“I still think we should get you checked out before we head back to Miramar. Just to be sure.” He speaks with such concern and you smile at him. 

“I’ll be fine - hell I face seven to eight G’s each day, I think I can handle a little fall.” He’s got his hands under your arms as you stand, keeping his cautious demeanor about him. 

“Okay… okay you’ve got a point with that one.” With his hands on his hips, he’s looking up the path. “Gold got spooked by something in the brush. Which is very unlike her. Kinda worries me.”

“Well… how do we find her?” 

It’s then that Bob is helping you up onto Copper, still being exceedingly careful after your fall. Once you’re up, you look at him. “If I’m up here how are-” 

Your question is cut off when Bob climbs up behind you, sliding onto the saddle, flush against you. It’s a little tight in the saddle since it was meant for a single rider, but you’re sure you could handle this. 

“Like this. Now, to find Goldrush,” he hums, wrapping his arms around you to get to the reins. 

As you start the journey back uphill, Bob’s hips are moving with each step - and against you. You’re really trying to blame the dizzy feeling coursing through you on your fall, but with each bounce, you know that’s not true. You’re gripping onto the saddle with a near death grip, Bob’s arms shifting around you every now and then. His forearms rest on your thighs, eliciting a less than platonic feeling. Bob’s voice startles you out of your reverie. 

“There she is.” As you crest over the hill, Goldrush is trotting along, mowing on grass and dandelions and keeping to herself. Bob carefully inches toward her, only for her to start off into a gallop. “Son of a bitch- hold on!” 

In quick time, Bob is kicking his heels into Copper’s side and the horse breaks into a gallop.Your knuckles are white where they grip the saddle horn, the surrounding brush melting together into a single green blur as Copper chases after Goldrush. And despite the steady press of Bob against your back, you can feel yourself beginning to slip. Bob's quick to wrap an arm around your waist and one of your hands leaves the horn to anchor onto him, latching onto the sense of security that his arm brings you. "I gotcha."

As you begin to catch up to the other horse, Bob moves his free hand to the side of the saddle where a length of rope is tacked to the leather of the seat. With nimble fingers he’s undoing the snap that keeps it secure, pulling it into his hands. Reins are long abandoned as he rapidly fashions a knot in front of you. Bob can’t even see his hands as they’re tying, yet he’s moving at the speed of light, quickly looping into a cowboy’s lasso. Before you know it, with a swing of his arm, the rope’s flying through the air, and catching Goldrush. Bob’s pulling with most of his strength to get her to slow, until he’s sliding off of Copper, and continuing to tug Goldrush closer to him. He keeps his voice low as he approaches her at an angle, and carefully tries to calm her down.

It takes a few minutes, but eventually, despite her rapid breathing and flared nostrils, Goldrush’s nuzzling into his hand. “I haven’t got the faintest idea what set you off,” he murmurs to the mare, before he turns his head back to you, “It’d probably be best to keep her on leed to get her back to the stable. This isn’t like her.” 

You simply nod, unsure of what else to say - more so still frazzled by the full-fledged cowboy you just witnessed. He’s returning to Copper’s side, guiding Goldrush toward the other horse in hopes they’ll be able to ease Goldrush off whatever anxiety that’s taken over her. 

A few miles later and an unbearably long ride back, you return to the stables. One of the stable hands is coming out to help with Goldrush - a horse with no rider isn’t encouraging. 

“What happened out there?” It’s the same woman from earlier, Jennifer — or maybe it was Jenna?

“She got spooked by something in the brush along the trail. Threw Vegas right onto the ground.” The graying redhead looks at you with concern as Bob dismounts and reaches up a hand to help you down. You take his hand with caution, and slide off trusting that the male would catch you if you fell. 

“I’m fine.” You wave her off when she gives a skeptical glance in your direction.

Despite your words, the older woman looks at Bob. “Casey’s here if you want to have her look your girl over,” she offers. You can see Bob visibly release some lingering tension. Before you can correct Jennifer — you’re not together-together — Bob turns to you. 

“It’s up t’ you, but it probably is a good idea to get checked out.” He then tacks on a note: “Casey’s a physician. For the record. I’m not sending you into the hands of a vet or some farmer,” he reassures you with a laugh that leaves you giggling.

“Yeah, yeah okay.” You heave a sigh but willingly let him guide you toward the volunteer that had been mentioned, leaving Jenna — no, it was definitely Jennifer — to return the horses to their stables.

After having a flashlight nearly blind you and being asked a million questions, you’re cleared by the doctor on property, leaving both of you with less worry. Bob wouldn’t have to explain to Maverick why you couldn’t fly tomorrow. You wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not you’d ended up with a concussion.

“You’re lucky you managed to escape a fall without an injury, most riders who are thrown off like that end up with a wrist or an ankle sprain at the very least.” Casey stands after her assessment, moving to the tupperware container on the counter and opening it before holding it out to you. You give Bob a knowing glance with a smirk as you pick up one of the cookies, seeing him all too happily taking one as well once he’s offered. 

With a subtle nod of thanks, Bob speaks with his mouth full of cookie. “Thank you ma’am. For making sure Vegas is okay. And the cookies, of course.” You stand up as he speaks, Casey waves him off with a grin. 

“Of course.” Though she turns to you. “However, if anything changes, go see a medical professional as soon as you can,” she reminds you, and you smile in reassurance.

The two of you step out and are greeted with a new face, an older gentleman. “I heard you took a tumble.” You shrug, but look over at Bob. 

“Yeah, I did, but I was in good hands.” He smiles in turn, before the other man speaks once more. 

“You sure you’re alright?” With a smile, you’re reaching over and grabbing Bob’s hat off his head, carefully tugging it on your own.

“Sure am.” The gray man lets out a hearty laugh, slapping Bob’s back as he begins to walk away. 

“Reel your girl in, Robert,” the man says with a cheeky smile as he tips his hat in your direction. It’s then that you see the cherry red that floods Bob’s face as he clears his throat. 

“Yes, sir,” Bob chokes out, quick to steal his hat back and direct you to the lockers again, a hand on the small of your back. Glancing over your shoulder, you seek clarification from Bob. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask somewhat annoyed, still looking his way as Bob grabs your shoes from his locker, as well as his jacket. 

“Um, well, you uh- you’re not supposed to take a cowboy’s hat.” He keeps his answer simple, his actions rushed as he locks back up and guides you by the elbow this time toward his truck, but his ears are still stained red. 

“Why not? Seems harmless enough, unless you’re worried about lice or something. Not that I have lice. I just don’t have a hat and I-”

“There’s a rule, and it’s kinda stupid -” he stops at the passenger side door to the truck, knuckles white as his grip on the handle tightens. Yet he continues: “if a girl takes your hat it- ugh.” He licks his lips for a moment. He’s trying to delicately approach this without sounding completely crass — his momma would slap him upside the head if he did. 

“Out with it Floyd.” You’re trying to encourage him, but it comes out a little firmer than you intend, leaving him to blurt it out,

“It means you want to sleep with them.” 

The two of you sit in a tense silence for a few moments. Both of you are likely thinking the same thing, but neither of you dare to speak it. Instead, you give a slow sigh, mumbling under your breath, “that would’ve been good to know.” Bob catches his bottom lip between his teeth as he leans against the truck, but releases it to give a click of his tongue. 

“Don’t worry too much about it, yeah?” With a tug on the handle, he’s opening your door and you’re seeking solace from the burning of the embarrassment you feel. 

While you're sure Bob's truck can carry the weight of the lingering elephant in the cabin, nothing — not even the AC cranked to max — can filter out the tension that has made the air heavy. So, Bob takes a crack at smoothing it over before it can spill out at the seams. 

“Jenna was saying that a few of the volunteers are going to Outlaw’s tonight. She invited me - er, us, I guess.” 

Damn, it was Jenna. 

Pushing the intrusive thought to the side, you nod as you watch the pavement disappear over the hood of the truck. “And Outlaw’s is…” you prompt, seeking more detail from him. 

“It’s a bar. Well, a cowboy bar? It’s more western than Penny’s is, I’ll give it that much. There’s usually dancing and way too much beer and a lot of loud music so if it’s not your scene-”

“I’d love to come,” you cut him off before he can give you too many reasons to say no. Yet you can’t think of many that would keep you from Outlaws, so long as Bob is there.

“Great! Um, they have food there, so I wouldn’t worry about eating — I’ll drop you off and swing back to base and change, then come back and grab you. We’ll leave from there?” he suggests.

“That sounds perfect. What’s the vibe? Aside from double denim.” You’re able to sneak in a jab at him, which earns you a chuckle. 

“Well it depends on your mood, I mean boots are a bit of a given, so no more sneakers -”

“Noted.” 

“But… I hate to say denim but…” He glances at you and you let out a high pitched laugh. 

“What about a dress?” you inquire, and he thinks on it. 

“I think that would work?” The truck slows to a stop, making you realize you’re back at your rental. Turning from your window, you look toward the driver and grin. 

“Great. I’ll see you in what, an hour?”

“An hour it is.”

════⋆★⋆════

You’re taking this new opportunity in full stride. Never in your wildest dreams would you have thought you’d spend your Sunday on a horse - let alone in a red floral dress and cowboy boots that aren’t even yours.

Yet, here you are: patiently sat on the stoop of your rental’s front porch, waiting for Bob to roll up. Unsurprisingly, he doesn’t keep you waiting long.

What is surprising, however, is the small bundle of flowers in his hand as he leaves his truck, walking through your front yard decked out in his boots, hat, and a pair of jeans. He’s topped the fit with a black undershirt and a corduroy jacket. You’re all too surprised at the ensemble that you don’t immediately recognize that something is missing. Not until he’s standing in front of you with a toothy grin, holding out the flowers to you. 

“Oh my god!” you’re nearly squealing, covering your mouth with your hand as you take the flowers absentmindedly. “Don’t tell me you drove over here blind, Bo.” Your teasing demeanor makes him laugh, throwing his head back with amusement.

“No, no, I didn’t drive here blind, Vegas,” he shoots back at you as you take his chin, playfully moving it side to side, taking in his face. 

He looks strange without his glasses. It’s not a bad look by any means — you really aren’t complaining, he looks gorgeous — but it definitely took you by surprise. Like this, without his glasses in the way, you get the full effect of those baby blues.

“I had no idea you wore contacts,” you remark and he leaves it with a shrug. 

“Don’t really wear ‘em often. I’m not permitted to wear them to work so they are probably older than they recommend.” It’s only now, as his eyes shift toward the bouquet, that you take in the flowers: a bundle of sunset-orange crystahimums. You look back at him over the petals, his hands have tucked themselves into his pockets and he rocks onto the heels of his boots.

“There was a guy with a cart and I had my window down and-”

“They’re gorgeous, Bo,” you laugh, seeing him scratch at his neck, an anxious tick you’d noticed first at work - now on your doorstep. This was more of the Bob you recognize, though you’re more than happy to see him comfortable around you. “Let me drop these inside and we’ll go?”

Once the flowers are deposited in a rouge bucket (vases were far and few and you would have to dig around for one later) with water, you find yourself in his passenger seat again. 

“You look really nice, V.” It’s a genuine compliment, you can tell. His smile meets his eyes, which are shining more than the chrome on the side of his truck. 

“Thanks, Bo.” 

There’s a country track playing softly, the AC circulating the scent of Bob’s body wash through the cabin of the truck until it’s all you can focus on. It’s not the first time you’ve smelled it, as there have been a few times he’s come in from flying and gone straight to shower before coming to the trophy room to listen in on the other pilots. 

There’s something within the familiar scent that you can’t place, though. Like someone had been baking something with oranges and vanilla, but had left the door open after a fresh rain. Then you realize it’s coming from Bob. Had he put on cologne? 

No, no. That couldn’t be it. It didn’t make sense. You’re just coworkers. Yeah, that’s it. Two coworkers who went horseback riding together. Who are carpooling to a bar together. He was just a coworker. Who let you borrow his sister’s boots. Who bought you flowers because he was considerate and supported small businesses. Whose hat you’d stolen earlier. Who has seemingly brushed his teeth before coming to get you because he smelled a little like mint when he looked at you with those big blue eyes and the shyest grin and - what the fuck did he say?

“Yes,” you blindly answer a question you’re unsure was even asked.

“Yes?” He glances at you with a bit of confusion spelt out on his face.

“I- sorry I was kind of spaced out,” you admit to him, picking at the hem of your dress.

“I asked what station you want to listen to since we’ll be listening to a lot of country music at Outlaw’s…” His voice fades out and you’re quickly replacing it.

“No, no it’s fine. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts their mouth.” You dismiss him with a small smile, watching as the light you’ve been idling at turns green, a glow spreading over the pavement and the black paint of the truck. 

“Okay… I’m glad you came with me to Limbo today. Despite completely eating it thanks to Goldrush - I still don’t know what got into her. I’ve never seen her act like that.” You’re hearing the sentiment, you are but the name is sticking in your head. 

“We were there for over five hours and not once did someone explain what the hell ‘Limbo’ meant,” you point out, causing him to launch into a fit of laughter. When he’s caught his breath, he starts to explain. 

“Limbo. Like in limbo? They’re between homes and their goal is to get them from the spot they came from to a good home. There’s also a fundraiser every year but-”

“A limbo fundraiser? And you didn’t think to tell me? Bob, I need to mark my calendar tonight, this is vital information.” There's a levity to the cabin after the laughter clears — light and easy in a way that hadn't thought possible earlier, after the hat incident. But you're happy to be proven wrong. Grateful, even. Bob pulls off the road and into an absolutely packed parking lot. There’s trucks - far too many to count - and many cowboys heading to the entrance of the building.

When Bob open’s your door and helps you out, you can feel the music reverberating through your chest before you hear it clearly. There is a flood of light that greets you when you step into the building, neon signs left and right, a bar built around a square dance floor and a DJ blasting any and every country song known in existence. He’s guiding you to a pair of empty barstools - which is surprising considering how many vehicles are in the parking lot - though you come to realize most of the patrons are on the wood floor dancing. 

“Bob, I think there's a glitch in the matrix,” you joke, looking at the massive group that is moving simultaneously with the music. Currently, it’s some Thomas Rhett song you’ve heard once or twice prior to tonight. It’s got a good vibe to it and Bob’s singing it under his breath - until he has to respond to your comment. 

“It’s called line dancin’ darlin’. I told you there’d be dancin’ didn’t I?” he asks as he finally has the attention of a bartender. 

“Yeah, but I thought you meant, like, normal dancing. Not… flash mob dancing.” You’re watching the dancers in a trance until Bob is nudging your elbow, handing you a shot glass filled with amber liquid. “What’s this?” You cautiously take it from his hand, and he grins, leaning forward to speak in your ear as the music changes, the volume increasing 

“Liquid Courage. Drink up sweet girl.” Within seconds he’s downing his glass and setting it on the bar. You are a little frozen to start - but soon enough you get the alcohol down and you’re recognizing the burn that is Fireball. You guess it’s better than tequila, but at what cost?

When your glass has been returned and Bob has opened a tab, a slower country song comes on and he nods rather quickly. “Alright, cowgirl, time to break in those boots.” He’s quick to grab your hand and pull you through a crowd that seems to be ditching the dance floor. 

“Bob, this seems to be no one’s favorite,” you comment with a smirk as you and a handful of other patrons stand on the floor. 

“It’s ‘cause it’s slow. Which is exactly what you need in order to learn how to do some of these.” As the song starts up, Bob lines both of you up with one another, looking at your feet carefully. “This one is pretty easy. So you’re stepping to the left, and want to swing your right leg back…” As he explains each step, he’s physically doing it, leaving you to follow as best as you can. As you get into the rhythm of it, he starts to speed up the steps, which you’re surprised to find aren’t as difficult as they look. 

When it looks like you’ve finally gotten the hang of it, Bob begins to mirror your movements he’s taught you, moving in an opposite direction, before joining you in the middle again, quickly taking your hands and spinning you - winning him a giggle - just as the song starts to slow it’s tempo. You can feel the way your heart is racing from the cardio of moving around the floor, and you can see the mile wide grin on your friend’s face. The eye contact you make is strong, but it doesn’t last that long before he’s moving back with the music, and finishing out the song. You smile as he steps away, clapping in recognition of your efforts, making you mockingly curtsey as the music switches. 

The song is all too familiar - and is seemingly one of the bar’s favorites. As evidenced by the sudden flood of dancers. You nearly lose Bob in the crowd, but he is quick to grab your waist and pull you to the side of the floor. 

“This one is a little more high speed. You wanna try?” he offers, already starting in step with the other dancers. You stand off to the side, watching as his feet move in time with everyone else - the mass of strangers that dance behind him - all doing the same dance despite never meeting before. 

“No, I think I’m gonna sit this one out.” You find yourself leaning up against the bar, far from the floor now, happily watching as Bob finds his element. There’s so much confidence dripping from him with each slide of his boot on polished wood. While he may be dancing with another girl on the floor, blue eyes keep drifting to you on the leather bar stool, waiting for the next low-tempo dance to learn. You’re happily spectating as the song continues on - until a tap comes from your shoulder. Turning around the bartender is sliding a beer to you, and pointing at a man in a flannel shirt and a trucker hat down the bar. Oh. 

When Bob finishes his turn, he finds himself on the stool next to you, leaving him pointing at your drink. “I didn’t know you drank Coors?” he huffs, leaning back against the bar. You’re quick to scratch your wrist with a glance to the man who bought the drink before looking at Bob. 

“It’s because I don’t,” you’re nearly snarling, which makes Bob sit up a little straighter. He glances around the room, brow furrowed as he pushes up the top of his hat to get a better look at the crowd. 

“Who was it.” It’s not a question. There’s no inkling of it, not even a persuading tone to patch it. It’s accusatory, and hard. 

“No one, okay, don’t let it bother you. It’s fine-” 

“It’s Banquet, who the fuck buys a girl Coors Banquet?” He’s scowling, stewing in what you can only assume is annoyance on your behalf. You’ve not even bothered to pick up the beverage, simply letting it sweat out on the resin top. 

“Not gonna worry about it, Bo. Not worth either of us ruining our night.” He’s still hunting the guy down with piercing eyes - and it seems like he’s found him. With a sigh, you’re checking to see who he has tone on only to find flannel-guy and Bob are staring at each other dead eye-to-eye. 

Bob’s always been a good WSO. That includes, among other things, killer aim.

With a slow hand, Bob lifts the glass to his lips and downs it in one go, eyes locked firmly on trucker boy.

The music has changed by now, but this time it’s a very upbeat song, “Couldn’t agree more.” He’s slamming the bottle down and wiping at his mouth before a large hand takes yours, pulling you back to the dance floor. 

“Bo I don’t-”

“We’re not dancin’ with them, sweetheart.” Your heart skips for a second as he locates a clear enough spot on the floor for the two of you. His hand finds a comfortable spot on your waist, your hand in his still. “Just follow my lead, pretty little lady.” 

In less than two seconds, he’s gone from Bob, your coworker with a heart of gold, a pair of glasses and a sheltered personality - to Bo, a horse wrangling, line dancing, beer chugging, and heart breaker. A real rodeo romeo. 

Bob is quick to spin you out of your thoughts as Alan Jackson’s Good Time blasts through the speakers. Boots move in time with one another despite any hesitancies you had about dancing - it felt like you’d been dancing for years. 

He’s stepping with you, in, out, side to side, and being extra careful not to step on your toes. After all, he promised nothing has ever stepped on his toes, and nothing would step on yours - which was a promise he intended to keep. 

Unbeknownst to you, Bob has amassed a sizeable crowd of co-volunteers around the bar, watching as the two of you spin about the floor with Bob’s guidance - if only they knew you were holding onto him for dear life, trying your damnedest to make it look like you knew what the hell your feet were doing. 

As the fiddle fades out to piano and guitar, Bob slows to a stop, happily dipping you as applause erupts in the bar, cheers and whistles as he pulls you upright again. A drum kicks off above the applause, it slowly dying out as you and Bob stand chest to chest, catching your breaths. 

“Well damn, Robert. You’re just full of surprises aren’t you?” The shock of it hasn’t quite slipped off of you the way beads of sweat do, but the smile on his face is enough payment for him to get away with it.

“Wonder what Banquet bitch has to say about that?” he snarls, looking over his shoulder as the two of you begin to step into a mix line step/waltz as Morgan Wallen echoes through the bar. 

“Oh, I am sure he’s second guessing his choice of beer. That’s for sure.” A giggle leaves you as he tugs you closer to him as the music picks up further. His lips are nearly on yours, which has your already racing heart rattle in your ribcage. 

“Sucks to be him.” 

Sure does. 

The building might be named Outlaw’s but it might as well be called Sauna’s with the way your skin seems to be steaming. As the music continues through the floor of couples dancing to the slow song, you’re leaning in to him. “I’m roasting, can we step out for a second?” you propose, which he’s quickly obliging, weaving the two of you through the crowd and out the side door of the bar. 

The air is finally cold for the night, a welcome exchange to the stuffy interior of the bar. There’s a few folks out for a breath of fresh air, passing a lighter between them as they light each other’s cigarettes.

“Bob Floyd,” you speak with a bit of exasperation, witnessing a smirk erupt on his face. 

“That’s what my momma named me.” He chides, leaning against the railing of the steps the two of you are perched on. 

“I have learned far more than I ever thought I would about you, in no less than forty-eight hours.” You’re leaning up against the opposite wall, watching as the door swings open and nearly crushes into Bob. He’s quickly changing his footing so that he’s out of the door’s radius, and suddenly closer to you instead. 

“Is that a bad thing?” There’s a worried expression that takes his features - but it’s only there for a second. Guess that was what the whiskey was for. 

“Not particularly,” you hum, looking at him with a dazed grin. “I’ve had a spectacular time finding out about Robert Floyd.” Blue eyes have locked on yours at this point, both of you standing in the yellowing light above the doorway. He’s about to say something as someone comes up behind him, pushing him toward you leading to the inevitable. 

Bob’s hand catches himself just by your head, but his lips crash onto yours with an intensity that you haven’t felt since you tugged him into Payback’s closet. This isn’t the first time, and you’re not about to let it be the last. Which is why an encouraging lift of his chin guides him to step a little closer, paired with a tilt of his hat further back so that it blocks out the light and both of you can get lost in the depths of the kiss. 

As his tongue slips past your lips, his hand cupping your own chin, whistles and groans come from the smoking crowd surrounding you, leaving Bob to rip the hat from his head, and use it to shield the two of you away for just a little longer.

                                                   ════⋆★⋆════

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[sugar-petals]

sub!Xiaojun║🄰-🅉

↳ nsfw alphabet x femdom!reader

8k words | domestic au ♡ | sub!idols m.list

⚠️ rated m, smut & fluff, anal fixation, bondage, bi undertones, cheating mentioned (they don’t), creampies, kinky but also vanilla sex, pegging, poly mention, ruined orgasms, toys, unprotected & protected sex, mdni

↦ NOTE. | the xiaojun pretty boy agenda has arrived! 💥 includes not just 18+ notes, but romantic ones, too. enjoy the ride 👀

[★ read the alphabet on ao3] 

© 2017-2022 sugar-petals. all rights reserved, no reposts allowed. all depictions are fictional and for entertainment purposes only.

A ⇥ Aftercare

Honestly? That can take a whopping half an hour. Y’know, soaking your adorable lil’ mess of a honey bun in the bathtub. And, self-care is for tops too, joining yourself once he’s all soaped up. Sure, Xiaojun likes a little spoiling. But then again, he will never say no to some proper face-to-face cuddles and mumbled conversation in bed. Running an entire aftercare bath is sometimes too time-consuming. Especially in a moment when you should be snuggled together, which is the all-time classic that your boyfriend can’t go without to feel gentleness and safety.

It’s not like you can open the tap and tell each other okay three, two, one — right when the tub is full and the water is still warm we literally just came and the afterglow propels us to walk across several rooms! Sex planning doesn’t work like that, and you’ll be way too exhausted anyway. That’s not just shallow pleasure we’re talking about. Making love with Xiaojun is never 50-50. So, the foam crown is for special occasions and later afternoons, not evenings. Taking a bath can make him even more sleepy, we’re talking limbs like jello, than just having had one massive prostate orgasm alright.

So, pillow talk it is. You’re loving that. He talks with great clarity otherwise, but murmuring is a great way to come down. As much as he savors your minute-long back hugs when standing, like in a queue or going by public transport, facing each other when laying down feels much cozier in those golden hours. It’s very warm and it’s very chill. Snogging half the night away with your big ole blanket, covering both of you up to the shoulders, is a staple. He likes personal attention, being doted on, someone caring for him, and feedback. Xiaojun wants all that communication. You know how enormously picky he is with personal space, who he grants and gives it to. So wow, consider yourself the chosen one. The dog’s sure to join, Bella will accompany you on your way to the dreamland like a lucky charm.

B ⇥ Body Part

So you want to know all about the touch me, tease me, feel me up he’s got to offer. Understandable. Xiaojun is an absolute looker. Guess who’s bringing every pretty boy benchmark to the table? Like everything. At the same time. Slender legs, shapely arms, sparkling smile. Small ass waist, elegant neck, sculpted hands, ethereal face, a voice for the gods. His build is stunning, too. Luscious silky hair on top, some pretty impressive brows, smackable cheekbones (uh-huh), maximum huggable body, capacity to look good in any style, everything.

He’s not a snack, he’s not a menu, he’s the entire 5-star restaurant chain. Gotta thank his parent for what they’ve been cooking up. And yes, to add the cherry on top… A little hack: Watch for those smackable peach cheeks. You don’t have that information from me. You’ll be surprised what you’ll find in those pants, and he’s not shy about it. Come on, every good sub has confidence in their ass. It’s your free pillow, stress ball, massage pad, hand rest, and even the occasional seat. Given all those delectable features and dazzling appearance, what more can I say, though. Two words: Full package.

Xiaojun is one sight to see. He also fulfills the height requirement. As far as I’m concerned, and I know others have their own definitions: In order to be an extraordinary pretty boy, you must be below 5’10. Anything significantly above, if you’re a tower, that’s a glamazon in my book. Different category. Think Huening Kai or Hwang Hyunjin. Xiaojun being tiny? Means he’s easier to reach for kissing, hugging, carrying, pinning, looking at his face, the list goes on. His height contributes to the whole picture. It’s simply not enough to nominate one best body part about him. You wake up looking at this eyebrowly masterpiece and can’t decide where to kiss him first.

Like, how good-looking is he. We as a society need to admit that we’re talking about the overall head-to-toe prettiest member of Neo Culture Technology. Whatever neo technology happened to create his molecules, it was indeed a good one. The sexy, cute, hot, and handsome men are plenty in NCT, and the V in WayV stands for Visuals, but only one can be SM’s effortless hottie guy short king incarnate. You know, the one that’s not a little bit of everything (like Taeyong, the true jack of all trades), but straightforward simply pretty. Xiaojun is just that. No matter where you’re looking, there’s a treasure at the end of the rainbow. Imagine hitting the jackpot and nobody talks about it. Though everywhere you walk and talk as a couple, chaos and silent envy ensue.

C ⇥ Cum

I don’t have to tell you that he has a nice opaque texture. The one that has you like oh boy, keep it coming. We need more of this. You’re both on the same page here: Tender-loving sex with endless, endless creampies all night… Xiaojun’s biggest sinful dream. Going at it, maybe two is realistic until both of you feel the need to pause from discomfort, go to the bathroom, and start afresh some 20 minutes after. If it’s very late and the day was rough, he can’t knock himself out five times, y’know. Xiaojun likes a degree of pain, but he’ll also tire and be sleepy in your arms at some point. Which makes him look beautiful, and Xiaojun loves resting with you, but he still wishes he’d not collapse as soon.

His head’s not in the clouds. Xiaojun is well aware that you gotta go pee not to get an infection. And also, if you’re fucking him dry and milking and squeezing the shit outta him, so be it. C’est la vie. That’s what he’s there for. He won’t accuse you of draining his dick so much. But with himself, he’s kinda disappointed in himself for needing longer breaks. He’s the ambitious type, he wants to know he did a good job (!), and wishes bodies would work a little differently (don’t we all) — although he understands that most of nature’s peculiar anatomical design just works the way it does and has a solid reason behind it. It’s more of a sentimental issue: What he thinks he should resent himself for the most is that in his eyes, if only he loved you enough, things could be more consistent, and he’d last the extra rounds rather than passing out where you would fall asleep more slowly than him.

Long story short, two gotta suffice. Hell, nobody’s complaining except him. You think he does a great job. You know you’re loved. It’s good, he satisfies you well, and being vanilla with him is amazing. You really can’t blame your boy for his dripping fantasy and romantic streak, because he’s genuinely talented (as if nobody expected that — he’s Xiaojun, for goodness sake). And honestly. With your pussy wet like that, it feels almost like an extra creampie. Worry not, Xiaojun is definitely seeing the vision. Can you imagine how happy he is knowing you’re so hardcore turned on by his body? Yeah, he admits it, it strokes his ego. But, the knowledge of having a comfortable partner is great in and of itself. He really wants you to be happy and enjoy yourself. Which is why he’s making drama about his fatigue and overworking in the first place. It boils down to Xiaojun wanting more energy to dedicate to you. 

On exactly those more energetic days where you got yourself some of that sloppy prime dick, and it’s gorgeous, he’s more than eager to help you clean it all up, and very careful not to overstimulate you. Xiaojun and you sort of switch contraception around as you see fit. It’s basically a mix of everything and what works the best, however you see fit. He likes wrapping it, he likes the semen on his stomach, he likes cumming inside of you. If he does, you don’t need to crook one finger. Xiaojun will make due amends for causing this mess. He’s not a wildass whore like Yuta who will slurp his own jizz right out of you and get spit in his mouth for some proper seasoning on top (Lord knows how much of Yuta’s protein intake comes from sexual activity). Xiaojun prefers the gentle version of having a soft wet towel ready and helping you use a bidet if needed. And if he knows he’d be too tired to be a good boy and clean up, he’ll down a coffee and defy the odds, easy as that.

D ⇥ Dirty Secret

Something that can’t quite be kept so secret: Well… Boners. For your information — he has a lot of ’em. Loose pants working overtime. Yes, he’s horribly flustered.  Almost ashamed. He wants to keep it classy, there it goes again. You’re just such a turn-on in his mind and eyes, and his libido is as spontaneous as it gets. The things he has done to hide his erections. Very weird things. Now here comes the real secret: bratty Xiaojun won’t say no to being disciplined for his horny attitude, and getting his orgasms messed up in particular. He wants to go a little crazy and masochistic. Such a practical thing you fancy Xiaojun acting all out on all fours getting a due spanking. He masturbates with you filming the whole thing and giving him orders on whether and when to stroke or not. Every time he won’t obey immediately, that’s one day without sex. If he complies, it earns him another slap on the ass. Oh honey: You know exactly how to do punishment and reward. He does exactly as you say and suffers. Very good. Horny Xiao is taken care of.

Bonus! Another little secret, I know you’re curious… Xiaojun owns a hidden black notebook. Kept safely under his bed. Not the kind these people have in movies, you know the one, where they list and rate their sex conquests. It’s something else. In his book, one will find whole blocks of text, everywhere for pages and pages. Truth is, Xiaojun has been writing yet-undisclosed songs about you. I mean, not how he’s been sucking your tits. That one is replaying in his head already, he doesn’t have to write it down. It’s more intimate and sentimental stuff than that, thoughts he doesn’t find the words to say yet. This book remains tucked away. He might be a Leo as per his zodiac, but he doesn’t broadcast literally everything he does everywhere. The image of him in his gold-lined glasses, sitting on his bed with a pen, that’s pretty memorable. If you ever find out that the black notebook exists is up to him. Little do you know he deliberates whether to gift it to you as a birthday present. Now that’s an idea.

E ⇥ Experience

He’s still 22, man. Merely four years since turning legal, his foundation is literally still building, he’s growing into his sexual nature. Since Xiaojun is so slept on, he did not readily have someone to quite literally sleep on him a lot. There really should have been an older person to mentor him, or anybody ready to take him under their wing like you do now. He had a hard time finding somebody on eye-level who would be equal parts affectionate and sexually compatible.

Humor-wise, too: Very important. Vibing together. Being besties and not just being on a one-week hormone high that would crumble like a house of cards. Bickering with someone is all nice and good, he can be mischievous when flirting, but feeling natural and just clicking is a way different league. It’s better than too much tension and always being close to a fight. The idea of experimenting and becoming less clumsy had a great appeal, but the reality of other people’s complicated personalities and chaos-laden lives, that’s a different thing. He can’t treat those things as separate realms that have nothing to do with each other. Xiaojun sees his partner as a combination of those things, not just through a relationship lens.

Hit and run might feel tempting and many people think it would suit him (they just want a piece of the cake), but Xiaojun was always the skeptical type. He doesn’t want the peculiar encounter of a one-night-stand where a person is in their own world and he remains in his, and he just takes their body to get himself aroused. Thanks, he’d rather take his pillow and go. Wasting himself away is not on the list. He knew he would have been naive buying the praise of the person. He hears superficial and manipulative comments about his looks all too often, although the thought and late-night flirting at countless bars had been promising. Still, Xiaojun is not the type to be walking around open mind open heart, he learned the hard way that you can’t force chemistry, and he’d been too shy and awkward to just fuck everything that moves his way, whoever that may be. He’s clearly told you that his heart has been very selective and closed off.

You’d think people would have been queueing in his text messages and social media DMs, but the most he got? Teasing comments from friends and hyungs or the occasional entitled hookup request from whatever self-declared sexiest person alive which he blocks immediately. Xiaojun can’t stand rude texts, haughtiness, and always suspects people are just using him. Rather, he’d put up an emotional wall and be bitter, frustrated, by himself, distracting his mind, you name it. He wants to read something genuinely nice and not waste his time. He himself texts with a :) at the end of his paragraph, or a 🐶❤️ obviously. A little goes a long way, and he picks up experience bit by bit with you. He wants the strings attached kind of deal, that takes its time to fully form, establish, and settle.

F ⇥ Favorite position

Anything to show off his fantastic back arch. Do the math on which options apply. If you want a hint: It starts with P and doesn’t end with ENIS you dirty mind, but EGGING. You can drive it home like it’s his last, I swear. Xiaojun can deal with some decent girth, but it’s more about the length to reach deeper and deeper. He’s truly fearless. And good at letting go. Your view from behind? C’mon, everyone knows that some of the most beautiful landscapes are found in China. It’s nothing short of magnificent. Xiaojun moves like a champ. You’ll be shocked at how lusty he can get. The moans constant and exasperated, the waist busy busy, and his ass getting to know your hips a little more. Fancy that? Who wouldn’t. Xiaojun would break the Internet if any footage like that would see the light of day, which is exactly why you use a separate hacker-proof camera to tape him.

And, for any non-toy-involving encounters: Any position that is the most pleasant to you. I know, duh. Groundbreaking. Xiaojun’s rule of thumb: If it increases your stimulation and it’s easy to maintain, it’s a good one. If it feels weird and straining to you, or awkward, it’s a bad one. Those are the kinds of things that can’t be decided with rock, paper, scissors. You decide which is which for yourself, and he will adapt accordingly. Xiaojun’s brain works like this: He dismisses everyone else but when he loves someone, he goes like: Just do whatever darling, inspire me,  twist me all around as you wish. Whipped Jun, needy Jun, that’s so sexy.

As of lately, standard cowgirl with you bending a little forward (yay to kissies) is the unbeaten favorite for the two of you. First, a lame joke reason I know, because Xiaojun is totally into the renaissance of cowboy culture. So, he likes the name and idea of it. You really took your horse to the Jun Town Road, let me hear you say howdy. Second, it gives you control. No-brainer, the pace is yours and you can roam your hands all over that good good underneath you. All-access pass, well except for the legs but you can always change directions. Reverse cowgirl is only on the menu when he’s sitting down though rather than lying flat. That way, it’s easier to hug and your heads are closer together. And, the tempo is slower, which goes easier on his dick from that more difficult angle.

Third, because he can concentrate on his stamina and breathing rather than moving around like crazy himself. Xiaojun hustles real hard dancing and singing and doing social networks and full-body variety. He might feel a bit weakened by his schedule at the end of the day. Bugs him, but you find ways to work around that. It’s not like you want to be thrown in all directions, nor does he want to do that with you either. Cowgirl is super laid-back. Fourth, the penetration is not too deep nor too shallow. He neither wants to stir you up nor keep you understimulated, so it’s a healthy middle point to get your dick appointment on his pretty lap.

Fifth, every time you sink down on him, your clit makes brushing contact with his pubes. Guess why he keeps it bare and waxed right there. All those fake ass ball shaving ads can eat their heart out, Xiaojun did it before it was cool. No stubble, no straw effect (leave it to the cowboy barn), and enough place for extra lube. Sixth, Jun has that big ole biceps, it doesn’t just exist to look nice and sexy. He can always help you out. No worries running out of leg strength. He’ll make sure you can still walk anyway. Actually, float on air. When he slips out and you wind down smooching, you’re like wow… I’m thoroughly relaxed. Sex is supposed to feel good afterward, not hurt you. Xiaojun abides by that and has your back, and cooks you a tasty noodle soup after making you cum. Sounds like good fun? It is. All while you can look at that unreal face.

G⇥  Goofy

Very much so. He’s funny, reacts to praise by melting and doing a little dance. Ultra adorable. You often feel like he compares quite uncannily to a rabbit. He picked it up from Bella, and it’s weishenculture to be upbeat and clown around. He plays with her so much, it’s so lighthearted, cutest dog dad ever. On the other hand, goofing it up with the kinkiness like the spirit of Taemin and Baekhyun entered his body? Not so much. Xiaojun can be quite measured and ambiverted, level-headed about sex, while at the same time being more emotional than rational.

So, he’s pretty much both. Silly and anticipating. He’s intriguing to say the very least, a personality onion. But mostly, he’s simply itching for a good embrace. He often throws himself into yours out of seemingly nowhere. And he swoons a lot over you, which he reserves for his favorite people only. Mid-sex, it’s either serious or a random joke out of nowhere. He’s bratty enough to earn your reprimands („Xiaojun. Stop acting like a stripper.“), but he also got some major tunnel vision when it comes down to it. Yeah I know, another vision pun snuck in there.

H ⇥ Hair

Groomed, snipped, razored, cropped, buzzed, shortened, clipped, waxed, trimmed, plucked, lasered and conditioned. He takes care of himself. Your boyfriend smells very, very, very good, like raspberry lotion. There’s a pragmatic reason why Xiaojun is such a depilation enthusiast and goes the extra mile is not just for aesthetic reasons. Yeah, he doesn’t like his happy trail. He walks up at the dermatologist to get rid of that. But it also means less effort for post-coital cleaning sessions. He needs his kitchen counter smooth to cook you dinner. You know what I mean, man. Wiping a flat surface is easier when you’ve been creaming all over him, okay.

As much as the look of his super-trimmed pubes is sexy, and keeping it longer is more hygienic — no cuts, burns, ingrowns, irritant shaving balms and whatnot — Jun can’t stand the friction. Even with a lot of lubricant, the stubble would clearly scratch and hurt you. So, that’s off the list. Begone, hair. Same with pits and hairy toes. Taemin Jesus Lord and Savior lend us strength, why does humankind still have that. A quick dry shave can handle those when he’s in a hurry. To your house, what else. His eyebrows stay untouched. They’re fucking great. Best in the world. If I were you, I would paint them and put it in a museum. Thank heavens they’re out there for the world to see because this beauty needs to be displayed.

His actual head’s hairstyle is frequently varied, he’s trying things out. Xiaojun posts selfies asking what you prefer. This, or this, maybe this? He wants to get acknowledged by you and gather opinions. You think that dark brunette tips with dark roots is the best, he pulls it off. Straight or curled, you think both is attractive. It’s the hair dye that matters. In your eyes, too much bleaching and fancy crayon color isn’t his kinda thing. It also destroys the silkiness of his hair, you don’t want him to damage his scalp that way, plus it makes it look like you’re dating a different person. Which is way too strange even if it’s clearly Xiaojun, he fixes his bangs the same way, the way he talks. His signature debut look, you’re rooting for it.

Super white hair ain’t bad on him, sure. But you’ll leave that to old age. Gotta enjoy your black hair while you still have it. Xiaojun takes the advice and is flattered by the thought of you „still liking him as a crinkly old Chinese uncle sitting on the WayV dorm porch with his back problems“ as he puts it. „Handsome crinkly old uncle“, you correct him. Though, he might indeed get back problems from that amount of riding and rug burn. Rest in pieces, Dejun spine. The pros of aging on the other hand? Xiaojun’s cheeky boner will finally be back to normal. Though, he says you’ll still be a hot old auntie, so.

I ⇥ Intimacy

…comes with fewer words and very unambiguous movements. He’s better at telling you how he feels by moaning and dramatic groaning all over the place, and he keeps his talk to a minimum on some days because he’s in such a groovy indulgent mood. Granted, Xiaojun can talk that talk and shower you with compliments as much as you shower him. Regardless, it’s often just a string of „yes“ and „more…“, „here“, and „oh please, oh please“. It’s charming, and it’s hot.  You can’t ask for more. He’s keeping it simple, and he’s a master at whispering the good stuff in your ear to keep you on your toes: „Oh shit that feels the best, please do it again“ being one of his gems.

As a submissive who tends to be more delicate, Xiaojun doesn’t like being degraded verbally — physically humiliated yes, but not degraded by talking, big difference — so your dirty talk needs to be a little softened up. For comparison. The likes of Lee ‚Super-Sub‘ Taeyong, Yuta ‚A+ Ahegao‘ Nakamoto and Jung ‚Closet Freak‘ Jaehyun are fine with having their hair pulled all night long, and getting called a stupid slut at maximum shouting volume. Yuta’s just gonna say, is that everything? Are you sure? Don’t you have something wilder in stock? Xiaojun on the other hand likes his hair pulled (heh), but can go without being yelled at. A quick instruction — „bend over, spread your legs!“ — or some rules to abide by are enough for him to submit well.

Another thing. Intimacy is also about understanding to him, right. He took his time to figure out your love language to a T, which is so cute, and vital, and always helpful to avoid misunderstandings. This man, and I know it’s rare these days, still got some logic in his head. Sure thing, he’s pretty enough to play pretend being your guy bimbo if it comes down to it. Hanging onto your every word, enjoying how you’re dolling him up with sexy makeup. He wears it well. But at the end of the day, he takes these things outside the bedroom super seriously. He wants to figure out how you roll and what daily life intimacy looks like in your eyes. Very attentive listener.

J ⇥ Jack Off

Ruts against the bed, or your hips. Or the inside of your thighs, all with his cozy clothing still on. Yum. His boner problem quite frequently meets its violent means and consecutive end in his palm (not his favorite, but it will do) or a particularly aggressive fleshlight you picked out for him (his actual favorite). That’s the kind of „Ok I’ll just close my eyes and stick it out“ kind of orgasm. Well, literally sticking something out. Let me tell you, he doesn’t have any problems with circulation. Ain’t nobody ever call him Xiao Limpjun. He’s a shower rather than grower, and nicely firm rather than those oddly elastic dicks which are just ew. He knows it comes with a bigger risk of breaking his dick off somehow if the angles just aren’t right, but it immensely helps with choking the junior.

Xiaojun once losing control with his sexy hands has landed him in the nasty situation of shooting his cum everywhere, which he sheepishly cleaned up without anyone ever knowing. Can you imagine a sweat-faced, half-naked mess crawling around the room to scrub furniture? That laundry basket was a walk of shame. He vowed to take precautions next time, hence he wound up using the rather practical toy he got from you. It reduced the chance of blasting all around at a serious rate, does the work for him so his wrist won’t go numb (hello, he wants to jack you off later, he needs the energy), and it’s a quick fix.

K ⇥ Kink

Although he likes his fair share of loving body worship, Xiaojun has a thing for callous and sarcastic dommes who whip, smack, and choke his entire brains out every once in a while. Like, someone to put a boot on him. He likes to take a lot. Being at someone’s complete mercy gives him all kinds of vivid dreams. You once found him on the couch sleeping with his arms perched under his hoodie to pinch his nips, and he was whispering something like „Harder. Harder, please“, and it didn’t catch you that much off guard. Whenever he does that, it’s guaranteed that he’s having one of his sadistic gf fantasies.

Talking about your own kinks. He knows you like his arms and hands a little too much. Or is there such a thing as overdoing it? You literally almost pride yourself in perving over them. Xiaojun wants to cater to that. You know, as a treat. He’ll deliberately wear either too-revealing tank tops to make your eyes fall out — he’s here to take his honey’s mind off her worries — or the opposite. Baggy sweaters to conceal the goodies. Especially on days where you have some kind of appointment or serious thing going on. He’d easily distract you otherwise, or add horniness to the stress. Also: His harness collection stays in his wardrobe unless the mood is right, he promised. It’s a tiny little cardboard box, but it’ll grow in the future.

So, you appreciate Xiaojun for adapting his dress code to current situations. When you’re invited to a friend’s garden party? He’s letting it all hang out. Crop top alert. Cleavage, Xiddies (Xiaojun’s Tiddies), half the ribcage, collar bones, neck, shoulders, everything. Or a dangerously transparent muscle shirt that just. Shows even his areolas peeking through. All to spice up any upcoming ‚several people stand in a circle and talk about needless things‘ boredom. With you present, Xiaojun knows how to show off his sexiness in public so you will feel the rabid jealousy of people, which he knows is also something you wanna bask in. Going out by himself, you guessed it: He dresses in like three, four layers, and a big hat or hood on. Sunglasses are a must: Xiaojun’s got some major Medusa eyes, my friend. Looking at them would leave strangers enamored and petrified.

L ⇥ Location

Depends on the moment, but he’s readier to branch out than most. If the surface is even enough, or can be made even, Dejun won’t discriminate. Getting off with you is priority. If it’s steel or concrete, he will use his body as a shield so you won’t need to put your shins, shoulders, butt, or hands on any cold hard surfaces. His dick is the only hard surface at your disposal, the rest can go home. Jun won’t let you kneel on gravel, streets and shit. He doesn’t roll like that. If his back is against something unflexible, he will still manage and endure, best by focusing on you. The hood of your car might be his favorite to lean down against, it’s sturdy yet smooth enough to tolerate some downward movement. The wheels being spring-loaded most definitely helps as well.

He’s balanced enough to get in on inside a little garden house, your underground garage, the dry edge of the bathtub, the shaded balcony with a mat underneath, perched behind a steering wheel, a remote picnic spot between grass, or on clean kitchen surfaces of your choosing. If Xiaojun had a yacht, you’d be making out on every little nook and cranny, the wooden floorboards under the sun, any existing pole, well maybe not the guardrail. But he’s still an expert in having sex while standing, so. You get the idea. He’s flexible. He’s stable. He’s small enough for you not having to climb up a whole tree trunk, and he can lift you up and down for extended periods of time. So, any standing spot can be turned into a juicy ride.

As for the other neos being in the vicinity: They’ll probably lift an eyebrow at him carrying out his business right in front of their salad. Think about how confused Mark is gonna be. So, Xiaojun will avoid letting over 20+ people at once know what he’s usually like moaning. WayV on the other hand doesn’t even care, they’re so used to it. You want something, water, snacks, condoms running out yet? That’s the energy. Long as things aren’t messy and destroying furniture, free pass to fuck however you want. They think it’s fun, and they’re surprisingly unbothered. They’re used to you being a horny couple, and Ten has done things in there ten times as wild hence his name, they treat it as normal and no big deal after some time. Incredible, right. As much of a tease they are, they won’t get in the way of Dejun doing his thing, and you doing yours. They like you.

M ⇥ Motivation

When the curtains close, Xiaojun is deeply romantic and extremely kissy, but his heart is also beating damn fast in your presence. He seeks relief from the burgeoning curiosity, yet remains a little caught inside his shell. Some prodding does help. „Xiaojun? You’re all stuttering again. What’s on your mind, hm?“ Adrenaline aside. When it comes down to it, bonding and healing time is what drives him the most to ask if he can drop by at yours after he’s done practicing. He’s very comfortable with you. Sharing a living space is a good solution, as is the quality time that results. Neither of you regrets that Xiaojun moved in with you.

N ⇥ No

Gazing sideways when the other person doesn’t look. Oh, no, no. Loyalty is key. His opinion is pretty set in stone here. Unlike many of his contemporaries, he doesn’t like entertaining even the faintest thought or flirt with cheating. You, in several ways of the word, are his bias, and he is yours. And we’re not talking monogamy. We’re talking the big dupe. Conning, deceit, lies. It’s okay if you both invite someone real cute for a three- or foursome, or five for the sake of the argument. He’s no prude with that, he’s not possessive. He doesn’t deny that other people are also attractive (although, statistically, 95% of individuals fade into the background standing next to your boyfriend). And Xiaojun can take two dicks up his ass, okay. That’s not the problem here. He doesn’t even stretch that wide, he’s super tight, but he can handle.

Dejun knows you have great taste in people, too. You trust each other sleeping with a third party together. If you want another WayV guy to come and join, he’d be excited. You want Yangyang? You get Yangyang, and he’ll talk German to you between French kisses. But anyway. After all: They arrive for a night, it’s all planned out with consent. You both picked these lovers with care, took them home together, you are both in the know. Dating behind each other’s backs to alleviate emptiness, restraint, or boredom however: He’d not take it well and panic, and blame it all on himself. A concealed love interest operating in the shadows would terrify him. Whether that be someone he himself entertains or someone you have a full-fledged second life with, without him having a clue.

Checking out strangers in the streets or among either of your social circle… Xiaojun just does not let his eyes roam, and he doesn’t crush on others. He just can’t. Too much infatuation with you. If you loved and had sex with someone else behind his back, he’d be in limbo and sheer despair for months, feeling like an entire failure, and disappointed in what you created together. If he found himself sneaking out in the middle of the night, when you were supposed to be fucking or in each other’s arms, the guilt would drive him to consider punishing himself in some way. Even the idea of cheating gives your boyfriend hives, alongside a weird feeling of sadness mixed with disgust. He can’t stand betrayals and unfaithful lovers and pays special mind not to suddenly becoming one himself, leading by example. To sum things up: It’s about devotion.

O ⇥ Oral

Secretly enough, food play is his kinda thing. You found out by seeing him spend minutes at the fridge thinking you didn’t look. Nothing gross though, we’re not talking spaghetti acrobatics with the tomato sauce spilling everywhere. Just regular fruit, like watermelons, that he munches deliciously. Or maybe a big white creamy cake, you can imagine how arousing it is to watch him lick the icing off a generous slice. Cheat day is sexy day. But yes. He likes the dripping juices of fruit. The feeling of his lips enclosing something, the sweetness on the tongue. What kind of literal juicy secret might he be hinting at, let us all wonder? The answer is, he’s good at giving all kinds of head. Xiaojun is very concentrated and enjoys the challenge of coordination. He makes pretty expressive faces that you haven’t seen before, too.

Your boyfriend is chill all the way, he prefers giving over receiving. Some teasing, dragged out licks can make him whine during foreplay or while he’s laid down in full-body bondage. A slow blowjob will unwind and reward him after he took your crazy toys so well without being allowed to cum. Orgasm control all the way.  Gotta make his eyes roll back. But at the end of the day? He has an inner eat-pussy demon telling him to jump the gun and just ask: If he can wake you up, should you be okay doing that, with head on days he finds you tightly big spooned around to him in the mornings. Um, basically grinding all over him. And groping his ass. And even biting his ears and neck and arms. Especially biting. Which is usually the surefire sign that you’re already horny in your sleep. Xiaojun doing his daily warmup this way and counting one and one together offering his pretty pink tongue is more than welcome. His face absolutely is too gorgeous not to be between your legs, and the release is perfect to start your day.

P ⇥ Pace

Xiaojun is sure to be passionate, though most of the time, you won’t find him in raging hoe mode losing his composure. Steady riding, steady grinding. Thighs on thighs. Thighs in thighs. Forehead to forehead. In case you’re extra turned on and go buckwild, he can take it with his teeth clenching shut. If you ache to blow off steam and want him to really go at it from behind, his arms will do the work, and he can snap those hips for ya. But if you ask Xiaojun’s personal opinion: He’d prefer rhythmic, gliding strokes over slipping out every other second. That’s just stupid to him. It’s interesting because his dancing style can be very accurate. Super clean, geometric lines. Sleeping with you brings out his more sensual way of gyrating himself between your legs. Again, he leaves nothing to chance.

He’s very good at directing his thrusts rather than messing up your insides from all directions. Jun is intensely exact, and both of you direct your eyes downwards to witness every drop of wetness running down your lips from it. His hands adjust the angles via your hips. Easy business for him after the initial learning period. You always notice how Xiaojun exercises some major gym-inspired self-control, something that you on the other hand have discarded a long time ago. If you want to ravage him, you do. Pounce, he’ll be ready with his arms open and see for himself how he’ll survive the scratching. Where you mark him down, Xiaojun would be the kind of lover to lay his palm flat and hold on. If you were to describe his pacing in one word, it would be: elegant.

Q ⇥ Quickie

Hey Xiaojun you’re so fine, can we spend a little time? He’s great at quick romps and down for whatever you want. Backseat of the car with you enjoying a five-minute ride, back against the wall with your knee lifted against the side of his heavenly body, or classically in the shower when the room is warm enough. You’re keeping up strong eye contact and the speed is actually pretty tame. Neither he nor you would go at it like rabid animals right away. Kisses for warmup, hands for warmup, his sexy moaning, and the way he throws his head back, that does the rest. He knows exactly how to rub your clit for maximum pleasure, so you always allow his legendary hands to multitask.

R ⇥ Risk

Will risk it all for his noona kink. Who are we kidding. His Mars is in Scorpio, baby. He could steal the Declaration of Independence and nobody would notice. Xiaojun’s idea of danger is hidden behind heavy doors. Literally, drag this man’s ass to a dungeon already. Like moth to the flame, Xiaojun can’t deny he likes experiencing the thrill of a certain calculated panic. He’s okay being firmly tied down to something to the point of having to rely entirely on you. In fact, he doesn’t even consider rigging that risky. He blindly trusts you. Most probably, because he also wears blindfolds exceedingly well while we’re at it.

The only thing he’d consider too reckless is anything too advanced (say, that’s hooking up your sub to some electro-shocker device, or suspending them upside down) and banging on a piano. It’s too valuable for that, although he gets why that would be sexy. He can play for you as the literal fore-play.

S ⇥ Stamina

Even after everything we’ve established, come on: Xiaojun’s stamina is pretty banging. Just not very high /by his standards/ which are absurdly strict. You’re not gonna talk it out of him, he’s gotta realize himself. But don’t underestimate his self-improvement and athletic ability. Those gym hours also count into his superb Greco-Romanian physical form. Okay I’m exaggerating, but he does look like a statue, and he’s super fit.

He’s also good at creating a great transition between rounds and makes for an amazing lay when it comes to lazy sex in the middle of the night. In one phrase, Xiaojun is the expert of the intermezzo. Which is very underestimated. If you don’t know what to do in breaks and transitions, you will have a lackluster experience. Xiaojun is big-brained enough to know those essentials. Let me put it like this: You don’t walk out of that bedroom having to lie to yourself.

One of his biggest pros is that Xiaojun does not get sexually bored. Why? Because he knows how to enjoy making love. It’s not about going from one position to the other in record time, or pounding the living hell out of you in twenty seconds. He’s extremely, and I’ll emphasize it again, extremely deliberate. He has a lot of zen going and that’s good for him. And: Good for you. Nobody is as fixated on getting you off consciously as Xiaojun. He also doesn’t lose appetite for some delicious making out and doesn’t demand to go more and more and even more extreme as time passes. He might dream about improving his third-round skills a little too much, but other than that, he’s down to earth about his wishes. You really like that your boyfriend stays grounded, or doesn’t pretend he’s Ten on a Friday night. Kun would be proud.

T ⇥ Toy

Xiaojun’s showing his inner geekin’ weirdo when costumes are involved, but this is about toys, not roleplay. He needs something way up his ass. As we know, he has an ass to talk about, not the absolute jiggliest, but it’s there. He’s down with the feeling and you’re convinced that his prostate must be like overactive or something. The doc says he’s fine, so the only answer is called nicely-shaped silicone toys.

The very spot needs constant heavy-duty stimulation. Xiaojun can’t help his peach fixation and dicks himself down with lord knows which vibrator when you’re not around, but hey: Nobody clean as him. Knowing how to prepare is his specialty. He comes to rub and tease his ass on your lap whenever he senses that you’re in the mood for something. Xiaojun, quit twerking. Just pull your pants down.

One time you decided that the tables were turned, and you made him give it to you doggy style with a fuckton of lube, hands clinging on the sides of your ass. Since Jun is not working with a massive tool, you can imagine how well he slipped in. The stimulation was pretty sweet and perky, it surprised you. Xiaojun on the other hand, he did not come very far. Literally. He came. In one and a half minutes. You think his brain must have imploded and he lost it. You know that feeling when you’re loving something but it’s too much? He had it.

U ⇥ Unfair

Nope. Xiaojun, ever the trickster you think, is damn fair with his lover. He pays a lot of attention for things to be equal. If you want unfair choose Ten, or if you look for a lunatic sub, the crazy motherfucker Yangyang. Xiaojun on the other hand has a surprising code to go by. A favor he will return, a teasing he will follow up with the real deal, and if there’s a way to masturbate you when he’s already finished, he will never hesitate.

V ⇥ Volume

Aside from the fact that he’s vocal in several languages at once? In typical fashion, Xiaojun has even more tricks up his sleeve just because. But more on that in just a second. We need to talk about how he expresses himself first. Definite big yes. You love listening to him. Call it Love Talk, honey. He’s the type you wanna record on your phone so you can listen to it again way later. Technology’s useful in kind of immortalizing him, actually. One language is already hot enough, and he just comes at you being this sexy polyglot? Now that’s a turn-on. Cantonese, Mandarin, Korean, English. Let that sink in. He can set any mood he wants.

When we’re talking date night noises: Gives you the whole range like he’s Mariah. Silent and breathy, faint and whimpering, loud and in pain, opera singing… I’m just kidding. It really is just all about going with the flow. Xiaojun isn’t really cookie-cutter in bed, it’d be hard to generalize how he sounds, with a vocal skill like that anyways. As for you, he has an inexplicable schtick for someone who can be stern and silent. A stoic top, if you will. He doesn’t need you producing a whole novel or talking like there’s some kind of script. Xiaojun got eyes to read your body language, and the rest of his senses to know everything else. He’s audible enough — and on pitch, of course — to fill the room himself. His moans are like therapy. He’s very easy on the ear.

But the loud and painful one, we need to get back to this, though. I’m gonna hit you with a psychology trick. Know a man’s playlist and you know who he wants as a partner. Know a lady’s, and you know who she wants to be. The fact that Xiaojun loves none other than Red Velvet tells you everything. Like listen. He believes in femdom supremacy, heavily armed supernatural girlfriends going psycho, strong female character fight mode, bad boy slander, bfs under control, toxicity,  weirdness, obsession, witches, unhinged sorority violence, spooky girls kicking and beating up men, shooting them, axe murdering them, deceiving and trapping them, or maybe torturing those petty boys if they’re merciful enough. You name it.

Show me one major Red Velvet music video where guys are treated and sang about nicely. Last time I checked, they went Robin Hood on some pizza delivery dudes while running their coven. Your guy Xiaojun is literally vibing and dancing to this for fun. Ask yourself what it means. I guess… you don’t really have to bring out a vile, predatory, and murderous side of yours and acquire a real body count. It doesn’t need a whole femme fatale makeover. I don’t think you need a whole crossbow either (perhaps a riding crop instead, scaling down a little). But maybe he likes to be handled a little roughly, or, say… some expertlyly done knife play makes him scream out loud. Just saying. He likes Red Velvet. Something is up with that.

W ⇥ Wild Card

You found out that the kinky side of Xiaojun is a dog on a leash kinda submissive. In a world of catboys, he is the puppy. Don’t get me wrong. You can never have enough kitties. Taeyong and Ten are legally permitted to wear as many cat ears and say as many meows as they want to. But Xiaojun is taking sides. You think he’s into weirder ways of dressing up, like this man walked up in a skintight slutty Venom costume once and stuck out his booty. And you went like, are you a certified monster fucker, do I need to grow some big throbbing tentacles after consuming a magic potion?

But he’s surprisingly different behind closed doors. He’ll crawl on his knees or caress his cheek against yours. Sometimes, he likes to stick his tongue out in weird ways, not even noticing it until you take a picture. So, that’s pretty cute. Xiaojun is a preppy kind of boyfriend in terms of fashion anyway. Lately, you buy him presents that all have to do with either personal care or clothing items. Xiaojun getting all pampered with gifts like perfume and satin chokers and delicate chain necklaces, you can imagine that he’s gonna wear this weekly, if not more often. So, a leash is not the only way to adorn him.

X ⇥ X-Ray

As nice underneath his clothing as what you can see clothed. After all, Prince Xiaojun is pretty all over. This is no exception. He doesn’t sparkle, but it’s close. His dick is perfectly small-to-moderate and compact, straight throughout and only slightly bendable, but otherwise flexible at the very base. So that’s interesting. No major veins to be seen. The tip is rather flat but fleshed-out like a rosebud, and hell yeah, he’s properly cut. Like completely. Which is very nice and feels twice the heaven. The entire shaft has a nice symmetrical texture that’s part vertically structured, part fine and smooth, the skin isn’t extremely thick. If it couldn’t get any better, his balls are nice and rounded, being all snug next to another. You get what I mean, rather than oval and strung together by excess skin. In other words: Very plump and full. Something you appreciate.

Beside the ass pics and selfies, they constitute the bulk of pictures you have of him on your phone because frankly, you’re obsessed. Covered in your cum, his cum, fake cum, clear lube, his spit, your spit, the fabric of his tee, or nothing at all fresh out of a warm shower, which means they’re kinda swollen. Makes it even better. Gotcha. You’re one picture away from putting that into your damn wallet. You love sitting down on them, you love feeling them, you like to squeeze and pinch and bite your heart out. Needless to say, Xiaojun is shy about that, and of course sensitive, but he got used to you being extremely zealous. You haven’t exactly had a passion for balls before meeting him, and you doubt someone else could be this appealing. But Xiaojun’s equipment seriously changed your mind. He simply doesn’t compare.

Y ⇥ Yearning

You mean, in today’s perfectly elegant terms, simping. Your soft-spoken, slightly extra honey deer Xiaojun has perfected the please-please begging pupper eyes, but will only use it on things you gladly like to give to him. Such as a little squeeze to the bum. Or a firmer one, on hornier days. Grab it like it’s pizza dough, you only live once. Booty aside, he really misses you a lot when you can’t be together for some work-related reasons, damn you capitalism reason number 507,063.

If your job has you traveling somewhere for two weeks, Xiaojun is pretty preoccupied during the daytime, but it’s still unusual. His bedroom eyes have nowhere to go, what to do? At night, the full realization hits and he’s miserable slouching in your sheets. And mighty cranky that he feels this way. He takes those things out on writing something, but it never satisfies. He needs company, you to giggle with. He can depend on himself, and he has friends, but it doesn’t cut.

Although he has a routine — he can game, he can work out, he can dance, he can eat — Xiaojun really falls into a rut being by himself. He might call up Ten and get sound advice because Chittaphon is a wise man, but a few phrases still can’t substitute for your presence and cuddles, nor your tone. Which is why you leave him voice messages pretty often. He really is obsessed with the way you speak, by the way. Xiaojun’s hanging on your lips.

Z ⇥ ZZZZ

Sleeps like a very exhausted angel. Xiaojun needs his green tea before sleeping, it’s his habit. Is very silent, turns often, and frequently has his eyes deceptively open but he’s not awake. Takes deep breaths and sleeps in lots.

[★ read the alphabet on ao3] 

++ FINAL NOTE - hope you enjoyed, i wanted to go wild & create a more lengthy and in-depth version of his classic format. makes me want to write more about nct, this group got so many subby gems in it. i’ve written stuff with ten sporadically but it’s my first time publishing something so long about wayv so excuse any mistakes ✊

[ masterlist ]

© 2017-2022 sugar-petals. all rights reserved, no reposts allowed. all depictions are fictional and for entertainment purposes only.

[crimsonfic]

Giyu Tomioka Fanfiction - Transparent Heart

Gifted Y/N

10 Chapters

Subjects: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Mature language, Suggestive language, Blood, Gore, Death, Humor, Violence, Pain

Remember: Your character has a nickname. 💙

Chapter Five

8k Words

Chapter Includes: Fluff

You woke up early the next day. Not only were you excited and anxious about going to Giyu's place, but the kids were too. They were already awake waiting for you.

At breakfast it was all they could talk about. Even as they helped you with housework. The girls asked you to do their hair really nicely so they could wear the kanzashi Giyu bought them, begging you to wear yours too. In the end you wore your hair clips, one on either side, your hair parted down the middle. You'd given Rainbow a high bun and Princess two lower buns. You gave Emiko a simple ponytail, because she wanted to be able to shake her hair. Kylo wore his hat and Ichiro packed his cards.

You had to stop in town to drop off a small order where you planned to bring something as a gift to Giyu. You had no idea what to bring but you had time to think about it.

By the time everything work related was finished, it was mid day and you were finally headed to town. It felt a little silly as you were all overdressed making a delivery. All of you were dressed in your best and nicest clothes. Visiting his house had turned into a really important event, so the kids were eager to help you find the perfect gift for him. Considering none of you have ever been invited as guests to other peoples houses before you spent a lot of time looking around. In the end you had chosen a potted blossom plant, a really nice serving tray, and a large set of lacquered wood chopsticks.

You also bought Ichiro a wooden carved necklace too, since he was the only one who didn't have something new to wear. He picked it out himself, and you made a note to keep in mind he seemed really interested in jewelry.

After all your shopping, you were finally on your way to Giyu's house. A crow flying above and keeping pace with you every so often, kept Emiko amused on your short journey. When you made it to the place your instructions directed you your mouth dropped open.

"Why are we stopping? How much further? I'm really excited." Rainbow said as she looked at you, the potted flower in her hands.

"We're here." You said.

"But there's just- wait. No way." Kylo said as he looked ahead, back the way you came, and to his left at the trees and shrubbery lining for at least a mile. "That means....he lives there?" He pointed to the gate to your right.

"Yeah." You answered absently.

This gate, was just an entry way to the large estate almost hidden behind the tall stone gate.

You looked at your notes one more time to be sure and then back to the gate. You opened the gate and did your best not to let your jaw drop again. This was a beautiful home. The pathway leading up to his front door was comprised of white and gray stones that seemed to be glistening in the bright sunlight.

"Come on." You gestured to the kids to walk ahead of you onto the property.

"Wow!"

"This is the best house I've ever seen."

Princess and Ichiro exclaimed right after the other.

You let the gate close behind you and urged them forward. "Everyone, be on your best behavior okay?"

"Yes, Greenie." They said in unison making you laugh at their timing.

"Don't touch anything unless he tells you and make sure you take your shoes off immediately. Also no running at all."

"Got it." Princess nodded, prompting the others to make their own sounds of acknowledgement.

Up on the veranda now, you all finally made it to the front door. You were standing at the back with Kylo to your right, Rainbow on his other side. Ichiro in front of him, Emiko in the middle and Princess in front of you.

Ichiro knocked with the door knocker and then stepped back. You all waited quietly, except Emiko who was humming happily. Aside from her, the only other noise was a faint sound of flowing water. It was quite melodic.

Almost a minute later, the door opened to reveal Giyu. His eyes immediately landed on yours but they drifted to the kids as they greeted him.

"Good afternoon Giyu!"

"Good afanoo Yuyu!" Emiko smiled

If you weren't mistaken you could see a small smile on his lips after hearing her speak.

"Good afternoon everyone. Come in." He said in his soft voice. He stepped aside, allowing the kids to walk in first. His eyes lingered on you as you walked through the door. He took in your appearance slowly, from head to toe. It made your cheeks warm up, seeing him 'check you out' for the first time.

Everyone took their shoes off like you told them, it was only you they were waiting for now.

"Mr. Giyu, we got these for you. Thank you for inviting us." Rainbow spoke finally of the gifts they were holding.

"Oh? You didn't have to do that. Thank you." He answered politely. He took the plant she held out to him, and took the tray and box of chopsticks into his other hand.

"You can follow me, I'll show you around." He added before turning around. He led you all past a room and then to the kitchen where he sat the tray and sticks down on the counter. Some of the kids gasped at the size of the kitchen. It was rather large and spacious, and all the equipment looked clean and new.

He showed us the dining room next which was also large and spacious. His table was clean and shiny, and he had plush pillows inside his floor chairs. They were a deep blue color and they looked full and comfy. He sat the plant we brought on the shelf behind the table. Next he took us to a bathroom, he was just pointing it out, but when Princess asked if we could look at it he opened the doors for us.

He had a shower and a bathtub in there and it was huge. It was also just as clean and neat as everything else.

"Wowwww" Princess said as she peered inside.

You were all probably a funny sight gaping in the doorway until he suggested you go in. None of the kids touched anything, your words on their mind, but they did walk around and look at every single thing.

The next room he showed you was the living room which like everything else was spacious. Rich royal blue pillows accented the couch and chairs. Here, the coffee table and furniture were all shiny too.

He led you all up stairs next where it was just bedrooms, nothing special to see to him, but to you, they were. They were spacious and the designs on the doors were vivid with stokes of blue, gray and white. There was another bathroom up here that was even larger than the one downstairs. The last room upstairs was apparently a game room and office. There was a small shelf that held books and games against one wall. There was a board game sitting on the small table in the middle of the room, while the desk sat sandwiched between two shelves against the opposite wall. The front wall, opposite the door that had all of the windows, cast the room in a soft orange glow. The kids loved the room of course.

"Where's your room Mr. Giyu?" Ichiro asked.

"Downstairs."

"How come we didn't see it?"

The truth was Giyu was nervous to show you his bedroom because he didn't want you to think he was uppity. He took his room seriously, and it showed.

"You want to see it?" He asked not making eye contact with anyone.

"Yes!" They exclaimed.

"Only if you want to show it." You said quickly after the kids answered. You figured there was a reason he hadn't shown it to you, and you didn't need to be nosey.

He turned from the doorway, motioning for you to follow him. When back down stairs he led you to a door that was closed, with a design of the ocean with a full moon cast above. You didn't notice this door before, it had its own hallway and when he took you down it you realized there was so much more house.

He opened his bedroom door and you guessed it. Everyone gasped. He had a large four poster bed against the left wall, with plush blue, white, and silver pillows, comforters and blankets. The bed was framed by two night stands that held lamps. At the foot of the bed was a large chest situated underneath a comfy looking bench topped with a plush blanket. Directly across from the entry door was a sliding door that led to a beautiful garden with a pond. The wall across from the bed held a large armoire and a door that was open to a bathroom. From where you were standing you could see there was a garden view in there too.

"Whoa!" Rainbow exclaimed first.

"Ooooh" Emiko mused.

"Fit for a king. I'd expect no less from you." Princess nodded in approval.

Making you laugh loudly at her remark.

"I've never seen a bed that big before." Kylo said in awe.

"It looks so fluffy too." Rainbow seconded.

"It's amazing here. Your house is awesome." Ichiro told Giyu.

"Thanks." Giyu replied. "You can make yourselves at home, just don't....open any closets."

"Wait, but we can touch other stuff?" Princess asked, looking at Giyu then to you, that back to Giyu.

Something about the way she asked the question was worrisome.

"That's not what that means." You emphasized.

"Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on her." Kylo said giving her a stern stare.

"Are we allowed to go outside?" Ichiro asked the both of you.

"If you don't touch anything." You replied. "And don't leave out the gate. And don't be so loud."

"Okay. So can we?" He asked again.

"Yeah, go ahead."

They quickly shuffled to the door in the living room and exited the house.

"You seem stressed." Giyu commented.

"I just don't want us to be bad guests." You giggled.

"You won't be." He smiled slightly before pulling you into his room by your hand, and then closing the door.

"You look beautiful." He told you, still holding your hand.

"Thank you. You look handsome." You replied.

"Really?" He asked.

"Yes. I like seeing you dressed this way." You gestured to his relaxed look. He was wearing black jinbei, accented by thin white diamond shapes. Perfect for the summer. You wish he was wearing shorts though, so you could see his calves. You’ve never seen them.

"Why?"

You shrugged. You won't tell him out loud why. He didn't need to know that you enjoyed looking at his physique and the lightweight clothes made it easier to catch glimpses of. You also like his work uniform for the same reason.

"Okay." He answered pulling you closer. "Can I kiss you?"

"Yes you can." You smiled.

This kiss was tender. He rubbed circles on your hand with his thumb, before letting his other hand come up to your face to gently caress your cheek. You could've melted into a puddle on the floor. You've never felt such feelings that affected your whole entire body before.

When he pulled away you were dazed and short of breath. Half of your weight was on him, you were truly weak.

"What are you doing to me?" You smiled, half joking, half serious about the question.

There was a slight pause before he started to laugh. Of course that also had an effect on you, him laughing out loud was still very new, very exciting, and very cute.

"I think you've bewitched me." You joked.

"Why do you think that?" He smiled.

"Because you make me feel like I'm floating. Kind of dizzy. A little hot, and slightly tingly." You laughed.

"Oh, that sounds rough. I'm sorry." He smiled down at you, but his eyes softened.

Effectively making what you just complained about worse.

"You're good at this." You slightly whispered.

His blue eyes were sparkling with amusement now. You were seeing so many new expressions and emotions your heart was hammering in your chest. "At what?"

"Making me fall in love with you."

When his eyes widened, yours did too.

I did not just say that out loud, you thought to yourself.

It's too soon, you're going to push him away. He doesn't need to know you're thinking about that.

You started laughing awkwardly as you pulled your hand away, taking a step back.

"So, can I explore your bathroom?" You didn't wait for his answer as you walked by him into the bathroom.

It was a nice bathroom, with a large, wide tub, and a stone shower. The window above the bathtub had a view of the garden. The counter that held the sink had drawers and you started opening them.

Internally you were cringing. You get so impulsive and weird in these awkward situations and wish you didn't. It's a lot to adjust to. Never experiencing emotions like this before or intimacy with a person, was proving too much for you. You didn't want to walk away from him and be fidgety but your body had you moving before you could think about it.

Giyu came to stand in the doorway, watching you carefully. He didn't know what he should say to you. Would knowing that he feels the same way make you run away too? He knew this was uncharted territory for you and there was a lot that you had to work through. You were alone for a very long time, so it would take you a while to adjust to sharing your feelings and emotions with him without being afraid of the result. You only knew how to be alone and how to take care of other people, now you needed to learn how to be vulnerable. He understands it's hard, you've never had to share your thoughts, and you've never had a companion. He's the first person your age you've ever been around.

That old man that cared for you kept his emotions at bay so you wouldn't feel pain from his loss, and that's what you think you should do too.

It's why you're hardly serious with the kids you care for, you don't even allow yourself to get upset at them, you don’t often tell them you love them, you're afraid to show your real true emotions because you feel like everyone will leave you, can leave you, or will be taken from you. And the loss will be easier if you don't get attached.

Even after he confronted you, you masked your fear by being sarcastic, you masked your care for the kids with silence, you masked your anger at him with indifference.

He could read you like a book. He watched you. Studied you. He knows you. And he loves you.

So he would help you, by being honest and open with you. You made it impossible for him not to, but he would do better from this moment forth. He's no stranger to masking his emotions and burying his feelings to move forward, but he didn't want to do that with you, and he didn't want you to have to do it either.

"Y/N."

"Hm?" You called.

"Come here please."

At the tone in his voice you looked at him quickly. It wasn't his usual cool almost monotone voice, he sounded sad.

Ignoring the palpitations happening in your heart you approached him. As you approached, his hand easily grabbed yours, and almost seamlessly he was leading you from the bathroom to the bench in front of his bed. He didn't sit down however, he stood in front of it, turning to face you.

Without another word he let your hand go and wrapped his arms around you. It wasn't tight, but it was snug enough that you knew you couldn't get out of it, not that you would want to. Your arms down at your sides, came up to wrap around his waist. Very gently, he pushed your head onto his chest. Then wrapped his arm back around you, ever so slightly pulling you tighter to him.

As the seconds continued to tick by, you felt your body relax from the initial surprise. Then you started to feel comfort. Caged in his arms, feeling the steady beat of his heart, you started to feel warm. You've never felt strong arms wrapped around you like this. You've never laid on anybody like this. It felt good.

You were probably standing there for almost 2 full minutes, when Giyu let one of his hands run down, then up your back. Your breath hitched at the new feeling of comfort. There was fluttering in your chest and gut, but you didn't know what it meant.

You held him tighter, shuffling further into him, adjusting to the new feeling.

Maybe 30 seconds later, both of his hands were gliding up and down your back. They'd reach just above your hips then slid up to your shoulders, before going back down again.

You let out a relaxed sigh as it felt like you were dropped down into a warm bath. There was nothing else to compare it to, you've never felt so engulfed by warmth. The bath reference didn't even do it justice.

When his head rested atop yours, something snapped. Your breath caught in your throat, but was let out with the gentle glide of his hands back up to your shoulders. It's like he pushed the breath out himself and then, you were crying.

One arm quickly wrapped back around you while the other rubbed up and down your back above his arm.

He comforted you while you cried, not minding at all that your tears soaked through his shirt. What he didn't like however, was how silent you were. It was better than nothing though.

"I'm falling in love with you too." He spoke softly above your head. "You're not alone in this, we'll fall together."

You bit your lip to keep quiet. It felt like something was going to rip out of you at his words.

"You'll never be alone again. Not in this, and not in life. I'll always be with you. And.......those kids, who adore you, will always be with you too. You will never be alone." He reiterated.

That's what did it. That's what made you sob. It hurt but was also soothing. You didn't have time to even think about how loud you were or how much you were crying.

When your knees weakened Giyu sat you both down, cradling you to his chest. He let you cry on him until you couldn't anymore. Until you physically exhausted yourself. He laid you down on the bench, covering you up with the blanket before he left the room.

He went outside to find that the kids were still out there. They appeared to be playing some type of game with the pebbles and stones from the garden.

When they noticed his presence they stopped. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Sorry, we just....uh...sorry don't be mad." Rainbow trailed off.

"Why would I be mad?" Giyu asked.

"I...well because they were placed strategically we didn't know if we should move them but then....we did."

"They're just rocks, it's fine." He answered.

They looked relieved.

"Where's Greenie?" Princess asked.

"She's sleeping. I have a favor to ask of you all."

—————

You woke up to soft pokes on your cheek.

"Mama." Emiko whispered.

"Greenie." Ichiro emphasized.

"Don't start." Rainbow hissed in a whisper. "Let her be."

"She's been 2 for almost 4 months now."

"She will figure it out." Kylo whispered. "Now quiet."

"Greeniiiie." Princess whispered, poking your cheek again, to which you opened your eyes this time.

"Were you crying?" Rainbow gasped.

"No." You lied. You pushed yourself up to see them all huddled around you on the bench in Giyu's room, the only light coming from outside as the sun was just about set.

"Mr. Giyu told us to come see if you wanted to eat dinner with us or in here. Because he'll bring it to you, so you can rest." Kylo said.

"Oh. I'm eating with you all."

"Are you sure? You look awful?" Ichiro said.

"Hey." Rainbow pinched him.

"Ow! What! She does. She needs to go back to sleep."  He said rubbing his newly bruised cheek.

"I'm fine. Just had a rough dream." You swung your legs in front of you, stretching before standing up.

"Okay well, get washed up. Meet you in the dining room." Princess said before turning to leave. Kylo and Ichiro followed behind her.

You laughed lightly at her instructions. She sounded like the adult.

Rainbow and Emiko waited for you to finish washing your hands and trying to make yourself look more presentable, what with your eyes being all red and slightly puffy.

When you did all you could you headed to the dining room. Emiko in your arm and Rainbow holding onto your hip in a hug, because she didn't buy that you weren't crying.

When you made it to the dining room you almost forgot how nice it was, resisting the urge to say wow when you walked inside. Giyu was sitting at the head of the table while Kylo, Ichiro, and Princess sat on one side of the table leaving the opposite three chairs for you, Rainbow and Emiko.

"Hi." Giyu smiled at you when you sat down.

"Hi." You smiled back, fighting back the blush you felt blooming on your face.

"Mr. Giyu really didn't let us help him cook." Princess said randomly.

You laughed as you looked over the spread of food on the table, also looking at their individual plates, feeling almost bad that he had to cook so much.

"Did you say thank you?" You spoke.

"Yes!" They replied in almost a domino affect.

"Did you?" Ichiro laughed.

"Thank you for dinner Giyu." You replied smiling at him once again.

"You're welcome." He nodded.

"So, what did you guys do? Did you have fun?" You asked them as you fixed your plate and helped Emiko with her balance as she sat on her knees to eat.

They told you, but it seemed like they were leaving something out from the way they kept laughing. But you left it alone and continued listening to their banter and jokes.

When everyone was finished, and everything was cleared you offered to wash the dishes but Giyu refused to let you. He did however let the kids do them, after they raced to collect them he really had no choice. So now it was just you and he sitting in the dining room still. Emiko even left with them which you thought was very funny. Sometimes she thinks she a big kid and it seemed that way today.

"How'd you sleep?" Giyu asked.

"Good I guess. I'm sorry about that by the way." You scratched your shoulder as you looked down awkwardly. You were so embarrassing.

"Don't be. Not for that." He told you seriously, though he held a soft look in his eyes.

Nodding you looked away again. You couldn't help it.

"Stay the night."

Your eyes snapped up to look at him. You heard him, but you had to make sure you heard him correctly.

"Huh?"

"Stay the night." He repeated. "With me."

Your mouth opened and then closed again. "I-um.....I...don't know."

"Why?"

"Uh...well....the kids. I um...I can't...shouldn't...we don't want to put you out."

"You can't. There's more than enough space." He smiled softly.

"Oh...right...um...we don't have anything with us-"

"That's not a problem." Giyu interrupted. "I have extra everything for guests."

You raised an eyebrow at him in surprise. "You do?"

"Yes."

"You have guests over?"

"N-no...but it doesn't stop me from being prepared" he answered a bit nervously.

You laughed lightly. "I guess."

"So will you stay?" He asked again.

"Let me think about it. Is that okay?"

"Of course." He smiled at you, his hand coming up like he was going to touch your face, but he seemed to think better of it, and put his hand down.

You leaned forward, ready to ask him about it when Emiko came running into the room.

"Mama! Toilet please." She said shaking her hands at you.

"Okay, okay, let's go! " You answered quickly with the same urgency she used, getting up from the floor and picking her up to dash to the bathroom.

You made it right on time. After helping her wash her hands though, she clung to you, not wanting you to put her down.

"What's up Miko?" You asked, searching her face.

"Bath and bed please. With bubbles too." She smiled pointing to the bathtub.

"You have to wait until we get home. We can leave soon."

She shook her head no. "No I don't want to."

"Huh? That's not how it works Emiko, you can't just bathe at any-"

Your words were cut off by her throwing her body backwards, dropping all of her weight.

"Hey!" You semi shouted, in surprise. Once you got a better grip on her, you laid her on the floor. You were not going to entertain her tantrum right now. "Bye."

She didn't even say anything as she just laid there. Not even fazed about you preparing to leave her.

When she was almost out of your sight you paused. Waiting on her to get up. But after 15 seconds she didn't. She was seriously upset huh?

Shrugging your shoulders you walked away, back to the dining room.

You sat down and Giyu looked at you expectantly. "She threw a tantrum." You told him.

"Oh." He nodded with a sympathetic smile.

There were a few beats of silence, you were ready to fill it yourself, but the kids came out of the kitchen.

"Can we check out your game room before we leave?" Ichiro asked, smiling heavily at Giyu.

Giyu nodded his head, "of course you can."

He stood and held his hand out to you. You took it and followed him upstairs, with the kids in tow. Emiko flew out of the bathroom as she heard you on the steps. Running to catch up to everyone else. Upstairs the kids looked through his belongings in pure awe. Giyu even let them play the games and read his books. You didn't exactly want to leave, and their excitement wasn't making it any better, but you couldn't walk home so late with them. Sure they would be fine, you could protect them but you didn't want them to see any demons. That's been your biggest fear with them, wanting to keep them from seeing any so that they wouldn't be so starkly reminded of the tragedies that brought them to you.

"Guys, I'm sorry, but we have to get going," you told them after quite some time of letting them play.

"Awwww!" Rainbow whined.

"Can we just stay please?" Princess said. "I promise we'll behave.

You were about to protest again but when you looked at Giyu you saw a hopeful look on his face.

It tugged at your heart and you found yourself giving in. You looked from his face to all of the kids. A combination of puppy eyes, batting lashes and smiles.

"Just how much guest stuff do you really have here Giyu?"

When he caught on, a cute smirk appeared on his face. "Let me show you." He said before gesturing for you to step out of the room before him.

Turns out, her bought them stuff already. As he walked you to each of the rooms, in every closet he had a blanket, clothes, and at least one age appropriate soft doll/toy for the girls and a unique pillow for the boys.

"Giyu...." You mused softly watching as he laid out the last blanket on the very plush and thick futon in the room he put all the girl's stuff in.

You had been very quiet as he showed you everything. You just couldn't wrap your head around him having all this stuff ready when you only knew you were coming over yesterday.

"I hope it's okay." He said softly. "I put their stuff together because I figured they would all want to be together, but I can move Rainbow's stuff to the other room if she wants her own space."

"It's....fine. They would want to stay together, you're right." You nodded, now looking at him.

He was so thoughtful. Offering different options for everything he provided. It was more than enough, yet here he was, almost nervously showing you everything, hoping it was okay. Of course it was okay.

"Okay." He nodded as well, his eyes finally meeting yours.

Why was he so perfect?

Feeling overcome by all of the positive emotions he gave you with his kindness and his caring nature, you walked over to him, not caring that you quickly invaded his space. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and kissed his cheek before laying your head on him.

"Thank you Giyu. They're going to be very excited."

He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you even closer.

"Good. I got things for you too." He told you softly. He only felt slightly bad that he asked the kids about spending the night when you were sleeping. He knew if the kids weren't on board you definitely wouldn't stay, but he hardly had to say anything, when he asked if they had ever stayed the night out they got so excited and asked him if they could stay. Which of course he said they have to ask you, and to his surprise they said he had to ask you first.

"You did?" You asked as you lifted your head to look at him.

"Yes." He answered.

"You're so sweet." You smiled.

"If you say so." He replied with his almost smile.

"You ready to show them?"

"I am."

"You sure? They may be all over you and loud with excitement." You smirked playfully, thinking about how Giyu usually sits stoic faced when they get loud, and even when they get excitable over him in particular. You've grown to know it doesn't mean he's irritable or annoyed, but it's still funny nonetheless.

His tiny smile grew fuller. "I'm sure."

"Okay. Well, I have to give Miko a bath before bed. Princess may need some help too, so it may be a while before I'm able to see my gifts." You wiggled your eyebrows playfully as spoke about your gifts. "Is that okay?"

"Of course it is. Take your time."

"Okay Mr. Giyu." You smiled.

He rolled his eyes at you, half heartedly, before he let you go.

"Come on." He said as he walked to the door, prompting you to follow.

When you two got back to the game room, you told them Giyu got rooms ready for them, and then you both showed them to them. Ichiro was so excited to have his own room, and also tried to play off caring about the soft round pillow that looked like a ball. When you showed Kylo his room he almost cried. You could tell he wanted to hug Giyu, but Giyu didn't seem to notice his intent when he approached him and kind of nudged him. So you held your arms out to him, hoping it would be enough to suffice.

He smiled a little bit as he moved over to you, accepting your hug wholeheartedly.

He was an only child. He hasn't been able to be alone and have his own space since before you found him. Although he's been very sweet and welcoming to all the kids, this was probably preferred.

"Thanks Mr. Giyu." Kylo mumbled although he kept his eyes off of him.

"It's no problem." He nodded.

Once you showed the girls their room the squeals and screams started. They were all so excited. You didn't even have to point out what was intended for who, they gravitated to their respective beds on their own.

Princess, less concerned with boundaries than Kylo, hugged Giyu anyway.

"Thanks so much Mr. Giyu!" She smiled before bounding off with her princess doll, back into the room after hugging his leg. Rainbow and Emiko thanked him too.

"Should we start getting ready for bed?" You asked them once they simmered down some. Emiko spoke up first making you laugh.

Giyu made sure to let you know the bathroom downstairs could be used too.

Rainbow, Ichiro, and Kylo used the downstairs bathroom, while you got Princess bathed and then Emiko, always opting to allow them to have one on one time with you instead of bathing them together.

When you were finished with Emiko she was all smiles in her new sleepwear. When you walked her back to the bedroom Rainbow was brushing Princess's hair for her.

"Where'd you get those?" You asked eyeing the brush in her hand and the one Princess had in her lap.

"Mr. Giyu, he gave us our own. Even Kylo and Ichiro got one."

"Oh really?" You asked surprised as you felt your stomach doing flips. He really was so amazing.

"Yeah." She beamed. "Emiko has one on her bed too." She pointed to the bed beside her.

"Can you brush my hair too?" Emiko asked you.

"Sure can." You nodded as you sat her down on her futon.

You spent about 10 minutes with them before bidding them goodnight to go check on the boys. Ichiro and Kylo were both already tucked away into bed. Usually you didn't have to worry about them getting to bed, you see their excitement from today also had no effect on their bedtime. After wishing them goodnight you went downstairs to find Giyu. His bedroom door was open so you just walked in. Once you crossed the threshold he came out of the bathroom.

Your mouth popped open at the sight of him. He was wearing an all black robe only, a small fraction of his chest exposed and his hair, his thick, beautiful, luscious hair, was down his back and shoulders, neatly as if he just finished drying and brushing it.

"Hey." He greeted you softly.

"Hi." You mostly breathed out.

"Everything go well?"

You nodded. "Yeah" you mumbled.

"Well I just ran you a bath, I hope it's okay."

Here he goes again. His soft tone melting you to mush.

"I'm sure it's okay." You smiled a bit awe like as you looked at him.

Nodding he gave you a half smile. "Ready for your gifts?"

Eyes widening briefly from being forgetful, you nodded slowly.

With a slight chuckle he walked over to his large armoire and pulled out a few articles of clothing.

You watched silently as he laid them out for you. Realizing they were really nice pieces of clothing, you held your gasp in.

"I wasn't sure how you like to sleep so I got different things." He spoke.

There was a long silky robe, a shorter one, and a tank top with shorts also of silky material.

"Thank you Giyu." You smiled gratefully at him.

"Of course. You can relax and take your time. I'll be in the living room when you're done." He answered before slowly passing you on his way out of the room. You felt the urge to stop him but ignored it. When the doors closed behind you, you finally moved. You grabbed the short robe and then proceeded to the bathroom.

It smelled amazing inside. There was a lavender and vanilla aroma coming from the tub. Once inside you let out a deep sigh. You hadn't even recognized you were pent up until you felt your body relax deeply. It was a battle for you between taking your time and hurrying to see Giyu. In the end you chose the latter. The relaxing scent of the bathroom helping you to relax despite your hurried washing anyway.

After you finished you made sure to use the oils Giyu had out beside the towel for you. It smelled of lavender and vanilla as well. He had the best stuff! You wouldn't allow any of it, or his efforts to go to waste. When you noticed the brush on the counter, silver plated with jade stones embedded throughout the design on the back, you made sure to use it as well. Once done styling your hair for bed you put your former clothes away in the hamper along with your towel. You put on the new robe, that glided across your body so smoothly, then proceeded to put away the others back into the armoire, making sure his room was clean before going to get him from the living room.

"Hi." You mumbled as you approached him on the couch.

"Hi." He answered back. His eyes roamed over your frame. A feeling of pride swelling inside him at seeing you wear what he bought for you, and that pride turned to mush when you sat beside him on the couch smelling of the fragrances he mixed for you. He knew they would suit you. "How was your bath?"

Smiling you answered truthfully. "Great. It was so relaxing, but I wanted to hurry up and get out."

"How come?"

"You've been waiting for me for a long time now. Didn't want you to have to anymore."

"Oh. I don't mind waiting."

"I know, but I mind that you're waiting." You laughed lightly.

He answered with a nod and slight hum.

You don't know what came over you, maybe it was because you were ultra relaxed but you leaned into him. "Thank you." You said

"For what?" He answered quietly.

"Letting us come over, dinner, the accommodations, everything."

"It's no problem." He answered.

You both sat in silence for a little while. "So where do I sleep?"

"In my bed."

"With you?"

It seemed as though this was something he hadn't anticipated you'd ask as his eyes widened.

"No...not if you don't want to, I mean..I planned to sleep on the couch..I'm sorry if that came off as creepy."

You laughed quietly. "What if I want to sleep with you?"

His mouth sat open in shock for some seconds before he said something. "Then okay. You can."

"Cool. Well I'm ready when you are." You told him.

"Ok." He replied as he stood up from the couch. You followed his movements, except now you were in his way. He slightly raised his eyebrows in an expectant manner before gesturing for you to walk.

"Oh. Am I in your way?" You asked playfully.

He only nodded, a small smile playing on his lips.

"My bad, my bad." You giggled before walking ahead. When you made it to his room you paused in the middle, standing still as you watched him close the door behind him.

When he turned around he also stilled.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing." You shrugged.

"Well, get in the bed."

You slightly gasped before giggling lightly. "You get in the bed."

"You first."

"Why?"

He shrugged his shoulders lightly. "Because."

You rolled your eyes at him, despite the smile on your face. "Fine."

You walked over to his bed and pulled the covers back. Feeling the soft and silky texture made you eager to lay down. You wasted no more time getting into the bed, quickly laying down on your back. You tried to hold back your sigh, truly, but it slipped out anyway.

"Oh my goodness." You mumbled, as you began to feel weightless.

"You like it?" Giyu teased as he walked over to his side of the bed.

You would've probably been shocked at the tone he used but right now you were distracted.

"Yeah. It's so comfy!"

"Yeah. Well, you're free to use it whenever you want."

The seconds following of silence, as he got into the bed, made him replay his words. He didn't really like the way that sounded but he didn't try to fix what he said.

When he had gotten situated and comfortable on his side you followed suit. Mirroring the way he was laying and the positioning of his pillow.

"Why are you copying me?" He asked.

"Because you're the expert."

He turned his head to look at you briefly. "On sleeping?"

"In your bed, yes."

He didn't respond. Only turned his head back to its original position. His eyes lowered to his chest as he laid perfectly still. He couldn't deny the excitement floating around in the air at the very new behavior of sharing his bed with someone.

A woman no less.

A woman he liked.

Very, very much.

Loved really.

He wouldn't let it show though.

"Giyu, can I ask you a question?" You spoke after a long stretch of silence between you two.

"Yes."

"Have you.....ever slept with a woman before?"

His eyes widened as your question registered. Did you mean...?

"No." He answered. Choosing to take it at face value. You would probably have worded it differently if you meant it the other way. At least he thinks you would.

"Oh." You reply quieter than before.

He looked over at you again. Wondering why you were practically whispering. He could hardly see your face as you had the covers pulled up to your chin, your hands clutching the edge, fists sitting on either side of your chin.

He didn't need to ask you to know your answer to the same question. He didn't respond any further, and stopped staring at you, reading your body language as discomfort. He didn't want to add to it.

But wait? Should he be talking to you? Would that make you less uncomfortable? It should right?

His own thoughts were interrupted by the shaky breath you let out.

Before he could check on you you spoke again.

"I feel overwhelmed."

His muscles were taut in the movement of sitting up when you let a rush of words flow out.

"I feel this overwhelming feeling running all throughout my body, it's like electricity and something else, I don't know what it is, but it's everywhere, and it's suffocating me, and I want to scoot closer to you, and I want to touch you, or you to touch me, and to hold hands maybe, I don't know, but I know I feel like I will die if I don't get closer to you and hug you and-"

Giyu had never seen you this worked up before. Ever. You were always calm and collected, otherwise you were joking around.

While previously he was preparing to get out of the bed his muscles flexed again for another movement.

He turned and scooted himself close to you, until your arm was against his chest, and then wrapped his own arm over your belly, letting his hand tuck beneath you between your back and the mattress.

"Okay." He cut off your rant. "You don't have to be so dramatic." He added as he let his left arm slide underneath your head, so that now it was resting on him instead of the pillow.

You couldn't help the snort that came out of you, after you let his words sink in.

"I'm sorry I just....." you didn't know what to say as you inwardly laughed at yourself. You didn't understand why you had so many big feelings and emotions coursing through your body, half of which you couldn't even identify, but Giyu casually joking with you made you feel less freaked out about it. And it was a little dramatic to say it felt like you would die.

Giyu sat silently as he held you, his head laying on your pillow. He knew how you felt. He was battling his own emotions being in the bed with you too. It was much more intimate then he could've ever imagined. Holding you like this? It was surreal. He'd never had feelings this intense for a woman before. It had never been difficult to keep himself in check, but with you, he had to put in massive effort to stay calm. You had an unshakable hold on him.

The idea of being the one to lead is a bit unnerving, but given your history, he knew he had to. There were simple things you've never witnessed before, never felt or even understood, gaining most of your knowledge from books the old man had. You didn't know as much as you would've about human interactions and behaviors had you been raised by someone for longer than 8 months. Romance and love especially. So he knew you were overwhelmed, he knew it had to be even more difficult for you then for him just simply being inexperienced with love.

At his silence you peeked over at him. His eyes flickered up to yours when he felt your gaze. Instantly your heart dropped to your gut, but it wasn't because of fear. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath in.

"What's the matter?"

You shook your head as you brought your hands to your chest, willing your heart to be still. It was beating a mile a minute.

Giyu ever so slightly pulled you closer to him.

"Are you okay?"

You mumbled a "mhm" out.

After giving it a moments thought, he moved his hand to your chest. Placing it right on top of yours, feeling your heartbeat with you.

For whatever reason it made you feel calm. Somehow he's the source of your rapid heartbeat but also the one to calm it.

When you were noticeably more relaxed you smiled. "How'd you do that?"

"I don't know." Giyu answered.

You turned your head to look at him, unconcerned with being discreet this time, because you wanted to see him.

"You're so cool."

Of course, he rolled his eyes. He's bad at accepting compliments, plus he probably thinks you're teasing but you really mean it.

You ignored his eye roll and continued to smile at him. "I don't think there's anyone in the world like you."

"Stop." He replied making a face.

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because what?"

"Just cause."

"Good reason Charming."

His mouth quirked up into a smile before quickly morphing back to a straight line.

"Ohh you like your nickname Mr. Charming?" You giggled.

"I do not."

"Suuuure." You laughed harder.

"You're crazy."

This only made you laugh more. With your eyes closed you didn't see the unrestricted smile on Giyu's face as he listened to you.

"You're funny." You told him as you quieted down.

"Okay. Go to sleep." He said halfheartedly.

"Why?"

"It's bedtime."

"I don't want to go to sleep."

"Why?"

"Because I want to talk to you."

"You do?" He asked with a tone of surprise.

"Of course."

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Anything. Everything. You." You told him honestly.

"Me? What about me?"

"Anything. Tell me something I don't know."

He was quiet for a few seconds. "I don't know what to say."

You twisted your hand so that you were holding his hand now. You picked up on the saddened tone in which he answered you. Maybe he wasn't ready yet; to fully open up about his life, and that's okay. You couldn't fully share your life story either, not by choice but still. So you would never push him. What you know now is enough. You don't have to know anymore, it wouldn't change how you feel about him.

"That's okay." You said as you rubbed the back of his hand and knuckles.

He remained silent, as you expected, only watching your hands.

"I'll go to sleep now." You told him.

"Okay." He answered.

"Goodnight Giyu."

"Goodnight Y/N."

****

[mde1011]

when i got into the dsmp i started a note and wrote down any quotes or moments i thought were funny, and im bored at 3 am so enjoy some of them

how is being arrested real? just walk away!!!”

⁃ “once an american always an american. go...go protests masks...or something”

⁃ “...yEAH BUT DID YOU HAVE WAP” “what’s...whats wap?” “...WORSHIP AND PRAYER”

⁃ “HOW DO YOU LIKE POLITICS MOTHERFUCKER”

⁃ “i’m naked” “...no you’re not” “i can be...”

⁃ “uhhhh i’m in a high stress situation....i deal with these poorly”

⁃ “i should go first i’m naked”

⁃ “yEAHHHH WE KILLED AN OLD MAN WITH HEART PROBLEMS”

⁃ “what are you going to do?” “i...have no idea i think i’m gonna start out by punching a tree”

⁃ “tOmmy...did i just hear you say shit ass looking mofo?”

⁃ “i aM gOinG to gEt nAkeD to iNtiMidAtE HiM”

- “...i want freedom !” “you want BALLS.”

⁃ “...down the line. yeah that’s where we discover the art of cannibalism” “oh it’s an art?” “it’s an art”

⁃ “oh there’s some logs here. wonder what they’re saying to me. uh huh. uh huh. oh yeah that’s very racist” “tommy you gotta burn those logs.” “burn ‘em before they spread their racism to other logs”

⁃ “are you pooing?” “*whisper* i’m charging up-““ “he’s ejaculating on the tent.” “he’s WHAT?”

⁃ “he’s sPEEDING. LOOK HOW FAST HES GOING” “i’ve taken so many drugs. someone tell badboyhalo”

⁃ “we should make a pact. and that pact is, uh, we make a book...and in that book...we declare that saying ‘muffin’ is a, is a slur”

⁃ “i was thinking what if one day your bladder just,,,,stopped working.....AGGGFFFFF i was tHINKING ABOUT THAT THE OTHER DAY IVE GOT TO PREPARE IVE GOT YO PREPARE thisiswhydiapersaintthatbad”

⁃ <sapnap> i think i was ordered to um

<tommyinnit> boobed

<sapnap> kill you

<tommyinnit> boobs

<sapnap> if this happens

<tommyinnit> think about boobs man

<sapnap> tsk tsk tommy

<tommyinnit> iM DISGRUNTLED

⁃ “why is this deadman so good at making drugs”

⁃ “i just learnt that a girl hero is called a heroine and it freaked me out”

⁃ “memento memento me-“ “that’s actually the worst word i know so you can’t keep saying that” “oh, really.....? have you ever heard the term ‘racist’?”

⁃ “the person who invented the phrase ‘be yourself’ hadn’t met you!”

⁃ “you seem like the type of guy whose dad would throw him overboard as a joke but he would just drown”

⁃ “shout out to dream for twerking!”

⁃ “let’s talk......let’s talk about sex” “wonderful. what do you think about sex, lazarbeam?” “i ain’t saying SHIT in front of a sixteen year old”

⁃ “what the- i think i’m seeing things” “....tommy i told you not to drink the sea water” “well i DID drink the sea water because it TOLD ME TO”

⁃ “it’s like the movie when that guy gets stranded on an island and has sex with a coconut” “whAT?? dream- dream, you vastly misinterpreted this” “it one hundred percent does”

⁃ “oh mastICATE.....isn’t that when a fish turns inside out?”

⁃ “what are some bad words YOU know, clay?” “i don’t-“ “what about ‘terrorist’?”

⁃ “my mind has to be on the same frequency as jesus when he walked on water”

⁃ “you wanna know why i was late?” “no i really do-“ “i was having a MASSIVE poo. really just a HUGE poo”

⁃ “jUST CUZ YOU TALK ABOUT POO ONCE AND THEN YOU SEE A BIG GREEN BASTARD AMD YOUR LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE YOUR EYES AND THEN YOU CANT REMEMBER- YOU CANT REMEMBER IF IT WAS YESTERDAY OR TOMORROW YOU HURT THAT WOMAN”

⁃ “i love america. mmmmm patriotism

⁃ “LIFE IS NOT A HAPPY SONG KERMIT THE FROG”

⁃ “please stop taking the cock”

⁃ “two four six eight who do we appreciate? not the government let’s gooooooo”

⁃ “oooo look at the dogs😍” “wHAAAAAT. WHAT. THERES ACTUALLY LIKE. A MILLION DOGS HERE. WHAT THE HELL.”

⁃ “yeahhhhh bitch i stab- i don’t stab women-“ “woooooooah tommy you stab women?” “heyyyy sapnap”

⁃ “do you know what happens whne you reach the top of the ladder? there’s only one place to go.” “.....side to side😨” “down.” “...i really thought you were gonna say side to side🥺”

⁃ “one last time.” “just like in hamilton😓”

⁃ “you don’t know how many times i’ve mistaken trees for hot women”

⁃ “ i don’t feel better i just destroyed penis”

⁃ “i’ve never seen a snail with bad morals”

⁃ “awwwwwwww😢 i’m doin’ drugs🤧 just like the good ol’ days😓” “.....define the ‘good old days’” “back when i did drugs”

⁃ “have you ever fought a baby? i have and it was trivially easy to defeat, phil.”

⁃ “the only other i egg i know about was the one i learnt about in school....not allowed to say which one....”

⁃ “did you know one of my new years resolutions is to be more like 2010 justin bieber?”

⁃ “apparently cats don’t lay eggs”

⁃ “thinking about trees- if i saw a tree with a beard mmmmmm...holy shit id hit it”

⁃ “we’re in hell dude. science doesn’t matter here”

⁃ “i cant die i cant die i’m GOD”

⁃ “hey pig your letter is the same as pussy, hmm?”

⁃ “are we cool are we COOL guys? CRYSTAL COOL like CRYSTAL METH”

⁃ “he- he’s crying because - because i killed his mother isn’t that right? mother dearest mother deadest mother gonest”

⁃ “bro ive been drinking since i was six and let me tell you...it’s not good to be drinking that young. led to some poor life decisions when i was 8” “what did you do” “i cant say” “...who did you hurt” “....only myself”

⁃ “je suis” “ay i know what that mean you prick” “what does it mean” “it means you’re racist dickhead”

⁃ “i’d never poo in the presence of a women- which is why i’m scared to get a girlfriend i think i’d just explode”

⁃ “biff tannen is one of my idols”

⁃ “black widow died and i thought ‘wow it should’ve been the man’ because he’s a man”

⁃ “there’s a character called captain america and i think he’s stupid”

⁃ “i’m a GOOD LAD i’ve got GOOD MORALS and if i’ve DONE SOMETHING WRONG it WASNT MY FAULT I JUST GOT A LITTLE EXCITED”

⁃ “sam....what’s the longest you’ve ever wiped your arse? for me it’s 48 minutes”

⁃ “why are you standing in the shitter?” “....that’s a SINK” “uhhh welllll” “hAVE YOU SHAT IN THE SINK?????”

⁃ “you’re like a living ghost” “...i think that’s called a human, tubbo”

⁃ “maybe i accidentally kill ranboo and we just never see him again *laughs* ay? and then i go ‘april foooools!!!’ and then i kill their child. i kill him”

⁃ “you built a penis” “it’s a PENIS OF SAFETY”

⁃ “i saw the penis of safety and i pressed mouse button four my friend”

⁃ “the penis on the other side of the river is larger” “ive heard that before....”

⁃ “you’ve turned the penis into a wall” “a wall of safety is better than a penis of safety” “i think the penis was better”

⁃ “if you wanna make a penis i know where we can make a penis and i know how big we can make it”

⁃ “i don’t conceptualize death but i think i just saw it!”

⁃ “yeah i- yeah i know i’m- my first impression on eret was making him read a shrek fan fiction so- i’m not one for first impressions”

⁃ “i-i’m scared for him- i’m scared OF him. yknow the first thing he did when he saw me was imMEDIATELY strip down then jump off then immediately die?”

⁃ “where are you?” “getting stabbed, one second”

⁃ “you’ve seen the joker?” “yea-“ “i resonate a lot with that man” “...oH. oh. that’s- that’s not-“

⁃ “he bURNT DOWN MY HOUSE” “out of LOVE”

⁃ “ohhhh my god stop making me play with the neighbor kid” “o-okay if you don’t go play with him i’m kicking you out of the house-“ “wHAT THE FUCK???”

⁃ “there’s a STRIP CLUB” “oh yeah for wood!” “are you into strippers?” “i mean all it does is make the wood look different so....yeah it doesn’t really do much”

⁃ “no no we have categories, we have the poo-saster- you might have to take a shower after-“ “no, no i’m gonna stop you right there”

⁃ “as i was saying you can have a 1-to-3 wiper, that’s an A-tier poo, my friend”

⁃ “i want you to eat your sock”

⁃ “you know i’m a child- i’m a minor” “sO AM I DICKHEAD”

⁃ “everyone is calling you dresus” “yeah i am”

⁃ “ayyyy ayyyy los DROGAS LOS DROGAS” “no no big q- she’s thirteen- how does this happen with every 13 year old girl you meet?”

⁃ “my poo has muscles like i do”

⁃ “i cant hear the words among us without crying they’ll say there are aliens among us and in the back youll just hear me *choking noises*”

⁃ “tubbo...tubbo is like...tubbo is like mary” “.....did you just call me the Virgin Mary?”

⁃ “i’m just saying, have you ever seen me and jesus in the same room?”

⁃ “do you smoke sam” “all the time”

⁃ “i thought you were talking about the- the speeeeed drug”

⁃ “have you ever sold drugs to kids sam?” “......no”

⁃ “we can’t let the girlboss rule because she will gatekeepe my feelings” “that would not be good”

⁃ “THEY DIDNT INVITE ME TO KILL ME???? NOW I HAVE FOMO”

⁃ “you have obviously taken part in scientology-“ “i have not-“ “you’ve donated to tom cruises cult shit”

⁃ “....am i worse than david dobrik?” “are- are we worse than david dobrik?” “oh- oh god”

⁃ “he has broke one of the rules of the hit best seller ‘the bible’- this kind of looks like a cock”

⁃ “well i’ve moved now, KING”

⁃ “what is an angsty teen and am i one? because when i USED to hang out with my friends they use the word angst a lot”

⁃ “yeah yeah yeah i bench”

⁃ “sam i think i’m angsty i think i’m an angsty tik tok teen looking for a community to help me out”

⁃ “i don’t think you’ve followed the train of logic all the way-“ “there’s a TRAIN INVOLVED????????”

⁃ “i’m like the orange fucker from that animated rom com”

⁃ “i’m under the influence of big cock”

⁃ “it’s meeee big cock man”

⁃ “i cant look away” “sam please use your twitter alt for this” “he’s horny on maaaainnnnn” “and what’s wrong with that?” “.......”

⁃ “you’re a FUCKING IDIOT” “IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT, BIG COCK”

⁃ “i’m gonna call you ‘cockity’ big cock” “sHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP-“

⁃ “STOP LOOKING AT IT” “ITS SO VIBRANT”

⁃ “at least this guy doesn’t have a cock-“ “itS NOT A COCK” “horny on main jesus-“

⁃ “is that a cock” “SHUT THE FUCK UP”

⁃ “.....i wanna see the inside of it again do a split”

⁃ “okay sam-“ “tommy that guy wants your cock-“ “no- no he doesn’t sam”

⁃ “sam, sam and i need you to hear this....dont. act. up.” “i don’t act up-“ “you were acting up-“ “i-“ “you were caught in 8k.” “but- but we both agree it’s not a tie-“

⁃ “please don’t tell me to kill cockity i am overwhelmed”

⁃ “why is there an anus in my tie?”

⁃ “what are the legal implications of this?” “...i mean besides hell you’re good”

⁃ “whatre the legal implications?” “i mean usually that’s a no-no but today, today it’s fine” “yeahhh lets go murder his family”

⁃ “i’d be an antivax landlord”

⁃ “jesus never does drugs” “well- well you turned water into wine king and wine is alcohol”

⁃ “can you put on pants i can’t- i cant stop looking at it- sorry tommy i know you said-“ “yeah sam i know you tried-“

⁃ “you know i fuck with satan”

⁃ “i’m sorry jesus lucifer is just such a good man-“ “oh you- hold me BACK FROM THIS FUCKER HOLD ME BACK ILL SEND HIM TO HELL YOU LIKE HELL-“

⁃ “are you jesus or just a man who grew a beard and put on a suit?”

⁃ “even the guy with his cock out is telling you to stop-“ “oh jesus, and i mean jesus-“ “shUT THE FUCK UP MAN”

⁃ “the best best way to slander him is to stop his offspring; we need to kick him the balls.....no? not a good....? alright us four each take a ball-“

⁃ “......why did jesus give him four scrotums man🙁🙁”

[panda-noosh]

unlike me {fred weasley x reader}

  Words: 8k

Summary: You, a shy Hufflepuff, have caught the eye of Fred Weasley.

Genre: fluff

Notes: support my writing or ask me about commissions! - did i just write pure fluff? wow. i’m learning.

----

  Fred Weasley doesn’t do things to impress others. He never has. Trying to please others is so far from his mind when playing one of his pranks that it’s almost laughable to think he and his twin brother do anything for the sake of attention. They live to amuse themselves, and nobody else.

    But sometimes the reactions of others do catch his eye. It happens rarely, but there have been the odd times when Fred and George are fleeing from the scene of one of their usual messy pranks, and Fred will look over to see someone standing there, staring open mouthed and wide eyed at the scene in front of them, and he will turn back to the path and smile because - yet again - he has left somebody speechless.

   More often than not these days, that person is you.

  Fred doesn’t know much about you; you’re clearly very shy, hardly ever being spotted in the hallways unless you’re making your way to your next class, and even then you’re prone to keeping your head down, refusing to talk to anybody who wants to talk to you. Fred doesn’t know if you have any friends, if you want friends, if you’ve ever looked at him and wondered what it would be like to talk to him…

   “So, Harry, tell me a bit about that one over there.”

   Harry looks up from his breakfast plate, eyes still fogged from a night of no-doubt restless sleep. Beside him, Ron is still trying to wake himself up and Hermione is hastily flipping through a gargantuan textbook. It seems to Fred like the Chosen One may be the only one at this moment in time in a fit enough state to answer his pressing questions.

   “Huh?” he replies.

  Fred leans forward a little more, so close that his mouth is very nearly touching Harry’s ear. “That one over there.” He nods over to the Hufflepuff table. “The one sitting on their own.”

 Harry narrows his eyes. “Y/N L/N? What about them?”

  “They’re in your year, aren’t they?”

  “I think so. I don’t really know too much about them; they’re quite quiet, really.”

  “Yeah,” Fred and George say together. “We know.”

  Harry raises a brow, flicking his gaze to the twins standing on either side of him. “Why? Are you both interested?”

  “Just ol’ Freddy Boy here.”

  Ron scoffs. “You? Getting in with Y/N L/N? Mate, that’s about as likely as Percy showing up for Christmas this year.”

  Fred slaps Ron on the back of the head. “Shut your mouth, you git.”

  “So, what? You really think you have a chance with them?” Harry asks.

  Fred shifts uncomfortably; he hadn’t meant for the conversation to get this far. All he wanted was for Harry to tell him a bit about you and that be it - he was fairly confident he could handle the rest on his own using his incredible charm and humour.

   But now these snotty little fifth years are making him second-guess his own abilities, which has never happened before in his seventeen years of life.

    “I think so,” he replies, trying to keep his voice as confident as possible. “Why wouldn’t I have a chance? I’m charming, and witty, and-”

  “And loud, and annoying, and centre of attention literally all the time,” Ginny finishes, waltzing into the conversation. She sits down next to Hermione, pinching a hash brown off Harry’s plate. “Y/N is the complete opposite of that. You’ll scare them away before you even get a chance to ask them out.”

   Fred frowns. George says something in his twins defence, but Fred has stopped listening, instead choosing to glance over to where you’re still sitting, smiling shyly at the Hufflepuff boy who has just taken a seat next to you. It’s clear - and always has been clear - that you get plenty of attention - you just don’t want it. Fred has watched you get shy and awkward, shuffling away from people who so much as grin in your direction. Fred has even watched you scurry away when he walks past, and at this point, he isn’t even surprised; the scenes Fred finds him in are far from the types of scenes you’ll want to be caught in.

   You really are very different people, and Fred isn’t stupid enough to deny that. Nonetheless, there’s something about you that has always caught his eye, from the day he was a puny little second year, watching you scramble up to the Sorting Hat. Even then he found himself staring at you, fingers crossed in the hopes you would get sorted into Gryffindor, that he could find an excuse to lead you to the Common Room himself - not Perfect Percy - but then you were being sorted into Hufflepuff and an awful long time went by in which Fred did nothing to pursue you.

   But now he’s in his sixth year. If not now, then when?

  “Have you ever tried speaking to them?”

   Ron’s voice snaps Fred from his daze. He looks down and shrugs.

  “Not really.”

  “That's not like you,” says Ginny. “Have we actually found someone who makes you shy?”

 Fred scowls. “I’m not shy. Y/N’s shy - I’m just respecting that and keeping my distance.”

  “Good on you, mate,” says George, before he ducks his head down and whispers loudly in Harry’s ear, “Every time he sees them, he wets himself a little.”

  Fred kicks his twin. “Would you lot give it a rest? I’ll talk to them today, alright? You’ll all see.”

  “Oh, don’t wind him up,” Hermione tuts, slapping Ron on the arm when the group of youngsters start laughing.

  “Oooh,” George says. “You’ve got Granger sticking up for you, Fred - who would have thought that would ever happen to us?”

   “I think it’s cute that Fred likes Y/N,” says Hermione, sitting up a little straighter. “I don’t know much about them, but I think someone bringing them out of their shell could do them a world of good.”

   Fred can’t help but grin; the thought of it, of you actually giving him a chance - it makes him unnervingly happy. “Cheers, Hermione.”

   Fred takes that tiny bit of assurance and carries it with him throughout the entire day - he doesn’t really know when he’s going to make his move, just that he is.

   At some point.

  He has no classes with you. He barely sees you in the hallways. He doesn’t share a common room with you - the situation is really not working in his favour, but Fred Weasley will not let such a drawback ruin his plans. He’ll find ways around it, just as he finds ways around everything.

   The solution finally comes to him at 11:00pm.

  He should be in bed. He knows he should be in bed, that if Filch were to see him right now, the old man would be going absolutely ballistic, overjoyed with the idea of giving another student a detention. Fred has the advantage of the Marauders Map, plus a lifetimes worth of sneaking around, but that doesn’t make him feel any less nervous.

  He’s been out of bed after curfew plenty of times before, but never has he crept into another common room whilst doing it.

   He heads towards the basement, checking the Marauders Map every few seconds to ensure Filch and his filthy cat are as far away as possible. His mind is working at a million miles per hour, because for the first time in his life, Fred is convinced he’s being stupid. The amount of protective charms that must be on the doors of these openings would be insane, and Fred is insane to think he could ever try and get past them, but god, he can’t go down to breakfast tomorrow without making some attempt to talk to you, just like he said he would, just like Hermione-

   “Eep!”

  Fred spins on his heel, nearly falling over a body of armour stood in the corner. Multiple paintings rouse from their sleep, and the ones that were already awake break into fits of giggles. Fred doesn’t even acknowledge the tiny noise that made him jump in the first place, instead choosing to desperately hush the paintings around him.

   “Shut up. Sh! Filch will hear and then we’re all in trouble!”

   “Speak for yourself, Weasley,” says Doogle Doolaly through a mouthful of giggles. Fred shoots the painting a glare before abruptly remembering what had caused him to stumble in the first place.

   He spins around. To his surprise, you’re still there.

  You, standing right in front of him with both hands clapped over your mouth, eyes wide. You’re wearing a pair of yellow bed robes, hair a mess. Fred has to take a minute to just stare.

   And then, “What on Earth are you doing out of bed?”

  Slowly you lower your hands, biting your lower lip as you stare right back at him; Fred, though pleased, finds this quite odd considering he’s so used to watching you avoid eye contact as much as possible. “I was walking.”

   Your voice is quiet, timid.

   Fred tilts his head. “Walking? At eleven at night?”

   “I couldn’t sleep.”

  “Me neither.”

   You nod. Fred nods back. The two of you stand a good five feet apart, unsure of what to say or do to make the silence go away - of course, there’s so many things Fred wants to ask, considering he was previously convinced you would never step out of line, but none of those questions are appearing right now.

    Fred, however, knows this silence can’t last forever, so he’s the one to make the first move in breaking it.

   “You alright?”

  You look up, startled. “I’m fine. Why?”

 “I was just wondering. You look like you’ve seen someone use an illegal curse or something.”

   “Thanks.”

 Fred’s stomach flips. “Not that you don’t look really pretty, because you do, but I’m just saying-”

   “Why were you heading towards the Hufflepuff common room?”

  Fred pauses. Have you just caught him out?

  “How did you know that’s where I was going?”

 “Because nobody else comes down here this late at night unless they’re a Hufflepuff coming back from detention.”

  “You’re good at this, you know. Right little detective, you are.”

   You shrug.

  Fred sighs, rubs the back of his neck before saying, “I was just having an innocent little dander about. Those Gryffindor sixth years can be a rowdy bunch - it’s hard to get to sleep.”

   “Oh. Okay.” You trace your eyes along his towering form, and for a moment, Fred is almost convinced you’re genuinely checking him out. It boosts his confidence a little. “Well, I’m sorry you couldn’t sleep. I’m also sorry for making so much noise - you startled me.”

   “Yeah, well, I’m a pretty scary person I’ve been told.”

  Your lips twitch. “Who told you that?”

   He shrugs. “It’s not so much a verbal thing. Sometimes sweet little Hufflepuff’s run away when they make eye contact with me.” He raises a brow, smirks when he sees your own smile fade, replaced by a mild look of embarrassment because you both know exactly who Fred is talking about.

   You cough and awkwardly kick at the floor. “Sometimes sweet little Hufflepuff’s get a little shy.”

   Fred’s confidence is really flooding back into his system now, and he doesn’t know why it feels different. This isn’t the confidence he carries around with him on a day-to-day basis, the confidence that allows him to play these big pranks without a care in the world. This is a type of confidence he has never felt before, makes him feel elated, like he can do anything.

   He smirks, folding his arms across his chest. “I’m Fred Weasley, by the way.”

  “I know.” Your eyes pop open for a brief second. “I mean - uh - Ron. Ron is your brother, right?”

  “He is.”

 “I know your brother. He’s in my year. Goalkeeper for the Gryffindor Quidditch team, right?”

 “Right.”

 You nod, biting your lower lip in that way Fred has learned you do quite often when you’re flustered. “I heard of you - uh - from him. Yeah.”

  Fred nods. He stares at your flustered form, finding amusement in the way you quickly look to the floor, trying desperately to avoid his gaze which has apparently now become too much for you.

  He chuckles and pushes himself away from the wall he found himself leaning upon. “It was lovely talking to you, Hufflepuff. Try not to run away next time and maybe we can talk again.”

   You look up and nod, lips twitching. Fred grins right back, bows his head to you before he walks off down the corridor, pretty darn pleased with himself.

  ----

   “So how did it go?”

  “I don’t kiss and tell.”

  Ginny gasps, slapping Fred on the arm when her, Fred and George sit down to breakfast the next morning. “You kissed?”

   Fred snickers. “No. But we spoke, and it was great. Y/N L/N is actually a bit of a rule breaker.”

 Ginny raises a brow, reaching across George for a slice of toast. “Shut up.”

  “He’s telling the truth,” says George, at the same time Fred says, “I’m telling the truth.”

   “Wow. What were they doing to break the rules?”

 “Walking about after curfew. Lucky I was there, or else Filch would have had them.”

   Ginny scoffs. “Because god forbid anyone be as sneaky as you two.”

  “Exactly,” the twins reply.

   “So what was the conversation like?” Ginny prods. She wears a distracted gaze in the hopes that Fred won’t see just how curious she really is, but Fred sees right through her.

   “It wasn’t bad,” he replies. “A bit short, but that’s easily fixed.”

  “So you want to keep talking to them?”

  Fred raises a brow. “Of course I do.”

  Ginny hums around the slice of toast in her mouth. “Cute, Fred. Cute.”

  Fred opens his mouth to give a sarcastic retort, but gets abruptly distracted by the sight of you rising from the Hufflepuff table. He sits bolt upright, craning his neck to see over the heads of everybody else; you don’t spare him a glance, apparently retreating back to your usual, shy self. With your head ducked down and your books piled in your arms, you hastily make your way towards the exit.

    Fred is standing up before he can even process he’s moved. Ginny and George watch him, both smiling maniacally as Fred utters a half-hearted goodbye and follows after you. He really has no plans for what he could possibly say when he finally catches up, but he’s decided to take every opportunity he possibly can.

   He bustles out of the Great Hall, finding you only a few seconds after as you head back towards the Hufflepuff common room.

  “Y/N!”

  You freeze, spinning around as Fred jumps onto the step just below the one you’re currently standing on. He pants dramatically, clutching his chest.

   “You move quick.”

 You glance over his shoulder, hugging your books a little tighter. “Hi, Fred. How was breakfast?”

  “Oh, good. Great, actually. I - uh - had toast.”

  “Sounds nice.”

  “Yeah.” He straightens up, rubbing the back of his neck; why is he suddenly nervous? “Where are you off to?”

  “I have to go grab some books for my first few classes,” you reply, and Fred can’t help but note the slight tinge of amusement in your voice. “Where are you off to?”

  Fred pauses; again, this was not something he necessarily thought through when he first decided to follow you out here. He really just wanted a chat, to hear your voice one more time before he was forced to go to classes.

   He folds his arms over his chest as nonchalantly as he can manage, leaning against the banister. “I don’t think it’s right for a lovely wizard like yourself to be walking to class on your own; I thought I’d offer my services.”

    You raise a brow, once again taking a cautious glance over Fred’s shoulder to ensure nobody is around to hear his flirtations; nonetheless, you make no attempt to stop him, which he takes as a relatively good sign. “Well, you can walk me to class if you like. I have to get my books first, though.”

 Fred gestures up the stairs. “Lead the way.”

  And so you do. Fred follows you all the way to the Hufflepuff common room, where he is forced to wait outside whilst you gather your belongings. His stomach grumbles, evidence of his uneaten breakfast, but he doesn’t even care right now. Not when you walk out of the common room, all smiles and nervous glances. Fred offers you his arm, and it’s with only the slightest bit of hesitation that you take it and allow Fred to lead you back through the school hallways.

   “What is it like in there?” he asks.

   “In where?”

  “The Hufflepuff common room. Surely you can hear all the house elves rattling about in the kitchens at night.”

   You shake your head. “The walls are soundproof; did you know Muggles have soundproof things as well?”

  Fred raises a brow. “You’re not obsessed with Muggle stuff, are you? My dad’s into all that stuff - I’ve heard enough of it for a lifetime.”

   You giggle, and Fred is fairly certain his hand starts trembling.

   “No, I’m not obsessed,” you say. “I do find some of it interesting, though. The similarities between our world and theirs.”

  “Are there many? Similarities, I mean.”

  You shrug. Looking to the side, Fred can see your face suddenly change; what once was an expression of nerves and uncertainty is now one of interest and intrigue as Fred asks you questions on a topic you are clearly very invested in. It makes his heart lift, and he has to bite his lower lip to stop the smile from spreading and making it too obvious.

   “A few I’ve picked up on,” you reply. “They still - like - wear clothes and stuff. Just different styles. And they live in houses, and go to school-”

  “School? Don’t insult Hogwarts like that. Muggle school and wizard school aren’t even comparable.”

   You furrow your brows, glancing up at Fred. “But they still learn.”

   “Not the important stuff. Not like we do.”

  “And what would you consider important?”

  Fred hums, gazing wistfully into the distance. You giggle again. Finally, he says “aha!” and clicks, whirling on you. “Right, tell me this - do Muggles learn Defense Against the Dark Arts?”

  You frown, grip tightening on his arm. “I don’t think so. They don’t have magic, so it would be a bit pointless, wouldn’t it?”

  “Ah, but it’s important. What are they gonna do if a Dementor comes knocking on their front door?”

  “There’s nothing they can do, even if they knew the basic stuff we know. They don’t have magic, Fred.”

  Fred grunts. “Must be a hard life having to do everything by hand.”

   “I agree.”

  Fred chuckles, glancing down at you. Your eyes meet his for a fraction of a second before you bite your bottom lip and avert your gaze.

   “Go on then,” Fred continues. “Tell me some more similarities. You’ve got me interested now.”

   “Really?”

  “Mm.”

  You tilt your head in thought. “Well. . . I suppose the way their government system works is quite similar to ours.”

   “Explain.”

  “They have people in power. A system of higher-up’s, if you will, who control everything.”

  “Is theirs as corrupt as ours?”

  “Oh, definitely. Sometimes I’d even argue they’re even more corrupt than ours.”

  Fred’s eyes pop open. “Blimey. How has the Muggle world not completely broken down?”

   You laugh. Full-on laugh, eyes squinting closed and head thrown back. Fred can’t even bring himself to laugh alongside you, suddenly too engrossed in your enjoyment to indulge in his own.

   You hiccough yourself back to reality before looking up and saying, “Surely your dad could teach you all this stuff if he’s so interested in Muggle affairs?”

   “He’s interested, but he’s also a bit oblivious. Doesn’t matter how many times Harry tells him what a telephone is, he still has no idea how it all works.” Fred shrugs. “Plus, I enjoy my lessons much more when you’re teaching them.”

   You stiffen, lower lip hiding - yet again - behind your teeth. You swallow thickly, and before Fred can do anything, you’re unwinding your arm from his and picking up your pace, calling a quick, “I’m gonna be late!” over your shoulder. Fred falters mid-way, staring after you with his mouth dropped open and confusion making his stomach churn.

   Someone crashes into his shoulder as you round the corner. “Nice one, mate.”

  “Shut up, George.”

   “It doesn’t look like it’s going too well.”

 “It’s - it’s going fine.” Fred curses under his breath - now you’ve got him stuttering? “They’re just a little shy. But I think they like me.”

    “Oh yes, the most obvious sign of attraction - running away.”

   ----

   Fred is beginning to get very tired of his classes.

  He’s only here for the sake of his mothers sanity; god only knows how Molly Weasley would react if he showed up at the Burrow six months early, claiming he was finished with school before he’d even managed to bag an acceptable amount of N.E.W.T’s.

   But he doesn’t want to be here any more. He’s getting tired of forcing himself to listen to things he only half cares about, getting tired of being told off for things that - honestly - the teachers should just be used to by now. It’s not like they haven’t seen it for the past six years.

   He grunts to himself as he and George walk out of History of Magic. Yet another boring lesson that seemed to drag on much longer than necessary; all Fred has to prove he was there at all is the doodle of a cat in the top hand corner of his notebook.

   “I need a sleep,” George says. “His bloody voice exhausts me.”

  Fred opens his mouth to respond, but his twin brother cuts him off by slapping a hand to his arm and pointing straight ahead.

  Startled, Fred looks up. Standing by the gargoyle just outside History of Magic is you, hugging your books whilst awkwardly looking back and forth, as if afraid one of the passing students is going to stop and harass you.

  George snickers. “Go on, mate. I think they’re looking for you.”

  Before Fred can object, get himself together, George shoves him forward hard enough to make him stumble. Your head snaps up at the sound of Fred saying “You git!” and Fred is quick to lean against the wall, look at you and say, coolly, “Y/N. What a pleasant surprise.”

   You stand up a little straighter, lips twitching. “Hi. How was class?”

  “Boring.” He smirks. “Much better now that you’re here, though.”

  The unmistakable sound of George snorting as he passes by floats between you. You smile, giving Fred’s brother a nod before you turn back to Fred and say, “Do you fancy taking a little walk before break ends?”

   Of all the things Fred expected to happen today, you asking him on a walk was certainly not one of them. It takes him a second to reply, and it’s only the realisation that you’re probably just as nervous as he is that he snaps out of it and nods.

   You wind your arm through his without him having to offer; his cheeks are burning.

  Together, you set off down the hall. It’s quiet for a little bit, Fred still trying to figure out what’s happening, and you inspecting each and every one of the sculptures you pass, as if too afraid to look over at Fred.

    Finally, however, you break the silence. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

   Fred’s stomach jolts. “What are you sorry for?”

  “For how I reacted. You were just being nice and I - uh - I don’t really know how to handle that kind of thing.”

  Fred perks an eyebrow, glancing down at you with genuine curiosity. “I find that very hard to believe.” Because he does. He finds it downright unbelievable that compliments are not something you have grown used to across the five years spent in Hogwarts.

   You shrug. “Well, believe it. I really appreciated what you said, but I just. . . I don’t know how to respond, or if you’re telling the truth-”

 “I was definitely telling the truth.”

   You bite your lip. “I shouldn’t have ran off like that. It must have made you feel awful.”

 Classic Hufflepuff behaviour - thinking more about other people’s feelings than their own.

  “You know,” Fred drawls, “if my flirting makes you uncomfortable, just tell me and I’ll stop.”

   “No!”

  Fred’s eyes snap down. You look back up at him, eyes wide before you realise the abruptness of your protestation and hastily avert your gaze to the floor.

  “No,” you say, softer now. “I - uh - I don't think you should stop. I quite like it, actually.”

  Fred smirks, keeping his eyes trained on you even as you fight desperately to look anywhere but him. “Do you fancy me, Y/N L/N?”

  “Oh, give me a break, Fred.”

   “I think you do.” He rubs his cheek against your own. “Just a little bit.”

  You jerk away, slapping his arm. “Well, it’s not bloody difficult, is it?”

  Fred falters, though his smile only widens. “What does that mean?”

  You groan, pulling your arm from his yet again. Fred stumbles back, unable to help the laugh that bursts from his throat at the sight of your flustered state.

   “I’m going to class,” you announce.

  “You didn’t answer my question!”

   “I don’t have an answer to your question.” You stand there a little longer. With a smile still beaming, Fred watches as you take a single step forward, a step back, another step forward-

  And then, as if telling yourself to just get it over with, you jump forward and press your lips to Fred’s cheek. His jaw drops open, but he doesn’t get the chance to say anything before you’re spinning on your heel and rushing away, rounding the corner without so much as a wave in his direction.

   Fred swallows thickly, reaching up to brush his fingers against the area you have just kissed, just like they do in those cheesy Muggle movies his mum is so fond of. He can’t believe the feeling that comes with it - his heart is going to explode.

    Oh, no…

   ----

   The Hufflepuff table is boring compared to the Gryffindor table. That’s the first thing Fred notices.

  Maybe it’s because his friends aren’t with him. Maybe it’s because George flat-out refused to accompany him. Maybe it’s because Fred is nervous, and he’s angry about it, because since when has Fred Weasley ever been nervous about anything?

   This morning, however, he is pushed on by the memory of your lips against his cheek. That is his only source of motivation, the only reason he doesn’t flick Ernie MacMillan on the back of the head when the Hufflepuff boy turns and scowls at the Gryffindor student currently making his way towards you, sat at the very end.

  You have yet to look up from your textbook. Fred takes great pleasure in wrapping his arms around your shoulders, your body jumping back against his in your shock. He leans down and chuckles in your ear, moving his head so you can see his clearly amused features.

   Immediately your eyes widen. “Fred! What are you doing here?”

 “I thought I’d come have breakfast with you.” He waves his wand; a sausage springs up from Ernie’s plate, which he catches before biting into. “Like a date.”

    You bite your lip. “Do you want to sit down?”

 “Uh, Y/N?” Ernie calls over as Fred takes the empty seat next to you; he doesn’t miss the way you barely look up when you hum in response to Ernie’s - quite frankly - rude call of your name. “You know the houses have to eat together. He’s breaking the rules.”

   You shyly look up. “Oh, Ernie, let him sit down…”

 “Yeah Ernie,” Fred jeers. “Let me sit down, you nosy little git.”

   You choke on the pumpkin juice you just lifted to your mouth, spinning in your seat to hide the amused smile growing uncontrollably upon your face. Fred grins, placing his hands on your shoulders.

  “Did you like that?”

 “You’re impossible,” you hiss, slapping his arm. “Just ignore him. He’s got a grudge against anyone who plays for Gryffindor.”

 “Yeah, I know.” Fred narrows his eyes, craning his neck a little to see over your shoulder, where Ernie sits with a scowl on his face. “He better not give you a hard time for hanging out with me, you know. You’d tell me if he was?”

    You shift so you’re covering Ernie’s face and are now the centre of Fred’s attention. “Of course I would. Plus, Ernie doesn’t scare me.”

   “I’ll certainly scare him if he so much as-”

 “Fred,” you laugh, nudging his knee beneath the table. His eyes drift back to you, his body immediately relaxing at the sight of your glowing smile. “Calm down, okay? He’s got nothing against me - it’s you and the Gryffindor team he’s got a problem with.”

   “Is that supposed to make me hate him any less?”

  You shrug, plucking Fred’s hands from your shoulders and placing a hash brown between his fingertips. “He’s got a point, you know. You are breaking the rules by sitting here.”

   Fred raises a brow. “Right, I’ll leave if you-”

  “No!” You latch onto his arm, pulling him back to the bench as Fred bursts into yet another round of raucous laughter at how easily flustered you become. “No, you should stay. Dumbledore isn’t even looking.”

   “If I was any less wise, L/N, I’d think you want me to have breakfast with you.”

   “I just don’t get to see that much of you,” you mumble.

  Fred coos; he’s trying so hard to keep up the fun-guy persona, putting on a mask of confidence despite the speed at which his heart is hammering in his chest at the moment. You make it so easy for him to feel this way, too easy, because sure, Fred has had crushes on people before, but never has he put himself out like this. Never has he wanted to make someone laugh so much. Never has he been so proud of being the reason for someone else’s smile.

    Fred leans forward, lowering his voice. “That’s very cute.”

  “Yeah, well…”

   He chuckles, flicking your heated cheek before he takes a bite from the slice of toast you’re holding. You jolt upright immediately, swatting him away with a glare. “Hey!”

   He licks the butter noisily from his fingers. “Yummy.”

  You roll your eyes. “Get your own breakfast.”

  “But yours is so much tastier.”

   You grab another slice of toast from your plate and push it against Fred’s lips. He opens his mouth, takes a bite and hums appreciatively.    

   And then the world stops.

   It really is like those scenes in those cheesy movies his mum watches all the time, where the room seems to go still and it’s like nobody else exists. Your fingers hover inches away from his face, your eyes cast to his lips where the slice of toast has just disappeared. Fred swallows, his own eyes drawn to your lips, slightly parted, so soft looking-

    “Weasley! What do you think you’re doing sitting at the Hufflepuff table! Get back to where you belong right this instant!”

   McGonagall grabs a fistful of his robes, pulling him up from the bench. Fred gasps, stumbling up with his eyes still locked on you. You hastily look back down at the table, pushing hair out of your eyes, trying to avoid being told off by the Deputy Head.

   “Awk, lay off, Professor!” Fred exclaims. “I was having fun!”

  “You were breaking the rules, Mr Weasley. You can integrate with your pals whenever breakfast has finished, but until then-”

   “Yeah, yeah,” Fred grumbles, giving you one last glance. It’s to his utter relief that he sees you looking back at him, a tiny smile on your face. Fred winks before McGonagall shoves him forward, back into his seat at the Gryffindor table.

   ----

   When Fred receives your note, he is sat in the Gryffindor common room with George.

  Homework litters the table in front of them, unfinished and not understood by either of them. Hermione had long since gone to bed, insisting she wasn’t going to help people who didn’t want to help themselves. And so, the twins sat up until the late hours of the night, staring at their homework with a sense of frustration building between them.

   Fred feels certain he’s going to snap at any given moment; this whole school thing really isn’t working out for him nor George, and the two of them have such prestigious dreams that sitting in a classroom all day just feels like a waste of time. Maybe that’s why he can’t bring himself to properly concentrate on his lessons. Maybe that’s why neither he nor George care as much about grades as all his other siblings.

   “Right, so clearly Flitwick was on something when he wrote this,” says George, scowling at his charms homework. “He didn’t even mention flying charms last lesson, so why has he-”

   The fireplace suddenly erupts.

  Both Fred and George jump at the sudden interruption, swivelling round in their chairs to catch a glimpse of what has happened; they both know full well the kinds of things these fireplaces can permit, and neither of them want to deal with anything too dangerous at this time of night.

    In the fire, however, is not the face of a Death Eater, or anything close to such - instead, a single piece of paper sits in the ashes, Fred’s name printed in bold across the top.

   The twins frown at each other. George makes a suggestive gesture, all but shoving Fred closer for inspection.

  Fred stumbles, sends George a glare before he bends down and picks the piece of paper up. Immediately the handwriting is recognisable by the lazy flick of the letters, how effortlessly neat it looks. It would take Fred hours to write a note that looks like this, and yet he’s watched you scribbling notes down; this is undoubtedly your doing.

   Suddenly he’s smiling.

  “Oh, here we go,” George groans, noticing his twins expression. “You’re sending love notes to each other now?”

   “Shut up.” Fred sinks down into one of the armchairs, reading your note thoroughly. “Y/N wants to meet up.”

  “Right now?”

   “Mhm.”

  George raises a brow. “Have you two even kissed yet?”

 Fred’s eyes snap up, cheeks heating before he can stop them. He never ever gets flustered around George, but the mention of such a thing has his stomach flipping. “Why do you care?”

   George raises his hands in mock surrender. “Never said I did, mate, but the smile on your face right now would suggest at least a peck on the cheek or something.”

   Fred scowls. “No, we haven’t kissed. We’re not even properly together, so drop it.”

   “How does that make sense? You both fancy each other-”

   “Yeah, but it’s nothing official.” Fred lazily flicks his hand, clicking his fingers so the note folds itself into a perfect square and zips into his robe pocket. “You wouldn’t understand these things, Georgie Boy. You’ve got to take it slow.”

   Goerge scoffs, throwing a pencil at Fred. “Very bloody slow apparently. But I forgot, it’s a Hufflepuff you’ve got your eye on. They tend to be a bit hard-to-get, don’t they?”

   Fred opens his mouth to protest, to stick up for you, but he can’t even deny the truth in George’s words; a fair amount of time has passed since the two of you first started talking, and all you’ve done is say you enjoy his company. There’s been no kissing, no hand-holding, nothing even close to being considered romantic.

   Fred is okay with this, of course. He’s in that very weird head space where even just being in your presence is enough to satisfy him; he catches glimpses of you as you parade from one class to another, and that is enough until he sees you again at lunch, or dinner, or during breaks.

   He sighs, pushing himself up from the armchair. “Don’t wanna leave them waiting, do I?”

  George scowls. “What about our homework?”

  “We’ll be fine.”

  “I’m not covering for you if Flitwick asks what you were up to that’s more important than his homework assignments.”

 Fred grins, not even giving a response as he clambers out of the common room and ducks into the hallways.

  He knows exactly where to go, even though he’s never met up with you after hours before - not since the first time, which he doesn’t even count considering it was entirely an accident. To this day, he still isn’t convinced that wasn’t some type of dream - a Hufflepuff, out of bed after hours? Not a single soul would believe him if he told them.

   Fred makes his way down the corridor and grins when he sees you standing there; you’re much braver than him. Fred, personally, feels much safer when he’s wading through the halls - it makes it more difficult for Filch to catch him if he’s not stationary. You, however, seem to have no issue with standing behind a suit of armour, waiting patiently for Fred to round the corner.

   “Hola. Bonjour. Hello. Hi.”

   You look round, face immediately lighting up. “Fred! Hi!”

  He’ll never get used to that greeting.

   “Y/N! Hi!” he mimics. “I got your note.”

  “Good. Great. I was worried I did it wrong.”

   “You? Do something wrong?” Fred screws his face up in an expression of mock confusion, which prompts you to roll your eyes and nudge him. He grins, stuffs his hands in his pockets and says, “Out after curfew again, eh? Have I finally corrupted you?”

   “You must have,” you reply.

   Fred tilts his head. “What’s the actual reason you invited me out?”

   And that’s when your expression shifts.

   You bite your lower lip in that way you always do, eyes darting to the ground awkwardly. Fred raises a brow, leaning forward a bit in his attempt to get you to look at him again, but you suddenly seem much too embarrassed to even be giving Fred the time of day. His stomach flips with uncharacteristic anxiety, and he can’t stop himself when he steps forward and places a gentle hand on your elbow.

   “Hey. Did something happen?”

  The words burst out of you in one breath. “I left my book in the bathing room and I’m too scared to get it myself but I really need it to help me sleep, so I was wondering if you could help me get through the hallways without Filch knowing and then I promise you can go back to bed and never speak to me again.”

   You take a sharp breath before looking away again, apparently too embarrassed by your request to even look at him.

   Fred takes a moment to reply. He has to untangle your words first, and then he has to bask in his amusement at how embarrassed you were by asking it; personally, he doesn’t see the problem. He’s happy to help. In fact, he’d be pretty annoyed if it wasn’t him you were asking.

   “Alright.”

  Your eyes snap up. “Really? I mean, you don’t have to, I just thought - well, you know your way around, and you’ve dealt with Filch-”

  “You don’t need to explain.” He offers his arm, just as he always does. “What book is it?”

 And it’s with only the tiniest bit of hesitance that you take his offered arm and allow him to guide you through the corridors he apparently knows so well; in truth, he doesn’t tend to go out after curfew all that often, because he gets all of his mischief done in the day time now. But you were indeed correct in saying he knows this place better than anyone else. He and George spent the majority of their school careers finding secret passageways and little hiding spots they could use at any given time. As he listens to you talk about the book he’s about to try and save, he recalls each and every one of these hiding places whilst keeping a sharp ear out for Filch.

   The two of you arrive at the bathing rooms and Fred pushes open the door. It squeaks, and you wince, glancing at Fred anxiously; he merely places a hand on the small of your back, pushing you further into the room.

   He follows, closes the door and exhales heavily. “Made it. Now where’s that book you’ve lost?”

   You skitter around the edge of the massive bathing pool; it’s still filled to the brim with forever hot water, always clean despite the amount of people washing themselves within it on a daily basis. Fred stands on the edge, hands stuffed in his pockets as he watches you rush to the far side of the room, rummage around in a basket of towels before pulling a particularly thick book out from beneath them.

   You look over, smiling broadly with the book pressed against your chest.

  Fred raises a brow. “Happy now?”

 “Overjoyed.”

 You skip back over to him, pulling open the front cover to look inside. Fred leans forward, reading the confusing inside blurb over your shoulder.

   “And you use this for a bit of light reading in the bath?” he asks.

  Startled, you slam the book closed. “It’s good, honestly.”

  “I’ll take your-”

   Fred’s sentence is cut off by the sound of Filch yelling.

  And it’s unmistakably Filch yelling, because Fred has heard it many, many times before. It always comes with that initial rush of panic, the realisation he’s been caught, and if he was with anybody else, that initial panic wouldn’t have even lasted. Now, however, he takes one look at your slack face, the horror swimming in your eyes, and he realises this is the first time you’ll have ever gotten in trouble with the caretaker.

   A traumatic experience for anyone.

  “Oh, god,” you whisper, dropping the book with a SLAM. You jump, scrambling to pick it up, but the noise only seems to draw Filch closer to the door. Fred has to think now.

   He groans low under his breath, fumbling beneath his robes for his wand - a wand that has been left on the table back in the Gryffindor common room.

  You jolt back up straight, hugging the book to your chest, and that’s when Fred does the one thing he can think to do right now - he grabs your arms and pushes you back, jumping into the deep end of the bath with you alongside him.

    He holds you close, opening his eyes as much as he possibly can. He can hear Filch’s yelling from above, aggravated screams of “I know you’re in here! I know you’re in here! I heard you!” Fred simply pulls you closer, urging you to hold your breath for as long as possible.

   But he can see you panicking, the air leaving you. He can see your lips threatening to split open so you can scream or cry or breathe, Fred doesn’t know, but he can’t let you do it. Not right now.

   Without magic, there’s only one thing he can think to do.

  He presses his lips to your own and pries your mouth open. He doesn’t know how this works. He read about it once in a Muggle Studies book, but he never thought he would ever actually need to pay attention to the details. He takes your relaxing body as a good sign, tightening his hold on your shoulders as he continues to breathe as much air into your mouth as he can possibly muster.

    And then the door is slamming, and Filch’s screams are muted behind the gold plating, and Fred immediately lets go of you and bursts to the surface.

   You follow, gasping for air, wiping water out of your eyes along with fat strands of wet hair. Fred pants, wiping his eyes roughly, trying so hard to find words for an apology but unable to gather enough breath to even think proper thoughts at the moment.

   His heartbeat soars. He looks over at you; you’re already looking at him, and the entire room is silent besides your synchronised panting breaths.

   You shove past the water, into his arms, and kiss him.

   Fred’s eyes pop open wide, but his arms wind around your waist almost instinctively. His lips mould against yours, and once the initial shock has passed, his eyes are slipping closed and he’s falling, falling, drowning, never wanting to resurface ever again.

   You pull away first. Water drips from your bottom lip, your eyelashes, your chin, and Fred has never seen a sight so beautiful. He reaches forward, swiping his thumb along your lower lip before he leans forward and gives you a final peck.

    “Always full of surprises, you are,” he whispers.

  ----

   Fred watches you. Leaning against the door frame with his arms folded across his chest, he watches as you run the towel down your face, grumbling beneath your breath about how impossible it will be to explain your soaked robes to Professor Sprout.

   Fred hasn’t even stopped to properly think about how the two of you are meant to get back to your respective common rooms without someone noticing; you’ll surely leave a trail of water in your wake, and Filch is already on high alert. Despite this, Fred can only focus on the kiss the two of you have just shared, and what it means for the future.

    You sigh, slamming the towel down and turning. There’s an adorable pout on your face, eyebrows furrowed, hair still soaked and clinging to your skin.

   “That really was a shock,” you say.

  Fred chuckles. “Just the bit where we took a swim?”

   “And the bit where you saved me from drowning.”

  “And the bit when we resurfaced and you-”  

   You groan, waving your hands in front of you as if swatting a fly. “Awk, don’t. I never do anything like that. I probably did it all wrong-”

  “You didn’t.”

  “Kissing is just something I never got the hang of. I’ve only done it a few times, because I don’t really tend to like people that way, but-”

  “But I’m a special case?”

  You scowl, deflating. “You know you are.”

  Fred grins that cheeky grin of his, pushing away from the door. He wades towards you and stops only when he’s close enough that you have to crane your neck to look into his eyes. “I think you got the hang of kissing perfectly fine. You’re a bloody natural.”

   You blink. “Yeah?”

  “Yes.” With that, Fred leans down and presses his lips to your own. It’s only slow, slow enough that Fred can feel you melt into him, your rib cage suddenly coming against his own, your fingertips brushing delicately against his waist. It’s adorable, feeling you lose yourself like this, barely registering what is actually happening.

   He pulls away just as slow, so you can feel everything when he does so. Your eyes stay closed for a second before opening, lower lip retreating between your teeth, face hot when Fred brings his hands up to your jaw.

   “Does - Okay, well, stupid question, but does this make us a couple?” you ask.

  Fred laughs. “If you want, yeah.”

  “Do you -”

  “Oh, Y/N, don’t even ask that; you know full well I want to be your boyfriend. Full. Well.”

   A grin splits your face. “Okay.”

  “Yeah?”

  You nod, wrapping your arms around his middle and placing your chin in the centre of his chest. “Yeah.”

[sunlightdances]

Safe Place to Land (Modern!Bucky x Reader)

Author: Katie @sunlightdances​ Pairing: Modern!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Rating: PG-13 for swearing. No trigger warnings except some alcohol use and drunkenness, and if awkwardness makes you feel weird, which-- SAME. Slow burn. Two idiots. Words: 8K+ aka HOW DID THIS GET SO LONG Summary: Modern!AU. You and Bucky are both standing up for Steve and Peggy’s wedding. Checking in at the hotel for the weekend, you’re horrified to realize there’s been a problem. A big problem. Prompt Filled: “Only one bed” Author’s Note: This is for @fanfictionaries​’ Classic Trope Challenge! Congrats on 300 followers, and thanks for hosting! This was so fun to write. Special thanks to @writeyourmindaway​ for the divider at the beginning and the flower divider throughout the post! Disclaimer: I don’t own Bucky Barnes or Marvel. I also don’t own the song “Dance with Me” by Kelsea Ballerini, which is where the title comes from. The plot is mine! Please don’t repost my work on any other sites (AO3, Wattpad, etc.) without my permission. If you like what you read, please reblog to help share my work!

You’re late.

It’s truly a scene from a movie - you dashing through the airport, your rolling suitcase clicking behind you as it hits every line in the tile. People are staring, and you’re embarrassed, but you don’t have time to be.

Peggy will kill you if you miss this flight.

You’ll kill you if you miss this flight. Not for the first time, you curse Steve Rogers and his romantic streak for having a destination wedding. Especially because it’s going to be small. An exclusive wedding that could have just as easily been done in New York… you stop yourself.

You’re happy to be going to London. You’ve never been before, and you’re even happier to be going to celebrate the wedding of two of your closest friends.

It’s been over a decade since the first time you met Steve Rogers, alone and out of place in New York City, and at first you didn’t bother him - he was clearly going through something, and through your nosy neighbor, you knew he was recently back from a tour in Afghanistan. You were unable to stay away for long though, especially when you could hear the nightmares through the apartment walls, and could hear the grief he was struggling to control.

A casserole outside his door and a late night coffee break later, the two of you were fast friends. He trusted you with his story, and the look on his face when you introduced him to your coworker Peggy sealed your friendship for good.

Finally arriving at the gate, you nearly knock over a very tired, very irritated looking Bucky Barnes, and roll your eyes to the heavens, because of course you’re on the same flight. Why wouldn’t you be? You suspect foul play by your conniving best friend, but you don’t have time to complain about it.

Bucky’s already glaring at you. “You’re late--”

“I know. How did you even know I was going to be on this flight?”

“Steve mentioned it. Said to make sure you didn’t get left behind.”

You roll your eyes, collapsing into a chair near the gate as the boarding process begins, out of breath from your sprint through the airport. “He worries too much.”

“You are late, though.”

You glare right back at him, but can’t help but give him what you hope is a subtle once over - right from the top of his baseball-cap covered head to his Nike-covered feet. It’s really not fair that he still manages to look like a runway model at four in the morning.

Finally you’re called for boarding, and you push past Bucky to get on the plane, where you have plans to promptly fall asleep and hopefully be out for the next several hours.

“Me again,” you hear his deep voice before you open your eyes, and you’re treated to the truly amazing sight of Bucky Barnes’ abs when his shirt rides up as he puts his bag in the overhead bin.

“Terrific,” you mutter, and he snorts.

“Go to sleep.” The heat practically radiates off him as he sits down next to you, him in the aisle seat and you in the dreaded middle seat.

You really are tired - there was a reason you were running late. You have a habit of working too late and not getting enough sleep, another reason you were looking forward to this wedding. Ten full days in England. No work, just rest. And a wedding. But besides that--! No obligations. You can practically feel the stress melting off you.

Almost as soon as the plane takes off and you start to doze, the man on the other side of you starts talking. At first you think he’s talking to Bucky across you, but it becomes clear he wants to get to know you better when he starts asking about your job, and finally, if you’re single.

You crack open an eye in disbelief, and open your mouth to respond before Bucky leans over and says quietly, but firmly, “No, she’s not. Sorry, dude.”

Bucky’s forearm is pressing into yours, and you scowl at him before the other guy replies.

“Oh, sorry. Should have guessed.”

“Don’t worry, it surprises a lot of people,” you tell him. Including me. You look back at Bucky with a what the hell look on your face, and he shrugs.

Shifting, he lifts the armrest between you and leans in, whispering. “Unless you wanted him to hit on you for the rest of this flight?”

You groan internally, because there’s nothing you hate more than when Bucky has a point.

It’s not like you hate Bucky. He just-- he knows how to push your buttons. Being Steve’s best friend in the entire world, it was a packaged deal. Bucky came home a year after Steve. He was injured, and angry, and wanted nothing to do with the same type of optimism you tried to supply Steve with.

You were okay with that. Not everyone is wired the same, and you had no business butting into Bucky’s life just because you were able to help Steve adjust to life after the Army.

He warmed up eventually, after he and Steve both started going to VA meetings and were slowly working through things, though you knew there was a chance that the Bucky Barnes you were going to get to know would be nothing like the Bucky that Steve told you stories about.

Still, it has always seemed like there’s something else there. Something under the surface that makes Bucky wary of you.

You’re civil and have come to accept the facts: you and Bucky will never be friends.

That’s why you’re so suspicious of his behavior on this flight. You figured he’d be rather amused by you getting hit on at 20,000 feet.

Right before you fall asleep, you put that thought safely into the box labeled Reasons You Will Never Understand Bucky and leave it at that. 

You wake up to turbulence, and Bucky’s elbow jamming into your ribs.

“Sorry,” he mutters, and when he steadies you, you realize you were leaning into him while asleep, and feel your face turn hot.

You don’t say anything - too worried you’re going to put your foot in your mouth. “What time is it?” You ask instead, and he blinks at you.

“No idea. I was asleep.”

“Oh.”

The silence that settles between you is a little awkward, but you try your best to get over it. It’s dark on the plane. Your left leg is asleep and your neck is so tense you wonder how you managed to sleep at all. Probably because you had the world’s most attractive body pillow, you think.

You pull your tablet out of the seat-back in front of you and turn the brightness way down. Opening a book you’ve been reading, you check the time. Seeing you still have a few hours before you land, you try to get comfortable before you start reading.

You can feel Bucky’s eyes on you off and on for the next few minutes and you try to ignore the feeling it gives you - the hair on the back of your neck standing on end, and when you catch him before he can look away, you feel the jolt through your entire body.

That’s new.

Finally, the announcement comes that you’re landing in fifteen minutes, and everyone around you starts to gather their things and get restless. You feel the excitement building in you like a live thing, and roll your eyes when you see Bucky smirking at you.

“Leave me alone; I’ve never been to England before.”

His smile falters, just the tiniest bit. “It’s nice. You’ll like it.”

It’s a weird comment, but you don’t say anything else. You have a vague memory of Steve telling you Bucky was airlifted to Germany and then to London before coming home after his accident, and you don’t want to say the wrong thing. Contrary to what he thinks, you actually don’t want to argue with him all the time, but especially not on this trip.

Heathrow is a madhouse. It’s even busier than when you left New York, and you’re a little overwhelmed, plus jet lagged. A great combo.

You and Bucky get your bags from baggage claim and then he turns to you, looking a little worse for wear. “I’m assuming we’re at the same hotel.”

“Hopefully not the same hotel Steve and Peg are in.”

Bucky looks like he’s trying not to laugh, but still remains stoic.

“Oh come on,” you say as the two of you head to try to find a cab. “You know if we’re in the same hotel they’ll be calling all hours of the day to get us to do last minute stuff for them. I agreed to be a bridesmaid, not the wedding planner.”

Like the sun finally breaking through, Bucky actually smiles at that, and not for the first time in your sort-of-friendship, you’re struck by it, by how it changes his entire face and makes him look like a completely different person.

“Steve’s been driving me a little crazy, I have to admit.”

After verifying you are both staying in the same hotel where the majority of the wedding guests are, you fall silent as you take in the scenery zooming past in the cab.

Soon you’re approaching the most beautiful hotel you’ve ever seen, and you stare, open-mouthed, because this cannot be the place you booked. You were given the name of a hotel that Peggy said was nice and reasonably priced that most of the other guests were using, and you expected it to be-- well, not like the place she and Steve were staying.

Still: this is-- too much. Opulent doesn’t even cover it.

“Wow,” Bucky says next to you, uncharacteristically awed by the sight.

In the lobby, you’re even more convinced this is all a scam. Which is why when the concierge tells you there’s a problem, you’re almost not surprised.

“I’m so sorry - we have names for both of you on the reservation list, but it seems like they’ve put you both in the same room.”

A pin could be heard dropping for how quiet you and Bucky get.

He’s the first to speak. “I’m sorry?”

“There must have been a mistake… we’re full the next two weeks with several wedding parties and whoever booked it must have made a mistake.” She’s perfectly apologetic, in that British way, but you’re having trouble getting past the idea that you’re going to have to live with Bucky Barnes for 10 days.

“Can I just get another room?” You blurt.

“I’m sorry - we’re booked. There aren’t any other rooms.”

Bucky turns to you. “Look, it’s fine. Where else are you going to go?”

You feel something like panic welling up inside you. You and Bucky, sharing a room for ten days. How are you going to survive what’s sure to be the most awkward thing you’ve ever had to do in your life?

Better yet: how are you going to live with the teasing from Steven Grant Rogers when he finds out you have to be roommates with his best friend?

You sigh.

“The same room it is.” 

This can’t be real, you think. It’s too cliche.

“Um,” you say out loud, elegantly, “There’s only one bed.”

“Appears that way.”

“Well? What are we going to do?”

Bucky looks at you, blank. “We’re grown. I feel like this isn’t that big of a deal.”

You feel semi-hysterical laughter bubbling inside you, because this is very much a big deal. Especially when you’re just sort of admitting to yourself that your tiny crush on Bucky hasn’t waned over the years. You’ve always found him attractive and had no problem acknowledging that, but this? This is just too rom-com, even for you.

“It’s ten days. You don’t have a problem sharing a room with me for ten days?”

He shrugs. “What else am I going to do? Can’t bunk up with Steve. We’ll be busy with wedding stuff for the next two days anyway, and then afterwards… I don’t know. I figured you’d be sightseeing?”

You stare at him. “Okay, but… what are you going to be doing?”

He looks down. “Hadn’t thought that far ahead yet. You assume I’m here as long as you are,” he points out.

He’s right - you have no idea how long Bucky booked this trip for. Without wanting to pry, you’re again reminded that he has a small history here, and probably one that he doesn’t want to re-live.

You’re interrupted by Bucky’s phone ringing, and you busy yourself unpacking while he answers it.

“Hey, Steve.” He says, his voice entirely different when he talks to his best friend. “Yeah, just got to the hotel.” A few beats. “I was probably just going to crash for the night…”

You get a text from Peggy almost at the same time, asking if you want to meet her and Steve for dinner, and meet Bucky’s eyes. You must look as tired as he feels, because he makes another excuse.

“If Katie’s not going to be there, I don’t want to be third wheel with you two lovebirds.” Another beat. “Yeah, let’s do breakfast. I’ll call you in the morning.”

You tap out a response to Peggy about jet lag and already being in bed (and it’s not like you don’t want to see your best friend, you’re just-- there’s too many things happening right now for you to even think about going out for a late dinner), and toss your phone towards the bed.

Yet another reminder of the fact that you’re going to be sharing with Bucky Barnes as soon as you’re both exhausted enough to sleep.

When he hangs up, you look at him curiously. “You didn’t mention anything about our living arrangements.”

He sighs. “Look, Steve’s stressed out enough. He doesn’t need to worry about this mixup too. Besides, it’s fine. It’s just sleeping.”

You hate yourself for the heat you feel at the thought of sharing a bed with him, even though it’s a fleeting feeling that you force away. “Yeah. Just sleeping.”

Bucky says he wants a shower and you offer to order room service. It’s almost 10pm, but you both know you won’t be able to sleep on an empty stomach.

When Bucky comes out of the bathroom, you feel like a teenager. Even he looks a little flushed, but you think it’s from embarrassment. “I-- forgot a change of clothes. Sorry.” He looks so chagrined, you can’t help but snicker.

“Buck, you’re offending my delicate sensibilities.”

His eyes go a little wide and you realize you’ve never called him by that familial version of his nickname before, but it just -- you’ve known the guy almost as long as you’ve known Steve. It just slipped out.

He recovers quickly, winking at you. “Honey, we all know there’s nothing delicate about you.”

You both freeze, both taken aback by the sultry lilt to his voice as he teases you, and again, you’re saved by an interruption - this time a knock on the door saying room service has arrived.

Bucky heads back to the bathroom to change, and you gulp in a few deep breaths before answering the door to get the food.

A whole night of this. You have no idea how you’re going to survive. 

Your alarm goes off way too early. In reality, it’s eight in the morning, but you still feel like you’ve been hit over the head with something heavy after a day of traveling.

Moreover, you feel like something heavy is actually on you, and you peek open a bleary eye to see Bucky over your shoulder, his arm slung across your waist like it was always meant to be there.

“Shit,” you whisper, hoping you don’t wake him, but also wanting to get out of this situation as soon as possible. You scramble for your phone, the groan leaving him as he wakes up a noise you try to convince yourself you don’t want to hear again.

“What time is it,” he asks, his voice rough with sleep. You shiver.

“Eight,” you reply, finally reaching your phone and sliding a thumb across the screen to turn the alarm off.

He realizes his position and rolls away from you casually, so you mentally decide to pretend you weren’t cuddled up to him for most of the night.

You already have a text from Peggy asking if you want to join her, Steve, and Bucky for breakfast, so you have no choice but to get up and shower, trying to forget the warm feeling of being held by Bucky Barnes.

In an hour, you’re both waiting on a busy street for the almost-newlyweds, and you see them before they see you, Steve’s broad form and Peggy’s impeccable posture unmistakable. You smile unconsciously - they look so happy. You feel a pang though, because you don’t think you’ve ever been with someone who made you feel so carefree.

“Short stuff!” Steve calls, and you roll your eyes, muttering under your breath about how you’re not that short while Bucky snickers next to you, but before you can berate Steve, he’s gathering you into a hug, nearly lifting you off the ground.

Over Steve’s shoulders you see Bucky give Peggy a kiss on the cheek and a shy smile as they hug, exchanging quiet words.

You and Peggy might have known each other first, but she and Bucky bonded right away, making you wonder (not for the first time) why it seemed to be only you that Bucky had trouble getting to know. You brush off the thought - this week was about your friends and their wedding, and you were going to stop worrying about anything that wasn’t making sure this wedding was perfect.

“Missed you,” Steve whispered, “Did you get in okay? Bucky said you were late.”

You roll your eyes again. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

He smiles. “Go say hi to Peg. She’s excited you’re here.” He gives your shoulders a squeeze before passing you off to Peggy, who hugs you so tight you can barely breathe.

“You look so--” you sigh, unable to find the words, “Happy. You look so happy, it’s like you’re already married.”

She grins. “I’ve been dreaming about this day for years. I’m excited.”

The four of you sit down to eat and you have the best breakfast you’ve ever eaten. Around a mouthful, you tell the table, “I never want to eat anything but these potatoes for the rest of my life.”

The rest of the meal is spent talking about the wedding and any last minute items that need to be done before the rehearsal dinner later that night. It sounds like everything is going as planned, which doesn’t surprise you when it comes to Peggy Carter.

“And so far everyone has arrived, we think. Have you run into anyone at the hotel?” Steve asks, and you and Bucky both freeze, before he speaks.

“Not… no. Haven’t seen anyone else yet.”

Steve looks between the two of you, eyes narrowed. “What? What happened?” He puts down his fork. “You can’t be fighting already, it’s only been--”

“They gave us one room.” You blurt. “There was a mixup and we have to share a room.”

Bucky steps on your foot hard, because you’ve forgotten his warning about not telling Steve and keeping the groom from stressing out the day before his wedding.

“It’s fine,” Bucky says, waving a hand. “It’s just sleeping.”

You want to scream. Was it just sleeping when we cuddled all night? There wasn’t even alcohol involved!

“Right.” You say brightly, “It’s fine. No big deal.”

Steve is frowning. “I can call--”

“No!” You and Bucky both exclaim.

“Please don’t worry about this. It’s a non-issue,” You say, looking to Peggy for reassurance.

“They’re adults, Steve.”

“Adults who always seem to want to rip each other’s heads off,” he mutters, reaching for his coffee. Over the rim, he meets your eyes, and you shake your head minutely. Don’t you dare.

Breakfast is a little subdued after that, but soon it’s time for Steve and Peggy to go to the venue to make any last minute changes, leaving you and Bucky to your own devices for a few hours before you have to get ready for the rehearsal dinner.

Before parting ways, your phone buzzes.

Steve Rogers: You sure you’re going to survive this?

You: I will murder you.

Across the sidewalk, Steve snorts.

Steve Rogers: I’m just saying. Your crush is kind of obvious, you know?

You: Lucky for you, Bucky literally pays no attention to me. It’ll be fine.

Steve Rogers: That’s what you think.

You meet Steve’s eyes, trying to figure out what he means, but he just shrugs and puts his phone back in his pocket.

The four of you say your goodbyes, and then you and Bucky are left standing on the street awkwardly.

“I was going to go to a museum--”

“I might check to see if Sam is here yet--”

You both speak at the same time.

Bucky clears his throat. “Right. Well, I’ll go check on Sam and you go to your museum or whatever. You have a room key?”

You nod. “Yep. All set.”

“I guess… have fun. Don’t get lost.”

You scowl. “Great, thank you for your concern.”

You’re halfway down the street when you hear him call, “Don’t be late!”

You flip him off over your shoulder and pretend you don’t hear him laughing as you keep heading down the street in the complete opposite direction. 

You get back to the hotel in the early afternoon so you can shower and start getting ready for the rehearsal dinner. Outside your shared room, you hear voices, so you pause. You can tell one is Bucky, and soon you recognize the other voice is Sam.

“Really, dude. You sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine.” Bucky’s voice is gruff. “Do I want to be in London? Not particularly. Can I separate my issues from celebrating this wedding? Yes.”

A sigh, but you can’t tell who it comes from.

“It’s okay to have mixed feelings about London.” Sam says. “The last time--”

“I know what happened the last time I was here.” Bucky interrupts, voice firm and icy. “Sorry. I just-- I don’t want to talk about it.”

A pause. “Okay, then let’s talk about your other issue.” Sam says, and even through the door, you can tell he’s got a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Absolutely not.”

“Come on! You’re sharing a room with--”

Not wanting to overhear something else you shouldn’t, you hurriedly put your key in the slot and push the door open.

The two men are silent, staring at you, and you can feel the guilty look all over your face, so you try your best to school your expression into nonchalance.

“Long time no see,” Sam says, standing up to give you a hug.

“Hi, Sam.”

You make some small talk and try not to notice how quiet Bucky is being. He can’t really hate this situation that much… right? Or is it just this place in general? You’re too afraid to ask.

After another hour or so, Sam leaves the two of you to get ready himself, and you race to the bathroom to shower and start doing your makeup.

You’re very conscious of the fact that Bucky is getting changed in the room just beside you, so you take your time getting ready, making sure you’ve done every last thing you can think of before you emerge.

You’re not prepared for the sight of him, more dressed up than you’ve ever seen him. A dark blue button-up with the sleeves rolled to his elbow, showcasing part of a tattoo that snakes down from his left bicep. His newly-shorn hair is artfully styled, the watch on his right wrist glinting in the late day sun streaming into the room.

God, how are you going to get through tomorrow? Seeing him as one of the groomsmen? You’re going to die.

“You look nice,” you manage, not wanting to stare at him any longer.

He looks like he doesn’t know what to say. You’re not sure if it’s the compliment he’s having trouble with, or what. “Thanks,” he says eventually. “You do too.”

The rehearsal dinner is like a fairytale, just like you knew it would be. The food is great, the company is even better, and even Bucky looks like he’s having a good time. There’s lots of toasting the bride and groom to be, and that involves a lot of drinks. A lot.

By the time you’re walking back to the hotel with Bucky, you’re a little unsteady on your feet, but he’s not doing much better, your hips bumping every few feet as you walk.

“You’re a lightweight,” he laughs, and you attempt to glare at him, but you think it comes off more like you’re leering at him. He reaches for your elbow gently and tugs you into the elevator with him, and it’s a challenge to stop thinking all the inappropriate thoughts that start clouding your mind.

Safely in your room, you sit on the edge of the bed and watch as Bucky starts to get ready for bed. You need to get your makeup off and into your pajamas, but you can’t bring yourself to move.

“You’re staring.”

You grin, “Just enjoying the show.” Instantly horrified, you clap a hand over your mouth. “I didn’t say that. You didn’t hear it.”

Bucky’s a little pink around the ears, but he looks smug. “So you think I’m hot?”

You groan. “Shut up. You know you’re hot.”

He looks surprised for a half second, and you fall backwards onto the bed.

“Stop it, stop asking me stuff. I can’t be trusted.” Apparently you can’t take your own advice, because you start thinking out loud, “It’s too bad you hate me. We’d be like, the hottest couple of all time.”

It’s silent, and when you finally look up, he’s staring at you, a frown on his face. “Is that what you think?”

“I know we’d be the hottest couple of all time--”

“No,” he interrupts, exasperated. “You think I hate you?”

“I think--” you suddenly clamp your mouth shut. “I think I need to go to the bathroom.” Bolting past him, you make it there in time, and barely register him coming in a few seconds later, holding your hair back.

God. How embarrassing. Love this journey for you, your brain helpfully supplies.

The last thing you remember before falling asleep is Bucky helping you out of your dress, and a cool hand on your forehead. Then it all goes black. 

Your alarm goes off early again the next day. Wedding day. You’re due at the venue with the rest of the bridal party at nine to start hair and makeup.

Your mouth feels like it’s made of cotton, and you curse everyone involved in the dinner for doing so many toasts.

“God,” you groan, and when you open your eyes, you see Bucky on the chair in the living area, a steaming cup of coffee in his hands. “What--”

“Here,” he says, tossing you your phone, alarm still going off.

There’s a text from Steve asking if you’re alive, and another from Peggy’s bridesmaid group chat with a million love-themed emojis.

“Thanks,” you grumble, bits and pieces of the night before coming back to you. Startled, you look up, “Bucky, I am so sorry--”

“Don’t worry about it,” he waves a dismissive hand at you.

“I didn’t mean to drink so much. I’m such an annoying drunk. I--”

“Really,” he interrupts your apology, “It’s okay. You weren’t that bad.”

He’s quiet, which isn’t that different, but he looks… more intense than usual. Contemplative. It makes you nervous. Especially because the night before is still coming to you in pieces.

“Have you been up long?” You ask.

His eyes shutter. “A bit. Had trouble sleeping.”

An awkward silence settles. “What time do you have to--”

“You probably need to get going--”

You both speak at the same time, and strangely, your throat feels tight as he won’t meet your eyes. How badly had you screwed things up the night before?

“Right. I do have to get going. Just going to--” you gesture to the bathroom, and he nods. You make your escape into the shower and spend a little longer than necessary in there, trying like hell to figure out what you could have said to him.

It’s hours later before you see Bucky again. You and the rest of the bridal party are helping Peggy with finishing touches, and the photographer is taking action shots, the entire room a mix of blush pink and gauzy white.

Peggy is a vision - her hair curled and pinned in an old-fashioned style befitting a princess, and her lips painted her signature cherry red.

“Steve’s going to die,” you say, grinning at her, and she winks.

“Almost ready, girls?” She asks everyone else, and there’s a cheer before everyone begins to head out into the hall, gathering with the groomsmen to begin the walk down the aisle.

You’re blindsided by the sight of Bucky in his tux. You take a moment to be thankful you’re walking with Sam, not with Bucky, because surely he’d be able to hear the way your heart is pounding just looking at him.

He looks similarly awed, and your ego takes a moment to soak it up before you can feel embarrassed at the attention.

“You’re… you look great.” He says quietly.

“Thank you. You too.”

The smile he gives you is so soft, you can barely stand it.

“Okay Barnes, hands off my date.” Sam interrupts, linking your arm through his.

Bucky rolls his eyes. Before he can say anything else, the procession is starting, and you’re swept up in the romance of this moment finally happening.

Steve cries.

You do a little, too.

You catch Bucky looking at you with those intense eyes during the ceremony twice, and you’re suddenly more nervous than you’ve ever been, because you still have eight days left of your trip. Possibly eight more days rooming with Bucky if he doesn’t leave before you.

If the tension doesn’t kill you, sleeping in the same bed with him again will, for sure.

The reception space is even more beautiful than the ceremony, and even as you sit there, chin in your palm watching Steve and Peggy dance, you think you’ve never felt more romantic in your entire life.

You dance with Sam, and then Steve finds you, his eyes already a little glazed over.

“Come on, you can’t sit there all night.”

You huff as he finds your hand and tugs you out of your seat. “I haven’t been sitting here all night.”

“You’re not going to deny your best friend a dance. That’s that.”

You smile, shaking your head. “You’re ridiculous.”

It’s quiet for a few moments as the two of you sway slowly, and when you look up at Steve, he’s only got eyes for Peggy, who’s dancing with Sam on the other side of the room.

“I’m happy for you, Rogers.”

He grins down at you, “When are you going to start trying to make yourself happy?”

You groan. “Steve, don’t.”

“I’m serious! Look… I know Bucky is… he seems serious sometimes, and it can be hard for him to open up, but I’ve seen the way he looks at you when he thinks no one notices.”

The thought of it sends butterflies straight to the pit of your stomach, but there’s just no way that could be true. No matter how much of a romantic Steve Rogers is and how much he would love for his best friends to get together, it’s just not going to happen.

“Incoming,” Steve whispers, and you turn over your shoulder to see Bucky there, looking a little sheepish.

“Sorry to interrupt.”

Steve steps away from you, and your eyes widen at him, panicking. “No problem,” he says to Bucky, “I’ve got a bride to get back to.”

Bucky takes a step closer. “Dance?”

As if on cue, the DJ plays something soft and slow, and you’re left powerless to resist Bucky and the way he’s looking at you - a little guarded, but still open and vulnerable. You feel like you have no choice but to take his hand, a shock working its way up your arm at the contact.

May my hands be the hands you hold onto When you let go of everything else May my arms be the arms that you fall into When the night gets too heavy to hold by yourself

You feel so self conscious as you dance with Bucky, his touch gentler than you ever allowed yourself to imagine it might be. He holds you close, your clasped hands resting over his heart, and you force yourself to enjoy this quiet moment with him.

If you're looking for a safe place to land I will guide you home And if the levy of your life breaks all your plans You'll never be alone

You think about the first time you met him - he was so different then. The same stoic Bucky Barnes you know now, but less quick to crack a joke or a smile. He stuck close to Steve and Sam, but it was clear to you that there was so much more to him than his outward appearance.

There’s the loyalty he shows to his friends. He’s smart - probably the smartest person you know, and so driven. He’s fiercely protective and is observant to a fault, the result of Army training he’ll probably never get rid of.

And -- you hate to admit it, but there was a time when you thought Steve was right. You’d catch Bucky staring out of the corner of your eye and think maybe, maybe there’s something there. And then like a switch flipped, he was quicker to argue with you, every little thing turning into a reason for the two of you to fight.

Now though, the gentle way he’s holding you and the scent of his cologne flooding your senses… you can almost trick yourself into thinking your feelings are reciprocated. That Bucky was just as nervous around you as you are around him.

The song comes to an end, and so does the moment.

If you dance with me Feel my heartbeat through your body to your feet If you dance with me Hold me in the dark now, until both your eyes can see And if it's you and me against the world If I'm your man, you're my girl We'll win you'll see, if you dance with me

Steve and Peggy are leaving in the morning for Paris for a few days, and then to Spain. You feel a pang of jealousy watching them leave the reception, hands and eyes locked together as if nothing could tear them apart.

For a moment, you so desperately want that kind of affection with someone else. You take a deep breath and force yourself to get it together.

“Share a cab back?” A deep voice behind you asks, and you’re surprised to see Bucky. He made himself scarce after your dance and you didn’t see him again for the rest of the night.

You nod, not trusting your own voice.

The cab ride to your hotel is nearly silent. Every small noise is amplified, like you shifting in your seat, and Bucky loosening his bow tie.

“Have you decided how long you’re going to stay?” You ask, finally, the one question that’s been plaguing you.

He looks at you, eyes impossibly blue in the streetlight glow. “A few days, I think. I have some… I have some stuff I want to see before I go home.” He shakes himself out of whatever memory he’s in. “You? The full ten days?”

You shrug. “If I can keep this room, yeah. I can’t remember the last time I took a vacation.”

Bucky nods, turning to look back out the window again. At the hotel, he helps you out of the car and pays for the cab despite your protests, and when you get inside the elevator, you’re struck again by how handsome he looks, flushed from alcohol and a little more tousled than usual; his bow tie hanging loose around his neck and his top two buttons undone.

He catches you looking once again, but you can’t look away. You know you’re not imagining this time how his eyes darken a shade, and you watch with rapt fascination as he licks his lips, leaning down ever so slightly -- the elevator dings and the doors open.

The spell is broken.

“Bucky?”

He shakes himself out of his thoughts almost physically, and then he’s walking away from you, heading towards the room without a backward glance. 

The next morning, you and Bucky are tangled together so much that there’s no way you can get up without him waking up first. Your first thought is embarrassment, but then you just… give in. You let yourself enjoy it, only feeling guilty for a few minutes.

You’re so warm and you feel so protected… you once again curse Steve Rogers for making you think about your persistent crush on Bucky, because now you can’t get it out of your head.

“Morning.” Bucky’s voice is rough, and you jump, because he’s still got his arms around you. And he’s awake.

“Morning,” you say cautiously.

“Sorry,” he slowly pulls away from you, the tips of his fingers lingering on your arms. “I’ve been told I’m like an octopus in my sleep.”

Something about Bucky seems different first thing in the morning. His walls aren’t up.

“It’s okay. I’m not complaining about free cuddles.”

He smiles, you can feel it where his stubble scratches your temple. There’s something like giddy excitement brewing in you.

“Can I-- I have a favor to ask.” He says. “I have to go somewhere today… I-- if you don’t have plans, would you come with me?”

You crane your neck to meet his eyes. He looks nervous.

“Okay,” you say simply, because you think if he keeps looking at you like that, you’d follow him anywhere.

He tells you to dress casually, so you opt for a simple jeans and t-shirt outfit with a cardigan thrown overtop. You pack whatever you think you’ll need for a day in your backpack and follow Bucky out when he’s ready. He seems to know where he’s going, and you walk with him in comfortable silence.

He starts fidgeting the closer you get to a massive hospital, and when you get close enough to read the sign, you realize this must have been where he was taken for part of his recovery.

“Bucky--” You breathe, because this is too much. He’s trusting you with too much, and you’re not sure you deserve it.

“I--” He swallows hard, “The doctor who saved my arm still works here. I try to write as often as I can, but I thought a face-to-face visit was probably overdue.” He looks down at you, “I just-- I haven’t been here in years. I don’t think I can do it alone.” His words are measured and careful, and you realize how hard it must be for him to be here in the first place, let alone trusting you with something like this.

You feel tears pricking your eyes and you fight to keep them back. “Okay, Bucky. Yeah. Let’s do this.”

He smiles shakily at you, and on a whim, you reach for his hand. When he freezes, you realize you’ve gripped his left hand, the one with the scars encompassing his wrist and three of his fingers, the hand connected to the same arm that was nearly blown off in Afghanistan, the one that nearly cost him his life.

He doesn’t let go. If anything, he squeezes your hand tighter, and you feel another tendril of affection curl around your heart.

Inside, he introduces himself to the woman at the reception desk, and after a few questions, you’re directed towards an elevator and given directions to the floor the doctor’s office is on. You think Bucky has memories of this place for the way he leads you there with almost no words.

A quick knock on the door, and then he’s shaking hands and exchanging broad grins with a young woman.

“Sergeant Barnes!” She exclaims after letting go of his hand. “It’s about time you showed your face around here.”

Bucky is blushing and you’re so enamored with him you can barely stand it. While he’s talking, you dig your phone out of your pocket and text Peggy.

I know you’re on your honeymoon, but SOS! I need help.

Bucky turns to you, and you realize he’s trying to introduce you.

“This is Shuri. She’s the one who operated on me and helped me with PT after my injury.”

“It’s really great to meet you,” you tell her, trying to ignore her curious look.

“You as well.”

She and Bucky start talking again, and even though you can tell Bucky’s still a little nervous to be here, you’re enthralled by the sibling-like relationship he has with his former doctor.

“I want to make a donation,” Bucky says quietly. “I didn’t know who to go to about it. I want to give it specifically to this ward, to the work you’re doing.”

You feel like you’re intruding, but he keeps looking to you like he needs reassurance, so you smile at him.

“I’ve-- I’ve been putting money away over the last few years and I’m at a place now where I want to help.”

You send another text to Peggy.

Seriously, SOS!!!!! If you don’t call me soon, I’m going to do something I regret.

A minute later, your phone rings, and you excuse yourself to the hallway.

“Thank God.”

“Darling. I love you, but what could possibly be so important that you had to call on the first day of--”

“I think I’m in love with Bucky and I have no idea what to do about it.”

A choked noise comes from behind you and you whirl around, mortified to see Bucky there, eyes wide, pale.

“Oh, shit. Peggy-- I have to go.”

“Are you kidding?”

“Bye, love you.” You hang up quickly, and take a step towards Bucky before you even register you’re doing it. “Bucky--”

“Are you-- I heard you were talking to Peg, I thought something was wrong.”

“I’m-- oh God, Bucky, I-- I have to go.”

“Wait--”

Your tears are overflowing now. You’re so embarrassed, you have no idea how you’re going to look him in the eye, let alone sleep in the same bed as him.

Vision blurry, you decide to take the stairs two at a time instead of waiting for the elevator, and you’re gone before he can catch up to you. 

Bucky’s ears are ringing as he stares after you. He feels like he has shell shock again - unable to comprehend anything that just happened.

“Need a chair, soldier?” Shuri asks him, clearly having overheard the entire thing, and he nods dumbly, basically collapsing into a chair near her desk.

I think I’m in love with Bucky.

Your words echo over and over in his mind, and he honestly can’t believe what he just heard.

Your friendship has always been complicated, but the way Bucky feels about you is simple. He’s crazy about you. Crazy for you, and terrified that he’s not good enough for you, so he’s pushed you away time and time again, despite all evidence pointing to the fact that you might like him too.

Sharing a room -- a bed -- with you has been every one of his daydreams come to life. (A lot less kissing, sure, but whatever)

Now this-- this revelation, it’s too much.

“All the most important events of your life seem to take place at this hospital, Bucky.” Shuri says, gentle teasing in her tone.

“Jesus Christ.” Bucky groans, “What the hell do I do?”

“You’re going to go after her.” Shuri says simply, like it’s the most obvious answer in the world. She rolls her eyes. “It’s obvious you’re in love with her too.” Bucky thinks he must look horrified, because she continues, “You’ve never brought anyone here before. I couldn’t convince you to come back even for a tour of the new labs. And the one time you do come of your own free will, you bring her. What does that tell you?”

A half hour later, Bucky has called you three times and has checked at the hotel twice, and now he’s at a park near the hotel, on a bench, having no idea what to do.

Of course that’s when Steve calls.

“I hear you’re having a crisis.”

Bucky groans. “‘M not having a crisis. A moment, maybe.”

“She told you she loved you?”

“She told Peggy she loved me, and I was eavesdropping, and she ran away crying.”

Steve is silent.

“Right? It’s bad. It’s so bad. Maybe if I’d just been… I don’t know. More talkative during this trip? Or maybe I should have just gotten my own room and saved us both the trouble.”

“Look, no offense, but you’re both so dense.”

Bucky scoffs. “Thanks.”

“I love her like a sister and love you like a brother, but everyone knows you two have a thing for each other. Why else did everyone steer clear of the two of you at the wedding? It’s obvious, dude.”

Bucky has never felt so stupid in his entire life. All these years, he tried to distance himself from you, sure that he was only going to get hurt if he put himself out there. He liked you too much to risk ruining a friendship, even if it was barely a friendship to begin with. Quick to argue and stubborn, you were also generous and kind, beautiful, and passionate about your work and your friends and your family.

You’re everything he’s ever wanted, and you terrify him.

And you love him.

Apparently.

He’s on his feet again.

“I have to go,” He tells Steve. “I’ll text you later.”

“Good luck.” 

You’re back at your shared hotel room, trying to pack up and leave before Bucky finds you. It’s childish, sure, but you can’t take this anymore.

You’re going to get a new room at a different hotel, and try to salvage the rest of your vacation.

The door opens before you can finish zipping your bag, and you turn to see Bucky storming in, his face unreadable and a piece of paper in his hand.

“What the hell is this?”

You turn away. “It’s a note.”

You assume he’s noticed your bags. “Were you really going to take off and just leave a note that says you’re sorry?”

His hand on your elbow forces you to turn around, and you feel like you’re going to cry again.

His face softens. “Talk to me. Please.”

You bury your face in your hands. “I’m so sorry, Bucky. You were-- you were trying to do something for you, and my loud mouth just had to ruin it. I never meant for you to find out--”

“You were never going to tell me you’re in love with me?”

You blanche. “God, I mean-- I don’t know! It’s not… this isn’t easy…”

“You still think I hate you.”

You freeze, thinking back to your drunk conversation from a few nights ago. “I don’t think you hate me.”

“Good. Because I don’t. Far from it, actually.”

You try to squash the little seed of hope blooming in your chest.

“You know, when we first met, I was jealous of you. You were closer to Steve in a year than anyone else, and I didn’t know where I fit anymore. I didn’t understand what made you so special.”

Frowning, you try to turn away, but he won’t let you.

“But then I got to know you. I got to know how you care about people, and how you looked after Steve when he first got back. I learned how you do everything you can to make other people happy, but don’t try to do the same thing for yourself. I learned that you’re a lightweight and you’re a flirt when you’re drunk, and I learned that I--” He stops, catches his breath. “I learned that it only took me a few months to fall in love with you so deeply that I can’t see my way out.”

Your insides feel like mush. The touch of his hand slides up to your shoulder, and you feel more alive the closer he gets to you.

“I pushed you away, because you’re way too good for me, sweetheart. You always have been. You don’t need someone like me weighing you down. And when this room mix-up happened, it was both the best and worst thing to happen to me.”

“Don’t you dare,” you whisper, and his brows furrow, confused, as you continue. “Don’t you dare say you’re not good enough. You’re-- I’ve never met a better person than you, James Barnes. I think I’ve loved you since the day we met.”

You’re both silent, staring into each other’s eyes, the room crackling with the energy of confessions and tension.

You don’t know who moves first, but suddenly you’re kissing, Bucky’s hand moving to the back of your head as his free arm slides around your waist to haul you against him. Fire licks through your veins as he deepens the kiss, barely letting you break for air before dragging you in again, consuming you entirely.

It could be minutes or hours that you’re kissing him in the middle of your hotel room surrounded by your luggage, but when you break apart, your legs are weak and he chuckles as he keeps you upright, a smug smile growing on his face.

“Shut up.” You say weakly.

“Don’t leave.”

You sigh, forehead leaning against his collarbones.

“I haven’t had a vacation in a long time either, now that I think about it.” He offers, head tilting to one side as he looks you over. “You think you could stand to room with me for another week?”

You can’t stop touching him; hands gliding over his shoulders as he noses at the spot behind your ears where you’re the most sensitive. “I might be able to be talked into it.”

He smiles, and it’s blinding. “I love you,” he whispers, right before he kisses you again.

Later that night when you call Peggy on speakerphone and tell her the entire story, Steve takes the phone and says “told you so,” before hanging up.

Bucky’s arms around your waist, you’re already thinking of writing the concierge who made the room mix-up a thank you card.

End

[sapphicflower-ao3]

I don't know if you ever get asks like this but do you have favorite BKDK fics that you recommend people? Cause you're a really cool author and I love your stories but I love to see what you like too.

hi!! i love receiving asks!!!! seeing this in my inbox made my heart do happy little twirls wow thank you dear anon. i’m over the moon that you like my fics. i kiss you...

ugh i love sooo many amazing fics but i will force myself to limit this to what i re-read a lot. i have a lot of faves from particular authors but i’ll keep to one fic per author for diversity purposes lol

i’ll probably make a part 2 later though bc there’s just so many that i love :)

General Audiences

1) “His Hands” by bkdkwritingsdump (1K). short and sweet established bkdk with my fav trope which is hand holding...

2) “Luciferin” by Ivoreverie (2K). the self indulgent soft katsuki getting together fluff fic that i ghostwrote akdnajda nah but seriously this is just sooo sweet. 

3)  “Package Deal” by celestialgunfireopera (5K). a rlly good izuku introspection fic w cute as heck bkdk!!! i love the way this author makes them get together.

4) “still feel” by supercrunch (8K). aaahh this was just really warm. this author is one of my favs tbh! supercrunch and iciclebeanbags are my humour inspo authors lmao.

Teen and Up Audiences

1)  "Kiss It Better" by bergbath (4K). i have re-read this countless times oh my god. it just warms me and makes me smile like crazy.

2)  "infused" by neckbrace (11K). this one is one of my inspiration fics!!!!!! it introduced me to the romantic tension tag which i adore. i will just never get over how soft and perfect this fic is.

3)  "the floor ain't so bad (when you're looking up)" by thispieceofmind (14K). i rlly enjoy bkdk interacting privately & growing closer, so this was a balm to my heart.

4)  "Drumming Noise" by iciclebeanbags (@face-family) (32K). i always rec this bc it’s one of my all time faves!! it's hilarious and moving and so in character that it feels 100% canon. [i also rec every single one of their fics bc they are all just absolutely gorgeous. “You Make A Fool Of Love” is the sequel to this and it is BREATHTAKING. Mind the tags! It is E rated!]

Mature Audiences

1)  "The Only Hell I Know Is Without You" by ChromaKi (@chroma-ki) (10K). this is just so passionate and gave me so many emotions omg. i got the tingles all over fr (their fic “Two Hearts, One Mind” has also been dear to my heart for a while now).

2) “warm hands” by flowercafe (20K). i only read this recently but it was soo UGGHHH just SO beautiful oh my gosh. once again.. the hand holding.. i’m weak for it. note: the last chapter hasn’t been posted (it’s been a while too) but the good news is that the second last chapter could be read as the last chapter bc it sounds a bit like a finale ahaha

3)  "Notice Me, Nerd" by useless_donut (40K). this one is just HILARIOUS! truly one of the funniest and entertaining fics i've ever had the pleasure of reading. i’m a sucker for gay panicking and obliviousness

4)  "last days of war" by antisora (44K). this is one of my all time favourites! it might make more sense if you've watched pacific rim but i know ppl who haven't watched it and still enjoyed it!! it’s just.. beautiful.

Explicit

1) “Torrential” by MiraChaDoodles @mirachadoodles (8K). steamy bkdk having Feelings in the rain is just mwah!!!!

2)  "Royal Affairs" by GuardianMira (18K). i don't read too many royalty AUs tbh but this makes my heart flutter and i re-read it a lot bc it makes me so happy aaa

3)  "Ingenium" by Crandberrycrush (85K). this is a space AU fic which is SO gripping! there’s this One Scene made me actually bawl my eyes out holy crap.. pleaseee this fic is so worth reading! i inhaled it in a day and screamed abt it with my friend bc damn what a wild experience.

4)  "Intersecting Lines" by roadtripwithlucifer (@roadtripwithlucifer). (124K). this fic is such a perfect balance of breathtaking plot and Straight Horny... also the ending is absolutely beautiful and i can shamelessly say that it made me cry. sighs. [i also recommend their ongoing fic "Battle of the Bands" which is another masterpiece, but since it's not finished yet that is entirely up to u!]

i’m beginning to realise that i read a lot of longfic lmao... maybe one day i’ll make a post for my fav shorter fics wlskdjakajah

[bangtanloverboys]

TEASER: until i see you again // ksj

summary - prince seokjin of philos is chosing his bride at his 25th birthday ball and you want to be anywhere but there. unfortunately you’re expected to go as a friend of the king and to escort your younger sister there; to see if she has a chance to win the prince’s heart. unbeknowst to you all, the prince’s eyes are already set upon someone

pairing - prince!seokjin x duke!reader

genre - fluff, angst; royalty au, childhood friends to lovers au, star crossed lovers au 

estimated word count - ~7-8k // 550 for teaser

warnings - historical inaccuracies, reader being an idiot, kissing, implied/referenced homophobia, sad ending, star crossed lovers

authors note - hope yall enjoy this little teaser! it’s nearly done so i thought i’d give a little sneak peak 

read here

“Shh! We’re almost there!” He shushed you as you arrived at the top of the stairs, revealing the observatory to you. You’re in absolute awe of the room, the large windows making up the walls and ceilings; the moon fully illuminating your surroundings. “Over here!” Seokjin tugged you towards the direction of one of the windows, a telescope set up and ready for use. 

You pulled your hand from his grasp and let your hands trace over the cool brass, enthralled with the device before you. When the two of you were boys, you weren’t allowed in the tower observatory in fear that you might break something. When you got older, you’d only been in there once before, but never beneath a clear night sky. 

A rush of chill air hit your body, you looked up to see the prince had opened up a window, giving more room for the telescope. “Take a look!” He stepped away from the device, making space for you.

Leaning down, you peered into the eyepiece. A gasp escaped your lips as you took in the brilliance of the stars right before your very eyes. You could pinpoint a few of the constellations you remember reading about. But instead of the fuzzy dots you were so used to seeing, you saw them clearly; they seemed even brighter. “Wow, Seokjin, I. . .” you straightened to look at him, who looked very pleased with himself, “I don’t know what to say? This is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in years.” That was partially a lie. He was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen in your entire life, nothing could top him. 

“You’re welcome,” he said with a sly smile. “I got it recently and I thought of you.”

“You. . . thought of me?” Your heart fluttered at the thought.

“Of course, Y/N.” He took a step closer to you, “I always think of you.” His words were soft as he gently raised his hand to your face, brushing a few stray hairs from your eyes. Your breath hitched as the tips of his fingers grazed over your skin. Meeting his eyes, you noticed for a split second that his gaze flickered down to your mouth. Then he slowly began to lean towards you. Your feet turned to stone, you couldn’t move as he got closer and closer to you. You weren’t sure what was happening. It couldn’t be happening. It had to be a dream. Your mind was racing at a million thoughts a second, as Seokjin got closer and closer. Just about when the prince’s lips seemed to hover over your own-

DONG

The sound of a clock chimed loudly in the observatory, shattering the moment and bringing you back to reality. Immediately, you stepped away from Seokjin, your face burning hot. “It’s late. I- I need to get to bed.” You turned away from him, embarrassed at what had just happened. 

“Right.” There was a twinge of dismay in his voice as he spoke. “I’ll walk you back to your room.”

“That won’t be necessary!” You cringed at how quickly you rejected his offer. “It’s late, and your chambers are farther than mine. Goodnight, Your Highness.” You bowed your head then rapidly made your way back down the stairs, barely hearing the prince’s ‘Goodnight’ in return. 

[etherealino]

kisses, lmh

‣ synopsis: time passes by, his kisses evolve and so does your relationship with him.

‣ genre:  college au, fluff, angst (if you squint)

‣ warning(s):  swearing, guy tryna force reader to like him (more like they fight actually), reader gets in a fight but i didn’t really described it lmao. shshshs im sorryyyy

‣ word count: 8k+

‣ note: this is unproofread!! please, i said to myself i was not going to post another minho fic for a whole ass month or so but i was feeling it and this is the only thing i could write for. also, this is like the softest fic i’ve ever written. also, if you’re confused with reader’s course,, that’s fine bcs me too but somewhere in the music field lmao i honestly wrote this in a very unorganized way, sigh

one. – accidental kiss

hwang: y/n, where are you??

you: main gate, why?

hwang: the professor’s looking for you! didn’t you promise him last semester you wouldn’t be late anymore?

Oh, shit. You sigh. Honestly? The only reason why you made that promise was because you thought he wouldn’t be your professor anymore this semester. And seriously, it’s the first day of the second semester, who would have a class right away? Right, your torturous of a professor.

You ran, not minding anything but to get into class right away. You wanted to just flip everything over right in front of your professor. You can rant and rant about his shitty attitude, his large ass nose for being nosy about everything, his love for humiliating his students right in front of the whole entire class. You can rant about how you wanted to kick his shin, throw him across the river, slap him with the 1000 word handwritten essay paper right in front of the whole class. But you know it in yourself, you won’t. You have to forget how much of a war freak you are because you need to pass his class.

Pent up frustration being in your mind, you finally stepped on your building turning to the corner to the stairs only to bump into something. Or rather, someone. You felt something soft and gentle against your lips when you bumped into that person and you sigh, bending down to pick the person’s book up.

The person didn’t move an inch, still standing in his position where you bumped into. Weird. usually, a person would bend down, too, to pick their book up. You stood up, looking up to see someone gorgeous. Lee Minho. Ever since you entered the university, you had this huge crush on him and you won’t even deny it if someone asks you.

The sun rays that entered through the transparent window enlightened his brown hazelnut eyes and highlighted his features. But why is his hand over his lips?

Oh, shit.

You put a hand over your own lips. Shit. You accidentally kissed Lee Minho.

Not being able to say anything, you ran off going to your class.

Minho stood still, his eyes wide as you ran off. he shared a conversation or two with you from the past years being in the university, but you two never really became close. Whenever there are times that there are close opportunities the two of you would be left alone and when he’s about to strike up a conversation, a block mate of yours would come and get you needing you for something.

Minho runs his hand through his face and up to his hair as he looks around, hoping no one sees how red his cheeks are currently. He starts to walk and in the middle of his small journey to his class, then he stops as he suddenly realized something. He looks back to where the incident happened.

Shit. You have his book.

two. – kiss on the hand

After that very humiliating incident that happened, you would always avoid Minho everytime you see him ahead of you. As for the book, you asked Hyunjin to return Minho’s book. Of course, Hyunjin being a teasing friend would ask. “Why do you have his book?”

You blinked, stammering. “W-What?”

“I said, why do you have his book?” Hyunjin asks with a teasing smile on his face. You wanted to slap it off.

“I saw it on the ground and it has his name on it.” You said with a shrug. Hyunjin smirks and you really want to slap him. He doesn’t even know about your crush on Minho and he’s here making you flustered about Minho.

“Where?” Hyunjin asks.

“What?”

“Where is his name?” Hyunjin asks and you looked at the book. It has no name on it. But you were too embarrassed about your encounter with Minho.

“Look, I saw him drop it and when I picked it up he was already gone. I don’t even know why I said I saw his name there.” You said and shoved the book on Hyunjin’s hands. You look behind Hyunjin when you see Minho coming your way. Shit, he looks so good. Black jeans, white shirt, a denim jacket and his backpack slung on one shoulder as he walks and most likely, Minho would speak to Hyunjin since they’re very close friends. And most likely, you would get all bashful around him.

“I’m gonna get going,” you say, turning around, but Hyunjin grabs your arm.

“Hey, we have the same class, remember?” Hyunjin says. “Let’s go together, chill. We won’t go late.” You bit your lip, thinking of something stupid to get away from him. Then, you looked up.

“You see that, Jin?” You ask, pointing at the ceiling as a way to distract the tall boy.

“What?” Hyunjin asks as his grip loosens, his head tilting up to look where you pointed. You pull your hand off and ran away from your friend. Hyunjin’s eyes widen, following your every move as you push your way past through the crowd, clumsily bumping into someone occasionally.

“Hey,” Hyunjin hears as a pat on his shoulder was placed. Minho smiles at him, leaning his shoulder against the wall as he looks at Hyunjin.

“Hey,” Hyunjin smiles and his eyes land on the book he’s holding. “Is this yours?”

Minho looks at the book and sees that it was the book you took with you when the embarrassing encounter happened. “Yeah, how’d you got it?” Minho asks as he takes the book.

“Y/N saw you dropped it and she asked me to give it to you,” Hyunjin explains and Minho’s hand comes up at the back of his neck.

“R-Really?” Minho says.

“Yeah,” Hyunjin said. “You took up literature, right?”

“Yeah, Mrs. Kim.” Minho answers and Hyunjin smiles widely.

“Great, we’re having the same class.” Hyunjin says and Minho grins. Hyunjin decides that it was time for them to go now so they wouldn’t be late for the class. Hyunjin and Minho walk together, talking about the most random things the boys could think about. When they arrived at the lecture hall, Hyunjin immediately spots you sat on the back at the very corner on the window.

Hyunjin comes to you, taking the seat beside you as Minho follows him. Minho sees you and his first instinct was to look away. “Hey, Y/N,” Hyunjin says. “Why were you rushing earlier?”

“B-Because I feel like it.” You dumbly answer and Minho chuckles to himself quietly, knowing that you probably saw him coming ahead and that you were just as embarrassed as he was.

“Guess what?” Hyunjin asked.

“What?”

“Minho’s in the class, too!”

ring.

You looked down to your phone, seeing Jisung called. thank, God. “Look, Jisung called.” you said and you stood up from your seat, taking your phone with you as you exit the classroom and answered Jisung’s call.

Minho sighs in relief, still not ready to face you after the embarrassing happening.

When the professor enters the class, so did you. You put your phone to silent and started to pay attention to the professor in front.

“I want you guys to act out Romeo and Juliet by pair,” your professor started after the greeting. “Each pair would act out each scene. This class is for two hours, right? One hour for practice and the other half for presentation. Are we clear?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Okay, for the pairs,” Mrs. Kim started to announce and you weren’t paying attention, really. until your last name was called. “Y/L/N and Lee, act 1 scene 5.”

What? No, no, no, no, no. Lee? As in Lee Minho?

“Oh, wait. Sorry.” Mrs. Kim says. “There are two Lee’s in the class.”

Please, be Felix. Please, please, be Felix. You silently prayed, hands clutching against each other underneath your desk. You’d do anything—everything, just not do a project with Lee Minho, a guy you accidentally kissed and to make it even worse, on the lips. Although, wow, his lips were soft and gentle. Even if you didn’t realize it at first, his lips are soft. But it was—

“Y/L/N with Lee Minho.”

No! You look at your partner who was just a sit apart from you. He looks.. unaffected. Maybe you should be, too? I mean, it’s already been a week since it happened. But no, it was too embarrassing. Not only did you kiss the guy’s lips, but you also brought his book with you by accident. You bit your lip, holding everything in your power to not slam your head against your desk.

“Okay, go to your partners.” The professor announced. You sighed, standing up. You look to where Minho is, but he was already right in front of you.

Minho cleared his throat, his cheeks growing pinkish red. “H-Hi,” he mumbled as he stuttered all over and you wave, your cheeks growing red, too, knowing that if you speak, you will most likely embarrass yourself again. “You know what act 1 scene 5 is?” He asks. As time passed by, things got less awkward, the incident went at the back of your mind, not touching it anymore. By the time the teacher announced that it was time for the presentation, You and Minho were beyond ready.

“Your hand is like a holy place that my hand is unworthy to visit. If you’re offended by the touch of my hand, my two lips are standing here like blushing pilgrims, ready to make things better with a kiss.” Minho said with so much sincerity, goosebumps rising in your skin, feeling yourself freeze as you look at him in the eyes. He stared back as you felt yourself get lost into the galaxy of his eyes. It was then you realized, Lee Minho was more than just a college student who loves dancing. Yes, you had a crush on him since you first saw him, but it was only then you realized that maybe you always want to get lost in those galaxies in his eyes. Lee Minho is a happy person, a teasing one, they say. But when he gets to work, classes or dancing, he gets so passionate. Then suddenly, Minho takes your hand in his, giving the back of your palm a gentle kiss. You just hope Minho couldn’t feel your heart beating so fast.

But you didn’t know, Minho was feeling the same way as you are.

three. – kiss on the cheek

After the Romeo and Juliet presentation, Minho would always come with you and Hyunjin. Things got less awkward, no one brought up what happened the first day. It was lunchtime when you and the two boys met up from different classes. “I want to throw myself on the river, who wants to join?” You ask when you sit beside Hyunjin on the table. Minho and Hyunjin chuckled, smiling at you.

“What happened?” Minho asked.

“It’s just plainly tiring,” you answered, folding your arms on the table and resting your chin on your forearms as you pouted. Hyunjin rubs your back gently and you close your eyes.

“Hey, eat something,” Hyunjin said and you sigh.

“I’m fine, I’m free for the rest of the day anyway.” You said as you closed your eyes. Your phone rang and you stayed in your position, not moving one bit. Minho and Hyunjin know that you would most likely pick it up by the last ring. But no, the last ring came and you didn’t pick it up.

Hyunjin chuckles, fixing his things as he slung his bag over his shoulder. “I have to go,” Hyunjin says and you open your eyes, smiling at him. You pressed a finger to your lips and pressed it against Hyunjin’s cheek. Everyone who is close to you know that you have a habit on kissing them on the cheek whenever they would see you or go off. Hyunjin chuckles and runs a hand through your hair. “Bye, guys.”

“Bye,” you and minho said as Hyunjin walks off. Your phone rings again and this time you finally answer.

“Y/N, where are you?” Jisung asks through the phone and you could feel his pout.

“Cafeteria, why? Classes just finished.” You said as you looked around the cafeteria, thinking Jisung was probably around already. But instead, you hear Jisung huff.

“You said you’re gonna help me with the new track.” Jisung whined and your eyes widen. You totally forgot that you promised Jisung to help him.

“Oh, no. Jisung, I’m sorry. I’m on my way. Classes just finished and it was tiring.” You said with a pout. “I’ll bring something to eat, do you want anything?”

“Oh, Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t think I’d make you feel bad. I’m in my dorm, anything would be great though.” Jisung answers.

“Okay, Ji. I’ll be there soon, don’t worry. I’m so sorry.” You said.

“No! It’s okay, take your time. Bye.”

“See you.” You said and hang up, pouting. You sighed. standing up as you looked at Minho who was smiling at you. “Will you be okay being alone for now?” You asked and Minho nodded.

“Don’t worry, I can crash in my dorm. I don’t have class anymore, anyway.” Minho says and you pouted.

“I’m sorry, it’s just I promised Jisung a long time ago and—“

“Y/N,” Minho cuts you off with a giggle. “I can handle myself. Stop beating yourself up for it, okay?”

You sighed, nodding. You leant, forward, bending lightly to kiss his cheek. “Bye, Min.” You said as you ruffled his hair, walking off to Jisung’s dorm. Minho’s eyes followed you, heart pounding against his chest. He thought your friendship wasn’t on the level yet. Minho smiled. It was nice to kissed on the cheek by you once in awhile.

As for you, you were a blushing mess. It was the first time you did that and you probably got carried away. Ugh, you just wanted to press your lips against his lips and now, you got to kiss his cheek. You were just lucky you got to.

You entered Jisung’s dorm with a wide smile on your face, looking like a little girl that was given a lollipop by the doctor. “What’s that smile?” Jisung asks in a teasing manner and you shook your head, trying to suppress your lips. Jisung laughs as he pulls a chair beside him.

“Where’s the food?” Jisung asks and you make your way towards him.

“The what now?” You mumbled and Jisung raises an eyebrow.

“The food..?” Jisung says and you brush a hand through your hair, realizing you forgot that you haven’t had lunch yet and you were supposed to bring food.

You’re so hung up on Lee Minho, geez.

four. – kiss on the eyelid

The stress was finally getting into you. You hated it. Everyone hates it. But why does everyone have to dump everything to you? You’ve finally had enough of it; you were tired of being kind to everyone else and they don’t even do anything in return. A thank you would have sufficed, but no, they just got to be selfish. Did they even think that you need some time for yourself, too?

“Hey, Y/N,” you heard behind you, but you only lowered your head. Please, can someone just ignore you? You’re on the verge of letting your tears go and someone is still wanting to talk to you. You heard the person’s footsteps get nearer and nearer until you felt a hand on your shoulder. You closed your eyes, wiping the tears off. But the tears didn’t stop, it just continued to fall. “Y/N?”

Soon, you felt the hand turning you around and you looked away in hopes that they would not notice your tears. They grabbed you by your cheeks and softly, they turned your head towards them. Minho. “What happened?” He softly asks and you shook your head, your eyes avoiding his. Minho only pulled you in a hug and you wrapped your arms around his waist, crying your frustrations out. After a few minutes, you pulled away.

“Can you keep me company?” You ask him softly, almost mumbling and Minho does nothing but nod. You felt Minho gently dragging you somewhere, holding your hand tightly but still, you could feel the gentleness that he holds. Soon, you see that Minho has brought you to the rooftop. Minho places you in front of him and he could only watch you as you softly sob, wiping your tears with the back of your hands like a little girl.

Minho pulls your hands off your face and the tears still kept on streaming. You looked up at Minho with your red puffy eyes and he only sighs, feeling his heart shake as if it was going to shatter anytime soon at the sight. Minho wraps your arms around his waist and you comply, holding onto him as if your life depended on it—as if Minho was the only one who can hold you into pieces as you break. And at the looks of it, Minho really is the only one who can save you.

Minho cups your cheeks gently, thumbs wiping your cheeks but the tears still continued on streaming down your face. The sun was setting, the orange glow hit your face. You were so beautiful in Minho’s eyes even if you’re so broken as of now. Minho chuckles shakily, feeling his heart grow heavier as time pass by. “Hey,” he mumbles as he wipes your tears off. “Stop crying now, you look so ugly, I don’t even know who you are anymore.” Minho teases lightly, trying to lighten up the mood but you don’t stop. You only closed your eyes, shaking your head as a way to get your tears to stop. Then, you softly chuckle through the tears, lips pressing into a think line as you breathe in shakily.

Minho tilts your head, eyes closing as he places a soft delicate kiss on your eyelid. He doesn’t pull away, staying at that position for as long he feels he needs to. It was just a soft kiss, but it meant everything to you. It was Minho’s way of silently saying that he will always be with you, through your sunny, cloudy and stormy days. Always.

five. – kiss on the forehead

“Minho!” You excitedly call as you see him ahead of the hallway. The said boy turns to you, a smile coming up to his face as he sees you. You run to him, tackling him in a hug. Minho stumbles a bit backwards, but he still wraps his arms around your waist.

“Y/N, we’ve seen each other an hour ago. Did you really miss me that much?” Minho says in a teasing manner and you lightly slap his chest. You pull away, holding him at arm length.

“Minho.” You say with so much enthusiast making Minho’s heart skip a beat at how cute you are.

“Y/N.” Minho mimics and you giggle.

“Guess what?” You asked and Minho looks up, an eyebrow raised with a small smile on his lips as if he was thinking.

“Um, you’re exempted for exams?” Minho asks and you scoffed, but the smile never left your lips.

“I wish!” You said and shook you head. "I got offered for an internship for a month to work in their studio.” You said excitingly and Minho’s eyes widen. Then, slowly, a smile comes up in Minho’s face.

“Really?” Minho asks and you nod. “Where?”

“JYPE.” You said and Minho lets out a breathy laugh, grabbing your arms as he pulled you in his chest. He hugs you tightly to the point you couldn’t even hug back anymore. “Minho.. can’t.. breathe.” Minho pulls away, cupping your cheeks as he smiles widely.

“See, I told you! Something great was along the way.” Minho says and you smile, wrapping your arms around his waist. You sigh jokingly, followed by rolling your eyes.

“Okay, fine. You’re always right.” You said and Minho giggles, tilting your head lightly to kiss your forehead. A short kiss, but it felt like it was everything. Minho was the first to know, you just have this inkling feeling that Minho should be the first to know since he was always there for you. Minho suddenly turned from being the guy you’re embarrassed to face to the one you trusted the most. “Thank you for always being there, Min.”

“Always.”

six. – kiss on the temple

You frown as you seated yourself on the usual table you and Minho would sit. You’re stubborn, everyone knows that. But you may kind of know and finally admitted to yourself that the fight between you and Minho had was actually your fault. Okay, but in your defense you were shit tired, stressed and close to having a breakdown… which is why Minho gently asked you to take a break and rest for a bit, which caused you to pick a fight with him and shout at him for being annoying when he was just being nice enough to look after you.

You sighed, placing your hands on your hair as you ruffled your hair. You look at the table, pouting as you finally admitted that it’s your fault and maybe you should reach out first… not the other way around. You were stubborn.

But what you didn’t know was Minho was trying to reach out as well, but he kept convincing himself that it was your fault and you should be first. But then again, it was not you, it was the stress and sleep deprivation that yelled at him. But no, you should be the first.

You stood up from your seat, going to the locker hall, knowing Minho was there at this time to fix his things to get ready for his next lesson. When you arrived, you immediately spotted Minho’s head and walked your way to him. But you were quickly pulled back when you reached midway. You looked at the culprit who pulled you to see the guy in your batch, Myung. You sighed heavily, “What, Myung? I have to go.” You gritted, letting him know that you were annoyed as of the very moment, but he only smirked. He was honestly a jerk; he once confessed to you that he likes you by telling you to be his girlfriend, but of course, you don’t accept. He thought he was being cool, but no, never.

“We never talk anymore, darling.” He said with a cocky smile.

“I’m busy.” You said as you tried to pull away, but his grip tightened. “Myung, what the hell?” You said as you tried to pull away. You always knew how to stand up for yourself and this is not going to be an exception.

“Come on, Y/N. One date.” He says and you glare at him, eyes full of hatred for him.

“No.” You firmly said.

“Come on, just one date. That’s all I ask for.”

“Ask?” You scoffed. “More like force.”

“You don’t want—“

“She said no, didn’t she?” Minho’s voice boomed through the hall and it was when you realized everyone’s eyes were on you and Myung. Minho came forward, grabbing Myung’s wrist to pull his grip off of you, swatting it away. Minho grabbed your wrist, pulling you behind him. Minho’s thumb massaged your wrist as he glared at Myung. Minho’s touch was the opposite of Myung. Minho was much gentle like I always say. Even when he clutches his hand into yours, there’s still a drop of gentleness that let’s you know the person who’s holding you is Lee Minho.

“Why do you care? It’s not like she’s your girlfriend.” Myung spatted.

“And that’s none of your business. Learn how to respect women, you sick bastard.” Minho spats and your free hand shoots out to grab his other hand, signaling him to calm down. You felt it, Minho is about to jump and throw a fist, but when he felt you hold him, he visibly relaxes, calming his nerves down for you. “Never come near her.”

Minho leaves, pulling you with him as he brought you far from there, to a corner where not everyone could see. Minho frowns, anger fading as he looked at you. What would he do if he wasn’t there? Big luck, he was. “Are you okay? Did he do anything? Did he hurt you?” Minho asks and you shook your head, pulling him in an embrace, arms around his shoulders. Minho sighs, wrapping his own arms around your waist.

“I’m sorry.” You said. “I shouldn’t have shouted at you and be a bitch. It will never happen again, I promise.”

Minho tightens his hold on you, letting you know that he has forgiven you. He turns his head to the side, lips reaching for your temple as he kisses you. “It’s okay.” Minho mumbles, pulling away as his hands place themselves on your shoulders, holding you at arm-length. “You sure he didn’t do anything?”

“I promise, Minho.” You said. “Besides, he knows better than have the whole university watch him be the sick bastard that he is.” Minho sighs, nodding as he places a kiss on your temple once again. “I missed you.”

You did. You really did. Minho was the only one who could get you through your darkest days. He promised you, even on the sunny days. But it was proven that your true darkest days were the days that Minho isn’t beside you. And you’re never gonna let that happen again even if it was just a fight.

“I missed you, too.” Minho breathed, embracing you as he attaches his lips against your temple.

seven. – random kisses out of nowhere

“Y/N? I’m outside of the room, come out.” Jisung says the moment you picked the call up. You were feeling really happy about this particular day. So, with a big smile on your face you walked to the window of the room, sliding it open and popping your head out, not following Jisung’s instruction. You looked at the side to see Jisung with Hyunjin, in front of the classroom next to yours. Wow. In front of your room, huh. But you didn’t roll your eyes as you feel really giddy about today. Jisung and Hyunjin see you and you waved at them enthusiastically, your phone still pressed against your ear. Then, a figure on your peripheral vision catches your attention. He always caught your attention.

Not waiting for Jisung and Hyunjin to wave back, you turned to the boy that caught your attention and smiled at him widely as he comes nearer and nearer.

“Hi!” You enthusiastically say and Minho giggles. Minho was walking with Chan to wherever. Minho smiles, coming towards you as he places a kiss on your nose. You scrunched your nose and Minho chuckles.

“I’ll see you at lunch, text me.” Minho says as he continues walking and you nod. You watch Minho’s back as he and Chan reaches the end, turning a corner to go downstairs. Fuck, you’re falling deeper and deeper for him everyday. You just hope the kisses he gives mean something just as much as they mean to you.

“Someone’s in love.” Jisung says in a sing-song matter and you realized you stil have your phone pressed against your ear. “I’ll see you at lunch, text me. Are you two dating already?” Hyunjin’s voice come in and you sigh, turning your gaze to them.

“Fuck you both.” You pouted and they laugh. You hang up the calling, going out of the room to go to your friends.

Everyone could see how hung up you are, Y/N.

You held your hand on the open, feeling the raindrops hit your palm. You look up at the sky, pouting. Out of all the time it could rain, why did it have to be right now when you don’t have your umbrella with you? You just wanted to have your carton of banana milk since you were craving for it. You held the banana milk with both hands, tucking it under chin as you watched the rain fall, waiting for it to stop. It was nearing midterms; you can’t afford to be sick.

All hope came back when you saw Minho across the road, in the building of your dorm as he opens an umbrella. He comes out in the open, an umbrella protecting him from the rain as he made his way to you. When he reaches you, you look at him and he stares back at you until he breaks into a fit of giggles. “You’re so lucky I saw you from there.” Minho said, pointing at the second floor of the building. “You should’ve texted me or something.”

“I didn’t bring my phone.” You said and Minho chuckles. “Plus, you didn’t have to.”

“You really think I would let you just watch the sky, wait for the rain to stop?” Minho asks. “You look like you were glaring at the sky, telling the rain to stop.” You look so fucking cute. Minho wanted to add, but decided against it.

You huffed and Minho giggles, leaning forward to kiss the side of your head. “Come on.” Minho says as he wraps an arm around you, holding the umbrella in between the two of you. By instinct, you wrap one arm behind his waist.

Wrong. He shouldn’t have wrapped an arm around you, he should’ve just transferred the umbrella to the other hand. Due to this position, Minho wants to just kiss your head and never pull away. You don’t feel his heartbeat, do you?

When you both reached the building, you pulled away from Minho and faced him as he closes the umbrella after shaking some raindrops off of it. “Thanks, Minho.” You said with a pout, handing your banana milk out. “Here, have it.”

Minho chuckles, pushing it back to you. “It’s fine, Y/N. You’d the same for me, anyway.” Minho says and you nod, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. You pull away, a big grin on your face.

“You know I would.”

eight. – kiss on the knuckles

Minho had a showcase and of course, you were there to watch to support him. You expected him to be the best as always. You expected him to give out his all. What you didn’t expect was for Minho to fall on the ground in the middle of his number. You were quick on your feet, the curtains closed and you immediately ran to the stage. Turns out, he was too exhausted from rehearsals. It’s been a week since it happened and some people just can’t let go of what happened. But Minho ignored them but you never knew about it.

You were in your locker getting the things that are needed when you hear a girl beside your locker. “Yeah?” She said with an annoying giggle. “I heard that Lee Minho guy purposely fell on stage to get attention, so everyone would pity him. Apparently, he works hard enough like up until midnight yet he never gets the recognition he ‘deserves’.”

You slam your locker door harshly and you saw the girl flinch in your peripheral vision. You turned to her, shoulder leaning against your locker and smile at her with fakeness. “What an interesting theory,” You said. “But I’m sorry to tell you that Minho would never do something like that for what is so called attention. You don’t know Minho so I suggest you stop the bullshit that you’re spreading about him before you regret it.”

She scoffs. “What are you, Y/N? Minho’s little friend? Minho’s just using you for attention. You have connections, after all.” She says.

“He’s not the type to use someone for his own interest.” You said. “Don’t judge the person because you are nowhere near as good as he is.”

“How sure are you?” She says, her eyebrows raised.

You simply stood straightly, crossing your arms across your chest. “Simple, he’s not you.” You say and the girl slaps you across the face. Let’s just say you had a pretty intense fight leaving you with a scratch on your arm because of her long sharp nails, a bruise on the side of your stomach and pretty much bruised knuckles. Her state was way worse than yours.

You were in your locker, fixing your things gently as your hand hurts. You were putting things inside your bag when someone grabbed your arm and turns you around. You hiss, the pain stinging as the person grab you where the girl scratched you. “Shit, that hurts.” You say and the hand pulls back. You look up, seeing Minho with a worried expression. He looks at you then to the arm where he grabbed you. He grabs your bag from you, putting it on the ground and pulling your denim jacket off. He sees the large 3 lines of scratches. You covered it up, pulling your jacket back and turning around to your locker.

“What the hell got into you, Y/N? You were never the type to hurt someone.” Minho asks and you shrugged.

“She hit me first, I just gave her what she wanted.” You dryly said and you heard Minho sigh.

Minho’s shoulder slumped and grabbed you gently on your uninjured arm. He turns you around and you avoid his eyes. “What did truly happen, Y/N?” Minho asks. “All I know is you got into a fist fight and since you’re not the type to hurt someone, you must have a reason.” Minho says and you still avoided his eyes, looking at the ground.

“That’s it. She hit me first and I just gave her what she wanted.” You repeated and Minho sighs, taking your hands but you pulled the other that hurts. Minho sighs, looking at it. He grabs your bag, closing your locker and gently pulling you with him. “Come on, let’s go to your dorm.”

On the way to your dorm, you were silent the whole time, Minho worrying. When you both arrived at your dorm, you immediately went to your bed while Minho went to where you keep your first aid kit. Minho lightly tugged on your jacket and you removed it, letting him mend the scratch on your arm. “Still waiting for the real reason,” Minho says as he puts some ointment on your scratch. When he’s done, he takes your bruised knuckles and cleans them. “Come on, Y/N. Why did you? You know you can trust me.” Minho says and you still ignored him. Minho sighs, wrapping your hand with a bandage. “Other injuries?” Minho asks.

“I’ll clean it.” You mumble, taking the cloth from Minho’s hand, but he pulls away.

“Not until you say why you did it.” Minho says and you sigh, standing up. You kept silent, trying to take the cloth from him but he wouldn’t budge. “Come on, Y/N, just tell me why.” Minho says and wraps his arms around your waist. You hiss, unwrapping Minho’s arms from you. Minho frowns, lifting your shirt up lightly to show the bruise. He cleans it and your one hand finds its way on Minho’s hair, brushing it up. Then trails down to his cheek. Minho snuggles his face with your hand and you looked at him with pure sadness. “Come on, Y/N, why?” How could someone think so lowly of him? All he ever did was try to make everyone happy around him.

“I don’t wanna talk about it, Minho.” You mumble as you pull away and go around your dorm, looking for things to find. You settled on your small bookshelf, pretending to look for a book.

“Lies. You just don’t want me to know why it happened.” Minho said and he stands up to walk over to you. “C’mon, Y/N, why?” Minho says as he stays behind you. “What happened? I refuse to believe that you violently ruined her face just because she hit you first.” Minho says and you sigh. “I’m going to bother you all day, Y/N. You know how I am.”

“Fine! She was talking shit about you and I confronted her about it, saying something stupid and then she slapped me then I beat the hell out of her.” You say as you turned to Minho. “Happy now that you know?”

Minho’s face fell and you sigh. “What did she say? What exactly happened?” Minho asks.

“I was fixing my locker and our lockers were right beside each other’s. I heard her talking shit about you—“

“What exactly is the shit?” Minho cuts you off.

You bit your lip and sigh. “You purposely fell on stage to let everyone know how hardworking you are but never got the recognition you deserve.” You said and Minho looks down. “I told her that you’re not that kind of person, she said that you’re just using me because I have connections and then I said you’re not and when she asked how sure am I, I said because you’re not her.” Minho’s gaze went to you and you sighed. “I’m sorry, I went all over the place when she said that.”

“But it isn’t really true, right?” Minho says. “People only get mad when they are being confronted of what is true and they don’t really like admitting it.”

“Minho,” you say. “I can’t handle it when someone talks shit about you. You don’t deserve it, they’re just jealous of you.”

Minho gently grabs your hands and smiles at you. “Thank you, Y/N. But getting into trouble wasn’t really necessary.” He says and you nod. “Next time, okay? Ignore them, their ugly faces don’t deserve your pretty knuckles.”

You laugh and Minho lifts the injured fist, bringing it up to his lips to press a kiss to it.

nine. – confession kiss

“Why are we here?” You softly asked as Minho brought you at the rooftop—where Minho had silently promised you that he will always be there for you. Minho only smiled at you, but you could see the nervousness in him. Then, you suddenly chuckled. “Did you know the first time I went here was when you brought me here?”

Minho’s head was quick to snap towards your way as if sirens grew in his head. “Really?” He asks and you nod. You look down, palms on your jeans wiping the non-existent sweat against the denim cloth. You just suddenly felt nervous. Why did Minho even bring you here?

“So, why did you bring me here?” You asked, looking up at Minho who was staring at you with such admiration in his eyes. And that was honestly your favorite part in him; his eyes. The galaxies in his eyes that you always wanted to get lost in—that you’re willing to get lost in. You just want to dive into full of Lee Minho, honestly. Everyone could notice that everytime he would look at you his eyes would shine a little bit more than they usually do. But you don’t know that.

And maybe, it’s time for Minho to let you know that.

“This could be really cheesy and corny,” Minho says and you raise an eyebrow at him. “Remember when we bump into each other and we accidentally kissed?”

You laughed. Minho’s heart flipped.

You covered your mouth with a hand as you remembered how it exactly happened. This was the first time it was brought up. For being friends for almost a year and you two never talked about it. “Of course! I couldn’t face you until Mrs. Kim partnered us up.” You said and Minho could see how your eyes lit up almost brighter than the sun. Minho giggled himself, easing his nerves lightly. “But anyway, go on.”

Minho smiled as you urged him, taking your hands in his. “We’ll be friends no matter what, right?” Minho asks, worry dawning his face as scenarios of you rejecting him flashed in his mind. Minho shook your hands lightly as a way to cover up his worried state. If only Minho knew how hung up you are to him.

You frowned. “Minho, we’re best friends, I could never leave you. I can’t even function properly without you even if for just a moment.” You said as you squeezed his hands to ease him. Minho’s eyes trail down on your hands and he breathes in.

“Promise?” Minho asks and you nod.

“Promise.” You said. “Come on, this us. What wrong could happen?”

Minho nods, looking into your eyes and you smile at him. “This could be very sudden to you,” Minho starts and you listen intently as he starts. You could literally see how nervous he was, so you squeezed his hands to encourage him. “Um, I like you, Y/N.”

You felt heart skip a beat. Minho? He likes you? The guy you accidentally kissed almost a year ago.

You felt Minho’s grip tighten, but still, ever gently. “I’m not pressuring you into liking me, I just.. want you to know that I like you a lot, but if you give me a shot, it would be very nice—you won’t regret it, I promise. But again, I’m not pressuring you.” Minho blurted out.

The speech that Minho prepared for a week, it was now forgotten. All he wants to do is for you to know how much he likes you. And he likes you a lot. He’s been kissing you for almost a whole year, but he wants to do it because you’re dating—not simply because he’s friends with you, because honestly, friends don’t do that. Whenever you kiss your other friends, like take Hyunjin as an example, you only bump cheeks with him, but with Minho? It feels natural kissing him. What more if you can kiss him on the lips once again, but this time not accidentally.

“Y/N?” Minho snaps you out of your thoughts as he called you. He was nervous, very nervous and you could see it right through him.

“Y-You do?” You stutter.

“Did I make you uncomfortable?” Minho asks, chewing on his lower lip as he looks at you.

“No,” you said, then you smiled. “Because it would be a real shame if this is just a prank considering I like you, too.”

Minho’s jaw drops and you giggle at his reaction. “W-What?” Minho says with a wide smile, a chuckle escaping his lips. Minho felt as if he’s in cloud 9, he felt so happy. You like him, too! It was as if he hit jackpot. “You like me, too.” Minho breathed out and you laughed, pulling your hands off and wrapping your arms around his torso.

“I do, Minho. Like, a whole lot.” You said as you rested your nose on his shoulder. Minho smiles widely, cheeks hurting but he could care less, you like him. Minho wraps his arms around you, his jaw resting on the side of your head. “I thought I was being obvious! I like you way before our encounter.”

“Oh?” Minho lightly pulls away, smirking at you as he teases you. Minho giggled, kissing your forehead. Then, he moves his hands, cupping your cheeks as he looks down at you. Minho’s gaze was on your eyes, momentarily looking on your lips. And so were your eyes, it kept trailing back on his lips, remembering how soft it was when you accidentally did. Minho could probably feel how excited you are to finally feels those soft gentle lips against yours.

Simply because it was what he was thinking of, as well.

“Can I kiss you?” Minho asks you and you nod, looking into his eyes, feeling yourself get lost into those galaxies that he has like you always would. Minho leans closer, eyes trailing back and forth into your eyes and lips. You close your eyes, Minho sighing as he took in your beauty.

But Lee Minho is a big tease.

When his breath finally mingled with yours, Minho smiled, kissing the corner of your mouth. He pulls away, hands sliding down to your arms as you opened your eyes. “What?” You asked, pouting.

“I never said I’ll kiss you on the lips.” Minho says and your jaw drops. Unbelievable. But still, you found yourself laughing. Minho kisses your nose. “Let’s go on a date.”

“You’re such a big tease, Lee Minho!”

“Honey, am I even Lee Minho if I wasn’t a big tease?”

“You looked like you were gonna shit your pants when you were confessing to me, Lee Minho.”

“It just means that Lee Minho is so whipped for you, Y/L/N Y/N.”

ten. – “i love you.”

Minho knocks on your door on a Saturday morning. He was still in his pajamas, but he wanted to spend as much time with you since you’re both seniors in college already, meaning more work has been loaded. This is honestly the first time Minho will be seeing you in this week. Minho hasn’t even had a bath yet, he only brushed his teeth and get his wallet, keys and phone and now, he’s here. Minho figured you were still sleeping so he fumbled with his keys, looking for yours since you both exchanged spare keys of your dorms (Luckily, you two didn’t have a roommate, why not just move together?). He slides the key into the hole of the doorknob, unlocking it as he pushed the door open. He closed the door behind him when he stepped inside and a big smile graces his lips as he sees you in the bathroom, brushing your teeth with your eyes closed. You were drawing circles around your teeth with your toothbrush in a very slow motion. Your hair pulled up in a messy bun, still in your pajamas just like Minho and in his big white shirt.

Minho makes his way to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and you jump lightly, opening your eyes. Minho rests his chin on your shoulder as he looks at the two of you through the mirror in front of you. You leant your head against his, free hand running back and forth on his forearm. Minho smiles, kissing your cheek and you giggle, patting Minho’s cheek with your hand. You really are such a perfect fit for each other. You finished brushing your teeth, cleaning your mouth and brush. You put it away neatly and turned around to face Minho with a wide smile, but Minho could see that you’re still sleepy. It made you a lot cuter in his opinion.

“Minho,” you softly said and he hums with a smile. “I just brushed my teeth, can I get the kiss now?” Minho laughs and you pouted, but a giggle escapes your lips as you looked at how happy Minho is. You were delighted to know that you’re the one who makes Minho happy.

“Fine.” Minho says and your eyes light up. Is this it? You’re finally getting the kiss on the lips?

You were excited, but you were proven wrong when Minho leans in to kiss the same spot he kissed 3 months ago when he confessed to you. Everyday you would try to pry Minho in giving you a kiss on your lips, but he would always just kiss the corner of your mouth, saying that he wants your actual first kiss together to be really meaningful. But when?

“Just the teaser, though.” Minho says with a wink and you pouted, whining. Minho kisses your nose, smiling as he grabs your hand to pull you out of the bathroom. “C’mon, let’s go have coffee.” You smiled as he pulls you with him. You’ve never felt so happy in your life. Your chest was so full of Minho that you feel like you’re going to burst any minute now. You know it in yourself, this is getting deeper and deeper, but you’re willing to fall deeper into Lee Minho. After all, he’s all you wanted from the very start.

Minho started to make your coffee, knowing you’re still sleepy to do that. You were just so thankful Minho is there. It’s been a year and not once did Minho break his promise on being there by your side at your happiest, neutral and saddest days, even when fights occur, he’s still there. You sigh, wrapping your arms around his waist, head resting on his back. You feel Minho give your hand a pat or two. “Still sleepy, bub?” Minho asks and you nodded. You tiptoed, placing a kiss on Minho’s shoulder. Even if Minho was small, he still managed to be a lot taller than you are. Minho turns around, wrapping his arms around your waist as he lifted you. You wrap your arms around his shoulders before wrapping your legs around his waist. Minho carried you like a teddy bear and went over to your bed, laying down with you above him. You giggle and Minho smiles, arms tightening around you as if he was scared that you’re going to leave him. I doubt you would. “We’re tired college kids,” Minho mumbles. “Let’s sleep some more.”

You hid your face in Minho’s neck, closing your eyes. You peck his neck the same time you felt a peck on your ear. You sigh in content, snuggling further into Minho as you were impossibly closer with Minho than before. Sleeps with Minho is the safest you feel. Actually, being around Minho is the safest that you feel. Minho’s presence would always be enough for you. You were just so happy with Minho. All the stress, the tiredness? Just a Minho in front of you and you’re okay.

Clock strikes 1 and you flutter your eyes open, feeling satisfied on your sleep. Minho’s hand plays with your hair as the other was on your arm, rubbing it in a soothing manner. You sighed, kissing his jaw as lifted yourself off of him and sitting up. Minho whines, latching hand around your wrist to pull you back. “We have to have lunch, baby.” You said with a smile.

“I already ordered takeout, it’s gonna be here in 15 minutes.” Minho says with a smile. Sigh, seriously, what were you gonna do without Minho?

And just like Minho said, the takeout arrived after 15 minutes and you both ate while talking about what’s currently happening in college. Everytime Minho laughs, you would feel a tug on your heartstrings. You can never get enough of Lee Minho.

After eating, you both disposed your trash and cleaned up a bit. 3 pm and you both settled in your bed again, putting your laptop in front of the two of you as you play a random movie. You both sat on your bed, legs tangled together with your arms wrapped around his waist. His one arm behind your shoulders, hand playing with your hair and the other on your forearm, running back and forth, backs leant against your bedhead.

You tugged on his shirt, a smile coming up to your face. Minho looks down to you as he continued playing with your hair. “Remember how you got your book back from Hyunjin? The same day we were embarrassingly partnered up for Romeo and Juliet? Hyunjin was so confused—“

A smile comes up in Minho’s face, how far have you both come? From accidentally kissing each other to a project that requires a kiss on the hand to random kisses that eventually built up the relationship between the two of you. Minho was happy. It was kind of messy, but hey, it’s you and him. Who would’ve thought from not having any chance to talk to each other led to something that Minho has grown attached to? Certainly not Minho.

Minho could still remember how fast his heart kept on beating when he kissed your palm in Mrs. Kim’s class. He could still remember how he realized he likes you. He could still remember how happy he was when you told him you like him back. He still remembers everything. How could he not when his heart feels so heavy but light at the same time with so much love for you? He wanted to be the one to make you happy just like the way that you make him happy.

“And then Jisung suddenly kept asking me why—“

“I love you, Y/N.” Minho blurts out. His eyes don’t go wide; he doesn’t get surprised at how he suddenly blurted it out. He knew he was going to confess to you once more and it seems like it’s right now. He doesn’t even have the slightest nerve that tugs on his stomach that makes him worried that you would reject him.

You cut your story off, looking at Minho. There it was again, the galaxies in eyes. But this time, it shone brighter than they usually would. Minho looks at you with pure admiration and you realized how you both maintained such a happy and healthy relationship. You love Minho just as much as he loves you and you both never failed to show that to each other.

No words, just action for a response.

You pressed your lips against his, closing your eyes and Minho immediately responds into the kiss, not wasting anymore time as he pulls you impossibly closer. Now, you understood when Minho said he was looking for the right timing, wanting your first real kiss to be as meaningful as it is. And this was just perfect.

“I love you, too.”

the power of: going through it. rawr see you in my next fic, i hope you like it! uwu

[taehyungs-perm]

strawberry girl pt 1

taehyung x reader; college au; childhood best friends to lovers au; jock!fratboy taehyung

genre: fluff; major angst lol

word count: 8k

summary: i can pretend i don’t miss you. i can pretend i don’t care. all i want to do is kiss you. what a shame you’re not here.  

Part 2 here ; part 3 here; part 4 here; part 5

playlist vibes

better | khalid

electric love | børns

saturday nights | khalid

the less i know the better | tame impala 

summertime sadness | lana del ray

“Hana, what the fuck are you doing?” You said to your roommate. You just had walked into your room and saw there was an enormous mountain of clothing blocking the entrance of the room door. Clutching the box containing your freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, you carefully maneuvered your way to your bed. You stared at your roommate as she stood in front of her mirror. It had been a long day and you just wanted to eat the cookies you made while watching a social justice documentary, your go to form of stress relief. She turned to you, revealing her exasperated face “Okay I studied literally all day today and basically ignored Jungkook and his billion texts because I was trying to focus and now he’s mad at me so I’m going over to his dorm to hang out. And I’m trying to figure out what to wear! Like should I wear a skirt or sweatpants or...?” She put the pink skirt she was holding up to her body down and picked up a comb from her desk. You bit into a cookie and stared at her trying to tame her curly black hair with a brush, “Aren’t you and jungkook just hooking up? Why are you going to comfort him if you aren’t in a relationship?” Hana immediately became defensive, crossing her arms over her chest “We are friends too okay! I can go and comfort him as friends ______.” You rolled your eyes and said sarcastically, “Sure Hana because that’s what friends do. Go over to each other’s rooms at midnight to ‘comfort’ each other” Waving the silver comb in her hand at you, Hana exclaimed, “Shut up! Support me and my stupid choices. I support your choice of being a prude” “Hey! I’m not a prude....” you said trailing off suddenly regretting calling out Hana on her behavior. “Yea ______ you’ve never even kissed a boy.” You gave your prepared answer about your lack of romantic life that you’ve been telling people since junior year of highschool “It’s cause I’m trying to focus on school and not get involved with anyone.” “Keep telling yourself that excuse. It’s perfectly normal to manage other things other than school work”, Hana said as she shoved her huge pile of clothing that was lying on the ground into her closet. You shut your biology book that was in front of you and stated, “Okay fine how about the excuse that all men are trash?” “I honestly believe that one 1000 times more” she held up a black skater skirt to herself and said “I’m just going to go with this” Hana quickly changed, grabbed her purse, and said “bye! I’ll see you...later?” You laughed and called after her “I’ll see you tomorrow. Make smart choices!”

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You woke up early to revise before your biology class at 9:30. After going through the Krebs cycle one last time, you quickly rushed to get ready pulling on a pair of loose jeans and a sweater. You slipped on your sneakers and rushed out the door making it just in time to be ten minutes early for biology class. You were clutching your notes mumbling through the processes “pyruvate becomes acetyl coenzyme A then...” Today is going to be a long day, you realized that there was so much more cellular respiration you still needed to learn. Should I bake brownies tonight or should I finish watching 13th? You were so absorbed in your notes and thoughts that you barely noticed someone calling your name. You looked up confused. You didn’t have too many friends on campus so you weren’t sure who could be calling your name. Then you noticed him. Fuck You felt your heart skip a beat why does this still happen even two years later? “______!” He came up to you smiling and waving. “Hey Taehyung “ you mumbled, annoyed that he was coming over to say hello. He looked so good, as always. He was wearing slacks with a sweater with a brown messenger bag to his side. He recently got his black hair permed and it looked so good. You wanted to rake your hands through his hair and feel the soft curls. You shook your head, no you're over him. You don’t like Kim Taehyung anymore “How’s it going? I haven’t seen you in awhile” He said with his huge boxy smile, adjusting his bag strap. You and Taehyung occasionally run into each other between classes and such but you guys never hung out. After what had happened in highschool, you realized you and Taehyung were in two different social groups and were destined to just be friends. He was a soccer player in a frat who wanted to have fun and you were a pre-med student focused on getting good grades so there really wasn’t much intersection in your two lives. “Um good ya know just heading to biology class.” You chuckled nervously, are you always this awkward or is it just Taehyung making you feel on edge? “Ah yes. Classic ______ always studying” “Yea well school is important. So um...” you were racking your brain trying to say something despite your mind going absolutely blank the second you saw his flawlessly sculpted face, “.....how is soccer going?” His eyes lit up, “It’s good! I’m training a lot so that takes up a lot of time. But everyone on the team is really nice, so it’s good.” “I’m glad.” You glanced at your phone desperate to get out of the terribly awkward conversation “Well I have to go class, but it was nice seeing you” you started to walk off in the direction of your class but Taehyung pulled you back towards him “Wait ______” “What?” You said an annoyed tone. You needed to get to class and Taehyung was just bothering you with small talk. He looked almost nervous. He gave a small smile and said “I was wondering if you wanted to do something this weekend.” You glanced around yourself just to make sure Taehyung was talking to you. “You want to do something with me? This weekend?” You asked, astonished. He glanced at the ground and then back at you. You noticed he was still holding your arm and he quickly dropped it. “Yea I want to hang out with you. Is that okay?” He said shoving his hands into his pockets. “Um yea. I guess. Just text me later” you said in a rushed tone, then trudged off to your class. Wow that was fucking weird. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Tae: hey! so are you free this saturday to do something?

Fuck I can’t believe he actually texted me. It had been 2 years since you’ve hung out with him. Why was he texting you now asking to spend time? You contemplated just saying no so you didn’t have to deal with Taehyung but you figured it might be more efficient to just hang out with him once so he could leave you alone.

You: yep that works. what do you have in mind? Tae: do you want to go into town? You: yea that sounds good. Tae: great i'll pick you up at 2 🍓 girl :)

You internally vomited at the nickname. You didn’t want to hang out with Taehyung. You were perfectly fine being friends/borderline acquaintances with Taehyung. You threw your phone on your bed and groaned loudly. At that moment your roommate entered the room and said “Wow hello to you too.” “I hate my life,” you exclaimed dramatically as you shoved your face into your fluffy white pillow. “That’s a mood. But what happened?” she said laughing and sitting on her bed across from you. “Uh so like, have I mentioned I’m kinda friends with Taehyung?” You said peeking out of your pillow. Hana squealed “Shut up! You’re friends with the Kim Taehyung?” “Uh kinda. We grew up together and like we were best friends but then like we drifted apart. We are just okay friends now,” You said as nonchalantly as you could. Hana stretched out onto her bed and turned her head to you “Wow you never told me that. I can’t believe you knew Kim Taehyung” You pulled the pillow under your arms so you could lay on it “Yea so I ran into him today and he asked to hangout this weekend and he just texted me to confirm plans and I feel like throwing up.” Hana raised her eyebrow “What? Why? This is great news. I’m with Jungkook and now you can be with Taehyung! It’s perfect omg” You threw your fluffy pillow at Hana, hoping it would knock some sense into her, “First of all you are hooking up Jungkook. He’s not your boyfriend. Second of all, I’m not ever going to date Kim Taehyung.” She caught the pillow before it could hit her face, “Eww. As if I would ever date Jungkook” she laughed and tossed the pillow back to you, “But that’s honestly a smart move. Taehyung has got a lot of baggage.” You looked up at your roommate confused, “What are you talking about?” “Uh Taehyung is kinda the biggest fuckboi on campus. We’ve only been freshmen for like 4 months and he’s fucked almost like half of campus. Your jaw dropped. You didn’t know Taehyung was a fuckboi. Granted you really didn’t know anything that wasn’t school related but like Taehyung? Your Taehyung? The one with the innocent doe eyes and giggly smile? “No fucking way. You’re lying” “Honey, Jungkook is his best friend. I know.” You stared at your pillow. Well Taehyung was a really handsome guy. What else could you expect? You luckily didn’t feel heart broken Not that your heart could be broken any further.  “Well good for him. I guess. As long as he isn’t being an asshole and manipulating girls and their feelings just so he can fuck them.” “You can ask him this weekend on your dateee” Hana said teasingly. “It’s definitely not a date. I’m sure he just wants something” you said rolling your eyes as you got up and grabbed your baking basket. “Where are you going?” Hana questioned. “I need to make some strawberry cupcakes” you stated as you grabbed some strawberries from your fridge. Strawberry desserts were your comfort food. “Damn this thing with Taehyung has you real pressed” she said laughing. “You have no idea,” you mumbled underneath your breath as you left your room. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was 1:27 in the afternoon and you had already stress ate 4 strawberry cupcakes since last night. You didn’t know what “I’ll pick you up at 2” meant. Did it mean he was going to wait outside your dorm building? Did it mean he was coming to your room? Did he even know your room number? You were going to grab another cupcake when you realized you should probably change out of your pajamas. 

You took a look in the mirror and you sighed. You unconsciously adjusted the gold necklace that you wore everyday and scanned your outfit: light blue jeans and a black baggy shirt. Why do I even care what I’m wearing? It’s not like it’s anyone special, it's just Taehyung. But the voice at the back of your head kept nagging the hard to swallow truth that you in fact do care. Your thoughts were interrupted by a loud ding from your phone. 

Tae: I’m outside your dorm! You: ok coming out 

You grabbed your coat and were about to leave your room before a thought popped in your head. You walked outside and found Taehyung standing by the entrance of your dorm building, scrolling on his phone. Taehyung was wearing a simple black shirt tucked into black jeans with a long gray coat. With his beautiful curly hair and black sunglasses, he looked like a movie star. You wanted to sprint back inside your dorm and hide because you truly did not want to be seen in public with him. He looked up from his phone and gave a genuine smile “Hey!” “Hey Taehyung.” You stood awkwardly distanced from him. “Um I was kinda stressed last night and I ended up baking cupcakes. I knew you used to love my strawberry desserts so I brought one for you” you handed a cupcake wrapped in a napkin to him. “Are you being for real? You made me a strawberry cupcake? Oh my gosh, you’re the best” he pulled you into a giant hug. Not really liking physical affection, you pushed against his chest to try to pull away. He let go of you and grinned broadly “This made my day. I’m so happy now” “Are you ever not?” You mumbled so he couldn’t hear. The local town was only about a 10 minute walk so you were hoping this whole outing with Taehyung would only last an hour or so. “So why were you stressed?” Taehyung said unwrapping his cupcake. You couldn’t tell him that he was causing your stress because to be honest, you didn’t even know why his sudden presence in your life was causing you this much anxiety. “Oh just school stuff.” You always gave superficial answers to those types of questions. Your automatic assumption is that people don’t really care about what you’re going through; they’re just asking out of courtesy. He gave you a suspicious look as if he didn’t believe you but he didn’t press further. You and Taehyung quietly chatted about school, classes and soccer until you reached the quaint local town. Taehyung was talking about his frat and how they were having a themed party in anticipation for their huge game. You were half paying attention to what he was saying when you saw a table covered in books in front of one of the shops. You immediately stopped and glanced at all the books on the table. You used to read a lot before school became a priority in your life, then you picked up baking as your stress reliever. But with this cute little bookstore right in front of you, you started to recall all the fond memories you had as a child and you couldn’t resist. “Let’s go in here,” you said, smiling at Taehyung. He looked at you really weirdly for a second, like he was shocked or something. “Or not,” you said, mumbling, starting to walk away from the store. “No no let’s go in. Sorry if I looked kinda surprised. It’s just” he scratched the back of his head and gave a small laugh “Every time we’ve talked you never smile. And you just did. And it was super cute” a small blushed bloomed his cheeks. He quickly added “I definitely want to go in the bookstore.” The sudden compliment by Taehyung made you want to crawl in a hole. Okay, first of all I’m sure I’ve smiled in front of him....at some point.. You nodded and entered the store with him behind you. You began to browse through books and felt Taehyung hovering behind you. “Umm....so where are the....interesting books” Taehyung whispered behind you as he took off his sunglasses. “Interesting books?” You said turning to look at him “Ya know like Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, that sorta thing.” “Taehyung...you’re 19.” “Yea I know but...” “Tell me you’ve read a book since we were in middle school.” “You know, life is busy. Sometimes, we ju-“ “Okay Taehyung.” You said rolling your eyes. You continued to browse until you picked out a few books that caught your eye. Taehyung was trailing behind you the entire time like a lost puppy. It was kinda annoying but also super endearing. You purchased your books and Taehyung said “I remember you were always reading when we were kids. And you used to read to me when we go have picnics in the park! Remember?” You smiled, thinking back to those days. Most of your memories of reading did include Taehyung. Him forcing you to sit and read your favorite passage of the book you were currently reading. “Yea, I remember.” You said “I also remember you being a dumbass then just like how you are now.” Taehyung laughed “Yea I was a dumbass. But at least I started reading actual books because of you.” You two continued to walk while you explained your book purchases to him. “Wow” Taehyung said “those books sound super....enlightening” he smiled at his vocab choice. You couldn’t help but laugh. “Yea I’m excited to read them. I’ve actually been meaning to read The New Jim Crow for a while now so I’m probably going to start once I get back to my dorm.” You noticed Taehyung was staring at a shop across the street. It looked almost like an antique store. “Do you wanna go in there?” You said asking carefully He nodded hesitantly. You entered the store with Taehyung and his eyes lit up. “Wow look at this camera!” He said. There was a large vintage camera placed on the front display. It seemed like one of those Polaroid types. He picked it up carefully and analyzed it. You had almost forgotten. Taehyung used to love photography and art. When you were children, Taehyung had many disposable cameras and he was constantly taking pictures of the scenery, of his friends, and you. Even though you hated getting your photo taken, Taehyung would always secretly take pictures of you and show them to you once they were developed. You always ended up loving his photos of you the most. You hadn’t realized that Taehyung had started wandering around the store. You found him standing in front of a large painting. “It’s a modern rendition of Van Gogh's Starry Night” he told you. The painting had a cityscape with the iconic starry night swirls in the background. As you went with Taehyung around the store, he gave factoids about almost all the paintings there. I didn’t realize he was still interested in art . Taehyung ended up purchasing the vintage camera in front display along with the film for it. When you exited the store, Taehyung exhaled deeply. “I miss photography,” he said solemnly. “I stopped during high school, when I started dating Yeji.” You internally winced at the sound of her name. “I want to start again,” Taehyung said. “That’ll be good. You’ll have to show me your photos once you get developed,” you said with a small smile. It got quiet for a moment and you felt a question pressing your mind that you needed to ask Taehyung. “Why did you ask me to hang out?” You said bluntly. He smiled, “Why? I can’t ask a friend to hang out?” “No, but we haven’t hung out in a long time,” You said quietly. “It feels a bit random.” Taehyung stopped walking, “You’re right. It is a bit random and I haven’t really talked to you in a long time.” He paused, pondering for a moment, then continued, “I’m really homesick. College is hard. Being away from home is really hard, harder than I ever expected. And you remind me of home.” He scoffed at his own words “Actually, you are my home. Whenever I see you walking on campus, I feel...a sense of comfort, ya know? You’re someone who knows me, like actually knows me, Taehyung, not Kim Taehyung, the soccer player, or whatever people are labeling me.” You were shocked at his words. You truly had no idea that Taehyung was homesick. He seemed so normal and perfectly happy, like all the time. It was kinda nauseating. But he had put up a front the whole time. “Oh. I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling that way” wow that sounds so fake. You were so bad at consoling people that you weren’t close to. “But If you ever need to talk to someone, I’m always here Tae.” He gave you a smile “You used to call me Tae all the time. You only called me Taehyung when you were mad at me.” That was true. You didn’t realize he had picked up on it. “Well I must have called you Taehyung a lot” you said teasingly. “Only when I would pair us up for a school project” he said with a wink. You and Taehyung started heading back home and Taehyung started asking more about yourself. You gave short, one word answers, not really going in depth about anything. You hated talking about yourself and your feelings with people who you knew didn’t actually care. Taehyung seemed to get frustrated and he said “okay, why aren’t you telling me anything? I talked to you about myself. I know your life isn’t just school. I know you have feelings that aren’t ‘I’m stressed about grades’. Why are you shutting me out?” You sighed and said “Yea well I shut everyone out. Don’t take it personally. It’s just easier.” You realized that was probably really cold, but you were getting exhausted with his questions. Taehyung doesn’t really care about me. Or my feelings. He’s just a fuckboi who just wants any girl’s attention. You were walking at a faster pace so you were ahead of him and didn’t have to see his disheartened expression. He pulled your arm so you had to face him “Hey. I don’t know why you’re acting like this but I guess I have to make this abundantly clear: I’m your friend so I care about your well being. I’m sorry for not trying in our friendship but that’s in the past. I’m trying now and isn't that worth something?” You stared at him. His eyes were big and pleading. God he looks so cute. You immediately felt bad for being rude to him, “Yea, I do appreciate it. But like this is just a one time thing right? You were feeling sad and we hung out. That’s it.” “No ______, I miss our friendship,” he said in a genuine tone. You recoiled at the word friendship. Because that’s all you’ll ever be to Taehyung, a friend. “I don’t want this to be a one time thing. I want us to be in each other’s lives. Like before,” he said. You took a deep breath. It was simple. You could be friends with him. You just need to keep a clear mind and remember that you and Taehyung are not destined for anything more. “Yea. Me too,” you said, giving him a small smile. “Great! I’m so excited! This means you can come this weekend then right?” He said with his huge boxy smile. “What’s this weekend?” “______ were you not paying attention? I told you, this weekend BTS is having a party remember? At our frat house?” There was no way in hell you would ever step foot into an STI infested death trap Taehyung called a frat house. In fact the notion of you going to a frat party was so insane that you started to cackle. You doubled over in a fit of laughter. Taehyung just stared at you in confusion. “Uh what’s so funny?” he said, chuckling nervously. “If you think I would ever go to a frat party, then you’re crazy,” you said, still laughing. “What? Why wouldn’t you come?” “Taehyung, do I look like a person to go to your soccer frat? Plus I won’t know anyone there and it’ll be just so awkward.” “Well...no...but like why does that matter? I’m inviting you. I want you to be there! I promise I’ll be with you the whole time. Please!” He said. God he’s making those stupid doe eyes again. Taehyung was such a weakness for you. You would do anything to see his idiotic smile. “Ugh fine. But I’m literally going to say hi to you and then dipping,” you said crossing your arms over your chest. “That’s fine! As long as you come!” He said excitedly. His phone buzzed and he glanced at it, “Fuck I got soccer practice in like 20 minutes. I gotta go. But I’ll see you around!” Taehyung started to sprint off and you were just about to turn around before he called to you, ”By the way, the theme is catholic school so I expect to see you dress up.” What the shit is a catholic school theme?

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You had begun spending more time with Taehyung without even meaning to and things were almost how they used to be. Except for the fact that you needed to keep reminding yourself that Taehyung was a fuckboi. But you found it becoming harder to stop dreaming about “what if”. “Where did you get cake from?” You whined as Taehyung came over holding a paper plate with a large slice of chocolate cake with strawberries on top. He was wearing his practice uniform still. You were sitting on the picnic table tops near the soccer field, revising your psychology notes. You didn’t have time to stress bake this week and you felt your mouth watering at the sight of chocolate cake. He took a large bite and said “Scoot over. I wanna sit next to you” “Not until you tell me where you got that cake from,” you said scooting over because you really didn’t want him hovering over you. He smiled as he sat on the bench next to you and winked “A secret.” “You’re so fucking annoying.” You punched his arm. His nose scrunched up in pain and he rubbed the spot where you punched him “Ow! Some girl gave it to me in exchange for taking a picture of my abs.” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, “Wow you really sold your body for cake.” Taehyung took another large bite of cake, “It was worth it and I would definitely do it again” “Of course you would. You and your singular brain cell can’t really make high functioning decisions.” He set the cake on the table and ran his fingers through his hair, “Hurtful.” Then he looked you dead in the eyes and said with a smirk “But maybe you’re just jealous.” You knew what he was trying to imply (and maybe you were a bit jealous because apparently Taehyung just goes around showing his abs) but you would never give him that satisfaction, “I’m jealous that you have a piece of cake and I don’t.” He raised his eyebrow and leaned his face close to yours, “Yea right. I think you’re just jealous that she got to see my abs.” “Okay Taehyung.” You said rolling your eyes. You began to pack up your stuff, closing your textbook and putting away your pencils. Once Taehyung started getting flirty and cocky you knew it was time to leave. He grabbed your arm as you tried to shove your notebooks into your bag “I was jokinggg. ________ don’t leave me alone,” Taehyung said with a pout. God how does he look cute even when he’s being a pain in the ass. You pulled your arm from his grasp and said “Give me those strawberries and I’ll stay.” He plucked off a strawberry from the cake with his fingers and said “Say ah.” You were not going to let Taehyung feed you a strawberry that was too fucking weird. You tried to grab his wrist and take the strawberry from his hand with your own. “Just give it to me, I'm capable of eating by myself,” you said aggressively. He pushed your hands away and shoved his fingers close to your mouth, “Shut up and open your mouth” This was so humiliating but Taehyung loved to push your buttons and you knew you wouldn’t win this one. You opened your mouth and he put the strawberry in. Your eyes connected with his for a second and you quickly looked away, “This is good. Definitely worth selling your dignity.” He smirked “I know right!” He looked at your mouth and said, “You got some chocolate on your face. Here lemme get it.” Before you could process what he was saying, he swiped his thumb on the corner of your mouth. The feeling of his hand on your face warmed your cheeks immediately. Well fuck. “Oh shit look at the time I have to go,” you said, motioning to your wrist that clearly did not have a watch. You quickly walked away so he couldn’t see the blush blooming over your entire face. Literally he didn’t even do anything. Why the fuck do you have to get worked up about the smallest things? You were just about to make your escape from Taehyung before he shouted out across the entire quad, “Hey __________! I better see you there on Saturday!” Oh my god why did he do that? Everyone is staring at me now. You gave him a thumbs up and walked into the nearest building. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Hana I don’t actually have to go. Tae probably invites so many girls to these frat parties,” you groaned as you spun around on your swivel chair. “Oh so it’s Tae now? No more Taehyung?” Hana said with a smirk. You rolled your eyes, “Shut up, I used to call him that before, it’s just an old habit” Hana put her hands on your shoulders to get you to stop spinning and said in a reassuring tone, “Honey, I’m sure Taehyung does invite other girls. But those other girls just want to get into his pants. You’re just a ‘friend’ as you claim.” “I am just a friend! I just don’t know why I have to go if he’s going to be busy with other people,” You said, leaning your head back on the chair. Hana said pleaded, “Just go this one time and then if you absolutely hate it you don’t ever have to go again.” Tired of arguing, you said, “Ugh fine.” Hana clapped her hands together, “Oh my gosh finally! I didn’t think that would actually work. Okay so now what are you going to wear?” She began to rifle through her closet. You stared at her as she began to throw clothes onto the ground, “He said the theme was catholic school. Whatever the fuck that means.” Hana said “It means short skirts and button downs,”, gesturing to her own outfit. Hana was wearing a blue and red plaid schoolgirl skirt with a knotted white button down, revealing her midriff. The thought of wearing anything revealing made you feel nauseous, “Yea I think I would rather set myself on fire than do that.” You stared at Hana. She was so pretty and her kind personality only further highlighted that. You were jealous of the girls who would wear makeup not because they felt pressure by society but because they were confident enough in themselves to do so. You were jealous of the girls who felt comfortable in their own skin and didn’t want to hide from the world. Your insecurities controlled your life. It was the reason why you wore clothes 3 times your size. It was the reason why you didn’t bother to put on makeup because you knew you would just notice all your flaws more. You could not help but think that every person that looks at you only saw the things you hated about yourself. It was the reason why you fully and truly believed no one could ever love you back. Because we choose to accept the love we think we deserve (taken from Perks of Being a Wallflower author's note). While you were roaming your thoughts, you realized Hana was taking out outfits for you. “You could wear this,” she said holding up a polo dress, “or this” holding up a short navy skirt “Hana, those are cute but it’s a catholic themed party right? So I think I’ll just stick to the original concept,” you said with a smile, standing up from your chair. You went to your closet and started to rummage through. Hana immediately became worried, “______ no no no no. I know what you’re thinking and this is not a time for your rebellious acts. You can still be a feminist while showing off your body” “I never said you couldn’t do that but I truly do not give a fuck about what anyone thinks of me so,” you said as you rummaged through your own closet and pulled out a long navy skirt you owned “I’ll just wear this” pulled out a white sweater “and this.” Hana smacked her palm against her forehead and groaned, “Ugh at least it’s cute.” -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hana, do we really have to go?” You turned to her as you approached the frat house. Loud music was blasting and you could hear the chatter of people from down the street. You could feel the anxiety building up in your chest. You really didn’t want to be hanging out with Taehyung if it meant dealing with girls who were just trying to climb on his dick. “Yes! This is good for you. You need to socialize and not worry about school for a little bit.” She said pushing you up the street. You were amazed at her determination, dragging you up to a party on an uphill street while wearing black stilettos. “It’s not fair how I’ve been trying to get you to go to a party all year and you never went but once Kim Taehyung swings his dick in front of you, suddenly you show up.” she grumbled. “Literally, shut up. I’m only going so his dumbass can leave me alone. I really could care less about his feelings or his dick,” you said staring at your dirty white sneakers. “Rightttt” Hana said in an unconvincing tone. She pulled you up to the frat house door and pushed you inside. You walked into the house with Hana right behind you. You looked around and you felt immediately out of place. Firstly, you were definitely the only one who went with the original intent of the concept “catholic school”. Secondly, there were way too many people grinding on each other. You immediately turned to Hana and said excitedly “let’s leave!” She turned you back in the direction of the party and held onto your shoulders, “No no no I dragged you all the way here in my fucking stilletos so you are not leaving without saying hi to Taehyung.” Crossing your arms, “Fine, but we have to find that idiot first” You scoped around the party and saw him. Of course he’s surrounded by a crowd of obnoxiously pretty girls. You accidentally locked eyes with him and he waved at you. You didn’t expect much else so you were about to turn around to Hana and tell her you were leaving but she looked at you and said “Oh hey. There’s Taehyung, he’s coming over here.” You quickly said, “I’m sure he’s coming over to talk to someone else here so let’s just go.” But before you could turn to the door you heard his overly friendly voice shout “Hey ______!” Shit “Hey Taehyung,” you said, turning to him. Fuck, he looked good. He was wearing white collared shirt with black slacks. He had on a red and blue tie that had become loose which just only amplified the hotness of his outfit. He put his arm around your shoulder and said “You look cute. Love the outfit.” His close presence made you uneasy. You could smell his cologne; you didn’t really know what the scent was exactly but it definitely smelled really good and distinctly like Taehyung. You already felt super out of place and you weren’t in the mood for Taehyung's teasing so you said in an aggressive tone, “You don’t need to be mean. I get it. I’m dressed like an actual nun” “No ______ I’m being serious. I think you really do look cute” “Oh,” you felt a blush creeping onto your cheeks ”Thanks I guess.” Wanting to get the attention away from yourself, you quickly gestured to your friend, “This is my roommate Hana.” Taehyung's eyes widen in realization, “Ah I’ve seen her around the frat house before with Jungkookie.” Hana chuckled nervously and brushed her hair behind her ear, “Ah yea I’ve been here a bit.” She didn’t really like talking too much about her relationship with Jungkook so changing the topic, Hana said, “I had no idea you and _______ knew each other.” You interjected before Taehyung could say something stupid, “Yea, we used to be best friends.” Taehyung looked at you and in his fake hurt tone, he said “Used to be? We still are best friends.” You realized he was definitely tipsy because he was acting quite childish now, more so than his normal amount. One of his friends, Jimin you think, came over and whispered something to Taehyung. You took this opportunity to duck away from his embrace. You turned to Hana but she was looking at something with her nose scrunched up, obviously disgusted by something. You follow her eyeline and see that she’s staring at Jungkook who is dancing with some girl. “Ugh fuck Jungkook,” you say. You suspected that your friend has caught feelings for Jungkook but you know that with her stubborn personality she would never admit it. “What?” She realized you saw her staring at Jungkook. “oh that? Whatever. Jungkook can do whatever he wants. It's not like we are exclusive.” Hana said, whipping her head away from Jungkook and the girl. Then she smiled at Jimin with an evil glint in her eye and you knew that she got some idea in her head. Hana said in her sweetest voice possible “Hey Jimin.” Jimin immediately broke from his conversation with Taehyung, flashing his beautiful smile at her, “Hey Hana! I haven’t seen you in a bit.” “Oh you know classes have been a bit overwhelming lately. I’d really like to take my mind off all the stress,” she said twirling her hair around her finger. “Oh I see, well I think dancing with me would definitely take your mind off of school” Jimin said cockily, extending his hand out to Hana. “I would love that,” she said, grabbing his hand. Jimin pulled Hana away from you and toward the crowd of people dancing. How the fuck did Hana do that so easily? She literally got Jimin's attention just by saying hello. You were left standing with Taehyung alone. “I know you didn’t want to be here but I’m so glad you came,” he said but you could barely hear his voice over the blasting music. “Sorry I can't really hear what you’re saying. The music is too loud.” You were trying to motion out the words for Taehyung and he nodded understanding the message. He extended his hand out to you and you glanced at it uneasily. He gave you a serious stare and grabbed your hand, leading you through the crowd. The large sea of people surrounding you made you feel really uneasy, so unconsciously you gripped his hand harder. He smirked at you but you stared at the ground not trying to give him the satisfaction. You realized he was leading you up the stairs. He kept on holding your hand and led you to the third door on the left. He quietly pushed open the door and you entered the room behind him. Um why did he bring me into his room? What does he want from me? You started to feel nauseous. Does Taehyung think you’re a girl who just wants to fuck? Your feelings were so confused and you definitely didn’t want to do anything with Taehyung in his room that he probably brought girls over to every weekend. He noticed your troubled expression and said, “Hey. I brought you here because I wanted to talk somewhere quiet. No other reason.” he said in a calm voice. The bubble of anxiety in your chest dispersed. But being his stupid self he winked at you and said, “I mean unless you want to.” “Shut the fuck up. You’re such a headass,” you said, shaking your head. You looked around his room and his room was nicely decorated, a lot more modern and minimalist than you thought a college student was capable of designing. You noticed a photo frame hung up and immediately smiled. “That’s my favorite birthday gift. I had to bring it,” Taehyung said standing behind you. It was a framed photograph taken by Taehyung's favorite photographer, Ante Badzim. You gave it to him on his 16th birthday, before everything changed. “Downstairs, I was saying I was glad you came tonight,” he said as he sat down on the edge of bed. “Yea I mean I said I would come. For you, only” you said sitting next to him. “That’s why you’re my best friend.” He said giving you a hug. Drunk Tae is way more affectionate than regular Tae. You laughed pushing him away, “For sure, Taehyung. It’s not because you annoyed me into coming.” Taehyung laid down on the bed with his legs dangling on the edge. With the moonlight streaming onto his face, you felt like you could see him clearly for the first time. His curly hair, his double eyelid on his right eye, the little mole on his nose. He looked tired. You laid on his bed next to him taking in the first moment of peacefulness of the night. The room was a comfortable quiet. He broke the silence with a whisper “Why did we stop being friends?” You knew exactly what he was talking about but in a poor attempt to escape the question you scoffed uncomfortably, “What are you talking about? We’ve always been friends” He turned his head to you but you kept your head straight ahead focused the little cracks on the ceiling above you. He said with a bit more confidence “No, I mean we used to be best friends but then we stopped. We were just friends. We didn’t talk as much and we barely hung out.” You were quiet. A million thoughts running through your head. What were you supposed to do? Tell him the truth? Oh yea so like I kinda was in love with you when we were juniors in highschool and I thought you maybe felt the same but when I finally picked up the courage to tell you the very same evening you called me telling me that you asked out another girl and that you totally liked her. Then you ended up dating that girl for the entirety of junior and senior year and because seeing you two together every day for two years broke me and pained my heart that I just had to basically cut you out of my life. 

Yeah, right. Like you could ever face up to the reality of your feelings and tell them to another live human being. 

You whispered into silence with a choked out, “I don’t know.” You turned your head facing him, “I’m sorry that happened but sometimes people fall apart.” He looked at you with his big brown doe eyes, “I just want to know if it was something I did so I can never do it again. This past week I realized how much I needed you in my life and if I did something for us to lose two years of friendship, I want to never do it again.” Your heart trembled at his earnest words. You knew he meant it. He truly didn’t know what happened. And that’s exactly why you can’t fall for him again. He doesn’t even know what he does to you, what he does to your feelings. Taehyungs words didn’t help. You could feel your will slipping but you pushed the thought aside. You stared back into the darkness of his eyes, “You didn’t do anything Taehyung. Plus like you said, what happened is in the past and what matters is now.” “You’re right. I just missed you so much” he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck. “Your hair smells so good,” he whispered. What the fuck. Taehyung must be so drunk. This was getting way too intimate for your comfort. “Let’s go downstairs Taehyung.” You pushed his arms from your shoulders and sat up. He got up and looked at you, “You better not leave as soon as we go down.” “No promises,” you said chuckled, as you walked out his door. You noticed some people were staring at you but you shrugged it off. It must because of your completely out of place outfit. Taehyung was behind you still so you turned to him and said, “I’m going to go to the kitchen and get some water.” “I’ll be on the couch,” Taehyung said as he walked away. You nodded at him, went to the kitchen, and opened the fridge. You were attempting to find a bottle of water in the fridge because you stupidly forgot your own at your dorm. When you closed the fridge door, there was a girl waiting behind it. You assumed she was trying to get to the fridge so you tried to duck out of her way but she called your name, “______ right?” “Um yea.” You were thoroughly confused as to how this girl knew your name. You didn’t get a good look at her until she said your name. She was very pretty with light brown hair cascading down her shoulder. She gave a cold smile and said “My name is Jennie, but you probably knew that” Jennie. That sounded familiar but you couldn’t remember where you heard her name before. “Yea I just wanted to know um what's your deal with Taehyung? I saw you go up into his room with him.“ Shit, that probably looked really bad. You felt your cheeks redden at the innuendo. “Yea but like nothing happened. Tae and I are just friends.” “Yea I know that. As if he would ever hook up with anyone like you.” Her tone was icy and insulting. Then suddenly you remembered where you heard her name. Before you came to the party tonight Hana was telling you all of the tea about the BTS frat. Hana told you that even though none of the BTS guys, except for Namjoon, had significant others, they still had people they regularly hooked up with. For Jungkook, it was Hana (but you were pretty sure they had gone exclusive without even meaning to). For Taehyung, it was Jennie. You knew that her comment was surface level, but it still stung a little. “Yea I know that. But that’s why we are just friends,” you said shrugging your shoulders. “I’m just saying, even as ‘friends’ don’t get your hopes up. Taehyung breaks a lot of girls' hearts without even meaning to.” Her insulting tone changed to one of almost concern. As if she was looking out for you. “Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it. But I know Taehyung and I don’t think I can fall for him.” you said, not believing your own words. She smiled and this time it felt real. “Ok good. I’ll see you around,” she said and then stalked away. The anxiety in your heart didn’t go away but when you took a deep breath the air seemed lighter. You headed back to the couch where Taehyung was waiting for you. Suddenly as you came to a realization of what was in front of you, you felt your heart almost drop before you caught yourself and scoffed. Boys are so fucking oblivious. Of course, you left Taehyung for 5 minutes alone and he already had a girl on his lap, practically eating his face. She pulled his face closer to his and you watched as he cupped her cheek. Even though you mostly felt like you didnt care, your heart felt heavy in your chest as she curled her hands through his permed hair, something you've daydreamed about. You only came to this party for Taehyung and now he seemed preoccupied. Alright it’s time to leave. You checked your phone. 12:37. If I leave now, I could binge a couple episodes of Parks and Rec. Just as you were about to turn around and leave, somehow Taehyung noticed you from the corner of his eye. He pulled his face away from the girl on his lap and called to you, “Hey ______. Are you leaving already?” Why the fuck does he care? He has a girl grinding on his dick right now. Why can’t he just leave me alone? “Uh yea I came here to hang out with you but you seem...a bit busy... so I’ll head out now,” you said with a light chuckle. The girl on his lap glared at you, mad that you took his attention away from her. She started kissing his neck aggressively. “Wait if you still want to hang out, we can!” Taehyung exclaimed, trying to shift away from the girl on him. Why the fuck does he want to hang out with me? This girl is obviously trying to get in his pants. You felt self conscious with the girl staring daggers at you while Taehyung was trying to talk to you. “No no I’m tired anyways I’ll see you...later I guess” you said waving him off. “______ wait!” He called But you already left. Seeing Taehyung make out with some random, really pretty girl, kind of ruined your mood and also the girl on his lap who looked like she wanted to tear your hair out didn’t help your interest in staying longer. When you got back to the dorm, you glanced at your phone. Tae: hey did you make it back to ur room  okay? You: yep Tae: sorry if I made things awkward You: it wasn’t awkward. Idc what u do tae. Tae: oh ok. You stared at your ceiling and chuckled to yourself. You almost for a second thought Taehyung was different. But he wasn’t. He was just like every other headass boy on this planet. At least you caught yourself before he cracked through your guard. You couldn’t fall for him. Not again. Your phone buzzed and you checked the text you got. Tae: wanna get waffles tomorrow morning? You scoffed loudly. He fucks one girl and then wants to get breakfast with another. Boys are so clueless. You were thinking of what excuse to text him, but then he sent another text. Tae: ik ur thinking of some excuse to say no so if you say yes ill pay. Damn he knew you. You: fine Tae: bet. See you tomorrow 🍓 girl You inhaled a deep breath and whispered to yourself you don’t like Kim Taehyung. You don’t like him. You can’t like him again. But somehow the words you said were disconnected from the confused feelings in your heart. The familiar knot in your heart should have been the red flag to make you realize that you were fucked.

author’s note: theres a line in here that is not mine “we accept the love we think we deserve” it is taken from perks of being a wallflower. also, the summary was adapted from billie eilish’s bitches broken hearts. btw the books and movies i reference in here are some of my favs! lmk if ur enjoying the fic so far! 

tags: @fleurmoon @tangledsparkles @chocolatebelievercrusade

[twopoppies]

do you know of any fics where one of them has a secret identity? kind of like how it is in escapade or tired tired sea with a different name

Hmmm. That’s a good question. I think I’ve got a few you might like.

I’ll start with the two you mention:

Tired, Tired Sea by mediawhore / @mediawhorefics (M, 113K) Always a favorite author, this one is beautifully descriptive and moody and charming. I was anxiously waiting for this one from the first drabbles I saw on Tumblr. I loved the way Harry’s character unfolded and let Louis in, the way Louis made space for him in his life (and heart), and the way Harry’s character struggled with and eventually found a way to live and be happy with his fame.

Escapade by dolce_piccante (E, 146K) Escort Harry. I know, I know. This fic really doesn’t need more recs –– everyone knows this one. But It’s a good one. In particular, the hate to love chemistry of the main characters is done really, really well. It’s a really fun read

Golden by Shaylea (E, 128K) I loved this author‘s last fic, and somehow, they managed to write another captivating story that’s so immersed in the country it takes place in. I was sucked in right from the start and really like how they write complex, flawed characters that you still root and cheer for. It’s a bit neat in its conclusion, but I think it’s very much worth a read.

Deux Fantômes by ohpleaselarry (E, 16K) So, let me start by saying I cried through ¾ of this. I promise it’s a happy ending, but it’s heavy and very moving. Please read the tags as there are some triggering things, but it’s also so sweet and gentle and really well written.

Tiptoe Through Our Shiny City by graceling_in_a_suit / @graceling-in-a-suit (T, 8K) This one is quirky and charming, with great banter and a fun premise. It’s also one of the only fics I’ve read where Harry is demisexual. I really enjoyed this one.

Turning Page by purpledaisy (M, 68K) This author does a wonderful job with their characterizations which makes their fics such a pleasure to read. This one really has you rooting for curmudgeonly Louis and skittish/secretive Harry to figure their shit out and fall in love. If you like this one, make time to read this author’s fic, Walk That Mile – it’s one of my all time favorites. 

Lambing Season by @helloamhere (E, 26K) This is beautiful little emotional fic and it’s one of my favorites. If you’ve ever wanted to leave your shitty work environment, escape to an idyllic countryside, and find love along the way, read this one. 

I Walk The Line by Awriterwrites / @a-writerwrites (E, 55K - Spy AU) This author is always one of my favorites – her fics are always sexy, fun, fast paced, and she often likes to throw a curve ball in when you least expect it. This one is no different. 

Fall Into Your Gravity by zarah5 (E, 74K) My notes on this one are useless. But I remember loving it and as I’ve already said, all of this author’s fics are worth reading. A little mistaken identity makes for good times!

Yellow by 13ways / @13ways-of-looking (E, 85K) Oh mah gawd. I love this fic so much. This was the result of a reverse big bang I made a prompt for and I’m forever grateful that this was the author who chose it! Yes, it’s Batman/Catwoman. No, you don’t ned to know anything about the comics. But wow! Such good pacing, the smut scenes are fire, the concept is so original and keeps you guessing until the very end. Link is to a download.

Landslide by aimmyarrowshigh, spibsy (lucy_and_ramona) (E, 143K - FBI) Read the tags on this one, it’s very realistic and there’s a LOT going on. These authors are terrific together (they wrote my favorite polyamory fic series) and the writing here is excellent. They really capture the grittiness of living “off the grid” in the 1970s as well as the angst involved with questioning everything you know about yourself and the person you’ve fallen in love with. 

And actually, I think my fic would work here as well. 

gathered on wings by Brooklyn_Babylon / @twopoppies (E, 33K)

What Harry Styles wanted was to be taken seriously as an artist. What he needed was a new sugar daddy to pave the way. Louis Tomlinson is an artist who isn’t what Harry is looking for. Somehow he still manages to turn Harry's world upside down.

[tsarisfanfiction]

2020: A [Fandom] Summary

2020 was a pretty rotten year, let’s face it, so now I’m safely away from it for good I’m stealing something @gumnut-logic​ mentioned to me and summarising all the things I managed to make this year!  Let’s start 2021 on a nice positive note... look at all the things I managed to do in the world of fandom!

FANFICTION:

In 2020...

I published 69 works, 66 of which are complete - all for Thunderbirds Are Go

Which came to a total of 268,863 words (Tumblr-only scenes and short stories came to a further 29,764 words which put my grand total up to 298,627!)

My most popular fic on tumblr was Out Patience with 60 notes (wow!!)

My most kudos’d fic on AO3 was Bedtme (Should Not Be 4am) with 62 kudos!

My most favourited fic on FFN was Grounded with 13 favourites!

My longest fic was Long Way From Home, which is incomplete but on 30,902 words published so far (longest complete fic was Grounded on 21,100 words)

(I have not included Tales From The Heart as everything that was posted this year on my blog was written and archived on AO3/FFN in 2017-2019)

FANART:

In 2020...

I posted 12 completed drawings, across 6 fandoms (and across 3 blogs...) - Bleach, D.Gray-Man, Marchen Awakens Romance, Naruto, One Piece and Thunderbirds Are Go

My most popular was “Return of the Dragon” with 114 notes (over a hundred!!! How???)

In conclusion, Tsari has been one very busy bee this year!  Links to everything are below the cut if anyone’s looking for a refresher, or thinks they missed something!

And because I am only human and love validation - if you have a favourite thing I’ve written (or drawn) this year, tell me what it is!  Can just be the  name (although if you want to tell me why that would make my night, I can’t lie), I’d just love to know what people particularly loved :D

COMPLETED WORKS:

Phobos John looks at his brothers, and worries. Rated: Gen/K+.  Family.  John, Scott Words: 1k; published January 2020

Treasured Family Scott’s day hadn’t gone well, and was about to get worse. John doesn’t care for that, and Alan makes a good accomplice.  Episode tag: 3.22 Rated: Gen/K+.  Family.  John, Scott, Alan, Gordon Words: 2k; multichap - completed January 2020

Wax and Feathers Sometimes limits need to be broken. But a limit is there for a reason, and breaking them has consequences.  Episode tag: 3.20 Rated: Gen/K+.  Family.  Scott, Gordon, Virgil Words: 4k; published February 2020

Hero They say you should never meet your heroes. Failure to comply may result in getting tongue-tied, or a failure of the brain to mouth filter.  Episode tag: 3.24 Rated: Gen/K.  Friendship.  Outsider PoV, Scott Words: 1k; published February 2020

Fall He’s not there, until he is.  Episode tag: 3.25 Rated: Teen.  Angst/Hurt/Comfort.  Scott, Jeff Words: 900; published February 2020

Bedtime (Should Not Be 4am) The first night home should be relaxing, but for Jeff it’s anything but as he readjusts to being back on Earth, and five sons who’ve grown up without him. Episode tag: 3.25/26 Rated: Gen/K+.  Family.  Jeff, Gordon, Scott, John Words: 3k; published February 2020

Blank Slate Jeff finds that there’s one relationship he can build from scratch.  Episode tag: 3.25/26 Rated: Gen/K.  Friendship.  Jeff, The Mechanic Words: 1k; published February 2020

Apple Juice How hard is it to get a drink?  Harder when younger brothers insist on interfering. Rated: Gen/K+.  Family.  Scott, Virgil, Tracy brothers Words: 1k; published February 2020

Firelight For Buddy and Ellie, camping is a beautiful way to live. Rated: Gen/K.  Romance.  Buddy, Ellie Words: 500; published March 2020

An Important Part John’s care packages sometimes contain a very special box. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  John, Tracy brothers Words: 1k; published March 2020 

Grape Juice or Wine A function that serves alcohol and a teenage brother. Just what Scott needed. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Scott, Alan Words: 700; published April 2020

Chess Master Gordon has a prized possession. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Gordon, John, Tracy brothers Words: 700; published April 2020

Heroes Made of Gas A spaceman and his stars. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  John, Jeff Words: 700; published April 2020

Caretaker Scott’s week from hell couldn’t just finish without throwing him a final twist. Rated: Gen/K+.  Hurt/Comfort/Family.  Scott, Tracy brothers Words: 1k; published April 2020

Riding the Dragon | Return of the Dragon Part 1: Scott was excited, and John was not, but who really got the last laugh? Part 2: Ten years later they’re back, and this time Alan’s up for the challenge. John isn’t about to let Scott forget about their last adventure, though. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Scott, John, Alan, Tracy brothers Words: 4k; multichap - completed April 2020

Fresh Air When the standard methods of dealing with Scott don’t work, Virgil has to resort to something a little more creative. Rated: Gen/K.  Hurt/Comfort/Family.  Virgil, Scott Words: 2k; published April 2020

Unexpected When it came to the next generation, Scott didn’t think it would happen quite like this. Rated: Gen/K+.  Family.  Scott, John, Gordon, EOS Words: 1k; published April 2020

Awe The Shelbys were probably expecting a certain beautiful Lady when Gordon asked to bring a plus one, not an older brother. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Virgil, Gordon Words: 1k; published April 2020

Thrill Seeker “Launching a rocket into space most days not enough of an adrenaline kick for you, kid?” Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Alan, Grandma, John Words: 1k; published April 2020

The Tale of Scotty-Bear When Lee Taylor bought a bog-standard teddy bear for his best friend’s baby, he probably didn’t expect it to be quite so popular. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Scott, Tracy brothers Words: 1k; published April 2020

I Just Can’t Wait To Be Free When Scott gets stuck, Gordon’s the only one around - too bad he can’t stop laughing. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Gordon, Scott Words: 1k; published April 2020

Splatter Scott was going to regret leaving him to handle Gordon alone, especially when paint got involved. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Virgil, Gordon, Scott Words: 2k; published April 2020

Revenge (Should Be Piping Hot) The only aspect of his appearance Virgil cared about was his hair. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Virgil, Scott, Tracy brothers Words: 1k; published May 2020 

The Rules of Engagement Even acts of immaturity between brothers have to follow rules. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Scott, John, Virgil, Gordon, Alan Words: 1k; published May 2020

Night At The Opera Surely an invitation to the opera was better suited for Virgil? Or one of his other brothers? No? Okay, then. Wait, what do you mean he had to wear a suit? Rated: Gen/K+.  Friendship/Family.  Scott, Lady Penelope, Parker, Tracy family Words: 10k; published May 2020

Nothing See: Was space supposed to be this dark? A mission to rescue the crew of a freighter goes horribly wrong. Rated: Teen.  Hurt/Comfort/Angst.  Scott, Tracy Family Words: 8k; multichap - completed June 2020

Strays Her Ladyship collects strays. Rated: Gen/K.  Friendship.  Parker, Penelope, John, Gordon Words: 1k; published June 2020

Pulse Touch: Earthquakes suck. Badly. Especially when you’re still in an unstable building when the world crashes down. Rated: Teen.  Hurt/Comfort/Angst.  Scott, Gordon, Tracy Family Words: 11k; multichap - completed June 2020

Melt Smell: Snowy rescues are always the worst. Always. Rated: Teen.  Hurt/Comfort/Angst.  Scott, Virgil, Gordon, Tracy Family Words: 11k; multichap - completed June 2020

Silent Taste: They say you should ask for help when you need it, but what can you do except suffer in silence when asking for help will destroy your family? Rated: Teen.  Hurt/Comfort/Angst.  Scott, Tracy Family Words: 12k; multichap - completed June 2020

Tremor Hear: Not everyone worships the ground International Rescue walk on. Rated: Mature.  Hurt/Comfort/Angst.  Scott, Hood, Tracy Family Words: 14k; multichap - completed July 2020

Hollow Sixth Sense: Two teenagers and a night hike in the middle of nowhere is a recipe for disaster. When trouble strikes the clock starts ticking, but there’s no International Rescue around to pull off a miracle. Rated: Teen.  Hurt/Comfort/Angst.  Scott, John, Jeff, Tracy Family Words: 11k; multichap - completed July 2020 

The Six Foot Club Outgrowing Gordon was an inevitability, but Alan hadn’t given much thought about the respective heights of his other brothers. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Alan, Virgil, Gordon Words: 800; published July 2020  

Out Patience There are three Tracys in the hospital and only one of them should be out of bed. Rated: Gen.  Family.  Alan, Scott, Virgil Words: 4k; published July 2020

Grounded Scott didn’t enjoy the trash mine rescue at all, but he enjoyed the consequences of it even less.  Episode tag: 3.22/23 Rated: Teen.  Hurt/Comfort/Family.  Scott, Tracy Family Words: 21k; multichap - completed July 2020

Human Scott needs to stop taking his helmet off first chance he gets - one day, his luck will run out. Rated: Teen.  Hurt/Comfort/Family.  Gordon, Scott, Grandma Words: 4k; published August 2020

Not Alone John makes a miscalculation with unexpected consequences. Rated: Gen.  Family/Friendship.  John, Scott, EOS Words: 4k; published August 2020

Cracks Under The Surface History likes to repeat itself and the human brain likes to find patterns. Rated: Teen.  Hurt/Comfort/Family.  Scott, Jeff, Virgil Words: 4k; published August 2020

Divided, United Waking up bound in a dark room is never good news, but the absence of the brother he saw shot in front of him just makes it worse. Rated: Teen.  Angst/Hurt/Comfort.  Scott, Virgil, John Words: 6k; published August 2020

For A Brother When it came to protecting family, there were no limits. Rated: Teen.  Angst/Hurt/Comfort.  Virgil, Scott, Kayo, John Words: 7k; published August 2020

The Only Course of Action John’s job is to watch and listen, but sometimes he’s also the last resort. Rated: Teen.  Angst/Hurt/Comfort.  John, Scott Words: 4k; published August 2020

Noise Was that racket supposed to be blaring from their comms?  Alan hoped not. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Alan, Virgil, Tracy brothers, Kayo Words: 1k; published August 2020

His Collection The Hood knows what he wants, and will stop at nothing to get it.  International Rescue have other ideas. Rated: Teen.  Humour.  Hood, Scott, Virgil Words: 1k; published August 2020

3am A desire for water in the early hours of the morning leads Sally Tracy to a revelation. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Grandma, Scott, John Words: 600; published November 2020

Liminal After the rain comes the sun, but there’s a special moment in between. Rated: Gen/K.  Friendship.  Parker, Scott Words: 1k; published November 2020

One More Stuffed Toy The arcade is loud and chaotic, but John doesn’t care, because his brothers are with him. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  John, Tracy Brothers Words: 1k; published November 2020

After Sundown Scott didn’t let Alan help with the big things, but he didn’t say no to the small things. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Alan, Grandma, Scott Words: 1k; published November 2020

Same Old Song and Dance Dealing with a sick Scott was a challenge that Virgil had honed into an art. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Virgil, Scott Words: 1k; published November 2020

First Time It should be Dad, but it’s John instead and he wouldn’t change it for anything. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  John, Alan Words: 800; published November 2020

At The End of The Day After a long, tiring rescue, Virgil just wanted coffee, a shower, and his bed. Gordon had a better idea. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Virgil, Gordon, Scott Words: 1k; published November 2020

Deserving Who looked at the world and said “this deserves to be saved?”  A family of youngsters who’d lost too much already. Rated: Gen/K.  Family/Friendship.  Colonel Casey, Tracy Family Words: 800; published November 2020

His Sons Jeff had been gone eight years.  He’d missed his sons growing up into young men, but that didn’t mean they weren’t still the same boys he’d left behind. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Jeff, Tracy Brothers Words: 900; published November 2020

Faulty It was supposed to be a pleasant, quiet evening.  Then the multilingual tirade started in the kitchen. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Virgil, John, Tracy Brothers Words: 1k; published November 2020

Indescribable The sky is blue, the grass is green, Scott Tracy is a big brother. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Scott Words: 700; published November 2020

Simple Success Any success is worth celebrating, even if it isn’t one of the biggest, most impressive feats in IR history. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Scott, Tracy Family Words: 1k; published November 2020

It Calls Me Scott was born to fly. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Scott Words: 700; published November 2020

Words Not Said (But Still Heard) Gordon didn’t remember much about his time in the hospital, but he remembered the song. Rated: Gen/K.  Family/Hurt/Comfort.  Gordon, Scott Words: 1k; published November 2020

Unexpected, Not Unwanted It might not have been her intention to end up with five sons, but that didn’t mean she loved them any less. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Lucille, Tracy Family Words; 1k; published November 2020

Snap There was a whole mountain of paperwork, but a certain annoying younger brother refused to leave him in peace long enough for him to get it done. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Scott, Gordon Words: 1k; published November 2020

The Box In The Locker Reuniting families is one of the best feelings in the world, especially when one of the ‘family members’ is the child’s best friend. Rated: Gen/K.  Friendship.  Virgil Words: 800; published November 2020

Night Out Gordon learnt two things that night: Scott was an affectionate drunk, and sometimes people throw bar stools for no good reason. Rated: Teen.  Family.  Gordon, Scott Words: 2k; published November 2020

In Your Shadow “Tomorrow, they’re not gonna say ‘that’s Gordon Tracy, the Olympic Champion!’ Tomorrow, they’re gonna say ‘that’s Scott Tracy’s little brother!’, and I’m gonna say ‘damn straight I am.’” Rated: Gen/K+.  Family.  Gordon, Scott Words: 2k; published December 2020

The Sound of Thunder(birds) The sound of a Thunderbird should be a sound of hope and reassurance, but not everyone hears it that way. Rated: Gen/K.  Friendship.  Scott Words: 1k; published December 2020

Too Far It’s not normally Virgil that Scott has to pull up for misconduct.  Episode Tag: 3.06 Rated: Teen/K+.  Hurt/Comfort/Family.  Virgil, Scott Words: 2k; published December 2020

Steady Hands One boat. Two brothers. A life-or-death game of Jenga. Rated: Teen.  Family/Friendship.  Virgil, Gordon, Scott, Chaos Crew Words: 8k; published December 2020

Get Some Sleep, Scott There was no cure for self-destructive idiocy, but Virgil still had a trick - or rather, a last resort - up his sleeve when Scott went too far. It hadn’t failed him yet. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Virgil, Scott, Gordon Words: 1k; published December 2020

ONGOING WORKS:

Desert Sands On the way home from a rescue Thunderbird One and Scott disappear from Thunderbird Five’s sensors, leaving International Rescue scrambling to both discover what happened and find them. Rated: Teen.  Hurt/Comfort/Family.  Scott, John, Tracy Family Words: 13k; Chapters: 7/?; updated September 2020

Long Way From Home His brothers are missing. In their place is a family of strangers, the only explanation that makes any sense is beyond comprehension, and the only solution is impossible. Scott Tracy’s never been so far from home. Rated: Teen.  Family/Friendship.  Scott, Tracy Family Words: 30k; Chapters: 7/?; updated November 2020

Toffee Gordon is a lover of many things.  Toffee is not one of them. Rated: Gen/K.  Family.  Gordon, John, Grandma, Scott Words: 8k; Chapters: 4; updated November 2020

TUMBLR-EXCLUSIVE WORKS:

Dream A FabFiveFeb2020 ficlet using the prompts Scott+Dream Characters: Scott - February 2020

Short Snippet An abandoned wip with implied character death Characters: Gordon, Scott - April 2020

Heavy Metal  A short ficlet inspired by the episode of the same name. Characters: Alan, Scott - April 2020

Random Scene   A short scene with dark!John and EOS Characters: Jeff, John, EOS - May 2020

Random Scene   A Thunderbirds/Detective Conan potential idea Characters: Gordon, John, Scott - May 2020

Random Scene   A Thunderbirds/Percy Jackson potential AU Characters: Percy, Gordon - May 2020

Random Prologue  Where Scott ends up in jail for murder Characters: Col. Casey, Scott - July 2020

WIP #46 Scott gets caught in an avalanche. Characters: Virgil, Scott, John, Grandma - November 2020

WIP #47 Scott gets caught in a serious plane crash. Characters: Gordon, Scott, Virgil, Alan, John, Col. Casey - November 2020

WIP #48  The original, and terrible, version of my published work Grape Juice or Wine. Characters: Alan, Tracy Brothers - November 2020

WIP #55   A post-series fic focusing on the aftermath of Jeff’s return home Characters: Jeff, Gordon, Grandma - November 2020

WIP #56  A sequel to my published work Hero. Characters: Neil (OC), Henry, Bee, Scott - November 2020

WIP #59a |  WIP #59b |  WIP #59c  A squabble between brothers results in a whole pile of angst. Characters: Scott, Alan, John, Gordon, Virgil - November 2020

That One Scene | That One Scene #2  Two scenes from a movie rewrite Characters: Jeff, Hood, Scott, Gordon, Virgil, Alan, John - November 2020

Is- Is That My Blood? Scott’s trapped in a cave-in, and there’s too much blood Characters: Scott - November 2020

Random Scene  AU Crime drama-esque scene with canonical character death Characters: Grandma, Scott - December 2020

Random Prologue Where Scott is Not Okay and just wants to go home Characters: Virgil, Scott - December 2020

Crack When a storm gets too intense for Thunderbird One to fly, Scott has to hunker down and wait it out. Characters: Scott - December 2020

Holey Scott There is a hole in Scott where there shouldn’t be Characters: Virgil, Scott - December 2020

FANART:

Dragon!TB1 A dragonified drawing of Thunderbird One, based on a Flight Rising fandragon - January 2020

Return of the Dragon A snapshot moment from my fic of the same name - July 2020

Night Out A snapshot moment from my fic of the same name - November 2020

The Missing Hair Gel An imagining of Scott without any hair gel - December 2020

Six Boys, Six Fandoms A collection of six drawings of six favourite boys from six favourite series! - December 2020

Dragon!TB2 A dragonified drawing of Thunderbird Two, based on a Flight Rising fandragon - December 2020